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russellsppttemplates · 7 months

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We're a couple of idiots, aren't we? (Charles Leclerc)

You had always been there to see Charles race and you wouldn't let your fight interfere with that

Note: english is not my first language. I'm not the best at writing angst pieces, but I hope this one is decent enough!

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Tw: family issues (alludes to the caregiver necessities), couple fight

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog

It all began when you came home later than expected, the tiredness evident in your eyes as you paced your bag down on the sofa and allowed yourself to rest for a little, "Hey, amour", Charles whispered, testing to see if you were awake as he walked inside the living room, "hey", you said, patting the seat next to you.

Kissing your forehead, Charles sat next to you, "how was your day?", he asked, rubbing your thigh, "exhausting", you sighed, "and the next few are going to be even worse. I probably won't be home for dinner tomorrow anyway".

Charles felt uneasy, squirming around in his seat. You had been working a lot, your family also needed you on their side since your grandparents needed more assistance these days, so you and Charles haven't been able to spend that much time together. And wether it was the fact that you're used to being around eachother or the fact that the season was not going as expected, Charles felt like he hadn't spent enough time with the person he considered his safe and happy place.

"You have been very busy, I feel like I've hardly spent time with you", Charles noted, and maybe it was a seemingly honest comment that wasn't intended to be taken as harmful as you did.

"I know I've not been home, Charles, you think I don't feel that too? I know we haven't spent much time together just the two of us, but it's not been easy! Everyone needs me here, there and everywhere at the same time, and I also need time for me!", you let out.

Unexpectedly, your words also impacted Charles in a way you didn't think they would, "I know you've been busy, but we also need to spend time together, no? Or is our relationship not something we should invest time on? In a relationship, we both need eachother", he gulped. A weird and new feeling sat in his chest, like he was pressuring you and that he was burdening you.

"We do, but we also need to let eachother have some time, too!", you said, feeling anger, sadness, and overall tiredness from your recent days, "I'm going to bed", you mumbled, getting up and heading for your shared bedroom.

The energy you had left in your body was only enough to allow you to wash your face, noticing the dull and dark tone as you quickly rubbed some moisturiser on, grabbing your pyjamas to out them on and lay in bed, taking a painkiller for the growing headache.

When Charles finally go to the bedroom, he noticed you were already asleep on your side of the bed, carefully walking along the side so he could kiss your forehead before he too got ready for bed.

By the time the next morning arrived, Charles had ready left, and when you grabbed your phone, notifications from various WhatsApp groups popped up.

Mum + Dad

Can you go by grandma's house today? She was complaining of some pain and we can't remember if her meds box is sorted out or not.

Ferrari GP Weekend

Okay, just to make sure I'm not leaving anyone out: Y/N, you're not coming this weekend, right?

Since your family had been needing you to spend more time with them and at home, you had already said that you weren't sure you'd be joining them for that Grand Prix, and last night's fight settled the subject.

Texting both of the groups, you got up and got ready for the day, already knowing it was going to be a tough one.

You and Charles didn't fight a lot, at least not like this. Usually, you always found a way to talk about things and sort them out. So even this was new territory, not having talked about the subject and finding a common ground, because the situation you both left it at the night before was not the one to have.

Throughout the day, you hopefully texted Charles saying that you'd try to be home so you could talk to eachother before he left later on the evening, and while you intended to keep it, you had to text him again

To Charles

I'm sorry, but I don't think I'll be home until nighttime. My grandma needs me and it's going to take a while.

Have a safe flight. Can you text me when you land, please? Love you ✨️

True to your word, you sat in your bedroom with the moon already shinning through the windows and showcasing perfectly Charles' bedside table with none of his rings, watch and bracelets where he usually put them when he was at the house.

"Why did I arrive to the paddock today only to find out that you are not joining me this weekend?", Francisca said over the phone, apparently not even bothering to wish you a good morning, even though it clearly wasn't one.

"Because I've been the busiest bee ever under the sun, and I also had a fight with Charles, and I need to sleep for three days straight to recover", you replied back, noticing the change in Pierre's girlfriend's tone.

"Oh", she added, "I'm sorry, it's just that you're always here and I haven't been able to talk to him properly yet, maybe it's a good thing I haven't yet", she admitted.

One thing you liked about her, was how honest she was with you, and you needed it right now, "do you think I should go? We left the subject hanging and it's not something light we can just solve over the phone. And besides, I've always been there for these races, and he deserves as much support as he can get", you asked, chewing on your bottom lip as you waited for her answer.

"I have no idea why you fought, nor do I want to know unless you feel comfortable in telling me, but I do know that you're made for eachother, so if your heart tells you to come to the race, you should", she advised and you could hear the smile on her voice, "besides, I love your company, so it's a win win".

From all the times you had previously travelled with Charles, you had become acquainted and a pro a listing what you needed for the race weekends, so packing was easy and quick: two changes of clothes for both colder and warmer weather, basic toiletries bag in a backpack with entertainment and snacks for the flight.

The early hours allowed you to get to the airport without any traffic and make it to the gate with enough time to spare so you could grab a coffee to go.

Francisca knew you were coming, and after having a conversation with your family, you explained to them how the whole situation was putting pressure not only on you but also on your relationship with Charles. As you expected, they were not aware of how the situation was on your side and sat down with you so you could find a better arrangement.

Arriving at the airport of destination, you quickly found the transport line that would be taking you to the closest stop near the paddock, gradually seeing fans get inside as the stops approached the track site.

You followed them in, wanting to go as unnoticed as possible as you walked along them.

"I just saw on Instagram that Charles had left his hotel a while ago, so he should be here any minute now", a young woman around your age commented with her friends, stopping by the benches you were sitting in. Turns out you were waiting for the same person after all.

"Is it okay if we sit here?", one of them asked kindly, "Oh, you're Y/N", one of the girls said.

Nodding, you pushed your backpack to rest near your legs, "of course you can sit", you smiled, still not used to the fact that fans often recognised your face.

"Thanks!", she scurried nervously, urging her friends to sit, seeing their surprised faces as they looked at you, "Also, I'm sorry, I'm sure this is weird for you, that I know your name and you don't know mine, I- we didn't expect to find you here", she apoligised, finally sitting down.

"It's okay, unless you're going to turn out to be come crazy stalker fan, I think we will be fine", you smiled, hoping they would catch the joke and relax a little.

"No no no!", they all said, smiling when you smiled back, "but, may I ask what you're doing here? I mean, don't you have an all access pass?", one of them wondered as she sat next to you.

"I'm surprising Charles, actually", you added, feeling like saying anything else would not only be violating yours and Charles' privacy, but also allowing the creation of rumours you wouldn't want, "I wasn't originally coming to see him race, but some things cleared up on my calendar so I thought I'd surprise him", you finished, seeing them smile, "do you come to watch races regularly?", you asked, changing the subject hopefully subtly enough that they wouldn't notice too much.

Conversation was flowing easily, really, they seemed like really nice girls and it never felt invasive, so the time you had to wait went by quickly, hearing people call your boyfriend's name.

You could notice his presence anywhere, that was a given. Wether it was his well trained torso that made spotting him even from his back, or his handsome face, it wasn't hard yo miss him even surrounded by fans who were wearing the same t-shirt as him.

"Let me stand around you so he won't notice me", you said, "with how enamoured he is of you, I'm sure it won't be long", one of the girls, named Lyla, you learned, spoke, wanting to see the scene unfold as he approached you.

"Hi!", Charles greeted, posing for the pictures while he signed the caps they had, not noticing your hand holding one of his own caps was in the mix.

"Charles! Can you sign this, please?", you asked, hoping you were loud enough, "I was not coming to see you race today, but I'm very happy I did", you almost yelled, thanking the fact that the other girls had helped you by keeping quiet until he realised you were there.

It was enough for Charles to recognise the voice. After all, he had been longing to hear it for the past couple of days.

"Y/N, you're here!", he called, handing Lyla the permanent marker before he hugged you, "I missed you so much, I'm sorry", he whispered on your ear before pulling back a little so he could look you in the eye, "you don't have a pass, do you?", he wondered, seeing you shake your head, "I'll see what I can do, but you're coming with me", he smiled, holding your hand in his and bidding goodbye to the group of girls after you all took a group picture.

The rush until you arrived in his driver's room didn't allow you to talk until you sat on the sofa after greeting everyone and thanking one of the team members for getting you a pass on such short notice.

"Do you think we can talk about it? I don't want to ruin the race by distracting you from it, but I don't think we should be here and not discuss it either", you brought the subject, looking up to see Charles push a chair and sit in front of you, "I want to apologise first", you said, "I never should have said what I said, especially the way I said it, I'm sorry", you apologised, "I never intended it in a way that would hurt you".

Charles grabbed your hands, lacing them in his and looking into your eyes, "I'm sorry, too. I think we should talk about it, too. I want this to be solved, I want us to be well", he admitted.

"My grandparents have been needing a bit more help, and my parents counted on me for it. And I feel like I haven't spent that much time with you, and I'm so sorry for it, but sometimes it just got too much. And I didn't want to burden you, you have your own things to worry about and this would be another thing. They're better now and this was probably a bad phase, but still", you explained.

Charles chuckled before he saw the confusion on your face, "no, I'm joking about this, amour. I'm glad they're better", he reasoned, "but I thought I was being a burden because I felt like I was clingy, like I needed you more than usual and that you had had enough. I didn't want to put more on your plate", he sighed.

Smiling at him, you moved your hand to caress his cheek, "you could never be too much, Charles. Sometimes I just need to deal with things on my own for a bit, even if there is help from someone else", you blushed.

"I know you need me to give you the space you need, that's why I didn't want to push you to talk about things, because as much as I want to craddle you in my arms forever and shield you away from the world's evil, I know you like to do things on your own, at least at first", he noted, earning your silent agreement, "but I'm here for you, always. I'm glad we worked that out", he smiled, pulling your face to his and kissing you deeply, only stopping when someone knocked on the door.

"I heard my favourite girl is back in the paddock, so I suggest you come out because I'm not feeling like I want to see whatever is going on there", your recognised Francisca's voice, getting up and opening the door to see Pierre by her side, "I told her she shouldn't interrupt you two, but she was very excited to know how the surprise went", he smiled.

"A very good surprise indeed, the best one ever", Charles said, pulling you in for one last kiss before he ventured out to the garage, a new feeling of confidence knowing you were there to watch him race.

#charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc fanfic #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 fanfic

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bloodpen-to-paper · 2 months

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Gonna throw my hat into the ring here, as someone who very recently had a streamer they loved and supported go down for serious allegations and crimes. Feel free to skip around my long ass response, I'll break it down into parts:

---Public Reception

Part of the reason I despise these situations is because people online don't ever know enough to make 100% accurate assessments, but will act like they do anyway (I don't care if its authoritarian, I want a bill where people on Twitter can't post about drama until after at least 5 minutes of being forced to critically think). Having said that, here's my opinions on how everything should go forward:

-Shelby shared her story in order to spread awareness on domestic abuse and the signs, so that others can read those signs and keep themselves safe (or leave an actively abusive situation they've been convincing themselves isn't that bad). That is the priority here, that is what people should be focusing on. If you make this situation about stirring drama with the other CCs, you're a dumbass and you need to stop posting. Give support to Shelby, uplift the voices of women like her sharing their stories, spread awareness on what domestic abuse can look like so everyone can learn, and wait for more information. Its that simple.

-CCs don't owe statements for conflicts they weren't involved in. Philza, Tommy, Quackity, Charlie, and other CCs close to Wilbur who aren't part of this don't owe you an explanation. They're people, they're most likely having to come to terms with the fact that a dear friend, someone who could've been like family, isn't who they thought he was. Have a fucking heart and cut it with the parasocial entitlement. I'm hoping Quackity will remove Wilbur from the Qsmp, but just like with Forever, he probably won't make a big announcement of it, and that's perfectly ok. I understand wanting to make sure you're not supporting a CC who would defend someone guilty of committing domestic abuse, but its still not your right to get anything from these people. If they share, they share. If not, then they don't. If you can't handle that, then leave.

-Having said the above, its worth noting that CCs aren't just a fun group of friends, they're coworkers. Much of what they say publicly and when they say it can be shaped or restricted by situations that can affect their careers or get them in legal trouble. You don't know these people personally or what goes on behind the scenes, its a network and you can't measure their responses the same way you would your own opinion piece. The CCs will always need to be careful about how they respond to an issue, and they will most likely respond in "safe" ways considering what's on the line. Not accusing anyone of anything, nor demonizing them for it, just something to keep in mind. They're human, but they're also working a job.

