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fawnandshadows · 8 days

Text

Guilty as Sin?

For @elriel-month and the "New Beginnings" prompt

Warnings: Language

Word Count: 7.4k

AO3

“Have you met your new neighbor yet?” Cassian’s staticky voice crackled in Azriel’s ear, his phone held in place by his shoulder and ear as he furiously searched his apartment for his keys.

“Not yet, just saw the back of her head once when she was closing her door.” Azriel said as he toppled the couch cushions and ran his fingers through the deep crevice on the side. “Where the fuck are my keys?” He muttered, his fingers trailing over long forgotten crumbs that had slid down the side of the cushion. “Were you eating Doritos last time you were here?”

“Uh,” Cassian’s voice caught in his throat. “What happens if I say yes?”

Azriel rolled his eyes and said, “Nothing other than supergluing a trash bag to you as a bib next time you’re over.”

“Wasn’t me, man. Must’ve been Rhysie.” Cassian brushed him off.

Azriel barely mustered a “hmmmm” in acknowledgment as he lowered himself to the ground to check underneath the couch, hoping to see the metallic glint of his keys and only seeing dust bunnies.

“Anyway,” Cassian said in his ear, cutting out for a second before coming back in full volume. Since he had perpetual shitty service, Cassian felt the need to make up for it with shouting. “Your hot new neighbor, do you think you could give her my phone number? She was definitely making eyes at me last time I was there.”

“Was she?” Azriel asked, barely paying attention as he hunted for his keys. He pushed himself off of the floor, his gaze scanning the open space. Where the hell had he put them? He came home dead tired from a shift last night and he remembered fumbling with them out in the hall — there had been a crash from his neighbors apartment that had distracted him, his head already pounding from the drinks he had with Cassian, and he remembered the sound of his keys hitting the ground — did he leave his keys in the hall?

“Are you listening to me?” Cassian asked, his voice sounding far away as Azriel headed towards his door, his duffle bag already there and waiting for him.

“Of course,” Azriel said, opening the door and spotting his keys in a lump on the floor. “You want me to set you up with my hot neighbor.” He bent down, his fingers looping around his keys as he heard a high-pitched “Oh!” from across the hall.

Azriel’s entire body stilled as he turned his head and saw the most beautiful wide brown eyes and flushed pink cheeks.

He blinked at her. No wonder Cassian wanted him to give her his number. Fat-fucking-chance.

“Hellloo?” Cassian asked in his ear like he was trying to wave his head in front of Azriel’s face.

Azriel just hung up on him.

“Sorry about that,” Azriel said, coming to his full height and shoving his phone in the back pocket of his jeans. “I – My friend – He saw you the other day and, um, he has a crush.”

Those brown eyes blinked at him and kicking himself seemed like too kind a punishment.

He was two seconds away from blurting out “I can’t blame him” just to end the agony of silence, but his new neighbor must have had a merciful soul because she beat him to it.

“I just wanted to introduce myself,” She said in the sweetest voice Azriel had ever heard and it wasn’t until then that he noticed she was holding out a pie. “Since I’ve been making so much racket I wanted to apologize.”

“Don’t apologize,” Azriel said, his hand surprisingly steady as he reached for her peace-offering. “I’m not home enough to be bothered by it.”

“Oh.” She said, looking down at her feet, her golden brown hair sweeping down around her.

“I just mean that there’s nothing to apologize for,” Azriel rushed out, her eyes peering up at him and his heart started fucking racing. “I work down at the local fire station, so I’m used to chaos.”

She bit her lip, her eyes dropping down to his muscled arms for a moment as she asked, “You’re a firefighter?”

“Yeah,” Azriel said, sticking out his hand. “I’m Azriel.”

“Elain,” She replied with a soft smile and placed her small hand in his. “It’s nice to meet you,” Azriel never wanted to let go. Her eyes flicked to the duffle bag on the floor behind him. “I don’t want to keep you.” She started to pull her hand away.

“No worries,” Azriel said quickly. “I was just going to meet up with some friends at the gym. Do you want to come in?” Azriel nodded to his apartment behind him. “I make espresso that goes great with pie.”

Elain took her hand back.

“Thank you for the offer,” Elain said with a small smile, taking a step back and reaching for the door knob to her apartment. Azriel felt his body screaming in response as she moved farther away from him. His eyes taking in the purple sundress she was wearing. “But my boyfriend is coming over soon.”

Azriel’s body steeled at the words. Boyfriend?

“Boyfriend?” Azriel asked out loud and Elain nodded her head.

“He’s coming over to see my new place.”

“He didn’t help you with the move?” Azriel already hated him. For probably more reasons that he didn’t want to think about, but what loser didn’t help his girlfriend with a move? Did she move in all by herself? Now that he thought about it, other than a few people from a moving company he didn’t see anyone else moving her in.

She shook her head.

“He was busy.” Elain said simply and Azriel hoped he kept his glower off of his face.

“Well, if you need any help you can always knock on my door.” Azriel offered, forcing a smile and he was delighted when she gave him one in return.

“Thank you,” Elain said, opening her door, and almost shutting it before she poked her head out. “And I love espresso.”

Azriel stood in the hallway, staring at her door and holding the pie and wondering what the hell just happened.

— — — — —

“No, no, no, you don’t understand, he was really pretty.” Elain said to her sister over the phone as she rushed around her apartment.

“How pretty?” Feyre asked, her voice crackling from the poor cell service in Elain’s new building.

“I-forgot-about-Graysen-pretty.” Elain said, adjusting the bouquet of spring flowers on her coffee table. Residual guilt gnawing at her bones. Her boyfriend of two years. She forgot about her boyfriend of two years because of a pretty face. And muscles.

Something clattered on over the phone and Elain knew that her sister dropped a paint brush.

“Oh my God.” Feyre said, stunned.

“I know!” Elain cried, repositioning the silverware for the tenth time.

“Can you send me a picture?” Feyre asked.

“Well, I don’t have one, but just imagine the most good looking man you can think of and then like double that. And imagine him as a firefighter.” Elain said and rushed across the apartment to stir her bolognese sauce.

One interaction with Azriel and she was buzzing around her apartment not knowing what to do.

“I need to throw you a housewarming party just to see him.” Feyre said, laughing over the phone.

“This isn’t funny!” Elain pouted, stirring her sauce. “I almost went in for espresso.”

“You hate espresso.” Feyre said, and even though Elain couldn’t see her she knew her sister was smiling.

“I know.” Elain replied with a sinking feeling and stifled a sigh.

She couldn’t be friends with Azriel. He was too pretty. And by all accounts he was nice. She got the sense that he actually would help her if she needed it. That he wasn’t just saying that to be polite.

For some reason she wanted to stomp her foot like a child. She had to practically beg Graysen to see her new place.

“What are you going to do?” Feyre asked.

“Nothing.” Elain said abruptly.

“Elain,” Feyre said gently. “You called me just to talk about how pretty your neighbor is.” There was so much unspoken in Feyre’s voice that Elain felt the weight of it on her shoulders.

“It doesn’t matter,” Elain said, forcing away the rush of emotions. “I’m with Graysen.”

There was a moment of silence over the phone.

“It’s not a crime that you find another man attractive, Elain.” Feyre said and Elain felt herself nodding along.

“I know.”

A knock sounded from the door.

“I have to go, Graysen is here. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Ok-love-you-bye!” Feyre rushed out before Elain hung up.

— — — — —

“I can’t believe you followed me home.” Azriel said, fishing around in his duffle bag to pull out his keys.

The thump of Cassian bouncing a basketball beat steadily behind his back as Azriel unlocked his door.

“I didn’t follow you home,” Cassian said and Azriel shot him a bland look over his shoulder. “We’re hanging out, it’s what friends do.”

“And your being here has nothing to do with Elain?” Azriel asked, crossing his arms and narrowing his eyes at Cassian who had begun to spin the basketball on his index finger.

“Of course not, I—”

The ball slipped from Cassian’s finger and flew across the hall, smashing against Elain’s door. How the ball managed to move perpendicularly through the air, Azriel never knew.

Half of Azriel wanted to rush into his apartment and slam the door to leave Cassian to his own humiliation, but the sound of a male voice behind Elain’s door made Azriel stay in place.

Two seconds later they watched as the door swung open to reveal someone Azriel could only assume was The Boyfriend standing there with Elain peering out at them behind his shoulder.

The Boyfriend…did not look happy as he took in Azriel and Cassian standing in the hallway.

“Hi Azriel,” Elain said with a polite smile as she curiously looked at him. The eyes of The Boyfriend snapped to her and narrowed. “Is this yours?” She went to reach for the stray basketball, but The Boyfriend’s hands shot out and grabbed it first.

“You should be more careful next time.” He said, holding the ball out to Azriel, his eyes weary and smile plastic as he sized Azriel up.

“My bad,” Cassian said with a charming grin as he took the ball that Graysen was holding out after it became obvious that Azriel wasn’t going to. “Azriel has better control over his balls than I do,” Cassian took a step back and slapped Azriel on the back, but when no one laughed he stuck his hand out toward Elain. “Cassian. Nice to meet you.”

“Elain.” She replied kindly, her eyes flickering to Azriel as she accepted Cassian’s outstretched hand.

“I was on the phone with him this morning.” Azriel said and nodded towards Cassian, his lips twitching as Elain’s eyes widened.

Everyone noticed the way her cheeks flushed and the way Cassian smiled hungrily.

Elain sheepishly drew her hand back as she asked, “Are you a firefighter as well?” Her eyes dipped to his t-shirt which boasted the numbers of the local fire station.

“You know it,” Cassian’s grin widened. “Someone’s got to rescue all those kitties trapped in trees.”

Elain laughed at that, but The Boyfriend bristled.

“We should get back to lunch.” The Boyfriend said with false cheer.

“Of course,” Elain said, blinking. “It was nice to see you both.” She nodded at Azriel and Cassian.

“I’m having some friends over next week,” Azriel rushed out as Elain was turning away. Her wide brown eyes curious as she looked at him over her shoulder. “Saturday. You should stop by.”

“I’d love to —”

“We have plans.” The Boyfriend cut her off, and Azriel couldn’t stop himself from glaring at him.

Elain’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion as she said, “But I asked if you wanted to get brunch and you mentioned a business lunch?”

Azriel’s jaw hurt as he ground his teeth together.

“We can head over once that’s wrapped up.” The Boyfriend said, his smile not budging from his lips.

“Elain can come whenever she wants.” Azriel said, his voice not exactly dark, but full of meaning. Enough meaning that Elain’s cheeks turned ripened pink and The Boyfriend outright glared at him.

Azriel didn’t back down from his stare, keeping his face completely neutral even though he knew Cassian was wearing a shit-eating grin next to him.

“That’s very kind of you,” Elain muttered, tugging on her boyfriend's arm. “I’ll see you later?” She asked hesitantly, and Azriel nodded in confirmation.

“It was nice meeting you!” Cassian called out as Elain was closing the door, but they managed to see the small smile on her lips before they were shut out.

Azriel and Cassian stood in the hallway, Azriel looking at the door intensely while Cassian’s eyes flitted between the door and his friend.

“Fuck that guy, right?” Cassian said.

“Yeah,” Azriel nodded. “Fuck that guy.”

— — — — — —

“And you haven’t seen him, right?” Graysen asked over the phone, his voice suspicious and casual in a way that made Elain roll her eyes.

“Not even in passing.” Elain said, flipping over her pancakes. For some reason she was craving something sweet as soon as she woke up — she didn’t even bother changing out of Graysen’s old Wharton’s shirt and her boy shorts she slept in.

“Good.” Graysen said, his relief evident over the phone.

“I don’t know why you hate him so much.” Elain muttered, moving her pancakes off of the heat and getting ready to add more batter to the hot pan.

“He was coming onto you right there in the hallway, right in front of me, and you weren’t exactly telling him to back off.” Graysen said irritably.

“You’re exaggerating.” Elain said, but the creeping, gnawing feeling of guilt wormed its way underneath her skin. She might be able to lie to Graysen, but she couldn’t lie to herself. And the fact that she could lie to Graysen sent alarm bells blaring in her mind.

“Yeah, well, don’t go over there on Saturday without me.” Graysen said in a way that made Elain bristle.

“You don’t even know what time your lunch will be over,” Elain said, her voice hitting an unbecoming whine. “And I’m free all day, so why wouldn’t I go over?”

“Because he wants to fuck you, Elain.”

“He does not!” Elain roared over the phone, her cheeks burning as she angrily flipped her pancakes. “And besides, there will be lots of people over there so it’s not like we’ll be alone. And after years of dating I’ve given you zero reasons not to trust me.”

Graysen sighed into her ear.

“I’m sorry,” He apologized and Elain felt slightly mollified. “I just don’t like that he lives across from you.”

“You have nothing to worry about.” Elain said in resignation, but she wondered if she had the willpower to push Azriel away if he made a move on her.

“I know.” Graysen said, but Elain could tell he didn’t quite believe the words.

She opened her mouth to speak, but a knock sounded from the door.

“I should go,” Elain said, taking the pancakes off a little too soon so they wouldn’t burn. “My breakfast is ready.” She didn’t tell Graysen about the knock, having a sneaking suspicion it was Azriel on the opposite side of the door.

“Enjoy, baby.”

“Thanks.” Elain said, hanging up before her guilt could consume her.

She rushed across the hardwood floor, completely forgetting the fact that she was in her underwear, and opened the door a crack to see Azriel on the opposite side of the door.

“Hi.” Elain said breathlessly, taking in his wet hair and clean scent and gray sweatpants. His white t-shirt clung to his torso in a way Elain shouldn’t have noticed.

“Hey,” Azriel said in a low voice, his face touched with kindness. “I was wondering if I could borrow some sugar?” He held out an empty measuring up.

“Oh,” Elain said in surprise. “Of course, come in.” She opened the door wider and stepped aside.

As soon as Azriel clocked what she was wearing his eyes darkened and he visibly swallowed.

“Sorry to interrupt.” Azriel said, his voice slightly scratchy.

Elain shook her head, her golden curls moving with her head, and said, “You’re not interrupting. I’m just making some breakfast…I always make too much…do you want some?” She nodded to the plate of towering pancakes.

“If you don’t mind.” Azriel said, a small smile winding on his lips.

“Of course not,” Elain said, gliding back to the kitchen in a rush. “Please have a seat.” She motioned towards the table without looking at it.

She piled four pancakes on top of each other with little pads of butter between them and drizzled a generous amount of maple syrup on top before placing it in front of Azriel.

“Coffee?” She asked and as soon as Azriel nodded his head, she filled up a mug and got out the half-and-half and set it down on the table.

“Did I forget anything?” Elain asked, looking around. “Oh! Do you like blueberries?” She was about to take off again when Azriel’s warm hand clasped around her wrist.

“Elain,” He said gently and Elain felt herself melt. His hazel eyes were amused and kind as they captured her attention. “I don’t mind, but you might want to put some pants on.” His eyes flickered down to her legs before he forcefully pulled them away.

“Oh,” Her eyes widened. “Oh! I’m so sorry! Excuse me!” Elain scampered off to grab the first article of clothing she could find - her well loved plaid pajama shorts. “Please just ignore the last three minutes!”

Her cheeks were pink as she made her way back into the common area, but even though she should be dying of humiliation since she was walking around pantless in front of someone she’d talked to for a collective ten minutes — she had a feeling this story would be re-told with charm rather than embarrassment.

“You’re not eating,” She stated when she returned to the table, her brows coming together. “Is something wrong?”

“I’m just waiting for you.” Azriel said with an easy grin.

Her heart stopped as if it understood his words and didn’t quite believe it.

He was waiting for her. How many times had she made a meal for Graysen and he just started without her?

“I’m sorry,” Elain muttered, averting her eyes. “I didn’t mean to keep you waiting.” She quickly gathered her own pancakes and coffee and sat next to Azriel — well adjacent to Azriel since she sat at the head of the table and Azriel was directly to her right.

“Don’t apologize,” Azriel said, leaning forward to place a warm hand on her bare knee. “I’m just trying to be polite.”

Her eyes locked on his brown hand on her pale thigh. Little scars scattered the length of his skin to create something beautiful, but she was taken by the mere size of his hand and the way it emitted warmth.

“Sorry.” Azriel quickly took his hand back as if she burned him. “I know they can freak people out.” His cheeks were red as he cut into the fluffy pancakes with his fork, little puffs of steam floated through the air as he took a bite. “Delicious pancakes, thank you.” Azriel said as he dug back into his breakfast.

“No,” Elain said belatedly and Azriel looked at her in confusion. “I was thinking about how large your hands are,” She held up her own hand, palm facing him and wiggling her fingers. “My sisters always made fun of how small my hands are. See?”

Azriel blinked at her.

“Your hands are perfect.” Azriel declared and Elain blushed.

“Well, so are yours, but that doesn’t mean mine aren’t freakishly small.”

Azriel snorted at her.

“They’re not freakishly small, they’re just…small.” Azriel said, smiling and Elain rolled her eyes in affection.

“Let me see yours.” She motioned for him to lift his hand up and he slowly, almost sheepishly, exposed his scarred and calloused palm to her. Elain laid her palm directly against his, indulging in the feel of his hand. The warmth. The strength. She tried to not think about his hands gripping her hips, or his fingers writing on her body. She really tried not to think about that.

“Hmmm.” Elain hummed as she took in the size difference of their hands. Her fingers barely touching his and his palm noticeably larger than hers. “I can’t tell if my hand is freakishly small or if yours is freakishly big.” She half-heartedly joked.

“I don’t know, I think they fit pretty perfectly together.” Azriel said almost thickly, and Elain tore her gaze away from their hands to see him intensely staring at her.

“Me too,” Elain said, slowly — begrudgingly — taking her hand back and using it to pick up her fork to stop herself from reaching for him again. “I can reach the bottom of the Pringles can and you can open any jar. We’re a match made in heaven.”

Azriel slowly smiled at her.

“I’d have to agree.” He turned back to his breakfast, smiling into his next bite.

Conversation flowed easily after that. They talked about how Elain worked with a local florist and would love to open up her own shop one day and how she’d also worked on her social media brand online, which explained her odd working hours. Azriel talked about how he had known Cassian since they were children and that she’d meet their other friend Rhysand on Saturday — and he even mentioned the fact that Rhysand convinced his family to take Azriel and Cassian in at a young age and how the three of them were closer than brothers. Elain mentioned her two sisters, whom she loved more than life itself, so Azriel extended them an invitation to his gathering on Saturday which caused Elain’s world to instantly brighten.

“Thank you again,” Elain said as they stood by her door hours later, her hands clasped behind her back as she peered up at Azriel. “I’m sure my sisters are going to be thrilled. We never get to do anything together anymore.”

Azriel’s dark brows pulled together.

“Why’s that?” He asked.

“Graysen doesn’t really like them,” Elain explained and Azriel couldn’t stop the scowl on his face. “Anyway,” Elain pushed on before he could comment. “Thanks again for stopping by.”

Azriel raised a brow at her and said, “I ate most of your breakfast and you’re thanking me?” It’s true. Azriel went back for seconds. And thirds. But Elain smiled as she watched him enjoy her food.

