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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 8 months

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Psycho Analysis: The Saint of Killers

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

I have a confession to make: I enjoy Garth Ennis’ Preacher. Sure, a lot of it has aged like milk on a hot summer day, especially with how it portrays every single queer person in its pages as a freak or degenerate sicko, or how ridiculously edgy and tasteless it gets at points, but I think it has some really good messages in it, some decent dark humor, and even some cool and enjoyable characters here and there. And among the crazy cast of characters is the antagonistic cowboy killing machine known as The Saint of Killers.

A former Confederate soldier who reveled in killing, he one day met a beautiful woman and started a family, making him realize there was more to life than killing. But when they fell ill, he failed to save them due to the machinations of outlaws; after this he went on a brutal killing spree, even taking innocent lives. The last innocent life he took wasted his last bullet, and he was killed and sent to Hell which he froze over with his own hatred, He was made the new Angel of Death to get rid of him, he went on to kill some more, but not after shooting Satan’s brains out. Heaven eventually decided he was too hardcore, and put him to sleep until they need him for an assassination mission which leads to him tanking nukes, killing everyone in his way, and even killing God.

...Jesus fucking Christ, when I write it all out it sounds even edgier and more ridiculous than I thought. But is there any value in the grizzled Clint Eastwood wannabe? I mean, Empire ranked him #43 in their list of the 50 Greatest Comic Characters of All Time, What Culture put him at #57 on their list of the 100 Greatest Comic Book Villains of All Time, and IGN ranked him at #74 on a similar list. Are these publications crazy, or is he really that good at being bad?

Motivation/Goals: Killing is his goal. It is quite literally in the name. Specifically, he’s woken up by the angels to hunt down and kill our protagonist Jesse Custer for having the power of the Word of God.

Final Fate: After everything is said and done, the man just sits down in a nice, comfy chair and goes to sleep. Sound anticlimactic? Well of course it does, I’m oversimplifying it. Read the next section for more elaboration.

Best Moments: By design, this dude has the most badass scenes in the entire comic. There’s tanking a nuke and of course his entire backstory is a pretty great, grim Western that features his God-ordained fall from grace and his sheer hatred freezing over Hell before he shoots Satan in the face, but I think his best moment is at the end of the comic which has the most badass, over-the-top edgy thing you could possibly do followed by a very bittersweet, poignant, and peaceful moment:

Here we have the former, with the Saint straight up killing God. Not that God didn’t deserve it in the world of Preacher (but that’s a Psycho Analysis for another time), but you can’t really deny what an edgelord move having your grimdark brutal vigilante Mary Sue cowboy killing God is. But that moment is then followed by this one:

No words. No dialogue. His mission is finally complete. He can’t have any redemption because even he knows he can’t really get that, and damnation is pretty much out of the question too. As he put it, he just wants to rest, and he does in a world now free from the cruel manipulations of a selfish and uncaring God. In a way, this scene completely sums up Preacher: Edgelord violence and religious mockery mixed together with some deep character moments and actual heart and meaning.

Best Quote: This man spouts off badass one-liners like it’s his other job (besides, y’know, killing), but I think the one that takes the cake is from one of the above mentioned scenes. What does this man say after tanking a fucking nuke? Well...

Final Thoughts & Score: The Saint of Killers is basically the avatar of Garth Ennis’ work, for better or for worse.

On the one hand, he is perhaps one of the most ridiculously edgy characters ever created. He’s an unstoppable juggernaut of a cowboy with a grim and gritty past who has guns who can kill everything; he reads like the sort of thing a child would come up with while playing. It’s hard to argue that the Saint isn’t in many ways a Mary Sue of the highest order. But I think that overall edginess is, in the context of Preacher, very charming.

The Saint is edgy and over-the-top, but it’s never in a particularly annoying way, and he’s used just sparingly enough that you actually find it cool when he does his ridiculously badass feats such as killing his way through Heaven and Hell. If he was the protagonist of the story and we followed him all the time, he’d be boring, but the only time he’s really the main focus over Jesse is when we get his backstory which features him having the absolute worst fucking time imaginable. It also helps that, by token of being an invincible villain who can’t really be killed, he has to be delayed from his goal with lateral thinking. Jesse uses the power of the Word at first to catch him by surprise, but subsequent encounters don’t allow that, so escaping him becomes more of a challenge. It’s kind of like a comic book equivalent of Pyramid Head or something, where you need to just get the fuck outta there or use your wits to avoid him.

All of this means one thing: For once, Ennis’ edgy obnoxiousness managed to stumble into something good, good enough to get an 8.5/10. I mean, let’s be real, it’s hard to fuck up a grizzled badass cowboy killer, and if his time with Frank Castle taught us anything it’s that Ennis is very good at handling murderous vigilantes. This is an example of him playing to his strengths instead of his usual style of steamrolling everything he doesn’t like under his biases. I guess he can take pride in knowing he created one of the best Mary Sues of all time, and one of only a handful of Confederate characters who are actually interesting. He definitely deserves his ranking on those “Best comic book villains” lists, though I think it’s good he never cracks the top 50. He’s great, one of the best, but I’m not sure I’d call him “Top 50” best.

#Psycho Analysis #Preacher #The Saint of Killers #Garth Ennis

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raspberrydaisieschlb · 1 year

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HOO BOY FINALLY WATCHED IT

I have a lot of thoughts but I’m going to focus on our protag right now, because god was she good. (Semi-rant)

(spoilers. Read at own risk)

Like, there are a lot of things that have yet to be answered, about Sora ALONE, but it’s the first episode so of course we’ll have to wait. But so far, Sora is pretty solidly written, and already distinguishing herself from other leaders, minus the color.

Because let’s be honest: What she did was stupid. Her first idea when seeing an explosion at a castle was TO GO TOWARDS IT, she chased after a superpowered terrorist pig unarmed, went into the villain dark matter portal, and tried to fight the motw with no powers whatsoever. Don’t get me wrong, it was cool to see but it was FUCKING DUMB. But they didn’t change the gravity of the situation and girl is bruised and struggling to get up before she becomes Cure Sky. And it’s clear some part of her knows what she’s doing is stupid because it was emphasized more than once that she was scared. I believe at the beginning of the episode she said something along the lines of “What kind of hero would I be if I was scared?” and yet, at least twice, she showed fear. But girl kept fighting for Ellee (how do you spell her name?) despite everything that happened. That amount of strength and determination is not something I’ve seen in a Cure before (not this early in the season at least)

But again, it’s only the first episode, and all seasons have their flaws, so considering what has happened in past seasons, I just have a few concerns:

They won’t acknowledge failure. Like, I get it. It’s a kids show. And failure sucks. But since this show has a bit of a superhero theme this time around, there should be a moment in time where they acknowledge that even heroes aren’t perfect and can be prone to failure as much as the next person.

2. They won’t acknowledge the potential stress and overwork that is going to be Sora’s life. I’m not as worried with this one, but I’m still worried. Sora has a personal code of conduct and still wanted to fight despite the fact she was struggling to stand, so this might not happen, but it’s 40 episodes, things get forgotten, and they can (and sometimes do) pretend that any unresolved stress the character has just doesn’t exist anymore! Or at all! I don’t need her life to be struggle city, but at least recognize this ain’t easy.

3. They’ll overplay this. Again, seeing Sora do stuff no one has ever done before was pretty cool! But they could keep pointing that out. A lot. Act like she is the best thing since Black and then say the same thing the next season. I (personally) like the powerhouses, but there is a reason why people have issues with things like Parthenon Mode and Forever Lovely. And this also mixes in with Sora getting too much focus. We’re supposed to have 5 leads by the end of this season, and from what I’ve heard, Prism isn’t showing up until the fourth episode. Balance is important.

4. They’ll forget her flaws. Currently the only one I can note is that she’s an idiot (not an obvious one, but still an idiot), she just makes up for that with her determination. But, similar to point 3, I have seen characters either become that of a Mary Sue, or an oversimplified version of their character. We don’t need that.

But I’m just going to silently pray none of this happens and hold on to the Sora Harewataru that was shown to me.

#precure #pretty cure #precure spoilers #hirogaru sky precure #hirogaru sky pretty cure #hirogaru sky spoilers #sora harewataru #cure sky

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jdgo51 · 2 months

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The Path to Healing Starts with Confronting Hidden Problems

Today's inspiration comes from:

Get Past Your Past

by Jason VanRuler

Editor’s note: It can feel like brokenness is the title of our stories. Or the ending. But, with God, we can face what we’ve been through, work through it, and truly have abundant life in Him (John 10:10). Enjoy this piece from Get Past Your Past by Jason VanRuler.

"Something I learned early on about remodeling a home is you have to fix even the stuff other people can’t see.

This fact became evident when I was faced with a gross basement wall in a house we were remodeling. The wall looked quite dirty. Normally a perfectionist, this time I reckoned that the best thing to do would be to slap some paint on it and call it good. So that’s what I did. The dirty wall was now “clean.”

This method worked. For a while. The basement was dark, so I just assumed the paint had covered the rough spot and everything was fine. Until the day I walked by the wall and saw that the spot I’d painted over had come through the paint and was as ugly as ever.

What?! I painted over that spot! The problem was that the dirty spot was not just dirty. It was moldy and mildewy. Without my having cleaned the spot first, the paint couldn’t solve the problem. It just covered it up for a while.

Multiplying Problems

A lot of us go through life like this. We see a dirty spot and figure that if we just throw some paint on it or avoid that area of the house, things will be fine. When this doesn’t work, we now have two problems: the original problem and this new problem created by our avoidance.

What I learned from the moldy-wall experience is that you have to solve the problem the first time. Throwing some paint on our issues doesn’t help in the long run. And that’s good, because the problem is important and worthy of our attention.

When I examine my life, I realize how much time I’ve spent afraid and running away from my issues. I think that sometimes when I check out, I’m probably not checking out so much as running away from a scary situation or an unwanted feeling.

While I’m running from fear, I typically find myself lost and alone the way I had felt as a child. It might be oversimplifying things, but I think that at the heart of this fear is a faith issue.

I want to show that inner child that he is protected and that I am an adult now.

I want to change my relationship with fear. I don’t want to keep running away from or slapping a coat of paint over my problems and calling it good.

But maybe it isn’t bad to be afraid.

When I think about it, checking out and running away feels a lot like the night someone tried to break into our house.

After trauma, healthiness requires healing.

A Childhood Trauma

When I was a young kid before my parents’ divorce, we lived in a ranch-style house in a decent area of town. In those first years of my life, I felt safe and protected. Until that one night.

I woke up to yelling and screaming and the sounds of my father running down to the basement. My mother was yelling that someone was trying to break in through a window. Having no concept of what was happening, I felt confused and terrified.

My father eventually came up from the basement brandishing a baseball bat and ran outside to chase the would-be intruder through the neighborhood until he got away.

After that night, my life changed in many ways, but I never slept the same again. I’d wake up terrified, having to check the doors and windows even when I lived on the sixteenth floor of an apartment building.

What’s funny is that I never even saw the person who was trying to break into our house. Nothing happened to me. My father saved the day by chasing him away. Nonetheless, fear followed me. I remained terrified.

I now know that this response is called trauma, but before I learned that concept, I just thought I had lost my mind. It was like being afraid of a ghost that I had never seen. It bothered me for years.

So many of us have experiences that are similar to or worse than this. Something happens that changes us, but instead of seeking healing, we seek comfort, which often isolates us. Every time I checked a window or door at night, it made me feel better only in that moment. It didn’t address my underlying fear or offer any type of healing.

After trauma, healthiness requires healing. Otherwise we go through our lives spending tremendous amounts of thought and energy trying to protect ourselves, even when it’s unnecessary.

Maybe you check a lot of doors and windows in your life because of a legitimate wound, but is that helping you? Or do you need to go back and heal instead? Most of the time healing is what needs to happen.

The good news is that our heavenly Father can handle the protection part if we let Him."

Excerpted with permission from Get Past Your Past: How Facing Your Broken Places Leads to True Connection by Jason VanRuler, copyright Jason VanRuler.

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booksandwords · 2 years

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Maple Sugar Crush by Beth Labonte

Series: An Autumnboro Sweet Romance, #2 Read Time: 6 Days (Intermittent) Rating: 4/5

The quote: “I need you to be my fake boyfriend for the next week and a half.” “Your what?” Oh, for Pete’s sake. Had he never read a romance novel? — Josie Morgan & Riley Parker

The ending is so so cute. Sweet and a wonderful pair for Pumpkin Everything. Riley and Josie are developed well from what we know, becoming more than stereotypes. Those stereotypes are the poor little rich girl and the best friend (also 'former' goth). I'm going to be honest, poor little rich girl with a rags to riches backstory is truly oversimplifying Josie's societal position. Anyone who read Pumpkin Everything knows that Josie has more money than most of us care to even this about from her $458,000,000 Powerball jackpot won five years prior to the start of the book. But she is frugal with it, giving it to people who need it or ask for it politely and just wanting to help others. We get all the answers as to why Josie is how she is. The issues that the money has caused her that has formed her current self, the whole truth not the watered-down version.

My love for Riley didn't change between the books. Riley is a gorgeous character he's so death positive and aware of himself. His reason for going into his job is so endearing. He takes Josie's behaviours well, he reminds her of what is normal and builds her back up. Look goth boys are the best boys, and there really is no such thing as a reformed or ex goth they just learn how to blend better. There is one moment I really like "He met me halfway across the parking lot and immediately handed over his phone. “What’s this?” I asked, laughing as I took it from him. “This is one of those eyes on you and not my phone type of things.”. Riley is a Pokemon Go addict. To me, this is one of the most romantic things he could do. And the phone is a huge part of their relationship which is handled so, so well.

