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psalmsofpsychosis · 6 months

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people that need the proper context and label for every single fucking thing in their lives and need it defined by Some Invisible Authority TM bore me to death. "this is the X space. X space rules state that X space is for doing Y and Z. Therefore in this space we do the assigned Y and Z functions and NOTHING ELSE, because that was not defined within the parameters of the space and IT'S INAPPROPRIATE." "this is a café; here you order coffee and food and do your job only make eye contact with people you've brought with you or keep to yourself" "this is a club, here you dance and drink alcohol and grind on strangers and suggest sex to people" "this is the supermarket; here you buy grocery and then go home" "this is the feminism circle; here you talk about women according to vague criteria and dont bring up anything else" what if i tell you that you can make a Barista's day brighter by pulling a baby duck out of your pucket and mimicking a duckie voice thanking them and wishing them a lovely day as they're registering your order? what if you debate Hegel's philosophy with someone in a club and you both find out that you've been trying for ages to look acceptable and well-within-the-shallow-lines and you dont have to? what if you go to the supermarket and a grandma asks you to tell them the name of earlier mentioned Duckie and you end up befriending a grandma that introduces you to the best 70s underground obscure psychedelic bands?

The point is, no space is truly defined to contain the full spectrum of spontaneous human expression. You cannot assign protocol behaviors to different "contexts" in a way that doesn't inherently diminish your humanity and kill you inside. the "Normalize blahblahblah—" you dont need normalization, you need your fucking personhood back. The context is you; you happen, other people happen, let yourself happen for fucks sake. "you can't chat a stranger up while you're both standing in line to get movie tickets" listen to me— their bag had a Batman and a Stitch keychain hanging from it, i wanted to tell them that i think Batman and Stitch would be best friends actually, in fact; i did! because here is the thing; i'm alive and i can show love when i feel it and i can do whatever the fuck i want. <3 I'm not gonna wait for some Almighty Invisible Authority TM voice to tell me which parts of my personality are green lighted for which artifically structured context, i'm a whole person, not a fucking puzzle, you dont get to tell me which parts of me do i pick out and leave outside the door as i enter a space. What dies within the inflexible bounds of "expected and appropriate behavior in expected and appropriate spaces" is the intelligent and exhilarating instinct of creativity and spontaneity, and you know what? not on me or my duckie's watch.

#the duckie is a hypothetical entity i dont have a duckie #but he was a necessary plot device for furthering the story's arc #anyway yeah. ''but this context doesn't give me permission—'' FREE YOURSELF FROM THE SHACKLES OF YOUR INVISIBLE OVERLORDS #YOU ARE YOUR OWN FUCKING PERMISSION #the permission-needing crowd would die if they had to live by the life choices i've made lmaooo good thing they dont have to #but honestly? live a little.#These socially sanctioned contexts wont save you from the inherent humiliation and freedom that comes with being utterly utterly human.#obiding by contextual rules wont protect you #from yours or other people's unbearably faulty and unimaginably endearing and hopeful expressions #i once told about a strange dream i had one night to a guy on tinder and he told me that ''my level of interactions are way beyond the scop #of a dating app'' and that ''this place is for hooking up and sexting''#and i told him that HE had decided that. it was HIS choice to keep to the preconceived arbotrary notions of what that specific chat window #was for. and it was also his choice #to remind me of The Rules to keep things superficial;#he chose that instead of risking to engage a sincere moment of intimacy #and y'all wonder why you never have meaningful friendships and relationships #it's because your protocols kill every chance of potential intimacy #on humanity

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codecicle · 8 months

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if you're ever mean to me this is who you're being mean to. Btw

#i make yet anothet post just for me 👍#saving to the drafts until i can release this like a dove from a cave #<- this has sat in my drafts for like a month welcome to freedom little guy ^_^

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safyresky · 10 months

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😤😮‍💨

I am once again venting below the cut, please enjoy this Jacqueline in the meantime:

GOOD LORD!! CIRCULAR CONVERSATIONS ARE GENUINELY SOOO FRUSTRATING. I've had my new car for a WEEK and for a WEEK it's been the SAME SHIT between the hubbers and the MIL:

He mentions the car bc he's excited about it

She goes on an emotionally charged RANT about how concerned she is that we went and bought this car and how she's worried about all the debt we have and that we won't be able to "just vibe"

He assures her we went over everything (which we did) and that it's affordable for us (it being the bi-weekly payment)

It stops there. He laments to me. I reassure. I boost him the FUCK UP LIKE HE DESERVES TO BE! 😤

He brings up the car again with her in the hopes she'll be like I'm also excited about this for you!!

