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servin-up-surveys · 1 year

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survey #127

What’s the best part about flying? The view.

Who did you last have a deep and meaningful conversation with? It wasn't like, MEGA deep, but Girt. He was confiding in me about something last night.

Any vacations planned? No, we basically never go on vacations. Doesn't mean I don't want to, traveling just isn't cheap, at all.

Which friend have you known the longest? That is still in my life in a way more than like, acquaintances by now, Summer.

Do you have a Facebook? I do.

What do you want for Christmas? That's quite a ways off, but at this moment I think my primary wishlist item will be a new phone. I'm just so done with the one I have.

How many people have you liked this year? I've only loved Girt, romantically.

Do you have any celebrity crushes? old German men apparently lmfao, still also love Markiplier as an individual tho, but that actual hyperfixation has passed.

Is it okay to kiss people when you’re single? If they're both single and want to, sure, why not. What I DON'T like though is leading people on, like making them chase a relationship with you while you refuse to commit. Then of course there are platonic kisses, which I think is generally fine, but it does depend on various things.

Do you have a secret that no one knows but you? Yes, two that I can think of. Neither is dangerous information or anything like that at all, they're just private things I don't share with anybody.

How many email accounts do you have? Two that I use.

Who is the best cook in your family? I wanna say my younger sis Nicole, honestly.

Which baby animal is your favorite? OBVIOUSLY meerkats. Very honorable mention to kittens though, I think they're also super fuckin cute.

Twitter or Tumblr? 100% Tumblr, I don't even use Twitter.

Favorite YouTuber? EVEN though I don't really watch him anymore (besides life update stuff), it's still Markiplier overall. Incredible and endlessly inspiring human being. I'm most into WATCHING either Game Grumps or John Wolfe these days, though.

Have you ever had a controlling boyfriend/girlfriend? No, I would NEVER fucking tolerate that.

Was your first kiss romantic? I think it was. It was super fucking cute more than anything.

Who was the last person to sleep over at your house? Girt. Oh, and Herb (grandmother's husband, not my mom's dad, and they were married for a super short period), the same night. I'm really glad Girt was here because it made me really uncomfortable that this random old man I don't consider family at all/barely know was sleeping directly across the hall from me... aaaaand it's happening again tonight, Herb literally popped up unannounced very shortly before I started this survey to stay here again for the night as a pitstop on his way back home. Mom had no idea this was the day he'd be here and isn't thrilled lmao, girl same.

What would you think if you found out your ex was gay? I'll go with just Jason here, as he's the only other guy I've seriously dated, and Sara is demi anyway so doesn't really fit this question. I'd be VERY surprised to learn this, but I mean, I'm sure he'd say the same about me being openly pan now. People are full of surprises.

How many people has your best friend had sex with? One.

When was the last time you had a conversation with an ex? We "dated" LITERALLY less than 24 hours, but I guess in technicality Juan. Which I'm not stoked about. He randomly reached out to me close to a week ago (suspiciously under a COMPLETELY new FB name????) after years of not talking, and I have no idea what he even wants yet, since there's been so few replies between us so far. I have QUITE the list of reasons to not trust him, but I'm trying really hard to just be a nice person and give him the benefit of the doubt that he's grown as a person, but I'm remaining distant no matter what. If he wants to be in contact on there, fine, but it's not going ANYWHERE beyond that.

Are you currently “appearing offline” to anybody? No, I never do that honestly. I mean one, people can be busy and still attached to the Internet, so I just don't feel the need to try covering up me being online. That and the only people I really ever talk to KNOW I'm always on the computer or messing on my phone anyway lmao, I ain't foolin nobody.

Do your siblings text you? No, honestly, unless they need something (like if they can't reach Mom) or they're telling me happy birthday. I will say Ashley checks on me more than Nicole (which is very, VERY literally never), though.

Did your last kiss end up with you and the person doing anything sexual? lmao yes

Who is your ex dating/talking to? I don't know or care. 2015 Brittany would have NEVER believed she'd be saying that (and especially confidently meaning it) one day.

Who did you last pinky promise with? Girt, I'm sure. He's the only person I really do it with these days, because he knows I like them.

Did you ever have to share a room with one of your siblings? I grew up sharing a room with Nicole once she was born two years after me, yeah. Didn't get my own until I was already a teenager, when Ashley moved out for college.

What happened at the last party you went to? It was a three-year-old's bday party, so lots of kids yelling and stuff, haha.

Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged? He's always had a charming smile, but beyond that, no. Especially as an adult now that realizes how fucked up it was that he even wanted a relationship with me when I was 15, I'm completely unattracted to him as an individual.

In your life, who is the person that seems to understand you the most? My mama.

Are you afraid of losing the person you like right now? I'd be absolutely devastated, but it's not something I actively think and worry about, but I accept it's always possible, and I'll survive if it unfortunately does. I will NEVER relive the Jason breakup situation, fucking ever.

Does anyone know your Facebook password? No. Well, Mom might have an old one logged somewhere; once upon a time she kept track of us kids' online accounts.

Would you ever consider getting a piercing in your septum? Nah, not for myself personally.

What’re some unspeakable subjects for you? I've learned through Nicole's career as a children's social worker that I CANNOT handle hearing about certain degrees of abuse towards children, especially when it includes sexual abuse. Like nobody WANTS to hear about that, ever, but she encounters the most batshit insane bullshit you could possibly even imagine, and she's learned that if she's telling Mom about various things that've happened at work, I generally can't be present because I get so fucking upset. It just blows my goddamn mind, the kind of beasts who can pop babies out left and right to ruin, and then there are couples who desperately want children to spoil the shit out of (we know a very specific couple that is this exact description), but can't manage to. It's literally evil.

What was the last thing you cleaned? Besides my own body, my keyboard, I think.

What’s something you have been putting off? I've been putting off finishing and putting stuff up on my Etsy for MAAAAANY months now. I want to do it, but I don't have my own bank account or cards of any sort, so I'm going to have to use my mom's, and idk, I just feel so weird talking to her about it so I just keep... not doing it.

What restaurants do you frequently eat at? Uh I'd say we get like, takeout most often from places like McDonald's or Sonic. We've both been more into Taco Bell than usual lately too, because we've started going to a new location that's super close to us and basically EVERYTHING they make is so much better than other locations we've been to.

Do you like banana pudding with a lot of bananas or more vanilla wafers? I actually really dislike banana pudding, and just banana-flavored things in general (usually).

How many books would you guess you’ve read in the last 5 years? Oh I have no idea, but a depressingly low number, I'm certain.

What was the last message you sent? Haha I was telling Girt about Herb just... Manifesting here

Is it currently warm where you are? UGH yes, at the moment I'm answering this question, it's 81*F out. This is the first day at PT where I really struggled with overheating (Mom's car doesn't have AC so I ALREADY came too warm), like the therapist for the day was really concerned. I just had to sit and drink water more than usual, and we eventually got a wet rag to help me cool off, because I just wasn't otherwise.

Have you ever fallen out of bed? Not that I remember, no.

What do you like on your hot dogs or burgers? I'm suuuuper basic with hot dogs, I generally just want ketchup and mustard. SOMETIMES a little bit of very finely diced onions is fine; they can get overwhelming fast. I'm more open to variety with burgers, but I generally go for ketchup, mustard, pickles, onions (once again, not too many at all), and occasionally bacon. I'm also fine with some amount of mayo on there, but not an overwhelming amount, and I never ask for it as an addition; I only have it if it comes with what I'm ordering.

Are you currently listening to anything? I've???????????? been bingeing that old "If I Had You" Adam Lambert song?????????????? like all day????????????????? fr there are just instances where my music interest for the day just throws me a total curveball, haha. I've been listening to more pop than I used to, for sure.

What’s something you like that is blue? The ocean, especially the really clear and aquamarine-looking ones!!

Have you ever traveled alone? Well I mean, I navigated airports/flew alone going to and coming back from Sara's.

Would you say you are toxic in any way? Let's be pure fuckin honest here: everybody, EVERYBODY, has been and is capable of being toxic in various situations. I myself handled the Jason breakup in an INCREDIBLY toxic manner, and I'm sure that's exactly why he blocked me online. Realistically, there's got to be more cases where I was toxic, that's just the big one that instantaneously comes to mind. We are all imperfect humans, and so we behave imperfectly regularly, and sometimes that includes behaving with toxicity, even when we entirely don't mean it. Now, do I think I as a whole am a generally toxic person, no, I don't at all. I at least try very hard to be the opposite.

What’s one of your favorite memories from the past year? Feeling my legs improve because of physical therapy. PT has been a fucking blessing, and I've still got more sessions to go.

What are some books you’d recommend to someone? My immediate go-to is probably ALWAYS going to be Johnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbo, an anti-war novel that really gained popularity (this is also how I discovered it) when Metallica wrote a song, "One," based off of it; the music video is even full of clips from the movie that followed the book. Both are great, but the book is an especially soul-crushing experience that leaves you haunted as shit, like it is ART.

Are you a gold digger? Absolutely not.

Describe the last dream you had: Actually I won't, it was one of THE WEIRDEST dreams I've ever had and NOBODY needs to know the details lmfao, I wish I didn't.

Have you ever been screwed over relationship-wise? Explain: Prefacing: Jason wanting to leave me was fine. I was affecting his mental health. HOWEVER, refusing to communicate how you were struggling with dealing with my depression and breaking up with me after 3 1/2 years over Facebook Messenger and then wanting absolutely, positively nothing to do with me wasn't. It was such a sudden, abrupt split that he performed in an incredibly cowardly manner and showed NO interest in trying to ease the blow to me, someone he supposedly wanted to marry and have a family with. Interesting to note I didn't even BEGIN to heal from the trauma until we met around a year and a half later to actually talk and allow me to find any degree of closure, and I know even that alone wouldn't have done it if I wasn't going to 7-hour therapy sessions for over a month every single weekday at the same time.

Have you ever danced in the moonlight? LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO THE ODDS OF THIS QUESTION COMING AFTER THAT^, we don't talk about this anymore<33333

Have you ever been with someone but wanted to be with someone else? That was the other part of the reason I left Girt the first time we tried dating, because I thought I liked Sara. The irony of that today, lmao.

What did you do last night? Girt and I finished the second season of Dark and then we were in bed until he needed to go home to get enough sleep to not be a zombie at work today.

Do you have a significant other? If you do, are you kind of crushing on someone else? Yeah, but I'm not even slightly into anyone else. If I was, I wouldn't stay in this relationship because that'd be completely unfair to him.

Have you ever had a threesome? No, I am way too monogamous for that.

#survey #surveys #random questions #personal questions

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elysianslove · 3 years

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cheering you up ; haikyuu boys

synopsis; different ways the haikyuu boys care for you and cheer you up when you’re sad

pairings; karasuno x reader, nekoma x reader, aoba johsai x reader, fukurodani x reader, shiratorizawa x reader, inarizaki x reader

genre; fluff

warnings; none probably a bunch of mistakes lmfao

note; i had to repost this like 3 times rip. anyways, im sorry for not adding inarizaki on my last one jbshds but they’re here now!!

karasuno ━━

sugawara koshi; i definitely think he's so in tune with you, and your emotions. he learns your cues very well, and knows every little thing about you that there is to learn. if you're having a bad day, he'll notice right away. he won't comment on it though. all he'll do is these little things to try to cheer you up, but it's going to be very subtle. he'll let u rest ur head on his shoulder, run his fingers through ur hair. he'll sneakily buy u ur favorite snack. doesn't bring anything up until you do. ends the day with cuddles and a chick flick.

sawamura daichi; he notices but he doesn't really know how to react. not because he doesn't know what to do, but because he doesn't want to trigger you or deepen your sadness in any way. he's very careful with you. if it's something throughout the day, he's very quiet and tender with you, just silently lets you rest your head against his chest and rubs your back/arm tenderly. as you're walking home he asks if you want to talk about it, and reminds you that it's good to, but it's also okay if you don't want to.

nishinoya yuu; not a single sad moment with mr noya here. seriously you cannot breathe. ok but in all honesty, when you're sad. he's sad. sends you memes, and you'll be laughing at them with tears streaming down your face because you don't really know what you're feeling anymore. he does a lot of tiktok trends with you, any of the couple ones. grabs your faces and ,,, smooch all over. until you have no choice but to laugh. if you want to cry even more, he'll watch the notebook and the vow a thousand times over, and be a sobbing mess next to you. just don't tell the guys okay? <3

kageyama tobio; he's so. bad. at this please help him. like he can tell ur sad, bc he's v good at reading people. but like. what the fuck is he supposed to do. anyways. when u two get to be alone and he kinda notices how quiet you are, he just nudges you slightly, and pulls you to him. it's easier to talk to you, he's calmer, when he can't directly look at you. when he feels you start to shake in his arms, feels the wet tears down your cheeks as you start to sob in his arms, his heart kinda breaks. all he can do is hold you, but it's what you need. and he'll listen too, if that's what you need as well.

tsukishima kei; i think he notices, but doesn't bring it up at all. the way he goes about it is he'll tease you to try and bring a smile on your face. because this is tsukki, and you know him well enough, you know the truth behind his jabs, enough to appreciate them. if it doesn't work, he'll just start to make fun of people in front of you, pointing random people out with you and just being like "wanna bet on what's making their relationship fall apart" this sadist i stg. like suga, he subtly makes you feel better until you yourself approach him about whatever's upsetting. actually gives 10/10 advice bc he's v honest.

asahi azumane; he's so empathetic oh my god bruh. notices immediately. "baby what's got u so upset" w a big pout on his face and when u just mumble "nothin" so low he barely catches it and instead throw yourself into his arms, he gives you a big, certified asahi bear hug. doesn't leave your side at all. constantly mutters sweet nothings and encouragements. if you do the bare minimum like make it through class he'll meet you after and be all "im so proud of my pretty baby". cuddles all day. all night. he's not very good at advice but he is the best listener !!! so attentive and you'll feel a huge weight lifted.

tanaka ryunosuke; "aight who do i need to jump" type beat. u love him so much though. that one sentence and sentiment already has you feeling better. immediately hugs you so tight, borderline suffocating you. "wanna ditch school". 100% willing to do so. he doesn't really know whether to approach it with distracting you or facing the obstacle head-on, but he finds a middle ground. eats your feelings out with you. saeko pulls out the embarrassing ryu pictures and suddenly you don't know why you were ever sad.

hinata shoyo; is really oblivious for a bit tbh. when he first meets you at the start of the day and his hyperactive self is greeted by your duller, sadder self, he doesn't think much of it. it's when you don't react to him or interact with him the way you usually would that he starts to notice you being off. he's actually super straightforward about it, and approaches you with some of your favorite snack that he bribed ukai to give him for free and just "wanna tell me whats up, baby?" he's so, so easy to talk to. immediately you're venting. and he listens to intently, gives stupidly good advice. it's like such simple approaches to your problem but?? it works. anyways you love him.

yamaguchi tadashi; will be super worried about what he could do to make it better, and kinda just tries to feed you as much positive energy as he can. once he's comfortable with people, he becomes really chatty, so i see him talking your ear off with the biggest smile on his face that you have no choice but to kind of ? mimic it? he just radiates goodness and sweetness that it shifts your own energy. he on some witchcraft shit on god. anyways when he walks you home or something, he'll just stop for a min and avoid your eyes when he says "ik u dont feel the best, but i dont want you to have to hide that from me, okay?" stan tadashi <3

nekoma ━━

kuroo tetsurō; drops everything. i mean it. i genuinely think kuroo would be such a good boyfriend that he'll sense it and text u as ur getting ready for school and be like "are u sad i feel like ur sad". you dont really wanna worry him and you'll just reassure him ur fine but he's already at your front door in — not his school uniform. insists the two of you take the day off saying "its fine babe im super smart". you two will spend the whole day just simply existing, talking when needed, he listens to you if you vent, and tries to come up with as many options of solutions for you so you don't feel weighed down. he'll make sure you eat even if you don't have an appetite, and will try to make u do something productive bc in a lotta cases, it could help you feel a lil better yk :)

kozume kenma; i pretend i do not see it — kozume kenma (2020). jbwjwks im jk. he's like tsukki in the sense that he will never address it, and he doesn't outwardly approach you about it. if it's just an off day for you, and you also happen to not have school, you'll go over to his house, hoping to feel a little bit better when you see him. "can i have a kiss, sunshine" to which he responds "why." you just go "im sad" and he gives u a big smooch. he'll have you lay on his lap while he plays his games, occasionally just sneaking in a peak at you to make sure you're okay. he'll ask if you wanna play to get your mind off things for a while. eventually, when things wind down a bit, he'll just mutter "yk i love you, yeah?" and that lights up your world hehe

haiba lev; as soon as he notices you're sad he just ☹️. he picks out a small flower and as soon as he sees you, he just tucks it by your ear, and smile so brightly and youll just be like "oh my god lev please stop being so cute". he won't really know what to do tbh, but the way he's so lost makes it so heartwarming and it honestly cheers you up all on its own. he just. "would a kiss make it better" and if you nod he'll just start kissing all over your face so softly, until he finally kisses your lips. when he pulls away he asks "again?" with a cute smile and if you nod he'll just kiss you over and over again. very simple way of cheering you up, and very foolproof tbh.

yaku morisuke; i think throughout the day, he might pester you a little bit about telling him what was wrong, but after you keep insisting you're fine, he relents, and decides that maybe giving you your own time and space to open up to him is better. he tries not to act differently in that sense, but he finds himself being a little more soft spoken, and gentler with you. i just had this image flash in my brain of you resting your head on a desk, head turned to the right, and then yaku comes and sits to your right, putting his head on the desk and facing you. and just. "hi :)" your heart melts. he kisses your forehead softly and tells you you're wonderful, in case you've forgotten. if, or when, you do open up to him, he'll be very eager to listen, and ready to fight off whoever upset you.

yamamoto taketora; this man is angry. like properly. "who the FUCK put a frown on my baby's face. speak the fuck up. i won't hurt you. ill just mutilate you." if you tell him that it's no one, and that you're just upset, he'll be so confused but he'll just nod and be like "okay. okay. do you want a hug?" and he'll hug you so tight. he'll admit that he doesn't like seeing you like this, and that he'll do anything to make it better. at first he's very cautious, but then he just lightbulb moment and as soon as you get home he'll be like "karaoke night babyyyyy" and then. no more sad.

aoba johsai ━━

oikawa tōru; very. perceptive. he greets you normally, even if he notices something's off, because he won't want to worsen anything. you meet him right before he has practice after school, and he'll just cup your face, lifting them to brush at your hair, and you just sigh. "my baby's had a long day, yeah?" he'll be very gentle and careful with you, i'm sure. he gives you a kiss, smiling softly into it, and reassuring you that you're much too strong to let a single bad day destroy you like this. he meets you later that night with a lotta ice cream and you two just binge watch any reality show you could find, shit talking the actors together. he himself is terrible at talking about his feelings this dumbass >:( so he understands if you don't want to yk? will encourage u to vent it out though. expect terrible, makes no sense advice

iwaizumi hajime; he kinda like. gets mad? when you continue to be upset and not speak about it? he's not mad at you! he's just. mad. this is iwa okay. anyways. he won't bring it up mostly, only being slightly more affectionate, especially in his hand holding, which is super gentle already as it is. when he invites you over, that's when he actually starts to talk to you about it. he lets you know that there's nothing worse than seeing you like this and not knowing what to do, and that he wants you to be able to talk to him. about anything. even if you think it's stupid. he'll listen, and tell you that it's not stupid if it's making you upset. he cooks for you <33333 then bakes with you <33333 you feel a lot lighter at the end of the night tbh

hanamaki takahiro; (he's so annoying i love him). as soon as he sees you upset he makes it his mission throughout the day to cheer you up in any possible way. spams your phone while you're class with ten thousand wholesome memes. sends you pick up lines. when he meets you in between classes he just yells out "how's my favorite person in the entire world!" and kisses you so wholly in the middle of the school hallway lmfao. while he's walking you home, takes a longer route and purposely, he passes by your favorite store/bakery/ice cream parlor. buys u ur favorite, and pretends to be shocked when you give him a piece. late at night, he'll facetime you, wondering how you're feeling, asking if you needed to talk about it. whether you do or you don't, you two will fall asleep facetiming.

