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doom-dreaming · 4 months

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High Flakes Combat

“Blue Lead,” Linda’s whisper cuts across TEAMCOM, crisp and several degrees colder than the icy landscape. “Hostiles approaching your position.”

Fred, tucked behind the trunk of a towering pine tree, exhales a slow, measured breath. Waiting. Listening. Without his motion tracker, only the crunch of footsteps in the snow—and Linda—could tell him when their opponents were closing in.

There. Fifteen meters out. He motions to John, positioned behind an adjacent tree. On my signal.

…ten meters…

Cover me. Go high.

…five meters…

John nods. Fred tightens his grip on his weapon.

Now.

As one, they pivot, breaching cover. Fred drops to a knee, attacking swiftly, before their adversary has a chance to retaliate.

The snowball hits Ash directly in the center of his chestplate. Active camouflage flickers briefly, then recalibrates, as the young Spartan crashes dramatically to his knees before sprawling backward, motionless.

Fred doesn’t let the theatrics distract him. The other two had to be nearby and the round wasn’t over until— A snowball whizzes past his head, followed by a sharp curse—out loud, close. He catches a shimmer of white on white as Olivia leaps to find cover and “reload,” but John is faster.

The snowball hits her thigh before she can complete her maneuver and she slides to a dejected halt in a snowbank. “Dammit! Mark!” she calls out. “You’re on your own!”

Fred doesn’t hear a verbal response. He knows he won’t, Mark’s too good to give away his position— Thwap. Fred’s vision goes fuzzy and white as Mark’s snowball connects with his visor, splattering on impact. Fred groans and flashes a red status light across his team’s HUDs. He’d be out until the next round.

“He’s on the move!” Linda barks over the comms.

Fred folds himself cross-legged into the snow and wipes his visor clean just in time to see Kelly bounding over a nearby ridge, clutching a snowball in each fist.

“I’ve got him!” She goes streaking across the snow toward a barely-visible figure—also sprinting.

Mark wouldn’t be able to outrun Kelly—a fact Fred knew the S-III was well aware of—but he was certainly trying his best.

Kelly nails Mark with both snowballs, one in the shoulder, the other in the back. He stumbles just enough that Kelly’s momentum sends her into him at full force. The clack of their colliding armor echoes like a shot as both Spartans go tumbling to the ground, sending up a minor flurry in their wake.

“Aaaaaaaand match!” Roland’s voice rings out over the simulation deck, followed by a buzzer. “Blue Team takes the win!”

“Again,” Olivia grumbles, pushing to her feet and dusting snow off her armor.

“It’s three against four,” Ash reminds her, still lying on his back a few feet from Fred.

Olivia crunches her way over and offers him a hand. “Can we make Kelly sit out the next round?”

“If you’re not having fun, leave,” John quips.

“Or maybe you should switch Kelly to our team and see how it feels,” Livi bites back, helping Ash haul himself to his feet.

“Fighting over me?” Kelly rejoins the group with Mark close behind. “I’m flattered.”

Fred chuckles. It was good to see Olivia trading barbs with John. The Gammas had warmed up to him quickly—and he to them—and it wasn’t hard to understand why. Fred was sure the S-IIIs had given him some new streaks of gray hair, but at the same time, they made him feel younger. He hoped they were having the same effect on John.

“So…” drawls a familiar voice, raised just loud enough to carry, “this is the reason my fireteams can't train today? A snowball fight.”

Every Spartan in the simulated snowscape whips toward the entrance. Commander Palmer stands at the far edge of the scene, arms crossed. She looks odd and out of place, a lone figure in a techsuit against the stark white surroundings, but no less intense than usual.

“Thought we’d try something different from the typical drills, ma’am,” Fred coughs. He’s not sure why he feels guilty; they’d requested the time and blocked out the schedule and followed protocol…even if they hadn’t said precisely what they’d be doing…

Before anyone else has a chance to speak, a snowball goes sailing over Fred’s shoulder, on a collision course for Palmer. She’s too far away to hit, but the aim is dead-accurate and it lands with a wet plap several yards directly in front of her.

Even at this distance, Fred sees her eyes narrow. The vague guilt solidifying in his gut crystallizes into ice. He knows who threw that and he’s already, reflexively, preparing for the necessary damage control—and for Linda, no less. Kelly he was used to, but Linda?

