The Bartender - Part 3

Genre: Bartender!AU

Pairing: Jinhwan x You (Female!Reader)

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol

Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 | Words: 2,241

Oh, my god.

You were kissing Jinhwan right now. In front of your longtime friend. In his bar. With tons of people around.

You were kissing him. On the lips!

Why?

Why had you thought this was a good idea?

I mean, don’t get me wrong. You were enjoying it. Your heart was dancing around in your chest, and your stomach was filled with chaotic butterflies. It had been a long time since you’d kissed anyone, and you’d almost forgotten just how nice it was.

But still. You were kissing Jinhwan!

Before you had the chance to pull away, though, Jinhwan gently took hold of your shoulders and pushed you away.

...Oh.

“I -- I think you’ve had too much --”

Oh, my god. Jinhwan thought you’d had too much to drink and that’s why you were kissing him.

Your heart immediately sunk down to your stomach.

“I’m sorry,” you muttered, avoiding his gaze and quickly reaching behind you to retrieve your bag from inside the booth.

Without even looking at Emma, you turned on your heel and headed for the door.

Just as the warm night breeze hit your skin as you stepped out of the bar, Emma caught up to you and took hold of your elbow.

“Y/N, wait,” she said a bit breathlessly. “What --”

“Can we please go home?” you asked softly, your brow furrowed deeply. You were too embarrassed to even talk about it or say his name. You just wanted to go home, get in bed, and curl up under your covers.

Emma slowly let go of you, murmuring a ‘Yeah, sure’ before getting out her phone and requesting a ride.

In less than half an hour, your wish had come true: you had gone home, got in bed (after going through your evening routine and changing into your pajamas), and were now curled up under your covers.

But... was this any better? Because, even though you weren’t face-to-face with Jinhwan anymore, you were still thinking about it. 

The kiss.

Why had you done it? Why had you gotten the urge to kiss him and, more importantly, why had you given into it?

It wasn’t the alcohol despite what he clearly thought. I mean, it wasn’t just the alcohol. 

Yes, you’d had quite enough to drink. But you certainly hadn’t been drunk. If anything, you had been just a little bit more than tipsy, and that was not nearly enough to justify kissing someone.

You had never actually done anything like that in your life, now that you were really thinking about it.

You’d had enough alcohol before -- more than enough on a few occasions -- and you had probably talked to and flirted with some guys or girls you maybe shouldn’t have. But you’d never kissed anyone before. At least, not without going on at least two dates with them -- typically three.

If you were being honest with yourself, though... you were kind of proud. You had enjoyed the kiss, and you’d done something you never thought you’d have the guts to do. You’d never even thought about kissing someone like that before.

So, in that regard, you were impressed.

But then you thought about how the kiss ended.

Jinhwan had quite literally pushed you away. The kiss had been too quick -- and you had been stressing out about it way too much -- for you to really judge if he had kissed you back in any way, but based on his actions... he probably had not. If he had pushed you away, it was very likely he hadn’t wanted to kiss you in the first place.

...Except that really didn’t make sense.

The guy had been flirting with you for two years. He had asked you out on a date not even two minutes before you’d kissed him! Surely, he wanted to kiss you!

You groaned in frustration, burying your head into your pillow and hoping that, by morning, all of this would be forgotten. You would wake up and discover this had all been a dream. You actually hadn’t gone to Jay’s with Emma, and you hadn’t had enough to drink to make you emotional, and you hadn’t kissed Jinhwan out of nowhere, and he hadn’t pushed you away.

But, of course, we all know it doesn’t work like that.

A girl can dream, though.

When you trudged out of bed the next morning, you were still of a mind that Jinhwan had deemed you too drunk to kiss last night. He had thought you only kissed him because there had been too much alcohol in your system. Which was pretty reasonable considering he’d only ever seen you on the job, and he most certainly had you pegged as someone who took everything in life far too seriously. Someone who didn’t really know how to let loose and relax.

You couldn’t blame him for thinking that, of course, because you kind of were that someone. At the very least, you took your job seriously, and since he’d only ever seen you working, he really had no choice but to imagine you were professional all day, every day.

As you shuffled up to your kitchen counter and began to prepare a pot of coffee, you let out a soft sigh and shook your head to yourself.

If only he knew you had never done that before -- kissed someone on a whim -- and that you really hadn’t been drunk at all.

Just as the coffee pot began to gurgle and drip the hot liquid into your mug... you remembered. He had known! You’d told him that you hadn’t been drunk and that you were just a lightweight.

So, either he hadn’t believed you or he hadn’t really wanted to kiss you.

And you found it hard to reason that he hadn’t believed you. Even though he didn’t know you all that well, he had to know that you wouldn’t lie -- especially not about something like that.

Which only left the option that he hadn’t really wanted to kiss you.

Of course, that didn’t make much sense either, but it made more sense than him thinking you were lying about being drunk. ...Kind of.

You briefly buried your face in your hands, letting out a deep, frustrated sigh and wishing you could zap all of these over-analyzing thoughts away.

As soon as the last drop of coffee fell into your cup, you turned off the pot and headed over to your kitchen table to (try to) enjoy your quiet morning.

But the more you drank your coffee, the more you realized... you were kind of offended that he had pushed you away. You were kind of offended that he hadn’t wanted to kiss you, and even if he had pushed you away because he’d thought you were drunk, you were offended by that, too!

And, to be honest, you were also still embarrassed by the whole thing. Feeling a mix of offense and embarrassment was not fun, let me tell you.

By the time you made your way to the dishwasher to put your empty mug away, you were glad Jinhwan didn’t have a way to contact you so you could simply avoid him for the next six months. Surely, by the time you went back for another health inspection, this would’ve blown over and you would be able to face him like a rational, professional human being.

Just as you reached your bedroom to get ready for the day, you heard your phone vibrating on your bedside table. You jogged over, picking it up and seeing the number had no contact name attached to it. It was probably something work-related, and even though it was the weekend, you picked up.

“Hello?” you answered.

You heard a soft sigh on the other line, and your brow immediately furrowed in confusion.

“Please don’t hang up,” Jinhwan said quickly. “I’m sorry, I just thought --”

“I’m sorry if I overstepped,” you interrupted in short, clipped tones. Now that you were faced with actually talking to him, your professional side took over. “Obviously, it was a mistake. I let my emotions get the best of me, and I apologize for my actions. It won’t happen again.”

You took the phone from your ear, and just before you hung up, you heard him say “No, wait -- !”

But you didn’t wait to hear what he had to say. You ended the call.

Your heart was racing with anxiety as you stared at your phone screen. A part of you was glad you had gotten it over with, but another part of you was even more embarrassed than you had been before.

He probably thought you were some sort of crazy robot!

You started to put your phone back down on your bedside table, but then a thought suddenly popped into your head.

...How had he gotten your number?!

Without thinking twice about it, you pulled your phone back up and navigated to your recent calls, pressing on the one at the top from just a few minutes ago.

Jinhwan picked up after the first ring and said, “Can I please --”

“How did you get my number?” you asked a bit more forcefully than you’d intended.

There was a brief pause before he answered you. “Your friend called the bar last night and gave it to me.”

Emma. Of course.

“Can you please delete it?” you requested.

“No, wait,” he replied, way more quickly than he had answered your previous question. “Can you please just listen to me?”

