thou art creature of transcience.
warnings ; mentions of blood, religious imagery, metaphorical descriptions of gore, the act of harming one's self in pursuit of divinity. or rather, the hope of it.
I took the words literary nonsense and went with it. meaning can be up to anyone's interpretation.
poeticism can be ugly and beautiful, good and bad, right and wrong, righteous and evil.
as I sit on my chair—scribing hymns and whatnot, jotting down literary nonsense—a thought suddenly occurred.
I must be lonely.
it was a wordless musing from out of the blue—subtle, sudden. it was a thought pushed into the back of my skull, its existence there yet not quite. a ghost of some meaningful sentence that once roamed the tip of my tongue.
though, even as the sudden amalgam of excerpts and writing—the flick of my wrist as starry ink stained parchment—led me to come to a dreary conclusion ; somehow, it imprints itself into my head, like anxiety embers from sparksun and indeed, it is a shard of my person.
ire bursts at my skin, soared across the plane of my existence, licks it up as would a gentle yet prickly caress from the scorch of desert heat. I was subjected to pen and paper, flesh and mortality : chagrin.
and then suddenly, my fantasy ripples and cracks and becomes a broken-off piece from the mirrors of reality. mindlessly, I held my breath and braced myself from nonexistent impact. tears trekking its pathway of sorrow and solitude.
my ribcage is open and in my hand is my beating heart, it bleeds sanguine as red as the seeds of pomegranate. it was a desperate attempt after scars etched themselves onto my skin—a constant reminder of my humanity.
I will never bleed gold, ichor ; I am not divine—rather, the epitome of vice.
undoubtedly so, I am human, was a human, and will be a human ; in this perpetual cycle of blasphemy from playing a higher being and throughout this arduous journey of chasing my false stoicism.
@god-wept do not reproduce, modify, or plagiarize my writing.
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Thinking about Dazai breaking in Chuuya's apartment to annoy him, but it takes the slug too long to come home and his stupid couch is really comfy, so Dazai ends up falling asleep and after a rare full-sleep night he wakes up in a fluffy blanket and to the smell of pancakes.
(Chuuya was very annoyed coming home and finding an uninvited guest, but he remembers how much trouble the stupid mackerel used to have with sleep, so he decided to be merciful for once.)
(He also remembers the way Dazai would always freeze at night so he gets a blanket.)
(And when he happens to make too much batter for the pancakes next morning, the bastard is just lucky that some are left for him.)
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complaining abt the people who think gwen isnt trans
after watching atsv, im SICK of the people who are saying gwen isnt a trans woman. ive seen SO MUCH hate for people pointing out how her storyline about her father accepting her was a (very obvious) allegory for being trans, and saying shit like "she's not trans herself! just an ally. its a metaphor, but doesn't apply to her." it does, it very obviously does. anyone with even a bit of media literacy could realize that. she is so obviously written as a trans woman, seeing so many ppl denying it is so icky. like did you even watch the movie?? the flag in her room, on her dads jacket, and the coloring in general. so much of the dialogue as well, i cant quote it off the top of my head, but i know its there. they made it so obvious, but some people just dont accept that their fav is trans. you guys bitch and complain when characters are explicitly queer, but when it isnt made explicit, its not canon, its a reach, or its just your headcanons. shit pisses me off.
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it bums me out to see (esp younger) artists talking abt quitting in the wake of this dumb ai shit or worrying that there will be no place in the world for their art in the future... i know it's hard but u HAVE to trust other humans to care abt art. u have to trust ppl to give a shit
i've spent the past few weeks near-constantly simmering abt this shit but then i spent literally one weekend seeing the artist/fanzine alley at a convention + going to a screenprinting fair and my soul is healed tbh. u have to zoom out. ppl have always given a shit and they always will
it's one thing to have the courage to make art. it's another to have the courage to trust other ppl to respond when u are vulnerable enough to share it. i know that most of the time the latter is way harder, bc it's not rly in ur control. but u have to!! sorry!! or uve already lost
u have to have a high enough opinion of humanity as a species to recognize that we love creating art + we love experiencing art + we always have + we always will. it's mandatory. scream abt it if u want but after ur done screaming u have 2 go back to the hard work of loving the world
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