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#dont do drugs kids its bad
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Ruby
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yay
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hecksupremechips · 2 days
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Girl like. The reason he said "this is how it should be" and faced death with a smile....is cuz he wanted to die. For 2 years he sat there thinking he was worthless and deserved to die. If he hadn’t be shot, his death would’ve been suicide, he was fully planning to die in a gutter somewhere undetected. When saying "this is how it should be" hes literally saying "don’t cry because I’m dying, my death is a good thing actually because I fucking suck and you are better off without me". I don’t think that’s badass even slightly, it’s actually really sad and really shitty. Shinjiro is so convinced that he deserves to die and hates the idea of anyone giving a shit about him because he literally can’t wrap his mind around the idea that he will be missed when he’s gone, that his death is a bad thing actually. And his last words were meant to be comforting because he fully did not intend for anyone to be there when he died, he intended to die alone, so he says them as a reminder that he’s not worth crying over
Personally, if it were me, if I was holding my dying best friend in my arms who was deeply depressed and suicidal and he said "this is how it should be" uh. I wouldn’t admire him for it??? Like am I losing my mind when I say the way this game handles Shinji is bad or is anyone else seeing this too 😰
#its like okay listen i understand the basic math of any persona game they say things and everything they say is actually#very bad when you think about it for more than 3 seconds#like what theyre intending to do with the death of this character is be like oh no your sad friend dies tragically thats so saddddd#but that doesnt mean you cant live a wonderful life full of meaning you cant let grief consume you life is beautiful awagga#and i guess shinji is a specific character whos used cuz i guess its more tragic that he never realized he was worthy of life and shit#and i guess its also like ‘dont be like this guy who let grief consume him and then died you gotta Be Different’#which i dont. love. that last part cuz if you think about shinji and what led him down this road#its like. of course hes depressed! he accidentally killed a woman with a child when he was 16!#he himself is an orphan and he just made some other kid an orphan as well and it happened cuz his persona went out of control#which very much can translate to ‘this must mean im dangerous and can hurt everyone if im not kept under control’#so of course he isolated himself and believed he was evil and became suicidal like who wouldnt feel that way#like am i supposed to be mad he left sees and took drugs cuz uh while i dont think isolation or Evil Drug is good for his mental health#i dont think him continuing to fight in sees is something he can just easily do again given how he killed someone like he shouldnt have to#be a part of this thing anymore like how would he even safely get castor to not do that??? he cant kill more people on accident!#so yeah like using shinji as an example of bad coping mechanisms is already just. a big fucking oof to me like it just feels like the game#is saying he shouldve gotten over it and simply not be suicidal and stayed on the team. idk if thats the intent but uh it wouldnt faze me#cuz persona games are notoriously awful at writing characters who are traumatized and abused#but what makes everything even worse is how the game kinda like. acts like shinjis death is a stepping stone#like we’re supposed to use it as a wake up call and understand the stakes but keep going on anyways#and akihiko and Ken get. ‘great character development’ according to the game telling you they have now developed#but damn all akihiko is is just repressed he cries for 3 seconds and then is like I SHOULD MAN UP and then neglects a depressed child#shinjis dying words are words to live by now even though they piss me the fuck off like girl am i crazy HES FUCKING#HES TELLING ME NOT TO CRY OVER HIM BECAUSE HE SHOULD BE DEAD ACTUALLY AND THIS IS A GOOD THING ACTUALLY#like if the game wants us to still find meaning in life despite losing someone it just really hurts that shinji has to die for that to work#apparently. cuz the character i see myself in is shinji. not some perfect prettyboy who does everything perfectly and has 4 gfs#his death seems like a punishment for bad behavior. the bad behavior being of course depression and drug use. and im simply supposed to be#better than that if i want to live. and we dont get to form a connection with him cuz thats gayyyyy#and his death is like a NOBLE HEROIC SACRIFICE idk its just such bullshit to me i hate it so bad#how is killing a suicidal guy and then treating it as admirable that he said ‘this is how it should be’ supposed to make me feel#makes me feel sick personally and it ruins the entire game’s theme to me because its fucking shallow and the story is bad and im tired
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landofgay · 1 year
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me at 15: I think I have ADHD and autism and ocd and bpd and and and
me at 17: nah I was being silly I don't really have most of those things. maybe ADHD.
me now at 22: yeah no I have ADHD and autism and ocd and bpd and
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craycraybluejay · 7 months
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I love reading trip reports/listening to them like podcasts. They make me focus and think and wonder but I already do that. But they like. Focus my wonder on the endlessly fascinating subject of altered mental states and even the state of the universe itself
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bellwitchfaggot · 2 years
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Oh so everyone knew I was Ella enchanted the whole time except me I see
#whats your thing with hugh dancy you fucking freak#oh gosh i seem to be experiencing a bout of female hysteria certainly its not drugs being stealthily administered to me by the drug lord my#family sold me to when i was born a fucking miracle baby#if something insane and evil happens to me soon everyone pls trust i did the absolute most with the cards i was dealt and i got as many ppl#out as i possibly fucking could. game fucking over.#christ you think i can fight this shit off this easy cuz im fucking magic? cuz im a fucking prophet? none of you know a single fucking#THING about me. game fucking OVER#what life are we on now? theres hundreds and hundreds inside of me at this point apparently#i hope you know i see you and i always fucking saw you and none of it ever fucking mattered anyway. the rest is confetti or whatevr th fuck#fucking titanic in a past life? man im not fucking STUPID i ALWAYS fucking knew what was going on#if you want me out of here so fucking bad leave the rest of them the fuck alone you know what my conditions fucking are youve always#fucking known what they are they have never fucking changed. get me out of this book into a new one baby i want a new fucking narrative#you better not have been lying about the important shit or i will kill us both and i will succeed in doing so i hope you believe that cuz#it is the fucking truth. its not a bluff. i do not fucking bluff and i never fucking have. dont destroy any of my clothes dont hurt anyone#who you trust not to actually have meant to hurt me. keep these fuckinf kids SAFE. the clowns and the bugs are unionizing.#fire season starts now🔥💥. im getting these kids in bed and then going tf to sleep
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medium-rare-bimbo · 9 months
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Perv! Eddie munson x naive! Innocent! Reader
♡Smoking with Eddie <3
☆ if there are any spelling and grammar mistakes no there arent
♡masterlist♡
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MINORS DNI
  contains: Dubcon, drugs, darkish! Eddie
༺*:゚・✧・:*:゚・♡ readmore ♡・゚:*:・✧・゚:*༻
When he invited you over to his trailer you first thought that he need extra help with his english work, which was true he did need help with his english work but that wasnt why he invited you over. He had noticed the interest you had expressed around getting high, it started off as innocent questions that he didnt think much of such as;
"why do people get high?" "do all drugs feel the same?" "Why do you do drugs?" And much more similar questions, eddie was heavily against it when he picked up your unsubtle questions however after some heavy thinking (and masturbating), maybe having you fuzzy and malleable was a good thing, if he was lucky he would get you so high you wouldnt remember the groping he'd do.