matsukawa issei; the minute he sees you he's like "whats wrong". no hi or anything. he has like this frown on his face, which seems off bc it's rare to see a frown on issei's face, and he just tucks your chin in his palm gently and stares at your pout. "you good, baby?" he can tell you're not, but he wants you to be able to tell him on your own. sticks by your side the entire day, and nobody really mentions it. he talks to you as if it were a normal day, but his voice has a softer edge. he's not distracting you, per se. he's more, talking to fill the space while giving you your own space to think. once you're alone, he'll just drag you to the nearest comfy surface, flop down, and pull you on top of him. if you even try to resist or ask whats going on he'll just "nap and cuddles first." and when u sleep a lil bit of ur sadness away, he'll just let you talk it out as he continues to hold you <333

fukurodani ━━

bokuto kōtarō; just as empathetic as asahi, if not more. he really does feel it all with you. yk sympathy pains that partners get when women get contractions? bokuto is that partner. with bokuto, i feel like he'd never make you feel like you couldn't just straight up text him "im sad" and feel bad about it. if you ever do that, he'll immediately call, not even bothering with a text. if he can't come over, he stays with you until you've cried your heart out and then laughing until you can't breathe. if he can go over, he smothers you with love. repeatedly says "you know i love you, yeah? you know how grateful i am for you?" and in between kisses "im so lucky. so, so lucky."

akaashi keiji; i feel like as soon as akaashi notices you're down, or you're slightly off, he just grabs your hand and squeezes, forcing you to stop spacing out and focus on him for a second. if you're with a lot of people around you, he'll lean close to you and ask if you wanna go home. he'll be so soft and gentle and understanding, making up some excuse on the spot on why the two of you have to leave. if you're alone, he'll grab your hand and kind of tug you towards him, silently asking you to come into his arms, where you yourself know you feel safest. as soon as you're in the comfort of your home together, he'll like run you a bath and slip into it with you, just holding you until the water grows cold and the droplets on your skin are from your own tears. he'll wait it out, just holding you as reassurance, then make sure nothing's stopping you from spilling everything to him.

konoha akinori; when he first notices, he kinda deflates. like. who would wanna see their s/o like that? his smile is gentler when he greets you, and he's so soft with you. he grabs a pen and lifts your palm up, quickly scribbling down in his unique handwriting "i love you :) <3" on your skin, whispering for you not to wash it off until the end of the day. it is weirdly motivating tbh. as soon as the two of you are alone, he says it to you, face to face, an expected look on his face as if to ask "you know that, yeah?". puts on a movie to tune out the rest of the world, and holds you close to him as it drags on. he'll give advice if you're asking for it, but he's a better listener than anything else.

shiratorizawa ━━

ushijima wakatoshi; does not notice. in all honesty, he expects you to approach him whenever you have an issue or if you're upset. he's kinda like ? so confused when you're so down and really unresponsive, until he starts to notice how touchy you are. like you're leaning more into his touch, holding onto his hand like it's your lifeline, stealing his vbc jacket because it smells like him. is very straightforward, and will just ask you if you're okay as he walks/drives you home. kinda just stops in front of your house and presses a kiss to your forehead, then pulling you into a hug. "please don't be upset." he won't tell you that it kills him, but you can sense the unsaid words. he urges you to keep his jacket when he notices how safe it makes you feel. greets you the next morning with a new cactus in a pot hehe.

semi eita; is very cuddly once he notices. you'll sit at a table in school and he'll be sitting next to you, but he just pulls you into him and lets you rest your head on his chest, mumbling softly into your hair "i know you're sad and it's okay." he doesn't say anything else, just holds you there with a few kisses in between until he has to let go. late at night, if your thoughts are still keeping you up, he'll be up too, worrying, and will text you at 3 am if u wanna sneak out to meet him. takes you to the park and lays on the grass with you, picking out stars and constellations in the sky, with a soft soundtrack playing from his phone next to the two of you. he makes you feel secure enough to be sad even if you have all the blessings in the world, and makes sure you know that he'll always be there for you, even at 3 in the morning.

satori tendō; cheers you up by making you forget literally everything. replaces the sadness in your brain with just pure serotonin in any way he can think of. he'll take you to an amusement park, get ice cream with you, take you to the carnival in town, to the park, to the beach, to the pool, take you up to his house's rooftop. literally anything. and then he'll say something like "life's too short to spend it being sad over anything, darling." he's so understanding, and if you're frustrated or something he'll tell you to let it out by like wrestling him or some shit. exhausts you so much and you're filled to the brim with dopamine. he makes sure you're always happy, never seeing a dull moment in your relationship with him.

goshiki tsutomu; freaks out. plain and simple lmfao. but once he like grounds himself, he just softly comes up to you and asks you if you wanna talk about it, or if there's anything he can do. if yes, he'll break his leg running to go do it. if no, he'll just sit with you in silence, leaning over to hold your hand, talking to you about volleyball and his aspirations and how well he's improving. he's better at distracting you than helping you face your issues, mainly because he stresses out about giving the wrong advice or somehow making you sadder. he'll take a lot of pictures of you together on snapchat random filters to try and cheer you up, then later on in the night he'll send them to you and be like "look how cute we are ugh what a power couple" i love this dorkhabsjsks

shirabu kenjirō; i think he definitely notices, but keeps it to himself. he’d maybe think he’s imagining things and that you’re okay, so he’d go about his day normally. he doesn’t see you after school, and that’s when he puts two and two together and realizes yeah maybe you are sad. so he texts you, and texts you, and texts you, and gets no reply, so he just. comes over. unannounced. uninvited. just straight vibes. he’s already ordered your favorite take out, and already settling in bed with you under the cover with the lights dimmed and some chick flick playing in the background. gives the b e s t advice because he’s so blunt. like he will tell you if you’re overreacting, but you’re still his s/o, so he’d like wince as he says it. that’s all the sympathy you’re getting <3 but his bluntness will shock you into laughing hehe

inarizaki ━━

miya atsumu; usually, with atsumu, you’re always experiencing loud days. your relationship is all fun and flirty and suave and cool. but when he notices you’re sad, he goes quiet. like. eerily so. immediately pulls you aside somewhere private if you’re at a public place like school or something, and with his hands in yours he asks you if you’re okay. yk that thing where ur on the verge of tears and someone asks you if you’re okay and you just burst. yeah <3. his heart absolutely breaks and he just pulls you into a hug, resting your head on his chest and wrapping his arms around your neck. he just holds you there, even if you’re missing class/your friends are worried. he’ll stay with you until your tears have dried up, until you yourself let go.

miya osamu; i don’t see osamu as someone that loves pda. i feel like he’d be a more lowkey kinda guy. but if you’re sad, that gets thrown out the window. he doesn’t really in the moment, and won’t think too much when he pulls you close to his side and just wraps an arm around your waist/shoulder. yeah he’ll get looks but he can feel you trembling and shaking from holding back tears so yk, priorities. he’ll definitely stress eat with you. takes you literally anywhere and feeds you as you rant to him with tears streaming down your face and he’s just nodding sympathetically as he stuffs your mouth one bite after the other. romance is beautiful

suna rinatarō; when he notices you’re sad, his first response is alright what the fuck who messed up. he immediately blames someone else, and if he’s right, he’ll only get really agitated. just giving everyone the side eye from where you can’t see as he walks the two of you, your hand in his tight. if it’s not someone specific, he’ll just hum thoughtfully and then nod, before pulling you away somewhere private and just sitting you down and saying “talk.” very, very good listener. i can’t stress this enough. as you’re speaking he’s already thinking of a million different ways to help you solve your problem. walks with you as he traces your hands and just quietly tells you all the solutions.

aran ojiro; oh my god as a boyfriend he ticks all the boxes. he’s great at communicating, always satisfies your needs, is trustworthy and trusts you. the list goes on. immediately knows when you’re off/sad, and just smiles softly as he takes your hand, kissing your knuckles and saying, “let’s go home, yeah?” at home, he makes you some calming tea, probably pulls out some cookies or brownies or biscuits (that HE made but we’re not gonna get into that) and just listens as you talk, whether it’s about why you’re sad or just in general. gives you honest advice, but also a lil biased bc he loves you hehe <3

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gokubrain · 2 years

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I love trashing veggiebull. Theres so much stuff of it and so many canon moments of good ol geta being like "wife exist" and not actually lovin her lmao. The fans go nuts at the mere suggestion of them not being perfect, and like. He does care for her, but doesn't love her and he can care for almost anyone. Thats how Gokou helped him be a better person. Its even more funny when theyre purely z fans, which has less meat than a skeleton for that ship. Gt and onwards kinda have moments but z, nada.

if u like v*gebul don’t read any further lmao

whew i’m glad i get a chance to talk about this because i FUCKING hate this ship so much you all have no idea

v*gebul began as an excuse to have a new character from the future (trunks) and if it had ended at that, i honestly would have been okay with it?? like i don’t mind that they got together as a one time situation in order to produce trunks like… impulsive hookups seem like smth vegeta would do but W H Y did that have to lead to a relationship. i’m still bewildered by it to this day and i’ve been a dbz fan for 11 years lmfao

there is simply no chemistry between them, no matter how much v*gebul fans or super will try to convince you there is. they are both angry, stubborn, demanding people and i can only imagine how toxic a relationship between them is -__-

smth i find funny is how people always use this picture when talking about v*gebul:

but the full scene is actually vegeta jerking away from bulma when she touches him LMFAOO

AHDHDHF IDK ITS JUST FUNNY TO ME LIKE not to make this deeper than it actually is or anything but its almost symbolic of how v*gebul shippers are blind and will ship them wholeheartedly despite the fact that theyre really… like…. not good…… at All……….. they barely even like each other lmfao

anyway despite my griping, v*gebul is a boring bland ship with no substance and it adds absolutely nothing to the story. toriyama has a terrible habit of throwing two random people together to create the worst straight ships youve ever fucking seen in your life and for some reason this fandom eats it up despite there being very little chemistry or substance. u can point out moments in super all you want but i simply won’t listen because dbs vegeta is literally NOT vegeta anymore he’s just a different person

that’s not to say i don’t think vegeta cares about her, i imagine they divorce sometime post-buu and despite having an ugly falling out i still think they end up best friends. they have a lot of potential to be a really funny friendship duo imo 😭

even the CANON v*gebul moments do not hold a candle to any kakavege insinuation in the entire show its so fucking funny LOL like vegeta is so clearly in love with goku -__- so why are yall bothering….

oh but. to each their own i suppose =)

#i must stop here or i will never shut up #ive been avoiding discussing this bc i dont wanna piss people off but #this is my opinion im allowed to have it dont come for me for hating your fucking saltine cracker toast bland ass cishet ship -__-#answered

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writseo · 3 years

Text

Driver’s License | Felix Weston

Song: Driver’s License by Olivia Rodrigo

Word Count: 1k

Warnings: Car Accident, Break-up, Toxic and Neglecting Relationship

(A/N: I didn’t fully check it like my usual routine so if there’s any mistakes, I would hella appreciate it if you told me :D also, my sister listens to the song on repeat so I didn’t even need to really search it up like usual lmfao)

The door slammed as you quickly walked away from his apartment door. Tears ran down your face as you used all your strength to get yourself to your car without breaking down. The memories of the past flooded your mind as you tried to start the engine.

And you’re probably with that blonde girl, who always made me doubt

She's so much older than me

She's everything I'm insecure about

Before that night, you noticed the way Felix hovered over Lake as if he was a fly going towards a fly trap. His eyes always diverted to hers when you were huddled together as a friend group, conversations were always held by the two of them instead of with you, and the distance between you two became more noticeable by each day. It had been going on for at least a month, though you never wanted to go into it. A part of you had hoped that you were making it up in your head. Up until you went out together with your friends and the way he insisted on paying for Lake’s food earlier in the evening had never left your mind.

“Felix, can we please talk?”

His cheery voice came in, pretending like everything was okay, “What’s up?”

The smile you fell for creeped into his face, only more faltered than it used to be.

“Do you really, fully love me?”

His eyebrows furrowed as you looked down to your fidgeting hands. Though it didn’t take him long to realize what it was about. Silence had filled the room before you heard him stammer. By then, you realized his answer. You walked to the door, not sure whether you were angry at him or at yourself.

Yeah, today I drove through the suburbs

'Cause how could I ever love someone else?

You were hoping that maybe, just maybe the drive could help you clear your mind or better yet, make you forget what had just happened. Even if it was impossible.. You didn’t even realize that you had circled the building at least 3 times until you noticed how the red lights looked so familiar. Felix had treated you so wonderfully before everything. He would take you out for dinner, make you breakfast, cook for you and constantly make sure you were safe. How did something so beautiful turn and twist so painfully?

And I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one

The next few days were spent overthinking every single little detail in your relationship. Everything felt so real, so vivid. As if nothing was going to stop you two from a high that was spent together. Something in you just couldn’t accept the fact that it was over. Victor and his sister, Pilar, would end up making little stops to be with you, just to make sure that you were okay and well.

And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone

Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me

'Cause you said forever now I drive alone past your street

When you went back to school, you made your own table and sat with your other friends. Or at least students that weren’t part of Felix’s life. And when you looked at him from the other table, he barely seemed different, the same overall. His smile barely faltered, only when he looked towards you and your state. You weren’t doing well with your appearance but that didn’t matter to you. All that was important was keeping yourself under control. Yet he talked to everyone so easily, he spoke and held conversations as if he didn’t lose a big important part of his life. No one would have noticed that he’d gone through a breakup if they hadn’t known you personally either. Or if he hadn’t hinted it off to Lake earlier. Nonetheless, Pilar would come over to sit with you instead, eventually trying to nudge Victor to do the same. You weren’t the only one who was pissed at the boy by the end of the day.

Red lights

Stop signs

Even though you had went through the biggest breakup, accompanied with endless dick moves on his part, you couldn’t stop wanting him.

I still see your face

In the white cars.

Front yards

Every time you went back to your car, you just felt pain and familiarity from that night. The one night that you wished would just go away. Every time you drove, you saw him. You saw his face in the pedestrians walking by, thought some drivers were him, and even saw his eyes in the sky.

Can't drive past the places

We used to

Go to

Passing by the benches in your school, you saw the memories flash by in your head. The way he’d walk to you so confidently, head held up high as he would give you a random flower with a random fact he pulled from a google search before bed. Or the trees he would hold you up to so you can get up when you were trying to climb, only to get yelled down by the administrators.

Tears came down your cheeks once again, at least until you began to hear honks surround you as you pulled your head back.

Before you knew it, a red lit stoplight was right in front of you, coming closer and closer. Before your bumper could hit the steel pole, you swerved to the right. A big bump shook you as your tires slid over the sidewalk, retracting your car back into the road. Scared, overwhelmed, you sped to the nearest parking space and pulled over.

'Cause I still fucking love you, babe

You ran out the door, terrified as you couldn’t breathe anymore. Every grounding technique that Mia would give you, would all be thrown out the window. You paced around, looking for anything to get your hands on, any activity to make you feel relaxed. At least until you looked to your car, your eyes holding onto a small space below your window.

“(Initials) + F.W”

------------------------------------ Tag list -----------------------------------------

@hufflepuffprincesse

#love victor #felix weston #felix weston x reader #felix weston x reader song drabble #song drabble #felix weston angst #driver's license #felix weston song drabble #olivia rodrigo

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momo-de-avis · 3 years

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gelato

Okay, it was really hard coming up with something for this one cause I genuinely can't remember anything involving ice cream

Something did come to mind though. It's a bit of a stretch, and I'm risking a lot telling this story because there's a twist, but here it goes.

2006, I was a highscooler. Like any highscooler in the mid-2000s, I thought the coolest kid in my school was the ugly ass, six-pack looking ass dude who played the guitar, and my friends all drooled over the cool guys who sat on the exact same spot every day: the bench scribbled all over with stupid shit under the pine tree by the common room.

If anyone here is from Almada and studied in Pragal, I have PICTURES

I also stood out back then because I pierced my nose, wore a bazillion colours and then decided to dye my hair pink shortly after. I went through a vegetarian phase (which didn't last cause I love picanha so much) and a pseudo-hippie one, a pagan one, and a metal one. As one goes.

I had this friend. It was something close to a best friend. The only reason I never claimed her best friend was because she claimed someone else best friend, and I felt it was rude. We talked on MSN every day (lmao) and she was a social person. Mind you, I was super social too, but she had a wild life. We did the tackiest, stupidest shit a teenager can do, like drinking energy drinks and ditching class to read poetry. I am not joking, I was a complete clown.

This story is super convoluted, so I'm going to suppress some details both for the sake of her identity and because it's sincerely long as shit. But from one point on, her life started to get messy. We would be talking on MSN and she's tell me shit like "brb, [friend] just popped over in my house with 32 roses". Or: "oh my god, [same friend] just showed up here with his guitar and singing at my window". Another instance, she started weaving this tale about how the guitarist I had a crush on winked at her at the bus stop (man teenage girls have one braincell). And one ANOTHER instance she wove this really complex tale that made us believe she got drunk, passed out, had sex, and then had urges for mango ice cream (yes, ice cream will be a recurrent topic for some reason) which made us believe she was pregnant.

If you guys are seeing where this is going, it means you're adults. I did not, which meant I was a clown. Rest assured, I'm laughing my ass off as I am typing this.

That's when a new player comes in, who everyone called the Peruvian guy. Yes, because he was Peru.

Peruvian guy was the only one nobody had claimed in the band, except this girl. Until she started coming off with wild claims. It all started with the wildest love story I've ever heard in my life, like not even lifetime comes up with this shit. And unfortunately, only portuguese people will see the level of atrocious in this. Because it all started in a 25th of April Da Weasel concert, inside a crammed TST bus (the 124 OF ALL BUSES) as everything should begin.

These two lovebirds spot each other inside a bus that smells of sweat, vomit and nutsack and thing "damn, we're going to fall in love right now". The Almada main plaza is filled with drunken teens and two stops later they get off. My friend and him decide the best way to discuss the nonexistent relationship is the backdoor of our school, which is a plot hole if I've ever seen one, and he says, with no introduction, that he is madly in love with her. Just like that, going in raw. She is baffled. He repeats himself.

I should remind you that this was all relayed to me by her the following day.

To prove himself, he takes off his shirt, in the middle of the road, and despite being the least busy street in the entirety of the city and 1AM, he, according to her, stops traffic, and bare chested, starts slapping that shit on the concrete screaming I LOVE YOUUUUUUU like some coked up Peruvian Chris Pine. She is still baffled. It is still not enough. So he then grabs her by the shoulders, and SMACKS her against the school gates, which by now are a good 10 meters away, so it must have been a dance. Yes, she showed me the bruises the next day, I need you to remember this detail. And there, in front of a line of enraged drivers that clearly did not exist, he kissed her passionately. I do not think a part of her considered any of this to be assault, I genuinely think she thought this was romantic.

From here on out started the romantic walks by the beach and the gallons of digested ice cream. I mean, gallons. She even showed me receipts. She even relayed back to me his favourite ice cream flavours, where they went together at 9AM and where they sat as they tasted their ice creams together, hand in hand, holding a cone and licking away.

As you have all gathered already, all of this was horseshit.

It started falling apart when I actually befriended Peruvian guy lmfao

Man it was the worst fallout i ever witnessed. Her whole family actually protected this shit, it was wild. We were pretty angry (I mean, I was particularly angry cause these lies were specifically aimed at me, and it turns out only her name was real) and we didn't deal with it the best way, but some of us offered help, but man I lost it when she laughed in my face and said "of course it was all fake". Then again, I was 17 and hormonal, so not the best judgement.

The twist here is that I found her on tumblr again and can safely say she hasn't changed much. From what I've seen, I wouldn't trust much of what she says, but at least she seems more confident in herself. She doesn't come off as an outright pathological liar, and I certainly wouldn't believe shit, but looking back it now it is so fucking funny the lengths through which she went to make up this fake romance, man. Especially because we were teenagers fantasising about these dudes in a band and then my friends and I actually befriended them in our senior year of high school and they were actually pretty cool, chill dudes and the fantasy shattered completely, they were just guys (and the guitarist was a bit of a piece of shit too, and ugly if I'm being honest, but that's my standard today speaking).