She instead once more lectures us on debt

He once again reassures her

He comes to me lamenting once more

I am stuck watching this circle and smacking my head against the wall

I love this man so much, and he does NOT deserve the shit his mother is giving him and I VERY MUCH DISLIKE that he is STILL SEEKING HER APPROVAL. ESPECIALLY BECAUSE WE DIDN'T BUY THE CAR FOR HIM!! WE BOUGHT IT FOR M E AND HE CO-SIGNED BC THE PAYMENT IS CHEAPER AND HE IS VERY EXCITED THAT WE HAVE A NEW, RELIABLE VEHICLE THAT IS SAFE FOR ME! HE'S HAPPY I'M SAFE!

And he's NOT explaining this bit to his Mom, and keeps being like w/e her opinion doesn't matter

BUT THEN THEY HAVE THIS CONVERSATION AGAIN

AHHHHHH

I hate circular arguments y'all. They make me want to explodE. My entire morning/afternoon has been reassuring the hubbers and trying to point out how the convo is circular bc he's looking for her approval and excitement but she is looking for Something Else BC she's worried about our finances. Guys, imma be real with you. This is an affordable payment for us. It's literally only coming out of MY PAYCHECK since it's MY CAR and they BOTH seem to be forgetting that and it's causing this stupid discussion that won't end until either:

He tells her he's heard her concerns and asks her what she's looking for (since despite his reassurances and walking her thru the process we went thru last weekend and showing her the numbers and how it all works out fine she STILL keeps voicing her concerns, to the point where I haven't even talked with her about it but am dying to yell WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE US TO DO MARGE, GET RID OF THE CAR??? Because really, what WOULD you like us to do and it's presumptuous of you to assume we can't handle it and will need your help)

He tells her he's heard her concerns and asks her to just listen to his and please show some excitement because he's excited about it, so why can't you be

They let it die and never talk about it again the end OR

He understands that this is another one of those Margie being Margie scenarios and he's not gonna get her approval or excitement, and accepts that all he needs in this scenario is his OWN acceptance and excitement, and find a way to be OKAY with that

And I don't know how LIKELY any of these are going to be in the near future (and dw, I texted him that blurb already so hopefully it's on his mind and he makes good choices, good choices being either 1 or 4 bc this isn't gonna get resolved any time soon with my MIL's old fashioned REPRESS UR EMOTIONS ass 😤) so I am instead FUMING about situations OUTSIDE OF MY CONTROL bc as an outsider Incan see how it's going and after 4 years of therapy I can see what needs to be done bc I'VE BEEN THERE TOO

This situation has me so down it's making me wanna call and vent to my Mommy and that's how you KNOW it's yucky tbh

#dani speaks #dani vents #i don't often call my mom to vent these days bc she can be very similar to Richard's mom re: ur childs feelings #BUT MY GOD. I AM AT A LIMIT #anyway if u read the vent ty for reading I appreciate it 🩷#we'll be okay! i know Richard will read those options and see what's going on and choose what works best for the time being #BUT MY GOD WATCHING THE CROSSFIRE?? IS STRESSFUL #I'M LIKE #THIS IS SO STUPID GUYS PLZ #anyway if anyone wonders why I wrote blinter the way I did #THIS IS WHY. I THINK PARENTS SHOULD MAKE UP WITH THEIR ADULT CHILDREN AND UNDERSTAND THE TRAUMAS AND THINGS #AND BE SUPER SUPPORTIVE #I THINK PARENTS NEED TO STOP THE AGE OLD HANDING OVER OF TRAUMA TO THE KIDS #GENERATIONAL TRAUMA IS AO FRUSTRATING AND SO EASILY AVOIDABLE BUT IT DOES ENOUGH DAMAGE THAT IT KEEPS GOING!#FUCK THE CYCLE ALL MY HOMIES HATE THE CYCLE #and if anyone is wondering. i am VERY excited about the new car #being able to drive again without breakdown anxiety and in a car that isn't crumbling to dust around me #is STELLAR! I WANT TO CRY HAPPY TEARS! I HAVE MY FREEDOM BACK! THE MONEY WE'LL SAVE ON SUDDEN REPAIRS #IS GONNA BE SO NICE #I'm 😭😭😭#it's just so reliving and I feel so annoyed that MIL doesn't see it like that and is focusing on 'startung ur marriage out in debt'#sweetie. I've been paying student loans for 5 years. We were ALREADY starting with debt and our payment plan is FINE #WE HAVE JOB SECURITY #OTHERWISE I WOULDN'T HAVE DONE IT #AND IF WE SUDDENLY DON'T #WE SELL ONE OF THE CARS #Boom. done.#ANYWAY. IMMA GO GROCERY SHOPPING NOW #BC I CAN BC MY CAR IS RELIABLE!! AH!#out of context jacquelines