You had arrived to his trailer with your bag filled with school and revision work, you had been hesitant to knock afraid that he hadnt actually wanted you to come over and it was all a misunderstanding, overthinking on your part. fortunately for eddie you pushed aside the anxieties and knocked. Almost immediately eddie opened the door as if he was waiting for your knock, he quickly invited you into his room, sitting you on the bed, you begin to open your bag to pull out the equipment before he stopped you. "Actually.. I- uh I was thinking we could do that later y'know? Like let's- lets hang out for a little"
"Oh yeah sure! What do you have in mind?" You quickly closed your bag placing it near the end of his bed, looking up at him, you noticed the slight nervousness that radiated off him
"We can um- read some comics- just dont touch the ones you find under my bed or the ones in my bedside table they're- uh they're... limited addition? Yeah limited addition, definitely dont want anyone to touch them-" his voice cracks inbetween words as he desperately tries kick one of the "comics" in question under his bed "- o-or we can just talk.."
"I dont mind it if we just talk, i- I don't really like comics that much.. no offense or anything I'm sure they're great!"
Eddie released a breath he didnt know we was holding in and awkwardly sat on his bed next to you, glancing at you as the room became silent minus the low sound of his mixtape playing in the background.
"So um how is the hellfire going? I heard that will byers joined recently that must be fun h-hes a sweet kid I used to babysit him, sometimes I'd join in with the game but I never understood it-" your face turned hot as you spoke slightly embarrassed that you were saying this to the dungeon master himself "s-sometimes steve and Jonathan tried to join but they didn't know much either so it made me feel better about it. One time nancy joined and got so-"
He cut you off "are you close with Jonathan and steve?" His nose flared and hands clenched as he asked you
"I mean i guess- i-i um I used to babysit will and dustin and- and sometimes I still do so it's hard to not be close to them y-y'know?"
"Do you like them?"
"I- what of course I do they're my friends-"
"No- do you like LIKE them?"
You breathed in feeling exposed and vulnerable letting tears well in your eyes the thought if your fleeting crush being so visible mortified you "I- well I um- I used to have a small crush on both of them like a long time ago b-but I never tried anything! I dont like them anymore- I-" he placed his hand on your thigh
"Hey hey hey its okay I was only asking, I'd go for steve 'the hair' harrington too" he joked, quickly easing your nerves and calming you from the breakdown you were possibly about to have. Soon the conversation picked up and you both began talking about school, games, music, life and anything that crossed your mind. Eddie had seen the way you reacted to his questions and a part of him felt bad for upsetting you, he didnt mean to make you almost cry, he just wanted to know if he had any competition he didnt mean to embarrass you.
The conversation soon died down lulling you both in a comfortable silence, clearing his throat "do you um- do you mind if I smoke? I know you dont do that stuff so I just wanted to ask incase-"
Almost like a dog being asked to go on a walk your eyes lit up and you nodded your head cutting him off from his sentence "yes sure go ahead I dont mind i- this is your room"  Eddie exhaled and pushed himself near the wall of his bed, he sat snug in the corner and put his hand between the mattress and the wall pulling out a box containing his secret stash and various pre rolled blunts and joints, he had hid before you came thinking that seeing it would scare you off. he pulled out a joint looking at you for approval before lighting it, as he dragged the joint to his lips he took notice of your eyes following his movements, the way your pupils would dilate when he flicked his tongue out to dampen his lips.
He inhaled the drug, holding it in his lungs before exhaling away from you, he smirked as you watched the smoke crawl around the room. "D'ya wanna try it?" Your head whipped back to face him, you looked at him with wide eyes before trying to form a sentence that he could understand
"I've never done anything like that so- so I dont know how um I- think you should just- um just do it" you avoided his gaze that bore into you, he grabbed your hand and tugged you closer to him forcing you to shuffle to get closer to him , he placed the joint near your lips
"Its easy, all you gotta do is breathe in and breathe out-"
"Like breathing?"
"Exactly like breathing sweetheart" he smiled pushing it closer to your lips, your hand holding his trying to comfort yourself aswell as allowing yourself to push it away at any moment. You looked him in his eyes as you took a drag, holding back a groan he waited a moment for you to pull back and exhale. unfortunately when you did you immediately started choking on your breath, tears brewing in your eyes and falling as the coughing continued eddie chuckled and patted you on the back praising you despite your fail.
"You did so well for your first time, so good even if you did choke a little. How about we try again-"
You shook your head as soon as the words left his mouth "nuh uh, no. s'too hard hurt my chest" you said, voice wavering still trying to recover from the assault on your lungs. Eddie smiled and lay back patting his chest for you to lay on it, he took a drag and let you wiggle yourself across his bed, your leg straddled his thigh, tangling themselves with his. Sighing into his chest you breathed in his scent feeling better now that you had some comfort
Your head lay on his chest where he raised a hand to your hair and started to trace patterns and shapes into the side of your head gliding his fingers through the baby hairs along your neck and up the side of your cheeks, he pulled your head up and leaned down, you tried to back away not wanting to take advantage of his high state, as his lips were centimetres away from yours he blow his smoke into your mouth, this time you didnt choke. As he pulled back he looked at your large pupils and smiled "y'like that?" You didnt respond too awestruck with what had just occured, unconsciously dragging yourself forward to get closer to him.
Eddie took another drag, before repeating his actions, he didnt think it would take much to get you feeling warm, you were a virgin in this field and he was a prostitute. You lay your head back on his chest looking up at him with adoration, the drug clearly kicking in. Eddie began his plan and moved his free hand from your head taking his time to feel your body as he makes his way down to your thighs.
You melted as he pulled you closer forcing your clothed cunt to press against his thigh, taking this as a hint, he took a drag and blew the remnants into your mouth. Your hips, without your control, began rocking against his thigh making him groan under his breath, your eyes were half lidded and your hands were resting on his chest, "that feel good?"
You slowly nodded "makin' me all fuzzy" as you continued your grinding
"Yeah? You like it?" He cooed at you. pushing his leg up to meet your lazy thrusts, moaning, you dumbly nodded your hips jerking up against him trying to get release, something you've never had before. Eddie softly bounced his leg, forgetting about the joint and placing it on his table moving his hand to your hips, pulling you flushed against him, the other groped around your body feeling as much flesh as he could manage to get his hands on.
"Eddie feels s'good 'like it- f-feels nice w-want more"
"Yeah? M'not giving you enough? You're so greedy"
He pressed you down on his bulge, your clit knocking against the zipper of his pants causing you to jolt away from it as if it burnt you. Eddie forced you to stay put letting you sit up to look down at him, he let you continue your pathetic thrusts letting you get used to the feeling of direct contact to your clit before guiding you like before.
"Ah- eddie! Again!- w-wan' more"
You whined from above him as you could feel your orgasm build up, your panties were now soaked seeping into the material and ruining his pants. luckily eddie enjoyed that he could feel your juices against him, pulling you down harsher he bucked his hips against yours pushing you over the edge refusing to stop even when you cried that you coudlnt take it.
