Same anon who just asked about why you placed Adrien as a 7 instead of a 2, only to look deeper in the reblogs of your ML enneagram post and see you already answered it haha!

In friendly defense of 2!Adrien, I’d argue that his reactions to being stressed coming off as more of a 7 rather than a 2 is actually a perfect reflection of the effects of his abuse; it’s fear that drives his non-confrontation tendencies rather his own nature. I think Risk highlighted that a bit in revealing how Adrien does desire confrontation, even if he doesn’t act on it.

(I have always found it interesting to consider the role that trauma/neurodivergency plays in shaping a character’s personality, since it’s one of the flaws I feel most personality assessments can’t really account for.)

I also think Chat’s arguments with LB were more like to be confrontational than avoidant (thinking of the times he’s called her out and his romantic pursuit being the primary indicators), up until she became the Guardian. So then with S4, I’d consider it to be a gradual relationship shift that leads to Chat no longer feeling safe and secure enough in his position to confront her the way he once did, which is why he only tries a bit in Kuro Neko before running, and then doesn’t try at all in Strikeback.

I hope this doesn’t come off as too preachy or anything, just wanted to share my 2¢! Cause either way you slice it, your Adrien has always been brilliantly written and incredibly in-character to me, so you’ve clearly got a rock solid understanding of his character. ❤️

hello november anon and sorry for the delay! thank you so much for the ask and also for going back and looking through my prev posts. you know my teacher heart loves it when you do the readings! 😌 also you're definitely not the only one who believes adrien is a 2 rather than a 7! and while i know there are good arguments for both sides, i'll explain in depth my position on adrien's personality.

part 1 of the ask:

so here are the reasons i think adrien IS an enneagram type 7

adrien's motivation seems like that of a 7 to me: he wants to experience everything and be satisfied in every way he can. if he had a disney princess "i want" song, it would be "i want to go to school, i want to make friends, i want adventure in the great wide somewhere., i want to have fun."

the literal first shot of him in the show (if we use origins as a starting point) is adrien running away. nathalie asks him to please reconsider, he knows what his father wants, and adrien says, "but this is what i want to do." according to the enneagram institute, "sevens do not see themselves as the center of a community or family, but as members of a free-floating band of fellow adventurers whose own enjoyment is enhanced by being with others." going to school and having a new experience with new people is what's going to enhance adrien's enjoyment of life - not being the center of his family unit or the apple of his father's eye.

a 2's motivation would be to be as loved as possible and to make themselves neeed by those they most care about. while adrien definitely shows a desire to be loved and needed, especially by ladybug, i think his primary desire is for experience, and it's this from which all his actions- not just characteristics - are based. take for example his reaction to getting his miraculous vs marinette's (also in origins):

adrien is excited and intrigued and ready to go, as a 7 would be when offered a new experience - and a new way to satisfy their desire to try everything. marinette, as a 1, is quite the opposite: she is being put in a situation where she must do something right or fail, and therefore is stressed tf out. while marinette's motivation to be good/perfect fuels her anxious reaction, adrien's motivation to experience everything and be satisfied fuels his thrilled and slightly reckless reaction. that's why he charges out into battle without listening to all the instructions; his motivation was to escape the restraints of his life and try something new.

in growth, enneagram 7's take on the positive traits of 5's. in stress, they take on the negative traits of 1's. i have seen adrien exhibit these behaviors throughout the show on many occasions!

according to the enneagram institute, "Sevens have fear about their inner world. There are feelings of pain, loss, deprivation, and general anxiety that Sevens would like to stay clear of as much as possible. To cope with these feelings, Sevens keep their minds occupied with exciting possibilities and options— as long as they have something stimulating to anticipate, Sevens feel that they can distract themselves from their fears." therefore, while one can argue that adrien's wealth of knowledge and fun facts is a result of everything gabriel has forced him to learn (mandarin, piano, fencing, medieval horse colors), we can assume he at least was interested in it - and that seeking new knowledge like a 5 kept him from lingering in his sadness.

"i'll help you learn mandarin marinette" "i'll show you how to fence marinette" "most people think henry iv's white horse was white my lady" "do you need subtitles my lady i speak several languages"

now as to how adrien moves to the low parts of type 1 during the show: i think the main examples of this are the instances he adopts rigid, critical, and judgemental characteristics, which is potentially unpleasant for anyone who has to be around him.

first up, adrien's akumatized forms: chat blanc, ephemeral, celesticat

i bring up the akumas because, though adrien isn't in his right mind (by hawkmoth's akumas), they are examples of adrien being in extreme stress.

as chat blanc, adrien wants to either right the world or destroy it for being wrong - the critical supreme judgement an unhealthy 1 is capable of. he lashes out when contradicted, and is quite ruthless even to marinette, who he loves, in the name of executing judgement.

as ephemeral, adrien seeks to control time. (however, this is probably the weakest example because adrien was being amok-controlled in this instance and was acting on shadow moth's will, not his own.)

i include celesticat because while this is an example of a "good" akumatization, adrien was still under so much stress that an akumatization was able to take place. yet even while being in "good" stress, adrien still shows characteristics of 1: perfectionism, righteousness, taking control of the situation. he literally turns into a pure white angelic being, an embodiment of perfection. it's what he believes he has to do in order to salvage the situation. it's one of the more healthier moves from 7 to 1 i have seen depicted in media and is entirely plausible concept under the enneagram's theory! this just goes to show the depth and richness of his character.

