no, i am only left with who you were ,we’re both frozen in time in each others’ memories

you’ll never learn of my new habits, nor will i ever come to know yours ,i won’t get to watch you grow, see you become strong, hear about all of your new adventures and revelations.

it’s strange to think you will only remember me as the person i was with you

~ Eighteen years by Madisen Kuhn

i keep telling myself and others that i never thought i would make it to 18 and its true in a way but i never thought i would be the reason behind it. the future remains illogical to me, like unscrewing a laptop and attempting to dissect the complicated mechanics when i'm no expert and do not even know the linguistic term of someone who specializes in laptops. i am not even a beginner, i was chosen in a random lottery by a greater force that i vaguely and barely believe in (i probably don't) and i had to be here as a creature, a specimen riddled with anxiety and pressure and stomach aches that come and go before the mental breakdowns. i can't even imagine what lies ahead of me and i'm too scared to. i wish i wasn't this old i wish i could just curl into my mothers arms and kiss her cheek and let her caress my face as the afternoon light shines but fails to interrupt my well deserved nap. i wish i could just love the four people i was aware the existence of and not explore the crevices of my social life and remain clean of all emotional ties that cause further pain because i'm sure heartbreak would ruin me. i wish to remain in a jelly form, floating away into the unknown ocean that i am terrified of but cannot help having a bit of curiosity for. i wish i wish i wish. i wish i didn't have to turn 18 as it serves as an unfair reminder for the ill preparation i have planned for my next steps, i wish i could make my parents proud.

∘₊✧ ─ ✧₊∘ ➵ hey look, it’s junior viana carneiro! he’s twenty-six years old, he’s lived in shrike heights for eighteen years, and he’s currently working at solstice comics in shrike mall. i heard he’s pretty high-strung, but i think he’s so adoring at the same time. can he make it out alive? ― henry zaga, gay, male + he/him. 

♡ find junior’s stats here !! ♡ find junior’s bio here !! ♡ find junior’s wanted connections here !!

Happy New Year. Beginnings. 18 years ago: Photos from 2004 of Oliver, @janthonyavery & @maximovroom by @ebruyildiz from the Coral Room which had an aquatic tank with mermaids swimming in it. As it turns out Ebru was there randomly and saw the band for the first time. Thanks to the Coral Room for bringing this incredibly lovely person and awesome photographer into our lives. #serendipity #ebru #ebruyildiz #timgregorio #justinavery #coralroom #2004 #aptbs #aplacetoburystrangers #eighteenyears (at The Coral Room) https://www.instagram.com/p/CYpEFc9JWEt/?utm_medium=tumblr

some of my favorite pages from @tsktsks book “eighteen years”. Absolutely love this book.

0090

“How does it feel, this being your last day being eighteen.”

*deer in headlights look* “Crap.”

Go to hell, astrocatsama

@astrocatsama is terrible. If you do not know who she is, you are lucky. @astrocatsama is an artist who paints pedophilia in the form of #shotacon and #lolicon In fact, @astrocatsama is engaged in the representation of pedophilia. In addition, she finds this cute, repeatedly pointing out the hashtag #cute under her drawings. She must be punished for this. @astrocatsama distributes child porn and sells it. If you think this is normal, I hope you will be punished for this too.

Please reblog this

https://www.instagram.com/p/B1rE3JhpTaH/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

Another day at home, another day of reading 📖 #bookstagram #book #bookworm #madisenkuhn #eighteenyears

If you ever wondered where the term “like a boss” came from, Jack’s the inspiration. He runs things. ° #likeaboss #diamondlkcats #catslife #diamondlkphotography #coolcat #hestheboss #eighteenyears #winsome #regal #norwegianforestcat #orangecat #nokaoi #jack (at Diamond Lake, Minneapolis) https://www.instagram.com/p/BztRwECnjeN/?igshid=epcymdi5p4uu

“And so be it, that I am grey and humming in the background. I am forgotten Sundays and chipped fingernail polish and borrowed sheets. I’m the song you’ll get stuck in your head, but it will remind you of someone else. I am 2 in the afternoon, I am the last day of winter, I am a face on the sidewalk that won’t show up in your dreams. And I am everywhere, and I am nothing at all.”