Palmer shifts her weight and fixes the seven of them with a hard stare that lasts long past the point of being uncomfortable. “Don’t go anywhere,” she eventually orders, leveling a finger in their direction. “I’ll be back in ten minutes.” Without leaving any opportunity for rebuttal, she turns on her heel and swiftly disappears from the deck.

Immediately, Linda’s status light starts blinking rapid-fire green across Blue Team’s HUDs. Kelly follows suit.

“Really?” Fred grumps over TEAMCOM.

“Can you blame her if it worked?” Kelly retorts.

“Yes! You’re making an assumption and setting a bad example.” He switches to his helmet’s speakers. “Gammas, don’t throw things at your commanding officers.”

“Unless you’re sleeping with them,” Kelly adds, with enough tact to keep the comment on Blue Team’s private channel.

Another green light from Linda.

Fred willfully ignores both of them.

“...we’re not in trouble, are we?” Ash removes his helmet and shakes out his hair. “To be honest…I don’t know what just happened.”

Kelly seats herself on a tree stump, legs akimbo, smugness oozing from every seam of her armor. “Palmer’s getting suited up to come play with us.”

Ash seems unconvinced but Mark shrugs. “She’ll balance the numbers. We might even start winning.”

Only Blue Team can see—and appreciate—the red light John flashes in silent response.

**********

As threatened, Palmer returns exactly ten minutes later, fully armored aside from the helmet tucked into the crook of her arm. “Okay, here’s the official story.” She strides up to the group. “We’re running an unorthodox but fully sanctioned training exercise all day.”

“I’ve cleared the schedule and put out an open invitation,” Roland chimes in. “As requested.”

Palmer nods her approval. “Figured I’d let you have your fun on the condition that the rest of us could get in on it too.” She raises an eyebrow. “Sound fair?”

“Fair enough,” Fred answers, echoing the array of green lights on his HUD. “Alright. Ground rules—we’re running blind for this, Commander. No motion trackers.”

She looks pleased. “I like a challenge.”

“If you get hit, you’re out for the round,” he continues. “Once you’re out, you can’t help anyone still standing. Round ends when a whole team goes down.” Fred nods toward the ceiling. “Roland’s keeping score.”

“Huh,” Palmer hums. “So you knew about this, too, Roland?”

“I…was informed the exercise would require a scorekeeper instead of a handler,” the AI answers, somehow managing to achieve the verbal equivalent of tip-toeing. “And I volunteered a mere fraction of my copious attention to the task.”

Palmer just rolls her eyes.

Ash clears his throat and steps forward. “If you wouldn’t mind, ma’am, we’d greatly appreciate it if you joined our team.”

“They’ve been wiping the floor with us,” Olivia adds, somewhat ruefully.

Palmer looks back and forth between Blue Team and the Gammas with a hint of a smirk. “Well.” She slips her helmet on. “Allow me to level the playing field.”

**********

And indeed, the tide began to turn. Quickly. It wasn’t that the Gammas couldn’t hold their own, but Palmer was a different flavor of ruthless and even numbers did make a difference.

Kelly, as Blue Team’s sole survivor, was in the midst of a valiant stand, but she was up against Palmer and Olivia and they were going in for the kill. Up to this point, Kelly had been relying on her speed to evade them, but Fred doubted that would be able to carry her any further.

Palmer and Livi split around the back of the snowbank Kelly had hidden behind, falling into synchronized step with each other, timing their paces perfectly. Palmer’s boots fall heavier and louder, covering Olivia’s near-silent glide around the other side.

The strategy is obvious, at least from Fred’s position of passive observation—Palmer would draw Kelly’s attention, Olivia would come up on her flank and take her out. And it would work, too…on anyone less observant than Kelly. Fred has a feeling she’ll see right through it. But one of them was going to hit her either way, so it didn’t really matter as far as the outcome was concerned.

Surprisingly, a third option presents itself. Fred realizes after a few seconds that he’s been holding his breath, expecting Kelly to explode out of the snow and make a run for it, but…she doesn’t.

Palmer reaches the other side of the snowdrift and slows, confusion evident in her body language. She paces around the area, making sure not to stay still for too long, obviously reluctant to let her guard down completely. Fred can see the hazy mirage of Olivia’s SPI suit still moving in with careful deliberation.

