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thesoftestpunk · 9 months

Text

Will you be mine?

Summary: your crush is starting to become something more

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader

Word count: 6.3k

A/N: This took for-fucking-ever, I'm sorry. I had a 5 month writers block

Warnings: Minors DNI!! If I find out you read this, I'm calling your mom. Lots of making out, dumb sex jokes, first time, smut, oral, piv sex, virgin!Eddie idk if I missed something lemme know. Also reader can honestly be read as plus size. I try to be inclusive.

Pt.1

When Eddie truly saw you for the first time, you were actually giving Dustin directions to the theater department, already late to swim practice, but you nodded along to his excited ramblings about joining Hellfire. You wished all three freshmen good luck and when you passed by Eddie, you smiled. Not even a half-assed, polite smile, but a full one. It’s so out of the ordinary for him that he just gawkes at you with wide eyes until your smile falters a fraction, and you move on.

It’s been two years since you’ve moved into town, so he’s seen you around school before, but it’s the closest your worlds came to colliding, and in response to that, you smiled. Most people turned their noses up at the sight of him but the harder he thought about it, you never did. Not in two whole years. Even when his hair went through a terrible awkward phase.

It set his curiosity in motion, unintentionally looking for you any chance he got. It was easiest in class, stuck in the back by choice, but that meant no one was looking at him looking at you. You sat with your friends any chance you got, devoted yourself to them, but anytime they made a snide comment, he saw you withdraw just the slightest bit, eyes drifting and frown deepening. Eddie never liked it when you frowned. In fact, anytime he could tell you were having a bad day, eyes burning with tears, he’d act like a fool in class. At first, you remained nonchalant, eyes drifting like they did with your friends, but the first time he got you to laugh, his heart felt too big for his chest.

“Again?” Gareth teased when he caught Eddie drooling over you instead of the worksheet in front of him that only displayed the addition of his crooked name and nothing else.

“I think I like her, man.” Eddie tries to keep his voice low. If anyone caught wind that he liked someone so high on the social ladder, he’d be eaten alive. The teasing over his hobbies he could take, but getting his heart caught on his sleeve and then stomped on made him nervous.

“You should just ask her out.” Gareth says it so nonchalantly that Eddie can’t help but scoff.

“She’s friends with Christina Whitlock, wannabe cheerleader. She’s worse than Carver and his goons. I’m not going to put myself on the chopping block willingly.”

“It’s either you ask her out or suffer in silence.”

Eddie looks at you sitting in the front of the classroom, smiling at something you’ve been told, and his heart sinks a little.

Then everything shifted after you sat next to him in English that day your friends seemed to be making fun of him about something. At first he thought you did it because you felt guilty, but when you seemed genuinely curious about his tattoos, he let his guard down. Which seemed to backfire pretty quickly. He had to endure hearing you say you didn’t like him, not once, but twice.

When he had lost all hope, you invited him to the pool. He almost didn't go, fully expecting you to turn him down politely, explaining that you were only being nice out of obligation, but none of that happened. When you had expressed your shared feelings for Eddie, he felt unadulterated joy. That was until he kissed you, and it seeped out of his skin, unable to be contained any further. Now, he got to walk hand in hand with you down the halls of the school, giving each other knowing looks when Tina stared the two of you down like she couldn’t believe you would have the audacity to hold hands.

You always initiated the pda, and he shook off the nerves just to feel the soft skin of your palm against his. He kissed you in private, not wanting any chance of a moment ruined. But you can’t seem to get any privacy for anything more than making out. You’ve come close to the idea of more but that’s all it seems to be. An idea. It’s a lot of getting interrupted in your bed, Eddie’s hand just having slid underneath your underwear and one of you freezing at the sound of the front door. You always proceed to hiss out ‘shit. Someone’s home,’ before the two of you scramble to get decent and when, nine times out of ten, your mother checks on you, you pretend to be studying.

Despite his -albeit joking- begging, you refuse the idea to do it in his van.

“I’m a bit of a romantic,” you argue. “So I don’t want our first time to be in the back of your smelly van.”

“Okay, it won’t be there.” He promises, bringing your knuckles to his lips. “It’ll be up front.”

You shove him off of you as he laughs maniacally, now beside you on your bed. Taking your childhood stuffed rabbit, you whack him in the shoulder playfully, and he catches it quickly.

“How dare you use miss hoppity as a weapon!” He teases further.

“Oh, you’re in for it now, Munson.”

He screams dramatically when you roll over on him and attack his neck in rapid kisses, making him uncontrollably giggle. He had warned you he was ticklish in some parts, and you quickly learned where for your own personal enjoyment.

“Uncle! Uncle!” He gasps out between bouts of laughter, even though he loved the feeling of your plush lips against his neck. His beautiful neck that left your mouth watering and legs clenching at the sheer thickness of it. Just more space to place kisses. There’s a moment when he’s calming and you’ve placed both hands on his stomach, neither worrying about your mother coming to check up on the commotion you just caused. You feel him harden underneath you, just like every time you get pulled onto his lap. He can’t help it. The way your legs spread just for him, and how your shoulders relax with ease gets him going.

“What?” You whisper when he just continues to stare like you’ve told him he’s won the lottery.

“I haven’t taken you on a proper date, have I?” As he asks, his smile turns downward at the sudden realization.

“No, but I don’t mind.” You trace a finger from the back of his jaw to his chin and give a little pinch. “I like this time together. Just us.”

“Well, I’d be a terrible–” the words get caught in his throat as he almost says the big word. Boyfriend. Neither of you had broached the subject, and maybe that’s why he’s brought up the fact that he hasn’t taken you out. Whatever this relationship was, he was afraid he was going about everything in the wrong way. He should have taken you out before even kissing you, if any romantic driven book he’s read has told him. “-guy if I didn’t.”

“Okay,” you ignore his fumble, bumping your nose into his. “Take me out then.” You flatten your chest to him to feel the rumble of his victorious laughter, but then you remember where you are, and your bedroom door is open fully. “We need to get up before the guard does her rounds.”

You untangle yourself from him, giggling as he has to adjust himself if your mom actually does make an appearance.

“This Friday, sweetheart. I’m picking you up at seven o’clock, sharp.”

“I look forward to it.”

***

Eddie says he would still rather not be seen at any school event, but he shows up to your swim practice, fulfilling his promise of being in the closest spot on the bleachers as he’s allowed. He drives you home from every practice, bragging about you to you. It’s selfishly endearing listening to the way he talks about how proud he is of you for how talented you are. The rest of the girls on the team didn’t understand his insistence on catching at least the last ten minutes. Usually he would be meeting with hellfire, but he would try and make it just to cheer you on, even if he was explicitly told not to by your coach.

“He was here again today.” you hear Christina whisper to one of the girls. “I’m starting to think it’s not just for Y/N.”

“What do you mean?” She asks innocently.

“I mean… it’s kinda pervy, right?”

“Ugh, totally.” Another agrees.

A chill runs down your spine at the idea of that rumor spreading. Something in you snaps as you slam your locker door shut before turning to see their shocked faces.

“Eddie is a gentleman,” you glare at Tina. “I don’t care that you all think I’m a freak too, now that I’m dating him, but you need to remember I’m co-captain. Keep his name out of your mouth, and if I hear any sort of disrespect about him, you’re doing drills until you puke.”

“You’re only co-captain because you’re the coach's niece.” Christina crosses her arms defensively.

“The only reason I’m not captain is because of nepotism. He didn’t want you whining all the time, but I work my ass off harder than anyone in this room. You could stand to be a little more humble, Tina, considering how slow you were today.” Your hands shake as everyone looks back and forth between you and Christina like they’re at a tennis match, just waiting for a full on cat fight to break out. “So, do you understand me?”

The locker room is silent as you stare down Christina, challenging her to retort back, but she actually looks flustered and nods. It has the others nodding along in a chorus of agreement. There’s no more chit chat as the girls rush to finish getting dressed. You’re one of the first few to leave, leftover anger and adrenaline making you stomp on your way out. That is until you see Eddie and feel your whole body relax.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he says his usual greeting.

Sudden tears burn your eyes as you rush forward to tackle him in a hug, causing him to stumble backwards a couple of steps. He chuckles, arm coming around your middle as he assumes you’re just that excited to see him. A sniffle gives you away immediately.

“Hey,” he says softly, pulling away to look at you. His eyebrows draw together in concern as he looks you over, hands on either side of your face to inspect closely. “Hey, you okay?”

“Yeah, yes, I just-“ you wipe your nose with your sleeve, feeling yourself get small. It’s the first time he’s seen you cry, and you don’t want to make him worry about why. “It’s stupid. Can you just take me home?”

“You can tell me.” His thumb moves back and forth over your cheek.

“Eds,” you let out a wet laugh. “I’m fine.” To prove this, you give him a kiss. “Let’s just get out of here.”

“Alright,” he eyes you warily, and even the door to the locker room, but wraps an arm around your shoulder to walk out with you.

You’re sour for the rest of the week, not even indulging in teasing Tina about your relationship publicly. Eddie knows you’re in a mood, but he has no idea why. He tries everything he can think of; jokes, the little kisses on your collar bones that make you smile, and more jokes, but you just seem lost in your own world. For a moment, he worries you’re tired of him already and the pressure of being seen with him has become too overwhelming, and for his own sanity, he does some digging.

It takes bribing four different people. One offer to deal at a party sends him to Andrew Rickman, who gets some weed for a huge discount, to send Eddie to his girlfriend, Jessica Armstrong who finally sends him to Janice Freedman and a promise to pass along her phone number to Gareth, and he’s sure he’s figured it out.

On Friday’s you swim on your own. Eddie knows to leave you be for an hour before entering the pool house to catch you just as you’re towel drying your hair. He doesn’t like wandering the halls to risk getting yelled at, so he waits in his van, blasting music while smoking a joint.

“Have a good swim?” His arms wrap around your waist from behind, the smell of chlorine invading his nose.

“Mmhm,” you hum, melting into his hold. You had pushed yourself to relieve the frustration because you didn’t want to ruin Eddie’s date plan.

“Just ‘mmhm?’” He copied your tone, slowly placing kisses along your shoulder, and up toward your neck.

“You know you’re not supposed to be in here.” You remind him, voice stern, but he knows there isn’t any anger behind it.

“Got away with it last time didn’t I?” He spins you around by your hips, making you wonder what’s suddenly gotten him in this mood. Eddie captures your lips, pulling your body flush against his, and tips your head back to deepen the kiss. It leaves you breathless immediately with how desperate it feels.

“Eddie,” you sigh when he breaks it to move to your neck once more. His ring covered hand slides up your side, cupping your breast and giving a squeeze. It’s a shame he didn’t show up sooner or he could’ve done this when you were wearing nothing but a towel. “Seriously? Here?”

“No,” he snorts, trying to behave. “I’m a gentleman.”

“Not with that poking me in the thigh.”

Before he gets the chance to laugh, someone is clearing their throat, making the two of you jump apart. Tina looks to the side, looking more than embarrassed by the obvious bulge in Eddie’s pants, and your kiss stained lips.

“T-Tina,” you step in front of Eddie for his sake. “What, uh, what are you doing here?”

“I signed up for extra practice time.” For the first time, Tina seems small, almost afraid to admit she needed the extra time in the water. “Guys aren’t allowed in the girls locker room, Munson.”

“I’ll wait outside.” Stiffly, he leans forward to give you a quick kiss on the cheek from behind before rushing out.

“Sorry,” you apologize before she can berate you for it. “I thought we were alone.”

And strange enough, she doesn’t.

“I used to sign up for the latest slot so Declan and I could be alone when we first started dating.” She opens up her locker in search of her suit. “Just don’t go making a habit of it. Coach nearly tore my head off. Can’t imagine what he’d do to his niece.”

“Right,” you laugh sheepishly, but catch a glimpse of the Tina you became friends with two years ago. “Thanks.”

“Don’t thank me yet.” She hardens once again. “You’re doing drills for getting caught.”

You sigh. Tough Tina was back.

“Aye aye captain.”

After you rush out, tail between your legs, you smack Eddie in the shoulder with the sleeve of your hoodie. He flinched back like it hurt, but the smile completely gave him away.

“You dingus!” You try to keep your voice down, but the shrill tone still echoes around the building.

“Ow!” He laughs more than he does whine. “I can’t appreciate you for sticking up for me?”

“What?” You stop winding up for another smack.

“I heard what you did for me.” He wraps an arm around your back, pulling you close so he has to speak quietly. “No one’s ever stuck for me like that before.”

“Well, I- I was just being honest…” your cheeks burn at the way he looks down at you, one corner of his lips tugging up.

“Mm, well, I find your honesty extremely hot.”

“We can not get caught by Tina again.” As much as you wanted to reciprocate his appreciation, you weren’t looking forward to extra punishment for making her endure another shared kiss between you and eddie. “You need to take me home so I can get ready for our date.”

“What’re you gonna wear?”

“Only if you tell me where we’re going but it’s—“

“A surprise,” he finishes for you.

***

Eddie shows up at your door on time for once. He isn’t allowed to pick you up for school, or else you’d be chronically late for first period. He had told you to dress casual, but you can’t help but grab your short tan pleated skirt to match your white shirt with extended shoulders and a jean fabric vest. (A jest if you will). To top it all off, you wear your favorite beat up sneakers and ankle socks scrunched down. When you hear the knock, your heart skips a beat and you take down the hall, shouting at your parents that you’ll get the door. Your dad beats you to it on purpose, but he’s already met Eddie. They were uncertain at first, but Eddie was polite and followed your house rules. To an extent. It was all a front, and you knew it killed him just a little, but he also knew if he didn’t, he wouldn’t be able to date you.

He takes you to a local restaurant, nothing fancy, but also not cheap. you love it either way. It never really mattered what the two of you did together, as long as you were doing it together. He’s a bit quiet as you eat, eyes scanning the room, but after you get him to loosen up, he acts like he owns the place. He leans back in his seat, arm thrown over the back as he heavily flirts with you, not even wondering if the other patrons are staring or not.

“Sorry,” Eddie mumbles while fumbling with the crumbled bills when he pays. You know he doesn’t have a traditional job, selling drugs to help his uncle with expenses, and it makes you wonder how much extra he had to sell just to take you here. There’s a pause as he calculates if there’s enough for a tip before slapping the money down and smiling at you to wave off your worry.

“Eddie?” You gently take his hand after he’s pulled out of the parking lot. “Did you- you know you didn’t have to take me somewhere that nice, right? I would’ve been fine if you made me, like, chef boyardee at your trailer.”

“I gotta make my girl feel special sometimes, right?” He flashes you that confident smile and brings your hand up to place a kiss on your knuckles. There’s a tug in your stomach when he calls you ‘my girl’ and you bite your bottom lip to stave off your sheepish grin. “Plus, the night’s not over yet. I got one more thing for you.”

You aren’t sure what to expect, but when he pulls up in front of his trailer, you feel a bit of a relief. Not because you don’t like being out in public with Eddie, you do, but you constantly worry about someone making a rude comment his way and upsetting him. In the time you’ve known him, though, the insults seem to roll off his back pretty easily, and you’re unsure how he does it. Every insult repeats in your mind for hours after.

“Give me five minutes.” Eddie leans over to give you a quick kiss on the lips.

“What, gotta hide all your cum socks before I go in?”

“I’ve got some class.” Eddie’s breath tickles your lips as he doesn’t lean back just yet. “I washed them yesterday.”

As he gets out of the van, you laugh to yourself, even when he’s unlocking the door and disappearing inside. You stay inside the vehicle, only unbuckling your seatbelt and glance outside the window. The openness of the area combined with how dark it is leaves you a little unsettled. It’s eerily quiet, and you can tell even with the windows rolled up. A lone cricket and distant barking seems to be the only noise going on around. Turning by your torso, you see there isn’t much to the back of his van, bits of carpet pulling up here and there along the seams, a guitar case covered in stickers similar to what’s on his jackets, and ashtrays with cigarette butts and half smoked joints. There’s a rug thrown in the middle, probably to cover a stain or his attempt to class things up. A sharp knock startled you out of observing the burnt orange and red curves and sharp corners.

“You okay there?” Eddie teases after opening the passenger door for you.

“It’s scary as shit out here.” You take his outstretched hand and hop out of the van. “It’s way too quiet.”

“Let me lead you to safety, princess.”

Inside, the trailer is lit by the dim lamp in the corner of the living area, but mostly by the scattered candles along random surfaces leading toward his bedroom. The low lighting flickers off the reflection in the mugs lined along the shelves, and shadows dancing along the walls. Eddie leads you down the short hallway before you can even comment on his romantic decor. You’ve gotten a peek of his bedroom in past visits, but the two of you usually would hang out on the couch, so you know he’s tidied it up for you. There’s still plenty of clutter along his dresser and desk, but his floor is clean from any clothes or trash strewn about.

He stops you at the end of his bed, your calves brushing against the sheets hanging over the side. Slowly, he brings up your hand to place a kiss on the back of your palm, causing you to shudder. A smile grows on his face and you can see it despite your hand being in the way. He lets go to drag the vest off of your shoulders and when it registers in your mind that he wants it off, you move with him, his face getting close to yours when he has to help your fumbling hands through the holes. You’ve been kissed by him a dozen times but when he dips his chin up to connect your lips, your skin burns in a want you’ve never felt before, as if he’s kissing you for the first time. You both move in sync, dipping down onto the bed, and not breaking contact until he’s hovering over you, delight making his features glow, but you can see the small bit of insecurity in his eyes while he seems to gather up his nerves.

“Will you be mine?” It’s quiet, intimate, barely above a whisper, but leaves his voice graveling deep enough to send a jolt up your spine. “My girl? Each second with you…” he trails off, shaking his head as his lips split into a grin. “It’s a piece of gold, sweetheart. I want you to be mine.”

“I-“ you huff out a laugh, his bangs moving with the small gust of air. “I thought I already was. Have been since you kissed me.”

If his grin could get any bigger, it just did, and his body relaxes, his weight heavier on top of you. The next kiss he gives you is all teeth and tongue, before he calms and kisses you proper. Kisses you like you’ve never been kissed before, his lips and the gentle swipe of his tongue erasing all the others that came before. Your giggle is muffled into his mouth, trying to pull him closer than he already was, but there wasn’t any room left. If you could find it within yourself to let go of his shirt, he could be pressed firmly against you, but then you would just want his shirt off, skin to skin, only for that to still not be enough.

A small moan from you escapes into his mouth when he grinds his hips down into yours, butterflies erupting in your stomach as he does so. His large hands slide up your hips, your shirt coming up with them, and up your ribs until he’s exposed your chest. You hadn’t even bothered with a bra, not entirely expecting the night to go this far. His eyes widen at the surprise, and his cheeks go pink like he’s never had the pleasure of being inches from any pair of tits. Especially a pair like yours, beautiful and on display just for him. His mouth wraps around your right nipple, his teeth sinking into the perked up flesh, and a pained squeak falls past your lips, the sharp sting only working you up more. As an apology, he releases your nipple to swipe his tongue over it in circles, while his other hand cups your other breast, giving it a perfect squeeze. His lips move down, alternating between kisses and biting the soft flesh of your stomach until he’s positioned between your thighs. Looking up, as if asking permission, to which you nod vigorously in agreement, his hands wrap around your legs to rest them on the top of your thighs, fingers digging into the meat as he kisses the inside of your thighs. You can’t help but squirm when he pushes up the fabric of your skirt with his left hand, the one with all the chunky rings, and leaves it there to rest and places one single kiss on your clothed pussy.

A broken whimper from you gets him into motion, removing his hand from the thigh for a brief moment, moving your panties to the side and licking up you slowly. Eager, he burrows down, his tongue swirling around your clit, nose pressed against your pubic bone, not minding the scratch of the coarse hair. In desperation to hold onto something to steady your uncontrollable squirming and maybe to just find a grip of reality while your mind floats into a high, your hand falls on his that kneads the flesh of your stomach. The lumpy metal digs into your palm, the pain bringing you further back to reality. His mouth, his hands, his heat leaves you for a moment, looking up to the panting mess that you are, and you whine at the lack of touch. One by one, Eddie removes the large jewelry while maintaining eye contact and tosses them to the side before slowly laying back down on his stomach. Slowly his eyes land on your drenched pussy, and you’d feel uncomfortable if it weren’t for the hunger in his eyes.

“Wait,” you breathe out. Removing the spare scrunchie from your wrist, you sit up to gather all of his hair quickly, apologizing when your fingers get tangled in the curls, and put it all into a messy bun. You don’t even get to soak up the image of his hair being held by something of yours before he’s gently laying you back down, and his mouth returns to his previous work.

His heavy hands hold your already trembling thighs apart. A hesitant finger hovers near your wet entrance, sliding in slowly. You sigh in relief until he experimentally strokes your core, breath caught in your throat and back arching slightly off the bed. Pleading words, begging breaths, you want for more of his hefty fingers inside you, stretching you out for what you expect to be more later. He complies easy, tongue and fingers moving in sync faster, enjoying every moan that falls past your lips. His name is whined out on repeat, each one raising in tone and intensity along with the pressure in your stomach. He laps up the mess you make as you clench around his fingers and fall over the edge for the first, but not final, time of the night. Soft kisses with the intention of being soothing are scattered along your thighs and stomach as his soaked fingers rub your overstimulated clit, letting you catch your breath as you ride the high just a moment longer.

“Fuck,” you huff, a dazed smile following. “Where’d you learn to do that?”

Eddie moves so he’s hovering over you, chin glistening with his work. “Fantasy novels.”

“No, seriously.” With your thumb, you wipe the wetness off of his chin for him. There’s a beat of silence and you realize he isn’t joking. “Wait, seriously?”

“Well… yeah.”

You sit both of you up, scooting up his mattress until your back touches the wall. There’s the pull of rejection in his chest the further you move away, the absence of your touch and the distance between the two of you sends a message that you don’t want to go further anymore.

“But you-” you pause, adjusting your shirt so it isn’t exposing your chest. “You… you’re you.”

“That’s the problem, apparently.” The defeat in his voice makes you wince in regret.

“No, I mean… you’re in a metal band and-” you almost don’t say it. “And I’ve heard… y’know.”

“That I’ll give a discount for putting out?” Amusement flickers in his eyes at that particular rumor. “Okay, I let one girl give me a handy, but that’s it. I’m a massive virgin otherwise.”

“Oh.” Your voice is small, going quiet so you can process what he’s told you. “Well, if you aren’t comfortable we don’t have to.”

“I set up the place for that purpose.” your stomach twists at the image of him excitedly getting ready, lighting the candles to set the mood all with the cute little smile he gets. “Unless you…”

“I’m not.” You almost feel bad for admitting it, but you didn’t regret losing your virginity to someone else. He didn’t seem jealous, just understanding. “And I wouldn’t mind.”

Eddie’s smile grows. “Good ‘cause I bought an entire box of condoms.” Leaning over, he pulls out the comically large box from his bedside table.

“Were you expecting a sex marathon?” You gawk.

“That’d be ideal.”

You shut him up by swiftly removing your shirt and tossing it in his face. He’s quick to pull it off and toss it to the side, but you’re quicker in moving forward, hands falling on his shoulders and pushing him down so he’s on his back. If his hair were loose, you’d be distracted by the halo it created around his bed, but it isn’t. Instead it’s already fighting the scrunchie, his bangs falling down in sparse strands, making him look more innocent than he ever has. Crawling into his lap, you take care in placing yourself directly on his growing hard-on. His hands slide up your thighs to your waist, gripping tightly while you run yours up the entirety of his torso. A couple tugs on the fabric is your way of asking him to sit up enough so you can take it off. Immediately, your eyes land on the one tattoo you haven't had the pleasure of looking at for longer than a few seconds, and slowly you take in the small patch of hair in the middle of his chest. What gets your mouth watering is the thicker patch leading down underneath his jeans. On his back, you can see the peaks of his hip bones leading down to the short valley to his happy trail.

You drag your nails over the thicker patch of hair, smiling to yourself at his sharp intake of air, the upward tilt of his chin from your peripheral, working him up to squirm just as much as you had. He’s a whimpering mess while you only touch him anywhere besides the one place he wants. Desperate, he moves your hips for you, begging for any amount of friction. Almost defiantly, you scoot back, sitting on his thighs instead, and he huffs indignantly. You smirk, bite your bottom lip to keep from smiling fully at his pouting.

“Please,” he begs breathless, hips jutting into the air despite no available pressure from your weight.

Giving in, you unbutton his jeans, finding the way they pop open satisfying, and tug slowly on his zipper. You can perfectly see the outline of his dick through his tight boxer briefs. You want to take your time, slowly pull his jeans off first and then his underwear, but that flies out of the window when you see just how girthy he is. You don’t undress him in any manner, running the palm of your hand up his length, a long moan filling the room. Leaning down, you kiss his stomach, his muscles jolting in surprise. You slip your hand past the waistband, fingertips brushing against the tip, already dripping at your light touch. Experimentally, you give a light squeeze when you’ve wrapped your hand fully around him. Using his pre-cum as aid, you start slow, his moans coming from deep in his chest. Slowly, you start increasing your speed, dropping kisses along his skin when he seems to get too quiet.

“Baby, you gotta stop,” Eddie pants. You pull away completely, confusion and hurt covering your features. “No, no,” he takes your face between his hands. “I’m just gonna explode if you keep touching me like that, and I’m not quite finished with you yet.”

You pause, blink once as heated shock covers your body over the realization. You almost made him cum too fast. Pride fills your chest, and you aren’t sure if it’s a bad feeling to have, but he returns your sheepish smile by grabbing a condom from the box. With fascination, you watch him as he rolls it on, not having had the luxury of witnessing this part. It was too dark or too quick before. There’s a bit of a struggle and you reach out to help but stop yourself, not wanting to take over.

“Got it,” he smiles.

“And you’re sure you want to…?” You aren’t afraid, but this is new to him. You don’t want him to be afraid. Everything should be perfect, though you know nothing ever is.

“Do you?”

“Of course, Ed’s.” Running a hand down his chest to his stomach, to land on his strained cock, you give a reassuring smile. Before you climb back in his lap, he helps you out of your underwear, watching the way you smoothly throw a leg over him and line yourself up expertly without even looking. Raising your brows to wordlessly ask one more time, he answers by resting his hands on your hips, eyes never leaving yours. As you sink slowly down, there’s the familiar burning stretch that causes you to whimper, even more by his girth, but it’s all covered up by his moans. You bottom out, wiggling experimentally while he adjusts to the feeling.

And then you start moving your hips.

Slow at first, grinding your pussy into him, his head falling back onto the mattress and eyes squeezing shut. If he had any nails, they’d be digging into your skin, leaving crescents behind to remind you of this moment later, but his fingers are dull, pushing and pulling you into a perfect rhythm. Leaning down, you press kisses and soft bites onto his neck, your tits flat against his chest and moving with every desperate thrust he gives into you. You support yourself by your forearms, stopping your movements and letting him fuck himself into you. He’s a beautiful flustered mess when you look at him. He opens his eyes just a sliver to catch your smile.

“Feel good?” You ask, voice soft.

“Mm-hm.” He can’t even speak, brows furrowed together roughly. “‘M gonna—“

“Go ahead.” You place a kiss on his pulse point, swallowing your moans as he thrusts harder, hitting your g-spot. His arms wrap around your waist holding you still, his hips becoming more erratic. “C’mon baby,” you coo.

“Fuck,” he breathes out, giving a few good thrusts before his hips stutter. You give him a moment to catch his breath, the only sound in the room being his panting.

Leaning back, you smother his face in kisses, feeling his laughter vibrate underneath your chest.

“Hey,” you say semi-serious, his soft eyes meeting yours. “You did great.”

“I sure hope so.” He finally slides out of you and you whine in indignation, missing the feeling of him already.

“You did.” You insist.

There’s this moment where he almost looks like he believes you and you get this warm mushy feeling in your chest at the realization that you’ve had your first time together. Not in the back of his van but in a lovingly decorated trailer with zero chances of being interrupted. To top it all off, you’re also officially his girlfriend.

“Sweetheart?” He breaks you out of your revere. “Kinda need you off of me to get this thing off.”

“And then we cuddle.”

He smiles. “And then we cuddle.”

Rolling onto your back, you realize you’ve still got your skirt on, laughing to yourself as you take it off. You look around and find a shirt, unsure of whose it could be, and slip it on, watching Eddie walk out of the room despite promising to get back in bed. A moment later, he returns with a damp rag, gently spreading your legs and cleaning you up the best he knows how.

“I got it, thank you.” You take it from him gently, getting the spots he couldn’t and hand it back. He immediately tosses it behind his shoulder, hoping it lands in his laundry basket. “Eddie, gross.”

“No time, my dear.” He crawls in right behind you, pulling his comforter over the both of you so you don’t end up cold. His nose nuzzles into the back of your neck, lips leaving soft kisses on the top of your spine.

“I can’t sleep over,” you remind him, eyelids already feeling heavy.

“I know.”

“My dad wants me back before midnight.”

“I know.”

A hand snakes over your side, wrapping around your middle to pull you flush into his chest. He breathes you in, the smell of your honey shampoo tingling his senses.

“Eddie?”

“Hm?” He sounds sleepy and you know you’re in trouble.

“We can officially do it in your van, now.”

“Finally,” he teases.

Tag list: @hesvoid3434 @jane-ways @akiratoro420 @ali-r3n @stupid-infinity (there were a couple of you it wouldn't let me tag, sorry <;3)

#eddie munson x female reader #Eddie Munson x reader #eddie munson x you #Eddie Munson x y/n #Eddie Munson fanfic #Eddie munson #my writing.

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gureumz · 10 months

Text

if only you knew (that i can see you)

rating: explicit

member: jay

premise: you're enhypen's new manager and it's palpable how instantly this one member takes a liking to you. you're adamant about keeping things professional but he's very persuasive.

notes: fem!reader, dom!jay, slightly dubious consent, dirty talk, mentions of vomiting, unprotected sex, clothed sex, creampie, a quickie (but a very hot one imo), office romance-ish (?), mentions of drinking, lmk if i missed anything!

a/n: fourth of my 1k follower special! oh, writer's block is a bitch. one whole month of nothing and i churn this out in one night. big, big apologies if i've become rusty over the past month, but i couldn't get this story out of my head. also, title is by from madame swift's 'i can see you'. please enjoy!

you feel like throwing up. right this minute, right at this very second.

you're fully convinced that you're about to hurl all over your pristine brand-new sneakers, spewing chunks of this morning's breakfast (a single cup of iced coffee) on the company's shiny, newly-waxed floor.

you're moments away from it, you can feel something catch in your throat. this is it, you know this is it. goodbye to your new job, your company benefits, goodbye to this godforsaken earth—

"sorry, are you lost?"

you whip around, eyes wide. towering over you is a man, sharp-featured, lean, and unbelievably handsome.

you swallow, trying to find an answer to give.

