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themaladaptivewriter12 · 2 months

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Title: Break

Part 6 of my “Cray-Cray for Cater” series! Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, and Part 5 can be found here!

Parings: Cater Diamond x Twisted Wonderland Male OC (Mirai Yuhara)

Summary:

With fall break finally here, Mirai is once again reminded of his place within this world. But maybe, just maybe, it won't be that bad after all?

cw: Kinda spicy? Nothing explicit but I wanna just throw that out there. Biting, love bites, heavy kissing, literal sleeping together. Let me know if the rating should change.

a/n: I don't hate Cater's family, but I'm going for this medium between them trying to fix their behavior towards each other, but it's like, not enough. They are such a grey area for us, yet so impactful on Cater's character.

Reblogs are appreciated, just use my custom tag, #TheMaladaptiveWriter12, if you do! (─‿‿─)♡

Cross posted from my Ao3: TheMaladaptiveWriter12

It was fall break at Night Raven College and because of that, everyone was going home for a week. Mirai was kinda bummed about that, not that he really missed home that much, but things like that really made him remember how much of an outsider he really was, how much he didn’t belong there at Night Raven College. He didn’t have a place to call his own. No house to go back to, no friends, no family, absolutely nothing. All he had was Ramshackle, but even that was superficial. He could lose it all at the very whim of their oh so “benevolent” Headmage, or when he eventually had to “graduate” from Night Raven College. Then where would he be? He couldn’t stay here forever. He’d be way too old to even live on campus, it would be just plain weird, and worse case scenario, he’d have to stay there forever and become the college campus legend. “Student of Night Raven College that never left” they’d say. He’d eventually grow old and die in the Ramshackle Dorm and become one of the ghosts, haunting the Dorm forevermore. Okay, maybe that was a stretch, but Mirai was too deep in his head to use common sense.

And if he did leave, where would he be able to go? Where would he live? How would he even survive in a world totally different from his own? Just the very thought of that was beginning to stress Mirai out as he wandered the dorm, alone. Even Grim left, not even telling Mirai where he was going, Mirai just hoped that the little monster cat didn’t stay out too late. Grim came in and out as he pleased, getting food, and going to sleep where he saw fit, but then he was out again. And when Mirai asked what he was up to, he wouldn’t say. All he said was that he was on a “mission to greaten his magic prowess,” whatever that meant. Mirai couldn’t phantom what the cat was up to, but he hoped he wasn’t getting into any trouble, that was the last thing Mirai needed.

Mirai sighed to himself as he made his way back to the lounge. He had cleaned thoroughly, washing the bed linen, washing his clothes, dusting, sweeping, mopping, and he even maintained the outside of the dorm for once. He cut the grass, weeded the garden, and watered the plants. He washed the windows, cleaned the rain gutters, swept the stairs, raked the leaves, and even maintained the gargoyles exactly how Malleus taught him to do. Of course all of that took a while to complete, three days to be exact, but he still had about a week of loneliness to go.

If this had been a few months ago, this loneliness wouldn’t have bothered him one bit. He’d be back in America, working from sunup to sundown, eating takeout, catching a late night showing on tv before going to sleep, wherever that was, and then repeating the dull, life draining process in the morning. A few months ago he wouldn’t have missed the hustle and bustle of the college, he wouldn’t had missed Ace and Deuce’s bickering, Riddle’s rule enforcing rampages, Azul’s food at Mostro Lounge, Ruggie’s snickering as he messed with Leona, Kalim’s joyous attitude, Rook’s dramatic way of speaking, Ortho’s childlike wonder, and or Malleus’ random visits. Of course he wouldn’t have missed any of this a few months ago, he wouldn’t have known any better, but now? It was a heavy cloud over his head, and a heavy weight on his shoulders and heart.

And mostly, Mirai missed Cater. He missed Cater’s Magicam photoshoots, Cater’s playful demeanor, and their late night talks. He missed Cater’s hugs, his kisses, the doting nature Cater had when it came to him, he missed everything about Cater. Mirai was berating himself for acting like a lovesick puppy. He could handle not being with his boyfriend for more than two days, but Mirai supposed it was due to the fact he knew that the redhead wouldn’t be back for another seven days.

Mirai grumbled around his leftover spaghetti, sighing as he checked his phone for any messages from his friends, there were none. Cater had promised to call him to check up on him, all of the guys did, knowing his situation, but not one of them did, well, not yet at least. And Mirai really didn’t want to call them, he didn’t want to be a bother while they all were trying to enjoy their break with their families, and especially not just for something trivial as small talk. But Mirai couldn’t help but feel sad and angry. Sad and angry that the guys had forgotten about him, but also sad and angry at himself for even feeling that way. He felt clingy, and he suspected that it was because he knew, in reality, that he truly was alone. Mirai sighed again as he checked Cater’s Magicam page. Cater hadn’t even posted, which surprised Mirai. Cater posted about everything, no matter how small it was. He was hoping to see a little more of his boyfriend’s life, and if not, then just hear his voice through a post or see a more recent picture of his face.

Mirai got up from the kitchen table and put his bowl in the sink, not even bothering to clean it like he usually did, but he did have half the mind to rinse it first. Dragging his feet as he shut off all the lights, Mirai made his way upstairs for the night. A depressing mood hung over him like a fog as he showered, brushed his teeth, and changed into his pajamas, taking off his prosthetic, and by the time Mirai was plugging in his phone and crawling into bed, he was biting his lip, trying to stop the tears that threatened to fall. Mirai threw himself into his pillow, pulling his blanket over himself as sobs escaped his lips, chest heaving. He was lonely and he hated it, hated being so weak and clingy, hated the fact that he felt like this and he couldn’t fix it. He wanted a hug, he wanted someone to talk to, he wanted Cater.

Mirai didn’t know when he had fallen asleep, but woke up to his phone blaring on his bedside table. His pillow was wet, a huge dark spot where his head lay, his eyes stung, burning from crying before he fell asleep, and his eyelids lids stuck together from his dried tears. Mirai wiped his eyes, reaching for his phone. The time read three in the morning, it was nowhere near the time for him to get up. So why was his phone going off? Mirai checked his notifications, heart skipping as he read that he had three missed calls from Cater, one not even five minutes ago. Why would Cater be calling him so late? Maybe there was a time difference between the Shaftlands and Night Raven College? But even still, Cater should know that, so why would he call so late into the night? Mirai was debating if he should call back or just wait until the morning when his phone rang again. Mirai quickly swiped right, putting the phone to his ear, answering.

“Hello?” Mirai called, flinching at how raspy his voice sounded from crying and sleep.

“Hey Mi-Mi,” Cater greeted, sounding guilty, “I woke you up, didn’t I?”

“It’s okay,” Mirai reassured, clearing his throat a little, “I don’t mind.”

He really didn’t. Mirai couldn’t describe the relief he felt just from hearing Cater’s voice. He’d wake up any day at any time to talk to Cater. He was so happy that he almost wanted to cry again, but he refused, his eyes already burning from earlier.

“S-So what’s up?” Cater asked, “How’s your break been?”

Cater was being weird, but Mirai ignored it for now, going along with what Cater was trying to hide. “I did a whole bunch of cleaning,” Mirai sighed into the phone, “My body hurts so bad, I might as well have been taking supplementary lessons from Coach Vargas.”

Cater chuckled, his laugh sound too stressed, too dry to be truly genuine, “You poor thing. You should be relaxing, not working yourself so hard. We’re on break after all.”

“Might as well get it out the way now rather than later. But now I have the whole week to relax.”

“That’s good. Don’t work yourself too hard, ‘kay?”

“Mn,” Mirai hummed.

There was silence, neither of them saying anything for a long while.

“So,” Mirai started, “Is there like a time difference between here and the Shaftlands? ‘Cus it’s three in the morning.”

“O-Oh, yeah. A little,” Cater stuttered, “I must be ruining your sleep. I-I’ll, I’ll call you later, yeah?”

“Cater?”

“‘Sup?”

“What’s wrong?” Mirai asked, done pretending that he didn’t notice his boyfriend's mood.

“I-I-I don’t, I’m not, I-”

“Cater? What’s wrong?” Mirai asked firmly.

“I’m, I’m outside,” Cater whispered.

“What?!”

Mirai dropped his phone, rushing out of bed, not caring that he was only in one of Cater’s shirts and a pair of cotton boxers. Mirai twisted the lock and ripped the door open, looking around until his green eyes finally found Cater’s curled form sitting next to the door. Cater looked up from where his phone was on the ground next to him, eyes meeting Mirai’s as he forced a smile.

“Cater,” Marai gasped.

“H-Hey, Babe,” Cater stuttered.

“C’mere,” Mirai breathed, “C’mere.”

Cater staggered as he got up, ending the call and pocketing his phone to grab his luggage. Mirai let Cater in, and just as he shut the door, twisting the lock back in place, Cater was pulling the Ramshackle Prefect into his arms, squeezing him in a desperate embrace.

“Oh Cater, you’re cold,” Mirai sighed softly.

“I-I’m fine,” Cater whispered, shivering, voice sounding broken.

“Come sit, come sit.”

Mirai pulled Cater to the lounge, turning on one of the lamps and he sat Cater down. As Mirai pulled away, Cater grabbed his wrist in a desperate attempt to keep him close.

“Please don’t go,” Cater begged, “Please.”

Mirai got a good look at Cater and his heart shattered. His usual cheerful face was sullen, dark bags under red rimmed eyes that were void of their usual brightness. His smile was replaced with a deep frown, he looked miserable.

“C’mon,” Mirai said, forgoing his thoughts on tea. Clearly it wasn’t what Cater needed at the moment.

Cater grabbed his things, shutting off the lights, following Mirai up to his room.

“Make yourself at home,” Mirai said, turning on the heat.

Cater nodded, grabbing some clothes to change into and entered the bathroom. Mirai waited, nervous energy building up inside him. He had so many questions, but knew he had to take everything slowly, one step at a time, lest he wanted to overwhelm Cater, who already looked to be on the verge of a breakdown. Cater excited the bathroom, clad in his pajamas. He looked nervous like he didn’t know what to do with himself, teetering back and forth on his feet.

“Come sit,” Mirai beckoned.

Cater stuffed his clothes away and sat on the bed. He didn’t say anything, he just stared into the dim corner of the room like it held all the world's answers. Mirai didn’t know what to do, what to say, but he was gonna try.

“Hey,” Mirai said softly, sitting on the bed next to Cater, “We can do whatever you want to do.”

Cater nodded slowly, still not looking Mirai’s way.

They sat shoulder to shoulder, and Mirai grabbed Cater’s hand, lacing their fingers together. He wanted to give Cater a chance to speak, to say anything. Even if it was one of the stupidest things Mirai would ever hear in his life, he would wait. But when their silence dragged on too long, Mirai knew he had to take it step by step.

“Do you wanna talk now, or sleep?” Mirai asked after some time.

“Sleep,” Cater croaked out, “please.”

“Okay, we can do that.”

Mirai crawled up to the top of the bed, flipping his tear stained pillow over, and pulled back the cover to let him in. Cater crawled up next to him and scooted under the covers, pulling them over himself. Mirai scooted closer, slowly wrapping his arm around the older male, giving him a chance to pull back if he wanted to. He didn’t. Cater accepted the cuddle, pulling Mirai closer, pressing his face into Mirai’s chest.

“Sweet dreams, Cater,” Mirai whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of Cater’s head.

Cater didn’t respond as he pressed himself further into Mirai’s embrace.

Mirai woke up, the sun blaring through the curtains of his floor to ceiling windows. Mirai groaned, hiding his face into his pillow, but instead, his nose was filled with ticklish strands of orange hair. Mirai reeled back, nose tingling with a sneeze. Once the tingling stopped, Mirai looked down, and giggled. Sometime that night, Mirai and Cater rolled over, and now Cater was hugging a pillow as Mirai held him. Mirai found the sight amusing. But then again, there was something about holding Cater like this that made Mirai’s heart warm. Mirai wanted to be someone Cater could lean on when he needed to, and as sappy as it sounded, he sometimes wanted to protect the older male from the harshness of the world, taking the damage for him like a shield. He knew he really couldn’t do that, since everyone had their own wars to fight, but that also didn’t mean either of them didn’t have to do so alone. So just holding Cater like this was enough.

Mirai reached up and pulled Cater’s hair out of his face and behind his ear, pressing a chaste kiss to the back of his head. Mirai would lie here as long as he had until Cater woke, he didn’t mind one bit. Mirai began carding his fingers through Cater’s hair softly, pulling thick orange strands back against his head, blunt fingernails scratching at his scalp.

“Mn, that feels good,” Cater sighed, voice raspy from sleep.

Mirai chuckled, “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Did I wake you?”

“No.”

There was silence after that, and both of them didn’t know how to break it. Mirai tried to peer over at Cater’s face, but he couldn’t, not without jostling them from their comfortable position.

“You hungry?” Mirai asked after some time.

“Mn.”

“How about you go shower and I go make breakfast? How do omelets and pancakes sound?” Mirai asked.

Cater just nodded, yawning into his pillow.

“Okay.”

