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ayelbee · 1 year

Note

hey! can i request a fic where kylian is engaged to his actress + model gf (reader) and one night out with all of their friends, the gf finds out that kylian had dated model imaan hammam (reader's competition / enemy) which makes the gf feel insecure, assumes the worst of their current relationship and end the engagement which leaves a desperate kylian trying to run around to try and fix the relationship

thanks in advance if you take this up! (:

BROKEN | K. MBAPPÉ | ONE SHOT

Summary: request

TW: a few course words, low self-esteem of a reader, mentions of toxic relationship, the reader being emotional mess

Notes: 1. thank you for the request<3 2. This is the longest thing i have ever written in english, so once again i am sorry for my grammar mistakes... i am not really sure about my writing skills when it comes to low self-esteem, so read this on your own risk.

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Being insecure was one of the things you hated the most about yourself. You knew where did that come from and that was also the reason why you hated that so much.

You were a student when you got your first role, it wasn't even a big one and due to that you never knew how much blow-up you will. But you did, there was no way you were staying at school but there was also no way that you would handle this without a manager. You were young and naive so you signed up a contract with the first agent that gave you an offer. You signed up a contract with Thomas.

Thomas was just a few years older than you, he was handsome and very likable. But most importantly he knew how this industry worked. Everyone loved him and after a few months of working with him, you loved him too.

He was your first real love, at least you thought that back then.

After a few months of dating him, he turned into a different person. His manager side of personality kicked in.

He started telling you how you could become a model since you have already done some shots for a few magazines. But he told you that you could do runways, be in Vogue and become a face of these luxury brands.

Just if you could lose some weight

die your hair

change your style

stop wearing glasses

and this list could continue...

And because the little girl in you believed him, you did all of the things he wanted. And after another few months, you were a whole new person. You were in more and more magazines, but you lost yourself on the way there. You didn't even like the person in a mirror that you became.

After all you didn't know who you were and he didn't really care. Because all he cared for was the money he made from you and he wasn't even trying to make things look like he cared about you. But love is blind and you really loved him.

You loved him until you saw him with another girl, with a real model, in YOUR apartment, in YOUR OWN bed.

You found out that he was seeing her since the second month that you two have been dating. Every time you had work away, where he couldn't go because of his "other clients" he was with her. He was taking her on these expensive trips, that he paid with YOUR money and she knew it.

So that was the story that fucked your trust and your mental health but mostly it broke your heart.

Then you met Kylian. A sweet, loving, caring french guy that showed you how real love really looked. He repaired your heart. Heart, that he didn't break. He showed you how to love yourself, and he helped you to find yourself again. Because he truly loved you.

He gave you a fairytale that you have dreamed of since you were a child. And now, two and half years later since you met him you were engaged. Some people would tell you that you were too young for an engagement and that you didn't even know each other that well. But those speeches were lies. Because you and Kylian knew that you two belong with each other. You won't find another two people on Earth that are meant to be together as much as you two are.

------------

"Kylian" you called for your fiancee as you were looking inside your closet.

"What Cheri." his head appeared in the doorway with a smile on his face.

"I don't know what to wear." you complained. You were going out with Achraf and Hiba tonight. "Help me." you looked at him with a desperate face. Kylian just laughed coming closer to you as he wrapped his hand around your waist.

"Let me take a look." now he slightly pushed you away as he started searching in your closet. "Pants or dress?"

"I don't know." you hummed into his back.

"Okay, I've got an idea." he stepped back as he placed a black mini skirt on your hands. He turned around and went straight to his closet where he started to search for something, after a few seconds he was back with his shirt. "And you do your magic now." he smirked.

------------

"Here are our love birds," Hiba said as you two reached the table in your favorite restaurant. You greeted the other pair with a hug and a few words.

"I hope that you didn't wait for us too long. But Kylian called the uber too late." both of them laughed, while Kylian gave you disapproving look.

"Well I would call it sooner if you didn't need my help." he was playing offended now.

"I needed you like for three seconds so shus." you placed a kiss on his cheek. That always worked since he was such a sucker for you.

------------

Two glasses of wine later you were watching Hiba's phone as she was showing you some pictures of their kids. You took your eyes off the phone screen for a moment to look at Kylian. He seemed to sense your gaze and looked into your eyes. You smiled because all you could think about at that moment was how one day you'd have kids together. Then you looked back at Hiba, who saw the nonverbal exchange between the two of you.

She wanted to say something but a strange voice interrupted her.

"Kylian!" a high voice came from behind Kylian, you looked in her direction. Recognizing Imaan Hammam. Your jaw almost dropped, but you didn't let anything show, staying calm from the outside.

"Imaan." he turned to stand up as he hugged her. You furrowed your brows together. His hand found yours when he sat back. Making you even more confused. "This is Y/n, my fiancee." he introduce you as you politely smiled. Which wasn't really the thing you wanted to do. After that you looked at the other couple, both of their faces were covered up in weird expressions. Something you didn't understand.

"Y/n. I'm a huge fan of yours!" she exclaimed happily. "Ever since you two became official i wanted to ask Kylian if he could introduce us, but in the end, i thought that you won't want to meet his ex." she laughed. Now your jaw dropped. Did you understand her right? Kylian squeezed your hand, while on the other hand, you loosened your grip. Hiba uncomfortably shuddered while Achraf tensed. All of a sudden you wanted to disappear. Imman was looking like she was waiting on your response, but you didn't say anything. "Will you be at the world cup Y/n?"

"Yeah, I am coming with Kylian." you awkwardly responed.

"Of course you are." she laughed again. She was probably just trying to be nice to you. But that was the last thing you were feeling. "Then maybe we could meet up there." she placed her hand on Kylian's shoulder, making you tense. You saw how Hiba squeezed Achraf's wrist, probably trying to tell him to say something.

"You are coming?" Achraf spoke to her.

"Yeah! I'm gonna be there cheering for the Marocan team to win." was she actually doing something more than just laughing? Where was her energy coming from? "Anyway guys, I'm seeing my friend over there, so I will leave you all. Enjoy your night!" she explained. You didn't even have time to breathe in and she was already gone.

"So I think that we will pay?" Hiba spoke, but you stayed silent.

------------

"Y/n." Kylian placed his hand on your tight in the car, trying to start the conversation after the unpleasant turn of the evening. You didn't respond, you just turned up the radio. You knew that you will need to talk about this later, but you didn't feel like talking about it now.

There were reasons why you were silent. Why you felt so sad, disappointed, and broken at the moment.

You were honest with Kylian from the start. He knew everything and till today you felt like you have known everything too. He knew about your relationships and you knew all about his relationships. But he had never mentioned Imman.

Never.

Why? You didn't know.

You were sure that she was an amazing and nice person, but you hated her. Because she was perfect. She was everything you weren't and why did it bother you so much? Because people were comparing the two of you all the time, always making you worse.

Everything started in 2019. That year was hell for your personal life, but also the peak of your career life. You made three movies, a few runway walks, and your first cover for Vogue that year.

First cover of Vogue was supposed to be something that will end up in your memory as a happy thing, but it didn't. Instead, it ended up as a trauma.

You were on the July cover in the UK, that same month was Imman on the cover of Italian Vogue and that was the problem. That was the moment when people started comparing you to her. Till today you remember that one tabloid, that started everything.

The whole tabloid was about how awful a person you are, who clearly doesn't belong to a fashion magazine, let alone on the runway. While on the other side why is Imman the best person in the world.

This article spread everywhere. Twitter was full of it, and your Instagram was full of it too. It was everywhere and you hated that.

The worst part was that this wave continued.

Beautiful Imman Hamman and Y/n who looks like she came straight from rehab just arrived at the British fashion awards just few minutes apart!!

Imman Hamman rocks the runway as Y/n sits in the publicum like a little fan

Why would you be fan of Y/n when you can be fan of Supermodel and activist Imaan Hammam

There were thousands of tabloids like this. But you ignored all of them since you started to date Kylian. But today when you found out about her history with Kylian, you blamed yourself for ignoring them.

------------

You went straight to bed after you arrived home. Your head was still full of Imman. All you wanted to do now was to go to sleep, but this wasn't in Kylian's plan.

"Mon Cheri talk to me please" Kylian sat on the bed next to you. His hand tried to find yours, but you didn't let him touch you. "just don't be silent. I am sorry that i didn't tell you about her, but it wasn't anything serious and she actually didn't mean anything to me." he was looking into your eyes, guilt visible on his face.

Kylian regrets not telling you about her. But he was serious when he told you that she didn't mean anything to him. Ever since he met you you were the only one who mattered. He would also say that he forgot about Imman. Because in his eyes, she was no one, but you were everything.

"Why did you lie to me?" you wanted to cry. You felt like all of the confidence you built in this relationship was gone that moment when Imman spoke.

"I didn't lie Y/n", I would never lie to you." now he took your hands. Starting to draw circles on your palms as he was trying to calm you down. Kylian knows everything about you. He knows how you react, he knows how you feel. He knows every single detail about you. And in this moment he saw how upset and disappointed you were in him.

"But you never mentioned her. While i told you about every man in my life.." you weren't a noisy person. Even when you were angry you never shouted. You hated aggression, and you hated fights so you've always tried to avoid these things. So even now when you wanted to scream into Kylian's face, you did nothing.

"Do you know why I didn't say anything to you, Y/N,¨? Because I'm not blind, because I've seen how they compared the two of you everywhere, making you out to be the worst thing in the world while you're the best thing in the world. Because when I met you you didn't believe in yourself, because you believed those articles and I knew if I mentioned it you'd run away from me, you wouldn't believe that I only wanted you, that I really loved you. I knew that you'd think I was lying to you while I was cheating on you with her somewhere. But it was never like that. Because right from the start, all I saw was you and no one else. And by the time you had built up your confidence and trust for me, I had forgotten about her. That's why I have never mentioned her."

"Let's go sleep." you answerd in a low tone. Kylian smiled a little. He lay down next to you, his arms wrapped around your body. You relaxed your head on the pillow as you closed your eyes.

------------

You weren't asleep. Your head couldn't stop thinking. Imman kept coming up in your mind over and over again. Her perfect body, perfect skin. The way she cared about others. How she does everything she can to make the world a better place. She fights for the weak, she fights for the sick, and she would fight for Kylian.

You could have tried your best, but you would never have been as perfect as her. You could give yourself away, but you still wouldn't give as much to the world as she did.

After you heard Kylian's calm breathing, confirming that he had fallen asleep, you slowly crept out of his embrace and moved to the bathroom with your phone. You opened your Instagram as you sat on the bathroom floor.

You just started doing something you've been forbidding yourself for the last two years. But suddenly you just had to, you know that your brain won't stop until you do it.

You started scrolling thru the comments on your latest post. There were thousands of positive comments, but your brain was able to read just the negative ones. Your heart was breaking with every hate comment. You had a lot of, not more than the positive ones, but your head didn't care

Suddenly, you found yourself stuck in a cycle where time didn't exist and you kept scrolling despite how tired you were. It wasn't just your pictures any more, it was your pictures with Kylian. Now it was also the comments under Kylian's personal posts. You don't know how it happened but suddenly you weren't on instagram anymore but you were reading one critical article after another about yourself

Your cheeks were wet with tears, your hands were shaking and it was hard to breathe now. You stopped. Frustration was vibrating thru your body. You didn't know what to the. The words started to get blurry and seconds later you were throwing your phone across the room. Phone with a bang landed right next to the sink.

And that's when it hit you. Kylian could wake up at any moment. Find out what a wreck you are, and he'd leave before the sun came up. You couldn't let it this way.

You quickly stood up making your way to the sink, where you rinsed your face with cold water. You saw a concealer on the counter so you grabbed it trying to smooth out your puffy eyes. After that, you made your way back to the bedroom where you went back to pretending that you were sleeping. Kylian's hands once again found your waist as he pulled you closer.

At that moment you made your decision, you will became better and if not, you will leave Kylian for his own good, because he deserves way better than you.

------------

Kylian woke up a few hours later, he though that you were still sleeping so he left without a word for training. But he didn't know you were up all night.

The moment you heard the front door slam, you rolled out of bed. Making your straight way to the storage room, where you grabbed one of the luggage, after that, you started to fill it up with clothes and the most important things you knew you needed.

You weren't packing everything, because there was still lite hope in you that you will change for Kylian and that you will come back.

24 hours ago you wouldn't do this, but now you were brainwashed after all the hours on the bathroom floor with your phone in your hands. You weren't thinking irationally, but now you didn't care. Before you left with one luggage and a giant bag you sat in the kitchen taking paper with a pen as you started writing a quick note for Kylian.

