#god need to experience this for the first time in theatre again
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HAPPY ONE YEAR AOTV!!! I HAD THE BEST TIME EVER TAKE ME BACK ISTG 😭
#I MISS IT SO MUCH#IT WAS THE MOMENT#god need to experience this for the first time in theatre again#louis tomlinson#aotv#all of those voices#one direction#one direction fandom
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"i don't think i'll ever understand musicals the way you do" is something i've heard from one of my friends a couple of days ago when i told him i'm about to cross the whole country just to see one of those (my favourite one!) live in theatre. and i can't blame him. if you'd have told me a year ago that i would do something like that, i'd probably have laughed in your face. life is so unpredictable. i guess i have changed a lot. and i could write thousands of essays about how musicals helped me get through the shittiest period of my life, but we are not going to talk about this today. today we are talking about in the heights, the first musical i got a chance to experience live in theatre, hopefully not last. so grab a cup of coffee and make yourself comfortable, this is going to be the longest essay you've ever seen, friends.
a little warning: spoilers. a lot of them actually. so if, by any chance, you haven't seen/heard it yet and you are going to, don't read it.
first thing i feel like i need to mention is that they had this mini bar inside the theatre and you could order a lot of different drinks there and one of them was called abuela's coffee. i heard one lady explaining to someone that it's actually coffee with condensed milk. my jaw dropped and i was like CAN I STAY HERE FOREVER, PLEASE? for those who don't understand why, here's a quote from the first song:
USNAVI: abuela, my fridge broke, i got café but no con leche
ABUELA CLAUDIA: try my mother's old recipe: one can of condensed milk
so this was my first "OH! THEY GET IT!" moment (a little note here: i had a lot of oh, they get it moments, mostly because i don't have any people around me who understand musicals the way i do... honestly, you'd have to live inside my brain). that was the first time ever when i could actually be in the room where it happens with all those people who get it and care about it as much as i do (mostly actors and people responsible for the whole show tho, but we will get to this later).
let's get to the show. so when i finally went inside and i saw the stage, i already had tears in my eyes (don't judge me please). usnavi's store, abuela's door, daniela and carla's salon, all those puerto rican, cuban and dominican flags (one couple behind me was trying to figure out which one is which and it was funny because i knew and i wanted to scream)... listening and memorizing the whole soundtrack is one thing. being able to experience it all live is something else. all those things around me were so familiar and this was the first time in months (MONTHS! OR EVEN YEARS!) i felt really understood. after all, it was all like a little celebration of lin's story (the one i love with all my heart) and i truly felt like home. so that was another OH! THEY GET IT! moment.
i don't think i'm going to talk about every single song here, that's not the point. i will talk about my favourite moments, but also about things that didn't work very well in my opinion (again: this was a polish version so all the songs were translated into polish. and they did a really great job here, surprisingly. but it wasn't perfect, more about that later).
one thing you need to understand is that i will never be normal about musicals so of course i had to burst into tears at the very first song (i don't even know why, i think i was a little bit too excited). i was actually crying in the most random moments like when i first saw nina or at the end of carnaval del barrio because I KNEW WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT (who the hell cries at carnaval del barrio when everyone is having the time of their lives lol, me apparently).
ok, so the first song. the choreography, oh my god. it was everything. the translation was also pretty good here, i need to say this was probably one of my favourite moments. imagine me leaving today giggling like a child when usnavi came on that stage and started rapping, i was in heaven. also, i have to admit, the cast was amazing. i could never imagine anyone better for this role (and again, i am talking about polish actors because everyone knows who's the best usnavi of them all). he was cute and charming and awkward and so adorkable and also really handsome. he was actually perfect in my opinion.
i kinda lost my mind when i saw nina for the first time. first of all: i already knew who was going to play her and let's just say i fell in love with this actress before i even saw her live on that stage. this was important to me, because (as some of you know) nina rosario is my favourite character. and oh my god, she was an absolute perfection. what a voice, sweet jesus. i'm being serious, this girl is so talented, give her every award (i honestly hope i will have a chance to see her again one day, i'm just crazy about her). and breathe was so good! polish version was amazing, i was so scared they would screw it up, but they didn't, so all's good (this song is very important to me, ok?). also, she's a phenomenal actress, i could feel all her emotions for real. and of course i cried, what did you expect?
i don't have that much to say about benny, except that he was really cute and he had amazing chemistry with nina, so once again, the casting was really good. i mean, he is not chris jackson of course, but i have decided i'm not going to compare all those actors because everyone knows at this point how much i love OBC, i was trying to have an open mind. vanessa was also pretty great, amazing voice and her dancing skills, wow, just wow. i could talk about all those actors for days actually, but i'm not going to do that, so i will just quickly mention that i absolutely loved daniela and carla, abuela claudia made me cry, sonny was the funniest character in the whole play and i don't think i will ever recover after piragua guy's performance (i was the only person in the audience who was laughing when he came on that stage, they don't get it, ok? polish people have no sense of humour and that's a fact). actually, there were a lot of funny moments (obviously) and i was the only person who was laughing, god help me.
so let's get to the first thing that was a little disappointing for me. you will not believe it, but it was actually... 96,000 (this is one of my favourite songs and i seriously can't live like this). it's not the translation tho (it was honestly fine), it's the voice overlapping part at the end (again, the best thing ever, just listen to we don't talk about bruno from encanto and non-stop from hamilton and you will understand why it works so well in every lmm's song). the thing is, you could actually only hear vanessa's part and i wanted to die, because EXCUSE ME. i always sing usnavi's part and you could barely hear a word from it. but apart from that, the rest was fine, the choreography was amazing and it's just something i needed to mention because i had thoughts about it.
paciencia y fe! ok besties, i have thoughts, again. abuela claudia was absolutely incredible, also, her relationship with usnavi is something that you can't see in the movie version (they were so sweet i wanted to curl up and die. i knew about it before, i saw slime tutorial with obc on yt, ok? i'm pretty sure lin would be mad at me for watching bootlegs lol. i just wanted to say this). the translation didn't work out at the very end of the song tho, because when in the og version abuela sings about the "winning ticket", everyone knows already she won the lottery. i don't remember polish translation exactly, but it was something with double meaning, depends on how you interpret it, and i'm 100% sure people who didn't know the plot just didn't catch it. the rest of the song was absolutely beautiful tho.
when you're home. i was so afraid of this one, because i am totally crazy about this song (did i ever mention lin wrote this one after one of his first dates with vanessa? no? yes? ok i'll shut up about this now). oh, they did a really great job with it and it's a relief. i have nothing else to say, except that i was crying like a baby, but this song always makes me cry so what did you expect exactly? one of the best moments for sure. again, nina and benny's chemistry was absolutely incredible.
as much as i loved the club, i was actually really disappointed with one part, which is usnavi's famous "jealous i ain't jealous, i can take all these fellas, wHaTeVaaaaa". i've been waiting so long for this! and they messed it up with their stupid cringy translation which i don't even remember at the moment but usnavi was actually mad at benny and he cursed? ANYWAY. the rest of the song was great and the choreography was absolutely phenomenal, oh vanessa! let me get the next one! (i love her so much, she was amazing here). a little note from me: no one was laughing at the "no hablo ingles" part, NO ONE BUT ME!!! THEY DON'T GET IT! WTF! i was so mad (i am aware of the fact that most people probably didn't even know this story before and they just wanted to see a musical, not THE MUSICAL, which is totally fine. but sweet jesus, where is their sense of humour? they left it at home or what?).
and blackout was that part where the voice overlapping effect worked very well, so all's good. actually, one of the best moments for me as well. people were actually so confused when all the lights went down, but that was just so amazing. all the panic! everybody was screaming, crying! WE ARE POWERLESS! THE END OF ACT I!!! oh, i had the time of my life.
i had this weird feeling that they didn't exactly know how to translate most of hundreds of stories so they just made this song shorter than it actually is. which is fine i guess. honestly, it's better than bad translation, so i can forgive them. what i absolutely can't forgive tho is that the audience wasn't laughing at US NAVY. polish people, you have no fucking taste. i said what i said. and then again, usnavi and abuela's relationship was so sweet this song actually made me cry (mostly because i knew what was coming but also, i was just this weird girl who was sitting there in the second row and was crying at the most random moments).
ok, guys, honestly. carnaval del barrio was the best moment from the entire musical. oh, how much i want to experience it again! daniela was absolutely incredible, carla was so sweet, piragua guy stole the whole fucking show for me (seriously guys! he was just so amazing!). also, those little details i have never noticed before? i can't even tell if the same thing happened in the original version (the quality of that bootleg is actually terrible), but benny dancing with american flag somewhere in the background was so fucking funny and i don't think i will ever get over that part where at the end they were all still dancing and celebrating and nina and usnavi just ran away as fast as they could because... because you guys know what just happened. also, this is the moment i started crying.
i was so scared of it. let me tell you one thing, i experienced abuela's death at least fifty times and i still cry every single time. so atención is something i have to mention, because all the emotions and kevin's shaky voice made me burst into tears right away, and this time i wasn't the only one because i saw a lot of people crying when they realized what happened (i also heard a lot of OHs when he said abuela passed away, so yes, most of them didn't know this story and they were surprised). and alabanza was something else. believe me when i tell you i am writing this with tears in my eyes, i have never cried so much in public. this was the moment i was the most scared of and i was absolutely right because holy fuck. i was a mess. all the actors with those candles singing alabanza a doña claudia! (yes, they didn't translate it, all the spanish parts were left like in the original version and i am so grateful for that), it was just so sad and so beautiful. and this time i was actually like oh, they get it now (everyone was speechless and people were crying).
everyone must know at this point how much i adore champagne and i wasn't disappointed (thank god!). once again, usnavi was absolutely adorable here and people were actually laughing this time (also thank god!). how do you get this gold shit off? (my favourite line from the whole musical) was translated really well and the moment when usnavi and vanessa kissed! with all lights on them! this was so emotional and the audience reacted so well! we were all clapping (it was so funny to pretend like i didn't know it was gonna happen haha i was just as excited as all of them and once again i was like OH! THEY GET IT!). 10/10, would recommend.
if you think i wasn't crying during the last song, think again. one thing i absolutely hate about the movie version is that they actually changed the graffiti that made usnavi stay in washington heights, but i'm not gonna talk about that and i'm not gonna talk about vanessa also being there in the movie. in the original version it was a portrait of abuela claudia made by graffiti pete and oh boy, i lost my mind (i knew about it but i still lost my mind because it was absolutely beautiful). i got the feeling it was a little rushed in our polish version, but i can forgive them because it still made me cry. also, at the very end, usnavi did not only finally acknowledge he's home, when the song was over he pretty much told the audience that we are all home right now and may i just say... i felt that. i was home. they made me believe for the first time in my life i was where i belong, and somehow that was everything.
one thing about me is that this is actually all new to me. this was my first musical i saw live in theatre (and also lin's first child, which is exactly how it was supposed to be i think), and believe me when i tell you i've never had this much fun in my entire life, not even at all the concerts of my favourite artists. it was worth every money. it was worth spending 11 hours on the train and 11 more on my way back home, which by the way we should normalize (people are doing crazy things just to see their favourite artists on the stage and it's considered normal, so why can't we consider THIS normal?). anyway, i don't expect anyone around me to understand it the way i do, but i feel like i really found my thing, and it's all because of lin-manuel miranda, our beautiful puerto rican genius. he made me believe musicals can be cool and i truly wish i could thank him for that one day.
and like i said, in the heights is my favourite story with my favourite characters and i listened to it so many times i have memorized all the little details. experiencing it live is something completely different tho and i think it's safe to say this was the best night of my entire life. even tho most of the people in the audience didn't really get it, i finally felt like i was a part of this world created by my favourite genius and for the first time ever i felt understood. so i think i can say that now: i found my island, guys, i'm there, i'm home!
#if you were able to read the whole thing: congrats#also another note from me: i apologize for all those “they get it” “they dont get it”#i swear to god i am not making fun of anyone#you guys just know how much i am into it#and if other people were just there to enjoy it it's totally fine!#not everyone has to be obsessed!#but i am!#so i just wanted to explain it ok?#good.#also i apologize for it being so long but i had so much to say and i still feel like i didn't say everything i wanted#feel free to leave a comment or ask any questions if you want#now if you think i will finally shut up about in the heights on my silly little blog think again#i love it even more now if that's possible#and another explanation: i'm gonna tag this as my countdown because again i want all my ith posts in one place#thank you for your attention#it won't be long now*#why do you write like you're running out of time*#(not gonna tag this as ith cause this is only for my moots cause you guys get it)#(the last time one of my ith posts was seen by people who dont even know what that is i was depressed for days but that's another story)#(iykyk)#(and you know cause you left me tons of sweet messages guys i love you)
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Luke Thompson for The Guardian
The actor Luke Thompson, 35, was born in Southampton, grew up in France and trained at Rada. He was nominated for two awards for his first professional role in A Midsummer Night’s Dream at Shakespeare’s Globe. After 10 years in theatre, his screen breakthrough came playing Benedict Bridgerton in the Netflix hit Bridgerton, which will return soon for its third season. On stage, he recently played Willem in A Little Life, opposite James Norton, and is now making his RSC debut as Berowne in Love’s Labour’s Lost.
