#girl help i'm too invested in these characters
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currently thinking about girlfriendbf!geto
NO NO HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT he's literally my girlfriend
girlfriendbf!geto who's just as invested in the school gossip as you are, and the two of you are always well informed about everything that goes on.
"you'd never guess sugu, amelia from class three slept with her sisters ex."
"no way, isn't she literally pregnant??"
"crazy, i know."
"i heard that she slept with sarah's boyfriend too-"
girlfriendbf!geto who will happily allow you to paint his nails when you want to test the new colours.
girlfriendbf!geto whose favourite activity involves haircare, and loves to relax while you rake your fingers lazily across his scalp as you lather the shampoo.
girlfriendbf!geto who helps track your period and is mostly more prepared than you are.
"baby, your pads are in the top draw, tampons in the bottom. you need a hot waterbottle? painrelief?"
girlfriendbf!geto who walks around with about 3 of your scrunchies on his wrist and 2 hair ties for both you and him.
girlfriendbf!geto who brings YOUR lipglosses in HIS bag because he knows you forget often and complain about having chapped lips.
girlfriendbf!geto who responds to late night texts and picks up your late night calls because he loves you far too much.
"hey baby, what's up-"
"sugu! my favourite character just died in the show i was telling you about! my poor baby i'm sobbing-"
"love, it's two in the morning...."
girlfriendbf!geto who is literally one of the girls!
#♡. viascribbles#jjk x y/n#jjk x you#jujustu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x you#jjk fluff#jujutsu kaisen x reader#geto x you#geto headcanons#suguru geto#suguru x reader#geto x reader#geto x y/n#geto fluff#suguru x y/n#suguru x you
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here’s a thing you could try doing (if you want to) the Hazbin hotel gang with seraphim child reader who somehow appeared in hell after the ep 8 battle.
the gang now has to look and protect this child since others could use them for their own means with the power the kid has and for some reason they can’t go to heaven… almost like they have a purpose here in hell
A/N: This is probably going to get a part 2, I'm a little invested in where this could go! It's probably gonna get turned into a little series with a plot.
With a child seraphim i really don't see one knowing what hell even is yet. Sure, they would tell them about it, but definitely wouldn't know what it is. Or alcohol, or curse words or anything vulgar really. I hope you enjoy!
Character: General
Type: Fic (Nonromantic, Plot-centric,Hotel staff/residents with seraphim child!reader, General)
It was an honest mistake. You really hadn't meant to, but Emily and Sera were starting to argue again, something that had been happening often since that nice Charlie girl you had met at the zoo came and gone. So you had snuck away. You hated when they argued, they were your family. Family shouldn't fight, ever, you had decided early on.
Curious, you continue on towards the portal. You investigated, peering through to see a strange place bathed in red, you saw a broken building, something that reminded you of something one your brothers had shown you from the human world. War, you thought it was called. Something horrible that humans thought up to hurt each other.
You hated when people were hurt. You wanted to get closer and help anyone who might be hurt, even if your powers hadn't fully come in yet.
Then an idea came to your mind! You could ask your brothers to help! They would know exactly what to do! With this in mind, you attempted to return back through the portal, only to be pushed back by some invisible force.
Wait... What? Why wouldn't it let you back in?
Then it happened. You were still a young Seraphim, your wings weren't super strong yet, and as you peered down at the red place your wings gave out. Luckily, your brothers and sisters had trained you in case something like that happened! You were able to slow your descent, at least enough for it not to hurt when you finally landed.
So you started to make your way to the pretty, large building on the hill with a sign that read Hazbin Hotel. Though the building didn't seem quite finished yet, it was still really pretty. Odd, hadn't it just been all broken?
As you pushed your way in through the heavy doors, you saw three people over at a tall counter: A cat man with wings cleaning a really small glass, an angel, but she didn't have her wings out, and- Oh no! She seemed to have misplaced her halo, too! That wasn't good! And a pretty pink and white spider-man that was sipping on a pretty looking juice
The pretty spider-man looked over at you and did a spit-take, nearly choking on his juice.
"What the fuck is a kid doing here?" He exclaimed, gesturing at you, fuck? What kind of word was that? No one had taught it to you, and you couldn't remember any of your fellow Seraphim using such a word, either. This seemed to get the other two's attention as they turned to look at you, shocked expressions on their faces.
"What does 'fuck' mean?" You asked, head tilted in confusion looking between each of the strangers. The pretty spider-man looked like he was going to start laughing but the angel next to him hit him hard in the shoulder, only serving to confuse you more.
"Charlie!" Excited, you ran forward, using your wings to jump higher than you would have otherwise, right into her arms. The blonde non-angel caught you with ease.
The princess of hell's eyes widened looking up to find her companions looking just as confused and shocked as she felt.
This wasn't good, not one bit.
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin headcanons#hazbin imagine#charlie x reader#angel dust x reader#huskerdust#husk x reader#vaggie x reader#all of these are nonromantic/platonic#except for huskerdust
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- playing dangerous !
summary: Heesung doesn't hide his favoritism for his girl in the kpop industry.
pairing: manager!heeseung x idol!fem!reader
word/character count: 6K / 6297
warnings: grammatical errors, profanity, implied sex, obscenity, kpop, gg kpop, favoritism, affair between co-workers...
gender: little smut, fluff(?), funny(??)
author's notes: hihi my luvs!! I'm finally back. it's my first time writing something about enhypen and a little more raunchy, sooo I hope you like it! don't forget to give your feedback which is very important. xoxo 💋
It was a fact that Heeseung had a soft spot for you. From the day he saw you practicing in the rehearsal room, he certainly saw potential, charisma and beauty.
Your kpop group wasn't as acclaimed and recognized yet and that frustrated you. But things changed when you met Heeseung, he was a nice, young and extremely attractive guy - sinful thoughts ran through your mind making you dizzy - you saw how excited he was to be your new manager and help elevate your career.
Your dream was to be famous, the fame, the lust, the spotlight was your dream and Heeseung sure promised you all of that.
Things started to look better since you entered into an agreement with Heeseung, he was a great agent and manager. Album sales were up, views were growing, listeners on spotify were increasing and all of this was thanks to your manager Heeseung.
You were eternally grateful and happy for all your manager's work, he even increased your distribution lines on songs, invested in sponsors, in other words, you were the center of everything!
It was late at night when you had just come off another successful stage. You looked radiant, with rosy cheeks, hair on your forehead from dancing, and a breathtakingly flawless outfit.
The ecstasy was visible on your face as you entered your dressing room. Looking at yourself in the mirror, admiring every detail, so wrapped up in the countless compliments, you suddenly felt a pair of hands on your waist which made you jump in fright.
"Heeseung! You scared me!" you say with wide eyes and a hand on your heart.
"sorry my little kitten, I just came here to congratulate you." your stomach filled with butterflies at the nickname making you blush. Then immediately he pulled you closer to himself. In response, you wrapped your arms around his neck.
"you were amazing tonight, I'm so proud of you..." Heeseung whispered as he distributed several kisses with light bites on your neck, making you shiver with every touch.
"Heeseung... we.... can't....." it was almost a whisper. You tried to form coherent sentences, but Heeseung's kisses became hotter and hotter.
"why not? We've done it several times right here, remember?" he let out a nasal laugh after saying that, looking at your face with that seductive smile you couldn't resist. "or do you prefer my house?"
you paused for a moment and thought... your chest rising and falling because of the accelerated breathing. That's when you cracked a mischievous smile that made Heeseung smile too. "I get it, you really are a nasty girl." after saying that, he pulls you out of the dressing room and takes you to his car.
The ride was quiet and calm, you realized how attractive Heesung was tonight. The way he held the steering wheel and how his hair was slightly messy made you bite your lip trying to contain it.
Heeseung quickly noticed your behavior and brought one of his hands to your thigh and began to caress it slowly. He was teasing you, you knew him too well to know that kind of game.
When you finally arrived at his house, you quickly kissed him with all your strength and desperation.
He pinned you to the door and sunk his lips into yours, making your tongues roll together in sync. You gave a soft moan, which made Heeseung go crazy.
"i didn't know you were that needy." Heeseung said with a malicious smile on his face and with one of his eyebrows raised.
"shut up." You pursed your lips again and wrapped your legs around his waist.
Heesung held you and led you to your room, you had come here several times before and never seemed to change.
He laid you down on the bed gently with your lips still attached and pulled away for a moment, making you moan from the lack of contact.
"patience princess." he pulled off his shirt revealing the toned body you adored. It was quite a sight.
Moving closer to you, Heeseung began to distribute kisses on your thighs making you dizzy with pleasure.
"what? Cat got your tongue? Tell me what you want." a smug smile appeared on his lips.
"you..."
"hmm I don't think you've convinced me." he says pulling away leaving you frustrated and looking at your face that was almost closed.
"I want you, please. I want to feel you." you say under your breath making him smile in response.
He kissed you once again hovering above and lowered his lips on your neck leaving several bites. At this point you could only moan softly and try to keep your eyes open.
"you know how much I love this skirt on you, it's a shame we don't need it right now." with one action, he takes off your skirt throwing it in any corner on the floor.
You pull him into a desperate, passionate kiss, as his hands roam all over your body, squeezing and caressing.
He runs his thumb across your lips and caresses them, as you look up at him with the brightest eyes.
"you're a mess, princess." he says laughing as he stands mesmerized by you. In response, you gently kiss his thumb.
Suddenly, you both hear a low purr coming from the floor snapping you out of your trance.
"what...." you say confused.
It's then that a white ball of fur climbs onto the bed disturbing your moment.
"ownn it's just Yoon. I miss you my love." you say stroking and kissing Heeseung's cat several times, making him snort.
"okay okay, now we're at an important moment you know?" he retorts taking the cat off his lap and putting it away from you on the bed.
"i don't think she wants to see what her parents are about to do."
"what if she decides to watch?" he says to you in a teasing way while taking off your shirt.
"that would be pretty weird." you said a little out of breath because of Heeseung.
"I think she'll like that view." he says not stopping to look at you, specifically, your body that was only in your bra.
In response, you rolled your eyes and hit his shoulder playfully making him laugh.
"sorry, but you're always so hot, my star."
"oh my, what a corny nickname!" you say groaning in embarrassment making you both laugh.
"deep down you found it exciting."
"Heeseung if you don't shut your mouth I swear I'm going home."
"okay, I'm done!" he said in yielding, waving his hands in the air. "where were we? ah, yeah, the part where I take off all your clothes. Shit, you're so beautiful!"
"Heeseung focus!"
"right, sorry."
original by @lvmazzy , 2023
#enhypen ask open#ask open#enhypen fluff#enhypen x reader#enhypen smut#enhypen#enhypen imagines#kpop headcanons#kpop imagines#kpop smut#kpop fanfic#heeseung smut#heeseung#heeseung fluff#heeseung fanfic#lee heesung x reader#lee heeseung#lee heeseung fic#kpop fluff#idol!reader#heeseung x reader#heeseung x female reader#smut
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Is That How You Remember It? | Tommy Shelby x Reader
Request: yes by anonymous
Pairing: Tommy Shelby x reader
Summary: (Y/N) finds some discrepancies in the story of how they first met that Tommy tells their children…so she decides to give her own rendition of the story.
Warnings: tooth-rotting fluff and one (1) bad word
Word Count: 2671
A/N: I absolutely loved writing this request! It was so fun to cococt backstories for Tommy and his bride, but of course I didn’t do it alone. Thanks so much to @mrs-bellingham and this lovely anon who answered my call to help and gave me amazing ideas of how they first met! I couldn’t have written this story this well without you. Enjoy! :)
PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!
Comment/Message me if you’d like to be tagged in future stories similar to this one!
"What are we doing in here, eh?" Tommy asked his two daughters as he entered the front sitting room, where some of their toys were also stored.
"Daddy!" the two little girls exclaimed in unison, rising from the floor so that they could run over to him for a hug. Tommy crouched down as they stopped in front of him, giving each of them a hug.
"We're playing family!" Anna, the six year old answered, a beaming smile on her face.
"Yeah! And Anna let me be the mummy this time!" Josephine, the four year old, chimed in, her smile matching her sister's.
"I'm practicing taking turns," Anna said proudly and Tommy nodded, happy that his daughter was trying to do what he and (Y/N) had advised her to. Too many needless arguments had happened over who got to be the mummy of the family every time this game was played.
"Where is your mum?" Tommy asked then, knowing that at least one of the girls had to have known where (Y/N) was at.
"Mummy's upstairs with Theo," Josephine answered, mentioning their baby brother.
"She's trying to get him to sleep, and she said that we don't have to today because we're playing nicely," Anna informed him of what their mother had said.
"We're big girls now!" Josephine grinned.
"You most certainly are," Tommy nodded, smiling at his children.
"Can you come play with us, daddy?" Anna asked, showing him the best puppy dog pout that she could pull.
He thought about her proposal for a moment. There were surely piles of papers stacked upon his desk, waiting for him to read through. But he'd just gotten home for the office, where he'd spent the most of his morning and early afternoon working nonstop on things that needed to be completed. Work could wait, he decided...he needed to spend some time with his family.
"Daddy?" Josephine asked, the young child getting impatient with the waiting.
"I'll play with you," he nodded, answering both of the girls' questions, making them squeal in response before they each grabbed one of his hands and pulled him to where they'd been playing with their dolls.
Tommy sat on the floor with them, accepting the doll they offered and fell right into playing the game they'd been engaged in before he came home. The girls loved that he got so invested in the game, even making voices for the several dolls they'd handed him along the way. He was always all of the other characters that their two favorite dolls would meet.
They played and played, losing track of time before the girls started bickering with each other, fighting over who got to do what and be the hero of the story they were acting out. Those creative differences ended with the girls sitting on the couch with Tommy in the middle so that they could have some space from each other.
"Can you tell us a story, daddy?" Anna asked as she got comfortable tucked into her father's side.
"What story do you want?" he asked, his eyebrows raised as he looked down at her.
"Tell the story of how you met mumma!" Josephine exclaimed, a wide smile on her face.
"You want to hear that?" Tommy checked, looking between both of the girls, who were nodding their heads profusely. "Ok," he nodded, taking a deep breath as he got himself ready to recount how he met his lovely wife, (Y/N).
Both of the girls got comfortable, Josephine hugging onto one of the couch's pillows and Anna staying tucked into Tommy's side with her head resting on his bicep.
"I met your mum when I was going to eat dinner at a restaurant..." he started off, glancing between his daughters again to see that they were still interested in where the story was going to go.
"Were you there with anyone?" Anna interjected with a question.
"Yeah, was uncle Arthur with you?" Josephine followed with her own.
Tommy chuckled, knowing how this story was going to be told. The girls always seemed to turn certain storytimes into a mini question and answer session. He didn't mind it though...he always thought of it as them being intrigued in the story he was telling. "No, I was there by myself. I had wanted to get some food. But then I saw your mum before I could sit down at one of the empty tables. She was sitting by herself so I walked over to her and introduced myself to her..."
"Was it love at first sight?" Anna asked, a wide smile on her face.
"I'd say it was for me," Tommy admitted, not caring about sounding like a softy in front of his girls.
"That's so sweet, daddy!" Anna exclaimed, hugging onto his arm.
"Your mum was beautiful," Tommy laughed slightly to himself as he admitted it, "and she looked sad sitting by herself, so I slid into the empty chair and told her 'we'd better not let this dinner go to waste' after asking her what the problem was," he recounted more of the memory.
"And what did mummy say?" Josephine eagerly asked for more details.
"She told me that she was supposed to meet another boy, but that boy didn't show up and she was sad because of it."
"Well I'm happy that you're my daddy instead of that boy...he doesn't sound nice because he was mean to mummy," Anna stated, a scowl now present on her face.
"I'm happy that boy wasn't there either, because I wouldn't have met your mother had she not been sitting by herself," Tommy agreed with her daughter, his smile returning.
"Is that how you remember it?" (Y/N)'s voice came from the archway to the room, making the three sitting on the couch turn to see her leaning against the wall.
"Mummy!" Josephine exclaimed the second she noticed who was speaking, "mummy come sit over here! Daddy's telling us the story of how you met!"
Tommy swallowed as his eyes connected with his wife's. He could tell by the grin on her face that she wasn't going to let the recounting of his story stand as the first time they met.
"Daddy's telling you a story of how we met, but it wasn't the first time we met," (Y/N) stated as she walked over to where her family was sitting.
"What do you mean?" Anna asked, a perplexed expression present on her face as she watched her mum sit down on the chair situated next to the couch.
"The dinner was the second time your dad and I met," she explained, smiling as Josephine slid off of the couch and clambered up onto her lap. "I could tell you of the first time we met," she added, her smile turning into a mischievous grin.
"Love..." Tommy trailed off in a warning tone, raising his eyebrows as his eyes connected with hers. Seeing this only made (Y/N)'s grin grow, and he sighed at the sight of it, knowing that there was no changing her mind now.
"Tell us, mummy!" Anna exclaimed, excitement present in her voice as Josephine added her own agreement to her big sister's words.
(Y/N) sent Tommy a smug grin, one that he rolled his eyes at, before she began telling the story, "so when your daddy and I were younger, for one summer we both worked at the same, big property that had bunches of horses on it. While your daddy was out with the horses, I was helping the lady of the house with whatever she needed done..."
"Like how Miss Jane and Miss Bea help out here?" Anna chimed into the story with a curious question, mentioning the two, younger maids whose main jobs were to make sure that Arrow House was kept tidy.
"Yes, much like what they do," (Y/N) nodded before continuing with her story, "the man of the house used to allow his workers access to the stables so that they could ride the horses on certain evenings...he was a very kind man, one who many enjoyed working for..."
Tommy interjected into the story then with a snort, making (Y/N)'s eyes find him. She knew he was scoffing at her remembrance of their boss, but she saw nothing wrong in the man. Tommy, of course, had a different type of relationship with him, one that included him getting thrown off of the estate along with another worker before the summer was finished because he fought said worker due to him mistreating the horses. The girls wouldn't hear that part of the story as well.
"This night happened to be the first that I went to. Some of the other ladies who worked with me in the house got me to come out and join the other staff for the evening. It turns out they were using the horses to have impromptu races, and..."
"Daddy was one of the racers on the horses?" Josephine finished off her mother's sentence, looking up at (Y/N) with complete awe.
(Y/N) laughed softly at her daughter's eagerness to learn more before she nodded her head, "yes, dad was one of the riders."
"And that's how you met?" Anna asked, a similar awestruck expression on her face. She shared her father's love for horses, so to hear that the whimsical beasts were involved in her parents' meeting made her extremely excited.
"Yes..."
"And that's the end of the story, my loves," Tommy cut (Y/N) off before she could finish her sentence, starting to stand from the couch.
"Oh, not quite," (Y/N) said before he could get very far, her grin growing as she re-gained the attention of the children.
"What else happened, mummy?" Josephine asked for the details.
"Yeah, did daddy pull you onto the horse and you went for a ride together?" Anna jumped in with a question of her own, stars practically present in her eyes now.
"He didn't exactly pull me onto the horse..." (Y/N) trailed off, suppressing a giggle as she looked over to Tommy, who now had a deadpan expression on his face. She was now going to tell the part that he wished he could erase from time. "Your dad was racing one of the other workers and the race finished super closely. He stopped his horse right next to where I was standing and sent me a smile...I didn't know who he was, so I just smiled back at him, but I did think that he was cute..."
"Eww!!!" both of the girls exclaimed in unison at their mother's comment.
"Boys have cooties, mummy!" Anna exclaimed with a look of disgust present on her face.
"Yeah, but daddy doesn't have cooties, Anna...just boys that we don't know have cooties," Josephine jumped in, applying her four year old logic to the situation.
"You're absolutely right, Josie," Tommy agreed with his daughter, a proud grin on his face. What he'd been telling her was working. If he could get his way, she wouldn't be marrying until she was thirty...both of his girls wouldn't for that matter; they were his everything and he was going to protect them with his life. Them along with their mother and younger brother.
"Can you keep telling the story, mummy?" Anna asked, wanting to hear more of how her parents first met, "was daddy really nice to you?"
"Well he didn't exactly get the chance to talk to me..." (Y/N) trailed off again, stifling more giggles and glancing at Tommy before continuing, "his foot got stuck in the stirrup when he went to get off the horse and he fell right into the puddle of mud in front of me," she told the girls of their father's embarrassing moment, making them shriek with laughter.
"That's cause I was only used to riding bloody bareback until then," Tommy grumbled, a pout on his face.
"You got all covered in mud, daddy, didn't you?!" Anna excitedly asked, turning to look at Tommy for his input.
No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't hold his frown, and he tipped his head to each side as a smile formed on his face. He was truly buying time until he could cope with his bruised ego before facing the little girls’ teasing. "I wasn't that covered...your mum still knew who I was," he answered them, defending his pride.
