in the middle of reading the new wind excerpt and god. oh my god. someone sedate me

Pale Live Read Part 3. Stolen Away

After like 10 days I’m finally posting this! The arc was great I just got distracted and didn’t start reading it until a couple days ago, then it turned out I had a lot of thoughts. Once again  warning for heavy Pact spoilers since my thoughts are heavily influenced by reading it before this.

Greg isn't in their class anymore and no one seems to remember him. So presumably the choir severed his connections to everyone not at the ritual location. Very Urr adjacent feeling. This is definitely something I can see being listed alongside Corvidae as an Other people assumed was a demon at first. I'm 99% sure it's not though. It seems to lack the ambient corrupting effect they have.

The fact that Lucy used to blame herself for all the problems in her life but now chooses to get angry and do something about it is interesting to me. I'd argue that it's honestly healthier to get mad like that than to wallow in self loathing like Avery does. Lucy is giving off very much an "if there can be no victory then I will fight forever", or even an  "I had to try" vibe if we want to tie it into a certain other web serial. 

Verona's dad continues to be the worst. Acting like that because your daughter forgot and didn't get you a birthday gift is just beyond my comprehension. Like I get he's got his own issues but Jesus christ, he needs to put on a brave face and do what has to be done for his daughter's sake. This is like peak parentification.

On a much lighter note I love these girls' friendship. It's so nice to read a Wildbow story where the central characters like each other and aren't constantly destroying every relationship in their life.

They used to do a similar fake nation project at my school in geography class. Not really relevant to anything but I thought that was neat.

I really like Reagan. Hopefully she doesn't get killed or worse by the Choir, and I doubt she's Innocent anymore, so it might be interesting (and not too karmically costly) for the girls to send her in the direction of the magic school Miss mentioned. She'd make a good practitioner I think. 

Okay now Lucy is distrusting Verona because she's talking to Miss on her own. This is closer to the Wildbow protags I'm used to lol.

They're going to see the faerie! I'm sure this will end well for them. In all seriousness though, after The Girl in the Checkered Scarf's interlude from Pact I'm a bit nervous about long term consequences. If anyone can weasel out of the oath at the awakening ceremony it's probably a faerie. 

Just noticed the name of this arc which makes going to see Faeries even more ominous.

I know I just talked about them being dangerous but Marcica and Guilherme are delightful. The exiled faerie of Jacob's Bell were obviously a little menacing, but the two in Kennet have a great little Odd Couple dynamic going on here that makes them seem less threatening. That just makes them more dangerous though.

Marcica is being more generous than I'm comfortable with. The gifts are uh, of varying quality levels but it's still a lot. Verona's is especially worrying given she already wants to become something other than human.

Alpeana lives with the two fae? I desperately need a version of Pale that's just a sitcom about these three being roommates.

Marcica's interaction with Avery here, teaching her to use glamor, is actually a very nice moment. Her sharing her thoughts on gender and expression while basically doing Avery's makeup really feels very intimate. We know there's a trick here, but I can't fault Avery for falling for it. The way Marcica advises her to just go with what happens and work with instead of against the glamor also explains why her court loses the least to Winter. Presumably immortality is less miserable if you're willing to play along and just accept things.

I don't know if I like what Avery is doing with Pam here. She's like 12 so I get that these things have not occurred to her but it's a little creepy, and the kind of thing that could come with long term consequences. Pamela already has a bunch of self esteem issues and I can easily see her questioning the "why" here as time goes on.

Lucy maintaining her appearance out of spite feels like something that could easily become super self destructive. I also feel the need to point out that it's not actually that different from if she went the route Avery is and blamed herself. In that case it would be her fault she was ranked last, and so she has to try harder to be likable and attractive. Instead she decides to say fuck them (which I again think is a good idea), but she still ends up trying to improve her appearance to prove them wrong. It's the same end result, just different justifications! I don't think Lucy has let go of who she used to be as much as she likes to think she has. 

Her family dynamic is really interesting too. Aunt Heather gets introduced and I actually like her a lot. Of the three girls she seems to have the best home life but that says more about how bad their situations are than anything about Lucy's. I really want this to work out but I'm not optimistic about the chances. I'm even less optimistic about whatever went down with this Paul guy. Presumably he's the reason Lucy's mom was so devastated that one night.

Okay I know they saw a classmate maybe die, and John pulled a gun on them but so far these girls have had it pretty easy when it comes to dealing with the practice. Because of that I think it's easy for Avery and Verona to not realize the risks they're taking, or that this relative safety won't always be guaranteed. Lucy seems to understand a little better in terms of the harm the Faerie might do to Pamela, but doesn't seem to put together that one of them pretending to be Kell would also turn Avery saying "you won't see this face around here again" into a lie. Right now the Others of Kennet can't hurt them directly, but none of them, not even Lucy seem to realize what they're messing with, or that the training wheels are still on. Just compare their uses of glamor to Blake's. Verona turned into a mink and snuggled, and Avery had a weird pseudo date. Blake broke into the house of a rival family in order to stop a ritual targeting him and barely managed to get out by disguising himself as a child and working around the no lying rule in clever ways after he stopped them by calling 911 instead of using Practice. Both of these are very early in the story and really demonstrate how disconnected the girls are from the very real danger Others and Practitioners can bring. 

That was a long tangent but uh suffice it to say that Lucy is right about Avery and Verona needing to think more. Lucy may honestly be underselling it a little by accident (not that that would be her fault). 

Lucy is absolutely not over blaming herself after seeing this conversation with Paul. It's heart wrenching to see her like this, and even worse when you realize how long she's had to hold onto all of this. The worst part though is that seemingly all of what she said was true, or true enough for the spirits at least. I sincerely hope Paul gets hit hard by that curse.

Ms Hardy is weird. Maybe this is a cultural thing but her not wanting to talk privately with Avery because that would be crossing a personal boundary is more than a little ridiculous. Like you as a middle school teacher are there to help your students learn and grow during one of the most complicated times in their lives, and a student privately asking you for advice about something is in no way a violation of your professional ethics. If you personally don't feel comfortable engaging with kids one on one when they have issues then you should have a different job. Honestly, bringing up the possibility of having another teacher, or even worse, other students (especially when you already know their home life is not great and they have a history of being ignored and emotionally neglected) is far more of a potential violation of the trust put in you. I've just gotten more fired up as I wrote this section so honestly I'd like to formally say fuck Ms Harding. Is this a common opinion? Or am I going to start disc horse by saying this?

Sheridan and Avery's conversation was nice. It really captured a certain type of small town ennui, and the odd sorts of relationships between siblings who have a decently significant age gap. 

And the trend of humans being awful continues with yet another appearance by Verona's dad. Him just knocking three times to summon her, and especially when he started talking about his anniversary and Verona's mom not wanting to have sex or even get a massage is so sad, but in the way that triggers your disgust reaction when you see it, which is something that happens a lot in real life but not in fiction. Misery is frequently gross and ugly, and that's not necessarily any kind of failing of the immiserated (though it is in this specific case). I feel the need to clarify bc this is tumblr which notably has excellent reading comprehension as a user base.

Very funny to see Verona ask Avery about what she wants her life to look like in twenty years. It makes me think back to Pact when Rose said "I don't think anyone is pretending Blake is long for this world" to which Blake's only objection was "I'm pretending!" Like these two stories and sets of protagonists are so different, and so are their situations. I hope the girls manage to make it out if this and live full happy lives without losing too much in the process, but my impression of the Otherverse from both Pact and Pactdice is that there's not a great chance it happens. 

Return of the queen! Alpeana is back again! Someone asked on the last post who my favorite Other in the story was and my response was tentatively Alpeana, but I can now more confidently say that her, Marcica, and Guilherme are all up there as current favorites. 

The Ruins are neat! As someone with a love of decomposers I can't help but enjoy learning they break down things like Echoes similarly to how the Abyss broke down more physical things. It does make me wonder if there was some sort of argument about Blake though. He existed as a physical person, but he was also a vestige. I feel like it would make sense for him to go to either so I'm curious how it worked out. We do see it raining in the Ruins and the part of the Abyss Blake landed in was The Drains. Those are both watery in theming, maybe the Drains is the part of the abyss closest to the Abyss. Runoff from the Drains falls down into the Ruins as rain or something like that? It would even make sense if we assume that once the Abyss was finished grinding down the person Blake that the spirit/vestige-y bits would go down the drain into the Ruins so it can be fully decomposed.

I love Lucy shooting the eye here and the detail that it would likely sting or blind one of the spying practitioner's eyes. It's a very cool moment and oddly enough, almost the exact same thing happens in a surprisingly excellent middle grade book called The Candy Shop Wars, which is about a group of kids recruited by an elderly candy making witch who's super shady to be her minions. I wonder if Wildbow read it and this is a reference, or just a fun little coincidence.

Collette is probably going to be hurting for a while. This eye stealing Other seems pretty nasty, and I imagine that eyes and more broadly Sight is pretty important for an augur. That's of course assuming Guilherme doesn't do something worse which is a possibility. I'd much rather have to deal with even a bounced back eye monster than a Faerie. 

Cherry is kind of cute. I'd say she needs more confidence but encouraging a goblin to be confident seems liable to end poorly for all involved..

Munch's honesty about targeting bad people not actually making goblins "good" is refreshing in its honesty. I love the faerie in this and Miss is great but it always feels like they're the ones pulling the strings. Also, the goblin queen he mentions here is the same one from Maggie's interlude right? Like it's the  blood and darkness one for sure.

These goblins having to adhere to pg 13 language is incredible and I love it.

So the Carmine Beast was there when John killed Yalda, which I don't think we knew, and it actually helped pick its own potential successor which is interesting. Did the Carmine Beast know all the way back then that it would be dying soon? ("Soon" relative to the timescale Others work on at least). Does Yalda's death indirectly lead to the Carmine Beast being gone? Like my understanding is that Black Dogs like her cause lots of sickness and curses to the people who are responsible for hurting them. If John killed Yalda on the orders of the Carmine and other judges would part of the curse transfer to them? I don't think she would be strong enough for her curse to actually like kill the Carmine Beast, but it could have weakened them and made it easier for someone else to do it. 

It seems like somehow Edith knew that the Carmine was gone before Munch came to tell her. How? We haven't seen a lot of her and Matthew since the beginning of arc 1, which makes me suspicious that Wildbow might be keeping them in the background for now only to reveal that they played some big role in the death of the Carmine Beast later on. Those two (especially Matthew) do seem to be the ones with the most knowledge of the Practice… (Other than maybe Miss who I don't believe was knowingly involved)

Verona laughing and giving the goblins the finger after they tell her she needs to be rude when saying goodbye to them is just such a fun moment. Seeing characters interact almost casually with Others is strangely heartwarming. (Even if that interaction is flipping off goblins)

I feel like I get Verona a lot more now. Hearing her talk about the existential dread of going to highschool and college just so you can get a job you hate and take on massive debt, and (if you get lucky) stumble into a strained relationship that's likely to end in disaster. 

Lucy has an affinity for slasher movies! She also has rules about them being fair. At first I thought "oh if she likes these kinds of movies maybe she'll try working with bogeymen", which would fit with her being the one who likes curses and more violent magic. As she kept watching though we got our explanation of her very Hammurabi-adjacent system of fairness. When I think back, yeah she's interested in curses and such,but generally it's been to punish them for something specific. Maybe she and Paige should hang out and Lucy could become a law mage meting out punishment to those who transgress. 

I'm really invested in Lucy's family dynamic at this point. I want it to all work out for them. Everyone involved is trying their best to keep it together and take care of each other, but it's hard! It shouldn't have to be hard, but it is, and for reasons mostly out of this family's direct control.

We're discussing familiars again. This time in the context of Avery bringing one to the trails with her. She brings up my bestie Alpeana, but I don't think she'll actually pick the mare to be her familiar. I do kind of hope one of the other girls does though. No matter what, I think we're getting close to the first Essentials ritual and it's going to be one of the girls (probably Avery) taking a familiar.

Miss is Lost. Neat. I don't feel like I know enough about that to say anything insightful yet, but I'm interested in hearing more about her time wandering the Paths. She made it through the Forest Ribbon Trail by instinct alone which is incredible, and she's constantly avoiding being slotted into a ritual or something by the universe. We already knew Miss was knowledgeable and I assumed she had a decent amount of skill using whatever abilities she has, but this makes her seem like she's on a whole other level compared to most Others we've seen in Kennet and Jacob's Bell. 

Snowdrop is a delight. I love this angry possum. She hates Avery so much and it's a lot of fun. She's also giving lots of seemingly bad advice. Is the trail different than usual somehow? Like can the Belanger's mess up the ritual somehow? Or did the girls just screw up?

The basket being hidden like that is a real dick move by the trail. Also, I don't know what's going on here! The giant babydoll head or whatever is freaky, and it doesn't seem to be talking. I'm not sure  if that's a blessing or curse in this situation. Tattoo guy and the lady holding the opossum are both kind of weird too, then there's just a guy. Tbf though him just being some guy probably makes him the weirdest one in this context. 

Changed my mind, the opossum lady is the creepiest Lost here right now. She asked "don't you want a boon companion who can't lie?" So that's seemingly confirmation that Snowdrop can lie, which we could kind of assume already but still. 

Holy shit the cat skull was even meaner than the basket. This trail fucking hates her. Doing the opposite of what Snowdrop says seems to be working though. Is that the possum trick? Not just being able to lie, but always giving the worst advice possible?

The doll head is Nicolette! All of a sudden everything has gone wrong. Snowdrop has been snatched by the Belangers, and Avery somehow messed up negotiations. I'm beginning to think picking an old wolf was a mistake. A younger one might have been faster, but it being less cunning seems more important.

The comic is ominous, but I'm not totally sure what's going on in it. The branch with no ribbon is gone. Is the wolf trying to keep Avery from finding the detour?

Nicolette interlude! It seems obvious in retrospect but I didn't see it coming.

The Belanger Circle seems like a real boys' club, which I think was a smart decision on Wildbow's part. It instantly makes me a lot more sympathetic towards Nicolette. Like I'm now completely on her side when a paragraph ago she was the trio's first real enemy.

Is the whole church Alexander's demesne? That's impressive if so. Even a large room invites quite a few challenges based on everything we saw in Pact. It doesn't quite fit with the vibe I'm getting though. So far Alexander reminds me more of Duncan Behaim. That's to say he doesn't seem like a particularly good practitioner, more like the kind of person who's powerful chiefly because of the clout the Belanger name gives him, or the amount of people he has dirt on. He feels like every rich failson I've ever seen.

Chase comes from a practitioner family other than the Belanger Circle which is interesting. Fits with my idea that Alexander relies on relationships with other practitioners for influence. Chase's motive for picking Nicolette is really gross, but also Wildbow be normal about fat people challenge. 

So the eye thief Other was a collector. Interesting. It didn't seem to have anything other than the necklace on it so I wouldn't have guessed that was the case. It certainly did a number on Nicolette even without items. 

Nicolette's parents are officially joining the ranks of Verona's father, Carol Dallon, Heartbreaker, and most of the Thorburn line as "just the worst parents a kid could ask for".

The Hallow in her head is scary! It could cause a lot of problems down the road if she ever slips up even a little.

Fuck this Belanger Circle nonsense. I think Nicolette should be allowed to beat them all up. The way they talk to her is so skeevy it just makes my skin crawl. Alexander is the worst one though. He's doing the thing where he acts nice and protective but we also know that he wants the exact same thing Seth, Tanner, and Chase do. Maybe even worse depending on who he'd marry her off to if not himself. This makes the Duchamp Coven feel feminist. 

I need Seth to get his shit wrecked. I need all of the Belanger Circle to get broken and brought low. Someone get Pauz in here. I know that would be giving demon's ground but I think it would be satisfying enough that it's worth it. In the meantime though at least the Omens she set on him will cause some problems.

No wonder Nicolette seems so well disciplined for a relatively new Practitioner. She had to strictly set rituals for herself to claw back sanity from the spirits in her Hallow before she even knew things like that actually existed. She's had to struggle for every scrap of power she has and it shows.

Miss is managing to stay out of sight of the augurs which is a big relief. Also very funny that the animal masks are throwing the Belanger's off like this. I wonder if that was why the Kennet Others had them do their awakening ritual like that in the first place. 

Alexander was the one who got Charles forsworn apparently, which also means Alexander supports the private prison industry. Yet another reason this guy is cringe.

I know I've been taking Nicolette's side a lot in this interlude but like come on. They warned you to back off! You tried to mess with them and now you've been seriously messed up by the nettlewisp. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. I only wish this didn't give Alexander more points on her.

Even though Alexander was friends with Charles he doesn't seem to know much about Kennet and the truth of its "patron".

Now the Belangers have Snowdrop and are trying to interrogate her, but they don't understand her gimmick. I think I know how this is going to turn out and I'm very eager to see it, especially now that Alexander has left. 

"You'll stay put and won't touch anything and be good?" "Yes. Absolutely." I love this God damn possum. She's skyrocketed past Alpeana, Marcica, and Guilherme to become my favorite Other in the story so far. 

Holy shit. Snowdrop just destroyed Nicolette's whole life if she can't catch her and fix the destruction. On the one hand go Snowdrop, but on the other I'm absolutely terrified of what this could mean for Nicolette.

Looking at the comments apparently a lot of people hated Nicolette? This is weird to me, but I'm also a big fan of Rose in Pact so I shouldn't be too surprised to find out my thoughts on a character like this are more positive than a lot of readers'. 

I loved this arc. So much happened in it, (especially towards the end) that I almost forgot some of the earlier chapters were part of the same arc, but that’s not a bad thing. It only makes it hard for me to summarize my thoughts here at the end. Lots of cool character building going on here as always. Avery, Lucy, and Verona are all great, and it’ll be interesting to see how they rank compared to Blake and Taylor by the end of this. Uhh, it was nice to meet more of the Others around town since we hadn’t got to see much of them, and I’m curious to see how the girls react to now having to deal with the Hungry Choir and the Belangers at the same time. That’s about it for my thoughts, but I do notice these seem to be getting longer so I may switch to doing one of these for each half of an arc. Let me know what you think of that though.

