#finals got me really stressed and a lot of personal stuff in the mix is making me break
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red flag when I don’t reblog with anything in the tags this is a cry for help
#finals got me really stressed and a lot of personal stuff in the mix is making me break#just one more week
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hi hp!! did you know that orgasms could help reduce the feeling of menstrual cramps? 🤓
who among txt do you think would be most likely to… support you this way when you tell them you’re cramping :(
(totally not dealing with cramps right now nope 🤡)
- 🐳
hi!! omg im sorry its been a few days since u sent this in, hopefully ur feeling ok!
but omg! i wrote something about this on my old blog before it got permanently flagged. lemme see if i can find it~
ok..it was LONG long, so i cut it down~ shout out to @peachanonie for the thought in my inbox the first place :}
cw. periods, period sex, cunnilingus on period, period blood, everything about periods, sex toys, penetration (protection not mentioned), pet names (baby), TMI about my personal preferences lmfao.
peach: BEOMGYU!! i think he’d be a bit into bloodplay…. like the idea of it at least. but poor baby wouldn’t like the idea of hurting u like that so he’d never actually indulge cus it’s scary to him :( but! when he reads online somewhere that orgasms can be really good for periods… baby boy gets so curious
keeps reading and finds out ppl get extra sensitive when on their period too and he gets so 😳
at that point it’s just a matter of brining it up to u cus he’s a little shy when it comes to this stuff. tried to gently suggest it next time ur on ur period by hinting at it a bunch “did you know orgasms have a lot of benefits while on your period?” side eyeing you to see ur reaction LMAO he’s so cute.
but ofc ur not dumb and u see exactly what he’s doing… how cute he’d look while u tease him and make him feel small under u while u press kisses to his jaw and sweetly whisper how much you’d love to be pleasured by him if he wants to
as soon as he gets the okay, he’s practically jumping on you. starting at ur boobs and showing them LOTTTTSSSSS of love cus he knows how sensitive ur nipples get on ur period 🤭 wants to hear ur pretty noises so so bad so he doesn’t let up til he can’t take the excitement of eating u out ok ur period any longer.
makes sure everything is clean and prepared for a mess lol and then he GOES TO TOWNNNN. like i think as soon as he sees ur pretty pussy dripping with a mixture of period blood and arousal, he’d be fuckin floored and would dive straight for your clit (knowing it’ll pull the loudest moan out of u). and as soon as he actually TASTES you? instantly humping the bed. i think he’d cum in his pants quite quickly too 😭 poor baby just thinks u taste too good :( it’d turn him on so much. and with how hard you clench around his tongue, mixed with the taste of u in this state, i think he’d even maybe cum twice…… cus i know he’d be going at it for a looooooong time. just wanting to make u feel good and ease ur stress during this painful week :(
and when he finally lets up, he looks up at u with pretty little doe eyes, asking if u feel better and your heart just SWELLS at the sight of him. chin covered in ur release n blood, so so pretty for u….
already has a damp towel ready on the bedside table to clean u both up. and don’t expect him to fuck u after. no no no. all he wants is for you to gently stroke his cock while you lovingly make out, laying facing each other, til he whimpers into ur mouth that he’s cumming. pls pls PLS cuddle him to sleep, he wants to fall asleep with his head in ur chest :( and don’t even think abt getting dressed LOL u can wear underwear if u want cus ur on ur period but he will NOT allow you to get too hot in the night and ruin ur much needed sleep during such a stressful week for u! (it’s totally not because he wants to have a faceful of ur soft bare breasts to fall asleep to)
waking up the next morning to see a sleepy gyu with bed head and pajama pants laying out plates of pancakes for you both is honestly the best part.
service bf beomgyu is my weakness 😔
-🍑
me: ...peach. peach. PEACH. im in shambles. literally trying to think of anything to add lmao. but...this is soooo beomgyu.
i can totally see y'all sittin on the couch together and he's just scrollin thru his phone and ur just kinda groaning and he asks u what's up. you tell him ur on ur period and cramps are esp bad that day.
and he's like "...i read orgasms can kinda help w that..." and tries being as nonchalant as he can, but u catch on lmao. AND MAYBE! bc i see beomgyu's partner being a lil cheeky—you decide to tease him urself.
"oh ya? i think i heard that somewhere too..." nd u giggle just a bit, hopping off the couch, takin out ur tampon/cup lol, and returning w a lil vibrator. u bend over, ass toward him, slippin off ur pj shorts and he's just o.O then u plop back down, legs spread, spreadin ur lips a bit nd he sees u all wet and a bit bloody...speechless. u wanna tease urself, wanting his tongue to be the first thing that touches ur clit to get that "first touch" moan you know what i mean so u just switch it on, the sound of it alone makin u wet. and u kinda just rub it around your pussy for a bit, but he can't take his eyes off u.
"awe, jealous of my vibrator, baby?" and he just swallows and stutters a bit before he takes over and does everytHING
but i definitely need to write hcs for all of them!!!!!!!!! AAAAHHHH kicking nd squealing bc—my thing (TMI ALERT!!!) with period sex is i like penetration on my period. and i love seeing the bottom of my booty just barely covered in blood afterward. it literally makes me hnnggg. so just thinkin about yj takin someone from behind on their period, booty a lil bit red AH crying ><
#inbox!#🐳 anon#peach!#hp's hard thoughts ☁️#beomgyu smut#beomgyu hard thoughts#beomgyu hard hours#txt hard thoughts#txt smut
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#🪐: main 4 — baking brownies with them
synopsis/concept: baking brownies with the main 4
content warnings: none!
author's note: the thing with ike is partially based of a personal experience LMAO. also i think there's tense inconsistencies but i don't wanna revise smh, so sorry ab that!
kyle broflovski
kyle loves to bake with you whenever it rains, it helps him relax. whenever he starts to hear even a drizzle he calls you to come over😫
you guys rarely use a prepared recipe though, and whatever you use to make it changes every time, since you're just winging it most days and trying a bunch of stuff
and you guys love to add random shit to it, like whatever you can reach, you just grab it and dump it in.
you guys are constantly giggling and yelling so it never gets boring or quiet, it's literally so fun
literally everything is funny to you, like kyle mixed up the flour and the sugar and you both found it hilarious??
you guys also put music on and dance every few minutes, and while you wait for them to finish
and sometimes ike comes into the kitchen and joins you guys, until kyle makes him leave against your protests 😔
once, ike got on the counter somehow and smeared the batter everywhere when you two weren't looking. that's why kyle doesn't let him stay long most of the time anymore
it was so funny because you both thought it was shit 😨
you guys were laughing until your stomachs hurt when you realized, but sheila was NOT amused 💀
tbh it took longer to clean than to make the brownies since you made such a mess, and lowk made it worse.. but cold brownies are better anyway!
stan marsh
stan would literally be so prepared. he has a recipe sheet, all the ingredients, toppings, and supplies all laid out neatly on the counter.
he'll probably want to add some weird ass shit to it too, like marshmallows, or peanut butter
"trust me it'll taste good! i swear, i've had it before. you're gonna thank me later"
and somehow it does turn out good?? 😧
he'll probably get cute matching aprons for both of you omg??
he partially takes the lead, being kind of bossy tbh but we love dominant stan
and he's definitely a perfectionist, like he'll measure everything meticulously. if you add even a drop more of something than the recipe calls to tease him, he'll lowk panic tbh
and if you try to taste the batter he'll probably lecture you about how dangerous it is 😒
"don't do that dumbass, you could get salmonella. or e. coli or something."
