in the top 10 witty comeback hiccup moments i fear

SHIT FUCK

Would it be ok to request Vox with an affectionate s/o?

More than okay, nonnie! I’ve been getting so many requests bro, literally every time I post one, I get like 2 more in its place. IM LIVING FOR IT, KEEP IT COMING YALL! But also plz be patient with me 🥺 been waiting for a request for my flat-faced prince. Tbh the first time I watched Hazbin, my immediate reaction to Vox was ‘OH NO HES HOT!!!’ So, enjoy these headcanons 😘

Notes: gn!reader, maybe a little ooc Vox?

Vox x reader- Affection 💋

Also oh my fucking godddddd the vest, him in a vest. I need more Vox in a vest PRONTO…🥵

Okay so like…bro is more dirty minded.

He’s genuinely confused when you kiss his cheek or hold his hand like ???

Oh….you’re not just trying to fuck him and get famous?

Cuteee~

Sure, he’s fucked and made out with ppl and probably done some other crazy shit but his experience with sappy romance and affection like you show him is very limited.

He’s pretty dense, he’s got a tough shell and doesn’t really understand love languages and stuff like that.

His love language is most definitely gift giving and I just know he’s terrible at actually showing his feeling through words or romantic gestures or physical affection.

It’s usually just like “Hey! I love ya! I got you this.” *insert item you’d flip your lid over*

At least he’s a good gift giver! He really does try to give you cool stuff he knows you’ll like but he’s still learning how to actually speak about his feelings and show it physically.

He tries to match your energy the best he can

Get him gifts!!! Plz he loves homemade gifts too- gift him art, sing him an original song, sew him something, whatever your skills or talents may be, use them and he’ll adore it and also praise tf out of you

You took time to make this just for him? ‘Marry me’

Besides fucking around with Val, Vox doesn’t get much affection so he very quickly falls in love with all the sweet affectionate touches you frequently show him.

It’s all so different than Val, so sensitive and genuine. It really makes him swoon~

Melts when you kiss the corners of his screen- there’s something about non mouth kisses that really gets to him

He gets a huge dorky love stuck grin when you sit in his lap and hug him close, also hugs you back super tight

Absolutely loves kissing you and then noticing the lingering smudges/lipstick marks on his screen later

Fix his bow tie while giving him a sneaky wink in front of his crew and he’ll huff and look away while trying to hold back a smile

Invites you on his nightly broadcast as a guest one time and quickly learned how embarrassed he becomes when you flirt and call him pet names on live TV in front of tons of viewers

After only 10 minutes of talking, giggling and giving him bedroom eyes, Vox was struggling to maintain his composure- you’re so fucking cute.

All you had to do was laugh loudly at one of his crude jokes about Alastor and call him your “honey bunny” and suddenly the entire V tower lost power.

Poor man literally short circuits over your darling voice calling him such soft names- he’s so down bad for you he can’t even hide it

Val and Velvette have that specific episode downloaded and saved to every device they own bc there’s no way they are letting this go, he’s never living this down

If you pause the video right before it cuts out, just before the power goes out, Vox has literal hearts for eyes and his entire screen briefly becomes this bright blushy pink color- that’s a color no one has ever seen on him

Just keep doing your thing, you little hopeless romantic, and you’ll see that color more often.

But Vox might have to leave you at home when filming bc he can’t control himself around you sometimes and you obviously can’t either 🖤

virgin!heesung watches so much fucked up porn and has the most nasty fantasies but turns bright red and tongue tied when it gets down to it.

OR

he's super shy all the time but fucks you like an absolute animal when he gets the chance - whenever he gets the chance (he makes time. trust)

im in love with both of these omg ur so insane n i love it 💞 BUT THE FIRST ONEEEE im so dizzy 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 i absolutely adore the idea of him w a nympho gf n bein a huge perv n wanting to fuck you sosososooo bad but he’s also giving “no i don’t fuck. i’m afraid” 😭😭 poor guy’s afraid youll be disappointed n he’s soooo totally unaware that his cock is huge 😵‍💫 “turns bright red and tongue when it gets down to it” IM OBSESSEDOH MY GODDDDDD ur insane . and u have fried my brain as well

i can’t get this eren brainrot out of my head so i’m putting it here 🫶🏾 like just imagine rapper eren noticing y/n being upset about something, maybe it was a mess up at her shoot or a couple hate comments about her under an insta post and eren is just not having it. he’s gonna buy that girl enough roses to fill up the living room, probably make a couple secret fan accounts for her and spam her comments with some love and then fuck her nice and slow at the end of the day <333

godddddd I love this! tsym!!! Like when I tell you, y’all are gonna have to pry this pairing from my hands..😭

cw: !black fem reader, hate comments, hand holding, missionary, pussy eating, crying (not dacryphilia though), (heavy) praise kink, affirmation, tub/shower sex

there were so many things that came with being a public figure..having to maintain your image at all times, looking nothing less than extraordinary. Making sure to say the right things to avoid falling under public scrutiny and always presenting the best version of yourself. Even so, with all that criteria being met…sometimes it still wasn’t enough! (Y/N) (L/N) understood that shit all too well. As someone who made their living off of social media, it was all but inevitable to be immersed in the virtual world but some days, you just wanted to deactivate everyone of those accounts and disappear..today was one of those damn days!

