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jalapeno-princess · 3 years

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Nobody Compares To You Part 2

Mark Tuan X Reader

Genre: Angst with a happy ending (If you are a Yugyeom stan, I suggest you skip this one)(I’m sorry, but I had to do it)

Word Count: 10k

Summary: You thought that the feelings you had for your boyfriend Yugyeom were enough to help you move on from your past relationship. But what happens when your ex-boyfriend confesses that he’s still in love with you and regrets breaking up with you entirely?

A/N: Hi guys! So this was highly requested and I was actually debating on whether or not to make a part 2 only because I didn’t know how I would go about writing it, but I wanted to give this couple a happy ending (and to fulfill your requests). I suggest you read part one in order to understand this one a little more. Thank you to everyone who enjoyed the first part to this story and a big thank you to @hello-you-suck for being so patient with me! You’re actually one of the main reasons why I decided to make a part 2 hahaha thank you for all your love and support with my stories! I hope you enjoy!!

Read part one here

“Wait—he said what? You can’t be serious Y/n. He told you he regrets the break up and that he still loves you? You’ve got to be kidding me—and on the same night that shit went down at your parent’s house? No shade towards your mom, she’s a lovely lady; but from what you told me about her reaction to meeting Yugyeom, I just know she probably tried to get in touch with Mark right after the two of you left. I mean come on, it’s not just coincidence that he confesses his feelings for you on the same night you introduce your boyfriend to your family. It’s obvious your family still want the two of you to end up together. You didn’t respond did you?”

You shook your head in disagreement. Both you and Youngjae were currently on break and eating your lunch in the break room. It’s been five days since that extremely awkward dinner with your boyfriend and your parents. Also five days since you received the messages from your ex-boyfriend; telling you that he was still in love with you and that he was willing to give it another try with your relationship if you wanted that also.

When you first received his messages, you didn’t know how to react nor how to feel. You haven’t seen or heard from Mark in over seven months and just like Youngjae was right now, you found yourself curious as to why he just so happened to text you only a few hours after your mom told you that she didn’t like Yugyeom. You knew your mom was still in touch with Mark’s mom and it was understandable—they became good friends even before the two of you started dating. However, the two women had a tendency to plan out the future of your relationship without either of you knowing.

Apparently Mrs.Tuan wasn’t a fan of the girl that they were talking about a few months ago. You wondered what the girl was like and if his mom—or anyone for that matter influenced him to end things with her. But then again, Mark was a grown man; he was old enough to make his own decisions for himself. This entire weekend you couldn’t get his words out of your mind.

If you’re still single, then I just want to tell you that I miss you like crazy and if you still feel the same way that I do, then maybe we can try again? I love you.

He loved you. He still loved you. Those three stupid little words have been repeating over and over in your mind—taunting you this entire weekend. Why did he have to say that—why did he have to text you at all? It’s as if he knew there was a chance you did reciprocate his same feelings even if you may or may not have been seeing someone else. Your heart—whether you liked it or not would always belong to Mark Tuan and this is what you were afraid of.

No matter who you were to end up with—they could be the most handsome, intelligent, talented and successful person on earth and you would still choose Mark over them every single time. As much as you didn’t want to admit it to yourself, you did find your fingers hovering over his contact; typing out responses halfway only to delete them before you could say anything that would answer his questions. Even if your heart was pleading with you to say something—anything, deep down you knew it wasn’t fair to Yugyeom. Yugyeom’s insecurities that he voiced to you right as you began to drive away from your parent’s house had you rethinking your brief lapse of judgement.

You don’t—you don’t still love him do you?

There was no way you’d be able to tell him that yes—there was still a small sliver of your heart that belonged to your ex-boyfriend; especially because it was obvious that he was genuinely hurt by the way your family treated him so crudely. The next morning when he came to pick you up so that the two of you could go get breakfast together, you were well aware that he was still bothered by the entire situation. He didn’t talk as much as he normally did and he barely even touched his food.

That alone indicated that he was so upset—your boyfriend had quite the appetite, so seeing him only take a few bites of his pancakes before pushing the plate away made your stomach sore. It was only natural though; if you were in his shoes and his family treated you the way your family treated him, you’d be devastated. But you didn’t know if you could keep lying to Yugyeom about your true feelings for him.

He was an extremely kind-hearted and soft spoken person. If you had to describe him in your own words, he was a golden retriever in human form; always happy and upbeat—always putting other people before himself and doing whatever he could to make his loved ones happy. There were some qualities in your boyfriend that you were very appreciative of; no matter how tired he could get from dance practice, he’d always come over and drop you off some dinner. He also had an adorable habit of calling you up on his lunch breaks to see how you were doing—and to make you laugh, he would search up cheesy pick up lines because he witnessed on many occasions how much you would laugh at a lot of the ones he would use on you even if they weren’t all that funny.

Yugyeom made it clear that all he wanted to do was be a boyfriend you could be proud of. He wanted you to love him the way he was falling in love with you—but deep down, as much as he wanted to believe that you were moved on, he wasn’t stupid. The younger boy might not have been the brightest bulb in the bunch, but he was very observant and he could tell that you weren’t yourself. Something was obviously bothering you.