"I had to ask someone who you were," (Y/N) admitted with a grin, enjoying the grilling that he was getting from his own two kids. Tommy shot her a playful glare, one that dissolved into a grin seconds later. Sure, it was embarrassing at the time, but looking back on it made him realize how funny the situation actually was. "But then you saved me the next time you saw me at the restaurant, and it was all history from there," she brought them back to the original story that Tommy had told them, her teasing grin softening into a fond smile.
"Mummy, that's such a cute story," Josephine said once the family's laughter had subsided. She had the most adorable look on her face, one that warmed (Y/N)'s heart immediately.
"It is, isn't it?" she agreed with her daughter before looking over at Tommy again.
—
Tommy was already in bed, reading over the day's newspaper, when (Y/N) entered the master bedroom from the attached bath. "Ready for bed?" he asked her, pulling the glasses off of the bridge of his nose as he admired her body that was now covered in a silk slip.
"I am," she nodded, sending him a smile as she moved to her side of the bed and pulled the covers back so that she could climb in under them.
Tommy set the newspaper and glasses down on his nightstand before he slid down lower on the bed.
"The girls really seemed to enjoy that story today," (Y/N) remarked as she scooted over to her husband's side.
Tommy allowed her to, slipping his arm underneath her so that he could pull her body closer to his. "They did," he agreed with her statement, thinking back to the excited looks on both of the girls' faces. Silence fell between them then as they settled in for sleep. "I won that fuckin' race," Tommy remarked out of nowhere, the sound of his voice making it apparent that that part of the story had been on his mind for some time.
(Y/N) sat up slightly on the bed so that she'd be able to see him. The second she looked at his face, her neutral expression cracked and she erupted into a fit of giggles. Tommy sent her a look that asked 'what's so funny?', which made her try to curtail her laughter so that she could answer him. "If telling yourself that'll help your ego, love, keep on with it," she said, patting him on the chest as her laughter kicked up again.
Tommy rolled his eyes at his wife's antics, shaking his head slightly as he let her have her moment. He couldn't help but smile as he watched her. Hearing that story reminded him of how unbelievably lucky he was to have stumbled upon her at the restaurant a few months after his embarrassing first attempt to get to know her. "I still got you in the end, didn't I?" he asked her, his words making her focus on him again.
"You did," she grinned, leaning in to kiss him.
"Then I've won more than that race had to offer," he mumbled against her lips before kissing them again. His words made her giggle, her laughter getting trapped as she continued kissing him.
They fell asleep with smiles on their faces that night, slipping into the bliss that surrounded both the memories of their first meeting, and the anticipation of making many more memories together.
Tagged: @mystcldydrms @the-anxious-youth @cloudofdisney @look-at-the-soul @elenavampire21 @mrsalwayswrite @julkaamazing @evita-shelby @lilyrachelcassidy @notyour-valentine @shelbydelrey @onlydeadcells @peakyswritings @just-a-blackhole @watercolorskyy @strayrockette @peakyduchesss @alexxavicry @captivatedbycillianmurphy @yummycastiel @dark-academia-slut @tommystargirl @stevie75 @lyarr24 @signorellisantichrist @zablife @anotherblinder @midnightmagpiemama @cillmequick @rangerelik @dandelionprints @letal-y-poetica @itscheybaby @gypsy-girl-08 @insanitybyanothername @depxiety @raincoffeeandfandoms @dragons-are-my-favorite @acewritesfics @forgottenpeakywriter @cljordan-imperium @areyenotfondofmelobster @little-diable @thomashelbyswife @iambored24601 @shaddixlife
MASTERLIST
#tommy shelby#tommy shelby x reader#tommy shelby x y/n#tommy shelby imagine#tommy shelby one shot#tommy shelby oneshot#tommy shelby fanfic#tommy shelby fanfiction#peaky blinders#peaky blinders x reader#peaky blinders x y/n#peaky blinders imagine#peaky blinders one shot#peaky blinders oneshot#peaky blinders fanfic#peaky blinders fanfiction#fanfiction#fanfic
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Light Shower (Yuta Okkotsu)
summary: your big brother butts into your sex life, and you both get more than you bargained for.
content: dead dove (do not eat), incest/stepcest (left unclear), big bro!yuta, afab fem!reader (no pronouns but referred to as girl, sister, ect.), inexperienced!reader, oral (m -> f), protected p -> v, squirting, fingering, possessive!yuta, pillow princess!reader, mentions of alcohol but reader is not drunk.
wc: 3.8k
a/n: HEED THE CONTENT WARNINGS !! I HAVE MADE SHIT SO FUCKING CLEAR !!! anyways, i've been working on this fic for months, and i'm so happy it's finally done ! this whole thing is dedicated to @princess-okkotsu for being nasty with me and lovely to me.
You had many reasons for moving in with your older brother for your last year of undergrad. You and Yuta hadn’t lived together since he was 16 and you were 13, separated for reasons you still didn’t understand. The only time he’d visited you and your parents after he moved out had been for your high school graduation. You’d missed him a lot, but you kept in close contact online and over the phone, texting constantly and calling a few times a week with video calls sprinkled in. Despite the physical distance, your brother had become your best friend. When you told him you were planning to attend university in Tokyo, he was elated, talking about how he couldn’t wait to show you around and how excited he was to see you more often. He had kept his word, taking you all around the city during your first few weeks in Tokyo, handing you a key to his apartment, and telling you you were welcome over any time, even if he wasn’t home. He took you out to breakfast every Sunday morning and invited you over to watch movies every Wednesday evening. Your relationship thrived with the new proximity.
Moving in with your brother would allow you to connect as siblings in a way you missed out on growing up. Yuta also lived closer to campus than you did, meaning you wouldn’t have to take the train. You liked your current roommates well enough, but they always had people over when you were studying and rarely cleaned their messes in the kitchen. Yuta was tidy and quiet. And finally, you were broke. Undergrad was expensive, the city was expensive, and grad school wouldn’t be cheap either. Yuta was willing to let you move in rent-free, declining your offer to at least pay utilities.
“I don’t need my baby sister’s money,” he’d said with a smile and finality that shut down any argument you tried to conjure.
You’d accepted the offer and moved in about a month ago. Living with Yuta was as easy as breathing. He was a courteous and generous roommate. He did his share of the chores and often offered to help you with your own. He brought you coffee and snacks while you studied. He carried the bags when the two of you went grocery shopping.
And he was fun. Almost every moment the two of you spent together was full of laughter. You and Yuta cooked dinner together every night you were both home, talking and joking about your days. You weren’t sure what Yuta did for work; he’d always been vague, but you figured it had something to do with the government. But you enjoyed his stories about his coworkers and their antics. And Yuta seemed just as invested in your stories about your friends and daily life. He asked questions and remembered names and offered advice.
The only thing you didn’t feel comfortable talking with your big brother about was your love life. Talking to Yuta about guys just felt like crossing an unspoken line. It’s not like much was going on in that aspect of your life anyway; you were too busy with school to seek out new people. Once in a while, one of your friends would set you up on a date with someone. You didn’t mind their meddling; you knew it came from a good place, and they were good judges of character. However, you had yet to hit it off with any of these match-ups. There just wasn’t that spark. So when your friend told you she’d met someone in her Econ class that would be perfect for you, you were a mix of skeptical and excited. After some persuading, you agreed to go out with Mr. Econ.
Now you stood in the entryway, checking yourself in the mirror a final time and looking through your purse to check that you had everything.
“Oh, are you going somewhere? I thought we were watching a movie tonight?” You turned to see your brother putting dishes in the sink.
“Oh, Yu, I’m so sorry. I totally forgot. I have a date tonight, so–”
“A date?” Yuta turned to face you with a raised brow, crossing his arms over his broad chest.
“Yeah, my friend set me up with a guy from her class. We’re going for drinks.”
“You’re meeting a man you’ve never met for drinks? And you didn’t think to tell me?”
“Yuta, please don’t pull the big brother act. I’m an ad–”
“It’s no act. I am your brother. It’s my job to look out for you.”
“My location is on. I’ll text you when I get there and am on my way home. Deal?”
“No.”
“What do you mean no? Yuta, you can’t ju–”
“I require a hug before I let you leave,” he said simply as a boyish grin spread over his lips. You fought your own smile as you walked into his open arms. You sighed as you felt his strong arms squeeze you tight.
“Be safe. Call me if you need me to come get you, yeah?” Yuta whispered in your ear, swaying you a bit as he spoke.
“I will, I promise,” you said as you detangled yourself from his arms. You returned your focus to the mirror, straightening your top before grabbing your keys.
“Wait. Do you need a condom?”
“W-what?”
“A condom. Let me go grab you one–”
“No!”
“What do you mean no? You can’t–”
“No–I mean, I already have some. Yuta, never say that word again,” you said as fire burned in your cheeks and ears.
“Condom.”
“I’m leaving.”
“I love you,” he called when you opened the door.
“Love you too.”
You were back home in a little over an hour. You couldn’t hold back your sigh as you reentered the apartment and removed your shoes. You didn’t hear the TV in the living room; Yuta must’ve forgone watching the movie by himself and went to his room. You felt a pang of guilt at that. You should’ve stayed home and watched a movie with your big brother instead of going out with an idiot business major who just wanted to fuck. You walked over to Yuta’s bedroom door and knocked.
“Yu, just letting you know I’m home,” you called out. You heard shuffling on the other side of the door, opening a few seconds later to reveal your shirtless brother. His brow was furrowed in concern as he looked down at you.
“You said you’d text when you were on your way back. It’s still early. Did something happen?”
“No, he was just an ass. I’m going to go take my make-up off. We can still watch that movie if you want.”
“What’d he do?” Yuta asked with a hardness in his voice that you’d never heard before. You turned to face him and were met with dark blue eyes boiling with fury. You were grateful to know that his rage wasn’t directed at you; the look on his face was bone-chilling.
“Nothing, we just had different definitions of the term ‘date.’”
“What does that mean?”
“He just wanted to fuck. I didn’t, so I left.”
“Oh, thank God. I don’t like the idea of you having sex,” he said with a relieved sigh.
“I’m a fucking adult, Yuta. I can have sex if I want to. Though lucky for you, sex sucks,” you said hotly, turning on your heel to leave. You loved him, but Yuta had a way of getting under your skin. Your retreat was halted by his hand grabbing yours. You turned to face him; a look of confusion splayed across his features again.
“Now, what do you mean by that?”
“Yu, I really don’t want to discuss my sex life with you. I’d actually rather die.”
“Hey, you can’t just drop that tidbit and not elaborate,” he said, maintaining his firm grip on your hand.
“Yuta…”
“I’m not going to judge you. You can tell me about anything, you know that,” Yuta said with soft eyes. He tugged lightly on your hand, guiding you into his room. He gestured for you to sit on the bed while he sat in his desk chair. You sat down, suddenly finding Yuta’s spotless bedroom floor captivating.
“What’s so bad about sex?” he asked gently. You knew that if you looked at him, he’d be making those puppy dog eyes that always had you spilling your guts to him.
“Me. I’m not good at it, so I don’t like it.”
“Not good?”
“I’ve never…y’know.”
“Never what?”
“I’ve never finished, okay?”
“You’ve never cum before?”
“I do when I’m by myself. I just can’t with other people for some reason. I’m fucking broken. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go die in a hole.”
“Do not be embarrassed,” Yuta said firmly as he stood and crossed the room to kneel before you. He took your chin in his hand and guided you to look him in the eye.
“You are not broken. There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s not your fault if you’ve only been with partners who don’t know how to satisfy you.”
Something in Yuta’s reassuring tone forced the damn to break. Tears spilled from your eyes as you fought back the lump in your throat. A sob racked your body as Yuta joined you on the bed and wrapped you in his arms before he lifted you into his lap. He rubbed slow circles on your back as you cried and placed a kiss on your hair.
After a few minutes, your tears subsided enough for you to speak.
“I’m sorry, Yuta, this isn’t your problem,”
“Don’t be sorry, sweetie. You’re hurting, and that is my problem.”
“There’s nothing you can do about it, though.”
“Who said that?”
“What?” you asked, raising your head to look at your brother.
“I can help you.”
“How?”
“I can make you cum.” Yuta said with the same smile and finality he had when he convinced you to move in with him.
“No, you can’t. You’re my brother, Yuta.”
“And it’s my job as your brother to take care of you. Let me help you. Let me show you how sex is supposed to be.”
“It’s not right, Yu. We can’t.”
“Just once. No one will know. I want you to know what it’s like to feel good. You deserve to feel good.”
“...Just once?”
“Yeah, only tonight.”
“I trust you, Yuta,” you said, meeting his eyes of your own accord.
Yuta’s kiss was so gentle it almost brought tears back to your eyes. His lips slotted against yours with hesitance, like he expected that at any moment, you would bolt from his lap, out the door, and out of his life forever. But you knew you wouldn’t. You couldn’t deny how handsome your big brother was, how you adored his deep blue eyes and full lips, how enamored you were with his size, his large hands and broad shoulders. You couldn’t deny how much you wanted him right now. You deepened the kiss, grazing your tongue over his lips, coaxing him to let you in. He opened up to you, allowing you to explore his mouth.
Yuta shifted you in his lap so that you were straddling him, large hands gripping your waist. You grinded down on him as you laced your fingers through his dark hair. You pulled gently, eliciting a soft moan from the man below you.
“Fuck, I could kiss you all night, baby. You taste so good. But I gotta make you cum. Wanna taste you somewhere else,” Yuta whispered against your lips. You felt your core pulse at his words.
“Take this pretty dress off for me and lay down,” he ordered after giving your lips a final peck. You did as you were told, slowly unzipping your dress and letting it pool at your feet. You stepped out of the fabric and climbed back onto the bed, resting your head on the pillows.
Yuta joined you on the bed, settling at your feet. He took hold of both of your ankles and gently pulled them apart, spreading your legs. You could see the desire burning in his eyes as they made contact with the crotch of your panties. Your face heated as you imagined the growing wet spot forming there. Before you could close your legs out of embarrassment, Yuta moved forward to brush his fingers over your clothed cunt.
“You’ve been torturing me, baby, parading around in these cute little panties. Been haunting my dreams with them. Gonna let me take ‘em off, let me see your pretty pussy?” He asked, almost begging. You nodded your consent, and Yuta placed a kiss on your covered clit before pulling your damp panties off. He stifled a moan at the sight of strings of slick clinging to the fabric as he delicately removed the garment.
“Beautiful,” he whispered, breath fanning over your now-bared pussy. You watched as he tucked your panties in his pocket, and you felt your face warm even more at his actions. You gasped as you felt Yuta’s warm mouth wrap around your clit. He sucked gently before circling it with his tongue.
“Yuuuutaaaa,” you moaned at the unfamiliar yet extremely pleasant sensation.
“Has anyone ever done this for you before baby?” he asked, voice thick with lust.
“N-no, no one,” you admitted, eager to feel his lips on you again.
“Good. Such a good girl, saving the first taste of this pussy for your big brother. So fucking sweet, baby,” he praised before diving back into your cunt. He lapped at your slit, collecting your slick on his tongue. You whined at the feeling and the lewd sounds his mouth on your pussy produced. His tongue moved back to your clit, swirling around it before latching his lips around it. His fingers found their way to your slit, sliding one inside as he continued to suck your clit. He moaned at the tightness of your heat around his finger. It was hard for him to believe that anyone or anything had breached your walls before this moment based on the vice grip they had around him.
He worked his finger in and out of your heat steadily as he continued to suck and lick at your clit, relishing in the sounds of your moans and whines. After a minute or so, Yuta slipped another finger inside you, smiling against your clit at the mewl you let out at the addition.
“Shh, it’s okay, baby. I’ve gotta prep you for me, okay? Gotta get you ready so you feel good, alright?” He cooed from between your legs. You nodded in understanding, desire pooling at your core. You heard Yuta tsk from his position below you.
“Need you to use your words, pretty girl. You gotta use your voice for me.”
“O-okay. Wanna feel good, please, don’t stop!”
“That’s my girl. I’m gonna give you another finger, m’kay? You’re doing so well, pretty,” Yuta encouraged as he added a third finger, mouth returning to your clit with vigor. He was now determined for you to cum, to show you everything that you’d been missing. Everything he could give you. He fucked his fingers into you at a steady but deliberate pace. His mouth latched onto your clit, suckling firmly, using your moans and whines as a guide to how to pleasure you, how to pull more sounds from you, how to fill your brain with thoughts of him, him, and nothing else.
“Yuta, Yuta! Cumming!” you squealed out, toes curling and back arching off the bed at the sensation of your orgasm beginning to roll over you. Yuta doubled his efforts, rolling his tongue over your clit as his fingers picked up the pace. One deep thrust of his fingers led to you practically screaming as you squirted all over your big brother’s face. Yuta couldn’t help his beaming smile as he removed himself from between your thighs as you finally settled from your high.
“I am so sorry! I-I’ve never done that before. Please don’t be mad!” You begged as you took in his damp lips and chin.
“Mad? Baby, why would I be mad? That was so fucking hot. Wanna make you do it again. Come here, give me a kiss. Want you to taste yourself, yeah?” You obliged, rising from the bed to meet your brother halfway. Your lips slotted against his and you marveled at the taste of yourself. You opened up your mouth for Yuta’s tongue to explore, more of your flavor exploding on your tongue at the intrusion. After a moment of sloppy making out, he finally pulled back to smile at you.
“See how good you taste? Such a perfect girl.”
“Did I do good, Yuu?” you ask almost innocently, and Yuta wonders if you planned this, planned to seduce him tonight, planned you make his darkest, filthiest dreams come true. There was no way you were this perfect, this pure and trusting all for him. But looking in your eyes he could see the sincerity, the self-doubt, the need for approval. It made his already hard cock throb with need.
You let out a yelp as Yuta practically tackled you to the bed, pinning you down with his legs on either side of yours and his arms forming a cage around your head. His face hovered over yours, an indiscernible look of intensity in his eyes.
“You did perfect, sweetheart. Fuck, feel that baby? That’s what you do to me,” he said as his hips bucked against yours, grinding his bulge against your soaked core. You moaned as he continued to hump against you like a teenager, bringing your legs to wrap around his hips in an attempt to bring him closer. After several moments, he pulled away, untangling your legs from around his waist.
“Think you’re ready, sweetheart? Wanna give you my cock, want you to cum on it. Think you can?”
“Wanna try, Yuu, need your cock so bad,” you confessed, longing for the feeling and heat of him against you again. You heard him swear as he reached for the waistband of his sweats, yanking them down with his boxers. He quickly pulled them off, abandoning them on the floor with your dress. You let out a gasp when you finally saw his bare cock. It was the biggest you had ever seen in person, and it was so pretty it made your mouth water.
“A-are you sure it’s gonna fit?” you asked hesitantly.
“We’ll make it, yeah? You’re a big girl, you can take it,” he said reassuringly as he took his cock into his hand, stroking it slowly. You couldn’t tear your eyes away from the motion, drool pooling in your mouth at the sight. Yuta approached you again, framing your body with his own.
“Where’s that condom you were talking about?”
“Purse.”
“That’s too far,” he said resolutely, reaching over to his nightstand and opening the drawer. He pulled out a square of gold foil and brought it to his mouth before slamming the drawer closed. You watched as he ripped the packet open with his teeth, catching the rubber in his open palm. He spit the wrapper out, and you watched as it fluttered towards the floor. Yuta rocked back onto his heels, sheathing his cock in the condom before returning to cage your body with his.
“I’m gonna put it in now, okay?” he asked as he lined himself up with your slit.
“Yeah, ‘m ready,” you said, feeling the head of his cock press against your opening.
Slowly, Yuta sank into your heat, moaning at the tightness that enveloped him. You whined along with him, the stretch of him burning beautifully as he filled you. You’d never felt so full, so complete. After what felt like ages, he finally bottomed out inside you.
He remained still, giving you time to adjust to the fullness, but you soon grew impatient, rocking your hips down.
“You can move Yuu, want you to.”
That was all the encouragement he needed to begin thrusting into you. Shallow at first, before pulling further out only to fuck into you even deeper. Yuta was perfect, fucking you deep and steady, using his free hand to toy with the nipple that wasn’t in his mouth. You were quickly overstimulated by the feeling of his mouth, cock, and fingers. All you could do was whine combinations of your brother’s name and curses as he fucked you into the mattress.
“You take my cock so fucking well, baby. I was born for you, this dick was made just for you,” he growled against your chest, punctuating his point with a especially deep thrust.
“Love your cock, Yuta! Feels so good!”
“Fuck yeah baby, ready to cum f’me?”
“Yes, yes, wanna cum!” you proclaimed as you felt his hand move from your nipple to your clit. He began rubbing tight circles around the bud as his hips moved relentlessly against yours. He pulled his lips off your nipple with a pop, moving up to kiss your hungry lips.
“Such a good girl for me, such a perfect little sister, letting your big brother fuck your tight little pussy. Gonna let me do it again yeah? Not gonna be satisfied after one time, are you?” He whispered against your lips.
“No, want this all the time, feels so good Yuta! Never stop, ‘m so close, so close!”
