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hopefulromances · 7 months

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I Feel You - Jamie Tartt x demi!Reader

A/N: Hello to my faithful followers! I'm sorry I've been so inactive for the past couple weeks I've been down in the dumps and sorta uninspired.

But the crazy thing is I've hit 1k followers! What? How is that even possible! I'm planning to put together a little celebration soon but for now, here's an unrequested fic that I wrote featuring a demi!reader on the acespec!

See y'all soon!

Words: 2.2k

Warnings: Fem!Reader (she/her pronouns), Drunkenness, I think that's it

OooO

Jamie had to be the lamest footballer in the world. It was a Friday night and instead of going out and finding a club to get drunk at, he was sitting on his couch reading a bloody book. Fucking Roy Kent had gotten to him, that bastard. He wasn’t expecting anyone to come by so when there was a knock on the door, Jamie was surprised.

There on his doorstep was (Y/N). Pacing, wobbly, back and forth seemingly trying to take off her shoes without sitting down.

“(Y/N)?” He opened the door, turning on the porch light.

(Y/N) was someone Jamie had been friends with for a long time. Longer than anyone else, maybe. She’d grown up with im in Manchester, and gone to college in London when he got called up. When he was busy being a prick and cutting people out of his life, she stayed, refusing to be cut. And here she was, drunk on his doorstep.

She spun in spot, her eyes lighting up when she saw him. “Jamie!”

She fell forward onto him in a sloppy hug. Jamie caught her in his arms, realizing with a chuckle that she was beyond wasted. He hoisted her up so she was tucked into his side so he could properly assist her while closing the door and turning off the lights.

“Jamieee,” She sang, sweetly, pulling Jamie with all her might to get them to topple over.

“At least one of us had a good night,” Jamie muttered.

“It was ‘meh’,” (Y/N) admitted, shrugging. “Felt all wonky all night.”

Jamie pulled her into his bathroom, sitting her down on the toilet seat. She slumped back, as it finally feeling her exhaustion. He filled up his water cup and handed it to her, having to help her put her hand on and grip the cup.

“Drink,” he instructed.

“It’s like, I’m over here, looking and waiting,” she continued, pausing for a second to glug down a large sip of water. “And everyone else is over there. Falling in love, dating, kissing, and I’m just,” she made a raspberry with her mouth.

Jamie found a cloth and the bottle of makeup remover she’d left at his house one time, dabbing some of the serum on the cloth. He walked back over to her, kneeling so he could be at eye height with her.

“Mmhmm,” he hummed, starting to dab at her face like she’d taught him.

“Why can’t I feel that, Jamie?” She whined, leaning into his touch. “Why can't I just find a dude and just kiss him? What’s wrong with me?”

Jamie frowned, pausing his dabbing for a moment. “What do you mean, darling?”

“I just mean,” now she was frowning too. “I try to go on dates, hook up with random guys, and I just feel… nothing.” Jamie, pursed his lips, moving the cloth gently over her face. Her eyes fluttered closed as he swished over her eyelids delicately. “But I’m so tired of waiting… I don’t want to settle anymore.”

“You shouldn’t have to settle,” Jamie agreed softly.

“But I also don’t want to be alone forever,” she opened her eyes and Jamie stopped washing her face.

“You won’t be alone forever,” he droned. This was a conversation they’d had before. She was afraid she’d never find the one, and Jamie reassured her that she would. Of course, she would. She was beautiful, and funny, and headstrong in all the important ways.

“I’ve only ever liked one person, in my whole entire life,” she hiccuped. “And he…”

“He what, love?” Jamie went to stand but she grabbed onto his pants, stopping him from moving away. He looked down and she looked very small. He’d never seen her look so small before.

“He’s been my best friend since we were kids,” she muttered, looking up at him. “When I look at him, I feel this flutter in my chest. And no matter how hard I try to feel that with other people, I just can’t.” She looked between his eyes. “I can’t.”

Jamie could feel his heart pounding in his chest, his blood rushing in his ears. Was she saying what he thought she was saying? She couldn’t be. Either way, she needed to go to bed.

“You… uh… you can stay here tonight, yeah?” He took the cup from her hand and filled it back up. “I’ll go put out some sleep clothes in the guest bed.”

She looked disappointed when he didn’t acknowledge her rambling, but she nodded, taking a pitiful sip from her cup of water. He watched her a moment before pounding on the sink and walking out to grab a shirt for her.

As he set up the bed for her, his mind was racing through what she had said. The best friend from childhood that she’d liked forever. It couldn’t be him… could it? Not after everything he’d put her through.

When he walked back to the bathroom, she’d fallen asleep on the toilet. Chest rising and falling steadily, her eyelashes resting against her cheeks. His chest fluttered as he looked at her, a gentle smile coming over his lips. He slid one arm under her legs and another around her back, resting her head on his shoulder. She curled into him immediately, nestling her nose into his neck.

He brought her to the room, he’d set up maneuvering her carefully so he could take her clothes off. She’d changed in front of him before, felt comfortable around him, but he still was careful of his hands and quickly putting on more comfortable clothes.

She mumbled incoherently as he laid her down and pulled the covers over her. His hand rested on her cheek for a moment, her face slightly flushed from her night out. He was tempted to get in the bed with her, keep her safe and warm in his arms but he swatted that thought away quickly. Instead he leaned down and pressed a kiss to her temple.

The next morning when he woke up, he went to check on her, but she wasn’t in the room. Then he heard humming and the smell of bacon filling the air. He padded down the steps and saw her in the kitchen, cooking and sipping on his coffee like she owned the place. He shoved his tongue in his cheek to stop himself from laughing as he watched her.

She spun around, dancing to the song in her head, yelping and freezing when she saw him.

“Oh!” She sighed, throwing her hand over her heart when she realized it was him. “Jamie! You scared me.”

“Scare you? This is my house, you know,” Jamie laughed, leaning across the island.

She rolled her eyes, sliding a cup of coffee across to him. “Two creams, one sugar, yeah?”

Jamie looked down at the coffee, knowing Roy would kill him if he took a sip. ‘Your body is a temple’ and ‘caffeine is a drug’ and whatever, but she was looking at him so sweetly there was no way he could say no to it. So, he reached down and took a sip.

“That’s it, yah,” it tasted perfect. No one else made his coffee like she did. “Do you know how you ended up here?”

She slowed her cooking for a second. He couldn’t see her face, she was turned facing the wall, but he saw her back tense just the slightest bit.

“Uh… I don’t remember, really,” (Y/N) answered. “Just woke up here… figured it was just where I thought I’d be safest.”

Jamie felt his cheeks heat up, trying to hide it by taking a sip of his coffee. “You, eh, were out with the girls?”

She turned around, sliding the bacon onto the two plates she’d set out. She was deep in thought, he could tell by the way she picked the skin off her lip, reaching up to pull a piece of hair out of her face.

“Yeah…” she whispered. “It was Larsen’s birthday. Wanted to go have a hot girl night. Find some guys to go home with.”

Ah. Now he got it. She’s gone out with her friends and they’d all gone home with guys and she was left alone. She was upset because she thought she was unwanted. He grimaced at her.

“Did Larsen ditch you again? I told you to stop hanging out with her,” Jamie comforted, reaching to grab a piece of bacon. (Y/N) didn’t answer, she just stared down at the greasy meat on her plate. “Oh, c’mon, (Y/N), you can’t really believe that because of one bad night that no one wants you.”

She furrowed her brow, shaking her head. “No that’s….” She looked up at him, looking back and forth between his eyes. “Do you really think that I couldn’t find one person to go home with?”

Now Jamie was confused. He pursed his lips, not sure how to answer.

“He was great. Attractive enough, I suppose, saying all the right things,” she mumbled, suddenly unable to meet his eyes. “We chatted for a while. But I just felt… nothing.” Her fist open and closed as she fought the nervous energy. “He was kissing me, holding me, doing all the things that should have made me feel… something. But it was like… I felt nothing! It was like there was something blocking my brain from just latching onto something random.”

“He was… kissing you?” Jamie cringed as he said it. He wasn’t sure exactly why he’d said it and she looked at him like she was crazy.

“Yes, he was,” she scoffed, running a hand through her hair. “He wanted to do a lot more but I couldn’t feel it. I didn’t feel anything.” She rested her elbows on the counter, her head in her hands. “God, what is wrong with me? Every other person we went out with went home with whatever stranger they’d met that night. But me? I feel so… stunted.”

Jamie was surprised by her sudden admission. It wasn’t something he’d felt before, but he wanted her to feel the things he felt for her. The care and softness that he felt for her.

“I know I want it,’ she continued. “I feel it sometimes… for… one person. He knows me and I know him. And I try to get myself to get over it, to feel it for someone else. Anyone else, but no matter how hard I try. I just… can’t feel it.” She shook her head, pushing herself off the island. “Sorry, I don’t know where that came from.”

Jamie stayed still for a moment, figuring out his thoughts.

“S’okay,” he finally responded. “I’m sorry you feel like that, you deserve to feel loved and wanted.”

Her eyes snapped back up to his, her cheeks turning red, spreading up to her ears. Jamie moved around to the other side of the island so he was right next to her, leaning against her side. She kept staring straight forward, her eyes turning shiny with unshed tears.

“You said… there was one person,” he implored, pursing his lips into a duck shape. “One person who you felt something for.”