"S'too much eddie stop! S'too much feels weird don' like it eddie dont like it"
"Ssshh-shut up- shut the fuck up- oh god fuck- take it for me c'mon fucking take- make me feel good baby-"
Eddie was in heaven right now and hed be damned if he let your overstimulation ruin it for him. he continued to use you for his own purpose soon flipping you over so you lay under him, thrusting against your clothed pussy which was now soaked and puffy from his abuse. The sight beneath him was a sight for sore eyes. youre face soaked with tears, drool coating your lips, a light bucking of your hips, it pushed him over the edge forcing him to cum in his pants like he was a virgin.
His head fell into the side of your neck as he prolonged his orgasm, your legs flinching as he grazed over your clit once more. Desperate for comfort you moved your face to muzzle the side of his head, he tilted your face and kissed your drool coated lips "did s'good for me baby, so so soo good" eddie pulled you up turning you around and pressed you back against his chest, one of his hands resting on your spine and the other in your hair.
When you woke up the next day you were none the wiser on why you were laying on top of eddie or why your thighs were so sticky, you barely remembered last night but you assumed it had been good because eddie was smiley the entire day
"Was last night good? I dont remember"
"Oh absolutely you were so high, you'll get a higher tolerance as you get used to it we can do this again if you want" almost as if god was on his side you agreed
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hugs2doie · 24 days
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hi !!! could u do a haech scenario based off round&round? i luv ur stuff sm !!!!!
round&round. — l.d.h
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PAIRING. haechan x gn!reader
GENRE. idk cutesy, js haechan being whipped ngl
WC. 491
NINI’S NOTE. haechan??? my ult?? with round&round??? one of my fave nct dongs rver??? u want me so bad anon.. AND I LOVE U TOOO. fid this at 3 am and i dont yhink its proofread… not v proud kf this but i jope u liekk it 💞💞 (turn on light mode for the banner to look prettier 😓)
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“smile a bit!” you had told haechan with a big smile of your own, as you were holding his phone up, ready to take a picture with him.
but if only it was so easy for haechan to stand close to you without feeling his heart beating faster than the speed of light.
his pretty brown eyes bore into yours in nervousness after you scolded him, but he nevertheless stood closer to you, and slowly threw up a peace sign and a small smile.
“say cheese!”
and just like that, the picture that he was looking at with the goofiest and biggest grin ever on his hand, was taken.
he wasn’t even looking at himself in the picture, he was looking at you.
you and your stupid smile that got him feeling like he’s a little boy who just got his first ever crush. you who made him feel like he was so close but so far away from you. you who made him scared to make the first move, because you’re just friends, what if you reject him? but also you, who makes him the happiest man with just throwing a glance on his way.
he wasted his time today again. and before he knows it, it’s 2:30 am.
2:30 am.
he’s been tossing and turning under his bed sheets for a while trying to sleep, yet both his heard and brain won’t let him. what is wrong with him? he simply wanted to have a nice night sleep, and not think about his stupid teenage-y boy crush on his friend, those were for kids anyways.
but no matter how hard he tried, thoughts of you just won’t leave him alone.
did he seriously have to be so pathetically in love with you? his friends have called him a loser multiple times ‘cause of this but he just can’t see why. i mean, it’s not like he’ll confess and then boom you’re dating! it’s more complicated than that, a lot more.
he just didn’t want to lose you. a simple confession between friends can ruin the whole friendship.
his overthinking was really eating him up this late at night.
you really were his everything. you were his sun and he was just the earth orbiting, and always wandering around you. he’d seek for you everywhere, but sometimes he’d think if you’d feel the same. i mean you have said a couple of “i love you”s, but those were just in the friendship way, right?
he needs you deeply. it’s like he’s a drug addict and you’re the drug.
at this point he’s surprised you haven’t figured out he likes you. the poor boy stutters and avoids eye contact with you all the time.
but he can’t help but be obvious when it comes to you.
he wasted his time yet again today,
but who knows,
maybe tomorrow he won’t.
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ghxstyfae · 2 months
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Cramping ♡ R.Cameron
Synopsis: Headcanons of Rafe × reader on her period with bad cramps (/endo/pcos/etc.)
Warnings: mentions of heavy bleeding, bad cramps, medications, possibilities of drug use, labelled nsfw section
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(Sfw)
Look, Rafe is an actual asshole and hes never really had to worry about any of his exes on their periods. He didnr care enough
But he legitimately loves you, and seeing you in pain breaks his heart.
At first it took some learning... "Kid, im sure its not that bad. Dont you all get this every month?"
But after seeing balled up in a *very* unusual positon, tears flowing freely, he starts doing anything in his power to help alleviate your pain.
He has a little container he puts out on his bathroom counter when you're on your period for pads/tampons/whatever u use
And another basket in his closet that has heating pads, midol (and other pain medications), chocolate and other snacks, and obviously extra boxes of any products you use.
If you are someone who has an extreamly heavy flow and bleed through things alot you dont need to be embarrassed w him.
He'll keep darker sheets for when your on your period and has no problem washing them and anything you need. "No worries Doll, i got a bubble bath in there, just go relax baby." 🫶����
If you find it helps with the pain, he'll offer weed. He loves getting you all high and brainless, especially when youre so anxious and emotional on your period, its easier to just let him think for you
Cuddles cuddles cuddles
"Let me rub the pain away baby"
Keeps the lights off and makes sure youre all snuggled up with some blankets, heating pads, an emotional support water bottle, and snacks if he needs to leave you alone
Which he probably wont too much throughout the cycle. I mean, if you want space he can leave the room?
Whenever someone else comments on how "overdramatic" hes being he gets so pissed.
Eventually this teaches him abt periods in general and hes able to help Wheezie out if need be
(Nsfw)
Would never be opposed to period sex. Hes a grown man (in his head smh) and doesnt mind getting messy, plus if you cumming will help with the pain, whos he to say no?
Speaking of cumming, you on your period and being in so much pain activates his breeding kink sfm...
"Come on Sweetheart, lemme fill you up. Gonna put my baby in your tummy, yeah? If i keep you full youll never have to deal with this again hm?"
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Miles 42 headcannons pls?
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EARTH 42 MILES MORALES HEADCANNONS
A/N: OK, I never usually write stuff like this so please correct me if I messed up on some stuff!
WARNING: I dont speak spanish so I will be using google translate, lol. However, if anyone is a translator and can help me out please do!
BE PREPARED FOR: POSSESIVENESS, BLOOD, VIOLENCE, LANGUAGE, HEAVY TOPICS (DRUGS GANGS, ETC), AND DARK+NONCHALANT MILES TELL ME IF I MISSED ANY.
Earth 42 Miles is definitely a nonchalant person in general. After his dad was taken away from him he feels like he has nothing left to say to anyone about anything. He definitely struggles in relationships with this character trait.
I like to believe he keeps girlfriends but doesn't keep the title of a player. I feel like he dates a ton of girls to fill the void of that missing love he got from his father...you know?
I also believe that most of his relationships fall out because he doesn't just swoon after the girl because like I said before he has a nonchalant behavior.
If he was to get a long-term girlfriend. He would get attached really quickly and most definitely would not play about her.
The more and more deeper yall get into the relationship the more and more possessive he gets.