Frenzied Swap AU—

I do think other Hisuian variants could assist? Not noble, but big enough to help. Specifically since we never saw Iscan’s partner pokemon, I would headcanon it’s a Hisuian Quilfish. Not a battler by any stretch, but can act as a floatation device or inflate into a platform while fighting Basculegion, though it’s easy to be knocked off of. I also think the fight should be in Sand’s Reach, because the long skinny “fingers” would give a good balance of land and water to operate in.

Characterwise, this also gives a good story for the region Wardens! Iscan and Basculegion saved Palina and the Growlithe when the last lord died, and now the Pearl warden and Noble would be determined to help him and return the favor even if both are “failures” at their roles. The plot could even involve having to get to Firespit Island at low tide with Growlithe so it can evolve while Basculegion attacks, (making it a time sensitive race before the tide rises).

Meanwhile Iscan has always been afraid of ghosts, but this incident makes him almost lose his confidence in his ability as Basculegion’s warden. At one point the Protag has to go find him and convince him to loan them Quilfish, and he’s hiding in Turnback Cave, saying turning back is all a coward can do. Palina shows up with the newly evolved Lord and asks him to be the brave man who saved her once, and basically convinces him to stand up for himself and Lord Basculegion. I honestly like the idea that if the battles are more straight up fights or wearing out that you can get help from the Wardens—they need more screen time!

no but qwilfish/overqwil is so perfect bc not only is it a coastlands pokemon, it's also a perfect ghost-type counter with the dark-typing! i was also thinking sand's reach, but then again if we're going with needing to trap basculegion in an inlet so it can't evade, that's exactly ideal. unless you have a certain number of attempts to trap it, represented by the spaces between the "fingers" where it could be pinned

listen i love the coastlands wardens bc of their characters and how telling they are of the way the pearl/diamond clans have to work together (you literally CAN'T get to firespit island ingame without either swimming or employing the diamond clan's help!) but also bc the warden who's scared of the ocean has a noble that lives on an island and the warden scared of ghosts has a noble who's like fifty dead fish. how do you mess up that bad

maybe iscan's afraid of facing basculegion directly, bc it's an incredibly powerful pokemon and currently has NO thoughts except KILL, but that's at war with his guilt for ever being afraid of his noble. ultimately it isn't either, but his sense of duty and commitment to the Meaning of being a warden that wins—he accepts the risks and faces the danger bc sometimes you just Have To. yknow.

meanwhile maybe palina gets it reinforced—lord arcanine evolves, but still loses to the type-advantaged and more experienced noble, but iscan and the protagonist come to protect her anyway—that they don't need to be perfect, yknow. lord arcanine is expected to be a pure power defensive pokemon, but fails at that—but finds his footing in a more supportive role, using rockslides to trap lord basculegion so the others can actually fight it.

animorphs!!!

ok I read animorphs when I was 10 or 11 I think? and I only read it once, along w/the spinoffs and stuff, and I've always meant to revisit it...SO HERE I AM....

and oh MAN I forgot how good this series is. like I knew it was good but some things from your childhood don't hold up yknow? especially books aimed at younger audiences

but oh boy does animorphs hold up. they're easy to read and perfectly balance the line between dark/adult topics and more kid-friendly lessons. excellent 

so yeah I'm loving it so far. I forgot how fast some stuff happens lmao, like I forgot that tobias gets trapped as a bird in the FIRST BOOK 

also I just adore how realistically disorganized/confused the animorphs are. like, they got the elevator pitch version of the conflict from elfangor before my mans got eaten, and also they're middle schoolers. of course they’re always just like ‘wtf do we even do’ 

so like...their plans mostly don't work. and even when planning they run into tons of logistical issues w/morphing, traveling, communicating etc. 

and I love how they clearly need to maintain their normal lives as well in order not to raise any suspicion 

and I like the little details like them not spending all their time together at school because they didn’t before so that would be suspicious

oh man and I love the different family dynamics in the series. you have jake, whose family seems pretty normal until we find out that tom is a controller, and rachel, whose parents are divorced, and who has to deal w/the complications of that. and then cassie, who is an only child (I like that we have a mix, with rachel and jake having siblings), and of course marco...

iirc marco was one of my favs (if not my fav, but its hard to choose) back in the day, and I forgot how reluctant he was to participate in the animorphs thing...and the fact that he was about to quit the team and then runs into visser 1.....

another fucked up little moment I liked - when they morphed dolphin and marco had to morph back to human bc he gets injured and he was like ‘I cant swim, and my mom drowned, I don't want to die like she did’ I was like oooof

also on that topic I adore how little the animorphs know about how anything works. like they once wondered if there's a limit to how many morphs they can acquire and they were basically like ‘idk guess we’ll find out’ 

and then when marco got injured as a dolphin and they were like ‘morph back I guess and hopefully you'll be okay?’ like damn luckily that worked 

basically these books do The Most Excellent Job showing that these are just kids. like they're literally in jr high which is 90s speak for middle school....they're like 13???? at most???

and the narrative reflects that perfectly!! all of them, even rachel who is pretty much the most gung-ho about fighting and stuff, have nightmares and all these terrible experiences bc they don't have basically any guidance 

and even with ax, it’s immediately obvious that he’s also just a kid, even though he’s this deadly alien....

also oh mannnn I love so much how we’re introduced to the andalites as this heroic race and how that slowly changes over the course of the story 

like, when elfangor introduces himself as ‘prince’ you assume he’s part of the andalite monarchy - but later we find out that ‘prince’ is a military rank, and the andalites are a lot more militaristic than we would assume at the beginning 

its so fantastic how it starts off as a fairly black and white conflict of andalites = good guy aliens and yeerks = bad guy aliens

and you even have some background stuff going on w/the taxxons being controllers by choice, and the hork-bajir being enslaved 

but as the story goes on, all of those lines get blurred in different ways...

also ooof the poor hork-bajir. I always felt so bad for them. it’s crazy that even in the first book, the animorphs are killing their enemies - at least I inferred that in book 1, but it becomes way more overt later on...the tough situation of them knowing that the hork-bajir are unwilling hosts but that they’re so dangerous that not killing them could be fatal to the good guys

and ngl this time around I have a lot more sympathy for the yeerks, even tho they don't really deserve it (at least in the early parts of the story where I am rn)

like...they're just these blind helpless slug creatures, but they're also fully sentient and intelligent? like, that's so fucked up. imagine yourself as you are now, but you're just a sensory deprived slug swimming in a pool. that's pretty fucked. and then the fact that the yeerks are biologically made to be parasites...its kinda no wonder that they ended up the way they are (and it also makes stuff like the yeerk peace movement really compelling)

also wow I kinda forgot about all the body horror w/the morphing. like ik that's one of the things that animorphs is known for but like. I forgot how much it happens and how creative the horrifying descriptions are. I love it

and omfg so when I first read this series the ellimist stuff confused me a lot bc I didn't read the books That closely (I mostly wanted to see what would happen next) but I loooove time travel bullshit so I’m really enjoying it so far

even tho tbh I think even if I had paid more attention as a 10 yr old I still would've been confused bc the ellimist stuff is kinda just inherently confusing lmao 

ok and I just love the characters,,,I love that the books switch perspectives, and KAA did such a masterful job of portraying differing and realistic reactions to their situation....like, all the animorphs react so differently to their circumstances, but their reactions are all so grounded in realism and also their personalities 

like man I love rachel. she was one of my favs as a kid too bc I always loved female characters and she was just so cool. and she still is, and so excellently written too 

liiiike the fact that even though she’s so tough and brave, she’s still a kid and has plenty of moments when she’s scared or uncertain...

and I just really like the fact that she out of all of them is the one who’s tough and loves to fight...and the fact that she also unapologetically loves shopping and stuff like that...its about the multifaced characters

just like how marco is the ‘funny guy’ but they make it very clear from the beginning that this is his way of coping w/shit like his family falling apart, and then alien BS 

and also marco is really smart? I kinda forgot abt that (sorry marco) but I like that bc that's uncommon to see with ‘funny’ characters

oh mannnn and ax. I love ax. I forgot a whole bunch about the early stuff w/him and how conflicted he was w/keeping secrets from the other animorphs

KAA did such a fantastic job w/ax - he really comes across as the perfect mix of ‘fish out of water alien’ and ‘young teen/tween’ and ‘alien from a strict militaristic society who is in training to become a soldier like his famous older brother’ 

n that was so sad n fucked up when he called the andalite home world and had to tell everyone (including his parents) that elfangor died, and then the elders or w/e forced ax to take blame for elfangor breaking their laws in order to preserve elfangor’s postmortem reputation, even at the cost of ax’s career/life :( 

and man I loved the part where ax is like ‘well, we didn't help the hork-bajir even tho we could have and now they're all enslaved. I'm not letting that happen to the humans’ and the council or w/e is like ‘well you should let it happen, don't interfere’ and ax basically realizes oh shit sometimes adults are wrong 

basically I love the conflict there, where the andalites are the ones who gave the yeerks the technology that led to them spreading across the galaxy like a disease, and now fight to stop them due to their guilt, but also refuse to directly help the less advanced species who are being invaded by the yeerks for fear of making a similar mistake like w/the yeerks....

ooooof and the part where ax is like ‘guess I have to go fight visser 3 and die’ :( he’s just a babyyyy

and augh when alloran asks them to kill him....geeeez there’s so much fucked up stuff already and I'm not even in the double digits yet 

oh my god and the brutally awful fact that any freed controller will just get tracked down by the yeerks and murdered so the secret invasion stays secret...and the animorphs think that by destroying the kandrona they've freed a bunch of controllers but really they just signed their death warrants - what a catch 22

oh and I love how even early on the yeerks aren't a completely unified force - we have the obvious rivalry w/visser 1 and visser 3, with visser 1 even arranging the animorphs release from visser 3′s prison bc of this, and that yeerk who told ax where to find visser 3 because he was pissed that his yeerk gf got killed by visser 3 - even though the reason she was killed was due to kandrona rationing, which was caused by the animorphs...i love the layers 

ok what else. oh yeah I love tobias sm, he was one of my favs as a kid too, his whole story is so deeply tragic but also interesting and we haven't even gotten into all the stuff w/his parents yet

the part where he’s freaking out as a hawk and he’s gonna fly into the windows even tho he knows it’ll probably kill him...christttt

also tobias and rachel are so romance aughhhh

ok also jake - he was never my favorite when I was younger bc I felt like he had Basic Protag Man Syndrome but now I can appreciate his character a lot more. like, he basically got elected the leader and he’s kinda like ‘guess I have to do this now.’ and that of course ends up fucking him up majorly in the long run bc even tho he’s more serious and responsible, he’s still just a kid too

and I loooove the horror of finding out that tom is a controller, and jake having to contend w/the fact that it’s very likely that he’ll have to fight and/or kill his brother someday 

also the book where jake gets infested w/a yeerk was one of my favs and still is. so fucked up and interesting. the fact that that yeerk was previously tom’s made it even more fucked, w/the yeerk taunting jake the whole time

and then the yeerk dying in jakes head...so messed up

omg and cassie too. I love cassie. I didn't appreciate her as much when I was younger bc I was a straightforward kid who liked action, and cassie is all about pacifism when possible and compassion, which I love a lot now that I Get it more. 

cassie being such a gentle person but still fighting in this fucked up war bc doing nothing would be worse is super compelling. plus the conflicts with her having to figure out where she and humanity fit in the circle of life and whatnot is great

I loved the contrast of her being very aware of how nature works bc of working w/her parents and all these injured animals, but also being so compassionate that it still bothers her to see death and especially participate in it 

like her feeling awful about killing the termite queen even tho its ‘just a bug’ and stuff

basically what makes the series great isn't that it’s got all these fucked up moments and horror elements and is overall quite dark - it’s that all of it comes together to make the point that war is hell, and child soldiers are gonna end up traumatized pretty much no matter what happens

it’s a very strong message, and the story never feels like it’s being dark just for the sake of being dark, but rather never letting the reader forget how awful things are

TL;DR: anirmorphs is to the YA genre what hunter x hunter is to the shounen genre

in animorphs, the heroes of the story are kids who get cool powers and get to fight aliens - in any other YA story they would have a bunch of fun adventures and come out on top most/all the time - things might get darker towards the end, but good would prevail. the evil yeerks would be stopped, and the main couples would get married and have kids and live happily ever after. 

however, war isn't like that, especially when the soldiers are kids. so instead we get animorphs, and it’s brutally realistic. they barely ever get to enjoy their powers - on the rare occasion that they get to, something usually goes horribly wrong

compare to hxh - it seems like a regular shounen story about kids participating in a fantastical mostly-adult world and being able to match the adults bc they're Special - but as the story wears on it becomes clear that the kids are just very traumatized. this all leads to gon’s berserker collapse in the chimera ant arc, which is led up to masterfully w/a bunch of adults treating gon as an adult even though he’s a child.

essentially the same thing happens in animorphs - with jake being shoved into the leader role and becoming a military general as a kid, which leads to him committing horrific war crimes because he’s been put in a position no child should ever have to be in

similarly, kurapika has what would be a very straightforward revenge plotline in any other story - but this is hxh, so the bad guys aren't just 2-dimensional evil caricatures, and the road to revenge just leads kurapika to ruin. we root for kurapika to win bc they’re a character we like, but it becomes clearer and clearer as the story goes on that getting revenge is not the path kurapika should be taking

nothing is ever as straightforward as we want it to be, basically. and the same applies to animorphs. so many times they're faced with conflicts that seem to have an obvious answer, only for it to be revealed later that the choices they made led to other unforeseen awful consequences

ok i need to stop rambling this is already super long. basically: animorphs good. I’ll probably do another post like this semi-soon as I continue reading (I'm partway thru book 10 now)

Why Worm is the Perfect Gateway from YA to Fantasy/Sci-fi

I’m going to start off by saying I first read worm when I was 14 and while I thought it was cool I didn’t read past the leviathan arc and I didn’t go back until I was 17 where I started reading it again and loved every second of it. There’s a reason for this, I think, and because worms start off as a YA thing before becoming so much more with a solid foundation.

I was originally going to make a post that basically said: “Hot take: The thing that stops worm from being YA is the fact that characters “Good or Badness” is not determined by whether they agree with the main character or not” but its more than that and so I’m Going to make this post.

1. It starts off as a YA

Worm begins by giving the reader a lot of YA tropes, bullied at school, oppressive system, having a secret you are keeping from the rest of the group, Hypocritical authority figures(I’m coming back to this one), Not being handsome or pretty, Low Self-esteem, Characters called bad by the system being cool or secretly good and misunderstood(Coming back to this as well).

These tropes work because a lot of young adults see themselves in these charters because a lot of people feel like outsiders in these years see themselves as misunderstood and it's great, I'm not disparaging YA but YA isn’t made to challenge a reader (past Levi I felt legitimate anxiety reading Worm) it's made to entertain a reader and it does that by making truly care about characters. However, in Worm, it makes a character based off of those tropes and that is Taylor this doesn't mean much till we get past Levi but it is noticeable on rereads where you see her go out un-ready because, as it seems to me, she wants to go down in a blaze of glory, not some heroic ideal

Point is Worm starts off by being really appealing to YA readers.

2. Levi Arc / A break from YA / Violence in YA

Worms Un-YA-vacation actually starts a chapter before Levi. This is the point where a YA begins its conclusion, Threats have been faced they have grown together as a team and think they've got through the worst of it, now the true villain is revealed, there's a betrayal a twist happens and the heroes rally to prove themselves over whatever weird morality the villain has(Coming back to this as well)

In Worm, the Twist is Dinah Alcott, however, there is no betrayal, no secret villain, just villains doing villain things, only now Taylor (and by extension the reader) sees the victims to her crimes and the secret villain was Taylor. At this point, Tayor and her friends would come together and save Dinah and prove they were the real good guys all along except they don't the rest of the Undersiders are ok with it and that's a big break from YA plot. The character and her friends are supposed to be, unless they were deceiving the protagonist, “good.” Taylor freaks and runs but before we can deal with that (and we will) Levi attacks.

These days a lot of YA is “edgy” but that death is used for a reason, A Lot of times you'll hear something like “All these people died except him” or “She’s an elite assassin who killed all these people” another use of death in YA is to set stakes killing a whole bunch of named characters during the aforementioned betrayal to set stakes or to cause a character to unlock a new ability through grief. In either scenario, the Protag either avenges these deaths or is a main player in a battle the protagonist. In Worm, Taylor plays damage control, takes a stab and leviathan and Phoom! Broken spine. She is insignificant and that made me so afraid that I'd hear the words “Grue - deceased” that I put down the book for three years. It's real and it's scary.

Violence and Death aren’t trivialised or given lip service, it's real, it's respected and it's a theme and it makes you take it seriously. Fighting stops seeming cool.

3.Ensamble and Morality.

In my mind, you can split a YA protag into two types: A brave idealist in a world of cruel realists or in more edgy YA smart realist in a world where others are idiotic Idealists, in either the protags world view is the right one. Now It's hardly a groundbreaking idea that Taylor isn’t justified in doing bad things but I'm going to address how this idea is given to the audience.