-If you have Lovejoy or Wilbur-related merch, DON'T THROW IT AWAY OR DESTROY IT. I've seen lots of people pointing out merch can be donated to thrift shops or shelters, and its more eco-friendly than burning or trashing. Remember, anything can be repurposed; a book, a hoodie, there's always someone who can find a use for it. Likewise if you want to keep your old merch, that's fine to. You can wear it if it brings you comfort, or if its something you just like the look of. As long as you're not supporting the source, you already have the merch so don't let people pressure you into thinking you're bad for keeping it if you're not ready to let go/throw away those $70.

---My Opinion Regarding His Response

Everyone and their cousin has been dogpiling on Wilbur's response (rightfully), but I think people online don't understand how public responses work when there's legal team and PR interference. The tweet for me had a weird lack of personal touch and emotion from the guy I've observed to be very personal in his writings, whether its his music or a community post about a life update (blah blah parasociality I know, but I'm letting you know the observations I've made of his behavior simply as someone who notices these things). He also never explicitly stated Shelby's name, rather saying "that person" (you even had the textbook 'black text on a blank white background' screenshotted response). Finally, there was a consistent standing on Wilbur 'not being aware of how the other person really felt' regarding his actions. What I'm trying to say is... y'all really gotta start putting two and two together. Its a textbook PR response. As in, I'd be surprised if Wilbur had over 50% involvement in making it because the wording is exactly how it reads when a response has been initiated by someone's lawyers rather than themselves. The reason he doesn't take more accountability and openly admit to having abused Shelby (other than the obvious public backlash) is probably cause his lawyers are banking on the feigning ignorance angle, that Wilbur didn't intentionally abuse Shelby and was ignorant to how his actions affected her. Its the best way to get him out of hot water on the legal side, because again, this isn't messy drama; its a genuine accusation of a crime. I don't think the response is tone deaf and unaware, I think its a deliberate and measured legal move not even fully created by Wilbur himself. This isn't to say I think he's innocent, but I do know that Shelby and others have brought up some serious accusations, and Wilbur is lawyering up as a result.

---Nuance

Prefacing this part by saying that things are not looking good for Wilbur in regards to what other CCs have brought up about him, and I fully believe and support Shelby, hence why I support that the community should start distancing from him and his work. But I would like to take this opportunity to look into the greater aspects at play. We are within a system that brings up men to do what they want without teaching them to be considerate and aware of the consequences. Men are taught their harmful behavior is perfectly fine, often at women's expense, which makes these situation a very different story depending on who's telling it. Its because of this that we need to critically analyze the system and how it causes men to turn out as they do, instead of giving an immediate opinion without any nuance.

There's a possibility that Wilbur is being genuine in not realizing how bad his actions were. There's a possibility he truly is a manipulative liar who knew exactly what he was doing. He could be a piece of shit. He could be genuinely trying to improve and do better. We don't know. I'd say its pretty cut and dry that he hurt Shelby, and for that I'm glad she's getting justice for herself and spreading awareness. But if we're to entertain the idea of redemption, we need to look at situations like these with nuance so that we can understand the "why". I'm not trying to justify Wilbur's actions or even give him the benefit of the doubt, I have no idea what's going on in that guy's head. I'm just putting this out there because its something I want everyone to think about, especially when it comes to topics regarding narcissism and mental health issues. Don't support him or Lovejoy, just keep something like this in mind for the future.

---The Community/Now Displaced Fans

To everyone who's immediately telling Wilbur's fans (the ones that don't support his actions and are actively mourning no longer being able to enjoy his stuff) to just listen to other music or move on, and who are celebrating each negative new thing that comes out about Wilbur's current status, sincerely, shut the fuck up. You are completely lacking in empathy or emotional intelligence, and what you're doing is the last thing the community needs. Wilbur and his work could have and for many did get fans through some of their hardest moments, and losing that wonderful sense of community you get from streamers and their work (especially with the roleplay stuff) is awful. It fucked me up losing that after almost a year, for some of his fans its been even longer.

If you're a (former) fan of his, its ok to feel like shit. We're human, we get attached and we grieve losing something like this because that's how capable we are of loving. Take your time, as long as you know where to stand (supporting Shelby and raising awareness on domestic abuse), you're doing good. You can keep enjoying his characters and work and making content about it, separating the art from the artist (though don't stream his music from platforms that would give him the money, find a way to pirate it).

This sucks. I feel it as a casual fan who was once hugely into his content, I can imagine what its like for those who were huge supporters all the way up until now. You didn't do anything wrong supporting someone you thought was a good person, its just a thing that happens and its so fucking shitty. You ain't alone though, I know some of you have that knee-jerk reaction to avoid anything to do with him but reaching out to others in the community and actually processing it all is way better, you won't be bottling it all up. Don't be afraid to continue engaging with this part of your life until you're ready to move on from it in your own time, and be kind to yourself. From someone who went through exactly what you are now, trust me, you'll get through it.

#shubble situation #wilbur soot #psa

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silvershiningtarot · 4 months

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PACs: How Would Your FS Introduce You To Their Parents? (describes)

Disclaimer: 20+ mature, this is a general reading. This is about how would they introduce you to their families and describe you😱. It is like their first impression!! Enjoy, remember this is a general reading. This is a short reading, I'm doing.

😘💋😘💋😘💋😘💋😘💋😘💋😘💋😘💋😘💋😘💋😘💋

Pile 1:

Queen Of Wands, King Of Cups, Two Of Cups Rx, and Six Of Swords. Oh yeah, this makes me think that your husband, wife, or unicorn 🦄 they'll introduce you to their parents when they are confident. But I feel like in my opinion, your husband will be so happy and passionate about letting you meet their parents. But I feel that their parents will be welcoming but it seems like you might be nervous for a second because I don't know if they are close to their parents. But I heard “one of them.” so your spouse could be close to one of their parent. Their parent might tell you how your spouse grew up. Haha 😂 I can see it happening 😁.

🌺😁🌺😁🌺😁🌺😁🌺😁🌺🌺🌺😁🌺🌺😁🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺

Pile 2: The Hanged Man Rx and Six Of Pentacles Rx.

Alright, I think either you or your spouse will be nervous. Because what I feel is that they won't be open-minded about introducing you to their parents. I heard “easy up.” maybe they'll feel pressure about it. I heard “nagging.” Maybe, you'll be nagging them. But see I was right. There's something they aren't open-minded to. Hmmm 🤔 I wonder why they aren't. But they'll be stubborn about it. They'll be self-sabotaging themselves. I heard “does nothing to deal with you.” Maybe, there's something they grew up with. I can't explain but there is something they don't want to show you. It's sucks but I can them being a bit close-minded about introducing you to their parents. Maybe, they feel like you'll judge them. Or they aren't open to introducing you to their parents. Some of y’all Spouse feel the need to not want to be introduced to their parents. I'm hearing “not ready yet.” well if they aren't ready then no need to force them too.

🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🕯️🍓🍓🍓🍓🍓🕯️🍓☀️🍓☀️🙏🏾☀️

Pile 3: Five Of Wands, The Hanged Man and Knight Of Pentacles.

Alright, in a sense I'm getting that your husband will be patient in introducing you to their parents or parents. Even if they have their soul family parents. That's Cool. I'm hearing them say “I wanna take it real slow.” I am getting a feeling that they'll introduce you to their parent when the time is right. But since I'm looking at the Knight of Pentacles I feel that they are dropping little hints for their parents. I think that y’all husband’s telling their parents that they are seeing someone which you guys and they aren't ready to bring you to them. I have a feeling that some of y’all husband's parents are very positive and clingy to their sons but in a Healthy way. I feel that their parents are like the weirdos of the family if that makes sense. But you are going to like that about your husband haha. You'll understand why your husband is the way that they are. Most of you, I feel that your husband's parents are very competitive. I'm hearing “traditional.” because, with the Five Of Wands, I'm seeing the very firey kind of family that they have. I'm feeling more toxic in a sense. They have this perfectionist kind of family. It's very getting a sense it very “ugh” with them introducing you to their parents or parents. So in my opinion, I'm getting more traditional parent. The reason why I say parent its makes me think hmm. I don't know it's a feeling I'm picking up. But I feel that you might change their mind about it. Give them a new perspective on things. I can see them being able to see better the full picture of it. I'm getting like “healing”. Maybe, they don't get along with their parent. I won't go any further than that but I have a feeling that they wanna be patient with you and just take a pause to introduce y'all connection to their parent. But for some of you, I'm getting that they are excited about introducing you to their parent or parents. They feel hella excited. I have a feeling that they like to introduce people to their parents. Who has good energy? That's why they feel like they can do it. With you. I can feel them saying “It's time. It's time” haha 😂 they are all excited!!!

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jongbross · 4 months

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EXO members’ reaction on having a shy girlfriend around their (the idol’s) parents during family dinner 🤗

i think, fundamentally, all of them would try to reassure you somehow, like in their own way.

minseok: he would keep his hand attached to yours under the table, caressing your knuckles to make you feel less nervous. he would also ask his parents to go easy on you, as he knows how shy you can be.

junmyeon: whenever his parents aren't looking, he would lean in and whisper how well you're doing, besides giving you a kiss or two on your cheek. when you have to talk to his parents, answering questions or just being polite, junmyeon has the biggest smile on his face.

yixing: he lets his parents know that you're shy beforehand, so they won't pressure you in any type of way. he rarely presents a girlfriend to his parents, so when he does they know it's because that person means a lot to yixing - and the last thing he wants is for his parents to go all "are you the future mother of our grandchildren?" on you.

baekhyun: he tries to comfort you through physical touch as well, either is by resting a hand on your thigh or just being really, really close to you. he speaks about his mom with such love, i really think she might be a great person who can tell when someone's getting shy, so you can also count on her to make you feel better.

jongdae: his smiles are the only thing you need to know you're doing fine. like junmyeon, he would take his time to tell you to not worry, that his parents are loving you - which they truly were. he would also laugh a little bit harder at your jokes, just to make you win extra points with his parents.

chanyeol: i mean, have you seen him? have you seen his sister and mom? there's no way that family is making you feel uncomfortable. in fact, if chanyeol lets them know in advance that you're shy, his mom might even suggest you meet yoora first, and then her and his dad. but through it all, chanyeol has an arm around your shoulders and fingers brushing your arm.

kyungsoo: he can be quite shy himself, so he would ask his parents to please, just play it cool. he doesn't touch you or whatever, but he does give you little smiles from time to time. he also doesn't let his parents try any trick on you, which means that if any of them asks you something that might make you uncomfortable, he's more than ready to just say "mom/dad, don't". he respects your boundaries.

jongin: he tells you a million times that there's no reason for you to be that shy around his mom and sisters. having their approval over you means a lot to jongin, so he does everything he can to make you comfortable and talkative towards his family - he might even ask his mom to tell you embarrassing stories from his childhood, so you'll laugh and maybe loosen yourself a little bit.

sehun: similar to jongin, but their parents will tell you embarrassing stories about him on their own. he makes sure you're okay every minute, silently asking you if you wanna go home. he loves you to the point that, if you regret marking that dinner with his parents, he'll just excuse the two of you and mark it again in the future.

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wolfmadefromash · 16 days

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Thought on 7x05

I've seen a mixed response for the episode last night, things from the shared photos not playing out how many hoped or wanted. There was the photo of Eddie and Marisol sitting at the table at the end of the row from Tommy and Buck, making it really look like he was there for more of their date than he was. The photos we got of Buck and Eddie the gym and in Buck's apartment, the expectation was different there too.

I didn't think for one second that there was a chance for there to be a Buddie kiss in the episode, I can understand were people were coming from with that though. The theory of Eddie being jealous when he finds about about the date and that has him realizing he has feelings for Buck makes sense. But I prefer the way it played out, even if I do still very much ship Buddie.