Josie and Riley are both likeable and I find them relatable on different levels. Their story suits them. It is anchored well in their personality traits. And their communication breakdowns are so human and so very millennial as much as anything else. Maple Sugar Crush took me far, far longer than it had any right to. But realistically this is readable in a day and is definitely worth reading as either a standalone holiday romance or as a companion to Pumpkin Everything.

Second quote: Jawline of a Greek god, and a heart of gold to boot. Now he was picking out sweaters for my dog. — Josie Morgan (Josie has her priorities straight what can I say)

#maple sugar crush #beth labonte #an autumnboro sweet romance #book review #holiday reads #ktreviews #read 2021 #booklr

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cqlfeels · 3 years

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@lansplaining encouraged me to finish this random meta nobody asked for, so let's talk about Meng Yao, Meng Shi, and 孟母三遷 (mèng mǔ sān qiān), a proverb about good parenting.

A warning: this is super long (even for me!) and is less quality meta and more my ADHD brain jumping around a maze of loosely related ideas. Proceed with caution!

Let me start by briefly going through why I decided to write this, because it’s important. In haunting Meng Shi’s tag in my starvation for Meng Shi content, I’ve multiple times come across the idea that Meng Shi pushed Meng Yao too hard, that she should’ve been more careful with teaching him to seek his father’s approval at any cost, and that she was too naïve. I’ve never reblogged this kind of post because 1) I personally think it’s rude to go out of your way to ramble about how much you disagree with someone on their own post and 2) if this was an isolated incident I wouldn't care either way, so I didn’t want to direct this rant at anyone in particular. It’s more to do with a tendency, primarily (as far as I can tell) from fans who haven’t had much contact with Chinese culture, to oversimplify Meng Shi and make her relationship with Meng Yao slightly disturbing, and I think part of it is due to CQL basically cutting out her entire storyline (so fans simply don’t have info about her to assess her fairly) and part is due to misunderstanding what a good parent is supposed to act like in the context of Ancient China.

[Of course, Ancient China is not a very useful historical concept, not any more than “ye olde Europe” - things change a lot based on time and place - but you know. It’s fantasy. Extremely broad trends are okay in this case.]

Anyway, the idea behind the posts I mentioned is, basically, that Meng Shi (usually through no fault of her own) is to blame for Meng Yao’s obsession with power, since his desire for approval was inherited from lessons she taught him. Just to start with, I’d argue that Meng Yao isn’t power-hungry as much as he craves security and respect, but that’s a different meta. Let’s assume that she really did teach him to be Like That. Was she wrong to do so? I’m not looking for “does that make for a happy, well-adjusted childhood?” or “would you raise your own son as Meng Shi did?” - I’m trying to figure out, would she have been considered a bad mother in the context of the society she lived in? I don’t think she would’ve.

It is surprisingly hard to find texts about the obligations of parents in Ancient China. Their main obligation is to raise filial children, but I feel like that’s not very useful: whether or not parents are good parents, children are expected to be filial, so a child being filial really says more about the child than about the parent. Maybe the parent completely missed the mark and society at large was what taught the child to be filial!

We can assume, of course, that parents were to raise good people, and that by learning what a good person looked like, we could figure out whether the parent was successful, but once again, I feel like that’s pinning things on the outcome, not on the process - the best of parents can end up with an awful kid and vice versa.

While thinking about all this, it took me a frankly embarrassing amount of time to remember the story of Mother Meng and Meng Zi, but once I did, it wouldn’t leave my mind - in part because the Meng here is the exact same Meng of Meng Shi and Meng Yao (yay! fun if useless parallel!), and in part because this is a story about how a woman can successfully raise a son by herself.

Okay, so important note: one of the most influential ancient Chinese thinkers is Meng Zi (孟子 Mèng Zǐ), who is known in the West as Mencius. If you've never heard of him - he's perhaps second in importance only to Confucius. When Mencius was still a young child, his father died, so he was raised by his mother, who is usually known only as Mother Meng (in Chinese, 孟母 Mèng Mǔ.)

Mother Meng's story is told in Biographies of Exemplary Women (列女傳 Liènǚ Zhuàn), which for around 2000 years beginning around the 18th century BCE, was the most commonly used book used to educate women. The book is divided into sections, each one showing a different way women could be honorable and good. Mother Meng's story is told in the Maternal Models section (母儀傳 Mǔ Yí Zhuàn.) The story has a few parts, some of which I'll quote, always from Kinney's 2014 translation.

Before I go on to quote it, though, I'd like to establish that Mother Meng's story is so, so famous that even if Meng Shi had never read this particular book, I'm almost certain she would've been familiar with at least the outlines of Mother Meng's story. I'm not cherry picking a suitable chapter from the book, I'm literally going with the most famous story in it because Meng Shi would be most likely to know this one if she knew no other story.

Okay, the first part of the tale takes place when Mencius is a young boy and Mother Meng is a widow raising him.

The mother of Meng Ke of Zou [a different name for Mencius] was called Mother Meng. She lived near a graveyard. During Mencius’ youth, he enjoyed playing among the tombs, romping about pretending to prepare the ground for burials. Mother Meng said, “This is not the place to raise my son.” She therefore moved away and settled beside the marketplace. But there he liked to play at displaying and selling wares like a merchant. Again Mother Meng said, “This is not the place to raise my son,” and once more left and settled beside a school. There, however, he played at setting out sacrificial vessels, bowing, yielding, entering, and withdrawing. His mother said, “This, indeed, is where I can raise my son!” and settled there. When Mencius grew up, he studied the Six Arts, and finally became known as a great classicist. A man of discernment would say, “Mother Meng was good at gradual transformation.”

According to the translator's footnote, "gradual transformation" is "a childrearing technique, whereby a child is morally formed through daily exposure to correct models of behavior."

From this story comes the proverb 孟母三遷 (Mèng Mǔ sān qiān) - "Mother Meng moved three times." It's come to mean that a parent - especially the mother of a male child - should spare no efforts to provide an environment that will give their child a good education, paying particular attention to what models are surrounding them.

I'm sure I don't need to say if Meng Shi was at all familiar with this proverb (and she would probably be), she must have been very stressed out over literally raising her son in a brothel. (Here I must mention sex workers in ancient China were often essentially owned by the brothels, so literally "moving three times" wasn't really an option for Meng Shi even if she could miraculously pick up another trade.) Meng Shi did however at least try to surround Meng Yao with the accomplishments appropriate for the son of a cultivator:

Xiao-Meng, are you still learning those things lately? [...] The things your mom wants you to learn, things like calligraphy, etiquette, swordsmanship, meditation… How are those things going? [...] His mom’s raising him as a young master of a wealthy family. She taught him how to read and write, bought him all those swordsmanship pamphlets, and even wants to send him to school.

Meng Yao actually talks a little bit about “those swordsmanship pamphlets” in the only time in canon he directly shares memories about this mother:

Lan XiChen, “Your [guqin] skills are also considered quite fine outside of Gusu. Were they taught by your mother?”

Jin GuangYao, “No. I taught myself by watching others. She never taught me such things. She only taught me reading and writing, and bought a handful of expensive sword and cultivation guides for me to practice.”

Lan XiChen seemed surprised, “Sword and cultivation guides?”

Jin GuangYao, “Brother, you haven’t seen them before, have you? Those small booklets sold by the common folk. First jumbled sketches of human figures, then deliberately mystified captions.”

Lan XiChen shook his head, smiling. Jin GuangYao shook his head as well, “All of them are scams, especially to fool women like my mother and ignorant children. You won’t lose anything by practicing them, but you definitely won’t gain anything either.”

He sighed in a rueful way, “But how could my mother have known this? She bought them no matter how expensive they were, saying that if I returned to see my father in the future, I had to see him with as much competence as possible so that I don’t fall behind. All of the money was spent on this.”

See what’s happening? Meng Shi cannot physically take Meng Yao to cultivators, but she spares no efforts in giving him the closest thing she possibly can -- figuratively, we might say she moved three times.

Of course, these booklets don’t work, but as Meng Yao says, how could she have known this? The cultivation world is very closed off - think of how the entire Mo household gathers to see Lan juniors, and how Wei Wuxian mentions once that “Cultivation families, in the eyes of common folk, are like people favored by God, mysterious yet noble.” Not just noble, but mysterious. That tracks, too - I mean, they live in inaccessible households and mostly leave to night hunt or visit each other, neither of which is an activity that would allow commoners to get much more than an occasional glimpse of them.

Now, if Meng Shi doesn’t even know that a pearl for Jin Guangshan was just a trinket, if she doesn’t know even the wealth of a major sect, how can she read booklets and decide whether that’s genuine cultivation or not? All that she sees is a chance for Meng Yao to be surrounded by the ideas and skills of the people she wants him to emulate - cultivators - and therefore she does everything she can to get him that chance. Mother Meng moved three times.

Okay, but maybe the argument is not “Meng Shi shouldn’t have pushed Meng Yao to cultivation” but rather “she should’ve pushed him, just not too hard." To that, I present another tale from Mencius' childhood:

Once, when Mencius was young, he returned home after finishing his lessons and found his mother spinning. She asked him, “How far did you get in your studies today?” Mencius replied, “I’m in about the same place as I was before.” Mother Meng thereupon took up a knife and cut her weaving. Mencius was alarmed and asked her to explain. Mother Meng said, “Your abandoning your study is like my cutting this weaving. A man of discernment studies in order to establish a name and inquires to become broadly knowledgeable. By this means, when he is at rest, he can maintain tranquility and when he is active, he can keep trouble at a distance. If now you abandon your studies, you will not escape a life of menial servitude and will lack the means to keep yourself from misfortune. How is this different from weaving and spinning to eat? If one abandons these tasks midway, how can one clothe one’s husband and child and avoid being perpetually short of food? If a woman abandons that with which she nourishes others and a man is careless about cultivating his virtue, if they don’t become brigands or thieves, then they will end up as slaves or servants.” Mencius was afraid. Morning and evening he studied hard without ceasing. He served Zisi [a great scholar whose grandfather was Confucius] as his teacher and then became one of the most renowned classicists in the world.

Notice that Mother Meng moved three times to ensure Mencius would have the highest of aspirations - to become a scholar. But just aspiration isn’t enough. Not by any means. Now that Mencius is actually studying, Mother Meng is willing to take an extreme action to ensure he's taking it seriously. Mencius doesn't have a father to smooth his path to success. He has to learn that aspiring to greatness isn't enough. He'll have to put in the effort as if his life depended on it. And if he doesn't persist in his hard work, everything he's done thus far will be useless. Sounds like a lesson imparted on young Meng Yao, doesn’t it?

A lot of fandom rage towards Meng Shi would apply to China's Best Mom Contender, Mother Meng. She gives her son big dreams, and teaches him how to go about achieving them in a society where failing is easier than succeeding. Yes, it's fair to say that Meng Shi taught Meng Yao to refuse to settle for anything less than being “Jin Guangshan's son, a respected cultivator.” Yes, it's also fair to say that she probably didn't allow him much time to play like children his age did. But unfortunately, in the world of MDZS, poor children probably wouldn't get to play anyhow, the difference is that they'd usually be working, not studying. Studying is a privilege! It’s a privilege Meng Yao could not afford but was given to him anyway, through his mother’s many sacrifices. We can even say that while she was alive, Meng Shi was trying to ensure Meng Yao would one day have a better life, at the expense of a fun childhood - and that's very Mother Meng of her, whatever our modern Western sensibilities might have to say about that.

Finally, I’d skip other tales (which show Mother Meng and an adult Mencius) and go straight to the poem that ends the Mother Meng section:

The mother of Mencius

Was able to teach, transform, judge, and discriminate.

With skill she selected a place to raise her son,

Prompting him to accord with the great principles.

When her son’s studies did not advance,

She cut her weaving to illustrate her point.

Her son then perfected his virtue;

His achievements rank as the crowning glory of his generation.

I’d like to focus on the last verse - “His achievements rank as the crowning glory of his generation.” All that Mother Meng wanted was for Mencius to not completely ruin his life, but he became great. You can so very easily see a parallel with how Meng Shi hoped Meng Yao would be a cultivator but he became Jin Guangyao, Chief Cultivator, styled Lianfang-zun, one of the Three Venerable, hero of the Sunshot Campaign.

Of course you can say “Jin Guangyao did many Very Wrong Things to get there, though!” Which, sure, okay, fair point. How many and how wrong depends on which canon we're discussing, and your own interpretation, but there’s no version of the story in which Jin Guangyao is 100% an innocent child uwu. But blaming that on Meng Shi is just... straight up weird? I don’t see anyone going “If Jiang Fengmian hadn’t adopted Wei Wuxian, he’d never have dared become Yiling Laozu!” and that’s pretty much the same logic. Would street kid Wei Wuxian have invented a new type of cultivation if he had never been taken in by the Jiang? Probably not, but raising undead armies is very much not something Jiang Fengmian could’ve predicted. In the same way, how could Meng Shi have predicted that teaching her pre-adolescent son “You are the son of a cultivator, act like one and earn your place in society” would’ve ultimately resulted in innocent deaths? How could she predict “You’re not destined to having the same horrible life I did, you can get something better than this” was a bad thing to teach? I quite honestly don’t know.

Finally, I'd like to point towards a much flimsier evidence that Meng Shi did great as a parent. And that is Meng Yao’s love. Nie Huaisang at some point comments Meng Shi is someone who Meng Yao "cherishes more than his life," and I think his assessment is correct.

Even putting aside the fact he built a whole temple to get his mother to reincarnate into a better life, and even putting aside how he refuses to flee the country without her remains, there's still crystal clear evidence that Meng Shi must've done something right. Because a lifetime of people using his mother to bully him doesn't seem to have made Meng Yao resent her. Had their relationship not have been very strong, odds are he'd feel bitter and/or ashamed of her. That doesn't seem to be the case. He's attached to her even decades after her death.

