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khargaotte · 2 years

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craft asks! 💚 🌿🌼💖please :)

Thanks so much for asking 🧡🧡

💚 How long have you been crafting and how did you get started?

I can't remember precisely how old I was, but my mom taught me the basis of knitting when I was a kid, like... 5-6? something like that? I made one scarf for my teddy bear, it was this horror that I found when clearing out stuff in my room (I'm still fond of it though because it's the first thing i ever made!)

then I didn't really do anything for many years apart from attempting (and giving up on) small sewing projects every now and then (I also had a subscription to a W.I.T.C.H. arts and crafts box at some point it was fun). Then I started knitting again for real in 2015 when I moved to Paris and thought I would knit in the subway (which i never did bc not practical), and picked up sewing around the same time to try fixing holes in my pants!

🌿 What tips would you give a beginner? What is something you wish you had know when you started?

Tips for beginners (mostly focusing on knitting): don't be afraid of "complex" patterns! There's only really 6 things to know: how to start and stop a project, knit, purl, decrease and increase. Everything else is a combination of these six! What makes complex patterns hard is keeping track of things, not the techniques themselves.

Also, I recommend starting with a medium-thick yarn: I often see the super chunky ones advertised as beginner-friendly since they build up fast, but I find that they can be very frustrating bc mistakes are a lot more visible. And very thin yarns are...... A pain in the ass, though the results are worth it in terms of fineness of the work. But medium-thick yarns still build up fast, while being a bit more forgiving with irregularities in tension and stuff!

As for stuff I wish I had known: block your knitting! Knit that tension sample AND block it!! Press your seams!!! These are all steps that are so annoying to do but will yield results that just look so dang nice compared to what they will be if you skip these steps.

🌼 Do you have a project (current or a past one) you want to talk about?

ha i have many it's hard to chose

I'm still riding the hype of having finished the tapestry needlepoint the other day, like, look at these details!! It's still on the "ongoing/to-do" pile though because I want to turn it into a pillow for the couch but that requires 1/ finding tutorials 2/ buying filler material or a filler pillow 3/ teaching myself how to sew a zipper 4/ gathering materials and, finally, 5/ actually getting round to do it

this project just gave me so much serotonin though because i had done a bit of needlepoint when i was a kid and i liked it a lot (mainly because i'm not creative enough for pretty embroidery, and i don't like cross-stitch, but i love the gesture of embroidering, so needlepoint is the perfect compromise for me!), and then a few years ago i'd stumbled into canevas fatal on social media but couldn't afford their canvases, and i re-discovered them this fall and....... woops, now I have money, and i'm ready and willing to give them a huge chunk of it (i also already have this one that my sister gifted me for Christmas along with the thread to make it and I am 100% using it as an incentive to finish a few ongoing projects before I get to it)

💖 Which one of your creations are you the proudest? Show off!

Once again I have many!!! But: this sock might be the most impressive thing I've done (tho, cf what i said in beginner advice: while visually impressive, it's actually just a matter of following the color pattern!!)

(sidenote i actually hate doing colorwork with knitting, especially in the round, and also this sock is ever so slightly too small for my foot, so I do have a love-hate relationship with this project and have been procrastinating on making the second one for months)(also for the second one i'm reversing the color pattern!)

#khar makes stuff #knitting #needlepoint #crafts ask meme #ok i finally came up with a new tag for crafts stuff #had to go digging to figure out what i used to use to retag stuff #it was #the adventures of my scarf #and oooo boy is it a time capsule #also this got long and rambly i'm sorryyyyy #bookshelfdreams

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missingmywing · 2 years

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So I’m finally caving and talking about my theory for why SMT V felt so rushed and lackluster at the end, the way so many people have been complaining. And, in that, what I think was supposed to happen with it.

This is an analysis and theory, not a criticism. If you want to read someone bashing a game that disappointed you go find someone else. As an aspiring game dev in my senior year of Uni I’m going to be talking about the actual process of making a game while making some educated guess about what happened with this one.

So my main theory about why it felt rushed and lackluster: lack of proper time management, and shifted priorities.

(Much like KH3, which had the same problems for - I assume - the exact same reasons, that I’ll get into below.)

Okay so first off, my first and most resolute point: They were using Unreal. Rather, they were using Unreal for the first time. Key thing, there, is that switching engines means the team has to learn that engine, and that alone can take six months to a year.

Hi hello my team is dealing with that and while I’m super impressed with their progress, it can very much be an uphill climb if documentation isn’t great, or programmers have to learn an entirely new coding language. AI are a bitch and a half to make, especially within Unreal’s black box-type constraints - as my programming lead has complained to me multiple times - and SMTV’s were actually really good.

That’s my main level of forgiveness for them, and it’s the same one I gave KH3. That said, it is an issue in terms of proper time management. The team put so much time into making the gameplay flow well and making the art look amazing that they left the overarching story things until last, with the age old reassurance of:

“Once the bones are in place the story will slot right in wherever we want! Let’s focus on making sure we understand the engine and gameplay first.”

no I am NOT projecting shut up

That is, in my opinion, the major fault of why and how the game had the story issues it did in regards to the endings. The devs focused on other things first, then realized towards the end that they were running out of time, development was taking longer than they thought, and they had to get the endings done. They re-analyzed the time they had, and realized they had to cut some things.

My theory about the main thing that was cut?

The actual secret ending.

My guess is that they planned and made the main three endings first, which is why Law and Chaos feel complete - even if Lucifer’s… thing… is kind of glossed over. (Which again, felt like a “we ran out of time - here’s a vague info dump for you to extrapolate from” move.) They may have felt a little rushed, yes, but they still felt final. And as someone who went back to look at Nocturne’s endings after I finished… V’s were still more complete than whatever the hell happened there. Freedom and Secret endings were the only ones of Nocturne that didn’t feel incomplete and half-assed. The others felt literally copy pasted -

Okay I’m not going to rant about a game released a decade and a half ago being lackluster in four of its six endings because it was very impressive at the time and also it handled the alignment decisions much better. I’m actually not even disappointed in it - just how people are comparing it against V and whining about V. It was great about alignment decisions and making the sides very clear cut, which I assume was the goal.

Moving on.

Law and Order could have been a bit more fleshed out, a few more differences between the style of the paths and how you face the bosses would have been nice. But honestly, from an in-universe point of view, it makes sense. Also the games were designed to be played, not watched on YouTube, so that’s not really so much their fault because it’s not as obvious while playing. The actual path choice definitely could have been improved, but I can’t tell if that was a deliberate choice that didn’t work, or another cut. Hard to say.

Mooooving on to: Neutral

Here’s where I make my point in my theory:

The secret ending was supposed to be the base Neutral ending. Yakumo doesn’t even hint about it - he flat out says it. Many times. “My goal is to eliminate all demons from this world.” It’s not a secret side quest, it’s literally in main story cutscenes. It makes no sense for it to be a “surprise secret” twist, because it’s not. Add on how ridiculously short and definitely rushed the “base neutral” ending was and it was very clearly a sign of cuts and alterations. My guess is that they had the base three mostly done, but realized that they didn’t have the time to make the secret ending because (to my theory) it would be the most complicated and add on a lot of differences within the last area. So they instead cut apart the neutral ending and pasted the second part of it to the secret ending requirements. Which was why it felt disjointed and a bit tacked on - and why it was specifically connected to the neutral endings. blah blah coding blah blah shortcuts I’m not going to get into coding logic and or how Unreal’s variables and components work because it’s complicated and I’m not a coder so most of this is educated guessing anyway based on general workflows.

Alright then, what was the secret ending supposed to be?

I think that the secret ending was the one that you teamed up with Khonsu and Miyazu. The requirement to even get the secret ending was, very specifically, to complete their quests and leave Khonsu alive. And to kill Shiva, but I’ll come back to that in a sec.

I’ve seen a lot of people wondering why the hell Miyazu was even in the game, and why her and Khonsu’s side-quest mattered. Especially given that they were both presented as titular characters - Miyazu was introduced alongside Yuzuru and Tao. Khonsu is literally on the box art.

Alongside - what’s this? The characters representing the other three endings. Hayataro is obv a stand-in for Koshimizu/Tsukuyomi bc spoilers. (Also it looks like Lahmu is there, but I’m not sure if he was considered for an ending at one point or if it’s just a reference to the Nahobino importance.) I’m also thinking that Amanozako was probably supposed to have a slightly bigger role at some point, because her arc was ALSO kind of just dropped, so there’s probably some cuts there too - though in this I have zero clue what they could have been planning there. Not important - this is about Khonsu.

So my guess is that there was originally supposed to be a fourth option at the Empyrean if you completed the side quests to unlock the secret ending (I’m not going to rant about the objectively bad design of the single-choice option - people have done it enough) that would most likely have you detour back to the Fairy Village to get Khonsu and Miyazu - unless they were already with you by that point. I’m not going to speculate details.

My general point is that the secret ending was supposed to be based around them, and Khonsu’s goal of a peaceful world without strife or illness. To make a parallel that kind of furthers my point by establishing theming: this one would have paralleled Nocturne’s Freedom ending, while Law paralleled Hikawa’s, Chaos paralleled Chiaki’s, and Neutral deviated from anything established in the series.

I’m purposely referencing Nocturne because it’s the most well known, and really encompasses the idea of SMT’s bare-bones story that distills the philosophical debates down to their core.

And I think it had to be cut because it would require a bunch of extra cutscenes, voiced lines, maybe another character model and moveset depending whether they planned to take the tragic route and have the two become a Nahobino anyway, as well as potentially more assets for if they showed what the world looked like after it was recreated and how that would look. Again, speculation. But it would definitely take some work, and it’s very likely they ran out of time.

Coming back to Shiva because he is actually important to this concept: Shiva has to be killed for this ending, supporting the “good ending without harm” idea. In the Law and Chaos endings, if you do not kill him before taking the throne then, theoretically, he continued gather Magatsuhi to destroy the world and your reign on the throne is going to be very short. In the current secret ending, you wouldn’t need to kill him first because he’s a demon. He’d get dusted with everyone else when you metaphorically snapped your fingers. The only way it makes sense is if he wouldn’t die himself so you had to do it, and as a “good ending” then it was supposed to be a world without strife. Meaning no dance numbers to blow up the world. Law, Chaos, and the current base neutral are just doomed to be destroyed, I guess. Lucifer makes no mention of it so I assume it wasn’t included in his magical fix-it that he beamed into Naho’s head rather than sharing with the audience.

Anyway, that’s my theory about it and honestly I’m pretty forgiving of it because it was still a good story, and if you actually take the time to explore and talk to people and pay attention, the whole thing makes sense.

I haven’t stopped yelling mentally about the Miman since I found out that they were failed Nahobinos who got cursed by the Condemnation.

You just have to invest in it, and I feel like most of the people complaining are the people who don’t want to take the time to invest with hunting down worldbuilding. As someone who idolizes Bioshock, that shit is my bread and butter so I don’t understand why people are acting like it’s an awful game just because it didn’t address everything, and left most of it to your assumptions and imagination. It gave enough, and it’s a pretty standard approach for an SMT game even if it was obvious that there were significant cuts.

I’m not crossing my fingers for a DLC finish because SMT doesn’t -

Actually wait they added the entire goddamn Labyrinth of Amala to Nocturne. It is entirely possible. I won’t get my hopes up too much but… I guess I won’t discount it entirely. Honestly I love the game for what it is, and am happy to write/read fanfic of the alternatives rather than bashing the game for having a development timeline it has to follow. And after the backlash P5 got for its continued delays, Atlas has probably cracked down and taken the “cut content over delay release” approach.

#smtv #smt v #shin megami tensei v #nahobino #khonsu #analysis #theory post #also a defense #even if you don't like the game you don't have to attack it #or say it's objectively awful #i have thoughts about the secret ending #and all the endings really #but especially khonsu and the potential #keep in mind this is also my opinion and you don't have to agree with me

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cult-of-artemis-and-athena · 3 years

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What the fuck is "femininity", anyway? Pt. 2

I was watching a video a few months ago about Evangelical Christians complaining about what they perceived as androgyny - women wearing pants and not having long hair, men not going fishing or wearing beards - and then said something to the effect of "These people are straying from God's design!"

I suppose the Bible does have some parts that can be construed as saying that women should have long hair, men should have short hair, and they should both look different and do different things. However, wearing certain clothes or hairstyles, or doing the majority of tasks don't have a biological component. If men were naturally, biologically, by-God supposed to have short hair, it should grow to be an inch long and stop, right? I've seen some Christians rebut the "only men can wear pants" argument on the basis that the stereotypical Christian man wouldn't like, nor properly fit into a pair of women's pants. I would take that a step further, because I think it's hilarious, and say that if women wearing pants were a 100%, by-God biological impossibility, they would have one leg, or be like nagas or mermaids and it would be physically impossible to make pants for them.

Another example: musical instruments are assigned gender stereotypes for some fucking reason. A friend from middle school said she wanted to play the trumpet, but was given a clarinet because it was a "feminine" instrument. Conversely, I've seen boys who started school band on a flute or clarinet either switch instruments, or quit band altogether. Perhaps small hands make it easier to play the piccolo, and it's less annoying for a strong person to carry around a tuba, upright bass, or bari sax, but there's no reason for the player's genitals to enter the equation. During the 18th century, the acceptability of an instrument for women was based on whether the player had to spread their legs to play it. Pianos, violins/violas, and flutes were allowed, but a cello was indecent. I'm not sure, then, how harps became stereotyped as "feminine instruments" when they're both gigantic and require the player to straddle them...but here I am trying to make sense of nonsense again...

Finally - and this is the big one - there is the downright schizophrenic relationship some male communities have with female attractiveness and things women do, or have done to them, to change how they look in pictures and videos.

I feel I must preface the rest of this point with something: "men" and "women" are not hive minds, and it's important to not strawman half the population based on a conglomeration of the worst representatives you have experienced. If you go outside, in real life, and think about the couples you see, it becomes very obvious that the majority of men you will see are attracted to women who aren't skinny blondes with big boobs/asses and the majority of women you see are attracted to men who aren't 6-/7-figure earners. People who seem to express that they are totally alone and perpetually shit-on by a world of "Chads" and "Staceys" feels like the same type of mindset school kids have, where they obsess over not being included by the popular kids while they're befriended and included just fine by kids they actually have more in common with. It's not a healthy mindset to have, but excusable in school kids because kids are immature by nature and they mostly grow out of it; however, to be an adult and still think like this is a good sign to get help.

I'm talking primarily about the incel community and perhaps some of the groups that this mentality spills into.

A post was going around several years ago and I think the photos were taken from a clickbait which was taken from a makeup artist's portfolio. The MUA might actually have been Goar Avetisyan (https://www.goaronline.com/courses) but the before and after pictures resembled the ones on the link above -- one with absolutely no makeup or hair styling, and then the other with full glam, special occasion makeup and styled hair, a wig, extensions, etc. The way it was presented was "LOOK! HERE'S PROOF W*MEN AREN'T ACTUALLY HOT! WAKE UP SHEEPLE! THEY'RE LYING TO YOU! ILLUMINATI EXPOSED!!!!"

I can see why they're mad, because the dishonesty surrounding makeup, but especially photoshop, plastic surgery, posing, and airbrushing can get toxic. I'm old enough to remember the old-fashioned mindset where women were supposed to hide their "beauty secrets". Don't apply makeup in public, keep your roots touched up so nobody knows they're dyed, and if you have any treatments or surgery always deny having them. Wear your makeup to bed, then wake up early and fix it before your guy sees you.

I couldn't imagine how awful I would feel if I had Instagram or TikTok when I was growing up. I had enough moments of feeling frustrated because I didn't naturally look how other people looked, and I didn't realize that people in TV and movies were wearing makeup, that magazine ads were photoshopped, etc. Just being an extremely average-looking human being with no concept of basic grooming, comparing myself to other kids at school was hard enough without the rapist-run media adding another layer of bullshit.

When I realized the layers of lies, it was like...how long have I been wasting my time and money on this totally made-up problem? How much did I actually improve my life and happiness chasing it? Or, did it actually make me more miserable? How much could I have accomplished if I put the same amount of angst into a different pursuit -- instead of fixing my face, I could have been fixing my art...When it comes to pursuing an unattainable ideal, there is no end to the horror.