You recently won a WhatsOnStage award and were nominated for an Olivier for A Little Life. Was that gratifying?
It’s a lovely cherry on the cake of that experience. It’s easy to have an opinion on awards when you haven’t been nominated but actually they mean a lot. I’ve devoted a lot of time and thought to getting better at acting, so it’s incredibly meaningful to be recognised like that.
What was the audience reaction like? There were reports of fainting.
Oh god, yes, everything. There were weeks when it was mad. The craziest one was towards the end of the run. Someone was coughing very loudly during a quiet moment in the play and the show had to stop. It turned out they’d projectile vomited in the dress circle, over other people, who then started retching too, so it was like a chain reaction. I wonder sometimes how much of it is self-perpetuating. The more people come expecting graphic content, the stronger they might react. There’s definitely been an uptick in fainting incidents post-pandemic.
How was working with James Norton?
Fantastic. What I love about James is that he keeps it simple. I don’t know if it’s because of his screen experience but in theatre, the risk of repeating a show over and again is that you start to decorate it and it becomes unrecognisable. Whereas James always wanted to trim the fat and get back to the core of it.
We’re speaking during a break in rehearsals for Love’s Labour’s Lost. Is your RSC debut a big deal for you?
A really big deal. It’s a lovely time to do it as well, when there’s been a changeover of artistic directors. It feels like a fresh page. To be the first production in the big theatre is a real honour.
Director Emily Burns’s production is inspired by billionaire tech bros, right?
The play itself is very Elizabethan. We’ve tried to put it in a modern, more relatable context. It opens with a group of rich, powerful men who are very anxious about what to do with their time, what’s real, what’s honest, what’s fake. We all live in that online world now. It’s also about self-improvement and how to deal with these horrible things [points at his mobile phone].
The play includes Shakespeare’s longest speech. How do you go about learning that?
As always with Shakespeare, there are different versions swimming around but yes, it’s a mouthful. Lines in these great texts work like magic spells. You learn them, repeat them and it stirs things in you. So I mutter it to myself and see what happens. Somehow it’s easier when I’m on the move, but I have to be careful. I’ll be walking down the street and run into someone while reciting lines at full throttle. Then I’ll go quiet because it’s like being caught out.
There’s an ongoing debate about West End ticket prices. Should theatre be more accessible?
Of course. It’s not just about accessibility, it’s about the role of theatre. I sometimes worry it’s for the 0.05% of the population who go all the time but I still believe theatre has a societal function. It’s a bit like politics – you need everyone involved, from as many different backgrounds as possible. Theatre should be the opposite of an echo chamber. It’s about coming together and sharing ideas. That’s increasingly rare nowadays. We’re all stuck behind our screens, slightly uncomfortable with the idea of proper debate and exchange.
Bridgerton series three is imminent. Where do we find your character Benedict?
Things come to a head in terms of trying to work out what he actually wants. When you’re “the spare”, there’s a lack of pressure. Benedict flits around having fun, free and easy, but he’s also paralysed by choice and searching for something more meaningful. He’s quite a modern character in that way: I know a lot of people trying to build meaning in their life.
Is this series as sexy as ever?
Of course. Julia Quinn’s books are romance novels, so it would be a betrayal not to explore that. It’s a genre with its own codes. That’s what’s so delicious about the show. Sometimes it’s dismissed as unserious, but there may be some misogyny in that. People love romance. There’s not enough of it around.
What’s it like seeing your bare backside on screen?
Quite strange. We don’t often get that view of ourselves. In a way, it’s good to keep track of these things.
A disabled character joins the cast this series. Are you proud of Bridgerton’s diversity?
Hugely proud. It’s great to see everybody represented on screen. Disabled people were around in those times. It also gives the lie to the authenticity police who govern how period dramas are done. Particularly in the UK – it happens with Shakespeare productions as well – there’s a whole army of people ready to insist that it’s supposed to be like a museum piece. It’s often governed by a nostalgia for something that never even existed. Bridgerton’s not a documentary, it’s a drama. In drama, you can do whatever the fuck you want, Shakespeare wrote history plays that are completely inaccurate historically and no one gives him any shit about that. I guess partly because he’s dead. But it’s a poetic reality and Bridgerton is no different.
What’s it like learning Regency dance styles for ballroom scenes?
Great fun. I have to be careful with spoilers or I’ll get arrested, but I get a nice dancing moment this season. It’s fascinating when you understand these dances as basically like a dating app. They get people to speak, touch, be close – then literally swipe to the next row.
Luke Newton plays Colin Bridgerton. Does it ever get confusing with two Lukes playing brothers?
It’s OK because I tend to be referred to as “Lukey T” and he’s “Newts”. There’s a whole flurry of acting Lukes suddenly. Later in the RSC season, Luke Thallon is playing Hamlet. I grew up thinking I was the only Luke in the village but it’s back in fashion. We’re all roughly the same age, so there must have been a Luke moment back in the late 80s/early 90s!
What do people tend to come up and say when they recognise you?
It’s always a lovely exchange. The breadth of people who are Bridgerton fans is heartwarming. Although once someone asked: “Are you from Bridgerton?” I evaded the question a little bit, then saw her Google “Bernard Bridgerton” on her phone, which made me laugh. Who’s Bernard? Another came up with a photo of Jonny Bailey [who plays Lord Anthony Bridgerton] and said: “This is you, isn’t it?” I was like: “Well, obviously not. We play brothers, sure, but we look quite different.” The funniest was on a plane to New York recently with some of the Bridgerton lot. The air steward came up to Claudia [Jessie, who plays Eloise Bridgerton] and said: “Oh my god, you look like Eloise from Bridgerton!” She pointed at me and said: “And doesn’t he look like the brother?” The air steward said: “Oh, I wish!” So apparently I look shit in real life.
Which fellow actors do you admire?
I just saw American Fiction and the whole cast were terrific but Sterling K Brown was particularly great as the brother. It was just simple, warm, easy acting. It was also lovely to see Jeffrey Wright front and centre for a change.
What theatre have you enjoyed recently?
I loved An Enemy of the People with Matt Smith and had the best time at Sunset Boulevard. It was so fun, sexy and exciting.
How do you relax when you’re not working?
I’m a pianist. I’ve played since I was a kid and did all the grades. Sometimes acting can feel like you’re always deferring to other people and don’t have much control but piano is something entirely yours. I can sit down, play classical stuff for two or three hours, and not notice the time pass. I’d be up for including it in an acting job someday.
Do you have a dream role?
It’s a terrible cliche to say you want to play Hamlet, but most actors do. And I’d love to play Iago, mainly because a casting director once told me: “You can’t play Iago because you’re too nice.” That’s such a misunderstanding of how evil works. It’d be nice to explore something a little bit more unpleasant.
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Shuffle your favorite playlist and post the first five songs that come up. Then copy/paste this ask to your favorite mutuals. 💌💛
um also maria addition: i did a below the cut where i spoke abt my relationship with each song so. if u wanna do that too... encouraged. i care. i wanna know. and i LOVE U👉👈 (pls dont feel heartbroken that im copy n pasting this part to a few of our mutuals too. i just love u guys sm ok) (kissing u elena kissing uuuuu)
MARIANARA SAUCE!!!!!!!! HELLO!!!!!!!!! there were so many songs on my playlist that i wanted to add but i stuck to the rules of the game 🫡
goo goo muck by the cramps
gay thoughts by the growlers
ghostbusters by ray parker jr.
the waves have come by chelsea wolfe
strong reflection by mars red sky
goo goo muck — the cramps: i owned 3 cramps t shirts from middle school to highschool (then i moved and lost em...i gotta find them again...): 1 was just black & white, 1 was black white & hot ass pink, and 1 was bright fucking yellow. all featuring that weird skeleton zombie man from the band's "bad music for bad people" album cover. i loved each and every one of those damn shirts. oh and every time i got my period id wear one of my cramps shirts to school. no idea if anyone actually caught on but it sparked a lot of joy in kid me LOL. the band itself is very grungy and reminds me sm of my childhood going to shitty backyard concerts
gay thoughts — the growlers: the growlers was one of the first bands i ever saw at a real concert, and it was one of the strangest grimiest experiences of my childhood. it took place inside this huge ornate theatre with barely any crowd. everyone was high, the singer kept leaving the stage in the middle of songs/during guitar solos to take a piss bc he kept drinking beers throughout the performance, there were boob shaped lamps lighting up the back stage. my sister was friends with one of the guitarists. and afterwards we got THE best sushi of my LIFE in THE most sketchy ass looking hole-in-the-wall restaurant. truly was just a huge vibe overall and one of the only fond memories i have with that sister. (also this song has the most ridiculous story ever?? questioning man keeps running off to gay drag shows and cheating on his girlfriend with men and it turns out his girlfriend's been using the time he's gone to ALSO cheat on him. but with women. queer4queer solidarity??? the yt video's great)
ghostbusters — ray parker jr.: ok yknow what. i keep trying to watch this movie and getting fucking bored midway through but my GOD does this song fuck. every halloween like clockwork i start blasting ghostbusters and the pure fucking euphoria it brings me is unparalleled. so i guess im not surprised i have it saved on one of my most listened to playlists SDGHJKFD
the waves have come — chelsea wolfe: different vibe than the previous songs and also i feel like i keep finding excuses to talk about this song but my fucking god it is just. so so very dear to me. i think it's genuinely held the number one spot for my most repeats on spotify for like. a DECADE. something about it dude i cant explain it. life changing. heartbreaking. like getting lost in a brutal storm at sea
strong reflection — mars red sky: dude that intro riff. bro... need i say more. low grungy riffs are EVERYTHINGGG if it isnt growling whats the POINT!!!!!!! this song feels like a cargo boat thats slowly rocking in an ocean made of smoke and tar. but also it's in the vacuum of space. and you're tripping balls
none of my super ridiculous cheesey 80s/90s songs got picked which is super fucked up... but oh well... next time maybe 🫶
#asks#music#marianara sauce#TY FOR THE ASK BELOVED#SORRY MY MUSIC TASTE IS..............................THE WAY IT IS
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those great whites they have big teeth
warnings: future NSFW; not canon or epilogue compliant; mind the tag
notes: 7k+ words, no beta
ao3 // gif source
In his last attempts to stop quickly growing unrest, President Snow decides to listen to Plutarch Heavensbee and promote his very own star-crossed lowers.
I try to hurry up the steps of the Capitol Theatre but my handler - an elderly woman named Antonia wearing a wig in the colour of fresh lime - is stopping me all the time and asking to pose for photographs. Perhaps her ulterior motive was to blind me because my eyes need several seconds to come back to normal after flashes assault them.
- Rosamund! - a paparazzi calls my name and points a little higher to the steps on my right that a woman from Capitol was posing before.
- He wants you there. - Antonia says while pushing me up. - Perhaps look at them over your arm?
Perhaps not but I know I need to do as she says. I let her style the long dress train and my hair and try to give my widest smile to the people with the cameras. I hoped at first that the light pink dress chosen for me would be too boring here but people seem to love the bow on my back. Thankfully, just as I consider rolling back down the stairs the crowd goes wild.
- Oh, it's Gloss and Enobaria. - Antonia sounds dreamy. - They look so beautiful together.
I take my chance and hike up my skirts and dart up the stairs before she can react. I tiptoe behind Caesar interviewing Cecelia about the Games. What does she think about the couple that won the Games? What about their fighting style? There is no way I want to answer those questions so I rush inside the theatre.
Dear god, this whole experience makes me dislike Plutarch even more. Why did I agree to work with him again?
- Excuse me, please excuse me. - I am not sure why I even bother. Most of the people don't move and I have to squeeze myself in to pass them making sure no one steps on my dress.
I try to find someone I know, any familiar face just to not feel like a pig being led to the slaughter.
- Excuse me, - I say and a man wearing glasses looks at me like I am an alien from another universe. - Beetee, right?
- Yes. Rosamund, am I correct? - He gives me his hand and I shake it. - I don't think I have seen you here since your games.
He sounds curious but not unkind. I feel hopeful for a moment before reminding myself that everyone can be an enemy here.