If he wasn’t aware of Mark’s existence, he would have just assumed it was stress from work or school. But now, he couldn’t get rid of the many thoughts that you were distracted by your ex-boyfriend. If only he knew that it went further than just your mom’s distaste in him that led you to think about the man in question. You didn’t have the heart to tell him about Mark’s messages; you knew it would only make him even more timorous and uncertain about your genuine feelings for him.

For the three months of your relationship, not once have you ever shown him any ounce of worry or sign of being upset. You never took your stress out from work and school on him because you never wanted to cause him any unnecessary worry. There were days where you’d tell him you were exhausted and didn’t feel like going out or interacting with anybody; including him and he was always so understanding when it came to giving you your space. However, you were more distant than usual and he just couldn’t stop the feeling that your mom’s brash words had an influence on the outlook of your future together—if there was even a future for the both of you at this point.

He hated thinking like that, especially because he really did like you and since you were his first actual relationship, he felt as though his feelings for you were a lot stronger than they would have been if he had past dating experience. Yugyeom thought the world of you; he didn’t let your family’s negative reactions towards meeting him get in the way of the happiness you caused him or the way anything you did made his heartbeat increase. He thought it was still too early to love you, but he knew what he harbored for you was more than just simple infatuation.

Noticing how your smile never completely reached your eyes as it used to in the beginning of your relationship and how you were not being as interactive with him or putting in the same amount of effort in to the relationship that he was—he just knew there was a huge chance your heart was no longer in it. You may have enjoyed his presence; or just enjoyed him as an individual. Yugyeom had like to think that he was a good boyfriend and you praised him multiple times about his kind hearted and extremely generous nature. He might not have been what Mark was to you when the two of you were still together—nor did he probably mean as much to you as your ex-boyfriend did, but he wanted to think that he was worth it—that he was enough to help you move on.

That he could be the lucky guy that got to love you for the rest of your lives; but it was honestly too much to ask for. When Youngjae first warned him about you and how there was a chance that you still were healing from your past relationship, he took it with a grain of salt. Mark was your ex-boyfriend and like you said on the night of that disastrous dinner with your family, you were no longer with him for a reason. Unfortunately, as the days went by, he found himself becoming more and more unhappier.

It’s like you weren’t even trying to hide that you were upset—at this point, he wished you would just call it quits with him to spare his heart from breaking. But you continued to go on dates with him—you called him and texted him once you finished work, you’d cuddle up to him while watching a movie, you would bring him lunch every now and then to make sure he was eating all his meals on time and you kissed him like nothing was wrong.

If only that could be the case. You knew the way you were acting towards your boyfriend was extremely unfair; especially now that you were aware he knew all about Mark’s existence and that Mark was the reason you were so bothered these days. It wasn’t that you enjoyed hurting him—leading him on or pretending to care about him. Deep down, you knew Yugyeom meant a lot to you and that you were very appreciative of what he has done and continues to do for you.

Honestly, you really wanted things to work between the both of you. He made it adamant that he had feelings for you and that your relationship was one of the only sources of happiness he had in his life—maybe that’s why you continued to stick around. You might not have had the same amount of romantic feelings for him, but you weren’t a heartless person. There was no way you’d allow yourself to hurt him or inflict any kind of pain on him just because he wasn’t who you wished you were currently with. You were also afraid of what were to happen if you did leave him and went back to Mark.

Sometimes, like a book—life and relationships end just like that; in the snap of a finger. No cliff hanger, no sequel—nothing. What if you and Mark used to have was it? What if your breakup was the end of your book—what if you did give your love another try just for it to end the same way or even worse than it did the last time? You wouldn’t have Yugyeom to save you—to hold you and tell you that everything would be okay. It wasn’t like continuing your relationship was miserable—the younger boy was such a wonderful boyfriend, even if you could tell he was hesitant or took some time to plan out how to approach in fear of saying or doing something to upset you. Yugyeom deserved so much better than you—someone who had a clean slate just like he did. Someone who wouldn’t break his heart because she was still hung up over someone from her past. Yugyeom was your present—you should be keeping your focus solely on him but you just couldn’t do it. No matter how much you really wanted to. Little did you know that the future for your relationship was no longer in your hands anymore.

“I don’t know if Youngjae told you, but our company is having a Christmas party in two weeks and I don’t know how he did it, but he talked me in to going and I was wondering if you would like to go with me.”

You were currently sitting on Yugyeom’s lap—your face pressed up against his chest, listening to his heart beat ever so softly while re-runs of the office played on his laptop. Both your schedules have collided in the last week, so you weren’t able to see each other as much—but you got off of work early and asked to spend some time with him. Although he was the one who brought up wanting to see you, you couldn’t help but feel as if something was wrong. The atmosphere felt tense and you couldn’t put your finger on what exactly was out of place. He was more quiet than usual—but you just assumed it had to do with something that happened at practice.

