#farm boy stan marsh
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Craig is a simp and you cant change my mind
Tolkien : buddy you need to tone it down, it's honestly getting creepy
Craig : what do you want from me? I just think he looks good.
Tolkien : I want you to stop stalking Tweek! You're literally dating him already!
Bonus :
Stan has game (?) and Tolkien is the only one with any situational awareness
#south park#south park headcanons#south park tweek#south park fanart#south park craig#craig tucker#sp creek#creek#craig x tweek#aged up#aged up characters#tolkien black#sp tolkien#south park tolkien#emo stan marsh#stan marsh#south park stan#farm boy stan marsh#sp craig#stan x tweek#sp steek#steek#tweak tweek#sp tweek#tweek tweek#tweek tweak#tweek is my comfort character#my south park blorbo
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hello! If you aren't busy, I was wondering if you could please draw Tolkien and Stan hanging out at the farm? A little silly but I just think it'd be cute. Also, I absolutely love your art! Your style is literally so cute I get so happy whenever I see your art!!
IM SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY IN FINALIZING THIS DRAWING!!!!!! I appreciate so much your kind words!! I hope you like the final product since I loved your request <333
#tegridy farms#stan marsh#token black#south park#comission#request#sp fanart#south park fanart#fanart#art#digital art#BACKGROUND UGH#sparky sp#boys being boys#artists on tumblr#my art
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STANLEY “STAN” MARSH (24yo)
Son of a Randy Marsh, a farmer, and Sharon Marsh, housewife and women’s suffragist. He mainly earns his money working as a ranch hand at his father’s farm where they grow and raise their own crops and cattle. However, due to his resentment towards his father Stan often wanders far away from his home, usually ending with him running with some shady people, such as his good friend Kenny McCormick and his band of outlaws.
When he was younger he quickly got tired of earning his money as a ranch hand, so naturally he aimed for the more violent type of work the world had to offer, such as bounty hunting and occasionally offered his services as a hired gun, earning him the outlaw status. Nowadays he claims that the whole outlaw fiasco is way too exhausting and risky and settled on the simpler things in life, such as whiskey. Every now and then he rustles sheep and cattle for his father.
In our story he recently fell in with Kyle Broflovski, the rich boy that everyone in town is looking for. He promised him he wouldn’t leave his side no matter what, and that he will try his best to protect him from the authorities. Often times he doubts his ability to do so but refuses to back down from the challenges that come with his newfound life.
#south park#homeward bound#sp au#sp cowboy au#stan marsh#sp fanart#fanart#style#sp style#character intro#kyle broflovski#yaoi#official content#alternate universe#randy marsh#introduction
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🇹🇭🇪 🇼🇦🇾 🇼🇪 🇸🇭🇴🇼 🇴🇺🇷 🇱🇴🇻🇪 🇹🇴 🇴🇹🇭🇪🇷🇸
synopsis: what i think the main three boy's love languages would be (giving + receiving)
characters: stan, kyle, kenny
date written: 08/02/24
warnings: n/a
stan marsh
giving: quality time + physical affection
i feel like at times stan just wants to give you his undivided attention and not have to focus on the troubles of the world outside. like his dad, his sister, the farm. but all those worries disappear as soon as he can just spend time with you. you guys don’t even have to be doing anything; you could just be cuddling in silence, and he would still be comforted by knowing you’re still with him, and he can give you every ounce of the love he has for you. he also loves holding you in his arms after a long day and just listening to you talk or the sound of your breathing. he loves to pepper your face with kisses. he also loves to cuddle, so if you ever feel even a little upset, he’s got you.
receiving: words of affirmation + physical affection
there are days where stan doesn’t even have enough energy to get out of bed in the morning, which are the days where he needs your comfort the most. just hearing even the basic stuff like ‘i love you’ or ‘you are a good person’ would send chills down his spine because he was actually being treated like a human, and not a useless punching bag by his sister or as a walking campaign by his dad. at times, stan is just so used to being alone that he feels uneasy being so close to you, but he really, really doesn't want to let anytime soon, it was too late anyways. he already loved you too much.
kyle broflovski
giving: acts of service + quality time
kyle appreciates any time he has with you, even if it is doing school work together. he never finds the silence to be awkward, and doesn’t feel it necessary to fill the air with words. only sounds are of the pencil kyle is using scratching softly on his notebook and the click-clacking of the laptop kyle let you borrow because you forgot yours at home. which brings me to my next topic, acts of service. imagine you’re in class and you forgot your pencil, don’t worry kyle’s got a spare. you don’t like olives on you pizza? kyle is happy to scrape them off for you. didn’t want to bring a jacket and now you’re about to die of pneumonia? kyle to the rescue, but straight after he’ll give you a long lecture about how he was right and you should have listened to him and brought your jacket. but it's okay because he does that out of love as well.
receiving: words of affirmation + acts of service
kyle can get insecure; sometimes the guy’s words get to him. like the time he got voted the worst looking in the class. that hurt him big time so having you just say something like ‘i like your nose’ or ‘i think your hair is cute’ can make quite the difference. he also doesn’t mind letting you see him without his hat, because he trusts you wouldn’t go out of your way to hurt him and after a while of dating he might even let you touch it. as much as kyle does love doing things for you here and there he also would like the same done for him. he likes the idea of knowing you care about him and his feelings just as much as he cares about you. if he’s sick, he knows he can trust you to take notes for him so he can copy them or you could bring him some soup. it could be anything even if it’s small he doesn’t care. as long as he knows you care.
kenny mccormick
giving: physical affection + acts of service
now, we all know kenny is a very physical person, who loves rather sensual physical things but he also loves to just cuddle you after a bad day or just holding hands. he also loves kissing you, wether or not that leads to something more is up to you. he is also pretty cool with pda, as long as you’re comfortable of course. he gets handsy too; he might slip his hand in your back pocket or he’ll gently scratches your back and run his fingers through your hair, caressing your cheeks. He could also would wrap him and you in his parka while just rubbing your back.
speaking of his parka, he let’s you borrow it if you get cold. but before he does he would drown it in the cologne he ‘borrowed’ from stan. he would also get you flowers that reminded him of you from the park. since kenny doesn’t have alot of money and he would want to spoil you if he did, acts of service is the next best thing for him as he can still treat you the way you deserve to be treated. he could take out the trash for you if he saw that you didn’t like doing it or taking care of you when you’re sick even if he gets sick because he’s more worried about you. when he gathers a few bucks, he might even buy you a energy bar with chocolate in it. but whatever he does or gets for you just know that he does it with all the love in his heart for you and just you.
receiving: physical affection + gift giving
as much as kenny loves kissing you and touching you, he loves knowing that you actually like doing those things even more. kenny just wants the same he gives out. he’s pretty touch starved, even just a simple kiss on the cheek is enough to make his day. he also loves being held and kissed and cuddled just as he does to you. he gets pretty clingy because he gets lonely, the only people he has to talk to at home is karen. his parents are out drinking and his brother is doing only god knows what in his room with his friends. kenny wants to feel loved, and wants to feel like he's in a loving relationship with someone who truly cares for him. he wants to be held and kissed, and to feel like he's actually important to someone.
kenny might not have money, but he appreciates the small things. seeing you spend money on him and being excited to give him anything you buy makes him happy. he understands the value of everything and appreciates it. and it doesn’t even have to be things you bought, it could be something you made specifically for him, especially if it involves cooking, like homemade cookies or cakes or something more personal, like a picture or drawing. he isn’t really picky, but he is very grateful to have someone like you in his life and just hopes you feel the same about him.
a/n: it took me 3 days to write this but i can’t tell if it’s shitty or not.
#south park hcs#south park x reader#stan marsh x reader#kyle broflovski x reader#kenny mcormick x reader#south park#writing#my writing#x reader#gender neutral reader#stan marsh#kyle broflovski#kenny mccormick#marjorineirlwrites#chayungwrites#love language
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Stan Marsh
26 y.o (He/Him)
Soul Synergy: Anything you write on your skin will appear on your soulmate.
Headcanons:
◇ Worked on his father's farm for years, while he didn't want to he stayed for his mom
◇ Shelly moved out and left South Park for a different college. The two aren't close, but they're better than when he was a kid.
◇ He works part-time at the university radio station with Jimmy.
》 Jimmy does most of the commentary, Stan will pitch it sometimes, but he leaves most of the talking to him. Stan is in charge of the music
◇ He has snuck some of Crimson Dawn on air and did the same for Timmy's band. Jimmy doesn't care, but he gives Stan a hard time about it.
◇ Going to college on a sports scholarship, to no one's surprise
》 The surprise came when he almost lost it all.
◇ He struggled heavily with alcoholism when he first moved out of his parents house
◇ Used to go out night after night, being invited to parties and hang out events
◇ It didn't seem like a problem until he woke up with vomit in his hair and had no memory of the last three days.
》 His hair used to be longer but he decided to cut it after that.
◇ It takes the other three to help snap him out of it, not just Kyle.
◇ After that he went and got help, of course the other three had his back. Kyle helped him find the support groups needed around campus. Kenny spread the word of keeping alcohol away from Stan, and Cartman enforced it.
◇ They have a system when they go to parties or out to eat with him. Kenny will give everyone the warning, do not offer him alcohol. Not as a joke, it's not funny. Wanna flirt with him, buy him something else. If you invite him to a party, have some fucking sodas or juice.
◇ Cartman is the next step if for some reason you don't decide to listen. Absolutely embarrasses the person, socially tears them apart. We all know he's very good at turning a crowd on people.
◇ Kyle is the big guns, he lives with Stan. He's his best friend. His super best friend, and he'll be damned if he lets anything happen to him. Kyle's not afraid to let the person know just how small they are and will throw hands if need be.
》 Luckily, it hasn't gotten that far. Most people stop at Cartman.
◇ Stan has worked very hard since then to keep himself clean. He's cut alcohol out completely because he knows how easy it is to slip back into it.
◇ When he feels himself slipping again or tempted, he goes to the gym. He writes a song, goes for a jog, bugs someone with board games, does literally anything to keep his mind off it.
》 His last resort is smoking a cigarette, Kyle doesn't like it, but it's better than the alternative
◇ Stan was able to keep his scholarship but it took a lot of work, and a lot of dedication.
◇ The necklace was a gift from the three boys after Stan's second year clean. They all wrote something up on each line and had Kenny carve it in.
》 Kyle: I'm proud of you man. Keep it up, or I'll kick your ass. -SB
》 Kenny: I am always a call away. I've got you Stan, I love you handsome.
》 Cartman: Don't be fucking stupid. I'm the only one who gets to ruin your life.
(Cartman took up some of Kyle's line. It makes Stan smile everytime he sees it)
◇ It's incredibly corny and off brand for him but he never takes it off, that necklace means everything to him.
◇ He's still the quarterback on the team, and the pressure sometimes gets to him.
◇ He plays basketball with Kyle sometimes, but he's not a fan of getting his ankles rolled all the time so he only does it when he needs to get Kyle to relax
◇ His depression is still there, it never really goes away, but he's got a better understanding of it
◇ Goes to a proper doctor and gets the help he needs. After a few therapist visits, he gets a prescription for it and now here he is.
◇ Since Kenny and Karen live so close Karen helps remind him to take his meds. She leaves him little snacks with every pills.
》 Skittles one day, M&Ms another, Cashews, and then a Reese's cup at the end of the week (I just like the idea of the group adopting Karen, but she adopts them back ya know?)
◇ No one else knows about this, Stan's a bit embarrassed by it but he finds it adorable that she's trying
◇ It makes him want to be better. So he works hard to keep a routine and a method.
◇ When he feels like he hates himself, he showers
◇ When he feels like he hates other people, he needs to eat
◇ When he feels withdrawal or if he's tired, he needs water.
◇ Has a special water bottle that Gary got him.
◇ Begs Kyle to go to the gym with him, he can't go alone he needs his buddy!
》 They end up making it a game. Who can push the other one to giving up.
》 Kyle does a certain number in a set, well Stan does one more. Stan runs for a certain amount of time on the treadmill, well Kyle runs faster and longer.
》 They pay for it in the morning but it's worth it
◇ Was the forever DM in his board game nights. He has all the D&D books, most of them are those special covered ones
◇ The local comic book store knows him well, and they save a book for him when they come out
◇ He still paints minis, for Christmas one year he got everyone's characters! Hand painted them and gave them out
》 He was so proud. And then Kenny lost his character the next session
》 Kenny's character is on the shelf near his books. Forever immortalized next to the players guide
◇ On days where everyone can't make it they play test a different system
◇ Wild Talents -> Superheros
◇ Deadlands -> Cowboys
◇ Traveler -> Sci-fi
◇ Red Market -> Zombie Apocalypse
◇ When Stan finally finishes his campaign and Kyle takes over, it takes him a minute to shift back into being a player! (I'm projecting)
◇ He has Wendy and Nichole over, of course! They can't make it all the time (Nichole has her own campaign that Stan's a part of and Wendy is a busy little lady), so they guest star!
◇ Gets together with Nichole and they plot ways to bully their players. (Rip Kenneth)
》 If people don't feel like playing TTRPGS he's got plenty of board games! (Honestly dude I can go on forever about this. I'm big time projecting, so I'm gonna end it here.)
◇ Stan loves his messenger bag, its got more patches in it then just the deftones on the side
◇ Collects band patches like a punk does for their jackets
◇ Anytime he goes to a local band gig he buys a patch (support local artists)
◇ Of course he has his guitar. Even if I didn't draw it!
◇ Cherry red guitar that he babies, he loves his guitar more then anything else he owns.
◇ Kyle got it for him when they both graduated high-school, it means the world to him
◇ His case for it has seen better days, most of the scratches are covered in stickers people have slapped on it.
◇ Honestly, he's got like one or two that he put on
◇ It's a game around the university: Get a Sticker on Marsh's Case
》 Craig's in the lead.
◇ Like Kyle does with Stan's inhaler. Stan carries insulin in his messenger bag for Kyle.
》 He knows Kyle doesn't pay attention to himself and lets his blood sugar drop so he also carries snacks
◇ The bright pink lighter and the lighter case was given to him by the guys, because that dummy always loses his lighter.
》 Every other day he's asking to borrow a lighter because he lost his
◇ Yet he knows where everyone of his guitar picks are, which is ridiculous
◇ Has a shit ton of them too, carries them in a little case!
◇ Stan will fist fight anyone who touches that brown journal, there's so much in there. (You know that feeling you get when someone asks to see your sketchbook? Yeah.)
◇ Lyrics for Crimson Dawn, poems that will never see the light of day, magic cards he uses as bookmarks,and campaign ideas
》 A few pages that have been ripped out and or burned out. Usually means he's had a bad day and needed to get it out
◇ The other thing he's protective of is his headphones, he's not sure why. There's nothing special about those white headphones. But they're his, and they got him through high-school.
◇ He was actually super happy about his Soul Synergy
◇ He already had a habit of doodling on his skin, so it was a surprise it manifested like this
◇ Kyle does get onto him about how often he marks on his skin. He orders Stan those Body Mark markers.
◇ When pictures or words show up on his skin it tickles, it's like he can feel the marker or pen
◇ That's the only part he hates, it tickles him and he's extremely ticklish (perish.)
◇ Doodles, lists, lyrics, and notes on things to do later. For some reason he's protective over all of them, and it makes him slightly sad when they go away.
It a few hours of sitting still, but it's finally done. Red takes a wipe and swipes it across his forearm, the moist wipe feels good against his skin. It's irritated from being poked over and over again, he can still feel the buzz of the needle.
The wipe reveals the jagged Soundwave tattoo stretching down his forearm. He smiles at it and almost goes to touch it, but stops himself. From the way his tattoo artist glares at him, he knows better.
He tries, he really does, to listen to Red as she goes through the steps on how to take care of it. But it's hard when he keeps staring at it, wondering if his little plan worked.
On the outside, it certainly seems narcissistic to get one's voice tattooed on one's self. But Stan could live with the whispers or the questions if it meant it was on the skin of his soulmate too. It wasn't anyone else's business what it was, that was between him and them.
After all Stan worked very hard to get that recording of him singing, You are my Sunshine, just right.