before putting it into the oven he'll probably write a cute little note on it for you with a toothpick or something to surprise you 🤭
luckily, you guys finish up fairly quickly, since stan's so neat and organized
eric cartman
unfortunately you're not really baking with him, you're baking for him..
does nothing to help you except tell you how he likes it and how he wants it to be
"um, no y/n. i want more vanilla in it. usually i eat them with a lot of vanilla"
he's kind of excited though, he loves when you do stuff like this for him, it literally makes his heart swell 😓
he'd probably be super close to you all the time to supervise you and shit, hugging your waist closer to him
you do the opposite of what he says sometimes just to bug him, because the look of exasperation on his face is so cute 😕
"oh my god- you stupid FUCK i wanted m&ms. what normal person eats brownies with almonds??" (almond brownies are fire btw)
he's so funny when he gets mad too, and you keep having to stop to catch your breath
but honestly, sometimes, he's not actually upset or mad at what you're doing. he just does it more and exaggerates just because he knows it'll make you laugh, and he loves seeing you smile so widely because of him
he's so impatient too, when they're baking he keeps asking when they're going to be done
when you're finally done, he'll tell you how good they are to justify all the stress he caused 🙏
"see? i told you it would be better with m&m's. and the almonds aren't too bad either, i guess."
kenny mccormick
kenny would agree but he'd be really cautious and scared to do anything
he still tries to make himself as helpful as possible, bringing you everything you need, giving you suggestions or ideas
you have to beat him away with a spoon sometimes because he keeps trying to have all the chocolate 😭
he feels bad that he can't do much, but he doesn't want to accidentally kill himself
so he opts to hinder you support you emotionally as well, just hugging your waist from behind and encouraging you with kisses ☹️
and just like kyle, you guys put on music while baking
but once you knocked over a whole bag of flour dancing, and he was just laughing hysterically 💀
and you yelled at him to help you clean up, but he's writhing on the floor, cackling and coating himself in flour
and then when he's helping you clean, he probably knocks over the batter or something and he starts laughing his ass off again
it ends up taking a while to finish, since you and kenny are both a mess and have to restart tons of times
but eventually, when you finish, he'll probably ask you to take some home for karen and his siblings 😢
#south park x reader#kenny mccormick x reader#kyle broflovski x reader#eric cartman x reader#stan marsh x reader#kyle brovlofski#kyle broflovski#stan marsh#eric cartman#kenny mccormick#kennyluvr
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Aita for making my friends drop another friend completely?
Warning: There is mention of suicidal thoughts. Also I swear a lot, I apologize.
This is some dumb discord drama but I feel like an utter asshole for this despite multiple people say I wasn't in the wrong and others saying that the friend group shouldn't had known about the situation and I shouldn't had forced this onto them.
And I been around here a lot, please don't excuse any behavior taken here as "You guys are young" or "You guys are kids." You will understand later as why but a lot of things that happened shouldn't be excused and that involves some of my behavior. And no, I am not doing a TL;DR.
There is a lot of pre-context so I will bold where the situation I'm talking about starts.
So me (17, he/they) and a few friends had created a server to get away from people in another server. We had really 1 rule which was "what happens in the server, stays in the server". This hangout server became a vent server very soon as a lot of us have issues that we just can't see a therapist for and use each other.
We had an issue with this one friend, let's name him Owl (14, M). Owl had been way to relaxed and some of the stuff he had said began to lead to fights within the friend group. He and another Jojo (15, M) were making jokes about each other, which were taken too far. Owl could had stopped it way before by stating that the jokes were too far but despite he had started it. He texted Jojo about their biggest insecurity in the form of "imagine having [insecurity]" and then hell broke lose. Owl knew Jojo was insecure about this because they talked and vented to each other privately, so for Owl to do that was shitty and a red flag that we didn't catch at the time, mainly because Jojo didn't tell any of us what was said till after the dropping.
This was only one out of seven conflicts we would have with him before we got fed up. I will not go through all 7 but I will go through the ones that led to us removing him from the group.
I, Owl and a few others of us were playing a game on. I was very stressed and stated that beforehand and wanted to game to cool off. This was around the time that the Supreme Court made their decisions which added to my stress. I cannot remember what comment he made but my stress hit a peak and I blew up at him, possibly a joke about rights (trans rights) which is a touchy subject for me (it isn't out of his character). At this point I was having a breakdown on call and he didn't realize despite the fact it was clear through abnormal behaviors. Owl had also been around be in a breakdown beforehand, so I don't know how he didn't know. During breakdowns my voice becomes shaky and cracks, I speak very fast and make irrational decisions. Our other friends picked up on that and tried to deescalate the situations but Owl kept going and adding conflict until I removed him from the call (because both of us had admin powers). After a while I had gotten Jojo involved out of sheer panic and trying to get out of a conflict while not thinking rationally. After a while I rejoined call, Owl was gaming like nothing happened and I cried on mute due to the breakdown. Why I rejoined call? I don't know. Jojo pulled us to the side and talked about how he didn't want any more conflicts and that we would have our perms removed, Owl was informed that the breakdown happened and what he did made it worse, he didn't apologize for it at all.
The final situation we had with him before we dropped him was between Me, Owl, Jojo and Ark (Doesn't want age to be stated, M). Owl had lost all ways to communicate on call because of a dumb action he did that caused panic to another member (reading a classified document that another person found on Bing after being told to stop). He was clearly upset and during the mix Jojo had gotten a suicidal thought but Owl had encouraged his thoughts saying shit like "Why wait? Your life of pointless". Ark stepped in and bashed Owl for this behavior and the two got into a fight before we banned Owl.
Owl let the situation drag for 5 days as he didn't try to fix what had happened or apologized for any action he done up to that point unless the entire group was against him. The some of us got together and decided a last resort plan, we would stage an intervention and give him 3-5 days (which is being nice) to fix his shit or he would be dropped. We invited him to another server and we have the intervention there. He took a while to join, nearly 40 minutes. He was informed how important it was 20 minutes in and took another 20 to join. After that he refused to join call, which I understand but it was more so, he didn't want to because he saw no reason. I told him why, he got upset at the fact we were timing him. We had the mentality that he was on our time as he did waste 5 days not doing anything but letting the situation just hang. Me and him got into it and he said he didn't care about any of our friendships (even those not there) and he wouldn't mind being dropped if we were going to pressure him to apologize for things that here his faults and try to make amends.
We dropped him however I made the choice of informing others who weren't in on the plan and told them to drop Owl. This also meant Owl could not come to America to get his dream job which requires 11 years of training because he was dropped but not only Me, who would bring him to the states and house him, but also the person who was help pitch in for his college payments and student debt. I feel bad about informing everyone about what he had said and how he acted, which included people who had no idea what was going in the background. There were people coming back who hadn't been online this entire time and being told to get rid of him. I just feel like I shouldn't had forced that decision on them, especially as a person who had been dropped by an entire friend group like that. But we been doing a lot better without him and we try not mention the situation but as time has gone on, I feel more and more terrible at the fact I put other people involved and had them remove all contact to him instead of letting them decide.
Am I the asshole?
What are these acronyms?
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OC Questionare
Thanks for the tag @winterandwords and @illarian-rambling! I'm gonna compile the questions in this one 👍🏾.