I want to be very careful with equating mutual affection with good parenting, though. When I was a rather rebellious teenager, my mother (in typical Chinese fashion) used to say that parents and children don't have to love each other as long as they're dutiful to each other, by which she meant that a parent-child relationship isn't informed by warm and fuzzy feelings, but by whether you'd be willing to do anything for each other. Specific to my case, she meant "I don't care if it makes you hate me, you will do as you're told because that's what's best for you." (That may also be the reason why people more familiar with Chinese culture see the Jiang family less as outright abusive and more as #complicated, but that's another meta.)

Whether your kid wants to hug you every time they see you is of no consequence to traditional Chinese thought - raising them to be the best they can is all that matters, because at the end of the day, you won't be around forever, but you can definitely set up your kid's life so that it goes smoothly and virtuously. How that's accomplished varies depending on many factors, but to have the goal be "I want my child to love me" rather than "I want to raise my child right" would've been considered selfish as hell.

So even if all that Meng Shi had given Meng Yao had been stern lessons about the need to go get his birthright, she would've still have been considered a good mother!! In fact, she would've been doing everything she was supposed to do, under extremely difficult conditions! (Remember the importance of environment? That Meng Yao grew up to want to be a cultivator despite having probably never even met one speaks wonders about Meng Shi's childrearing powers!!)

But just based off how over the top Meng Yao's filal dutifulness is, I'd go a step further and say that even as she did the impossible, she was also loving enough to inspire genuine affection. This is complicated because children who have present fathers could expect their mothers to be tender with them. The first century BCE text 禮記 Lǐ Jì or The Classic of Rites says that:

Here now is the affection of a father for his sons - he loves the worthy among them, and places on a lower level those who do not show ability; but that of a mother for them is such, that while she loves the worthy, she pities those who do not show ability - the mother deals with them on the ground of affection and not of showing them honour; the father, on the ground of showing them honour and not of affection.

But when the father figure is lacking for any reason, the mother must abandon her tenderness because someone must guide the child, and without a father, the role falls to the mother. A single or widowed mother had to be very careful to not smother their children with affection and raise useless, spoiled kids, or so it was thought. (The presence of Qingheng-jun and Lan Qiren is why Madame Lan can be so affectionate with the Lan boys, by the way - if she was raising them by herself she would've been expected to be much more practical. AUs where she just gets her kids and runs away could do very cool things with this idea. But I digress!)

Where was I? Oh, okay. Because Meng Yao seems to not just respect, but actively miss her, it seems that Meng Shi somehow managed to deal with her son on the ground of both honor and affection, to paraphrase.

So basically, all things considered, it seems not only would Meng Shi have been considered a great mom (if people could look past her being a prostitute, anyway) but she also went above and beyond the bare minimum. She truly spared no efforts on any front to make sure her son had everything your average gongzi would have - someone to teach him and someone to love him, access to education and confidence in his birthright. That she couldn't actually make him a cultivator, that she couldn't actually raise him in a proper home with no one being cruel to herself or him - that's immaterial. Even Mother Meng couldn't control what her neighbors did, only what she taught her son! The key point is Meng Shi tried. She did everything she could to educate her son right. You couldn't ask more of her, and quite honestly, you should probably be asking less.

Of course we can't err on the other extreme and say she was Perfect. Given MXTX only ever writes flawed characters, we can safely assume that if we'd known more about Meng Shi, we would've seen many flaws. Indeed, just the fact she didn't teach Meng Yao the guqin when he apparently wanted to learn it might point to some conflict we don't know enough to speculate about (maybe she focused too much on cultivation when Meng Yao's interests lay elsewhere? Maybe she wasn't able to sufficiently shelter him and he felt it'd be a burden to ask her to teach him anything? Maybe maybe maybe, go wild with your fics.) Nevertheless, I would never hold a female character to a higher ideal than a male character - if the male cast of MDZS can be a hot mess and still be admirable for what they're trying to do, then so can Meng Shi.

At the end of the day, when I look at Meng Shi - and I've made myself a document with all the references to her in the novel canon so I could easily contemplate her life and character - all I see is a woman every bit as determined and resourceful as her son, willing to do everything it took to raise her little boy into the sophisticated and ambitious man he became.

Finally, here's a fun little parallel that I'm 100% sure was unintentional but I still love. I said Meng Shi couldn't have moved three times. She couldn't, but I think maybe she taught her son he was worth moving three times for. Qinghe Nie. Qishan Wen. Lanling Jin. Isn't that super fun to think about?

Alternatively, tl;dr: Oh My God I Can't Believe We're Blaming Women For The Actions Of Their Adult Children In The Year Of Our Lord 2k21, Meng Shi Was Doing Her Best, Chill!

#drinking game #take a shot every time i say 'finally'#this post refused to let me get to the end of it lol #i think because i'm extremely salty about fanon stage mom meng shi #(to not say tiger mom meng shi which crosses into outright racism. but i'm giving people the benefit of the doubt)

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swamplatibule · 2 years

Text

a long as fuck but oversimplified summary of everything that has ever happened in the Starwritten society up to this point

Arc 1

The society exists 👍

Fox also exists

As well as Hollister

Fox gets assigned this random kid (hollister) to mentor

He’s not happy about it😕

But there’s nothing he can really do about it so oh well too bad so sad haha loser

Hollister is a very quick learner

They go on a mission together and meet the BBEG who now has a personal vendetta against both of them bc Fox like killed her mom or smth idk :/

Now they have to hunt her down while she’s actively trying to kill both of them

Her name‘s Eleanor btw

Fox and Hollister slowly develop a father-daughter relationship

but Like in a banter kinda way

and they’re both too stubborn to admit it

anyway

Hollister does some dum shit n almost dies

Fox yells at her because he’s grown attached to her whether he likes it or not

Hollister takes a walk to cool off

She gets fuckin kidnapped lol

Fox has to go save his kid

Big fight🥊🥊🥊

Eleanor fucking dies

Kidding she gets arrested

She can’t die yet she has to do that later

hollister and fox admit they care about each other and are now father and child

happily ever after

Arc 2

the bad guy’s name is Andrew

And he’s really a victim not a villain but SHHHH you don’t know that until later

He’s not even a lab runner he’s just being blackmailed by a certain someone into fucking with the society to distract them

Wilson suddenly exists ❤️

Like he did last arc but he wasn’t super important

Also there’s a lot of content of him working with Fox and them being friends and the imaginary shippers go fucking wild

Anyway 💅💅💅

We get an actual explanation of everyone’s backstories (except Wilson we just know his mentor is dead) because there’s this one “episode” where they’re on a boat and they have nothing to do so they just go “hey wanna talk about our trauma“ “sure!”

Hollister figures out this guy‘s being threatened

Turns out his son’s been kidnapped

its This Whole Thing🤷

anyway

The problem is solved and he gets to be an agent of the society and the token straight

We never see him again :)

we also don’t know who was blackmailing him but Wilson has a suspicion

Remember his dead mentor?

Yeah he gets a call from her asking to meet urgently

That’s where it ends

Arc 3

God has officially left the groupchat babes

Wilson goes to meet his dead mentor again

She is very worried 😧

Turns out someone from his past (@ my one and only mutual you know who it is dontcha) who hurt him a LOT was the one blackmailing Andrew

Wilson is very much more concerned about the fact that SHE’S STILL ALIVE??

AND SHE DIDNT TELL HIM???🤨

she says something about our new bbeg hunting her or smt and Wilson goes ”okay aight thats fair”

anyway she’s gotta go but she tells him he’s got a while before our bbeg comes after him

he does NOT have a while🙃

He tries to pretend everything is normal

Fox, Kennedy, Wilson, and Hollister go on a trip to escort some new lab runner to a very special Starwritten Society prison

Guess who shows up

Thats right

Its Jake from Statefarm

kidding it’s this ugly ass mf Alastor 🤢

who showed up purely to antagonize Wilson and also make a halfassed attempt to kill him but mainly the first one

And Wilson is revealed to be an enhanced!

He has pyrokinesis and heat manipulation and super fast healing who knew??

I did motherfuckers

I knew

anyway

turns out Wilson’s not like other girls bc he wasn’t a kidnapped kid with powers, Alastor straight up made a person

with lab equipment and science obviously

how else do you make a person 🤨

anyway and Wilson was raised to be a human flamethrower (read: weaponized child) for Alastor but was saved when he was 17 and he suffered horrible abuse

Alastor fucking sucks

Wilson is now dealing with both the facts that his past abuser showed up again to fuck up his life

and ALSO he’s in love

with Fox

lmao loser

So some shit happens

Mainly chasing Alastor back and forth

But Fox gets shot, almost dies, Wilson confesses his love while his future husband is actively dying like a true Disney prince

he Doesn’t Die so dw 👍

Wilson takes Hollister to Paris bc they think Alastor is there

They end up rescuing Jade, Alastor’s new “project”

She and Hollister get along very well

Like really well

Like girlfriends well👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

Anyway more shit happens

Fox gets kidnapped (that happens a lot huh,,,)

wilson goes to save him

wilson almost dies but his old mentor shows up in true Deus ex machina style

Alastor fucking dies yay :DDD bitch

And Wilson And Fox Kiss

everything wraps up perfectly :))

Arc 4

Fox and Wilson are dating. 👨‍❤️‍👨

Just thought you should know that

Anyway

Did you know Fox had a sister

Keyword “had”, she died or some shit when he was 14.

But it turns out she DIDNT die actually haha wow that seems like a trend in this paracosm 💀

Nah actually she got kidnapped, brainwashed, given superhuman abilities and then turned into like,, the goodwill winter soldier.

Her power seems to be that she moves really fast but she actually just slows down time for everyone but herself.

Anyway she breaks into the Society because she’s SUPPOSED to be kidnapping Adams

(the director)

But she kidnaps Walker instead by accident

and the lab runner dude who’s basically gaslit her into believing hes her dad is very not happy that they got this dumb motherfucker and not Adams😐

So Walker got his ass kidnapped and everyone is panicking bc who the fuck would be so bold as to literally break into the Society, snatch some Random Idiot and just,,, leave??

Fox is also having one HELL of a crisis because they got a blood sample on the chick and she’s his dead sister so yknow

They track her down, she slowly starts regaining old memories but she can’t make sense of them

and as such is very annoyed when Fox calls her ”Wren”

Because she’s not “Wren” she’s the motherfucking RED ELITE 🤬🤬

yet Wren feels so familiar to her?

So eventually she’s pieced together enough to know that this mf is her brother?? What

and her “dad” actually fucking sucks

(her actual dad sucked too but we dont talk about him, focus)

she confronts Walker about it because they still have him kidnapped

Walker is a literal dumbass but he’s a well-meaning dumbass so he tries to help

They escape together

Wren just sorta… shows up?? At the society building?

Walker has to explain to everyone that it’s FINE he’s fine she’s friendly now!! :D see! she had an existential crisis and now she’s nice!!

Fox is the first to forgive her he just hugs her

they got each other back :DD

anywho they go murder the fuck out of the dude who brainwashed her

And then she kinda just leaves

to go figure herself out or smth

idk

this one was weird🤷

Arc 5

More focus on Adams this time

Why?

because the bbeg is their brother whoa

who woulda thought

anyway some shit happens

the main early plot point is that we find out Hollister is actually an enhanced?🧐

She was the result of an experiment of the same bad guy of this arc who was trying to recreate what Alastor did with Wilson

and while he did create a human person who was GENERALLY enhanced he failed to create the ability he was trying for

so he deemed the kid a failed experiment and told one of his other scientists to get rid of her

this lady wasn’t about to kill a baby so she just kinda gave Hollister a name and dropped her off somewhere and went “BAM no longer my problem.”

now hollister is having a crisis bc turns out her entire life has been based on the fact that she wasn’t good enough which is her worst fear :/

so that’s fun

anyway once again they murder the shit out of the bad guys

hollister gets therapy and is no longer having a crisis and has actually started to accept herself MORE for who she is!

did I mention this is all severely oversimplified

im skipping so much

its not this boring I promise

anyway everything is fine again

Arc 6

Hollister is now almost 18 and getting ready for her ~official~ graduation into a real agent

Fox is very proud of her😁

Too bad for him tho bc he fucking dies!

kidding kidding

everyone just THINKS he’s dead but he’s not because he fell out of a helicopter down a several hundred foot drop into the sea BUT he got caught by some telekinetic kid on a boat so he’s Fine Actually

everyone is sad

especially Wilson

because Fox actually proposed the day before

so sad

thats really as far as I’ve gotten

😇

#paracosm: the starwritten society #paraportal #my paracosm #my paras #para: wilson #para: fox #para: kennedy #para: hollister #para: walker #wilfox #tw death #god it’s so convoluted at this point #lmao it’s my longest running paracosm #for maybe two years now?

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remythologise · 3 years

Note

Hello! I found your blog via you amazingly summarizing all that's going on with the spn drama. Due to my schedules, rl stuff, some of the arcs that didn't vibe with me, my availability to find a place to watch...the rollercoaster I was used to with this fandom was more me binging it in a weekend to going months to over a year without watching it. I still haven't watched the last season(but with a fandom this big it's pretty impossible not be spoiled so I more or less know what happened) BUT oh great one I ask of thee for more information if you have it...other than being busy and whatnot, I'm not really one to keep up with the actors as well. So could you also maybe do a summary of all the stans? I'im seeing terms I haven't seen before. Who is Kelios(sp?)? Hellions?? probably messed it up but like...I guess what are the name of each legion? Who do they have alliance towards? What was their desires? Que paso?!?!?!?

Hi there! 'Some of the arcs that didn't vibe with me' me emotionally quitting Supernatural in Season 7 after they killed Castiel 😂 Anyway I totally get it, I went through the same culture shock mid-last year when I got back into SPN and tried to find where fandom was at! There's really a LOT of lore and content after 15 years though so I'll just do the broad brushstrokes based on my impressions and personal stereotypes PLEASE remember this is oversimplifying groups and individuals to tendencies and I'm very biased! Also important that there are sub-factions within sub-factions - again, I'm simplifying here!