But man, I hope to achieve that level of originality. What is so wild to me is that she showed me the bruises, bro. That girl bashed herself against a wall or something to prove a dude had a rough, passionate kiss with her. At least she had help and is better today (though she's not active on tumblr anymore, at least I haven't seen her in the past year or so)

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fff777 · 3 years

Note

what are some of your favourite exo ships & why? it’s always interesting to hear other people’s perspectives ^-^

Thanks for the ask! I’m not sure if this was related to the ask game I reblogged recently but in any case, thank you for the opportunity to ramble haha. I am a filthy multishipper, so this list is going to be quite long.

Yixing and Junmyeon are my favourite members, so a lot of my pairings include them.

Xiuho: Junmyeon is high strung and he takes his responsibility very seriously, and Minseok is the only person in Exo who he can trust to take the reins, because Minseok is his only hyung in the group. Though Minseok is technically Junmyeon’s hyung, I remember reading that Junmyeon is quite close with a lot of people born in 1990, so the formalities are often dropped. So there’s this weird relationship between Junmyeon and Minseok where sometimes Junmyeon is Minseok’s leader, sometimes they act like same age friends, and sometimes Minseok is Junmyeon’s hyung. But overall, I think Junmyeon feels a little more casual with Minseok because there are times when he can trust Minseok to take the lead as the hyung. Conclusion: Junmyeon gets to be baby or bro around Minseok instead of having to be leader all the time. And because Minseok is not only hyung but chill hyung, he calms Junmyeon down sometimes.

Seho: In the early days of Exo, Junmyeon was trying really hard to be the cool hyung, being nice to them, paying for their food, giving them affection, etc. He just wanted so badly for them to like him and think he was cool. I’m obsessed with the idea that Sehun has always quietly acknowledged all that Junmyeon did for him. Their relationship has always been Junmyeon looking out for Sehun and protecting him, and Sehun accepting that care. Even now, their relationship is like this, because Sehun has always been receptive to Junmyeon’s love. Conclusion: Junmyeon just wanted to be liked, and Sehun is saying “I see everything that you have done, and indeed I like you.” I feel so overcome with emotion whenever Sehun shows an ounce of love or affection for Junmyeon, because it’s usually Junmyeon who’s projecting his love for Sehun to the world.

Subaek: Both Junmyeon and Baekhyun have very tight idol personas. When they are on screen, they are ON. While they are both acting as idols, they are also aware that the other is also acting as an idol. It’s a double layer of understanding that intrigues me. When Baekhyun is being annoying and Suho is playing along with him, Suho knows that Baekhyun is just playing it up for the camera, and Baekhyun knows that Suho is too. I am very intrigued about what they’re like behind the scenes. It’s very much theoretical, but shipping has never been about canon. Conclusion: I’m intrigued by what Subaek are like when they are unmasked and no longer need to perform. How do they convince each other that it’s okay to let down their guard around each other?

Kyungmyeon: As I mentioned, Junmyeon just wants the dongsaengs to think he’s cool, but Kyungsoo is literally the toughest customer on the planet. I get the sense that he barely reacts to Junmyeon’s attempts at caring for him. There are so many clips of Junmyeon trying to play with Kyungsoo and Kyungsoo’s having none of it. So what happens when one day, Kyungsoo finally reacts to Junmyeon’s attempts at befriending him? Conclusion: Junmyeon keeps giving and giving and now he gets to receive.

Sulay: I feel like Junmyeon and Yixing feel truly relaxed with each other because they are close in age. I think Junmyeon takes age hierarchies seriously (though it gets blurry with the 90ers). I also think he is relaxed with Yixing because Yixing himself is a chill guy. Yixing takes music and dancing seriously, and he’s whatever about everything else. So Yixing balances Junmyeon out. There has also unfortunately been a distance between Yixing and the other Exos, since he’s the only Chinese member, but I get the sense that Junmyeon makes an effort to reach out to Yixing, and he is receptive to that, he sees that Junmyeon is trying to be nice to him, and he appreciates it and returns it in his own Yixing way. Conclusion: Junmyeon has no chill about everything, whereas Yixing is chill about everything except for music and dance, and they balance each other out. Also they are very soft with each other and their clumsy flirting makes me squeal. I love how Yixing went from calling him Suho-hyung to Junmyeon-ah~

Chanxing: They were the first Yixing ship I really obsessed over, and frankly I think my initial obsession with them was kind of shallow. Basically, it was just because I liked Yixing and I thought Chanyeol was hot lmfao. But there is for sure a charm to their relationship. Like I said, there is a bit a difference between Yixing and the Korean members. Chanyeol can bridge that gap through being a jokester. Yixing plays along because he’s a simple guy, he’s not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. If Chanyeol is extending funtimes to him, he will accept, even if he doesn’t totally get it. Conclusion: I like them because Chanyeol will use his jokey jokes to get Yixing to loosen up.

Kaixing: I only got into them recently, so my thoughts on them aren’t fully formed. Jongin is very sensitive to others. Yixing is quiet and doesn’t really talk much about himself. So I love the idea of Jongin sensing that Yixing isn’t saying something, and if it’s something bad, he’ll try to reach out and help him. Conclusion: Jongin is a good boy and notices when Yixing is not alright uwu. Flashbacks to that fanmeet in 2015 where Yixing was crying and had to turn his chair away and Jongin stroked his back (with Junmyeon T_T)

Baekchen: Baekhyun and Jongdae are very different kinds of celebrities. Baekhyun fully leans into the fanservice whereas Jongdae didn’t even want to be an idol to begin with. But it interests me how they make an exception for each other. Jongdae will indulge Baekhyun and Baekhyun will tone himself down a bit to match Jongdae. Even though I think Baekhyun plays up his hyper personality for his idol persona, I think that it comes from some truth, that in real life he is probably a relatively peppy and optimistic guy, whereas Jongdae is more of the typical conservative man. I think their shared history is fun too. how they auditioned together and made it to Exo together. It’s nowhere near a childhood friends story, but they have a little bit of past history that propelled them through their early years, especially since they had such a short training period. Conclusion: I’m interested in how two such different people can fit together so well. We saw in the early years of Exo how affectionate they were with one another. It’s changed as they’ve grown older, but I think their feelings are sitll there.

I’m going to throw in some ex-member pairings because I do quite like them.

Laytao: WYF and Lu Han left Exo because they didn’t want to be there anymore, okay, fine. But Yixing and Zitao wanted to stay. From what I’ve read, Zitao had only left because he was forced to work through his injury and his dad told him to leave. But I’m just imagining what it must’ve been like during OT10 era. Did Yixing and Zitao support each other? Yixing is a calm guy, and Zitao is the opposite, very fiery and dramatic. How do they fit together? Though Yixing is calm, he isn’t totally clueless, and Zitao is actually rather sensitive. Conclusion: How do they support each other when they feel they’ve been abandoned? They are very different, but they share something in common in a land where they’re the outsiders. Does that mean anything to them?

Kailu: Admittedly, the support for this ship is weak, but I read a few fics with this pairing and I am a fan. Basically, in Kailu fics, I think they’re more of a power couple. Lu Han is good looking and smart, and Jongin is confident and striking. I was digging through old forum discussions the other day, and I actually think this ship came about because fans thought they looked good together, despite their lack of canon interactions.

(I also used to be a big fan of Fanxing. For obvious reasons, I am not into them anymore. Admitedly the fictional version of WYF was very interesting to read about.)

There are also a LOT of ships that I am cool with, such as Layhan, Sukai, Sekai, and Hunlay.

If you’ve made it this far, thanks for reading!

#answering stuff #anonymous #i wrote this super fast late at night so there may be some ships i've forgotten lol #and i change my mind on my favourite ships all the time too lmao

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

Text

Survey #457

“blue are the words i say and what i think / blue are the feelings that live inside of me”

Do you buy your lingerie at Victoria’s Secret? No. That shit is so overpriced and not for my size group. Would you ever use an online dating service? I never would again. Are you good at multitasking? ABSOLUTELY NOT. Have you ever eaten Frosted Mini Wheats? Ugh, those are so gross. What does your bikini look like? You think THIS bitch wears a bikini??????????????????????? Does age really matter in a relationship? To an extent, yes. How much does the last person you kissed mean to you? I honestly don't even know if I'd be here without her. Almost like magic, Sara popped back into my life right after I returned home from the hospital following my suicide attempt. She helped make recovery possible as a solid source of support. Do you use lotion? Not NEARLY enough. My skin is so dry; I need to. Do you believe in teenage love? I experienced it deeply and thoroughly, so yes. Have you ever sat on the roof of your house? No. Do you like Sublime? I like that one popular one of theirs. "Santaria" or whatever it's called? What’s your favorite movie genre? Paranormal horror, especially the "found footage" type. It's creepy to imagine it being actually real. Is there a celebrity that you’d be willing to have a one night stand with? If he was single? I know in my gut I would lmaooooo Do you want to live in your current town the rest of your life? OH MY GOD PLEASE NO If you found out today your best friend was gay what would you do? She's demisexual, so. She can like anybody. If you could get a pet for free today-what kind/what name? A tegu, because it wouldn't need an enclosure that I don't have. I'd let it free roam. God, I can only imagine Roman's reaction. How many people have you slept with? If you mean what I think you do by "slept," one. Do you ever wish you had a family business to become a part of? Not really. What’s the most gruesome way you could come up with to kill someone? Hunny, have you seen my dark RP????? The world best be glad I'm a pacifist lmfao Do you think anyone deserves to die that way? I don't believe in torture, so no. If you had to fight for survival, what would your weapon of choice be? A gun, I guess? I'd want something with range and that's quick. I wanted to say a bow and arrow, but preparing another arrow after shooting once could really cost you your life. Where did you buy your favorite pair of jeans? I don't wear jeans anymore. Do you have a large dog? We don't have a dog, period. If not, are you afraid of them? No, I love big 'ole puppos!!!!! I just don't wanna own a dog myself. Are you good at playing darts? Holy fuck no, I have NO hand-eye coordination. I once stabbed the guy at a balloon popping booth thing with a dart in the arm, if that tells you anything, ooooooooooof. Do you like breaded chicken sandwiches? YESSSSSSSSS omg Do your parents know that/if you smoke? They know that I don’t. Have you ever been under a blacklight? Omg so in elementary school, we did this thing once where we all washed our hands as best we could and then put them under some sort of light (maybe a blacklight, idk???) to see JUST how resilient germs are. You gotta scrub the fuck out ya hands, people. How many pounds do you want to lose? I'd rather not share a number, but a lot. What’s your favorite natural phenomenon? The Northern Lights. Do you snore? Very surprisingly for someone with sleep apnea like mine, I actually don't. How many people do you know with the same first name as you? Off the very top of my head, one, but it's spelled differently. I KNOW I know of a shitload more Brittanys, though. Is it possible you could be pregnant? Well, I haven't been intimate with a man in years and just finished my period, so like- Could you go a day without texting? I go most days without texting. Do you have a step-parent? My dad is remarried, so yes. If so, do you get along with them? She's EXTREMELY Christian, so her beliefs wildly disagree with mine, but I keep my mouth shut a lot just to keep the peace. She IS a very sweet woman, nevertheless, and am glad she and my dad are so happy together. Does your current/last job require that you wear a uniform? My last job (which lasted not even two hours lol) did. When will your driver’s license expire? My permit has been expired for like... two years. Do you live in an apartment? No. If the last person you kissed proposed to you what would you say? That's too wild a concept to even imagine. I'd probably ask if she was okay lmao. Would you ever get back with one of your exes? Weeeelp, I want to get back together with Girt. Pretty badly. Write a foreign word, and what it means: "Schadenfreude" is a German term that essentially means secondhand embarrassment, but it doesn't have a perfect translation. Is there an ex you think about everyday? Inevitably. That's PTSD, my friends. Who is the last person that you said I love you to, besides family members? Sara. What's the worst thing you have ever said to anyone? Something along the lines of "no one could ever love you like I do." It boils my blood just typing that; I considered even deleting this question. That quote right there is fucking manipulation, even IF I thoroughly believed it. Who was the last person to comment one of your pictures? I don't feel like looking. Do you tend to go for older or younger when looking for someone to date? It's weird, I'm into slightly older-than-me guys, but probably girls who are barely a bit younger than me. Have you ever been used? I don't think so. Have you ever not been able to get someone out of your head? Like I've said in plenty of surveys: Jason is probably a permanent fixture. But also as of the past two days, Girt's been living up there. I went from "hmmm I just don't know how I feel" to "FUCK I want to talk to him about how stupidly into him I am right this fucking INSTANT" pretty goddamn fast. It kinda scares me just because of how extreme my feelings are. Again. That's only ever gotten me hurt. Buuuut let's not get into that. Have you ever got caught cheating on a test? No, because I've never tried to. Will your next kiss be a mistake? I hope it won't be. But it's not like I know the future. Have you ever worn an oxygen mask? Actually yes, when I was young and thought I was having an asthma attack or something. Mom had one for her own asthma. Then I obviously wore one for surgery. What song do you want to be played at your funeral? "Paradise" by Coldplay is absolutely #1. How many swear words are in the song you’re listening to? I'm not listening to music; I'm back to watching Gab play Sekiro. What color was the last swimsuit you wore? Black. Have you ever kissed anyone of the same sex, and if so, who? Yeah, just Sara. Who did you last tell to ‘shut up’? Ha, I think my WoW friend Lyndsey, but only playfully, of course. We pick fun at each other all the time. Would you ever get a tattoo of a boyfriend/girlfriend's name? NOOOOOOOOO. Are you one of those girls who already have baby names picked out? I know what I'd name my kids IF I actually wanted any, yeah, but I don't. Do you think guys with long hair are attractive? Yessss, I love long hair on guys. Are any of your siblings taller than you? I think Ashley is a liiiiil bit taller? I know my brother is, for sure. Have you ever scared someone so badly that they cried? Yikes, no. When was the last time you wore high heels? Boy oh boy, no idea. Is there someone that you want to hurt right now? Jeez, no thanks. What was the most interesting or colorful birthday cake you’ve had? I don't remember, but I'm sure something from childhood. What was the last thing someone bought you? Was it expensive? Mom bought me food from McD's, which obviously isn't expensive. Do you have any interesting moles anywhere you don’t want people to know of? No. Have you ever gotten high or drunk in a really formal place? Strong "no" there. Do you ever write poetry and post it on any certain websites? On the very rare occasion I write poetry and actually like it, I'll sometimes post it on dA. What do you miss most about your childhood? Actually, genuinely having fun and not dealing with fucking anhedonia. Would you like to know the precise date of your future death? Hell no. Do you photograph well? I'd like to hope so. Are there any animals you flat out refuse to touch? Maggots and similar bug larvae. What super power would you refuse, if it was offered to you, and why? Mind reading. It just sounds... awful and overwhelming. What’s your favorite discontinued product that you wish would come back? Oh, I KNOW I have answers to this, just none are coming to me immediately and I don't feel like sitting here for five minutes thinking about it. If adults had show and tell, what would you bring into work? My snek! :') If you had a reset button for the last 10 years, would you press it? Tempting, but... I don't think I would. I cannot go through how deep my depression was again. Who is someone you would never swear in front of? My nieces and nephew. Yes, I don't believe in profanity being a "thing" and is just a stupid human fabrication, but nevertheless I acknowledge societal standards and expectations, and they're way too young to get when you shouldn't say something like that and why. Have you ever won a contest or competition? A few. Who is your favorite TV character? I don't think I really have one? Do you coo over other people’s babies? Not really, no. Sometimes I'll think they're super cute and be like "awww," but I don't like... squeal and spaz like some people do. What is something that makes you very squeamish? VOMIT. Has there been a celebrity death that really affected you? Steve Irwin got me deeper than anyone else. Chester Bennington hit real hard, too. If you’re out of high school, have you stayed in touch with your high school friends? If you’re still in school, do you think you will? Most of my closest ones, yes, at least via Facebook. What’s a movie that you want to see? Old movie, but Jacob's Ladder. It was a massive influence on Silent Hill, so naturally, I'll probably love it. It's a classic, anyway. Do you use the same username everywhere online or do you have a lot? I use "Ozzkat" in most places, but I do have some other ones for different sites. Who was the last person you know who became pregnant? My friend Ana recently revealed she's expecting her second child, a boy. What fad were you actually into? I have zero clue. Have you ever tailgated? Would you want to? Fuck no. That's how so many wrecks happen. My sister legit got in a wreck with an 18-wheeler mostly because she was tailgating (which she does BADLY); she was trying to pass, and he moved over at the same time because he couldn't see her coming around. It's a borderline miracle she got out with only some cuts, bruises, and a seatbelt burn. Have patience, people. Get off cars' asses. Why did you fall for the last person romantically? Look, don't get me started on this. There are a shitload of reasons and I have been way too emotional over this the past few days laksdfja;lwke What’s the last thing you had to eat? A bagel w/ cream cheese for breakfast. Do you ever pick up your house phone? We don't have a landline phone. Truth be told, are you more into looks or personalities the most? Personalities, for sure. I cannot be into you if your personality isn't attractive.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''i'm blue'' by eiffel 65

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purplesurveys · 3 years

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1115

survey by vintagekid

Name: Robyn.

Happy with it? I am now, but I certainly wasn’t as a kid. Other kids were cruel and would tease me solely for my name, which made it hard for me to socialize. I got the same bad Batman jokes too many times and I also got called a boy. These seem petty now, but as a kindergartener adjusting to life in school, it had been traumatizing and made me wonder if my classmates were going to remain the way they were for the long run which no 4-year-old should be mulling about, really.

Do you wear stilettos? When I get the chance, which isn’t very often at all. But I do love stilettos.

How important are looks to you? I find this question very vague, but generally looks matter to me to a certain extent, like how I’d want to look nice and proper for a job interview or for formal occasions such as weddings. Relationship-wise, I also think I have to feel a level of physical attraction towards someone for me to consider seeing them.

How often do you download music? I don’t anymore. I stream all my music.

Can you name a philosopher? Socrates.

What would you do if two unicorns tried to whisk you off to candy mountain? I just looked this up and this is apparently in reference to an ancient viral video, like it was around before viral videos were even a universally-acknowledged concept. That said, I don’t have a clue how to respond to this lmao.

You became the deciding vote in an election, which party would you go for? I don’t base my voting decisions on parties because the party system in my country is a tragically broken shitstorm in which every single party rallies the same values and principles, just executed in their own – and usually poor and unsustainable – ways. I do my research on each candidate, see how they answer in debates, look at laws they’ve authored, see which marginalized groups they proactively support (if they do), and decide from there.

Do you have a bzoink account? I don’t but I’ve been a semi-regular visitor since like 2009.

How many phone calls do you typically make in a day? Zero. People usually call me.

What song are you listening to? Tell Me It’s Okay by, surprise surprise, Paramore.

Do you understand things others your age do not? I don’t know. Maybe. Everyone’s bound to understand some things better than others.

Do you hate people that label themselves? Why would I hate that? And why would their chosen label be my business?

How many windows do you have open? None. There’s plenty of mosquitoes at night, so even though the cold evening air would been pleasant to have we have to keep the windows closed by nighttime.

How superstitious are you? Not at all.

If you were in Harry Potter, which house would you be in? I’ve been told either Gryffindor or Ravenclaw.

Which comedian can always crack you up? It’s not a habit of mine to watch comedians.

Are you nagged about being on the computer too much? Not since I was a teenager. Since college I’ve been doing most of my work, if not all of it, through my laptop, and I think my parents understand that I have to use it all the time.

Do you feel bad about anything you've done lately? Nothing comes to mind, no.

What's your texting bill typically like? My SIM is prepaid, so it works the other way around. I put load credits in it only if I know I’ll have to call/text/surf regularly.

What song did you/do you want played at your wedding? Turning Page by Sleeping At Last.

Do you have a lot or hardly any lines on your palms? Idk, a decent amount I guess? I don’t think it hits either extreme.

What's your favourite word? Poignant.