“Come on, you can do it. Squirt all over your big brother’s cock baby! Make a mess, make a fucking mess all over me!” he urged, rubbing your clit faster as his thrusts gained speed. His dirty mouth sent you over the edge, the tight band of pleasure in the pit of your tummy snapping. You gushed on Yuta’s cock with a shriek, eyes seeing white as you came. You could barely hear his chants of “Good girl!” as he chased his own high. His hips stuttered and jerked as you milked him, finally stilling as he released his load into the piece of latex that separated you two.
He lowered his damp forehead to rest against yours and the two of you caught your breath. After a few minutes, he pulled out and rolled from on top of you to lay beside you, wrapping you in his strong arms. You cuddled into them without a second thought, relishing in his warmth and protection. You both remained silent the whole time until you felt him take a deep breath.
“Do you…do you regret what we just did?” Yuta asked in a small voice.
“...No. Not even a little bit.”
“Thank god. We don’t have to do it again, I just wanted to make sure th–”
“What if I want to?”
“Huh?”
“What if I want to do it again?” you asked, adjusting so that you could look into his eyes.
“Then you’re gonna have to stop going on dates with shitty men.”
“Done. You’re the only man I need.”
© PU-RE-LOVE 2023. DO NOT COPY, REPOST, SHARE, TRANSLATE, REUPLOAD, OR CLAIM MY WORKS AS YOUR OWN ON ANY OTHER SITE.
#🩵: writing#jjk x reader#jjk smut#yuta okkotsu x reader#okkotsu yuta x reader#angelshubnetwork#ghostqueues#yuuta okkotsu x reader#okkotsu yuuta x reader#okkotsu yuta#yuta okkotsu#yuuta okkotsu#okkotsu yuuta#🩵: yuta
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I'll be back for you
Pairing: Aleksander Morozova/General Kirigan/The Darkling x reader, Kaz Brekker x reader
Summary: The Moon Summoner ran away with Alina from the Little Palace with the help of Kaz Brekker's crows. The group successfully escaped from Darkling's hands, but that doesn't mean he will forget about his Y/N. He's going to chase her until she is in his arms again. However, Mr. Brekker did not let his childhood friend disappear without a trace from his life again. He will protect her. For all costs. After all, she was his newest investment.
Warning(s): Darkling, Kaz fights haphephobia (but not as severe for him ), reader argues with Baghra, reader has internal moral conflict, curses, fights, and their red aftermath,
I used a quote from TVD and The Invisible Life of Addie Laurie because… they fit and I love them veeery much
It's my first one-shot for both Darkling and Kaz, so please be gentle (I'm very nervous and excited at the same time to publish it) <3
Word count: 14k (too long, someone should take me away from the keyboard in the middle of this)
~•♤♤♤•~ Part 2 (end) ~•♤♤♤•~
Every night since you escaped with Alina and Genya with the help of your childhood friend Kaz and his crows from Ravka, you've been haunted by nightmares. No. Not the usual horrible flashbacks of your past in Ketterdam or the Little Palace.
HE visited you.
The Darkling. The Black Heretic. The man who promised to keep your heart safe and broke it in two along with your trust.
Genya has a right to warn you about powerful men. But you, the lost girl kidnapped by slave hunters from Ketterdam, the girl who has nothing to lose and was happy enough to somehow end up in the general's tent and find out about being one of the most powerful Grisha, didn't want to listen to her.
You foolishly believed that you, of all people, were able to charm the most dangerous man in all Ravka with your beauty, character and mind.
You believed that sweet words, longing glances and tender moments between you were real, that they meant something.
But it was all just a game. A game that brought him your affection and blind trust. And Kirigan, Darkling, or Alexander played in it like mastermind.
You should have listened to Genya. At least those damn dark eyes wouldn't haunt you every time you closed yours.
With the taste in men you have, you should have predicted that the first guy you hooked up with would be a psychopath. Fate could only be a little bit more favorable to you and not connect you to the hundreds-year-old black heretic who created the fold.
You've always had a weakness for villains and gray characters.
Your first teenage crush only proved it.
Because who else but you would fall in love with a bastard boy from the barrel who started his criminal career with the Dregs, who couldn't stand the touch of other people, and who wanted nothing more in his life than revenge on Pekka Rollins?
If I survive this shit, I really should find someone normal to be with.
You thought before you somehow managed to fall asleep for the first time in a month, hoping that your bond with the Darkling would weaken for those few hours when you tried to find peace.
~•♤♤♤•~
It was pure darkness around you. Not that one when all the lights went out and it's only you and your bed. No. They felt too familiar for you to confuse them with anything else. Those were his shadows.
He must have been near, playing with you as he always had.
You carefully took one step forward. The shadows parted in front of you, so you could see the ground. You bent down to your boot and pulled out a dagger, hiding it behind the sleeve of your blouse. You had to be ready for anything. Even if it meant fighting the shadow lord himself in your own subconscious. You sighed, stepping uncertainly into the darkness.
Your eyes quickly adjusted to the place around you, allowing you to move faster along the path. You recognized this bloody spot. The path in the woods you raced down when he took you for your first ride. Then he dragged you to HIS fountain, telling you nonsense about how it's only here among other Grishas that you discover your true self. He was already weaving his manipulative web around you, and you fell into it like an oblivious fly.
The snap of a twig stopped you. You looked around, not seeing anything at all except for the fountain in the distance. You flinched as his shadows gently pushed you forward.
"I'm not going to play another of your games, General!" you screamed as you spun around, walking forward. If he was already disturbing you, at least he might have had the honor to step out of the shadows.
"Call me Aleksander…"
You shivered as you felt his soft whisper against your neck. You spun, summoning your light and shooting into the space behind you. Unfortunately, it didn't encounter any Black Heretics on its way.
You huffed angrily, continuing your walk until you reached the fountain.
It was different than when he brought you here last time. The engravings have changed. They no longer told the story of the Black Heretic who created the fold. They were of you and Aleksander. Slowly falling in love.
"The union of darkness and his light." you felt your body tremble as the fabric of his kefta brushed your hand.
"I would never have taken you for such a sentimental fool." you turned to face him, taking a step back to increase the distance between you. With a very smug smirk, you noticed that he had dark circles under his eyes. Good. At least the son of a bitch suffers as much as you do. "Especially not after what Baghra had told me."
"My mother has the amazingly irritating gift of ruining my plans. She also doesn't like the people I care about much."
"Hmm… what a pity. Maybe if you weren't planning to use us as weapons in your plans, I'd care more. Also, don't try to tell me that there are people in this world who are more important to you than yourself. We both know I'm not going to fall for it again."
"I understand your resentment." you laughed, shaking your head in disbelief as you turned your gaze back to the fountain. "What's so funny?" you relished every irritated word directed at you. Maybe you couldn't seriously hurt him physically, but at least you could be a pain in his ass.
"I just forgot how easy it is for you to choose words that both tell the truth and work in your favor. Please, continue. I didn't truly laugh for a very long time."
"You're making a mistake." he stood next to you, grabbing your arm to turn you toward him.
You yanked your arm out of his grip as soon as your powers met in that familiar dance of dark and light. You both sighed, stunned by the sudden combination of your powers coursing through your veins. You opened your eyes, which you closed in the flow of the moment, meeting his tender, longing gaze. The man reached out to cup your cheek, but you pulled away from him before your skin had a chance to touch again.
"Funny. That's what I heard from your mother before she made me realize what shit I got into."
"One conversation with my mother, and you're ready to give it all up? Just because she was faster than me? Because she revealed a truth about me that she had no right to? What if I wanted to tell you right after I dealt with the group that wanted to attack you and Miss Starkov?" the grudge in his eyes only fueled your anger. He had no right to resent you for running away from him at the earliest opportunity when he had been hiding this important piece of his past for so long.
"What does it matter, general? None of it was real anyway." you growled, turning your back on him again so as not to reveal your hidden emotions to him. You didn't want him to know that you still cared. Indifference was a worse punishment for him than your wrath.
"So c'mon. Prove your point. Turn around, look me in the eyes, and tell me that you didn't feel anything towards me for even the slightest moment."
You wanted. You really did. To look directly into his soul-black eyes and say that he meant as much to you as the dust under your shoes. However, you both knew very well that it would be just a poor lie. And you both knew each other well enough to know when the other was lying.
"Just because my foolish heart longs for something, it doesn't mean I'll give in to its stupid desires. Wasn't you the one who told me that wanting makes us weak?"
"You should know I've changed my mind by now." the sound of leaves crunching under his boots was the only warning you got before you felt his presence behind you. "You. You are changing my mind."
"Don't tell me I have any influence over you. It's a poor play. You can do better, Kirigan."
"You and I may change the world, Y/N…" you flinched as you heard the exact same words he said here so many months ago. You turned to face him when you felt the coldness of one of his shadows wrapping around your leg. You pointed your dagger at the man standing only one, little step away from you. He didn't seem affected at all as you pointed the dagger at him. He didn't even look at it. His eyes were only on yours. "You may not see it now, too blinded by your righteous, but not entirely fair, anger at me, but deep down, you know that we are destined for greater things than others. You, me, and Alina together can be the strongest creatures in the world."
"You know very well that we never wanted to live like this. Neither of us."
"Do you? Alina maybe doesn't want to be the Saint, but you, Y/N?" you took a step back and another as the black heretic approached you with his every word. He stood in front of you, letting the dagger you were holding in your trembling hands touch his chest. He smiled almost mockingly, seeing that your weapon against him was exactly the same one he gave you on your birthday, provoking your anger again. To spite him, you summoned wispy beams of white light that began to radiate from your hand to chase away his shadows.
"You don't know what I want." you growled, pressing the dagger harder against his heart to remind him that you were in control here. He could sneak into your dreams, but at night you were the most powerful Grisha in this bloody world. And even he had to reckon with your power.
"Yet I still see a desire in your eyes." you shifted your gaze to him, watching him silently and with hostility as his face was illuminated only by your powers. You were disgusted to find that, despite his betrayal, he was still equally handsome to you. "Not only for me but also for my power. You, my little moonlight, you want to be just like me. Strong, powerful, and ageless." he raised his hand deftly, dodging your dagger, and, under your watchful gaze, brushed a strand of hair behind your ear, stroking your cheek as he did so. He took a step towards you, causing you to press the blade against his neck as he got close enough to whisper in your ear. "You can run as far as you want, but you don't run from the truth that's inside you. And when you finally understand what you really want, I'll be there for you, waiting with open arms for my saint moon."
"Have fun waiting for this day, Morozova." you whispered, not giving in to his piercing gaze.
"I am a very patient man, after a thousand years on this earth, you will be too, Y/L/N."
"I'm not you, Aleksander. I don't wanna live forever, and I'm not gonna. I won't see the only people I truly love and care about die before me. Even eternity and unimaginable power are not worth it."
"They're still people you love and who can share this fate with you. Who will live long enough to be with you forever." one of his shadows began to wrap around your hand, forcing you to remove the dagger from his neck.
He leaned closer to you and rested his forehead against yours. You sighed, shivering as the scent of his familiar perfume enveloped you after so many weeks apart. You were tempted to give in to him again. And that dark desire in your heart terrified you more than the capabilities of the Black Heretic caressing your cheek.
"This isn't love. It was just a game. We were just playing a game. The same one you created a long time ago to earn my trust. But I'm no longer that naive girl who is desperate for somebody's attention and love. You made me stronger, crueler, ruthless. And believe me, general, I'll repay you for all you have done."
"You don't believe that. You can't have believed my mother that I am your villain so easily." in other circumstances, where your heart wasn't beating for his, you'd probably laugh at the desperation in his voice. But now that every fiber of you longed for the man before you, there was only one thing you could do.
"Then tell me, Aleksander..." you leaned in to him, rubbing his nose with yours as he closed his eyes and waited for your lips to finally touch after weeks of craving your slightest touch. "Why was I so tempted to do this?" you dug into his tempting mouth, giving you both what you needed.
In your head, you explained this crime against your friends as wanting to do what was originally intended to be your primary goal. The gentle prolongation of your longing, amazing, desperate kiss before you plunged the dagger into his side without the slightest hesitation wasn't your fault at all. Aleksander moaned into your lips, pulling away from you as he felt blood trickle down his side.
"Leave me alone, or I will make myself your villain." you whispered into his mouth before you somehow managed to get yourself out of your "dream".
~•♤♤♤•~
"Y/N?" Alina's soft whisper wakes you up. You opened your eyes, feeling how your chest was burning for fresh air and your heart beating faster than it should. The woman was sitting next to you, holding your hand.
In the corner of your eye, you can see Nina standing in the doorway of the room Kaz graciously assigned to you after you arrived in Ketterdam. You can swear on saints that Inej was looking through your window before she went - probably going to tell Kaz about your fourth nightmare this week.
And it was only Tuesday.
You felt attacked from all sides. If not Inej through the window, then the madmen through the door or in your dreams.
"What are you doing here? It's well after midnight." you asked her, gratefully accepting a towel from Nina to wipe the sweat from your face. Alina and Genya lived far from the club, in motels on opposite sides of the city.
"Just in case someone betrays us. At least one of you will save yourself if the Darkling comes to these parts."
Brekker's brilliant and preventive mind had already terrified you before you stepped off the boat onto the familiar land of Ketterdam. The fact that he thought through and arranged your accommodation before anyone could ask him was either another display of his otherworldly mind or a blatant act of arrogance and overconfidence in his strength against the Darkling. But you knew Kaz too well to assume that he underestimated the power of the Black Heretic even for a moment.
"Nice to see you too. Kaz sent for me."
"Since when does the sun summoner do all the Dreg king's orders?" you asked, making Nina laugh.
"Since the moon summoner is constantly skipping her bedtime. You have to sleep. You can't always be on Jesper's special energetic drinks." she scolded you like a little child, to which you snorted indignantly.
"I will take a gorgeous, lovely, very long nap right after we kill Kirigan. Before then, nobody can make me do that. And tell Kaz I remembered him as braver the last time we saw each other on your way back to the motel."
"We are just worried about you, Y/N. You slept the whole night only once since we left."
"Don't tell me you're surprised. If you were me, you would do the same."
"Maybe. But we both know you're stronger than me. I know you can beat him, and even if you can't do this alone, which I doubt…" she wrapped her hand around yours, making you look into her eyes again. "You must know I will always be by your side, like you by mine. It's you and me against the darkness, Y/N."
"You know, you've spent way too much time on that boat with your toughts. You sound like an old uncle giving good advice or something."
"Speaking of advice, if I were you, I wouldn't insult the only person who can wake you up from… this." Nina waved her hand in a circle, pointing to the miserable state you were in.
"You should see Kirigan. I stabbed him." you replied with a self-satisfied smirk, watching the heartrender gasp in shock and Alina shake her head in disapproval.
"What have I told you about starting unnecessary arguments with him and maiming him?"
"That this is a good way to vent my anger and frustration?" you asked innocently with a huge smile.
Alina drew breath to argue with you, but a knock on the door distracted her. You glanced at Jesper, peering into your room, and wrinkled your nose at the light-burnt sheets you and Alina had left.
"The boss wants you, moon girl."
"Not only him." you murmured, pulling the remnants of the quilt from yourself. You took your clothes out of the closet and turned to the people in the room with your hands on your hips. "Are you leaving or staying for the show?" Alina mumbled a silent apology, blushing in embarrassment as she left, along with a laughing Jesper and an amused Nina.
You sighed as you stood in front of the mirror and brushed away the sweaty hair that was stuck to your face. Thanks to Inej and Kirigan, it looks like you'll have a long conversation with Kaz about your safety again. Your friend was sometimes a bigger pain in the ass than you—an achievement that wasn't granted by you to just anyone.
"I just fucking hope you're writhing in pain right now." you muttered to yourself, not believing for a moment in the sincerity of what you just said.
~•♤♤♤•~
"You wanted me." you entered the Dirtyhands' office without knocking, taking a place of honor on one of the two comfortable armchairs in the room. Kaz didn't look up from his papers, but the slight crease of irritation on his forehead told you he had noticed your presence. You were surprised that, after years of separation, you could still read him easily. "It's rude to ignore your guest."
"It's rude to come in without knocking." he replied to your provocation, tracing something he had just written. You snorted in amusement, seeing that you managed to distract him.
"Well, I didn't come here for no reason. You sent Jes for me."
"Jes?" a diminutive you used for his sharpshooter, has earned the man's attention. He gave you a questioning look, throwing the papers on his desk.
"What? Can't I make a friend other than you?"
"I'm your boss." he hummed, getting his cane up from his desk and walking to his dresser. You rolled your eyes as you watched the man's back. The son of a bitch knew perfectly well that you hated it when he didn't look at you during a conversation.
"Sure, if it helps you sleep, tell yourself what you want, Brekker."
"You live at my club, sleep here, eat with my crows, and waste my time taking some useless gossip from downstairs." he enumerated, turning over his things and searching persistently for something.
"And I'd been doing this for four years before you became Mr. Scary Dirtyhands from the Barrel. You just proved my point, Kazzle. We are friends."
You got up from your chair and stood next to him. You glanced at the contents of his drawer and frowned, noticing something familiar. You reached for a small silver box with his REAL initials on it, but the man slammed the drawer shut before you could get your hands on the find. You snorted indignantly as you noticed the smug smirk on his face as he nearly clipped your fingers for your meddling.
Kaz Brekker was sentimental enough to keep the ashtray you gave him.
You involuntarily remembered what you told him when you handed it to him.
"I know you don't smoke and don't celebrate your birthday, but I think that's a pretty nice metaphor and the closure you need."
"What? An old ashtray from the market? Which you probably swept from under the noses of some heavy smokers."
"No, genius, in case you haven't noticed, it has a special engraving. Read it."
"For K.R., let him rest in peace. What's that supposed to mean?"
"You can consider it what you want. A keepsake of your former self, a lost life you might have had, an urn for the ashes of your former self... we both know you're not the same man you used to be. And you have every right to be, Kaz. It's just... I think you deserve something commemorating your old self. The boy who stole half-rotten apples with me to survive. Now you are someone else—someone stronger, wiser, cunninger... but know that I will never forget Kaz, who was my only light when I was at my worst."
"That's pretty sentimental for you. Also, calling me light is not quite an appropriate metaphor." he replied coolly, returning to his book.
You nodded to him, saying goodbye. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw him stroke a silver object for a moment and put it in his pants pocket. You smiled. Apparently, you weren't the only sentimental fool in Ketterdam.
"Then, as my friend, you won't mind telling me about that strange connection between you and the Darkling that keeps you from sleeping without threatening to set my club on fire with your dazzling moonlight?" he asked, snapping you out of your flashback.
"No, because, as my friend, you won't be nosy, and out of politeness, you won't ask."
"I anticipated this reaction. That's why I got this." a velvet ring box magically appeared in his hands.
"Are you going to propose to me? Oh, Kazzie, you have no idea how long I've been waiting for this! You don't have to kneel, sweetheart. We can call Jes, and he'll do it for you. It's a perfect opportunity for him to practice before asking Wylan."
"Can you be serious for just one moment, please?" he asked, blushing slightly and trying to give you one of his famous menacing looks.
"Sorry, I couldn't resist. Besides, you could have foreseen in that plan of yours that I would never waste such an opportunity."
"Just open it." he sighed, tossing you the box. Too curious to find out what was inside, you decided to leave the poor boy alone and refrained from commenting further. You widened your eyes as you saw the real ring. "What? No enthusiastic and loud: "Yes, Kazzie, I'll marry you!", so my crows can tease me about it too? To be honest, I'm disappointed, Y/N."
"Well, I could have been joking about it when I didn't have a ridiculously beautiful ring in front of me. Sorry that I'm a little confused, Kaz."
"It's good you like it, but I'd rather know if it works as it should. Put it on your finger."
"As romantic as always." you murmured, trying on a silver ring with an opal and small diamonds around the stone. You raised your hand and, by using your power, increased the light reflected by the moon that was still in the sky so it could illuminate your new jewelry. "It's beautiful, but I have absolutely no idea what it is supposed to do."
"Protect you." you glanced back at Kaz, only to discover that he had been staring at you the entire time. The white sparkles in his eyes caused by your light captivated you more than the shining diamonds. You shook your head, remembering what happened the last time you gave in to your stupid crush.
"Protect me?"
"I've been doing some research with Alina and Nina about the bond between you and him, the amplifiers… we believe this will weaken the bond between you enough for you to sleep peacefully. He will not enter your mind uninvited." he said, spitting out the words about the Darkling like he was a plague. But you were more interested in something quite different from his open dislike of the Black Heretic.
"Why? Why are you getting through all of it for me? It's not your war to fight. You have no interest in it."
"I have. Since I got you out of the Little Palace, you've been my investment. And I protect everything I invest in and what's worth my time. No matter what."
"You do realize I won't bring you any profit? Alina would be a better choice than me." you questioned his choice. Kaz turned to the window, as if looking for Inej, whose arrival would interrupt this uncomfortable conversation.