“You saved me from leftovers. I have bad habits when it comes to breakfast food. I love it too much.”

“Yeah,” Azriel said, leaning in conspiratorially, “I’m like that with baked goods.”

Elain grinned widely at him.

“Those are my specialty…I’ll have to bring something on Saturday.” She bit her lip to try and stifle her smile.

“I can’t wait.” Azriel said, grinning.

They stood there grinning at each other, neither one of them moving to open the door. Both of them ignoring the still-empty measuring cup that Azriel had brought over.

“I meant what I said the other day,” Azriel said, tilting his head at her. “You can come over to my place any time.”

“I am curious to see what it looks like.” Elain admitted.

“You can come over now. I —” An alarm bursted through the air, coming from the phone tucked inside of his back pocket. Azriel sighed, his body deflating. “My shift starts in 40 minutes.”

Elain couldn’t stop the wave of disappointment that swam through her.

“Some other time than.” She mumbled.

“Some other time,” Azriel agreed and pressed his lips into her soft, plump cheek before he could stop himself. “I’ll see you later, Elain.” He said, his breath tickling her overly-sensitive skin.

“Bye.” Elain said breathlessly, watching him leave with wide eyes.

She swayed for a moment in place before she fell against the door.

— — — —

“Are you sure about this?” Feyre asked, using her nail to clean up her lipstick in the mirror.

Elain’s entire bathroom was covered in beauty products as she and her sisters got ready to go over to Azriel’s place. Even though it was casual and there was no need for them to spend so much time on hair and make up…but the Archeron sisters liked to look good, and they liked getting ready together. Some of Elain’s most favorite memories involved them getting ready together, whether it was for prom or just to go shopping. It was when they felt the most like sisters.

“Of course.” Elain said, careful not to look at Feyre or Nesta because they could easily see right through her.

“Twenty bucks says Elain gets laid by the hot fireman by the end of the week.” Nesta said slyly, carefully coating her eyelashes in mascara. The black striking against her blue eyes. It took everything in Elain not to hip check her.

“Stop it!” Elain cried, but fighting a smile as she did it.

“How many times have you done it in your head?” Feyre asked with a cat-like grin as she fluffed her golden brown hair.

Elain pursed her lips together, not willing to give either of them the satisfaction of knowing that Elain had pictured her and Azriel together in vivid, graphic detail. She simply ignored them and reached for her favorite perfume.

“A-ha!” Nesta exclaimed, sticking the mascara wand out at her sister. “That’s sex perfume!”

“It is not!” Elain laughed as she sprayed her neck. And hair. And wrists. “I just felt like this one today.” She brushed off the fact that it was her most seductive scent.

“Mmhmm,” Feyre sounded, not hiding her smile. “And then explain the sundress?”

“And the fuck-me-heels?” Nesta added on.

Her sisters smiled knowingly, almost smugly, at her.

Elain opened her mouth and closed it again, feeling oddly like a fish.

“I just want to look nice, is that a crime? And these are hardly fuck-me-heels.” Elain said and looked down at the shoes in question. “They’re wedges, so they’re casual.”

“Your nails are painted red,” Nesta said with a devious grin. “And they have straps, so you know your hot fireman will think about undoing them.”

“Please.” Elain tried to scoff and push the thought out of the room.

“She has a point,” Feyre said, nudging Elain gently with her elbow. “But it’s nice to see you all dressed up.”

“And you’re due to a good fucking,” Nesta said, finally capping the mascara. Elain started to protest but her sister continued. “Are there going to be other hot firemen at this thing?”

“Probably.” Elain said with a smile.

The sisters made their way towards the door, all of them looking beautiful in their own right. Elain wore a flower-yellow sundress which she thought made her look tan and emphasized her brown eyes. Feyre was beautiful in her denim skirt and loose cream sweater. And Nesta was stunning in tight black jeans and sleek black top. Even though they goofed on Elain for her “fuck-me-heels” she chouldn’t help but notice Feyre and Nesta also wore heels. She smiled fondly as she shut the door behind them and went over to knock on Azriel’s door.

They waited all of three seconds before the door swung open and they were greeted by an exceedingly beautiful man. One that wasn’t Azriel. Or even Cassian.

His violet eyes looked at her knowingly before breezing past her and locking onto her sister. His grin grew as keen interest sharpened in his eyes. A crisp, white button down — which seemed it was perfectly tailored to his body — was tucked into jeans, and Elain was certain his outfit cost a small fortune.

“Hi,” Elain said, forcing herself to speak up. “I’m Elain — I live across the hall. Azriel invited us over.”

At the mention of her name, Violet Eyes snapped his attention back onto her.

“I’ve heard so much about you,” He said in an amused voice and stuck his hand out to her. “I’m Rhysand. Azriel will be pleased that you’re here,” Rhysand leaned in close, and Elain could feel Feyre leaning forwards as well, wanting to be included, while Nesta just stood back and observed. “You know he threw this entire party for you.”

“Hey, don’t fuck with her,” Azriel's familiar voice floated through the air, and Rhysand’s grin had a wicked quality as he moved out of the way to let Azriel in. “And it’s not a party.”

Rhysand rolled his eyes.

Elain felt breathless as Azriel’s hazel eyes trailed up and down her body, his eyes catching on the part of her leg that touched the hem of her sundress.

“Hi.” Elain said softly as her eyes connected with Azriel’s.

A slow grin unfurled on Azriel’s lips.

“Hi.” Azriel replied, his eyes heady and smoldering.

Nesta gave a not-so-subtle clearing of her throat.

“These are my sisters,” Elain rushed out, her cheeks flaming. “Nesta,” Elain nodded her head. “And Feyre.”

“Come in,” Azriel said, sticking his hand out to Nesta and Feyre. “Nice to meet you both.”

They all found themselves crammed into the entry of Azriel’s apartment, with Elain pressed against Azriel’s side. She could feel his muscles through the thin cotton of her dress and his hand naturally settled on her hip.

“Do you guys want a drink?” Azriel asked, his mouth close to her ear. “We’ve got beer, wine, and something Cassian made called ‘jungle juice’ which Rhys and I haven’t been brave enough to try.”

Nesta let out an amused scoff.

“Is this a frat party?” Nesta asked, a hair too mockingly, but after certain looks from Feyre and Elain, Nesta shrugged and said, “I like frat parties. It’s the only place we can do body shots in public.”

Rhysand and Azriel both chuckled at that and shared a look.

“Come inside.” Azriel said, gently pushing Elain by the small of her back.

It thrilled her to be touched by him and the fact that it felt so natural and comfortable almost squashed the hair of guilt she felt worming inside of her.

Azriel wasted no time getting her alone — she barely counted the number of people that filled his living room before he got her into the kitchen which was overflowing with coolers and snack foods.

“We’re grilling burgers and hot dogs later, but I have some chicken if you’d prefer that — there’s not enough for everyone, but I can grill it just for you. Or Mor brought some pasta salad and I think there’s humus out there if you don’t eat meat. You do —”

“I’ve never heard Azriel talk this much in my life.” Cassian’s familiar voice came from behind Azriel’s irritated form.

Cassian joined them and slapped Azriel on the back.

“Elain, you’re looking stunning as ever.” Cassian said with a smile. Elain could tell that whatever interest he may have had in her fizzled out (thankfully) and he only flirted with her to get a reaction out of Azriel.

“Thanks Cassian.”

“Can we help you?” Azriel asked him irritably, and Elain was entirely too affected by the fact that he wanted to have her completely alone.

“Just getting Nesta some of my famous punch.” Cassian said, entirely too flippantly. Elain had only known him for a short amount of time, but “flip” and “Cassian” didn’t mesh together.

Azriel grinned at that, his annoyance bleeding away.

“Trying to get her drunk already?” Azriel teased and Cassian cheeks turned pink.

“Dude,” Cassian started, looking at Azriel with wide eyes as he grabbed a red plastic cup. “She actually dared me to do a shot off of her —” Azriel kicked him and nodded his head towards Elain. Cassian shot her a pained look. “Sorry Lainy.”

Elain waved him off and said, “My selective hearing is one of my best qualities.”

Cassian grinned at her, but Azriel took a step closer to her and leaned against the counter and Elain felt herself being pulled into his side by some magnetic force. Cassian kept talking, but Elain wasn’t entirely sure what about because she kept imagining Azriel putting his arm over her shoulder — and was her mind playing tricks on her, or was he gripping the counter to stop from reaching for her. If he did put his arm around her shoulder, then would he pull her in close? Would he massage the back of her neck or place his fingers in her hair? He was so close that Elain could smell his aftershave and Elain fought herself from taking a long, deep inhale.

Suddenly, Elain was hit by the weight of her crush.

She felt like she was back in high school with the giddy butterflies swarming her stomach.

“So what does she like?” Cassian’s voice finally broke through, or maybe it was the fact that Azriel kindly nudged her with his elbow.

“Huh?” Elain asked, a bit dazed from where her thoughts were taking her.

Cassian grinned at her, as if knowing exactly what she was thinking.

“Nesta,” Cassian confirmed, not commenting on how spacey Elain was being. “What does she like?”

Elain thought for a second, tossing and turning ideas over in her mind.

“Her bark is worse than her bite,” Elain said softly. “And she can be a bit prickly if someone gets too close, but she really just wants someone to like her for who she is. Someone that doesn't back down. And someone who makes her laugh.”

Cassian nodded, a drink in each hand, and Elain knew he was taking what she said to heart.

“Thanks,” Cassian said with a kind smile — which quickly turned more devious. “I’ll get of your hair before Azriel kills me like I know he wants to. He was so cute, planning this thing all week and getting pissy when we called it a ‘party’ and —”

“Alright,” Azriel said, pushing off of the counter and steering Cassian out of the kitchen with by his shoulders “Time to fuck off.”

Cassian threw his head back in a laugh, his curls flying, but he didn’t put up a fight as Azriel forced him out of the room.

When they were alone again Azriel finally turned around to face her and Elain couldn’t stop the smile that bloomed on her lips.

“I have a question,” Elain said as Azriel made his way back to her, his strong arms crossed over his chest. “Did you really do this for me?” Elain asked, her voice slightly too breathy.

Azriel moved in closer.

His nose just a hair's breadth away from her.

“Elain, I’ve lived here for four years and never had more than four other people here at a time, but now I’ve called every friend of a friend I could think of just as a cover so no one would think twice about me inviting the beautiful girl next door into my place. I even have a fucking beyond burger on deck just incase you don’t eat meat. Cassian had to talk me out of buying flowers for tonight but…” Elain couldn’t breathe. Azriel took a step away from her and opened the fridge and Elain saw a beautiful bouquet of tulips. “But Rhysand said to just give them to you tomorrow.”

“You got me tulips?” Elain asked, the air in the room turned hot and humid and thick.

“You said they were your favorite.” Azriel said, looking slightly confused.

“And you remembered.” Elain felt her face crumbling.

Graysen always got her roses. She was always grateful because it was a nice gesture, but she told herself that it was nice enough to get flowers and she shouldn’t be so picky…but it had taken Azriel an entire week to get her a bouquet of her favorite flowers. It wasn’t asking for too much to want something, and in all of two seconds Elain realized just how little she had been settling for.

“I just thought you’d like them.” Azriel shrugged and brushed a stray wavy lock out of his face.

“I love them. I —” She was about to say that she was going to break up with Graysen. Because she was going to at the first chance she got. She was tired of settling for the merest hint of attention and every scrap of affection that he bothered to throw at her. And it was so incredibly important to her that Azriel know that she’s going to end her relationship.

“Elain?”

Invisible ice slid down her back as she looked behind Azriel to see Graysen standing in the doorway, his eyes bouncing back between Elain and Azriel. An accusatory look in his eyes, one that wasn’t unfounded, but was thankfully left unspoken.

Azriel simply nodded to Graysen and closed the refrigerator door.

“Hey,” Graysen said to Azriel and walked over to Elain, interlocking his fingers with hers. “Thanks for inviting us.”

Azriel leaned against the closed refrigerator door and crossed his arms.

Elain wondered if this was something to cry about.

— — — —

She had no idea how she made it through the party, but she did. A broken heart heavy in her chest as she smiled her way through polite conversation — she felt awful watching Graysen chat and talk and be friendly knowing she was going to end what was between them. Every time he locked eyes with her he looked a bit confused and he asked if she wanted to leave about three times, but she kept saying no, not wanting to cause any type of suspicion.

They didn’t leave until almost midnight, and even then there were still people loafing around, but she had completely lost track of Feyre and Nesta. Azriel was backed into a corner by some blonde and Elain avoided the way he was desperately trying to seek her eyes as she left.

As soon as Elain closed the door to her apartment she watched as Graysen flopped onto her couch and kicked his feet onto the coffee table.

“Thank fuck that’s over.” Graysen groaned, letting his head fall back onto the couch.

“Graysen.” Elain said, unable to keep the crack out of her voice.

His body tensed as he opened his eyes, and Elain knew that he knew.

He sat up and placed his feet firmly on the ground and clasped his hands together between his knees.

“Did you fuck him?” Graysen asked, a quiet anger in his voice.

“No,” Elain said emphatically, walking over to him. “Of course not?”

“But you thought about it?” Graysen asked, his voice tight like a spring wound too far.

“I —” Elain couldn’t bring herself to lie about it, she just stood there with her hands limply at her sides.

“Fuck.” Graysen exclaimed, launching the vase of flowers on the table across the room with the flat of his hand.

Elain couldn’t help the shriek that escaped her — out of surprise more than anything else.

“I knew from the way he fucking looked at you, and the way you looked at him…I haven’t seen that look in your eyes since…well, since you looked at me for the first time.” Graysen sounded hurt and defeated and angry and Elain felt about two inches tall.

A heavy thumping came from her door followed quickly by Azriel’s voice calling out for her name.

“Great,” Graysen said, standing and gripping his hair. “Fucking great we can’t even break up without him being here.”

Graysen took a step towards the door, but Elain held out a hand to stop him and rushed towards the door in case he made a charge for it.

Elain cracked open the door to see a worried and concerned Azriel.

“Are you ok?” Azriel asked, his eyes looking her over from top to bottom to make sure she wasn’t harmed. “I heard you scream.”

“I’m fine,” Elain assured him and forced a smile. “Just, um, surprised. But I’m ok. I promise.”

Azriel’s intense hazel eyes looked behind her, zeroing in on Graysen, and Elain watched as a dark cloud descended on his face.

“We’ll talk tomorrow?” Azriel asked and Elain nodded, quickly shutting the door.

Elain turned around and rested her back against the door.

“At least you’ll be in good hands.” Graysen said bitterly, walking towards the door.

“Grayen,” Elain pleaded, staring up at him. “Don’t end it like this.”

He smiled cruelly at her and said, “You’re the one that ended it.”

He didn’t push her out of the way necessarily, but he definitely pushed past her.

For some reason, Elain followed him into the hall, it seemed like the polite thing to do. Like she was sad to see him go — and she was sad. She wasn’t sure if she was sad Graysen was leaving or sad that she spent so much of her life with him and now he was going to be nothing more than a memory.

“Oh great, you’re here,” Graysen said, almost laughing in absurdity. “Of course you’re still here.”

Azriel’s eyes didn’t move from Graysen, carefully tracking his every move.

“You didn’t have to stay.” Elain said, melting a bit at the gesture.

“I wanted to.” Azriel said, his face and voice utterly neutral, making it clear that he didn't want to escalate anything.

Elain watched the muscle popping in Graysen’s jaw, and he took one step at Azriel before turning and storming down the hall.

“She’s not worth it.” Graysen muttered before turning the corner.

Elain and Azriel stood in a heavy silence, broken only by two drunken party goers leaving Azriel’s apartment and he nodded goodbye to them as they stumbled down the hallway.

“We broke up,” Elain blurted out as soon as they were alone again. “I broke up with him,” Azriel nodded, his eyes wide as he processed what Elain said. More drunken revelry was happening in Azriel’s apartment and before they could be interrupted again Elain motioned to her apartment. “Want to come in?”

Azriel nodded and followed her inside. His eyes immediately took in the broken glass, water, and limp flowers on the floor.

“The scream?” Azriel asked with a raised eyebrow and Elain nodded shyly.

“I was surprised.” Elain said, about to spring into action to clean up the mess, but Azriel was already kneeling down and picking up the shards of glass.

“Don’t cut yourself,” Elain rushed around getting the dustpan and trashcan before kneeling next to him. “You don’t have to do this, Azriel.”

She swept up some of the glittering pieces of glass and Azriel dumped a handful of them in the trash can.

“I want to help you, Elain,” Azriel said meaningfully, and Elain felt two hot, salty tears slide down her face. “In any way I can.”

“Thank you,” Elain said, clearing her throat and clearing it again because somehow it became harder to breathe. “Thanks.”

“You don’t have to thank me, Elain.” Azriel said softly, picking up the last few large pieces of glass. After a quiet pause he softly asked, “What happened?”

Elain couldn’t look him in the eyes as she wondered how to answer him.

“You,” She said as she swept a sad-looking rose into the dustpan. “Your tulips. I just — I realized how much our relationship was over, you know? How empty it actually was. I just couldn’t pretend anymore.”

Elain swept up the last of the damage before finally looking Azriel in the eye.

“You remembered I liked tulips,” Elain said with a shrug. “He never did.”

“He’s a fucking idiot.” Azriel said gruffly.

Elain shrugged and was about to say something in response — she wasn’t sure what, but somebody hollered for Azriel out in the hall.

“Are you ok?” Azriel asked, standing. Outstretching a hand to Elain to help her stand.

“I’ll be fine.” Elain said, forcing a smile. A smile that melted into a very real one before Azriel placed a kiss on the back of her hand.

Azriel’s name was called again and he begrudgingly left her apartment.

Elain took a shower and tried not to think too much about what the hell happened, and listened to music that both helped her wallow in her sadness and made her feel a little less alone and eventually she managed to fall asleep. Before she slipped into her dreams she remembered the plate of cookies she made especially for Azriel, wanting to hold off until the party was over to give them to him.

When she woke up the next morning, it was to Azriel knocking at her door holding a bouquet of tulips and a little shot of espresso.

#The Tortured Bats Department #elriel #elain x azriel #elain archeron #pro elriel #azriel #elriel fanfiction #elriel fanfic #fawnandshadows writing #elriel month #elriel month 2024

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tswaney17 · 16 days

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I Do Bad Things with You - Part 49

It's here!!! The final part of this massive fic. 😭 I can't believe we're finally at the end. I'm still in shock that I get to close the door on this fic that has taken up the last three years of my life. I have so many emotions running through me right now. 🥺

The epilogue will be posted during @elriel-month in addition to a little surprise I'm so excited to share with you. Stay tuned!! 💜💙💚

My fanfic account: @tswaney17fics

My ao3 account: tswaney17

Please let me know what you think about this update. I love getting your feedback. Constructive criticism is always welcome. 💕

Catch up here.

Credit to @featherymalignancy for Cassian’s nickname, Cash. 😘

Trigger warnings: violence, sexual assault , language, NSFW

This part also features descriptions of birth and complications from it.

Word Count: 7,225

Elain had spent a good portion of the late morning getting ready for the baby shower scheduled for noon. At just over eight months pregnant, they were cutting close to the wire of the twins’ arrival.