His dance teacher has been hounding on him for almost a month now about perfecting his moves for a specific choreography their dance crew was meant to perform for at least five hundred people at this big theatre near his university, so you believed he must have felt discouraged or nervous. He also didn’t kiss you once he opened the door and allowed you inside—Yugyeom was always quick to place a chaste kiss on your lips which sometimes led to more passionate and heartfelt kisses—sometimes even steamy make out sessions—but tonight, you were the one to initiate the kiss—a couple of kisses actually.

He didn’t pull away and he did deepen the kiss, but you felt as though he was only doing it for your sake. Neither of you really said a word to each other besides what you both did today and if you had already ate, but that was it. Even though you were currently wrapped in his embrace—you didn’t feel comfortable in any way. He might have had his arms wrapped around you, but he wasn’t holding you affectionately. It felt forced; like he didn’t want you to think something was bothering him if he were to push you away or sit far from you.

“Oh—no, he didn’t say anything but I might be busy then—you know, with all the practicing and stuff for the performance—“

“I thought you said it was on the 12th?”

“It is.”

“The dinner is on the 22nd. But it’s fine if you don’t want to go. Maybe we can do something afterward or we can plan to go see the city lights—“

When you felt him take in a deep breath before motioning for you to get off of him, you knew he was going to say something negative or at least something you weren’t going to like. He turned to face you and but his bottom lip; a habit of his that you’ve noticed he would do if he was either nervous, worried or distraught.

“Y/n. I love you.”

Your eyes widened in shock of his revelation. He loved you? There wasn’t anything wrong with his confession; knowing the kind of timid person he was, it had to take a lot for him to say something that could be somewhat intimidating—especially since he had no idea how you felt about him. Those words sparked something inside of you. You knew you liked him—you cared about him and wanted nothing but the best for him, but did you love him?

If you genuinely loved Yugyeom, you wouldn’t let your mind wander over to Mark and the fact that you had yet to respond to him. Why were you even still wanting to? It’s been almost a month—he probably took your silence as your answer. It had to be too late to even try anything with Mark, so why were you going to ruin what you and Yugyeom had just because you were unsure of what your genuine feelings were? His heart was on the line—who were you to be the one that could ruin his entire outlook on love and relationships in general. You’d scar him—he’d probably be terrified of entering another relationship if the two of you were to end things and you wouldn’t be able to live with yourself knowing that you were the one who broke him.

“Yugyeom—I—“

“But I’m letting you go.”

Hearing his voice crack as he murmured the sentence in the most quietest voice you’ve ever heard emit from his mouth pulled on your heartstrings and made your stomach sink. When you and Mark first broke up—you were devastated. Since you were together for quite some time and seeing as how he was your first actual boyfriend, you never knew what heartbreak was. You’ve heard what it did to other people—how it made some of them so depressed to the point where they couldn’t find it in themselves to get out of bed.

You believed wholeheartedly that Mark was the man you were going to spend the rest of your life with, so when things didn’t end up going as planned, it felt as if your entire world was flipped upside down. It had to be the worst feeling in the entire world. You didn’t want to sound dramatic, but you were sure you could have died from a broken heart and honestly, you wouldn’t have cared. Without Mark, you were nothing—completely nothing and there was nothing else really that you felt the need to survive for.

It was pathetic; you felt pitiful. Making someone the center of your life—your world—made you a complete and utter fool. You didn’t realize it until now, but Yugyeom did that with you and you were too focused on everything else going on in your life to recognize that you had something—someone so amazing that would love you and care for you without hesitation. As much as you wanted to be upset with his words—you couldn’t find it in yourself to react.

Sure, you didn’t want to lose him, he was one of the only people that you enjoyed having in your life. His presence calmed you down—he was your solace. He made you laugh and smile on the days where you didn’t even think you could do so. The idea of no longer having him in your life even as just a friend brought tears to your eyes. There was no way you could stay friends with him after this—you couldn’t do that to him or to yourself.

Even if you were to reciprocate his feelings, you knew he must have planned on breaking up with you for a while now. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t see this coming; if you were to treat anyone the way you have been treating Yugyeom, they probably would have left you a long time ago and you wouldn’t blame them. What person in their right mind would want to stay with someone whose heart obviously belonged to someone else? Someone who used to be in a long-term relationship with the person they loved? L

ooking at Yugyeom—you wanted to feel something, anything. You wanted so badly to try and get him to rethink his decision—you’d even lie and say that you loved him to get him to change his mind. But you knew that’s not what you wanted. You couldn’t keep doing this to him—preventing him from truly being happy. From not worrying and overthinking your relationship. From being with someone who would love him and appreciate him in the ways he deserved. The way you should have been doing so yourself.

“Can I ask you why?”

You didn’t feel like you deserved an explanation and you already knew the answer anyway—but you wanted to hear him say it. You wanted to hear from him personally so you could inflict pain on yourself for taking advantage of his kindness—his loyalty.