The date was just... oh man so bad, Buck was a disaster but it also makes sense. This is new for him, he doesn't exactly understand his role or how he should act. It hasn't caught up to him really that it doesn't have to be any different than dating a women, just relax and talk and enjoy the company. His biggest mistake was acting the way he did when Eddie showed up, I get that he's not out to anyone yet but Eddie was there with his girlfriend and just happy to see his too friends hanging out. Buck talking about getting chicks and calling Eddie bro was a bigger red flag than if he were to have been waving the literal bi flag in Eddie face. I mean... come on dude, you've literally never once uttered the word chicks and you haven't been one for bar hopping and picking up randoms since before you even met Eddie. That's Buck 1.0 behavior and Eddie doesn't know that Buck. He's stressed and he panicked, so I get it but... sir... no. Tommy bailing on the rest of the night, while is sucks that that's how Buck "first date with a dude" (pro tip Ev, maybe don't call your date dude) ended, I understand Tommy's side. He was kind about, looked like he felt bad. I do with that he explained that is was more him not wanting Buck to feel pressured to make steps before he was ready, rather then telling him at the end of the episode when they meet for coffee.

I was almost heartbroken for Hen and Karen, finding out that the little girl they were supposed to foster was going to stay with her grandmother. I was so excited to see them welcoming in a baby girl after the struggles they day with fertility and having to let go of Nia (truly a crime because that little girl was so cute and I miss her). I love that they're giving Mara this chance to find peace with a new family after what that poor girl went through. I know some aren't happy with Karen's reaction over Denny getting hurt, especially when Denny was standing up for Mara himself telling them she didn't mean it. But Karen's first priority as a mother is her own child, and while the intent is for Mara to fit that role eventually, she's still new and now she's harmed her son. In that moment, it didn't matter that Mara clearly went through something traumatic in her life and that she needed time and care. He son was hurt and Karen was going to do what she needed to keep him safe. I am glad that they made the extra effort to learn more about Mara's situation, kind of feels like the sort of thing they should have been told before but they weren't. Mara's story will be complex and heartbreaking I'm sure, but I do hope that she is here to stay because that little girl deserves to feel safe and protected and loved.

I loved Buck's coming out to Maddie, literally accidentally just because he kind of got carried away with the story, saying "he left me stand outside the restaurant" after having been very careful to be as vague as possible when talking about the date. The little slip of the pronoun of course didn't go unnoticed by Maddie and she zeros right in on it. Buck not understanding why he acted the way he did, still under the assumption that his shouldn't have mattered who he was with, because he's an ally. Except, you can be an ally then find that you're more than that and it can still be confusing because its new. Buck lying to Eddie about what he and Tommy were actually doing doesn't make him less of an ally or make him any less bisexual. It was unexpected to see Eddie, he wasn't out to anyone yet, he was even resistant to come out to Maddie but he need to talk to someone about how he acted. So Maddie's right, him being on a date with a guy probably has everything to do with him lying to Eddie and really hurting Tommy in the process. Maddie's reaction to Buck saying "sure I'll check out a hot guys ass, but that's normal"... she's amazing for just sort of letting it go and mildly agreeing. "It's not abnormal" but not exactly normal either. Most straight men are out here checking out a hot guys ass. They might look and compare or something but it's not really that they're checking it out and they're certainly not acknowledging that the guy is hot. I love Buck's coming out journey so far, he's a gem.

Eddie's Catholic Guilt... is amazing. His reaction to Marisol almost being a nun feels like a bit much to me, almost like he's repressing something... Also, dude why are you asking her to move in with you??? Thank god she didn't have plans to sell her house so she can go back there, honestly the fact that she wasn't selling the house was a sign that the move or relationship wasn't going to last. With the news that Marisol was almost a nun, thought I'd seen it floating around for a few week not knowing where that came from, it's given me a theory for the break-up; not even a unique theory because I think we're all thinking the same thing. Marisol obviously still has a connection to her faith, she's kept things from her time doing... whatever it is nuns do to be come nuns. She'd likely a devout Catholic and we know how most (if not all) feel about the LGBTQIA+ community. I'm thinking that Tommy and Buck are talked about in some capacity and she learns that they're dating, or she sees them at the Madney wedding. She shares her thoughts with Eddie, maybe not as ugly as they could be because lets let us have some peace from that in one area of our life, and he'd appalled. Because Tommy's he's friend and he's great and Buck's his best friend and has been helping him raise Christopher for years now. Who they're dating doesn't change how great they are, Eddie's not going to just turn his back on his friends. So they break up because Marisol sucks. The only reason I don't fully believe it'll happen this way is because of the actresses current reputation and her apparent views towards the LGBTQIA+ community. But... art imitates life and all that...

Also, love the idea of Demi Eddie and it feels like it really fits.

Eddie being more hung up or surprised by the fact that Tommy's gay, rather then his best friend who's he's know for like 6 years now was just on a date with a man is amazing to me. For one, it feed into this head canon that everyone kind of already knew. And two, it just reaffirms that to Eddie it doesn't matter. Buck is Buck, Eddie will be there for him no matter what. I did was some level of something more there, some sort of tension or hurt between the two. A touch of the divorce era without it being full blown no contact for 2 episodes. I wanted Eddie coming into the loft after having found out Buck and Tommy were on a date from someone that wasn't Buck. Maybe Marisol saying something about thinking they were crashing their date. I wanted Eddie asking Buck why he thought he couldn't trust him with this, why he felt like he couldn't open up to him, why he doubted that he would support him. Throw in a call back to season 5 when Buck broke down Eddie's bedroom door to get to him when he was crying on the floor, arguably Eddie's most vulnerable moment. The kind of moment you share with someone and know you can be 100% you with them. But the whole coming out scene was very lovely and I am happy that Buck experience so far with the people he's told has been incredibly positive. I know this isn't how it is for far too many.

I loved the little coffee date(?) with Buck and Tommy. I love that is was Eddie who encouraged Buck to call Tommy and the Buck is really willing to take this leap into the unknown. Everything about this scene is so soft and sweet, Buck is very clearly infatuated with Tommy at the very least, and Tommy is so gentle and kind. I don't know that there would be a better first boyfriend for Buck than Tommy. Again, I still very much ship Buddie, but there is something about Buck and Tommy that I love.

As much as I want Eddie and Buck together, I am a bit of a realist or more negative thinker lol I mean I was very much under the impression that Buck would never be canonically Bi even if he always gave vibes that I couldn't begin to explain. It something that I thought "it'd be nice, but it'll never happy. At least there's fan fiction." But here were are, 5 episode into setons 7 on a new network and Buck is kissing boys and dating dudes. It's a big moment, taking a character like Buck who's part of the main cast and allowing him to be queer in any way, it can also be a big risk to take. But ABC and Tim Minear did it, Oliver himself has said that he saw this being a direction for Buck for some time and he was more than open to explore it. Tim Minear has never out right said no to Buddie, at least in recent conversations. Ryan and Oliver haven't said no ever, they've always been noncommittal about the direction of Eddie and Buck's relationship. But more recently... it seems like they're keeping the door open a crack to allow for speculation to run wild. Dropping hints and clues. It seems to me that it's unlikely that they'll give Eddie a queer story arc, seems like too big of a leap for any network like ABC to take at least while they're already exploring one character. I want to say I truly believe that we'll get Buddie eventually, but I really can't put too much hope or faith in that. I will be thrilled if they do, genuinely.

I rambled... it happens. Not often but these last few episodes were a lot to reflect on. I'm loving Buck's story, loving that he's in his 30's and going through this now at a time where people think you should have you're life figured out. I love this because it just makes me feel some much better about my own journey. I'm in my 30's, only in the last year or 2 have I even had any thoughts about my own sexuality really. I'm not a very confident person, I have body image issues, not the most out going and I don't love talking to new people. I haven't given myself the opportunity to really explore. But I have thought recently about how I would feel about a relationship with someone of the same gender and came to the conclusion that I'm not put off by the idea, I'm very much open to it. I haven't figured out a label that feels right yet but I'm fine with no label at all. I just hate the idea of being closed off to something that could be potentially amazing, who a person is should matter more than what they are. Labels can be so restrictive but I understand that is makes some feel secure and feel like they're a part of something bigger.

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ohdudedhesflirting · 11 months

Text

Matthew boyfriend headcanon

Synopsis : Just my thoughts about boyfriend!Matthew

Tag : My dear @seok02 this is for you <3 I hope you will enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

....Under the cut ....

Matthew is the most sweet and understanding human and boyfriend you could have ever wished for.

Attentive, kind, patient. He always made sure everything you might need was ready for you. Oh you need a tissue ? Let me fetch you a pack. Need a hand to carry your bag ? Already on his shoulder and you didnt even had the time to let your thought out loud.

Matthew is the type of boyfriend that your whole family loves and knows.

You swear you didn't even know how it happened, it just happened ..? One day you take him home in a very casual way, you know, just for him to get acquainted with your parents and the next thing you know is that him and your dad are cutting wood together ? You are getting to a family gathering to see your cousins and somehow he is already here "Hi Babe !!" smile flashing his lips. You don't really understand how it happened but on thing was sure : they loved Matthew as much as they loved you.

He is the type of boyfriend that just lives to feel you.

Its nothing that makes you uncomofrtable or suffocated. Its just that Matthew likes feeling you. Wether its just walking hand in hand, having his hand on your back, or just casually resting his hands on your hips and his head in the crook of your neck.

He is a waist holder. Helping you to reach something, walking on the street together, just doing grocery shopping. His hands always naturally come to rest on your hips. Not his fault if they always feel especially well.

He loves to give you piggyback rides. Its just something he likes. Feeling your legs around his torso, arms around him, face inthe crook of his neck. Hearing your heart beating against his back.

A part of his love language is matching items, no matther if its a big sweatshirt, or a little ring. He just loves to match with you.

Pyjama party ? Give him two minutes and he has some matching pyjamas, because what is better than cuddle in the same outftit ? Nothing. Winter is very cold and you need a new beanie ? Say no more boyfie Matthew got you a matching one with him.

Both of you are really into jewelry, and he already has a couple of matching rings with his members so naturally, there is one day a ring that finds its way on your finger, a discreet ring with both of your favorite flower interwined.

Matthew loves being babied by you when his members aren't around. He just really likes when you are soft with him, just pulling him into a warm embrace, playing with his hands or with his hair (careful he will fall asleep after five solid minutes)

Have I mentionned tattoos ? Because Matthew definitely wants to get at least one with you.

You already had a few of your own, and Matthew as well so when the relationship get very serious I can totally imagine Matthew just asking you if you wanna get a matching one.

"Not a cringy one like a forever symbol babe, just something chill like references of our favorite movie"

And when the relationship is hella serious, I totally can see him getting a very intimate tattoo with your initial on top of his heart on his rib "this way you are always close to my heart, even when you are not by my side"

And the nicknames, petnames ? He is a sucker for it. There is no governement names okay ? Its only babe, love, honey, sunshine (for him). Does he likes matching nicknames ? Hell yes he does, if you call him sunshine than you can be sure you could be nicknamed moonie.

And his Seok Woohyun oppa agenda ? Its real. That part of his personnality comes out whenever he is jealous.

Matthew is a jealous person okay ? Just seeing you too close with another member is enough for him to raise his blood pressure and just death stare his member "Matthew hyung I promise, Jiwoong is not gonna kidnapp them". And when you finally get back by his side the only way to calm him down is to shower him with love and calling him oppa (doesnt matter if you are older, he just likes the way it sounds like coming from your lips).

His seok Woohyun oppa energy is also present whenever things get heated between the two of you.

He is the type to send you thirst trap. Working out at the gym, you deserve a picture. Worked on his biceps, a little picture. A new outfit that he knows you will like ? Photo.

He just likes to show off and see that he has effects on you.

He likes it when you shower him with compliments.

His love can totally be of the quiet one, taking care of you in your shadow even if you dont even notices it. But sometimes it can be loud too, when he always protects your from men when walking in town, holding your hand proudly when he is with his members.

You are his person and he just loves to show off.

On a point of view of dates, Matthew like everything that you can bond over or just for you guys to be close. A cooking class ? He is ready. A day at the theme park ? Already in the car.

But he also likes the quiet type of date, just staying at his dorm or at your place. Cuddled up one against each other, hand on your bottom or on your hips. Or just putting himself behind you to rest his head on your neck and his hand on your stomach. Just enjoying each other's presence and watching movies, animes and dramas together.

Have I mentionned the gossips ? He is always ready to hear all your gossips.

Just picture it, you are coming back from a night out with your friend, and he his just waiting for you to come home, he helps you take off your make-up and putting yourself in comfortable clothes. And you finally go together under the covers where its your turn to rest your head on his torso, he just brushes your hair and tells you to tell him everything. And you just gossip until the both of you falls asleep. And he just loves it. For him its a way to see that you truly trust him and for you, its the sign that he cares about you. Even if you tell him during thirty minutes why its so important that the person you despised in your class got the same top as one of your friend.