She was beyond exhausted. Growing the babies was work enough, but she ached everywhere at this point. Her boobs, her hips, her ankles. Her back…that hurt the worst. She looked like she swallowed two extra large watermelons. Elain hadn’t seen her feet in two and half months and she was praying that her toenails looked well enough for sandals today.

On top of her aching body, she also slept like shit the night before, having woken up in the wee hours with Braxton Hicks contractions that seemed to never want to go away. They were getting obnoxious at this point.

Oh! And her boobs had already started leaking. Aside from the contractions, Elain also woke up to a soaked sleep shirt and an attitude that poor Azriel was desperately trying to keep calm. She felt bad that her irritation got directed at him, but he took her mood swings in stride, giving her the space when she needed it, and focusing on taking care of Kaden and getting him ready for the party.

Her husband knocked lightly before entering their bedroom, shutting the door behind him and locking it when he saw her standing there in an ugly pair of panties and a strapless bra—which she had no idea how it was going to hold up her tits, but here they were. “Hello, my love. How are you doing?” he asked, striding further into their room. He was already dressed in black slacks and a white button-down rolled up to his elbows. It was one of her favorite looks on him. Casual but classy and sexy as hell.

“I’m all right. Better than this morning,” which was true. In the time she took to get ready, she felt her irritation slowly dissipate. “I’m sorry for snapping at you.”

He gifted her a soft smile he reserved only for her and their children. “El, you’re carrying two babies. You’re allowed to let out your frustrations. I’m here to spar if you need it, you know that.”

She knew he meant spar as in letting her yell and shout and hiss words until she felt better while he just took it. Gods, he really was the perfect husband. Elain held out her coco butter lotion towards him. “Do you mind rubbing this on me and helping me dress?”

Azriel took the bottle from her outstretched hands, dropping a sweet kiss on her plump lips before squirting some into his scarred palms and gently rubbing it all over her swollen stomach. He knelt before her, dutifully getting every inch of her covered. “You are so beautiful, Elain,” he murmured, kissing her at the fullest part of her belly.

She snorted. “I am a beached whale who ate too much.”

“You are a gorgeous woman carrying life inside of her womb. That will always be beautiful, sweetheart.”

How he always knew what to say was beyond her, but she tugged him up off the ground to kiss him thoroughly. It should’ve annoyed her with how just a few sweeps of Azriel’s tongue had every concern and irritation simply melt away. He knew when to play that card and fuck did he play it well.

But even his tongue couldn’t stop the hiss of pain as another contraction wracked her body.

He immediately pulled back at the sound, eyes scanning her face. “Are you all right?” he asked, concern etched into the tone.

She breathed through the wave that tightened in her abdomen. “Braxton Hicks contractions,” she said as an explanation.

His brows shot into his hairline. “Do we need to go to the hospital?”

Elain reached up to cup his cheek in her palm, her thumb swiping over the stubble there. “No, it’s a normal thing this late in the pregnancy. I’ve had a few this morning starting before dawn. It’s why I was grouchy.”

Understanding lit his face and he carefully ran his hand down her stomach again. “Why didn’t you wake me this morning?”

She huffed a laugh. “Because I knew you’d go into full-birthing-dad-mode and neither one of us would’ve slept any longer.”

Azriel shot her an unamused glare. “You will be thanking me for that birthing-dad mode when you’re in labor and I have everything packed up within minutes.”

This time Elain laughed loud and joyfully. “Yes, you’re probably right.” She nodded to the dress on the bed. “Help me slip that on?”

He grabbed the fabric, bunching it in his large fists, and pulled it over her head. It was an off-the-shoulder, loose, pale pink cotton dress, decorated with roses. It looked vintage, gathering just under her bust, with oversized puffy sleeves that sat off her shoulders, over her biceps. Ruffles accentuated the bottom hem, emphasizing the vintage style. It was the perfect spring dress. When Elain first saw it at the store, she knew she had to buy it for the shower.

Azriel tugged her loose curls from the back of the dress, letting them brush against her spine. He placed a kiss on her bare shoulder before grabbing the rose-pendant necklace he bought to go with the dress and draping it around her delicate neck. “Perfect,” he murmured onto her skin, his smile pressing against her neck.

Elain sighed softly, reaching up to thread her fingers through his dark hair. “How am I still horny for you?”

He nipped at her throat, a rumble shaking his chest. “Because you know I can deliver what you need without even blinking.”

This time she laughed, letting his hands run across her body in possessive little touches.

Azriel brazenly cupped her sex through the dress, growling as she let out a mewling sound and began to writhe against those skilled fingers, searching for the friction she desperately craved. “Would you like to fuck my hand, love?” he murmured, mouth grazing her jaw.

Elain fell slack against him, letting his strength hold her up. “Az,” she breathed, eyes fluttering shut as he began to rub her in earnest. “Please.”

He nipped the curve of her ear, tugging the lobe between his teeth. “You beg so prettily, El.” Bunching up the dress in a fist, Azriel slid her panties aside, swiping his fingers over her soaked pussy. “Fuck, baby. You’re so wet for me. Always desperate for my touch.”

She gripped him, nails digging into his exposed forearms. “I need—I need,” she panted out, wiggling in his hold. “Please, Az.”

Giving her exactly what she wanted—needed—Azriel sunk his middle finger into her aching cunt, pumping once before adding a second digit. “Such a good girl,” he whispered, thrusting in and out of her. The heel of his palm grazed her clit sending bolts of pleasure up her spine.

Elain bit her lip, stifling the moan that threatened to burst from her. His fingers scraped along that special spot inside of her, building her up and up and up until she teetered on the edge of bliss.

Barely conscious of her surroundings, Elain caught the sound of the door handle jiggling, followed by a “Momma!”

Azriel clapped a hand over her mouth as he continued his machinations. “Momma’s getting dressed, Kaden. We’ll be out in a minute,” he called out, pressing his palm firmly on her clit and sending her spiraling into her orgasm.

Too far gone to care, she tumbled into sweet oblivion, coming hard on his fingers. Elain moaned, only quieted by the muffling against her husband’s scarred hand.

He worked her through her release, slowing his movements when she started to come down from her high. Az peppered her skin with sweet kisses, removing his fingers from her pussy and readjusting her panties back into place before letting the dress fall back down. “Better, my love?”

“I’m gonna have to change my underwear, but yes.” She twisted in his arms, catching him sucking his fingers clean. Elain brought his mouth down to hers, tongue licking the drop of her release dotting his bottom lip. “Thank you, husband.”

He smiled into their kiss, deepening it once more. “I’ll go check on Kaden while you finish up. We’ll head out when you’re done.”

Twenty minutes later, they were in the car on their way to Rhys and Feyre’s place. It was a gorgeous day full of sunshine, the air warm with the oncoming of summer. It was as if even the Mother wanted to grace her presence on that day with her radiance. They really couldn’t have asked for a more beautiful day for a baby shower.

“Momma?” Kaden called from the back seat. “Where are we going?”

His speech had improved so much since they first brought him home that the therapist they hired had told them after the end of the school year, that he likely wouldn’t need to continue seeing a specialist to catch him up. He was reading and writing the way a five-year-old should be and was on track to pass kindergarten with flying colors.

She glanced over her shoulder at him. “Remember how we talked about going to Aunt Feyre and Uncle Rhys’s for the baby shower today.”

He seemed to think about that. “What’s a baby shower?”

Her lips quirked up at his curious mind. Thankfully, he hadn’t asked about where babies came from again. “It’s a party to celebrate the upcoming arrival of your brother and sister.” Her hand came to rest on her belly instinctively.

His face scrunched up. “Will I have to take a bath again?”

Azriel let out a snort, glancing at her. “It’s a fair question.”

She laughed. “No, sweetheart. Not that kind of shower. To shower with love. The party is just to celebrate the babies before they arrive.”

“Will there be cake?” he asked, excitement lighting up his face at the prospect of sweets.

“For my sister’s sake, there better be.” Elain’s late-stage pregnancy craving was anything sweet. Cookies, cakes, pastries, whatever she could get her hands on, she was eating it. Azriel was barely able to keep the pantry stocked with desserts for her to snack on.

Her husband chuckled. “If she doesn’t, we’ll stop by a bakery on our way home and get each of you a cake. How’s that sound?” he asked, grasping her hand and bringing it to his mouth to kiss her knuckles.

She grinned. “You spoil me.”

He looked at her then. “You deserve to be spoiled.”

They were fashionably late to their baby shower, and Elain completely blamed her husband’s morning sexual charade for the delay in their arrival. Not that she minded at all. She had another Braxton Hick contraction in the car, Azriel eying her with worry and once again asking if they should make a pitstop at the hospital just in case.

But that would’ve made them even more late and Elain knew it was unnecessary.

All of their friends and family were waiting for their arrival. And she hated being late.

“What am I going to do with you gone for six months, Elain?” Thesan teased, taking a sip of his beer.

She shot a devilish grin at the head nurse sitting on the couch across from her. “I’m sure Viv would love to pick up all the slack.”

Viviane squawked in outrage and pointed a menacing finger in her direction. “Don’t put your work on me while you’re enjoying your babymoon, Elain Archeron-Knight.”

The group laughed as she pushed herself up off the couch. Another contraction hit her and she winced, catching the attention of the sharp-eyed nurse. But before she could ask, Kaden came bounding up to her, tugging on the skirt of her dress.

“Momma, can I have a cake pop?” He looked up at her with those damn puppy eyes he knew she couldn’t resist.

Elain ran a hand through his hair. “Sure, sweetie. Only one. You don’t want to spoil your appetite for Uncle Cassian’s good barbeque.”

Said uncle was out in the backyard tending to the grill with her husband, Rhys, and the Moonbeam brothers because, apparently, that’s where men gathered. Aelin and Rowan had joined them, the former getting an eyebrow raise from Azriel at her company’s appearance.

She made her way to the kitchen, hoping to perhaps score one of those cake pops herself—she was the guest of honor, surely she could snag one too. Feyre, Nuala, and Cerridwen had been busy putting together the final touches for lunch and were just waiting for Cassian’s proteins to serve food.

But just as she reached the breakfast bar, a wave of excruciating pain washed over her. Catching herself on the counter, Elain gripped the side of her stomach, groaning loud enough that the other room went silent. And then she felt it. Liquid surged between her legs, puddling the floor beneath her.

No. No, it was too soon. They couldn’t be coming already.

Viviane rounded the corner from the living room as Feyre and the twins approached her.

Somebody breathed her name, but she couldn’t decipher who it was over the blood rushing in her ears.

More footsteps sounded as her friends and family came from the living room to see what was going on.

“Elain.” It was Feyre’s voice that broke through the fog of fear that had clouded her, but she was too numb to respond. Too nervous. “Somebody get Azriel!”

Her panic grew and her breathing turned shallow. It was too soon. She wasn’t ready, wasn’t prepared enough. The anxiety of giving birth hit her like a freight train.

She couldn’t do this.

She couldn’t.

~~~~~

Azriel took a swig of his beer, rolling his eyes at the cad comment Rhys made. His tanned skin warmed in the sunlight even with the sleeves of his button-down rolled up to his elbows. With a glance at the large window, he caught Elain rising from her spot on the couch, Kaden gripping her dress to speak with her.

Gods, that fucking dress. Elain looked like a maternal goddess in it, emphasizing her swollen belly, brimming with the life of his children. Az never realized he had a breeding kink until he and Elain got back together. His desire to fill her with his seed, to watch her grow with life had him hardening in his pants.

Now at eight months, she had reached the stage where little things irked the hell out of her. Honestly, her temper was cute as hell, but he tried to be considerate of her exhaustion and short-fuse, offering himself up to take the heat of her ire. It was only fair—he’s the one that got her pregnant.

It may have made him a primitive, alpha-douchebag, but fuck did he love to see her waddling around, pregnant and barefoot in their home. She was already such a wonderful mother to their boy, Kaden. Cassian had been right. He was so incredibly grateful for Elain’s maternal instinct.

“Something caught your eye, brother?” Cassian taunted, grinning. His brother knew exactly what he was looking at. Or whom.

He shot him a dry look that had Cash chuckling.

“If she wasn’t already pregnant, I’d say that look alone could’ve knocked her up,” he teased. “Who knew you had such a kink, Az.”

Azriel opened his mouth to retort, but the sliding glass door opening caught his attention.

Nuala peeked her head out, a worried look on her face that had his stomach tightening in knots. “Azriel! Get in here now!”

But he was already moving, dropping his drink on the table and running after her into the house, his brothers and friends hot on his heels. He froze in the entryway of the kitchen, taking in the scene for a split second before his eyes settled on Elain bent over the counter, a puddle of clear liquid beneath her.

His feet ate up the space between them in three long strides, her name falling from his lips as he cupped her face and forced her gaze on his. Azriel prided himself in knowing exactly what Elain was feeling, what she was thinking by just the look on her face. He read her better than he did himself. So, seeing the blatant apprehension and worry written as clearly as a tattoo on her forehead had his heart racing in his chest.

Her eyes were wet with the tears he could tell she was trying to hold back.

“Love,” he said quietly, unsure how to proceed at the moment.

She blinked like hearing him cleared a bit of the fog that had washed over her. “Azriel.” Her voice cracked.

He folded her into his arms, trying to soothe whatever worries were troubling her. “You’re okay, my love.”

Elain seemed to melt in his embrace, her tension slowly ebbing away the longer he held her. He gave her whatever time she needed, ignoring the audience they had around them, but it was long enough for another contraction to hit. She cried out, gripping his hand in hers and squeezing tight.

Viviane snapped into action at that. “Azriel, her contractions are about nine minutes apart now. She’s going to have at least two more by the time you reach the hospital.”

“No hospitals,” Elain growled.

That had him pulling back to look down at her. “El, the babies are coming—”

“No. Hospitals.” He could see the wavering in her face. “I—,” she paused, hesitating. “They’re not ready. It’s too early. Too soon. They can’t come out yet…” Her head fell until she was looking at the wetness still sitting on the floor. “I’m not ready,” Elain whispered so quietly, that he almost missed it.

Azriel knew that was nerves speaking. While Kaden made them parents, the idea of giving birth to the twins was the primary source of her fear. The books he read said that many expectant mothers experienced this type of anxiety right around the time they went into labor. If they were going to have any success in her having a smooth birth, Azriel needed to get her to calm down. He glanced at Cassian. “Can you get her a chair?”

His brother grabbed one from the dining room, setting it out for Az to carefully guide Elain into. He knelt in front of her, keeping her hands clasped firmly in his. “Elain, sweetheart,” her dark eyes latched onto his, needing to hear his reassurance. He kept his voice low, wishing they didn’t have to have this conversation in front of their friends and family.

Rhys seemed to sense that and began ushering people out of the room. “Let’s give the couple a few minutes.”

He shot his brother a grateful look before returning his attention to Elain. “Sweetheart, I know you’re scared. I know it’s earlier than we were expecting. But if there is one thing that I am certain of is that you can do this.” He squeezed her hands in comfort. “You are the strongest person I know. You’ve been through so much that once all is said and done, you’re going to look at me and tell me that this was the easy part. I promise you that if anyone can do this, it’s you. And I will be right by your side for every step, holding your hand, giving you ice chips, and bearing whatever you need me to bear to bring our children into the world.”

She sniffed, a small smile tugging at her lips. “You’re sure?”

“Without a doubt, Elain. You can do this.” He brought their joined hands up to his mouth, kissing her fingers and letting her absorb whatever confidence she needed. “So, what do you say? Are you ready to have our babies, love?”

Elain huffed a laugh, his words settling the nerves she had. “Yes, let’s go have our babies,” she breathed, her grin taking over her entire face, lasting all of thirty seconds before a look of panic took root once more. “Az, the birthing bag is still at the house.”

He let out an undignified snort. “Do you think after having that contraction in front of me this morning, I’d leave the house without having absolutely everything packed and ready to go? Come on, baby, you know me better than that. It’s all in the back of the car.”

She blinked in surprise. “The birthing bag and my pillow?”

“In the car,” he confirmed.

“Kaden’s overnight bag?”

“In the car.”

“The car seats for the twins?”

He scoffed. “You know I installed those weeks ago, try again.”

Her lips quired up at the corner. “What about the slippers I was wearing this morning?” she asked, thinking she had him.

Az rolled his eyes in playful exasperation. “I grabbed them when I snagged the birthing bag.” He kissed her hands again. “I’ve got you, love.”

And then she was leaning forward, kissing him with so much love and devotion, he felt it down to the soul she brought back to life. The sound of their family’s cheers forced them apart, a pretty blush dusting the tops of Elain’s cheeks, but she didn’t dare look away from him.

Without looking away from her, Azriel reached into his pocket, pulled out his keys, and tossed them to Rhys. “Can you grab Kaden’s bag from the trunk? The one with dinosaurs. And then Elain’s purple one as well.”

Elain’s brows furrowed in confusion. “Why is he grabbing mine?”

His lips pulled up into a knowing grin, brushing the shell of her ear as he leaned forward to whisper, “I thought you might like to change your underwear and put on a maternity pad for the ride to the hospital.”

Her cheeks heated in embarrassment, but she nodded in agreement.

A little body shuffled closer. “Momma?” Kaden murmured, looking so very worried over the state of his mother.

She held her arms out, motioning him forward. “C’mere sweetheart.” Elain tucked him into her chest, kissing the top of his head. “You’re going to stay here with Aunt Feyre and Uncle Rhys while Daddy and I go to the hospital to have your brother and sister.”

He looked up at her with those puppy-dog eyes and damn, the kid knew how to work them. “But I want to go with you!” His lower lip quivered and Azriel could tell he was on the verge of tears.

But his wife took it in stride, cupping his little face in her palms and swiping her thumbs across his cheeks. “I know, sweetheart. I know you do. But you’ll have a much better time here with your aunt and uncle. Momma’s not going to be fun to be around until your siblings are here.” She kissed his plump cheek. “But I promise that you will be the first to see us once they arrive. Okay?”

Feyre stepped forward, reaching out a hand for their son. “Come on, Kaden. We’ll have lots of fun eating all the desserts left over.” She shot them a wink when he finally relented, taking her fingers.

After cleaning her up as best as he could and getting her a maternity pad from her bag, he and Elain were in the car on the way to the hospital. As Viviane predicted, she had two more contractions on the way, grabbing his offered hand and the “oh shit” bar as she groaned her way through it. And then promptly went into a third one right as they arrived.

Az timed them out, still sitting about nine minutes apart. “Breathe, baby. Good, love. Just like that.” His thumb grazed the back of her hand. Her grip was tight, on the verge of painful, but he didn’t dare let his face flinch or show an ounce of discomfort. She needed his strength and that’s exactly what he was going to give her.

They were immediately escorted to their private room and Elain’s vitals were checked over. She was sitting at only two centimeters dilated, which meant they were looking at being there for a bit.

Between her contractions, he swapped out his clothes for a fitted black t-shirt and grey sweatpants to get more comfortable and then sent a text to their siblings to notify them that they were in and settled, but it would be a while before they would have any progress.

“Can you check in with Kaden?” Elain asked, taking a scoop of ice chips from her cup.

The corner of his lips curled up at the question. “I already did. Feyre said he wouldn’t leave the front window for a while and had to persuade him with his baby cousin and a lot of sweet treats.”

She snorted, shaking her head. “He’s going to have a mouth full of cavities before we get home.” Elain twisted to look at him. “Do you think we made the right decision by not letting him come with us? It sounds like he’s waiting for us to return. I know that some families let their little ones be present for the birth of their siblings and we discussed it—”

He interrupted her train of thought. “I think we made the right call, love. We’re going to be here for a while and we both know that things can upset him. I don’t know how well he’d handle watching you go through that.”

She nodded but didn’t look very convinced.

Azriel reached for her hand, covering it with his own and squeezing her fingers. “He’s safe and well-cared for. Remember that while we focus on bringing his little brother and sister into the world.” He brushed his lips over her knuckles in a sweet kiss.

Elain smiled softly at him. “Okay.”

And so, they waited.

Per his wife’s birthing plan, she wanted to attempt to go natural. Azriel admired her strength and resilience in doing so. But after over sixteen hours of hard labor, he could see her resolve fading.

He stroked her cheek, fingers brushing hair behind her ear. “Talk to me, sweetheart.”

Dark circles already lined the underneath part of her eyes. She looked so weary. “I’m so tired, Az.” Her voice came out nearly broken and fuck if that didn’t just rip his beating heart from his chest.

Kissing her forehead, he murmured, “Do you want to get the epidural? It’ll help you get some much-needed rest before the delivery.” As of now, she was only at seven centimeters and the doctor had said it could still be a while longer until she reached a full ten.

Her chin dipped in confirmation. “Please.”

Azriel didn’t waste time calling for the nurse. Within ten minutes, he watched as a grossly large needle was inserted into her back, sending that relief washing over her. He peppered her face with kisses during the procedure, murmuring words of praise and comfort in her ear as she gritted her teeth through it.

Elain spent the next eight hours in a fitful sleep, dosing off and waking up not long after each time. Azriel didn’t bother to try and sleep, not when she wasn’t really getting much at all.

But finally, after just past nine, she was fully dilated and ready to push.

His wife pushed and pushed and pushed for a half hour with nothing to show for it. She was in tears, frustrated, and so exhausted he was practically supporting all her weight having slid an arm around her shoulders to keep her upright.

“I can’t, I can’t,” she sobbed, half burying her face into his chest.

“You can, love. You’re so strong. Just a little bit more,” he tried to reassure her. It fucking killed him to see her like this.

“Can’t you do it for me?” she pleaded, looking up at him with wild, desperate eyes.

He gripped her cheek in his palm, kissing her temple. “You know I would, El. I would give anything to switch places with you right now. But I know you can do this. Just a few more pushes and then they’ll be here.”

Whatever she read within his words seemed to do the trick, her brows furrowing with a determination he hadn’t seen since they left the house. Elain pushed herself up, trying to get into a kneeling position, and he was right there, sliding behind her and supporting her weight.

The nurses squawked, muttering something about hospital policy, but frankly, he did not give a fuck, snarling, “Her body is telling her to push like this. Listen to your fucking patient.”

Changing the position was exactly what she needed because their son was born within the next two contractions, entering the world with a healthy set of lungs.

They sagged back against the pillows, his face wet with tears as they placed their new baby directly on Elain’s bared chest. He couldn’t stop himself from tipping her head back to kiss her softly on the lips, pausing the savor the moment.

Az traced the pads of his fingers over the curve of their boy’s cheek, just needing to touch him to prove he was here with them. Even covered in fluids, he was so beautiful. The perfect blend of the two of them.

The nurses gave them just a few minutes with the first baby before Doctor Chen said that she needed to start pushing again. She took their boy from Elain’s arms, promising to bring him back for Azriel after he was cleaned up and their daughter was born.

Delivery of their little girl went easier than with their son. But whereas their boy came out crying, their daughter came out silent.

Azriel knew something was wrong just by the silence, but it only grew the anxiety in his stomach when the doctor turned her back on them, taking their little one with her to work on.

“She’s not crying,” Elain breathed, worry clouding her voice.

He could only squeeze her shoulders in comfort, watching as they shoved things into her nose and mouth.

“Suction,” Chen ordered.

“Azriel, why isn’t she crying?”

“She’s going to be okay, love. They’re helping her. She’s okay.” The words passed his lips even as his heart dropped into his stomach when they started doing compressions on her tiny body.

No.

This couldn’t be happening. They couldn’t lose her. It would kill him to lose his little girl, but Elain, fuck, he couldn’t even begin to fathom the devastation she would face at this loss. There was nothing he could do. He couldn’t pay to fix this or threaten someone to save their baby girl.

So, he did what any father would do.

He prayed.

He prayed to every god, every deity, everything, and anything he could think of to keep his little girl safe and bring her back to them. To take her place if they demanded it. A life for a life. He’d pay it for his child, his family. “Come on,” he murmured. “Come on, baby. Come on.”

Elain curved her face into the side of his chest, howling in a way he’d never heard from her before.

His arms went around her, that dreaded feeling turning his blood cold. The terror he felt of their little one dead before she lived was unlike anything he’d ever experienced. But still, he did not stop praying, clutching Elain’s shaking body to his. “Come on, little one. Come on!” he chanted. “Please.”

And then, a rattled cough tore from her tiny body, followed by the sweet, beautiful sound of her cry.

Elain’s wail turned into relieved sobs, as the doctor walked over their bundled little girl and placed her into his wife’s awaiting arms.

“Somebody was just so excited to meet you, she took a breath a little too early, but we cleared out her passages and lungs and she looks good now.”

His wife tucked their daughter into her chest, kissing the top of her head. “Hi sweet girl, Momma’s here,” she whispered, tears still falling down her cheeks. Tears that matched the ones running down his face.

She was here. His baby girl. Fuck, she looked just like him, with dark hair and tanned skin. He hadn’t gotten a look at her eyes yet, but already she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

“Here you go, Mr. Archeron-Knight,” one of the other nurses said, pulling his attention from his wife and daughter as she handed him his son, cleaned up and wrapped in a soft blanket.

The small bundle was gently laid in the crook of his elbow. Azriel didn’t think he’d ever feel the amount of love he did on Kaden’s adoption day, but sitting here with his gorgeous wife, holding their newborn twins, he felt his heart soar in his chest.

Sweaty and fatigued, Elain glanced up at his face, the sweetest, exhausted smile pulling on her lips. “I love you,” she murmured.

He let out a sound that was a cross between a chuckle and a sob. “I love you more.” And then he kissed her, sealing that moment in time with his undying love for her.