Are you allowed to swear in front of your parents? Yeah. They’ll shoot me a glare sometimes, but I’m in my 20s and...they know they can’t really do anything about it anymore lol.

Do you eat apples? No.

What are your addictions? Coffee, I suppose.

What are some words you use in daily life? I use intensifiers often, like very, really, super, absolutely, etc. I’m also big on expressions hahaha like oh my god, seriously, for real, and ugh.

Do you look things up on Google constantly? Yes.

Where do you get your music from? Spotify. Sometimes YouTube if I wanna look for a leak.

What do you think of people with afros? That they are people with afros...? I don’t really know what you’re looking for me to say, lmfao.

survey by charey-chas

Do you like getting your picture taken? Not for the most part. My body instantly gets all frozen and awkward when a camera’s placed in front of me, which I hate because I do wish I could have more photos of myself around. Is your phone anywhere near you? It is not, actually. It feels great and I really should start making it a habit to keep it away from me entirely on weekends. Do you ever enjoy going to school? In my first school, I enjoyed going mainly (and probably only) for my friends; but Catholic school was predominantly a torturous experience. The rigidity isn’t something I look back fondly on, and it felt like being kept on a tight leash for 14 years. College was a lot more enjoyable in every way possible. I liked going to (most of) my classes and learning as much as I loved the vibrant org culture and the general freedom that comes with university life. Have you ever gone on a road trip? Lots. The Philippines is a relatively small country and unless you want to jump to a different island altogether, there are many provinces you can readily travel to by car. Who do you get along with best in your family? Nina, my sister. Then my dad. I clash a lot with my mom and I don’t talk to my brother. Based on your personality, what animal do you think you'd be? Cats and I don’t get along very well hahaha but I think I’m similar to them. Would you ever buy anything from an infomercial? Maybe once, just to be able to say that I have. Have you ever made a snow angel? No, because I’ve never seen snow before. Have you stayed in a hotel in the last month? No. We had a brief getaway in Tagaytay but we switched things up and went to rent a condo, instead of book a hotel room, for a weekend. What's your most comfortable outfit? If I want to go for comfortable, I usually go for my rompers or jumpsuits. Do you text or IM more? IM these days. Would you rather listen to music or play it? Listen. I have no music-playing skills whatsoever. Have you ever been in a hot tub? Sure. Do you like pizza? LOVE IT Are you sleeping in your own bed tonight? Yes. If not here, the couch. But most likely it will my bed tonight. Are any of your friends having a sleepover right now? I doubt it. Angela and Hans had an overnight stay in Batangas a few days ago for their Valentine’s shenanigans though, which I guess kinda counts as a sleepover. Have you ever been to a house party? I don’t think so. That’s something I missed out on in my college days, but I don’t mind. Do you listen to your iPod or the radio when you're in the car? I think I keep a good balance. If my phone’s battery is not very high I’ll rely on the radio; and sometimes I’ll sync my phone’s Spotify to the car as well.

survey by charey-chas

What song is stuck in your head at the moment? RAVI’s BUM. What's your fathers' middle name? He doesn’t have a second name, but I’m not sharing his legal middle name on here either. How many hours a day do you spend on the computer? On work days, I’d say 8-10 hours. On weekends, maybe a little slightly less than that since I do like getting off the laptop sometimes to rest my eyes. Could you live without the internet? People from the past managed to live without it, so I know I can. It would just be extremely inconvenient; and having been dependent on it for such a long time now, I would likely be clueless on how to navigate most activities. What's something you're really into? Learning about cultural differences!! That’s why reading survey answers has always been fascinating to me. I would love a website that dives into the various everyday behavior people observe in other countries, but the ones that do exist use like 20- or 30-year-old sources, so they aren’t even relevant at all anymore. What's the last movie you saw in theaters? Knives Out. Have you ever seen a movie in 3D or in an IMAX theater? Just once. It was Denise and Leigh’s 18th birthday treat and they brought us to watch Doctor Strange in 3D. Do you prefer skirts, shorts, or skorts? Shorts. Have you ever vandalized? Just a few school chairs in grade school, but otherwise I’m too paranoid for vandalism lol. What's the longest you've stayed up? Maybe a little longer than 24 hours. Who'd you have a sleepover with last? Gabie. When's the last time you baked something? Nearly a decade ago. Our oven was new at the time and I wanted to try baking cookies. Do you like to dance? When I’m alone. Do you scratch mosquito bites, even though you're not supposed to? Yup. Are you afaid of spiders or do you like them? I mean I’m not fond of them, but I also don’t scream and run away when I see them. I just don’t care for them for the most part. What's a pet you've always wanted? I’ve only ever wanted dogs, and now I’ve got two of them. Do you like mice? Not really. Would you ever get a tattoo? Sure. I’ve been considering it for a while now; it’s just a matter of being able to save up for one. Do you prefer to walk in the street or on the sidewalk? Street, if it’s bare and safe enough. Otherwise if I’m in a busy city with regulations and all I’d obviously rather be on the sidewalk. What's your favorite t-shirt? My CM Punk Best in the World merch. Who did you last think about? I remembered Deina when I was thinking about the tattoo question. She got a pawprint tattoo on her wrist shortly before her senior dog passed away and ever since learning about it I’ve also been thinking about getting the same tattoo. Do you like giving hugs? I love giving hugs and it’s an automatic response for me whenever I see someone I love, which is why Covid is such a torture for me. Do you prefer hardwood flooring or carpeting? Hardwood. Did you/will you get a car for your 16th birthday? No. I got a car when I was 17, around six months before I started college. Have you ever eaten a worm? No but I’d be willing to try.

#survey #surveys #a few short ones in one post

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selfcareparker · 3 years

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(lovely anon) ok so this may sound so dramatic but; let me paint you a picture: i’m responding to your latest message, sitting on the edge of the sofa. i type in “lovely anon” into the search and see this longgg post come up and i’m like uhhh... i scroll down and see the people you tagged and literally. when i saw @ lovely anon. i . cried . like full on tears. my brother goes “what are you doing” “she tagged meeeee” and he continued what he was doing and didn’t care LMAOO but i was so emotional? i love and appreciate you too and aAH IM CRYING!! you’re just really sweet and i didn’t expect it at all and it was really lovely to be a part of something :’)

the kermit pic sent meee but yes yes yes!! when you start uni let me know, lol i’m so excited for you!! let me know how it goes cuz i’m literally hype hahah & yes we will be in our sad corners of the world, missing england but you’re right it’ll be sooooo worth it in the end!!! and oH i’m glad you talk to them lol i truly thought you like haven’t seen them/haven’t spoken to them this whole time😭 that would’ve been awful!

also i totallyyy get what your saying about the english speaking thing. and idk why you’re insecure (well i *knowww* bc it’s not your first language and you’re studying it in college so yuh) but your english is great :)))

lol yeah that makes sense.. my mom took french in college and she remembers NOTHING HDJSHSJ (the fact that you wanna learn MORE languages i- ahh i so admire you.. you literally know so many languages🥺) yea i mean you know a bunch of languages bc you know the base of words lol, but i wonder if because you know latin it’ll be easier for you to learn french? oh- oh wait you said it’ll be easier HAHHAHA

THERES SO MUCH EXCITING STUFF TO TALK ABOUT HDGSJSJSL it’s so wild to me that you can’t watch chaos walking :( i’m a professional hacker tho so i’ll try and find a way for you LMAO (by professional hacker i mean i literally have gotten multiple free trials and i’m pretty sure the hulu police are after me bUT ITS THEIR FAULT BC WHY IS IT SO EXPENSIVE???) i mean the movie was good? and cute? and funny? but yea don’t think it’s gonna be the most fantastic thing haha AND THE DOGGO AWWW (i saw it again today- or my today lol, saturday, aND THESE OLD PEOPLE CAME AND SAT IN FRONT OF ME AND MY FRIEND LIKE ITS A LONG STORY LMK IF YOU WANNA HEAR IT)

SHARK FILMS?!?!! PLEASE READING THIS I HAD NO IDEA YOU WOULD LIKE SHARK MOVIES TOO FHSKSHSHDJDJGAJAYSJS ok so i haven’t seen any of the classics (i’m working on it) but i would probably watch jaws to laugh at it? not like that lmao but like comparing it. OKAY BUT HONESTLY I BARELY KNOW ANYONE WHO LIKES SHARK FILMS AHHH OKAY im adding “the shallows” to my watchlist bc it sounds super good AND SAME AHSJD ANY BODY OF WATER IN A MOVIE I JUST KNOW ITS COMING LMAO watch me not go in the water anymore after seeing that picture HHDJSJ

WHEN I READ THIS I JUST GOT DONE TALKING TO MY MOM ABOUT THE MEG AND THAT SCENE WHERE THE SHARKKK JUMPEDDDD AND ATE THE OTHER ONEEEE AND THEN JONAS HAD TO DO- bro i cannot (i think that one is my favorite because i love me a bit of romance and the subtle romance hAD ME) 47 meters down PHEW could you imagine?? i try not to think too hard about it i’m like “don’t be dumb catherine, don’t put yourself in a dumb situation” (not autocorrect having “dumb bitch” ready i am not lying) and i literally understand... there is no other way to explain 47 meters down

i CANNOT watch horror movies, can’t can’t can’t, i literally hate them i cannot do it!!! the thrill is tempting and it’s cool in the moment but i cant lmao. i don’t have nightmares about scary things (for the majority of the time) but going to sleep i’m like oooohhhhhh shit 🥲 literally what you explained

music !!!! music !!!! music !!!! (u ever write a word and now it looks weird lmao) MY BROTHER DOESNT LIKE MUSIC AND ITS SHIT IM LIKE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU- anyway, my music taste is all over the place i mean......... it’s crazy. earlier today i was listening to meghan trainor’s album “title” oUT OF NOWHERE, but just a few minutes ago i was listening to fall in love with me by earth wind and fire soooo lol .. megan is *chefs kiss*, i’m not familiar with stormzy🙈, harry styles.... IM SORRY IM THAT PERSON but i don’t listen to his solo music EEK i only listen to adore you... and not that frequently... the music video freaked me out... i like niall’s solo music a lot more, which i listen to a lot more. now. one direction. favorite. please & thank you. i have a playlist called “boy bands” and it consists of one direction and the vamps (obsessed with cherry blossom btw) but as you can see my taste is all over the place!! fr fr if i sent you what apple music has as my “favorites” it went from ariana grande to carrie underwood to glee (OBSESSED DONT LET ME TALK ABOUT IT) i mean please if you let me i will nonstop (hamilton HDJSH) talk about music all day😩 & NOOO UR MUSIC IS GREAT HAHSK IM NOT A BIG RAP PERSON BUT DOJA CAT IS MY FAVORITE!!

okay good, i’m glad :) i was just nervous that you did feel that way <3 and GOT IT HAHAJ healthy pressure is always good :’) my friend got me these pens cuz i love stationary and school supplies lol and was like “now you have to write something” soooo yea i feel that! and i saw you posted the ficcccccc literally so proud of you 🥺🥺 i’m trying to decide if i read it tomorrow or tonight..... sleep or a literal beautiful creation made by the sweetest person and is v v nice smut and college!peter and 4.7k...... sleep aint really calling no more.

GIRL ALL OF MY SENTENCES ARE TOO LONG HAHAHAH IN FACT THIS IS TOO LONG SOOO (also why am i 3 days late..😑) anywho it’s 1 in the morning so <33 lovely anon

🥰

oh my god the fact that you cried nearly made me cry too😭😭🥺🥺 (also, your brother LMAO), i wasn‘t even sure if you‘d see it but i immediately thought of you so of COURSE i included you <333

the hulu police lsjsjaiaik, girl i was ready to get a hulu membership when i wanted to watch big time adolescence and i couldn‘t find it anywhereee, and when i got to the payment it said i need a bank account that‘s based in the US or whatever. like bro i was about to pay you!! but i was forced to find it somewhere (and i did, on levidia,— not that i‘ve ever used it because it‘s illegal 😤 i would never!!! i‘d rather support billion dollar companies and spend my money on watching films that i can find for free 🥰🥰🥰 not

i‘ve found chaos walking online so i‘ll watch it som time this week!! also YES TELL ME THE STORY

okay so idk if you watched/are planning on watching falcon and winter soldier but i watched the first episode the other day and they were speaking french (just a few seconds) and I UNDERSTOOD SOME WORDS DLDJDJ and i was so proud of myself. i‘ve only ever learned french with duolingo lol (i only do like 5 mins a day and that‘s why i was so surprised that i understood some of it!!). and yeah apart from latin i feel like italian, german, french and english are all similar in a sense.. i mean obviously they‘re completely different languages but for example there are some grammatical constructions in french that i think i wouldn‘t understand if i only spoke english? so when i translate those things into english you can‘t directly translate them bc you say things differently, but when i translate them into german then it makes more sense to me. idk that‘s something i noticed so i feel like if you already know multiple languages it‘s easier to learn another language compared to if you only know one language and are trying to learn a second one. even if the languages aren‘t similar then i think you get the hang of it easier.

ikd slsjsjs also i don‘t want you to think that i‘m a linguistic genius or anything lmfao, like i‘m only fluent in english and german and i‘m just a wannabe (ew that word) polyglot sksj (yes i had to google polyglot— i do think learning ancient greek would be super cool tho? like imagine studying latin AND ancient greek, whew). and honestly i don‘t think i‘ll ever be fluent in another language bc i don‘t plan on living anywhere other than germany or possibly england and i‘m not dedicated enough to properly learn any other languages esp if i don‘t have anyone to speak the language with. but i still try my best and i just love language/languages as a whole so yeah i‘m happy & just learning as much as i can dkdjh🥰

(I guess language/linguistics are/is my passion (which sounds sooo lame lmaoooo) and the word passion comes from the latin word pati (i think💀) which means to suffer, and in german passion is called Leidenschaft which basically means suffering too, idk why i‘m telling you this maybe you know it already. but ok dumb fun fact, in german you can make compound words with as many words as you like, and the longest official german word is Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz which is a law for the monitoring of labels on beef... this is such a dumb fact but i think about that word like once a day idk why dodjsjsj so... 👁👄👁)

but i‘ll stop boring you with my linguistics talk because truly i don‘t know much about languages but i am interested omg i‘m gonna shut up now.

now water + sharks. (so in non-covid times i always go to croatia with my dad during the summer, and even before ever watching a shark film i was always kind of scared in water.. but after watching so many shark films wldjdj HELP Like you know when you go deeper into the ocean and you can‘t see or feel the ground/floor? anymore.. then i just start imagining sharks. like i can‘t help it i just imagine a shark sneaking up on me or feeling something graze my foot ABD I JUST START FREAKING OUT SSKJSHSJ. idk. anyway kdkdh i do love the ocean/swimming though but the older i get the more i realise how fucking scary the ocean is ( even if we’re gonna disregard sharks)

your brother... what‘s wrong with him? HOw CAN YOU NOT LIKE MUSIC LIKE WHAT THE FAWK

OKAY BUT SAME ABOUT THE ADORE YOU MUSIC VIDEO DLDKDJSJSKSLSLKSKSJSHSH and yeah i have to say harry’s style (styles lol) as a solo artist isn‘t reaaally my cup of tea, and i only like the popular songs from his second album and the first album is only good when i‘m in the right mood (haven‘t actually listened to it in a while though, but kiwi is one of my all time favourites along with only angel but i hate the start, like it takes 40 seconds to actually begin properly). i like mgk and because of him i watched the dirt which is a film about motley crue, and now one of my favourite songs ever is same ol situation and i‘m into rock now lol. +++ justin bieber. I had a justin bieber cardboard cutout thingy😭 i was the biggest Belieber on earth when i was 13-16, but i didn‘t like his last album and tbh he‘s become a bit weird lately, BUT OH MY GOD. i Listened to his new album yesterday and i‘m in LOVE with the song hold on

i really like niall‘s music toooo!!!! And doja cat 😌😌😌😌 And THE VAMPS OG MY GOD. i got to see them live bc they were the opening/support act for little mix and ajdsjskslslsjsjsj. (Also i love concerts, some of the best memories of my life are concerts, i‘ve seen nicki minaj live 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and justin twice and my heart fills every time i think about how excited i was, it was my first concert ever (16th of September 2016 😌) and i was the happiest person alive seeing justin drew fucking bieber (even if i‘m not tooo sure about justin nowadays)

i have a confession? Idk what hamilton is. I mean I‘ve heard about it and i keep googling it but i‘ve never watched it (is it even a film???? or like a proper musical? also pls tell me you grew up with high school musical. i have a few friends who didn‘t and it makes me so sad 😭😭😭 hsm is the best thing to happen to my childhood , the sooooongs— i still listen to some of them every week or month lool they make me so happy)

(Okay wait i was about to recommend some stormzy songs but you said you‘re not that into rap so i won‘t dksksjl)

What you said about my fic AHSLSLSJB (i wasn‘t sure if you sent an ask about it earlier? idk that might have been someone else, so if it was (and you‘ve read it already) i hope you liked it sksjsj i was...... unsure about it. and i have this reeaaallly long peter fic that i started writing in december and that‘s the only peter thing i currently want to write but also i can‘t because idk how to continue kddjj.) but I’m definitely getting back into writing i have a few blurbs that i want to write so 🥰🥰🥰

Oh and pls as soon as you read this let me know: violet or yellow? (it‘s just a tiny thing for my new theme slsksj)

#lovely anon #BY THE WAY: do not feel bad or apologise for not answering straight away #you can take your time i know it can be exhausting (not bc its anything bad but just because its so much and so long) to answer to my shit #all at once*#so really i don‘t mind if you take a few days or a week or whatever to respond #or if you want to you can respond bit by bit/topic by topic whenever you feel like it #so you don‘t have to concentrate on an ask and my post for like AN HOUR DLSKJ but rather do it in smaller chunks #if you want <3 #btw i‘m always so scared that i‘ll type lonely anon instead of lovely dldjdjsksk so if i ever do that i‘m just being #(cue your autocorrect dldkdj) a dumb bitch #its 1 am now sorry if there are any mistakes (i‘ll stop apologing from now now lol but i still am sorry you have to read my word vomit lmao)#*apologis #*from now on #omg

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nishithunder · 4 years

Text

Fall (Kuroo x Reader)

He never meant to fall, and she never intended to catch him.

TW: Mental health struggles, Cursing, Drug use

Part 4: I’m sorry that I don’t feel the same way...

Masterlist

The training camp almost went by in a blur, and when it came to the last night there, Y/N wasn’t ready to go. One more night before her friends that she had missed so much had to go back home. Yeah, they at least got to spend a little bit of time together during the training camp, but it just didn’t feel like enough to her. Tora had noticed that she seemed different, like she wasn’t as happy today as she had been for the past couple days, and all he knew is that he wanted to help her. After the final practice game for this camp, Tora went out of his way to find her, wanting nothing more than to talk to Y/N, and figure out what he could do to make her better.

Y/N stood near the door, her back against the wall as she watched the boys pick up the balls and put away the net. Her heart felt heavy, like it was being weighed down, threatening to plummet into her stomach at any moment. Tora caught her off guard as he stood in front of her, looking down with a soft smile.

“The stars are out pretty bright tonight,” Tora began, mentally kicking himself for sounding so lame as he spoke to her, “I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go on a walk with me?” He finally mumbled out. Tora was never like this, so nervous and shy. He was always so loud, rambunctious even. That might have been the reason that Y/N had taken a liking to Tora, because he reminded her a bit of Tanaka.

“Yeah, we can go for a walk. If you’re done here,” Y/N quickly added, looking over to the door quickly. She had been waiting for a reason to leave the gym, no longer wanting to stand in the humid space. Tora nodded his head, waiting for her to take the lead towards the door, which she did gratefully. The night air outside hit her face, making her feel like she could breathe once again. She waited a moment for Tora to be at her side before she began walking, not sure where she was taking them, but nonetheless leading the way. Tora watched her quietly out of the corner of his eye, not wanting to miss a second of the moment that they had together, because he was sure it wouldn’t be like this when they began attending classes again. Kuroo was the one to walk with Y/N at night, their bond was much different that Tora’s was with Y/N. Though he wanted to be close to her, he was afraid that she would take it the wrong way.

