imagine having ur entire life taken away from you because of an item you purchased for the sole purpose of studying. imagine that item driving you away from everyone you love and causing your mind to slowly deteriorate until you cant be around anyone anymore without hurting them even if not intentionally. imagine living as this cold and morally messed up shell of a man for 1000 years. imagine ur fiancée from the past going insane trying to save u and eventually ending up sacrificing herself to make you YOU again but now you dont even want to be you. now imagine everybody in your life reminding u of the man u used to be and talking about how fun and awesome and cool he was when u said urself u would rather die than be him again. now ur in a world where u dont understand anything and everybody just seems to want the old you back, and ur fiancée is gone and ur daughter doesnt need u so u dont have a purpose anymore. even the people who didnt know the old u always talk about how fun he must've been as if it wasnt the worst time of ur entire life. NO WONDER HE IS GIVING UP!!!!!!!

I want Rick Grimes sweaty, bloody and dirty I will slurp that man up likes he’s the soup of the day

I'd be way better off if i didn't wake up and choose insanity

Tutorial on how to install "Make life easy" mod apk android! 😭😔

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Really, Really sorry but please read all of the above tho.

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RAWR X3 IM SO UNSTABLE AND MENTAL IM GONNA KILL YOU!!!! XDDDD IM GONNA KILL MYSELF YEAH JUST LIKE REBYXX!!! /LYR!!!!!! LOL TREAT ME LIKE IM THAT INSANE CONTINUE TO TREAT ME LIKE IM DANGEROUS GET AWAY FROM ME DONT TOUCH ME IM A FUCKING BERSERKER THREAT TO YOU ALL IM FUCKING TERRIBLE

When i recorded him verbally berating and abusing me cuz he sounded legit insane and was talking a mile a minute did not sound well loke he always wld tell me how crazy i am and try to make me question my sanity but he was the most mentally unstable person ive met besides myself Lol and like the reason. iwas crazy was largly due to his abuse so idk Anyway i recorded it cuz i was scared if he calls the cops on me cuz he constantly threatened to Involuntarily commit me (Literally so stupid cuz thats not eben how it works. he just used it to scare me and threaten me lol) for no reason like whenever he wanted to exert power over me ig and hed say im so crazy and hell show the cops how crazy i am so i recorded hi mbeing verballg abusive to me like leading ip to the very end of the relationship maybe the night of i think in case i had to show someone if he tried to say some crazy shit against me or act liek im the crazy one for no reason. like i literally did go crazy bc of him esp towards the end like being subjected to the shit he put me thru when he wld not let me go home for thanksgiving and quite literally trapped me in our home taking my phone forcefully keeping me on the couch it was so terrifyinf or when he went in violent rampages and wed get itno physical fights and hed like force me into a closet when i was havinf a panic attack and losing my mind bc he was keeping me trapped in a room w him and i felt unsafe w him at that point like my mental sanity was gone i was so distressed bc he took away my autonomy over myself. And anyway idk like in the recording hes gojng off on me calling me a slut hust being rly nasty and i literally tell him u dont get to sit here and verbally abuse me i broke up w u so just be done and he literallg says "yes i can u know what i can verballg abuse u bc u can leave" Which is wild cuz obviously i cldnt leave like him saying i can leabe is funny as fuck bc he follows me borderline stalking me like will b right up my ass if i walk outside and be in my ear berating me and threatening Involuntarily commitment which is what h did when i left and i knocked on the neighbors door to use theirphone since he took mine. Its just crazy being w someone wh o says that to ur face. the end

I just read the surprise/early update and the sound I made followed by "Torielllll....! :(" after I finished... the anguish I felt is indescribable. This poor, poor woman, if only she knew why this feeling of not knowing what is "real" was because of the resets... You captured the feelings of terror, discombobulation, and bewilderment perfectly. A perfect punch in the gut!

oof yeah i feel in hindsight Toriel learning about the timelines was under-explored. ALSO SORRY IM RAMBLY TONIGHT LOL i just feel like talkin at lenght so apologies for all the long posts past midnight aslfkjasdlf. also THANK YOU for all ur kind asks i don't always answer cause when i get nice asks i like looking at them often but that means i don't respond ;o;