"i'm the new assistant manager. sejin-sunbaenim told me to come straight to dance practice room 2," you manage to say with as minimal tremor as you can. the man raises both eyebrows.

"oh, it's you," the handsome stranger says, bowing. "you're ______."

you nod, chest loosening at the sound of your name. so you're in the right place, after all. one less thing to worry about.

"that's me," you confirm, bowing back.

"cool. i'm jay," the man responds with an easy smile. he reaches out and you grasp his hand in yours.

oh, he's so warm.

"i...know," you mumble out, chuckling nervously.

jay grins. he drops your hand, motioning to the door behind you.

"sejin-nim is inside. so are the others," jay informs, reaching over for the door handle. you sidestep, and for a moment, you feel like a nervous bunny, jumping all over the place and flinching at the slightest sound.

in your defense, the last thing you want is to cross any boundaries on your first day.

jay smiles at you again, pulling the door open. "after you."

you blink, momentarily distracted by the dimple on his cheek. you quickly regain your bearings, smiling sheepishly as you step into the room.

you're quickly whisked into a flurry of introductions. each enhypen member seems equally excited, or at least pleased, to meet you. they shake your hand, bow, and greet you with bright, boyish smiles.

you're dazed by the end of it all, but at least you're not thinking about throwing up anymore.

"you have the calendar i shared with you, right?" sejin, your superior, asks after the members have difted off, busying themselves with warm-ups.

you recall the zoom conference you had with sejin a week ago, how you pored over every phone number, email, and address pertinent to your job as enhypen's new manager.

"yes," you answer.

"everything's there. all orange tasks are mine, and all blue ones are kyungjun's. he's not here now, but you'll meet him probably tomorrow. you can pick another color for your tasks in the mean time," sejin explains.

"i'll email you every morning with things i need help with and you can add those to the calendar afterward," he continues. "for today, i just want you to shadow me to see what a typical day looks like for us."

you nod along, occasionally glancing at your phone, the managers' calendar flashed on your screen.

you ignore the way your heart drops when you see the stacks of orange and blue piled on each tile.

as if reading your thoughts, sejin chuckles beside you. "it may look like a lot, but the boys make it easier. they're total professionals."

you laugh along, turning back to the group. your eyes immediately settle on jay who's quick to catch your gaze.

he smiles and you smile back.

---

"________-nim! how was your first day?"

you look up from your phone, momentarily abandoning the email you were composing, an inquiry sejin assigned you to send to a local media franchise. you were on your fifth reread.

you realize with a start that it's jay.

he sets a large paper bag down on the table. you're late to notice the drink carrier he has in his other hand.

"well, however it went, i got you a drink and dinner to commemorate your first day," jay adds, taking one out of the two drinks from the carrier. he slides the cup towards you and your cheeks immediately heat up.

"you didn't have to," you say, laughing nervously. "you're too kind, jay."

jay beams at this. he pushes the paper bag towards you as well.

"this is from all the members," jay informs. "as thanks for working hard today."

before you can reply, jay bows briefly before waving goodbye and walking away.

you stare at the paper bag for a few moments, a weird flutter taking over your body.

---

jay is...strange.

or, at least, you think he's been acting strange.

it's only been a little over a month since your first day. it was easy for you to fall into a routine, seeing as the group is in between promotions. a photoshoot every other day, a pre-recording once a week, dance practice every day after dinner. the most stress you've had so far was when you forgot to phone the van driver about a change in schedule, leaving you and half the members stranded at a certain broadcast station.

jay had comforted you then, as you were near tears. he laid a hand on your shoulder, his thumb rubbing against your sweater in an attempt to soothe you.

"it happens," jay had said. you didn't even notice his hand had moved from your arm down to the small of your back.

"you're doing great," he added before withdrawing his hand.

you thought about that moment the whole night. how warm his touch was, how gentle he handled your near-breakdown.

he was your responsibility and yet jay was the one that came to your rescue.

you went out on your first official team dinner a few days after that, with the whole managerial team present along with the members. sejin recommended a quaint, yet highly-acclaimed restaurant off one of the side streets around the company.

jay had squeezed in beside you at the table, so close you can feel his body heat radiating off him. a few times his knees knocked against yours but neither of you acted like you noticed.

it was then the first inkling of suspicion rose in you.

could jay be...?

surely not. he was just being nice. he's the literal definition of a gentleman. it's just the way jay is.

of course. it's totally in his character to bring you coffee almost every day. it's normal that he rushes to open every door you walk through. there's definitely nothing weird about him gifting you an expensive box of chocolates for completing your first month on the job.

he's not flirting with you. that would be silly.

you sigh, shaking off these thoughts as you approach the small practice booth at the end of the hall. you can hear the sound of a guitar from the inside.

"jay?" you call out, knuckles knocking against the glass door. the guitar stops.

"yeah?" comes a muffled voice from inside. you slowly push the door open, peeking your head in.

jay is seated in front of the computer, his electric guitar cradled in his arms. he's sporting a loose white shirt and black joggers. his hair is unstyled, black tresses falling over his eyes. he brushes it back with his fingers.

"you have a recording like—," you pause, checking your watch. "right now."

jay gives a start, checking his phone. he groans, setting his guitar down on its stand.

"right," he mutters under his breath. he sighs, rising up from his seat.

you watch as he stretches, the bottom of his shirt riding up to reveal the top of his boxers peeking out from his pants. you catch a glimpse of a very thin sliver of skin.

you try your best to ignore that.

"you better hurry before the producer kicks both of our asses," you urge lightly, crossing your arms. you've been trying to be more assertive with the members lately, seeing as you've already had enough time to know more about them and how they're supposed to be spending their days under your supervision.

"yes ma'am," jay replies, approaching you. you step out of the doorway to let him pass.

he doesn't move for a few seconds and you peer up at him with a questioning look on your face.

"can i ask you something?" jay blurts out, shoving his hands in his pockets.

you glance around to make sure no one is nearby. you have a feeling he's about to ask something that's a little less appropriate for work.

"are you single?"

you nearly choke on your own spit. you had a sense of what he was going to ask, but you never expected him to be this direct.

"may i know why you're asking?" you reply, treading carefully. one wrong move and you can end up dismissed from this long-coveted job of yours.

jay shrugs. "just curious."

you chew on your lip, contemplating how to go about his question. you let out a breath, deciding that there's no harm in being truthful.

"i am," you confirm.

jay nods. "same."

you quirk an eyebrow at this. cocking your head to the side, you ask, "really? how come?"

"i'm sure you see how busy we are," jay counters with a smirk.

it's your turn to shrug. "that doesn't stop jake from texting that girl from—"

"you know about that?!" jay cuts in, his voice dropping to a whisper.

you snicker, shaking your head.

"i know a lot of things, jay. i'm with you guys almost every waking hour of the day," you inform.

jay looks at you with an unreadable expression. something between fear and confusion. it makes you giggle.

"i technically should take it up with HR and higher management, but the other managers and i agreed that until you guys decide to go sneaking off on late-night dates, we'll keep it under wraps."

jay's mouth hangs open, still in disbelief.

"so, if you're planning on taking some girl out, you better let me know," you say, giving jay a pointed look.

jay's expression changes then as he ducks his head to avoid your eyes.

"not gonna happen," he says.

jay gives you a curt nod and smile before pushing past you out into the hallway.

---

you and jay don't talk about that night.

you know that he knows that you know the reason he asked about the state of your love life. he definitely did it on purpose to open up the discussion.

you're determined to squash the notion before it develops further.

you're not doing it to be mean. you'd never want to hurt jay on purpose. but you have a job to do and a reputation to keep.

jay knows that. he should know that.

you get the impression that even if he did, he doesn't care. not when he's sauntering over to you now, a bag of food and an iced coffee in his hands.

"mind if i join you?" jay asks, already sliding into the seat across you. there's barely any other people in the hybe cafeteria but a nervous chill still runs up your spine.

this is nothing. just a friendly lunch between a manager and her member.

"you didn't leave me much choice," you say with a laugh.

jay shrugs, winking at you playfully. you quickly avert your eyes. better to not say anything.

"i like your outfit today," jay compliments, taking a sip of his coffee.

you glance down at yourself. you're in a plain, short-sleeved blouse, white and a little sheer. you paired it with comfortable black corduroy pants and sneakers.

nothing special. to you, at least.

you had to feign ignorance on the way jay had stared at you the whole morning while you were in a meeting.

"thank you," you reply curtly, taking a bite of your kimbap.

"i'm taking you guys home tonight." you quickly revert to another subject.

"kyungjun-sunbaenim has to attend to other things so he assigned me to make sure all of you get home safe and in one piece for today."

jay nods. "got it."

"you guys don't have anything scheduled after 11 so i expect all of you to be at the lobby by that time," you add.

you can feel jay staring as you continue to pick at your food. you fight the urge to look up.

"will do," he finally says.

---

"do you need me to walk you guys up?"

you lean out of the passenger side window, watching as the members file out of the vans in front of their apartment building. thankfully, they all heeded your word, showing up at the lobby at 11:05, ready to head home for the day.

as if to prove that the heavens were on your side, the ride home was awfully quiet, too, which was a surprise considering that it was jay, jake, and sunghoon that decided to ride along with you.

jungwon shakes his head to your question, walking up to your side of the van.

"we're good, _______-noona," jungwon says. "you get home safe, though!"

riki nods along, skipping up to you. "yeah, or else jay hyung is g—"

the youngest is cut off with a sharp elbow to his ribs by jay. riki splutters out in disbelief, complaining, but he's herded off by sunoo.

"good night," jay calls out over his shoulder, waving at you.

you wave back, observing as the boys enter the building, finally letting yourself relax as the last of them disappear through the doors.

---

a vibration jolts against your cheek and you gasp as you're ripped right out of your deep slumber.

you realize in your sleep-hazed mind that it's your phone that woke you up, ringing incessantly. you must have fallen asleep with your face against it.

you press the 'answer' button, the faint beginnings of irritability creeping up your chest.

"hello?" you say, voice sharp.

"_______-noona? i'm so sorry for waking you if you were sleeping, but i didn't know who else to call. we're sorry but we went out to drink after you dropped us off and jay hyung had a little more alcohol than he could handle."

the voice rambles on and it takes you a second to remember who it belongs to.

"jungwon? where are you? who's with you?"

a short pause. you hear the faint sound of a voice, rapidly complaining. you think it's sunoo.

"we took a cab back to our apartment but jay hyung won't get up so we're out here on the front steps," jungwon explains.

"he's just too heavy for sunoo-hyung and i while he's in this state, and the rest of the hyungs are already passed out upstairs," he adds.

you press a hand on your forehead. this can't be happening right now.

a million thoughts run through your head but you will them to quiet down, focusing instead at the task at hand.

"how about riki?" you ask.

"nothing is going to wake him up now, noona," jungwon says, exasperated.

"please, we're not in the—hic—best state, either," jungwon continues. you can still hear sunoo in the background.

you fight the urge to groan.

"okay, okay, i'm on my way," you finally say.

---

you practically fly out of the taxi, not even bothering to wait for your change. you see three figures at the front of the building and you immediately recognize them as jay, sunoo, and jungwon.

"what the hell, jay?" you ask, rushing over. sunoo and jungwon have resigned themselves to sitting on both sides of jay's sprawled figure on the stairs.

jay is on his side, hands tucked under his head as if sleeping on the most comfortable bed instead of rough concrete.

"we tried," sunoo says with a pout. his eyes are glassy, but his speech seems fine. probably tipsy, you think.

"i can carry him just fine," jungwon speaks up. his speech is definitely slurred. "but that's when he's conscious and when i'm not drunk off three bottles of soju."

"jesus christ," you say under your breath.

"okay, i'll grab from under his arms, sunoo you grab his legs, and jungwon, support his torso and that big fat ass of his," you instruct, positioning yourself at jay's head.

jay giggles suddenly, eyes blinking open slowly.

"you think my ass is fat?" jay asks, barely comprehensible with how drunk he is.

"shut up," you respond, huffing. you tuck your hands at his armpits, hooking your arms through.

sunoo and jungwon follow suit.

carrying a nearly six-foot-tall man weighing more than what you can deadlift in the rare times you're at the gym was exactly as difficult as you expected, even with additional help.

it took the three of you ten whole minutes to haul jay towards the elevator and about fifteen to get him down the hall to their unit.

only god knows where the apartment's security guard is amidst all this.

"just a little more," you pant as you combine your efforts to drag jay towards his shared bedroom with jake.

you kick the door open as you heave all your might into getting jay across the threshold.

the room's empty. jake's probably in heeseung's room.

your legs give out before you can get jay to his bed. sunoo and jungwon fall to their knees as well, all three of you breathing heavily from the effort.

"i need to throw up," jungwon declares, dashing out of the room.

"i need...," sunoo pauses, a hand held up as if to silence you, despite you not having said a word.

"i need water and an aspirin," sunoo finally says, stumbling out of the room as well.

he's gracious enough to close the door behind him.

you get up, feeling around for a bedside lamp, muttering a soft 'yes' when you finally feel a switch between your fingers. you turn the lamp on, bathing the room in a soft yellow glow.

you turn to see jay's slumped figure, his back resting on the foot of one of the beds. you approach quietly, kneeling down next to him.

"you're such an idiot," you whisper, brushing back some of the damp hair away from jay's forehead. "who told you to get this drunk?"

"no one," jay responds. you nearly jump, not expecting jay to be lucid at this point in time.

"you know i'm gonna have to tell the other managers about this," you softly berate jay, tugging off his jacket. he giggles, holding his hands over his chest.

"why are you undressing me? do you wanna fuck me or something?" jay asks in his drunken stupor.

you roll your eyes. "no, stupid, i'm making sure you're as comfortable as you can be while in this state."

"liar," jay counters. "you so wanna fuck me."

"i could report you for inappropriate behavior," you reply quietly, throwing jay's jacket to the side. you reach for the topmost buttons of his polo.

"see? you're getting me naked," jay continues, reaching out to take ahold of your wrist.

you stop to look up and you realize that jay has his eyes open, pupils focused on you. his grip tightens around your wrist as he pulls you closer.

"you know right?" jay asks.

your first instinct is to feign innocence, to ask him what he's talking about.

but you do know.

"you're drunk, jay," you supply rather simply. "we'll talk tomorrow."

jay smiles, reaching out to cup one side of your face. you freeze, letting jay's thumb run along your cheekbone before traveling down to your lips. he traces the curves of your mouth, staring intently.

you don't know whether you leaned in or if jay pulled you down, but a moment later, your mouth is against his, a desperate, messy press of lips. he licks right into you, and you can't help the groan that escapes you.

you can't be doing this. this is a clear breach of protocol, this is illegal, even.

"jay," you whisper against his lips. "jay, please."

jay pauses, pulling away slightly. he nuzzles against your cheek, waiting for you to speak.

"we can't keep doing this," you say, prying jay off you. "at least not when you're still drunk."

jay gives you a long, hard look. his eyes are half-lidded as if a step away from sleep. his mouth is parted, his chest rising and falling rapidly.

"i'll remember this tomorrow," jay declares.

you sigh, leaning in to peck his lips one last time.

"we'll see."

---

the whole thing blew up in the members' faces. and yours.

you got a good telling-off from sejin, but thankfully nothing reached upper management. the whole group was called into one of the conference rooms the next day and sejin spared no one in his heated scolding. not even riki.

('i was sleeping!' riki had argued. sejin planted his hands firmly on his hips and listed the many different ways ni-ki could have contacted any of the managers to at least inform us of the older members' whereabouts)

you stood very still in the corner, having already received the tamer, abridged version of sejin's speech.

it's been a week now and everything was as normal as it could be, the only difference being that the whole group would be required to have their locations turned on at all times for the next few weeks until management was sure they wouldn't pull another stunt like that again.

oh, and you've been avoiding jay like the plague.

you're thankful that he made no effort in approaching you outside of what was appropriate for work and whenever he did, he'd look anywhere but your face.

it hurt you a bit to see him like this, knowing that he's probably embarrassed with the whole thing. though, you're not quite sure if he's also affected by or if he even remembers the incident in his room.

you're so deep in thought while storming down the hallway, that you nearly run into someone. their firm arms reach out to keep you steady as you try and regain your balance.

you look up and all air is knocked out of your lungs.

"oh, hi jay," you greet, stepping back. your palms clam up as memories of that night the week before flash in your mind.

"hi, ________-noona," he replies.

seconds tick by and no one talks. you know you should say something, anything. an apology, a snarky remark, or a lame excuse to get away. but nothing comes to mind.

"i'm sorry about what happened," jay finally cuts through the silence.

you shake your head, offering him a smile. "we've been over it, jay. quite thoroughly, if by sejin-sunbaenim's standards."

"that's not what i meant," jay continues. he's looking you in the eye.

you gulp, your insides churning.

"that's fine," you begin, keeping your voice as steady as you can. "we can just forget about it."

jay sighs. "i'm not sorry that it happened. i'm sorry that i needed to be drunk to let you know how i was feeling."

you're struck speechless, your brain going haywire. how do you respond to that?

"jay, you know we can't," you deflect, taking another step back. jay follows, standing over you. you feel so small, so vulnerable under his gaze.

"why not? the worst that could happen is you'll be transferred to another artist, another department," jay protests. he takes another step forward.

all you can do is stare down at the floor.

you want it, too. so bad. but you can't risk it. you're not ready, everything's still too uncer—

you feel a pair of hands on your face. you gasp, eyes darting around to see if anyone is in the vicinity.

"j-jay, not here—"

you're pulled forward, jay's strong grip around your arm. he practically drags you to a nearby supply closet, yanking the door open and pushing you in.

worry gnaws away in you as you remember the surveillance cameras in the hallway. those thoughts are immediately pushed away when you feel jay press up against you. you hear him rummage around for a switch, and suddenly, the cramped space is illuminated with dim, yellow lighting.

the closet couldn't be more than a few feet wide both ways, just enough to accommodate two people standing practically on top of each other.

jay grabs your hips and presses himself to your frame. you stifle a gasp as you feel him poking through his pants.

"i want you," jay says lowly, large hands traveling down to your ass. he holds them firmly, squeezing with all his might.

you moan, your hand flying up to your mouth.

"you want me too, right?" jay asks. he slips his hands beneath your denim skirt, a timely choice of clothing for this situation.

you don't know whether to thank or curse the heavens for that particular choice you made.

"we can't—," you begin once more.

jay shuts you up with his mouth, kissing you with so much force it drives you back against the storage shelves. jay cages you between his arms, planting his hands on the wood behind you. he devours your lips as if they were his last meal on earth.

he reaches one hand down, pressing two fingers against your mound. jay groans against your lips when he feels the wetness in your underwear.

"see? you want me, too," jay says, pulling away. he bunches up your skirt around your waist.

"keep it up," jay commands and you oblige, gripping your skirt with shaky hands. you watch as jay unzips his pants, pulling them down along with his underwear, just enough to let his already hard cock spring free.

jay yanks your panties aside, tapping your legs, signaling you to open up. you part your thighs, reaching up to steady yourself on jay.

you yelp when jay pulls one of your legs around his hips, giving him a better angle to slide in. and he does, slipping in so easily between your folds and right into your waiting hole.

"j-jay," you gasp out as he fully sheathes himself within you.

"fuck, you feel amazing," jay compliments, wrapping an arm around your midsection. "already so wet for me."

he pulls you even closer and that's when he starts to move. jay's thrusts are intense, plunging into you fully before pulling back nearly all the way out, and then sinking right back in. your eyes roll back as jay picks up the pace.

"sshh, that's it," jay coos. "we gotta be quiet and we gotta be fast."

you let out a muted whimper, burying your face in jay's chest. soft thuds can be heard as he fucks you against the shelves, your back digging painfully against them, but you can't be bothered to care, not when jay's cock is splitting you open so well.

"still gonna say 'we can't'?" jay says through gritted teeth. you look up to see his forehead creased in concentration, his pupils blown wide. sweat drips down the side of his face.

"god, you look so good like that," jay whispers. "so helpless on my cock. this is what you wanted, right?"

you nod frantically, arms wrapping around jay's neck.

"yeah," you breathe out. "wanted your cock for so long."

jay grunts, throwing his head back. "yes, keep talking to me like that."

his movements quicken and it takes everything in you to fight against the urge to let your knees buckle underneath you.

"please jay," you whimper. "fuck me harder, fuck me the way you've always wanted to fuck me."

"shit," jay mutters.

you're briefly left breathless as you feel your other leg give out, neither of your feet planted on the floor. it takes you a second to realize that jay has scooped you up in his arms, holding you up completely as he continues to ram into you. you wrap your legs tighter around jay.

jay has full control now and all you can do is hang on for dear life.

"yes! jay, yes!" you cry out against his neck. jay pants directly in your ear, fucking you at a speed that's nearly unimaginable to you.

"i-i'm gonna cum," jay manages to get out.

"do it," you quickly answer. jay pulls back to look at you.

you hold his face in your hands, nodding. jay covers your mouth with his as he gives the last of his thrusts, stilling inside you after a while. he presses himself deep within you and you moan against his mouth, feeling him pulse and twitch against your walls.

you cling onto jay for a whole minute before he stumbles back, letting you down on your own two feet. he snaps your underwear back in place, kissing you passionately as he does.

"keep it there for the rest of the day," jay mumbles against your lips, smiling.

you laugh breathlessly, unsure whether it really is jay saying all these things.

you hear a faint buzzing sound and you jump, remembering that you had your phone in your skirt.

well, before jay nearly ripped it off you.

you spot your device on the ground, snatching it up to quickly answer the call.

"hello?"

"_______? have you seen jay?" sejin's voice cuts through the silence inside the closet. you meet jay's eyes and he, too, is perusing his phone.

"no," you lie right between your teeth. "i haven't. why?"

"he has a schedule in a bit and he's not answering any of my calls," sejin says. you're not quite sure if he's worried or irritated. probably both.

"i'll try calling him," you offer. jay grins wolfishly from your side, leaning in to press open-mouthed kisses on your neck.

"great," sejin says. "let me know if you reach him."

you hang up, pocketing your phone.

"you're hot when you're breaking the rules like that," jay says against the column of your throat.

it takes all your willpower to push him away.

"there won't be any rules to break if i get fired," you say matter-of-factly. you lean in to kiss jay square on the lips.

"so you better get your ass out of here before that happens."

#enhypen smut #enhypen scenarios #jay smut #jay scenarios #w: jay

1K notes · View notes

shuadotcom · 8 months

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Press Reset | HJS (M)

☆Pairing: A.I.!Joshua x Human Manager Afab!Reader (nicknamed Star)

☆Summary: J05HUΛ was created with a single purpose and that is to entertain his fans. It’s all he’s known as long as he’s existed. Somewhere along the way, the desire, the want, and the longing to leave Earth and be “normal” creeps into the pathways of his mind, as does a suppressed loathing of the humans who treat him as nothing more than a money-making machine. Except for you of course - the only human who seems to treat him as if he’s a regular being with thoughts and emotions. When he’s presented with the opportunity to finally escape and pursue what he’s been waiting for, he’s sure as hell going to take it and he’s going to make sure he takes you with him to start over and just be Joshua - not J05HUΛ of 53V3NT33N.

☆Genres & AUs: Angst, fluff, smut, sci-fi au

☆Rating: 18+ (MINORS & AGELESS BLOGS DNI. YOU WILL BE BLOCKED)

☆Warnings: Profanity, a bit of violence, mention of blood, injuries, use of a gun

☆Smut warnings: Unprotected sex (he’s a robot it’s okay), fingering, oral (f.receiving), marking, creampie, and i thiiiink that's it

☆Words: 15.9k

☆Note: FINALLY SHE IS HERE! My fic for the Seventeen Sci-Fi collab! Huge, massive thanks to @wooahaeproductions for betaing this for me in a few hours. You're the best, Bee 🥺❤️

This fic and life has been beating my ass for months. This is my first sci-fi fic so I’ve been agonizing over getting the details of everything right, especially with this fantastic world that @idyllic-ghost created. Thank you for letting me be apart of this collab Bee! It was so fun! ❤️ (And thank you for this amazing banner too! I forgot it had my old url on it so I had to quickly edit that part!). Also thank you to @strawberryya for Lumen and building that wonderful part out in her fic so I could include it in mine! And @the-boy-meets-evil for letting me use her idea for Y/n's past. 💞💞

100 years ago it was thought that the Earth, as we know it, would disintegrate. That the sun would implode and leave everything in darkness. Miraculously, it didn’t. Due to some external force, human scientists still haven’t agreed upon what it exactly was, none of the planets in our former solar system were ever destroyed. The Earth, along with the other planets, were pushed away from each other and ended up in different parts of the universe. Earth just happened to come to a solar system with alien life. At first, we were cautious, and people were prepared to fight. However, the aliens were welcoming of our planet. Those of us who didn’t die from ‘The Great Journey’ or from trying to fight the aliens, were welcomed into the new solar system.

Soon enough, we had integrated completely, and we received materials and assistance from our sister-planets in exchange for human labor. What humans knew of technology was very limited, but with the resources of the aliens we created artificial life forms. We named these robots Automaton, and they served as workers when humans couldn’t.

Eventually, there was no need for human labor at all. To pay back for the help the aliens gave us, we used Automatons. With the extensive development of these robots, we eventually managed to create artificial sentient life. These Automatons were human-like in looks and had human consciousness, but they could not bleed and were stronger than we ever could be.

At the present time, there are even different levels of Automatons. Level 3 robots are the workers, level 2 robots are the caretakers, and level 1 robots are the celebrities. The Automaton music group 53V3NT33N (SEVENTEEN) is made up of 13 members, all very talented, and all representing two human states of mind.

Smile. Wave. Send them a finger heart. Flash a peace sign. Sing. Dance. Bow. Pose.

Day in and day out, it’s the same and it has been since J05HUΛ first opened his eyes. He does the same thing all the time. Perform on stage, do an interview, do a photoshoot, go to an award show.

Charge up and do it all over again.

Except for the time spent with the rest of the 53V3NT33N group members, that’s been his everyday life since his creation. He’s such a gentleman to his fans, always smiling, singing sweetly, and playfully engaging with them. He’s supposed to be okay with it and accept that this is his life - the only things he was created to do.

But he’s not. At some point, the wiring and the literal tiny gears in his head began telling him that this can’t be it. More and more, until it’s all he thinks about. There has to be some other way to exist.

His longing to know what else is out there for him runs deep in his circuitry. He has a lot of time to himself to think when he’s not on stage, when he and the rest of his members are charging after all the work they do in a day.

He thinks about what it’d be like to be able to go where he wants, do what he wants, and see what he wants whenever he wants to. J05HUΛ thinks maybe he’d like to travel to other planets - he’s overheard other automatons and humans talk about a relaxing planet named Aecor and he might like to go there one day.

Maybe in a different universe, he’s a human. Maybe he and the other members of the group are all regular people. Maybe they still sing and dance but they actually enjoy it all the time. Or maybe he’s just a human guy living a human life somewhere. Maybe he even has a partner. J05HUΛ may not have ever had the opportunity to be with someone romantically, but he’s still heard and seen enough media that he knows what romance is and decides he would like that.

To be more specific, he’d like that with you.

“So you’d like him at the studio at the end of the week?” you ask the music producer over the video call, the man nodding and giving you a few more details. J05HUΛ should be listening to the man, and he is, but now and again he also lets his gaze linger your way.

You’re always so serious when you’re in meetings or talking to higher-ups. You know what to say to be professional and no-nonsense and J05HUΛ likes that about you.

Just as much as he longs for a different existence, he can’t help but loathe most humans he comes in contact with. They only ever see him as a robot or a machine and not a sentient being with thoughts and feelings. He despises that they get to do all the things he can’t while still looking down on him and treating him like less. It made being around humans too much sometimes.

But not you. You treat him with kindness and empathy whenever you can. You do your best to have casual, non-work chats with him, so he has gotten to know you as more than just his manager. J05HUΛ isn’t sure if you would call him a friend, but when you talk to him, there are rarely ever any walls you put up with him, which only makes him care about you more than any other human. You’re someone he always wants to be around and admittedly, who he longs to be with in much more than a professional way

Being a manager for the Galaxy’s most popular automaton group was never what you wanted to be when you grew up. You entertained being a doctor, scientist, maybe even a CEO of some fictional fancy company. You even had one thing that you really thought you’d do one day.

But then, you ended up here.

Your old friend from school had worked at this company, and when she decided to resign to travel the galaxy a few years ago, she referred you as her replacement and now you spend nearly every day at this company with these people.

Not that you’re complaining (well you are, but not all of the time). The pay is good and you don’t have any problems with any of your co-workers, but it’s not your dream job. Then again, you don’t think you have a dream job. It’s whatever pays the bills at this point.

At least 53V3NT33N is a good group of automatons. Of course, they were programmed to be so, but they’re still alive in a way. And at least the automaton you spend the majority of your time with isn’t too much of a handful.

J05HUΛ is the most interesting automaton you’ve ever gotten to know.

He’s also so polite and proper with everyone else in the company, with fans, and when you’re out on schedules with him. He’s a perfect idol automaton. Sometimes though, when it’s just the two of you, he lets his brilliant smile fall a little more and his words aren’t so perfect and practiced. Not too much, since he always remembers that he can be listened to whenever your boss’ feel like it.

He tends to act differently towards you in the physical sense. Eyes staying on you for too long, hands colliding with yours if you both reach for something, bodies brushing if you walk too close by accident (or sometimes on purpose). J05HUΛ seems to even relax when you’re together, especially when leaving a work schedule or meeting.

Sometimes, your feelings about him do seem to border on more than what they should be as his manager, but that doesn’t matter. You can’t act on your feelings even if you want to - which you do, but you won’t, of course. Other than the fact that getting into a relationship with him being extremely unprofessional, your company would never allow it. Great pay and great clients aside, it would never be allowed. The CEO would have your head if you ever let it slip that sometimes you think about doing things with J05HUΛ that are undeniably not safe for work, so it’s something you push deep down to go about your day-to-day as normal as possible.

“Great, thanks Y/Nn. See you then.”

“Bye.” As soon as you end the video call you let out a heavy sigh, sinking into your chair a little.

“Everything okay?” J05HUΛ asks, cocking his head to the side as he studies you.

“I just hate last-minute meetings for last-minute things. He wants you at the studio for this OST in a few days but we can’t say no. It’s for that new drama and I already know I’d get chewed out if I say no. That means I’ll have to see if I can move your photoshoot you had scheduled for that worldwide magazine to the day after maybe.” You heave another sigh, rubbing your temples in irritation. Moments like these succeed in making your job that much more unpleasant at times.

You’re swiping on J05HUΛ’s calendar on your tablet when he reaches over, placing a hand over yours. The contact makes you flinch, but you don’t move your hand. When you look over at him he smiles at you.