I tag: @jezifster @weirdgirlcroix @the-void-writes @revenantlore @cryptid-s-wips (Only if you want! Open tag too)
Your questions
1. Be honest, you fucking up that dance floor? (Good or bad way doesn't matter.)
2. Something you think is stupid?
3. How's that sleep schedule looking?
Robots & Gardens crew I guess.
What are you most ashamed of doing?
Green: "Killing a protester for meh money. Was desperate at the time. Hopin' not to fall on desperate times again."
Peace: "Guess I'm ashamed if I dragged anyone into an unsuccessful plan. Stresses everyone out."
Hollis: "Working my old job. Shouldn't have stuck around so long."
Donnie: "Taking on extra enhancements to do this job."
Digits: "I wouldn't really say I've got a lot of actual friends. So I've gotta be doing something."
If you had one wish, what would it be?
Green: "Enough money to support all the peoples that roam in. 'Specially the kids and Peace. Peace might hate it, but she loves me it's fine."
Peace: "No more fucking smog. I want to see the sky. I feel like I haven't seen a clear sky since I was a kid. The hell is this?"
Hollis: "That I had focused more on my music. Love helping people but I shouldn't be used to seeing demolished prosthetics and what people look like screaming and sobbing in pain. You know? But maybe that's me."
Donnie: "More accessible tech. Damn it took me three damn lifetimes to figure all of this out."
Digits: "I just want prosthetics that don't suck ass and sleep. If they pick sleep tell them to make it eternal. I'm sick of this shit."
Where is your favourite place in the world?
Green: "Gonna take ya on a nostalgia trip a bit. I'd say Peace's parents's place. But maybe the diner with the good pops. The fizzies in the glass bottles with the real sugar. Oh hell yeah. Add Peace to the mix and a silent phone and I migh've finally died."
Peace: "There's this spot by the diner right. And there used to be a patch of trees and like an itty bitty pond thing? It was kinda like a really really deep puddle after it rains. Green and I used to sit there sometimes and chug fizzies back to back till we felt like we were gonna puke. Think one of us did one time."
Hollis: "There's a couple hangout spots. But one in particular has a longue sorta thing going. And I get to play my music for a crowd. Get to play my music for the gorgeous dancers when they show. And I usually get a mouthful of a beautiful person too. It's the place to be."
Donnie: "Those rooftop garden things. A lot of them do end up shrivelled and depressing looking after the chemical rain. But the ones that flourish. Really fucking flourish. It's gorgeous. Or just my own home garden. It's nice to stare at nature after fighting all day. Or staring at screens all day."
Digits: "Is it sad if I say my place? Feeling like I'm barely there anymore. It's comfy. There's usually food. The tv works. I like my room, bed's comfy."
What is (or would be) your favorite subject in school?
Green: "History. I actually understood it the longest."
Peace: "Foreign language. Language classes in general really."
Hollis: "Shit it's been awhile. Any of the hobby classes maybe. Really liked the hands on stuff." (Electives basically).
Donnie: "Science. The really broad environmental stuff. I didn't like the smaller stuff much."
Digits: "Math and trade skills. Ended up working construction for a reason."
Have you ever played a prank on someone?
Green: "Yeah. Think I ended up gettin' my ass beat by the menace though."
Peace: "Nope. Well maybe? I helped Green out with hers sometimes. I hate when that woman pranks me. Gets her off my back if she can focus it on someone else."
Hollis: "Pulled out a chair or two. Swapped drinks. Nothing special."
Donnie: "I don't think so. I don't think I'm clever enough to come up with a good one."
Digits: "People usually prank me. But I've gotten my get back a couple times."
If you could swap bodies with anyone you know for a day, who would it be?
Green: "Hollis maybe. She's cool, maybe I could get somethin' out of it."
Peace: "Digits. And I'm making her lay the hell down."
Hollis: "Don't think I could do it. Donnie gets injured all the time. Digits's arms spazz at random. I'd give myself a concussion in Peace's body. Get killed in Green's. And would be annoyed to clean up after drunk assholes at my hangout spot as a bartender."
Donnie: "Digits maybe. Give her a mental break from her prosthetics at least."
Digits: "Green. Green all day. No I didn't answer that too fast. Fuck off."
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About kinktober! I still intend to do it but my life…isn’t exactly giving me time and mental stability for it. Putting it under cut bc there’s some triggering stuff I don’t want to accidentally let someone read (cw: Health issues (normal for me), joblessness, financial instability, deppresion and anxiety, death in the family.)
.
So I’ve been very busy as we were planning a vacation for my moms birthday and now, we are having issues as a family member just passed, then I had a doctor check up, to which I won’t go into detail by my liver isn’t doing well as they told me I should drink or take pain killers for a bit.
I don’t drink, and when I did it took me a month minimum to drink a single bottle and that’s sith me still having to dumb done bc I accidentally left it out in the open. I only take pain killers while on my monthly and that’s if it’s severe.
I had five vials of blood taken from me in a week, the problem? I’m fucking anemic. So I’ve felt like shit for days and today, I just got knows the lot where my job is has been bought out, meaning they are going to close. Meaning I’m going to lose my job in two months.
I don’t have much money because I’m fucking stupid and take too much thc driven things to keep my depression and anxiety at bay, and given my allergies food I buy takes up basically whatever I have left of my check…I have to spend fuckibg 8$ USD on bread mix! If I was better with money I’d probably not end up like this.
I have people who are willing to help me but my brother is the only person I trust enough to ask for help. He’s going to be jobless along side me and I cant put that stress on him we both are so confused on what to do.
Mira so fucking terrifying to think that I did nothing wrong and this is happening, after working here for four years (and my brother working there longer) and I just finally got into a position I’m happy with, that that’s now going to be taken away from me and it was just something that can happen anywhere.
I’m shaking and crying since I don’t even fucking know where to try to go to next since there’s really nothing close to what I was doing near me.
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Finally reading the full XY volumes!
For context, XY is my least favorite Pokespe arc, so I decided to give it a second chance hoping that the extra chapters and better art in the full volumes would help me like it more. But did it?
What I liked:
I will say that the extra “filler” chapters really helped pace out the story much better and warmed me up to the characters! The Pokemon-Amie and Super Training chapters in particular. It felt weird not having an explanation in the originals for Y’s Sylveon, let alone an Eevee. This is why I disagree with people nowadays hating filler content. Done right, it helps with character and worldbuilding in small subconscious ways that can help an audience enjoy a story more!
I do enjoy how bold the arc starts, having Vaniville be decimated by the legendaries in the first chapter!
Reading the XY arc chapter-to-chapter and mini volume to mini volume, it felt like X took much longer to even help his friends. Now reading the arc all at once, he feels much less stubborn and selfish, which is good!
Minor thing- removing Y’s nudity is the only instance of censorship in Pokemon Adventures that I actually appreciate. It doesn’t disrupt the plot or make no sense like censoring Green’s Pokeball booby trap, Emerald’s pee joke, or especially Norman and Mirei’s abuse.
Apparently, a lot of the Gurkinn stuff was added in the full volumes? My memory on it’s a bit foggy but that’s wild to me if true- it just feels so plot-important. No wonder I felt the arc was badly-paced on my first readthrough!
Speaking of which, I love that we get chapters dedicated to non-dexholders again! It feels like we last got stuff like that with Keldeo in BW or the Hoenn Gym Leaders!