next, we will discuss adrien's various alter egos:

cat walker

i've said it before and i'll say it again; cat walker is another move from 7 -> 1.

as chat noir, adrien is at the height of his 7-ness. he enjoys the freedom that his miraculous powers and secret identity gives him, and uses it as a means of escape from the regular constraints of his life and obligations. then in kuro neko when ladybug slights him, she denies him the fulfilment and satisfaction in reaching his full potential as chat noir (e.g., being of equal importance on the team as her) that he should be allowed. of course he becomes hurt and angry! she's stepping on his core desire in life.

according to enneagram coach dr. tom lahue (my favorite enneagram guy ((also a 7)), "type 7's typically deal with anger by trying to avoid it or deflect it. that really is the anger type of a 7 - deflective. deflecting things away." that's what i believe cat walker is: a stress reaction, a deflection of his anger with ladybug. he deflects his painful emotions into something he thinks is positive; a new start.

adrien is usually so joyful and optimistic, but this was a huge blow for him. dr. tom says the best way for a 7 to handle this anger is to be "real and genuine" when coming to terms with it, what does adrien do instead? he turns to a new alter ego. he chases the experience of fulfillment, only he does so by adopting a persona who is serious and perfectionist. obviously this was neither what adrien or ladybug needed, and that is because cat walker is a stress reaction who adrien cannot sustain without continued levels of unhealthy self-denial. this is the hardest he has gone to 1 in the show and what it took to snap him out of it was a level of reflection, analysis, and objectivity (that this was an unhealthy behavior) indicative of a type 5 - and which shows his progression to growth.

2. aspik

one can argue that aspik is more proof of adrien being a 2 than a 7 actually, as his motivations for becoming aspik were to woo ladybug. however, the stress response of a type 2 is to move to the negative qualities of type 8, which is to lash out at those who they believe have taken them for granted.

according to the enneagram institute,

"Average to unhealthy Twos seek validation of their worth by obeying their superego’s demands to sacrifice themselves for others. They believe they must always put others first and be loving and unselfish if they want to get love. The problem is that “putting others first” makes Twos secretly angry and resentful, feelings they work hard to repress or deny. Nevertheless, they eventually erupt in various ways, disrupting Twos’ relationships and revealing the inauthenticity of many of the average to unhealthy Two’s claims about themselves and the depth of their “love.”

as aspik, adrien was never resentful of ladybug for taking him for granted or making him feel rejected. as aspik, his goal was never to make himself needed by her. as aspik, he maintained some extreme levels of optimism that ignored the rational conclusion that he should give up for several thousand time loops. as aspik, he was able to let go and displace his hopes in himself to someone else - and run off to his responsibility as chat noir with high spirits (though i'm sure the ladrien kiss helped)

3. griffe noire

this has got to be the most stressful stress reaction i've seen on adrien. and you might say "but wackus he looks nothing like a type 1" and i say "JUST HOLD ON

going back to dr. tom's analysis on type 7's in anger, he says, "7's typically express their anger indirectly, e.g., through sarcasm, like 5's - like 6's sometimes... but they quickly try to move on and reframe into a more positive way." griffe noire, rather than telling jokes and puns to lighten the mood, mocks and ridicules poor toxinelle who has not convinced me she doesn't have a crush on him. 1's actually do the same thing when they are unhealthy; they criticize and blame and nag others for not being up to par, and by directing his anger at his situation onto toxinelle, griffe noire is doing the same.

dr tom goes on to say, "in some cases [7's] might take impulsive actions to try to free themselves from this feeling of being trapped... engaging in frenetic escapism in behaviors or addictions or substances to try to distance themselves from those who are frustrated with them... or their own anger/pain in life." we have seen griffe noire engage in multiple frenetic behaviors while running amok (haha), all of which are clearly attempts to redirect his pain and anger/ keep it from consuming him. for example, griffe noire takes chat noir's cataclysm to the chest as though it's a game. for another, he openly threatens to destroy the entire world with his super cataclysm. and of course, he is constantly abusing his miraculous by over-exerting his powers in a way only adults should. yet all of these destructive behaviors are still adrien's way of escaping his normal life, and his everyday pain. it's almost like his self-destruction is his addiction.

and yet by the end, it took the introspection of type 5 for griffe noire to realize that his behavior was unhealthy. he observed, he listened, he showed an inquisitiveness that brought him back from the brink. and he also upgraded his outfit so if that isn't a type 7 path to growth i don't know what is!

now i know i won't have convinced everybody, so i just want to drop this section from the enneagram institute's text on misidentifying 2's and 7's:

Although both types are gregarious and enjoy being with people, their interpersonal styles are noticeably different. The Two... would like to be the heart and soul of a family or community, the best friend or confidant everyone comes to for attention, advice, and approval. Twos want to be significant to others and on intimate terms with them, although sometimes they go too far, meddling too much and being too solicitous to make sure they are needed.

adrien is not focused on being needed by anybody, not even ladybug (although due to his romantic interest in her, i can understand why people think so). being the heart and soul of the team is not what motivates him; primarily, i think he just likes having all the experiences he wouldn't otherwise get to have without being chat noir.