Starting off like any other, you decided to take a quick scroll through your feed, queue a couple posts and check your mentions. It was then that you’d be bombarded by hate comments…nasty trolls calling you all types of hurtful names. Saying everything from your body being fake, to you being a slut because of your provocative pictures to even saying your husband should leave you. Which really set you over the edge. Normally, you’d be able to block that ignorance out, both literally and figuratively but they were laying it on thick and your patience wore thin in return. So much so, you had a very short temper today. It wasn’t intentional but you really didn’t want to deal with anyone today..including your loving husband, Eren. Who had merely asked what was wrong, even cracking a couple jokes before you inevitably snapped at him, which he knew was completely out of character. “I’m fine, Eren..please, just go away and let me sleep..” Anyone else would’ve been met with equal energy and an attitude but he had never seen you so down and depressed. Which he just couldn’t bare the sight of. Naturally, he wanted to know what or who rather had caused his baby to be upset but it wasn’t until he decided to log in to Instagram and as clear as day, there they were..the hateful things being said about his beloved wife. He wasn’t much for going back and forth on the internet because he wanted to beat the hell out of them but that wasn’t plausible so he’d go for the next best option….and that was spoiling you rotten!..

six hours later and the entire living room was filled from doorway to foyer in dozens of red roses. Petals scattered across the floor and a teal gift bag with ‘Tiffany and Co.’ inscribed on the front. The first thing to greet you once you came back home. While driving around in hopes to clear your head, your husband was hard at work..not in the studio but ensuring that even though you had a bad day, the night didn’t follow suit. Being met with a text that read simply: ‘meet me upstairs’..it was then that you found him in the granite garden tub, setting in the center of the spacious master bathroom. Bubbles surrounding his nude body and an opened bottle of aged Merlot sitting on the side of it with two glasses..you couldn’t help but to smile for the first time in twenty four hours. “You’re not gonna keep me waiting, are you?” that sweet charm turned on tenfold tonight. You couldn’t believe he had gone all out and done this for you! But not one expense was spared when it came to his princess..he’d pull out all the stops to see that pretty smile again. Stripping from your clothes, (y/n) eventually steeped into the foamy pile of bubbles and immediately falling into his grasp. “You did all this for me, baby?” to which he’d merely chuckle, knowing damn well he’d hand you the world on a platter it were possible. “You know I couldn’t stand to see my angel upset. I had to fix that real quick..” Arms flung around the back of his neck and your tongue slipping into his mouth shortly thereafter. The two of you engaging in a heated makeout session, becoming immersed in one another; saying to hell with the comments and anyone else who thought that you shouldn’t be together. You were the only woman he wanted..would ever need and he’d spend every waking second until the early morning proving it! Tomorrow morning, you’d probably wake up to a plethora of positive messages, doting on you via a couple burner accounts he had his assistant make, where they spammed you with heartfelt praise. But for now, he had a display of love that were only possible for him..

like when he brought you to the bedroom, lying you across the mattress as he marked your smooth mocha complexion up with sensual kisses..warm breath making contact with your cold, dampened skin. They were divine but you hadn’t felt anything yet!..it was only when those gentle pecks trailed south to your mound, that he’d peel your thighs apart and place his palms into the flesh to keep you still. The last thing he needed was you trying to run when he began slurping on that cute clit. The swollen pearl glaring back at him with a thin line of slick between your plump lips. Dragging the tip of his tongue through it just to watch you shudder..knowing that he would have your legs full on shaking in a minute. Doing as he done best and eating your pussy until you trembled underneath him; bringing that to fruition in less that ten minutes. Locking your fingers together so that you held hands whilst he licked all between those pretty thighs and slit. “You taste so good, baby…so sweet.” Devouring you in every essence of the word..spitting, lapping, sucking and flicking to make you come in his mouth. Even when you grabbed his head and pushed him away, there was no stopping. He wanted to melt that stress away..fuck you so good that your mind was completely void of any negativity or hate. Which is exactly what happened when he leaned up and proceeded to tap his tip against that sensitive sex.. “..stay just like that..I got you.” Reassuring with a smile on his face before swiping a thumb across yours. He’d keep that hand cupped around your cheek and your heads pressed close as he slid in..you were so tight; a sign of how tensed up you had been but he had all the time in the world. He’d go as slow and gentle as you needed him to. This was all about (y/n)..starting out with soft, fluid strokes.. “..you’re so beautiful, (y/n)..I love you so much.” “..doing so good, taking this dick for me. Does it feel good, baby?”