A lot of the other things I like about XY have been said by most other people already and apply to Pokespe as a whole. Battles are fun and creative, making great use of Pokemon trivia from their dex entries, the leads are unique and well-written compared to the rest of the franchise, there’s a good mix of dark and light themes, and the returning characters are fun and meaningful cameos!
What I disliked still:
It’s still really hard for me to suspend my disbelief that Team Flare managed to silence or arrest everyone who saw the Xerneas-Yveltal battle or its aftermath, especially in the age of the internet.
The gang learning most of the important plot stuff from Team Flare constantly spilling their plans kind of killed some of the tension for me, to be honest. Also them letting all the grunts go instead of capturing them for info or just to turn them over to the authorities.
Sycamore not realizing Lysandre is evil is stupid in any version of XY’s story, I’m sorry.
Team Flare’s brainwashed victims having the “same personalities” felt a bit lazy still. Brainwashing is one of my least favourite tropes though, so I might be biased there.
I think the manga over-corrected with Shauna, Trevor, and Tierno. Instead of all being overly positive and aimless like in the games, being put in constant danger in the manga means they’re all similar levels of scared and stressed, so their personalities don’t stand out all that much either. Shauna especially just being a similar aggressive and serious type like Y, just with less of a backstory. That one weird sexist quip Shauna had in the Sylveon chapter also rubbed me the wrong way, too.
Minor- I still don’t get why Kusaka aged the main cast down from 17/18 to 12 in this arc. It just makes X and Y look like they got hydraulic pressed proportions-wise, and makes the aforementioned scene with Y feel gross.
Speaking of which, why is Clemont drawn SO short in this arc?! He’s normal-sized in the official art and the anime, so that’s another baffling change to me.
Minor- Malva gets her Pyroar back from Aliana after the Diancie chapter where she already has Pyroar- is there something I’m missing here?
While the pacing has vastly improved compared to the mini volumes, it still feels off in the final two volumes. Suddenly taking an intermission from the Ultimate Weapon to introduce Zygarde practically out of nowhere just feels clunky. Compared to the anime where they had both Zygarde and the Megalith planned months in advance with proper foreshadowing. Or a better comparison would be the RS manga, where both evil teams planned on using Groudon and Kyogre from the start, and that’s what we end the series on.
TLDR: Overall I’ve really warmed up on this arc! I had way less confusion reading through it thanks to the extra chapters, and I’ve grown to understand X a bit more as a protagonist. I still have some problems with the arc, namely how the rivals are handled, and how Team Flare is presented as an omnipresent all-controlling shadow government when their members at all levels constantly spill their secrets. If you have any other thoughts, facts, or even disagreements, I’d love to hear them!
I’d say this reread has put XY above B2W2 and maybe SwSh in my ranking of all the arcs, which is still something! Now we all have to wait and see how ORAS’ full volume release changes its place on the rankings, hehe…
#pokespe#pokemon adventures#pokespe xy#trainer x#yvonne gabena#q speaks#review#positivity#negativity
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Life Update
Just checking in.
It's been going... mixed, lately? Nothing terrible, but I have a lot on my mind. I feel in flux, like I'm at an indiscernible turning point and need to make a huge decision.
Work and Life Choices
My work stress levels are on the high end, recently. I'm bringing a new assay to the company, and that's been difficult because... I can't ask anyone for help. No one has the knowledge, lol! My first trial run was a huge success, and I'm a bit blown away. Basically, work keeps asking me to do novel stuff with little support, and I just... Keep?? Delivering???? And I realize this sounds braggy, but like- No one is more surprised than I am, believe me.
Meanwhile, I was asked to help with selecting a lead candidate for a project, which is totally new to me and was always the responsibility of folks one, two, or more "steps" above me in the company hierarchy. I've never been given this opportunity, but also... The only reason I made headway is because a senior colleague kindly helped me. HOWEVER, my manager asked me to meet with him before showing my plan to the project co-lead, since I'm new to this. AND THEN HE PEACED OUT TO A CONFERENCE FOR A WEEK AND LEFT TWO DAYS EARLIER THAN EXPECTED. So. That really stressed me out! I still don't really know how to handle it, but you can only maintain that level of stress for so long. You eventually enter the universe of, "I cannot be fucked. I am unfuckable."
Although as an asexual bean lol-
The good news is that it really benefits me to gain this knowledge- it's within my wheelhouse, but it's always been considered above my pay grade until now. Contrast this with bringing new technologies to the company and working with new formats. Folks keep asking me how to use the machine that can purify mAbs (basically the most... simple/common antibody format used in biotech), and I keep telling them... I've never been assigned mAb work, so I have no idea. I'm over here working with VHH and IgA and weird multispecifics exclusively.
I got another email on Friday where my boss assigned me more novel stuff I've never done. I can't exactly argue when he's in a conference, but... I am... Unsure... How I can get all of this done, lmao???
On the other hand, I dove into my work benefits to figure something out, and I realized that... Um, my total compensation package is... Well, it's a lot better than anything I've had before, in terms of money. It's... Uh, it's a mixed feeling. Obviously, it's great to be paid better than I ever have been. But it also makes me feel more locked into this career and this place, because... It's finally "paying off." My husband and I have been talking about starting a family, but I told him that I don't see myself having children in a household with two working parents and no support.
This is deeply personal, and obviously income plays a role, too. Many American families cannot afford two working parents, because daycare costs more than one or both parents' salaries. In our case, I make less than my husband, but after taxes and contributing to retirement, daycare would cost about 45% of my remaining take home.
However.
On Friday, I asked a colleague who I just met how she was doing. She had dark bags under her eyes- the kind of thing written about in novels, but rarely seen in real life. And she replied, "Well, I haven't been able to stop working long enough to eat for a few days. I came home and my children were needy and we have a new puppy who was wrecking things and I just went in my room and shut the door and sobbed."
That was a bit intense for a first ever "how are you," but regardless... This is so many women I know, including my mother. I absolutely have seen involved and loving husbands/fathers, but I've seen more who work and then vanish into the mancave the rest of the time. I have a teammate who purposefully works from 1-7 PM to avoid his kids and inlaws, leaving childcare, food, and housework to his wife (and frankly, he made me do his work for half a year until I cracked and told my boss to remove me from working closely with him). My husband is a gem who frankly takes care of me more than I take care of him, so I don't have to fear this, but...
Well, we don't have support. It would be us vs the world with a baby, and my country offers nothing to help families out. And, as we all know, the costs needed to live (housing, healthcare, education, food) are drastically rising.
I really do not know what the next steps in my life are, and I'm already at the point of "geriatric" pregnancy (mid thirties). Do I keep up with this challenging, interesting career that pays well, but is incredibly stressful? Do I have a child and give up the career? Do I try to do it all (two parents who work full time and a kid)? Will I end up like my colleague if I do that? Will giving up my job make me feel unfulfilled? Will the loss of income wreck me someday?
Stress, Creating, Self Care
So, like... I've been stressed, as you might notice. My ear started ringing, with varying intensity and pitch, so I couldn't sleep on Thursday night. Thankfully, it stopped after about 24-32 hours, because I was losing my mind! The internet listed stress as a cause, and... Yeah, I'm thinking it's that.
On top of this, my husband was away for work from Wednesday to Saturday, so I ran the house by myself and was on my own. I was slammed last week and did not have any mental juice to spare.