Kylian I don't deserve you, I've spent the last two years pretending I deserve you, but I don't. You deserve someone you don't have to be ashamed of, someone who's on the same level as you, and that's not me. I'm not leaving yet, I am just taking some time for myself so I can become better for you. I'm gonna try my hardest to be the one you deserve me to be. And If I am gonna fail, I am gonna completely leave your life. I'm leaving because I love you, so please don't be angry at me.

You looked at your left hand, seeing there the engagement ring that Kylian gave you. You were always running from problems as soon as they shoved up. But this time you wanted to come back and you needed motivation for it. So you took the ring off your finger and placed it next to the paper.

"I am gonna come back for you babe." you take last look around the room and you left.

Every single memory on you and Kylian flooded thru your head as you were leaving the building. All of the happy memories you shared in this flat. All of the things you were currently leaving behind, but you doing it for him, for your future together.

------------

Kylian came home exhausted, the only thing he currently wanted was you in his hug. He wanted that even more after the not-nice ending of yesterday's dinner. You were the one who could calm Kylian down after everything, that's why he knew how important you were to him.

He called your name, but you didn't answer. Normally you would run to him. to be the one who will start the hug. But you didn't come. Kylian furrowed his eyebrows. He was confused.

He went to the living room, but you weren't there, you weren't even in the bedroom. So where were you? Did you forget to mention to him that you had plans today? He was taking out his phone from his pocket as he reached the kitchen, where he saw something that confused him even more.

He fastly reached the table. Your ring was sitting on a small piece of paper. He grabbed it and started reading fast. With every new word he was getting more and more confused, his frustration growing only more.

Kylian was angry. He wanted to scream. What happened in your head? Why were you acting like a stupid person. Kylian started running around the apartment with fear in his eyes., only now noticing how much of your stuff was gone. This must have been a stupid joke. You have must gone crazy. He was trying to call you, but his phone was saying that your number didn't exist.

After another crazy minute, Kylian realized that you were being serious. He panicked. He didn't even notice that he started crying when he started reading your note and now his sobs were getting louder and louder.

He called Achraf, needing him now. After Achraf heard Kylian voice he knew that something was wrong. Kylian was panicking, making Achraf go as fast as possible to his place.

There he found him crying in the middle of room, which was covered in the shards from the vase Kylian angrily threw at the wall.

Kylian knew from the start how self-conscious you were. That's why he never bring Imman up. He knew how broken you were from your previous relationship, but he never thought about you getting back to this old mindset where you were nothing. Because that was the biggest lie, you have ever believed in.

You were every men's dream. You were the best thing Kylian ever had. He's never known anyone as caring, as supportive as you. You always wanted the best for other people, making you forget about yourself. You loved Kylian so much, you loved his family and they have loved you. You were the most beautiful person on the planet. You could make him smile every time. You were the one.

But now you were gone because that one man broke you. He made you believe that you weren't enough, that you were less than the others. Which was the biggest lie in the world.

Kylian hated that man, even though he never met him. If he could kill, he would kill him for breaking you. You didn't deserve this. Anyone who deserved your love should have been looking out for you. Everyone should be bringing you gold from heaven, but this asshole still dared to destroy you.

You didn't deserve anything from this and Kylian needed to make things right again, but how could he when he didn't know where you were.

------------

"Calm down, we will make this right." Achraf sighed after Kylian finished explaining what happened. Kylian just put his head into his hands. He didn't know if he was angry or sad. But he was definitely traumatized. "I'm gonna call Hiba, to find out were Y/n is. Okay?" he placed his hand on Kylian shoulder. Kylian sobbed.

He thought that he calmed you down yesterday. That the two of were okay. He hated himself for not kissing you in the morning before he left for training. He was thinking about everything he could have done for you to not leave him. But he didn't so now it was just his fault. It took Achraf a few minutes to quickly explain the situation to his wife

------------

Hiba didn't waste a second calling you as soon as her call with Achraf ended. She knew that you were smart enough to find out why she was trying to find your address. So she chose a different way to approach you.

"Hiba?" you asked hesitantly. It occurred to you that Kylian might call you from the other side, but on the other hand, it would be Achraf rather than her, so you decided to take the call.

"Y/n." Hiba tried to sound like everything was normal. "Achraf called me that they are stuck at the training for a few more hours so I thought that we could go for an early dinner together. We didn't have enough time to catch up yesterday." Hiba tried to be careful, to not scare you.

You were silent for a few seconds. Your brain was trying to find the right answer.

"Well I would love to go, but i am not really in the mood for going out." you almost didn't lie.

"Oh that's fine, we can just order a takeaway to our place." Hiba didn't want to take no for an answer.

"I don't think that Achraf would want me at your place when he's gonna come back tired from the training." problem was that you weren't planning on agreeing.

"He's gonna get home late, he's going out with his brother after the training." Hiba was telling big lies. In the end, you had no choice but to agree, unless you wanted Hiba to see that something was wrong.

She told you that she will be expecting you in two hours time. After the phone ended up you buried your head in the pillow and wished for your death.

Hiba immediately called Achraf to tell him you'd be at their house in two hours. She instructed Kylian to come with Achraf, promising that everything will be right.

------------

Kylian was nervously pacing around the living room. His palms were sweating as he was waiting on your arrival. On the way here he bought you the biggest bouquet of peonies he has ever seen, the ring was in his pocket as he needed to put it back on your finger tonight. Achraf was in the kid's room hiding, while Hiba was waiting in the kitchen.

She was supposed to open the doors for you and bring you to the living room, where Kylian would start talking.

When Kylian heard the knock on the front door. His body tensed up, praying for your forgiveness. He also heard your voice as you greeted Hiba. He wanted to rush into the hallway to hug you, maybe even to scream at you for your behavior. But he stayed in place, too scared to do something.

His body got into motion when you reached the living room with Hiba behind your back. You froze in your place as you noticed him.

You had shock written all over your face, you wanted to run away from him, but you couldn't. Your legs were glued to the floor. You just couldn't move.

Kylian, on the other hand, immediately walked towards you. He wanted to wrap his hands around your body. He wanted to kiss you. But he couldn't because he was too scared that you would run away from him.

"Please tell me that I don't make you feel like someone less worthy." you could hear the pain in Kylian's words. You also noticed how puffy Kylian's eyes were, which hurt you. Was it because of you?

"No" you answered "but you deserve more than I am. I am a disaster, i am a mess of human being" Kylian didn't let you finish.

"That's not the true cheri. Because I am the one who does not deserve you." only now did you notice the bouquet he held in his hands, Kylian placed it on the ground, stepped closer and took his hands in yours. "I wish i could show you how amazing you are. You are a beautiful person from the inside out Y/n. You are special, you are unique. No one can make me laugh the way you do. No one can make me feel loved like you do, no one Y/n. You inspire me to be the best that i can be. You are always there when i need you, and you are always able to calm me down, which no one else can. The way you light up the room with your smile. The way you make small moments special, everything about you is perfect and i would not want to change a thing. You deserve the world and I wanna give to you all." a tear slipped down Kylian's cheek. "You are my world Y/n, you are my home. I belong with you, not with anyone else. I need you now and i will need you in 50 years when we are gonna be old. You are the only thing that really matters to me. And i can't lose you. You are perfect so please do not change for me, because you are already everything to me.." you were crying at this point.

You realized how wrong you were, how you shouldn't listen to your stupid head. How you should told Kylian about what was your head thinking about. How did you feel last night. Because if you did that, you would not hurt your man.

"Mon cheri please go home with. Let me put the ring back on your finger and let me tell you how much in love with you I am." Kylian came closer to you, your bodies were touching. You looked up into his eyes as you put your hands behind his head.

"I am so sorry babe for leaving you. I should have told you about how i felt, i should have talk to you before i did this. But i really love you and i never wanna leavae you again." Kylian felt your lips on his. It wasn't passionate kiss, but it was kiss of two crying people, promising each other that they will be better. Better at expresing their feelings, their worries, their thoughts.

She won't run away when problems appear and he won't take her for granted. They will make this work once again.

#kylian mbappe #kylian mbappe x reader #kylian x reader #kylian imagines #kyky #psg #mbappe imagine #football imagine #one shots with footballers #one shots #light angst

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murderandcoffee · 4 months

Note

I'm sorry I sent the ask too early-

Can i get some of your tma character design hcs

👉👈

well of course you can! sorry it's taken me a bit to get to this ask, I'm uh. bad at keeping up with messages lmao

okay so quick disclaimer: I didn't have solid visual ideas of all the tma characters--details would change or shift or whatever, so I'll only list some major ones/the ones I really imagined well

jon:

I see jon as a japanese-british guy who's like 5'6"/5'7" (168-170cm) with a bit of a dad bod. stern-looking, with short black hair that's graying around the temples, and some well-kept facial hair. I imagine him growing his hair out over the course of the show. he's also got glasses. I've drawn my interpretation of jon a couple of times--check out my bs.art tag if you wanna see it!

martin:

uh oh this is the one that could get me in trouble with the fandom. now listen: I had NO contact with fandom interpretations of the characters when I listened, so there was no influence from fanon designs. the martin in my head is a very tall, very lanky, awkward trans guy with blue eyes, shaggy blond hair, and a crooked smile. he's got freckles and glasses, and moves kind of like he's still a teenager getting used to how long his limbs are after a growth spurt.

sasha:

okay so the way I imagined sasha is actually pretty close to a lot of fan interpretations! I see her as a tall-ish, well-put-together, academic-looking black woman with glasses and a natural hair. I picture her wearing a lot of skirts and sweater vests. she's definitely the most professional-looking of the archival staff in my mind.

tim:

I'm not gonna lie I really pictured tim for longest time as tim wright from marble hornets. I kinda still do. tall white guy with dark hair, sideburns, and expressive eyebrows. goofy and expressive. not much else I can say for him lmao.

michael distortion:

this is another one where the picture in my mind is waaaaay different from popular fanon. the distortion, to me, was not psychedelic-eyestrain-tie-dye-colorful. it was more of a black and white, reality but a little to the left, slenderman-/cryptid-esque vibe. definitely inspired by the visual auras I get from migraines. the distortion looks completely normal until you see its reflection/see it through a warped pane of glass, then it's all sorts of fucked up! but fucked up in a take too much nyquil and see the hat man sort of way, instead of a take too much acid and see god sort of way.

gerry:

I believe in natural redhead gerry

basira:

okay okay another one that people are gonna disagree with. the basira in my head does not wear a hijab. she's got her hair slicked back into a tight, military-style bun. brown hair, brown eyes, brown skin, some moles and freckles, some scars, no-nonsense, take-no-shit attitude.

daisy:

the daisy I picture is a small firecracker of a woman. she's dangerous the way brass knuckles are dangerous--sure they fit in the palm of your hand, but they will deliver blows that you won't ever recover from, if you're lucky enough to survive. she's covered in scars, muscular, very pale (I see her mostly as a redhead), and with some tattoos, too. sometimes I picture her as blonde, but I like ginger daisy.

melanie:

I've drawn my version of melanie! I see her as desi/south asian, with wavy brown hair and brown-green eyes. I hc that she dyes her hair red, but once she's infected with the slaughter it starts staying that way (un)naturally. she's short in my mind, probably a few inches shorter than jon.

I don't have much for elias, georgie, or helen, really. their designs kind of shift around in my head. I feel like I'm forgetting characters, but oh well!

I've drawn a few not listed here (annabelle, agnes)

if there are any characters in particular that you're curious to see how I envision them, lemme know!

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starlightshadowsworld · 1 year

Text

Freaky Fusion rewrite.

Well.. The prologue to be precise.

For context and stuff, I'm setting Freaky Fusion AFTER Ghouls Rule.

With the final scenes of Ghouls Rule being changed.

We go from the party to a lone figure walking away.

It's Holt.

He smiles and waves to the crowd but his smile doesn't reach his eyes.

And his hand is shaking.

I know it's completely out of character but given the circumstances I find it much more believable.

And that's Holt missing the big Normie Monster party.

He's not ready to be around the people who tried to kill him not even like a few hours ago.

Holt is walking away but not out of the school. He's making his way down to the Catacombs.

With the party taking place in the gym.

Every step he takes makes the sounds of the party grow more and more distant.

If it wasn't for the music in his headphones it'd be silent.

The music though isn't something that would be considered Holt's usual style.

Because it isn't.

He takes out his I-coffin and it's Jackson's playlist that's playing.

It's Somewhere only we know by Keane.

Holt slumps in a corner, back against the wall and tears are in his eyes.

"Here goes nothing..." He whispers.

As he begins typing on his notes app.

Thanking Frankie for showing him it.

"Hey"

To his relief he doesn't have to wait long.

His fingers are moving, but he's not moving them.

"Hi"

Something in him settles, a tension he couldn't put a name on.

"Are you okay?"

Holt snorts but it comes out as a sniffle, tears rolling down his cheeks.

"I.. Thought I was..."

He can't get the words out.

But he doesn't have to before a warm feeling surrounds him.