Her reaction is to care about how Asriel must of felt using the power (and granted, in the tumblr version she doesn't know/understand the fact that Asriel was Flowey for a long time before being revived as Asriel. Though in the redraw she's going to learn earlier.) anyway she's like, oh, that must been tough on Asriel ): how lonely

but like??? now i realize she'd have permanent deja vu from all the reloads that weren't erased with a true reset. (which, in AFR universe, isn't even a guarantee) she's suffered from this ability, more so than anyone else as she's the only one to truly know all the kids who've come through the Ruins. (Asgore is also the only other guaranteed one, but uh, we already know his... baggage... with the reloads...)

anyway when she finds out, she's going to go "ok? insane but you have scientific evidence let me adjust to this wild new information" to "wait wait were those unstable years when the kids fell REAL? my kids actually DID kill me? HELLO?" and that's going to be. interesting to explore!

i feel like it could even be an EARLY reveal! I feel like Hol specifically is going to want to apologize for what they did. And now that I have opportunity to explore how Asriel is going to explain the age-up is more than just "oh yeah i was a flower for a while" cause. Toriel KNOWS the amalgamate experiments are (vaguely) recent. She fired Dr.Alphys over it. She knows the details now. So Asriel's explanation of being a flower for years in secret makes no damn sense if they've grown to 16 years old when they died at 12.

So yeah, that's going to be something that'll be pushed to a boiling point in the next chapter(s). HOW exactly is she going to handle all this??? like obviously, she's not going to treat this the same if this were adults committing these horrible acts. they're children. Toriel will continue to love them and forgive them because it truly is not the same situation as it would be with, say, Asgore making the calcuatled decision to murder innocent people. like Hol thinking they're some adventurer badass and killing a monster is very much different from that. (and yeah Asgore is more complicated as it relates to war and the barrier and all that bla bla)

Anyway rambling aside i really really look forward to exploring this. cause like, frankly, toriel canonically has all that angsty bs that people put on sans (when he doesn't even remember reloads or gets killed except last minute in no mercy runs 🙄) like toriel had 6 human kids who canonically reloaded around her. give me THAT angst and exploration of that's consequences. I like getting the chance to explore more of Toriel's psychology, baggage and her journey to moving past that. i'm really sad we don't get to see how toriel improved as a mother and person in AFR but rather just that she did. now we get to!!! fuck yeah!

but yeah god what a horrifying, truly awful thing to experience. like on one hand, she must be relieved "oh so there's nothing actually wrong with my reality i don't have a life altering memory related mental illness (yet)" but also "oh so that was all real and i can never truly look at these kids without knowing they've done something truly, truly unforgivable to me. (but i will forgive them)"

AND NOW i'm thinking that toriel had to been told by flowey at some point what they've done to her too. in one of those reloads, flowey likely confessed to get a reaction from her. after the shock of it, she'd pretend it didn't bother her to forgive them. and that'd build up resentment because Flowey doesn't want to be forgiven, they want punishment and consequences and for it to have mattered.

just. AUGH. so many thoughts on this its killing me inside

most of all, I'm hoping that now that I'm getting some actual medical help, my mother will actually start believing me and allowing me accommodations without me having to have a violent meltdown and suicidal episode to get it because I'm triggered insanely bad. Like maybe me asking for stuff to prevent an episode IS the warning. I'm sick and tired of getting my requests and needs ignored until I have a whole ass emotional break and psychotic episode and risk harming myself because my mental state is so fucking fragile when I tried so damn hard to get me that help to AVOID THIS EXACT SCENARIO.

And maybe she'll actually start helping me get some things to aid my mobility, but who knows. I'm mostly surviving until I can move in with MA and he'll help me out, bruh. Dude. I cant. I effing cant.

I'm just so sick and tired of doing everything I can to protect my mental and physical state just to avoid some really bad episode. And with the shit I'm uncovering now, like, dude. No wonder I have such insanely bad control issues. This bitch is so much more unstable than previously thought. I try so damn hard to avoid insanely bad episodes whether it be physical pain or emotional crisis/distress and my parents don't take it seriously. Then I have a whole episode cause I'm pushed to the fucking edge and then they blame me for not controlling my emotions. I wish I could just fucking scream about all the stuff that is going on in my head, but they wouldn't get it. They barely get my anxiety, let alone if I opened up about other shit. And when I DID open up about delusions or hallucinations, my mom just brushed it off cause she experienced that too. Either she does not feel it to the same degree or she does and that's ALSO WORRYING but she doesn't see it that way or both. Like girl. I mean legitimate hallucinations and delusions. It ain't good if you're experiencing that too. But what do I expect.