Matthew genuiely cares for you, and in every one of his actions he shows it.

#i hope i fed all of your delulu self #because i fed my own delulu ass #i tried to keep it minors friendly so there is nothing innapropriate for kiddos (i hope)#im actually proud of that one #seok matthew #seok matthew type of boyfriend #seok matthew imagine #seok matthew imagines #seok matthew headcanon #seok matthew boyfriend #zb1 imagine #zerobaseone imagine #seok matthew x reader #zb1 #zerobaseone

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canirove · 4 months

Text

Broken Hearts Football Club | Chapter 28

Previous chapter | Last chapter

Masterlist

"They are literal scum. Posting this article the morning of our most important game so far? Disgusting" Leah said, leaving her phone on the table and laying on the bed next to June.

"Didn't expect anything less from them" she sighed.

"How are you?"

"Honestly? I don't know. They've published stuff about my relationships before, but…"

"But they've never done it about a relationship you truly care about. One that matters, one that you want, one with someone you love" Leah said.

"Yeah" June sighed again.

They had been caught. Someone had recognized her and Ben on their date at McDonald's, taking photos of them and sending them to the English press. And there was no way they could deny what was going on.

They had photos of them waiting to order, June's arms wrapped around Ben's neck while they kissed and laughed. They had photos of them eating together, smiling at each other. And they had photos of them leaving the restaurant, of Ben squeezing her butt and then hugging her and kissing her. That was couple behaviour, and it was impossible to deny it.

"What has your family said?"

"My dad said that now he understood why I had been looking so happy lately, and my mum that Ben is the most handsome young man she has ever seen and that she is gonna have the most beautiful grandchildren ever."

"No pressure there" Leah chuckled. "So they are ok with your relationship?"

"They are. They said that as long as I am happy, they are happy too."

"What about John?"

"He just worries about me wanting to run away and send to hell the best thing that has happened to me in ages and that isn't related to my career."

"But you aren't running away, are you?"

"The thought crossed my mind when I first saw the article" June said, biting her lip. "But, no, I'm not going anywhere. I… I love Ben. And I'm gonna fight for him. For us."

"Aww, Maxwell!" Leah said, hugging her friend. "You've said it aloud! Finally! I'm so proud of you."

"Yeah, whatever."

"No, this is not whatever, June. This is huge coming from you. This means you've healed, that your heart isn't broken anymore. Though it won't be 100% healed until you tell Chilly how you feel."

"He knows how I feel."

"But you haven't actually told him, have you?"

"Not really, no."

"Then maybe this is the moment to do it, you know? Now that everyone knows about your relationship, this may be the moment to tell him and reassure him that you aren't going anywhere."

"Maybe. But I don't know how to say it."

"It's just three words, Maxwell" Leah laughed.

"Yes, but the three most important words ever."

"I guess… Have you spoken with him yet?"

"We texted earlier after the article was published. He asked me if I was ok and about how my family had taken the news."

"What about his family?"

"His mum was like, oh, this is old news. I've known since I saw her at the hospital."

"She always was a clever woman" Leah chuckled. "Did you talk about anything else? Are you going to publish something on Instagram confirming it?"

"Nah. We agreed that what matters now is tonight's game, that I should focus on that and on showing those idiots who June Maxwell is, that their shit doesn't affect her."

"So you basically agreed on bringing back the June who likes to shut mouths with goals."

"Ben's favourite, yes" June chuckled.

"I like her a lot too. Though not as much as he does. Tough love he called it, right?"

"Yeah" she said, remembering everything that happened since that confession, how she and Ben had gone from not being able to stand the other and constantly arguing to… to being in love with each other and happier than ever.

"You know you have us all by your side right? The whole team" Leah said, taking June's hand in hers.

"I know, Williamson. Thank you" she smiled.

"Great. Then let's go kick some asses" Leah said, getting up from the bed with a quick jump. "I feel bad for those poor Chinese girls but… This is how it works. Are you ready, Maxwell?"

"Yes captain, my captain" June laughed, getting up from the bed and joining her.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"What an extraordinary game of football" Andrew said.

"Definitely the best we've seen in this tournament so far" Jacob added.

"The way the girls played tonight has been just… Perfection. Look at those stats!"

"And they could have been even better if Sarina hadn't made all those changes after the 5th goal."

"And what a goal that last one was. What do you think, Chilly?" Andrew asked him.

"I think that it probably is the best goal of Lauren's career to the date."

"Agree" Jacob nodded.

"If you watch it since the moment the ball leaves Earp's foot, it just gets better and better."

"And when it gets to Maxwell… That pass was simply brilliant! And the way James controls the ball and kicks… Urgh, I love it."

"Looks like you've fallen in love with a goal, Andrew" Ben chuckled.

"I may have, yes" he laughed.

"Speaking of Maxwell's pass… Didn't it remind you of one of yours, Chilly? The one against United."

"It was similar, but hers is ten times better. She is a much better football player than I ever was or would have ever been" Ben smiled.

"Completely unbiased comment here" Jacob smirked.

"I'm known for always being unbiased when it comes to Maxwell " Ben shrugged before the three of them started to laugh. "Being serious again, tho… I think the character the girls showed today is worthy of respect. People from the outside tried to make them nervous, to make them fail, and they showed them what they are made of. That they are here to play football and win, and no one is gonna distract them from their goal no matter how hard they try."

"Yes! Our fierce lionesses!" Jacob said, lifting his fist in the air.

"We are very proud of you girls" Andrew said.

"All of you" Ben added, looking straight into the camera, hoping everyone back home got the message.

They could publish all the rubbish they wanted. He was sure of his feelings for June and of hers for him even if she hadn't said it just yet. And if there was someone who knew how to fight against people who talked shit, making the best of it, that was June Maxwell.

#ben chilwell #ben chilwell fanfic #ben chilwell imagine #football fanfic #football imagine

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reesespeanutbutterfuck · 11 months

Text

imperfectionist (vinny hong x jo!reader)

jay jo's imperfectionist sister meets the flawful vinny hong.

part 3

part 2 | part 4

pairing: vinny hong x jo!fem!reader

part warnings: fem!reader, cursing, mentions of blood, descriptions of graphic violence, jo!reader, intelligent!reader, implications of academic pressure, second person's pov (you, you're, your), SPOILERS

___

It was Friday afternoon, you were free from your academic responsibilities—at least temporarily.

Jay was sitting on the dinner table while reading his textbooks again, and Kay was in front of the TV smothering Jack, the injured black cat he and Minu found astray, and decided to take in. He's watching a show about weird cat animations with a comical, eye-sorely bright art style again. You left Kay's bungeoppang at the countertop and dropped your keys on the table.

“Kay, stop watching that crap and come eat. It's dinner time.”

“It's not crap! It's art!” Your younger brother, Kay, peered at you from behind the sofa backrest.

You put your closed fist against the side your waist and frowned. “I'm surprised you haven't puked cats and rainbows yet. You always watch that show, why don't you watch horror films instead? Give me that remote, let's watch 'Saw'.”

“No! Weird-noona!" Kay withheld the remote behind him when you pretended to reach for it.

You displayed a sinister grin. “What? Gore films are educational.”

“Unbelievable! Jay's obsessed with bikes while you're obsessed with… everything!”

“And you're obsessed with watching weird shows!”

“Says the one who's not weird!”

Jay ignored your sibling banter and resumed studying, his eyes blaring at the words on the textbook under his glasses. You're sure he's not going to rest anytime soon. You sighed in hopelessness. You admit how you're quite a studyholic yourself, but you try to give yourself a short break every now and then—discreetly. That's part of the reason you chose to stay in an apartment rather than your family home.

You get flashbacks of those nights. After a long, draining day in school, you just want to do anything that doesn't involve having to bombard your head with information and reviewers. But then your mother enters your dim-lit room and catches you resting. That's when the constant “Why aren't you studying?”, “I don't want you slacking off”, “Make us proud, [Y/N].” ring in your ear.

At home, it felt as if taking a break was a crime. You hated how it felt to be watched. It was exhausting how you only matter when you're a high-achiever. It didn't feel like home. It felt like hell. Sometimes you only come home to make sure your brothers are still alive.

“It's the weekend. Shouldn't you at least take a break?” You lightly put your hand against the table and leaned down at Jay.

“I'm good. Thanks for worrying, but you're the one who should rest. You're left with Student Council work. And you tend to overwork yourself too.” Right. Jay got stripped off of his position of being the Student Council President. You shrugged it off.

Jay shot you a glance, until he remembered a question he's been wanting to ask you an hour ago. “So, why did you suggest Vinny?” He opened up the topic. “You've met him?”

You were a slightly taken aback by his question. Yes, but also no. “No. I don't even know him personally.”

Jay looked at you for a few seconds. He knows you're not telling him something, but he doesn't intend to be intrusive, you can tell him some other time. “...Okay. But why him?”

”I just can't think of another escape so my mouth moved by itself. And judging from Dom's protests, surely you won't really recruit him, right?”

Besides, from the way Vinny Hong was ready to meet his death and unremorsefully uttered the words "I'd rather die than pay a hospital bill" that was still fresh in your memory as the picture in your head of the pool of blood from the concrete he sat on that night, months ago, he needs help. But you weren't a savior—you wouldn't just cross the line and pretend you know everything about what he's going through in his life.

You checked your phone's inbox. You clicked the most recent unread message from a group chat made by Dom. Was it Dom? Or was it Minu? You backread the recent few messages. It's from Minu.

(Sent to Group Chat: Dom Kang, Yuna, Mia, Shelly…+others)

Minu Yoon: Guys, someone came to our school. He's Vinny's friend and he's asking for our help. I'll fill you in with the details later. brb walking with him rn

A friend of Vinny's? Speaking of the devil.

You were going to disregard the messages until Minu's name once again flashed on your most recent inboxes. This time it was a private message.

Minu Yoon: Hello, [Y/N]! Are you currently at your family home? If you are, please tell Jay I'll be out just for a moment. As we both know, your brother doesn't have a message app on his jurassic phone lol

[Y/N] Jo: i am at home right now, sure.

[Y/N] Jo: why are you with vinny's friend by the way?

Minu Yoon: We're trying to call him from outside of his house. I think no one's home. Sung's trying to contact him right now but his number's out of reach. We're here to talk to him to convince him to join the crew.

Then he sent a selfie of him with Vinny's bespectacled friend. He looked like a student about the same age as you, which was confirmed when you looked down on his chest pocket and saw Gunn High's logo. They're in front of a gate.

You purse your lips together, not knowing what to reply.

[Y/N] Jo: you considered it?

[Y/N] Jo: vinny joining your crew, i mean.

Minu Yoon: Yeah, no. Not really. Me and Vinny aren't exactly on good terms so as I've reacted earlier when you mentioned him, I wouldn't really have given it a thought. But as it turns out, Vinny needs us, too. His friend came all the way here just to ask us to help him. He needs to join the tournament along with a group. It's only a coincidence how you mentioned him earlier.

You asked him more about Vinny Hong, and apparently, the bespectacled guy, who you found out was called Sung, told him about Vinny's situation. Minu filled you in with the details. So Vinny needs the prize money… to aid his mother's immediate need of a liver surgery?

When you were done with your questions, you reminded him once again to come home.

[Y/N] Jo: come home immediately after.

Minu Yoon: Yes, ma'am :D

[Y/N] Jo: jay wouldn't lock the door. my parents are coming home tonight–

Your fingers halted from typing. Your parents are coming home tonight? Tonight… Aren't they on duty? You checked their schedule on the cork board.

Shit.

You didn't have the time to even send the message before you briskly ran inside your long untouched bedroom to bring Suki—your apartment roommate, your notes from the hospital training, and a change of clothes from your closet to pack inside of your bag. You didn't even bother changing from your school uniform anymore. You'll just change when you get back to the apartment. All that matters to you right now is to get out of there immediately.

“What's going on?” Jay curiously queried as he heard the sounds of your shuffling and rushed footsteps.

“It's getting dark outside. I gotta go back to the apartment. Suki's coming back from her hometown vacation tonight, too.”

You gathered your things and got your keys from the table.

Kay turned his head to you and aired a quick "goodbye" while also lightly waving Jack's paw to you.

"I’ll see you again, Jack. Make sure to be fully healed by then.” you petted the black cat's head before walking past the sofa.

Jay's eyes followed you as you marched your way to exit the front door. "You're not going to stay for the night?"