Like he's being bundled in the worlds softest blanket.

The song is louder.

Calling him.

Like a hand through a maze.

And Holt closes his eyes, he follows it.

And finds his room.

Their room.

Split in half down the middle as it had been for the longest of times.

And yet Holt didn't need to ask if he could cross because Jackson met him halfway.

Arms wrapped around the other as tears rolled from both their cheeks.

The weight of everything was crumbling around them.

They wouldn't have just lost themselves if they hadn't survived.

"I'm sorry"

"Your sorry? I'm sorry!"

"Well I'm sorry more!"

They looked at each other and smiled.

The first genuine smile either had made in a long time.

For the first time, they saw each other.

Truly.

And neither wanted that to go away.

It would take time, take work.

But..

"I want to know you"

"I want to know you too."

They stayed like that for a while.

Just having the other nearby in a way neither had appreciated till now.

Until Holt was shaken back to the Catacombs.

By a terrified looking Heath.

Who knew when he embraced Holt he wasn't the only one he was hugging.

It made him smile.

Ruffling his cousins hair and telling him they needed to go.

Holt hesitated, afraid to leave. Heath softened, taking his hand in his like they would as kids.

And looking down at his phone, the message reading "im here."

Holt knew he'd be okay.

That they would be okay.

#freaky fusion #ghouls rule #holt hyde #heath burns #jackson jekyll #Why is it written like this? Because im tired #monster high #Freaky Fusion rewrite

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scoonsalicious · 27 days

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Here we are ladies, gents, and the non-binaries. The long-awaited Chapter 27 which you've blessed us in FULL today. 8 parts??? what have I done to deserve this? And I've got so many thoughts I Literally had to stare at my screen to collect myself because where do I even start????? Well, first off, I can start with the fact that that was amazing and you're incredible, and thank you for this. I've got so many things to say but I'm literally short-circuiting so AAAH. okay. I'm doing it by roughly by parts so I don't miss a thing. And since you've given us 8 parts, expect this to be the longest essay yet (I'm not even kidding please I apologize this got away from me)

First off, the slow build-up was killing meeee. But then again, I do love seeing them having normal conversations (I mean, a dick in the garbage disposal isn't exactly normal but I digress because that part made me laugh) and seeing Bucky be so protective of her because he has a point. Jesse is out for blood and leaving Pocket alone would be a terrible idea (I mean, well, we obviously see this later). I love their banter too! The teasing and the joking and Bucky's smug lil "nothing I haven't seen before" like okay, pipe down. I love Pocket's stubbornness, arguing with Bucky that she can handle herself (which she can obvs) but I couldn't help but giggle when she *pouts* "I have a gun" *pouts* when Bucky told her that even Nat couldn't handle Jane in hand to hand ESPECIALLY when the unhinged snake is set out for the kill and a super soldier at that.

Now, the footage of Jacky in the Hydra base. That was….a lot. It honestly was so disturbing and scary. It's absolutely insane the way Hydra manufactured her obsession with Bucky. But it's also genius in the sickest way. Because THAT is how you make sure you get a mission done. A teenage crush turned obsession? I mean, have you seen one direction fans back in the day? They were unhinged and could hack anything and that's without training (I was a fan too and I saw it all happen online LMAO). Now we have someone who is a teenage girl with an obsession, who's fucked in the head with all that Hydra manipulation, has super soldier powers, a highly trained assassin and has been made to believe that she can get everything she wants? Who’s stopping that? She makes serial killers look sane. She's been set out to him before anyone even knew she existed. Honestly, that whole thing just had me sitting staring at the wall for a few seconds before I could continue because it's insaneeee. It's so scary, just thinking about someone like her existing in the real world. But that part where she was about to jerk off to Bucky's picture has me laughing and feeling distraught at the same time. But that hint of Bucky being uncomfortable about it followed by Pocket's comment about already sleeping with her, at first I thought he just felt guilty about it but after reading all the parts? A foreshadowing that he's never been comfortable in the first place? I see what you're doing. But god, massacring a whole Hydra base and just the image of her Carrie-style but with a proud grin. Chills. Get her away from me please I'm scared.

(on a side note, Pocket thirsting over Jesus Barnes in Wakanda please BIG MOOD. That really reallyyyyy short clip of him in Infinity War throwing that sack with one hand has me falling in line like, yes sarge, me next please. ANYWAY back to the story)

I'm glad they cleared up that whispering in the conference room when the whole below the paygrade comment. Because people keeping forgetting that were just in Pocket's POV and with that comes some unreliable narrating sometimes because we obviously won't get the full scope of what happened because we're only seeing her thoughts and her perception on the situation. Which is why I always think it's important to think on a broader scale outside what's shown on the text. But god, THAT much money? I'm still heartbroken for Chloe though because she didn't deserve that. But sigh, we just discussed not letting Pocket leave the safe house for her safety and then suddenly we're leaving her alone? Barnes? Really? Have you read any fanfics in your life? Anyway.

That whole commentary about the whole trafficking situation was so spot on. I have nothing else to add to that because you pretty much said it all. It's both sad and so enraging. BUT AH NO. YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO LEAVE POCKET SERIOUSLY. But she genuinely did think Dimitri was the least evil of them all so sigh. I already knew where this was going and I already had a hunch who this "Hydra" boss is waiting at the club. But lol the gasp I let out when I read her name. *insert that 'why am I gasping, I already knew that meme' here* Even just that hint of Jordan being so quick and strong since she's a super soldier, it really sets the tone how Pocket really can't get out of this through physical strength. And now the face off begins.

But damn. I honestly didn't think she'd get even crazier yet here we are. I even felt my skin crawl just knowing the amount of time Jerms spied on Bucky, Pocket, and them both together. She's literally been watching their every move even in the confines of their bedroom. And that gives her so much upper hand because all the fights, insecurities, weaknesses, all their trauma and past, what makes them tick as a couple, what breaks them down, she knows it ALL and she's obviously going to use that to her advantage. Well, she did and she did it well. Imagine playing a cheese game with someone who already knows all your moves. How can you win against that? Every time she says she "loves" him I have the urge to throw up. Like girl you don't. You’re obsessed with him. There's a huge difference. And God that she show here obsession and delusion and that really is the best play Pocket could make. Shattering that deranged fairytale she has in her head of Bucky ever wanting her.

That part, where Juno admitting to feeding Bucky all the things she'd been feeding him, especially the degradation parts. When you're so desperate to try and save a relationship, you really do become willing to try anything and take any advice even if it's not the best ones. And like I said many parts ago, she's smart so the way she manipulated Bucky (who's already so insecure and broken and such an easy mind to manipulate) was so calculated that it was always going to be a success.

Which brings me to the infamous video which was without consent, might I add. The way Jayla made it seem in her text when she recounted it Bucky was so far from what actually happened. She really was selling it as if they'd fuck like no tomorrow and Bucky turned into this feral sex god or something. But that's her delusions playing it up, making it seem like it was the best sex ever when in reality, that couldn't have been farther from the truth. That wasn't fucking, hell I don't even know what you call that. I mean, I could be pushing it here so please do correct me if I'm wrong, but that was SA in a way. An unenthusiastic yes is still a no and you could clearly see that Bucky wasn't into it, tried to stop it even. And with men, there's a different dynamic when it comes to SA because of patriarchal standards and toxic masculinity and this misconception that they always want sex etc. And it truly was pathetic on Josef's part claiming that they fucked because, dude, what was that? But it also left a bad taste in my mouth for Bucky. Because what I saw in my head was just him laying there while she took what she wanted, I guess. And yeah, he didn't push her off and there was a part of him that was so hurt and angry thinking that Pocket betrayed him that he wanted to get revenge but even then, he didn't seem that excited on the fact. I mean, the snake had to bring up the articles and Steve over and over and over again because that's the only way she could keep Bucky angry and hurt enough to not protest and just, let things happen. And she was feeding him lies and hitting exactly where it would sting with that purple push up bra because how could she have known that right? In Bucky's head, that was confirmation that she was telling the truth because he didn't know that Jenny had access to footages. She played her game well and she stabbed him exactly on where the stitches are so that was a lost cause on Bucky's part.

And God, I have all my reports saved in one doc and I really did hit it already did I. About me saying how Bucky probably let Russia happen as a way to punish himself too. And that Jayla truly did play into Bucky's insecurities with those articles because what fight does he have against America's Golden Boy? When he already believes Pocket deserves someone better and that someone took form into the person he's insecure about the most? How can you not spiral? I know I'm repeating myself but we truly can't just ignore what Bucky went through with Hydra in all of this. He's got such a fragile mind and self esteem that it's already easy to break him down if you truly think about it. Now, imagine having someone who knows EVERYTHING that made you crumble and has all the ammo and information to be able to say just the right words for you to trust them? And, well, speaking from experience, you really can't know you're being manipulated until you're out of it. I didn't realize how bad my experience was until I retold it to a friend. So I don't Bucky had an ounce of awareness as to what Joanna was doing to his mental state. It was the sickest most calculated thing what she did that I think even the most secure person could feel that security crumble even for a little. Now you have someone who's already fragile and insecure in the first place? He honestly stood no chance.

Obviously, it doesn't take away the fact that Pocket was still hurt and she has every single right to be. But I think she was more hurt that Bucky wasn't secure in their relationship and her love for him rather than the act itself. Because the way it happened really was kind funny and God I cringed at the way Jocelyn took so so long to even get him going and not even get him going at all because Bucky had to think of Pocket to get hard. And he truly only got himself going by imagining it was Pocket. I mean, he had his eyes closed!!! Beyond me how Juan was able to keep going since Bucky was practically screaming someone else's name so fucking obvious and loud and I have no doubt she heard it since she's a super soldier but she's a different level of delusional so I'm not even surprised. Taking what she could get probably.

I can't WAIT to see feral protective Bucky on the next part. And as much as I want to see all the action, I kinda want him to see him be so calm with his confrontation with Jude. Because you know what would truly break that snake? Bucky telling her over and over and over how he could never love someone like her in all the languages and all the phrases he could. Is it evil of me to want him to break her down on a mental level rather than physical? Because to me, that would be a much more worth it revenge with all the emotional and mental abuse she's done on Pocket and Bucky. Because yeah, Pocket saying those things already hit a nerve. Now imagine it coming from Bucky's mouth? The man she claims she "loves"? Either way, I have no doubt you're going to feed us well so I'm going to be happy not matter what happens. I CAN'T WAIT.

— Jnon 🤍

\y Beautiful Jnon,he 'dick-in-the-garbage disposal' line will live rent-free in Bucky's head for the rest of his life, lol. I like to imagine that it's a visual that got Pocket through a lot of tough times. I loved writing their banter (tbh, I love writing banter in general, lol). I just adore seeing them in a little bit of domestic fluff. And .Bucky has definitely seen it all before, lol. Literally nothing Pocket's got going on hasn't been exposed to his... intense scrutiny, lol. When it came to leaving Pocket alone, the safehouse was probably the safest place for Bucky to do it. I mean, Carthage knew about the Wiggle Room, but she didn't know where the safehouse was.

I'm pleased (which is weird to say) that the Hydra footage was disturbing-- it was 100% meant to be. Like, back in the '90s (the glorious '90s, which I miss with every fiber of my being), I was a HUGE Hanson fan. Like, so rabid I look back on it with embarrassment, lol. And I was thinking-- there's no one with greater obsessive focus than a teenage girl with a celebrity crush, you know? And it just kind of made sense to me that Hydra would harness that to ensure the greatest success to assure they get their asset back. And Jade's not a teenager, but she grew up in isolation, without peers her own age, so I see her as emotionally stunted. In a weird way, she has that in common with Pocket. They were both prevented from growing up in the natural order of things so they could serve the agenda of men. They're like two different sides of the same coin. And Bucky was so uncomfortable at the idea of seeing Jade get off to photos of him, because she did, essentially sexually assault him-- he was never comfortable having sex with her, and the idea that she was using his photo for sexual gratification long before he ever knew she existed makes him feel even more violated.

Let us discus Jesus Barnes. Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have had impure thoughts of a man, repeatedly, lol. But for real, if you're not familiar, please check out Rock Me, Sexy Jesus from Hamlet 2, which is literally THE ONLY thing I can think about when I see this:

Like, turn my water in whine, please. (I'm not even sure how that works as some kind of filthy entendre, but I'mma leave it 'cause I like how it sounds, lol)

I almost didn't include the bit about Bucky telling Pocket what he actually said to Jade during the mission briefing, but I realized I didn't want her thinking he divulged her secrets. He did some shit, but he didn't do that.

Bucky has not read any fanfics in his life, unfortunately, but this just gave me a hilarious idea for a oneshot where Pocket tries to get him riled up by reading a smutty Bucky Barnes fanfic to him, so thank you for that, lol.