I've also linked to the 'Super-wiki' in terms of some definitions because the Super-wiki has pages for them where the Fandom-wiki does not. Great introduction actually - only in the Supernatural fandom. There are two Supernatural wikis. One, through curation and twitter activity, supports BiBro/Wincest factions and does not support Destiel users. One is more neutral or Destiel-friendly (I don't know that the Fandom wiki has a personality/social media presence per se). You cannot make this up. There is a factional war... within use of fandom wikis.

Destiel faction

People who primarily ship Dean/Cas, love Castiel and (often, although not always) Jack, and the 'found family' of Supernatural as well as the brothers, and like the post s3 seasons too. Hated 15.19 and 15.20 for killing Dean and ignoring the other characters/narrative arc of the show. Nicknamed 'Destihellers' by the Wincest faction as a derogatory term, 'reclaimed' and shortened as 'Hellers', a nickname they use affectionately to describe each other. See more info on nicknames here.

Sometimes also ship ‘Cockles’ (the ship between Misha Collins and Jensen Ackles) although generally speaking they're more respectful of the wives of the actors than J2 shippers, who are notoriously responsible for... a vast series of insane-fan misdemeanours. Historically most were also good at keeping RPF to themselves and not harassing celebrities with it directly, although recently, particularly with younger twitter fans, that has not been the case.

Sub-factions:

The ‘Desticule’ or ‘Destiel tumblr’ - general grouping of Destiel-shipping tumblr users around 20-30 years old, usually LGBT+, most who came back to the show post-15.18 after leaving it for various reasons including getting sick of the queerbaiting. Funniest bitches alive etc. and responsible for the best text posts you’ve ever seen. Can also start stupid discourse and in-group drama when they’re bored.

'POLOL' - People of Lots of Letters, a discord group (of tumblr and twitter users) that ran on the assumption Andrew Dabb was playing a hugely intricate game of 3D chess to do with gnostic symbolism among other things, and would make Destiel canon. Have since had their own factional sub-wars and fallen apart a bit. Some of their meta was and is good and interesting! Some of it was wildly off the mark. Now generally insist that Dabb/the writers were all pushing for Destiel canon and the network is entirely to blame.

Twitter fans (TikTok edition) - younger fans around 18 and younger who (FOR REASONS BEYOND ME) started watching the show around 2018-2020. Definition of 'stans'. Tend to be very loud and aggressive on twitter when Events Happen, which like. I do get, because they've grown up in a completely different media environment and this kind of Dinosaur Politicking around LGBT+ issues is beyond them. Fancam central. Anyway stream #CASTIEL for clear skin!

Twitter fans (AO3 edition) - older fans around 30+ who kept going with the show but either don't have a large tumblr presence or just prefer twitter. A lot of fic writers, GISH-ers, and BNFs in this group. Some of them are very cool and reasonable in their opinions, some of them act like the younger stans. Some of them too accepting of what happened wrt 15.19-20 in my opinion, because, in contrast to the younger twitter stans, they grew up expecting Destiel to NEVER be canon or respected. 'Can't believe we got this far' etc.

Multiship faction

Multishippers or shippers of things not as large as the two main behemoths . Sub-factions based on shipping, e.g. Megstiel and Sastiel. I don't think these groups are very large though, and seem to have very little influence in the Discourse.

Wincest faction

LARGE overlap with the 'BiBro' faction and their opinions, which I'll get to. Ship Sam and Dean romantically. Often pretend to be BiBros on places like twitter and reddit in order for outside groups to take their opinions more seriously. 'Wincesties' etc. are derogatory nicknames given by the Destiel faction.

Sub-factions:

Multiship fans - ship Sam and Dean but respect Castiel/the 'found family'. Politically overlap with the faction of multishippers, I think. I don't have a lot of insight on this group of people honestly, but I know they exist.

Bronlies - the typical BiBro and 'Wincest' shippers most people think of, twitter user 'Kelios' is one of the would-be ringleaders of this faction - typically tend to be older white midwestern women. Historically have been pretty nasty on twitter (leading to Robert Berens, writer who made Destiel canon, occasionally subtweeting Kelios). Also tend to ship 'J2' - and take it very seriously as a legitimate thing that is really real. This is called 'tinhatting'.

BiBro faction

People who think the show should JUST be about the brothers, love Supernatural s1-3 and everything after it should have been just like Supernatural s1-3. Hate Castiel, Jack, and the 'found family'. Largely loved 15.20. Go to literally any comments section on any Supernatural article and You Will Find Them complaining about how the show should just be about the Brothers. Tend to be older, straighter, and more conservative/Republican (and male) fans. (I am aware that the definition of 'BiBro' used to refer to people who just liked the brothers but there's no definitional difference now in the discourse.) The Wincest and BiBro faction are generally much more wealthy than the Destiel faction (they being younger and more diverse/queer/left-leaning in general) and would be the biggest revenue generators at conventions etc.

Sub-factions:

Reddit bros - literally anyone who visits r/supernatural. Well, that's not fair - there are people who post reasonable opinions on there, but it's pretty rare and they get downvoted a lot. Like to talk about 'toxic Destiel fans' 'ruining the show' and how Dean is a straight man who is straight and could never possibly be gay. Might even think the confession was platonic despite all evidence to the contrary. I'm Not Homophobic I Have Gay Friends, But No Gays on MY Show!

Old Guard - group of older fans who overlap strongly with the Wincest faction, but might not necessarily ship Wincest.

GA faction

'General Audience' - These are the group of audience members that aren't 'online' so to speak; most watch the show on TV as a Casual Viewing Experience (are therefore also sometimes referred to as 'casuals'. Mostly their opinions tend towards BiBros, but they have a vast range of baffling views thanks to being Not Online and usually Not caring about Supernatural that much or thinking that deeply about it.

Sub-factions:

People who simply watch Supernatural on TV and then don't think about it very much after that.

I said they weren't 'online' but that's not entirely true; I'd probably classify people on Supernatural Facebook Groups as GA, along with friends of friends who post statuses about how 15.20 was a neat finale that wrapped up the series.

Conclusion

Supernatural is famously the show that appeals to both Republicans and Democrats, literally All Orientations, so there's a WIDE range of factions. However, most warring online boils down to Destiel vs. Wincest/BiBro - the war that started in Season 4 and has simply never ended. In terms of the 'actors' and their stans, in general, Wincest/BiBro fans love Jared, like Jensen, and dislike Misha. Destiel fans love Misha, like Jensen, and dislike Jared. Of course as with everything, there are variations and this is just a generalisation. But that's the summary of it, from my perspective!

This didn't even get into Sam girls, Dean girls and Cas girls. God. Anyway.

Hope that answered your question, anon!

#for some reason read more does not work on my blog main page now? you'll have to click the permalink #season 17 time for a theme change tumblr has broken this one too much sigh #ask #anonymous #this might be the most controversial thing I've ever posted or I might escape with nobody noticing it. Only Two Outcomes #didn't mention any other factional ringleaders because well #I value my life etc.#unironically who will fund me writing the PhD on supernatural fandom etc. etc.#the graphs. the statistics. the sociological insights #kira for ts #supernatural spoilers #spn spoilers

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radiant-flutterbun · 3 years

Text

Mason’s Brightside Part 2

Part 1

“No Mason, weird dreams are not a symptom of the herb I gave you last night,” Alaria sighed “If you had listened to me you would know the opposite is true.”

“No dreams is a symptom?”

“Yes and so are dehydration headaches so make sure you drink lots of water.”

Alaria shooed Mason outside of the healing den and he nearly crashed into Corkscrew, a spiral.

“Watch where you’re going!” Corkscrew snarled.

Mason ignored him and went to get something to drink, his mind however was still thinking about that dream. He’d never been a vivid dreamer. Something about it was so unnatural.

Evan came up to him later in the day and he described the dream to him.

“Weird right?”

“Yeah but sometimes a dream is just a dream. Don’t read too much into it.”

“But it felt so real!”

“You sure it’s not… Ya know your mind playing tricks on you?”

Mason glared at Evan “It wasn’t that.”

“Sorry, sorry I didn’t mean to imply…” Evan coughed “Maybe you’re just not used to a good night’s sleep is all.”

Mason thought about that for a moment “That… Ok yeah that I can believe.”

The next night he was given the same herb from Alaria and he found himself right back at the Emperor’s Wake.

“Good to see you again Mason,” It was the tundra. They were sitting beside him, so close that Mason could feel their fur on him “Are you on your way?”

“I-” Mason began and then he snarled “What are you doing in my head?”

The tundra looked back at him calmly, “You can thank our local dreamwalker for that.”

“Dreamwalker…?”

“You’ll be waking soon. I don’t have time to explain. Please come here to the Emperor’s Wake. I’ll explain everything. It’ll be much easier in person, I promise.”

Mason was about to speak when he found himself awake, sunlight danced across his room.

He began to pack his things. It didn’t take long. Being formerly dead, he didn’t have any personal belongings from his world. All he had were just a few art supplies Flare had been kind enough to give him, a simple dagger, a water canister, a few snacks and a blanket. Everything fit neatly in a bag he wrapped over his shoulder.

He trotted down the stairs from his room and into the clan lobby. He made his way to the main exit when Evan found him.

“Where are you going?” He asked, seeing the bag.

Mason sighed “The Emperor’s Wake.”

“What? Isn’t that where that monster is?”

“Yep.”

“And you want to go there?!”

“Correct.”

“Why?”

“Because that’s where the dragons in my dreams told me to go.”

“So you’re just going to listen to random dream dragons now?”

“See this is why I was trying to avoid you.”

Evan looked hurt “You were planning on leaving without telling me?”

“Because I knew this would happen! I knew you wouldn’t understand! Listen, I've been here before. I know that whoever these dragons are, they're not going to get out of my head until I do what they want me to do.”

“Hey no offense Mason but the last time you listened to some... thing in your mind you ended up hurting a kid.”

Mason snarled “He wasn’t just a kid. Don’t oversimplify what Muerto is.”

“I’m just saying, if you knew that was Match speaking to you, would you still have done the things you did?”

“Yes. Match is just another self centered god, but at least me listening to him, capturing Muerto, weakening him. Getting him to spill his dirty little secrets. At least that did something! You would have rotted away to nothing and we would have all been trapped in that horrible place until we died. I got the gods’ attention. I changed things!”

Evan took a deep breath “Ok. Yeah you’re right. But I also don’t have to like what we had to do to get where we are now. Maybe this time we can take some time to think about what we’re getting into before we have to hurt anyone?”

“We? You want to come with me?”

“I don’t like the idea of being near that monster, but I hate the idea of letting you go alone even more.”

***

Mason waited for Evan to pack his things. Like him, it wasn’t much so they were off on their journey soon enough. Evan felt bad leaving without a word so he took the time to leave a note for Nike.

The two took off and soared over the Sunbeam Ruins in the direction of the area now known as the Emperor’s Wake. Mason had a map with him to help him keep track of their journey. As he flapped his wings he noted how natural flight felt to him. It was strange to him how quickly he picked up the skill. His original body was not one designed for flight and never in a million years would he have guessed he’d eventually become a dragon. Sepulchral had taught him to fly after he had entered the Dragon Planet. Sepulchral was a good teacher, and unlike all of the other Selcouth creatures that were brought to Sornieth, Sepulchral actually had wings back in their world, making him uniquely experienced with flight. But even with such an excellent teacher, Mason felt like he shouldn’t have picked up the skill quite so quickly. It only made it more frustrating that relearning to draw was not as natural to him.

“Sorry about planning to take off without you,” Mason said after a few miles of silence.

“Hey, it's cool. No big deal,” Evan responded.

“What were you going to tell me the other day, by the way? I didn’t mean to brush you off like that. Sorry again.”

“Oh that?” Evan laughed nervously “That was nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

Mason glanced at his friend “Alright…” He thought about pushing the subject, but decided to let it go.

The two flew in silence until it got dark. They camped out in a secluded pine forest for the night and took off again when it was morning.

Their flight was uneventful until they flew over a patch of land that was scarred in an unusual way. Most of the Sunbeam Ruins were filled with rolling fields of grass and green pine trees dotted with ruins from a forgotten era. But this patch of land was blackened and dead. It was not burned like a fire found it, rather it looked like a perfect circle of the land just shriveled up and died. Below structures that were not ancient ruins were crushed and destroyed like a tornado ran through the community.

“What do you suppose happened down there?” Evan asked.

Mason shook his head “Nothing good probably. Let's keep moving.”

It wasn’t long before the land began to look more like what Mason saw in his dreams. There were tell-tale signs of destruction, but not quite like the shriveled dead land they had just passed. Mason searched the ground below him and nearly stopped mid flight. There on top of a hill covered in ruins was the same rugged tundra that had spoken to him.

Mason landed beside them with a thud and Evan landed more gracefully beside him.

“You!” Mason snarled.

The tundra smiled and waved “Mason! So good to see you in person. And oh look! You brought a friend.”

“Why were you in my head? How do you know who I am? What do you want with me?”

“Holy shit,” Evan was ignoring the tundra and instead his eyes were fixed on the horizon “It’s real.”

Mason heard a roar and looked up. There in the distance was the rampaging beast, the Emperor Luminax. It was even more horrible than it was in his dreams.

“Terrifying isn’t it?” The tundra asked, following Mason’s gaze.

“It’s just… Hard to believe it’s real.”

“I know. Seeing your first Emperor… It makes you wonder what’s real and what’s fake. But that thing is real alright. It’s destroying lives and the gods are doing nothing about it.”

Mason snorted “Yeah that sounds about right.”