madisen kuhn

Eighteen years

How are U, friends? 🤘🏻😀 #nymguitarist #stillofthenight #whitesnake #cover #axefx2xl #fender #nonocaster #fun #improvisation #eighteenyears

Said goodbye to our house of 18 years this morning. Been a very stressful few weeks getting ready to leave. Feels very strange to know we won't be going back again. Lots of memories, both good and bad, have been made in this house. Now onto the next adventure 🏘 #movinghouse #emptyhouse #moving #newhouse #memories #goodmemories #badmemories #18years #eighteenyears #newadventure #adventure

In terms of pet names, I also love Sirius calling Harry “my little one.”

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh this is CUTE.

this is cute (also because in my brain, sirius will always be bigger than harry even when harry is Full Size) . and eighteenyear old harry who has been working out very hard with quidditch and is like "yah, look at these fuckin muscles" walking around the house with his muscle tanks, and his shorts that show off his legs. and is generally regarded now as not just "scrawny and specky" because puberty hit him like a fucking train.

and then sirius just "morning, little one"

decimates the ego. in two words.

"I am not little, stop calling me that."

"Dunno, seem little to me," Sirius said, putting his hand ontop of harry's head and moving it in a straight line towards his face, only coming up to just at Sirius's chin.

Harry scowled, "Because your parent's made a deal with the devil. Joke will be on you when you hit forty and suddenly all your teeth fall out or something."

"Will you purree all my meals for me?"

"No. I'll make you suffer." Harry told him.

"But what else are all those muscles good for if not hand-mushing your godfathers food?"

Super excited to dig into these!!! . . . #blackandwhite #book #bookaddict #booknerd #bookaholic #bookstagram #books #booklover #bookworm #bookblogger #bookaddict #milkandhoney #rupikaur #salt #nayyirahwaheed #eighteenyears #madisenkuhn

( trans man | he/him | elliot fletcher ) —— isn’t that REGULUS BLACK? yeah that is them, sitting there at the SLYTHERIN table with those other SIXTH years. when sybill looks into that crystal ball of hers, she sees icy streets, a black cat sleeping on top of textbooks, a table covered in empty coffee cups, and vials of potions hidden under quidditch gear, which seems about right for that EIGHTEEN year old. anyway i’ve heard they’re pretty COMPETITIVE, HARSH, and LOYAL. apparently they’re in VENIT TEMPESTAS / MARKED DEATH EATER and a PUREBLOOD but i’m sure that’s not related…

bio (tw murder, addiction, abuse, disordered eating)

so you know the drill, reg’s the youngest son in the black fam. parents are a bit off their rockers, older brother is doing weird things like not wanting to kill people, at least his cousins are pretty ok

he grew up thinking of most things in zero sum terms: if someone else wins, he loses and losing hurts a lot

so you get an angry little porcupine that doesn’t believe in emotions-- by third year, regulus was out of running to be a prefect for ~unempathetic behavior~

reg also wants that attention and approval tho, more than he wants to remain alive, and doesn’t have the social skills to get it through being a decent person. 

so he decided hard work was the way to go, signing up for a ridiculous amount of classes for OWLs on top of his quidditch position. takes the dark mark when he’s 16.

tw addiction: can’t handle it the normal way, so he starts brewing potions. first just one to focus and one to sleep after, but it keeps escalating. by the end of fifth year, he’s worried about timing taking the potions so that he doesn’t crash in the middle of an exam

tw disordered eating: it’s not the exam that gets him though, it’s quidditch practice. he blacks out during one-- falls less than ten feet, isn’t very hurt, but the staff learn that half of his bad habits. they’re watching closely, threatening to tell his mother.

regulus would absolutely rather they not tell his mother because he generally recommends no one talk to walburga unless they have to, but it’s actually not his biggest concern

his OWL grades come back and they’re as good as he hoped, but he actually doesn’t hear about it until three days later because he’d already all but moved out of grimmauld place

working overtime to try to finish as much as the healer apprenticeship as he can before he graduates (thanks to rodolphus)