Mirai scooted backwards, releasing Cater from his embrace, and Cater immediately turned around, chasing after the Ramshackle Prefect. Mirai entered the bathroom to brush his teeth, and Cater followed doing the same, the both of them standing shoulder to shoulder. They both looked a mess. Their eyes were tired and puffy, lined with sleep, their faces were red, marked from their pillows, and their hair tangled and all over the place. Mirai laughed, trying not to spit toothpaste on the mirror as they fought for sink space. Cater nudged him with his elbow and Mirai nudged him back. Cater chuckled around his toothbrush, bumping Mirai back with his shoulder. They were being childish, they both knew, but they didn’t care, the mood definitely better than last night.

Mirai washed his face, scrubbing at his skin, ridding himself of the night's filth. Mirai blindly reached for his towel, drying his face, and when he checked his appearance in the mirror, looking for any residue soap, he caught Cater’s reflection. He was standing behind him in nothing but his black cotton boxers as he turned on the shower faucet. Mirai’s green eyes raked over Cater’s lean body, his thin waist, his smooth skin, his soft muscle. Mirai looked up and over his shoulders, to his neck, and face, where he met Cater’s green eyes staring back at him, a knowing smirk on his lips.

“Naughty little Mi-Mi,” Cater teased, walking over to Mirai, “checking me out like that.”

“I mean,” Mirai said with smug thoughtfulness, “the view is nice.”

Cater chuckled, the sound echoing off the tile of the bathroom, “Yeah? And what was Mi-Mi thinking about when he was looking at little ol’ me?”

“Secret.”

“You’re a dirty little thing,” Cater sang, smacking Mirai on the rear.

Mirai gasped, face flushed with a pout. He supposed he deserved it, for he was unabashedly staring at his boyfriends semi naked form.

“Don’t pout, Babe,” Cater cooed, wrapping his arms around Mirai, voice dropping to a sultry octave, “or I may have to bite those pretty little lips of yours.”

Mirai flushed even more, if that was even possible, face hot as he gasped at their close proximity, and Cater’s state of undress.

“Sh-Shower! Shower,” Mirai commanded, shoving Cater towards the tub.

Cater laughed, throwing his head back, “Mi-Mi’s embarrassed! #Cute!”

Mirai pouted, flicking Cater on the shoulder blade.

“Ow,” Cater complained playfully, “Okay, okay, I’m going.”

“You do that, you dummy,” Mirai huffed, marching out of the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.

Mirai busied himself with putting on his prosthetic, changing the bed linen, and putting on some pants, as he waited for the flush on his cheeks to die down. After he finished, Mirai made his way to find Grim. He was asleep in the lounge.

“You want food, Grim?” Mirai asked.

Grim instantly woke up, little pink tongue darting out to lick at his lips. “Yeah, what are we having?”

“Pancakes and omelets.”

“Oh, add bacon to mine!”

“Alright,” Mirai chuckled. “Go wash up, yeah?”

“Don’t wanna,” Grim pouted petulantly.

Mirai gave Grim a look, a look that said ‘you get nothing if you don’t wash up,’ and Grim deflated, grumbling as he made his way upstairs.

Mirai was on his fifth omelet when a pair of arms wrapped themselves around his waist.

“That looks good,” Cater muttered, kissing the back of Mirai’s head.

“Thanks,” Mirai said, his free hand coming up to hold Cater’s.

They stood in their embrace, Cater humming occasionally as he began to rock back and forth, moving the Prefect with him. Cater was warm from his shower, skin and hair still a little damp.

“Could you set the table? The pancakes and the hashbrowns are already done.”

“Mh hm.”

Cater set the table, placing the decent sized stack of pancakes in the middle of the table along with two cups, a bottle of orange juice and a stack of napkins. By the time Cater was done, placing down the last fork, Mirai was done with the last Omelet, plating it on the empty plate.

“Here,” Mirai said, placing the plate in front of the seat Cater was standing behind.

“TYSM,” Cater smiled, sitting down.

“Grim,” Mirai called, “Breakfast!”

Little thumps were heard, and soon, Grim was scurrying into the kitchen. “Thanks, Hench-human,” Grim said, taking his plate.

And as soon as he was in, he was out again.

“Where’s he going?” Cater chuckled.

“To his room,” Mirai said. “He has been up to something recently, and has holed himself up in his room. I don’t care as long as he cleans up, and doesn’t cause me any trouble.”

“Oh.”

Cater and Mirai served themselves. Mirai took a couple of pancakes, adding a load of butter and syrup. Cater on the other hand opted to just eat his omelet with some bacon and the hashbrowns Mirai had made. As they ate, they chatted about everything, school, tv shows, the weather, anything to fill the silence. But as they did, Mirai knew that they really needed to talk about what had happened last night. Mirai had so many questions, like why and how Cater ended up on his doorstep, how long had he been sitting there, why had he looked like he had been crying? But he wanted to give Cater time and the chance to eat before he brought the topic up again. And Mirai had noticed another thing, Cater hadn’t picked up his phone since they woke up. It wasn’t even on his person, it was upstairs somewhere. Cater never wasn’t without his phone, he was almost always either posting on his Magicam or checking his feed. There was never a moment Cater wasn’t seen without it.

As they finished their food, Cater began to fidget in his seat, a guilty countenance set upon his face. Mirai felt bad, he knew that Cater knew that they were gonna have to have that conversation, and he hated the fact that he was the one that was causing it. Mirai got up, washing his dishes and everything he used to cook with, and Cater joined his side not long after.

“Wanna go back upstairs, or do you wanna stay down here?” Mirai asked, taking off his rubber gloves.

“Upstairs,” Cater answered.

Back in his room, Mirai crawled atop the bed, sitting up against the headboard, reaching a hand out. Cater crawled in after him, situating himself in Mirai’s arms for a cuddle.

“Wanna talk about last night?” Mirai finally asked with a sigh, not wanting to upset Cater anymore than what he was now.

“I really don’t want to, but I know it’s better that I do,” Cater sighed.

“I’m not forcing you,” Mirai soothed, rubbing Cater’s back. “I’m just concerned.”

“I know. That’s why it’s better if I explain.”

“Okay.”

Cater sighed, burying his face into Mirai’s shirt, hands clutching at the fabric on Mirai’s back. “I got in a fight with my mother.”

Mirai didn’t say anything, but he held Cater tighter in reassurance.

“I normally don’t go home for break, making excuses on why I can’t make it, why I can’t spend it with them, and then I go and spend it with Trey. But I didn’t want to overstay my welcome, so I decided to go home, since I haven’t been in a while.”

Mirai hummed to let Cater know he was listening.

“When I got home, my mother wasn’t happy. She started yelling at me about how I was never home, and that I should’ve never left for school like my father had urged me to, if I wasn't gonna come home. I mean, I deserve that one, but I don’t miss home at all. And of course my sisters had all kinds of things they wanted me to wear, and all kinds of sweets they wanted me to try. And I couldn’t say no, I’m not allowed to,” Cater rasped, voice was straining as he spoke, trying not to cry as he retold what had happened. “It all became all too overstimulating too fast. I wanted to tear apart all the frilly and lacy outfits my sisters made me wear for them, because my clothes were “so not cute.” I wanted to shout back at my mother as she picked apart my wardrobe, as she berated me for my grades, for the way I spoke, for the way my hair was styled, for what I was posting on my Magicam.”

“Cater,” Mirai breathed, holding the older male’s shaking form even tighter.

“I wanted to throw up with the amount of cake I was forced to eat, all the cookies I wished I could change the flavor of, and I did, I forced myself to, and I did,” Cater admitted, hiccuping a sob into Mirai’s shirt.

Mirai felt horrible. While he was here, upsetting himself over something small, petty even, for missing his boyfriend, wallowing in self pity, Cater was suffering, fighting his own wars on his own home front. Mirai felt choked up, tears threatening to fall as Cater spoke.

“I miss, I miss my father,” Cater cried, “He, He never made me do anything, b-but he’s never home. I-I mean, it was never a better situation, and I-I know they’re trying, b-but what’s it matter if, if they never truly ask what I want? A-And last night, my sisters found out that you were my boyfriend.”

Cater was now crying, tears soaking Mirai’s shirt, chest heaving from his sobbing, and Mirai was crying tears of his own as he rubbed Cater’s back, trying to sooth his boyfriend.

“We somehow g-got on the topic of partners and marriage. My sisters wanted t-to hook me up with one of their friend’s li-little sisters, when I told them I was seeing someone. They asked why I c-couldn’t be with someone c-cuter, s-someone like Vil Schoenheit, someone w-who wasn’t so ugly, so, so hideous,” Cater stuttered, as he cried, his voice taking an angered tone. “I was so angry with t-them that I screamed at them, I screamed at m-my sisters, at my own mother. They don’t know you! They don’t know you like I do, so how could t-they say such things?! And, and the thing is, they do. They always do and they always did. And, and b-before I knew it, I-I was storming out of the house with my things in hand.”

Cater gasped a breath before continuing, “I didn’t know where to go, I didn’t have anywhere to go. But then I remembered that you were still here, so I came back here. And by the time I got here it was so late, and I really didn’t want to wake you. But I didn’t know what else to do so I called, hoping you’d wake up, and you did, I’m so glad you did.”

Cater sat up, his form looming over Mirai’s as he grabbed the Prefect’s wet and blotchy face between his hands.

“Cater?” Mirai called, voice quivering with tears.

Cater didn’t know what these feelings were, but he wanted to try. Cater Diamond didn’t fall in love, everyone fell in love with him. He was never one for long lasting relationships, never one for sappy words that came from the heart. He just liked to play his cards right with the next pretty face, and when they broke it off, he found someone else. But Mirai was different, so much different, and he didn’t want to miss his chance. Before Cater could stop them, the words he’d been keeping close to his heart came tumbling free.

“I love you,” Cater confessed, voice warbling, “I love you so much.”

Cater’s face was wet, flushed red from his crying, his green eyes were bloodshot, and swollen, his lips red and abused from biting them. Mirai’s whole world seemed to slow at those words, eyes widening as it all sank in. Mirai was stunned silent, voice caught in his throat, a garbled noise emitting from his lips as he tried to say something, anything. After a while Cater’s eyes widened in realization of what he just had confessed, color draining from his face.

“A-Ah,” Cater gasped, shooting up, sheer panic coloring his face, “I, wait, I, no, I didn’t mean, wait, no, I meant it but I didn’t mean to say it-ugh! Way to go, Cay-Cay, talk about #Lame.”

Cater ran his fingers through his bright orange curls, exasperated. His freckled cheeks were beet red, his eyes looking anywhere but Mirai as he sighed. Mirai stared at Cater, mind still reeling. Mirai reached forward and slowly pulled Cater to face him. Cater looked up confused, and before he could ask, Mirai was smashing their lips together. Cater staggered, surprised, but melted quickly after, deepening the kiss with a sigh. It hurt a bit, their lips colliding with a clash of teeth, but neither of them stopped, neither of them cared.

Mirai pulled back, holding Cater’s face in his hands. “I love you too,” Mirai whispered, teary green eyes steely and serious, yet so soft and full of love, “I love you.”

Cater chuckled breathily, and Mirai thumbed away the tears as they started to fall down Cater’s face again.

Mirai and Cater lie together, basking in the afternoon sun beaming through Ramshackle’s floor to ceiling windows. Mirai lay above Cater, his chin resting atop Cater’s head, and as always, Mirai was playing in Cater’s hair, fingers scratching at the base of his neck. Cater lay below him, head lying halfway on Mirai’s chest, their legs tangled together. One of Cater’s feet was rubbing at the back of Mirai’s calf, and sometime during their cuddling, one of Cater’s hands found its way under Mirai’s shirt, his fingers flittering up to his ribcage and back down, his thumb rubbing small mindless patterns into the dip in his hip.

“Why were you crying last night?” Cater asked, pressing his face into Mirai’s neck.

“Crying?” Mirai asked befuddled, “I wasn’t crying.”

“Your face was really puffy, and your eyes were red, so I thought you had been crying.”

“O-Oh.”

Cater sat up, looking his lover in the face, “So you were crying.”

“It, it was nothing important,” Mirai huffed, looking away from Cater.

“It is, if it made you cry.”

“But it’s not important now.”

“How is it not?”

“Be-Because, because you’re here now! So it’s fine,” Mirai flushed, covering his face with his hands.

“Eh?” Cater huffed, reaching down to pull Mirai’s hands from his face. “What do you mean because ‘I’m here now?’ I don’t get it. And stop hiding.”

“Be-Because,” Mirai stuttered, “I-I-I missed you! I missed you and me and my stupid separation anxiety was being a big baby about it because I was lonely!”

Cater’s fight left him at Mirai’s words, a small smile gracing his lips, “You could’ve called me.”

“And be that overbearingly annoying clingy boyfriend? No way! Hard pass! No thanks!”

“You could never be any of those things to me,” Cater cooed, kissing Mirai on the nose.

Mirai grumbled, hiding his face again.

“Don’t pout,” Cater cooed, leaning down to whisper in Mirai’s ear, “You know what happens when you pout.”

“Cat-ah! S-stop!”

Mirai laughed as Cater ran his fingers across a particularly ticklish spot on his stomach. Cater chuckled, pulling the Prefect’s shirt up his chest, and ran his fingers all over Mirai’s stomach. Mirai was cackling, tears in his eyes as he tried to fight off Cater’s attack.