I think it's fair to describe Taylor as a member of group two, In her mind, she's doing what should be done whilst her antagonists are trying to uphold a system that does not work, at least as far as she thinks. In a YA this would make those who are on her side good and those who oppose her bad, that's not the case in the Worm. A lot of the Undersiders are arguably bad people; they aren’t sanitised. More so the people who oppose Taylor are legitimately heroic and you know this because you got to see through the eyes of the BB Wards and you know they aren’t fake. You buy into the idea of them being Heros which makes you question it when Taylor opposes them but more so you feel conflicted. In YA you might feel bad for the antagonist who had a sad backstory which is why they are doing a “bad” thing but you don't in Worm (Because those are our protagonists) instead you're conflicted because the antagonist has a Solid argument for why they oppose Taylor that can’t be written off.

Basically, a YA would decide a character's Morality by whether they are on Taylor's side or not and worm takes a good look and subverts that specific trope in a way that's hard to ignore

It's worth noting that whilst other fantasy/sci-fi novels don’t really work with these tropes Worm takes them and morphs them to a point where you the reader become conflicted and unsure on what you think about Taylor by using established YA tropes you would only really buy into if you read a lot of YA (Which I did)

4. Fighting the System

The idea of an oppressive system and unfair authority is a big theme in YA and that's because it's relatable. Here's a quick sketch of a regime in YA it's full of hypocrites(Armsmaster) and Unfair and Malicious leaders who are either incapable if the MC is a realist or too brutal if the MC is an idealist (Alexandria and Eidolon) and when the organization is overturned (normally by the protag) the good members(Miss Militia, Chevalier, Legend) come into control and say that the MC was right the whole time and change their policies to suit the MC.

There's a problem however both Taylor and the System are Realists and Utilitarians, they have the same moral code. Not a new idea, but it challenges that specific Idea of what an Antagonistic organization is supposed to be.

The Hypocrite (Armsmaster) takes stock, and in a YA would realize he's been criticizing the MC for doing the same stuff he is and then stop criticizing and supporting the MC, but here he takes a good look at himself realizes he's been a hypocrite and changes his behaviour! Armsmaster straight up criticizes the way he behaves in the past, becomes a better person and that makes him even more of an antagonist for Taylor which makes you question her even more.

Finally, When The good guys get in charge of the organization they remain Taylors antagonists Chev and MM still have an issue with the way Taylor operates and tell her if she doesn't comply she gets prison

5.Conclusion

I used to read a lot of YA back in the and I think it's worth noting Worms interaction with YA because it takes YA tropes and dynamics that someone who reads YA automatically assumes and then twists them breaking your assumed ideas about things in a way that makes you question things. And the reason I think this is important is because as I said Earlier YA exists to entertain it is safe, comfortable and fun. But Literature can be more engaging if you want it to be.

The best works of Fantasy/ Sci-fi Drag of those comfort zones. The Way of Kings makes you think about coping with depression and dealing with systems that keep the disadvantaged and exploited docile, I-Robot makes you question what defines personhood, except those works can be daunting. Worm takes a YA reader and gives them what they want for a bit until things start to descend into the groundwork of morality and make you look at it. In a YA novel, utilitarianism and trauma would be character traits used to define a character. In Worm you are forced to question it, to examine it and then come to your own decision, yes the world was ultimately saved through utilitarianism but it could have been done better. Trauma was weaponized, but it was a trauma Taylor had too.

When I reached the end of Worm, I found that YA just wasn't as engaging, and I went looking for a book that felt more real and had real themes, stuff that Worm showed me and that's why I think is a great gateway into Fantasy and Sci-Fi

Ive read the google doc about kirishima being gay but Im still not sure... What if it was put there just for fanservice :(

ITS OKAY ANON🌸❤ I worry abt the same thing! Tho I've been genuinely analyzing krbk these few days so allow me to give u a lengthy response where I'll try to encourage u to have a bit more faith!

Mina as a love interest doesn't make much sense to me. I don't think its a common thing to make an already introduced character a love interest later on in the series, especially since most ships/couples were paired early on in the manga (eg. Izuku/ochaco, kaminari/jiro, and bakugo/kirishima)!

Occasions where a love interest is introduced later on in a story r common when the character is brand new, and the protag has no existing romantic chemistry with other characters (eg. Simon and Nia in guren lagann) both which does not apply to kiri and mina

Kirishima has been paired with Bakugo on multiple occasions, much before Kiri's back story with Mina, and his relationship with bakugo was shown to be mutual in the red riot unbreakable scene. Kirishima specifically remembered bakugo's words of encouragement (something he never does with anyone,,, except kiri lol) and got a huge power boost. So the scene shows us that not only does Kiri value bkg's opinion, but bkg cares abt kiri's happiness/confidence too!

Meanwhile, Mina was almost like the opposite in the back story. Kirishima saw Mina's confidence and thought he was weak compared to her, and beat himself up over it. She made him feel weak and lowered his confidence (not on purpose!). Meanwhile bkg makes him feel stronger u know djjdjsjs

Now, the scene in the recent chapters where Mina says her new move was inspired by Kirishima's unbreakable seemed shippy to many people!

BUT I'M HERE TO DISPROVE THAT! Imagine you inspired someone that u once looked up to! I'd feel super proud, and that's exactly what Kiri is feeling here! He sees how far he's come and even Mina, the Almighty Brave Mina, acknowledged him! This could also be Mina being a good friend and doing that on purpose just to boost his confidence! If u recall this scene

She saw how down he was after almost losing, so its honestly in her nature to do smth nice, like make a move inspired by his!

Now, u might think that these scenes r just developments for a future romance. I have no way of knowing that, but I want to point out the faulty logic of it! The scene where Kiri is smiling at Mina because of her new move might seem shippy, but notice how there's no blush, no shiny bubbles behind them. Izuku and Ochaco had that kind of scene IN THE SAME CHAPTER as the scene with Kiri and Mina

THEYRE BOTH BLUSHING! and there's those cute bubbles behind them!! And they're also talking abt how they've improved one another!! And they've been paired since the beginning

Still not convinced it wasn’t a romantic scene? I can compare it to kaminari and jiro too! They've also been paired since the beginning of the series, and while I personally prefer Momo and Jiro, I think this is the one Horikoshi is going for.

While its not as in-your-face shippy like the izuocha moment above, u can still see the words left an impression on her. Her blush is from just embarrassment but it cld be more y'know? Anyway this is a krbk post not kmjr djjdjdkdmms

OK OK now that we have this stuff outta the way and I've hopefully given u some more faith, I also want to discuss fan-service. First off, here's a link to a twitter thread that contains almost every single krbk scene and piece of promo material, there's a loooot of stuff that indicate some sort of romantic undertone in here, and there's actually more in the manga! Specifically the unbreakable moment I already referenced

And this lil panel of Kirishima being proud of Bakugou's growth, next to my edited one with blush

I genuinely think the second one looks more fitting but I'm biased djjfjdjdkdj, makes me wonder if there was blush in the sketches but that's a big reach

There's other tiny insignificant moments in more recent arcs, but even they show that Bakugo and Kirishima are comfy in each others company! That they're friends!

Okay okay back to fan-service! All these scenes and lil promo media with romantic undertones are fan-service. Thing is tho, I don't know how good of an idea it is to bait ur fans that much and then end up not giving them what they want. Like, example, Bakugo has been the most popular character for 4 years now. Killing him off would cause a massive outcry from the fans. This kind of thing has happened! In the bleach fandom, the popular character Byakuya was killed, but the fans were so enraged that they harassed the creator on twitter and he actually brought back the character! Now obvy I think that's terrible but it shows how harsh fans can be :/ its a bad idea to promo a ship that much and then make another one happen. Kr/mn has gotten nothing other than the scenes in the manga, soooo....

Okay I accidentally posted this too soon so this is an edit JFJJFKSK BUT YEAH!! I hope you've gotten a bit more faith after this. We'll see what the new chapters bring us!

my url :) kill me softly

ROAST TIME || accepting

@rcguna

my opinion on;

character in general: MR  RAGU !!!  the  man  the  myth  the  legend.  the  OE  (  original  earthmate  ).  i  have  the  softest  spot  in  my  heart  for  this  man  since  he’s  the  one  who  kicked  off  the whole  rune  factory  series  in  the  first  place !!  he’s  kind  and  he’s  reliable  and  brave  and  cursed  with  eternal  Protagonist  Disease  which  i  respect.  easily  the  best  rf  protag.  thank  you  for  your  service  mr  raguna.  beyond  him  though  i  have  LOVED  getting  to  know  your  other  muses  and  ocs  over  the  past  few  weeks  (  i  have  a  soft  spot  for  wy  too,  honestly  can’t  decide  if  he  and  leon  would  be  bffs  or  hate  each  other  and  that’s  valid  babey  )  and  i’m  also  super  excited  to  see  how  eira  and  leon’s  relationship  progresses  (  especially  once  we  get  an  actual  thread  going  lol  )

how they play them:  steeple hands ...  HOOOOOO.  listen  to  me.  i  know  bear’s  raguna  best  since  i’ve  been  following  him  longest  and  let  me  tell  you !!  i  have  literally  LOVED  LOVED  LOVED  seeing  where  you  have  taken  him  and  how  much  he’s  grown  over  these  past  few  years.  your  ragu  is  sweet  and  gentle  and  maybeee  sometimes  just  a  bit  too  trusting,  but  he’s  definitely  more  than  capable  of  holding  his  own.  and  the  way  he  sasses  leon  ??  brilliant.  wonderful.  extraordinary.  writing  protags  can  be  tricky  because  theyre  generally  just  meant  to  be  placeholders  for  the  player  but  you’ve  given  him  such  life  and  CHARM  that  he  feels  so  well - rounded  and  not  just  like.  some  random  dude  who  can  swing  a  hoe  around  lol.  what  a  genuine  joy  to  have  on  my  dash ,,  a  blessing.

the mun:  i  feel  like  i’ve  said  ‘  i  have  a  soft  spot  for  x  ’  far  too  many  times  in  this  post  already  but  OKAY !!  LIKE !!  i’m  pretty  sure  that  we  both  started  each  of  our  respective  blogs  around  the  same  time  (  if  i  remember  correctly  )  and  as  two  of  the  last  single  muse  rf  blogs  standing  i  feel  a  sort  of  special  bond  to  you.  a  rf  bond.  which  as  we  all  know  is  unconditional  and eternal.  you  are  so  genuinely  hilarious  and  i  love  talking  to  you  (  although  i’m  sorry  i’m  like  the  most  Boring  person  to  talk  to  ooc  LMAO  )  and  i  do  wish  we  would  talk  more.  love  u  bff  let’s  talk  more  when  i’m  no  longer  burnt  out  from  work  lol

do i;

follow them:  of  course.  we  are  ride  or  die  now.

rp with them: not  as  much  as  i  would  like  to !!!  seriously  let’s  get  some  more  threads  UP  IN  HERE

want to rp with them:  litcherally  always.  leon’s  a  glutton  for  punishment  apparently

ship their character with mine:  let  leon  and  ragu  be  best  friends.  like  not  even  joking.  honestly  i  want  them  to  be  good  friends  with  all  my  being.  please .  they  need  it

what is my;

overall opinion: *emotionally breakdances*

**Note: Mun’s answer are all to be completely honest. Don’t send url if you don’t want brutal honesty.

Hey, love your writing, keep up the good work! I was just wondering, and it's perfectly a-okay to say no, but would you consider posting a version of the fic where reader is kidnapped in place of Jack n'rescued by John & Arthur where you edit out the choking part? I loved the setting, drama, the brave n'resourceful protag, the inclusion of Jack(!!) n' I want to read the smut too but I have a strong phobia of not being able to breathe so I just can't deal w/anything that has to do w/choking :/

So I was perfectly happy to do this, especially for the lovely @nordic-breeze :) If any of you have already read the previous version, you’ll probably want to skip this one, it is almost exactly the same except with choking/breathing triggers removed. 

If anyone else has a request like this, please feel free to send it; I may not publish all alternative versions, but it really isn’t much effort for me to edit an existing text, and I can always send you a google doc link or something :) 

If you send requests in, please feel free to be specific with details like this; I don’t want a whole plot planned out in a request, but I am more than happy to include specific details or actively avoid certain triggers

Arthur x f! reader | “Safe places and words” - Alternative version | AO3

Guidance:

Violence, threats of sexual assault, implied minor sexual assault (groping), almost major sexual assault. Smut, but unrelated to/separate from mentions of assault. Smut includes blowjob, reader being pinned down by wrists (initiated by reader) and gentle biting. NSFW/NSFT

Words: 4k

“That’s great Jack, well done!” You patted Jack on the back as he carefully reeled in the small fish. “See I knew you’d manage it! Uncle Arthur’s been giving you some fishing tips hasn’t he.” Jack jumped up and down excitedly as you carefully unhooked the fish from the line to show to him. “Here, hold still, lift it up, I’ll take a picture for your parents before we throw it back.” You took the picture as quickly as you could – you were pretty sure it would be blurry, thanks to Jack being incapable of holding in his energy.

“Thanks Auntie Y/N, maybe this isn’t so boring!” Jack said as he threw the little fish back in the river. You were both watching it swim away when you heard a voice behind you.

“Well ain’t this…. Sweet”. You turned sharply to look at the three new arrivals, instinctively moving jack behind you, one hand resting on your revolver. Shit. O’Driscolls. What the hell are they doing this close to camp?

“Look, fellas, I don’t want no trouble. I’m just relaxing with the kid.” You wanted to back away further, but you were already at the edge of the water. Two of the men were moving slowly towards you, one on each side, blocking any escape; you were fast with your revolver, but not fast enough to take down all three, and you couldn’t risk anything happening to Jack.

“We can see that girly” the leader sneered, standing in front of you. “Tell you what, why don’t we help out? We can teach the lad a thing or two….” As he said this, the leader nodded to the man to your left, and before you could do anything he grabbed at Jack. You launched yourself at him, only to be grabbed from behind by the other man. He pulled your arms behind your back as you kicked and screamed, hoping desperately someone might hear. Jack had started crying; the noise of his sobs made your adrenaline surge even further.

“You really don’t want to do this, his dad and the others will come after you.” You tried to slow your breathing, bring your heart rate under control. The only way you were getting out of this was with words.

“Oh, we know girl, we know. That’s exactly why we’re doing this.” The leader smirked at you as your heart sank. “You’re going to go back to your little camp and tell Marston that we’ve got his precious little boy. Then you’re going to tell him to come to us, alone, tomorrow at noon. We’ll send a message tomorrow with a location, maybe with a bit of….motivation attached. If he doesn’t come, or if he doesn’t come alone, we’ll start using bits of little Jack here for fish food.”

“You bastards! They’ll kill you all!” you screamed at the man, unable to control your rage.

“No, missy, they won’t. Because if they try, Jack’s mother will be burying him as well as his father. Well, burying whatever is left of him anyway.” Jack was still sobbing, he didn’t really understand what was going on, but he knew from your reaction that you were in trouble. “Come on lads, let’s get going. Give her a clout, best if she’s out for a while.” The man behind you released one of your arms, drawing his pistol and raising the butt above your head, ready to strike.

“WAIT!” you yelled, breaking free and rushing forwards. Your mind was racing, you had to get Jack out of this situation.

“Take me. Take me instead, let Jack go back to camp.” The men laughed at this, you were going to have to try harder. “I’ll be quieter than him. I won’t cause trouble.” The man holding Jack was starting to walk away, and you could hear the man behind you moving closer again. Think, think! “I…..you….. you could have some fun with me.” The words almost made you puke, the thought of these men touching you, but you’d do anything to save Jack.

That got their attention. The leader stepped closer to you, still grinning a horrible, evil, gappy grin. “Nah, missy, as tempting as that sounds, you ain’t as valuable. Dutch ain’t going to send one of his main men out looking for one of you camp bitches.”

“I ain’t just one of the girls.” You were going to regret giving this information away, you knew it, but you had to convince them to make the trade.

“Well then missy, who are you exactly?” The man leered at you, moving even closer, so you could feel his breath on your face.

“Y/N. Y/N Morgan.” That name had the desired effect, and the leader gave a low whistle.

“Arthur dead would hurt Dutch more” the man holding Jack grunted at him.

“It sure would, Peter, it sure would…..” Before you could do anything, the man in front of you had grabbed you by the chin.

“Right, girly, I think we’ll take you up on your offer. And I mean all of your offer” the man’s face was almost touching yours now, and his breath made you almost gag. “You’ll only scream when we want you to. And believe me, you’re going to need to scream. You ain’t getting out of this. We’ll make sure Mr Morgan sees us slit your delicate little neck, and we’ll make him watch as you slowly die.”

Your heart was racing, but you kept your face perfectly still; you didn’t want to give them the pleasure of seeing the fear you were experiencing.

“I’ll be quiet” you said, through gritted teeth. “Just let me put Jack on my horse and send him off, it’s too far for him to walk.”

“Fine. Be quick. And only because we need him to get back to camp to tell Mr Morgan where you are.” He released you and practically threw you at Jack. Shaking, you walked over and took a still sobbing Jack from the other man. You carefully placed him on your horse, and quickly started scribbling a note.

“Girl, what the hell do you think you’re doing” the man snatched at the paper, but you pulled it away from him.

“I’m writing down the instructions, you bastard. He’s only young, even if he does remember them he’ll be too upset to say anything” you snarled back at the man. He sneered at you, before calling out to his men.

“You two, check the note.”

“Hey, you know I can’t read.”

“Me neither.”

“Goddammit” the leader muttered. You guessed that neither could he. “Just hurry up girl, before I decide to send the boys lifeless body back on the damn horse” he snapped at you before walking over to his own. You quickly finished the note and handed it to Jack.

“Right Jack, I know you’re upset, but I need you to be a brave boy for me, okay? My horse should take you directly back to camp, don’t worry. You hold on as tight as you can, and when you get to camp you give this note to Uncle Arthur, okay?” Jack swallowed and nodded, tears still dripping down his face. “I love you Jack, remember that.” With those last words, you slapped your horse on the rear, sending it trotting off back up the path.