Sad part is, Pocket trusted Dimitri. And I think he trusted her, too, which was why he was so betrayed when he found out she wasn't who she said she was. I did need Bucky to leave Pocket alone, but in his defense, the safehouse was the safest place he could have left her. I mean, Jade knew about the Wiggle Room, knew that she would be working there, but she didn't know where the safehouse location was. So, it seemed liked the safest place at the time, and it would have been if Dimitri hadn't shown up for her. Everyone wanted Pocket to kick Jade's ass, and I wanted it, too, but Jade's always been too strong and fast. All Pocket could use to beat her is her wits.

Having her spy on Bucky and Pocket was actually a late addition to the narrative, and I'm so glad I included it, because it really cements how messed up she is. And it gave her so much ammo to use against them. They really did not stand a chance with her having all that access. (Also, I know you meant "chess game," but you wrote "cheese game" and I am in so in love with that, I'm going to pretend you did it on purpose, lol). I also wanted to show that Jade wasn't just crazy, but she was smart, too, and resourceful, which is what makes her so much more dangerous.

And you're not wrong-- the Russia incident bordered on sexual assault. I don't think he would ever see it like that, being a man from the '40s, but it was. An unenthusiastic yes is just as bad as a no. She pushed and manipulated him so badly, he really had no chance. And once she brought up that purple push up bra? It was over. Without knowing she'd been spying, how could he not believe her?

I'm dying to hear your thoughts about Chapter 28! I can't wait! Love you!

#unwanted #jnon report

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yennasun · 1 year

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Do you think your MT can teach Purple how to fight?

Using this as an excuse to treat my writers' block.

Summary: the gang decided to have sparring day and bring purple along, who usually spars with weapons. When it doesn't end well, they enlist the help of mango.

Little warning here, folks. This one's a long one, probably the longest one I've written so far.

"Sparring day!" Green yelled

Yellow proceeded to punch green in the shoulder.

"Hey, you trying to get started already?" He said indignantly

Yellow cocked a brow

"No, but if you wanna go up against everyone else for waking them up at 7 in the morning, then be my guest. I'll be sure to see myself out of the room beforehand."

"Lucky for you, I'm usually up by this time." MT said as he walked in the kitchen.

"Oh lucky, huh?" Green teased

MT smiled

"Hey, I may be old but I still know how to hang with the young blood." He said with a snicker

MT waded into the kitchen, even though he was accustomed to waking up early that didn't mean he particularly enjoyed it.

It was mainly because of the nightmares that he had everyone convinced weren't a problem anymore. or maybe he was trying to convince himself, too. lie to yourself long enough, and you'll find yourself believing it.

He got a cold cup of water and tried to shake the cobwebs that slowed his brain.

Taking a deep breath, he finally felt the world return to full speed.

Turning towards the hallway leading back to the living room, he found red and blue accompanying the others.

It figured red would be up earlier, too. She usually had to feed the animals around this time.

Blue usually didn't get up until later due to his injuries, so him being up at this hour was a surprise.

"-I totally get it, you love sparring day...however, are you aware that it's SEVEN IN THE FREAKIN MORNING?!" It had been obvious now that blue hadn't been happy about being woken up.

"Keep that up and you're the one who's gonna wake up everyone, not me." Green replied with a smirk.

If looks could kill, green would he dead. Blue definitely couldn't wait to get a piece of green when the action started.

It'd taken awhile to wake everyone else up, disturbing second's slumber was like waking an angry bull.

MT volunteered to get purple. He knew how much they loved to spend time with the cg, and they especially liked sparring day because it was the rare instance that MT would join them.

He approached the door across from his at the end of the hall, and as he turned his hand over to knock, he heard something.

A child's laughter.

His vision flickered for a brief moment, and he heard a voice so faint that it could he mistaken for a window draft.

"Papa!"

The voice echoed in his ear like a poltergeist, his vision flickered again. The familiar voice was shaking him.

"It's not real...it's not...real." he took deep breaths and silently breathed the words out.

And just as silently as the voice had come, it'd now gone.

He took one last deep breath and knocked on purples door.

"Huuuuh?" He heard a groggy voice answer back.

He opened the door slightly and saw purple squinting at the door from under their covers.

"'Morning, bud. It's sparring day today. Do you wanna come with?" He asked softly.

"Mmhmm, just gimme a sec." They drew out, shuffling under the covers.

He quietly shut the door and went back to the rest of the gang.

"They're getting ready." He said simply

Green fist pumped the air

"Fuck yeah!" He yelled

"Better hope alan doesn't hear you." Second said, holding a cup of coffee.

Once purple had finished getting ready, the bunch went to their usual spot by the river.

First, it was blue against green.

Blue went in with a vengeance, being an inside fighter. Green was good at all styles but great at none. He had to use all of his skills to keep blue where he wanted him.

At the end of it, the two embraced.

"No hard feelings." They said

Next up was yellow against MT.

MT had to shut down yellows speed by using his size and reach advantage. He worked his jab and straight but also made sure to get off of center line.

Once he had yellows combinations shut down, he was able to dart in and out to land his own combinations.

"Good work." He said at the end.

He watched everyone else go, then he saw purple.

They went in with yellow, usually purple sparred with weapons but yellow convinced them to work on hand-to-hand.

"Hey, don't you think they should go in against someone else?" MT asked

"Don't worry, I'll go easy!" Yellow assured

Purple refused to try and land anything, they just kept their hands up in a static position.

They couldn't let their hands go.

They had some moments, but it was mostly yellow picking at them with her quick strikes.

Thankfully, she kept her word and went easy, almost playfully so.

At the end of it, purple sat back down for the rest of the session.

They all began walking home, recounting what had happened and what they needed to work on. Purple remained silent, more so than usual.

Purple kept their head down slightly while the others talked amongst themselves, MT noticed this.

"It's okay kid, you didn't do bad." He said putting an arm around them.

"-Yeah, don't beat yourself up over it purp. It was your first time using hands instead of weapons!" Yellow remarked

Purple shifted uncomfortably.

"Y-yeah heh. I guess I thought I'd do better..." They said.

"You didn't do bad, it's sparring. There's no such thing as doing bad in sparring if you're learning something!" Yellow cheered.

"Yeah...heh, if you think about it, getting your ass kicked is kinda comes with the territory." Blue snickered.

The others continued talking amongst themselves. Meanwhile, MT began to see traces of doubt in purple's eyes. He knew exactly what it looked and felt like.

Purple dug into MT's arm a bit more. The gesture made MT smile a bit, but he was still getting used to this whole thing.

Man, I remember my first sparring sessions...

One could almost see the thought bubbles coming from MTs head as he remembered the ass kicking he received.

Heh, those were the days...

He thought with an audible snicker.

They'd approached the house, and MT took a deep breath.

Eh, it's their first time... probably just need to get some more experience. They did pretty good for it being their first time.

Purple had finally broken away from MT to go join green, he let an amused huff.

"Those two are great for each other." He said under his breath as he walked back to his room.

He took his normal clothes off and began to gear up for his new daily duties, as well as getting some exercise in. He'd be damned if he let his physique fade. He didn't give a rat's ass that he was in his 30s.

He first inspected the equipment to check for any rusting or decay in the parts, then wiped them all down with disinfectant. Blue taught him about something called MRSA, and he'd been paranoid ever since.

Once that was all over, he ran his eyes across the gym and let a smile.

Looks good to me. Time to go to work!

Months ago, the cg began the construction of a separate building occupying the space out back. After some brainstorming, they had decided on a gym.

Second had asked MT for advice on what to put inside it.

"So you're thinking, like, some treadmills or weights. Some resistance equipment, machines, and you'll probably want me to pave a jogging track, right?" He said, second shifted a bit.

"Eehm...that's not...not exactly what we're looking for..." second said, struggling to get his point across.

MT cocked an irritated brow.

"Well then, what ARE you looking for?"

"Ahh... maybe some punching bags, o-or some mats. Yknow, just to practice." MTs heart sank at the realization, it wasn't the idea of building a fighting gym that was cause for his concern, it was what would inevitably with it.

They'd want him to train them himself...

He wasn't confident enough in his own experiences with coaches, save for Rooney.

Even then, Rooney never made the final call on what his regiment would be and how intense it would be, which was usually very. With a bit creator's..."silliness" mixed in every now and then...

All he knew about coaching was what creator unintentionally taught him.

He knew the cg were a rough and tough bunch... That being said, he had no doubt creator would've found a way to break them...

Thankfully, his tension was eased.

"It won't be as much of a place to coach and more of a place to just practice, if some of the others wanna come join then they can." Yellow later told him, as she went over how the building should he layer out, what equipment would go where.

Now the building had all the odds and ends with the help of MT.

Heavy bags, speed bags, double-end bags, foam mats to wrestle on, a ring to practice striking, reflex bags, weights, jump ropes and everything in between.

Soon enough, MT grew attached to the place. He took it upon himself to be the caretaker of the gym, making sure everything is clean and functional.

He also acted as an impromptu referee for when the cg wanted to get really competitive in sparring. They'd go to the ring, instead of the arena by the river.

He also grew warm to the idea of training with them, too.

He very much loved sparring with them as well. He knew better than anyone that the best lessons are learned on the spot when it comes to fighting.

Not just that, but he also noticed the color gangs increase in combat effectiveness ever since he began warming up to them.

His mind wandered as his workrate ran on, he remembered a preacher on the streets of the dark web sermoning any who'd listen.

"-You there, would you bless me with a bit of your time to hear of the allmaker?" The bright colored older stick said, pointing right at MT.

He silently agreed, the preacher went on with words that seemed to tangle themselves in MTs head as he spaced out.

But then, he heard words that brought him a strange comfort.

"-every burden and hardship through life, be the allmaker's trials unto you! And to the strong, go the allmakers hardest and most painful trials."

He took a moment to absorb those words, the numbing peace he felt for just a second had both confused and terrified him.

He began listening more closely, until it was over.

"-and to you bypassers, scalding my words in your minds with hateful remarks, I present a question; is it bad to have too much faith...or none at all?" The preacher finished.

MT never found himself a deeply religious man, but now that he's gotten around more, there'd been many opportunities to speak to many who were. The preacher in the dark web was his first.

He found himself going back to where the preacher practiced, a community center that happened to have a chapel.

There, people prayed and followed along in sermons and confessed to their wrongdoings in hopes to atone through trial.

After what he'd been through so far, he needed to hear something that could give him some direction - ANYTHING would do!

Every day he was miserable, constantly fighting his own powers and, consequently, his own mind.

He searched for pain relief wherever he could find it, including at the bottom of a bottle.

He'd hurt people, killed even. Was there really redemption for such a tainted soul.

Or was it tainted from the start...

"Father, I-I would like to speak t'you." MTs uneducated use of his words were apparent.

"Come, child, somewhere private. I cannot allow your sins to fall on the ears of the feeble and the judgemental."

MT was taken to a silent part of the chapel, a booth sat near the corner with 2 doors and no windows.

The preacher gestured towards the booth.

MT went in and sat down.

"Speak freely, child. Do not fear the allmaker's judgment, for it is not your time to be judged, but to be forgiven." MT could not see the preacher, but heard his voice.

Wait, I didn't say anything about a confession! How did-

"How you know?" He asked

"I am blessed, child. Same as you." MT almost laughed at that. Instead opting to take a slightly harsher breath.

"Some blessing...if y'knew what this does t'me you'd say it was...uhh...uh b-bad.." he fumbled his words again, it was bad enough normally but now he's starting to feel tense.

"I understand you, poor education is unfortunately common in this area. Even moreso amongst the chained." The preachers voice lowered at the Last word?

"Chained...what's that."

"People who weren't given a fair chance from the start...one could say they were cursed at creation...now, child, speak to me your sins."

MT leaned forward in his chair slightly, bracing his elbows on the small table in front of him and putting his head in his hands for a bit.

"Only when you're ready." The preacher said quietly.

MT took longer than even he thought to make a decision.

But he did come to a decision.

Aaahhhh! Fuck it, if it's just some loon then what harm could it be?

He took a deep breath.

"Father...I did alot of bad things...I hurt people, I killed people...because I was told to...even now I'm working 3 jobs and still have to rob people to get by..."

"Child, we have all done bad things. Malfeasance spares none, and neither do scars. We are all born to the world innocent, but it's up to you to leave this world pure of heart, mind and soul." The preacher stopped for a bit, the silence in the air making way for the faux-echo of the preachers words.

Slightly above the tables height, a small window opened.

"Give me your hand, child." MT was hesitant at first, he was already anxious about this mysterious person.

"Be not afraid, I cannot harm another soul." MT felt that numbing sense of peace again, it was so inviting yet so sudden. Warm and cold at the same time.

It set off every alarm in MTs mind.

And against his judgement, he went through with it.