“O-Okay! Okay,” Mirai laughed, “I yield! I g-give! I’m sorry!”

Cater ceased his attack, giggling as Mirai continued to scoot away from him.

Cater stared at Mirai, taking in the sight of his lover in the afternoon light. Mirai’s pale blonde hair was haloed around his head reflecting the sun, his freckles that littered his warm pale skin that was flushed a bit from laughing, the dark eye bags that never seemed to fade, his vivid green eye and the scars that marred his face. Cater felt warmth in the pit of his chest, so much that it almost hurt.

“What?” Mirai asked fondly, “What is it?”

“I really am in love with you,” Cater whispered.

“So I’ve heard,” Mirai chuckled, “But yeah, I’m in love with you too.”

Cater leaned down, holding Mirai’s face in his hands, their noses touching with their closeness. Cater hummed happily as he pressed his lips against Mirai’s in a chaste kiss. Mirai breathed a laugh, leaning up to kiss Cater back. After a while their sweet kisses turned into something more as Cater deepened the kiss, his tongue pushing past the Prefect’s lips. Mirai whined, opening his mouth to let Cater in, his tongue chasing Cater’s. Cater groaned, pressing his body closer, his hands snaking up Mirai’s shirt, feeling their way up his lover’s torso. Mirai was whining loudly as Cater’s hands rubbed, pinched and pulled at the skin on his hips. And when Cater’s tongue ran across the roof of his mouth, Mirai was moaning, back arching. They parted, lips smacking, and Cater continued his assault down Mirai’s neck, kissing, biting and sucking wherever he could.

“Bite me,” Mirai breathed, “Bite me harder.”

Cater groaned, latching on to the skin where Mirai’s shoulder and neck met, biting down hard. Mirai gasped, arching up into Cater, hands scrambling for purchase on the back of Cater’s shirt as he continued to abuse the spot, sucking and licking a big dark mark into his skin. Cater let go, licking the mark one last time before sitting up to look down at Mirai. The Ramshackle Prefect’s face was flushed a lovely red, lips swollen and wet. His hair was disheveled and so was his shirt, all crumpled, riding up his heaving chest, his eyes were clouded with heat, and on his neck was the mark, already starting to bruise, pretty against his pale flushed skin.

“Oh, that’s a good look on you,” Cater practically groaned, breathing haggard, “Wanna take a pic so bad.”

“Only if you let me mark you too,” Mirai smirked.

Cater reached for his phone that was on the bedside table and booted it up. Once it powered on, Cater was immediately spammed with a bunch of messages. Cater’s face fell for a couple of seconds as he fiddled with the device, and if Mirai could guess, he probably was clearing out the messages from his Mother and sisters.

“Come here, Baby,” Cater beckoned with a sly smile.

Mirai crawled up to where Cater was, allowing Cater to move him around for the picture. They ended up lying down, facing each other. Mirai’s face was pressed up into Cater’s neck, face hidden, both of them with their arms wrapped around each other, legs tangled together.

“Bite me,” Cater breathed, holding his phone above the two of them.

“Y-You’re gonna take it with me b-biting you?” Mirai stuttered, face flushing red.

“We don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“I-I don’t mind.”

“Alright, cool. Whenever you’re ready.”

Mirai moved closer to Cater, trying to find a good spot to bite.

“This good?” Mirai muttered.

“Yeah, that’s good. Perfect.” Cater sighed.

Mirai took a breath before latching his mouth onto Cater’s neck. He took to an experimental bite, trying to feel how Cater would react.

Cater sighed with a gasp, the hand under his shirt gripping his waist a little harder.

“Harder,” Cater begged.

Mirai whined, biting harder, relishing in the way Cater moaned loudly when he bit harder, sucking on his skin. He tasted like soap, his soap, and he smelled like it too, but underneath all of that, he still smelled distinctly like Cater, crisp, clean, and spicy. Cater twitched and shivered in his hold as Mirai continued to suck on his neck. No longer taking pictures, Cater relaxed in Mirai’s hold, gasping and moaning as Mirai continued to suck on his neck.

“M-More,” Cater gasped, “Again. Pl-Please.”

Mirai let go and moved atop Cater, pushing the strawberry blonde onto his back.

“Oh?” Cater teased breathily, “Someone’s feisty.”

Mirai smirked as he got comfortable on Cater’s hips, hands pressing down on Cater’s chest as he leaned down, lips ghosting against Cater’s as he spoke, “You like it though.”

“I do,” Cater whispered back, pecking Mirai on the lips.

Mirai picked a spot on Cater’s collar bone, kissing the spot before latching on and biting down. Cater moaned, the sound rattling in his chest as his back arched, his hands coming up to hold Mirai’s hips, his head thrashing to the right. Mirai whined, sucking harder at his neck.

“K-Keep, keep going,” Cater gasped.

Mirai hummed, pulling down Cater’s shirt collar to suck a new mark high on his chest.

“So good for me, Baby,” Cater cooed breathily.

Mirai continued his loving assault on Cater’s neck, the both of them lost in the feeling of each other. Mirai gave a particularly hard suck on Cater’s jaw right below his ear, and Cater let out a keening whimper high in his throat, back arching, his hips grinding up into Mirai’s, and Mirai unconsciously returned the action, the both of them moaning out at the contact.

They both froze, hearts hammering in their chests. Mirai pulled back, green eyes wide, face crimson as he looked down at Cater below him. Cater’s appearance wasn’t better off at all, he looked utterly debauched. His green eyes were glazed over, lips wet and red, face flushed red down past his shirt collar, and his neck littered with love bites, red and bruising against his honey skin. None of them said a word, staring at each other, not knowing what to say or do.

After a couple of moments of awkward silence, Mirai spoke, stammering, “So, how does, how does Ramen sound for dinner?”

Mirai boiled some ramen noodles as Cater played some pop music on his bluetooth speaker, dancing around the kitchen as he scrolled on his phone. Mirai laughed as Cater inched his way over to Mirai, hips swaying with the beat.

“Can I post this?” Cater asked, turning his phone around.

“You took a video?!” Mirai shouted incredulously.

“Yep. It’s easier to get good pictures that way. I can delete it if you want me to.”

“I don’t mind, but don’t post the video.”

“Ok, how about this one?”

It was a nice picture, Mirai had to admit. It was quite provocative, yes, but it was a really nice picture. You couldn’t see the top halves of their faces, Cater’s being cut off by the frame, all that was visible was from his nose down, his lips that were crooked in a smirk. Mirai’s face was covered by Cater’s and his arm, his head cocked up into Cater’s neck, mouth latched on Cater’s neck, the bruise Cater had given him earlier visible to the camera.

“That one’s nice,” Mirai nodded.

“Yeah, this one’s my favorite, totally Cater approved. #Sexy,” Cater smiled.

Mirai snickered, “You sure you wanna post that? Like doesn’t most of the student body follow you, including Riddle?”

“I won’t post it unless you don’t want me to,” Cater said, pulling Mirai into him, swaying them both with the beat.

“I don’t mind. My issue is that I’m more concerned about you and your reputation.”

“How so?”

“Like, for starters, Riddle. I’m pretty sure you’re probably gonna get an earful if and when he sees that. And second, are you ready to like, make us more than a Heartslabyul secret? What about your followers?”

“Riddle’s totally gonna yell at me, but yeah, I think, I think I’m ready to officially change my Magicam status. My main reason was to keep it from my Mother and sisters, but since the cat’s out of the bag, why not post an actual picture of me and my totally sexy boyfriend, and not pass it off as friends just hanging out? And just to see my comment section blow up, I’m not gonna reveal who you are yet. Wanna make ‘em jealous.”

Mirai scoffed, taking the noodles off the stove, “Who would want me?”

Cater scoffed playfully, “Uh, me?”

“Besides you, you dummy.”

“You’d be surprised.”

Mirai looked surprised, “What do you mean?”

“You have quite the rep around here, and believe it or not, it’s more positive than negative.”

“I can’t see why? Like, who would want an ugly, scarred up, broken-”

“Finish that sentence and I will tell Riddle that it was you and Ace who put that hole in the wall.”

“Cater,” Mirai shouted, a pout on his face. “You promised! And Ace was asking for it!”

“Then don’t finish that sentence and I won’t tell,” Cater laughed.

Mirai pouted, as he dished the ramen into three bowls, setting the table.

“But back to our original conversation, is it alright if I post this?” Cater asked, sitting down.

“Yeah, I don’t mind,” Mirai said, sitting down next to Cater.

“Cool.”

Five minutes later, Cater posted the picture.“#FallBreak, #BestVaycayEver, #Boyfriends,” Cater rambled, other hashtags Mirai couldn't catch with the speed Cater was posting at. “And done.”

“Sap,” Mirai laughed.

“Love you too,” Cater cooed with a wink.

Mirai shook his head.

Grim came down sometime after, taking a seat at the other end of the table.

“So why’s he here?” Grim gruffed around a mouthful of noodles.

“Grim,” Mirai warned.

“What?! Isn’t he supposed to be on vacation? Who’d want to spend their vacation at school?”

Cater smirked, “What can I say, Cay-Cay missed his totally adorable boyfriend and his boyfriend’s totally adorable cat.”

“I am not a cat!”

Cater began poking fun at Grim and Grim retaliated with empty threats and harsh words. Mirai, on the other hand, laughed loudly at their bickering.

Grim left, more annoyed than angry after Mirai gave him a donut for dessert, Mirai and Cater continued to eat their ramen, Cater’s music filling the space. Mirai watched Cater eat, finding it endearing as Cater tied his hair up into a short ponytail to keep it from falling into his food.

“Is it hot enough for you?” Mirai asked, “Because if it’s not, there’s all types of hot sauce in the pantry.”

“No, it’s fine. I’m good,” Cater dismissed.

Mirai got up from the table, confusing Cater as he rummaged through the pantry until he found the hot sauce. Mirai brought the small bottle back to the table, setting it in front of Cater.

“You didn’t have to do that. It’s good as is,” Cater reasoned.

“You like it spicy right? So just use it,” Mirai argued.

“But it’s good. I couldn’t mess up your food.”

“The only reason why it’s not spicy is because I can’t handle spicy food.”

“Nope, it’s fine.”

“You really don’t want it to be spicy?” Mirai asked.

“It’s fine, really,” Cater laughed.

The pair finished their food, washing the dishes together, Cater washing and Mirai drying. Mirai put away the last dish, and when he turned around, Cater was dancing again. The song was upbeat, the kind of music you would hear at a party. Cater looked the Magicless Prefect in the eye as he swiveled his hips, a hand running up his torso, pulling his shirt up with it, his smooth stomach revealing itself in its wake.

Mirai put a hand on his hip, raising an eyebrow, and Cater snickered, wiggling his eyebrows. Mirai laughed.

“C’mon, Dollface, dance with me,” Cater laughed.

“Can’t dance,” Mirai smiled, “but the view is nice.”

Cater cackled, throwing his head back.

Cater grabbed both of Mirai’s hands and pulled him close. The pair did nothing special, swaying to the beat of the music, Cater and Mirai spinning each other here and there. The couple had fun dancing around, Cater belting out a couple of lines, his voice playfully and airy, and more than once did they have each other blushing and laughing. Then a slower song played and they slowed their step to a slow dance, their movements unhurried and steady. Cater sang quietly to the song as he held Mirai close, his head resting on top of Mirai’s, his arms wrapped around the younger’s waist and shoulders.

“You smell good,” Mirai mumbled, pressing his face into Cater’s chest, tangling his hands in the back of his shirt.

“You always say that,” Cater chuckled. “What do I smell like?”

“I don’t know how to describe it. Like, I know you wear cologne, but you always smell clean, crisp, and spicy, sometimes even deep and musky, and sometimes light sweet, but it’s you.”

Cater hummed.

Cater buried his face in Mirai’s hair, kissing the top of his head, and Mirai pressed his ear to Cater’s chest, listening to his steady heartbeat as they danced. Mirai couldn’t explain the giddy warm feeling he felt when he was with Cater. Whether it be talking to Cater, eating with Cater, cuddling with Cater, or simply just sitting next to him, Mirai felt happy, and safe. And he never wanted to let that feeling go.

Mirai turned his head and looked up at Cater, and Cater looked down with a warm smile.

“Yes, Cutie Pie?” Cater cooed.

“I love you,” Mirai whispered, face warming.

Cater flushed as he held Mirai’s face in his hands, his thumbs petting Mirai’s soft cheeks. Mirai reached up to place his hands on top of Cater’s, his hands running up the length of Cater’s arms until they were on his. They stared at each other, lost in each other's eyes, in the sweetness of the moment, and neither of them wanted it to end.

“I love you too,” Cater finally said, leaning down to kiss Mirai softly.

Cater’s phone went off, the ringer a playful little tune as it sounded through the room. The pair broke apart and Cater rushed over to his phone, face lighting up as he answered it.

“‘Sup Trey,” Cater chirped happily.

“Not to dampen your mood, but you good?” Trey asked, genuinely concerned.

“Yeah,” Cater breathed, “I am now.”

“That’s good, I’m glad. Thanks Mirai.”

“It was nothing really,” Mirai spoke up, looking over Cater’s shoulder, “Would’ve done it for any of you, honestly.”