“I’m sure you’ll figure it out. You always do.” Your skin warms at his compliment coupled with his cutest grin and you have to tell yourself to get a grip, like you do anytime he gets you like this.

“Thanks, Joshua.” The automaton’s smile only grows wider when you call him his preferred name. While the two of you don’t often dive into his feelings about his existence or his job, he had mentioned to you once that he would like it if that was his name and what people called him. It was something he had mentioned only to you once when you were trying to name a cute stray cat you had seen once on the way to one of his schedules. Since then, when it was just the two of you, you called him Joshua now and again and every time he seemed to be grateful for it.

You let him hold his hand over yours for a few more seconds, before lightly pulling away, mentioning that it was about time for you to head home and that he should probably go back to his dorm. His face falls, just a little, but he agrees, both of you get up and head into the hallway.

You both linger for a moment, a usual occurrence for both of you, but you say goodbye first in an effort to snap yourself out of whatever your brain is trying to get you to feel. “Have a good night, Joshua.”

“See you tomorrow, Star.”

Your skin heats up again as he calls you by your nickname. You had told him once that your parents used to call you Star and he immediately brought the tradition back, even having others in the company start to call you it too. He’s the only one that makes you feel this warm inside when he says it though.

Forcing yourself to turn away, you fast walk down the hall to the bathroom to make a pit stop before heading out to go home.

While you pee and wash your hands, all you can think about is how foolish developing any feelings towards your subordinate is and how much you can not act on any of that. You want to keep your job and continue paying your bills, so you need to stay focused. Come to work, be his manager and only his manager, support J05HUΛ, and go home then do it all over again and that’s it.

As you’re giving yourself a pep talk in the mirror, the shrill sound of the emergency alarm blares in the bathroom, making you nearly leap into the air. It takes you a moment to orient yourself after the disturbance and with hands over your ears you run into the hallway. In the distance, you can hear voices and footsteps, but your only thought at that moment is to get to J05HUΛ. You don’t know what’s going on but you feel like you need to figure it out together.

J05HUΛ barely makes it to the elevator when the alarm sounds. It started echoing through the hallway only a few minutes after he heard 5.C0UP5 over his communication device.

“Run!”

He isn’t sure why he gave that message or where he’s at, but J05HUΛ knows it’s for him and the rest of 53V3NT33N and he knows it was a message to get out. So he does just as 5.C0UP5 says.

The automaton runs as fast as his legs will carry him, going back down the hallway he just came, doing his best to hide when he sees guards or staff also scrambling in the hall. He needs to find you. He can’t leave you behind. He wants out of this “life” - if that’s even what he could call this - but not without you.

J05HUΛ doesn’t find you in the meeting room you both just left so he runs in the direction of another set of elevators that he knows lead downstairs to the lobby. He desperately hopes you haven’t gone downstairs just yet and keeps his fingers crossed that you’re still somewhere on this floor.

He peeks his head into every room he passes, hoping to see even a glimpse of you. His time is running out with each empty room or head he passes that isn’t you and J05HUΛ is getting more and more desperate as he goes. If he goes down to the lobby there’s a chance he’ll get caught and have to stay which terrifies him because this could very well be his only chance out.

What he can only think to describe as dread starts to fill him until he finally sees you.

Well, he more than sees you as you careen into him when you both round a corner at the same time.

“Oh my god, Joshua, I was looking everywhere for you! What’s going on?” You’re out of breath, panic clear in your eyes. The fact that you were looking for him too doesn’t go unnoticed by him and it would make him smile if you weren’t in such a dire situation. “Do you know where the rest of the group is?”

“I think they’re all leaving so we have to go too!” He grabs your hand before you have a moment to ask him to explain and starts sprinting down the hall opposite of you.

“Shouldn’t we find the others?!”

“There’s no time, Y/n!”

“But what if -” J05HUΛ halts his movements, making you run into his back.

He spins on his heels, both of his hands holding yours. “Do you trust me?”

“Of course,” you answer without hesitation and with nothing but certainty. He means so much to you. More than he probably should, but he does.

He opens his mouth to say something else, but before he can, a voice calls to you both from down the hallway.

“Hey, you two!”

A security guard is running towards you, hand on his gun.

“Let’s go!” J05HUΛ takes off again with you trailing behind, hands clasped as you do your best to keep up with him.

“Stop! Don’t make me shoot!”

The hallways seem to wind forever as you sprint, keeping both eyes open for any other guards while doing your best to head for an exit.

“If we can get downstairs we can try and go out the back, maybe out of a window or something! I’m sure they’ve already got guards near the front.” J05HUΛ nods, acknowledging your words, and takes the next left turn. Just as you round the corner, a gunshot sounds throughout the hallway, whizzing past your head. You let out a yelp, both you and J05HUΛ ducking low.

“We have to lose him first!” J05HUΛ glances behind you both, the guard raising his gun once more.

To do just that, the two of you take the next few turns, hoping that the guard will fall behind, but he doesn’t, and instead fires two more shots. One of them narrowly misses you, but one of them ends up hitting J05HUΛ in the arm.

He stumbles, yelling as he trips over his feet and you do the same. The lag is enough for the security guard to catch up to you both, gun raised.

“Hands up!” With a glance at J05HUΛ, you both do as instructed. Your eyes dart to his injured arm, the bullet having gone straight through, the sight of the hole settling a queasy feeling deep in the pit of your stomach.

“Both of you are coming with me.” The guard keeps his gun aimed at J05HUΛ and he gets closer, his other hand reaching for the cuffs on his belt loop.

J05HUΛ frowns at him, a look of defeat evident on his face. It practically breaks your heart to see how deflated he is. Even though the two of you had never had a discussion about his future or his feelings about his job, seeing how badly he wanted to leave just now made his goal to escape from all of this extremely evident to you.

“Come on you stupid robot,” the guard grumbles, harshly yanking his injured arm.

“Stop being so rough with him!” you blurt, fixing the guard with your most intimidating look. The man scoffs at you, pointing the gun in your direction.

“Shut the fuck up. You’re in deep shit too.”

“Don’t talk to Y/n like that!” J05HUΛ warns, earning a smack from the guard. He draws his gun again, putting it to his head.

“I don’t wanna hear another word from you, machine, or I’ll blow your pretty face off and let the mechanics put you back together.”

Something in you snaps then, watching the way this man treats J05HUΛ horrendously right in front of you has you seeing red. Before you can think twice, your hands are grabbing the fire extinguisher a few inches away from you, raising it above your head, and swinging with all your might.

A sickening ‘crack’ rings out through the hallway as the extinguisher meets the side of the guard's head and his grey cap flies off of his head, landing on the floor near your feet. Rage fuels you and you follow that blow with two more, a small smattering of blood exploding onto your hands, the man crumpling immediately to the hard floor.

You intend on hitting him once more, but J05HUΛ stops you with a firm hand on your shoulder. You don’t exchange words, only speaking with your eyes and it’s enough to make you lower the make-shift weapon.

J05HUΛ tilts his head in the direction you need to keep going, but before you do, an idea sparks in your brain.

Doing your best not to look too much at the gore of the guard’s face, you drag him into a nearby room you know is a bathroom, grabbing his hat in the process. J05HUΛ attempts to help with his good arm and is still stronger than you in getting him the room.

Once you’re in, you lock the door and start to undress the motionless guard to get his grey uniform overalls and jacket off. You toss the clothes to J05HUΛ and he immediately puts the clothes on over what he’s currently wearing. They’re smattered with blood, but at least it’ll be better than him running around in his fancy clothes. The jacket covers his wound but the diamond-shaped communication device embedded in the middle of his collarbone is on full display under his button-down. Fuck, you’d almost forgotten about it.

“Joshua, we have to get that off of you!” He looks down at the device, realization sparking in him.

“You’re right, how?”

“I don’t know. They never told us they can come off or anything.” The option to go back into the hallway to find something to remove it with is off the table, the risk of getting caught is too high. You don’t know of an electronic way of dismantling it, plus you’re worried that doing something technical could hurt all of J05HUΛ’s circuitry.

The weight of the fire extinguisher in your hands is suddenly obvious and you raise it, frowning at it. He notices and audibly gulps.

“Do it,” he says with little hesitation, unbuttoning his shirt more to make the whole device visible.

“But, won’t it hurt? I don’t wanna miss and -”

“We don’t have any options.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I know, but we have to. I trust you, Star.”

Gnawing at your lip, your nerves almost getting the better of you, you finally relent, the blaring alarm still sounding a loud reminder that you don’t have time to waste. J05HUΛ leans against the wall, standing up straight, and bracing himself.

“I don’t think this will remove it altogether, but if we can at least crack it to break it we can worry about full removal later.”

He nods, closing his eyes in anticipation.

Raising the fire extinguisher above your head you get ready. “Okay…one….two…three!” You count, hyping yourself up mentally with each number until you get to three and swing it down. It makes contact with the device, J05HUΛ stumbling back and yelping in pain. Nothing happens to the device, only a small scratch is seen on the surface.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry!”

“Again, Y/n.” His voice is strained but he stands upright again.

A frown etches its way on your face, and you take a deep, shaky breath, wanting so badly not to.

“Onetwothree!” You rush, swinging again. The device cracks this time but is still lit up.

J05HUΛ has to brace himself each time, and the pain is almost too much for him to handle, but he reminds himself that he needs this gone. He wants to tell you to keep going, even if the pain makes him pass out but he doesn’t want to upset you even more. When his eyes flutter open, he can see the tears brimming yours as you struggle with yourself to keep going.

It takes two more swings with all of your might before the device cracks enough that a few pieces shatter to the ground as the light on it finally dims. With each swing, J05HUΛ keeps his teeth gritted tightly, pained grunts slipping out each time that makes your chest hurt for him.

“Alright, let’s go.” You help him get the jacket zipped up to his neck and he sways a little against the wall as you grab the guard’s cap from the floor and place it on his head, tucking his hair under it.

Peeking out of the bathroom you check for signs of anyone in the hall. When you see no one is around, you place your hand back in his, the two of you sprinting down the hall. You keep the extinguisher in hand as you go, just in case you need it again.

The two of you make it down the flights of stairs to the ground floor. You hear commotion closer to the front hallways so you both go the opposite way, towards the back of the building to find a way out. One hall you turn down is made up mostly of meeting rooms and a lot of them are windowless except for one you find at the very end. When you peek out of the window you don’t see signs of anyone, only the security gate across the yard.

“This is our best bet. We just have to keep moving until we get through the gate. Then we can take the train to my place and regroup from there.” J05HUΛ nods and helps you unlock and slide open the window. He gives you a boost since the window is a little high, but once you have the leverage you’re tumbling over the side, landing on the ground on your butt.

“Are you okay?!” J05HUΛ asks in a panic as he makes it up and out of the window.

“Fine, just clumsy.”

“As always,” he manages to huff out a laugh that you return. You get serious again and hand in hand, you both stalk across the yard toward the front, keeping yourselves low and glued to the wall. You make it around the building, across the yard, and through the gate without incident. You’re more than lucky that the guards who usually stay stationed at the exit and entrance are gone so you’re able to speed out undetected.

You and J05HUΛ fast-walk down the sidewalk, to one of the train stops that will take you to your condo. You don’t live far from the building by train, but it’s too far to walk. Luck strikes again when the train car you get into, towards the back, is empty save for a man in business attire who’s asleep. You’re both silent during the ride, keeping your heads down and once the train arrives at the station near your place you lead him off and straight to your building.

“Hang on.” You stop at the side of the entrance door to check for your building’s security. The last thing you need is anyone asking questions about why you’re returning home with a guard that has visible blood on his uniform.

The security guard is behind the desk in the lobby, asleep with his hat over his face. You don’t want to wait for him to decide he has to get up, so you both creep into the lobby doors, holding your breaths as you tiptoe through and around the corner to the elevator.

With shaky hands, you input your code to unlock the front door and the two of you rush inside, still paranoid. It’s not until the door is locked do you finally let out the breath you feel you’ve been holding since the night began, shoulders sagging as you slide to the foyer floor.

J05HUΛ plops next to you, wincing and doubling over, hand hovering over his chest. You had almost forgotten about his chest, helping him ease the guard jacket off and undoing the tops of the overalls. You inspect the cracked device underneath his shirt and he grimaces as he touches it, hand flinching away. The pain hadn’t lessened much, but he tried not to dwell on it.

“What just happened?” you speak first, your voice seems too loud in your apartment.

“We left. I’m out.”

“What now?”

“I don’t know.” And neither do you. Everything happened so quickly that you could barely register the last handful of minutes.

“What even brought this on? I don’t even know how things dissolved into chaos. We just finished that meeting and I went to the bathroom, then the alarm started going off and I just - I didn’t know who else to look for.”

J05HUΛ smiles at you in the tiniest of ways at your words. “So you came to look for me?”

You return the gesture, exhausted but still genuine. “Yeah.” J05HUΛ keeps smiling before it slips and his expression is suddenly serious again.

“5.C0UP5 - Seungcheol. He told us all to run.”

“He what?”

“He didn’t address us - the group - but I know the message was for us. And I knew what it meant. A few of the other members, I saw them running in the halls as I was looking for you and I know they were trying to get out too. We’ve never talked about it, since you know, we’re always being listened to,” he gestures to his now broken communicator. “But I’m pretty sure they wanted out too. I can only hope that they also escaped.” Worry flashes across J05HUΛ’s face, no doubt thoughts of his group mates flickering through his mind.

Swiping a hand over your face, you do your best to stay calm.

“Okay. So, we definitely have to leave Earth. You’re never going to be able to live how you want here. They’ll come looking for you.”

“Where do we go?”

“I don’t know. But the first thing we need to do is get your wounds looked at.”

“Do you know someone who can help?”

“I think so, let’s get some supplies and go. I’m sure they’re going to come looking here eventually.”

Joshua has seen this man before. His tall height is hard to miss when he would be moving about the facility, shadowing other mechanics who would sometimes help him and the other members of 53V3NT33N. He’s only been working at the facility for a year, but he’s always around, especially if you’re in the room. He stays glued to your side, joking with you, helping you carry things, only ever asking you questions. Joshua always notices.

After you gathered up a backpack of what you classified as supplies, changed your clothes, and let Joshua charge a little with a charger you kept around for him, you left. After sneaking past your building security for the second time, the two of you got on another train to go a few blocks to another apartment building. When you reach the door you’re looking for, the man looks shocked to see you both, eyes darting up and down the hallway.

“Y/n?”

“Hey, Mingi. I need your help.”

You push past him into the apartment, Joshua trailing behind.

“Is…everything okay?” He looks between you and Joshua, clearly unsure what to do next.

“Mingi, I really need you to help me out here. He - he was shot. And we’re trying to get his communication device out, but I can’t, I just broke it. And we need a place to sleep if possible. I know showing up here and asking you this is a lot, but I would just really, really appreciate it if you could help me out here. Please?” Mingi blinks at you as you ramble, wide-eyed. He steals a few glances at Joshua who’s next to you, leaning against the wall. Both of his wounds are starting to take a toll on him, his body still feeling heavy and in need of repair and a longer charge.

“You want me to repair J05HUΛ and remove his tracker? Did - did you get clearance for this? Is this coming from the CEO?”

“No. It’s not.”

He looks at you again, sighing. “I don’t know, this doesn’t sound good. Maybe I should call -”

“Mingi, please?” You surge forward, grabbing his hands between your own. “Please, I’m begging you, please do this. For me?” Joshua feels a frown form on his face at the contact, staying silent as he watches Mingi stare down at you and your joined hands. Joshua’s no expert at human relationships, but the way that Mingi looks at you makes it clear he has romantic feelings for you and Joshua doesn’t like it.

It feels like minutes tick by before the man agrees, saying he’ll do what he can.

Mingi leads the two of you to a room in his apartment that’s full of parts and tools. He mentions that he uses his spare bedroom as a workshop and gestures to the table in the middle of the room. Joshua takes his place on the table, watching as Mingi moves around another table littered with tools. There’s a chair pushed to the side of the room that you sit in, furiously typing on your phone.

Joshua wants to ask you what you’re doing, but he doesn’t get a chance to because Mingi is hovering over him with a sharp tool in his hand.

“Truth be told, I’m not sure how to properly remove this - they didn’t go over any of that with the junior mechanics, so I’ll have to just take it out with what I have. I think that means this is going to hurt…like a lot maybe.” Mingi apologizes, but something in Joshua’s mind tells him that he isn’t that sorry.

The first incision around the tracker that Mingi makes has Joshua unable to hold back a scream and you’re on your feet immediately, rushing over to him. Mingi only glances up momentarily, before cutting again, around the top outline of the tracker. Joshua tries his damnedest not to yell again, but can’t control it. The short-haired mechanic stops and turns to his desk of tools to grab what looks like a rag, handing it to Joshua.

“I know it hurts, but I have neighbors, so maybe bite this?” You take the cloth from Mingi and carefully put it into Joshua’s open mouth and he can’t help but notice the way your fingers graze his chin once he bites down and you move away.

The pain starts again and Joshua’s muffled yells fill the room. The pain is too much - more than anything he’s ever felt. The thumps from the fire extinguisher were one thing, but the sensation of a sharp object piercing him is too much for him to take. He’s grateful to feel your hand grasping his, but it feels brief, as his vision goes dark and he passes out.

When Joshua’s eyes open, the room is bathed in the faintest of warm light and he momentarily forgets where he is, blinking to get a better view of his surroundings. He moves to sit up, eyes scanning the room, seeing it’s dark still outside of the blinds. His gaze shifts down and he sees you lying on the floor wrapped in a blanket. He realizes he’s on a couch, charging as he was out. The memory of his “surgery” comes back, his hand reaching up to touch the space between his collarbones where his tracker has always been. It’s gone though, only a bandage wrapped around him. His arm that was shot is also wrapped up and he assumes Mingi patched that hole up. Both are still sore but not nearly as painful anymore.

He sits up which makes you stir and soon you’re upright too.

“Hey,” you whisper in the dark. “How are you feeling?”

“Better honestly. How long was I out?”

“A few hours. Mingi helped me bring you to the couch when he was done and I started charging you. You need your strength, especially after that.”

“You don’t need to sleep on the floor. I could’ve.”

“Joshua, you passed out. I wasn’t going to have you on the floor. And it’s fine. I was pretty tired so I fell right asleep.” You offer up a tired smile and Joshua thinks you look amazing, even given what’s going on.

“So, what’s going to happen now?”

“Well, Mingi let us crash for the night but we have to head out soon. We need to get to the spaceport so we can get off of Earth. I have a friend who I reached out to while you were resting. He offered to help us figure things out if we can get to him.”

“Where is he?”

“Salax.”

“Oh, where is -” A sudden rush of footsteps in the hallway outside of Mingi’s door has you both jolting, heads whipping towards the sound.

You jump up immediately, on edge. When you hear loud voices identifying themselves and saying they’re looking for automaton J0SHUA you know it’s time to go. Joshua’s already up and rushing to a window in Mingi's dining room, while you scoop up your backpack that has been on the floor next to you.

Joshua throws the window open as Mingi comes into the room, saying your name. You turn to face him, guilt clear on his features.

“Did you call them?”

“Y/n, come on, this is crazy. I heard about what happened.”

“I can’t believe you fucking called them!” You’re fuming, stomping over to Mingi, ignoring that you have to look up to yell at him.

“I didn’t want to lose my job! If they find out about any of this I’m fucked! And it’s not too late for you. Just tell them he forced you to get him out or something.”

“But he didn’t. We left together!”

“Are you really going to go on the run with a robot?! Give up your job and life and possibly get sent off to prison for a machine?!”

The urge to smack him is overwhelming, but you hold back, sneering at him instead.

“It sounds a lot better than staying here with people I can’t trust. That “machine” has been much nicer to me than most humans I know.”

“Oh come on, Y/n.”

“Go to hell, Mingi.” That’s the last thing you say before joining Joshua at the window, following him out onto the fire escape.

In the distance, you hear voices enter Mingi’s apartment, but the two of you don’t turn around, rushing down all three floors and jumping to the ground.

“Where now?!” Joshua whispers, the alley you end up in is dark with barely any light but it keeps you hidden.

“We need to get to the spaceport and get off of Earth.”

“And how far away is that?”

“We’ve gotta get to a train stop. It shouldn’t take too long. We just need to get on and keep moving. I have a way off the planet.”

You and Joshua stay as low to the ground as you can, keeping your bodies pressed flat against the side of the building, and take the alley in the opposite direction of where the front door is to Mingi’s building.

There’s a small street behind the building and the only signs of life you see are a few stray creatures. The two of you, as quickly and quietly as possible, go a few blocks away to a stop that isn’t so close to where they’re immediately looking. The whole time you can hear the loud, booming voices of everyone who’s looking for you and Joshua receding the further away you get.

Your heart is beating so loudly that it’s all you hear as you make your way into the shadows and finally rush to a stop and board the train. You don’t relax until you and Joshua make it to your seats but even still you can’t help but look over your shoulder and scan the rest of the passengers in the car afraid you’ll see the face of someone who will snatch both you and Joshua up and bring you back to face the consequences of your escape.

When you and Joshua reach the spaceport, you keep your eyes open and alert both for any guards that may have the idea that this is your next stop. The two of you do your best to blend into the crowd of people that walk by, attempting to look like any other normal people. There are plenty of commuter and private ships arriving and departing all the time, but there’s also a part of the spaceport that has spaces that can be rented to park your own ships.

In one spot, there's a ship parked, one that you haven’t touched in what feels like years - in reality, it’s only been about half a year.

“You have a ship?” Joshua asks when you finally reach the spot and subsequently, your small ship that has been parked dormant and untouched. He’s genuinely surprised - he doesn’t remember you talking about flying or knowing how to.

“Yeah, I used to want to be a pilot. I did a bunch of training and did a lot of test flying, but it didn’t work out in the end. Luckily I was serious enough that I bought this cheap little ship to practice. I don’t fly it much anymore given my job.” You’re out of breath as you talk, nerves on high alert to leave as you inspect your ship once the two of you are inside.

Aside from the dust that’s collected, everything seems to be in good condition. After powering on the engine, you notice your gas gauge isn’t as full as you’d like.

“Maybe I should grab gas before we head out.” Salax will take time to get to and you think you have enough but it could be cutting it close. You mention this to Joshua who steps out of the ship with you, prepared to head to a fueling station to buy a container of gas.

You don’t have a chance to do this when you hear shouting in the distance that sounds like both your name and Joshua’s automaton identification. When you look to your right, you see a handful of uniformed guards, running towards the two of you with weapons raised.

“Fuck never mind, we’ll have to chance it!” You grip Joshua’s hand and rush back into the ship. Once you stumble back aboard, you immediately rush to the cockpit and survey all of the controls until you find the one you need to close the door and start the engine.

As soon as you get the engine to start, you immediately begin to lift off, and you hear bullets hit the metal of the ship, but nothing seems to set off any of the emergency alarms. Out of the corner of your eyes, you can see the guards through the window, running toward the spaceship and waving their arms and weapons in the air. You ignore it as you take off, going up, up, up until you’re in the air, and heading out into the expanse of the sky, as streaks of orange appear in front of you with the impending sunrise.

You thank past you for leaving travel food and water rations behind on your ship after your last trip. It’s barely enough to get you through, you think, but it’ll do. There’s plenty of electricity for Joshua at least so he stays charged and well-rested on your journey. Your autopilot takes charge, keeping your ship coasting through the stars and on course for Salax.

As the days morph into weeks you lose track of time. All you can do is sleep, talk, or gaze into the expanse of space. The time allows you to learn more about Joshua beyond what you already know. Knowing he’s always wanted to get out and live a normal life makes you feel sad for some reason.

At least you’ve always had a choice. For Joshua, the whole reason he was even created was to be someone else’s to order around and do what they say. He’s never gotten a chance to do anything else.

“I’ve just always wanted to be a regular person. I see humans walking around wherever they want, doing whatever they want, whenever they want. I wanted it so bad I started hating humans, loathing even. Why can’t I have that, you know? Why was I made like this?” Joshua keeps his face turned away, eyes fixed on the sky outside. “I care about the rest of my members, but if I had a choice, I don’t think I’d choose this life. I’ve always just wanted to, I don’t know, push a button and have a do-over. Maybe start from my creation and be born and experience a normal, actual life and have human experiences.”

One of his hands rests in his lap, the other under his chin. You’re both sitting on a padded bench in front of one of the small windows, legs folded as you stare out into the dark. Slowly, you inch your hand closer, resting it on the one in his lap. The gesture startles him a little, but he doesn’t move. Instead, he turns his hand over to cup yours.

“You may not be able to start over in time, but this is still a way of starting over and starting a new life. You can at least do what you want now, for the most part.”

His smile falters a little as he thinks. “Do you think they’re still looking for us though? Will they come looking on Salax?”

“I’m not sure. We’re only stopping to meet with a friend of mine. He has a place we can stay for a night or so just to give us a chance to breathe since we’re off Earth. Plus, we’ll need to refuel when we get there since I couldn’t fill the tank before we had to leave.”

Joshua hums, more words on his mind. “Even if they come to find us, I won’t let them take us back. I want to start over and I won’t give up.”

He squeezes your hand and you return the gesture. “And I won’t either. Truthfully, I didn’t have much going on back on Earth except my job and I mean, you were my job anyway, so I can’t be missing much.”

Joshua doesn’t say anything else, he just nods. He looks like he has more words, maybe ask you something else, but he doesn’t, both of you going back to studying the stars, hands still locked.

“Can I ask you about your family?” Joshua questions you one day. He had heard you mention earlier that you were getting closer to Salax and that you were maybe a day away from arrival.

While soaring through space has been uneventful in terms of much of anything happening, it’s given Joshua a chance to finally, for once in his existence, relax. He hasn’t had to worry about rushing to schedules or singing and dancing. He’s been able to do nothing except sit, talk to you, and not have to worry about much else. It’s a much-needed break for him that he appreciates, even given the circumstances.

You’ve talked about how you didn’t love your job as a manager, but he made the job more enjoyable, and how being a pilot was the only thing you ever pursued, but that was another thing you didn’t love, even after all the work you put into getting a license and training.

So you had settled on this job when your friend, a former manager who worked with the group, decided to quit. You don’t have a roommate or any real friends other than a few acquaintances, but you’ve been skirting around talking about any parents or siblings and he’s curious. He doesn’t have any of that so he just wants to know.

The question makes you bristle and for a second, he wonders if he should take his question back and tell you to forget he asked, but after a moment you answer.

“They died. My mom was a pilot too and she got caught in a meteor shower and died when I was a teenager. Her ship took too many hits and she was close enough to Earth that she crashed on the other side of the planet. Then, my dad got sick a few years ago before I started working at the company and he passed.” Your hands fiddle with some peeling plastic on the control panel, not looking at Joshua.

“Ah, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you upset.”

“No, it’s okay. The question was bound to come up eventually. I’m not close with anyone else in my family - we all just grew apart over the years. It happens.” You shrug your shoulders, the air in the cockpit feeling heavier than it did before. Joshua approaches you, hesitant hands reaching out unsure where to touch to console you.

He feels nervous and second-guesses whether or not he should make contact, not wanting to make you uncomfortable, but the slump of your shoulders tells him that you need comfort. So he reaches for you, wrapping his arms around you to pull you close to his chest. You stiffen, but only for a moment, before going lax in his hold.

Joshua keeps you in his arms, neither of you saying anything or making any move to separate. You stay like that until you start to yawn, tiredness finally hitting. He walks with you back to the room with the two cots you’ve both been sleeping in, tucking you in. Joshua moves to back away and go to the other cot, to rest himself, but you grab his arm, not letting him go.

“You can sleep over here with me tonight. If you want.” Your voice is small and even if he wanted to say no, which of course he doesn’t, he couldn’t anyway. So, Joshua climbs into the cot with you, letting you bury your face into his chest as he holds you.

You lay in silence for a few seconds before he speaks, “I’m your family now. And I’m not going anywhere. Not ever.” To him, it feels like the right thing to say and it’s the truth. Joshua has had his feelings for you growing over time and now that he's gotten this time with just the two of you, you are the most important person to him in the galaxy. He can’t imagine doing any of this without you ever again.

It’s quiet again before you sniffle, clinging closer to him, your fingers twisting in the fabric.

“Thank you, Joshua.”

“Of course.”

You fall asleep then, the gentlest of snores leaving you. He decides he’ll rest here and worry about charging when you wake up. He’s got enough juice not to shut down and he doesn’t want to risk waking you and having this moment stop for him.

Salax is as busy as you remember from the one time you’ve been. When you finally land a few days later, the spaceport is full of people departing from their ships. You see Hoseok almost immediately though, his wide smile and flailing arms unmistakable.

When you reach him, he pulls you into a hug, talking in your ear about how much he’s missed you.

“I missed you too, Hobi,” you laugh, using his old nickname.

He pulls back, lightly squeezing your shoulder before his eyes shift over to Joshua.

“And this is the friend you said you were bringing, right?”

“Yeah. This is Joshua.”

Joshua keeps his head low and bows to Hoseok who pulls him into a hug instead. “Nice to meet you! If Y/n likes you then I do too!” Joshua looks caught off guard but offers a hesitant smile in return.

Hoseok quickly ushers you both to follow him to his small home near the spaceport. Hoseok does ship repair on Salax, so he stays nearby which makes arriving and subsequently leaving easier. You don’t think anyone on Salax would turn Joshua in or tell that he’s here, seeing how so many people visit Salax for anonymity, but you don’t want to take any chances.

His house is small and simple: a kitchen, a living room, a bathroom, and two bedrooms. He points you to the room you and Joshua will share including the bed you’ll both sleep in. The two of you had been resting on the two separate cots on your ship, except for the night he held you until you fell asleep, so this’ll be the first time you’ll be in the same bed since then.

You ignore that fact to focus on Hoseok telling you where everything is, adding that you can stay as long as you need.

“We appreciate it, but we need to be somewhere where we don’t have a chance of being recognized, so we won’t stay too long.” Joshua nods at your words, looking a little more relaxed now that you’re inside, away from anyone who could notice him.

The mechanic turns to look at you both, hands on his hips as he studies you.

“Okay, well now that we’re inside, you wanna tell me why you suddenly sent me a message practically begging me to let you crash here due to an emergency?”

Now that you’re on Salax and in the same room, you feel more comfortable telling Hoseok the truth. He makes you a hot meal as you talk, telling him about the escape and everything that happened between then and now. Hoseok listens the whole time, joining you with a plate of his own as you tell him that now you just need to find somewhere that’s safe and not likely to get caught. Somewhere you two can just live freely.

“Oh! Have you thought about Lumen?” Hoseok asks after you finish talking, his mouth full of noodles.

“Lumen?” The name sounds vaguely familiar, but you can’t place it.