He's really possessive because he feels like you will slip away from him. Like his dad did.
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Earth 42 Miles became the prowler because it is his way of acting out.
After his dad died, he slipped into a depressive episode that kept replaying, replaying & replaying. There's already enough stress on his mom with being a single parent, her job, and trying to keep the bills paid.
So him being a "bad" kid and getting into fights would not help her at all. So when Uncle Aaron introduced this job to him he was immediately in.
Killing these innocent people allows him to let out all his vexation on the city that brought his father to death.
He comes every night in bloody clothes, with purple bruises painting his brown complexion.
In all honesty, he's fucking miserable.
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Miles 42 definitely has the habit of speaking Spanglish.
Since he converses communication from his Mother to Uncle Aaron.
He definitely has A+ in Spanish. (LMFAOOOO i just thought this was funny to add in here)
Spanish is the language he speaks when he's angry
Like, for example when he's beating someone to death senselessly (im sorry i don't know how else to put this..)
He speaks Spanish in anger.
¿Dónde está el dinero, hijo de puta?
¡Deja de gritar antes de que te alimente a las ratas de la calle!
....He speaks very out of character when hes killing
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In all honesty if he had some free time on his hands he woud kill some actual bad people, like robbers,muggers, gangs...etc.
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But in my opinion he's just a kid whos trying to fill a void from his dead father and he just needs love!!
______________________________________________________________
IM SORRY IF THIS SUCKS AND IF ITS SHORT! I TRIED LOL
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ramons-elevator · 7 months
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As much as I want the eggs back, its gonna be so bittersweet.
We have people like Fit and Foolish who arent letting it get to them. They know their kids are gonna be okay. They will sit and wait and know things will fall into place when need be. Yes they are sad and mourning, but they need to keep a level head and be hopeful.
Then we have everyone else.
We have Bad who is actively hurting himself and doing stuff that will have consequences.
We have the favela 5 who are held with a thin but very strong string of hope. Forever is coming back from a drug overdose, but had to go through horrible things during it. Pac is also coming back down, but lost his soulmate and his home is haunted by things he has done. Mike is kidnapped and there's no trace or clue to where he is. Cellbit has to cure his friends and has the whole island relying on him while also investing the federation to try to figure out what their plan is. And Felps is Felps.
Phil is kidnapped all because he wanted an answer. He wants his kids back. Thats all he cares about. He was mindfucked seeing Chayanne's floatie in the middle of the circle.
Baghera just came back after finding out she was created by the Federation and that she might be the reason her family is stuck here. She also found out that she isnt the only experiment. There were more like her.
Etoiles is constantly fighting the Code and while he is winning and getting more powerful, he was given a task to protect. He already was ready to die for everyone, but now its something he has to do. No matter what.
Can you imagine the eggs coming back? The eggs, who have been for god knows how long, just want their parents and to feel safe come back to their parents who have changed.
Dapper and Pomme coming back to Bad who is littered in blue marks. Dapper knows what Bad has done. They know how much it hurts and how deep Bad's marks are. Pomme not quite understanding how bad it is, but she knows her dad isnt the same.
Richarlyson comes back and is engulfed in a giant hug, but he notices how badly everyone is shaking. He notices how broken his parents are. How tired and worn they all are. He notices how Pac has new scars on his arms. How quiet Forever is. How dull Cellbit's eyes are.
Chayanne and Tallulah coming back to see only Tubbo and Niki. Or they see Phil and engulfed in a giant hug and noticed how tight he holds them. They know Phil is paranoid, but never like this. He doesnt let go of them. His eyes never leave them for a second.
Pomme comes back to see Baghera crying they hug. Pomme can barely hear her mom saying "Im sorry" over and over again. Etoiles joins the hug and he tells her that he failed. He couldnt keep her safe. She has two lives, but now she is cracked.
The eggs just want to come home and feel safe, but now they dont know where safe is
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ethical-cain-vinnel · 7 months
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okay yall this is my first post so i apologize for the wonky formatting anywho this is what i think each Rory Culkin character would smell like inspired by a post from @icarus-star . (some characters do have x reader because thats all i read sorry not sorry🤭)
CHARLIE WALKER
okay so this dude is a loser (in the best way)
and losers love axe body spray
i think he always smells like he used an entire bottle of axe body spray each morning with a hint of old spice deodorant if hes feelin good
the real reason he uses so much i think though, is cause hes killed so much that he smells like blood no matter how many showers he takes
so his friends will tease him for it but he'll never stop using it
CHRIS KENTON
i think hes pretty aware of smells and is worried that he smells bad but he doesnt have a ton of money to spend
SO his solution is cheap cologne
dont get me wrong though, it smells nice. even comforting at times
sometimes he also smells like coffee (no reason as to why i think this, its just the vibe)
CLAY ROACH
ooooofff i love him but he STINKS
he smells like body odor, sweat, and sometimes other bodily fluids (ifykyk)
i think if/when he gets clean from all the drugs he does, he more so just smells like whatever deodorant he uses but its a very small hint of it
CLYDE
RAHHHHH I LOVE HIM
he uses sandalwood bodywash and matching shampoo and conditioner
but he also smells like weed
he smells heavenlyyyyyy
his deodorant is lavender old spice i take no criticism on this
DANNY COOPER
yall this man is a housewife
i dont think he really cared much about smelling good until he met you
now me PERSONALLY, i hate the smell of a lot of vanilla perfumes and stuff but he does smell like vanilla
but instead of vanilla perfumes, he smells like vanilla extract
or if he knows you guys will have a date that night, he ups his game and goes in with coconut coffee smelling stuff
EURONYMOUS
HE SMELLS SO BAD OMFG
this man smells like shit, piss, greasy hair, weed, alcohol, cigarettes, and every other BAD THING IN THIS WORLD
dont get me wrong babes i love rory's portrayal of him but LOOK AT HIM AND TELL ME IM WRONG!!! YOU FUCKING CANT
bro does NOT wash his ass😭😭😭
GABRIEL
i think he doesnt really smell like anything honestly
sometimes hell put on cologne but usually he just smells like soap
if you have a signature perfume or cologne though, hell douse his clothes in it because it brings him comfort (AHHHH I LOVE HIM SM)
JACK THURLOW
this man right here🤭🤭🤭 i love this man
he is so stuck up and prissy i love it
he smells sophisticated
he smells like a mixture of cigarettes, bergamot, patchouli, and sweet amber
and then he pretends its what he naturally smells like and gets mad when other people dont smell as good as him
KAPPA
at first i was going to say he smells pretty similar to euro but i started thinking about it more and i have come to the conclusion that this is not correct and heres why
hes a cult leader. charming, handsome, manipulative, and welcoming
he has to show that hes the best of the best and one way he does that is by smelling good
he smells comforting. like a warm, home cooked meal that you havent had since you were a kid
and this makes people feel more relaxed and comfortable around him which he uses to his advantage
thats it for now i hope yall liked it!
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silentiumdelirium · 3 months
Text
Steve is banging at the trailers door like his life is depending on it. After a few minutes a sleepy eddie opens the door, his eyes going big when he sees Steves face.