“Ah, don’t like gods do you?” The tiny bug dragon from Mason’s dream landed on top of the tundra’s head “I knew this one would fit in well!”

Mason peeled his eyes away from the undead creature in the distance “Ok, no more talking until you two explain why you were in my head.”

“Ah that would be Karyu’s doing,” The tundra addressed the bug sitting on their head.

“How dare you!” Mason lunged forward to swat the bug, but they quickly flew away. Mason ended up hitting the large tundra’s antlers instead. Mason’s hand stung and the tundra glared at him.

“Maybe instead of threatening my friend, you could sit down and listen.” The tundra shoved Mason to the ground. Mason tried to get back up, but stopped when the tundra gave him another glare.

Karyu flew back onto the tundra’s head and pointed at Mason “That one tortured a kid god, so I guess I shouldn’t really be too surprised. Still, he has use here.”

Mason’s eyes widened “How did you-”

“My name is Perryn,” The tundra cut Mason off and smiled “I’m an Emperor hunter, and my friend Karyu here is a dream walker.”

“And demigod!” Once again Karyu took off from their perch on Perryn’s head. They circled in the air and as they landed they began to transform. Before Mason’s eyes the little bug dragon grew in size. They spun so fast it forced Mason to blink and with that one blink a new creature was standing where the bug disappeared. Its body was unmistakably human to Mason, but it still had some of the bug features of its dragon form. Antennae sprung up from Karyu’s head and insectoid wings from their back. They wore a long robe and their long purple hair touched the ground. They were still small, Perryn towered over them and so would have Mason if he had been standing, but they were no longer squishable.

“My mother is the goddess of dreams for this world, and lucky me, I’ve inherited some of her powers,” Karyu walked up to Mason and poked his snout. He snapped at their fingers “You have the most fascinating dreams out of everyones’ I’ve walked through. So many memories are mixed with yours. Some juicy ones too!”

“No. You didn’t.”

“It’s just a shame that lately you haven't been dreaming much. I’m guessing insomnia? Well that’s no good for me or my pals here at The Guild of Osiris! I was afraid if your sleeping patterns continued I would have lost contact with you! And that would have been a real bummer.”

“Which is why Karyu had to bring me into the picture,” Perryn said “We needed you to come here before they lost contact with you and they thought you would listen to me and not them.”

“And I was fucking right!” Karyu grinned and then leaned close to Mason and whispered “I just thought Perryn would be more your type. I’m gorgeous, I know, but I’m taken.”

Mason just stared at Karyu. He opened his mouth and then closed it like a fish out of water.

“Yes. Karyu was right!” Peryn shouted and then coughed “And now you’re here like we were hoping. Karyu has seen a lot of things about you from their dream walking ,which I know may be awkward and invasive-”

“You don’t think?” Mason found his voice for a moment.

“But Karyu has a knack for finding those who are perfect for helping our cause. Mason, is life uncertain to you? Maybe you’ll make a good Emperor Hunter.”

#tgoo #clan ton theon #tcotg

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bytedykes · 3 years

Note

for send me ship thing

klave (ha!)

i cant believe you've done this utiforuewifds

001 | send me a ship and I will tell you:

when I started shipping it if I did:

uhhhh idk i used to ship it but i don't as much now? i think i shipped them maybe like,,, a couple weeks or so after i finished watching tua s1, so somewhere late 2019 probably whjekfsdk

my thoughts:

ok i typed out like 500 words of my thoughts on klave but i know if i actually post them i'll get shanked so. uhuwehwehksjdfh klave can be good but i hate the fandom's general interpretation of it and it's kind of been ruined for me, so now the only klave content i trust is my own ✊😩 askdjfjkdsk

What makes me happy about them:

all of those no powers aus where theyre just being happy together <3 the domesticity hits hard!!! also i love klaus' "klaus loves dave" tat that is literally so 🥺🥺🥺

What makes me sad about them:

*hand waves* GHWIEJHSFIUYWEHISHDFK

ugh its so good tho. makes me sob so hard but its SO GOOD. the immediate scene when klaus appears back in 2019 with the briefcase and mary plays... UGH 👌 so cinema so makes me cry

things done in fanfic that annoys me:

oh my god mandy its like u sent me this ask specifically so i'd answer honestly and get ripped apart by the tua fandom akjjwsdkf

idk i havent read any tua fic in like a year and def not since s2 came out so. what i remember rlly pissed me off is the gross oversimplification of their personalities + the outright fetishization of them as the Token (white) Queer Ship and ok really just everything ppl usually write as far as i remember uefuihskhsd

which isnt to say i havent read good klave fic 😭 i have kadskks

things I look for in fanfic:

re: me not having read tua fic in over a year

but when i do read it i look for ppl not oversimplifying (or outright misconstruing) klaus' personality, and actually putting some thought into dave's jkkjsfd

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

nobody rip, dave is super important to klaus' growth and character development and we dont know enough about dave rn for him to have a viable love interest aside from klaus jhksds

My happily ever after for them:

DAVE LIVES,,, KLAUS BRINGS HIM TO 2019,,, THE FIRST APOCALYPSE DOESN'T HAPPEN,,, THEY LIVE TOGETHER AND HAVE A STABLE, MUTUALLY FULFILLING, LOVING RELATIONSHIP,,, also a dog :)

who is the big spoon/little spoon:

lol they switch

dave is usually the little spoon but if either of them has a nightmare or flashback it's the other way around, bc klaus needs to be held when he's vulnerable like that, and when it's dave he needs to know he is capable of protecting

what is their favorite non-sexual activity:

COOKING TOGETHER,,,, WHILE LISTENING TO MUSIC,,,, and dancing around the kitchen :)) also eating out <3

send me a ship/character/five characters [link]

#also i trust ariel's klave content <3 #MANDY I HOPE UR HAPPY 😭😩 askdjkskds #klave #tua #tua fandom crit #asks #ask game #ftag

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wenightmareyou · 3 years

Text

not to add onto that last post i reblogged even more but. im thinking about when i first started listening to panic, how i heard hurricane and was vibrating afterward bc it sounded so incredible to me and so unlike anything i’d heard before. how i went immediately to look at the youtube comments and it was full of ryden stuff bc it was 2013, of course it was. and like yeah i kept listening to panic because i genuinely loved the music, but i fell headfirst into reading everything i could about the band split, about all the fan theories, all the angry posts about ryan not making music at that time (which btw looking back on it.... god we were honestly so fucked up for that. just remembering some of the things i used to post/say about ryan is v yikes)

and like no way to get around it, i stayed for all the ryden hype and it got me into wanting to learn the lore around every other band i liked and maybe i should feel ashamed about that but i kind of... dont? because i knew that a lot of it was speculation. we had the songs and the interviews and the livejournal posts but we didnt know them and i definitely got waayy too parasocial about it but at the end of the day, i still knew we were making this story up together as a community. we were still passing on this narrative that meant something to us and made the music more personal.

which i feel like people do anyway whenever they try to contextualize a song by what they think the writer is talking about. its so natural to try to shape a story around something you love, and i definitely cringe a bit remembering the way i used to rant and rave about my chemical romance in high school. “guys, gerard started the band because he wanted to change the wooorld! he saw 9/11 happen and he *knew* he had to drop everything to start a band!” and i was probably/definitely oversimplifying and embellishing but it made it all so much more *real* to me.

idk getting back to panic, it definitely makes me wonder what my opinions would’ve been if i knew absolutely nothing, not about the split or brendon taking the name, not about the rpf conspiracies or about ryan’s post-panic projects. and i definitely learned my lesson since then, since i’d lowkey gotten to a point of near-hero worship for brendon which i didnt really snap out of until 2020 (i know, it should’ve been sooner but it wasnt). i wonder if all of that was just a product of mid-2010s bandom culture or just a product of being a teenager in the mid-2010s, and i guess i’ll never know.

#its like...i still love fob and mcr and i still love panic’s music even though ik i’ll never support brendon after all of his shit #but the love i have feels so different now #like im not going out of my way to shape some story about these bands (or any other band i like for that matter)#its just one of the theories i have for why stan culture exists #its just people trying to feel more connected to these things that are so important to them #esp w the whole sentiment of ‘x band saves my life’ etc etc #idk where im going w this! but i went on a whole stream of consciousness rant about dnp last week #on my side blog and now im just gonna keep that energy going #anyway this was super long and probably incoherent!#so if youve gotten this far thanks for reading lmao #my post #bandom #dont really wanna tag anything else tbh #in the tags #(also disclaiming now i *know* i still do some of this stuff! esp w taylor not gonna lie)#and ofc none of this is inherently bad and it meant a lot to me but it also def had an unhealthy affect on me personally

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somerpmemes · 4 years

Text

Firebringer Starters

Change as needed

“There was a time in history where no one had seen this shit before!”

“You’re oversimplifying my argument but that’s essentially what I’m saying, yeah!”

“We got work to do.”

“I don’t really wanna do the work today.”

“Don’t eat that! No one eat that!”

“The world is what we make of it together.”

“Here I thought we were headed for a good old fashioned war. God, I miss those.”

“You’re doing this on purpose!”

“Peace really is something that we make together.”

“I feel like everything you have told me my entire life is a lie!”

“How can you keep lying to people when you know the truth?”

“Don’t you see? You are better than I ever was.”

“We cannot compete with squirrels. They are smarter, faster, and better at collecting nuts than we will ever be.”

“You’re the best. I mean… nevermind.”

“Every day’s the same, nothing’s changed.”

“Is there more to life than this?”

“I don’t care where the sun goes at night, he’s an asshole!”

“Ay yo, fuck you, you don’t know what you’re talking about!”

“Progress doesn’t come from the desire to understand. No, it comes from the need to be lazy.”

“Have you ever even seen a nut?”

“I probably would’ve just kept eating it until I died.”

“You know how sometimes there’ll be a pack of coyotes feasting on a rabbit, and there’s always one, small, runt of a coyote that’s being kept from the meal? I’m like the rabbit.”

“Hard work is it’s own reward.”

“Oh fuck my fucking leg! Ow, what the fuck!”

“It is not dangerous, it’s a weapon.”

“You can’t trust me today. I’m feeling way too silly.”

“I was worried you might feel pretty stupid because, you know, you looked pretty stupid.”

“It’s not so bad letting other people think for you. I’ve been doing it my whole life. It’s awesome.”

“I can’t go on knowing that I missed out on something this big.”

“Fuck future generations.”

“That was the funny part of the joke, in case you wanted to laugh.”

“I can’t promise that you will make it back alive, but will somebody PLEASE help me?”

“I’m not afraid of anything anymore!”

“Now that was real abstract.”

“Don’t touch it, dumbass.”

“I wanted everything you had, and for you to have nothing.”

“You are all going to burn.”

“Fuck bees, I mean, they can all die, am I right?”

“I’m just worried you’re turning into a monster.”

“I guess this is what I deserve, otherwise I wouldn’t be here right now.”

“I know I’m not the bravest person, if I’d have fought I’d make things worse than before.”

“Fire’s great.”

“Oh shit it’s night.”

“I want to know how you see me.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever given anybody any reason to distrust me.”

“I don’t know too much about what’s going on here but it does look like you let a lot of people down so…”

“But now that you’re in charge and there’s no one else to blame it’s kind of like… fuck you?”

“Well, well, well, look who was wrong. You know, for a while, I thought it was me.”

“You’re the leader again! Just in time to rectify your mistake of leaving me in charge.”

“As tempting as that is, I have to say no because I kinda hate you.”

“I want to make change, but I just end up making chaos.”

“You know, sometimes chaos is good too.”

“You can’t undiscover something.”

“I’ll stab him in one eye and you stab him in another and then we’ll kind of stir his brains around like this.”

“There is no god.”

“We got a lot to do to make it work, we got a lot to do to work it out.”

#firebringer #rp #rp starters #starters #sentence starters #sentence starter meme

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thebickedwitchoftherest · 4 years

Text

Oh My God, They Were Roommates || Camille & Cece

Timing: Sometime before Jane moved in (please don’t roast me)

Location: Cece’s house

Parties: Cece & @carrionxcamille

Summary: When Camille moved in with Cece they share dinner and get to know each other.

Camille was going to owe Cece for the rest of her life, and she didn’t even care about the debt.

Once she’d chucked her pitiful backpack of belongings- yes, she still had that little stuff to her name- into the bedroom that was to be hers, Camille bolted straight to the bathroom, throwing an apology over her shoulder for how long she was about to steal the shower for. Hey, the water pressure in that motel had done absolutely nothing for her hair. When she did eventually leave the bathroom in a flourish of steam with a towel wrapped around her head she felt more at peace than she had in months. Seriously, the wonders of a good hot shower never ceased to amaze.

It was a little while after that she left her room again, in the silky new pajama set she’d treated herself too with her hair soft and shiny and actually dry, since the hairdryer here didn’t threaten to overheat if you had it on for more than five minutes.

The fun didn’t stop there though, because now Camille had a whole actual kitchen to play with. “Cece, I’m gonna make dinner!” She called out, already rummaging through the fridge for ideas- she’d have to start writing the lists for their grocery shopping, this place was lacking- “stop me if you don’t like spaghetti carbonara!” She was already starting anyway, feeling lighter and more at ease than she had in weeks. To be in a real home again really lifted her spirits.

In almost no time at all she had food set on the table- she was only sorry they didn’t have anything she could make dessert with, but ice cream would do- and was pouring a glass of white wine for each of the girls. “I’m sorry I immediately took over your shower and kitchen.” Camille said, now that some of her excitement had given way and reminded her of her manners, “I hope you like dinner, anyway. I just wanted to say thank you to you, for having me. It means a lot that you’d help me like you have.”