“Why? So you can explain why you physically pushed me away from you when I tried to kiss you? Do you know how embarrassing that is?!

“I’m sorry,” he said with a slight whine to his voice. “I’m really sorry. It just happened so quickly, and I wasn’t expecting it -- especially from you, and --”

“Especially from me?” you interrupted with a chuckle of disbelief.

“Yes, especially from you. Especially from a person who has shown no romantic interest in me for two years until last night.”

You were about to retort that it wasn’t true, but you realized he’d said shown no interest. Not had no interest. And, in that regard, he was correct.

“Well, I wasn’t about to flirt with you while I was working,” you said instead.

“But you could’ve come into the bar,” he pointed out. “If you really wanted to go out with me, you could’ve come into the bar a lot earlier and told me.”

He was right, of course. Again.

You hated not being right.

“Well, I didn’t. And there’s nothing I can do about it now just like there’s nothing I can about the fact that I kissed you and I wasn’t drunk and you didn’t want it.”

“Oh, I want it,” he chuckled. “Trust me. I want it. Just... not really... like that.”

Somehow, that didn’t do anything to relieve your embarrassment.

“I’m sorry,” you stated. “I just -- I just wanted to kiss you, so I did. I don’t know why because I’ve literally never done that ever in my whole --”

“You’ve never done that before?”

“No! Of course, not! I don’t go around kissing people I barely know! I never have, and I certainly never will!”

Jinhwan chuckled again, and you could so very obviously hear the smirk on his lips right now.

“Well, then, I’m sorry for not being more gracious. I didn’t realize how lucky I was.”

“Oh, be quiet,” you sighed.

“Can I still take you out?” he asked.

Your brow furrowed instantly. “...You still want to go out with me?”

“I absolutely do. Please, let me take you out, and you can kiss me as much as you want.”

A tiny smile played at your lips, and you shook your head to yourself. There was very little chance of that happening. Your pride was still too wounded to even think about kissing him again anytime soon.

Honestly, your pride might even be too wounded to go on a date with him.

“I -- I don’t know,” you murmured. “Maybe it isn’t such a good idea after all. I mean, I --”

“It’s an excellent idea, and I’m going to take you out. You said ‘yes’ last night, and you were not drunk, so it’s binding. You can’t take it back.”

“Jinhwan --”

“Y/N, no arguments,” he grinned. “Are you free tomorrow?”

...Unfortunately, you were, and you felt too guilty to lie about it.

“Yes, I am free tomorrow.”

“If I send you a location, will you meet me there?”

“It depends on what the location is.”

“You’ll like it, I promise,” he assured you. “And it’ll be very clean. Full marks on the last health inspection.”

“Wow,” you chuckled. “You really know how to woo a girl, don’t you?”

“I think I know how to woo you, at least.”

...Sadly, he wasn’t lying. It was pretty important that any place you visited passed their health inspections with flying colors. You knew what it meant to get points taken off, and trust me -- once you know, you can never unknow.

“All right,” you relented. “Send me a location, and I’ll be there.”

And now you agreed with Jinhwan. You’d given your word, and there was no taking it back now.

You were going on a date with Jinhwan.

Part 4

A Step Too Far? Chapter Nine A Moon of My Own

Ch. 1 - Ch. 2 - Ch. 3 - Ch. 4 - Ch. 5 - Ch. 6 - Ch. 7 - Ch. 8 - Ch. 9 - Ch. 10 - Ch. 11

TITLE: A Step Too Far? NUMBER OF CHAPTERS/ONE SHOT: 9/? WHICH TOM CHARACTER: Stepfather Tom OTHER CHARACTERS: Benedict Cumberbatch, Andrew Scott PAIRING: Tom/OFC, Benedict Cumberbatch/OFC GENRE: Drama, Hurt/Comfort WARNINGS: Spanking, Infidelity, Sex

CHAPTER NINE A Moon of My Own

Nina spent the weekend at home, bonding with baby William. She sang swedish songs to him and found that Tom was listening intently, trying to understand the lyrics. She ended up translating for him and teaching him swedish nursery rhymes and pop songs.

"I want a moon of my own, that I can go to, and forget that you left me. I can sit on my moon, and do whatever I want, I'll stay there until everything's alright," Nina translated one of her mother's favourite songs for Tom.

"Thank you for translating," Tom told her with a warm smile.

"No problem," Nina replied and continued to sing for her baby brother. "Jag är fattig bonddräng men jag lever ändå…"

"What was that song about?" Tom asked curiously from the sofa where he was laying down and watching her interactions with the baby.

"It's about a poor farmer boy who works hard everyday," Nina explained. "He gets drunk on Saturdays, gets into fights and sleeps with women. On Sundays he sleeps instead of going to church. Then the work week begins again. Eventually he dies and stands before God, regretful of his sins. But God forgives him and welcomes him into heaven."

"Is that really a children's song?" Tom questioned amusedly.

"The farm boy sings it in 'Emil i Lönneberga', so it’s sort of a children's song, I guess. Or maybe it's meant for the grown ups watching with their children," Nina replied. "It's written by Astrid Lindgren, so it’s for everyone."

"I see. I appreciate the existential theme," Tom told her.

"Me too," Nina agreed and smiled at him. She realised that she enjoyed spending time in his company. Things had become different between them ever since they started working together. She felt like she knew him a bit better now, and ever since he became a father, she had seen a more sensitive side of him. He had expressed his worry for her in more tactful ways and they hadn't been arguing as much as they used to do.

“You’ve spent most weekends at home lately, is something up?” Nina’s mother asked her during dinner.

“I’ve just been tired from work, so I haven’t really felt like doing anything on the weekends,” Nina replied with a shrug.

“Perhaps you should work fewer hours if work is making you so tired,” Helena suggested, looking a bit concerned as she gently caressed her daughter’s cheek. “She could do that, right Tom?”

“I’ve already offered that,” Tom replied, also assuming a look of concern as he looked at Nina. “The offer still stands.”

“No thanks, I’m good,” Nina insisted.

“But you don’t seem to have any energy left for your friends,” Helena objected.

“Isn’t that what life is like as a grown up? All work, no play, and then you die?” Nina questioned gloomily.

“Nina, are you getting depressed again? Are you taking your medications?” Helena asked concernedly.

Nina sighed heavily in response. “I can’t recall ever becoming undepressed,” she muttered and got up from the dinner table, grabbing her plate and glass. “Thanks for the food.”

“You’re welcome,” Tom replied as she left the dining room.

Nina threw away the rest of the food and placed the dishes in the dishwasher before heading to the fridge, grabbing another one of her precious energy drinks. At least they presented her with some joy in her quite lonely life. She would occassionally call Jim over for sex, but other than that, she spent most of her time alone. Nina’s loneliness had been a source of concern for her mother for many years. It had even gotten to the point that Nina sometimes went out for hour long walks, telling her mother that she was seeing a friend. She had done that a lot during the summer, taking a book with her to sit and read by the sea. Her favourite book was one that Tom had gifted her for her nineteenth birthday. It was called The Stranger and was about the absurdity of life and the feeling of alienation. Nina felt alienated a lot of the time, as though she did not belong anywhere in this world.

During the evening, Tom came by her room to check on her.

“Can I come in?” he requested and Nina nodded at him as she sat up in her bed, putting her laptop aside. “We worry about you.”

“There’s nothing to worry about,” Nina told him, pulling her knees up to her chest, hugging them.