He put his hand through and felt the preachers palms clasp the top and bottom of his.

"Be still, please." He preachers said in almost a whisper.

A few moments of peaceful silence later, and the preacher released MT and took a deep breath.

"The blessing you bear, you see as a curse. Rightfully so...but you do not realize the potential you have...for this blessing in particular, is very difficult and troublesome to handle..."

"Then why, father, why me of everyone else!" His emotions were getting ahold of him more than the other way around, his voice broke with each syllable.

"...because someone has to... remember what I said before; every burden and hardship through life, be the allmaker's trials unto you... And to the strong, go the allmakers' hardest and most painful trials."

In that instant, his flaring emotions faded.

"Centuries ago, the allfather had bestowed great power to any who it deemed worthy at birth. there were 3 who possessed the blessing you do."

"Merqui, the final fate of the world. Her every word came true. She was hailed as a prophet but soon sewed her mouth after a mere whisper caused the death of her lover." The preacher slid 3 pictures through the small window.

One, which he was sure was merqui, was a faded pink stick figure. True to his words, her mouth had been stitched shut and black tears spilled down her features. The title of the picture read "The weeping oracle."

Next was a fierce looking stick, a darker red almost bloody-like.

"This one was named rodin. The fiercest and most capable warrior, legends say a great battle between rodin and valynx led to the creation of the mountains...which brings us to the last..."

MTs eyes wandered over to the picture and...

He stilled, and his blood ran cold. He felt the color drain from his face as his stomach felt as though it'd lost itself on the floor.

That smile...

He'd seen it everywhere, out of his peripheral vision, in mirrors, behind windows...always just out of reach, and always gone before he can get a good look at it.

"Valynx...the harbinger of destruction and chaos. The most powerful of the 3, and the most dangerous...his fanatic lust for death and conquest knew no bounds..." the preacher stopped, noticing MTs silence and even hearing a whimper come from the young stick.

"The 3 battled one another for ages, but eventually they both fell to valynx. The allmaker, seeing valynx's betrayal, struck him down and cast him into darkness where his rage would engulf him. He would bind his powers and cast them out, cursing another to take his place."

"That means it...it was a done deal from the start..." MT thought for a second that he'd break down.

The preacher put a gentle hand over his.

"Nothing is set in stone, the only constants are birth and death. What you do in between is what truly matters. Perhaps you did inherent the blessing, perhaps it is inherently more difficult to stay on the right path...but you don't have to be the harbinger of destruction."

"But...how..? I just...I-I don't get it."

"One day you will...but first you must master yourself, before you can master your blessing."

"I...I guess you're right but...but I just don't believe in nothing!" He said

"Some days...neither do i. But then something incredible happens, and everything makes sense again."

MT chuckled, for the first time he actually showed emotion in front of another.

"Ahh...you're too smart for me, heh...I guess I'm just...I'm not ready..." his voice broke slightly.

"No...you aren't...but you will be. Free will is the greatest gift the allmaker gave us, anyone is capable of great acts of bravery, or cowardice. Acts heroism, or acts of evil. Valnyx was an evil man, but that does not mean you have to be. Adversely, instead of being the harbinger of chaos and destruction, you can be the harbinger of justice and salvation!"

MT had felt a flare in himself, his vision went red and the world began go contort impossibly.

It's not true...it's not true it's not true it's not true it's not true!

He panicked, squirming in his seat. He was descending rapidly, and there was nothing he could do about it.

He hadn't even noticed the preacher reciting scriptures.

He lies! Kill him! Kill him Kill him Kill him Kill him Kill him!

The grotesque voice he'd almost grown accustomed to nagged at him, and he felt his muscles flare for action.

"-thy evil corruption I will now see back from whence you came...evil shade, I say it clear...!

"Begone!"

A flash of blinding light filled the booth, MT shut his eyes and put his hands over his face but it didn't help.

Once he could finally see again, the world re-jointed itself so quickly MT felt nauseous. He looked around, blinking slowly to gather his bearings.

From the other side, he heard the preachers exhausted breaths.

"Are you okay?!" He asked

"I will be fine...it cannot influence you while you're here..."

The preacher sat, and his breathing became quieter and quieter.

"You're not ready...first, you must master yourself before mastering it..."

"And what is "it"?"

"That is not my place to tell you that...only you can uncover the truth before ascension."

Huh?!

"Ascension...what's that?" The preacher stayed silent a moment.

"I've told you too much, you believe yourself cursed and irreparable. Only good for one purpose. You must dispel these beliefs before you can truly take control of yourself."

Take control...take...control

MT bounced the words around as the two stepped out of the booth.

"Allow me to make it easier, the allmaker gave me my blessing, and with it I will use it to help and heal others. When you wake tomorrow, I want you to ask yourself; what will I use mine for?"

MT was plunged back onto reality by a horrific calf cramp.

"Awwwwh fuuuuuck!" He screamed aloud as he rolled over, gripping at the affected limb.

"Mmmmhhh this is what I get for spacing out during a workout! and not eating right...and not taking...care of my...self..." he was still a long ways away.

But he's happy with the improvement he's made so far. He's back to a healthy weight, his skin was now bright and vibrant instead of flushed and dull, even green said he saw MTs eyes stick out more.

His spats of paranoia and psychosis had become more and more uncommon, and that voice got more and more desperate.

Whatever *it* was, it knew MT was winning...and it was mad.

A horrible and sickening laugh filled his ears, it's raspy, crackly voice sounded like a fork gliding across a plate.

Hello again, hello again~

It said in that mocking tone.

Now it hovered right infront of him, doing everything it can to bring MT under its influence once again.

"Try something else. you'll never beat me in a battle of wills." MT told the shade, waving his hand dismissively.

The shade's grin intensified, and MT felt his skin crawl.

You, you think you know everything....but the allfather lies! You can not escape destiny! You believe yourself above me, but you're just as mad as i!

It vanished once again.

He hadn't realized how much his breath hitched in his throat.

He looked around nervously, letting his breath return.

"Hehe...shit! I need to get something to drink..." he chuckled in uncertainty.

He walked over to the water machine that he'd paid for himself after red fainted from heatstroke and poured a cup out to process what just transpired.

He drank, letting the cool liquid down as relief washed over him with the same fervor.

Finishing, he took a deep breath as a thought came through his mind that brought his energy reserves to full gear.

I can beat it...I CAN beat it...it's really possible!

He may not have gotten under its...skin...? But he still got it to leave him alone.

Just as that thought passed through, he heard the door open.

Instinctively shifting his gaze over to the door, he found the source of the sound.

"Hey...can I ask you something..?" Purple shifted their feet nervously.

"Ask away." He said with relative enthusiasm, but the pit in his stomach betrayed his tone.

I've got a bad feeling all of a sudden...

"Would you....would you teach me how to fight?" Purple pleaded.

MTs stomach sank, this was the question he'd been dreading.

"No." The word slipped past his filter and came out a lot more harsh than intended. Purple flinched a bit.

"Please pops, please! The kthers can't help me, yellow keeps trying to teach me how to fight her way, blue heavily overestimates my durability, green tries to drop me in the fire immediately a-and don't even get me started on second!" Purple drew closer, desperation apperant in their eyes. It pricked at MTs heart.

"Well I don't- I don't know what to tell you, purple....i-im not..." MT stopped in his tracks, the realization smashed into him like an overhand.

"Wait...what'd you just call me?" He turned to purple, who looked just as confused as he did.

"Pops...you don't know what that means?" Purple said with a perplexed look.

"No no no, i do know what it means its just..." Mango didn't wanna say it, purple had enough issues and he'd be damned if he dumped his own on them, he knew how they were.

"Well, you're uhh... Basically like a parent figure to me...I just assumed I'd call you pops since everyone else refers to you as a guy... you want me to call you momma?"

"No... actually, pops has a nice ring to it. Just caught me off guard is all but... don't you already have one?" Mango asked. He hadn't known if purple was born or created, but he'd heard them talk about some kind of parental figures.

"Ahh let's talk about something else." Mango took note, don't bring that up anymore.

He went silent at the question, he contemplated his next answer.

His mind circled, trying its best to come up with some kind of excuse and in doing so, his defense were lowered.

Brief images flashed through his head of his time with creator, the ruthlessness, the high demand, the blunt punishments and sharp words. The blood on the floor and creators sick grin, but instead of him and creator, it was him and purple...with him in his creators place.

He was grounded by a hand on his shoulder, he turned and purple pulled their trump-card.

Mangos eyes widened in horror and realization.

Ahh noo! Not the puppy eyes!

Purple looked at him with those beady eyes and he felt his irrational resolve wither away little by little.

"I...I'll think about it." The moment he finished he was gripped into a tight embrace by the smaller stick.

Nooooo dammit....

It was already in motion, whether he liked it or not his mind was already made up. That didn't mean his paranoia would make it easy.

Far from it, it was evident when the nightmares started.

Every night for the next 2 weeks had been plagued by dreams of him tormenting the poor stick.

Stop, father...please!

Purple begged on their knees, only for MT to involuntarily send his shin into purples face.

They fell to the ground, beaten and hopeless. They sobbed quietly.

Why are you doing this to me...

Mango almost lept into the ceiling for how violently he awoke. His solid form quivered as though he were liquidating.

His breaths came in short, ragged bursts and he swore his heart would turn to diamond from how tight his chest was.

He swung his arm behind him haphazardly, knocking his lamp over but succeeded in retrieving his cigarettes.

Throwing on his coat, he opened the door as quietly as his state of mind would allow.

"Least no one's up..." he mumbled

He walked outside on the porch and lit his cigarette with the tip of his finger.

The first drag was too long and nearly sent him into a coughing fit, but at least it grounded him even if only a bit.

Each drag made everything become more and more still until eventually his breath came back deep and controlled.

"Creator, allmaker, whatever the hells out there, help me..." he leaned against the rail and let his head droop down.

Just then, his vision went red. Laughter once again bounced in his head, mocking his perpetual suffering.

But the shade made one big blunder in letting mango know that it was behind the visions.

To master it, you must first master yourself

"I can change..." he said in a breathless whisper.

"I can change...I CAN change..." he kept repeating it in an almost cultist-like chant.

The next day, he knocked on purples door.

"Come in!" They said.

He opened the door, eyes serious and determined.

"Come with me." He said

Purples lower lip quivered a bit, but they reluctantly obeyed. Their mannerisms gave off that they felt they had no choice.

The two walked outside, and purple finally spoke up.

"Am I...in trouble..?" They asked in an uncharacteristically soft voice.

Shit...

They stepped into the gym, and MT turned to face them.

"No...but I need you to see my intensity and match it. One thing you're gonna need if you're gonna train with me, is intensity." Purple gluped nervously.

He started with the basics, the first few days were for conditioning only.

Afraid of overdoing it, he had purple run 10 laps around the gym.

They looked at him, almost insulted.

"Is that all?" They tipped their head in confusion

After 10 easy laps, purple wasn't even winded.

Well...better safe than sorry

The next thing was basic movement, stepping in a stance while remaining in position.

"You can't learn how to punch without learning how to move first. If you can't move then you sure as hell won't be able to punch."

MT had noticed purple was naturally light on their feet. He guessed this most likely came from their experience using weapons. They never needed to plant down for power when they always used sharp weapons.

He then finally drilled punches, starting with the simple 1-2.

"This is your bread and butter for fighting at range, think of the jab like your shield and your right hand like your spear. Bash with the shield to distract from the killing thrust."

Purple didn't have much power, in fact they were quite feather-fisted. Weren't very fast either, or accurate...

Man, we've got a long way to go.

But drilling defense was where all the trouble was.

He started by simply having them slip the jab. He didn't throw it hard or fast. He telegraphed enough to where they could see the movements and hard wire the reaction into their brain.

And therein lied the problem, they were incredibly hyper-reactive.

Whenever mango would drill defense, purples reactions would he panicked and unsure, almost cowardly.

No matter how much they tried, they couldn't get purple to let go of their fear of being hit.

"You need to learn to let it go, loosen up and everything else will come naturally." He'd tried to instruct.

After a particularly bad training session, one that frustrated mango very much, purple had a confession to make.

"I haven't been transparent with you." They said firmly.

"That's okay, everyone's got secrets." He'd understand as well as anyone could

"But... I think it's affecting my performance." Now mango was listening.

"I did have parents...mom was nice and dad...well not so much." Purple said downcast.

"...go on whenever you're ready." Mango lowered his voice, he knew how important this was to purple and how much courage it took.

"Everyday of my life at that point was lived in fear of him, he wanted me to fight too but...his methods were archaic to say the least...do you understand what that's like."

Yes he did, oh yes he understood all too well. Despite his demeanor he still lives most days in fear...

Purples story got him thinking...

Get outta your head, damnit! This isn't about you! He mentally scolded himself

"I do...I also know that if you don't let go of that fear, it'll follow you around for the rest of your life."

