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c1oud999 · 6 months

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i just wanted to come on here and talk about my experience with spirituality. warning: longggg post ahead.

basically ive been in the spiritual community for YEARS now. ive had existential crisis since the age of 11 and ive gone through many phases of many different spiritual trends. from law of attraction, to witchcraft, to religious devotion, to law of assumption and now finally non dualism. i read books, meditated for hours and hours, talked to spiritual ppl from all walks of life and watched all the episodes of ganga upanishad (a show i still highly recommend, you can watch on youtube). all this childhood trauma and mental illness made me crave for sweet relief. but nothing really made sense until law of assumption. i thought that that would be it yk. i thought i was done searching but i think that was when i was searching for things the most. i do know i have it in my 4d, when will i see it? i thought i would get all my desires but did not meet success. and then the non dualism trend began and i hopped onto it like pretty much everyone else. i was bewildered at the stuff teachers kept saying. what do you mean everything's an illusion? there's no way that's true. my very real surroundings are causing me VERY real pain and suffering. oh no no there must be a deeper meaning behind all this. and so i read all the books in 4dbarbies drive, but nothing clicked. yes it made sense intellectually, but i didnt want to believe it bc where is the materialisation satisfaction here? also i felt none of the euphoria that was supposed to come with self realisation. which means i must not be a realised being. and then i cried and cried and cried, isolated myself, literally stopped going to school and just lay in bed all day. but ofc, i continued to read the tumblr posts like i had been doing for the past several years. and yesterday i read 4dkelly's post about giving up. it made sense. by the time i had finished reading the post i had truly given up on everything. on wanting, hoping, fearing, striving etc etc. i was SO tired. so i gave up. fell asleep. i woke up really late as usual and missed the school bus. i ate breakfast in silence, switched the tv on and lied down on the couch like always. and like always out of compulsion and force of habit i reached for my phone and looked up non dualism on twitter. and then i came across a tweet that said a simple sentence only- "nothing is ever actually happening." woah. that kinda drove me to the edge of the cliff i desperately wanted to jump off. i turned on some dnb background music and turned the shower on. i stood under the boiling hot water like some dramatic bitch and started piecing together the "puzzle". it all made so much sense now. i got out of the shower and left the house for the first time in months with a cute outfit and makeup on and everything. i went to the mall, bought candles, stickers, eye masks, coffee, and a doughnut with absolutely no social anxiety at all. i sat by window, read some poetry on my e-reader, cried, peered down at the floor below me and cried some more at the sight of little kids sitting on santa's lap and taking pictures and marveled at all the christmas decorations around me. it was insane. i decided i was going to be neutral towards everything but im in love. maddeningly so. in love with this dream that i thought did not love me back. but love is all there is. I AM ALL THERE IS. and i need you to take this literally. there is nothing happening. there is nothing here except you. nothing to fear, nothing to desire. ik a lot of people are going to dismiss this post because it's not a "materialisation success story" but i honestly dont think i can ever want anything physically bc in all its true essence, what is there to materialise? i am already whole and complete. i am lying on this cold hard floor, but i have never felt warmer. also ik there may be a lot of things ive written you might not agree with but again, this is NOT REAL. I AM. i hope this post helps you.

thank you to all the blogs ive come across and all the pointers they have shared: @se1f @realisophie @itgomyway @4dkellysworld @4dbarbie-backup @infiniteko @iamthat-iam and many more i cannot thank enough.

lots and lots of love (more than you can ever imagine), and good luck.

#nondualism #consciousness #advaita vedanta #awareness #advaita #non duality #law of assumption #manifestation #manifesting #neville goddard

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ginnymoonbeam · 5 months

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I have such mixed feelings on episode 11 of Last Twilight. In a nutshell, I like a lot of what they're doing but it needed better setup and more space to fully work.

Things I like:

- that Day's vision wasn't restored, and that this episode showed him accepting this and starting to use more assistive tools (the cane, the text reader app)

- that Day's mom's first response to the failed surgery was "there will be another one!" while Mok's was "I'm here with you." Shows the difference in how they see his blindness even better than their explicit conversation about it.

- that Mok's PTSD from his sister's death finally came head to head against Day's intense need not to be babied. We saw this way back in episode 2-ish, and it makes sense to me as their final hurdle.

- that all Mok's struggles at the hotel came from his own past and his own fears... it was very plainly about Mok's problems, not Day's blindness.

- that Day didn't back down from his anger in that final conflict. Did he need to break up with Mok? Not if he was better at expressing anger and holding boundaries in general... but he's not. People who struggle with asserting themselves tend to go to extremes when they finally do. All that tracked for me.

What I didn't like:

- the lack of space given to Day's surgery recovery and his mom's progress toward accepting Mok. Not even a montage? Not even a couple of scenes? Come on.

- as much as I like the final conflict and the actual argument they had, I don't think there was enough lead-up in previous episodes to make it really land. I had to do a lot of the logicking about why it makes sense for the characters myself, and that's never ideal.

- there's no exploration of the way Day turns to his mom for comfort even after she's consistently treated him the way he hates being treated, while booting Mok out for one big mistake. I can totally understand why he does this, the psychology makes sense, but I want the story to get into it, and it doesn't seem like it will.

- the suggestion that we're headed for another time skip. Trailers lie and Aof trailers especially, so I'm not going to get really mad about this until we see what happens, but I absolutely feel that this is a conflict that needs to be resolved in the immediate aftermath, not a "we didn't see each other for years and then we met and started over." I want to see them working through this issue together, and soon.

A lot of how I feel about this final arc, and the show overall, is going to depend what happens next week.

#last twilight the series #last twilight

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lurkingshan · 1 month

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Unknown Episode 12

This the end beautiful friends. And I wouldn't say the show is going out with a whimper, exactly, but it's certainly not with a bang. This will remain one of my all time favorite Taiwanese dramas, but I will definitely be remembering it as being so so excellent for 10 exquisite episodes that built to such a beautiful peak and then inexplicably blew it on the dismount.

We already talked about episode 11 and the sex scene blunder, as well as some of the other missed beats there. Episode 12 moved on from the immediate aftermath of Yuan and Qian getting together to give us a sense of what their lives will look like now that they are together. One thing I definitely appreciated is that they aren't hiding this from anyone--they are taking the no shame approach to the change in their relationship, and I love that. I don't know that I entirely bought how brazen they were being, though. Making out in the open office space where Qian's employees could see seemed a bit much even if they weren't brothers, and given that the show didn't portray any awkwardness or any of Qian's expected discomfort with this big shift in their relationship, it came across a little silly and dismissive of how serious a change this should be for them. I would have really enjoyed Yuan threatening Qian with kisses if it had been a more private moment. And I deeply hated the top/bottom discussion amongst the fujoshi coworkers, that was just in poor taste and out of step with the tone of the show (can we just ban bls from doing scenes like this already?).

This final episode also failed to meaningfully resolve Qian's health issue in favor of introducing a new plot: Lili's accidental pregnancy. I have mixed feelings about this development. On the one hand, it helps to reinforce a theme of this family's resilience and ensures they will have a family legacy, and it led to hands down my favorite scene in the episode, which was the family discussion where they were moving between the bedrooms as Qian learned of the pregnancy, promised not to attack San Pang, and then immediately attacked San Pang when he stopped hiding. That was comedy gold and the cast was so excellent in every beat of it. On the other hand, I don't love this plot direction for Lili and I don't think the show really did anything to reckon with what a monumental wrench it will throw into her life plans (note that this is another departure from the book, where Lili ends the story a successful jet setting model who is still single and living her ideal life traveling for work). Lili wants a career in fashion modeling and entertainment; how exactly does having a child at age 23 fit with those goals? The show didn't even bother to consider her future in the way this story was framed. I would have preferred a time skip to do this plot at a more appropriate time for her; as it was this just felt a little careless.