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pochapal · 1 year

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As it's way too early in Umineko to safely tell you which characters you remind us of without influencing your ideas, I'm gonna throw the question back at you - do any of the umi characters remind you of yourself?

the forbidden umineko kin question....hmmm. i'm gonna be honest i'm not super seeing myself in anyone at this point? i have characters i'm endeared to but none of them are making me go "just like me fr" strong enough yet. maria kind of reminds me of what i was like as a kid a little bit if that counts?? like i was also a kind of lonely kid with weird interests who endured some Horrors so like even though i'm not like that Now i have deep fondness and understanding of maria in quite a few ways haha

#yumantimatter #also very vaguely i think maybe if i was in her situation i would act/react similarly to shannon?#in that if i was in desperate terrible circumstances and a loserguy offered me his love and the associated freedom i too would latch onto i #because when i was 16 and at like my lowest i had a crush on a redditbrained loserboy #and the act of merely being in the same social circle as him was literally the only thing keeping me going for a good 18 months #so like. at certain points in my life if a george type had approached me with affection i would also pin all my hopes on him #the other wildcard nightmare choice is that i know Dark Timeline Pochapal #and Dark Timeline Pochapal would absolutely be an ushiromiya george if literally 2-3 fundamental conditions had been different #this is why i act in revulsion to george because every day i must acknowledge i had the potential to Be That Guy #instead i decided to have Gender Issues and also go insane about fiction and that saved me from such a fate #so like. we got maria as a child-self kin. shannon as a maybe halfway kin and george as like. an inverse antimatter kin

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ihopethisendswell · 1 day

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My bias is very much due to me reading the summary of fairy tales on Wikipedia, but I find myself constantly going " the audacity of men" when reading them, good lord.

#i've read the Wikipedia for the og little mermaid and the prince treating the little mermaid more like a pet than a person-#like???? good lord. though honestly it is pretty interesting. i mean it fucking sucks #but compared to the Disney version- which i'm not bashing btw! - it's adds a certain element to iy #also in a way the og story is kinda about family?#the sisters all come together to sacrifice something important to them- their hair - in hopes of saving their little sister #and while that didn't exactly pan out like. that's so sweet of them???#also i love the fact that the little mermaid couldn't kill the prince bc he was happy with his wife #like. i dunno that does show how much kindness she has #bc that guy kinda treated her like shit! and yet him being happy and wanting him to be happy with his wife #stopped her from essentially taking her freedom #it's fucked up but it says so much about her as a person #it's honestly a shame that the one time she is truly being selfish for herself she gets handed such a bad hand #and yes all of this got me thinking about Lyric lol #tpitt #the princess in the tower #not really but. ya know. inspo #r rambles

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morningmarionette · 3 months

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why is the entire tl going crazy abt chapter 112 bsd

#bsd 🗞️#so called free thinkers when chuuya and dazai and nikolai and fyodor #this is so fun for me bc i dont like either of these ships save me im sinking #i dont hate them but i dont see the appeal #like well i do for chuuya and dazai (soukou i think is the name??)#but nikolai and fyodor????#absolutely nothing.#maybe bc im anime only #but nikolais whole thing was killing him in the name of freedom of action ykw??#FREE WILL thats rhe normal ppl term !! (had a dorian moment pls excuse me)#maybe i took it way too face value but in my defense niko had like maybe six appearances 😭#love him though <3 #AND THE REAL GUY TOO !!!#he had religious trauma and that ended up killing him and like oh my god #hes kinda just like me fr???