I haven't done much creatively in February. I can't get my brain to do it, but I'm also not really trying? Usually, when I'm not creating, Bad Things are happening. I'm not sure if I'm there or not, or if I just have other things going on right now? I am getting the sense that I need to do more for myself. I'm not... Sure... What that is, though.
I'm thinking exercise. I gained weight over the pandemic, and lately I feel physically and mentally lethargic. So... Eating better and exercise are probably what I should focus on right now?
I can never seem to keep the mental health, physical health, work, relationships, and chore balls in the air. I tend to drop the physical health ball most readily, which goes about as well as you'd imagine.
I'm hoping to figure out what fun stuff my husband and I might do this year. I need something to look forward to, because it's been so easy (tempting, even?) to feel overwhelmed by all the scary and uncertain things.
I have not been creating, and I have not been online much. Apologies for that. It's one of those "my cup is empty" periods, but I'm not in trouble. I'm just sort of... Looking at the empty cup and going, "Hmm. I should fill this, but, uh... How?" And also, "What kind of cup do I want in the future?"
I truly hope you're all taking care and holding on and finding ways to flourish. It's hard, man. I'm wishing you wellness, kindness, love, growth, support, and well-being. Thanks for caring about me <3
Love,
Hidden
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out of curiosity what was that reddit post you mentioned on the mcyt quadrants post? i don't really use reddit so i've never seen it, but i'm curious to see the specific comment that sparked your theory:0
It actually wasn't just one comment, it's ... kind of a mix of a lot of different factors.
The reddit post I was referring to is here.
Some examples of the negative comments toward the Scar/Grian/Mumbo team up:
"A lot of comments are talking about this, so maybe it’s more popular than I realized, but the “boys club” of Grian, Mumbo, and Scar kind of grosses me out and can feel pretty exclusionary." (this one imo is the worst one I saw for negativity)
"The Grian-Scar-Mumbo collaborations have gotten so overdone that I skip half of them these days."
"Oh, Grian-Mumbo-Scar need to collab less, they are pretty much taking up the spotlight."
"I really think he needs to collab with more people. I genuinely liked that he collabed with etho, cleo, stress, even zedaph in season 6 and 7. These are fun to watch and genuinely I want to see of them. However, I am tired of the near basing with mumbo and scar."
(There was also some general Grian negativity, but that's not relevant to my theory and one of those comments will definitely make me go on an unrelated tangent if I quote it here.)
The reddit thread actually got locked and there's a mod post addressing it here. On that post, they say the hermits contacted the mod team directly about the post, with one of them saying the following:
"The thread caused a lot of pain to Hermits. Especially to one in particular and that person is already having a rough time right now. At the end of day we are only human. Criticism and suggestions are always important and good to hear even if it’s tough. But that felt like a pile on. A lot of us are having a hard time right now and stuff like that can be very demoralizing."
As for my "Scar definitely saw the post", one reddit user tried to find a silver lining and see some positivity that came from the post, and Scar commented on the post with the following:
"I'm going to be 100% honest and say that thread did more harm than good, especially at the start of the season. I hope people keep in mind that no one is a robot and can take a pile on of negativity all at once and come out better. Suggestions and feedback are always important and good to hear even if it’s tough. But there's a way to do that and that thread was not it." [source]
I know that doesn't seem super pissed like I may have implied, but considering Scar's comments on the subreddit are usually super positive and happy, that comment is just huge shift in tone from his usual comments.
My final piece of "evidence," if you can call it that, for my theory are the dates:
Reddit post: March 14th 2022
Mumbo's last Hermitcraft video before his hiatus: May 15th 2022
Double Life begins June 17th 2022
But yeah, if you put Double Life in the context of that reddit post, I think Grian's scream of "NOOOO" when he was paired with Scar makes a lot more sense. If he created Double Life as a creative way of getting away from the default Grian/Scar/Mumbo team up and then his plan fell apart with the game pairing him with Scar, him being so upset makes a lot more sense.
#answered basically first thing in the morning so sorry for any typos#maddisandy#mcytblr#mcyt fandom meta
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back in your ask box!!! i watched your final thoughts for yakuza 1 video (well done on being able to stand some of the glitches like god) and i was wondering if you had any more that you forgot to say or didn’t think of in the moment? i just really love hearing people’s final thoughts on game or other piece of media
That video ended up getting WAY sappier than I expected in the end but I seriously should've seen it coming TBH. I'm a sappy person at heart and anyway let's not get too sidetracked.
So I will say I definitely forgot to mention the camera. Having no control over the camera does mess with me quite a bit. Because Kiryu will turn around and you'll notice in the videos I uploaded of fights-he sometimes just stops hitting enemies. They're gone. Lots of times enemies would get stuck behind wall and other objects. I was also constantly checking the map in the menu itself, because I kept getting directions mixed up.
Not a game breaker, does make for some intense awkwardness. (Some of it's my own fault, I am hardly the gaming champion around here ahaha)
Combat got repetitive. My own fault because as I said in the video, I didn't finish Komaki's training thanks to the input issue. I had other skills I developed too, but I wasn't ever remembering to pull it off. So I didn't vary it to the degree I could've.
At the ending, I was going to finish the hostesses but I messed myself up there because you have Haruka permanently in the endgame. And her bond with Kiryu decreases if he goes to those places (it dropped when I bought weapons at Beam) and I feel bad making her sad so that was my own issue.
There is one place where the original game is better than Kiwami that is..going to probably be a 'hot take' but-not having Majima ambush you every twenty seconds makes for a less stressful game experience overall. You can get from point A to point B with only the standard street goons (which are VERY persistent you can barely get around the block without at least two ambushes: and they have bigger enemies that are in larger groups) but those fights are fairly quick, and pay well!
Majima, meanwhile, can seriously drag out. It's not as bad in the beginning but you'll come up to the end of Kiwami like "please..just one break..I do not have any more healing items."
For RGG'S first game out of the gate, it's good. I enjoyed it more than I expected too. It's all the same elements I love with Yakuza (as I had sapped about in the video) and the characters are recognizable, even in this rougher around the edges stage.
The dub itself is a strange point. As I said, again in the video, I've done some digging on it. The localization is considered decent, (apparently 'hit some balls' is translated as accurately as it could be) but that excessive swearing really shoves it into the 'trying to hard B movie' stuff. HOWEVER.
It has a GOOD cast and there's times where it's done really well. I don't have the kind of professional experience to claim someone is 'phoning in a performance'. I can't make that call. Not all line deliveries are very good, and there's some odd changes between how characters talk from beginning to end. There was one point near the end where Kiryu delivered a couple lines and sounded like a completely different person?? It was odd.
Directing is where it really shows. I feel like with the voices behind it, and the localization team, had it been given better directing, it would've been a bit I guess. stronger? I feel it's important to keep in mind too with it being the first game (and RGG wasn't some triple A studio back in the day either) they did pretty good.
;)
The games good! It's fun, it's recognizable. and I honestly think that if I had gone into Yakuza with this as my first game, I'd still be here. I got into Yakuza via Yakuza 0 and have since gone through the entire series. It's very important and special to me and I genuinely enjoyed Yakuza 1 more than I expected.
I didn't anticipate hating it, of course. But I was still a little surprised regardless since it is so infamous in the fandom. My only regret is that unless you own a PS2 or a really good emulator, so many people can't play it. Which is a shame overall. That's not unique to this and Kiwami, the remake is out there and known. But still. Sometimes I get a little sad about how hard game preservation has gotten.