“It took me a long time to even come to this decision. I never understood what love was—I’m twenty-three years old and I had yet to express that kind of emotion. When you came in to my life, I had this sensation in my chest. It was nothing I’ve ever felt before—I always wanted to be around you, hear from you, hold you, kiss you—I love having you in my life. You make—well, made my heart so happy. I told all my friends about you—I even hinted about you to my mom, but I didn’t want to rush anything between us so I haven’t complete told my parents about you. But I was confident that you were someone I could see myself settling down with. I know we only started dating a couple of months ago, but that shows that you mean a lot to me. Unfortunately—I know you don’t care for me as much as I do for you. I can feel it in your hugs and your kisses—I can hear it in your voice and I see it in your eyes. You might be mine in hind sight—physically, but spiritually and mentally you belong to someone else. You might have said you no longer have feelings for him or that I’m the only guy you want to be with, but I think you tell yourself that so maybe one day you’ll believe it. If I didn’t know about him, then I would have just brushed off your constant dazing out as disinterest. You don’t have to say it—you’re still in love with Mark and there’s nothing I can do about that.” He brought his fingers up to your face and wiped away a tear that you didn’t even know fell. His eyes began to water also and his voice was faltering, but you could tell he was trying his best to be strong.

“You mean a lot to me y/n. You always will. All I want is for you to be happy and it’s painfully obvious that you’re not happy with me as much as you play yourself out to be. I know you’re trying to move on—but maybe you should try and see where his mind is at with this entire situation. But that’s only if you want to. I don’t know why the two of you broke up, but when two people are destined to be together—love will always find a way for them. God, I would have never thought I would be the kind of guy to give advice to my girlfriend about going back to her ex. I must be insane.”

You giggled gently before the tears picked up again. What did you do to deserve someone so patient and understanding? Someone who was giving one of the only things that he genuinely cared about in order to make you happy? What person does that? You don’t think you knew of anyone who would sacrifice their happiness and their feelings for someone else—someone that they love who unfortunately does not feel the same way towards them. He pulled you close to his chest and ran his fingers through your hair while waiting for your cries to settle down. You wouldn’t be able to forgive yourself knowing what you did to him—knowing that you used him in a way for your own personal gain. There was no way you’d be able to look at him or even look at Youngjae without feeling like a terrible person.

“I’m so sorry Yugyeom—I’m so so sorry. You are an amazing person—you’re so wonderful. I never deserved you. Thank you for every single thing that you have done for me. I hope and pray that one day, someone will love you the way you love others—the way you love me. You have one of the kindest and most gentle hearts out of all the people that I know. You’re such a sweet and exceedingly special boy Kim Yugyeom. Please, don’t think any less of yourself because of my failure to recognize what an extraordinary person you are. You saved my life in ways that you will never know.” He cupped your cheek with the palm of his hand and left a soft kiss on the corner of your mouth.

“Stop making it sound like you’re a bad person y/n. You’re not. You’re in love and being in love isn’t a crime. Your feelings and emotions are valid. It took your breakup with Mark and your relationship with me for you to realize that he is the lucky man that you want to spend the rest of your life with. Now go. I will always be here for you whenever you need me.”

You were feeling so many different emotions in that moment; your heart felt heavy knowing that there was a huge possibility he was hurting. It was all your fault—as much as you genuinely had an amazing four months with him, you’d be lying if you said your intentions were pure. You wanted nothing more than to move on from Mark and there was no way you’d be able to do that without having someone to move on with.

Someone who gave you the entire world on a silver platter without hesitation. Sometimes, you’d find yourself regretting Youngjae’s offer of setting you up with his friend. Sure, you would probably be in a lot worse shape than you were in right now, but at least Yugyeom’s feelings would have been spared. But then again, you wouldn’t have met the person who changed your life entirely. He might not have been the one who owned your heart, but he did have a huge impact on it. After taking in a couple of deep breaths, you stood up and motioned for him to follow in suit before wrapping your arms around his waist and holding him as tightly as your body allowed you to.

Deep down, you knew you couldn’t stay with him even if you wanted to just to make him happy. It was selfish of you, but like he said—your happiness was all he cared about. You didn’t want to take your pain and suffering out on him any longer.

“There aren’t enough words for me to describe what a wonderful being you are. Please never hesitate to call me if you ever feel alone and need someone to talk to. I don’t want us to have any ill-feelings towards one another—although I could never feel anything but respect for you. Oh—um, do you mind keeping this between us for a while. I don’t think I’m mentally stable enough to receive an earful from Youngjae just yet. I can already hear him scolding me for making such a huge mistake.” He giggled softly—although, the light never reached his eyes. You were well aware he was just putting on an act to please you.

“Will do. Drive safely. Let me know when you get home—if you want to. You don’t have to—“ You got on your tip toes and placed a soft kiss on his lips before walking over towards the table and grabbing your things.

“I will. I promise. Goodnight Yugyeom.”

