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fayes-fics · 5 months

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Innuendo Bingo

Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x fem!reader, modern AU

Summary: Crack fic. Modern AU. Someone knows a LOT of stupid synonyms for orgasms...

Warnings: Teen and up. Sexual humour, a lot of stupidity. Non-explicit references to sex acts. Basically, I'm sorry.

Word Count: 0.8k

Authors note: Request fill for @sorryallonsy, who asked for Benedict crack fic with him coming up with stupid names for orgasms (ask HERE). I'm sorry this took SO LONG, especially as it is so short. However, I was in the mood to polish off (heheheh) something silly today, and this was just the ticket. Unbetaed cos it's ridiculous. Thanks, and err, enjoy, I guess? <3

Bridgerton family brunch happens once a month and is always memorable. The family usually takes over some swish eatery in central London for a few hours with their unique brand of noisy, chaotic camaraderie. Being Benedict's girlfriend, you are now a part of this melee. It’s one such Sunday when you are finishing your quite delicious but oversized meal that Benedict leans in.

“I can't wait to have you naked again,” he rumbles right in your ear.

You almost spit your last mouthful all over the table. After a few beats, you recover enough to reply.

“Your mother is right there!” you chastise sotto voce, nodding imperceptibly across the table, pulling a pointed expression, even as your mind is filled with images of him waking you up just this morning with his tongue between your thighs.

“Please,” he withers good-naturedly. “I have seven siblings. Do you really think this libido isn't genetic?” he jests, a hand on your knee now.

“Stop it!” you giggle, not wanting to think of his mother that way.

“Also, she is not paying us any mind,” he points out, crowding closer.

Indeed, she is engrossed in a chat with Kate and has one of Daphne’s kids ensconced in her lap, diverting all her attention.

“Besides, are you telling me you don't want to have another orgasm today?” he goads, lips warm on your neck as those fingers spider higher up your thigh, knowing precisely what your weak spots are and exploiting them.

“Well, now… I didn’t say that…” you counter, eyes fluttering closed briefly at his onslaught. “But I might need a few hours after all this food,” you mime a bloated stomach.

It's his turn to chuckle, a warm sound that skitters over your skin. “That's fair,” he assesses. “Can't be releasing the Kraken if you have a food baby…”

You can't help but emit a bark of laughter at that. Everyone at the table looking briefly askance at you before resuming their discussions.

“The what?” you wheeze.

“You heard me,” he quips warmly. “Don't like that? I've got a million more,” he vows, eyes twinkling with mischief.

“Don't…” you warn softly, but that just seems to goad him on.

“Making waffles? Popping the weasel…?”

“Waffles?” you frown, “I thought it was whoopee?”

“That too,” he smiles, eyes crinkling in that adorable way as he continues. “Petting the cat? Nulling the void? You can cuff my carrot, and I’ll dial your rotary phone?” each phrase is delivered full of mirth, close to your ear, and you can't help the stupid grin on your face.

“Stop it,” you protest weakly, nudging him gently with your elbow but having to muffle your laughter into his shoulder.

“I’ll stop when you stop finding them funny…” he counters genially. “Marching the penguin? Downstair DJing? Turning on the sprinklers? Debugging the hard drive?”

Each one has you hopelessly sniggering to the point you can't breathe, and little tears form at the corner of your eyes.

“What in God's name are you doing to your girlfriend, Benedict?” Anthony’s voice suddenly rings out from the head of the table. “It looks like she is about to die… hands where I can see them, please!”

Everyone at the table twists to look at you and laughs as both of you instantly raise your hands as if being held hostage; you mortified by the idea everyone thinks you might be up to things in front of them all, even though you know Anthony is joshing.

But then Benedict murmurs a quiet parting shot out the corner of his mouth.

“Chastising the family… jewels...”

And yeah, your loud snort is definitely undignified.

—

You are back at his place relaxing on the sofa a few hours later - When Harry Met Sally is playing on the TV - when he wraps an arm around your shoulder.

“Fancy doing a Meg Ryan?” he whispers, his tone laced with levity.

“Bit late for that. We left the restaurant a few hours ago,” you sigh in mock disappointment, a playful smile tugging at the corner of your mouth.

“I don't mind a private performance,” he breezes, trailing a hand over your neckline and nuzzling your cheek. “I rather like the idea of watching you paddle your pink canoe….”

Yeah, no, you definitely lose it at that one.

Collapsing into him, your laughter does not even subsidise when he unzips your dress with his practised skill.

“Please… one ticket to the solo show just for me?” he implores, kissing along your jaw. “Visit that safety deposit box? Orbit Venus? A little double-clicking?”

“You are going to need to stop…” you object faintly, an odd mix of lightness from giggling so much and arousal coursing through you as his fingers circle over your underwear.

“Never…..” he teases in that gravelly tone that always persuades you.

“Fine, but only if I can watch you polish your bannister…” you throw back, pushing off your underwear with a comic flourish.

His laugh is deep and all-consuming, racking his whole frame as he suddenly scoops you up and strides towards his bedroom.

“Deal!”

Benedict taglist: @foreverlonginguniverse @colettebronte @aintnuthinbutahounddog @severewobblerlightdragon @writergirl-2001 @heeyyyou @enichole445 @enchantedbytomandhenry @ambitionspassionscoffee @chaoticcalzoneranchsports @nikaprincessofkattegat @baebee35 @crowleysqueenofhell @fiction-is-life @lilacbeesworld @broooookiecrisp @queen-of-the-misfit-toys @eleanor-bradstreet @divaanya @musicismyoxygen84 @benedictspaintbrush @miindfucked @cayt0123 @hottytoddyhistory @truly-dionysus @fictionalmenloversblog @zinzysstuff @malpalgalz @panhoeofmanyfandoms @kinokomoonshine @causeimissu @delehosies @m-rae23 @last-sheep @kmc1989 @desert-fern @starkeylover @corpseoftrees-queen @magical-spit @bunnyweasley23 @how-many-stars-in-the-sky @amygdtjhddzvb @sya-skies @balladynaaa @urfavnoirette

#benedict bridgerton fanfiction #benedict bridgerton #benedict bridgerton smut #benedict bridgerton crack #benedict bridgerton imagine #bridgerton fanfiction #bridgerton #bridgerton crack #bridgerton smut #bridgerton imagine #benedict bridgerton x reader #benedict bridgerton x female reader #benedict bridgerton x you #benedict bridgerton x y/n #bridgerton x reader #bridgerton x female reader #bridgerton x you #bridgerton x y/n

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nothorses · 6 months

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Wait do most guys on t not 'get soaking wet'? I mean I've always 'overlubed' a bit, but but I've been on t a little while now and I feel like I get wetter now than I used to, which is saying a lot. Am I that abnormal?

I'd say it's abnormal in the sense that it's not the common experience, but I don't think that means you need to be concerned about it.

"Vaginal atrophy" means a lot of things, but essentially, it's the same thing that happens during menopause (which also means that resources for people experiencing menopause are often helpful to people with vaginas on testosterone HRT). The hormones that keep that tissue healthy are no longer present in the way they used to be, so the tissue is atrophying over time.

My personal experience has been that while my libido went up & I experience arousal more frequently/intensely, my body's physical response to arousal- lubrication & relaxation of pelvic muscles for easier penetration- is pretty significantly reduced, and takes a lot longer to happen to the degree that I need it to in order for penetration to be comfortable. i.e., I am dryer and tighter. I also have found that I'm dryer overall, and sometimes feel itchy because of that; a little lube helped me go about my day when it first started happening, now I don't really notice it.

During my last pap smear, my doctor noted minor redness, inflammation, and irritation, which she said was typical of folks on testosterone HRT & wasn't anything to worry about. The skin is more delicate and easier to irritate, and that's about all.

You might be experiencing some but not all of the symptoms of vaginal atrophy, or you might be experiencing them more mildly, or you might be early enough in the process that it hasn't been noticeable yet. If you feel like you're actually lubricating more than you used to before HRT, I would also wonder if maybe your libido is just higher? But I'm not a doctor, let alone your doctor, and I have no way of making a worthwhile guess here.

If you're getting the changes you went on T for, like... "vaginal atrophy" is not typically one of the desirable changes anyway, and unless you actively want that, you probably don't need to worry about it. You can and should talk to a doctor if you're feeling concerned about any of this at all, though- I'm just sharing my own personal experiences.

Also, for everyone reading this:

"Vaginal atrophy" can sound scary, but

It's normal and natural, and it happens to everyone with a vagina who gets old enough for menopause to start,

It's entirely- and easily!- treatable, and

It's a reversible effect of testosterone HRT, and things will return to normal given a little time should you ever choose to stop.

You might consider asking your doctor about topical estrogen cream if you want to reverse the effects of vaginal atrophy without interfering with your T. This is also a common treatment for folks who go through menopause.

There are lubes out there specifically for folks experiencing vaginal atrophy as well; they're designed not to irritate fragile skin, and they can be helpful if you're experiencing a stinging sensation during penetration with normal lube (though again, talk to your doctor!! Please!!)

And as a side note: some people who go on T experience cramping (a lot like menstrual cramps) after a few years, and you can also often treat this with topical estrogen cream. I had some pretty severe recurring cramping that went away after a few weeks using topical estrogen cream. If a doctor tries to tell you that the only way to stop this cramping is by getting a hysterectomy, I would consider researching topical estrogen cream and getting a second opinion.

And lastly:

Talk to you doctor!!

#hrt #testosterone #testosterone hrt #transition #transmasc #transmasculine #ftm

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cod-z · 3 months

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Being Used

You chose to read this, do NOT blame me if you ignore my warnings! TW: Manipulation, SA, Mental Manipulation, Power abuse, Degradation, Swearing, Comparing, DarkFic, just rlly fucked shit I thought of.

Pairing(s): 141 x Reader

| One-shots |

A/N: Been thinking about dark stuff…? Idk, I’m just out of it right now, my mentality is spiralling and I need to release these dark thoughts about the boys, using and abusing us.

Captain John Price who uses you to his advantage, to have control over you and using your being to bend against his will, use your mind as a second host like a parasite infesting into your brain. John Price who will make you second guess your thoughts, your pros and cons, your morals just because he can and will, abusing his rank against you as you suffer the consequences of his choices, whether it’s you who takes the bullets for the team or being the little, bitch you are on his desk being bent over and his cock being bullied into your cervix. He’d ravish and abuse you whenever and however he wants even if you were damaged, healing, doesn’t matter as long as he had gotten his fill from you because you’re a good soldier, a good soldier who’ll listen to the Captain, right? Right?