Unfortunately for him, the saints had no watch over him. And one of them was waiting for him to gather his thoughts and answer her question. He had to do this without betraying the emotions that had been bubbling up inside him since he had first seen her at one of the Dreg's raids. He was lost the second he saw her and completely fated to love her after their first conversation.
But she couldn't know it.
She couldn't know that his heart was gone with her and that it took him ages to find himself after she disappeared. He promised himself to keep her away from him. To make sure he wouldn't fall for her beauty, mind, eyes, smile, and laugh like he had done as a child. But the second he saw her again, he knew that his heart was hers. Hers to keep, hold, break, play.
But she couldn't know it.... At least not now. Not when he had just snatched her from the Darkling's grasp.
Not when he wasn't ready to love her the way she should be loved.
"That's for me to evaluate and for you to make sure I won't regret this. Besides, I only invest in one-of-a-kind. I don't need more narcissistic saints to go into my office like it was their own." he said after a long silence, without taking his eyes off the window.
He was afraid that his eyes would betray the truth hidden in his stupid heart. He was grateful to all above that she wasn't a heartrender and couldn't feel his treacherous heart beating madly every time he looked at her. He just had to make sure Nina didn't reveal his little secret. He didn't know that the woman had been blackmailed into a similar case by the moon summoner.
"So I'm pretty lucky. I would die if I had to sleep on those inconvenient motel beds."
"Considering how much sleep you actually get, you're unlikely to notice a difference." you gasped, feigning indignation at the mischievous, amused tone of his voice.
"You're a cruel bastard, Kaz Brekker." he finally turned to you with a small smirk on his face. You giggled, only widening his smile.
"Go and check your ring. I hope you won't be threatened by any ugly faces."
"Yes, boss." you saluted, walking towards the door. You opened it and were about to leave when an idea popped into your head. You leaned against the door frame, looking at the man taking his place at the desk. "Kazzie?" you asked sweetly, biting your lip to keep from laughing too soon. The Bastard of the Barrel gave you a questioning look, fearing the familiar tone of your voice and the question coming. "As your fiancée, am I going to get half of your club?"
"Over my dead, cold body." he replied without a second of hesitation, perfectly prepared for such a provocation from your side.
"You know, you need to work on sharing if you plan to be husband material in the future. I feel sorry for your future spouse, unless it'll be your job."
"Go to sleep before I put you in bed myself."
"You should know better than to scare me with a good time, sweetheart!" you shouted back, leaving and pushing your way through the crowd of a few shocked Dregs who had probably heard the part about the fiancée and whom Kaz called to his office as soon as he saw them.
And as soon as he is done with them, Kaz will rip your legs out of your pretty ass. Even Alina and Nina will not be able to help you.
~•♤♤♤•~
The ring worked great. From that night on, you slept like a baby every day. The Darkling's face appeared only occasionally in your nightmares (both bloody ones and… more pleasant ones). But it wasn't REALLY him. Just a messed-up version of your sick imagination.
In the meantime, you trained with Alina and Nina (the woman needed the presence of other Grishas in Brekker's gang; besides, she was an amazing friend, and she also made wonderful waffles); you developed your powers; and you two gossiped with Genya, as she changed your looks every week so that no one would accidentally recognize you (by the way, you learned that David was heading this way to reunite with the love of his life).
You became close to Jes (you had the honor of being trained with HIS PISTOLS) and Inej, whose comforting company was invaluable (as well as the rooftop stealth lessons. Kaz cursed her after the first time you scared him by climbing through his office window and giving you a barrier. Of course you had your mind, and you didn't listen to him. Your unexpected visits to his office only became more frequent.)
So you could say that everything was on its way back to normality.
But it wasn't. Because one fine day, when the crows, Kaz, you, Alina, and Genya were eating breakfast at his club, someone showed up at your door.
Someone you didn't want to see more than the Darkling himself.
"What the fuck is she doing here, if I may culturally ask?" Alina gave you an apologetic look as Baghra walked casually into the crows' kitchen like she belonged here. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Kaz taking any sharp metal objects from the table that you might have used to attack the woman.
You and Baghra had a rough relationship. Due to the fact that you and Aleksander were something, the woman did not look at you very favorably. You had no intention of fawning over a woman who wanted to kill her own son, either. Maybe your feelings for the Darkling were... unclear, but you wouldn't wish anyone, not even your worst enemy, a mother who was willing to stand against her own child, to spurn him instead of doing... anything to help him out of his darkness. It was not in line with your moral views. But no one here seemed to care since they invited the mother of Satan to your table.
"It's nice to see you too, Y/N."
"I don't even have enough respect for you to lie to you and admit that seeing you didn't ruin my day. I will ask one last time..." you got up from the table, shielding Kaz and the crows as you summoned your power. "What are you doing here?"
"My son is looking for you all over the world, do you think I won't try to get to you first before he does?"
"Oh, you've already shown how much you care about outdoing Kirigan in reaching us. I'm asking you, what do you want from us?"
"I came here for you. Because of you, child." you stiffened slightly, wondering what else the old woman had to say. But you would die before admitting that Baghra's help would be invaluable to your little band of rebels. Your pride was both your greatest strength and weakness.
"Well, excuse me, but I have more important things to do than listen to some old lady's ravings. I haven't finished my breakfast yet, and I'm far too sober for another conversation about how everyone wants to use me as a weapon."
"Every day I'm less surprised by how you ended up with my son. You two are a perfect match for each other." she snapped, annoyed at your indifferent attitude.
"I'd suggest you get to the point. You were the one who wanted to meet with us. As our moon summoner mentioned, we don't have to listen to you. And trust me, I have absolutely no intention of stopping her when she wants to kick you out of my club." Kaz stood next to you, measuring the woman with a watchful gaze.
You were proud that he believed in your and Alina's powers and wasn't afraid to provoke the shadow summoner in your presence. You cast a fleeting glance at him, watching as Baghra gave him an appraising look.
"Mr. Breaker. It would be better for you and your club if work with the summoners of the sun and moon ended in Ravka. You have no idea what you're getting yourself into."
"I never make ill-considered decisions, and certainly not out of fear." he replied with his poker, business face.
"This is only a trait of the greatest winners or greatest losers."
"You don't have to worry about him. Mr. Brekker is always on the winning team." you answered for him, having had enough of this woman. Unfortunately, it looked like she wouldn't be leaving you so soon.
"Turn that light out, girl, before the Grishas swarm here. I won't hurt your boyfriend and his friends." you frowned as you heard Jes coughing in the background, trying not to laugh. With a wave of your hand, the white light around you vanished. You watched in displeasure as a smirk began to form on Baghra's lips.
"He is/I am not my/her boyfriend." together with Kaz, you both uttered these words as Baghra pushed past you. This caused you to turn to one another and exchange equally awkward, perplexed looks.
"Whatever, just get your lovebird butts over here." she murmured as she unfolded the map on the table and took a few items out of her bag. You snorted at seeing a small wooden statue of Aleksander.
It was going to be a long and tiring morning.
~•♤♤♤•~
"We have to hurry before your boy gets here. Good thing he is walking with the cane, at least it keeps him from sneaking up on us." Baghra growled at you. She'd only been here a week, and she'd already ruled everyone. You were no longer surprised at where Aleksander inherited his incredible self-confidence and arrogance.
"For the love of God, I'm telling you for the last time, KAZ IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND. Besides, if I were you, I wouldn't underestimate him. You could actually learn from him. You'll need a cane soon, too."
"Can you two just stop arguing for once and focus on the task at hand?" the sun summoner lingered, following you to the basement of the Crow Club.
"I'm sorry, Alina, that I'd rather banter with that witch than figure out how to seduce her son, lull his guard down, pluck the antlers of a wonderful steg out of his hand, and break the link between us once and for all."
"Start by undoing a few buttons on your blouse and letting your hair down; that should be enough for him to lose his mind." she advised you, making you and Alina shudder, both equally abashed.
"Seriously?" you asked mockingly, giving her a disgusted look. Nevertheless, you followed the woman's suggestion. "What is the next step? Shall I wear some nice underwear?"
"Not necessarily, but it would be nice to take off that ring. I doubt Aleksander would appreciate that someone other than himself gave you such gaudy jewelry." you snorted, taking off the only thing keeping the Darkling from crossing the walls of your mind.
You bypassed Baghra's outstretched hand and handed the ring to Alina. The older woman snorted indignantly at what you stuck your tongue out at. She didn't expect you to trust her with anything, even something as small as Kaz's ring, right?
"Done. What's next?"
"You need to make a connection. Every time he thinks of you or you think of him, you seek each other out and make a link. Imagine his face, voice, and silhouette; recall some memory associated with him; do anything to have him in front of your eyes. It should work and take you to where he is now. Just like when you two were getting into each other's dreams before Mr. Brekker gave you this ring."
"I did not seek him of my own free will. It just happened." you defended yourself, not wanting anyone to think you were looking for the Darkling like a lost puppy.
"You know him. He will continue to invade your thoughts and your life to convince you of the error of your ways and choices. This ring can work now, but what happens when you two get stronger in the future? It will stop working. You will be condemned to endure his pervasive presence. In the morning, afternoon, nights, and midnights. He won't let you go. Never. You cannot extract the stag from your own body. So you must find a way to block him permanently. Not by some magic ring."
You sighed, realizing she was right. You will be free of him only when any bond between you is gone. The only thing you were afraid of was that it existed between you and the Darkling long before you killed the stag...
Darkness and its light. Moon and shadow. Destined to be together. United at the end of the day.
"And what if I fail and he chokes me, stabs me, or just uses the cut on me?"
"We will observe the energy around you. If we see too many shadows or your light, we'll pull you out."
"All right. Let's get this over with." you sat down, leaning against the wall of the Crow Club basement, praying to all of Inej's mighty saints that your plan would work.
You closed your eyes, remembering the moment before your big performance at the winter fete.
You had to pretend that you didn't know Kaz, and then you had no idea what he was doing here wearing one of the soldiers uniforms. He promised to explain everything to you, but then Aleksander came.
"I'll take her from here." he said to Kaz, letting him know that he was no longer needed.
But he has not left you. Aleksander ignored him, examining your kefta carefully. It was beautiful. Genya decorated it with silver threads and embroidered stars and moons in different phases. However, the fact that probably delighted him the most was its black (but actually dark navy blue) color. But he didn't care about the true color of your kefta as long as it looked black to any other observer.
A clear signal that you were his moon.
"I have something for you." he whispered as he leaned closer to you so that your noses were practically touching. He pulled something shiny out of his sleeve. He held the silver chain up to your eye level so you could see the pendant. Moon with a star. You shifted your gaze from the shiny object to those mesmerizing black eyes staring at you in pure adoration. "I know you're practically festooned with these symbols, but I wanted you to know..." he interrupted, brushing your hair over one shoulder so he could place the necklace over your neck. He planted a quick, tender kiss on your nape as he clicked the silver jewelry. "That you're not just a Saint Y/N, summoner of the moon. You're mine moonlight in the worst darkness of mine. My hope and peace. The only light I let through my shadows."
You grabbed the pendant, noticing your initials carved into the back of the moon.
"It's beautiful." you turned in his arms to whisper in his ear, making him shiver as you kissed his earlobe. "Aleksander..."
~•♤♤♤•~
You opened your eyes.
A dim light illuminated Kirigan's war room.
You did it. Now all you had to do was seduce him. Piece of cake.
You let yourself watch him flick through some papers, wrinkling his nose and occasionally running a hand through his hair. The exact same one with the stag antler still stuck in it. You shook your head, remembering your task. You had to outsmart him. And in such a wise way that it didn't cross his mind that you might have bad intentions towards him.
"Aleksander." you whispered as you stepped out of the shadows. The man either really didn't notice you or he was a brilliant actor, judging by the pure shock that painted his face the moment he turned to meet your gaze. "You seem surprised to see me."
"I am." his mask of indifference and self-confidence quickly fell back into place. "But perhaps I shouldn't be. I should have known you'd prove to be an apt pupil. Not many can learn that trick." he placed the papers on the desk and leaned against it. "But after our last meeting, I had the impression that you didn't want to see me again. What changed your mind to seek me out?"
"I hate to say this, but I realized you were right."
"How so?" he began to watch you with interest, too curious to know what you were going to say to repay you for stabbing him last time. The fact that he didn't pounce on you with his shadows the moment he saw you gave you an odd sense of confidence. Maybe you could have made it.
"I was meant for more. And you were the first person to see me as I truly am. First to help me realize what I'm meant for. First to tech me how to use my power and how to see it as something more incredible than terrifying. First to see, I was more than a scared little girl. That I was powerful Grisha and I can do anything I want." with every word you said and every step you took towards him, you could see his mask crack open, revealing his true emotions. However, there was still a shadow of uncertainty and suspicion in his eyes. You had to remove it if you wanted to win this battle.
"Was I? And what about Alina? Or your helpful friends that take you away from Little Palace?" you hoped you didn't show that his words affected you. You were afraid that somehow he might have discovered a little help from Kaz and his crows.
"They… they don't understand the power growing within me. I thought that Alina might share my feelings, but … it seems to me that we understand our possibilities completely differently when it comes to our powers. And my friends… I think they're more afraid of what I can do than admire it as… as you did."
"That's not their fault. I did try to warn you. Tried to explain that with so much power that flows in our veins, usually comes fear from the side of our loved ones."
"I know. I think I'm starting to finally understand that now." you took one slow step towards him, feeling his watchful gaze on you. "There are no others like us, and they never will be. We are connected by our powers. Alina can live without us, but you and me… you and me are destined to work together and to stand by our sides. There is no darkness without light, but it's the moon that brings it into the night and that lives among the shadows, working with them… Like calls to like, right, Aleksander?"
In his eyes, you could see how much he wanted to believe you, how much he wanted the words you said to be true... but you knew that Aleksander lived too long to believe only empty words. He needed conclusive proof that you were on his side and that you were only his moon. And you had to convince him somehow.
"As I delighted as I am that you found your way to me, what do you want?"
"That thing that binds us. I think you fear it more than you actually care to admit."
"I fear everything there is to fear; it makes me strong. I understand things about power that you've had years yet to learn, moonlight."
"Well, as you said, with a good teacher, I'm a very apt pupil. But I think we both know… that it's not all about power, though, is it?" you walked the distance between you two and stood chest-to-chest with him. "What about the other bond we share? That one I was avoiding for too long." you slowly cup his cheek, making him close his eyes at the touch of your soft skin. You tenderly stroked one of his black scars on his cheek, which made the Black Heretic sighe in relief. "I want you, Aleksander." he opened his eyes, looking at you in disbelief when he tried to seek any sight of lies on your face. "And being in your presence terrifies me as much as making me feel… like I finally belonged somewhere. Like I was made by saints to be next to you. It felt... right in some crazy way."
"Love is for madmen, Y/N. And I've already told you…" you shivered as his cold fingertips touched the hot skin of your neck. His fingers went to the silver necklace—your only sin against your friends. He took the pendant in his hands and kissed it, not taking his eyes off yours. "You're my moonlight. Nothing has changed, and I doubt it ever will... for both of us."
You pulled him by the hair to connect your lips in a long-awaited kiss, too annoyed with how long you had to work him out. (Or too scared that his words are true.) You moaned as he bit your lips, and in one sweeping motion, he scooped you up off the floor and sat you on his desk.
He pulled away from you, dropping his kefta on the floor, and went back to kissing you as if you were the only one that mattered in this world. But the next amplifier's whereabouts map you laid on as he kissed your soul out of you was a glaring reminder that you could never have truly had him.
You would never be his first choice.
"Forgive me for stabbing you, then." you whispered into his mouth as you broke apart for a moment to catch your breath. He pressed into you more fervently than before, caressing your waist tenderly.
"I will have kissed these tempting, sweet lips, even if it means I'll get stabbed by you, every time I do it."
That was good to know, you thought, throwing your arms around his shoulders and slowly pulling out the dagger from your sleeve as he continued to kiss you greedily, like he wanted to sate himself with you while he still had you in his arms.
"Your words, not mine." you murmured, catching his mouth with yours while driving the dagger into his hand. He snarled, breaking away from you and trying in vain to yank the metal out of your hand. You tried to pry the last stag's bone out of him.
But suddenly, just as you were about to do it, you find yourself back in the basement of the Crows Club.
You were breathing fast, frantically looking around the room. Kaz was kneeling a step away from you and watching you worriedly as you tried to calm down.
From the cane that was on your leg and his firm grip on your arm, you figured out pretty quickly why you suddenly came back. You yanked your arm from his hand in your anger, forgetting his phobia of touch and how much of an achievement it was for him to hold your arm.
"What the hell, Brekker?! I had him! I could end this right there! UGH! Why did you let him break our connection?!" you screamed in frustration, looking resentfully at Alina and Baghra.
"You nearly blew yourself out with your power, and they couldn't bring you back."
"I had it under control, Kaz!"
"Oh, really?" he asked mockingly, struggling to his feet with the help of his cane and walking over to you with equal anger painted in his eyes. "Because it didn't look good from my point of view. You could have blown up the whole club..."
"Of course you would only care about your stupid, fucking club! Forgive me, Dirtyhands. Next time I'm going to save the damn world from the Darkling, I'll pick up a place other than one of your fucking bases!" you yelled at him, pushing past a shocked Alina and Baghra.
"Y/N, come back here!" he shouted after you. The distinctive sound of his cane told you he was following you.
"I'm not your fucking property, Brekker! I can go anywhere I want!" you screamed, running as fast and far for him as you could, thanking everyone above that Brekker wasn't able to catch up with you. You needed a moment to yourself. And you only knew one place in all of Ketterdam where you could be truly alone.
~•♤♤♤•~
For a long time, you hated harbour. It was a reminder of your weakness—a reminder of a girl who got kidnapped by slave hunters. Then you met Aleksander and became one of the strongest Grisha. From then harbour was for you to remind you of the birth of Saint Y/N. Moon summoner. It was funny for you to see how easy it is to get on the ship and go anywhere you want. Be anyone you want. But you don't have this choice anymore. Not until your past stops chasing you whenever you close your eyes.
"I knew you'd be here." Kaz's voice below you made you shiver, but you didn't grace him with your gaze. "You'd be too merciful to me by choosing an easily accessible spot, wouldn't you?" he grumbled as he clambered next to you on the crates of goods. He sighed as he managed to climb up. He tossed his cane, catching it spectacularly and resting it against the crate beneath you. He leaned forward, staring out at the harbour with you, when the wind blew his hair, messing up his always perfectly styled hairdo.
"Nobody made you follow me around, Kazzle." you murmured, casting a fleeting glance at him, grinning mischievously at how tired he was of climbing crates. Someone here was in bad shape. Brekker must sit with these plans and papers for too long.
"I did." you turned your head to meet his piercing gaze. "I already told you. I take care of my investments."
"Maybe you're making a mistake."
"I'm never mistaken. I know when and how much to invest in something valuable."
"But what if I'm a lost cause? What if you're wrong this time? Why do you think I'm done with the Darkling? Me and him have so much in common... what if I become like him? Are you not afraid? That one day, in my naiveté, I'd decide Kirigan was worth a second chance and betray you? That one day I'll stop controlling my power and that I'll hurt you? How can you sit here so calmly and..."
"Because I know you better than myself. I may not believe in saints, but I believe in you, Y/N. I will always believe in you."
You swallowed, looking down in embarrassment. You didn't deserve this.
"I get caught up in it sometimes. That I return with memories to the Little Palace. I wonder what I could have done differently to prevent all this. How could I reason with him, what could I do to dissuade him from his plans. How to behave, what to say out loud, and what to keep to yourself. And I'm furious with Baghra that, being his mother, she didn't fight for him to the end; she gave up before we could do ANYTHING for him together. And I curse myself every time I feel guilty, knowing that I left him utterly alone. So tell me, Kaz, knowing now all these doubts growing within me, do you still believe in me?"
The killing silence told you everything you wanted to know.
"Come on. Go right ahead, Kazzie. Call me a fool, an idiot who wants to believe that everyone deserves someone close, someone they can trust. Who stupidly believes in giving people a second chance." you said, afraid to look up to see the revulsion in the eyes of the only person you could always count on.
Kaz said your name, but you ignored him completely, feeling tears slowly welling up in your eyes. Suddenly you felt the cold steel crow's head of his cane under your chin. Brekker forced you to look into his eyes. And you thanked all the saints for the tenderness that was still present in them.
"You know, I don't think that about you. You are a Grisha. The moon summoner. The only beacon of hope in the darkness. I think that in your job description lies faith even in the most deprived, lost, and broken souls."
"I didn't know that poetic side of you, Brekker."
"I've changed since the last time you saw me."
"Really?" you asked, nodding at his gloves and cane. He caught your eye, gripping the crow's head tighter. "Hey. You have every right to do that, Kaz, okay? I was kidding, and I didn't know it was still a sensitive subject. I'm sorry. Apart from that, I can name more. For example, you still have a stick in your ass when it comes to pranks. It was too easy to get on your nerves with Jes." you said, trying to make a joke to lighten the atmosphere.