So, I suppose, when a group of men (...boys, whatever) realize that "hot women" are a spook, and the the ethereal creature they've been told by society to put on a pedestal is actually not far removed from them, and it shits and farts, it seems very reasonable to feel angry and like you've been taken for a ride by "the system". It can be easy to blame women for this, and hate them. And it's probably easy to get stuck here.

Instead of being perpetually angry, they have to mourn the death of this ethereal spook-woman, and move on with an acceptance of reality as it is. Women, too, have to kill and mourn the spook-woman as part of self-acceptance.

One positive evolution of the makeup fandom is that while the makeup has gotten more intense and elaborate, makeup tutorials have demystified makeup. When tutorials started to become popular, there was a lot of "Excuse my eye-circles, excuse my pimple, excuse my skin, excuse my hair, excuse my lighting, excuse my room, excuse my, excuse my, excuse, excuse, excexcexcexCEXEXEXEXEXEX- *boom*" and thankfully someone eventually came along ($10 says it was a drag queen) and said, "SHUT THE FUCK UP, NOBODY CARES," and eventually the makeup fandom became okay with letting a bare face be a bare face. You wear the makeup, you don't wear the makeup. It doesn't matter. It's just a hobby.

To refer back to my original point, the confusion of makeup (something culturally feminine) with biological femininity has really fucked up both men and women. Everyone is better off extracting the two from one another, and it seems like many people are in the process of doing that. It helps women hate themselves less, and it helps men humanize women and have better relationships.

However, the image of the spook-woman, "10/10 model" is so ingrained in some parts of the culture, as the apex of the vertex of femininity, that despite complaints about how makeup is a lie, discarding that in favor of just a healthy, bare-faced woman feels like embracing post-modernity and a slippery slope to embracing ugliness as beauty. I think the lack of exaggerated femininity that spook-woman makeup provides feels threatening because the woman's face looks more masculine in a purely relative sense. The exaggerated femininity of the spook-woman, as it is for the Evangelical Christians who follow strict gender roles, provides additional separation between the sexes which serves to reassure men who are A) preoccupied with their level of masculinity and B) hyper-aware of their standing toward the bottom of this hierarchy of masculinity. I think the entire hierarchy benefits from them being placated by more separation from women, because if the bottom whatever percent of men are too dissatisfied with their standing, they may start punching upwards or wanting to attack the hierarchy itself. The men at the top don't want that because of the benefits they receive for being at the top.

MGTOW and the incel movement really kicked off after Gamergate, and intensified with subsequent "waves" of feminism. The discontent men direct their frustration at women, but they also direct their frustration at the men not troubled by what women do. There's suddenly a lot of interest in whether you're an alpha, a beta, a gamma, omega, a sigma, a ligma male, etc. and which one is the better type of male to be. There's a lot of hatred for "Chads" and I see a lot of jealousy directed toward men who are married and have families, usually in the form of "She's just gonna divorce you, take half your shit, and then manipulate your kids to hate you. You'll see...you'll realize you should have spent your whole life banging whores."

This all seems like the result of the ol' spending money we don't have to buy things we don't need to impress people we don't like. This is undoubtedly the idealist in me, men and women would be better off to cut each other some slack. We could see one another as fellow tragic, flawed individuals instead of fleshlights and ATMs, escape the Matrix and spit in the faces of our rapist, media elite overlords.

#femininity #performative femininity #mgtow #mass media #makeup #spooks #traditional gender roles #women don't exist #gender roles are a spook #hollywood rapists #jordan peterson #stop putting women on pedestals

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a-crimson-lion · 4 years

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Ultimatum: The Art of Lying In A Made Bed

(Or Why My Experience With Chapter 285 Is Contrary To Everyone Else's)

[Manga Spoilers Ahead. Also Opinions. Feel Free To Ignore.]

After Chapter 284, many fans were wondering how the story of BNHA would follow up on Katsuki's development. Now that Chapter 285 is officially out, fans are clamoring about Katsuki's latest acts of heroism, about how his arc is finally kicking it into high gear.

I'd be inclined to agree, but… you know how these things go.

[Heads up fans/stans, if you like Katsuki you might wanna bail. The word vomit that follows is pretty much incoherent and reflects my disaster of a thought process.]

I was looking forward to Chapter 285. I had my reservations on the execution of Chapter 284, but if the next chapter could follow it up and then some, I'd be pleasantly surprised. But then the leaks came out. And then the fan translation. And as of today, the official VIZ translation.

While everyone else is cheering for explosion boy, I'm just… done.

285 didn't get me to see how far Bakugo's journey has come. 285 didn't get me to finally root for him. And maybe I am making this decision prematurely, maybe I am missing something, but…

...the way things are going in the story I just- I just CAN'T root for him.

And I'm not saying the rest of you can't, if you're still reading. Katsuki is definitely a different person compared to Chapter 1, a better person, and he's definitely been heading on the up and up! If you can and want to support him, then by all means, go for it, don't let me stop you! It's just…

For me, chapter 284 was a wavering torch: a flicker of hope that sometimes dwindled, but was still there. Chapter 285 was the moment where I wanted to jump on the Katsuki Development Train, to finally gain some semblance of respect for him. But when I jumped, I landed on the tracks, and had to crawl back onto the platform.

I missed my chance to jump on that train. Whether it's because of previous circumstances or recent circumstances, I'll never know…

You probably wanna ask me at this point, "But Crimson, why DIDN'T Chapter 285 make you see the awe inspiring pinnacle of character development that is Katsuki Bakugo???"

To put it simply: it's a culmination thing.

For starters, there's a sort of… whiplash with Katsuki's development in the last few chapters. People like me will complain that Katsuki's development is too slow, in the case of the last 2-3 chapters, it feels like a switch was flipped, and now it's become too fast. Perhaps it's a me thing, but let me try to explain…

Shoto starts out as a standard background character. By the time he gets his spotlight in the Sports Festival, he comes off as reserved and antagonistic. After the whole "it's your power" moment, Shoto is finally able to accept the side he always hated. Then Katsuki fights Shoto, and we're shown he still needs time to grow; his left side comes with a lot of baggage he can't just brush off in the span of a single sparring match.

Fastforward to Hosu. Shoto's starting to take other people into better account. He's starting to learn to better control his fire. He's reconnected with his mother. His goal is no longer one-upping his old man; he has goals, people, that he wants to protect. He's coming into his own and wants others to do the same, like Tenya.

He joins the Katsuki Rescue Squad because, like Izuku, he had an opportunity to save Katsuki, didn't, and now he wants to make up for it. When we get to the Provisional License Exam, we're yet again slammed with the fact that his growth is still not done via Inasa, that there's still a bit of Endeavor he has to shake off, even if it was in the past. And he does progress towards that with the Remedial Course Arc. And while I have my opinions on the Endeavor Agency Arc, I'll admit that it was another development opportunity for Shoto and the Todoroki family. Shoto's growth comes with setbacks, but overall it's consistent.

Let's shift gears to Tenya, who's characterization I find fascinating. He starts out opposed to Izuku when they first meet at the Entrance Exam. He sees how Izuku is (for lack of a better phrase) "better qualified" at heroics thus far, reassesses his position, and apologizes whilst making amends. When Tenya resorts to LITERAL MURDER against Stain, the narrative does not let him go off without reprocussions. His arms are damaged, his supervisor's teaching license is revoked, and while he managed to avoid legal charges via police cover up, it still came close. Tenya listened to Stain's words, and opted to improve himself by that notion. He tries to set a better example, be a better class rep. It isn't a one and done.

Him lashing out during the Hideout Raid Arc is an offshoot of that. He doesn't deck Izuku just to be a dick; he's trying to knock some sense into him. They're so focused on Katsuki that they're forgetting about everyone else. Their friends, their teachers, their parents. If they f*** up like Tenya almost did at Hosu, they'll have hell to pay, and he doesn't want that. Of course, once they explain that combat/murder is not their M.O., Tenya tags along, if only to ensure the operation goes smoothly without this hitch. And again, Tenya keeps up. He looks after his classmates, looks after Izuku during the Shie Hassaikai arc. His growth is also consistent.

There are probably more characters I could elaborate on (Ochako, Momo, Eijiro, etc.), but I'll stop there. So, what's the deal with Katsuki's arc?

Well, it's… frustratingly back and forth.

It's one thing to have setbacks like Tenya and Shoto. It's something else entirely to have multiple setbacks and to keep trucking on with only abstract signs of development, but otherwise feeling like a very similar character compared to several chapters ago.

This is (in my opinion) Katsuki's problem. If we're going by what the manga stated, his arc technically started in Chapter 11: "Bakugo's Starting Line." But this is a rocky start. Izuku tells him about OFA right from the getgo out of guilt, but this neglects the fact that he's technically lying to everyone about it (including his new friends Ochako and Tenya), that OFA is a world-shattering secret, and that Katsuki is likely the worst person to tell this to considering that Izuku just handed Katsuki's ass to him and Katsuki was willing to use lethal force in their Trial. That aside, instead of say, sucking up his pride and opting to try and learn from everyone else, Katsuki doesn't really change strategies or approaches. He essentially does what he was planning to do since the start of UA; he's only crying because, SURPRISE, people are better than him. You'd think he'd expect that considering he called his middle school crappy…

After the USJ, once everyone had their "Lol Bakugo sux" moment on the bus ride, we get to the Sports Festival and everyone is clamoring to join Katsuki's team despite his apparent unapproachability. This feels less like something happened in the two weeks leading up to the Sports Festival, and more like history repeating itself from middle school. Moving on to the tournament, we don't even get to see how capable Katsuki is at serious combat. Two of his matches resort to Deus Ex Machina pulls, and the other two are in his corner by principle instead of difficult.

First off, Katsuki vs Ochako. I don't know why people praise this fight. For starters, it makes Katsuki HEAVILY OoC. Ochako is the only person he asks if she wants to back out before the match even starts. The ONLY person, which kinda undermines the whole "he didn't underestimate her" thing. Then he takes a reactionary stance the entire battle. Like, I thought we were still dealing with the "fist first" Katsuki. He does this to Eijiro, Fumikage, even Shoto, but Ochako? Stay still and then attack. Even if he did get his gravity removed, couldn't he just… propelly himself and let her have it. If he was proactive, he could have ended the fight quicker. Instead, he just plays sitting duck and headless chicken. If you're gonna have Katsuki win the fight, don't bulls*** it.

Which brings me to the final bit of that fight: the meteor shower. Having Katsuki blow that away after supposedly expending most of his energy earlier in the match just does NOT sit right. Ochako gets the upper hand, and then you just… negate that? You expect me to believe that Katsuki could generate an explosion at that magnitude, if nothing else? And what exactly does that do for him in the end? No one else tires him out for the remainder of the festival, which is pretty sketch.

(And yeah, I know I know "What part of her was frail?" but that's more of a retrospective thing than in the moment, coupled with the facf that it's never elaborated on again in any capacity, with Ochako or with someone else. It's a throwaway moment; a waste. Moving on…)

You really can't say much about the matchups with Eijiro and Fumikage. With Eijiro, it's an endurance match, and Katsuki apparently has infinite stamina and is on the attack. And he just… rushes him, which I'm pretty sure anyone else would do. Then with Fumikage, Dark Shadow is weak to light. Katsuki's explosions emit light on contact. Do the math.

And I am especially mad at Katsuki vs Shoto because one, he stays in place yet again at the start of the match, and two, he can apparently ignore his Quirk' weakness to low temperatures. In a gym uniform. Against a glacier the size of a building. Even with his power output, you don't see his explosions dampening in magnitude. It's obviously in his favor, which defeats any tension the fight could have had. It sucks, and in the long run, as a wise man once said, "Todoroki should have folded [his] ass."

Then we get to the Final Exams (ABOUT DAMN TIME) and… Katsuki hits Izuku for trying to cooperate, nearly gets knocked out once, and gets knocked out the second time around. He does not want to work with Izuku despite it being All Might, is petty enough to consider losing, and actively grumbles against working with Izuku. And all of his supposed self-preservation goes flying out the window when he's willing to try and beat All Might, leaving Izuku having to come and carry this boy out of the gate, which should not have let him pass.

Then there's the Training Camp attack. The second Izuku is mentioned, Katsuki decides to go AWOL, and while being kidnapped sucks, I am less sympathetic when you're boneheaded enough to help them capture you because you wanted to fight villains instead of getting to safety like the professionals recommended, all because of your one-sided hatefest with one of your classmates. Congrats, you played yourself.

Then we get to the Provisonal License Exam, which feels like a step in the right direction… until you realize this will boil over into Deku vs Kacchan 2, which will get both of them in trouble, which will give Katsuki insight into OFA while Izuku gets shunned by his classmates, and which will prevent Katsuki from the one ass beating that could have potentially taught him something. It's essentially the narrative covering his ass, and then he has the gall to be happy about other people potentially getting set back just because he was set back. Geez dude.

The Cultural Festival essentially undoes what the Remedial Course Arc accomplishes, having Katsuki look down on the rest of UA when he said NOT to look down on people earlier. And then his speech is still heavily antagonistic to the rest of the school, and to the idea of basic human decency and kindness in general. And if I'm being honest, that whole "he can play drums" feels like a big ass pull to keep him in the spotlight. At least the story brought back his ability to cook down the line.

The Joint Training Arc is just shoe horning in regards to Katsuki. It acts like his gearing up towards saving, but the circumstances are heavily, heavily in his favor, and not in a good way. I've already brought up how Katsuki won't get "saving" until the Endeavor Arc, and how here he's just doing it to show off, so I won't go into it here. Then apparently he gets to outwit a recommendation student 'cause why not? It makes him look more impressive than he actually is, even though he outright states he hasn't changed much if at all. Not to mention the narrative makes it sound like he was some sort of underdog, even though he only got kidnapped and didn't get his license. And I know those are big things, but not enough to warrant his victory feeling that triumphant. I'd probably buy it if he didn't win the Sports Festival or pass the Final Exam. Keep him in that slump for longer than you actually do, or it lessens the impact. And let's not forget, he might have been willing to help Izuku with Blackwhip via fisticuffs, but the second he realized he wasn't getting anything out of it, he noped out. And it's been what, almost 200 chapters since his "starting line?"

I don't have much to say during the Endeavor Arc (that was its own can of worms), but as for the War Arc thus far… here's what I mean by "whiplash." The arc begins in Chapter 253. By Chapter 257, Katsuki will demonstrate how much he just does not give a f*** about Izuku's mastery over OFA so long as it looks like he'll come out on top. By Chapter 274, when Izuku's gotta split, it'll look like Katsuki has been thinking about some stuff, but by 275 he's gonna throw that out the window so he can attempt to one up Tomura and Izuku, and then he'll nearly get killed for it. And we won't know what exactly Katsuki is thinking until a flashback in Chapter 284 (which chronologically takes place after 257), where he has a conversation with All Might about his past with Izuku. Or at least the bullet points. If you're me, the start of the conversation feels less about Izuku and more so about his situation: his situation with OFA. And as much as I want to believe there was at least one good kernel in Katsuki that he was too stubborn to let out with Izuku, I feel like Katsuki only brings up him and his capabilities now because he got a Quirk. That's what put him on Katsuki's radar. That's what forced Katsuki to take notice of Izuku, what caused him to be unable to ignore his own weakness. Because of a Quirk. That's… borderline shallow, if not remarkably so.

And even when Katsuki is attempting to save Izuku in 285, his first thoughts are still on OFA. And even if we go by the line of thought that Katsuki is thinking "Even if OFA sucks, it's still Izuku's Quirk." And that's nice and all, but the flashback makes it seem like the Quirk is still All Might's Quirk as well. That all of Izuku's worth is hinged on the fact that he got a Quirk now and therefore can't be written off. Maybe he doesn't owe this to his accomplishments, but the narrative is terrible in its implications that Izuku wouldn't have gotten as much attention without it. At the end of the day, Katsuki is still associating Izuku's worth with his Quirk. And as much as I want to vaguely, vainly hope that this will change later on, I'm already at my limit

...and now that I've said my piece on almost the entire narrative thus far, let's shift gears to a few more tidbits in 285.

Again, the flashback. I think it's significant that they're shifting the focus briefly on middle school again. But you wanna know what sent me the wrong way? They didn't include the god forsaken suicide instigation. They can show Katsuki gloating. They can show Izuku up against a wall. They can even show a notebook and Izuku's face during the Sludge Villain rematch. But they can't show Izuku reacting with sorrow mixed with almost fury. That can't show Katsuki threatening him with a mere "What?" and the sparks on his palms. They can't show Izuku standing and crying, small and defeated.