There was no way Kelly could have moved. She hadn’t had enough time. More importantly, she would’ve been spotted if she’d tried to flee, so why couldn’t—

Palmer disappears. One second, she’s standing on the other side of the snowbank, visible from the waist up, and the next second she’s gone. Fred can’t see much of anything, but there are sounds of a scuffle and the blur of camouflaged armor as Livi sweeps in to assist with whatever the hell had just happened.

Barely a breath later, Roland announces the end of the match. “And Gammas-Plus-Palmer emerge victorious! …or should I say Olivia, specifically, seeing as she is the last Spartan standing. You know, you really oughta come up with a better name for your team—”

There’s a burst of indignant exclamations and flustered cursing from Palmer. She reappears only to rip her helmet off and kick some snow back in the direction from which she’d escaped.

Olivia removes her own helmet; Fred is surprised to see her laughing. “She got you good!” There’s a giddiness in her voice that Fred’s never heard before, but she seems to remember who she's talking to a moment later. “...ma’am.”

Kelly pops up beyond the ridge. She remains helmeted but Fred knows there’s a shit-eating grin on her face just from her posture alone.

“What happened?” He shouts the question out loud.

“She buried herself in the fucking snow and pulled my legs out from under me,” Palmer growls as she trudges over.

“And then I hit Kelly point-blank in the face!”

Olivia’s gleeful comment is backed by Kelly’s laughter over TEAMCOM. “Worth it.”

“Hey!” A different voice cuts into the conversation, once again pulling everyone’s attention toward the entrance. “Heard there was some kinda free-for-all goin’ on in here?” Gabriel Thorne stands flanked by the rest of Fireteam Majestic, all in full Mjolnir. “Got room for another team?”

Palmer waves them in. “Come on up, Majestic. We’ll get you briefed on the rules.” She sighs and fits her helmet back on. “Hope you’re ready to get your asses kicked.”

**********

An hour later, after Majestic had carved out a few victories of their own, Crimson shows up. Rules are recounted, home bases are realigned, play resumes. Within another two hours, there are four more Spartan fireteams on the field. Alliances are formed, both openly and secretly. Several hours are devoted to building snow forts. Play evolves. Forts are defended and captured, sabotaged and reinforced.

And then Lasky arrives.

“Captain on deck!” Roland bellows.

The silence that blankets the simulation deck is instantaneous and absolute. Nobody moves. If the snowballs already in flight could have frozen in midair, they probably would’ve. Instead, they land in a chorus of muffled thwumps.

Lasky stands there for a few seconds, small and unimposing by the distant doors, sporting his trademark expression of beleaguered amusement—presumably at being called out. “Don’t stop on my account,” he eventually says. “I just wanted to watch. …unless there’s a team looking for a liability,” he jokes with a self-deprecating chuckle.

Everyone on the field exchanges glances and shrugs. A sea of status lights blink across Fred’s HUD—most amber, some green. Finally, someone from Crimson waves Lasky over. “We’ll take you, Captain!”

He seems genuinely surprised by the invitation, but begins the trek across the snow. “Try not to kill me, alright?”

That draws laughs from most of the Spartans, but it’s John who actually banters back. “No promises, sir.”

#halo #my writing #halo fanfic #s2blueteam #sarah palmer #fred 104 #ash g099 #olivia g291 #kelly 087 #just tagging characters with the most screen time bc Everybody is here #also don't ask me when this takes place #bending the timeline to my will #everyone's here at the same time and that's what matters #mainly i just wanted to write something cute and let them have some playtime #this was somewhat prompted by the exchange in the fall of reach that haunts me #where kelly mentions snowballs #and john gets salty because she puts rocks in them #IMPLYING THEY HAD A SNOWBALL FIGHT AT SOME POINT #can you imagine mendez like 'you know what these little war machines need? Snow Time'#anyway happy holidays #also yeah. yes. the title is a shitty pun #that's the kind of person i am #and yes this takes place somewhere in the PSEU (palmer sandwich extended universe)

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redysetdare · 6 months

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every time i see a post that is like "ughh why cant we have aspec characters who aren't aroace for once" I have to do a double take like "is the aroace rep in the room with us right now?" because genuinely....where is all this aroace rep y'all are complaining about? Why cant i find it yet it's apparently the only aspec rep we get?? You admit that TV never says the word aromantic so where is the aroace rep. So far I've pretty much only seen canonically asexual characters and not much else buddy.