She nodded, not speaking, brushing her eyes furiously.

“Who… who is that person,” he asked.

She let out a shaky laugh, cocking her head before looking up at him.

“I think you know,” she replied quietly, sucking her bottom lip into her mouth. He looked at her, letting his hand slide down to intertwine with hers. Her breathing hitched and her chest started to heave. “Jamie, wait, please.” She stared at their entwined hands, scared that it was going to go away. “I can’t… I’m not like other girls. I can’t give you what you want, not right away, maybe not for a long time.”

Jamie shook his head, moving his free hand up to touch her face. “I don’t want that, all I want is to make you feel loved. All I want is for you to feel how you deserve to feel. And I’m willing to wait however long it takes, and to do whatever it takes to make sure that you feel that love.”

“Oh, Jamie,” she gasped out, reaching up to touch his face too. They stood in the kitchen, the soft morning light dappling in through the windows, holding each other's faces. He looked between her lips and her eyes. “Jamie?”

“Yeah?”

“You can kiss me.”

His eyes were big and wanting as he looked at her. “Are you sure? Like really sure, like you aren’t just saying it to make me happy?”

“No, Jamie, I want it.”

The words scarcely left her mouth when he cut her off, pressing his lips to hers. And there it was. She felt it. She felt that electricity that her friends had talked about. It rocked through her, stealing her breath away as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, his coming to creep up her back, lifting her up slightly.

“Can you feel that, love?” he hummed, in between kisses. “Can you feel how much I love you?”

“I can feel it,” she responded, pulling back to look up at him. “I can feel you.”

#jamie tartt #jamie tartt x reader #ted lasso #ted lasso show #jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt x y/n #jamie tartt fanfiction #fluff #angst #demisexual #demi reader #ace spec

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1-49 · 3 months

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third times’s a charm

pairing: f!reader × chanyoung, sungchan ⁝ tags: rain. tokyo. & love at first sight / fluff. gets lil angsty. wc. 3.1k

note: this has been in my drafts ever since those two pictures dropped, & basically, this whole thing is just an extension of what sorta of mood they inspired. ik it’s kind of late but i love the atmosphere, so im posting it anyway.

All this waiting ─── Holding out for the storm to pass. Stuck in traffic and waiting. Waiting for the bus at a crowded bus stop.

Since the idiotic weather app on your phone was unable to foresee such a severe downpour, you are without an umbrella. You find yourself standing like a cat caught in the rain after spending a perfect sunny afternoon exploring Tokyo’s streets.

Neither the metro nor the two buses that have come & gone are going in your direction. More room and privacy for yourself as the majority of passengers board the buses and lessen the crowded, small, glassed station—for which you are grateful. After trying your luck twice, you are stuck waiting for the third bus.

The peculiar scent of rain on asphalt fills your nostrils as you accept your bad luck & attempt to take solace in the rain, the foggy lights of the passing traffic & the bright neon signs that give the city its unique flavor. There are a variety of sounds in the street, ranging from soft and loud to melodic and even disorienting.

You seem like such a loser out in the rain. The end effect of running so fast and not caring where you step is clumps of hair and muddy shoes, followed by ten minutes of waiting. You are glad you didn’t wear too much makeup for today’s walk because you’d have looked like a total wreck. Smugly, you try to adjust your mascara and eyeshadow in your little mirror and pretend it’s fine.

And so, you concentrate on the raindrops as they land in a specific dip in the pavement, creating tiny air bubbles that rise to the surface like bubbles in a champagne glass. This little world seems to be what fascinates you about Tokyo at the moment, despite its vast size.

That is when the two giants casually stroll into the safe haven you have found in all the fast life.

The two towering frames jostle one another in this terrifying performance that the sky is putting on, laughing at something so ridiculous that you have to wonder how they can do it. The evening sky is practically ripping at its seams, but they do not seem to notice.

Their laughter is contagious as they battle for space under a transparent umbrella that the taller one is holding. Their bodies are too broad for the protective gear, and they seem to lose simultaneously because most of their opposing shoulders and arms are soaked. For the tiny spaciousness they seek but don’t find, the pair comes across as endearing and humorous. You realize there is beauty in the fact that neither of them seems to mind. They remain upbeat and truly unaffected, which is inspiring.

That they are close friends is highly likely. They are even dressed alike. One is wearing green cargo pants and the other over-dye jeans, both with black upper apparel.

They could be mistaken for twins due to their dangerous synchronicity. Not like born together. Not fused like the two sides of an oyster encasing a precious pearl. However, exactly opposites, much like the two sides of a mirror. Equally stunning, and in their case, the pearl is their friendship.

The sounds of the city fade, and you feel every nook and cranny in your body thudding as you witness them make the spontaneous decision to wait for a bus.

The ‘polar twins’ resemblance they give off is unfair.

While the cargo boy’s carefree demeanor gives hours of silly photos and odd Tik Toks, funny videos, and Twitter drama, the headphones hanging around his neck pay close and serious attention to music, which you thoroughly appreciate. This particular aspect of him almost instantly makes you fall in love.

But the taller boy doesn’t fall behind either;

he closes the umbrella as soon as he enters the glassed area. His hand clasped around his brown cashmere cardigan radiates warmth and comfort, and his strikingly bare collarbones radiate needs and dreams. His contradictory aura clouds your judgment and prevents you from making further assumptions about his interests in basketball, games, and literature.

The tip of the umberlla accidentally bumps into your arm when he closes it, revealing his slight clumsiness.

His regret is evident in his eyebrows even before he says, “Sorry.” His eyes widen with it. Lovely and compassionate, with a hint of mocha. Like there is freshly brewed coffee swirling around inside his crystals.

Sparks shimmer up your arms as you watch and listen to his apology and say that it’s nothing.

The music boy’s position is to your left, as the ‘clumsy’ guy shifts to your right, which he does not realize until he apologizes.

With obvious happiness, the music boy inserts himself and begins to tease him. “He acts that way all the time, so don’t worry. If his good looks don’t work to get him noticed, he will try playing on his clumsiness.”

You can be sure that the ‘clumsy’ guy is pouting and sulking over the nonsense that was just said, even though your eyes are finally turning to the person who is seeking them.

There is an eternal smile on the face of the goofier of the two. One of those smiles that can break through the clouds and stop the rain. A ray of light, really. He breaks through the barriers of your heart with his quiet voice too. The fact that he can capture your heart with such ease and beauty is just a crime.

They may have looked the same in one frame, but now that they are essentially standing on either side of you, they are starting to show more of their charm. It gets harder to be between two extremely attractive giants as their individuality starts to emerge.

You have a sneaking suspicion that the boy you are looking at is the younger one.

And while the bright colors of the city match his mischievousness, his confidence has a short fuse. This becomes apparent when he stops coming up with new jokes for his friend and stays staring at you for longer than fifty seconds.

Before you know what the two of you are doing, his smile spreads across your face like sunlight does on tulips in the early spring. It’s an inadvertent eye lock until he realizes it’s too much. It really melts your heart to discover that he is a shyer one, and you end up melting right into the rain puddle that is at your feet.

You then take up your previous posture, facing forward. For a brief while, they distracted you from the fact that you were waiting for a bus to the hotel. As you take a big swallow, there is an odd quietness among the three of you.

You cannot help but wish that some of them would speak up and say something. Why you want this to go on is beyond you, but you want it to. Their bodies radiate a warmth that suffocates you while simultaneously providing warmth against the chilly autumn breeze. This brings you back to the point where you’re mentally cursing your app for tricking you because you were totally unprepared for today’s outing.

‘Soft eyes’, as in literally, hands you the sweather he was holding as soon as he notices that you’re shivering.

It pains you to try to turn down his offer, but you do.

Still, he refuses to accept it. “You can give it back as soon as one of our buses arrives. Keep it till then.” Ignoring your protests, he carefully places the soft wool in your hands. You have no choice but to comply with his insistence. “Besides, I don’t need it.”

You raise your gaze to him and once more meet his eyes—this time with a smile added.

You remember that when he bumped into you, he was trying to hide a smile so that he could apologize more sincerely, which means you haven’t been a witness to his smile just yet.

However, his smile has the same profound effect on you as the guy on the other side. You are sure the sun is in his heart too, just as much as it’s in his eyes. His kindness is his beauty. Very soft; almost as soft as a ball of cashmere, or similar to his cardigan’s overly long sleeves as you play with them.

Given their earlier recklessness, you would never have trusted two random boys to be this kind. So gracious as to lay you two of their favorite accessories in your possession.

One is keeping you warm, and the other, after being prodded to share the song he has been working on, is putting his headphones on you and letting his joy seep through your ears to your bones.

Feeling a little more shy, his breath hits your face, tense and warm as he’s inside. He is pulsing with understanding so as not to invade your personal space while practically failing. As if you couldn’t have done it yourself, he decides to put his headphones on you abruptly. A current is all that is moving him, and not a single conscious brain cell is applying any kind of brake.

The color hits his cheeks when your gaze meets halfway again. He’s being cheeky, though, when he asks, “Are you ready?” while towering over you.

He presses play on the song he composed after you nod with equal enthusiasm.

With the ‘soft guy’ on the right, you’re a little more confident, but when it comes to the ‘shy boy’ in front, you are a complete mess. The prospect that he’s equally as wreaked as you are is the primary cause of your emotions. They are deeply affecting you both, and even though you would prefer to hide in the next bush, you are pursuing each other naively and playfully.