(Here's the blank ♡)
#south park#sp fanfiction#south park fanfiction#secret soulmate au#Stan Marsh#Soulmate au#south park fanart#drabble#headcanons#reader insert#south park x reader#x reader#soul synergy#shhh its a secret
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Cap 1 part 2
*Upon arriving at the classroom, the students sat down and waited for Mr. Garrison, after a few minutes he arrived with the new student.
-Well, introduce yourself- says Mr. Garrison.
*Stan looked nervously at his companions and said:
-I'm Stanley Marsh... hm I'm 16 years old and... um my father owns a farm- he said quietly so as not to attract too much attention.
-Okay Stan, now go sit down- Mr. Garrison said and then sat down at his desk.
*The boy looked at his classmates looking for a place to sit, looked at the nearest empty place and headed towards it.
-Hey, can I sit here?- He asked looking at Kyle.
*The latter turned like this and looked into Stan's bright blue eyes for 5 seconds, until the older man spoke, breaking him out of that "trance"
-Emm...so if I can or not?
-Sorry, of course you can sit down.
*after standing for a long time at that awkward moment, Stan sat down and took his things out of his backpack. Class started and continued normally, some would say, but in Stan's case, he had been receiving strange looks from Kyle on several occasions. and they had even exchanged awkward glances
#south park#south park au#alternate universe#stan marsh#kyle broflovski#south park fanart#fypツ#fypage#fyp#fypシ#tumblr fyp#fypppppppoppppp#silly drawing#comics
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FIONNA AND CAKE RANT PART TWO
becuaee.i just watched episodes 3-6
SO FIRST OF CHOOSE GOOSE CAME BACK
AND THEN HE DIED BUT HE CAME BACK AS A PERSON
WAS THERE TWO FINNS IN THE FARM UNIVERSE???? LIKE CLEARLY FIN WITH THE MISSING ARM IS FINN BUT LIKE HIS KID AND THE GIRL WITH THE MULLET KINDA GIVE ME FLAME PRINCES VIBES?????
PRISMO AND SIMON ARE MUTUALS ON AO3 TELL ME IM WRONG
WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP CALLING SIMON A GIRL??? DID I MISS SOMETHING????? WHAT???? LIKE I THINK ITS FUNNY BUT LIKE IS THIS A TRANS LEO SITUATION???
WINTER KING OMG!!!! SO GAY!!! SO BONKERS!!! WINTER KING SIMONCEST IS GROSS BUT LIKE I LOW-KEY THOUGHT THEY WOULD KISS LIKE UNIRONICALLY! LIKE THE ONLY REASON IT WAS FIONNA IS BECAUSE US INTERNET PEOPLE WOULD BE LIKE BRO TF BUT LIKE IN THE CONTEXT OF WINTER KING BEING A LITTLE UNHINGED IT MADE MORE SENSE THAN HIM KISSING FIONNA
CANDY QUEEN DESERVED SO MUCH MORE!!! ICE KING STAN FRFR! THEY NEED TO BE FRIENDS! THEY NEED TO BE IN A BAND RIGHT NOW!
BUBLINE CANON MEETING! WHY DID MARSH SHOWER IN HER HOUSE? DOES HE NOT HAVE A HOME? WHAT DID THEY DO TO MY POOR BABY BOY????
IM KILLING THOSE LEMONGRAB SONS OF B####ES FOR HURTING MY POOR BUBBLEGUM BOY! THAT WAS A REALLY CUTE WAY TO INTRODUCE THE CANDY PEOPLE
"so where does a cupcake go to meet a chocolate covered strawberry?" MADE ME WANT TO SCREAM! I MEAN I AM BUT OH MY GOOD LORD THEY NEED TO GET TOGETHER! WAS IT A METAPHOR??? IS MARSHALL DISCREETLY ASKING HIM OUT??? AND THE WAY THEY STARTED RANTING ABOUT IT IS JUST UGH
BECAUSE THE WAY THEY MET WAS MARSH WAS ALREADY THERE, SO THE "Cupcake" WOULD BE MY ADORABLE LITTLE PRINCE GOING TO THAT PUNK MF!
#Hkxfbngcnhdkvdigckbxvkdkbxbjxbkdkbdvkx#Need more now#like right now#fionna and cake#fionna campbell#fionna the human#winter king#simon petrikov#Candy queen#adventure time#princess bubblegum#ice king#finn the human#bubline#prince gumball#marshall lee#flame prince
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flowers can you some Stan headcanons🤭🤭🤭
HEADCANNONS
Stan Marsh
AGED UP TO 18 PEEPS
cw: drinking, smoking, drugs, abuse, slight nsfw, addiction
a/n: hehe i hope u like this ruby!!! also this is for anon and @wonyoungies-world that also requested stan head cannons <3
also again same with kyle in the regular head cannons style are together but in the relationship ones he’s with reader!
- Ok I have like two versions of Stan in my head. football Stan and emo loser Stan. I love both versions a lot lmao.
- Stan has a shitty relationship with his Dad. He loathes him for moving him away from his friends to tegridy farms. His Dad was very absent in his life so Stan has always felt extremely neglected.
- He absolutely adores Sharon . He’s such a mummas boy. He goes to her for everything.
- Stan is THE bisexual queen lol!
- His closet is just oversized sports tees and baggy jeans.
- I think his family is catholic but he isn’t a religious person at all.
- He had a weird relationship with Shelly growing up but as teenagers Shelly took Stan under her wing because she saw how Randy’s neglect affected him.
- He’s absolutely petrified of turning into Randy.
- Bleaches his hair at 3am drunk one night with Kyle so he looks less like his Dad.
- Bro has been in LOVE with Kyle forever.
- Thinks he’s super slick with it (he’s not).
- Didn’t wanna ruin the friendship.
- They kissed once at a party but didn’t speak about it.
- After they moved to the farm he stopped smoking weed cause it made him angry.
- Has a mullet for a while because Kenny influenced him.
- Saved up his pocket money for a shitty electric guitar and it his pride and joy.
- Loves playing music it’s an escape for him.
- Like I said in the Kenny head cannons, Stan forms a band for the second half of high school.
- Some of his favourite memories are with the band.
- Doesn’t hate coffee but doesn’t love it. Wendy put him onto chai lattes.
- Has a really good friendship with Kenny.
- Really struggled with alcohol abuse throughout high school. I think he didn’t wanna admit he needed help it made him feel weak.
- Loves blueberry muffins.
- Spends heaps of time playing minecraft with Kyle and Kenny.
- My guy is greasy, starts looking after himself when he hits 16.
- If he played sports he plays football and ice hockey.
- He’s really good at both but it’s not where his passion is.
- Soooo fond of animals. I think he’d volunteer at the same shelter karen does.
- Did not get out of bed for days when Sparky died.
- Kyle surprised him with a puppy after about a year of dating.
- Deftones enjoyer 😭
- Really struggled with depression. Didn’t go on meds until Kyle literally begged him.
- His guilty pleasure is painting (HERE ME OUT ON THIS ONE).
- Sets up a little corner of his garage with an easel and spends a lot of time there.
- Always has headphones in.
- Went to rehab right before college.
- Really struggled to figure out what his direction in life should be.
- I think he went into veterinary work!! Switched to animal and plant conservation after he realised he couldn’t deal with putting pets down.
- Worked at the library for a while, he liked the peace and quiet.
- Started helping Heidi and Kyle with the community garden.
- Quarterback obviously lol.
- His favourite breakfast food is pancakes.
- Loves the ocean. Isn’t a great swimmer but Kenny taught him to surf.
- After working at the library he really got into reading books.
- Listens to brown noise to get to sleep.
- Still wears his ratty ass beanie everywhere.
- Hates summer, loves spring.
- The day him and Kyle started dating was one of the best days of his life.
- Him and Kyle share his wired headphones on long road trips 🥹
- Can’t do laundry to save his damn life.
- Gets in weird cleaning moods and power scrubs his house.
- Him and Kyle get an apartment together.
- Loves hearing Kyle play piano.
- Can’t eat vegetables without dip (same).
- Marjorine does his eyeliner before gigs.
- That boy can sleep just about anywhere.
Stan in a relationship
- So clingy like SO CLINGY.
- When he’s in a relationship he adores his significant other.
- Loves to lay his head on your chest while your fingers thread through his hair.
- Will make you put your feet on his and slow dances with you.
- Always touching you even if it’s lowkey, linking pinkies, bumping shoulders.
- Is so scared he’s not good enough for you, will require a lot of reassurance.
- When he goes through his depressive episodes he becomes very withdrawn. Will take him a while to open up.
- You will push his towards seeking professional help but he’ll only do it when he acknowledges he actually needs it.
- Always calls and texts you when he’s drunk.
- When y’all had sex for the first time he was a nervous wreck. So scared of doing something wrong and embarrassing himself.
- After a while he learnt what you like really well and knows how to make you feel good.
- Such a switch.
- Hear me out he’s such a thigh guy!
- His love language is quality time 100%
- Prefers nights in over going out! Y’all watch bad movies for shits and gigs.
- Supports whatever you do, number one cheerleader type beat.
- You’re at all of his gigs in the front row screaming your heart out. He always melts at the sight of it.
- You paint his nails black.
- He likes to braid your hair for fun.
- He sleeps over at yours a lot because being around his dad is hard.
- Struggles to sleep so y’all go on 3am drives for donuts.
- Long late night drives together!
- You guys swim in Starks Pond over the summer and ice skate there in winter.
- There’s no such thing as a quick kiss with stan, he always kisses you very passionately.
- He’s so tender with you when you guys are in bed and he wakes up first.
- Had made you so many playlists and sends you new music recommendations all the time.
- Wrote a song for your anniversary and sung it to you. You cried for hours.
- When he was struggling with his sense of direction in life you guys made a bucket list together.
- One of his bucket list items was to go to Europe so y’all did exactly that.
- You surprised him with a puppy one year after you moved in together. He cried.
- Sunday brunch is a weekly thing, he always gets pancakes.
- Y’all nap in the sun together in your hammock.
- He reads you his favourite books before bed 😭😭
- You will do drunk karaoke together.
- Matching bracelets!
- He likes to kiss your neck and shoulders while he stands behind you.
- Likes to peck your nose and see your face scrunch up.
- Calls you beautiful at least 50 times a day.
- Has a polaroid picture of you in his phone case.
- You wear his clothes and it turns him on LOL.
- Was terrified of marriage until he met you. It completely changed his perspective.
- Will propose to you on a walk you guys do in Lake Como. You both cry.
- I think Stan will try so hard to be the best version of himself around you and it makes your heart melt.
#legoflwrsrambles#south park x reader#south park headcannons#stan marsh#stanley marsh#stan marsh x reader#stan marsh headcanons#stanley marsh x reader#stanley marsh headcannons#i love my boy
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is fingerbang in rm?
oooooh...iiiiinteresting.
but i'm gonna say no. :/
i Wish i could put them in rm because that would be so iconic, but there's just too much crossover with the characters; i wouldn't know how to work it into the story with everything going on already.
however! i will raise you this:
so back in the stone ages when i used to run the BWB twitter, i came across a post that you might remember me retweeting/replying to a tweet with a picture of fingerbang kyle and regular stan in it.
at the top of the post, someone retweeted it saying something to the effect of 'ugh, i hate celebrity x fan plots, so boring lol' and maybe it's petty but that made me heeeellla overprotective and Viciously Angry bc that's the plot premise of my entire fanfic and i literally don't think it's boring at all??? yes, i'm insane.
that pissed me off, lmao.
but anyways i was looking at that picture of finger bang kyle and regular boy stan and was like...oh my god it's just rm in reverse???
so here's my pitch for the reverse remember au fic aka...
forget?
shdlkshdlkah
so i think that the plot premise or chapter one would hinge on the fact that it is shelley's birthday. and for shelley's birthday, she and her friend got two tickets to go see finger bang live and in concert, world famous boy band, like one direction, beatle-mania level famous.
buuuuuut her friend backs out at the last minute, so she's left with this extra ticket and that girl was her ride so she basically can't go.
let's leave that off to the side for a moment though, so i can tell you a little about what i think forget au stan marsh would be like...
who i think...
is an absolute fucking LOSER.
like i am talking major loner-stoner energies, has literally one friend and i think its butters who is also his roommate, never goes outside, literally just holes up in his room playing his guitar, writes a bunch of really dark edgelordy songs no one will ever hear — they are actually quite good, but again, sort of political and bleak and beat-poetic, is a serious music snob, like really really fucking annoying about music...might bring him working at vinyl tap back, but i also support city wok delivery boy stan, basically only goes outside to barely pay attention in class ( he's a music major at cu denver ), go to work so that he can buy more pizza, beer, video games and i think he's saving up for a really fancy guitar or to see shows which are his safe place.
i predict that he probably is still bleach blonde stan, i maintain that he can still be half mexican like ravenstan, could be really cute if he brushed his hair and stopped slouching, vegetarian, wears the same beanie from high school, rotates the same like four or five tee shirts which are all covered in stains, full of holes, etc. most of them are band shirts or 100% hemp tegridy farms work shirts from when he was working there in high school which he barely got through, btw, cs get degrees, probably wears the iconic stan leather jacket that is obnoxiously covered in pins, big baggy jeans, like, huge, and ofc, the stan marsh combat boots bc he's an midwest emo king.
i assume he has all the stan piercings, certainly the nose one...should i give him the ravenstan lip piercing for shits and gigs? some tattoos?
but yeah, i love him but he's pathetic. he has like zero social skills. he had one girlfriend and it was wendy and they broke up a million times because he kept accidentally fucking up by boyfailing too hard. bi but i don't think he really knows that. like i feel like he has some bi panic moments but he kind of just takes a shot and swallows those down and tries not to think about it so stan probably thinks he's straight.
interesting.
anyways! stan is gearing up to go to this gigantic metal festival that he's ben waiting for..Forever but then gets a call from his mom who is like "stanley marsh, it is your SISTER'S BIRTHDAY! you are driving her to this concert and that is final!" he complains soooooo much like shelley why are you fucking ruining my life to go see gay one direction????? holy shit???? i hate my life????
but the hotel room(s) are already paid for and stan has the tegridy farms family truck ( riley made me moderately obsessed with little beat up pick up truck farm boy stan i love him ) aka weed for speed aka mary jane ( she is stan's baby ) so he picks shelley up who tries to play finger bang the whole way there but stan is a snob and he is like i am driving i am picking the music, but shelley and him keep fightng and probably break the radio and they have to sit in silence hdlksah, the whole time shelley is going on and on and ON about finger bang and how obsessed she is specifically with kyle, who stan doesn't know much about other than the fact that he is little and ginger?
sigh we can have tall boyfail loser midwest emo weed farm skater boy stan and short cute fresh faced world famous popstar kyle as a treat, you are welcome to everyone, but mostly riley.
also because i gave jersey an accent, i mean, i don't think forget finger bang stan has a super strong accent but there's probably a little twang there just from being all the way out there in super hick nowheresville rural colorado, it kind of embarasses him so he doesn't talk much or very loudly at all, might have a slight stammer?
idk i love him he's a qt. <3
anyways they get there and it is PACKED!!!!! it is literally hell, stan is so overstimulated holy shit, like forget ( why am i calling it that like that is so fucking funny ) stan is so introverted, he is not vibing. also because it's all mostly screaming girls with signs and stuff, shelley is one of them, she is holding up this really obnoxious one that says 'DEFILE ME, KYLE' on it like gOOOOOOD.
he's in hell fr fr fr.
but it gets worse because right before they are about to get in, this group of rabid fans runs by and one of them knocks her red sugary drink all over stan and completely douses his shirt. he's ready to die. the hotel is too far away, so he has to go into the stadium store and buy something to wear but sigh...the only option...
is black tee-shirt with the words FINGERBANG ME <3 in a big pink glittery font...but sigh...*raven vc* at least it's black. he has no choice but to buy it rip the guitar fund.
he goes back in with shelley and the finger bang boys come out i think its cartman, kenny, kyle and wendy but...wendyl? might be kinda spicy if stan's ex-boyfriend was in fb, also bc that makes him confused about his sexuality...nina rm/fb trans rights, baby!