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jjunhui · 6 months

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the fact that so many peoples first response to seeing all these palestinian children orphaned is not ‘wow we should really do something to ensure these children live in a world where they don’t have to fear waking up to a bomb being dropped on their parents heads’ and instead is ‘oh em gee how can i adopt these children whose culture i have 0 knowledge of whatsoever and bring them to my homeland thousands of miles away, thereby thrusting them into another deeply traumatizing situation’ is actually kind of wild to me.

please be so serious …. they don’t want you adopting their children. you guys do realize that arabs have a deep sense of family and community right… even with 0 family members left there are still so many people who will step in and make sure those children are looked after. those kids don’t need rescuing from their homeland, they need their homeland to be safe so they can have yknow, a chance at life. they don’t need new families, they need for their families to not be murdered in the dead of the night. why don’t we work on that instead and drop the savior mindset please????? to do nothing towards the cause of palestinian freedom but offer to adopt their children is nuts.

ps. it would benefit a lot of people to do basic research and realize that the process of adoption into a lot of western countries serves to completely erase the identity of the child and also is not in line with the principles / general process of adoption in islam (which is the religion of a fair majority of these kids). ‘offering’ to take them from all they know is disrespectful enough without the consideration that in doing so you would completely be overstepping multiple rules and processes of their religion and culture.

none of us want any more kids to die but ‘save the children’ doesn’t mean the solution is to let anna from florida have them. it means the solution is to make sure they have a future where apartment buildings don’t fall over their heads while they sleep.

#palestine #free palestine #free gaza

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arkhmlcst · 11 months

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“ at last — my lonely days are over and life is like a song at last. ”

#— * musings #{{ I know this is a romance song but I listen to it almost like it’s like in a film for dewey #{{ the song playing as she slow falls to her ‘doom’ only to be saved and then it’s a series of cuts #{{ of dewey staring straight forward as the night goes on #{{ falling - being rescued - sitting in the ambulance - getting interrogated #{{ or maybe in the beginning a long take of dewey running at a b line toward dead man’s point #{{ ugh I LOVE FILMOGRAPHY no one talk to me I’m directing a film about dewey in my head #{{ and the person in the song she’s singing about is instead just Romantisizing life #{{ shes finally got ‘him’ her love her freedom #{{ my interpretation of the song for dewey is just what life means for her after escaping that hell #{{ you guys need to start interpreting songs as metaphors for ur characters even if not in the most literal sense #{{ it’s so much fun

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libidinous-weeb · 11 months

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I bet the anon was OP lol they made like 6 posts about it

OP messaged me and it’s all water under the bridge now, we’re cool. please tho…guys…if you want me to delete something please just ask. i’ve done it before multiple times and have no problem with it. and yeah i make lots of jokes and things like that but i am not trying to actually be mean to someone for no reason.

if i say something and it hurts someone then…just tell me. there’s no reason to be an asshole about it. especially because i was very obviously not attacking anyone in the post, i was just stating an opinion.

there is no reason to be out for blood over something like this. especially when it’s just been an hour and i’m on mobile and they fucked up how notifs work so i don’t get them right away.

but ya’ll please don’t send anon hate to OP either. i apologized and OP accepted that apology and (hopefully) they’ll delete any posts about it. i made my own post too like they suggested.

this is how stuff should work. i apologize and explain myself, OP explains their side of things and either accepts or refuses that apology, and we all move on. there’s no reason to pick a side or feel the need to attack or defend anyone, especially when the topic isn’t all that serious and it’s been all of 1 hour since i even said anything.

#if you come out here acting like a child in my inbox i will meet that energy #if you come out attackin guns a blazin #i am gonna ask what the problem is and if you’re STILL being an ass we can sit and play your little game #just remember guys i am a real life actual person #i come here to have fun and speak freely bc i can do that here without consequence #i’m not here to participate in tumblr beef (unless it’s funny like the fucking a juggler thing)#i’m not actually mean or evil i’m just a normal person #i have other stuff to do #i pick up this app #i stare at it and do the modern day equivalent of yelling at a cloud just for the freedom of it #and then i get bored and do something else #now if you excuse me i am going to go play rune factory 4 #and i am going to kick the sech empire’s ass #to save my dragon best friend’s life #while also growing crops and trying to ask out my soon to be horseman boyfriend #LIKE THE ADULT I AM

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rie-092 · 1 month

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FATHER, CAN I DIE?