both statement and question making you unclench those tight bundle of nerves and open up for him. Shaking your head and crying in response..not because it was painful but because you realized how mean you had been to him this morning. Getting angry over people who didn’t matter but he understood and your feelings were valid. He loved you all the same and would never get mad. To take your pain away, not cause it was his only goal. Watching you sniffle with tears coming down your cheek; mixing with those sweet moans and apologies, Eren pulled you into a melting kiss, sloppy and slow just as you liked them. His chain and strands of hair dangling in your face as he burrowed over you body and whispered: “Shhh…it’s alright. It’s okay..you just let it all go.” instructing with his dick throbbing inside of you. Telling you how beautiful you looked with him inside of you..how pretty you were when you came and all the other sweet nothings you nerfed to hear. He wouldn’t stop until you climaxed as many times as you pleased; releasing all that stress and tension until you fell apart in his arms and each time, he’d always be there to catch you..

Oh no was the spin-off bad or just mediocre? Is there anything you particularly liked or disliked about it?

god okay let's get into the good, the bad, and the ???? of it all. hiding it entirely under a cut because spoilers ahoy.

the :)

I have reservations about the Riddler as a full protagonist that I'll articulate below, but I can't really fault any of the writing re: Eddie's dialogue at all. the characterization of the Riddler as an insufferably cocky and nosy motormouth works really well, and Hasan Minhaj seems like he's having a blast with the expanded role.

I also like ESCAPE ARTIST PICKPOCKET RIDDLER recognition!!!

also hey even though they didn't follow up on some of the very promising tidbits re: Eddie's potentially deteriorating mental state dropped in Unburied, I like that it was made clear that there are physical components to his riddle compulsion, namely mentioning that his chest was getting tighter. it adds an interesting dimension to his whole schtick!

having listed all these fun traits that I enjoy, I also respect that the story doesn't feel the need to like... soften Eddie in order to make him a more likeable protagonist. oh haha the funny little asshole man? yeah he killed people. he kills a guy literally in the course of the story after proclaiming in the very first episode that he's mostly non-violent. and he's 100% chill about it because fuck that guy! he doesn't matter, he's in the way of the riddle! and the whole ending with Nadira is... oofah doofah, that's crazy. that's crazy crazy. and it's pretty tasty!

I LOOOOOVE appearances from minor villains!!! bro we got THE FUCKING TALLY MAN in this!!! also hey when I wrote that absurdly long post-Unburied fic I CORRECTLY predicted Croc, Sportsmaster, and the fucking Condiment King someone. I don't know. pay me or kiss me on the mouth for that or something.

I wish there was more Barbara, of course, but I really like what we did get of her! I like that we've kind of skipped over any need for her to have a Batgirl era and just got straight to the good stuff of being almost Oracle. I love to see her exactly where she belongs: flagrantly committing cybercrime to save lives because she can.

also the sound design is still good, and I really like the new music for the opening and Azrael's motif

also speaking of Azrael I'm going to say ONE nice thing about how he was written which is that I DO think it's interesting that they directly pointed out that the concept of Azrael as an angel of death is actually much more prominent in Islam than Christianity while also making in unambiguous that the Nygmas are a Muslim family. it adds a little bit of intrigue to the connection between Nadira and JP, not nearly enough to actually redeem Nadira as a big bad in my eyes (see below) but it is interesting!

also lastly Eddie is flirting so hard with Bruce AND Barbara I love you problematic awful bisexual representation. AND Killer Croc wants to fuck him? madness.

the :/

I alluded to this earlier, but I don't know if I love Eddie promoted to the POV protagonist! it's a big departure from Unburied, not just in terms of who's the main character but also in terms of limiting the scope of the story. giving Bruce and Barbara's alternating perspectives in Unburied was brilliant for building up the mystery and creating suspense in the story, and when the story came together to focus fully on Bruce as Batman it felt organically earned.

and also on a more Eddie-centric note I just! think he works better as a supporting character for other people to bounce off of, rather than being a lead in his own right!

I'm putting this in :/ instead of :( because it's more of a matter of personal taste than anything but godddddd I wanted more Barbara :/ I love her :/ where is she :/ I'm mostly mad because I wanted a spinoff of her and Eddie solving crimes while he crashes in her couch and does petty crime but godddddd god god god I want her back so bad I love her more than Eddie and Bruce combined

while I like the emotional beats of the resolution with Nadira I don't... like her as a character or a storytelling device. like I'm sorry but I don't really care about the Riddler's family drama! especially not when it's as heavy-handed as "my sister told me riddles to distract me from our parents fighting." very reminiscent of the backstory where Leonard and Lisa Snart would hide out in an ice cream truck or whatever, please stop trying to make psychology this painfully clear cut.