I just hope this will improve my living situation until I can move in with MA and we can work together to properly accommodate me since they actually fucking believe me and don't treat me like I'm lazy and bratty and unwilling because I'm in severe pain or I am dissociated as fuck and barely feel alive. My fucking plant is less fragile than me.

Just so tired of being pushed to the edge then treated like a monster and like I'm crazy. Like thanks. You're worsening the fucking things some of my alters tell me which only makes me wanna rot even more.

Like it's been a good while since a bad episode has happened thanks to them questioning me when I'm in an extreme brain fog and dissociated state and just asking for help since I'm in so much pain. But dude. It still hurts. It still fucking hurts and makes me mad. I can't wait to move out and actually get to feel alive because someone actually fucking looks at me like I'm a person that needs help and can't do it all myself. Cause I'll be with someone that is going to help me and reassure me over the tiniest things that I've been guilted over for before. That we'll actually work to get me mobility aids and I can't wait until the day I can move around and do more because I don't have to force myself to walk as if im a perfectly functional human being with a perfectly functional body. I'm just so tired of being mistreated then made to feel like I'm crazy and I'm the abuser because I was neglected and had my physical and mental issues overlooked and blamed on me for years so much so I would punish myself. And you know what's sad? Even typing this...I feel like I'm a terrible person and I'm hating myself. I feel sick. I hate that I'm made to feel this way cause of how I've been treated since I was literally fucking 3 and 4 years old. Not to mention the system shit that I don't ever want to get into publicly due to the distress it causes me and the asshole alters in here.

I just saw your OC drawings post and damn, they look cool! I'd love to hear more about them (if you want). :)

-🪐

erm. yes please.

tw for some maybe dark topics like eds and menyal health. also school shootings. also huge infodump wanring.

this is MAX hes 13 and i think they r my favorite. he is non binary and uses he/they and alex is his bff. theyre kinda like edd from eddsworld personality wise. like theyre the main character and kind but also sarcastic and likes to pull pranks. i love him so dearly. he is bisexual

he is african and has two moms. max is rolling with the lgbt. them and alex have a very sibling like bond as they met when they were young and maxs family took alex in as if she wwre their own. they didnt adopt her her parents r just so neglectful that they judt took care of her. they are the bestest friends ever.

max deals with a toxic relationship during thhe show (its basically this show i made up in my head so im gonna say show) whereas this guy takes advantege of them and it fucks them up big tome. and theo is sad the entire time because he has feelings for max. more about theo down below!!!!vv

the one on the left is alex!!! shes 13 she has black hair dyed pink on the ends and shes autistic and obsessed with bombs and shes trigger-happy. shes like kind of obsessed with violent stuff but she radiates sunshine and shes literally batshit insane but i love her. she is a lesbian as seen from this photo

she is half filipino and half mexican. her father is absent and her mom is lowkey neglectful as fuck. shes also missing an eye and wears an eye badnage rhing. she dealth with lots of bullying when she was younger and actually is very dangerous she shiuld be locked up.

one on the right is sam and shes a trans lesbian. she is really kind and nice and uust goes along with everyone, but she has like a dark side n lets her walls down around her gf alex and her friends. she struggles with mental health issues and is also autistic and has a hard time showing her emotiosn and speaking. she can be serious sometimes and its kinda scary how she switches from being dark and brooding to all nice and talkative. basically she masks super hard but shes a rlly good person i love her.

she has an eating disorder. i havent decided what one but she struggles with body dysmorphia and body dysphoria. she is struggling all over

she has dark dark brown locs with gold rings in them. she has dark skin and usually wears a yellow tank top, a purple jacket and blue jeans + white shoes. pastel color scheme

sam again ^

this is theo i have way more photos of him but im too tored to go get them. hes 14 and trans and gay and i lvor him. hes kind of the smart one think tom from eddsworld. he has a goofy side thoigh and really cherishes his friends. he is autisitc too and he behaves very differently from how he thinks. he doesnt mean to come off as rude and cold but he cant help it. basically i am projecting very hard. i love him.

he has grey hair and green eyes and tan skin. his mom is white and his dad is black so he is mixed. his roots are a dark brown

he has some family issues and lives in a low-income house. he is so cool thougj i love him.

basically theyre all Utistic and go on wacky adventures Nd theyre all frienfs. theres more characters in the story and i will post them when they get named. anyways ive made like a future au for them, there are two different 'endings'for the story ive deciided

basically one is like they all be normal and max starts a company and gets all successful and alex is like super tech savvy and mechanical so shes like a worker for him and he pays her and theyre like a business duo. and theo is like a successful scientist too and i think sam is something idk but i have a deisgn for her and shes all goth snd pretty but idk what she does in tje fuyute.