~~~~~

Elain woke to the sound of a whimpering cry, swiftly followed by Azriel’s low voice.

“Hey, sweet girl. What’s wrong, huh?” She heard some shuffling as her husband lifted their daughter from the nursery bed. “Momma needs her sleep so we need to be quiet.” He kept his voice low enough to not disturb her—fuck she loved him so much—but she was already awake, rolling over in the hospital bed to face him.

Azriel holding his children was, hands down, the sexiest thing she’d ever seen. How she could even feel the need for him after pushing two babies out of her currently aching and severely injured body was beyond her, but just watching him bounce their fussing daughter made all those desires come roaring to the surface.

Almost as if he could sense her presence, hazel eyes slid to hers. “I’ve got her, love. Go back to sleep.” His voice remained soft as night as if anything louder would disturb her.

She curled up on her side, watching him. “I think we should get used to no sleep now.”

He huffed a laugh, patting Rosalie on her back as she further settled into the crook of his elbow.

Their daughter was almost two pounds smaller than her brother, coming in right at five whereas Ryder was a healthy six pounds, fourteen ounces. The doctor was a little concerned over Rosalie’s lower birth weight, but Elain had managed to get both babies to latch and feed earlier and she ate well, so they were mainly playing it by ear.

Because of her smaller size, Azriel already placed an order for some preemie clothes and sent a photo of her with the twins to their siblings. They asked to give them a day to recuperate before coming to the hospital in the morning. After the scare with Rosalie, both she and Azriel wanted to take some time to spend with the babies. Plus, the medical team was in and out of their room, taking Rosalie for some additional tests just to be sure everything looked good.

It was just after seven that night, and they were settling in for the evening. Tired of hospital food, Azriel ordered hamburgers from DoorDash for them to eat. Elain was starving and it sounded so good that she drooled when she suggested it to him. Both babies had been fed only an hour earlier and she anticipated not having another feeding till late evening or early morning.

Elain grabbed whatever sleep she could, knowing she’d need it when they were released in a couple of days, but she was sure Azriel hadn’t slept a wink since she’d gone into labor.

She pushed herself up, reclining on her pillows. The nurses cleaned her after the delivery and stitched her up from tearing, but Elain couldn’t wait to get home and take a proper shower. “Does she need to be changed?” she asked, nodding to the now-sleeping baby in her husband’s arms.

Azriel shook his head. “No, I think she was just fussing.” His dark hair was still mussed up from when he stripped out of his shirt earlier, taking time for skin-to-skin contact with each of the twins.

Elain had to rein in her laugh at how the nurse blushed as he revealed miles of gloriously tanned, tattooed skin and corded muscle. Her husband was a fine specimen, but he never flaunted it, so seeing another woman react to it was humorous especially since he didn’t even seem to notice her blushing, stammering state.

“You should sleep too, Az,” she said instead.

He looked at her, his lips curving up. It had been doing that a lot since the birth of the twins. The sweetest, smallest smile that crept up the corners of his mouth. Almost as if he didn’t even realize he was doing it. It was utterly adorable and made him look younger. “I’ll rest later. You need it more than me.”

Her shoulders shook in amusement. “You know, we can sleep when they do.”

“I just don’t want to miss a second of them.” His attention returned to his little girl who already had him wrapped around her finger. To be fair, all of their children did. “Fuck, I can’t believe they’re here already. It seems like it was only a month ago you found out you were pregnant.”

“I can’t believe our first anniversary is coming up in just a handful of weeks.”

At that, he laughed. “I guess a trip for our anniversary is out of the question?”

She grinned. “Not unless all our little ones are coming with us.” Because like hell was she going to be able to leave them so soon. Plus with her nursing, it just wouldn’t be ideal.

He seemed to consider her. “We could take the jet to the Summer District. Kaden will be out of school then and we’ll both still be out on leave. Just a thought.”

Gods, he was fucking perfect. “That might be nice.”

A knock on the door interrupted whatever he was going to say. He frowned in confusion, looking at her.

Elain shrugged, sitting up further on her bed. “Come in,” she called out.

She thought it might be a nurse or a doctor, coming to check on her or the twins. What she didn’t expect was for Rhys to peek his head into the room. Surprise lit her features and she glanced at Azriel, who looked equally as bewildered at the sudden visit from their brother.

“Hey,” Rhys said. “I apologize for dropping by unannounced, but somebody really couldn’t wait till tomorrow to see you.” He opened the door slightly, revealing Kaden clutching a teddy bear, eyes puffy and red from crying.

Her heart ached at the distress their son must’ve been in for Rhys to come all the way here. “Hello sweetheart,” she said, keeping her voice soft. “Come here, my love.”

He took a small step further into the room, Rhys’s hand guiding him at the backside of his head. Kaden took slow steps as he approached the side of her bed. “Momma, are you sick?”

She reached out to cup his cheek in her palm. “No, baby. I’m not sick. Your brother and sister decided it was time to come out of my tummy.” Her eyes found Azriel’s as he rose from his seat on the couch, moving toward them. “Would you like to meet them?” she asked, returning her gaze to Kaden’s.

His head dipped in confirmation.

Elain pushed herself back even more. “Rhys, can you help him up and then grab me that flat pillow over there.”

He set the boy on the bed between her spread legs, Kaden shuffling backward and bumping into her sensitive lower area.

She hissed out in pain before she could stop herself. A wave of agony washed over her with enough intensity that her stomach curdled with nausea.

Azriel reacted immediately. “Easy, buddy. Momma’s going to be sore for a while and we need to be extra careful with her.”

“I’m okay,” she spoke quickly, not wanting to upset Kaden any more than he already was, and kissed his plump cheek as she breathed through the pain. “Okay, Rhys. Place the pillow over our laps.”

Adjusting his arms in preparation, Azriel gently lowered their daughter until she comfortably rested on the nursing pillow.

“Kaden, this is your sister, Rosalie,” he announced, letting his finger stroke her rounded cheek.

Elain couldn’t see his face directly, but she did catch his eyes widening as he stared down at her, his fingers carefully tracing over her delicate features just as his father did.

“Rosawee,” he said, not quite catching the ending syllable. It would be something they would have to work on. When she kicked a leg within her swaddle, he pulled his hand back, startled.

She laughed, feeling the bed dip as Azriel sat down next to them, bringing over their son. “And this is your brother, Ryder.”

He reached out to trace the outline of his brows, the touch gentle and exploratory. “I’m a brother?” he asked, turning his head to look up at her.

“That’s right sweetheart. You’re their big brother, and they’re going to love you so much,” she told him, kissing the top of his head.

Elain took in her family, her incredible husband, and three beautiful children. It sounded so wild to even think about. She was a wife and a mother. Thinking back, she remembered the day that had changed the trajectory of her life forever. The bank robbery a few years back. It was crazy to think how such a terrifying moment altered her life in the best of ways. It brought her back to the love of her life.

It put her on this very path.

She’d face every one of the moments since then tenfold as long as it brought her to this point in time, sitting here with her gorgeous little family.

“Perfect.”

She looked up at Rhys, catching him with his phone out.

“Your first family photo.”

Her lips turned up and silver lined her eyes. “Thank you, Rhys.”

He waved her off. “Do you want me to take Kaden back with me?”

“No,” Azriel said, ruffling his eldest son’s hair. “He can stay here with us tonight. Can you put his booster seat in our car? The keys are in my bag.”

“You got it.” He grabbed the keys but paused on the threshold. “And congratulations you guys. Rosalie and Ryder are beautiful.”

Azriel leaned further into her side, kissing her temple. “Thank you, brother.” Once alone, he turned her head toward his, bringing her mouth to his for a slow, sweet kiss. “I love you so damn much, Elain.”

His smile was infectious, making her lips turn up at the corners. “Thank you, Azriel, for giving me this life—these babies. You have made me the happiest I could ever imagine. I love you.”

“Momma! She’s got my finger,” Kaden’s giggle interrupted their moment.

They laughed, looking at their three beautiful children.

