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soaringthroughthegalaxy · 2 months

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hiiii!! absolutely love your crosshair stuff (i’ve been on a crosshair binge since season three started lol) anyways i was hoping you could write something that’s like post-omega and crosshair escaping tantiss and reuniting with hunter and wrecker (end ep 4) with the prompts

11. I promised to love you forever, and that is a promise I intend to keep.

and

16. No matter how much time we’ve spent apart, I never stopped loving you.

like i was thinking crosshair and the reader are married but canon happened so the reader stayed with the bad batch and this would be the first time her and crosshair are seeing each other again since the end of season one at kamino

no rush for any of this btw. thankssss

Hello, hi! Thank you so much for this request. I had something similar going through my mind after the episode aired so was excited to see this drop in!! I hope you enjoy 😊

Never Stopped

When Omega's cryptic message leads to a heartfelt reunion on Ryloth's nearest moon, you didn't expect her to be accompanied by the one man you never thought you'd get to see again.

Pairing: Crosshair x f!reader

Word count: 2k

Warnings: spoilers for S3E04, we love a good reunion, inner turmoil, fluff, comfort, pet names.

“I had help.” Omega’s statement hangs in the air until the light sound of footsteps on metal reaches your ears, and you turn alongside Wrecker to watch as someone steps out of the stolen transport.

No. Not someone.

Him.

For a second, you forget how to breathe, unable to tear your eyes away from the man you never dared hope you’d see again. The last time you’d seen him had been after the fall of Kamino, on that blasted platform in the middle of the ocean. You’d pleaded with him to come with you - to leave the Empire’s clutches - but he’d declined. Your stubborn, infuriating husband.

Maker, you’d missed him.

Before you even know what you’re doing, you’re running, crossing the inky darkness between the two ships, closing the distance between you as Crosshair takes the final step down onto the planet’s surface. He doesn’t have time to protest before your arms are around his neck, hauling him into a crushing embrace. His brothers might be wary, but you aren’t.

Crosshair freezes, caught off guard by your affection. In the short time it had taken you to reach him, he’d braced himself for a slap or to be chewed out. This was…unexpected. You’re warm against him, the softness of your body so familiar, as is the scent of your shampoo. Tentatively, he slides his arms around you in return, pulling you close to suffocate all space between you both, soaking up the feeling of having you back in his arms. “Kitten...”

The whispered term of endearment is all it takes, and a heaving sob leaves you before you can stop it.

Everything since the order was given crashes down on you – the shots he’d fired as you scrambled to escape Kamino, how relentlessly he’d chased you across the galaxy, Kamino falling, the distress message he’d sent to your old comms channel…it had felt never-ending.

But it was over now.

As you bury your face against his chest, the torrent of emotions overwhelms you. There’s a sense of catharsis, a release from the pent-up anguish that had threatened to suffocate you. The weight of his presence feels like a balm to your wounded soul, and with each sob that racks your body, it’s as if a burden is lifted, allowing you to finally exhale the turmoil that had gripped you for far too long.

He’s here. In one piece. Free from the Empire’s clutches, with Omega in tow.

Hunter and Wrecker’s tension eases slightly as they witness the reunion between you and Crosshair, but they’re not ready to let their guard down just yet. They exchange knowing glances before Hunter clears his throat. “We need to go.” He shouts across the distance, feeling guilty for breaking the moment but knowing that the Empire won’t be far behind.

You pull back slightly, hands still clutching desperately at Crosshair as he meets your gaze. He’s never been one to cry, but unshed tears line those sharp eyes you’ve missed so much. Silently, you swipe away your tears with one hand, the other finding his to guide him towards the Marauder. A blur of motion whips past you, and you startle, but with a click of his tongue, Crosshair stills the creature responsible, and a hound falls into step beside him as you lead him back towards the ship.

It feels too good to be true, too easy. The nervousness Crosshair had felt rolling through him as he’d forced himself down the steps of the transport returns. Fingers interlaced with yours, he can feel the skin-warmed metal of your ring. It’s still there after everything.

He feels nauseous as you cross the darkness towards the ship that had once been his home. He glances at Wrecker as you both pass him and the apprehension on his big brother’s face wavers for just a second before Crosshair looks away, unable to stand it.

Hunter has already ushered Omega inside, the young girl saying hello to Gonky, who beeps happily at her return. Crosshair lets you situate him in one of the back seats in the cockpit as Wrecker comes up the ramp, smacking the button to shut it as Hunter takes Tech’s seat and fires up the engines.

Tech.

Crosshair swallows, bile rising in his throat. His twin is gone. Omega had brokenly told him what had happened during one of her many visits to his cell. Guilt curls through him - his brother had insisted on the mission to Eriadu and had been keen to find him, which ultimately led to his sacrifice.

Crosshair barely registers the ship setting off or the jump to hyperspace.

A soft squeeze of his hand draws his focus, and his head tilts to look across at you. Your wide eyes, which he adores, look at him with concern and something else he can’t quite put his finger on. Hunter and Wrecker are in the pilot and copilot seats, Omega curled in Hunter’s lap as they catch up while Wrecker pets Batcher.

You can practically see Crosshair’s discomfort, so you lead him out into the belly of the ship, closing the cockpit doors behind you to give the pair of you some privacy. “I thought I’d lost you.” You whisper, your voice barely above a breath as you sit side by side on one of the bunks, bodies tilted towards each other.

“Have to try harder than that.” Crosshair’s answer is quick, and the vice-like grip of dread that had encircled his heart slackens as he hears you laugh - it’s a short and sharp sound, nothing like the melodic giggles he’d grown accustomed to during the war, but it’s something. And Maker, does it feel good.

You’d almost forgotten what it was like to be on the receiving end of his quips, and for a moment, it’s like nothing has changed. But you spot something missing as you turn his hand over in yours.

His wedding ring is gone.

“They took it from me.” He’s quick to reassure you, seeing the pained expression on your pretty face. He hadn’t even been able to fight to keep it, having woken up on Tantiss without it. The troopers had quickly silenced him whenever he’d asked about its whereabouts.

Silence settles between you both for a moment, your gaze fixed on this hand - on the vacant spot. “We’ll get you a new one,” you state quietly, lifting your eyes to finally meet his.

Crosshair’s brows furrow in disbelief at your words. After everything he’s done and the pain and betrayal, he can’t fathom why you still want to be married to him. Guilt and shame churn in his gut, threatening to overwhelm him. “Why?” he asks, his voice low and raspy, his gaze searching yours for some semblance of an answer.

You reach out and gently cup his cheek, your touch sending shivers down his spine. “I promised to love you forever, and that’s a promise I intend to keep,” you say simply, your eyes reflecting a depth of emotion that Crosshair can’t comprehend. “Despite everything, I still believe in us - in you. No matter how much time we’ve spent apart, I never stopped loving you.”

A lump forms in Crosshair’s throat as he struggles to process your words. He’d spent so long convincing himself that he was better off paying for his sins in that cell. But here you are, offering forgiveness and understanding. He searches your eyes for any sign of deceit or resentment but finds unwavering sincerity and love.

Crosshair reaches out, hand shaking as his fingers brush your cheek. “Maybe you’ve hit your head too many times, kitten.” Crosshair quips, a hint of his trademark sarcasm slipping through. Despite the gravity of the moment, he can’t resist teasing you. But deep down, he’s grateful for your forgiveness and unwavering love, even if he doesn’t understand it.

You roll your eyes at his remark, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. “Maybe you just need a few more hits to knock some sense into that thick skull of yours.” You retort, your tone teasing yet filled with affection.

As the playful banter lingers in the air, a moment of quiet settles between you both, the reality of the situation sinking in. Crosshair’s gaze softens, his hand lingering on your cheek as he soaks in your closeness. “I love you too.” He whispers, his voice barely audible above the hum of the ship’s engines. “I never stopped either.”

Your heart swells with relief and happiness, and with a soft smile, you press a gentle kiss to the back of his hand, feeling the slight tremble beneath your lips. “What happened, my heart?” You ask, your voice soft and concerned, brows drawn down as you watch how he shakes.

Crosshair hesitates for a moment. “They did…things. Some I remember. Some I don’t.” He answers vaguely.

You’re familiar with this game. He doesn’t want to think about it. Doesn’t want to talk about it. And while you know he'll need to one day, today’s not that day. Respecting his unspoken plea not to delve deeper into the horrors he endured, you gently squeeze his hand, offering him a reassuring smile. “We don’t have to talk about it now.” You murmur softly. “But we need to get you out of those awful clothes.” You change the subject, wrinkling your nose. “Handsome you may be, but this is not working.” You make a vague gesture at his outfit.

Crosshair chuckles softly at your remark, the memories chased away for the time being by your attempt to lighten the mood. “I’ll have you know; I make anything look good,” he retorts with a smirk. “But I suppose some fresh clothes wouldn’t hurt.”

You nod in agreement, grateful for the ease with which the two of you fall back into rhythm. “Exactly, and I’m sure I can find something more comfortable for you.” You reply, standing up and glancing around the small quarters of the ship.

As you start to pull crates out from the nearby storage racks, Crosshair watches you with a slight smile, admiring the familiar sight of you in motion. “You always know just how to take care of me,” he remarks, his voice low and warm, a tone saved just for you.

You shoot him a playful smile over your shoulder. “Someone has to.” You quip back, pulling out the crate you’d been looking for.

His kit crate. You still had his kit crate, with all your doodles on the outside – his name in Aurebesh, the squad’s symbol, a copy of his tattoo, and ever so slightly wonky hearts that he’d made a show of grumbling about but secretly loved.

Crosshair’s surprise is evident as he watches you retrieve a clean undersuit from the crate. He’d assumed its contents would be long gone - tossed aside, sold, or scrapped. The fact that you kept all his armour, along with his bucket, fills him with a strange mix of emotions. “Didn’t think you’d keep it,” Crosshair finally manages to say.

Before you can respond, footsteps interrupt the moment, drawing your attention towards the source. Hunter steps out from the cockpit – even with the door shut, he can still hear everything. His eyes meet Crosshair’s, and while he knows there’s a lot for them to talk about and work through, and he’s still not entirely sure he fully trusts his baby brother, he wants to offer him some reassurance. It’s the least he can do. “We were never going to get rid of it,” Hunter says, his voice firm yet gentle. “You’re still one of us.”

Crosshair finds himself at a loss for words. Emotions swirl within him, a tumultuous mix of gratitude and guilt. As Hunter’s words sink in, his gaze flickers back to you. Despite the doubts and fears that linger in his mind, one thing is certain: he’s home.

With a small smile, you offer the clean undersuit to your husband. “Here,” you say softly, your voice laced with affection. “Let’s get you changed.”

Tag list: @clonethirstingisreal @starrylothcat @cw80831 @issa-me-bry-blog @leftealeaf @isaidonyourknees @padawancat97 @dangraccoon @jedi-hawkins @dreamie411 @sverdgeir

#Soaring's Ask Box #tbb crosshair x reader #tbb crosshair x you #crosshair x reader #crosshair x you #tbb crosshair #the bad batch x reader #the bad batch x you #bad batch x reader #bad batch x you #tbb x reader #tbb x you #the bad batch #star wars the bad batch #the bad batch crosshair #crosshair #ct 9904

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e-the-village-cryptid · 7 months

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Bix Caleen Playlist!

A playlist in chronological order from the opening of season 1 through the end of an imagined season 2. Reasoning/events for each song and lyrics excerpts under the cut.

1. "Bix Caleen" by Nicholas Britell— let us start off with some Bix Vibes

2. "I Go To Work" by Delta Rae— opening of season 1, Bix is mostly just focused on making a living and creating a stable life for herself

I go to work Every day to be worthy The ground on which I stand I go to work Can't nobody can hurt me This hammer in my hand

3. "Chasing Twisters" by Delta Rae— Cassian shows up again, asking for favors. I imagine this song as a sort of duet between Bix and Cassian, with some lines from one or the other's perspective.

Cassian: And I went home Chasing twisters in the canyon My cathedral is the badlands Dust and devils on my conscience Come back to me, darling Bix: (hearkening a bit forward to that moment in ep 12) Don't you know I dream about you Don't you know I dream about you

4. "Drift" by The 5:55— In the aftermath of the Corpos coming to Ferrix, Bix tries to piece her life back together.

Oh I gotta hold my post Before I slip into the violent road and throws me in To the wild I hope I find the light again 5. "Is There Anyone Out There" by Delta Rae— Bix attempts to signal Luthen one last time, despite knowing it's a lost cause. She is left lost and alone with the radios permanently silenced.

Is there anyone out there? You know me I am the son Of a lost country Of a new world And we were born to run And we never looked back

and All my heroes they were strange We all just want to be the same But who will lead us when they are gone? Who will save us when the wrong ones have won?

6. "Sleep" by My Chemical Romance— In the aftermath of the interrogation, Bix is tormented both awake and in her dreams by the effects of Gorst's device as well as the guilt of Paak dying for her actions.

A drink for the horror that I'm in For the good guys and the bad guys For the monsters that I've been

and

And sleep Just sleep The hardest part's The awful things that I've seen

7. "Let Go" by Ark Patrol— After her rescue, Bix struggles with PTSD, dissociation, and generally feeling that her mind still isn't free from the Empire's clutches. (This one's more for the instrumental part of the song than the lyrics— the song feels like a drifting, dissociated mind.)

Stuck inside your clutch It's chilling to the touch Never liked it much And now you won't let go

8. "Lessen the Damage" by Ark Patrol— As Bix recovers, she becomes overwhelmed with anger and a desire for revenge against Dedra, Gorst, and the entire Empire.

I'm trying very very hard not to quote the whole song here because the whole thing is perfect but here are some excerpts:

When you crossed me Didn't know what you had done A chain reaction happened And it's too late to run

You look at me, I look at you And you know what I'm gonna do

and

Leave her, don't touch her Let me be the one to destruct her

9. "Little Pistol" by Mother Mother— Despite her newfound rage and purpose, Bix can't shake the terror from the aftereffects of the torture. Her fear gradually transforms into a near-suicidal desire to take on the Empire with no regard for the consequences for herself. (Also, the guitar line on this song sounds remarkably like Bix's theme!!)

Up on my side, where it is felt I pack a little pistol on my pistol belt I think it might be fear Of the world and the way it makes you feel afraid

[...] And now I want brimstone in my garden I want roses set on fire And I, well, I want what's best for me And I, well, I think I know just what that means

[...]

And I, well I found what's best for me And now I see no tragedy And I, well, I've found a burning rose And now I won't be packing little pistols No, no, no more

10. "Never Find My Place" by Poppy— Five years after Season 1, with the Rebellion truly erupting across the galaxy, Bix returns to Ferrix with a group of Rebels to recapture her planet from Empire control or die trying. This whole song is genuinely perfect but once again I will attempt restraint with the excerpt:

It's been five years tonight Therе isn't time for reminiscing Needle in my sidе I force my fears to disappear

The evil I have faced Is about to be erased You broke into my life uninvited

Pick up the gun and run Take what's mine and get my space 'Cause I know that I will be fine If I never find my place

Thank you if you got this far!!!

#andor #bix caleen #i told myself i wasn't gonna put too much delta rae on this playlist or quote half of each song in this post #i may have failed on both counts #ah well #it is the ideal playlist for ME #an e original

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soloorganaas · 1 year

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I posted 6,898 times in 2022

That's 3,959 more posts than 2021!

525 posts created (8%)

6,373 posts reblogged (92%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@delicatefalice

@princsssleia

@purrvaire

@sweetpeasandlilies

@bedcorpse

I tagged 4,938 of my posts in 2022

Only 28% of my posts had no tags

#hp - 936 posts

#otp: i'm mental about you - 328 posts

#otp: i love you i know - 325 posts

#bobf - 237 posts

#ch: hope is like the sun - 218 posts

#ch: we choose who we really are - 199 posts

#obi wan kenobi - 168 posts

#star wars - 150 posts

#may the force be with queue - 140 posts

#wolfstar - 139 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#and then snape figuring out about remus because he’s nosey and vindictive and always looking for ways to weaponise people’s vulnerabilities

My Top Posts in 2022:

Sirius Black is heavily coded as queer, especially in his relationship with Remus, which HP fandom has been discussing for two decades. But Sirius is also heavily coded as neurodivergent, specifically with bipolar disorder, and that’s just as essential to his character (and the awful treatment he gets from JKR) as his queerness

rest of the post here

282 notes - Posted May 8, 2022

thinking about when remus first sees sirius’s mugshot in PoA. in the books and films he’s mangled and manic so the photo must have been taken long after he arrived at azkaban. remus has been haunted by and trying to forget sirius for 12 years but the only image he has of him is the person he knew and loved before azkaban - and maybe a terrible memory of him being dragged away there. then suddenly he’s faced with a sirius that’s unrecognisable, a sirius who looks like what everyone believes he is, a sirius that punches his gut and breaks his heart in equal measure because somewhere buried beneath the matted hair and manic eyes and screaming mouth is the face of a person he loved for ten years. the face that he saw laughing in front of the common room fire or gazing at him across the classroom or that he woke up next to smiling drowsily at him. now it’s the face of a mass murderer who betrayed not just their best friends but betrayed him. it’s two people who can’t both be real but are blurred together in a way that’s tormented remus for over a decade that he can no longer run away from because it’s quite literally staring him in the face

and he has to see that photo everywhere he goes for a year

345 notes - Posted September 2, 2022

all I got from din not being able to handle the darksaber is that he clearly needs training from a local jedi

814 notes - Posted January 26, 2022

never not gonna be mad about tales of the jedi being released whilst andor’s still on. never not gonna be mad about andor not getting the recognition it deserves. I basically could not use tumblr until I’d seen the new obi wan ep, but now I have to go searching for andor content. it’s literally one of the best pieces of star wars media ever made. it’s a risky difficult nuanced groundbreaking and truly essential for our time piece of media, not just for disney but across the fucking board right now. it is sheer talent from start to finish and it’s being looked over just the same way rogue one was and I am m a d

1,394 notes - Posted October 26, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

absolutely destroying me how leia I never get to go anywhere organa spent her childhood desperately trying to leave alderaan and see other planets and explore the galaxy until at some point she could never go home to alderaan and the other planets were all she had left

2,429 notes - Posted May 27, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#not wolfstar beating out hanleia by THREE POSTS #star wars would trump this all if I used it as a catch-all tag tho

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macpreg · 3 years

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Vader making me do a little ~ʷⁱᵍᵍˡᵉ~

#dont mind me just wiggling #star wars #rebels #darth vader #ep: fire across the galaxy #ep: the siege of lothal part 1

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darth-memes · 2 years

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Road to Obi-Wan Kenobi

This is our list to watch before the show:

MOVIES & TV

In Chronological Order:

Ep I. The Phantom Menace

Ep II. Attack of the Clones

The Clone Wars

(Just the essentials, because it could be the whole show. But, come on, do you really need an excuse to rewatch The Clone Wars?)

Dooku Captured (1x11 - 1x12)

The First Satine Arc (2x12 - 2x14)

The Mortis Arc (3x16 - 3x18)

The Zygerria Arc (4x11 - 4x13)

The Rako Hardeen Arc (4x15 - 4x18)

Revenge (4x22)

The Maul-Mandalore Arc (5x14 - 5x16)

The Siege of Mandalore (7x09-7x10 just the first two episodes)

Ep III. Revenge of the Sith

Star Wars Rebels:

Twin Suns (3x20)

Ep IV. A New Hope

COMIC & BOOKS

In chronological order:

Before Ep I. The Phantom Menace:

Master & Apprentice

Age of Republic: Qui-Gon Jinn

Before Ep II. Attack of the Clones:

Age of Republic: Obi-Wan Kenobi

Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin

Before Ep III. Revenge of the Sith:

Dark Disciple

After Ep III. Revenge of the Sith:

Star Wars: Darth Vader - Dark Lord of the Sith

Ahsoka, interlude between chapter 20 and 21

Star Wars (2015), #7, 15 i 20

During Ep IV. A New Hope

From a Certain Point of View:

"Master and Apprentice" - Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon

"Beru Whitesun Lars" - Beru Lars

"Time of Death" - Obi-Wan and Vader

FOR THE INQUISITORS:

Star Wars: Darth Vader - Dark Lord of the Sith

Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order

Star Wars Rebels (The Grand Inquisitor essential episodes):

Rise of the Old Masters (1x05)

Call to Action (1x13)

Rebel Resolve (1x14)

Fire Across the Galaxy (1x15)

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lovely-ateez · 3 years

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Broken Strings~

ꕥPosted: 7/20/21

ꕥGenre: Fluff, Angst, Smut, College!au, Rockstar!au

ꕥPairing: Fem!Reader x Rockstar!Yunho

ꕥWord Count: 10k+

ꕥWarnings (please read all!!): Yunho’s ex is an absolute asshat, death threats towards both Yunho and reader, mention of knives used as weapons, San is a bisexual king (happy late pride month), unprotected pool sex/public sex (no one is around but I guess it still counts), masturbation (f), foul language, mentions of alcohol intake, reader is mentioned to have dark brown eyes several times which you can just ignore if you have different colored eyes ofc, mentions of a restraining order against an ex, please let me know if I missed something!!