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Hey I'm still alive, just have been having a lotta mental and physical health stuff going on. I did finally decide on some names for the characters, though! As well as a bit of personalities!
---
The wand user is named Ethel Hart. Xe works very hard at school, and xir biggest fear is being seen as a failure. Xe works a bit too hard to avoid that, which may eventually cause burnout. Xe doesn't have a special interest, but rather, cycles through sort-term hyperfixations on various nonfiction topics to read about. As such, if xir memory is functioning right, xe has approximate knowledge of several things. Buuuut xe has an issue of getting facts mixed up in xir head sometimes due to swapping interests so often.
For example, xe can tell you some fun facts about spiders if you encounter one, buuuut xe might forget which ones are poisonous. Perhaps the three are fighting a snake monster. Are its bites poisonous? Was it round or diamond heads that have pois- whoops too late, Chrissy got bit. Guess Ethel'll find out which it was soon enough.
Xe lives in a college dorm as xe desperately tries to figure out what xe wants to major in for xir bachelor's degree. There's so many choices! There's so much stuff to learn! Deciding on just one stresses xir out.
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Bear arms/hands user is Christina "Chrissy" Robinson. She is mute, and uses an AAC device to communicate with others. She does know sign language, but only really uses it at home when she doesn't have her AAC with her, such as if it's dead or she left it on the couch when going to grab some food.
She lives with her sister, Pauline (Polly), who acts as her caregiver and helps her out whereever she can. Their mom is a doctor, and isn't home a lot. She pays Polly to help care for Chrissy since Chrissy has trouble with certain things. The two girls have only recently moved to town to be closer to their mom's workplace.
I'm thinking I might have Chrissy's dyspraxia be rough. Like... She has difficulty balancing when going up and down steps, trouble gripping small objects like forks and pencils and such, and she tends to either drop things or grasp them too hard. She also tends to fall a lot, if not careful.
I'm flip flopping between weather or not she minds eye contact, but anyway,
Due to her dyspraxia she has difficulty doing certain things like cooking, cleaning, bathing, and other things. Her sister helps her as needed, and Chrissy also has some devices and tools that help her out. For example, a spoon with a thick handle that's easier for her to grasp, with a mechanism to help itself stay balanced even if her hand goes shakey. I'm not sure what else though! If anyone has ideas, let me know. Perhaps a cane would be helpful? Idk. My dyspraxia isn't that severe, so I'd like to hear some from those who struggle with it more than me!
As for Christina's personality, she's sarcastic, blunt, and she's a bit abrasive when it comes to interacting with new people. She doesn't trust easily. Growing up she was bullied a lot and had some friends betray her trust, so now she's a bit standoffish with new people as a sort of defense mechanism. Friends can't betray you if you have none, right? People can't attack your insecurities if you hide them behind enough false confidence, right?
She read the words "fake it til you make it" and she FELT that shit. In junior year of high school, she started closing herself off, whilst putting on a show of false confidence. She began insulting people back when they made fun of her, and eventually they seemed to shut up and stop bothering her. So that's been her strategy for the last few years.
As such, she might be a bit of an asshole at the start. It'll take some work for her to open up to working with the other two. Knowing her she'd probably try to go it alone several times and get her ass kicked hard a few times before begrudgingly admitting she needs their help.
Maybe as she befriends them and slowly lets them into her heart, she'll realize that not everyone will betray her and that she can trust people again.
I'd say her biggest fear is being all alone. As much as she intentionally tries to drive people away so that they can't hurt her, she's also fucking terrified of being fully alone. She wants people to love and trust, but she feels like it could just lead to more pain. And yet... She doesn't want to be alone.
As for Zaps, I'm still working on her personality and her whole name, but I'm thinking she'll try out "Hannah" first
#autistic magical girl#nd magical girl#autistic magical girls#magical girl#magical girls#actuallydisabled#actually disabled#actually neurodivergent#actuallyautistic#actually autistic#actually adhd
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Then there’s the conversation about Wilbur’s life at the palace. This one is mainly lead by Niki. There’s some more of Tommy’s protectiveness cuz he wants her to back off not realizing that Wilbur has made a mentality switch. And damn is that switch interesting. Also, well executed. The story has been building towards this. Wilbur has spent so long stressing about pleasing Clara and trying his hardest to follow all the rules. He feels like he’s constantly messing up and she has to be mad at him. And now he broke the most important rule. So does it really matter of he breaks more? She has to hate him by now. So what difference would it make?
It would get people off his back. In his mind, he’s past the point of no return. Which is good for plot progression because it now means that he’ll start spilling some stuff which allows the other characters to learn more about him and how fucked up his life has been. Which should lead to empathy. So that’s very good. It also means Wilbur can start talking about his trauma, which means he can start processing. The healing process has begun. Both by Phil’s words and Techno accidentally pushing too far. Then Niki adds another layer of food for thought by stating that Wilbur has value as a person. And of course Tommy’s been there the entire time too, slowly working his way through the dehumanization and touch starvation.
Tommy is also very protective still. He’s very clearly not happy about Niki and Jack asking questions. There are a few options. 1. It’s a very sudden shift from how Wilbur used to be so he’s not sure Wilbur actually wants to talk about it. 2. He knows how hard Wilbur panicked and doesn’t want that to happen again. 3. He’s very cautious of people pushing Wilbur because Techno pushed way too far and it caused this whole mess. 4. Possesiveness. Tommy likes being the only one who understands Wilbur and wants to keep it that way. The last one is very unlikely and of it’s there probably mostly a subconscious motivation.
There’s also Tommy making Niki back off. Both from asking questions, because Wilbur is clearly getting upset but pushing through it, and from physically touching Wilbur, because touch starved ness and she didn’t ask if touch was okay. Possible also because touch is a Wilbur and Tommy thing and he doesn’t want to share.
The last note I want to make about this part is Tommy providing emotional support via physical touch and Wilbur actively seeking it out and bringing Tommy closer. The codependency is comming in strong.
(4/4)
-🌲
YEAHHHH finally a mentality switch has happened!! it took a long time but now that he's reached the point of "well clara already hates me so what does it matter" we're finally going to see him talking about a lot more stuff. very glad we finally got there.
tommy is extremely protective of wilbur during the conversation, and like i said in one of your earlier asks, I wanted to highlight his possessiveness in this chapter as well. his reasoning for why he's so protective is a mix of all the things you said, including him wanting to stay as the main person who understands wilbur. it's subconscious, but it's there. one part of it is that in most of his relationships, tommy is the one being taken care of and protected. mainly with phil and techno, but tubbo has a tendency to do the same thing as well. so it's new territory for tommy to actually be needed by someone else. so yeah, a lot of it is his own possessiveness to an almost childish degree. we see this with him pushing niki's hands away, because it's like you said—touch is a wilbur and tommy thing and he doesn't want to share. again, this is more subconscious than anything, but yeah. the codependency is really starting to show itself now
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I hope everyone’s enjoying a Happy New Year! :D I dunno why, but I feel like I should post something.
I’ve been in a positively foul mood for the last 24 hours...I chalk it up to pre-menstrual nonsense mixed with the fact that being on vacation all week (i.e. stuck in my house with ALL my family members on a daily basis) is starting to get to me. 6__6;;
Maybe things will change once I finally get my own place (which I’m currently working on with my realtor, and when it does happen you WILL know) but historically I can’t just...be left to my own devices and do art ALL the time. I get cabin-fever, I need to do more than just go out for food and groceries; I need another regular multi-hour activity to do besides my personal work. If I ever became rich and didn’t need my day job anymore, I’d probably start doing volunteer work again or go back to school; I gotta have something...