"How do I do that though, I don't have the courage to-"

"But you do have courage, telling me what you just told me... we'll just say I haven't been transparent with you either... you've got more courage than I do, that's for sure." Purple went silent, It wasn't the usual defening silence. This one was almost comforting.

"He left after awhile, then it was me and mom against the world...and then it became just me against the world...I think about her every day."

"She passed?" He knew the answer even before purple nodded.

"...it's good that you still think of her...just because someone dies doesn't mean their memories have to die with them."

I think of someone every day too...

Then, a flash of what Rooney had told him before came to him like the final piece of a puzzle.

"In order for a fighter to control himself in a fight with confidence and without fear, you must peel back the layers of the person to expose who they really are. See a spark and you feed it until it becomes a small flame, keep feeding it and it eventually becomes a roaring blaze. Keep going...then you really got a fire goin'"

MT tried a few different methods, but the one that worked the best was positive affirmations.

"Good, good! That's the stuff right there, I wanna see more of that!"

"Alright, I like your synergy, kid. I like it!"

"Fuckin' brilliant! Keep doing that!"

They were getting more confident and less stingy with their punches, but defense was still something they had to work one.

There'd been improvements but no major breakthroughs yet.

Until one of blues experiments exploded while the two were in the room.

"Fuck! Everyone alright?" Blue yelled

"Uhh yeah...but you forgot one thing." They turned to purple, who had their head tiled slightly, beside their head lie shards of glass in the wall.

"You should probably invest in some safety glasses." MT couldn't stop thinking south what happened that day.

Was it a fluke? Would the glass have missed anyways? He needed to know.

He found one of yellows pencils, saw purple spacing out, and took the shot.

"Heads up!" He yelled at the very last second.

Purple reacted quickly, looking in his direction before pulling back just enough to let the pencil fly harmlessly past them.

"-so why can't you do that with punches?" MT would later ask.

"It's, it's different. The pencil isn't trying to hurt me, the person who threw it was." Bingo!

"I want you to do something for me from now on...apply the same logic to fists, the fist isn't trying to hurt you, the person throwing it is." Purple looked confused for a second, before their eyes widened in realization.

"Oh my goodness...you're a damn genius!"

The improvement wasn't instant, but it was astronomical nonetheless.

A few more months of training, and MT developed purple into a slick-as-butter defensive counter puncher. They still had much to learn, but as of now, they were ready.

The next sparring day, purple went against yellow again.

And this time, yellow could land hardly anything on purple. Mango had turned purple into an accurate, defensive wizard.

Their fluid movement and counterpunching proved poison to yellows reckless, rapid-fire style.

Eventually yellow got frustrated and rushed in without a setup...

Only to rush right into purples counter right hand, wobbling her.

She stumbled back and put her hands up, but purple relented. Calling the sparring session off.

"Can I ask you something?" Everyone else had left, leaving the two of them sitting alone by the river.

"...sure."

"When you started training me, you always looked so nervous and unsure...why?"

That's the million dollar question isn't it...too bad I've been broke my whole life.

He kept it vague, not wanting purple to feel their own suffering insignificant compared to his.

"The way I was trained was very archaic too...just like you I had no escape, no reprieve...and I don't know anything else about training someone aside from what my master taught me...I could never put your through that, I was so afraid to that i-"

"I personally think you did a great job, yellow was just talking to me about how much of a magician you are when it comes to training...I know you might think you're too old to get over the past, but one thing green taught me was that it's never too late to change."

Those words made him think on everything, made him rethink his entire life.

He remembered how purple obeyed his every order to the letter, remembered how despite everything, they never hated him. He remembered their confession of their past to him, despite his own refusal to do the same.

"Purple?"

"Hmm?"

"For what it's worth...I'm proud of you. For everything." Purples mouth went agape, still looking at the wild river.

"Y...you really mean that?" They asked hopefully

"I do." He said

Mango turned his gaze to the river, watching its wild yet pristine waters rush downwards.

He turned back to purple and saw a tear going down their face.

He put a hand on their shoulder, not wanting to over extend.

Purple responded by rushing in and holding mango tight, as though if they'd let go, they'd lose him the same as their mother.

"Ita alright kid, I'm not going nowhere. I'm here for you..." he comforted the now sobbing stick.

"And I'm here for you too...I couldn't imagine what you went through to where you're too afraid to tell even me. But I don't think you should take it with you to the grave." They said between trying to stifle sobs.

"If you're not ready to tell me now, that's okay. It doesn't have to be tomorrow, next week or even next year. But when you're ready, you can always come to me."

Now it was mangos turn to get emotional.

On the rare times he got emotional like this, his voice didn't break. It became a dead whisper.

"I love you, kid." He said in that breathless whisper.

"And I you pops...and I you"

Healing wasn't instant, it wasn't even efficient. But that didn't mean it wasn't possible.

---------------------------------------------------

It's been awhile since I posted something like this, as I said in a previous ask i just ended up getting super burnt out.

But as you can see, I have many new ideas to implement into the au (I'm overhauling it again)

I wanted to express some of these ideas in this bit and try out a new style of narration.

Yes, I understand that there are many christian/catholic themes surrounding the allmaker and the preacher. I'm not familiar with many other religions (I'm catholic) so I went with what I knew best and tried to keep it from sounding too stereotypical.

#alan becker #animation vs minecraft #avm #animator vs animation #avm king orange #au #usfc #ava #avm mango #avm mt #avm purple #avm green #avm yellow #avm red #avm the second coming #Drabbles

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justkarama · 1 year

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Okay so how exactly do I start this umm this is my first official RWDE post like ever that isn't a reblog off another post so bear with me I am going to be tagging people I follow because I want to hear their thoughts and open a dialogue @kitkatopinions @itsclydebitches @ironwoodprotectionsquad @rwbyconversations @rosekushina @bad-food-sells-burgers @rwde-chibi @dragynkeep

First and foremost I've had no interest in volume 9 I don't know why but I was more invested in volume 7 then v9 I thought volume 7 first to second half was mid and boring. From what I've heard volume 9 is poorly written after seeing criticism for it and watching the episodes yeah I can see why the majority of the volume feels like filler

Personal feelings aside I have a question why was Weiss Blake and Yang and jaune in this volume legitimately why were they there one of the writers I believe Eddie talked about how this volume was about failure and self acceptance basically this is supposed to be Ruby volume the one where she finally develops for the longest time Ruby always felt underdeveloped .

So wouldn't make more sense if this volume only had Ruby fall in the ever after let this be a character study of Ruby centering her as the main protagonist for this volume

Weiss Blake Yang and jaune all had character arcs Weiss learning to break away from her father Blake learning running from your problems doesn't help Yang learning to get her spark back all happened in volume, 4

Jaune learned to grieve phyrra death for three volumes

Ruby never had a character arc so for a volume that should be about failure Ruby should be the only one there narrative wants you to believe Ruby feels underwhelmed by the responsibilities of others the one to always come up with the plans Ruby has always been the one with the most moral compass out everyone what if Ruby question her morality questioned if she was right or wrong questioned if ironwood was right dealing with the fall of beacon not just atlas

In my volume 9 rewrite ( more like a rough outline) Ruby fall through the void with neo

Now why neo well volume 9 neo doesn't feel like a character in fact neo in general doesn't feel like a character neo is only popular because of her design semblance and fighting style. V9 neo is a plot device so Ruby can unlive herself neo wanting revenge for Roman is never explored because the show never explored either of their characters why does neo feel so strong for Roman all of these questions are answered in a book that is never truly addressed in the show in my v9 rewrite

Neo is told by Ruby herself she didn't kill romen I always found it odd how neo was so quick to believe cinder like cinder is more likely to kill romen then Ruby ever could

.the two are forced to work together to put aside their differences to help each other out

.I also toyed with the idea of neo and Ruby sort of leaning on each other in a sense that they learned to be more open with each other and sort of learning to cope with one another

I would also introduce Alex and Louise changed their stories to my knowledge of the volume it never explains how the twins ended up in the ever after I would have it to where tht twins were being evacuated and because of cinder the siblings fall into the void

I would also provide proper characterization of the twins Louis is a silver eyed who was being forced to become a huntsmen by his father who's also a silver eyed warrior Louis was a prodigy and natural gifted he is considered to be a model student and son

But Louis never wanted to be a huntsman he doesn't like fighting I like the idea that he always wanted to be a make-up artist but his father saw it as too feminine Louis from an early age had toxic masculinity placed on him

Alex wasn't a silver eyed warrior she was more like a tomboy and liked to do boy things but since they grew up in Atlas that was seen as weird and unladylike she wasn't considered talented at all and her father never really bonded with her favouring Alex

.I like to think Alex resented Louis for being the favorite I also imagine that she was to be married off to a wealthy family basically Alex was kinda like Weiss but worse she had no real freedom

The twins meet Ruby and neo I imagine that Louis and Ruby feel a connection as silver eyed warriors

I would also change the jabberwalker to be the main antagonist with intelligence manipulating the cat to do its dirty work befriending the group picking them apart starting with Alex who i feel wouldn't want to leave the ever after because of the freedom it grants her

So yeah this is my sorta rewrite of volume 9 it's a rough outline but I am interested in seeing how others feel about this or how they would rewrite volume 9

#rwde #rwby9 #ruby rose

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cram-nation · 1 year

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who would win? ninjago 1v1s

so if all the ninja had one on one melee fights with each other, no powers allowed, who would win? this is a long post lolz

cole/kai cole is without a doubt the most physically strong of the group, but that doesn't mean that he's the best in a fight. I think that, since I'm trying to exclude the variable of their elemental powers for this, kai would be at a huge disadvantage. Not only because of Cole's strength, but also because Kai himself relies HEAVILY on his elemental powers. Not to say he couldn't hold his own but in this instance, I think that Cole would win.

cole/jay These two have fought before, but not without their powers. I don't know how based this is but in my heart and soul I believe that Jay is excellent at fighting. He's quick-witted, physically fast, and shockingly strong. Cole is much stronger than Jay physically, but I don't think It's quite enough. Jay would win, but it'd be a close call.

cole/nya I think that this'd be a very close fight. Nyas fighting style is very adaptive to her opponent, and Cole's fighting style is very defensive, typically he tries to finish a fight with one move after holding his ground and tiring out his opponent. Nyas tactic analysis is what would win her this fight, along with her ability to read Cole. She's close to him and good at figuring people out. It'd be very very close but Nya would win.

cole/lloyd Lloyds greatest strength is his endurance. He's good at staying on his feet and continuing to fight. He'd pack punch after punch until Cole decided he needed the fight to end. But the move that he expects to take Lloyd out only knocks him off his game for a second, and Lloyd would take the win.

cole/zane I think that this pairing is a bit unfair, for the nindroid. Zanes expertise lies in accurate attacks and Coles expertise lies in defense. Zane would lose the fight.

kai/jay Jay is, in my humble opinion, the best fighter of the team. I think that Kai, though he's not the strongest at combat, would win this fight. He'd use a grapple move on Jay which is something that he was Not expecting. Because if you can't kick him down, might as well pick him up, amirite?

kai/nya Nya would win this fight. In seconds. She spent so much of her early combat training as Samurai X, she didn't even know about her elemental powers for a long time, so it's safe to say that she is not nearly as reliant on them as Kai "Asphera stole my fire so im useless now" Smith. He'd swear up the walls that she cheated. (but he's very obviously proud of her)

kai/lloyd I think that this fight would go on longer than Kai and Nyas fight. Lloyd could probably also take Kai out pretty quickly, but the leader in him would want to use it as a learning experience. He'd make Kais mistakes obvious through his actions and he'd continue the fight until Kai's nearly taken the victory before winning himself. He's not just gonna let him win, but he's not gonna demolish him either.

kai/zane At the start of the fight, Kai would take Zane off guard. It looks like he's going to win easily but in the end that isn't the case. Kai would start with immediate aggressive attacks and Zane wouldn't be prepared. He's used to analyzing his enemy before he truly starts fighting and most opponents give him a fair few seconds of stillness before any action starts, but not Kai. In the end, Zane would win by exploiting some shitty footwork on Kais behalf.

jay/nya I think that this fight would go on for quite a while, probably the second-longest match. Mostly because they're both enjoying themselves too much. I think that any time one of them would be close to taking the victory, they'd give their opponent the chance to catch their breath/balance/composure to continue more fairly. Jays fighting style consists of strong fast and creative blows. Nyas fighting style really depends on who she's facing but in this fight, I think she'd take the approach of deflecting attacks back onto the attacker. Like, Jay throws a hard punch and instead of dodging or blocking, she uses his forward momentum to make him fall on his face lol. I think that in the end, they'd realize that they're both running out of stamina and they decide "no more holding back, let's go for the win" and Jay would win with a knee to Nyas sternum.