Elain knew that this perfect moment was just the very beginning of the rest of their lives.

~~~~~

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violetasteracademic · 1 month

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Golden Doe in a Valley of Shadow: Master List

Ao3 Elriel Fanfic (explicit)

Please read the warning tags on Ao3 before diving in!

New chapters weekly.

Chapter One: The Last Winterberry Harvest

A week after Solstice, Elain is lost and heartbroken by Azriel's rejection. A surprise encounter with Lucien in the townhouse leads to an offer Elain wasn't expecting, and a readiness to face the future.

Click here to read chapter one on Ao3

Chapter Two: I Get By With a Little Help from My Friends

Azriel opens up to Nesta about the time he has been spending searching for answers in the library, and he is faced with an important decision.

Click here to read chapter two on Ao3

Chapter Three: Cards On the Table

Azriel and Elain must face what happened between them on Solstice, and make some difficult decisions about what they want from each other.

Click here to read chapter three on Ao3

Chapter Four: If You Won't Touch Me

Elain decides she'll have the last word, and she and Azriel push each other's boundaries.

Click here to read chapter four on Ao3

Chapter Five: The Vigilant Gaurdian

Elain and Azriel try to keep away from each other while Azriel continues his search in the library. One of the priestesses makes a compelling discovery.

Click here to read chapter five on Ao3

Chapter Six: The Time to be Brave

Elain clings to hope during the darkest hours she has faced thus far. A new vision fills her with clarity and determination.

Click here to read chapter six on Ao3

Chapter Seven: Now or Never (Part One)

Azriel and Elain must decide if they will accept their bond.

Click here to read chapter seven (part one) on Ao3

Chapter Eight: Now or Never (Part Two)

After accepting the bond, Azriel and Elain hold nothing back.

Click here to read chapter eight (part two) on Ao3

Chapter Nine: Ascalaphus Feathers

Azriel and Elain shop for gear to protect Elain while they explore their power sharing abilities. They go deeper with their intimacy and trust.

Click here to read chapter nine on Ao3

Chapter Ten: Golden Doe in a Valley of Shadow

Elain and Azriel head to a private location to explore power sharing with their carranam bond.

Click here to read chapter ten on Ao3

Chapter Eleven: *Special Bonus Chapter!*

Some amazing art created by @rae2velaris just for this fic! Please show her all the love!

Click here to see Golden Doe in a Valley of Shadow art on Ao3

Chapter Twelve: Rage Daze

Azriel loses himself to protective instincts when he and Elain are discovered in the valley, and Elain must take drastic measures to bring him back.

Click here to read chapter twelve on Ao3

Chapter Thirteen: A Promise to a Priestess

Azriel and Elain attend to an important errand before family dinner.

Click here to read chapter thirteen on Ao3

Chapter Fourteen: The Things We Do for Family

Elain and Azriel face the consequences of being caught together in the valley.

Click here to read chapter fourteen on Ao3

Chapter Fifteen: Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?

Elain faces off against Beron in the Blood Duel.

Click here to read chapter fifteen on Ao3.

Chapter Sixteen: Newly Minted Goddess

Azriel waits for Elain to wake up while the Inner Circle decides how to proceed with Koschei. Azriel honors a promise made to Elain.

Click here to read chapter sixteen on Ao3.

Chapter Seventeen: Objects of Importance

Elain attempts to push her sight and break through Koschei's wards.

Click here to read chapter seventeen on Ao3.

Chapter Eighteen: A Map to All Galaxies

Azriel journey's into Elain's mind to find her after she follows the map.

Click here to read chapter eighteen on Ao3

Chapter Nineteen: Rosehall (Part One)

Elain settles into a new normal after the destruction of the collar. The Inner Circle has been harboring a secret.

Click here to read chapter nineteen on Ao3

Chapter Twenty: Rosehall (Part Two)

After the ceremony, Azriel and Elain are in for a few more surprises.

Click here to read chapter twenty on Ao3

#elriel #pro elriel #elriel endgame #azriel x elain #elain x azriel #elriel supremacy #elriel fanfic #spicy elriel fanfic

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slytherhys · 8 days

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I choose you and me, religiously

Prompt: Clandestine Meetings (week two) @elriel-month

You can also read this story on AO3!

A/N: I was so happy when @elainsweetcobalt asked me to write a story to accompany this amazing fanart for this week's prompt. Shout-out to her and @tessorange-art for the incredible job because holy shit it's such a good fanart

It was nearly 1am when Elain finally got the courage to get up from the couch and lie to her family.

“I’m exhausted.” She said with what she hoped was a soft, convincing smile – so at odds with the erratic spike of adrenaline coursing through her body, numbing her limbs. “I’m going to call it a night.” She added a bit apologetically, aware of her sister’s knowing gaze on the side of her face. Elain paid Feyre no mind, feigning obliviousness as she dropped a good-night kiss on Rhysand’s cheek, happy to see that no suspicion lingered in his star-speckled eyes. Feyre, however, was waiting for Elain with open arms and an intrigued look on her face.

She knew her sister wouldn’t ask questions while her mate was watching them so closely, but nervous bubbles still fizzed in her tummy as she wondered what, exactly, was going through Feyre’s mind. Nevertheless, Elain smiled – a doe-eyed, innocent grin that did absolutely nothing to fool her sister, who remained mercifully silent as Elain wrapped her arms around her – and it was all she could do to keep her composure as she turned around and climbed up the stairs, the curious gaze of her family on her back the only reason why she didn’t rush to her room.

Truth be told, neither Rhys nor Feyre had any reason to be suspicious, no reason to believe Elain to be anything but the stickler for rules she’d always been. The reliable if not predictablesister is what they saw every time they glanced at her, and it was an image Elain was all to happy to sustain if it meant one more night with him, his lips on her skin, his weight on top of her.

Her entire body was a riot of sensations – hot yet cold, numb yet buzzing with energy – yet there was no reluctance, no hesitation in her step as she entered her room – silently locking the door behind her – and made her way past the neatly made bed, past the overflowing vase of colourful tulips and towards the balcony door, throwing it open with gusto.

Only to find that no one was there.

Which was to be expected, if not a bit underwhelming. So what if her throat was dry with thoughts of running into his arms? So what if she could barely breathe with the anticipation that pounded through with every beat of her heart?

Elain turned, walking towards her vanity in a futile attempt of distracting herself, pointedly ignoring the tulips that seemed to taunt her from beside the balcony door. Her reflection watched her from the mirror with feverish, wide eyes and flushed cheeks the same pink as her satin dress – one she had picked specially with him in mind. Goosebumps covered her skin as a cool gust of wind caressed her ankle, wrapping around her calf-

Elain looked down – at the dark tendril stroking her skin – and her gaze immediately snapped up again, looking through the mirror at the man standing behind her, so silent and so still she blinked to make sure she wasn’t imagining him. But there he was. She parted her lips, every word fleeing her mind as she took him in – a midnight-dark shadow and impressive, leathery wings, carefully tucked in behind him. His lush lips were tilted up ever so slightly, hair wind-blown and wild. A familiar swarm of shadows lazily coiled around her, reaching for her, touching her – gently wrapping around her legs, brushing against her arms.

Her name on his lips was a greeting, a plea, and before Elain could greet him back his scarred hand were caressing her neck, his thumb stroking her delicate skin. In a woosh of relief, Elain tilted her head to the side, wild eyes urging him to touch her more, to wrap his hand around her throat. But Azriel’s touch remained soft, languorous. His hazel eyes, however, betrayed his otherwise calm expression, chaotic as they traced her face, her bare neck, the plunging neckline of her satin dress, and then flickering to her face in obvious appreciation.

Elain’s mind went quiet as his hand trailed slightly down, playing with the strap of her dress, teasing her until she was squirming in her seat, spreading her legs open. She couldn’t even bring herself to be embarrassed by the needy sound that left her lips as she pressed against him. A whisper of a touch made her gasp, and Elain watched with hooded eyes as shadows trailed up her skin, brushing against her upper thigh.

Azriel leaned down and pressed his lips against her pulse point, nibbling and licking at the sensitive skin. Elain watched him through the mirror, fighting not to close her eyes and lose a second of the sinful image he painted tasting her. Azriel looked up, as if sharing her exact thoughts, and Elain’s breath caught in her chest as his hazel eyes flared and he smiled wickedly.

“Yes.” Elain answered the unspoken question, making Azriel chuckle at her eagerness. Elain did her best to glare at him, but then Azriel was pressing soft kisses to her shoulder, and any urge to fight was quickly forgotten.

“Were they suspicious?” He asked instead. The rumble of his whiskey voice sent a thrill down her spine, straight to her core. Elain bit her lip and shook her head. “Are you sure?” He knew damn well she was sure – just as she knew he had checked if it was safe to come into her room before even stepping foot in her balcony. But this was a familiar game to them, and they were both beyond pretending the thrill, the rush of sneaking out, of getting lost in each other when, on all accounts, they shouldn’t, didn’t excite them.

At that moment though, Elain couldn’t care less – not as she got up on shaky legs, turned around and threw her arms around his neck, kissing him with such force that Azriel staggered back before righting himself. He groaned low in his chest, kissing her back as if it were second nature. His shadows, Elain noticed fleetingly, had made themselves scarce, now replaced by Azriel’s hands as they reached for her legs and wrapped them around his waist.

“Does Rhys know you’re back?” Elain mumbled, pressing kisses to his jaw as he carried her to bed. Azriel pulled her hair back, holding her body close while pulling a strap of her dress down her arm, exposing her nipples to the cool breeze. He groaned, kissing her bare shoulder, down her chest until he was wrapping his lips around the peaked bud. Elain almost let him distract her. “Az?” She urged.

Azriel pulled back, kissing her temple, and laying her down the bed with such care her heart squeezed inside her chest. “He’ll know in the morning.” He finally said. Which meant no one knew Azriel was already in Velaris, back from his week-long mission. Which meant he could spend the night with her, unafraid of being sought out by anyone else.

Despite the leathers that still covered his body, he wasn’t the Shadowsinger, he wasn’t the Night Court’s Spymaster. Tonight, he was just Azriel. He was only hers.

So Elain smiled, leaning back on her elbows as she watched him take his top off, his eyes never leaving hers. And she didn’t look away either - not even as the sound of his pants hitting the floor echoed through the room. In what felt like slow-motion, he climbed up the bed and pushed the hem of her satin dress up her legs. The caress of his scarred hands against her tender skin made her squirm where she lay, and a needy whimper left her lips as his thumbs caressed her inner thighs. Elain spread her legs, mindless with want and too desperate to feel ashamed of her wanton display.

Azriel didn’t seem bothered by it in the slightest – and with a groan, his fingers found her soaked center. With a muttered cursed, Azriel’s gaze turned to Elain, his lips seeking hers, his tongue battling hers as his thick fingers entered her, his thumb swirling around her clit. He fucked her with his fingers, going slow and fast then slow again, playing with her body until Elain was bowing off the bed, hips moving as she sought the sweet pressure of his fingers. Azriel knew what she needed – harder, faster – but still he kept his lazy pace, watching her with a satisfied smirk and hunger in his eyes. Like he couldn’t get enough of seeing her squirm under his touch, cheeks flushed while the sounds of his fingers fucking her echoed through the room. Azriel kissed her jaw, her neck, her chest, all the while muttering sweet praises against her skin.

Good girl.

You’re so wet for me.

You make me so hard.

His dirty words were enough to send her over the edge, and before Elain could help it, she cried out, legs shaking as she came hard around his fingers. There was nothing in her mind but pure bliss, her entire body seemingly bursting at the seams as she kept clenching rhythmically around him.

He shushed her tenderly, looking entirely too pleased with himself. “You need to be quiet, or I can’t make you feel good, baby.” He muttered against her lips, pulling her bottom lip between his teeth. Elain, still panting and probably looking as debauched as she felt, didn’t give him a chance to deny her a thing. Before he could mutter any more idle threats, she was pushing him until he fell on his back, bed bouncing with the impact. “Elain–” He tried to scold her, but she was beyond reasoning. Elain straddled him with ease, pulling the dress that had pooled around her waist up her body and throwing it behind her, caring little for where it landed. Azriel went silent, but the sight of his hands gripping the sheets spoke of his restraint. He wouldn’t touch her if he didn’t think he should – and hadn’t that been their problem for so long?

No longer, though.

Elain leaned down, dropping a kiss to his chest, eyes locked on his. “What if I want to make you feel good, too?” She murmured, kissing and licking his neck until he was panting under her. She would mark him tonight, right there so everyone could see. Let them ask where he had gotten it – let him remember it all again and come up with an excuse that could never do them any justice. “Will you be quiet?” She asked softly, hand reaching for his cock where it strained between their bodies. Azriel groaned, head dropping back as she pumped him slowly.

His hands finally reached for her waist when she bit the lobe of his ear, squeezing her fist around him and the sight of his naked body under her, strong muscles writhing and completely at her mercy sent a new wave a wetness to her core. She started pumping him harder, kissing him as he tried not to moan too loudly. Suddenly Elain understood why he enjoyed seeing her at his mercy.

“Holy fuck–” He groaned and power rushed through her at seeing this unbreakable man panting for her touch, nearly begging her for more. But Elain wasn’t as cruel as him – she raised her hips ever so slightly and aligned his member with her aching center. Azriel seemed to have stopped breathing, his own hands holding her still as she started to drop down his cock. “Shit.” He rasped and Elain had to agree. He fit perfectly, stretching her, and filling her in a way that sent starts bursting behind her eyelids.

She leaned down, hands holding her weight on his chest as she tried to move, but Azriel stopped her. “Give me a second.” He asked. Elain nodded, eyes closed as she fought the instinct to ride the man under her until both of them were screaming, secrets be damned.

“Azriel, please.” She begged when she couldn’t handle it anymore. “Don’t make me wait anymore.”

He smiled softly, pushing a lock of hair away from her face. “Go ahead, baby.” He rasped, hands dropping to her hips. “Ride me.”

She hardly needed to be told twice. She moved her hips slightly, finding the perfect pace until both were panting, fighting not to make too much noise. But it was impossible – not as Azriel bent his legs and started thrusting up, hips meeting her own until the only thing she could hear was the sound of his skin meeting hers, his pained groans that sent sparks up her legs. A large hand grabbed her ass, guiding her up and down his cock as Azriel, with an impressive show if strength, sat up, his mouth wrapping around her nipple and sucking.

“Yes.” She mumbled, hands holding onto his shoulders as he kept filling her, fucking her until there was nothing she could think about the feeling of his body pressed against hers.

Euphoria crashed down her body as his skilled fingers found her clit, his lips on her neck as he rasped, “Come for me.”

Elain’s entire world ended and was made anew. Pleasure like she had never felt before numbed her limbs, turning her into putty in his hands. She felt herself fall onto him as he held her close, seeking his own pleasure in erratic thrusts and soft praises muttered against her sweaty shoulder. She felt him come inside her with a groan, filling her until they were both sated, drained, and falling down on the bed with whatever sliver of energy they had left.

“Holy fuck.” Azriel panted and Elain couldn’t help but giggle where she laid, splayed on top of his body and unwilling to let go.

She smiled lazily. “You’ve said that.”

“It bears repeating.” He smirked, chuckling softly as he glanced at her. He stroke her cheek gently, lost in thought. Elain didn’t ask him what was going through his mind, not even as he watched her with so much tenderness Elain almost looked away. Azriel leaned down instead, kissing her slowly, deeply. “Can I hold you while you sleep?” He asked, a soft frown on his face.

Elain pouted. “I don’t want to sleep.”

“You’re exhausted.”

“You’re back from Rask, and I’m the one who’s exhausted?” She teased, but Azriel just looked at her, letting her see everything going through his mind.

“I just need to hold you tonight.” He said, and Elain said nothing else. Because he would be leaving soon. Because she’d be waking up alone, any trace of him gone, his scent already fading from her sheets. And like always, despite her sore body and the vivid memories that would make her blush early in the morning, she would wonder if it had all been a dream. That is until she looked at the lovely vase by the window, where a new tulip stem would’ve joined the others. A different colour every time so Elain could tell them apart.

So Elain nodded as she reached for his lips once again. She wondered if maybe it was time to talk to Feyre. If there was a way for him to stop going away every other day. Not for the first time, she wondered if Rhys kept Azriel away for a reason – if in his concern for the people he loved, the High Lord wanted to avoid Azriel coming around Elain as much as possible, believing distance to be the key to a situation no one wanted. If he thought time apart would make them forget each other, want each other less.

If only he knew.

“I’m probably leaving again soon.” He murmured against her lips, as if he could muffle the words and stop them from coming out. From happening. “I won’t be able to tell you when I’ll be back.” He frowned, as if only now realising he’d be spending nights away from Velaris again.

A pang twisted in her stomach, but Elain smiled serenely, pressing a kiss to his chest. “That’s okay.” She reassured him, even if she knew every cell in her body would spend the entire time longing for him, too busy missing him to care for anything else.

Azriel eyed the balcony door, the gauzy curtains still blowing with the night breeze. “I don’t want you to wait for me without knowing when I’ll be back.”

Elain raised her head, eyes heavy with sleep as she watched him. “Won’t you come to me when you get back?”

“Always.”

“Then I’ll be waiting for you.” She reassured him.

“Elain–”

“Sleep, Az. You need to rest.” She laid her head on his chest, snuggling closer to him just as he interlaced his fingers through hers. He sighed in defeat and Elain felt her heart trip inside her chest as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head, smiling happily as she closed her eyes. “I always leave the door open for you, anyway.”

#elrielmonth24 #elrielmonth 2024 #elriel month 2024 #elriel #pro elriel #elain archeron #azriel #azriel shadowsinger #my writing #i choose you and me religiously #fanart fic #elriel fic #elriel fanfic #acotar fic #acotar fanfiction

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faeprincesswarrior · 11 days

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Elriel Month Poetry | New Beginnings

Silent Moments

How can silent moments with him be more full of joy than a hundred conversations with everyone else?

He says everything without saying anything and I understand it all

Without needing monologues or soliloquies or anything but a look a stolen glance meant just for him.

And just for me.

Fan art credit @cinnibelle

There she was

And there she was— radiant in amethyst her eyes shimmering in the moonlight of the garden.

His breath caught as he watched her golden brown curls the hair he loved cascading on her skin.

She would never know how beautiful she was the way he held her safe in his heart how he ached to share everything with her.

How he dared not dream for the fear of waking to find his arms empty without her.

The woman he loved quietly yet fiercely but always from a distance.

Art credit @tessorange-art

Moonlight Secrets

His naked body tangled tightly with hers like ivy twining on a tree

She savored his touch enraptured in the feel of him his beautiful hands on her skin tongue on her neck his name on her lips

In the dark of night with only the moonlight to hear she was wild and free no longer trembling or caging the longings of her heart

Alone in her bed – she was his.

He was hers.

Art credit @jasmineandshadows & @arielfriass on IG

He was her choice & she was his secret to tell

Art credit to @jasmineandshadows & @emartsemi

Happy Elriel month, everyone! Manifesting their beautiful story soon! Thank you to the wonderful artists who let me incorporate their gorgeous art into my poetry!

All poems by me :) If you want to use them, please credit my account. Enjoy!

@elriel-month

#elriel #elriel endgame #pro elriel #elain x azriel #elain archeron #elain and azriel #elriel fic #elrielmonth #azriel x elain #pro elain #pro elain archeron #elriel supremacy #elriel month 2024 #elrielmonth2024 #elrielmonth24 #az x elain #elain x az #elriel art #elriel fanfic

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lesolehabitantdelalune · 10 months

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“ʀʜʏs sᴀɪᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴀᴢʀɪᴇʟ, “ɪғ ɪ ʜᴀᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ᴍᴇᴛ ᴀ sʜᴀᴅᴏᴡsɪɴɢᴇʀ, ɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴋɴᴏᴡɴ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪᴛ ɪs ᴛʜᴇ ғᴀᴍɪʟʏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ, ɴᴏᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ʙᴏʀɴ ɪɴᴛᴏ, ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴀᴛᴛᴇʀs. ɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ɴᴏᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴋɴᴏᴡɴ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɪᴛ ɪs ᴛᴏ ᴛʀᴜʟʏ ʜᴏᴘᴇ, ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ ᴛᴇʟʟs ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴇsᴘᴀɪʀ.”✨

- A Court of Wings and Ruin by @sjmaas

🎨 Art by @/gh0oul_tan (insta)

🌹･ . ⋆ ･ . ⋆ ･ .🦇

💭 I commissioned this artwork inspired by an amazing fanfic by @tswaney17 . Little Kaden just captured my heart. And reminded me of my little cousin, that family is, above all things, a choice. As Sarah J. Maas once wrote: "𝐈𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞, 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐧 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨, 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬."

#elriel #elain archeron #acotar #azriel #pro elain #pro elriel #elain #elain x azriel #elriel fanart #acowar #little kaden #elriel fanfic #fanfic art #sarah j maas #tswaney17 #tswaney17fics

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duskandcobalt · 7 months

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Stargirl: Part Two

After a month of waiting, Azriel and Elain find themselves back in the kitchen to bring Elain's sexy vision from stargirl to life.

Ya'll know that SZA lyric "now I'm ovulating and I need rough sex" ?? This is that :)

You can read this as a standalone but if you did miss the first part, it's linked above xx

Read on AO3

4.6k words - explicit, 18+ pls

...

One month since she’d had that vision and Elain could still hardly look Azriel in the eye. In fact, she had taken to doing absolutely everything in her power to avoid him because even being in the same room as him for any longer than a couple minutes made her heart race in a way that she was sure would lead to her untimely death, immortal fae body or not.

She’d managed to suppress the memory of that morning, had pushed it just far back enough in her mind to allow her to carry out her day to day activities without remembering how he’d felt inside her. It had worked for a while but for the past few days, that stupid vision was all she could think about.

His scent was everywhere in this house, lingering in every nook and cranny - somehow clinging to her to the point where she could smell his rich cedar scent even as she lay in her own bed each night, trying to ignore the ever growing ache between her thighs. Much like she was doing right now.

It was a different kind of torture - knowing exactly what it feels like to have sex with someone without actually having sex with them.

Elain drags her hands over her face in an attempt to regulate whatever the hell was happening to her mind and body. She thought hard, counted the days carefully… she was due for her cycle soon - had been preparing tonics with the twins to help ease the unbearable pain. She hadn’t noticed the first time she’d experienced her cycle in this body… maybe because she’d been in such a state following everything that had happened after the war that any shred of desire had been buried under the dark cloud that had seemed to follow her. But now that the cloud had lifted and she had clarity on her powers, Elain wondered if that primal need to be touched which she’d felt as a human on the days leading up to her monthly cycle hadn’t amplified in the same way as the pain.