“You seem... lonely,” Tom said carefully.

“I need to be alone a lot,” Nina told him. “Being around people takes a lot of energy.”

“Then maybe you should work shorter hours, so you have energy to do fun things with friends and not only work,” Tom suggested. Nina snorted in response.

“What friends?” she asked.

“How about the one you spent a lot of time with this summer? Viktoria?” Tom said.

“Viktoria is not real,” Nina admitted.

“What?” Tom asked confusedly.

“I made her up so mom wouldn’t worry so much about me being alone,” she explained.

“But you were away for hours at a time, sometimes all day and sometimes all night,” Tom said frowningly.

“Yeah, it was kind of fun actually, how you never figured it out when you never got to meet her,” Nina told him with a sad smile. “It’s kind of pathetic, isn’t it? Making up imaginary friends when you’re twenty? And still living with your mother because you’re too afraid of what you would do to yourself if you had to live alone?” she confided in him.

“It’s not pathetic,” Tom said earnestly and put an arm around her shoulders. “I had no idea you were feeling that way. I thought you lived with your mom because you were comfortable that way, not because you were afraid to live alone.”

“Please don’t tell mom about this. I’ve told her that Viktoria moved to Stockholm, so please don’t tell her that she never even existed. She was so happy when she thought I had a best friend,” Nina pleaded.

“I won’t tell her. But I think you need to see someone about this. Didn’t you have a psychologist?” Tom asked.

“It didn’t work out between us, so I stopped going,” Nina reminded him.

“Right,” Tom remembered. “How about finding you a new one. I’ll be more than happy to pay for it.”

“You don’t have to pay for it,” Nina told him. “You gave me a job, remember? I can pay for therapy myself now. Especially as I’m living here for free.”

“I want you to save your money for the future or use them to have fun. I’m paying for your therapy,” Tom insisted.

“I never even agreed that I would go see a therapist,” Nina said.

“Please, see a therapist. It would give your mother and I some peace of mind to know that you have someone to talk to about those things,” Tom pleaded.

“I'll think about it,” Nina told him.

“Thank you,” Tom said with an appreciative smile.

The weekend passed and it was soon Monday again. Nina looked up to see Benedict standing by her desk. He didn’t look pleased. He was probably still upset by the fact that she had spied on him and his family.

“I would like to have a word with you in my office, miss Andersson,” he requested calmly, seemingly holding back on his anger. Nina looked up at him defiantly.

“How about no?” she told him irritably. She didn’t want to be alone with him, because she would probably end up almost having sex with him.

“No?” he questioned incredulously and leaned down over the desk, so that their faces were just decimetres away from each other. She could feel the smell of his cologne and felt an involuntary thrill of excitement run through her body as she looked him in his darkened eyes. “My office now,” he told her firmly in a low voice.

“Fine,” Nina finally agreed, afraid that Benedict would make a scene otherwise. He looked like he could barely contain his anger. She glanced over her shoulder at her colleagues as she followed him to his office. They all seemed busy doing their jobs, not taking notice of what was going on between her and Benedict. She felt relieved. It would be embarrassing if they thought she made major work related mistakes that would have one of her bosses get angry with her. While she had made a major mistake, at least it was not work related.

Benedict shut the curtain and locked the door, just like he had done preceding week. Nina swallowed nervously. Was he going to beat her again? She knew she would agree to it, even if she wished she would have had the integrity and self-respect to tell him no.

"What the hell were you thinking sneaking around my house?" he demanded angrily. "What if Sophie had seen you?"

"Then you would probably be able to come up with a good lie to explain my presence. Because it comes naturally to you, doesn't it? Lying," Nina told him bitterly.

"I hate lying to my wife," Benedict told her. "I already told you that."

"Then don't give yourself any reasons to lie," she replied.

He approached her angrily and Nina found herself slapping him hard across the face. He looked at her in astonishment for a brief moment, then grabbed her by the arm dragging her with him towards the desk. Nina felt herself grow moist between the legs and a tingling sensation in her lower abdomen as he bent her over the desk. She shut her eyes tightly as he pressed her face down against the desk surface and she bit her lip hard as she braced herself for the pain to come. Benedict slapped her bottom hard with his hand several times, before undoing his belt. This time, he waited between the lashes for Nina to recover before landing the next one across her buttocks. Nina whimpered slightly as she neared her limit and he stopped hitting her with the belt. He roughly grabbed her ass, squeezing it with his hands before rolling up her tight pencil skirt over her hips. Nina gasped as he unexpectedly ripped her tights open in the groin and put his hand between her thighs.

“You naughty girl,” he told her as he felt how wet she was. He touched her, moved the thong to the side and entered her with two fingers at a time. He fingerfucked her until he felt her convulse around him, she was shuddering with pleasure and panting heavily. “Did you come?” he asked smirkingly as she stood up and turned around towards him. She put her arms around his neck and brought him into a kiss. They made out and she began to feel horny again. She touched his erect penis through his trousers and stroked it eagerly.

“Fuck me,” she whispered lustfully into his ear. She didn’t need to ask twice. Benedict lifted her up on the desk, undid his black trousers and released his erect penis. Nina smiled satisfiedly at the sight of it before it entered her. “Fuck me hard,” she requested, and he did. She had to bite her lip hard to suppress a loud moan as he fucked her quickly. She orgasmed again and he pulled out of her.

“On your knees,” he ordered, his voice demanding and his eyes darkened with lust. Nina fell to her knees before him and viciously smiled up at him. “Open your mouth,” he said and she quickly obeyed. She felt like a porn star as he ejaculated into her mouth. “Swallow,” Benedict said, but she grimaced in disgust and shook her head at him as she got up to spit out his cum into his coffee cup.

“Oh, you naughty girl,” Benedict commented with a grin as he watched her trying to make herself look presentable.

“How’s my makeup?” she asked him and he looked at her closely before running his thumbs underneath her eyes, wiping away some mascara.

“Did you cry?” he asked her surprisedly as he continued to gently wipe mascara from her cheeks.

“A little bit,” Nina admitted with a shrug and managed to smile at him. The guilt had overwhelmed her the moment she orgasmed for the second time.

“Your makeup probably needs some touch ups, but it looks fine,” Benedict told her as he pulled out his wallet from his pocket. He took out a thousand krona bill and handed it to her. “For a morning-after pill,” he explained as she looked at him confusedly. “I think I might have come a little bit inside of you.”

“You’re making me feel like a cheap whore,” Nina muttered, but accepted the money. Benedict pulled out a couple of more bills from his wallet and tried giving them to her. “No thanks,” she told him and refused to take the money.

“Do you promise you will take a morning-after pill?” he asked her as she turned to leave.

“Of course, I don’t want a child with someone like you,” Nina told him irritably.

“Don’t forget to take the coffee cup with you,” Benedict reminded her with a smirk. Nina angrily went back towards his desk and grabbed the coffee cup, before stalking out of his office. What the hell had she just done?

Nina went into the kitchen and angrily threw the coffee cup into the trash. She then proceeded to kick the trash can until a familiar voice interrupted her.

“Did mister Cumberbatch yell at you again?” Stina asked concernedly.

“He did,” Nina replied, her eyes filling up with tears. Stina went up to her and hugged her.

“I’m sorry that he’s being such an ass to you,” Stina told her sympathetically. “If you want to talk about it, I’m all ears.”