Cece had been laughing to herself the entire day. As sad as it was, Camille didn’t have much to move with her when Cece set off on helping her move out of that shithole motel she had been trapped in. Nothing but a few small bags that needed transferred to the first of Cece’s guest bedrooms. It had been the same one that Morgan had used after a similar situation had her moving in. Personally, Cece loved the feeling. As horribly as her own circumstances had ended up with the coven, they had still taken her in after getting kicked out of her own home. When she had nowhere else to go, they had taken her in. Obviously, Cece wasn’t about to pull some bullshit like that, but she could pay it back minus the whole culty murder part.

As Camille made herself home and found her way to the fridge, Cece gravitated over towards it and joined her, grabbing a chair at the barstool that looked into the kitchen. “Ooh, Carbonara? Now that’s fancy.” Cece would take whatever Cam was planning on cooking. Cece wasn’t a picky eater by means, and she also wasn’t much of a cook. Cece had learned a few recipes from Morgan but rarely cooked them for herself.

“Hey, feel free to cook in my kitchen any time. Especially if you’re making enough for two.” Cece held up her wine glass that Camille had poured as if in cheers, “But don’t worry. I have a full bathroom in my room. That one is all yours.” Cece didn’t waste any time digging into the food, nodding her head and giving a thumbs up after the first mouthful, “Oh this shit is bomb” Cece finally spoke after she finished chewing, digging right back in for another bite. “You don’t have to thank me. You needed a place that wasn’t a den for up and coming serial killers. I have two guest rooms. It all worked out. I’d love to know what convinced you to come here of all places.”

She was safe here, that was the other thing. It was so much easier to breathe when you couldn’t hear your vampire neighbors through the walls discussing some party, when you weren’t watching another sad looking lost soul slip through the door of the drug dealer who lived on the other side. This felt like the kind of place she could start her life again. Save up, get an ID and her own place. It would be nice to have company, too. Camille had spent so much time staring blankly at terrible wallpaper with no one to talk too. “You’re in luck, I don’t really know how to cook for just one person.” She laughed, taking a seat at the table and raising her own glass in return to Cece’s gesture.

It was a simple meal, by her standards anyway, but even Camille was blown away by how good it tasted after weeks of microwave meals and cold sandwiches. “I’m glad you like it- you’ll have to let me know if there’s anything you absolutely won’t or can’t eat, I’ll do some grocery shopping later this week.” She was looking forward to that, too. Proper food shopping. She wondered if Cece had a vegetable crisper. Camille doesn’t answer the question at first, about what convinced her to move to White Crest. She’s not the first person to ask, and she has a party line about her parents living nearby which she knew she should use right now, but…

Camille was remembering the bar, that joke that had been made about Cece hexing someone. Was she really a witch? There wasn’t anything in the house that screamed witchcraft to Cam, but then again she had no idea what sort of stuff that would really be. She ate and drank quietly for a while, considering what to say. If Cam asked outright and Cece turned out to not be a witch, to not know about or believe in any of that kind of stuff, it would be throwing a serious wrench in their dynamic just as they were getting to know eachother. No one wanted a crazy roommate, and spouting off about witches was exactly that. “My parents live nearby.” She spoke up after a while, giving Cece a bright smile and a shrug, “I’d heard about this place growing up and I figured… Well, if there was a time to live in the weird town it was now, right? If nothing else there’s always something wacky going on if I need a distraction.” Which she did, often. “What about you? Why are you in White Crest?”

Cece leaned back in her chair dramatically and patted her belly, “Don’t you worry roomie. This girl eats and and everything. I’m not picky.” Unlike her adopted parents, who both had a myriad of food allergies and dietary restrictions, her genetic parents (fuck them wherever they may be) had graced her with the appetite and taste buds to enjoy just about anything. And no allergies that she knew of to worry about. “I’m not gonna leave you completely hanging though, don’t worry. I can’t cook for shit, but I’ll make an excellent sous-chef.” She feigned cutting vegetables with her fork and then took a huge bite of pasta, “You and me are about to put MasterChef to shame.”

Cece didn’t believe the answer, not entirely. Maybe it was because of the town itself. It just didn’t seem like people picked up and moved here on a whim. They came here on purpose, or they ended up here by some supernatural unlucky twist of fate. Maybe Camille really did just want a change. If she was looking for a little excitement in her life, then maybe she did turn to the town with a weird reputation. Back in high school, when Cece was full swing into her horror movie phase she probably would have done the same exact thing. She supposed it didn’t matter at the moment, Cam had only just moved in. The two weren’t obligated to explain the truth about them being here to each other. Cece had gotten more comfortable around town, helping out when needed, but that didn’t mean she was yelling it down the streets. “Long story. My family travelled a lot. They’re like the weird living off the Earth hippy types. We travelled all over the country before I finally decided to split off and make my own path. I just so happened to be up here in the New England area, so I looked for some job postings and bought a house.” Cece shrugged. Maybe it was an oversimplified version of the truth, but that story wasn’t one that she planned on telling to anyone. “Not nearly as glamorous as it sounds, honestly. Most of the time, I miss Cali. But this place has its own charms. Can’t complain about the company. Yourself included of course. Being roommates gives you automatic rights to the bestie list. Welcome to the club.”

Camille nods, pretty happy it seems like she’ll be able to have her run of recipes in this house- she’s already running through a list of her favorite things she wants to make first. Salmon, risotto, chickpea curry, stuffed vine leaves, sunday lunch! She’d done pretty much all the meal cooking at home- jobless Jace had made do with sandwiches or leftovers most of the time for lunch while she was at work- so it would be nice to get back into the swing of it, and actually have a little help. She’d read somewhere that cooking together could be a good bonding experience. Cam chuckled, “well that’s good. I’m sure you’ll be able to learn a little if we’re cooking together, too.” And she’d pick up a couple of her old favorite recipe books to leave behind once she moved out, too.

It was also nice to have her food appreciated for once, she’d been lucky to get so much as a thankyou out of Jace. Cam ate a little more as Cece explained how she’d found herself in town, quietly a little jealous that she’d travelled and seen so much more of the country than Cam ever had. From Bangor to Boston and pretty much back again. “Sounds like it must have made for a fun childhood.” She beams when Cece refers to her as a bestie- it’s been an awful long time since Camille has had proper friends. “Happy to be a member.” She says, “I think I’ve hit a patch of good luck, considering how coincidental it was that I met you that night at the bar.” She traces a finger around the rim of her wine glass, smiling wistfully, “hopefully it means things are turning around for me.”

Cece let herself laugh, whether it came across as genuine or sarcastic one was anybody’s guess. Must have made for a fun childhood. Explaining Cece’s past, even a felony free PG version of the tale, seemed complicated. Her life had been made up of different families. Her blood family that had never wanted her. Her adopted family that turned their backs on her. Her coven family, that took advantage of her. And her life here, with some semblance of a found family being built. Far too complex to try to get into during their first dinner together. So as far as Cam knew, maybe her life travelling around the country had been a fun childhood, even if she had never actually left California until she had turned 18. “Everyday was different, I’ll tell you that. Plus it led me here, where I spent the first few months freezing my ass day in and day out.” Cece pointed towards the closet near the front door, “Seriously, you should see all the winter coats I have in there. I used to wear those around the house.”

That night had been a happy coincidence, hadn’t it? If Cece and Winn had gone to any other bar they probably wouldn’t have met each other at all. Just one of a sea of faces the two would look by as they passed each other on the street everyone once and awhile. “Fate does work in mysterious ways, I guess.” Cece wasn’t big into the idea of fate. From what she had seen, if you didn’t take control of it yourself fate had a tendency to fuck you over. “Ah right, you are here after a shitty divorce, right?” Cece vaguely remembered the conversation from that night, though admittedly Winn’s stream of drinks that he was footing the bill for had kept her pretty tipsy the entire night. “From what I remember, he sounds like a real fuckboy. So good for you, girl. You deserve a lot better.”

Adults are harder to read than kids. Even if what a kid says is confusing their tone always gives them away, because they haven’t quite figured out how to change that yet. Cece laughs, and there’s an edge to it but Camille doesn’t know what that means- did she resent her parents for dragging her around the country when she’d have rather stayed in one place? Was it not fun for her? It’s really not her place to pry, of course. Big changes to your life were not always a good thing though, she understood that. “I suppose it must be cold, compared to Cali.” Cam grins ruefully, “I’m used to it. Boston isn’t quite as cold, but near enough.” And maybe she’d borrow one or two of those coats, just to mix up wearing the same outfits over and over again.

It was no small favor, putting a roof over her head and getting her out of that motel. Camille couldn’t remember the last time someone had done something so nice for her- of course, bar telling her colleague what a terrible person Jace had actually turned out to be she couldn’t really remember telling anyone about her problems either, so maybe that was why. “Adam was a fuckboy.” Camille corrects, shaking her head and smiling a little at the memory of him- she was still shocked someone his age would even want to flirt with her, as put on as it was- “Jace was a nasty prick.” She has a sip of wine, like even saying his name makes her mouth feel bad. “So the divorce was great, it’s the marriage that was awful.” That’s half true, the divorce could have also been better, but murder isn’t exactly dinner conversation. “I mean I was dating that guy since high school, we were perfect. Seriously- that best couple superlative thing at prom? We won it.” When life was all fun and games, Jace had been the ideal partner. Charming, likeable, energetic. It was when he realized he couldn’t be the star of the football team his entire life that shit went downhill. “I don’t know what happened. Spent over a decade trying to make him happy, woke up one morning and realized I hated him.”

Camille wrinkles her nose, twirling more pasta around her fork and taking a bite before she talks again. “Sorry, don’t let me go on about it. It’s over, I’m good. New start.” She scrambles for a lighter topic, “so I know you work with Regan, but what is it that you actually do? Are you her assistant, or something?”

“It’s so fucking cold here, Cam. So. Fucking. Cold.” Even the summers had nothing on LA. Cece had been that annoying teen that spent all day on the bitch and only applied sunscreen once. Her skin wasn’t used to this lack of sunshine. It rebelled against her.

“Fair. At least Adam has a good attitude. I think he’s a himbo.” Cece nodded at herself, liking and accepting the comparison. Adam seemed like the type that respected women while wanting to bone them. Cece could respect that. This Jace dude on the other hand? Seemed like a dumpster fire personified. “Glad you had that epiphany. That freedom must feel so good after all these years. The offer still stands about fucking up his life. I love me a good revenge arch.”

Camille didn’t seem to love talking about it, and though Cece did figure she’d get the full story eventually, maybe that was a conversation for another day. Maybe after they had been roommates for a longer period of time than a few days. “Me? Regan’s assistant?” Cece rocked her head back and gave a single, loud laugh. “I couldn’t be her assistant. I’d get fired so quickly.” Cece worked for Regan, but her saving grace was that Cece did her own thing at work. “I’m a toxicologist for the medical examiner’s office. It sounds fancy, but I spend most of my day running tests on urine and blood and every other bodily fluid you can imagine. Glamorous stuff, I know.”

Camille chuckled, shaking her head. “I wouldn’t know. I haven’t travelled much. Jace and I went to Flora for spring break in classic fashion, Clearwater.” Despite herself she grins a little at the memory- it had been a good time. “I imagine this place might make you feel like an icicle after spending your whole life somewhere with that kind of heat.”

She had never been much of a gossiper, at least not about herself. It was a habit cultivated since high school- top of your class with the star of the football team on your arm? Your life is perfect and you’re the envy of every other kid there. End of story. Don’t tell your friends about the big fight you and Jace had, or how you had to stay up studying until you passed out at your desk to get that high score on the history test. The whole damn reason she worked so hard was so that people never knew that stuff. It was a lot harder to present a perfect facade these days, as a divorced woman with a shitty job, but Cam would do what she could.

Her eyebrows drew together in confusion. “A… Himbo? I don’t know what that is.” God, she was so old. She’d never had to say that before. But seriously, himbo? That wasn’t a word. Camille taught english lit! She knew all the words! Camille smirked at the offer, but shook her head. “There’s no one to pay his bills or get him beer out the fridge now, I think that’s probably gonna fuck him up enough.” That, and the fact that he was in jail for killing her. Rotten bastard. Couldn’t exactly tell Cece that, though.

Camille would admit to knowing next to nothing about science, but as an elementary school teacher she had seen the ways they tried to push young girls into softer interests, so she admired women like Regan and Cece who had pursued their passion regardless. “You have to follow what interests you.” She shrugged, “I could easily argue there’s nothing glamorous about teaching kids English lit but I loved it all the same.” It had been a good compromise; her desire to be an author and her love for children.

“There’s a certain charm in staying still, I think.” Cece admitted. Before she had been forced to leave, Cece had never had much interest in leaving LA. She liked California, liked the atmosphere and the people. Her first time leaving had been more out of necessity and the opportunity to have people help her. That had obviously gone to shit. “But I come from a place of privilege in that. I’ve been able to travel around to get to say that planting roots is better. You might think the opposite.” For what it was worth, besides the fact that her ex husband was a complete fuckwad, she didn’t seem disappointed by the memory.

“Ooh, I get to give you an english lesson? How the turns have tabled.” Cece perked up. It was cute, Cam not knowing what a himbo was. “A himbo is an evolved fuck boy. They’re still stupid, cute jocks. Muscles like a god, but a single brain cell bouncing around that empty skull.” Cece waved her finger around her head as an example, “But they’re actually good people. Himbos don’t fuck with misogyny or homophobia or racism. They mix respect women juice in with their protein shakes.” Cece interrupted her speech by stuffing pasta into her mouth. “Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.”

“Agreed. I can tell you’d be good with kids.” Camille kept a calmness about her, but had a quirkier side that Cece would have to work at pulling out. All in due time. “If you still love teaching so much, have you considered looking at the schools here? Seeing if there are any openings?”