Right after leaving his apartment, you hastily walked to the elevators and covered your mouth—not wanting the entire floor to hear you cry over what had just happened. It was a lot for you to take in. You were now single, your ex-boyfriend gave you the green light to return back to your other ex-boyfriend and it was all because he had a gut feeling you still harbored feelings for Mark. Honestly, you didn’t even know whether or not you wanted to get in touch with Mark. Were you really going to reach out to him and reconnect with him just like that? Like you didn’t just go through a breakup literally less than half an hour ago?

Did Yugyeom mean that little to you? Could you really do that to him? Then again, if you continued to stay away from Mark, he would probably assume that there was nothing left for the two of you. All of this would have been for nothing. You wouldn’t have let go of someone who genuinely appreciated you—loved, cherished and adored you in ways other girls could only dream of. When you got in to your car, you sat in the driver’s seat for what felt like hours contemplating your decision and weighing out your option. You also found your fingers hovering over his contact—typing out multiple messages but ultimately deleting them.

After giving your situation some time to think over, you not down on your lip nervously as you dialed his number. During your relationship with him, you and Mark always preferred phone calls over text messages and emails. Sure, you’d save each other’s sweet, heartfelt love confessions that you’d send every now and then, but you both preferred talking to each other and hearing the other person’s voice over every other form of communication. If you thought you were nervous hearing Yugyeom tell you it was over between the two of you, you felt as though there was a huge possibility of you throwing up as an effect of waiting for him to pick up.

Ring after ring, you began to lose hope and wanted to give up completely. Maybe it was too late—maybe he found someone new to help fill the void or to try and get rid of you from his life completely. Who knows? What if he went back to his previous girlfriend, the one his mother told you about? Mark wasn’t going to wait forever for you and there was nothing you could do about that. Right as you were about to hang up the phone, you heard a little bit of shuffling before the notification popped up that he answered.

“Hey—sorry, my phone was on the charger and I was in the middle of playing fortnite. Are you okay? Is everything okay? Did something happen?” You tried your best to calm yourself down—hearing his voice for the first time in almost eight months was driving you slowly to the brink of insanity. If just hearing his voice alone was having such a huge toll on your thinking process and breath functioning, what more when you were to see him again in person—if you ever did.

“I—um—yeah—actually no—fuck. I’m sorry, I—I don’t know where to start or what to say really—“

“Y/n, you can tell me the truth. There has to be a reason why you’re calling me this late. I know you well enough to say that you don’t get in touch with someone for nothing—“

“Is it too late? Am I too late?”

The line went silent for a few moments—all you heard was the sound of his breathing and now you were regretting calling him in the first place. You felt so pathetic, of course it was too late. Who were you kidding? You wanted to laugh it off and say you were drunk—you wanted to tell him this phone call was a mistake, but like he said, he knew you well enough—hell, Mark knew you better than he knew himself.

He knew every single thing about you; from your favorite color to your blood type and even weird facts about you like how you love French vanilla ice cream but you couldn’t care less about vanilla bean. He was just so enamored by you and he wanted to familiarize himself with the person he claimed was his soulmate. The two of you may no longer be together, but he wasn’t going to forget everything he learned about you that easily or that quickly.

“If you’re referring to what I think—and can only hope that you’re referring to, then no. It’s not too late. It’ll never be too late. I meant what I said that night. I haven’t stopped thinking about you at all since our breakup. I’m still so head over heels in love with you; I probably always will be and I miss you like hell y/n. But if that’s not what you’re talking about, then please completely disregard what I just said.”

You laughed softly at the idea of Mark getting all flustered at the thought of you wanting to give your relationship another try. You knew him just as much as he knew you. He was probably scratching the back of his neck in embarrassment and his cheeks were probably red from blush. Hearing him say those three words so easily made your heart flutter. It was different reading that he loved you through text messages and actually hearing those magical words fall from his pretty lips. Yugyeom was right—your heart would always belong to Mark no matter how many other guys were to try and replace him—there was no getting over him.

“I love you too Mark. I don’t think I ever stopped. I’ll explain everything to you once I see you again or once we decide what we’re going to do, but for now I think I just want to call it a night.”

The word exhausted didn’t even describe half of what you were feeling in the moment—but you were more mentally drained than physically. You couldn’t get the image of Yugyeom looking so sad out of your mind. It’s as though your brain was purposely taunting you for making decisions with your heart. Your stupid, stupid heart.

“Wait—before you hang up, would it be okay if I come over? I know it might seem too soon and I respect your wishes entirely if you decide that tonight isn’t all that great. I just—I really want to see you—I need to see you. But I will wait however long you need me to. Who knows, maybe you think you want me back in your life tonight, but tomorrow morning when you wake up, you’ll regret your decision—“

He sounded so defeated trying to explain that you might be calling him as a spur of the moment kind of thing or because you might have only missed him as a result of being lonely. From your knowledge, he didn’t know you were in a relationship, but then again, your mothers were notorious for gossiping about what went on in both your lives. That had to be the reason why he texted you all those messages on the same night you and Yugyeom had a disaster dinner at your parent’s house. You wouldn’t have been surprised if you were to find out your mom called Mrs.Tuan and complained to her about your new boyfriend right after you and Yugyeom left their house that night.