Lieutenant Ghost a darkened man, a former shell of the life he could’ve had, if his family was still alive minus the asshole of a father. If only he wasn’t weak and so naive back then perhaps he’d be different to the person you know as Ghost, using you just the same as Price but less soft and controlled, using you as he abuses his rank, humiliating you in front of recruits because he could. He’s breaking you like the world has broken him, jealous of the family that awaited you back home with love and care, using you so can know how he felt when he was younger. Taking you every which way just like Price but this time it was off and on base, slamming your doors open while he slammed you against the wall. You’ll help your Lieutenant, it wasn’t your choice.

Sergeant Soap he was more merciful than the other two seeing as being a Sergeant didn’t have the intense workload like the Captain and Lieutenant, no, but he used you for his high libido, always grabbing you into darkened corners, covering your pretty mouth while he ruts into your ass or cunt even if you begged him to stop. Now with his mentality, he was fine, sure he had his dark days when the mission went south but it rarely happened but when it did… hell would’ve been a better option to live in. He may not be of higher statue but he’ll treat you as the lowest of filth, embarrassing you further than Ghost ever will while he makes sure to implant thoughts into the recruits that you were nothing but a slut, even at your given rank, letting his ego fuel as you agree as he groped you. You let him do it, why? He wanted you and you wanted him, this is what you want, is it not?

Sergeant Gaz was a pretty-boy, in your eyes he did nothing wrong, never argues, never raises his voice, denying all the dark rumours that surrounded his picture perfect image, never wanting to burn that mental image of him. Gaz the perfect, pretty-boy. Wrong. Behind closed doors he’d degrade you, telling that your worth was beyond nothing but a speckle of dirt on the ground, using you as an outlet of his fury while he hate-fucks you onto the floor. If both of you were outside, he’d bury your face into the dirt and compares you to it, how you should be 6 feet under, harsh words and insults leaving his pretty mouth. Mentally and emotionally, he uses you to show that he wasn’t someone to be looked as perfect, he had his flaws, he had that same insanity as the rest of the Task Force and he’ll show you as the example. Anything for the pretty-boy…

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hymemena · 6 months

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My Spotify Wrapped 2023 Top Ten Lyric Starters

Feel free to change pronouns as necessary, and remember to specify muse for multimuse blogs.

CW: General ns.fw, blood, rough sex, toxicity, daddy kink, manipulation, drug use, electrostim, alcohol use

—

ASHNIKKO - TANTRUM

"Riots on the TV."

"They wanna keep it PG."

"All their daughters wanna be me."

"Believe me."

"I'm not nice, I'm a meanie."

"I did something bad."

"Please don't get attached."

"There's no coming back."

"Break a heart like an eggshell."

"Throw a tantrum, baby."

"Baby, doll me up 'cause I'm a brat."

"I'm a brat."

"I'm a handful."

"Bitch, I am one."

"Make it tragic."

MOXIFLOXI - BRAT

"Spoil me, buy me things!"

"Golden watches, diamond rings."

"Take me out and pamper me."

"Show me I'm your everything."

"Bend me over, make me scream."

"Choke me, hold me, breed me, stroke me."

"Make me say those dirty things."

"Bring me joy!"

"I'm your girl/boy and you're my toy!"

"Buy me gifts. Give me more!"

"Make me feel like I'm adored."

"Put me in my place."

"Slap my face."

"Treat me like your little whore."

"Use me 'til you make me come."

ORGY - TALK SICK

"You've got some nerve to throw it in my face."

"They want your money, honey."

"Don't they seem so loving?"

"Trick or treat and we fade away."

"Kicked to the curb on judgement day."

"A pinch of salt in your Hater-ade?"

"Just a little bit of torture."

"Move a little closer."

"Listen to the clock tick."

"Tell me if you want it."

"I can make you toxic."

"Come fake the fire."

"Get you higher than high, suck you dryer than dry."

"Race you to the steeple."

"On the bright side, we should bang one last time."

PARANOiD DJ - GET HOOKED (VALENTINO'S DEAL)

"So, I'm the boss man."

"I've got anything you'll ever want."

"Call me sir, call me Daddy, call me CEO."

"But for you, Baby Doll, just call me -name-."

"'Cause I run this empire."

"I flaunt this."

"Every day I'm gon' be cashin' the checks."

"Eyes up, show the man respect."

"Come on, Baby."

"You'll feel pleasures that you never knew were real before."

"With my hands on your hips and my taste on your lips?"

"Take you to your limit 'til you give in."

"Got you feeling like I'm all that you need."

"All in the service of insatiable greed."

"Don't want no backtalk, just follow my word."

UNDERSCORES - SPOILED LITTLE BRAT

"Am I extreme?"

"Strictly business."

"Take a picture, hope it lasts long."

"Yeah, I live for the attention."

"I got a problem and it's not my fault."

"Why would I pay it any mind?"

"But yeah, I guess I must have pissed you off."

"Thinking about a little something something in my septum and a couple tattoos."

"Gossip 'bout a little something something even though nobody ever asked you."

"Shut your mouth, listen up when I talk!"

"I'm a spoiled little brat and I get what I want!"

"Stick around and I'ma do my worst."

"What the Hell did you expect?"

"Criticize a little something something that I did because somebody had to."

"If I did a little something something in the bathroom could I get it past you?"

GENITORTURERS - MACHINE LOVE

"Come on, feel my affection."

"Feel my affection for machine love."

"Just plug in, then fade out."

"It's the real deal."

"It's the real deal, electric feel."

"Trip your pulse, your heart beats faster."

"Ask yourself how long you can last."

"Come on, feel my danger."

"I'll be your cheap slut savior."

"I am the one who makes you want it."

"Sex, sex, sex, sex, sex!"

"Does your libido feel my sex?"

"Come tonight."

"Be with me all of the time."

"I am the one who makes you come."

CALL ME KARIZMA - ART HOE

"Never had her dad there."

"Kissed a lot of boys but never seems to have care."

"She just wants vodka and cigarettes."

"Has the dealer on speed dial when she gets stressed."

"She knows, she knows, she knows, she knows that I can't resist her ways."

"I'm so exposed to all the tricks she plays."

"I think I fell in love with an art hoe."

"I think I love getting my heart broke."

"Wakes up at noon, gets up when she has to."

"Cocaine in her bathroom."

"She just wants love that she never gets."

"Has my number on speed dial when she needs sex."

"Caught up and never talked to her."

"She ripped my heart in half, took me for all I have."

"Got nothing left but it's cool."

NEW YEARS DAY & CHRIS MOTIONLESS - ANGEL EYES

"There's something about you I cannot explain."

"I just want to know you."

"It's not what you said, not the way you said it."

"I'm under your spell and I don't regret it."

"Take my breath."

"Baby, reach inside my chest."

"You can have whatever's left."

"Baby, I'm possessed."

"Don't you try to hide with those angel eyes?"

"If you let me inside, I won't hold back this time."

"More than paralyzed."

"Oh, it's the chase you like?"

"I should get away, I want you way too much."

"I don't care how many times it takes to get through to you."

"This is a force that not even God can stop."

DANNY GONZALES - SPOOKY HO

"Make that ass shake like that ass is scared of me."

"All these other spooky dudes can't compare to me."

"October 31st, bitch, you know what I'ma be."

"I'ma be a ho for Halloween."

"Yo, happy Halloweeny!"

"My shorts looking teeny?"

"My big fat pumpkin pie going trampoliney."

"Her man wanna be me."

"She bad like a meanie."

"I knew we'd get along 'cause she loves Frankenweenie."

"Pull up to the party on a broomstick."

"I'm too thick."

"Crush a bunch of Smarties up, take two hits."

"Costume shopping, I'ma pop a tag."

"Bitch, I'm sexy Freddy Krueger, I'm about to pop off!"

GENITORTURERS - CUM JUNKIE

"I want your body."

"I want your mind."

"You know you like the way it feels."

"You cannot hide."

"Keep on thrillin' me."

"You're drillin' me hard."

"Keep me up all night."

"This conversation gets me high."

"Let's go."

"Turn me on."

"Can't stop feelin' me up all night, yeah?"

"Are you feelin' me?"

"I'm on a mission."

"Wanna keep you high."

"Too many kisses for alibi."

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sapphire-weapon · 3 months

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Do you think it's possible that some RE characters could be asexual? Or, that they won't be very sexually active for different reasons? I was wondering that since someone said Leon wouldn't probably very active, but I wanted your take on the subject because your opinion is the only one that matter to me.

i'll be completely transparent with this and say outright that i don't understand asexuality super well, so i don't want to speak as though i'm some sort of authority on this.

i don't think that any of the cast are sex-repulsed, but i know that there's different shades and types of asexuality that i'm not very familiar with, so i'm just going to do my best with the language i have.

i think chris has a very low libido and can probably count on his hands the number of sexual partners he's had in his life -- and the vast majority of them, if not all of them, happened before the arklay mountain incident. like, he wasn't very sexually active even before the trauma, but post-trauma it just became the least important thing to him. like, if anyone in the cast comes anywhere close to being genuinely asexual, it'd probably be chris.

i'm assuming that the person that you're talking about was referring to remake leon, because OG leon is a fucking whore who swaps his vice of choice between booze and pussy depending on where he's at in his character arc. or, at least tries to. his success in actually getting laid is debatable, but i don't think OG leon ever stopped wanting it or trying to pursue it.

remake leon, i think, allowed his libido to die. like, i think he had a very average, healthy sex drive at one point, but as he became more withdrawn and isolated, he also became more uncomfortable with extended acts/moments of intimacy. and, at first, he kind of wrestled with the whole "i want it and i miss it but i can't bring myself to do it so i guess i'll just jerk off or something" thing. but as time went on, the further he got away from the last time he was with someone, the less he started to miss it, and now not having it is just any other regular part of his life that he doesn't think about anymore, really. he doesn't go after it, doesn't expect it, and doesn't care. but there's still some kind of subconscious longing he feels, which is how moments like lingering with ashley still in his arms after she jumped out the window happen.

but that's really it. it's just chris and remake leon that i get these vibes from. i could maybe make a case for sherry, too, but i'm kind of on the fence about that one.

everyone else, i feel, is varying degrees of average -- with the exception of claire, who i think has a higher than average libido. like, even jill, even with her insane trauma -- i don't think it manifests for her in this way.