“Hey, Tora?” Y/N asked, catching Tora out of his daze. He looked over at her as they walked, noticing that her face was calm and serious. This was not about to be a joking question that she was going to ask him, this was going to be something that she genuinely wanted the answer to.

“Yeah?” Tora asked, trying to sound as calm as she was, though his heart was starting to beat a little harder in his chest.

“Why are you so nice to me?” She asked, walking towards a patch of grass off the sidewalk. Tora followed, watching as she sat down, looking up at the sky that hung above them. Tora sat down beside her, holding his knees to his chest, his fingers interlocking in front of him, before Y/N continued, “You don’t have to be nice to me just because if the teams manager, I don’t expect you to like me to be honest, there really isn’t any reason to. I don’t talk to any of you. I’m quiet in class and between classes. I’m like Kenma but worse.” She finished with a sad look on her face, her eyes turned down for a moment before looking back up at the sky, dropping down onto her back. Tora felt almost shocked, not knowing that this was how Y/N was truly looking at herself all the time.

“I don’t think any of that stuff, you know. There’s so many reasons to like you. I could list off ten reasons that I like you right now, but I don’t need to. The main reason is that you’re unapologetically you, and that’s hard for some people to be. You’re quiet, yeah, but that doesn’t make you a bad person.” Tora ranted, almost not realizing that he was just venting to her at this point. Y/N looked down, trying to think of what to say before looking up at Tora.

“Have you watched that anime, A lull at Sea? The one where there are people that live on the land and in the sea, and they basically have their own society underwater?” Y/N asked, watching as Tora nodded slowly, having seen it on Netflix once and watching the entire season by himself, though he wouldn’t admit that to most people, “And you know how Monika says that if they find a red bellied sea slug, it was lucky and you could tell it your deepest secrets?” she continued, waiting for him to nod when he understood what she was talking about.

“Are you asking me to be your red bellied sea slug? You want to tell me your deepest secrets, Y/N-Chan?” He asked, meeting her eyes as he looked down, noticing that they sparkled the stars within them. She nodded, her eyes now seemingly sad as he looked into them. Tora gave her a small nod, indicating that she could begin spilling her secrets to him, something that he appreciated greatly, and he would take to the grave if she asked him to.

“Tora...as plainly and dramatic as I can put it, I don’t like myself. I look in the mirror most days and I just want to cry because I hate what I see. I don’t like the person that I am. I wish I was stronger, not just for myself but for my dad. I wish that leaving Kurosuno hadn’t broken every fiber of the spirit I once had. I wish I didn’t feel so broken anymore,” Y/N almost didn’t know how to stop talking at this point, this words falling out of her mouth faster than she could stop them, “Most of the time I feel like I’m annoying my friends, Nishinoya and Tanaka, and I’m afraid that they’re going to end up hating me. That’s why I’m so afraid to make new friends right now, I know that I get attached too easily and I’m afraid of being left behind. I don’t want to get hurt, and I’m trying so hard to protect myself but it’s so hard when I don’t want to be alone. It feels like the only way I can’t get hurt is by being alone. So I sit in my room whenever I’m not at school or at practice, by myself and smoking weed. That’s a whole issue of its own but I really don’t want to get into that right now...I’m not ready for that conversation yet.” Y/N finally stopped herself from talking, sitting up once again and holding on to her legs, eyes pointed directly at her feet and not moving from their spot. It was a lot for Tora to process all at once, everything connecting into one piece at the end, but he wasn’t sure what to say. He didn’t know if there really was anything that he could say to her, to change her feelings or at least let her know that he truly was there for her, no matter what she told him.

“I don’t know if there's really anything that I could do to make you feel different,” He began, pressing his hand gently into the small of her back, “But nothing you’re saying is going to scare me away from you. I care about you, Y/N.” He admitted smiling a little bit as she looked up at him. He couldn’t focus on anything other than her, it was like he had tunnel vision. She looked down shyly, not knowing how to handle the attention that she was getting at the moment, before he put a finger under her chin, lifting her chin so that their eyes met again.

“I won’t lie to you, Y/N. I think that I have feelings for you. Like...feelings that are stronger than for anyone else.” Tora said, his voice barely about a whisper. Y/N’s eyes widened at his words, her heart falling into her stomach as he said this, knowing that this was what was going to end their friendship. She was afraid of this moment, that something would be said that would just make it all crumble into nothing. She didn’t expect it to be like this though.

“Tora…” She said, her voice shaky as she said his name, too afraid of hurting his feelings in this moment. His expression instantly dropped at her voice, knowing that this was going to all end just as quickly as he had thought it had begun, “I’m so sorry...I really am. If I gave you the wrong idea, I’m sorry...but I don’t feel that way about you...I wish I did. I do. You’re a great person and an amazing friend. If I could have feelings for anyone...I think it would be you. But...I don’t know how to do that. I’m sorry that I don’t feel the same...” She admitted, her heart sinking lower and lower by the second. Tora chuckled, now leaning back onto the palms of his hands, eyes up to the sky as he smiled gently. This was not the reaction she was expecting from him, this was actually the exact opposite.

“I figured it would be that way...but I still want to be your friend. I’ll always cheer for you, Y/N,” He told her, shrugging his shoulders before looking over at her again, “I knew I couldn’t compete with Kuroo, but that’s okay.” Y/N looked at him in confusion, not understanding why he was bringing up Kuroo out of nowhere.

“Kuroo?” She asked, causing him to chuckle again before he stood up, offering her his hand so that she could stand as well.

“I know that you have feelings for Kuroo, it’s obvious. He’s obvious too, maybe moreso than you are.”

A/N: I know that this part is shorter than others, and I’ve been kind of afk for a fat minute. A lot has been going on in my life right now, as far as having a job and trying to find a different one. I also know that this is kind of late, but since this part does mention drugs, lets all just pretend that this is aged up and the school just so happen to have the same names because it’s just easier that way lmfao I’m sorry!

Tag List~

@yafriendlyfangirl @sokka-simp-420 @neodnyl @london-quynh

#kuroo x reader #Kuroo Tetsurō #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #nekoma x reader #kuroo tetsuro x reader #nishithunder masterlist

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loveluster · 4 years

Text

Gasoline

Summary: Jaehyung has reached his brink, the pain has become to unbearable and he can’t fucking do it. He makes his way to a gas station in the center of Seoul, contemplating whether he should proceed with taking his own life or not. Although he wishes for nothing more than to be free from the hell that is his own mind, the prospect of leaving the people he loves to pick up the broken pieces of what’s left of him leaves him hesitant.

Pairing: Park Jaehyung x Kang Younghyun (Brian)

Genre: Angst, canon divergence

Warnings: Suicide attempt(s), alcohol, drinking, depression, anxiety, self loathing, attempted overdosing, strong language, graphic

A/N: Just some neighborhood angst, i’m so sorry i love jae and brian, i’m just depressed, spare me please lmfao

You have received a new message, would you like to proceed with opening it? [Yes.] [No.]

Message accepted

From: Younghyun

‘Jaehyung, please, I am begging you hyung, come home. I promise you, this isn’t the way. Please pick up your phone, we’re so worried, and Sungjin is about 2 minutes away from sending all of Korea on a search hunt for you. We need you, we miss you, we love you. I love you. Please come home, it’s getting late and it isn’t safe. Please, Jaehyung. We love you.’

Message complete.

Jae sighed, clutching his cell phone in his hand while he laid hunched against the gas station bathroom wall.

“That’s the ninth one they’ve sent me.” He murmured to himself, deleting the message for the nth time. He was sure that they would send more, but he would simply keep deleting them.

It’s not that he didn’t care, honestly, the prospect of leaving his beloved members behind for the choice of an eternal slumber made his heart ache, but he couldn’t do it anymore.

His soul was exhausted, his entire being was. Each day was a perpetual cycle of mental anguish and anxiety, and he couldn’t cope with it.

And so, here he lies, slouched against the concrete floor of some gas station in the middle of Seoul, with a bottle of vodka in one hand, and sleep medication right beside it.

It’s not like this had been an impulsive decision, of course not, if he was going to end his own life, then he would do so with valid reasoning.

Although, the crippling voices and intrusive thoughts in his mind had only made the decision easier.

If he were to be completely honest with himself, there was a fragment of him that was strongly against this, urging him to leave the pills and alcohol, and return home to his members, the people he loved.

But this, it was too unbearable.

Believe it or not, he was a man of religion. He had grown up with a christian mother, and he himself even believed in the possibility of life after death. So he could only hope that he would be forgiven for the supposed sin he was about to commit.

Ping!

His train of thought was interrupted, he looked down at his phone to see yet another message from Younghyun.

Younghyun: Jaehyung, baby, please come home. We’ve searched all over for you, please at least let us know you’re okay

Younghyun: Jaehyung, please, come home, I promise you, it’s going to be okay

Younghyun: Whatever is going through your mind, whatever awful lies you’re being told, please, believe me when I say that you are worth so much

Younghyun: I know you are in pain, I know, but it’s going to be okay

Yonghyun: Please.

Suddenly, Jae had become all too aware of what he was actually about to do. It almost felt surreal, where did it go wrong, how could it go so fucking wrong!

Tears began streaming down his face, the screen became a blur of shapes and colors, and he just couldn’t stop.

He’s lying, you’re aware of that right? None of them actually care, they just couldn’t bear the guilt if anything were to actually happen, but in all honesty, they don’t care.

And there it is again, that disgusting voice that spews nothing but hatred and lies, but goddamnit, he can’t help but to believe them.

Do it, you won’t. Prove me wrong, you useless piece of shit.

Jae put down his phone, placing it beside him on the floor. He took a deep breath, picking up the bottle of prescription pills he had taken from their shared bathroom, they didn’t belong to him, but he couldn’t find anything else.

He hesitated for a moment, was he really about to do this, he tightened his grip on the bottle, his hands began to shake, he was terrified.

Anxiety began to swell inside of him, but he reminded himself that this would all be temporary, and that soon, he would be at peace. No more sleepless nights spent in his own self loathing, he wouldn’t spend hours upon hours in a constant cycle of anxiety and panic to the point he couldn’t even speak properly, the constant feeling of suffocation and fear would finally be relieved, he would be free.

But at what expense?

No choice could ever be made without a series of consequences and repercussions, even if he wouldn’t be the one to face them.

His family, his friends, his members, Younghyun.

God, he couldn’t imagine the kind of agony they would have to suffer because of him.

Don’t you want to be free? Don’t you want a moment's rest? Of relief? A chance to finally breathe? Do you actually think they care what happens to you?

He felt like he was in a constant argument with himself, god, he doesn’t even know what he wants, what he needs.

But I do.

Jae let his eyes fall shut, in attempts to allow himself to escape from the current reality he was in, he just needed a moment, please, for the love of god.

He opened them slowly, looking back down at the bottle of sleeping pills he was cradling in his hands.

Stop being a pussy, and just do it.

Slowly, he lifted one of his hands and went to unscrew the cap off, letting it fall to the floor.

He paused, staring down at the bottle, his hands went numb, the bottle slipped from his hands, hitting the floor, and he watched all the blue pills scatter across the cracked concrete.

He couldn’t do it. God, he couldn’t even do it.

Now, he had really begun to panic, realizing what he just attempted to do, how many people knew, how many people he worried, it wasn’t his intention, but-

Buzz.

Incoming call from Younghyun..

[Accept] [Deny]

Call forwarded.

“Jae, oh my god, baby, are you okay? Where are you? Are you hurt? Oh god, hyung-” Younghyun spoke frantically over the phone, he could hear clattering coming from the otherside of the line.

“I’m sorry, Brian, I’m so fucking sorry.” He choked out, feeling a familiar sting in his eyes, as tears rolled down his cheekbones once again.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, you’re okay. I’m going to be there, we all will be, I understand you’re in pain, I do.” Younghyun said gently, he could hear the faint sound of city traffic in the background. “But you need to talk to us, we’re only trying to help you. I promise.” “Okay.”

“Can you tell me where you are?” He asked, cautiously.

Jae looked around the rundown bathroom he was currently lying in. Oh.

“Gas station. Somewhere. Seoul.” His voice was raspy, and his words slurred from the copious amounts of alcohol he had drank prior.

“Joongang?”

He hummed in agreement, afraid of his voice betraying him any further.

“Okay, okay. I’m coming. Stay there. Don’t move, you’re going to be okay, I’ll be there soon.”

“Okay.” He murmured, barely above a whisper.

Younghyun stayed on the line, making small talk with the elder, and making sure he was okay and safe and conscious.

After what felt like an eternity of waiting in that grimey gas station bathroom, he heard a light knock on the door, followed by a ‘Jae, it’s me, please open the door.’

“It’s not locked.” Jae raised his voice a bit, in order for the younger to hear him.

Merely seconds later, the bathroom door was swung open. Younghyun instantly ran over to him, enveloping him in a hug, and placing a chaste kiss on his forehead.He looked around the room, and noticed the empty bottles of pills, and a bottle of Vodka.

He pulled away, cupping the boys cheeks.

“Jae hyung, I won’t be mad, but I need you to be honest, did you take those pills?” Jae could hear the terror in his voice, he could almost feel his heartbreaking.

“No. I dropped them..” He muttered, still slouched against the wall.

Younghyun let out a sigh of relief, pulling him against his chest, and carding his fingers through the blonde’s hair, massaging his scalp.

“Let’s go home, yeah? We’re going to figure this out, Jae, please don’t ever do this again. Please talk to us, talk to me.” He pleaded, his eyes glossing over a bit.

He nodded, leaning into the touch.

“Let’s get out of here, Sungjin nearly called the police, we were so worried.” He stood up, taking the elders hand and helping him up as well.

He leaned against his figure, stumbling out of the bathroom.

After hours of lying on that floor in his own depression and despair, he admits, it felt nice to finally have some fresh air. And to finally be near someone. If he’s being honest, he was mortified with himself, that he actually was that close to doing the unthinkable.

“I’m sorry.” Jae stopped walking, standing beside the younger’s vehicle, as he began breaking down into tears.

Whether he was willing to admit it or not, he didn’t realise how much he just needed someone to listen, the pain became too much to handle and he couldn’t suppress it any longer, so all at once his emotions resurfaced and he was overwhelmed.

Younghyun rushed over to him immediately, bringing him in for another hug, whispering him sweet melodies, and comforting words.

“We’re going to get through this, okay? It’s okay to talk about it Jae, we’re here to listen, sometimes, you just have to ask.”

And god, did that really do so fucking much for him.

#day6 #day6 younghyun #day6 jae #jaehyungparkian #depression #tw suicude #drinking #angst #canon divergence #self loathing #sorry for this #fanfic

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dumpsterd1va · 5 years

Text

Sometimes when Andrew wakes up, the world is trying to tell him too much. All the details crawl up his skin like ants. A million itches he can’t scratch warring for his attention, begging to be noticed, until the only escape is shutting all his doors.

And sometimes when he wakes up, he sees Neil.

okay so i tried editing my fic on mobile and then suddenly the whole thing deleted??? so then i had to wait till i got home to repost it lmfao... anyways fluffy domestic andreil w sensory hypersensitivity andrew because why the hell not (more under the cut!)

breathe me in

The crackle of heated oil. A muttered curse. The clanging of metal against metal. A single beep. The whirring of a fan. A dryness in the back of his throat.

He breathes in. He breathes out.

Sensations start to trickle in, anchoring him back to the waking world, but Andrew keeps his eyes closed, attempting to stay weightless for a little longer.

The slip of cotton between his calves. The muted thuds of paws against the hardwood. A pleading mewl. Fur in his face.

Shoving the offending creature away to the empty side of the bed, Andrew rolls onto his side.

Hair brushing against his ear. The squeak of the mattress. An ache in his shoulder. The scrape of a shirt tag against the nape of his neck.

The last one forces Andrew’s eyes open. Taking a cursory glance at the shirt, he realizes why the tag hadn’t been cut off as soon as it was purchased.

Said reason is pacing around a few feet away. The footsteps aren’t as subtle as they’re trying to be and Andrew lets his eyes close again as he focuses on the feeling of him.

Bare feet squeaking across the floor. The air tastes of burnt toast. A muffled chuckle. The faint scent of mint on the pillow.

He breathes in. He breathes out.

The world clicks into place and Andrew sits up, pulling himself out of bed and yanking a sweatshirt poking out of an overstuffed drawer. He feels the elastic of the sweatshirt protesting against his efforts but he pays it no mind. Instead, he gives his attention to the cool grooves of the wood beneath his feet and the faint sizzles and pops in the next room over.

He’s just finished putting on the sweatshirt, the worn cotton of it gliding around his triceps with every sway of his arms, when he steps into the kitchen.

And sometimes when he wakes up, he sees Neil.

He is hunched over the stove now, one arm pressed into the countertop, the other poised over it with a spatula. His hair is like a firecracker, sticking up in different directions and glowing shades of red, orange, and gold in the morning light. His eyes don’t betray any particular emotion but his lips are pursed, his hips cocked, his right foot tapping the ground. One of their cats, the one with the slightly less stupid name, is circling around his feet, face turned skyward.

When Andrew starts walking towards him, Neil flicks his gaze up and smiles, the closed lip one that takes place more in his eyes than his mouth.

“Morning.”

Andrew doesn’t grace him with a response, but slots himself into Neil’s side, head resting against his shoulder. Their hip bones click against each other. The fabric of his borrowed shirt bunches up against his arm.

He breathes in. He breathes out.

A brush of lips against his forehead. The rise and fall of his chest. The heat of the stove.

“How’d you sleep?”

Andrew shrugs. “No dreams.”

Neil’s smiling again, the burn scars under his eye stretching as he does so. Andrew traces the puckered lines with his thumb.

“It was a good night for both of us then,” Neil says. Nose crinkled. Tone light. Hand hovering over Andrew’s hip.

Leaning into the offered hand, Andrew closes his eyes. “Is that why you’re making a racket this early in the morning?”

Neil pulls him closer and squeezes. “I know you don’t speak French, but what I’m making is called an omelette.” He releases Andrew from his grasp. “Now be useful and get me a plate before it burns.”

Instead of heeding those words, Andrew collapses further into Neil, turning his face towards the thin cotton of Neil’s shirt.

The warmth of his skin. The rounded edges of his shoulder blade. The smell of detergent. The ridges of his scars.

Laughter shakes Neil’s shoulder and Andrew along with it. “Comfortable?”

Andrew grunts. “Tired.”

The vibrations of Neil’s laughter echo through him again. “C’mon Andrew." A deliberate nudge of his shoulder brings Andrew’s eyes level with Neil’s. The quirk of his lips. A mouthwatering aroma. A long stare.

He breathes in. He breathes out.

Andrew ghosts his fingertips under Neil’s chin and leans in closer and closer until he can feel a breath that is not his tickle his lips, before pulling back and strolling to the cabinets on the opposite wall.

Neil blinks. Once. Twice.

“Tease,” he mutters before turning back to the stove. Andrew allows the corner of his lip to tug upward for a brief second as several plates clink together in his hands.

After he sets the plates on the counter, he folds his arms and looks up at Neil.

The scrape of the spatula against the pan. Coconut shampoo. A tail brushing against his foot. The stove clicking shut. Sinewy muscles tensing in Neil’s forearm. Crumbs falling. The light flush of Neil’s ear that makes it look like a shell nestled in the warm sand of the beach.

Neil glances at Andrew and smirks. “What? Waiting for your reward for doing what you’re told for once?”

Andrew uncrosses his arms and reaches for Neil’s earlobe, rubbing it between his fingers. “You’re one to talk.”

Leaning into the touch, Neil chuckles. “You’re right. Enough talking.” He levels a look at Andrew that’s on fire despite the glacial blue of his eyes. “Let’s eat.”

The space between them shrinks in an instant but they’re still half a breath apart. Andrew’s whole body crawls with the feeling of not quite there touches, near kisses, and words almost said.

He loves it more than anything.

“Yes or no?”

The yes that falls from Neil’s lips is more like a heavy exhale, syrupy, delicious, and satisfying.