"BUT HORI SAID HE WENT TO FAR WITH THAT SCENE!1!" Blah blah blah, doesn't change the fact that it still happened. Doesn't change the fact that it should be addressed, at any capacity. Doesn't change the fact that the story had the balls to recall middle school but couldn't bring itself to remember the one thing that could get its audience raising eyebrows.

But that's alright, it gave you the notebook; clearly it's done enough.

And maybe in another timeline, I could have let my jaw drop when Katsuki was hit and the chapter title was revealed. "Katsuki Bakugo: Rising" It would have been pretty damn powerful too.

...but with all the previous crap the narrative has pulled, it feels like more shoehorning. It feels like more Erasehead stepping in and shaming the audience. It feels like more All Might letting Katsuki in because he's not completely familiar with the finer details. It feels like more people. In narrative parroting that Katsuki changed when he does the bare minimum, as a hero or as a person. I can't treat this development legitimately, because so many other "legitimate" developments pulled a "psyche!" and headed out.

So, I'm done. I'm done with Katsuki, done with hoping his development will be done in a somewhat satisfying manner. Done with people telling me "it's actually good though!" like I'm blind and deaf or something, when I have enough brain cells to formulate my own opinions, and we both have enough brain cells to leave each other alone if we don't agree. Maybe when the series ends and we can all look at this in hindsight, and Katsuki has either found a way to redeem himself, or remain deplorable, I might talk about it then. But for now. I'm drawing the line. I might talk about what we've gotten up to this point, but everything past 285 I'm taking with a grain of salt. 'Cause I'm sick of hoping for something that obviously won't come through, and it's better for me and everyone involved if I just pack up and move on. BNHA isn't just Katsuki's story after all.

And if you made it to the end of all this… I hope you'll either respect my opinion, or respect my thought process. That's all I can ask.

-Crimson Lion (27 September 2020)

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aphrodites-law · 4 years

Text

A Bit of Clarity 🍂 (10/?) The visions had started last autumn, a year ago now. It had caused a bit of chaos for some, a bit of clarity for others. Two days ago, Clarke Griffin had been perfectly fine managing both her Café and her stress. But now she was curious - so deeply curious about the vision of herself entwined with the aloof Lexa Woods that it was leading her to complete distraction. (ao3)

[part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 4] [part 5] [part 6] [part 7] [part 8] [part 9]

The play wasn't horrible by any stretch of the imagination. It was the most fun Clarke had had in a long time. She laughed so hard at parts that tears sprung to her eyes and her cheeks started to hurt by the end of it. The 1920s décor and costumes were stunning, the performances captivating, and the story the perfect balance between humor and social commentary. Even Lexa, who already knew the jokes and twists, still laughed loudly.

Clarke took as much joy from the sound as she did the play. When the curtain fell for the last time and the lights fully came on, she looked over at Lexa and found herself captivated. Lexa was still clapping for her cousin’s success, her face beaming with pride, and Clarke couldn’t really explain why it made her adore this woman so much more.

"Are you hungry?" Lexa asked her.

Clarke nodded mutely, unsure what to do with the intensity of her feelings. She let Lexa take her hand and lead her out of the theater, where the crowd spilled out of the great glass doors.

Cocoa Street was the longest street in Costial, cutting through the city in a curving fashion. Clarke's favorite part was the food trucks; rows of them on both sides with their own specialties and flair. You could very well order duck à l'orange with mashed pumpkin at one truck and a burger with fries at the next one. The Italian ice cream truck was between the rival crab cake trucks and the Noodle Brothers were right next to the Pizza Sisters. There were lines wherever you went, sometimes even street performers to soften the blow of the waiting time. It was absurd and it was wonderful.

They ate Chicago-style hot dogs and curly fries, slowly walking down the street as they laughed about the play. Lincoln had relied on alternate history to weave the visions into his tale, using them for comedic effect in the more dramatic beats. A secondary character had one in the middle of a monologue, suddenly passing out while a crowd rushed over to him. The visions were reenacted with tricks of light and masked characters, reminiscent of interpretive dances.

"Okay, I have to ask," Clarke brought up while they meandered down the street. "The castle on the hill - that's the Polis Hotel, right?"

Lexa nodded. "Lincoln has a complicated relationship with his heritage, to say the least. He's keenly aware growing up in a luxury hotel was a great privilege, but it also messed with his head. He basically shared a home with thousands of strangers for eighteen years."

"I'd always admired Polis from afar, but I can't imagine growing up there. Don't get me wrong, that was one hell of a party, but-"

"It's not a place for a kid," Lexa finished, in agreement.

Clarke ate the last bite of her chocolate waffle and threw the paper in the trash. “You must be pretty familiar with it.”

Lexa glanced at her and smiled. "The cat and I go back."

"Right. That night was a bit intense, even for you."

Lexa let out a laugh, looking away with a hum. "You know, you make me sound quite strange."

Clarke bumped her shoulder. "You pinned me against the staircase - you are strange."

"I didn't… pin you," Lexa replied with a huff. "I was drunk, high off an excellent game of poker… and I saw you. And I needed to be close to you."

Clarke stopped them in the street, grateful they'd left the busy part. "And the Gazette?"

“What about it?”

"You offered me a side job. Just like that."

"Oh," Lexa remembered. "I genuinely thought you'd be good at it. Still do. Your style would be perfect."

That was surprising, but Clarke wasn't convinced. "It wasn't because of your vision?"

"It was a way to talk to you, yes, but I meant it. I know the visions were… well, the reason for this, that they nudged us together, but I'd noticed you drawing before."

They walked a bit further before Clarke took a small breath. "I, uh, may have looked at the pages in older prints."

Lexa glanced at her. "And?"

"It could be fun. I'm just not sure-" Clarke scrunched her nose. "I'm just so rusty. Art is what I got into college for, but then I took up business classes and… I don't know, it just felt so much easier. Don't get me wrong, managing the café kicks my ass every day, but I like the challenges. With drawings, paintings, whatever… it feels like putting your heart on the line each time. And nine times out of ten, your heart ends up getting trampled."

Lexa took her hand to stop her. "I would never suggest you do something that makes you uncomfortable. If it's truly just a hobby to you, a way to pass the time, you should keep it that way."

It wasn't like Clarke hadn't considered it. Drawing, sketching; it came as naturally as breathing. She'd done it since she could hold a pencil and she still did it whenever the world became too loud. It was an escape; a different way of thinking. Her own little world. Illustrating short stories could be a welcome breath of fresh air. A way for her brain to snap away from bills, calls, deliveries, and the hundreds of post-its in her tiny office.

"And for the record," Lexa added as she stepped closer, her voice impossibly soft, "I would very much stand in the way of whoever or whatever would try to trample you."

Clarke grinned, very much aware that, not so long ago, these were not words she could have ever imagined Lexa Woods telling her.

* * *

As she had the last time, Lexa insisted that she walk Clarke back to her apartment. After a night full of laughs, great food, and Lexa's hand in hers, Clarke still didn't have her fill and so didn't tease Lexa too much for also wanting to enjoy every last second. When they made it to her door, Clarke turned around and leaned against it. Tonight couldn't end here.

"By the way, you were wrong earlier. My vision isn't the reason for this." Clarke waited a beat before playing her last hand: "It's not the vision I thought about that night after the rooftop."

Lexa's mouth parted open and she glanced at Clarke's lips.

"I was going to," Clarke continued, "but it didn't hold a candle to how you made me feel when you grabbed my hand."

Lexa swallowed when Clarke reached for her jacket to tug her closer. "How did I make you feel?"

Clarke pulled her in until their foreheads touched. "Warm. Dizzy."

"Dizzy on a rooftop? That's a safety hazard."

"Are you trying to turn me on or are you trying to make me laugh?"

"They're not mutually exclusive."

They broke into laughter anyway. Lexa leaned in to kiss her, only to stop just as their lips brushed.

"You never told me about your vision," Lexa pointed out. "Not… not exactly."

Clarke smiled, smug. "Oh you want details, hm?"

"I'm a journalist. A thorough account would be nice, yes."

Clarke narrowed her eyes at her before crushing their lips together, unbelievably pleased when Lexa moaned and wrapped her arms around her waist.

"Shut up, journo," Clarke husked between kisses.

Lexa kissed her with little restraint then, moving until Clarke was pressed against the door. Each one of Lexa's kisses felt like something special; like finally she'd shed her old fears. Clarke didn't even want to think of not being close to Lexa right now. The night couldn't end - not like this. She pulled back and gazed at Lexa, trying to catch her breath.

This close, Clarke could commit to memory every detail of her face. She'd always thought she got a good look at Lexa at the café, even with the counter between them, but it was nothing compared to this. Lexa's lips were full and at their most tempting when slightly parted, betraying her own desire. Her eyes were hooded now, longing, and Clarke had little doubt hers reflected the same want. She threw caution to the wind:

"Come inside?"

Lexa hesitated, visibly torn.

"We don't have to do anything. I have a nice wine we can try. Some of Gus's tartlets left over. We can even sit with the box between us. I just… I don't want tonight to be over yet."

* * *

It was not what she'd had in mind. She swore it. Nevertheless, when Clarke found herself straddling Lexa on her living room couch with the box of tartlets discarded on the floor (the tartlets well finished by then), she couldn't remember why the hell not.

Maybe the air had already been too charged by the time she wiped her thumb over Lexa's lip to catch a crumb there, and maybe Clarke had liked playing with fire, but now she was well on her way to being burned. Lexa's hands palmed her ass while they kissed, but it was the boldest she allowed herself to be and Clarke was quickly reaching her breaking point.

"Touch me," she pleaded between kisses.

Lexa let out a choked moan when Clarke reached for her hand and guided it to her breasts. She paused, looking up. The green in her eyes had darkened, especially in the dim light, and she breathed deeply.

"Clarke…"

"I know, I know, just - something. Anything." Clarke leaned her forehead against Lexa's. "I feel like a fucking teenager."

Lexa let out a small laugh before kissing her sweetly, slowly. It had the soothing effect she had intended, and before Clarke realized it, Lexa had lied her down on her back. She hovered over her, then looked down at her cleavage and pressed her lips against the exposed skin.

"Is that better?" She asked.

"Close…"

Lexa let out a hum against her skin, pressing another kiss lower. Clarke brushed her fingers in Lexa's thick hair, digging just slightly in her scalp, surprised when Lexa let out a small moan and then froze with wide eyes, like Clarke had just found her secret.

"Oh," Clarke breathed out, her smile widening. She repeated the gesture, pressing her fingers just a bit harder.

Lexa immediately grabbed her hands and pinned them down on each side of Clarke's head.

"Don't do that," she warned her, breathless.

Clarke smirked. "I think I will."

"It was just a reflex," Lexa blushed. "It's been a while."

Clarke couldn't help but laugh, happiness bubbling in her chest at how comfortable she felt with Lexa's body slotted between her legs. "Well, I'm very happy to find out whatever draws out those sounds from you."

Lexa seemed to realize just how close they were, locked together with their fingers entwined. And just like the rooftop when she'd suddenly grabbed her hand, her expression changed. Confident. Eager.

She sat back, eyes trailing down Clarke's body before she let go of her hands to touch her thighs.

"You like control, don't you, Clarke?" She asked. She ran her hands up her thighs, caressing them slowly. "But not now."

Clarke nearly lost her breath, not expecting the way Lexa had shifted so quickly from embarrassed to self-assured. She watched as Lexa drank her in, from her bunched up dress to the fast rise and fall of her chest.

"Touch yourself," Lexa told her, and then leaned down to brush her lips against hers. "The way you did after the rooftop."

"Lexa-"

"I want to watch you."

Clarke nodded, her hand trailing down her own body to the bottom of her dress. Lexa watched as she reached beneath the fabric, eager to follow her command. She slid her hand beneath her tights, beneath her underwear, moaning at the relief when she finally touched herself. She knew Lexa could feel her heat; knew they were both reaching a point of no return. It had started when Lexa had kissed her at the start of their date, but Lexa's hands on her ass while they'd kissed had awakened her completely.

Lexa briefly glanced between their bodies, groaning when she saw Clarke's hand moving.

"Is this how you did it?" She asked. "Two fingers?"

Clarke let out an obscene moan, too far gone to care. "Three," she whimpered.

Lexa's jaw clenched, but her control was remarkable. "Did you imagine it on the rooftop? Me inside you against that wall?"

Clarke's eyes squeezed shut as she bit down on her lip. "Yes. Fuck."

She swiped her fingers over her clit, but the angle and her tights restricted most of her movements. She was fairly certain Lexa knew it. Lexa leaned down again, kissing her neck.

"How did I fuck you?" She asked by her ear, one hand reaching up to lightly brush against her breast.

Clarke panted, fighting the unbearable need to penetrate herself. She needed release, and fast, but a part of her was too stubborn to give in just yet.

"You pressed me against the wall," she revealed, burying her face in Lexa's neck. With her free hand, she dug her nails in Lexa's ass, feeling a thrill when Lexa bucked against her. "And then- I… I needed more. I needed you deeper."

"So I turned you around," Lexa guessed, squeezing her nipple over the fabric of her dress.

"I- oh, fuck, I couldn't stop thinking about you inside me; how well you'd fill me," Clarke said, her middle finger trembling from the angle, desperate to inch inside herself.

"Jesus, Clarke," Lexa breathed out in the space between her neck and shoulder. Her lips felt like heaven against her skin. Clarke couldn't get enough.

"Clarke," Lexa repeated, raising her head. "Look at me." It was softer then, more of a plea.

Clarke opened her eyes and felt her movements slow down. It was like experiencing déjà-vu, except of course that was impossible. They'd never done this. But she suddenly realized it had all started here. She'd had her vision on this very couch and here she was - not fulfilling it, exactly, but close. Yet what she'd seen and even felt had never been like this. It had been purely physical - an erotic thrill in her otherwise predictable life. But she hadn't felt her heart beating out of her chest. She'd had a sense it was more intimate than what she was used to, but hadn't been able to quite grasp what that meant. She knew now. Their intensity wasn't so much physical as it was emotional.

She felt safe with Lexa. They still had so much to learn about each other, but she felt safe. And Clarke had never realized the importance of it. Lexa had trusted her with her pain and her heart - that wasn't something Clarke took lightly. It was a feeling not even her vision could have conveyed.

"Fuck, wait, wait, stop," she abruptly panted, pulling her hand out of her underwear.

Lexa backed away immediately, but Clarke sat up to stop her from moving off the couch.

"Lexa, I… I want to be with you," she said, as if remembering her vision had suddenly clarified everything. "When you're ready, I want to be with you completely."

"I want that too." Lexa still seemed confused, or maybe surprised Clarke had done the equivalent of dunking ice cold water atop her own head.

“Right. And - this is fun. I-” Clarke’s eyes briefly closed as she bit her lip. “Fuck I really want to get off-”

Lexa smiled.

“-but not like this.” Clarke reached out to cup her cheeks. “Not without you.” She kissed Lexa briefly, barely a brush of lips, and watched as her eyes followed her every move so tenderly. “Not if I don’t get to touch you too.”

"Clarke…"

Clarke shook her head, kissing her way down Lexa's jaw and neck. "Not if I can't see all of you. Can't hear you moan my name." She licked over Lexa's pulse, enjoying the way her hips bucked against her. "Not if I can't taste you while you come undone."

Lexa pulled back and brushed away some of Clarke's wild strands of hair. "Such words… You should be a journalist."

"I hear they have egos."

"Oh yes, terrible."

"I'm glad I found one that's not so bad then."

They smiled at each other, then took a breath.

"Sorry," Clarke sighed. "I feel like I'm the one giving you whiplash now."

"No, it's only fair. If anything I admire your restraint."

Clarke leaned back against the arm of the couch. "Maybe you'll just have to work harder next time."

Lexa smirked. "I can do that." She glanced at her breasts. "At least I made new friends."

Clarke let out a laugh, enamored. "Alright, well, you and my tits can pick up this conversation another time. I need a shower and if you're not gone in two minutes, I'm definitely dragging you in with me."

Lexa hummed in agreement.

After Clarke walked her to the entrance and watched Lexa put on her shoes and jacket, they lingered in the doorway.

"Thank you for tonight," Clarke said. She had never felt like this before - a part of her desperate to find a way for Lexa to stay. A way to prolong the conversation. To ward off the night so that Lexa and her could just live in this moment a while longer. "The play, the food, this… Everything."