I also didn't really need an origin story but I do like that it's kind of an updated version of his first BTAS episode!

I can't decide if Jean Paul unceremoniously killing off Flass is really funny or sucks shit. kind of both but it does veer towards the latter, I was really hoping that if they're going to keep making more of this podcast we would at least get to see Babs get an arc where she investigates Flass and gets justice for her dad on her own terms. but then again. it is pretty funny.

also god this isn't REALLY about the show but I have to say this. the Riddler a.) getting #calledout by Azrael for bearing false witness and b.) ESPECIALLY him trying to dunk on his sister by implying she should marry a white guy are SO FUNNY given the timing of the minor scandal re: Hasan Minhaj maybe just straight up making things up entirely in his comedy and SPECIFICALLY getting that poor woman doxxed by claiming she dumped him for racist reasons. I'M JUST SAYING. (editor's note: since absolved of all wrongdoing and the woman who wrote that piece is genuinely unhinged, but the timing was still BANANAS.)

the :(

I'm just gonna say it, man: I'm not into Colman Domingo's Bruce/Batman performance at all. I don't know what happened behind the scenes to precipitate Winston Duke leaving the role, but god fuck I'm in mourning. Duke is genuinely one of my favorite portrayals of Bruce ever for his distinctive Batman voice and how much expressiveness, vulnerability, and warmth he brings to the character, and while I wouldn't want his replacement to try and mimic that performance exactly (impossible!) it seems like Domingo just... wasn't even given the memo? this is a much flatter Bruce, and I simply cannot love him.

re: my complaints about Nadira above, her character is just handled in a really underwhelming way. having Eddie repeatedly call her "sis" is stumbling straight into the one of the worst of all lazy exposition techniques, especially since Bruce works his way to that exact revelation, like would it have killed anyone to just... let us wonder about the connection a *little* longer? also, again, those flashbacks are ARTLESS. in Unburied there's framing and context for all of the ways the past blends into the present, whether it's Strange's recordings or the story taking place inside Bruce's own meddled memories. it really feels like they're just hurling backstory at us with a catapult in this one.

the ultimate big bad reveal is... ugh. UGH. Unburied was a really cool nesting doll of a minor Batman villain being manipulated by a more well-known villain being manipulated by an A-list villain with a cool and unique spin on her backstory... Secrets in the Dark has an absolutely WASTED member of the Batfamily used as a killer of the week, controlled by a minor dirty cop and a complete OC who doesn't get much screentime at all. cool!

also hey listen. as soon as they start going "hmm... I don't know this is just too big for Flass... SOMEONE else must be helping him..." it's like. I don't know, man. do you think it's possibly the only new character introduced in the series who we know was just elected to a government position? do you think maybe that's who it could be?

also hey man speaking of which they just fucking. they just used Jean Paul as a random deranged serial killer and then the fucking Riddler managed to convince him to off himself. fucking. disrespectful. this feels like that episode of Arrow (sorry to cite Arrow in 2023, I know) when Helena's just like. an antagonist of the week for Oliver to fight. disrespectful!!!!

"Makenzie I thought you didn't even like Jean Paul why does it matter" I'M COMING AROUND ON HIM

overall the plot just feels way more hectic and unpolished than Unburied and it's Unfortunate!

also hey do you remember at the end of Unburied where Bruce just casually blows the lid open on Eddie being afraid that he's like. devolving and actively losing his grip on his own brain and it's like extra bad and scary because he has no idea whether it really means anything when he passes psych evals, etc? really cool how we never really brought that up again

where was Ace :( :( :( my good boy :( :( :(

FUCKING

VAMERY NATION HOW ARE WE FUCKING DOING

STRYFEWOOD NATION I HOPE UR ALL ALIVE AND WELL TOO

wolfwood's "he's way out of your league" comment THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTINGGGG

speaking of: NO THE GIRLS ARE ACTUALLY FIGHTING THAT SCENE RULED

VASHS HAIR THE BLACK JACKET OUUUUUFUCKFUCKFUCK

nai willfully burning himself alive to try and get vashs fucking. Evil Rubiks Cube or whatever was so RAW we getting the rebirthing scene in s2??????

"when everything calms down ill settle by their side again" "im vash the stampede" BYE IM MICROWAVING MYSELF

ANGEL ARM ANGEL ARM WE GOT 2/3 GUNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

vash humming his little song... "it comes to me." and he does it for comfort.... ouh my god.