#text #half the time i think these ppl see other aspec ppl saying that x character feels aroace and then they take it as canon rep #instead of an interpretation of the character which likely was never meant to be written as aspec at all #because majority of people don't even know what that is #this isn't me saying that we shouldn't have aroallo or alloace rep btw #this is me complaining about people throwing aroace ppl under the bus because apparently we are 'hogging' all the representation in media #and it just reads as people being aphobic towards aroace people specifically and it drives me insane #you can ask for more aroallo and alloace characters without complaining and shitting on aroace characters????#like bro we are all on the same fucking team. we are all trying to get seen and understood. we all want to see ourselves in media #stop fighting like one of us is somehow way more privileged than the other because 'you have x rep'#we all have crumbs my guy. just because someone else is getting crumbs doesn't mean that its your crumbs being taken.#idk i see so many posts like this and it makes me feel so unwelcome in the aro and ace communities #im tired of aroace people being used as a scapegoat that you can target to pretend like you're punching up #when in reality you're just committing friendly fire against people who are on your team #i miss when the aro and ace communities used to like... work together as a big aspec community #now ppl r way too focused on separating them and acting like they have nothing in common and don't have the same goals #and both communities now tend to put a lot of blame onto aroace people because of stereotypes we never had control over in the first place #it's exhausting #like the aphobia is coming from inside the house #i didn't go through the ace discourse on tumblr to deal with this shit.

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savage-rhi · 2 months

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Magenta.

#i lost my job #even though they're not saying its because of my disability it is because of it #I've been applying to places and some of the safety nets i had fell through #im scared right now and feel very betrayed #i got enough to get me through the month but beyond that idk what to do #i have resources im looking into and as most know that doesn't put a dent into finances #i need help #i feel bad for asking and i know i preach people shouldnt feel ashamed #but i do get where folks are coming from with that #the shame is powerful especially when you pride yourself as someone that takes care of themselves #im open to ideas opinions whatever folks want to say #i haven't felt this triggered ptsd wise in a long time past homeless experience and work abuse has been creeping in #I'm trying to get to the good but its really hard seeing it right now after getting screwed for the millionth time #for something i can't control with my body #i guess on a good note that partnership meeting went well #it seems like an excellent opportunity but its also an investment and i don't have the means to put into that right now

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front-facing-pokemon · 10 months

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#altaria #here it is… the bird that turns into a dragon-type because reasons…#i still don't think just from looking at this thing that they should be a dragon-type. i feel like it still seems out-of-place given their #design but HONESTLY i like it. i think it's a cool like. subversion. type thing. i would not look at swablu and be like Yeah that evolves #into a dragon-type. and apparently a really good one at that? i believe i've heard good things about altaria #ugh. good things. got a selection of GOOD THINGS on sale‚ stranger… my brain does that sometimes #when i hear or say innocuous phrases it's like HEY that's the same thing this OTHER guy said in this QUOTE you've heard before #dunno WHY but. it happens. and it just happened there. but altaria i dunno it's a dragon-type and that's awesome. i don't remember what i #said i was gonna talk about on the swablu post yesterday wrt altaria and i am too lazy to look back at those tags to remember #hi it's me morning of this posting at like 7 AM. i remembered bc i just looked. i was gonna ask if they were good competitively #and. i'm pretty sure they are. ALRIGHT LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT SMOGON #ah okay not busted but generally good i guess. latest information states RU in gen 9 but UU in a lot of other gens. NU and PU in there too #bounced around a lot i guess. but here's my question. why? do i care #it's cute. and i don't care if they're strong or not… because they're cute…

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bonefall · 9 months

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Did you man beam Drizzle? If so, why not just pair up Rustle with Cranberry instead? I get for the amazing ship name but I'm curious about the choice /gen

I totally forgot Drizzle's original gender, but also, I really don't want to overthink it. I'm so tired of overthinking it. I wanted CranberryDrizzle funny ship name and it was getting exhausting to plan out where every pairing in several hundred cats would be getting their kits from

Rustle is going to die at some point after having two QR kittens, and Cranberrydrizzle is going to have 2 important litters (Sunstrike and Emberfoot in the first, Fernstripe in the second). I have done an exhausting amount of work (weeks of planning and hours of work at a time, scouring the wiki and facebook screenshots, redrawing tangles, reading through suggestions, writing out full posts of changes and creating new groups with their own histories) untangling broken fragments of family trees and like... I'm tired. No more shuffling. I deserve Funny Ship Name. is this too much to ask

Boy Drizzle is just the easiest answer. I'd like for Drizzle to just be transfem but I was also told to avoid cats being trans just to have kits, which is ALSO frustrating me at this point, I don't like this weight of "perfect representation" that's being put on me when I'M not even perfect representation as a living human queer.