ꕥTag List: @cappujinho @bobateastay @nevieatiny

ꕥA/N: The song lyrics are ones that I wrote myself specifically for this au and I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t nervous about posting it. I know there isn’t any tune or anything, but hopefully it sounds like a real song someone might sing. Also I’m not writing angst for a while after this holy shit I’ve been crying too much over this I’m emotional okay

“Date night! Date night! Date night!” I grabbed my boyfriend’s arm, bouncing on my toes.

Yunho raised a hand to cover his ear, scrunching his face, “Babe, I love you, but I think you’ve deafened me.”

I pouted at his tone and crossed my arms, “You’re such a grump.”

“Oh whatever.” He smiled, “You ready?”

I smiled at him and nodded.

Ever since his band, Sidekick Heart, began to pick up traction, he had less free time and our full-day dates once a week soon became date nights every few weeks. Most of his time was spent writing songs, producing them, and practicing endlessly. The fact that he had a tour coming up soon just meant he had even less spare time. I was happy for him, of course, but I couldn’t hide my disappointment that he was leaving.

In middle school, he and three of his friends formed a band for fun, which they kept with all throughout high school. They got good, really good and almost right after they graduated they were signed by a label. Now, three years later, they’d already released two albums and one EP and earned enough money to make a living, which was why Yunho dropped out of college a month ago. Since he had steady career path, he saw no reason to continue and decided to focus on music. He still visited me at college whenever he got the chance, but his visits were becoming more and more sporadic.

We started dating freshman year of college. We had our difficulties as most couples do, but everyday I thanked the stars for pairing us together. I met him on the first day of French class, a day I know I could never forget, no matter how how our future played out.

I sat my backpack on the table in front of me, looking around the empty classroom. I was ten minutes early, so I wasn’t surprised about the lack of students. It was a bit unlikely for me to be so early, but I wasn’t able to sleep the night before and so I had extra time to get ready. With nothing else to do, I took out my phone, reading some missed text messages.

I heard the door open and my head tilted upwards, meeting eyes with a fluffy-haired brunet. He shyly smiled at me and I returned the gesture. The man took a seat in the front row across from me, only a few chairs in between us. I found it cute that he liked to sit in the front of the classroom, too. Very few people did. He turned away from me to place his backpack on the floor and take out a few books. I took the opportunity to look at him. He was attractive, for sure. His short sleeved solid black shirt followed his movements, tattoos peaking through his top. The shirt itself tucked was into ripped jeans, his black shoes matching the outfit, along with various accoutrements. His look was uncommon for college students, most just wore sweatpants with with a casual shirt. I thanked myself for dressing nice that day.

I tilted my head to get a better look at his side profile. He was so handsome that I seemed to forget I was staring. I couldn’t help but get caught up in him, not realizing that I was no longer being subtle.

He spoke without moving to face me, “You’re pretty cute, too.”

“I-I what?” My eyes widened, realizing I’d been caught.

He turned, a charming smile on his face, “You aren’t exactly discreet.”

I took a breath, trying to form a coherent sentence, “Well...can you blame me?”

He pursed his lips, trying to hide a smile, “I appreciate the compliment. What’s your name?”

I hesitated before answering him, which brought a full smile to his face. He moved closer to me before holding out his hand for me to shake. I grabbed his hand and shook it, trying to keep my hands steady. His hand was soft, clearly he took care of himself.

“I’m Yunho.”

I smiled, observing the way he lit up as he turned my hand, placing a delicate kiss on my skin. I felt my face heat up and averted my eyes. Yunho chuckled as he released my hand. Both of us looked up at the sound of the door opening, a group of students entered, followed by a lady who I presumed to be the teacher.

Yunho looked at me, “Meet me after class?”

I nodded, biting my lip as I felt excitement build in my stomach, wanting nothing more than for class to end as soon as possible.

The instant the teacher ended her lecture she left with the rest of the students, who were talking among themselves. My eyes flickered to Yunho to find him looking back at me, his backpack now thrown over his shoulders.

“You have any classes after this?” He asked in a nonchalant manner. Later he confessed to me that he was far more nervous than he appeared, claiming that he fell in love with me at first sight.

I finished placing my notebook in my bag, zipping it up and putting the straps over my arms, “Yeah, unfortunately. I’ve got World Politics in ten minutes.”

“Aww damn. I was hoping we could grab some food.” He reached into his pants’ pocket, pulling out his phone, “Maybe I could get your number instead and we could meet up later?” He wasn’t pushy or demanding, simply asking.

I nodded quickly, “I’d like that, Yunho.”

He suddenly became more shy, the tips of his ears dusting a beautiful shade of pink, “I like the way you say my name.”

I giggled, trying to hide my own shyness. I took his phone and entered my number, really hoping that he would text me. As if he read my mind, he confirmed what I was thinking.

“I’ll text you,” He looked at me with sparkling eyes before shaking his head, like he was pulled back to reality, “Oh uh...you should probably get to class.“ He raised a hand, somewhat awkwardly scratching the back of his head.

“Yeah I probably should. I’ll see you around?”

He smiled, “I’ll see ya.”

It wasn’t long before he texted me, and it made my heart flutter that he kept his word. A day later we met up, grabbing ice cream and getting to know each other. He was a dance major and had to practically beg his parents to let him pursue dance. In return they said he had to repay them with getting straight A’s. He had one younger brother who was possibly the biggest baseball fan to ever exist, he roomed with three men he’d been friends with since kindergarten, and he absolutely adored my brown eyes.

“They’re just beautiful.” Yunho gushed, “Both times I’ve seen you they just sparkle and shine like they’ve got their own little galaxies in them. I’ve never seen anyone with such genuine, kind eyes.”

I let out a girly laugh at the compliment and covered my mouth with a hand, “You’re really trying to flatter me, aren’t you?”

“Depends. Is it working?” He laughed as he propped his head on one of his hands, leaning closer to me in the booth we were sitting in. We’d finished our ice cream long ago, now shamelessly flirting and getting lost in each other.

“It might be.”

“Well I do mean it. I’m not only trying to flatter you.”

The ringing of his phone caught our attention. He smiled apologetically and reached for the device. He sighed, reading the contact name and looking back up at me.

“I’m sorry I’ve gotta take this. It’s one of my roommates and it’s entirely possible they’ve set the house on fire.”

I laughed, “It’s okay, go ahead.”

Yunho excused himself as he answered the call, walking outside. I took a look around the shop we were in, smiling at all the decorations when I noticed a woman sitting alone, eating ice cream and staring at me. Her eyes were such an ice blue that they made her intimidating, to say the least. I wasn’t too surprised, I’d dressed nice and all throughout the day I’d been getting looks. Taking it as a compliment I smiled at her and waited for Yunho to return.

“So good news,” He started as he sat back down in the booth, running a hand through his hair, which was way more attractive than it should’ve been, “They haven’t burnt down the apartment, but San—he’s one of my roommates—his car ran out of gas a few miles away from here so I’ve gotta go help him. Can I drive you back to your own apartment first?”

“Oh no, I don’t want to worry you.” I waved a hand, “I can have a friend pick me up.”

He nodded, “If you’re more comfortable with that, sure, but I’d rather drive you home, if that’s okay.”

I nodded, walking with him as he guided me out to his car. We had our first kiss when he dropped me off, leaving me with the promise of another date, and he delivered. Time and time again he proved he truly cared about me, which inevitably led to a relationship.

We heard a loud crashing in the basement of the house and Yunho let out a frustrated groan, “Oh god it’s happening again.”

He walked over to the basement door, opening it and sighing at the loud yells emitting from below.

“What is it this time?” Yunho shouted.

Wooyoung’s voice rung out, “San won’t let me use the controller!”

The man in front of me placed a hand over his eyes, over the situation entirely, “You’re still fighting over that game?”

“Crash Bandicoot waits for no man!”

“San let him have the controller or I’ll come down there and I’ll beat both of your asses!” Yunho shut the door, giving me a tired smile and walking back to me, “You’d think we would’ve outgrown this stage by now. I’d fire them both and hire a new bassist and drummer if I could.”

“Okay that’s an absolute lie, and you say that like you’re any better. I saw you arguing with Seonghwa over the last bag of chips yesterday.”

He pointed a finger at me, not trying to hide the smile on his face, “Okay that was absolutely valid. I bought those and they were mine.”

I smirked. “My point still stands.”

He rolled his eyes playfully, changing the subject, “How about after our date I sing you a couple of our new songs?” He leaned closer, his lips barely grazing my ear, “I wrote a few about you.”

I pulled back from him, feeling warmth spread in my chest. “Really? You did?”

Yunho wrapped an arm around my waist, “How could I not? You’re always my inspiration.”

I let out a string of incoherent gibberish which prompted the most adorable eye smiles from my boyfriend. I felt too honored to put my emotions into words.

“Go on.” Yunho motioned to the front door, “Grab your purse and head out to my car. I’ll let the guys know we’re going and I’ll meet you outside.”

I gave him a salute, “You got it cap’n!”

His eyes warmed, “God, I love you.”

“I know!” I teased before I grabbed my purse and skipped out of the house. The sun would be setting soon and I admired the several hues that were painted within the sky. I sat on the hood of his car, swinging my feet as I saw him walk out of the house.

“So where exactly are we going?” I tilted my head, looking forward to his response.

“Well I’ve got a couple ideas.” He held up his long fingers and counted off on them, “We could go bowling, or we could have a late night picnic, or maybe...” He moved closer, placing his hands on either side of me with a mischievous grin, “We could go swimming.”

My face lit up, “I haven’t been swimming in forever!”

“I know, that’s why I recommended it.” He laughed, “Let’s break into the swimming pool downtown. It’s definitely closed by now so we can be alone.”

I raised my brows at his words, a smile widening on my face, “Don’t we need to bring swimsuits, though?”

Yunho grinned at me and moved a hand to ruffle my hair, “Nope. We’re going without ‘em.” He lifted me off his car, “Hop in, babe.”

We approached the fence with our hands interlocked, a new message greeting us. A red and black sign with the words ‘No Trespassing’ was attached haphazardly to one of the metal wires looped through the fence surrounding the pool.

Yunho tsked, “Aw that’s cute. Like that’s gonna keep us out. This is basically our pool anyways.”

I laughed, both of us knowing full well there was no method of security beyond the sign and fence. The pool had never installed security cameras and after word spread that the owner had a fear of advancing technology, we had no worry of being caught.

He cupped his hands, holding them out for me to step on. I placed my foot on his hands as he lifted me up, helping me scale the fence. I stepped back, feeling a thrill as Yunho jumped over. It was probably the fourth or fifth time we’d done this, but each time was just as exciting. We walked over to the edge of the pool, its light blue water and the dark blue of the sunset opposing one another but making a beautiful visual.

“Alright, off we go.” Yunho’s fingers danced to the hem of my shirt, then pulling it off and ridding me of the layer of clothing. He pressed several kisses to the exposed skin, making me shiver.

Yunho then pulled back from me, slowly removing his shirt and giving me a teasing look when he caught me staring at his abs, “I look good, don’t I?”

“Shut up,” I laughed, lightly slapping his strong, tattooed arm before removing my skirt, enjoying the way my boyfriend’s eyes devoured me. I returned the action when I saw him remove his jeans, something he was clearly enjoying as well.

I turned back to the pool only to be thrown over Yunho’s shoulders. He let out a string of laughs as I struggled to get down, fearing that he would throw me into the water.

“If you throw me into the pool I’ll kill you!” I laughed, squirming on his shoulders.

“No...I would never do something like that.” I wasn’t even facing him, but I could hear the smile in his voice, which was my only indication that he was about to throw me into pool.

Before I could try to make any sort of escape, he tossed me into the water. It was cold, but less cold than I expected it to be. I coughed up a bit of water as I resurfaced and when I opened my eyes I squinted at Yunho, annoyed at how attractive he looked with the evil smirk on his face.

“You’re a jerk.” I said with no venom behind my words.

“Yeah, yeah. Brace yourself I’m coming in.”

I barely had time to move before he jumped in, his legs tucked to his chest. “Cannonball!”

I moved my hands in front of my face to block the wave of water coming my way, not feeling any surprise about my boyfriend’s childish behavior. When he resurfaced he faced me with a smile, wading towards me, embracing me in his arms, and wrapping my legs around his waist. He was so tall that he could reach the bottom of the pool without having to swim, unlike me, where I was no near reaching the bottom and needed to swim in place. With a satisfied hum he pressed several wet kisses to my neck.

“I love you,” he mumbled, his voice muffled by my skin.

“I love you too, babe.” I hesitated before I said my next words, still overwhelmed at how strong my feelings were for him, “You’re the love of my life.”

He pulled back with a bright smile on his face, his eyes shining almost as if he was tearing up, “I knew you were the love of my life the moment I saw you. And you’re all mine.” Yunho said before he placed a delicate kiss to my lips.

“All yours, babe.”

His long fingers danced along my sides, grabbing at my hips as he began to attack my chest with kisses. I giggled as the feeling of his stubble tickled my skin.

“You know, you really ‘oughta shave before you get a full beard.”

“Why? Are you saying I wouldn’t look good with one?”

I cupped his face, “You’d look amazing with one, but I thought you didn’t like beards, babe?”

“Hate ‘em.” Yunho’s laugh echoed around us, “Really weird that men can grow them in the first place. But anyways...”

His hands made quick work of my bra, letting it sink to the bottom of the pool. I opened my mouth to scold him but before I could his mouth latched to my right nipple, sucking and nipping on it in a way that made my hands seek out his hair and tug harshly at his locks. Letting out a growl, Yunho placed one hand on the the pool wall for balance and the other on my back, drawing abstract shapes there.

Yunho moved to my other nipple, giving it the same treatment and smiling when he heard my moans. In a flash he removed his hand from my back and pressed me against the pool wall, his hand now traveling to my panties.

As he removed the final item of clothing he ran a finger over my clit, giggling to himself. I gave him a look and he clarified, “Babe, you’re wet enough to fill an entire swimming pool.”

I groaned, pressing my head into his chest, “You make that same god awful joke every time we come here.”

“And as such I couldn’t let tradition die.”

“Shut up and fuck me.” I laughed, promptly helping him out of his boxers.

He continued to tease me after, switching between playing with my clit and stretching me out with his long fingers. By the time he finally gave in, I was a whimpering, pathetic mess, begging for more.

As he aligned with my walls he looked at me with delicate eyes, “Ready, little flower?”

I nodded quickly, chanting ‘yes’ over and over. Yunho once again placed a hand on the wall and hooked one of my legs over his waist, allowing him to thrust deeper inside me. He held my hand with his free one, a simple action that always melted my heart. Despite how long we’d been together, I would always get overwhelmed by him so easily. Everything about him exuded such a strong aura that sometimes just the smallest kiss would leave me breathless. The first time we were intimate he took his hand in mine and assured me he would be gentle, and every time since he’s held my hand. It wouldn’t feel right without our hands together.

“Shit—it’s been way too long since we’ve done this.” I said as he snapped his hips into mine, quickly repeating the action.

“God I know.” He let out a pained groan at the thought of it, “Four months is gonna be fucking awful without you.”

“Guess we’ll have to make do with what we’ve got now.”

“Guess we will.”

The sounds of water splashing and the echos of our moans, a symphony I had become so familiar with, was gradually reaching its crescendo. It was getting harder to keep my eyes open but I forced them to be, needed to memorize everything about this moment. The sweat dripping down Yunho’s forehead, the tattooed muscles he was flexing, the sounds and praise he was emitting, and pleasure we were both feeling--I wouldn’t see nor feel this for the next four months.

A particular snap of his hips had me seeing stars and I called out to him, letting him know I was close. Within minutes, both of us were panting and reeling from our highs. Yunho pressed his nose against mine and both of us closed our eyes, enjoying each other’s presence.

“How come every time we come here it ends in sex?” I giggled.

He blinked and moved a strand of wet hair out of my face, “Because you’re hot and barely wearing any clothes and no one’s around.”

I blushed at his compliment, “I mean like I’m not complaining or anything.”

A cocky smile formed on Yunho’s face, “Well it certainly didn’t sound like you were a moment ago.”

“Yunho!”

The man laughed, lifting me up and spinning me around in the pool before cradling me in his arms.

“I hate to say it, but we do need to head back. The world awaits for us, I’m afraid.”

I sighed, pressing into his chest, “I’m gonna miss you.”

He stilled as he pulled me closer, “I’m gonna miss you, too. You don’t have to miss me yet, though.”

“I know.” I swallowed, wishing I had something more to say.

“Come on, then.” Yunho gave me a quick kiss, “Let’s head back.”

Yunho held the front door open for me, giving me a gentle slap on my ass when I walked through. I turned around and gave him a playfully annoyed look, which he only laughed at.

As we walked towards the living room, the sound of a random sitcom filled our ears. Six heads turned our way after hearing our footsteps. Seonghwa was resting his head against his long-time girlfriend. She was a sweet girl and complimented him more than any woman I’d seen him with. They really were soulmates, if they ever existed.

San was sitting holding hands with a man he’d been interested in for awhile. I’d often see him flirting with various men and women, but he never went any further than that, too afraid of commitment. This man; however, seemed to breaking through San’s walls. I really hoped they would work out, San deserved someone as kind as him.

Wooyoung sat across from the them, who acknowledged us first.

“Hey guys. Have fun?” Wooyoung asked, smiling at my soaked hair. He had his arm around a woman I’d never seen before and I was certain that none of us would ever see her again. He had the reputation of a playboy, and every poor woman thought they’d be the one exception, the one to make him stay. I’m sure the allure of being a drummer in a band was part of his appeal, too. Maybe one day, like San, he’d settle down.

The woman became visibly upset when Wooyoung looked me with a teasing glance. Feeling sympathy for her, I decided to do my best to calm her nerves.

I spoke for us, linking hands with my boyfriend. “Yeah, we did. I think we’re gonna go clean up though.” I looked at the woman, “I’m y/n, by the way. I’m Yunho’s girlfriend.”

She didn’t even try to hide the relief on her face. “Oh! I’m Solar. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Yeah,” Wooyoung started, “Best girlfriend he’s ever had. Much better for him than Lucy.”

Yunho glared at the man, “Thought we agreed not to bring her up?”

Lucy, the woman Yunho dated before me, was arguably the scariest person I’d ever heard about. They dated for roughly three months before she became obsessive, to the point where Yunho had to get a restraining order against her. She threatened to hurt all of Yunho’s friends and family, all because she wanted Yunho all to herself. That was about all Yunho ever told me about her. Not that I complained. I didn’t exactly want to discuss his exes, even more so when they were that crazy.

I never told him, but I knew I saw her the first date we went on. I could see the way her piercing, ice eyes saw through me. I had no doubt it was her. I just hope I’d never see her again. Maybe now that she saw he was taken she’d leave us alone. There was an uncomfortable silence following, none of us knowing what to say until San spoke.

“You look like a wet dog, Yunho.” San joked, prompting laughter from a few of us, which seemed like more of a noise of relief rather than one of actual humor.

“Yeah, yeah.” My boyfriend relaxed his shoulders, “I think we’re gonna head in for the night so don’t make too much noise.” Waving them goodbye he caught up with me, placing a hand around my waist.

“Shower with me, doll.”

I placed a hand on his chest, “I would love to.”

I came out of the shower wearing my favorite large shirt of Yunho’s, drying my wet hair with a towel. The smell of chlorine had gone away for the most part; whatever chemicals the owner put in that pool always made the smell harder to get rid of. Only a small price to pay, I figured.

My boyfriend, who was much quicker than I was, looked up from his phone as he was splayed out across his bed. His tired eyes smiled at me while motioning me over. Yunho’s own hair was still drying and with his bare face and crooked smile, he was as handsome as he could ever be.

“Hey there.”

“Hey, sweetheart.” He reached an arm out to me, pulling me against him when I took his hand, “How ya feeling?”

“Tired.” I hummed, sleepily smiling against his neck.

“Too tired to listen to the song I wrote for you?”

“No! Not at all.”

Yunho chuckled, slowly brushing my hair aside and turning his head to look at me. As he had countless times, he took a breath before he turned to me, beginning to sing.

“You give me fireworks

I’ll give you the kindest words, my dear

Your love caught me

The moment I met your eyes

And how could I not fall?

Your heart bared, no disguise”

I fought to stay awake although his melodic voice seemed to be lulling me to sleep. I felt myself losing consciousness, but managed to catch the last few lyrics he sang to me.

“Now I sunbathe in the daybreak

Half asleep, half awake

Writing this song

As I hope I’ll dream of you”

Yunho brushed his fingertips brush against my face before he spoke, “Goodnight, flower.”

I muttered some form of a “goodnight” before I felt sleep take over me, nuzzling happily against my boyfriend.

I woke up in a panic, unsure why my heart was beating so fast until I looked at the clock. Eleven in the morning. I was an hour later than I should’ve been at my job. It seemed that even unconscious my body knew I was late.

“Oh shit I’m gonna be late for work!” I spoke with wide eyes.

Jumping from Yunho’s bed I stripped myself of his shirt and quickly threw my clothes on. The body that laid beside me stirred, moving the covers aside.