- Yeah, - I giggle nervously. - Listen, I know it's dumb and I don't want to bother you but I don't know anyone here so would you be so kind as to tell me what we are supposed to do here? I lost both my escort and people from my District somewhere.
I don't tell him how hopeful I am that Antonia broke her neck. And there's no point in bothering either Roman or Lucius. They are probably doing coke somewhere.
- It's the first premiere ever so I truly don't know either. - his voice is kind again but I cannot stop myself from getting closer to him when I feel another hand on my body. I desperately want people to stop touching me.
- Yeah, do you mind if I stay with you? I tried following Blight up the stairs but I was too slow. Sorry if that's too much you don't need to…
- Hey, - he stops my spiral and grabs me by my arm. - Everything's fine, you are not bothering me. Just breathe, all right? I actually like having someone around too.
- Do you guys mind pretending to talk with me and going somewhere looking busy so I can get fucking drunk? - Haymitch, the most important person here probably, and one of the worst to hang around if you want to stay on Snow���s good side, puts his hand on Beetee’s hand that's on my arm.
I should want to stay on Snow’s good side but I don't care at the moment. I don’t think I ever cared after my father died. Plutarch wouldn’t be too happy with me I guess.
- Yes, please. - I say, fanning my face with my free hand. - Just give me a moment.
I force myself to stop breathing until my lungs hurt. The burning spreads to my face and my cheeks feel hot. Both men look at each other before taking me by the arms and leading me somewhere. There are dark spots in my vision and I must actually look terrible because the important-looking person who is supposed to be responsible for stopping us shows us a space to “take a break instead”.
It's a small space outside where people working at the theatre must be going to smoke a cigarette. There is an old red cup full of cigarette butts. There are also several bar-stools standing in a circle that we end up sitting on like teenagers plotting how to make our principal's life hell. Some kind of air conditioning machine loudly hums over our heads. I know because I have one at my Capitol-sponsored house back in my District.
I cannot stop either the giggles that are leaving my mouth or the single tears that escape from each of my eyes. Carefully as not to destroy my make-up I wipe with a single finger under each eye.
- I always find it fascinating how you women do that. - Haymitch takes out a hip flask and points to my eyes before taking a huge sip, burps and I laugh nervously again. - Are you here just for the movie premiere?
- God, I wish. - I put my fingers under my eyes again. - Sorry, I think that whole not-breathing act did something to me.
Why I cannot stop the tears?! It did not happen any other time I used this trick.
- I am here as damage control. I am supposed to meet my Capitol-approved partner. Apparently, they are also a Victor. - I look at Haymitch and some kind of disgust overtakes me. - I hope it’s not you!
The tears that follow are somehow bigger than the first ones. I use the end of my hair to wipe them off quickly.
- This is all stupid, I don't like this dress and don’t even get to have pockets! - I burst out crying now.
A chair fails and Haymitch stumbles out telling us to wait out. He comes back with someone and I recognize Cecelia immediately even through the tears. There are some kind of words exchanged and worried looks being sent my way. I pray for the air conditioning to fall on me and take me out.
- Head and hands up, inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth - Either Cecelia’s voice is like a balm for my soul or maybe it’s the fact that I did what she asked me to. She puts tissues under both of my eyes - Good, your makeup is waterproof.
She dabs the tissues delicately to make sure there are no tears left and throws it away in the corner next to the mug. She sits on the stool in front of me.
- So you have no hints who’s the lucky guy? - she's not smiling.
- I don't have any idea. I forgot to ask. - I admit and am met with two groans and laughter. I think the last one is coming from Haymitch.
- We are forced to marry in my District by a certain age and I... - I admit and start cackling madly. - I took it as a chance to push that moment away a little I guess.
- None of your male Victors are married. - Beetee says.
- The laws only apply to women. - I don’t even hide how bitter I am about this.
- It will be someone from either one or two, - Cecelia sounds like she's trying to warn me.
- I doubt it. - Haymitch says. - the closest people in age to her are either not so popular or in relationships. Would look fishy or could turn into a PR disaster.
- But that leaves only Annie, Augustus, Finnick or Johanna. - Beetee says.
- Augustus is from Two. - Cecelia reminds him.
- Haymitch presses his lips together and looks at me like he is choosing his words very, very carefully.
- Can you run fast?
- What? - I ask and blink not understanding what he's hinting at. Maybe he's much more drunk or I am extra dumb right now. Anyway, the question makes me laugh. Everything makes me laugh today it seems.
- Finnick’s escort was getting attacked at least once per week by his rabid fans after they were photographed too close together. Effie told me someone even keyed her car. Twice.
- It may be Johanna or Augustus. - I say ignoring Cecelia’s previous comment.
- You don't want it to be them. - Haymitch tells me. - And Annie's, it’s the best for her not to be brought back here.
He looks genuinely sad for a moment, takes another sip and moves closer to me. Starts gesticulating with his hands.
- It's gonna be Finnick for sure. You two are gonna be that picture-perfect couple everyone wants to be. A famous heartthrob coming back home to his crush he was hiding away from everyone. A romance growing away from prying eyes. A stunning and beautiful woman no one knows much about until you both are in a serious stage of your relationship. All the men will want a woman like that and all the women will try to look as appealing as you in hopes of getting someone like Finnick for themselves. And you know what? I am not sorry, in fact, I am very happy it's you.
Haymitch stands up and stumbles towards me. One of his hands ends up on my bare arm.
- You may take attention from my victors and may help their families stay alive. I’m just sad for you that it’s Finnick that's your partner. But that won't keep me awake at night.
A door opens and the man from before asks me if I am better. I get up from my chair very slowly making it look like I may still not be.
- You could at least pretend to be some kind of support. - I say bitterly to Haymitch and reach for Beetee when I stumble for real.
Haymitch has the decency to look ashamed for maybe four seconds.
- I will do my best, I guess.
- What’s wrong with Finnick? - I ask when we step outside.
- Nothing. - says Beetee.
- He’s a peacock. - says Haymitch at the same time.
There's a huge group of people waiting outside the cinema hall. Cecelia helps me keep the end of my gown up when we join it so no one steps on it and I won't stumble or fall. Only now I am calm enough to watch the people here. Women are wearing mostly dresses with big sleeves and huge flower bands in their hair. It takes me a moment to realise that they are trying to copy Effie’s look from the reaping. Cecelia is wearing a simple yet elegant yellow gown that ends at her ankles. She has some bees sewn on her arms. My own gown looks somehow strange here, taking too much space. Plus it’s a little small in the breast area and I remind myself not to slouch and walk like Quasimodo.
Someone spots Haymitch with us and we are moved immediately inside. A person guiding us raves to us how amazing this new cinema hall is. The love seats are made from some kind of leather that got painted dark blue. There’s a tiny armrest in the middle of every loveseat that can be brought down. Between every love seat is a table with many buttons that allow you to call for various beverages - from water to wine and even vodka. Food is listed also: popcorn, pizza and chips.
There's no assigned seating so I point Blight to Cecelia when I see him and grab Beetee with my free hand. Haymitch ends next to Chaff behind us in the highest row. Mags is sitting next to Chaff on the other side. I wonder if we could move there instead but someone sits down there and she looks happy to see that man. I think he’s from 9 but I don’t remember.
- Not saving a seat for your boyfriend? - is the first thing out of Blight's mouth when I sit down next to him in a loveseat.
- Hello to you too. - I say putting a smaller armchair down and ordering water for myself. - Why would I when I can put him in your lap?
The way he mocked me hurts me a little more than I would like to admit. And how does he know anyway? I turn away from him to Cecelia and Beetee who are talking about something called emdr therapy and gentle parenting.
- You have children? - I ask Beetee. I know Cecelia has three.
- No. - he looks a little sad. - But some of those approaches help when I work with Wiress.
I like it when people talk about things that they are passionate about and both Beetee and Cecelia try to cram as much information as they can in the short time to explain to me the psychological approach behind those ideas. Also how it can help adults with complex trauma. Blight starts hitting my knee with his own so I move my legs away, put my chin on my hand and lean closer to Cecelia. I ask them if there is a way I can get my hands on some of the information they learned about. They did not teach us anything like that at the secret school that is run by the rebels in our District.
Someone kicks my chair from behind. I ignore it and the kick happens again. I put the glass down and I send the worst look I can at Haymitch.
- Did you run out of people to annoy or are you trying to warn me that you are about to throw up on me? - I whisper in an angry tone.
He looks at me with one eyebrow raised and puts his hand on the armrest in between him and Blight. Why is Blight sitting there, anyway? A sudden realization hits me and my body turns cold. I straighten up and turn to my right to see who is there only to come face to face with smirking Finnick and snickering Johanna behind him.
God, his jaw alone looks stronger than my will to live.
- I can’t do this. - I whisper aloud and turn to Cecelia who is staring daggers at people sitting behind her but takes my hand.
My mind is blank for a whole minute trying to process the situation but the lights go out and the staff usher a few last people. Caesar walks on the stage and starts talking about the great event that is the first cinema premiere of the summary of Hunger Games. He has a glass of champagne in his hand and many people ask for drinks immediately. A choir from 12 is getting ready to sing before the movie. Their voices and the voices of people trying to sing along drunkenly become a white noise to me as I try as much as possible to ignore looks from the Victors around me and Finnick burning a hole in my face with his eyes. It seems only Cecelia is on my side and I clutch her hand as a lifeline.
I am going to murder Plutarch in his sleep. What was he even thinking? Did he slip that idea to Snow? Which one of them chose Finnick? No, forget it, why did I even agree to this anyway? Was my life really this bad back in 10? I was terribly lonely but I had food and a roof over my head. Why did I decide to change that? Was I that scared of being forced into marriage? How is this any different?
Haymitch is hitting my chair again and I close my eyes, take a deep breath and let go of Cecelia’s hand. I turn around to him. I act before I even think about what I am doing. I grab his foot with my hand and yank. Unfortunately, Cecelia yanks me too and I end back in my seat only with Haymitch’s shoe. No one seems to mind us as people are standing up to clap until the choir leaves. I throw the shoe in between me and Cecelia and kick it under the chair of the man from District 8 sitting in front of me. A foot in an old sock ends in between me and Cecelia when we are sitting down and I move my body away from it so fast I expect my back to hit an armchair strong enough to hurt. Instead, I collide with Finnick. His hand steadies me and I have no choice but to turn my face to him awkwardly.
- Sorry. - I say. He does not move his eyes from my face.
I wish I could run through the deep forest green of his eyes.
- Are you? - he asks. He moves his legs a little and spreads his thighs. I cringe inside when my first reaction is to move mine away when we touch. Something arrogant fills the air. - I never saw someone turn me down so fast, I think my ego may be actually bruised for the first time. Perhaps you could give me a chance to change your mind?
And then he winks at me. I am genuinely humiliated with how the situation is turning out.
Another kick from Haymitch and my head turns around so fast it may actually snap. He is making big eyes at me, drinks a whole glass of clear liquid that surely is not water and makes big eyes at me again. He looks like one of those huge white owls back home. Of course, if owls could get drunk. Blight is looking like he regrets changing his seat.
- Just ignore him, Snow’s not here so he will get drunk in no time. - Finnick tells me.
He is watching me closely and his eyes move from my own to my mouth and back to my eyes again. He licks his lips and leans over my body to take my glass of water. Our bodies don’t touch but I can feel the heat of his body. He winks at me when he sits back.
- You should focus on me instead. - Finnick says and drinks from my glass watching me the whole time. I am sure his lips are touching it in a place where my lipstick is smeared.
Someone groans behind us and I turn to see Blight with his face in his hand. Haymitch looks impressed and gives me a thumbs up. Cecelia nods at me gently. A strand of hair gets stuck on my face after I turn back around. Finnick moves it away before I even begin to lift my own hand. His left-hand ends casually on my thighs after.
The whole movie thing is a bizarre experience. People shout at the screen, scream obscenities and some jump up when the person they dislike ends up being shown during the interviews part of the movie. Some popcorn is getting thrown at the screen. The whole time Finnick’s hand is on my body, his fingers pressing into my skin from time to time.
I touch it when the bloodbath happens on the screen. It’s warm, his skin is soft and rough at the same time. He has some calluses on his fingers and I trace them with my nails back and forth for some time. I move onto his nails next and trace them too. Short and blunt. I touch every one of them slowly then move to the first one and trace every nail again. Then I trace every one of them two times and three and so on.
It's dumb but it's everything I can do to not to think about what is happening around us. I hope it’s not annoying Finnick too much. Only when Peeta is covered in mud and mouths “Katniss” and some people laugh, I stop what I’m doing to Finnick’s hand. Instead I slide some bit further in my chair and move my knees into Finnick’s space. He brings his knee under both of mine and I suddenly feel very hot. There's a part inside my body that clenches when he moves his hand to my knees and squeezes the left.
