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#either way. the wilderness will fulfill the promise
yellowjackets-1996 · 3 months
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death, she is cunning, and clever as hell... and she'll eat you alive.
↳ the oh hellos
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elfiewhore · 17 days
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Mommy domme elf story
Hello my dears and darlings! Finally, the long promised elf mommy domme story is here! Or at least, the first two chapters. As I began writing I realised that this idea had a firm hold on my mind and I want to write a slow, lewd and enticing tale. So that means this will be part 1 of ? - The first two chapters.
Please feel free to give me any feedback and/or tell me what you'd like to see next! This story is written from the perspective of the reader as the member of an adventuring party. The gender and name of the protagonist is purposefully left vague which, while it does mean some specific descriptions will be a little nonspecific, hopefully means that you can easily identify yourself in the story <3 This story is strictly 18+ and contains/will contain content including but not limited to: Humiliation, peeing, diapers, AB/DL, gfd, age regression, crossdressing(depending on how you identify), chastity and monsterfucking. All that out of the way, without further adieu I give you the first two chapters of my as-yet-unnamed story!
Chapter 1: An unexpected parting “I’m afraid I cannot continue along this path. To be quite frank you are all far too reckless. The strain it places upon me is far greater than any I have faced before. I wish you well, but I must depart.” That was the last words of your party’s healer, a priestess sworn to a god of healing. She was your last resort, having had to beg for the mercy of the church to provide her services free of charge. And she wasn’t wrong. Your party are notably reckless, charging headlong into combat without a second thought. This devil-may-care attitude had at first earned you some renown, as your bravado led to taking on the most dangerous of missions posted in the Adventurer’s guild. Slaying harpies, undead, and even a gryphon! The stuffed head of which is now resting within the guilds’ storage as collateral for your replacement arms and armour after the last debacle. Not that it was your fault, mind! You were always good. You listened to the numerous healers that had come and gone through your party. Standing where they wished, protecting them, ferrying potions. You were always their favourites, it wasn’t fair that the others always dragged you down. But you couldn’t leave either, the reputation stuck. You sent out subtle enquiries to other famous bands only to be rejected at each turn. Even the less reputable groups required steep entry fees as ‘insurance’ should they require costly resurrection magicks. Truly it was a terrible situation. And now here you were sitting in the foyer of the guild. The wooden walls of this esteemed establishment groaning under the weight of trophies and banners of heroes long past. They did little to inspire as you sat with your chin in your hands, waiting for a representative from the guilds’ treasury so that you can convince them not to repossess your equipment. “Just give ‘em the puppydog eyes. No one can resist those!” Your group had told you. And this was also true. It wasn’t your fault that you weren’t especially strong or imposing. It was useful for fulfilling your role but unfortunately led to you often being underestimated or treated childishly. Your mind swirled in a thunderstorm. Travelling without a healer was tantamount to a death sentence. Out in the wilderness, even the smallest cut could lead to a life-threatening infection. Not to mention mummy rot, lycanthropy, wyvern stings. Everyone had a role to play and you were missing one. “Excuse me. Is this the Adventuring Guild?” Came a breathy, soft spoken voice. Airy and light. You glanced up to see a woman standing before the desk, speaking to the clerk. Your breath caught for a moment in your throat as you took her in. Long, beautiful hair the colour of spun gold and braided with gems that glittered like stars tumbled down her back like a waterfall, framing the back of this curvy, enchanting figure. Every movement, no matter how small, was performed with effortless grace as she rested a staff of living wood against the desk. Atop it rested a crystal so pure one could see right through it, and silvery threads of magicked metals intertwined with the knots and whorls of the staff. Pretty (and valuable) as that staff may be your eyes refused to be pulled away from this woman. Clad in a robe of forest greens that flowed about her as if pulled by an unfelt breeze. Trumpet sleeves made of thin, almost translucent fabrics revealed pale and unblemished skin. But most notable of all, perhaps, were her ears. An unusual thing, one might thing, to focus upon. But the tips were long and pointed. 
An elf.. you think to yourself. A rarity to be sure. These reclusive, powerful creatures lived for millennia within their enchanted forests and reclusive holds. To see one traveling the world was an unusual sight indeed, for they often cared not for the affairs of men, halflings and other mortal beings. Content to remain within their own communities and spend their time plumbing the depths of the arcane and the nature of the divine, among others. “Yes this is the Ad-” the clerk stops, their eyes widening as they look up at this woman. “H-How may I.. Help you?” “Hehe! Oh please don’t be alarmed, sweetie. I don’t bite!” The woman’s voice again, a soft whisper. The susurration of a blanket being draped around you. “I’m only here to see if any parties are in need of a.. Oh what’s the word in this era.. A physiker? No..” “A healer?” Your eyes widen. That was your voice. Why did you speak? You groaned internally. Drawing attention to yourself never ended well. The figure turns, blessing you with a radiant smile. “Yes! Oh thank you!” Her eyes regard you from above as you are given a chance to look upon her face. Flawless as the rest, her eyes were a strange cavalcade of colour. At once purple, then gold, then blue as they took you in. Though no wrinkles could be seen, for elves are forever youthful, her countenance held a certain age to it. A wisdom beyond your own. You attempted to be polite, to meet her gaze. But that was difficult at the best of times and you were somewhat distracted by the revelation that her dress did little to contain a bountiful chest. The creamy pale skin stark against the deep green dress. It did not look ill-fitting, mind. Simply.. This woman’s bust demanded attention. Her ruby-clad lips draw your eyes northward once more. “My my! Let me help you with that!” She coos, in a voice tinged deeply with maternal concern. She reaches down and cups your cheek with a touch so delicate and warm you at once wish to melt into it. Your face had been rather beaten up in the last adventure, and with none to restore your vigor now you simply had to patch them up. But now the aches subsided more swiftly than they had ever before. Not just those upon your face, as the elf whispers her magic, it travels through your body. Soothing the woes of fatigue and injury. Even old wounds you had long since accepted receded before her radiance. Her hand pulls away and you can’t stop your face from following. Unbalanced, you collapse upon the floor with an embarrassed groan as you are snapped back to reality. A sound graces your ears. Like a babbling brook meets the chime of crystals. You realise she’s giggling. Your cheeks flush red as you rush to your feet. 
Her laughter stops as she looks genuinely apologetic. “I am sorry, little one. I didn’t mean to embarrass you. It was simply.. Cute.” Normally being called such a thing enraged you, frustrated you. But now… It felt comforting. “It’s okay.” you mumble.
“A-hem!” a stuffy voice draws your attention. You see the stuffy mustache first, like a hateful caterpillar resting upon the craggy face of a mountain filled with debt. The treasurer. “You again. I told you before if your party cannot prove to this guild that you are capable of finding a consistent and reliable healer to prevent any further deaths we will be forced to repossess the equipment we have graciously provided! I shan’t hear any more arguments or delays! So I ask for a final time. Have you a member capable of sealing wounds and ensuring your survival?” their stern gaze pierces you and your words wither in your throat. You tried to muster some kind of response but all that begins to croak out is a pathetic “N-no..” “Now now!” A scolding voice rang out. “There’s no need for that! No matter how urgent you feel your issue may be there’s no excuse for snapping! Or being impolite! If you must know ‘tis I that has joined this worthy band of warriors and, personally, I believe you would scarcely find a better purveyor of magicks and mending than one of my people. Now unless you would doubt the provenance of my ability, I have matters to discuss with my noble companion!” It was the elf. When did- You didn’t ask her to join you?! You barely spoke a word to her. And yet here she was, standing beside you with an arm protectively holding you against her side. Your cheek presses against her soft, warm breast through the thin fabric as you are held with a surprisingly firm grip. 
Chapter 2: Mommy’s home
The elf, whom you learned was named Nimue, was true to her word. Requesting (or gently demanding) to be taken to where your group were staying to introduce herself. She was apparently a mage of great renown amongst her own people who had left the isolation of her home to travel amongst the younger races as, in her own words, she ‘missed the energy and vibrancy of youth’ You couldn’t very well say no. You needed a healer. Furthermore elves legendarily had little need for riches which was a source of great frustration for any trader that fancied trying to arrange a trade deal for their crafts. So payment seemed not to be an issue. Dutifully you returned to the house your party had purchased many moons ago. Now somewhat dilapidated, the garden overgrown. It made you well up with shame to bring such a perfect and ethereal figure to this place. But her face remained impassive as she was led inside not that the interior fared much better. Broken bottles, dust, overturned chairs. Too often had your party returned here either too tired or drunk to care about cleanliness and it had become simply a part of the decor. First to meet you were the leaders of your band. A pair of twins, one a swordsman named Krennan and the other a channeller of barbaric rage named Mithra. “Well now, pipsqueak. Who’s this you brought with yo-” Began the swordsman, only to be cut off. “I think that’s quite a rude nickname to give someone, don’t you think?” The elf’s voice came in clipped tones, her hands on her hips. “How would you like it if someone called you pipsqueak, hmm? Just because you’re bigger doesn’t mean you get to bully others you know!” The twins look stunned. Confused. They hadn’t even exchanged names and already this lady was scolding them like a schoolteacher. “Well? Not to mention the absolute state of this abode. I’m told you are the ‘leaders’ of this little group? Hmm? Well I don’t see much leading if you leave this place in such a mess!” You couldn’t help but smile, though you attempted to hide it. To see these two being taken down a peg was… Wonderful. You glanced up at this woman, this saviour and your heart leapt just a little. You clung to her side even though you technically could have left at any time. Nowhere felt safer than right here, especially after her gentle arm almost habitually draped itself around you. “Now do either of you have anything to say for yourselves?” Her voice never raised, not once. But the tone, the power, the authority. It was all that was needed. The duo mumble and hang their heads, somehow cowed by this beautiful stranger. “Now apologize.” She commands. Krennan begins to mumble but withers under her gaze. “S-Sorry for calling you a pipsqueak.” He says a little more clearly. “That’s better. Now dearies. Thanks to a certain someone here-” she announces, rubbing your arm affectionately. “-I am your new… What was the word again in this era?” She asks you. “Healer” You say back up to her, feeling an utter rush of pride that you could be helpful to her. Especially as she beams back down at you. “I am your new healer! I’ll make sure you’re all back in bed safe and sound each and every night!” Her words are accompanied with a happy giggle. “But first sweeties, I think we need to do something about this mess, don’t you? After all. Cleanliness is next to godliness! So come along, pick up a brush. No dillydallying!” She ferries you and the other two further into the house, ushering you like children.
The next few hours consisted of chores. Cleaning the house, trimming the garden, dusting every inch that could be dusted. Your other companions - A scout named Callie and a sorcerer named Ilnax, were roped into the affair with sleepy confusion. That they fucked regularly was the worst kept secret in the group and today was no exception. But Nimue had some kind of.. Allure. Power. Nothing magical, you don’t think. Simply an aura of maternal authority. You found yourself eager to please, trusting that she knew best. And before long, the house was transformed. No longer a dilapidated sty, it looked somewhat close to actually livable! “Okay sweeties! Well done! I’m so proud of you! Teehee! And now it’s bath and bedtime for all of you!” That snapped some of them out of the strange spell she had woven. “Bedtime? We’re not-” Began Callie, only to find Nimue’s smiling face gazing down at her. “I am responsible for your health and that begins with a good and consistent sleep schedule! I’m told you four are constantly staying up far too late. This won’t do, so long as I’m here you will sleep at a reasonable hour! You wouldn’t want to die because of a silly mistake you made because you were cranky, would you?” 
As usual, you were last for the bath. You were used to it. The others simply barged their way past you to take the hot water for themselves. As you stepped into the bathroom you blush as immediately you realise that Nimue is also in there, standing near-naked before the tub. You never thought you would see an ass that perfect but you could probably bounce a gold coin off that thing as silken underwear are nearly swallowed by the cheeks. She turns with a yelp, covering her bare chest but then chuckling and dropping her hands revealing perfectly pink nipples. “Oh, it’s just you! Hehe! Close the door silly.” She says with a chuckle. Your cheeks burn, not just because of her nudity but how somehow you don’t count as someone she would be embarrassed by. As if she doesn’t see you as an adult that would find such a sight enticing. But you find yourself closing the door. “It’s getting late, so I thought I would join you in the bath! That’s okay, right? No one changed the water so I did it myself and added some firestones. It should be nice and warm! C’mon!” She beckons, turning and slipping off her panties before climbing into the tub. You debated leaving, but why should you? She was inviting you in. And the water was literally steaming hot. You hadn’t had a warm bath in so long. You realise that while you had been debating internally your body had made the choice and you were already sinking into that warm, steaming water. The tub, small as it was, would only fit if you sat between her gorgeous thighs. They cushioned your hips like pillows as she wrapped her arms around your stomach, pulling you back against her to give you a hug. Her breasts squishing against the back of your head as she does so. “I’m so glad I found you, little one. This was just what I needed! Oh this is going to be a wonderful, wonderful time!” She coos, bringing some water up and beginning to wash you. Overwhelmed, you simply sit still. It was nice, finally. To have someone stand up for you, take care of you, protect you. Finally you could just relax. Just.. Relax.. “Ooop! It looks like someone’s having a bit of an accident!” She titters. Your eyes flutter open as you look down and to your utter horror you see between your legs a definite tinge of gold in the water. Did you- You pissed yourself! You immediately try to scramble out, stammering an embarrassed apology but again those powerful arms keep you still. “Shhh…” She soothes, softly petting your head. “It’s okay. I understand. You were relaxed. Don’t worry, I won’t tell.” She whispers into your ear. “I’ll take care of it. I promise. But for now.. We should make sure there’s nothing else in there, hmm?” Unsure of what she meant, you simply settled back into the water as her hand trailed down between your legs. You tense as she touches your most intimate place, but quickly relax as her gentle hands slowly start to rub and tease you. “W-What are you…” “Helping you relax.. Shhh..” She whispers into your ear as she continues just gently touching you. Holding you in a motherly embrace as her delicate strokes make you shiver so sweetly. You had never been touched like this. So carefully, tenderly. Not trying to simply get you off as quickly as possible. But wanting to fill your mind with a haze of pleasure. It was overwhelming. It was everything. You settle even more comfortably against her chest, half turning to nuzzle into her breast as she holds you close. “That’s my little champion. My brave heroic adventurer! You’ve done so much, such a good job! Now just relax. Let me take care of you. Let mommy take good, good care of you now…” Those words reached your ears and swirled into your mind. Soothing all worries, caressing your anxious soul. You didn’t even realise when you felt your hips lift and grind against her hand as you cum for her. She was taking care of you now. You were hers, happily and hopelessly hers. You could never have imagined how far that would go. 
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Rags to Werewolves Challenge: Week Two
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(Belatedly I realised that I should have Scienced and stuff for this. A running total of earnings + expenditures would have been nice, buuut it's too late now. Oh well. I'll just have to do three werewolves instead of two. Woe is them me.)
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This was not the Wildfangs saying "you can't sit with us," but some sort of game mechanic.
For some reason the option to join a pack isn't coming up, even though Min Jun has unlocked all the abilities required and his friendship levels with both Alphas is decent. I'm not too worried as membership's not necessary for this save - basically it would have given him access to their facilities (which have no more perks than what's available in the werewolf bunker) but more Stuff to do in terms of fulfilling pack obligations etc, so it's no big. But I hope this isn't a bug for saves to come.
Anyway.
Day Nine and after visiting both packs, Min Jun spent the day busking. Apart from saving himself trips to the shower through wolf baths and needing less time to sleep than a regular Sim with wolf naps, not much different there.
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Day Ten was moar busking, and a trip to Henford-on-Bagley where - since he has vertical planters that can go indoors now - Min Jun spent some hard earned Simoleons on tomatoes and other vegetables that he'd grow and consume year-round. Since a downside of the FREEGAN trait is he gets an EMBARRASSED moodlet anytime he doesn't save some money on something, and tomatoes in particular will reduce the cost of garden salads, it's a worthwhile investment.
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Also since I was trying to level him up enough to unlock the SOMBER HOWL ability, he spent some time grooving in beast form. It could just be in my head buuut I feel like people reacting negatively to werewolves has amped up since the update. Either way, Mila Munch seemed to be digging it.
(Since he had the whim to order a drink and it was Happy Hour, this was also where he enjoyed a well-deserved root beer float.)
Day Eleven dawned and well. Vlad, I really think you should reconsider this. For your sake, this time.
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Yeah, vampires hate drinking werewolf blood and get the ENRAGED moodlet whenever they do (even Amelie did in my Alphabet save and she and Lou are engaged plus have made a Nooboo together). Also Min Jun is by now a PRIME werewolf and Vlad has yet to win a fight in any of my saves. Even mere mortal Cameron Fletcher wiped the floor with him.
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We stayed local for Day Eleven to fish and forage, with some games of chess to boost his social needs giving him a nice focus boost. Also that night Vlad came by, as promised, but elected to sink his teeth into some literature instead.
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Much more satisfying than werewolf blood.
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Day Twelve was busking money before the Full. Since it was the middle of the day, he didn't do well. Plus Brytani Cho showed up to hype up absolutely nothing and Sims seem to get too distracted with celebrities nearby to tip much.
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This picture cracks me up because Min Jun and Celene are clearly just chatting and trying to act like everything's normal. Just let this happy person on a strange mission do her thing, guys xD
Once he went back into the bunker to make sure his needs were well-met (werewolves will actually regain some needs while transformed during the Full, but having everything in the green may help avoid earning some of the more annoying traits), Grimtooth was popping, but not as much as normal. Most seemed to - wisely - be staying away for the night.
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He was happy to provide some mood music for Angela Pleasant and Lou Howell though. (Also Lou, don't think you're off the hook for these experiments...)
At one point I noticed that both Lou and Wolfgang Wilder (orange sweater) had peaced out, and sure enough Min Jun's Fury was rising. We therefore teleported elsewhere.
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Again he regained control pretty quickly. He didn't earn any traits, possibly because he hasn't levelled up enough, but had enough XP to unlock SOMBER HOWL.
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After the failure of trying to make Simoleons at the San Sequoia Celebration Centre (again, Brytani showed up and was too much of a distraction), Day Thirteen was moar busking outside the Gnome's Arms. Either Henford-on-Bagley isn't on the map enough to attract C Listers or they're too terrified of Agnes Crumblebottom and her swinging purse to show.
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Day Fourteen and by now Min Jun had enough money to start the makings of his tiny home. Since I'll be doing a few of these, I'm going by Runaway Teen challenge success guidelines and deeming it complete when he has a functional bathroom, bedroom and kitchen (rather than the multi-story family home traditionally required). He made enough money fishing and foraging to afford a toilet, although considering how often werewolves break appliances, he's mostly using the party bush outside.
I... probably haven't done enough wolfish things with Min Jun to judge how doing this as an occult is different to normal. Also I've avoided doing things that would clearly break the challenge - ie. some of what he's found while scavenging are worth well over 1k. At this rate I estimate that his home will be complete by the end of Week Three/Day Twenty-One, and from there it will be onto the next victim.
As it stands, he needs to make his house large enough to hold a bed that isn't his sleeping bag and has about 400 Simoleons.
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the-elusive-soleil · 3 months
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For some reason, my brain decided to think about Knock at the Cabin at the same time as kidnap fam, and I'm making it y'all's problem.
(bear with me, I promise it'll be okay)
Let's say at the end of the War of Wrath, Sauron escapes, and is making his way through the wilderness. Completely by chance, he happens on an abandoned settlement where Maedhros, Maglor, Elrond, and Elros have been staying.
(For context: the twins are young adults, have won several sporadic arguments over the years about how they ought to leave, and have hung on after all the rest of the Feanorians have had to scatter, and Maglor and Maedhros have not yet heard what's going on with the Silmarils.)
Sauron decides to have some fun with them, and disguises himself as a Maia of Namo before presenting himself to them. He claims that the continental instability they've been noticing is a prelude to a coming apocalypse, and that one of the four of them has to sacrifice themselves to prevent the end of the world.