Your smiles are getting bigger as you gaze at one another, but his is weaker, more fragile, as in ‘until the piece I composed gets your pass, I am afraid.’

You close your eyes because you don’t have enough in you to match that.

The outside world ceases to matter as the ambient composition intensifies and begins to resolve inside you.

You explode at the slightest touch from a ‘soft boy’ who leans in close and tries to listen through your headphones.

Since he also expressed dissatisfaction over never having heard the music, you try to be understanding and let him into your space too. He was unable to listen to it earlier due to the ‘it is not completed’ statements. This was his chance. And so, you acknowledge that this evening, everything came together to allow the two of you to feel the excitement of being the first to hear something so exquisite.

The storm itself, you can swear, ceased.

Though the sound of life is muffled by the composition in your eardrums, you can somewhat hear three heartbeats pounding in time with the music. It feels as though nothing matters and yet everything has led up to this.

‘Music boy’ watches your reactions as both of you remain silent, neither of you speaking to disturb the bliss.

This rescue is slow-moving and pleasant compared to Tokyo’s fast life. You find a brief moment of inner tranquility after so much running, fury at the weather, and anger towards the electronic device in your back pocket.

Entirely, you lose yourself in the song, and the way your lashes curl to soften the likely pictures that appear beneath your lids is proof of this. It seems that even in Tokyo, things can come to a stop.

Like a drop of rain in the countryside, your smile is sincere and pure. That is what he has composed, and that is what this is. He has awakened that within you.

Clarity and translucence—opposing to the densely scented city air, which is heavy with the smell of burned street meat and motor oil.

As distinct as the boys standing next to you, everything has a raw beauty.

When you turn to face the taller one, you find that your noses are almost in contact because of how close the headphones have brought his face to yours.

His most beautiful features are dripping with admiration as he gives you the thumbs up. Although you find the signal confusing, you nod because you think it is abrupt and cute.

Upon turning to face the musical prodigy as you currently perceive him—you having no prior knowledge of him—he grins more than ever.

With great anticipation, he asks, “And!?”

“I wish I had a better word to describe it, but it is rather majestic. The melody is lovely and seems to pour love and tranquility indefinitely. It made me feel better. Basically, thank you, is all I have to say.”

“It truly did the same for me,” remarks the tall guy, nodding. “You know, he never lets us listen to his music,” he adds, moving in closer to give the younger person a sweet shoulder shake. “This guy!!”

They both laugh it off, just like they did when they walked in beside you. They are unaware that, with those smiles, they have taken everything from you. However, as soon as you peek at the bus in the distance, read aloud your hotel’s street address, and confirm that it is your route, their smiles become lifeless and hollow almost instantly. In the same instant, the hope that they both brought about vanishes. There is a bittersweet sensation.

Even though you all know the end is near, it seems like no one anticipated it.

All of it comes crashing down: the rain, the hope, the magic, and all three of your desperate sets of eyes that cannot stop staring into each other’s faces. Each microsecond, millisecond, and second matters. Everything was brief at first, then prolonged, and finally just brief again.

“It’s time to return this,” you utter as you remove the cardigan.

Given how chilly the owner’s hands are once you skin-brush them, the wool should feel even warmer in his hands after you return it.

“You must have frozen because of me,” you point out, brows knitted in concern. “I am so sor—”

“No, I am fine, don’t apologize,” he cuts in, unlocking the umbrella as he comes to his senses and accepts the arrival of reality. To protect you from the rain until you board the bus, he says, “Here,” giving you room to move under the umbrella.

Initially, you pout, believing that rejecting him would be best, but eventually, you stop yourself and follow his instructions exactly. It’s time to savor every moment, even if it’s just spending a little time together under an umbrella, before you part ways with them and never see them again.

You remove your headphones and give them back to the cutest prodigy you have ever met. “You should start having more faith in the things you create. That was really beautiful.”

“Thank you!!” The umbrella boy exclaims in his name. “Someone at last to make him begin to realize.”

The younger boy defends himself, smiling, “Shut up.” And, even though he’s well aware that the umbrella was never meant to fit both of them, much less three people, he’s still attempting to squeeze himself under it.

You guys are all biting smiles; there is such innocence and purity to the compressed situation all of you are in. This feeling is far more intense than what you experienced as a teenager witnessing your crash in the hallways. Greater than the scorching feeling you experienced on your first kiss. Which, on the other hand, makes this even more heartbreaking than the first time your heart broke. There is something odd about it all, and it has been a long day at that.

You stay sandwiched between their bodies, which rise on both sides of you as sturdy as a brick wall. You regretfully realize that you cannot be imprisoned between them forever, even though for a brief moment you wish you could.

You can sense the peculiar chemistry has subdued the storm, and it even appears to be stopping the rain. And as it draws near the bus stop, the bus finally lets out its sharp, piercing ‘pissss’ sound. You’re thinking somewhere in the back of your mind about how this sound is going to become your least favorite sound. The noise that will always bother you the most because it’s ruining something so beautiful.

When you look into their faces, all you see is gold dust smeared in their eyes. “I’m glad our paths crossed,” you eventually admit.

They return with the same admiration, though with a sorrowful smile.

They wait until after you get on the bus. They wait for you to get comfortable, knowing that you will take their side and catch your farewell look out the window.

That is precisely what you do; you approach the first seat with that same thought in mind. Rain cascades down the glass, and the windows are a little foggy and difficult to see through due to the warmth inside.

Inside and around your heart, there is a heavy, funny feeling. You make an effort to clear the fog from the window but the moment feels so so hopeless as the bus starts to move. In actuality, all you’re doing is wiping the mist as you attempt to wave goodbye and get a good look at them for the last time. Still, it’s too late.

All that is left to do is gaze for a brief while at the vanishing landscape, registering absolutely nothing.

Finally, you tilt your head back and sigh at the biggest sigh ever. There is a distant echo of a Japanese woman’s voice coming from the bus radio. When you turn on your phone, the first thing you see is your camera folder.

It’s inexplicable why you thought it was necessary to take a picture of them with your phone while simultaneously taking one with theirs. You are left puzzled, staring at the most recent two pictures in your folder.

‘Love is a captured moment,’ you used to say. You get the impression that life is making fun of you.

It becomes really annoying to swipe between the two photos. Their boyfriend vibe is unmatched. Imagination takes over. It seems as though you have never desired anything more.

You carefully touch the screen to enlarge the images, capturing their faces with your fingertips. The attractive strangers in the photos are names you will never know.

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babybluebex · 2 months

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ok wait but now imagining paul not so subtly trying to get dom to ask out costar!you 😭😭 like imagine dom's just too nervous to ask you out to dinner or something after wrapping up a scene and paul's like 😒 and ASKS FOR DOM 💀 so paul going "hey, dom invited me out for dinner, which of course i'm flattered, but im a bit too old for him.....you should take my place!" and dom in the background looking absolutely mortified. cue confused reader !!

i also have been hallucinating this one small moment where you finished filming a bit later in the day compared to dom so you didn't get to eat yet. you show up to your trailer and see dom and he's like "finally im starving! burgers or pizza?" and you're like "girl what." and he's like "you haven't eaten yet and i wanted to eat with you" and you're just like "WHAT!" (🥹) and he's like "so pizza AND burgers?"

idk i need to go to sleep.

ugh my FAV idea is paul and da'vine watching you two being IDIOTS who don't see that you're falling for each other, and you tell da'vine how much you like dom but you're too nervous to say anything, and dom tells paul that he doesn't think he's good enough for you, and paul and da'vine collude to get yall together bc CLEARLY yall aren't gonna do it on your own

just little things at first, filming a scene outside and paul mumbles to dom "she looks cold... maybe you oughta give her your scarf" and dom does it without hesitation, and you smile at dom and paul is like success, or you and da'vine are cooking (bc ALL THE FOOD IN THE MOVIE WAS REAL AND AT LEAST PARTIALLY COOKED BY DA'VINE) and she "accidentally" overcooks a pan of brownies, and she says "go give them to the boy, he'll eat em" and you do, and dom is all red in the face and adores the gesture, and da'vine is back in the kitchen thinking like those kids are SO dumb

and it escalates in their poking and prodding, and dom tells paul one night "i just— i've never had any luck with girls" and paul is like "jesus christ, kid, see the writing on the wall! for the past six weeks, you've been worshiping this girl and she's been the same, and we wrap in a week, either ask her to dinner or shut up about it!" and he settles down and goes "sorry, that was mean. what i meant was—" but the snap of reality was exactly what dom needed to get off his ass, and he goes and finds you that very moment, and you're sitting chatting with da'vine, and you smile at dom as he enters the room "hey man! what's up?" and you notice his red cheeks and the intense look on his face, and you start to ask what's the matter, but he beats you to it, grabbing your face and kissing you, and you initially push him away "what the hell?" and he just all in one breath says "i think you're really beautiful and you're funny and silly but so caring and passionate, you take care of me even when you don't need to, because why would you need to, i'm a grown man, i can take care of myself, but i love the way you play with my hair and fall asleep on my shoulder during movie night, and we wrap in a week and i don't think i could live with myself if i didn't at least tell you how i feel, and paul says you feel the same way, and i usually believe whatever he says without hesitating, but i sorta worry he's wrong about it, so—" and you kiss him again to keep him quiet and you can't see her behind you, but da'vine is grinning bc fucking finally