"Looking now at you, it's better for humanity that you haven't become a saint. Saints, protect some wretch who would have asked you for help." you smiled at him, glad he understood your intentions.
"Now, I feel hurt, Kazzie. Wouldn't you pray to me if they hung my holy image up here somewhere?" you asked, offended, putting your hand over your heart.
He knew he would spend hours, days, and weeks praying to her, only to see her face again and hear the voice of the Saint of his heart...
"No. No saint has ever watched over me. It wouldn't make sense to pray to you either. Especially since I knew you personally before you became a mighty Grisha."
"Well, I'm no saint yet, but since I'm your newest investment, I guess that means I'm supposed to serve you in some way. And since I'm not going to be your errand dog or spy crow, I guess a good compromise would be if I became your bodyguard. Then you can't say that there's no saint watching over you."
"I don't need a guardian angel."
"It's good then that I'm far from being an angel." you stared at each other, the wind blowing your hair, as you enjoyed the understanding between you and the unspoken acknowledgment of your closeness.
Kaz Brekker could not have a weakness. This city would use it against him very quickly. But he felt that perhaps his weakness could be powerful enough to be his greatest asset instead of his darkest burden. Maybe he didn't have to worry about her that much.
"Ketterdam was boring without you. It was also harder to work without your… skills." he said uncertainly, averting his gaze from your piercing, mesmerizing eyes.
"Is that your way to tell me you missed me?" you were teasing him and pushing his cane. He almost fell over when you broke his only support. You almost couldn't prevent yourself from laughing.
"We could have gained much more kruge if you had been here."
"I didn't want to leave." you whispered, involuntarily remembering the day they kidnapped you.
"I know." he leaned towards you, forcing you to look into his eyes. "You don't have to worry about them. I made sure they were six feet deep underground before you even set foot in Ketterdam." your heart warmed at the thought that he was chasing them for you.
He made sure you were 100% safe and comfortable before he brought you back home. Home. You didn't think you'd find him among the crows, thieves, and the Dreg Club. You didn't think you'd feel this way about him—one of the men whose lifestyle was far from normal and safe.
"You're getting soft in your old age, Brekker." you replied with a half smile, holding back unwanted tears. You weren't that weak girl anymore. You were Grisha. And thanks to the man sitting next to you, you were (almost) free. You grabbed his cane, right next to the crow's head, where Kaz's hands were. His gaze flicked to where your hands were so close together. He turned his head to meet your watery eyes. "Thank you, Kaz. For everything. It means a lot to me. Even if it was foolish to break into the Darkling's palace and kidnap us like sacks of potatoes."
"It was the perfect plan! Nobody noticed us." he was indignant, immediately defending his action.
"Yeah, but what I and Alina get hit with every time Jesper and you steer that wooden cart over rocks is ours. You could really choose a path that wasn't made of stones."
"Next time, it's up to you to make a plan to escape the 500-year-old shadow summoner. We'll see how you do." he snorted, offended, but didn't move an inch. Contrary. His hand moved closer to yours, wrapping precariously around yours on his cane.
"Less than a week back in Ketterdam, and you're already letting me into your plans? Aww, I love you too, Kazzie."
He would give all the kruge of this world to hear those words from you for the rest of his life... and it surprised him that he wasn't afraid to admit it to himself at all.
"And I almost forgot how annoying you can be."
"Don't worry. I have all the time in the world to shrink your inflated ego and remind you of that, boss." Kaz held his breath. He stared at you searchingly, trying to find in your face the answer to whatever question he was asking in his head. You unknowingly scooted closer to each other so that your shoulders rested against each other.
You were much closer to each other before. Kaz (on his good days) even felt comfortable hugging you for a while. After years apart, you thought it would take ages for him to get used to your presence again and the brief touch without going underwater with Jordi.
But you were here. Holding hands, leaning against each other, and staring into each other's eyes.
You shivered as you felt his breath against your cheek when he leaned a little closer to you, testing his border.
"You're shining." he whispered softly, hypnotized, afraid to break the silence between you.
"What?"
"Your eyes are shining." his trembling hand took your cheek as you were watching him speechless. Even in your wildest dreams, you wouldn't suppose he would hold you like that. He truly changed. He beat Pekka, and now the King of Ketterdam was fighting with his demons. You were so proud of him and also sad that you weren't with him at the beginning of his road to healing. "And the light is coming out of your skin. You're shining like a star for lost souls."
"You're not lost... not anymore." you whispered, your voice trembling, fully understanding what he had left unsaid.
"I was. But now the moonlight is lighting up Ketterdam's darkness again."
"Kaz... I..." you held your breath, staring at him in anticipation. You didn't know what for. All you knew was that taking your eyes off him for even a second was an unforgivable crime.
Your noses were almost touching, your lips were the closest you've known each other. And Kaz was as calm as if he'd never had a haphephobia. As if the situation with Jordi never happened. You were afraid his waters would finally rise, interrupting your moment, but as soon as your foreheads touched, all the logical thoughts in your head went to hell. It was just you and him.
And you would still enjoy that closeness if the sound of breaking glass and Jesper's curses hadn't driven you apart.
"Here you are! How the hell did you get in there?! Get down! We're leaving in half an hour!" Jesper shouted to you from below and disappeared as quickly as he appeared. You cleared your throat, realized what Jes said after a long moment.
"We are leaving?" you asked, surprised. Bastard didn't say a word about going anywhere.
"Yes. I'll explain everything to you on the ship." he gave you a brush-off as he began his downward journey.
"On the ship? Kaz, what have you planned?!" you shouted angry as you followed him.
~•♤♤♤•~
"This is the dumbest plan ever made, and believe me, I've been to more than one of his idiotic ideas." you said, pointing at the offended Kaz.
Your great friends (and Baghra) have decided to sneak into the Darkling's palace, steal his maps and war plans, and set the Little Palace on fire.
You started to doubt their good sanity... or sobriety.
"Sooner or later, we have to sneak in there. Aleksander has stolen from me all the books and records of our ancestors; he is in possession of immense power, and we can not allow him to make use of it." you clenched your fists, almost ready to pounce on the woman for revealing the Darkling's true name.
"Who is Aleksander?" you ignored Kaz's question, nervously twirling the ring he gave you on your finger.
"Was he able to steal something from YOU? And you let him do it? How surprised I am."
"What are you implying?"
"I implying that we are in some huge coach driven by your men, leaving Ketterdam on your initiative and entering the lion's mouth because you said so. In my place, you'd be suspicious too."
"The odds of me betraying you are as high as the odds that you will."
"And why is that?" you hissed, furious at how easily she got on your nerves.
"Aleksander has a knack for manipulating people. A few sweet words, and even your boyfriend won't be able to count on your devotion anymore."
"Watch your mouth. I'm not her boyfriend." Kaz growled, tensing up next to you, thereby stopping your quarrel. Baghra shrugged, continuing her quiet conversation with Alina. In your mind, you were planning the old lady's slow death until someone's hand grabbed yours in a strong grip.
You turned your head towards Kaz. He stared blankly out the window, completely ignoring your gaze. Instead, he started drawing circles on your palm, trying to calm you down somehow. You turned your head in the opposite direction, smiling to yourself at the tender gesture. Unbeknownst to you, Kaz had the same smirk as yours on his face.
The rest of the trip to the city was uneventful. As planned, Alina and you stayed in Baghra's secret stash while the rest went off to play heroes. Your job was to distract the Darkling, and Alina was supposed to watch over you.
You'd agree to their plan if your role wasn't just to stand by while others risked their lives trying to get the information you all needed.
But you decided not to argue with the others about it this time. After all, they couldn't control you once you got into the palace. You might as well have snooped around, looked for what you needed, and done most of the work for them. Closing your eyes and getting ready to connect with the Darkling, you only hoped that your little disobedience would go unnoticed.
~•♤♤♤•~
You just finished searching Kirigan's study, war room, and bedroom. You were on your way to the last room - the library, when you bumped into the one person you wanted to avoid.
You were paralysed as soon as you saw him walking down the hall. You hoped he wouldn't look in your direction, but the general (alert as always) glanced at you briefly before disappearing from your view. You had the faintest hope that he would think you were a vision, but all of it vanished when you felt a hand gently wrap around your neck and pin you against the wall.
"You either have too much free time or you enjoy haunting me at random times, little moon." you didn't answer, too scared that the moment he touched you, all your power took on a life of its own, merging with his shadows, as it usually does when your skins meet for the first time after a long separation. You were defenceless. Kirigan frowned, watching you with growing interest. "Speechless? Not any irritating responses? Do you fear me, Y/N?" his taunts brought you to your senses, forcing you to calm down immediately. You couldn't wait for Alina to be rescued. You had to fight him yourself.
"That's what you want, isn't it? To have everyone and everything under control, too scared to say or do anything against you."
"Fear is a powerful ally and also loyal."
"Not as loyal and lasting as love, trust, respect." you tried to break free from his grip, but all attempts to remove his hand from your neck proved futile. You were lucky that instead of tightening the grip and cutting off your air, he just wrapped his other arm around your waist, pulling you closer so that your faces were mere millimetres apart. "We could have had it, Aleksander. All of it. All you had to do was set me free and make me your equal."
"You'll come to feel it towards me someday. For now… even though I truly want to, I have no time for you, moonlight. Your friends are waiting for me. But don't get the wrong impression…" he leaned towards you, stroking your cheek tenderly as he whispered in your ear. "I will be back for you, my Y/N. Wherever you are hiding from me."
You shivered as he kissed your temple, making this terrifying promise to you. At some point, his shadows enveloped you completely and sent you back to the room where you and Alina were hiding.
And after one look at the sun summoner, you both knew what you had to do.
~•♤♤♤•~
You couldn't remember the last time you ran so fast in your entire life. It must have been back in your Ketterdam days, doing some little errands for the Dregs.
But this time, you weren't running to save your life. You ran to save Kaz Brekker's ass, who was the only one (not counting Inej, who was already hidden somewhere with Alina, waiting for you in harbour) who didn't return from his mission. As you expected, everything went to hell without you, and if you and Alina hadn't arrived, half of the crows (including Baghra) would have been captured by Aleksander's grishas. You wouldn't feel sorry for the old woman, but Alina insisted on saving her.
Jes, Wylan, Nina and Baghra searched other parts of the Little Palace, trying to burn everything in their path. You could still make it. If only Brekker hadn't gotten lost in the meantime. You knew you should go with him. You've always been a team player, and pairing you with Alina for this mission and leaving you behind was their worst idea.
You promised yourself that the next time you'd strap that risky idiot to your hip.
That's why you breathed a sigh of relief when you saw him at the end of the corridor. But instead of running up to him and yelling at him for his thoughtlessness, you hid in the shadows as he backed away slowly. Someone had to catch him. You caught his eye for a moment, glad he noticed you and started to head your way. Thanks to this, you could assassinate his attacker and try to escape from the palace.
Piece of cake. If he wasn't talking to a fucking Darkling.
"I know you kidnapped my moon summoner. Now you're going to tell me where you stashed her." you cursed internally, feeling yourself start to panic. You guys were officially screwed.
"We didn't take her. She fled on her own." you marvelled at how Kaz could still keep his composure with an angry Darkling a few feet in front of him. Sometimes you forget how mentally strong he was.
"I don't doubt in it… where is she? I won't ask you again."
"I don't know. I don't own her… but it's pretty clear she wasn't interested in being a captive anymore."
Aleksander got even angrier at the little insinuation that Kaz took better care of you, that he didn't treat you like an asset, unlike the general. You cursed Dirtyhands for wanting to mock and taunt the Darkling, even though you could see that he wasn't so confident around him.
"I heard about you. And your crows. It would be a shame if something happened to such a talented group." the Darkling summoned some of his shadows, causing Kaz to back away and reach for the light grenade that you and Wylan had prepared. "It's good for you that you have the decency to show signs of fear."
"I'm afraid of what I must."
"And yet you are not so defenceless." Kaz raised an inquiring eyebrow. "Don't make a fool of yourself, Mr. Brekker. I can feel my moon's power everywhere. Especially when it's imbedded so much into one small object."
You tensed, remembering that you had given Kaz the necklace before he left for the Little Palace. A necklace whose pendant you poured so much moonlight into that no shadows could surround him while wearing it or only holding it.
Defence against the Darkling. Specially prepared for situations like this. However, handing it to him, you hoped the two would never meet, growling at each other like two rabid dogs.
"Y/N must have strong feelings for you to give you some of her power. And you for her. Putting your people and yourself at risk, your profit, your club. In the name of what, Mr. Brekker?"
"If you did thorough research on me, you'd know that all of Ketterdam knows I don't need a reason to do things."
"You'll never fully appreciate what she really is. But that's alright. Because I do." Aleksander let Dirtyhands' insult pass over his ears, trying to annoy him that much, so he let his guard down. You knew very well that method, just like you knew that Kaz wasn't foolish to fall for it.
"You've right. I'll never use her as a weapon or treat her like a saint. That's not what she wants. You may understand her powers, but you have no idea who she really is. What's in her mind. What are her dreams and desires. All you care about is her power, which I don't give a damn if she has or not. You see her only as a moon summoner. Not Y/N. You don't know the woman she was before Grisha's thing. You will never know how amazing and indescribable she was before Ravka. This is part of her that only I was allowed to see. You can't change the fact that I know her better than you."
"You're forgetting one important fact. You are a child, and she is Grisha. Y/N may take years to forgive me… but I can wait. Take away my shadows, and I still have something you don't. Time. Meanwhile, you will grow old. Your hair will grey, but she will remain ageless. Like me. Not mention your little inconvenience. Do you think you'll be able to touch her for more than a few minutes before your body grows old? That you'll be able to give her the life she deserves? We both know that one day, maybe a year from now, maybe fifty, she will realise that she has only one equal. There are no others like us, and there never will be. Even you can't change that, Mr. Brekker." he gave him a hostile look, laughing mockingly as he noticed that Kaz continued to back up with each step the Darkling took towards him until he did not stand in front of your hiding place. "Don't worry. I'm not going to kill you. Time will do it for me." he summoned more of his shadows, wanting to scare him with his power. You three knew very well that with your necklace around his neck, no cut would kill him."You should have stayed in Ketterdam, Mr. Brekker."
At this point, you both decided to step in. Kaz threw his grenade, and you summoned your power, blinding the two of them. You grabbed Kaz's arm, and you both ran (as fast as his leg would allow). You stopped only a few corridors and stairs further, at the crossroads where you were all supposed to meet. Along the way, you avoided several fires that the tidemakers were busy with.
"What are you doing here?!" he growled furiously at you as you finally stopped, only making you more angry at his recklessness and attitude. He attacked and insulted the most powerful grisha. An 18-year-old with a cane and no powers.
"What am I doing here?! You tell me, what are you doing! You made him mad for no reason! You think now that he knows your identities, he'll let you go so easily? He will hunt you as long as he lives, just like me and Alina! Congratulations, Brekker!"
"I knew the risk." he replied angrily, looking around all four corridors.
"No, you didn't. You'd know a flimsy toy like that one, fucking grenade wouldn't be enough for him with all the amplifiers he's got."
"Well, I guess your little gift was strong enough to protect me. Which brings me to the question… why am I the only one blessed with this power from you?" he asked as he walked over to you, standing a few inches in front of you. You were both panting with quick anger, rage, and adrenaline, which was slowly draining from your systems.
"It's not your business, Brekker." you growled into his face and took a step, trying to avoid him, but his firm grip on your elbow stopped you.
You turned to face him, ready to yank your arm out of his grip and scream at him to fuck off, but all thoughts flew out of your head as soon as you looked into his mesmerising eyes, which were looking at you with concern and… love.
"It is my business." he leaned closer to you, just enough for you to feel his warmth and his scent, and far enough away not to touch you any more than he already did. "You... you're my most important business. And if something happens to you, if he catches you again..." he sighed, shaking his head, trying to find the right words as he licked his annoyed lips, unconsciously drawing your gaze to them and making you hold your breath for a moment, wanting something as forbidden and holy as kissing them. "I don't know how to... express my feelings. I don't know if I even understand them well enough. All I know is that I would rather die than see you enslaved and sorrowful... and it pains me to know that I'm too weak to protect you. That I'll always be too weak FOR YOU."
"You are literally everything but weak. In my eyes, you're the strongest person I know, Kaz. One of the very few to whom I would entrust my life in the blink of an eye."
"And yet I'm not enough for Grisha's love."
"How could you not be enough for something you already have?" Kaz's head snapped up as he watched you, befuddled in complete silence. You hesitantly reached for his hand, giving him enough time to pull away. He did not do. "And because I love you, I cannot be selfish with you. I cannot risk your life just because I have loved you since we were stupid teenagers." he squeezed your hand, too overwhelmed by his emotions to say anything. Fortunately, you understood him without any words.
Slowly, as if time had slowed down just for you two, he leaned towards you, resting his forehead against yours. You stood like that for a moment, enjoying the other's presence, forgetting that the palace was burning around you and probably 100 Grishas were chasing you.
"I will have you, Kaz Brekker. But only when it's safe for both of us." you promised him, whispering with your eyes still closed. "And for that to happen, I have to stay here. I have to make sure he doesn't go after you, that he will be distracted by me instead of planning your death.." you were about to extricate yourself from his grip, but the man only pulled you closer to him, not wanting to let you go.
"Please, don't. Stay with me. You're not a saint or a hero. You said it yourself. More than I could count."
"Kaz…" you took the ring off and put it on his little finger. "Keep it for me until I'm back. As a promise that whatever is going to happen next… I will be back for you." testing your luck, you placed a quick, tender kiss on his finger, feeling him tremble under your lips.
Before you got a chance to change your mind, you ran in the opposite direction, following the voice of the fighting Grishas.
You didn't turn around. You didn't steal a second glance at him, even though you knew he was watching you until you were out of sight. You knew the moment you looked into his eyes again, you'd change your mind.
You had to be strong.
For both of you. For your common future.
~•♤♤♤•~
When you regained consciousness, you weren't surprised that your hands had been handcuffed, so you couldn't use your powers. You were surprised to be greeted by the familiar sheets of Aleksander's comfortable bed.
And the Darkling himself was lying right next to you with his face towards you.
His eyes were closed, giving you a good look at the darker shadows under his eyes than before. Without knowing why, they disturbed you more than those lazily hovering around the bed. For a moment, you listened to his measured, calm breathing, which would probably confuse anyone else and give the illusory belief that the man next to you is sleeping. But you knew him much better than to fall for such a simple trick.
"I know how you breathe when you're sleeping, Aleksander."
"Maybe I was trying to fall asleep."
"Wearing a kefta? Doubtful." he opened one eye, staring at you silently. You felt your heart start beating faster from the nerves. You had no idea why you were here. Or at least you didn't want to admit it to yourself, so you decided to play the fool. "Are the dungeons undergoing some kind of refurbishment, or are they so full that you haven't found another place for me?"
He stared at you silently, deep in thought. He took his time to answer, playing with the strands of your hair that had escaped your bun from an earlier fight.
"It didn't seem like the right place for you" he finally whispered, making you even more suspicious.
"And where is my right place? After I stabbed you in the back so many times? In your bed? In your arms? As a weapon for your use? Where do you see me, Aleksander?"
"By my side. I've always seen you by my side." he answered at once, without a trace of hesitation in his voice. His shadow circled the room, caressing you from time to time. You didn't know if he was planning to let your guard down or if he had completely lost his mind.
"I don't understand. You should be mad at me. Why don't you hate me? Why are you still looking at me like... like you really have feelings for me? This is another one of your games, right? You want me to go completely crazy this time, don't you?"
"No, my little saint moon." he whispered, undaunted by your anger, gently cupping your chin so you had to look him in the eye. "All I ever wanted was someone equal to me. Why should I get mad at you when all you're doing is trying to find your way to me?"
"I don't…"
"Then why did you let them catch you? Don't try to lie to me, Y/N. I was there. I saw with my own eyes how you backed away from running away at the last moment. Why?"
"You know why." you whispered in a shaky voice. You closed your eyes, trying to protect yourself from the Black Heretic's penetrating gaze and show him the tears beginning to form in your eyes. "I have a million reasons why I should give you up, why I should hate you more than anyone else, but the truth is… my heart wants what it wants. And I don't think I can resist this anymore." you couldn't control your tears, but from the tender touch of his hand as he wiped them from your cheek and the clank of the handcuffs opening, you figured they were necessary for him to believe you.
"You have no idea how long…"
"No." you cut him off before he could say anything more." I have one question for you. Answer it right, and I'll forget about the last few months. Answer it right, and I promise you that you will never have to be alone again, that I'll always be by your side, along with your shadows and everything else that you truly are. That I will accept my destiny as being your moon. I won't let anyone scare me away from you ever again. I just… I need you to be completely honest with me. This one time." you cursed yourself at how weak your voice sounded when he grabbed your hand, kissing tenderly the places where the handcuffs were marked. "You don't have to tell me your whole plan; I just want to know… are all of these lies, battles, wars, deaths… just to keep the Grishas safe? You have no other intention behind this than to give our people home, where they don't have to be afraid of people who hate us and our powers?"