Naturally, they don't initially believe him - less because they really think at this point that it would be beyond the pale for the Valar to require this, and more because they're not convinced any of the Valar are paying that much attention to them. But Sauron's very good at manipulation, and the earthquakes are getting worse, and the ground is cracking open in some places.
Maedhros was already a little suicidal, and tells Maglor that it should be him, that he should die/be killed just in case. Maglor is horrified and shuts the notion down. Usually, he's slightly more inclined of the two of them to trust the Valar, but not for this, not if it means sacrificing his brother. The only thing they agree on in this situation is that they need to keep the twins alive and well.
Meanwhile. Neither Elrond nor Elros wants to die, particularly since it would mean leaving the other one alone, and since they're not positive what happens to peredhil. However, they a) don't want either of their adoptive fathers to die, for the normal reasons and also in case they would go to the Void/not be reembodied, and b) are mostly sure that they can sing their way out of Mandos as Luthien did. So with that logic, they're starting to look like the best options if someone has to be sacrificed.
Maedhros and Maglor overhear them discussing this, and realize the situation might get more urgent. They hide all possible means of death-dealing about the place. Maedhros reiterates that it should be him, that Maglor is less broken and the one the twins are closer to. Maglor tells him not to be an idiot and that the twins love both of them, and that his lesser brokenness might make him better able to handle the Void if it comes down to that.
And of course, in between the assorted arguments, Sauron's coming around to each of them and stirring things up with a stick, alternately convincing them that they should be the one to die or that they can't be. Any way that it goes is fine by him: if it's Maedhros, Sauron will have finally destroyed his old victim; if it's Maglor, Maedhros will be so tormented with grief and guilt that he might die anyway; and if it's one of the twins, that might be what finally drives a wedge between Maedhros and Maglor.
A lava chasm opens up just outside the settlement. Maedhros decides to take matters into his own hand, discreetly locks Maglor and the twins in the house, and goes out to jump--
--and runs into Eonwe and others from the Host of Valinor, who are on Sauron's trail. Maedhros realizes what's been going on, and also that his brother and sons are alone with Sauron. They speed back to the house and the Host takes Sauron prisoner. While everyone is distracted with him at the camp, someone pinches the Silmarils sans murder, and the Oath is fulfilled. The Silmarils might burn Maedhros and Maglor a little, but not as badly as in canon, and Elros and Elrond are there to talk them down from doing anything drastic.
And so they all four live, and stay together. Which, ironically, would mean that Sauron accidentally made things better by showing up and messing with them...
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yahwehscholar · 9 months
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Seven Times are Ending Soon
“He will make a firm covenant with many for one week. In the middle of the week he will cause the sacrifice and the offering to cease. On the wing of abominations will come one who makes desolate; and even to the full end, and that determined, wrath will be poured out on the desolate.” -Daniel 9:27
This firm covenant is for a judgement sentence of seven times, or one week. This judgement I believe was for killing Cain.
“Yahweh said to him, “Therefore whoever slays Cain, vengeance will be taken on him sevenfold.” Yahweh appointed a sign for Cain, so that anyone finding him would not strike him.” -Genesis 4:15
How did Cain die? Either it was during the flood, which Yahweh caused, or it was by ‘natural’ causes, which is caused by Yahweh as well. Unless Cain is still alive somewhere, which I highly doubt, Yahweh is the cause of his death.
The central theme of the scriptures is that we need Yahweh to be our King because we can’t do it without him. We need to call upon Yahweh the One True God in prayer to come back, to save us from ourselves.
The seven times, or one week, started with the seventy years of prophesied desolations for Jerusalem. This started as Daniel 1:1 records, in the third year of King Jehooakim of Judah. King Nebuchadnezzar comes and subjugates Israel and took back to Babylon whatever he wanted, even princes he made into eunuchs. This was prophesied by Isaiah.
“‘Behold, the days are coming when all that is in your house, and that which your fathers have stored up until today, will be carried to Babylon. Nothing will be left,’ says Yahweh. ‘They will take away your sons who will issue from you, whom you shall father, and they will be eunuchs in the king of Babylon’s palace.’” Isaiah 39:6,7
“In the third year of the reign of Jehoiakim king of Judah Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon came to Jerusalem and besieged it. The Lord gave Jehoiakim king of Judah into his hand, with part of the vessels of the house of God; and he carried them into the land of Shinar to the house of his god. He brought the vessels into the treasure house of his god. The king spoke to Ashpenaz the master of his eunuchs, that he should bring in some of the children of Israel, even of the royal offspring and of the nobles.” -Daniel 1:1,2
That was when this week of judgement upon Yahweh himself started. How long is this week?
“From the time that the continual burnt offering is taken away, and the abomination that makes desolate set up, there will be one thousand two hundred ninety days. Blessed is he who waits, and comes to the one thousand three hundred thirty-five days. “But go you your way until the end; for you will rest, and will stand in your inheritance at the end of the days.” Daniel 12.11-13
The 1,290 days and 1,335 days are two halves of this week. We should understand these days, in the bigger fulfillment on this prophecy, also mean years. This interpretation comes from the first trip of 12 spying out the promised land, but most being too scared of the Canaanites to have faith that Yahweh would give it to them. These spies spent 40 days in the promised land, so all the Hebrews spent 40 years in the wilderness. The whole generation died out, and their children were the ones to enter.
“After the number of the days in which you spied out the land, even forty days, for every day a year, you will bear your iniquities, even forty years, and you will know my alienation.’” Numbers 14:34
This week of seven years the Jehovah’s Witnesses day ended in 1914, but that is all the way true. This is when they say Christ came back, only invisibly enthroned as King in heaven. I don’t believe that was the second coming of Christ. When he comes back, we will not have any doubt. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but it will all be good things. All things are possible with God.
Yahweh awesome!
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destinyimage · 7 months
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Increase Your Anointing: How to Live Supernaturally Shielded from Darkness
Thanks to the anointing of preservation, we can be protected, just as Jesus was.
According to Acts 10:37-38, it is clear that God anointed Jesus with the Holy Spirit and power. This was further confirmed—as has been mentioned and as we have come to understand—when He read from Isaiah in the synagogue, proclaiming, “The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, because He has anointed Me... Today this Scripture is fulfilled in your hearing” (Luke 4:18-21 NKJV). To access this same protection and anointing in our lives, we need to call upon the name of the Lord. When we do, we are saved, not just in eternal life but also granted a full benefits covenant package that brings preservation to save and protect.
God Preserves Through His Word
In the same way as Noah, the Bible tells us that no evil could touch Jesus, and we can experience the same protection if we call on His name as well. Despite being the Son of God, Jesus, as pointed out before, experienced many attempted attacks before His ultimate sacrifice in Golgotha. These included attempts from King Herod, who tried to have Jesus killed while He was still an infant (Matthew 2:13-18); the Pharisees and scribes who wanted to trap Him with their questions (Luke 11:53-54); and the Jewish leaders and Roman soldiers who sought to arrest Him at Gethsemane (Luke 22:47-48). No matter how hard they tried, none of these attempts were successful—evil never won against Jesus—and it won’t against us either.
Jesus proclaimed that no enemy could end His life until He gave permission. As evidenced in John 7, many people were out for His blood but He evaded them every time. It was through this sacrificial death that Jesus took upon the curse and became the sin offering and sacrifice for the sake of all mankind so that we can be blessed.
Think for a moment when Jesus was baptized by John the Baptist and how something significant took place in His life:
When all the people were baptized, it came to pass that Jesus also was baptized; and while He prayed, the heaven was opened. And the Holy Spirit descended in bodily form like a dove upon Him, and a voice came from heaven which said, “You are My beloved Son; in You I am well pleased” (Luke 3:21-22 NKJV).
The Bible says that the Spirit of God came upon Jesus and God the Father was well pleased.
Immediately after Jesus was baptized and filled with the Holy Spirit:
Then Jesus, being filled with the Holy Spirit, returned from the Jordan and was led by the Spirit into the wilderness, being tempted for forty days by the devil… (Luke 4:1-2 NKJV).
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God’s Spirit led Jesus into a battle of the ages, to confront the devil, full of the Holy Spirit and make a stand for the Kingdom of God. Today, we may be facing battles or a huge conflict in our nation, but through the Holy Spirit and the power of His Word we prevail. I want you to be encouraged, because you may feel your efforts or any efforts to see our nation turn around are fruitless because of the intensity of the battle.
Yet we must always remember, whether it be concerning our lives, our loved ones, our cities or our nation, conflict is only meant to energize God’s anointing! This will always produce powerful results that will vanquish any enemy attacking us or our nation. Our adversary has overreached himself this time; but instead of destroying us, we will be energized by God’s power and witness unprecedented blessings as we reclaim souls for Jesus Christ! This is especially true concerning the anointing of preservation that safeguards the United States as it remains intact, promising an abundant harvest of souls ready to follow Him.
Knowing His Word is Vital
We must, like Jesus, continue to speak God’s Word in every situation and press deeper into the things of the Spirit. Remember, when Jesus ventured into the wilderness, He faced many temptations from the devil. But Jesus stood firm with God’s Word and soundly defeated the wicked one on each occasion. His triumph serves as a reminder to us all the importance of surrendering to our Lord’s will!
And the devil said to Him, “If You are the Son of God, command this stone to become bread.” But Jesus answered him, saying, “It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word of God’” (Luke 4:3-4 NKJV).
“If You will worship before me, all will be Yours.” And Jesus answered and said to him, “Get behind Me, Satan! For it is written, ‘You shall worship the Lord your God, and Him only you shall serve’” (Luke 4:7-8 NKJV).
“If You are the Son of God, throw Yourself down from here. For it is written: ‘He shall give His angels charge over you, to keep you,’ and, ‘In their hands they shall bear you up, lest you dash your foot against a stone.’” And Jesus answered and said to him, “It has been said, ‘You shall not tempt the Lord your God’” (Luke 4:9-12 NKJV).
As you can see with the temptation of our Lord in the wilderness. Jesus’s anointing and knowledge of God’s Word gave Him the power to overcome every temptation from the evil one, preserving His life and calling. His victory spread throughout Galilee, with many coming to witness His teachings in the synagogues and glorifying Him for it (Luke 4:14-15 NKJV). He clearly showed us that we can have the same victorious results, so that we can take courage knowing that nothing can stand against those who have been anointed by our Lord. Jesus came out of the wilderness in the power of the Spirit, and we will come out empowered by the Spirit in every situation as well!
The anointing is activated as we have seen by our words but also by speaking, knowing the anointed Word of God! When Jesus read from the book of Isaiah and declared His anointing, He activated and increased a powerful force of protection, or preservation, over Himself until it was time for His life to be given in sacrifice. This is why I continue to remind you that in the same way, when you boldly proclaim God’s word and declare, “The Spirit of the Lord is upon me! I am anointed,” you will experience more security and safety for yourself and your loved ones.
Declare Your Anointing
The time has come for Aaron to join his ancestors in death. He will not enter the land I am giving the people of Israel, because the two of you rebelled against my instructions…. Now take Aaron and his son Eleazar up Mount Hor. There you will remove Aaron’s priestly garments and put them on Eleazar, his son. Aaron will die there and join his ancestors.” …At the summit, Moses removed the priestly garments from Aaron and put them on Eleazar, Aaron’s son. Then Aaron died there on top of the mountain… (Numbers 20:24-28 NLT).
We not only need to declare that we are anointed but protect that precious anointing upon our lives. This is clearly shown when God told Aaron to remove his priestly garments, he died instantly. But as long as he was under the protection of God’s anointing, he lived under the preservation it provided.
In the same way, Elijah was preserved from all the attempts on his life by the wicked queen Jezebel. He too, like Aaron, was to give up his garment or mantle; once he did, he was carried into Heaven by the Lord’s chariot. This caused his mantle of anointing to be passed on to Elisha. Resulting in the anointing that was still in the mantle of Elijah and was the key to preserving Elisha’s life as well. This anointing was so powerful that it brought preservation when others would connect to it, as seen with a widow struggling with debt.
As a group of prophets watched in awe, Elisha provided oil for many empty jars that took care of her burden and kept her and her family safe, preserving them. Sadly, it’s evident that these other prophets did not receive the double portion blessed upon the widow through Elisha. Even after the prophet Elisha’s passing, we still see the anointing of preservation alive and available to those who would receive it! Think about that for a moment—how powerful the anointing of preservation is and that fact that it still in the bones of a dead man who was anointed! Second Kings 13:21 (NIV) tells us that Elisha’s bones were still anointed with preservation in death, we can see how powerful this blessing is.
Once while some Israelites were burying a man, suddenly they saw a band of raiders; so they threw the man’s body into Elisha’s tomb. When the body touched Elisha’s bones, the man came to life and stood up on his feet (2 Kings 13:21 NIV).
Think for a moment as in the examples with Aaron, Elijah, and Elisha, the power that was in the anointing they carried. In the same way when Jesus hung on the Cross, His garments were taken from Him by the soldiers. What they didn’t realize is the anointing of preservation that was upon the Lord—that even His garments dripped with that precious power! This was evident, especially in how many were supernaturally touched and healed as they touched them. These soldiers were spiritually blinded to the anointing in those garments, that they only saw the monetary value rather than a spiritual benefit or value available for them. They began gambling for them because of the value they brought, being a seamless gown (Luke 23:34). They ignorantly and maliciously stripped Him of His covering and protection.
Yet it also was a symbol, as with the others we discussed, that once the garment was removed, so was the anointing that preserved them. However, the good news is though it was sinful humanity that removed Jesus’s mantle, He willingly took on our sin to preserve us all (2 Corinthians 5:21) and soon after poured out His Spirit to empower us with the anointing, preserving our very lives!
Always remember, Jesus’s sacrifice was of His choosing. Yet, we reaped the benefits that preserve our lives and families. He told the crowd:
I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me—just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep. I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd. The reason my Father loves me is that I lay down my life—only to take it up again. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again. This command I received from my Father (John 10:14-18 NIV).
Jesus willingly laid His life down for us, giving up His life so ours can be preserved through His precious blood being shed and the anointing that He gives us. This is why we must always forgive others, especially those who mistreat us because forgiveness is key to preserving the blessing of God on our lives. We are brought to the importance of this, when our Lord, who is full of compassion and mercy, instructs us to forgive those who wronged us in Luke 23:34 (NLT). It is the key for keeping the anointing of preservation upon us and imperative we walk in holiness before Him.
This is why Ecclesiastes 9:8 tells us to keep our garments always white and let not our heads lack any anointing. It is because our garments being white speaks of our lifestyle and the blessing that covers us in the anointing of preservation that is poured out upon us. This is why it is essential that believers live a life of holiness to keep the anointing and protection of God. Otherwise, as the story of Samson shows, there may be dire consequences if God’s mantle is removed because of disobedience or sin.
We have discovered that it is the anointing that preserves you. So, how do you keep the anointing and even increase it? David provides us with answers in Psalm 15 (NLT):
Who may worship in your sanctuary, Lord? Who may enter your presence on your holy hill? Those who lead blameless lives and do what is right, speaking the truth from sincere hearts. Those who refuse to gossip or harm their neighbors or speak evil of their friends. Those who despise flagrant sinners, and honor the faithful followers of the Lord, and keep their promises even when it hurts. Those who lend money without charging interest, and who cannot be bribed to lie about the innocent. Such people will stand firm forever.
Staying connected to God and His anointing is one of the surest ways to protect and preserve your life. As with Jesus who spoke the Word, we must do the same, especially reading the Bible provides spiritual sustenance that increases your anointing. With this connection, you are truly empowered to live a victorious Christian life.
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wolint · 8 months
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FRESH MANNA
TRUST AND OBEY
Romans 2:13
Many of us will remember the chorus from the classic hymn:
Trust and obey,
For there's no other way
To be happy in Jesus
But to trust and obey
We all naively sing the words to this familiar hymn without giving them much thought but these important words convey the very heart of the Bible’s message.
The secret of spiritual growth, peace and blessing is simply trusting and obeying the Lord.
Christians often think that the secret of being "happy in Jesus" is found in some other method like "spiritual experiences"! No! The divine method for happiness and blessing is full trust in God and complete obedience to His word. Lack of faith and partial obedience not only result in unhappiness and loss of blessing, but they also bring serious consequences in the life of the believer.
Trust is a critical element to faith, the scriptures teach that we trust God by believing that His word is true, by obeying them even if we don’t understand and by obeying His will, no matter how difficult and depending on Him to see us through a step-by-step plan to His will and directives.
We must recognise that God is trustworthy and trust in Him above everything else says Psalm 33:21.
Before Abraham could receive his promise from God, he had to follow God’s instruction to relocate which wouldn’t have been easy, especially when he had no idea of what was ahead of him or where God was taking him and the sacrifices that would be required of him in Genesis 12.
When God stirs our hearts to do something, we must quickly obey the instructions and commands He gives us as seen in Ezra 1:5 and 2:1. This means we must listen attentively always to what the Lord is saying because obedience to Him involves listening to what he says. As declared in 1 Samuel 15:22.
Is the Lord saying something to you that you’re struggling to either hear or obey? Trust God! You will be rewarded for your faithfulness as seen in Matthew 25:29.
Abram was tested to see if he loved God above all and whether he could willingly leave all to go with God. The command God gave, is much the same as the gospel’s call, for natural affection must give way to Divine grace.
With God’s plan for Abraham unfolding in stages, Abraham had to learn to trust God one step and stage at a time.
Do you trust God? Will you obey what He tells you?
To trust God and obey His scripture more than listening and knowing, we are obligated to live an obedient lifestyle. Obedience is a faith requirement. It proves our faith is genuine when trust and knowledge are followed up by obedience.
Some people don’t like taking any step until they understand the finer details, but spiritual things do not work that way, we must believe to see, declares Hebrews 11:1. The first step into Jordan River was what was needed to part the river in Joshua 3:14-17.
God is always in the details and leaves nothing to chance, He would hold us up according to Jude 24. Just take the first step and God does the rest. We must trust and obey God while waiting on Him to fulfil His promises His time and way. He promises to meet all our needs in Matthew 6:33 and Philippians 4:19, as He did the children of Israel in the wilderness, He will supply all our needs if we trust and obey Him.
We are not made righteous by the Law, but only through faith and absolute reliance on and trust in Jesus Christ. Trusting Christ for salvation means we cease trusting in our efforts to make us righteous.
Trust God and obey Him, He will greatly bless you!
PRAYER: Lord of host, thank you for being so trustworthy. I ask that you help me to always listen and obey your instructions in Jesus’ name. Amen.
Shalom
WOMEN OF LIGHT INT.PRAYER MIN.
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spiritsoulandbody · 1 year
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#DailyDevotion Turn To The LORD In Prayer When Trial Hit
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#DailyDevotion Turn To The LORD In Prayer When Trial Hit Psalm 17 O LORD, listen to a just case. Hear my cry, listen to my prayer, for there's no dishonesty on my lips. 2Let me get justice from You; Your eyes see what is right. Here is probably an early psalm of David from the times when Saul is after him unjustly. It was Saul who turned against David when the people started praising David for his conquest beginning with Goliath. He was afraid David was trying to take the throne away from him and his family. But Saul had already lost that because of his unbelief. David many times could have wrenched the kingdom away from Saul. Several times he could have killed Saul and who could blame him. Saul was trying to kill him. David recognized Saul's anointing and respected it. He trusted in the LORD to deal with Saul and is in this psalm turning to the LORD to do so. Jesus in his visible ministry to us also recognized the anointing the leaders of his day had. They also were afraid Jesus was after their power and influence. While he verbally disagreed with them at times, he subjected himself to their authority and did not raise up his disciples or his angels against them. He handed himself over to God his Father to take care of him and do what is right. 3Test my heart, examine me at night, test me in fire; You will find no evil intentions in me; nor do they cross my lips. David calls upon the LORD to test him, to examine him to see if there is any evil intention in him. I don't know if we would be as bold. Perhaps we may find in ourselves some wicked thought of revenge. Hopefully we recognized the evil of revenge and out of faith we did not act on it. The LORD's testing is also purifying. He does test us in the flames of trials and tribulations to purify our faith. Peter reminds us the LORD does this in his first epistle. Certainly our LORD Jesus Christ was tested in the wilderness and in the Garden and placed himself in the hands of God our Father to take care of him. 4As for what others do - by Your word of warning I've kept myself from violent ways. 5My steps have not strayed from Your paths; my feet have not slipped. Perhaps some of David's companions, maybe some who wanted Saul out may have told him or advised him to rebel against Saul and take his life. David listened to the LORD and waited on the LORD to deal with Saul. While David had his anointing, so did Saul. David trusted the anointing he had received from Samuel and trusted in the LORD to carry that out. So David was not violent against those whom the LORD forbade him to be violent towards. Jesus did not call down thousands of angels to deliver him either. He had to fulfill his mission. He was anointed by God to be the sacrifice for the sin of the world. He trusted his Father to raise him from the dead and seat him at the Father's right hand. You too are anointed by God in baptism. God has a mission for you as well. We are called to follow in Christ's footsteps, not caring for the things of this world and its glory. We have been promised to be raised from the dead and reign with Christ Jesus in the world to come. 6I call You, O God, because You answer me. Turn Your ear to me; listen to what I say. David called on God because he believed God answered him. Jesus teaches us to pray with the promise our Father hears us and answers us in the manner that is best for us. Join David in his faith and open your mouths to your heavenly Father trusting He will turn his ear and listen. Heavenly Father, there are many trials and tribulations we experience. Give us your Spirit to do your will, open our mouths in prayer and trust you hear us. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. Read the full article
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When you have God in you it's no longer a matter of arguing with people but simply demonstrate the God in you.