“Thank you, Stina,” Nina told her appreciatively and tightened the hug. They stood like that for a long moment until another colleague entered the kitchen.

“Nina, what’s the company’s policy on workplace relationships?” Erik asked her provocatively. He must have somehow heard about their date.

“It’s fine, as long as you’re keeping it professional at work,” Nina told him as she stepped away from Stina.

“That didn’t look very professional to me,” Erik told her.

“It was just a hug, Erik,” Stina told him and smiled carefreely at him. “I can give you one too, if you like,” she offered cheerfully. “You look like you could use one.”

“No thanks,” Erik said with a grimace and hurriedly left the kitchen.

Nina and Stina shared amused looks before heading back to work.

Nina felt weighed down by guilt for what she had done, but somehow managed to get through the workday. Benedict cheerfully told her goodbye before heading homewards and she replied with an exaggeratedly gleeful ‘see you tomorrow!’ Her smile faded the moment he turned away from her and was replaced by a dark glare.

“What are you glaring at Ben for?” Andrew asked her curiously and she flinched. She hadn’t noticed him standing there a few metres away, watching her interaction with Benedict. “Did something happen?”

“He yelled at me,” Nina said and noticed Stina looking at them from a distance. She couldn’t exactly tell Andrew the truth, now could she? She felt like she wanted to come clean to someone about it, but didn’t know who.

“What for?” Andrew asked and Nina searched her mind for some error she could have made that would make Benedict yell at her.

“I misspelled his name in an important mail,” she lied. “I wrote Cucumberbatch and he found it humiliating.” She couldn’t help but smile at her own lie. Andrew returned her smile.

“I see,” he said amusedly. “I could talk to him about treating you more gently, if you like,” he offered, but Nina shook her head at him in response.

“I’m fine. Now that it’s over, I do find it kind of funny,” she assured him with a genuinely bright smile. She wanted so badly to believe her own lie. How great it would have been if only it had been true.

But it wasn’t true. On the way home, Tom put on her mother’s favourite song about wanting a moon of your own to go to and stay there until everything was alright again. Nina’s filled with tears as she thought about how she just wanted to escape somewhere far away from everything. She wanted a moon of her own to go to.

“Are you alright?” Tom asked her concernedly.

“Yes, I was just thinking about Ted,” Nina told him.

“Ted Gärdestad? Who sings the song?” Tom asked her.

“Yeah. I was thinking about how beautifully he sang and how sadly he died. He killed himself,” Nina told him sadly.

“That’s very tragic,” Tom replied seriously and threw her concerned looks for the rest of the car ride home.

“I’m going for a walk,” Nina informed her mother and Tom after taking a shower and getting dressed into a pair of jeans and a David Bowie t-shirt.

“But dinner is almost ready,” her mother objected.

“I’ll eat when I get back,” Nina assured her and put her shoes and jacket on. Tom took out the trash bags out of the kitchen bins and put on a pair of slippers, following her out.

“Nina,” he said as they reached the bins outside the house. She turned around to look at him. He had a concerned look on his face. “You’re not thinking about doing something rash, are you?” he asked her seriously. Nina frowned slightly and then remembered their conversation in the car earlier.

“I’m not thinking of killing myself, if that’s what you’re talking about,” she told him frankly.

“Good,” Tom replied with a brief smile. His blue eyes still conveyed concern. “Don’t be too long or we’ll get worried.”

“I’m twenty years old,” Nina reminded him. “Not a kid, I can look after myself.”

“I know. But I still want you to be careful and not stay out too long,” Tom insisted. “Remember that you have work tomorrow.”

“I know. See you in a bit,” Nina told him.

Nina just kept walking as she listened to music and tried not to think too much about what was weighing her down. Eventually, she sat down by a lake and looked at the full moon in the sky. Its light was mirrored by the water surface of the lake and she found it breathtakingly beautiful. She turned off the music on her phone and sang softly to herself where she sat on the rocks. She sang the song about the moon as tears rolled down her face. She imagined what Ted must have felt like during his last moments of life and was filled by death agony. She put her phone and headphones down on the rocks before standing up. She looked at the water surface and dived into the cold water with her clothes on. As she reached the surface, Nina gasped at how cold it was and swam back up to the rocks where she climbed up and grabbed her phone.

She was shuddering with cold as she walked back home in soaking wet clothes. As she got inside, Tom came to greet her in the hallway and looked at her in shock.

“What happened?” he asked frowningly.

“I fell,” Nina lied.

“Should I put your phone in a bag of rice?” he offered.

“The phone is fine,” Nina told him. Tom looked at her suspiciously.

“You didn’t fall, did you?” he asked frankly. Nina shrugged at him. “I asked you not to do anything rash.”

“It wasn’t rash, I spared my phone and headphones,” Nina objected.

“Your lips are blue. Come, let’s go down to the basement so your mother doesn’t see you like this,” Tom told her, putting a gentle arm around her shoulder as he walked her down to the basement. “Clothes off and step in the shower, I’ll get you some dry clothes,” he instructed and respectfully turned away as Nina immodestly began to take her clothes off in front of him. She wasn’t trying to seduce him or anything, she was just too cold to care if he saw her naked body.

Nina took a hot shower and smiled sadly to herself as she found a towel and clothes laid out for her. Tom was always being so nice and gentle towards her. For once she felt grateful that he was a little bit boring and not more like Benedict. She realised that she would never be able to live with the guilt if she managed to get Tom to be unfaithful to her mother. She got dressed and went upstairs to find Tom on the sofa in the living room. She walked up to him and smiled.

“Thank you for being so boring,” she told him, causing him to laugh surprisedly.

“I don’t think I’m that boring,” he objected as she sat down in the armchair next to the sofa.

“You’re just the right amount of boring,” Nina said. “I mean it as a compliment.”

“Thanks, I guess,” Tom told her amusedly. “You seem a bit happier now.”

“I am,” Nina told him with a smile.

50 questions tag game

thanks so much for the tag, @slightlyrebelliouswriter23!!!

What is the colour of your hairbrush? which one? my favorite one is purple!

Name a food you never eat: mushrooms. i’m convinced i will die.

Are you typically to warm or too cold? too cold, always. it’s that ~bad circulation~. 

What were you doing 45 minutes ago? updating my quote book!

What's your favourite candy bar? something with chocolate... Heath Bar, maybe? i like toffee!

Have you ever been to a professional sports game? yes, many. a few against my will, but were “FFF.” (forced family fun)

What was the last thing you said out loud? "Why don’t people read directions?”

What is your favourite ice cream? Buckeye Blitz (Graeter’s, always). 

What was the last thing you had to drink? tea with milk and sugar.

Do you like your wallet? i guess. it’s olive green. it’s also helpful for the whole ‘money’ thing our society is built on.

What was the last thing you ate? hardboiled egg!

Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? i don’t even remember when i last bought clothes. i need them, though.

What's the last sporting event you watched? um, maybe the SuperBowl Halftime show? they didn’t run the Derby yet this year!

What is your favourite flavour of popcorn? white cheddar.

Who is the last person you sent a text message to? my friend Grace!

Ever go camping? yes! many times. i live next to a state park.

Do you take vitamins? yes!

Do you go to church every Sunday? lol no, not anymore! but sometimes i listen to certain musical artists and have a religious experience with them.