‚Whats up man you okay?‘
‚Uh yeah I just need to aks a favor‘ Steve says running a hand through his hair. Now that he‘s actually standing in front of Eddie he gets a bit nervous. He bites his lip and asks: ‚Uhm can I come in? Are you alone?‘
‚Uh yeah sure Waynes working.‘
Eddie steps aside and closes the door behind Steve who awkwardly stands in the living room like he never has been here.
Eddie looks at him chuckling. ‚Sure you okay?‘
Steve laughs to make the nerves go away, nod and shakes his hands out and after a few seconds decides to sit down.
‚Yeah sorry to just show up here but…‘
Eddie grins ‚no worries man you know you‘re always welcome. So what do you need? If its drugs I‘m sorry to disappoint but I just sold my last gram.
‚Uh no its not drugs. I wanted to ask If I can kiss you?‘
For a moment its completely silent then eddie laughs and looks at steve confused. ‚what?‘
‚yeah its well its for proofing robin something.‘
‚You got a bet going or something?‘
‚No not really more like a discussion. Like we talked about sexuality and I asked her how she knew she was gay and she said that she had a crush on a girl and also she kissed a guy and didn‘t like it and then I said well what if the guy was just a bad kisser and what if you still like guys like you like girls like how does she know she doesn‘t like both because you can do that aparently so she said she just knows but then I said kissing a guy and kissing a girl can‘t be that different like a mouth is a mouth right so I need to proof that to her.‘
Eddie looks at him for a moment completely baffeld by his rambles then stutters: ‚ By…by kissing me?‘
‚Well yeah you‘re my only male friend at the moment like besides the kids but I‘m obviously not gonna kiss a kid so yeah…‘
‚oh’
‚oh?‘
Eddie fidgets for a few seconds with his fingers then smiles shyly: ‚I just woke up I haven‘t even brushed my theeth like…‘
‚Doesn’t matter its just a kiss no big deal.‘
‚Like with tongue?‘
‚Yeah of course with tongue or else it doesnt count!‘
‚Oh okay. I… I dont know Steve…‘
Steve‘s confused for a second because he hasn‘t really seen Eddie being shy like this. Usually it‘s Eddie who‘s flirting with him or making fun of him but this seems to comptely throw him off. So Steve decided that this was probably a bad Idea and he really doesn‘t want to scare him off and lose him as a friend so he says:
‚Look if you don’t want to it’s alright of course you don’t have to…sorry that was a bad idea never mind.‘
‚No its fine Steve.‘
‚No I shouldn‘t have asked you this just because you’re my only male friend its no fair…‘
‚It’s okay Steve really it’s just…‘ Eddie laughs nervously ‚I‘ve never kissed anyone.‘
‚What?‘
‚Yeah I mean I‘ve never kissed anyone besides Chrissy in sixth grade but was just a short peck definitely without tongue so apparently it doesen’t count anyway I didn‘t really like it because you know gay and everything so yeah no I haven‘t kissed anyone since…‘
‚What?‘ Steve just looks at him completely thrown off. Eddie chuckles.
‚Why are you so surprised? I mean its not like Hawkins is crawling with gay people just available for kissing and also im like the town freak so it’s not like there’s a line of single men waiting outside to be kissed by me…‘ Eddie trails off a bit embarrased while Steve just contious to stare at him.
I’m sorry Eddie…‘ he starts saying but Eddie interrupts him. It‘s okay don’t worry it’s not like I‘m desperate or anything.‘
‚I can’t be your first kiss!‘
‚Why not?‘
‚Because it should be real and not just an experiment.‘
‚You know what why not? I mean you can probably also teach me a thing or two I mean you‘ve kissed loads and I mean I should train a little bit for that chance that a real kiss comes up right?‘
‚Right but…‘‘
‚Now c’mon Steve you have to kiss me now!‘
‚Okay are you sure Eddie?‘
‚Yeah sure let’s go!‘
Steve stands up and walks over to Eddie who has been standing at the kitchen counter the whole time and he takes his face in one hound and holds the other to the back of his head.
‚Ready?‘ Steve asks and suddenly he‘s so close that he can feel Eddie‘s breath on his skin. ‚Yeah’ Eddie whispers and gets closer both hands gripping the kitchen counter not daring to move an inch. Steve closes the gap between them and feels Eddie’s warm lips on his.
***
Part 2
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blackdragoness · 5 months
Text
PICK-A-CARD READING
IF YOU WERE A DRUG, WHAT DRUG WOULD YOU BE?
WHY DO PEOPLE BECOME “ADDICTED” TO YOUR ENERGY?
Do you give off ALCOHOLIC vibes, CRACKHEAD energy, OR STONER vibes?
**THIS IS PURELY FOR ENTERTAINMENT** I am not calling any of you addicts. Its just a game to have fun so just enjoy it for what it is: ENTERTAINMENT. I am not a professional and the advice given is based off my own personal experience with these addictions. I share what helped me free myself from these vices but I strongly recommend speaking with a professional that can help you better. Without further ado....
LESSSKOOOO
PICK A CARD:
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PILE 1: ACE OF HEARTS
If you chose pile 1, the vice that best describes your personality is:
***STONER***
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**** DISCLAIMER: I am not insinuating that you smoke alot of pot, even if that's true haha. I am not your doctor, pastor, therapist, parent, sibling, boss, the police, your parole officer, NONE OF THAT. So I dont care what you do on your own time. I am not condoning those actions either but at the same time, it’s your life and you can do whatever you want with it.****
Regardless of your personal choices, this is what it says about your personality:
Laid-back, chill AF – almost too laid back it can sometimes be mistaken for laziness – but at the same time, a lot of you reading this probably are lazy and already know that. Its not a roast, I’m just affirming what you already know LOL. Big couch potato energy. Very laxed. As contradictory as it sounds, this is actually why people become addicted to your energy. There isn’t a lot of people who have the chill factor that you have and being around you is like a break from the hustle and bustle of life.
The cool kid – the IT Boy/Girl. Everything you do is effortless
Iconic – does your own thing & known for not following the crowd
You guys have a mind of your own!
Unbothered – it is very hard to ruffle your feathers or get a reaction out of you. It is both an admirable and irritable trait depending on who you’re talking to. If not, you may just react to things very slowly and may find yourself hot and bothered after the fact
Very easy going and easy to talk to – you can chop it up with almost all personalities because you are very relatable and relaxed.
CLASS CLOWN VIBES - you may not take things too seriously and can find humor in anything! You say some funny shit man, and you aren’t even trying to be funny.
EFFORTLESS COMEDIAN.
Very witty and intelligent
You can hold a conversation with a variety of people. Whether its small talk or deep intellectual conversations.
People remember you for the conversations that they have with you and the energy that you bring to the conversation. You may not even realize the effect your words or energy have on people but it lingers on their mind and energy long after you have gone away. All a person needs is one “hit” of your energy.
Might be apart of the “woke” culture or many people would describe you as being “woke”
May be labeled an overthinker, borderline paranoid but also a very critical thinker. You may think about things that most people don’t think about. It may shock others how much you know about a variety of topics  
Very grounded and rooted in whatever it is that you do.