With your back to the O’Driscolls, you quickly and silently slipped a knife from the sheath strapped to your thigh and sliced the blade across the palm of your hand. You winced slightly, staying as still as possible, hoping they hadn’t noticed. Keeping your fist clenched, you turned just as they grabbed you, pulling off your weapons and knocking the knife out of your other hand.

“Nice try missy. Now, you’re riding with me. I want a little…..preview of the fun we’re going to have tonight.”

You said nothing, and let the man bundle you onto his horse, sitting behind you. One hand on the reins, the other gripping you tightly – and not by the waist – you set off. You held your cut hand out as far as you could, under the pretence of needing balance, and squeezed, feeling the blood run over your fingers. You just hoped you could keep it bleeding for as long as possible.

——

John was the first to see Jack and your horse as they gently trotted back into camp. At first, he wasn’t too concerned, expecting to see you right behind; but as they got closer, he realised you weren’t there.

“Jack, what’s happened? Where’s Y/N?” Jack immediately burst into tears, and John quickly hoisted him off the horse and hugged him tight.

“There….was…..some…..men” Jack managed to get the words out between sobs. “I have a….” Jack held the crumpled note up to his father; it was slightly damp from his tears.

“ARTHUR!” John yelled, opening the note.

“John, what the hell do you want” Arthur grumbled as he walked over.

“O’Driscolls have got Y/N” John said, his voice cracking slightly, as he handed the note to Arthur. Arthur’s face paled as he read your hastily written instructions. “Any idea what those last two words are?” John asked before handing Jack to Abigail, who had been attracted by his shout.

Arthur looked at the two words at the end of the note. ‘Strawberry Doe’. You hadn’t dared write more than that. But Arthur didn’t need anymore to understand what you’d done.

“John, get your guns. We’ve got some killin’ to do.” Arthur growled.

“But Arthur, we don’t know where they’ve gone.” It wasn’t really a protest - John was already prepping the saddle on his horse - more a panicked comment.

“She’s left us a trail. We’ll track ‘em down like the animals they are.” John didn’t think he’d ever seen Arthur’s eyes like this. They were cold, emotionless, like he’d shut down.

As the two men rode out of camp, pounding towards the fishing spot, Arthur finally felt something other than rage start to sweep over him. It was fear. The fear of losing you, the fear of not being able to protect you…….

—–

It was early evening when you finally stopped at an abandoned old hut. Stuck in front of this lecherous, disgusting creature of a man, you had basically frozen, letting your mind disassociate. The ride was horrible, uncomfortable, but nothing more than you’d experienced in many saloons; at least those drunk bastards got their comeuppance when they groped you.

You were pulled roughly off the horse, your hands tied behind your back, and led into the dark basement. You knew what was coming, you just prayed that you could endure it for as long as it took Arthur to find you.

To your surprise, the leader shoved you to the floor before turning to leave.

“Me and the boys are going to eat before our fun starts, sweetheart” he leered at you. “Need to make sure we’ve got plenty of… energy.” He paused, licking his lips, before shutting the doors to the basement behind him, leaving you in total darkness.

Finally alone, you let a little sob escape from your throat. All you could think about was Arthur. Would you ever see him again? Would he even be able to look at you if he did?

And so you sat, in the cold, in the darkness, waiting.

——

Arthur and John rode in silence, occasionally stopping to search for the next part of your trail. There was nothing to say; there was no plan, only anger and fear. These men were going to die, and not well.

“Arthur…. I can’t see anythin’.” It was early evening and the light was fading fast.

“John, just keep lookin’!” Arthur snapped. “There has to be somethin’. Has to be……”

John didn’t retort, he knew it wasn’t him Arthur was angry at. He looked around, and spotted something in the distance.

“Arthur! Smoke. Looks like it’s comin’ from a cabin. Might just be normal folks though.”

“It’s our best hope. Come on.”

——

You had no idea how long you’d been down there in the dark. You’d done your best to keep calm, concentrating on your breathing. Stumbling around in the dark, unable to use your hands, you’d found a chair and a table; you’d crawled under the table and sat in the corner, back to the walls. It made you feel a bit safer; you tried to pretend that it was Arthur’s chest you were leaning against, not this damp, slimy, old stone.

Eventually, you heard the creak of the basement door hatches, and a figure made its way down with a lantern. Very briefly, you let yourself pray it was Arthur; but no, he was too short, too fat. You swore at yourself for even thinking it; of course it wasn’t Arthur, you’d heard no commotion, no gunshots. You didn’t even know if he was coming. Had Jack made it back? Had your horse actually gone back to camp, had Jack managed to cling on? Had Arthur understood your message?

Your slightly panicked thoughts were interrupted by the man grabbing you by the ankle, pulling you out from under the table, causing the back of your head to slam into the floor.

“It’s playtime girly! Now you better make some noise for me you little whore.” He lifted you up roughly by the front of your shirt then grabbed you hard by the chin. He moved his face next to yours and slowly, disgustingly, licked your cheek. “Just pretend I’m your big, bad outlaw. But don’t get too excited, me and the boys will be taking turns all throughout the night. And we don’t want you passing out now… it’s no fun if you aren’t awake to feel it.”

You wanted to fight back, to do something, anything but you couldn’t. You were completely frozen.

“Not even going to beg me? Well you’re a nasty girl ain’t ya.” With that, he turned you around and slammed your face and chest into the table, bending you over. Using your bound wrists to keep you pushed down, he pulled at your trousers with one hand, pulling them down to your knees. You heard him fumbling with his belt buckle, and you could have sworn that you were suddenly looking down on the scene from above; you could see yourself, bent over, face completely emotionless, and him, pulling at his trousers, pushing them down.

Suddenly, a familiar crack of a gunshot sounded above you, followed quickly by a series of others. You could hear yelling and screaming mixed in with the gunfire. The man released you, scrabbling over to the chair where he’d put his gun belt, reaching it as the basement doors flew open. He’d just pulled his gun out of the holster when a shot rang out, shattering his hand and sending the gun flying. Deafened slightly by the noise, you tried to stand up, struggling, and turned just enough to see the familiar shape of Arthur smash his revolver across the man’s face, sending what few teeth he had left flying. You’d never seen him hit anyone that hard before; sometimes, his strength was almost scary.

Arthur’s heart almost exploded with pain when he looked at you, trousers roughly pulled down, struggling to stand up. He quickly moved to you, leaving the unconscious man behind him. One brief flick of his knife and you were free; the first thing you did was grapple with your trousers, trying to pull them up. You never wanted Arthur to see you like this, not with another man, willingly or not. There were tears in the corner of his eyes as he grabbed you by the face, scanning yours for any injury.

“I’m so sorry I wasn’t here sooner Y/N, so sorry” he said, stumbling over his words slightly.

Finally, with him stood in front of you, your adrenaline started to fade and a wave of relief washed over you. You threw your arms around him, breathing in his familiar, musky smell. You tried to say something, but all you could do was cry. In between sobs, you managed to explain that Arthur had arrived just in time. He held you tight, his arms and warmth seeming to form a protective bubble around you. After a few moments, he picked you up and took you up the stairs to a waiting John.

As soon as you saw John, your first thought went to his little boy. “Jack…. Is Jack okay? They were going to take him, John, I’m so sorry…..” As you spoke, Arthur gently let you down, standing you upright. John pulled you in for a hug, holding your face to his chest.

“He’s fine Y/N, he’s fine. Thanks to you. I’ll never forget this, you hear? Never.”

“John, you wait with her and the horses. I’ve got somethin’ to finish.” Before you could say anything, Arthur had grabbed some rope and walked away back into the basement. You thought about stopping him, but it only took a moment for you to decide the man deserved whatever was about to happen. John led you and the horses a little way off, but you could still see Arthur drag the man out by his hair, sitting him against a tree and tying him to it. You heard the man’s bloodcurdling screams as Arthur took his manhood from him, then begging as Arthur chucked what looked like bait on his bloodied lap.

Arthur walked back to you and John, wiping his blood-stained knife with a cloth.

“You finished?” John asked. He’d not seen Arthur do anything like this before; beat a man, yes, threaten, of course, even kill; but this….. this was a whole other level of rage.

“I’ve done what I needed. I’ve left the wolves to do the rest.” Arthur muttered as he climbed onto the saddle behind you.

The ride back was silent; no-one knew what to say. Arthur held you tightly to him by the waist, clinging to you as if for dear life. Occasionally he gently kissed you on the neck, but only after asking you if he could. He’d never asked before; you knew he was just trying to be kind, make sure you were okay, but you hated it. You just wanted things to be exactly like they were before; you were scared he’d never look at you in the same way again.

When you arrived back at the camp, everyone came to fuss over you. You entertained them for as long as you could before pulling Arthur away to your shared tent.

Arthur was surprised when you grabbed at his face as soon as he’d pulled the flaps down. You kissed him hard, hungrily, biting at his lips. He kissed you back, but more hesitantly, causing you to pull away.

“Arthur……”

“I’m sorry Y/N, I just…..I’ll go, you’ll want some time alone.”

“Arthur Morgan, you have never tried to tell me what I do and don’t want. Do not start now.” You didn’t give him time to reply before once again pulling him back in for a kiss. This time, he didn’t resist, and gently brought his hands up to rest on your shoulders.

You let your hands drop from his face as you slowly undid his shirt buttons. As your hands moved back up his chest, you let them brush lightly over his nipples, making him moan, before pushing the shirt off his shoulders. Once again, you moved you hands over his chest, this time down to his belt. He grunted slightly as you pulled at it, swiftly undoing it and the top button as his hips pushed forwards. You slowly slipped your thumbs under the waistband and gently pulled his trousers down, levering them forwards over his erection.

You knelt as you guided his trousers to the ground, and Arthur’s hands moved to the back of your head. He let out a little grunt as you licked the head of his cock, before you took him in your mouth in one swift movement. He groaned and gripped your hair as you slid him in and out of your mouth, soaking him. You moved your hand up to his on the back of your head, wrapped it around his fist, and used it to pull your own hair. Arthur understood the signal, and pushed his hips forwards, driving himself deep into your mouth, making you gag. He pulled out slightly, letting you recover, making sure you could breathe comfortably, before using his firm grip on your hair to dictate your speed. Soon, the movement of his hips became slightly erratic, and panting, he pulled away from you. This was just the prequel, he wasn’t about to ruin the main event.

You stood up, undoing your trousers as Arthur made short work of your shirt. You lay down on the bed as Arthur pulled your trousers off, pausing momentarily to stare at you, completely naked before him. You shouldn’t have worried; his gaze was just as it always was, hungry, desperate to touch you, mind blank save for the thought of you.

Arthur was quickly on top of you, one hand tucked under your shoulder, the other moving between your legs. You moaned softly as he gently rubbed you, spreading your wetness up and over your clit. As he massaged it with his thumb, moving in steady circles, he slipped a couple of fingers inside you, testing you. No matter how much he wanted you, how much he needed you, he always made sure you were ready. And you were.

He shifted forwards, replacing his thumb with the tip of his cock, rubbing against you. He kissed you as he pushed in, all the way, making you gasp and shudder. He bit your neck as moved back a fraction, before pushing deep again. He enjoyed this bit the most; every time felt like the first time you’d ever taken him, your reaction always the same. He gently started to move his hips backwards and forwards, kissing you, building up a rhythm as his hand moved to massage your breast.

“Pin me down, Arthur” you whispered into his ear. He paused, looking into your eyes, slight concern showing on his face.

“You sure darlin’?” You nodded and bit your lip, resting both wrists together on the bed above your head.

“Arthur please…. I want to feel normal. I want to feel loved…. I want to feel safe.” Arthur smiled, and with one large hand pinned your wrists down.

To anyone else, safe would have seemed like an odd choice of word to use, with a large man lying on top of you, effortlessly pinning you down. But it was true; this made you feel safe. Arthur would never hurt you, was always guided by you; you were always in control, even if it didn’t look that way.

Arthur delicately kissed your lips before thrusting hard into you. His grip on your wrists tightened, just enough to keep you pinned down, not enough to hurt. If he put too much pressure on you just tapped the back of his hand with your fingers; he always responded immediately. Every time he pounded into you, he’d stop briefly when he was fully enveloped, grinding himself into your clit, just like you’d shown him. It wasn’t long before you were both on the brink. You came first, gripping his hand, gasping his name. As soon as you had, he removed his hand from your wrists and you lifted yourself up, biting his nipple; this took him over the edge, and he swore as he pushed into you hard, almost uncomfortably deep. He collapsed onto your chest, and you both stayed there for a moment, not moving, just listening to the other’s breathing.

“Thankyou Arthur. I needed that. It might not make much sense but….I….needed to regain some control.”

“Darlin’ that don’t surprise me. Though, honestly, you don’t ever make much sense to me.” He grinned, before sitting up, releasing you. “Now, we best get some rest. I think Jack wants to spend tomorrow with his favourite Aunt.”

“He’s a sweetheart, he really is. I might stay in the camp this time though” you chuckled, sitting up and resting your head on Arthur’s shoulder. He kissed you softly on the top of the head, stroking your lower back.

“You do whatever you want darlin’. I’ll always be here.”

Allen Rambles about Assassins Pride

Originally, I was going to talk about Assassins Pride along with  High School Prodigies have it Easy Even in Another World as a sort of update/mini-essay post. However... the Assassins Pride portion got a lot bigger than I expected, I was over 500 words into it, and by that point, like so many other of my Ramblings, I just threw up and hands and decided to go all in. So, here we are... talking about an anime with only 2 episodes out and yet I’ve still managed to write over 1,300 words about in the rough draft of this “mini” essay. 

But first, a quick synopsis by Wikipedia, who does a much better job of summarizing this show than my first two drafts did:

Humanity has been brought to the edge of extinction and now exists solely in the last remaining city state of Flandore, where individual city blocks are housed in separate glass domes. Travel between the domes is possible only via train lines running through glass tunnels. The world outside the domes has become one of eternal darkness and is completely infested with savage lycanthropes.

Within the domes humanity is divided into the nobility and the commoner classes. Through their blood members of noble families are able to manifest mana which grants them powerful superhuman abilities enabling them to fight and kill lycanthropes. Melida Angel was born to a noble father and a commoner mother but has never manifested mana and attends an elite academy to hone her skills with mana.

On orders from Melida's noble grandfather, Lord Mordrew, the assassin Kufa Vampir is ordered to become Melida's tutor and discover if Melida is a true member of the noble Angel family. If Kufa discovers Melida is the product of her mothers affair with another commoner and not blood related to Lord Mordrew he is ordered to assassinate her. Kufa confirms Melida is likely not a noble but decides he cannot ignore her strong spirit and offers her a way to manifest her mana.

With Melida able to use mana for the first time Kufa must keep his actions a secret from Melida's family and from his guild, White Knight, or both he and Melida will be executed.

So here we have a Combat School anime mixed in with political intrigue and assassins. Nothing too out of the ordinary. Though my interest in this anime didn’t come from the mere announcement. Rather, it came from the manga that I read online almost a year ago that has slowly (extremely slowly) been updating.

And as of me posting this essay, this anime is gone through 10 chapters of that manga in 2 episodes. 

That’s... insanely fast pacing, and skipping quite a lot of important context. However, despite this I think the anime’s team might be in the right to do this, or at least I can see a bit of their logic behind this choice. 

But... before I go into that, I want to talk a bit about that manga in question and the things that made me gravitate toward. Mostly so I can have a Rambling this is more about the positives than the negative, as my last few have been... less than kind toward any series I talk about.

Ah, but I’ve rambled a little too long, let’s get to the first part this manga that I like, which is...

The Intrigue

If there’s one thing I enjoy about the manga it’s the way it shows how the nobility is. Like the synopsis said, the noble class usually inherits the ability to use mana, and specifically families can even inherit unique and powerful classes like Paladin, Dragon Knight, and Magic Knight. These are people raised to be warriors to fight demons, as well as represent their families and schools in tournaments and competition. So being in the noble class creates quite a lot of pressure to achieve and perform at a level that’s acceptable, if not extraordinary. The pressure is on these kids to do their best and live up to their family names, and the fact that Melida can’t even use mana leaves her ostracized and bullied. And the manga makes sure you know this. She’s taunted and mocked by her classmates at every turn. You see the impossible gap that a normal human without mana is would have to cross. You Melida get knocked down both physically and emotionally by those around her save for her maids. And you see just how little her father cares for her because of it. Not through his direct action, but the fact that Melida’s maids are the youngest, least experienced attendants throughout the family. That Melida herself is forced to live alone in the family’s spare manor instead of directly with her father. And boy did chapter 10 show just how much of a jackass her father is with only a few words and cold glare. This is a nobleman alright. 

And seeing all this just makes me want Kufa to succeed in making Melida into a great noble and fighter. Even if he has to cheat and break from his original mission to do it, just seeing Melida throw all that bile back into the faces of those who spat on her will be well worth it. To quote the man himself:

“That right there is the warrior you all called useless!”

Ah, but speaking of her teacher...

Kufa

This might be a little weird to mention now, but Kufa reminds me a lot of Zeabolos from Trillion: God of Destruction. I talk a little about that game here when discussing Idea Factory games last year, saying that Zeabolos was a good main character for having an actual personality and goals that didn’t just reveal around the main cast. Kufa is very similar in that regard. Both are older males past 20 with relations and interactions around a namely young female cast. Both have those relations played more realistically than pandering. In Zeabolos’s case, his female cast consisted of his nieces, cousins, sisters, and close friends. People he treated as family and not like awkward crushes, making those interactions heartfelt and fun to see, even the more pandering things, as Zeabolos rightfully doesn’t blush and get flustered around his own family save for Ashmedia who purposefully always tries to throw him off his game. 