Do you have a tan? hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha NOOOOO. i’m so pale i’m basically translucent.

Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza? Chinese food!

Do you drink your soda through a straw? if it’s one of my own reusable straws, yes! but also, i don’t drink soda!

What colour socks do you usually wear? they are running socks, so they’re ugly, worn, and a faded white-gray. or i’ll wear fandom-related ones.

Do you ever drive above the speed limit? all the time. basically, if you’re not going at least 5 over, you’re not driving the speed limit

What terrifies you? being stuck.

Look to your left. What do you see? my pillow and my purse.

What chore do you hate most? vacuuming.

What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? That One Couple From The Show That Will Not Be Named

What's your favourite soda? if i had to drink one, probably vanilla Coke. Or Dr. Pepper. flavored ones.

Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thru? drive-thru for sure. isn’t the point of a fast food joint that it’s fast?

What's your favourite number? 23. whatever my age is, usually.

Who's the last person you talked to? my brother!

Favourite cut of beef? ... sirloin? skirt steak? idk man, i don’t really have an opinion on beef. 

Last song you listened to? Work Song by Hozier (i was writing a love story)

Last book you read? Modern Faerie Tales by Holly Black

Favourite day of the week? time is an illusion

Can you say the alphabet backwards? yup. dare me to not do something, and i’ll do it in spades.

How do you like your coffee? as sweet as possible, and with milk

Favourite pair of shoes? i have these tie-dye shoes that are colorful and pretty

Time you normally get up? 7:45am 

Sunrises or sunsets? sunsets

How many blankets are on your bed? 4 (told you i’m cold)

Describe your kitchen plates. idk. they’re my parents’ from their wedding, and they are white and circular with a weird floral design on the rims

Describe your kitchen at the moment. messy. no one’s loaded the dishwasher today and i REFUSE to do it bc i’m currently the only one that does

Do you have a favourite alcoholic drink? tequila or rum

Do you play cards? yes. very well actually.

What colour is your car? blue-green

Do you know how to change a tire? yes, and i’m terrible at it

Your favourite state? asleep and dreaming

Favourite job you've had? german teacher, horseback riding instructor for kindergarteners, and summer program assistant

How did you get your biggest scar? tripping on a rug in my garage and hitting my head on the corner of the concrete stairs + falling off an exercise machine fact-first (this same scar was busted open those 2x within 3 weeks when I was 2 1/2 years old)

Tagging: @slytherinoftarth @aspeckof-stardust @janeaustened

I’ll Keep You Safe (Part 2)

Synopsys: Bodyguard! Bucky; Endgame AU

When Tony Stark asked Bucky to become a bodyguard for the Reader he didn’t think his life would change that much. But it did. And not everything was for the better.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Genre: fluff

Warnings: swearing, nothing much in this chapter really

Word count: 2368

       “Bucky?” the way the name rolled off of her tongue made a shiver ripple down his spine. Her eyebrow was up in a sleek arch, and her hand was warm and soft in his own. He was pretty sure he could spend an eternity just looking at her.        “Yeah – it’s uh a nickname, you know…”        “Oh, I know, I was taught history in school. The Howling Commandoes and Cap were a big part of it. Just didn’t think you still went by it.”        A soft snort escaped him, eyes trained on her back as Y/N moved into the kitchen and opened up the fridge, presumably looking for something to eat.        “Why wouldn’t I?”        “Dunno,” she shrugged her shoulders, pulling out a jug of orange juice and scouring the cupboards for a glass.        “Third from the left,” he softly informed her. The smile Y/N flashed him made his heart skip a beat.        “So,” she started, “given how you’re gonna be my bodyguard or whatever, I’d like to know a few things about you.”        This never went over well. Sure, he was a hermit and rarely made friends, in fact, he never made any new friends, but when he had the opportunity, he somehow managed to screw it up.     Sam and Steve had even tried to set him up on some dates, but they either ended up with the woman walking away the second they came through the door, seeing the Winter Soldier at the table, or it turned out she was using this as an opportunity to get to the Avengers.    But given how Y/N was Stark’s relative, he had an inclination she didn’t need him for that. And it made him even more nervous. He was already fidgeting with the string of his hoodie, ready to completely shut down when she asked why he killed all those people while under Hydra's control, but what came out of her mouth was the last thing he expected.

       “Who names their child after president Buchanan?” Y/N was leaning against the counter, and if Bucky had been drinking that orange juice, he would’ve certainly choked. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, James is a pretty name, but… president Buchanan? I literally cannot remember a single thing he did. Not shitting on your parents, not at all, but you can’t tell me that you haven’t been asked this question before.”        “Actually,” Bucky said chewing on his bottom lip, trying not to let the large smile that was about to spread across his lips, take over his face, “I haven’t. No one has ever asked me why I was named after him.”        She seemed to contemplate his answer before downing the rest of her drink and leaving the glass in the sink. Stark would so be on her ass for not putting it in the dishwasher. “Had I been born back then and knew you, I’d make fun of it.”        With that said, she hollered an ‘I’m going to unpack and then sleep for the rest of the day’ while skipping down the hall, and he shook his head.        “Oh,” she appeared behind the corner startling Bucky from his thoughts way closer than he thought she was. “And you don’t have to be up any time before ten, James. I don’t deal with single digit numbers.”        “It’s Bucky,” he smiled. “You don’t have to be so formal.”        “I know,” there was mischief glinting in her Y/E/C eyes. “But we shouldn’t disrespect the name you’ve been given… James.”

***

       Y/N was woken up by incessant knocking at the door, to the point she thought it would fall out of its hinges. When she ignored it for half a minute, hoping whoever it was, most likely Tony, would go away, there was a glimmer of hope in her heart, that it had worked. Then the door shook again.        “Fucking hell, I’m coming!” she yelled, her voice gruff from being unused throughout the whole night.        Swinging it open with as much force as possible, Y/N gave Bucky Barnes the biggest glare of his life. Not even Natasha’s gaze on an early morning when he had stolen the last bits of coffee, induced as much fear as hers did. She had established herself as a wildcard, and well, he hadn’t instantly fallen in love with Nat, so there was also that.        “What?” Y/N sneered, hair swishing around wildly. She was like a cute dragon, and Bucky almost snorted. “It’s five o’clock in the fucking morning. Your job doesn’t start until I’m up. And I told you – I don’t deal with single digit numbers.”        “False, my job is to protect you and that’s 24/7, but that’s not why I’m here. Tony has added self-defence training to your schedule.”        “At five in the morning?! Jesus Christ, I’m going to kill that asshole. Hey FRIDAY,” Y/N said looking up at the ceiling as if the A.I. would physically appear somewhere up there.        “Yes, Miss Y/L/N?”        “How much would I get for first-degree murder in the state of New York?”        “According to the law – twenty years to life, and up to life without the possibility of parole.”        “Hmm,” Y/N shrugged nonchalantly. “I’m still pretty young. Guess it’s time to get prepared for prison.” She was just about to stalk out of her room and most likely tell Tony’s ear off when Bucky caught onto her arms and gently pushed her back inside.        “No need for violence,” he snickered, seeing her throw her head back with a whine. “Now come on. Fifteen minutes, and I expect you to be down at the gym.”        “I fucking hate you. Both of you!”        “Fifteen minutes!” Bucky said, leaving Y/N to change, and as he went to the elevator, just before the door closed, a loud ‘Fuck off!’ answered the statement.        Maybe this whole Avengers/ bodyguard situation wouldn’t be so bad after all.