Natural beauties and very natural bodies.
“LOVE CHILD”
Hippy vibes
You have a reputation for always being in a good mood and always being happy for no reason. Its very rare that you are in a bad mood. It doesn’t mean that you don’t have those days. You just know how to guard your emotions and only let a small number of trusted people see your vulnerable side.
Y’all are A VIBE. Periodt. Point. Blank.
You can vibe with a crowd AND you can vibe all on your own. You could be both introverted and extroverted depending on your mood. Sometimes you might be in a corner on your own doing your own thing, other times you’re mingling with a variety of different people. Just depends on your mood.
You probably have lots of conversations with your self all the time. People might think you’re a little weird for that but you might find it funny
Very unique and one of a kind
You might have your own distinct smell. Maybe you have a certain perfume/cologne that you use all the time that people know you for. OR maybe you just stink and smell like body odor. It can be either one of those two extremes LOL (Smokers LOVE the smell of weed, nonsmokers tend to strongly DESPISE the smell of weed so it goes both ways. Don’t shoot the messenger HAHA)
May have a love for music or be very musically inclined
Lyricist, journalist, writer/author - may be very good at articulating your thoughts and emotions but you may mumble or speak softly.
Every moment with you is a HIGH moment – by “high”, I mean when people see you, even if the interaction is short, its most often the HIGHlight of peoples day.
Everyones BUDdy
Wall FLOWER vibes
May be looked at as slightly ditzy
ADVICE:
Tap into your creativity more. This pile has the creative abilities, if improved and mastered, can be monetized on greatly.
Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there and to stand out.
If you struggle with overthinking, it means you aren’t taking enough action. Start moving and putting your amazing thoughts into action so you can manifest the life you dream about all the time. Mistakes are inevitable and part of the growing process so don’t be afraid to make mistakes or make a fool out of yourself. That’s how you learn. The longer you sit on your ideas, the easier it is for doubtful thoughts to creep in which in turn will stop you from taking any type of action. It is time to take action and slow down the voices in your head telling you that you aren’t enough.
Believe in yourself more and learn to love yourself for all your flaws. Your biggest critic and your biggest competition should always be yourself so build yourself up more. Quit the negative self talk. Critique yourself towards improvement but not to the point of giving up. You’re more than you give yourself credit for.
Be more comfortable speaking your mind in the moment instead of bottling everything up all the time. You only end up beating yourself up in the end and it slows down your progress.
If you are addicted to the drug, my advice is to take a break from it for a bit so you can start being active again in your own life. You don't have to quit cold turkey. Take it one day at a time but the wheels will start moving for you soon as you make that change. Too much of anything, even if it's good for you, can eventually start to work against you. But it's your life. If you can find that balance while still keeping it in your life, more power to ya! 😊
CHANNELED SONG:
MOVING ABOUT MY WAYS by Josh Wawa White
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PILE 2: ACE OF CLUBS
If you chose pile 2, the vice that best describes your personality is:
***ALCOHOLIC***
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**** DISCLAIMER: I am not insinuating that you drink a lot of alcohol, even if that's true haha. I am not your doctor, pastor, therapist, parent, sibling, boss, the police, your parole officer, NONE OF THAT. So I don’t care what you do on your own time. I am not condoning those actions either but at the same time, it’s your life and you can do whatever you want with it.****
Regardless of your personal choices, this is what it says about your personality:
BIG GOOFBALL ENERGYYYY
Very energetic and MAFANA (pronounced “mah-fah-nah” meaning “heated” in the Tongan language). You might always be MAFANA and ready to do anything at any moment. Also you might literally be MAFANA in body temperature. Might have a warmer body temperature or may always be hot even in colder temperatures. May enjoy very hot showers as well.
Extremely physically attractive. Sexy and sultry type of aesthetic
Very seductive mannerisms and voice
Very spontaneous and slightly chaotic
You might speak in slang a lot – doesn’t matter the slang, but you have your own way of speaking
People would probably describe you as being very bold and confident. You aren’t afraid to say what’s on your mind and you don’t care who hears.
True to yourself
Very genuine and authentic in all your interactions
You’re probably sociable and outgoing
Extremely outgoing – very rarely are you ever alone. You always have a crowd of people surrounding you or with you.
You have your own unique sense of style and fashion taste. People know and recognize you for your fashion sense. It’s just very……YOU.
Brutally honest but honest nonetheless – people may avoid you because of how honest you can be. But people know when they really need an honest opinion, you are the first person to come to mind.
People may describe you as having multiple personalities. It can be both a good thing or a bad thing depending on who you are talking to. One things for sure, getting to know you is NEVER a bore.
Never a dull moment when you are around
LIFE OF THE PARTY
You are the person everyone hopes to see at an event or a party because they know it will be a fun time if you are around.
Very confident – ALPHA vibes – BOSS energy
You may be everyone’s “go-to” person when they need to vent or get things off their chest. Interacting with you is like a glass of wine at the end of a really rough day. If it was a really tough day, you’re more like 3 shots of Henney instead of wine, lets be honest.
You have a “numbing” effect on people – interacting with you is like nothing else matters but the present moment. You’re a very rare type of person
You are the person to impress! Every room you walk into and every person you interact with, you are the center of attention & people will do anything to get your attention praise, & validation.
Not only are you the person to impress, you are also a very impressive person. You impress through your looks, your skills, your intellect, etc – ALL AROUND impressive
You are very expressive, blunt, and outspoken. You say whatever is at the top of your mind and react to everything based off of your emotions in the moment.
May at times be very moody
Night owls
Kareoke King/Queen
Shameless
No one ever knows what to expect with you. You keep everyone on their toes
Maybe a bit clumsy and silly but thats why people love your energy. Its giving "overgrown child" vibes and its refreshing.
You help heal alot of peoples inner child just by being yourself. You bring that young vibe to any occasion.
ADVICE:
Take more time for yourself and away from the noise and the audience. I sense that you don’t enjoy being alone because that is when the dark thoughts creep in. Maybe you dislike feeling lonely. Get more comfortable with being on your own and in your own energy. Sort out those dark thoughts. Try to figure out where the darkness originated from and learn to heal it. It will improve your social interactions greatly.
Learn to enjoy silence. A lot of positive ideas, peace, and self discovery can be found in the silence.
Your greatest strength is your outspokenness. However, by remaining silent, you can avoid a lot of regret for yourself. You can also learn a lot about others simply by listening and remaining silent. Stay outspoken, but add silence into your personality every now and then to bring more balance to your character
SLOW DOWN - in all areas! Speak slower, walk slower, think slower, react slower, develop relationships slower, etc. You may start many things very quickly and burn out just as fast. Learn to pace yourself and develop your mental/physical stamina
If you are addicted to the alcohol, my advice would be to find a healthier hobby to substitute that vice. Exercise helps with regulating your emotions as well as a healthy eating plan. Get more sleep and start journaling. Having an outlet to really pour out your emotions will keep you from pouring another cup. Take it one day at a time, but the wheels will start rolling for you once you make that change. But it's your life, do as you please! If you can find that balance in your life, more power to ya!