In the end I am glad we got to see the family accept each other's relationships and Qian and Yuan settling into living alone together in the home they love, but I do wish the final two episodes had lived up to the promise of the rest. It felt like the first 10 episodes built so beautifully to a monumental relationship change, and then the show just kinda shrugged their way through the actual change in favor of random new plots and a list of ill-fitting Taiwanese bl tropes. After everything they went through, all tension evaporated instantly, no one was uncomfortable with the relationship becoming romantic, and there was no real nuance in the family discussion about it. They simply didn’t finish the story they started and given they had such strong material to work with from the novel, I will never understand why.

That said, even with a lackluster ending I will always be grateful that we got this gem of a show. Despite its flaws, this story contains some of my all-time favorite characters and relationships. Hats off to the cast and crew for delivering one of my favorite dramas of the year. And I want to also thank the folks on here who made discussion of this show every week so fun. We are a tiny little fandom but the love and devotion to this show was so lovely, and I am extra grateful to those who stuck to the weekly pact for the final episodes so we could keep posting and talking about this story for a couple more weeks. I hope we find another show to love together very soon!

#unknown the series #taiwanese bl #shan shouts into the void

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captainofthetidesbreath · 1 year

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Theorizing about Colin's secret and what his entire deal is really feels like threading a needle sometimes because a theory needs to hit or address a lot of points at once. Looking at what we know, as of the end of episode three:

The FDA blackmailed him with a banner of Lucas Fontina, who led a failed coup that is "a deep shadow that lingers at the edge of [his] hard-buried origins." This last bit suggests the coup created the circumstances that shaped the person Colin is now, if not directly affected Colin himself. He recognizes the banner and what secret it points to immediately and without question. (Matt: "This you do recognize as the banner of Fontina. Not since the failed coup of Lucas Fontina many decades ago has this banner been seen, a dark spot on the history of the isles, and a deep shadow that lingers at the edge of your hard-buried origins." — Ep. 1, 1:49:14)

It is a secret with complexity, at least in Colin's view. (Zac: "I assume Colin hasn't told you the complexity of his secret." — Ep. 2, 0:51:33)

Colin believes that some in the Islands want to know who and where he is. Furthermore, he is running from the Islands and is seeking protection. Also worth noting that it seems that his lack of allegiance to the Islands is related. (Zac: "I don't think Colin has any real allegiance or loyalty to the Dairy Islands 'cause that was kind of what he was running from when he joined forces with Deli. So I think he's just gonna stick with Deli and try his best to just sort of latch onto this ship and see where it goes while protecting him as best he can and seeing the power of the Meat Lands and hoping that gives him some protection." — Ep. 2, 00:12:02; Colin: "But I think some people want to find out who I am or where I am." / Deli: "And people from the Dairy Islands or?" / Colin: "Yeah." — Ep. 2, 00:52:19)

Colin believes that merely knowing this secret complicates his relationship with Deli. It is possible (likely?) that this is true of Colin's relationship with any given person who learns it. (Colin: "I think it might make our relationship simpler if I don't [divulge it]." — Ep. 2, 00:52:12)

Speaking on this secret, Colin thinks he did not "even really" do anything and denies it is related having killed someone. (Deli: "Is it someone you killed?" / Colin: "No, I don't think I even really did anything." — Ep. 2, 0:52:12)

It is a secret that has caused Colin to develop a paranoid fear that someone knows it. (Zac: "I think he's not used to anyone thinking about him and so it came as a great shock that someone, his sort of paranoid fear that someone would know the secret about him was actually true." — Ep. 2, 00:11:49)

#Colin Provolone #The Ravening War #Dimension 20 #trw meta #trw things

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my-rose-tinted-glasses · 4 months

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My memory is terrible so I wanted to do a breakdown of my stuff every once in a while. Might be monthly, might be whenever I feel like it.

BL - Currently Watching

7 Days Before Valentine [11/12] - Unlike some other shows, this one is actually getting better towards the end. I appreciate that Sunshine did some self reflection and became a better human being and I really enjoy the visuals here. Also, 7 days before valentine we will watch the finale, so that's neat.

Cherry Magic Th [7/12]– I like what the thai version is doing with the source material, I think they are being really smart and I'm so happy I got to watch the shopping date and the helicopter ride that were missing from the japanese live action.

Cherry Magic Anime [4/12]– I'm enjoying all the parallels way too much. Part of me wishes that it had stayed closer to the manga but since I get that also from Thailand, I can't complain.

Cooking Crush [9/12]– My expectations weren’t as low as maybe other people because I'm a OffGun fan but I am enjoying this show way more than I thought. It’s so refreshing to see good communication and well rounded characters that are given the space to work stuff out and be honest with each other. I feel for Samsee, cause, been there.

Dead Friend Forever [6/12]– this show continues to surprise me every week. I’m a big horror and slasher fan so for the premise alone I was gonna watch it. But I’m liking the way they chose to structure this story, moving from the slasher bit to the past at that moment was really smart. The visuals are so strong in this and I’m enjoying the communal murdering impulses towards the original friend group.

Ossan's Love Returns [3/12] - It’s chaos but the kind that only Japan can get away with for me. That season opener alone would’ve made me stop watching if it wasn’t for that. But the thing about these characters for me is that they get to be this ridiculous because it’s all grounded in such heart and kindness towards each other. It's a balancing act that only Japan can deliver at this level.

Playboyy [10/14] – I applaud the effort to make something new and out of the bl box, I think the show is trying to talk about interesting things and there are moments where the visuals are very strong. However, the acting is the weakest part of the whole thing and so I cannot connect to the characters, which leaves the whole experience kinda empty for me.

Although I Love You, and You? [3/10]- Japan my beloved. What’s there to say? Sakae is my new favourite boy and I’m really enjoying these two bridging the gap in their personalities.

The Sign [10/12]– Phaya and Tharn are delightful. Yai is the bestest boy ever. But there’s too many loose threads considering we only have 2 episodes left. There’s still to much going on and the investigation part of it just seems too disconnected for me to care. I really hope they're not counting on a special or a second season to wrap this up.

BL - Finished

Last Twilight – No need to repeat myself. here and here

Love for Love's Sake - What a wonderful surprise this was. Yeo Woon is one of the most adorable characters of all time and I seriously cannot handle it. From the beginning there was always a cloud over the whole story and I think in the end it all came together really well, to give us a happy ending that feels earned. Also really appreciated the way the story dealt with the triangle. Most of the time I hate them with a passion so I was really happy that Sang Won didn't just disappear and stayed in the group and kept teasing Yeo Woon. And now I'm just suppose to move on?

Night Dream – I liked the beginning a lot, but, as it’s becoming increasingly frequent, it dipped as it approached the end and although I liked how it finished I wasn’t a fan of the path to get there. Time skip once again not used well.

Sahara Sensei to Toki-kun - I have not seen the finale yet but I didn't want to wait so I might update this post when I watch it. However, Toki is my favourite boy, and I just want him to be happy.

VIP Only – Cute but ultimately forgettable.

