Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture

and save it from the funny tricks of time

Remus reminiscing- circa October ‘82

today, my coworkers’ refusal to see me as a man put one of our patients in a position where they felt unsafe for the third time. i’ve been at this job for less than two months total. i don’t even care about getting misgendered anymore, i just want the people we’re supposed to be taking care of to feel comfortable around me.

i work at a hospital where we have to supervise our patients in a lot of vulnerable situations. there are safeguarding rules in place for certain things that male employees aren’t allowed to be present for when it comes to female patients. and yet, the people training me and telling me what to do have repeatedly put me in situations where i’ve been forced to do things that the female patients aren’t comfortable with me doing. and because they have repeatedly failed to teach me the rules for doing my job as a man, i have no way of knowing when i’m crossing one of those lines unless one of the patients tells me.

i’ve had to watch a victim of SA stare at me in abject terror as my coworkers asked her to strip naked with me still in the room. it took several minutes for her to even be able to speak enough to ask if i could leave the room. i found out after that she broke down crying the moment i walked out. my biggest regret is that i didn’t realize what was happening fast enough to leave before she ever had to say something, because she shouldn’t have had to say it. i never should’ve been allowed in the room in the first place, because that’s not something male employees are supposed to be present for. but i didn’t know that yet, because i was training and i thought surely, they wouldn’t train me to do something that directly violated their own safeguarding rules. that moment was the first time, and it’s haunted me ever since, but it wasn’t the last time. not only did it happen for the third time today — it almost happened for the fourth, and would have if someone hadn’t spoken up to say they should pick someone else. i care for these people so deeply, it’s why i took this job, and i’m so tired of hearing the fear in their voices when they have to ask me not to do something i never should’ve been told to do.

i’m very used to the personal discomfort of being misgendered. i willingly deal with it a lot at work as well as in other situations, not because i’m in the closet (at this point in my medical transition that would be impossible), but because it’s such a frequent occurrence with my coworkers that we would never get anything done if i took the time to correct them every time. but to see it get to the point of causing such visceral discomfort in other people? people i’m supposed to be taking care of and keeping safe? that’s something else entirely, and i’m fucking exhausted.

and after all of that, some of them still look at me like i have two heads when they tell me what to do and i say “i can’t do that, only female employees can” because i’m learning now. clearly i’m already seen as a man by our patients, but my coworkers would still rather put them in an unsafe situation than just train me as a man.

something’s wrong?

Link needs years of therapy after upgrading his gear to lvl 4...

its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously

There’s something about duality of fandoms, on one hand there’s so many cool metas and gorgeous arts and you meet your friends… and at the same time so many shitty opinions and the fandom literally giving you creeps at certain points - to the point that you’re starting hating some ideas and they’re ruining your mood and you realise you need to step away because soon you won’t even be able to look at that tv show anymore.

People jumping ship cause of the new masks is very ahhhh. Telling. Tbh.

I don’t usually make posts like this, but I’ve been seeing a lot of anti-intellectual junk lately, and I really think we need to put the word “pretentious” up on a shelf until people learn what it actually means.

It doesn’t describe someone who likes artsy-fartsy deep meaning media. People who are pretentious are fake. They’re posers trying to be sophisticated and unique, not like other girls. They pretend to only like stuff they think will make them sound cool when they talk about it. They want to act like they know something you don’t, and they want attention for it.

By definition, if you genuinely enjoy something, you can’t be pretentious. If it resonates with you, and you analyze it, and you don’t care what people think, that’s the polar opposite, actually. If you love obscure experimental prog music, if you watch underground high concept indie films through English teacher eyes, if you spend hours in a modern art museum reading each piece as a vessel for storytelling, if your backpack’s full of poetry books that inspire you, if you play underrated games that were someone’s passion project, if you have an interest in studying the classics or the masters, you are not pretentious.

Of course, some people just don’t like some stuff, and that’s fine, but that’s not what this is about. Don’t let anti-intellectuals shame you for enjoying things just because your interests are inaccessible to them, because they refuse to be brave and put effort into critical thinking. You’re not stuck up for refusing to overlook the craft of artists.