and dom is a SWEETHEART when it comes to that second part. you had to film a scene that went on longer than expected, and dom has been wrapped for the day for a while, and the shoes you wore for the scene hurt your feet and you're tired and your body hurts and you just wanna lay down, and you get to your trailer and see the light on inside when you know you left the light off that morning, and you go in, and dom's got it all set up for you, an ocean of blankets on the couch and a pizza on your counter, and he's on the couch, remote in hand, navigating thru netflix, and you're like "the fuck is this?" and he's all puppy eyes at you "i knew you had a hard day, so i wanted to... i don't know, make it easy or something. i got your favorite pizza, and i washed these blankets so they smell nice and they just came out the dryer so they're still warm, and i'm trying to find that show you like but i can't find it, how do you spell 'derry'" and your face crumples up as you start to cry, and dom's face goes WHITE and he shoots up "oh god, i'm sorry, what did i do?" and he comes over and gingerly hugs you, and you cry into his neck and can barely gasp out "n-nothing's wrong, i-i'm just tired!" and he shushes you "maybe a little hangry too?" and you just "mhm" into his skin "that's what i thought, honey, c'mon sit down, i've got you" and that makes you cry harder and he's just sorta "... i'm really bad with girls, do you want me to let go and kick rocks, or..." and you just whimper "i've never had a boyfriend be so nice to me" and dom feels his heart shatter "jesus, really? what sorta guys have you been dating? cuz i— look at me, baby, look into my eyes— i like you. a whole lot. but i care about you too, and i care about the fact that you feel like shit and had a bad day, and because i like you so much and i care about you, i just wanna... just wanna make sure you're ok. ok?" and you sniffle and nod, and he ducks his head to get his face in your lowered eyeline "ok??" and you sorta huff out a laugh "oh, c'mon, you can do better than that. i'm not letting go of you until you give me a real laugh. even if it's fake, pretend it's real" and you roll your eyes and he sorta shakes you "c'mon, you can do it. or do i need to start singing at you? because i can!" and you start to slink away from him, but he pulls you in close and kisses your head "go get into some pjs, i brought one of my shirts for you to wear, it's on your bed with those sweatpants you wear all the time" and by the time you get changed and grab a slice of pizza and get settled on the couch in dom's arms, you realize he's not eating "you're not hungry?" "nah not really..." and it's only after you're full that he reveals the truth to you "i haven't eaten all day. i wanted you to eat all you wanted and not have to worry about me :)"

#i need to sleep too bestie #bex answers #anon ask #dominic sessa x reader

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the-heart-of-a-monster · 5 months

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PUTTING THE NEW PAGE INTO THIS ASK AS WELL FOR GHE FIRST TIME BECAUSE THERE IS A LOT TO TALK ABOUT WITH THIS PAGE SO PLEASE BEAR WITH ME HERE

Ima start with the first panel because there’s already so much in that one single panel and it is gonna drive me nuts!

So first up, we have “Secret” Chaotix meeting room. Yes, this place is apparently being kept a secret from the public eye. This could be due to the Chaotix having to handle a bunch of super deep and disturbing cases that, if allowed to spill out into the public, would be catastrophic! Not in the sense that it would destroy the world or anything like that, but it’d certainly ruin their reputation as detectives! Don’t detectives irl have these kinds of cases too…? Or maybe I’m thinking too hard on this and it’s just the place they meet with their friends whenever Eggman does something stupid? Who knows.

I do know though that it looks beautiful and it looks like they’re actually in a room which, as an amateur artist myself, can only dream of achieving!! It looks so cool! I just… I adore your backgrounds and I can tell you put a lot of love and effort into making them, so please give yourself a pat on the back!

And maybe I’m reading too much into a single panel.

But that’s not all that we get to see!!! (No I’m not talking about the Chaotix even though I REALLY wanna talk about the Chaotix cuz they deserve more love and I’m so glad they’re here THANK YOUUUUUUUU) YEAH THAT’S RIGHT, SONIC IS FULLY CONVERTED TO DARK GAIA SONIC LET’S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Well not fully converted, but we can clearly see that it’s taking a huge toll on his body! Not only are the markings now visible on him during the day, but it also seems to be siphoning his energy…? Kind of…? I mean, Sonic has been out cold since “Killing” Omega, and usually he wouldn’t be so out of it otherwise. And I can see a little tiny X over his Gaia eye, so… I’m not too sure, but what I am sure of is that this is BAD for Sonic. The poor guy is gonna have to deal with not only being corrupted during the day, but also at night, and that cannot be good for his psyche. It was bad enough when he had to be in a completely new body for just the nighttime, but now it’s for both day and night in its own way, and… Gosh, this is gonna be torture for Sonic once he wakes up.

Okay now onto the actually lore panels because there is so much to uncover but BEFORE WE GET INTO THE LORE PARTS OF ALL THAT LEMME JUST POINT OUT HOW PISSED SHADOW LOOKS IN THE SECOND PANEL BRO LOOKS LIKE HE WANTS TO PUNT CHIP INTO THE SUN FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER AND HE IS JUST SO OVERPROTECTIVE OF SONIC IT’S NOT EVEN FUNNY I LOVE THIS ANGSTY EDGY BOY SO MUCH BUT I WANNA KNOW WHAT IS GOING THROUGH HIS HEAD RIGHT NOW WHY IS HE GLARING DAGGERS AT CHIP WHAT DID THIS LITTLE CREECHUR EVEN DO TO YOU SHADZ

Okay back to the lore-

So, im still gonna call Light Gaia as Chip because I still see a cute adorable fluffy fairy in those big brown eyes and I think he deserves a real name. Anyhow, Chip now is aware of him being a literal god. He says he regulates the day and Dark Gaia regulates the night. This kind of makes sense. Chip handles the sun and DG handles the moon. Think Luna and Celestia from MLP. And similar to those two as well, Dark Gaia got out of control like Luna did and created an eternal night. But this doesn’t really explain the planet splitting into a million giant pieces. (Not literally a million) Nor does it explain Chip losing his memory. Chip claims that whenever one of them falls out of line, the other will be there to pull them back together. Does this mean Chip or Dark Gaia have lost their memory before? Have the events of Unleashed happened before? How do they reign the other in?

These questions are probably gonna get answered in the next page lmao what am I doing-

Everything else is kinda sorta spelled out to us which I think is a good thing, since Chip is, in the story, explaining all of this to a group of people who had no idea about any of this for their entire lives. The poor Chaotix just got roped into this, they just want their pay. So with that in mind I don’t know what else to really cover…? Maybe I’ll notice something later on and just start spamming you with questions, who knows. For now I’m SUPER DUPER EXCITED FOR THE NEXT PAGE LET’S GO THIS IS GONNA BE SO FUN CANNOT WAIT FOR NEXT WEEK

hell yeah do look out for the new page on monday :3 i love ur little big analysis its always the highlight of my week to see one

btw this goes out to evecryone but the whole scene has a lot of moments for everyone else than sonic and shadow so we are winning

#fan lore #clover-the-awesomest #long post #text heavy #fan theories

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your-old-sins-tournament · 10 months

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OC NAVAL WARFARE

/ -- Romantic

*-- Unlabelled/Other

+ -- QPR

& -- Familial

Solshuu (Solaria Aoi/Shu Kurenai)

hello its me and my blorbo from my home. my media. so basically if you like childhood friends to lovers you'll like these two!! um so a lot happens but its like. in the beginning everyone knows they love each other except the two of them. like they live together sorta? i mean theyre kids and the canon characters parents are away most of the time so. company! and then they cook together and at night they cuddle asleep. and its beyblade and they do the battles. later in the show bad things happen which are major spoilers and one of them hurts the other (twice) but its ok she forgives him and then late the next season they get together in a spur of the moment confession and everyone who finds out is like "fucking FINALLY" and yes. the next season the canon charactger deos not show up but my character falls asleep on a call with him <3 and theres a ton more. also they keep their relationship mostly a secret from the public cause. legendary bladers theyre famous n shit and all that stuff. and. augh. im so normal over my favorite character and also. yes there is more there r like 3+ more seasons but i dont have time for all of that ok goobye

Elitheocecily (Elijah Scott * Theodore Churchill * Cecily Churchill)

OK SO. theodore is an angel from heaven disguising himself as a human on earth. cecily knows this, elijah does not. theodore met cecily shortly after coming down to earth and fell head over heels in love with her like its insane how much this man loves his wife. shes literally the only reason he stays on earth. they are both best friends with elijah, whos a priest and is REEEAAAALLLYY fucking repressed and so deep in the closet its ridiculous. hes convinced himself that its actually really normal heterosexual friendship stuff to be completely infatuated with your boy best friend. he thinks hes being really covert but cecily and theodore both are aware of it. cecily thinks its really funny and theodore just finds it really endearing :) if youve ever seen singin in the rain they basically have lie the same dynamic as don kathy and cosmo its great i love them

#oc ship tournament #oc ships #bracket tournament #oc #solshuu #elitheocecily #romantic ship #unlabelled ship #polls