Rose Watches OJBL

So this month I started my journey into older jbl stuff in order to have a bigger understanding of the landscape and what came before. With the help of the amazing @twig-tea I've started this journey with 2 films: Ai no Kotodama (2008) - Such a wonderful way to start this adventure. Really enjoyed this film. Without spoiling it, I understand that the beginning of the film might turn some people off of it but I think it's actually really smart and purposeful. I would definitely recommend it.

No Touching At All (2014) - Also really enjoyed this one. The direction is really interesting I thought. I feel it's all very intentional and it reflects very well the characters state of mind.

And because Cherry Magic opened the anime gates I also watched:

Given (2019) - This is SO GOOD. This show rewired my brain. Just now I was listening to THE SONG and I got emotional again. Every once in a while I enter this mindset where I feel like nothing that I watch can surprise me anymore. Then I watched this show. My thoughts after watching can be found here.

Not BL - Watched this month

The Killing Vote Taxi Driver 2 Vigilante Fermat no Ryori

Well, that's it I guess. Now I have to go and make some Love for Love's Sake gifs because I just can't move on and need to live there a little longer. Speaking of gifs, I'm always happy to take gif requests so let me know.

💜💜💜

#rose rambles #rosy watchlist #7 days before valentine #love for love's sake #pit babe the series #playboyy the series #although i love you and you #cherry magic th #cherry magic anime #no touching at all #Ai no Kotodama #given anime #the sign #ossan's love #cooking crush #multi bl #Rose Watches OJBL

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novantinuum · 20 days

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Pink Onyx AU- An Analysis and Theory Post, Part 5

[Part 1] | [Part 2] | [Part 3] | [Part 4] | [Part 5- You are here!]

Apologies for this post going up far later than intended!

This is the final part of my analysis series on the excellent @pink-onyx-au comic made by @ceephorsshitshow. If you haven’t already, please check out the first four parts- linked above- for more information on what these posts are all about. A lot of this analysis will build on what came previously.

Now, here’s where I’m really starting to take a big ol’ stab at some speculation.

Question Seven: Is Steven’s mental repression about corrupting ALSO causing him to physically repress post-corruption scars?

Not only has Steven as a whole continuously shied away from discussing anything about his corruption incident, but he’s been vocally downplaying it, too… his voice overtly growing smaller the one time he overtly references it.

(Episode 1: Page 6)

He briefly alludes to his corruption later when he realizes that Onyx bears their own corruption scars (and ones that defo weren’t Jasper influenced), but beyond that he hasn’t willfully mentioned this topic one bit.

Which… if we didn’t already know how much he Deeply Dislikes Talking About His Own Feelings… would be odd, given the fact that one of his big reasons for trying to fuse with Jasper is to “feel what it’s like to be each other” and try to foster a better understanding between them both. Like, Steven. Buddy. Corruption is a HUGE thing that you now have in common with Jasper. At some point, you’re gonna have to bite that bullet and actually sit down and process this reality.

Far earlier in this analysis series, I brought up a bit of dialogue from Jasper that I said I’d be discussing later.

(Episode 2: Page 15)

“That human form you wear must have been hiding your markings.”

Yeah, this bit.

Even if Steven isn’t vocally bringing up the elephant in the room himself, Jasper seems to immediately recognize what he’s gone through. (Something something, ambient thought sharing within fusion.)

And her theory here is interesting, albeit not entirely accurate.

Not only is Steven’s human form hiding his markings, but his Gem form seems to be, too. Because we’ve seen his Gem.

(Episode 3: Page 11)

He harbors almost no corruption remnants save for a set of noticeably sharp upper teeth (that full hybrid Steven does not have.)

Now, why is this? Why does Onyx present with what should be Steven’s corruption markings, but not Steven or his own components?

Let’s take a quick look to catalog which features are whose before we move on. Let’s start simple- with Jasper.

Jasper only has three notable post-corruption marks- one splotch on her left shoulder, one on her right hand over her thumb, and a pair of horns sticking up through her hair. They’re easily traceable on Onyx’s design.

(Episode 2: Page 12)

There they are! I’ve circled them in red for convenience. Of course, what the big bomb at the end of Episode 9 suggests to me (Steven suddenly showing evidence of corruption scars) is that every other trace of past corruption on Onyx is something that Steven brings to this fusion. Which means, what he’s bringing to the table must be:

Two separate splotches on the right arms, visible claws, and the arm spikes we saw his corrupted form with in “I Am My Monster.” (I imagine that Steven’s corrupted form also having horns influences how long Onyx’s are, compared to Jasper’s.)

Not to mention, uh…

(Episode 7: Page 7)

This gigantic ass geode scar on their back. Which we know for a FACT is Steven’s, because-

Something about being Onyx with Jasper results in these normally repressed features manifesting in full… even when he’s still avoiding conversation about it. Is it due to some sort of subconscious feeling of acceptance- the sense that he feels safer being his rawest self around her, since she’s been through the same thing? Or is it something else entirely?

Bottom line is, Steven may be able to repress these markings just as he does his own emotions… but Onyx does not. And with this latest episode, it seems that certain aspects of this fusion are already rubbing off on him.

(Episode 9: Page 22)

We at least have a visual on the large mark with two overlapping circles on his right arm in these frames.

But, uh… let me ALSO point your attention to-

Yeah. Y e a h. I think that’s the very tippy top of Steven’s version of the back scarring we see Onyx with. It’s hard to say for sure if it’s the same geode scar design, but it’s definitely something.

Anyways! The boy’s got visible scars now. Can’t really hide from the reality of your own experiences looking like this, huh? *twiddles fake and very mysterious mustache*

Where I think all this could be going:

Now. With all those discussion points out of the way, I’m gonna do a bit of theorization on where I think a few plot threads could be going.

Number one.

Onyx’s healing spit and “Jasper’s ugly plants.”

(Episode 4: Page 10)

While re-reading, I noticed that there’s a growing pattern of Onyx using their healing spit- either intentionally or not- and then their surroundings reacting very swiftly to their mental state. In the above panel, a fronting Jasper tries to use the spit to fix a broken rock. Then, when she speaks ill of the fusion after it fails to work, the spit begins to melt away at said rock as if it were acid.

(Episode 7: Page 10)

Something similar happens when Onyx spits onto the ground here. After Jasper speaks with intent to cause harm to the fusion to split them apart, a creeping vine begins to ominously sprout out of the ground while they’re not looking. (And then, it legit just gets. Sucked into the ground. Oughhgoughhgh spooky.)

I think this plant is the same one that Onyx puts on blast as “Jasper’s ugly plant” in the next episode, that venus flytrap lookin’ one.

And I think the reason it has grown so large and aggressive is that the results of Onyx’s healing spit usage is tightly intertwined with their emotional state. Thus, whenever Onyx says or thinks something negative about themself, the plants they’ve created leap in size. Or in the case of the spit on the rock, it starts to decay. It feels like a logical extension of the way Steven’s activation of his powers at ALL is linked to his emotions.

With all of this in mind, my theory is that over time these plants are going to cause more and more of a problem as Onyx continues to beat themself down- and that the growing urgency of this issue will act as a sort of visual feedback for them when it comes to trying to escape this cycle of negative self-talk and self-loathing.

Number Two.

Re: everything that's been discussed in previous posts, I think Jasper’s arc here is going to be centered around two things. First, I think she’ll have to finally reckon with the reality of her shattering and come to terms with the fact that she actually IS upset about what Steven did to her.