ZAZIE ACTUALLY FREAKING OUT A BIT LOL I LOVE THEM

well shit man ig that guy from ep1 (chuck lee?) is fucking dead rip bozo

vash and knives' relationship will be the fucking death of me im going to die

i fucking need s2 immediately i want it so bad its literally so fuckin happening we won we fucking won

oh my GOD the timeskip. meryl serving mini butch realness. MILLY. ERIKS. THE INSURANCE SOCIETY. LINA.

meryl regularly visiting july.... the picture she left there..... holy fucking shit im gnna kms...

HER PRACTICING CALLING MILLY NEWBIE.... OH MY GOD OH MY GODDDDDD IM WAILING

vash wincing when lina calls him eriks.... idk im thinkin he remembers more than hes letting on maybe oughh idk idk idkidkidk

also him playing the key on the piano.... like hes so close to remembering. he knows its familiar but he doesnt remember. s2 gnna kill me

oh my god also the "thank you meryl. i heard your voice too." at the beginning of the ep. vamery nation how are we fucking feeling im going to start gnawing shit

CHRONICA POST CREDITS...

GUYS I CANR STRESS ENOUGH.... CHRONICA POST CREDITS WE HEAR HER FUCKING VOICE THE GUY CALLS HER CHRONICA WERE GETTING CHRONICA..... IM GOING TO BLOW UP

oh my god oh my fucking god i literally need s2 in my hands rn theyve confirmed it theyve fucking confirmed s2 we are getting it its happening im gnna fucking die

WE MAY NOT HAVE A TIMEFRAME. IT MAY BE MONTHS IT MAY BE A COUPLE YEARS. BUT S2 IS HAPPENING. GODSPEED EVERYPONY. UNTIL THEN. I FUCKING LOVE YOU ALL.

rewatched the 7th detective conan film and godddddd this was peakkkkkkkk cinema I tell you, peakkkkkkkk and that whole showdown w conan turning back to shinichi to save kazuha bc heiji was in the hospital but heiji escaping to go save kazuha and shinichi and then shinichi running away since he was about to turn back into conan and meeting ran but having to stun her and her thinking it was just a dream but then later at the train station he purposely shook the soda so she'd pull her hankerchief and see it was dirty from when she wiped shinichi's face and telling her he had called him to help heiji, so she knew it wasn't a dream. and ofc heiji fighting off that guy w his cool kendo skills and then everyone fighting the bad guys off w their skills: kazuha w aikido, ran w karate, kogoro w judo, conan using his power kick boots and even shiratori w a stick lol. and then heiji finallyyyyy realising kazuha was that lil girl, his first love when she was singing that song AHHHHHHHHHHH and him smiling fondly and refusing to tell her who that girl was sjsjehsjsjd

and all that WITHOUT ANY BOMBS! new films COULD NEVER like srsly it baffles me that the producers or gosho or anyone don't see how fcking terrible the new stuff is compared to the old ones. so sad.

you're so underrated istg .

Anyway ><

I have a question. (not a rq i just want ur opinion)

How do u feel about ppl oversexualising scara/Wanderer because its so weird too me?? Like he does not want u girl ❗❗😡😡

Ty anon ♡

controversial thing but I honestly hate anything sexual so when i see those stupid usernames "nghh ~! Scara more please!" i cringe so bad please grow up godddddd . For once can we just love characters without saying how much u wanna fuck their booty?? 🙁❗❗

And hes a puppet , he most likely doesn't feel any sexual attraction or perhaps even romantic.

Still love him though he's so nice , i eat his hat for breakfast

3 patrice images i have to show uou asap

YOUUUUU GUARL ARE SOOO IMPIRAFNTNSHDKDYISBCUDIX

OH MY FUCKING GODDDDDD I NEED HIM SO BAD ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY omg wiat when im out of rehearsal remind me yo tell you abt the dream i had last night it involved patrick anyways I LOVE HIMB THANK YOU FOR SHOWING ME WAAAAUSGDHGD

Overall another great episode I’d say! ✌️

My initial Spoiler Thoughts for 7x2 in no particular order.

Hen has some clear biases to assess and work on. She was, well, dismissive and judgemental of the drunk (and drugged?) guy. She’s gotta stay neutral no matter the person, especially while on scene. Oh ohhhh I wonder if this will be an arc that Hen goes on this season? Just overall her becoming a better firefighter/captain?

Poor Norman. His wife cheated on him? That’s rough my guy. And… I’m not sure he’s gonna make it. =/

That's the cruise doctor? Uhhh I think they need someone with more expertise and frankly more of a spine. Bruh.

That hostage situation was surprisingly short. Hm…. I’m kinda wondering if this season had, say, 18 episodes if they would have spread out this whole cruise ship story to 4 episodes instead of 3. Idk, I’ll have to wait to see how episode 3 goes, but *shrugs* I don’t think I’d be mad if it all had been stretched out a bit for extra drama.