And you shall remember that the Lord your God led you all the way these forty years in the wilderness, to humble you and test you, to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep His commandments or not.
So He humbled you, allowed you to hunger, and fed you with manna which you did not know nor did your fathers know, that He might make you know that man shall not live by bread alone; but man lives by every word that proceeds from the mouth of the Lord.
Your garments did not wear out on you, nor did your foot swell these forty years.
You should know in your heart that as a man chastens his son, so the Lord your God chastens you.
“Therefore you shall keep the commandments of the Lord your God, to walk in His ways and to fear Him.
We serve a God who chastises His children for their good purpose. The above scripture portion tells us why God made the Israelites wander in the wilderness for forty years. The reason why God made them wander in the wilderness was to humble and test them, what was in their heart and most of the Israelites failed the test and they could not enter into the promised land.
Pride is the first sin committed in heaven, so Lucifer was thrown out and since then it has been giving mankind a dose of pride to anyone who needs it free of cost. Pride comes when we have what others don't have ( beauty, education, finances, property, life partner or children). Jealousy comes when what others have and we don't have. Pride and jealousy are twins, they cannot be separated, they walk hand in hand. Pride is the root cause for every problem, it brings a person low, whereas humbleness promotes and elevates a person. The greatest example of humbleness is Jesus Christ, the Son of God, the Creator of the entire creation came searching for His creation and gave up His life on the cross of Calvary to redeem mankind from sin.
Man sees the outside, whereas God sees what's on the inside. Man's heart is so precious that both God and the devil are after it, God wants to rescue and save the person to take him to heaven to be with Him for eternity, whereas the devil wants to destroy a person and take him to hell to dance with it for eternity. The choice is in our hands we can either follow God or the devil. Man's heart is always unstable and God knows everything that we think even before it comes out from our hearts. Heart is the most important part of our body and it is also very important in our walk with God, with the heart we believe and accept Jesus as the Lord and savior of our lives, from the heart comes faith which helps us to successfully walk with God and complete this earthly journey and then enter into heaven.
God said guard your heart with all diligence for out of it flows all the issues of life. Jesus said what goes inside doesn't make a person clean, but what comes out of the heart of a person makes him clean and unclean. If good things flow from a person it will make him clean and if unclean things flow then it will make a person unclean. The heart condition of a person will determine the person's walk with God.
God will not use what is not tried and tested, before blessing a person, God will always check the heart condition of the person. God had promised Abraham that He would take his descendants into a land flowing with milk and honey, but before He could take them there, He had to check their heart condition and sadly many failed the test. Jesus came into this world to save and redeem mankind, but before He could start His earthly ministry, He was led through a test in the wilderness. God allowed Satan to test Jesus and He passed the test and fulfilled God's plan and purpose for His life on this earth and all things in heaven, on the earth and under the earth is put under His feet and He rules and reigns for ever and ever.
God works with a person over a period of time sometimes for decades, then basing on the heart condition of the person, He will fulfill the promise. Abraham waited on God for twenty five years to receive the promised child. Jesus waited on God for thirty years and then He started His earthly ministry, He performed miracles, healings, signs and wonders and He fulfilled God's plan for His life. ( Religion wrongly teaches people that Jesus performed miracles from when He was a infant, that's a big lie from the devil from the pit of hell )
The greater the waiting period the greater the miracle and greatly the person will be used by God. The reason why God makes the person wait on Him is to prepare the person to handle the blessing. If the person is not prepared and processed then they are all chances that the blessing will be lost and wasted. Saul didn't go through the process time and he lost the kingdom, whereas David went through the process time and he and his descendants are seated on the throne of Israel forever ( Jesus comes from the lineage of David).
Today make a decision not to grow impatient with God during the process time, ask God to give you the grace and strength to go through the process without murmuring and grumbling, but with joy and peace in your heart. God is the author and finisher of your faith, what He started in your life He will finish it greatly, grandly and gloriously. Tell yourself I'll wait patiently on God for my time to come to pass and I'll fulfill the plan and purpose of God for my life and be a blessing to the kingdom of God and to everyone around me.
Being confident that this very thing that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.
Philippians 1:6
Father we thank You for the word, Lord thank You for the good work that You have started in our lives, give us the grace and strength to go through the process cheerfully and joyfully without murmuring and grumbling, and we thank You that the best You have in store for our lives is coming to pass in our lives in Jesus matchless name we ask and pray.
Amen and Amen.
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edenmemes · 3 years
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skyward sword sentence starters
more to be added !
❝ you promised to meet me before it starts, remember? ❞ ❝ you seem pretty...relaxed about the whole thing. ❞ ❝ is something wrong? what’s the hurry? ❞ ❝ sometimes i just don’t know what’s going on in your head. ❞ ❝ i'm not like you. i fail at everything i try. ❞ ❝ a shrimpy boy like you hardly looks the part of a hero. ❞ ❝ swatting a few monsters will be no trouble for you. ❞ ❝ run and play this time. get in my way again, though, and you’re dead. ❞ ❝ don’t even pretend that was an accident! ❞ ❝ do you doubt these eyes? i look upon your shirt and i see a single thread loose on your sleeve stitching. ❞ ❝ this is no place for one such as you. and yet here you stand. ❞ ❝ i need to vent all this unhealthy anger,     and your agony is such a great stress reliever. ❞ ❝ remember what we discussed. restrain yourself. focus on the task at hand. ❞ ❝ do my words anger you? do my words sting? let them. ❞ ❝ you don’t come by here just to see me, do you? ❞ ❝ what’s wrong? you just made a face like you wanted to say something. ❞ ❝ oh, i get it. you’re trying to weasel out of having to practice. ❞ ❝ i guess it’s not all bad. at least i’m getting paid. ❞ ❝ there’s something i’ve been meaning to talk to you about.... ❞ ❝ would you wake up, straighten up, and grow a backbone already? ❞ ❝ nice try, but you’re not fooling me. ❞ ❝ i...i have to go. i’m sorry. ❞ ❝ folks were always cheering me on like it was a parade. but as you know, time passes. ❞ ❝ you keep some very strange company, friend. ❞ ❝ i don’t know if it’s safe yet...i’m going to stay here awhile longer. ❞ ❝ oh no. you’ve done it now! there’s no escaping this one! ❞ ❝ so, what now? are you going to cry? ❞ ❝ i can’t begin to tell you how sorry i am for pulling you into all of this. ❞ ❝ what is wrong with you? just look at what you’ve done! ❞ ❝ what we’ve seen here today defies explanation. ❞ ❝ you put up more of a fight than i would have thought possible out of such a soft person. ❞ ❝ did you really just draw your sword? foolish. ❞ ❝ should you heed the call of destiny,     i don’t know what dangers you may have to face. ❞ ❝ i can’t help being such a coward...i’m really sorry. ❞ ❝ i fear i spent far too long teasing and toying with you. ❞ ❝ you do your people proud. ❞ ❝ how long do we have to live in constant fear? ❞ ❝ i'll just beat you within an inch of your life! ❞ ❝ dawn is drawing near. it has been a long night for the both of us, hasn’t it? ❞ ❝ you were limp and unconscious. i feared the worst. ❞ ❝ what do you think you’re doing sneaking out with that? ❞ ❝ such a beautiful day, but we’re too busy to enjoy it. some things never change. ❞ ❝ i guess you’ll never learn unless you run into trouble one day. ❞ ❝ look at my face. if that’s your idea of a joke, i’m not laughing. ❞ ❝ you appeared to be relishing that snooze, so i declined to wake you. ❞ ❝ huh? oh, uh, nothing. really, i was, uh...talking to myself. ❞ ❝ you’re looking a little pale... ❞ ❝ i imagine you and i will cross paths again. until then, do not lower your guard. ❞ ❝ you certainly are persistent... ❞ ❝ all that may be well intentioned and true, but it doesn’t mean it’s right. ❞ ❝ i’m prepared to pay the price for what i’ve done. ❞ ❝ i had no idea we were fated to carry such a heavy destiny. ❞ ❝ i need your strength to tip the scales in our favor. ❞ ❝ all this training, and no results! ❞ ❝ all i’ve hears so far is a bunch of babbling about destiny,     but that’s a load of garbage. ❞ ❝ when night draws her tenebrous curtain across the sky, i come here. ❞ ❝ what in the world just happened? did you use some kind of magic? ❞ ❝ please, see it through and prove the legends true. ❞ ❝ i was happy just spending my days hanging around with you. i wanted that feeling to last forever. ❞ ❝ you are vital to a mission of great importance. ❞ ❝ the chances of that happening are just about less than zero. ❞ ❝ i hate to break it to you, but today’s the day i bust up this adorable little fantasyland you’re living in. ❞ ❝ this is a war, and the fate of the land hangs in the balance. ❞ ❝ i know you, and you’re no hero. ❞ ❝ you’re messing with me. say it again, i dare you. ❞ ❝ you float through life with your head in the clouds. ❞ ❝ i don’t do charity for wimps. ❞ ❝ what’s this...? what is it that my eyes behold? ❞ ❝ don’t even think about it! are we clear? ❞ ❝ the point is your work here is done. i got it covered from here. ❞ ❝ my eyes foresee a hazardous, thorny road ahead for you... ❞ ❝ you...this is your fault, you know. ❞ ❝ my heart is bursting with thoughts of you. ❞ ❝ i have a serious dilemma on my mind right now, and you’re distracting me. ❞ ❝ i’ll make you proud. you’ll see! ❞ ❝ feels dangerous. something could jump out at us at any moment. ❞ ❝ we’re talking about a tale that’s been passed down over a lot of years, so i wouldn’t put much stock in it. ❞ ❝ i have the right to experience an unfettered and passionate love, don’t i? ❞ ❝ i’ll tell you, it gives even a big guy like me the creeps. ❞ ❝ oh...how can i get you to notice me? ❞ ❝ i get the feeling nothing i can say will talk you out of it. ❞ ❝ my love for you is wider than the horizon and deeper than the clouds. ❞ ❝ trust my piercing eyes...listen to my pure and innocent voice. ❞ ❝ i feel so excited, so cheerful, so full of life. ❞ ❝ i sense a silent power dwelling somewhere in your frame. ❞ ❝ this turn of events has left me with a strong appetite for bloodshed. ❞ ❝ there’s no doubting it. the gears of fate have begun to turn. ❞ ❝ i'm sorry. i was lost in thought there for a moment. ❞ ❝ don’t men open doors for a lady anymore? how long am i supposed to stand here waiting for a little chivalry? ❞ ❝ i hate even saying this, but i guess you got it all figured out. ❞ ❝ you must not push yourself. you’re still recovering. ❞ ❝ you think you’re pretty suave, don’t you? ❞ ❝ i know you’re in a hurry, so i really appreciate you taking the time to help. ❞ ❝ i saw it, but i was able to escape by the seat of my pants. ❞ ❝ do you have any idea how that made me feel inside? furious! outraged! sick with anger! ❞ ❝ you’re really something else. i could never imagine myself doing what you’re about to do. ❞ ❝ i must aid you in fulfilling the great destiny that is your burden to carry. ❞ ❝ i should have believed you...i’m sorry. ❞ ❝ lately, when i think about you, my head gets all fuzzy, my heart races, i get short of breath, and i feel all dizzy... ❞ ❝ you should know better than that to fret about me. ❞ ❝ thanks for jumping in there to rescue me. ❞ ❝ hey, hold on there! what are you trying to pull all of a sudden? ❞ ❝ your face cries out in earnest wonder, and that cry is: ‘what’s this?!’ ❞ ❝ i promise up front not to murder you. ❞ ❝ you...didn’t hear any of that, did you? there’s no way you heard, right? ❞ ❝ i tell you, all sorts of weird things are going on lately. ❞ ❝ calamitous visions appear before me... ❞ ❝ you...make me so happy...i think i’m going to keel over... ❞ ❝ i wanted you to be the first to see me like this. ❞ ❝ i can’t imagine a more fitting color for you. it’s as though you were born to wear it. ❞ ❝ i bet you can’t even decide what to have for lunch on your own, huh? ❞ ❝ amazing, right? wrong! it is beyond amazing! ❞ ❝ it can’t be easy for you, can it? ❞ ❝ you’ll see in time that you have your own role to play in all this. ❞ ❝ trust in fate to guide your feet. ❞ ❝ i bet you’re here just to check me out, right? ❞ ❝ i just hope nothing has happened. i’m worried sick thinking about it. ❞ ❝ whoa...you’re kind of imploding my mind right now. ❞ ❝ if you wanna live again one day, you should head for home. ❞ ❝ you have a great journey before you, and those clothes...they don’t look up to the task. ❞ ❝ did you manage to get even a wink of sleep last night? ❞ ❝ ever heard of banging your knuckles against the door? it’s called knocking. ❞ ❝ so, uh...yeah. just how long have you been standing there? ❞ ❝ honestly, it’s almost as though you become a completely different person when you worry about me. ❞ ❝ you showing up here must mean we’re connected somehow. like fate. ❞ ❝ sorry to put you through that. i guess i owe you one now. ❞ ❝ to tell you the truth, i’m feeling a little frustrated, and right now i just need someone to vent to. ❞ ❝ what’s with you? leave me alone if you don’t want anything. ❞ ❝ hearing that is such a...huge weight off my mind. ❞ ❝ though your journey will put you in harms way, you must endure. ❞ ❝ i'm just deadweight. what kinda use is that to anyone... ❞ ❝ seriously, what is that thing over there?! ❞ ❝ before i say another word, i feel like i owe you an apology. ❞ ❝ during your long journey, you’ve grown so much. ❞ ❝ from the moment i laid my eyes on you, i could tell you had a gentle and generous heart. ❞ ❝ oh dear...i don’t know what’s come over me all of a sudden... ❞ ❝ you don’t appear to have any serious injuries. for that much we can be grateful. ❞ ❝ i can see into those dopey eyes of yours. ❞ ❝ i can finally smile and laugh again! thank you ever so much. ❞ ❝ i think i might of broke something. ❞ ❝ is that it? i thought it was going to put up more of a fight. ❞ ❝ i thought we were goners this time. sort of glad i was wrong about that. ❞ ❝ what? i don’t seem like my usual self? ❞ ❝ this place needs a name. a name fitting for this rugged, adventurous wilderness. ❞ ❝ what were you thinking? you scared a year off my life! ❞ ❝ care to explain just what you meant by ‘our special moment alone’? ❞ ❝ my advice? work hard and wish with all your heart. ❞ ❝ say, you look all flustered. ❞ ❝ i fear we can’t dwell on our success. ❞ ❝ the world is bursting with undiscovered surprises, isn’t it? ❞ ❝ you're not exactly mr/mrs.perfect either, are you? ❞ ❝ this is easily as scary as i thought it would be. ❞ ❝ i swear this neighborhood’s getting crummier every day. ❞ ❝ you ain’t as dumb as you look. ❞ ❝ i was going to ask if you wanted me to take care of you forever... ❞ ❝ i need to learn how to keep these delirious dreams in check. ❞ ❝ maybe you should forget about everything that happened here tonight. ❞ ❝ can you imagine a more gruesome fate? ❞ ❝ there are more monsters about than before, so be careful. ❞ ❝ human desire is an insatiable, fearsome thing. ❞ ❝ i sense an evil presence on the other side of this door. ❞ ❝ you understand, don’t you? i’m not wrong about this, am i? ❞ ❝ i never wanted to lay eyes on you again. ❞ ❝ i would have gotten discouraged if you hadn’t come by to cheer me on. you gave me motivation. ❞ ❝ who do you think you are, getting involved in my business like that? ❞ ❝ i just wish there was more i could do for you... ❞ ❝ i don’t even understand how you could make such a wild accusation! ❞ ❝ it was at that moment i finally realized. i realized that...i love you. ❞ ❝ make sure you come home every now and then. nothing like a good sleep in your own bed. ❞ ❝ you’d better not keep me waiting. ❞ ❝ make sure you put your heart into it! i won’t stand for anything but your best. ❞ ❝ how could you be swayed by the temptation of material gain?     do you have no honor? ❞ ❝ you really want to hear about all my troubles? that’s kind of you. ❞ ❝ you...weren’t supposed to see that whole spectacle. how embarrassing... ❞ ❝ you have only succeeded in buying us a little more time. ❞ ❝ watch it! that’s no way to talk to someone who just saved your life! ❞ ❝ you look like you need to get something off your chest. ❞ ❝ know that all the questions you have now will be answered in time. ❞ ❝ there is nothing natural about these tremors. ❞ ❝ you might just be the person i need! you seem pretty good with the ladies. ❞ ❝ it’s great to hear you’re so confident in me. ❞ ❝ ideal love is unfettered and passionate. anything less than that can’t really be called love at all. ❞ ❝ you're incessant buzzing around my head like some irksome gadfly when i’m this busy is...making me very disagreeable. ❞ ❝ you may not have noticed, but i’m trying to hide here.     could you please scoot along? ❞ ❝ you'd better keep your eyes to yourself, if you know what i mean. ❞ ❝ have you come to laugh at me in my miserable state? ❞ ❝ you...you came to see me! i’m so happy. ❞ ❝ your job is simple! you make sure none of these monsters lays a claw on me. not...one...claw. ❞ ❝ now is not the time to be picky about who will help you. ❞ ❝ watch carefully while i demonstrate what a real hero looks like. ❞ ❝ you are something else! there is nothing you cannot do. ❞ ❝ if you think about how often we meet, you have to admit that our relationship has gone beyond friendship, you know? ❞ ❝ i’ll make the affair so excruciating, you’ll deafen yourself with the shrill sound of your own screams. ❞ ❝ i was right, then. there is something special about you. ❞ ❝ i should have reprimanded you the last time we met, but instead i was...soft. ❞ ❝ ha-ha! you didn’t see that coming, did you? ❞ ❝ you really are a snake in the grass. ❞ ❝ you are indeed worthy of being called a hero. ❞ ❝ i’m not used to getting stared at like this. it’s making me blush. ❞ ❝ i can’t hide anything from you, can i? ❞ ❝ the longer i train, the more i realize i’ll never measure up to you. ❞ ❝ whoa...you took out every last one of them. ❞ ❝ i know how bad this must look to you right now, but i assure you i mean no harm. ❞ ❝ it’s all very strange, but i doubt there’s much of a connection between these things. ❞ ❝ you're a weird one, climbing all the way up here. ❞ ❝ don’t cry --- it’s perfectly, mostly safe! ❞ ❝ you and i, we’re bound by that thread of fate. destined to fight. ❞ ❝ meet me in battle, and the thread of fate that binds us will be soaked crimson with your blood. ❞ ❝ i do not wish to dwell on what may have happened if you hadn’t been here. ❞ ❝ you have awakened a wrath that will burn for eons! ❞ ❝ you really like those fantasy stories, eh? ❞ ❝ there is one teensy, tiny thing i lack...namely, mercy. ❞ ❝ i must warn you, i won’t go easy on you this time. ❞ ❝ i might be willing to forgive and forget if you’ll strike a deal. ❞ ❝ since i know i can be honest with you, i’ll admit i got a little sulky. it was frowns all around. ❞ ❝ i see you’re still among the living. ❞ ❝ i saw them dragging you off unconscious, so i tailed them. ❞ ❝ i want you to visit me at my house tonight. ❞ ❝ you don’t have to say a word. i can see how you feel by the spark in your eye. ❞ ❝ you’ll see. i’ll be as tough as you in no time. ❞ ❝ it’s not like ‘oh, hey, that person’s back! i’m so happy!’ or anything like that... ❞ ❝ whoa...that’s some really terrible handwriting. ❞ ❝ i would very much like it if you would go out with me. ❞ ❝ truly? you choose me? ❞ ❝ i swear to you, whatever it takes, i will drag you into an eternity of torment. ❞ ❝ you and i, we’re bound by a thread of fate. ❞ ❝ i’ll watch over you, protecting you from afar. ❞ ❝ until then, we’ll keep our love secret. ❞ ❝ this news has just filled my heart with rainbows! ❞ ❝ this place seems strangely familiar... ❞ ❝ don’t you gotta take care of your own business first? ❞ ❝ they’re not going to do anything nice if they catch you. ❞ ❝ it’s not humane to tease someone this bored. ❞ ❝ i’m not some sideshow for you to gawk at. ❞ ❝ it’s weird to say out loud, but that’s just how i feel right now. ❞ ❝ you can’t break me with interrogation. you’ll never make me talk. ❞ ❝ word is there’s a huge treasure hidden in these here ruins... ❞ ❝ what? that’s not weird to say! ❞ ❝ ...i understand your true feelings. better than you know. ❞ ❝ all the fairytales that we heard growing up...they appear all too real. ❞ ❝ do i look sad? no, i’m doing what i want to do! ❞ ❝ i don’t know what came over me! i had no clue i had the talent to make something like this. ❞ ❝ you shouldn’t be out here in the open with no way to defend yourself. ❞ ❝ you do have the tendency to cause trouble for those you ‘help’. ❞ ❝ as far as i’m concerned, i got nothing but time. ❞ ❝ don’t you play coy with me. i know that you know, so why not let me in on the fun? ❞ ❝ so you really think a sob story like that is going to work on me? what a joke. ❞ ❝ i’d take pleasure in punishing you, but i have no time for recreation. ❞ ❝ sorry to leave you on your own, but you look like you can handle it. ❞ ❝ remember --- it’s a secret to everybody. ❞ ❝ it isn’t as action packed as what you’re doing, but maybe this is my destiny. ❞ ❝ don’t you just love the way it smells down here? ❞ ❝ defending the land...it’s my purpose, i think. it’s why i’m here. ❞ ❝ what do i know...you might just surprise me. ❞ ❝ fibber! you’re a fibbity fibber! ❞ ❝ you needn’t even say it. i can tell from the look of sheer astonishment on your face. ❞ ❝ you have had this destiny thrust upon you without warning...    or choice, for that matter. ❞ ❝ don’t do anything heroic and get yourself caught. ❞ ❝ ...you want to tell me but you can’t? ❞ ❝ you know, i really worry about you. it’s a weakness of mine. ❞ ❝ try not to get in the way of my shots, ok? ❞ ❝ i haven’t slept a wink in...ahhh...i don’t even know how long. ❞ ❝ i had my suspicions, but until now i wasn’t sure. ❞ ❝ you seem a good deal stronger than the last time we met. ❞ ❝ i would be remiss if i didn’t let you know of the weight on my heart. ❞ ❝ i have a reputation to protect, you know. ❞ ❝ listen closely. do you hear that? ❞