“Are you leaving?” He asked sleepily, his face puffy from sleep and an adorable pout on his lips.

I frowned, “Yeah. I’m sorry we didn’t get to spend more time together, babe.”

He shook his head, “Don’t worry about it. Both of us slept in.”

I tied my hair back, sighing. I was so caught up in my thoughts I almost missed Yunho’s question.

“Sorry what was that?”

He smiled, “You’re coming to our going away party tomorrow, right?”

“Of course. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” I moved back to the bed and hugged him, feeling my heart sink. I was proud of him, I really was, yet couldn’t help but feel sad that I wouldn’t see him for so long.

This was the longest tour they’d ever gone on and we’d never been apart from each other that long before. I trusted him and I was confident in our relationship, but realistically, all members of Sidekick Heart were attractive young men and a good portion of their fans were female. I was far more concerned about the female audience doing something than I was about Yunho making a move on another woman.

With one last squeeze of his shoulders I pulled back, goodbyes beginning to fall from my lips before Yunho pulled me back.

“I need a goodbye kiss.”

I pressed my lips together with a smile, gladly indulging him. Giving him one last kiss against the lips, I bid him farewell until the following day.

“So how was work?” My roommate asked as I walked in the house, propping her feet up on our couch and tossing a kernel of corn into her mouth, the lighting of the TV illuminating her blanket-covered body.

I sighed, sitting down on the floor next to her, “Other than being an hour and a half late and missing an important meeting I think it went okay. I’m just glad the day’s over.” Rubbing a hand over my face I turned to her, “What about you? How was your day?”

“Pretty damn good actually.” She smiled, removing the blanket and showing me the new ink on her upper arm. It was an assortment of flowers and matched her bubbly personality perfectly. They were now the fifth adornment on her beautiful dark skin, each one of them tempting me more and more to get a few of my own.

“Another one already, Tiff?”

“Listen, you’ll know how addicting they get as soon as you get your first.”

“You sound so confident that I will.”

“Oh I know you will. You’re dating a rockstar, after all. Not to mention he’s the goddamn lead singer and has tattoos of his own.”

“Shut up.” I giggled, “Speaking of, are you coming to the farewell party tomorrow?”

“I plan on it, but I’ll probably be there a couple hours late. My dad’s flying into town for the weekend so I plan on visiting first. I’m definitely coming though.”

I hummed, “Yeah, don’t worry too much about it. We all know it’ll go till sunrise anyway.”

She let out a loud laugh, likely remembering the last party of theirs we went to where she ended up more drunk than I’d ever seen her. She claims she remembers flashes of the night; playing strip beer pong and being dared to steal one of the neighbor’s bushes—which, after much convincing from those who were sober, she decided against it—but didn’t recall half of the hilarious memories of her the rest of us did. Personally, my favorite was watching her hold a tomato soup can and cry over the fact that it could never have children.

Tiff let out a yawn as she stretched her arms above her head, turning in my direction. Her words were muffled by her yawn as she spoke, “Imma go to bed now. You good before I go?”

I smiled at her, “Yeah I’m good. I won’t stay up too much longer, just need to go through my nightly routine of looking at the stars, ya know, the usual.”

She nodded, wrapping the blanket around her and heading to her bedroom, “Sleep well, babe. I’ll see ya tomorrow.”

“Back at ya.”

It was a habit of mine, gazing at the night sky before sleeping. It gave me comfort knowing that out there, somewhere, there was something else out there with me. Almost like I wasn’t going through everything alone.

I set my purse down when I reached our kitchen, reaching for a tea pot and tea bags, brainlessly brewing my favorite tea as I thought of what Yunho might be doing right now. It was probably most likely that he was practicing for their tours, but I could only hope he was getting a little bit of rest.

I stepped out onto our porch to look at the stars with a cup of tea in my hands, the night sky twinkling with all the stars it could offer. A slight breeze rustled my hair and I closed my eyes, thankful for the pleasant weather. I heard a sudden snap of a branch and my eyes quickly opened as I searched out property for any sign of an aggressive animal. My eyes finally landed on a human-like figure. Feeling adrenaline run though me, I decided to confront whoever or whatever it was.

“Who are you? What are you doing here?” I spoke, my voice loud but not quite a yell.

The figure took off it’s hood to show their face, and I saw a familiar pair of ice blue eyes, though I hadn’t seen them in years, “I’m here to see you, of course.”

My brain quickly connected her to the woman I hoped I’d never see again.

Lucy.

“Well I don’t want to see you. Leave.”

She pressed a hand to her chest, feigning offense, “But I came all this way! Just to...say hello.”

I took a step towards her, hoping that if I appeared confrontational she would leave me alone. “I don’t know who you are, now please leave. I’m not going to say it again.”

“Oh, you poor girl. You really think you have the upper hand?” She pulled out a knife, and walked towards me at impressive speed, pointing the weapon at my throat. “I know you’ve been seeing Yunho. I. Don’t. Like. That.” She emphasized every word of the last sentence, anger woven within her voice.

I wanted to fight back. Everything in me was screaming to fight back, but I knew I had no chance. I had no idea what she was capable of, and I didn’t dare to find out.

“I dated him first and he’s still mine. You’re going to break up with him, you hear me?” She screamed in my ear, the sound shaking me to my core, “I never want to see you near him again.” She grabbed my jaw harshly, forcing my eyes to lock with hers. “I bet he doesn’t even love you.”

My eyes watered. I knew she was wrong, but with the adrenaline coursing through my veins and the harshness of her words I began to doubt myself.

Her grip tightened and I let out a yelp, “He loves me and I love him. He’s always loved me, not you. Why would he ever love a thing like you?”

She then threw me to the ground, towering over me, “Break up with him. Make him hate you. If you don’t,” She squatted down next to me, once more pointing the knife at my throat, “I’ll kill him myself and make you watch. Then,” She cocked her head, a crazed smile plastered on her face, “I’ll kill you. If I can’t have him, no one can.” She stood, smirking at me, “And you know I will.”

She kicked me in the stomach, watching as I crawled into myself, groaning from the pain. I closed my eyes, hoping she wouldn’t hurt me any more than she already had.

“I’ll be watching you at the party tomorrow. Do it then. Break his heart. I’ll kill him then and there if you don’t.” She looked down at me and scoffed, “And I’ll be bringing friends to make sure the job gets done.”

I carefully opened my eyes to see her stepping over me, walking back into the darkness from which she came. I scrambled back into my house, hyperventilating from the interaction I just had.

I spent the night crying, not able to sleep even for a minute. I tried to think rationally, but there were just too many variables. How many ‘friends’ was she bringing? Would she really kill Yunho in front of everyone? Where would she be watching me from? Is she watching me now?

I could text or call Yunho to let him know, but where would we go from there? He’d want to meet me and she’d kill him instantly. Right?

“Maybe I could pull him aside at the party and warn him?” I murmured to myself, “No, she could probably see that. Maybe there’s people actually at the party who are looking out for us, too.” I covered my face with my hands and fell back into my pillows, weeping as I knew I had to break up with the love of my life.

Choosing to wear a yellow dress honestly couldn’t have been more ironic. Yellow was supposed to be a happy color. A color of hope and yearning, innocence and warm days full of laughter. It was the complete antithesis of how I felt and what I knew I had to do. Even worse, the weather was perfect. It was sunny, but not so much to make it unbearable outside. Everything about today made my insides twist.

I took a breath at the door of Yunho’s house, bracing myself for what I had to do. Knocking a few times I heard a commotion inside before the man I came to see opened the door. His smile had never been bigger.

“Baby!” He cheered, pulling me into a bear hug and ruffling my styled hair, “I’m so excited you’re here!”

He looks so ecstatic. And I have to break him.

The thought crushed me and brought tears to my eyes, but I couldn’t let him die. I knew she was serious, I didn’t doubt that for a moment. I grabbed Yunho’s arm, pulling him outside and away from everyone in the house.

I looked at the ground as I felt my lips begin to quiver, “I’m sorry. I just need to get this over with.”

Yunho bent down to meet my eyes, “Hey, hey. What’s going on sweetheart?” His voice was gentle, one of his hands coming to rub the tears from my face, “I’m here for you, whatever it is.”

I looked down, unable to look him in the eyes. I hated myself more than I’d ever hated anyone. “I don’t love you, Yunho.” My hands began to shake beyond my control, my own body knowing I was making a mistake.

“W-what?” Yunho’s voice cracked. A moment of silence passed before he let out a hollow laugh, “Baby, you don’t mean that-”

I looked up at him and immediately wished I hadn’t. Tears were welling in his eyes, his own hands beginning to shake.

“I said I don’t love you Yunho!” I said louder than I intended, “Not anymore. I don’t want to be with you. I’m sorry.”

He took a step back and I noticed his hands clenching, something he always did to keep himself from crying.

“If that’s what you want,” Tears fell from his eyes before he finished his sentence, “Then I’ll support your decision.” He looked to the side, not knowing what else to say.

I wanted nothing more than to throw myself in his arms and explain everything, tell him that I’ve never stopped loving him, not even for a second, but I couldn’t. Instead, I wiped away my tears with the back of my hand and looked at him one last time. He was so fucking handsome, so goddamn kind, and here I was doing this to him. Maybe he did deserve someone better.

“Good luck with your tour, Yunho. I know you’ll be fantastic.”

I turned and walked away from him quickly, leaving the house and ignoring the stare I could feel on me. I ran across the yard to my car, starting the engine and leaning my head against the steering wheel. I felt myself lose all oxygen in my body, the only option left to take large gasps of air. My vision was so clouded by tears I couldn’t even see anymore. I’d just lost myself along with my other half. I’d never felt as empty as I did in that moment.

Just then I heard a knocking on my window. I half-hardheartedly lifted my head and felt my heart lurch. Yunho was standing outside my car, eyes red and puffy, looking at me like I was the last person he’d ever see. I opened my car without thinking, my breathing still as uneven as before.

Yunho spoke, his voice coarse and distant, “I’m not asking you to change your mind, but I need you to know that I have always loved you and I always will. That will never change.”

I wiped the snot from my nose but didn’t bother to try and fix the mascara I knew was streaming down my face. I knew I had to look horrible, but he still held so much love for me that it was easy to see in his eyes. I fought myself to not reply, knowing that if I’d open my mouth all I’d say was ‘I love you’ over and over again.

“Is it too out of line to ask for a last hug?” He smiled sadly as more tears poured from his eyes.

I shook my head, running into his arms and embracing him. I felt like I made a mistake the moment I did because I could smell him. He was wearing the cologne I bought him for his birthday. His warm, sturdy chest...everything about him felt like home.

“Goodbye, Yunho.”

I arrived at home alone, tears still stinging my eyes. Tiff was nowhere to be found and I couldn’t decide if I was thankful or sad for the fact that she wasn’t there. I barely made it out to our porch before collapsing once again, finding it harder and harder to breathe. I didn’t know how long I was sitting there, it could’ve been one hour or three, but given the setting sun it looked like it was the latter. Once more I heard a noise outside our home, and once more the female figure appeared before me.

“You did good,” Lucy said, twirling her knife in her hands, “Dare I say I’m proud of you.”

“I don’t ever want to see you here again.” I cried, “I did what you want now get the fuck away from me.”

“My, my. You have quite the mouth on you, don’t you?” She tsked, “But you did as I asked, so I might as well comply. Don’t; however, think that you can go crawling back to Yunho and tell him about this. I’ll keep watching you and if you decide to do just that...I’ll follow through with my promise.”

I kept my eyes on the ground, convinced that if I looked up at her I’d attempt to rip the hair out of her head. No anger I had ever felt before could surmount to the rage I was feeling.

“Nonetheless, it was a pleasure doing business with you, miss.”

As soon as she came, she was gone. When I finally let myself look up, I could no longer see her, only darkness. Once again, I was alone.

Six months had passed since I broke up with Yunho and today officially made the third new date I’d went on. All of them were absolutely horrible. It wasn’t even that the guys were mean or rude or weren’t attractive, they just weren’t him.

Why am I even trying to move on?

I looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes looked heavy, the bags under my eyes ever prominent. I couldn’t fool myself. I’d never be able to be with another man again. I forced myself to hold back tears and reached back to untie my hair, preparing to take a bath in hopes that it would take my mind off of things.

I began to run the warm water as I reached for several candles, lighting them and placing them around the room, trying to forget the entire day altogether. As I waited for the tub to fill I grabbed my phone, opening Instagram for no other reason than to have something to do. Although Yunho and I broke up, I still followed their band account, as well as their individual accounts. Seonghwa, San, and Wooyoung were still my friends, after all. Yunho was the only exception. Both of us unfollowed each other early on just because it was too painful. I didn’t hold it against him and hoped he didn’t hold it against me either.

Regardless, my eyes found the most recent post on Sidekick Heart’s account. All four members were shirtless, their hair dripping wet with goofy smiles plastered on their faces. They were standing by a pool, the same one Yunho and I would often break into. I noticed Yunho first, how could I not? His smile wasn’t as wide as the other’s, his eyes a bit colder, but he looked happy all the same. He looked good. Really, really good. He was always fit while we were dating, but he gained more muscle since I last saw him and it didn’t go unnoticed by their fans, either. I clicked the comment section against my better judgement, knowing what I was going to see before I even did so.

“Yunho looks like a fucking goddd”

“So Yunho’s still single right??”

“Yunhooo hmu I beg you”

“Jesus Christ Yunho break me please”

A surge of jealousy rushed through me. I hated when girls said those things when we were together, but now that we were apart it made it even worse. I had no right to be jealous, and that was the worst part.

The water reached my leg that was resting on the side of the tub and I scrambled to turn off the faucet. Doing my best to push the images from my mind I placed my phone aside and stripped from my clothes, settling in the water. I sighed as some water fell out of the side of the tub. It wasn’t a terrible thing to happen, but it seemed to just be another thing to go wrong.

My eyes wandered back to my phone, Instagram still open and the picture I was looking at earlier still on display. He was so fucking hot and seeing that he was standing next to that pool—our pool—made my brain short circuit. I couldn’t stop my thoughts from taking me back to the last night we broke in, the way we teased each other and how it inevitably led to sex. It seemed I had no control over my body as my dominant hand slipped between my legs.

But as much as I wanted it to be, it wasn’t the same. My fingers weren’t as long or slender as his and just nothing about our touches were the same, but the image of him just made my hormones rage. Every ounce of me craved him.

My fingers swirled around my clit, a bundle of pleasure shooting through me at the action. I closed my eyes, letting my body take over and repeat the motions and much as I fought not to, my brain kept replaying scenes of two of us again, and again, and again.

“Such a good girl, aren’t you?” Yunho spoke as I sunk down on his dick, barely finding the energy to lift myself up again even though the noises he made were like shots of espresso.

“Aww, is my baby getting tired?” He cooed, jerking his hips into mine.

“It’s not fair!” I whined, “I’m not good at this and you know it.”

“But we wouldn’t be a good couple if we didn’t encourage each other to work hard, right? Up you go, flower.”

I whimpered and pouted, but still obeyed him. Taking pity on me, Yunho grabbed my waist and lifted me, relaxing his grip as I moved downward. I made a noise that wasn’t understood by Yunho, but it didn’t go unnoticed.

“What was that?”

“Please. More. I need you so bad.” I begged.

Yunho laughed, “I really do have you wrapped around my finger, don’t I?”

I nodded before remembering that he’d probably prefer a verbal answer, “Yes. I’m w-wrapped around your finger.”

He let out a noise of satisfaction before flipping us over into a position so that he would have full control. I grabbed the bedsheets roughly, so much in my own world that I didn’t hear Yunho’s words.

“What was that?” I let out with a series of mewls.

“You’ve got me wrapped around your finger, too, you know? I don’t go an hour without thinking about you anymore. I can’t even have a single conversation without bringing you up. Anytime someone says your name my heart beats out of my damn chest. You’re the only woman for me.”

My legs shook as my high approached, barely able to breathe at it’s intensity. It took me a minute before I could even remember where I was. As I came to my senses, I felt tears biting at my eyes and this time I didn’t bother to hold them back. I watched as they streamed down my face and joined the now-cold water surrounding me. I brought my hands up to cover my eyes, glad Tiff wasn’t home to hear my wailing. She’d been good about staying with me since the breakup, but tonight she just wasn’t here. The hole in my heart felt even deeper now. I wondered if he found someone, if he was happy now. Hell, maybe it was his ex. The thought tore my heart out and ripped it in two. I wanted to be happy for him if it was true, but I just couldn’t be. I was still too selfish. I still wanted him to love only me.

New friends, new beginnings or whatever.

That’s apparently what I thought when I began attending more clubs at college after the breakup, meeting new people and eventually finding a really solid friend group. All who happened to really like punk-rock music.

“You should really go with us,” Shang directed his words at me, “There’s a new band popping up that’s playing this weekend. It’s three hours away but they have great music.”

I sighed, not fully convinced although it did sound fun. The last concert I’d been to was one of Yunho’s and though I hadn’t even seen him in what felt like forever, I still couldn’t help myself from thinking of him anytime someone talked about concerts. Sensing my apprehension, the woman beside me spoke up.

“Road trip! Road trip! Road trip!” Tyra chanted in my ear, her black curls bouncing with her as she clapped her hands between the words. “Come on, it would be so much fun and you know it.”

I bit my lip, deep in thought. I knew I would have fun but I just didn’t know if that would outweigh the pain I would feel.

“What’s the band name?” I asked, looking at Shang.

“Honestly?” He scratched the back of his head, “I was a little drunk when I told one of my friends I’d be there so I don’t even remember what they’re called.”

“How do you know they have great music, then?” I laughed, Tyra agreeing with me, apparently not knowing who was playing when she agreed either.

“I mean, my brother listens to their music and he’s got good music taste so they’ve gotta be good.”

I closed my eyes as I felt an oncoming headache, knowing they wouldn’t accept no as an answer. “Fuck it.” I stated, “I’ll go.”

The two cheered, Shang promising that I’d enjoy myself. I doubted it, truthfully, but really it was decided that I’d go the moment the pair brought the idea up to me.

Our trio waded through the giant crowd as the doors opened to let us into the venue. It was big, one of the larger concerts I’ve been to. Whoever we were seeing was successful, for sure. The volume at which everyone was speaking was essentially a yell, so I had to do just that to get my messages through.

“I still can’t believe we have no fucking idea who’s playing!” I yelled at Shang.

He laughed, “I got seats towards the front row, though! I didn’t even have to pay for them!”

“That’s not gonna matter if we don’t know any of the lyrics, you dipshit!” Tyra barked.

“Okay okay I should’ve asked, I get that now.”

As we found our way towards the seats, there was a big projector with the words ‘Sidekick Heart’ displayed across it. My heart dropped and I suddenly felt it become hard to breathe.

“You got us tickets to a Sidekick Heart concert?” Tyra beamed, “I love their music and I’m practically in love with San! His vocals are insane! Holy shit, Shang!”

“Ohhhh yeah I remember now.” He chuckled.

I seemed to fade into the background as the two of them discussed their love for the band and the members. All I could think about was seeing Yunho again.

Would he see me? How would he react if he does?...Does he hate me?

I only came back to reality when the audience began to cheer and I saw all the members step onto stage. Seonghwa cradled his electric guitar, in one arm, waving at the audience with the other. Wooyoung plopped down behind the drum set, smiling at the audience while twirling a drumstick. With his bass guitar, San, ever the king of expressions, gave his best smoulder to the audience and it seemed like the audience collectively screamed over him. Then came Yunho out to center stage, his electric guitar in his hands and a smirk on his face as if he knew everyone in the damn building wanted to fuck him. And he’d be right. The spotlights on each of them made them look like actual gods. If I didn’t know them personally I would have thought they were.

Yunho leaned into the mic, his gruff voice taking me by surprise, “Hello everyone! Great to see you all! If you haven’t been to one of our concerts before this is how it’s gonna work: You’re gonna dance, we’re gonna sing, we’re all gonna have a fucking great time tonight!”

The crowd erupted as the first song began to play. It was one of their more popular songs and for good reason. All over it was a really well put together song and I couldn’t help as I began to mouth along to the words. Song after song played, some I knew some I didn’t, and the entire time I couldn’t look away from the man singing. He radiated confidence and looked relaxed as if he’d been performing for decades. I knew he wasn’t as cool as he seemed, I’d given him so many pep talks before performances I couldn’t count them, but as an outsider you’d never know.

I wonder who talked him up this time?

“Alright everyone. This is the last song of the night and-”

The audience booed, everyone upset at the night coming to a close.

Yunho laughed. The sound was rich and beautiful. He was truly enjoying himself. This is what he was meant to do, with or without me. I closed my eyes, willing myself not to cry.

Yunho’s voice filled my ears. “I know, I know. I’d love to stay a bit longer, too. Here’s the thing though...” He paused and I opened my eyes only to see him looking back at me. His eyes automatically softened as they always did when he saw me, but as if he remembered how we ended his gaze hardened slightly, like he was trying to distance himself. It felt like we’d been looking at each other for hours before he opened his mouth to speak again, but I knew very well that my perception of time had been off for a while.

