#chelsea g. summers | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sinligh · 1 year

Text

In an alternative universe, i can imagine another version of myself

one in a stable relationship happy in the arms of a lover.

Toned down paranoia, and Indulgent pleasure.

I worry that that version of me is delusional

in love, but alone in it that I’ll somehow miss the signs of an emotionally absent partner the way I missed my father…

And yet, I’ll come up with excuses because I never felt comfortable with pointing my finger

that I’ll overcompensate.. Nest in the apex of their heart and believe that there’s no way higher

that the hierarchy is nothing but guilt inducing anger.

It's easy to love me;

i grew up in a household where it's acceptable to sacrifice your own soul in exchange of feeling like your existence is convenient.

As years went by, I learned to love that feeling eventually more than life itself..

i lost a lot of myself watching my mother hand feed me all that she is, all that she wanted to be, then sneak bites of who she was before she had me..

now, i think i can be whoever a lover needs me to be.

Then when they’re not around I’ll let my pieces fall down and hope that somehow they’ll align…

this terrifies me...

I don't want to settle and passive smoke my own life, set in the corner and inhale the damage even when it isn't mine.

I love love, I just don’t think it’s for me...

In a lecture about addiction, our doctor said

“The neurobiology of love is the same as neurobiology of addiction"

To me, that makes sense for i lose all my edges whenever I'm submerged in a wave of it.

My ends melt trying desperately to reach out even when i don't really know how to direct them to anyone other than myself

Paint them orbits to circle around me and feed them rays of hope

"our paranoia won't last forever"

At least that's what I whisper as i try to keep them close enough, not too much;

I don't want eternity

“I only wanna die someday”

I wrap them around me every night until i suffocate in an embrace trying to comfort all the atoms of love that are lost in me...

I’ll come to an end; and you'll be free.

•••

•Quotes: Roland Barthes/ Angelea Lowes/ Anaïs Nin/Mahmoud Darwish/Mary Oliver/ Ottessa Moshfegh/Elaine Kahn/ Natalie Wee/Carole Maso/Tracy K. Smith/Halsey/chelsea g. summers/ Anne Sexton.

•Original context: sinligh

•Art reference:

1. Art by Lisa Lach-Nielsen. 2.Quoted, 2008, oil on linen by Jen Mazza. 3. Choke, 2008, oil on linen by Jen Mazza. 4. Ceruse 87, 2008, oil on linen by Jen Mazza. 5. A girl with pomegranate (detail) by William-Adolphe Bouguereau. 6. An Interior with a woman seated by Lampligt by Christian Valdemar Clause Danish. 7. Photo by Soul Eom. 8. "two people" by Mila Plaickner. 9.Art by Lisa Lach-Nielsen

P.s: writing this felt like:

“It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me”

Song rec:

568 notes · View notes

luxe-pauvre · 6 months

Text

We talk about love like it’s an involuntary act. We fall into love, like a hole, a puddle, an elevator shaft. We never step mindfully into love. Love, we seem to think, requires a loss of control; love necessitates that vertiginous giving over to gravity; love wants you to have no choice. Your heart thumps because there’s danger and adrenaline in love. You lose yourself in love because you’ve displaced yourself. But dating sites and yentas, arranged marriages and speed dating, advise columns and blind dates, all argue that love is something we can manage, a losing that we can find. I suppose that if you walk into a minefield, you’re more likely to explode; if you walk a country lane in the dark, you’re more likely to trip; and if you put yourself in the path of dating, you’re more likely to fall in love. I maintain that love can’t simultaneously be an accident and a premeditated act, yet we treat it as if it is. It’s a necessary fiction, love’s oxymoronic nature. Love’s a contronym as sharp as “cleave” and twice as dangerous.