stan hates everything about their upbeat, capitalistic, commercialist vibe, all of it is really obnoxious bubble gum pop stuff meant to be peddled to teenage girls, its almost propaganda and makes stan sick.
which, speaking of, the songs are bad, but the singing, he's realizing, is actually quite good, particularly the singing done by the little ginger finger bang boy who shelley is obsessed with who...for some reason stan really cannot take his eyes off of. he also thinks he might be crazy but he swears they accidentally locked eyes a couple times, which meant stan had to take a swig of flask he stashed in his jacket.
but i'm gonna finish this post out with a bang or, rather, a finger bang if you will, because i think ala the virigin sacrifice schtick in rm, they probably single some audience members out...
shelley picks the extremely oppurtune moment before that happens to use the restroom and basically pawns her gigantic DEFILE ME KYLE SIGN off on him, so he's just holding this kyle sign and the FINGER BANG ME teeshirt so naturally, fingerbang kyle thinks he's a fan, gets really close to him, winks, steals his beanie, replaces it with his white, blingy, fluffy ushanka and says
"Hey Cutie,
Wanna Get Finger Banged?" <3 ;) xxx
LKHDSLKSHLKHSLKHD I CAN JUST SEE RURAL BOY MIDWEST EMO STAN HEAVY BREATHING HAVING A BI PANIC ATTACK LIKE OHHHH GOD OH GOD LITERALLY CANT SPEAK FEELS LIKE HES GONNA THROW UP FB!KYLE RIZZ IS WAY TOO STRONG HELP
anyways...Scene.
this was so funny to me. like obviously it's not a real thing or anything but it was interesting to imagine an alternative world where finger bang is the famous band and kyle is the big celebrity, not stan. i think maybe they're looking for a 5th member and butters joins the band??? also maybe style have some secret red string of fate tying them together that neither of them know abt?
live, laugh, fingerbang.
uncle nina, celebrity x fan enthusiast
#this was so funny to me i don't know what the hell this is#but it made me laugh so there#finger ban(d) supremacy baby!#this kind of thrilled me so u can ask me silly questions about the fake forget fingerband universe if you want#i am a little obsessed with lanky introverted mid west emo music snob music major rural colorado weed farm boy stan#and tiny bubblegum pop boy next door super cheeky flirty it boy golden boy kyle who probably has a lot of demons and#idk i get the feeling he's got some sort of secret addiction or really dark past...something i think fb stan can sense in his aura#do i give fb stan the stan-a-thesia#idk but he can tell that hes putting on some kind of act#something about maybe having wendy become wendyl#and end up in fingerbang just seems dramatic and interesting to me and really explores sexuality and gender identity#fb stan is repressed that whole fanfic by the way holy shit#i guess its enemies to lovers again#i love drama#i feel like butters is butters and not marjorine#but maybe also transitions through my fake fic#why do i kind of like midwest emo stans twang deep country backwoods colorado accent and his awkward stammer#kyles voice is beautiful by the way he also can do ballet <333#he is very cute stan is sick all the time its so bad#OKAY IM DONE ARE WE OBSESSED#oh god what if i had finger bang order city wok#and stan deliver it oh my god#luv my fake fic#where is the prissy preppy rich boy kyle visits tegridy farms and has a paris hilton simple life moment and gets chased by the farm animals#and doesnt know how to milk cows or shuck corn or anything and stan driving the tractor and pitching bails of hay shirtless#that is the content i want to see
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ryry will you tell us about the ojv sp parents! or their relationships with the sp boys? like stan ft shelley ( love stan and shell) sharon and rancid ( ik u touched on that one but im nosy ) or like kyle ft. the broflovskis? those dynamics? or how the broflovskis feel abt stan and stan’s parents abt kyle, vice versa? ill also accept star seven fam situations anythin u want go crazy go stupid
( also i love u mwahmwahmwahmwahmwaaaah )
Oh I ABSOLUTELY WILL!!! And I will get WAY too into it!!! Gonna be sticking with the Marshes and Broflovskis this ask, but I’ll get to the rest of the ojv star seven sometime! (This bouta be convoluted tbh)
So starting with my darling Stanathan, Sharon and Randy Jackass Marsh divorced for good when our boy was 12. At this point the only thing Shelley and Stan agreed on was that their parents should NOT be together and when shit was finalized they were both like FUCK YEAH MOM TAKE US OFF THIS FARM!!! And Sharon moved them back into their old house. Randy’s pretty much all over the place and not NEARLY the dad he thinks he is, but the kids still have to spend weekends at the farm a few times a month.
And like a lot of little kids, especially little boys, Stan REALLY looked up to his dad when he was younger. Like that’s his dad, the “cool” parent. But about the time Stan turned 10 and his mental health went through a really bad spot, he started to see the world a LOT less idealistically and ESPECIALLY started seeing the nuance of the people in his life. A lot of people are selfish. And his father is a prime example of that.
That’s not to say OrangeJuiceVerse Randy is truly insidious. He’s not. He just genuinely doesn’t think about anything that doesn’t directly affect him, or acknowledge that his actions can hurt other people. He’s selfish. And a lot of the reason Shelley and Stan had a rocky relationship when they’re young is because she’s four years older than her brother, and she sees their dad for all his bullshit long before Stan does, and a 14 year old Shelley is honestly jealous of that innocence. That, and the general teenage angst, but once they’re on the same page, it’s very “Annoyed Siblings vs Parents Who Need To Get Their Shit Together”. Like Sharon and Randy will be fighting again and they just share that Sibling Look lmao.
That brings me to my queen Sharon. That woman’s highest priority is her kids, always, which is a lot of the reason she gets so exasperated with Randy. Like during Stan’s stint as the poster child football star of South Park, well after the divorce, she is calling him up like “REALLY RANDY?!? You’ll use our boy to promote your weed business but can’t be bothered to come to a single game?!?” She and Sheila have also been essentially second mothers to their sons sbfs forever, and the families have been fused for style’s entire lives.
Also, Stan is a total mamas boy. Both his own and Kyle’s. He has been known to call his mother ‘dude’ because he calls everyone that and he’s very “yes ma’am” with Sheila most of the time but they’re so close that once he called HER dude and she wasn’t even phased she just likes that Stan likes her enough to feel comfortable like that lmfao. He and Sheila tag team being overly concerned about Kyle and they totally gang up on him when he’s not taking care of himself.
With Stan and Gerald, it’s a really casual thing. Like they’re mostly chill towards each other. Unless Gerald is around Randy, in which case Gerald’s dumbass tendencies come out full force, because Gerald’s kind of an idiot but he’s pretty harmless other than some minor cyber bullying and Randy Shenanigans.
So Ike. Ike and Stan have SO much fun together, especially as they get older, like they’re playing video games together, especially the puzzle games that frustrate Kyle, and when Ike’s in high school he goes to Stan for advice on things he’s too embarrassed to ask his brother about (Stan is not the person to ask for advice) and it’s so funny bc like they’re adults and Kyle will wake up at 3am for water and Stan’s in the office on the GTA RP with Ike and they’re trying to get kicked out of servers by pissing off the mods
Kyle time bois!!! As much as he tries to deny it, he is a LOT like his mother. He can be stubborn and reactive, sometimes preachy, but they’re like that because they just care so damn much about everything and everyone. If there’s an injustice to be found, they’re fighting it. And they’re both incredibly nurturing and passionate about loved ones. But because they’re so much alike, they tend to argue. At the end of the day, though, Kyle loves his mom and she loves him.
His relationship with his father was a little strained in high school. Gerald’s well meaning encouragement to push Kyle to succeed came off as IMPOSSIBLE expectations and the pressure Ky felt was on him was enormous, because Gerald really sucks at communication in a sensitive way. He actually felt a lot of guilt, for a long time, about unintentionally stressing his son out to the point that it got to. Kyle didn’t blame him really, mostly himself for getting so carried away, but he did have to learn to take everything Gerald says with a grain of salt.
Kyle and Ike ayyyyyy! Dude even if Kyle kind of terrorized Ike when he was like 8 because he thought that’s what big brothers were supposed to do, he grows into the best big brother and it’s HILARIOUS when Ike’s in middle school and Kyle’s trying WAY too hard to be cool and friends with him and Ike CONSISTENTLY reads him for absolute filth, makes fun of him for everything he can, and rips on him. He has totally told him that he likes Stan better and Kyle was like “yeah, well so do I!” “no shit, homo!” It’s all in good fun, they really love each other a lot, and if anyone fucks with Ike? They are getting the Kyle Rage Volcano.
Shelleys always been kinda indifferent towards all Stan’s friends unless they’re bothering her, but when Kyle and Stan got together, she gave him the ‘take care of my baby brother’ speech. Over the years they come to know each other pretty well, are even friends, maybe not as close as Stan and Ike, but still.
Kyle and Sharon are lowkey BESTIES dude Kyle is Team Sharon from day one. He adores his mother in law, sits with her at football games, loves gushing over Stan with her, just really enjoys her company. As a kid it’s because her more quiet nature is a break from his own mom, but as he gets older, he is the CAPTAIN of Sharon Defense Squad, because
Kyle does not like Randy. And OrangeJuiceVerse Kyle is someone who truly wants to see the good in everyone, give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Not Randy. Like he was 7 years old witnessing Randy Bullshit and he was like “dude your dads a jackass” and Stan was all “he’s okay” but over the years that exasperation with his best friend’s dad turned into an actual grudge, because how could this deranged man not see the emotional toll he was taking on his own son? Why didn’t he care about Stan? Didn’t he give a shit that he was hurting Kyle’s favorite person in the entire world? And Kyle does NOT try to hide the fact that he hates Randy, out here glaring at him, telling him off when he does something stupid (and it’s scary tbh, like OJV Kyle isn’t very intimidating until he’s mad, then he’s snapping like an angry fox) like bruh Kyle was SCREAMING at Randy kicking him out of the wedding for bringing alcohol to his SOBER SON like an uncaring dick, meanwhile Stan was more upset that his dad bothered a beehive lmfao. Kyle ‘Speak No Evil Take No Shit’ Broflovski, everyone. Randy’s a little scared of him.
That’s what I got, my dearest, THANK YOU FOR ASKING I LOVE THINKING ABT OJV!!!
#asks#I am in fact drinking a KMBS as I write the tags#which was not even intentional btw#thank you to the wife I love when neen asks me things#and when ANYONE asks me ANYTHING about ANYTHING#I just like to be annoying#south park#style#lmm voice: look at my son#look at this i learned something today ass bitch#them#fanfiction#my shit#OrangeJuiceVerse#ao3#stan marsh#kyle broflovski#character relationships#headcanon#Randy jackass marsh
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FIC TIME!!!!!
AU: Lost Hope
TW- None
Four years.
It didn't seem that long to Stanley Marsh. In fact, he didn't even realize that years were going by. It lust felt like he was waiting for something. But the question was, what?
Well actually, he knew exactly what he was waiting for. He was waiting for Wendy, Kyle, and to a lesser degree, Butters to all be found and to return home safely. Wendy was Stan's girlfriend, of course he would care if she went missing. The same applied for Kyle, as he was his boyfriend. The person he was least worried about was Butters. That kid had always said that he was going to 'run away someday'. Guess that day finally came.
His thoughts in his head filled the silence in the front room of Stan's house on the farm. He couldn't even remember why he was here. He looked over towards the kitchen. Oh yeah, he had invited Kenny round to hang out around his house because he wanted to take his mind off of the 4 year anniversary of Kyle and Wendy's disappearance and the 3 year anniversary of Butters'. Who know how long they were sitting in silence, but it felt comfortable for some reason.
The blonde took notice of the raven-ette's staring. He knew he had to say something to break the ice, but what? Kenny noticed Stan's Nintendo plugged into the TV and got an idea.
"Dude, you up for a round of Mario Kart?"
The question snapped Stanley out of his episode and made him think for a second. The thing that Kenny had asked him was so off topic, yet might actually have the power to cheer him up. He shrugged as a response and got up to turn on the console, then went to turn on the huge flat-screen TV that his dad had brought recently. He hated his dad's character, but the stuff he brought was always somewhat cool. The TV's logo flashed up for a second and then the switch logo came up. Stan took the joy-cons out from the console and gave one to Kenny while he kept the other one for himself. He selected the game and started to playfully chat with Kenny.
"You're gonna lose, poor-boy."
Kenny looked at Stan in a pretend offended way before sprouting "Oh yeah? Bring it on, emo." He smirked playfully.
Stan smiled at Kenny's comments. Sure, he missed Kyle and Wendy, but right now, he had Kenny. And having one friend was better than having none. After a few rounds, it became painfully obvious who was better at the game. Kenny had won nine times, while Stan had only won once. He couldn't tell if he was going easy on the blonde or not.
"Goddamn Marsh... you are shit at this game..." Kenny looked at Stan and chuckled lightly.
Stan then got an idea. He kicked Kenny in the stomach playfully, which cause him to loosen his grip on the controller. Kenny then attempted to hit Stan but he kept moving away from the blonde's attacks. The score was now Kenny 9, Stan 2.
"You dirty cheater!!! I was gonna win and you stopped me!!!"
"No I didn't! You're just a sore loser..." Stan nudged Kenny.
Kenny giggled slightly. "Says the one who kicked me."
The two boys looked at each other for a moment and then proceeded to erupt into laughter. They laughed for what felt like hours until they had started to come down from the high they were just on. The moment ended with Stan laying on Kenny's chest while gazing at a picture on the wall of him, Kenny, Kyle and Cartman.
"Hey Stan..." Kenny looked down at Stan's head, resting on his chest while his deep blue eyes tilted up to meet Kenny's unusually purple ones.
Kenny smiled at Stan and said with an understanding tone. "I'll always be here for you. If you ever need to talk, or anything. You know where to find me."
Stan smiled back softly. "I know dude. I know."
That day, Kenny and Stan grew closer to each other than they were before. They were no longer just friends, they were best friends.
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Stan: One day I'm gonna burn this fucking place to the ground and just disappear.
Tweek: O-oh god man . . . count me in.
headcanon: after Stan moves to the farm Tweek starts getting sent by his parents to bring deliveries to the Marshes. Over time they start to bond over their shitty drug-peddling families (well, just Randy in Stan's case.) Tweek loves Stan's death metal music, Stan finds he really enjoys Tweek's energy, and they end up supporting eachother's rehab journeys.
they're both in college at this point, but couldn't afford to leave home yet or it's the summer between terms
#stan marsh#tegridy farms#tweak tweek#sp tweak#south park#south park stan#south park tweek#south park headcanons#south park fanart#south park tegridy#tegridy weed#tegridy#randy marsh#emo stan marsh#farm boy stan marsh#farm south park#headcanon#tweeker family#sp tweek#aged up characters#aged up#older characters#college age#college characters
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So I've been getting into the sp fandom lately and let me tell u it's a must for me to do a one-shot.. It's gonna be a good attempt
One-shot SP
/CURSE/
(Kinda shipping? (Kyle/Cartman) Kinda trying to replicate the imagination land scene where Kyle dies an other various scenes, Cartman(important for the plot),Cartman and Kenny lore,some Stan against, and death of a main character. Kenny plays a role, also y'know death and resurrection that's he's thing.. right?)
It a pretty damn long One-shot.
It's been a common day in the little mountain town of Colorado called south park, Randy had arranged a parade/party at one of the most popular places in town 'DikinBaus' because of some festive weed special (trying to make it seem out of the ordinary weed when it comes to the same shit with a diffrent label) that Stan Marsh and his three other friends would care less about, well, atleast one. Eric Cartman.
Yes, the little evil master mind of south park.
Bitch was angry and quite bitter about the fact that his old home was no longer his, after being part of creating it's popularity. Though he did deserve it and his jewish friend made it know.
"I don't know why you're so pissed off, Cartman, you we're asking for it when you took advantage of Butters hard work," The latter roll his eyes.
"Whatever, it's Butters," He stated, as if it were obvious.
"Dude, just be grateful you got your old house back," Stan tune in, his tone was a little bit frustrated then it should've, luckily his fat friend payed not much attention to it. He wished he could move back, be close to his friends, have his old life back. But his father was farther than an idiot to just let go of his marijuana dream.
"How am I gonna be grateful about losing my DikinBaus!?," He exclaimed angry. Kenny, their blonde friend snorted, "shut up Kinny!."