She hoped Lexa felt the same.

"Trust me, it was my pleasure," Lexa replied, her face still slightly flushed.

"You've set the bar high."

"You took me to a secret hike. I was just trying to catch up."

At Clarke's smile, Lexa bit her lip and toyed with the button of her jacket. "Anya used to say I reacted to everything with either fight or flight. I didn't prove her wrong when I left for Costial, but I don't want to run away again."

Clarke nodded in understanding.

“It just… creeps up on me sometimes,” Lexa continued. “I could be having the time of my life one second and the next my chest gets tighter and the world gets smaller. Suffocating.” She gave her a resolute look. “When I meant slow, I meant… I just need to be sure that feeling won’t come between us again." She glanced at her lips. "But… It also means that once we do cross that line, I intend to make up for lost time.”

Clarke swallowed, fighting the urge to drag Lexa back inside. "I'm a patient woman."

Lexa smiled. "Goodnight, Clarke."

"Mm. Text me when you get home?"

"I will."

[part eleven]

#clexa #f: a bit of clarity #w #can you believe these two

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its-chelisey-stuff · 3 years

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More than friends, final thoughts about the drama

After suffering quite the unreasonable amount of pain for the last 4 eps for real, it was wild I was surprised when the epilogue finished, signaling the end of the drama, and I felt a bit sad and empty. Still, I mostly felt relieved and happy because my baby Lee Soo finally got the love and happiness he deserved. I obsessed so much with this drama for the past 10 weeks (yep, I counted them, even the ones when it didn’t air) and until a couple of weeks ago I thought this was going to be my favorite kdrama of 2020. And this drama made me want to gif for the first time! Most of my gif edits were awful if I’m being honest hahaha I’m not an expert, but I did them with a lot of love and care. It’s still crazy to me that this drama made me do that.

My overall opinion about MTF is that it was beautifully directed (with close attention to details that always made an effort to show and not just tell), a visual delight (those shots of Seoul while Soo&WY worked in the book? ART), the dialogue between characters and from the internal monololgues was exquisite and almost poetic. And the acting was solid and for me, in particular, two cases were outstanding: SeongWu and EunJin. Don’t take this the wrong way, because main OTP had great chemistry, but Soo and YoungHee’s scenes hit me differently. Their dynamic was very interesting to watch and I wish we could’ve had seen some more of it.

Also, most romance dramas focus on just telling ONE love story, some dramas commit to tell TWO and either the second couple outshines the main one or they’re under-developed. This drama told THREE different love stories and whether or not I liked what they did to them, I think they were told pretty coherently and every couple got their time to shine and to suffer. And I liked that the drama decided to make the last few eps more focused on the friendship of these six people. Ngl I would’ve love to see more bromance (because it was shown in small measures but not told) between the guys, just like we got our sismance with the girls, but I’m still pretty satisfied about all. I feel a bit sad for DongJun though. Some of you think CEO had a good development but I feel like the writer just sort of forgot about him after ep 11... but I hated the CEO a bit so I don’t feel sorry for the character and how he ended.

Now, the heavy stuff.

Believe me when I say that I didn’t mind the pain and angst so much, not really. I think I’ve seen worse in other dramas tbh. My problem, and I hate to say it, was Wooyeon. I didn’t like her at all by the end but Lee Soo loved her more than his own life, so I was happy that he ended the drama happy. But I felt conflicted that it was with her. I don’t know how can I explain this well, but I’m gonna try anyway, so bear with me.

You see I’m not against “problematic” female leads that break up the sterotypes about them having to be nice, giving, kind and darlings 24/7. Bullshit, nobody can be Cinderella or freaking Snow White. My problem was that Wooyeon was a mess to be with. The girl was a passive-aggressive nightmare to date and most of the time, she was a pathological liar. And she hated to hear people calling her out on her wrongdoings (Soo did it a few times and it always got his ass handed to him). And tbh the only reason her friends were always on her side and SangHyuk and HyunJae were neutral about the whole drama, is because they never had to date her.

I know she said sorry and recognized she was immature and didn’t think much about Soo’s feelings. I loved to hear her say that! But I wanted to see that a few eps back, not on the last episode. The show needed to give at least ONE good reason for ME to root for her. And hey, it’s not like I don’t understand she had her insecurities, but she never made much of an effort to try and be empathetic to the feelings of people around her, especially the ones that she disliked like Soo, yet she expected that from everyone, especially those she was mean towards to like Soo. You can’t just do that. At least have her acknowledge she’s wrong sometimes or don’t make her play the victim all the time. Or at the very least let her own those flaws, like Soo did with his.

Take Ko MoonYoung (from It’s okay to not be okay) and Jo Yiseo (from Itaewon Class) as example of female leads owning their flaws and being refreshingly honest. Both were heavily criticized women (both inside their dramas by the characters and outside, by the audience) that most definitely do not fit the good and kind-hearted sterotype of female leads. Controversial, to say the least.

And I LOVED both of them. Seriously, I could fight you right now if you dare to insult my baby Yiseo and my Queen MoonYoung. On top of it all, they were passionate and all-in for their male lead. That’s my jam. That’s what I like to see. Honestly, what did Wooyeon ever did for Soo? And don’t tell me that she inspired him to be better, because no matter what Soo’s mom told her, the credit for changing and never regressing to his old ways, was all Lee Soo’s.

And look, I know it’s not fair to compare because the drama never put them in a life vs death situation, Wooyeon is nothing like Yiseo or MoonYoung, and this was never a ride or die love story and to be fair Wooyeon pined after Soo for a decade (she barely knew the guy but okay). I only mention them so you can get an idea of what I’m trying to explain about liking and rooting for “problematic and imperfect” female leads .

Also, that decade of pining happened off-screen. Objectively speaking, the drama was more about Soo’s feelings for Wooyeon than hers for him. We got to see it all: the revelation of his feelings, the change in him, the growth, the ANGST, while we saw Wooyeon being bitter, angry and vengeful with Soo most of the time. I felt bad for her and had a lot empathy for her character in the first 4 eps but after that, those feelings started to disappear little by little until that dinner in ep 10. That was my turning point hahaha When she got together with Lee Soo, I turned a blind eye and kinda forgave her... but then ep 14 happened. And it was too much by then.

It all comes down to what I like seeing in my romances, I guess, so I hope no one takes my comments to heart if they did like Wooyeon in the end. Guy pining and all-in for his female lead? Hell yeah. But said girl hurting and torturing him most of the drama’s run and constatly “unsure” of her feelings for him despite everyone knowing she does love the guy? Nah. That’s not how you love. So I guess what that ex said to her was true, Wooyeon didn’t know how to love. Hopefully she is learning a bit, everyday, in the world of MTF.

All things considered, for a drama coming from a rookie writer, this was an impressive first effort (but they should check out the definition of romcom next time, however they have the slice of life and melo feel down hahaha). A plus for me was always the behind the scenes were the main actors just showed their chemistry, and how well they work together, even more. It looks like it was an special and dear project for everyone involved and that makes me feel better about the drama as a whole.

More than friends, you will be missed by the good stuff and the little fluff you gave me hahaha and despite writing all this, I don’t regret watching you. Also, I “met” some really interesting and fun people thanks to the show. So there’s a lot of good to remember you by.

P.D. So many people want YeEun and SeongWu to be in another project together. Tbh, not only do I think that’s very unlikely, I’m also not very into the idea, despite their great chemistry. I think that seeing them together (acting) in the future will always put me at odds and remind me of MTF. Ooops!

#more than friends #ong seong wu #shin ye eun #kdrama #kim dong jun #ahn eun jin #choi chan ho #baek soo min #p.o #kdrama commentary

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firelxdykatara · 4 years

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So I'm pretty active on twitter and recently someone reposted a really old zutara fanart which was a crossover with Pocahontas....... now zk shippers are getting attacked really badly all over again and I am so tired like... thats sum OLD fanart?? Most zutara shippers I know are well aware of how problematic pocahontas is and it is frustrating to see people compare the two! It's also unfair to call zks problematic when the art was from YEARS ago when people were less aware of issues like that.

Oi vey...

How many times are we gonna have to do this whole song and dance? Like, it may not be the same art/artist idek, but I do remember, a long ass time ago (gods, how long have I been here) some zutara/pocahontas art which provoked a pretty loud outcry at the time, and from what I recall, the artist apologized. They hadn’t realized the implications at the time (and I believe they were pretty young, but I could be wrong) which, considering the popularity of Disney’s Pocahontas, honestly isn’t that much of a stretch??? Like yes, the story is incredibly distorted and, beyond that, other issues abound with the film’s portrayal of colonizer/native interactions--it’s very simplified to distill things down to a ‘we’re all human, we shouldn’t hate each other for being different’ message, and it’s understandable why that would provoke discomfort in today’s climate.

However, the movie is still incredibly popular, and, particularly if you aren’t Native, unless you specifically know where to look and that you should (particularly with the way public education is in the states [there are still history books which say that the Trail of Tears was voluntary relocation], and even outside it, since I don’t know how deeply primary education in foreign countries goes into the politics and history of colonization in the US), it’s probably going to be one of the most prominent impressions you have of Pocahontas and her story.

It also probably won’t be immediately obvious just what is wrong with drawing ship art placing the characters in your ship (whatever it is--and believe me, zutara isn’t the only ship where it’s been done) as Pocahontas/John Smith. Especially if all you know of her story is that one Disney movie. My personal issue with trying to draw a parallel between them and zutara is that it implies a similarity between the two relationships that simply doesn’t exist. Katara may be indigenous-coded, and her people absolutely suffered a slow cultural genocide during the war, but the Water Tribes were not colonized, and also, Zuko isn’t white or white-coded, so the implicit relationship dynamic that people somehow see when they look at them just doesn’t exist.

But I’m also not about to drag some years-old fanart from the depths of cyberspace just to lose my mind over someone drawing that kind of art! I certainly wouldn’t use it to try and imply anything about the ship itself, since one person drawing some rather dodgy art literal years ago doesn’t really say anything about the ship as a whole, nor about the people who ship it. I don’t know who drew the art, if they received backlash for it and whether or not they apologized, and frankly, I don’t really care? It’s old art. The statute of limitations on being pissy about problematic art has long-since passed.

And frankly, there’s much worse shit on deviantart even right now. Ever tried to look up even a vaguely anime-adjacent character’s art on there? Trying to dodge the super weird fetish art is honestly an exercise in futility, so I do what regular people do and just. Scroll past the shit that I don’t wanna see (or at least try desperately not to let my eyes focus on it while looking for art that I do want). It’s really not that hard.

#atla #zutara #anyway twitter was a mistake #but then we knew that already #atla fandom salt #salt for ts #asked #shalloora

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steve0discusses · 4 years

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Yugioh Episode 30 Season 4: The Dead Joey Shuffle

Lets ignore everything happening on planet Earth right now and talk about old ass anime, shall we? Yes, my sky turned a horrible end of the world yellow/orange color for an entire day because of a LOT of fire in my state. But thankfully, the winds have changed, the sky is blue...and I can write about Yugioh again.

Last we left off, Tristan, Tea, and Yami stumbled across two fresh corpses. Now, when Joey died a season or two ago (I honestly can’t remember when), we had my favorite storyboarder at the helm just sweeping emotion all over the field and the intense weeping for Joey Wheeler lasted for like 30 minutes. Yugi freaked out in the puzzle headspace for like half an episode and nearly gave up playing cards again, Yami punched a wall and then put a duel disk on Joey’s arm like a funerary send off to the afterlife, Tea started losing her mind and begged Yugi to drop out of the tourney so Yugi wouldn’t die, and Pharaoh was like “yo Tea, Yugi can’t talk right now can we do this later????” And then Tristan, out of nowhere, just started shaking Joey and screaming at him to wake up (and I think he punched him in the face and it got censored? Yo that episode is wild.) Joey got plugged to some Kaiba Corp med bay that had like 2 dozen weird sensors attached to his chest and feet to keep him alive. Serenity was like hyperventilating in the back, just a LOT of stuff was happening all at once.

But this time, with an ordinary animation team, these three kids are so distracted by the other corpse, that they only cry just a little bit before being like “woah what?”

And like this is their second time. Maybe they’ve gotten used to Joey being dead? Maybe they got it all out of their system and are now a lot more accustomed to the fact that they all must die. Several times.

Confronted with this Agatha Christie brand debacle, Tristan makes an incredible reach that is also completely correct. Like this is such an amazing incredible reach.

Hire Tristan as your detective, hot damn. There are like 7.8 billion Orichalcos-possessed people on this planet right now trying to kill Joey Wheeler and Tristan actually called the right one.

Yami never tells us who he blames, but it’s OK, because the show immediately cuts over to Dartz’ silicon valley fortress to tell us without telling us. So while this animation team isn’t as insanely extra as our previous animation teams, they still know how to edit their cuts to work alongside their dialogue just fine.

(read more under the cut)

Lets take a little while to just take this in. Someone took a while to make it, so rather than look at it for half a second before it passes--please lets count the number of floating streets in this scene.

So before when I talked about the history of San Francisco, I mentioned the old Embarcadero, which was a double decker street wrapped around the peninsula. (we still see parts of this double decker set up on parts of the highway to this day.) But what if--they actually have no idea that the Embarcadero was a thing before it fell down in an earthquake?

What if they just...wanted San Francisco to be vaguely cyberpunk in this universe and that floating freeway was supposed to be futuristic and not just an 80′s throwback?

Because there’s 3 streets stacked on top of eachother right here and yo there is no where in the city built like this. This is a Gotham situation where the poors live on the lower levels and the rich just kind of hang out on the top. We have too many Earthquakes in reality to ever support this setup but Yugioh...wow. They went for it.

Also, our art deco architecture isn’t quite in this style as Dartz’ mansion. Mind you, this isn’t full deco, and the structure has more of an ancient world vibe. But...while San Fransisco does have a lot of deco, it’s just different (sorry you’re not really here for the architecture but youknow, I’m an artist so I do think a lot about why concept artists may have gone where they went)

++++++++++RANT ABOUT SF DECO VS COMIC BOOK DECO FEEL FREE TO SKIP++++++++++++++

So I’m not going to dare say this is a mistake on the Yugioh team by any means, since Deco is Deco and who knows when Dartz built that building. But like I’ve seen the SF skyline many times in this show and it’s got some funky shapes in it that are just sooo off to me. They keep drawing a more Futurist New York. Truth is, we don’t have that many skyscrapers in SF.

Most of the pictures you see of scaling buildings are of this one area around the financial district--everything else is...pretty short. So in those photos they very carefully crop out all the really squat as hell buildings on either side of it, to give the impression that our city is super tall, much like a dating app.

And, as far as Art Deco Gotham-esque skyscrapers go, we got ones like this guy:

Where at a glance it’s like...that’s barely deco (and barely that impressive. This is 1/3 the height of the Empire State building.) Compared to a lot of cities in America, our skyscrapers aren’t as...clearly deco from far away? We don’t have the huge ass humps and long ass gilded lines of the Empire State building or the Chrysler building. You only really get those details when you zoom in.

Our other skyscrapers are kinda understated or modern in comparison. And the reason why we just don’t have many deco skyscrapers is because...our ground ain’t good for building skyscrapers at all, so it took us kind of a while to build up.

Like we got this tower that we built recently (the first skyscraper they built in SF in a good while) and they decided to name it the “The Millennium Tower” which...I know...good job, team, clearly you wanted to get cursed. Well the tower started leaning about 3 or 4 years ago, like well over a foot from it’s original spot, it’s just tilting and sinking away, and people are freaking out because it’s surrounded by other tall buildings so they’re like “damn it we’re gonna dominoes.” The people in charge were like “well...we don’t know why it’s leaning...but I’m sure it’s fine” and it’s like “the ground. It was the ground...you dumbasses” not to mention that it’s clearly cursed by at least one angry Egyptian Ghost but...what do you do?

I would absolutely watch the Yugioh spinoff season about the Millennium Tower and the SF tycoons that got possessed by a ghost and have to play card games to keep their tower from squishing all of San Francisco. Yo you should hire me, Yugioh, I got IDEAS.

Man...Yugioh predicting the future, how did they call the ill fate of The Millennium Tower????

But anyway, most skyscrapers in SF are kind of boring because they have to be sturdy as hell. But, they have some neat modern shapes (like the Transamerica Pyramid--in the shape of A PYRAMID that hasn’t shown it’s face once this entire Egyptian influenced anime)

I mean, come on Yugioh, it’s right there.