“Even if we only have this little time left, I’ve truly enjoyed the time we’ve spent together. The fact that it’s coming to an end soon is what makes it so special, I think.” Yunho broke eye contact with me, smiling slightly and glancing back out at the sea of people. “Seeing your smiling faces, your energetic cheers—all of it—is a reminder to me that we’re so lucky to be doing this as a job. Really...I love you all.”

The audience let out a chorus of ‘awws’ which was followed by several rather aggressive ‘I love you too’s.

The lead singer once more smiled, “Now, without further adieu, this is one of our newest songs and it’s called Brown Eyes, here it is.”

The music began to play, all instruments coming together to make a somber tune. Somehow they were always able to write music that perfectly encapsulated emotions or ideas. This one? Loss.

“Since you left you’re still so infused

In how I think and what I do

Can’t seem to get you to leave me alone

Your ghost stayed here and she watches my tears

That run down our picture frames”

Then he found me again in the crowd, no doubt able to see the tears staining my makeup, no doubt able to see how broken I was. And still, he sang.

“I’ve tried hard to fight it

Yet I keep givin’ in

There’s been no one but you

I’m trapped, confined

And your platinum smile still knocks me out

Every single time”

He kept eye contact with me, not once breaking his gaze. It was almost as if he wanted me to break first, as if he wanted me to look away before him. As if he was daring me to leave him again.

San stepped closer to his mic and took his eyes away from his bass guitar, Yunho’s voice being replaced by the purple-haired man. As his voice rang out I only could’ve hoped the next lyrics were about one of San ex’s, not me. Even if they weren’t, Yunho still looked at me.

“It’s not aimed at me

Maybe it never was

But oh darling, you could’ve fooled me”

My eyes flickered down, unable to look at Yunho any longer. His gaze only broke my heart further and in turn I felt my eyes water. After a moment or two, I worked up the courage to look back at him. He was still looking at me like he never moved his eyes. I couldn’t seem to register the lyrics until Yunho began to sing again, his voice drawing me in as it always did.

“You've disappeared without a trace

Left an unsuspecting guise

Love, I need you to know

I’ve been losing far more than sleep

Over those deep chocolate eyes.”

As the song and the show ended and everyone in the crowd cheered, I felt a rush of emotions run through me. Thrilled that they’d become so successful, proud of them for putting on such an amazing show, and hurt because I could still see a sliver of sadness in Yunho’s eyes.

I hurt him.

Yunho then reluctantly said his goodbyes to the audience along with the rest of the members. His jaw tightened as he walked over to Wooyoung, whispering something in his ear before walking off stage. Feeling like I was set in a trance, I grabbed my Tyra’s arm and mumbled something about going to the bathroom before following him. I completely ignored her questions and concerns about where I was going, dead set on talking to him again even though I didn’t have a damn idea what I was going to say.

Somehow, through the giant maze of people, I was able to spot Yunho leaving through the backstage. Instinctively I ran towards him, still having no plan in mind. I only stopped when a purple-headed man appeared before me.

“Y/n!” He smiled, bringing me into a hug, “I missed you so much!” He pulled back from me, “We all did.”

Seonghwa and Wooyoung came from behind me, both wearing sad, kind smiles. They looked healthy and happy, which was all I could’ve asked for them.

“How’ve you been, girl?” Seonghwa cocked his head, genuinely curious.

I hesitated, not sure if I should tell them the truth. But at the end of the day, they were still my friends. “Not...great. If I’m being honest. I was kinda hoping I could talk to Yunho...if I could.”

They all shared a look I couldn’t understand.

Wooyoung spoke up, “We’re having a party at a friend’s house after this, you should come.”

I was surprised, still not fully understanding the situation.

San frowned, “I think it would be good for you two to talk. He didn’t tell us too much about what happened, but I’m sure you had a good reason. You were always so good to all of us.”

“I can text you the address if you’d like,” Wooyoung added, “You still have the same number?”

I nodded.

“Okay, good. We need to get back but we’ll see you there. Take care, okay?”

“I will. Thanks guys.”

San pulled me in for another hug, “Of course.”

They waved as we parted ways and for the first time that night, I felt hopeful. I spotted Shang and Tyra and ran up to them, no doubt a smile on my face as I asked, “Soo...you guys up for a party?”

I ditched my friends the moment we arrived, barely even sparing a word with Seonghwa, San, and Wooyoung once they nudged me in the direction of Yunho. I didn’t try to think too much about it, knowing I’d explain it all to them later.

He was standing in an empty bedroom, looking at the floor and sipping out of a red cup which likely contained liquor. When his eyes met mine a rush of memories flooded back to me. The first time we kissed, the first time he confessed he loved me, the first time he saw me cry.

The first time I broke his heart.

His eyes raised to mine, his face stoic, “Enjoy the show?”

My mouth opened and closed, not having any clue what to say to him, “Yunho I-”

“I know why you did it.” He said suddenly, “A week after you left me Lucy showed up to one of our shows and tried to convince me it was all a coincidence. Said that I could finally be with her. When I didn’t buy it she finally gave in and told me she convinced you we were better apart. So naturally I called the cops and they arrested her for breaking the restraining order, thank god.” He shook his head, looking disgusted, “You know I never wanted us to be apart. My question to you,” he took a step further towards me, “is why did you do it? Why did you end us?”

When I couldn’t seem to respond he talked once more, “You could’ve told me what she was trying to do. We could’ve worked it out together.” He looked more disappointed and heartbroken rather than angry.

He doesn’t deserve this. He doesn’t deserve any of this.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Yunho.” I bit my tongue as I fought back tears, “I’m not asking for you to forgive me. I-I’m just-” I sobbed, “Lucy told me she would kill you if I kept dating you.”

Yunho’s mouth shut and eyes widened, clearly missing that bit of information. I took it as my cue to continue “I don’t know why she did it, but it’s probably because we were happy.”

More tears fell down my face and it became harder for me to talk, but I owed him the truth. I had to tell him the truth. I looked up at him but because of my tears my vision was blurred. Yunho’s hands were tightening into fists as he looked away from me.

“I couldn’t tell you because I had to protect you so I had to make you hate me and I’m just so sorry.” I fell to the ground, my body feeling as heavy as my heart.

I felt a warm hand on my shoulder and I brought my eyes to meet his own, “I’m sorry.” A tear streamed down his cheek, heavy remorse in his eyes, “God she’s fucking awful.”

A laugh got caught in my throat, “Yeah she is.”

He set his cup down somewhere along the way a his hands cupped my face, finally whispering the words I’d only heard in dreams, “I still love you so fucking much. I never stopped loving you. I never even tried to stop because I know I couldn’t.”

I jumped into his arms and kissed him hard, unintentionally knocking him to the floor. He met my lips with just as much fire, groaning when I unconsciously bucked my hips into his, all my sexual frustration still pent up.

“I missed you so fucking much.” Yunho growled, obviously feeling needy too but deciding against it as he wrapped his arms around my waist, speaking in between kisses, “I missed your cute laugh. I missed your lips. I missed your fucking awful jokes. I missed the way you’d look at me whenever you told me you loved me. I missed your gorgeous body and your smile. I missed your moans and the way you arched your back when we’d have sex. I missed how alive you made me feel.” He pulled back to look at me, “My life had no purpose without you.”

I took a breath, tears once more falling, “Mine didn’t either.” It wasn’t anything profound or emotional, but it was the truth. It didn’t.

Gently picking me up, he placed me on the bed. His eyes were raw, as emotional as they could ever be. Taking my hands in his, he looked at me as if I would disappear at any minute.

“Stay with me. Come with us on the rest of the tour. If you can’t take a vacation we’ll hire you as an assistant. If you can’t do that we’ll make some other kind of accommodation. Just stay, please. Please be mine again.”

I looked at the man in front of me. The tough-looking, six-foot tall, tattooed, strong man that could probably scare the shit out of anyone. Yet here he was, bearing his heart to me and being as vulnerable as a person could be.

I smiled, feeling my heart swell. “I’ve only ever been yours.”

The morning was bright, lighting directly hitting my eyes. I cursed myself for not closing the blinds the night before and blinked off my sleep when I heard a familiar pleasant sound.

Jumping down from the bed I put on the new fluffy bathrobe my lover bought me. I followed Yunho’s voice out to my porch, realizing I was listening to a new song of his. The man was strumming a guitar, a beautiful melody falling from his lips. When he noticed me, he smiled and continued to sing.

“I’m in a vivid yellow mood

You’re my muse, my home and room

And now that I have you again

What could I ever fear?

Oh do me a favor, dear

And inscribe your name on my sleeve

Let me keep it there forever

Because you’re better than any daydream.”

#ateez #kpop #imagines #ateez au #ateez fluff #ateez imagines #ateez smut #atzinc #fluff #ateez yunho #rockstar au #yunho au

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jgthirlwell · 2 years

Text

2021 Year In Review

This year once again I invited some friends and colleagues to reflect on 2021

JG Thirlwell

Composer  Foetus Xordox Manorexia Steroid Maximus Venture Bros Archer

Here are a lot of albums I enjoyed in 2021, in no particular order.

Low Hey What (Sub Pop) Amon Tobin How Do You Live (NoMark) Caterina Barbieri Fantas Variations (Edition Mego) Michael Gordon and Cello Octet Amsterdam 8 (Canteloupe) Gazelle Twin and NYX Deep England (NYX Collective Records) / Gazelle Twin Welcome to the Blumhouse Nocturne OST (Lakeshore) Floating Points & Pharoah Sanders Promises (Luaka Bop) Damon Locks Black Monument Ensemble NOW (International Anthem) Murmuüre Murmuüre (Bandcamp) Le Silo 3.27830 (Disc Union) Black Midi Cavalcade (Rough Trade) Red Fang Arrows (Relapse) Gojira Fortitude (Roadrunner) Royal Blood Typhoons (Warners) Alarmist Sequesterer (Small Pond) Melvins Working With God (Ipecac) Danny Elfman Big Mess (ANTI) Gaspard Auge Escapades (Because Music) Noveller Aphantasia (Bandcamp) Cheap Trick Another World (BMG) clipping Visions Of Bodies Being Burned (SubPop) The Bug Fire (Ninja Tune) Pan Daijing Jade (Pan) Blanck Mass Calm With Horses OST (Invada)/ In Ferneaux (Sacred Bones) Converge and Chelsea Wolfe Bloodmoon I (Epitaph) Hiro Kone Silvercoat The Throng (Dais) Space Afrika Honest Labor (Dais) Rob Aiki Aubrey Lowe Candyman OST (Sacred Bones) Andrew WK God Is Partying (Napalm) Jonny Greenwood The Power Of The Dog OST (Invada) The Fraternal Order of the All The Fraternal Order of the All (YouTube) Giant Claw Mirror Guide (Orange Milk) Sourdure De Mort Viva (Les Disques du Festival Permanent) Manchester Orchestra The Million Masks of God (Lomo Vista) Teho Teardo Elipses dans l'Harmonie (Specula) Idles Crawler (Partisan) Suryummy Polynators (Constellation Tatsu) The Armed Ultrapop (Sargent House) VoidDweller Employee (Bandcamp) Daniel Davies Spies (Sacred Bones) Muqata’a Kamil Manqus (Hundebiss Records) Sparks Annette OST (Milan) Caleb Landry Jones Gadzooks Vol 1 (Sacred Bones) Lana Del Rey Blue Banisters (Polydor) Zombi Liquid Crystal EP (Relapse) Ursula Sereghy OK Box (Gin and Platonic) Helm Axis (Dais) Squid Bright Green Field (Warp) Kyoka Is (Is superpowered) (Raster) Bryce Dessner / Ensemble Resonanz Tenebre (Resonanz Raum) All Traps On Earth A Drop of Light (AMS Records) Kemper Norton Troillia (Bandcamp) Real Loud Real Loud (New Focus)

Film and TV

Year of the Dog Bacurau Zola The French Dispatch Pen 15

Live performances

Didn't see too many this year but standouts were Tredici Bacci (three times) Idles Human Impact Robert Aiki Aubrey Lowe King Crimson LustSickPuppy Lydia Lunch Tyshawn Sorey

Books

I read a ton of memoirs this year. Standouts were Mark Lanegan Sing Backwards and Weep Duncan Hannah Twentieth Century Boy Bruce Springsteen Born To Run Edward Norton Permanent Record John Lurie The History Of Bones David Crosby Long Time Gone Wayne Kramer The Hard Stuff

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Thurston Moore

Thirty killer recordings I had the pleasure to come across in 2021, all new performances from a galaxy of inspired lights. Keep on shinin’, friends! ---Thurston Moore / Sonic Life

1. Seafoam Walls - XVI (Daydream Library LP) 2. Xopher Davidson - Lux Perpetua (Daydream Library LP) 3. Wobbly - Popular Monitress (Hausu Mountain cassette) 4. Farida Amadou & Pavel Tchikov - Mal De Terre (Trouble In Mind cassette) 5. Luke Stewart - Works For Electric Bass Guitar (Triptickstapes cassette) 6. Ana da Silva & DJ Mooncup - Shouting Out Loud (Noods Radio cassette) 7. Joseph Nechvatal - Selected Sound Works (1981-2021) (Pentiments cassette) 8. Wharton Tiers - Wharton's Expanding Jazz Band (self released digital) 9. Moor Mother - Circuit City (Black Quantum Futurism LP w/ Playbill) 10. Michael R. Bernstein - Blind In Sight (self released cassette) 11. Marshall Trammell & Aaron Turner - Experimental Love I & II (Sige cassette) 12. Jaimie Branch - Fly Or Die Live (International Anthem 2XLP) 13. Twig Harper - Classical Electronics (Radical Documents cassette) 14. Ava Mendoza - New Spells (Relative Pitch cassette) 15. Michael Morley - Electric Guitar (Radical Documents cassette) 16. Gerald Cleaver - Griots - (Positive Elevation LP) 17. Title TK - Metallic TK (self released cassette) 18. Sophie Cooper - Goodbye Gemini (Borley Rectory cassette) 19. Co-ed - s/t (Sludgepeople cassette) 20. Gergesenes - Exorcism of the Gerasene Demoniac (Banner Of Blood cassette) 21. Orphan Fairytale - Titania Moon (Ultra Eczema LP) 22. Joe Morris & Damon Smith - Gusts Against Particles (Open Systems LP) 23. The Bohman Brothers - In Their 70s (Fort Evil Fruit cassette) 24. Natalie Beridze - Mapping Debris (Monika Enterprise cassette) 25. Tasos Stamou & Alan Wilkinson - Whenever (Ikuisuus cassette) 26. Irons - Unto The Kingdom (self released digital) 27. Alan Braufman & Cooper-Moore - Live at WKCR May 22, 1972 (Valley Of Search 12”) 28. Nihilist Spasm Band - Nothing Is Hard To Do (But We Try) (We Are Busy Bodies 7”) 29. Gaahls WYRD - The Humming Mountain (Season Of Mist 10”) 30. White People Killed Them - (Sige LP)

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Tom Recchion

LAFMS

Best of 2021

Music Elephant9 - Arrival Of the New Elders and their whole catalog (Rune Gramophone) Gentle Fire — Explorations (1970 - 1973) (Paradigm Discs PD 35) Allen Ravenstine - Shore Leave & Electron Music (Wave Shaper Media WSM 05.6) Allen Ravenstine - Nautilus & Rue Du Poisson Noir (Wave Shaper Media WSM 07.8) Joni Mitchell - Archive Vol 1 & 2 -plus the whole initiative (I’m waiting on the vinyl for #2) (Rhino) Needlepoint - Walking Up That Valley and their whole catalog David Toop and Ryuichi Sakamoto LIVE (ThirtyThree ThirtyThree Records TTTT0070) David Toop, Akio Suzuki & Lawrence English - “Breathing Spirit Forms” (Room 140 RM4171) Doris Wishman - “The Best Of…” (Modern Harmonic MH-8236) Something Weird Spook Show Spectaular A-Go-Go (Modern Harmonic MH-8205) Psychedelic Sex Kicks -soundtrack (Modern Harmonic MH-8223) CAN - the 2 LIVE albums (MUTE/SPOON) Evind Aarset/Jan Bang - Dream Logic - “Surrender” in particular 2012 (ECM) Thomas Stronon - Mercurial Balm (ECM) Smegma - Name Of the Frame (Molokoplus Records Plus 135) Jefferson Airplane - Acid, Incense and Balloons (RCA 194398442617-RSD) Jimi Hendrix Experience - :Paris 67 (Dagger Records 19439893031) LAFMS - Los Angeles Free Music Society VOD box (Vinyl On Demand VOD171)

Music Rediscoveries/Reappraisals/New Appreciations John Lennon Plastic Ono Band The entire Jefferson Airplane catalog Radu Malfatti/Stephan Wittwer - Und? (FMP 0470)

Viewings Succession (HBO) Get Back (Disney+) P.S. Burn This Letter Please (Kanopy) Plan 9 From Outer Space (b/w & colorized) Anytime day or night The Mandalorian (Disney+) The White Lotus (HBO) Blown-Away (Netflix) The Great British Pottery Throw-down (HBO Max) What We Do In The Shadows (EFX) Velvet Underground the Todd Haynes doc (AppleTV) Jorma Kaukonen Quarantine Concerts from Fur Peace Ranch with on occasion Hot Tuna. Streaming performances every Saturday night. For Free. Stunning and so generous. (YouTube)

Books Joe Potts - “Daily Planet” Hesse Press Butte Free Music Society “Sputterring and Distorted/A Reluctant History Of the BUFMS/Butte County Free Music Society/ Encyclopedia Spastica by Fen Addison with S. Glass That's How Strong My Love Is by David Loehr Organic Music Societies by Lawrence Kumpf Along Comes The Association by Russ Giguere Canyon Of Dreams by Harvey Kubernik The World’s Worst: A Guide To the Portsmouth Sinfonia by Christopher M. Reeves, Aaron Walker, et al. The Lyrics of Syd Barrett by Rob Chapman A New Day Yesterday by Mike Barnes Side By Side by Robert Wyatt & Alfie Benge When Can I Fly/The Sleepers, Tuxedo Moon & Beyond by Michael Belfer Creatures of the Night That We Loved So Well/ TV Horror Hosts of Southern California by James M Fetters The Art of John Schroeder - Private Press Bruce Houston - An Exceptional Artist with an Odd Sense Of Humor - Private Press Bruce Houston - Hospital Drawings - Private Press

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Tim Parkinson

Composer

BOOKS Helen Marten - The Boiled In Between Polly Barton - Fifty Sounds The poetry of Jeff Hilson 3 volumes of Picasso biography by John Richardson James Castle: Memory Palace by John Beardsley

MUSIC Minds in Flux by George Lewis Xanadu by Mildred Couper String Quartet No.5 by Matteo Fargion Natural World by Laurence Crane The amazing live performance by Siwan Rhys and Mark Knoop of Çoğluotobüsişletmesi by Clarence Barlow Gated - Alex Ward (Discus) Electric music - John White (ANTS) Pain Olympics - Crack Cloud (Meat Machine) gwneud a gwneud eto/do and do again - Angharad Davies (all that dust) The Boring Music Show (keithfem.com)

TV/FILM P’tit Quinquin In Between Portrait of a Lady on Fire Vivarium Parasite Roma Bacarau Capernaum

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Felix Kubin

Composer

Some wonderful (re-)encounters and sad farewells.

Francoise Cactus (1964 - 2021) The queen of the Berlin underground. A real anarchist and a very dear friend who died much too young.

Peter Rehberg (1968 - 2021) A great personality with a true passion for independent, experimental music and a cutting sense of humour. His brilliant mind will be missed.

Alvin Lucier (1931 - 2021) One of the most important encounters of my life. I interviewed him in 2004 in New York for my radio play „Paralektronoia“. His idea to focus on the room reflections instead of the original sound source changed my view on music profoundly.

Bernd Schurer Suisse Klangkünstler, psycho-acoustician and film composer who I met 20 years ago. One of the last romanticists who has always lived his life to the extreme.

Victoria Keddie A brilliant video artist, musician, telescopist and curator with a glint of flamboyance in her eye.

Matt Wand Genius quick-change artist, transformer and plunderphonic confusionist. A collaborator of things unreal.

Lucrecia Dalt A sculptor of romantic electronic songs on the edge of the unorganic. Our messenger of alien night life. Outlandish, poetic and courageous.

Doug Shipton Doug, half of Finders Keepers Records and half a cypress tree. His friendship is a constant breeze of fresh air in my mental locker.

Booty Carrell One of my oldest friends. A fantastic (radio) DJ and archaeologist of the obscure paths of world music. Also a great supporter of young musicians. I need to visit him soon.

Knut Aufermann & Sarah Washington The most inventive and (in the best possible sense) megalomaniac radio artists and curators I know. Close friends and wine enthusiasts, too.

Lucile Desamory A supernatural film maker, performer, martial arts fighter and telepathic friend.

Marie Losier My dear Marie! A brilliant film artist who breaks all the rules with a thunderous laughter.

Sven-Åke Johansson A genius performing artist who - at the age of 78 - constantly amazes with inventive, bizarre and cheeky ways of playing his "exploded drum set".