"C'mon man, it's not a big deal," He patted the bigger boy's shoulder in hopes he'll just moved on from the subject. But ofcourse, he didn't.
"No! I can't leave it like this with out a fight!, I work hard for that shitty place to reopen, it's not fair!," He clenched he's fist, glaring at the nothing.
Both three boys just looked at each other, in a mutual agreement of not getting involved.
Later that day, Stan was forced to partake in the event host by his father, ofcourse not before arguing and complaining about it being just another waste of the income they made, for then later on his father to complain about how they had no money for more resources. Repeat all the time. Stan just hold the bridge of his nose outta frustration.
No boy his age should be this stress out for his parents doings, in this scenario, his dad.
"Hey Stan, check this out!," Exclaimed excited, Randy. The boy followed him, as he has no other choice but to listen.
"What the fuck is that," Stan questioned a little horrified, confused? He couldn't tell, cause he actually gave two shits. But this looked outta the ordinary of the ordinary. If that even makes sense.
There was a seagull looking mutation with what it seems like a rats feet. For a second there he was worried his father accidentally caught man bear pig's kid.
"It's the Tergrity farms mascot!," He exclaimed even more excited taking out a board outta nowhere, explaining his new strategy.
Oh. So that's that.
"Yeah, bye," said lastly, in a flat tone, no longer caring about the rest before returning outside.
Stan was not gonna get involved, no matter how bizarre and crazy his dad's Karen episodes get, he told himself for the millionth time that same day. He was NOT getting involved.
[...]
"For fuck sake dad! What did you do!?," He shouted confused by the change of event, being tied in a chair was far from the plans he had for this evening.
"Uh.. well, let's say it a TEGRITY strategy," Randy smiled commercially, clearly seems nervous. Clearly fucked up. The latter frowned from that response.
Stan sighed, "okay. What did you do," he asked again, finally had calm himself and processed the situation he's in. No pizza night at Tolkien's tonight he said to himself.
"Well, remember my mascot?,"
He nodded, ofcourse he did, it all happened today.
"Well turns out he's like, related to chutulu."
Stan wanted to grip his nose outta frustration again, so bad, after hearing that, "what?," he asked again. As he couldn't believe that thing was related to.. unfuckin' believable. Actually it was definitely believable.
"Yeah, I don't know how'd it happened but he found out and wanted to massacre me and my farm, can you believe that! I even offered some of my weed," said exhausted while having a pout face as a child being scolded.
"Okay, so how the hell did we end up being tied up?."
"Stan, there's a bunch of cult members in south park," he stated obviously while he rolled his eyes by being questioned this much. But he still bother to answer, "those motherfuckers knew chutulu wanted us so they found us, knocked us and tied us up, as their way of worship. We're pretty much a sacrifice."
"But why me!?," he stated bitterly as he was NOT trying to get involved today.
"Because you are, Stan! I told you about my strategy did I!?."
"I left!?."
They bicker a bit more before Stan decided to speak out for a solution.
"Look, I think, I have a plan. You know Cartman?."
"Your fat friend? What about him?."
"Well, he manipulated chutulu to join he's superheroe team awhile ago. Thing is, if we get Cartman, maybe he can help us."
"Isn't he like, a dick?."
"It's complicated. Let's just find a way outta of these ropes."
"Easy." Randy picked out of his pocket shirt with his mouth some weed and light it up with his feet and a lighter he had in his pants. And burned the ropes. He then untied him.
"You could've done that all this time!?," exclaimed baffled by his father's stupidity once again.
"No time Stan!," he said while he ran into the depths of the woods with the boy following behind.
Yes, they were in the woods. Let's move on.
[...]
Kenny found himself running like a mad man, he did not mean to provoke the dark lord, but he did. He just wanted answers about his curse! Was that too much to ask?
But here he was, regretting kicking one of those big claws of him after being bluntly ignored by chutulu, it seems it was looking for something. He assumed it was Cartman as he couldn't link the others with it. That fat fuck. What did he do!?
He couldn't bare die today as he was not aware how far chutulu would detroy the town by tomorrow. He needs to know why it's here, and ofcourse, his curse! Cause it seemed no one cares besides himself! Fuck!
He dodge one of chutulu lasers that ended destroying a car near by.
He hid in one of the markets from town, as if that's gonna make a difference. Then he saw him. That fat fucker! He was with Kyle and Butters in the meat section. Both seemed to be arguing about something while the blonde hold a riffle nervously watching the two, he'd care less right now about whatever those two were arguing about.
"You son of a bitch!," He slammed cartman into one of the freezer, Cartman looked at him with opened feared eyes, "what did you do!?."
"K-kinny..!?."
"Woah, dude, calm down," said, Kyle, "what's going on?."
" 'What's going on?'," he responded incredulous, "chutulu's out there destroying the town and killing countless souls! That's what going on!."
"Oh," Butters said not being so stoked about it.
"Yeah, we kinda know that, asshole," the brunette said casually loosing his grip.
"Eric thinks that chutulu may be here because of a mission," Butters explained.
"Oh really," the blonde said sarcastically eyeing him, "Cartman why the fuck did you summon chutulu here!? Do you know all the damage you've done."
"Excuse me? I didn't do shit, kinny!," Cartman exclaimed offended, by being accused so surely.
Yeah, he has committed various, and I mean, VARIOUS crimes, but he did NOT do this. Though he must admit to himself that this turn of events could be convenient for him to destroy DikinBaus. As no one in this stupid town does not deserve such a wonderful magnificent place. That HE made. And as such rightly deserves it and rightly could destroy it if he wanted to, right?
"Like I'm gonna believe whatever shit comes from your mouth, fatso," Kenny stated.
"It's true." Kyle spoke up, "what Cartman said.. look, I've been following this asshole since he said he was gonna try to do something about that dumb hotdog place, so, I followed him around-"
"Like and stalker," bluntly added Cartman.
"And-" Kyle continued, ignoring cartman's comment before frowning, "the only thing he's done is shit on Butter's porch and purchasing 200 hotdogs in hopes DikinBaus will run out and shut down. Which is the most ridiculous thing I've ever witnessed–"
"Oh c'mon, Kyel it was brilliant!," Cartman defended his stupidity, "it's easy an effective! I buy all the hotdogs, open my own stand and start a business," finalizing while crossing his arms. Kyle look at him angrily.
Nobody will question where he got the money to pay for all those hotdogs. Most likely in a fraudulent way. Whatever it doesn't matter.
"You ate all the hot dogs, fatass!!."
Cartman frown finding a better comeback, "well..! Atleast I have hot dogs!."
"What?," Kyle responded simply with one eyebrow upward.
"Tsch, whatever. I have a new better plan that I won't be sharing to either of you assholes."
Kenny, snapped. He had enough of this bullshit.
"Guys! Chutulu!?."
"Oh yeah, yeah," Cartman had his arms up. A freaked Kenny is a scary Kenny, "uh, what about him?," he added.
"Really?," he asked again incredulously, not waiting for an answer he continued, "something or someone must have summon the dark lord. We need to find a solution to get him out."
"Dude, that's chutulu. Even if we wanted to do something what can we do about it?," Kyle added skeptical.
"Yeah, it's not like this shitty town deserves to be saved anyways," Butters stated, still a little bitter about having to spend community service cleaning the mess the towns people made just cause he was seen as a sex offender for pinching a girl who he thought had no green on San Patrick's day!
"Well. Cartman?," Kenny asked staring deeply into Cartman's eyes. For some odd reason he felt a connection with the boy. As if his eyes had a glint of something.. he just couldn't recall what it was.
"How would I know?," Cartman asked confused, and kinda annoyed that he hasn't even started his plan B because of an overdramatic Kenny.
"You manipulated chutulu you fat fuck! Do it again," He exclaimed frustrated of the whole thing now looking at the other boys. He's finding all of these unnecessary scenarios being unfold overwhelming. Nobody seems to care, nobody seems to care about chutulu destroying south park, maybe he doesn't care!?
He sigh. Maybe he really doesn't. Maybe all this is an excuse to find out about his curse shield with the idea of being heroic. Screw that. He cared! This town may be fucked up but it was his home! Our home! They must care!
"Okay, I got a plan," Kenny stated finally after a brief silence.
[...]
Cartman found himself frowning angrily standing in the middle of the street, in a kitty costume. He would've rather just picked his coon costume but Kenny stated it'd be more effective and he was definitely trying to mess with him once again, cause he found it hilarious.
Stupid kinny.
The other three boys were hiding behind a dunked car near by him. Not like it'd make a difference. Always put Cartman in the more risky messy situations! Ofcourse he was convinced with a reward if things goes well, not because he's scared of Kenny and he was being a pussy! It was the reward he was promised of!
He heard Kenny snicker a bit, stupid kinny. He finds this amusing didn't he!? Asshole.
He then was faced with the giant dark lord with each step the ground rumble and the buildings breaking and weakening by him.
He gulped. He's done this before, he can do it again. Why is he nervous this time?
Both pair of eyes met. Time for action.
"Miaw Miaw! If it isn't one of my best pals! Miaw miaw!," he then climbed in one of chutulu's feet to his head. My gawd he deserves a reward for this acting. He then pursued on scratching the lord's head as he enjoyed the sensation of the fake claws on his skull, "who's my precious chutulu?," he then added a purr distracting the giant.
The three boys started preparing the trap they had made while upon seeing cartman's manipulation was once again, working. That fucking fatass.
Kyle was trying to knot the rope to one of the polls light but end up falling backwards in the sight of chutulu, who immediately put it's attention on the redhead. Great, just fucking wonderful.
Chutulu immediately turned his attention to Kyle and growled once knowing damn well this was set up.
"Dammit jew!," Cartman shouted making it more obvious that this in fact was, indeed a setup.
'Twack!'
Chutulu looked behind him as he had felt a tiny rock hit his tail.
"Stan?," Kyle said confused. Once Stan and his dad we're visible with some hunting gear on and some guns in there hands.
This was not going as plan. And once again Kenny sigh frustrated. He wasn't sure if the new pair of characters were a good thing or not. He's gonna let it slide this time.
Randy slowly approached chutulu leaving behind Stan, who just cautiously watched.
He then took out a weird mutant goose rat thing from behind his right arm.
Chutulu raised a brow. If that's even possible, but it was. Ofcourse it was.
Chutulu looked down as the mutant thingy went to his side rubbing himself against it's feet. It was heartwarming if it weren't for the situation they were put for and who it was. Then Chutulu did the imaginable, he squashed it.
Stan and Randy looked stoked.
"Well that does it," said Randy.
Both Marshes mouth agape, still looking at chutulu and now dead corpse.
And in splits seconds Kenny put himself in front of the two, standing in front of chutulu embracing his blonde hair exposing his face, he had taken his parka off. Glaring at the monster above. He have had enough.
"What am I?," he asked once more, "answer me now!."
"What's with this one?," Randy side eyed Stan, as he shrugged in response. Confused also.
Chutulu ignored him and approached Randy. Which jolted a bit nervous as he did not figure out what he did to anger the creature. If it wasn't his mascot than what?
He lowered his face to the man and quickly head bunked him to the side, hitting his body through a store window breaking into pieces.
"Dad!!," Exclaimed Stan, rushing in hurry to his father's aid. Noneless a idiot but still his idiot.
"Ow! I'm okay Stan.." the injured man reassured.
In a blink of an eyes the military had showed up and started attacking chutulu, bullets in and out angering the creature, he had put himself on it's feet again trying to block the bullets and attacking the attakers, Cartman still on the dark lord's head completely taken off guard as he was distracted with the dialog was then shot in the back 'ow!' falling off chutulu's head straight to the ground. He had broked his limbs and neck during impact. This anger chutulu even more, as for him kitty Cartman was like a pet.
Kyle and his other two friends had witnessed it. As he shouted, "¡Cartman!," he ran towards him caring less of the chaos around him.
"Fuck, he killed Cartman!," Kenny exclaimed as he approached the now what appears dead boy.
'There's no way'.
"Holy fuck!," said Stan from a far, he was still on his father's side but had witnessed it aswell.
Kyle was next to him analyzing the boy's wounds as he couldn't believe it.
"He's dead.." says Butters while having his mouth slightly agape standing next to Kenny watching the now corpse.
"You bastard.." whispered Kenny, he was staring at his so called best friend, lifeless eyes. It was definitely an odd sight.
"He can't be dead.." Kyle reassured griping into the boy's costume, "he just can't," he frowned.
Stan had already approached the scene as his father seem to had been well standing up not as injured.. or in this scenario dead.
He was also as stoked as the two other boys that were just standing there watching there fat friend laying there. Kyle was the only one on the ground gripping on to Cartman as if he didn't want to let go.
Kyle stared at him for a bit longer than he expected, his body had lost color, his half lidded lifeless eyes staring at him and his hands were cold.. this can't be happening. Cartman can't die. That's not possible!
Kyle with both his fist hit his friend's chest as hard as possible, anger. So much anger!
"Cartman! Can't! Die!," hitting him more times with no intention, it just felt right.
"Woah, dude," Stan put a hand on his best friend's shoulder trying to calm him down he's never seen his friend act this way. And to be honest he never expected to see Cartman this way either. Lifeless.
Kyle smacked Stan's hand off him still in disbelief.
"¡Cartman! Cartman!," he shouted almost in a cry, desperation in his voice," you fat fuck! Wake up!," he again hit as many times as he could, in the dead one's chest.
"Dude, Kyle.. he's gone," Stan said in the most pity voice. As if he could feel what Kyle felt.
"No he's bullshittin' he's fucking bullshitting, Stan!," He said almost as he's trying to believe it himself, he felt himself shake, his eyes felt watery.
A big thump caught their attention leaving the other boy kneeled to the other not leaving his side. He could now care less about that fucking dark lord and this stupid chaotic town!
"You fat fuck...!" he whispered more to himself as he closed his eyes and clenched his fist.
He may hate Cartman, and may have countless times told him that's he's better off being dead. But he really didn't mean it. If Randy can be alive, if Garrison can be alive, if man bear pig can be alive.. then why can't him? It's only fair. Two of those people he mentioned are assholes in there own fucked up way, but have done countless crimes and gotten away of being a dick atleast man bear pig is a wild satanic creature it makes sense if he kills thousands of lives. But those two other bastards are here! Free, alive.. So can Cartman!
"Cartman..?," he said choked as he felt steaming tears fall down his cheeks as he watched his fat friend laying down breathless, no bicker response. No insults. Nothing but flat silence from his part. His death even seems painful, not the typical peaceful dead look, just plain painful.
[...]
As the day ended things went back to normal as per usual, well almost.
Kenny never thought he'd find himself sitting in a funeral of one of his best friends. It was always the way around. For some reason it felt wrong. That he was supposed to be in that box and not his friend.
His mother crying on the side of the casket while some of the south park parents tried to comfort her, but failed. As she was never that close to them anyways. Besides, deep inside she knew no one would fully understand what she feels as she knows her son wasn't the best of person's. And that probably there were people from this town who'd want this or asked for this. But she? She saw the evil in him and had gotten tired of his stupid schemes but that was still her little boy and she will always be his mother. And that won't ever change, so the pain will always remain there. And everyone else was an hypocrite in her eyes.
The four boys remain silent, listening to the ceremony behold them. Yes four boys, as for now that Cartman would no longer partake in their group they added Butters in his place.
"So, do I like have to act like an asshole now?," Butters asked grabbing their attention.
"Uh no?," Stan answered.
"Well if I'm gonna take Eric's place I think I should like try to act like him, like when you guys once choose Clyde because he was the second fat boy of our class..?"
"No Butters, you don't have to act like Cartman," Stan stated now a little annoyed, this wasn't the place or time to discuss something like this when their friend hasn't still been buried. It kinda stings.. this feels fresh. It is fresh. Who knew this fat fuck would affect him?
"Are you sure?."
"For fuck sake Butters, shut up!," Kyle exclaimed angrily, receiving a couple of odd stares from some of the other people there. He cared less to be honest. He clenched his fist as he wanted so bad to punch his face and beat him up. As he'd normally just do with Cartman. Cartman..
Cartman, Cartman, Cartman..