By contrast... Sevens do not see themselves as the center of a community or family, but as members of a free-floating band of fellow adventurers whose own enjoyment is enhanced by being with others.... Sevens may thus exhibit a certain generosity, although their motives may well have less to do with helping needier friends than with making sure that they themselves have a good time by having others around.

this isn't to say that adrien is just focused on having a "good time." i see that his enjoyment is amplified when he is surrounded by people he loves and cares for. he is motivated to have good experiences, and be fulfilled by trying everything, and becoming close to people and forming loving relationships is just a happy byproduct of that.

now there ARE several caveats to my analysis which provide potential arguments against typing adrien as a 7 - and which i can touch on briefly before i close:

adrien's abuse: i understand that trauma and anxiety can affect personality deeply. i'm not qualified to speak on this, or on how it should or shouldn't affect any personality type. i can only say that i think adrien has acted pretty consistently under stress as far as the show depicts

inconsistent characterization: i think we can all agree that ml won't be winning any awards for its consistency in characterization. which i know sounds contradictory to what i just said about how it depicts adrien under stress, but i think there IS a lot of discrepancy in this show and over the course of 9 years with different teams of writers all trying to execute one person's vision, inconsistencies are bound to happen.

thank you again for the ask, anon, and thank YOU if you have read all the way through! tell me your thoughts, if you make it down here - whether you agree/disagree or are just nodding along and letting me indulge in my enneagram brainrot! this is an entirely in-good-faith interpretation of mine, and i'd love to see other opinions if you have them!

Enneagram Types (Part 1)

The Enneagram system consists of nine core types, and each type can have a dominant wing, which is one of the adjacent types on the Enneagram diagram. The wing adds additional nuances and characteristics to the core type.

Here's a description of each Enneagram type, including their core motivations, fears, desires, and typical behaviors, along with information about their wings:

Type 1 - The Reformer: Core Motivation: Ones strive to be good, moral, and virtuous. They have a strong sense of right and wrong and seek to improve themselves and the world around them.

Core Fear: Ones fear being corrupt, immoral, or flawed. They strive for perfection and can be highly critical of themselves and others.

Core Desire: Ones desire to have integrity and to be right. They long for a sense of balance and order.

Typical Behaviors: Ones are responsible, principled, and have a strong work ethic. They tend to be self-disciplined, organized, and strive for excellence.

Wing 9 (1w9): The Idealist

Nines tend to soften the rigidity of Ones and bring a more peaceful and easygoing approach to their perfectionistic tendencies. They may be more patient, accepting, and able to see multiple perspectives.

Wing 2 (1w2): The Advocate

Twos add a caring and nurturing element to Ones. They may be more focused on helping others and may strive for perfection in service to others. They may also struggle with boundaries and a need for external validation.

Type 2 - The Helper: Core Motivation: Twos seek to be loved, wanted, and needed. They strive to be helpful and to win the affection and approval of others.

Core Fear: Twos fear being unwanted, unloved, or rejected. They may worry about being seen as selfish or needy.

Core Desire: Twos desire to be appreciated, valued, and loved. They long for connection and meaningful relationships.

Typical Behaviors: Twos are caring, generous, and empathetic. They often put others' needs before their own and seek to be supportive and helpful.

Wing 1 (2w1): The Servant

Ones bring a sense of responsibility and a focus on ethics and doing what is right to Twos. They may have higher standards and may feel a sense of duty in their helpfulness.

Wing 3 (2w3): The Host/Hostess

Threes add an achievement-oriented and goal-focused aspect to Twos. They may strive to be the best at helping and seek recognition and validation for their efforts.

Type 3 - The Achiever: Core Motivation: Threes seek to be successful, admired, and accomplished. They strive for excellence and are highly driven to achieve their goals.

Core Fear: Threes fear failure, being seen as incompetent, or worthless. They may worry about not measuring up to others' expectations.

Core Desire: Threes desire recognition, approval, and validation for their achievements. They long to be seen as successful and competent.

Typical Behaviors: Threes are ambitious, hardworking, and image-conscious. They often excel in their chosen fields and are focused on presenting a positive image to others.

Wing 2 (3w2): The Charmer

Twos bring a nurturing and helpful dimension to Threes. They may be more focused on building relationships and connecting with others in their pursuit of success.

Wing 4 (3w4): The Professional

Fours add a unique and individualistic flair to Threes. They may strive to stand out and be recognized for their uniqueness, bringing creativity and depth to their achievements.

Type 4 - The Individualist: Core Motivation: Fours seek to be authentic, special, and unique. They desire to express their individuality and connect with their innermost emotions.

Core Fear: Fours fear being ordinary, mundane, or without significance. They may feel a deep sense of longing and struggle with feelings of emptiness.

Core Desire: Fours desire to be seen and understood for their authentic selves. They long for deep, meaningful connections and to express their innermost emotions.

Typical Behaviors: Fours are creative, introspective, and often express themselves through art, music, or personal styles. They value authenticity and tend to have a rich emotional inner world.

Wing 3 (4w3): The Aristocrat

Threes add a focus on success and achievement to Fours. They may strive to stand out in their unique way and desire recognition for their individuality.

Wing 5 (4w5): The Bohemian

Fives bring an intellectual and introspective element to Fours. They may be more withdrawn and focused on gaining knowledge and understanding their complex emotions.

Type 5 - The Investigator: Core Motivation: Fives seek knowledge, understanding, and independence. They strive to conserve their energy and protect their inner resources.

Core Fear: Fives fear being overwhelmed, invaded, or inadequate. They may worry about not having enough resources or knowledge to cope with the demands of the world.