“No. Mom and Dad are coming home tonight.” You put your hand against the door-frame while looking down at your feet to put on your slip-on shoes. Jay immediately got what you meant.

“So what, if we're coming home tonight?” you halted your movements when you heard that arrogant, authoritative female voice.

It's as if the universe was testing you that the very person you're avoiding came to you. It's almost as if you were an animal for the wilderness that triggered their fight-or-flight instincts. You don't want to lie to people, but why is escaping them getting difficult?

"Mom." you cautiously stepped towards her and went in for a cheek-to-cheek kiss. “You're here.”

“My shift finished earlier than expected. Your dad's on his way home too. Where are you off to?” She held one of your arms and leaned back a little to look at you from head down.

You exhaled shakily. “Suki's coming home from Japan, but I have the key to the apartment so she can't enter unless I unlock the door.”

Suki actually has a spare key for your apartment door, you only lied—again, to your mom about it to run off as fast as you can. Suki can handle herself and come straight home after her plane lands. Besides, you already texted her earlier.

Her lip twitched, looking very unconvinced—hell were you not good with keeping up a lie, but instead of trying to pry, she blinked and averted her eyes inside the house, passively accepting your lie as a response.

“Very well. Send my regards to her.” Came her curt reply when she walked past you to come inside, clutching her chanel purse.

“Kids, where's Minu?” She looked ahead to Jay and Kay while taking her shoes off. Minu's living with your family after he ran away from his own home.

"He's left at school with the others.” Jay replied, before he glanced past Dr. Jo and simply waved goodbye to you.

You turned your back from the door to make your way out. The only thing that mattered to you is escaping, but it looks like your mother had something more to say.

“[Y/N].” You stopped your tracks without facing her, and side-eyed her from the front while your body was still facing ahead on the gate, “Mind your grades. I don't want you and your brothers falling behind anyone in all of your semesters this school year.”

You didn't reply, but you can feel her sharp stare drilling the back of your head. Your brothers inside the house can't hear what she's saying, because she only intended for only you to hear. She quieted down for a while, possibly waiting for your reply but getting nothing in return. Just when you thought she's done talking and you were about to continue walking, her last remark made your blood turmoil.

“One of these days, I'll introduce you to one of my work partners' also medicine practitioner sons. You'll marry to continue our family's line of Doctors of Medicine. You'll honor and represent our family. Set up a good impression on them from now on. Make me proud."

You gritted your teeth and clenched your fist as your eyes darkened in anger. With all of your might, you faced her and returned her sharp glare.

“I will never agree to what you want for my life, mother. You'll have to kill me before that happens. I'll even go against you, if I have to.”

With that, you ran off and loudly slammed the gate shut purposefully without giving her a chance to retort. You know you pissed her off and she'll be yelling at you anytime soon, so you left as soon as possible, not bothering to give her time to respond. Your blood boiled as you harshly adjusted your bag on your shoulder. Marriage? "Continue our family's line of Doctors of Medicine"? That's just bullshit, she didn't even ask my opinion!

You don't know where your feet are taking you anymore. You just wanted to go as far as you can from your house. The sky was already dark and the bustling atmosphere was still present, but now toned-down. Your eyes blurred in anger as you harshly stomped and accelerated the pace of your walking. Marriage… Marriage… I will never be ready for something like that. During your walk to god-knows-where, you find yourself in a deserted alley. And because of your preoccupation, you didn't even notice how a man found his way and crept behind you. His presence made you shudder.

“Hey, pretty girl. Are you from near here somewhere?” The male whispered to your left ear. “Drop your belongings and I won't hurt 'ya.” he wrapped his arm around your shoulder.

You immediately checked if he's armed. No weapons? That's suspicious.

“On second thought, you're kinda hot," he scanned you from head down. "...and your legs are long. How about… I let you go if you compensate with your body?”

Something inside you snapped, and the anger you felt earlier doubled. Fucking men and the way their fucking brain works.

You glared and looked down on him. “Get the fuck out of my way, hideous motherfucker.”

The man's sinister smile quickly vanishes as he takes offense at your words. “You sharp-tongued bitch!”

He raised his hand to smack you, but you expected his offense so you went in first and swung him a jaw-breaking punch.

“How dare you fucking touch me. I just came from a fucking stress room. You're raising my blood pressure and stress levels even more.”

You kicked his face continuously with the edge of your heel. You made sure the sharp edge hit his face hard. At that moment, your mind was out of the gutter, and you didn't intend to stop anytime.

“Agh! Whore! Crazy bitch!” he let out another muffled groan when you stepped on his face and put your weight on your feet. When he attempted to get up, you hit his face with your knee.

But little did you know that you missed the hooded man meticulously emerging from the dark, carrying a knife whose blade shone under the moonlight sneaking up behind you.

“Hurts like a bitch, doesn't it?” You sadistically smirked down at the helpless man once again under your heel.

You looked around and saw a broken glass shard near his head. You bent down and scanned it, before you aimed at his neck. As you pull your hand back, recoiling slightly to charge before stabbing, you felt something sharp pierce your lower back. You didn't see what it was, but you felt how it drilled in your flesh and you didn't have time to react.

Fuck.

Now that, that hurts like a bitch.

***

#vinny hong #jay jo x reader #vinny hong x reader #jay jo #windbreaker

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haydensky01 · 1 year

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Obey me! Lucifer loses MC the worst way (Part 3/3, Final)

Attention: Not short attention spane friendly. Spoilers. Angst

Part 1/3 | Part 2/3

######################

The day after you had gone, the demon brothers gathered in your room sad you left them and went to Diavolo's Castle.

"Why did he let her go?" Asmo said annoyed to his brothers. "What's the big idea of letting her abandon us like that? Aren't we her family?"

"She didn't abandon us." Belphie answers. "She just doesn't feel safe here anymore ... I don't blame her after what he did ... After what we did." Belphie says clenshing his fists.

"I never threatened her." Beel said sadly.

"Never did I as well." Asmo adds. "But we didn't protect her either."

To this, the brothers remained silent. Saddness, guilt and regret in their eyes.

"I still do not agree with how Mammon supported her on her decision and went against us." Levi finally said. "What a ... a ... a ..."

"A what?" Satan asks.

"I don't know. This is weird. I can't bring myself to insult Mammon anymore." Levi realizes in awe.

"Are you ... afraid of HIM?" Asmo teases.

"I AM NOT ... I think. I feel something like ... RESPECT?????"

A loud gasp from everyone fills the entire room.

"I feel it too ..." Beels confesses.

"I know what you are talking about." Belphie shares avoiding eye contact.

"My skin cannot support the blood pressure of a choc of this magnitude. I need a moisturizer." Asmo dramatically announces. "But I admit, he is kind of sexy throwing orders, leading with such an iron fist.The charming prince out of the swamp's ugly usless frog."

"So we all agree." Levi says annoyed shaking his head.

To this, everyone turns his head to Satan quiet this whole time.

He feels the eyes on him, his face goes tomatoe red and deturns his face from all.

They all explode laughing hysterically. Asmo throwing himself on the bed laughing outloud, Levi hitting his thigh with his hand tear laughing, Beel choking on his snack and Belphie palming his face shaking his head disappointingly.

"I respect anyone capable of landing one on Lucifer's face and sending him to his room." Satan finally says.

To his answer, the brothers go into a second round of frentic laughter.

"I heard my name. What is so funny?" Mammon enters the room.

Hearing his voice, the demons collect themselves briskly.

"What is wrong with y'all?" Mammon says confused. "I warn ya, if you are ploting some stupid prank on me amma beat ya asses." Mammon steps back at the realization of the genuine effect of his threat on the group.

He clears his throat: "I want us to do something. All together. As a family." Mammon says seriously making eye contact with each of his brothers. They all look at him in readiness. "We need to go and talk to Lucifer."

"NEVER!" Levi shouts. "I am not talking to him E.V.E.R."

"Levi is right. He almost killed our sweetheart in cold blood." Says Asmo infuriated.

"Listen. I am not denying what he did. I am moving forward from what he did." Mammon arguments gently.

"Who says we want to move forward?" Beel frowns at Mammon. Belphie, Levi and Asmo nodd at his remark.

"We want to move forward because we have always been reacting to what happens here. second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth and seventh born, we have always been relying on the first. Following whatever easy out from responsibility comes. Letting Lucifer innitiates ... Letting MC innitiates." Mammon closes his eyes in regret. "For once I am asking you to take an initiative that isn't anyone else's. This is our family. Lucifer is our brother."

"I know. But I can't forgive what he did to MC, the way he did it." Belphie rejects.

"You heard what she said." Satan gets involved. "She said: "Find the strenght in you to forgive Lucifer as a brother. What happened between us as lovers is up to me alone to forgive or not. But for the sake of your family ... my family. Forgive Lucifer. When you do, I'll find my place among you again." If we want to protect MC, this time, we need to give her back her place home."

The demons look down thoughtful, surrendering. Mammon gives Satan a look of gratitude to which Satan nodds with a smile.

"Come with me, I have something to show ya." Mammon invites his brothers.

Standing at the entrence of Lucifer's study, looking at his brothers digging their affairs in the pile of papers downstairs, Mammon says to Satan: "Dontcha wanna go dig our truth with'em?"

"Thank you, but I had my share of it yesterday after you went to Lucifer's. I have no intention of rereading his proofs on me sabbotaging his work and reputation across the Devildom."

Mammon smirks sarcastically.

######################

Lucifer seeing his brothers all gathered in his room couldn't remember if they had ever been all seven gathered here before. All gathered other than to be given a lecture.

Asmo was explaining how the lack of sleep and nutrition is bad for demons' nerves and skin. How he has been so superficial never seeing through his eyes and pains. That he found him very handsome and loves him dearly.

Levi shared how he has always been envious of his achievements, intelligence and success with girls up in the celestial realm and down here. That he knows he should be more present for the family but always counted on Lucifer to do more for him to do less.

Beel just wanted him to know he no longer holds grudges regarding what happened with Belphie and Lilith and wanted him to know he is grateful for everything and will always get his back.

Belphie knew he was the least present with the family and his activity, when awake, mostly consists of ploting pranks against Lucifer. He apologised for making his life harder for amusement.

Satan looked at Lucifer embaraced: "Don't expect me to say anything. You know everything there is already. I know wrath more than anyone. I was close to this same situation myself and you prevented me from crossing the line. You were there for me. I wasn't there for you. If you weren't there that day I would have appreciated to be forgiven afterwards. This is one reason why I forgive you. The other reason is ... you deserve to have such proof of affection." Satan finishes looking away completely.

Mammon was proud of his brothers all coming together. And for once he felt he did the right thing. That him, also, was their older brother. Walking away from the group hug he was ready to gamble the night away with Satan's credit card sleeping so comfortably in his pocket.

...

"Wait ... Where is my credit card? it was right here in my .... MAMMOOOON!!!" Satan screamed running after the second born.

"How lovely, we are back!" Asmo says. "Wait Satan amma help you hang him to the ceiling."

Lucifer chuckled at the view of the hord running after Mammon calling him all those funny names. He was ready. Ready to punish Mammon, to let Levi play, Satan read, Asmo fuck, Beel eat and Belphie sleep. But he more than anything knew next time things will get hard he won't have one nor two nor three demons he could relay on and sleep tight. He will have six.

After that night, things came back to normal ... almost. The brothers were silly and goofy like always but were making sure to genuinely check on each other.

Lucifer came back to work, more reasonably. Especially after Diavolo knew his part of responsibility in Lucifer snapping and made sure he doesn't send more than the demon could handle. This being already a lot, both were satisfied.

##################

"You will return to the House of Lamentation tomorrow?" Barbatos asks you.

"Yes, as usual. I miss my boys. Let me know as soon as Lucifer is done here so I can come back to the Castle before he goes home." You say.

"I will, as usual."

You have been sharing your time between two homes. In the Castle when Lucifer is at the House of Lamentation and in the House of Lamentation when Lucifer comes to the Castle for work. Needless to say you haven't met since the fatidic day. He sent you several letters that you never opened and requested to see you more than a hundred times. You always declined.

"Aren't you tired MC?" Barbatos inquired.

"I am. But it is necessary."

"For how long still?"

"I don't know."

"You forgave him already, didn't you?"

To this observation, you feel your blood freeze in your veins. You look at Barbatos in pain, hands shaking. "How is it possible to forgive so much? So easily?"

"You have a pure heart, MC. Although it is handicaping, it is not a weakness."