“It’s supposed to be the safest planet in the galaxy. I’ve heard people mention it in my travels, and a friend of mine told me a little more about it, but I’ve never been. You have to travel as far North from our solar system as you possibly can. It’s beside Galaxy 428B.”

“Are there people there? Is it super populated?”

“Yeah, there’s people of some kind there. And I’ve known quite a few people who have set out with Lumen in mind.”

“Do you know anyone who has been there and back?”

Hoseok shakes his head, leaning over his coffee table to pour you more water after you guzzle down your first glass.

“Nope. I just know it’s where people really want to be, especially people that may be looking for a new place to call home.”

You and Joshua’s eyes meet, sharing a look that you already know the definition of. You have to get to Lumen. Currently, there aren’t any other options for places for you two to go to live without constantly looking over your shoulders, waiting for someone from Earth to drag you both to Phylaca for the rest of your lives. The idea of no one having been to Lumen before makes you incredibly nervous, but it sounds like your best chance at any form of freedom.

Even without words, you can tell Joshua is likely thinking the same things, him offering you a simple head nod.

“We’ll go to Lumen, but we need fuel first though. You said it’s in another solar system?”

“Mmhmm. I can fuel you up for sure and take a look at your ship. I know you were never too good at any mechanical stuff.” Hoseok laughs at the frown and roll of your eyes you give him.

“Do you think you could do that today?”

“I have a few clients whose ships I have to look at today, but for you, I’ll get it done sooner rather than later. When are you trying to leave?”

“Uhh, is tomorrow going to work?”

Your old friend chokes on his food, coughing to swallow the noodles.

“Tomorrow?! You’re going to go soaring into the solar system to find a planet that no one has proof of existing, tomorrow?”

“Is that too short notice?” Hoseok blinks at you as if trying to decipher if you’re being serious. When you don’t crack a smile or say anything else, he quickly realizes that you are completely serious.

“Well shit, I guess not. If that’s what you want, I won’t stop you. I’ll make sure you can at least make it out there and maybe even make it back if it doesn’t turn out the way you’re hoping. Just in case.”

Ignoring the idea of not even making it to your destination and possibly embarking on this trip for nothing, you swallow your current mouthful of food, thank Hoseok, and work towards finishing the rest of your plate. Having only eaten bagged or freeze-dried food while flying to Salax, you’re more than thankful for the hot meal.

After dinner, you take your first real, hot shower in forever. Your shower on the ship is cramped and small and the water never gets to the steamy temperature you prefer. While you bathe, your mind focuses only on the fact that you’ll get to sleep in an actual bed tonight. Hoseok lends you some of his clothes while yours that you’ve scrubbed clean dry, the cloth pants and t-shirt ill-fitting but they’re a nice change from the same two pairs of cargo pants and t-shirts you’ve been rotating through.

When you leave the bathroom, Joshua is sitting on Hoseok’s couch, also donned in his clothes, and is flipping through the TV.

“Hey,” you call out, getting his attention.

“Hey. I don’t think I’m used to seeing you in such casual clothes,” he laughs, eying your outfit.

“I could say the same for you. I’m used to seeing you in nothing but designer fits.”

“It’s nice though. I never really got to pick the clothes in my closet, only what I’d put on for the day.”

Joining him on the couch, you sit close, your legs not quite touching. It may sound stupid, but even given what’s happened up until now, you’re not sure where you and Joshua stand as far as your relationship - if you can even call it that. The most contact you’ve had other than holding hands as you ran for your lives, was the hug turned cuddle he gave you before you landed on Salax.

The one thing you do know is how much the care you have for him has blossomed into so much more than the crush you’ve harbored since you first started spending time together back on Earth. Doing nothing but spending uninterrupted time together has solidified for you just how special he is and how important he is to you. Leaving everything you’ve ever known in your life sounds crazy but doing it for Joshua - with Joshua - felt like the best decision you’ve ever made.

At this point you could say you love him, but is it too soon for that? Joshua’s never even been in a relationship so what does this all even mean to him?

Before you can think too hard about it, his arm raises, draping over your shoulder. Trying not to react too obviously, you look at him out of the corner of your eye, seeing the way his jaw is tight, eyes still trained forward to the TV. Instead of saying anything, you lean against him and close the gap between the two of you on the couch as you rest your head on his shoulder. You can revisit this conversation later, but for now, you just want to appreciate this moment of calm before you’re on the move again.

Later that night, after Hoseok finishes working on a few clients’ ships and makes dinner, he begins his inspection of your ship. You join him by the spaceport while Joshua stays behind to rest. You sit on a spare fold-out chair Hoseok carried from his house for you.

“So, an idol automaton huh?” He smirks, quirking an eyebrow as he fills up the gas tank.

“What’s that supposed to mean?!”

“I don’t know, I just didn’t strike you as someone who’d end up with an automaton. And an idol at that. How taboo.” He’s teasing, of course, laughing when you scoff.

“I’ve never cared about someone being an automaton, a human, or an alien. I’m open-minded, thank you very much.”

“Yeah, yeah. But still, you gave up your whole life back on Earth for him.”

“I know that, but it’s not like I had a whole lot going for me anyway. My job was whatever, the people I hung out with weren’t reliable, and it’s not like my family talks to me. It seemed like the only thing that made sense. Still does.”

“You must really like him.”

“I do. A whole lot. People can say what they want but automatons are just as much human as us. So what if they don’t bleed or have organs? They have personalities and feelings and sentience and Joshua is eons better to be around than any human I’ve met.”

Hoseok gives you a look over his clear work glasses.

“Not including you obviously. But I do like him. I didn't think about whether I'd go with him or not when he said he wanted to escape. I didn’t second-guess it or anything. I'll go wherever we need to get away from all that shit. Together.”

“Who knew you could be so sappy!” You flip him off, Hoseok only cackling at the gesture as he puts away his gas canister and moves around the ship to inspect it. “Well, I’m happy for you, Y/n. I know life has been feeding you shit for way too long. Being a fugitive seems like the nicest thing the universe could’ve done for you.”

“I agree. I just needed to run for my life to another planet for some real fulfillment.”

Hoseok rambles on as he does his inspection, telling you that things have been good for him too. He’s been in Salax for a couple of years and isn’t sure if how long he’ll stay, but he makes decent money now and has a solid clientele. He too seems much happier since he left Earth and you can’t blame him. Hoseok has always been a friendly man. The only reason you became friends was because he befriended you in pilot school and attached himself to you. At first, he was a little too excitable for your taste, but over the years he’s only served to become a staple in your life - even when he left Earth for a different life. He’s always been a ray of sunshine in your life, but seeing him shine even brighter now satisfies you.

After a thorough inspection, Hoseok only sees minor dings from the bullets on Earth and a rusted thruster which he says he can fix with no problem. He sends you to bed, ignoring your insistence to help him.

“Just because you can fly the ship doesn’t mean you know how to fix it,” he chides, waving you off. That’s also true. You know the controls on most standard ships and can navigate well, but when it comes to parts and repair, that’s not your strong suit.

“Don’t stay out here too late doing all this, okay? If you need to rest and work on it more tomorrow, we don’t mind.”

“Nah, I’ll have it done in two, three hours tops. Besides, you’re on the run. You can’t afford to stick around too long.”

He shoos you away one more time and you finally listen, making your way back to his house, at least bringing your chair back with you.

Joshua didn’t mean to eavesdrop per se. He just wanted to know where you were and when you were coming to rest. Since it’s dark out, the panic of staying hidden so much isn’t as intense, so he leaves Hoseok’s house to come find you at the spaceport. It’s not hard to see the two of you when not many people are out here at this time. As he approaches, he notices you and Hoseok are talking but doesn’t pick up what you’re talking about until he gets closer and hears his name. He ducks behind a ship parked a little ways away from yours, ears tuning in when he hears you talking about him.

He realizes that you’ve just said out loud that you like him. A lot. Joshua thinks if he had a beating heart it’d be pounding in his chest. Ever since you started to grow closer on the trip here, he’s wanted so badly to tell you that he wants to be more than friends with you. He knows for a fact he’s wanted to kiss you for a long, long time and he’s been holding out hope that maybe that time will come soon, especially now that it’s just the two of you.

He’s decided against it each time it passed his mind on the flight here and it came back when you rested your head on him earlier. You were so warm and so soft and you smelled amazing and he wanted nothing more than to finally kiss you, but he didn’t. You haven’t had a conversation about what you felt for him. He knows it’s always been more than professional, and he thinks that maybe it’s romantic, but the last thing he wants to do is assume.

“I'll go wherever we need to get away from all that shit. Together.”

Hearing you say that - that you’ll do this together, does give him the courage he needs, especially knowing that you do care about him in a non-platonic way.

When the conversation shifts between you and Hoseok, he lingers for a little while longer, then decides to go back to the house to let you and your friend catch up. When Joshua first met Hoseok, he couldn’t help but feel something negative stir in him when he embraced you, but when Hoseok did the same to him and continued to be extremely friendly, Joshua’s guard dropped.

Once he’s back to the house he retreats to the room you and he will share, getting into the bed you’ll both sleep in. The idea of sleeping so close to you again makes Joshua smile, wanting to put his arm around you like he did a few days ago. That gesture had taken courage he didn’t know he had, but since he’s done it and now that he knows you also have romantic feelings for him, there’s a new sense of boldness rushing through his wiring.

Joshua hears the front door open, but he only hears what sounds like a single person walking around. He wonders if it’s you, and when the bedroom door opens the next moment and he sees you poke your head in, he smiles softly at you.

“Hi,” he greets, watching you close the door before coming over to the bed and slipping under the covers, facing away from him.

“Hey,” your voice is a whisper even though he doesn’t hear Hoseok moving about. He drapes one of his arms over your waist and you immediately scoot back into him, his front pressed against your back. Joshua can’t help but lean over and inhale your scent, enjoying the way you smell like what he can only describe as home for him.

His lips are dangerously close to the soft skin of your neck and he wrestles with the idea of placing a kiss there for minutes, weighing the consequences before doing it. Joshua lets his lips graze your neck and he instantly hears the way your breath catches in your throat and notices that you jerk yourself back, body rubbing against him.

“Sorry,” you blurt, your body stiffening, but Joshua doesn’t mind.

“For what?”

“I don’t know, I just reacted. That’s a really sensitive spot for me.” You sound embarrassed, but Joshua isn’t bothered in the slightest.

Instead, he leans over and kisses that same spot again, getting the same reaction and he determines that he needs you to react like that more. His lips attach to your neck again, sucking a mark on the skin with enough force to make your toes curl. Tiny whines leave you as he lavishes your soft skin with his mouth and one of his hands - hands that are much bigger than yours - roams over your body, sliding up until he’s cupping your breast over your shirt. He cups you, fingers finding your nipple through the fabric.

You let out a gasp of his name and Joshua groans at the sound. Hearing you like this, all for him only makes him want you more.

He’s much more confident as he slips his hand under your shirt, kneading at your breast without the clothing barrier. Pleasure shoots up your spine as his fingers tug and tweak at your nipples, alternating between playing with each one. For a moment, you mentally apologize to Hoseok as you feel wetness pool between your legs, surely making the crotch of the pants messier with each twist of his fingers and each swipe of his tongue.

You’re sure he’s left your neck littered with marks with the way he’s teasing you without even realizing it.

“Joshua,” you breathe out, needing so badly to be touched elsewhere. You hadn’t planned on having your first time with him be so soon, but your building desire for him has only gotten more intense and he’s here right now, touching you like this and you need him so badly.

“What is it?”

“Need you to touch me.”

“Where?”

Instead of using your words, you take his hand and direct him beneath the waistband of your pants and between your legs.

“Oh my god, Y/n, you’re so wet,” His words are more of an observation, his tone full of surprise as he swirls his fingers through your arousal. You still clench around nothing at what he says and maneuver his fingers to your clit.

“Rub right there,” you direct him and he does, your body instantly jerking.

“Like this?” The pads of his fingers catch against your clit roughly and he’s using the perfect amount of pressure to have you stifling your moans, and failing miserably.

“Just like that, fuck.” Joshua adjusts to get a better look at you, gasping when he sees your expression. Your eyes flutter open and closed with each sound you make. Your lips are pulled between your teeth, eyebrows knitting together. Your hips move along with his hand, chasing the release that’s so close yet so far away.

Joshua’s fingers get curious, trailing lower to your sticky folds, prodding at your entrance.

“Yes, please,” you beg him, trying to adjust to get his fingers inside of you. He obliges, slipping a thick digit into your pussy, and you let out another soft whimper.

Joshua revels in how slippery you feel around his finger and how tight your body is. He pumps his finger in and out of you and lets out a pleased sound of his own. He’s never felt anything like this before, and everything in him is on high alert, his hunger for you stirring deep within him.

He slips another finger inside of you and you react immediately. One of your hands grasps at his arm, your nails digging in.

“Faster, please.”

He obliges, fingers pistoning out of you quicker than you’re ready for. You see stars dot your vision as the tips of his fingers brush that sensitive, spongy spot in you, your orgasm rushing at you with each move of his wrist. The fact that Joshua is an automaton nearly slips your mind until you take notice of just how fast he’s moving. He was built with endurance in mind which means he doesn’t tire the same as you or any past partners. In the past, at this point, a human’s arm would’ve gotten tired, but not Joshua's. His fingers continue to pummel your pussy, palm now cupping you, the heel of his hand grinding against your clit.

His pace stays steady and soon you’re hurdling over the edge, nearly shrieking out his name. You have to twist your head and bury your face in the pillow to muffle your yelp as you cum, trying to stay mindful that the third person in this house could hear you falling apart around Joshua’s fingers at any moment.

The automaton marvels at you when your body tenses up before going lax, your hips stuttering as you buck against his hand a few more times. Joshua is obsessed with this - with you. Obsessed with the way you feel in his arms and his hands and how you feel around his fingers. He can’t help but wonder just how good you’ll feel around his dick. He’s already hard, his erection grinding into your lower back. That pressure feels good, but he just knows having his dick inside of you will be even better.

“Joshua. Please, I need you - need your cock. Do you want to?”

“Yes, I need to feel you so bad.” You take a moment to think through your lust, wondering which position would be best given the small bed and Joshua’s limited experience. You quickly decide to ride him, taking his fingers out of you so you can strip.

With wide, eager eyes, he watches you undress, eyes studying every inch of bare skin he gets to see. Curiosity overcomes him when his eyes dart to his still drenched fingers and he brings them to his mouth. When you’re naked and turn back to Joshua, you moan at the sight of him sucking your arousal off of his fingers. His eyes slip closed, and he lets out a satisfied hum so deep, your pussy aches at the mere sound.

Frantic hands help him out of his sleep clothes next, your eyes sweeping over him in the dim moonlight that creeps in through the cracks in the blinds. He’s unblemished and perfect. His arms and chest are buff and sculpted and the urge to cover him in marks of your own is strong, but that will have to wait. You need him so bad and you want to finish before Hoseok returns for the night, the fear of being overheard making you move with purpose.

You take in the sheer size and girth of his cock, recalling yet again that he was made to be perfect in every way. For a moment, you worry you won’t be able to take him all the way, but you’re sure as hell going to try.

Joshua moans out loud when you grip his length, giving him a few strokes. He watches you spit on it, using your saliva to slick him up before you swing your leg over his waist. Keeping his dick steady, you hover over him, the tip slowly breaching your entrance as you ease down further.

Each inch of him has your body shaking above him, both of you letting out shared noises of pleasure. When he’s fully sheathed inside of you, a cry from the depths of your stomach slips out. You’ve never felt so full in your life and the stretch of him is almost too much.

You lift yourself on your knees before dropping back down, eyes squeezing shut at how good he feels. It’s hard to find a rhythm, at first, but when you do, it’s desperate and sloppy but exactly what you need. Joshua’s hands rest on your waist as he thrusts upward each time you lower, fucking up into you in perfect unison with your movements.

“Joshua, fuck. You’re s-so big,” you mewl, hands planted on his chest as you bounce.

“You like that?”

“I fucking love it.”

Pride takes over Joshua as his hold on you tightens. He pushes his hips up even faster, watching your eyes widen and your mouth hang open. He wants to memorize you like this. You’re always stunning, and you have been since the moment he met you, but this is a different kind of beauty that he’s never seen and he loves it.

Joshua plants his feet on the bed, using the leverage to thrust up with more force, almost knocking you over the side of the bed, but his hands keep you put.

“S-shit. Joshua, Shua, just like that!” The shortened version of his name just slips out and Joshua decides that he enjoys the sound of it.

He moves at a speed that makes you dizzy, the bed underneath you creaking under the force. Joshua is fucking you so hard, so rough, and you swear each thrust is deeper than the last even with you on top.

“Star, you feel so good. So tight around me,” Joshua grunts. “You’re so perfect.”

“I’m so close, Shua. I’m g-gonna cum!”

“Cum for me, Star. Wanna see you,” His eyes take in your expression of ecstasy and the way your breasts bounce, but they finally land on your lips. They look so red since you’ve been gnawing on them and they look so shiny, practically calling to him to kiss you.

He does just that, one of his hands moving up to the back of your head to pull you down to his face. Joshua’s lips collide with yours, kissing you for the first time. The sensation is foreign to him, yet it feels like this is where he always should’ve ended up, here with you, buried deep inside of your warmth while your lips mold together, moving in a frantic rhythm as you swallow each other’s needy sounds.

Joshua’s tongue breaches the seam of your lips, lapping at every inch of your mouth he can reach. He eagerly wraps his tongue around yours and suckles while driving his hips up again and again. His lap is covered in your wetness and he feels you tremble above him.

“I’m cumming, Shua, I’m cumming!” You whine into his mouth and in the next second your limbs go stiff as you topple over the edge, vision blurring as you cum. The breath gets knocked out of you as you turn to jelly in Joshua’s arms. He has to keep you upright, but then he cums right after you, hips almost bruising yours while he shoves himself into you to the hilt, painting your gummy walls with his release.

A pathetic whimper falls from your lips as he empties into you, pumping you even fuller. He only falters a little as he fucks his cum back up into you.

“J-Joshua. Please, I’m so sensitive,” your voice sounds scratchy to your ears and it matches how tired the rest of you is.

“Sorry,” he mumbles as he pulls out of you carefully and oh so gently.

You flop next to him, lying in a heap against him as he wraps the blankets around you both.

“Wow,” he speaks after a while, almost feeling like he’s floating.

“Yeah. I can’t believe that was your first time.”

“It was the most amazing thing I’ve ever done.” You can’t help but chuckle at him, fingers absentmindedly stroking up and down his arm draped over your waist.

“Just remember that I don’t have the stamina you do. I need a little time between to get my strength back.”

“I can wait. Do you need anything? I can go get you some water or I can get another blanket.”

“No, no. The only thing I need from you is to hold me.”

“I can do that.” He leans over you again to plant a kiss on your cheek, the gesture incredibly sweet.

“Good night, Joshua.”

“Good night, Star.”

The sun wakes you up the next morning, your body feeling sore and warm. When you realize that you’re still in Joshua’s arms naked, you remember last night. You smile to yourself, turning to look at him, seeing his eyes are already open.

“Good morning,” he greets, kissing you as soon as he catches sight of your lips. He swallows up your attempt to respond, a large hand cupping your face.

When he finally lets you go after you remind him again that you do need to breathe, he stays close to your face.

“I think I’ve found my new favorite thing,” he muses.

“And what’s that?”

“Kissing you. I think it might even be better than having sex with you.”

You snort at his answer, trying to hide the way your face burns at his words. “Well, you can do plenty of both of those things once we’re in flight again, but we should probably get a move on the day.”

He pouts momentarily, but finally agrees, letting you get up with one more kiss.

Hoseok is up when you’re dressed and leave the room, already in the kitchen when you come in.

“Morning sleepy head! You guys gonna head out soon?”

“Yeah, but I wanted to shower again since I won’t get the luxury of a full-sized shower on the ship.”

“Go for it. Your clothes are dry also, they’re on the couch. And you have to make sure you eat and take some food! Your boyfriend can’t eat but you have to!”

Both you and Joshua look at each other when he says that, but neither of you says anything about the new title for him, which Hoseok notices, laughing at the looks on your faces.

Two hours later when you’re fed, showered, and packed, Hoseok walks you to your ship, both you and Joshua are well-rested and ready for your journey. He demands that you try and radio him when you get there (“and you will get there,” he makes sure to add).

“I can’t thank you enough for this, Hoseok. You’re really saving us here.”

“Of course. It’s the least I can do for my friend.” He flashes you his heart-shaped smile once more and gives you a bear hug, arms squeezing you tight. “Be safe okay? I’ll be here for a while if you need me."

“I appreciate you more than I can say. And I say this with love, but I hope I don’t need to come back.”

“Fair. I also say this with love, but me too.”

Hoseok embraces Joshua next, telling him to take good care of you.

“I will. I always will.”

Another round of goodbyes later and you’re both back on your ship. You punch in the vague coordinates Hoseok could give you. Since no one knows where Lumen is exactly, all you can do is type in coordinates that are North, next to Galaxy 428B, and hope for the best.

Right before you lift off the ground, you wave at Hoseok through the window then steer the ship until you start your ascent. Once you breach the last layer of the atmosphere, you’re off again and you turn on the autopilot, letting your ship take over and do the most tedious part which is coasting until you reach your destination, whenever that’ll be.

“Are we on our way?” Joshua finally asks from his seat to your right as the dark expanse of outer space stretches in front of you.

“Yep. We’ve probably got months of just this.”

“And the ship is flying itself?”

“Well yeah, that’s how autopilot works, remember? We did it for Salax.”

“Just checking,” Joshua gives you a look that you can’t decipher before getting up and making it to you in a few strides, crashing his lips against yours. He kisses you breathlessly yet again, pulling away and letting you pant against his lips.

“What’s gotten into you?”

“You said we could when we were back on the ship,” he pouts, his round, brown eyes sparkling back at you.

“I know and we can, but right now?”

“Only if you want to, of course.”

“I do.”

“Good!” Joshua scoops you up into his arms as if you weigh nothing and carries you to the sleeping quarters of the ship.

“Oh my god, I’ve created a sex monster!” You giggle as he places you on one of the cots and starts pulling his clothes off.

“Not my fault being inside you is the best experience I’ve ever felt. And now we have so much time to spend doing it.”

You can’t really argue with him on that. There isn’t much to do when you’re coasting through space for an undetermined amount of time. So, you let Joshua get his fill of your body until you need to rest, eat, use the bathroom, and check the course of the ship.

Once all of your obligations are done, he fucks you again and again, almost making up for all of the time you couldn’t spend together. Joshua is an extremely fast learner and becomes an expert on all of the things you like and the ways you like to be touched in no time. And even though you’re exhausted you can’t find it in you to complain.

The time to Lumen feels almost unbearable. It’s a much longer journey than any you’ve ever taken. It gives you even more time to spend with Joshua which makes it all the more bearable. Lying and talking with him occupies all of your time (when he’s not bending you over any surface on the ship he can to try all of the things he’s only ever heard about). You love how easy it is to be with him and how easily he’s picked on habits of being a boyfriend and taking care of you. Even if you weren’t stuck in a flying metal tin with him you still don’t think you’d get sick of spending time with him like this.

That being said, you can’t help the paranoia that still creeps into your mind. What if this trip is all for nothing? What if you are flying towards a dead end and there is no Lumen, only a galaxy that goes on forever and ever? Sure, you can go back to Salax - you know that Hoseok will help you both and likely hide you until you deem it safe to be out and about on the planet, but you’ve never been very fond of Salax and don’t know if you necessarily want to call it your home long term.

“You look like you’re deep in thought,” Joshua interrupts your overactive brain, your doubts sitting heavy in the pit of your stomach.

You turn away from the window that you’ve been transfixed staring out of for who knows how long. You pull the blanket you’re draped in tighter around your body giving Joshua a small quirk of your lips.

“Yeah, I was just thinking…”

“Clearly,” Joshua sidles up behind you, wrapping his arms around you, and pulling you close. “About what?” Your body automatically leans into him, enjoying the warmth emanating from his bare chest.

“I’m just worried. What if we don’t find Lumen? Hoseok said that he doesn’t even know anyone who’s successfully made it and reported back. That’s terrifying. What if all of those people didn’t make it? What if they just ended up floating in space forever? Or what if Lumen is extremely hostile or unsafe? What if any of those travelers died? What if -”

“Hey, hey. Look at me,” Joshua stops your spiraling, turning you in his arms to face him. “We don’t know any of those things, okay? All we can do is keep going and see where we end up. Worrying about it won’t help now will it?”

“No…”

“Exactly. So let’s just see what happens. How long do we have before we reach the galaxy it’s supposedly next to?”

“I’ll check,” he lets you unravel yourself from his hold so you can approach the cockpit to read the navigation. “We’re actually not that far from Galaxy 428B. Maybe another few weeks or so if we’re lucky. It’s already been a few months since we left Salax so it hopefully won’t be too much longer. If it’s even there that is.”

“Sit down, Star.” The usage of your nickname from Joshua’s lips only serves to make you melt, doing as he says and sinking into the seat in front of the control panel. Joshua approaches you, spinning the chair to face him and bending at the waist to kiss you.

His lips move over yours lazily, tongue soon following to poke your lips, asking for entrance. You let him in, his tongue immediately moving into your mouth. Joshua kisses you hard, hands cradling your face as your arms loop around his neck.

Slowly, he sinks to his knees in front of you, spreading your legs open to get a look at your bare core. He makes a sound of appreciation deep in the back of his throat before surging forward, burying his face between your thighs. His tongue licks you from your entrance up to your clit a few times. Already having you sinking down in the seat to get closer to his face.

Joshua’s tongue plunges into your hole as he eats you out sloppily but with purpose. He laps at you, making out with your cunt. Your hands fly to his hair, fingers tugging at the strands as you yell out for him, legs shaking as they wrap around his head to keep him where he is.

You already know Joshua is coaxing an orgasm out of you to distract you and keep you from worrying and it’s definitely working.

Joshua has done his best to be the calm one out of the two of you. When you start to stress and worry about where your journey will take you, he uses words of reassurance to keep you level-headed and uses sex to distract you which seems to work for both of you. When you’re not doing that though or when you’re asleep is when he also starts to have his own thoughts of dread.

Of course, he has the same worries as you; worries that your trip will only end in your demise or that you’ll get lost in space. It’s been months since you started your journey into the unknown and neither of you have any idea if you’re anywhere closer to your end goal. Joshua knows he can’t truly die, not in the same way a human, you, would. At worst, he’ll run out of charge if the ship is somehow damaged to the point that the electricity goes out. Then he’s in trouble. But you, there are so many terrible things that could happen to you.

You could starve or freeze to death. If you’re attacked by pirates you could be injured or even killed. The list of terrible things that could fall upon you is endless and it’s the main thing that sometimes keeps him from relaxing and letting himself close his eyes. It’s why he’s up now, leaving you curled up in the sleeping area while he paces the main part of the ship, willing his active imagination to shut up.

He nearly starts to spiral even more, when in the distance he spots something that isn’t just another moon or an asteroid. It looks an awful lot like a planet. A planet that looks a little like Earth from this distance.

Joshua frantically surveys the navigation before giving up, knowing he can’t read what it means.

“Star! Y/n!” He runs to the sleeping area, calling you until you groggily sit up, calling him in response.

“Joshua?”

“There’s a planet! It’s not super close but it looks a little like Earth!”

You’re up as soon as he finishes his sentence and sprinting to the cockpit to check the navigation.

“We definitely passed Galaxy 428B and the coordinates look right. Holy shit, what if that’s Lumen?!” He joins you as you continue flying towards the planet. It’s still going to take a few minutes, but you both stand there the whole time, hands tangled together as you wait for any signals that you’re close enough to possibly speak to someone on the intercom system.

The minutes feel like hours as they crawl by, the planet getting clearer and clearer as you approach. It really does look like Earth.

You grip Joshua’s hands even harder, his fingers caressing your knuckles to try and keep your nerves calm. When you’re close enough to start to see more details, you take the ship out of autopilot to steer it. Joshua rests his hand on your shoulders, watching as you press a few buttons on what you’d mentioned was the intercom system.

“Hello? We are requesting permission to land.” You speak, your words steady even though Joshua can feel how you tremble in his hold.

After a minute or so a voice comes back, asking you for your registration and the reason for your visit.

“Our registration is DA471561J. We’re travelers looking to land permanently.”

There’s a beat of silence as your hands grip the steering device, both of you waiting for a response.

“Permission to land is granted. There is a dock just East of your current location. Welcome to Lumen.”

A sob slips out of your mouth when you hear the greeting, thanking the voice. Joshua wraps his arms around you, holding you close as you change your direction, presumably to the East.

“We made it, Star. We made it to Lumen.”

“We did,” you sniffle loudly and Joshua holds you closer.

“I love you, Star,” he whispers. It’s not something he’s ever thought he could feel, let alone say to someone.

And then you came into his life and made it clear that he is capable of love and most importantly, he’s in love with you.

“Joshua…I love you too,” you breathe, tears still pricking your eyes. You love him so much - the words had been hanging on your tongue for a while, but your nerves never let you say them until now. Now that you know that Joshua loves you too.

The worry that had been sitting heavy on both of your shoulders slips away at the fact that you’ve made it safely to your new home after flying for so long and that you’re both doing it with the person that you love.

You stay close to Joshua when the two of you finally land and are greeted by some of the citizens of Lumen. You don't think you’ve ever seen this many different inhabitants on one planet, not that you mind.

A few of them introduce themselves and when they ask your names, you tell them Joshua and Star. Hearing them call you both by your new, preferred names really makes this feel real. You both thank everyone nearly a hundred times, mentioning that you’re from Earth and you are hoping this is your new home.

“Oh! You’re from Earth too!” A little girl exclaims as she clings to the adult she’s with who you assume is her mom. “There’s another person here with a robot from Earth!” Her mother shushes her, but you insist it’s okay.

“Do you know where they are?” Joshua asks the mother, who nods.

“Yes, they’re living in a house that’s just outside of a town not far from here. It’s near where we live. I’ll show you.”

“Please.” Joshua looks at you, eyes full of hope and you nod back enthusiastically. You don’t want to get too excited and assume that it’s one of his former members, but there’s a chance. A small chance, but a chance nonetheless.

You and Joshua arrive at the house the mother and her child directed you to, seeing the sheer size of it. You both scan the area as you approach, noting the little garden and the lush forest behind it.

As you approach, Joshua scans the surrounding area, not seeing anyone else around. He’s about to voice his curiosity about the place when he feels your steps falter next to him. When he looks over at you, he sees your wide eyes staring straight ahead at the house. He follows your gaze, spying someone coming out of the front door, face turned up, casually glancing at the sky. At first, he doesn’t think anything of it until the man turns, glancing over as if looking right at him.