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nyctophobia-au · 2 years

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Higher Being Biology and Specifics: The White Lady [“Vesla”]

‘Sup, everyone! This is the very first of my many infodumps. I wanted to start with Higher Being biology because I already had a bunch of information typed out. I’ll have separate posts for each of the Higher Beings, starting with Vesla. So, enjoy the infodump, I guess. Higher Being Biology and Specifics: The White Lady [“Vesla”]

Other nicknames include: Pale Root, Root, Lady Root, the Queen, the Lady, Ves (by Auric), Vessie (by Auric).

Like Auric, Vesla has her own Pale Light. Unlike her husband’s, however, her Light does not bring pain to those who look upon it. Instead, basking in her glow provides both mortal bugs and other Higher Beings with a feeling of happiness and contentment. Being around her can have a calming, mellowing effect—her Light can offset aggression. The Light itself is dimmer in shine than the King’s, but she is better at controlling its glow.

Vesla has several different types of spores and pollen:

One of her spores can cause paralysis for up to an hour at a time.

One spore can induce sleep; the effect is tenfold when she is using her Light to calm the individual.

The final spore of hers can cause mild poisoning; the effect is not lethal, but the unlucky bug hit with the spore can feel sick for up to a week.

Finally, Vesla releases fertility pollen once a year during her mating cycle. Each spring, Vesla goes into heat and produces an aphrodisiac-like pollen that, when inhaled, causes the subject to experience heightened libido. She produces this pollen for up to one week—the pollen itself is airborne.

Each spring solstice, when she goes through her mating cycle, she travels to Queen’s Gardens to root herself to the ground and release her pollen into the air. The pollen encourages bugs to procreate for the coming spring. This tradition has become a Hallownest holiday; the New Life Celebration.

She used to make the trek to her Gardens with her husband each spring. However, as he became more and more consumed with his work and royal duties, Vesla started bringing her dedicated knight, Dryya.

Vesla and Auric have an open relationship; it is natural for Higher Beings to take on multiple partners and concubines. Vesla is fairly experimental and has been with many people, but Dryya is the only one of her partners that stays consistent. In turn, Dryya thinks of herself as her Lady’s girlfriend.

Vesla is unable to consume traditional foods, for she does not have a mouth. Instead, once every three months, she will root herself to the ground within her chambers (specialised for the purpose) and will regain nutrients from the soil within. When she’s rooted, her husband often visits to water her and pour fertiliser in her soil. She retains extra nutrients in her roots for the three month period, until she must root herself again.

Because she is a Pale Being, her body temperature is below average. Her roots are cold to the touch, and her blood and other bodily fluids are the same.

Her body is firm and has a similar texture to the bark of a smooth tree. Her body is covered in intricate details and patterns, reminiscent of the age rings one may find in a tree. Her face and roots are the only parts of her with a degree of plasticity.

Her hemolymph is similar in colour to the blue of her eyes. Her flush is blue, both on her cheeks and the tips of her roots. The hemolymph is thick and sappy, clotting easily when she is injured.

As for the Kingsoul, the Kingsoul is a symbol of her Union with Auric. It is split into two White Fragments that both of them wear on their person. The Queen wears hers pinned to the inside of her robes.

Like other Higher Beings, Vesla is intersex.

Because she is a fertility goddess, Vesla is easily able to produce children. She can lay up to ten eggs at a time, out of which multiple offspring can hatch from each one.

#infodump #hollow knight au #hollow knight #the white lady #white lady #au #fictional biology #video games #aggressive headcanons #are they considered headcanons if they are canon in an au universe?#i dunno #i am very obsessed #the fact that i had all of this info typed out beforehand is probably concerning #ramblings

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vomitnest · 2 months

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when i was younger there eventually came a point, probably after having seen some really life-changing documentaries (e.g. the corporation and the canary effect), that my outlook on life disintegrated to the extent of my being completely disaffected with the world that's being marketed to us. i became deeply skeptical and somewhat of a self-imposed outsider. i never hopped a train or got out of dodge. at least not yet. (ha.) but it's a similar thing with the the way certain music effects me. which i think is the higher purpose of any great work of art, or movie, or performance. it completely changes your life or shakes up the way you look at the world and the way you choose to live in it. it disturbs you. but then sometimes it shakes you up in a different way. it propels you into flights of ecstasy. memories and feelings surface and you find yourself traversing poignant emotional vistas of rare and uncharted territory. it connects you to your inner creative genius. and your libido and your life force. your deeper self. the real one. your own personal divine spark. it can be profoundly intense. there is a particular feeling for me... when it comes over me... it's rapturous... it's like torture but it's ecstatic... it happened to me a second ago when i was listening to party police by alvvays.

the eclipse happened today. it's funny because today does feel like a pivotal moment in time. supposedly the eclipse was in aries but i'm not really that into astrology. i'm an aries. anyway. so i've been thinking about how suicide doesn't seem that revolutionary. or self-sabotage. i'd like to figure out a way to escape that involves minimal amounts of suicide and self-sabotage, if any. the less the better, as a matter of fact. i'm okay with burning bridges and social death and becoming a ghost because that kind of happened already. against my will. and painfully slowly. in waves of mishaps. broken bonds. lost loves. anyway i'm cool with being a weirdo and having spent the time i did the way i did. it is what it is. i'm learning to make peace with it. last time a major solar eclipse happened i was in asheville, north carolina.

but yeah fuck this place. there just doesn't seem to be anywhere else to go. i'm not a gutterpunk. i'm not street smart. or very tough. even though i have been homeless a few times and i'm somewhat brave with sketchy people. but i guess it just feels like a crisis of belonging. i don't feel like i belong with anyone it seems like. even my activist friends. it would be cool to be part of a black bloc or something. like what happened in seattle in 1999. or what's happening now with people protesting for palestine. that's really beautiful. i'd like to be part of something like that but without coming home to a bourgeois consumerist yuppie life that revolves around me paying for some nice place and living a life of privilege and personal success. at least not success in the shallow, material sense of looking successful and having social status and wealth and stuff. it sucks that when you're poor, that is generally the dream. the goal. or else what you would prefer to have instead of what you do have if you could. a life of comfort. but there has to be something else to aspire to than that. what i do know is i want to live an emotionally rich life. with a lot of time spent appreciating beauty and interacting with the people around me from an authentic place that appreciates the fact we are all going to die and that this is fleeting. maybe music will save my life. who knows. a man can dream.

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waywardsculs · 3 months

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Okay let's go, any specific type of partner the angels prefers? Kinks? 👀

UNPROMPTED // ALWAYS ACCEPTING

ALRIGHTY, there's a fair bit to unpack so we're throwing it under a read more to save post length but here we go.

CUPID here is literally the sweetest partner you could ask for, but he's also a huge fucking dork. He'd need someone that could yank his ass out of shenanigans and keep him from doing something dumb. Despite being the patron of Love he's painfully inexperienced in the field himself, and sex as well. He's open to just about anything though. He's probably also the biggest switch of all the divine here and would absolutely let female partners peg him --

GABRIEL really doesn't think much about relationships truth be told. Almost all of the other beings up in Heaven look upon the primordial ones as untouchable, so this gets in the way of forming new relationships a lot. That said however he'd want someone who can bring some sense of excitement into his life, someone lively and will let him be clingy at times. In regards to kinks, he's not really thought about it much. If anything I'd likely say he's the type for risky locations.

RAPHAEL is admittedly the most difficult to really get close to. He prioritizes adaptability and cunning, a quick thinker and even better if they're looking to shake up the status quo. The final point, however, would have to be something kept on the down low ... For now. Out of all the primordial ones, he's probably the roughest when he really gets worked up and tends to lose himself in the heat of the moment. He's extremely passionate, and don't think you'll get out of things without a lot of marks. He fucking loves a vocal partner, bonus points for more of a brat mindset.

SERAPHIEL is the pickiest of all of the divine on this blog for a reason - he's got not only his status to think of, but his precious daughters. He needs a partner that his girls will accept in their lives, someone that can help lighten the load of his work and support him. If they can manage to help him learn to be more expressive that's a bonus. Now, one thing to note is that he can be extremely possessive. He's very into collaring his partner in some way, light bondage, but he's also got one of the higher libidos. Also if you couldn't guess already, this guy here isn't one to use protection.

URIEL , last but not least. This man here is the one that has bedded quite a few demons by this point. He adores a free spirit, a free thinker, and genuinely loves being able to just watch and listen as those around him speak freely of their wants and dreams. He's very foreplay focused, so think a lot of slow and gentle touching to gradually build things up. He also might be privy to a fair bit of dirty talk and foreplay in extremely risky situations - think out on public locations where anyone could catch on to what's happening. Again, he's handsy and thrives on physical touch.