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prismatic-bell · 2 years
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By the way, if you're one of the people who tries to claim modern-day Catholicism isn't antisemitic, I was looking up information on who "St. James the Less" is because I was trying to figure out what the "the less" referred to. Here are some things I found on his page on catholic.org, with my corrections: "His mother Mary was either a sister or a close relative of the Blessed Virgin, and for that reason, according to Jewish custom, he was sometimes called the brother of the Lord." WE DON'T RECOGNIZE JESUS AS "THE LORD." This literally cannot be correct. Literally nothing about this sentence is correct. "The historians Eusebius and Hegesippus relayed that St. James was martyred for the Faith by the Jews in the Spring of the year 62, although they greatly esteemed his person and had given him the surname of "James the Just."" Eusebius' works are known to be antisemitic (including the fact that he blamed the Jews for the crucifixion) and are not a primary source, given that he wasn't even born until 260 or so. Hegesippus' works are completely lost except for passages quoted by Eusebius. "St. James addresses himself to the "twelve tribes that are in the Dispersion," that is, to Christians outside Palestine; but nothing in the Epistle indicates that he is thinking only of Jewish Christians." THE TWELVE TRIBES OF THE DIASPORA, YOU MEAN, THE TWELVE TRIBES OF ISRAEL???? Those tribes? The EXPLICITLY JEWISH TRIBES REFERRED TO THROUGHOUT THE TANAKH AS THE TWELVE TRIBES?! So I popped over to the page that's specifically about Judaism. Hoo-boy. "In the Holy Land, and far and wide beyond its boundaries, besides local Sanhedrins, there were synagogues supplying the ordinary religious and educational needs of the people, and wielding the power of excommunication against breakers of the Law, oral and written." EXCOMMUNICATION DOES NOT EXIST IN JUDAISM. ONCE A JEW, ALWAYS A JEW. You might be exiled, but you couldn't be stripped of being Jewish. "Plainly, the Pharisees and the scribes who belonged to their party had generally won the day." ...nnnnnnnnnnnno. The Sadducees were still very much around, as were Jewish groups not even mentioned by this page like the Nazarites and Samaritans. Ancient Jewry was as wide and varied as it is now. "In reality, the Jews were far from prepared for the fulfilment of the promises which the almighty had repeatedly made to their race. This was first shown to them, when a voice, that of John, the son of Zachary and the herald of the Messias, was heard in the wilderness of Juda. It summoned, but with little success, all the Jews to a genuine sorrow for sin, which was indeed foreign to their hearts, but which could alone, despite their title of "children of Abraham ", fit them for the kingdom near at hand." Yeah that's because "sin" doesn't exist in Judaism, if you did shit you weren't supposed to do way-back-when then you made a sacrifice and tried not to do it again. "This kingdom is indeed rejected by those who had the first claim to its possession and seemingly were the best qualified for entering into it; but all those, both Jews and Gentiles, who earnestly avail themselves of the invitation of the Gospel will be admitted. This is really a new Kingdom of God to be transferred to a new nation and governed by a new set of rulers, although it is no less truly the continuation of the Kingdom of God under the Old Covenant." SUPERCESSIONISM!! GOTTA LOVE IT!!! And the idea that Jews "rejected the covenant"? Oh BOY. Oh BOY. "He also set aside the fabric of legalism which their leaders regarded as to be perpetuated in the Messianic kingdom , but which in reality they should have considered as either useless or positively harmful now that the time had come to extend " salvation out of the Jews" to the nations at large; plainly, the legal sacrifices and ordinances had no longer any reason of being, since they had been instituted to prevent Israel from forsaking the true God, and since Monotheism was now firmly established in
Israel ; plainly, too, the "traditions of the Elders" should not be tolerated any longer, since they had gradually led the Jews to disregard some of the most essential precepts of the moral law embodied in the decalogue." Oh. Oh yeah. There we go. ABANDON TORAH. THAT'S WHAT WE SHOULD DO, ABANDON TORAH. Ignoring that right in Torah it says "it is better that you should forget me and remember my Torah than to forget my Torah and remember me." I think the issue with me posting this may have been its length. Oh yeah, it only gets worse from here. So meet me in part two.
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nishigo · 3 years
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an anomaly. // bennett x reader.
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a page from the book of memories.
[ p a g e 3 2 9 。 ]
authors note: hello! this is my first ever attempt at something for genshin impact. this is longer than i expected, and there may be errors here and there, so i am sorry about that in advance. i do hope you will enjoy it though. i got bennett yesterday after rolling and although many say he’s annoying...he’s very much like me in real life. coincidence? i think not. Σ('◉⌓◉’) i also rolled a girl named keqing. she seems nice, and is a five star, but i don’t know if she’s rare. i truly don’t know how this system works, apologies. T^T anyways, traveler, happy reading. (*'▽'*)
word count : 2191
tw : none that i can think of. very much fluff. and perhaps a touch of a flirty!reader. :)
request status at time of posting : open.
in which he had finally someone who could balance out his unluckiness.
would you like to read?
> 行。 ( y e s )
> 不行 。( n o )
———
Bennett was, to put it simply, confused.
He had just finished a mission with you, being your support the whole entire way through. There had been an offering that had been posted on the tavern’s walls in dark, smudged text that caught his eye at an earlier time. It read that whoever could get rid of the new pop-up hilichurl camp that blocked the path to Liyue would receive a grand sum of Mora. Course, running low on money, Bennett had decided to take up the offer. They would be easy enough to take down, just a simple slash of his sword and a few burns here and there could get the job done in no time. However, there was a problem.
No one would come with him.
Bennett knew that he was very...loud. And he was energetic. And annoying. And, though he hated to admit it...he was unlucky.
Everything seemed stacked up against him. Everyone he turned to in the tavern took a simple glance at him and rejected the offer with no further questions asked. He would try to convince them, but they would simply get more annoyed at his stubbornness and shoo him away with a flick of a hand or some splash of beer to the face. It’s not like he could take the older adventurers out either, they could barely walk on their own two feet. They were so old that they certainly would have shriveled up in the sun if he brought them along. So there that option went, leaving him with practically nothing else to turn to.
But then, if he had no one to go with him, what would happen? Would he continue to be stuck in that tavern? No, he wouldn’t allow himself to waste away like that. He was meant to be out there, in a world that could supply him with the thrill and rush that his heart yearned for. The boy desired to be just as great of an adventurer as the ones who came before him, or perhaps, dare he dream, even greater than them. Bennett desired to be a legend. But being a legend could not be done alone, even if that was what Bennett determined he would forever be, deep in the back of his brain.
Which is why you were such an anomaly.
You were the last person he spoke to that night. He was a complete mess. His shirt was damp with beer and some white wine, his white locks were a birds nest with the goggles sliding off slowly, and his eyes looked devoid of life as he took a deep inhale and they brightened up again. This was his last chance. You were the one who was either going to make or break this plan.
“Hello stranger! I am the great Bennett, and I was wondering if you would be able to help assist me with a mission that was posted on the tavern walls. It’s about the hilichurl camp by Liyue! Although I am rather strong, I need some help so it’s done more efficiently and faster. I’m even willing to split the Mora with you that we make out of it! What do you say?” Bennett recited his lines again, as if he was in an interview of sorts. His leafy green eyes watched as you scrunched up your eyebrows, as if thinking and examining him. Your face was blank other than that, lips in a straight line and hand cupping your cheek. Bennett found it to be quite terrifying. It was such an intimidating look, in fact, that he was about to ask you to forget about it before you spoke first.
“Sure.” You stated simply, a smile forming on your face as you crossed your arms.
“Ahhh, understood, I’ll get goi- WAIT!” The pyro boy turned to look right at you as he gasped. His face was one of shock morphed with a cute, ecstatic look. One could compare it to a puppy of sorts. You were not meant to say yes. You were meant to be like everyone else and reject him. He was dumbfounded as he grabbed a hold of your shoulders and tilted his head.
“You’re not joking?!”
“Course not! Why would I do such a thing?” You rebuked before he giddily jumped up and down while pulling you up to a sweet hug. It was a gentle and firm one, though, he pulled away quickly after realizing he still wreaked of alcohol. You told him you didn’t mind it though, making him rub the back of his head sheepishly and laugh. You two would converse for the night, agreeing to meet up at the gate the next morning so he could lead the way to the camp and also split the mora gained evenly. After the small chat, you would leave the tavern to stay at the local inn for the night and get some rest. Bennett’s eyes were trained on you as the door then closed, realization hitting him like a truck: he found someone. He found a real person to take on a mission. Better yet, they were as gorgeous as they were strong. This was better than any dream he could have made up. Bennett decided he had to turn in for the night soon after you left, taking a spot in his cozy bed under the sheets. His eyes closed as the curtains rustled at the soft wind that blew through the window. The pyro’s last thought before going to bed was that he truly hoped that you would fulfill your end of the deal and show up.
And you kept your promise. You were there as the morning sun rose to reflect your beautiful skin, hair flowing gently in the light breeze as he ran up to you and froze. You looked powerful now that you were out of the tavern and he could see you properly. You had on your adventure gear, dressed appropriately for a mission that required taking out many enemies. What caught his attention, though, was your white cape with golden accents that flowed from behind. Flicking your hood down and off your head, your face was now fully visible as you watched him stare. He was adorable, like a little baby who was just discovering the world for the first time.
“You’re really gonna do this with me?” Bennett asked in wonder. His face was blank as a smirk landed itself on your features. You positioned yourself to stand upright, away from the wall you were leaning on as you held your weapon of choice in your dominant hand. As for the other, you outstretched it towards him with a grin.
“Lead the way.”
Bennett didn’t even have to think twice about it as he eagerly took your hand into his own gloved one and began to lead you out of the city and into the wilderness. He seemed to be very hyper from what you could tell, as he couldn’t seem to stop commenting on how he was destined for greatness, or how thankful he was that you were going to come along with him. He also bombarded you with questions about yourself as well, like if this was your first time in Mondstadt or what kind of element you had control over. He was easily excited, but especially when you told him that you were a traveler that had been moving around place to place to see the sights of the world. It was why you were so strong, you had defeated a wide range of enemies, great and small, on your journeys. Bennett was fascinated by that, drawing him to be more and more curious about you. Alas, the questions and storytelling had to wait. You two had arrived at the camp, and it was time to take some enemies down.
You two ended up making a fantastic duo of sorts. With his sword and experience, he was able to cut down enemies with ease. You did the same, your speed and agility outmatched as you two basically made a massacre out of the camp. His fire would spread through the long grass, and with the natural wind, spread quickly to begin burning it all down. You were quick to come to his aid when he would sometimes get backed against the rocks or a tree, helping him heal with some quick magic you had learned. It wasn’t anything special, but it was enough to keep him up and moving. With such precision and perseverance, your duo was able to defeat the camp with relative ease. However, both you and Bennett were still tired from fighting for so long. You two were out of breath as the fire died out, heaving for air as you gave him a head pat and grinned.
“You did amazing out there. You’re a talented pyro user as well, I’m impressed.” There you went again, making him all confused as he sat there. You just complimented him. A powerful traveler, that has practically defeated every sort of monster there is out there, was impressed by him. Bennett, the unlucky, was impressive? For the first time, he was rendered speechless as he looked at you. It was now night, the moon high in the sky as it illuminated your face. Oh goodness, you looked ethereal. The way the stars were reflected in your eyes, the way the gold of your cape sparkled and flowed behind you, the way you smiled at him, like he was the most handsome boy you had ever seen. The only thing that stopped the comfortable silence between you two was the fact that he shivered when a breeze brushed against his pale, scar littered skin. You snapped out of it and looked him up and down, noticing how a lot of his skin was exposed to the chilly night.
“Here, take this.” You told him as you unbuttoned your cape, taking it off your shoulders. With one swoop, you draped it over his own figure, being as gentle as possible as you buttoned it up again. Bennett was reduced to continuing to stay silent as you clothed him. You placed the hood up on top of his head, a hand on your hip as you grinned at him. It was a bit big on him but nonetheless, it was rather cute. You used your other hand to take his chin gently, making him look you in the eyes. He was rather happy that the hood cast a bit of a shadow, because his cheeks were flushed a hot pink as he was forced to look at you.
“Huh. Looks better on you than it does me.” You commented before he seemed to regain his ability to speak.
“You need this more than me! I-i’m literally a pyro user, I c-can heat myself-” You hushed him, letting go of his chin as you put a finger to his peach pink lips.
“Doesn’t matter. You shouldn’t waste your energy to heat up, especially since we have to walk back to town. I’ll be fine, I’ve been through worse weather situations.” He glanced down at your finger, and then back to you as you dropped your hand and began walking down the path again, back towards the city. Why did you have to be so, so...enchanting? And you were so smooth as well! He had never been so flustered when talking to someone, heck, he was the one who was meant to be doing most of the talking! Though, he supposed that him being talkative didn’t equate to being able to flirt. But something about the thought of you leaving made him pout. It was as if the butterflies were leaving his stomach, but they left him emptier than before.
Bennett refused to be lonely anymore. Not when he had you.
“Hey, darling!~ Would you stop standing there and staring off into space? I know I look wonderful tonight, but we gotta get a move on! We won’t be able to get to town and rest our weary bones if you keep this up!~” You called out to him, making him shake his head and refocus. Right, a bed. Sleep did sound rather good right now, along with a shower and something to quench his thirst. He ran and caught up to you, walking by your side as he grinned. He began to already ask about other missions that the two of you could do together, like gathering supplies for the alchemist or helping around the town for some spare Mora here and there. Bennett then stopped for a moment again, looking at you.
“Would you like to work together again?” There was a moment of silence before you nodded.
“I think I would. We make a great team.” Bennett then continued walking with you, as if time didn’t just stop for a second as he went back to his usual, bubbly nature. The more he thought about it, the happier it made him. More adventures to be made. More memories to be created. All with you at his side the entire time.
And you would make all the difference.
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eddiesfaerie · 4 years
Text
Long Sleeves (part 2)
Summary: Pushed to its absolute limits; a retelling of the past 4 months of you and Charlie’s complicated relationship (13.5k words, i dont know what to say other than im so sorry)
Warnings: NSFW, f!reader, major angst, annoying fluff, mentions of divorce, affairs, age gap (between Charlie and reader, previously implied), nudes, phone sex, PIV sex, daddy kink, some size kink, pain kink(?), rough (and angry and sad) sex, dom and sub themes, spanking, fingering, oral sex (m receiving), i also mention christmas a lot at the beginning which isn't really a warning but i know not everyone celebrates it!
Part 1
A/N: for those of you who are not a fan of d*ddy kink but who may still want to read this; i only use it between the time stamps of Christmas Eve to March, following the March timestamp there will be no mention or use of that word! just thought i’d mention cause the ending is cathartic!
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LATE DECEMBER - APARTMENT
With Henry and Nicole staying in LA until after the holidays, Charlie would be alone with you until he left again.
And he didn’t leave your apartment once in the meantime.
Making up for lost time, is what you could call it.
The hours, days, spent in between sheets, on countertops, on couches, in the shower. Like he was trying to mark your apartment with his scent, make sure you never forgot him when he would leave again for LA in a few days.
You would remember him everywhere.
The way your knees bruised on the tile floor of your shower. The welts on your ass from his harsh hand. The bite marks on your shoulders, the bruises littering your neck, stomach, anywhere he could reach.
You would remember him everywhere.
The thousands of ‘good girls’ he praised you with and the thousand and one ‘fucking sluts’ he punished you with. Charlie was coming to know your insides and outs better than you could at this point, it was a certain level of familiarity you were happy with him reaching. He was becoming more and more comfortable around you.
You could tell not just because of the frequent sex, the hard fucking, but because of how he was opening up to you about the divorce. About what was really going on down in LA, what was happening with Henry, what had been happening (or more so, not happening) with Nicole for nearly the past year. 
He told you about how she ignored him, refused to have sex with him, even touch him. How he had found solace in a one time affair with their stage director, how he just missed feeling needed, feeling wanted by the only person who was supposed to fulfill that innate human desire.
He told you everything he could think of, every little detail. He was tired of hiding, holding it in.