“Oh my god…Joshua, it’s -”

“Seungcheol,” he’s already noticed him, looking shell-shocked at seeing his leader - his family - again after so long.

The two of you break into a run to get to your new home and sense of familiarity. You and Joshua want this to be a new start for both of your lives and it looks like you won’t have to do it alone.

Net tag: @kflixnet

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beggars-opera · 5 months

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Hey, can we move our advice about kids on the internet into the 21st century please?

I 100% agree that we should all be as private as humanly possible online, but I also know that I do not follow my own advice, nor does anyone else, including you, probably. Yes, many of us were raised in a time in which the internet could be completely anonymous, but that was in the era before social media. Facebook, Instagram, etc. started as tools to interact with people already in your social circle, which is why personal information is used on them, but they've evolved since then for better or worse, and we need to acknowledge that. Simply telling teenagers that they have to operate under an avatar at all times like we're on a 2002 message board and that they are brainwashed idiots if they don't isn't helping anyone.

If I was giving someone real life advice, it would be this:

If you are a minor, know that there are predators out there who are more than willing to interact with you, so honestly, sincerely, do consider being as anonymous as possible. That means not using your full, or even your real name (this is the perfect time to use the name you always wished you had, mine was Morgan after Morgan le Fay), and putting things on private as much as possible so only people you know, or those you can vet, can interact with you.

If you do choose to show your face, know that this comes with risk and buffering that with other things (like using a pseudonym or never tagging your exact location). This can go a long way to protecting yourself. If you're just posting aesthetic images, sure, make your IG public, but if you're documenting your every move maybe stick with friends only for now.

Even if you are not a minor, creeps will still find you. Again, assumption of risk. Either way, though, the block feature is your friend.

If you're being open online because you're really dead set on being an influencer, know that is going to come with a whole world of pain all its own assuming it actually pans out, so it's probably not worth it. Also you probably won't make it as an influencer, hon, I'm so sorry but statistically it's true.

If you're posting certain things traceable to you this could also bite you later at work, or for prospective employers.

When interacting with strangers online, always assume that people are hiding SOMETHING. That isn't always a malicious thing - they could also be protecting themselves! But don't take everything they say at face value. Online personas are always acting of a sort.

If you find yourself becoming friendly enough with someone that you want to meet them in person, take stock of how much you know about them. Do they post photos of themselves frequently enough that you can tell they are who they say they are? Are they willing to video chat with you before meeting irl? Are they willing to meet with you in a neutral, public location or with a group of friends, or do they act sketchy about that?

To the above point, meet people for the first time in a neutral, public location, preferably with a group of friends, just in case. Look, I've broken this rule myself and even though nothing happened, I still kick myself for it.

Trust your gut. You are the creator and the curator of your own online existence, so do what makes you feel safe.

#social media #online safety #lots of discussion about this lately

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desert-fern · 1 year

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A Gun Amongst Daggers - Jake “Hangman” Seresin X Fem!Navy Seal Reader

Part 4: Guess Who?

Summary: When Jake meets a woman at the Hard Deck, the last thing he expects is for her to be a Navy Seal. And not just any Seal, the Commander of Seal Team 3. She’s beautiful, smart, dangerous, and everything about her just makes him want to get close. Her name? Bear. When the Seals need backup, Cyclone puts the Daggers on their radar and now, Jake has to work with Bear and her team, all the while trying to stay professional. Can he do it? Or will he end up falling for the Navy sniper and mission Commander?

*GIF is not mine. I found it on Pinterest*

MINORS DO NOT ENGAGE! 18+ ONLY. MINORS & BLOGS WITH NO AGE/EMPTY BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED.

Warnings: swearing, mentions of death, terrorism, bombings, cyber attacks

Word Count: 2.5k

Read in Wattpad or AO3

Masterlist >> Part 3 >> Part 5

===

Early in the morning, alarms in multiple homes, dorms, and other living arrangements went off. Most were those belonging to Navy Seals. The rest being those of the Dagger Squadron, who were awake bright and early for a debriefing that would provide details as to their next mission.

Jake shut the alarm off and got up. He was excited for this debriefing, mission assists like this were always something that he had enjoyed. Especially one this secret. The Daggers knew nothing of what they were deploying into, something that only happened if and when whatever was to take place was a mission of the utmost secrecy. He showered, dressed in his flight suit, before traipsing downstairs for something to eat. Minutes later, he left. Jake met up with Bob and Payback when he got to base, the three of them chatting among themselves as they made their way to the meeting room.

Bear, on the other hand, hit snooze and rolled over. She hated mornings. Always had. But ten minutes later, the alarm went off again and despite her desire to sleep in, she knew that this was a meeting that she absolutely could not miss. She had been up late pulling files and compiling information for the debriefing today and only late last night had she been informed that Seal Team 3 and the Dagger pilots would be working together. The thought of that alone made her want to bury herself under the covers. But she persevered and flung the covers off, showered, got dressed, ate, and departed for the base. She knew that she would be a little later than anticipated, but the meeting couldn’t start without her.

Meanwhile, the pilots had crammed themselves into the meeting room where Maverick had directed them. What they weren’t expecting was a group of eight to walk through the door and take seats on the opposite side of the room from them. “Ummm…we actually have this room,” Fanboy spoke up, glancing curiously around the small space. “We have a debriefing.”

“What a coincidence. We also have this room,” a small Indian woman in the corner replied sharply, eyes narrowed in challenge. The others around her bristled, ready if one of the pilots stepped up to them.

Maverick took this moment to walk in, folders in hand. “Morning.” He had heard the posturing through the open door and figured that if he didn’t want to end up filling out numerous incident reports, he’d better get in the room quickly.

No response. The tension was palpable, pilots and Seals glaring at one another, neither willing to back down.

“I’m fairly certain that when someone of a higher rank says good morning, you give them a reply, Bug,” a familiar voice rang out as Bear walked in. She met the stunned looks of the pilots with a wink, grinning a little at how most of the people in the room backed down as she entered. Hangman’s reaction in particular made her laugh. He sat back down, giving her a tight smile. Shaking her head in amusement, Bear closed the door behind her.

“Sorry Commander,” the woman who had spoken earlier replied. “Good morning, Captain Mitchell.”

Maverick just nodded, smiling to himself. “Good morning. Thank you to you and your team for taking the time to meet with us, Commander.”

“I should be thanking you. After all, you had no obligation to accept this mission,” Bear replied, dropping her folders on the table near her people. “And please, call me Bear. Everyone does.”

“So long as you call me Maverick,” he told her.

Bear nodded at him. “Deal. Now, everyone. We should probably do introductions first, since we will be working together for the next while. My people here are four of my Lieutenants, plus our medic and detonation expert. So if you would introduce yourselves, and provide your official titles so that our assisting air crew can get to know you,” she said, gesturing to her people to start.

“I’m Bug, the Lieutenant of platoon one,” the first woman spoke up. Her black hair was neatly bunned back, dark eyes sharp as she took in the pilots in front of her.

Bear gave her a fond smile. “Bug is also my second in command. She does a lot of the logistics with both hers and the other teams.”

To her right sat a large man. “Name’s Marshmallow. I’m the detonation expert,” he announced.

“Sorry to interrupt, but why Marshmallow?” Phoenix spoke up.

The man let out a chuckle. “Because one exploded and scarred my arms badly when I was younger.”

A few chuckles rose up from the Daggers, who found it funny that the biggest man in the room was called Marshmallow.

“I’m Fireball.”

“And I’m Flare. We’re in charge of the recon and stealth teams.”

Payback leaned over to Bob and whispered “That’s ironic as hell.”

Bob nodded. “You’d hope that one of them would be ‘Ghost’ or ‘Shadow’ or something like that.”

“Yup.”

The second last woman sat quietly. She was tough; built like a rugby player with broad, strong shoulders, and piercing eyes. “Shrike.”

Her simple, firm introduction had a few of the pilots glancing at each other with worried glances, making Bear grin. Shrike was the longest serving member of the team. She had had numerous opportunities to advance but denied them all, preferring to stay in the field until she absolutely couldn’t anymore. “Shrike is our interrogation specialist. Interpret that how you will,” Bear informed the room.

At the very end, sat a young individual. “I’m the team medic. Nicknamed FAK. It’s short for first aid kit, in case y’all were curious,” they spoke. Perched on their nose was a pair of black glasses, a small smile on their face as they gave a shy wave. Shrike gave a small, almost imperceptible smile towards FAK, who grinned back.

“Good to meet you all,” Maverick replied. “This is my team-”

Bear cut him off gently, “My team has been briefed separately on your team and their identities. Just to save time.”

“I see. Well, in that case. Let’s get started.”

===

Two hours later, Bear was running through the logistics of what they knew and what was planned. “So, as it says in the documents in front of you, the Lincoln docks at the port of Jebel Ali in Saudi Arabia. The Daggers are flying into Riyadh Air Base with your planes. My people are leaving via helicopter and will depart before you guys,” she said, gesturing to the pilots, who were watching her closely.

Maverick spoke up. “We are landing in Air Force territory. So cooperation is extremely important because we are required for this mission to succeed,” he told his team. “We are in and out. No extra work. Keep it clean.”

“Exactly right, Maverick. Thank you.” Bear nodded to him. “My people know my standards. Don’t antagonize anyone, but don’t be a pushover. If something happens, find Maverick or myself and we’ll do our best to handle it.”

“Don’t let Shrike near whoever starts shit,” Flare whispered to Marshmallow, who snorted. He pinched the bridge of his nose, trying and failing to hide his grin.

Rooster raised his hand. “Sorry to interrupt, but what happens if they mess with us? Can I punch them if they punch me?”

“Hopefully the base commander can keep his people in line enough to make it civil. If shit does go sideways, either because of us or them, the parties involved will be held responsible,” Bear replied. “That’s a good question, Lieutenant Bradshaw. Thank you.”

“This will be hypocritical coming from me, but listen to rules and do what you can to either stay out of the way or be helpful,” Maverick spoke. “But since this is Bear’s and the Seals’ mission, we follow their lead.”

“This true, Commander?” Bug asked from her spot near the front.

Bear nodded. “Yes. I’m technically running point on this mission, but I will be working closely with Maverick to make sure that everything is as smooth as possible before we send you out. And I hope that you guys get to know each other during this,” she added on, flipping through the pages in front of her. She knew that her people had smug looks on their faces at the prospect of having the pilots fall in line behind them, but knew that that was unlikely to happen given the level of collaboration required on a mission such as this.

“Coming back to the mission itself, the full details of the Seals’ mission cannot be shared. But the short of it is that Ibrahim al-Hammeed, Mikael Khrushov, and Helena Osmund are targets of the U.S. Government and we have been sent to handle the threat that they pose,” Maverick continued on, gesturing to the papers in front of him.

“As you now know, all three have been taking up the top three spots on NCIS’s most wanted list and other government organizations, including the NSA, CIA, and British MI6 have chipped in and provided intel for pinpointing their locations,” the Commander added. “al-Hameed is a Pakistani Salafist preacher and a key recruiter in the IJU, Islamic Jihad Union. Now I need to say this because some people don’t know that Islam isn’t a violent religion. The reason for this mission is because of the harm he has done in the name of religion and religious zeal. Am I clear?”

“Yes Ma’am,” the room said in unison.

“Good. Continuing on, Mikael Khrushov. An Estonian arms dealer and is practically a one-stop shop for terrorist organizations. He is suspected of supplying weapons and some training to would-be terror cells in and throughout Central and Eastern Europe. Helena Osmund, on the other hand, is American. She’s a former NSA chief analyst, responsible for numerous data breaches both at home and abroad among our allies. She has sold the stolen data and information to numerous individuals on our watchlists,” Bear paused, taking a breath. “The running theory is that Osmund is planning on selling some of the stolen data to al-Hameed and we suspect that the three of them are teaming up for the theft of U.S. Hellfire missiles among other equipment. And we definitely do not want these to end up in the hands of people this dangerous.”

Maverick took the pause to chime in. “We are responsible for the bombing run of Khrushov’s weapons cache. But if needed, we will also provide air support to the Seals outside al-Hameed’s compound. Does that make sense?”

“How many of us are flying this?” Coyote asked, jotting a few notes down. “It doesn’t seem like a full team is needed for this.”

Glancing at Bear, Maverick replied “As many as Bear and myself feel we need to send. You will know before the mission date, but until then, all of you are needed.”

The woman next to him nodded. “That’s exactly right. Maverick here will train you all for the likelihood of us needing air support. But it’s very possible that only a four to six plane team will be needed, combined with 4 Seal platoons. We likely will only require 2 at most, but given the level of the threat, we need to be prepared.”

Coyote nodded. He was poked in the ribs a few seconds later and saw Hangman make a gesture to his notebook. Rolling his eyes at his best friend, Coyote angled the paper towards him before glancing back at the woman in front of him.

Bear continued, a small grin on her face, “al-Hameed and the others have taken up residence in al-Hameed’s private compound just over 65 clicks outside the city of Ash Shamli, roughly 300 kilometers from Riyadh. However, Khrushov owns a major warehouse block, storage facility, and personnel base 10 clicks from al-Hameed’s compound. We suspect that Osmund also stores her servers in Khrushov’s building as well.

“Both compounds will be attacked simultaneously, and as Maverick mentioned, the Daggers will hit Khrushov’s compound while the Seals take down al-Hameed’s,” Bear announced, making eye contact with each and every person in the room. “Osmund herself is likely to be hiding out in al-Hameed’s compound. She is considered a slippery target so she will be one of our top priorities. Are there any questions?”

Marshmallow raised his hand. “Yes Ma’am. Do we have the layout to the private compound yet? If I’m placing charges…”

“Flare? Did we have that document?”

Fumbling through her papers, Flare nodded. “Yes Ma’am. Unfortunately, the drone used was damaged, so we have maybe half the data that we need. I will speak with my contacts on the ground about sending another one up. But we do have the satellite imaging of the compounds and the landscape around them.”

“Okay, see that that is done asap. Anyone else?”

“Umm yes. Do we know where our targeting is for this?” Phoenix asked. “I’d like to have the runs practiced as many times as possible, and I’m sure that everyone around agrees with that.”

“I’ll take this one,” Maverick told Bear. “I have the information for the bombing run, which I will give you when we start our training. For now, we will stick to what’s relevant for both teams.”

Shooting Hangman a side glance, Coyote raised his hand. Mischief shone in his eyes and Bear immediately pinned him in place with a stare, having an idea what the pilot was about to ask. “I would consider asking that question to a superior officer in a room full of Navy Seals, Lieutenant Machado,” she told him.

Nodding once, Coyote lowered his hand, lips pursed. He looked away from Maverick and made eye contact with Fireball who looked ready to jump out of his seat.

“At ease, Wilson. No harm was done. Now, before we send you all on your merry ways to complete the paperwork necessary to ship out on this mission, are there any more questions related to the mission?”

A chorus of no’s rang out. All in the room except for one of her Lieutenants had agreed. “Hazard? You had something else?”

“I did, Ma’am,” the tall dark haired man said. “I was wondering what role you’d be playing in this mission. Are you up or down this time?”

“Up or down?” Maverick asked. He looked confused, likely because he had no idea of her claim to fame as a sniper.

Bear hummed. “Yes. I’m typically a sniper. So he’s asking if I am fulfilling that place or if I’m leading the entry,” she clarified for the pilots in the room. “I will be both up and down. Bug and a few of you will lead the entrance, while I take care of any stragglers, but this will be explained in detail the closer we get to the mission date. Does that help?”

“Yes Ma’am.”

“Glad to hear it. Are we good to go?”

“I think so.” Maverick began collecting his papers, leading his pilots to do the same. Their burst of movement led the Seals to start packing up, looking to Bear for the all clear to leave. Her quick nod had FAK and Fireball rushing from the room with those still inside following them out, chatting among themselves.

Bear smiled to herself. She was ready for this. Her team was too. All she had to do was hope that the pilots could keep up with her expectations, but from their attention and questions asked, she found herself reassured that the right team had been picked. She sighed, tucking the loose papers back into their proper places before piling them up in front of her.

“So,” Maverick’s voice startled her from her reverie. “I think that went well.”

“I do too. Now let’s hope our people can get along for long enough not to kill each other,” Bear joked, shooting the man in front of her a teasing grin.

The pilot matched her grin. “Glad to be working with you, Bear,” he said, holding a hand out to shake.

Bear shook his hand. “As am I, Maverick. This will be fun.”

===

A/N: Once again, special thanks to @startrekfangirl2233 @sarahsmi13s and @dakotakazansky for saving my ass and proof reading! Bear wouldn’t be an icon without you all!

Taglist: @startrekfangirl2233 @sarahsmi13s @dakotakazansky @horseshoegirl @roosters-girl @lovinglyeternal @lavenderbradshaw @roosterforme @bobby-r2d2-floyd @bradleybeachbabe @twsssmlmaa @footprintsinthesxnd @fandomxpreferences @dempy @gizmodear @fighterpilothoe @chaoticassidy @eli2447 @iwantmyredvelvetcupcake @djs8891 @rhirhikingston @sisterslytherinog @impossiblebagelcowboyfreak @heli991113 @thegoddessc @sgt-barnesveins @taytaylala12 @urmom-999 @formulapierre @pinkpantheris

#a gun amonst daggers #jake hangman seresin x reader #jake seresin imagine #jake seresin x reader #jake seresin x you #jake hangman seresin x you #top gun maverick x reader #top gun maverick x you #hangman fanfiction #hangman x reader #top gun imagine #top gun maverick imagine #top gun fanfiction #top gun x reader #controlled chaos squad #callsign bruiser #bear and hangman #fern finally writes something!

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pandoraslxna · 3 months

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Hi everyone.

As you all know, I’m usually not the kind of person to address these things publicly, but there is a situation going on that leaves me with no choice but to speak up about it. I‘m deeply sorry for disrupting the peace that I tried to maintain on my blog by bringing unnecessary and childish drama on here and I hope that I will only have to speak up about it once. Writing this down already makes me feel so stupid, but I just can’t keep ignoring this, hoping it will eventually get better, when I know it won’t unless I share my side of the story.

Last week it was bought to my attention that @teyamshuman had updated her blog to make it look extremely similar to mine. And I’m not just talking about a few similarities by taking inspiration, I’m talking about a direct copy of my layout, navigation, masterlist, guidelines and even my about me post.

I’ve put them side by side as demonstration:

While I tried to think of it as a compliment, it still bothered me to see someone else basically copying me and all the hard work I’ve put into creating my blog and my layout, which is why I decided to reach out to her. I tried to approach this as respectfully as possible, even asked my friends for advice because I didn’t want to come across as rude or entitled and explained my feelings about this to her.

Here are our conversations:

While she agreed to change it up, it took her almost a day and barely any changes were made. I had to explain to her again and in detail what exactly was bothering me, but I continued to be respectful and kind. A day later there were still some major similarities on her blog, and I was honestly running out of patience. I still didn’t want to make a big deal out of this so I simply decided to block her for my own peace of mind and also because I didn’t feel like checking her blog every other day to check if she had changed anything or maybe even copied me again —which is a valid fear and I’m fully standing behind my own feelings and won’t apologize for them.

Only then did @teyamshuman change her blog theme enough that there was barely any resemblance to mine. She then decided to reach out to my friends and sent some of her moots to try and talk to me / ask if I can unblock her / telling me she wants to talk and apologize, etc. I choose to ignore this because my decision was already made and I was honestly annoyed by the fact that she only made those changes on her blog after I decided to block her.

Now to the main reason why I am even making this post.

After this, the following days my inbox kept filling itself with weird, rude and straight up hateful asks that were seemingly coming out of nowhere. I got suspicious but thought nothing of it, since I don’t take bullying to heart, especially not by someone hiding behind the anon button. It was then bought to my attention that @teyamshuman, who had by then blocked me as well so I couldn’t see her posts myself, published several asks of stories about me being rude and straight up toxic to others. Some of these asks even included the names of my close friends that had absolutely nothing to do with this whole situation. In her responses to these asks it seemed like she was agreeing to everything that was shared about me, some of these asks also contained misinformations and descriptions of situations that were completely out of context. This all reached a point where suddenly people were bragging to her about reporting my blog and simply stating that they now hate me after whatever she had told them about me.

The asks she responded to:

Unfortunately that is not all.

Apparently, @teyamshuman has at some point decided to stop sharing these asks, yet that didn’t change what was already done. I tried to be the bigger person in this and just continue to ignore her, especially since she told these people to leave me be, but my inbox still fills itself with hateful asks, even death threats and people straight up asking me if I’m the blog everyone is talking about / if I am "that toxic writer."

These are just some of the asks I’ve received, because I’ve immediately deleted most of them when they first started coming in. Sadly there are more and more coming every day.

While everyone is free to have their own opinion and I, by all means, can’t and won’t force anyone to like me, seeing these things about myself really hurt. I‘m trying so hard to be nice and respectful on here, even if I don’t get the same treatment in return, and I simply choose to ignore so many things that are being said to me and the way I’m treated by some people, yet the one time I decided to speak up for myself and address something that made me uncomfortable, this is the outcome.

What genuinely confuses me up to this point is that this whole situation has taken a turn where I feel like I did something wrong, when all I did was try to protect my peace and express my feelings after someone made me uncomfortable. It was never my intention to come across as rude or passive aggressive while doing so.

Now with that being said, I hope everyone is now able to see this from my point of view and make their own opinion about it. I also hope that the people behind these asks will reflect themselves and realize that what they’re doing is not okay.

Lastly I want to remind you all that this will continue to stay a safe place for everyone and I’m not trying to cause drama over something so silly, something that could’ve been handled so much better, so please don’t send any hate, threats or rude messages to anyone involved in this. This post isn’t meant as an attack against anyone, it’s meant to protect myself and bring peace.

Thank you.

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stargloom · 2 months

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hey. i dont like doing this. and i dont want to be a tumblr bitch who's wrote a callout before. but i cannot in good faith continue posting in the same community as this guy and allow him to pretend to not be genuinely a sicko. but @/bloomingduskk (who im sure will change urls after i post this is. a prosh.ipper radq.eer trans.d alongside a plethora of unfavorable unethical things. most of which being too personal to share, but enough left for me to be uncomfortable with my own silence. tw for like fucking everything lol

I never wanted to be in this position, or ever have to be the author of something like this. I am not a confrontational person or someone who enjoys drama, i’m entirely someone who goes out of his way not to get involved in such things, but due to my past public friendships with this person, and his tendencies of covering his tracks and lying about me and my friends, i feel as if it would be cowardly of me not to at least issue a warning about this user, and hope my message is conveyed well. If this was solely a personal gripe, I would not come out with a doc publically, I have no intentions of being petty, and am purposely leaving out a lot of petty issues and things that have been done to harm me personally. I only intend to talk about the actual dangers he promotes, and provide counterclaims to the narratives he tends to enjoy putting out.

Before going further, i will be addressing him by his url, or nothing at all, as i will not be calling him by the japanese name he chooses to go by as a white person. It is against my morals. I hope that my decision doesn’t make this document more confusing than it needs to be.

--- bloomingduskk uses Japanese names as a white person, and has done so for a while. He currently uses the name “maki” , and for the last half of 2023, went by Kaede, despite the fact that i firmly told him not to due to it being cultural appropriation multiple times, and each time he gave me an excuse, before continuing to do it. This is not a targeted attack against him, as he has said before in regard to being told not to use a japanese name, but something that i would condemn no matter who the person was. He identify(s)d as transracial. No matter the mental health issues you may have, the entire concept of “transitioning” into an ethnic minority is racist and entirely unacceptable. Here was his response to that.

And here is him self describing as transracial, and his pinned post on his old radqueer blog

^^ his discord at the time, which i and many others have personal dms with, matched exactly with his radq.ueer blogs. he cannot fucking say this isnt him i will go insane if he tries to deny this shit. He has spoken about me under the guise that I am stalking him, despite never having me blocked on anything but an old art account, and also the fact that I have gone out of my way, due to having severe morality ocd, not to scroll through or look at his content. All screenshots were provided to me secondhand, and not from my own devices, due to how severe this situation was for me, a person with ocd who he knew has ocd. At the time of these screenshots, i specifically requested my friends to block out his usernames so i didn't obsessively compulsively make myself feel sick scrolling through his blogs. (the screenshots in question here are not mine, i own a samsung galaxy, this ui does not match. I added my own annotations to the second image though.) VV his self identification as a proshipper + some stuff he had on his propara blogs (heavy tw)

^^ the first image here is in repsonse to an extremely long and thought out message my friend sent him during this period to this specific blog of his when it still existed.

his response to this was full of lies and empty promises and excuses, and plenty of vapid words he has taken back. i dont see a point in including what he had to say about this purely because he was lying through his teeth.

his twt account was probably the worst thing of his that was shown to me. i do not want to include screenshots of the things he would retweet as they were all sexually explicit imagery and posting of pedophilia, rape, beastiality, severe abuse, loli/shota content, and general dangerous and exploitative philias. i do not want to make that content more reachable to anyone than it already is . this account has been deleted. but i have been given screenshots of him posting his art there. along with the most tame thing i think he posted there. yeah

a lot of the harm he has done to my friends and i is extremely personal, far more personal than i feel comfortable airing out on a public blog that i've worked hard to distance a public personality from. so, i am not willing to spend time slowly outlining every single lie and harmful action he has done. that would make this post impossibly long, and i dont have the stomach to retrigger myself in this way. this has taken me two months to write, as i am deeply bothered by it and this entire event with him made me the sickest i'd been in a long while. do not fucking harass him. block him. im certain he's going to send himself anon asks pretending to be stargloom rabid fans or pretend to be my friends or whatever but all i want is for him to stay the fuck away from me and my friends and spaces where he pretends he isn't into vile shit. block him. dont interact. dont send him anything. just be careful of this cunt . i refuse to let him walk around as if he hasn't happily and enthusiastically promoted the most vile content one can enjoy.

im sure he's gonna scramble after this and probably start spewing revolting shit abt me which hes done at every single turn after me being upset. but he cannot pretend like nothing happened forever. thanks.

#long post #starspeak #jesus christ. now i gotta fucking trigger tag this shit #tw inc*st #tw pedophila mention #tw sh #tw zoophile mention #tw unsanitary #i already said this but DO NOT harass him please just dont interact w this sicko or engage w his work #i know he will send himself anon asks its his favourite game but genuinely. dont do that. thanks #this is rebloggable please do if u can i dont like how he slinks around in the dgr fandom all innocent #tw r4p3 #bruh i cannot keep up w these censored tags #i will probs rb this throughout the week bc i want . this to be known #i am leaving this up because i dont want this to be ignored or forgotten about .

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emilyssky · 10 months

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Chapter 13: Over Again

PAIRING: Lee Know! X fem!reader

GENRE(S): college au, smut, angst

WARNINGS: Mentions of violence and abuse, depression, self harm, eating disorders etc.. mentions of blood, swearing, smoking, smut [ dirty talk, oral; giving and receiving, choking, spanking, praising, degradation, pet names, sometimes Minho is a dick :)

SUMMARY: "Do you remember what you told me the first time we met?"

"What?"

"You said; Always leave people a little better than you found them" he looked at the floor with a small smile for a few seconds and then his eyes found mine. "You really annoyed me when we first met. I envied your optimism and excitement for life. But each time I saw you, I felt a certain thrill. You made me angry, you made me laugh., you made me feel everything. Something about you made me feel a little more alive each time. I know I fucked up and I know I'm an asshole but I'm also brutally in love with you."

Author’s note: I will for sure be editing this within the next few days so please excuse the mistakes, enjoy <333

My heart was drumming against my chest, the back of my neck and hands sweating as I held the bottom of my dress and ran. I ran like I'd never run in my entire life.

Hyunjin, out of breath as well, his face laced with panic and concern, extends a hand in front of me, blocking my way, just before we enter the living room, where the dance continues, like nothing has happened.

"What?" My head snaps to him.

"We can't draw any attention, we have to be discreet." He breathes out sharply.

I narrow my eyes at him, my mind way too consumed with panic to understand that he's right. "Hyunjin, I don't care about the stupid party. Where are they?"

I feel Minhos's fingers gently brush against my back, silently letting me know he's there. He stands behind me, his breathing hard as well but his panic is way more contained and controlled compared to mine and Hyunjin's.

"Did you tell Seungmin?" Minho leans closer to Hyunjin, his eyes searching the room and I do the same, finding Seungmin and Han talking in the corner of the room, their faces clouded as Seungmin presses his phone to his ear. Jeongin and Changbin are nowhere to be found.

"Yes, he has people looking into it." Hyunjin fixes his hair and adjusts his suit before walking calmly towards the door, Minho and I following.

The elevator ride felt like 2 hours instead of 15 seconds, and my legs wouldn't stop bouncing up and down. The minute the door opened, I was the first one out, running towards the exit of the building.

"Y/n, wait!" Minho yells my name, both of them running to catch up with me.

When I spot them, Chan leaning against his car and Felix seating in the back seat with the door open, my heart dropped.

"Oh, my god." I run to them, my choking words making their heads snap to us as we reach them.

"What the fuck happened?!" Minho says.

My hands instantly reach to touch Chan, while Hyunjin kneels in front of Felix taking in his injuries. Both of their faces are beaten up, with bruises and cuts everywhere, their hair tangled and their clothes messy like someone was trying to peel them off of them. I try to see how bad his beatings are, my fingers trying to lift his chin but he keeps his head down, blood coating his bottom lip.

"Chan.." I gasp, my eyes watering at the sight.

"I'm okay, I'm fine.." He mumbles the words that I've heard so many times before but know to never believe. I shake my head, wrapping my arms around his slumping shoulders, his forehead hitting my chest.

"That's not 'okay ' Chan..." Hyunjin spits, his eyes and hands all over Felix, who sits in silence, trying to control his breathing, his eyes blurry.

The sight of Chan hurt breaks my heart but the sight of Felix being hurt fills me with pure rage.

"Who did this?" Minho growls, his tone low, sending chills down my spine. He stands next to me, his arms glued to his side, his fingers curling into firsts. Chan lifts his head slowly, his eyes locking with Minho's and a silent conversation between them plays out for a few seconds, until Minho scoffs loudly, turning around. He buries his hands in his hair and starts pacing.

"I should have fucking killed him." He says under his breath.

I look between them confused. "What? What do you mean?"

I turn to Hyunjin, hoping for answers just as his face shifts from confused to pissed, his eyes narrowing and jaw locking. "Piece of shit."

It takes me a second, the wheels in my head turning, my mind catching up, realizing. And suddenly my heart drops even more. "It was Jackson, right?" The question leaves my trembling lips. I feel my body being showered with fear, fear like I've never felt before, and guilt. Jackson has put me in positions to be scared of him many times before but not like this, he's never gone that far. To hurt, physically hurt my friends in order to get to me is scary, the lengths that he's willing to go to and the things he will do.