Suddenly Cater’s phone started going off again and after Cater clicked a button, Ace’s face came into view.

“‘Sup Acey,” Cater winked.

“Hi Ace,” Mirai waved.

“So we just not gonna talk about that picture you two posted?” Ace asked, an eyebrow raised. “Riddle’s gonna kill you.”

“What he doesn’t know won’t kill him,” Cater laughed.

“Oh, but I do know.”

Cater froze as Riddle’s face came up next to Trey’s, face twisted in anger.

“H-Hey Riddle,” Cater said, voice full of fear.

“Oh! Let me get Deuce in on this,” Ace said and not soon after Deuce joined the video call.

“You’re so dead,” Deuce laughed.

“Tell me Cater,” Riddle growled, “What would possess you to post something like that!”

“Mi-Mi gave me the okay to post it,” Cater defended himself.

“Mirai! How could you let him post something so provocative like that?!”

Mirai laughed as he poked his head over Cater’s shoulder, “You have to admit, it was a nice picture.”

“Mirai!”

“It was, though,” Ace agreed.

Deuce and Trey nodded in agreement.

“Don’t agree with them,” Riddle shouted.

“Lighten up Riddle, they’re having fun,” Trey soothed. “We’re letting the little things go, Riddle, remember?”

“This is not a little thing!”

“Totes a little thing,” Cater laughed.

Mirai laughed at Riddle as his face grew red.

Cater turned around, grabbing Mirai so that he was sitting on his lap, as Riddle and Trey continued to argue.

“Look at his neck,” Riddle yelled.

Mirai looked at their necks from the phone camera, and Mirai had to agree, their necks did look pretty bad.

“Cater’s is worse than Mirai’s,” Ace laughed.

“It’s worse than it was in the picture,” Deuce laughed.

“Oh Queen of Hearts, please help me,” Riddle groaned.

“Dang Mirai,” Ace laughed, “You really went to town, didn’t you?”

Mirai cackled, “He asked for it.”

“Mirai,” Riddle scolded.

“Keep telling y’all, wrong impression,” Mirai laughed.

“Looks like it hurts,” Deuce said.

“Oh no, Hon” Cater said, “It feels really good.”

“Cater,” Riddle chided.

Everyone laughed, while Riddle groaned miserably.

“Ugh,” Riddle whined. “Why are we even discussing this?”

“You brought it up, boo,” Cater winked.

“But how are you gonna cover it up?” Deuce asked.

“It’s not like anyone’s gonna see it, I’m not going anywhere,” Cater said nonchalantly.

“You say that like you intend for no one to see that, yet post it on the internet,” Trey deadpanned.

Cater laughed, flashing the camera with his signature three fingered salute.

“So like, you guys aren’t afraid of what people might say?” Deuce asked warily.

Everyone seemed to quiet down at his question.

“If you had asked me that a couple of weeks ago, I’d say yes, but now, I could care less,” Mirai said sincerely. “Anyone who has a problem can kick rocks.”

Cater, Ace, Trey, and Deuce laughed and Riddle sighed.

“I’ll let this one slide,” Riddle huffed, “But I don’t wanna see any more photo’s like that coming from either of you.”

“No promises,” Mirai sang.

Riddle growled.

“Have you seen Savanaclaw's posts?” Cater asked incredulously.

“I have no control over Savanaclaw and what they post.”

“I think it was a nice photo,” An unfamiliar voice commented.

Mirai looked at the screen, and jumped in surprise at the floating head behind Trey and Riddle.

“Get out, Che’nya,” Riddle yelled, swinging his arms.

“Aww but I missed you,” Che’nya whined, body materializing as he held onto Riddle.

“Get off me!”

The two began to argue, their voices loud and echoey through the phone, and it wasn’t until a pillow was thrown, most likely by Riddle, did Trey get up.

“Gotta go,” Trey said, wincing as the yelling continued, a loud bang resonating through the phone, “Talk later, yeah?”

“Bye, Trey,” Ace and Deuce waved.

“Night,” Mirai waved.

“Laters,” Cater waved.

Trey hung up, leaving the chat.

“Ima get off too,” Deuce said, “It is late, and my mom is asleep.”

“That’s fine,” Mirai said, “Let’s all just call it a night. We can chat in the morning, yeah?”

“Yeah, night guys,” Ace called, “Night mama’s boy.”

“Hey,” Deuce shouted.

Everyone laughed.

“Night,” Cater chirped.

“Night, Deuce,” Mirai laughed.

“Night,” Deuce grumbled.

Cater ended the call, and Mirai stretched his arms over his head, yawning, as he stood up from Cater’s lap. It was late and Mirai thought about settling in for the night.

“Wanna watch a movie?” Cater asked.

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Mirai said thoughtfully.

“You can set up my laptop,” Cater said quietly, “but first, I’m gonna call my mother, and apologize.”

Mirai nodded, leaving to give Cater his privacy.

Mirai and Cater watched a movie on Cater’s laptop as they laid in bed together. It was some romcom where the female lead gets accepted for a job as secretary, but what she doesn’t know is that her new boss is the man who she dumped back in high school. Mirai was trying to pay attention, he really was, but with Cater playing with the hair at the base of his neck, his fingers scratching at his scalp, the slow relaxed rise and fall of Cater’s warm chest, and the sound of his beating heart, Mirai was struggling to keep his eyes open.

“Falling asleep, Sweetpea?” Cater muttered, his voice sounding sleepy as well.

“No,” Mirai lied, a yawn escaping his lips.

Cater chuckled softly, “Liar.”

“Am not,” Mirai pouted, eyes closing again.

“Go to sleep, Baby. We can watch this another time.”

“I’m, I’m not tired,” Mirai slurred sleepily.

Not even a minute later, Mirai was snoring softly. Cater chuckled to himself, grabbing his phone to take a quick pic before he carefully shut and moved his laptop.

“Good night, Mi-Mi,” Cater whispered, placing a soft kiss to the crown of Mirai’s head, “Love you.”

Cater smiled to himself, nuzzling his face into Mirai’s hair. For once in his life, Cater could just be. He didn’t need to put on the pretty face created by his sister's perfection for all things cute, he didn’t have to put on the face he reserved for people so that they didn’t get too close, all because he and his family never stayed in one place when he was a child. He didn’t have to keep the fake smiles, no matter how he was feeling, just so that people couldn’t actually see how broken he really was. He didn't have to smile through the pain and lie through his teeth, because Mirai was always a step ahead of him, always so caring and attentive. So he could cry, he could be tired, he could be angry, he could be human again. He could be the man he wanted to be, the man he always wanted to be, not the jumbled up mess he was now. And most importantly, he could be himself.

For once in his life, Cater felt that he belonged somewhere, somewhere he felt safe, somewhere he felt free, somewhere he felt loved, and somewhere he felt truly at home. And that somewhere was in the arms of his lover.

--------------------------------------

Thanks for reading, I really appreciate it. If it weren't for the smattering amount of yall who ready every time I post, I would have given up long ago, so thank you so much!

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wifiwuxians · 4 months

Note

i realized my last ask was just a lot of information to say that i like your art. all i wanted to say is that i dont rb bc i know you draw song lan and xue yang platonically and i want to respect that (and your wishes) and i dont wanna bug you. also i do love your songxiao art as well, its very beautiful and they make an absolutely lovely couple together. i feel like i may have failed in my initial mission not to weird you out just by sending my initial ask but i promise im looking respectfully and your art absolutely has value and beauty outside of the realm of shipping and my terrible weird shipper brain aoeiuraiuoer im a multishipper so i absolutely appreciate and love your songxiao works even tho im a songxue main. also you a-qing art is peak and adorable. i never see other artists portray her as perfectly as you do. thank you again for sharing your art and i really hope my asks havent bothered you at all. i just wanted to tell you that youre more appreciated than you might see and some of us just wanna be respectful to your wishes? i guess, i dont know. i know in an ideal world you would have tons of reblogs from people who like these characters and relationships in the same way that you do. i really hope that you get a ton of fans like that because you absolutely deserve it and your art is good enough to persuade people in my opinion (i was just far too far down the songxue hole to ever escape by the time i found your work). dont give up drawing what you love! i'll prolly just make that alt account i was talking abt earlier w/o shipping stuff so i can rb your stuff without making you uncomfortable. please take care and i hope you have a really wonderful day! again, im so sorry if ive bothered you at all. please take care.

^took me so long bc i was making this and its not even good KSDHFJSK

in case you didn't see my response to the other ask: it's only certain ship tags that bother me! you are absolutely welcome to reblog my art even if you ship my notp of notps (which, again, songxue is not. it doesn't even qualify if i'm honest- yes this is probably a direct result of me drawing them so often LMAOOOOO), i love when people appreciate my work and everyone is free to take away whatever they want of it, i'm really sorry to everyone i've made feel like they can't interact with me because of something as overall trivial as shipping. it's just the tagging, guys! that's all i ask, nothing more!

thank you for wanting to respect my boundaries so much though and especially thank you for enjoying my art! even though yes it is in most cases intended as platonic it's really okay to enjoy it anyway. it means a lot to me that you do, and really don't worry about making a whole new blog, if for peace of mind you don't wanna tag it then that's ok but don't go through all that trouble for me PLEASE... you haven't bothered me at all and you're not weird, i'm just sorry if i made you feel this bad agh

(also, A-Qing is BEST GIRL i am always repping A-Qing.. . )

#songxiao is ship of ships thank you for appreciating that so much #i feel. admittedly. like i am most often not appealing to fellow shippers. and like im just too out there #with all my 500 AUs and whatever so this was nice to read #songxue #please do not feel bad #though i also hope to attract the platonic yi city fans i figure i dont wanna exclude anyone. my content is for all #shin dont look

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ashersanity · 4 months

Note

Hey, Asher. This is degenerate anon once again. Sorry for swarming your inbox with my asks 😭 I noticed you haven't been doing so well (because I may or may not be stalking your tags), and I just wanted to double-check, hope you're doing well. You're a pretty cool person and I'm kinda worried about your state Please, don't overwork yourself, whether it goes down to answering asks or other things like work or studies. We can wait as long as we have to for the first case, and you're a human too. What you do already is far more than enough I also just wanna remind you that you're awesome, and if anybody says otherwise, I'll punt them to the moon. I would have offered my inbox too, but I said some very embarrassing shit, there is absolutely no way I'm getting off anon, so all I can say is that I'll always be here for you, presence-wise. Eat and rest well today, you deserve a break (˘͈ ᵕ ˘͈♡) - Whitney's left tit- whoops, I meant... Degenerate anon :)

Lmfaooooo what. nah.

heavy vent. scroll past. thanks. →

Really, the last thing I really wanted when I made those posts was to worry anyone, not that I think I would but now I’m seeing a bunch of people suddenly reaching out to me and asking if I’m okay. I appreciate it a lot, really I do and you too, degenerate anon, for even bothering to ask when you could’ve scrolled past or played off those tags as shits n giggles since that’s what it sort of was in my head anyway. I wasn’t exactly in the best of states when I wrote those. Sometimes, rarely so, it gets so bad that I’m acting on impulse, sputtering out bullshit about wanting to end it right then and there, that it’d be better this way if I was never born at all. Its fucking hysterical how I play it off right after as if I didn’t just casually mention it a bit ago because truth is, I’m not okay yet I don’t want to reach out to anyone either in fear of being a bother and the vulnerability that comes with it. This whole persona of being obscenely horny for entertainment, unserious just for it to be a coping mechanism.

Not exactly sure why I’m laying it out all on you when you didn’t even ask for it, it’s selfish to do so but your ask just really made the words scramble and be put together in my brain as though I finally had the opportunity to answer the why to my question. Why the fuck am I like this. Why the fuck am I plagued with this utter crap of dealing with whatever the fuck this is. I don’t know what it really is, some have told me it’s depression and I’m simply in denial about it. Maybe I am. I’ve been through worse than this, especially in the lockdown though this somehow feels worser for no reason. I’m supposed to have gotten my shit together by then, moved out, new life, new place to settle in, new people, people who are actually kind and welcoming, regularly work out and whatnot.

I still feel like utter shit. I still feel like I’m not doing enough. To be honest, life is moving way too fucking fast for me, one day I’m still a young kid who’s spending his time all day at the park and the next I’m supposed to be a grown adult who’s got all his shit together by then, who has responsibilities, responsibilities that cannot be ignored nor pushed away no matter how much I try to run away from my problems. I know that it’s not that hard, at least, not compared to other people I’ve seen who have it so much harder and still manage through it all while I’m barely hanging on by a thread. It’s so pathetic, god. I need a shitty fictional character from a porn game to even cope about it but even then, there’s so much I can think about before reality hits me once more and I’m left to deal with my thoughts alone in the dark while my roommate is dozing away in the next room.

I hate it so much, I feel as though im not good enough no matter what I do, no matter what I try is simply not enough to measure to other people’s expectations or mines either, not that I think of myself much to begin with. Even when people tell me that what I do is good, wether it be art, writing, who I am as a whole, that they enjoy talking to me because I am who I am, reassured on my appearance too because no matter how many compliments I get I still feel like a monster hiding beneath a layer of flesh moulded to look like that of a human. I feel displaced. I feel as though I don’t belong. It’s not there’s nothing in the world for me, it’s simply I’m nothing for the world itself.