Also the hell is this weird UFO on this picture I lifted off of google?

Like I think it’s 4 jets?

I may have lifted this from an alien website, so forgive me, q-anon for lifting your image, I’m trying to talk about architecture in my Yugioh blog.

In fact the only building I (and google) can think of that is both really tall and deco-ey is this one:

And it’s a Marriot hotel built in the late 80′s. And honestly, it looks way more 1980′s Las Vegas than it does Deco. (It honestly looks like photobashing but made real, this is a weird building.)

And I could be wrong and overlooking a very important structure, but most of the city’s really cool art deco buildings are in the form of theaters, libraries, churches, schools, and houses--which are only a few stories tall. They’re gorgeous buildings with cool and different silhouettes, it’s just not very big.

Like I believe this is an old high school?

also a lot of our “art deco” has no idea if it’s victorian, deco, or art noveau so they’ll just hit all of it to see what sticks. It’s a lot more eclectic than other places where Deco is typically more...straight-lined. I kinda hate defining art styles as masculine or feminine but honestly it’s the quickest way to really hit home the difference between a Bruce Timm art deco that you’d see in a comic book, (which is very New York inspired) and what we have in San Fransisco which is really decorative and decadent.

The Yugioh SF just has no curvy nonsense and that really sticks out to me.

Ornate swirls get shoved Everywhere. Willy nilly. Just everywhere randomly. And it sits next to other structures that are modern and simplistic. It’s very San Francisco to have this old world next to new world.

And it makes sense. SF is the other side of the continent from New York, and about as far West as you can go from the movement going on in Europe. So...we made our own take and tl;dr the art deco in our city doesn’t look like Gotham at all.

And, while it’s not as grand or dark or iconic, it’s a good thing. It’s what helps make San Fransisco look really unique compared to other American cities--the fact that we're...short and eclectic. Our district with the skyscrapers is where it’s kinda boring, actually--the good stuff is when you get away from that. Where every little building has a spunky wild personality.

But in a show like this you gotta make it seem more grand and less homely so--they scaled up the buildings a lot more than we really have and homogenized all the stylings into one (and they axed every Victorian swirl because they don’t want to draw that). They really just turned SF into comic book New York--especially since I’ve only seen like...one steep hill since we got here.

It’s fine, and it makes complete sense why they did it, (I’m more confused as to why most of California is a Nevada desert so I can easily forgive a San Francisco without the right Deco) it’s just a very different energy.

and honestly...it’s an energy influenced by the tone of the show. Everything has a very dark blue-gray palate, and it’s because it’s literally the end of the world, Joey has died, everyone is sad...maybe it would be out of place to have a building that looks like it sparks joy? The harsh and cold lines do add to the gravity of the situation.

Maybe I would have done the same thing? In the end, the legibility of your story matters more than the accuracy of your story--especially when it comes to TV. Which is somewhat a controversial statement, and there’s exceptions when it comes to cultural stuff. But while the culture of San Fransisco was erased (a culture that they did draw in the beginning of the season! they did show alcatraz, a trolly, and the golden gate!), it is at a point in the show where...all of humanity is being erased anyway. Could also be symbolic? Maybe?

+++++++++++++END OF THE ART DECO RANT+++++++++++++

So anyway, stepping away from lovely buildings and into this gross ass abandoned park, Yami decides he’s gotta get himself to this gaudy ass Batman building ASAP.

He can ride a horse but he absolutely will not ride a motorcycle. Or touch Joey Wheeler’s dead body.

Which is wild because apparently there’s a Yugioh spinoff where all they do is ride motorcycles??? But from what I heard, Yami is not in it. Which is the most wild thing.

So uh...you know how much I love art details, lets take a long look at this one.

AH no.

Nope nope nope nope.

I hate this logo. It looks like an emperor penguin’s eyebrow thingies. Like a face with just four huge eyebrows.

Not sure why we randomly have a new logo. It’s nearly the end of the season, we’ve already shown the Orichalcos logo so many times. Was this episode made earlier in development than the rest? Is that why there were like - I dunno, put this random logo here... Maybe we’ll figure out the rest of the logo later?

I don’t know. This weird logo feels so out of place.

And then because I’m thinking about buildings...maybe it’s influenced by our Shell building?

Maybe? Or not? Just saying you got a round thing with radial lines hovering over a trellis...the possibility is there that they were inspired but had to edit it down for animation? Eh, I’m reaching desperately for anything that looks like San Francisco at this point.

Anyways, the front door of this building is an elevator (????) and in a somewhat confusing set of cuts, out of this elevator comes the murderer herself.

And she’s dead.

SO HAPPY I didn’t have to watch that card game but like...c’mon. There’s no way Mai would lose to Raphael.

Maybe that’s why they couldn’t show it? Because she’s the only person on this show who uses a themed deck with cards that actually sync with eachother? (outside of Pegasus’ toon deck and Grandpa’s voltron deck ((sorry it’s name isn’t voltron, I’ve forgotten the name of the robot that you build out of other cards. Exodus? Exodysseus?

It’s Exodia isn't it? Wtv. 2020′s been a real long one, all y’all.)) )

(don’t ask where the smoke came from, we don’t know. Maybe Yami felt like making it to be more aesthetic. It is a fun visual tic to the show.)

So Yami goes into this elevator instead of anticipating that this is obviously a trap. Like most would just decide to take the stairs instead, but Yami loves falling for a good obvious trap every once and a while (or, in the case of this season--each and every single time a trap is placed in front of him) and so this takes him directly to the fightclub roof of yore.

Ah. We started this season on fightclub roof, in like...2010 or whenever I started this season. Feels like forever ago. How long has the year of 2020 been? 20 years of my life? 40 years of my life? Was I in fact never born before 2020 started? I honestly don’t remember anymore who I was before this year happened. Probably because I inhaled just a hell ton of wildfire smoke and now my brain is a bunch of jelly beans rattling around in a jar.

Anyway, Raphael just hands Yami (by hands I mean throws aggressively) Joey’s dragon card.

A little unsure why he’d do this since...this is the weapon to destroy Dartz. Why are you giving it back to the Pharaoh? But apparently, Raphael did that to prove that he is the murderer of Mai, who murdered Joey and...youknow...the stuff that we know but would be pretty difficult for the people in this show to follow.

Mai’s voice actor seeing “Mumbo-Jumbo” and being like “Well if I’m doing this, I’m going to commit.“

WE ARE NEVER DUELING DARTZ.

I refuse that a duel with Dartz, in fact, ever happens in this season.

Kind of surprised whenever I see there’s still people left. SF is basically abandoned in comparison.

Thing is...that’s just SF on a holiday weekend.

And then, because Tristan’s in the middle of the street, the rest of the party has to try and run him over.

It is really funny to me that Seto went out of his way to ditch these people so MANY times, but keeps ending up around them again and again, and each time in a wildly different vehicle, each and every time it’s when these guys need a lift...he’s very quickly turning into the group’s soccer mom. Should’ve gotten a minivan.

And then this happens?

I’ll just leave this here:

I’m sure that fanfic writers everywhere rejoiced when Seto reached out a hand to catch Joey’s face from hitting the pavement. In all this was a bizarre animation and now that I’ve figured out my blender settings for the new update, I can finally cap little segments again.

Just don’t you dare flag me, tumblr. Hopefully segments less than 10 seconds long are fine.

Like there was this part where they had to just drag around Joey’s corpse over this rail, and it was Mokuba and Tristan just prying him up there like he were a potato sack and like...

...Joey’s gonna wake up with so many rail-shaped bruises! They do not treat him gently!

Then back on fightclub roof, Raphael made me do a bit of a double take when he accidentally implied the existence of another bean within that Pharaoh bean.

And no, Bakura did not show up at this point.

I would LOVE IT if Pharaoh biffed it a second time and Bakura suddenly took the reigns and was like “Oi loves! that was bloody easy!” but I...have a feeling that this team didn’t actually watch the episodes where Bakura is just vibing in that puzzle piece.

If this never comes back to bite Pharaoh in the ass...

It might never come back guys...I don’t know. How do these writers have this much self control to ignore Bakura for like a full season. How do you do it? I can’t hold a plot twist in for even like 5 seconds. How....how do you do it?

Anyways, now that Seto has Tea who has a map, they walk up to the entrance (I honestly forgot if they drove or walked because knowing this show, Seto would absolutely ignore the car. Either way, the Ferrari isn’t necessary anymore. Written right out of the script. Cars are hard to draw. Get rid of it)

You know, Mokuba’s seen an awful lot of corpses for a kid! Like 20ish corpses if you count the 2 times the Big 5 biffed it. Really should have left him with Rebecca! Youknow, the other kid the same age as him!

But it’s fine, we gotta train Mokuba to suppress that trauma deep, deep down like a proper Kaiba.

Youknow when I started this series I was like “I don’t get why everyone talks about the Kaibas so much, these two seem kinda like whatever” but now I’m on like S4 and like...I’m SO concerned about the Kaibas. With Yugi...whatever...he’s gonna be fine, but the Kaibas? Oh boy. Either one of them could go completely evil and I’d buy it.

And probably root for them.

And I know they won’t go full tilt, I’m pretty sure--but like...they COULD. I can’t say that about the rest of the cast.

Everyone’s made it!

Even joey’s weird coma/dead body for some reason!

Lol also I love this random sci-fi tech water tower next to Tea. What is that?

My drought senses are screaming, is that a huge ass water tower the size of a 4 story building next to Tea? Chances are, it’s got a jet in it or something because this is Yugioh, but...man. At least it doesn’t look like one of those rusty New York rooftop water towers. This show just completely not getting what SF looks like.

Whatever, he can resurrect the leviathan, maybe Dartz can make water?

Youknow, all you have to do to make California worship you forever is make rain. Screw this lizard nonsense. The man can power water. What’s he doing with this stupid snake?

But youknow, Yugioh just never really figures out how to harness the weather. They CAN and they do it all the time. But, do they use it for their benefit? Like freakin never.

Anyway, that’s all for now. I went on a looong rant about SF but maybe I’m just sick of my own house? Been a lot of fire and quarantine over here. It’s been messing with my head a fair amount so thanks for bearing with me and my weird ass update schedule (remember when I used to be productive? Was that just a dream I once had?)

But if you just got here, here’s a link to read these recaps in order, from the beginning way back in S1.

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

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amphtaminedreams · 4 years

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Paris Haute Couture Week S/S 2020 Plus a Little Jacquemus: Okay, Dior DID Suck (Part 2/2)

Hi to anyone reading,

First of all, thank you! I have never had a post do as well as the part 1 of my haute couture week review did and I am so overwhelmed with the positive feedback. This is probably funny to read for those of you getting thousands of reblogs on your posts, me acting like I won an academy award because I got a couple of hundred, but honestly I don’t expect any traction when I write on here (it’s basically just me word vomiting everything I’m thinking as if people want to hear it aka. mouthing off into what I thought was the void) so if you did read it, thank you! I do spend a long-ass time on these so it means a lot:-)

I’ll leave the self-indulgent ramble there though as it’s probably not what you came for and jump straight into part 2 of my thoughts, starting with Jacquemus. Yeah, I knew what I was doing when I tagged that in my last post. Simon Porte Jacquemus is the man of the *fashion* people right now; I’ve even found myself coming round to the Le Chiquito bag despite my original thought being “well, that’s fucking useless”. I know, I know, technically it’s not haute couture; it was part of Men’s Fashion Week, but it happened around the same time and everyone was talking about it on Twitter, so I feel like I have to include it.

In a way, it kind of reminds me of Bottega Veneta’s last RTW show, in that, especially with the women’s outfits, we seem to be sticking with simple, fitted garments and chunky, more statement jewellery. I’ve got to say I like the styling here a lot more though, and in general I’m a fan of this collection. The collared tops with cut outs underneath blazers are cool and I can’t wait until it gets warm enough for me to not feel dumb wearing my headscarfs like this; there’s a LOT of summer outfit inspiration. It’s not a mind-blowing collection or anything but it is effortlessly sexy and that’s something I wish I could say about myself. Most of us can only hope to look half as good as these models do whilst making the effort but at least Jacquemus is aspirational, lol.

I also fucking adore this colour palette. I’m sick of neutrals literally just meaning brown and white; the navy, sand and muted khaki is a fresh edition to what is usually interpreted as the colours you’d seen worn by Disney’s Riverboat Cruise staff and only Disney’s Riverboat Cruise staff. And I mean, come on-what is more neutral than typical English school carpet blue.

Next for the whole reason I had to make this haute couture week review 2 separate posts: Jean Paul Gaultier’s final show.

In the best way possible, it’s a lot. I don’t even really know where to start, except to say that I guess this is a fitting last show; a celebration of everything campy, messy, weird, performative, and punk is the perfect send off for a brand whose best known perfume of the last few years is called Scandal. More than anything, the final show represented the range of characters and cultures that have influenced JPG throughout his half-a-decade-long career, the lines that supposedly separate what is “masculine” and “feminine”, “old” and “young” and ultimately art and fashion blurred in the most exaggerated way possible. Sure, there are some looks which are individually a bit messy here but the way they were grouped into almost chapter-like segments meant that when you see them all together, they work. Nods to the patterns and structures that recurred from season to season were sprinkled throughout, from sailor stripes to corsets to the expected whirlwinds of colour. I’ll even allow the wellies in that one outfit; if I can get over bucket hats in Peter fucking Pilotto’s last RTW show, I can get over some questionable shoes here. Middle aged fishermen and boys who liked to pose with monster carp in their Tinder pictures as some weird display of masculinity everywhere rejoice.

Now onto a show that I personally found slightly disappointing: Margiela.

I think this one is a bit TOO weird for me. Like if you’re gonna go avant-garde, go all out. Chiffon gimp masks (I don’t know if that’s the intention here but that’s what I’m getting, sorry Maison) are something I’m not particularly fond of and I’ve never been a fan of the Tabi boots in the first place, let alone when they’ve seemingly been blown up to Michelin man style proportions. I didn’t find the show to be a total lost cause-I enjoyed the colour palette and I’ve always liked that contrast stitching detail, plus the bowler hats are interesting-but on the whole considering how much I liked the last RTW show, this is a bit of a let down.

The looks I included are salvageable but (I feel mean saying this) there were genuinely a lot of pieces that did just resemble bits of fabric draped over each over with no discernible rhyme or reason, so much so that they reminded me of some of the monstrosities I saw at a Drag Race pub quiz this one time where we had 5 mins to make some garms out of loo roll and then have a team member model them for points down a makeshift runway.

Ralph and Russo was alright. There were a few pieces that I really liked but again, I can’t help but compare this collection to the last, where it felt like the fussy details of bows and sequins and feathers and the Barbie Dreamhouse palette were utilised with a direction in mind. Here, I don’t get that. As ever, the gowns are gorgeous and I’d pay good money just to try one on for five minutes but as an overall collection I’d say there was a lack of higher vision, which is probably the snobbiest sentence I’ve ever written so forgive me.

As for Ronald Van Der Kemp, I could’ve done without including it to be honest, if it weren’t for the few pieces I’m in love with: the velvet cape, fur trimmed jacket and blue satin dress are probably my favourite pieces here.

So onto a collection I liked a lot more: Schiaparelli.

The influence of nature from flowers in bloom to insects to the organic structure of the human skeleton is as present as ever, though this collection includes a lot more delicate symbolism than usual. Honestly, the details make it for me; the brooches, earrings and facial jewellery are other-worldly touches to outfits that could otherwise be simple fashion magazine editor on-the-go. That’s not in itself a bad thing! The suits are gorgeous. I mean, I’m talking fashion editor in New York in a power suit yelling orders down the phone while she rushes along with a coffee. A Miranda Priestley in the making type woman. THAT’S a modern take on the divine feminine that Maria Grazia should’ve been going for; our goddesses aren’t women who sit around looking pretty (though that helps too) and place curses on mere mortals anymore, they’re women who get shit done.

With regards to Valentino, which was also a delight, let me start by saying this colour palette is EVERYTHING. It’s ugly sisters in Cinderella fantastic, and we know those 2 were the real fashion icons really. Other than that, I adore the Old Hollywood silhouettes from the gloves to the Liz Taylor-in-Cleopatra-level-dramatic earrings. Everything is opulent and expensive-looking and pretty much what we’ve all come to expect from Valentino. A strong 8/10.