The snake white guy said “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I’m not a bad person.” I need more time to think and articulate this but… Actions speak louder than words. Dude was selfish, dabbling in something that brought great harm to others while, sure, not meaning for the harm to happen. He’d been ready to dip. He only gets points for saving our 911 parents. 😩

Please. That’s so cute that Maddie and Chimney share everything and gossip together. Sure they’ll keep your secret! …..but that secret is also safe with their partner. <3

Frank, you did okay this time. But be prepared for an influx once Athena and Bobby are back, and not just from them. Are you listening, Buck? He needs to go back to therapy anyway. But like, Bobby is in danger and that’s going to effect Buck. Please please let the show circle back around to the fact that Buck greatly fears losing Bobby, his dad.

Buck and Eddie sharing one brain cell when trying to explain themselves. <3

Maddie has clearly been with Chimney for a long time with her joke of “did you lose a boat?” 😆

Idk when Bobby is in captain mode he's so??????? Yeah.

Ahhhh! The camera shot of Bobbys’ hand covering Athena’s to help her save everyone. 😩 These two are so ride or die oh my godddddd.

Shit, yeah Peter and Angela got my crying a bit with their “love confession” talk.

I spotted some bloopers. In 1-2 moments Peter’s hair was almost dry, then it wasn’t. They had to film that scene in the bulge (whatever that room was called) for a while or something.

Maddie knows Spanish?? I mean, I guess she probably learned it in high school, and maybe  was able to keep it up being a nurse and then a 911 dispatcher. Good on her because I took 2 years of Spanish in high school, didn’t keep it up, and remember maybe 1% of what I learned.

HOLY SHIT THAT CLIFFHANGER!!!!!!! Literally Athena’s worst fears come to life. 🙃🙃🙃

OKAY. BUT. If the fuck-massive cruise ship was fully turned over, HOW does anyone in the life boats survive? Did they somehow make it far enough away to not get tossed like a freaking toy???? Suspension of disbelief I guess!! 🤙

Pale Green Things (The Mountain Goats)

You parked behind the paddock/Cracking asphalt underfoot/Coming up through the cracks/Pale green things/Pale green things

"The culmination of an album about songwriter John Darnielle's traumatic adolescence, "Pale Green Things" describes one of the few happy memories he has of his abusive stepfather and then, years later, his reaction to his stepfather's death, when he thinks back on that same memory. While previous songs on the album that touched on his stepfather's abuse were overtly angry or defiant, "Pale Green Things" is subdued and contemplative. It leaves a lot of things unsaid, instead allowing the narrator's feelings to be implied through his descriptions of the two scenes. There is no direct depiction of abuse, instead focusing on a moment of tentative hope and peace, a moment made simultaneously more painful and more precious by the revelation that it was a rare and temporary reprieve. The focus of "Pale Green Things" is not the pain caused directly by instances of abuse, but rather the absence of a positive relationship, and the complicated feelings that come from the glimpses of what that better relationship could have been like. Although finally free of his abuser, the narrator will continue to live with the pain his abuser caused him. But, he isn't trapped in that pain anymore, and he can also remember the good times they spent together, however rare and fleeting they were. The titular "pale green things" can only grow in the cracks of the asphalt parking lot, but their presence proves that the asphalt couldn't kill them all completely. As someone who has a complex and sometimes painful relationship with their own parents, "Pale Green Things" hits hard. I think for anyone who's been in a similar situation, of trying to sort through their feelings toward someone who hurt them badly but wasn't "all bad", it's a very powerful song. Even without knowing the context of the rest of the album, or of how the song related to the songwriter's real life, listening to it for the first time felt like getting hit by a truck. 10/10"

Second suite in F: mvt. 4 Fantasia on the Dargason (Gustav Holst)

Alas, my love, you do me wrong/To cast me off discourteously/For I have loved you oh, so long/Delighting in your company

"Ok so it's a setting of an English folk song right, it's got an ostinato that goes throughout the entire thing like a passacaglia, and that theme is just so joyous AND THEN YOU GET GREENSLEEVES AS WELL like ohhhhh my god the INSTRUMENTATION the ORCHESTRATION the way he uses the lower brass is just fucking phenomenal oh my godddddd. I know this won't get through but please consider classical also fucks me up worse than any other music. The blorbo I project it onto is Percy Grainger, an Australian composer, a contemporary of Holst, and like it really just gives vibes of his entire life like you have the chromatic scale building to the FF hits which are him whipping his wife, then the Greensleeves is his lament at his mother's suicide like yeah it's so relevant to everything"