✶﹒ platonic yandere! manhwa fathers x suicidal/overworked daughter! reader

summary : maybe they should just lock you in your room to make sure that you won't do something dangerous.

a.n : i plan to make this a series, what do you think?

abel heilon

let's start with the most chill platonic yandere! out of the guys that i will feature in this post! abel heilon, the duke of the north with a simple mindset of 'if you mess with me then i'll mess with ya' we all know how protective he is with fiona and siegren. but just imagine, what if— just what if he has an illegitimate child who's related to him by blood that he hid from the public's eyes.

anyways, the first time he met you. he became sure of one thing. damn, you were indeed his child. with that silver hair, blue eyes and personality of yours— you were indeed his child. he can't deny that because you looked like a kid version of him. well, it's not like he is denying it tho— but what the fuck is wrong with your brain anyways?!

he doesn't know if you were abused before he met you. but why in the hell are you so obsessed with suicide anyways?! why the fuck are you even throwing yourself in battles when you were a support mage?! for the fuck sake! stop! yes, you have above average amount of mana! but the hell?! you're not as strong as fiona nor siegren! stop it!

if it's not for siegren then he wouldn't know the fact that you happily greeted the assassin that was sent by the imperial family. according to him, before siegren saved you from the assassin you even have the guts to propose to that damn assassin about committing suicide together since according to you, you have fallen in love with him— hearing that story, abel couldn't help but facepalm. (first name), you're thirteen! and that assassin is already thirty-six or worse, older!

maybe because of the stress of managing the north and keeping you safe from your suicide attempts. abel finally snapped.

look, abel likes watching you enjoying your freedom. but damn, if he doesn't do anything about this— he might end up burying you before you even reach the age of 18. he won't hurt you, he swears. that was the last thing that he will do to you. but that doesn't mean that he can't take preventive measures to make sure that you were safe.

platonic yandere! abel heilon was one of the chillest platonic yandere that existed. he will let you do anything that you want, he won't take away your freedom nor hurt you. he isn't also overbearing to the point that it was suffocating. but don't make him snap, because he can be the most suffocating and controlling parent existed.

now, on your sixteenth birthday— to celebrate it. you decided to jump onto the freezing river near the manor. you expected that you'll wake up inside your room— but no. when you opened your eyes, you were inside an unfamiliar room that has no windows. seeing that you can't use your magic, you were sure that there's a magic restricting device placed around here. what the hell is happening?

the door had opened, you looked at who it was and saw abel looking at you with a smug grin. you tried to ask him what is going on but instead of replying— abel only ruffled your hair saying that it will be only him and you from now on. and that was when you realized one thing— abel had taken your freedom away from you.

but abel didn't care. cry until you have no tears left, he doesn't care. the only thing that he cared about was keeping you alive. and this is the only thing that he know to achieve his goal. but don't worry, he will visit you everyday and give you books to make sure that you won't get bored. so, can you stop being a btch and appreciate his efforts?

he doesn't care if your eyes lost its usual enthusiasm and spark. he doesn't care if you stop eating at some point— because abel can shove the food inside your mouth to make sure that you stay alive.

oh, by the way— fiona was the one who made the room where you were staying now. she just wanted to make sure that you were safe! and the only place where you can be safe is the place where you can't use magic! so, forgive them, will ya?

“should i just cut off your arms? so that you won't be able to use your magic again?”

gallahan lombardy

okay, as far as you know— you are not really a suicidal type of person. but for your father, gallahan lombardy you are. because for gallahan, overworking is another way to try to kill yourself after all.

gallahan is a sweet person, i swear. he won't hurt you at all and isolating you? no, no, no, gallahan won't do that! but he still couldn't help but become paranoid when it came to you. you were way too focused on studying— maybe because of the pressure that you were getting from the other people.

your sleep only lasted for two or four hours, you always isolate yourself inside the library. and gallahan didn't like it at all— look, you need to take it easy and rest. the only time you leave the library was when gallahan and tia drag you outside to eat in a cafe or buy new clothes.