When Rue gets killed I start watching his hand instead of the screen and try to recognize all the things his smell brings to my mind. Salt like sea I guess, I’ve never seen it. Some vanilla I think. Like cakes and ice cream in summer. Freshly cut wood, not as strong as Blight or Beetee use but more airy kind. And there’s something flowery there too. I move my head a little to pretend to watch the movie more comfortably and inhale deeply. Jasmine, it’s a gift from god, they say. It may truly be when it comes to Finnick.
People holler when Cato runs through the bushes and Katniss with Peeta climb onto Cornutopia. I see Cecelia bringing her hands to her face from the corner of my eye. The noise coming from the speakers somehow numbs me and I am taken back in time to when I was in my games hearing the other last two people standing and killing each other. Finnick squeezes my knee and starts pressing his fingers into my skin from his smallest to his thumb. I look at him but he’s busy talking to Johanna.
I wonder how does it feel to be 14 and kill so many people. I wonder how does it feel to appear to not to be affected at all. I don’t think it’s part of his personality. Does he wake up every day and puts on a mask? Or how is it to be loved by so many people in the Capitol and worshipped by many others in the Districts. Even in my own one people look up to him.
I wonder if he looks down on me and sees me as a coward. If he despises me for being stuck with me.
I sit up straighter when the stint with blueberries happens and remove my legs from Finnick’s, moving them a little up and down in my shoes that feel too small after all.
People whistle and clap when Katniss’ crying face shows in the hovercraft and we again stand up when the lights get turned on. The whole venue looks like something erupted there. The smell of alcohol is strong in the air and the floor is covered in food. So much waste.
Haymitch pushes me and almost topples over the chair while trying to get his shoe. It forces me to step into Finnick’s space and I hit his chest with my elbow.
- Sorry, - I say.
He does not look at me busy talking with Johanna who looks like she wants to rip someone's throat out. His arm wraps around me with his hand resting on my stomach and I freeze and tense my muscles there. It's not my favourite part to be touched. I wrap my hand around his to keep it place when he starts moving it down and move my ear around so I can over listen Finnick and Johanna arguing whenever she should leave or not. Are they dating? Am I a problem here?
- Hey, - Blight announces loudly - thirty minutes here and then we meet at the cars.
I try to follow Cecelia when she asks me but Finnick keeps me firmly in his wrap.
- Sorry, - I say but he is still talking with Johanna. I pinch his hand. - Unless your hand is going with me to the bathroom I suggest you let me go.
Johanna looks me up and down like she’s about to hit me with one of her hammers. Finnick squeezes my stomach again which makes me angry for some reason. He then slides his hand around my back and that makes me feel something very interesting inside.
Oh no, I am so fucked. I pick up my dress and without a word run after Cecelia.
----
- Where the fuck have you been? - Is literally the first thing out of Johanna’s mouth when we climb inside the limo. The door did not even close behind me. - Were the wardrobe changes that important?
- I got stuck in the loo. - Cecelia says taking out a mirror from her bag. She looks herself over there before answering. - It’s not my fault they did not get me out that fast.
- I am glad she’s covering for me. Yes, she got stuck but on a purpose. She spent more than fifteen minutes there helping me to calm down and giving me tips on how to fake bing in love and all that. She did not laugh when I told her I never dated anyone. I don’t think I will be ever able to express properly to her how thankful I am. I wonder how does she know all of that but am afraid to ask.
She’s wearing another yellow dress. It slightly passes her knees and has those Effie-like sleeves. Surprisingly, the bright yellow looks good on her. I don’t see any other female Victors being able to rock such colour.
- Why are you allowed a bag? - I ask. - I don’t even have pockets again.
Someone else dressed me this time. My district’s stylist only chose pinks for me whenever we worked together. However, now I am dressed in a simple silver slip dress that ends in the middle of my calf with some blue tulle ruffles decorating around my breasts and at the bottoms of my dress. My shoes are the right size. Surprisingly, or maybe not really, I feel much freer in a dress that is not hugging my body tight and in shoes that don't pinch.
- And you could not text us? - Johanna’s voice is getting on my nerves. In fact, everything is. The number of people in the car, the fact that I don’t know where Finnick is and how I am supposed to make it work with him while keeping my feelings in check.
- I don’t have a phone. - I answer instead of Cecelia. - Kinda bold of you to assume I would like to have your number anyway when you act like that towards me.
- What the fuck! - She stands up.
She moves up and in my direction but the car turns and she ends on her seat again. She's sitting in the middle and Blight is holding her back so I think I have a chance to get to our next destination without actually having to defend myself.
- Can you girls leave it for some other time? - he says. - Let’s just let go for a night.
- Legs together. - Cecelia reminds me when the car stops.
It must have started raining outside shortly after we left. The flashes are covered by the umbrellas mostly. I use the weather as the reason to run inside. Surprisingly, the stilettos are good for that too. I wait for Cecelia around the door. Neither Haymitch or Beetee were in the car with us and I desperately want to avoid Johanna.
I don't see Finnick for which I am glad this time. The truth is his presence is making me dizzy and ready to faint. Also - all my insecurities jump out when I am around him. It's like I think people see me as a charity case for him. I know I see myself as a charity case for sure.
I stick to Cecelia's side for the whole time and talk with some women. They talk about that new trend of a single huge flower on a hairband in their hair that Effie started. What flowers should I choose and what the meaning behind every one of them is. I just nod and add polite comments on the clothes they are wearing when I feel that I might have drunk a bit too much alcohol. A waiter comes with the drinks again and I take another flute of champagne but don't drink it. The laughter comes a little easier for me now and I notice our group becomes louder. It's surprisingly easy to fit in once you ignore that the world is swaying a little. The concern comes when I suddenly get afraid of what may come out of my mouth and want Cecelia or anyone to take my hand. The walls are closing on me and my stomach does this weird thing when it wants to get everything up.
- Thank you, - Finnick takes the flute from me and brings his arm around my middle. His hand rests on my side this time and he moves it up and down there.
He works our group like a shepherd dog herding animals. They listen to his every word for several minutes and wish us a great time when he says that our car is here. I am surprised at how quickly we leave. I catch some women raising their eyebrows when Finnick moves his hand down my back and starts leading me out.
He exchanges some pleasantries with a few people on our way and introduces them to me. A general, a doctor, a model and so on. I wonder what the driver is thinking about having to wait for us for so long.
As we near the door he takes his hand away from me and takes off his suit jacket and unbuttons two more buttons of his shirt. He wraps his jacket around me and presses me close to him.
- If the cameras are gonna blind you just focus on me.
My heart speeds up when they go off. It stopped raining but I can feel the cold air on my bare legs. Finnick’s broad frame is shielding me from most of the lights, his steps are sure and not even once he steps on my toes. He helps me get in the car. I can totally understand the grip he has on people. He gets in on the other side.
- Do you want something to eat or just a drink?
- Some light dinner would be nice. - I still feel dizzy from the alcohol and I know I need to clear my head if we’re supposed to talk. I mean, we’re supposed to talk, right?
Finnick gives some weirdly -sounding name to the driver and the car turns around. I watch him in the car window. He is wearing a two-piece suit tonight. In dark blue. I have his jacket obviously and it feels very nice around my arms. Silk, I think. And a silk crispy white shirt I think too. I want to touch it and check for sure but I keep my hands close to me.
One of the locks of his hair fell on his forehead. There's no way I could describe how he looks in one word alone. I once read an article saying he's like a Sun but I don't like the implication that I could end up being Mercury or Venus if I get too close to him.
He’s typing furiously on his phone. I don’t see who. Is this Johanna? Is she jealous? I think they really may be together.
- Will I also get a phone? - I ask him.
He stops writing and looks up at me surprised. He catches my eyes watching him in the window and I turn around embarrassed. It's even worse when I look at him now. His eyes have the colour of the summer forest at the golden hour. His skin radiates the warmth of that sun too.
- You don’t have one?
- I don’t even have a bag. - I answer. - Or pockets in my dress, I don’t understand why. I don’t know where I am staying. Do you think you could contact my escort for me?
- No one told you? - he asks me, staring all the time at my face. His expression is carefully guarded and I cannot read anything on his face.
- No one told me about what?
- That you are living with me.
----
Finnick is in his sheepdog mode again. The one, where he has to catch the lost animal before it accidentally rolls down the hill to its death. He is in front of the car door before I even get my first foot out, his hand steadying me and his arm around my body guiding me to the restaurant and then inside. His eyes are on me all the time, the dark green following my every move when I sit down, when I open the menu, when I write my order down.
I cannot blame him. It was me who almost opened the car door after all when we were speeding through the city because I wanted to get out.
I try my best to collect myself and I look around the restaurant. First is the ceiling, covered with fresh flowers hanging upside down. The only ones I know are peonies, dahlias and hydrangeas. All of them bloom around city hall back home. They are mostly pink, red and white here, I think. It’s hard to tell in this light. Ivy wraps itself around walls and pillars. I look behind me and some of its vines are hanging in the windows. There are also forget-me-nots growing where a window sill is supposed to be. When I inspect them closer I can see they are, surprisingly, pink and violet. We have only blue back home.
Home, how I long for it now. The city I saw only three times in my life feels even more foreign now and the emptiness I have inside me threatens to swallow me whole. I realize I am hunching my shoulders and clutching at a lapel of Finnick’s suit jacket that’s still around my shoulders. I straighten up and put my hands in my lap. I look at the people to my right and left, making sure not to stop my eyes at the man sitting in front of me.
There are only tables for two people everywhere but I see some same sex couples. It’s very frowned upon at 10. I am not sure if other Districts allow those kinds of relationships. I know people were sentenced to lynching in 13 for that. I learned about it at the secret school my dad enrolled me in when I was a teenager.
The thoughts of my home taste bitter when I look at the splendour and resources wasted here.
I think tables like the one we’re sitting at are kind of special for the people here. We’re sitting far away from the entrance but even from here I can see colorful people at the door pointing at the same tables as ours and starting arguments with the staff. I sit in some sort of huge armchair that seems to come straight out of the wall under the window while the ones on Finnick’s side are club chairs I think. There’s a television program that focuses on home furnishing. I always found them irritating. It’s one of Capitol’s ways of letting us know about the things we will never be able to afford.
I watch the couples sitting around us. Many of them are bored or fighting which takes me by surprise. I thought people here could choose their partners, why bother being with someone you don’t like? Then I remind myself what Finnick and I must look like to other people. I’ve been avoiding his eyes for the past few minutes while he - well, I don’t know what he has been doing. I take a look at him and he is watching me over a glass of wine with a curious look on his face. Where did he get wine anyway?
- You want some? - he must have noticed what I was looking at.
- I think we both can agree it’s not the best idea when it comes to me.
I put my right forearm on the table, hand up trying to copy the couple three tables to my left. They look like they are in love and I think this is the way we should carry around each other if we want to sell the whole thing. Finnick puts his left hand over mine and presses two of his fingers over my pulse point.
-Yeah, - he says like he’s trying very hard not to laugh. - I kinda got the vibe even before you pulled the handle, honey.
The pet names have to stop. I am going to melt and be a wet stain on the floor if they won’t.
- Sorry, - I say, ashamed. - I just really don’t know anything and ummm…. - my words fail me. - I don’t know you? And I just…
Finnick looks like he’s angry for a moment. I cannot help but blame myself for it. He must hate that he is forced to spend my time with me while I act like a damsel that needs saving all the time.
- No harm will come to you from my hand. - Finnick says. There’s something dark in his look still but he moves his hand from my pulse and starts playing with my fingers instead.
- So you like pockets? - he asks casually and the atmosphere becomes much lighter.
- I adore them. I mean dresses with pockets. - I correct and laugh. - And pigs. And I like to think that Antonia’s hair looks like a long-haired sheep that ran to the stage when my name got pulled out.
Our dinner arrives and the waiter talks about the courses we will eat. All of them are District-12 inspired but the plates are very small. I doubt it’s because the restaurant wanted to show the hardship people there have to face. I just ordered dumplings with goat meat but the table is covered with dishes that I guess are all for Finnick but he surprises me by putting some things on my plate all the time. I let him talk about his life here. He spends every two weeks in the Capitol and comes back to his District for two weeks.
I wonder if I will be able to travel there with him. I need to find a way to make sure Plutarch sends me there too, I’ve never seen the sea. I’m sure he’s going to agree if I play my part well enough. If not then I can say I have to double-check there to make sure we can trust Finnick.