"How can you say it isn't one when it almost brought the death of me? I keep forgiving and forgetting even when I don't want to. I can't control my will to see good in everyone. Even if I see their evil, live it, feel it ... hug it. A simple word, a simple smile, a simple memory makes me forget it all. This isn't how things should be."

"How should they be?"

"I should be immuned. After every deception, heart break, betrial, I should be immuned. I should be able to better protect myself. But here I am turning in cercles."

"So this is why you refuse to see him? You are afraid not to feel cold towards him? To still see good in him?"

You laugh bitterly. "My poor Barbatos. I am afraid I would hug him ... I know I would." You lift your head to look at the demon tears in your eyes laughing at your misery.

Barbatos lowers his gaze not knowing what to say for the first time of his existence.

"You saw everything, didn't you?" You ask Barbatos.

"What did I see?"

"Come on Barb. I know you'd never resist the urge to travel in time just to see what happened that day with your own eyes."

"I indeed did come back and witnessed it all."

"Have you noticed?"

"What should I have noticed?"

"When I told him I made a pact with you to protect you he answered "To protect me?Just now? After what?". He wasn't talking to me. He was talking to Lilith, wasn't he?"

"He was."

"He saw in me everything. His brothers and their troubles. Diavolo's project and his assignements. Lilith who helped me help Belphie and not him. A human with a pact with his name on. Everything ... Everything but me. He didn't see me. The human who will die sooner than him having his first white hair. Yet here using up her little time waiting for him. The fragile body against his endless power coming to him and him striking it away. The woman loved by many yet only loyal to him. I want to punish him. Take away from him the only thing his pride would never give him. My love. Selfless, pure, endless love."

Barbatos was looking at you saying those sharp words tears coming down your face yet without an ounce of mercy in your eyes. So this is the human's heart break power he always heard about. He was both fascinated and terrified.

#####################

"Why didn't MC come for a sleepower this time like every time Lucifer stays at the Castle?" Beel asks Mammon at the dinner table.

"She said she wanna prepare for next week's exam and she needs calm." Mammon answers.

"It's all because of you making her binge watch your movies all night every time she comes over." Asmo reprimended Mammon.

"Oie ... Not like Levi doesn't make her watch anime and play games till dawn."

"Don't blame me. Blame Asmo and Belphie forcing her to cuddle all night." Levi passes the ball to Asmo again.

"I never forced anything on anyone. She loves me." Belphie says teasing.

"Don't say nonesense cow demon. MC isn't that stupid." Satan attacks Belphie.

Mammon throws a napkin on Satan's face hearing Lucifer coming back home after a night spent at the Castle to signale to him to change subject. Lucifer is very sensitive hearing about you. The brothers try not to bring you infront of him to avoid hearing his heart shatter at every mention of your name.

Lucifer knowing you were coming back to the House of Lamentation at each of his absences, made it his routine to spend couple days working at the Castle making excuses of his destroyed study. This gave you time to enjoy yourself with the brothers. And with a pain in the chest, the night he comes back, Lucifer would sneak into your room to smell your recent presence on the bed sheets. He was looking forward to coming back tonight just for this. To hug your pillow pretending you were still together, pretending he was giving you the time he should have gave you before and you deserved, faking a hope to wake up on a kiss of yours, pretending you still want him as much as he wants you. He will sneak into your room this night as well. But he won't find your smell.

Last night you haven't been in the House of Lamentation as Lucifer, Barbatos and Diavolo think. You haven't been at the Castle as the six demon brothers think either.

##################

"She is going to die, this is too powerful for her body." The first witch screamed.

"We warned her. She knows the risks. We cannot stop the ritual now." The second witch persisted.

"It's time. Prepare yourselves. The fragmentation is about to begin." The third witch announces.

The three witches joined in a cercle holding hands reciting incantations as your body flew above their heads surrounded in an orb of energy several shadow demons flying frentically around it.

In your despair of vowing your love to the wrong demon and incapacity of your heart to hold on the facts and protect you from the dangers and surrow, you turned to the three most powerful witches on earth. You took the opportunity of Mammon sneaking into your room at the Castle one night to take the contact of the witches from his D.D.D. The witches were happy to help in exchange for the money they never got back from Mammon. It wasn't that hard gathering the needed money selling pictures of Asmo sleeping to his fans. Lucifer was right, being so close to Mammon, he did rob off some of his shady skills on you.

Your wish was simple: Forget every memory you ever had with Lucifer as a lover. The hugs, the kisses, the butterflies, the pillow talks, the good mornings, the goodnights. Every memory of you two together. This and your love for him out of you.

How does someone even take a love out? You wanted whatever part in you responsible of loving him to die. You wanted to be sure to never be able to love him even if he is face to face with you, looking at you with his crimson eyes filled with the purest of love screaming your name.

For witches as strong, this was a piece of cake. Only if your love wasn't that pure.

Your love for Lucifer was quite unusual. The sincerity of it, the depth of it caused your love to no longer be in your heart but imprint your very soul. What an irony. Lucifer who was teasing you with eating your soul, did it in a way. To kill this love of yours your soul had to be taken out and fragmented. Lucifer's fragement would be given to the shaddow demons for them to eat. Only then the rest of your soul fragements would be returned to you.

What can go wrong? Everything. Literally everything. Any mistake means the death to your body. And your soul, now shattered in several pieces, would be lost in the shaddows for eternity. Somehow this was more gentle on your heart than Lucifer's betrial.

The shaddow demons got crazy animated around you at the view of your pure shiny soul. The witches could barely control the fragmentation with all the excitement. You feel it get out in a painful and sharp scream. You can see Lucifer's face smiling at you, Lucifer screaming at you, Lucifer confessing to you, Lucifer striking you, Lucifer waving at you, Lucifer standing in your blood. One image after another in a storm of feelings and memories. Then ... Nothing.

The shadow demons are no longer here. You are laying on the floor. The witches are above you.

"Is she dead?" The first witch asked.

The third witch approaches you and looks for your pulse. She laughs: "What a stubborn little girl, I even bet she would die before the ritual ends."

"This explains why they are that much intrested in her down there." The second witch says.

"Well, our work here is finished." Announces the third witch. "You! Shaddow demon, you got what you wanted. Your price will be to take this child and bring her back to the Devildom. Make sure no one sees you. We do not guarantee your safety."

The witches fly away and you are brought back to the Devildom. Put in the parc under one of the trees there.

################

"What do you mean she told you she is staying at the Castle?" Lucifer asks a half awake Mammon worriedly.

"Oie ... She texted me saying she wasn't comin'. Why are ya asking? What's happening? What time is it?" Mammon buffles.

"It is happening that when I was at the Castle, Babatos told me she came here to spend the night the other day." Lucifer announces shaking.

It didn't take much before the whole house was awake. The people at the Castle alerted. No one knew where you were at and everyone was looking for you.

Few hours later, Lucifer is running back to the House.

"She is upstairs on her bed. We found her passed out in the parc. But she is doing fine." Satan at the door tries to calm his brother down.

In a heart beat Lucifer was infront of you beside your bed. Eyes filled with tears, breathless, shaking to your sight. It has been so long! So much had happened! But you are here ... finally!

"Lucifer?" You blink curiously to him.

Lucifer flinches at your voice and gaze. You never call him other than Luce. Something was missing ... everything was missing. The warmth in your voice to him, the smile on your lips, the pink cheeks, the deep welcoming look. He hesitates a moment then approaches you very slowly. He gives you his hands at which you look not understanding what he wants then you finally take them.

Something was definitely very wrong. These were your hands but not the ones he knows. Their warmth, their tenderness were gone. It's like your hands no longer fit in his. He looks around trying to find someone who feels the way he does but everyone was just happy having you back, seeing you gathered in the same room with Lucifer without you trying to run away or him trying to kill you. You do not see the distress in his eyes and the confusion in his heart then turn your head to joke with the boys no longer aware of his presence next to you.

Lucifer goes out of your room and meets Barbatos. "I apologise Lucifer, she apparently wanted to be alone and wondered till she passed out in the gardens of cold. But she is all good now. No need to worry." Lucifer didn't really hear what the butler was telling him. He kept walking numb to his room.

Once alone ... he cried. He wasn't crying a regret, nor crying a heartache. He was crying a death. His love passed away tonight with no funerals, giving up on him to an eternity of silent condolences.

####################

Not everyone who hurt you will know or recognize they did. Not everyone will apologise to you. Not everyone will cry your loss. Most will never. Before you give a piece of your soul make sure you'll at least deserve the tears of Lucifer on your departure. Otherwise, you would have been feeding the shaddow demons all along.

Thank you for reading me and gifting me with the only thing you truly possess, your time. The end!

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sukibenders · 10 months

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Some in the Bridgerton fandom will paint Kate as being in an abusive family, paint Edwina and Mary (even Lady Danbury at times) as these villainous people who make her life miserable just to make Anthony and his family the "better choice". Like, ignoring how this trope of "villainous poc family causing the poc female character to run away into arms of a white family" is so terrible it also makes no sense when in reference to these characters themselves. Let's start with the Sharmas: we have Kate who is the daughter of a man who remarried and had a child of their own. Now, from that alone people just outright use this as a way to paint Mary in a bad light, making up the most outlandish things, when Mary admits very adamantly that she always viewed Kate as her daughter and has/will always love her. Why do you think she was so outraged by Kate being willing to accept the deal given by the Sheffields?

Now, on to Edwina. Some will hang that "half-sister" line over her head but won't give the same action to Anthony, or heck, even Kate (though she doesn't deserve hate like Anthony more so criticism for some parts). Now the line was wrong, for sure, but that doesn't mean Edwina wasn't in her right. Here we have a young girl who lost her father, is aware of her family's social and economic status, and is informed from the beginning that her finding a suitable match will either tip or support the balance of her family's lives. Edwina is literally entered into the show searching for a husband to help support her family, that's first, romance came second. So enter Anthony who, infront of her, is so charming and kind and even though him and her sister are fighting at times he still seeks her out. He's wealthy and promises to provide for her family, something that she wants. Only to find out that none of it was real, or at least, real towards her and that she was hurt in the process (by this I refer to the Sheffields ordeal and Anthony's whole attitude and his lack of respect for her). Like that's messed up and anyone would be upset over it, forgive a woman (more so a young woman in Edwina's case) expressing their feelings. Some of you want her to be Kate's cheerleader 24/7, and it shows. And Edwina was always ready to comfort Kate, from her (Kate) being detached from the world (during her wedding) to her supporting her (Kate) and Anthony being together, so let's not go on and say the Bridgertons would be better.

Now, on to the main family themselves, what we see of the Bridgertons in s2 isn't even that positive when you really think about it. From the beginning, when Anthony is looking for a wife with the most horrible standards, Violet, who notes that her son isn't looking for marriage for the right reasons and instead of trying to talk to him about it, instantly goes and states she's disappointed by his outlook and fears he won't be happy, confused as to why he's this way. BECAUSE YOU PLACED THAT WEIGHT ON HIM. Like I understand losing her husband was terrible, it was, but to then put all that pressure and weight on to your eldest and then become surprised when it starts affecting him in ways you don't like, while taking hardly any time to actually talk about his feelings, is laughable (couldn't think of a better word). Like whenever Anthony is around with valid points, she looks exasperated at times. And the other Bridgertons aren't better from Daphne literally pitying him (even tho she knew about his feelings for Kate and could have eased the situation instead of letting it go on) to Bennedict laughing at him at every turn to the siblings joking about the situation he put them in (which they themselves could have prevented but didn't & aren't affected as severely by like the Sharmas), it makes no sense how people would view them as better than the Sharmas.

Now on to Kate and how this view affects her. One big reason being is the fact that it ignores her insecurities, only paints them in a different light. Kate didn't view herself as Mary's daughter because her father had been with someone before he met Mary, long after she was born. She didn't think Mary would love her as a daughter and is surprised when she finds out that she actually does. Kate accepts the Sheffields deal because it will help Edwina, because she (Kate) understands their social and economic status and is willing to leave the only family she has just for them to be secure and happy. That's the reason she has turmoil, not because her family hates her and is abusing her! Like where did that thought even come from? Kate has issues of not expressing her feelings, bottling them up and trying to handle things herself until it blows over, that's it. And when she does express them, do you know who actively seeks to reassure her? Her mother and sister. They don't make jokes or make the environment able to express these emotions nonexistent (like the Bridgertons with Anthony), they try to help her because they love her.

Honestly, the Sharmas deserve so much better because if it isn't the show doing them dirty than it's the fandom.