Andrew plucks that sweetness from Neil’s lips with his own, swallowing a shuddering breath that tastes like peppermint. He knows what he’s giving isn’t nearly as palatable, but Neil’s hunger still matches his own.

Hands find their way to the air around his hips. The question he asked Neil is returned to his lips and Andrew gives back the answer he’d taken. Thumbs rub circles around his hip bones. Fingers splay against the small of his back. The last inch of space vanishes so quickly that Andrew wonders if it was even there to begin with.

But he isn’t one to be distracted. With one more insistent press of swollen lips against a half formed moan, Andrew leans back just enough to remind Neil that air can exist between them before forgetting himself immediately against the hypnotic curve of Neil’s ear.

Tongue tracing the maze of skin. Teeth nibbling at the soft flesh. A sigh with a whimper buried deep within. Fingers digging deeper into his sides.

“So that’s what you wanted,” Neil huffs, voice dry and cracking like a log on fire.

Andrew hums against his ear and leaves Neil a trail of kisses to find later. One. Two. Three. Four. More and more until numbers become a meaningless soup in his mind.

When he’s confident he’s carved enough sensations along the slopes of his body for Neil to be feeling hours, days, weeks from now, he indulges himself in Neil’s parted lips once more.

“Andrew,” Neil whispers. It’s like a prayer and a curse all at once. It drips like honey down Andrew’s throat and he finds himself wanting more, more, more.

His roaming hands and tongue are rewarded when once again his own name is shoved against his mouth but now it tastes like spun sugar, light and sticky, simple and delicate.

It’s too much and not enough. It fills him up and breaks him down. It’s dizzying. It’s grounding. It’s his beginning and his end. He is lost. He is found.

He breathes in. He breathes out.

Neil.

Andrew’s not sure if he says it as much as radiates it, but the body pressed against him seems to hear it all the same. A smile, a sigh.

“You are everything,” Neil rasps. There’s a pink haze coloring his cheeks, but his eyes are clear. “Everything.”

Something spills inside Andrew and it’s like he’s a dam about to burst, a flame one breeze away from a wildfire.

“If you say you’re nothing, I might have to kill you.”

Neil is laughing now. It tastes like lemon drops. “No, I won’t say that anymore.” He nudges his nose against Andrew’s. “Unless you still want nothing.”

Sometimes when Andrew wakes up the world is trying to tell him too much. It always has and today is no different. Cool floors, hot flame. Spiced smoke, sweet air. Soft fur, sturdy shoulders. Itchy fabric, gentle gazes. Sharp words, lingering hands. Everything.

And Andrew knows he hasn’t wanted nothing for a long time.

But instead of answering, he leaves a kiss on Neil’s nose, then one on his cheek, then his chin, and jaw, and both eyelids. He’s created a whole new galaxy on Neil’s face before he finally replies, “I want breakfast.” Another kiss on an infuriating smile. “And a cigarette.”

When Neil peels himself away and squeezes Andrew’s hands in his own, a hush falls over his body except for the tingling in his fingers.

“You’re lucky I happen to have both.” Neil extricates a mostly empty and crumpled pack out of the pocket of his gym shorts and places it in Andrew’s hands. “Knock yourself out.”

“You have everything don’t you?” Andrew asks, the amusement in his voice well hidden by stoicism but Neil manages to find the traces of it anyways.

“I do.” He brings Andrew’s knuckles to his lips. The sensation is chapped yet damp and not at all unpleasant. “Jealous?”

Andrew rolls his eyes and brings his hands back to his body. Picking up a plate with what is now a very cold omelette, he says as he fishes a fork out of the drawer, “Why would I be? I have everything too.”

The rattling of silverware. A sharp inhale. Cool porcelain. A warm buzz.

A smile let loose, uncensored, laid bare, blinding like the sun. Andrew wonders how it tastes.

It tastes like melted ice cream.

“I have everything.” He’s repeated the words but the tone is new. Raw, coarse like gravel, hushed like snow. The way Neil swallows it up after he says it makes him wonder, for the first time, how his own words taste. If they’re worth this hunger.

“Yes, you do,” Neil murmurs after a moment. “And if I can manage to stop kissing you for five minutes, maybe you can have pancakes with chocolate sauce too.”

It’s too much. It’s too little. His heart is breaking. It is soaring. There is a heat pressing at the backs of his eyes. There is a chill deep in his bones. He is sinking. He is weightless. He’s living. He’s dying. He had nothing. He has everything.

He breathes in. He breathes out.

#andreil #aftg #all for the game #tfc #the foxhole court #i forget what i tagged here before but #soft boys are good for the soul #my fic

145 notes · View notes

chocojjk · 5 years

Text

Eggs

summary: badboy! changbin if you squint

words: 7k

warnings: one mention of death by illness

a/n: this took way too long cause i got so lazy lmfao, slide into my inbox with prompts cause idk what to write after this

not edited per usual, im lazy :(((

you and changbin lived in different worlds

changbin has always been the schools most notorious bad boy

along with his group, 3racha

he was the typical bad boy -- gets into fights, wears leather, barely shows up to class, etc.

after watching countless of rom-coms, you and i, reader, should know that bad boys like to keep to themselves

and they won't bother you unless you cross their territory, not at all different from changbin

someone bullies one of his friends???

you might as well run now , because he will be coming for your ass

he catches you talking shit?

you should probably say goodbye to your mouth and have a doctors appointment ready

the point im trying to make is that seo changbin does not take shit from anyone

which doesn't really matter at this point because everyone has learned to fear him

on the other hand, you're, what they say is a “good girl”

too caught up with your books and your grades, in the library 24/7, worrying too much about the future you envision

you stayed away from drama as much as possible, happy with the 2-3 friends that you have

and,,,

well,,,

you probably saw this coming,, but just in case you didnt, ill say it

your two different worlds are about to collide

---------------

youve been searching for a little over 20 minutes to where he could be when you finally spotted him at the table all way in the back of the library

you let out the deepest sigh, you shouldve figured he would choose that table jfc

‘he really is sticking to his reputation’ you think to yourself as you made your way over to him

“hi, im y/n, i'm your tutor,” you say, giving him a soft smile

changbin doesn't even bother to reply to you as he got up and left

you were left standing there like,,,

what the fuck just happened ??

before you finally snapped out of your confused trance and chased after him

catching up to him you grab his arm, putting a complete halt to his movement

and suddenly the library was even quieter than it should be

every single eye in the room focused on the interaction that lies in front of them

the notorious bad boy and the goody two shoes,,, how incredibly cliche

he looks at you, his eyes dark and unreadable

the expression on his face was emotionless yet it felt like he was crushing you under his stare

finally noticing that your hand was still gripped around his arm, you quickly let go, letting out a small “ehem”

the tension in the air was thick, it felt like someone just put a dark cloud above your head and you couldn’t blow it away

god damn this was awkward

not even the good awkward where you can laugh about it later, this is the kind of awkward situation that hits you in the middle of the night and suddenly you're just cringing at every bad thing you have done in the past

“uhm, im suppose to tutor you,” you try to say confidently as soon as you found your voice, but really it was barely above a whisper

“maybe show up on time,” he says, his voice as dark and as strong as his aura

and with one final look at you, he walked out of there

you didnt bother anymore, you knew you were at fault

‘we’ll try again tomorrow,’ you think to yourself before your best friend, hyunjin walked up to you, pulling you outside the library

“dude are you okay?”

“uhmm, why wouldn’t i be?”

“i just saw you talking to changbin”

“ok and ?”

“he’s bad news y/n,” your best friend says, warning you

“ i dont really have a choice hyunjin” you reply

you think back to 3 days ago when you were called to the principal's office

not gonna lie, you were shaking in your boots,, only bad kids get randomly sent to the principal's office

as you entered the room, Mrs. Seo was already waiting for you behind her desk

“hi ms. l/n, i dont think weve formally met,” she says, reaching out to shake your hand

“ its nice to meet you”

“ please, sit down, make yourself comfortable,” she continued, pointing to the seat right in front of her

sensing your nervousness she quickly added a, “don't worry, you're not in trouble”

phew

your brain was starting to hurt from trying to rack what you must have done wrong to be seated in the big office

“ why am i here then if you don't mind me asking?”

“ ah yes, i need you to tutor my son”

,,,,,

(◎_◎;)

,,,

“umm, why me?”

“you're top 1 in the class, is there anyone better than you to do it?”

well,,, she wasn't wrong

you mentally pat yourself at the back for this, happy that your efforts were being noticed

“don't worry ms. l/n, if you succeed, i’ll make sure you get into any college that you desire “

‘pshhhh, im top 1 ms seo, i can do that on my own’ you think to yourself

“....and fully paid for.”

well, shit , how can you say no to that offer

its literally free education right in your fingertips

what's the catch??

“ you can do that?” you ask

“ of course. i know very important people. so what do you say?”

and after a few minutes of contemplating within yourself, you finally agreed

“ also, while you're at it, i want you to change my son's reputation.”

and there it is

“ i'm sorry?” you reply,, maybe you just misheard the fact that she literally asked you to change her son

“ i don't just want you to tutor him in english, i want you to make him a better person.”

“how do you expect me to do that?”

“be his friend. teach him the ways of life, i'm not always gonna be around to get him out of trouble. You're a smart girl ms. l/n you'll figure it out.”

without giving you a final say, she ushered you out of there but not before she added

“ one last thing ms. l/n, dont tell anyone about this.”

the way she said it was so scary, and its like a spell was casted on you and you could only utter out an

“ of course mam”

i guess from her standpoint, she made sense

“ i just dont understand why Mrs. Seo chose you out of all the people”

“ we’ve already gon over this hyunjin”

“ yeah yeah, its cause youre the smartest of the class-”

hyunjin continues to talk however you’ve tuned him out as your eyes went to focus on changbin, himself

greeting the rest of his friends, an actual smile on his face, much different from the changbin you encountered a couple minutes ago

he gets up on his motorcycle and was about ready to put his helmet on when he felt someone staring at him ( i told yall, tYpiCAl bad boy )

he whips his head around in quick search for the culprit

and for the second time that day, you found yourself looking in the dark brown eyes of the the one and only, seo changbin

his smile quickly disappearing once he found your eyes

putting on his helmet whilst still maintaining the eye contact, he quickly drove away and you can't help but continue to just watch his figure retreat to the size of a dot until he was completely away from your line of vision

the next day - friday

you were in the library, seated in the table changbin used the day before

unlike yesterday, you were there dummy early

exactly 30 minutes before the actual tutoring session

he wasn't going to get away this time

finally , the chair across from you gets occupied, a backpack loudly flopping its way unto the table

he doesn't say a word,

he doesn't even look at you

he just sits there, staring at the table between you guys

“uhm, i think we got on the wrong foot yesterday, im y/n”

you say, a wide smile on your face, trying to change the atmosphere

he scoffs at this

‘omyfuckinggod who does he think he is’

‘im gonna fucking murder this kid’

‘his mom was right when he said he needed to change’

as much as you wanted to just punch him in the face, you plastered a small smile on your face instead

“should we start?” you continue

“i guess”

for the next hour, you learn that changbin doesn’t even need tutoring

he was definitely smarter than he lead on

he knew the answer to every single question you asked and didnt even seem like he was trying

“uhmm, changbin can i ask you something?”

he just nods at you, urging you to go on

“are you failing your class on purpose?”

and with that he stands up, giving you a small smirk, “i think this session is over,”

“i-okay- i-i’ll see you on monday!” you say even though he was already a good 5 feet away from you

-----------

as you laid in your bed that night, you wondered why the boy chose to fail his class

but no matter what scenario you could think of, you just cant understand it

is this what privileged people do ?

they know that they can get away with anything so they dont even try ?

‘aish, why am i thinking about him,’

‘y/n stop it’

‘ahhhhh’

you tried forcing yourself to sleep, to completely shut off all thoughts

but damn that stupid smirk on his face just keeps reappearing

and with that you slapped your pillow unto your face, not at all excited for the days to come

saturday night - 9 pm

to be honest, you weren't the type to go out on a saturday night

however you stayed in bed the whole day binging your netflix shows that you completely forgot to run your errands

so now you're here, at the local supermarket, buying your weekly groceries

you may be asking why can't your parents just do it?

well,,,

you only live with your mom, and she was very busy running the night shift at the hospital + picking up extra shifts

so she's really never home

and when she is, she crashes right to sleep, exhausted from work

so ever since two years ago, when you turned 16, this has been the life that you were used to

you weren't complaining of course, she was only working to provide for you and your future

the least you could do is help around the house

after a good 7 minutes, you finally gathered everything that you needed

eggs, check

bread, check

peanut butter, check

a bag of hot cheetos,,,, check check and check

you nodded, proud of yourself for finishing it so fast and made your way to your car until a loud crash stops you from doing so

the next thing you know, you were being dragged into the alleyway

“1!!!!1111! I- get off of me,” you say thrashing and kicking, trying to get away

‘oh god, im gonna die tonight,’

‘if there is a god out there,, pls,,, not tonight’

‘i haven't finished my netflix series yet,, plssss’

however your thoughts were cut short when your captor whispered, “shhh, its changbin”

changbin??

chaNgbIN???

chANGBIN???

he finally turns you around, making you face him

“play along if you don't want to get hurt,”

and in one quick motion, his lips were on yours,,,

seo changbin was kissing you

your eyes open, stunned at what was happening

and then you noticed it...5 men walking around the area

and hoping that you've watched the right dramas, you pieced together what you think is happening

leading you to closing your eyes and kissing him back

which honestly caught changbin off guard, “good girls” dont react this way???

but he’d never let you know that, as he pulled you closer to him,

his arms snaking around your waist

your hands going around his neck, the grocery bag being forgotten

yall were full on making out now

too caught up with each other’s taste to even notice the 5 guys leaving

(((im really bad at writing these kinds of scenes jfc, this sounds awkward as hell pls just picture it)))

until finally after like 23823 years, you pulled away, trying to catch your breath

damn, that kiss was good

probably the best one you’ve ever had

what????

just cause you're a goody-two-shoes doesn't mean you haven't been kissed before okay,,, were not going THAT cliche

he slowly lets go of you, his eyes darting to the grocery bag on the ground

“your eggs are broken,” he says

“m-my eggs?”, you reply, still on cloud nine,

following his gaze, you snapped out of your daze

“oh, r-right, my eggs,” you say softly, a frown making its way upon your face

changbin grabs your hand, pulling you towards the grocery store

“what are you doing?”

as usual, he doesn’t reply

honestly, you should be used to this by now

he dashes around the supermarket

you were right behind him, trying to keep up with his fast paced speed

finally, he gets to his location, the egg aisle

“which one do you want?”

“what?”

“eggs, which one?” he replies

“uhm, you don't have to, i can ju-”

“i'm not doing this for you,” he replies, cutting you off

you looked at him , not knowing what he meant

‘if he wasn't doing it for me then who the fuck is he buying these eggs for, i don't see anyone else here’

sensing your dumbness he grabbed a carton of the most expensive eggs and made his way to the cashier, pulling you along

and you don't know why, or what has gotten into you, but all you could do was watch and follow

“here. were even now.” he says, before walking away, leaving you in front of the grocery store, holding a carton of eggs

monday

and now we’re back to the start of the week

which means another week of tutoring

as you waited for changbin to show up at the usual spot, you can’t help but think back to two nights ago

the feeling of his lips against yours all a distant memory yet at the same time, one that you could still remember clearly

“hey,” changbin says, breaking you out of your thoughts

“hi?” you reply, confused as to why he even greeted you in the first place

you guys do the usual, read a couple of flash cards, learn new words blah blah blah and all that boring crap that you learn in a high school English class

at one point you guys find yourself just sat in silence, and you can’t help but ask the question that’s been on your mind since Saturday night

“so who were those guys?”

“doesn’t concern you”

“uhm, the fact that you had your tongue down my mouth says otherwise,”

changbin was shocked, he wasn’t used to people responding to him the way you just did

don’t you know who he is???

he gives you one of his signature smirks, regaining his composure

“you liked my tongue being down your throat,” he says teasingly

o_O

＜(。_。)＞

excuse me what

is he flirting with you ??

what’s happening ??

“who said I did?” you say mimicking his tone, not allowing yourself to back down of this conversation

after Saturday night you told yourself that you were never going to just watch and follow

if you didn’t want the damn egg, you should’ve said something, you were so disappointed in yourself

you had your own brain, you can make your own decisions

besides you were here to be in control over him, not the other way around

“oh cmon, you’re really gonna try to refute it??” he says, the stupid smirk still evident on his stupid face

god, how you wish you could just smack it off

with your mouth

wait, who said that???

“you enjoyed it just as much as I did,” you say, knowing that if you answer then he would stop

and you were right, he completely shut his mouth and let the silence envelop you once again

“they were kids from another school,”

you look up at him, shocked that he actually answered

“why were they looking for you?”

“I may have keyed their car,” he says chuckling

“Because?”

“Isn’t that enough questions y/n?”

y/n

that was the first time he’s ever said your name

and you weren’t gonna lie, you liked how it sounded

“sorry”

“it’s fine”

“i don’t want to question it but why are you being so nice?”

“you helped me out without questioning me which means you trust me. im just returning the favor.”

“so, what im hearing is , you trust me?”

<(￣︶￣)>

“don’t make me have to say it out loud”

trust

you don’t know how you did it so quickly,

maybe the gods are at your side, but you finally got thE seo changbin to trust you

2 weeks later

you’ve been tutoring changbin just the same

same time

same table

same library

however, so much has changed

mostly the dynamic of your guys’ relationship

it was like he was a totally different person

like I said before, changbin was smart

but in these last couple of days, you realized just how smart he actually was,

he can honestly probably give you a run for your money

and because of this, your past tutoring sessions have ended up with you guys just laughing and joking around

weird, right ?

changbin and laughing ?

who would’ve thought ??

even onlookers were surprised

and everytime changbin laughed at one of your guys’ silly antics, you swear you can hear a pin drop

the whole room just becomes silent

at first, it bothered you how people were just listening in to your conversation, obviously judging the scene

but as the days went by and it seemed that changbin could care less, you started not caring either

and if you were being completely honest, you looked forward to spending time with him

when changbin was with you, it was just you and changbin, nothing else

he somehow manages to make you forget about reality

“lets ditch tutoring sessions today,” he says as soon as he took the seat next to you

“changbin, no”

“c’mon y/n, live a little”

“excuse you! I do have a life!”

“making out with your homework and watching Netflix shows 24/7 is not a life”

“okAy, now you’re just being mean,” you say, pouting at him

“im not being mean, I’m being honest,”

“yeAH and?? no one asked for your honesty,”

changbin laughs at this

lately he found himself laughing more

and for once, he didn’t mind it

you were doing something to him

and he liked it

“cmon, I’m not taking no for an answer,” he says, packing up your things

you sigh in defeat

you know that once changbin sets his mind to something, there's no changing it

so here you are, standing in front of an abandoned music building

“uhhhh, what are we doing here?”

“have you ever trespassed before?” he replies, a smug smile on his face

“nu-uh nope, no way in hell changbin!” you say, your attempt to stop this from happening

however, changbin was already making his way towards the door, completely breaking the lock

aannnndd

he was inside

“c’mon y/n,” he says reaching out his hand to yours

even though all you need to do is take two steps forward and you're officially a criminal

you were scared shitless

what happens if you get caught omg

almost like he was reading your mind, he quickly says, “y/n, ive been here over a million times and ive never gotten caught,”

“i dont know changbin”

“hm, thats too bad, i wanted to share a secret with you,” he says, a hint of playfulness in his voice before he stepped out of the building and made his way towards his motorcycle

but of course,,,

you being a nosy bitch

“wait,”

“yes?”