Second, I think she will- through what I’m hoping will eventually be a healthy fusion dynamic as Onyx- start working through her deep-rooted abandonment trauma.

(Episode 8: Page 9)

Said fusion may not be someone who gets to exist forever as she might prefer, but Onyx’s existence even for a SHORT time deeply matters, and this makes the experience alone incredibly worth it, in my mind. I dearly hope she comes to realize this too, one day.

Number Three.

I think the sudden surfacing of corruption scars for Steven is going to (in time) force him to stop repressing his own feelings about what he went through from the people around him and actually push him to start talking about this experience, to actually process it.

Crucially, he won’t be able to conceal these markings from Jasper, and they will finally see eye-to-eye on realizing they hold this experience (corruption) in common, and that they both in some way felt they deserved it for the people they became. Suffice it to say, I am very eyes emoji at the fact that an upcoming episode is titled “Self-Hatred,” with the description “Steven and Jasper realize what they have in common.”

Y e p. Yep, yep, yep. Whatever happens in that episode is bound to be VITAL to the trajectory of Onyx’s story.

Because only once they both recognize and vocalize what they both hold in common and stop running from these facets of themselves can their fusion truly find lasting harmony.

Lingering questions with no clear answers:

What I’ve discussed in these posts is for sure not exhaustive- this comic is very dense with potential lore musings and interpretations, and there’s plenty of lingering mystery even still. Here is a list of some of the questions I still have jangling about in my mind, off the top of my head:

What is the deal with that rabbit, and is it anything more complex than “Onyx healed it?” Why does it snap alert and glow whenever Onyx is active? I think this connects with my earlier healing spit musings in some ways, but I have not determined how yet.

Steven got nicked by a prickly vine in Episode 5, and a bit of his blood was lingering on the thorn afterwards. Where is this leading? (Also seems connected to the healing spit musings.)

What is the purpose of all the glitchiness at the edges of some of the panels? Is it merely an extension of the instability suggested by the butterfly motif, or does it mean something entirely different?

What exactly was Connie’s hunch about Steven when she reached out to Pearl? We know from the most recent episode that Pearl thinks Steven is trying to hide rebound transformations… and possibly Amethyst, too. But what about Connie? She has a lot more context from her text conversation than any of the others do, right now.

And what does Garnet actually know? We haven’t seen any of her perspective yet except that one ominous future vision timestream spread.

As a final little note to cap off this post series, thank you so much to @ceephorsshitshow for your incredible and frankly, inspirational work on this comic- and for allowing me to pilfer so many of your stunning comic panels to go absolutely hog wild analyzing your work. Regardless of whoever else reads these, I hope that at least you got a kick out of observing my Suffering in the Meta Trenches of your own story, ahahah.

Thank you to any of y’all who have read along with me- and for god’s sake, if you’re still here and you haven’t checked out this comic yet, what on Earth are you doing? Go, go- to the tumblr page with you! Check it out, holy shit!

You can read the Pink Onyx comic here.

Have a nice day/night, all!

Curtains.

#su #su future #steven universe #jasper #pink onyx #su meta #pink onyx au #my post stuff

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thatpodcastkid · 16 days

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Magnus Archives Relisten 11, MAG 11 Dreamer

If someone came to my place of work proclaiming they had a prophetic dream about my death I would simply believe them. RIP to Gertrude but I'm just built different ig.

MAG 11 analysis, spoilers ahead!

Facts: Statement of "Antonio Blake" regarding his dreams of Gertrude Robinson, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute (Head Archivist is another odd and foreshadowing usage of proper nouns in the transcript). Statement given March 14th, 2015.

Statement Notes: Oliver I love you but I also hate you so so much.

It's so strange relistening to this statement. On my first listen, I was very sympathetic to "Antonio." He was this innocent man who suddenly developed psychic abilities that tormented him. Even in 121 when he describes what he did on the voyage to Point Nemo, he seems to be driven by fear and desperation. But knowing what happens after Point Nemo and who he becomes in the Eyepocalypse, I wonder how much influence the power of the End had on him. As Jon develops his abilities, he becomes less confident in "normal" social situations, but more confident and stronger in dangerous horror-based scenarios. This seems true with Blake/Banks as well. He's very nervous as his abilities are developing when he tries to talk to Gertrude or Jennifer from Grifter's Bone. As he becomes more attuned with his abilities and gives in to his desires, he becomes more powerful, shown when he is strong and devoid of emotion enough to kill the actual Dr. Pritchard. He becomes strongest when he "gives in" to the End, being most clear and charming as he gives his statement in 121 and the Coroner's Report in 168. Just being able to track this change so clearly from this first statement to the last speaks not only to Jonny Sims skills for character development, but also the power of the Entities to draw out the worst in a person.

Blake describes his dream world as an "overexposed" or "washed out" photograph. The fading imagery was very profound and strong to me. Death is a fear, a horror represented by the black tendrils, but also a simple force of nature, slowly sucking life and color from all things. Unstoppable.

I don't know why I'm harping on this, but I can't understand why Blake's dreams always begin at the top of Canary Wharf. Does that come up again in the show? Is it personally significant to Blake?

Character Notes: I already got into Blake, so my other main character concern for this episode is Gertrude.

Did she ever see this statement?

Did she simply miss it? Was she busy and didn't get a chance to look at it before it was too late? Did she read it and attempt to prepare? She was smart. She knew which statements were real and which weren't. She would have understood what Blake was capable of. Did she attempt to prepare and defend herself but just couldn't manage it? Did Elias hide it from her? Did she read it and just accept the inevitable?

But of course, I have to bring up the Graham mention. I always thought the Graham/Oliver ship was just a fun fan thing, but I didn't realize Oliver had broken up with a Graham in cannon. Moreover, I didn't realize that it was confirmed to be Graham Folger until reading about the Season 5 Q&A when working on this post.

This raises an interesting point about original Graham. Blake describes having a mental breakdown due to his job, and Amy Patel describes her office job degrading her mental health as well. Is there something about Graham that attracts people losing their minds in an office? While it could be something spooky, I do understand why people stuck in mind-numbing careers would be drawn to someone with the time and resources to explore what he actually wants to do with his life, rather than what he has to do.

Entity Alignment: This is very clearly an End episode. I very much believe that, while he may not be the most powerful or dangerous avatar in the series, Oliver Banks was one of the most deeply connected to his entity. His psyche, his spirit, and his physical body were all so entrenched in death. It's interesting that there is no "inciting incident" that causes Graham to become an avatar of the End, as usually there is one event that acts as the root of an avatar's development. You could possibly argue it was his mental health breakdown, but that seems unrelated to death or anything associated with the End.

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kudouusagi · 2 months

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You know, watching episode 11 of bucchigiri, it was very difficult to see Zabu being beaten like that, poor thing. I wonder how they are going to end this story with just one episode, there are a lot of meaningless things I think I only see three alternatives. 1. an open ending with Matakara and Arajin making peace but going their separate ways (matakara) and maybe a 2nd season with arajin trying to get him to be a honki again. 2. Matakara and Arajin don't make peace and are murdered like Senya and Ichiya and they turn into geniuses and try to fight again like Senya and Ichiya. 3. For me, I most wanted Matakara's brother not to die and return and save Matakara from ruin. What worries me in the end is how they are going to make an acceptable and good ending for Matakara because he did a lot of bad things. What worries me are the consequences. sorry for the text.