platonic yandere! gallahan loves to spoil you. you wanted to buy books? here you go. want to try home-cooked foods? sure, he'll cook it for you. do you want to go to the festival with tia? alright! as long as he will go with you two.

but then, a certain event made gallahan snap. it was a normal day and gallahan entered the library to drag you outside so that you could socialize with the family. but then, he saw you unconscious on the floor, buried in the books and your nose was bleeding. gallahan was panicking, he didn't know what to do. what if you don't wake up? what if something bad happens to you? or worse— what if you die? if it wasn't for shananet who saw her younger brother's panicked face and her niece's condition. then gallahan won't be able to calm down and call the family doctor.

and what is the doctor's diagnosis? you were overworked. and after hearing that, rulac lombardi, your grandfather along with your auntie and uncles saw how your father's face darkened while looking at you who was peacefully sleeping on the bed.

and then, after that incident. you couldn't help but become confused when gallahan didn't scold you— instead, when you woke up. you saw him smiling softly at you. he didn't even ask you to take it easy. he just lets you do what you want.

but what you found odd was your father started giving you foods and drinks everytime and after consuming those things. you started feeling tired and before you knew it, you always ends up asleep. and once you woken up, you were already on your room. with tia cuddling with you while your father was asleep while sitting on the chair next to your bed also asleep.

knowing how innocent your father was, you never suspect a thing. you just kept on eating and drinking the things that he was giving to you. and you never questioned why you always get tired after it. your father loves you so much, so he wouldn't do anything— right?

plot twist, gallahan actually puts drug on your food and drinks to make sure that you will take a rest and never overwork yourself again. but a year later, you started losing your sense of sight because of it. but gallahan and tia don't care when you have them? oh, just thinking about their sweet (first name) being dependent on them was enough to make them very happy.

“sorry, honey! this is just a precaution, okay?”

#manhwa x reader #yandere #yandere x reader #yandere x y/n #yandere headcanons #yandere manhwa #yandere manhwa x reader #platonic yandere #platonic yandere x reader #gallahan lombardi #abel heilon #tw. yandere #tw: force feeding #tw. isolation #tw.dark content #tw: drugs #tw: obsessive behavior

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notafunkiller · 6 months

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Bucky Barnes is the best super soldier

How it was subtly emphasized in The Falcon and The Winter Soldier:

He always holds back

With the Flag Smashers and even with John Walker. We could see the difference in the last 3 episodes. Sebastian Stan did an incredible job making it clear in a subtle way.

I want to mention that famous "Stay there" scene, and how it was visible Bucky was not punching as hard as he can in the fight with John.)

This is the thing about Bucky, he isn't after the kill, he just does his part. He doesn't try to show off his skills or that he is a good guy. He doesn't try to play the victim role, either. In the scene where Zemo fake-activates the Winter Soldier in Madripoor, he just makes a point. He's obviously not even trying hard.

If he wanted those in the club dead, they would be. But his self control was wow. Sebastian acted so well, his exes said everything.

*And to be honest, even when he was TWS, he could have killed everyone, but he didn't. He could have killed all of the Avengers in Civil War is they were his mission, but they weren't. This is how Natasha survived when she met him, too. It depended on what kind of mission he had (if he wasn't allowed to be seen, then the witnesses would die too, but otherwise? He didn't bother).

2. His skills

People tend to forget how smart and good at making strategies Bucky is. He's been fighting (even though he hates fighting and never wanted to be in the army) for years before he was even captured by Hydra. And this is the reason why government still want him, after all. They can use his strategies as a leader (*cough* Thunderbolts *cough*).

In the last episodes of TFATWS, we could see how he outsmarted everyone. Karli was so terrified of him.

3. Karli Morgenthau

And talking about Karli, the phone call was interesting:

She asked him if he's not tired of fighting for the wrong side, and then told him she's fighting for something bigger than herself.

"And with all the bodies you've collected, have you ever been able to say the same?"

The first thing I wanna point out is how everyone talks about the deaths Bucky caused when he was controlled by Hydra, but everyone ignores the fact that all the Avengers killed far more, but since we consider them the good side, we just don't care.

Clint, Tony, Steve, Wanda etc. They all cause(d) far more deaths than "two dozen" (known assassinations - to quote Natasha), and neither was controlled. The double standards are something else, especially for Clint. (One of the reasons why Tony was on the other side in CW was because of his guilt, after all.)