- A penny for your thoughts? - Finnick says when he notices me smiling at the mental image of myself asking Plutarch if he can stop his serious shenanigans because I really want to see the sea.
- This whole experience is much nicer than Haymitch warned me. - I decide to tell him instead.
- You should be really careful about what he tells you. - Finnick says and slides almost the whole plate with katniss towards me. - He’s a very intelligent person but the alcohol has a strong grip on him and he loses himself more often than he would like to admit.
We finish our food and the empty plates are taken away. I watch as the couple I copied earlier stands up to leave. I try to remember their movements.
- Seeing something or someone you like? - Finnick asks and there’s this playful tone in his voice that I’ve heard so many times on the tv when he was about to make everyone swoon. - because I’m sure I can do better than whoever you believe you want now, sweetheart.
.I know my eyes turn big and round but the kind of face I’ve made at Finnick sends him laughing so loudly that some of the people start looking much more openly at us.
- Sorry, - he says, sounding anything but. - It’s just that your face is terribly expressive.
The waiter sets some kind of fancy drink in front of me in a high glass shaped like a flower with four petals. The liquid is dark violet and it’s covered with a white foam and some pink hydrangea flowers. I bring it slowly to my lips so as not to spill it. It tastes divine, not too sweet and has nothing bitter in it. I moan when it slides down my throat.
- There’s alcohol here. - I tell Finnick when I set it down. I almost drank the whole thing at once before I realized.
- I thought it couldn’t be that bad to let you have something small.
He has this amused look on his face. Like he is ready to pounce on me and drag me back if I stray too far away.
The waiter comes with some kind of a delicacy he puts in the middle on the table and puts two forks down. It’s round and dark blue with some sort of white cream inside. It’s sprinkled with something gold and shiny but bigger than glitter. A tiny crown sits on top of it.
- It’s our special dessert reserved only for our truly extraordinary guests. Inspired by the first couple to ever win Hunger Games. Blueberry macaroon with goat milk cream filling that represents an image of true love in unprecedented and hardest times.
I push my fork into it hoping it will shut him up. It’s extremely sweet, while the games tasted like pain and blood even to me. Broken friendships and nightmares. Vomit and urine and shit on the bed after. Hands I never wanted on my body touching me when I could not fight. People mocking me that at least thanks to Games I lost those kilos that were too heavy on me.
Finnick taps my ankle with his shoe when the waiter asks me what I think about it. He sends me a look over another glass of wine. I think it’s a warning to be nice.
- I think it mixes too much with the drink I just had but I like how light it is. It fits well with everything we ate. However, - I put the last pieces with the crown carefully on the fork and bring them towards Finnick. - I believe a true connoisseur should be the final judge.
Silence falls around us, I can see people sitting at the table behind Finnick actually put their forks down to watch what’s happening at our table. As for the man himself, he takes my shaky palm in his steady one and slowly wraps his mouth around the fork in my hand. I can hear people inhale when he moans.
-Delicious, - he says. - tastes almost as good as my beloved.
The waiter is blushing as I must be for sure. Finnick stands up and suddenly we’re leaving. His arm is around me again and only now do I notice how respectful he has been acting the whole night. His hand never wanders too low, he stopped touching my stomach, monitored my alcohol intake and had my hands in his in the car when I was terrified. He leads me around the room making sure I don’t trip accidentally on any steps.
He does not bring up the fact I almost gave up on the whole act in the cinema. After the first wave of panic left me I realized he may have things at stake that do not allow him to walk away as easily.
I want to thank him somehow and play my part better now. I hope to mimic the couple I saw earlier and when we step outside and the first flash goes off I hope my finger around one of his belt loops to slow him a little. He turns around with one of his eyebrows raised and I kiss him quickly in the space under his chin and close to his ear. Someone shouts and Finnick kisses the corner of my mouth.
- Yeah, no more alcohol for you. - he says laughing and leads me to the car.
Jasmine, I realize, is definitely a fragrance for gods.
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#finnick odair fanfic#finnick odair#live laugh love finnick odair#hunger games fic#hunger games fanfiction
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Thoughts thought thoughts in the Actor AU! Former theatre kid here btw-
For Jimmy’s habit of losing the Codfather head, it’s also a game of who can find the Codfather head and who can find it in the most ridiculous place. Jimmy doesn’t know how the head ended up in the refrigerator, he doesn’t remember putting it there! No, Jimmy did not intentionally leave it in the green room with one of Scott’s capes/cloaks on a clothing stand that made it look like a person! Why… why would Jimmy know why he put it in the drawer in the makeup department when he doesn’t even ever really need to go in the makeup department? He genuinely doesn’t know how it ends up in these weird places.
Also, are Scott and Xornoth actual twins in the AU? Such a coinky dink.
And even though Scott forgets he has antlers sometimes, there’s also the opposite. Where he forgets that he doesn’t have antlers and he’s maneuvering and ducking like he does, but it just makes him look weird lol. It’s very much uncommon, but it is very entertaining everything you see it
Scott and Jimmy occasionally “combining” their head props, the Codfather head wearing Antlers. It’s cute but also silly
I wonder just how many times they try and be each others’ character in their free time. Just. Really over dramatic/cheesy line delivery or one person reinactment of a certain scene.
What’s everyone’s experience in acting? Be it on stage of for shows/movies/whatever else? I know you’ve elaborated on some, but what on others?
Also, hi! Im back again! My attention is fleeting at times oof
- Starlight Anon
I love all of these so much oh my god.
The current holder of the title for finding the codfather head in the weirdest place is Fwhip, who found it in the rafters of the building??? No one is... entirely sure how it got up there. Explanations range from a member of the crew taking it up with them when repairing something and forgetting to bring it back down to ghosts. Everyone seems to agree that ghosts is more likely.
Yes they are lol.
Yeah. Especially towards the end of filming, he starts to get really paranoid about his antlers, to the point where he can be completely out of costume and just duck super low out of habit.
That's so cute oh my goodness <3 they absolutely do that I'm declaring it canon.
Scott and Joey are the ones doing impressions of the others the most. They like to amp up the drama to an unreasonable amount.
Pretty much everyone has done at least a couple plays and/or movies before this, so they have a good amount of experience. The only one who doesn't is Shelby. This is her first time actually auditioning for a professional production, having just graduated from art school. She's very nervous about it at first, especially since a good amount of the cast is at least semi-famous (or just really well loved in certain niche circles)
She and Scott went to high school together (I know I said she and him have done stuff together before but I'm kind of changing things around a little bit)
Welcome back <3 Glad to have you here
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Sometimes I wonder if I “run cold.” In relation to body temperature, I don’t often feel warm. I naturally have a lower body temperature than humans, but I don’t mean I necessarily feel the opposite of cold. If I am a naturally cold blooded creature, then everything around me should be blazing hot. Though I wear long sleeves, coats, hoodies and robes. I feel as though I need to be warmed most of the time. In the summer, I wear scarves and it’s controversial amongst mortal friends. My whole body is covered most of the time. I crave a warmth from Daniel I can no longer find, but still pretend is there.
Once in a while I heat my body up in the shower, raising the water to temperatures that other of the Kindred find worrisome. And when I step out of the shower, my entire body tingles as the temperature of it rapidly decreases to it’s normal preternatural state. I wonder if this is what the mortal body feels like as it dies. It makes me wonder if my body could even be considered real at this point. Just like time, what is a body if I am no longer a part of it?
That reminds me that there are these ancient batteries that were found. These clay pots that ran an electric current somehow. Historians think that ancient humans would press their hands to them, and they interpreted the electric shock as proof of God.
Jesse told me that.
I haven’t written much, partially because I forgot about this website for a while. But also I was on another reading kick, inspired by a friend of mine. She is also my mortal age. Someone was also selfish with her body. And she is a friend that reminds me that it’s easier to be curious than destructive. We browsed the Barnes and Noble store for hours one night and I bought a book called “Tender is the Flesh.” It was very fun.
When you’re brought to The Blood at an age on the line of child and adult, the natural process is severed and you’re stuck forever as a ghost who misinterprets everything, because no level of adult wisdom or understanding was ever captured. “I don’t get things.” Benji often tells me. Sometimes I see myself so much in Benji. Everything about us is so similar. He knows about these demons I harbor. We often compare the cult to his foster homes. He wants desperately to go to Palestine. I want to take him so badly, as Marius took me to my homeland. A closed circle. And Benji is weeping to be with his people. He doesn’t remember them, as I had not remembered; taken and brought to a foreign place, not knowing the language, not knowing if he were commodified… only remembering the feeling in his body.
I’m sorry Benji, I shouldn’t tell these people so much about your suffering.
Some other experiences from this week:
A human girl in the bodega called me “King.” I laughed out loud. I’ve been called a prince many, many times, but never a king.
Daniel is increasingly going out completely alone, even to feed. Without me. I feel the skeletal grip of death around my heart again but I refuse to believe it’s an attempt to leave me.
An acquaintance told me I speak like I’m writing a screen play. I told him I’m not very good at speaking. He said, no no, you just have a large vocabulary and you want to use every single word…
…making friends with all sorts of different Kindred across New York City has been surreal. Probably the first time since my theatre and meeting Louis have I extended far beyond my current coven.
#im high and sad and needed to write#kind of a ramble#the vampire armand#the vampire chronicles#tvc#interview with the vampire#iwtv#queen of the damned#journal entry#Daniel molloy#devils minion#benji mahmoud#Anne rice#vcrp
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POV and Tense in Your Writing
Hello hello HELLO tumblr, I am once again posting writing advice after like 2 solid months of not doing that!
Today's topic is, obviously, POV and Tense in your writing. Specifically, I want to talk a bit about what expectations, feel, & narrative distance certain choices with your POV & tense can create.
First:
An obligatory reminder that the only set rule to writing is "break the rules that don't work for you" and that anything can work if you're determined enough to pull it off. This post is just me talking about what is usually signaled by which POVs and tenses. Additionally, I will not be talking much about second person or future tense, as those are both uncommon in published novels and I have very little experience reading & writing them. Now, on we go. (This post got long, so I put it under a keep reading.)
What is POV?
"POV", or "point of view", is used to describe who the story is being told through and how. You must have at least 1 POV character, or there's no story, and you can go all the way up to omniscient POV. Unless they're omniscient, POVs usually switch instead of happening at the same time. POV can be told in the following ways:
First Person stories are told directly by the character who's eyes you're seeing it through--they will use I, Me, We, My, Myself, etc. ("I go to the movie theatre and I eat popcorn.")
Second Person POV is when the author directly addresses the audience--the story is about YOU and will use you, your, and other second-person pronouns. It's not common. ("You go to the movie theatre and you eat popcorn.")
Third Person Limited is when the story is told in from the eyes of the specific POV character/characters (one at a time) and uses he, she, they, and other third-person pronouns. ("They go to the movie theater and eat popcorn. He would prefer a sci-fi next time; he wonders what she thought of it.")
Omniscient POV/Third Person Omniscient is when the narrator has access to the thoughts and feelings of everyone in the story. It is essentially a story told by god; they know all, and you will find yourself in the heads of many characters at once. ("They go to the movie theater and eat popcorn; she thinks the movie is great, but he'd prefer a sci-fi next time.")
Single POV is when there is only 1 POV character; everything else is multi-POV (or omniscient, but that's technically multi-POV as well).
What is Tense?
Tense is used to express time reference, i.e. whether the story happened before, after, or during its being told.
Past tense is used to tell stories that have already happened. ("I went to the movie theater and ate popcorn.")
Present tense is used to tell stories that are happening as they're being told. ("I go to the movie theater and eat popcorn.")
future tense is used to tell stories that happen after they are told. ("I will go to the movie theater and I will eat popcorn.")
literary past tense is used to tell stories in past tense, but with the feeling that they're happening now. This one is trickier to explain, but basically, past tense can & will reference the present and acknowledge that it is telling a story that has already happened; literary past will act like it is a present tense story, but use past tense words. (Many people who say they're writing in past tense are specifically writing in literary past tense.) Percy Jackson is in past tense; Six of Crows is in literary past tense.
What Effect Do POV and Tense Have On The Story?
Different POVs & tenses have different strengths and weaknesses. Whatever POV/tense you choose should be one that you think will best fit the story; your YA book does not have to be in 1st person single POV present tense just because that's common in YA, I promise. There are more logical choices. (Though again, skilled writers can make anything work.)
Present tense, single-POV, and first person tend to do very well in stories that need to feel immediate, close in narrative distance, emotional, and/or high stakes. Present tense, by virtue of presenting itself as if it's happening right now, can feel very easily like the character's future is uncertain and no one knows what's next, even though the story is already cemented in what will happen. Single-POV makes it easier to have a close narrative distance, and therefore be more emotional (and high stakes); this is because you can focus entirely on one character, and you don't have to worry about the weird feeling of ripping the reader from one distinct mind and into another. First person also has a closer narrative distance (there's NONE, they are telling the story) and therefore is easier to make feel emotional.