Do I let Drizzle be transfem and "break a rule," or change them to a boy and "lose" a lesbian pairing? It feels gross to me to have fallen into a mindset where I'm treating queer relationships like quotas or rigid rulesets

I feel like if I 'get something wrong' (like forget the gender of a Missing Kit or a side character, or handwave 'where did these kits come from' with 'trans/queen's rights' without considering a real secret surrogate) I'm going to get smacked upside the head and be forced to hyperfocus on one small part of a massive project when I already have a million other things to work on.

So unfortunately the most honest answer I can probably give is that im tired. I'm really tired. Overthinking minor details before making every single tumblr post is draining me. I forgot the missing kit's original author-assigned gender and didn't scroll to the bottom of Onestar's wiki page to check it before posting. I like the ship name. Cranberrysplash somehow gets pregnant twice, but I was told to avoid trans bioparents, yet doing that is making things even harder after I had to do weeks of work to make a good tree in the first place

I'll figure out Drizzlefall's gender when they become relevant in some context

#i dont want cranberryrustle i want cranberrydrizzle #for my own sanity I am probably going to start straightup deleting asks and replies about accidental misgenderings of missing kits #i cannot keep the gender and names of 600+ characters straight 100% of the time #Especially when they were only named in authorial statements #i deserve funny ship name. i just. i deserve funny ship name #do i not bleed enough to deserve funny ship name #i don't think I can work with this ''minimize trans bioparents'' rule. It's done nothing but cause me frustration and make burnout set in #redtail is a man and he gave birth. get over it. im sick of feeling guilty over my own hobby project #for characters like sedge where it's a plot point it will stay but I CANT keep working with it in mind #Hazeltail is unkilled. She is trans. She is taking Mousewhisker's place in ThunderClan so he can go to riverclan #If canon gives mouse kittens then they will be hazeltail's. trans people fuck and have kids. deal with it #and you know what? in a world with countries that will fucking sterilize you if you want to legally transition #maybe it *should* be more normalized.#tw transphobia #btw anon it's clear you're being genuine so im not mad at you #vent a long time coming I think #bone babble

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ante--meridiem · 2 months

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#former creepy landlord found another way to try to contact me #blocked him there too but it does freak me out a tiny bit that he's still trying #he would *absolutely* have shown up at my new place if I'd given him any hint of the address when he insisted #I'm. reasonably sure he'll run out of avenues to try before he actually finds me #i don't think there's anyone he can ask for my new address who'd know it #I guess he might try showing up at my university building again but it's a big building with lots of people so I should be able to dodge him #or at least make it so he'd have to make a scene to talk to me #....I also left my bike at the old place bc I moved in winter & it was too icy to take it #& have been avoiding going back for it due to risk of running into him #had just started to consider just going for it at a time he's usually at work but this freaked me out enough to reconsider that #The Landlord Situation #if you are annoyed that that is still a tag I have use for:#trust me I'm even more so

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blinkpen · 1 year

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Have you thought about giving Grimstone her own girlfriend. I feel bad for her lol

For the most part, Grimstone generally prefers flings, and oh, Whatever you do, don't tell her that,

#mog art #ask x #grimstone #monster girl #cyclops #demon #grim is only really cringefail when demersa is in the same room #grim in an urgent tone: yes i was dumped by demersa but consider how much game you need to GET demersa to begin with #grim: the wandering oasis in my death maze is filled with ladies willing to feed me grapes and i don't even have to pay them to be there #grim: they just show up #girls will say I Know A Place and take you to the Lesbian Labyrinth

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moregraceful · 8 days

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someone cold emailed me to ask if i was going to a writer's conference in los angeles and was putting together a panel or caucus for queer poets or if i knew anyone who was...buddy you are severely overestimating how much i network with other poets (i don't) and how often i attend writer's conferences (never) 😭