The second point is how Bucky's answer says a lot more than we might realize at first:

"You don't think I ever fought for something bigger than myself? That's all I ever tried to do, and I failed twice."

Even as TWS, Bucky had to be convinced he is on the right side, that what they do is to save the world, to give "the world the freedom it deserves".

Even brainwashed and put to sleep all the time, he had to be lied to. Bucky as TWS was a victim too. He is not a victim only because he didn't have memories or control, but also because they lied to him and used him as a toy. That milk scene is so loud. (And I am gonna talk about it in a different post). He had no rights, no choices. He was used to being tortured.

[And I wish they explored it more. We deserved and deserve a WS film - maybe with him in Romania getting back his memories, writing in his journal etc.]

"You think your cause justifies all this death, but in the end, the nightmares won't go away. You're gonna remember all the ones you killed. Trust me. Don't do this. Don't go down this path."

Despite being on opposite sides, Bucky still said this to Karli, trying to help her, to make her see the big picture, sharing how he felt and feels.

He is on "the right side". He is a hero, and Bucky being thanked by that man for saving everyone's life was touching.

4. Baron Zemo

You can see how smart, strong, and rational Bucky is when he decides to break Zemo out of jail (his plan was amazing too), risking so much (his relationship with Wakanda people and his own freedom) to get his help for the mess. He puts the cause above his own (huge) trauma. And this makes that moment in Madripoor even more disgusting (he is treated as an object, as a toy):

Zemo: Tell us what you know about the super-soldier serum. And I give you him, along with the code words to control him, of course. He will do anything you want.

The way he keeps his composure, reacts and manages the situation... absolutely incredible!

This conversation also says a lot:

Zemo: The desire to become a superhuman cannot be separated from supremacist ideals. Anyone with that serum is inherently on that path.

Bucky: Maybe you're wrong, Zemo. The serum never corrupted Steve.

Zemo: Touché. But there has never been another Steve Rogers, has there?

Bucky positions himself below Steve, who's considered a good hero, a good person... like no other. But Steve never had to go through what Bucky did: from being kidnapped like that, to being tested on, to falling off the train, to being tortured, and used, and brainwashed for decades, and put to sleep when he was not needed and having n "keepers".

Also, interesting how all Steve wanted was to fight (for a good cause, but still)... and fighting still means violence, meanwhile Bucky never wanted to fight, not even before becoming TWS, in the army (and yet he is still great at fighting. And he is deadly, even when he holds back.). All he wanted was peace.

Despite not getting the "perfect serum", despite being brainwashed, put to sleep, and forced to fight for decades, he is still himself. He never gave in to the dark side for real. He fought in his own way. The first thing he did when he woke up was to choke the Hydra guy with a whole new arm!

Bucky is so underrated: from his intelligence and fighting skills, to how human he is. Being flawed, keeping his sassiness and charm from the 40s, but getting more mature and carrying his past on his shoulders... he's so relatable and real. And every day, he shows Zemo he is wrong.

The show he makes in his final scene with Zemo is absolutely fantastic. He doesn't just prove the point he isn't defined by the serum and Hydra (AND not even by Steve, thanks to Sam. His speech made him realize the important thing about himself: that he decides who he is, not others - even those who know him before becoming TWS- "And this might be a surprise, but it doesn't matter what Steve thought. You gotta stop looking to other people to tell you who you are." parallel to "Steve believed in you. He trusted you. He gave you that shield for a reason. That shield, that is… that is everything he stood for. That is his legacy. He gave you that shield, and you threw it away like it was nothing. [...] So maybe he was wrong about you. And if he was wrong about you, then he was wrong about me."), but also that he is superior.

When Zemo tells him that he decided to let him alive (probably so he can kill Karli) and basically calls him a killing machine: "programmed to kill", Bucky plays the role, lets Zemo talk him into killing Karli, and then Bucky watches him waiting for his own death.

[Also, Bucky's line: Imagine my relief is hilarious.]

The acting was incredible: the shock on Zemo's face and the amusement and somehow relief on Bucky's after he pulls the trigger and lets the bullets fall... He proved him he's THE standard of the super soldier. Because despite everything he went through, he is the best.

Zemo telling him to cross his name off felt like a fresh start (+ telling Nakajima the truth).