For me personally, Viktor and Rolf was a standout and one of my favourite collections of haute couture week. It’s not going to be everyone’s cup of tea and I know it’s at the complete opposite end of the spectrum to what was probably my other favourite collection, Elie Saab, but this is just my style down to a T, the perfect balance of grungy and cutesy that I want to achieve.

There’s probably going to be a lot of objections to the temporary face tattoos and I get that, but I think they’re fucking sick. I obviously wouldn’t get a permanent one lest my mother murder me in cold blood however if I did, you bet I would be pairing them with frilly-ass babydoll dresses that you could pick up in Camden Market like this.

And last but not least (that would be Dior), there’s Zuhair Murad.

Sigh.

IDK, man. Seeing Zuhair Murad dresses on Tumblr and WeHeartIt (remember that site? It still exists!) as a 14 year old was one of the things that got me into fashion, so it sucks that almost every time a new collection comes around, I feel underwhelmed. Disappointingly, the brand hasn’t really progressed all that much since 2013. It goes without saying that the stoning and the embroidery and sequins are stunning and would make anyone feel like a princess but from a critical point of view, I’m just not seeing anything new here. Whereas I feel like Elie Saab, for example, reflected the growing fascination with East Asian fashion and recognition of the supremacy of the region’s street style in his haute couture last collection, Zuhair Murad seems to be stuck designing the same dresses he was 6 years ago.

To pick one example, the rounded stoned necklines are so outdated that they’ve been making their way onto department store prom dresses for years. I get that it’s supposed to be a reference to Ancient Egyptian style and I respect that, I was one of those 8 year old that was obsessed with mummies and the “Curse of Tutankhamun”, but couldn’t it be done in a more interesting way? It’s Maria Grazia’s spin on Ancient Greece all over again. Now I get how how the I imagine very niche subsection of people who are into fashion and Julius Caesar (okay, so I don’t even know if they still believed in mythology and all that malarky at that point in history but just roll with my comparison here) might’ve felt going through Vogue Runway. Anyway, I hate to end on a critical note and so be clear, these are still absolutely magnificent dresses. If we ignore those ugly round necklines, that is.

So that’s it for this post! If you read part 1 and 2, I hope you enjoyed it! As always, let me know your opinions and feel free to disagree. I’m literally just about to start trawling through all the A/W 2020 RTW collections though I imagine that’s gonna take me way longer to do than this, so I wouldn’t expect that for a month or two. In the meantime, I’m trying to fit shooting a Euphoria-inspired lookbook into my days off work which is looking atm like it’s going to be the end of March, so look out for that, and also a review of the red carpet fashion from this season’s award shows.

As ever, thank you so much for reading and again, thank you for the reception on part 1 if you were one of the people that read it. It makes staying up til 3am with the jitters seem worthwhile, lol!

Lauren x

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five-wow · 4 years

Text

10.19!!! watched it, had thoughts about it, wrote them down. the usual under the cut.

there is a random man in steve’s kitchen (is it the helicopter guy? i... don’t know him well enough to be sure but i am genuinely unsure who else it would be) wearing a “seals do it better” apron while he’s cooking and talking to junior about how this recipe helped him “seal the deal” with the love of his life. okay, random man. you’re not acknowledging it, but you just made a seal pun, so you have my attention.

btw, for a good long moment i genuinely thought this guy might be danny in some kind of weird dream sequence future. i mean, old danny in steve’s kitchen wearing a seal-themed apron and making waffles? i wouldn’t hate it.

junior about how it’s going with tani: “it’s amazing.” okay a) YAY and THAT IS VERY CUTE and b) even so, it’s hilarious to me when random guy says “sounds like you’ve got it bad” just based on junior saying that it’s amazing while he kind of smiles vaguely. cute as it was, it wasn’t a passionate love declaration.

junior lies in bed awake at night dreaming of his thing with tani working out (and not sleeping because he’s scared it might not) and i just !! he’s a smitten mess over her and i adore it, even though his level of anxiety sounds like it’s a little detrimental for his sleep, omg.

fjdkfd we get a scene of adam and quinn who went surfing together and OF COURSE they’re standing under the beach showers as they talk because i feel like adam is literally contractually obligated to have a certain number of shower scenes each season.

tani!! gave quinn!! some surfing pointers!! let’s review: we know that tani is really great at surfing and definitely better than junior, because we had a scene once of them getting back from a surfing trip and junior was slightly pouty over it and tani was absolutely unwilling to downplay her own skill and it was Very Good, and now, in these last few episodes, tani was first present during noelani’s surfing lessons and now she’s apparently been giving quinn advice, and the idea of the h50 women hanging out? the idea of tani being supportive and sharing her knowledge? it’s all so good, ahhh. (ALSO. my mighty need for tani and kono to meet grows with each and every mention of tani’s surfing skill.)

oh my gOD i wrote that bit in brackets and hit play on the episode and IMMEDIATELY adam says that he’s used to being second best in the ocean because “my ex wife was a pro surfer, and very competitive.” YES. GOOD. LOVE THE KONO REFERENCE.

quinn gets a dramatic call from an olivia! i read an episode description, so i know that’s her ex-step daughter. i’m a little hesitant about this “btw quinn has an ex-husband” subplot, but also curious to see where they’re going with it, and quinn jumping to help out a teen girl that she still has a strong bond with is an angle of approach that could potentially be very very relevant to my interests.

cows! “moooo” say the cows, quietly, under the music. they’re not important or plot-relevant, i just like cows.

fjdkfd olivia has a Bad Dad and yes, i do want quinn to adopt her now. it could be good! she could swap tips with steve about how to let your adopted teen know they’re loved and safe and worth so much more than what their parents gave them.

tani to junior: “what, you think i didn’t have a life before i met you?” junior’s eyes: [shoot up to steve, standing right behind tani, who is junior’s mentor AND boss, making it slightly awkward to have a relationship talk right in front of him during work hours] POOR BOY (but also, yes, tani, tell him).

junior is now obsessed with the mystery of why tani is so familiar with a random rancher bar an hour away from her house, and to be honest, so am i.

tani wON A LINE DANCING COMPETITION FOUR WEEKS IN A ROW. that is the BEST solution to the mystery, my gosh.

tani: [brags about her line dancing skills and calls herself the queen] junior: “who are you?” fdjkfdjkfd junior, i don’t even know why you’re suprised that a) tani slays at something she did or b) she is utterly unapologetic about that fact.

olivia says that maybe quinn could come watch her play volleybal some time and quinn says that she’d love to but it’s complicated and don’t do that, quinn! my heart hurts now!

OKAY so olivia isn’t doing cheer this year even though she was captain the previous year and she makes up an excuse about it being because of the other girls but it’s actually about HER DAD taking the money that quinn gave her for a UNIFORM which means she probably couldn’t even try out and I HATE THIS. find your ex and kick his ass, quinn.

lou, after talking about macadamia farming: “but here’s where the story gets a littllllle... nutty.” tani, fistpumping: “nice one.” punner solidarity!! good stuff, good stuff. (though i do wonder what happened to danny’s punning streak in later seasons. anyone remember 1.14, when he joked about the head in a box? he’s lost his appreciation for this fine art and it’s a tragedy, honestly.)

quinn has enlisted adam’s help in tracking her ex (jake) down and she’s telling adam a little about how she never thought she’d fall for a guy like him but he was charming, and then she says “and olivia” and THAT’S when she really smiles, and look, PLEASE don’t let this episode end with olivia still living with her dad because will have to write fix-it fic.

quinn: “i haven’t told anybody i was married, not even steve.” that’s cool, but like, do we believe that means steve doesn’t know? if his background checks haven’t gone completely downhill in the last few years, i would assume he’s figured this out, right? (i love quinn’s “in case you haven’t noticed, i’m not really a sharer” that she adds, because it fits with her personality and it’s just nice to have a female character that’s allowed to be a little secretive about her past in a way that doesn’t feel, idk, sensationalized.)

i have seen a lot of gifs of this episode by now and they’re all of steve and danny and the horses so i’ve seen most of their very polite discussion that ensues when danny calls steve out on not asking him if he wants to ride along, but it’s still utterly glorious. grace gets mentioned, too! and the way danny ends it with “why don’t you try to keep up?” as he passes in front of steve, with steve watching him go? that is flirting. blatant flirting in front of all of their poor teammates. (at least now junior can feel a little less awkward about bringing his relationship with him on the job!)

fjdkfdjk lou’s “all this and they still go time to argue, isn’t that nice?” is A+

steve and danny, as they’re super leisurely chasing some criminals through the woods on horseback: yes, this would be a good time to make up an argument about absolutely nothing at all.

oh gosh, okay, danny says “you know i can uh, i can hear you at night” and steve’s response is “why don’t you get some earplugs?” and um. uh. it’s followed by context, i know, but come on, jfc.

“when i moved in a couple months ago” he’s just GOING for it now, omg. not “came to stay with you”, no attempt at hiding that he’s been staying with steve for literal months at this point - just. when i moved in. a couple months ago.

(i am obviously also very aware of what danny is saying about steve not sleeping and how that’s a new thing because it wasn’t like that a few months ago and steve’s evasiness about it and i am VERY WORRIED ABOUT THAT but i’m also electing to somewhat ignore it because. my god. screw that. we don’t want any of where that seems to be headed in this house.)

“i appreciate it. thank you.” this is growth and it’s good and it’s steve realizing that maybe just his quippy putdown isn’t enough of a response to danny’s genuine offer of support! (and again, we’re not thinking about reasons why he might want to think twice about how he treats danny so danny will know he’s appreciated, because there is no reason for steve to be worried about that, because nothing is going to happen.)

steve: “cuff him, danno.” DANNO. danno has returned from war!!

fjdkfd and then steve says it again in like, the next sentence he says. really cramming in those danno’s suddenly.

oh noooooo. quinn tells adam that jake could be a very good dad (which is valid! addiction is a disease and it’s good to know he wasn’t always like this to olivia, even if i don’t think it excuses what’s happening now), but then she says that jake was all the things she always wished her own dad could be and that maybe that’s why she was so drawn to him, and. okay. did not need that. h50 has a tendency to make women compare their love interests to their dads that makes me very uncomfortable. (the other big one that springs to mind is when abby and chin are courting and chin opens a car door for abby and she says something about how she always admired chivalry in her dad and she thought that died out with his generation and it’s this weird thing where she seems to be flirting by going “wink wonk you make me think of my dad” and oh my god. let’s just say it’s very much not my thing.)

steve and danny end up holed up in a cabin while seven people shoot at them and ahhh, just like old times. also just like last episode, to be honest, with the whole cabin filled with poison thing, but at least there’s no poison this time! that’s a plus!

steve’s improv involves LASSO’ING a guy i’m screaming

dude gets the drop on steve, they have an epic fight, steve HITS HIS HEAD and the dude picks up a GIANT LOG to hulksmash on steve’s head, presumably, and then danny swoops in to the rescue and!!! that’s also very much like old times!!! especially with this forest green color scheme and steve lying on the floor a little dazed it really reminds me of that episode with the girlscout troop in season 3.

(so. in this possible universe we’re not talking about where steve might be sick again and could be pacing at night because he knows or fears he’s going to die (you know the one) do you think that maybe part of why his first words to danny are “why’d you leave the cabin? that wasn’t the plan” is that he was kind of... hoping the other guy would get to finish him off? do you ever think about how steve mcgarrett, man of action, would almost definitely rather go out in a blaze of glory after taking out six guys all on his own with danny having his back, than after watching his own body slowly betray him and give out on him after losing a painful and drawn-out fight with itself?)

confused, frowny steve who almost definitely has a concussion and is also still very bloody is oddly cute, gosh. also, nincompoop! definitely one of danny’s most wonderful insults yet.

quinn gets her ex arrested and yells at him and tells him that if he doesn’t clean up his act, he’ll lose custody of his daughter, and then she drives away and she’s sobbing and trying not to and just !!!!! this was definitely the good kind of “quinn has an ex-husband” storyline, but also very painful.

the sunset scene! seen this in gifset too, but hoooo boy, it hits very differently with actual sound. (i may also have described the scene to my sister and mentioned the “probably ‘cause i figured i’d see a million more” and her immediate response was “oooh, he’s dead” and yES, that’s what i was TELLING YOU i’m worried about and also what i’m not thinking about so let’s just pretend i’m not typing these words right now.)

fdjkfdjkfd i’m sure that steve turning to danny just as he says “those are the things that you’re gonna miss the most in the end, you know” after mentioning things you see every day is just. a total coincidence. yeah. he’s totally just turning away from this sunset he was so entranced by a moment ago to look at danny’s face because he wants to stretch his neck. uh huh.

there’s banter about squirrels and it’s good and then steve says “admit it danny, you’re gonna miss this when it’s done” and that sounds very meta, omg, but it gets better when danny says “yeah, maybe, but i would never say it out loud” because that is literally a way to say it, out loud.

a very good episode!! i loved meeting olivia and learning about quinn’s background and there was some prime tani content and to top it off a lot of mcdanno in the second half, and if we just completely ignore that this episode also made my anxiety about the series finale skyrocket (which i knew it would, based on what i’d gathered of other people’s response to it, but that still didn’t accurately prepare me) it was wonderful and i liked it a lot!

#10.19 #h50 spoilers #h50 #I. DO NOT WANT TO THINK ABOUT WHAT MIGHT BE AHEAD

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kikizoshi · 4 years

Text

Gogol Dialogue w/ Turgenev then Dostoyevsky

Gogol stared suicidally down at a blank page.

He didn't bother brushing off the itchy black flakes accumulated in his hair from the quill nib's scratching, nor did he concern himself with the fact that he was, as was he every evening, due in the dining room in about… negative five minutes, so indicated the glowing clock. His only care, rather, was the fact that, in the four hours he sat staring at the page, not a single image in his mind seemed to want to grace its empty canvas.

Unlike many who tried this craft, he wasn’t want for stories. He imagined a Tsar enjoying a heroine, embracing her and singing her praises as she slid a knife from her thigh into his back. He remembered two young men talking in a plain drawing-room, sparsely furnished--especially compared to the men, one of whom’s shiny black suit hugged his frame in place of the woman long-since gone; the other who quite resembled a gentlemanly peacockish clown, with frilly lace and a quilt of vibrant patterns--yet the atmosphere remained homey and comfortable nonetheless. He saw through his mind’s eye these stories as clearly as the neon numbers before him, but he couldn’t find /written/ words to express them.

If Gogol wanted to orate the story to someone, to make a grand spectacle of it, the words would flow endlessly. He could go on for hours about the most inane of matters, and men would hang on his every word. However, those magical, honeyed phrases he just never seemed to be capable of forcing through his quill.

And so tonight, exactly as every night for the past three months, a restrained knock came upon his door, and Gogol sighed.

“Come in,” he said as he resignedly set the quill down. “I was practically finished anyway.”

“Ah, good,” the man's voice came muffled from behind the door, which he opened thereafter. The relatively average-sized man--an Ability user by the name of Turgenev--held quite the appearance of the black-suited man previously described, though I’m afraid Gogol neglected to mention the quite striking scarlet hair. “Dinner’s ready," he continued, "I know you probably don’t feel like eating, but you should at least come out of your…” he looked around, blatantly fraternally concerned about the, frankly speaking, hovel of a room his friend managed to subsist in, “nest.”

Gogol chuckled and stood, cracking his back at an alarming volume. He waved for his friend to leave, and went about the room, picking up the black-and-white vest he discarded as too confining hours ago and grabbing his cape from the hat rack. While he went on reassembling his outfit, Turgenev spoke once more.

“You didn't get up once?”

“Mm, yes, so it seems,” Gogol said, agitated, after a moment. “I’ve taken your advice to ‘try and write something’, but nothing comes to mind! It’s not even art block… I just have nothing I want to tell the page.”

Turgenev sighed. “You don’t /have/ to write, it was just a suggestion. Now, frankly, I wish I’d said trapeze instead and avoided this whole ennui.” He held the door as Gogol moved to exit. Gogol shuffled out.

“Seriously,” he continued as they entered the hall, “at first I thought some rest would do you good, but now it’s clear that being cooped up for days at a time is draining the little sanity you have left. What am I supposed to do when you get jobs that have you killing again? Watch your slow descent into madness from the sidelines like some half-rate circus hand watching the clown set the tent ablaze?”

Gogol forced a laugh, “Well, why not? All of your work--which has always been excellent, at least as long as I’ve known you--has been shrouded. Where’s the harm in a change of scenery?”

“I said seriously.” Turgenev sighed. “Be serious.”