I’m a burden. It’s as simple as that, the amount of guilt that I feel when people express affection towards me, wether it be friends, family members, hell even romantic partners which I may or may not have rejected all from the horror of intimacy. Whenever they tell me they love me to my face, that they worry for me whenever I’m in a bad state, I can’t help the pit that fills my stomach nor the lump in my throat because I truly am undeserving of this fucking love. Give it someone else, please. Anyone but me because they need it more than I do, than whatever the fuck of a shitty person that I am.

I have it bad, so fucking bad that when someone hugged me today, I was practically burying my face in their shoulder and clinging onto dear life because by god, this is the only time I’ll ever allow myself such contact every time I push it away. Nearly burst into tears like a moron too even if I rarely do ever cry since it’s been ingrained in my head to never cry, boys don’t cry, he says, only sissies do and the last thing I wanna be is a pussy. Cried in front of him once as a kid and he told me to get my shit together and suck it up unless I wanna be beaten up in the adult world. So bad that someone actually caught me crying once and I quickly played it off as physical pain (recurring stomach ache) hurting me so bad that tears were spilling, frantically reassuring them that I’m good. Sometimes I do wonder, why i am the one to reassure others.

I know that if I actually reached out to the people that have offered, sought a therapist like a few people have recommended to, it would possibly get better or maybe not. It would probably do more good and I’d be able to sort through these feelings for sure but I won’t. I fucking won’t. I’ve gotten used to bottling up these feelings. Fuck, I’ve repressed them from years and it seems they’re finally spilling in this overly long ass post that no one will bother reading. That’s fine with me because I really need to say it out loud for once even if it’s written through text on a fucking platform called Tumblr where cock is more prevalent than someone’s fucking life.

I’m not okay. That’s the thing. I’m not fucking okay. I wish I could play it off as I usually do whenever people ask me such questions like “how are you” irl. I wish I could say it out loud, say it to their faces, say what I really am. I’m not okay. I’m not fucking okay and I don’t think I’ll be okay soon either because I’ve not fucking okay for so long that it’s getting to me. I’m not okay. I’m miserable actually, I’m so fucking miserable that I wish I could just sleep forever and never wake up again. I’m so fucking miserable that there’s not a day that goes by where there’s this fleeting thought in the back of my mind that wonders, wonders how better it’d be if I were to disappear altogether, stop being a burden to those around me. I’m so fucking miserable that I didn’t even bother answering your well-intentioned question and instead am laying myself bare to the world on a shitty tumblr post. I’m so fucking miserable that I had to pause as I type this because it’s as though I’m finally admitting the obvious truth that I’ve been unwilling to say. I’m so fucking miserable that I just wish I could curl up into a ball and freely cry into someone’s lap, I wish I could fucking yell it even.

I’m not okay. I’m not fucking okay. No matter how much I say it in these written words it doesn’t seem to equal to the amount of times I had to muffle myself, clasp a hand over my mouth in the darkness of my room as a teenager so that my noisy parents don’t overhear my cries. I’m not fucking okay because even when I tell myself as an adult now, that I’m over it, I’m not. I’ve been going through it for so very long, willingly choosing to suffer in silence because it’s the easiest for me even if it will ruin me in the end. It’s already ruining me and eating me from the inside. I’d rather dump all of this crap on here than even say it to the people who’re close to me, asking about it.

I’m burnt out, I’m tired. I wish to rest but I can’t.

Because I think I’m fucking a piece of shit who doesn’t deserve such.

I hope you’re doing better than me, degenerate anon. Sincerely so, you deserve it and thanks for even asking again despite the few interactions we’ve had through asks. You’re my favorite anon for sure.

But ahah, im doing fine lmfao.

#LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO #lmfao #lol #XD even #I’m so silly #so fucking close to losing it #aren’t we all? lololololol #cringe #dumb post #mentions of wanting to fucking kill my self #oops i guess?#degenerate anon #asher in the flesh #delete this shit rn

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panthera-tigris-venenata · 1 year

Note

For the headcanons ask thing - Harriet Hook?

Realistic

Yeah, so I spent far too much time thinking over the hierarchy in the port, and this is my qualified analysis ✨, in which all semi-insulting words are used in the most affectionate way possible, because I love them, Your Honour.

Anyway.

Both Harriet and Uma have pirate crews, right? (Also, Rise timeline is a suggestion because you don't get that kind of loyalty in that short time. You just don't.)

So. Two pirate crews, right?

Harriet's probably a bit better established, because Harriet is older and doesn't spend half her time fighting a petty feud with Mal.

On the other hand, Uma is That Bitch (affectionate), and decides that she'd like a little more control, thank you for asking.

(They might or might not fight. It is the most terrifying time the Isle kids can remember.)

Eventually, Harriet's reaction is essentially this: „What are you doing, girl?! Why are you doing this?! Really?! ... Oh, wait. I have, like, actual free time now. Keep doing it.“

(Look, she is tired. She deserves a break.)

...Yeah, no. She still doesn't know how to relax. But she now has the free time to do so! Occasionally!

Only too bad her favourite hobbies include wrestling with crocodiles and yelling at Judge Frollo.

(Fortunately for the Isle, she also has more time to keep CJ from blowing shit up. Which is a full time job in itself.)

Unrealistic but funny

There is a competition among the siblings over who can tag their name on the most ridiculous/impressive place.

Harriet is winning, despite the fact that no one ever sees ger in action. Which would be because out of her siblings, she is the only one with enough common sense to ditch her bright red cloak when doing shit that will likely upset a great number of dangerous people.

(She got her name on one of the the towers of Maleficent's castle; Harry got Castle across the way by flirting with Evie, and Frollo's is basically a free real estate.)

Heartbreaking

I think she has an alcohol problem. It runs in the family.

Her hangovers are the reasons CJ swore to never ever drink. (Also, CJ is a control freak and dreads losing control of her mind. Harriet, on the other hand, would like to forget. Everything.)

(Harry, as usual, is in the middle of the scale.)

Canon is a suggestion ✨

Once in Auradon, she and Uma get *psychotherapy license*, to help their crews, 'cos, you know, „if you wanna something done right, you gotta do it yourselves.“

(Yes, she does this without admiting she needs therapy herself. She has issues.)

She becomes Ben's therapist, because come on, the boy needs it, and because Uma would be biased in this case.

Like, yeah, her advice might consist mostly of „Punch them.“ („Can't do that unless I want to start a war.“ „...Punch them only a little?“) and „Sometimes, it's okay to start biting people,“ and „Cheers, I'll drink to that!“, but Ben adores her. She does give helpful advice occasionally and, what's more important, doesn't care that he is the High King of Auradon in the slightest.

She just gives no fuck.

Unlike all Auradonian therapists who are gonna dance around King's and Queen's feelings, she is not afraid to call him out when he is about to make a stupid decision or when he is being too nice for his own good.

Also, this lovely conversation between Mal and Ben:

Mal: „Ben? Why did you just throw Queen Leah out of the palace indefinitely?“

Ben: „My therapist told me, and I quote, to ‚never take any shit from that awful abusive old hag of a queen ever again.“

Mal: „...She was yelling the whole time she was packing her bags.“

Ben: „Not my problem.“

Mal: „You need a better therapist.“

Ben: „What is wrong wrong with Harriet?“

Mal, at the verge of panic attack: „Who the fuck gave Harriet Hook a therapy license?!“

(Ben invites Audrey to stay over until her grandmother cools off.)

And of course, this sweet exchange once Mal storms Harriet's office (on the off day she actually bothers to come)

Mal: „You are a therapist?! Why- What?!“

Harriet: gestures to the license on the wall

Mal: „Yeah! Who the fuck let you have that?!“

Harriet: „Oh, yeah. Trust me. I have no idea why they even let me take that course. I mean, look at me.“

Uma, from the office next door: „That would be because you cheated on your own psycho-evaluation exam!“

Harriet, shrugging: „Oh, yeah. That would do it. I have almost forgotten about that.“

(Say what you want, the pirate Captains are very effective therapists for the Isle kids.)

#disney descendants #harriet hook #cj hook #harry hook #uma descendants #ben florian #mal bertha

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honeybeewhereartthee · 1 year

Text

Madness Mansion of Helter Spider 23

꒦˚︶꒦Previous꒷︶꒦˚Chapter twenty-three꒷꒦˚︶꒦Next꒷︶꒷꒦˚

"hmm so you choice to leave him to suffer and parish." Morpho chuckle. " Hmm, that's a good choice... Follow me, the place should be here. " He soon walk to a direction, you quickly follow suit to him. He reach out to the beautiful jewels surrounded with crystal hearts and sweets... As well a purple butterfly.

" Oh. It seems that we cant touch that world at the moment. It's on that timeline. " He mumble before you know it Maid Blood have come running to the two of you and stared at the jewel as if seeing something.

" BASTARD RABBIT, KISSING MY SPOUSE!! STUPID CLONE KILL EM KILL EM!" he seems to be really angry about something as Morpho pry him off the jewel. "What a disturbing and unhinged simp." He added as he throw the other across the gallery.

"W-what was that..." You think you just saw him mad like blood for a moment. "That? Ah. A delusional person. Don't bother with him... Hmm let see where's the current timeline." He start to click something in a holographic screen.

As you watch in curiosity, you suddenly felt your chess becoming quite suffocating. Like something is gripping it so tightly.

"Ah? What's wrong? " The guardian pause and look at you who's now on the floor coughing and trying to catch a breath.

"... Oh. Your going to have a bad time." He suddenly find your situation in a dare state. "Do you know the story of Persephone and hades...? Hades give her a pomegranate to keep her by his side..." He kneel down and poke your forehead, it somehow lessen the pain. "Sadly in your case... You were feed more than she did... " He chuckle a bit, it seems his very amuse by your suffering.

"scheming some crap again, i see. I see." Maid blood who's finally back commented and stared down at you boredly. " You know. That guy never told you... But your thoughts is openly being read by him... " He suddenly have a twisted grin. Your eyes widen at what he said. " Oh voices in your head, Shall you persist or Shall you not."

" Your awfully noisy right now." Morpho guardian stood up and sigh. His face become expressionless. " Do you care about them--'

"Not really." The other quickly answers. "The only thing that stops me from ending them is that they are my beloved creation." He yawned sleepily. "I would destroy everything and do everything for my precious... So why would I care about some troubles of someone else? " He smile happily as if he just don't say something scary at all.

" I forget that even if you all are different, somehow something stays the same. " Morpho guardian rolled his eyes before he look at you who's in the floor. " I do have to apologize. Those choices are a test for you... Sadly you failed. To begin with... Don't you notice your little " choices in the head of yours don't have the same [ You have chosen (statement) ] when you began your part? Because it's not back yet.... A part of you ignored the warning of what left of [ kindness] of that."

He point at maid Blood who's looking at a screen, the screen shows a clip of two people being married in a traditional way, looking close the person looks like him but the other person have their back to the [ camera] but you can hear them says:

[ hanii ~ I don't mind getting married with you a thousand times eheheh. Because I love you! ] As that voice spoke out, it sound familiar and not. Yet Maid blood look longingly and have a lovesick smile on his face.

[ Your only supposed to say I do! B-but--... I love you too...!! (｡・//ε//・｡)] The Groom Turns bright red, at that part maid blood clicked his tongue in disdain.

"stupid clone, say more! Stupid! Say you'll do anything for them! Lock them up! Stop them from approaching that spouse stealing rabbit! Cook him alive! Fucking Bastard kiss my spouse after killing and have blood on his hands! Hateful bastard! It's not even hygienic!! Pathetic shit" He complained as he shakes the screen. "I wanna burned that fucking love triangle tag... " He seems to try to punch something you can't see.

"... well it's probably cause your his spouse creation that made him act such way." The guardian sigh at the sight of Maid Blood.

"Hey you, stupid kid." Maid blood look up to you. "Haft of bit of you wish to not see your little knight die. The other wish to [ marry ] someone your not supposed to know. Kokoko... Do you know. That [ doll ] will kill you because [ Ritsu Sakuma, Kuma ] is supposed to find the world of Darling Dolls-- [Phantom] and in which will lead them to the location of the Dollmaker.... Yet [ Kuma ] have left astray for his mission, others from his world would not like it even one bit, after all... Dolls are quite one who don't like being left by their owner, being abandoned is something they all can't take so lightly." He stood up and went to get some stuff from side of the gallery.

" Stop being noisy." Morpho sighs as his little fun is gone now.

"Since you don't want me to be noisy, I will be more noisy! Kokoko." Maid blood appear again but holding a huge mochi of someone familiar yet not face being chibified. "Anyway. Stupid kid. [ Kuma ] is being killed over and over again by that lunatic--"

" Just like you. How hilarious. " (Morpho guardian)

" --and his listening to all the thoughts in your head since the very beginning you arrive here. Now what ever chances you wish. It's gone now... That person... Don't dream someone like him go ever change. The world of his doesn't allow it. They love villain like him, and it will stay that way." he hugs the huge mochi as he seat in the floor.

"lucky you, you can still save Kuma of yours. Bye bye, stupid kid. It seems the hatless hatter finally caught you."

He then point at the strings that you don't notice is tied on you.