the other ending (bad endging warning!!) is alex (the really unstable and trigger happy one) loses it and shoots up their school. she goes to prison for a long time and max and her friends are really bretrayed. and then they meet in the future when she gets release and their friendship is never the same and. its justnlike really angsty and sad and it makes me sad and i feel like its mean to put them througj that so i consider the ending where they grow up happy as the canon one. i still like the idea of alex going crazy so ill probably make some stuff for that

anyways tjx for listening i LOVE my ocs and i never get to talk about them. probably gonna post them more because of this. this post took 30 minutes to weite

ed , cal count , long rant

WHY DO I WANT TO EAT MORE. i just had a whole ass fucking pb&j sandwich and applesauce (yes i am a child) i do not need MORE ughhghhhh and it's 9pm why would i need to eat more?? i've already eaten too much today ughhh . over 1300 cals literally over my bmr i neeeeeed to stop eating but i am Going Insane this is probably also because i gained a bit of weight from yesterday so uhhh brain decided to give up !! stoooop stop i have stupid fucking "umm ackshually you alrerady fucked up today so just give up" mindset fighting me right now LEAAAVE ME ALONEEEEEEEEE i should just.. go to bed or something. WHY WON'T IT STOP. i want to just give up and Binge but i shouldn't i should NOT i cannot. i haven't ruined my day i haven't ruined my day . ughh . bangs head on wall . I WANT TO EAAAAAT fuck maybe if i jjust purge (again) gheughsd no . actually im probably over even 1400 or something because i didn't count dinner cals since i purged it but i doubt i lost all the cals . lol . I HATE MY BRAIIIIIIN LEAVE ME ALLOOOOOONE ugh . ughGHGHGHGH . i might just have to go to bed early so i don't eat even more :( i think i need to start intermittent fasting again,, cuz then i literally Can't binge at night because i Won't be eating . lol . mostly my binges r triggered by me giving up so,, having a rule like that should stpo that at least right?? I HATE MY BODYYY ugh if i gain more weight im going to actually just. have a mental breakdown and lock myself in my room (my weight would still probably be lower than it was a week ago) hgdgdsfnsd i hope i dont have to do anything tomorrow i think i'm going to be unstable. idk. my mood for the day is partially dictated on how well my weigh in goes that morning soooo,,,, hmmm we'll see guys!! kind of like gambling!! i feel so BIG ugh like i feel the fat growing on my body and i feel so Uncomfortable and i feel my Teeth Rotting and i feel the Sugar inside of me and umm idk feels like im getting diabetes LIVE . god im so scared im gonna get diabetes this is why im going to **** ******* LOL anyway . i hope i don't gain weight!!!!!!!! genuinely i will turn evil i will go insane feral crazy . umm yeaaaaahhh teehee

blupani for the ship bingo if youre still doing that one!

im so autistic and insane over these two you have no idea.

they’re both mentally ill and in my hc have an odd history with their relationship. timpani is a very reserved neurodivergent mentally ill girl who often wondered off out of her village and eventually that led to her finding a hurt blumiere one day, and you know how the rest goes.

she was kind of an outcast due to her odd behavior, her family, while not terribly neglectful, didn’t seem to be that present in her close life due to being busy with jobs and such. she holds some resentment towards them and moved to live independently at the young age of 19. she’s a very knowledgeable girl, often spending her time studying the world and exploring. she always found it fascinating and beautiful and stuck with the ideology that all things have a heart, and cherishes many things. she’s pretty snappy and blunt partly because of her possible autism. she understands social cues better than most, but it’s clear she struggles a little

(tw for abuse, transphobia, and a sui attempt mentions moving forward)

as for blumiere, he came from a very pressuring and almost abusive (okay well, it was) family. he was a prince, yes, but often treated like a disappointment and his father held up very unrealistic and high expectations from him. most common forms of this mistreatment was emotional degradation and overall neglect. it didn’t help that he was born as a princess who ofc transitioned to be a masc leaning transgender person. his father let him be openly out, but he always voiced his distaste for it in private, often expressing that blumiere was a disappointment to the family.

blumiere was also just a very lonely person. he didn’t have many friends due to being mentally unstable and often having rocky relationships due to it. his bpd didn’t help him with his already troubling life. he had obsession issues, delusions, and very intense mood swings and horrible episodes of erratic moods, as well as being impulsive. eventually he felt as though he wouldn’t amount to anything due to everything happening, and well, you see where i’m going with the cliff thing.