He looked down to his feet avoiding his friends gaze.
[...]
Two days have pass, and honestly this Butters thing just wasn't working. Stan wondered if he truly would prefer having Cartman back than having to witness a whimp like Butters attempt to be a douchebag loser. Don't get him wrong, Butters can be a douchbag but he can't get into Cartman's level. Even if he tries to be. Maybe that's what Butters doing wrong? He's attempting to be someone he's not when he can easily be himself as a douche. But still, not Cartman.
For much of Stan's surprise, south park still hasn't changed a bit after his friend's passing. It's still chaotic, and bizarre. And as hard to admit it even feels longer and even torturous. New characters appear here and there, some were dicks, others were plain awful, some just bland boring ass people. He couldn't believe it, he's actually starting to miss him, as these other characters just feel forced to continue continuity when it's just full filling!
It's just two days. Two fucking days. He's been longer than that with out seeing his fat friend and he's okay with it, even thankful, and yet knowing he won't ever be seeing him because he's dead just changes things.
Let's not even talk about Kyle. Out of the the three. Yes, he's not counting Butters. Fuck Butters!
Kyle has been the most affected. Ofcourse he also has to witness the cringey attempts of their idiotic blonde friend, trying to become his new "arch-rival" as that comes in the packaging of being Eric Cartman. Including being a selfish, manipulative piece of shit. Anyways, point is, to be Eric Cartman you must also hate Kyle Brofloski. And Butters just doesn't have it in him to fully hate on someone or just give him the time of day Cartman would normally do daily, actually obsessively to Kyle.
So here he was, on one of the seats of the school buss behind Kenny and Butters, hearing Butters trying to bicker Kyle. It really feels surreal.
"So, Kayl."
"It's 'Kahl', if you're trying to mimic Cartman atleast do it right," he responded back with an added eye roll at the end.
"Well, geezz.. I mean Ay! Shut up you dumb jew! I'll do and say what I want, whenever I want!."
Well, now that's actually better. Stan actually had to repressed a laugh cause he actually found that funny.
"Wow, Butts you're getting better," complimented Kenny.
Butters beamed and stared at Kyle, who silently watch another kid entering the bus. He really did not bothered putting his attention on the blonde.
"C'mon Kyle, you must admit that was pretty good," He tune in, trying to get Kyle to loosen up.
"Yeah.. I suppose," Kyle then looked up at Butters while the other just looked back nervously. Kyle sigh, "can you fight?" he then added with a glint of mischief while the other two boys stared at Kyle, confused for the sudden change in demeanor. Butters looked a little uncertain on what to answer.
As he should, this is Kyle we're talking about.
"O-ofcourse I do!," In fact, Butters does know how to fight, just not Kyle, never Kyle.
"Great, meet me up after school in the playground," said finalized while standing up to get off the bus.
"Ah geez.." Stan heard Butters whispered before getting off the bus to join his friend.
He didn't know what Kyle had planned, but he sure wants to find out.
[...]
"Oh geez! I don't think I can be Cartman no more!," exclaimed Butters with a couple of bruises in his face, tired, "Kyle was beating me up like a butcher to its meat selection!."
"Well that is Cartman's job to deal with y'know," Stan added. He figured this must be a way for Kyle to get rid of Butters. So he followed along.
"Yeah dude, if you're gonna be Cartman. You must know that you have to become Kyle's personal punching bag," Kenny tune in, actually enjoying the laugh. He knew we were all messing with him. Cause in fact, it seems Stan was not the only one bothered by Scotch.
"Oh Jesus!."
"Man, actually I do believe you can become Cartman, even better. As you seem to be more capable of taking Kyle's moods," yeah, we can be assholes sometimes. Stan smiled a bit.
"Oh boy.." he was not liking what he was hearing. Before adding anything further Kyle approached the group, tuning in with a happy humming.
"Hey there guys," he then glared at Butters, "Butters."
"AHHHHHH!!!," He scream while dashing out of there before adding, "Screw you guys I'm going home!."
"Well, that does it," Kyle shrugged.
"Guess no one can deal with you more than a day," Kenny added.
"I guess so."
"So now what?," Stan questioned. Everything just went silent.
Normally Cartman would suggest some stupid shit, we'd shit on first before following through with it. But even the substitute bailed on us, so we must figure it out on our own.
"Board games..?," Ken then added.
"Nah, done that yesterday," Kyle replied, tapping his foot on the ground, kinda impatient, kinda bored.
"What about basketball," Stan suggested. Once again the three boys remain silent. The wind whistling in their ears as they thought harder and the space between them felt thicker as they become smaller. And smaller, and smaller..
"Who wants to try summoning Cartman with a ouija?," Kenny added plainly, while pursuing on leaving the area to his place, with the certainly the others would followed.
In fact, not only did they follow, they were eager for it.
[...]
-In Hell-
"Dammit! no barbecue at sight in the most hottest place between three worlds!," Cartman exclaimed baffled.
He's been a hell citizen for two days now, and it has sucked. He isn't even allowed to go in the cool clubs cause he was a minor and would be forever be one for eternity! He did enjoy the public torture that was embrace there but besides that, nothing too outta the ordinary he could see up in south park.
He sigh, not knowing what to do, with out his friends to annoy, death feels empty. Boring as fuck! He wants to get outta here!
When he approached a counter were there were two men talking about some country song while drinking martinis, he decided to sit next to them. They immediately stayed quiet as his presence disturb them. 'Dumb bitches' he thought.
"So... how can we get out?," he asked.
"Excuse me?,"
"Yeah, like how do we get out from hell."
"Oh, why the hell do you want to get out?."
"Because it's boring as fuck, i want to live!."
"Well, he is young, George," one of the men side eyed his companion. The other nodded in agreement.
"Well there's no way, young boy," one of the men answered, I'll call him number two. Pftt, number two, get it? Hahaha! He repressed a laugh and continued trying to get more information outta the two grown men.
"Okay, but like there must be atleast someone who COULD know a way outta here, right?," he digged.
"Hmm.." number one begin thinking, pftt.. number one, "actually I believe there is."
Getting the boy's attention, he leaned forward as if it'd help him hear them any better. They were both drunk as fuck. For what it appears. Their talk was all gibberish, but 'anything to get out of here' he said to himself.
"You should look for the 'dark red soul'."
"The 'dark red soul'..?," he murmured.
"Yup, he lives in the coast side, just follow the direction signs and go to the yellow hotel. And just ask for him, someone must know where exactly he lives at, he's quite a party goat," number two explained chugging the bit of martini he had left.
So that, he did, he followed the directions signs that lead him to hotel 'jak n off' it was yellow, that's all he cared about. This asshole better know how to get out or he'll make sure he'll make himself a new bowl of chili.
[...]
"Oh, looking for red man?."
"Sure? Is that dark red soul?," he asked not very sure if it's the same guy he was told of.
"Yeah, that's his party animal name. Follow me."
'Tch, lame.' But he did follow. This tall freckle man took him to a long dark alleyway, he was feeling skeptical at first but then remembered he couldn't die if he was already dead. It's like respawn. Sigh. He remembered when he first came here, he fell in some spikes down a lava-fall (waterfall) he also remembered how painful it was but how quick he repawn back. So all is new.
The man enter a dark room and turn on the lights.
"Yeesh!!," some rookie exclaimed angrily as he was caught in a very peculiar position with a lady friend. Both naked.
"The fuck man!?," the red head turned his gaze down looking at the chubby boy.
His eyes widen as the latter.
"Dad..?" his mouth slightly agape. He couldn't fucking believe it. Out of all things. Out of all people. It was him.
Back then he would've dreamt of finding his dad, feeling complete and happy. But once he knew about what the town hid from him what HE hid from him, he just became bitter with the idea of ever having a father figure in the picture. He figured it would've weakened him and it was for the best to had never encountered or meet him. Cause he hates feeling weak. Cause he isn't.
They both looked at each other for a long brief silent second.
The other two people that were in the room left them, well more like the other dude stole his companion.
"Uh.. 'dark red soul'..?" he added, uncertain what to say. The boy felt his legs wobble and his lip twitch. While the older man had his left eye twitch instead.
"Yeah.." Jack answered quietly.
They were both put in a very awkward situation.
"..Eric huh?.." He then added when he received no answer. He wasn't use to having someone who didn't listen to him. Noneless a son who doesn't. Scott was always so eager to answer him even with the most smallest things. Man, he really missed his boy.
"You know my name?," the boy answered too quickly than he expected. He cough nervously, "ofcourse you do, I'm Eric Cartman," he boost his ego. More like a cover up of his insecurities at the moment.
Jack lighten up a bit at the comment. Indeed he knew about the trouble maker he was, well the trouble in general, everyone in south park knew. The son of a single crackhead whore mother, a whore he slept with.
"I see you're quite a confident one," he said cheeky before nudging the boy.
Cartman jolted by that action. Skepticism was basically like his middle name. That type of gesture is uncalled for and unnecessarily. And it made him feel uneasy for some reason.
"Yeah..right," he decided to ignore the remark, "okay so.. I heard you know how to get me back to south park?."
"Oh, so that's why you're here?," then he realized that the only reason the boy is presented here was because of the inevitable, he died in the upper world.
Maybe it's his instincts, or just maybe because he's been so lonely. He feels this sudden sickening attachment towards the boy. As messed up as it sounds, considering he did ground him into chilly. But in his defense he didn't know. He didn't know he was his father. Would've that made a difference? That he couldn't know. But that made him soften just a bit. That would keep him fooled just for now.
"Yeah, I want to get back home," Cartman stated, as the tense moment had started to drift off coming to a lighter ambient.
"Oh, well I suppose I could help you with that," he lied. He saw Eric's eyes sparkle a bit, as in hope. It remind them so much like Scott's..
"Sweet!," he exclaimed excited. Finally, this literally hell will be over soon.
[...]
"So you're saying you own that hotel?," Cartman asked. As his father explained most of his living down in hell and his ropes in it.
They headed to a taco stand and Jack gesture him to take a seat in one of the chairs while he order.
"Pretty much. Cool huh?," he responded a little proud of his accomplishments.
"Yeah.. so.. 'jak n off'?," Cartman asked while he saw the waiter place their beverages in the counter.
"Haha yeah.. I thought it'd be funny. No one seems to care," he added with a chuckle, taking a sip of his soda.
"Ha.. I- when I was in the upper world me and my friend kinny started a business reopening a old hot dog restaurant and we named it 'DikinBaus' haha.. just to mess around with people," he admitted, strangely still feeling uneasy and nauseous.
"Ha! 'DiknBaus'? I love it!," Jack laughed a bit whipping a fake tear out of his right eye, "I guess we share a certain humor, Eric."
"Yeah.." he look down at his hands. It felt odd talking to his dad. He wasn't sure if it was good but he knew it wasn't unpleasant.
"So you also have a business?," Jack asked interested. His boy does resemble him in ways he won't deny that, though his slut of a mother's features were surely there, all over his face to be in fact.
Scott never seem interest in taking big steps on trying to climb to the top leagues or have big ideal dreams. He seemed okay with living in the low peaceful life and well, following his favorite bands gushing over there new songs as a fellow follower than a leader.
"Well. Turns out they took it away from me when it became one of the most popular places in town! Can you believe that?," he complained, finally letting loose the awkward tension he felt, to vent his anger and displeasure, "and what's worse is that my mom followed through with it and didn't care that we had a lifetime successful business with a cool looking house!."
"That sounds awful, your mom's a bitch," Jack admitted. He can already tell Eric can have a bright future as a business man if he we're to try harder.
The boy jolted. It anger him when anyone talks bad about his mom, maybe Jack can be an exception being his dad and all?.. but it still pinch his heart and left a sour feeling in the tip of his tongue. Yes, his mom's a bitch, but only he can say it. He really doesn't know how to respond to his dad about it.
"Right.." he then continued sipping his soda, "so, how did you manage to create one of the most popular hotels in hell?," ignoring further his mother's mentioned.
"Well, when I was down here I was very popular among the other people that had also previously died. I stood out in a way."
The food had already been served. And Cartman picked one of the bean tacos and starting munching it, he felt his father's stare on him and he felt conscious of how he was eating 'Do I have something?'.
"Really? What made you so different?," oblivious to the other stares he was getting from the other customers.
"My death," He bluntly admitted, making Cartman almost choke on his food. 'Fuck'
"Oh," he flatly stated.
"Yeah, it was a hit back then. Everyone was talking about it, and people glorified me for it. As they say it was one the most radical deaths they've had ever heard happening," Jack explained, smiling by the memory, he found himself oddly proud of it. As it had benefited him in so much, and honestly he liked the attention on him, "As to expected I was very popular and was given many opportunities, like talk shows and lots and lots of 'money'," said emphasizing the last word.
Cartman stared at him for brief seconds, "money?," hint of greed in his words. Jack smiled by that, and nodded. He sure was his son.
"So.. how did you die?," he finally asked that anxious question he's been wanting to know.
"So like, I was kinda forced to help my annoying friends out to bring back chutulu to the underground, even though I didn't want to and wanted to just use chutulu to destroy 'DikinBaus' as because no one deserves such a wonderful place I made, and I was shot by the military by accident while I was on top of chutulu's head, falling straight to the ground," Cartman answered casually, squeezing some ketchup on his plate mimicking the blood he imagine leaving, sparing the costume details and the manipulation tactic he use too.
"Wow, I guess us Tenenorman just have it in us on dying radically and cool," Jack laughed excited with a fist in the air.
The name used took Cartman off guard. He was a Cartman after all! But it really warmed his heart to be complimented that much and it felt nice, being included for once. So he let it slide just this once.
"Yeah, I guess it is!," He exclaimed more confident and puffed his chest out, proud.
Jack gave him a warm smile and Cartman returned it back.
[...]
Jack had went on asking for some books he claimed as 'solutions' for Cartman's problem, while the boy decided to sit back and rethink his choices of the chilly incident and how different it would've been if they had just told him the truth.
Then, he felt a odd buzzing sound inside of his ear. He started smaking his left side with his palm.
"Cartman!," he.. 'was that Stan?', "Dude can you hear us? Are you there?."
'Holy shit, it is the hippie!'
"Stan?."
"Fatass?," another familiar voice chimed in.
"Aye! I Ain't fat you stupid jew!."
"Holy shit, Cartman dude!," Stan exclaimed a little too excited then he wanted to be. Cartman flinched by the intense noise in his ears, it was bothering him.
"Ow! Aye you damn hippie! Lower your voice will yah! My head hurts just hearing you guys!."
On the other side Kyle couldn't hold a smile. The other boys just laughed by being able to still annoy Cartman even being in a whole different life.
"So how's it going over there, Eric," Kenny asked.
"Yeah, you haven't lost ten thousand pounds over there by not eating junk food all day?," Kyle added, knowing well Cartman would answer back by the remark he leaned forward to the magic ball that was centered in the middle of the ouija.
"In the matter of fact, you dumb jew, I'm eating pretty well," The boy answered with puffed cheek and airs of superiority, "But things are going pretty well, it's boring as fuck though I was trying to find a way outta here," he then added. Not even questioning how they even managed to connect with him.
"And how's that going, Cartman?," Stan asked curiously. He really wanted to know if there was way.
Cartman took a few seconds to rehear his friend's question. He considered it a bit. After all, he was starting to find hell quite less boring now that he found his dad. He was not going to admit that to them though.
"Uh- well, I'm still on it. Not much luck though," he lied.
"Dammit Cartman, you fat fuck you really can't do shit with out us can you," Kyle then added, smirking slightly.
"Aye!."
The three boys started howling of laughter.
"Eric?."
Eric jolted in shock by the sudden voice behind him, reappearing to his vision. He reposition himself.
"Everything alright?," Jack answered a little concerned of his son behavior just now. He had just returned with some books at his hold while he witnessed Eric seemingly talking to himself.
It was nothing new to him that his son was mentally fucked up, so he has decided to shrug it off.
"Yeah, everything's alright."
'Who's that, fat boy?,' Stan asked.
"No one.." Cartman answered in a whisper.
"C'mon, Eric. Let's go to my place and discuss about your situation," Jack added with a nod gesturing to follow him.
Eric then pursued on following behind him.
[...]