He realized he would have to tell you when he would get a random call from his lawyer or from Nicole herself, when he would talk to Henry. When he yelled through the phone or hung up crying, slamming his device against the wall, nearly breaking it.
He knew he would have to explain it to you, he owed it to you.
You deserved to know, especially now that he was involving you in this to some degree. He didn’t want to, didn’t want to involve you but he needed you more than he needed anyone else right now. More than he was ready to admit perhaps, just how much he truly needed you.
And that’s why going back to LA would be the hardest thing he’s done all week.
He stood at the door, dressed, suitcase packed, heart lurching, thumping low in his chest with dread, resent, fear, and some feeling he couldn’t fucking name.
Lo-
“I wish you could come.” He says instead, the saddest smile you’ve seen adorning his perfect lips. You smile back, just as sadly. You know there was absolutely no reason for you to go to LA with him, to spend Christmas with Nicole and Henry and whatever extended family would be there as well. It would never happen, never work. At least, not right now. Not like this.
The divorce proceedings were on break till after the holidays, both in and against Charlie’s favour. It meant not giving Henry two Christmases, one last normal one. But it also meant pretending, indulging in that… façade that him and Nicole have been keeping up for too fucking long now.
The deed would be done sometime in February, maybe March, Charlie couldn’t remember. He tried not to think about it too much. Think about losing everything-
“I know. But you’ll enjoy yourself. Henry will be happy.” You remind him, letting him hold you so, so tightly. His vice grip, digging into you, trying to anchor himself to you.
“I can’t believe I’m leaving you alone during fucking Christmas.” You laugh.
“I’m going home to see my parents, I won’t be alone, Charlie.” He nods his head, hearing the words you’re saying but he still can’t stop the guilt from creeping up on him. He doesn’t want you to think he’s abandoning you. He won’t abandon you, like everyone’s abandoned him. He just hoped you wouldn’t abandon him either.
Charlie presses his forehead against yours, his hands gripping your waist and pressing your body against his. Your arms wrap around his neck.
“I’ll call you this time, I promise. Every night… I’ll call.”
“Okay.” You giggle, believing him.
His hand sneaks its way up your jaw, gripping your cheeks gently but angling your face for you to meet his dark, dark eyes. You know that look, so familiar now. You feel the pressure start to rise inside you, heat pooling in the very pit of your stomach.
“You’ll be good for me?” You nod immediately, fervently.
“Yes, Charlie.”
“If I ask you to send me pictures, what’ll you do?”
“S-send you pictures.” Breathless, your voice sounds so breathless. Your eyelids threatening to close but you keep them on him, always.
“That’s my good girl.” He growls, tilting your face all the way to his lips, a kiss, a seal of approval. You moan against his lips, letting your eyelids flutter shut, imagining yourself in all those new lingerie sets he’s bought you over the last week.
Your early Christmas presents, he had told you.
“The… the taxis waiting out front.” You say against his lips, not wanting him to leave just yet, but also not wanting him to leave you high and dry before getting on a plane set for across the country for at least another week, probably longer. Charlie ignores you, shoving his tongue down your throat, his grip on your jaw moving down to your neck, squeezing ever so slightly, fingers ghosting over bruised skin, enough to make you fall further into his chest, gripping his perfectly ironed shirt, ruining it.
He pulls away all too soon, no doubt doing this to you on purpose. It was 7am and you were already whimpering into his parted lips.
“I-I’ll miss you.” You admit, heart crashing into your ribs. 
You hadn’t meant to say it but he was making your brain foggy, your thoughts were jumbled together and you just let it slip past your lips. Charlie stares at you, red lips swollen like petals, cheeks matching, hair perfectly in place with your help nothing but fifteen minutes earlier. It feels like a lifetime has passed before he says anything back to you. The taxi honks outside on the curb.
“I’ll… I’ll miss you more.”
CHRISTMAS EVE - UPSTATE NEW YORK
It was relieving to be away from the city, surrounded by more wilderness, more foliage, more trees, more animals. A literal breath of fresh air that wasn’t tainted by sewage and the ever present scent of smoke coming from somewhere or someone.
You loved coming up here. Escaping. You hadn’t been back home since last Christmas. You moved away when you were quite young, the relationship you had with your parents was complicated, clashing personalities, it was difficult to understand each other when you were younger but there was clarity that came with age. They finally respected you, and you finally respected them as well, understanding them better.
You think spending so much time with Charlie and Henry gave you an insight into parenthood that you had never been privy too beforehand. You were thankful for that, not only did you appreciate your parents more, but now parenthood had many more benefits that you had never considered before. Magical, rewarding, fulfilling.
Charlie kind of made you feel that way too.
It was still awkward at times with your parents, that was unavoidable. No siblings around meant all eyes were on you. They were asking for too many details, prying too deep and you just never felt comfortable indulging in yourself this much. But you always came prepared, it was the holidays after all, things always got weird.
After Christmas Eve dinner, your parents invited you out on a walk with them around their little town. They did this every night apparently, just walking together, talking. It was cute, endearing. You declined their offer, however. Thankfully you weren’t sixteen anymore, and your parents didn’t press you any further to come along with them like they used to.
They’d be back in thirty minutes.
That gave you thirty minutes to call Charlie. Just as he instructed.
Earlier this evening, as your parents were beginning to prepare dinner, Charlie’s family was just finishing lunch out in California. A perfect time for a perfect distraction, or intrusion. 
You had packed a few sets of the new lingerie Charlie had bought you, not knowing what he would want to see on you or how often you should switch it up. You nearly brought all of them but didn’t want to take up too much space in your luggage and be suspicious.
You put one on that you thought Charlie was particularly fond of, a skimpy little number that revealed more skin than hid, it’s colour complimenting your skin like it was made for you, made to hug your figure in all the right places. You forgot that Charlie had such a visual mind sometimes, he knew exactly what you would look good in.
Nervous and a bit shaky, you tucked yourself away into your childhood bedroom to take your pictures for Charlie. You felt like a teenager again.
Charlie was not pleased with the timing of your pictures, seeing as he was surrounded by family and innocently looked at his phone only to get a glimpse of your beautiful fucking body, all the blood going from his head straight to his cock. He nearly fainted. His cheeks lit up like Nicole’s Christmas tree and he stumbled from his chair. Thankfully, everyone seemed to be more occupied with paying attention to Henry than to notice him sprint to the bathroom to scold you over text.
That was hours ago. Charlie had told you to call him exactly at 11pm eastern time. That was only 8pm where he was but he said it worked out perfectly so you didn’t argue. You just waited patiently on your bed, number dialed on your phone and ready to call, all the clock head to do was strike eleven.
Finally, the clocks ding around the house, your thumb flies across your screen and you hold the phone up to your ear, worrying the flesh of your lip between your teeth. It rings once, twice, three times before you can hear his breath on the other end. It already sounds heavy.
“H-hi Charlie.”
“What are you wearing.” His voice is strained, maybe he’s already holding himself in his hand.
“Merry Christmas Eve.” You twist your fingers together nervously. Charlie grunts on the other end, a frustrated sound.
“I f-fucking told you, no pleasantries. I-it’ll only make us miss each other more-” You stayed quiet. You knew he was right, but you already missed him so much and hearing his voice was making it worse. You felt your lip tremble, you missed his arms, his warmth, his-
“Are you fucking pouting right now?” His voice was firm, sturdy, and annoyed.
“No, Charlie.” A lie.
“Good, now tell me what you’re wearing.”
“I’m wearing your favourite, the one from earlier. I’m barely covered.”
“Oh I know baby, your tits looked so fhuuuucking good in those pictures you sent me.” The fluctuation in his voice was rising and falling randomly, you could picture his hand wrapped tightly around his angry cock, the head flushed red, precum dribbling out the top, just begging to be licked. He tasted so good…
“A-are you touching yourself?”
“No, you didn’t tell me to.”
“G-good girl, you’re so fucking good to me, you know that?” You pictured his chest, the way he flushes right in the center, between his pecs. The way the red splotches climb up, up, up his neck and onto his cheeks and up to the peaks of his ears. You thought about the heavy rise and fall of his chest as well, how fucking wide he is, how much bigger than you he is. You audibly moaned.
“Tell me what you’re thinking about?”
“Y-you.”
“Be specific- fuck.”
“Um, your- your cock. How big it is, how big you are. How it feels when you stretch me out, when you go so deep I feel you in my stomach-”
“Keep going baby, I’m… I’m so f-UHcking close.”
“I think about the first time, a-a lot. How it felt the first time you split me open- fuck Charlie you’re so big I never think you’re going to fit but I always take it, I-”
“Yeah, yeah you always take me like the good little girl you are, such a good fucking slut for me, taking my cock in that tight fucking pussy.” He sneers, you can tell he’s talking from behind clenched teeth and you moan again, loudly. Your brain short circuits, what comes out next, comes from the deepest part of you.
“Oh Daddy,-”
“What did you just call me?”
Fuck.
You hadn’t really meant to say it, you were just so caught up in the moment, the feeling, the sound of him that you completely lost your inhibitions and let it slip out. You expected him to just end the call now.
“Charlie I’m so sorry-” He cuts you off with a firm call of your name.
“I asked you a question. What… did you call me?” Your stomach flips and your insides threaten to spill past your lips and onto your floor.
“Daddy.” You say so quietly you’re not sure he even heard you.
“I didn’t catch that.”
“Daddy.” Frustration laces your voice as you project the word throughout the entire upper floor of the house. He definitely hears it that time. You think you hear Charlie moan on the other end but you don’t want to be too hopeful.
“You wanna call me Daddy? Hmm? You want me to be your fucking Daddy, is that it?”
“N-no…” You’re not sure what he’s getting at, but you feel like he’s just going to torment you.
“Don’t fucking lie to me you little slut.” His breathing picks up again, his voice booming, heavy breaths between every few words. You can hear the slick of his hand as it moves quickly over his length.
“Yes! Yes I- I want you to…”
“Say it.”
“I want you to be my Daddy.” Charlie moans loudly again, his hand somehow moving faster. You can tell he’s close. You can’t believe he likes this. You love it.
“Yeah, I’ll be your fucking Daddy. You better fucking call me that non stop when I get back to you, my sweet little girl.” You moan this time, squeezing your thighs together, feeling your arousal trail slightly down onto your thigh. You were so distracted you hadn’t realized you’d completely soaked through your underwear.
“I will, Daddy.”
“Fuck, I’m-”
Confidence surged you. You still couldn’t believe he liked this but you finally gave in, feeding his desires. When you spoke, your voice was filled with something wicked, sickeningly sweet and most of all, evil.
“Are you going to cum for me, Daddy? Make a mess for me?”
You felt like you hadn’t even finished your sentence before a loud moan punched through your phone and into your ear. You moaned as well just from his release, feeling it in your mind and in your chest, squeezing your thighs again for any sort of friction. Charlie continued to moan through his release, you pictured his silky cum painting his taut abdomen and his beautiful chest. You imagined it blending in with his moles and freckles, you pictured yourself rubbing your hands through it, massaging it into his skin before licking it all up. 
He wouldn’t even have to ask, you would just do it.
“Y-you’re fucking perfect… you fucking angel.” He’s so breathless, completely spent and wasted from your voice alone. You felt so hot. You needed to relieve yourself but you didn’t know if you should ask for permission or not. Before you could even debate it, Charlie spoke again.
“Go to bed, wouldn’t want Santa catching you up like this.” You laughed softly at his comment. Static on the other end. He said your name as if to check if you were still there.
“Yeah?”
“Merry Christmas.”
The line went dead.
JANUARY - BROOKLYN
You had sent Charlie pictures nearly every night after that. And you two called each other every other night as well.
He asked it of you and you couldn’t say no to your Charlie. It was a bit tricky while you were still staying with your parents, he would simply text you and you would have to scurry off to your room or the bathroom and snap as many flattering pictures of yourself as you could. You tried to make it seem less suspicious by drinking tons of water and just blaming it on your bladder.
But the new year had finally come, and you were now back home in your apartment. Charlie would be returning tonight and you were counting down the hours until you saw his taxi pull up on the curb side. You distracted yourself until then.
At around 7pm, you got an unexpected call from Charlie.
“Hi.” You felt like your smile was audible through the phone.
“Hey,” Charlie chuckled darkly, his voice always sounding deeper and richer through the receiver. “I just got in. I was wondering if you’d like to join us for dinner tonight?”
Us? He didn’t mean….
“It’s just me and Henry, Nicole’s uh, staying in LA until further notice. If you’re busy or if you can’t that’s-”
“I would love to,” The fact that Charlie would ask you to spend dinner with him and Henry warmed your heart beyond comprehension. Your weeks of loneliness suddenly dissolving into the background and becoming nothing more than a distant memory, a distant feeling. “but is Henry okay with it?”
“Of course he’s okay with it. He’s actually been talking about you quite a bit. I think he might have missed you more than I did,” Charlie choked a bit on his last words, “not that I didn’t miss you, I just meant that he, you know, Henry was-”
“It’s okay, Charlie I understood what you meant.” You giggle, finding his slight awkwardness endearing. How was it that you both were having incredible phone sex for the past two weeks and now you both sounded like teenagers calling their crush?
“So, you’ll come?”
“Yeah, I’ll come.” Charlie groans at your suggestive tone.
“Don’t start now.” His voice stern, unwavering. You laugh again, more mischievous this time. You test the waters, not stepping in enough to drown... just yet.
“I’ll be over in ten minutes, is that okay, Daddy?” You hear rustling on the other end of the phone and then Charlie cursing a low ‘fuck!’. You think you hear Henry’s voice too, followed by more of Charlie’s now muffled voice.
“Ten minutes is fine.”
//
Henry had bombarded you at the door, he wrapped his tiny arms around your legs and hugged himself tightly to you. It took everything in you not to cry, you knelt down so you could hug him back.
“I missed you.” He dug his cheek into your shoulder. This kid was the sweetest, he would melt your heart every time.
“I missed you too, Henry. How was LA? How was Christmas? Tell me everything!”
Henry grabbed your hand and dragged you into the living room where all his new toys were laid out, ready for him to play with. As he was pulling you there, Charlie emerged from around the doorway like an angel himself. Your eyes met and you felt as if you were moving in slow motion, and not being dragged at top speed by his child.
“Hi.” You greet, almost shyly. Unsure of how to act around him with Henry present.
“Hi.” Charlie repeats, grabbing your free hand for the briefest moment, giving it a tight squeeze until it's pulled out of his grasp by Henry.
You’re not sure how long you spent playing on the floor with Henry, him retelling you the events of the last two or three weeks while Charlie sat on the couch, glancing at the two of you every now and then. You tried not to think about the position you were in, kneeling on the floor, carpet digging into your knees, Charlie sitting tall above you on the couch, looking down at you from between his parted knees. It looked like such a natural position for him, almost like he was too comfortable like this, too familiar with it. You wanted to-
The doorbell rang, making both you and Henry jump from the sharp noise.
“Henry would you like to go pay the pizza guy?” Charlie asked, already pulling his wallet from the pocket in his pants.
“Yes!” Henry shouted, jumping up from the carpet, whisking the crisp bills from his dad’s hands and running to the door to answer it. Charlie figured he had a minute or less before Henry came back.
He lifted himself from the couch, taking your jaw into his hand and bringing you to stand with him. He crashed his lips into yours, violently shoving his tongue down your throat and you had to bite back the moan that threatened to spill through your lips and into his awaiting mouth. His hands had a deadly grip on your waist and on your jaw, you only wished he would ease up because you didn’t want Henry to wonder why you both looked so flustered.
“I can’t wait until tonight.” He said against your lips, his hand on your jaw moving to trail down your throat.
“W-what’s tonight?”
“I got it!” Henry came rushing back into the living room but not before Charlie pushed himself away from you and let go of your throat and waist. It looked like nothing had happened.
“Let’s go set it up in the dining room.” Henry stomped his foot in retaliation, whining slightly.
“Nooo, Dad, can we please watch a movie with pizza?”
“Henry, we have a guest-”
“Please!”
“What movie do you want to watch?” You asked, budding in, trying to stop a tantrum in its tracks. Henry’s eyes lit up and he glanced between you and his dad.
“Have you ever seen ‘Frozen’?” You actually had, but he didn’t need to know that. You gasped.
“I haven’t!” You glanced over at Charlie. His eyes were dark but an innocent smirk pulled at his lips.
He was thinking about how this just meant it would take longer before he could finally fuck you again, a two hour movie cockblock. It had been over two weeks since he had felt your body against his, nothing to satiate him but the sound of your voice and some mediocre photos. Charlie thinks he should show you how to take some really good ones sometime soon. Not that yours didn’t most definitely do the trick, he just thinks he likes the idea of directing you, positioning you...
But Charlie was also thinking about how he found it very sweet, very heartwarming to watch you bond with Henry. He loved watching you have such a good time with him and treat him like a person, not just a child. And he could tell that Henry really liked spending time with you too. Not just from how much he talked about you when you weren’t around, but the smile that lit up his face when you came over or when he went over to your place.
It was getting harder and harder to get Henry to smile like that.
You all sat down on the couch, little wooden fold up tables in front of your seat to hold your plate of pizza slices. Henry sitting between you and Charlie, of course.
Henry sang along passionately to almost every song, sometimes with bites of pizza in his mouth and Charlie would scold him for it, afraid he would choke but Henry ignored his dad’s requests, just continuing to belt out along with the characters on screen.
As the movie progressed and neared the end, you could feel Charlie getting more and more sleepy on his side of the couch. He would rearrange his sitting position every now and then and his eyes would close for minutes at a time. He looked so soft with his arms folded across his chest, his eyelashes fluttering against the tops of his cheeks, his lips coming to rest in the softest little pout. You nudge Henry gently and he turns to look up at you.
“Looks like your dad’s asleep.” You giggle, pointing to Charlie. Henry immediately jumps on him, startling Charlie awake.
“Dad I can’t believe you fell asleep again!” Henry pouts, grabbing Charlie’s face between his hands and shaking him from side to side. Charlie grabs his son’s little hands to stop his efforts, sitting himself up straighter on the couch and hugging Henry to his chest.
“Mmm’wasn’t sleeping.” Henry rolled his eyes.
“Why don’t you go get your daddy a blanket so he can get comfy for the rest of the movie.” You wink at Henry, sending him searching upstairs for the perfect blanket for his dad.
Charlie groans and drops his head on the back of the couch, his hand draping across is as well, coming to rest on the very tip of your shoulder. He wraps his fingers along your muscles, squeezing the flesh into his palm, tightly.
“I heard that.”
“Heard what?” Daddy.
His head lifts from the couch to glare at you, his stare deadly, shooting right to the deepest parts of you. Why were you teasing him like this?
“Dad is the dinosaur one okay?” Henry calls from up the stairs, slowly making his way down and back to the couch.
“It’s perfect, Henry. Thank you.” Charlie takes the blanket from Henry and kisses the top of his forehead before he settles back on the couch, cuddling up next to his dad.
You unpause the movie, admiring the two of them every now and then, watching Henry becoming more and more sleepy as the film nears its end. As the credits roll, Charlie removes the blanket from around himself and moves it to wrap around Henry.
“I’m going to go tuck him in.” Charlie whispers to you. You nod sweetly at the two of them. Charlie carries Henry in his arms towards the stairs before Henry grumbles, calling out your name to you back on the couch.
“Will you come too?”
You look to Charlie for guidance, you don’t want to overstep any boundaries. You’ve never been in the upstairs part of their apartment, you’ve never seen the rest of their place, Henry’s room, Charlie’s room, their bathroom. You’d never seen any of it and it all felt incredibly intimate and incredibly wrong in some way. You didn’t want to accidentally see something you shouldn’t. But Charlie just smiles back at you and nods his head gently.
“Of course, Henry.” You follow them up the stairs, smiling at Henry who smiles that shiny little kid smile at you before laying his head back down on Charlie’s shoulder, resting his eyes again.
Henry’s bedroom is exactly like you imagined it would be. Colourful blue walls, vibrant comic book patterned bed sheets, toys absolutely everywhere yet Charlie avoids them like their place on the floor has meaning, like he’s ingrained it into his mind from stepping on them too many times, muscle memory. You stay in the doorway, leaning on the door frame watching them, not wanting to intrude.