#''do you know of any other poets going'' no?? bc i hate networking with other poets????#LIKE ARE THEY LESS ANNOYING THAN WHEN I WAS 23? IDK? MAYBE?#i feel like most things these days are less annoying than when i was 23 #or maybe i'm just better equipped to deal with annoying things than when i was 23 #yesterday i was talking to someone about my ethos wrt a class i ran last fall and he stopped me in the middle and was like #you're amazing. that class was a hot mess and you still had fun and found the good in it #like no i'm not amazing. i'm just in my thirties and it takes a lot more than other people's mental health crises to throw me off my game #he was pretty ticked off in the fall when i told him the like depth of crisis multiple students were in bc he thought i should have told hi #i was like idk it did not occur to me to ask for help. he was like you're doing daily check ins to make sure your students are eating??#idk!! it didn't bother ME my job was just to make sure they were still alive! i mean my job was actually to teach liberation theology but #like i was not good at that. but i DO know how to be annoying until people feel less like killing themselves and more like killing me #anyway all that to say i can't wait to see how much less bothered i am in my 40s #i hope i have reached such a state of zen by age 50 that my spirit is unruffled by anything and anyone #i hope i float through life in a fine mist of okayness #someone says ''oh my god kasper my life is falling to pieces'' and i say ok 👍 we can get through this together👍#what was this post about??? oh right networking #good networking: librarians bc you just go ''is your manager batshit insane'' and they go THIS PLACE MAKES ME SUICIDAL #and then you're friends for life #bad networking: poets (when i was 23) because all they do is name drop (when i was 23) and expect you to have opinions (i don't)#this post is wildly overconfident in my zen considering i'm so bored of being unemployed that i keep looking at teamworkonline #bhawks are hiring for a social media manager btw. imagine having that kind of access to mr 🥺. i'd literally only do paid advertising #to gay men #i'm not applying bc social media management would actually break my sobriety i am pretty sure #but imagine having connor bedard at your disposal and being like ok kid. we r gonna catfish some gays into caring about the bhawks #basically what i do with the cuda blog lol #ok ok ok i'm done. posting. goodbye. livejournal mode de-activate #fresno oilers.txt

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ask-the-sexyman-squad · 2 months

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you feel better now sam?

"..."

She...doesn't feel better, really. She stopped the heavy crying, sure, but she hasn't fully calmed down. It might take her some time...no one can blame her: personal jabs at her regarding her familial issues just...triggered something horrible in her, and she still feels very hurt. Now she's just tired...she needs the rest.

"...she's been crying for two hours, Alastor: we can't even calm her down."

"..."

"Alastor? Hon?"

"...I..."

...the smile on his face dropped the moment Sam closed her eyes, and he wiped her tears.

He had to stay strong for his little girl...his little girl. He never would've thought he would use those three words when speaking about her. Yet he simply did so, and it made him all the more soft. She was sweet, quiet, and had bursts of energy: he admired that. She was a good dancer, a singer, and loved anything about the Roaring Twenties: but she clung to him and trusted him, and that's what drew him to her.

This was his adoptive daughter now...his and DT's. He had to show her love, and not break promises. She didn't have to worry about him and DT drinking...which was good.

He was swarmed in his thoughts, he was tuning them out unintentionally. He was focused on getting Sam to calm down, but the more she cried, the more his heart shattered.

"...I failed her."

The tears said it all: literal. Tears. He cared for her more than he let on, and it was making him sentimental...in the best ways, however.

"You didn't fail her, hon."

"I did. I should've been there when that wretched anon shattered her with their commentary. I should've been there to comfort her sooner...but I wasn't."

"That doesn't mean you failed her. You found out when you could, and what matters is that she's safe in your arms. That she calms down."

"...but what if she doesn't...?"

"...you're going to hate this idea."

"How so...?"

"If she doesn't calm down in the next twenty minutes, we...we take her to Black Hat."

"...Black Hat."

There's fear and nervousness in his voice now. They tried to ease their husband by gently placing their hand on his leg.

"If she doesn't calm down. If she does, then disregard. I mean...everyone has already tried getting her to calm down, or talk...Mordecai hugged her for Christ's sake, and that didn't work! Ghirahim tried calming her by taking her hair down, but also nothing! Another person she confides in is Black Hat. He'll surely be able to calm her."

"...if you say so, my love."

"We'll get her through this...trust me."