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Teho Teardo

Composer

I dreamt the pandemic would have stopped us all being able to learn. Like a fracture, a refusal to absorb anything further. We didn’t understand it was happening. Unconsciously I guess I’ve been looking for answers in books, films, music. More than ever. Here’s something I think I’ve found:

3 books Claire Keegan - Small things like these Max Porter - The death of Francis Bacon Ernesto De Martino - La fine del mondo

3 music books John Lurie - The History of Bones Gilbert Rouget - La musique et la transe. Esquisse d’une théorie générale des relations de la musique et de la possession Eliane Radigue - Intermediary spaces

3 books I gave as presents Carlo Ginzburg - I Benandanti Chandra Candiani - Questo immenso non sapere Graham Duff - Foreground Music

3 books given to me Claire Keegan - Foster Kae Tempest - On connection Anna Lowenhaupt Tsing - The mushroom at the end of the world

3 albums Lump - Animal Masma Dream World - Play at Night Richard Skelton - Four Workings

3 albums I gave as presents Matt Sweeney & Bonnie Prince Billy - Superwolves Giancarlo Toniutti - Batlahatli David Shea - The Art of Memory

3 albums given to me Luigi Maramotti - Knot Music Xordox - Omniverse Massimo Toniutti - Il museo selvatico (reprint)

3 songs I wish I had written Pino Daniele - Appocundria (Because of my reoccurring dream in which I call a friend in Napoli pretending to speak neapolitan) Robbie Basho - Blue Crystal Fire The Ghost of Sauris (I suppose I wrote it, but I dreamt it was written by someone else, since I couldn’t fine anyone who has written it I guess it came to me as a dream, but I keep thinking it belongs to someone else)

3 songs discovered by chance using Shazam Charlie Megira - The Coochimama Swingers (bookstore in Brooklyn) Lee Scratch Perry - Having a Party (record store in Roma) Blake Mills - Vanishing Twin (taylor in Roma)

3 films L’isola di Arturo (Damiano Damiani) The Power of the Dog (Jane Campion) Todo Modo (Elio Petri)

3 albums I’ve just picked up from a shelf using a random numeric generator Vivenza - Réalités Servomécaniques P16D4 & Swimming Behaviour of the Human Infant - Nicht Niemand Nirgends Nie! Steroid Maximus - Quilombo

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MV Carbon

Composer / Perfromer

2020-2021 Abounding Sound

impaired data declares achievement sensitive souls drown in bereavement maskless spew infiltrates dew hope maneuvers the residue spike proteins, vaccines gouge our arm hinting we are far from harm delusions dissolve contemplation assumptions contaminate the population social media distorts our sense with vapid poses of self pretense grotesque beauty smears the screens comparing bodies, achievements, dreams deep fakes intimidate misinformation procures high rates speculations bubble on exposed lips supply chains coagulate with skewed ships consumerism blasts junk into space the wheezing earth melts in place landscapes rise like a tainted lung repulsions leech onto songs unsung games of stillness heal stress friendships seek more realness constrained voices contend to shout compassion eradicates fear and doubt rhyme rhythm music meaning dancing kissing crying gleaming abounding sound inspired together shifts life altogether

-MV Carbon

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Steve Moore

composer, Zombi

2021

I don’t know too many people who can honestly say they had a great year. I certainly can’t, but here are some things that helped get me through this mess.

Psycho Goreman It’s funny, violent, gory and even heartwarming at times. Great practical effects and creature design, and the cast was incredible - especially Mimi. Fantastic film, highly recommended.

Marvel’s What If… Full disclosure, most of what I watched this year was with my kids, so that skews things a bit. But having been a fan of the “What If…” comics series as a teen in the late 80’s/early 90’s, I truly appreciated the work they put in on this one. Some episodes are better than others, but the season finale pulls it all together in an incredibly satisfying way. And fun for the whole family!

Keith Mansfield - KPM ‘Vivid Underscores’ This album was originally released in ’77, but it just received a well-deserved reissue from Be With records. Library music is absolutely my jam, and this has been on my want list for years. Evocative underscores that will make your life feel way more exciting. I like to listen to it while cleaning, or driving.

Night Lunch - “House Full of Shit” I don’t know anything about this band and have not heard any of their albums, but a friend hipped me to this tune and it’s incredible. Definitely watch the video.

Pino Palladino + Blake Mills - “Ekuté” My favorite 5 and a half minutes of music released this year. I’ve been a fan of Pino since Paul Young covered Hall & Oates’ “Every Time You Go Away” back in ’85, and I love watching him mature and grow as a musician. The entire album, ‘Notes With Attachments,’ is incredible, but this song really does it for me. I’m a big fan of 70’s West African music and these dudes really nail the groove, and add their own special touch.

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John King

Composer

My 2021 Highlights:

music - (in no particular order)

Future Faith - Lime Rickey International

Dirge - Joanna Mattrey

Work for Upright Bass and Amplifier vol.1 (vol.2 releases 2022)- Luke Stewart

That Was Then, This Is Now - Christina Wheeler

Afrofuturism - Michael Wimberly

Migration of Silence Into and Out of The Tone World – [Volumes 1–10] - William Parker

Wild At Heart - Pauline Kim Harris; Chaconne Project

Cairns - Gelsey Bell

Coin Coin Chapter Four: Memphis - Matana Roberts (released 2019, acquired 2021)

i was gifted by a friend the complete live Hendrix/Band of Gypsys at Fillmore East 1969-1970 - "Songs for Groovy Children” - spent a good part of Jan/Feb 2021 with my guitar tuned down a half-step, playing along with, re-learning the tunes, licks, solos from this amazing set of 8 LP’s

Before going into live in-person recording sessions in the fall 2021, I re-discovered and also played along with the tunes/energies of: Sonny Sharrock - Black Woman

Black Unity Trio - Al-Fatihah

Julius Hemphill - Dogon A.D.

movies - The Present - Farah Nablusi (BAFTA-winning and Oscar-nominated) a beautiful 20min long film, which captures the brutal, unjust inhumanity of Apartheid Israel through the reality of what a Palestinian family must go through following “a day in their life”. A MUST SEE FILM.

Summer of Soul (…Or, When the Revolution Could Not Be Televised)” - Ahmir “Qwestlove” Thompson more than a live concert film, this is about an era, the time of a “before/after” moment in culture and society. I hope Qwestlove makes a director’s cut that in 24 hours long, with ALL the live concert footage.

books - Against The Loveless World - Susan Abulhawa

You Exist Too Much - Zaina Arafat

The Little Edges (pub. 2015, acquired 2021) - Fred Moten

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Jason Berry

Nubdug Ensemble / Vacuum Tree Head

Favorite musical releases of the past year-or-so:

G Calvin Weston - Hydrogen 77 Frank Zappa - 200 Motels (50th Anniversary Box Set) Jair-Rohm Parker Wells / Robert Musso / G Calvin Weston - Wells Musso Weston Prince - Sign 'O' the Times (Box Set) The Galaxy Electric - Tomorrow Was Better Yesterday The Splatter Trio with Steve Benson - It's a Stool Pigeon Universe (book + CD package) Headboggle - Digital Digital Analog Pat Metheny - Side Eye NYC Pas Musique - Psychedelic Talismans Chris Potter Circuits Trio - Sunrise Reprise Dax Pierson - Nerve Bumps Stereolab - Electrically Possessed (Switched On Vol. 4) Pino Palladino and Blake Mills - Notes With Attachments Chansons du Crépuscule (Elliott Sharp + Hélene Breschand) - Aube Henry Threadgill Zooid - Poof Amanda Chaudhary - Meow Meow Band Xordox - Omniverse Interstellar Grains - Cubed

Recent reading, maybe not all were published this past year: Joy Harjo - Poet Warrior: A Memoir Malcolm Gladwell - Talking to Strangers Yuval Noah Harari - Sapiens Colson Whitehead - Harlem Shuffle Elliott Sharp - IrRational Music Jim Woodring - And Now, Sir - Is This Your Missing Gonad?

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DJ Food

Music: Snow Palms - Land Waves LP (Village Green) Robert Fripp - Music for Quiet Moments (DGM) DJ Format - Devil's Workshop LP Trevor Jackson - Underdog 1993-1998 radio mix (NTS) CAVS - CAVS 12" (PHC) The Nevermen - Treat 'Em Right (Boards of Canada remix) DL (Lex) Vanishing Twin - Ookii Gekkou LP (Fire Records) Jay Glass Dubs - Jungle Shuffle 12" (The Wormhole) Brian Eno - The Lighthouse (Sonos HD) Regal Worm - The Hideous Goblink LP (Quatermass) Ternion Sound - Dovetail (Kursa remix) 12” (Next Level)

Podcasts: Martyn Ware - Electronically Yours Ed Piskor / Jim Rugg - Cartoonist Kayfabe (YouTube) Stephen Coates - The Bureau of Lost Culture We Buy Records (Apple podcasts) Matt Black - Pirate TV (Twitch/FB/YouTube)

Gigs / Events: Vanishing Twin - Pensiero Magico live stream Jan 20th Alice In Wonderland @ The V&A Museum, London Savage Pencil @ OrbitalSpace, London The Light Surgeons 'Atemporal' @ Iklectik, London The The's Comeback Special premier @ Troxy Cinema, London Jonny Trunk's Groovy Record Fayre @ Mildmay Club, London People Like Us - Gone, Gone Beyond @The Pit Theatre, Barbican, London Anicka Yi - Aerobes @ Tate Modern, London

Design / Packaging: Hattie Cooke - The Sleepers LP (Spun Out of Control) King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard - live bootlegs series LP (Fuzz Club) Une - Spomenik LP (Spun Out Of Control) Cos - Mix LP (Finders Keepers) The Third Man Records shop in Soho, London Pepe Deluxe - The Phantom Cabinet vol.1 LP (Catskills) The Zen Delay (Ninja Tune / Erica Synths) Kingston University Stylophone Orchestra - Stylophonika (Spun Out Of Control) Brian Eno's turntable

Books / Magazines / Comics: Rain Like Hammers - Brandon Graham (Image) Bedroom Beats & B-Sides - Laurent Fintoni (Velocity Press) Decorum - Jonathan Hickman & Mike Huddleston (Image) Ultramega - James Harren (Skybound/Image) Anatomie Narrative - Samplerman The Black Locomotive - Rian Hughes (Picador) Kane & Able - Shaky Kane & Krent Able (Image) Tales To Enlighten - Matt King & James Edward Clark (Kickstarter) The Out - Dan Abnett & Mark Harrison (2000AD) 99 Balls Pond Road - Julie Drower (Scrudge Books)

Film /TV: Bathtubs Over Broadway (Netflix) Wandavision (Disney+) Sisters With Transistors - Lisa Rovener (BFI) What We Do In The Shadows Season 3 (BBC2) Martha: A Picture Story (Projector Films) Records - Alan Zweig (TVO) Big Mouth (Adult Swim)

#year end list #Best of 2021 #playlist #jg thirlwell #Thurston Moore #DJ Food #Jason Berry #John King #Steve Moore #zombi #MV Carbon #teho teardo #tom recchion #felix kubin #tim parkinson #LAFMS #foetus #manorexia #xordox

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starilicious · 3 years

Text

der lagi lekin (hunter x force-user!gn! reader + ep. 8 fix-it)

》 summary: tbb episode 8 fix-it featuring a force-user reader who used to be a jedi. reader is a part of tbb and in a relationship with hunter, but the squad–nor hunter–knows that reader is a force-user. (disclaimer: all of this was written before episode 9 was released! see a/n for an explanation ^_^) (another disclaimer: if you want just the hunter x reader comfort, please let me know and i'll finish it up and post it!)

》 word count: ~8k (yeah, it's a lot LOL)

click here to read on AO3

》 warnings: in-universe swearing, mental breakdown, some slight sensory overloads, pretty mild panic attack, light canon-typical violence, angst + some comfort, survivor's guilt from surviving order 66, no use of y/n, slightly plot heavy because i got way too carried away in writing (whoops?) [if i should add more warnings, please let me know!]

》 spoilers: major ones for tbb episode 8 "reunion"

》 a/n: okay look, i gotta confess: this wasn’t supposed to be an episode 8 fix-it. really. i’m actually glad cad bane won because we get to see that the clones don’t always win every fight... i think it makes for a better and more complex story. anyway, i started out writing just reader and hunter comfort after episode 8 ended. but i’m weak for omega because she reminds me so much of my younger siblings and i ended up writing a wholeass fix-it to save her (even tho cad bane is a downright badass). i kind of liked what i did with building up the plot so much that i might continue this story of force-user!reader with tbb. but that’s a tangent we can deal with later. if you would like a part two with the hunter x reader comfort this was originally intended to be, let me know!

as i said in the summary, i wrote all of this before episode 9 came out–just be aware of that. because it’s so long, it took me a while to edit, which is why i’m posting after ep. 9 was released. but without further ado, i hope you like it! <33

》 misc. notes:

• title of the fic is from the hindi song "der lagi lekin" from the film zindagi na milegi dobara. i linked the song in blue and linked the english translations in green in case you're curious! it's not necessary to listen or understand the song, but i thought it went well with the fic :)

“Everybody get down!” Wrecker yells. You and the squad immediately do as he instructs, diving towards the ground and covering your head. Stars, I hope this works.

The charges the six of you placed around the gigantic cone that surrounds the core cylinder explodes in a deafening blast. You curl into the tightest ball you can manage, breathing so hard that the HUD inside your helmet temporarily fogs up. Metal shards of the explosion rain down on you hard.

For a moment, it seems like nothing happened. But then you hear the telltale, ear-grinding creak of the durasteel and the squad is roughly catapulted forward from the force of the cone beginning to fall down.

You struggle to stand up as you lurch this way and that, trying to regain your balance and stabilize as Tech calls out, “Hold on!”

You quickly glance at the rest of the Bad Batch, trying to see if any of them were hurt. Other than the absolutely terrified look on Omega’s face, all is well considering the circumstances. The metal groans and begins its descent, taking your feeling of being grounded with it. The weightlessness is uncomfortably familiar to say the least, but you ignore it as the six of you scramble to hold on to the side of the cone. You certainly did your fair share of acrobatics back in the war, but feeling it hum around you...it’s too much. It’s too much. You elect to push it back into the depths of your brain. But it doesn’t leave.

It never really does.

Omega’s anxious whimpers come in faintly through your thick helmet and you whip around, frantically trying to find where she is. But before you can find her, the cone lands vertically on its head and the force is so violent that your stable hold on the durasteel is broken. Panicked, you quickly fire a grappling hook towards the ledge where you were previously hanging on. The hook catches and you stop abruptly, the jerky movement almost wrenching your arm out of its socket.

You look down to see Omega falling from someone’s grip and into Hunter’s arms. You can barely tell where anyone is thanks to the lack of light and the incessant motion.

The cone begins to topple onto its side and suddenly, your wire snaps from the tension. You let out a scream of surprise as you plummet downwards, wind rushing past your helmet. ForceIdon’twanttodieohmyMakerohno–

But you never hit the ground, instead being flung sideways as the cone tears into two. On trained instinct, you tuck yourself into a ball to try and roll in order to break your fall instead of using it. That time is long gone.

You land with a sickening thud and hiss in pain as your back hits the metal hard. You hear something crack, but whether it is your armor or something internal, you have absolutely no idea, and don’t have time to check before you black out.

✧✦✧

You jolt awake, a sound making its way into your consciousness. Finally, the damn place stopped moving. You take a few minutes to try and relieve the painful pressure in your chest, reaching up to rip your helmet off because you can’t breathe, you can’t breathe.

You tilt your head back as you struggle to take in air and let the adrenaline subside. You hear voices in the distance and you strain your ears to pick up on the sound as you quickly check yourself over. As far as you can tell, nothing major is broken, and at this point, that is all that matters. Though, your head is pounding, and for more reasons than one

“–nter.. port side... what… status?”

You can’t tell who is speaking, the message too far away for you to hear. But the bits and pieces are enough for you to know that it’s someone from the Bad Batch and that you weren’t unconscious for long. You stand up and dust yourself off before slowly walking to where you believe the origin of the sound is.

“–engine… got company.” A blaster sound and then an explosion rings through the quiet.

Your eyes widen and you quickly pick up the pace, getting your blaster ready as you pick your way through the sharp metal that is jutting out from the ground.

You click on your wrist comm. “Echo, you there?” A faint crackle before his voice comes through, but the signal is scratchy. You frown in frustration.

“–are you? Hunter is... port side,” Echo says and you smack your commlink to try and get the electronics to work, but it’s no use. The device is broken, most likely from the fall, you deduce.

“Meet… Marauder.”

You don’t bother to answer, knowing Echo would probably not even be able to hear what you had to say anyway. Without a signal booster or repeater, there’s no way you can get your transmission across the channel frequency.

It takes a few minutes, but you eventually find the night sky of Bracca blinking down at you at the end of the ripped off cone. You run out to find that you’re in the middle of where the cone broke in half. Okay, new plan. I need to find Hunter. Hunter will know what to do.

You scan your surroundings. The HUD isn’t picking up on any lifeforms near you, and you realize with sinking dread that you have no more options. Whichever piece you climbed through to get to your squadmates, it would take too long for you to search for them since you don’t know their coordinates and your comm isn’t working. Frankly, the Empire–Crosshair–would find you first. You have to use it.

You have to use the Force.

A wave of nausea overcomes you at the mere thought of it and you sway. In an attempt to ground yourself, you tear off your helmet to breathe some fresh air and end up keeling over as the bile rises in your throat. Nothing comes out. You can’t tell if that’s a positive or not.

You could have saved them. Someone. Anyone.

It itches at you in the back of your head, wishing to be let out of its cage. But you can’t. You can’t do it. What’s the use anyway? All you would be doing is saving yourself. The choice of surviving it all has haunted you ever since. Your head pounds in agony.

You saw it happen. You could have helped them. And you ran like a coward. Only ever concerned about yourself.

You inhale sharply as the scene flashes before your eyes, clones shooting at you and the other Jedi. The blaster fire. The confusion. The screams.

How pathetic.

The last statement, an echo of Crosshair’s words, bounces around in your brain. You clutch your head as you let out a heartbroken sob, knee deep in the dirt and metal and grief. Tears create clean tracks down your face as you finally break down, the flood of emotions bursting the dam open. At this point, you don’t know if the emotions are yours or the ones you previously felt through the Force, all of them swirling and blending into one. The bottled up anguish merged together when you attempted to cut yourself off from the Force after the clones–your friends–attacked.

The pain of their death is perhaps the worst of all. Horror courses through you as you finally process your friends and mentors dying around the galaxy, their deaths, their distress, their fear reverberating heavily throughout the Force. Each one cripples you further as you once again struggle to breathe.

It feels like light years pass when you finally calm down to a practically numb state of being. The scenes stop replaying behind your closed eyelids and the echoing shrieks die down to a faint, hollow whisper. You’re suddenly exhausted, limbs heavy and energy sapped. It was almost relieving to finally let the Force once again flow through your body, your nerves lightly tingling with potential despite how tired you feel. You collapse onto the ground and try to recenter yourself.

But despite finally acknowledging the loss, it doesn’t feel right. You didn’t get to say goodbye. You hadn’t been able to even think about them, much less honor them, too focused on going on the run to concentrate on anything beyond the next day’s survival. Even once you joined the Bad Batch, you were paranoid about their chips, about your friends turning on you at any moment. You were always extremely reluctant to engage in the Force, even at the worst of times.

With a start, you realize that you don’t need to worry about your squadmates. Their inhibitor chips are now gone. You… you are safe.

You let out a shocked laugh as it sinks in. A glimmer of hope, of peace. I’m safe.

You sit up then, criss-crossing your legs as you survey the broken landscape of Bracca. Despite the planet being a graveyard, you feel lucidly alive. Perhaps something died in you, that wretched day. But something else, slowly but surely, began growing in its place. It’s meek, but it’s there.

You let out a breath and close your eyes, reaching for the Force like it’s an old friend. It accepts your invitation with hesitation, joining hands with you as if you did not try beating it to death for days on end. You sink into the gentle lapping waves of the Force, extending into it and widening your scope.

There’s something that lurks beneath the surface, in the deep. Dark and sinister and so utterly painful. It calls to you, quiet and low. Enticing. Tempting. And something in you knows that it’s the reason for your previous life’s demise.

But you can feel Hunter’s–and Omega’s, you realize–presence near you in the Force. Even with your relatively damaged connection to the Force after Order 66, the Bad Batch’s Force auras were something you could always hone in on. You let yourself direct your focus to the duo, letting their emotions be your beacon to the acceptance of the Light side of the Force.

In a split second, you decide to not dive deeper into the Force. This isn’t the place nor the time to discover what is prowling in the endless yawning of the Force, to discover why everything happened. So you direct your concentration to the beings on the planet, feeling and breathing your way through the Life Force.

You freeze. There’s something here. No… someone. Your eyebrows furrow as you divert your attention away from your friends and other organisms to the peculiar source. Something about this person strikes you as familiar.

Your eyes snap open and you gasp. I’m not alone. A Force-sensitive. Someone survived. Giddy beyond belief, you snatch up your helmet and begin trekking your way across the wreckage in the opposite direction of Hunter and Omega before pausing. Whoever this person is doesn’t know about your presence on the planet.