Charlie carefully lowers Henry onto his bed, tucking him in the covers and kissing his forehead. He says sweet words to his son, lulling him further to sleep and Henry smiles dopily back at him, whispering a quiet ‘love you, dad.’
Charlie turns around to face you, he flicks his head in the direction of the stairway mouthing the word ‘go’ to you, you nod and head down the stairs, waiting for him in the living room. You decide to settle yourself at the foot of the couch, sitting on your knees, feeling the burn of the carpet again and waiting for your Charlie.
He descends the stairs slowly, achingly slowly. Making you wait for it, making you feel the weight in his steps, his foot pressing into the wood, applying his weight until he shifts down another step before finally, finally, making his way to you.
You look up at him from your place on the floor, you try not to let your mouth hang open as you gaze up at him, this beautiful man. Sometimes, when you look at him, you wonder if whatever god or gods were out there made him like this on purpose. Sent him here looking the way he does to taunt you, to test you. Test your strength, your will to defy him when you know there is no humanly way possible to deny this man of what he wants. And what he wants is you. Why would you say no? How could you?
After observing you on the floor below him, Charlie seats himself down on the couch like before, knees spread, looking down at you. You scoot closer to him, hoping he doesn’t tell you to stop. His hand comes to rest on his knee before he pats it.
“Lay your head down on me.” His voice rumbles in his chest. You think you feel it through the floorboards, through your knees, up your spine and in the pit of your stomach. You listen and scoot closer, resting your head on his bony knee, nuzzling it with your cheek and looking up at him through thick lashes. You continue looking at him as you press a tender kiss as well, just for fun.
The lights are dim in the living room, the time ticking closer to midnight, Henry asleep upstairs. You both had to be quiet, you both knew this. Charlie’s hand comes to brush against your cheekbone, he trails his index finger all along the valleys of your face and then moving into your hair, gripping the back of it into a fist before relaxing again, bringing his hand back to hold your cheek.
“I’ve missed this.” He says so quietly. You nod, biting your lip.
“Me too.” You say, eagerness beginning to fill your voice. You adjust your position, coming to lean further into him, closer to his crotch where you can tell he needs you. Charlie hums contentedly.
“Mhmmm. Tell me what exactly you missed. Who you missed.” You let your hand glide over his knee, over his muscular thigh and towards his crotch, feather light touches along the fabric of his pants. You could feel how hard he was, it seemed painful.
“You. I missed your cock too... Daddy.”
There it was. He found what he was looking for. His hand found its way into a fist again in your hair, tugging it tightly, his head falling back against the couch as you pressed your lips over his covered cock, straining in his pants.
“You can do better than that,” he groaned, voice almost as strained as his cock yet still so forceful, “show Daddy how much you really missed him.”
You whimper at his tone, your voices both so hushed, rasped and desperate, spurring each other on much quicker than usual. Your hands, shaky with desire, reached up for his belt, grasping the cold metal into your hands and unbuckling it as quickly as you could. Only when you got to his zipper, did Charlie stop you with a light tap to your cheek.
“Teeth.” He scolded. You nodded.
You brought the zipper in between your teeth, biting down on the tiny piece of metal and slowly dragging it down over the hill his cock was creating in his pants. The heat radiating from his body was palpable, you could feel it coming onto your face the lower you dragged the zipper and the more he was revealed to you. You could also smell him, that smell that was undeniably Charlie; musky, earthy, a hit of fabric detergent and just the natural smell of his skin, like almonds in the summer. It made you dizzy, drunk off of him already.
You hadn’t even gotten him in your mouth yet.
You nuzzled your face into his clothed crotch, feeling his hard member pressing into your cheek, you could feel it pulsing, you could feel him wanting, waiting for the moment your mouth would take his length as far back as you could. You whimpered at the thought.
“You like it? You like my cock?”
“Yeah, I love it.”
“Then show me with that pretty fucking mouth of yours.” He sneered, pulling harder on your hair. You hummed and smiled, you felt giddy, maybe you really were drunk. You nuzzled your face into his crotch one more time before bringing both of your hands up to his waist, letting your fingertips dance around his beautiful skin that lay revealed to you above the waistband, you lean up, up, up pressing the softest, delicatest kisses to his skin.
Charlie groaned, pressing on the back of your head, pushing your face further into his tummy. You left more and more kisses before you gave him a tentative bite, not letting your teeth sink in too much before you lave your tongue over the abused flesh.
“Fuck that feels- fucking good.” Charlie moaned, looking down at the new mark that would only darken itself by tomorrow as more blood rushes to the affected area. It was placed beautifully next to his hip bone. You think it looked pretty. So did he.
You finally let your fingertips dip into his waistband but not before latching your teeth onto the stretchy fabric as well, aiding your fingers in removing them. You dragged it down, down, down his skin, just until his cock sprang free and laid heavy on his lower stomach. Charlie hissed, his hips bucking slightly from the sudden freedom.
He has the prettiest cock you think you’d ever seen. You never get used to seeing it, taking it in your mouth or your cunt. The stretch is always so painfully good, you’ve come to crave it. And going without it for the past however many weeks has made you near delirious for it. You stick your tongue out and run it all along the underside right to the very tip, where a shiny, pearly bead of precum has just begun to spill over. You hum as you lick it up, eyes nearly rolling back into your head.
“Don’t be a fucking tease.” Charlie grits from behind clenched teeth. You look up at him innocently, you notice that he’s clenching and unclenching his jaw like clockwork, his eyes look glassy and his cheeks are a few shades darker. He already looks so disheveled, so perfect like this.
“I can’t help it… it’s so pretty.”
“You think Daddy has a pretty cock?” You nod your head, humming, which you can’t seem to stop doing tonight, he just has you feeling so content, so safe. You don't think you could be like this with anyone else. You trace your fingers along his length, watching it bob from the slightest of touches, even Charlie tries to bite back his groans.
“Can-can I kiss it?”
“Please.” You lower your head towards his length, pressing your lips so softly onto his red angry head, giving little kitten licks in between kisses which has Charlie gripping your hair like a vice, afraid you’ll float away. You like the way his stomach flexes in response to your touch, like his body is bracing himself for the tidal wave of pleasure that’s bound to hit at any moment.
You finally take the spongy pink head into your mouth, swirling your tongue around it before letting a few inches fall past your lips as well. Charlie’s tummy flexes even more, the v shaped muscle becoming more and more prominent and you moan onto his cock. His free hand that had been clenched into a fist comes to hold one side of your head and the other comes to meet it. He holds your head in his hands and forces you to take more of him, but not all of it just yet. You start bobbing your head up and down on his length, his hands helping you find his ideal speed.
“Fuck yes, oh my god, j-just like that-” Charlie moans your name, his fingernails digging into your scalp making you moan on his cock again, only making him dig deeper, pressing your head further down his length, forcing you to take him until he hits the back of your throat.
“Gonna let Daddy f-fuck that pretty little whore mouth of yours?” You let your jaw go slack more than it already has and do your best to nod with his cock half way down your throat, tears already beginning to brim in the corner of your eyes. Charlie starts lifting his hips off the couch slightly, all the while moving your head further up and down his cock, forcing it down your throat as far as it’ll go without you making obscenely loud gagging noises.
His son was asleep right upstairs, after all.
You let your eyes roll back into your head, letting Charlie take control and just fuck his cock into your mouth like you know he needs to, like he knows you need it too. It’s been too fucking long. Too fucking long since he’s had you like this. At his disposal, his little plaything to do whatever he pleases with. And you fucking love it.
The cool, sharp metal of his unzipped zipper digs into your jaw and occasionally your neck, biting into your skin and scratching your skin when Charlie lifts his hips up particularly high but you don’t care. In fact, you welcome the pain, embracing it as a mark of Charlie’s rough loving. You hope it draws blood.
“Fuck, your mouth i-is so fucking perfect, so warm... I don’t-” He doesn’t finish his sentence, his eyes screw shut and you can feel his cock growing impossibly harder. He looks down at you, his face twisted in absolute pleasure as he loses himself in your tight little mouth. He pulls you off his cock with all of his strength. A trail of saliva connecting your spit swollen lips to the head of his cock. You start pumping him quickly with your fist.
“No-no wait I don’t…”
“I want it Charlie, please,” Charlie throws his head back, moaning your name, “cum in my mouth... please.”
You nearly whine that last part. Charlie grabs your hair and tugs it, shaking your head a bit.
“I want to fuck you, I don’t wanna cum yet- FUCK!” You hadn’t stopped your hand movements, your fist moving faster over his cock while he fights his release.
“You can fuck me tomorrow.” You say quickly before attaching your lips around the head of his cock, sucking on it until you feel his thighs, abdomen, hands, mind and soul tense up before he bites back his guttural moans, letting them rumble through his chest like thunder passing, before spilling himself onto your tongue. You moan as it lands, letting it slide down your throat as you taste him, taste all of him until he’s completely drained.
You look up at him through heavy lashes, coated thick in tears that have streamed down your cheeks. Chest heaving, abdomen pulled taught, cheeks incredibly flushed, lips swollen, eyes heavy and tired. Completely spent. He looked so beautiful, your Charlie. So beautiful like this.
“S-show me.” His hand reaches for your jaw, pinching your cheeks to force your jaw and mouth open. You stick your tongue to show him. All gone, you swallowed all of his cum, for him.
“Good girl.” He whispered, patting your cheek affectionately. You smiled sweetly at him, coming up with your hands resting your weight on his thighs, pressing your swollen lips to his. As you extend your knees to stand, you feel the ache in the joints, the bruises already present, no doubt. You loved the pain. Your lips glide effortlessly across each other, so tired, so worn out but always wanting.
“Stay, please.” He says against your lips. You shake your head, no. It was a simple answer. A simple predicament.
“Henry.” 
You pull back to look into Charlie’s eyes, he pulls you into his lap and he winces as you apply just a bit too much weight onto the base of his cock. You look into his eyes, already so sad at the idea of you leaving. But Henry would ask too many questions in the morning.
Why is the nice lady from next door still here, Dad?
Did she stay the night, Dad?
Did she sleep in your bed, Dad?
You and Mom’s bed, Dad?
“I know, I know.” Charlie says, defeated. He presses you into his chest, hugging you to him tightly, tighter than you were expecting. It was a hopeful thought. He understood why it couldn’t happen, couldn’t work. Maybe he just wanted you to entertain the idea for a minute with him. Maybe it would happen one day.
“I really did miss you.” He whispers into your hair, cradling the back of your head with his large, warm hand, pressing you further into the nook of his neck.
“I did too. I really missed you too, Charlie.”
MARCH - BROOKLYN
Charlie was currently back from his third visit to Los Angeles, hunting burroughs for the perfect new home for himself and for Henry. Maybe for you as well, but Charlie didn’t like to dwell on that for too long, he couldn’t allow himself such hopeful thoughts, he would only be let down. 
Would you really want to move in with him? Was that moving too quickly? Would you think he was insane? Crazy? Obsessed? The truth was, he is all of those things; insane, crazy, obsessed with you. He couldn’t help it, no. Not when it came to you.
He would always be desperate for your affection, your attention.
Things were escalating with the divroce. Nicole and Charlie had turned bitter, viscous, backstabbing, conniving. Both fighting for a child who has no intention of hurting anyone, certainly not his mother or father.
Henry had no idea what weight his actions or words held, no idea what it meant when someone came over to observe him and his dad, or him and his mom. When they sent someone out to New York to watch him there, sometimes you would be over too. They asked you so many questions, he didn’t understand why. Why were strangers suddenly so involved in every little thing his parents did? Were they in trouble? Were they bad people? Was he a bad kid? Did they hate him?
Henry pouts as you hold his hand, walking up the driveway to the new apartment Charlie was almost one hundred percent decided on renting. It was in more of a family oriented neighbourhood, still close to his school. Somehow, it had a decent sized backyard (which you had never heard of in New York, even Brooklyn), three bedrooms, an office, a beautiful kitchen, it was basically perfect in Charlie’s eyes.
The first time he visited it back in February, he sent you dozens of pictures and little videos when he had gone alone. He quickly booked another appointment for you to go and look at him with it so he could get your opinion. He made it very clear how important your opinion was to him on this matter, he was always asking you questions about the apartment, even bringing it up randomly. He would scroll through the pictures he had taken, scrutinizing every detail and ask you about it.
Do you think the backyard is big enough?
What if I end up getting Henry a dog? Would there be enough space for that?
Do you really like the kitchen? Be honest.
What about the office room? Do I really need that? Is that too much?
What about the guest bedroom?
You wonder if he was so invested in your opinion because he trusted you, or because he wanted you to move in with them. Neither of you had ever spoken about it before, never had that conversation. And even if you did, Henry would always have the final say. If he didn’t want you living with them, well, that was that. You couldn’t argue with Henry, not when his childhood and upbringing was in question. Especially after this divorce. Charlie would do anything for him. Even if it meant risking you.
//
Charlie ended up getting the house he had been eyeing for nearly a month.
Him and Henry would restart here, no painful memories embedded in the walls, in the flooring, in the holes in the walls, the slammed door frames, the windows that threatened to shatter from all the screaming and crying. None of that was here, it would never be here. None of that would happen again.
Charlie hadn’t asked you to move in.
And you hadn’t necessarily been waiting on him asking either.
You were already coming over pretty frequently. And not just on account of Charlie, Henry still loved seeing you and hanging out with you. You still babysat him when things at the theatre ran late. 
When Nicole moved to LA, Charlie was thrown full force into his work. Forced to recast, rework, and rewrite so many things that she had just left hanging. You watched Henry those nights, stayed until Charlie got home and then took the subway back to your place, next to their now vacant apartment.
You were so lonely those nights you couldn’t sleepover at Charlie’s. You missed his warmth. You hadn’t realized just how much comfort you got knowing he was just next door, just beyond a thick wall. You could have touched it and felt his presence radiating through. But now, nothing. It was cold, dark, empty, meaningless.
And because Charlie had been so overworked for the past few months, the stress was starting to get to him. The constant obstacles and backtracking in the theatre production. The random calls from Nicole, his lawyer, the random flights down to LA, the weeks Henry spent away from him, the nights he lost himself in you, using you as an outlet. You let him, you liked it when he took it out on you, you liked how rough he would get, all that pent up anger being pounded out into your hot cunt. You loved it. Loved when he got mad, frustrated. You were always there for him. You would always be there for him, you hoped he knew that.
But what you didn’t love, was when he started neglecting you.
He would go days sometimes without calling you, so much as even texting you. You would get no word from him for a couple of days and sometimes you would just randomly piece together that he was in LA and he just forgot to tell you. You tried to not let it upset you, you couldn’t imagine what he was going through, the stress of the divorce, the potential of losing Henry, his whole life hanging by a thread. It really wasn’t his fault that he just forgot to mention it to you.
Sometimes he would lash out at you, a small comment or action rubbing him the wrong way and he would erupt, say something he didn’t mean or just walk out on you. Times when things go heated, you tried your best to keep you composure for his sake. He didn’t need you being upset at him too on top of everything else, so you kept it in, for Charlie.
Sometimes he would lash out before you two went out with his theatre friends. He would smile and hug everyone, but kept somewhat of a distance from you. Barely speaking to you, barely including you in the conversation unless someone else asked you a question or directly addressed you. What did you look like to them? Friends? Friends with benefits? Did you look like his whore? The babysitter that he was secretly fucking?
You kind of were.
You drank a lot that night. He fucked you when you got back to his new place. He fell asleep quickly after. You pulled on your long sleeve shirt and nice dress pants that you had been wearing that night after laying next to his warm, sleeping body for thirty minutes, debating, thinking, worrying, dying inside.
You stood up and walked to the door, you looked back to find him watching you. You nervously tugged at your sleeves, staring back at him until he turned around, pushing his face into the pillow, as if silently willing you to leave. You left. You called a taxi and left. You didn’t sleep that night.
//
You think it was because he told you he was going to Los Angeles again.
Maybe he mentioned Nicole? His lawyer? Something about Henry? The theatre? 
You couldn’t remember what started all of this yelling, smashing. You were over at the new place, helping Charlie organize some things for Henry before he came back with him the next time he went out to LA again, which was in a few days.
Charlie was pissed and this time, you weren’t sure how much longer you could hold your calm resolve for him.
“Charlie if you just need some space from me tell me, it won’t hurt my feelings, I understand.” You decide to try and change the subject, maybe just cutting to the chase. Offering him what you think he wants, alone time. Time away from you, from everything. There’s no way he doesn’t need a break.
You hated how quickly you would give everything up for him. You would do anything for him, anything he asked.
“What the fuck are you talking about?” He asked, eyes squinting in confusion. You sigh, running a hand down your face, your patience was running thin and you didn’t want to accidentally set him off.
“Everytime you see me you manage to get frustrated or mad about something. I just don’t want to give you more problems than you already have. I know you’ve been really stressed.”
“Elaborate, please.” His voice was clipped as he put his hands on his hips, stopping what he was doing and turning to you, seemingly giving you more attention than he had in weeks. You huff, not sure how to explain this to him.
“Charlie I-”
“No, what the fuck are you trying to say? That if I fucking ended things you would just leave? No questions asked?” His voice boomed, echoing off the newly painted walls, shaking the frames of yours and Henry’s dinosaur paintings from all those months ago. 
He takes a step closer to you, you take one back, then another just for good measure. Your back hits the wall and you take a deep breath, gathering your thoughts as best as you can with him staring at you with those eyes. Those fucking eyes. They still managed to twinkle even when he was angry.
“I- I would… for Henry. You put Henry first, I put Henry first. If he wanted me gone-”
“He doesn’t fucking want you gone, you know that.” Charlie scoffed, walking closer to you, his face red in frustration, maybe anger. He says your name, it's never sounded so sad.
“Why are you lying to me?” He’s a step away from you now, chest heaving with laboured breaths. He’s trying to compose himself, you can tell. Trying to stay calm but his patience was wearing thin.
“I’m not, I w-wouldn’t lie to you, Charlie.”
“You would leave me?” You nod your head, lip trembling, tears burning, stinging in your eyes, your breathing becoming heavy too. Was this it?
“If that’s what you wanted, if you want me to leave I would.”
“Why? Why would you do something so fucking stupid?” His lip is also trembling, you feel like he’s about to spit in your face, yell at you for being such an idiotic little girl. The thought alone had you squeezing your thighs together, this was so fucked. You shouldn’t like this, shouldn’t like when he got frustrated, you resented the fact that you did.
You couldn’t think straight, the words leaving your mouth didn’t feel your own, like you were speaking some other language, possessed by a foreign being.
“Be-because…” Bile rising in your throat, you felt like you couldn’t breathe.
“Fucking why? Tell me why!” He was yelling, his face in yours and his voice breaking.
“Because I… because I love-”
And then Charlie was kissing you.
Charlie was kissing you.
His tongue swiped into your mouth like he was trying to strangle you with it. His hands came to your cheeks and pressed your body flush against his and the wall, sandwiched between the two. He was hard, you could feel his cock pressing into your stomach as he rolled his hips into you, you moaned into his mouth, tears spilling down your cheeks. He didn’t wipe them away.
“Don’t say it… don’t- fucking say it.” He said against your lips, voice so hush, so quiet and scared.
“Why? Why are you afraid of me?”
“I’m not fucking afraid of you.” He says, confused, angry, lips rough on your own. He keeps trying to kiss you, you don’t want to push him away but you try, you push on his tough chest, his heart beating wildly in its cage.
“Yes you are. You keep pushing me away.” You cry, hiccupping on a ragged sob that leaves your chest, as you ironically try to push him away from you. Charlie tries to kiss you through it, trying to suffocate you.
“I’m not.” He fights.
“You are.”
“I’m not-” You push, harder this time. He stumbles back, lips already swollen, his eyes are wet, glossy too. Like yours.
“You are!” You yell, voice breaking, choking on your tears. “Don’t act like you haven’t been treating me differently for the past month.”