#suggestive cw #┊CUPID ═══ ✧ in character #┊GABRIEL ═══ ✧ in character #┊RAPHAEL ═══ ✧ in character #┊SERAPHIEL ═══ ✧ in character #┊URIEL ═══ ✧ in character #┊killin' time and takin' names ═══ ✧ memes & prompts

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codegengar · 7 months

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i don't know why i tend to feel lost the day after my therapy session. what we talked about during the time ended up in a different direction than what i expected – we talked about my relationship and how i felt a sense of restlessness due to the different trajectories d and i are taking in life. despite everything, i'm trying to move forward, to succeed in school and do co-op to help with my future. him, on the other hand... i do not want to psychoanalyze, but perhaps the routine is comforting, and change is hard for him as his past has been always in a state of uncertainty and instability. but so was mine. yet mine was always a kind of internal struggle ultimately, i think, while his is a mix of both, but perhaps more externally.

in that, i do not know. this morning, i was unconscious as he was getting ready to go to work at six in the morning, despite always being somewhat roused when he kissed me goodbye. because of this, when i awoke to some creaky sounds around my dormitory, i wondered if he was still in the room (i thought i felt his phone next to me, but it could be me touching the camera part of my own which could simulate the feel of his pop-socket), and if he was crossed with me from the night before. it felt like a blast in the past, when i refused to be sexually intimate because i overate during dinner (we had sushi-bake for the first time, without the baking). although come to think of it, after the last week of having a higher libido, i feel it crashing down a bit. female hormonal cycles will always be a mystery. but it could also do with the fact that i do feel uncomfortable down there, and i feel the need to take my supplements again to prevent any recurring bacterial infections. i should really inform him to get me more d-mannose.

i ended up not doing any studying today (or yesterday rather, as it is past midnight), as i woefully always hope i do the night before. i did do a few major chores in the afternoon (i.e. fold the laundry and wash the dishes), and hopefully that lends to d being more productive in some way. but my guess is that he ended up playing escape from tarkov for the last six hours since i've left.

and that was the what i was getting at earlier. it just feels like we are stagnant, which i do not mind, but it does not help with my motivation and productivity. i always had the idea that once i escaped my dysfunctional family, that i would be cured from the lethargy and lack of motivation that came with the mental anguish of living with them. but it doesn't work that way, and in hindsight, it sounds kind of silly. that lack of motivation is part of my depression, which won't be magically cured just because i removed myself from a toxic environment (which i go back to every weekend, as i offered to my mother to compromise for letting me run away from her controlling grasp). i wish he was working towards some sort of goal, which would help motivate me move towards my goals. because i do not really have any friends that are studious besides a, who is in a co-op work term right now and is not on campus to spend any time together. i've been keeping in touch with t more often, but we are not that close that she replies on time when i ask her where she is on campus to study. which is inconvenient since she is theoretically the most accessible person for me to connect with, as she also lives on campus.

the one good thing about going back to my parents' house for the weekend is seeing my cat, even though she's not very affectionate unless i am lying down (when you are busy doing something and are lying down, she'll sit on you. very rewarding experience). i wish we could keep pets in our dorm. not that it stops people (t's roommate has some gerbils), but a cat is more noticeable than rodents, and we do not have the funds to do so as we are both trying to save money (which we are failing to do so as of late with our new furnishing purchases).

i told d to wake me up before noon starting this week to go on walks to motivate me to at least not feel like my day is ruined by waking up in the afternoon. i am going to push myself to not be an ass and actually wake up when he tells me to do so (although that will involve sleeping earlier, which i need to tell myself to tell him to get off his pc at night). i have not fallen in a proper routine since first year (although technically, looking back on my transcript, i had someone of a routine in third year when there was hybrid classes. it just did not feel like one because d was following me everywhere and i ended up skipping a lot of my classes to spend my mornings with him).

it feels like i am indulging in my vices, but i am not happier, or feel good in the slightest. i guess that is what my coping mechanism is – engaging in a lot of short-term, dopamine inducing things that end up making me feel more guilty. but i am not trying to. realistically, i tell myself taking one to two mental health days are okay, but not the whole week (which is what i have been doing, essentially).

i'll try again tomorrow. it will be a new day.

i will go to church (and sleep throughout the entire mass), have lunch with my family, and hopefully request to go home earlier since it does not seem they have a fancy dinner planned. our fancy dinner was today (aka yesterday), as my mother celebrated my achievement of landing a co-op job for next semester. maybe telling them to drop me off in kerrisdale will be a good idea, as i need to buy more double eyelid tape in size medium, and i can study at the japanese green tea café. my wallet won't like that idea though. i'll ask my dad for some lunch money or something, haha.

the term 'high-functioning' seems so out of place, but i guess it is what it is. i have done quite decently for myself as a borderline. goodnight.

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90363462 · 2 years

Text

media.giphy.com

Guess What Your Man Needs More Than Sexual Pleasure (In The Bedroom)?

Chances are, your man wishes you would do this a whole lot more...

Shellie R. Warren

Sep. 10, 2021 04:53PM EST

Sometimes, I'll happen upon some data that, while it doesn't surprise me one bit, I'm grateful to share it because it helps to confirm something that I find myself saying a lot. Today, what I'm referring to is what I hear, nonstop, from husbands when I'm in a lot of my sessions. I'm pretty sure that you can tell from the title that this is in the lane of sex specifically. And y'all, if there are two things that at least 70 percent of the men I speak with say that they wish they got more of, it's — pretty sure you're not shocked by this first one — sex followed by what I don't want to give away in this intro.

You know, there are a billion articles out here that touch on things like sexual technique, toys and positions. Yet the reality is, if you really want to be considered a great lover, there is something that trumps all of this. According to men, anyway. I'll get into it now.

What Does a Man Desire More than an Orgasm?

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Recently, I read an article about a study that said there is something in particular that 95 percent of men (who participated) said that they wanted more than even the pleasure that they experience from sex itself. Can you guess what it is? Drum roll, please. It's to feel sexually desired. For that to happen, they really wanted their partner to initiate sex more often.

Instantly, when I read that, I thought about another article that was published on Fatherly's site not too long ago. It's entitled, "Why Am I Always the One Initiating Sex?". It gets into some of the reasons why wives oftentimes don't take the lead in this area including men having higher testosterone levels (which can make them more "aggressive" on the sexual tip); women being conditioned to let a man make the first move; women (especially mothers) being too tired to initiate sex and, women sometimes having lower libidos, in part, because they feel exhausted (those are just some of the leading factors, by the way).

Most of y'all know that I work with married couples for a living, so yes — all of these reasons are quite viable. However, another reason that I think needs to go on record is, a lot of us don't make sexually affirming men a top priority. It's like we've got this wack mentality that, so long as we're giving him some, that should be all that he requires; when, the reality is, contrary to popular belief (or is it assumption?), men have feelings, men want to feel wanted, men don't always want to take the lead in the bedroom.

So, why don't a lot of us realize this? A point that the article I read made is, while there are plenty of studies on what women desire sexually, there hasn't always been much published data on men. Now that things are changing, we're getting to understand men more on a mental and emotional level in this lane. And according to the study, feeling desired by their partner was "very important" to 58 percent of them, "extremely important" to 20 percent and "paramount" to eight percent. Yes y'all, it's a really big deal.

To confirm what, again, I already believe to be true, I decided to ask some men who I personally know about their thoughts on all of this. If you're curious, I'll share with you what five of them said.

5 Men Tell Me How Being the “Main Initiator” for Sex Makes Them Feel

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Alex. 26. Single. "I'm gonna speak freely and say that if I have to initiate all of the time, that makes me think that the woman has a sense of entitlement. Like I should be so grateful that she's willing to have sex with me that I should be willing to do all of the work. Plus, women like that tend to not do a lot in bed overall. They'll just lay there. It's a turn-off."

Zachary. 34. Married. "When my wife and I were dating, she initiated a lot. It was about two years into our marriage that it started to change. I think it's because, since we were long-distance [while dating], there was a lot of thrill and excitement. After marriage, you can easily take each other for granted. That about sums it up. When women refuse to initiate, we feel taken for granted."

Josh. 30. Single. "I thought y'all hated patriarchy? OK, so where does all of this 'it's a man's job to seduce' come in? Lawd, pick a team and stay there. Just like you want to feel like we can't wait to tear your clothes off, we want to feel the same way."

Victor. 41. Divorced. "There's never one reason why a couple calls it quits. A big part of what caused my marriage to end is my wife had the philosophy that we could have sex whenever I initiated it but if I didn't, she could easily go weeks or months without it."

"One time, I waited to see how long she could go without bringing sex up. Eight months. And even then, I had to ask her what the deal was. She just said that sex wasn't that much of a priority to her, which meant that intimacy with us wasn't, which meant that I wasn't. If you're never initiating, don't assume that your man is cool with it. I can guarantee that he's not."

Donovan. 37. Single. "How are we supposed to know how you feel about us if you never initiate? If you are fine not having sex unless we make the first move, that sends the message that either sex isn't a priority for you or that you've got someone else on the side. People initiate sex because they enjoy it. If you're in a relationship and you're not doing that, you're sending a message that you might not be aware of — but we're taking note of."

Whew. All of this loudly expresses that if you thought that not initiating wasn't all of that big of a deal, clearly it is. So, what if you're someone who knows that you're not the best at initiating sex and therefore, you're not as consistent as you could — and probably should — be about making your partner feel more desirable? What should you do?

5 Ways to Make Your Partner Feel More Desirable in the Bedroom

1. Tell Your Man What You Adore About Him. Sexually.

media.giphy.com

Question. When's the last time that you gave your man a compliment? I'm not talking about saying something just to butter him up (so that you can get something out of him) or offering an affirmation in response to something positive that he just said to you. I mean, hitting him up out of the blue, just to tell him how amazing that you think he is. OK, now when have you done that as it relates to him sexually? You know — telling him what you love about his body, what your favorite thing is about him sexually or what you enjoy the most when the two of you are intimate. Even when life gets a little hectic and the two of you aren't able to have sex right then and there, taking the initiative to verbally affirm your partner is a very powerful way to make him feel desired. It also lets him know that sex is on your mind which, oftentimes, for men, is more than enough (for a while, anyway).

2. Plan Some Sex Dates

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When you get a chance, check out "When's The Last Time You And Your Man Had A 'Sex Date'?" and "Tonight's The Night For A Really Romantic Sexual Experience". After you do, did you know that it's been cited that 45 percent of couples don't go on dates on a consistent basis? So, you already know that a sex date is like a rainbow unicorn for a lot of these folks. Listen, I can't think of one man who wouldn't be absolutely thrilled — and maybe even a little bit shocked — by a partner planning a date that has strictly sex on the menu. It definitely lets them know that you want some alone time with them, not to have dinner and watch a movie either. It's to have sex. And then some more sex. Sex dates are a male fan favorite. Yes, I have polled.

3. Sext More Often

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If your man, out of the blue, shot you a text that said, "Damn. You're so good in bed" or "I can't ever get enough of you", how would it make you feel? Exactly.

Sexting is definitely a form of foreplay; however, it goes a bit deeper than that. It helps to boost your partner's self-esteem. It makes him feel sexually appreciated. It lets him know that you've got him on your mind, on a sexual level, even when you're apart.

How can someone not feel desired after a few sexts have been exchanged?