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meet-at-tycho · 13 days

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sorryyy its late and i am filled with joy and whimsy. i love them so much, my sibling always gets annoyed with me cuz theyre all i talk about.. can you blame me? to have that vast boring nothingness shift into excitement and happiness and real true love? if you were me, youd talk about it too

its so funny cuz my life seems to move in cycles, familiar patterns that ive grown really sick of.. traumatizing and terrible, horrible bloody mess.... and then the most long drawn out boring slice of life youve ever witnessed. trauma! nothing! trauma! nothing! really tired of that.. i never thought that my nothing could be broken with joy, isnt that strange? for once, im not really hurting anymore. when i do hurt, i can handle it on my own and let go, and if its too much then i know im safe to express it

ive come such a long way, i dont tend to see myself positively, but.. its hard not to be proud. guys it turns out all you need to be happy is like. LOVE isnt that so corny isnt that so unbelievably predictable... APPARENTLY its true, i guess it feels different when yr actually experiencing it firsthand

im like on the verge of tears right now but. theres no sweeter joy than this, its so fucking BIZARRE. how did it happen this way? all the little bits and pieces that fell into place, delivered me angels and made me whole again.. cheesy, i know im being cheesy but i cant help it!! im sweet on them as often as i can be but theres still a lot of things i just.. dont have the strength to say directly. so i say them here, im sure only one of you will see this anyways. but i dont need either of you to see it, just speaking my feelings out into open air eases my mind a bit more

sometimes im like wow! theres no way this is healthy im . can i really experience true love? love that doesnt hurt? love thats REAL? as much as im tempted to deny it, im living it every day!!! i wake up and theyre both there to greet me, isnt that sweet? the first people i speak to when i wake up, the last people i say goodnight to when i go to sleep

i think i just need someone, i think im the kind of person that just.. ive been alone for a while, its OKAY its whatever, ive definitely grown used to it but. i thrive when im with them, its so? maybe all i need is someone else to keep me here.. ive got two!!!!!

maybe thats not clear enough

the way id get through that droning loneliness is escapism, nonstop daydreams and dissociation, i was barely here. only to eat and take care of my body a little bit, then its back to fantasy, because .. theres people who love me in my dreams! but.. im honestly finding it so hard to slip back into that habit now. its scary, because its whats kept me safe. hiding in fiction has kept me safe, kept me calm, happy.. but i cant shake it out of my head!!!! any time i try to fall back into those routines, the only thing i can think of is THEM.. like yeah this is great and all but.. i dont want to be trapped in my head anymore!!! theyre out there, i want to be out there..

if im honest? its terrifying. im forced to come to terms with ME as a person, who i am, something ive neglected to acknowledge for my entire life, but. im so completely wrapped up in my love for them that i hardly think about that!!!!! for once, it sorta almost feels like time is moving how it should be.. like every day that passes is different, every day that passes is SPECIAL. it hurts me to say this, but i think i love being alive? can you imagine that? how is it possible that two strangers could just.. fall into my life one day and before i even know it, im healing, im happy, im whole. MAKE ME SICKK its so foul. its almost pathetic!!! is that really all ive needed? this whole time, and i couldnt find ONE proper candidate throughout 20 years of life? its hard to really be upset about it, cuz.. ive got them now. thats all that matters

idk, i just. i think its really telling the kind of people they are, i know im only me, but.. for what its worth, theyve improved my life so drastically, i wouldve never thought id see myself happy like this. they do that for me, they do that and so much more. i love you 💞

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cruciomione · 6 months

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"About the Blogger" Meme

Thanks for tag @bioloyg <3

Star Sign(s): Scorpio Sun (I literally never remember my other ones, I should probably memorize them)

Favorite Holidays: Christmas and Halloween. even tho i find it harder to feel the holiday spirit up until the very last minute i love christmas so much. and not even to be corny but its true that when you grow up you start to care less about the presents and more about the memories with family and friends.

i grew up in a religous family so my parents didnt let me celebrate halloween but i still love it with my whole heart. im a november baby so i love fall and all things eerie and spooky.

Last Meal: McDonalad's snack wrap and one of those new fruit splash drinks. its exam season so ofc im eating like shit. will probably eat some ice cream when i get home after my physiology exam in 30 minutes. so yay to junk food

Current Favorite Musician: currently ive been really enjoying pinkpantheress. her new album is literally 10/10. she has such a knack for melodies, and her lyrics are very eerie and poetic while maintaining a cutesy 2000s vibe. shes also a sampling queen.

honoarble mentions: ive been listening to a lot of janet, rosalia and red velvet these days too.

Last Music Listened To: feedback by janet Jackson. bro istg you have to clear the area when this comes on, i cant help but dance

Last Movie Watched: last movie i watched was bride wars. honestly a classic movie, so funny and i love wedding movies so i reccomend it. that was a month ago tho, which is crazy.

Last TV Show Watched: like the wonderful person who tagged me i watched the bear last. i just rewatched s02e01. ive been doing this thing where i'll either rewatch episodes for research, boredom or just because i get sucked in rewatching a specific clip that makes me want to rewatch the whole episode.

Last Book/Fic Finished: last fic i finished was keeping up with the berzattos by chefskiss40 on ao3. ive reread it like 3 or 4 times now and im patiently waiting for an update. its just so good, i love the domestic vibes. im not a fan of seeing my ships start families in canon but in fic? oh i could read that forever

Last Book/Fic Abandoned: not really abandoned but sorta modified? the sydcarmy high school au i started in the summer was a good concept but i didnt really have a concrete idea where the overall story would go. BUT im planning on maybe doing a series which is just a collection of one shots of them in HS? OR i plan on doing a multi-chapter shorter story that is an AU that also takes place in a high school setting but with a twist that i dont want to reveal bc that would mean i would have to commit to it. lol

Currently Reading: nothing. unless you count all these articles/research papers I've been reading for my health research studies course (think i aced the exam yesterday so maybe all the pain was worth it)

Last Thing Researched for Art/Writing/Hyperfixation: doesnt really count as research but basically i was on pinterest creating boards for 3 different fics. was researching wedding dresses for a nat & syd fic where they go wedding dress shopping (will be finishing after my last exam). also just creating two other boards to inspire myself to start the au i teased above and my bones and all AU/retelling i talked about last month. i want to watch some more cannibalism media and maybe research about 80s pop culture and politics before i dive into that one fully.

Favorite Online Fandom Memory: ummmm probably just being a menace on twitter with my friends that i made through being a reveluv. we talk every single day, and they are some of the best people i know. maybe the times we used to get up early or stay up late for comeback season, watch the kcharts being updated hourly and crack jokes about group we liked and didnt like

Favorite Old Fandom You Wish Would Drag You Back In/Have A Resurgence: technically THG is having a resurgence right now but im way too into the bear to really get back into it and also i havent seen the new movie. im excited to once exam season is done but i feel like the hype is already dying so i dont see myself getting too into it.

Favorite Thing You Enjoy That Never Had an Active or Big "Fandom" but You Wish It Did: uhhhh cant think of one tbh.

Tempting Project You're Trying to Rein In/Don't Have Time For: honestly every sydcarmy fic idea i have that would take multi chapters to flesh out. one shots are very safe for me. but im praying i'll commit to it. esp the bones and all AU lol

this was fun

tagging some ppl to do this too, only if you want!

@amieraisposting @chefkids @sennenrose @sydneys-adamu @sydneyscarm @happylikeasadsong @chansoooo1-blog

#about meme #ask to tag #fun distraction from this exam #wish me luck

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silvergoldraeven · 1 year

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Okokokok so (assuming) you’re an avid heimes shipper, I’m rlly curious, so like, how do you think (in your resurrection au) kratos would feel if Hermes came back to life out of nowhere and started dating Heimdall??? LMAOO

OR EVEN, WOULD, your au Heimdall even ever be into Hermes at all????? Due to his redemption and all??? KSJDKDJ I can’t stop thinking abt it😭

oh ive thought about this A LOT. like an ungodly amount. i actually at first made a character for Heimdall as a love interest but scrapped it cuz i didnt want it to be a Heimdall x oc thing ya know. then my dear friend (@medievildead) got me Hermespilled- and now i have. better ideas. they wouldnt work with what im actually going for with res!AU cuz itd add sooooo many things and its just. ough. but!

There's so many ways this could go. So Many. (x0k if youre reading this im encouraging you to make a version with your Hermes AU c:)

But i'd like to imagine that Atreus one day just comes home wearing the like ancient Greek travelling outfit and Kratos looks him up and down, goes silent for a few minutes before asking where the fuck and who the fuck he got that from. Atreus just happily going "from this really nice man, had flaming hair, weird little voice but he was cool and- oh there he is-" and just points over to Hermes crawling out of the bushes and yelling "where are my fucking shoes Kratos?!"

i think thats funny, i think that should be canon. Hermes existing and following Atreus home to Midgard opens up so much place for angst with Kratos and Atreus but im not here for that, im here to make 2 people worse. mostly Heimdall, reverse therapy now that Hermes is here /hj

Hermes joining the gang is just like like the Thor scene but Loud and hes like "i brought olives :]" and Kratos lets him in just for that trade tbh.

Kratos asking how tf hes even alive and Hermes replies with "im bugs" without elaborating, we never find out how he's alive.