Core Desire: Fives desire to be competent, self-sufficient, and capable. They long for space and privacy to explore their interests and pursue intellectual pursuits.

Typical Behaviors: Fives are observant, analytical, and tend to withdraw into their inner worlds. They often have a thirst for knowledge and may have a few close, trusted relationships.

Wing 4 (5w4): The Iconoclast

Fours add an emotional depth and a unique perspective to Fives. They may have a more artistic or expressive approach to their intellectual pursuits.

Wing 6 (5w6): The Problem Solver

Sixes bring a practical and skeptical dimension to Fives. They may seek security and may be more cautious and attentive to potential risks.

Remember that individuals may vary within each type, and the wings offer additional dimensions to their core motivations. The Enneagram system is a tool for self-awareness and personal growth, helping individuals understand their patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving.

Stay tune for Enneagram Types (Part 2)

xoxo J.

CRITICAL ROLE: BELL'S HELLS (2021–) ENNEAGRAM TYPES ★

Laudna – Type 2(w3): The Hostess

Twos are empathetic, sincere, and warm-hearted. They are friendly, generous, and self-sacrificing, but can also be flattering and people-pleasing. They are well-meaning and driven to be close to others, but can slip into doing things for others in order to be needed. They typically have problems with possessiveness and with acknowledging their own needs. Twos are considerate and generous. They enliven others with their appreciation and attention, helping people to see positive qualities in themselves that they had not previously recognized. Twos open others’ hearts because theirs are already so open. Enneagram 2w3s are sociable and always seeking love and attention. They’re always willing to help. You don’t even need to ask: they immediately shift into an attentive and helping mode (though this might result in avoiding negative feelings and self-repression).

Sources: 1 2

NEGATIVE ENNEAGRAM TEST

Enneagram Tests are often criticized for focusing too much on the positive aspects of a person’s character. Are you ready to face your Enneagram dark side?

((Thank you for the tag @stxrksarc this was very interesting!

So Scott tied between Type 2 “The Helper/The Giver” and Type 7 “The Enthusiast/The Adventurer”. There’s loads of traits than come with both of these, and some relate to him more than others. The entire list is under the cut.))

Enneagram Type 2 is characterized by a deep-seated desire to connect with others by offering assistance and support. While this personality type is known for their kindness, generosity, and empathy, the negative aspects of their nature can create challenges in both their personal lives and relationships.

Overly Self-Sacrificing: Strong inclination to prioritize others' needs over their own, often to the detriment of their own well-being.

Validation Seeking: Seeking approval and validation from others by constantly helping and being indispensable.

Boundary Issues: Difficulty setting healthy boundaries, leading to emotional exhaustion and burnout.

Ignoring Personal Needs: Neglecting their own needs and desires while focusing excessively on fulfilling others'.

Fear of Rejection: Constantly fearing rejection or abandonment if they don't meet others' needs.

Burnout: Constantly overextending themselves without proper self-care, leading to burnout.

Validation Addiction: Becoming addicted to the emotional highs they get from being needed and appreciated.

Enneagram Type 7 is characterized by a strong desire for novelty, excitement, and avoiding discomfort. While this personality type possesses many strengths such as creativity, optimism, and a sense of adventure, the negative aspects of their nature can create challenges in both their personal lives and relationships. 

Avoidance of Negative Emotions: Tendency to avoid facing negative emotions by seeking distractions.

Restlessness: Struggling with being fully present, and always seeking new experiences.

Overcommitment: Engaging in numerous activities simultaneously, often to the point of exhaustion.

Disregarding Consequences: Ignoring potential negative outcomes in favor of immediate enjoyment.

Impulsiveness: Making hasty decisions based on excitement rather than careful consideration.

Unrealistic Optimism: Ignoring potential pitfalls due to a focus on positive outcomes.

Tagging (no pressure): @inz-lokisdottir @guardian-rocket @redxinmyledger @supremestrangeness @thisisthewade @og-ant-man @benevolentgodloki @thegrandharveyspecter and anyone else who wants to play

Type 2

Their negative aspects tend to take the following forms:

* Overly Self-Sacrificing: Strong inclination to prioritize others' needs over their own, often to the detriment of their own well-being.

* Validation Seeking: Seeking approval and validation from others by constantly helping and being indispensable.

* Manipulative Behavior: Tendency to manipulate situations and emotions to feel needed and valued.

* Hidden Agenda: Helping others with the underlying expectation of receiving appreciation or reciprocation.

* Boundary Issues: Difficulty setting healthy boundaries, leading to emotional exhaustion and burnout.

* Resentment: Developing resentment when their efforts aren't acknowledged or reciprocated as expected.

* Ignoring Personal Needs: Neglecting their own needs and desires while focusing excessively on fulfilling others'.

* Fear of Rejection: Constantly fearing rejection or abandonment if they don't meet others' needs.

* Dependence on Others' Approval: Relying on external validation for their sense of self-worth and identity.

* Loss of Authenticity: Suppressing their own feelings and opinions to cater to others' preferences.

* Emotional Manipulation: Using emotions to control situations, often making others feel guilty for not complying.

* Avoiding Conflict: Going to great lengths to avoid conflict and disagreements, even at their own expense.

* Loss of Identity: Struggling to distinguish their own desires and identity from those they help.

* Exaggerated Selflessness: Displaying excessive selflessness to the point of denying their own needs altogether.