Chelsea G. Summers, A Certain Hunger

#Chelsea G. Summers #A Certain Hunger

65 notes · View notes

oddishfeeling · 7 months

Note

do you have any book recommendations? pls i need lots 💙💙

this is such a loaded question friend. but lucky for u, i am procrastinating assignments, my take out has yet to arrive, and i just finished another book!

horror fic has been my choice for the last several books

the centre by ayesha manazir siddiqi is about a young Pakistani woman living in the UK. she's a translator for Urduru films. language and translation are central to this book. people are becoming fluent in a matter of weeks in complex languages.... the centre is gorgeous if not entirely mysterious, magical even. but whats the catch?? beautifully written. vivid details. anisa is a flawed, honest, and genuine feeling mc, as are the people in her life. i just finished it a couple hours ago n i miss my girls.

slewfoot by brom is set in 17th century Connecticut. our protag, Abitha, is not from this town but she does he best to adhere to the Puritan standards, if not for her well being, than that of her husband's. something stirs in the outskirts of the village, in the forest and beyond. she finds help from an unlikely source while also fostering a deep inner power of her own. these characters felt so well thought out, the writing is magnetic and the action is well paced. it puts so many preconceived notions right on their head. i loved this book and can't wait to read brom's other novel, the child thief, a retelling of peter pan and the lost boys!

sister, maiden, monster by lucy a. synder was oh so gay and oh so cosmically horrendous. this is like h.p. lovecraft wasn't a weird racist. this is like if biblically accurate angels were once just women in love. this is horrifying, visceral, and relevant to our COVID world. i was gawking at so many of the details. there are so many monster themes actually, it's perfect. the story is told through 3 povs of 3 different women. and we love women! and horror! i didn't expect to pick this one up but I'm so glad i did.

mary: an awakening of terror by nat cassidy do u know what it's like to be virtually invisible? forgotten? disaffected? do u know the pure joy of having a precious collection, adding to it over time, and it being almost ur only reason for living anymore?? then you're a lot like mary. and mary is a lot like plenty of women who get the chance to live beyond adolescence, who are cast out by society-- deemed invaluable. mary is utterly lost at a time in her life she feels she should have it all figured out. she goes back to her hometown, an ambiguous small town in the middle of the desert, and some unlikely characters help her piece things back together. i finished this book feeling so close to mary. we are friends now. there is mystique, horror, fables, myths, bad guys, mysterious architecture, and well mary is not the most reliable narrator. loved this one too.

the last house on needless street by catriona ward i had no idea where this book was going and i loved piecing the narrative together through several characters and their povs. it forces u to confront ur own biases regarding mental health. u are sympathetic to the characters in the most painful, heart wrenching ways. there is murder. there is mystery. there is missing children. there are cats. this book surprised me and it was fun to have to find a couple reddit threads to be sure i was understanding the story correctly. i felt like i read this kind of fast! which is always fun too.

brother by ania ahlborn this one pissed me off a bit. but in a good way because i was so deeply invested. this one is set in Appalachia. i'm not one for stereotypes, especially bc i think Appalachians have a bad rep and it's of no fault of their own. that being said, the insular feel of the book and the absolute claustrophobia those mountains create in this story were like a character in it of itself. our protag, michael, knows there's something beyond. he's seen them on colorful postcards. but his own mind and his own heart seem utterly trapped here. this one is heartbreaking. it's horrifying. and it'll make u dizzy from the amount of times u change ur mind. excited to read her other novel, Seed, because this one stuck with me so much!

a couple honorable mentions that fit the theme:

the vegetarian by han kang korean food. infidelity. art. nightmares. inexplicable mindfucks! this story was scary because it felt very.. possible? no monsters this time. no spells. just... the mind deteriorating. could happen to any of us.

a certain hunger by chelsea g. summers what if girlbossing is just a quick pivot from sociopathy?? what if the crimes are so much more gratifying than say, fame or fortune or even love?? women can be sociopaths too, you know!! this one is fun bc the protag is crazy and it's fun to slip into these characters. cathartic even. omg did i mention, she's a foodie too! just like me :-)

#book recs #horror lit #halloween reading list #the centre #ayesha manazir siddiqi #slewfoot #brom #sister maiden monster #lucy a. snyder #mary: an awakending #nat cassidy #the last house on needless street #catriona ward #brother #ania ahlborn #the vegetarian #han kang #a certain hunger #chelsea g. summers

84 notes · View notes

yvain · 7 months

Text

#a certain hunger #chelsea g. summers #horror #quote #october #*

21 notes · View notes

bluebangsthepirate · 2 years

Text

feminine rage and consumption

i've been thinking a lot about books about womanhood in relation to consumption recently because of all the amazing literature i've read (the vegetarian by han kang, a certain hunger by chelsea g. summers, nightbitch by rachel yoder)

spoilers for all the books:

in the vegetarian, yeong-hye stops eating meat. throughout the course of the book she becomes malnourished, and eventually stops eating at all. the book follows a sort of transformation (metaphorical/literal). i interpreted as our existence being so linked to violence, whether that be the act of eating meat or the ways in which we treat one another.