"I swear to you, my little moonstone, there is no other reason. I'm not a maniac drunk on power, as everybody tells you. I just want our people to be safe; I want to give them a world where we can explore the abilities of our power without fear of getting killed for being extraordinary. I can only do this with you by my side. As my equal. As a person who thinks like me and can keep up with my plans. As my partner. As the only one I can trust."
"Good." you nodded, cupping his cheek as you pulled him closer to you, so your lips caught each other again.
And maybe it was naive to think he bought your story about being completely devoted to him; maybe it was just another one of his games; maybe this time he really believed your words. Or maybe he was tired of pretending you didn't feel that strange attraction every time you were together.
You did not know. And you didn't want to know.
You gave into that burning desire every time you were near him, explaining to yourself that you had to earn his trust.
But there was much more to this one kiss than just lust.
It was a promise to you.
You will break his heart and make him hate you. You will drive him mad, drive him away, and then he will cast you out. Aleksander will come to think of you not as his lover but as his greatest enemy. Alina, Baghra and you gonna end the circle of unnecessary deaths.
And then you will finally be free...
Or at least... you will kill you both while trying to hate him as you should from the beginning.
#aleksander morovoza#aleksander morozova x reader#aleksander morozova x y/n#the darkling x you#darkling x reader#the darkling#darkling shadow and bone#general kirigan#baghra morozova#general kirigan x reader#aleksander kirigan#darkling#the darkling x reader#the darkling x y/n#the darkling x oc#kaz brekker#kaz brekker x you#kaz brekker x reader#kaz brekker x y/n#alina starkov#romance#one shot#shadow and bone#six of crows#toxic love#love triangle#love confessions#darkling x y/n#general kirigan x you#kasagia
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Propaganda
Celia Johnson (Brief Encounter)—She had the most soulful eyes! Like an anime character, it's insane. And she was fantastic in Brief Encounter. I also like that she's relatively ordinary looking, compared to some of the really glamorous Hollywood celebrities? She had an understated beauty, you know? And she's British so horray for national pride, lol.
Hedy Lamarr (Samson and Delilah, Ziegfeld Girl)—Look. I'm sure someone has already submitted Hedy Lamarr because she was spectacularly beautiful, and a very strong lady too: she fled both an abusive marriage AND nazi persecution at a very young age and rebuilt a life for herself pursuing her love for acting all on her own!! Her career as an actress was stellar; while she began acting outside of Hollywood (her very first movie, Ecstasy, won a prize at the Venice Film Festival), she conquered American hearts very quickly with her first movie in the US, Algiers, and then just kept getting better and better. If all this isn't enough, she was also an inventor: her invention of the frequency-hopping spread spectrum radio transmission technique forms the base of bluetooth and has a lot of applications in all kinds of communication technologies. I think that deserves a prize, don't you?
This is round 2 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.
[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]
Celia Johnson:
An argument actually broke out in a film course I was taking, mostly filled with pensioners, because someone called Celia Johnson "not that beautiful" while we were talking about Brief Encounter. I don't understand how anyone can watch that movie and say that, she's got such magnetism and I think she's so gorgeous!!!
This woman set the bar for romantic doomed love and NO ONE has ever bettered it.
Hedy Lamarr:
The only person you can find both on the Hollywood Walk of Fame and in the Inventor's Hall of Fame--her radio-frequency-hopping technology forms the basis for cordless phones, wi-fi, and a dozen other aspects of modern life. She was also passionate in her efforts to aid the Allies in WWII (unsurprising for a Jewish-Austrian Emigree to America), and her name served as the backbone for one of the best running jokes in what is possibly Mel Brooks' best movie. Look, Louis B. Mayer apparently believed he could plausibly promote her as "The world's most beautiful woman". Is an entire website full of people going to be less audacious than one Louis B. Mayer? I didn't think so!
Described as "Hedy has the most incredible personal sophistication. She knows the peculiarly European art of being womanly; she knows what men want in a beautiful woman, what attracts them, and she forces herself to be these things. She has magnetism with warmth, something that neither Dietrich nor Garbo has managed to achieve" by Howard Sharpe, she managed to escape her controlling husband (and Nazi Germany) by a) Disguising as her maid and fleeing to Paris or b) Convincing the husband to let her wear all of her jewelry to a dinner, only to disappear afterwards. Also she was particularly clever and helped develop Frequency-Hopping Spread Spectrum (I can't really explain it but anyway...)
One of the most beautiful women ever in film, spoken by many critics and fans. Beautiful shapely figure, deeper seductive voice, and often played femme fatale roles. She was also brilliant and an inventor. Mainly self-taught, she invested her spare time, including on set between takes, in designing and drafting inventions, which included an improved traffic stoplight and a tablet that would dissolve in water to create a flavored carbonated drink, and much more.
Her depiction of Delilah and Samson and Delilah just lives rent free in my head. The woman was gorgeous.
Gorgeous and brilliant pioneer of modern technology and the middle part.
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Hi! Absolutely adore your DBZ analyses, thank you so much - just spent a delightful time reading them all. I was wondering, since you've commented on Chi-Chi and Goku's marriage, what do you have to say about Vegeta and Bulma's relationship? (I've always been entranced by it - mostly because as with all his romances, Toriyama had the wisdom not to show any of it onscreen. But I'd love to know your thoughts about it.)
Bulma and Vegeta are a match made in Hell, and they deserve each other. (Which is to say yes, I love this ship.)
Hooking Bulma up with Vegeta was a hell of a narrative swerve. Generally speaking, stories rarely do this; They rarely let characters break up once they're already invested in a romance, unless it's supposed to be like a love triangle thing.
And Bulma? Bulma was invested. At least, to a degree.
This was the birth of the original Bulma romance that ran through about half of the manga. Two teens interesting in the opposite sex suddenly realize the availability of the other and a relationship is born.
Toriyama says he's bad at writing romance but to be honest, this has always hit me as more believable than your typical drawn-out five-seasons-of-pining Will They/Won't They affair. I'm a girl. You're a boy. Wanna go out and see what clicks?
And these two... these two do not click. We only really see their relationship from Bulma's perspective but it's clear that these two are miserable together.
The manga sorta takes Bulma's side, in that we never really get to hear Yamcha's opinion about their relationship one way or another. When he's around, all he wants to do is talk shop about martial arts. Since Toriyama doesn't like to write romance, we simply don't see much of it from them. What little we do hear about it comes from Bulma complaining about how miserable she is.
Bulma is pretty much always pissed off whenever the relationship is in focus at all.
Anime filler tends to take Yamcha's side instead, portraying him as a put-upon victim of Bulma's jealousy and abuse. A nice guy who doesn't deserve the way she treats him.
It's not hard to buy into this interpretation of their relationship since, as noted, we rarely get anything from Yamcha with regard to his relationship to women or Bulma specifically but we know Bulma's a lot. It's easy to accept Bulma as the "bad guy" of this relationship because. Like. Remember that time she enslaved a sentient being? Good times.
Though one particular moment from Yamcha later on kinda stands out as a bit of a retroactive Yikes.
Yeah. Uh. Threatening violence against a woman for rejecting his bro is a bit of a Yikes. Is this who we were supposed to see Yamcha as all this time? Because, if so, it might have helped to let him opine about the relationship more. Just saiyan.
According to Toriyama in interview, Yamcha and Bulma ultimately broke up because she caught Yamcha cheating on her. I guess that's what him being "popular with girls" was supposed to mean: Once he got over his gynophobia and found confidence with the opposite sex, Yamcha became a player.
But that doesn't necessarily come across from the statement, "Bulma can't stand that Yamcha's popular with girls." A lot of fans took that to mean girls just like him for no reason, and Bulma's unreasonably jealous about it. The anime took that position too.
Note that the "Yamcha is popular with girls" thing isn't helped by the fact that we never see it on-panel because he's only ever talking shop when he's around. But we do see a wandering eye from Bulma often enough.
There's nothing wrong with enjoying the aesthetic appeal of another party even when you're in a monogamous relationship, but it doesn't really present the "Other party is a womanizer and cheater" case when you're the only one ever seen doing this.
So it feels like there's a lot about Yamcha and Bulma's relationship that never made it to print yet influenced later decisions. Those decisions ended up being controversial because the foundation for those decisions was never laid. Here, Toriyama's disdain for writing romance worked against him.
But ultimately, regardless of whose side you take, it doesn't really matter. It doesn't matter who the "bad guy" is. A healthy relationship does not have a "bad guy" in it.
Whether or not Yamcha cheated, whether or not Bulma's just an unreasonably jealous hell-beast, it doesn't actually matter. What matters is that once you reach the point where you're taking sides over which party is the most obnoxious asshole and I hate you and I wish we never met... this relationship is not working for anybody.
It doesn't matter who the bad guy is. It doesn't matter who deserves the blame for this relationship being a toxic shithole. That there is blame to throw around in the first place is the problem. Every relationship has its ups and downs but if one party is constantly miserable for years and has possibly been looking for an escape hatch since year 1, that's not a little tiff.
What matters is that these two are not working out. Any time we see their relationship in focus, they are miserable together. The anime tried to do some patchwork on that with audience reception by giving them some cute moments as well, but because those moments aren't canon the pair remained miserable.
And then this happened.
Despite everything, I think we all assumed that Bulma and Yamcha were going to work it out. Fictional relationships are often portrayed as tumultuous. To a writer, nothing says true love like being constantly miserable and despising every waking moment you spend with your awful, nagging ball-and-chain of a spouse. That's just. Like. What the straights think romance is. It's weird.
I think we all thought that was going to be the deal here too. And then Trunks came along and said, "Nope, actually, they finally severed the cord."
Again, Toriyama says he's bad at writing romance but holy shit, the toxic and miserable relationship actually ended. The two characters involved who only got together out of loneliness and desperation later found they were incompatible with each other. That's so real. Much moreso than a lot of fictional romances.
Instead, we got the absolute crack ship that is Vegeta and Bulma. What a wild-ass revelation for Trunks to drop.
Like. Until the end of the Namek arc, this was the only time these two characters even met.
She also saw Vegeta for like two seconds here.
That was it. That was their entire history together until Goku defeated Frieza while Kaio sent everyone to Earth. But that's when everything changed for Vegeta.
Stranded on Earth with no ship, no affiliations, no ability to leave the planet and nowhere to go or be and no obligations to anyone but himself, Vegeta's circumstances were wildly different than they'd ever been before. He had become one of the Namekian refugees.
And Bulma was offering refuge.
Hard to resist, indeed. That moment is absolutely hilarious in retrospect. Bulma rolled a Nat 20 on that charisma check. It's pretty clear who the instigator of this relationship was.
Like. It needs to be stated that at this point, the only thing Bulma knew about Vegeta was that he tried to kill them all multiple times, and also he's kinda hot. But. Like.
It's Bulma. Anyone who doesn't expect this from her by now either hasn't been paying attention or started watching the English dub of the anime when they did Z first.
So, naturally, Vegeta is a kind and loving man and became a phenomenal husband and fa--
Wait. No. I got my notes mixed up. It says here Vegeta's a rotten dirty bastard. Like. Chronically. He has Supreme Dickshit Syndrome. It's genetic.
Most of Bulma and Vegeta's developing relationship happens offscreen. From what snippets we get, Vegeta has a tendency to vanish during the day, but he still lives at Capsule Corp so Bulma sees him around.
By the end of the three-year timeskip, it's official. Or semi-official. Yamcha and Bulma broke up at some point during that timeskip and Bulma's given birth to Trunks.
As for Vegeta, he's evidently moved out of Capsule Corp and into his own place.
I guess he's still keeping contact with Bulma since she knows what his intentions are. Not to mention he found his tranquility during these three years, though it's somewhat ambiguous as to what exactly brought that peace to his heart.
But the relationship is off to a rocky start nonetheless. Clearly something went down between Vegeta and Bulma that drove Vegeta out of Capsule Corp. To. Uh. Somewhere.
I like to imagine Vegeta living in some shitty West City apartment he rents off a stipend Bulma's sending him that he refuses to openly acknowledge. Like, room 101 is a down-on-his-luck tax accountant, room 102 is a couple with a kid trying to make ends meet off two retail workers' salaries, and then room 103 is Vegeta, Prince of All Saiyans. Sometimes he goes to community events and pretends he isn't having fun.
No lie, I would absolutely watch that as a sitcom.
As for Vegeta himself, he's still a rotten dirty bastard.
Worth noting that Vegeta's saying this as a Super Saiyan which means he's drunk on the form's enhanced aggression. But. Still. Vegeta is an absolute monster being dragged kicking and screaming into a pleasant life that he'll one day resent himself for enjoying. This is his arc moving forward.
It's not so much a redemption arc as it is a domestication arc. The uniquely evil even by Saiyan standards Vegeta is gradually being changed by his new terrestrial life. He doesn't want to own up to how much he enjoys it here. Seven years later, he's still desperate to avoid owning up to it.
He doesn't want to be happy here. He doesn't want a loving wife and a son who looks up to him and the most lavish home wealth can afford him and easy, comfortable days spent with friends and loved ones by his side. He doesn't want a happy ending.
But it's like Bulma warned him: Dragon Ball's queen bee is hard to resist.
Welcome back to Capsule Corp, Vegeta. We hardly even noticed you were gone. Honestly, Future Trunks deserves a lot of the credit for this; Watching him die at the Cell Games was what flipped the switch in Vegeta's head that he wants the family he and Bulma have spawned together.
Sure is a good thing we have Dragon Balls because this is a hell of a time to suddenly decide you love your son. But we see the consequences of that seven years later, since Vegeta moved back into Capsule Corp from... I don't know, wherever he went. They're gonna miss him at the next community poolside summer BBQ event for all tenants.
Part of what makes Vegeta and Bulma work, I think, is that they're on the same page about one crucial point. For Bulma, there is one person who will always take precedent in her life above all others. Romance comes and romance goes, but this is the relationship that matters most to her.
Especially when it comes to martial arts and fighting. Bulma doesn't know a lot about the subject, but she knows that Son Goku is her #1. She has no reservations about saying that to her lover's face either.
When fists start flying, Bulma knows who she's rooting for. If Goku's involved, then it's not her guy. That's. Just. Something that anyone who wants to be with her has to be willing to understand. The single most important relationship in Bulma's life will always be her friendship with Goku.
And the thing about Vegeta is... He kind of agrees? Like. See above, re: I wanted Babidi to destroy my feelings for Bulma so that I could become the warrior that can fight with you, Kakarot.
As much as Goku will always be Bulma's #1, he'll also always be Vegeta's #1. He even gets included into Vegeta's fond farewell to the family he loves.
Goku is basically the platonic third in a two-person polycule. This is the second marriage that this poor ace plays a vital role in despite having no real interest in romance whatsoever.
Bulma is selfish, spiteful, petty, and vain. At one point, DBS: Broly directly compares her to Frieza; A comparison that manages to be unbelievably unflattering to both participants.
They're the same picture. A revelation that would probably be horrifying to both.
And Vegeta. Especially Vegeta. But. Like. She warned you she was irresistible. You didn't take her seriously and now look where you are. Married to the She-Frieza. Maybe you should think about your life choices.
This is just. So much fun. As I said at the outset, Bulma and Vegeta are a match made in Hell who make it work because they're both similar brands of awful.
As for Yamcha, it's a little known fact but Yamcha rebounded and moved on with his life. He stops having much story relevancy after he leaves Capsule Corporation so we see very little of his private life from there. After retiring from martial arts and splitting up with Bulma, Yamcha's left without any story hooks to keep him involved.
But there was this interesting moment, when he realized they had a Shenron wish to spare.
After Krillin comes up with something better to use the wish on, he takes it back and claims it was a joke.
This is, surprisingly, a point of contention in the fandom as some of Yamcha's fans prefer the idea that he died miserable and alone after Bulma ruined his life by leaving him. This takeback gets pointed to as proof that he made up his girlfriend entirely. However, in context, it's clear that a) he's trying to brush off his earlier attempt at making a petty wish and b) the thing he's transparently pretending was a joke is the necklace wish, not the existence of his new girlfriend.
Like Bulma, Yamcha moved on with his life after the break up of their miserable relationship. And that was the final word that was ever uttered on Yamcha's romantic prospects, because this was the last time he was ever meaningfully involved with anything at all.
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afterglow- pt.4 [ T.A.A ]
pairings: trent alexander arnold x fem!reader
summary: young and aspiring marketing and business major jamie carter (you) is privileged with working alongside the liverpool marketing and public relations team while also getting entangled with their star player and right back, trent alexander arnold.
genre(s): friends?? to lovers, work romance, fluff
[wc: 7.8k] [part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 5] [part 6] [part 7] [part 8]
the atmosphere in the training center's gym was thick. not just because of the humidity but because everyone was in genuine awe as they listened to trent talk about what happened a few days ago at their match.
it took him three days to think the situation over. nobody in their right mind would ask whether or not someone had a partner without there being an ulterior motive, right? right??
your question had kept him up for hours at night, but it was so nonchalant that he didn't know if he was supposed to think anything of it. it didn't make sense. so he turned to help from his teammates, and considering that half of them were in relationships, they would give him solid advice. (which was laughable)
"she wants you," dominik deadpanned which caught everyone's attention but nobody was convinced.
virgil crossed his arms and looked him with his eyebrows quirked. curious to hear his reasoning. "and how would you know?"
dominik snickered. "because I do. she's one of those girls who flirt nonchalantly. to her, she might just find it fun to tease you right now with no actual intention but it'll get to her."
once again the room fell silent as eveyone tried to wrap what he said around their heads.
"is this guy serious?" robbo asked and pointed to dominik who just shrugged from his position on the mat.
just then someone walked into the gym, ready to bring forward their own opinion. "if she likes you then her intentions will be clear."
the spotlight was now on the group's manager but his opinion wasn't appreciated at all. apparently it was too outdated.
"women don't work like that anymore boss," ibou retorted and got a choir of agreement but their boss still shook his head.
he turned to look at trent, who looked more troubled than before, and he couldn't help but stifle a laugh. "trent, do you like her?'
the right back who was deep in thought broke out of his daze that was utter turmoil. "I mean I don't even know her. we've had like two conversations."
"did you enjoy those conversations?"
the team began to grow invested in the little back and forth and stopped what they were doing to pay more attention. it was nothing short of heated- the way that jurgen was firing questions at trent and how he nearly buckled with each answer.
"I mean yeah." he focused his gaze on the floor. "I find her amusing I guess. but maybe that's just me."
"oh no, it's not just you," ali scoffed as he recalled their conversation the other day. "she is quite the charmer. very easy to talk to and nothing short of playful."
trent snapped his fingers back at ali in agreement. "yes. that."
conversation broke out in the gym again with everyone voicing their opinions on the matter to try and figure out whether or not trent actually liked her. but he kept on saying, "I don't know. I just met her."
jurgen got up from one of the chairs in the room and gave everyone a wave, but he knew they weren't paying attention. "thursday."
that single word brought their attention to the door where their boss was standing with a lopsided smile on his face.
"we're playing at raiffiesen on thursday," curtis prompted in an attempt to get an answer and jurgen nodded, his attention turned to trent who wasn't playing the match that thursday.
"jamie won't be joining us because her pitch is due that morning. do what you want with that information but if you like her, I'm sure you'll know in no-time. but take your time and get to know her. she's quite the character."
you were taking an uber to work today instead of driving by yourself. It had been a while since you took public transport, you genuinely considered it such a hassle and just took the blow and paid some extra cash for an uber.
the reason for this, however, was strange. before you left the house this morning, you had gotten a call from jurgen asking you if you could accompany martin diggle, who was the head of coaching at the academy to the academy that afternoon seeing as they were considering broadening their promotional content for the boys on that side.
you agreed of course but the confusion in your voice was clear even after you put the phone down. why did you have to go with him? there were plenty of other staff with more experience than you anyway, but you brushed it off and focused on today's main goal.
getting your pitch approved.
so when you walked into the office with your head held high and a look of determination on your face you hadn't expected to be hit with a, "I see where you're coming from and the first project is fresh. we'll get back to you after further discussion. thank you ms carter."
it was nothing short of a blow to the gut. it wasn't a rejection per se, but it wasn't an approval either and that didn't sit well. how long were you going to have to wait? was marvin just being nice? was your pitch that bad? was it too impractical? were you being selfish?
"was it that bad?"
your head shot up at the question. you lifted your gaze from the the floor, tightening your grip on your laptop bag that was slung over your shoulder. a look of confusion settled on your face, expecting to see martin since you'd be going with him.
instead you were face to face with trent, his back leaned against his car- a black range rover. he pushed himself off the side of the car and shot you a smile to which you furrowed your eyebrows.