In the same vein, Kufa treats Melida as his student first and foremost.He trains her in combat, scolds her when she falters too far, praises her when she succeeds, and basically acts as a better father figure than Melida’s real father could ever be. It’s a cute relationship, and it doesn’t end their. He teases and mocks fellow tutor Rosetti, not only keep her and her student at arm’s length but also because she’s enough of a ditz to fall for his taunts. He treats those that bullied and teased Melida... rather... harshly for understandable reasons. Point being, the author understood that Kufa was a person first, and character second, something a lot of other writers in the medium usually fail at. 

Plus, the dude actually has some pretty wicked fight scenes. He’s about as over-powered as most male protags in this kind of story, but since the story made sure to show the audience he’s an instructor and assassin by trade, we expect him to be strong from the get-go and can safely continue the story knowing the tension comes less from a powerful enemy, but rather the power system of government and oppression that a kamehameha can’t just blast away. 

Ah, but I’ve spoken a bit too long about the teacher and failed to mention much about the student. So let’s talk about the girl herself.

Melida

Boy… it’s no wonder Kufa would rather risk his life than kill this girl for someone’s political gain. Like I said when discussing the intrigue, she’s constantly put down for her lack of mana despite her hardworking nature. Even though she can use mana she’s still an accomplished swordsman and exemplary student. She trains her body everyday, she studies as hard as she can, and for all her effort... she just gets kicked down by everyone else. Her friends, her family, and up until Kufa came into her life and helped her gain mana all she had were her inexperienced maids.Until Kufa showed up she had to take every bit of venom thrown at her with a smile and laugh. She suffers a lot in those first few chapters, and you really want someone to save, to help her accomplish her dream of being a great noble and fighter. No only for herself, but to honor her late mother who everyone claimed was a part of an affair and that Melida herself isn’t even a true woman of the Angel.

And Kufa does, at the risk of both his own and her life.

And after that, we truly get to see Melida shine as the brave soul she is, now that she has the power and is slowly gain the skill to back up that bravery. It’s a nice foil to her cousin Elisa, a fellow student who does possess Angel blood, has gain the esteemed and rare class of Paladin, is rather powerful in her own right... but is an expressionless, cowardly girl that’s almost too frightened to face the demons. I’d go on to discuss Elise and her tutor Rosetti, but... this Rambling is getting long enough, so... more on.

Other Small Things Allen Likes

Just going to put this in list form for the sake of my sanity as well as the sake of moving on to my final point quickly. That said, here are some other small things I enjoy about the Assassins Pride manga: 

The world-building is surprisingly engaging to me. A world trapped in perpetual night with warriors of light being the only thing keeping away further darkness, along with the last bastion of humanity being a literal chandelier city in case you missed the symbolism is... surprisingly effective.

There have been some good fight scenes throughout the manga so far. Not many within the 20 chapters mind you, but all of which had some good build-up to them and rewarding conclusions.

Kufa not only succeeds as a serious character, but is the source of a lot of the comedy as well. The manga takes good advantage of throwing this cold, serious assassin off his game enough to be funny at times.

The expressions in this manga are done very well. Half the reason Kufa is so effective are the moments with the artist finally decided to give him a really dark or comedic expression.

Okay... now that I’ve gotten everything off my chest about the manga, it’s about time I finally discussed...

The Anime

Since only two episodes of the anime have came out as of the time of this essay I’ll try keep this short, but… no promises.

Now, in two episodes we’re already at chapter 11 of the manga. That’s… very quick. And chapters 1-11 did a lot of that build-up I was talking about in the last few sections of this essay. To skip all of that really does give this anime a mediocre feel to it, like it just wants to get to the big action shots and give more of a “best scenes” montage than a story.

That said, this isn’t a bad thing. As another anime did something similar...

Yes folks, Allen X is going to compare the action-drama combat school Assassins Pride to the bombastic sports parody Keijo!!!!!!!! 

If that disturbs you’re free to leave now, I’m going to continue.

Now, if you’ll mind the comparison, Keijo!!!!!!!! skipped its entire first arc in its anime adaption, over 20 chapters of manga, and the end result was honestly better for it. When you understood the context and plot of "Butt Battle Anime” you didn’t need much else. At that point, you can jump straight into the second arc that focused on developing techniques and had diverse battles for each main character. The exposition and characterization could be explain later, or even skipped if your suspension of disbelief could accept Keijo for what it was, an action-packed sports parody. 

At the same time, for all the good build-up the manga does, I can also admit that if you understand that context and plot of “Combat School with Assassin Teacher and Aristocratic Intrigue” you can probably follow the rest of the series just fine. You don’t need to know how classes work to the letter if you can see them in action in the tournaments and battles. You don’t need to know all the trauma and suffer Melida has been through if you got the point after episode one, as it’d be needless suffer-porn. You don’t need to know how deep in trouble Kufa is for going against his guild’s orders if... well, spoiler events happen in the next few episodes that will very much show how determined Kufa’s guild is to get rid of Melida. I’d also like to add that even with online fan-translations the manga only has 20 chapters available. 

And twenty chapters of manga isn’t enough to cover a 12-episode anime. 

I’m willing to be something that happens around the 30s will be conclusive enough, but the anime has to skip a lot to get to the meat of the plot. Actually, I know this is the case. Here is a link to the Assassins Pride anime’s english website. If you go to the character selection it’ll give you a list of the main cast. This cast consists of Kufa and Melida, the main character. Elise and Rosetti, the main characters’ foils. Nerva, the antagonist of these first 2 episodes. And... 3 characters we aren’t familiar with yet. These 3 in particular are revealed and explained in the latest arc, but as they just got revealed in chapters 19 and 20 and the manga has once again slowed down its updates as fan translations tend to do... we can only speculate what their purpose is. This tells me the latest arc will be not only meaty, but also intense with a main cast this small. 

I’ve got hopes for this anime despite my nervous feelings. And I hope the show exceeds my expectations. 

At the very least, Share the Light is a stellar song for an OP, and the OP itself is done well too. If this song is the only good part about this adaption… then I think at least something good came out of it. 

...

...

...

Usually, this would be the part where I once again lament the lost of the line break feature on Tumblr and awkwardly move on to my conclusion. However... there’s some things I have to get off my chest. Nothing related to Assassins Pride, but to the manga community in general that tends to scream and moan about the book being better than the movie one too many times for liking. So...

Allen’s Grievance

Again, this has nothing to do with Assassins Pride, so feel free to move on to the conclusion if your done reading my mad ramblings. However, there are a few things I have to get off my chest when it comes to comparing manga panels to animation frames:

First, let me say this: Anyone saying the manga is source material to the anime just became irrelevant. Assassins Pride was originally a light novel published in 2016 with 11 novels out as of this essay. To mention the manga as the main source is not only ignorance, but also arrogance, which is an almost unforgivable sin in my book toward anyone acting as a critic.

As someone who’s trying to write his own story I’ll also say there’s a huge difference between serialized writing and writing for a show. I’m not in the animation or show-writing business, so I can’t speak on that end, but in terms of serialization the focus is more on quantity than quality. It’s not just about writing a good story, it’s about writing a continuous story with frequent/timely updates at a consistent rate of quality. I can’t speak for the writer of Assassins Pride, but most places I’ve went to for advice in this regard focus on consistency of writing more than quality of writing. This type of environment creates a lot of downsides, but having this understanding also means that Assassins Pride, being a serialized story, likely has a focus on a long story to keep selling rather than focusing on overall quality. 

To that point, by the way the manga explains it, this story is suppose to cover at least 3 years of Melida’s life. Now timeskips will likely happen, but that’s a huge amount of content if they pace it right, and impossible for a 12-episode show to adapt well without cutting some corners in its own pacing, hence the reason they’re skipping this first arc’s details to get into the meat of the second arc.

And need I remind everyone that read the manga that you are likely pirating it for free. I’ve yet to hear of any overseas translation or sells of the light novel yet, so most people complaining about this point likely didn’t read this manga legally. I’ll fully admit I didn’t either, but I also believe most people should put their money where their mouth is. Literally. The main reason the manga translations are so slow is likely because the fan translators aren’t doing this as an actual job, but either for fun or for patreon money. And translators... you can honestly get better money translating hentai. Believe you me, there’s a big market for it and you’d be surprised how many people want context for their Japanese/Korean/Chinese porn.

As I mentioned before, you can understand a lot of details by simply seeing them in motion rather than having them explained to you. The Samurai class is speedy, the Gladiator class is a good attack, the Paladin class is an advance combat/support class, the Maiden/Dancer class is good a mid-range. These things can be shown through the animations and fight scenes rather than having a character explain it. The anime can easily show more than tell, and people need to realize a lot of manga, comics, and novels are guilty of overdoing exposition.

I could go on with my annoyance, I really could, but I’m going to stop their before this thing gets to over 4,000 words. 

So...

Conclusion

In short, I’m cautious, but I’m not disappoint… yet.

I’ll keep an eye on this anime. If anything, it definitely looks pretty, the fight scenes have been down well so far, and seeing Melida be cute in full color is great. If I just get a decent action series out of this anime, I’ll be happy. And hey, maybe the light novel and manga will be translated and sent to the west too. Here’s hoping.

Anyway, that’ll do for me. I’m gonna’ try and post something weekly again. Not so much a weekly update, but just essays in general.

Gormless Ch. 11 –  I’m Korma for you, imperialistic dogs

A well-meaning friend gave me a book series that is hilariously bad. The first book was Souless and my riffs were entitled brainless. This second book is entitled Changless and these riff are then gormless.

I mean to say I have entitled them gormless! Not that my riffs are dumb, and the effort I spend on them stupid since I’m the only one who enjoys them. HAHA!

The story is SUPPOSED TO be about how a badass lady wearing a rad-looking carriage dress hits baddies with her umbrella and bangs her hot werewolf husband.  In reality it’s mostly poor attempts at being witty, flirty, and superior.

For the last book check out the brainless tag.

If you want the TL;DR version but want to read these new riffs anyway?

This story is set in supernatural Victorian steampunk England.  Alexia is our NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS protag.  She is a soulless, which means she’s able to negate the abilities of vampires and werewolves by touching them. She’s recently married a big oaf, named Lord Connel Maccon.  He’s the manchild in charge of the supernatural police with a zillion dollars and he’s totes super hot too ok.  Their relationship is mostly arguments about how Maccon can’t tell her fucking anything.  Alexia has also recently become head of ~Soulless affairs~ in Queen Victoria’s government.  She has a dumb friend named Ivy, a gay vampire friend named Akeldama, a family who’s evil because they do the same shit as her but while being blonde, and most importantly Alexia is better than everyone cause…cause.

Last time on Gormless:

There’s some mysterious force that’s turning the Vampires and werewolves into humans. Alexia is in charge of figuring out that deal, and she is doing a bad job at it.  They are at her husband’s old pack castle about it.  Are they hiding something?????

Chapter 11 – I’m Korma for you, imperialistic dogs

Okay despite my grumblings on the lack of shit that happened last chapter.  This chapter comes in HOT!  And by HOT, I mean RACIST!

Basically everybody is taking a leisurely walk in the garden.  Ivy asks the military bros about, “how brave they are to fight the ~primitives~ in India.”

HAHA OKAY! LET’S JUST KEEP TRUCKING!

Maccon says it’s just minor pacification at this point, thus implying that he’s done the same sort of business which is super good and great.  

Oh but here’s a big old sticking point for me, one of the military bros says the food in India is terrible.  I will preface this by saying I have only probably had ~Americanized~ Indian food from restaurants or used generic recipe websites.  So we can have a discussion on whether I have had ~authentic~ Indian food and if ~authentic~ food is even a thing.

BUT INDIAN FOOD IS ONE OF THE MOST WELL-RESPECTED CUISINES IN THE WORLD, AND BRITISH PEOPLE, RIGHTLY LOVE IT!  WHAT I HAVE HAD HAS BEEN UTTERLY INCREDIBLE AND I WHAT LITTLE I KNOW ABOUT IT MAKES IT IMPRESSIVE AND WONDERFUL AND GO FUCK YOURSELF!

THIS IS A HILL I WILL DIE ON!  I don’t delete comments for much but if anybody comments on this chapter with even, “Indian food is just okay” COMMENT DELETED!

In this story’s defense, perhaps they think the food is bad because the Indian individuals preparing food for the exploitative brutes just took a dump on a plate and put a leaf on top.

Okay so while I fantasized about rubbing vindaloo directly into the eyes of these dipshit characters I continued…Alexia gets snippy with these military bros…but not over any of the racist horseshit, she tries to start shit over them describing Egyptian and Indian weather as hot. And maybe the author is trying to take pot-shots at these fuckers, but like why is she making snippy comments about how they describe the FUCKING weather instead of standing up for Indian people? Also Ivy was the one who started by calling them ~primitives~ but she’s not concerned with Ivy at all.  Also don’t @ me with whore shit like, “Well Ivy is supposed to be dumb” dumb people aren’t automatically racist fuck off.

We move on to find out that the Kingair pack STOLE ARTIFACTS including ACTUAL FUCKING MUMMIES from Egypt when they passed through.  THANKFULLY there is a blip of sanity when Maccon says that’s illegal.

Yet it gets SO MUCH WORSE when Alexia proposes a good old fashioned

MUMMY UNWRAPPING PARTY!

Which everybody gets super excited about.  Those by the way were REAL THINGS in Victorian England. JUST IN CASE YOU NEEDED TO KNOW!

Maccon and Alexia go aside a moment where Alexia says the humanization is obviously coming from the artifacts they brought back and that Maccon should have them confiscated since they are illegally gained.  They go back and forth about what to DO with them once they’re confiscated, and both agree that destroying them would be a bad idea…but they don’t bring up the fact you could I DON’T KNOW just return them to the country of origin? HAHA okay.

They head back to the castle and LeFoux, in proper dramatic fashion, is racing toward them saying some cliffhanger shit like, “10 dramatic turns this book could take but won’t! #7 will shock you!”  But before she’s able post some hilarious reaction memes she gets SHOT in the back! DUN DUN DUN!

Then they’re getting shot at and hiding behind the umbrella cause THAT’S FOOL-PROOF but eventually are able to get everybody inside the castle.

And here they just forget anything interesting was going to happen.

Nobody seems concerned with combing the castle to find the gunman in one of these towers.  I have done a few active shooter drills at my place of work, and you know what’s a big part of that?  If the shooter isn’t found just literally forget about them.  What could be the harm?  

Instead they fuss over LeFoux with Alexia wondering, “Was she really shot? Is she faking? Is she behind all of this?” And it’s like YOU LEGIT JUST WATCHED HER GET SHOT AND WHILE SHE WAS ON THE GROUND MORE BULLETS WERE WHIZZING BY YOU! EVEN IF SHE IS, IT SEEMS LIKELY THERE IS SOMEONE ELSE INVOLVED! By the way when I say fussed over there is no description of them bandaging any wounds or anything.  They don’t state outright here but in next chapter they talk about how it’s all tranquilizer bullets. It’d be nice if they mentioned it...you know this chapter.  It honestly felt like they had just propped a woman bleeding out in a chair and talked about how she’s probably behind her own impending death.

This would have been a great moment dramatic moment for them to expose LeFoux’s neck for Maccon to see the Hypocras tattoo. Imagine Maccon losing his shit that they let a Hypocras Crony in their mist, and when he finds out Alexia had seen the tattoo before, gets even loonier.  Alexia is ashamed that the intimacy she shared with LeFoux was perhaps cheating mixed with the shame of same-sex attraction, and kept her around in hopes that she could learn something more about her deceased father from her but instead just endangered everyone.

WASTED OPPORTUNITY!

Alexia then sneaks off to chat with Sidheag. When Alexia first met Sidheag she made a mental note of instantly liking her. This conversation starts with Alexia mentally stating that she’s ~decided to hate her.~ BITCH OVER WHAT? You’re being treated well in this castle, and she’s been polite despite you insulting her castle at every fucking turn.  Alexia just hasn’t been hitting that self-misogyny quota!

Let’s start with the good part of this conversation.  Alexia asks Sidheag about how she feels about what her great granddad did to the clan.  Sidheag says she was 16 and off at school when it happened. (Though at one point Alexia says that Sidheag is not holding a tea cup right and thus implies she never went to finishing school at all…and it’s like…are you trying to throw a seed of doubt that she’s lying about everything? I mean that’s cool but like I think it’s kinda a big jump from ~holds tea cup in different way.~)

Anyway while Sidheag agrees with his politics, she thinks he could have handled it better. She suggests he should have killed/kicked out more of the top members involved in the attempted murder instead of just skipping town entirely.  I was surprised to see the author give this situation more depth than just, “MACCON IS RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING CAUSE HE IS BEST MAN!” So that’s the good part.

It seems odd that Maccon only punished 1 person despite it being a clan-wide problem. When Sidheag got back from school he put her and her boyfriend (whom was not part of the clan) in charge and everything just went peachy after that. REALLY? Seems to me the bitter leftovers from that dispute would really fucking resent a teenage human grandchild of the big bad ex-leader who hadn’t been spending much time there and her no-name boyfriend showing up to run things.  If they were going to kill a queen, it doesn’t seem below them to murder the two of them, especially with nobody there to protect them.

BUT THE FUCK DO I KNOW?

Most of the conversation is more of the “I WANT GRANDADDY TO TURN ME INTO A WEREWOLF!” Which…we had that conversation before, but at least Alexia decides she wants to support her in this.  Maccon is cranky when brought up but understands.  Their room is ransacked, but her bag is safe.  Alexia thinks that what LeFoux wanted to tell her probably involved the Aethongrapher, but she decides NOT to check it out cause ??????????? Maccon says that Tunstell brought him a special gun and they get ready for dinner.  The chapter ends with Alexia making the super clever deduction that Maccon has had the ulterior motive of trying to ~fix~ his old pack.  

And wow holy shit there Alexia

Sooooooo smart!  This is something that really needed to be pointed out too! Greaaaaaaaaaat.

This is especially infuriating due to how it’s written Full quote:

“…You must agree I have a point.”