"I guess we lost connection with Cartman," Kenny stated. As they no longer could hear their fat friend.
"How long will it take for us to be able to contact him again?," Kyle asked a little eager. He was finally being able to enjoy the presence of Cartman again, and honestly it was hard to admit he did miss it.
"Probably tomorrow," the blonde shrugged laying down on his bed, "maybe we should try asking the goths if they know how to bring a person back from the depths of hell."
"That sounds like a good idea," Stan chimed in.
The three were now determined on bringing Cartman back.
On the other side, Cartman found himself admiring his father's pent house. It had one of the most amazing views of hell. He stared at the window for a brief long period while seeing every store, house, streets, even the small from afar hell citizens.
And don't get him started on his gaming room! There was also a personal gym 'meh' who gives a damn about exercise. He continued looking through the home. Big kitchen, bathroom, room.
Wow, literal heaven.
There was a box full of condoms on one of the kitchen counters which his dad immediately hid when he found the boy inspecting the area.
He followed behind him with his arms cross on his back, he liked how much Eric was admiring his success with those big innocent looking eyes, though he knew deep inside that image, he was a little devil just like his mother. Both innocent looking yet easy to sugarcoat someone into giving them what they want, making them devilish.
He remembered venting with pride to his son Scott about being a Denver bronco and the games his won, all the attention he received because of it looking for praise from him, but received none but a small nod while he presided on listening to music. Maybe because he was a teen and no longer interested in hearing about their parents accomplishments and tales.
But Eric, oh small little Eric found everything he did amusing and exciting! He enjoyed that.
"Okay, uh.. Jack?," the boy spoke, uncertain what to call him.
"You can call me dad," The redhead added too quickly, he 'tsch' silently.
It went silent again. Jack figured it'll be a matter of time for things to settle down and fix on it's own.
Cartman had his mouth slightly agape staring at his father trying to pick on any slight hint of bluff in him. But found none. 'No one wanted to be his dad' no one dare tried to be.
Jack was starting to feel a little uncomfortable 'maybe it was too soon?' Before the boy spoke up.
"O-okay, dad," he said with a flat line as his mouth.
That word just felt so cursed coming out of his mouth.
Jack beamed.
[...]
A whole week has passed and the boys were no longer able to contact Cartman. Kyle began to worry if something must have happened to his idiotic friend while in search of an exit from hell.
They had failed miserably to summon Cartman back. Tried the various forms the goths have told them to do. But nothing worked. And now they had lost the only connection they had towards him, Cartman was just too much to bring back he supposed.
Stan had suggested that it may be because he was too fat to fit in any of the portals made. He found that funny cause it was most likely to happen.
He sigh.
The boys decided to just start looking for a new replacement. As they had already gripped on the idea on the other boy's return being less possible.
So here he was. Being the one chosen to pick the new Eric Cartman.
"So why again do I have to pick him?," he asked with a frown expression, having cupped his cheek with the palm of his hand.
"Because, the new Cartman has to be able to keep up with you," Stan stated the obvious.
Kyle raised a brow by that, "What's that supposed to mean?."
"It means, that if he were to be put in a stupid situation where he pissed you off enough to riled you up, then he must be able to budge through with it."
"Doubt it," He said bored. He wasn't interested in finding a new Cartman, he wanted his Cartman back. Their Cartman back.
"Okay, kid. You got the rules?," Stan questioned, eyeing a brunette chubby boy. His name was Tobias. The boy tilted his head not as sure.
"So.. I just can't fight back?," he asked displeased, wrinkling his nose. 'Kinda like cartman' Kyle thought.
"No. You fight back in a sketchy scheme to bite back at Kyle," Kenny explained balancing a pencil with his mouth, "you just let Kyle beat you up."
"But- that's not fair! How can I just let this dude just beat me up?."
Kyle was just standing next to him eyeing the boy. Already annoyed by this interaction. A good start he supposed.
"Dude, it's Kyle you just-" Stan gripped the bridge of his nose to calm himself down, "look, you be an ass, then Kyle beats you up for it. Get it? That's how their dynamic works."
Still not reassured by the answer the boy looked at Kyle in a stance for a fight.
Kyle then did a stance, about to prepare punching the kid. But before even giving him a throw, the boy flinched and cover himself up with his arms.
"Damn, what a pussy," Stan said.
"Ay! I ain't no pussy!," he shouted, his fist were clenched, and his cheeks were red with embarrassment, frowning his face.
"Go on," Kenny tune in, finally fully focusing on the boy, an eye brow raised.
"W-well.. you guys are a bunch of assholes! Fuck you guys!."
"Okay, okay," the blonde boy raised his hands, grinning from ear to ear, "and what am I?," he closed his eyes putting a hand in one of his ears waiting for the correct answer.
"A poor piece of shit!," the boy in question exclaimed, "you're a stupid hippie. That only -" he points at Stan. And continued bashing on all three of us.
Stan and Kenny were grinning widely while Kyle felt a little sting is his chest.
They found their Cartman.
[...]
Cartman on the other hand had been laying down on the living room couch, with a very thin blanket as the environment he was in was already quite warm. Atleast for what his father had explained to him. The weather is only based on just two season changes. Summer and 'winter'. Summer is burning hell, winter it's freezing hell as if it were wanting to snow in literal hell, but it never does. Ofcourse, they were in summer when he had arrived, and it'll be like that for the next eight months.
The TV was on and it was kinda late at night for what he supposed called 'hell hour'. Their night time.
His eyelids were half lifted, tired. He won't deny the first few days spending time with his dad we're great, with the exception of the crappy so called 'food' he made, it was just too.. let's say bland 'healthy'. Unlike his mom's amazing cooking nothing could compare. But he had adapted to it very quickly as Jack had promised him to go out for some yummy foods as a 'treat'. He supposed he could endure the torture for a couple more days as long as he was still able to play with all his video games.
But the more the clock ticks the more bored he gets, the more un-patience he gets. Jack also wasn't always home compared to his mother. He had work, and had explained to him this is how he owns such nice things and keeps things in check under 'their' rooftop. He was barely home, and not only that he'd come back with lady friends and takes them to bed with him, claiming they were there for business. What he's not aware of, is that he's already very familiar with the so called 'business' before. His mother has finally mellow down on it but this prick doesn't seem on ending it anytime soon as some college freshman.
He had guessed his former wife had ended up in heaven as she is no longer in the picture and the man never mentions her. Taking this as a opportunity to sleep around with as many women he could get, just like with his mother. He frown by the thought.
He sigh, as he knows better than to knock on the grown man's door. He knew he had taken a lady friend with him inside, he didn't even bother glancing at him before taking her inside. So he layyed there. In that silent room, all by himself hearing the TV noises slowly being blocked by his brain.
He missed south park.
He missed his friends, and his bitch of a mom.
He closed his eyes. And then he jolted back up.
'That's it!' He exclaimed to himself.
He went through all the pages of the books Jack had brought, claiming they could 'help' which he never bother bringing up again cause he was distracting Eric with other cool more interesting stuff than returning him back to South park. For Eric's surprise they were a bunch of cooking recipes 'nothing of actual use!', he frown angrily. 'That motherfucker!' Literally.
He quietly tip toe to another shelf and started going through each individual book but found nothing. He was getting desperate as he was wondering how could Jack keep that information from him when it was literally the whole reason he found him for.
Then, when he was about to give up a green book had ended up smacking his head 'ow!', it had fell from above the shelf. But there was something special about that book that made him peek inside. There was code written in the back part of the book. He wondered where to use it for but was immediately answered as he look at the front cover. It was the best hint.
He slowly open the front door to sneak out and successfully do so. He ran trough each hall way of that huge building and had entered the elevator tapping a button for the ground floor.
He waited patiently, and had entered the shallow hallway. The book was titled 'room fith'.
He open the room and for his luck, it was opened. Everything was empty, a plain green painted room. He stood there confused thinking in 'what' he had calculated wrong.
Before 'snap!' The ground open immediately letting him fall straight into some cushions. The fall didn't feel so deep. But the whole secrecy makes it all skeptical, as if there's something to hide.
He looked around the small room, it was adorned with many satanic symbols, candles, glasses with sand and there were plenty of papers spread in the floors like rituals. He examine each one and approach the table that had many finished and unfinished work. Building plans, maps from areas of hell he hasn't heard of. He figured this was all work of his father as he can recall his writing from the small notes he had left him in the counter before heading for work explaining how to use certain things of the kitchen and wishing him a 'have a nice hell day' before adding 'you're not allowed to go outside'. Kinda controlling not gonna lie.
He flipped through plans and saw many other rituals of summoning. Who knows, he may be able to summon Kyle here? He snorted of the thought of pissing his friend off by bringing him to hell.
But then stop his tracks when he looked under the table to find a small safe, his eyes widen at the revelation 'this is it! This is were he's supposed to add the code.'
"What're you doing there champ?."
He jolted scared turning into the opposite direction.
Jack was smirking slightly while having his arms cross.
"Guess you're enjoying the tour huh," he approached slowly stopping three steps away from Eric.
The boy gulped felling this huge uneasy felling between them, sweating uncontrollably. He felt small for the first time in his whole life, looking at the older man's eyes.
Before being knocked out.
[...]
He opened his eyes and felt his arms tied to a wooden surface unable to move, he notice once adjusting his vision that he was in fact tied up in a chair. He freaked out, this feels oddly familiar.
He then turned his gaze upwards looking straight ahead. Seeing his father sitting down in a couch from that same room, arms were cross around his chest, man spreading but his gaze was straight towards him. He gulped once more. 'He really looks like Scott right now'.
Jack immediately lightened up once he saw Eric awake, he then proceeded to speak.
"Oh, Eric you're awake!," he beamed, forcing a cheerful tone. He didn't want the boy to realize how disappointed he was for catching him trying to escape, "look, Eric, I'm not gonna hurt you," he tried justifying his actions while he stood up.
"You knock me out and tied me into a chair you crazy bitch!."
"BECAUSE someone decided to bash in a forbidden area," Jack defended, he disliked the naming but bit his tongue.
"Cause you lied to me of helping me get out! Those books you brought were all cooking recipes!."
"Well, yes, they will be of help once you're older, champ! I didn't lie," the red head continued explaining while searching through his drawer, "Eric I want you to know that I'm just doing this for the best for you."
The boy remained silent which gave Tenorman the opportunity to continue reasoning.
"I want you to be able to accomplish your goals, I want you to become successful and I want you to be able to follow my steps in hell."
"What? Fuck that! I don't want to be a business man!."
"Eric, I see so much potential in you and have no plans on letting you waste it like your brother."
Eric froze by the mentioned of Scott.
"Unless you'd prefer ending up living in a old dusty hotdog like your mother lead you too?," Jack said with a blank face showing a couple of prints that had many, and I meant many incidents involving Cartman, "When you first approached me, that same night I made a huge search and found so much information on you, Eric, so, so much. You're quite a special boy," he added with a little hum.
"Scott has lost all his marbles, and as hard it is to admit it. I don't see him giving a good name for the Tenormans."
"Fuck the Tenormans! I'm no Tenorman!."
"But you are, Eric," there was a glint of greed in those eyes, something that made Eric's skin scrawled, "in fact, you're more of a Tenorman than a Cartman," he took out a scrapbook from the left side of his drawer.
He flipped through it and stopped in one, deciding to show the boy what was in it.
It was a old newspaper with a young man, probably in his mid-thirties he had ginger looking features but it looked like him, a way older version of him. He had a smirk on while being dragged by cops in the picture, his features resemble pure chaotic vibes. You just knew by seeing a glance of this man, he was trouble.
The article had titled 'psycho man rigged presidential election'. Eric gulped again.
"That's your great grandfather," he then picked up another of his prints, "you know who also tried rigging a presidential election?," Jack added smirking while showing a picture of Cartman and the head of Disney along of millions of election votes.
He then showed him another article, he so called great grandfather was standing next to three other boys picking on one in peculiar, he supposed a friend. He seemed jewish as he had a star of david necklace on him. This article had nothing too chaotic on it, they just use those four teens as an example of 'what not to be'.
Then his dad showed him a picture of his three friends and himself. One where he was in fact, taunting his jewish friend.
He sigh.
"Okay? That means nothing! I want to get back home!."
"That's the thing, Eric, you're not," Jack said, calming placing delicately the scrap on top of the drawer, "I'm protecting you, by the evil of yourself, the evil of your great grandfather's soul on you and the evil of your mother's influence," he pointed, sitting back down comfortably in the couch.
"I'll actually put of good use of your skill and potentials, someone like you Eric should always waste their potential in something actually beneficial than to just fuck around with," Jack lit up a cigar while he continued his rant, "that's what your great grandfather did wrong, and that's what you're doing wrong. Putting your motives and desires into unbeneficial things, un important things. And for what? Just for a three second laugh before being dragged away to jail or to a 'pyscho ward'?," he denied with his head looking at his expensive shoes, smiling after emphasizing his last sentence.
"You mother fucker.." Eric murmured finally realized what the ginger meant, Jack smirked in understanding, "Scott.. he didn't just go crazy because of what I did, he was already going crazy before I enter his life I just pushed him forward to actually snap!," the boy exclaimed scared.
"Ding ding ding!," Jack nodded happily, "see, you're very smart."
Cartman really wanted to go, run away and hide himself under the warm covers of his bed, under his mother's care far away from this crazy bitch!
Jack had left claiming he'd get him some food.
There he was just sitting there afraid, he really prayed for a miracle, just one more miracle in literal hell!
He closed his eyes tight trying to imagine himself being just trapped in a really bad nightmare.
The boy found the switch in personalities amusing, as it were so sudden and unexpected. In a blink of an eye the man that was seen as a caring cool father turned into a crazy psychotic lunatic! He really started missing his mom.
He felt himself uncomfortable felling the ropes being sunken in his flesh, hurting him and he felt having cramps in his calves, it hurted like hell and he couldn't do anything about it. He began crying outta desperation.
Then, he felt a buzz in his ears once more 'guys?'
His eyes lit up.
"Is there someone there?," he asked sniffing his snot back inside as it was running down his mouth.
"Cartman?."
"Kyle?," the brunette boy smile, 'there was still hope after all!'
"Kahl! You gotta help me! Kahl!," the boy cried with no shame. It isn't unusual for him to seek help from his ginger friend when he had fucked up and needed help solving it, "I can't! I'm all tied up and I-I-! Bwaaahh!!!," he cried louder.
"Okay, Cartman calm down!," his friend responded, "what happened? Is everything okay?."
"No! Nothings okay you stupid fuck!," the chubby boy eyes were all puffed up and red, while he felt his throat dry up, "this fucker lied to me! He lieeed!"
"Who lied to you?," he didn't hear Kyle ask as he cut him off continuing explaining his current situation.
"I need help! I'm tied up in 'jak n off' hotel in room five the ground floor! I'm at the bottom!," He cried once again, between breaths he hold back tears, he was freaking out. He was scared, and he was alone.
Then snapped back nervously when he heard a door open from behind him.
"Hey, Eric. I got you some grilled cheese sandwiches in hopes for you to cheer up a bit, my little future super star," said Jack beaming mimicking his mother's tone, it had sent shivers down the boy's spine, "I don't want you gaining too much weight though, or you'll be seen as a piggy for the rest of your life. And no one, likes, pigs."
"Cartman? Are you still there? Cartman!?," he heard his friend's voice.
He remained silent not trying to reveal his last only solution outta this mess, blocking also Tenorman's hurtful words.
"Why Eric! Look at you, you look like a mess," Jack put the sandwiches aside while running to his drawer and taking out a box of tissues and wipes. He then approached the boy and started wiping his face. Cleaning all remaining leftover tears and the snot that had started to dry up in his mouth.
[...]
"Dude, how the hell are we gonna go find Cartman if he's in hell," Stan exclaimed confused about his best friend's claims.
"The only solution is one of us dying," Kyle said with a frown, determinant on finding cartman.
"Dude!?," the latter responded with a brow raised and his arms raised in 'wtf', "dude I don't want to die! There's so much I want to do" looking at the ground thinking about the thousands of board games he hasn't played yet.
"Yeah, me neither!," exclaimed, Tobias.
Kenny remained silent staring at the red head.