* Emotional Volatility: Swinging between feelings of selflessness and moments of frustration or anger.

* Martyr Complex: Adopting the role of the martyr, using their sacrifices to garner sympathy and attention.

* Conditional Giving: Giving with strings attached, expecting something in return for their help.

* Neglecting Self-Reflection: Focusing so much on others that they fail to reflect on their own feelings and motivations.

* Unhealthy Attachments: Forming co-dependent relationships based on their role as the caregiver.

* Burnout: Constantly overextending themselves without proper self-care, leading to burnout.

* Loss of Autonomy: Feeling trapped by their need to be needed, which can hinder their personal growth.

* Fear of Abandonment: Worrying that if they stop helping, they'll be abandoned or unloved.

* Validation Addiction: Becoming addicted to the emotional highs they get from being needed and appreciated.

Type 7

Their negative aspects tend to take the following forms:

* Avoidance of Negative Emotions: Tendency to avoid facing negative emotions by seeking distractions.

* Restlessness: Struggling with being fully present, and always seeking new experiences.

* Superficial Gratification: Pursuit of pleasure and novelty for immediate gratification.

* Escapism: Using distractions, such as excessive planning or indulgence, to evade discomfort.

* Fear of Boredom: Strong aversion to routine or mundane activities, fearing boredom.

* Overcommitment: Engaging in numerous activities simultaneously, often to the point of exhaustion.

* Difficulty with Commitment: Struggle with committing to long-term projects or relationships.

* Disregarding Consequences: Ignoring potential negative outcomes in favor of immediate enjoyment.

* Impulsiveness: Making hasty decisions based on excitement rather than careful consideration.

* Avoidance of Pain: Evading emotional pain or discomfort by focusing on positive experiences.

* Difficulty Processing Emotions: Struggling to process and express deeper emotions.

* Shallow Connections: Forming many social connections but rarely developing deep relationships.

* Fear of Missing Out: Anxiety about missing out on new experiences or opportunities.

* Ignoring Practicalities: Neglecting practical responsibilities in pursuit of excitement.

* Dependency on External Stimuli: Relying on external sources for happiness and satisfaction.

* Perpetual Searching: Always searching for the next best thing, leading to dissatisfaction.

* Escalation of Escapism: Escaping into fantasies or overindulgence during times of stress.

* Lack of Follow-Through: Difficulty completing tasks that lose their initial appeal.

* Avoidance of Negative News: Avoiding negative news or situations that disrupt positivity.

* Difficulty with Intimacy: Struggling to engage in deep emotional intimacy due to avoidance of pain.

* Resistance to Discomfort: Unwillingness to face discomfort or negative emotions head-on.

* Fear of Being Trapped: Anxiety about being tied down or limited in their choices.

* Loss of Perspective: Getting caught up in the pursuit of pleasure, neglecting long-term goals.

* Vulnerability Aversion: Reluctance to reveal vulnerabilities or fears to others.

* Unrealistic Optimism: Ignoring potential pitfalls due to a focus on positive outcomes.

(via Enneagram Comparisons | Type Two and Type Three)

Selfless - The Dark Side of the Enneagram Type 2

My grandmother never told my mother she loved her

I would know, my mother has reminded me every chance that she gets. She has since I was five.

She promised herself that with me, she would never make the same mistakes her parents did. In a way, she succeeded.

Every scolding, beating, berating was dripping with love. Because when you despise something, you cannot become it. Or so we’re told. If you detest the loveless, than every act of evil becomes an act of love

In my mother’s eyes, all good canceled out all bad. All loving intentions demolished fleeting fits of anger. Hitting, kicking me, pushing me to be perfect, using me as a therapist, it all melted away and ceased to exist as long as she was tucking me in every night, telling me she loved me every chance she got, hosting the perfect birthday parties and baking the perfect cakes and buying me the perfect clothes, spoiling me rotten with time and money she didn’t have as an act of generosity

But it’s not the dresses and cakes and jewelry and parties and laughing together that come back and haunt me in the middle of the night

I don’t believe my mother is a bad person, or at least I don’t want to. Firstly because I love her, and secondly because I spent the first nineteen years of my life living, if you can call it that, as an extension of her. The perfect, happy daughter, with perfect, loving parents and no discernible problems or trauma, that she always dreamed to be. To this day, I can’t look in the mirror without seeing her. I see it in the eyes of those I loved more than myself, more than this world, that I bent over backwards and extended more than I could give, and then resented them for not doing the same, as they walk out of my life again and again

And this person is screaming at me, and in their eyes I see myself screaming at my mother. And they’re screaming and screaming, “you’re a horrible person, you hurt me, you’re so selfish!”

Selfish

That’s why I could never hate my mother. Because we’re the same. Because we’d both rather take a dagger to the heart a thousand times over than to be called selfish even once.