When Charlie says nothing, you continue.
“You don’t call me, you don’t text me, I only come over to babysit Henry when he’s here and when he’s in LA you just fuck me and then get mad about something and leave. When we go out you don’t look at me, you don’t touch me-” Your voice falters, you’re not sure you can go on with the way the sobs wrack through your chest and into the rest of your body. You feel weak, like you might collapse into the ground. You wish you would, you wish the floor would just swallow you up and you could disappear.
Charlie sees red. His fists shake, clenched into fists at his side after you’ve pushed him away. His palms burn to touch you. He knows he shouldn’t, he knows he should listen to what you’re saying, let you talk, remind him how much he’s been hurting you. He knows what he’s doing, he’s not stupid.
He wasn’t trying to push you away, he definitely wasn’t doing it on purpose. But he was sabotaging himself, sabotaging everything because he felt he didn’t deserve you. He was a bad father, a selfish person for wanting to take Henry away from his mother, for wanting Henry to himself, a bad person for hating Nicole, a woman he once loved.
Love.
It was all because of love wasn’t it? Charlie wants to laugh at the thought. Wants to laugh and scream and yell and hit something at the thought of stupid fucking love. Was he really becoming that nihilistic already?
Would he come to hate you like how he hates Nicole? Would you come to hate him the way he hates himself? The way Henry probably hates him? The way his parents hated him-
His knees hit a hard surface, blistering, blinding pain shooting up his legs. He’s collapsed onto the floor before he’s even aware of it. Unaware of the sobs that push and pull at his lungs, forcing his chest to heave in the oxygen before choking it back out along with spit and tears. 
He’s crying. You’re crying. Fuck, how did it come to this. This was all too familiar. He feels numb.
How could he love you when love was the scariest thing? When love was the most frightening emotion he had ever experienced. Everything that’s happened to him for the past two fucking years was because of love. Love would ruin everything. It always did. But he couldn’t…. he couldn’t lose-
“Y-you… you can’t- leave me.” He chokes, hands planted shakily on the floor, holding his upper body up, his arms weak.
You… you’ve never seen Charlie like this. And honestly? It scares you. Sure, you’ve heard him yell, scream, cry at Nicole, his lawyer over the phone. But this was different. This was visceral, burning desire, regret, shame, embarrassment… this was everything coming crashing down around him at once.
Fuck.
This is what you’ve been trying to avoid over the past month. That’s why you’ve tiptoed around him, letting him get angry, letting him yell, letting him ignore you, use you, fuck you and ask for nothing in return. You were avoiding this.
But maybe you had just prolonged the explosion? Let enough gas build up before it eventually burst into flames.
Eventually…
You had definitely made this worse, by ignoring it you’ve let it fester, let it rise and rise and rise, just pushing down the lid for your own sake. Maybe it was both of your own faults? You don’t know, you don’t care. This was bound to happen at some point. And it just so happened to be today. All you really care about is Charlie.
You kneel down on the floor in front of him, resting your palm on the floor like he has, letting your pinky finger graze against his. The slightest of touch as to not scare him off. He flinches, his head still hung low, eyes screwed shut.
You place your hand on top of his, feeling his burning skin, testing the waters. He doesn’t pull back so you continue your efforts. You intertwine your fingers with his, slowly, slowly lifting his hand up off the ground and closer to you. He still doesn’t look up. You keep moving his hand until it’s on your chest, covering your left breast. Only then does he look up, searching your eyes.
He feels it then. That same thing he felt the first time… the first time he had you. Your beating heart, pumping wildly in your chest just like his was. Did you know? Did you know what you did to him? Did you know how much he needed you, how much he thinks of you? Did you know that he… that he-
“I won’t.” You say, cutting him off mid thought. His hand clutches onto you through the fabric of your shirt, trying to reach through you and grab your heart into his hands. He wants to pull it from you, keep it for himself and lock it away, make sure you never fucking leave him. He was so selfish.
“I won’t leave you Charlie.” You say again when he says nothing, just watching his hand twist into the fabric of your shirt, tugging it strangely until he’s rid you of it. He places his hand back on your chest, feeling your heart better now through the barrier of only your flesh.
“I…. I’m sorry.” “You said you wouldn’t lie to me?” It feels like the first thing he’s said in hours, his voice rough around the edges, gooey in the middle. His post-yelling voice, you knew it too well.
“I wouldn’t.”
“Then why… why would you even say that? That you would leave me?”
“Because if that’s what you wanted, what you needed… I would do it. I would do anything you wanted, anything for you, Charlie.”
“Why?” He couldn’t understand. There was no fathamobale reason as to why he would deserve such devotion. Especially from you. 
You’re quiet, unsure of how to answer him. This was the same back and forth you both had before he exploded, when you almost told him you… that you lo-
“I-I don’t know how to answer… you told me not to say it.” You whimper, tears spilling from your eyes again. His hand comes to hold your cheek, thumb swiping away the tear. You nuzzle into his hand, kissing his palm. You stay there for a moment, resting your face in his palm, feeling his warmth radiating from his hands, letting a silence wash over the two of you. It was sort of peaceful. A chaotic peace.
“Charlie, I-”
“Don’t... don’t say it.” You cry some more, tears spilling. His hand moves to your throat, squeezing gently, you find it oddly comforting.
“But I want to, I want to say it, please.” You grab the wrist of the hand holding your throat, squeezing his flesh, asking.
“No.”
“Charlie-”
“I said no.” He grabs your jaw, shaking you from side to side a little. You whimper, eyes screwing shut, pushing more tears past the precipice. He pulls you into his lap, you’re putty in his hands, letting him move you however he needs to move you. He holds you in his arms, your legs wrap around his waist and his legs bring him to stand up somehow, his strength always shocking you.
“You can’t say it... you can’t leave.” He continues, you sniffle, hiding your face in his neck, grabbing onto his hair as he carries you somewhere through the apartment, up some stairs…
“I’m sorry, Charlie, I’m- sorry.” You hiccup and cry into his neck, wetting the skin. You press your lips over the newly wet skin, feeling his heartbeat flutter underneath, teeth grazing the thin flesh.
Suddenly he’s lowering you down, down, down until you come in contact with a soft surface, his mattress. Charlie crawls on top of you, you let him rest between your thighs, keeping your legs up high on his waist.
“Don’t ever fucking leave me.” You shake your head from side to side in agreement with him, worrying your bottom lip between your teeth. His hand trails down the length of your body roughly, burning your flesh in its unforgiving path. You’re left only in your jeans since he removed your shirt when you were still downstairs.
“I won’t, I-I didn’t mean-” You can barely form a proper sentence, choking on your own tears and sadness that wrack through your mind and body. Charlie’s hand in already palming your sex through the thick denim you wear, you whimper, trying to squeeze your thighs together but his body blocks them.
“Stop talking.” He barely gets out the words before he’s pressing his lips to yours again, letting his lips glide against your wobbly and swollen ones. You breathe each other in, letting your tongues dance across one anothers as you gasp and cry into his mouth. It’s all teeth and all tongue, it’s messy, clumsy, desperate, burning. You don’t care, he doesn’t either when your teeth clack against each other, nibbling on lips, biting sometimes.
Charlie flips you over underneath him so that you face the sheets, sliding down your body and roughly tugging down your jeans along with your underwear in one swift motion. You gasp as your wet cunt comes in contact with the cool air of the darkening day. Charlie stands on his knees behind you, pulling your ass up higher, higher, higher until he’s satisfied. His cheeks are warm, his ears pink at the peaks. Before either of you even have time to think, his hand comes down harshly onto your right ass cheek, you cry out, gripping the sheets by your head.
“Ch-Charlie!” You gasp, earning you another smack to your other cheek. You push your head down into the covers, trying to muffle your cries and moans as he keeps going.
His smacks you again, and again, and again and again until you’re a sobbing mess in the sheets. Words, languages lost to you in your muddled brain. A pool of spit near your mouth soaked into the white fabric, only a wet spot remaining to show for evidence of your euphoria. You can feel the imprint of his hand on your ass, you know it's burning red, you know the skin is raised and puffy. You fucking love it.
Charlie’s chest is heaving, breaths labored as he takes it all out on you like he knows you need it, knows you love it. He does too; love it and need it. The way your ass gets so much brighter, how big the imprint he’s left on you is. How fucking perfect you are for him... He’s pulling off his shirt before he knows it, shedding his pants too until he’s in nothing but his underwear. You’ve stayed exactly where you are, not daring to move a muscle since he hasn’t instructed you otherwise.
“So now you listen.” Charlie mutters to himself, it's barely audible to you since the blood is coursing so loudly through your veins, through your ears. You’re buzzing.
Charlie pushes you back down on the mattress so you lay completely flat. He pulls your jeans and underwear down the rest of your legs until you lay there bare before him. He inhales sharply at the sight of you. He could see the way you glisten for him, he could feel it on his hand when he had spanked you, your arousal having begun to trail down the tops of your thighs, he moaned at the sight.
His hand comes flying down, this time spanking you roughly on your pussy causing you to lurch forward into the sheets, crying out his name pathetically again. He leans over you, keeping his hand clutched tightly around your cunt, feeling your juices seep between his fingers, you moan and try to press back into his hand but he just slaps it again, your eyes screwing shut. He’s nearly got his entire weight on top of you, his hot breath fanning across your cheek as he comes close to your face.
“You’re so fucking wet for me… you want it that badly?” You nod your head vigorously.
“Yes! Yes, Charlie I want you, I-I need you so badly, please.”
“Hmmm, what do you need?”
“Anything, y-your fingers…”
“Where”
“... in me, in me please.” You’re completely desperate, your crying and sobbing from earlier making you especially weak to his ways, his voice, his body. God, he could do anything to you, and you would let him, you would beg him, you would thank him.
Slowly, Charlie sinks one thick finger into your soaking cunt. Your eyes roll into the back of your head as he pumps it slowly, in and out, in and out of you. You try and push your hips back to meet the small thrust of his finger but he keeps you pinned down.
Charlie could feel you clenching around his single digit and he groaned next to your ear, nibbling on the soft lobe as he continued his ministrations. You whined, withered underneath the weight of his body, his hot chest pressing into your back, pressing you into the mattress. 
“Charlie, please I-”
“What? You need more? You need more from me?”
“Please.” Charlie draws his index finger out of you before joining it with his middle one, probing your entrance teasingly, swirling his fingers around it but never going in.
“Fuck-”
“Do you think you deserve it?” He didn’t deserve it, didn’t deserve you, your pussy, none of it. He was only projecting his worthlessness onto you. He didn’t mean it, he couldn’t.
“N-no.” You say, tears welling in your eyes from a multitude of things. Overstimulation being one of them. You tried to get your hips to stop pressing into his hand but it was so hard when the temptation was right there.
“No… you don’t.” He kisses the tears that slip from your eye, pressing a finger to your mouth and you gladly take it in, laving your tongue around his salty, rough skin. His two fingers at your entrance finally push in deeper, causing you to cry out around his finger that was in your mouth, drool slipping past your lips.
Then he starts pumping, quickly, and you can’t stop the way your hips push into his hand, trying to meet him halfway through his thrusts, needing more so badly. You moan around his fingers, he echoes your moans back into your ear. You can feel his cock filling out, getting harder and harder against the back of your legs where it still lays confined in his underwear.
All too quickly he pulls his fingers from you and spanks your pussy again, you choke on a cry around the finger that’s still in your mouth. You’re already wrecked, and he’s nowhere near done with you.
“You only get to cum on my cock, understand?” You nod your head with vigour, eyes trying to meet his from where he’s positioned, behind you yet over top of you. You can feel him moving around, pulling his fingers from your mouth and his underwear off as best as he can without moving too far away from you.
“I understand, Charlie.” You cry, the tears unrelenting at this point, beyond your control.
Fuck, what weas he doing? Why was he doing this now?
What other way did he really have though, to show you what you mean to him? Definitely not words, no. No matter how much he writes for the theatre, words could never come close to describing what he feels for you, what he needs from you, wants from you, what he wants to give to you, tell you, provide you. None of it, no language would do.
Nothing would come closer to his body on you, in you, moving in tandem with you, hearts so close together that he loses sense of himself and just feels you wrapped so tightly around him in every sense. That’s the only way he could show you, the only way he could tell you.
He grabs his cock in his hand, pumping himself slowly and rests his head on your shoulder, groaning into your skin at the sensation. “Beg.” He spits, his lips moving against your flesh. He rubs the head of his cock against your slick folds and you yelp, pressing your hips back but he anticipated it, drawing his hips back, away from you.
“Charlie, please I-I need you so badly, I’ve never wanted… anything else but you, I just- please, I need you so bad, I-I, l...love-”
“I told you not to fucking say it.” He grits from behind clenched teeth, slapping your ass harshly and you let a sob leave your lips. The burn was so good.
“I-I’m sorry, I can’t help it-” You whine, fists bunching up the sheets with a grip so deadly your skin is turning white. He lets his head drop to your shoulder again, his own eyes screwing shut, trying to will his own tears away as he continues to run his cock along your pleading entrance, collecting whatever arousal has seeped out of you.
“Fuuuck, perfect little pussy... so desperate for my cock, isn’t it?” He mutters, almost to himself as he watches the way his cock moves between your glistening folds. Unashamed, you keep crying, moaning at the feeling of his big cock so close to where you need him most, nodding your head.
“Please, Charlie I need you inside m- fuck, just put it in, please-”
Your breath hitches in your throat as you feel him press in with the tip, letting the spongy head break through your folds and slightly dip into your entrance. Your fists clench and unclench against the sheets. With a sharp ‘fuck’ Charlie presses the rest of his long, thick cock into you, both of you moaning and breathing in one another.
He lets his cock sit in you, coming to interlock his fingers with yours, pinning your hands above your head, elongating both of your bodies but mostly yours, from how much longer his body is. Only then does he start snapping his hips into yours, letting his thrusts punch out your moans and cries from your chest.
At this angle, he’s hitting places inside of you so deep you never thought you could fathom, filling you up to the brim, you swear you can feel him in your stomach, punching your guts into your throat with every violent thrust.
You moan his name without relent, it’s the only thing you could possibly ever know. Charliecharliecharliecharliecharlie to infinity. You never wanted to know anything else, no other thought suddenly as interesting as him. He was the only thing that mattered. The way his cock filled you was dizzying, mind-numbing, and bone-shattering.
“You always need me so badly, you could never leave me, never leave this cock. Desperate little slut.” Charlie groans, head resting on your back as his powerful thrusts push you up the bed. He latches a hand around one of your hips, trying to keep you pinned down.
“You would never fucking leave me, you’d never fucking do it.” He continues, maybe to himself. You can feel him nuzzling his face into the skin on your shoulder, kissing and biting the skin, leaving a mark in his wake like he always does.
“I won’t, Charlie- I won’t, I promise.” You hiccup, his thrusts unrelenting in their assault. You could feel your release building, that bright white feeling rising inside of you. The only sounds in the room were your breathy moans, Charlie’s growls and the loud slap of skin on skin, his hips colliding with your ass every time.
“Dont ever say that s-shit again- dont ever fucking leave me. Don’t - ever. Fucking. Leave.” He growled, biting your shoulder and punctuating his words with harsher thrusts, fucking into you.
“I’m s-sorry Charlie-” You’re cut off by a sensation on your back. Hot, wet, slippery. Charlie sniffles. 
He’s crying, burning holes into your flesh as they land on your back. Your own eyes well up all over again. The pleasure of his cock deep, deep, deep inside you and the emotions flowing through both of you was overwhelming, overstimulating, your mind was going blank, you felt like you would black out.
You hear it then, his quiet cries, the way his chest shakes as he finally lets it go, lets it out. And then he’s suddenly pulling out of you, grabbing one of your ankles and one side of your hip, flipping you over quickly, hiking your legs back up around his waist and continuing his punishing, relentless pace. You moan embarrassingly loudly as you watch the way his stomach flexes into you, the way his chest tightens and constricts, the flush that spreads from in between his marvelous pecs to his cheeks, his dark wet eyes, the red that fills them, the way his eyelashes clump together, making them look longer, darker, the dark halo of hair that frames his face. Fuck.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
It was beyond you at this point, you couldn’t stop what was already put into motion.
“Oh, Charlie…” You cry, chest arching into his, your nails scraping his biceps. He moans at the pain, dropping his forehead to yours. You’ve never heard him moan like this, never seen him cry like this, never seen him so lost and completely gone in you.
Even if it was a mistake.
Even if you would regret it tomorrow.
Or five minutes from now.
Or immediately afterwards.
It was the truth, your truth. His truth. It was the only thing you could ever possibly know.
“I love you.” You cry, burning tears streaming down your cheeks. Charlie’s eyes meet yours, lost, delirious, shocked.
“You… y-you can’t.” He doesn’t tell you to stop this time. Doesn’t tell you to shut up, doesn’t tell you how dumb and pathetic it is to love him. You love him.
“I do, Charlie I-I do. Fuck, I love you so fucking much.” You whine, nails biting the skin on his back. His hips never stop, he’s fucking common sense and all things rational out of your mind. All you know is him. All you ever want to know is him, Charlie.
His chin wobbles, moans escape past his lips as he refuses to stop fucking you, his cock so fucking hard it hurts him, almost more than this. Almost more than the chant that has started to leave your lips, the floodgates have been opened and you can’t stop your confession now.
“I love you, I love you- shit, Charlie I love you, I love you so much, I love your fucking cock, fuck!” You couldn't stop, you felt like you could never stop at this point. You never wanted to stop saying it, never wanted to stop telling him. You loved him, you loved him, you loved him.
“You’re… you’re not real… you’re- fuck, too fucking good for m-me.” Charlie gasps, his hips speeding up, his cock growing harder somehow. You feel him pulse inside of you. Your eyes roll into the back of your head, mouth hanging agape, no sound being emitted from you. Charlie moves his lips down to your exposed throat, kissing and sucking on the delicate skin before wrapping a firm hand around it, not squeezing too tight.
“Yours.” You manage to choke out, gripping onto his wrist that's at your throat with all the strength you had with your body gone pleasure weak. Charlie moans your name, it makes you cry more.
“I’m yours, Charlie.” You manage to say more clearly, using all your willpower to look him in the eyes. His eyes are blown black, the dark circles underneath them so, so pigmented. You could feel the crescendo building, he was about to break. His lips were glossy, spit slicked and roughly bitten.
“You’re mine.” He confirms, more to himself than to you. He just… he felt like he could never be sure enough. Like he would never believe that you were his. That you were in love with him.
You nod your head, hands interlocking behind his head, gripping tightly into his hair.
“I’m yours, yours.” You keen, hips rolling into his as you both neared your release. His hand around your throat keeps you pinned in place as his fucks you into the mattress, moaning, groaning, crying your name. The slight added pressure makes you see stars, your pussy flutters around his cock and your back arches, pressing your chest into his but Charlie keeps you exactly where you are, your body convulsing as you cum, cum, cum around his cock, screaming his name.
“M’gonna cum, gonna f-fucking cum s-so deep inside, fill you up-”
“Please, Charlie.” You whine, dumb from the high that he continues to fuck you through, tears stained on the skin of your cheeks. You tug on his hair roughly, meeting his thrusts with a roll of your hips and that sends Charlie over the edge.
“Fhuuuck-” He lifts his head slightly, to look at you better as he splits you open one final time, his cock stilling in the deepest parts of you before he cums so fucking deep inside your pussy with the most guttural moan.
He fucks his cum back in to you until it’s seeping back out onto his cock. He groans so loudly you feel it in your bones. His hands wrap around your upper body, holding you tightly as he spins to lay on the mattress, holding your body to his chest, his cock still nestled deep inside of you.
Charlie gives you a small thrust, pushing and mixing his cum with yours one final time. You gasp and cling to him, your nails digging slightly into his muscular pec at the sensation, the delicious burn. You feel so incredibly full, so full of your Charlie. You love him.
“I lo-”
“I love you.”
Your heart must have stopped beating, your lungs, forgotten their functionality, your brain short circuited, your limbs incapacitated.