Thrillers, romances, contemporaries, and dystopians are often (though not always) told using one of these 3 forms of POV or tense, as those are genres that highly benefit from little narrative distance and from a feeling of immediacy or uncertainty. (The Hunger Games [dystopian] and Can't Take That Away [contemporary] are told in 1st person, present, single-pov; Karen McManus' thriller/mystery books are often in 1st and present.)
Past tense, literary past, multi-POV, omniscient, and third person limited do very well for stories that need to be on a grander scale or that require a more fairytale-esque feeling to them. Past tense, as it presents itself as having already happened, is good for stories where you want to truly remember that someone is TELLING this and it's a STORY. Literary past has that story-like or less immediate feel of past, without pulling the reader directly out of their immersion, and tends to be a happy medium between past & present. Multi-POV stories let you get more done and see more things, as well as sort of naturally having a bit more narrative distance because you're not constantly in 1 head, really close. Omniscient is how many folktales/fairytales are told and therefore has that feeling; it also has all the benefits of multi-POV. Third person limited is more removed/distant than first person is, and pairs well with multiple POVs. It again allows you to feel more storylike, less immediate, or have a grander-scale story.
These 5 forms of POV and tense are often used in SFF, historical fiction, and literary fiction, as those are genres that benefit from larger scale, more people telling the story, or a bit more distance. (The Six of Crows duology and Darker Shade of Magic trilogy [fantasy] are in literary past, 3rd, and multi-pov.)
It is important to note that you can of course write a heart-wrenching & emotional or immediate and high-stakes story with things that are not present/single-pov/first person, and you can write a grand, epic or fairytale-like story with things that are not past/multi-pov/3rd person--this is entirely about what the tenses & POVs tend to naturally lend themselves to. You can and should play around with them as you see fit. All of this is, you know... learn the rules before you break them.
I hope this was helpful for someone! :D
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So I HAVE REALIZED that all y'all English speakers do not realize what mastery the Polish version of Zero to Hero from Disney's hit movie Hercules (1997) is and that is simply unacceptable
But do not worry as I, in a fit of sleeplessness, decided to deliver you from this misery
First of all a link to the song with the lyrics in the descryption
And now onto my incoherent swooning over Polish language
Okay so first of all they managed to keep the visual pun of “Herc was on a roll” by using “mówię wszem, wkoło to co wiem” (I tell to all, around what I know) with “wkoło” literally using the word circle and just y’know, fits
“Spoza kulis” – “from behind the stage” they refer to the theatre and you know, it’s Ancient Greece
“A dziś contra plures wyrusza w bój” WE START THE GOOD STUFF. Literally they sing “and today he goes fight contra plures” which is an obvious and delightful reference to the Latin quote “Non Hercules contra plures”
And here maybe I’m reaching bUT- They sing “nie jest mu obcy żaden znój” (“he’s not a stranger to any toil”) and the word “znój” here is the key, because it can be used as synonym to “work” so twelve works of Hercules mayhaps???
They mention Croesus! They sing that Herc could rival him in terms of riches
(Also they call Herc “this god of heroes” using the word “heros” that usually is used to mean specifically “Greek half-god hero”, so like “god of half-gods” lol)
“Taki chłop ze stali stale trafia sto na sto” THIS DEAR SIR IS MASTERY OF WORD
AND I really think that we need to all show respect to the translator for translating the lines “And this perfect package packed a pair of pretty pecs” and keeping the alliteration. Sure, he changed the sound from “p” to “b” but those are literally almost the same sound in the scientific sense, just one is voiced and the other is voiceless, so I don’t want to hear any critique is that clear 🔪 Also “bóg bohater biegły w bojach bogom prawie brat” sounds extremely cool (god hero experiences in battles almost a brother to the gods)
“Widział kto mężniejszego męża?” again, fantastic wordplay, the closest example in English I can think of is “manly man” only if “manly” meant “brave” or “daring”
Appreciation for the line “not a douche who’d slice bread with an axe” <3
“Mięśnie ma herkuliste” he sure has very herculesous those muscles
“Mister of beauty” you know, like the peagents
“Strong like a Pillar of Hercules” more references!
“The dice long time ago iacta est” obvious reference to “alea iacta est”, of course
“Who doesn’t dieeeeeeeeee… is alive!” I couldn’t sum it up better myself
Thank for reading I love this song goodnight
#my post#blue's bafflegabs#language#Polish#translation analysis#translations#hercules#zero to hero#songs#disney#one day ill make a more coherent analysis#and comparision with the original#but first i suppose id need to understand everything in the original which i do not#stars how i love this song#its just so genius#and they packed two actual latin phrases in there!#and three other references#or maybe even four depends if the znoje = prace connection was intentional#i love it#edit: okayyeah i need to tag it as#babbling blue#cause what am i even saying
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Okay, Scream 5 thoughts!
Honestly I think this is my second favourite of the Scream films so far (favourite being the first one, least favourite being number 3), and I haven’t really been able to pinpoint why, other than I love Tara and Sam, and the links back to all the og characters were so fun! Also a big fan of the survivor trio getting to be a little bit more like mentors than usual!
Made notes again so I’ll pop them below the read more again!
Hoping to see Scream 6 when it’s out in cinema sooooon and complete the watching experience, but until then I’ll be rewatching S1 and S2 of the Scream series, and watching S3 for the first time bc I didn’t realise it existed!
@trashcanalienist
- Ooh Jenna Ortega
- Okay she’s called Tara but who’s her mum? Is she relevant?
- Ah, this guy.
- Stab trivia - I am so good at this game
- Hey why the fuck would she try and go outside instead of calling the police
- I’m very impressed with the home security system in here - oh shit it has definitely been hacked never mind
- Oh that leg snap was NOT nice
- Okay quick swap to whoever Sam is
- Who’s Wes, who’s Sam, what happened with her and Tara
- Oh the boyfriend is coming with? He’s definitely gonna die Or be involved somehow
- Oh this is giving Scream 1 gang vibes
- DEPUTY POLICE LADY HAS A SON
- Okay but what if it’s not actually Tara texting you
- Why is pink hair not going with? Cheating on jock boy with Vince?
- This banter in the car with Sam and boyfriend is cute
- Vince having a knife is bad bad vibes
- Trying to figure out why I’m into Vince and it turns out it’s because he’s the Emo guy from Jennifer’s Body
- Oh Vince is definitely about to die
- Bye Vince
- What the fuck is this Billy Loomis hallucination and why is is so uncanny valley
- Guessing the family secret is Sam being Billy’s illegitimate child or something but we’ll see
- Hey is Judy the sheriff now
- Where are Gale and Dewey
- And Sid for that matter
- Ooh do we get a sibling heart to heart about the family secret now
- Hey I was right!
- Tara has a right to be upset about this but Sam needs to tell her about the hallucinations etc too I think and Tara should not have kicked her out like that that’s for sure
- Why are the boyfriends always CREEPY
- How dare he listen in like that, what the Fuck
- Richie is definitely gonna die or be evil
- DEWEY! Where is Gale?
- Oh she’s on tv
- Hey I’m adopting Sam rn, she’s mine and I love her
- HORROR MOVIE RULES TIME
- Yes Dewey questioning the boyfriend!!!
- I would love Dewey to help but I also don’t want him to get hurt again bc idc how much more he can survive ya know
- Holy shit SID WITH A BABY - multiple little girls oh my god
- Oh god Sid, she needs to stay safe and protect her little people
- “I’m Sidney fucking Prescott of course I have a gun” fuck yeah baby
- Oh I’m sad if Sid isn’t gonna be in Woodsborough but I also want her to be so safe pls
- Dewey texting Gale is so utterly ridiculous, I love it
- Randy memorial home theatre and then Martha walks in going “oooooh Suspects!”
- Okay Vince was connected!
- “Of course you did, you have terrible taste” excellent work
- I do not like cgi/uncanny valley Billy loomis one bit
- Yes Judy going straight to grab a knife! Sensible!
- That is TOO MANY windows in Wes’s bathroom wtf
- Also either him or his mum is in danger and I don’t know which
- Oh no, Judy
- Oh NO Wes
- Oh she is SPEEDING
- Fuckkkkkk goodbye Judy
- These weird/false suspense things with every cupboard door Wes is opening is absolutely sensational
- That was a very good jump scare even though I knew it was coming
- Who’s Wes’s dad??? Is that relevant?? Worried it might be
- Oh my god, powersuit. It’s GALE WEATHERS
- Poor Tara
- Oh my god okay Richie is almost certainly the other killer
- First jumpscare I actually screamed at! Dewey cannot die, it’s not allowed
- Okay excellent
- Oh nooooo Dewey don’t go back on your own wtf are you doing!!!!
- No no no no no no no no no fuck
- No Dewey
- I’m actually gonna cry
- Gale 😭😭😭
- Well that’s the first time I’ve sobbed at a Scream film that’s for sure
- No bc Sids gonna come back now - and there she is right on cue
- Where the fuck is Sam and Tara’s mother? Like why the hell isn’t she back yet??
- Amber going the basement is a BAD idea
- Also why are these kids always throwing fucking parties when there’s a murder spree
- The girls having a chat about how either of them could be the killer is bizarre
- Oh nooo jock twin is definitely about to get murdered
- Yes jock boy kick some ass!!!!
- Now why would you go further away from the party rn
- This kid is so dead
- Richie’s been left alone ish and I don’t trust any of the three girls in this group
- Oh no liv and Mindy are gonna fight
- Mindy should definitely be more worried about her brother
- Oh fuck they’re in the MACHER HOUSE???
- Oh goodbye Mindy
- Everyone accusing Liv is insane
- AMBER I KNEW WE COULDNT TRUST YOU
- Richie and Amber is my current prediction bc I don’t think they’d do victim/relative is the killer twice in a row but I could be wrong
- No, Gale!!!
- I hate Amber
- House of nightmares, meet Sidney Prescott, again
- So glad Sam actually has a weapon
- That phone call with Sidney was top tier
- “Holy shit it’s ghost face” - excellent work Richie
- Was not expecting Sid and ghostface to both go over the railing
- I FUCKING KNEW IT WAS RICHIE
- I do not like Richie
- Oh my god if Tara’s the one calling then I’m so impressed
- Yes Tara hit her to death with your crutch
- Obsessed with this Gale/Sid teamwork
- I do not want Gale to die
- Shit that must be a LOT of hairspray on that woman for her to go up in flames that way
- Sam is so badass I love her
- Cannot wait for Richie to die
- Yes Billy hallucinations, go on
- YES SAM
- Surely he wouldn’t still be alive after that many stab wounds
- Although I like that he was purely for the “What about my ending?” “Here it comes” exchange
- Now where is Tara
- Fuck yes baby
- These sisters are my kids now, I love them so much
- YES THE TWINS ARE OKAY
- Honestly these kids have been attacked so many times and STILL their mother isn’t here?? Ridiculous
- “You were right about not running” “I’m sorry about that” 😭
- Gales gonna write about Dewey and I am going to sob forever
- Now everybody thank the Billy hallucination for saving their lives tysm
#spellshorrorhistory#scream#scream 5#Billy loomis#the screams#horror#slasher#ghostface#live-blogging#ish
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This was a small piece from my I am not okay with this, Stanley barber x reader fanfic on Wattpad.
Read more:
I smiled, it was like I was finally going to have a normal high school experience.
Syd grabbed a drink from some girls hand as we walked, chugged it down in one gulp and threw the cup behind us. We all laughed, enjoying the moment.
Very soon we were all on the dance floor, dancing really badly and just having a great time.
"Do you guys want some punch?" Dina asked after a while. "Sure." Syd and I answered.
I glanced across the gym and saw Stan awkwardly asking Mercedes to dance, she walked away....my heart broke, for Stan and the sight of him with someone else and then treating him like that.
Stan put on his sunglasses and sat down on the bleachers.
“I’ll be right back.” I almost whispered.
I walked over.
Stan took off his sunglasses again and stared at his feet. I sat next to him, I took a deep breath when he didn't even look at me.
"Best theater in town huh?" I asked looking at everyone dancing.
"I'm pretty sure you specifically said you weren't coming to this." Stan stated, still looking down.
"I wasn't." I stated.
"Well, aren't you worried about being followed?" He asked, I could tell he was annoyed.
"No one's following me Stan, it was...all In my head....I should've told you I was coming." I sighed.
"N/n I know we're not a thing, or together anymore, in fact I don't know if we ever were...and that's and that's cool I, I mean you gotta know I...I really like you." Stan rambled.