" To begin with... That annoying guy cannot have an expense to have the likes of [ Blood Mad Hatter] out of his au... Cause, if your gone off the twisted world. Hatless psycho can access the gallery... It's the deal with my love... How charming of them. " He sigh Dreamily as he mentioned his beloved.

" Your not from that au, but your life is created for that au. My beloved likes to pry into business they shouldn't care, you see. Your their way to get hold of the twisted world from inside out... You already spend many years there... You have taken root in that world and soon their plan will work. How amazing, as expected of them! " He once again cannot help but admire their darling plan.

"Have fun having two versions of your punishment. Ahahaha-- " before you know it something -- no someone dragged you back to the jewel representing the twisted world.

"Can you not?" The Morpho guardian stared at the one who abandoned his name who's hugging one of the merchandise of his spouse.

"What? Your face is fucking ugly, don't stare at me like that. Disgusting." The nameless one look at his landlord in disdain.

"Whatever, clean the whole gallery again or I'm going to put some tags again."

"HEY! YOU BASTARD! YOU CAN'T DO THAT!!"

#twisted Wonderland AU: madness mansion! Helter Spider!!#👤btw the one who made those interaction and speaking are sometimes that hatless guy #🦋get off the tags you lik shit #👤as if ill listen to you.#🦋stop warning them. just because they are you beloved *child* you stop being delusional about it #👤fuck. how weird was it that ny own spouse made a copy for another me. they are still pretty ngl #🦋 what a simp statement #👤 im going to laugh at your ass once its your turn. dumbass #🦋oh? my turn. ill be worse than blood mad hatter then. i refuse to mangle to those who will distract my work #👤what a brocon coded you are #🦋thanks. I'm proud bros before hoes #👤ANYWAY. DEAR READER IS FUCK UP. AHAHAHA. like the chance you want with hatless bitch

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nokingsonlyfooles · 10 months

Text

Masks Off...

Our system of education is rotten, worldwide, across the board. It has been rendered little more than a system for tagging people who seem like they'd be good workers and might deserve enough money for basic goods and services - or, in a few cases, for certifying that you're rich and you deserve everything you have. (You see, ethnic people don't get in because we'd rather they do those jobs that don't get enough money for basic goods and services. Or they can be slaves!)

Affirmative action was a nice band-aid so that folks in the US didn't have to look directly at the necrotizing flesh of what classism and capitalism have done. It's gone now.

The neoliberal interests who are supposed to be our friends are not gonna scramble to fix this, those that bother to move at all will be trying to cover it back up. If you wanna get this fixed, strike while the wound is visible and do not shut up about it.

Your worth as a human being - and even your ability to work yourself to death like they want you to - is nothing to do with your ability to get into and complete a university education. Nothing is fair, and we do not live in a meritocracy. People should be able to access reliable information and help to learn things, and people should have enough to live - these are both public services, not Squid Games. I daresay having enough to live might make it easier for you to focus and learn things, but what do I know? I couldn't hack it at a university and I burned out. I still learn things, but that doesn't count.

If they don't pull a veil over this situation fast (and they may not) it's going to get real obvious how fucked up everything is. If student loan forgiveness doesn't go through, it's gonna be even more obvious.

This is the way it's been for a long time, okay? It's not new. But it doesn't have to be like this. Please don't get so focused on how bad it is that you forget it doesn't have to be like this. Sometimes, even now, we can hold politicians accountable and force them to act in our best interest.

And sometimes we can tear things down and build them back better, too.

#affirmative action #us supreme court #i failed the squid game #but my partner is doing very well #and we will not acknowledge that i'm helping him play because that would make it seem like i have value too #why would we offer you a place in society just because you live here and help hold it together? get a JOB!

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nono-bunny · 6 months

Note

Why do you people even watch ATLA if makes so many of you miserable?

WHEN did I ever say it makes me miserable lmao

So. First of all? I literally first watched/got to know this show as a kid alongside my little brother, tuning in to random episodes rather than watching it all in order on my own. I always respected it and thought it was cool, but it took me a bit to watch it all properly, and by that time I already watched the finale, had the inkling it was dumb, and when I watched everything that feeling was only strengthed

Like? Idk who you are but your question seems to imply you're a new fan coming in from the 2020 ATLA renaissance, and it's important to remember that's super not the case for a lot people. I grew up with the show! I keep rewatching it every couple of years! Not because I hate it and I want to get mad, but because I do genuinely love like, 90% of it- and most of the stuff I hate about it, and a lot of my anger towards it was born MUCH later than my first watchthrough. When you watch something you enjoy a whole bunch of times and get familiar with it, of course you're also gonna become aware of its flaws! And, as much as I hate having to say it, Aang as a character IS the show's biggest flaw- he doesn't carry his weight as the show's protagonist, and kid me could sense it, while adult me can now look at him and say WHY.

ATLA fan culture is a bit problematic in the sense that it's been put on such a high pedestal that it can seem weird when people criticize it, but like? There are parts of it that are DESERVING of criticism, heck, pretty much all of the people who worked on it who've spoken about it in the years since would agree that there are some stuff that either didn't age well or weren't well made in the first place, like- being critical of something or hating some aspects of it doesn't mean you hate the whole thing!!!

Fr if I didn't enjoy ATLA at all I wouldn't ever bother rewatching it, or engaging with the fandom, or consuming fan content... But I obviously do, given that I'm here speaking about it YEARS after I first saw it, because it resonated with me, and I love it! Even if I'm still mad as fuck about a lot of stuff that happened in the franchise over the years (and the finale, the can't be stressed enough), that doesn't detract from the fact that there are still more stuff about it that I love than I don't... Even if I tend to talk about the bad stuff because they make me ranty and I have to release all my thoughts somewhere else I'd explode lol. Btw, before I started being more active on Tumblr I'd just bombard my best friend with my thoughts on shit they'd never seen/played/experience so. Tumblr is genuinely just a good place for this because sometimes people see my thoughts and agree, sometimes they don't and it's all chill honestly

Watching ATLA for the most part makes me really happy, actually! But there are a selection of episodes that make me mad, and like? If you're not up to seeing less stellar reviews of the show, THERE'S A REASON I TAG EVERYTHING!! You can just block "anti___" tags, I respect that not everyone agrees with my takes on the show, and I specifically take care that they won't have to see them if they don't want to, so, really... Unless you ACTUALLY wanna have a discussion about my issues with the show, wouldn't it have been so much easier to just block either me or the tags and move on rather than question my enjoyment of something I dearly love for like, no reason whatsoever? Oh well whatever this was kinda a funny ask to get, thanks for the laugh lol "you people" cracked me up

#atla #avatar the last airbender #atla critical #anti aang

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drawing-way-outside-the-lines · 1 year

Text

➖ Mature content, 18+ ➖ check the trigger tags each time ➖

Chapter 17 - Lost Love. Episode 3.

---------Andy's point of view-----------

*I chuckled hoarse as I stood outside Daniel's bedroom door, he was clearly having company over, as I heard a hoarse female voice somewhat scream the words 'harder harder!!' As I knocked the door, I grinned by how fast they both got quiet.* DANIEL… YOU GOT VISITORS! *I chuckled cheekily* We will wait down stairs. *I shook my head, we had expected him to be all alone and bored, here he was having the time of his life, and I had chosen to interrupt him. I grinned wide. Karma.*

-------Daniel's point of view--------

Sparkle: Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck!!!

Daniel: *She had been repeating that word for the past minute as she nervously tried her best to get her clothes on*

Sparkle: Do you think he heard me??

Daniel: *I nodded softly and chuckled cheekily* I'm pretty sure the whole town heard you!

Sparkle: Shit!!! He is gong to choke you!!

Daniel: *I chuckled softly* I'll just move to another country. I think I still have a suitcase under the bed.

Sparkle: NOT FUNNY DANIEL!! *Her eyes pierced me*

Daniel: *I quickly jumped into my army shorts and sighed softly* Look, he didn't burst through the door, right? So I'm pretty sure he didn't hear it was you. So, let's just take it easy. I will go downstairs to try to figure if he is on to us or not. Just chill.

Sparkle: *She frowned deep* Yeah, like that's gonna happen. I'm out of here!

Daniel: *I couldn't help but laugh loudly* Where you going?

Sparkle: *She pointed towards the balcony* You still have that old rope ladder don't you?

Daniel: Yah, but… its pretty fucked, and not safe at all…

Sparkle: I'll take my chances. It's better than staying here watching you getting beat up.

Daniel: *I shook my head* I'm still bigger than him.

Sparkle: *She rolled here eyes and sounded irritated* Yeah… but Andy knows how to fight!

Daniel: *I shook my head lightly*Just, do me a favour, stay here, relax. I will go downstairs and send them home. 15 minutes max and I will be back. I promise.

Sparkle: *She scoffed and rolled her eyes* Fine!

Daniel: *As I made my way down stairs I could hear Evan curse as he had just stepped on an old banana peel. A banana I had indeed used to pleasure Sparkle with, I couldn't help but grin*

Evan: *His eyes were thundering* Daniel… seriously?! *He gestured big with his arms*

Daniel: *I looked at Andy waving a used condom around on a pen, and it was very hard for me to not laugh. in fact the only reason I held it back, was the fact that that condom had also been inside Sparkle.*

Evan: *Cursed a bit to himself, then looked at me slightly concerned* Are you okay man?

Daniel: *I nodded softly and shrugged* You know me…

Evan: Yeah… but this?! *He once again gestured with his arms to the sides* you could have called…

Daniel: *I sighed softly as the grin on my lips disappeared* Evan, you haven't exactly been feeling great these days, I didn't want to bother you.

Evan: *His eyes turned from concerned to annoyed* That's a bad excuse, and you know it. You know I will always find time or energy to help you out.

Daniel: *I nodded softly and grabbed one of the black bags from the bag roll* Look, I can take care of this myself…

Andy: *He chuckled hoarse* Yeah… all you wanna get back to taking care of is your lady friend upstairs

Daniel: *I searched his face, but so far he seemed far too amused to have any idea it was Sparkle hiding upstairs, so I chuckled casually and shrugged* Ah she can wait… I made her too tired anyway… *I casually started scooping some empty beer cans down the bag and suddenly noticed the hair ties on the table, one of them with a small pony on it. I swallowed deep and looked nervously at Evan, who had kept his eyes planted unamused on me for the past minute*

Evan: *He grunted slightly annoyed, grabbed the hair tie and the panties fast* I will just throw this under my bed, in case she needs her stuff, she knows where to find them! *As he left the room I turned towards Andy and sighed*

Daniel: I'm sorry, okay, I didn't mean to ruin your night.

Andy: *He shook his head lightly* It's fine… it was already sorta ruined. Don't sweat it *he smiled softly and pointed at the ceiling* So who is she?

Daniel: *I had no idea how to answer, I really didn't want to lie to him, so I sighed relieved as Evan returned, but as he started insisting we all had to clean up before they would leave again, I started worrying about Sparkle. But I had no great protest comebacks, so I decided to just make the best of it by lighting a joint. About an hour later we were finally done, and Andy insisted we would relax with a joint and beer before they were to leave. So it all in all took 2 hours in total before they left again. I sighed softly and shook my head, quickly making my way up to my room, but as there were no sign of Sparkle I praised the fact that at least she had made an escape. I made my way back downstairs, grabbing an ice cold beer from the fridge, and thought to myself I could need some chilled night air on top of it all, so I quickly made it down to the first floor and out into our back garden so to speak, as we don't per say have a back garden, it's more just a path of grass with some high pine trees. I was leaning up against one of the trees as I sipped my beer.*

Sparkle: So you didn't even bring me any?

Daniel: *I splurted the beer out and looked at her surprised* What the hell?! *I chuckled lightly* I thought you left?

Sparkle: *Grabbed my beer and took a big sip* Well I would have jackass if that fucking robe ladder didn't break! *She pointed at a big purple mark on her right back thigh, clearly disappearing somewhere under her very short shorts* Besides, I didn't get my shoes with me, so even if I could probably limp home, I wouldn't want to boil my feet on the hot asphalt. *She chuckled softly*

Daniel: *I shook my head* So you been hiding out here for two hours? Why the fuck didn't you just call me? I could have come faster!

Sparkle: *Rolled her eyes* No phone dipshit, I forgot it on the terrasse.

Daniel: *I couldn't help but laugh loudly*

Sparkle: *She punched my upper arm hard and pointed her tongue at me before taking another sip of the beer* I'm in a lot of pain! Could you just behave for once?!

Daniel: *I peeked at the few cm of butt cheek I could get a glimpse of under her shorts* Well, at least it's your favourite colour.

Sparkle: DANIEL! *The second punch actually hurt a bit I have to admit, she was quite strong, which you wouldn't expect with those skinny arms, of course I didn't mention that, I had already pushed it far enough. So instead I lifted her up, pinning her against one of the tall pine trees, moaning as she wrapped her legs around my waist and made my boner rub against her*

----------Andy's point of view-------------

*We had just made it inside the tv room, and I already found myself pinned against the wall, Evan biting and licking the side of my neck, getting more and more demanding in his movements.* Evan…. please…. *my voice was hoarse and fragile, it was so hard for me to ask him to slow down, so I didn't, I just gave in*

Evan: *He threw me on the bed and quickly pulled off my pants, and in the same quick movement getting his own off, moaning deep as he pressed my dick against his hole*

Andy: Woah woah woah! STOP! *I moved a bit under him, to try to wiggle myself lose, suddenly feeling hot in a very uncomfortable way in my body*

Evan: Andy, I fucking beg you. *He let himself fall down beside me in the bed, panting for air.* I'm so fucking hot inside, I can't take this any more.