We spend our lives killing ourselves day and night for those we love in the hopes that maybe someday, somehow, we’ll be loved and cared for in return. And when we’re not perfect at it, or worse, the other person isn’t, they’re not as grateful as we’d like them to be, we destroy them from the inside out, but you’d never see it coming. Not from someone so kind, so caring, so empathetic, so loving. So selfless.

circular economy enthusiast + seamstress + enneagram type 2 = impulsive desire to mend friends’ clothes whenever I see a hole in them

"Sempre achei que o termo 'amigo' em geral é ridiculamente usado em demasia (ESPECIALMENTE *melhor* amigo). sim, sou bem conhecido, sou *amigável* com a maioria das pessoas (não vou me esforçar para ser rude ou retraído sem motivo, yk). mas você não é meu amigo. eu uso esse termo de forma tão seletiva que é honestamente uma loucura.

como se precisássemos ser um verdadeiro passeio ou morressemos. parceiros de vida platônicos. as madrinhas dos filhos umas das outras. todo mundo é tão seguro e chato e *chato* e cauteloso. eu quero tudo isso. eu quero o seu estranho, eu quero o seu feio, eu quero seus segredos, seus pensamentos e seus sentimentos, e quero te dar tudo o que tenho. e a maioria das pessoas não dá isso. a maioria das pessoas só quer sair quando *estão* se sentindo bem ou quando *estão* sozinhas, mas então é apenas um fantasma. todo mundo está com um tempo tão bom que isso realmente me enfurece"

- irlfa1ry (From PDB - Type Two)

Enneagram type 2

#ENNEAGRAM TYPE 2 HOW TO#

When enneagram two’s are unhealthy, other people are just a means to an end, rather than individuals deserving of kindness and service. Rather than learning the intrinsic value of helping others, they view service as a way to fulfill their desires. Unhealthy enneagram 2’s are less charitable in comparison to their healthy side. Above all, they value their relationships and experiences and understand when to say yes or no. They also see others as human beings, not just ways to feel better about themselves.

#ENNEAGRAM TYPE 2 HOW TO#

Overall, a healthy enneagram 2 knows how to appease their desire but can handle situations if things don’t go their way. There is a sound understanding of give-and-take within their relationships to better meet both sides’ needs. They spend some time on their own and love themselves for who they are. Healthy enneagram 2’s are secure and loving regardless of what others do or think. Rather than overlook their needs for affection and self-care, a healthy two will make time and space for themself. They also develop an open mind while seeing potential friends in everyone, regardless of demographics.Īs adults, healthy type 2’s will still help others but also recognize the necessity of personal time. They can also recognize when others need help or feel upset, creating possibilities to make friends. With new levels of health, enneagram two’s can live and interact beyond their need for validation, accepting that they are worthy as they are.Īs adolescents, enneagram type 2’s learn the fundamentals of sharing, probably even earlier than their peers. A healthy awareness of their limitations will empower enneagram type 2’s to make fewer but better commitments, knowing when to act or not. Healthy enneagram 2’s can recognize their ability to help others as they become more realistic about the wants of others. However, as two’s become aware of this, they can become more selfless in their intentions and establish a healthy attitude concerning service to help create a safe and caring environment. As a result, two’s can overlook motives of giving in hopes of receiving a return. Remember that a 2’s motivation to be kind can come with an unconscious ulterior motive. This pattern can significantly develop in non-reciprocal relationships. As such, they may end up overcommitting and stretching themselves too thin. With a large social group, 2’s would rather spend time helping others than work on their problems. However, if unaware, two’s will seek to validate their worth by how dependant others are for their friendship or care.Įnneagram type 2’s have a big heart and are more open to forming friendships with various people. Their good deeds bring happiness to others and create a deep sense of satisfaction. Two’s feed on social interaction and use this cycle to form their circle of friends and loved ones. When an enneagram type 2 begins to address trauma or hurt, they can become more secure over time and rely less on people for acceptance.Īt their best, enneagram type 2’s draw people in, developing relationships based on mutual support. Such an environment can lead to feelings of insecurity and a high empathy for others. This need for attention can stem from an emotionally unfulfilling or painful childhood where guardians or parents were insufficient to meet their need for acceptance and nurturing. Their strong feelings of being unlovable can cause them to selflessly attempt to meet the needs of others while disregarding their desires. By doing this, they see themselves as helpful and valuable, securing their self-image as someone worthwhile to know.Įnneagram type 2’s are in the heart triad and wrestle with a sense of shame over their life. Two’s feel a strong sense of fulfillment by helping those around them and naturally build strong connections. What It’s Like to Be an Enneagram 2Įnneagram type 2’s approach each situation and relationship selflessly, eager to help meet the needs of others. As a result, their longing to express and receive love can reverse into bitterness and hostility. Unsure of themselves and their relationships, they can attempt to control, even if they are overbearing or clingy. Some may even assume that others want and desire the same things and find it difficult to understand when friends or loved ones do not express care in the same way.Įnneagram twos, while on the surface can seem happy-go-lucky, often struggle with a fear of being unlovable, creating emotional instability. An enneagram two may not express their need for affection and appreciation, hoping for others to give back in the same manner. The helper personality trait desires for love and nurturing they provide to others to be reciprocal.Įnneagram type 2’s like to be on both the giving and receiving end of relationships. Type 2’s meet most people with a caring attitude and enjoy socializing. Common enneagram type 2 characteristics come from the motivation to feel loved and appreciated.