You looked up at him with those big, shiny wet eyes. You looked like a fawn, lost on the side of the road who just found someone who could help them. Someone kind, someone gentle, honest, safe, warm. Someone worth loving. He was worth loving. Charlie was worth loving.
But you already knew that.
He said it again, so low in the dark room, the dark night, eclipsed with spilled feelings and sweat, tears too. So many fucking tears. His voice so low it almost didn’t register, the deep vibrato rumbling your insides and warming you up all over again. 
He said it with you curled up on his chest, he said it again when you moved up his body to press your face into the crook of his neck, pressing your lips to his bruised skin, he said it as tears spilled from your eyes. He would say it as you fell asleep on him in the deadly hours of the night and again in the morning when you woke. He would remind you constantly, he couldn’t stop, couldn’t hold it in. Not anymore.
He would tell you he loves you a million and one times from then on, until you didn’t want to hear it from him anymore. 
tag list! @morby @shesakillerkween @gamingaquarius​ 
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newlyfaenesta · 3 years
Text
How Do You Solve a Problem like Vanserra?
Still on my ACOFAS reread. A lot of people like to complain about this book because “it has no plot” but SJM does a great job weaving future plot clues through the narrative. I’m not quite halfway through yet, but I find myself hung up on the constant mentions of the unrest in the Illyrian camps and what Eris tells Rhys in Mor’s chapter when they visit the Hewn City.
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Beron will die at some point before SJM is done with this series. There can’t be all this set-up with Eris without that happening. It’s a matter of when now, not if. And I’m wondering if we’ll actually get to see Beron try to make an attempt on actually expanding into the human territory like Eris warns Rhys.
As the text points out, it’s a huge hint that something needs to be done with Tamlin. He literally has no one left in his court, and probably couldn’t take on the entire Autumn Court army even if he was at full strength. SJM also makes a point of saying, via Feyre in an earlier chapter, that the human lands in Prythian don’t have their own Queen—they’re ruled by a council of older men. And given that the IC had to ask Graysen personally for help in the war, we know that the humans have no way of defending themselves either (as in no official army).
Hence Eris’ warning. Now, Summer and Winter are much closer to Spring and the human lands, so it would be slightly easier for them to take on Beron in lieu of Tamlin. But, aside from the fact that Tamlin’s never really done anything for either of those courts, Summer took huuuge hits in the war. They’re not fighting anyone anytime soon, even if they do oppose what Beron is doing. And Winter, though next to Autumn, would effectively end up chasing Autumn through the lands until they caught up to fight. Not a good strategy for someone who wants to win.
Hence Eris’ warning to Rhys specifically. Not only will it allow Rhys to fulfill his promise to help put Eris on the Autumn throne, but Rhys has the largest army of all the courts—and knows just how bad off Tamlin and his court (or lack thereof) really are.
But! Rhys’ armies are the Illyrians—the same Illyrians who are currently fomenting unrest because he just made them fight in a different war. As Azriel states to Rhys as one point, they’re raised to fight and then complain when there are losses. It’s contradictory, but it doesn’t make the Illyrians any less upset. If Rhys were to ask them to fight Autumn so soon after this war, they’d immediately move from unrest to outright mutiny. He would not have an army anymore—or, at the very least, would be too busy getting them back in line to be able to think about helping Spring and the humans.
The minute Beron hears about the Illyrian unrest? That’s when he’ll strike. No one would be able to stop him.
**I should mention that Rhys does say he doesn’t want to get involved in fighting for the humans (in regards to the queens on the continent—that they’d be seen as the conquerors rather than heroes stepping in to save them) but a Fae Court expanding their lands into unprotected human territory is a different situation. Queens vs humans is still human vs human, so that’s not something any Fae Court should be stepping into without being asked.
So I’m thinking that’s why we see Eris and Nesta dancing in that one ACOSF preview. I can see them working with him specifically to deal with Beron before another war (or complete takeover) occurs. As SJM stated in one IG interview, Eris isn’t in the book more than Azriel, so we know that the Beron Problem isn’t the whole focus. (I mean, this is Nesta’s book so we already knew that lol.) But I would guess that we will definitely see more development in that plot line, at the very least.
If I were to come up with a slightly wilder theory, I would say that maybe the Illyrian males rebel against Rhys, but I could definitely see some of the females offering their services if Cassian were to ask. It would have to be Cassian, though, because he’s the one who’s always checking on the camps and arguing loudly that the girls get their training time in. And if Nesta goes up there to train, that might help get more females on their side too.
If I were writing this as a fic, I’d have enough females offer to fight that—while their numbers aren’t enough to take on the Autumn Court—it would be enough to at least make a smaller stand in Spring Court.
Wilder theory: Emerie is one of the females that goes down there, and is the one to help Tamlin. If Tamlin is going to grow and have any sort of character development, he needs to be shown that other people can take care of themselves—that he can’t rule over them or treat them like glass as he tried to do with Feyre in ACOMAF. Whether it’s a romantic relationship or friendship, he needs someone like Emerie (who Cassian compares to Nesta), someone not willing to put up with his sh!t but willing to step in and get the job done because she can, on her own merits and not due to any male.
🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ Who knows? lol Maybe Eris will kill Beron before any of that even happens! But I’d like to see some of that happen, if only because we know something is going to have to be done about the Spring Court. Tamlin has already been the sort of villain once; SJM is setting him up for a redemption, I think, and narratively-speaking, where we leave him at the end of ACOFAS is not the last we should be seeing of him. Maybe Vassa will join Lucien on a trip to Spring Court and she’ll be the one to whip Tamlin into shape. 😂 He’s a High Lord without a court, she’s a queen without a throne. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️
I don’t know really where I’m going with this post, but theorizing is half the fun, right? 😁
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hornsandthings · 4 years
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Can you do Cassian as a mate head cannons? Thank you xxx
hi! i struggled a bit w/ cassian’s character, but i wanted to fulfil a request within a reasonable timeframe for once hehe! kept it a bit vague but added some story too. i hope you like it and thank you for requesting! x 
headcanons: cassian as a mate (ACoTaR) 
you were a surprise. when his scouts had called him to come investigate something odd, he had expected another strange yet concerning scene involving those wretched creatures slowly encroaching upon prythian. however, it was you who he’d found on the southern borders of the court, wide-eyed and shivering in some frost-lined cave. it was so ridiculously unbelievable that cassian barked an incredulous laugh in the silence that followed, unable to take his eyes from you. there was nothing funny about it, however - you had found yourself in a place where no human should be.
he didn’t know what to do with you - he hadn’t met many humans outside the archeron family. even so, you seemed different: wilder, perhaps even savage. the way you were looking at him made him uneasy: with reverential fear, with awe, with unabashed curiosity. how ironic - he was usually the one to intimidate, not the other way around. cassian couldn’t get anything out of you - all you did was stare, either ignoring or not comprehending his questions. he was considering sending someone for feyre, but it was then when you reached out a hand to him. something about the scene - you on your knees, looking so weathered yet such… hope in your eyes - clutched at his heart, and so he grasped your dirty, shaking, ice-cold hand, not knowing for quite some time the true importance of the moment.
your presence elicit conflict within the inner circle; there had been hot and loud debate on whether to send you back, especially after nesta had identified you as one of those rotten children of the blessed. a group of misguided humans, thinking fae akin to gods. upon learning that, cassian could now make sense of your strange behaviour. it made him uncomfortable, to say the least - his life was of no more or less value than yours, yet he knew there were some fae out there who would take advantage of the power imbalance. when he turned to look back at you, he found you already staring, and he’d never forget the first words out of your mouth: “please, don’t do that. i’ve come a long way. something told me i’d find safety here.”
eventually you were granted refuge at the house of wind. you were quiet about your past, becoming reserved and offering nothing but vague responses to the inner circle’s questions. at first cassian had suspected mistrust, but he soon came to realise that you couldn’t offer any information because perhaps you weren’t able to confront it yet. you seemed to have latched onto him, often keeping him company when he was at the house - something that became more frequent over time. your curiosity was loud and genuine, bombarding him with all kinds of questions ranging from thoughtful to inane. sometimes it was annoying, but sometimes it was endearing, too.
when he finally found out about the mating bond, there was no elation, no relief. cassian had been so sure that nesta was the one, felt it in his bones despite the conflict which always plagued their relationship. and yet, to have a human mate… it was a special kind of sweet sorrow. he finally broke down in azriel’s arms one night, unable to bear it any longer. “this wasn’t supposed to happen,” cassian had croaked, knowing the chances were near impossible. the thing that fate had given him, had intended to be his life-long constant, was doomed to only be a fleeting thing. azriel had held him, quiet and thoughtful as always, pulling him back from the edge with his words: that doesn’t mean it’s wrong.
the realisation had made him want to become distant - just the thought of you brought heartache. he had hoped that if he kept to the training decks and avoided the inner house, the others’ presence would keep you at bay. within days, however, you had walked right through the milieu of clashing swords and moving bodies, grasping his shoulder and saying: “you finally know.” cassian would never admit it aloud, but your severity frightened him, and your prior knowledge shamed him. he searched your eyes and found that he couldn’t ignore this. he didn’t have the luxury of it, which he had thought he’d have with nesta. there would be no miraculous transformations this time.
it took time - limited, precious time - but cassian did fall in love with you, bit by bit. at unexpected moments, you’d reveal a tidbit about your journey across prythian, and he’d gently coax some elaboration. first came all the wonders you’d witnessed: the bright landscapes, the creatures, the flowers. sometimes you’d touch upon the dangers, and your sheer constitution never failed to impress him - he even became proud of you. the most mesmerising was your faith: it was the mating bond which had guided you here, something which you never should have noticed in the first place as a human. it humbled him, to know that you risked everything to make it here. “thank you,” he once said to you in a quieter moment. “you came all this way to find me. thank you.”
while he was somewhat relieved by the fact you had gained both weight and colour since your arrival, cassian found it hard to overlook the many dangers a fae court posed to a human. velaris was safer than most - if not all - cities, but who knows which illnesses could befall a human and spare a fae. he couldn’t help but worry when you were out alone, or when even a seemingly normal cold kept you down for a few days. during those periods, he’d stay at your side despite your - and the healers’ - reassurances, loathe to give up even a single minute. you two had already lost so much time; oh, how he had wished he had found you earlier. you’d hold his hand, comforting him rather than him comforting you. “i promise i’ll be alright,” you’d murmur, carding your fingers through his hair. he’d find comfort in your soft breaths, in your warm skin.
rhys had eventually caught on, and urged cassian to live in the moment. “you’re grieving her before she’s gone,” rhys had said, a sad and understanding smile on his face. “she deserves your utmost attention instead.”
one night he watched you closely as you sat on his lap, tracing the faded scars on his wings. you hadn’t yet asked, and quite frankly, cassian wasn’t going to bring it up unprompted. your touch was soothing, however, light and loving. “i’ve got scars there, too,” you murmured, making cassian frown and grip your hips. he shifted until he could catch your eye.
“on your back?” he clarified, taking care to be mindful. you nodded, slowly shrugging off the nightclothes. it was unconventional, the way you showed him - coming close and hugging him tight, letting him see the long, raised lines on your back as he looked over your shoulder. the sound he’d made was involuntary - a mix between a growl and a gasp. he pulled you even tighter against him, big and gentle hands caressing your back. again he was reminded of human fragility, but also human strength. your strength. you nosed along his neck, pressing a kiss there to reassure him that you were fine.
cassian made a vow then, cupping the side of your face. his voice was not as solid as usual, but the same conviction was still there. “i’m just a man, my heart. i’m not as powerful as you think me to be, or as noble. mother above, i’m bastard born. i don’t deserve half the praise you afford me. but i do love you, with every fibre of my being. i promise you’re safe here, and you’re safe with me. i love you so much, now and--” he faltered, shaking his head and squeezing his eyes shut for a moment. “i’ll always love you.”
all you did was smile and nod, giving him a sweet kiss. it took effort to not break down with all the worries that crowded his heart, but cassian forced a deep breath and kissed you again, and again, and again. you had become so very important to him so very quickly that sometimes it felt like whiplash, but you were worth it all.
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littlesparklight · 3 years
Text
Water Lilies and Narcissi
There’s multiple counts of character death in here, both by murder and suicide, but none of it graphic.
***
Once there was a pair of twins born to the river god Kephisos and the nymph Liriope, pretty as the buds on flowers. As they grew, they bloomed, and more beautiful yet became. The girl, wielding bow and arrow as cleverly as she could weave or pluck flowers, blossomed under the attention her flowering beauty drew. She was charming and sweet, and sweetly charming to her suitors, and Nymphaia's father made sure that those who approached her in potential hope of more would treat her right. So her sweet disposition and her sweetness grew more fair, but not a single one of her suitors could distract her should her brother want to hunt, for she went with him always.
A potential worry to any parents, perhaps, except that their love was innocent; Nymphaia doting on her brother, and Narkissos would only see her smile, whether it was in the success of a hunt or for a gift from one of her hopeful suitors. He did not understand what charm she found in the play, or the promise of a future marriage. He did not understand why beauty should draw attention at all, and was uncomprehending not just in the face of his sister's suitors, but his own. For Narkissos felt not the sting of either love or lust, no matter the hopeful girl or boy or man, and in his lack of understanding he was thoughtlessly cruel in his rejections.
It might have mattered little, except for the string of broken hearts he left behind himself as he went to hunt, like a careless child attempting to mimick mother or sisters and eagerly yanking on flowers and herbs, breaking some, leaving others pulled out by the roots, yet more with drooping heads left to nod painfully in the wind.
Echo, spying the twins, tried to join them in their hunt to hopefully gain Narkissos' favour - unfortunately her lack of conversation left Nymphaia confused and, when a misunderstanding left her to attempt to embrace Narkissos, Echo was furiously spurned. Left behind was only a voice in the wind, but one of Nymphaia's suitors had spied the altercation, and already suspicious and laid to jealousy, he confronted Nymphaia alone, away from her father's riverbanks.
"You shameless, terrible girl, stringing us all along, when you only have eyes for your brother! It would behoove you to reject us - me - with some grace and honesty, but you can't, can you? Not when you need to hide such shameless lust."
The young man was furious, and uglier for both fury and jealousy, misaimed as it was.
"Love my--- Of course I love my brother! But not like that, what claim you? Have some shame! I already told you I wasn't interested, and Father has told you to go, so go!" Nymphaia cried, furious herself and humiliated besides. And, for the light in that former suitor's eyes, scared. He knew no reason any more and threw herself at her.
Her cry for father, for mother, for her dearest brother, was lost to the shaded pool they had been standing by as she was shoved underwater. The terror of the girl's struggle made the plane trees ringing the banks drop all their leaves.
The body sank to the bottom, and in her place lovely, death-white blooms grew from the leaves floating on top of the water.
The young man fled the scene, and said nothing of what he'd done, leaving Narkissos and his parents to search in vain for the lost daughter. But though he had no knowledge to accuse anyone in particular, Narkissos looked between all her suitors and accused them all with silent stares and harsher words, blaming their love, if not actions, for his sister's disappearance.
Narkissos' thoughtless cruelty in rejecting what he did neither understand nor feel from others became pointed. Became ugly and malicious as he blamed love - and truly so, however blindly! - for his sister's death. Unfortunately, though fewer and fewer approached him, one, unfortunately, so did. Even before Nymphaia's disappearance, Narkissos' tendency to be shallowly thoughtless would have hurt such a sweet-minded, gentle boy. Now, it was worse than that.
"Love?" Narkissos sneered, all flashing blue eyes and long, dark hair to frame that comely face as he stared at the hopeful suitor. "You might as well take your sword there at your side and kill yourself here and now, that would be quicker since that's where all love leads! And I want nothing to do with you, Ameinias. Take that love of yours and go."
The door was slammed shut, and not even Liriope's sad-eyed, frowning disappointment in her son would urge him to open it and be kinder in his rejection.
Perhaps if he had, if he'd not been hurting and nursing his annoyed confusion for all the attention aimed at him, matters might have ended differently. But poor, gentle Ameinias spent the day in tears, sunk into a blackness of mind from whence desperate action comes. Narkissos' cruel spurn echoed in his head again and again, until it had become a demand in the dark of the night, until Ameinias stole out from his comfortable bed and sturdy home, sword in hand, and walked the empty streets until he came to the right door.
"Nemesis! Furious, gentle goddess, who avenges those wrongly harmed, hear me!" Ameinias was sobbing as he drew his sword, hands shaking but his grip determined, eyes fever-bright and locked in a desperate stare at the door. "Narkissos, son of Kephisos, has no kindness in his heart, has no regard for others but himself. So let him love only that which he can't reach, when he's spurned all other love besides. Let him not go out of this unharmed, meanly injuring others with no thought!"
The sword cut true, despite the boy's upset, and Nemesis, her dark wings spread in guarding sympathy as the body fell down onto the threshold, fulfilled Ameinias' last, aching words.
In the morning, Liriope, going to fetch water, was the one who first found the body. Her scream roused Narkissos who, in wild-eyed, guilty upset, fled the house.
He had not, for all his cruel words, actually meant them. Amneinias dead there on their doorstep was a shock.
The young man ran through the streets of Thespiai, and out into the surrounding wilderness. Down paths he'd taken with his sister, laughing ease to her steps as they pursued a deer, paths he had been avoiding in his grief.
Now, they took him to a little lake in the forest, surrounded by denuded plane trees, their leaves thick on the lake's shores and the air shimmering with fear and grief. Narkissos, tired as he was, sunk down there to drink. Nemesis, having followed, made sure he paused too long as he bent over the water. Paused just long enough to catch sight of his reflection, which he had avoided in any surface that might show it to him since Nymphaia disappeared.
Arrested now, Narkissos stared, and ached for the accusing similarity he could see in his reflection. His sister was still here, and yet untouchable, and he missed her. She might have been able to stop him from being so cruel, and now two people were dead.
Three.
"Nymphaia, where did you go?" Narkissos cried, striking the water, but though it shattered the beloved image he couldn't made himself move. Instead he sat rooted, all the more desperate for the image to return whole and still to him, for he was aching with loss and the love of what was only a mockery of what had been. He was his sister, but his sister wasn't here, and she had died - he was sure one of her suitors was the reason, had she perhaps been suffering from heartache? Had someone killed her? It didn't matter. She was gone, and he was here, and he missed her.
And in missing her, he had caused a boy who had only been suffering from what Narkissos himself didn't understand in any way than as what he felt for his sister to kill himself. And though he had had no desire, still didn't, couldn't ever have seen himself to kiss her for that love, would he have killed himself for it?
It had been a guilty thought, but his parents' grief had stopped him. Now... Now his heart ached as much for guilt as longing.
"My words have caused death, our beauty has caused your death and I cannot live without you. Nymphaia, Nymphaia, I miss you, I miss your face, but seeing it in my own reflection only makes it hurt so much more. Mother and Father are glad to see me, both for myself and for the reminder that some part of you are still here, but you aren't and I hate myself as much as I love you!"
And he couldn't move.
He had feared it, had feared he wouldn't have been able to look away once he spied himself, but Nemesis had ensured he had looked and now kept poor Narkissos rooted. Not even clawing at his face made him able to move, and instead he was reduced to tearful regret of marring the face that was his sister's, too.
Finally, unable to stand the sight of himself but unable to look away, Narkissos tossed himself at his reflection, reaching for what couldn't be touched.
The lake swallowed up the youth, and Nemesis, in solemn understanding, let flowers bloom at the spot the Narkissos had sat, unable to look away from his reflection. In death, the twins would be together, his flowers on the bank of the lake, her flowers growing on the surface of it.
*** Myth check: I’ve combined different versions of the Narcissus story into one. The one that involves Narcissus having a sister is incestuous, but as I’ve always liked how Narcissus can easily be read as aro-ace in the other versions, here there’s no incest, only platonic sibling love in service of the tragedy and to flesh the relationships out. In the incestuous version the cause of his sister’s death (she has no name) is unknown, so I went with something that seemed to suit the situation and also pulled in the incest angle, if only as a wilful misunderstanding of Nymphaia and Narkissos’ relationship.
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