“No—no—I want this. I want you. Trust me, I want nothing more than to be yours again. Our breakup—no longer having you in my life—not getting to hear your beautiful laugh that always lifted my spirits and filled my chest with so much warmth, not getting to trace these extremely handsome features of yours while being wrapped up in your embrace—no longer being able to go to bed with you right next to me and waking up to your stinky morning breath—it all sucked. I felt like such a pathetic idiot for crying over you, especially since we both agreed that we needed this break up. I didn’t realize how I was completely nothing without you until I couldn’t reach out to you when life got too hard. I couldn’t function without you around—you’re the sole reason of my existence Mark. I love you—God, you don’t even understand how much I love you.”

“Stop—please stop—you don’t know what your words are doing to my heart right now. I’m going to melt in to a fucking puddle—do you still live at the same apartment? I’ll come over. I have to kiss you—I’m sorry. I don’t even care if you decide that you came to a mindless choice—“

“Yes, I still live there. Now, enough with the nonsense. Shut up and come kiss me.”

You would have never thought in the many months of your breakup that there would ever be a day you would get to have Mark in your life again. Right after the two of you came to the decision to break up in the first place, you thought it was over completely. Breakups are initiated for a reason—to no longer be with that person. As much as you wanted to believe that one day, you and Mark would find your way back to another and that it couldn’t have been the end for the two of you, your minds were made up at that time—if your love was strong enough to last, if the feelings you had for Mark meant anything—wouldn’t you still be in a relationship with him?

No matter how hard life could get for the both of you at one point, shouldn’t your love have been enough to conquer whatever battle you were going through? Hearing him confess every single heartfelt thought of his made your stomach fill up rapidly with butterflies. This was not the way you thought things were going to end up tonight. Just a little over three hours ago, you were running your fingers through Yugyeom’s soft, brown locks—telling him that you couldn’t wait for him to become a renowned hip-hop dancer and that you thought the world of him. Now, you were just minutes away from being in Mark’s arms again—the man you’ve been in love with for almost a decade now.

The same man you were sure you wanted to settle down and spend the rest of your life with. It pained you to admit it—thinking something like this made you feel so selfish and inhuman, but you never saw a legitimate future with Yugyeom. He was a very wonderful person and you were sure he would be an even better husband than he was a boyfriend—but it wouldn’t be for you—he wasn’t meant to be yours just like in a sense; you were never really his.

“I’ll be there in ten minutes—tops. I love you, I love you, I love you—so fucking much. Agh—I’m so excited. I’ll see you real soon baby.”

The excitement and enthusiasm in his voice and hearing the term of endearment gave you a rush of adrenaline. Only then did you realize that you were still parked in Yugyeom’s guest parking. Your apartment wasn’t all too far away from his and seeing as how you were notorious for speeding, you found no problem rushing over to your place with the intent of both showing and telling Mark just how much you’ve missed him. You found yourself running a few red lights—laughing to yourself at your eagerness and impatience.

The love of your life was yours again—you couldn’t wait any longer to see him. It took you less than five minutes to pull up to your apartment structure and you made a beeline to your unit; not caring how you parked—you wanted to clean up the place just a little bit while changing in to some clothes that would make you look more presentable. You were running all around your apartment like a mad woman. Thankfully, you had the motivation to clean and tidy up the day before, so the only thing you really had to worry about was what you were going to wear. When the two of you were still dating, Mark made it known that he couldn’t care less about what you wore—he believed you made any outfit look so good and most of the time, it ended up on the floor anyway.

However, was a huge fan of seeing you in his clothes—they were two sizes too big for you because he loved buying oversized and baggy clothing, and even some of his tight fitted clothes swallowed you whole so anything bigger was practically like a tent on you. You dug in to the depths of your closet for some of his clothes that you still had—you never had the courage to give it all back to him and you always felt like once you were to return all of his things, it really meant there was no turning back for the both of you. You found one of his shirts—one that you stole from him over three years ago because you loved the way it looked on you and he was always vocal about how he did too.

Mark wasn’t the kind of person to grow irritated if you were to take his things without asking. What’s his was also yours and if anything, he would even offer many times to let you use and borrow anything if and when needed. That’s just who he was and it was one of his many traits that you loved about him so much. Right as you changed in to the shirt and a pair of shorts, the doorbell rang and it took every bone in your body not to run over and open it.

No matter how much you were craving to finally have him back in your arms again, you didn’t want to come off as too eager. You took in a few deep breaths in attempts to calm your racing heart and allowed yourself to react naturally to seeing him. Honestly, you didn’t know what kind of reaction you should have expected once you opened the door—but he didn’t give you any time to process his presence before he practically yanked you up against his chest and roughly smashed his mouth against yours.