Andy: *I sighed softly and rolled over to my side, planting a soft hand on his chest* Try to just breathe for a while, will you? I don't want your first time to be something rushed as it was with me and *I frowned deep* I love you, and I want that to show…

Evan: *He nodded softly and sighed deep* I know Andy… I'm so sorry *a sadness appeared in his eyes* I just… maybe you could just touch me a bit… as you have done before…. you know…

❌Short sex scene START - readers must be 18+❌ ❌ (To skip sex scene, scroll till next marking) ❌

Andy: *I smiled softly and nodded agreeing I knew very well what he meant, even if he still couldn't find the nerves to say it out loud. So I slowly slided one of my legs between his, letting a finger twirl his hole as I started nibbling his nipples with my teeth. His soft and long moans made me feel intoxicated, I always love the sound of me pleasuring him. As I slipped my finger inside me, he welcomed me, this time he didn't seem as tight as the other times, and I smiled at the fact that he finally seemed to have learned how to loosen up a bit, which would only help him in the future when I one day will enter him. Enter him. The words sounded so sweet in my head, and I couldn't help but let a small moan slip out of me and another finger inside of him. He moaned deep and longing, which only made me long for him even more.*

Evan: *He arched his back and grabbed my dick, rubbing it firmly as he licked his lips and looked at me hungry* God you are so fucking sexy! *His voice was steamy and shaky* please… just the tip…. I want you to cum inside me…. please

Andy: *My heart started racing fast. FUCK!!! Did he just say that?! Or had my mind made it up on it's own?! DAMN!!! I shook my head and moaned deep* Evan… I can't…. I wont be able to hold back…. I don't wanna hurt you.

Evan: *He moaned impatiently* Andy… I think I might lose my mind…. please… I beg you… and I never begged for sex before. Just the tip… *he moaned deep ad pushed his ass closer to my hand so my fingers automatically reached deeper inside him, making him squirm like a worm on a hook. I couldn't believe what was happening in front of my eyes… I couldn't believe I could still manage to say no. He looked at me with begging eyes and bit his lip* I trust you… just the tip…

Andy: *To hell with it!!!! I ripped my tshirt off and slided my way down between his lips, gazing deep and loving in to his eyes* only the tip… and not until I'm ready to cum.

Evan: *He nodded agreeing, panting for air, and as I did I locked my free hand around both our dicks, rubbing them against each other as I started jerking us off, just the thought of cumming inside him made me close already!*

Andy: *I leaned down and kissed him passionately, slowly twirling my fingers inside him, enjoying the rapid moans from him, growing faster and faster, deeper and deeper, as he got closer to cumming. I love him so much, his face, the soft pearls of sweat in his beard stubbles, his half long sweaty hair, his amazing muscular body, his long arms, his unbelievably gorgeous eyes and lips, and his perfectly straight dick. Well, straight except when it comes to me. I moaned out loud and felt myself on the verge of cumming, so I quickly let go of our dicks and took a deep breath, speaking in a soft and calming voice* Just the tip… so you have to promise you will lay as still as possible, I'm not gonna de-virgin you tonight. Okay?

Evan: *He blushed bright red over his cheeks and nodded softly*

Andy: *I smiled softly and kissed his forehead gently* Take a deep breath… *As he did I slowly pressed my dick against his hole, moaning softly as I felt the tip of my dick peek inside him. He was unbelievably tight, and it only took me a split second to completely lose my mind over the feeling of the tightness around the head of my dick. So I started rubbing my shaft, fast, greedy, I needed to cum right now, before the pleasure would take over and make me fuck him like a rabbit. I moaned deep as I heard his moans grow into a gasping for air, feeling his back arch, so I pulled backwards a bit to prevent myself from reaching deeper inside him, still only letting my head just peek inside, feeling it twitch as I came.*

Evan: *He sent out a deep long moan as he came at the same time. Closing his eyes as his voice finally broke.*

Andy: *I slowly pulled out and licked the cum of his stomach, letting my body fall heavily down into the bed next to him. I observed him for a while, the sweat on his upper lip. A few strands of hair that had fallen into his face, which I gently picked up and brushed back into place* Are you okay? *My voice was soothing and full of love*

Evan: *He didn't answer, instead he rolled over to his side and squeezed his face against my chest*

Andy: *I smiled softly and kissed his hair. I guess it was answer enough for me. 2 minutes later he was fast asleep. I guess he could finally relax. We hadn't had sex the way he wanted, but we had been close enough. For now.*

#unicornmanes #Andycorn #Andy Shaw-Thompson #Sparkle Diamondsheart #Daniel Chase Hartwig #Evan Thompson

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zukkas · 1 year

Note

(Same anon that was asking about proship) I do agree that the boxes are somewhat stupid (I think that anti is also bad because it implies a negative opinion and being entirely against shipping). Could you speak on the nuance a bit further? I’m genuinely curious

You also probably shouldn’t censor words because it messes up the Tumblr filtering system for people who have the word proship filtered

i censored the words bc I didn't want them to end up in the tags/search bc i don't feel like having random people i don't know come on my post to lecture me about their stance when ive already made up my mind

as for why i have my stance specifically, first of all this is SUCH chronically online discourse that i really just don't wanna bother with it as much as i can avoid it. you say you're one of these to anyone outside of very specific internet circles and they look at you like you have 13 limbs

second of all, my main thing is to ship and let ship. even if I don't like a ship, even if i think it's "problematic" or whatever for any reasons, in the end it's a fictional ship, and if the shipper isn't hurting anyone with this ship, i just block the tag(s) and move on. i've seen a lot of antis have ships they don't like and try to justify not liking them by making them out to be problematic in some way (like, for example, saying narumayo from ace attorney is incest or pseudo-incest because the two characters are found family. i don't care for narumayo whatsoever but you don't have to make stuff up to justify not shipping something).

that being said, I don't think ships where the characters are related or an adult and a minor should be glorified as i've seen before. i don't know the people writing these and i have no way of knowing what they've been through and i know that writing these kinda fics for many is just a way to work through their trauma, but there comes a point where i think you have to look inward and ask yourself why am i writing this. what am i putting out into the world by writing this. is this actually helping me deal with the things I've been through or am i just hurting myself more by retraumatizing myself. and if you actually think pedophilia is "hot" or whatever, seek help. seek actual professional help and do not go near any children, ever. i don't care if they're fictional children, i don't care if she's actually 3000 years old and just looks like she's 9, children cannot consent, they do not have the mental capacity to do so in an informed manner.

as for ao3 censorship since that's so entrenched in this discourse, i don't think ao3 should have to remove anything that's not illegal. ao3 was created specifically to avoid this kinda censorship that fanfic authors have dealt with ever since being able to post fics online has been a thing. a lot of the stuff on there is repulsive to me as well, but i know some of the shit ive written would also be considered "problematic" by a lot of people, so where do you draw the line? there's so many edge cases and so many things to consider that it's a complete waste of time and resources for ao3. and it's an archive, for fucks sake. it's not meant to pass down judgment on what's moral and what's not, it's meant to archive. and if you don't agree with that, there's plenty of sites like ffnet and wattpad that do censor "problematic" shit, just go back to those.

im not looking to debate any of this, i've made up my mind so if you're gonna reply to this/send me an ask with an argument for your "side" you're just wasting your time

#asks #anon #tw discourse #tw incest mention #tw pedophila mention

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ceo-of-sloppy-men · 10 months

Text

You've Got Stars In Yer Eyes

Gay cowboys in space

Ship: Charles Smith/Arthur Morgan Rating: Mature Tags: Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, hurt/comfort, Arthur Morgan has TB (But gets better), Charles Smith is Protective, Sci-Fi medical nonsense, not canon compliant Summary:

Suffering from a bad case of TB and sure he's dying, Arthur Morgan boards a Colony Ship for the Western Frontier with the scattered remains of the Van der Linde Gang. Unfortunately, the doctor had neglected to turn on his antibiotic implant, so when he wakes from Cryostasis feeling much worse, he's convinced this is the end.

Thankfully, he's being overdramatic.

Fic Under Cut too

Layers, the doctor had prescribed. Like he was supposed to turn himself into a damn onion, so he had followed the doctor's order, bought a spot on the next Frontier Colony ship and fled like a damned coward. Even he could see where all of that was heading, even if it pained him to leave. Until he found himself in the prep rooms of said ship, holding a flimsy set of modesty-preserving clothes, staring at himself in the mirror. He'll have to buy a second locker just to store all of his clothes, not to mention the money he already spent on the space for his suitcase and checking his guns. At this rate, he'll be broke by the time he even makes it out to the western frontier.

It's for the best, he tells himself while beginning to strip down. He keeps his gaze firmly fixed on his boots in the chatter of the locker room, trying not to grumble to himself. He hadn't even bothered to check that Abigail and John had gotten on board with little Jack before Sadie pulled him onto their ship. He tries to remind himself that Hosea and Uncle are with them – that they'll keep them safe – but horror still licks at his mind, whispering that Micah could have easily tailed them. Who would have known that rat would have given Dutch over to the law? They should have gone after him, but what were they supposed to do when they barely mustered up enough of a distraction to pull Hosea away from the Pinkertons? Thank God Lenny had remembered to bring the med kit, or they would have lost both of the old guard that day.

"Oi, Arthur! You gonna get ready or just stare at yerself like a ghost?" Sean chuckles nervously next to him, nudging his shoulder.

"You could have gone ahead without me," Arthur huffs, suddenly drawn back into the locker room that smells heavily of antiseptic.

"And leave you? Oh no! Sadie would have my head – don't want to anger her; she's got enough on her hands with Molly anyway," Sean continues on, already dressed in his blue spacer uniform. Arthur can see the modesty slip peeking out from underneath his collar.

"Ya just gonna ogle me while I undress then?" Arthur gruffs, dumping his second shirt onto the bench.

"Nah, nah, I don't swing that a way," Sean backpedals, staring up at the ceiling. "Just wanna make sure you don't – you know." He makes a popping noise with his mouth.

"I ain't that weak," Arthur bristles as he tugs the modesty shirt on.

"Sure you ain't! That's not what I meant. Just don't wanna lose you in the crowd, is all," Sean shrugs, still talking to the ceiling.

Arthur grunts for lack of a better response and tugs his chaps off, hearing the alloy clink against the bench as he sets them down. Sean continues rambling on about losing him in the crowd and how they're finally heading out West. Thankfully, he minds his tongue and skirts around mentioning Dutch's name. The glare Arthur shoots him when he nearly does goes a long way. Eventually, Arthur's dressed in spacer blues and stuffing his clothes into a locker (thankfully, it fits into one once he burrito rolls a few garments). Sean follows him like a lost puppy dog as they make their way to the cryostasis chambers, listening to the assistant explain the procedure and what to expect. Arthur half listens, preoccupied with Hosea and Jack's wellbeing, as the assistant notes there are special procedures and spaces for the elderly and children. Hosea wasn't weak, but his cough still hasn't gone away. Thankfully Arthur can still pass as dead tired rather than dying, so there aren't extra questions or forms to fill out. Hopefully, Hosea is even allowed to proceed – Arthur can't imagine what would happen if they arrive and learn that they had left him a hundred years in the past with no way back. Even if it wasn't supposed to be too long, the ships will still be cannibalized for materials, giving them no way home.

A one-way trip to his final resting place.

"A brighten up, ya look like someone shit in yer boots," Sean points out, elbowing him in the ribs as they make their way over to the cryostasis pods.

"Leave him be, Sean. We've all had a rough couple of days," Sadie chimes in, catching up with them. Molly trails behind her, curled in on herself in dismay.

"I'll be alright," Arthur dismisses the concern, turning his attention to Molly. "Come on, let's get you in a pod. It'll help when you don't have to worry about him no more."

"We're leaving him," she whispers quietly.

"I know, but we'll be alright. We have to be for him. He paid for our freedom with his life; we gotta make that worth somethin'," Arthur reminds her, speaking softly and gently guiding her to a pod with his hand on her shoulder.

"I can't leave him, Arthur," Molly echoes, leaning into him.

"We ain't got a choice, Molly. We'll be alright, I promise. We'll be alright," Arthur attempts to comfort her. He was never good at all of this, but he knew Dutch best. She needs someone who knew him best now more than ever, even after how he treated her in the past few months, even after everything. She had every right to mourn the loss with as much support as she requires.

He makes sure she's buckled in, and her stasis has been safely triggered before buckling himself in. The attendant comes around and checks everyone before triggering the full process. He tugs on Arthur's restraints for a moment, adjusting them slightly and makes a comment about the fresh air being good for him after seeing his eyebags. Then he freezes the row and sends them into storage. Arthur lets the cool chill of stasis fill his bones as he takes a sluggish breath, doing his best not to cough. Thankfully, he's under before his Tuberculosis decides to rear its ugly head.