#Sardonic Sexymen - Sam DT and Alastor #original post #art #fanart #original art #image reply #text reply #alastor #double trouble #samantha #implied radiotrouble #((sam REALLY doesn't feel good after that one anon...#((and honestly I don't feel good after that either #((because sam here is a self projection of myself so the anon that sent the parental issues ask was not only intentionally jabbing at her #((but they also jabbed at me #((and it took me a while to think it over and draw it #((because I didn't want to be rude and take the fun out of things!#((though I am saying: sam and i are THE same person. please be kinder when submitting stuff #((I don't talk about it but I REALLY didn't appreciate it. it hurt and it sucked #((I love my parents and they love me don't get me wrong #((but they just....broke some personal promises. and idk if I can forgive them for that yet #((this is a coping mechanism for me without thinking about (TW) killing myself #((drawing myself with these fictional characters puts me in a happy place and I'll keep it that way #((if you think me thinking of alastor as my fictional father figure is cringe then you can leave #((either way thank you for checking in on sam #((always appreciated <3

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paellegere · 2 months

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hey girlie it’s me, sam winchesters gay lover, your mootie 🥰🥰🥰 i just wanted to let you know, that your tags on the post about that wincest video are based and i agree with every word, hashtag slay couldn’t agree more i loved reading your essay in those tags heart ❤️

omg thank you!!! i'm basically only capable of talking in essays whether people want me to or not, unfortunately

i just have a lot of feelings on this topic and the whole "canon or not canon" argument is weird to me; the themes are pretty darn clear in supernatural (it is NOT known for its subtlety) so idk man. they don't have to kiss to be canon. and they don't have to have a romantic relationship to be canon either. how many times do they get into relationships with other people only for it to be treated as cheating/betrayal/abandonment, only for them have to give up that relationship in order to reaffirm their devotion to their brother

that's just what the text says. i'm not under any kind of delusion that they have some secret sexual or romantic relationship, but that doesn't change that sam and dean are each other's most important person regardless of that. which is really awesome imo, that romance isn't treated as more important than whatever horrible thing they have with each other, and that they don't have to consummate their relationship with romance/sex in order for it to be the most important one they have

(and of course there's romantic/sexual subtext, like parallels and metaphors and misunderstandings and jokes, but to me that just provides a solid foundation for presenting this relationship between them as the most important even though it's not romantic or sexual—because this language of romance is the only one we know, really, when it comes to writing important relationships between characters. it's the only one we know in our own personal lives, to a large extent. so you use the romance/sexuality to symbolize the actual bond they have. which is so much worse lmao)

anyway i think spn is fairly unique in this way because of how no other relationships can really ever stand parallel to the one they share; even in other shows that center male friendship, romance is allowed to coexist with brotherhood. for sam and dean, it's not, and that becomes a point of tension and conflict and resolution many, many times over the course of the show. so like yeah!!! just because it's not romantic or sexual doesn't mean it's not canon, in the sense that their relationship is the point of the show, and it is the most important relationship they have. they chose each other above all else, every single time. yknow, it's "the epic love story of sam and dean" and all that

#ask #sorry. i did not intend to write another essay about this #but as i said i am only capable of talking in essays. my apologies #to be honest the only reason i have so much to say about this is because i have seen some truly baffling takes about what sam and dean are #and every time i see one i have to sit here and think about it. like how did you arrive at that conclusion. what are you watching #mostly in terms of like. people saying sam and dean are not weird and codependent and enmeshed with each other #that's just blatantly not true because again. this show is about sam and dean and their relationship. textually subtextually metatextually #the concept of even having to defend their relationship as canon is as confusing to me as having to defend umm rubysam is canon #or something #like it happened. they were together in canon. we saw them have sex. you can't say rubysam isn't canon because it's right there #same thing with sam and dean. the difference is the nature of their relationship and the fact that i guess people don't want to like #think of it as canon when it's not romantic????#it's such a no-brainer kind of thing. like the fact that i'm sitting here trying to explain myself is embarrassing me bc it's like #no shit sherlock #but again the only reason i am thinking about this so much is because i keep seeing people trying to deny or downplay their relationship #in the first place #which is BIZARRE to me #like idk i don't see people trying to deny that ummmm fuck. killua and gon hxh aren't canon friends #that they don't even like each other #wow i'm seriously rambling. apparently i have more to say about this topic than i originally conceived #idk man i get people are uncomfortable with incest but the point is that it's like. not. their canon-ness is not related to incest #they're just insane about each other and they are each other's most important person. they are more important than romantic pursuits #the uniqueness is that it trumps all other relationships and cannot coexist with any others. that's what's so canon about it #it's not just friendship. it's not just brothers. it's not just husbands. it's everything and nothing and so much more all at once #shrugs. sorry for rambling AGAIN #i hope i'm making sense here #supernatural #wincest #spn posting

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cautiousgoose · 2 months

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I'm trying so hard and it feels like it's never enough.