Camille grinned and nodded- she’d had friends who’d taken off after highschool, figured out their way around the globe. Some of them came back changed with all these grand ideas and new goals for their life, others just rolled back into town with no money and no idea what to do next. She’d always figured it didn’t matter where you went, problems followed you anyway. “I always wanted to get settled somewhere myself, have a home and a family…” She trailed off sadly, unable to stop herself from remembering how hopeful she’d once been about it all. Buying that house and decorating with Jace, making plans to turn the spare room into a nursery one day. She shook herself out of the melancholy, taking a long sip from her wine glass. “I nearly went to New York for college, but decided on Boston instead.” Well, settled for. Because Jace got accepted there.

Really their elementary education programs were both wonderful, so it was fine.

She listened attentively as Cece explained the term, lips pulling up into an amused grin. “Oh, it’s a portmanteau!” Cam realized after a moment, “him and bimbo.” She nods, “I get it now. Strong and kind, but not the sharpest stick in the bunch. That’s a good one, I like it.” Had to be a term that the younger generation had coined, she wondered if Cece even realized how common of an english lit practice she’d adopted for her terminology. Cam smiles, “I’ve always liked kids.” Her good mood drops again, quickly, though. Working at a local school… Her identity, all her qualifications and achievements. They belonged to a dead woman, she couldn’t use them now. “It’s something I’ll look into, I think. When things are more settled for me.” She lied, “for the moment I just want to get used to a new town, focus on myself for a bit and what I really want for my future.” After pushing pasta around her plate for a minute Cam looks up, smiling. “What about your future? Is there a step up from a toxicologist, are you thinking about more qualifications? A PhD or something?”

Cece leaned back in her chair and tried to picture that for Camille. Cece herself had never much considered that sort of life for herself. Even back as a teenager, when her life was as normal as a girl growing up in LA could be, the idea of the white picket fence life had always been a bit too cookie cutter for Cece’s lifestyle. Now, Cece wasn’t sure she was cut out for it even if it was something she did want. Too much baggage, maybe. Or too little patience to deal with bullshit. Clearly, Camille had dealt with her fair share if she was no longer living the married life. “You’re still pretty damn young. No reason you shouldn’t be able to still have that. And this time we’ll make sure they’re not a giant bag of dicks disguised as a high school sweetheart.”

“A portman-who?” Cece questioned, eyebrow raising and a smirk crossing her lips. Cece wasn’t much for this shit, but loved Camille’s excitement about it. What an english teacher thing to do. “Yeah for sure. Let me know if I can help with anything. I have no connections to the school, but the two of us together? I bet we could charm the hell out of anyone we need.” Camille seemed to be over the conversation and promptly flipped it around back to Cece, questioning the career that Cece hadn’t given much thought to by herself. “Hmm… not where I am currently, not really. Working for a private company would probably get me more money. Or I could try to get in with the university. Write papers and teach some classes if I really wanted. I’m happy where I am though.” The idea of getting a doctorate was honestly hilarious to Cece and she couldn’t help the laugh building up before eventually bursting free, “God, no. Can you imagine? I couldn’t imagine expecting people to call me Doctor Bishop. I’m not pretentious enough.”

Camille had spent years working towards the next milestone. Graduate highschool, then college, then start the perfect life. Had it all fallen apart so spectacularly to send her a sign? Was she pushing so hard to get something she couldn’t have? There were people everywhere with happy families, and she’d put so much damn effort into having hers. Was the world mocking her? Rip it all away and send her back to square one, just to see if she does the same stupid stuff all over again.

Well, maybe she wouldn’t. Maybe she’d say sod the man and sod the family and just do whatever made her happy! If she could figure out what that was. Was it marriage and kids? Not right now. Honestly the idea of being alone in a house with a man was the last thing she wanted right now. But one day, probably. She giggled a little at Cece’s choice phrasing, “well, if I meet someone I think is charming I’ll make sure to have them screened by you just to be sure.”

“A portmanteau.” She repeated, “a blend of two words. Y’know, brunch, podcast, smog, himbo.” Cam’s glad she doesn’t mind the shift in conversation- she would like to know more about the schools here, and how she might go about getting work in them, but there was no point giving that sort of stuff any of her time until she had the essentials figured out. Would Cece know anyone who could get her an ID? Regan was staunchly against helping Camille with anything illegal, but hopefully her new friend wasn’t quite so rigid as that, and willing to keep a secret. “It’s not about pretention, it’s about qualification.” Camille argued, “a doctorate would open up a lot of opportunities, if you were interested. I don’t think it’s pretentious to value your education.” Cece was so young, and already trying to strike off paths for her future without really considering them. “If teaching ever did interest you I could offer some pointers. Though I’ve never taught a university class, my advice might be a little too juvenile.”

“I’ll happily screen any of your potential love interests. I have a rigorous testing regiment to ensure only the most worthy pass through. The others are sent away, broken of hearts and blue of balls.” Cece stated it wistfully as if she were writing it in some victorian style letter. She rested her face into the palms of her hands and stared in wonder at Camille as she defined and even provided examples of a portmanteau. “I love it when you talk literary devices to me. Very hot for teacher vibes.”

Camille seemed passionate about Cece keeping her options open for this higher education thing. Honestly, Cece had never considered a doctorate as a viable career path for her. Completing her degree while constantly travelling had been enough of a handful. Trying to deal with four more years of schooling just had not seemed possible. But Cece wasn’t a wanderer anymore. She had settled down in an area with a good job, better connections and a college close to her. It was certainly something to consider, even if it didn’t sound like much fun. “Okay mom. I’ll keep my options open.” Cece couldn’t see herself teaching younger students. Not for any specific reasons, just because her specific interests in toxicology tended to be more specialized than elementary, middle or even most high schools tended to offer. “Please, I guarantee your job was a hundred times harder than anything a college professor deals with. I’d take your advice over them anyday.”

Camille wasn’t even sure what dating was like these days. How did you meet people? There were all the apps, but that seemed so impersonal. Was she meant to go to a bar? The first and last person to sidle up to her at such a location was Adam and they’d already gone through why that was a bad idea- oh god, was White Crest like a college town? Was she even going to find any viable older men here? Must start paying more attention to the morning coffee crowd to find out. She chuckled and shook her head, “funnily enough I don’t think it’s the kind of come on that’s going to work in the real world. I’m gonna have to figure out some new moves.”

In highschool her move had just been walking right up to Jace by his locker one day and asking him if he wanted to ask her to the dance, and that had been that. Probably wasn’t the way to go about things as an adult. She sighed and stabbed her fork back into the pasta, “I’m just saying, you’re too young to be closing doors like that. You don’t have to do it right now obviously, but it might be something to consider later down the line.” Though teaching specifically was something Cam believed you should only get into if you were truly passionate about it- too many teachers did it for the wrong reasons and that was how you ended up with miserable classrooms. “Ah, true. I doubt many professors have had to explain to their students why they shouldn’t eat paper. I’d be happy to advise though, with further study and all that stuff, I do love a good excuse for a pros and cons list.” Plus helping with this kind of decision just felt like another way to balance the scales between the two of them, and Camille wanted the excuse to reminisce. She pushed her empty bowl to the side a little, “you’ll figure out what you want, anyway. You’ve got time.”

Time- how much did Camille have? What would Cece do if she found out the truth? What if someone from Boston found out, or her parents decided to visit White Crest for a weekend? “I think I’m gonna have another glass of wine.” She decided, pushing out of her chair to retrieve the bottle from the fridge, “do you want one?”

“I’ll be your wingwoman any night. Once you want to get back out there.” Cece wiggled her eyebrows, always encouraging a one night stand or two to blow off some steam. It hadn’t been Cece’s style lately, a bit of her party years getting more than enough attention while she was with the coven. But Camille had been with the same man for years, and he sounded like a bit of a prick. She could probably benefit from a few wild nights to get her mind off of things. And Cece would be a bad friend if she didn’t tag along to make sure everything went smoothly.

When Camille broke the conversation for wine, Cece was more than happy to oblige. There had been way too much talk about the future tonight. Cece was trying to live day to day here in town. Thinking about what the future could hold was way too depressing. “Please, if there’s one thing you should learn about me it’s that you never have to ask if I want more wine.” Cece laughed, downing the rest of her glass and sliding it over towards Camille for a refill. “If you remember that then you and I are going to be the best of friends.”

#wickedswriting #c: camille #chatzy: camille #omg they were roommates #we're just gonna pretend im not crazy late on posting thing

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nothingunrealistic · 4 years

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do you have any Kleinsen or deh fic recommendations? I've read most of the popular ones already, so some of the less common ones would be awesome

sure! some of these recs come from this post of mine and this post of milo’s; some are new. i’ve split them up into two sections: kleinsen and gen/other. i didn’t list more than one or two works from any particular author, but if you like a given fic, i definitely recommend checking out the author’s other work. under a cut!

kleinsen

to avoid re-reccing the most popular fics, i’ve kept it to those with under 250 kudos (as of posting this, anyway.)

you’re not the only one (who doesn’t wanna be alone tonight) by literalvampire - 27.0k, canon divergent oneshot. evan and jared decide to go to a halloween party, a decision that winds up completely changing their relationship. this fic has everything: misunderstandings and miscommunication! puns! inadvertently making people jealous! jared and alana friendship / gay solidarity! the intimacy of applying and removing someone’s makeup for them! cats, and Cats!

bake from the heart by literalvampire - 5.1k, post-canon oneshot. they’ve fought, and now they’re friends again, and to show it, jared’s helping evan (who he totally doesn’t have a crush on anymore, definitely not, no way) bake for his mom’s birthday. sweet, funny, and reclaims “cinnamon rolls” for the delicious pastry rather than oversimplified and infantilized fictional characters.

why mess up a good thing by otachi - 4.4k, post-canon oneshot. jared and evan go to a college party, to meet people and be sociable, and then decide they’d rather just go home (because oh my god, they’re roommates) and hang out together. misunderstandings and discussions of feelings ensue. great characterization, great banter, and a delightfully sweet ending.

through a window, counting birds by otachi - 4.5k, vaguely post-canon oneshot. evan and jared are just hanging out on a summer night and both quietly head over heels for one another. it’s much more about Thoughts And Feelings than about plot here, and those thoughts and feelings are perfectly on point with regards to characterization and beautifully laid out for us.

baby, be gentle (it’s my first time) by jetpacks - 8.8k, canon divergent oneshot. a 5+1 fic about the times evan and jared nearly confessed their feelings to one another, and the time they finally did. a great combination of silly teenage shenanigans & banter and desperately trying & failing to talk about feelings.

on nights so cold, i know you need some company by kkamikaze - 8.6k, post-canon / canon divergent oneshot. jared reads the letter that’s been posted online as connor’s note, figures out what it is, and immediately goes to evan to have a conversation they should have had long ago. i don’t think i’ll ever get tired of “jared reads the letter” fics, and this is a great exploration of how he might respond to that.

only fools fall for you by heklin - 7.1k, time travel au oneshot. on the first day of school, jared listens to evan’s story about falling out of a tree - and then gets sent back in time to that moment, over and over again. an exploration of the history of jared and evan’s friendship, and how jared might deal with finding out how evan really broke his arm.

watch how a cold broken teen will desperately lean on a superglued human of proof by PrinceDrew - 1.2k, soulmate au oneshot. connor, evan’s soulmate (not a typo) dies, evan falls apart, and jared is there to help evan put himself back together. deeply tragic, and probably not your thing if you can’t stand connor/evan in any form, but wonderfully written.

dear evan asshat (orphaned) - 0.8k, post-canon oneshot. after their fight, jared writes more emails to evan that he doesn’t send. one of my favorite tropes for this pairing - this fic is very short, but it packs a lot of pain in there.

Porto Ruby by captchaluff - 1.9k, pre-canon oneshot. evan goes over to jared’s house to do homework, but they end up drinking and sharing secrets instead. a really interesting look at what they might have been like in middle school, though with a less than hopeful ending.

the maroon hoodie by jamb - 4.2k, everyone lives au oneshot. all the teens are friends, and they’d all be having a great time if jared weren’t Suffering Terribly thanks to seeing evan wearing his hoodie and then trying to figure out how to date him. delightful duo of low-stakes kleinsen pining and playfully antagonistic jared & connor friendship, if that’s your bag.

have you listened to me lately? lately, i’ve been fuckin’ crazy by outlawslikeus - 1.0k, post-canon oneshot. evan’s dropped jared, and jared’s read the letter, and now jared spends his time writing emails he’ll never send. a character study of jared at his most heartbroken.

and now, for some recs of my own work, because i love attention!

love, comment, and subscribe - 6.5k, canon-compliant oneshot. takes the idea of jared’s tech inspect and extends it into a series of videos being made over the course of canon that document jared’s gradual unraveling. make sure you have “show creator style” on for this one!

futile devices - 8.3k, multichapter. a collection of prompt fics, originally posted on tumblr, with a common focus on jared and evan’s relationship and everything that tends to go unspoken between them. these cover a wide range of compliance with and divergence from canon, sometimes including the deh novel.

no comfort in the truth - 3.7k, soulmate au multichapter. specifically, it’s a spin on the “last words your soulmate ever says to you” concept, while sticking closely to the events of canon. this one is entirely will roland’s fault for saying he doesn’t think evan and jared would ever reconcile.

if you only say the word - 1.8k, canon-compliant oneshot. my own take (one of them, anyway) on Jared Reads The Letter, and one that could easily be happening in the background of the reprise of ywbf. the first thing i ever wrote (though not the first thing i published) for deh - i think it holds up still.

gen/other

most of these don’t focus on romantic relationships much or at all; since such stories generally aren’t as popular anyway, i’m not sticking closely to the 250 kudos threshold here.