And despite the fear you felt emanating off of them in the Force, you somehow knew they were safe, at least for now. And they would remain so if you have anything to say about it. Maker forbid anything that jeopardizes this person’s fragile safety. After all, you know best what it’s like to constantly flee scene after scene.

Staying away is the best thing to do. I’ll come back for you, whoever you are.

You double back and make quick work of getting across the debris as you focus your concentration on Hunter’s and Omega’s Force signatures. As you get closer to the port side, you hear Omega’s high voice. Through your HUD, you can see her small form. You grin. She disappears then, and on closer inspection, you figure she jumped through some broken cargo doors.

The entrance she and Hunter took is too high for you to jump up to, even with the aid of the Force. Combined with your wariness of probe droids, you decide to take a different route from the right side, climbing up the broken ship. The slick oil mixed with the water still present on the metal makes for a difficult trek, and you slip more times than you would like to admit.

Hunter’s gruff voice floats up towards you and you scramble the last few meters to the edge of a hole in the ceiling before pausing. The Force is itching at the back of your head. Something’s wrong.

You peek over the edge of the giant slab of durasteel that created the hole to see bodies in white armor littered everywhere–clones, you realize. Your heart pangs in sadness at the sight.

Slightly to your right, a blue figure and a techno-service droid stand in front of a ship and a frightened Omega stands behind a defensive Hunter. Your mouth drops open. Kriff.

Cad Bane.

A memory from near the beginning of the war hits you in full force. You and Anakin had taken some time on Coruscant to catch up with each other after you passed your trials and were promoted to Jedi Knight. He told you about a mission where he had to stop a bounty hunter who successfully stole a Jedi holocron. You remember how surprised you were when you heard the bitter disgust in Anakin’s voice. The ruthlessly cunning bounty hunter not only threatened to kill Ahsoka, but he murdered Master Ropal.

Judging by the looks of it, Hunter doesn’t know who he is. If the Anakin Skywalker had a difficult time with Cad Bane, there is no way in sithhell Hunter can take him on, even with his enhanced senses. Frankly, you seriously doubt you can either, especially with how rusty your Force skills are now. And that means this isn’t going to end well.

You watch carefully as you tune into the conversation.

“Ain’t you smart?” Bane smirks. “The kid’s got it all figured it out.”

“You’re in trouble now!” the droid exclaims, pointing at Hunter and Omega. You grit your teeth in annoyance.

“Who hired you?” Hunter asks. Stalling. Not a bad move, Hunter.

“Son,” Bane sighs, already done with the brief conversation. “That’s confidential information. Now hand her over.”

Omega stays behind Hunter, taking a knee as Hunter walks forward protectively. You bristle. How am I supposed to help from up here?

“She’s not going anywhere.”

Your eyes drift over the scene in a panic and you take in the fallen clones again. An idea pops into your head. It is desperate, but at this point, you don’t have much of a choice.

Bane mimics Hunter’s movement, walking forward and putting a hand near his belt. The tension is as thick as duracrete.

“That’s unfortunate… for you.”

You grab the long barrel piece from your belt, fitting it over your blaster hurriedly as the showdown begins. Out of the corner of your eye, you see them staring each other down and you can’t help but roll your eyes. Men.

During the war, Crosshair helped you re-engineer your weapon so you could put together various pieces in the field to make a blaster gun that loosely resembled his own sniper. Seeing the clones reminded you of him. A wave of sadness washes over you, but you shake your head. Now is not the time.

You screw on the telescopic sight and set up your makeshift sniper. You peer through the viewfinder and find Bane’s chest. Your finger tenses over the trigger.

You let yourself sink deep into the Force, let it guide your actions. Inhale. Exhale. I can do this. As you relax, the mellow warmth you missed so dearly washes over you, gently eroding the torment in your mind and heart, guiding your focus to the here and now. Trust in the Force.

Wait.

Now.

You fire two bolts straight into your target the same exact moment Bane and Hunter shoot each other. Hunter’s shot hits the droid, breaking off its leg. Bane’s shot hits directly in Hunter’s chest, as yours did Bane. Both men immediately fall backwards and slam into the ground.

“My booster!” Oh. So not a leg. Got it.

“Hunter!”

Kriff kriff kriff. You jump down nimbly from your hiding spot in the ceiling and immediately sprint towards the duo. Is he dead? You would unapologetically release sithhell on Bane if he killed the man you love.

Omega panics as she tries to wake Hunter up, continuously calling his name before taking a glimpse of her surroundings. Before you can react, she grabs her bow and pulls it taut, aiming at you. She looks petrified.

“Whoa! Omega, it’s me!” you exclaim, holding your hands up in surrender. She takes a moment to actually look at you before sagging in relief. Suddenly, the droid comes speeding out of nowhere and Omega shoots, the energy bolt whizzing past your waist and straight into the droid before it can attack you from behind.

The shot rings true and the grumpy robot falls. You turn around to grab at its exposed parts under its head and yank them out to make sure it can’t power on again.

“Thanks, Omega. I owe you one,” you say and Omega gives you a proud smile.

You place a comforting hand on her shoulder before kneeling down to shake Hunter awake, but it doesn’t work. You take a moment to analyse Hunter’s Life Force. It’s a bit dimmer, but it’s constant, meaning he’s out cold and doesn’t have the life draining out of him. You let out a sigh of relief. He’s alive. You glance back to see Bane still not moving. Good.

“What’re we gonna do?” Omega whispers as you both peer down at Hunter. His armor is smoking from Bane’s blaster shot and you exhale through your teeth, trying to come up with a plan. You slip off a glove to check Hunter’s pulse–it’s strong. You don’t want to leave Omega alone, even if Bane is unconscious, but you aren’t sure you have a choice.

“Well we can’t carry him to safety, neither of us are strong enough for that,” you think aloud, gears churning in your head. You would have to wait for help, even if you were sitting ducks.

Briefly, you entertain the thought of taking Bane’s ship. The only problem is you don’t know what trackers or other gadgets are in there–it’s too costly of a risk and a price you weren’t willing to pay. You sigh, resigned.

“Omega, you try to comm the others and see if you can wake Hunter up. I’m going to go inside this guy’s ship and see if I can find something that can help us. We have to get out of here before the bounty hunter wakes up,” you instruct and Omega nods, youthful determination flooding back into her eyes.

You leave her to it, walking cautiously towards Bane’s ship. You look down at him. His armor is smoking in two places from the shots you fired. Based on what you see, he’s still unconscious, and his Life Force reflects the same conclusion. How long that would remain, you don’t know. Which means you need to work fast.

You board the ship while you remove the sniper attachments from your blaster and clip them back onto your belt. You keep your guard up as you look around. No droids. Guess that techno-service droid is his one and only.

In an effort to slowly re-familiarize yourself with the Force, you send out a quick pulse through it to see if there are any lifeforms aboard the ship, relaxing when you find none. You rummage through all the cabinets that you discover, looking high and low as you try to locate something of use. The secret compartment in the cockpit proves to be the fruitful reward to your search. With a wave of your hand, you unlock it with ease. Bingo.

Credits. Bags of them. And they’re unmarked creds, which make your score even better. Hopefully, it would be enough to pay off your debt to Cid and give the Havoc Marauder some much-needed upgrades.

Usually, you would feel bad about stealing from someone, but considering this was a bounty hunter – Cad Bane, no less – you figure you can risk treading the grey area of your moral code.

You grab as many bags as you’re able, stuffing them inside your backpack and clipping the rest onto your belt. At this moment, you’re incredibly grateful to Tech and Echo for designing a sturdy utility belt that fits you well. The standard ones were for clones and you definitely were not a clone.

You exit the cockpit and head to the second level of the ship to see if there’s anything else you can find. A stack of crates sits in the corner across from what you assume to be a prison. You scrunch your nose in disgust as you open one to find medical supplies. Bacta patches and gel, vitapaste, rations, water, gloves, sanitary napkins–it was all there. Delighted, you close the crate and click the repulsor to make it levitate. Oh how you love technology.

You turn around and walk back up the stairs to leave the ship. You freeze at the exit ramp. You have got to be karking kidding me.

“Sorry lil’ lady.”

Cad Bane stuns Omega in front of your eyes before rounding on you and immediately fires. In a desperate attempt to save yourself, you throw your hands up and the honeyed power of the Force rushes through every fibre of your being. The blaster bolts slow down to a snail-like crawl and your eyes widen. How did I…?

Never mind how you argue with yourself. Time to get out of here!

You tiptoe around each bolt, the effort of keeping them in stasis becoming more difficult with each passing moment. You grit your teeth as your arms shake, but you keep going until you are finally off the ramp. You lower your arms and the energy hits the inside of the ship, spazzing out the blinking controls inside.

Bane turns to you in surprise, astonished at how you’re suddenly in front of him. You don’t give him the luxury of processing the event and immediately punch him in the face with as much strength as you can muster. Bane pitches backwards and collapses onto the ground, just as he did the first time. You grab your stun blaster and shoot him as extra assurance. You really did not want this to repeat again. Hopefully he never wakes up with a memory of what I just did...

“Now stay down,” you mutter to a knocked out Bane, cradling your now injured hand. You have no idea how Wrecker ever does this because wow your hand is killing you.

You have to say, you’re pretty proud of yourself for being able to render him unconscious not once, but two times. You wish you could tell Anakin–the thought saddens you. He’s probably dead too.

With that vividly cheery thought, you stagger back from the ramp in exhaustion, weary from the sudden surge of the Force still ebbing and coursing through your body.

None of the Bad Batch knew you used to be a Jedi–not even Hunter. It was something only a few of your closest Jedi friends and the Jedi Council knew about.

But after what happened today, with Rex helping your squadmates get their inhibitor chips out, with you finally letting the Force in… maybe it is time to tell them. The secrecy wouldn’t be needed anymore now that you were sure you were safe around your friends. But clearly, the universe wanted to throw a nasty vibroblade in your plans by knocking Hunter and Omega unconscious and having the best kriffing bounty hunter in the galaxy be hot on your heels.

You take a few seconds to get your breath back and regain your mental energy. You aren’t out of the woods yet. You run inside Bane’s ship to grab the crate of medical supplies before sprinting back out towards Hunter and Omega.

You lean down and pat Omega’s cheek gently, trying to wake her up, but she’s out cold. Why is everyone around me unconscious? Frankly, you’re equally amused and terrified by the situation laid out in front of you.

You sigh, looking around to see if you can find some cover. There’s a giant sheet of durasteel to your left, big enough to act as a barrier in case trouble comes knocking. You bend down and pick Omega up before placing her down cautiously, leaning her small body against the metal. You repeat the action with the crate you found.

The third time proves to be much more difficult. Hunter certainly isn’t as muscular as Wrecker, but he sure as sithhell isn’t as light as Omega. You tap your foot nervously, trying to figure out a way for you to lift him. Yes, you could use the Force, but you don’t want to alert the other Force-sensitive on the planet. If they knew about your existence, it could put them in danger, and that was the last thing you wanted.

Giving up, you place your hands underneath Hunter’s armpits and effectively drag him all the way over, propping him up as you did Omega. You cringe at the sound of his armor grating the floor. There are sure to be dirty scuff marks on it now. Sorry Hunter.

Just as you’re about to sit down next to him, heaving deep breaths from the exertion, you pause. A warning is practically blaring in the Force and you tense, urgently trying to figure out the cause.

“Not again,” you mumble under your breath. You can’t handle any more action today. With Hunter and Omega both down, and your extreme fatigue from engaging in the Force, you don’t know how much of a fight you can put up. Not to mention you never trained as a soldier. There was a reason why you left the military planning strategies to the Bad Batch.

You hold your blaster close to your chest as you scan the environment. Bane is immobile and so is the dismantled techno-service droid. So what’s wrong?

Ten nerve-wracking seconds pass before you get your answer. Clone voices waft up to your hiding spot and you bite your cheek in frustration as your head continues to pound. Your headache still hasn’t stopped.

There is no way you can fight them all off, especially if Crosshair is with them. They are too far away for you to get a read on how many there are, and frankly, you’re much too scared to even peek around the durasteel to count.

One of Tech’s previous statements floats through your mind. About three attack shuttles worth.

You can feel your heart thumping wildly in your chest, blood rushing through your ears as anxiety ties your stomach into knots. I can’t do this, I can’t do this, Ican’tdothis.

You take deep breaths, doing your best to clear your mind and focus. You had to do this. There is no other option other than surrendering or dying. No, damnit, you would go down fighting until the Life Force left you.

You peer just past the edge of the metal to see at least twenty clones heading your way. Certainly not ideal, but you bide your time. If you started shooting now, you couldn’t use the element of surprise to your advantage and they would easily overwhelm you. But once they’re close enough, you hope you can at least take a couple out before having to resort to using the Force. It isn’t ideal, but it’s all you have.

Honestly, you don’t know if you could get out of this one alive, much less protect Hunter and Omega too. Maker help me.

It throws you off when they finally come into sight–you see how plain the clones’ armor looked without paint. You never really noticed it before since you were always running for your life in those circumstances. But now that you think about it, you are so used to seeing bright blue or green or yellow that the alabaster white just seems so… odd.

“Looks like a big fight happened here.”

“Yeah, tell me about it. All these men are dead.”

Now.

You whip your body around the metal and immediately begin shooting as fast as you can pull the trigger, trying to make every shot count. The troopers hesitate for just a moment, most likely due to their surprise of you being there. But that second is all you need.

You take out the three men closest to you before jumping back behind the metal as their barrage of fire rains down on you. You do your best to shoot back and manage to take out one more clone, but they’re beginning to gain too much ground too fast. I can do this. I have to do this.

As far as you can tell, Crosshair isn’t with the clones attacking you, but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t set up shop somewhere nearby, waiting to shoot you.

You shudder. It’s a chilling thought.

You grab one of your last detonators from your belt and hurl it as far as you can. The rapid beeping rises quickly in pitch before the charge explodes. Anguished cries reverberate throughout the area, and you briefly feel sorry for having to take such drastic measures as you feel their Force signatures dim swiftly. But you don’t have a choice.

Peeking around the corner, you count around eight to ten clones down. Not bad considering the circumstances.

You continue shooting as much as you can but now the troopers are much too close for comfort and you’re feeling overwhelmed. The durasteel you are using for cover isn’t meant to take this kind of damage, and the integrity of your shield is quickly waning as told by the constant creaks and groans. You don’t know what to do. Will we make it?

In your haste of shooting first and panicking later, you don’t notice Hunter groaning, finally waking up. And before you have time to even glance at him, the familiar hum of the Havoc Marauder and its lights shine down on you. Your sag in relief. Looks like Omega was able to comm them after all. Never before have you been so glad to see the beat-up hunk of junk. (You would never say that to Tech though–the Marauder is his baby, his pride and joy.)

Echo, Wrecker, and Tech all race off the ship, guns ablazing. Wrecker and Tech stand guard, serving as cover fire while Echo bends down to help you out.

“Hunter, wake up!” Echo hisses and smacks his helmet lightly. Hunter mumbles in pain as he starts to move, trying to look around as his HUD boots back up. Seriously? Now you wake up? you think sarcastically. But you’re much more relieved at the fact that he has actually woken up.

“What happened? Where’s Omega?” Wrecker bellows, worried.

“She’s right here, I’ve got her!” you shout back at the same time Echo says, “He was shot in the chest plate.”

You pocket your blaster and gather the young girl in your arms with every last bit of strength you have left. You aren’t strong enough to hold her in one arm and shoot with the other. That is much more up Wrecker’s alley.

“We have to get him on board!” Tech exclaims as he helps Echo support Hunter. You pick Omega up in both arms and bolt for the ship as fast as you can while yelling at Tech to grab the crate of supplies.

“Incoming!” Wrecker calls out as a fresh wave of troopers advance towards the six of you. You grunt as you deposit Omega in a chair near the controls before pulling out your blaster and helping Wrecker shoot down the men racing towards you.

“Got him. Tech, fly us out of here!” Echo commands while Wrecker makes a gesture for them to get on the ship faster. Hunter stumbles as he does his best to upright himself.

“Go go go!” Wrecker exclaims. Tech shoves the crate next to Omega’s seat and makes a beeline for the cockpit as you continue shooting, moving to the side to make space for Echo and Hunter to come on board. Wrecker quickly climbs in right after them and the ramp closes shut.

Tech immediately pilots the Havoc Marauder up and away from the scene. You vaguely hear the sound of blaster fire hitting the bottom of the ship while you drop your blaster on the ground and wrench Hunter’s helmet off in a panic. You take his face in your hands as you scan him quickly, trying to figure out if he’s hurt or not.

Hunter bats your hands away. “He... he took Omega,” he says and you shake your head. Wrecker pipes up from behind you to respond.

“Who? Crosshair?”

“The bounty hunter,” Hunter mutters as he rubs a hand over his face. Before Wrecker can answer again, you step in.

“No, he didn’t. I took him down. And no, he’s not dead,” you tack on quickly when you see Echo open his mouth. Echo shakes his head fondly and you just grin at him.

“She’s right here,” Echo says instead, pointing to Omega’s sleeping figure. Hunter turns in surprise to see that his brother is indeed telling the truth.

“How...?” Hunter’s voice trails off. Echo and Wrecker look at you expectantly, and Hunter follows suit. You sigh and take off your helmet, setting it down on the ledge next to the controls. You don’t look at them.

“It’s a long story.”

You don’t have a chance to elaborate any further because Tech walks in, interrupting the conversation.

“I’ve made the jump to hyperspace. There was a cruiser in the atmosphere, but I was able to quietly go past them by disguising our ship as a bounty hunter’s. They didn’t interfere. I put in the coordinates for Ord Mantell. I estimate our time of arrival to be five hours and thirty two minutes,” Tech reports and Hunter nods while you voice your thanks.

“Looks like we got time!” Wrecker says cheerily, pulling out an extra chair. Tech looks to you in confusion.

“Did I miss something significant?” Tech asks, concerned about the information he did not receive as he adjusts his goggles. You shake your head but now, all eyes are back on you.

“She was just about to tell us how she saved Omega,” Hunter supplies helpfully and Tech nods in understanding. He grabs a chair as well and sits down, interested in hearing what you have to say.

You look around the room, realizing you can’t get out of it. You are exhausted and just want to sleep but based on the looks you are getting from the boys, there is no way you can leave without giving a sufficient answer.

You sit down on a chair in between Omega and Echo and begin explaining.

“When the cone fell, it separated. I got knocked out when I hit the ground, but I don’t think I broke anything,” you quickly reassure as Tech grabs a datapad to scan your vitals.

“After I came to, I tried comming Echo, but my commlink was broken – I could only hear bits and pieces of what he said. There were some voices near me so I just followed them and–” you pause, not sure if you should tell them what happened. What you experienced, what you found out. “–I saw Hunter and Omega. The ledge I found was way too high for me to jump to, so I climbed up the side of the wreckage to see them and the bounty hunter facing off,” you say, choosing to leave the detail out. It was too personal. You still needed time.

All of them are listening intently, hanging on to every word you’re saying. Hunter’s gaze on you is heavy and loaded with questions. Tech is still tapping away on the datapad, but you know you have his full attention. Multitasking may not be possible for regular humans, but it definitely was for Tech.

“When I saw the bounty hunter, I knew Hunter wasn’t going to win,” you mumble sheepishly, rubbing the back of your neck. Hunter winces at your statement and you rush to explain why.

“Hunter, you have to trust that I genuinely don’t doubt your abilities. You are much more of a soldier than I will ever be. But this bounty hunter is one of the best, if not the best in the entire galaxy. He’s gone against the Jedi, and won. Based on what Anakin told me at the beginning of the war, Cad Bane is ruthless. He tortured Master Ropal and killed him. Believe it or not, I think he tried to abduct Chancellor Palpatine. Even Anakin had a difficult time fighting him.”

A tense quiet settles over you all as you mentally revisit your conversation with Anakin, and later with Ahsoka. She told you how it was one of the first times she was genuinely afraid that she was going to die, or at least get hurt very severely.

Echo’s rough voice shakes you out of your reverie. “How do–did you know General Skywalker?” he asks, clearly confused at how you referred to him on a first-name basis. You mentally facepalm yourself. How did I forget he served as part of the 501st? You feel incredibly stupid.

You could make up a lie, of course, but it wouldn’t be worth it. Hunter’s enhanced senses and Tech’s vitals scan could probably pick up on your biological signs, not to mention you would feel terribly guilty about not being honest. I promised myself I would tell them…

You blow out a nervous breath, deciding to at least give them something. They deserved that much.

“I’m–well, I was a Jedi,” you admit, staring down at your feet. You can’t bring yourself to look at them, feeling almost… ashamed.

The boys are shocked into silence and you cringe. There was probably a much better way for you to say that, but now it was out there. Yet the pressure that had been weighing down on you since you let the Force back in didn’t lessen.

“What?” Wrecker questions, thrown completely for a loop. “You’re a Jedi?”