It was hard to watch Zabu being beaten... I hope he's still alive because at the rate this shows going I'm not sure he is.

My problem with this story is they've kept all the actual plot for the end and so people lost interest before any plot even happened, but even the plot we've been given hasn't been explained well enough.

I still don't know what honki people actually are. What happens when they become honki people? Earlier in the series Arajin asked Senya if he was a honki person and he said he is a man who came the closest to being one. I started making a post about all the awkward translations in this series but I stopped (I got demotivated about the series in general, but I've also been having a lot of personal problems... I was hospitalized for my mental health for about a week this month >.>) I started like 10 posts about this series that have just been stuck in my drafts the whole time lol

Here's part of that post

So we saw they banned people from attempting to become honki people... but I have no idea why because nobody has become one before.... and I don't know what would happen if they did lol. I don't know how him and Ichiya then became majin either. I saw they got shot and died... and for other people to be able to use their power of strength, they must shoot themselves with the guns that killed them... why? Who knows.

Why did Arajin have to shoot himself again? I have no idea. I didn't see him loose the bullet he had. All that happened was he told Senya to go away. Is that all it takes to make him go away?? Arajin didn't even want Senya there the whole time, so why was he there at all? I don't know. But apparently he needed to shoot himself again to get him back lol. Up until then people had been having the bullet ricochet around the room so I didn't know what would happen if he just directly shot himself like that, but apparently that worked the same as it ricocheting.

So my theory is that the two genies will take over Arajin and Matakara's bodies... they'll fight... probably become honki people because nobody will be there to shoot people for trying to become honki people again, and then maybe we'll finally figure out wtf was wrong with Ichiya to begin with that he decided he had to fight Senya and risk getting killed to do it. I felt like he was possessed by the shadow thing like Matakara was afraid of because when Makatara was scared of it, it looked to me like it was inside of Ichiya.

Matakara thought the "monster" disappeared when he kicked it, but Ichiya just moved behind him and looked possessed.

But with the way things are going, I don't even expect this series to explain that. They've literally explained nothing.

#bucchigiri?!

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charmac · 11 months

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speaking of things that were brought up in the show once and then never spoken of again, im honestly astounded that the revelation that luther was sending letters to mac and dennis was destroying them has seemingly had no impact on the characters beyond tggth. ik the fans probably discussed it more when the episode came out (which i wasnt there for) but its such a huge reveal like…mac who is ignored by his father 99% of the time was actually receiving letters from him and both of his best friends knew and didnt say anything. id love to see that revisited.

Tbh I think that one’s definitely a dead and buried event as spoken between Mac and Dennis, but I definitely wouldn’t say it’s had no further impact on the characters.

Mac’s internal struggle with his dad loving him certainly continued, and from what I see, it was pretty heavily built off the basis of Dennis destroying the letters:

Mac’s ‘PTSD’ nightmares are between him killing his father, just as he hopes he’ll say he loves him, and Dennis making a move on him, finally returning physical affection. I’d say that’s a good idea of how Mac processed/was processing what Dennis did. Mac’s mind seemed to be rationalising that he would kill his father by his own hands if he had access to him. Dennis physically destroyed the possibility, ‘proving he loved Mac’ (and further in Mac’s mind, Luther would kill Mac, given the opportunity).

But then, Mac does ‘kill’ [his relationship with] his father by his own hands when he comes out to him. His father doesn’t want Mac’s true self, and won’t listen. So when Mac does have a way to express himself in return, it hurts him. (Again, further affirming himself that Dennis cut off a potential relationship to protect him).

Now what’s really interesting is that they chose to go with letters again, in connection with Mac’s father, they further cast GSC to play his Uncle, made him gay, and weaved the idea of Mac having kids into the play. Isn’t that just all, a lot to chew on…

Honestly it’s hard for me to properly space it out, so I hope the following makes sense (and I am responding to this while on NYC transit, but what better place to dump my brain out):

I think the letters from Luther to Mac being destroyed by Dennis was a solid base they continue to build around through now. I mean, it’s certainly no coincidence that they decided on letters to be his family legacy, letters his mother destroyed before Mac could read. And then it can’t be a coincidence that the last time Mac spoke to his father, the first time he spoke to him since he found out about his letters, he expressed he wanted Mac to have children, and now Mac is telling his Uncle who looks like his father that he wants these new (old) letters for his children (alongside the theme of ignoring a shared sexuality). That’s not a coincidence, I really hope it’s not.

So I think it remains unsaid between the characters for a few reasons. 1. The confessions from TGGTH went down with the ship for all of them (stuff it down with some brown, bury it under the booth, kick it under the kegs). 2. Mac sees it as a twisted act of love from Dennis, so why teeter with that? 3. It’s a base plot device they continue to build off of for now that, maybe, eventually they’ll address, if we ever work back around to another Mac finale (We can see a theme of things being unburied… Or they’ll just let the insane analysts like me draw dots and connect lines and spout my shit through the rest of time.)

Though those are just my thoughts, certainly RCG will have to talk about it when they get to Seasons 11-13 on the Podcast, so that’s something to look forward to in 2.5-3 years!

#iasip #mac mcdonald #mac meta #ask #frank shoots every member of the gang #the gang goes to hell #mac finds his pride

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whimsicallyenchantedrose · 4 months

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Season 3 Rewatch Drabbles: 3x12 New York City Serenade

(gif by @pirateherokillian)

Summary: A series of 100-500 word drabbles to accompany my rewatch of season 3 of Once Upon a Time. There will be a drabble–either a deleted scene, a “fix it” fic or a character musing for each episode of the season. Focus will be on Emma, Henry, the Charmings and Killian–with an emphasis on Captain Swan’s epic love story.

Word Count: 938

Other Chapters: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (14) (15) (16) (17) (18) (19) (20) (21) (22) (23) (24) (25) (26) (27) (28)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Killian tossed the bean into the churning sea and then jumped just as he saw the smoke of the newest curse billow toward him. He let out a long breath as the portal closed around him.

He’d made it.

Now came the real challenge. Before he’d left the band of heroes, Regina had told him she’d given Swan and Henry a life in New York City. Killian recalled the one and only time he’d been in this New York. It had been a land of noise, bustle and endless people. It was a strange land where he could walk among the citizens dressed as a pirate of old, and no one batted an eye. (Aside, of course, from that group of giggling women who had requested he take a selfie with them, whatever the blazes that was.)

How did one even begin to search for someone in this sprawling metropolis? Killian supposed he could always break into Baelfire’s apartment and use it as a home base of sorts while he waited if that proved necessary.

The portal deposited Killian upon a sidewalk and he fell to his knees with a wince. He got quickly back to his feet, looking around himself, pleased to see this particular sidewalk was largely deserted.

Killian glanced around to find that he’d landed in front of what may be a lodging house of some kind–an apartment building, he believed it was called in this land. It seemed to be outside of the heart of the city, the sidewalk lined by well manicured trees and shrubs.

Perhaps he’d been fortunate. Perhaps the portal had deposited him in front of Swan’s abode. He strode toward the gate before the building and pulled at the handle.

It appeared to be locked tight.

Killian peered down at the lock and frowned. It didn’t seem to require a key. All he could see was some manner of keypad. How was one to pick a lock such as this?

He was still trying to determine the answer to that when an elderly lady came to the gate and gave him a disapproving look.

“Just why are you loitering here, young man?” she asked, frowning up at him.