He turned to frown up at her.  “I hate it when you come over all correct.”

Alexia trotted down the staircase until they were nose to nose. She had to stand one step up from him for it to be so. She kissed him softly. “I know.  But I am so very good at it.”

She’s praised for the deduction that didn’t even need to be stated, smugs up the place, and the fucking line, “Come over all correct.”  MAYBE IT’S JUST ME BUT THESE SAD ATTEMPTS OF TRYING TO SOUND PERIOD APPROPRIATE MAKE ME WANT TO YARF!

Also let me point out that Maccon has only started drama, gotten into a fist-fight, and try to or have sex with his wife the entire time he’s been there. Alexia has actually done more than he has for the clan and she hasn’t even been trying.

OH YEAH AND WE JUST GONNA FORGET SOMEONE GOT SHOT AND THE SHOOTER IS HANGING OUT IN THE CASTLE WITH YOU ALL RIGHT NOW? OKAY SURE?

Say something nice Faps:

At least something fucking happened this chapter.

I do genuinely like how Sidheag disagrees with how her great grandfather did things and she’s not demonized for it…at least not yet. I will dunk myself in boiling oil if it’s revealed that SIDHEAG IS BIG BAD CAUSE OF NOT HOLDING A TEA CUP RIGHT.

Sidheag is cool, can we not pick on her ever again?

Super looking forward to do aggressive racism of the mummy unwrapping party y’all!

Crowbar Nurse   Chapter 7 — An Unstoppable Hellish Army (of up to 10 People) Pops up out of Nowhere

“—Sera, hold on. There’s something weird.”

Our silly conversation ended abruptly when Kiryū raised his palm up, halting me in my tracks.

“The hell is going on there?” “Ah, that’s…”

I squinted into the distance. Ahead of us in the street was a crowd of people.

A crowd of people? Or was it a crowd of zombies?

There was a middle-aged man waiting around three zombies that were standing up straight with very good posture. It’s seemingly as if the man was just waiting to be attacked.

The only real movement was his breathing. Other than that, the man didn’t look like he is even trying to get away from the zombies. That’s a very curious situation.

“Hmm… it’s shocking how they are all just standing up so stiffly… maybe the three zombies are scripted to attack the NPC and correspondingly, the NPC is scripted to be attacked by them?” “Say what?” “In this game, there are often times where you can save people who are being attacked by zombies… they call them ‘survivors’.”

I pointed over to the four of them.

“The middle-aged man should be one of the survivors. He’s always scripted to be attacked around there… but I’ve never seen them just standing up straight like that. Maybe it’s a bug.” “Or maybe we just haven’t triggered them yet.”

“You know how we’re backtracking through the stage? Well, I’d wager that the zombies are scripted to attack when the protagonist gets close enough when going the correct way.” “Oh, I see, that makes sense.” “I’m not 100% on it, but it sounds reasonable, right?” “No, I’m confident you’re right.”

I had the feeling that Kiryū is someone who speaks almost too carefully as I shouldered my rifle.

“… well, that works to our advantage. Let’s do it.” “Hey, don’t go killing every zombie you see.” “But I’d like to save him.”

My bullets quickly found their way to the zombies and we walk up to the middle-aged man.

“… I’m guessing he’s thanking us in English.” “That’s right, as the official language of Confi City is English. This is exactly how they say thanks in the game as well… he’s a bona fide survivor.”

I ran around the NPC and then walked away from him with a satisfied smile on my face. The middle-aged man maintained a small distance as he followed me around. He would sometimes roll his neck or look around frightened at his surroundings with fright, but otherwise, he was generally emotionless.

… just like how they are in the game.

The man kept a blank face as he followed us around. When I picked up a broken off chunk of concrete off the street and handed it to him, he looked a bit more stern and brave as he wielded it a weapon.

“—Alright, we’re in business! That’s step one to raising an unstoppable army from hell!” “Wha—?!”

Kiryū was bewildered by what I had said.

“This regular everyday normal geezer… is our unstoppable army from hell…?” “…” “…”

We stood there in mutual silence.

“… sh-shut up! I told you it’s step one!”

I scrambled to quip back before falling back into silence.

“When you rescue NPCs in this game, they’ll follow the protagonist around. Give them a weapon and they’ll help you fight too!” We’ll rescue more and more of these survivors to build ourselves an unstoppable army. It’s all part of the plan!” “Man, you sure about this? The dude looks like he’s never even gotten in a fistfight before.”

Kiryū spoke as he pointed at the man. He’s right in that the middle-aged man is scrawny and doesn’t look like he’d be good in combat.

“The more we fight, the more we’ll level up. We’ll be fine. You get only a maximum of five followers in the game, but we’ll be so much stronger even with just five extra people… we’ll be an unstoppable hellish army….”

I pondered on my plan to raise an unstoppable hellish army to which Kiryū had nothing he could say but to simply mutually make eye contact with the old man. —but eventually, Kiryū’s eyes opened wide as he snapped his fingers.

“… I’ve got it.” “Huh?” “We can the soldiers in our ‘unstoppable hellish army’ as item boxes.” “What do you mean?”

I blankly blinked at Kiryū and he flashes a grin at me.

“I’ve got pockets of my own, but… look at them—they’ve got side and rear pockets too. We can stuff their pockets with herbs too and use them as walking inventory space, right?” “Oh, no…”

In other words, his plan is to pack items in the survivors’ pockets much like how Kiryū’s doing it right now. It looks so lame, I couldn’t stop myself from voicing my displeasure. However, Kiryū didn’t seem to care for my opinion and was already cramming herbs in the NPC’s pockets already, dirt and all.

“No matter how you slice it, that’s just too cruel…” “The end justifies the means, right? … besides, how much longer do you want to hold your phone in your hand?”

He points at the NPC with recently-filled pockets.

“You’ve got no pocket, right? Just stick it in any of his.” “What if he dies and disappears? I don’t want to put my phone on his body.”

I gripped my phone tightly as I shook my head at which Kiryū shrugged his shoulders.

“Alright, then pass me your phone; I’ve got an empty pocket.” “Thank you. If anything happens, could you please toss it back to me?” “Of course.”

We walked and talked at the same time and found yet more NPCs just standing around waiting to be triggered. There was a sickly pale white lady, a bad-tempered middle-aged white man, a lanky nerdy-looking white man… most of the characters in this game are white.

“… they get killed off pretty quickly, but let’s name our devils so we can tell who’s who. Let’s see… from the left, we have Bezos, Gates, Jobs, Buffett, and Zuckerberg.” “You’re really hoping for ‘eat the rich’ to happen literally, huh?”

Only a little ways more until we reach the Vital Watch. There weren’t any periods of awkward silence… or more accurately, we made sure to keep making small talk. Not that it was a bad thing though. This way, it was easier to distract ourselves from the fact that we’re inside a horror world… we were doing quite well in that regard.

—That’s right. We were merely distracting ourselves. Even in this bizarro world, it was important we stayed human and grounded.

On the way, we saved quite a few more people standing still. We gave them metal pipes, hammers, and other objects found on the ground so that we could fight and gain more experience. Everything was going smoothly.

“It looks like we can’t have more than 10 people in our squad…”

The NPC gave their thanks before continuing to stand up straight. I couldn’t help but feel a little disheartened.

“Probably because you and I are both considered as player characters and each of us can have five followers.” “Speaking of which, where’s the actual protagonist to this game?”

I scanned my surroundings as I asked my question to no one in particular.

“I wonder if we’ll meet at the starting point…”

We kept moving and came across a strange watch laying conspicuously on the ground.

“Oh, there’s our Vital Watch.” “Why’s it just sitting there in the middle of the road?” “Good question. It’s always just lying here in the game, but I’ve never really wondered why.”

I bent over to pick up it up.

“We don’t have much time to play with it, so let’s just keep it safe for now. We should hurry onwards.”

I strapped the Vital Watch to my forearm, just before the elbow.

“… why are you putting it on such a weird place?” “Huh? Because it’s more hygienic? Otherwise, it’ll get so dirty.” “Huh?” “Huh?!”

… though health professionals and engineers may disagree on where to wear a timepiece, at least we were successful in retrieving the Vital Watch.

    It was no easy task, but we’ve finally made it to the beginning of the game. We were at a parking lot with spots for eight cars. Concrete walls surrounded us with burning cars and toppled trucks. There were also two zombies which were supposed to attack the protagonist… but maybe because they haven’t been triggered yet, they stood rigidly upright as well. Then I found something big. There was someone else standing upright… or it’d be more accurate to say he was standing in an odd pose—it was the protagonist of this game.

“Gah, look! It’s Nick! That’s Nick over there!”

I screamed out loud as I rushed over to the middle of the parking lot. Every one of the devils in our unstoppable army from hell clobbered the zombies with their weapons.

“Oh, I’ve seen Nick at the game show. So, he’s the protag, eh?” “What’s wrong with him…? He’s standing there like his character just got dropped into a level editor.” “You’re right… he’s just A-posing there.”

Kiryū corrected me with a more technical, detailed term.

“What… what should we do? We’ve got to get Nick out of here.”

Pushing and pulling did nothing to awaken him.

“Come with me if you want to live.”

Kiryū said with a smug look on his face.

“Wow, okay…” “You know, like Arnold Schwarzenegger as the Terminator? Hey, those were great movies.” “I mean, sure, but it sure dates you.”

Nick didn’t react at all to Kiryū’s one-liner, for better or for worse. I tried dragging him by the arm again. It was an odd sensation, so smooth and weightless. Nick didn’t seem like a human being… but rather an object.

“Well, we can just leave him here, can’t we? It might be safer if he stayed put so he won’t trigger any event flags.”

Kiryū shrugged as he spoke.

“Umm, would that mean that we won’t have to fight any bosses? That sounds too nice to be true…” “Iunno. Since we were able to get these survivors to follow us around, that would make us the protagonists… it might be possible that we’ll trigger the flags and we’ll have to fight the bosses like in the actual game.”

What he meant was that we’ll have to find out ourselves. I nodded along to him… until I remembered something he said.

“That reminds me, Kiryū. I’ve brought you here to the start of the game. What did you mean by breaking out of the game?” “Oh, that’s right. I was watching a video about bug testing and I was just thinking… if we keep our chins up and look for them, I’m sure we’ll come across some.” “Look for them?” “Yeah.”

He walked over to the far end of the parking lot… and before I knew it, he jumped head-first into the wall.

“Ow! That hurts!” “I would imagine so! What are you doing?!”

Kiryū squatted down clutching his head.

“I was hoping to find a buggy spot in the physics engine…” “What do you mean?” “Like clipping through walls and such.”

He might have hurt his head, but he was still able to thoroughly explain what he meant.

“In some buggy spots of a game, you can jump over and over again into the wall and slowly go deeper inside it. Then, eventually…” “You go out of bounds…”

I didn’t know you could do that.

“Now that you mention it, I’ve written about bugs in this game on my personal walkthrough blog… but I don’t want you to hurt yourself trying to find them either…” “…” “Kiryū, I think you’re an incredible person, but perhaps… you’re incredibly dumb.” “… shuddup…”

I let him stew for a moment, but then suddenly, there was a loud scream outside of the parking lot.

“Wha… what was that?!”

We both looked behind us…

Oh, no, no, no, no…!

Our unstoppable hellish army (all 10 of its members) were being attacked by a swarm of special zombies!

■Doom

A retro PC shooter, Doom is considered a classic by most people in their 30s and 40s in the West. For years, Doom was considered to be the game that defined the first-person shooter genre. Players control the protagonist—a brawny man slightly younger than middle age—and his arsenal of guns to single-mindedly blast away hordes of monsters from Hell (sometimes depicted as an army from Hell). Some may find this novel to be grotesque with its merciless depictions of gore, but it was for that exact reason why Doom was an incredible success in its day. The gibs and gore won the hearts of kids and the kids-at-heart. With over 10 million copies sold across every conceivable platform, this game is also famous for being ported to everything from cell phones to calculators. It has even seen theatrical releases and novel adaptations. In its day, Doom was notorious for the amount of gore, as unrealistic as it may be. It was perhaps the first video game to have such a great controversy over its graphic depictions of violence. Still, Doom is a game cherished by many and players continue to modify and add to the game—early versions of which were labeled “Doom clones”. Doom leaves behind a great legacy, both technical and historical.

contents: /ch001/ /ch002/ /ch003/ /ch004/ /ch005/ /ch006/ /ch007/ /next/

(leave me a tip on Patreon?)

(Thieves in Inaba) Nanako's getting curious? And the other two protags are gonna do what??

Thieves in Inaba Part 41

As Nanoko sleeps…she has a strange dream. Her Big Bro…and two of his new friends are trying to fight off a hoard of monsters. But they seem to be losing badly. It’s not long before all three of them become chained to a wall by some sort of monster man. The area is shrouded in deep red mist, with a lot more monsters peaking out from within it’s shroud. But…she can’t do anything…all she can do is watch. 

This event is being played out in real time…Yu and Ren are struggling, chains rattling as they try their hardest to summon their Persona. 

“Minato! You need to snap out of this!” Yu calls out, screaming as the chains start to tighten around his chest. “This isn’t real! It’s all in your head!” His voice is weak as it becomes harder to breathe, the evidence of this is shown in his real body back with the others.

“I couldn’t save them…why did I even come back…all I did was put them in danger…” Yu’s words aren’t getting though to the blue haired fool. He doesn’t struggle, as if he’s finally starting to accept his fate.

“Goddamnit! I’m not letting this end here, no way in hell!” Ren tries his hardest to break free, but he can’t. But then…his gun falls out of his coat. And a light-bulb goes off in his head. “That’s it! These stupid boots are good for something…” With that, Ren carefully reaches for the trigger with his right foot…should he be able to fire a shot, it could hit his chains and allow him to free the others…if it doesn’t ricochet that is..

“Careful, Joker…” Yu breathes. “One misfire and…” But as he tries to speak, the chains tighten once again. “NGH!” It’s becoming even harder for Yu to breathe, he’s close to passing out at this point. 

“BIG BRO!” Nanako reaches her hand out, but she still can’t touch him…but somehow…The Justice arcana card appears before Yu. Was it her desire to save him? 

Yu looks at the card as it floats before him, unable to speak he silently looks to Ren as if telling him to shoot the card. 

“Please tell me you’re not serious, if the bullet hits you…that’s it!”

Yu’s expression hardens, and Ren grants a sigh of acknowledgement. This was their only chance after all… Kicking the pistol up in the air he balances it on one foot and takes as careful aim as he can..

“I saw this in the movies once…and if cognition allows…I should be able to just…” He fires, shattering the card and sending fourth the Persona within: Sraosha. It sends fourth Brave Blade, freeing Yu. 

“Thank god…” Yu smiles, sending Sraosha to free the other two. With all three free, all that was left is to snap Minato out of this trance. 

“I have a feeling we don’t have much time man.” Ren states as he bends down to grab his gun. “What should we do to snap him out of it? Words aren’t doing much…” 

Minato is making no moves to fight back as Shadows start to close in on the trio. Yu starts to think, before he realizes something that should have been obvious from the start. 

“Ren, when your teammates are hit with any sort of ailment, what do you normally do?” 

“Slap the crap outta them, why? …waiiiit.” 

“If this is caused by a shadow, then it should be able to be cured like any other ailment.” Yu smirks. 

Ren nods, and goes to snap Minato out of it…but instead of slapping him he decks him square in the face. 

“Ngh!” Minato rubs his cheeks. “What the hell….” 

“I thought you said slap.” Yu shakes his head. 

“Look I’m not the one who normally does it okay? It’s the others!” Ren looks over at Minato, who seems to be out of his trance. 

“Okay…where are we now exactly?” He asks, looking around. “There’s a whole bunch of Shadows…but it’s just us three…”

“Long story short, ol’ Deathy got you under a spell. I’m thinking if we kill these shadows…the spell will be done for.” Joker twirls his gun as he readies to attack. 

“You able to fight?” Yu asks with concern in his voice. 

“Of course, if we need to kill these things…then lets do it as a team.” With that, all three Persona users ready themselves…this was the final push to break Minato out of this…

Evoker fires, Tarrot Card shatters and a mask fades into flames in perfect unison as their Ultimate Persona stand before the hoard of Shadows before them.

“This is all in my head right? Well then let’s show them who the real master of this realm is. GO!” With that, Minato charges as Messiah follows behind him. 

Yu and Ren follow closley, killing off any and all stragglers left behind by Minato’s rampage. The cries and wails of felled Shadows grow in volume until the whole area is seemingly covered in the dying breath of the creatures. 

Death Bringer himself has seemingly left during the carnage…and the hellscape around them seems to fade away slowly…

Nanako giggles. “Good job Big Bro! I knew you could do it!” 

Yu looks around, he could have sworn he heard Nanako speak…but he can’t see her anywhere. He shrugs and smiles. “You were the biggest help, Nanako…had that card not appeared…” 

With that, the Wild Card trio leave Minato’s head as well as the Velvet Room….waking back up in the bathroom to their anxious teammates. 

“You guys…seriously did it….” Mishima states, completely stunned.

final fantasy!

I wasn’t sure if I should include Bravely Default or not because ohhh man I have some fuckin Thoughts, so I’ll just do one for mainline FF and one for Bravely Default.

The first character I first fell in love with: 

Tidus left a strong impression on me as a kid due to the way FFX ended, and I still really like him, but I wouldn’t say I was ever in love with him. On the other hand, Fang from FFXIII turned me gay.

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: 

Kuja, I think? As much as I will maintain that he is the objective best FF villain until the day I die, and as much as that outfit is IC for him, it’s still, uh. Not good. It’s not even that it’s too feminine, it’s just fucking ugly, lmao. Doesn’t make for a great first impression. But god fucking damn, he is very, very good. Maybe at some point I’ll whip up a meta about him, but I’m not sure what to say that hasn’t been covered already.