[Quick edit because people were taking some things out of context, by sneaking behind her (Edwina) back, I was referring to the whole Sheffield incident because, when it's revealed, it literally put her, and her sister and mother, in an awkward position and makes her and her family look like bad people, especially in front of the Bridgertons. I reworded my original post and added context, and admit I could have worded it better, but for those who saw it as me immediately trashing Kate's character, I will state here that was nowhere near the intent and never was, sorry for the slip up]

#kate sharma #edwina sharma #mary sharma #anthony bridgerton #the sharmas #the bridgertons #dni if you can't have a calm conversation here

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elialys · 3 months

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Channeling positive energy for 2024

I have been very listless for at least the last couple of years (if not since 2020 and the whole pandemic mess), resulting in a pretty rough depressive episode that peaked this last November. It's hard to feel motivated to do anything concrete to improve your own life when everything around you is just...bleak. And this world does suck so much, so often, in so many ways.

But then I remember how I innately believe that most people are good, and that I am good, too, and that the one thing that always makes me feel better when I'm low is to do something helpful for someone, or to just be kind if I don't have the spoons for more.

(Putting this big ramble under read more)

I think I've mentioned it here before but I've made the decision to try and get into a new field of work, which involves at least two if not three years of studying. Let me tell you, I'm about to turn 36 in a couple of weeks. It's scary as fuck to do something like this. But this job, if I get into the school I need to get into, will be perfect for me. I'll be helping people who need guidance and compassion basically every day.

The bond I got to build with my students was my absolutely favorite part of teaching, but I got overwhelmed by everything else. I burned myself out in less than four years because I became a workaholic who worked 70 hours a week, never took a breath, tried tried tried, yet never felt like I was doing enough. The pressure was incredible, the 'I have to be around hundreds of people every single day', performing in front of entire classrooms full of kids 6h a day'...it just wore me down. Loved my kiddos to death, loved my science team so much, but then the pandemic hit and I lost a few family members within a few months, and I realized it was time for me to go home after 12 years abroad.

The meanest part of my brain likes to tell me I've spent the last four years being basically a useless human blob, but realistically, I know I wasn't. I had been working my ass off since 2011, when I was in America nannying two young kids all day long then going to school full time at night/weekends, before being hired as a teacher in England for 4 years.

I needed the break, I needed time with my loved ones. I needed to help grieving family members, especially my little sister with ASD, who had to learn to navigate life without her mom, who also developed epilepsy on top of everything else while our father pretended nothing was happening. I needed to spend time with my grandmother, who did so much for me when I was young and who's all alone, now. I'll even go as far as saying I've been working on fixing things with my mother this past year living with her, which was not an easy thing. Still isn't, but it's so much better than it used to be, and she's trying, too.

But I'm ready to get my life "back on track", or at least, to get busier , more proactive, more helpful to others who aren't in my inner circle, because I know that's what I'm good at, and why I'm here.

So, yeah, channeling positive thoughts for 2024. I'm not only going to work on getting into that school in the next few weeks, I also just received an email a couple days ago from an editor I used to work with. She's a writing director somewhere else now, and they need writers for a new webcomic project; she told me she immediately thought of me because they'd always been happy with my work, so I'm going to test for that, too, because why the hell not. Actually getting paid for the stuff I was writing a couple of years ago was the most surreal, rewarding experience of my writer life, and I wouldn't mind that happening again.

I want to give the biggest shoutout to my best friend & other butt cheek, @melusine0811, for helping me navigate those last four years, for always believing in me, and for being so fucking courageous when life is just so damn hard. Lauren, you're the bravest person I know, and forever my Donna Noble.

And because I'm sappy this weekend, awards and all, I'm also sending my thanks to my Australian unicorn, just for existing somewhere out there, for being a role model to me from afar these last thirteen years, for being another perfect example of people persevering no matter what, doing the things they love, while always trying to be kind to others in the process. I don't believe in much, but I believe in karma. You do good deeds, good things will happen to you.

Be kind to each other, my lovelies. Always be kind.

#personal #about me #just putting my thoughts and feelings down #encouraging positivity for myself #and for anyone who needs it ❤️#2024 i'm coming for you

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a-libra-writes · 1 year

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hello may I request some romantic headcanons for atlas from Lackadaisy?

Alrighty, I did my best~ He's an interesting guy to think about, for sure. This is intended for a femme reader!

There's a few ways you two could have met. Given that Atlas May has a "proper businessman" reputation by day, it wouldn't be hard for you two to meet at a ritzy country club or some fundraiser your family put on. If you're the less posh sort, then there's always the Lackadaisy itself. His partner would certainly not be a "rough" sort, or involved directly in crime - like being a triggerman or owning a distillery. He still has a reputable image to maintain and a seemingly "proper" would help with that.

You're probably the only one who can get him to laugh, albeit it's low and more of a chuckle (Some of his business partners didn't even think he could manage it). When you're both in private, he's often glancing at you with a soft expression. He never looks away when you catch him; if anything, he gestures you to come closer.

(In public his expression is almost always schooled to one of calm indifference, so it's a treat to see otherwise).

Atlas has many private nicknames for you. There's "little dear", "my kitten", or "my lady" if he thinks you're being charmingly stubborn. And yes, he likes being the older and taller one. When you aren't within earshot, he often refers to you as "the missus" in a warm tone that his colleagues and workers don't hear much.

Atlas isn't one for PDA, in fact, there might be a wall of propriety that's hard to cross. Your arm will be in his, you'll both stand at the appropriate distance. It's when the relationship gets more serious that he'll bring you closer during dances, or hold your hand and kiss it in front of others, or give you a kiss on the cheek before helping you into the car.

(Overall he's always gentlemanly, holding doors and handing you his jacket on a cold evening, and so on.)

In private he's far more willing to let you sit in his lap and soak up as much attention as you want. At first it may have felt like you were always the one initiating the affection, which ... was probably true. Atlas is a naturally closed off man. Eventually, he's the one wanting you to come over and sit with him, wanting to touch your hair and run his hands over your legs. Once you get past that icy wall, he takes great comfort in your presence.

Sitting beside him in the evening is a little ritual you both develop. You put on a record, Atlas smokes while he looks over some papers. He sets them aside when you walk over and curl up beside him, and he listens to your day and you ask about his. The fireplace is warm and cozy, the settee is just the same. If you fall asleep, he just strokes your hair and goes back to reading.

No surprise, he loves giving you expensive gifts and lovely things to wear. Atlas doesn't show it much outwardly, but it makes him proud when you're clearly pleased with the gifts and when you spend extra time trying to decide what to wear. Watching you get ready for an evening date is something he likes quite a lot, but he'll pass it off as just wanting to talk to you about something. His eyes say otherwise, though.

(Oh, and you get to have a rare playful Atlus moment - he likes to sneak behind you he is so quiet and whisper something, just to make you startle and mess up whatever you were doing. You have no idea why this amuses him so much.)

Atlas is strict about his employees treating you respectfully; even the ... less than upstanding ones. If you're someone who was already socializing with the staff of Lackadaisy, then there's no problem, though they might feel some pressure to keep you from the less than savory parts of the business. Viktor and Mordecai are used to guarding or escorting you for certain events, as they're the only two that Atlas trusts completely.

On the subject of sketchy business, Atlas will not bring it up if you choose to not involve yourself at all. If you're visiting the Lackadaisy often, asking him questions, wanting to be involved - even if you're clever and savvy, he isn't inclined to let you in on it. For one, it could put you in direct danger with his rivals, and two, he's more an old-fashioned type of man. He'd rather you enjoy his lavish manor or arrange luncheons with important wives of so-and-so in the daytime, rather than dealing with the underbelly of his speakeasy.

If you two end up marrying, that means meeting your family. This may be the first time Atlas does so; using business as an excuse to avoid it before. While he's perfectly cordial (and being rich helps), they might express concern at his aloofness. Atlas also isn't one for grand holidays or huge family get togethers; I can see his upbringing as being more distant and cold, so that's what he's familiar with. He'd rather have a private holiday with the two of you than some big, loud to-do with lots of planning... but of course, he wouldn't want to risk upsetting you or your family, so he finds a fine line to walk. Though, if you're distant from your family or don't even have one, none of this applies.

The wedding is a small, but lavish affair. He keeps a gorgeous framed photo of the special day in the main sitting room, and photo of just you in your wedding dress in his office. He also has a small photo in his wallet.

Atlas never thought much of having children, though he understands it's expected, so he figures it'll happen if and when it happens. Just as his own father, he can be distant, but he does try for your sake. The child(ren) would want for nothing, just as you. He might allow the child to sit on his knee while he does paperwork or reads in the evening, and comes along with you when you take them out to the park. He refuses to allow any children into the bar, or even the Little Daisy cafe - he doesn't want to risk any potential thugs spotting them. This also means he's not eager to take them to social events where they might be photographed. Paranoid, maybe ... But Atlas always been very protective of you, as well.

Seriously, anyone who even vaguely threatens you within earshot of him will be dealt with. Either immediately, or within a few days... but they will be dealt with.

#we certain tried boys #atlas may x reader #lackadaisy x reader

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thekoopalingsandstuffs · 9 days

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>The next morning; Still Broodals' house<

Rango: "Ahhh..." *Lays down on the couch* "Watching a kid is hard work! SUPER fun!! But exhaaausting!"

Topper: "Mm-hm." *Watching the TV*

Rango: "Buuut, I better get used to it!! I'm prolly gonna have to do a LOTTA babysitting this Summer!! Maybe Mr. & Mrs. Para will recommend me to their friends...! And their friends' friends!! Before I know it, I'll be babysitting a whole daycare worth of children!!!"

Topper: "Um. First of all, fuck that." *Pauses the TV* "And second. Now that our little unexpected guest is gone... Are you ready to check your blood test results?"

Rango: "... Um."

Topper: *Pulls out the file*

Rango: "......" *Looks around* "I... I-I don't wanna look!!"

Topper: ? "Rango, wha... Bud, we've talked about this! You're scared that the results will say something bad, but... It's better to know something's wrong than for it to be killing you without you being aware! Right...?"

Rango: "I-I guess so..."

Topper: "Then be a big boy, and let's look!! Together. Okay?"

Rango: "A-Alright..."

Rango: "... Welllll, looks like we'll never find out if I have diabetes after all!!!!!" :D "So, now-'

Topper: "Wait! Doesn't Dee's dad... Like... Work at a pharmacy or something...? He probably knows lots about medical shit! We can go take this to him and ask him what it means!!"

Rango: "... Greaaat..."

>At Beef & Kaley's house<

Topper: ! "What'd it say??"

Beef: "Among other things... Diabetes. Type 2. We just discussed a couple of different elements displayed in the results, such as pressure and cholesterol, but that was obviously the most prominent... Changes in diet & lifestyle, purchasing insulin, getting a CGM, speaking with an actual doctor, and other actions will have to be made to help take care of this, but for now, just taking the time to process should be you and your family's priority."

Topper: "Aw man." :[ "Rango? You alright?"

Rango: *Sniffle* "Y-Y-Yeahhh..."

Kaley: "Oh, was that it, then? You kiddos can go home if you want to!"

Topper: "Glad to know we aren't being held captive!" *Chuckles* "C'mon bro, let's go... And thank you for hosting us, guys! We'll be back to visit soon!"

Beef: "Any time!! Tell Hariet and Stewart it'd be nice for them to pay us a visit with you! I know they're quite the busy lot, but we'd appreciate the company!"

Kaley: "How 'bout a dinner party next week?"

Topper: "We'll look into it!"

Rango: "......." :'{

>On the way home<

Topper: "Uhhhhh... Okay. That's enough. Rango. Are you alright??"

Rango: "Y-Yes, Topper, I'm p-perfectly fine!!"

Topper: "Mm-hm. Sure you are. You look like your eyes really want to cry, but for soooooome reason, your face just won't let them!"

Rango: "I have n-no clue what y-you're talking about..."

Topper: "Man. Do you think I'm stupid or something?? I'd be sobbing every fluid out of my body if I were in your position!! I don't think trying to hold that back is doing you any good. It'll just give you wrinkles and a tumor or some shit... So. I dunno. Just cry and get it over with!! Listening to you suck that back is really weirding me out."

Rango: "..............." *Sniffle* "I d-don't know what y-you mean."

Topper: -_- *Groans*

Rango: "I... N-No, I didn't r-really, honestly..."