4. Give Him a “Sex” Gift

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Another way to make your partner feel like he is sexually wanted is to by him a sex-themed gift. Some lingerie (for you) that's in his favorite color. Some massage oil that comes with a sexy lil' note. A hotel reservation. A sex-themed board game. A sex toy. A sex pillow. You get the idea. Put it on his pillow. On the desk in his (home) office. Even better, mail it. All of us feel special when we receive a present. It goes up a notch when the present has a sex-theme attached to it.

5. When’s the Last Time You Had a Quickie?

media.giphy.com

The five men who I spoke with in this piece? Something else I asked them was how they felt about quickies. It was interesting because, while you might assume that they all were down, 4 out of 5 said that they definitely prefer longer sessions. However, when it comes to feeling more desired by their partner, what they did like about them is it sent the message of "Even if I can only have you for a moment, I'll take it. That's how much I lust you right now." Listen, I'm all about quickie sessions from time to time because it can still connect you with your partner and create a release that will help to relax you. So, whether it's as soon as you get home tonight or first thing in the morning tomorrow, initiate one of those. Your man will feel wanted, you will feel less stressed and the combo can help to make things seem so much better in the world. For real, doe.

1. Tell Your Man What You Adore About Him. Sexually.

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2. Plan Some Sex Dates

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Sent from my iPhone

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djnusagi · 2 years

Text

1 year of HRT

Today marks one year of hormone replacement therapy. I cannot find it in myself to be happy about it. Maybe it’s because I recently got past a sub 500 calories a day crash diet which caused my hair to start thinning out. It only lasted about a week and I only lost about 10lbs for all my trouble. I can’t look in the mirror. I constantly break down crying.

My hair has long been the most important physical feature I have. The one trait I like about myself. It was so full and soft and beautiful until I turned 21. Then it started to thin, and my hairline receded. The one thing about me that could be considered remotely feminine slowly melted away like sand running through my fingers. It hurt so much. But about 10 months of HRT gave it back to me. Maybe it was even better. Then one week and -10lbs took it away again. Now I feel like I’m going backwards. I haven’t been this dysphoric since the early months of HRT. I feel utterly devoid of hope and happiness.

In some ways it feels like it hasn’t done anything at all. Or at the very least the effects have been far too subtle to have any real impact. Skin is a bit softer but who would notice without touching it? Face is a bit rounder but it mostly just makes me look bloated and grotesque. Hips are a bit wider but it’s not visible to the naked eye. I have breasts but they could be easily dismissed as strange misshapen “man boobs” caused by my obesity. I guess my libido’s down and my dick is broken. It may not seem like it but I honestly am happy about that.

Nobody could ever look at me and see anything but a man. Nobody could ever look at and and even see anything remotely feminine. I am forever doomed not only to maleness but to ultra masculinity. No amount of clothing or behavioral changes can compensate for my horrendously masculine body. Nothing is getting better. It never will. It simply can’t.

I guess before my hair started falling out there were some benefits to HRT. It made me a bit more at peace with my body for a while. I hope I can get that back as it regrows. But comparing myself to other trans girls they all look so completely different one year into HRT. But I compare pictures of myself now and then side by side and like… is there really any difference at all? Maybe a little but just barely. So if this is all I get after one year I just can’t expect things to suddenly start kicking into gear during the second year or the third year. I’m just kinda… stuck like this.

I’m not gonna stop taking hormones. I’m gonna keep going and regulate my dosage. I’m currently at 9 pg/ML testosterone and 203 pg/ML estradiol. Ideally I wanna get the t even lower and the e a bit higher. I’m starting electrolysis on Wednesday and I wanna try and get an orchiectomy this year. But as far as social transition goes? I have no plans. If it becomes too difficult to boymode maybe I’ll try girlmoding. And if I can pass I guess I’ll pursue a name and sex marker change. But honestly like… I don’t know.

Pretty, passing tgirls on Twitter love to say “you can just be a woman.” They love to say that estrogen is magic and that if THEY can do it with their tiny ribcages and small shoulders and petite figure than surely ANYONE can do it. After all, they used to have a beard!! But deep down everyone knows it’s bullshit. They get to be women. They get to be beautiful. But not everyone is so lucky. Some of us were trapped in the closet for years against our will and kept away from hormone therapy until it was too late. Until our bodies were so thoroughly destroyed by testosterone that there was no going back from manhood. Nothing can save you if your body is this wrecked. I don’t get to be a woman. I don’t get to be pretty. I don’t get to be feminine. I’ll be a man forever. But idk maybe I can make it a bit more tolerable.

#nusagi blog

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ceo-of-sloppy-men · 2 years

Note

So I just saw this “Vander x Silco x Male reader in a poly relationship” and I was wondering if you could do a nsfw part? For them??

Nsfw, Duh

Both Boys are early 20s (pre betrayal)

If you try to track down Silco during the day, more often or not you'll be met with a very frustrated planner. He needs to get his frustration out, so guess who's getting pinned against the wall.

Sucking Vander off under the bar counter during slow nights is more common than you think. He leans forwards just enough to obscure you and prays to the gods no one looks close enough.

If you want both of them at the same time it has to be at night. If not you won't be able to get them in the same room thanks to their busy schedules.

But both of them together is like your own little slice of heaven.

Vander tops 98% of the time, with Silco underneath of you

Vander is loud. Silco is expressive. You won't hear Silco moan, but you'll hear Vander practically growl against your neck.

Vander's face is usually stoic, if not a bit intense. Almost terrifying to look at.

Silco, however, is an open book. He has pleasure written across the knitted eyebrows, slack jaw and rolled back eyes.

Libidos for both fluctuate, with Silco's being slightly higher.

Vander likes to fuck you against one of the tables post clean up. Usually with your legs up and back, pinned to your chest with the barrel of his chest pressing you down. Sometimes he'll just leave you there dripping as he continues to clean.

Silco can sometimes take this as an open invitation to either get up on the table and ride you, or simply add to the mess.

You cannot convince me that Vander wouldn't pick you up and put you on his shoulders to suck you off.

#silco x reader x vander #lemon #drifters back alley #silco headcanon #vander headcanon #silco arcane #vander arcane

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cooloddball · 3 years

Text

This is going to be a super long analysis of jib3 starting with the opening ceremony to the closing ceremony so brace yourselves.

Please note I believe in the breakup theory so maybe my opinion in this one might be biased so please don’t come for me, lol.

I will put it under the cut to avoid overcrowding your dashes with cockles shenanigans.

Also, watch out for profanities and mature language.

And so it begins...

Opening ceremony

The camera used to record the opening ceremony is shaky.

Misha, Jason Manns, and Jarpad seem to be having a lot of fun together and Jensen is just looking at his besties talking to the man he loves and he knows he can’t have that so he just stands there looking at them. Poor guy.

Jarpad asks who took Misha’s riffle? Things are awkward, I honestly don’t know what’s going on.

Misha kisses a plushie while making eye contact with Jensen and Jensen is like “oh, oh, wow” while making eye contact with Misha. LOL. Jack help me. This is a lot!!!

Jensen takes a plushie from Sebastian and Jared takes the one Misha had.

Are you guys flirting about trying to see whether you can keep plushies alive?

Misha throws something at the fans, I think he was throwing treats from earlier or whatever it was and Jensen says “Misha is still throwing” I mean why?

Cockles Panel

Jensen is so extra in this panel.

First of all, when he and Misha come out (no pun intended) a song starts playing and he starts dancing. Jensen is usually so poised while dancing but he is over the top throwing his back and shaking his tush for the mish. I think he was trying a little too hard. Misha spares his ex-boyfriend’s tush a glance smiles and looks away. LOL. The whole thing was cringey, tbh. It was so unlike Jensen.

When Sebastian touches Jensen’s shoulder and says something to Jensen, he [Jensen] laughs way too hard. I would say he laughs abnormally-it’s loud and he throws his whole body into it like he’s trying to prove what Sebastian was funny and it probably wasn’t. He laughs so hard he ends up right on Misha’s side. and Misha laughs at that though.

Rich says something about something in the sac that hurts(It’s incoherent) and Jensen says it hurts right here pointing at his heart (I can’t hear what they are saying exactly so if anyone knows please let me know)

I don’t know if Mark P. was going to hug Jensen or not or he was pointing at something behind Jensen, but at that moment, Jensen sees Sebastian going to hug Misha and whips his head away from Mark P’s direction so fast he almost broke his neck.

Sebastian humps Misha (these two are so playful I love them) and Jensen is just there acting awkward

There’s a comment by Rich about “It’s over, the convention’s over I’m no longer your bitch” I don’t know who this is about.

Now, now, now. This whole time Rich is doing a kissy mouth with his fingers on the monitor behind Jensen and Misha. His hand is right where Misha is standing (you’ll understand once you watch it) so Jensen makes a kissy face back and Misha is blushing? Ummm wtf is going on here?

Jensen also does something strange that he never does during cockles panels he pulls his seat away from Misha.

Misha makes a very weird comment about Sebastian’s libido drying up and they have a weird conversation about libido and Viagra ads. It’s weird.

It gets even more awkward Jensen talks about bringing a total stranger, and a blind date. And it goes downhill from there with them. The it wasn’t you it was me speech. It was special. So heartbreaking. It was clearly not about the show but about their relationship. I always have a difficult time getting through that part. It’s so awkward that the fans are just there wondering what the hell is going on.

They decide to take questions and the fan is all over the place so Misha interjects but Jensen won’t let Misha say what he wants to say so he says, “This is why you make it awkward. You never let people finish what they are saying.” Ouch. Domestic dispute vibes anyone?

The way Jensen is looking up at Misha when he’s answering that question. It’s like he wants to sear his face into his memory before they leave Rome.

Jensen is explaining to a fan how one of the four sound stages they had on set was full of furniture and Misha adds “and soiled mattresses” I mean what was the reason? Did they soil the mattresses with their [redacted]

A fan mentions something about Dean and Cas so these two adorable dorks smile and share a look. Things are starting to look up. Thank Jack.

The fan says something again (I can’t make out what he’s saying) but it must be something nice because they look at each other with smiles on their faces again.

Jensen playing with the head of his microphone. Is it just me or did the temperature rise a notch higher?

The way they look at each other when the fan says to help him choose the hottest female cast member on the show

Then something freaky happens they say the exact same thing as twins or bffs do sometimes. LOL.

When they start talking about the hot women with the fans Misha moves his entire body and now instead of looking at the fans, he is seated facing Jensen. The tension is simmering down.