I should have just spent the day in bed, at least I'd hurt less.

I'm so tired. I literally sobbed on the phone with my mom today.

I haven't been unmedicated since I was a teenager who thought I knew better.

My body hurts so bad. And I keep trying to fight with doctors. And I think I'm getting somewhere and then I get sidelined again.

So I try to do the little victories instead while I wait.

And it's just not enough. I'm trying my best. I'm so tired. I'm in so much pain. It takes me so long to do things.

And then I'm alone again.

#cautious commentary #chronic illness #chronic pain #I'm not in a good place mentally because I'm not in a good place physically #if you've never had an hour grocery trip be the only thing you can do in a day and then be in agony don't respond #I only have so much energy to ask for help from the people who can give it to me #and when they refuse I have to take a break before I can try again #fuck doctors man fuck them and their policies

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whatudottu · 10 months

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Concept: Ben 10 Alien Force AU where everything is the same except Kevin is just insanely passive-aggressive towards Ben for the entire duration of the series

“No worries Tennyson, I buried the hatchet ages ago! That bad blood between us? Water under the bridge! I mean, it’s not like you got me stranded in a prison dimension for five years and never bothered to try and rescue me or even check up on me or anything like that! Of course I’ll help you save your grandpa! After all, what kind of hero just leaves someone for dead in the hands of vicious aliens that proceed to inflict them with severe psychological damage that will take decades to fully heal?”

I feel as though that would be a whole lot more realistic of a thing to happen, especially as the Tennysons realistically react to Kevin's passive-aggression with their own Tennyson brand passive-aggressiveness, though it might not be the most enjoyable trio to watch, which would be basically the complete opposite of the previous trio of Ben, Gwen, and Grandpa Max-

Ben and Kevin would have more personal beef (something about stealing a way too high security unreleased but already boxed game vs making two trains crash into each other for free money), but Gwen never particularly liked Kevin in the first place way back when, so even if Ben and Kevin settle their differences with admitting what they had actually done wrong (probably fighting over the more petty shit or arguing about the worse shit they did), Gwen doesn't have much basis to forgive Kevin because ultimately she did not get involved. Which I mean I don't think would be that great to watch nor that great to create a team around, especially in the earlier more mystery focused side of AF-

And this is the obligatory mention of @kariachi for introducing the idea of the Ben, Gwen, and Argit trio- you can have passive-aggressive Kevin (and the Tennyson's appropriate responses to him) all you like if Kevin takes Argit's role and Argit fills in that missing main trio slot in his stead. Depending on where and how he's introduced you could totally have a fake-out trio of the Tennysons and Magister Labrid, you know, with the assumption that someone's filling out Max's 'experienced plumber' slot. Not sure how convincing that might be but oops, I did a little ramble lmao-

#ask #anonymous #kevin levin #ben tennyson #gwen tennyson #ben 10 #don't mind me just thinking about argit- not a whole lot but it's something #i do realise that i kinda maybe vaguely forget to think about any form of team ben lmao #since a lot of my first thoughts about ben 10 are either my petrosapien ocs (they grow in number)#or the andromeda 5 of whom i like to pair with xenobiology and other worldbuilding #so i guess i'm sorry for going off topic but lmao if you've sent in an ask to ME i bet you already know that i ramble #gwen's stubborn and would probably either never come around to kevin on her team or take too much time to do so #and ben might be ultimately more forgiving as a teen than as a 10y/o but kevin's kevin #there might be a little sympathy there for the general 'sorry you got amalgamed that one time'#but like kevin dragged his 'not actually known' name through the dirt when it was just 1 to 1 transformations #let alone actually working with/for vilgax that one time #not that kevin doesn't have his own beefs of course- the null void is a horrible place to send folks as punishment #especially a distressed 11y/o who's not very human at the moment if he ever was (depends what floats your boat)#ultimately... though realistic- probably not the best working environment for a highbreed investigation

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