Uncle Hermes is definitely my fav trope so him bonding with Atreus over atheletics and mischief, mostly bullying Heimdall. Hermes locked eyes with Heimdall and immediately decided that he was a worthy opponent. so their relationship starts with Hermes and Atreus bullying the shit out of Heimdall, who's self growth is really being tested on a daily basis. when Atreus leaves again Heimdall is left with just 1 shithead insisting on making his life harder (but oh so affectionately).

i think Heimdall would actually be more likely to fall for Hermes cuz he finally got that giant stick out of his ass, would probably find his japes and overall mischief endearing, after he warms up to the Greek god.

Hermes is canonically really good at cooking too if im correct so him helping Heimdall with cooking,,, cute. so cute. Hermes teaches Heimdall Greek dishes and Heimdall teaches him Nordic dishes but Hermes usually just goes "this has no flavour" which in return makes Heimdall call him a slur of some kind in offense.

Heimdall showing off Gulltoppr being like "this is my great and loyal beast, he has never left my side for anyone, neither in life or death. he will never be loyal to anyone els-" camera turns to Hermes giving a purring Gully tummy rubs :3

unrelated (sorta) but i think Angrboda and Hermes would actually get along really well.

Hermes being the god of travel drags Heimdall around the 8 realms c o n s t a n t l y. Heimdall hates it, especially since Vanaheim would probably be Hermes' fav realm. but he usually plans a 'surprise' picnic so Heimdall isn't too upset about it :3

Hermes constantly throwing apples at Heimdall. infront of everyone. its funny. most people dont get why Heimdall turns completely red every single time.

if Kratos still has Hermes' boots like he did in the gow 2018 trailer and actually gives them back, Hermes would probs lend them to Atreus occasionally for travelling like the good uncle he is. or as i like to say, buncle. Atreus' bug uncle c:

Hermes would definitely flirt with Heimdall constantly before they start dating just to annoy the living shit out of him which Atreus would find extremely entertaining but once these 2 fuckers start dating they turn their attention back to bullying Atreus. rip my man

Heimdall giving his bf bifrost legs. Hermes deserves bifrost legs. he'd look So Gay. not sure how that'd work but its canon now.

overall i just have many unhinged (normal) thoughts about these 2, too many to put into words but this hopefully gets the point across c:

#gow ragnarok #heimes #gow heimdall #gow hermes #raevenasks #gow

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lifeintheneurolane · 13 days

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My daily neurodivergent journal/diary

Hi lovely people of Tumblr! I'm J and I am an autistic ADHD'er. I have been diagnosed with AD(h)D since December 2023 and have been diagnosed with autism for about a month. Recently I have been keeping a diary/journal because I noticed I had a lot of recurring negative thoughts and I also wanted to keep track of my emotions for my therapy sessions (bc I always forget what I felt during the week I don't see my therapist). I have personally found that reading others experiences helped me a lot because; 1. I found a lot of recognition. 2. I could compare how symptoms presented in others with ADHD/Autism. 3. I have a new hyperfyxation and want to know everything there is to know about neurodivergence lol. I also like to write in my diary as if im writing a book or to an audience so there's that. So if any of these (or something else ofc) applies to you; welcome to my blog!

But before I start I thought I would share my story for anyone that's interested.

For as long as I could possibly remember (doesn't say a lot) I have felt extremely different from everyone else around me. I would overthink things, even as a little girl. I remember as a little girl people would always tell me "J it doesn't matter, stop overthinking and do it". Funny thing that is, because when I graduated flight attendant school two years ago they gave me a note along with my 100% exam score that said: "Stop thinking, just do". As you can tell, this has followed me my entire life. My head has been full of thoughts and music and movie sentences & so so much more. When I learned that this wasn't normal, things were already falling into place for me a bit. I don't belong here, in this society, surrounded by these people. But hey I was a kid! what do I know?

Having these thoughts I went through my teenage years, trough high school and college (imagine dramatic DUNDUNDUN sounds right here). I always felt like I was in a social hell. Honestly, the learning didn't even bother me (don't get me started on homework tho). It was just the social interactions of walking to class, having lunch, passing people in hallways, working in groups (I think you get it now). I had very bad anxiety but wouldn't let anyone know, especially growing up in a household that hates therapists (bc they blamed them lol). Let me sum up my time in highschool and college real quick; problems concentrating,procastinating,close group of friends, always late, almost expelled bc of my low attendance, low/average grades on normal tests but absolutely excelled on exams, could have a high degree but couldn't be arsed so went for average. How do I have 2 diplomas you ask? no clue except for I was kinda sorta smart except for the fact im not smart but just hyper fixated the night before every exam :)

Soo after all of that I became a flight attendant at 19 yrs old, and absolutely hated every second of it. Oh, don't even get me started on the extreme sensory overload. I did have a lot of bad experiences with colleagues so maybe im a little spooked by that, but overall 1/10 experience. The initial training summed up: almost got kicked out bc I was late 2 times (which was the limit), trouble making friends bc I thought no one liked me, extreme insecurities because of multiple exams, I arrived sweaty and anxious every morning, almost got kicked out because I was tired a lot and almost fell asleep, I couldn't concentrate on the 10/12h lectures, I couldn't concentrate because my heels were killing my feet, the clothing & so much makeup annoyed me. Honestly I could go on but I think this sums up my time because the training only lasted 2 weeks ;)

I flew for 9 months and most of the things above were the same during that time. I arrived sweaty every morning because I had so much stress. Before every flight they ask you safety questions & I had to learn every morning all over again because I kept forgetting everything & all the tiny details. Also the social aspect was so horrifying for me, every flight there was an entire new crew so there was excruciatingly much small talk (which Im not very good at). I think I called in sick 12 times because of sleep trouble, I felt sick, I felt stressed out, I just couldn't handle it. Everyone around me was so proud of me, until the end of my summer contract and I didn't go back. I don't think ive ever felt as much disappointment towards me as when I told my family I didn't like being a FA and basically wasted four years of my life going to flight attendant school (college).

After all that bull# I became a receptionist, I welcomed important business partners at the head office of T-Mobile. I did a lot of administrative tasks and social stuff (I did it to myself atp). And guys you'll never guess what!? I absolutely hated my time there. I did have a great colleague but for some reason I always felt she wasn't being genuine with me. She loved shopping and so did I (a lil too much) and together we would shop online, and this is where my neuro journey starts.

I started shopping so much until I had no money left, but I still needed to shop. I had such an extreme urge to shop anything I would know give me a good feeling. I started buying stuff with apps like Klarna and Afterpay to the point it was impossible for me to pay on the deadlines. I will sum it up bc im not ready to share the entire story yet, but best believe I was in a loooot of trouble and this was also when the worst year of my life would start. I went to a clinic for addiction ad had weekly talks with a therapist. We found out very quickly that something else was going on, something that caused my shopping addiction. So the psychiatrist there got involved, initially they thought of ASD but me and my stupid prejudices wouldn't have it. A week after that conversation with the psychiatrist he tested me for ADHD and dingdingding! There it was, and almost a perfect score might I add. Finally I had a reason for being so.. me. I started doing research and reading books which helped me feel a lot of recognition. Still, something didn't entirely feel right. They couldn't start medications because I was there for addiction initially so I had to wait until I could go to a psychiatrist (waitlists here in Europe are a nightmare).

In January this year I stopped going to the clinic and got prescriptions for my medications from my gp/doctor. I tried 2 types of meds but still, there was this part of me that said "what now?, nothing has changed yet.. is it ever going to?" something still felt missing. In March I had my first appointment with my new and current therapist. I was so extremely nervous because I honestly didn't even know what exactly I needed help with. I just felt lost and wanted to fix my life again. I started telling my entire story to this new therapist and immediately I felt he understood me. I told him about my former therapist and psychiatrist's initial thoughts of ASD and he said we could see if there was any reason for looking into ASD if I felt comfortable with that. I told him I was, even though it freaked me out but I wanted/needed to know. So he gave me two forms to fill out which were general questions to figure out if there was even any reason to think about ASD. I emailed him the forms so he would have an answer by the time we would meet again. Sure enough, when we met a week later he told me there was indeed reason to start a ASD diagnosis interview because I scored in all aspects. So we did do a interview and a week or so after that I was officially diagnosed with Autism. During the entire week after the interview I couldn't get out of the house. I was afraid to tell my parents but I did anyway, and my mom's reaction was "surely you don't have it, I know so many autistic people and you are not like them". Well mom, how wrong you were. This entire month has been such a rollercoaster of emotions. I am now an autistic woman with ADHD, yay?. It makes lots of sense now, but in the beginning I kept picturing this 8 year old autistic boy that was in my class, who kept trying to fight me because I thought I was Travis Barker drumming on my table. The boy who wore big bright red headphones and would sit in a corner, facing the wall and rocking so fast it gave me the creeps. The boy who would fight and scream and no one liked. That wasn't me, it couldn't be, it can't be. After doing my research I found out this indeed was't me, but autism presents different in everyone. Especially after reading Ellie Middleton's (love her so much) unmasked I finally understood myself. I'm not yet at that phase of acceptance because yes I have autism and that's why people think im weird sometimes, im just wired differently. It just still doesn't take away the fact im still weird and an outcast. I don't relate to a lot of other autistic people, I don't relate to most neurotypicals, so what do I do now?

I guess that's why I started this blog. I want to find out and when I finally get to that point of acceptance, or at least contempt, I can look back at how I got where I am at that point.