A point to note is that in all their panels they always sit angled facing each other as opposed to facing the crowd save for this panel and DCCON 2019. But for DCCON I can understand that they weren’t comfortable being meant to be a J/2 panel and a creation event. So you know some people in that crowd are super mean to Mish and others to Jensen, so they had to tread carefully. But I digress back to the chaos.

They ask who wants to have a cockles panel the next year and they both raise their hands. I thought that was sweet

It’s adorable how Jensen keeps repeating everything Misha is saying.

Misha forgets himself and moves too close to Jensen to listen to the song on the phone. Jensen turns to look at Misha, I don’t know what that look is but Misha backs away laughing.

Jensen’s face journey while listening to that song is gold.

Misha moves closer to listen to the song. I have to say the way they are standing is not usually how two bros listening to music usually stand. If you know what I mean

Misha agrees that’s definitely Jensen singing. Of course, he knows because Mr. “Jensen sings to me all the time”

He looks so proud of him. I’d venture to say he’s happy to hear Jensen sing because he has always been so shy about that fact about himself. He even gives him a standing ovation. That’s so adorable. He loves him. My heart.

Jensen is so cute trying to deny it’s not him singing that song. Yeah, it’s you, Jensen. Even your ex agrees it’s you and we bet he knows how your voice sounds in all kinds of situations ;)

we get a tingly feeling so we know it’s you. Jensen’s adorable smile when Misha says that. Aww.

The way they are not even looking at each other but they are seated the exact same way.

Allow me to explain to my friend here. Explains how his parents didn’t know whether he was a boy or a girl. Misha with the steel chair, “when did they figure out that you were a boy?”

How many years did they call you holly?

For six to seven years

Is it just me or is this conversation a flashback of teenage twink-lesbian Jensen years?

Fan asks whether Dean will ever forgive Cas. Watch Misha’s body language, he is trying to pacify himself by rubbing the back of his neck and fumbling with his shirt.

When Jensen says “ No!” without a moment’s hesitation, Misha looks distraught? I don’t know maybe I’m reading too much into this but I feel like this hit too close to home being that they were most likely broken up.

Misha however has a different opinion, “I think he has”

Jensen says, “Wishful thinking” and that elicits a smile from Misha.

A fan asks about Dean giving Cas the trenchcoat back and things get interesting. Weirdly, that Jensen can’t say the word gay out loud. He literally uses the word “unmanly” in its stead in the guise of censorship? It’s not a bad word Jensen you can say it. However, Misha and the fans say the word so I’m wondering who is censoring Jensen’s use of that word. He eventually says it but super fast.

Jensen says that saying “I always knew you would come back” is not something he would say to another human being, especially a man. Jesus, there’s nothing wrong with saying that to another human being you care about. He’s the one making it gay. He was extra when answering that one.

They spent one and half hours making that scene just to end up not saying anything and it ended up looking gay anyway. Anyway, that’s interesting.

Jensen angles his body towards Mish and says in a very low soft and sexy voice “I guess I really hoped that you would come back some day” I would venture to say that Jensen at the moment in the panel was actually saying them to Misha. Who knows though?

They talk about it a whole lot for something that bothered him that much.

Misha being so excited about recreating a scene when a fan told Jarpad he’s amazing and Jarpad said "you are welcome.

“I think I understand what she wants. I’m not sure what she’s gonna get.” This is a very good line Misha. I will be using it often.

The way they awkwardly stand too close and whisper to each other. Umm…what is going on here?

Jensen folds over laughing because of something Misha says. They are back. The tension is almost 90% gone now and they are in their element.

The chaos of recording the alarm ringtone for the fan was just great to watch. They kept getting closer and closer and I think they might have shared spit at that point. Gross….LOL

The way Misha is sitting is he you know.

Jensen asking Misha whether he was saying anything or just screaming while they were recording. I think he just wanted to see Misha smile.

Jensen’s joy when a fan mentions that they have Misha’s résumé.

Jensen saying the word shit made my day. I curse a lot and it made me feel validated somehow.

Misha calls him dickhead in return and Jensen stops functioning and laughs instead . He also gets all hot and bothered trying to fumble with the lapel of his shirt. He does this a lot when he is turned on. He has a humiliation kink I think.

They start talking over each other about Misha’s special skills. Looks like Jensen might have known beforehand because he went straight for that. Or maybe he didn’t know but he knew since Misha is a mad genius there must be some amazing things in there. Either way, it was a good moment.

OMG Jensen is so excited and the way he motions to Misha to bring that résumé to him, LOL. This man was thirsty AF.

He even goes down from the stage to meet Misha and invades his personal space trying to reach the résumé. I think this is the moment the tension between them dissipated completely and they were back to some form of normalcy.

Misha holding Jensen’s shoulder trying to get his résumé back. Unsucessfully, I should add.

They read something funny and they fold over laughing and spin around like overjoyed seals. It is far removed from the mollusk family but at least it’s still a sea creature (I don’t know what I’m saying please don’t mind me)

Jensen is still on his knees laughing and can’t get up. As I said, he is being too extra in this panel.

Misha is trying to talk but they both can’t stop laughing. I think Jensen laughed so hard he got an extra set of abs that day.

Jensen is still laughing and you know what he is laughing at? Misha’s special skills being acting on camera. I mean it’s funny but man, prayforjensen.

They are still laughing. Jack, help them.

The way Jensen looks at Misha with pure adoration here makes me so happy and reminds me of the fictional characters they played being all heart eyes for each other.

Misha laughed so hard he cried.

Jensen trying to read the next ‘special skill’ Misha has but he can’t even talk because of how funny he thinks it is. He’s trying so hard not to laugh but he can’t help himself.

Jensen agreeing and also asking the audience to agree that Misha has a knack for certain accents. Accent kink anyone?

Jensen is so excited when Misha starts Tibetan throating singing and does the unicorn laugh facing away from the crowd. Bet he has experienced Misha’s Tibetan throat singing skills on a personal when they are (loud overhead helicopter noises followed by thunder rumbling)

Jensen falling to the ground after feigning a heart attack once he saw that Misha is a certified EMT. I mentioned before that I honestly, 100% think he wanted mouth to mouth. There’s no other explanation. He could’ve feigned a nose bleed or just about any other illness but he chose to fall on a dirty floor and lay down so Misha could either give him the breath of life or straddle him. Luckily for him his dream came true 7 years later at Jib9 when straddle gate happened. But I digress

Too bad Misha was still mad at him and heartbroken so he kicked him instead.

Jensen knowing that Misha kayaks seems to be part of his personal knowledge. Maybe they did it together sometimes.

Horseback riding. Hmm is it just me or do they seem awkward here?

Misha is so close to Jensen’s armpits. Must be missing his man’s musk and being held in those muscular arms again. Poor baby.

Misha can’t talk because of how funny he finds bicycle touring. I mean…I don’t see what’s funny but I guess he knows why it’s funny.

Misha laughing and raises his legs because Jensen is elaborating on the bicycle touring. Maybe it’s an inside joke or maybe it’s no longer funny to me because I’ve watched this panel like 5 times.

I think Jensen’s goal was to see Misha laugh and be happy because he turned to look at Misha who was still laughing hard and the joy on Jensen’s face. Aww.

Misha gravitating towards his man again. He must smell really nice Misha. And those arms. Bet he used to lift you against the wall and (this fucking thunder won’t stop rambling. Are chuck and Amara fighting again?)

Jensen marketing his man’s carpentry skills but then makes sure to make it ‘no homo’ by saying he would never sit on anything Misha has built. Sure Jan. Then he circles back and says that he knows that he can build things.

Misha walks away from him and he looks up to make sure where he is going. Maybe he was afraid Misha was walking out on him. (PTSD from their breakup?)

They mention acting on camera again.

And laugh

Jensen keeps talking about the acting on camera and watches to see if Misha is still laughing He still is and Jensen is happy that his baby is happy. He looks at him again and he is still happy that Misha is still happy. Then once the laughter dies down he starts talking about bicycle touring and checks again to see if Misha is laughing which he is so Jensen throws his head back unicorn laughing and then looks at Misha again to see that he’s still laughing. Then they look at each other and say something maybe it’s about that was a good laugh. Jensen is wiping tears from his eyes because of how hard he laughed Misha does the same. That entire thing was insane and they seemed to love it.

Jensen starts saying that being this happy or goofing around is how they are on set sometimes and have to take a 5-10 minute break and Misha doesn’t seem too happy at the mention of the set.

Jensen knowing that you can buy résumés on eBay. Did he buy Misha’s and then plant someone in the audience to bring it up or? Okay, yeah I know I’m reaching here but it’s probable.

I guess my theory wasn’t farfetched because Jensen says that he’s pretty sure that Jarpad put it on eBay the previous night so maybe he is the one who did all that to win Misha back?

Jensen knows the appellation clogging is a stretch. Seems like Misha has told him about it before.

Jensen looking at his watch to see if they have time for Misha to be telling a story about his high school sweetheart and now wife. I bet he wishes Misha could tell their love story so openly. He can’t stop looking at Misha.

The way Jensen is looking at Misha here. WTF man? He’s literally confused about what the question is.

The personal space question. This whole thing was just so many things. It was awkward, cringey, thirsty, funny.

when the fan asks whether there’s a funny fact between Jensen and Misha. I almost fainted. What? And Jensen repeats it. The two men are so stoic. They are not even looking at each other. They are looking at the fan like the way a statue stares at you, unmoving. Cringe.

The room is so quiet. Poor girl, I hope she didn’t feel awkward afterwards because if it were me, I would’ve cried from how stoic they looked and how quiet everyone was.

How they both scratch themselves, Misha on the head and Jensen on the nose. Maybe the question hit too close to home

Jensen turns to look at Misha as if to say ’help me out here man. We don’t wanna disappoint our fans.”

Misha gets it because he gets up. This whole thing is gold.

The way Jensen breathes out in anticipation. I know it was like they were playing a skit about personal space but why was he breathing like that? Shouldn’t he have been playing it as ‘uncomfortable’ not ‘turned on.’ Boudoir mannerisms.