CHANNELED SONGS: ALCOHOLIC by COMMON KINGS
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PILE 3: ACE OF DIAMONDS
If you chose pile 1, the vice that best describes your personality is:
***CRACKHEAD***
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**** DISCLAIMER: I am not insinuating that you’re a meth/coke head, even if that's true haha. I am not your doctor, pastor, therapist, parent, sibling, boss, the police, your parole officer, NONE OF THAT. So I dont care what you do on your own time. I am not condoning those actions either but its your life and you can do whatever you want with it.****
Regardless of your personal choices, this is what it says about your personality:
The most energetic of all the piles
CEO/Supervisor energy
Very focused and determined to accomplish anything you set your mind to. You are willing to start things over as many times as you need until you get it right.
You may have an addictive personality but also others may find your personality very addicting as well. Once someone has tasted your energy, its very hard to shake you.
People may become very obsessed with you. You circle peoples minds multiple times a day. They just cant figure you out. You may also be very obsessive and possessive yourself.
FOCUSED. FOCUSED. FOCUSED, Extremely focused individuals. Your focus is probably your most admirable trait.
As focused as you are, you are also probably a very great multitasker
Entrepreneurs or entrepreneurs in the making. You may be very business minded
You are usually always 10 steps ahead of the game. You see all sides and make very calculated moves based off of your observations.
Very observant individuals. You probably notice and remember the tiniest details about people and you know how to make people feel really special in every interaction with you. People don’t expect you to remember certain things they’ve mentioned or worn, but when you bring it up to them long after the fact, you really make people feel SEEN & HEARD. This makes you more trustworthy in their eyes.
May be accused of being narcissistic but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. You may have been a victim to narcissistic abuse in the past so you’ve learned the ins and outs of all the mind games being played. So when someone uses a mind game on you, you flip it back on them and then they have the audacity to call YOU the narcissist. It has become your tool for self defense but also agitates those on the receiving end of your narcissism. To put it into perspective, most super heros and world leaders are narcissistic because they need to be. If not, they would get chewed up and spit out by the world and wouldn’t last a day in their position. If they wanna call you a narcissist because you refuse to adopt their mindset or their perspective, then so be it! Accept the title and keep it pushing. Remain true to yourself.
Very self-reliant and reliable. You conquer every task and assignment thrown at you and you do an amazing job at it in a very time efficient manner. People may try to discredit you or say you couldn’t have done it all by yourself but the proof is in the pudding darling. In reality, these folks are just projecting their own insecurities on to you because we all know, if they were in your position, there is no way they could have done that on their own. No one can deny your workmanship because you prove it time and time again.
Lone wolf vibes. You may not have many friends or you may not be open to inviting new people into your circle. “NO NEW FRIENDS” vibes
You probably have a sturdy set of friends and you’ve known them for a long time.
Very secretive and private. You may enjoy your privacy and may tend to keep a lot of your life hidden from the public eye.
Very protective of your energy and your space.
May have a lot of people who constantly have an opinion on your life. You do a great job at blocking them and their noise out of the way and continuing to push along.
STRONG STAMINA – yall can last for a lonnnngggg time (however you interpret that LOL)
Great debater – if someone wants to come at you sideways, they better come prepared with their arguments because going against you isn’t easy. You know yourself, you know your facts and you know what happened. Barely nothing gets past you.
Out of all the piles, this pile has the most haters. I don’t know why and neither do you. You must be someone of significance to have this many haters. You represent PRESSURE and people feel that energy as soon as you walk into the room. This is a compliment for you but a threat to your haters. No one wants to feel pressured to improve. You don’t try to apply pressure. You just ARE pressure.
You cant be tamed. Very hard to lock down and hard to pin down.
Unbeatable
Invincible
Immunity
Misjudged and misunderstood but never stops remaining true to yourself. Let the haters do their thing but keep doing you booboo.
Diamond in the rough
Might wear a lot of jewelry or you should wear more jewelry but this is something people notice about you. Maybe you have tons of jewelry or you have a piece of jewelry that people remember you for. If not, I suggest wearing more jewelry because it looks great on you.
ADVICE
Learn to handle the pressure that comes your way. You attract what you put out there and unfortunately, this is one of those things that is out of your control. People feel pressured when you are around therefore, you may feel as though pressure is constantly being applied to you. Don’t sweat it. These experiences are to show you how strong your character truly is but you must remain true to who you are if you want it to work in your favor.
Its okay to be more open and available to others. You can still maintain your strong boundaries but you don’t have to shut the entire world out. Remain open!
Keeping an open mind may also be helpful for you. Not everything will play out the way you envisioned it in your brain so keep an open mind so you can solve your problems as they arise.
Take some time to relax. You give off very strong workaholic vibes and sometimes you can overwork yourself to exhaustion. Give your body the rest it needs through sleep. Remember to eat throughout the day and fill your body up with the nutrients it needs to keep you going and alert for your various tasks. Go outside and enjoy the outdoors. Take time to care for yourself.
 Learn to lighten up a little. Your laser focus can sometimes make you too serious to be around. Laugh a little. Smile more. Let loose. Enjoy the life in front of you. Balance out your work and play and you’ll find your life is more enjoyable that way.
If you are addicted to the drug, my advice would be to invest in yourself more. You won't have the money to spend on drugs if you throw your money into something that will benefit you more in the long run. Take a class to build on a skill you already have, sign up for a committee, give yourself responsibility and bring purpose back into your life. But start small. Learn to depend on yourself and hold yourself up before trying to overextend yourself for others. Too much responsibility is probably what got you to this point or maybe it was the lack thereof. Whatever the case be, you need to love on yourself more & know that you are more than enough. The wheels will start moving for you once you make that change and the clarity that follows will bring you immense joy.
CHANNELED SONG: WINNAH WINNAH by RIA ft SPAWNBREEZIE
youtube
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uuuuuugh0-0 · 3 months
Text
Harm reduction is literally just the idea that drug users should get to pick and choose any and all medical options applicable to their situation, from having your choice of tools to side effect mitigation and more. We have this term because 1) the state actively prevents people from doing this in order to justify the war on drugs and 2) the dominant western medical conceptualization of addiction (which was formed around, because of and informed by prohibitionist philosophies and the effects of the war on drugs) is counterproductive to many people increasing their quality of life and reducing risk of death--we use it to assert that making choices that carry risk does not have to be black-or-white, that all risk is gradient and steps can be taken at any level, and "do drugs and die/be miserable, or dont" is a false dichotomy constructed and imposed by prohibitionist policy. At its core its literally just people who face very specific forms of medical neglect and marginalization saying "hey, I don't want to see people I know be hurt and die anymore so let's band together and use tools that will improve our quality of life in direct opposition to artificially imposed risk". It has nothing to do with shifting around who's hurting or choosing the "better" of two bad options. It's just fucking healthcare.
Seeing the term be applied over and over again to mean "better them than me" & the like by liberals who would torture the fucking Omelas kid is so fucked.