“Hmm, well, seriously,” Gogol considered, turning into the dining room and taking his seat across from his friend, “Seriously, then, isn’t madness the point? After all, my namesake wouldn’t /be/ my namesake without his madness! And what am I, if not, his namesake-ee?”

“Ha,” Turgenev said, “Hilarious, I’m dying. Have you considered stand-up?”

“Eh? No, I’m writing stories right now.”

“Comedians can tell stories. I know, become a trapeze comedian.”

Gogol huffed merrily, “Well, why don’t you?”

“/I/ don’t-”

“Excuse me,” the butler of the house, Gregor, interrupted, “I wasn’t instructed to account for the palate of Gogol, so I need to have your order now.”

“Hm, well Gogol,” Gogol said with a conspiratorial wink, “probably wants--though I don’t know, you’ll have to ask him directly for confirmation, God knows where he may be--whatever’s leftover. I’ve heard he’s not picky! Although that could be just a rumour…”

“Very well,” Gregor said, unperturbed, and turned to Turgenev, “and for you? I’m afraid I wasn’t informed of your coming either, Sir.”

“Ah, no,” Turgenev said, “that’s because I won’t be eating here. There’s an assignment I’ve gotta do not long from now, but I wanted to see Kolya here first.”

“How gentlemanly,” Gogol gasped, starry gold eyes twinkling, “I’m almost jealous of your lover, Vanya! If this is the treatment she gets...”

Turgenev simply smiled. “And I,” he said, “am not in the least jealous of yours.” Gregor took the moment to slip away.

“How proper…” Gogol gazed at Turgenev, lost in bittersweet memories, “You never used to be so cordial, to imply I’d manage something as sophisticated as that.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Turgenev scoffed. He flatly punched the side of Gogol’s arm in jest, “I’m still every bit of the strapping young chap you knew. Just… in a different skin.”

“Hmm…” Gogol donned a severely suspicious face, “But old Vanya wouldn’t have implied such! No, you must be Ivan Sergeyevich now… If not, then tell me: where’s the grin in your eyes?! The coil in your limbs?! The fire in your heart?!” All of a sudden, Gogol’s face fell into a deep melancholy, and he lay a single finger over the centre of Turgenev’s breast, “It’s bitter cold in here now, I can barely feel myself.”

Turgenev frowned. “It’s cold,” he said, “because fire without fuel always burns out eventually. There’s no if, and’s or but’s. Oh, but one but,” Turgenev rekindled some warmth into a smile, “you should still be able to feel yourself; the fire hasn’t gone completely. It’s just muted right now.”

“A muted fire…” Gogol thought aloud, retracting his hand, “How very… poetic.” He laughed, “Like your hair.”

“My hair?” Turgenev tugged at his short red ponytail in confusion. “How is my hair poetic?”

“Exactly in the way that it exists!” Gogol exclaimed, “In this dull, drab, dreary, /monochrome/ colour scheme our boss seems so fond of, not one colour stands out when you’re away! Not Sigma’s grey-and-darker-grey hair, not our boss’ white-and-black suits, and /especially/ not either of my own! The only slight argument you could possibly make is for the Recluse’s eyes, and their purple is so muted they might as well skip the middle man already and turn black. No, only yours,” Gogol concluded, “is a colour that inspires.”

“Well, I disagree,” Turgenev said, smiling, “For you at least. You’re not wrong about the Recluse, definitely, but you have some colour in your eyes. Yes--they’re pale. But they’re very expressive, even when they’re trying not to be. They have a liquid shine, so maybe they’re the gasoline that keeps the red flame burning.”

Gogol clutched his chest dramatically, “My, how sincere! If I were a woman, no kings or horses could ever restore me after how far I must’ve fallen!”

Turgenev’s face lit up, and he laughed, “So, in other words, the women in my life are eggs? Give me a hundred years and I’ll never crack what on /earth/ that’s supposed to represent!” He cackled and nearly fell over. Gogol grinned along.

It wasn’t just Turgenev’s face that lit up when he laughed, Gogol thought, but his entire being. His shoulders relaxed from their usual stiffness, the rigidity melted away and the true man--the ‘Vanya’, as Gogol loved to refer to it--shone through with a blinding passion.

Every time Gogol saw it, it was as though the gamma was suddenly switched from near-debilitating dark to enlightening technicolour. Alas, the times nowadays that such an occurrence happened were few and far between. And unfortunately, Turgenev took the time in Gogol’s silence to check his watch.

“It seems my stay is up,” he rose, “or was up way too long ago. But eat when Gregor comes. He went through the trouble of getting it ready, so don’t be an ass.”

Gogol nodded and waved as Turgenev hurried off, smile taking time to fade from his face. He sighed. Along with Turgenev’s departures, Gogol’s happy interludes vanished just as soon as they appeared.

‘It’s just as well,’ he thought, ‘happiness isn’t something that’s meant for me, and Vanya’s too nice to be corrupted by me for long. Plus, I shouldn’t get carried away. He’s wrong about my eyes… If anything, mine are like Fyodor’s--no, worse, because mine aren’t weathered by compassion. Maybe an empathy, but I have no compassion to keep some sort of innocence in my eyes like he. If Fyodor’s eyes are the dead twigs left in the ashes of the fireplace, mine are the cracked stone, with no hope of ignition. But we’re both dead.’ Gogol sighed at his conclusion. ‘Lone Vanya, then, has the only touch of colour, the only spark of happiness in this God-forsaken world of ours. I suppose I should thank Him that happiness isn’t my goal.’

“...Are you going to eat?” A voice, soft but not hesitant, crept past his thoughts.

Gogol forced the mask of his smile into place and turned to look at Fyodor. “Yes! Yes, I’m just waiting…” As he spoke, he noticed the distinct smell of seasoned tomato. Quite strong was it, in fact, so strong that it surprised him, and he looked down to see an innocent bowl of tomato soup staring politely up at him.

“Gregor brought it while you were disassociating,” Fyodor supplied.

“Hm…” Gogol contemplated for a moment, mask still firmly in place, and continued, “Hm, well, I suppose…” But he, so lost in a state of confusion, couldn’t figure out how to continue. The boy seemed to take pity on him, and sat gently next to him with a bowl of his own.

“Turgenev sent me to you,” he went on, “to ensure that you would eat. So you will eat?...”

“Yes,” Gogol said, a spark of amusement in his eye as he replied. “I will eat.” He noticed, looking at Fyodor’s eyes, that his former thoughts were eerily close to the mark, though perhaps Fyodor was more like he than initially suspected. The simmering mania and deep morbidity felt sickly familiar.

“Good,” Fyodor replied. He left it at that and stirred his soup quietly. He must have known, Gogol realised in that instance, what Gogol and Turgenev thought of him--that they called him the Recluse. He was smart, even if young, and so Gogol couldn’t help wondering why Fyodor would waste time on them. On a whim, he inquired thus.

“Why?” Fyodor paused, then smiled benevolently, “‘As you do to the least of these, so you do unto me.‘” Gogol raised an eyebrow.

“You fancy yourself our saviour, then?” Fyodor merely sipped his soup carefully in lieu of a reply. Despite the care, he winced as the tomato seared his lips, and set his bowl down. After a moment, he appeared to deem it worthy of a second attempt, and brought the bowl’s lip to his own gingerly. He blew softly this time on a tilted portion before sipping slowly, and, as evinced in Fyodor’s lack of reaction, he managed to consume the cooled viscous liquid harmlessly. For reasons unknown, the boy’s actions struck Gogol as odd.

“Well, if that’s the case, then surely you’ve a plan for our salvation,” He prompted as Fyodor set his bowl down once more, “Care to share?”

“A plan…” Fyodor considered for a time, “For you two, no, not yet. Is it necessary?”

“‘Is it necessary?’” repeated Gogol, as though he couldn’t believe the words were uttered, “Of course it is! How can you save someone without the slightest clue of how you’re to go about it? Your enemy--no matter how metaphysical--isn’t going to just sit there and wait patiently for you to come up with plans. If you start a performance haphazardly, if the bar gets tossed just a second too late without the safety net of a plan, the trapezist comes crashing down and all the show is ruined.”

“Much to my fortune, the trapezist is more than capable of catching himself and his fellow performer.”

“No, not like that,” Gogol said. “That’s my point. If I’m a trapezist, then I can’t perform with a cape--it’d ruin everything preemptively! And so I couldn’t catch anyone. It’s up to the choreographer to ensure that the performers have a set route more ingrained than their own morals. If a saviour can’t ensure the safety of his save-ees, then he’s no better than an incompetent stage director.”

Fyodor frowned and drank more of his soup. After all that remained in the bowl was a splotchy red residue, and he had nothing else to occupy his thin mouth with, he sighed and rested his chin on his palm. The angle couldn’t have been comfortable, Gogol mused. Fyodor’s wrist bent at a right angle and his sharp chin dug into the delicate skin of his hand, where Gogol could already see the blood gathering under the surface. Gogol’s own hand ached in sympathy.

“Safety of what?” Fyodor asked after another moment. “If the matter is of the physical, then you’re correct. However, if it’s the soul, then so long as a person devoutly follow their God, their spirit shall be forever saved.”

“And eviscerated over time,” Gogol continued for him, “as what’s first assumed as a benign happenstance crushes self-expression and crumbles autonomy. Metaphor or not, we’re talking about performers, and performers can’t perform if they can’t hold a simple form.”

“...Eat your soup, please.” Gogol sighed, but acquiesced.

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incarnateirony · 4 years

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The way I see it is this: the threshold for het couple canon and queer couple canon should be the same. Wanting more than a handhold or whatever is *fine*, but whatever standard het romance is held to (the bare minimum to "count") should be the same for queer couples. We say all the time, "if one of them was a girl it would already be canon." Not bc of *potential* kissing, but bc it would be seen that way bc of what's already there. But you've said most of this already, so basically I agree lol!

Yup! That’s just it. If Detty or any other non-kissing couples can be taken as canon, so can queer ones, if the text is thoroughly framing it in every method equally. That’s how it works, actually! Applying a different standard *is* homophobic. And a few years ago, Destiel fandom actually knew this and pointed it out but somehow in this weird version of political extremization that we have around here, the pendulum has flipped around and knocked the octavarium on the ass from the other side.

Because people think that means you’re telling them to settle– of course it isn’t! Or making them “feel bad” for wanting more– nope! Now, will we make you feel bad if you make up a goal post where nothing counts until [your explicit marker]? Yeah, probably, cuz yeah, that’s problematic. Does it make them feel small? Tough shit tbh. For the last year or so I’ve dealt with people taking warped and extremized viewpoints to try to bulldoze over me and when I finally said “ENOUGH” and slapped back with a brick wall of history and perspective, they all cried it’s mEaN. No, you guys just don’t know what to do when your placebo activism turns out to not have substance versus the actual issues at hand, and yeah, you feel small and yeah, you feel bad.

Especially when you realize misdirected and empty gay rage got you nowhere except a hand full of very old very directed old gay rage in counter, and you really can’t cry victim after stomping on the work of activists ahead of you. If you spent years stomping on people and they finally stomp back, and you try to cry to someone as the victim, that’s literally playschool bully behavior. Grow up. When the nerd you’ve been trying to pick on for getting you to reconsider your ways turns out to have been schooled in 6 forms of martial arts and launches your ass to the nurse’s office when you come for round 14 of trying to give him a black eye, all your complaining is about being embarrassed that the nerd kicked your ass after trying to patiently deal with you this whole time. Again, playschool bullshit. Again, grow up.

This isn’t you (not Nonnie-you, just the Royal You, that know who You are) arguing with homophobes or antis anymore. Antis have even cracked in waves. Shipping-fandom-cosplaying-as-activism has completely lost the plot on what their activism lines mean but, a trained routine in thinking it was unvanquishable, have turned it against the wrong things, in the wrong way, and their own people and content. There’s now a few YEARS of “activists” flaying people for, while not 100% happy with the level of content, supporting the queer authors and content and lifting it up – warping it into lines of “settling” to attack them, to diminish them, to make THEM feel small and their own podium – now warped beyond recognition from its original position like a goddamn tea party – big and righteous; and when finally someone clobbers them with a big fat dose of reality of how far they’ve mutilated the dialogue in the name of ship warring, they complain about feeling small. And I’m sorry, fucking no. Not a soul is here to make you feel bad for wanting more. They’re here to make you feel bad for queerphobic deletion and goalpost jockeying.

As I’ve had to say like a repeating song chorus: You can do both: want and hope and push for more, while *not* deleting the queer text and efforts at hand. Complex thought processes are less appealing to many people than linear pile driving, but it’s generally how the universe functions. And when it comes down to realizing they’re setting unlevel goalposts for the levels they *want* to push it to, suddenly yeah, there’s a rug pull, and they have a choice to pull left or right. If they double down, that’s their choice. But I don’t have to humor that choice or give it platform.

But one thing I hold 0% patience for is people saying they’re here for the rep fight while simultaneously pretending there isn’t a rep fight and trying to villainize core elements like incrementalization or struggling queer authors, many of which beg for public understanding.

We could be having nuanced conversation about the values of different forms of representation; we could be having nuanced conversation about how to effectively organize to help these queer authors into better situations. We could be talking about the show’s evolutionary path, or even culture’s social evolution path and how this show will age with public perception over the years. We could be comparing it to stages of LGBT history.

But we’re not. We’re having conversations where people, abandoning their former angle of discussion, are now screaming “pics or it didn’t happen”, are now tossing up goalposts they themselves used to call homophobic only a few years ago, are now rewiring the dictionary or entire AV medium study (sometimes while claiming themselves an authority while literal cinema literacy sources and decades of studies or even just flat-ass LGBT history say they’re wrong) because they want to feel righteous for demanding more without any actual organized effort or support. They want so desperately for the remaining upset to pass as activism. So badly to flatten even other LGBT community members for trying to hold up the queer canon, because it wasn’t the canon they wanted. And once they realize someone cast Reflectga and their own bullshit methods mow them down, this time with amplified substance of the actual world beyond, they cry foul, that *they*, not the people they’ve been trying to mow over, are being cruelly bullied, just because someone said – no, enough, you’re acting like clowns, I’m fucking over biting the bullet to listen to you on it, you are well past the pale folks.

Miss me with it, fandom. If I have to explain any further than this why one of these is activism and one of these is not, then you’re already beyond hope in the field anyway. I’m not here for your petty ship war nonsense. The representation clearly isn’t for you little fucking tumblr goblins so willing to shred it for not performing to and for you how and when you want regardless of circumstance, much less if you’re even in the damn demographic being represented to goddamn begin with. No, a cis lesbian doesn’t get to tell a trans person how their rep should look. A trans man actually can’t tell a cis gay man how his should look either because their paths are fucking different.

No, a bunch of women should not be bulldozing over and deleting shit and say it’s For The Gay Men while the vast majority of LGBT men in this fandom hide away in recesses because they’re tired of being bulldozed over if they don’t comply with the shitty fandom dialogue. Or the few that do that warp into it and abandon their original points just from sheer peer pressure – often younger ones, often outside of the demographic. They certainly shouldn’t be trying to flame a middle aged male queer & all other liberal and socially conscious rights rights media representation-commenting activist for writing within his limits about middle aged queer male content. That isn’t how this. Mother. Fucking. Works. I shouldn’t HAVE to have little cluster hoards of LGBT men I adopt that hide in DM or outside of fandom space entirely and poke their nose out with peeps of cautious gratitude and fish around to see how supportive I *really* am – it *shouldn’t* have surprised one of my newly made best friends that I understood the problematic nature of penetration culture and heteronormative ideas of MLM in this fandom. Or to cautiously click my recs because they’re worried about getting fucking ass stomped for daring to speak up on their own representation. It shouldn’t BE like that.

You wanna support queer creators? Y’all missed that boat because you were too busy being headass to organize and actually petition the network. No, screaming at execs until they delete social media and put a black mark on the idea, @’ing accounts with spam until you’re put on a mute list and negatively impact marketing algorithms, that’s not petitioning. Building portfolios and presentations delivered sensibly are. A few did. Good for those people. Fuck everyone else. Virtue signaling nonsense. No wonder they’re so enamored with shitty mass marketing as a goal.

“WELL IT SHOULDN’T BE THAT WAY!”