“lets go inside”

you guys enter the building, the rooms getting darker and darker the deeper you go (this building is huge okAY)

if you weren't shitting your pants before, you definitely are now

an abandoned building???

and its dark???

youve seen this in every scary movie out there

it never goes well

“uhm changbin,” you whisper, as you guys continue to walk

“hm”

“i-um can i hold your hand? im scared and - actually you know what its fine its dumb you dont hav-”

but before you can even finish your sentence, his hand were already laced around yours, providing you the comfort and security that you were looking for

you shut your mouth after that, just letting changbin lead the way

passing by so many rooms, each one looking the same as the other, it was starting to feel like a maze

however , changbin seemed to know exactly where to go

‘I guess he has been here over a million times’ you thought to yourself

“were here,” he says, opening the door and letting go of your hands as he reached out for the lights

not gonna lie, you were missing the way his hand felt around yours but thats not the time to think about that

“a music room?” you asked, clearly puzzled

“yeah, you might not know this about me but i can spit barsss,” he says, letting out chuckle

“eyE”

“you dont believe me huh”

“absolutely not”

“ok, watch this”

and with that he entered the recording booth, of course not after he pressed a bunch of buttons

honestly , you have no idea what he’s doing

but as soon as he put the headphones on

*cue any 3racha song because im too indecisive to choose one*

he was,,

indeed,,,

spitting bars

you could not believe your ears

who the fuck is this

you stood there, stunned at the fact the he was rapping about real shit and not something stupid and meaningless (rip wow, she is meaNinGFUL to me okAY)

after he finished rapping, the room was absolute silent

changbin felt dumb, he thought you were gonna praise him but there you were not uttering a single word,

he need you to say something ,anything,, hell, you can even laugh

he’d prefer anything over the silence

he’s literally the ‘i just showed u my dick pls respond’ meme but its like ‘i showed u my talent pls validate me’

avoiding to make eye contact with you, he walks out of the recording booth

sitting on the couch against the wall, he finally breaks the silence

“so yeah, thats a song my friends and i wrote, its stupid-”

“its not stupid.” you say quickly

“oh?”

“since when where you into this?” you ask, curiosity filling your eyes, taking the seat right next to him

“what do you mean? music?? everyone’s into music y/n” changbin retorts, not wanting to go into detail

“hhhh, you know what i mean changbin,”

changbin doesnt know why

but he wanted to share this side of him with you

maybe because you were the first person that he has ever allowed himself to be close with

or maybe it was because you stuck around him for this long, no one, besides chan and jisung were able to do that

whatever it was, he wants to keep you by his side

he figured that showing you his true self would do just that

so after having a battle with his inner thoughts, he finally says

“my dad was really into this stuff, he taught me everything i know,” changbin beamed

“oh! thats really cool, do you still make music with him?” you say, genuinely interested, youve never really heard about his dad before

“uhmm, hes not really around for me to do that,”

aaaannd,,, thats why,, god reader smh

“oh, im sorry,” you say softly, mentally slapping yourself

“no its okay, you didnt know….he passed away when i was 11”

“what happened?,,,, y-you dont have to tell me if you dont want to,” you quickly added

“I want to,” changbin says, reassuring you

“he just,,, he just died in his sleep, apparently it was a stroke,” sighing, he looked up at the ceiling, trying to hold back his tears

“you must miss him,” you say, your voice still soft

for the first time since youve met changbin, he resembled a piece of glass

so fragile

he was giving you a piece of him, letting you see clearly a part of who he was

and all you wanna do is make sure that you won’t break that piece

“he built this studio...wanted to start his own music company,” he continued as you sat there just listening to him

“my mom hates it though, she stopped funding this place as soon as she can,”

the mention of his mom suddenly brought you back to the deal that you have made 2 weeks ago

and god, you felt guilty

you were here, trying to change him, when nothing should be changed

sure seo changbin had a bad reputation but he is not bad

he’s just protective is all

to be honest, he was one of the kindest, gentlest soul you have met

“i promised myself that i would continue our dream, for him and me, but mostly for him,”

“i-is that why youre failing your classes?” you ask, everything finally piecing together

“huh?”

“you dont care about school because you already know what you want to do...where you want to be”

“hm, you truly are a smart girl y/n,” he says before nodding and flashing you a smile

those words

so similar to the ones his mom has given you

but this time you weren't in the mood to pat yourself in the back

because shit, this is thE dumbest thing you've ever done in your life

after hearing this, you made up your mind, you werent gonna partake in this deal anymore

if you were really as smart as everyone says, you can get into the school you want without any problem

sure it won't be free, but your mom aint working her ass off during her nightly shifts for nothing

and so, right when you go to school tomorrow, you were determined to end it

you’d still tutor changbin, you just won't accept any of the perks that came along with it

“thank you for sharing this with me,” you say genuinely, a smile creeping unto your face

“thank you for caring enough to listen,” changbin replies, his smile getting wider

and then it hits you,

“wait, so you mean to tell me that this is YOUR studio all along??”

and at this changbin lets out the loudest laugh

and you can't help but mirror his actions

1 week later

oof, that time jump, i thought you were gonna end it the next day reader

welp,,

you work hard, but somehow satan, aka the author, works harder

Mrs. Seo had to leave for two weeks, attending board meetings around the country, and whatever principals do,,, i'm too lazy to research what they actually do

╥﹏╥

and so you spent another week, with seo changbin by your side

one week down, another to go

and when that day comes, you can finally freely hang out with him without all the guilt eating you up

this week you guys even hung out outside of the library

you’ve been with him so much, even your friends have started to notice it

“y/n, are you coming with us to the movies,” felix asks

“oh,, umm sorry guys, i cant,”

“who else are you gonna be with? i thought we were your only friends,” minho pointed out, a pout on his face

“with changbin of course,” hyunjin hissed, obviously upset that you have been pushing them to the side

“ i can hang out with anyone that i want,” you argued, really not having any of his attitude

“ you shouldnt hang out with people like him,” hyunjin retorted

you scoffed, “what’s that supposed to mean?”

“i mean blink once if youre being held captive” hyunjin joked, as the rest of the table snickered

however, you didn't find it funny,

who were they to talk about changbin like that??

they didnt even know him

and so you stood up, leaving all your friends calling out for you

-------------

walking to the table, you flopped down on your chair, slamming your backpack on the floor

“what's got you in such a bad mood?” changbin asks

“nothing,” you huffed, getting your materials out of your backpack

you didn't want to tell changbin that your best friends think hes the devil himself and didn't want you around him

meanwhile , changbin was annoyed

it seems like he's shared so much with you since the music room yet he still barely knows anything about you

he wondered that maybe you didn't want to be in his life the way he wanted to be in yours

but fuck it, he’s just gonna spend the time he has with you enjoying it rather than filling his mind with negative thoughts

but damn, you're frown was really bothering him

“y/n,” he says, calling out to you

no response

“y/n,” he continues, poking you on the elbow

still no response

“y/n”

You sigh, looking up at him, an emotionless expression on your face, you responded with a strong, “what.”

*insert changbin doing aegyo*

and with that , you lost it

you were an absolute madman

you never expected that the one and only seo changbin

notorious badboy

would ever do aegyo

all because you had a stupid frown on yourself

you laughed so loud

changbin doing the same as soon as your melodic laugh hit his ears

which resulted to you guys being kicked out of the library

-------------

“ i cant believe you got me kicked out of my favorite place,” you say, seated in a booth inside the ice cream parlor near your guys’ school

another one of changbins ideas

“ hey its not my fault you laugh like a hyena!” he says smiling before you threw a curled up paper tissue at his face

a couple of seconds later, after your laughter has died down

“ so, you want to tell me now why you were in such a sour mood?”

you knew that if you werent gonna tell him now that would still end up finding out about it from someone else

and so you came clean

“ its just my friends,,,, they dont think youre a good influence, wants me to stop hanging out with you” you say

“ oh,”

“ but dont worry!, i didnt listen to them, i actually told them off,” you confessed

“ why didnt you listen to them? theyve been your friends longer than youve known me?” he asks

“ because they dont know you” you reply, “and im sure if they did, they would also be friends with you”

as much as he appreciated the way you stood up for him, he didnt want you going through all that trouble

‘god, what did he even do to deserve an angel like you,’ changbin thinks to himself

“ don't tell them off next time,” he grunted

“ wh-what?”

“ everything they say about me is true”

“ changbin, no its not”

“ honestly y/n it doesnt bother me so dont let it bother you”

“ why doesnt it bother you?” you ask, wanting to know the reason

“ because its high school. after this, literally no one would care anymore. and then real life starts, people move on and worry about bigger things, things that actually matter more than the status quo. let them say what they say.”

and just like every other time, changbin has left you stunned

the arrival of Ms. Seo - tuesday

a week has passed since the ice cream parlor

and Ms. Seo was back in town

this was it

the day you finally put a halt to it

and you were beyond ready

you haven't seen changbin all day

you figured that since his mom was back then he was also back to avoiding the school like it was a plague

you entered Ms. Seos room, determined

“Ms. Seo -”

She puts a hand up to her lips, signaling you to be quiet

‘bitch omygod i literally cant keep doing this any longer,’

‘its already been over a month’

so you ignored her warning

“im not doing this deal anymore. I’ll still tutor changbin but I won’t change him,,,, and you can keep your stupid money,” you let out, releasing all the bottled up emotions

“is that all,”she replies

“yes”

“then you may leave”

what???

it was that easy????

you thought she was gonna stop you, force you to hold your end of the bargain

if you knew it would’ve been this easy then you wouldn’t have worried over it so much

but you don’t know a lot of things

and you certainly didnt know that changbin was on the other line

later that day

you’re seated in the library

usual place, usual time, waiting for the one and only seo changbin, yet he never showed

you didn’t think much of it

‘maybe he just forgot’ you tell yourself

the next day - wednesday

here you were again, waiting for him

still nothing

you try and think of reasons why he wouldn’t show up two days in a row and can really only think of one - maybe his mom told him that he didn’t need tutoring anymore?

but surely, he would tell you

right ???

sure you guys started off on the wrong foot but you were friends now

at least you thought so

you decided to just give him the benefit of the doubt

‘maybe he’s just busy’

2 days later - friday

you’ve tried everything you can do to get a hold of changbin

all your calls went straight to voicemail

texts were left on delivered

you didn’t even see him around school anymore

it was like your worlds never collided and he was never a part of yours

you were starting to get worried, what if he got himself into trouble

“look who decided to show her face,” hyunjin comments as you took the seat next to him

ever since the day you guys had your argument, you have never been able to talk to him about it

“im not in the mood,” you reply,

hyunjin sensing that you were exhausted,

“hey,” he says softly, “what’s wrong?”

“nothing”

“y/n please, we’ve been friends for over 3 years, you don’t need to lie to me”

“aren’t you mad at me?”

“no. im upset that you’ve been pushing us to the side for your little boy toy but im not mad,” he says giving you a soft smile

hhhhh, it was times like these you remember why he was your best friend

hyunjin was just so thoughtful, so caring

you return the smile he gave you as you pulled him in for a tight hug

“I’m sorry hyunjin”

“it’s okay, im sorry too, now tell me what’s wrong?”

“it’s just changbin-“

“I swear to god, if he even laid a finger on you he’s a dead man”

“no!” you say quickly putting an end to his assumption

“so what happened?” he asks, eyebrows going up in sheer curiosity

and then you told him

you told him about the deal with Ms. seo

about how your relationship with changbin changed along the way

how you ended the deal

and now we’re back to changbin and ignoring you

“damn, well have you tried actually going to him?”

“i wouldnt even know where -”

and then it hits you

the abandoned music building

“hyunjin, youre a genius!!!,” you say excitedly

“thanks, we been knew”

“ i have to go ill explain later, bye!!” you say, dashing out of there as fast as you could and made your way to the abandoned building

taking the bus there gave you time to reflect on everything that has happened this past couple month

how much your life has changed since changbin entered it

he pushed you to take risks, to live out of your comfort zone, to not care about other people’s opinions

he made you feel free

and most importantly, he made you happy

the good girl has fallen for the bad boy, i told yall this was gonna be cliche right?

continuing on

just as you expected, the door was open

the dark didnt even bother you anymore, the only thing in your mind was changbin

oh,, where could he be??

could you ever find your way into this maze of a building and retrace the steps that he took when he was by your side?

as you got deeper and deeper into the building, you feel yourself start to get lost

‘fuck i already saw this door’

‘omg y/n did you really just walk in a circle’

and then you hear it

music, singing

your nightingale

you walk faster, desperate to get to the voice

and here you are now, face to face with the one and only, seo changbin

he stops singing as soon as he saw you walk in

“hey,” you whisper out yet he continued to just stand there, not uttering a single word

“your voice is really pretty, i didnt know you could sing!-”

“what do you want?” his voice, dark and firm just like the day you first met him

This caught you off guard

Did you do something wrong?

“Did i do something wrong?” you say, not aware that you have said your thoughts out loud

changbin chuckles but it was so uninviting, like he was taunting you

“ please, drop the act”

?????

“what?” you reply, completely confused

“ you dont like me ”

“ changbin, what?”

“ you're just like everyone else”

“ changbin i really dont understand pl-”

“ i shouldn't have trusted you.”

“ what?!??, no changbin, you can trust me! just tell me whats wrong!”

all the while, you guys were still talking with a glass between the two of you

ironic, since you felt like a wall has been planted around changbin and you cant reach him

“ you think i should change”

“ no”

“ what do you mean no? I heard you y/n! I heard what you told my mom, i heard about the stupid deal, the stupid money!”

(⊙…⊙,)

“ changbin, let me explain”

“ i know im known as the bad boy y/n, but you… youre even worse than me”

“ changbin.”

“ youre a monster”

and with hearing those words, the tears that you have been so desperately trying to keep just bursted out like a waterfall

changbin too, has let out his tears

and all we got now are two broken people who can clearly see each other yet are still on opposite sides of the glass

“ you're just like everyone out there that you have resented, you judged me by other people’s words, i thought- i thought that i can finally found someone i could open up to but you never even gave me chance from the beginning”

you let him talk without interrupting him

you deserved the ache you were feeling in your heart

everything he said was true

and with that he breaks down, straight to the floor, back against the wall, hugging his knees

and all you could do was watch, until you couldn't take it anymore

you finally entered the recording booth , taking a seat on the floor right next to him, mimicking his broken figure

“im sorry”

silence

you looked up at the ceiling as you sighed

he deserves an explanation

“ yes, i took the deal, but that's because i thought i needed it changbin. I may be smart, but financially my family isn't doing well. my mom already works extra shifts but it still won't be enough. my dad isnt even in the picture, i dont know where the hell he is”

and with this, changbins head slowly perks up, looking at you with his glass-like eyes, as you continued to stare at the ceiling

you were finally opening up to him

just like how he has been doing

“ i took the deal because, you’re right, i judged you, i was stupid and i never expected us to actually be friends, clearly i was wrong. you have taught me so much. you have pushed me into doing things i never thought i could do. you made me see the world in a different way.”

he’s still just listening to you when you finally took your eyes away from the ceiling and faced him

“ i understand if you dont want to see me anymore but i cant leave you knowing that i never got to say this,” you continue, afraid of the results that were about to come

“ what else are you hiding from me?” he says, but this time, he says it softly, the furious changbin that you have encountered just minutes ago was completely gone

“ i think im in love with you,” you say, quickly looking down, embarrassed at your confession

“ y/n look at me,”

“ i dont want to”

“ why?”

“ i know you're gonna break my heart”

“ you broke mine first,” and with that he lifted your chin up, making you look him straight into his eyes before kissing you

this kiss was different from your first one

it was slow but passionate, filled with all of the unsaid words between the two of you

your guys lips both slightly chapped from all the crying

yet his lips still felt like the softest pair against yours

pulling away, changbin leans his forehead against yours, his eyes closed

yours were open though, taking the sight all in before you pulled away, wiping away his left over tears

“ god, were a mess,” he finally says out loud, before he pulled you in a tight hug

“ im sorry,” you say again

“ i’ll forgive you if you promise to continue tutoring me?”

“ what ?”

“ continue the deal, get the money”

“ changbin, i really don't want to do that”

“ i know you dont. but we have to finesse my mom somehow,” he says, bursting into a smile, clearly joking

…

“eYE,,, i cannot believe you right now! You can't be serious!”

“ but i am. go back into her office tell her you’ll continue it and get the money for your education.”

“changbin! stop joking! I already feel bad about it!”

“Okay fine i just like it when you tutor me okay, its kinda sexy” he says

playfully slapping him, you guys laugh, the tension in the air finally gone

“ you know if you didnt buy me those eggs, we wouldnt be here by now,” you say, a small smile on your face

“ hmm, and why?”

“ because those eggs were the first time i realized that the most notorious bad boy, the one and only Seo Changbin, can also be soft,”

“ do not use my name and soft in the same sentence ever again,”

“ what are you gonna do about it?” you reply, taunting him

and so

he pulled you into another kiss

and another

until a series of laughter coming from the both of you interrupted it

“im glad i bought you those eggs”

hhhhhhh this ending is so rushed and so bad i just didnt wanna leave it unfinished

ALSO IM SEEING STRAY KIDS BITCHES!!!!!,,,,,, MY SEAT HELLA FAR BUTS ITS OKAY BECAUSE ILL STILL BE THERE ╭(′▽`)╭(′▽`)╯

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szopenhauer · 4 years

Text

How would you describe yourself in three words? me, myself, I

How would others describe you in three words? depends

Are you okay with long silences? Do they make you uncomfortable? depends

Do you believe in the paranormal? some

How high is your pain tolerance? high

Do you bite your nails?: nah When you use stairs, do you usually hold the rail?: probably Have you ever eaten a snail?: nope Have you ever been stung by a bee?: I haven’t yet luckily Are the best things in life really free?: no Have you ever planted a tree?: sure Are you wearing anything that’s gray?: not currently Are you more likely to text “Okay”, “OK” or just “K”?: ok or k or even kk but not okay When did you last check the time?: 20 minutes ago Do you keep spare change in a jar?: not in a jar Have you ever seen a deer (in real life)?: passing by (bus/train) Right now, what can you hear?: some noise from outside (neighbors’s music) and my parents’ voices Have you ever seen a bear (in real life)?: zoo Have you ever played Truth or Dare?: yup Are you wearing anything that’s blue?: not currently Have you ever eaten glue?: ewww, wtf Do you tend to buy clothes used or new?: used

How often do you take painkillers? basically never Do you own any leather? fake only Do you party because you like it or because you’re supposed to? I don’t party

Do you have a therapist? not anymore Have you ever wanted to be a superhero? why not Ever used an online dating site? few Have you ever gotten a good grade in math class? yeah Have you ever seen a ghost? I think so Have you parents ever walked in on you having sex? sexting Do you think someone would ever want to marry you? maybe Do you like Thanksgiving? I’m against it

Have you ever thought you were drowning? as a kid

Do straight people make you uncomfortable? sometimes lmfao Would you ever dye your hair pink? doubt it Are you embarassed about your sex life or lack there of? sigh... Are you good at making conversation? dunno Do you go on a lot of dates? recently Are you a comic book geek? I don’t read comics

Did you just think of sex? why would I? Have you ever heard of The Cranberries? obvi

Have you ever lived in a mobile home?: I wanted to buy one

Have you ever had your bedroom in a basement?: nope

Do you think it would be cool to have a lion as a pet?: not really

In the house - shoes, socks, slippers or bare feet?: slippers or socks at least

Do you consider dogs inside or outside pets?: more outside

Have you ever had a crush on a friend’s parent?: nah

A teacher says she’s noticed you’ve looked sad, do you confide in her?: maybe

Do you like the sound of birds singing when you wake up, or is it annoying?: depends

If someone gave you a kitten, would you keep it?: doubtful

Do you like or hate to buy new shoes?: they’re expensive :(

Do you keep your phone on you at all times or forget it a lot: I keep it around often now as I have a gf but when I was single I didn’t

Do you enjoy doing things outdoors?: some, at times

Which of your parents do you laugh more with?: dad

Where do you keep your phone at night?: on my desk

Do you feel comfortable asking your parents or grandparents for money?: I feel uncomfy :(

Five things you need to throw out: ugh...