Enneagram type 2

When you meet them, you immediately feel they’re a safe place. They’re a warm, loving space for people to open up about hard things in their life. They can make you feel like the most loved, important person in the world. In your time of need, a Two show’s God’s heart by making you their top priority-even if it means completely abandoning themselves. Twos were designed to love fully and freely, without keeping score at all. Peter even said, “Lord, you will never wash my feet!” Among other things, Jesus was showing them that loving, serving, and sacrificing is a core part of God’s personality.Īnd when we watch Twos, we get a crystal-clear picture of it. It was such a lowly duty that the disciples felt embarrassed and confused. Twos reveal the part of God’s heart that caused Jesus to wash his disciples’ feet. Listen to me, and eat what is good-delight yourself in abundance!” (Isaiah 55:1-2). They’re called the Helper or the Provider for a reason-because they reflect the part of God that says, “Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters. Watching them, you get a glimpse of God’s unfailing love for us in a way that no one else does. If you’ve ever doubted that God loves you deeply, unconditionally, and with utter abandon…just look at how He made Twos. Which keeps them from being effective lovers. That tendency leaves them empty-emotionally, spiritually, and monetarily. Because secretly, they believe that asking for help means they could lose the love they’ve earned. So they’ll never address what THEY need.Īnd then, when they need help, they often have trouble asking for it. When they have needs themselves, they’ll feel bad about it. “Helpful” is how they long to hear others describe them.Īll this focus on others can trick the Two into thinking it’s not right to care about themselves. That because a Two’s default setting is to attempt to earn love by providing for people. Twos thrive off the gratitude they get when they give you something. Ian Cron says, “They’re the first to respond during a crisis and the last to leave a dinner party if there are still dishes to wash.” They’re generous servants, fabulous hosts, and loyal friends.įor a Two, the words “thank you” are the most beautiful words a person can ever say. We all understand love better because of the way Twos love us. They have this way of making life all about the people around them, and it’s infectious. Even if it means inconveniencing themselves. Twos are naturally warm, loving, and empathetic-quickly figuring out what you need and doing whatever they can to help you get it. It’s not hard to see why everyone gravitates to her. If you get a promotion, she’s there to celebrate-and she’s already planned a party in your honor. She quickly takes interest in other people and does everything she can to make them feel understood and provided for. Once, heard her say, “It seems like everyone I meet feels like I’m their best friend.” You have a huge heart and can’t stand seeing anyone or anything in pain.You prefer to make decisions based on what feels most right rather than what seems to make the most sense.You feel valuable when you’re able to give your time, energy, or possessions to someone.You’re an award-winning host/hostess-or should be, anyway.You wish people were as attuned to YOUR needs as you are to theirs.But it does bother you when they don’t even say “thank you.” You’re very generous and do a lot for people without asking for anything in return.People open up to you quickly because they trust you quickly.Everyone you meet seems to think you’re their best friend.You’re more tuned into other people’s feelings than most other people.You check in regularly with loved ones because you’re deeply interested in how they’re doing.Even when it’s at your own expense, you’ll often still gladly do it. You absolutely love taking care of others.If they’re not careful, though, they can depend on their ability to love as a way to earn love in return. Twos are pictures of love-they are the first to give, serve, encourage, or listen to you anytime they sense that you need it. Twos are remarkably attuned to the needs and feelings of others, often before people are aware of them themselves. This causes them to manipulate others by figuring out their needs and desires, and then using that information to try and make them dependent on the Two. When they fear being unloved, twos try to earn that love by doing things for others in hopes that they would be loved in return. Subconscious childhood message: “Your own needs are not as important as the needs of others.” Original Design: They love the people in their life fully and freely, helping other people realize they are valuable and wanted.įear: Being rejected and going unloved by the people they care about.

Childhood of Enneagram types :

② Type 2 : the helper

it's likely their caregiver couldn't properly provide them the basic love & care every child needs. Which led them to believe even their fundamental needs were too much to ask for.Therefore it was humiliating & selfish to acknowledge their own needs. It became forbidden for the kids to acknowledge those needs so they repressed it as much as possible. Not being able to express their needs directly they learned indirect methods to fulfill their needs, they came to believe that they must give in order to receive, love & support is not given for free & it needs to be earned. The E2 kid might earn their place in the family system by doing chores,taking care of their parents & siblings etc. Even as a kid they had the role of the caregiver, nurturer, helper.The kids believed by playing such roles & sacrificing themselves they could earn the love they needed from their family. As an adult their level of desperateness & willingness to do anything to be validated & loved by others will depend on the level of dysfunctionality in their childhood environment.

Spoilers up to chap 303 of tsctir

When you're on your Enneagram bs & realize that Sung Hyunjae is self-pres/sexual 7 & Han Yoojin is self-pres/sexual 2.

...the fact that they both prioritize self-pres instinct while wielding the sexual instinct second would explain some of the odd chemistry in their semi-transactional relationship. They both are, or at least were, using their growing connection with the other as a tool to satisfy their own needs, and both of them see this as reasonable and fair because they know the other is doing the same thing.

Hyunjae only rejects the chemistry between them when his dominant instinct is threatened... needing to risk his arm to help everyone get out of the Japanese dungeon bcuz of whatever funky stuff Yoojin's got going on. He literally says to Song Taewon, after running away from Yoojin, in ch.296:

“No matter how much I like him, I come first. He’s mine to the end, and while he’s something I treasure, the one I value is myself.”