5. John Walker

John, on the other hand, is lucky Bucky is an understanding person. He gets what is like... the pressure, the environment, the loss, and even tries to help.

Bucky: Don't go down that road. Believe me, it doesn't end well.

John: I'm not like you!

Of course he is not like Bucky, because Bucky has control. He is not killing to get revenge in a cynical way.

"That serum doesn't exactly have a great track record."

John kept judging Bucky every time they spoke, somehow placing himself above this "broken" man.

"This is all really easy for you, isn't it? All that serum runnin' through your veins. Barnes, your partner needs backup in there. Do you really want his blood on your hands?"

This is so wrong on every single level, especially because Bucky didn't choose to take the serum, and he always had his friends' back. He's loyal and ready to sacrifice himself.

The "funny" part about this is John ending up taking the last super soldier serum vial. All the judgement, the disgust, the patronizing tone, just to do that. Plus, of course, to kill someone with the shield.

(John proves Zemo's point about super soldiers, and Bucky does the opposite.)

And what is it easy for Bucky anyway?

He's under government conditions (so CACW coded), he has a vibranium arm that I bet the government would try to take after he dies (HOPEFULLY WHEN HE'S 200 YEARS OLD IN HIS BED, as Sebastian wants too) if he isn't in Wakanda, he is haunted by nightmares (which also can mean he is still Hydra's TWS in another universe as we found out from Strange), and he has to learn how to live for real. He's smart, charismatic, has values and principles, and he's incredible.

We need to see his version of TWS going after everyone Hydra helped. TWS is him, a part of him, and doing that on his terms, having control over it would help him heal.

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fureliselost · 6 months

Text

Dpxdc twin au in which Danny and Damian are fraternal twins

It's a classic "the Fentons misunderstood Danny's name and registered him as Daniel" but they accidentally transe Danny's gender and Danny never corrects them. Strangely, Danny likes it.

Eventually, the Fentons figure out, but Danny says he doesn't mind and they go with it.

(note: In this Danny is kinda nb/transmasc/gender weird, gender is neutral to him and he's fine with being called whatever, although male pronouns are the ones he uses the most)

Cut to Danny being dragged by Vlad to a gala (Vlad can be good but annoying in this idc) and Vlad is proudly displaying his "godson".

Duke: Hey, Damian, did you see the kid Vlad Masters brought?

Damian: I thought father said he wouldn't go into business with Masters.

Duke: He still attends for appearances. (Shrugs) Anyway, got any twins you didn't tell us about?

Damian: Yes.

Duke: 'Cause that guy looks just like—what?

Damian: I said I have a twin you don't know about.

Damian explains to the batclan that Danny was sent on a mission (as punishment) to keep track of the Fentons, since they studied "Lazarus Water". And then they forgot about it. The last time Damian heard of Danny was right before the accident.

On Danny's side, he knows Damian will be there before he goes — he's kept track of his twin's public persona (and vigilante life). He'd been doing a great job of not interacting and keeping from being spotted, as was protocol for if two agents ended up on the same field — he knew Damian wasn't an agent anymore, but assumed the protocol still applied. He knew, the moment Duke Thomas spoke to him and then went straight toward Damian, that he'd failed that protocol.

Now, Damian was trying to convince him to leave the League.

"Daniyah, there is another way."

"I know there is another way," Danny replied, "Except I told you about it for years and you never listened." During the years away from his family, Danny had missed them, his memory softened the feeling of anger at the way his twin always moulded his ideals to whoever ruled him. "We aren't supposed to be speaking, I'm still an agent, I'm breaking protocol by being here."

They'd sneaked off to a room along with Damian's siblings, who watched attently and and silently. "You don't have to be an agent anymore."

"Yes, I do." Danny spat, "You don't seem to have realized, but some of us don't have the privilege of being the favorite. I never had the privilege of being saved."

Damian scowled, "Being saved is not a privilege."

"It isn't," Danny agreed, "You're just forgetting that when you got freedom in reward, I got sent on a mission as punishment. You're still free and I'm still being punished, so I'm not sure you understand exactly what my position is." He moved to leave, "I'm not a damsel in distress, and I don't need your furry parade to save me."

#dp #eli rants #eli fics #dpxdc #dcxdp #dp x dc #dc x dp #dc

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