"No one has to die, but me," Kyle spoke, he lowered his gaze. He knew it was risky, "I'm offering myself to do it," but it was worth the shot.
"Kyle that's the most crazy shit I've ever heard you say!."
"It's the only way! Nothing else has worked!."
"No, I'll do it."
The three boys turned their head towards Kenny. He had a frown and he seemed to not fear losing anything. Cause he wouldn't.
Kenny had already tried getting back into hell, dying various times to see if he could find Cartman but for some reason he hasn't been able to get a hold of the underground world. Waking back to life the next day. As in some sorta temporary limbo.
"That's okay, Kenny," Kyle reassured with a smile," I know you have your siblings to care of.. and well, I know Ike would have my mom and dad to take care of him, just in case I don't come back."
"Kyle, I'll do it. Eric is my best friend after all," Kyle's words was heartwarming but he wasn't gonna risk losing another friend.
Kyle frown reconsidering it. He then proceeded to nod.
They had left the Marsh residence as they wanted to be as far as possible from any witnesses, they went inside the weed 'garden'.
They found a solid ground far away from the farm. Atleast enough for a bullet to not be able to hear from a distance.
They got into a circle and Kenny stood in middle of the three.
He took the gun out, and pulled the trigger with not even a second thought. But there was nothing, just a small click everytime he pulled the trigger.
"What the fuck?," the blond asked confused looking up at Kyle.
"Sorry, Kenny I couldn't let you do that," his friend stated before pulling out a gun out of his jacket and pointed at his head 'that crazy son of a bitch' Kenny thought eyes wide open in panic, "here goes nothing," 'BANG' was all he heard before hearing the other two boys scream.
"Kyle no!," Stan shouted with his hands gripped into his head staring at his now dead friend, his face covered in Kyle's blood, "Jesus christ!!."
"Holy fuck," the brunette boy said horrified, "you guys are crazy! I no longer want to be part of this stupid group!," he screamed horrified before dashing away no longer looking back.
[...]
"¡AHHH!," Kyle found himself screaming while falling straight into what it seems to be lava. He looked upwards meeting with a pair of people staring at him. Is he really in hell right now? Fuck, he needed to start behaving once he's back in south park. He got up and managed to get out of the pit with ease.
He looked around, people forming circles partying here and there. There was lights everywhere even though it was pretty much lit already. Stores, buildings even food stands. 'No wonder that fat fuck didn't complain about being hungry' he thought to himself. Hell didn't seem bad at all! Well with the exception of the public torture displayed in front of him, he didn't seemed to mind it as much as he felt he should. What the literal hell?
He went to what appeared to be a big wooden cartel for new hell residents with the instructions on how to get back in their feet and their new purposes and do's, 'fuck that', he went where there was a map with all the locations needed to know. Also, pamphlets. He picked one and opened it. He recall Cartman mentioning a hotel called 'jak n off' and pursued following the directions given.
He then stood in front of a yellow building.
Okay, first instruction checked. Now, room fifth of the ground floor. But he stopped before doing any further action. He recalled his friend claiming there was someone with him 'what if they're still there?' He thought before considering a different approach.
Meanwhile...
"Holy shit, Kenny! What do we do!?," Stan said in panic, gesturing the other boy's dead body.
"Okay, Stan. Just listen carefully," the blonde had his right hand as a 'stop' gesturing to calm down.
He saw his friend breathing heavily, closing his eyes trying to regulate his heartbeat and breathing.
'he's just a crazy as Cartman!' That realization made the boy's eyes widen, "Holy shit," He spoke, now gripping into Kenny shoulders while the other boy flinched by the sudden action, "that was just as crazy level as Cartman!," he exclaimed his concerns.
Kenny loosen up from the grip before picking Kyle's body from head to shoulder. He gesture with his head for the other boy to help him with the other half.
Stan hesitated a bit but followed through.
"Fuck."
[...]
"Hmhm hmm!," Jack nodded repeatedly when he had finished re-dressing his off spring. He had bought him a little business suite the other day but had found this time appropriate to give.
The boy had refused and complained when the man attempted to take his clothes off but then failed immediately from his strength. 'Something beneficial from being a Denver bronco' he thought. He proceeded to submit.
Once back tied in the chair, his father turned him around being front of a large mirror.
'Ofcourse he was handsome' but he did not like being force to do things against his own will.
"Eric Tenorman," the man spoke with pride, "doesn't that just sound right?."
Eric gulped. He hated that name.
"Look at you, looking like a professional business man already!," he beamed again, "I'll be right back I'm gonna go fetch some wine."
"When are you planning to untie me!?," the boy wince when he saw a spider slowly going down on him.
A laugh as it were a joke was made, "oh, Eric," he then walked out.
None long after he had heard a loud 'thump' from behind him, he looked instead in the mirror and his eyes widen of excitement.
"Kahal!"
"Cartman?," the boy asked while standing up, he had fallen down from the cushions, ass straight to the ground, "Holy shit, dude! You alright?," he asked approaching him, he proceeded to untie the boy.
Kyle looked around a bit and proceeded to look at the boy that was stretching his back. He heard some cracking and popping.
'He looked like shit'
"We have to get outta here!," Cartman said before dragging Kyle from hand to hand outta the dark room. He was grateful he manage to see how his father summoned a door. But he stopped returning to the safe and grabbing the book and papers that were in there, once again gripping onto Kyle's hands dragging him out.
Once they were safe. They had ran out of the building, running towards the entrance of hell through the amount of new people that had arrived, and found themselves hidden behind 'Sussie's Buttocks' club.
Cartman sigh and Kyle just watched him with a frown brow.
With out further warning Cartman hugged the boy tight leaving Kyle speechless tensing his shoulders and his hands were up in the air unable to figure out if to correspond or just let the boy finish. He decided the second option.
"Thank you, Kyle! You came! I can't believe it!."
The boy loosen up the tension he had felt on his shoulders and just kept silent, letting his arch rival embrace him with his warmth. He could feel Cartman's rapid heart beat.
"Just so you know, I'm just here cause I couldn't stand your replacement," he said finally getting out of the boy's grip.
"Ay! You guys replace me already!?," Cartman protested angry while pouting.
The ginger smirked. With out realizing he felt himself hugging the boy tight. 'Fuck, he actually missed him', he buried his head under Cartman's shoulders as he felt him tense.
Kyle then let go, gazing at Cartman who had his eyes widen and the most heated red cheeks, mouth agape 'he looked gay' he thought. The boy then proceeded to lean towards him causing Cartman to panic as he weakly slapped him backwards snapping him out to his senses.
"Okay so who are we hiding from?," the red head spoke while he dust off the dirt on his jacket.
"Jack Tenorman."
Kyle's attention back to Cartman, in shock, "your dad?."
He nodded before vomiting. Everthing was all so overwhelming. Everthing his father revealed, his great grandfather and how home sick he felt, how much he missed his friends and mom. His insides twisted as he felt shivers all over him.
He made sure to point at Kyle's seamlessly new shoes though
"Ow gross, dude!."
[...]
Kenny found himself desperately wanting to go to hell but no matter how much he tried, he just couldn't. As if there were something blocking him by going.
He sigh, legs crossed next to Kyle's rotten body, flies piling up around him. He and Stan had hid themselves in Randy's shed. They weren't certain if to burry him or not so they toss him in there while both took turns checking outside for any future witnesses which they failed miserably because Stan's dad had went for a quick smoke hidding from Sharon, and looked at them, glancing at both boys before looking at Kyle 'ohhh' he murmured, both brows were raised before closing the door slowly, leaving.
Kenny then took out the ouija board and place it in the ground. Might aswell try to contact Kyle.
"Any luck?," Stan asked wincing from the smell that was coming out of his best friend.
"No," Kenny tried cutting some more blood out of his wrist, carefully not making the wound any deeper. They needed a living mortal's blood to be able to contact the dead.
"Do you think he went to heaven?."
"Nah, man. You really think one of us will end up there after the amount of shit we've down?," he had went to heaven before but it was a one time thing, after he started simply caring less about his deaths he became bolder and is no longer admitted into heaven.
Besides he recalled Kyle unintentionally killing a bunch of Canadians that was enough reason to be sent to hell.
"Good point."
Cartman and Kyle found themselves looking through rituals and plans, they inspected the book while Kyle flipped through pages then stopped pointing at one.
"Here 'lay the one and only chosen one for the path to open, a bright light as blindfold being turned to one'," then continued reading the next paragraph, " 'the second gripped to life, will become sacrifice to give light as they are two'."
"What's that supposed to mean?."
"As they are two.." Kyle reread trying to add sense to what was written, brows knitted together, "that's it," He said looking at the drawings of two men one represented death, the other life. While life was seen switching places with death.
He flipped through the rest of the pages reading new paragraphs and prophecies.
'Misplace the two bounded souls and fear it's wrath between worlds, as they are one'
'Life and death which are shown to be bounded by a soul'
'Death is life, life is death, a curse forming in between them as the new bounded soul is created'
He flipped through the next page and eyes widen. It was a drawing of Kenny and Cartman. 'Holy shit'
"Did you find anything?," Cartman asked while laying down on his stomach, making paper airplanes with the loose pages that were spread on the floor as he had gotten bored.
"Well, there you are my special little boy."
Both boys gasped turning around while they got up, Kyle having gripped the book on his chest. He walked backwards placing an arm on Cartman backing away slowly shielding him
'Cartman was our way out' he told himself, justifying his actions as if it were the first time he found himself protecting the fat fuck. Which it wasn't.
Jack stood there with his arms crossed behind his back, grinning eyeing the book then looking back at Kyle.
"I see you brought a friend to play, Eric," he took a pistol out from the inside of his suite pocket.
Both dashed outta there running through the multiple people that were all formed in circles. Hearing Tenorman shout from a far 'Ay! come back here!'
'Like father like son'.
Kyle panted hardly while trying to grasp some air, Cartman was knocked out cold on the floor. Hopefully they were far enough from Tenorman.
A buzzing feeling in his ear caught his attention, he held it because of the intense pain it did as if that were gonna stop it. Blood trailing down his cheek he looked at the hand he had held himself with 'my ear is bleeding'.
"Kyle?," the boy in question jolted.
"Kenny!?"
"Dude finally! We were worried sick for you!."
"Is he there? Kyle? Are you there!? You crazy piece of shit! Jesus christ!," Stan chimed in," are you alright? Did you find Cartman?."
"Yeah, he's right here," he looked at the boy that was now trying to stand up. He offered a hand while the boy reached out and was pull up to his feet again. He looked tired, uncharacteristically tired. It gave Kyle an uneasy feeling as he remembered what he had read 'Misplace the two bounded souls and fear it's wrath between worlds, as they are one' he assumed Cartman may be 'life'.
"Okay cool, have you guys find a way out?."
"Is that the hippie?," Cartman asked finally paying attention to the buzzy feeling of his own ears.
"Yeah.." Kyle whispered more to himself than to anyone else, "Kenny?"
"Yeah? I'm here dude."
"Look this is gonna sound crazy but,"
'Bang'
"¡AAH!," Kyle looked at Cartman who had screamed in horror, then looked at his now wounded chest half lifted eyes before feeling his legs weakened.
'Fuck' was the only thing that came out before knocking out on the floor.
'Kyle!?'
'Kyle!?'
'Kyle!'
The boy slowly felt himself waking up by the sound of Stan's voice rumbling in his ears. He grunted, feeling sharp pains in his chest were he was previously shot, but managed to stand up.
He looked at his hands an feet, then his chest. It seemed to have healed as if it never happened 'had he dreamt it?' He looked around and found himself in the entrance of hell once more. Cartman was no longer at sight.
"Fuck," he frown 'this was being dragged too much', "Kenny, are you there?."
"Yeah man, what happened? We lost you for like an hour!."
"An hour? Holy shit.. okay, Kenny. I'm not crazy but I think you're 'death'."
"What."
"Yeah. I have a satanic looking book on me that has you drawn in here stating that you're bound into a soul."
"W-what?.."
"Yeah.. as crazy as it sounds but you're bonded. Not only are you bounded but to Cartman of all people."
"What!?," he heard both friends shout in unison.
"Look I don't know much for sure, but that's what I've gotten from what's written here. It says we need both of you to be able to get out."
"But how? I'm not allowed in hell."
"What?," he found himself confused by that comment but shrugged it off, "look 'the chosen soul must be into one of understanding to open a door through life and death' i- I honestly got lost by that point," Kyle admitted nodding to himself.
" 'The chosen soul must be into one of understanding to open a door through life and death..'," Kenny found himself repeating the words. He frowned.
Cartman and him were bounded.. but how? But why? Life and death. If he was death that makes Cartman life. Which having him in the underworld makes it not possible to be 'life'.
Death.. death is life. Which would makes sense if he were to die and revive.
Would that mean switching places with Cartman? As he found himself in life and he in death. All this is messing up his mind.
Would that mean what's been blocking him from both heaven and hell and keeping him in a sorta limbo state is because he's slowly becoming life? And Cartman..
'fuck'
"Kenny?," Stan's voice snapped him back.
"We need to find a way to bring Cartman back and quick!."
The chubby boy felt his body weakened while he was carried by his father. He had taken him to the rooftop of the building he owned while gripping tight with steel chains his wrists and legs into some torture table he had put there.
Half lifted eyes stared to the ground. He felt like shit.
His father stood there with clasped hands eyeing him everywhere as he was some golden trophy, as he were just waiting for something. But he couldn't grasp what it was.
"Did I ever mentioned you that Liane was part of a cult?," spoke Jack.
Cartman just kept silent as he began coughing badly.
The grown man walked towards him taking out a tissue from his pocket cleaning some of the trail blood he had cough out 'the fuck!?'
"When I first met your mother it wasn't at some stupid party your town folks had told you about. I met her in a cult meeting. I was young and was told they will be free booze," He reveal while fixing the boys now untied tie, "we felt attraction immediately and bonded over the fact that we were both there for booze, laugh it off and things just lead to an other," continued while shrugging.
Cartman found himself feeling his muscles spasm.
"I'm the good guy Eric! I would've never asked for this to have happen to you if I knew," he then place his hand onto his chest as an innocent demeanor, "your mother is to blame."
"The thing is, unlike me, Liane ended up getting too into the cult meeting and had unintentionally set herself up with two other soon to be parents, she had dragged me in, unaware of what would happened. She found it silly and fun and I found it a little creepy but followed through cause I was just too wasted to care about the odd rituals the other members were putting us in 'everthing for a piece of that' I kept telling myself."
The boy cut him off he began to have various seizures that lasted for up to three seconds before repeating itself, he felt his mouth grasping for air and being choked by his own saliva. His fingers twitched and his feet curled.
"And then, months after, you were born," unfazed the man wiped the saliva off his cheeks, "ofcourse by the time you were born I had no longer any contact with Liane and that so called meeting became a fuzzy memory for me."
"But, Eric," he approached the boy, face to face, "this, it's life changing," the boy heard while still trying to grasp for air, his vision long gone as it became blurry.
"Imagine, a Tenorman being able to switch in between worlds! Being able to use this curse and becoming one of the most powerful beings on both worlds," He ranted for himself, with every word being said his eyes dilated. Malicious, greed, selfishness surfacing, "not being able to die! HaHA! We'd be unstoppable!."
'Bang'
Tenorman fell into the floor.
Kyle then reloaded his shotgun while two other boys stood next to him.
"Stan help me with Cartman!," Kenny order running towards the almost unconscious boy. Stan nodded following.
They had manage to summon Satan while being in the upper world. Luckily Satan owed Stan a favor and it was just all convenient.
They managed to release Cartman by pressing a button that was place under the table with the label 'release' on it.
Kenny held the boy who convulsions worsened.
"Eric can you hear me?."
"K-kinny? Dammit kinny! Get out my death sequence," the boy complained even though his eyes looked elsewhere.
"You're not gonna die fat boy! You're already in hell."
"Oh, right," His body stiffened trying his best to take control but failed miserably once more, "how's it going?."
The comment made the blonde boy cracked a smile, "look Eric," he gently caress cartman's hair.
'That's gay' he heard the boy remark but ignored it.