Second suite submitted by @srijellyfishtempura

thinking about getting into a little argument with harry, probably over something really dumb but you're both tired and in a bad mood and just snapping at each other 😔 you both say things you don't mean and it ends with him storming out and slamming the door 😔 you stay on his couch, wrapped in a blanket trying not to cry but you're so upset 😔 he comes back maybe an hour later and he's opening the door so quietly, calling your name in a gentle voice and coming over to find you 😔 he sits down next to you and lets out a big sign then says "I'm so sorry" and when you look at him you can tell he's been crying 😔 and it breaks his heart to see how red and puffy your eyes are so he's saying "I'm so so sorry, i never should have said any of those things, i never wanted to hurt you or make you cry" 😔 it's quiet for a minute before you say "im sorry too, I love you so much and i-" but then you're crying a little too hard to talk and he scoots over to wrap his arms around you 😔 he's rubbing your back saying "it's okay, it's okay baby i love you so much" and the rest of the evening he just wants to be cuddled around you he never wants to let you go 😔

NOOOOOOOOOO OH MY GODDDDDD 😔😔😔 HE WOULD BE SO UPSET AND SOFT AND MAKE SURE YOURE OKAYYYY 😔😔😔

i just watched the faculty and it was so good but GODDDDDD i hate heteronormativity. like that ending blindsided me sooooo hard. ew ew ew!!!! stokely would not fucking wear that!!!! CASEY IS A TWINK HE WOULD NTO FUCKIGN GET TOGETHER WITH DELILAH ARE YOU SHITTIN GME. BE SO FOR FUCKIGN REAL. ugh.

anyways. headcanon time

zeke is a stone butch dyke <3 or, for a more canon compliant option…hes the token straight on thin ice (turns out to be aspec, the hypersexuality is an act, which he might realize after nearly sleeping with mrs drake and then going 'oh this feels very wrong and bad on multiple levels actually goodbye forever')

stokely is butch bisexual! cause ngl her and stan are very cute. i like to think she and marybeth had a mutual crush on each other before marybeth was infected. i could also see her having some genderfuckery going on (see: the butch part of butch bisexual. also fuck it, goth can be its own gender if you want it to be. im ignoring that ending outfit. i am not looking i do not see it. or maybe her parents forced her at gunpoint to wear it idfk.)

if i understand right, im pretty sure marybeth was just a host for the mother alien, and not like…a fully fake human..? so when we see her in the beginning, shes actually really her. but then again! maybe she isnt! either way, i like to think she had a crush on stokely, if not a specifically sexual/romantic one. shes obviously got a love for humanity, who says she cant get attached to a specific one?

stan is...hrm. okay actually it'd be really fun if stan was a trans egg, and quitting football was sort of the start to the journey of 'hmm, traditional masculinity isnt for me' to 'oh. im literally not a man. neat.' im thinking some flavor of femme leaning nonbinary/gnc/queer/sapphic. shoutout to girlfailure b student stan <3

i like to think caseys transmasc and delilah knew him pre transition which is why shes so eeeeughhh to him cause theyve got like. A History. (toxic homerotic teenage best friendship anyone?) i could also see him being some flavor of aspec. (more canon compliant option: hes a cis gay twink, the pornos under the mattress are a decoy for his weird nosey ass parents. FUCK them btw, omfg they sucked. also shoutout to the lil robot (??) he had sitting on his desk. oO HE COULD ALSO BE A TRANSFEMME EGG)

delilah is lesbian/sapphic, cause she was clearly not interested in stan, and i feel like her homophobia towards stokely was projection. i could see her having a history with casey. i also dont think theyre legitimately dating towards the end, i think its more for the cameras. (girl that kiss was soooo awkward LMAo. but like i cant deny they have chemistry, its just not,,,,That kind of chemistry) i feel like after the alien invasion shed finally start processing her internalized bigotry (and whatever was going on w her dead dad? hello? damn hope she gets a therapist)

hey hi hello first of all I am sending u the biggest hugs rn <3

but also *pulls up a chair* you've got me in the portal AU brainrot real bad right now tell me about. the robits.

I've been Thinking about like. repair and body augmentation for them as an act of trust and intimacy and. how much grian is maybe involved in that/wants to be involved in that. does he ever help?? does he know *how* to? what does it take for them to....trust enough for that to happen????

GODDDDDD youve touched on something that drives me INSANE [Positive] w portal au. Okay so theres this chelldos art where the caption is 'system maintenance as a love language' and it has stuck w me since I saw it. So like, let us discuss-

So Mumbo is the one who engineered the android bodies. One BIG difference between PDICTP and Portal is that ScaR is not necessarily intelligent in all things and does actually depend on the personality cores to handle a lit of the tasks around VonCorp. They all filter through him, he has the final say on all Tasks tm but thats how it works for him [as opposed to GlaDos who fully runs the show on her own.]

In terms of like, repair and augmentation that is also on Mumbo. ScaR has both aesthetic and 'real' scars on his android body; im working from the idea that ScaR's construct had cracks and stuff on its surface and ScaR finds presentation to be the most important thing so of course he would keep them. The real scars are from damage he sustained when their longfall...feet? Failed, along with trying to run his own test chambers. ScaR, once again, has the final say on any changes made to either body and the robots theyre using to run test chambers in Grian's absence.