Killian bit his lip to keep from laughing at the “young man” comment. If only she knew his actual age! “I believe my girlfriend lives in this building, madam,” he said in his most charming tone, the one that got even Granny herself to blush. “Emma Swan? Can you help me get in?”

If anything, the woman’s frown deepened, and she folded her arms. “I’ve met Emma Swan’s boyfriend, and you are not him.”

Killian ignored the nasty, jealous feeling the statement evoked. It was vital he get to Emma as soon as possible and restore her memories. He hadn’t time to reflect on the current state of her love life and the emotions that dredged up within him.

“I think you must be mistaken,” he lied smoothly. “That relationship is at an end, and she’s with me now.”

She continued to watch him carefully for another moment, and then nodded, turning toward the keypad and unlocking the door. “Well, I can’t say I’m sorry to see the end of Walsh,” she said. “There was always something kind of….shifty…about him. I’m not sure that you’re any better, though. Don’t think I can’t see right through that charm you ooze.”

“You find me charming?” he asked, flirting shamelessly as he followed her into the building and then surreptitiously glanced at the buzzer board in the entryway to find the apartment number he was looking for. His grin widened as the elderly woman finally blushed.

“Don’t let it go to your head, young man,” she said, turning to open an apartment door on the ground floor.

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

Killian was still grinning from the encounter as he climbed the stairs until he’d reached Swan’s floor, but the grin was replaced by nerves when he reached her door. Was he ready for this? Was he ready to see her again and see the lack of recognition in her eyes?

Would his plan to bestow a True Love’s Kiss on her work to restore her memories? He knew she cared about him; he’d seen it in her eyes when they’d bid each other farewell at the town line. Was it enough to break a curse?

He took a deep breath and then stood taller, looking at the door determinedly. There was only one way to find out.

Taking one more fortifying breath, he raised his fist and knocked.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Five minutes later, Killian hobbled down the stairs and back out onto the sidewalk, his heart smarting as much as his nether regions at the failure of his first plan. Aye, it had been a long shot that his True Love’s Kiss would work. Perhaps her feelings were not as strong as he’d hoped they were. Still one hardly wished his kiss to his beloved to be followed by a swift knee to his groin.

For a moment, as he got his bearings and began making his way toward Baelfire’s abode, Killian allowed himself to feel the sting of rejection, but then he firmly put it aside.

So his first attempt had failed. He still had the potion. Aye, he had hoped to give it to the lad after his kiss had restored Swan’s memories, but he could adapt. It was time to rethink his approach and strategize.

Getting through Regina’s memory spell was going to be quite the challenge, but he loved a challenge, and he loved Emma.

She was worth fighting for.

NEXT CHAPTER-->

#season 3 rewatch drabbles #cs fanfiction #ouat fanfiction #my fanfiction #3x12 new york city serenade #killian jones

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pandasmagorica · 4 months

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Disability and the Last Twilight ending

Much as I loved Last Twilight, warts and all, I was disappointed at some of the choices they made surrounding their depictions of disability and Day's path through it.

I'm writing as a person with a disability, but not blindness (or deafness for that matter).

We don't get a lot of depictions of disability in fictional media. That places a lot of our hopes that any particular depiction will get it right:

that characters with disabilities either have already found a way to live well (Rear Window, Wait Until Dark, Not Me) or learn to work within it (Moonlight Chicken, Last Twilight through the end of episode 11).

that we don't get an unrealistically perfect or heroic depiction of a person with disabilities.

that the person with disabilities' success and happiness is not dependent on a savior, although they can get help from others.

that a happy ending (if the fiction is to end happily) does not depend on curing the disability.

that if the fiction is a romance, that the person with disability ultimately has approximately equal agency with their partner, who might be abled or disabled.

that we get to see main characters that fulfill the above desires.

I think Last Twilight came through on the first two points, and one can argue about the third, but failed on the last three.

Day, while blind, opened a bookstore. While the bookstore has print books, there are also activities for blind people. (yay)

Day is imperfect. (yay)

Day's life is changed for the better by Mork's help, and continues to improve once Mork has been booted out of Day's life. (open to debate)

Day's blindness was cured. (sigh)

Day didn't have equal agency with Mork pre-break-up. He could only get his agency by breaking up with Mork, and subsequently, by regaining his sight. (sigh)

Aon, a fairly minor character, fulfilled the first three desires, but Day, a main character, did not. (In Not Me, Yok's mother is a fairly minor character. In Moonlight Chicken, Heart is one of the side couple.) (sigh)

If we had plenty of depictions of people with disabilities, most of which satisfied the first several desires I listed, and we also regularly got lead characters with disabilities, then Last Twilight's failings would not be a big deal.

But we don't.

And Day's blindness was a central part of the plot.

I'm not angry about this. I'm disappointed.

There are other failings which bloggers have raised, such as Mork's apology to Day and Day failing to apologize to both Mork and Night - seems like we just got through discussing that sort of thing about Only Friends (more sigh). So I'll focus on what I see as other failings involving disability.

Day gained additional independence by acquiring a cane. So why wasn't he using it when leaving the hotel in episode 12? Beyond setting up the plot point of Mork helping him, that is.

Lack of Thai Braille in Day's bookstore. (Although, given the technology that Day demonstrated - as when he read Mork's contract on his phone - perhaps Braille is less important than it once was.)

Actually, why wasn't Day using the cane in the bookstore so he doesn't accidentally walk into or grab a customer?

Actually, why didn't Day get a cane much earlier?

Or use tools such as a Braille embosser, something that's been around for years and years?

We don't see Day asking the blind guy if he wants help crossing the street, good etiquette for interacting with a person with a disability, presumably because the writers don't want us to know he has his eyesight back until they get across the street for a delayed reveal.

I'm hoping that, as with the increasing depiction of queers in media being accompanied by an increasing percentage of positive, layered depictions, that we'll see a similar increase in positive, layered depictions of people with disabilities.

#yaoi #thai ql #thai bl #pandasmagorica #last twilight meta #last twilight series #last twilight the series #last twilight #disability #disabilities #Disability in media #blindness #blind

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pocket-jack · 6 months

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Ok. I'm gonna share this one... Kidd and Law is Luffy's older brothers, instead of Ace and Sabo.

In this AU Ace was given to White Beard instead, and he was raised like his adopted son (so, less aggression and daddy issues, I guess). He met Luffy in Alabasta and decided to stick alongside with Straw Hats, repeating the filler episodes in dessert. They got along so well, that he shared his Vivre Card with Luffy in case if he ever needs his help. Sabo was one of Luffy's friends, when he was younger, but then he went missing after the fire at Grey Terminal, and Luffy never knew why. Then he appeared in Dressrosa attempting to gain Ace's Devil Fruit for revolutionary army, and Luffy, who wanted to make sure that his friends Fruit will be given to the right person, allowed him to have it.

Luffy in this AU was mostly alone in his first months with Dadan's clan. He was 7 years old and never had friends his age, so the best thing he came up with is to follow around a bunch of teenage thugs who play pirates.

He loves hanging out around those guys, because they were cool, and pirates, and they had a bear! And the funny hat guy's name is Penguin! And other guy wears cool glasses! And Traffy is always patches him up if he gets hurt trying to chase after them. They like a cool older brother's for him! But Traffy doesn't like when Luffy following them around. And he said that he's allowed to visit them only if he's hurt or needs his toes to be cut off. Luckily for Luffy, there's a guy who's beats him almost all the time.