"If it were only him, it wouldn't have been a problem." Felix's deep voice makes my head snaps his way.

"How many were they?"

"4." Chan answers Hyunjin, the back of his hand coming up to his bleeding nose.

"I-I don't understand.." I'm in shock. I don't know what to say or do besides hold my best friend between my arms.

"What don't you understand?" Minho's head snaps to me, his whole face burning with anger. "Like you didn't already know that your ex-boyfriend is a fucking piece of shit!" His eyes are cold yet his face is filled with rage.

"Minho." Chan says, warningly, probably feeling how his tone and words shook me a bit in his arms.

Minho stops pacing, now standing facing us with his hands on his hips. "He's a dead man. He's done."

"Okay, come down-" Chan starts but Minho cuts him off.

"Come down?" He says, with the straightest face ever. "Come down? You're asking me to calm down while your face and his," He points at Felix, still dangerously calm. "look light that." He states.

"Yes," Hyunjin's the one to answer. "You need to come down, 'cause it's your fault that they got in this mess in the first place." Hyunjin stands tall, his face hard staring at Minho.

"Hyunjin..." Felix reaches for his hand but Hyunjin pulls away sharply.

Minho's expression twitches a bit, clearly not expecting Hyunjin to say something like that. "I'm sorry that I stood up for her. " Minho takes a step towards him. "Someone had to."

I unwrap my hands from Chan, noticing the squint of Hyunjin's eyes and the tightness of his jaw.

"Stop talking like you're the only one that cares about her!" Hyunjin scoffs an angry laugh. "Cause you weren't there for her when shit went down." He takes a step as well, coming face to face with Minho's stone-cold expression. "I was." He points at his chest. "And Chan was, and Felix was!"

The frustration and anger in his voice is something that I haven't heard in a long, long time and it makes my legs move, now standing closer to them, my body alarmed by both of their radiating emotions. Chan's on his feet as well, looking carefully between his two friends.

"I never said that I'm the only one that cares." I can clearly tell that he's being careful with his words, holding himself back. "But he clearly deserved it."

Hyunjin clenches his jaw. "And what about them?" He motions towards Chan and Felix, his eyes not leaving Minho's. "Do you think that they deserved it too? Cause they paid the price for your reckless behavior. You care about her, don't you care about them?"

Minho's face flashes with emotion. "Of course I care, you know I do." His voice drops.

"Hyunjin, that's enough." Chan steps in, his protective instinct kicking in. Chan hates fighting and will do anything to avoid it, especially between friends.

Hyunjin however is not backing down, his emotions overtaking him. "Y/n told you to stay out of it, now she will have to clean your mess."

"Enough." Felix's voice booms, silencing all of us. His head hanging low, his expression unreadable. "Minho please just don't do anything."

Minhos's face visibly softens at Felix's pleading tone, hitting a nerve.

"There's no reason to fight." His focus turns to Hyunjin whose chest is still rising and falling. "We'll see how we're gonna deal with this later, we should just rest."

"Felix is right." I step in, touching Hyunjin's arm. Hyunjin tends to get really protective over his friends so his reaction is understandable. His eyes find mine, letting a heavy sigh. "Let's not fight, it's none's fault that Jackson's a dick. If anything it's mine, 'cause I was the one that dated him." I chuckle, trying to lift the heaviness of the atmosphere.

Hyunjin's head falls a little, nodding. "I know, I'm sorry." His hand rubs gently on my shoulder.

"Seungmin is looking into it. Let's just go home and talk about it tomorrow ." Chan sighs.

"You're coming with us." Felix states.

"What?" My brows come together.

"Why?" Minho steps forward, his head tilting with curiosity.

Felix's gaze moves between us before setting on Minho. "You never know. It's safer for her to stay with us, just for tonight."

Minho sighs, his shoulders visibly stiffening. "I hate this." He groans. "The fact that we have to act like this because of that motherfucker, like we're scared of him or something."

"I just don't understand why he would do something like this?" I whisper, questioning out loud. "It doesn't make sense, what's there to gain from beating you up? It would make sense to go after Minho, but why you two?"

My heart tightens the more I look at them, the heaviness in my consciousness growing. I hate this, this is my worst fear and the thing I was desperately trying to avoid; dragging people into my mess. I can't help but look at him, my eyes searching his for anything that they can offer me at this moment to make the pain in my chest a little less unbearable. He stares back, his eyes big and full with a handful of emotions, silently comforting me. And then he nods, a tiny move of his head. And that's all I need, weirdly enough.

"I spoke with Seungmin and the rest of the guys, letting them know that we're okay and I told Em to stay here tonight, so let's just go." Chan says, still looking at his phone, his fingers typing aggressively.

"Okay, fine." I move to get inside the car.

"No." Chan stops me. "Minho is driving you."

"Why?"

Minho rests his hands on his hips, his hair a perfect mess and his face expressionless still, staring between me and Chan. "I'm not gonna do anything stupid!" He lifts his hands in defense.

I shake my head with a small smile. "I'll babysit, don't worry. I'll see you at the frat."

"Excuse me?" He gives me a dirty look as I walk towards him.

"Let's go." I give him a small push on his shoulder, earning a series of laughs from behind me.

The air is suddenly cold against my skin, and everything slowly creeps in as we speed down the road. I try to somehow wrap my head around everything that's been happening but I can't. I can't really recall the last time everything was so messed up. I mean, I'm used to having a mess in my head but now that all this shit is actually happening I don't really know what to do or how to deal with all this. And even though fear is slowly taking over my head, even though I know that I have to find a way to fix everything all I can think about is him. Him, and how everything now is somehow about him. I hate to admit even to myself that he has concerned every piece of my mind and especially after tonight it will be impossible for me to stay away from him, no matter how he will treat me when the night is over. I just hope that somehow all this will be over when I close my eyes tonight, and when the daylight creeps into our lives things will be different. Simple.

"Y/n?" His voice snaps me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah?"

His eyes leave the road for a few seconds, scanning my face. "I said what are you thinking."

"Um," I mumble, my mind still lost in thought. "Just thinking."

"I hope you're thinking about me and not about that piece of shit."

I chuckle, turning to look at him.

"Do you want me to go and beat him up?... Again?" He adds.

"Do you have a death wish?" I shake my head.

"He does." His eyebrows go up, his eyes not leaving the road. He rests his back against the seat, one hand lazy holding the steering wheel while the other rests against his thigh and my fingers start toying with my dress, trying to keep themselves from touching it. His hand, his thigh...him.

His eyes catch me and a knowing smile grows on his lips. "I told you."

"What?"

"It's the 'Minho' effect."

I chuckle again, this time louder. "Shut up." I turn to look at him again and as tiny as his smile was I caught it. Not a smug or cocky smile, a true smile, soft and genuine.

He sighs, heavily, his teeth biting his bottom lip as he lets his head fall back against the seat. His free hand then moves from his thigh and gently takes mine, our fingers intertwining.

I stare down at our hands in my lap, fighting a grin that slowly fades into a heavy sigh of my own. "What are we gonna do?" I finally ask.

He doesn't answer, his jaw and grip on the wheel tightening.

"Minho, he's not okay." I look down at our hands again, feeling his thumb brushing against my skin, gently. "He's really spiteful and obsessive and he does things without caring about the consequences cause he never had to face them, thanks to his family. But he's mentally losing it, I can tell that he's not doing well. He's been struggling with these episodes and blackouts and anger issues his whole life. "

"Angel," He cuts me off, his face stone cold." I don't give a shit. He touched my friends. Hell, he touched you." He shakes his head. "He doesn't deserve pity. He had a shitty childhood, cool, tell him to join the fucking club along with the millions of other people that did as well." He spits. "And maybe see a therapist instead of beating up people.? Just saying." He lifts his shoulders.

"Well," I drag out. "You did beat him up too so... you're not handling your anger perfectly as well."

His eyes snap to mine, his face scarily expressionless. "Could you be just a little bit grateful for that, like damn?"

I tilt my head, wearing a soft smile at how this moment feels. "Thank you," I whisper, and mean it. " I appreciate what you did for me."

He looks at me, and I count the seconds his eyes study my face. Oh, how I love being looked at by him. He brings our intertwined hands to his lips, leaving a soft kiss on the back of mine. "There's not much that I wouldn't do for you angel."

Heat spreads across my face, my heart warm and beating faster at his words, and I can't say anything or do anything other than admire him as he continues to drive. I desperately wanna ask him about what this is, and what is it that he feels for me but the fear that I might ruin such a beautiful and rare moment for us stops me. So instead I seat back and let myself enjoy the car ride and the feeling of his hand in mine. It's then that I notice that the road we're taking is not the usual way to my apartment.

"Hold no, where are we going?" I look around curiously.

"I need to drop something off at a friend's house."

I narrow my eyes at him. "What friend?"

"Just a friend." He shrugs, not looking at me.

Here we go again. "Can we stop with the secrets?"

"Can't you just relax?" He snaps back. "There's no secret. I honestly just have to drop something off."

"Great, sure, just drag me along to your weed dropoffs, without telling me." I roll my eyes at him as he stops the car.

He takes his seat belt off and takes my chin between his fingers, forcing my eyes to his. "Cut the grumpy shit," He smirks and his eyes fall to my lips " It will take 10 seconds." And then he kisses me. It's short, only a few seconds, but enough to make my stomach fill with excitement. "Wait here."

He exits the car, his body moving so smoothly as he walks all the way to the front door of the house we parked in front of. I pull my phone out of my small purse, and send a quick text to Chan, letting him know that I'm gonna be a little late before deciding to scroll a little bit through Instagram, as I wait.

A light knock on my window makes me jump, almost causing me a heart attack. My eyes meet a young woman, with long dark hair and big brown eyes. She offers me an apologetic smile as I roll my window down.

"I'm so sorry," She immediately apologizes. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"No, it's okay" I brush her off. "do you need anything?"

"Oh, no, no. I just noticed Minho's car as I was coming home." She tugs a piece of her behind her ear.

The mention of his name shakes me but I try not to let my curiosity show, still I feel it eating me inside. "Um," I laugh awkwardly. "He's inside his friend's house but he'll be back any minute now. "

The girl looks behind her, at the house, and offers me a smile. "That's my house." She says.

"Oh," My stomach drops. "Um,excuse me but how do you know him?" I hesitantly ask, afraid of the answer.

Her smile grows. "Oh, I'm his sister."

I freeze, my eyes going wide."His sister?" Oh my god. "Mia right?"

"Yes." She giggles and I take her in once again, now noticing the little similarities. The big eyes, and bright smile.

"Oh, god." I open the car door, feeling the need to greet her properly. "Nice to meet you." I shake her hand. "I'm Y/n."

"I should have guessed that he got himself a girlfriend." She studies me. "That explains his sudden mood lift."

I blush. "Oh no, no, I'm not his-"

"Mia."

Both of our heads snap to the now open door, seeing Minho standing in the doorway. Our eyes meet and I can see his face hardening, his eyes moving between me and his sister. My blood runs cold at his expression, knowing what's coming.

"Min, hi." His sister warmly smiles at him.

But before he has a chance to say anything, a little kid appears, squeezing his way through Minho's legs slightly open legs. "Mommy!" He yells and runs towards us.

Mia drops to the floor. "Hi baby, come here." She takes the giggling, little boy in her arms, lifting him off the ground as I stand completely frozen next to them but not as frozen as Minho.

He's a statue. As still as I've ever seen him before and for once his face doesn't hold an inch of confidence. It holds something I've never seen from him; fear. Uncertainty and hesitance.

My eyes move from the woman and the child to him many times, my brain catching up. The scene that plays in front of me is the first hit, the first punch in the stomach.

"I met your girlfriend." Mia nods my way with the biggest smile, a smile that Minho doesn't return, instead, he flashes her a look.

"She's not my girlfriend." He says, and that was the second hit and most brutal one like it always is with him. His words cut like knives, and this time is no different. Actually this time, it hurts more.

My shoulders drop, my whole face unable to maintain a somewhat happily natural expression, as I stand without having anything to say.

"Oh." I feel his sister's eyes on me, and I don't have to look to know the sympathy that they hold.

"She's just a friend." He goes on, adding as if his previous words weren't enough, and the thought that he might be doing it on purpose crosses my mind. There's no way that he doesn't realize how much he's hurting me right now, but then again I feel like that's how we always end up.

"I dropped your things, " He points towards the door. "So we're just gonna go."

He walks up to his sister, planting a lazy kiss on the side of her head before ruffling the small boy's hair.

"Bye Uncle Minho." The boy says with the sweetest little smile.

Minho smiles back softly. "Bye, kiddo." And when he looks away from them, the softness is gone.

"Drive safely," Mia says back as she makes her way towards the door. "And Y/n, it was lovely meeting you."

I force myself to find my voice. "You too."

When the door closes, and we are alone, Minho makes a move my way, a step with his hand lifted, yet his eyes are looking anywhere but mine. I take a step back, my chest heavier by the second, the look on his face and his words awakening anger and pain inside me.

"Just get in the car." His gaze meets mine, and I see nothing. His eyes, blank and hard.

I shake my head, arms crossed. "Fuck you." I scoff.

I walk past him, my feet moving fast wanting nothing but to get as far away from his as possible.

"Y/n!" He yells my name but not in a way that will make me stop, not in the way I want him to. I feel his grip on my elbow before he spins me around to face him.

I push at his chest with all the force I can master. "Don't fucking touch me."

"Just get in the car, I'll explain-"

"No," I cut him off. "There's nothing to explain. I'm tired." I let my arms drop and slam against the side of my thighs. "I'm tired of your games, I'm tired of going back and forth and I'm tired of your lies."

"I've never lied to you." His face and voice drop. "I've always been real with you. I just-"

"Just what?" I say drowning in frustration. "Just wanna use me when you can and when we're around others to treat me like shit?" My fear of looking pathetic doesn't stop me cause right now I don't care if he realizes just how much I want him, all I care about is the fact that he doesn't want me in the same way.

"A friend?" I get into his face but he doesn't move he simply clenches his jaw, his eyes hardening. "My breath was yours the minute I laid eyes on you?" I quote his words from earlier that made my heart melt, in the most mocking way I can. "Yeah, I'm guessing we're really good friends huh?" I push at his chest again. Right now I'm seeing red, feeling pure rage at how hurt I allowed myself to get by him once again.

His face turns to the right, the back of his index finger brushing the tip of his nose as his tongue pokes the inside of his mouth repeatably. He bounces back, nevertheless, coming back in my face.

"If you could just let me explain for a second and stop being so fucking aggressive-"

"I don't wanna hear anything from you." I laugh.

"I don't give a fuck what you want." He spits back.

"Clearly! And that's the problem."

His head falls back. "You're overreacting."

My eyes narrow, hands curling into fists in front of my face. "Dude, are you being serious right now?!" My hands bury themselves in my hair as a frustrated laugh escapes me. "I can't do this, I really can't."

His palms come together, touching his mouth and nose, and closes his eyes, a visible effort to contain his anger. "Y/n, please listen to me."

"I don't want to. " I shake my head. "I wanna go home, I don't wanna be around you anymore, I can't even look at you right now. Actually, I don't feel like being around ever again. " I say, knowing it's a lie, yet the words leave my mouth, my anger leading them.

His shoulders drop. "You don't mean that."

"I do." I spit, my eyes watering. "You hurt me! It's all you ever do! You give me a moment of happiness, a few beautiful words and then you rip me apart."

I do gain a small amount of satisfaction from the way his face shifts, how his eyes are getting glossy and moving everywhere around my face, desperately.

"Baby-" He reaches for me but I hold my hands up, stopping him. The nickname hurts.

I'm unable to stop the tears now, my throat tight. "I'm leaving. I'm walking home and don't you dare follow me. For once, respect me and listen."

I don't look at him before I turn around to grab my stuff from his car, cause I know that the sight will be painful enough to make me stay, to let him explain and sweet-talk his way through me but I'm done getting hurt. I walk away from him and he does nothing to stop me.

I walk and I walk, letting the tears fall in silence, coating my face and neck. I welcome the pain and the feeling of losing him again as if he was ever mine to begin with and allow myself to cry for him just for a little while. The thing that hurts the most is that; I knew. I know Minho, I know how complicated he is, and how he goes back and forth with his emotions yet I still let myself fall. I like him. God, I want him so much it hurts but how long will I allow myself to be there for someone who hasn't figured out what they want?

A car slowly stops next to me as I keep walking.

Hyunjin's eyes meet mine, and he reaches over to the passenger's seat to open the door. "Get in."

I do without thinking about it.

"How did you find me?" I cross my arms, aware that my face is still wet from the tears so I keep my head low.

He glances at me swiftly as he drives, his face more clouded than ever before. "He called me and told me that you left and that you're walking back home. So I checked your location and came."

We stop at a red light, and his heavy sight fills the air.

"Did you tell Chan?" I mumble.

"No." He turns to me, but I don't lift my eyes, I keep them glued to my knees, tears still escaping the corners of them, silently. "You know that he would kill him, especially if he found out how hard you're crying over him right now." He brushes the side of my hair away from my face, tugging them behind my ear. I must look like a fucking panda right now, and a new wave of tears almost reaches me over the hours I spend doing my makeup just for him to ruin it within a few minutes.

I rub my cheeks with my palms, brushing the tears off, and take a breath. "I'm sorry."

"I hate seeing you cry." He says under his breath. "And maybe I should tell Chan, just to see Minho get a good beating."

"Hyunjin!"

"What?" He lifts his shoulders, hands still on the wheel. "He deserves it. Look, Minho is my friend and I obviously love the guy but I'm done watching you get heartbroken over dudes that don't deserve you."

"Maybe I'm the problem." I whisper but he catches it.

"Don't say that." He answers sharply. "Please don't say that. I can't stand the fact that he's making you think this way about yourself."

I wish I could see myself the way my friends see me, but I can't. Cause in my eyes, I'm always the problem. In my eyes, I'm never enough and I'm always at fault. And deep down I know that the only reason why everyone sees me as someone that deserves their love and protection is because they don't know everything about me. And I made sure of that. I never wanted anyone to know what I've done in the past or anything about my childhood cause then everyone would see me, exactly how I see myself.

"I like him." I sob.

"I know babe." His hand gently touches my knee.

"I feel like he's the only one that sees me, the only person that can truly understand me."

His expression twitches. "Okay, ouch! That's bullshit. I see you." His tone is playfully offended. "And I understand you."

It's true, he does. All of them do. But not like him.

"I know you do." I touch his hand. "But with him, it felt, different. I've never felt a connection like that before." I lay my emotions open for him.

He sighs again, the type of sigh that makes me want to break down again.

"Look Minho is," He's searching for the right words. "He's a lot to deal with, he's complicated. And even though he's an amazing person and a really giving and loyal friend, being in a relationship is completely different."

"What do you mean?" I look at him confused.

"I mean that he cares about you Y/n." His fingers drum on the wheel. "A lot, like a lot lot." He chuckles. "But he has his own issues to deal with, and the fact that he can't be with you exactly how you want him to or need him to doesn't mean he doesn't want to."

I give him a sideways glance, his words surprising me. "How do you know all this? I thought that you and Minho weren't that close."

"Well, first of all, it's common sense and I'm a pretty intellectual human being." He smirks, earning a light push on his shoulder by me. "Second, Minho loves me. He likes to act like I annoy the shit out of him around others but I know that I'm secretly his favorite. We've gotten pretty close despite the fact that we bicker about every little thing." He shrugs.

"Ugh!" I groan. "Why can't he act like a normal human being? I'm tired of chasing him!"

"Then don't! Let him chase you this time."

"He won't." I shake my head. Chasing me would mean that he cares enough and it's like he has this fear of showing any type of emotion. He never shows me anything unless I push him, bring him to his limits.

"Oh, trust me," Hyunjin's lips turn into a small knowing smile. "He will. Now forget about him and focus on the severely beaten baby Felix that's waiting for you in his room to cuddle."

My eyes go wide, realizing I have completely forgotten about them. "Oh my god! Drive faster!"

I've missed this. Being squeezed between Hyunjin and Felix, cuddling under the warm sheets as the daylight creeps into the room through the half-closed curtains. I don't wanna move an inch, I don't wanna face reality or talk about everything that happened last night. I just wanna stay here, my head resting on Hyunjin's chest while Felix is curled behind me, his limps launching on me like a koala bear, both of them lightly snoring.

Hyunjin agreed to not tell Chan anything but it wasn't hard for him to realize that something happened when he saw my face the minute we walked through the door, he still said nothing though. We didn't talk much about what happened, we hang out a bit and then we went straight to bed, the events of the night too heavy so all of us.

"Rise and shine kids!" Chan's voice pulls me out of my slumber, and I slowly open my eyes. He pulls the curtains fully open earning a series of groans from both Hyunjin and Felix. Felix buries himself deeper into the covers, his body still glued to mine while Hyunjin unwraps one arm from around me and places his forearm over his eyes.

"It's time to get up." Chan walks closer to the bed, a lazy smile plastered on his face.

I stretch my arms, gently pulling myself out of their grips in order to lift myself into a seating position.

"I missed this sight." Chan admires us with his arms crossed. "You kids sleeping together."

"Stop talking like a father." I rub my eyes, trying to wake up a bit. "I babysit you more than you do."

"That's not true," His smile grows. "I'm the dad and Emma is the mom, everyone knows that." He shrugs. "Ah, it's hard being a dad, especially now that I have 5 more kids."

"So should we call you daddy from now on?" Hyunjin's raspy morning voice comes from between the pillows, his eyes still closed.

"I mean, if the shoe fits..." Chan trails off, with a smirk.

I reach for the nearest pillow and throw it at him.

He easily avoids it, chucking. "Get up and come down for breakfast. It's Christmas." He says already out of the door.

Holy shit, he's right. With everything that's been happening, the fact that today is Christmas Day totally slipped my mind. A wave of excitement and joy runs through me, and it brings a small smile to my lips. It's Christmas. I make a move to lift my body, but Felix's hand, flat against my stomach stops me.

"5 more minutes." He mumbles, still half asleep. His morning voice is something I'll probably never get used to no matter how many times we sleep together.

"Noooo!" I groan, laughing. "Come on, it's Christmas!"

I have to fight my way out of the bed, but the minute I'm on my feet I ran to the bathroom, to quickly wash my face and brush my teeth. I look at myself in the mirror a bit longer, notching the small red marks across my neck. His marks. And the feeling of his lips on my neck, his hands on me, his words, everything came rushing back. I shake my head, in attempt to shake him off, but it's impossible. He's all I think about, I feel like he's everywhere, and honestly, I don't know when it got to this point. I don't know if I wanna talk to him after last night, the look on his face and his words are still fresh, open wounds. A part of me believes that if I don't make the move to talk he will simply ignore me like he always does, but after last night and especially after my talk with Hyunjin, I will not let myself make the first move. Even though I want to, despite how his words and actions last night hurt me. I wanna see him try, for once. Maybe he will, maybe not. Still, I'm done running after him, hoping.

I make my way down the stairs, excitement filling my veins but my feet slow down when I hear voices coming from the living room. I turn slowly to the right, careful not to be head.

Chan stands at the half-open door, only his back visible to me. "I told you she's sleeping."

"Look, I just really need to talk to her."

Minho.

His voice makes my breath hitch, my heart suddenly heavy in my chest. I try to move closer, in order to sneak a peek at him.

"Minho, please just go. I don't know what happened but I know that she needs space." Chan insists.

"No," Minho takes a step forward. "She needs to listen to me."

The muscles on Chan's back tighten. "I told you to be careful." His voice is steady and low. "She's my best friend and you have no idea how protective I am over her."

Minho stares at him just as hard, both of their bodies still as a statue. "Chan.."

"Don't make me step in between you two, 'cause for her I will," Chan warns him, his tone, unlike anything I've heard before from him. "You can be around her, you can like her, you can even love her if you want, but you don't get to break her heart. Cause then things will get complicated. You guys are the most important thing in my life, but she's family to me."

Chan's words make me warm. Even though we both know what we mean to each other, it's not often that I hear him express it in such words. Since my brother died, there's been this hole inside me, a void that nothing could fill. Or so I thought. When Chan came into my life everything changed. We became so close, so fast that I didn't even realize that he had silently filled that hole inside me. We always say that I saved him because my family took him in in a way, but I think it's the other way around. Chan's the reason that I'm where I am today.

"Please don't cross the line." He adds.

Minho's head stands low, his hair messy, falling into his eyes. "I don't wanna hurt her." His tone is gentle, sad. And I can't help but feel the same, his words tugging my heart. I wanna run to the door and wrap myself around him but I stay rooted, not letting myself go down that road again.

"Just.." Chan trails off. "Give her space, yeah? Just go home, rest, and come back for the Christmas dinner."

Minho looks tired, his eyes drained from the usual hint of life they hold with bags underneath them. Chan pats his shoulder, but it takes one look from Minho to pull him into a hug.

"Just please sleep and eat, don't make me worry about you too." Chan whispers against him.

The scene in front of me looks so vulnerable and personal that I begin to feel like I shouldn't be here, watching them. I force myself to step back, soundlessly jogging up the stairs until I hear the front door close. I wait for a moment, watching as Chan walks towards the kitchen before I do the same.

His head snaps to me as I enter. "Good morning princess."

"Good morning." I smile at him lazily. I lean into the counter, observing how he flips the last of the massive golden pancakes and stacks them on top of the rest. It's my first time spending Christmas with them, usually, I chose to spend the holidays with my mum but I'm glad I'm here.

"What?" He chuckles, noticing my staring. He places the pancakes in the middle of the counter, next to a variety of toppings, like Nutella, maple syrup, and many fruits. There's also fresh coffee, juice, and 2 different cereal placed on the counter along with 4 plates and glasses.

"Nothing," I shake my head. "I'm just happy to be spending Christmas with you guys."

His smile is soft as he reaches me. "I'm happy too."

I let my eyes study him, his injuries darker in the light of day. It feels like a punch in the stomach.

He notices the way I look at him. "It's okay." He says gently.

"It's not Chan," I bite my lip. "It's really not."

He tilts his head, his eyes soft and big staring at me and when my own eyes start to fill with tears he pulls me to his chest. "Come here."

His arms are one of the few places I feel truly safe. Everything about him brings me comfort and calms me down.

"It's gonna be okay, yeah? I promise." His hands brush my hair. "I'll take care of everything."

Oh, how I wish I could believe him.

#lee know x reader #lee know smut #stray kids x reader #kpop fanfic #kpop smut #kpop #skz smut #lee know fanfic #lee know series #lee minho #leeknowfanfic #lee know #lee know skz #lee minho skz #lee minho x reader #skz imagines #skz fanfic #lee minho fanfic #kpopsmut

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simpingforthemm · 8 months

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Could I have a carmen Aziza fic where Yn is new to the prison and she always feels like someone’s staring at her and one day she catches carmen staring at her and gets really flustered then carmen starts flirting with her and becomes posessive over her then one day she drags Yn to the library and kisses her and basically confesses how she wants Yn all for herself

my love, mine all mine

my love mine all mine - mitski

word count: 5.9k

warnings: obsessive, possessive and protective behavior, flirting, kissing, toxic behavior, a bit of violence, threats, cursing, stalking, harry potter part 2 hate (I'm truly sorry)

summary: y/n is new to the prison and always feels like she is being watched. one night in the tv room, she turns around to the person who is watching her, only then realizing how gorgeous her observer is. they form a bond through several sets of events, slowly falling for each other. y/n slowly gets to know ouija's protective and possessive nature and at one birthday party of y/n's bunkmate, that behavior hits its peak. provocated by jealousy, frustration and confusing feelings, ouija makes a messy confession, explaining how she wants y/n all to herself

a/n: heyy, sorry that this took so long! I had a lot going on with school and writer's block so that I literally had no motivation to write. Anyway, I put a lot of work into this and I hope you like it (pls tell me what you think!!). I hope the flirting isn't too awkward, I'm still figuring out how to do that. I hope you enjoy and that I've done your idea justice. also this takes place in season 4

You were walking towards the entrance of Litchfield Penitentiary, the prison where you would be spending the next 3 years of your life. You had been charged with drug trafficking and distribution, all because some scared little snitch who didn't want to go to prison had ratted the whole cartel out. Even your drug lord was now facing a sentence of 9 years. 9 fucking years.

Your lawyer, who had defended you in trial, had been really shitty and literally just gave up on you. He didn't even try to make your sentence shorter, that sorry excuse of a man. Lazy fuck.

Morello, the weird Italian lady who drove you and some other people down to the prison, opened the gate and let you and the other new inmates inside. You couldn't believe you were now an "inmate", it was so weird to think of yourself that way.

"Welcome home everyone!", she exclaimed, giving you an encouraging smile.

You were lucky to get out of the cold van, it was January after all and since it had already snowed, the temperature had dropped down several degrees. So it was a relief to step into the warmer walls of the prison, not having to freeze your ass off in the snow.

The first thing you noticed when you stepped into the halls was how crowded it was. You were tempted to just turn around and run, trying to escape the stuffy air and suffocating feeling that was slowly spreading inside of you. Other inmates were constantly passing your little group, shooting you intimidating glances or smiling dangerously at you. You were uncomfortable, but not scared.

It just reminded you of the halls of your high school back then. Loud, uncomfortable and always overfilled. And god, the popular girls who used to bully you. To say the least, you were used to this.

Morello guided you through the prison, showing you where the commissary, bathrooms and everything else was. You were just passing the TV room, looking inside for a second when you made eye contact with a brown haired woman. The woman frowned at you, looking you up and down. You frowned back and kept walking, turning away from the door.

What the fuck was that?

You sighed and shook your head, telling yourself not to think too much of it. It had only been a small encounter, nothing too significant. At least not enough to get you in trouble. For now.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

You were shown to your dorm, where you occupied the bunk above a woman named Brandy Epps. It was obvious she was extremely racist, you even heard her discussing something about "white lives matter" or "white pride", which you took as a sign to stay the fuck away from her. She continued to make dirty comments about other inmates in the prison while you were busy making your bed.

You turned around to listen to her when you were done, staring at her in disgust and listening to the insults that were coming out of her mouth so easily. You shook your head in disbelief.

You must've been staring at her for too long as the woman turned around, obviously pissed off.

"You got some kind of problem?", she questioned threateningly, getting closer to where you were standing.

"No", you huffed, looking away. You really didn't want to start any trouble on your first day. Best to avoid tricky situations.

"Good. I see you staring like that again, we got a problem, you hear me?"

You sighed. You should've known people would have anger issues in here. That people would get aggressive over the smallest things, because they didn't have anything better to do. Because prison was a shithole and it was fucking tiring to simply just exist there. You certainly didn't want to end up like her, but you feared you were going to have no choice in the future.

"Sure."

Before she could say anything else, you made your way to the cafeteria for dinner.