<hr>

Everything hurts. His legs, his arms, his eyeballs, not to mention his ears are ringing, and the world is far too bright. As the cryostasis thaws around him, the overwhelming urge to cough rears its ugly head. He reaches for the cover of the cryostasis chamber, having already fumbled his buckles off, only to land face-first on the floor. He vaguely registers someone catching his fall and lowering him to the ground, but he could have easily caught himself. The world spins around him, coming in and out of focus as there's a rush of panic. He coughs and coughs, his chest heaving to expel fluid that isn't there. He's sure there's blood dribbling down his chin as he curls into a pathetic ball, clutching his sides. Damn, that antibiotic implant! The doctor had said it'd work during cryostasis, that he'd wake up fine and dandy. Leave it to him to get a faulty implant with no way of going back and demanding a refund. It hadn't been cheap, either; he'd almost been unable to afford his ticket on the ship just to pay for it – if Sadie hadn't given him a little extra, he would have been royally fucked. Yet, here he is, wasting it by dying on the cold floor of the cryostasis storage in a blue jumpsuit. He's vividly aware he's shaking from the cold, trying to curl in on himself further for warmth.

Something warm and soft presses against his face, the smell of antiseptic and plastic filling his nose as he struggles to breathe between coughs. "Breath," someone tells him with a voice like rumbling mountains that cuts through the panic around him. He does his best to comply as something sharp pierces his arm. The coughing subsides slowly, whatever medicine he was giving finally allowing him to peer at the blurry world around him. Kneeling over him, pressing a plastic mask to his face gently, is a dark-skinned man with jet-black hair. The sterile lights of the colony ship shine behind him, illuminating him like an angel. Maybe he is an angel come to take him away? Wouldn't that be something, to be free from this wretched life with gentle hands that could rival Heaven itself?

Wait.

No.

He's not – this isn't – if this is to be the angel that takes him away, this isn't right. He should be She. He's not gay. That is not what is happening right now. He does not find this man attractive, no matter how fast his heart is racing – his heart is only racing because he's dying! Yes. That is the perfectly logical explanation, and the lighting is not perfect, illuminating him in a halo of golden glow. He's just dying, and this poor sucker is just trying to prolong his life. No matter how pretty his eyes are.

"Hold this," the man says, pressing Arthur's hand to the mask.

He complies feebly, feeling his hand continue to tremble. The other man tosses a blanket over top of him as Arthur starts to hear Sadie attempting to calm Molly down while Sean explains to Javier and Bill what's going on. The other man drags a scanner over him, muttering to himself before draping a thermal blanket around his trembling body.

"Is his implant supposed to be off?" he asks over Arthur's body to the group of onlookers.

"It's off?" Sadie panics, her attention snapping to him.

"I'll take that as no," Charles grunts, clicking something on the scanner. He addresses Arthur, hand on the edge of the blanket:

"I'm going to activate your implant. It'll be a slight pinch."

Arthur tries to fumble out something, but his lips feel cold and heavy, and his tongue feels entirely too large for his mouth. The man continues anyway, pulling the blanket back just enough to press the scanner against his side between two of his ribs. Arthur whimpers at the jolt of pain that rushes through his body, followed by the vague sensation of warmth quickly spreading through his body. Seemingly satisfied, the blanket is pulled back over him, and the other man packs up the emergency med kit.

As he's attempting to help Arthur to his feet, the attendant and assistant come rushing over with panicked looks. The assistant looks sheepish, refusing to meet anyone's gaze as she stares at the floor.

"We heard there was an emergency! What happened?" the attendant demands, looking from person to person for an explanation.

Sadie jumps in quickly before the attendant gets suspicious:

"My friend here had an implant to keep an eye on a dormant virus in his body. The cryostasis must have deactivated it, but we're alright now. He –"she points at the unnamed man – "acted quickly and reactivated it. It should be under control now."

"Ah, well, is it contagious?" the attendant asks, eyeing Arthur warily.

"No, no, nothing to worry about. He just always looks like this – we've known him for ages and never got sick. Doctor back at the station said even if it did awaken, it wouldn't be viral. We're good, promise," Sean adds, attempting to help.

"Very well… but I recommend visiting the town's doctor before heading out to your designated settlement location. Just to be on the safe side," the attendant looks like he wants to prescribe more, but someone calls for his assistance, and he quickly hurries off to help.

Everyone breathes a collective sigh of relief as he disappears from sight. Arthur attempts to stand on his own and nearly lands face-first on the ground. Sean laughs, catching him with the other man's help and tossing Arthur's arm over his shoulders.

"Come on, big man, let's get yer clothes before ya decide ta make friends with the floor," Sean jokes, starting off toward the Men's Changeroom.

"Ya can't even carry crates in a shipyard. Ya can't carry me," Arthur protests, unintentionally dragging his feet as he stumbles forward.

"That's why I'm helping," the other man chimes in, still firmly holding his arm.

Arthur's head swims at the weight and warmth of his hand, trying desperately to shove every last thought down into the depths of his mind. He can't think of a solid argument to protest, moving with his head thick in the fog of this man's voice. So, he feebly lets them stumble forward together toward the Changerooms, the others following closely behind. All he can manage is to croak out:

"I never got yer name."

"You didn't tell me yours, either," the man points out, unintentionally dodging the question.

"Arthur," he answers faster than he should. He winces at the pain in his throat left by talking.

"It's nice to meet you, Arthur. I'm Charles," he informs him, smiling sweetly. Arthur could melt into that smile and stay there all summer – does this planet even have summer? Doesn't matter. He'd make a summer just to stay in Charles' smile… Platonically, of course.

"Well, it's nice ta meet ya, Charles! I'm Sean; the rest of 'em ya saw freaking out over Arthur nearly dyin' were Sadie, Molly, Javier and Bill – kind of a mixed bag of nuts if you ask me. But what colony are ya heading to? We could use someone who can act fast in a crisis, especially 'cause Arthur seems ta like ya," Sean suggests, butting into the conversation with a shit-eating grin.

Arthur tries to act like he doesn't light up like a Christmas tree, sputtering out his indignity at Sean's seemingly innocent implications. He didn't need a possible friendship – or at least acquaintanceship – ruined because of Sean's big mouth. He especially didn't need to make the guy helping carry him uncomfortable.

"I'm headed up to Mellow Hollow[IS1] ," Charles answers, humouring Sean's antics.

"Well, hold on just a moment! Shouldn't we be askin' Hosea before inviting people to join us?" Bill complains gruffly from behind them.

"Oh, I'm sure he won't mind! Besides, we could use the extra manpower – and if Charles here is also heading up to Mellow Hollow, then it's the least we can do to travel together instead of letting him wander off by himself. Safer in groups, remember?" Sean argues over his shoulder.

"I'm a good hunter; if you're worried about me being dead weight," Charles adds. Arthur blinks at him, stupidly forgetting to hide his shock. Charles just shrugs at him.

"I still say we should ask Hosea," Bill grumbles.

"And we say you should stop drinking," Javier deadpans, picking the gunk out from under his nails.

Bill huffs, about to argue, when Sean loudly announces their arrival at the Changerooms. Arthur is sat down on a bench in the middle of the room as Sean fetches his clothes, unceremoniously dumping them in his lap. He does most of his dressing on the bench, staring down at the floor. Until Charles has him lift his arm while he's shirtless so he can check on his implant. Arthur tries not to stare at Charles' chest as the other man presses a scanner against his ribs and makes some sort of satisfied noise. He can hear his heart pounding, and he's certain Charles can hear it too. It terrifies him how off-balance Charles makes him feel, from the gentle touches to his strong frame inches from his face. He can see the swathe of dark hair carpeting his front and trailing down to his pants, swallowing thickly at the sight. He shouldn't be looking at this stuff. He isn't gay. Not in the slightest. He has no attraction whatsoever to men and never has. That one time with Albert Mason in the woods was just because the other man wanted to repay him, and they were in the middle of nowhere. Even if he can still taste him on his lips.

Charles moves away far too quickly, leaving Arthur to stumble through the buttons on his shirt and pull his jacket again, swaddling himself back into the layers from a hundred years ago. He feels entirely too cold and too hot at the same time, tugging the thermal blanket back over himself in an effort to keep warm.

"Can you stand?" Charles asks, coming over to check on him once he's fully dressed.

"I can try," Arthur grunts, taking Charles's hand to stand from the bench. He wobbles on his feet a little, but the ground doesn't immediately try to become his bed, so he takes it as a victory.

"Think I'm good."

"Alright," Charles says, nodding toward the exit. Sean, Bill and Javier have collected the last of their things, already going through check-out.

A hand hovers behind Arthur's back as he walks, and he can't bring himself to brush it away.

Charles offers to carry his satchel and saddle for him. Stubbornly, Arthur tries to carry it himself and nearly winds up face-planting again. Leading to Charles carrying his saddle for him (much to Arthur's dismay at feeling useless). Charles gives him his satchel to carry without Arthur having to say a word.

Arthur can't help the sigh of relief that escapes him when he finds everyone safe and sound, tending to the horses and packing the wagons. The sun beats down on his face as he watches little Jack run around and explain excitedly at the alien landscape while Abagail watches warily. John follows Jack around, making sure he stays out of trouble – the first real sign Arthur has seen of him stepping up to be a father to his son. There’s a bittersweet taste on his tongue when he remembers Issac, quickly distracting himself by focusing harder on the gang. Sean is already bounding around Hosea, a bottle in one hand and a grin on his face. Charles is still carrying his saddle as they approach the group, Hosea lighting up instantly and shoeing Sean away when he notices their approach. Arthur doesn’t expect the hug he’s pulled into, but one moment he’s standing loosely, and the next, Hosea is squeezing the life out of him.

“Hey, Dad, I missed ya too,” Arthur wheezes, patting his back awkwardly.

“I knew there was something wrong with your implant!” Hosea starts the moment he lets go of Arthur. “You should have let me check before we left!”

“Sorry, but we didn’t exactly have the time,” Arthur argues half-heartedly. He knows Hosea’s right.

“Well, at least Sean and Sadie tell me that our near friend here had a brain. Thank you for helping,” Hosea turns, addressing Charles now. He moves to hold out his hand but laughs when he realizes Charles’ hands are full. Instead, he reaches for the saddles.

“Here, let me help you.”

“I’ve got it,” Charles dismisses him, readjusting his grip on the saddles.

“Well, there ya go. Alright then. I’m Hosea – just so ya know. Sean says yer heading up to Mellow Hollow like the rest of us. From what I hear, he’s already extended an invitation to you; however, consider this a formal one: you’re free to join us if you so please,” Hosea offers, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

“Sure. Would be better than headin’ up alone,” Charles shrugs noncommittally. He glances over to the horse stables, where assistants are carefully unloading the various livestock and other animals aboard the ship.

“I need to get my horse, Taima first, though.”

“That’s alright; Arthur has to get his as well. Off you two go; we’ll grab your luggage for you and get it packed away – with a last name, of course. If ya don’t mind,” Hosea asks.

“Smith. Luggage number 245808,” Charles supplies before starting off toward the horse stables.

“Don’t just stand there looking dumb, Arthur. Go get your horse too!” Hosea laughs, giving Arthur a playful shove.

Arthur stumbles slightly, catching himself quickly as he hurries after Charles, starting to feel a little better. He keeps the thermal blanket wrapped around him as he catches up to Charles and slows to the ambling pace he’s walking at. Collecting the horses is an easy task. The hard part is when he tries to mount Buell, only to have a mini coughing fit in the saddle. Charles rides up to him, patting his back gently as he works it out of his system.

“You sure you’re able to ride?” Charles asks, concern evident in his voice.

“Might be a good idea if I ride in a wagon. Already fell off my horse while ridin’ once. Don’t wanna do that again to this old boy,” Arthur admits, patting Buell on the neck.

“I’ll ride with you; I’m still trying to regain my bearings from cryostasis,” Charles says, sliding out of Taima’s saddle and offering Arthur a hand down.

He knows he should be able to get down on his own and that he definitely shouldn’t act like a blushing mess about this. He curses himself for not just being unable to ride his own damned horse but for needing help to even get out of the saddle. Charles doesn’t seem to mind, making sure he’s safely on the ground before taking Taima’s reigns and heading back to the wagons. Arthur takes Buell’s reigns and follows after him, trying not to focus on any of this. Charles is just being friendly, and he just likes being friendly with Charles. That’s it. That’s all this is. He’s not gay. Not in the slightest.

The duo doesn’t even have to say a word about riding in a wagon. The reigns to one of the wagons are all but thrust into their hands the moment they reach the gang. Feeling relieved that he doesn’t have to explain why he wants to ride in a wagon, Arthur climbs up into the front with Charles and lets Charles hold the reigns. He fixes his hat on his head and stares out across the vast landscape. It’s sparsely forested out here, a sea of green and a small town not too far from the landing pads. Small mountains and rolling hills are between the trees, leading out West toward the future. The ship has already been partially cannibalized before anyone was awoken from cryostasis, and the back of their wagon is loaded with materials to establish a settlement.

With the sun still rising behind them, Charles flicks the reigns, and the wagon jolts forward.

#charthur #rdr2 fanfic #arthur morgan #charles smith #arthur morgan x charles smith #sci fi au #space au #ao3 link

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