(triggering stuff over)

i plan to write a whole thing on blumiere and timpani’s relationship on its own post, so i’ll keep it short. basically the two had an intense relationship. timpani eventually grew to be blumiere’s favorite person and that led to a shit ton of issues. this also explains blumiere’s intense reaction to her “death.”

oh yeah, i guess i should explain the romantic thing?

im arospec, which means i experience little to no romantic attraction. i basically see myself as blumiere, which means he’s arospec too because fuck you. /lh i always sought comfort in the idea of blumiere and timpani being in a queerplatonic relationship. also i just think the idea of queerplatonic love saving the multiverse from destruction to be badass as hell??? like fuck your romantic norms the most powerful lovers are on a qpr now.

also i’m sorry you guys already know how much i love enemy/exes blupani. i just think they’re silly.

blumiere is overall very sappy and loving with his wife, horrible case of i love my wife syndrome if you will. he’s also a jealous and clingy fuck because he’s sick in the head /lh he grew playfully jealous of mario after the events of spm, often being pouty over petty things and “well i can do that better than mario,,,” as much as he flirts with timpani and is very corny whenever that love is returned he becomes a flustered mess.

timpani knows this, she finds her husband charming and adorable, she loves dedicating so much time to affection sessions of her just smothering him with kisses and loving phrases. she also becomes good at reassuring blumiere whenever he gets insecure and jealous. with due time blumiere gets better and better to the point of not needing as much reassurance as he used to, making timpani proud.

sorry this ramble is very messy i just love these two so much. again i’ll make a proper post for these two sometime, but yeah!!!

Crying screaming throwning up rn i have so much to memorize motivation gone for shit no longer happiness i have to much to finish even in just digitaly pls let me not think and let me lay here like a garbage at my bed for eternity.

satsuriku no tenshi ( angel of death)

3.5/5

ok right finally already finished this one. haruka's reason why she watched it: first of all, RACHEL. secondly, there's a scene where remind me of darling in the franxx. lastly, DEATH. ok lol cut that crap, so like i didn't play the original game before watching the anime (hindi ko kasi alam meron???) so i had to check to see if it was based on a video game bcos the plot kept me intrigued and had me trouble connecting some of the scenes.

ok rachel, she's pretty but delusional. and obviously unstable mentally, as who wouldn't be after what she's been through?? it's so traumatic. her family is so fucked up. if i were in her shoes, i would have already taken my own life. knowing her was already dead inside and having insane parents made it simple for her to kill herself, but if she did, there wouldn't be any of the anime im currently blabbering on about diba???? lmao

tell me tell me

i wish to know about this utmv

tell me everything

pretty please? 🥺

OH MY GOD!!!! YES!!!!!!!!!! IM AHkcjzkahskshkabzao WOWOOWOWOWOWOOOOOOO

OKAY OKAY SO!!!!

We haven't figured out the reason yet (possibly a disease or something? Maybe??) but the premise of this AU is that Killer goes absolutely fucking insane. Just. Completely gone. He's just not there anymore.

(tw for a LOT of death, description of murder, handling a corpse thoughts of suicide, and stuff like that below the cut, also body horror in the picrews. Seriously, DO NOT read of you're sensitive to that stuff or not in a good mindset.)

All of the main crew (Nm, Killer, Dust, Horror, Cross, Error, Dream, Ink, and Blue) live relatively close together. Killer, in this completely insane mental state, goes to each of their houses and murders them. Yes, we planned a description of how each of them died because of how their ghost appearances are.

Dream - His death was the quickest. He was the first Killer visited. Killer first tried to off him with his bare hands, but that didn't work, so he just snapped Dream's neck.

Ink - Killer was smarter this time; He got a weapon. A knife, specifically. Killer, between his frenzy and Ink fighting back, made a gash in his mouth, causing it to be opened almost all the way to the ear. Then, with Ink passed out from pain, Killer stabbed him straight in the heart.

Blue - Similarly to Ink's altercation, Blue fought back. Blue (along with Cross) is very strong, as he's been training alongside Cross to be a bodyguard in this AU. In the fight, Killer was pushed back, but he already had his knife close to Blue's face, and this resulted in his lower eyelid being sliced down to the middle of his cheek. Blue, disoriented, cradled his face, giving Killer a chance to strike him down.