I smiled slightly to myself.
"We were definitely together.....and I really, really like you too Stan." I smiled, finally looking him in the eye. I saw Stan try hide a smile.
"So who are you here with anyway?" Stan asked.
"Well I came with Syd and Dina but I'm here alone." I stated.
"Does Dina know about you?" Stan asked.
"Know what?"
"Well..that you're a superhero" Stan stated.
I smiled.
"Other than Syd who is also a 'superhero' you’re the only one."
Stan's face lit up and he chuckled. "Cool."
"Also I'm really not a super-"
"Just-just give me this one thing...please. " Stan laughed.
I smiled widely and genuinely for the first time in what felt like forever, i missed him.
"I'll give you two things...." I smiled.
"What?" Stan asked as I placed my lips on his and they moved perfectly with each other, butterflies flew all over my body, I pulled away with a huge smile.
“Y-You need a date?” Stan stuttered.
I chuckled. “What about Mercedes?”
“I think she belongs to the theatre now.” Stan nodded towards the dance floor where she had already found a new date.
He grabbed my hand and We walked through the crowd to Syd and Dina at the punch table.
"Stan!" Dina smiled.
"Dina, you look um...you like like a Christmas tree." Stan complimented.
"Thanks dude." Dina stated.
We saw Whitaker staring at us.
"Oh god Whitakers still watching us." Stan added.
"It's probably the most exciting that's ever happened in his entire life." Syd smiled.
"Mm, I don't know guys..I mean we're wanted criminals. Why are we out here in the open? Exposed. First rule of the heist is split the loot and split the fuck up right?" Stan exclaimed.
"What loot?all we did was disrespect this fine institution." I joked.
"And disrespect ourselves." Syd waved her finger.
We all laughed.
Stan started to complain about the music and dragged me with him to go ask the DJ to change the song.
"Hey dude can I change the song?" Stan asked.
"Never." The DJ stated.
I zoned out for a second, smiling at Syd.
"What do you mean you've never heard of bloodwitch!?" Stan asked.
I sighed when I saw Dina and syd go dance, I grabbed Stan's hand and dragged him to the dance floor.
"So Dina's a Christmas tree?" I chuckled as he put his hands on my hips and I put mine around his neck.
"Yeah." Stan smiled.
"And what am I?" I asked gesturing at my outfit.
"Beautiful." Stan smiled.
I blushed harder than ever and looked down at the floor before Stan lifted my chin and kissed me passionately.
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the moment i saw you said you liked talking about theatre my first thought was "ask dino to talk about theatre" so
talk about it!!! i wanna hear <3 i know basically nothing but pls. talk about something you love!!!!
hmnjdhjdhd WAAA youre so sweet
okay OKAY so i was in 4 musicals (+1 in middle school but that one barely counts.. i miss it tho) and they were All so fucking cool ! i really wanted to be an actor for like 4 years that was my passion for awhiiile
i got to be in ensemble for newsies and oh my GOD newsies is like the best musical ever i adore it. broadway musical i could watch over and over and over the music gets stuck in my head easily AND OKAY SO. my gender was rlly difficult for me freshman year, but being able to dress up as a boy for that show felt really validating. and just the way the script Is... accidental gender affirmation everytime us as a group got refered to as boys despite the all gender cast. this was also during my "i wear flannels for gender euphoria" moment of my life so my newsies outfit was just...clothes i already wore plus a vest and hat HDKDGDKD
then we did into the woods and.... my god. okay so i dont think i ever got all the lyrics right for the amount of songs with the same melody but Different words... but thats okay. i got to play one of cinderella's stepsisters THE FUCKING DRESS FOR THAT SHOW WAS SO PRETTY only time ive gotten to wear a real princess dress <33 HORRIBLE TO DANCE IN THOUGH. i almost tripped and fell every show (which wouldve been funny i was evil sooo i mean. i shouldve)
then. then we did les miserables and . that musical is hell to work on it's a fucking opera and it's So emotionally taxing but SO good. like i had the time of my life but i barely slept. best show ever best show ever. i played gavroche (an 8 year old boy who just lives on his own.... and joins the revolution) and i successfully made people cry! i really really hope my mom can find the camcorder her bf used to record the whole show because.. i think i'd cry if i got to watch it as audience. the music is terrifying to learn i sung in soprano (for reference on how difficult it is, check the song one day more. the chorus sections are insane)
i also tripped in the audience during a full solo and my ONLY concern at the time was "please let my mic not be broken Please let my mic not be broken." i cried backstage for like 5 minutes after bc of the adrenaline. THEN I HAD TO GO ONSTAGE AGAIN ALONE so i couldnt cry long GDKSHDJ
les mis is like my best life experience that show means everything to me i miss it so much..it went by too fast
the last show i was in was called urinetown (sounds weird but it's a satirical comedy about how capitalism will kill off all of humanity it's fun) and the dancing for it was the most difficult thing ive ever had to learn!
the music is also like. Yikes i was struggling probably just as much as les mis because i switched to alto (i attempted soprano for it but it Hurt me. so i switched. and harmonies are a pain but i got em eventually) i had more lines in this show than les mis but i didnt really care much for my character?? it was similar to newsies except i had some one off lines because comedies with a group of characters are like that. gfjdhdj THE DANCING. we had 2 choreographers helping us, and i hated it so much <3 i hate learning choreo in dimly lit rooms because i Cant see anything. i needed to take videos and learn on my own and had like 1 friend who could kinda help but it was still like aushajha Why
WE DIDNT GET TO PERFORM THAT SHOW. our opening night was march 13th 2020 so . we just had to fucking mourn everything. but i mean the experience was still great and theatre was my escape. idk what i would've done without it, the theatre kept me focused on things i enjoyed and meant i wasnt just wallowing
tysm for asking i love theatre and musicals and i think everyone should watch newsies
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Hi friends,
I've come back to write this, for closure.
My life lost all its meaning a while ago. I kept grasping for straws, doing anything to feel like I have a purpose. Nothing worked. I used Tumblr as a coping mechanism for the trauma I went through time and time again. I've hurt so many people here. I dealt with horrifying things in my own head, and I went completely numb over the last few months. Without Tumblr, I was without an outlet. I grew distant from everyone I knew, I lost almost all of my friends. I fell out of love with my passions. After I lost my job, which was my whole life, I just about gave up on everything. I was prepared to finish my semester and then drop out.
But I made a really big, and difficult decision while I was still at that job. If I hadn't made that decision to go before I lost that job, I don't know where I would be today... - I was going to join my college minister, one of my last friends in the world, and go to Chapter (Bible) Camp. I stepped out of my comfort zone all for a week away from life, and I was petrified.
While I cannot give much of a testimony today, I can proudly say that I discovered myself for the very first time. I believe wholeheartedly that God brought everyone he needed to bring to camp for me to meet. Over the course of seven days, my life completely changed. I completely changed. If didn't know better, I'd say I was baptised by that experience.
I fell back in love with my passion for literature. Reading the first half of Mark was the most important literary analysis I've ever done to this day. I was able to look at the Bible with my very own eyes for the first time in my life.
Talking about Jesus' gift to humanity made me realize that, whether or not he is the Messiah, I do not accept him as my savior. And that is okay. I cried a lot over this, confided in my minister, told him how angry I was at this potential Almighty God for letting all these things happen to me. And he assured me that it's okay to feel anything and everything that I feel. Long discussions with him, long reflection times, tests of God's will, and everything else I experienced that week brought me peace I've been longing for all this time. It solidified my own faith. My faith in Mother Nature, my faith in people like you and me. God might exist, and He might not, and that it is fine either way. I don't have to go to Heaven if I don't want to. I want to give my body back to my Mother who was so gracious to gift it to me, and I want to go back in the ground when I've, as Hamlet so grimly put it, shuffled off this mortal coil.
I'm so beyond grateful I got to experience Christian worship with my new best friends who have been sent from all over the world by God to meet me. I went from having a panic attack on day one because of my religious trauma, to encouraging worship songs in the hot tub on day five and six. I got to embrace Nigerian culture, and my own very blissfully diverse culture. I went from sitting out of prayer at our study sessions and meals, to praying with the girls in my dorm room before going to sleep.
I can proudly say that I will now be finishing my Associate's degree in English, and then deciding from there if I want to pursue Film & Theatre and work my way into Hollywood/New York City, or further my English/Writing studies, or both! I've learned, almost most importantly, that I cannot rush my destiny. I will get to the West Coast when my time comes. In fact, I'm organizing a month-long vacation in Arizona, and a week in London, both in 2023! But I cannot rush into my future. When my time comes to move forward, I will then, and only then, move forward, knowing my Grandmother and Aunt and Mother [Nature] are with me.
That being said - I can also proudly say that I will be working with my minister to form a Christian / Non-Christian alliance at our college, so that Non-Christians like myself (pagans, athiests, muslims, buddhists, etc.) can seek safety and love and support when they need it the most. Non-Christians do not have to be afraid of Christians, and Christians do not have to be afraid of Non-Christians. Christianity itself is so amazingly and beautifully diverse, it would be a grave error for a Christian to shun a Non-Christian, or pressure them to conversion, especially through unusually cruel and manipulative tactics. We, as humans, can all love and help each other. I am going to feed the hungry, sit with the lonely, and guide the lost.
Finally, for the first time ever, I've taken the first real steps on my very long, yet so blessed journey. I've finally pulled out the hippie within me, and she is showing me how to become a better person day-by-day, for she is me. She always has been me.
If you've read this far, thank you so much, my friend.
If this ever reaches the audience of folks that I've hurt, just know that I am so, so sorry for the hurt I've caused. I take full responsibility for my poor, uneducated actions. I understand that nothing can mend the damage I've inflicted. - I am so much wiser, and so much happier now. I feel real, for the first time in my life, I feel like a real person. I'm in touch with my emotions. I'm allowing myself to show vulnerability, because vulnerability isn't such a terrible thing. I allow myself to sit with my depression when it comes to me, and I don't hide from it anymore. Nor do I hide from my anger. I embrace it, and I learn from it, because every emotion is just as important as the last. Every emotion I feel is part of my story. If God is okay with me being angry at Him, then it is okay for me to be angry with anyone or anything. It is not okay, I've learned, to act based off those feelings so ignorantly, so unthoughtfully, so unremorsefully. While I have chosen to turn away Jesus, and not ask for his forgiveness (at this point in life), that doesn't mean I won't ask you for forgiveness. Because what I worship is Human Kind. Humans are born into sin, and they can ask God and Jesus for forgiveness for that at the end of every evening if they so choose, but I say if this is who we are, then I embrace the sin. And in so, I apologize to you, my fellow human beings, and I ask you for forgiveness. Eye for an eye makes the world go blind, and sin for sin creates a living Hell. I have chosen to stop the chain here. And I will continue to ask you, my fellow human beings, for forgiveness each time I commit an act of sin against you.
One love ✌️
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So it wasn't his first show...... Again. You're trying to demonize him frankly by saying he just picks something up and is good. In high school, it is easy for any male to get a role. That's just how it is. He did shows in high school and probably loved it enough to pursue a degree. And you're sure there was male senior who was Black? What was the role? Because again casting in theatre is all about type. And you've been doing theatre for 20 years? Since you were 8? When was the last time you auditioned? Last time you were in a show?
I'm not demonizing him? Once again you are acting like you know someone I WATCHED GROW UP better than me. It's not his fault at all but it's still frustrating that I can do something for years and not be nearly as good as he is first try. Not just theatre. Football too. His first year he was told that he needs to play less good bc the other kids weren't having fun.
And my point is that like. I don't want to doxx him by saying what school he goes to but it was his first choice bc of the theatre program. If there weren't another black man with more experience than him I'd be frankly shocked. Plus he'd absolutely complain to me if he were surrounded by only white guys. I know him. We have "Oh my god fuckin white people." Discussions all the time. Hell iirc hes complained about our hometown being so fuckin white and how he's glad to be somewhere more diverse.
It's been a hot while since I auditioned for anything, last was for a dinner theater the year before I moved bc my old hometown had like. No local theatre. I was in audition groups on fb and everything and it almost never updated with stuff for adults, just kids. And then I moved and covid happened.
Last time I actually had a role was like... 9th grade and it was one of those "everyone gets a role" programs. Other than that I never got anything I auditioned for.
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“Shreyas Talpade’s heart had stopped for about 10 minutes apparently, they revived him and did an angioplasty,” says his friend Bobby Deol
Regrettably, this writer had to convey the worrisome news of actor Shreyas Talpade’s heart attack and angioplasty to his close friend Bobby Deol. Bobby’s first reaction was, “Oh my God!”