Moving on Misha is unsure on where to touch Jensen 40.31. This is weird in and of itself because usually, they don’t have a problem touching each other’s faces, tush, eggplants, (jib4 anyone), backs et cetera. But now it’s weird? *cough* breakup *cough*

Misha touches Jensen’s ear and Jensen literally moans. He frigging moans people. In case it is not clear in the video, here is an isolated audio version of it. Jensen is also fumbling with his shirt like he’s all hot and bothered. Just like Misha did earlier. Was Jib3 their couple’s therapy that reminded them how happy and horny they made each other?

Jensen is really not answering the question, to be honest. He’s fumbling for words and trying so very hard to make sense but his word are incoherent.

Misha going in for the nose dip. I know friends do this all the time but you have to be very close and familiar with someone such as a friend friend or a sibling for you to poke a finger in their nose. I mean noses are slimy and eww…anyway. That happened. They seem so comfortable with it. Jensen I love you but please stop talking.

The way Jensen looks at Misha. He has the cutest smile on his face as if saying thank you for making that fun and making me horny, I still want you.

Misha wiping his pinky that touched Jensen’s nose on his pants. (I wanted to add something disgusting about what heshould’ve done with that pinky but I won’t so let’s move on)

Jensen wiggling his nose.

When Misha suggests that Spn moves to Nickolodeon. Jensen laughs a bit too hard.

Misha talking about spn being a puppet show reminds me of how he mentioned them having a puppet show in Jensen’s backyard after the show is over.

Jensen also saying that in a way spn is a puppet show. I mean is someone making snide comments about how their strings get pulled and sometimes they are not happy about it. Like how they fired his boyfriend. It seems like it’s an inside joke.

They named the plushie Zippy aww :))

For jack’s sake guys, the way they look at each other when they mention that the résumé was the highlight of the panel.

Jensen saying the more dirt you dig up on Misha, the more rewarded you are. Aww, someone’s trying to win his man back by any means necessary. You go girl…I mean Jensen.

He talks more about how he’s looking forward to next year when fans have more dirt on his friend Misha. Jensen didn’t want to leave the stage, he was lingering so he could spend more time with Misha.

It’s over guys.

Closing Ceremony

I know you didn’t ask for the closing ceremony but here you go. It’s a free gift.

Can I just mention how Jarpad is an overactive puppy? He has to play with anything and everything he finds.

The mc announces Misha twice for some reason. The second time Jensen looks in Misha’s direction with a small smile on his face. He [Jensen] is also chewing vigorously.

Jensen and Jarpad being typical dude bros and karate chop Rich. This is why the difference between his relationship with Jarpad and Misha stands out. He would be too busy making heart eyes to Misha to kick another guy. LoL.

Jensen hulking out when Jarpad is taking a video of everyone. Lol. This video keeps reiterating my point that his relationship with the two men is just different.

Jensen keeps looking in Misha’s direction, Misha who is busy talking to Steve and having fun. Let me also mention Steve is Jensen’s bestie and so are Jarpad and Misha, but I’m sure that Jensen felt some type of way, jealous when they were having so much fun with his man and he couldn’t. Jarpad also takes a while filming Misha for Jensen of course. They remind me of me having a crush back when I was in school. Wait, did Misha look at Jensen? It’s hard to see because the angle of the video is not expansive but I guess he was.

As soon as Jarpad gets back, Jensen takes the camera from him and starts filming fans. I’m sure he just wanted Misha to look at him

Rich mention’s Misha and something about acting on camera and Jensen licks his lips looking at Misha (I think).

Jensen then vigorously grabs the microphone from someone immediately and mention’s Misha. Jarpad’s reaction at that moment tells you everything you need to know about what’s going on between Jensen and Misha. It looks like he is pleading with Jensen in his head saying, “Don’t embarrass yourself bro. Please don’t” but it’s too late.

Jensen again talks about Misha’s résumé and specifically about acting on camera, the thing that made Misha laugh out loud during their panel. Someone’s smitten. Defending his ex-man.

Jarpad goes to whisper something to Misha. And they laugh while Jensen is thanking the jib staff for doing an amazing job. But when he sees the duo laughing, he loses track of thought and says “and they are all getting married” dude what ??? How do you go from thanking people who worked on the convention and in .1 seconds you are talking about they are all getting married? Who is? Are you okay? Do you need to sit down? No one gets it, he says he’s kidding and gives Jarpad the microphone, spares a glance at Misha and he seems distraught from that moment on. I wish I could see Misha’s face through all this.

He’s glancing in Misha’s direction again. Man’s got it bad. What?! Oh to be loved by Jensen Ackles. Misha must be a prize, I know he is a mad genius and gorgeous and sexy as hell with that golden skin that looks like it was dipped in gold and honey, big blue eyes that are bluer than the bluest blue, but Jensen wtf man? You are in public.

I think Jarpad is telling Jensen something maybe it has to do with what he and Misha were talking about earlier?

And it’s over people.

Overall, I agree with the breakup theory. I mean the way these two were acting around each other was very strange. If you watch Misha and Jarpad, they seem okay from the opening ceremony up till the end but Jensen and Misha are just being weird.

The panel was mostly fun but their body language told a story that something was definitely going on between them.

@littlewolf2703

#jib3 #jibcon 2012 #jib3 analysis #jib3 cockles panel #cockles #this was a doozy #glad to be done #there was a lot going on in that panel #cockles break up #cockles break up theory

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olderthannetfic · 3 years

Text

Ah, I do see your points, anon. I'm not going to post all your asks publicly because if you really feel that unsafe, it's probably best not to have a bigass chunk of your text for people to analyze and try to guess your identity from. I think one of the best points you made is about how close to home it hits when the non-fave is not only your fave but is similar to you in some way like demographic. You're not wrong for having those emotions. I do wonder if they make it hard to see how some other people feel similarly embattled on other axes.

TBH, I think one of the big problems here is that the large aggregate patterns you're talking about are racist, but most individual fics and fans are not really the problem. It's hard to know how to talk about this or who to tell to "fix" it when we're looking at free, hobbyist art.

A lot of people's tastes are certainly formed by shitty society, but once they're formed, they don't change fast if at all. Asking someone to rewrite their libido is a big ask, yet tumblr does it all the time as though it's as simple as snapping your fingers.

This leaves me with the sense that a lot of tumblr is... like... the political lesbians of porn fic or something: desire is not real, only choosing based on logic and politics. Or maybe people are so asexual that they just don't understand the lizard brain's "YES!" at some porn things and complete indifference to others?

I don't think it's great if great swaths of people feel like bottom!Nicky is super hot and top!Nicky fundamentally isn't, but I also don't think they can necessarily just turn it off like flipping a switch.

(If someone reading this doesn't like their current tastes and wants to attempt to alter them, I do think it's possible. What you should do is line up a large slate of media that prominently features characters of the ethnicity or whatever that you don't find hot/interesting. These should be leads whose emotional development drives the plot and is supposed to be central to the audience's enjoyment of the media. Watch/read/etc. this media all the time. All. The. Time. Try out many pieces because you won't like every character or every show, and we're looking for genuine enjoyment, not the fandom equivalent of a pity fuck. Spend enough time on this, and your unconscious sense of who's hot and interesting will eventually shift somewhat. This is a project you should expect to take a few years.)

But I digress.

The one tweet thing is a very toxic pattern. If TOG fandom is doing that, guys, please try to be more conscious of holding the actors of color to a higher standard (or the women or whomever). I know this often comes from a place of paying more attention to our own and wanting to set a good standard, but the effect is that minorities can't fuck up ever while white dudes get infinite passes.

Okay, on to the fic thing... Gotta say, my instant reaction to that description is "Ooh!"--as it would be for the same scenario with the characters reversed. (Ships who start out trying to kill each other are my favorite! x1000 if they're resurrecting style immortals and they literally do.) I can see how it would feel like slamming into a brick wall if you aren't kinky in just the right way and you didn't know it was coming though.

Part of why I react so strongly to a lot of discourse that runs along these lines is that I am a naturally extremely kinky person. It's not so much about what I do (which as a deeply lazy person in a long distance relationship is essentially nothing), but it's absolutely how I'm wired.

And I can tell you that my quotidian experience in fandom is sharing something I don't even realize is a big deal only to have someone I like, respect, and trust react in horror and tell me that it's triggering and awful and should not be allowed in fandom spaces because it makes "people" unsafe. It's such an instant, kneejerk reaction they don't even realize I was sharing it because it spoke to the very core of me. Lesson learned, friend. Lesson learned.

That sounds a bit off topic, I know, but bear with me: The point of that anecdote is that it's pretty common for me to get people trying to raise my awareness of things I have already thought deeply about while denying my essential humanity and not even realizing. As a kinky person who likes to make my fave the top (and generally a conflicted sadist), this constant request to explain and justify is exhausting.

I doubt most of the top!Joe fans have this precise problem simply because people who make their fave the top are much less common in fandom than people who make their fave the bottom, but I see a similar pattern with fans who are just fundamentally wired for rape fantasies (one of the most common fantasies that exists) vs. fans who just don't get rape fantasies at all. Or substitute your BDSM/kinky/messed up fantasy trope of choice. Covertly radical feminist attitudes towards kink and power are on the rise in fandom, and as a naturally kinky person, boy do I notice it!

I know that it feels like crucial activism to share these insights about why the ratio of top!Joe is hurtful, and the pain you feel is real. But it's also the case that it's a big ask to want people to listen. (Not me. Obviously, I routinely choose to engage with discourse. I mean overall.) The reason for that is that you're only seeing a fraction of what they do or who they are, and you don't know how many previous people they've listened to how many previous times. It's a very different situation from someone whose job is making some major TV series or movie or something. That person does, in my opinion, owe you some amount of listening.

Now, I'm not saying no top Joe fan was ever a jerk. I'll bet they were. There's a tendency to be rude and to publicly air your schadenfreude when you feel like everyone has been yelling at you. What I am saying is that a lot of the problem here boils down to conflicting needs, and that means there isn't a good solution. It's a situation where people are genuinely hurt, but I don't necessarily agree that other people have harmed them.

I like that you did an actual count of the explicit fics, btw. It's good to look at the real numbers. I see too little of that in these situations. My off the cuff reaction is that 2/3 to 1/3 is not a bad ratio at all compared to many fandoms, but yeah, it definitely shows a strong trend, and that can be painful. (I have a fandom where I think there's maybe like 1 bottom so-and-so fic in the entire zine era fandom. One. It's pretty extreme.)