Yeah well welcome to being a grown up. It is, whether you like it or not. It’s hard out here. America shouldn’t have a giant orange cheeto racist for its president either and yet here we fucking are. Life isn’t fair. So figure out how to actually put feet on the ground and change it instead of yodeling online like a bunch of idiots at the people trying to help you. Bobo sure as fuck did a long fucking time ago and never stopped. Maybe you should catch up. Cuz even at “slow and steady wins the race” he’s gone miles ahead of you while you’ve been distracted anally grooming like a cat or some shit.

Imagine how (not) far queer rights would get if every incremental step we took, even if it wasn’t far enough – TV or real life – we just let everyone scream and take away entirely because it wasn’t the kind you wanted. It’s regressive garbage. It doesn’t actually do you any benefit. It doesn’t do the community any benefit. It doesn’t do queer creators any benefit. It doesn’t do queer cinema history any benefit. Nobody but homophobes and other agenda’ed asshats benefit. Which is why they trained you to think like this to begin with. Stop.

#supernatural #spn #representation #bi!dean #whatever #tired #tired gay #that's what I'll tag this #destiel #lgbtqia

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evilrubberducke · 4 years

Text

Better Together- Chapter 5- A Normal Day in Paradise

Chapter four has arrived! In which a normal day is had, introductions are made, and misunderstandings compound.

Available to read on;

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19985089/chapters/50480303

FF.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13359634/5/Better-Together

Teaser below cut

Cover art by the lovely Molly James! https://mollyjames.tumblr.com/

The harsh buzzing of his alarm jolted Izuku awake. He groaned in disappointment as the last vestiges of sleep were torn away from him. He'd been having an excellent dream involving a picnic in the park with Katsuki and Uraraka. He spent a few moments futilely chasing the memories of the warm sun and pleasant company, but found them irritatingly elusive.

"Izuku, dear, time to wake up!" his mother called from the kitchen. Despite her soft-spoken demeanor, she somehow managed to make herself heard from across the apartment with little effort. "If you don’t get up soon, you won’t have time to eat before school!"

He sighed. He knew she meant well, but it was hard for him to be enthusiastic on a school day, when all he had to look forward to was—

He froze as his sleep-addled brain caught up to reality. He wasn't being forced to return to his least favorite place on the planet again. He didn't have to prepare himself for another day of torment.

He was going to learn how to be a hero from actual pro heroes. He was going to eat lunch with Katsuki and Uraraka without having to look out for spitballs or people trying to trip him. He was going to UA!

A wide smile crossed his face at the realization. He leapt out of bed and sped through his morning routine in half the time it normally took.

When he made it the kitchen, he froze in surprise. Katsuki was seated at the dining table, casual as could be despite the fact that it had been more than a year since he'd eaten breakfast at Izuku's house.

"What are you looking at, nerd?"

Izuku stood frozen for a moment, gaping like a fish. Finally, he managed to put his thoughts in order and respond.

"I… nothing. I'm just… surprised to see you."

Katsuki clicked his tongue. "I just dropped in because my mom made me leave super early, and this place was on the way to school. Don't get used to it."

Katsuki's house was actually closer to UA than Izuku's was, but he decided not to comment on that fact. He'd learned long ago that trying to make Katsuki admit he was being nice only made him deny it more fervently.

Instead, he sat down across from his friend and tucked in. As luck would have it, his mother had made extra that morning, so there was more than enough food to go around, even with Izuku and Katsuki’s generous appetites.

"I'm so glad the two of you are friends again!" Inko said, dabbing her eyes with a tissue.

"Mom!" Izuku hissed in embarrassment.

“Oh, I know you’re teenagers now and it’s embarrassing to be friendly in front of us old people, but it does my heart good to see you two so close. When you drifted apart I was worried that it would be permanent.”

Katsuki snorted. “Nah. It’d take more than that to get this nerd to leave me alone.”

“K-Kacchan!” Izuku whined, taken aback at suddenly being ganged up on.

“You know I’m right. Who else is gonna sit through your hour-long hero lectures?”

“Uraraka might,” Izuku said, somewhat petulantly.

Inko and Katsuki immediately perked up at that.

“Who the hell is Uraraka?” Katsuki asked, seeming genuinely unaware of who Izuku was referring to.

Izuku could only sigh. He should have realized that Katsuki wouldn’t remember their classmate’s names, at least not until they really met his approval. This wasn’t the first time this had happened though, so Izuku had gotten used to having to reintroduce people. He had just assumed Katsuki would put in a little more effort now that they were attending UA.

“She’s one of our new classmates who I met at the entrance exam. She’s a little shorter than me, with brown hair and pink cheeks, and pink pads on her fingertips because of her Quirk. Very enthusiastic.” He didn’t see any spark of realization in his friend’s eyes, so he tried one last time. “She was the one who beat your score on the ball toss yesterday.”

“Ohhhh. You mean Round Face.”

The nickname wasn’t bad really. Especially when compared to some of the other ones Katsuki had come up with in the past for people who irritated him. Still, Izuku hoped that Uraraka never heard it. Or that he was able to explain a little bit about Katsuki’s behavior before she did.

“Um… Yes. We’re… we’re kinda friends. Since the entrance exam.”

Katsuki blinked in surprise, while Inko began to weep openly with happiness.

“I’m so happy for you!” she said, dabbing futilely at her eyes with her napkin. “You’re going to the school you’ve always wanted to, and now you’re making friends! And with girls too!”

Izuku flushed at the implication, waving his hands in front of him. “It… it’s not like that! I mean, she's pretty and nice, but we're just friends!"

"My little boy is growing up!" she proudly proclaimed, drawing Izuku into a tight hug.

Before he could protest any further Katsuki cut in.

“Izuku, you sure she’s actually nice?”

He nodded. When they were younger, a few of their classmates had made a bet on whether they could get Izuku to think they were friends, only to leave him sobbing in front of the class when they couldn't be bothered to keep up the charade any more. The teacher had needed to physically restrain Katsuki to keep him from attacking the ringleaders.

It had taken Izuku a long time to recover from that incident. To him, the bond of trust between friends was sacred, and not something to be used to hurt other people, no matter the circumstances.

“I’m sure.” he replied, “She seemed like she wanted to be friends just as much as I did. And she helped me out at the entrance exam.”

Katsuki’s eyes widened in realization. “Wait, Round Face is the one who saved your dumb ass from falling to your death?”

“SHE SAVED HIM FROM WHAT?” Inko shrieked.

Izuku and Katsuki both froze. After the entrance exam, they had come to a mutual agreement that neither would mention exactly what had taken place to his mother. Part of this was to spare her from stress, and part was to preserve their own hides.

Inko may have abandoned her delinquent persona after graduating high school, unlike Mitsuki, but it had a tendency to emerge when her son was in danger. Both Izuku and Katsuki remembered the time she had taken down a rabid dog in a single hit when it had tried to bite Izuku. Time, age, and a rich diet may have dulled her physique, but Inko Midoriya’s spirit was as sharp as ever. Neither of the boys wanted her thinking they had been reckless or negligent when it came to Izuku's safety.

Katsuki bolted from his seat, followed shortly by Izuku. In no time, the pair had grabbed their bags and were at the apartment door. Neither had finished eating, but in that moment hunger seemed much preferable to the alternative.

“Need to grab the train!” Katsuki called back into the apartment. “Nice to see you, Auntie Inko!”

“Bye Mom!”

“We’re talking about this when you get home!” Inko called after them “Have a good—and safe!— day at school!”

“I’ll do my best!”

Inko sighed as the door slammed shut behind the boys.

“That’s what I’m afraid of.”

Links to the story are available at the top of the post, and on my profile page

#izumina #midoriya izuku #mina ashido #bakugou katsuki #uraraka ochako #mha #mha fanfiction #bnha #bnha fanfiction #dekumina #minadeku #quirk!izuku

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mostlysignssomeportents · 4 years

Text

Boing Boing Charitable Giving Guide 2019

Here's a guide to the charities the Boingers support in our own annual giving. Please add the causes and charities you give to in the forums!

Friends of the Merril Collection I'm on the board of the charity that fundraises for Toronto's Merril Collection, a part of the Toronto Public Library system that is also the world's largest public collection of science fiction, fantasy and related works (they archive my papers). Since its founding by Judith Merril, the Merril Collection has been a hub for creators, fans, and scholars. I wouldn't be a writer today if not for the guidance of its Writer in Residence when I was a kid. —CD

The Tor Project The Tor anonymity and privacy tools are vital to resistance struggles around the world, a cooperative network that provides a high degree of security from scrutiny for people who have reasons to fear the powers that be. From our early hominid ancestors until about ten years ago, humans didn't leave behind an exhaust-trail of personally identifying information as they navigated the world -- Tor restores that balance. —CD

Planned Parenthood Because we deserve health care, including reproductive, gender, and sexual health care. Because access to birth control and safe abortion is a human right. Because Trump's regime wants to destroy all of this. —XJ

Software Freedom Conservancy Software Freedom Conservancy does the important, boring, esoteric work of keeping the internet from tearing itself to pieces, playing host organization to free software projects like Git, Selenium and Samba (to name just three). The Conservancy keeps these projects legally sound and gives them a scaffold to hang their institutional structures on them. Without the Conservancy, the software you love and depend on would be in dire peril.

Electronic Frontier Foundation I have been proudly associated with EFF for a decade an a half now and have watched, half-awed, as it grew from a scrappy, brilliant little organization to a powerhouse of enormous scale and power. Every cause, every fight enumerated on this page and in your life and mine will be lost or won on the internet. EFF is the best hope we have of keeping that internet free, fair and open. —CD, MF

Creative Commons Creative Commons is best known as a tool for sharing-friendly artists, but that's just the tip of the iceberg. Since the beginning, and all over the world, CC has provided governments, agencies, research and scholarly institutions and NGOs with the tools to easily share across borders and the bewildering array of copyright laws. We can't beat trumpism without collaboration tools, and that includes legal tools. —CD

Wikimedia Foundation (Wikipedia) For 16 years, Wikipedia has been figuring out how to negotiate truth among diverse and even warring points of view. It's not always pretty and it's not always nice, but no one's yet found a better way to let ideas bash against each other until something everyone agrees upon emerges. It's not pretty, but compared to our democracy, it's a beauty queen. —CD, KS

Human Rights Data Analysis Group For more than twenty-five years, the Human Rights Data Analysis Group (HRDAG) has used data and statistical analysis to hold accountable the perpetrators of war crimes, crimes against humanity, and genocide. HRDAG is a nonprofit, non-partisan organization that provides rigorous quantitative evidence for trials, truth commissions, UN Missions, and human rights monitors around the world. In 2019, HRDAG estimated the number of women held as sexual slaves by Japanese authorities in World War Two; the number of people disappeared in the final three days of the Sri Lankan civil war; and the number of people killed in drug-related violence by the police and other perpetrators in the Philippines. In the US, HRDAG critiqued the growing use of machine learning in the US criminal justice system, especially those used in place of bail to determine who should be released while awaiting trial. HRDAG's analysis has shown that machine learning can amplify biases in criminal justice data, for example by worsening racial disparities in policing. Other ongoing HRDAG projects include research on mass violence in the Philippines, Mexico, Sri Lanka, and several confidential projects in the US and abroad . —CD

Institute for the Future There are no facts about the future, only fictions. As we've learned in this crazy political season, nothing is certain about tomorrow. But even as our attention is captured by the present, we can begin to write the story to come. A place to start is the Institute for the Future's Future for Good fellowship. Institute for the Future, where Mark and David are researchers, is a 50-year-old nonprofit that helps the public think about the future to make better decisions in the present. The Fellowship directly supports inspiring social innovators who are working to make tomorrow a better place. You can help too. Make a donation of $100 and you’ll receive IFTF Distinguished Fellow Bob Johansen's new book "The New Leadership Literacies: Thriving in a Future of Extreme Disruption and Distributed Everything." —DP, MF

The National Wildlife Federation National Wildlife Federation is a voice for wildlife, dedicated to protecting wildlife and habitat and inspiring the future generation of conservationists. Now's the time: for the people currently in charge of U.S. policy, the cruelty is the point. —RB

The Marine Mammal Center When seals, sea lion, or many other sea going pals need help, if they get lucky, they may be taken to The Marine Mammal Center, a veterinary hospital just for them. Thousands of heartbreakingly cute, but very wild, animals are rescued, rehabilitated and released on an annual basis. I'm a volunteer. In addition to the hundreds of highly trained volunteers that make the hospital run, the center always needs cash for fish and medicine. —JW

Winn Feline Foundation The Winn Feline Foundation advances feline health by supporting research and education. Winn has funded over $6.4 million in health research for cats at more than 30 partner institutions worldwide. Current campaigns include funding for research on Chronic Kidney Disease, a condition estimated to affect more than 50% of senior cats. —KS

The Southern Poverty Law Center & the Anti-Defamation League The Southern Poverty Law Center and the Anti-Defemation League fight hate, teach tolerance, and help secure justice, and fair treatment for all. "There is no 'them' and 'us.' There is only us." --Greg Boyle —JW

Facing History and Ourselves Facing History and Ourselves is an international educational group that helps young people study issues around racism, antisemitism, and prejudice in history, from the Holocaust to today's immigrant experiences to the killing fields of Cambodia. Their aim is to teach young people "to think critically, to empathize, to recognize moral choices, to make their voices heard, we put in their hands the possibility--and the responsibility--to do the serious work demanded of us all as citizens." —DP

Free Software Foundation/Defective By Design The Free Software Foundation's principled litigation, license creation and campaigning is fierce, uncompromising and has changed the world. You interact with code that they made possible a million times a day, and they never stop working to make sure that the code stays free. —CD

Free Software Foundation Europe Software has eaten the world, and software freedom is increasingly synonymous with human freedom. In Europe, far-right parties and authoritarians are inheriting a constellation of gadgets and devices that are "defective by design," built to allow corporations spy on and control their owners -- and those thugs are contemplating how they can use those companies' extraordinary powers to put whole populations under their thumbs. Free software in Europe, free software everywhere! —CD

The Internet Archive: In an era where the control of information has been weaponized, the Internet Archive's mission -- universal access to all human knowledge -- is a revolutionary manifesto. The Archive has taken on a new mission: to re-decentralize the internet and restore it to its indie, distributed glory. —CD

Open Rights Group The UK's answer to Electronic Frontier Foundation, and never more badly needed than now, with authoritarianism on the rise and the constant battering of the electorate with political misadventures and grandstanding. Brexit could allow the UK to escape the oversight of the European courts, paving the way for even-more-extreme measures. —CD

Amnesty International I just looked up Amnesty's founding principles and found tears rolling down my cheeks: "Only when the last prisoner of conscience has been freed, when the last torture chamber has been closed, when the United Nations Universal Declaration of Human Rights is a reality for the world’s people, will our work be done." These values need our support more than ever. —CD

ACLU On November 9, 2016 ACLU changed its homepage to a picture of Trump superimposed with the words SEE YOU IN COURT. ACLU's deep bench of kick-ass lawyers has been lately augmented by a much-needed group of freedom-fighting technologists, welded into the fighting force we'll need until the next election and beyond: from voter suppression to free speech, the ACLU is key to the fight. —CD, MF

Liberty With the UK plunging into surveillance dystopia where human rights are an afterthought and racial profiling is becoming official doctrine, it needs Liberty, an organisation with 80+ years' track record fighting for human rights in many incarnations of the British project. The Tories ran on a platform of repealing the Human Rights Act: when the government is officially anti "human rights," you need someone like Liberty to take the "pro" side. —CD

826 National Born in San Francisco’s Mission District in the back room of a pirate supply store, 826 National teaches young people the art and magic of creative writing through classes, DIY publishing projects, in-school programs, and drop-in tutoring at seven centers around the US. And it’s all free for the kids. Help open more 826 locations around the country! —DP

Fight for the Future Some of the Internet's savviest, hard-working-est activists. Fight for the Future has kept hope alive for Net Neutrality, leading the charge to use the Congressional Review Act to overturn the FCC's Neutrality-killing sneak attack. —CD

Demand Progress Aaron Swartz co-founded Demand Progress, and as you'd expect from that history, they're relentless in reinventing the activist playbook for the 21st century. —CD

MySociety Software in the public interest -- it's a damned good idea. MySociety produces software like Pledgebank ("I will risk arrest by refusing to register for a UK ID card if 100,000 other Britons will also do it") and TheyWorkForYou (every word and deed by every Member of Parliament). It's plumbing for activists and community organizers. —CD

https://boingboing.net/2019/12/03/charitablegivingguide2019.html

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