Before you can answer, Tech pipes up. “When I reviewed your medical data, there was no note about an elevated midi-chlorian count or any sort of connection to the Force. Additionally, there is no documentation of you serving as a General or a Commander during the war in the Republic military records. How were you a Jedi? And why aren’t you one now? You used past tense in your sentence,” Tech adjusts his goggles as he attempts to register this new information that conflicted with his previous knowledge.

You sigh, drumming your fingers on your thigh. “I left the Jedi Order before the war ended. I promise I’ll explain everything in detail later, but for now, you have to understand that I’m just a Force-user. I trained as a Jedi, but I’m not a Jedi, not anymore,” you clarify, lifting your head up to make eye contact with each of them.

“Aw man, that’s so cool. You have to show us your cool mind tricks sometime!” Wrecker smiles and you agree to his request. It warms your heart to see him so excited.

“It makes sense. You must have seen the regs turn on the Jedi but didn’t know why. When you started traveling with us, you didn’t know if we would turn on you too, even though we’re not regs,” Hunter realizes, and you nod in affirmation. You’re secretly relieved by the fact that he doesn’t seem angry, just… just thoughtful.

“And then when I saw what happened to Crosshair, I knew I couldn’t risk ever telling any of you. But when Rex told us about the chips…” you trail off.

Echo picks up your sentence quickly. “You figured out you would be safe with us if we got our chips removed. No wonder you were so insistent on following what Rex said.”

You smile at the last part, a bit embarrassed. He wasn’t wrong. You were probably even more insistent than Rex was on telling them to get their inhibitor chips out. Better to be safe than sorry you told them. Though at the time, you hadn’t even thought about how removing their chips would impact you and your abilities. You were too focused on keeping the Force out of your body to entertain that thought.

Wrecker suddenly gets up and gathers you in a bone-crushing hug. “Well you don’t have to worry now! We got those stupid chips out of our heads, which means I promise we won’t kill you!” he says cheerfully and you can’t help but laugh as you hug him back, the knot in your chest beginning to unravel. You could always count on Wrecker’s wonderfully big heart to raise your spirits.

“You’re right, big guy. It’s honestly a relief. One less thing I have to worry about.”

Wrecker lets go of you and you pick up where you left off. “As I was saying, Cad Bane isn’t a bounty hunter we can take lightly. Crosshair helped me re-engineer my blaster to turn it into a pseudo sniper with attachable parts during the war. Because I was so high up, I could get a clear shot of Bane. From that vantage point, I shot him at the same time Hunter and Bane shot each other.”

Echo’s mouth drops open. “Damn.”

“What I didn’t expect was for Hunter to be rendered completely unconscious. So I told Omega to try to comm you guys while I went on Bane’s ship to see if I could find anything. And I did.” You pull off your backpack and dump out the contents. Bags of credits come tumbling out. You unhook the few bags on your belt and toss them into the pile.

“Bane had a secret compartment with a lot of credits. So I took them and that crate I yelled at Tech to get,” you explain as you reach into the bag to show off the Imperial credits.

Tech’s eyes widen as he lifts up a bag to inspect it. “I will have to calculate how much you took and mark it in the inventory, but based on my initial deduction, this may be enough for us to upgrade the Marauder and provide sustenance for at least a few months.”

“Nice one!” Wrecker compliments and you grin in response. “What’s in the crate?” he asks, walking over to lift up the top.

“Medical supplies. We barely had any left so I figured I might as well take that too,” you shrug as Hunter gets up to join Wrecker to peer at the contents.

“What happened after that? You said you told Omega to comm the others, which means she was awake. Did she get hurt while I was out? Is that why you look so exhausted?” Hunter inquires, astute as ever.

You bite your lower lip. “When I was getting off his ship with the goods, he had woken up again. Before I could do anything, he stunned Omega and then immediately shot at me,” you pause, wondering if you should elaborate on how you got out of the situation. You decide to come clean on this part.

“I… I don’t know how, but I was able to stop the blaster bolts and keep them – and Bane – in stasis with the Force. The problem was that it took a lot out of me. After not really using the Force for so long, my energy reserves were pretty much gone,” you sigh, absentmindedly rubbing your arms. Your muscles are still sore from the event.

“After that, I punched him and knocked him out again. I dragged you and Omega away from the ship so that I could protect you, and I ended up using that giant piece of durasteel as cover to fight off those clones. Then you guys came and rescued us and that’s that,” you finish, suddenly fatigued from the conversation. You slump back into your chair, perfect posture be damned.

“Wow,” is all Echo says, surprised by your strength. It took some serious stamina to be able to withstand so much for so long. Echo remembered seeing Commander Tano and General Skywalker be exhausted after some especially intense missions where they constantly had to use the Force.

“Yeah,” you mutter, massaging your dominant hand. It is still throbbing from the mean hook you threw at Bane. You don’t have any regrets. You glance at Omega’s sleeping figure and soften. The things I would do for this girl.

“Looks like I taught you well!” Wrecker laughs and you smile. When you first met the Bad Batch, Wrecker took it upon himself to teach you basic self-defense and how to overtake an opponent intelligently. Even though you already learned how to fight as part of your Jedi and military training, you couldn’t say no to him when he looked so excited. But it paid off because he’s right. Wrecker did teach you well.

“You did. You basically saved my ass out there with your amazing teaching skills,” you chuckle, glancing down at your hand. You think you’ll probably have to cover it in bacta gel to speed up the healing process before having yet another realization. (You seem to be having a lot of those today.)

I can just Force-heal. Before, you couldn’t Force-heal because it would look suspicious if something healed too fast. But now that they know, you don’t have to solely depend on medical supplies anymore.

Tech, as always, is right on cue. “Is your hand alright? For you to render Bane unconscious must have been no easy feat. Not to mention that according to the medscan I just took, you have a mild concussion, most likely due to your fall. I can run a medical diagnostic test to start and then run more specific tests to combat your pain...” Tech mutters the last part to himself, brain running light years faster than his mouth as his fingers fly over the datapad.

You debate it for a moment before nodding. “That would be great, Tech–thanks. But right now, I’m exhausted, so I’m going to go and crash in my bunk. Wake me up if I need to punch someone again,” you joke before shuffling away from your squadmates. You ruffle Omega’s hair affectionately as you pass by her and pick up your blaster from the ground before climbing down the ladder. You don’t notice Hunter’s troubled gaze or how his Force signature sours a bit as you leave.

You quickly clean up and throw on some bacta patches on a few nasty bruises. You sit down on your bed and pull the privacy curtain before deciding to open up your secret compartment next to your mattress. You stare down at the objects, the only things you have left as a reminder of the past. You reach down for one of them, about to touch it when you stop.

You shake your head and shut the drawer. Deciding to finally, finally hit the hay, you’re out like a light as soon as your head hits the pillow. Dealing with the Force and healing yourself could be done later. Not even your constant pain and crippling worry about your family friends could keep you up any longer.

please consider reblogging! it really helps me and is super encouraging ^_^

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sxfik · 3 years

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Hey hey, I'm here with a chayenzo ask! Could you possibly write vincenzo kissing cha young to stop her from teasing him about the mafia (like she did in the ep when she found out)? Thanks in advance!!

her lips are like the galaxy's edge (her kiss, the color of a constellation)

read on ao3 • masterlist

summary: “If I don’t what, Mr. Mafia?” she cut him off, smirking up at him, challenging him to push back. But he did something unexpected.

a/n: thank you so much for requesting this anon! i combined this with another idea i had so i really hope this turned out well! my head was really full with this idea so i literally speed ran my essay so i could write this. as always, i hope you enjoy :D

“Vincenzo Quasano: Mafia Lawyer!” Cha-young exclaims as she skips down the pavement, the sunny and infectious weather fueling her weightless laughter. She tilted her head towards Vincenzo, her charming and ever-cool partner, and paused, waiting for him to catch up. Fighting Babel was a constant weight on their shoulders, but Cha-young knew her incessant remarks and teasing would spur the handsome lawyer into pushing off his plotting and spar with her. Cha-young didn’t know about him, but the less she thought about Babel, the less the guilt hung over her shoulders. Not to mention, the more she sparred with him, the more her body thrummed with an energy to keep testing how far she could push.

Vincenzo’s carefully constructed expression stayed neutral as ever, but the crease between his eyebrows and the slight pursing of his lips told everything she needed to know. He also dealt her his classic glare, but she paid it no attention. Pushing people’s buttons is always fun, but Vincenzo ignited a fuel in her to press every single one at once, like a kid in an elevator.

“Ah, how lucky I am to have a cutthroat mafia lawyer in my life!” Cha-young sang, as she shimmied and sashayed her way forward, Vincenzo right by her side. Right at that moment, some kid shot her a dirty look as he walked the opposite way, popsicle in hand. The audacity of this kid. On an impulse, she stuck her tongue out at him as he passed by. That ought to show him. She smirked as the kid skewed his path to stay as far away as possible. Victory! As she turned her head towards Vincenzo, she noticed the incredulous look on his face.

“Kids these days. So disrespectful.” she tutted, grinning at him like she did nothing wrong. He, in classic cool guy fashion huffed at her antics, but she saw the smile on his face. That can’t do at all.

“Ah is Mr. Mafia afraid of being embarrassed by me? Aren’t mafia men brave? Surely, they aren’t swayed so easily, are they?” she quipped, increasing her volume with each passing word.

“Ms. Hong, please-” he gritted out, his face hardening into annoyance. There it is.

“Please?” she taunted back pushing her face closer, finally getting the reaction she really wanted.

“Ms. Hong if you don’t-”

“If I don’t what, Mr. Mafia?” she cut him off, smirking up at him, challenging him to push back. But he did something unexpected. He paused in his path, his hand closing into a fist and his eyes squeezing shut. Cha-young pivoted to face him, but before she could ask why, his hand shot out and pulled her wrist towards him as he walked into the alleyway.

She stumbled behind him into the alleyway, and Vincenzo started muttering something under his breath. How could he insult me when I can’t even hear what he’s saying! As his incessant muttering became louder, he started pacing back and forth, his hand gestures getting more exaggerated. That was certainly not Korean. It was Italian. Admittedly, Vincenzo speaking to her in Italian got her blood racing but it also irked her to no end.

Cha-young crossed her arms as she stood, her back facing the grimey walls of the small corridor he stuffed them into. She could barely breathe without smelling his intoxicating cologne, the smell that engulfed her whenever she embraced him. The scent that followed her into her dreams.

“Hong Cha-Young, you-” he spun to face her, pausing his pacing and shaking his finger at her before he delved into incoherent italian.

Cha-young sighed, schooling her face into a bored expression that she hoped would goad him into coming closer and closer. “What did I do Mr. Cassano? Aw, is the mafia lawyer agitated?” she taunted further, tilting her head mockingly.

He spun towards her. And then froze.

“Come puoi essere la donna più intrigante e al tempo stesso più esasperante che abbia mai incontrato? Hong Cha-Young, mia cara, hai idea di quanto mi fai impazzire?” he asked, as he stepped closer to her, slow like a predator stalking his prey.

“È tutta colpa tua. Il tipo di sogni con cui sono stato tormentato da quando ti ho incontrato,” his voice dropped lower, “Essere impigliato con te è qualcosa che non posso permettermi. Eppure, le tue labbra. Le tue dannate labbra rosse perseguitano ogni mio pensiero al risveglio.” By the end of his cursings, his face neared hers. All she fixated on was his burning anger and proximity and how deliciously intoxicating it was. Her body itched to step back, to calm her racing heart, but she wouldn’t let him win so easily.

She stepped closer, tilting her face up until she looked directly into his molton brown eyes. But as she opens her mouth to push him further, Vincenzo crashes into her as he tangles his hand into her hair and pulls her into a kiss. His lips are soft when they meet hers, just as she had dreamt, but his mouth demands more, more, more. He backs her against the wall, one hand threaded through her hair cushioning her head as the other settles on her waist.

Cha-young tugs against his tie, pulling him closer until his body is fully pressed and she can feel the heat of his body against hers. Her other hand roams his torso and his back, attempting to memorize the feel of his body.

They continue, their mouths moving in tandem with one another, each other’s fire threatening to engulf the other. As she breaks away for a breath, he pulls her back into an even more bruising kiss. Cha-young felt her whole body burn for him as his tongue brushed across her bottom lip, teasing her into kissing harder, giving more.

His hand tugs on her hair as he breaks away from her lips, tilting her head to expose her neck, and moving his attention towards her jaw and the soft skin of her neck. Cha-young gasps as he nibbles and kisses down her throat, each one more bruising than the next. Her every sense, every thought was flooded with how his body felt, how his warmth spread against hers, how intoxicating he smelled and how each groan he let out drove her insane with need.

“If I knew this was all it took to shut you up, I would have done it a long time ago.” he taunted her, his voice just a whisper. He pulled away from her, leaving her breathless against the wall and looking at his smirking face. His eyes were still dark, the fire still burning within them, but as her gaze dropped down to his lips and back up, there was something new in his eyes. Something soft. Something... more terrifying.

But as quickly as it appeared, she watched it vanish off his eyes, and his face hardened back into the mask. He steps away from her as if it hurt to look at her, his hands smoothening his shirt and fixing his tie. Without sparing her another glance, Cha-young watches as Vincenzo walks away from her, and back into the pavement. Is it so easy for him to walk away from me, even after what we’ve done?

Her thoughts are scrambled, replying the moment before as she pushes the hurt away. He’s just a momentary distraction. People have walked away from her before, and he’s no different. She shuts her eyes, in a futile attempt to center herself, before she walks away from the haven the alleyway offered.

a/n: here are the italian translations:

“How can you be the most intriguing yet the most infuriating woman i've ever met? Hong Cha-Young, my dear, do you have any idea how crazy you drive me?”

“It's all your fault. The kinds of dreams i've been plagued with since i've met you.”

“Being tangled up with you is something I can't afford. And yet, your lips. Your damned red lips haunt my every waking thought.”

#vincenzo #vincenzo kdrama #vincenzo cassano #hong cha young #song joong ki #jeon yeo bin #chayenzo #vinyoung #vincenzo x cha young #cha young x vincenzo #cha young would totally fight a kid you cannot change my mind #and vincenzo speaking italian is way too hot #mine

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obwjam · 3 years

Text

stowaway (bad batch x tiny)

this piece is titled: the bad batch s1e1 “aftermath” except instead of omega it’s a tiny who was a stowaway on their ship from kaller and they discover her on the way back to kamino and now they have to hide her from everyone

(bad batch spoilers included so if you care pls watch the ep before reading!)

———————————————————————

Truth be told, Jara was just as confused as the rest of them.

It was nothing atypical. Battle droids on one side, clones and Jedi on the other, all screaming and firing blasters and blowing everything to hell. Though tinies were often isolated from everything, the Clone War was the exception.

Which is why it was time for her to leave. Again.

She had already lost countless friends and family throughout her life with no massive conflict in her backyard. At this point, she just had to look out for herself; not to mention the horror stories of what happened to tinies when captured by the Separatists were at the forefront of her mind. So when she found an empty ship in the woods, she smuggled herself inside and went about observing the place. There were unopened rations and some rather awful-smelling clothes scattered about, which told her that this ship was definitely not abandoned or out of commission. There were no droids, either, so she had to assume it was a Republic ship. Perfect. Wherever it stopped at next, she would sneak off and see if she could find some other tinies to settle with for a while.

Just her luck that the clones who owned this ship were, well… these guys.

“Whatever’s happening here, I don’t like it.”

She gasped and ducked behind an object on the table when she heard the voice.

“Best not to worry about it until we get back home. Plotting coordinates now.”

She cautiously leaned out from behind the object to get a better look. There were five people -- clones, she inferred from the armor, but they didn’t really look alike at all. One with goggles was piloting the ship, while a bulky one with a big scar was slumped over in the chair adjacent to him. The other three were exchanging distressed looks between themselves and the floor.

“How long’s it gonna take?!” the bulky one groaned, throwing his hands up in the air. She flinched.

“Wrecker, please.” This one had long hair and a tattoo covering half his face. “Just relax a little.”

“Maybe you can relax, Hunter, but I wanna keep fightin’!” Okay. He was Hunter, and he was Wrecker. Not exactly the type of names you’d want to make enemies with.

“Hunter’s right. We could all use a breather after… well, after what just happened back there.” This one was pale and had a bunch of cybernetic attachments on his head. Ick.

“Hmph.” The last remaining clone, who had grey hair and a toothpick hanging from the corner of his mouth, grunted in displeasure. Hunter didn’t seem to like that.

“Got somethin’ to say, Crosshair?”

Crosshair folded his arms and didn’t say a word.

It was a fairly short, uneventful ride. The group mostly sat in silence, occasionally sharing a thought or two as they saw fit. There seemed to be a bit of tension, though, as Hunter and Crosshair kept exchanging pointed glances.

There was an uncomfortable lurch as the ship dropped out of hyperspace. Jara yelped and stumbled forward, but nobody noticed.

“We’re coming up on Kamino,” the pilot said. Hmm. Kamino. She had never heard of it.

“It’s good to be home,” Wrecker sighed from the passenger chair. “How long has it been?”

“One hundred and eighty rotations in a standard cycle…” the pilot started, and that was when Jara zoned out again. He sure had a penchant for droning on and on.

“You sure that padawan died when he fell?”

Her stomach dropped as she snapped back to attention. Wait, padawan? Died? Why did they need to make sure a Jedi was dead?

“Sure I’m sure. Why?”

“Well, usually when someone falls, you look down, not… across… uh, what is that?”

She froze. Even through the helmet, she knew Crosshair was staring right at her. She could tell because she couldn’t stop staring right back at him. Her mind told her to run, but her legs wouldn’t respond. She thought she was hidden -- only a little bit of her was poking out from behind the object she had settled down behind. But all it took was one passing glance for Crosshair to spot her. She was practically pinned down by his gaze as the others, minus the one piloting the ship, followed his stare to where she stood, shaking.

“What’s what? I don’t see anything,” Wrecker whined, standing up. She gulped. He was huge.

“There,” said the pale one, robotic arm pointing right at her. “Behind one of Tech’s… things.” Even through her terror, she managed to sniff a laugh. Tech is a ridiculous name.

Wrecker tilted his head and squinted, but it didn’t take long to find her. “Oh. Oh. Woah…”

“Don’t,” Hunter warned. He stuck his arm out in Wrecker’s direction as he inched closer to the strange, cowering girl in front of him. “We don’t know what it is.”

“What what is?” came the voice of Tech from the cockpit. He quickly set the ship to autopilot before excitedly bounding to where the other four were standing to see what was going on. “What are we looking at?”

“On the table,” Crosshair muttered. His piercing gaze didn’t waver for a moment. Her eyes flickered over to Tech, whose own eyes were wide as he finally saw her. He reached for his tablet and furiously began typing into it.

“It’s… it’s a tiny,” he said matter-of-factly.

“Yeah, we can see it’s tiny,” Wrecker frowned.

“No, Wrecker,” Tech shook his head. “That’s what their species is called. They’re a… a race of miniature humanoid beings that inhabit thousands of planets across the galaxy.”

“Oh…” Wrecker was at a loss for words. Never in his entire life had he seen something so small. So vulnerable. He took a few cautious steps, and Hunter grimaced at the way she seemed to shrink back as he approached.

“Come on, Wrecker, don’t get too close.”

“Why not? I can barely see the little guy!”

“Girl.”

“What?”

“I… I think it’s a she,” Tech said, his goggles whirring as they analyzed her.

“Does she speak basic?” the pale one asked. He couldn’t take his eyes off her, either.

“I’m… not sure. There’s not really too much data here… height ranges anywhere from two to five inches… there have been some documented cases of tinies living well over 100 years…”

“If they’re all over the galaxy, why have we never seen one before?” Hunter posited, trying to keep his voice low. She clenched her jaw every time one of them spoke.

“...And why is this one on our ship?” Crosshair asked pointedly, narrowing his eyes. Her stomach began to turn.

“Why don’t we just ask?” Wrecker proposed. Hunter and the pale one exchanged an uncomfortable glance, but Wrecker didn’t wait for permission. He closed the gap between him and the table and took a knee.

Her grip tightened on the object as she craned her neck upward. Even when he leaned down, he still towered over her.

“What’s your name, little guy?” he practically yelled at her, making her wince and look away.

“Wrecker, can’t you see she’s terrified?” Hunter groused.

Crosshair rolled his eyes. He didn’t feel right about this “tiny” being on their ship. For all they knew, she was a Separatist spy. “Enough of this,” he grumbled. He lunged forward with an outstretched hand, ready to get to the bottom of his, but stopped short of her when she pulled out a weapon, pointing it at them with shaking hands.

“DON’T!” she yelled, stunning the five clones in front of her. They were not expecting to hear her voice, much less see her unsheathe a sword that had no chance of harming anyone. “I--I’m sorry, I--I just needed to get off Kaller, please, I wasn’t going to -- I wasn’t gonna take anything, I swear! Just -- just stay back!”

She couldn’t believe this. She had never been seen before. Not once in her entire life. And here she was, finally able to escape that wretched cold planet and start a new life, and now she was going to be caged and sold on the black market like every other tiny was when they were discovered. Or maybe these weird clones would keep her as a prize.