No wonder dude spirals out of control until he's literally contemplating wiping Yoojin off the face of the planet. he's a pleasure-seeking sp7 that ensures the satisfaction of his needs by building interpersonal alliances, & the passionate, dreamy energy of his sx7 instinct serves that end. if the focus of his current passion is abt to risk his survival, if he's gonna have to start making actual sacrifices, then it makes sense that he'd think abt cutting his losses. but... he doesn't want to kill him. cuz he liiiikes him. so he just ghosts him lol

& Yoojin's reaction to it is so freaking funny dude. he's like a crazy ex Hyunjae broke up with over text. & that makes sense, too, bcuz he's beginning to actually care about Sung Hyunjae in a non-transactional way, so Hyunjae just up and ghosting has to absolutely trigger the 2's fear of being unloved and abandoned, like it did when he thought Yoohyun abandoned him pre-regression. and because 2's are hiding insecurity and entitlement for love & attention behind a veneer of altruism, which wells into anger & resentment if they don't get the love that they're due, Yoojin literally threatens to blow up his house if he doesn't respond to him. and does, like, a 24 hour death countdown before barging into Sung Hyunjae's house when he STILL hadn't responded to his texts lololol

enneagram series - type 2: pat, bad buddy "Empathetic, sincere, and warm-hearted. They are friendly, generous, and self-sacrificing, but can also be sentimental, flattering, and people-pleasing. They are well-meaning and driven to be close to others, but can slip into doing things for others in order to be needed." (x)

Healthy/Unhealthy Type 2

Healthy Social 2

Sue Storm (2w1 so/sx)- While id say Ben is closer to the heart of F4 id say sue is the soul of the group. Her view on humanity is formed based on how we all owe something to the other and need to progress and form community.

Kiki Takayama (2w1 so/sp)- Her main struggle in the story is how she is defined in relation to others and what acts of service can she provide to make life better for them. She goes through a bit of crisis mid way in the film and eventually returns to her center at the end.

Clark Kent 2w1 (so/sx)- Similar to Kiki his struggle on he is in relation to others might affect him a bit however, in his better written comics we see a superman who embraces his place as a protect of earth and balances both of his identities.

Unhealthy Social 2

Makima 2w1 so/sx- Her view of humans as pets and need to be loved comes from a place of wanting to emulate love. However Makima is a great example of 2 who has complete moved to 5 completely. Seeing love and good as a need to control others.

Harmony Cobel 2w1 so/sp- Power over other in the form of control and manipulation. Being fully on board with the severance program believing that it's what's best for others.

Allison Dilaruntis 2w3 so/sx- She's an emotional terrorist...yeah. Great example of a 2 disintegrating to 8 and becoming comfortable in manipulating others and using them in order for what's good for the group (the liars). Basically ruling over the town using blackmail and straight up violence when needed.

Healthy Self Preservation 2

-Fiona Gallagher (2w3 sp/sx)- While debatable if she is healthy or not her desire to protect herself and her family form all the threats on the outside world. She rejects the need of E2 to take care of others and Instead craves being taken care of.

-Cher Horowitz (2w3 sp/so)- To others she might come off as ditsy and rude however Cher exemplifies an odd and immature type of care. As the movie goes on we see a Cher who actually starts learning to accept and take care of others outside her narrow perspective.

-Alice Cullen (2w1 sp/so)- Her upbringing makes her wanting to be taken care of by Casper. Usually she reserves her caring nature to those around her and herself. However she always does extend an olive branch when it comes to helping others.

Unhealthy Self Preservation 2

-Amma Crellin (2w3 sp/sx) -A compete rejection of giving as a whole. Her desire to be taken care by someone makes her commit horrible acts and letting herself be hurt. Her frustration with her environment ends up fueling her with rage and resentment.

-Cassie Howard (2w1 sp/sx) - While I thought she was an SX type at first if we pay attention to Cass we can actually see that she is an SP type. One of the things we see of Cassie is that she will not be alone and if her emotional meets aren't met at the moment she will go out of her way to correct them even if it means bad choices.

-Elena Gilbert (2w1 sp/so)- Yeah we have beef...anyways...Her need to preserve herself and those around her can come off at the cost of EVERY other person who she doesn't know. Sometimes being incredibly hypocritical and rude.

Healthy Sexual 2

-Gloria Delgado-Prichette (2w3 sx/so)- The need to be completed by being loved isn't really her main concern. She has fully integrated to her 8 and become a pilar I her family were others can come for advice and wisdom.

-Sakura Haruno (2w1 sx/so)- Her health levels are very subjective due to the fact that her whole development is centered around Sasuke and well you guys know the rest. However id argue she leans more ti healthy due to her eventually detaching her desires from him and developing into her self.

-Rebekah Mikaelson (2w3 sx/sp)- The most 8 looking enneagram two in this post and we adore her for it. Rebekah has been emotionally neglected by her family allot and her only desire in this lifetime is to have a child and regain her humanity. And. by the end of the show we see a fully realized Rebekah with a family, happy and stable.

Unhealthy Sexual 2

-Maria (2w3 sx/sp)- Her only purpose in existence is to be attached to James and being a subconscious part of him. She is forever stuck in that place never truly getting to attach to someone who will value her and love her.

-Wendy (2w3 sx/so)- Fear of not being love by Jennifer makes her insecurities take over and eventually using the red crayon society against her. Even when she is exiled she returns to the rose garden orphanage to commit her last mistake. Most of her wrong doings come from an immature mind and lack of understanding of consequences.

-The Other Mother (2w1 sx/sp)- A craving for others to not join her in the limited space her makes her violent and angry. Also she eats children

P.S I should've used Annie Wilks for unhealthy SX2...

P.S part 2 I should've been more serious in some parts but I haven't posted in an official post in a while and college has been hell the last few weeks.

(via Enneagram Comparisons | Type Two and Type Four)