That had to be it. That had to be the explanation behind the intensity of the thoughts that had been plaguing her for the past three days. Thoughts so overwhelming that it was as if the floodgates had opened and all the images that she’d pushed back over the past few were hitting her at full force, all at the same time. She couldn’t concentrate on anything, had been pacing around the house like a mad woman - channelling her rampant energy into cleaning every surface in sight as if it would somehow simultaneously erase the memory of all the filthy things Azriel had said to her in her vision.

She needed a distraction immediately, needed to keep her body and mind busy.

…

Azriel watched from the doorway of the kitchen, slightly amused and somewhat concerned, as Elain furiously scrubbed a rag over what looked to be an already spotless surface. He’d heard her storm down the stairs a little while ago. Her footsteps, usually near silent, had been so loud that they’d been audible even from the floor above hers.

He couldn’t help himself when he rolled out of bed shortly after her, not even bothering to put a shirt on before silently making his way downstairs. He wouldn’t let his shadows take this task, needed to see for himself that she was okay.

Elain’s hair fell in soft waves down her back, shielding the smooth expanse of bare skin left uncovered from the way her nightgown scooped low in the back. The cotton slip fell to just below her knees, the white fabric glowed golden from the light of the few candles that were scattered around the kitchen. The outline of her body was just visible through the thin material.

Azriel wasn’t stupid… didn’t need his shadows to know that she’d been avoiding him ever since that morning last month. She wouldn’t meet his gaze, wouldn’t stay in the same room as him for any longer than absolutely necessary. The one time his fingers accidentally brushed hers when he passed her a dish at dinner just two nights ago, she’d blushed so profusely and fled the dining room almost immediately, claiming that she’d forgotten something in the kitchen only to come back empty handed a few minutes later.

He might've found her behaviour funny if he didn’t miss her so damn much.

Things had changed after that day, after those thirty seconds. He hadn’t realised how the quiet moments they shared had functioned much like his siphons - tempering the tension between them into something manageable. Without the outlet of their conversations, the tension had become unbearable. But even if missed her, he didn’t blame her. It wasn’t like he’d been able to get that moment out of his mind either.

She’d been making cinnamon rolls for him, explaining why she preferred to grind the spice herself when her eyes had glazed over and she’d stopped speaking mid sentence. Azriel’s entire body had tensed, dread flooding him as he prepared for the worst. He’d witnessed her have a few visions before and they’d always been dark, always alluded to something foreboding. Each time, the way she’d go completely still and her breathing would halt, made his own heart stall until the haze lifted and she returned to herself.

This time had been different.

Elain’s breath had still hitched, her hands went slack and the rolling pin she’d been holding fell to the floor. She had gripped the counter with such force as if she was doing her best to keep herself upright. Then her chest began moving, the rise and fall of her breasts rapidly picking up pace as her eyebrows pulled together.

He was just about to get up and try to get her out of this vision and back to him when her scent hit him, that familiar honey and jasmine, but amplified - something even sweeter. He knew it was the scent of her arousal, had known it immediately but it was further confirmed when her lips parted into a pretty ‘O’ and a soft sound escaped them. His own body had reacted on its own accord to the noises coming out of her mouth only to be rendered absolutely useless seconds later when he heard his name and every inch of him froze in shock.

“Azriel,” she had breathed, quiet but clear. There was no mistaking it. No pretending that she had said anything else.

The knowledge that she was having a vision about sex was one thing, but knowing that she was seeing him threatened to bring him to his knees.

Even after she’d come back into her body, after he’d asked her if she was okay, even after Cassian had come down and Elain had fled upstairs - all he could think of was how much he wanted to hear her make those noises again, how much he wanted to make her say his name like that. For a whole month now, all he thought of when he closed his eyes at night was Elain’s mouth - the colour of her lips. He wondered if he got her out of her dress, if her nipples would match the pink of her lips. If he spread her open, how would the colour of her sex compare?

…

“Do you see dirt that others can’t with those powers of yours?” Elain jumps at the low voice, her hand landing against her chest in an attempt to calm her heart as she turns to face him.

She hadn’t realised anyone else was in the house tonight. Feyre and Rhys were away at the cabin, Nesta and Cassian at the House of Wind. She thought Azriel was in the Hewn City for the night but he must’ve come back earlier in the evening without her realising.

Her stomach tightens, her thighs involuntarily pressing together at the sight of him. He’s shirtless, tan arms crossed in front of his absurdly broad chest as he leans against the doorway to the kitchen. Those godforsaken sleep pants sit low as ever on his hips and Elain tries very, very hard to look away from the outline of what’s underneath them.

“What?” It’s all she can say, the word leaving her lips in an embarrassing squeak as she finally drags her eyes back up to his face. She crosses her arms over her chest, suddenly extremely aware of how thin her nightgown is when she realises where his eyes linger as they sweep over her.

“You’ve been cleaning more than usual.” He answers. “Even things that are already clean… like that countertop.” His chin juts towards the surface she’d just wiped down for the fourth or fifth time tonight.

“There was a… crumb…” She says it like a question, like she doesn’t believe her own lie.

“Are you going to tell me why you’ve been avoiding me?” Azriel straightens, his arms falling to his side as he leaves the threshold and walks towards her, stopping just a few feet from where she’s standing.

Elain draws in a long breath as she tries to make peace with the fact that he clearly isn’t skirting around the topic any longer.

“I don’t… I haven’t been…”

“You said my name.” He interrupts her fumbling words. “You said my name and then you haven’t been able to look me in the eyes since.”

There it was - the answer to the question that had been haunting her all these weeks.

She’d said his name. Out loud.

She’d said his name out loud and he had heard her. Azriel knew that the vision had been about him and she could just about die from embarrassment.

“Tell me what you saw, Elain.” He takes another step forward and her breath catches in her chest.

The sound of her name from his lips sends a ripple of anticipation through her along with a renewed wave of arousal that she feels high on her thighs. By the slightest flare of his nostrils, she knows he can scent it on her, too.

“I can’t.” She shakes her head, looks away from his face and looks at his bare chest instead - studies the tattoos there. Another mistake. All she wants is to know what it would feel like to run her fingers over those tattooed muscles.

“You can.” Azriel’s directly in front of her now and the scent of him has her head spinning. It’s all too much to handle and perhaps it’s her hormones but the mortification of him knowing that she’d had a vision about him gives way to pure arousal with the proximity of his body to hers.

“Will you at least tell me if you liked what you saw?” He asks when she still doesn’t say anything. He’s standing so close to her and she’s so dizzy with need that part of her wonders if this is another one of the dreams that have been haunting her nights recently.

Elain nods slowly. Azriel hums, his eyes flicker with something she can’t quite place. He’s silent for a moment, his thumb tracing his full bottom lip. She wants to run her own thumb along it.

“Do you think about it at night? When you’re alone?” His question sends a shiver down her spine.

She nods again, bites down on her own lip to stop the whimper that threatens to escape her.

“Do you touch yourself when you think about it?”

“Yes.” Elain breathes - admits to him with that singular word that she often spends her nights in bed with a hand between her thighs, desperately trying to find relief from the ache that plagues her by imagining his fingers in place of her own.

“Show me.” She gasps as Azriel’s hands land on her waist, fingers pressing into her as he lifts her easily onto the countertop before stepping back. The cold granite is a welcome relief against the burn of her flushed skin. “Show me how you touch yourself when you think of me.”

Elain can’t believe this is happening. That her vision may actually be coming to fruition. She cannot reconcile in her mind that she’s perched on the kitchen countertop in her sister’s home, her nightgown hitched up around her thighs and Azriel - Azriel! - has just asked her to pleasure herself in front of him. Most of all, she can’t believe that she doesn’t even really hesitate before she slides the white cotton of her dress further up her thighs.

Her desire overrides the thought at the back of her mind that tells her maybe she shouldn’t be doing this. That she has a mate and even if it means nothing to her, that she should figure out that situation before doing whatever this is. But Elain thinks that maybe… maybe if she just does this once, if she allows herself this one moment, this one night, to get it out of her system then she can sort it all out with a clear head afterwards. That maybe if they do this just once, make her vision a reality, they can go back to how easy it was between them before.

She opens her legs just enough to allow her hand to fit in between them and traces a trembling finger over herself. Her cheeks burn when she feels how wet she is and that warmth consumes her entire body when she risks looking at Azriel and sees the hunger written clearly across every inch of him. Those blessed pants of his doing very little to conceal the physical proof of his arousal.

Elain swallows back any lingering shyness and circles the nerves at the apex of her sex twice before she slides two fingers inside herself. She watches as his hazel eyes flit between her face and the hand between her thighs, as if he can’t decide which bit of her to focus on. Her eyes close as she pumps her fingers, savouring the sound of Azriel’s quiet moan at the show she’s putting on for him.

She drags her arousal up and over her clit, increasing the pressure of her fingers to match the pressure low in her stomach when she feels large hands settle gently above her knees. The callouses and scars are gloriously rough against her supple skin as he moves higher up her legs, one hand sliding in between them. His fingers brush hers - silently asking for permission. Elain removes her hand and spreads her legs wider, offering herself to him.

His eyes catch hers just as he slips one finger inside her. She draws in a sharp breath at the feeling of that singular finger of his stretching her more than two of her own.

“I’ve thought about this for so long.” His lips brush her throat. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted you like this.”

She wants to tell him that she feels the same, that she’s wanted him long before she’d had that vision, but Azriel adds another finger and his thumb presses against her clit and she’s lost for words. His other hand pushes her dress up around her waist before moving down to wrap around one of her calves, bending her leg up so her foot is on the counter. He does the same to the other leg and Elain leans back on her elbows to compensate for the new angle.

She’s unable to look away as he stands, eyes raking over her as he nudges her knees wider before bending down. His hands are back on her, one spreading her open while two fingers of the other sink back inside her and curl upwards. Their moans combine, echoing through the quiet kitchen when he lowers his mouth and gets a taste of her for the first time, his tongue runs flat up her centre before his lips wrap around her clit.

It only takes a couple minutes under the spell of his tongue before Elain is coming for him, her thighs threatening to close around his head. Azriel takes it all in stride, doesn’t let up until her legs relax and her hands are in his hair pushing him away.

“Is that what we were doing?” He teases, pressing a kiss to the curve of each hip as he looks up at her. “In your vision?”

“No.” She pants. His hands are running over her thighs, up under her dress. His fingers graze her stomach, trace along the underside of her breasts before his hands are over them, palming them gently.

“Tell me, then.” He slips his hands around her back, lifts her until she’s sitting up and they’re chest to chest. His face is inches from hers, his eyes lock on hers - he won’t let her look away this time.

“We…” Elain can’t resist the urge to touch him anymore. She reaches out a hand, traces the black ink on his shoulder and bites back a smile when she feels him tense. “You had me… over the counter.”

Azriel’s eyes darken as he takes in her words.

Elain eases herself down until her feet are on the floor, her nails dig into Azriel’s arm as she stands on shaking legs. She looks up at him, presses her lips to the centre of his chest while her hand travels down between their bodies. She pushes the soft fabric of his pants down, feels the weight of his cock against her stomach through her nightgown.

Her fingers wrap around him, her small hand barely able to encircle him. She looks down, swallows at the sight of him hard and leaking in her palm. She drags her hand up the thick length of him and tries to figure out how he’ll even fit inside her.

“You can take it.” He must’ve seen the apprehension in her eyes when they’d widened as she looked at him. “You know you can take it.”

His fingers land on her hips again, turning her so quickly that she doesn’t even register what’s happening until he presses on the small of her back and leans her forward until she’s bent over the counter. His back hovers over hers, his lips drag along her shoulder and up her neck until his teeth gently close around her earlobe. “Is this how you want it?”

“Please.” Elain turns her head to look at him over her shoulder and pushes back into him, desperate to finally have him in her.

“So eager.” Azriel grins against her skin, pulling her dress back up her legs until it’s bunched around her waist. His hands are on her ass, fingers kneading into her flesh. “Spread your legs a bit wider for me.”

Elain listens, spreads her legs and pulls herself up onto her tiptoes to compensate for their difference in height. Azriel guides himself along her sex, coats himself in her release, and settles the broad head of his cock at her entrance.

“If it’s too much, tell me.” He eases in, just an inch - pausing when she curses at the way he stretches her.

“More.” She tells him, resolute. He’s barely even inside her and it already feels so good, the slight pain of her body adjusting to him only adds to the pleasure. “I can take it.”

Elain turns her head to the side, sees the reflection of them mirrored in the dark window. She has the fleeting thought that maybe they shouldn’t be doing this in the kitchen, in front of a window where anybody could see them. The thought disintegrates when she watches Azriel sink into her in one drawn out movement until his hips are flush against her backside.

He groans, somehow pushing in just a little further until there’s no space between their bodies at all and then he starts moving - gives her long, teasing strokes that has her anxious for more.

“Fuck, Elain.” Azriel’s fingers dig into her hips and she prays that the imprint of them lingers long after this encounter ends. She wants the proof that this happened to stay with her. “So wet, so fucking tight for me. How am I supposed to hold back when you feel like this?”

“Don’t.” She pleads, pushes back hard against him to prove her point. “Don’t hold back.”

His teeth graze her shoulder as his hands settle on the counter beside hers right as he thrusts in again, the momentum sends her surging forward, cold granite presses hard against her nipples. The strap of her nightgown falls off her shoulder as her hands slam against the smooth stone to keep her from collapsing completely.

“Like that?” The hint of arrogance in his tone tells her he already knows the answer.

“More.” She grits out.

The assurance with which she says it is all he needs before he complies, picking up his pace as he fucks her. His lips move against her ear, talking her through it.

“Do you know how long I’ve wanted this? To fuck you like this? Do you have any idea how many times I’ve thought about the way your pretty little cunt would feel around my cock?”

Elain whimpers at his words. The language he uses causes her to clench around him.

“It’s even better than I imagined.” His pace is relentless. Elain’s nails scratch at the surface as she fights for leverage.

She’s already close when she feels his hand land sharply on her ass, the sound of the slap coupled with the light sting forces a small scream out of her.

“Again.” She demands, surprising even herself - she hadn’t expected that she’d like that so much.

“Greedy girl… you like it rough like this, do you?” His palm lands against her with a little more force. “Want me to fuck you so hard that you think of my cock with every step you take tomorrow?”

“Yes, yes! Harder, Azriel. Please!” Elain begs him.

“Fuck.” Azriel moans as his hand meets her ass again hard enough that her skin goes pink. “Say that again.”

“Harder.” Elain repeats, waits for the impact.

“No.” Azriel delivers a particularly hard thrust as his hand makes contact with her ass for the fourth time. He rubs over the ghost of a mark that remains on her skin, soothing it before bringing his hand down again. “Say my name.”

“Azriel.” She breathes, attempting to catch her breath.

“Louder, Elain.” The demand in his voice has her arching her back, trying to get him even deeper inside her.

“Azriel!” She moans, louder this time. His name from her lips sets him off, has him well and truly fucking her, hard and fast, just like she’s begging him to until she’s unable to do anything else except shout his name. “Fuck, fuck… Azriel!”

“That’s it, Elain. Scream for me, I don’t care who hears.” She feels his tongue on her neck, marking her. “Let everyone know who’s fucking you like this, yeah? Let everyone know you’re mine. Tonight, you’re mine.”

Sex had been fine for her previously, occasionally it had even been good, but this - in this new body, with him. There was nothing like it. It’s somehow better than her vision - every sensation that she had felt was nothing compared to what she was experiencing now. Everything had intensified. The sound of skin meeting skin was louder, the burn in her calves and core even greater. The weight of him on top of her was even heavier, felt even better.

The feeling is incomprehensible. The way he fills her, the friction of his cock sliding in and out of her sex. The pure pleasure that’s quickly building low in her stomach as he angles his hips up and brings a hand in between her thighs, circling her clit. The rasp of her voice, the way her screams echo through the kitchen - through the empty house - as she comes around him. It’s all so obscene, so perfectly right.

“Good girl. You’re so fucking good for me.” Azriel praises her, fingers still moving in soft circles against her until she relaxes around him, until her breath steadies.

Elain almost cries at the emptiness she feels when he abruptly pulls out of her, his hand lightly fisting her hair to pull her up and turn her around. Her nightgown is completely askew, her breasts half exposed to the cool night air.

Azriel makes quick work of getting her on the floor, laying her on her back as he settles back in between her legs. She draws her knees up, wraps her legs around his waist, pulls him closer. He threads his fingers through hers as he brings their joined hands above her head. “I need to see your pretty face when you come for me this time.”

She wasn’t sure if she even could come again but she’s still so sensitive from her last orgasm that when he enters her again and hits that spot inside her at the same time his pelvis makes contact with her clit, her body goes taut. This release hits her even harder than the second and she cries out his name. It’s so overwhelming that actual tears form in the corner of her eyes. Azriel’s hands clutch hers tighter, pinning her down as his own rhythm starts to falter.

“I’m right there with you.” His voice is strained. “Gonna come so deep inside you. Would you like that, Elain? Want me to come in you?”

“Yes.” Elain replies without an ounce of hesitation, her eyes burning into his. “Make me yours.”

She doesn’t take her eyes off him as he finishes, as his hips slam tight against hers. She studies the beautiful planes of his face, the way his lips form her name - commits to memory the way he moans it as he comes. He’s buried so deep inside her that she can feel the way his cock twitches as he fills her. He gives her so much of himself that she feels it drip down her thighs even before he pulls out of her.

Azriel presses a kiss to her cheek, carefully untwining his hands from hers as he sits back on his heels and kneels in between her legs. Elain raises up onto her elbows to watch as he brings two fingers between thighs. She lets out a quiet cry at the feeling of his fingers gliding over her overstimulated sex, collecting their combined arousal.

When he brings his fingers up to her mouth, she opens for him. Wraps her lips around them and sucks. Their eyes are still locked as she licks his fingers clean.

“So beautiful.” Azriel whispers, withdrawing his fingers from her mouth. He cups the side of her neck with that same hand and lowers his lips to hers for the first time.

It should’ve been the last time, too.

One night. One time. That’s what she’d told herself just a little while ago. It was stupid, really, to think that was even a possibility.

“Elain?” Azriel’s voice pulls her out of her thoughts and back to reality, as it alway seemed to do..

“Hm?” She hums, their faces are barely an inch apart. He pulls her up and into his lap, holds her close to him. Her legs wrap around his waist, her arms drape around his shoulders.

“What’s your preferred cleaning solution because I think the counter might be in need of a clean.”

Elain can’t help but laugh at the small smirk on his face. She’s amused but also relieved, so thankful that he’s back to interrogating her. So grateful that they can resume these easy moments and their shared laughter.

“I’m partial to vinegar…” She bites her lip, her eyes flickering down to his lips. “But I don’t think it’s clean up time just yet.”

“No?” Azriel’s unable to hold back his smile.

“No.” Elain shakes her head, slotting her mouth over his for their second kiss.

Once was never going to be enough.

#elriel #elriel fanfiction #elriel fic #elain x azriel #azriel x elain fanfiction #azriel x elain #fanfiction #acotar fanfiction #acotar #acosf #elriel smut #ao3 fanfic #ao3 #ao3 writer #my writing #mine #smut #elain archeron #Azriel

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airelementall · 2 days

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Satin and Steel

And Elriel fic: Read on AO3

Princess/Knight alternate universe.

Elain Archeron is on her way to visit her sister, the newly crowned queen of Prythian. With no romantic prospects and a new inheritance of all of her parents' land and most of their wealth, Elain wants nothing more than to lead a quiet life where she's finally in charge of her own destiny. Upon her arrival, King Rhysand appoints his highest ranking knight, Sir Azriel, as her royal guard and chaperone. She thinks he's a brute and is appalled at the idea of someone following her around everywhere she wishes to go during her stay. He finds her spoiled and can think of a thousand different ways to better spend his time.

Chapters: 5/?

#elriel #azriel x elain #acotar #pro elriel #elriel fanfic

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lunaduskxo · 8 months

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Azriel: You’re staring.

Elain: I’m gazing.

Azriel: It’s creepy. [soft smile]

Elain: It’s romantic. [leans in for a kiss]

(Vampire Diaries scene but making it Elriel) 😉

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elriel-month · 4 months

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Elriel Month 2024

New year, same undying love for these two. 💕

We are ecstatic to share another year with you all and celebrate our love for Elain and Azriel!

Stay tuned for the official Elriel Month and prompts announcements coming soon!!

🎨 Art Credits (all IG accounts):

Top left: art by ruisfree, commissioned by darksidepuff & stephdaydreams

Bottom left: art by lulybot, commissioned by neur0toxin

Top right: art by jae.sketch, commissioned by pandoras_book

Bottom right: art by lulybot, commissioned by pandoras_book

#elriel #elriel month #elriel month 2024 #elrielmonth #elrielmonth2024 #elrielmonth24 #elain archeron #azriel shadowsinger #azriel #elain #elriel art #elriel fanfic #elriel aesthetic #elriel meme

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skyjasper · 2 months

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Imagine Being Loved By Me

Gwynriel: Talk by Hozier

COMPLETELY INSPIRED BY @avabrynne !!!

This idea comes completely from @avabrynne !! Great thanks to her for letting me use this prompt!!!

Masterlist

Summary: Gwyn and Azriel had been tiptoeing around her connection for almost a year now. The night before summer solstice the group goes out to Rita’s. Things finally snap for them when Azriel sings her a song.

Warnings: light NSFW, other than that nothing!! Complete fluff!!

Word count:3270