Kidd is 11 years old. He's a kid who's been sold to Bluejam Pirates because his parents were poor and couldn't handle him. Luffy know he's just misses his home, that why he's always so wild and aggressive. Kidd's also love fixing and building stuff on the Grey Terminal, but last time Luffy got caught on spying him, he got beat up really bad. Many people at GT or Dadan's clan members talks about him as a little monster, who's too violent for this world. Many are afraid of him, some are angry, some are pitying him, but Luffy are actually amused by his strength. Even if Kidd causes trouble to everyone, even his crewmates, he's strong and cool. He builds cool stuff and actually pretty great at it. But perhaps he have some self-esteem issues? He often sees danger in people and their words. Just who did this to him?

Law is 15 years old. He's a pirate. And these three guys are his crew. They call themselves Heart Pirates, but currently they don't have any boat. They've had to set sail from their home to hide from the bad man and almost shipwrecked on the Dawn Island. Law never talked about this bad man, and no one, even his crew, never asked him about it either. He's a doctor. A beginner, to be right. He usually goes to GT to practice his medical skills, luckily there's a lot of wounded there. He also takes care of Luffy, because Dadan literally said "Well, he choosed you. Do whatever you want with him, just don't kill him" when he brought him to her the first time. He usually visits Dadan clan when Luffy receives pretty bad injuries and require bed rest. We all know that Luffy just can't lay in bed all day, right? Everyone is cherishing Law, because he acts like a golden child, when he stays at their place for some time: he and his crew wash the dishes, clean the house, take care of wounded and also help bring food. Dadan just ready to switch children up to this point. He and his crew also have troubles with Bluejam Pirates, mostly because Kidd have troubles with them. The battle between the Heart Pirates and Kidd's band sometimes resembles a bloody war rather than childish fight, especially when Kidd is only one standing and just can't give up no matter how hard he gets injured. HP are usually leave his little band patched up and without some of their body part as a threat (Kidd always retrieved them with fight, while the other kids were simply asking nicely or doing errands for HP as a payment).

One day they gonna become best friends and then brothers, that compete against one goal - to become King of the Pirates.

Can you imagine the scene in Shakky's Rip-off bar where she explained to them about Supernova's and especially emphasized on Law and Kidd, because they're the most dangerous out of them. And Luffy just goes "Yeah, I know, they're my big brothers!" leaving everyone shocked as hell. Two of the most dangerous guys in The Worst Generation... And they're Luffy's brothers. Why no one is surprised?

#one piece #trafalgar law #monkey d. luffy #eustass kid #one piece au #i'm suck at writing english text if it's not talking or screaming

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jadelotusflower · 6 months

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Stargate rewatch: 1x19 There But For The Grace of God

One of my favourite episodes titles of the series, also kicking off what is essentially a four episode arc to end season 1 and kick off season 2. 90’s tv was the eternal battle between episodic and arc-based storytelling, and I actually think the show threaded the needle quite well.

I do love an alternative universe episode, back in the beforetimes when a multiverse served a story purpose and not just a fodder for fanservice of the “your favourite character, and they’ve got a new hat!” variety.

The story credit for this episode is David Kemper, an Executive Producer for Farscape, but this is his only Stargate contribution. Robert C Cooper wrote the teleplay, and the episode was directed by David Warry-Smith, his first of 11 for the show.

Love that they brought back Catherine, Elizabeth Hoffman is great (RIP). Given that Jack is a general in this timeline, perhaps we can assume he kept her on the project as opposed to the main timeline’s General West shutting things down/sidelining her after Abydos?

But Jack still went on the Abydos (suicide) mission so presumably wasn’t a general at that time. I know we have to be la la la don’t think about it with the alternate timelines but I’m so curious how things went down in this universe!

How long did it take them to work out how to use the gate without Daniel’s help? I guess they couldn’t communicate with the Abydonians without Daniel but they still were able to kill Ra - how? If they never went to Chulak what triggered Apophis’s interest in them to mount an attack on Earth? Why is the attack in this universe before the attack in the prime universe when really the events should be delayed in the AU?

This is a decent wig for Sam. Sadly, the only decent wig she’ll get the entire series.

I also wonder what was the difference in this universe so Sam didn’t join the Airforce.

Daniel guilelessly giving the address for Chulak right after taking about Jack intending to blow up Abydos. He’s so used to his Jack whose come so far since then, never even thinking that alt!Jack may not have, and what they might want the coordinates for.

lol, Daniel walks down the stairs, crosses the room, looks at the map, then puts on his glasses.

“Every one of those red dots is a destroyed city.” Apophis a fan of the United Celtic Nations it seems.

Daniel finally twigs that he might be in an alternate reality (with Sam defining it for him), but we can’t be too harsh, he canonically has zero pop culture game and this was the 90’s. Even in todays over-saturation of multiverse content Daniel would probably still have no clue.

They made a decent attempt at Spader!Daniel with this pic!

Daniel and being dead/missing in alternate realities/timelines, name a better duo.

It is interesting that in a lot of the AUs the show explores, Daniel’s lack of involvement in the Stargate program coincides with that universe being doomed.

I forgot that the 38 minute gate window was first established in this episode! That’s a huge piece of lore originating in an alternate universe.

It wouldn’t be an alternate universe without at least one character with silly hair.

Generally I prefer AUs that explore character rather than ones used to advance plot (or are lazy fanservice looking at you mcu), and while the primary purpose of this episode is to give Daniel forewarning of the Goa’uld attack and the gate address to the source, there is some nice stuff here especially around Jack and Teal’c.

Because at their core alt!Jack and alt!Teal’c are still the same - Teal’c still hates the Goa’uld, Jack is still willing to take big risks on his instincts, and there’s a mirror to Children of the Gods where Jack reaches out to Teal’c, but it’s a dark mirror, and it’s the little differences that matter because Jack isn’t the same person as the one in CotG, who went through the Abydos mission with Daniel and came out a better person, instead he’s the one that sent the bomb that killed Teal’c’s family, and it dooms them both.

Opening credits shot!

“I also wish to blow us all to hell.” Alt!Sam is a badass. No difference to prime!Sam there.

There’s also an interesting moment between Teal’c and Daniel in the gateroom - Teal’c doesn’t shoot straight away when he could have, so maybe Jack telling him of the alternate universe where Teal’c was fighting the Goa’uld got through. He still fires as Daniel runs for the gate, but only hits him in the shoulder - at such close range Teal’c could probably have made the kill shot. His hesitation saved Daniel’s life, and ultimately the life of his other self.

Because Daniel’s presence in the other reality changes nothing for it - alt Jack, Sam, Teal’c and Catherine all still die, the Stargate is destroyed and that would have happened anyway (with maybe the exception of Jack being able to stall Teal’c to set the self destruct).

But Daniel’s changed - there but for the grace of god (or fate) go our team.

#stargate sg 1 #stargate rewatch #1x19 there but for the grace of god

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chalkrevelations · 8 months

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Ughhhhh, I'm feeling absurdly melancholy about OF and BostonNick this afternoon, when I only came into this show for a good time. I watched QaF and The L Word, I know the melodrama and how things can turn on a dime, I wasn't really expecting anything less, it's just ...