If anyone has any tips or anything feel free to message me or comment under my posts. This is a judgement free zone but if I said something wrong please feel free to correct me and educate me if needed :) Also if anyone ever wants to talk, im here! I may not be good at social stuff but if you made it to here, you'll know why.

Love & hugs,

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minkkumaz · 9 months

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the melon chart is over tiktok and twitter! im pretty sure if u search up “boynextdoor charting melon”. but on tiktok theres a translated version by @/sunghanbinna .. it was made 6 days ago and the view count is 441.2K, the cover video is sungho :))

the videos so cute <3

AND OO smau ideas,, for short lil smaus okag okay.

SO! (i sorta looked back on them all and they mostly seem like short fics instead of texting hcs.)

BONEDO

sungho: readers walking around the park when this random guy wouldnt stop tryna talk to them!! reader ends up telling sungho and he arrives SO fast. #iloveprotectivemen

riwoo: riwoo who sends pictures to s/o saying, “this reminded me of you :)”

jaehyun: reader finds a unnamed bouquet outside their front door, tells their bff jaehyun over text. (jaehyun pretends to be shocked, even though he sent the flowers). little does jaehyun know the reader has those doorbells that record cctv on what happens outside their house!

taesan: reader falls asleep on facetime so he texts the reader sweet words and just re-confesses his love all over again (hes WHIPPED!) before he also sleeps. (dw he’ll definitely stay on facetime!)

leehan: “leehan would you love me if i was a deadly fish virus..” (aka. would you love me if i was a worm)

woonhak: playing game pigeon with him! loser has to treat the other one to a icecream date >_<

all: bonedo boys as the readers bff, but each member has their own route(?) like for example, lets say the reader is crushing on woonhak so they tell jaehyun,leehan,sungho,taesan & riwoo abt it!!

reader: guys omg woonhak literally looked at me he wants me so bad.. 😭🙏🙏🙏

riwoo: ?

jaehyun: oh..! okay!! yeah 😅😅😅😅😅☠️😅

8TURN

myungho: hear me out on this. playing hard to get myungho, who acts uninterested whenever the reader texts him.. but recently hes been smiling a lot more on his phone whenever he sees the readers texts pop up on his notif bar!!

jaeyun: okay so, yk how when jaeyun replies to fans, his replies r just rlly funny?? IDK IF YKWIM cause i see him responding to fans and hes just so unserious LOL, but like one day sassy jaeyun and sassy reader sass eachother to no end and end up goin viral on social media for their cheeky interactions LMAO

minho: stop okay omg how about like before minho posts on twitter/instagram he asks the reader which photo they like the most >< I wanna compliment and hype him up so bad hes so GRGDHSJDJ

yoonsung: texting haemin as a joke about confessing to yoonsung with those omlette rice ketchup writings, but accidentally sending the text to yoonsung instead LMAO

haemin: his reaction when the reader buys him manchester city soccer tickets!! i wanna spoil him so bad TT

kyungmin: HIGHSCHOOL AU SNEAKING TEXTS IN BETWEEN CLASSES. theres a cellphone ban at school but he just cant resist!!

yungyu: honestly im 100% sure u have many brainrots of texting yungyu so its up to u!! but personally id love to see yungyu commenting under the readers latest insta post going like, “im better than ur bf” “give me a chance” even tho the readers already dating him. YK?

seungheon: during a 8turn concert, that the reader can’t unfortunately attend, they watch it live on like tv and the reader ends up texting seungheon during the whole performance and just gushing abt him, so like a few hours after the performance he checks his phone to see like 500+ msgs full of adoration and compliments. (he ends up getting teased by all the members hehehehehdiei)

OVERALL ANY OF THOSE IDEAS CAN BE FOR ANYONE!! when i imagine things i like to label a person on it so it can feel more real to me ><

-🍉

STOP BECAUSE WHY DO I ACTUALLY WANNA DO EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE IDEAS HELLOOO fuck ur actgually so smart i'm sweating a little bit.

omg i don't even know what to respond with to all of these they're all so interesting AGHH AND THEY'RE SO FITTING

i must say i would absolutely CLEARRRRRRRRRR woonhaks ass on wordhunt like i'm genuinely the best wordhunt player known to man (debatable)

i also have to comment on the yoonsung one though THAT'S SO CUTE i lovelvoelovleioeol LOVE the trope of accidentally confessing to idols over text like i swear i eat those up for breakfast lunch and dinner, i probably will do something like that LMAOO

AND YES YUNGYU OMGAKJSHBFSKJHBF stop i just published some yungyu texts im probably gonna do an ot8 ver of slowly falling in love like i love that trope too its so ><

THANK U ANON IM IN TEARS THESE R SO ADORBALE

#∞ ₒ ˚ omi's chats #༊*·˚ anonymous peoples #🍉 anon ·˚ ༘ ✎

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ididkn0w · 1 year

Text

Baby good morning😞 I’ve missed you so much I’ve been thinking about ur face. So lemme tell u ab my day so far. Babe I don’t want u to get up alrrrr😞😞 I haven’t stopped imaging us together like us pretending to be babies and sad for a kissss😭. We would hold hands everywhere n talk like best friends and take the coolest pictures of each other and laugh all the time. Ok so I’m at a resturaunt now I typed everything from before yes like nothing but bc bro I’ve been on this tour n I haven’t been able to have anyone off my fucking ass n when he talks n we stand there like I can’t be on my phone. So basically Idek if I alr started but idc I’ll repeat myself. So we hadda leave and whatever and we met up with the tour guide and I was not feeling good at all man I had the biggest headache n I was so nauseous man I was feeling so so bad like horrible. We got on a like team I guess from the city and we got to the first place and he was explaining shit I never payed attention bruh I’ve been bad in the morning and then the rest of the day I think I’ve been like hella dissaciated I’m ngl I might not even say much cus the whole day I’ve just been feeling like shit n I rlly was not like present. So then this was at like 9:30. Bro I can’t with my grandparents they treat me like I’m 7 all day every day it’s so much bro. Ok so then they were going into this sultans palace and Ik all ab this btw😅 I like history especially the ottoman one. Ok so we alr went there when I came like two years ago so I was like aight imma head out like u guys go check that out I’ll wait for u guys here bc they haven’t come before. So I waited for them and so i fell asleep on a bench😭 for two hours😭 like straight up public bench at a park n ofc I woke up every once in a while but I was so bad like I couldn’t keep falling asleep n like everytjme I woke up it was random ppl sitting next to me and whatever n I would check the time like damn they’re still not back. But thankfully I was sleeping bc wtf would I have done for two hours n then finally I woke up all super good n happy n motivated I felt so much better and then I was like fuck like how much longer will I have to wait like awake doing nothing. N thankfully they came like 15 min after. So then bruh I literally don’t even rmb what we did lemme see my pics. Oh yes there’s a pic of a baby bc I want to have a baby with u. And that was the bench where I slept at. N then we went to a cafe nearby n we tried postres and I had this drink it was rlly yummy. And more moon underthink sorta signs. Then we went to this underground thing and like I wasn’t having it so whateverrrrrr n like it used to be an aqueduct for the sultan some shit like that. And it was actually cool n they had Roman gods and goddesses in there bc the ottoman used to be scared of the Roman’s. Then we went to a very pretty mosque. I LOVE GOING TO MOSQUES. Middle eastern countries are def my second favorite place to go/have been after Thailand. Yes Ik our number one is Thailand😆😆 I love that we twin like that I love you. Ik we’re gonna go together. I need to be rich and travel with u. My number 3 is Russia. U have to take me to Ghana. Then we went to a market obv spice market but they had other stuff especially fake stuff this is where I brought my fake yeezy slides😭 imma buy another pair😭 easy to like trash them yk what I mean n I also want a fake bag but u might convince me otherwise lmk (u my stylist) imma go to those shops tomorrow. Then we went to a rooftop n im showing u my pimple. Then we left n then we got on the metro n we’re at this popular restaurant I took pics of ppl who have been here before for u that yk. Bro oh my god I just got up the did a whole show for us they even threw a plate and they made me hold this bread that said Colombia I was so fucjing red oh my god. If I didn’t give u much details or I’m not all being funny n shit perdon Bebe I’ve been pretty mad. I’ve just been wanting to get home n talk to u. Acabo de comer bebe now I’m in the bathroom shitting. The food was very yummy im just anxious bc I just wanna talk

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xxswagcorexx · 1 year

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brainrotting about the fallen angels swagdoons so freaking hard but in an incomprehensible way ya know.

also glad to know that bc of me asking you decided to also tell this shit on here because holy moly core this au is absolutely wonderful and there's So much symbolism and by god aren't symbolisms the coolest things ever. just people giving a completely different meaning to things that never had this meaning before.

sorry for ranting lmao

aaaaanyways, what's up with that thing about casino quartet ^-^ is there anything else about the world's worst polycule?