~~~

It was the week of summer solstice which meant the glorious city of Velaris was bustling with parties and celebrations. Gwyn had been comfortable enough to start going out with her girls and the inner circle by last winter solstice after Nesta and Cassian got together.

So here she sat in Nesta's room getting ready with Mor, Emerie, Nesta, and Feyre. She sat on the bed watching as Nesta moved her hair into a lovely ponytail. Nesta's eyes met hers through the mirror.

“Come on Gwyn, let's find you a dress, Mor can you do her makeup?” She turned to the blonde and waited for a nod before walking off to her wardrobe. Gwyn moved into the stool that sat in front of Nesta's vanity, staring at Mor evaluating her.

“Let’s make you irresistible, maybe you’ll find a lovely suitor.” Mor’s brows wiggled with intention as Gwyn’s cheeks flushed.

She didn’t tell anyone about her small crush on the court's shadow singer, nor did she tell anyone about their midnight training sessions. She nodded her head to Mor with a smile.

“Oh, I haven’t even thought about that. Where are we even going tonight?” She asked as Mor applied a Smokey line of Khol to her eyes.

“Rita’s is having a live singing night tonight so we are going to go and force the boys to sing,” Feyre spoke from her spot next to Gwyn.

“All the boys?” She poked her head to look at Feyre before Mor grabbed her chin to guide her back to where she needed.

“That’s the goal!” Feyre's happy voice chipped.

“I found the perfect dress!” Nesta shouted before coming out of her closet with a mid-length silk dress that was the same shade of blue as her priestess robes. A gorgeous number that had Gwyn melting at the idea of wearing such a delicate piece on her body.

“That’s gorgeous Nes, I can’t possibly take that from you.” She whispered as if her voice would hurt the dress.

“Gwyn, I don’t even know why I have this dress, it certainly is not my color.” Nesta shrugged before moving to place the dress over a chair.

“Hey, Gwyn?” Emorie came to sit next to the nymph.

“Yes Em?”

“You remember when we went and you bought those lacy underthings even though you knew you weren’t gonna wear them?” She whispered only loud enough for the two of them to hear.

“Yes, I got them because they gave me power over myself, even though I have no reason to wear them they make me feel pretty,” Gwyn responded, currently applying a reddish-pinkish colored lip salve.

“Well… they would be perfect to wear under this dress.” Emorie shrugged. Gwyn paused, contemplating it, after a hesitant moment she nodded and stood to ask the house to retrieve them.

Once she was in the bathroom with the dress and her underthings she quickly changed. She pulled on the light blue lacy underthings before slipping on the matching slip for it. She took a second to observe herself in the mirror, reminding herself of her affirmations. I am the rock against which the surf crashes. Nothing can break me.

She pulled on the tight piece of silk, marveling at how it hugged her form to her waist before slightly tapering out into a lovely flowing skirt. The neckline was something she hadn’t seen before, the fabric was rippled in a purposeful way to look like loose silk when in fact it was not. It gave her a sight of her cleavage, her breasts were not large but they were at least a handful. The skirt had a dangerously high slight that came to rest at mid-thigh. As she laced the back her waist became more accentuated.

Gwyn took a second to take in the sight of herself and how beautiful she looked. The light blue- almost iridescent- silk showed off her slight tan from training and her vibrant hair. Even her freckles seemed more prominent.

“You ok in there Gwyn?” Nesta's voice asked, laden with concern from the other side of the door. Gwyn walked over to the door and opened it.

“Yeah, I’m ok. Are you sure this dress isn’t too much for tonight?” Gwyn asked shyly.

“No this is perfect! You look gorgeous Gwyn! Let’s do your hair.” Came Feyres voice from behind Nesta who was still staring at Gwyn with her jaw open.

“You look absolutely stunning Gwinnie. I know a certain male who is going to explode when he sees you.” Nesta told her while pulling her back to the vanity.

Gwyn took a second to mull over Nesta's words as one of the girls put two thin braids in her hair at the front before pulling it up into a ponytail, one braid running on each side.

“Who do you mean Nes?” Gwyn finally found the courage to ask, hoping she doesn’t sound as hopeful as she is.

“Oh come on Gwyn, we all know the shadow singer holds a certain appreciation for you, we see the way he looks at you. And those midnight training sessions, he’s never done that with anyone.” Mor spoke from behind her as she applied perfume oils to her skin.

“Wh-what, I don’t know what you are on about. Az and I are certainly just friends.” Gwyn blushed at the implication.

“If that’s what you think.” Emorie chuckled.

~~~

More and Feyre winnowed all of them to Rita’s. The girls ordered a round of drinks while waiting for the males. Not five seconds after their drinks were in hand did they hear the unmistakable sound of Cassian’s laugh.

They all turned towards the sound, finding Rhys dressed in his normal dress pants and a button-down, Cassain in typical pants and a loose top. Gwen slightly choked on her drink when her gaze ran across Azriel, he was hardly ever seen outside of his leathers, but tonight he wore black tight jeans and a black shirt that hugged his muscles, his wings standing proud and his black hair a bit messy. He looked more than edible, and when his gaze found Gwyn staring her cheeks blushed.

Azriel was the first to move towards them, his head dipping in acknowledgment to the girls before his eyes raked over Gwyn's form. His gaze moved down her body slowly, taking in each and every element of the gorgeous nymph. Azriel had always been attracted to Gwyneth and not just her beautiful looks but her intelligence as well. She was the only one who matched him, who challenged him in all ways, intellectually, in the ring, and all other aspects. Gwyn never failed to turn every interaction into a game.

When he finally came face to face with Gwyn he could only think of one thing to say.

“You look absolutely stunning, Gwyneth.”

A blush quickly rose on her already pink cheeks, her entire neck now heating at his compliment.

“You as well Shadow singer. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you outside of your leathers.” She smiled at him, not noticing her friends staring at the two of them. Azriels eyes slightly widened at her words, taking them in a different way.

“Not like that Az!” Gwyn laughed out. “I just meant you are always wearing your leathers, I’ve never seen you in casual clothing. It looks good.” She explained herself as the left side of his lips twitched.

“I understand Berdara.” He shook his head. He leaned over Gwen’s small form to get the bartender’s attention.

Gwen’s eyes stuck to his chest and his very prominent pecs. She turned her head to the girls before sliding out from under the shadow singer, reaching out and hugging Cassian.

“Gwinnie.” He shouted before patting her head.

“Cass.” She laughed, “Have you already had some drinks?”

“Oh absolutely, Rhys and I finished a good bit of scotch, Azzie insisted on being sober until we got here.” He continued before moving over to his wife and mate, whispering something in her ear that made her blush.

Gwyn said her hellos to the high lord before they all moved to find a booth tucked away somewhere. They all moved in, Feyre and Rhys on the innermost part, on their right were Nesta and Cassian, and on their left were Emorie and Mor, which left Gwyn and Az to sit together. He stood to the side waiting for her to slide into the booth.

She felt his gaze on her back, by now she had already finished her first drink and was feeling the effects of it. Her skin flushed with the heat of the alcohol, her grace already a bit more clumsy. Gwyneth Berdara was and always had been a lightweight.

Azriel slid in next to her, his thigh meeting hers. His shadows slid over her legs and up one of her arms, curling themselves around her as they always do in her presence. Her light giggle hit him hard. He turned his head to find her playing with the shadows as they moved all over her arms.

“Ok, shall we kick this night off with some singing?!” Mor clapped from her seat, startling Gwyn.

“Who’s first?” Feyre asked, looking around the table.

“Gwyn should go first. I’d kill to hear your voice again.” Azriel muttered the last part only loud enough for her to hear.

“Oh no, I’m already tipsy. I don't think it’d be that good.” She chuckled nervously, silently praying to the mother it wouldn’t have to be her.

“I’ll save you Gwinnie, I’ll go first. Don’t fret you’re next Gwinnie.” Cassian rumbled, trying and almost failing to stand and get out of the booth.

Cass semi-stumbled his way to the stage, asking for the projecting device and introducing himself. Rita’s erupted in cheers as Cassian started to sing a newer song about senseless love and nonsense. Something that Bryce chick had taught him.

“Gwyneth…” Azriel drew in a whisper, “Why wouldn’t you sing? You have a beautiful voice.”

“I am not nearly drunk enough to sing in front of all of these people. Maybe later tonight.” She shrugged in response, turning her head towards the shadow singer, not realizing how close he was.

“Speaking of, would you be a doll and go get me a new drink Azzie.” She mocked Cassian’s use of the nickname.

He chuckled and nodded before slipping out of the booth, walking with his head high through the crowd, power radiating off his body. When she turned back into the booth she saw Nesta and Feyre staring at her.

“What?”

“What?!” Feyre mocked. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen Azriel give this many smiles in public before.” She said, sipping on her drink.

“Oh hush, he’s just comfortable because he’s around his family.” Gwyn lied smoothly. “Plus maybe it’s just because I’m that funny” She mockingly flipped her ponytail, freezing when she felt it his something, or someone.

She turned and saw Az standing there with two drinks and a raised eyebrow looking down at her. Azriel had always towered over Gwyn but with her sitting in the low booth and him standing she was face to face with his stomach. She winced before scooting over to let him in.

“Hush.” She muttered before taking her drink out of his hand and chugging it.

“At this rate, you’ll be drunker than Cassian in no time,” Emorie spoke from her side of the table.

“Maybe I need to be so you all will be somewhat tolerable.” She replied with a thick layer of sass. Rhysand let out a deep chuckle, turning back to Feyre as they engaged in a silent conversation.

She felt a large hand run over the length of her ponytail, toying with the ends. She turned to look at the shadow singer as he stared at her.

“Can I help you?” Her eyebrow hiked up as his hand glided over the back of her neck, resting there as if it were normal.

“If I sing will you?” His deep voice asked, sending shivers through Gwen’s body.

She was speechless, Azriel had only ever sung for her once, granted his voice was beautiful, but he had said he doesn’t often do it in front of people.

“I suppose that is a fair deal. But first, since Cassian is finally done torturing the crowd with his voice let’s dance!” She clapped, standing quickly and swaying from the rush. Azriel’s scarred hands found themselves on her waist to help stabilize her. She smiled down at him before forcing everyone else to dance.

The song was something upbeat and fun, after Bryce had left to fight her war she came back with a gift, the swords, and these things called speakers that connected to one of her phones, she had also given them a large amount of batteries so it would last them while they studied the devices to replicate them. It made them all quite happy to have a new form of music, though some people were skeptical.

Gwyn grabbed Azriel’s hand and dragged him to the area of people dancing. She was a giggling, bubbly mess, and the shadow singer loved it. He had never seen her so unrestrained, save for their conversations while no one was around. Azriel cherished those conversations, he replayed them constantly in his hand, his heart fluttering at the memory of her bright smiles and sassy jokes.

With all regard abandoned Gwyneth danced, moving her body in a way that wasn’t meant to be sensual, but to the intoxicated shadow singer, was so enchanting. His shadows whispered to him about holding her ponytail around his fist as he thrust into her from behind, or about sliding the top of her dress down and watching her beautiful breast bounce. He quickly shook his head to rid himself of the thoughts and mask his scent. He didn’t used to have fantasies about Gwyn, but recently most of his nights are spent in a cold bath.

Azriel did not dance, he stood there like a guard to Gwyn, and when she noticed she stopped dancing. She moved her way to Azriel, wrapping her arms around her neck to raise herself to his ear.

“Why aren’t you dancing Azriel?” Her sultry voice spoke into his ear. Azriel stifled a groan at the sound of his name out of her mouth.

“I don’t dance, you know that Gwyneth.” He responded, placing his hands back on her hips to keep her steady.

“But Az…” she whined, dragging out the Z in his name, sending truly impure thoughts into his filthy brain.

“Gwyneth.” He spoke curtly with a voice so low she thought she might be imagining it.

He placed her on the floor before looking up, trying to regain his composure and restraint. He let go of her before walking up to the stage. He looked back at Gwyn and watched as her eyes widened as he took the amplifier.

He waited for the crowd to calm down before starting without any music.

I'd be the voice that urged Orpheus

When her body was found,

Gwyn stared at him as his beautiful voice started to sing a song she hadn’t heard before.

I'd be the choiceless hope in grief

That drove him underground,

Gwyn felt Nesta slide next to her, also completely enamored by Azriel's voice.

I'd be the dreadful need in the devotee

That made him turn around,

“How did you convince him to sing?” She whispered, barely audible, so as to not disturb the delicate song.

And I'd be the immediate forgiveness

In Eurydice.

“I didn’t.” She responded, making eye contact with Nesta as he sang the next line.

Imagine being loved by me!

Gwyn felt something pool inside of her stomach. She had spent many late nights in the bathing chambers, pleasuring herself to the thought of the shadow singer.

I won't deny I've got in my mind now all the things we'd do

So I'll try to talk refined for fear that you find out how I'm imaginin' you

Not once did Azriels gaze stray from Gwyn, not as he watched every emotion fly across her face, or as the heat rose in her cheeks at the implication of the words he sang.

He moved on to the next line as Gwyn stood there staring back at him. Suddenly, as he reached the end of the last verse, everyone else disappeared. It was just her and him as he wholeheartedly sang the words.

I won't deny I've got in my mind now all the things I would do

So I'll try to talk refined for fear that you find out how I'm imaginin' you

Azriel watched as realization flicked upon Gwyn's eyes. Her chest and neck started to flush the same color as her cheeks. The same flush he had imagined in his mind as he stared up at her from between her legs.

Gwyn's eyes flicked back over Azriels form as she realized he was single-handedly singing to her. Heat raked through her as she recalled the lyrics.

“I’ll be back Nesta.” She whispered breathlessly, turning and walking quickly to the back hall where there was an exit into the alleyway.

She rested her head against the brick wall, her heart beating wildly and her breath completely gone. She closed her eyes as she ran back through all of their interactions, screaming at herself for being so naive and blind.

She opened her eyes as she heard the door she came through open and close. Azriel was standing there, something like fear on his face as he waited for her response. All Gwyn could think to do was to walk up to him and kiss him.

Her arms flew around his neck as their kiss became hungry and passionate. Gwyn's hands found one of her thighs, pulling one leg up to his hip as he walked them so her back was against the wall. He broke the kiss, staring at her.

“Gwyneth.” He whispered.

“Azriel.” She whispered back, her lips ghosting against his. This time it was him smashing his lips to her, pushing her against the wall as one of his hands tangled itself in her ponytail.

“Wait. Gwyn, are you sure? Are you sure you want this? Us? I know I’m not the most honorable male, and I definitely don’t have a clean past.” He asked her.

“Azriel. I have wanted this since I cut that ribbon, I have wanted you since we started our training sessions and I found out just how beautiful your soul is. I don’t give a crap about your past, mine is definitely not clean. And those hands that you despise so much are the same hands that saved me, the same hands that taught me how to defend myself and reclaim my power, and hopefully the same hands that will make me cum.” She stared up at him as his hands flexed against her skin.

“Thank fucking gods, we can have a more meaningful conversation later, right now I just need to kiss you. Is that ok?” Before his sentence was fully out of his mouth Gwyn was nodding.

Azriel continued their kiss, pulling her leg tighter around his hips. The hand that was in her hair came down to her other thigh and tapped at it, signaling for her to jump. They were both breathless as they broke the kiss.

“Thank you, Gwyn.” He whispered, staring into her beautiful blue eyes.

“For what?”

“For showing me that I’m not ruined.” He smiled at her, a wide bright smile that carried across his whole face.

That damned dress.

~~~~

Note: I think this concept was so cute!!! I love writing Gwyriel!! Don’t worry I didn’t forget about the fics I promised!! They are coming, this was just my contribution to Gwynriel weeks!!

@gwynrielweeksofficial (their first kiss!!))

Taglist:

@littlelunatica @going-through-shit @annaaaaa88 @i-am-infinite @impossibelle

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nikethestatue · 14 days

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Chapter XVI

You Are the One

One time, Elain Marie Paige Archeron had everything she ever wanted. She had love. A love that was pure and clean and genuine. A love that did not ask for anything in return. The kind of love that was true, and kind, and forgiving, and protective. She couldn’t remember a time when she laughed as much as she did in the last three months. She recalled waking up every morning for the past three months and feeling lighter, like there was joy and a promise of good things. Now, in hindsight, she realised that it was because she was in love. But also because she was loved. No one’s ever loved her like that before. No one looked at her in the same way, like she was precious. Like she mattered. Like she was someone’s favourite thing in the world.

Only Elain Archeron did not hold on to that love.

She took it for granted.

She took the man who offered her his devotion and his loyalty and his unconditional, undeniable and passionate love for granted, never thinking that she’d ever lose him.

But she did.

She lost Azriel.

“Remember, darling, that’s nature…simple biology,”

“Daddy, you aren’t going to be talking about how babies are made?” Elain sniffled, half amused, half horrified.

Her father smiled a sad smile and shook his head no.

“You have to remember that it’s the sperm that chases the egg. It’s the man who pursues the woman. Not the other way around. A man will chase and will not give up until he gets that sperm into the egg.”

“Ew, dad!”

“You are a big girl, my pretty rose. You know what I mean.”

Elain considered his words, and as graphic as they were, they also made sense. He was correct.

“Love was invented to make nature more palatable,” he continued, “but biology never changed. It’s still about the sperm and the egg. Therefore, let him chase you. And if he doesn’t, then you’ll know the answer. But never chase a man, sweetheart. It’s his nature, his responsibility and his destiny to chase after a woman.”

She sighed and looked out the window.

It's been almost two weeks and Azriel hasn’t sought her out. The sperm hasn’t chased the egg. Azriel hasn’t chased her at all.

At first, it was just…silence.

For four days, it was silent.

Her texts went unanswered. There were no call backs. She even went old school and sent Azriel an email! And that didn’t get a response either.

She was ready to go all the way to Canary Wharf and be the weird girlfriend who busts into her boyfriend’s home and starts to demand answers.