The character everyone else loves that I don’t: 

Sephiroth. He’s got a cool design, a great theme song (those chosen by the planet, not one winged angel), and a phenomenally intimidating presence. But the thing is, as far as FF7 itself is concerned, he’s barely a character. He’s long dead by the time of the game and exists only as an echo of the past and a manifestation of Cloud’s psychological problems. By the end, he’s more Jenova (who herself is more a force of nature than a character) than himself imo. He works because of what he represents, and the mystery surrounding him, not because of who he is. Hailing him as the “best FF villain” misses the point. I feel like Squeenix themselves don’t get what was great about Sephiroth, since we keep getting these immensely fucking bland villains like Vayne, Caius, and Ardyn that are clearly trying to recapture the Sephiroth magic by focusing on the cool factor or the relationship with the protag or whatever when none of that is why Sephiroth worked in FF7 to begin with.

The character I love that everyone else hates: 

Vanille. Yeah the English voice direction was awful, yeah the noises she makes when riding her eidolon are immensely fucking uncomfortable, but she’s actually a really interesting character who deserved more time to shine, and I maintain that she should have been the protag of FF13 rather than Pink Squall. Since she has like, y’know, a much more direct hand in the entire plot of the goddamn game.

The character I used to love but don’t any longer: 

uuuuuuuhhh I really don’t know. Maybe Kain. I used to think he was the shit but now I’m just like “haha, mr. friendzone at it again.” Or maybe Cloud, thanks to Advent Children taking a steaming dump on his personality in the name of fanservice.

The character I would totally smooch: 

FANG. SHE IS SO FUCKING HOT GOOD LORD I’M GAY. Also Rydia. Uh, adult Rydia, that is.

The character I’d want to be like: 

Fang is pretty goals, but she’s a bit more butch than I personally see myself, haha. Maybe Celes, sans heterosexuality and poor taste in dudes. She’s very cool, strong, and sexy.

The character I’d slap: 

Squall I guess? Cheer Up Emo Kid!

A pairing that I love: 

Kuja/Terra! I’d toyed with the idea before thanks to Dissidia 012, but NT sold me forever. There are a lot of reasons these two work so well, the most important being that their interactions are absolutely fucking precious. The reason he freed her from Kefka’s control in the first place, apart from wanting to stick it to the asshole clown, was because he empathized with her, but when she thanked him later he downplayed the hell out of it. Terra genuinely tries to reach out to him, and he’s receptive, but aloof, and acts so theatrical about it (”If that is what Her Highness wishes.”) It’s… cute? Like, they’re both pretty damn emotionally stunted due to their, uh, irregular upbringings, and there’s so much potential there! *slams fists on table* GIVE ME MORE

A pairing that I despise: 

Come to think of it, I don’t think I have a single genuine notp in the entire Final Fantasy franchise. Even ships I don’t really care for, like Cecil/Rosa, Locke/Celes or Wakka/Lulu, I wouldn’t say I hate them, just think they’re lame and poorly written. I guess Kuja/Zidane? Yeah, yeah, I know, rich as fuck coming from me, but I just don’t like them romantically at all. The most important reason being that they’re ugly as sin together.

and now, the bravely default hot takes nobody asked for but that I will rant about at literally any given opportunity.

The first character I first fell in love with: 

EDEA!!! I love her SO MUCH! She’s an adorable, precious ENTJ child who’s so headstrong, but naive, and so endearing. Her design (in the first game–blue is not her color) is great, and she has some of the best class outfit designs as well. She’s also the main melee bulk of the party, which I find immensely refreshing in a franchise where the girls are usually mages or rogues. 

Her character arc is pretty basic, sure, but it works. For starters, she’s the best handled rebellious princess I’ve seen, in that she just flat out turns on Eternia–everything she’s ever known–with scarcely a second thought. Not because she feels trapped by the burdens of being royalty or whatever, she’s just stubborn and willful and has an iron sense of right and wrong that she’s willing to fight for above all else. Which, I mean, yeah, evil empire, but it’s not that simple. Which is why her arc is about reconciling with the fact that it isn’t all black and white, and embracing her role as eventual queen of Eternia. 

The writing is pretty hamfisted, what with her literally calling things “black and white,” but she’s 15, so I’ll give it a pass. Yeah, I know the American version aged her up to make the fanservice shit less gross, but it doesn’t really work when her character is about overcoming her childish worldview, lol. Like, she’s a babbu. You can’t just change a number and make her less babbu. Her theme song is literally called “Baby Bird.” Maybe just don’t fucking sexualize characters who are meant to be read as childish in the first place? She deserved so much better than the writing she got in Bravely Second, which I’ll… get to later, but she was still an absolute delight. Did I mention she’s also hilarious? “Oops, my foot slipped.” “You just DROPKICKED ME!”

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: 

Yew. I mean, I don’t love him as much as Edea, but Bravely Second was kind of a hot mess, if fun, and his arc pleasantly surprised me. He kind of had a similar arc as Edea in the first game, but in the opposite direction. Over the course of the game he gradually overcame his rich, upper class nerd privilege worldview and became Woke ™, and then used his privilege to help people. By contrast, Edea still had to go through the journey of getting past her simplistic worldview, but whereas she was quick to recognize the fact that her world was wrong and had to learn not to see things in extremes, Yew had to work to claw his way outside of that box in the first place. The plot twist about his brother was obvious as hell but like, whatever, it was fun. His mask didn’t even cover that much of his face, how did he not know,

The character everyone else loves that I don’t: 

Tiz. He’s boring, not much else to say there. Except, his design in Bravely Second had me excited as hell because he looks so emo and ow the edge and I was really excited to see what they were gonna do with him, but his personality is… exactly the same as the first game? Why bring him back at all? For that matter, why kill him off in the first place? I know they were going for some meta shit, but like… why?

The character I love that everyone else hates: 

Airy, but idk if that counts because I love her for precisely the reasons everyone else hates her. Even if I think the good end should have been obtained by seeing through her ruse and blowing up the crystals rather than just going along with what she says and repeating the same fucking sequence of bosses over and over…

The character I used to love but don’t any longer: 

Ringabel. Mainly for shipping reasons and because I’m increasingly exhausted with the whole chivalrous pervert trope, especially when Edea was very much underage in the first game, lmao. He’s a good character objectively speaking, but a lot of his potential wasn’t capitalized on and I still don’t get how Alternis did a complete 180 from his brooding initial personality, to… that. Or why there were AU Ringabels in the ending sequence of the first game when I thought the whole point was that he was a spanner in the works who shouldn’t have been part of the party in the first place, and that’s how they managed to foil Airy? Or, it should have been, if they didn’t literally just go along with what she said until the end despite his very clear warnings that she was up to some shady shit. The final stretch of Bravely was a fucking trainwreck, nothing new there.

The character I would totally smooch: 

Edea. But like, a forehead smooch, because she’s a babbu. Though she is 18 for real this time in Second, isn’t she? And she’s matured considerably by then too… hrm.

The character I’d want to be like: 

Edea post-character development. She’s got her shit together, and she’s still strong-willed, outgoing, and adorable as all hecke.

The character I’d slap: 

Yulyana. Fuck the quirky pervert trope, seriously. It’s not funny, it’s never been funny, and it never will be funny.

A pairing that I love: 

Well, Agnes/Olivia is the only pairing that I straightforwardly ship, and I’ll never not be mad that they just, like. Forgot about Olivia in the final stretch of the game. Like they really just killed her off for shock value, huh? Okay Sure.

I like Edea/Alternis a lot too, but it’s complicated. Reading through D’s Journal during a blind playthrough left way more of an impact on me than Ringabel’s dumb flirting, but they definitely have a lot of shit to work through before they get together. They obviously both genuinely care about each other, though Edea’s got other shit on her plate to worry about rather than Alternis being a lovelorn, emo weirdo. But like, he’s not only so emotionally distant from her despite his feelings that she doesn’t even know what his face looks like, but he’s got a weird possessive streak towards her? It might be a translation thing but the phrasing “I would have taken you as my wife” is a bit. Iffy. Especially considering a. the age gap and b. she outranks him. Of course she’s having none of this shit, but I do like the idea of them both maturing, actually bonding like human beings, and getting together when they’re older, ie: when Edea is queen and Alternis has learned to accept his fate as a permabottom. Childhood friend loyalty kink is my passion, and like, while Edea is very much a take charge no nonsense lady, she struggles with personal relationships and emotions. They both do, and that’s why their relationship is so complicated and interesting. I’d love to read slowburn of them.

A pairing that I despise: 

Rindea. But wait, you say! Didn’t you just write a whole paragraph on how you like Altdea? Well, yes. I do stand by that, and I enjoy the ship because of its problems rather than in spite of them. Rindea is. Not that. While Altdea is  a flawed relationship that I’d love to see mature into something functional along with the characters themselves, Rindea is a disgustingly written trainwreck that shits on all that potential, as well as Edea’s entire fucking character, constantly.

I don’t hate the very idea of these two as an item. The problem is how badly said item is written. Even though Rindea has the same problematic base as Altdea, which is treated as flawed, it just completely fucking glosses over all of that, everything that actually makes their relationship interesting, in favor of generic hetero pervy slap slap kiss tsundere bullshit. Yes, Ringabel’s feelings for her run deeper than that, but that’s basically all that their dynamic, their actual interactions, amount to. And for some reason she’s into it? Like, I’m sorry, but fucking when and why did she develop feelings for him? Was it before or after she learned about his true identity? Is it because he’s Alternis or in spite of it? Hell, how did she feel about that revelation in the first place? All of that is very much worth addressing, but they LITERALLY NEVER DO.

Did she just secretly like his annoying flirting all along because no obviously means yes? Like, Ringabel still fucking carries all the baggage associated with being Alternis but the game doesn’t give a fuck! It’s overbearing and weird when Alternis comes onto Edea, but when Ringabel does it it’s peak romance! He loves her so it’s okay! And we don’t know anything about Edea’s feelings for him because the game just never fucking goes into it! It’s just assumed that she must like him back! Hey, here’s a thought! Maybe if Ringabel actually loves her so much he could respect her feelings and lay the fuck off! Oh wait, no means yes, right. And don’t even get me started on Bravely Second, jesus fucking christ. You seriously mean to tell me that, according to Yoko, my girl’s only personal damage is being tfw no bf? Nothing about the stress of ruling a nation or any of her other relationships? Nothing even about how her feelings for Ringabel might actually be more fucking complicated than dokidoki take me with you ringabel kun? Absolutely Fucking Disgusting.

Listen. I like problematic ships, but Rindea is just fucking bad, and it’s made worse by the fact that canon thinks it’s good. At this point they’ve missed so many opportunities to actually expand meaningfully on Edea’s side of the relationship that it’s a lost fucking cause and I want it to die in a fire. Good lord I hate this ship and it’s exhausting being an Edea main when it’s the entire fandom’s OTP. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

I ranted more about this ship as well as the other canon Bravely ships in this post and will probably do so again when presented the opportunity.

How would Makoto, Komaru, Hajime, Shuichi and Kaede react to dying, but brought back to life as a immortal demigod and have to spend the rest of their lives outliving everyone they know?

The protags! This one got pretty angsty, whoops! I hope you still enjoy!

The Protagonists Dying & Coming Back To Life As An Immortal Demigod!

Makoto Naegi

He wasn’t afraid of dying. By no means did he think he wasimmortal, but he’s cheated death before, right?

Makoto tried remaining hopeful even in the worst situations, but everyone’stime comes some day and it seems like his luck has finally run out.

He went towards the light, only to be met with… the sun?

He was looking at the sun?

Makoto was also laying on the ground. Completely shocked, he sat upright andlooked around. Somehow, he felt different. But he couldn’t quite put his fingeron it. 

While living on Earth as a human, Makoto realized he was special. After all, hewas seen as the pinnacle of Hope, that’s why he’s an Ultimate. Everyone lookedto him in times of need. 

Now, as a Demigod, Makoto’s power went beyond anything any mortal couldcomprehend. Now, he was a staple of Hope forever. 

Although, it wasn’t all it’s cut out to be. After a while, it gets to be alittle bit tiring. Sure, everyone admired him, and he no longer had to thinkabout death.

But what if death came for those he loved? Things shifted to worrying aboutdying himself, to worrying about those he cared about. 

Makoto needed to stay positive, but it was hard when he outlived everyonearound him. No, he never directly caused it, but it started taking a toll onhim.

Surviving a Killing Game was enough, but at least those who escaped with himwere living happy lives. Being in that Game and watching his friends die wasenough emotional strain for one lifetime.

There was nothing he could do and eventually everyone around him had slowly butsurely dropped. 

Makoto feared ever getting close to anyone because he knew that he wouldsomeday lose them, so he became very reclusive and started to view others andthe world from a much greater distance than he used to.

Eventually, Makoto lost the Hope that kept him moving.

Komaru Naegi

Komaru knew that death was inevitable, and when her timecame, she was content. She had served her purpose in this world and could moveonto other things.

The world had a surprise for her, though, because she had woken up after thinkingshe closed her eyes for the last time.

It seems like the universe needed her for bigger things as she lived her newlife as a Demigod serving and watching over others.

She loved it for a long time. Her life goal was to help people and now she wasable to do this for an eternity. Nothing was more rewarding.

Every reward comes with its consequences, though.

Komaru first felt agony when her parents passed away. Then, her friends, andeventually her beloved brother Makoto. Before she realized it, she had lostmost of the people she loved and cared about.

Sometimes, she forgets that she will live on forever. This means outliving allof those around her.

It was a secret that she refused to tell anyone because she feared rejectionand losing people, so she stopped being so involved in mortal things.

Naturally, she was an upbeat and cheerful person but her brother’s deathchanged something inside of her. 

Komaru quickly descended into an emotional strain that she didn’t quiteunderstand. She never asked to be a Demigod or live out everyone else’s mortaldays. 

She did not want this job.

While it hurt her soul and took a massive toll on her, she knew that she had tokeep on. The world chose her to be an immortal for a reason, so she had to doher part, pick herself up off the ground, and continue to work as a helpfulGod. 

After all, that’s what she is meant to do.

Hajime Hinata

He was much more fearful about death. He worried that he didn’tleave his mark on the world like he should have, and didn’t leave a great impact on others.

However, that mindset changed when he was resurrected into a Demigod. 

He understood what this meant: he’d outlive everyone around him and work as aprotector of sorts, as a viewer over the world and kept the universe in check.

Hajime accepted this task despite the bitter consequences. There was nothing he could do to change his fate or go back to a simpler time when he was a mortal, so he saw no use in crying about it.

Maybe this meant that he was more important to the cosmos than he originallythought. 

He was powerful enough to become a Demigod, right? He’d reached thisstatus by working for it, or so he thought.

Hajime spent a lot of his life working his way up to the top. A lot of thetime, he was misunderstood and underestimated so moving on from the death ofloved ones was not as difficult for him as it may be with others. 

He was used to death in the real world, and each one was a lesson. Each one becameeasier than the last until he finally accepted that this was just a part of whohe was now.

The deaths of everyone he loved stopped affecting him. Slowly, Hajime becamecold and stopped caring about people.

He’s able to see the good in all the bad. It was sad, but he could look back on those he loved and smile.

And why would he care for someone who would have to leave him someday?

It got lonely, but life isn’t fair, and apparently neither is death.

He thought being a Demigod had its perks, but he learned that in order tosurvive and not succumb to the utmost Despair, he needed to push all of hisfeelings away for good. That’s exactly what he did.

Saihara Shuichi

Saihara had been around death for the majority of his mortallife. He worked as a detective and he had seen a dead body up close before.

The Killing Game also changed him. He lost the person he loved the most and wason his own from the start, so he adjusted to life by himself. 

When his timecame, he went towards the light to ease the pain.

He was surprised when he came back as a Demigod. What had he done while he wasalive to be given such a title?

It took him a long time to get used to his new abilities, power, and understandwhat all this meant. Even now, he sometimes wondered why he was picked to fillthis role.

Saihara thought that he could handle the deaths of his loved ones much easier.The Killing Game may have hardened his soul, but it’s different with family andpeople that he spent his whole life with. 

This was a reality shock that he had to face the hard way.

His detective work didn’t prepare him for being completely alone. As a human,he was used to this, but outliving everyone and everything soon grew lonely.

Saihara could deal with death, but he couldn’t deal with the feelings that came with it. He’d seen so much death in his previous life, but the loneliness was what really drove him over the edge.

He continued to ask himself and whatever higher power had picked him – Why? Whyhim, of all people? Why couldn’t he just die and move on like most people? Whywas he subjected to the psychological torture of watching everyone around him crumble?

He could no longer get close to anyone. Saihara became the shell of who he oncewas.

Now he understood why some detectives and police officers say that deathchanges you. He understands the weight of what it truly meant to be affected bydeath.

Kaede Akamatsu

She was terrified of death, but even in her last moments,she remained strong and brave for the people she loved. For their sake.

Kaede prepared herself for the end but was met with a bright light and change.Her body, mind, and soul were changed… but how? Is this what death was like?

No, she had been brought back to life to serve a higher purpose.

At first, Kaede was flattered, until reality set in. She finally understood theheight of this pressure when her parents passed away.

In death, you were supposed to be reunited with your friends and family, right?Not as a Demigod.

Once they died, she’d never see them again. It was the same as when she was amortal, only now she’d live forever and watch everyone slowly disappear.

This is definitely not what she thought it would be.

Kaede crippled into a depressed state. Eventually, she went completely mad. Ifshe could end it and stop the pain she was feeling, she definitely would. 

Death was supposed to end the pain and bring peace but she was only thrown intoa world of Hell after she died. 

She never asked to be resurrected and given thetitle of a Demigod! This is no longer what she wanted.

All she wanted to do was see those she cared about again. But she was stuck,forever. 