Grian, admittedly, doesnt know a lot about how to repair an android. He doesnt really know anything about the android bodies at all, tbh. All his expertise is in destroying the constructs and turrets - but heres the thing. Eventually, probably in this next ch, ScaR is going to set him up w a little sort of bedroom situation in Mumbo's workshop, and Grian is nothing if not a learner. So he's gonna pick it up and, eventually, he'll want to help too. But i dont know if the moment he wants to help and the moment they let him aligns

Grian and Mumbo have a lot less tension between them than ScaR has w either of them. So I think if anything, the first person Grian helps IS Mumbo - in my mind its the most likely. Where ScaR and Grian are dancing around each other and refusing to outright state anything about their feelings, Mumbo and Grian are more quietly being in each others presences. Finding softness in forgiveness. So i think Mumbo is more likely to trust Grian first and THEN ScaR.

ScaR and Mumbo ALSO have their own relationship with this going on. After all, if Mumbo is the one who knows how to repair the bodies and augmetn them, then ScaR has to be able to trust him to do that. And, well, they both tried to kill each other AND they both nearly succeeded. So its like - the trust isnt there at all but also theyre both ignoring it for the sake of their own goals. Abd eventually thats gonna butt heads.

Hhhhhhh the robots,,,,@made-nondescript feel free ti add any thoughts too

Everything indicates that "When The World Is Crashing Down" will end as expected, and although this fills me with sadness as I learned to love and root for the main couple, I think it's appropriate for Aegon to die. How could he survive after so much physical trauma? There is a limit to the human body, but if you want to use some 💫 magic 💫 or 💫the power of protagonism💫, I don't think anyone will complain 😬😚

However, I wondered what I would like Angel to say to Cregan, or what I would say in her place. I imagine this:

Greens lose, blacks win, everything according to the book.

After crowning Aegon the Younger, Cregan returns to Winterfeel taking Angel with him. She seems isolated, apathetic, just a ghost of who she once was, a ghost of the image Cregan created in his head of who she was. He assumes it is because of all the suffering she went through as a prisoner of the Greens and is gentlemanly and respectful towards her, but still wants the engagement to go through. Angel doesn't oppose anything. What else could she do? She is just a woman, she has suffered so many losses and she still had to marry the man responsible for it. All the joy drained from her body along with Aegon's death. All that remains now is an empty body.

On their wedding night, after all the festivities, in which Angel spent the entire day without expressing an emotion, the two prepare to consummate their marriage.

Cregan is anxious and a little reluctant, afraid of hurting her. But Angel appears cold and indifferent. He assumes it's nervousness, embarrassment or modesty. He says she doesn't need to be afraid, he will treat her well, that he knows what the usurper did to her and that it will be nothing like the same.

The moment those words leave Cregan's mouth, something rises in Angel.

She slowly turns around and faces her new husband.

"What did he do to me? Do you know what he did to me? Of course not. How could you? You never asked me anything. Nobody ever asked me anything. They just assumed the worst that could have happened, accepted it as truth and slandered my name to the seven kingdoms. But no one ever asked me anything! Do you want to know what he did to me?"

Cregan tries to interrupt her, says she doesn't need to relive this moment of suffering. She gives a dry laugh, looks firmly at him and replies:

"Nothing. He never did anything to me. It's true, he took my maidenhood, but not without my consent. All the times, days and nights, that I lay in his bed was because I wanted to. But not just in his bed. On the floor, in the library, on the couch..." she says teasing him with venom in her words "Wherever he wanted me I gave myself to him willingly. Do you know why? Because I loved him. Truly, deeply and intensely. I LOVED HIM! I married him under the traditions of Old Valyria. I CHOSE HIM. AND YOU" pointing her finger at his chest "TOOK HIM FOR ME!"

By now, Angel is filled with hatred, resentment and bitterness

"Look at me, I want you to look into my eyes when I tell you this: you can have me as your wife, you may take my body, but you, Cregan Stark, will never, EVER possess my heart, for it is already dead along with the man I loved. King Aegon, second of his name, of the houses Targaryen and Hightower. The true love of my life. If you want to have me, you will have to force yourself on me and you will become exactly what you accused Aegon of being".

.

.

.

.

.

Or, in a simplified way, as Adele said " You may have my number, you can take my name. But you'll never have my heart"

- 🎭

Oh my god! OH MY GOD! Why would you make me read this. This fucked me up so bad. Oh my godddddd!!! My heart is broken! I'm crying into my cherry cheesecake! Is this what y'all feel like when you read my angsty angsty fics?? I need HELP! This is a WAR CRIME!