Anyway, now I’m in a better mood; a reflective mood...2022 was an interesting year~. I started a new YouTube channel that’s actually going pretty well, I learned a lot about animation thanks to those two AniChall entries-- seriously, they were stressful and insane and the whole time I was working on them I was filled with guilt about all the other stuff I should’ve been doing instead, but I really did learn SO much. I honestly think they’re the main reason I’m now able to consider pursuing animation seriously in the future. It’s not just a nebulous possibility anymore, I am good and I can get better.
Let’s see, what else...I started a new job, I got my first RSI...Twitter imploded, DeviantArt continued its death throes...I threw a Halloween party, I started doing yoga, I bought a Switch, I’m actually kind of good at Splatoon (more on that later)...I’m mostly focusing on the late-year stuff because my memory sucks, but I’m sure there were lots of other notable events. ^^;
I don’t really do New Year’s resolutions anymore (I stopped after 2020...) but I do have overarching goals...I think this year I’d like to keep getting better at illustrating, I’d like to finally finish some of the novels I’ve been writing, I’d like to put even more energy towards my animation work and the DokiDraws channel and see what comes of them, I’d like to buy a house and finally fulfill the promise I made to my Magolor plush so long ago. XD And I’d just generally like to have more happy moments, and see more good things in the world.
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KinnPorsche Week 2022-Day 6: Favorite Location
So, my choice for favorite location is the Kittisawat home (pic from @colourme-feral ; link):
And now in a shocking twist here is my rambling discourse about why this is my favorite location.
So, as mentioned before, I was not raised in a well-to-do household, the reality is that my family was never even considered middle class during my childhood (This is specific to America, so there's probably going to be some differences for non-American readers). But the general idea is that we lived in a nice house, but it was never renovated or updated, it still has the original 1964 teal bathroom even (because it still worked so why would we change it?). But anyway, because of my own life experience, I kind of can't relate to many of the other locations in the show. The safe house and minor family residence get closer, because they're far more personal, and I've been to a bar that has a similar vibe to Yok's, but outside of that there's not much for me to personally connect to. The major family compound is a mix of a residence and a business, decorated/furnished practically, but not with a great deal of personality (outside of Tankhun's room).
Returning to my original point, the Kittisawat home has far more personality than many of the other locations. It's warm, and vaguely shabby, and reflects the life of Porsche and Porchay , at least to me, but y'all know how I like to over analyze. I wasn't sure how I was going to structure this, but I think I'll focus on the main sections of the house we see, and we'll start with the exterior.
So the house itself is lovely, and clearly would be out of reach as a residence for Porsche and Porchay if it wasn't their family home. The set decoration of the home exterior is simple, with furniture that's practical as well as worn down. Pieces bought many years ago, and just due to their quality are still in good usable condition. I like that they've set multiple seating areas on the exterior, having a dining table outside of the patio door, the concrete table in the yard, and then the swing as well. For night shots, the inclusion of the string lights gives lovely atmosphere while also being something that would be fairly cheap, since the expectation is for us to believe that Porsche and Chay hung them up. From what you see the yard is vaguely unkempt, certainly not left to grow wild, but it gives the impression that it's something Porsche might forget to do until it starts to get a little crazy, because really why would that be at the top of his list.
Moving inside we have the Living Room
Again we've got nice, fairly basic, and sturdy furniture. The space isn't overly styled, and through the season you see different furniture pieces moved around inside the space, which I find very nice. There is always a concern of continuity from take to take, but I always find it a bit strange if nothing ever moves in a show. As for decor/clutter, there are pieces from their parents, and match what we see during the finale flashback scenes, and some other decor from those scenes is gone in the present. But that gives an amount of believeable continuity to the story of the series. Over the past 10-15 years some stuff would have been packed away, moved to other spaces, broken, possibly sold since we know there's financial stress. Homes that are lived in don't stay the same, so it would be far more odd to see the house still exactly matching the past. One sweet touch you see in the space is a framed photo of Porsche and Porchay, that you actually see Apo and Barcode take in one of the behind the scenes videos (episode 12).
Next location is the Kitchen:
A lot of the same themes from the rest of the house repeat here. Simple, good quality, but a slightly outdated feel, and the kitchen is no different. The newest things we see in the house are probably the fridge (and the flat screen tv in the living room), but other than that the whole kitchen looks like it could be 30 years old. It's serviceable, fairly clean, and gives a lived in feel. The set design with the condiments and spices just grouped on the counter next to the stove, the dishes still in the drying rack, they give more of that lived-in homey feel that we don't see a lot in the other residences.
Now on to our last location, Chay's room:
Chay's room is one of the most interesting, but sadly we don't get a whole lot of time there. I love the behind the scenes stuff for the show, but I would love entire eps with the set designer and the costume designer. Like I just love that shit. Back to my point. This is the only personal space we see in their home, everywhere else is communal space. Yes there are personal items, but not to the extent we see in Chay's room. Again, the designer's done a great job fitting the space to the occupant, there's posters hanging, but they're hung with tape, we have the string lights. There's the oddly placed bookshelf in the doorway, which appears weird, there's no where else to put it. It would block the light switch and crowd the bed if you had it on the wall to the right, and it's exactly the type of shit a 17/18 year old would do. I imagine Porsche picked it up wanting to have somewhere for Chay to put his awards and stuff, but wasn't considering whether it would fit in the space, and they just made it work. There's also a nice passage of time-continuity to the space, with some toys, the stack of cds, the sort of layering the bookshelves, that indicate that as things become less used, other things get placed in front of them. This again brings more realism to the space, and makes it feel familiar to the viewer. Like, we don't have the stories behind each item, but the characters are presented in a way where we could guess. Additionally with the layering, on the WiK wall we see pictures layered over each other, which for me really sells it. Technically we know that the set designer and dresser would have been handed a bunch of these pictures to put up, and our instinct would be to put them up in a more ordered manner, but they're meant to have been added over a couple of years. Chay would have gotten them from magazines, or printed them out and stuck them up kind of wherever they fit. I also love that there's not just WiK, but other music-based pictures and art.
My closing statements---the lighting and cinematography!
I've talked in previous posts about how beautiful the cinematography of the series is, and it's truly gorgeous. In relation to the Kittisawat home, it's always presented in a warm golden light. Every other location we visit more than once is colorgraded differently based on the emotion of the scene. But even in the flashback scenes of the death of Porsche and Chay's father, when told from each perspective, that warm golden tone is still there. By choosing to light the space the way they have they're adding onto that feeling of homey-ness and comfort. They've built this space where essentially everyone who steps into feels that warm comfort, and they've made it look incredibly simple, but I am CERTAIN that it was a lot of work. Especially for a space where they spend relatively little time over the course of the season.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed my thoughts about this topic. 1,300 words and about 3 hours worth of screen-capping and writing. Definitely worth it. Hmm....what should your reward gif be today??? How about...