in a certain hunger, dorothy is described to have always existed as someone who operates differently. she doesn't really empathize or care for others in a normal way. the act of killing men and eating them is her way of honoring the relationships she had with these men and the love they shared. but it is also born of the rage she feels as a woman existing in this world. and the most important relationship she has is with her friend emma. the conclusion of the novel is truly beautiful and heartbreaking, knowing the camaraderie and love between them, not even in spite of all the monstrosity that has occurred.

in nightbitch, the protagonist is also fueled by an anger that only women, more specifically mothers could understand. nightbitch grapples with the modern ideals of motherhood, giving up her job to be with her son, but also losing a part of herself. the animalistic instinct of wanting to be with your child but also the resentment of the unpaid labor and destruction of who you used to be. this is explored through her magical transformation into a dog. it manifests itself through the killing of animals and eating meat, still raw.

while these books all take very separate approaches on existence and womanhood in relation to consumption i found this underlying theme really interesting. whether it be to abstain from the violence as a form of protest, or to indulge and rejoice in the destruction. all take on an element of horrific but also beautiful. i have no conclusions as to what this all means, but i am curious as to others interpretations on the why of it all.

#nightbitch #rachel yoder #a certain hunger #chelsea g. summers #the vegetarian #han kang #bookish #feminine rage #literary analysis

227 notes · View notes

strawberry-library · 3 months

Text

studyblr weekly

(1.21-1.27)

total books read (2024): 4

Life Ceremony: 82%

A Certain Hunger: 8%

academic progress

Romantic-Era Literature: finished assigned readings; took quiz #1

French II: finished weekly homework

Literary Criticism: finished assigned reading; finished Plato study questions

Women Writers: finished weekly homework; finished weekly readings

Calculas: finished weekly homework; finished weekly notes

completed goals

go to the gym once (≈ 1 hour)

finished Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson

went home for the weekend

#dear diary #winter #studyblr #english major #french #calculas #academia #light academia #pink academia #life ceremony #book: life ceremony #sayaka murata #a certain hunger #book: a certain hunger #chelsea g. summers

6 notes · View notes

haveyoureadthishorrorbookpoll · 4 months

Text

Have you read...

note: If you did not finish but feel you read enough to form an opinion, you may choose a ‘Yes’ option instead of 'Partly' (e.g., Yes, I didn’t like it). Similarly, if you’ve never heard of a book until now but formed an opinion from this post, you may wish to select a “no” option e.g., “No, but I want to.”

Dorothy Daniels has always had a voracious - and adventurous - appetite. From her idyllic farm-to-table childhood (homegrown tomatoes, thick slices of freshly baked bread) to the heights of her career as a food critic (white truffles washed down with Barolo straight from the bottle) Dorothy has never been shy about indulging her exquisite tastes - even when it lead to her plunging an ice pick into her lover's neck. There is something inside Dorothy that makes her different from everybody else. Something she's finally ready to confess. But beware: her story just might make you wonder how your lover would taste sautéed with shallots and mushrooms and deglazed with a little red wine.

submit a horror book!

#A Certain Hunger #Chelsea G. Summers #horror books #horror #bookblr #books #thriller books #cannibalism #horrorbookpoll

4 notes · View notes

n0namey · 2 months

Text

A CERTAIN HUNGER – CHELSEA G. SUMMERS

if patrick bateman and hannibal lecter had a daughter

5/5 ★★★★★

#womanhood #girlblogging #books #literature #a certain hunger #hannibal lecter #patrick bateman #femcel #gaslight gatekeep girlboss #female manipulator #book review #book recommendations #books and reading #female rage #chelsea g. summers

4 notes · View notes

fairyysoup · 1 year

Text

sometimes the most profound musings on love are found in the book about a cannibalistic milf serial killer ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#it is what it is #a certain hunger #chelsea g. summers #rose shut up

16 notes · View notes

faayyyeee · 2 years

Text

#a certain hunger #chelsea g. summers

43 notes · View notes

sinligh · 9 months

Text

I’m my mothers favorite child; I’m full of sacrifices.