***

       “Come on, put that anger you felt for me and Tony this morning to use,” Bucky’s knee was right against Y/N’s chest as she heaved a breath, blowing out a stray piece of hair from her face. It had been the fifth time he’d taken her down, and she had had just about enough.       “Two more reps, and then we’re done for the day.”        “Two more reps,” she grunted as she pushed Bucky’s leg away and onto the floor. “This is abuse. Abuse I tell you!”        Bucky rolled his eyes, tightening up the hairband holding his locks in place. “Now you’re just being dramatic.”        “I’m related to Stark, of course, I’m being dramatic. It’s in our blood,” Y/N snarked getting in a fighting stance.        “Remember, concentrate on the knees. That’s the weakest part from every advantage point.”        Giving Bucky a sarcastic smile, as if they hadn’t been going over the same move for the last two and a half hours, she prepared herself as he stalked towards the woman, ready to ‘attack’. His arms went to circle around Y/N’s body to restrain her, but as they did so, she ducked under his armpit elbowing him in the side. To that Bucky responded by grabbing her by the arm and twisting it around, but this time, she twisted along with it and went straight for his knee, harshly slamming her foot at the side of it, bringing Bucky to the ground.        But he was quicker. Instantly, he grabbed her by the ankle and flung her back. All the air got knocked out of Y/N’s lungs, bringing them to the same position they had been just a few moments ago.        “And despite everything I’ve taught you today, somehow, you’re dead, yet again,” his grip on her arms was tight, but the playful smile on his lips showed nothing but care.        “I hate this,” Y/N pointed up with her eyes around the gym, “I hate you,” she looked directly into his blue orbs making Bucky’s mind go blank, “and I hate Tony. I wish I had never come here, and I wish I was dead.”        “You’re really running for the position of the most dramatic Avenger, aren’t you?”        Y/N’s eyebrow shot up to the middle of the forehead, as Bucky got off of her and extended a hand for her to take. “You just called me an Avenger, so that gives me even more of a reason to act like this.”        “You get what I mean,” he laughed, shaking his head. God, she really was related to Tony.        Together they made their way up to the kitchen. The silence that had settled wasn’t uncomfortable, but it was, in a way, – unsure. Neither knew the another really, but both felt like they could be themselves.        “James, you know you don’t have to follow me everywhere. Especially while I’m in the Tower. We have FRIDAY, Tony’s practically impenetrable security system, and I’m pretty sure the rest of the guys are coming back later today.”        Despite him insisting Y/N called him by his nickname, as everyone did, he couldn’t deny the flutter in his heart when she addressed him by his real name.        “I know, but this is my job now,” he gave her a small smile. “Need to keep you safe no matter where, what or why.”        “At least tell me you didn’t sleep by my door last night,” Y/N sighed, chugging a bit of the water before her eyes widened. “Or worse, that you didn’t sleep at all, and stood there the whole time.”        “I can assure you, I got enough sleep.”        But there was something behind Bucky’s eyes that didn’t allow Y/N to fully believe his statement. It was just like when Tony told her he was alright after working in the lab all night, or when he said his anxiety and PTSD was in check. Or when he claimed he totally hadn’t forgotten a thing Pepper had mentioned and he was so ready to go to it.        “Can I ask, how exactly are you related to Tony?” Bucky’s question took Y/N out from her thoughts. “I’ve never heard Stark mention that he had any living relatives.”    “I’m his mother’s cousin’s daughter. I know, it’s a stretch, but he’s the closest family I’ve got.”    “Not that big of a stretch,” Bucky shrugged following Y/N as they slowly went to the elevator and to her floor. “I mean, Wanda is dating the human embodiment of a microwave. I’ve heard weirder stuff.”    “Wow,” she breathed out drinking the last bits of her water. “What doesn’t happen in a decade when you’re out of the picture.”        “Yeah,” Bucky murmured, “I can relate to that.” But it went unheard by Y/N’s ears. What didn’t you miss when being 70 years under Hydra’s control?        “James, I’ll be fine,” she spoke up as they approached her room. “I don’t think anything bad’s gonna happen while I shower. Of course, there is the threat that my horrible singing will lead to dancing and that will lead to slipping, but that’s all on me.”        “I'd say I should stay just to hear the concert, but I think I'll need protection from that cat choir then. I’ll be on my way to get a shower myself – “    “Good, you stink,” Y/N scrunched up her nose in mock disgust. The comment got her a roll of the eyes, but he wasn’t finished. And she knew where the conversation was going. “Can I just ask one more thing?”        “Uh, sure,” her lip was already between her teeth even before the question was out of Bucky’s mouth.        “Why am I acting as your bodyguard? Why do you need one?”        “Hasn’t Tony told you? Thought it’d be in the contract or whatever,” she knew he hadn’t, but it wouldn’t hurt to delay the inevitable. Tony had been very explicit that it was Y/N’s call to tell Bucky as much as she felt was necessary.        “No, and I’d just like to know what I’m putting my life on the line for.”        “I guess saying that bad people are after me won’t do, will it?”        “Look, I can’t make you tell me anything,” Bucky huffed taking a step closer, “and I’m the last person that would pressure you into something that you don’t want to do. But I feel like it’s the least I deserve to know. I need to know who we’re up against here. Who I need to be prepared for.”        Y/N hugged herself and looked everywhere apart from Bucky as she explained things. Well, not everything but the big overview. “My ex… he was uh involved with some very bad people. He worked for them, still works for them. For a while I was out of the country, moving from place to place… then the snap happened.”        Bucky gulped remembering Steve’s face being the last thing he saw before his body disintegrated.        “Next thing I know, I’m waking up in the middle of the forest where I was out on a run. Thought I just passed out, overworked myself,” she let out a teary chuckle. “Not the case. I uh, immediately contacted Tony. I knew the second someone said ‘Iron Man saved us’ that asshole had done some self-sacrificial bullshit. When I called Pep, and she told me he was alright, I practically collapsed. Went to his house straight away to give him a piece of my mind. I guess the relief, if only for a moment, completely made me forget what was going on in my life… and that’s when shit started to go down again. The uh ex made himself known again, and the threats started once more. Tony offered for me to stay in the Tower, and though I refused, and said I’d be fine, he has a way with words… so here I am, and so are you.”        This time the silence was tense, and uncomfortable before Bucky broke it.        “But that’s not all of it, is it?”        “That’s all that you need to know. The details don’t matter,” Y/N flashed him a tight smile. “I’m gonna go grab a shower. I’ll see you in a bit.”        Bucky couldn’t even interject before he was left alone once more just like the previous day, only this time not with a fluttering heart, but with a heavy feeling in his stomach and more questions than before.