OMG TYSM CHERNY THE BELOVED!!!! omg tysm for letting me ramble abt the fallen angel concept.,… i was torturing my friends too much with it thank u for letting mr be silly on main ^_^ /silly

ALSO IM SO GLAD U LIKE THE SYMBOLISM!!! i love making up made up symbolism fr…its so fun to make order out of chaos and looking closely at things and bring New Life to them i loveeee doing to sm (and i love aus like that in general they make them feel so Alive)

but ya!! i mentioned how it started off as a crack au with casino quartet and uh. (tries to think of a way to describe them without going into the main tags <-scared) let’s ramble about them! ^_^

basically so uh. for a while i thought one of the funniest things ever was to make a mcyt au from the music video lore of this one k-pop group because the idea was so absurd and it was niche enough that people Won’t Know/clock it right away and the idea of being “SURPRISE IT WAS KPOP” was something REALLY funny because i am messed up and evil in the head!!!

but. if i’m being honest. their my aesthetic low key slapped for no reason so as i started thinking about it and whatnot the au just became. its own thing. like you can sorta see bits of The Original Intent in there but its so far removed its basically its own thing so. (if you figured out who i assigned who to who no you dont /silly)

but uh. the lore is Very long and casino quartet only really work with one of the subgroups of the k-pop group so i’m just gonna focus on that one ^_^

basically, their subgroup’s lore is a vaguely based off of a few anesthetic of the bible, more specifically the story of adam and eve and angels escaping eden or whatnot. there’s 4 members, one representing adam, one representing eve, and the last 2 representing angels, with one following adam and eve to escape eden and the one who’s left behind eventually becoming fallen and finding self worth in herself

in the main music video where their Lore is shown, the other angels literally leave one of them out of the loop as they plan to escape eden together—just without the last angel :( and there’s a really sad shot of her looking at all of her friends running out of eden without her. then i another music video we get the other angel looking very sad that she left her friend behind but adam and eve r so smitten with each other that they dont care <- no way it’s clownzy and ash in team chaos i mean WHATTTTT ^_^

anyways. as u can tell. i mostly went “omg casino quartet” at the team chaos parallels and the Betrayal and Making Things Right themes and since their subgroup was Inspired by bible aesthetics, the idea for red being a fallen angel kinda Stuck with me and i (eventually) brainrotted the idea so hard and connecting to more things about fallen angels and whatnot i came across to the point it became its Own Thing. but tbh i really like the idea of ash trying to get red back and whatnot and him being a Fallen Angel as well stuck A Lot

and Also i like the idea of clown and branzy being the more modern interpretations of adam and eve. like someone who’s smitten in love and being willing to bite the apple and fall into sin for that. they’re so ill about each other it could go either way its them fr!!!!

but yeah. thumbs up . thats the Lore reason to why fallen angel ash and red became a thing >_< clownzy is a secret 3rd thing to me when it comes to the fallen angel concept but !!! its awesome maybe ill redraw the mv scenes with them one day….

#casino quartet #tw caps #media.warning.caps #anyways. illness #if u know what i’m talking abt it. no u dont /silly #but maybe. will jumpscare the tag and post the redraw art once i complete it #it would be Very silly i think #anyways ya tysm for the ask!! if u want me to dm u the mv links 2 u….feel free to ask!!!#mailbox.core

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giratina-plushie · 1 year

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Hi. I'm an unsuspicious anon asking this unprompted. [holds out hands] spare Melli thoughts?

hi completely unsuspicious anon who i was not literally just talking to about this topic. thank you for allowing me to subject my followers to the melli thoughts that i have in my brain

so like. i know melli is not well loved. i am so fucking aware of this. i personally upon watching him walk into a room in the first youtube letsplay i watched of pla immediately got attached and decided This One's My Favourite, Actually, but i don't pick normal favourites so that's par for the course. people think he's annoying. he is so fucking mean to the player character and also everyone else. i didn't realise how mean he was until playing the game and like holy shit he is an asshole sometimes. However.

theres this line sourced from bulbapedia (that i did not know about until WELL after i started being Not Normal about melli but it provides a good basis) that is "According to Mai, he used to be very shy and withdrawn, until he one day announced that he would work hard to help Adaman." So You Can Imagine Where This Is Going

melli is such a complex character. and like i havent played through the entire game so maybe he has even More stuff going on that im unaware of but from what i can tell, he's Like That because if he isn't Like That he doesn't know what to do with himself. fake it til you make it sorta deal. he Has to be the best and he's gotta keep telling himself he is the best or he starts floundering. he's very set in his ways which arguably isnt a good thing, he is wrong Frequently, but he also really just has adaman and the clan's best interests at heart, he's just. Like That about it

one really interesting thing to me is after you catch the first sinnoh to come through the rift (in my case palkia, which miiiight affect how this turns out?? but i don't know) he essentially goes to adaman and says "if you do not give me something to do right this moment i am going to fucking die" and like. i saw that and was like oh he is stressed stressed. this man is straight up not having a good time and his orders are currently to just... wait? stand around? the world is falling apart around his ears the rift is spewing out energy (right over his beloved moonview arena and lord electrode, too) and he isn't being told to start doing something? he can contribute, you know, he's not useless and adaman should be giving him something to do so that he doesn't just have to stand there feeling like he is useless

i do not think he should have insulted lian by the way he was mean to a nine year old about his funny hat and like don't do that melli that's not nice :(

but there's a REASON he's worse than usual during that period of time!! the world is currently Fucking Exploding, adaman is refusing to get him to do anything because there's not much he can do, and so he is panicking ! and that comes out as Just Really Rude To Everyone regardless of how much he cares about them. like that's the first and only time he's mean to adaman i think. and yknow obviously that's not a good way to express that you're having a Bad Fucking Time but he doesn't really seem to know how else to deal with it

it's very important to me that people understand melli is full of love. he's not just an asshole who is so mean to you ! he cares SO DEEPLY about lord electrode, which is why he's so set on you not unfrenzying it. he's just. wrong. and absolutely terrible at accepting that. he loves moonview arena, he loves the clan, he loves dialga, basically everything he does in the game is fueled by one of a) being absolutely terrible at accepting when he is wrong b) not knowing how to function without hyping himself up at every turn and c) being so full of love for the things around him he makes bad decisions. love is stored in the melli!!! you have to understand this!!!! it's in there!!!!!

in conclusion:

#also i think he invented modern shampoo 200 years early

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piescornerstore · 11 months

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HELLO i noticed you are a spamblue shipper mm yes this the GOOD shit ok so. i mentioned in a reply that i used to ship this hardcore and i have a ton of old dusty headcanons for their relationship and history together and i wanna hear yours

Oh I'd love to share, thanks for asking!

This is gonna be an incomprehensive unorganized list so. I'm gonna put it under a read more

Also a lot of this stuff I'm kinda just pulling from a fic I'm still trucking through, so go check that out if you'd like, it's long though

anyways

(btw im using he/it for spamton and they/them for blue. another name for blue is cerulean but im just gonna use blue here)

Spamton and blue always Kinda Liked each other, but they'd always been pretty good friends ever since they met

Blue was always nicer to Spamton than the other Addisons; that's what made Spamton like them so much in the first place

The others always just sorta let him entertain them as some funny little inconsequential guy that they let hang around with them, but Blue really did genuinely enjoy Spamton's company

Blue wasn't exactly too much better than the others, though. They prided themselves on being the nice one when being nice isn't exactly the same as being kind. They do grow to be kinder throughout their relationship with Spamton, though

When Spamton does finally fall for them, he completely disregards any faults Blue has and focuses only on the fact that they're nicer to him than they have to be. It's the type that when anything positive happens in its life, even the slightest thing that makes its life feel less awful, it clings to that

After getting feelings for them though Spamton is just absolutely zonked. Like it's gone. The guy is an absolute pathetic loser girlfailure who follows Blue around like a lost puppy

It like. Wants to do something meaningful for them but 1: it absolutely doesn't have the courage to and 2: it doesn't even have the money to try

And Blue is SO generous to him even though he doesn't quite understand why. He wants to swallow his pride and let them spend all their money on him but he ALSO doesn't want to feel like he's taking advantage of their kindness which. he also really wants to do

One of the things Blue does for it is make cookies! Like website cookies. They're an amazing cook too and cookies bring a lot of Addison-specific nutrition so Spamton really can't say no

Blue doesn't even know exactly why they feel like improving their demeanor towards Spamton and they aren't quite exactly the person to look inwards but they do it anyway because that's waht they feel like doing!

Blue realizes their feelings much later on and while they can tell that Spamton isn't Normal about them either they just. Feel so nervous about making a move

When they do Finally date Blue makes every excuse to spoil Spamton with as much love and affection as they can. They feel bad about having gone along with all the teasing and mocking that the other Addisons did, even though they didn't actively participate in it. And Spamton is just happy it got this far

Spamton likes taking Blue out on fun little novelty dates, like bowling or vintage shopping! Blue likes more sophisticated dates, like museums or concerts

And of course. Once Spamton starts getting money he turns the tables on Blue and buys them everything they could possibly want or need and more

Once he's on his way to big shot status, Spamton feels like he has to really prove he loves Blue, not just to Blue, but to himself, so he makes sure to flaunt his accomplishments in front of them. Isn't that what a proper Addison does?

Blue of course is so, so proud of it. They were with Spamton every step of the way and they're glad to see all of its hard work finally pay off

So like they're both in a generally content place at this point. For now

Aaaanyway thanks for liking my stuff! As you can see I am still amidst the vicious throes of this ship so it's nice to find somebody that Understands

#help. help me /j #i may have written a little too much but who cares #im so normal about them #evilautismcrusades #i dont have an ask tag yet so this is the ask tag

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