But he finally messaged her with a one word text: ‘training’. That’s all it said. No apology and no explanation. Not an ‘I am sorry for ignoring you’ or ‘I’ve been swamped with the team stuff’. No, she didn’t get anything other than ‘training’.

And so, Elain had changed her mind about trekking to Canary Wharf and waited. Training would eventually be over and he would be back. He'd return to her. Elain wanted to be an understanding girlfriend, who was going to support her man. She realised that he needed to get back into the groove of the game after his injury and get his body back in playing shape. Therefore, when Saturday came about and Arsenal was playing Luton Town, she dutifully turned on the telly and listened to the pre-game broadcast while Piglet raced upstairs and then came back with his red jersey, tossing it to her and urging her to dress him in it. He already knew what he needed to wear when Azriel was playing, and even though he made a mess in his cubby, turning it out and tossing all the other things on the floor, Elain thought that it was too cute how he got so excited and was behaving like a proper little fan.

They watched the game, with Piglet sitting there, enraptured, and howling happily every time Azriel appeared on the screen. How Piglet recognised him, Elain didn’t know–she once hid under a blanket for 10 minutes, and her pug was wandering around in confusion, looking for her, never thinking to pull the blanket off. But here, he somehow was eagle-eyed and was spotting Azriel among the tiny players on the screen.

While Piglet was innocently happy to watch the game, hopping and rolling around, Elain’s mood was more subdued. She did take a photo of the pug and sent it to Azriel. When the game concluded, and Arsenal had won, she messaged him and said ‘Congratulations! Brilliant game’.

Thanks.

That’s what Eain got in response to her message from Azriel.

Thanks.

Angrily, she waited for more, but nothing else came.

Because if he’d responded, she’d confront him and give him a piece of her mind. What did she do to him?? She was a somewhat reluctant girlfriend, but she had the right to be reluctant. He moved like a freight train, but she was more cautious. Besides, she’s lived through many heartbreaks before and every single man that she’s been with has broken up with her. She never broke up with anyone–all the breakups were initiated by the men. And it looked like the pattern was continuing, unbroken. Azriel was also fed up with her and was breaking up.

That night, after the terse ‘thanks’ Elain closed her bedroom door, so Piglet wouldn’t hear her, and wept.

She wept for herself, for her lost love, for her stupidity.

She cried tears of anger, feeling rage sweep over her, cursing Azriel under her breath, calling him names. She was so angry. Angry at him for making her fall in love with him. Angry at him for making her feel. For having hope. Feelings and hope were things that she long ago placed in a place that she did not access and longed to forget. She hated Azriel Night for making her think that she could be loved, with a passion and devotion that Rhys offered her sister Feyre. She hated him for being even worse than Eris. At least Eris never offered her false hopes–he was what he was and she knew that going in. There would be no sweeping her off her feet by Eris. But Azriel…No, Azriel was gallant and strange. He courted her with ferocious intent and was not shy about showing her, and everyone around them, how much he wanted her. He loved her dog. He cooked for her. He cared for her. He cherished her. He joked, but he never pushed her into an uncomfortable place. She didn’t expect to find him and somehow, he landed on her doorstep. Literally. The old saying ‘it will happen when you least expect it’--well, it happened to her. She didn't expect him to sweep into her life and just overtake her whole existence. Because he did. And she hated him and herself, for allowing him so much power over her. She’d given him everything–her heart, first and foremost, but also access to her home, to her sanctuary and to her family. Even her father had accepted Azriel as an appropriate match for his beloved Elain. Elain was her father’s princess. She was the one he loved the most, and the one who gave him the most worry. He’d been lukewarm on Eris, despite Eris’s title and background. But Azriel–Azriel’d wormed his way into Sir Charles’s heart and Elain’s father came to like Azriel quite a bit.

But he never called.

At some point, while operating like a zombie day in and day out, Elain couldn’t stand it anymore and swallowed her pride and messaged Gwyn Berdara.

She was mentally exhausted, thinking nonstop about Azriel and why he was acting the way he was acting. Unable to bring herself to reach out to him yet again, and receive yet another awful, one word answer, she opted for contacting Gwyn. She had no feelings about Gwyn either way–she’d only met her twice in person, and Gwyn wasn’t memorable enough for Elain to develop a strong opinion about her. But Gwyn didn’t respond to her either. Elain had sent a nonchalant sort of message of: Good morning! How are you? Just checking in to see how things are going with Azriel Night? I didn’t want to bother him as he is training and playing right now, but I am curious about your progress with him?

The message remained unread.

However, Elain Archeron did not need to wait for long to get answers to her questions. They came a day later, courtesy of the Daily Mail.

Another Mystery Woman for the Rackish Lothario?

Azriel Night, Captain of Arsenal, never one wanting for female company, has been spotted at The Devonshire with a new companion.

It seems that only a few months had passed since he was photographed on the streets of London carrying another woman in his arms following an attempted robbery. He’d been previously seen with the beautiful partner, now identified as Lady Elain Archeron, on more than one occasion. Hello Magazine even published a holiday spread of the lovely Archeron sisters and their partners in their Christmas edition. London society is still buzzing over the surprise marriage of Lady Feyre Archeron and Lord Rhysand Darling back in December, and over the budding romance between Lady Nesta Archeron, the Duchess of Velaris and Mr. Cassian Night (Azriel Night’s brother).

By all accounts, the romance between the gorgeous aristocrat and Mr. Azriel Night was going splendidly and he’d been seen leaving her luxurious Russell Square townhouse, and even walking her pug, all through the month of December. However, it seems that their relationship is now on pause.

Mr. Night had been spotted dining at the upstairs restaurant at The Devonshire in the company of another woman. The yet to be named companion and Mr. Night enjoyed Sunday lunch at the Soho hotspot, dining on Roast Rib of Beef, all the trimmings and sticky toffee pudding.

After so many trials and errors, will this one be the one to capture Azriel Night’s heart forever?

He was at The Devonshire on Sunday–the Sunday when it was Elain’s turn to cook Sunday roast. When everyone had come to her house for lunch. And by everyone, she meant–everyone. Rhys. Feyre. Her father. Nesta. CASSIAN. Cassian Night, who introduced her and Azriel, was at her dinner table, eating roast chicken and buttery peas. But his brother, Elain’s boyfriend, was on a date with someone else.

A more awkward lunch couldn’t be imagined into existence, even by a talented writer.

Nesta was seething, smoke coming out of her ears. Cassian looked pained and uncomfortable. Rhys didn’t fare much better.

But it was Piglet who broke everyone’s hearts. He sat by the front door for three hours–waiting for Azriel to arrive. He didn’t move. He didn’t eat. He waited.

And waited.

The whole family was here, and surely his dad would come as well. So he waited. He paced and then he lay on the floor, and he looked at the door, blinking his big brown buggy eyes.

Only Azriel never came.

It was a few days later, when Elain on on break between meetings and arranging dates that her phone lit up with a message. She looked at it and her face dropped.

Gwyneth Berdara

Hi Elain! Things are going well, thank you for asking. How are you?

Elain Archeron

I am well, thanks! Forgive me for bothering you,

Gwyneth Berdara

It’s no bother! I apologise for not responding sooner. I had a presentation to create and it took all my energy and time! 😀

Elain Archeron

I can only imagine. I was just wondering how things are with Mr. Night?

Gwyneth Berdara

We made the Daily Mail. Can you imagine? The one time we had lunch together. I can’t imagine spending all my life being hounded by journos

Elain Archeron

Oh, have you? I wasn’t aware that you were in the paper!

Gwyneth Berdara

😂 😂 I am suddenly a mini celebrity. Haha. I am only joking. But honestly? Don’t laugh, but we are mostly talking about football and working out. And hand to hand combat.

Elain Archeron

You are interested in hand to hand combat??

Gwyneth Berdara

I’ve been studying. Self-defence first, and then I got interested in other things. He is showing me some sicke moves!

Elain Archeron

? Okay. I guess thank you for getting back to me. Let me know how it progresses.

Gwyneth Berdara

Will do. Also I didn’t realise the two of you were so close. He talks about you a lot. I know you were his matchmaker too but it’s like you are his GF or something.

Elain Archeron

Well, no worries. I am not. Thanks. Bye.

Elain was even more confused and upset about things after that bizarre exchange. Also, who used the expression ‘sicke moves’?

Professor Gwyn was into hand-to-hand combat? And Azriel was teaching her ‘sicke’ moves? Elain knew that Azriel was a fighter and grew up rough, but…what?

There was no clarity around what was actually happening between Azriel and Gwyn after all that, and Elain only grew more and more anxious.

Another Sunday.

It was Nesta’s turn to cook and host, however, Sir Charles insisted that his daughters come to his house instead. And for that, Elain was grateful.

She was even more grateful to her sisters, who’d arrived without their men. She knew that they were lying when they said that both Rhys and Cassian were ‘busy’ on Sunday, but nevertheless, she was grateful to them. She didn’t think that she could handle another painfully awkward lunch with the handsome brothers who looked entirely too much like Azriel, and with her grieving pug.

She was seated on the sofa, her legs tucked beneath her, her chin resting on her folded hands, as she looked out the window. It was raining. Rain. Rain. Rain. Endless fucking rain.

She barely bothered today–her appearance was sallow and unkempt. She tied her hair in a messy bun, wore a beige jumper and a pair of yoga trousers–attire which was entirely inappropriate for Sunday lunch and not something she’d ever dare leave the house in. But she just couldn't bring herself to care. When the butler opened the door, he stepped back, lack of recognition evident on his face, before he quickly gathered himself and said, “Lady Elain, good afternoon. Please come in.”

Her father, and neither of her sisters comment on her appearance and the maudlin way that she moved around the house, with Piglet trailing behind her, his nose to the ground. No one was surprised when she went to her father’s study and curled up on the sofa, like she did when she was little.

“He’s lost weight,” Sir Charles noted, as he stroked Piglet’s back, while the pug lay unmoving in his lap.

“Two kilos,” Elain said, looking out the window. Expensive cars rolled down the street, taxis and stray pedestrians huddled under their umbrellas. Late January was miserable. Even the warmth of the fire in the marble fireplace didn’t make a difference.

“That’s a lot for a pug,” her father commended. “Is he not eating?”

“He eats, but he doesn’t ask for snacks and mostly he just sits by the door,” Elain answered and wiped the tears that rolled down her cheeks.

“Elain,” he began saying, but she rose up swiftly and rubbed her eyes vigorously.

“I am okay, daddy,”

“No you aren’t,” he said sadly. “No you aren’t”.

She shrugged, like it didn’t matter. And maybe it didn’t. Nothing much mattered.

“Let’s go eat.”

Just then, a knock on the door informed them that lunch was indeed served.

At least life was predictable. Pleasantly predictable here, with her family. There were no treacherous men and no disloyalty.

Feyre and Nesta were already at the table, their expressions worried, even though they tried really hard to act normal.

“Hi Piggy, come here little boy,” Feyre tried to summon the pug, but Piglet didn’t even look at her and just went to his bowl, sniffing disinterestedly at the chicken and rice offering.

Once the wine was poured and the soup was served and the butler left the dining room, Nesta, who’s been clutching at her spoon like she was going to lunge at someone with it, snarled,

“I have to say something,”

“Don’t say anything,” Feyre warned. “Nesta. Don’t.”

“That utter arsehole,” Nesta ignored her youngest sister and clutched at her napkin until her knuckles were white.

Sir Charles winced, knowing that the lunch was about to descend into chaos.

“Girls,” he began with a sigh, but suddenly was interrupted by Elain.

Her voice was monotone and she spoke without inflection, staring straight ahead.

“If I die before Piglet,” she said calmly, while the rest of her family tensed and stared at her with apprehension, “show him my body.”

“Elain,” Feyre gasped. But Elain ignored her and continued,

“Bring him over to my deathbed. Allow him to smell me. He will understand death. He will understand that I was gone and that I would not be coming back. Allow him to mourn me. But do not attempt to spare him the sight of me and my death. He should know that he was not abandoned. He must know that I died, but that I did not leave him. He must understand that unlike others, I did not abandon him. Not like his first family and not like Azriel. He should not be waiting by the door for me to come back. Take him to the funeral and allow him to watch me be lowered into the ground so he understands the finality of it all. He must know that Elain loved him and did not leave him on his own. She was not like Azriel. She never lied to him.”

What Elain had missed the most was the casual intimacy.

As another week passed and January was coming to a close, Elain’s life returned to its natural, if boring routine.

She worked, taking on more clients–thank god for January and ‘resolutions’ and people wanting to couple up–and that took a lot of her time. She was grateful for the distraction, but the nights and the weekends were tough.

Most evenings, she cried herself to sleep, while remembering all the good things that she’d lived through with Azriel. He wasn’t dead, yet the fissure of emptiness inside her chest that was created by his absence really felt like he had died. There was something unsaid and unfinished about them, which bothered her like a toothache. It was a wound which she kept irritating every time she remembered something about him.

How he was so effortlessly sexual with her, and how his relaxed sensuality allowed her to feel free with her own sexuality for the first time in her life. To Azriel, she was beautiful. Always beautiful. Never awkward or chubby or clumsy or strange.

The way he would habitually slap her bum, every time he passed by her. Or pinch it. Or caress it. Or cup it in his large hand. At first it scandalised her. And then, she grew to love it. She grew to expect it.

The way he strutted around after a shower in only a towel wrapped around his hips, showing off his incredible body…goodness gracious! That was something to behold! The way she learned all the details of his form, no matter how insignificant–his tattoos, the shape of his shoulders, the thickness of his biceps, how his neck was a touch too long for his body, but how that made him appear more graceful. She knew exactly how many abdominal muscles he packed–more than six, and definitely eight, and she knew the shape of his long strong fingers. His hair curled slightly in the back of her neck. His hazel eyes had more green in them than brown, and were peppered with black specks. He had perfect toes. The V of his hips could only be called vicious, because it was so sharp and pointed right at his…The one thing Elain never got to see. She never saw his member. Felt it, knew that it was worryingly large and thick, but she never saw it.

She supposed that she always thought that they’d have more time.

She recalled how one time, they were in a restaurant. It was moderately busy and they were seated by the window. It so happened that there was no one at the table in front of them, or by their side. So what did he do? He parted her shirt on her chest, and when she thought that he’d just cop a feel–something he did often and without hesitation–he bared her breast completely and tugged on her nipple, while kissing her lips. She sat there, completely delirious with love and arousal, while he pinched and rolled her nipple in his fingers, while squeezing her bare tit in his palm. Just as the waiter approached, he tucked her back in and acted like nothing happened.

She missed him.

Sometimes, she screamed into her pillow, a long, tortured scream because she…well, she missed him. There was nothing that could replace him in her life.

She loved him. Loved him when they were together, and loved him now–perhaps even more than before.

He rang her.

Once.

It was a day like any other. A blustery wintry afternoon, only 5 pm and already pitch black outside. Though slowly, but surely the days were getting a bit longer. Just a little. It was early February and Elain just changed into her comfy joggers and a sweatshirt having just come back from walking Piglet. He hated being outside, especially when it was cold and drizzling, and thankfully, it was a quick walk and he did his business in record time.

For some reason, it didn’t register with Elain that it was Azriel’s name on the Caller ID.

She’d become so used to his calls and messages that it seemed normal that he’d be ringing her.

“Hello,” she said.

He seemed surprised when he said, “Hi Elain”.

Everything stopped.

The moment she heard that voice, that achingly familiar, smooth, deep voice she felt her hands shake, and her heart beat wildly in her chest.

She threw her phone on the counter as if it burned her and then, with her finger trembling, pressed the ‘speaker’ button.

“Why are you calling me?” she demanded, her voice barely a whisper.

He didn’t answer right away.

“Why?” she asked again, and to her horror her voice was already hoarse and weak, and she sounded strangled. Because there were tears in her eyes and she was hyperventilating.

“How are you?” he asked softly instead.

How was she?

How dare he?

How was she?

She howled like an animal in her sorrow over losing him.

She cried.

She screamed.

She wondered what she'd done and why he just left her without an explanation?

She didn’t eat.

She didn’t sleep or she slept too much.

“Fine. Brilliant. All good,” she laughed a dry, angry laugh. “I am sure you are doing well too, right? How’s Gwyn?”

He sighed, like the sound of her voice pained him.

“I didn’t like the way things ended between us,” he told her somberly, ignoring her question.

“Well, it was your choice, wasn’t it?” she reminded him.

“I suppose?”

It sounded like he wasn't sure.

“What do you want, Azriel?” she demanded.

“How’s Pink?” he asked instead.

“What do you want to hear exactly?”

Did he want to hear about Piglet crying by the door?

Did he want to hear about Piglet avoiding any football on TV and barking violently for her to change the channel if he saw anyone running on a green field?

Did he want to hear about Piglet sitting and waiting for him for hours, day after day, hoping that his dad would show up?

“You abandoned him,” she accused him savagely. “I told you not to make him fall in love with you. I told you not to allow him to get attached to you. I explicitly told you that this would happen if he thought of you as his own.”

“I am sorry,” he whispered brokenly.

“You did it all. You hurt us, Azriel. What do you expect to happen now?” she questioned him, feeling her voice becoming hysterical. “Two brothers and two sisters together at Christmas. A third sister alone. A third brother who used to date the third sister is now with some random woman. Is this your vision? For all of us to play happy families? Like nothing’s happened. Like we didn’t exist. Like what we had didn’t matter??”

“He did matter,” he argued. “It does.”

She ignored him.

“Cassian and Nesta are dating now. Feyre and Rhys are married. Instead of leaving me alone–like I requested, over and over again–you made me fall for you. Fall in love with you. And then you tossed me aside.”

“You love me?” he breathed a shocked gasp.

“What?”

“You said you fell in love with me,”

“You are unbelievable,” she cried out. He was always deranged, but now he was even more incomprehensible. What was wrong with him?

“My dog is screaming any time he sees Arsenal signage. My heart is shuttered. Is that what you wanted?” Elain broke down in tears. “Is that what you wanted?

“I never wanted that,” he argued quietly. “I never,”

“What did you think would happen?” she insisted, sobbing. “That I can just walk away?”

“I don’t know,” he admitted, his voice devastated. “It all spiralled out of control…I didn’t want any of this.”

She wasn’t listening to him.

She cried.

Cried for her lost love. Cried for the children she’d never have with him. Cried for the future they’d never have. Cried for not knowing what his perfect day consisted of. Cried for the Christmases they’d never celebrate together again. Cried for his touch and for his kisses and for him next to her in bed. Cried for the games she’d never cheer at. Cried for knowing that she’d never see him snuggling together with Piglet.

She cried and Azriel listened.

She didn’t know how long it lasted–felt like an hour–and he didn’t say anything. He didn’t comfort her, but he didn’t ask her to stop either.

At some point, Piglet came over. He looked up at her, watching her weep, and whimpered sadly, before curling himself at her feet.

“I am sorry, Elain,” Azriel whispered at last.

She quieted down, before telling him,

“I wanted to be your wife, you know. I wanted to build a family with you. I wanted to have your children.”

“I understand. And I am sorry.”

“I wish you happiness, Azriel. Even if you robbed me of mine.”

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