#kpweek2022#day 6#favorite location#kittisawat home#porsche kittisawasd#porchay kittisawasd#kinnporsche#kinnporsche the series
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hey there, milky way anon back after almost a year 🌌
a lot of stuff has happened since last december, i had a therapist for a while although i kind of lost touch after i was away over the summer holidays, a very toxic relationship happened for something over a month (i ended up there because i struggled with saying no), my other important relationship is still committed and holding up, i've reconnected a lot with a person who i got to know a few years ago and then promptly lost touch with because it left school and i didn't have its number back then, and who apparently had some very serious medical issues in between then and now so i'm glad it's still alive and around, and especially that i've motivated it to join the team with whom i play my most favorite absurd sport with.
i've also worked a lot on myself, and come to terms with some stuff concerning sexuality and relationships.
i've found (at least) two people who i really look up to, one of them i know personally and he'd probably be overwhelmed if he knew how much of a positive kind of father figure he's become for me ever since i first met him last march despite us only meeting every few months (he does the same sport but in a different team but we've played a bunch of tournaments in the same mixed team recently) and i've learnt a lot of stuff from him, on one hand things related to the sport (i learnt how to play an entirely new position just from him at the few tournaments we've met at and he's been a real pleasure to play that position with and he's probably one of the people who i play the best and easiest with), and the other is a celebrity who just shares a lot of my mindsets and opinions on things and has had to work through a lot of things similar to what i'm going through/went through and how he's handled that is definitely helping get a lot of new insights
honestly just thinking about it those two people have probably done more good things for my psyche in that year than my parents have in my life as far back as i can remember, especially when it comes to general kind of wisdoms, which are offered without heaps of judgement and non-constructive criticism first and are a lot more understandable, applicable and down-to-earth than what my parents would give me
i've also noticed in that time that i stutter, and that i do it a lot and that it's mostly because my mouth can't keep up with my thoughts, because they are too fast and mostly a strange linguistic mashup of english, german and whatever else. i've also noticed that it's a thing my parents like to make fun of.
and yes, seasonal depression is a bitch and i would not wish this fall i had on anybody but i am fighting back hard this time, surrounding myself with people who i share a mutual respect with and whose company i enjoy. i think i've learnt a lot about myself and my emotional needs and how i can fulfill them better to give this fall's depressive phases a lot less ground to stand on
and lastly, i am now in my last year of school, i think overall i have probably around 15 weeks of school left until finals and graduation which i am really excited but also very stressed and anxious about. especially because i'm terrified of the future because i never expected myself to get that far and actually have one and going on to the end of school i need to start planning what i'll do afterwards
thank you a lot for existing, thank you for taking the time and spoons to read through all those asks you're receiving and carefully replying to them, thank you for being someone i can appreciate and respect as much as i do
Hi again!!! Thank you so much for your kind words. I'm glad to be here and to be able to help 🥰
I really hope your graduation went well! And I hope the future feels a little bit less scary now. It's really common to feel that way when you've gone through trauma as a kid and teen. I personally also used to think I'd never make it past 18. It can be incredibly hard to build a life that you never planned to live, and to find your footing and feel like you're in control instead of spiralling wildly and always tripping over your own feet. But it really does get better with time. I'm rooting for you, nonnie ❤️
I'm glad to hear you've found some role models that help you navigate life and learn new things. I think the fact that abused and neglected teens still need safe adults and role models and tend to look for them outside of the house isn't talked about enough. It can go well if they find adults who are actually safe and want what's best for them, or if they find celebrities or even fictional characters to rely on. But with real people it can sometimes go badly, because they can take advantage or they can put space between you, which can feel like parental abandonment all over again. I hope these role models have continued to have a positive impact in your life!
Also, I'm so glad you managed to reconnect with an old friend, and that it was okay! What it went through sounds pretty scary :(
You don't deserve for your parents to make fun of you for stuttering. That's not okay. And I'm so glad you've been able to listen to your emotional needs and meet them. That's not always an easy thing to accomplish, and you really deserve to be proud of yourself for that.
Sending a big hug your way. Hope things are going well! ❤️
#Ask#Milky way anon#toxic relationship#medical issues tw#illness tw#Neglectful parents#Bad parenting#toxic parents#abusive parents#Emotional abuse tw#depression tw#Trauma tw#Child abuse tw
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Hello hello! Ive been gone a while. Lots of things have happened, and I'm still in the thick of my final year project, but it's (mostly) coming to an end mid-Feb! Thought Id do a little post (mainly for me and the 4 followers I have) on my current WIPs Ive picked up, and what I plan to be doing. Personal update under the Read More.
First of all, I have like a million art and fic WIPs related to Immortal Desires and Perfect Match 2. No biggie, I just have... lots and lots of thoughts about Poly!PM MC and Poly!ID MC. Yes, this means I do have a fix-it fic about how that end of book confession goes... maybe even a rewrite of the entire last chapter... but hold that thought!
Now that I'm a little bit more versed in Twinery (see second point below for why), I'm a little bit tempted to make my rewrite interactive as well. Just text tho lol, but either way, an ending rewrite is a ways away, and also I kinda wanna wait till Bk2 is released to really start working on it.
(I didn't realise ID was GOC so you bet I binged it within three fuckin days when I did. It's a bloody amazing book. I also finally finished my playthrough of PM2, so that explains why these books are giving me immense brainrot.)
SECONDLY, 'A Date with Bryce Lahela' is about halfway done! I'm not exactly sure if I've ever shared the idea publicly to the fandom, but this is the basic gist of it: Date is an attempt on my end of trying to recreate those TF Date Specials, but with the one and only Bryce Lahela. Cool, right? Unfortunately, it's only in text format, bc I'm learning Twinery Harlowe.
What's left of Date? When can I play it/a demo?
Pronoun choices, smut scenes and equipment variations, a whole activity is uncoded, trackable achievements, load/save functionality, and after that it's just making sure the whole damn thing works. As for a demo... ;)
..
...
Joking. The entire predicted gameplay is short enough to not really need a demo, so there won't be a public one. I aim to have this done by, god, hopefully end of the year? This damn thing's been sitting in my WIPs for two whole years, so I would really like it done and over with, haha, but it's a lot of work for one person.
THIRD, I have a 1.2k word rewrite of Foreign Affairs Ch12 Tatum diamond scene that has been in the making, and rotting away in my WIPs, since 2 April 2021. Honest to god, it's a little bit of a vent fic, and I've been slowly chipping away at it whenever I've been stressed. The rewrite isn't because I see the scene as bad, but I do wish there was a liiiiiittle more hurt/comfort in it lol.
FOURTH, well... I have a few Bryce x M!MC smut fics that, uh, really should be finished and see the light of day. Or, at least escape the WIP folder and experience the cool damp corner of my tumblr blog.
So, that's my WIPs so far! Personal stuff under the read more.
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My 3D animation final year project wraps up a couple of weeks before my graduation. I knew the workload was going to be larger than what I've had with my previous 2D animation projects, but boy it really hits different when you're actually working on it. I won't go into it too detailed, but if you're curious, feel free to ask about it!
My 2023 started off as a... mixed bag. Low lows and high highs, I guess. Won't go into it, but yeah, not great.
Me having Date in semi-working condition is purely because of a NYE group gift exchange and my hubris at making a working product within 2 weeks. It was... yeah, no, I've been humbled, but man was the result such an endorphin rush.
I've also got really into making custom content for The Sims 4, so that's where the bulk of my free time went, really. I'm active in a few TS4 discord servers, so if you see mothy-simmie, say hi :P
#aaron speaks#my ask box is open#if you wna. yknow. send something#tbh it's perpetually open lol#anon is on if youre curious
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