Tags (crossed out wouldn’t take): @shirukitsune @falling-stars-never-cry@lumelgy @palaiasaurus64 @supernaturalbaesduh @breezy1415 @crazy--me @thatawkwardlittlefangirl @sea040561 @staryeyedgirl @deathbyarabbit @s-c-a-r-e-d-po-t-t-e-r @reblogger-not-a-blogger @m-a-t-91 @dalilx @i-need-a-hero-i-need-a-loki @maladaptive-ninja-returns @averyrogers83 @in-the-end-im-still-trash @gallifreyansass @dewy-biitch @avxgers @unlikelygalaxygiver @sweet-ladyy @magicwithaknife @ollyoxenfrees @bnhvrdy @tvwhoresblog @celebsimagines @thatkindofgurl @sj-thefan@thunderous-flower @who-cares-rn @projectxhappiness @callmebucky-doll @coal000 @killuaenthusiast @courtneychicken @sophiealiice @raquelbc2003 @watch-out-for-thorns @potentially-kinetic @thatonegirljessy99 @proxinge @bbkenna @buckysclub @ulired @fangirlofeverythingbasically @mrsalh32611 @horrorx570ximagines @the-nargles-made-me-do-it @pooslie @itsisabelanotisabella @httpmcrvel @purplebananatragedy @pxrrishly @parker-barnes-af @skulliebythesea @california-grown @piensa-bonito @belongsto-prachi @nerissa98 @happyseagrill @asguardiansoftheavengers @crazybutconfidentaf @wishingforahome @pizzarollpatrol @desir-ae @lavalampskyy 

A/N: soo, my tags for Bucky ain’t working and I’m genuinely pissed about that. Tumblr, wtf?! Get your shit together!

P.S. my tags are always open :)

P.S.S. feedback is always appreciated :)