jay/lloyd This fight would look pretty evenly matched at the beginning, but as it drags on Jay loses his speed and his mind slips. Like I said, Lloyds main strength is his stamina, he's learned that if he can draw out a fight, he'll have an advantage. It'd be an intense fight but eventually, Lloyd would win. Probably the most entertaining one to watch.

jay/zane I think that this fight could go either way, honestly. I think that Zane would land a blow thinking that he's won and let his guard down, only for Jay to be a lot more resilient to pain than he expected (who knew the littlest bitch he knew could take a good punch) and Jay would win by surprise.

nya/lloyd I think that Nyas strategy with Lloyd would be to take him out as quickly as possible, because she knows that if she can't do that then he'll win in the long game. I think she'd play dirty with this fight. maybe she'd go for a weak ankle or target an old injury. Not because she really wants to hurt Lloyd ofc, but because she knows it's really the only way she'd come out on top. Though in the end, Lloyd would win. it'd be a VERY close fight though. they'd both be close to taping out once or twice before the end.

nya/zane While fighting against Zane, Nya would try and use the element of surprise to her advantage. She knows Zane's playing 8d chess in his brain at all times, and the only way to catch him slipping is to do some weird shit that NO ONE could expect her to do. like,,, he goes in for an attack and she bloody murder screams, catching him (and everyone watching) off guard. Nya would be the victor, but in future battles, the strategy wouldn't work twice against him.

lloyd/zane This would be the closest fight. Lloyds strategy of relying on his stamina wouldn't really be of use against Zane, seeing as he's a literal nindroid, but that's just How He Fights. Zane would use that to his advantage, letting Lloyd think that he was wearing him down for long enough until he could take him out with one well-placed kick. This fight would go on the longest and everyone would be on the edge of their seats watching. Zane would win.

ok thats all have a nice night

#ninjago #cole ninjago #jay walker #kai smith #lloyd garmadon #nya smith #zane julien

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an-eldritch-peredhel · 10 months

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Tagged by @thalion71 thank you!

most hits: Dear Ecthelion (letters are hard to write in your head), with 336! I don't check my stats very often so that's crazy to me. It's probably because it's the only one I have written for LotR, not just the Silmarilion lol. It was my second? I think? Work I posted to be longer than 2000 words. I wrote it for SecretlyThranduil for TSS21 and I'm still pretty proud of it and how it got me thinking about Glorfindel, Ecthelion, and Erestor. I didn't actually get the chance to use most of the headcanons I came up with...

most kudos: Also Dear Ecthelion lol, for the suspected same reason as above. Behind it is I will go as seems good to me which is the start to an "Aredhel becomes a ghost and casually haunts Gondolin" AU that I have written very little about but continuously gives me brainworms. I am very very proud of the style of this one, I wrote it for Tolkien Gen Week 21 and it has haunted (ha) me ever since.

most comments: Remember, All, Listen, All, easily. Written for TRSB last year, my only (completed) multi-chap, and the 2nd longest. Far and away the fic I am proudest of. Perfectly suited to my interests, just enough of a challenge to test me, self-indulgent worldbuilding details, some light conlanging, and absolutely GORGEOUS prompt art by catadromously. Sticking exclusively to Dior's perspective of his fairy-tale parents was really fun and I think gave a pretty unique flavor, and I've been so, so, so gratified with all the positive feedback saying that they could feel and believe the relationships. If you only read/kudos/comment on one of these, this is the one I recommend.

most bookmarks: Calómë (dusk-light), a prompt fill for jaz-the-bard. Writing this was like polishing away a stone to reveal the heart of how I want to characterize Maeglin. Still working on how/if this fits into my personal Arda, and I know the Gondolin OT3 isn't everyone's cup of tea, but I did a lot in here that I'm very happy with, and it took me so long to work out a variation on both Lomion and Maeglin that I was pleased with, didn't have Implications, was gender neutral, and also translated easily and cleanly into both Sindarin and Quenya, so I'm definitely keeping Calómë.

most words: The Goddess and the Weaver, beating out Remember, All by a cool 600. Ironically, this is my other (unfinished) multi-chap. Two-shot? The second half is quietly languishing in my drafts but it is Not forgotten, and will be written if nothing else than for the sake of 3 (three) scenes that I have in extreme clarity in my head. I have So many Miriel thoughts about her and her relationships to life and Vairë and Finwë and Indis and her son... There is a Story behind this fic, which I don't have the space for here but is detailed in the author's note at the beginning, but even though it has fought me every step of the way I am content to let it rest now as is for a while before battling again. Also I did some funky formatting for Vairë's speech and pronouns which was a lot of work but very very cool imo.

least words: This is a Forest, at 547. I usually post short one-shots because I know that I can get them done even when I have almost no inspiration or energy, but this is short even for me. Written for a class as fanfic with the serial numbers filed off and posted in its natural habitat, this is purely self indulgent Doriath As Fey Eldritch Horror Entity With Beren Dealing purple prose. Is it my best technical work? No, but I had so much fun with it, and I think I got across the vibes I wanted to. Also Quick shout outs to the least word runner-ups: A Cruel Forest (630) which is the same Doriath As Entity premise but with a completely different style and Elured and Elurin as Eldritch Maiarin Entities Twisted, and the prince is dead (661) in which Fingon has an existential crisis about his name and the kingship after his father rides out to face Morgoth. Both also written for Gen Week 21. I had so much time that year.

Tagging: @yellow-faerie @tilions @jaz-the-bard @amethysttribble @starspray @swanmaids @arofili if y'all feel like it! Any other writers who see this and want to self-promo, count this as me tagging you to show off your stuff.

#tag game #my writing #self promo #mmm tempted to start a tag game of 'three of your fics you think deserve more love and why' now... mayhaps...

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louismygf · 5 months

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Louis Birthday Tag Game 🎉

thank you @faithinlouisfuture for tagging me 😽😽😽🫶🏼 mwuah!

when did you become a louie?

i don't exactly know when bc i remember for the longest time denying to stan louis (or anyone for that matter) 😭 but late feb (completely missed the defenceless project bc i didn't have twitter then lol) to april of 2021 i think... february being like, oh this guy from one direction is neat i really like his music and april being, wow i have fallen in hell in love with louis tomlinson he is the only man ever

your earliest fandom memory?

WELL, on tumblr, i remember long hair louis with a guitar walking through an airport trended. immediately after he posted the rockstar pic (april 10) of him on instagram 🙏🏽 AND THEN, as a twitter user... this is so cursed but #iheartawards #louies #bestfanarmy 2021 😭 i think i once told myself i'd only keep up with louis on tumblr but not on twitter,, but because i already made a twitter account in april (solely for voting), it just stuck and thus, after iheart voting ended, my stan twitter account was born lol

your favourite song (one off walls, one off fitf)?

i tend to pick two favorites so for walls it's fearless and only the brave and for fitf, all this time and lucky again

your favourite music video?

walls <3 and miss you when im feeling silly hehe

favourite gig?

ltwt manila 2022 😔😔😔😔😔😔🫶🏼 it meant the world to me 😭 louis was so happy and the crowd energy was so good. i don't know if anyone went live for my show but believe me when i say it was loudddd sksks louis was chatty and smiley and interactive and of course so so pretty. vocals were on point i could actually cry recalling the memories of him singing but Ugh it was 😔🫶🏼 those couple of hours were one of the best times of my life for real not even joking

favourite louis hair?

i love when louis' hair is on the longer side, live from london, walls hair or fitf but a bit longer, actual long hair louis Unstyled (now imagine how he'd look if it were styled), afhf hair of course like his hair in the documentary with him sitting and talking wearing his favorite black sabbath shirt And his hair wearing the iconic first ever 28op shirt. basically! long hair OR fluffy and messy <3

favourite louis interview?

the zach sang interviews and his interviews with olivia jones for total access

suit louis or tank top louis?

tank top 😋 but only by a tiny bit difference, he looks good in both!

favourite louis tattoo?

28! and the rogue + spiderweb is sick like the placement is v cool i think... tiny smiley on his thigh and duh the x smiley face too on his arm

favourite louis bodypart? (c'mon we all have one!)

big heart big brain big ass, the holy trinity. and actually also his hands,, and waist.... and. thighs yum...... and. ok im stopping here

thanks again for tagging me <3

#tagged #tag games #tag game #i forgor #sorry a bit late !#i think i almost didnt stan louis bc of him nft posting in march being unmasked in mexico and just generally being put off with celebrities #my first real content of him was full time meals and ot was a charity thing so i was like ok hes cute im sticking around for a bit longer #but by late july i thought i was over it bc.... he'd only been tweeting ab football at that time lmfao 😭😭😭😭#i thought that was my chance to become a normal fan and delete my stan twt or this tumblr or something #but afhf rolled around............ actually life changing #at that time it was the most fun ive ever had in the louie fandom... it's like. oh yeah. this is Really why i love him. it's the music!!!!!#excited for all the projects he has lined up <3 #yk im still so sad and bitter about asia tour. i think i set my expectations too high so ive since recalibrated them. im ok now 👍🏼#he should do better though 😁 hehe ok that's it idk why i said all that

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bridgertonbabe · 2 years

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now that you mentioned it do you think we can get a quick short drabble of princess sophie reminiscing on the morning of her wedding about her teenage crush to her soon to be husband 🥹

Okay so while they wouldn't be able to see each other the morning of their wedding as per tradition, Benedict does send his soon-to-be-wife a little gift to settle her nerves ahead of their big day.

It was only thanks to Francesca's recommendation of knocking back some brandy that had helped Sophie get some sleep the night before. She reckoned she had managed perhaps a full four hours before she was awoken at six in the morning ahead of her tightly timed nuptials beginning in precisely five hours time.

As people worked around her, pulling her here and there, the head of her team kept communicating back and forth with what Sophie imagined was a whole army of staff via a walkie-talkie. She almost considered asking whether she had any time to squeeze in a ten second scream into a pillow, but now didn't seem the time to be cracking jokes.

She always knew weddings could be a stressful event for any bride but the preparations for her wedding to a prince seemed so much more intense than anything she could have ever imagined. Then, just as her hair was in the middle of being styled, Benedict's three younger sisters barged into the room, with Eloise tutting and rolling her eyes at the head of Sophie's team when she had a go at them for their disruption seeing as it wasn't part of the rigid plans for the day.

The girls immediately asked Sophie how she was doing with Hyacinth telling her she already looked beautiful and Francesca giving her hand a comforting squeeze. Eloise then handed Sophie a present, telling her it was a pre-wedding gift from her fiance.

Her heart swelled for Benedict thinking of her, knowing how anxious she'd be, and she unwrapped the present. It was a heart shaped frame containing a photo of her fiance that instantly made Sophie snort and shake her head. When her soon-to-be-sisters-in-law took a look at the photo, they questioned why Benedict had picked a photo of himself from when he was sixteen years old when his hair had been it's longest and floppiest.

"What's with the pout?" Benedict had asked her two nights previously as they cuddled in bed together.

"Nothing." she hummed as she stroked her hand through his hair.

"Tell me." he murmured and pressed a kiss into the palm of her free hand. "I can't have my wife feeling upset."

"I'm not your wife just yet."

"You've been my wife in my heart for quite some time now." he told her, a sentiment he had first mentioned when he had proposed to her and what he had echoed ever since. "Please tell me, Soph. I get if you're overwhelmed by the rehearsal - believe me, I don't enjoy the military regimented scheduling of it either." he said in reference to the hours-long run-through they had just endured of what their wedding would involve. "It's not my first royal wedding and honestly I'm just as stressed as I imagine you are seeing as we'll be the focus -"

"It's not that."

Benedict had raised a quizzical eyebrow. "It's not? Then what's got you pouting?"

A smirk tugged on Sophie's lips, as if she was trying not to laugh.

"Well I must know now." he grinned and perched up, eager to know the reason behind her reaction.

"It's just..." she shook her head as if to dismiss herself whilst still containing her amusement, "I was saying goodbye to your hair."

Benedict stared at her for a minute before barking with laughter.

"Are you under the impression that my locks are being shaved for the wedding?" he laughed.

"No, no." she swatted at him. "It's just your mum said before we left tonight that she would be glad to see the back of your longer hair."

Benedict cocked his head, looking like an adorable dog. "Wait; you're pouting because you don't want my hair to get the chop?"

Sophie nodded as she continued to run her fingers through his longer locks which he had grown out in recent months.

"You like me having longer hair?"

"It makes you look princely."

Benedict snorted. "If you like me because I look princely, just you wait until you hear what my title is."

She gave him a little flick behind the ear for mocking her even though she was failing to suppress her amusement.

"I meant it makes you look like the quintessential storybook prince." she hummed as she caressed him. "Plus it reminds me of when you were younger."