His kiss felt so foreign yet so familiar—the two of you have kissed many, many times in the seven years you have been together for. Kissing Mark was one of your favorite things to do. There were a lot of different kisses you would share; from slow and passionate to rough and steamy—nonetheless, the way Mark kissed you was always so wonderful and breathtaking—literally. However, this kiss in particular had to be the best one you’ve shared. He had a tight grip on your hip with one hand; grazing his thumb against your lower back while cupping your cheek with his other—melding your lips together perfectly like his life depended on it—as if the world were to end if he didn’t kiss you like he meant it. You smiled widely against his mouth, still trying to accept that this was really happening.

That Mark was currently at your doorstep and kissing you with so much fervor to the point where your lungs were drying up with the lack of oxygen. The two of you continued to make out for a few more minutes; you couldn’t find it in yourself to let go and to your delight, neither did he. Once you felt like you needed to pull away in order to breathe and to recuperate your sanity, you gently placed your hand against his chest and stole one more kiss from his bottom lip before reaching for his hand and leading him inside. You brought him over to the couch and allowed him to sit down before you attempted to find your place right next to him—however, he grabbed at your hips and pulled you on top of his lap; finding a position you would both be comfortable in before leaving a sweet kiss on your cheek.

“Hi.” You grinned softly at him before playfully pinching his cheek.

“Hi.”

A part of you felt like you should be finding it weird that the two of you were acting as if nothing was wrong—like the breakup never even happened. Like you didn’t spend the last four months with another man on top of three months mourning over what no longer was. But this was Mark—the man you knew every single detail about from head to toe. The same man who you went through practically everything with. Every high and every low that happened in your life—a Mark was there.

On the days that you cried because work or school could be a little too difficult, he held you like a baby and rocked you back and forth to console you while whispering words of encouragement and comfort. On the days where you achieved success or something amazing happened that you weren’t quite expecting, he would bask in the excitement with you and celebrate in multiple ways to show you just how proud he was.

Mark wasn’t just anybody—your heart—mind, body, soul and spirit belonged to this man. He was your person as much as you were his even before either of you even realized it. Neither of you were obviously the same people you were almost eight months ago, but you’d like to think that the distance ultimately brought the two of you together like an invisible magnet—or a gravitational pull. You snuggled up against him—allowing your body to mold in to his; barely giving him any personal space. You wanted him to know just how much you’ve missed him and how miserable you’ve been without him.

“My shirt looks so fucking good on you as always. It’s like you want me to die before I can even really get to have my way with you. I can’t tell you how fast my heart rate increased when I saw your name on my phone. I had to do a double take. If I’m being honest, I pathetically checked my phone at least five times every single day to make sure you didn’t text me. I couldn’t help myself—I had to hide my phone in fear of not having any self control and calling you up just to hear your response. I know I told you to completely disregard my messages if you had someone else or if you didn’t want anything to do with me anymore, but I still kept holding on to this tiny string of hope that you were going to find your way back to me.”

His words felt like a jab to the chest; you thought about this on multiple occasions after receiving his messages. You knew it took a lot for him to build up the courage to text you all that he did; especially since he was unaware of your feelings and relationship status. Your heart began to hurt for him; Mark was a very fragile and sensitive guy. The two of you hardly ever argued but when you did, he was always the first one to throw in the white flag and sacrifice his pride in order to make things right between the two of you.

He’s told you many times that he hates seeing you upset or sad, even more so when he is the reason. You couldn’t help but feel as though he was beating himself up for the last few weeks over the fact that you didn’t respond and it made you feel horrible. You should have at least told him you moved on—or that you were trying to. But you were keeping that window open just in case a night like tonight would happen.

“I’m so sorry Mark. I didn’t mean to ignore you—I’ve been wanting to respond to you right as I got your messages. When I read that you still love me and that you wanted to give us another try, I was over the moon. I couldn’t stop rereading over your messages—but—I was in a relationship. Can I ask you something?” He nodded against your neck and left a gentle kiss against your skin before giving you his full attention.

“That night that you texted me—I brought my boyfriend over for dinner to meet my family. It was a disaster. They were extremely hostile and my mom made it well aware that she did not like him at all but there wasn’t a reason for her to be so rude. He tried his best to impress everyone, especially my mom, but she didn’t even put effort in to pretending that she was the least bit interested. I pulled her to the side and that’s when she told me she would only ever approve of you. She said to stop being stupid and to do whatever I possibly could to get you back. I don’t know why she’s so adamant on us ending up together—well, I know why—we have so many memories together. You’ve been in my life for almost ten years, we got in to this familiar routine of only really knowing each other. You are all I’ve ever known Mark and it took our break up for me to realize and accept that you’re all I ever want to know. I felt so lost without you—you took a huge part of me with you when you left. But what makes us so confident that things are going to work out this time? What if the same reason we broke up the first time causes us to break up again? I can’t lose you Mark—I can’t go through another broken heart—“

His lips were warm against yours and as much as you weren’t the biggest fan of him interrupting you—you’d be lying if you said you didn’t want to kiss him a lot more now that he was back in your life.