Somebody To Find You by stayawake - 3.8k, canon compliant oneshot. a retelling of canon from alana’s perspective. i love alana dearly, and this does an excellent job of exploring her actions in canon, how she feels about connor’s death and others’ reactions to it, and what she might go through after posting the letter online.

feeling stupid, feeling small by nosecoffee - 2.2k, pre-canon oneshot; jared & connor, jared & evan, jared & zoe. jared is lonely, and he’s depressed, and he doesn’t feel like a person, and even hanging out with the murphys now and again won’t do much to fix that. a deeply sad look at what jared’s life, and his interactions with evan, zoe, and connor, might have been like before canon.

every sun doesn’t rise by nosecoffee - 3.5k, canon divergent oneshot; evan & connor, evan & jared. connor is dead, and now he’s a ghost, and he’d appreciate it if someone came and got his body, so he makes his way to evan to ask for help, and jared gets pulled in along the way. a downer of a fic, but morbidly funny as well.

i’ll be waiting for you until we meet again by demistories - 7.0k, soulmate au oneshot; alana & connor, evan & jared. in this au, you can talk to your soulmate (romantic or platonic) in dreams; connor’s known his soulmate for years, but he doesn’t know her name. a fun look at a connor-alana friendship, as well as connor’s possible friendships with evan, jared, and zoe in a kinder timeline.

they were kids that i once knew by PrinceDrew - 4.3k, canon divergent oneshot. evan and connor both die by suicide, though only connor’s death is recognized as such, and when a story about the two of them being best friends emerges from the public grief, jared gets lost in the middle. very well-written and deeply sad.

and mine:

the lights will arise - 3.9k, canon-compliant multichapter; alana & jared. part of the same series as if you only say the word, and examines alana’s arc during canon and how it could intersect with jared’s. all part of my agenda to 1) let alana and jared be Friends and 2) actually let us see what they’re up to during ywbf reprise.

let facts be submitted to a candid world - 11.3k, au multichapter wip (2/7 chapters); alana & jared, alana/female oc. it’s a national treasure au. alana is nicolas cage. that’s it. i have no idea if i’ll ever update this again, but you might enjoy what’s there anyway.

#inbox #anonymous #dear evan hansen #kleinsen #other people write #sometimes i write

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qui-qui-quee · 4 years

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I feel that one of the biggest frustrations for Christians in the US is that one party doesn't seem to care much for the poor and down trodden, while the other party doesn't seem to care about the unborn. Those are just two examples of how both parties seem to embrace something that is condemned by our faith. Of course I understand that this problem isn't limited to the US, and I've seen you mention similar frustrations with the government in your country.

Exactly Anon, exactly.

The problem I see with the mixing of American politics and Christianity is this overemphasis on one thing or another that might not even talked about in detail in the Scriptures beyond “do not murder, do not steal, etc.”). People end up with tunnel vision.

We tend to oversimplify things a lot when it comes to these issues. It’s why I try to stay away from the abortion debate, for example, because I find the dilemma far too complex to be able to say anything definitive beyond “murder is bad”. Because it also begs a lot more questions regarding issues such as euthanasia, assisted suicide, stuff that I as a medical student, will have to deal with over the course of my medical career. We are constantly told that we need to consider the quality of a person’s life, not just the life itself. So there’s that. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

(It isn’t limited to the US, yes, in fact we have some lawmakers here who are planning on filing a bill to legalize abortion. But because I come from a predominantly Catholic country, I reckon that won’t come to pass for awhile.)

In the end, I think Christians have a responsibility to pull themselves away from being too engrossed in political parties and reflect on who they’re really relying on. Christianity was never loyal to any one political ideology after all, since such ideologies are a product of human understanding and efforts to make sense and prioritize certain issues over another. They’re not perfect and over time we’ve come to see just how imperfect they are. Christianity, God’s kingdom was never meant to be held down or limited by concepts like capitalism or socialism or federalism or any of the sort so it actually makes me cringe when I constantly see my siblings-in-Christ complaining about such issues. For example, so what if you live in a socialist society? Does that mean your responsibility as a Christian is suddenly null and void? No, of course not. It might make things harder sure, but that’s why we have Christ with us.

I believe both parties have problems that have only come to be overemphasized over the course of the last several years and I believe it would do well for all of us to step back and ask ourselves if we are relying too much on human power to forward an ideal society based on Christian thinking and morality or maybe it’s time to pull up our bootstraps and be the salt and light that Christ commanded us to be in our own communities. Because yelling on the Internet or putting politics over everything else can only do so much and may even turn away those from wanting to know Christ. It already has.

#qooky speaks

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malwarewolf404 · 3 years

Text

[[disclaimer: I will be using the words biomale and biofemale in this post several times in an attempt to avoid confusion as to the point I’m trying to make. I do not intend to upset or alienate anyone who is intersex or does not otherwise conform to binary physical sex in any way. Thank you.]]

Let’s put together a little thought experiment. You take 100 sexually mature biomales and 100 sexually mature biofemales, both with no knowledge of society beyond this social group, and drop them on an uninhabited tropical island. They have all the resources, food and water, and even materials to make clothing and textiles not far behind from what we have in modern day, perhaps even unique ones to the culture they will eventually create.

Terfs and other denominations of trans-denialists would have you believe some very strict rules would be set up immediately. The biomales would hunt or gather, build, and perhaps begin to create the rituals or beliefs that might one day become a religion, and eventually a societal culture. The biofemales might be relegated to the role of caring for the society’s homes but perhaps not in the way one might expect (when trying to view this thought experiment through the lense of someone who has some particularly backwards ideas about womanhood being equated to the ownership of a uterus that is.) Perhaps terfs would have some more progressive ideas regarding the role of the biofemales, and sure, a matriachal society in which biofemales are responsible for the creation of societal culture isn’t at all outside the realm of possibility by any regards. In the spirit of trying to frame this argument as something a particularly progressive Terf might come up with, let’s say this is the case. Biofemales are the owners of family names and all social status, and biomales are relegated to the duties of cleaning, maintaining, and providing for the settlement.

Now before I actually make my argument, I will say I’m no terf at all. I am not a biofemale person who believes transwomen are rapists invading female-exclusive spaces like wlw. I can only imagine what a terf would come up with when presented with the thought experiment, and because I cannot be fucking bothered to interact with a terf on the issues of gender and biological sex (oh god could you fucking imagine.) That said, I believe I understand the perspective and beliefs of a person with that sort of mindset enough to construct this imaginary facsimile of the thought experiment from a terf’s perspective. Or, maybe I’m dead wrong, in which case I’m sure they’ll tell me. Just gonna quickly address them here:

Hello eager, anticipatory terfs! I’m sure you all have been waiting with bated breath for a post like the first bit of this one to come along so that you can reply in all sorts of flowery ad hominem language, saying things like “I hope you die in a fire you dickless pig-fucker!” Or, even better “Of course this pitiful excuse for a MALE would just LOVE to come up with his own approximation of what we, FEMALES, must be thinking!” I can assure you right now though, I’m not going to reply to any comments like that. I know that’s probably a real turn off for you, probably nixed any motivation to even keep reading this post, I understand. That said, this first part of the argument doesn’t matter, I only included it so that I might have some sort of control to weigh against my own imagination of the thought experiment. Additionally, I reached out to my three sisters about the ideas that a terf truscum person might have about the thought experiment. Here are their responses.

Buddy it’s 4 in the morning in California I can’t fucking read a three page paper this early.

What the fuck? Why would I want to put myself in the headspace of a trans-exclusionist? Why are you even asking me this? What is this for? What the fuck bro.

What’s a terf

Not as enlightening as I had hoped sadly. Anyways, I want to emplore you, please continue to read. I have a lot to say about this imaginary society and what I believe their ideas about gender conformity says about us. I think you might actually see some things in a different light than our incredibly polarized and entrenched societal beliefs would have you observe the issue. If that sounds like something that interests you, please read on.

So, this society. 100 biomales and 100 biofemales. And what do I believe it would look like? Well, I’ll tell you, but first I want to touch on a separate aspect than those I covered in my facsimile of a “terf” island society, and that’s sexuality. The reason I didn’t bring it up at all is because the fact is, many terfs are gay or bisexual women. They are real people with their own feelings and damage and ideas about what it means to be wlw. While I may have momentarily felt only slightly uncomfortable creating the idea of a “terf” island society and talking about its concepts of gender identity and social expectations placed on our imaginary island refugees completely in a vaccuum with no real input from actual women, being a wlw is not an issue I can even begin to comprehend, much less create my own ideas of what an idealized island society would look like to a wlw. It was a bridge too far, and I will not speak over real women with real opinions about what that is like. In fact, if you do identify as a woman (trans or not,) please feel free to share your own input on how you feel my facsimile “terf” scenario might be improved/ammended.

With all that said, let me say that I am now choosing to bring sexuality to the court because I am a gay man/nb person, and can speak to my own experiences and the experiences of others I know about sexuality. Additionally, from a terf’s perspective, the gender identity issue is one irreversibly entwined with sexuality.

So, a society with 100 biomales and 100 biofemales. What would it look like to me? Well, firstly, I don’t think the society would be so divided by gender as the imaginary terfs (or for that matter, most traditional people cough cough) would have you believe. Anyone who’s been to a public highschool knows that BOTH males and females are athletic. Both sexes are creative. Both sexes are capable of being responsible and loving parents. The problem we encouter with trying to frame everything into “men do this women do that” categories is that that is what our traditions and society have programmed us into believing is the norm. This society has none of that programming. Because of this, I do not believe this society would devolve into such a simplistic and arbitrary culture as “you have a penis so you go hunt and gather.” Instead, why not imagine a society where people’s individual talents and skills take precedence over their sex in regards to what role they are able to fulfill in this society? Perhaps you are a biomale, yet you have a very nurturing and caring instinct. Why not serve as a midwife and care for the village’s infants? Perhaps you are a biofemale, but are very athletic. Perhaps then, you would best serve the society as a hunter, no? I think you get what I’m getting at, and I don’t think anyone, even terfs, would disagree with me that gendered societal roles are a pretty dated concept that does not line up with what we understand of real people living in situations like this. They are a biproduct of western civilization’s traditions, and are not at all the norm in dozens of non-western societies.

So, if we can agree that there most likely wouldn’t be overarching end all be all gender roles in society, where is the issue exactly? Well, it’s this: some members of our society do not fall into the traditional gender roles associated with their biological sex. So, what about in this society, where there are no meticulously well-rooted gender roles? It stands to reason that without these gender roles, people would be able to do what they wanted, dress how they wanted, love who they wanted, free of prejudice or judgement. Obviously I am GREATLY oversimplifying a very complex issue, but live with me in the bit for a moment. What would you be in a world free from discrimination on the basis of biological sex, gender, or sexuality. There would be no traditions saying “you can’t do this because you’re this.” Who would you become? Who would you have the boldness and the freedom to be? Now, a pre-agricultural society that hasn’t even developed traditions or laws is hardly the most desirable place to imagine oneself living, but just think for a moment. No glass ceiling. No homophobic. No oppression on the basis of sex.

Now, I already have a good idea of what people are going to say about this post. “Tearing down the borders of gender and sexuality would only render our understanding of LGBTQIA ideas completely useless.” “There ARE certain things males are more inclined to do than women, biologically speaking. R*pe seems to come to mind.” “By refusing to give your imagined society any gender roles you have essentially made a moot point about what it means to be trans in our society.” Perhaps more broadly, “this thought experiment is dumb and you should feel bad.”

But here’s the thing. I’m not making this post in hopes of “dunkin’ on terfs” or even really challenging anyone’s opinions on anything. I have absolutely no hope that this dumb, worthless, ~3,000 word thought experiment will do any of that, let alone get any amount of notes. I only wanted to talk about this to put my own mind at ease in imagining a world I, a casual non-binary person, could exist without having to justify or prove myself as non-binary. I could, in my imaginary society, simply be myself. I could look up at stars. I could talk to gods of the wind on stillwater, of the sunlight through the palm fronds, and of the moonlight’s pale glow on the sand. I could do all of these things without constantly being percieved as a man because of the way I presented or behaved. And, I could find a masculine partner to be with, free of judgement.

“But Malwarewolf!” You cry, pleadingly. “What about all the people born as one sex that wish to transition into another sex? They would have no way of doing that in this imaginary society!! As a trans person, I do not experience the same satisfaction you do in this concept!”

This is, perhaps, the biggest hole in my argument. However, just because a person is born as one sex and wishes to transition in a relatively (oh, how do I say this without offending a lot of people,) quaint society doesn’t mean they’re just damned to live in a state of dysphoria or unhappiness with their body. I would argue, they might be able to live happier lives than trans people in our society do, existing as a fully welcomed and accepted member of society, with no oppression or suppression of their very valid desires to exist as they opposite sex. I would further argue that in a society without the proper foreknowledge and tools to perform gender-reassignment surgery, individuals who might identify as “trans” in our society would instead be free to express themselves however they wanted to instead of having to adopt a particular appearance or sex-identifying features to adhere to their non-existent gender roles. This is, very possibly, how the polynesian “third genders” came to be, such as Māhū in Hawaii and Tahiti, Fakaleiti in Tongan peoples, and Fa’afafine in Samoa. Now, these third genders are very important to many polynesian cultures and have very specific spiritual and societal roles in the island’s cultures respectively, the extent of which I am no way qualified to speak about (but would absolutely LOVE if some native Hawaiians could weigh in on!) It should be noted however, that a Māhū person can be born either male or female.

I say all of this to say, gender is a highly complex and winding topic. I could go on waxing poetic about my day-dream life in this idyllic society, but if you’ve made it this far in the post, you’ve probably had enough of that. Thank you so much for reading this far into a fucking hypothetical concept of all things. I will close by saying unironically, I’m gay as fuck, trans rights are human rights, and lastly trans-exclusionists if I see you bullying people in the comments I will suplex you through a plywood board.

I love you all and have a wonderful day.

#i have no fucking idea what to tag this as #rant?#gender politics #trans rights #anti-terf #LGBT #LGBTQIA #LGBTQIA+#LGBTQ #Yeah that’s about all I can think of right now

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