Boston and Nick were the relationship I was most interested to see in this show, and with one episode left, and the specter of Boeing looming over that, I'm just left with this impending sense of wasted potential. These two characters have had the outline of an amazing arc, where they worked their way through a lot of shit - their own and other people's - to reach the point where they may actually be the least toxic couple right now, but it's been a bare-bones presentation. I feel like the audience has been left to do the work of sussing out a lot of subtextual stuff about the characters and their relationship, left to extrapolate a lot of what's been going on - which, fine, that kind of thing is my jam, and if it was a shorter season, like Moonlight Chicken length, and we were doing this with all the characters, ok. But this is in contrast to the sometimes excruciating detail we've gotten on other characters and relationships as they've run around in circles, sometimes enacting the same drama repeatedly.

I mean, is this a metatexual thing? A storytelling device? Am I supposed to be as tired of Top and Mew going back and forth as I am? Am I supposed to be dreading the amount of screentime it looks like Sand and Ray are going to suck up in the last episode having manufactured drama over Boeing when what they really need to be focused on dealing with is whether Sand's lifestyle is at all conducive to Ray's recovery and sobriety - because it's not just the plum wine business?

Am I supposed to feel like Boston and Nick seem to have been pushed to the outskirts, turned into an afterthought? Don't get me wrong - Mark and Neo continue to eat their scenes alive when they're actually allowed on screen, but like I've said before, it's a good thing they're as talented as they are, because in lesser hands, Boston and Nick would have absolutely been drowned out at this point. They're lucky to get six minutes of screentime, tops, each episode.

I realize I'm at a disadvantage here, because I went into this without investment in the two branded pairs, who are almost certain to not only get screentime but to end up together because, well, branding - even though I can't see what it would hurt to one time have at least an open ending. I honestly don't care, at this point, what happens with Top and Mew, that's how done I am with their interminable push-and-pull. The smartest thing Top ever said was "Maybe we need to stop doing this," before he let Mew pull him in again. But whatever. I do think that a more honest, organic ending for Sand and Ray needs to deal with the fact that Sand's lifestyle - both now and the one he projects for himself in the future - is going to be really difficult for Ray, and that maybe the most caring thing Sand could do for Ray, at least right now, is let him go so that Ray can be in a healthier environment, at least during active rehab, and Ray needs to come to terms with that decision.

Meanwhile, I'm looking at my unbranded pair of actors, who've been given limited screentime for the audience to actually invest in them, who are difficult characters anyway - particularly Boston - who likely are the show's only chance at a pair not ending up together and are therefore almost by default the pair most likely to end up separately as a sacrifice on the altar of "realism," and who now have Boeing hanging over them in literally the last two minutes of the game. And I'm bracing myself. Boeing, diaboli ex machina, either literally out of nowhere, or as a complete surprise because we haven't been given any sense - throughout 11 episodes of Top's childhood fire trauma and Mew's moms' cafe and Sand's numerous side hustles and Ray's taste in music - that there's any preexisting connection between Boston and Boeing, unlike with Top or Sand and their triangle drama that's been repeatedly mentioned. And maybe that's more storytelling device, Boston the enigma, Boston who we don't have access to metatextually the same way the people around him don't have access to him within the narrative, but as a viewer, it reaches a point where that's just frustrating and unfulfilling. And I'm only fan-wanking that it's an effect they're actually trying to achieve in the first place, giving them a benefit of the doubt, when it's maybe just as likely that they just haven't bothered to spend the time that they have with other characters.

So here we are, bottom of the ninth, and here comes Boeing, and I'm bracing myself.

And maybe feeling a little bit of anticipatory grief for what could have been.

#bostonnick #mark pakin #neo trai #only friends #only friends the series #how we feeling bostonnick nation?

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paper-gold-theories · 1 year

Text

The Villainous Timeline (Part 1): Flug & Miss Heed

Made this theory to calculate, breakdown and understand the Villainous Timeline. (I will be making 2 or 3 parts as ran out of space for photos.😅)

Part 2: Demencia and 5.0.5.

Part 3: SunBlast and Miss Heed

Alan mentioned on Instagram that:

"The Villainous timeline so far followed real life (as shown on Miss Heed and Penumbra's Instagram) but when the show airs, it’ll slow down and follow its own timeline as they wait for more episodes to release, but it’ll be similar to ours. As we know, all actual real events happened in Villainous and BH even had some influence over them, so I’m sure they’ll still follow ours but at a different pace."

So 3 points to note:

The Villainous Timeline Follows our Time line but at a different pace.

The timeline slows down when the show airs.

BH has some influence over real events happening.

This is confirmed here as when the show airs in 2021, in Episode 4, the date here (in red) is shown as 14 Jul 2021.

So Given the Ages and Timeline:

Flug is 26 yrs old in Aug 2019

So in Aug 2022 Flug is 29 yrs old. (until Aug 2023, when he becomes 30 yrs old)

Flug's Journal and Demecia's Diary came out on 21st Feb 2022

Flug said in his book “I have been working as the chief scientist of the Black Hat Organization for approximately 8-10 years.” [Google Translate]

Flug's P.E.A.C.E. files mentioned he has been working in Black Hat Organization since March 10, 2011.

21st Feb 2022 - 10 Mar 2011 = 10 years 11 months, 11 days.

So, Flug has been working in BlackHat Org years for 10 years (11 months, 11 days) - (Note: round up to 11 yrs for easier calculation)

29 yrs old - 11 years = 18 yrs old.

Based on the year in the photo of Flug’s Thesis in Episode 6, we can conclude that Flug's thesis started out and was finished on the Year 2005. If it was longer there would be a time range. (e.g. 2005 - 2006)

2022 - 2005 = 17 years

29 yrs - 17 years = 12 yrs old

If they follow Mexico School System, Black Hat Institution should either start in early July or late Aug.

So Flug started going to school either in Jul/Aug 2005

So Flug was 12 years old when he met Miss Heed and started going to Black Hat Institution. (So they started at middle school age)

This was probably the class photo taken on the 1st day of school.

It's shown he was celebrating Halloween so this picture should take place on the 31st Oct, so they've known each other around 2-3 months at this time.

According to this article, It takes around 2-6 months to write a thesis

So maybe Flug has to submit his thesis at the end of the year in Dec 2005 before Christmas, as there were no Christmas decorations (I think even if BlackHat hates Christmas, the Villains would probably celebrate Christmas in their own evil way)

So Miss Heed probably stole Flug's thesis in Nov-Dec 2005 and left to become a hero at the age of 12 yrs old.

So, Flug and Miss Heed knew each other for about 4-5 months.

According to Miss Heed's P.E.A.C.E. Files, she was 17 yrs old while the experiments were being conducted.

17 yrs old - 12 yrs old = 5 years.

So does that mean that Miss Heed was experimented on at P.E.A.C.E. when she was 12 years old, for 5 years before she got her powers at the age of 17 yrs old? (Unless something happened between the 5 yr gap.)

Also, According to her P.E.A.C.E. Files, she needed to train her powers, which might take a few months or immediately.

So this picture with Flug staring at the TV looking at Miss Heed, might be when he is 17 - 18 yrs old before he joined Black Hat Organization.

Conclusion:

-> Flug has been working in BHO for 10 yrs 11 months, 11 days, since he was 18 yrs old.

-> Flug and Miss Heed were 12 yrs old when they met each other for about 4-5 months.

-> Afterwards, in the same year Miss Heed left to become a hero and might have been experimented on for 5 years before she developed her powers at the age of 17 years old.

#villainous #villanos #dr flug #dr kenning flugslys #missheed #miss heed #cecilia amanda kelly #villainous theory #villainous headcanons #flug #black hat organization #black hat

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