"what are you doing here?" you asked, not taking a step further.
a dry chuckle fell from his lips. "you mean at the liverpool hq? the hq of the football club that I've been playing for nearly my entire life?"
you could see the amusement dancing in his eyes knowing that he got you right where he wanted you. okay so maybe it was a dumb question, but it made sense. he had no reason to be there— he should've been at home resting.
"hilarious." you faked a smile. obviously he knew what you meant by the question and decided to tease you but you weren't in the mood.
trent couldn't help but stare at you, his eyes roaming your features and taking in as much of you as he could to cure his little predicament and the many questions swarming through his mind.
he still didn't know much about you, and stalki- i mean viewing your socials could only get him so far. he knew that you had an older sister, he knew about your ex boyfriend michael, he knew that you had and amazing sense of style, and that you loved your job with a passion.
but that wasn't enough to feed his curiosity. he wanted to know more than just the surface level attributes. he needed to know more.
"are you even listening to me right now?" you asked while waving a hand in front of his face. you'd been talking for quite some time and you were convinced that he wasn't listening at all.
trent shook his head with an amused smile and opened the car door he was standing infront of. "get in."
your eyes lips parted in shock. "I'm waiting for--"
you were rudely cut off by the feeling of your phone vibrating in your pants pocket and you quickly answered it, yours eyes still lingering on trent who knew exactly who you were talking to.
"no it's fine. he just got here anyway." your tone was soft and polite but the look that you were sending the right back was nothing of the sort.
when you heard martin hang up you hurriedly put your phone back and made your way into the passenger seat of trent's car, still holding the door open for you. "aren't you just adorable?"
he smiled at your mocking tone and sent you a look that made your heart jump. "well aren't you just an ego booster?"
when you got to the academy that early afternoon you didn't really know what to expect. but oh gosh were you left in awe. talk about prestigious.
your eyes roamed the buildings interior, the occasional gasp leaving your mouth which would get a stifled laugh from trent. he walked beside you with his hands in his pockets, a huge pang of nostalgia washing over him as he reminisced on his academy days.
"I can't believe you actually got the opportunity to train here," you gasped when you stepped out onto the field, where you saw the u18's doing their drills.
he let out a knowing hum and lead you over to where the academy's u18 coach- jay spearing was stood, leading the group of teenagers. if there was one thing that you knew then it was thar liverpool's academy players were nothing short of astonishing.
trent, curtis, jarell, and soon you could feel that a few new kids would be added to the list.
"what do we have here?" jay asked in surprise when he saw you and trent approaching, a smile present on his face when he saw the right back.
you watched as the older man brought trent into a hug, patting him on the back adoringly and sharing a few words before trent gestured to you. "this is ms c--"
trent's voice subtly cracked in uncertainty when he stopped mid introduction, which was strange. he turned back to you and then to jay with a smile. "--this is jamie. the head of our p.r team."
an impressed hum left jay's lips as he recalled what jurgen had said not to long ago about you. "It's nice to meet you jamie. I hope trent isn't bothering you too much. he's a bit of a handful."
he nudged the younger on his arm and you couldn't help but stifle a laugh. "I'm afraid that's an understatement."
trent put his hand over his heart in mock offence and gasped. "I could say the same about you."
the three of you spent a few more minutes talking about the team and how jurgen had been coming over quite a bit to view some of the youngsters for reserves, seeing as they were playing exceptionally well.
"he's had his eye on bradley, beck and doak for a while now. kaide gordon as well, but he's been out due to an injury."
you both listened to jay give his rundown on the recent observations while you watched the group of boys do their usual target practice. however, it was obvious that trent was scouting and you were thinking of ways to get these boys out in the public.
"do you think they'd let me take them out on a field trip?"
the question caught trent's attention as he turned to look at your side profile. "a field trip to where?"
you shrugged your shoulders, not too sure yet. "a hike."
"a hike?? are you craz--"
"--shush trent they're coming." you shut him up immediately by hitting his chest, your attention fixed on the group of boys walking your way.
now normally if you were to see a professional footballer, probably the blue print for the new generation and beside him a girl who was on the p.r team and a social media influencer of sorts there wouldn't be much debate as to who you'd want to meet.
both you and trent knew that, and you couldn't see the way he was mentally preparing himself to be greeted and questioned while you stood there silently and observed the interaction.
or well so you thought. what you didn't expect was for trent to get a head start and greet the group of boys, praising them for their hard work and offering to take a few pictures so that you could post them and it actually made a lot of sense.
you got your phone out and got ready, but to your surprise he was shot down. "we're actually here for jamie."
"what?" you both said in unison in visible shock.
"we're fans," one of the boys said sheepishly and you felt your heart melt.
trent was dumbfounded. he didn't know what to say or do, still trying to accept the fact that he was openly rejected. but you on the other hand tried to play it off as cool as possible.
it was normal for fans to approach you in public, but the fact that you had a fanbase and supporters was something that would always come as a shock. you didn't do much to deserve it, or at least that's you thought.
a smile drew to your lips, making sure to send trent a look. "well aren't you just an ego booster?"
spamjam._. added to their story
"so, how did it go?"
you jumped up at the sound of maya's voice echoing through the empty apartment. "son of a bitch."
all the lights were off so you assumed that she had gone to bed already and tried to shut the door as silently as possible, but here she was. sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee and the lamp on.
you dropped your bags to the floor and tried to lessen the fright that you had gotten but your sister couldn't have cared less. "It's nearly 10. no way you just went for ice-cream."
you felt like a rogue teenager at that moment. mentally preparing yourself for a scolding and at least 2 weeks of being grounded. "well sorry to disappoint," you joked and took off your jacket. "the ice cream was amazing though."
maya couldn't believe your answer and tore the blanket off her body to follow you into your bedroom. she watched as you got your things ready so you could shower and proceeded to bombard you with as many questions possible.
and you gave her the same response each time. after the academy, you took a drive to kill some time, got ice cream, and then you were dropped off. literally nothing happened.
"we just talked about normal things--" you tied up your hair, "--the weather, the state of our economy, why the earth is flat. nothing strange."
maya pulled a face and shook her head, "I hate you so much, ugh."
it wasn't long before you made yourself comfortable in bed, creeping underneath your blankets and succumbing to the warmth and security that it brought you. your mind drifted elsewhere for a moment and you were back to your anxious state.
the pitch.
it had only been a few hours but you were starting to rethink the entire idea. you could say that it was rather selfish of you to use yours and trent's little bet as a form of entertainment but it was a win-win situation. the team would get to practice but in the form of games and so much more fun, while getting their publicity.
that was entertainment.
you were just about to put off your phone and head off to sleep when you got the email. the green light.
dear ms carter,
apologies for the late outreach but I had a few things to sort out back at the office.
regarding your pitch however, I'd like to happily inform you that your pitch was approved by the directors as well as jurgen who was more then delighted to give it a go.
I trust that you have the logistics sorted out. and that you are able to start filming by october 9th seeing as the team have a busy match schedule for the rest of the month, so we'll need your undivided attention on our schedule as well.
I am excited to see how you take charge of this project and I hope it leads in your favour.
sincerely,
marvin colesmen
spamjam._. added to their story
trentarnold66 replied to your story
trentarnokd66 seriously, project carter😭
spamjam._. I am not about to get copyrighted by mbappe
and besides, I got ali on my back which means I'm about to beat the shit out of you
trentarnold66 all this for some content. talk about dedication. and you're still gonna lose😪
spamjam._. it's going to be fun. trust me.
trentarnold66 hm, I'll take your word for it. congrats btw 👏
spamjam._. stopppp. you're making me blush😊
trentarnold66 oh that's horrible. I'm gonna have to start keeping my distance.
spamjam._. you're not that great bro
trentarnold66 we all have our own opinions
#trent alexander arnold fluff#footballer imagine#liverpool fc#trent alexander arnold x reader#footballer x reader#liverpool x reader#fanfic#football imagine#footballer x you#trent alexander arnold fanfic#cherrei writes
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Currently reading a Korean webnovel instead of Chinese ones and this is making me conceptualize something, let’s see if I can put it in words…
My musings started with realizing that I’ve become very used to this cnovels thing where the main pairing is literally stated in the summary. Not the case for the k-novel I’m reading, and therefore I’m experiencing Pain and Suffering, — torn between my every instinct screaming that the author is setting up the OT3 endgame, and trying to lower my expectations to avoid disappointment. (And the novel is ongoing so I can’t even get spoilers for the ending :) girl help.)
As you may’ve guessed, I found myself strongly preferring the Chinese variant; but as to why exactly it was so important for my enjoyment to know the main couple… it took me a bit to figure out.
I mean, it’s not like I’m reading exclusively for romance, okay? Fannish activity-wise, sure, I tend to get fixated on ships (though even then, not all the time), but when it comes to reading (or any media intake, really), it’s not necessarily what I’m most interested in. Among my beloved titles, there are many where there’s no canon or fanon couple I'm attached to — and more than a few where there’s a canon couple that I neither love nor hate, just accept. So why did I get so attached to the concept of being, essentially, spoiled the endgame couple beforehand?
The key word that made it click was: promise. After all, it’s not like knowing the names of the characters that get together tells me anything about if they will be interesting or boring together, if they will be good for each other or make me scream “break up!” a million times. But it is a solid promise that these two people ARE gonna be a couple.
And thinking about the word promise reminded me of discussions on plot twists that I’ve seen on here, about what makes a good plot twist and what makes a bad one — specifically, the phrase “narrative promise” that someone came up with. Basically, narrative promise is in the set up and the build up. If the plot twist betrays the narrative promise, it will not work, and it will be hated by the audience, who’ll feel like their emotional investment into the story was mocked.
The thing about the narrative promise, and why this term stuck with me, is that it’s actually applicable more broadly than just for shock-factor plot twists. For example: what is queerbaiting, if not betraying the narrative promise that the two characters are gonna be together? The fans see the narrative promise — the set up and the build up that would be unequivocally romantic for a het couple — and expect it to be fulfilled; only to be called delusional by the very creators that gave them this expectation.
And this brings me to the next point: the catch of the “narrative promise” is that it’s never a guarantee. You can be completely sure the author is setting up X, only for them to turn around and do something completely different. (Possibly while calling you a little bitch for having the stupidity to invest your feelings into their creation, too.) After a while, a fan learns to manage their expectations. To not bet too much on anything, even if it feels like there’s no other way it can go. To wait until the end of the season or the last chapter before allowing themselves to get attached; to hold back on deciding whether something is good or not, lest they hype up something they will want to bury and forget later.
And this is where we circle back to c-novels, and to spoiling the main couple in the summary. Except I hesitate to call it “spoiling” because, as discussed, it actually heightens my enjoyment. For a simple reason: this practice takes the narrative promise from its nebulous, uncertain status to something concrete and real. Only for this one aspect and with the minimal-est amount of information possible, but still. That’s one thing I don’t have to guess about or doubt myself on (am I seeing things? is there a heterosexual explanation another way to read this? will the author simply kill off one of the characters before the end so that they don’t have to decide whether to make them explicitly queer?), and one thing I can count on (whatever else happens in the plot, I’ll still have this). It’s easy to invest emotionally into those characters and their relationship, when you have an assurance of their happy ending.
Ofc, I’m not saying that I don’t invest emotionally into relationships or characters other than the main CP — just that it is easier. And I would even say having this one(1) hard promise makes it easier to invest into other elements of the work, too, as it makes for a sort of safety net even if something else is disappointing or painful.
Like, say you are invested in one couple with great chemistry and one side character. In case of a pre-stated ship, even if the side character dies, at least you still have the canon couple. So it’s not like all of your emotional connection to the book is lost, and you can probably bear with the loss of that character by writing everybody lives AU or something. But if the side character dies AND the couple you were invested in gets broken up or killed off or straight-married with other ppl… then doesn’t that make the entire thing into one massive disappointment? to the point that you might even regret picking up the book that made you care only to slap you in the face?..
So yeah, having even just one ship guaranteed is very comforting. And then I thought, well, doesn’t this apply to another type of fiction that I’m very familiar with?
Fanfiction?
Which, since very early on, has adopted the practice of putting the endgame ship in the header of the fic. And which, probably not coincidentally, is often a response to a broken (or at the very least not brought to its logical conclusion) narrative promise. And which always felt uniquely easy to read for me…
See, prior to getting on this little thought train, I always assumed the ease was due to pre-existing familiarity with canon. You know, not having to learn the entire new setting, already having attachment to the characters… But now that I’ve connected these dots, I thought about times I read fics for fandoms I wasn’t familiar with, and originals formatted as fics — and really, wasn’t it always about the narrative promise made solid?
Esp with how fics make it even broader than cnovels, by having extensive tags and ratings and such. Getting into a fic, you have a pretty clear idea of what may or may not happen in the story, even if you don’t know what exactly will happen or how. And a fic can fail to live up to the premise set up by ship/rating/tags — but not completely turn its back on it.
(Well, normally. But in those exceptional cases where tags are misleading, at least you have something to point to when saying, “this is not what I was promised”. The ficwriter can hardly claim they don't understand why you expected [ship] to happen when they personally tagged their work as containing that ship — unlike the traditional media creators, who can always play the "you were totally misunderstanding my intentions the entire time" card.)
And having a solid promise like this, it turns out, takes lotsa pressure off starting a New Unfamiliar thing. I do, in fact, trust like that! So it’s no wonder that there were periods in my life when I would only consume fanfiction, because it was so much easier than extending trust to new titles. And it’s no wonder that what brought me back to being an avid reader were Chinese webnovels that use a practice very similar to what we have in fandoms.
I guess I understand myself better now! Still wish I knew if that k-novel's author is /j or /srs about the ot3 though.
#fandom#fanfiction#cnovels#danmei novels#idk just a lot of musings that i wanted to organize a bit. and since i already typed it all might as well set it free here
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𝕬𝖙𝖙𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓
Characters: Baji Keisuke (Edward)
Warnings: Oral, toxic-ish?, p in v sex, unknown filming/recording
A/N: For anon <3
"Boy, you stupid," you chuckle at the reel. A disapproving grunt leaves Baji's throat.
As of right now, you were on the phone with Baji while texting your boy best friend, Kaiden. Baji was ignoring you, too invested in his game. So you decide to text Kaiden since you are bored. It didn't take long for him to start spamming you with reels. Admittedly, you wish you were on the phone with Kaiden. At least he was giving you attention.
You look up from the reels at the sound of Baji's grunt.
"What's wrong with you?" you ask.
"Nun." he mumbles.
You resist the urge to roll your eyes. "Okay, Keisuke."
"First name is crazy," he chuckles under his breath.
"Yeah, uh huh." You go back to watching your reels.
Yes, you were being petty. It doesn't take much to play a game and talk at the same time. So you were going to keep this up until he got the hint.
And it didn't take long. Ten minutes, tops.
"Who're you talkin' to?" He finally puts his controller down, his gaming chair facing the camera. He wore grey sweatpants, a black woman beater, a silver chain, and his hair was up in a man bun. Damn, did he look good.
"My man." you spit, smiling.
"Don't fuck with me, little girl."
"I'm not though?" you chuckle.
He hums, putting his gamer headphones back on, grabbing his controller, and turning his chair back. You go back to Kaiden, smiling contently.
Hours pass. You and Baji have been on the phone for about 5 hours, and not a word has been said after your little argument. All that can be heard is the clicking of his controller. You sit up. "Baji?"
Silence.
"Bae, I was playing!" you laugh.
He's not.
"Bae? What're you yappin' about, bruh? What's up with you, gang?"
Oh. You did not like that.
"I ain't yo' bruh or gang, Keisuke," you say sternly.
"My bad, broski." he chuckles, his eyes never leaving the screen. "Maybe you should go play around with your man, yeah?"
Your jaw clenches.
"Okay, I will." You don't even listen to his next remark, you hang up the phone and call Kaiden.
Kaiden didn't have his attention consumed by the game. He had all his attention on you. You can't say you didn't know he had a crush on you. You knew. He made it so. painfully. obvious. However, you never returned his feelings. You weren't a cheater. You lay on your stomach, on the verge of tears from laughing. Kaiden always knew how to cheer you up and make you laugh. He wasn't your boy best friend for no reason.
It wasn't until you heard the all-too-familiar sound of gravel meeting tires. Someone was pulling into the driveway. "Hold on, Kai."
You rush over to the window of your room. Baji's car was parked in your driveway. It takes about 30 minutes to get here; you hung up on him not even 25 minutes ago! You already hear the keys jingling as he hops out of the car.
You had forgotten that you gave him a spare key! You bolt to the door to lock the top lock.
There stood Baji.
Casually placing his keys on the counter and locking the front door. You're not sure if you were frozen in anger or shock. Either way, it doesn't stop him from leaning on the counter, crossing his arms with his eyes trained on you.
Your face scrunches up in anger. "Is there a reason you're here?" You cross your arms and cock your head at him.
He marches up to you and grabs your wrist before you can jerk your arm back. He makes a beeline to your bedroom and shoves you towards the bed before locking the door. He removes his shirt and looks at you. "Strip."
You quickly remove your shirt as Baji walks over to your bed and places your phone on the nightstand. he pulls you closer by your hips and connects your lips with his. His tongue slides into your mouth with ease as he helps you remove your bottoms. He pulls at your lower lip with his teeth before pushing you onto the bed.
You unbuckle his belt and take off the rest of his clothing. He steps out of his pants and kicks them to the side. You get on your hands and knees on the bed as he lazily strokes his cock, slapping it against your cheek when you try to catch it in your mouth. "Open," he mumbles.
You open your mouth, and he thrusts into your mouth, making you gag. He grips the back of your head as you suck on his length, groaning. Your tongue slides along the vein running up his cock, and your hand squeezes his balls.
He sucks in a breath and slaps your ass. "Such a good girl for me. Only me, right?"
You hum around his length, a confirmation. He pulls you off his cock by your hair. "Lyin' ass."
He grabs your upper arm and throws you on the bed. He swiftly removes your panties and parts your folds before licking a line up to your sensitive bud. Your hand flies up to your mouth in an attempt to muffle your loud moans as Baji eats you out like a starved man. He slips a finger into your wet hole, twisting and curling it as he pleases.
"Fuuuck, Baji.." You mumble while your eyes start to roll back. He adds another finger as he fiercely sucks on your clit, looking up at you with hungry eyes. You grab his wrist in an attempt to slow down his ministrations. You clench around his digits as another finger enters your needy hole.
"Cum fa me, baby. Let me see it." He growls into your pussy, his nose bumping against your clit. You reach down and pull on his hair, your high washing over you like a wave. Your legs shake on his shoulders before your body goes lax.
Baji licks one last stripe up your pussy, making you whine. He sits up on his heels and puts his hair into a bun before stroking his member.
"Relax fa me mamas." He says as he brings your knees to your chest.
He swipes his tip between your folds and brings his hand up to your mouth. You spit in his palm, and he uses it as lube. "Be good fa me, mkay?" You try your best to nod as he pushes in. You hiss from the stretch, and he groans at the feeling of your walls clenching around him. His thrusts were fast and rough, one hand coming up to wrap around your neck as the other circled your clit.
He sets a brutal pace, your moans piercing his ears. Each thrust makes your eyes roll back and become an incoherent mess. You feel impossibly stuffed whenever he hits your cervix, making you see stars. Baji's head falls into the crook of your neck as his climax approaches. Your mouth drops open as his teeth sink into your neck. "'M cummin'"
Baji slowly slides out of you, his cum slowly spilling out. He takes his phone out of the pocket of his discarded sweats, quickly snapping a picture. You let out a dissatisfied grunt as he lay down beside you. The only sound interrupting your heavy breaths is the sound of a call ending.
#tokyo rev x reader#tokyo revengers#tokyo rev#baji keisuke#baji x reader#black reader#keisuke baji#smut#tokyo rev smut#x black reader#tokyo manji gang#tokyo revengers x reader#Tokyo revengers x black reader#x black fem reader#black#tokyo revengers baji#toman#tokrev#tokyo rev x you#tokyo rev x y/n
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Some random modern HotD headcanons :)
Hey y’all! So I kept thinking of some funny, and very specific headcanons for the HotD characters, so I decided to just make it a whole post. This will actually be my first “legit” post on here, lol! Anyways, this will include some headcanons about Aemond, Aegon II, Luke, Jace, Daemon, Rhaenyra, Helaena, etc. But hope y’all enjoy lol! :)
Ok, I am convinced that Aemond has a secret stash of tea hidden somewhere. He's even put them all in a very nice ornate, antique box. It's his guilty pleasure. He probably would have some Earl Gray, English Breakfast, maybe even some lavender mint for the evenings. He'd keep it secret because all the teas he's gotten are way too expensive, and special.
Luke is an avid Minecraft gamer. Like he's basically built Dragonstone, and the Red Keep in his server. He'll play sometimes with Jace, or maybe even Aegon. But he doesn't let them into that world. Aegon would probably blow it all up with TnT.