I guess my thinking here overall is: What is the practical solution? What are we hoping to gain? What is reasonable to ask of people?

And it can't be "Well, if they would just listen..." That's just a sneaky way of saying "If you haven't done it my way, it's because you haven't listened to me yet."

So the question I would ask of people is this:

What does a non-racist fic where Joe tops look like?

What does a non-racist sex pollen, dubcon, or even noncon fic where Joe tops look like?

And if you say the latter is impossible... well... sadists exist everywhere in the world. So do doms. So do people who prefer to top in a purely physical sense. People with rape fantasies where they're the rapist exist (people who are not actually rapists, I mean). None of this is restricted to any one group. We can't categorically say fic like that about Joe is coming from a place of racism without denying the fundamental humanity of kinky MENA people who'd want to make Joe like themselves or like their ideal partner. (Yes, I agree this won't be the majority of fic writers writing top!Joe, but this is a place to start for figuring out what the better version would look like.)

IDK, maybe you're that kinkster yourself, but your asks gave me the vibe that you don't really get the drive towards those darker kinds of fics and what might be motivating it besides stereotypes and shittiness.

If we can answer these kinds of questions, we can better critique the way people write what they write without telling them all of their taste is bad and they should just stop writing. Even if we think the latter is true, it isn't going to get us anywhere. Figuring out how to make Joe more multidimensional in the fic they already want to write or finding very specific wording that should be avoided might actually work.

Beyond that, the actions I think are productive would be running prompt fests, exchanges, or other events for bottom!Joe or for top!Joe where he's the main character and the fics are required to be from his POV. Themed collections and recs lists are great. (I've seen a bit of this going around in TOG fandom in the past, and that's an excellent approach! Keep it up!) Positive actions tend to work better here. Make more of what you want. Promote what you want to see.

I don't mean this in some fluffy magical thinking way: you aren't going to change that ratio radically just by the power of positivity. But I've seen this kind of thing play out in many, many fandoms, and going after the people who write what you don't like, even in a well-intentioned effort to educate and even in a polite, kind way doesn't do much. A few people feel guilty. A few feel defensive. A lot ignore you. The overall fic doesn't change. It's not a good use of your limited time and energy.

I'm off to look up that fic to see what I think of it in practice, but I'm going to post this before tumblr manages to eat it.

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amerrierworld · 3 years

Text

The World is Changing

for the request: more nsfw galadriel/reader content? 👀

Summary: Galadriel travels to your world with you. And you introduce her to sex toys.

Characters: Galadriel x you

Word Count: 1,586

Warnings: SMUT. vibrators :) modern AU I guess? welcome to the sin bin

“That’s a microwave.”

“Fascinating.”

You snorted. Galadriel roamed about your home, touching and prodding unusual gadgets and unfamiliar items.

She had jumped at the chance to come to Earth with you. Being one of the oldest beings in Middle Earth, there were few things that surprised her there, but here, amidst technology and modern culture, there were plenty of new experiences waiting.

She was wearing loose-fitted jeans that hung a little low on her hips. And when she reached up to one of your higher shelves, the knit sweater she had on rode up, revealing more gorgeous pale skin.

You salivated a little at the sight, but forced yourself back to the task at hand; making a decent meal for the both of you.

Her hair shimmered in the light of the setting sun. You offered her something to drink; she wanted to try one of those fizzy cans she’d seen you drink before.

Despite the childlike curiosity in her eyes, her body and demeanour still commanded nobility and respect like the Queen that she was. That quickly disappeared when she belched louder than you ever had, because of her idea to chug the sugary soda.

Dinner was grilled cheese, because you didn't feel like being original today, and you sat on the couch, eating, drinking, chatting.

“Don’t you wish you’d gone to Valinor instead?” you asked her. “I mean, the Undying Lands, any place with a name like that sounds better than a world named after dirt.”

She chuckled, “one day I will. All Elves are destined to travel there. Our time in the mortal world always comes to an eventual close.”

Shuffling closer, she pulled your plate away and brushed her nose against your jaw,

“But I wanted to experience something different before the end of all things. And you, meleth-nin, proved to be the most breath-taking change I could have hoped for.”

You squeaked as her lips sucked on a spot beneath your ear. She had a thing for ears.. maybe all Elves did. You couldn’t really think about it much as her malicious tongue swiped over your damp skin, making you shiver.

She pushed some pillows off the couch to make more room for her long legs as she swung one over yours to straddle your lap. Your hands immediately roved over her ass, tight under the denim of her jeans. She squirmed a little in your hard grip, and kissed you on the mouth.

Your hips were starting to buck up, frustrated by the limitation of the clothes you were wearing. She gasped as you pushed up under her sweater, cupping her breasts- you had not yet introduced her to bras, mostly for the convenience of easy access when needed. Like right now.

You pulled your mouth away and trailed your lips down her neck, worrying your teeth along the column. Her body started rocking familiarly and your fingers tugged at her nipples.

“Fuck!”

Your body burst into flames. Galadriel barely ever swore, usually it was just you, but when she did, it was like an instant aphrodisiac.

Pulling away and tugging her sweater down, you held her ass firmly, making your eyes lock and you breathed,

“Bed.”

She was off your lap in a flash, her body thrumming with lust. You were nearly pulled off of your feet when she grabbed your hands and led you to the bedroom. Despite her slender figure, you were reminded of how strong she was, of the battles she had fought, and how somehow in some strange stroke of luck, this immortal Queen now desired you.

You successfully made it to the bedroom. She immediately wanted you naked, wanted to devour you, but you stopped her.

“Take off your pants, and lay on the bed.”

She seemed startled by your command, but did as you asked. She pulled her hair out from the high pony tail she had been wearing, letting the long locks tumble down her shoulders, on the pillows.

You returned with one of your favourite things to use in bed; a small, but extremely powerful vibrator. Her eyebrows furrowed at the strange shape and smooth texture as you showed her.

“This is a vibrator,” you showed her. “Do you wanna try it out?”

“Does it hurt?”

“No, but it may be a little intense the first time. I can show you, if you’d like. I’ll be gentle.”

Her breath hitched as you turned on the toy, the room filling with the low hum of the vibration.

“And- where do you...”

“Wherever you want,” you replied sweetly. You pressed it to the side of her knee, and her jaw dropped a bit. Her legs fell open, giving you a clear view of the white panties you’d gotten her to wear.

“If you wanna wear the jeans, please for the love of God wear underwear,” you had begged her, “that material is far too rough. You don’t want to chafe, I swear.”

Now you were exceptionally glad with your persuasion for her choice of wardrobe today, because her pale legs, her underwear barely showing, and the lovely soft sweater over her torso made her too beautiful for words.

“There’s plenty of other toys we can try, later,” you kept talking, pushing the vibe higher, pressing against the sensitive inside of her thighs. Her muscles tensed and her breathing sped up.

“Y-yes,” she agreed, trying to maintain some sense of dignity as her resolve crumbled, “I-I think this will be sufficient for now.”

You grinned, flashing a smile at her which she weakly returned, and you took the opportunity to run it along the edge of her underwear, close to her clit, but not close enough.

The whine you received was like music.

“Th-thousands of years I’ve lived- a-and I’ve never-,” she choked out, hands scrabbling for purchase at the sheets underneath her heaving body. You avoided direct contact with her skin or her clit, wondering if you’d make her black out with how sensitively she was reacting to the toy.

“This isn’t even the highest setting, baby,” you grinned, running it in slow circles over the hood of her clit. The panties she was wearing were soaked.

“T-turn it up higher,” she demanded.

You paused. The only sounds were Galadriel’s gasps and the sound of the toy.

“Are you sure?”

She pulled you closer by the back of your neck, mouth wide as she kissed you and devoured you, tongue licking into you.

“Yes.”

You did as she asked, your own mind swimming with arousal, and her body began to tense, her gasps and groans going higher and higher in pitch as she neared orgasm.

Knowing she was close, you reached down with your other hand, pushed aside the panties enough for your fingers to slip through. You pressed inside, curled up and rubbed in that rough, delicious spot inside of her that made her scream, which she did.

Her body convulsed under your touch, thighs shaking as you held her down. One arm thrown over her face, gasping into the crook of her elbow.

The Lady was sweating, her figure glimmering with a delicious sheen. You smiled wickedly as you tugged her arm away, revealing flushed cheeks and blown eyes.

She pulled at your grip, wanting to hide her disheveled state, but you didn’t let her go, instead leaning forward and kissing her over and over.

“Don’t pass out, please?” you begged her, watching her hooded eyes, “there's loads of other things we could try.”

“I don’t think I can handle any more of your world’s advancements,” she groaned, making you smile.

“Then let me treat you with something a little more.. old-fashioned.”

You tugged her underwear off before she could protest, and nestled your face into her dripping cunt, licking up all of her juices and revelling in how sweet she smelled.

“O-oh, oh my,” she cried out, hands grabbing your hair as you feasted.

You knew her libido was relentless; she’d pounced on you one or two times in a way that made it clear she could be very sex-driven. So you pushed her to a second and third orgasm with ease, feeling her go limp and boneless by the time you finally finished licking her clean.

She was still wearing that adorable sweater, her long hair fanned out over your pillows, one leg pushed out far enough to dangle off of the edge of the bed.

She said something Elvish under her breath, body arching and trembling in the aftershocks. You urged her to sit up, tugged off the sweater, and she attacked your face with kisses, muttering sweet nothings, half of which you couldn’t understand.

Your body melted at her words nonetheless, filled with love and desire, and she never seemed to stop kissing you,

“I may be the luckiest Elf alive,” she sighed, “who else has ever experienced such pleasure?”

Her words made you grin, because to you it was a simple, effective toy, but to her it was another world, another life entirely, something new and exciting. And you got to be the one to give it to her. The thought made your head spin.

You were sitting on the bed and she had crawled into your lap again, dipping her head low to kiss you, and her body began rocking against your thigh, signalling her need for more.

“Again?” you asked, turning up the vibe once more, and her eyes shone with mischief. She nodded, and you knew sleep was still a long way off for you.

A/N: this is basically like, polar opposite of my Hela/reader style of writing, and I don’t mind one bit :D hope u liked it my loves! wasn’t there something where CB had said Elves don’t wear underwear? Yeah I agree taglist: @the-obscurity

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