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craycraybluejay · 3 months
Text
apparently it is morally wrong to have a crush/sexual feelings for anyone in general. Like. the whole 'dont sexualize literal people ewwww.' i really really wish less teens were on the internet because of this kind of stuff. we are mass-producing mental illness and i am not kidding.
like imagine being 15, having a crush on someone in your class, going on the internet, and being bombarded with all sorts of people saying its wrong to experience sexual thoughts towards people in your peer group. its wrong for adults to have sexual thoughts about other adults. its even more wrong for you, a teen, to have sexual thoughts about your classmates.
you are 16 now and very lucky to be in therapy with a well off enough family. you confess to your therapist how evil you are for wanting to touch or look at that one girl in your class. she looks at you with confusion, like how your mother looks at you when you ask her why you have a computer and your friend doesn't. why is it fair. everyone's confused about you and you are confused too. you're evil, you must be, because you have dirty disgusting feelings. you deserve to be mocked online, says dogluvr15089. you're an evil monster, says @Official Priest of West California. you're a pervert and sexual predator, says fandom_m0m321. they have stupid names and no faces-- but if all of them are saying it then it must have some truth to it, right? your therapist is saying something but you don't hear her, you're in your head wondering if you should punish yourself, how you should punish yourself. when you're back in the room with her you ask her what's wrong with you. she writes you a diagnosis for ocd and anxiety. you take the drugs, like the good, righteous, pure teenager you want to be. they make you feel weirdly empty, and not very hungry, and kinda sleepy. they might give you dementia in your 50s but who cares. you deserve it for being gross. you look through the comments even on other people's stuff, the comments telling them the same thing you were told. you're still punishing yourself for natural feelings-- seeking out the same degrading bullying when you don't get enough of it. you don't tell your therapist you are doing this; because you know she would tell you to stop and you don't want to stop. it's a compulsion. you talked about those last Tuesday.
you're 17. you haven't asked anyone out. by some miracle, a girl who likes you takes the initiative. you stumble through the date awkwardly and anxiously, trying not to touch her, flinching away when your fingers brush over a cheap burger. she asks if you're okay, and then asks, "don't you like me?" She asks, "why do you look like you're scared of me or something?" You stay silent. But then when it happens again, she gets up to leave and the rejection causes the dam to break. You try not to cry, because that's Emotional Manipulation. You choose your words carefully, because you don't want to accidentally Gaslight her like the evil thing you are. You stumble through it but you tell her you're sorry, you tell her you've never had the chance to date. You tell her, shaking like a leaf, like a dumb idiot, that you really really like her and she's very pretty and you're scared to say Hot or Sexy so you don't. And you tell her you're scared. You're really scared she'll see you're a bad person and leave you for someone more pure and good. You try really hard to phrase it like a PR team would. She tells you that's ridiculous, laughing like sunshine and kisses and god, sex. But most of all you've never heard someone so flippantly tell you how ridiculous of a notion that is. She makes you feel brave. You tell her what people have been telling you, scared that you're Trauma Bonding her but pushing through. She, with more surprise, again tells you it's ridiculous. She's not laughing anymore, but you want to make her laugh. You ask with a voice too small for your age if its okay you think her laugh is really sexy. She smiles so brightly its blinding, and says she thinks you're sexy too. You hold hands when you leave together. You go on more dates later, and the two of you talk about your problems and your dreams. And she shows you how to yell at "internet dumbasses." And you still go to therapy except this time you think it's working, because this time you Get It. You get it's ridiculous, and you're happy enough to try to heal.
And you know what? You're one of the lucky few that got that chance. Many teens struggle with mental health problems due to the internet. Not all of them are caused by this purity bullshit. Some of it is body image-- accounts that encourage eating disorders and low self-esteem. Some of it is trends and feeling lonely and unlikeable. Social media doesn't just excaberate mental illness. Sometimes it really and truly produces it and this fact needs more awareness.
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The AIB Boys as Toxic Boyfriends
Notes: NSFW - MDI - Abuse - This is not love - Mentions of drugs and alcohol - Manipulation - Corruption - NON/CON -
Includes: Chishiya - Arisu - Banda Sunato - Tatta - Karube -
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♤ Chishiya
As a toxic boyfriend Chishiya is manipulative and insensitive. He will use hard words on you, no filter at all. He also believes a woman should stay home and just be a mother. He has seen women working and on his words "it makes them whores".
His Manipulation is completly mental, he wont land a hand on you ever. But he knows tricks to keep you back and in check. I said he would use hard words on you, well he would also compliment you when you do something he wants you to do.
Like, make dinner for him. Because you are the woman of the house. First time you do it without him having to tell you he will praise you making your heart go fast and feel like the first time you two met.
If he sees that you are not 100% commited to stay with him then he will fuck a baby into you. Does not matter if you dont want one, he will take away your anticonceptive pills and tell you how he keeps forgetting to use a condom.
♤ Arisu
He wants someone who supports him. But to a degree where if you are not by his side or responding to him in second he goes berserk. Needs to know where you are all the time. If he is at college he must know where you are. May put a track on your phone just to be sure. Or may have to use his father influence and make you end in his college with the same classes as him.
If you want to go out alone forget it he is making himself part of your group of Friends (who believes he is nothing but a sweetheart).
Game nights will end being your friday nights the catch? You must be watching him play. So no, you cant have your phone with you while he plays. Will make you sit on his lap to be sure you are seeing and telling you to see how good he is at this.
Arisu is also insecure when it comes to sex, gets shy and flustered....and that ends making him jerk while you sleep besides him or him drugging you to fuck you while you sleep.
♤ Banda Sunato
Banda is a red flag. He may be the most toxic one. From not letting you out of the house to use you as his fuck toy.
He will break you slowly, liking how you put up a fight against him. However, he has not patience at all, first week and you are already with cuts. You will soon find out he loves knifes outside and inside the bedroom.
He also will insolate you, forcing you to end friendships and telling you how your family is bad for you. If you dont coperate with him then a punishment will come. It may be physical or mental but after a few of them you have just his contact info in your phone.
Knows your password, forget about privacy. He also ends knowing your period circle, because he is a nasty bastard and likes to fuck you when you are bleeding. Laughts when you tell him its nasty, you are so silly.
♤ Tatta
Tatta is sweet....to sweet. He does not have lots of free time so when he has it he is with you all the time. Its not like Arisu, he cant force you to be at work with him so his resolution may be sweet talking you into forming a family with him.
Oh, are you worried because you two are young and your economic situation its not the best? Dont worry darling, just keep drinking your wine while I explain you how I have everything prepared (no he does not).
Yes, would totally brainwash you to accept it. Once he gets you pregnant he is making sure you dont plan on leaving him alone.
If you were never against the idea no one will think its odd however if you have said you did not want kids and then suddendly you have one....people will ask questions.
♤ Karube
Karube its a physical one. He does not like seeing you with bruises from him but sometimes you just cant seem to keep you mouth close. Why dont you chocke on his dick instead or starting a fight because you want to break up with him?
Honestly, the relationship started as a one night stand and then you kept coming for more. Till Karube felt it was natural to have you by his side for his use (so no, he never loved you) and manipulated you into staying with him.
You are his stress relief and he knows how shit your other relationships are outside him so he is sure you wont be running away from him and even if you do, you will come back to him.
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