Do you think you’re clever? I have my moments

Can you remember how you celebrated your 10th birthday? I don’t

Do you sleep well most nights? not really, not recently

Is there music in your head right now? Sour candy by Lady Gaga

Did you ever play cowboys and indians when you were growing up? I did not

Would you like to become a dancer? meh

What colour is the bathroom of your house painted? green and purple - I was choosing and painting too :)

Do you like the Austin Powers films? no

Do you work better in a clean or messy environment? if it’s my mess then it doesn’t bother me

Do you ever wear black lipstick? I did in the past, had goth phase :P

Which colour would you rather have your hair: pink, grey or green? green or grey

Don’t you just hate the sound of people eating? often

Would you rather play a good or an evil character in a play? good

Do most people annoy you? absolutely

When was the last time you just wanted to be left alone? kinda now, just go to sleep everyone omg

Would you rather have a lazy day or a day of being really busy? lazy

Do you like the way that spoken French sounds? not really

Do people find you “cute”? mostly because I’m short

Don’t you hate it when your cell phone dies in the middle of a convo? yeah Have you ever had to cancel a bank account? yep Was the last conversation you had an argument? sigh... If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today? maybe not today but soon Is the last person you kissed, going to be the next person you kiss? if I’m ever going to kiss somebody yet then her How long was your longest make out? short because she forgets to breathe XD Do you want to dance? not now for sure Are you mad at anyone right now? ugh... What was the last thing you found pointless? everything is? If you could have anyone as your roommate, who would you choose? dad Have you ever changed the prices of items at a store? no but I took price and put it on the same product in a different color because I wanted that specific one and someone teared it Do you go for walks often? would say so Would your parents disown you if you got pregnant? my mom wants grandkids so maybe not How strange do people say you are? just weird, they don’t really say how much Have you opened food at a grocery store & ate it without or before paying? nooo Do you believe in the 10 second rule? I’ve only heard of the 5 second rule which I also don’t believe in - once it touched the ground - it’s trash Have you ever been in a limo? nope

You ever kissed someone at your house? not in my house

Will you be up before 7 am tomorrow? hope not Are you in a good mood right now? ... Do you want someone to call you right now? no thx How artistic are you? kind of Is it possible that you’ll ever be a cat lady? dog lady if anything Are you currently looking forward to tomorrow? blergh Have you ever been in a situation where you had to be around your ex everyday? luckily not Would you kiss anyone you have texts from in your phone? I did Could you go a day not talking to the last person you kissed? I could but I won’t Are you comfortable sharing drinks with your friends? sorry but no Have your parents ever questioned your virginity? my mom questioned it Do you find graveyards scary? nah When was the last time you made a pinky promise? recently Is there anything written on the shirt you’re wearing right now? there is Are you shorter or taller than most of your friends? shortest Honestly, do you double dip? might Anything happened to you in the past month that made you really mad? more than one thing Have you ever kissed underwater? no, would never If you were paid 1 million dollars, would you kiss someone that was the same sex as you? I do it for free Who was the last person you cried in front of? my mother

Do you like sprinkles on your ice cream? meh

Can you say “Sally sells seashells by the sea shore” fast without messing up? I can Is there anything plaid near you? What is it? not near Was today a bad hair day for you? obvi Do you have all teeth? still Have you ever been sent a postcard in the mail? From who? I even been part of this postcrossing website in the past Do you know how to do the moon walk? I know/can do it Which subject are you better at - science or history? was better at science but I forgot almost everything I learned in school by now Has anybody ever told you that you have a good singing voice? believe me or not but someone did even tho I think it was a lie Are you the youngest person living in your house? I am Has anybody ever described you as a heart breaker? yep Are you wearing pajamas right now? not yet Has anybody ever told you that you talk too fast? mom When was the last time you attended a barbeque? I hate barbeques so never and don’t plan to What was your favorite thing to go on at the playground as a kid? swings? Do you know how much you weighed at birth? How much? I don’t remember

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hackedmotionsensors · 5 years

Text

Here we go Endgame lets talk about it!

BELOW THE CUT

So I’ll say this!!! Over all!!! I liked it a lot. For a lot of reasons.

I also HAAAATTTEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDD a lot of some of the choices. That’s okay. We can have mixed feelings about movies especially the end of a saga. I think they did a good job of getting nods where they needed nods, bringing in storylines from previous movies and conversations that needed to happen.

And they fucking whiffed it on at least THREE REALLY IMPORTANT THINGS!!!

So lets start with what I liked.

1) STEVE TONY EVENT. DO YOU HEAR ME IT WAS A STEVE TONY EVENT aaaah oh my god. From the second Tony lands back on the planet and Steve RUNS to him before even Pepper and he’s holding him and just the look of agony as Pepper takes him away and the fight where Tony says ALL THE SHIT WE HAD BEEN SAYING!!!! WHERE WERE YOU! YOU LIAR!!! and he RIPS HIS HEART OFF OF HIS CHEST AND GIVES IT TO STEVE BECAUSE YOU FUCKING BROKE HIS HEART YOU FUCKING FUCKED UP STEVE!!!!! FUCKK!!!! And then reconciling because “Resentment is corrosive” UGHHH!!! And Steve just barely containing himself when Tony shows up ughh!! UGHHH!!!!!!! AND THE ASS JOKE!!! THERE’S NO HETEROSEXUAL EXPLANATION ABOUT THAT!!!! TONY SAW STEVES ASS AND WAS LIKE TAN FRANCED IT LIKE BITCH YOU NEED AN FRENCH TUCK OF MY DING DONG IN YOUR BUTT!!! and Steve over the intercom being like “omg tony not in front of the kids” AND A STEVETONY SOLO MISSION!!!!!!

A STEVE TONY...

SOLO

MISSION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TONY CALLING STEVE MY MAN WOW. WOW. FUCKING EXCELLENT ON ALL ACCOUNTS THANKS SO MUCH!! I was given some bread thank you I will eat this stevetony bread nom nom nom nom nom.

2) Tony’s arc in this story was really beautiful. He finally got what he wanted, some perspective and closure with Howard. And I know initially you want to go “Hey Howard was really abusive” and yeah he was. But its complicated. Because Tony even says in Homecoming he was trying to break the cycle of abuse and he DID with Peter and Morgan. You can see just HOW MUCH he cares for his daughter and he was willing to say fuck you to the UNIVERSE in favor of not losing her. Its always a different perspective when you see your parents as people and not as YOUR PARENTS.

Also Tony lying on the table with Natasha UuU. A lot of the interactions with Tony and the other characters were so good. Tony and Rocket. Tony and Nebula. Tony and Carol (tho brief). Tony arguing with Pierce like his little gay senses were like “This guys a nazi I bet”

3) I genuinely liked the Time Heist. I DID NOT LIKE THE RULES OF TIME TRAVEL IN THIS MOVIE BUT I’LL GET TO THAT. But I looooved the Time Heist. From the New York stuff with Steve fighting Steve and knowing his dumbass loses his shit when he hears things like “Bucky’s still alive” and being done with his own stupid shit “I can do this all day” “YEAH I KNOW” (which btw at this point was basically the last thing he said to Tony in Civil War so maybe that doesn’t have its plucky little fire anymore and now is a sore spot). I loved Loki running away with the Space Stone (even tho as of now I’m still not sure what the FUCK THAT MEANS!? more on that in a sec) Loki making fun of Cap. Loki rolling his eyes at Odin. Tony dressed in a shield outfit screaming Medic!!! The gang all on the elevator and Hulk screaming about it and LOKI WAVING HIS HAND AT THE HULK AS THE DOORS SHUT!! TONY SITTING ON THE BRIEFCASE! SCOTT GOING “how the FUCK did you not know they were Hydra LOOK AT THEM They’re a COP!” Then jumping forward to the 70s and Steve’s legs that went all the way up to his asshole and Tony dressed as a doctor

I drew a doodle of it here you go lol I’ll post it properly later

oh did this not happen? Idk what movie you were watching.

4) The big battle at the end was SO FUCKING COMIC BOOK I WAS LOSING IT. Also I keep calling it the Battle of Five Armies or Return of the King lol T’challa BATHED IN A HALO OF LIGHT LIKE YES WE STAN A KING. MY WIFE

MY.

WIFE!!!!!!!!

VALKYRIE!!! ON HER BEAUTIFUL WHITE HORSE!!!! (also not being given an actual name and called Valkyrie is the funniest goddamn thing. Like that’s like going into a Footlocker and talking to the manager but calling them Manager)

CAROL!!!!!! WITH HER BUTCH ASS HAIRCUT PUNCHING THANOS IN THE MOUTH AND WRECKING HIS SHIT

WANDA FINALLY FUCKING FLYING. LIKE. F L Y I N G. THAT is what the Scarlet Witch is SUPPOSED TO DO!! SHE’S SUPPOSED TO BE SO POWERFUL IT TOOK EVERYONE TO TAKE HER DOWN CMON!!!!!! And she almost got him too. Honestly if it were down to Carol and Wanda they probably could have ended Thanos alone.

Korg coming back for more comic relief AND PUTTING HIM IN TAIKA’S PINEAPPLE ONESIE!!!! ARE YOU KIDDING.

5) This is controversial. And I know it won’t age well. And that’s okay and feel free to disagree with me entirely.

But I liked Fat Thor lmfao. I know it was played as a joke for the wrong reasons but I laughed. I was like fuck yes his belly looks like mine and that’s not why it was funny and it SHOULDN’T BE but I laughed lol. But on the other hand I think it had partially to do with Hemsworth constantly being like “no no we don’t need a shirtless scene” or just sort of a gag at how Marvel always has a shirtless scene and its just kind of funny to have it not be someone cut. EVEN THOUGH its a fat suit and I can’t take off my fat suit but Hemmy can and that’s kinda shitty.

but I laughed. I can’t help it. He was a whole ass mess and I thought it was funny. And I know there are Thor fans out there who wanted more for him but like I said before this was a SteveTony event. This movie and this win worked because it was Steve and Tony finally coming together again.

It felt honestly the most comic book Avengers of the entire series.

And true to comic book events

it whiffed the landing.

Before I get into dislikes I’ll say that I liked this movie more than I disliked it. I cried H A R D at the end of the movie. Because its not a movie that’s an on its own kind of movie. You had to have gone through the journey to get here. The pay off is completely lost if you only watch this movie. Or you only watch one or two of the MCU. Or if you’re like a few people I’ve talked to where they only like Steve and Tony. Or they only like Thor and Loki. Or they only like the Guardians and hate the avengers. If you have hate in your heart for any of these characters the payoff of this movie is pretty much lost.

The theme of this movie is clearly about moving on when things come to an end. When things stop or end or we lose people we love you have to move on. Steve says that at the beginning of the movie to our apparent gay representative straight director Joe Russo.

But like Tony said before.

Steve’s a fucking liar lmfao

But lets not start there. Lets start with the fucking timeline.

I hate.

I H A T E EEEEEEEEE TIME TRAVEL!!!!!! AS A PLOT!!!!!!! WITHOUT ANY RULES!!!!!!!!!

I enjoyed what we SAW of the Time travel but the rules itself DIDN’T MAKE ANY FUCKING SENSE.

So when they’re suiting up Hawkeye for the test run Bruce explicitly says that all these movies that say “if you go into the past and fuck up the past you fuck up the timeline and the present/future is fucked because you’ve changed things”

ARE WRONG. HE SAYS THEY ARE WRONG. He says “If you go into the past. The past becomes your present. But the present then becomes your future. So you can’t go back and un fuck your parents to make you. Or kill baby Thanos. because that happened and you can’t change that but you can change youre present”

WHICH DOESN’T

MAKE ANY

FUCKING

SENSE. BECAUSE THEN YOU AREN”T TIME TRAVELING!!!!!!!!!

If you go into the past yes YOU are in your present but the world is still being written around you STILL so you go into the past and change something (loki making off with the space stone) that’s CHANGED. You’ve created a new reality.

THEY EXPLICITLY SAY THIS IN DOCTOR STRANGE AND Y’ALL I KNOW DOCTOR STRANGE WAS BORING AS HELL BUT IF YOU’RE GOING TO USE TIME TRAVEL AS YOUR STORY DEVICE THEN YOU CAN’T SAY THAT SHIT IN DOCTOR STRANGE DOESN’T WORK WHEN YOU’VE ESTABLISHED IT AS THE RULES OF TIME TRAVEL.

THE ANCIENT ONE EVEN SAYS “you create a new reality. And it fucks shit up”

LIKE!?!?!??!

WHAT THE HELL!!!

So now Loki has the time Stone in reality B, in reality A Steve goes back and puts the stones back where they belong (and I guess.....gives the soul stone to Red Skull????????? wouldn’t you try to get Natasha back????like that itself is a whole movie of Steve going back and putting things away but ??????)

And then we get to the end of the movie where Steve says Fuck you to Peggy’s reality A family and now on this timeline where they’ve time traveled he lived an entire life WITH Peggy but like.......you were Captain America and you just said “No don’t worry about JFK being assassinated. Or the Civil Rights movement. Or stopping Bucky in any capacity. Or maybe saving MLK. Or Peggy continuing to join SHIELD. Or stopping ACTUAL NAZIS from infiltrating SHIELD.

Because if you go with this idea that Steve went back and “lived a life” What did he DO then. What did he FUCKING. DO?

You’re not Steve from 1940s going back to 1940s. You’re Steve form 2019 going back to 1940s. No wifi. No medicine. No cell phones? Gays are still being persecuted. You can’t drink from the same fountain as black people (or rather they can’t drink from your white fountain).

You are.

CAPTAIN.

AMERICA.

and you just said nah fuck it its fine? This shit can all happen but I don’t super care because I get to dance with Peggy. Peggy who on her own had this whole life. Who did all this stuff IN YOUR NAME IN YOUR HONOR. Who married someone else. Who had a FAMILY. Who had a NIECE that you made out with. And just..... wha....

Like if he had gone back and danced with her but came back with Natasha in exchange for the soul stone but during his travels had aged. Or met someone else.

Like movie wise and story wise I get wrapping up Steve’s story. And maybe the person Peggy is talking about in the video of her in TWS is actually Steve from 2019. Maybe that’s it. But it still doesn’t make sense because they FUCKED UP THE RULES OF TIME TRAVEL SO WHO THE FUCK KNOWS.

So. lol I wasn’t a huge fan of Steve at the end of the movie. I know they needed to do something to end the movie with a finality. With Steve being DONE. But instead of finality or closure I just have so many goddamn questions. And I don’t hold it against Evans or even really the directors per say. But I’ll blame Markus and McFeely because they were writing since TWS. They HAD the Cap STORYLINE to write about and that was how they ended it.

its like when you pack for a very important trip and you plan out all your outfits but then wake up late and end up throwing whatever you can find into your suitcase and run out the door.

It felt final and not final.

But I’ll tell you this. From my perspective and obviously I’m going to skew it this way because its me and FEEL FREE to disagree with me.

He left because Tony and Natasha were dead. The two people that he felt the closest to (sorry Sam, Bucky and Sharon [who we didn’t even see as dusted wow]) were gone. Natasha and Steve had become a brother and sister. He would always come back for her clearly. Trying to cheer her up as she’s crying. Natasha understanding Steve’s feeling of being lost. Tony inspiring and fighting with Steve. Like that’s part of what I liked about this is taht you could really feel how Steve and Tony needed each other for this to work but also they needed to not hate each other.

Also I kinda knew the second Scott said “That’s a one way trip!!” before the 70s bit that Steve was going to stay in the past lol What an asshole.

Also I don’t think it was very UN-Captain America because I think people don’t always realize that a lot of the inspo for the MCU came ALSO from Ultimates. And if Ults Cap was able to go back to the past he would have in a heartbeat. Who was a more depressed Cap? Ults or MCU? I just don’t know.

Now.

Natasha.

This was another one I kind of saw coming from a mile away as soon as it was just the two of them on Vormir. I was kind of hoping they’d Hawkeye a way out of the deal by like throwing his daughters picture or something like that. Or that it would be Hawkeye. But they both had an upcoming movie/series so I didn’t know which way it went.

And then there was that big jump. And I was like oh my god they did it right

AND THEN THEY FUCKING DIDN’T.

Wow. Wowwwwwwwwww

Markus and McFeely

REALLY DID THAT

THE RUSSO BROTHERS REALLY DID THAT

THEY DID THE SAME FUCKING SCENE TWICE.

The first time you get because Thanos is a dick and abusive and he would absolutely throw his favorite daughter into the soul pit (which I guess Isn’t picky because she didn’t love him back she hated him but I guess its a one way street with the ol’ soul stone)

And they don’t say during that one (far as I remember) that its a permanent exchange.

But they sure emphasized this time. And they sure killed the original avenger who was the only girl on the team. Who never got a chance to live.

Who Whedon made herself call heself a monster because she can’t have a family and then she gets a found family and then SHE DIES. THEY KILL HER. AFTER HAVING A FAMILY.

WHAT THE FUCK. Like...my problems with Scarjo aside (which are similar with my problems with Paltrow) You DID. BLACK. WIDOW. FUCKING. DIRTY. I don’t care that there’s a movie coming out that was her story. You were supposed to give her a fucking story. And now her story is only how she relates to her TEAM OF MEN.

And now to my last point that I didn’t like. And I don’t hate this one as much as Steve’s ending or Natasha’s ending.

I don’t like that Tony died. I know this is wrapped up in a lot of emotions I have about Tony Stark the character. Robert Downey Jr the person. Tony Stark the character in all his forms is very important to me and I love that he has many forms. 616, Ults, AvAc, Avengers Assemble, the MCU. But his story is important to me. And its heartbreaking. I’m tearing up a bit now writing this out.

I’m just the type of person that hates that a character, in a fantasy setting where you have wizards, valkyries, robots, talking raccoons and trees, Dave Bautista, a giant green rage monster wearing chinos, that you have to take this one part and make it realistic. That we have to keep realism kill this character off because it doesn’t make sense if someone doesn’t die. Because the stakes aren’t high if you don’t make them personal as well.

Which is true like you don’t have high stakes (the planet or universe getting dusted) if you don’t are about some of the people in that universe personally.

I just would have rather he had retired. Moved onto his little farm with Pepper and Morgan.

I think they did right by Tony. Storywise, ending...all the stuff the dropped the fucking ball on with Natasha and Steve they gave to Tony. And on one hand I get it and I appreciate that because (sorry to nat and steve fans truly) I care more about Tony. Tony started this whole thing. In a miracle of accidents they got the right actor, the right story, the right character, the right director, the right timing technology wise, the right social mood and made solid gold. And none of this would have happened if it weren’t for that amazing accident that happened.

And I think it has more to do with not wanting to let go or move on even though i can always go back to Iron Man 1 at any point and start the journey over again and have a laugh but there’s always going to be that ending where its final. Its done. Its over. And in the simplest of terms. I don’t like it. You have to know when to bow out and I respect and appreciate that. I don’t wanna see Iron Man 8 with geriatric old RDJ trying to fumble into a mocap suit.

I understand. I appreciate. But I don’t have to like it as a person. And that’s okay.

Its all about moving on isn’t it? That’s the theme of the movie. Moving on.

Even if you’re steve and your moving on wipes out the existance of a whole other family lmfaaoidnsfasfada sorry sorry.

Okay. yeah that’s all I think I can think of. I’m sure there’s a ton more other people have mentioned aside from what I wrote. Like its a LONG movie and I think its hard to say hey “they fucked this up” or “they got this right” for EVERY SINGLE THING. There were so many characters. Nebula’s story could have been better. Thor’s story could have been more involved. Hawkeye could have been more important throughout the series. Janet could have come back for the final fight and healed Tony. Like there’s a ton of “this COULD have happened” But it didn’t. And that’s okay. It may not be right but its okay. I think they wrapped it up as best you could while still making a good movie. I think you probably can go back after a long while and look at the Endgame and go yeah that wasn’t so bad for an ending. Endings are hard to do with any sort of skill. Its why the joke that the third movie always sucks.

There’s still a ton of stuff to look forward to.

Falcon/Winter Soldier, Loki, Hawkeye, Wanda and Vision (i GUESS??? lol), Black Widow’s movie.

Maybe Steve solved more than he let on who knows. WHO KNOWS. Maybe Mjolnir left him haflway through the journey when she knew he was going to ditch his 2019 family (who again....mostly dead now)

I love Tony 3000. Which I found out is more than a ton which makes Morgan Stark a lot smarter than I am lmfao

#avengers: endgame spoilers #endgame spoilers #avengers endgame spoilers #spoilers

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