Topper: "I figured. But now you know. Don't expect me to say this again, but... I love ya. And I can tell trying not to cry right now is hurting you. I don't want you to hurt. So." *Opens his arms* "Let it out. Or something."

Rango: "..."

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fuwaprince · 9 months

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I'm howling as in doing whatever Howl is doing here in this gif

Got no family, my friends are all far and most aren't even in positions to support themselves (bless them) let alone others/questionably-worthy me. Life feels almost loveless, the economy sucks and I still haven't got a job. I get daily reminders that the people closest to me don't particularly enjoy me taking up space.

My body is twitching and I'm just so alone. I don't speak as in talk to anybody who actually likes and wants to talk to me so whenever I use my voice it's usually to defend myself or escape an interrogative situation. Barelyyyy eating enough. I'm actively losing weight not in a good way

This next one is big.

The one person willing to help me irl is a disrespectful creep to say the least. I'm hurt that people can be so shallow and sickly motivated. I'm sad that no one else here cares. His care comes off so insincerely when he says it's "because he GENUINELY loves me" but consistently doesn't fuckin act very loving. Do I block him? HOW COULD I? I TRULY depend on him for emergencies... rides to interviews, for covering the difference when I'm short on rent, for food when begging doesn't work. He was the only person willing to look for me when I was on the streets and maybe his reason for doing so wasn't very nice but he did it. That means something to me I guess? What does it mean?

I straight up BEG this dude "PLEASE... DO NOT only decide to help my desperate ass based on the premise that you expect your fantasies (that I'm going to be pressured enough into becoming your wife legal possession at the end of all this) to turn into reality!!!!!!".

When I need a hug and have no one but he says he's willing to drive to see me, I HATE knowing I need to say no because I know it's also like saying yes to something else secretly!!! I just want hugs. Innocent physical intimacy. Handholding, just sitting on a bench close enough to touch! I need a hug more than I need food sometimes so it feels.

If I ask him to stop, he asks WHY HUH? 😡 while continuing. Anyone remember Boris from Dreaming Mary? He does this all the time so I expect it when I see him and he immediately gets touchy. When I kindly remind him that I'm not interested, he suddenly shifts into offended fucking asshole. Rude comments. Degradation. Suddenly starts talking about his gun and how he wants to shoot it and wants a new one 🙄. Sometimes it's pettier punishment like I'll be lucky to get a response if I dare mention anybody else especially if I love them more than him. I grieved my ex gf and he was just not happy about that at all. Kept demanding I explain why it couldn't be him and kept being all "what makes her so great? 🙄 pfft" ( EVERYTHING BTW SHE WAS THE MOON AND STARS AND I WILL FOREVER STAY LOYAL TO HER). But no this dude gets NASTY MEAN. Don't fall for the sad boy shit. Like he hopes I fucking starve without him type shit!!!!!!!!!! He'll ignore me complaining about hunger pains all the time but when he wants to he'll ignore me and then come back after some period of punishment (shunning) like "did you want food? get ready so you can get a small snack" "there's snacks at my house" and what am I going to say??? No???? Well actually that is exactly correct. I do say no because I'm that fucking seriously not interested and I choose to starve over taking that.

He gets angry but he knows his demands aren't possible. NOT A CHANCE . I'll say it to his face. I have to walk on eggshells but I still hate to be taken advantage of because I'm not standing my ground.

He still tries to tower over me and shit when I'm turned around and I elbow/kick behind me to remind him I fucking feel his body heat because that's how close he is without actually touching me. He likes to do that in stores. I was in so much pain from cramps that I accepted his offer to go to the store in the middle of the night. There was a store open down the street from my house but he chose to drive to the one farthest away and says oops when I ask where he's going. He misses every exit he possibly can before I catch on when taking me back to where I live on the way back from trips like these. He always does that. It's so manipulative and shitty. Just take me fucking home.

One time he saw I had a stun gun in my bag while going through it without my permission and he said I didn't need to carry that around him and I said I sure as hell do. Which fucking sucks. Any normal person would just exit and block but if I did that, who would I be able to turn to? He really has caused me trouble but I would be in greater trouble without him and that's the truth. The only answer is to lean on myself or get the support of the state, which I was receiving and then my mom sabotaged (!) So it got cancelled which is why I'm depending on the help that he happens to offer! Do you see the issues there? I don't have any family. My friends can't help me besides sending me virtual hugs and everybody is so tired. They're doing their best not to be depressed and here I come! A doomsday cloud big enough to cover the sun. I wouldn't want to talk to me either. I've been blocked for asking for help from friends just because people don't want to be involved and don't want the stress. I remember "I want that shit out of my hair".

Another thing: I call my stuffed animal my son because like... Idk. He's my son!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And that creepy asshole fucker kept calling him HIS SON and OUR SON and I got so pissed and kept correcting him. The same way I would correct him when he'd call me his girlfriend to his friends.

Can someone who isn't him please care more than he does?

#long post #negative #vent

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bessievosz49407 · 3 months

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The Last Word Water Gun Fight Guide

Step Four: To play the sport, place a target bag in a room and stand a distance away from it. Step Five: Throw the foam circle until you hit the goal. Step Six: Count how many throws it takes to hit the target, and write down the score. Step Seven: Place the next bag in another room, and try to hit the goal. Step Eight: Finish the game with the third bag in another room. Step Nine: The particular person with the lowest score wins. Some games don't want a friend to be fun. Learn extra about how your youngsters can have enjoyable Going Solo. No problem with Going Solo. All your child actually wants are two hands and numerous power! The 1st step: Tie a internet or rope onto two objects, so your little one is ready to get beneath it easily. Step Two: Stand on one side of the web.

Should I Cave on My "No Toy Guns" Policy? I all the time thought I’d hold firm on it, however my son is begging for a water gun. My 5-Year-Old Keeps Bursting Into Tears. We need to Get to the underside of It. Care and Feeding is Slate’s parenting advice column. Have a question for Care and Feeding? We are the mother and father of a 6-12 months-outdated boy. As a family we're very anti-gun and, frankly, anti-weapons of any form. Since our son was little, our philosophy has been to avoid any toy weapons. However, our son always sees youngsters on the park with water guns and it’s turn into a little bit of an obsession for him. If somebody gives to let him play with a water orbi gun, I let him. But now he’s been begging for a water gun. The issue is all the water guns I find are very gunlike. I’ve found myself wondering if we have to let go of our "no toy weapons" coverage.

The pandemic caused many teams to learn to function and practice in smaller components. Primarily this was to assist in teams not falling in poor health. However, this concept isn't new and has been promoted since Mumbai with a purpose to be ready to answer MACTAC-type incidents. So in hindsight, this pressured many to lastly see that working in small components is efficient. Our function in giant-scale area pressure sort incidents can also be inflicting us to rethink our twentieth-century techniques to 21st-century threats. The groups we face should not using the tactics that they used within the late nineties and early- to mid-2000s. They have improved their techniques, methods and procedures (TTPs) and so ought to we. For example, a problem is and has at all times been hostile elements throwing back gas canisters. So, why can we continue to deploy fuel canisters? Granted, they've a mission-specific place, however we'd like an sincere re-evaluation of equipment.

Yes to all of this. Brightly coloured nerf guns and water guns are Ok, like colored foam swords and shields. No head photographs for something, and if somebody doesn’t need to play, you don’t shoot/hit them. Hard no for real-looking weapons. My children turn sticks into guns, so telling them no gun play is a non-starter. Instead, we talk about how weapons can kill folks, which makes individuals scared and upset, and they should respect it if their associates don’t wish to play those video games. We also talk about how they need to do the Eddie Eagle sequence: Stop, Don’t Touch, Leave the area, Tell an Adult in the event that they ever see a gun that isn’t one in all their toys, no matter what. Should you and your good friend find a gun, you leave. In case your buddy won’t depart with you, go away anyway. My dad has all the time owned plenty of guns, but they're stored in locked safes. My husband has a handgun that is in a locked protected, ammo locked in a distinct safe, and both in an area of our home the place children aren’t allowed/don’t play. We plan to let the kids shoot an actual handgun at a goal after we visit my dad later this 12 months. I’m going for. The message will probably be : Guns aren't toys, they destroy things. Responsible adults (and youngsters with a accountable grownup) can get pleasure from target capturing or searching as a interest, but you do it with range rules, ear safety, and so on to ensure everyone is safe.

Unlike most water guns, this fast draw and quick-firing water gun from Nerf has a flip-open rotating barrel that may hold six darts, which will be shot as much as 90 toes. With this, not solely do you have essentially the most uniquely designed water gun, but you even have lots of benefits on the subject of water battles throughout your summertime trip. Sporting a cutting-edge design, these Heytech large boys can shoot water at 32 feet, which is ideal for gunslingers who wish to snipe their foes from afar. They may hold 1,200 cc of water (forty ounces), lasting you for a spherical or two earlier than you refill the guns and giving your squad the upper hand during the fight. To use the guns, pull the pump and squeeze the trigger to release a stream of water in your enemies. They’re simple to make use of, so long as you don’t forget to move the pump.

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wiw3 · 6 months

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Cataclysm of Victimhood

"I just need to decompress for a while" is a sentence I've been utilizing quite frequently, as of late. After nearly running out of gas on Interstate 75 today, I arrived home to find that three of my most awkward friends had finally cut their losses with me. One doesn't want to participate in the group without their pwecious widdle boyfwend, and the other doesn't want to participate if the other isn't participating. It's an expressly "all or none" attitude toward what is ultimately a complicated, nuanced relationship between a second family for those of us who have our needs neglected by our origin-families.

Hosting D&D as a hobby has become a mainstay in my 20's. At times, it feels like it's the only thing that I can rotate my week around steadily, and even then, sometimes things happen. My entire life has been about managing expectations and today reveals itself to be no exception to that rule. I trust my friends to show up on time, ready to play games with one another. I ask them to forgive me if I take it too seriously at times, because with the tunnel-vision I'm capable of having toward certain things, it can be helpful to have friends around to tell you that you're too drunk and need to sit down, when you're too incapable of seeing it, yourself, or... myself, in this case.

I need to get out of that habit, denying accountability by proxy of saying the royal You, instead of just... well, me.

One of them takes issues with the jokes I make, the things I choose to joke about, and would rather see my right to make them stripped from me than to learn to cope with the things they find unpleasant. I don't pander to my friends, I don't sugar-coat or powder-puff anything, but I'll gladly crack a joke or two just to help someone get through something. Traditional love doesn't suit me, giving or receiving.

I'd rather just make art that makes people happy. I'm far too susceptible to pressure and changing as to fit into a specific scenario. Doing so, I've forgotten who I am, which is the same magnetic polarity that has enraptured me, yet again. I let friends of a specific nature in, in an attempt to challenge my perspectives, then they try to change me too much, they keep pushing, and inevitably I snap, or they snap. It's the nature of things.

I'm personally in a perpetual cycle of self-improvement and then crashing right back down to the same (or worse) bad habits. It's my own fault, but I think we're living in one of the most self-righteous crises we've ever faced as a nation, which is the crisis of victimization.

Everyone's a victim, everyone. Doesn't matter what you've gone through, everyone I've met finds one thing or another to get them down, a woe-is-me pattern isn't particularly destitute on my own blog, either, I've come to find. Not to make it any more metatextual than it already is, but God knows I play the victim just as much, if not more than anyone else. The difference is that it's done here, and to get it out of my system. I don't think it's healthy to find victimization in every little thing, as these few I've met in recent years have.

It all stems from their "trauma", wah-wah, you're weak for not being able to move past things in your past, simple as. Things are rarely black and white, I'll admit, but there comes a point where you have to stop making your problems everyone else's problems with which to deal. I've had to grapple with people like that for my entire life, and it's getting *old*.

It's not my fault that things happened to you and that you can't handle jokes about it, especially when they aren't even directed at you. Grow up, get over yourself, stop making this shit my problem and killing the vibe because you're selfish and your feelings and comfort are more important than the enjoyment of the event. There's no such thing as perfect inclusivity. We all have to be a lot closer to being on the same page for that, which takes so much communication that it kills any attempt at humor or universal fun, unless you're finding the fun in controlling others' behavior, in which case I think that serves as more of an indictment on your issues over mine.

You show me a non-emotionally-stunted individual in North America today and I'll show you a million dollars.

I just need to decompress for a while.

#writing #ranting #angry #dentist #cheaper than I thought #that update might come next #maybe #tw #tw jokes #creative writing #sorry for the rant #blogging #post #blog post #blog #grow up #get over yourself #seriously #victimization

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