"Hang on - are you saying you liked the floppy 'do I had going on as a teenager?" he asked, his grin filled with mirth.

"I used to have the biggest crush on you." she admitted and mirrored him with a lopsided grin.

"Are you serious?" he squawked with delight.

Benedict's incredulity was all down to his belief that Sophie had not liked him when they first met. He had been under the impression that she didn't care for him ahead of their first encounter and that she had found him arrogant and irritating the more he kept showing up for her sessions. To now hear that once upon a time she had a crush on him as a teenager was nothing short of jaw-dropping to him.

"Mmhm. I always thought you were very cute and the floppy hair..." she shook her head, pressing her lips together to contain her.

"Finish the sentence." Benedict dared her.

"I thought the floppy hair made you so dreamy -"

She knew the roar of laughter was coming and couldn't help giggling along, her face rosying with embarrassment for exposing her teenage thoughts like that to him.

"If my mother could hear you now!" he cackled. "She absolutely abhorred my floppy hair and couldn't wait for me to get a haircut."

"So imagine how deflated I was when you had it cropped." she mused, making him laugh even more.

He had then let her continue to keep brushing her hand through his hair as she bid farewell to his longer locks. He was still her handsome prince with or without the "princely" hair but she wanted to cherish this style while he still had it.

Back to the day of her wedding, Eloise then said that Benedict had asked her to play a song for Sophie and after a couple of taps on her phone Katy Perry's Teenage Dream began to play.

"Oh for god's sake!" Sophie had laughed, her nerves dwindling from her fiance's present.

For the rest of her preparations, Sophie felt a lot lighter and much more mellowed as she went with the flow. She compartmentalised her anxieties about the stringent order of her wedding day and instead focused on how much she was looking forward to marrying the love of her life.

It turned out that there was still a bigger surprise in store when she spotted Benedict as she made her way down the aisle; his longer hair was still intact. He smiled handsomely at her as she joined him.

"What happened to your haircut?" she whispered.

"I hid the scissors from mum." he winked at her. "I told you I can't have my wife feeling upset."

#asks #requests #benophie drabble #royals au #benedict x sophie

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kitkatpancakestack · 1 year

Text

2022 writing review

I know it's 2023 now but only, like, barely, so it still counts.

Tagged by @ttimbradford and @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels i love you both so MUCH MWAH! <3

1. Number of stories posted to AO3: LMAOO considering I didn't start posting fic until late 2021 like basically all of my fics were posted this (last) year so: 17

2. Word count posted for the year: 201,629 (for serious?!?!?)

3. Fandoms I wrote for: 9-1-1

4. Pairings: buck/eddie, chimney & co., Hen & her Cake Guy

5. Story with the most:

kudos: Despite it all, Because of it all - 1,511

bookmarks: Despite it all, Because of it all - 622

comment threads: Breathe - 202

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why): Wait for me there was the longest fic I've written and gave me the most anguish. I wanted to do a good job with the au aspect while also making the characters true to their voices, and the style of the fic was something new for me. It was so frigging challenging but I'm very happy with the way it turned out.

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why): I won't use the word "proud," because I'm proud of everything I have written in some capacity, but I guess the work I am least fond of would be Sit with me in the dark. It was pretty well-received but idk, it just never felt like I was able to produce the writing that I wanted for it.

8. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

Nothing specific, but Dev, I always deeply appreciate your reviews, so thoughtful and kind, ily

9. A time when writing was really, really hard: Right now! It is excruciating to get words on a page, and it's incredibly disheartening, so it is something I'm really going to try to work on and make time for in the new year

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: Eddie's breakdown in How Beautifully We Fall. I was just sort of plodding along with the fic, and suddenly I was like, "Oh, I'm going to make this man have a whole entire nervous breakdown," and it's one of my favorite scenes I've written.

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing: umm how about:

This one is from the home inside my chest, my chimney-centric fic, one that is so very close to my heart:

“Everybody has a home inside their chest, and some people have a little one-story ranch house, while other people have sprawling mansions that are always under construction. Everybody you meet who becomes special to you gets a room, whether you move them in or not.” Hen looks at him, lips pulling up in a smile. “I think you need to move Kevin out of that box in your head and into the home in your chest.”

I was also very proud of this part in Hold on, Let go

It was fear.

Stripped down to its bare bones, it was fear. There wasn’t anything deep or insightful or poetic about it. Buck was scared and Eddie was scared and they were too broken to try and be scared together.

So—

The fear: that love exists in dark corners even if you don’t believe it should grow there,

The fear: that it finds you even if you don’t think you deserve it,

The fear: that love begins and ends and begins again and ends again,

The fear: that sometimes love isn’t enough,

The fear: that sometimes it is.

12. How did you grow as a writer this year: Allowing myself to write what I want even if it's heavy and angsty, exploring different voices and stylistic choices.

13. How do you hope to grow next year: I don't know! I guess we'll see. Hopefully it will involve writing and not just staring at an empty google doc :D

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer, beta, cheerleader, etc): oh man, all the support you guys give is so amazing and really drives me to be better and sit down to write. shoutout to @ttimbradford @eddiediass @hetrez @rewritetheending @yramesoruniverse and I know I'm missing some of y'all, but whether it was your supportive words, hashing out character points or plot ideas, or just being an ear, I have so appreciated you <3

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: I am in everything I write

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: the best thing you can do is just sit down and start. Whether you're new to writing or in a slump or it's been a while. Be a writer and not an editor; allow yourself to just spill words on a page and forget about if they're the right words or in the correct order or if it sounds good. Just write. Write about anything. Write in any tense you want. Be goofy, be serious, be dramatic, be heavy. Just write.

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: I have a Lucy Chen-centric fic I'm working on! It's really gotten me back into writing. Hoping I'll be able to write some more buddie as well

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read: It's late so i'll throw it to anyone who wants to participate! Please say I tagged you and go for it. Love ya'll, and thanks for the support <3

#fic things

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rookthethird · 1 year

Text

the earliest recorded game of Goncharov. also, I'm lying

Goncharov (1973) motion picture score

What follows is an essay on the earliest known game of Goncharov. Also, I'm lying.

I'm obsessed with this essay-game -- On Goncharov by Hy Libre!

Even that Frankensteined term feels like an incomplete answer to the question "what is this piece to me?" (A question I asked myself, of course. This will be a recurrent theme.) Whatever I call it, this thing hit me squarely in the ribcage because I've played Goncharov before.

Please indulge me. I want to tell you about another seed.

Our freshman year of high school, my deranged theatre friends and I played Goncharov for an audience of one: our friend, my recurrent scene partner, and our theatre group's "leading man" -- Jeff. To this day, several of us remain fierce friends and constant collaborators, including Jeff and I. He is one of the most blisteringly skilled artists I know.

Together, our ragtag crew (minus our target) made up an anime called Demon Tomes. We embellished the stage with fanart, headcanon rants, and even one whole gif. It worked. Jeff believed and, much to our delight, joined us in the fandom. But now, as I'm writing this a decade later, a thought occurs. Did Jeff ever search for a Demon Tomes tag on Tumblr? We were all active in various fandoms there; surely his first instinct would be to search for footholds?

Either he never bothered to investigate beyond our conversations, or he made the arguably "stronger" choice as a performer: he searched for this cool new anime, found nothing, andjoined the scene anyway.

We knew/know him very well. We crafted Demon Tomes specifically for him. In retrospect, that curation probably sold the fantasy. Drawing each frame for that gif of the Caretaker smoking, I didn't have Jeff at the top of my mind, but he was there nonetheless. Swimming somewhere fathoms deep.

But perhaps if you're quick when spotting ethical quicksand or familiar with the emotional dangers of method acting, you've already called foul in your head. And I wouldn't blame you! Perhaps if you were here with me, you'd say -- Hey Rook, the difference between Goncharov and Demon Tomes is that the former involves thousands of willing players who are in on the joke, whereas the latter involves one unwitting player who is perhaps the punchline. Couldn't that be considered a gaslighting prank?

I have thought about this a lot myself. I put myself in Jeff's old boots and ask, "would I enjoy this if I were in Jeff's position?"

Spoiler: Jeff did. This is more evidence for him knowing all along. He expressed nothing but delight from overture to plot twist to curtain call. And he absolutely could and would fool us jesters like that. He once had me guessing his three middle names based on initials for years, only to yank me offstage with a casual "oh, you already guessed them years ago, but I won't tell you which guess."

So Jeff loved Demon Tomes, and perhaps he was the director all along. But Jeff and I are very different in many ways. April Fool's day makes me cry. I'm painfully gullible in the face of deception without logic. Every time I think: "why would they lie about something so inconsequential?" Thus, I'm a sitting duck for pranks and Ihatethem. Pranks affect me so adversely that as April Fool's approaches every year, I remind my loved ones that they shouldn't prank me unless they want to witness me melting down on the spot.

I could write endlessly and aimlessly about this, but my ruthless chronic pain acts up more when I type for prolonged periods. It's become so agonizing that I can no longer draw, and I have no indication it will ever improve. My first love, my longest pursuit, my most-honed skill. My career. Each and every one, names for the same dead sapling.

Jeff is perhaps the only person I've told about this grief who can perceive the vast meaning of the loss. He and I have very different practices, styles, and trajectories -- but we've both been drawing for about the same number of years. Which is to say: our entire lives, if you count the way I do.

Jeff and I both graduated with razor-sharp skills and beautiful portfolios from meatgrinder, prestige-belching institutions. But Jeff went to art school, and I went to theatre school. We both got messed up in special ways, curated to us as individuals, and we paid for the privilege. For a long time, I thought the best metaphor for my time as an acting student goes like this: You know how when a caterpillar contorts its own body to rend its way out of a cocoon? But now I know that's a lie. I may have written it, but it originated with my professors. Caterpillarsmust undergo pain to transform and fly. My acting "training" was abusive. Abuse is not what's "best" for the person being abused. It is violently, ruiningly unnecessary.

If I ever escaped my cocoon, I didn't do so in theatre school.

I did so right here, just now.

for the caretaker playlist

What follows is the game of my life, as thanks for the benediction.

The village of Roxaboxen lies in a one-acre wood. You are the local mapmaker who lives by the fallen oak. You spend your days drafting ever-more specific maps of the acre. This requires a steady hand and an inquisitive eye. Travelers arrive and depart, but some stay long enough for you to learn their names, their mannerisms, their fears. You sketch them in your free time and trade them maps of the surrounding area for shards of sea-glass.

There’s the hunter. She moved silently and took several spoonfuls of sugar in her tea. Then there’s the blacksmith and his brother, who picked up odd jobs around the village and has a gap in his teeth. The blacksmith worked with thunder-metal found in sheets in the one-acre wood, so named for the sound it made when shaken. You remember that low, rolling sound. And Luke, you remember Luke. He stayed the longest. He taught you how to fold a piece of paper into a scorpion, how to throw a knife, how to laugh without trepidation. The other travelers still pass through every once and awhile, but you know you’ll never see Luke again.

Roxaboxen has changed over the years, shifting around you like roots enveloping a stone. The treehouse was built, and visitors from all over painted on its walls, and then, after years, it collapsed in a storm. Pets get old and die. Gardens bloom. Things are always rising up and caving in around here. Growing, decaying.

Thankfully, your younger sister -- the local tinkerer -- is a constant. She once fashioned a functional axe handle out of a porch spindle. She’s dormant dynamite, full of potential energy. Although you’re the mapmaker and she’s the tinkerer, she’s the one who has ventured all over the outer lands. She brings back scraps for her work and artifacts for you. A small wooden box filled with teeth, a stone etched with unknown symbols, curiously strong magnet. She will always come back.

Your task, too, stays the same: map the one-acre wood with increasing detail. You take to mapping the deer trails through the tall grass. The footprints of a hurried chipmunk. The slime-path of a slug which spent the day sliding across your front step. You take to mapping the stars. There, the kite constellation. The mongoose. The scorpion, for Luke. You look up, and you look down. The universe spreads in all directions, endless, and you will never see more than a fraction of it, let alone map that fraction. You have fashioned yourself into an authority on the minute details of Roxaboxen. You’ve charted the residents’ daily routines. You’ve mapped the rambling paths of sleepwalkers. And for what? You will never be able to capture the totality of this place, or any place.

What use is a mapmaker who won’t venture beyond their one-acre world?

So, today, you’ve decided to leave. What’s out there? Have you brought enough ink? Do you have your pencil-sharpening knife? How many people will think of you once you’ve left? Will they remember your name? Will you remember theirs?

Who knows you now? I mean, really knows you?

When will you come home? Will you ever? Why not? What’s wrong with home?

Who do you think you are?

Are you scared?

Will you go anyway? ~~~ my other games

my other stuff besides games

#goncharov #indie ttrpg #ttrpg #memoir #unreality #poetry

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