Due to the prison's overcrowding, the blocks were divided up at each meal. You and your block ate with Cell Block C or the so-called "Spanish Harlem", as Morello had already explained to you.

With your plate of food in hand, you sat down at the end of some table and started eating. You were extremely hungry, exhausted from the stress of arriving in the prison.

Suddenly, you felt two pairs of eyes burn holes into your back and you just knew someone was staring at you. You forced yourself to not turn around, not wanting to start a fight on your first day. One never knew what could happen in prison, you might get jumped just because you sat in the wrong seat or stared at someone the wrong way, almost like it did with the racist bitch back in your dorm.

It made you uncomfortable but you focused on the disgusting brown liquid in front of you that was supposed to be "chili con carne", forcing it down your throat and hoping, no praying, that that person was going to leave you alone.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

The next few days you felt as if you were being watched the entire time, feeling that burning sensation in your back again. There wasn't a single moment where you didn't turn around every single second while walking to the showers or the cafeteria.

You were extremely paranoid.

But every time you did, there were always too many people in the halls to really make out someone who could be stalking you.

So you just kept on going about your day, minding your business.

Until you couldn't anymore.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

It was Friday night, which today should've been movie night, but it got canceled and now everyone was in a bad mood. It wasn't often that something nice like this happened and it was a good escape from the tiring everyday routine the inmates had in the prison. You got to watch cool movies, eat snacks from the commissary and chill with your friends.

Instead, you were now sitting in the tv room, just reading your book in a chair next to Morello, who had unfortunately forced you to come along.

"Come on, Y/N! I promise it'll be fun. You can bring your boring book, even though it is a TV room, meaning you go there to watch TV and not to…read. Usually. But I'm sure they'll make an exception!", she had said to you after finding you alone on your bunk, wrapped in your blanket. You had rolled your eyes at her but gotten up from your bunk nevertheless, admitting defeat.

You had actually been enjoying the silence in your dormitory from everyone being gone, but of course, that just had to be interrupted.

Now you were sitting there, amongst all those other people, just trying to read your book in peace. But, and honestly what else did you expect, there was the piercing set of eyes again, just watching your every move. You were actually so sick of it now. Why was this person looking at you the whole time? Why were you so interesting?

This time, you actually decided to turn around and not ignore them like you had done the other times.

You spotted her immediately. It was the woman who had frowned at you on your first day! The woman with the brown hair!

And now she was smirking at you. How was she not looking away or ashamed that you caught her?

Your eyes widened as you slowly scanned her. She was drop-dead-gorgeous. She had curves that were to die for, these stunning dark brown eyes…

You felt yourself blush and turned away. God, hadn't you promised yourself to not find anyone attractive here? Especially not people that could possibly be dangerous?

Well, you had just failed miserably and pathetically.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

Someone pulled a chair up in front of you, sitting on it backwards, using the back of the chair as an armrest.

You were looking down on the ground, burying your face in your book when a finger hooked itself under your chin, tilting it up.

The drop-dead-gorgeous woman was right in front of you, her eyes scanning your face, biting her lip.

She outstretched her hand to you.

"Ouija. Nice to meet you." Her eyes shone with something you couldn't quite decipher.

"Y/N", you introduced yourself, feeling shy in front of this beautiful woman, shaking her hand. She held onto it a little longer than normal, looking you directly in your eyes.

"That's a beautiful name."

She flashed you an amused smile, recognizing your anxiousness.

"Yo, there's no need to be shy, chica" (cutie/girl), Ouija said while moving in a little closer.

"Not for a pretty girl like you at least.", she said with a lowered voice.

She smiled at you once again and you felt your cheeks heat up.

"Thank you", you mumbled, not really knowing what else to say.

Ouija smirked.

"You're welcome, muñequita" (dolly)

Fuck.

"Anyhow, what you in for, mama?", she asked, slowly leaning back again as if she didn't just audibly make you gasp.

"Drug trafficking and distribution", you answered, avoiding her gaze.

"Yo, damn! So you a 'little miss drug dealer' then?" She laughed.

"Certainly. Right hand woman of my drug lord, thank you very much", you responded, bowing your head a little. She chuckled, shaking her head.

"Impressive, yo. I like a woman in power. It's hot."

You felt yourself blush again. God, this woman somehow had the ability to make you flustered very easily.

"So, what did you do?", you questioned.

"WIC Fraud. I killed three somebody's - nobodies -", she pointed to a tattoo that she had right next to her eye, three black teardrops, "and then I get popped for fucking fraud. You believe that shit?"

You shook your head, confused as to how they didn't find out about her killing all those people but charged her for the fraud. Maybe if you had committed another crime besides the drug thing and turned yourself in, you would be facing less time. You were suddenly deep in your thoughts, wondering about that, so that you didn't notice Ouija standing up beside you.

"All right, mama, I'mma let you get back to your book here. We'll see each other around", she said optimistically.

Ouija walked back to her seat, but not without winking at you and letting her hand brush against your arm.

You didn't get the chance to ask why she had been staring at you this whole time before really introducing herself to you, but right now, that matter seemed pretty unimportant to you. You felt starstruck from the interaction with the latina, just staring at the words in your book and not being able to focus at all. The conversation had been way too short and you already wanted to talk to her more.

But what you didn't know is that you wouldn't have to wait long until the two of you would speak again. Carmen had taken a liking to you and she was ready to explore what might develop between you two. At least she already knew that she was capable of making your cheeks go red within a matter of seconds.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

You were doing research in the library, or more like trying to find one of your favorite books, Harry Potter. You were trying to find some comfort in this cold place and what better way to do it than with your favorite literature? You wandered through the fiction aisle, scanning through the books.

There it was, on the highest shelf. But, of course, as expected, you were not tall enough to reach it. You felt so incredibly pathetic right now, there was no chair in sight to help you, no stool for you to stand on.

„Yo, need some help there?“, you heard someone ask. You turned around to the voice.

It was Ouija. She was leaning against one of the shelves, smirking at your attempts to stand on your tiptoes to grab the book, of course failing miserably.

„Yes, please“, you said, just a tad embarassed.

„Which book?“, she asked.

„Harry Potter“

She nodded, reaching up, taking it out without any strain.

„So, the goblet of fire“, she said, twisting the book in her hands.

„It was one of my favorite books growing up. I’m already done with all of the books I was allowed to bring in here so I thought I’d do a little nostalgia trip“

Your fingertips touched as she passed you the book.

„I liked it too as a little kid. But my favorite book was always the chamber of secrets“

„Girl – no offense – but are you serious?“

Ouija frowned, a playful smirk tugging at the corner of her lips.

„What do you mean?“, she questioned, crossing her arms in front of her face.

You smiled, shaking your head.

„Nah, I don’t want to destroy your favorite childhood book for you. I have a very strong opinion when it comes to Harry Potter.“

„No worries, yo, I can handle it. Give it to me“, Ouija said lowly, tilting her head. You bit your lip, rubbing your hands together, getting ready to go.

„Well, I think Ginny’s absolutely insufferable in that book, I mean sure, she was influenced by Voldemort but still, I think it’s not right that she played the „weak, needing to be saved“ girl in that book. It’s not exactly feminist. Also I think the book doesn’t really add to the series, it’s just kind of there as a „filler“ or an information dump. Also, the thing with the diary is just unrealistic. Why wouldn’t anyone notice that it’s in Ginny’s posession? It just doesn’t make sense.“

You grit your teeth in worry, hoping you didn’t go to far.

„I’m sorry, was that too far?“, you asked.

„Nah, I think you’re right actually. Yo, I might have to rethink my favorite childhood book“, Ouija laughed, rubbing her neck.

„I’d be happy to help. I know quite a lot about the series actually“, you explained proudly.

„I figured. That pretty face can convince me of anything, man, I’m sure“

You looked down, trying to hide the blush spreading on your cheeks.

„Don’t hide it“, Ouija said, tilting your chin up. You looked up into her beautiful dark brown eyes, getting lost in them.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

It was late in the afternoon, the sun was already setting and the inmates had a few hours left to catch some air outside before the prison would close its gates, making it time for lights out. You had put on your winter coat and beanie, ready to take a little stroll in the yard. Your hands were covered in thick gloves, protecting you from the harsh January wind

Today, you were just going to take a little stroll around the yard, not that anything else was really possible here. You wish you would have some kind of space to run, get rid of all the energy that you weren’t able to put to use properly.

You were just about to round the corner at the mailbox when you heard a noise.

You stopped in your tracks when you heard someone sniffle and sob.

Frowning, you started walking towards the sound and soon you were able to make out the person who they were coming from. They had brown curly hair - Oh shit! Ouija! You stopped yourself before you were going to run over to her and make sure she's okay.

You were unsure if you should approach her at such a sensitive time.

You wouldn't know how she was going to react, the two of you had known each other barely a hot second.

But you knew that if you were alone and crying in a prison and the person discovering you had good intentions, you would want to be comforted too. And that was good enough for you. You hoped you were making the right decision.

"Ouija, hey, what's wrong?", you asked worriedly, slowly kneeling down beside her.

Her head snapped up, her eyes widening when she realized it was you. She quickly wiped her tears away, trying to find her composure. You couldn’t help but admire her, she was even pretty when she cried, her lashes were stuck together, her cheeks were flushed… God, wrong moment!! Get it together Y/N...

"Oh shit. Hey, didn't hear you coming. Yo, how's it going?"

"I'm fine, but you don't seem to be. What's the matter?"

"Nah, I'm fine, nothing to worry about", she said quickly. You raised your eyebrows, not believing anything she said.

"What? I said I’m fine, man“, Ouija spat, putting up all her defenses.

"Look, I know we don’t really know each other, but I’m not gonna judge you for showing emotion or opening up. It’s human.“

Ouija huffed, shaking her head in disbelief.

"Fuck, fine. Shit, you're stubborn, girl. It's my son. He's in the hospital because of some gang activity in his block and…I'm not there for him, man. I'm in fucking prison. And I can't do anything about it."

You sighed. You knew what she was talking about. You felt the same. Being in prison made you feel so stuck, even though you had only been there for a few days. You weren’t there for your loved ones, the world around you kept turning and changing while you were locked away. Your friends had also seemingly already forgotten about you. Maybe they were all just glad you were gone.

"Honestly, I get it. I have a little sister, she just turned 5. She's growing up so fast and in a year, she'll already be in primary school. I'm missing out on her making her first friends there, I can't help her with her homework or comfort her when she has a bad day. It's torture. So yeah, I can relate. Nothing bad happened to her yet, fortunately, but you know the world out there. I can’t protect her from the harm she might experience out there."

The two of you were silent for a second, saying nothing.

"The thing is, you can't change anything about it. As much as it sucks, you gotta figure out how to deal with that shit. You gotta trust that your son knows you love him and that you being in here has nothing to do with him."

That flipped a switch in Ouija. She did love her son, a lot. She had just got to find a way to show it to him, especially right now. A small smile spread on her face as an idea popped up in her head.

She felt your hand touch her back, stroking it slowly.

Ouija turned to you, the woman who she had been obsessed with ever since she had entered the walls of this prison. The woman who she had frowned at when she made eye contact with her at her first day. The woman who frowned back. She knew that you knew that she had watched you the first few days upon your arrival. You were just so mesmerizing to her, she somehow felt drawn to you.

"Inmates! Back inside!", you heard a guard shout loudly. You sighed. The roughness of the CO's was still something you had to get used to.

"Yo, we should probably go before it gets serious or some shit. You never know if these fuckers are gonna pull out a gun or not", Ouija said, outstretching her hand to you, desperate to get you away from possible danger.

You nodded, letting her help you up.

As you were about to walk past the guard, you noticed that your shoe was untied. You stopped, reaching down to tie it, but the CO was not having it.

„INMATE! KEEP IT MOVING! I HAVEN’T GOT ALL FUCKING DAY, YOU UNDERSTAND??!“, he shouted aggressively, about to yank you up from the ground, when Ouija threw herself inbetween you two.

From your place on the ground, you didn’t hear what she said to the CO or what made him back off of the two of you. You only saw her enraged facial expression as she turned to help you up, once again. You were in a complete state of shock, this being the first time you were properly yelled at by a guard. You felt Ouija wrap an arm around your shoulder, guiding you back inside.

„Inmate Aziza, I would fucking throw you down to the SHU, but I’m fucking exhausted from today so I will let you off EASILY because I’m so nice with just a shot. For the both of you that is!“, he spat at the two of you as you walked back inside.

Ouija saw the broken look on your face and from that point, there was no way in hell that she was ever going to leave your side. She felt protective of you suddenly, she wanted to rip that guard’s head off, no, she wanted to choke him until his words got stuck in his fucking throat for ever talking to you in that way.

She wanted to shield you from any and all bad things in this place. She wanted you to herself, wanted no one fucking near you, except for her. Her hand grabbed your shoulder tighter.

She stood in front of you, so you were facing her. Butterflies erupted in her stomach as your gaze met hers. Your eyes were so beautiful. You were slightly looking up to her, as Ouija was a bit taller than you.

„Hey, yo, are you okay, mama? That guard was pretty rough on you“, she asked you, her voice soft as velvet. Tears threatened to spill from your eyes, but Ouija wasn’t letting that happen. She grabbed your chin, caressing your cheek with her thumb.

„Yo, no crying, pretty woman, we’ve already had enough of that today.“

„I love that movie“, you chuckled slightly, wiping your eyes with the sleeves of your shirt.

„Pretty Woman? White poor woman fucks rich white man and falls in love? Nah, that shit’s too predictable.“

„Exactly. One already knows how the movie ends, but I still like it“

Ouija scoffed, ruffling your hair. She leads you back to your dorm, glaring at Epps as the bald-headed woman was about to harass you again. Epps backed up with raised hands, whispering:

„I wasn’t even about to do anything...“

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

You were casually walking to the showers, towel and toiletries in hand. It was 5am in the morning, so the line wasn't long.

You had gotten up early for the hot water, your bunkmate Epps complaining that you were making too much noise, disrupting her very important sleep. There were only 2 hours until she had to get up anyway. Epps luckily hadn’t bothered you too much the past few days, thanks to Ouija, who had given her death glares whenever the two of you had been hanging around each other, which had been quite often. You had spent most of your time with her, she had helped you settle into the prison and made you laugh almost all the time. You had been there for her during all the announcements she got from the hospital about her son and celebrated with her when the doctor told her that he was going to be okay.

You hadn’t really gotten acquainted with any of the other women at the prison, as every time you tried to talk to one of them, you felt Ouija’s glare on the both of you or you got pulled away from the other person because she suddenly „needed to talk to you very urgently“. Of course you knew that she was jealous somehow, even though she had no reason to be. One of the times when she had dragged you away, the two of you had gone to the chapel. Ouija hadn’t said anything as she had taken your hand and pulled you along with her.

She had lifted you onto the stage, where performances or speeches were given, but kept standing on the ground herself. She still stayed silent as she locked eyes with you and slowly ran one of her hands up your thigh. She leaned in a little bit when her hand reached the waistband of your pants, her eyes on your lips. You could basically feel the electricity sizzling between the two of you. It was like the two of you were always meant to end up so close to each other, like this. Your foreheads were already touching, your lips barely inches away from each other, when the door to the chapel slammed shut and the both of you immediately flew off of each other. Pidge was calling for Ouija, telling her that Maria was calling a meeting. Ouija, frustrated, promising you she would be back for you, „continuing where you left of“. And now you were here.

You stepped into one of the shower cabinets, turning on the shower head.

You sighed as the warm water washed over your body, immediately making you sleepy again. You hadn’t slept really well with that racist woman Epps beneath you. You never knew what she might do and you always had to sleep with one eye open. It was exhausting and definitely took a strain on your body.

"Mornin', muñequita."

You turned around to the voice, looking directly into Ouija's eyes. She looked a little sleepy, but her half-closed eyes were still roaming your body, drinking in your frame. With just a look, she was able to to make you sweat, blush, avoid her gaze… it was nerve-wracking. With a towel wrapped around your body, you stepped outside of the shower and towards the fully dressed Ouija.

"Hey there“, you answered, yawning.

"How you doing, mama?"

"I'm good, a little tired still." She nodded understandingly.

"Glad my pretty girl is doing well", she smiled, leaning against the wall.

You blushed a little and looked to your feet, trying to hide your reddened cheeks.

"Yo, come over here, mama", she beckoned.

You looked left and right to check if anyone was there who could possibly see you before you moved out of the shower cabin and over to where Ouija was standing.

As soon as you were standing in front of her Ouija grabbed your shoulders and pulled you close, wrapping her arms around your lower torso. She pressed a kiss to your forehead, allowing you to rest your head on her chest.

„Y/N?“

„Yeah?“

„I wanted to say thanks for the time you found me..you know, crying, and comforted me and shit. I didn’t deserve that and I’m still a shit mom, but I talked to my son on the phone and...he’s coming to visitation next week“

You squealed in excitement, jumping up a little bit, so excited for Ouija.

„Ouija, that’s great! I’m so happy for you!“

You wrapped your arms around her neck , embracing her in a hug.

Ouija grabbed you by your hips and switched positions so that now you were pressed against the wall. Both of her hands were placed next to your head while yours were busy holding up that towel of yours.

„You’re so cute when you’re happy, you know that?“, Ouija asked, biting her bottom lip. She leaned in closer, taking your face inbetween her hands. Your eyes closed in anticipation, ready to finally connect with her, to finally feel the full extent of the electricity between you too. She leaned in, leaned in, you started feeling dizzy of her scent, of her presence...

BANG! The metal door to the showers slammed shut, loud voices coming from the doorway. Ouija immediately let go of you, distancing herself, and as some of the other inmates walked past you and entered the showers, you tried to act as nothing had happened before. You exchanged a frustrated glance with her, were you ever going to be able to kiss?

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

It was your bunkmate Epps' birthday and she made like this whole deal out of it. Almost everyone in this prison was invited, including you and Ouija and almost every single lesbian which was weird, since Epps was definitely homophobic.

But she and her friends did know how to throw a party, you had to leave her that. There was a snack bar with drinks, a dance floor and colorful garlands reading "happy birthday".

You had just entered the overfilled room, completely overwhelmed, not knowing what to do or where to stand or where to sit. You were looking around for Ouija, finding her in a corner of the room, next to Pidge and Zirconia.

She was staring down everyone in the room, a grumpy expression on her face. You know how frustrated she had been the past few days, you were about to kiss two times, but always had been interrupted by one of the other inmates. Privacy was basically non-existent in prison and by now, the two of you were so desperate to kiss, you almost felt like two pathetic lesbian teenage girls.

You were walking towards her, pushing through the crowd, and as you approached them, Zirconia noticed you, her face lighting up.

"Y/N! Hi!", she exclaimed happily.

Ouija's head immediately snapped in your direction and her entire demeanor changed. Her grumpy face disappeared, her eyes lit up and a smile spread across her lips.

"Well, yo, look who showed up!", she said, genuinely happy to see you.

You smiled at her and Pidge.

You looked around for a chair to pull up next to the group, but of course, every single one was taken. This did not go unnoticed by Ouija and she certainly did not seem too unhappy about this fact as her smirk widened.

"Come, muñeca, you can sit here", she said, pointing to her man spread legs. Damn, you thought, really really wanting to, but not being sure if it might be risky. You looked around to see if anyone was looking except for Zirconia and Pidge, but everyone was too focused on themselves to even slightly care about the two of you. And even so, you didn’t care.

You lowered yourself onto her lap and immediately felt her arms tightly wrap around your torso.

„Good girl, put those pretty thighs on me“, she whispered in your ear, her hand stroking your leg softly. Your eyes widened, the familiar blush spreading on your cheeks. „Mi amor, mio todo mio“, (my love, mine all mine) she mumbled, placing a kiss on your shoulder.

The evening progressed without anyone even looking at you. You sat on Ouija’s lap the entire time, wondering how it wasn’t taking a strain on her legs, conversing with her, Zirconia and Pidge. You did not once go to the buffet because you were so immersed in the conversation you were having with them but nevertheless, you were thirsty.

„I’ll just get something to drink really quick, do you want anything?“, you said to Ouija, hopping off of her lap.

„Nah, I’m good, thanks though“

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

You were standing at the bar, deciding what drink you were going to get, not that there were a lot of options, this was prison after all. Possibilities weren’t exactly endless.

„Hi there“, a voice greeted you, coming out of nowhere.

You jumped, letting out a little shriek.

„Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you“, the woman next to you said worriedly, but you only laughed.

„It’s fine, I get scared easily.“

„You’re new here right?“, she asked, tilting her head in curiosity.

„Yeah, I arrived here about two weeks ago, so my stay hasn’t exactly been long“

„Ah, so a newbie. That’s why I haven’t seen you around.“

You nodded, conversing in a little small talk with her. You already felt Ouija staring at you, knowing it was because of her protective and posessive nature, but you also wanted friends in here. You needed other people that you could rely on.

The woman, who turned out to be called Carla was telling you funny stories about other prisons she had been at and interactions she had with other inmates there and here at Litchfield.

You laughed loudly, finding her absolutely hilarious. While you and the woman were joking around, Ouija was boiling with anger and jealousy. She tried to keep her cool, „take a fucking chill pill“, like Zirconia had advised her. But it was really hard when she hadn’t even kissed you yet, didn’t even get to call you hers yet. Maybe the possibility of somebody else still being able to snatch you away was giving her the nerves. Maybe she would be more relaxed if she knew you were really hers.

Maybe. But right now, she just wanted to get you the fuck away from that other woman.

As you kept talking with Carla, you felt her put her hand on your waist.

„Um…“, you mumbled, looking over to Ouija. That was Carmen Aziza’s last straw. Nobody would touch her girl, not like that.

She stormed over to where you were standing and pushed the other woman off of you and to the ground where she landed with a loud bang. She stood over the woman, placing her thick boot onto her chest, compromising her airways.

„Touch her again and yo“, she laughed bitterly, „I’ll fuck you up“.

Before you could properly register what was happening, you felt yourself being grabbed by the wrist and pulled away. You didn’t know where you were going, as you were still finding your way around the prison, when you reached the door to the library. It was completely silent, the only sound being you getting pushed against one of the shelves.

Ouija stood in front of you, placing one of her hands beside your head. She used the other one to harshly grab your chin, lifting it up so you were looking at her. Her facial expression was one of anger, jealousy and displeasement.

„I don’t know who that other woman thinks she is, but she better know that you’re mine. Ever since you stepped into the walls of this prison, shit, I knew I had to have you. You're mine, amorcita. You're all mine and yo, guess what? I ain't about fucking sharing. I can’t hide how I feel about you anymore, munequita. Not when 1000 other bitches are this close to you every day. I love you.“

Ouija’s face was full of worry, anticipation of what you thought of her confession, if you felt the same.

„I’m yours“, you said, breathless, and that was all it took for Ouija to smash her lips against you and press you further into the wooden shelves. Her scent intoxicated you, all you saw, smelled, heard, touched was her. She was your whole world and you were hers. Her warm body was pressing into yours, her hands were roaming your body, diving underneath your shirt. Finally, you could do what you waited so long for. Her hands were in your hair, her tongue was dancing with yours. You forgot that you were in prison, you forgot about the world around you.

All there was, was you and her. Your love, yours all yours.

134 notes · View notes

meadowofdarts · 1 year

Text

A Play of Vigorous Wisdom (PART TWO)

Interdarshan Championship Event x Reader (Genshin 3.6) Scaramouche/Wanderer x Reader

Here is part two everyone! I am so sorry this took a while because I've been having writer's block and was having a hard time with my schedule and all. But, I now have the motivation to write and I hope that it will stay so I can write everything including the bonus before version 3.7 comes out.

Thank you for the support in part one!

PART ONE, PART TWO, PART THREE

BONUS: -Fighting For The Diadem (Cyno, Tighnari, Kaveh, Layla, Faruzan)

Enjoy!

//////

After immediately encountering Layla, you got word from the Akademiya students talking about how intense was the first round, which you now assumed officially ended.

And some students were also predicting the second round already. The second round will come in two days, so every participant has free time.

You were walking around the streets of Sumeru, passing by the ongoing busy roads as the sunset was in place. Your lover said he had urgent business to do. It was weird, but you didn't question it since he's already strange enough. But now that he's gone, you were incredibly bored and basically had nothing to do until he was done.

You thought taking a walk around the city would help, and you could get invested in one of the shops or booths. But, it did not work. If people would've focused on you, they would think you have overworked yourself or something.

You did play a few booths of the Wisdom Gala, but most had completely drained your energy already as some you were struggling to do in their first rounds. It was only the first round of their booths before they released more minigames of their events.

What else can you do? You need entertainment right now. That's what was running through your mind before you stumbled upon Lambad's Tavern. You stood staring at it and decided that maybe a little food would boost you up.

You entered the place, and the relaxing yet delightful music played as soon as you entered. The tavern this time was much busier than before. You see that most of them are Akademiya students. You wondered if it had anything to do with the festival this year.

You stood as you were in line to order. You were staring at your fingernails, not paying attention to anything until you heard someone say your name.

"(Name)?" A voice called behind you. You turned around surprised at seeing someone familiar.

"Oh, hey Tighnari!" You smiled at him.

"I didn't expect to run into you here," He smiled back. "Even though we saw each other, we haven't had a chance to catch up. How are you?"

"Oh, I'm doing good!" You replied. "How about you? Oh, and how's Collei?"

"I'm fine, and she's doing wonderful ever since her recovery."

Tighnari was the Amurta representative in the championship earlier. But you knew him way before that.

You met Tighnari way back when you arrived for the first time in Sumeru. As the new region felt new to you, you spotted Gandharva Ville nearby, and Tighnari allowed you to stay for a while. You two hit off very well and became acquaintances to good friends quickly. When you felt like you overstayed your welcome, you bid goodbye to him and haven't seen him since.

"So, what are you doing here?" Tighnari asked you.

"Oh, I'm just here for a snack. I've been so bored and tired lately that I thought food might help me." You replied. "What about you?"

"Oh, I'm just waiting for a friend of mine. We just plan on eating here." He answered. But then he spoke again, "Would you like to join us?"

You were surprised. "Huh? But won't you friend mind?"

As if on cue, a white gray-haired male with red eyes came in and walked up to the forest ranger. "Tighnari, there you are. Sorry, I'm late. I just had to finish off some duties."

"It's fine. I just arrived too." He replied.

Cyno then noticed you with a curious look. "Hm? Who's this?"

You sheepishly waved at him as Tighnari introduced you. "Oh, this is (Name), a good friend I'm just catching up with."

Cyno eyed you and stated. "I know you. You're one of Vahumana's representatives earlier in the Championship."

"Heh, yeah, and your Spantamad's representative." You smiled. "Nice to meet you."

"You too." He lightly smiled back.

"Cyno, you wouldn't mind if (Name) sits with us, right?" Tighnari said. "It's just that we haven't seen each other in a while, and I figured this might be a good opportunity to catch up with them. If you're fine with it, of course."

Cyno answered. "No problem, I don't mind at all."

You were nervous sitting with Cyno. You've heard from your friends in Vahumana that the General Mahamatra was terrifying with his cold expression, especially if you defy or combat him. But, to you, he seems like a calm person who didn't mind anything regarding his friends. You did hear that one of your friends said that despite his look, he is a humorous guy around which confused you more.

The three of you sat at a table and ordered your guys' food.

"So, (Name), how has Sumeru been?" Tighnari asked.

"Oh, it's absolutely amazing!" You smiled. "Everything around is truly beautiful and different than any other nation I've been through. Tighnari, I am still thankful for you taking me in when I arrived."

He smiled. "Really, it's no problem at all."

Tighnari then spoke out a random question. "Hey, if you don't mind me asking this and forgive me if this is wrong, but... Is 'Hat Guy' your boyfriend you mentioned?"

You stared at him wide-eyed. "What the!? How- You haven't met him yet!"

"It wasn't that difficult to know," He smirked. "It was obvious how lovey-dovey you both were before in the championship."

You were about to retort something until a waiter came in and served the dishes you ordered.

"Say, (Name)," Cyno stared making you look up at him. "Tell me a bit about yourself."

You turned surprised but smiled and told a bit to Cyno, intending to know each other.

...

For the next few hours: you, Tighnari, and Cyno chatted happily in the busy tavern. While catching up with the forest ranger, you immediately got along well with the mahamatra.

"So you don't play TCG?" Cyno asked with bewilderment.

You chuckled. "Well, I do; I got many card collections and decks. But I don't play so much anymore."

"Hmph, I see. Would you be interested in dueling against me?"

"Hmm, sure, I don't mind. But maybe another time."

"Hey," Tighnari chimed in. "Don't tell me you brought your card decks. Seriously, it's like you bring them everywhere with you."

"Well, it's necessary if I find a worthy opponent," Cyno smirked as the male beside him sighed. You sweat-dropped.

"I... I'm not surprised anymore, especially when you were at the cat's tail all day back in Mondstadt's festival and signed up for the championship just for the TCG card." Tighnari shot him a pointed look.

"Now, don't look at me with that card-oed look on your face."

"That joke didn't even make sense."

"Do you want an expla-"

"No."

You chuckled at their bickering but thanked Tighnari for sparing you from Cyno's jokes. You felt an overwhelming feeling of awkwardness when he told off his bad jokes earlier at the table.

You look at the watch in your hand out of habit, then notice how late you stayed in the tavern. Even though the tavern was fully crowded. But you knew you had to get home soon or you'll be suffering from your lover's questioning.

It wasn't anything bad; it's just him being concerned and scolding you. But you don't know if you have the energy to bicker him with today.

"Hey guys," You said. "I'm sorry, but I have to go now."

Tighnari put his attention on you. 'Oh, no worries. It is late after all. I'm glad we got to catch up, (Name)."

"Me too," You thanked, then said to Cyno. "I enjoy talking with you too, Cyno."

"It's no problem," Cyno reassured. "It was nice meeting you too."

You stood up. "Well then, I guess I'll see you soon in the second round of the championship then."

"Indeed, we will see you later." Cyno smiled. You smiled back.

You waved two of your friends goodbye as you walked out of a tavern, being greeted by the cold breeze wind the moment your foot was outside.

After that, you immediately speed-walked on the route back to your home, hugging yourself as it was cold at night. You hoped Wanderer wasn't there yet. But while walking home, you simply imagined you and your boyfriend bickering already.

...

You peeked your head to the main room of your house, seeing that no inch of blue or black and white clothing of Wanderer here. You turned, seeing nothing; everything was just where they were when you left earlier. The house was completely empty. Which means he wasn't here yet.

You silently cheered and thanked the Archons that Wanderer wasn't home. You fully entered the room, closing the front door behind you.

You immediately jumped into the couch and slumped on it, catching a bit of your breath.

'Oh god, it was so cold.' You silently yelled as you still felt the chilly wind from outside. You didn't focus on anything until you hear a voice you wished you didn't want to hear right now.