“And you won’t baby. I can promise you that. No more tears—no more breaking up—I can’t be without you, I need you y/n. I don’t know how I went this long without you but let me tell you, I was suffering. Waking up every morning felt like a chore. Interacting with people became so annoying and I hated leaving my apartment. I couldn’t stop thinking that we made a mistake—every single day. I wanted to storm back in to your apartment and kiss you senseless. I wanted to fight harder for you—for us. I’ve known that I wanted you in my life until I grew old and wrinkly even before we became a couple. Every time my mom brought you up in to conversation, I could physically feel my heart break. I wanted to ask her how you were doing—if you found somebody new, if you still had feelings for me the way I did with you, if you regretted the break up—but I didn’t think it would be good for either of us.” He took in a deep breath before running his hands through your hair and placing his chin on your shoulder.

“Jinyoung kept giving me that bullshit “if we were meant for each other, we would still be together.” I had to stop myself from socking him in the face. That was complete and utter bullshit. He and Jaebeom kept trying to set me up with all these girls I had no interest at all in. I even left a date like an asshole because I wanted nothing to do with them or just dating in general. I didn’t want to be with anyone if it wasn’t you. The thought of loving someone else made me sick to my stomach. My mom gave me the same earful—telling me to go buy you a bouquet of flowers, a nice piece of jewelry and to ask you for forgiveness. She wouldn’t stop reminding me that you are the best thing to happen to me—like I didn’t already know that and believe that wholeheartedly. I promise she didn’t reach out to me—although, I don’t blame her for loving me so much, I’m amazing—ow! What? I’m being serious!” He rubbed his forehead on the spot where you flicked him before playfully squeezing your butt.

“That was simply coincidence—or maybe it was fate. Maybe your mom talking about how much she wanted us together is what got you to realize that that’s what you wanted too. Like I told you in the text, my mom brought you up to my dad when I went to go visit them. I know it was on purpose—I’m telling you, our mothers are a dangerous pair when they’re together. Maybe we should keep our relationship a secret for a little while—I’m sure they’ll have a field day once they find out and the last thing I need is for my mom to boast that she told me so. Wait—do you mind telling me when you and your boyfriend broke up? I mean, you don’t have to, I’m just curious—“

“He broke up with me—because of you.” He gave you the most adorable look of confusion—obviously not understanding any word you just said and motioned for you to continue.

“I never told him about you when he and I started seeing each other—I didn’t feel like it was necessary. But our mutual friend who introduced us to each other let him know that I had gotten out of a relationship four months prior just to warn him that I might still be healing from the breakup. I never showed him that I was still hung up on you or that my mind and heart was somewhere else—but that night, he put two and two together and asked me if I still loved you. I couldn’t help it—I had to lie to him. I wanted to move on—and I couldn’t do that if I was still making you the center of my world. I thought that if I continuously told him that I felt nothing towards you anymore, I would start to accept it myself.”

You brought your hands up in to his shirt; wanting to be as close to him as possible but not in a sexual way. This was one of your favorite ways of being intimate with him. He was your own personal furnace; his body was always so warm and you had to stifle back a laugh seeing him blush at the feeling of your dainty fingers running along his chest.

“I got your messages right after he dropped me home that night and I’ve been so out of it ever since. He knew I was unhappy—he told me he was aware that I did not love him or care for him the way he obviously did with me. He had a feeling that the dinner is what turned my mood so sour, but he never spoke up about whether or not hearing your name again happened to be the reason why I was so distracted. I wanted to act as if everything was fine—I wanted to pretend that your words weren’t the only things I was putting my focus on, but they were. I didn’t react to his accomplishments as much—I no longer laughed at his jokes or initiated any kind of skin ship. I was only staying with him for his sake and because I was hoping that maybe one day I would reciprocate his feelings. But I couldn’t and I honestly never will. He wanted me to be happy—even if that meant giving me up to someone else. I couldn’t keep leading me on and using him for my benefit. It wasn’t fair to either of us and it made me come to the realization that nobody will ever be able to replace you. I’ll never love anyone or care about anyone the way I do with you. You’re my soulmate Mark Tuan. My special person. It’s going to be you and only you for the rest of my life.”

You looked up at him with so much love and adoration in your eyes—God, how did you live without him for so many months? Seeing tears brim up at his eyes made your heart flutter—he might have told you he loved you on a daily basis, but watching him cry over you just proved how much you meant to him. You pecked him gently before wiping away a couple of tears from his cheeks.

“I love you y/n. More than I will ever be able to tell you—but I can show you every single day through my actions. You mean everything to me. Every morning I wake up and every night before I go to bed, even during the day, my heart longs for you and my mind wanders to you. You’re my entire world baby and I plan on giving you everything you deserve and more. I know we won’t be able to pretend like these last seven months didn’t happen, but I will make it up to you. I promise. I won’t let anything get in the way of you and I. You and me—we’re endgame. I’m going to marry you one of these days and we’re going to live the life we’ve always wanted—together.” You beamed up at him and reconnected your lips together; humming contently in to the kiss.

“Hmmm—that sounds wonderful. Together with you is my favorite place to be.”

#got7 imagines #mark tuan #got7 #mark tuan imagines #got7 mark

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