Speaking of gaming, I think some people are on the same page that Aegon would be some kind of gamer. He'd be up to date on all the new systems and gadgets. He'd be one of the firsts to have the PS5 when it came out. He probably plays a lot of Call of Duty. Maybe even some Valorant when he doesn't wanna fire up the PS. He'd definitely be cursing and yelling at the game, to the point where Alicent threatens to take it away.
While Rhaenyra watches her shows, House Wives, Rupaul's Drag Race, etc. Daemon pretends to be not interested, but really he's super invested. He'd be leaning against the couch, or the wall totally sucked in. And when Rhaenyra tells him to just sit down and watch with her, he's all like, "no no I don't even like this show". But then he'd say things like, "Well maybe if her gown was better made she wouldn't have been eliminated last episode".
Aegon gives me frat boy energy. And I know I'm not the first to say that lol. You already know he's planning all the parties, and picking the themes. I like to think he'd be very invested into picking the themes. They would be things like, dragon night, wear your fave dragon scale colors. Or something like, Dragonstone beach night, wear your swim suits and flip flops.
Alicent likes to knit. Or maybe crochet? It's her stress reliever activity after dealing with Aegon, and the rest of the boys. Helaena is always giving her new patterns or designs to try.
I think Alicent also likes to take the occasional Buzzfeed quiz. "If you were a cake flavor, here's what you'd be based on your star sign".
Helaena runs a very successful tik tok account. She'd post her outfits, and maybe some art or cool bugs she's found.
Aegon listens to a lot of Megan Thee Stallion and Kim Petras. He's blasting Kim Petras' Treat me like a Slut at least 5 times a day. He gets ready to it in the morning.
Aemond will get down to some Amy Winehouse.
Jace works at the local animal shelter as his summer job. He only got the job cause Rhaenyra said he needed to get out of the house. Plus Helaena also works there, so she helped him get hired.
Aemond would be a great bartender. Not with like actually interacting with customers, but he can make some great drinks. Like he's over here coming up with all these crazy cocktails. Although, like his tea obsession he keeps this on the low. He doesn't want Aegon asking him to make drinks all the time. Gods forbid he asks Aemond to bartend at one of the frat parties.
Helaena was a Monster High girl growing up.
Aemond has a motorcycle. It was his one rebellious purchase. Alicent hates it.
Luke can kick Aegon's ass in any game, video or otherwise. You name it, Call of Duty, UNO, Valorent, Go fish...
Rhaenyra has a bit of a sweet tooth, but she has to hide her candy stash, cause the boys will steal it in a heartbeat. Who would have thought Daemon would love lemon drops so much.
I really could go on forever, these are just too fun to write. But I'll leave it here for now lol.
#aemond targaryen x reader#daemon targeryan#rhaenyra targaryen#hotd headcanon#hotd fanfic#luke targaryen#jace targaryen#aegon ii fic#aegon ii targaryen#helaena imagine#helaena targaryen#alicent hightower#aemond targaryen#headcanon#modern hotd#aegon x reader#lucerys velaryon#jacerys targaryen#house of the dragon#modern aemond#modern aegon
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"Talk that talk"
A/N: Back at it again with another HC inspired by TWICE... This time it's actually going by the meaning of the song ALSO IGNORE WHAT I DID FOR AOI'S HEADER I GOT TOO INVESTED ANYWAYS ENJOY HELPCLPCS ⎯ Mod ☠️
Content: Fluff, no gender mention for reader aside from the word 'pretty' that is used in Aoi's part, short HC, not properly proof read/edited
Summary: "Just tell me you love me already!"
Characters: Aoi, Teru, Akane
Talk that talk
⎯ Let me know the real you, let me see what's behind all that sugary sweetness in your voice. Don't wanna waste time with the push and pull, just say it out loud and I might say it back.
AOI would be surprised hearing your question towards her. For a brief moment you could see how she froze up and contemplated on your words as her smile drops, going silent for a long time before letting out a chuckle.
It was silly, so laughable even. For you to ask her something so insanely cute that she couldn't help but find it so endearing while you sat there looking all pretty, waiting for her answer.
When she had finally came to a conclusion, still refusing to meet your eyes and instead, stared down at her lap while her hair strands covered most of her face. You began to worry if the question had upset her. Oh but you were wrong. So wrong.
If she were to look up at you right now, you'd seen the embarrassing sight of her flushed redden cheeks and lovestruck smile. Obviously she can't let you see that side to her yet. So for now...
"You're so mean ... to ask a girl for her feelings straight up. I should honestly reject you right here and now for that, y'know?"
"Aoi I'm being serious, I want to know..."
It was then that she said it, barely even louder than a whisper, did she say something that made your heart skip a beat.
-
"⎯ I heard a rumor, that she (I) loves you back."
Tell me what you want
⎯ The simple words "I love you." That's all I wanna hear. Doesn't matter where we are, who we are, and what we're doing ⎯ baby I just wanna hear it and fall in love with you all over again.
When you first ask TERU about it, he was probably in the student council room buried in work again. But upon seeing you after you had open the door to the room, he was beaming from ear to ear, that princely smile that made everyone ⎯ including you ⎯ fall for his charms.
However, after he hears your question towards him, his smile drops from shock. Had he not already made it clear how he feels about you? It struck him like a slap across the face to hear you say all this but...
With a sigh leaving his lips, he suddenly leans in. Coming in so close to you that you could feel his everything. The way he had one hand on your waist while the other was holding your chin to look up at him. Whereas with your hand that rested on his chest, you could feel the rhythm of his heartbeat.
You could feel your face growing hotter by the second from how bold his movements were suddenly, mind especially racing when he leans in even closer to your ear ⎯ whispering while holding you so intimately... You might as well just pass out at this point⎯!!
"You can feel it, can't you? How fast my heart is beating so fast for you, only you, just you. "
"Teru...I⎯"
-
"I love you, Y/N."
Tell me what you need
⎯ Enough with the jokes and preparation, get straight to the point and say it. Stop beating around the bush, stop acting like a lovesick fool, just let me love you already damn it.
He's absolutely jaw dropped at hearing your question towards him, him of all people. AKANE is just?? so baffled?? so flustered that he just gapes at you right after you finish talking. Did you not see his previous confessions to you?? Were they so lacklustre you didn't even consider them as confessions!??
But when you started to talk more about the underlining reason as to why you felt the way you felt, he slowly began to understood what you meant. Although he may act goofy at times, he's still the vice president, y'know?
He's bit upset (at himself) but he's not entirely mad about the situation at all, in fact, he's glad to know how he made you feel ⎯ or more so, how you actually felt about him. It's so funny that he can't help but laugh at how silly the situation took a turn to.
Akane tried so hard to impress you that he didn't even realise you felt the same. He's such a fool for you, a lovesick fool who can't keep his hand off of you. Suddenly taking you in his arms to embrace you in a tight hold as his shoulders shake from laughing so much, he loves you. He absolutely loves you.
"I can't believe you feel the same way."
"I've alway had been, you were just so..."
"I know, I know... I'm sorry."
-
"I love you so much, Y/N."
#☠️#TBHK x reader#toilet bound hanako kun x reader#Akane Aoi x reader#Teru x reader#Minamoto Teru x reader#Aoi x reader#Aoi Akane x reader
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Claudia, Viren & The Very Real Parent-Child Dynamics of The Dragon Prince
Sometimes I wonder if I come across like I try to defend Claudia too much. That's not my intent at all. I just think she deserves more and better critique.
The Point I guess
Personally, I really connect with Claudia's brand of messy, unflattering and even pathetic rage and grief much more than the dignified and mature ways Callum and Ezran handle things (More on that later). Maybe this sounds unflattering but Claudia being also kind of an asshole really speaks to me. Like that's the kind of teenage girl I'm the most familiar with and we don't have enough media that has nuanced takes on this sort of troubled character. Exploring negative or even anti-social traits and impulses in fiction, especially in women, is kind of undervalued in my opinion. Those are part of humanity and therefore part of us and this impulse to completely reject them doesn't benefit anyone really.
Finally, some wholesome father-daughter relationship rep in media!
My way to view fantasy media is about how it can artistically portray something true to real life. That's why I'm the most invested in this kind of reading of the text. Fantasy media is often dismissed as mere escapism even by the fantasy fans themselves (*side eyes the dude bro Witcher fandom*) which ignores the emotional depths it can reach by approaching difficult subject matter more metaphorically.
Inject Viren & Claudia's Father-Daughter Dynamic Straight into My Veins
There is something viscerally real about Claudia and Viren's relationship. I've seen this kind of father-daughter dynamic play out in real life many times where the child gives and gives and gives yet the parent takes it all for granted until it's too late and the parent-child relationship is just a mangled corpse of its former self, way too damaged to ever be truly repaired.
Like if you've had a difficult relationship with your parents it can feel similar to how s4-5 Claudia struggles to keep Viren alive while Viren hesitates. The child is the one who tries to fix things in the relationship while the parent is in denial or completely oblivious. Viren doesn't really try to connect with Claudia further in s4-5. It almost seems like he's completely emotionally unprepared to have that conversation and oh boy if you know any boomer parents that's pretty damn realistic. He just sort of gives up and acts completely passive because he's so out of touch with his emotions.
There is also this aspect of your parent aging and then one day you realise that you, the child, are the one who has more power in the relationship. It's a universal experience. These are just some of the ways I can see Viren and Claudia's relationship in seasons 4 and 5 metaphorically portray real life parent-child dynamics. There is a lot of emotional truth to how TDP approaches these relationships even when the story itself is an over the top fantasy romp.
How much Viren relies on Claudia is revealed little by little: She got the unicorn horn for the spell that killed Avizandum, she got the dragon horn that helped them cross the lava to Xadia in s3. It's set up really subtly how there is almost this parentification of Claudia like she's the one who took her mother's place as the emotional center and caregiver of the family after Viren and Lissa divorced. It's a lot of pressure to put one a child to say the least. This extends to Soren and how he is treated as the scapegoat of the family when Claudia is the Golden Child. This sort of treatment of Claudia and Soren by Viren is probably the most common analysis of their family dynamic as far as I can tell.
You ever heard of the thing called "eldest daughter syndrome"?
Eventually Claudia's most admirable and positive traits get corrupted (insert here an analysis of the corruptive nature of the dark magic as a plot device). It's like this perversion of feminine nurturing instinct society values and enforces in girls. Claudia's love is not domesticated but something that's so all consuming it destroys everything in its way. In s 4 she insists Viren has to live. She does everything in her power to keep her family together even against the wishes of her loved ones; first it was healing Soren in and then it was bringing Viren back to life in s3. Claudia has fully internalised her role as the caregiver to the point of self-imposed victimhood.
All The Characters Have a Part to Play
Since TDP is meant for an all-age audience (And later for teens and up since they hiked up the age rating) all the younger characters Callum, Ezran, Rayla, Claudia and Soren collectively represent the kind of different and difficult feelings parental abandonment and neglect can cause. A real person most likely feels all of these emotions at some point of their life but in fiction they need to be spread out among different characters or the story wouldn't work as, well, a story.
"she was a mage girl committing warcrimes, he was an elf boy vibing in the woods, can I make it anymore obvious"
I'd gladly read some more critical takes on Claudia's character. There is something very interesting there about Claudia and Terry's relationship for example. Terry is clearly very enamored with Claudia whom he perceives as someone very vulnerable and in need of help. Terry isn't wrong exactly but it does get problematic when he goes to great lengths to protect Claudia to the detriment of his own wellbeing. While TDP itself doesn't draw attention to it there are also the racial and gendered elements, both implicit and explicit, because of Claudia's fantasy racism and because of Terry being a non-white trans boy character as well. Claudia is the most powerful dark mage in Xadia when Terry is just a normal guy. Given the context of the show there is a power imbalance there.
tHÖ END
Why I'm laying this all out is that I think the Internet would be a better place if people didn't try to constantly find an objective "right" way to view a piece of media but instead were somewhat transparent about what they personally got out of it. I think this Viravos meta is the most popular thing I've written so far and I tried to explain my approach in detail because I don't want people to go "look this person says Viravos is canon!". Jokes are fine of course but taking it too objectively ignores the fact that analysing subtext is valuable on its own.
Idk how to end this. Here, have this meme.
#help! I've gotten stuck in the hermeneutic circle and can't get out!#Viren & Claudia have the most interesting relationship in this show and it just keeps getting better and better#I think this is literally all that I've got to say about Claudia so far#the dragon prince meta#tdp meta#sarasade text
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do you have any book recommendations? pls i need lots 💙💙
this is such a loaded question friend. but lucky for u, i am procrastinating assignments, my take out has yet to arrive, and i just finished another book!
horror fic has been my choice for the last several books
the centre by ayesha manazir siddiqi is about a young Pakistani woman living in the UK. she's a translator for Urduru films. language and translation are central to this book. people are becoming fluent in a matter of weeks in complex languages.... the centre is gorgeous if not entirely mysterious, magical even. but whats the catch?? beautifully written. vivid details. anisa is a flawed, honest, and genuine feeling mc, as are the people in her life. i just finished it a couple hours ago n i miss my girls.
slewfoot by brom is set in 17th century Connecticut. our protag, Abitha, is not from this town but she does he best to adhere to the Puritan standards, if not for her well being, than that of her husband's. something stirs in the outskirts of the village, in the forest and beyond. she finds help from an unlikely source while also fostering a deep inner power of her own. these characters felt so well thought out, the writing is magnetic and the action is well paced. it puts so many preconceived notions right on their head. i loved this book and can't wait to read brom's other novel, the child thief, a retelling of peter pan and the lost boys!
sister, maiden, monster by lucy a. synder was oh so gay and oh so cosmically horrendous. this is like h.p. lovecraft wasn't a weird racist. this is like if biblically accurate angels were once just women in love. this is horrifying, visceral, and relevant to our COVID world. i was gawking at so many of the details. there are so many monster themes actually, it's perfect. the story is told through 3 povs of 3 different women. and we love women! and horror! i didn't expect to pick this one up but I'm so glad i did.
mary: an awakening of terror by nat cassidy do u know what it's like to be virtually invisible? forgotten? disaffected? do u know the pure joy of having a precious collection, adding to it over time, and it being almost ur only reason for living anymore?? then you're a lot like mary. and mary is a lot like plenty of women who get the chance to live beyond adolescence, who are cast out by society-- deemed invaluable. mary is utterly lost at a time in her life she feels she should have it all figured out. she goes back to her hometown, an ambiguous small town in the middle of the desert, and some unlikely characters help her piece things back together. i finished this book feeling so close to mary. we are friends now. there is mystique, horror, fables, myths, bad guys, mysterious architecture, and well mary is not the most reliable narrator. loved this one too.
the last house on needless street by catriona ward i had no idea where this book was going and i loved piecing the narrative together through several characters and their povs. it forces u to confront ur own biases regarding mental health. u are sympathetic to the characters in the most painful, heart wrenching ways. there is murder. there is mystery. there is missing children. there are cats. this book surprised me and it was fun to have to find a couple reddit threads to be sure i was understanding the story correctly. i felt like i read this kind of fast! which is always fun too.
brother by ania ahlborn this one pissed me off a bit. but in a good way because i was so deeply invested. this one is set in Appalachia. i'm not one for stereotypes, especially bc i think Appalachians have a bad rep and it's of no fault of their own. that being said, the insular feel of the book and the absolute claustrophobia those mountains create in this story were like a character in it of itself. our protag, michael, knows there's something beyond. he's seen them on colorful postcards. but his own mind and his own heart seem utterly trapped here. this one is heartbreaking. it's horrifying. and it'll make u dizzy from the amount of times u change ur mind. excited to read her other novel, Seed, because this one stuck with me so much!
a couple honorable mentions that fit the theme:
the vegetarian by han kang korean food. infidelity. art. nightmares. inexplicable mindfucks! this story was scary because it felt very.. possible? no monsters this time. no spells. just... the mind deteriorating. could happen to any of us.
a certain hunger by chelsea g. summers what if girlbossing is just a quick pivot from sociopathy?? what if the crimes are so much more gratifying than say, fame or fortune or even love?? women can be sociopaths too, you know!! this one is fun bc the protag is crazy and it's fun to slip into these characters. cathartic even. omg did i mention, she's a foodie too! just like me :-)
#book recs#horror lit#halloween reading list#the centre#ayesha manazir siddiqi#slewfoot#brom#sister maiden monster#lucy a. snyder#mary: an awakending#nat cassidy#the last house on needless street#catriona ward#brother#ania ahlborn#the vegetarian#han kang#a certain hunger#chelsea g. summers
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Dating Gareth Emerson Headcanons
I love this man. So. Much. SO HERE!
Gareth is a bean
A bean with anger issues but anyways--
He has ADHD but nothing can distract him from you
Except for squirrels
He's like a puppy!
He curls up on your lap like a cat tho
Is touching you constantly
Holding your hand, kissing your cheek, hugging you from behind, playing with your hair
Gareth really, really loves when you ask him to teach you to play his drums?
He'll sit you on his lap
Or on the side of the stool (cough cough, Heartstopper--)
And he'll direct your hands
It's the softest thing ever
One time you got really mad and he let you take it out on his drums
You may have busted through one--
It sounded absolutely terrible but it helped you a lot
Gareth was watching in awe the whole time
"How did I get so lucky to get you?"
"What do you mean?"
"You just look so beautiful."
He doesn't really like those typical pet names like babe or baby
He hates them, actually (or he claims to, he thinks they'll make him seem less tough, so he calls you babe and baby and sweetheart when none of the Hellfire guys are around)
So he'll call you something like fruit loop or chick flick
It doesn't make any sense to anyone but you guys
It's so stupid
Specifically loves calling you the one thing that makes you blush in front of the Hellfire Club
Because they'll ask you about it and tease you about it for the rest of lunch/the campaign
He's always telling them to shut up but he loves it because it means you'll sit on his lap and bury your face in his neck
"Gareth, make them stop," You'll whine.
"I don't think I will," Gareth will whisper in your ear and rub up and down your back.
Gareth will either pay 100% attetion to you or the campaign there is no in between
He gets super invested and won't take his eyes off the dice or his character sheet
But when you're at his house, he will not take his eyes off you for a second
Unless you're in the bathroom
He's respectful
And random kisses?
Hard kisses, too
It's stupid, he knows, but he sees those couples making out against lockers and wishes it was you and him
And you've done it once or twice
Not in a crowded hallway though
Gareth likes showing you off but your kisses are private
Well, not all of them
Just like... the rough ones
Which is 90% of them
(I'm not even half done, hang on to your butts, brochacos)
Gareth gets jealous so easily
If he sees you talking to Eddie or Jeff or Mike or Dustin or Lucas or (Freak 1, as he's known--)
He will freak the fuck out
Hugging you from behind, tugging on your hair, pulling you away, distracting you
"Gareth, babe, stop it!"
"Yeah, but we're gonna be late!"
"... late for what?"
"EXACTLY! LET'S GO!"
Gareth Emerson cannot lie for shit
So you always know when he's just jealous and wants you all to himself
But like... you have a life.
He likes to smell your hair...
Don't take that the wrong way he just really loves the way it smells
The coconut or strawberry or whatever
And he likes running his hands through your hair
Short or long, he doesn't give a flying fuck as long as you like it
He kind of likes it long though because you taught him how to braid
He's not good at it but he likes doing it because it's rythmic and gives him something to do
"Gareth!"
"I didn't do it!"
"Yes, you did!"
He acts like a toddler and has the anger issues of one
Which is super adorable but you also hate it--
It's like babysitting for free
But you love him so it doesn't matter
He's so sweet, too
Gareth will do anything for you
Jump off a bridge? Of course! Stick his drumsticks in his ears and make stupid faces? Sure! Kiss you in the rain? ~Chick flick~ Put on heels and take a polaroid photo? ...*questioning your relationship* Yes.
He's a lil stupid but it's okay
"Gareth, can we go home now? I just wanna spend time with you."
"Oh, come on, we just got here! What's the rush?"
"Babe. Can we go, please?"
"Y/n, can we please stay here?"
"I want you."
"I want you, too, you're my girl/boy/theyfriend."
"You're an idiot."
Gareth loves when you play with his hair
Carding your fingers through it, fiddling with the ends of it, braiding it a lil bit because it looks so cute--
He's easily overwhelmed, probably
Only at like parties and shit, not that you go to a lot of those
But the few you do go to?
He's begging to get the fuck out of there
"Y/n, can we just go, I don't like this, there's too many people here--"
"Just a few more minutes, okay? Then I promise we can leave, baby."
Melts like butter under your fingers if you call him baby
Gareth absolutely adores being called baby
But not around his friends
He has a reputation to keep up!
Gareth will be tough around them and again, like a puppy with you
I present to you...
✨Gareth Emerson✨, the most underrated side character in Stranger Things
#gareth stranger things#stranger things 4#stranger things 4 volume 2#stranger things x reader#st4#stranger things imagine#st4 volume 2#gwydion lashlee walton#gareth emerson x reader#gareth emerson#Caden's sCribbles
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