Nightmare - Nightmare would be one of the harder ones to strike down, and Killer knew it. So Killer snuck into his house, and threw together a concoction of random household chemicals throw at Nightmare. He put this deadly mixture in a bottle, and rushed at Nightmare, throwing it at him. Nightmare was stunned, the chemicals searing his face. Killer took the chance to knock him down, stabbing him multiple times.

Horror - Killer knew he wouldn't be able to take on Horror's strength, he was pretty muscular. So Killer got some gasoline, threw it at Horror, lit a match and threw it at him, allowing him to burn to death.

Cross - Cross was asleep at the time of Killer's arrival. So, Killer took advantage of this. And instead of just killing him, he tortured him. Slowly and definitely painfully. Of course Cross woke up after the first slice on his cheek. He was cut from the right side of his face down to his right shoulder.

Error - Error definitely put up a fight, but Killer slashed, and he slashed hard. Error died of blood loss during the fight.

Dust - Dust was the last of the victims. He was dismembered. Killer, at the end of the dismemberment, snapped out of his frenzy. He was still unstable, however. He tried to "put Dust back together." Of course, it didn't work. All he was doing was rearranging the body parts.

Killer, after realizing what he'd done to everyone, was very tempted to take his own life. But, once he realized he was being haunted by the ghosts of his victims, he decided to live with the hauntings as a punishment to himself.

Picrew time! All of them are ghosts except for Killer.

Pictured left to right

First row: Nightmare, Killer, Dream

Second row: Horror, Dust, Blue

Third row: Error, Ink, Cross

That's basically it! Oh, and the picrew link:

(this AU was not inspired by TMA, we just used the picrew bc it had the body horror elements)

Why do I feel like this . Noone cares about me not even my boyfriend noone check up on me no more noone is even trying to understand me all of them have someone already to replace me , am I that useless ?? do I really deserve this. I don't even think I want to be alive anymore I want to kill myself so bad or maybe jump off from a high hill or maybe I could just kill myself in the most tragic ways by slowly starving myself and making myself suffer slowly... I don't really want to live anymore I don't think noone even needs me no more fuck I miss the old me why do I have such a negative thoughts I feel like killing myself right now at this time this exact time man I can't even think straight I keep losing myself in my own mind while having so many words in it it's slowly making me insane I wish someone notice but I don't want them to notice I just want to hug someone so bad I hate having a heavy heart and the urge to cry every single day it's not making me feel sane and I hate getting mixed feelings by him . Am I getting love bombed?? Is he losing interest in me did he find another girl that's better than me ? I guess I deserves it . I'm weird and crazy anyways that's what he said lol. I'm mentally unstable emotionally and physically I can't even do a full attendance to school it's js keep getting worse fuck I hate myself I just want to run away and kill myself so people would finally care for me but I don't even think people is going to give a fuck if I'm gone anyways. I feel left out and I feel like I'm in a one sided relationship I tried so hard to be loyal for him and I tried so hard to ignore every guys who tried to confess to me I always cut them first before they confess to me so he won't get jealous but I don't know man. I think he don't like me anymore. I think he found someone else better and probably more prettier than me. I deserve it. Yeah noone give a fuck I think I'm going to relapse again tonight. I've been faking my smile , my laugh and giggles because I really don't feel anything anymore I can't even do it anymore all I do is just zone out randomly and start thinking and then tears coming out of my eyes I just , I really can't I swear everytime I see a sharp things or something that could kill me I feel like doing it I feel like killing myself I hate not saying anything but If I did noone cares anyways. If I die would anyone even care would anyone know it would anyone notice that I've been distancing myself from them ? Would the care I don't think so. Im better when I'm gone from the earth. I feel so miserable right now and noone knows , noone notice because I hid it so damn well that it's not even showing at all . My brain is slowly disappearing because of the thoughts that's eating it it's killing my brain , my mind. I wanna stab myself in the eyes and shoot my head and stab my heart so bad. I deserve nothing i. My whole body hurts especially my heart , it feels like it js got stabbed by a knife 57 times. Why am I even alive what is the purpose of me being alive ? Everyone could just replace me so easily it's not surprising I'm tired of being quiet but this is all I could say to my own self comforting myself with sadness. My room is very messy u can't even see the floor , I've been losing so much motivation that I don't even think that I could keep it up anymore , I feel like I can't move at all I feel the emptiness. I just can't . Do it anymore. I want to fucking kill myself.