"It'll be hard to believe this.. but I die," Kenny revealed, "like all the time," he sigh, feeling the glances of his other two friends on him.
"I know."
Kenny's eyes widen, "no, like I mean it, I die all the time!."
"I know," his chubby friend frown feeling stupid by hearing his best friend seemingly finding it hard for him to remember the obvious. And because of the condition he's in 'duh' he didn't feel like arguing, "I can tell you death by death, each and single one with detail and date."
Kenny was left with his mouth opened, speechless, he couldn't believe it. 'Is he really telling the truth or is he fucking with me?' All this time he's been looking for someone atleast one person that could remember. And he was there all along infront of him, someone he least expected.
"And you didn't bother on telling me!?," Kenny said angry, he felt his eyes water.
Cartman twitch in his arms, "nobody seemed to mentioned anything, and you never asked. I figured it may have been a bad dream or not as important cause nobody seem to believe me the few times I did mention it, they all looked at me weird as it I we're delusional," the boy admitted.
Now that he thought about it. The times he has admitted to someone about his curse, Cartman was never present. Which meant he had never given the opportunity to answer him. And when he mentioned it he was either dead or not around to tell.
Like if it were intentional for both boys to not be able to share this moment until now.
"You know what's messed up?," cartman's voice snapped him back, he had a weak smile plastered, "I began to be so use to it, it was easy to use your deaths. Like the time you were in the death bed or the time I had convinced everyone it would be best to disconnect you to have your psp, or being able to better my vision stealing one of your eyes, I knew you'd come back, you always did."
Kenny's eyes sparked in amusement 'he really did remember'.
"But the first few times.. kinny they were horrifying, I still feel uneasy but it isn't as before," his body twitch some more while he complained about the pain in his arms and legs, "I remember the rats eating your flesh, I remember trying to shoo them away cause you still weren't dead."
Kenny watched his friend with such warmth as if it were a cute tale he was retelling.
"The time Kyle killed you with a chainsaw," 'I what?' They heard their ginger friend asked confused but ignored it, "being killed by a bull, eaten by some pterodactyl, by oral sex, squished, run over," the boy shaked, the pain decreasing the more closer he got to kenny. On the other hand kenny was feeling immense warmth in his chest, like literal fire. 'Hell, It's really burning!'
Kenny remembered always being close in a certain way with Cartman, they even were once trapped together by his soul because the stupid idiot had eaten his ashes.
He glance down at Cartman who had let his head fall into his lap, smiling. 'This was kinda gay' he thought.
He felt the boy latching on to him, and he won't deny he felt the sudden urge to do the same which he unintentionally did. The burning sensation in his chest increased the pain, becoming unbearable 'fuuuuuck!'
On the other hand Cartman never felt more peaceful in Kenny's arms, he felt like he was in the clouds and couldn't recall why the sensation just felt like he was falling but there was no fear of an impact just comfort with in the clouds and sky.
Stan and Kyle didn't bare interrupt the two boys as they knew it was needed to get out and Kenny knew how to do it but they couldn't help feeling a little discomfort as this felt intimate and private. Atleast for Stan it wasn't displeasing just disturbing while with Kyle it was the opposite. He found the boys sudden closeness displeasing he just didn't know why.
Sudden the back door sling open reveling Jack. Kyle prepared his gun and pointed at him making him stop in his tracks.
"You guys don't know what're you're doing! Fuck, ¡no!," He exclaimed once he saw Kenny holding on to Cartman and vice-versa. He knew there was no longer takes back as their ritual bound was already in the stages of ending.
The two boys burst into flames seemingly showing no response to it. Atleast from Cartman's part, internally for Kenny it was a pain in the ass but he didn't show it. Sweat begin to pop up in his skin and his nails digged up in Cartman's suit, wincing his eyes shut.
Their silloette formed a door which proceeded to opened.
"Dude! I think it's the portal!," Stan exclaimed getting near it, while Kyle shot Tenorman in the head once more before following Stan. Not after glancing at Kenny and Cartman before jumping through the portal.
Cartman then layyed down flat finally letting go of Kenny. The blonde watched him while he started twisting in pain 'this is it' he then looked at Cartman, suddenly understanding before proceeding to enter the portal, finally vanishing.
Kenny sigh as he turned into ashes finally dying.
[...]
"Morning dudes," Kenny salute, beaming. He was in a good mood after all.
"Sup Kenny," Stan greeted.
"Hey Kenny," Kyle added.
"Cartman hasn't arrived yet?."
"That fat fuck probably forgot to turn his alarm on," the red head spoke with a yawn.
"Or, he did set an alarm but ignored it," Stan added.
"Either sound possible."
Not long after Cartman got on the bus greeting them.
"Hey dipshits!," he proceeded to take a seat next to Kenny who grinned at him, "so how you guys dealing after the hell incident?," he asked.
Stan and Kyle just raised a brow confused.
"What're you talking about, fatass?," Kyle then added while frowning not wanting to deal with Cartman's shit again this early in the morning.
"Yeah, dude, you alright?," Stan chimed in.
Kenny stared at Cartman still beaming while he saw the bigger boy's face turned in disbelief.
"Dude! I literally died a horrible death not long ago! Remember? Hell!? Kyle you literally went to save me!," he screamed.
"Did he also came in a shining armor?," Stan teased while both best friends, then, howl in laughter.
Cartman pouted bitterly. Kenny put a hand on his shoulder understanding well enough the feeling. The boy glance at him.
"Welcome to the club," he smiled.
Cartman looked up at the two boys infront of him that still found themselves laughing then looked at Kenny, smiling back.
"This sucks ass."
They both chuckled.
[...]
Kyle found himself approaching Cartman while they were entering the school entrance.
"Hey, fatass."
"What up," the fat boy answered while he took out his phone.
"About me saving you did I also bring a sword?," he bite his upper lip before bursting into laughter.
"Ha ha very funny Kahal," the boy said bitterly, "actually not only did you showed up in a shining armor, a sword, but you also kissed me on the lips as I was the damsel in distress." honestly was not the best combat but it was the first thing that came into spot. He wasn't planning to let Kyle have the last word after feeling still bitter about the red head not recalling the previous events.
Kyle was left baffled by that. For some reason Cartman's stupidity was beyond compression but the mystical accusation left him speechless.
Cartman had already proceeded on leaving to class but Kyle just stood there blank hearing a small noise in his ears that kinda sounded like 'hootie and the blowfish'.
In class Kenny had both his hands clenched, excited. He never felt more happy knowing someone does remember! Not only that, but the bound ritual just made their bound strengthen, as he watched Cartman knowing the other boy felt the same. He knew the feelings were true cause he felt it, they both felt each other when their soul united once more 'as gay as that sounds'. Cartman looked back at him sharing that same beaming felling before returning to bother Wendy interrupting her speech with slurs an unwanted opinions.
He always felt alone knowing no one remember him dying, an as much as he had his moments despising Cartman there was now this warmth comforting feeling that someone other than him knew, even if it were a bigot like Cartman. It's not like he could complain much after all, they will be forever bounded by a soul so there's no preventing being connected to one an other.
But he'd care less, he wasn't alone no more.
He smiled once again, he's been feeling all giggly all morning, he just couldn't help it. He was happy and today was just a nice super fantastic day.
School had ended as the bell rang.
The four boys walked with each other discussing what they'll do this evening as a squad.
"What about boar-"
"Stan, I swear to God if you say 'board games' once more I'll kill myself," Cartman interrupted by grunting.
Stan frowned.
"No offense dude, but Cartman's right. We've been playing boards games three times in a row for weeks," Kyle chimed in.
Kenny nodded. He knew Stan had developed a new obsession with board games when he moved to the farm and starting hanging out with Tolkien, which we didn't seem to mind much, but it had gotten boring being repeated multiple times everytime they hang out.
"What about cards?," the blonde suggested.
"Same shit," Cartman rolled his eyes with that.
Is that 'hootie and the blowfish' they began hearing in the background?
"Does anyone hear that?," Stan asked looking around.
"No," Kyle quickly stated.
"Anyways, what about basketball?," Cartman suggested while putting his attention on the others, his hands gripped on to his waist.
"You know what? That doesn't sound like a bad idea Cartman," Stan agreed while turning his focus onto Kyle who seemed kinda spaced out.
"Hm?," the boy said before barfing on Cartman.
'BLEEEEARGH!'
"Ah! Gross dude! Wtf Kahl!?," he wince disgusted wiping off the barf from his jacket, "disgusting!," he kept complaining.
"Sorry!."
"Woah dude," Stan exclaimed.
"I think breakfast didn't do me too well," the boy explained while rubbing his stomach, nauseous.
"Fuck you! You're so fucking disgusting!," Cartman kept rambling angry while walking off, seemingly going home, "ew! Screw you guys I'm going home."
"Sorry, Cartman!," Kyle apologized once more before returning his attention to the others, "so is basketball still on the list?."
"Hell yeah."
Cartman not long after joined the other three with a new jacket staying farther away from Kyle claiming that he didn't want the ginger to barf on him again which the boy rolled his eyes from and Stan calling him out a 'pussy' while continuing playing the game.
It was a nice evening with the four boys peacefully enjoying their company as everthing had turned back to normal.
#south park#eric cartman#kenny mccormick#kyle broflovski#stan marsh#kyman#-ish#sp one-shot#i always loved the idea to jack being a sneaky psychopath behind hes family back#after all they do say genetic plays a huge role when it comes to psychopaths mostly from the father side#idk just found it fun?#a went a little rush at the end but I didn't intend for it to be long#in explanation in Kenny and Cartman#Kenny's is the door into life and Cartman's the door into hell ironically being contrasted in what they are 'life' and 'death' kinda silly#im so tired that they're alot of typos in my tags which im too lazy to fix srry
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HOMEWARD BOUND: PROLOGUE 2
STAN: So.. what's going on? Who are you?
???: Right, how rude of me. My name is Kyle. Kyle Br-
KYLE: Just-.. Kyle.
STAN: ...Pleasure.
STAN: I'm Stanley Marsh, but please, just call me Stan.
KYLE: Nice to meet you, Stan.
KYLE: ...
KYLE: I'm sorry we had to meet this way. But then again, if it wasn't like this how else would we have met, isn't that right?
STAN: I suppose you're right about that, heh.
STAN: ...It's alright though, about this. I don't mind the extra company.
KYLE: I'm glad.
STAN: Yeah.
STAN: I feel like I should, uh, ask.. where am I supposed to take you?
KYLE: Oh, uh, I don't.. know...?
STAN: ...You don't know?
KYLE: No, I don't. Could I maybe just... stay with you??
STAN:
(STAN: Score!?!?)
KYLE: nevermindthatssuchastupidthingtoaskfromatotalstrangerimsosor-
STAN: NONO HEY- it's alright pardner, we'll uh, we'll find a place for you.. eventually......... for now.. I guess you can just stick with me.
STAN: ...Tell you what, how 'bout I take you back to my daddy's farm? I'll fix you up with an old horse I don't ride no more. We can stop by at the saloon on the way too!-- only if you want...
KYLE: ?!
KYLE: I'd love to! Thank you so much!
STAN: Giddy up then, boy! 'Ts no big deal.
BUTTERS: Why, isnt't this a nice surprise! If it isn't ole Stanley! Y-You ain't been through in a while!
STAN: Butters, cheery as always!
BUTTERS: Ahh, and a brand new face to join yours? How about that!
STAN: That's right, meet Mr. Kyle here. No last name, he's a mysterious one, isn't he?
KYLE: Y. Yeah. I guess I am ahaha
BUTTERS: Now wait a diddly-darn minute! Ain't you the one from them posters they hung up all around the county?!
KYLE: POSTERS??
STAN: Posters??
BUTTERS: Y-Yeah there's posters alright! As a matter of fact, here's one right now! 100 bucks so far!
KYLE: Shit, oh god, Stan what do we do??
(STAN: Broflovski?? Like Gerald Broflovski??)
KYLE: STAN??!!?!
STAN: Huh what hu huh
KYLE: I SAID. WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO.
STAN: Oh, uh, don't worry too much about it... This happens all the time. We'll just keep a low profile I guess.
KYLE:
KYLE: Okay. This is fine. Okay.
STAN: Butters, fix this man a drink, will ya?
STAN: And me. Fix me one too.
BUTTERS: O-On it, good sir!
STAN:
STAN: You'll be alright. I promise you, I've had bounties on my head n' I'm just fine aren't I?
KYLE: I guess so,
KYLE: This is. so much. All at once.
STAN: Wanna talk about it?
KYLE: No, not yet.
KYLE: I want to just live right now.
STAN: Alright.
STAN: Take your time.
★ PREVIOUS (START) | NEXT
#homeward bound#south park#sp cowboy au#prologue#stan marsh#kyle broflovski#butters stotch#au#yaoi#sp au#south park au#sp style#stan x kyle#style#fanart#sp fanart#official content#alternate universe
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In honor of Stan Marsh/Trey Parker’s birthday, here are some random fluffy Stan headcanons
I feel he would love to volunteer at the zoo, like this boy is an animal lover. And when he’s older, he takes Kyle’s kids to the zoo as well
Stan would join FFA (Future Farmers of America) in high school
Like of course Randy made him for the farm and Stan isn’t happy at all
But once Stan saw he could raise some animals, he is happy with it
I definitely see him being a veterinarian tbh
If he and Wendy are broken up or fighting during Halloween and they had one of those couple costumes, he would make Kyle go as the other half because he is too stubborn to change
Wendy is also stubborn and makes Bebe go as the other half
And you just see two peanut butter and jelly paired costumes walking around at the party
After “The List” episode, if he hears Kyle talk bad about his appearance, he’s going to stop everything to make sure Kyle knows he is loved no matter what
Meanwhile if anyone else talks bad about Kyle, fists are flying
I feel he would definitely love to cook, especially baking but he and Butters are like the only dudes who take culinary
He forgets birthdays but as soon as he remembers, he rushing to the store to get a gift,
Kenny is his road-trip buddy
But Kyle is his vacation buddy
Convinces the main four to get tattoos after high school graduation and they actually all agreed
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you are hyperfixating on sp too?? 😭 do you have any fanfiction recs if you read? I like Stan x Kyle but I'm open to anything
Yeah… I was hyperfixated on it like 6 years ago too and now the dormant hyperfix has erupted and my a03 is a hoarding area. sorry for being cringe guys.
Recs below the cut!! these r mostly style cause that’s what u asked for
Love and Basketball
by outlawrites - Oneshot, Rated Teen. Stan struggles with his relationship with his father and coming out to Randy. While there is some angst, I find most of Randy’s dialogue to be really funny.
Ship in a Bottle
by FayOfTheForest - multichap, Rated teen. Finished. Historical drama- pirate edition. Background creek and bunny.
A Ballad of True hearts
by luckypoppies - Mulitchap, Rated mature. Ongoing. It’s a stick of truth AU- an actually good one! Friends to enemies to friends to lovers.
Son of a Witch
by rivetingracehorse - Multichap, Rated Teen. Ongoing. A lonely Stanley marsh finds himself turned into a ghost of sorts after the dads of South Park conduct a strange ritual. After being cut off by his friends, he thinks this would be the perfect opportunity to see what they’ve been saying about him after he’s been abandoned.
No-one Saw Me (Not in the Way You Did)
By kiritila - Multichap, Rated Teen. Ongoing. Stan is the captain of a hockey team, and suddenly reconnects with the Broflovski family when Ike joins the team. He’s been officially cut off by Kyle- for what, he doesn’t know. Figure skater x Ice hockey player AU basically.
Tomorrow Comes Today
by munsonmurders - Multichap, Rated Mature. Ongoing. Historical drama - Cowboy edition. After coming across Kenny and Stan, Kyle chooses to help with injuries. He feels that life on this boring farm will get him nowhere, and joins Stan’s outlaw gang. Focused on Style but also Creek and Bunny.
Rivals
By maybeemaeve - Multichap, Rated Teen. Ongoing. After a brutal murder of a beloved classmate, Stan is asked by Kyle’s parents to be driven to and from school every day while they are on their anniversary vacation, much to both of their disgust. After their falling out in middleschool, both boys are left hating eachother. They slowly start to become closer as the serial killer starts to taunt them via calls using the victim’s phone.
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