Hunter blinked. Her tiny little sword was adorable, and there was no way it would ever make a dent in any of them. But he at least admired her ability to stand her ground. He couldn’t blame her, either -- being stared down by five enhanced clones had to be nothing less than horrifying to someone so small.

“Hey, relax… we’re not gonna hurt you,” Hunter said calmly, holding up his hands. “We just want to know who you are and what you’re doing on our ship.”

It took her a moment to stabilize her breathing, but she was able to gather enough strength to wipe away the tears she barely even realized had formed in her eyes and fully take in the giant in front of her. He was certainly terrifying by virtue of the fact that he was leaning so close to her, but the curiosity in his eyes… the way his mouth hung slightly agape… the softness of his expression… he was just confused. It was the same look she was giving him.

“I… I--I’m sorry,” she stammered. “I just... I had nowhere else to go…”

“Were you running from the Seps?” the pale one chimed in.

She shrugged. “I was running from the war.”

“Is Kaller your home planet?” Tech asked, popping into view behind Hunter.

She shook her head. “I’ve been planet-hopping my whole life. I’ve just been on Kaller for a really long time. I’m not really sure where I’m from.”

“Hey, you never answered my question!” Wrecker cried, cutting off Tech, who was preparing to ask a follow-up question. “What’s your name?”

“My name’s Jara,” she said, voice quavering. Wrecker’s eyes lit up when she spoke -- he was just happy she was addressing him. “I, uh. I know all your names,” she managed to say. “Except you.”

The pale one was taken aback. “Um. I-I’m Echo.”

“Echo,” she repeated. That was nothing like the other four names.

“If you just stumbled upon our ship, how do you know our names?” Crosshair asked, eyebrows raised as he dared to lean in closer.

She let out a nervous laugh. “You-- you all said each other’s names in conversation. I just connected the dots.”

“Hm.” Crosshair wasn’t sure if he believed that.

“Lighten up, Crosshair,” Hunter grumbled. “She’s obviously not a threat.”

“That we know of.”

“Well actually, according to this data, tinies appear to be a peaceful, primitive people,” Tech said. “They have little to no means to inflict any meaningful damage upon us or anyone else.”

Jara scrunched her face up and glared at Tech. “Yeah, well, you don’t need to say it like that,” she mumbled. She was surprised when Hunter snickered.

“So you really came to our ship just to flee your planet?” Wrecker asked in a rare moment of calmness. He couldn’t stop staring at this tiny girl -- he was surprised she even managed to stay alive long enough to find someplace to hide. But now that she was here, well, he felt as if it was his responsibility to keep her safe. Even the smallest of creatures could be deadly to her.

“Yeah,” she said, taking a few shaky steps forward. “I--I just needed to get somewhere safe, that’s all. Maybe find some more tinies. I was going to leave right when you landed somewhere, honest.”

“Well, there certainly won’t be any tinies where we’re going,” Tech scoffed.

“...where are we going?” she dared to ask.

“Kamino. Our home planet.”

“More like a factory than a home,” Hunter mumbled. Jara stiffened. That did not sound like a place she wanted to be.

“There is no we here,” Crosshair scolded, glancing around at his brothers. “There is no place for you there, tiny. It’s just the clones and the Kaminoans. You wouldn’t even survive the night.” He paused, taking in the looks of apprehension from everyone. “What? We’re not seriously going to take her with us, are we?”

Hunter grimaced and shot Jara a look that said sorry about him. After a few beats of uncomfortable silence, Tech spoke up.

“...maybe just until we get sent on another mission,” he said, uncharacteristically meek. “I mean, there are so many questions I want to ask. This could be our only chance to gather data.”

Jara rolled her eyes. “Gee, thanks.”

“What are we gonna do, Crosshair, make her stay on the ship? There’s nowhere else for her to go.”

“She should have never been here in the first place,” Crosshair mumbled, clearly outnumbered in his opinion.

“But she is. And she was just trying to save herself,” Echo added. “There’s nothing wrong with that. I say we help her while we can.”

“Wrecker? What do you think?” Hunter asked, turning to the largest clone. He had been strangely quiet for the last few minutes.

“Huh? Uh, yeah, yeah. We should help,” he stumbled. “I don’t see anythin’ wrong with that.”

A loud beep echoed from the cockpit, prompting Tech to shoot up from his seat. “Strap in, boys. And, uh, girl. We’re coming in for a landing.”

Jara stood awkwardly, unsure of what to do, until a giant hand was placed at her side. She yelped.

“Climb on, kid,” said Hunter, fully aware of how spooked Jara looked. “I’ve gotta hide you somewhere.”

“She can hide with me,” Tech piped up from the front. “I have some space in my belt.”

“You okay with that?” Hunter asked. Jara’s glance shifted from Hunter’s face to his hand to Wrecker and back to Hunter.

“Um. Sure,” she said weakly. “I don’t have much of a choice, do I?”

“Nope!” Wrecker beamed. “Unless you want the entire clone army to know you’re here!”

“...The belt sounds wonderful.”

“Good.” Hunter stayed patient as Jara gathered up the courage to willingly climb onto a human hand. She took a few deep breaths and clenched her fists before shutting her eyes and leaping up to his palm in one try. Hunter sniffed a laugh.

“I’ll go slow,” he said, gently standing up and taking careful strides toward Tech. Jara tried her best to stay still, but Hunter could both feel her tension and her trembles. Once the ship was parked, Tech flipped open the flap to one of his belt pockets. Jara grabbed onto Hunter’s thumb when he lowered his hand down and hesitated for a brief moment before climbing into the pocket. Everyone was watching her, and she didn’t like it.

It was hard to hear what was going on outside, but as the group made their way through the hangar and back to their barrack, she was barely able to make out the words “Grievous”, “defeated” and “over”. Did that mean what she thought it meant?

Light flooded her vision once again when Tech’s giant hand snapped open the pocket. Without really thinking, he reached down and scooped her up, causing Jara to yelp and grab onto one of Tech’s fingers for dear life as she was pulled up at a breakneck speed.

“Oh. Sorry,” Tech blushed upon seeing her sickened face. The way she was clinging onto him was nothing short of adorable. “Guess that was a bit sudden.”

“A warning next time would be *hic* nice,” Jara groaned. “Oh, stars. This place smells worse than the ship.”

“Told you,” Crosshair grinned, nudging a sad-looking Wrecker.

Echo leaned down. “You’ll get used to it.”

Jara gave a weak smile before turning her attention to Tech, who was beaming down at her. Sitting in his hand, she really had no choice but to endure his questions.

“So, goggles. What do you wanna know?” she asked, knowing such a question would make Tech explode. And it did. Even Hunter was starting to get sick of it after Tech had asked every question and written down every note he possibly could.

“What about special skills? Do you have heightened agility, superb senses? Anything like that?”

Jara shrugged. “I mean, maybe. I dunno. I don’t really know what’s… normal.”

“Hmm…” Tech wrote her answer down word-for-word. “What if we tried--”

Across the room, Wrecker had finally lost it. “Ugh, can somebody shut him up?! I can’t take it anymore!”

“Of course you wouldn’t understand the importance of--”

“--I think he’s right, Tech,” Hunter jumped in. “You should give her a break.”

“And give us a break,” Crosshair mumbled to himself.

“I-it’s okay,” Jara interjected. The last thing she wanted was to become the center of another conflict. “You can ask me more stuff later. I don’t mind, really.”

“Later…” Tech repeated. “So, what? Are we going to keep you?”

“Keep--keep me?” Jara gulped, her eyes flying wide.

“I think he means let you stay here with us for a little longer than a night,” Hunter said. “Right?”

“Well, since we have to go to that meeting soon, and then who knows what we’ll be asked to do after, I just assumed she meant she would be staying with us for a while, considering there are multiple tests I need to run now. Not to mention all the questions I’ll surely have after that.” Tech paused, giving a look of hurt to the group. “I thought that was obvious?”

“Tech, come on, you’re freaking her out!” Echo cried. He was right. At the mere mention of the word test, Jara had tensed up again. “Can we even do that? Actually harbor a stowaway with us?”

“It’s definitely against regulations,” Hunter mused.

“...so we gotta do it, right?” Wrecker jumped in with a big grin. “I mean, come on! She has a tiny sword! That’s awesome!”

“Well, I guess that’s up to her,” Hunter smiled, turning his attention back to Jara. Her gaze was bouncing back and forth between all five clones, though it was obvious to Hunter that she was trying to avoid looking at Crosshair. “Whadda ya say? Do you wanna lay low with us for a while?��

“You really mean that?” she asked, overtly aware of the fact that this could be a trap. After all, it was clear one of them didn’t like her. But the others… Tech was overzealous, sure, but he was earnest in his curiosity and desire to simply know more about her. Echo was definitely reserved, but seemed to be just as concerned for her as the others. Wrecker was just a big ol’ kid. He seemed to like her just fine. And Hunter… well, Hunter couldn’t keep his eyes off her. He was rational. She knew he believed her story, however unbelievable it may be.

Hunter nodded. “Yeah, I do. I can’t guarantee anything, but we’ll try and keep you safe until we can find you a better place to live. I should warn you, though. Our squad’s nothing but trouble. It might get dangerous.”

“The only thing I’ve ever known is danger,” she shrugged. “And I’ve stayed alive this long.”

Wrecker let out a bellowing laugh. Even though it shattered her eardrums, she couldn’t help but smile back. “Ha! I like her!”

Jara didn’t say it, but in that moment, everyone seemed to pick up on it. She liked them too.

#i dont really like the way this turned out lmao but i wanted to post it anyway #cause i made a commitment!#i've got some anakin and obi-wan content coming the next couple days #and i wanna save one more bad batch piece for friday when we get ep 2 #i just need to get back into the writing spirit it's really been a while since i've felt comfortable??#ugh anyway watch bad batch it slaps #wrecker is my new fave he is just such a big goof #star wars g/t #g/t #obwrites

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sweetescapeartist · 3 years

Text

DBS COLORING BOOK CHAPTER 73 REVIEW

Alright... let's do this.

The first 4 pages are good. Good flow, not too many pages, no dialogue (thank God). Page 5 is where the paneling gets unnecessary. The last 2 panels aren't needed.

Page 6 is absolutely stupid. Goku & Granolah are flying at extremely high speeds, Goku is firing ki blasts that are moving at a higher velocity than he is currently moving, Granolah moves even faster in order to dodge Goku's ki blasts, then Granolah is using his scarf that is wrapped around a tree to swing around the tree & get behind Goku... A SCARF.

The scarf would tear apart instantly if Granolah tried to use it to catapult/swing himself around faster than Goku can perceive.

YOU: "The scarf is probably really strong tho!"

Sure let's assume that. In that case, the tree would be uprooted from the velocity Granolah is moving. Either way, it doesn't make sense. If this was early Dragon Ball and Yamcha did something like this when fighting Goku, then yeah it would be reasonable and look cool. With the power these characters are at now, it just looks ridiculous and inconvenient. It doesn't work here. Granolah could've easily dodged on his own and much faster that wraping his scarf around the tree.

So Granolah swings around and kicks Goku through tons of trees. (Saiyans killed his ppl but Granolah is killing his planet. Ironic)

Hey look! Another stupid page 😒

Page 7. Goku got sent flying back at a speed capable of easily cutting through tons of trees, but he slows himself down by grabbing a branch & swinging around it? Why? Again, at that speed, Goku would yank the limb of the tree clean off or uproot the entire tree. That wouldn't slow down his speed. He would be better off just stopping in the air on his own as if he applied the emergency breaks. Characters have done that plenty of times. Again, stuff like swinging around trees and tree branches is stuff they would had done in OG Dragon Ball.

Why is Goku blocking like that?? He isn't reinforcing his arm, he's holding his wrist whole his forearm gets punched. That would damage his arm and/or wrist.

*Boom boom! Bam bam!* They hit each other some. But are you ready for this? Pages 11-12...!

Why did Goku yell as if he is transforming? He is using Ultra Instinct, right? You don't yell to power that up. Remember the Moro arc? He calmly breathes to go into the state. Remember the chapter before? He calmly closes his eyes to focus. Why is he yelling then tapping into UI? Because Toyotaro can't write consistently. This page was...! just dumb...

Also... What is this SSB with Ultra Instinct then? You remember the SSB aura around UI Omen in the Moro arc? What's the difference between "Blue plus Ultra Instinct" & "Ultra Instinct plus Blue?"

Granolah says he can read Goku's blood flow and cell movements. That should come in handy later when he could potentially find a weakeness in Goku using UI. Hopefully Goku doesn't tell him he can't stay in the form too long. 🤞

SSB with UI is more focused that lower forms in combination with UI. Goku should be nearly untouchable. Pages 13 - 14 show how well Goku can dodge. Looks like ballet in a way, like Goku us dancing around him. I like that. Then he uses a point blank Kamehameha. Looks cool. But it turns out that Granolah simultaneously hit Goku somehow. Not a complaint here.

Pointless panels of Oil being blown back by the force. Pointless panels of Vegeta not paying attention to the fight and looking around. Pointless 2 panels of smoke clearing away. The entire page doesn't add anything at all. Page 17 could be omitted & it would flow better.

Goku is on the ground for the... 3rd time in this battle? I wish it would at least have Granolah say he didn't realize how difficult UI with SSB would be for him, but he barely saw an opening. That would be some sort of respect for Goku and did some clever foreshadowing. But we get Granolah insulting Goku instead. Whatever.

This "vital points" nonsense is so stupid. Everyone in DB has nearly identical vital points. Majin Vegeta knocked Trunks out by chopping at his vital point. These characters know what vital points are and know them well as we have seen when they were in combat since early DB. Granolah should be saying "My right eye will always find an opening." But maybe its a translation error or something. I won't be too harsh about this one.

Wait wait wait. Lemme get this straight...

Whis trained Goku, then Goku is able to use UI in the ToP.

Merus trains Goku to use UI Omen at will.

Goku later masters UI with silver hair.

Whis points out new flaws that didn't exist then trains Goku even further.

Goku has been trained by 2 Angels to the point of being able to go into Mastered UI at will and recieved further training after mastering the Angelic power. How is it that Goku has the gull to say "No, Ultra Instinct should have no weaknesses. If anything's lacking, it's gotta be my training."

And he's telling Granolah that he is vulnerable for some reason...? He's just foreshadowing for the reader that he will lose. The last 4 or 5 panels of page 19 isn't needed.

Whatever. Let's move on. So on page 20, for some reason, Goku has a confused look & a question mark in his speech bubble after Granolah blames Saiyans for killing his ppl. Maybe Goku doesn't understamd why Granolah is repeating himself for the 3rd or 4th time? Or he wasn't listening the earlier times. Can't blame him. Granolah's speeches bored me too.

Granolah copies Moro & makes lava rise from the core of his beloved home planet in order ro hurt Goku. Poor Sugarians. I wonder if there will be a "You're becoming the bad guy now, Granolah." type of story. Dont really care though. Goku escapes by teleporting. He mentions how Granolah has Moro's move. I guess Granolah is supposed to be like Cell and have others techniques... like Moro before him... They are both altered copies of Cell who is much cooler than both of them combined...

Well, here they are making Vegeta look capable (somehow?). Also its interesting that the bloodthirsty Granolah is allowing Goku & Vegeta to chat about their discovery of who his ppl are. The the ex-detective Vegeta quickly figures out that Maki & Oil fooled them. That was rushed. "But Vegeta was suspicious of them before." Yes, but there was no reason or anything we heard that would make Vegeta suspicious. The writing is bad. Also it's convenient that Oil has a drone all of the sudden to eavesdrop. The last 4 panels of page 24 are pointless.

GOKU: "Hey let's talk to him and clear things up."

VEGETA: "Nah. He's probably too stubborn. Just fight to move the story along instead."

Goku says he hasn't used his full power yet & Vegeta is surprised. How does Vegeta not realize Goku hasn't used his full power, Mastred UI? Then Vegeta says "Tch... Gotta resort to that in the end, huh?" Toyotaro is having Vegeta downplay UI in order to hype up Vegeta's fight next chapter. Bad writing. There's better ways to hype Vegeta up. Toyo chose one of the worst ways to do so.

Granolah... Just standing and waiting for Goku to come back. What a patient revenge fueled man.

UI Goku through the fog looked cool. (And his wounds heal? Ok...) But, seeing that made me realize something else. It would be much cooler if it went from page 22 then skip to page 26!

We don't need Goku & Vegeta chatting. The reveal of UI would not have had a pace breaker. It just happens & you see that Goku is serious now. Show don't tell.

GRANOLAH: "I can't perceive... any vital points?!"

That sounds stupid, so I do think it is a translation error.

GRANOLAH: "I can't perceive... any openings?!"

Now that reads much better! (I also edited the dialogue to "openings" in the pic above.)

Great... Goku conveniently exposed a weakness in UI that Whis had conveniently made up in CH 71. Although, in CH 59 Whis said that Mastered UI doesnt have the stamina issue that UI Omen has. Then in CH 64 it shows that the stamina issue is gone with Mastered UI during the 3 chapter battle with Moro. Goku never looked fatigued or weak in this form. Only time the form went away is when "planet" Moro drained Goku of his energy.

But now Goku & Whis say otherwise. How suddenly contradictory. Page 26 of this current chapter (CH 73) would be better if the last 2 panels were omitted.

Mastsred UI Goku easily takes down Moro- I mean Granolah. Also Goku tries to chat now after attacking Granolah. Should've said something before you start kicking ppl in the face. But this is shown to prove Vegeta is right about not being able to reason with Granolah. Even if it makes no sense.

Cool dodging & aikido type movement from Goku.

Goku using "the force" & stopping Granolah's movements was cool. Reminded me of Goku doing something similar to Broly in the DBS movie. Or more similarly, like Zamasu did in the manga.

I guess Toyotaro is suggesting that the quick flurry of punches is a Master UI kind of move. (Although it originated in the anime when UI Omen Goku was punching back against Jiren & when he did so to block attacks from Jiren in EP 129.) I hope this move isn't over used that it ends up losing its flare.

Vegeta pretends to be upset that Goku defeated Granolah while in the previous chapter, Vegeta told Goku to fight first.

Somehow Vegeta is able to sense that there are 2 Granolahs. You can say because he has spirit control, but Goku has been through that kind of training with Roshi, Kami, & King Kai (possibly some with the Yardrats too which helped him control Super Saiyan at the level he could). And with Instant Transmission, Goku must be an expert in detecting ki. He can feel ki in different realms and locate ppl from far across the galaxy Goku should sense this too. All this writing is doing is trying to make Vegeta appear as the more capable fighter & get Vegeta fans hype for his next battle. That's all.

The switcheroo (I think I used that wrong) of a fake Granolah was a kinda clever idea. But Goku not knowing what "split" means is asinine.

Goku literally says "Split...? What's that mean?"

Goku has seen firsthand when Tien split into multiple Tiens, Goku knows the Yardrats can split themselves into many ppl, he saw merged Zamasu split himself, & he saw Moro split himself. Why is he written so stupid? I need answers Toyo.

Page 40....

HOW IN THE HECK did Mastered UI get caught off guard?! Ain't it supposed to automatically grow sturdier as necessary?! Boy oh boy, this writing... A positive is that the punch looks like the 1 inch punch Goku did to Golden Freeza (inspired by the legendary Bruce Lee).

So if actual Granolah is twice as strong and can one shots UI Goku... Vegeta doesn't stand a chance. But the bad writing will make a way for Vegeta to look somewhat capable.

Granolah says UI becomes less sharp over time. Only problem is that Goku fought longer against Moro. This fight of UI Goku should have been longer. If the fight was longer when in the UI "transformation" then I would be more generous about Granolah finding an opening. Speaking of openings, Granolah says "opening" instead of "vital point." Must be a translation error.

Goku is in a near death-like state and Vegeta is like

VEGETA: "Leave that fool alone. Fight me instead."

Vegeta threatening Granolah is either stupid or smart. Smart = Vegeta provoking Granolah to get an advantage mentally. Dumb = Vegeta reverting to his Cell saga overconfidence that Toyo always does.

IN CONCLUSION:

STILL NO IMAGE OF FREEZA... I guess he isnt that important to the story after all. And this storytelling is so bad because Toyo can't stay consistent at all, he doesn't understand the characters, & he can't come up with anything besides "this form also drains stamina." You can say he & Toriyama write this together but I doubt it. Toriyama corrects his art & just gives the story a pass.

Recently it seems that Toriyama is more interested in the DBS movies being produced. Toriyama just writes an outline, Toyotaro & Toei write their versions of the story around that, Toriyama corrects Toyotaro's art & Toriyama also corrects or adds to what Toei thinks up. Example being when Toei created Kale & Toriyama created Caulifla in response.

I'm not excited for the next chapter. I don't care what Vegeta does. How is Vegeta going to win against someone who one shotted Goku in UI. Either the writing will be kinda smart or just plain stupid. I'm expecting stupid.

Idk if I'll review the next chapters. The bad writing was too much for me. I wrote this review last month right 1 day after the chapter came out, but I didnt want to read the manga again to get the images I need for this review. So I put it off for almost 1 month.

I wanna take a break from this bad manga...

#dragon ball #dragon ball super #dbs #dbs manga #dbs manga chapter 73 #review #Goku #Vegeta #Granolah

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