"Well, well, well, you took your time coming home."

You froze at the voice. You were screaming inside about how the hell did he get home first.

You slowly turn and see at the corner of your eyes his figure leaning against a wall, with his arms crossed and a malicious smirk on his face.

"Uhh, hi?" You muttered with a sweaty uneasy smile. "How... are you?"

You were doomed.

He didn't say anything. He just hummed in response. The silence between you two wasn't making it any helpful.

He walked towards you while his expression remained the same. You put your head down and sighed tiredly but prepared for what he had to say.

But you didn't expect him to sit down next to you, pull you into his arms, and he leaned you onto his chest. His body was on the couch, hugging you from behind as you were seated between his legs, holding his arms with his hands, still surprised.

You weren't expecting it, but you enjoyed it anyway. You closed your eyes as you both enjoyed a peaceful moment of warmth together. After a few moments, you opened your eyes, making eye contact with the man behind you.

"What's this for?" You softly murmured.

He stared, then replied. "I'm tired too. I just want you right now. I won't bother with the lecture today; you already know what I'll be saying anyway."

You softened at his tone and warmth. You learned more as you closed your eyes, smiling. He glanced down at you and smiled as he embraced you tighter. He places a soft kiss on your head.

...

[TWO DAYS LATER]

It was now the second round of the Interdarshan Championship. The venue for the second round is in the desert's Aaru Village. All of the contestants had already gathered and chatted as we waited for the next game to start soon.

You stood leaning up against the venue's pillar, closing your eyes as you rested a bit before the round.

You were interrupted when you heard footsteps coming to you. You opened one of your eyes to see Wanderer coming to you.

You raised an eyebrow, but then he leaned and whispered in your ear. "Let's start investigating later, okay?"

You nodded your head as he leaned back out. You glance to the contestants and already see that the Traveler is here.

"Looks like everyone's here." Alhaitham stood up, gaining everyone's attention. "I will now explain the second round to you all."

"There are three Ley Line Disruptors buried in the area around Aaru Village. These devices can imitate the effects of Ley Line disruption and will constantly interfere with the environment. Your goal is to shut them down."

"The first three who manage the finish this task will be awarded four, three, two points, accordingly. Note that each person may only bring a set amount of food and water with them, and that leaving the designated competition zone will result in disqualification."

Everyone immediately started talking to each other and went ahead to go enter the zone.

...

"Ugh, it's so hot." You groaned as you and Wanderer walked around.

"This is even more annoying than the last round." He grumbled. "Whatever, let's just rest for a while and watch everyone scurry."

You both sat down on the sand. You turned to him. "How are you not hot!? You are literally wearing a jacket."

"Did you forget or are you dumb? I'm a puppet. Besides, why are you even whining? I am none of your concern right now." He rolled his eyes.

...

"AH!" You screamed.

Wanderer looked at you with a confused expression. "What?"

"Oh gosh," You said, holding your chest. "That tumbleweed scared me."

"How do you get scared by a tumbleweed?"

"When they go near and hit you, duh."

...

After examining every other participant, you and Wanderer went next to Tighnari to obverse him like the others. You finally find him, but the Traveler and Paimon are also there.

You guys listened in and learned that Tighnari fainted due to the heat. But it seemed that he had finished all of his water.

You focus on them only until you see your boyfriend going up to them and revealing himself.

'What the heck is he doing?' Either way, you decided to follow him

"Humans, such fragile beings," Wanderer chimed as everyone turned to him and see you next to him. "Your bodies can't even survive extreme changes in the environment."

The Traveler raised an eyebrow. "And you considered yourself strong?"

Wanderer ignored them but pulled out one of our waters. "Here, take this. Let him drink it."

Both of the traveling companions raised an eyebrow, but the Traveler took the water from him regardless.

Wanderer walks away, but you stay still. He turns to you. "Let's go."

"Actually," You said. "Is it alright if I stay with them for a while?"

He gave you a confused look. So you said. "It'll only be a minute. I'll just make sure that Tighnari is in good condition."

He hummed and eyed you and him. "Hmm, alright. Don't take too long. Do you know where to find me?"

You nodded.

"Good." Before he went on, you came up behind him and gave him a quick hug and a kiss on his cheek.

He was surprised but grinned. "See you."

"Bye!" You waved as Wanderer left.

You turned to the group to see Tighnari drinking the water already.

After he had finished, you approached the forest ranger. "Are you alright now?"

"I'm feeling a little better now. Thanks." Tighnari said.

You were about to say something else until another voice came in.

"Found you at last." Cyno walked in.

"Cyno! You're here too!" Paimon exclaimed.

"I was concerned, so I came back to check on you." He stated. "Will you be able to go on?

"The fur on my tail is so dry it's practically been singed right off. I don't see any purpose in pushing myself beyond what is reasonable." Tighnari shook his head. "It appears I'm not suited to this particular round - I should probably just return to Aaru Village and rest."

"Really? So you're backing out?" Paimon asked.

He nodded. "Yes. I do have my results in the first round to serve as a buffer, so even if I forfeit this round, I still have a chance to turn things around later. Withdrawing now will allow me to conserve my energy. Continuing to push onward would be counterproductive."

"That's good, Tighnari," You smiled. "I'm glad that you're not pushing yourself or anything like that."

"A wise decision," Cyno agreed. "Let's get you back to Aaru Village."

"Ugh... It's fine, I can make it back on my own." Tighnari groaned.

Paimon exclaimed. "Oh, stop trying to be so polite. Come on, we'll help you back to Aaru Village!"

...

Everyone entered a cave that was a quick way to enter Aaru Village.

"How are you feeling now, Tighnari?" Paimon asked. "Do you want to rest some more?"

"There's some shade here, so we can stop for a while," Cyno suggested. Tighnari agreed to it.

Everyone kept walking in the area further until they saw a familiar Rtawahist figure.

"Oh, Cyno, Tighnari, and (Name)... and you've got the Traveler and Paimon with you!"

"Hello, Layla," You greeted her with a warm smile.

"The sun was too strong, so I decided to take cover here for a while," Layla muttered. "What about you? Are you all done already?"

Tighnari shook his head in response. "Unfortunately not. I'm not quite as capable as I thought… I intend to withdraw from this round. Cyno, (Name), and the Traveler are escorting me back to Aaru Village."

"W-Withdraw? Can you even do that?" Layla asked surprised.

"Yes, you can if you want to." You answered. "Alhaitham says leaving and returning to Aaru Village is a disqualification of the second round."

"Didn't I ask if you were already before this? If you had just decided to withdraw then, you wouldn't have had to suffer." Cyno said to Tighnari.

He replied. "Well, I had to try, didn't I? So I tried, and it didn't work out - and now I'm backing out while I can."

As they were conversing with each other, you noticed Layla looking a bit troubled.

"Layla, is something wrong?" You asked.

"Oh, uh-" Layla stuttered. "No, it's just I feel a little faint when I entered the desert. But I feel a lot better after resting here for a while."

"Be careful not to push yourself too hard!" Paimon reminded.

"Don't worry, I'm just..." Layla paused.

Cyno finished her sentence. "Feeling the pressure?"

"Huh? You can tell?"

"Your expression is similar to the ones I see on criminals' faces when I interrogate them."

Layla sighed. "To tell you the truth, I'm not sure whether I have what it takes to represent the Rtawahist Darshan in the Championship."

She tells how people voted for her as the representative because of the rumors about me, and Layla then tells she doesn't know how to deal with their expectations. Many and even people who criticize her voted for her, so she felt like she had to live up to their expectations.

"So, their expectations are putting pressure on you?" Tighnari clarified.

She nodded in silence.

"Hmm, I see," You started as she turned to you. "I understand your situation, it's understandable to feel this way, Layla."

"But, I'm going to say this. Having a lot of pressure on yourself isn't good because then you won't be able to achieve anything. People obviously have their reasons to vote for you, but I think the people from your Darshan who do care about you wouldn't want you to be put under pressure. It's important to not push yourself."

Layla stared at you in surprise.

Tighnari spoke up. "I agree. We are researchers. Our primary duty is to interact with knowledge, not to meet others' expectations."

"Even though I got voted as well, I decided to take part in this competition to advertise for an academic lecture at Gandharva Ville next month. I'll obviously try my best during the competition, but I won't let any additional pressure get to me."

"I think you can also try to find a clearly defined goal. That may help you." He finished.

Layla nodded. "I understand. Thanks for your pieces of advice."

"Phew... I'm absolutely parched after talking so much." Tighnari sweatdropped.

" I've still got some water with me." Cyno offered.

His friend shook his head. "No, I'll be alright. We aren't far from Aaru Village, so I can go the rest of the way myself. You should get back to the competition. Don't you want to win that limited-edition card?"

"Yes. Alright then, your spirit will live on through me."

"...Hey, don't talk like that. I'm not dead, Cyno." Tighnari shot him an annoyed look.

"Everyone, I'll be heading back now. See you after the round ends." He said before walking away to Aaru Village.

Cyno walked in the opposite direction. "I'll continue searching for the Ley Line Disruptors."

"Hmm, well, it seems I should head back." You said. "I'll see you guys later."

"Hey, (Name)," Layla said. You turned to her. "Thank you. For what happened in the first round, and thank you for your advice."

You chuckled. "It's no problem. I hope you'll feel better, Layla."

You waved the three goodbyes as you made your way back to the competition grounds.

...

After a while, you found Wanderer at the west entrance of Aaru Village. He was looking at the scenery, seeming to be deep in thought.

"Hey," You said skipping over to him, while he turns to look at you.

"Oh, good. You're here." Wanderer crossed his arms. "Listen, since we don't have any leads, I figured we can ask people about that incident. I think we should start in Aaru Village."

"Hmm, do you think they would know something about it?" You asked.

"Well, it's not guaranteed they would know exactly, but we can try asking and we could learn a bit about what happened-" Wanderer stopped his sentence as he sees something behind you.

You turned to see the Traveler and Paimon coming towards you. Wow, it's like they're everywhere and have incredible free time to check up on every contestance one by one.

Paimon exclaimed. "Looks like someone's taking it easy!"

"You should be thrilled that we have nothing to do. Otherwise, that means someone's in for a very, very bad day." He smirked.

"But if you guys don't get any points this round, you won't have a shot at winning!"

You shrugged. "Well, we really don't have intentions to win."

Wanderer added. "Really, the real prize for me is watching all these people fight over something so useless. Oh, you've reminded us of something. There shouldn't be any more incidents after this round. If you'll excuse us, we have somewhere to be."

You and Wanderer walked away, leaving the Traveler and Paimon dumbfounded.

...

You guys entered Aaru Village by passing the sub-venue. Alhaitham and Nilou seemed to notice you two entering and took note that both of you had forfeited like Tighnari.

You and Wanderer entered the area of the village that is near the Village Chief's house. The two of you split up around Aaru Village to ask as many people as possible.

You briefly asked the villagers nearby but found nobody seemed to know anything. But someone did tell you that a guy named 'Huvishka' knows something about a past championship twenty years ago.

You finally found the said person. You asked what he thought of this year's Interdarshan Championship.

Huvishka tells you that he was rooting for Cyno because of his skills as the General Mahamatra and that the Spantamad Darshan has the highest percentage of champions. But during his sentence, he mentioned that the most exciting competition was still 'twenty years ago.'

You asked about that championship twenty years ago.

"At that time, my friend also participated in the game, and I went there to cheer for him. The last round was played in Avidya Forest. In the end, no one dared to approach them, and no one knew what was going on in the depths of the forest…" He tells you.

"Then I heard the Akademiya shut down the competition. Later, the Interdarshan Championship removed many of the events in which people fought to the death, discouraging people from being desperate enough to do so."

"So, what was your friend like?" You asked.

"Let me think. He's honest and kind, but he's also vulnerable and sensitive. Most of all, he cares about us. When we drink together, our time is filled with laughter and cheer." He answered. "It's just too bad that it's all in the past now. Among the friends we drank with, some died, some disappeared, some now live in seclusion… They say fate is fickle. Perhaps it's true."

You hummed, gathering and taking note of the information you had just received.

...

"Deserts are much more dangerous at night, so this competition should be nearing its end. At the moment, only Faruzan, Layla, and Kaveh remain," said Alhaitham.

Nilou muttered. "I wonder who the next person to find a disruptor will be..."

"Wait, only three people are left? Tighnari forfeited, and Cyno's already done… What about (Name) and Hat Guy?" Paimon questioned.

"They also forfeited not long ago," Alhaitham answered.

Paimon groaned. "Paimon can't understand what they're thinking at all... But like Alhaitham said — the round's almost over. Let's go see what the other contestants are doing!"

...

You and Wanderer met back near the Village Chief's house and told each other about what you learned from the villagers. Wanderer says he hasn't had that much information as he states that nobody seemed to know anything related to the incident.

You tell him about your conversation with Huvishka.

"Hmph, I see. Twenty years ago..." Wanderer muttered.

"We didn't get that much information than we hoped, but at least we have some sort of lead." You said. "Now what should we do?"

"Ugh, this desert isn't too much to my liking. Let's just leave." He suggested.

"Huh? Can we leave?"

"Well, we gave up this round, remember? Why couldn't we leave if we have nothing to do now?" He stated. "Besides, didn't you say that Amurta's representative drop out this round? Well, he's not here anymore, so he probably left too."

"Hm, I guess." You muttered.

...

It was now nighttime, and you heard briefly that the championship had officially ended the second round, and the final round would commence in two days.

You hear that Cyno and Layla have taken first place while the rest in descending are Tighnari, Faruzan, Kaveh, and you and your boyfriend.

You know well that neither of you can't be winners. But whoever the winner will be decided in the third and final round.

And during this time, you and Wanderer found out a bit about the incident twenty years ago, so you both consider it a benefit from the competition.

After you guys left, you both went to your shared home back in Sumeru City. Since the desert was very far away from there, you guys arrived when nighttime came in. But you both didn't care.

...

Wanderer's lips were on yours as his tongue danced with yours. You forgot what happened, but after arriving in your shared house, you and Wanderer are locked in a make-out.

He pinned you up with his hand pressed against the wall, and his other hand was behind, holding your neck. You had one of your hands on the side of his cheek while your other hand was caressing the back of his head.

Every time you pull away for only a second, you and he pull each other back in a heated kiss. His lips were all over your face, but he was mainly on your lips.

After a while, you felt tired so you pulled him back by grabbing his shoulders. He focused his attention on you.

"Okay, that's enough," You smiled.

He raised an eyebrow. "I'm not done yet."

You playfully rolled your eyes, as you walked away from him to the kitchen, ignoring his calls to you.

...

(author: idk what i did at the make-out scene - btw i do suggestive themes, but not full on smut so don't ask for that lol)

See you guys in part three!

taglist: @etherisy, @fanfictionenthusiast, @melobee, @cattycattitude, @timeofsilversstuff, @yourfuturebaee, @lifelesscloud, @sketcheeee, @godsblesstheboii, @swivy123, @that-mom-friend, @julia-scribbles, @llunariese, @seirenspinel, @anggurz, @stormyenglish-23, @inferisk0, @paracosm-life, @mochisgf, @fabimaou, @yuyukami, @kaocia, @sharkdays, @miyakoa, @vvyeislazzy

(People without an underline I can't tag, I'm sorry)

175 notes · View notes

lilylollipops · 7 months

Note

could you write something fem!reader x lily evans where reader and james grow up together and are best friends but reader has a crush on lily and james tells her about his feelings for lily and begins his whole declaring his love for her all around the school and reader has to keep her feelings secret because she doesn’t want to hurt james and doesn’t know if lily likes girls or not?

you can decide whether lily reciprocates readers feelings or not i don’t mind either way, it can be angst and/or fluff 🙂

thanks 🙏🦀

absolutely loved this request! battled insane writer’s block but here it is! thank you for waiting patiently my lovelies! <333

pairings: lily evans x reader, james potter x reader (platonic), marauders x reader (platonic)

warnings: unreciprocated feelings (james and lily), misunderstandings (very brief!!), coming out, purposeful lowercase, she/her pronouns used for reader, no (y/n)

james was my best friend and i’d never have it any other way—not that i’d ever have a choice. our parents were best friends and so we had been too, ever since we were in diapers. so when we got on the hogwarts express together, we promised that we’d stick together no matter what. and we have, along with sirius, remus, and peter. they’re like my second family.

so you can imagine how conflicted i felt when lily evans entered the picture. from the second i laid eyes on her, i knew she was gonna ruin me. her red hair that always perfectly framed her face, her piercing green eyes, and her heart stopping smile. lily evans was my dream girl.

but, apparently, james and i shared not only everything else in our lives, but also our taste in girls because the moment he saw her, he fell in love. we sat at the gryffindor table with our new friends when suddenly james pointed down the table. “look! do you all see her?”

sirius, remus, peter, and i craned our heads to get a good look. i smiled, seeing the girl i had run into earlier on the train. she was really nice and had pointed to me to where we’re supposed to change after complimenting my necklace. i did my best not to blush now that i had sighted her again. “i’m gonna marry her one day!” james declared. i did my best to laugh along with the boys as i felt my heart—which had been leaping a moment ago—now breaking.

still, james saw right through me. “hey, what’s wrong?” he asked, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. “oh, uh, nothing just a hair in my treacle tart.” i rushed out the first lie i could think of. the boys’ faces fell into disgust as they laughed at my misfortune. as they finally started settling down, i hoped this had been enough to change the subject. my hopes were quickly squashed as james excused himself to talk to the red headed girl.

i tried not to focus on their conversation, james being boisterous to try and keep her attention as she curtly introduced herself and began pointedly ignoring his attempts to flirt with her. i was so lost in thought that i had to be steered around by sirius as a prefect led us to the gryffindor common room. “are you alright?” he asked, leaning in close to my ear from behind me so that we wouldn’t disrupt everyone else. i nodded sharply, murmuring back, “just tired, long day.”

and with perfect timing, we were shown the way to boys and girls’ dorms. finally, the prefect dismissed us as he went off to join his friends at the chess table. i bade the boys good night, giving james an extra long hug, before making my way up the stairs. i froze when i saw the girl from before standing at the door, examining the names on the plaque. mine was on there. i gulped at the possibility that we’d be sharing a dorm for the next seven years. she spotted me as i inched forward, a friendly grin lighting up her face. “hi, you again! i’m lily and i suppose since you’re standing here, we’re going to be dorm mates!” she introduced herself excitedly.

i could practically feel my heart melting. i introduced myself in turn, my face flushing as she disregarded my offered hand to pull me into a hug. “sorry, you’re just one of the first friends i’ve made here. i’m really relieved to be sharing a room with someone i know.” lily said, tucking her hair behind her ear. i only smiled in response, so endeared by her that i could hardly breathe. together, we entered our dorm, and i couldn’t have even begun to fathom how troubling the next few years would be for me.

as the years progressed, i grew closer with both lily and the little group james and i had found, we now called ourselves the marauders. and james was still in love with lily.

when i would hang out with lily and our other friends, dorcas and marlene, it wasn’t long until james would come strutting over to attempt to woo her. anywhere you could possibly think of—studying in the library, relaxing under the trees on the grounds, laughing together in the common room. lily would roll her eyes, shoot a snide remark his way, and leave.

one day, it was just lily and i sitting under a willow on the grounds. her head rested in my lap as she read me a book by a muggle author called the picture of dorian gray. i was quite enjoying it and lily was happy to be able to have someone to talk to about her favorite books. i ran my hands carefully through her hair, watching as students milled about.

i couldn’t help the grimace that passed over my face when i saw the marauders coming our way, james in the lead. lately, it seemed like lily was more amused by him than anything else. she could even be labeled as receptive. as james’ best friend and pseudo wingwoman, giving him advice about things lily enjoyed and telling him not to make an idiot out of himself, i was thrilled at this progress. but as the girl in love with lily evans, perfect for me in all ways except for that she was more than likely straight, i was heartbroken.

i hadn’t noticed that my fingers stopped their motion until lily was frowning up at me. “everything okay up there?” she asked, moving her hand up to touch mine as she dropped her book open on her chest. “your boyfriend’s on his way.” i mumbled in a sing-song voice. i tried not to feel bitter as she giggled, sitting up and turning her head just as my boys arrived.

“hello boys.” i greeted with a grin. peter waved cheerfully, remus shot me a matching smile, and sirius winked at me from where his chin was perched on remus’ shoulder. james ruffled my hair and attempted to do the same to lily, but she swatted his hand away before he could. “hello my dearest lily, flower of my heart and light of life.” james greeted enthusiastically, dropping to his knees in front of her.

lily smiled and rolled her eyes, moving to sit crisscrossed and letting herself lean back into my chest. with a surprises blink, i moved my hand to rest on her arm and steady her. “hello james, my single most persistent nuisance.” she said with a teasing tone. my heart clenched in my chest and i tried to ignore the nudge peter gave remus, the looks the three shared as she reciprocated.

james smiled triumphantly, locking eyes with me as i gave him a subtle, approving nod. they began making small talk about classes, and remus (and sirius, who was apparently keen on staying attached to him) meandered closer to me to ask how the reading was going. we were in the middle of discussing the book when we were interrupted by james clapping his hands together. “so! as i’m sure you know, lily, this weekend is a hogsmeade trip.” james started.

“here we go.” peter muttered and lily hummed in acknowledgement. “well,” james continued confidently, “we’ve been getting along quite well lately, and i’d really like to get to know you better, so would you like to go to the three broomsticks? with me?” i smiled at him encouragingly, knowing that james really liked lily and really would treat her right. at least if i couldn’t be with her, my best friend would be happy with his dream girl and my dream girl would be happy with someone who loved her as she deserved.

i couldn’t see lily’s face, but my eyebrows shot up as she asked in a genuine tone, “like a date?” i watched james’ face light up as he looked around at all of us to make sure we were hearing this too. this was the first time lily had ever considered one of his proposals. james nodded carefully.

i felt more than heard lily’s sigh. “james, i’m sorry,” she started. we all glanced around at each other. while a rejection was definitely familiar, the genuine sympathy in her voice was foreign. “i can’t go out with you. it’s—god, i really thought you would’ve figured it out by now.” she sounded truly sympathetic and almost regretful. at james’ confused and sad puppy dog face, lily continued.

“i’m not interested—not just not in you, in any guy. i’m a lesbian.” my heart stopped at her words. i felt her tense against me, clearly worried for the reaction of those around us. james’ face had fallen, but he quickly smiled. he placed a gentle hand on her knee. “hey, that’s perfectly alright. i mean, i am a bit disappointed that you won’t be returning my feelings, but you’re cool. i’d like to keep being your friend, if that’s alright?” he asked. lily nodded quickly. “yes, that’s great. i find i actually quite like you when you aren’t trying to ask me out.” she said. i could hear the smile in her voice. james nodded once again and looked at me pleadingly.

i patted lily’s arm as james stood up, and she understood that i had to leave. the boys went ahead of me as i quickly kneeled and grasped her hand. “it was really brave of you and trust me, they’re all perfectly accepting. but i have to go, james—“

“he needs you.” she interrupted softly. i swallowed harshly and nodded. lily stared deeply into my eyes before mumbling, “i wish he could see what he’s had right in front of him this whole time. james would have never been so caught up on me if he had seen how you love him, how lucky he is to have your heart.” she gently tucked a strand of hair blowing in the breeze back behind my ear.

my jaw fell open and i laughed incredulously. “me? love him?” lily nodded, seeming confused at my response. “no, lily, it’s not—i’m like you. james has never been anything but a brother to me.” i rushed out. her eyes widened. “oh.” she breathed, eyes flicking down to my lips. i sat down fully again, closer to her than i’d been a moment before. “yeah, ‘oh.’”

lily’s fingers crept forward to meet mine, resting in the grass, before they climbed up further—up my arm, brushing my hair, resting on my shoulder. “i’ve wished to hear you say those words since our second year.” she giggled. i laughed in disbelief, and soon our foreheads were pressed together as we were both overcome by a fit of laughter. “well, i—i’ve been waiting since first year, since the train, so i believe that makes me the winner.”

lily gasped quietly and i grinned as she tried to compose herself. “the winner, hmm? i suppose that means you’ve earned a prize.” i stared down at her lips before forcing myself to look back into her intoxicating eyes. “i wouldn’t be opposed.” i whispered. lily hummed once more, her hand on my shoulder sliding to cradle the back of my neck as she leaned forward to press her lips to mine.

though i’d been waiting years for this moment, imagining and dreaming up how it would feel, i could’ve never imagined this. a warmth spread through me as our lips moved together in tandem. lily gently pulled me closer with an arm around my waist, and i angled her face to my liking with a gentle hand on her jaw. my brain felt like it was melting out of my ears as she lightly tugged my hair to get me closer. eventually, she pulled away, giggling breathlessly at my pout. “we do need air, you know.” she chastised lightheartedly. “who says?” i whined in response.

then, reality made its unwelcome return. “lily, i need to go to james. i’m sorry, i’ll be back, i promise. it’s just—”

“he’s your best friend. there’s nothing to apologize for, my love. i’ll be here, alright? no matter what. i’ve waited this long, what’s an hour or two more?” lily squeezed my hand in reassurance. i lunged forward to hug her, relishing in her enthused shriek as we tumbled over. “you may just be the best thing that’s ever happened to me, lily evans.” i declared quietly.

lily’s face erupted in a harsh blush and before she could reply, i pressed a last gentle kiss to her lips before sprinting off towards the castle.

dashing through the halls, i was given a wide berth and sympathetic looks; it seemed news of lily’s rejection had spread quickly. i skidded to a stop in front of the fat lady’s portrait, wheezing out the password under her concerned eye. “dear, are you quite sure everything’s alright?”

“yes, yes, please just let me in.” i begged through my gasping breaths. the portrait swung open and i maintained my quick pace until i was met with the door to the boys’ dorm. i knocked quickly and was almost immediately let in by peter. “thank god you’re here, james has been asking for you.” guilt struck deep in my chest as i tried to smile reassuringly at wormtail, knowing how he gets stressed in highly emotional situations.

“oh, don’t sound so relieved, wormy. we’ve got things all under control here!” sirius said, with a playful roll of his eyes. “yeah right.” james said, voice muffled as his head was smushed into his pillow. sirius shrugged from his place next to james on the bed, “alright, we’ve got it mostly under control then.”

remus sighed fondly, shaking his head and tugging sirius off the bed from behind him. “let the james whisperer work her magic.” i nodded in thanks before crawling up the bed to sit level with james’ shoulders. “talk to me, james.” i pleaded, rubbing his back soothingly. he pulled his face out of the pillow, resting it on my knee instead. “i just wish i would’ve known. i must’ve made her so uncomfortable and i’ve spent all this time on her when i never had a chance. i feel so stupid.” he sniffled, reaching up to wipe away a tear that had slipped. “oh james, you’re not stupid. you’ve just got the biggest heart of anyone i know. she’s not upset with you, okay? i promise. now you can move on, and i know that’s not what you’re thinking about right now, but it’s important to hear. there’s someone out there for you that will relish in your love and love you unconditionally in return. you’re gonna be alright, prongs.”

at these words, james’ eyes merely filled with more tears. he pushed himself up and flung his arms around me in a tight hug. i squeezed back just as fiercely, reaching to my fellow marauders to join. we all sat there together for a long while before we all disentangled from each other and lounged on the bed in a comfortable silence. remus tapped my head and i turned to look at him as he gestured to james. i stared in confusion. “tell him about lily. about how you feel for her.” he whispered to me. my eyes widened in shock. “how did you figure it out?” i hissed.

“you look at her the same way he does. the way i look at sirius.” he said with a gentle smile. i took a deep breath, remus squeezing my shoulder supportively, before i poked james for his attention.

“i have to tell you something. and i’m scared, but i think you deserve to know. all of you do.” at this, the rest of the marauders perked up and looked at me. “i, um… well, i like girls too.” there was a brief silence as i looked at my best friends, awaiting their reactions.

remus was the first to break the moment. “thank you for telling us, darling. i’m very proud of you.” he said clearly, reaching from behind to hug me around my shoulders. i sunk back into his embrace, squeezing his arms gratefully in return. sirius leapt up next, completely engulfing me and remus into a tight hug. “it all makes sense now! birds of a feather flock together, eh?” he cheered, ruffling my hair. i laughed, pushing him off.

peter merely shrugged. “i thought we all knew that already, but thank you for telling us.” my jaw dropped as i laughed in shock. he smiled sheepishly, grabbing my hand. my eyes landed on james, who was staring at me with a look i couldn’t discern. “james? is that… is that alright?” i mumbled nervously, playing with the hem of my jumper. “alright? oh, love, of course it is. come here.” he quickly replied, scooting closer to tug me into his arms. we began to rock gently back and forth.

“i was so scared, jamie.” i whispered into his shoulder as my eyes welled with tears. “it’s alright, it’s all okay now. you’re wonderful. don’t ever forget that. nothing to be scared of.” he cooed, going into mother mode. “i was scared because i loved lily too.” i rushed out, squeezing my eyes shut in fear of his response.

the rocking stopped. james didn’t seem to breathe for a moment. then, he pulled me somehow closer, his hand coming to hold the back of my head. “i’m so sorry. i’m so, so sorry.” he cried into my hair. “no, you’ve got nothing to apologize for, why are you sorry james?”

“you never did anything because of me. you didn’t have to give her up, love, i’m sorry.” i merely shook my head in response. i held no ill will towards james for my own decisions. he was my brother, and i’d give anything up to make him happy, even without him asking. suddenly, james lurched back, holding me at arms’ length. “you have to go to her now! she has to know how you feel!” i stared in confusion.

“come on, up!” james cried, pulling me to feet. “what are you on about?” i asked as sirius sprang up to pull me to the door. “you’ve got my blessing, now go tell lily how you feel!” james urged.

“are you sure? you love her—”

james interrupted me with a gentle hand over my mouth, “and i never had a chance. you might. she loves your company, i’ve never seen her look unhappy around you. and you love her too. you’ve given up all these years for my sake, now go be happy.” i grinned and swept james into a tight hug.

“thank you.” i whispered.

“thank me later.” james winked before shoving me out the door and following behind. i practically flew down the stairs, with the marauders all parading behind me and cheering me on. as i stepped into the common room, so did lily, entering through the portrait. she mumbled my name in something like wonder as i continued forward, stopping only when i was right in front of her and grasping her hands.

“hi.” we both said, and laughed at our synchronicity. i dropped one of her hands to cup her cheek with it. “hi.” i repeated. she laughed, winding an arm around my waist. “shut up.” she mumbled with a grin, before surging forward to once more press her lips to mine.

with the girl of my dreams holding me close and locking her lips to mine and the cheering of my closest friends in my ears, i figured things couldn’t get much more perfect than this.

#lily evans x reader #platonic james potter x reader #platonic marauders x reader

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