FACT FOR EACH STAR GO GO GO !!!!!!!!!! :D

⭐️I love my boyfriend⭐️When I was little I dropped a can in the garbage on accident and my brother made me crawl in the trash can to get it back out and put it in the right thing.⭐️I have right duane's syndrome. It's a birth defect that makes it so I can't turn my right eye outwards, it stops in the middle and I see double when I try to do it.⭐️I once fell through bleachers from the very top, falling straight down, twenty(20) ft, and I hit five cross bars on my way to the ground. My life did flash before my eyes.⭐️Growing up I wanted to be the first female president. Now I'm a trans man and I hate the government.⭐️I always wanted a husky (I was a wolf and tiger kid) and I got one two years ago and I love her. Her name is Ember.⭐️uhhhhh,,,,,,,, I'm autistic, well specifically I have aspergers⭐️I think you gave me too many stars ⭐️I love space but if I think about the laws of time and space I get too existential and dissociate for hours⭐️I'm having trouble thinking up new facts. F u my friend⭐️I've never been in a play or musical where I didn't have a speaking part⭐️In theatre I played this kid who is two feet taller than me and has non-stop freckled' older brother, so that was fun⭐️How am I supposed to do this without feeling self-centered??? Is that a fact?⭐️I always start writing stories and never finish them.⭐️I have some fucked yo dreams that I will never tell to a single person⭐️Moana is my favorite animated movie, only second to Road to El Dorado⭐️I type like this n lke this n vvvv much like this,,,⭐️I'm watching America's Got Talent right now and it always manages to restore my faith in humanity⭐️also the dancing pumpkin man from that old meme is on America's Got Talent and I love him⭐️I feel so small and then I feel so big and it is weird⭐️I love anyone who messages me, any message or ask. Even hate stuff, like thamknyoi, you took the time to think about me, even if its death wishes, you thought about me⭐️I love doing scary makeup⭐️fucked up shit and horror is my thing, but I can't watch horror movies alone⭐️I used to be really into werewolves and stuff when I first got on the internet and I guess you couldve considered me a furry⭐️I'm in love with my boyfriend⭐️did I mention I love my boyfriend⭐️that doctor who band that was called like Chameleon something??? Idk but they made really good songs. Check them out you guys⭐️COMEDY IS GREAT, FUNNY PEOPLE CAN FUCK ME UP⭐️I'm into dark comedy, but not insensitive comedy. Your racist jokes aren't funny, Barbara.⭐️I love tamale pie. If you haven't had tamale pie you need to have it.⭐️tamale pie and cornbread are the best⭐️sushi is really good⭐️my old choir teacher sang opera and was professionally trained in it.⭐️we had a karaoke day once and he sang karaoke opera for everyone. I'm p sure it was Italian too⭐️we had three foreign exchange students last year at my old school, one from South Korea, one from Finland, and one from Switzerland.⭐️a kid from my school spent part of her year as a foreign exchange student in Spain and when she came back she brought three girls from Spain with her and they cursed a lot⭐️I feel guilty about practically everything I've ever done in my life⭐️SO MANY STARS⭐️I love my boyfriend⭐️the Ghostbusters reboot is a very good movie⭐️I want to go to COS (college of the siskiyous) and then transfer to SOU (Southern Oregon University) so hey, hit me up⭐️one is the loneliest number that you ever did see⭐️I'm sad 24/7 but sometimes that sadness comes across as comedy and that the only reason people like me⭐️I'm a minor⭐️I'm hot as fuck, get on my level twunk⭐️I hate terfs⭐️I want to be so rich that if I wanted to I could pay for everyone in the entire North America and South America to have enough food for three square meals a day⭐️i own a hat that says "black lives matter" and I've gotten ripped off my head more than once while riding my bus home⭐️I have a slight hitchhikers thumb⭐️I was born with brown hair but by the time I was two months old my hair was white⭐️I have owned four(4) rats, two(2) rabbits, seven(7) cats, two(2) guinea pigs, five(5) dogs, and one(1) hamster named Eddie.⭐️I am a self-taught horse-rider⭐️I have been to two(2) rodeos.⭐️I have asthma⭐️I love my boyfriend⭐️so I love my boyfriend⭐️I chew on ice⭐️I order snow cones without any flavoring⭐️snow cones without any flavoring are cheaper⭐️SO MANY STARS⭐️I could've gotten more asks by now and I wouldn't know because I'm answering your stars⭐️I cry too easily⭐️I pass surprisingly well for being a trans guy who has not started T⭐️my family once sat at the dinner table on thanksgiving talking about how my mom had the right to hit me and I would not be allowed to defend myself⭐️I love my boyfriend⭐️I didn't know my dad was alive for the first twelve years of my life aside from the fact that we got the occasional eleven(11) dollar child support⭐️I love dogs⭐️I love cats ⭐️I love birds⭐️I love lizards⭐️I love snakes⭐️I love rats⭐️I love mice⭐️I love fish⭐️that guy on YouTube, Coyote Peterson is my goals as a person. If I could just live as a guy who goes around and finds wildlife I would never ask for another thing in my life⭐️I've recently started playing Pokémon Go again. It's fun⭐️my first Pokémon was a pikachu⭐️I've already traded my first Pokémon for more candies because I'm vain and want to be the very best⭐️I used to be a compulsive liars and would spend hours at night crying because I thought I was a horrible person for it. I was seven(7) at the time.⭐️I'm a trans⭐️koala bears are actively not helping themselves stay alive, not a fact about me, just a fact I like.⭐️I love my boyfriend⭐️I just got a new kitten named Periwinkle Blue⭐️if I die before I travel to at least one(1) foreign country I will have died a sad man⭐️my great grandpa was Jewish and I carry a lot of that culture and its traditions down with me, despite not actually considering myself part of the religion.⭐️I'm a descendant of the Karuk tribe which is located in Northern California. I speak very little Karuk but it's a very pretty language!⭐️I'm also Irish, German, and as mentioned above (or alluded to at least) Hebrew.⭐️I'm white passing as far as my Native American roots go, and trust me, it is awkward being the whitest person at the tribal meetings.⭐️my birthname was the same name my great grandmother had, but is spelt in the newer form, not the Hebrew translated English form.⭐️I live in a very country oriented town. Everyone owns a cow. Or a pig. I almost owned a pig once.⭐️a lot of people say I'm not actually a trans guy because I was too much of an outstanding girl⭐️my insurance won't cover my top surgery⭐️I work as a dishwasher and it sucks ass⭐️I want to quit my job⭐️I love my boyfriend⭐️I went vegetarian for two weeks and then caved for a bag of salami someone left on the counter⭐️I drink at least one(1) Pepsi zero a day⭐️the first website I ever roleplayed on was QuoteV.com⭐️my mom just brought me a Fitbit that she got for me. What does this mean?⭐️I'm technically overweight yet look like the average "healthy" body.⭐️I have Mono⭐️I had lice in second(2) grade and lost many of my beloved stuffed animals because of that⭐️because of trauma I regress on occasion and my YouTube watch history is always interesting when that happens.⭐️I have extremely bad anxiety and don't even realize it half the time⭐️Jimmy Fallon is better than Jimmy Kimmel⭐️I once played a union soldier in a civil war reenactment held by a traveling group of reenactors and trust me, they do not mess around. If you've ever been in something like that you know that they are practically in character 24/7⭐️I love little kids but feel like I'm horrible with babies⭐️I fear I'll be a horrible parent and make my child feel the way my mom makes me feel⭐️I tried to get myself emancipated once and sadly failed as I'd gone through with a Or of the process before someone told me I wasn't old enough yet.⭐️stars are dying balls of gas⭐️I love my boyfriend ⭐️ SO MANY FUCKING STARS JESUS HAROLD CHRIST⭐️The H in Jesus H Christ stands for Harold, I looked it up once.⭐️I don't kinkshame but people should be a bit more conscious of what they do in general public access places.⭐️I've been in two(2) abusive relationships⭐️I take a lot of meds⭐️I might start T this year or next year⭐️I want top surgery before I graduate high school or the summer before I go to college⭐️I relate to Tony Stark as a person way to much⭐️I hate when the Hulk is only Hulk and never Bruce Banner⭐️I'm pretty self-confident most the time⭐️I've brought a blanket with me to school on more than one(1) occasion.⭐️I'm naturally a night owl and sleep better when sleeping during the day⭐️I take commissions for my art and you should commission me.⭐️currently I own three(3) dogs and two(2) cats. Mattie, the German shorthair mix, Ember the Alaskan/Siberian husky mix, and Memphis the purebred Doberman pinscher. One(1) adult cat named Freckles and one(1) kitten named Periwinkle Blue.⭐️I love video games.⭐️I love theories. Let's talk theories all day. Any theory, let's talk.⭐️I love talking about sociology and social expectations that aren't realized.⭐️I love collecting odd knick-knacks. I have many weird artifacts around my room, gathered by me or my yard-sale enthusiast grandpa.⭐️I hate Donald Drumpf.⭐️I love my boyfriend⭐️I love my boyfriend⭐️I love my boyfriend⭐️I hope my boyfriend loves me⭐️the best animated characters to ever exist are Jesse, James, and Meowth from Pokemon.⭐️I'm taking PE independently at my new school⭐️I love singing and acting but I worry that I'm the person that is really bad at it and no one will tell me⭐️I also love doing special effects makeup⭐️sculpting is great fun⭐️I'll be going to the San Francisco comic con this September so if you're there come see me⭐️I'm going to be Dipper for comic con and my boyfriend is going to be Bill Cipher⭐️Arya from Game of Thrones is the best young actress I've ever seen⭐️then again she's not actually that young⭐️I once got stung by a scorpion while being inside my own home on my own bed⭐️till I was like seven(7) I had to share a room with my mom because we didn't have a house big enough for me to sleep anywhere else⭐️my dog Mattie's fullname is Calamity Anastasia Strelow⭐️at the school I used to attend a kid dressed up as a "tr*nny" for Halloween and wasn't told to take off his costume till someone who wasn't trans and out at the school complained and that took me begging my friend.⭐️I love my boyfriend⭐️I'm Bigfoot and my boyfriend is Mothman⭐️Atomic Blond looks like a really good movie⭐️my first(1) two(2) rats were named Loulou and Pepper⭐️my rabbits were Midnight and Petals.⭐️my hamster was a Russian dwarf hamster and he ended up being eaten by my cat Bobby Joe who was eaten by a mountain lion from the local area⭐️a bear has been seen on my old elementary school's campus five(5) times in my lifetime⭐️wolves were once seen by the only starbucks in my town which was only opened up last year⭐️I live in a major gold mining area and I5 runs right through the town next to mine which is practically where I live⭐️I love my boyfriend⭐️I've had a full body massage once(1) in my life and let me tell you, you haven't lived till you've had your butt massaged⭐️I've taken like three(3) different classes for martial arts and never really followed through with any of them⭐️I've only been bitten by one dog in my entire life and it was completely my fault⭐️this post is too long Jesus fuck⭐️why⭐️the emoji movie doesn't actually look that bad in my opinion⭐️Despicable Me3(three) was actually a really good movie.⭐️I hate bad acting but I respect the effort⭐️every sibling I have is a half-sibling⭐️I'm a horrible person⭐️but I'm also the only good person alive aside from my friends and boyfriend so I'm conflicted ⭐️The Gay and Wondrous Life of Caleb Gallo is a must see by anyone who considers them self part of the LGBTQ+ community⭐️I don't consider queer a slur personally but I understand the history of it and I never have and never will use it to describe someone or a group of people without their explicit permission⭐️before I came out as a trans guy I thought I was gebderfluid⭐️Chase Ross is an awesome guy⭐️I feel like I look like Ronan from The Raven Cycle with my new haircut, but I always pictured him with a darker complexion so idk⭐️I hate Caitlin Jenner as a person, but not for her gender identity in and of itself.⭐️my phone is getting very warm⭐️these stars are horribly shaded⭐️I love being trans and don't regret it at all⭐️my husky is probably my favorite dog so far⭐️TOO MANY STARS⭐️I don't know anythinh⭐️I'm actually a robot and this is all a lie⭐️I want to be a popular blogger or like a YouTube or something but hhhhnnnnnggg⭐️I'm really into literature and English and history and everything about all of that⭐️I made my signature while scribbling and realized a particular scribble looked like my initials⭐️I love my boyfriend⭐️I watch too many shows ⭐️I want to be a teacher kind of⭐️I want a better job⭐️I want to be who I see in the mirror when I've got all thecright clothes on and I'm feeling confident ⭐️I want to be a better person⭐️I want to be amazing⭐️I want to be a good human being⭐️I want to be special⭐️I want to be good enough⭐️I want to be happy⭐️I want to be healthy⭐️I want to be happy with who I am⭐️I want to be me⭐️I want to be cool⭐️I want to realize that I can be all this things if I just let myself⭐️I want to kiss John Boyega⭐️I want to hug Chris Pratt⭐️I want to smile the way I smile when I see my boyfriend⭐️I love my boyfriend⭐️I want more scars⭐️I want to be more adventurous⭐️I want to be a great person⭐️I want to live a good life⭐️I want Drumpf to resign⭐️I want to be famous⭐️I want to be immortal for all the good and bad it brings⭐️I want to be good⭐️I want to be happy⭐️I want this to end⭐️I love my boyfriend