“Shreyas Talpade’s heart had stopped for about 10 minutes apparently, they revived him and did an angioplasty,” says his friend Bobby Deol
A few minutes later, he sent a voice note saying, “I just spoke to his wife. She was really upset. His heart had stopped for about ten minutes, apparently. Now they’ve revived him and done an angioplasty. So just pray that he will be fine. Thank you, Subhash, for letting me know.”
Shreyas is one of the most versatile and underrated actors of Hindi and Marathi cinema.
In an earlier interview, Shreyas said to me, “My career has been adventurous. I come from a normal middleclass family with no film connections. I have auditioned to get my best roles. Luckily for me filmmakers like Subhash Ghai, Nagesh Kukunoor and Farah Khan had faith in me.”
He admitted that he should not have done some of the films that he did. “I also admit I didn’t do some things that I should have. I didn’t market myself well. I was averse to social media. But that’s the need of the hour. It took me some time to accept the marketing reality. I won’t make the same mistakes again. Maybe I will make new mistakes. All my mistakes are mine. I am happy with both the rights or wrongs in my life. John Lever says Duniya gol hai, and so is destiny. Hopefully I will have new challenges and new appreciation in future,” he said.
Shreyas loves the opportunities being provided on the digital domain. “OTT is definitely a blessing for an actor like me. For me, it’s is an extension of the experimental theatre I used to do. That experiment is happening manifold on OTT and there is trigger-audience for it. There are so many stories waiting to be told and performed. Now we have the opportunity. I don’t know whether I am underrated. I am just an actor trying to do my best. But I guess the OTT is like an IPL for us actors. We know there is an audience for what we do, no matter how unconventional,” he said.
Here’s wishing Shreyas a swift and complete recovery.
#Bobby Deol#Bollywood#Cardiac Arrest#Health#Heart Attack#Hospital#News#Shreyas Talpade#bollywood hungama#bollywood latest news#bollywood gossip#bollywood news#Bollywood Celebrity Health Updates#Celebrity Health
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The Lost Swan - Chapter 7
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Prologue
/*gasp* Krauser displaying a moment of fear and and loss on the job. Gotta love the angst.
Enjoy reading!/
Mentions of: Panic attacks and talks of torture
The old movie theatre looked like it could fall apart as soon Krauser stepped inside. He doesn’t understand the appeal by the appearance of the boarded windows, the graffiti doors and walls, and the old withered movie posters that have never been taken down. The back entrance was broken in, giving him a clear understanding that people have snuck into this building before and still is. Inside the theatre, it did give him a sense of nostalgia of his own past. It felt like he was walking back into his childhood when his parents brought him to watch his first black and white film the building was playing. When he took his first date back in high school, he thought of Dullahan, wondering if she’ll enjoy watching old films with him in a cinema.
Four days have passed since Dullahan went missing and no one has made any update regarding her. As if she has disappeared from the face of the earth. It’s been six years after Operation Javier. Krauser never thought he would experience that one fear again: loss. His whole team wiped out like the snap of a finger, his arm seriously wounded that forced him into an early retirement from the army. He knew basically everyone from the group and he knew each and everyone of them either have family of their own, a loved one, or have no one. He had no one and he was the only survivor.
When he returned to the safe house with the evidence he could find that fully confirmed Dullahan was taken, he was shaking. Badly. He hasn’t had a panic attack in such a long time since the event and now today, he felt that tight constricting feeling in his chest, sweat dotting his forehead, his arm throbbing, and his breathing hectic.
He couldn’t lose her too. He tried to focus on his breathing as he would have instructed her to do when she experienced her own panic attacks and literal body breakdown from the cause of it. He imagined Dullahan’s soothing voice instead of his own to calm the panic coursing through his body, telling him that he was safe in her arms, how the attack will go away soon, and how much she cares for him. God how much he missed her so badly and how much regret he’ll have if he has to one day discover the news of her death. The mythical Dullahan, his beloved Trish, the future with Natasha, simply gone.
Krauser can’t recall what time he ended up passing out from all the exhaustion, but he does remember crying the whole time in bed, clutching Dullahan’s favourite item in his hands, burying his nose into the fabric to remember her scent and smelling the fear he had dreaded thinking when the time comes.
The sound of a gun clicking in the silent hall caught Krauser’s ears and his knife quickly reached for their throat, the blade kissing the skin with the intention to slit their throat without a second thought. The gun never got a chance to be pointed at his head and he grabbed the weapon out of their hands and tossed it away.
“First lesson: Knives are faster.” He growled, his eyes narrowing at the familiar fiery red pixie haircut. “You’re Nikki?”
Dullahan’s informant rose her hands up by her head, afraid to swallow the lump in her throat. “My name is Nicole Bernhardt, her informant.” Her hazel eyes flickered back and forth on the knife and Krauser. “I know who you are. Major Jack Krauser, United States Army, you also worked for the USSOCOM having led multiple successful operations in your force, callsign ‘Silverdax’, until Operation Javier-” The knife was pressed harder, nicking her skin and drawing a bit of blood.
“You got a lot of nerves looking into my background.” Fury was burning in those blue eyes, itching to end her life in a heartbeat. He doesn’t need her help, he’ll find Dullahan on his own. “How did you know about Operation Javier?”
“Because I hacked into the government’s system on Dullahan’s request.” Fear was in her eyes, pleading with him to spare her life. “I used to work with her back at R.A.S!”
R.A.S.
Research Altercation of Somatology.
He had heard bits of information about the facility that supposedly did human experimentation for military weaponry purposes for how many years and it eventually shut down their operations due to a whistleblower. Dullahan never told him much about the place or the experiments they’ve done other than bits and pieces on what they’ve done to her such as removing her memories when her experimentation was a success.
Krauser pulled his knife away and sheathed it back into the holster. “I remember you…I saw you back at the bar a few months ago and clearly it was you I grabbed a month ago when I saw you at the cafe with her.”
“Yeah sorry for breaking your nose but I can’t let you mess up Dull’s plan.”
“You better tell me what you were talking about at the chatboard and what Dullahan was hiding from me.” Krauser practically growled his words at her. “Who is this Rat?”
“Do you have anything you found at her last known spot first? Anything?”
“Quite enough.” He pulled out what looked to be Dullahan’s signature blue uniform jacket torn up and covered in dried blood, part of her duel wielding weapon, the axe side, and her gun. He had been clutching her jacket when he was crying the whole night and he never let it go the whole time, fearing it would turn into ashes in his sleep. Nikki’s eyes widened from the state of the jacket, she practically went to snatch it but Krauser pulled it back from her grasp. “Don’t you fucking touch it. This is precious to her.”
“I know that because I’m the one who made it for her!” Nikki snatched the jacket from him and inspected the damages. “She designed the uniform when she got promoted to the high ranks, she wanted to stand out from the rest of us and she wanted to impress him.”
“The Rat?”
Nikki shook her head. “She prefers him to be addressed as ‘her creator’. He used to run R.A.S until the downfall of what Dull did. Then he disappeared when the special forces came charging into the facility. No one knows where he is and she’s been trying to track him down along with the rest of the team that went into hiding or separate paths.” She ran her thumb over the black patch sewn over the breast area feeling each bump of the white thick thread Dullahan had used to cover up her former affiliation.
“The Rat is Dr. Alexai Rowland. Supposedly renowned regarding the brain in dealing with memories and how to…fix them. People with trauma, spotty kinds that still need more puzzles, those kinds of things. But I’ve seen what he mostly does. He specialises in manipulating the subject to obey better and to do that, he created a machine that removes one’s memories, painfully. Better than using viruses or B.O.Ws.”
It clicked in Krauser’s head when he connected the dots, his left eye twitched. It was like Spain all over again. “He’s turning them into puppets.”
“Almost, kind of, I don’t know. This is the kind of information I’m not well versed enough, but take Dull’s position.” She stopped when she caught sight of Krauser’s hands slowly flexing until he made her continue. “She underwent the process so many times for anything under the two reasons in his eyes that was deemed…‘imperfect’ and she would be sent to Dr. Rowland to ‘fix’ her. I-It’s like the process of how old movie editing works; they cut out a small number of scenes from the reel and paste the two ends together, so if let’s say she went completely out of character of her…previous personality…and does something out of line, they removed that moment and she won’t recall what she did while the rest knew what she did.
“The second one is basically chucking away the whole film reel. I don’t know when exactly it happened but they have speculated it happened after the incident where she lost her left arm and Dullahan had, has, who the hell knows, a history of memory relapsing due to how much she went through because of her ‘behaviour’. It’s like she’ll experience a sense of deja vu and try to piece things together or figure out the sense behind it if something, someone, or a particular line of sentence triggers that supposedly removed memory in her brain. So if she’s starting to almost go off the rails, then yeah, that one whole day is gone from her head and she’s going on like nothing just happened but we know what happened.”
The whole explanation Nikki had explained to Krauser made him take a seat on the old dusty chair. It was all new information about her, a traumatic one more importantly. He was starting to understand those little moments she had done in front of him that ranged from suddenly staring off into the distance to sudden jerks of her body parts, specifically her head, and what she had been muttering underneath her breath. Sometimes it’s the same word over and over again to gibberish nonsense he doesn’t understand if he said something that set it off or what she heard. He can understand why she never properly brought up that subject. It was simply a painful memory for her. No matter how much someone can take away the bits and pieces for her to forget, she could never forget the actions they’ve done to her.
Another new fear was instilled in him. She’ll forget about him now that Dr. Rowland has kidnapped her. She’ll forget all the years they’ve known each other, the moments they’ve spent together, the memories they created with each other, she’ll forget who she was to him. She’ll no longer be the woman that he knew.
“How are we going to find this bastard?” He said, tapping his fingers against the armrest. “We’re running out of time if he does anything to her with his machine.”
Nikki shook her head, nibbling the corner of her bottom lip, her thumbs digging into the fabric. “That’s a problem. When I texted you thinking you were Dull at first, it was at that time Dr. Rowland somehow knew where she'd be and I ran through my what ifs had I knew this information early to warn her, or if I contacted her organisation regarding a leak in their system, he would somehow still get her without any of us knowing right under our noses. But, there’s a bit of good news, he doesn’t have his machine since Dull destroyed it in her havoc years ago and majority of his work was destroyed from what information I’ve found. So there could be a delay in his progress if he’s going to reprogram Dull again but I don’t know if he will have other methods. Unfortunately…”
“You don’t know where he is.”
She nodded her head solemnly. “Of his new location, yes. But not the previous location. It’s our only lead so far.”
“Our?” Krauser immediately stood up, overtowering her short stature, her legs became jelly and her knees shaking from the growl in his voice to the burning rage on his face. “I’m going there alone. You focus on finding him. If anything, I will have your head.”
“You will need me regardless.” Her voice was almost shaking. She has dealt with Dullahan in her previous life back at R.A.S due to her calm but cold nature and has undergone hard trials as a soldier, but somehow, being threatened by a former Major turned mercenary with her life if she messes up was a frightening experience. “I have connections, resources, and can go to places you can’t. Dullahan trusts me with this job. So please…trust me too.”
His nostrils flared by the word ‘trust’ thrown at him like that. He never trusted anyone with anything and how he lost his trust with the government that threw him on the side to keep things under the rug. Dullahan was the only person who has done right with that word towards him.
“You better earn my trust when you make a breakthrough in finding him.”
“Yes sir.”
“Major.” He growled. She nodded.
“Yes Major.” Nikki pulled out a small note and held it towards him. “This is the address. There might be people who could have sheltered him during his stay or anyone who assisted him still lingering around. He would never come back to collect anything he might have left behind and instead get someone to do so.”
“Hmph.” The note was tucked into one of his vest pockets. Then he held his hand out to her. Nikki blankly blinked at him, confused. “Give me back her jacket.” He’s not allowing her to take what’s left of her belongings from him.
“I can fix it up for her.” She glanced back at the jacket in hand. The state of the blue jacket looked to be beyond repair with part of the left sleeve gone, the right sleeve missing a chunk of the fabric, the train having four symmetrical large tears that looked to be done by her claws, and a couple of buttons missing. “A lot of fixing and cleaning.”
“Do not make me repeat myself again, girlie.” He flexed his fingers back once. “Give it back.”
The jacket was returned to him.
“You know she won’t like what happened to it.” She pointed it out.
“You said you made it.” He said to her, “Make her a new one. It still fits her after all those years. No changes, no upgrades.” He paused when he looked at the jacket too. “On second thought…Give it a couple of upgrades…”
#Jack Krauser#Dullahan#Krauser/Dullahan#Hatter's writing#The Lost Swan#Resident Evil Krauser#Jack Krauser X OC#Krauser X OC
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