She wasn’t like most Demigods who could turn their emotions off and distancethemselves from humans. She was far too compassionate, which ended up hurtingher over and over again.

Kaede ended up hating what the universe had chosen for her and she felt likeshe couldn’t live up to expectations in life nor in death. She learned toaccept it, but the feeling never got easier.

- Mod Rantaro

Reflection on Attack on Titan: How the narrative failed its characters

I did a breakdown of how Attack on Titan failed the potential of its premise due to its commitment to being edgy fascist garbage, but I also want to talk about how it failed a bunch of characters who were brimming with potential.

(This is gonna be messy and loooong, because I have a lot of feelings. Someone on the last post noted my “rhetoric blows” and I will freely admit I’m not really trying for coherent “rhetoric” here, I’m just venting my frustration so I can get it all out of me and move on).

Yes, it wasn’t solely the premise that drew me and so many others to Attack on Titan and its potential. There were a lot of unique and exciting elements with the way this shonen manga handled its characters.

I said before that Isayama never cared about his characters, but that was a bit of a exaggeration. I think he did start out caring about some of them...it’s just he quickly got bored with them and started treating them solely as tools to serve the “plot” and the screwed message he wanted to impart.

Isayama does have one strength as a character writer- he excels at  showing characters who are messy, flawed and selfish but nevertheless sympathetic. Nobody in Attack on Titan is a classic unselfish “pure” hero, they are all deeply flawed. Isayama’s characters were compelling in the beginning because of that. He allowed his characters to exhibit cowardice, he allowed them to fail spectacularly, and that made Attack on Titan stand out. Despire the melodrama of their situations, actions and personalities, there’s a rawness to (most of) his characters that fits the horror of the setting.

Even the protag Eren, who a lot of people dislike or find easily the most boring character (honestly I found Levi the most boring though), has this ugliness to him that makes him distinct from the billion other teen boy protags in shonen. He is genuinely unstable and honestly a bit disturbing, as this collection of weird murderfaces he makes shows (behold my post popular aot post, ah memories).His obsession with killing Titans was unsettling, it was the classic determination of a shonen hero through a screwed up horror lens, this kid ain’t all right.

Historia especially resonated me because she was TRYING to be that classic pure heroine- but she was selfish like everyone else deep down. She just wanted to be SEEN as an pure-hearted martyr who sacrificed for others, when really all she was doing was giving into her suicidal urges. It was criticism of the very concept of the “immaculate woman”, and that’s pretty cool. So was the fact she was seen through by Ymir, someone who embraces selfishness in all other aspects of her life but is ultimately selfless when it comes to her love for Historia...that’s some good shit. It’s fantastic as a character concept, and Ymir and Historia’s initial character writing and backstory will stick with me because it was genuinely good in all its melodrama. 

Historia and Ymir were nuanced queer characters whose relationships were fleshed out well. I do believe Isayama put care into crafting their initial arcs and developing them.

But then we run into a problem. A problem that eventually we run into with every character in AOT. Isayama stops caring about them. After their initial big arcs or moments in the spotlight or backstory reveals, he just doesn’t know what to do with these characters anymore. So they completely disapppear from the manga or fade into the background only to matter again when he decides to kill them off for some cheap shock moment. Either that, or they just exist to further the narrative of how the military is cool and we have to exterminate all our enemies and blablabla.

 Because he ultimately cares about that narrative far, far more than he does giving these characters the full stories that resonate, make sense and are effectively paced. He's completely willing to undo all the character work he did previously if it means he can be edgy or impress his ideals on the reader.

That’s why Ymir and Historia have this dramatic parting that gets the audience pumped to see what happens to both of them and when they’ll reunite...only for Ymir to just completely disappear from the narrative, then be killed offscreen without even really re-entering the story again. That’s why Historia has this whole big arc about reclaiming her agency, resisting her abusive family and learning to live for herself...only to be intimidated into becoming Queen even though she’s not super into it, because she needs to serve the military and NOT live for herself after all, I guess? And oh, now she’s numbly accepted her duty to endlessly make babies for the sake of the nation! Turns out her real purpose is to be something for the other characters to be sad about. 

Isayama got bored with Historia’s arc and Ymir’s arc and their relationship. He may have fun coming up with characters backstories and the big dramatic moments, but once those are over? He doesn’t care enough to do the work to conclude their stories. He gets distracted by his next plot point, his next action scene. The characters are toys he discards or breaks for the sake of either some edgy ‘anyone can die!’ moment or to push forward whatever new stupid plot point he’s thought up for his fascist narrative. (Links to evidence of Isayama’s views in this post).

Even in the (dumb) sense of “oohhh doesn’t this impress life’s cruelty upon us”, Ymir’s death is a failure. When she’s been gone from the narrative so long, to have it suddenly be like “oh, she died” just makes for a reader feeling confused and cheated, not devastated. It becomes painfully clear she’s an afterthought to the author, a loose end that needed to be cut. Same with Sasha’s recent death, I saw no sign she’d been anything but background in the narrative for a long. looong time before she was killed off.

 Heck, look not further than Annie, who has now been trapped in crystal for what, 800 chapters? It’s been YEARS, both in universe and out. It’s honestly FUNNY at this point that she’s still fuckin’ in there, literally just frozen until Isayama can decide what he wants to do with her.. I hope the manga ends with everyone dead and then 1000 years later Annie emerges like “hey guys I’m back!” Then a meteor hits her or something. The intrigue surrounding her fizzled out a long time ago, yet Isayama still expects the reader to care whenever that hunk of rock shows up?

Let’s bring it around back to Eren. There were a lot of interesting directions he could have actually gone as a character, had he been forced to actually, y’know, deal with the fact he was channeling his grief in an unhealthy way or his worldview had ultimately been challenged at all. But Isayama actually agrees with Eren for the most part, he does think enemies should be exterminated without fail and genocide is cool and stuff. So Eren’s development throughout 800 chapters was just to ultimately get more and more obsessed with killing enemies, to the point where he doesn’t even enjoy seeing the ocean for long before deciding that was more important. Only his targets are definitely people now, and he doesn’t care about children or civilian casualties anymore, and yeah he’s screwed up, but doesn’t he have a point???? You can almost hear Isayama say this.

 Eren exemplifies how Isayama approaches character development. He allows his characters to get more ruthless, more calculating, more fucked up, more comfortable with killing and torture as time goes on, but they can’t develop in a positive way ever- if they start going in that direction, it’s time for them to either die or regress. Nobody’s allowed to find any sort of lasting happiness, nobody’s allowed to become softer or kinder. “Cowards” (like Armin or Sasha) can become “brave”, but they’ll eventually lose most of their softness and empathy too. But that will be excused at every turn, because that’s apparently the price, the sacrifice of being a soldier. It’s “necessary” and it’s something Isayama very obviously admires. “Bravery” trumps compassion, soldiers must be ruthless to win and in the end, any growth is meaningless.

To be clear, a lot of negative character development isn’t a bad thing and “anyone can die” narratives aren’t either (though both are very tricky to pull off without losing audience investment- if you know it’s all just gonna be suffering, why keep reading?). But even when your story has those elements, you, as an author, have to have some respect and perspective in regards to your characters and Isayama has neither. He AGREES that his characters terrible actions (like torture) are necessary, because he thinks what Japanese soldiers did to Korean civilians was A-OK too...so it all just comes off as sickening.

And in a story, even if you’re trying to impress that death is random and arbitrary, that your story’s world is dangerous for everyone, those deaths should still mean something to you. the author. Otherwise the reader can’t feel their impact. It shouldn’t be easy to kill off a character. It shouldn’t be simply because you’re bored, or don’t know what to do with them- yet Isayama has openly admitted what he does. A character ceasing to matter, and then dying, has no impact. A character must matter up until the moment they cease for their death to matter.

( And lbr, if “anyone” could really die in AOT, the four main characters wouldn’t have gotten a million miracle reprieves by now).

It’s not surprising it ended up this way, though. It’s not surprising a man who has no sympathy or compassion for victims of war crimes has no sympathy or compassion for his characters and slowly drains them of their humanity as the story goes on. His love of war and domination is more important to him than human beings, and that comes through in his narrative, where characterization takes a backseat to his love of depicting war and violence, of impressing its necessity on the reader.

The characters of Attack on Titan deserve better than to be embedded in this cynical, cheap, fascist narrative. Fortunately, there are a ton of stories out there, and you can find similar characters with authors who actually care about them and aren’t openly fascist. For instance, while thinking about Historia’s arc and how good it started out, I remembered that one of my favorite narratives has a very similar main character. If you like Historia and wish she had a better narrative, I encourage you to check out the anime or light novels for The Twelve Kingdoms.

Similar to Historia, Youko is raised in an oppressive environment and constructs this entire personality around the idea of being an ideal good girl who lives for others, even though deep down she didn’t really care much for the people she was pleasing. When she’s stranded in an unfamiliar world, she slowly finds who she really is- and she’s pretty hardcore. She comes into a royal position of power too, but needless to say, it’s handled much better than Historia’s arc in AOT. 

True, she’s not explicitly queer, but there’s no explicit love interest either (the anime does add a “crush”, but he disappears pretty quickly and she gets over him amazingly fast), and ton of strong female relationships in the story too, that don’t end with one party dying and the other becoming a baby machine. And it’s written by a woman who’s never openly supported war crimes, so. 

So yeah, there are so many better options than Attack on Titan, and so many better ways these character concepts can be used. If you’re as disappointed as I am, it’s important to remember that. These character were failed, but characters like them can still be given the narratives they deserve.

Here’s the final part of this series:

The final reflection on Attack on Titan: How the narrative failed its potential in regard to gender and queer themes.

How to make games: RPGs

Hey! You like RPGs, right? If you don't I have to wonder how the hell you found FAN, given our two most-active subboards being vidya and tabletop RPGs, but, whatever! Let's, for the sake of argument, assume you like RPGs. If you don't, fuck off, Greg! ... I don't know anyone named Greg, I just wanted to see if I could screw with people named Greg. Anyways, RPGs, like the houses in Harry Potter, come in four distinct flavors: traditionalist, gonzo/comedy, h-game, and "Inspired by EarthBound/The Mother Trilogy". And much akin to Harry Potter, only two of these houses actually fucking matter and the other two are just hangers-on of different genres and ages. If you're going to waste the player's time by making your H-game an RPG, you are going about it entirely wrong. Please stop dumping this unabashed garbage-fire of a subgenre on Steam, the market is beyond saturation point and requires arm floaties to compensate. And for those of you who played/know of EarthBound and want to make a "spiritual successor"... just stop. Please for the love of God, stop. There never really was a demand for this kind of thing and EarthBound was not a commercial success, so just stop if you have any humanity left in you. I don't think I can stomach anymore fucking quirkiness after the last installment - anymore stuffed down my gullet and I'm gonna shit out a My Hero Academia OC next time my bowels move. So, in truth, you have two flavors of RPG: the traditionalist and the comedian routes and both can be equally terrible. Traditionalist RPGs range from the swords-n-sorcery setting found in Ultima, Dragon Quest, and good Final Fantasy installments to the sci-fi, cyberpunk, steampunk, and emo shit found in bad Final Fantasy installments - it's a wide gauntlet. The only prereq is that you take your own storytelling relatively seriously, with some level of gravity involved in the overall major story beats. Since traditionalist RPGs are made by people with crippling insecurities about change, and the game will largely succeed or fail on the quality of its characters, I'll go ahead and make your cast for you. I'll avoid giving them names so you can customize them: I mean, some people like their fantasy heroes to be named something like "Bulk McUlraeoth Sword Arm of Jupiter" and some people like their fantasy protags to be named "Jim". Who am I to judge your self-insert fanfiction? Sword McHero Man - The guy with short brown or black hair and a generic face done by a B-list manga-ka and, depending on if you want to make him a chillaxed everyman or an edgy edgelord, you can add or subtract belts, zippers, pouches, and black clothing items according to need. He'll almost always use a generic one-handed sword and have fairly short hair. If your game strongly favors an element system, he'll be either fire or light-affinity, but not have any actual strong convictions beyond the fact that he hates 'bad guys' and probably gets his head dunked in toilets by at least 3 NPCs in the starting town. Anything else about him is ultimately superfluous and interchangeable with the next Sword McHero Man over. Childhood McBestfriend - Oftentimes a female foil to the above, but not required by law to be so. Sometimes this doubles as Sword McHero Man's Suave Cool McLancer. They will usually fill a supplementary combat role in the party, either the thief or the healbot as the story requires. If they are the love interest, they are required to be Worst Waifu(TM) by law and be replaced as soon as a competent party member fills out the roster. Typically wind or water elemented in nature, they'll either help calm the hero-man down if he is the hotblooded sort, or cheer him up if he's currently got his head dunked in a toilet. Suave Cool McLancer - Either a rival or thematic foil of the hero and maybe a rival for Childhood McBestfriend's affections, depending on story necessity. He will be a more specialized unit, either the rogue, the heavy-armor knight, or the attack mage. If male, this character will be Best Hasbando and be incredibly pretty or horrifically scarred and/or disfigured with no potential in-betweens. If female, uncommon but not unheard-of, she'll be the team's big sis figure and likely the most powerful, physically speaking. Potential for Best Waifu(TM) is high, but can also potentially double as Back McStabberton. Back McStabberton - The dark, angsty, clearly-untrustworthy one who the player will see their betrayal coming from a mile off, but will completely blindside the naive heroes. Usually they'll have stats inconsistent with the party (being either over or under-powered depending on context) and clash with their bright, anime-esque color scheme by wearing blacks or dark purples. Either a thief or attack mage of some flavor. Almost universally a male or a "devilish handsome rogue" if they get redeemed at some point. If female, they will always be DOUBLE AGENTS acting with the hero's own good in mind and will promptly be forgiven. Usually dies before the game is out. Grandpa McTeacherperson - Some plot-pivotal character who exists to either give the party a special tool, weapon, or ability they wouldn't have gotten otherwise, or elsewise transfer their own talents to the party in some fashion. Virtually irrelevant as characters since these exist exclusively as jaded props to die off to make the villains' actions more personal. Please stop using this archetype or at least TRY to subvert it into something interesting, you talentless lazy fucks. Sexy McFaceTurn - Invariably one of the bad guy's hot ladies will see a boyish charm in the hero, even if the hero is supposed to be projected upon and therefore would actually have the social skills of a duck - or worse, me. What? I did that joke already? Fuck you, this joke's still more inspired than the Tales games RPGs. Anyways, upon getting wet for the hero, she will abandon her post and all its luxuries and join the party, clad in tight, black leather and probably using either knives or whips and will be your prereq dark-affinity character. She will be the sex appeal your game sells on, so be sure to slap her on all your promo materials even though she doesn't join until the mid-late game. Male versions of this idea die. I can't explain it - it's some straight-up Mr. Poofers dark magic, they just die. Annoying McMascot - Your game needs something bizarre to round the party out with. A talking dog is common. A fantasy creature with bright neon colors is also acceptable. Just make sure that players hate it with every fiber of their being. If the design alone isn't enough, give it an annoying speech habit - like a verbal tic or a lisp - and have it talk a lot and repeat the obvious a lot. It is by law that this must be implemented. However, unlike any of the above, this, coupled with the hero, cannot be killed off. And that should more or less do ya, unless you're the type who wanted to pour dozens upon dozens of dudes into your game. In which case, congrats, you understand that doing the absolute base minimum to be called a "game" isn't the bar you should be shooting for and therefore are already on your way to being better than Squeenix. Next, you need to get to codin'! So go on Steam and buy the latest RPG Maker software when it goes on sale. You won't need to wait long, between the Summer and Winter sales. Once you have that, you already have built-in art, music, and character makers. Fuck it - creativity is hard, so let the software tend to that itself. Make some characters and name some locations, jot up a map with some landmarks and treasure, then make a bad guy. Bad guy making is easy, they all wear black or dark reds and purples and tend to always call themselves "The [Whatever] Empire". You don't even need to be arsed to make a motivation for their evil schemes. Have you seen how much Fire Emblem Fates raked in just on the goodwill left over from Awakening? I'm surprised JRPGs aren't made by fucking algorithm these days! Anyways, that just about does it for the traditional RPG. Comedy RPGs aren't quite as bound to the above and are, in fact, encouraged to break the mold. If you need some ideas to get the creative juices flowin', there's a game you can try out, you might have heard about it since I haven't stopped fellating the damn thing since I did the LP back in 2013: Hourai High. Your plot doesn't need to make sense and is better off if any causality is merely coincidental. Your characters shouldn't really be trying to 'save the world', per se, but should do so by side-effect of their selfishness and/or incompetence. Your team should have robots, aliens, fucking CheetahMen, I don't fucking know, but take everything I said above this paragraph and throw it into a shredder, make it confetti, and wail on established convention! Sweet fucking mother - BE CREATIVE. I'm gonna temporarily break facade here for just a second and say this: you know how you bitched about Final Fantasy 15? How it's a fucking boyband music video with a fucking car commercial crammed in it?! How you hated the hallway simulator of FF13? How no one bought Bravely Second? How Dragon Quest keeps getting away with remaking the same fucking game?! Here's your chance. Flaunt on the establishment. Fuck what is "popular". Make something new. Don't try to be Shigesato Itoi. Do your own thing. Break the conditioning. Get out there and make a fucking game. Make it so when people say "RPG Maker Title" on Steam, they aren't saying it like it's a four-letter word. Put some God-damn soul into it, people! And now, off the soap box. Bonus points if you add a dating sim. Just saying. Rune Factory 5 just got announced. Now, get to work. Congrats. You now know how to be the most fucking boring milquetoast thing on the planet and how to avoid that ass-cancer and do something that actually expresses your individuality and possible talent. This is the one time I'm allowing these rants to be somewhat uplifting. You're welcome.