Hers and mine, and so many women before us Substituting security and affection with systematized delusions.

I'm falling down the rabbit hole, not because of curiosity, nor distraction. But because of something akin to reality call.

All the rage that belonged to my ancestors before me, spilt ink that I spend my days crying over

And i wonder if I’m the one dragging it along with me, or is it the emotion that keeps weighing me down.

I was raised to be paranoid mother said that will protect me when she’s not around..

Now, I’m just my mother’s child and I only know how to define versions of myself through her.

Always free, never enough.

A mother lullaby can blend into her child's bones, my mother used to lull me to sleep by humming

"I love you madly, enough to embrace you in my eyes and see the world through you as I cover you with my eyelids"

I’m my mother’s daughter, a wound that refuses to heal.

I poke at it every time I question how can i convince someone who spends days and nights writing and rewriting my future that i grew up to be blind to all that is prewritten ?

That l'm building a pathway for a little life In the shadows of dreams that are out of my reach

That silk sutures hold my organs in place and lies dressed in white sew me dreams that my brain didn't dare to conjure.

That i learned to dilute the amount of love I have for everyone in my life. I don't understand the whys and hows of it but I know that I'm at the stage of life where I don't love without guarding myself.

And I refuse to be punished for feeling anymore, even if it meant I'II only ever know rage.

Meaningless and absolute.

I lose my details as i go. Leaving tracks of my soul behind me.

I shed pieces that i don't know how to define, like a snake does its skin. The only difference is that a lot of my potential lay there underneath it.

I think i overlooked discipline in my journey to search for wildness and inspiration,

and it seems like the only consistent in my life is my desire to change.

I know empathy the way I know my father. Should be present; but isn't. And I'll never be my mother, doesn't matter how much of herself she sees in me.

•••

•Quotes:Elana Dykewomon/ Chelsea g. summers/Azra.T/Robert Goolrick/hayan charara/Hannah Green/Sylvia Plath/ Fariha Róisín

•original context: Sinligh

•Art reference:

1. Winged Goddesses. Psyche II - Nudes & Butterflies By Carsten Witte. 2.Winged Goddesses. Psyche Il - Nudes & Butterflies By Carsten Witte. 3.Winged Goddesses. Psyche Il - Nudes & Butterflies By Carsten Witte. 4. 2. Metamorphosis 2 by Giovanni Gestel. 5. My Crisis are Blessing by Andrea Galad. 6. Papillon |I" or "Woman in Wings", by Louis Icart. 7.Art by Will Kim. 8. Art by James Jean.

133 notes · View notes

luxe-pauvre · 6 months

Text

I don’t believe that everything happens for a reason — things happen because we make them happen — but sometimes the mystic reaches its long fingers through the ether and taps us on the breastplate.

Chelsea G. Summers, A Certain Hunger

#Chelsea G. Summers #A Certain Hunger

64 notes · View notes

andreai04 · 2 years

Text

“What is importance, anyway, but the weight of experience.”

19 notes · View notes

oksueco · 2 years

Text

“Time binds us, time flattens us out, time makes us familiar. So much time, so many people.”

Excerpt From

A Certain Hunger

Chelsea G. Summers

#a certain hunger #chelsea g. summers #book quotes #literature

8 notes · View notes

strawberry-library · 2 months

Text

just finished A Certain Hunger. overall, without spoiling too much,

what i liked:

the connections between food consumerism, sex, and capitalism. and the cannibalism. we love cannibalism as a metaphor of a deeper theme.

Dorothy as a killer: she’s selfish and narcissistic; she only wants her victims to be linked to her until her legacy fades away (something killers, serial or not, may end up doing).

what i didn’t like:

the style of writing is VERY prose-heavy, which is a style that depends on the book for me

because of that, the book comes off as too pretentious. it’s fine to have a pretentious narrator, but I think this book went too far some times.

#berry filled with thoughts #a certain hunger #thriller #chelsea g. summers #book: a certain hunger #academia #dark academia

2 notes · View notes

bellscansada · 2 years

Text

My birthday was last week and my friend got me this book because I was gushing about the cover (it was made by a painter from the XVII century named Bernardino Mei). I just read the first chapter and I’m SOLD.

#books #bookish #a certain hunger #chelsea g. summers #livros #livro #booklr #current read #currently reading #book

2 notes · View notes