Just in case nobody's told you yet:

It's okay if you don't enjoy going to the gym. Even if you go regularly, it's okay if you still hate every single second of it.

todays hot take is that i absolutely despise fanart/merch where characters are depicted as babies. it fills me with blinding rage. this is not a political statement of any kind this is just me being a hater

I’m being so ffr rn, if the show runners definitively show that Buddie is not going to happen?

I’m probably not going to be watching anymore.

I mean it when I say that they’re literally the sole reason I watched this show in the first place. I saw a billion TikTok edits of them & was like “Idek these characters I need to watch this show and see what’s going on over there.”

And like, it’s a fun show, I’m not saying it isn’t, but first responder shows are a dime a dozen. There are other shows that have queer characters and found family and wild adventures. Granted, they don’t have Buck & his bi arc, but I’d still read fanfics to get my Evan Buckley fix lol.

I don’t need them right now, I’m so down for the slow burn, will-they-won’t-they & the pining & the yearning & the build up and the GOOD foundation. I want to see Eddie figuring himself out and dealing with his repression and figuring out he’s queer (& Demi, pls God. I hope if I just say it enough, I can will it into existence somehow) before anything happens with the two of them, but if they take definitive steps to have one of them like, marry someone else or something, I think I’m gonna head out. Find me on ao3 for the rest of my days lol.

this isnt rlly a serious post more so than a thought I need to verbalize but like. there’s an INSANE difference between the fandom being like “hey what if jack was actually his age and got to be a little normal” vs y’all treating a grown ass man like he has to cover his ears when someone swears or sleep with a nightlight on because he’s afraid of the dark, and throwing the P word around to anyone who thinks he’s attractive. one of these things is not like the other.

Prayers appreciated I guess. Mental health is still eh and spiritual health isn’t any better.

I love you when we haven’t talked in weeks and months I love you when I have 12 unread messages I love you when im not in the mood to talk. We’re still friends even when we spend time apart

Why are you so up in arms about some people not being comfortable with a (rather edgy and potentially offensive) joke? The posts I've seen are just talking about how the casual homophobia whenever Tubbo is around makes them not want to watch any streams that Tubbo is showing up on.

I understand that you don't find these jokes offensive or harmful, at least in comparison to some of the other rp that has been done on the server (and I am genuinely very glad for it!! I hope they never become so), but different people have had different experiences, and to some people homophobia will be genuinely more upsetting than themes of self harm, to name an example you used.

It feels very shitty to see you and some other tubblings vehemently defend these jokes, as it can be extremely jarring to go from enjoying happy gay roleplay to homophobic jokes (yes, even from an openly gay man, the mouthpiece doesn't make the content less jarring).

So I guess I'm still wondering, why? I get being defensive of your streamer, but I guess I'm struggling to reconcile the "queer-smp" with people invalidating others' experiences with, and reactions to, homophobia

Okay well the main thing is that it’s really not that deep. Don’t like the jokes don’t watch, log off, touch grass ect.

People can be upset about whatever they want, but to say that the admin team, his fellow streamers and his community need to “talk to him” about it is insanity. The jokes themselves aren’t even something that isn’t already said in queer spaces irl (again go outside) and the fact that people are so up in arms about their picture perfect straight men playing make believe they’re in a gay relationship and having one actually gay man say “I hate happy couples” is insane.

Really, it’s shows how little the space cares for real queer people and relationships that don’t adhere to their internet filled fantasies of gay people.

At the end of the day, it’s a gay man joking about his own experiences and to get upset about it is fine. But don’t write emails telling him he’s inciting hate crimes, don’t tell the admin team to “talk to him” (ableism and infantilism much), and don’t try to get him cancelled for making jokes that YOU yourself don’t like.

If you don’t like a gay man making mildly homophobic jokes (something he has experienced!!!) but are okay with two straight men playing a gay couple and getting paid for it only to log off and not deal with any irl consequences then you’ve lost the plot I’m sorry.

my reaction to ppl hating on some human designs for the main 3 bc they aren’t conventionally attractive 🖕🖕