#don’t get too attached
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Part 3 - Breaking Away
After the assault on the company building, and our subsequent defence thereof, Koivana never looked at me the same way again. Despite her assurances that I fought well and ultimately protected the place, I couldn’t ignore the suspicion in her eyes. Was it that slashing technique? Did it remind her of the very Garleans those invading stragglers claim to be?
“But that shouldn’t be possible”, I thought. “I was using an ordinary shortsword”, I thought. “How could this be anything more than my own aether, magic no different from her own barrier?”
I realised that I couldn’t stay here. I’d more than outlived my welcome. And the longer I left it, the harder it would be for me to ignore Shelke’s strange attachment to me. Harder to strike out on my own. Harder for me to find whatever it is that’s calling me eastward.
So, in the depths of night, I left; with nothing but a stolen Adders uniform, what change I could carry, the sword I wielded before, and some partly-signed documents for me by Koivana. I swore to handle the rest.
As I left, keeping to the shadows, I spied a woman of imposing figure approaching in a hurry. If it weren’t for the ears, I’d have taken her for a Roegadyn. She all but broke into a sprint upon seeing the state of the gate and the abandoned husk of a Reaper outside, in a panic for someone.
I could not look at her longer without becoming dizzy. I suppose that was the Sviette I’ve heard so much about. A shame I’ll never meet her.
I caught wind of a large scale operation in Gyr Abania, and thus snuck aboard a military vessel from Gridania. Perfect. Otherwise I might have lacked the means of crossing Baelsar’s Wall.
I thought I’d keep to myself. I thought I’d get away with shunning soldiers. All I’d have to do was stick to my part. Follow their orders as best I could, and avoid them out of it. Many were resting before the storm anyway.
…I didn’t know why I felt so comfortable before what was essentially a warzone. I didn’t know why I felt prepared. I didn’t want to question the hours, months and years of physical and combat drills bleeding in from the recesses of my mind. I just wanted to sleep…
Until…
"Hey, Hey Kid! C'mon, it's time we hightail it to the other airship, looks like the Adders got tired of us stickin' about, guess they just can't stand good looks, eh?"
A tall but lean man with a distinctive blue, half-face paint jostles me awake, winking towards me. If I had to guess, he's a mercenary of some kind, My expression must have incited some kind of response, as he preemptively answered:
“Huh? Oh yeah- The companies are all working together on alliance business.. So much so they went an' outsourced half the fuckin' guys around here.. Some guy called Harrison on the transport could hardly keep their feet together so I doubt they're lookin' real deep on who they're hirin'.."
The man seems to cough before continuing:
"Just stick close is all, they don't seem to give a shit about what happens to us, but hey, pay's decent right?"
Wearily I nodded along, his words largely a blur. Part of me wondered if he knew I wasn’t much different from that “Harrison” fellow, or himself. A sellsword. A fake soldier.
No matter. Sticking with him as long as I could would help me get closer, and hopefully stay alive long enough for answers.
((This time with a new cameo! Elaboration to come. Note that I’ll be skipping some scheduled posts until after the holidays to avoid being miserable.))
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RETURN TO MONKE (PUBERTY EDITION)
MK’s monkey form doesn’t feel right to me so i wanted to break up his transformation into stages. Maybe as he learns to accept that side of himself it becomes part of him, instead of changing between human and monkey randomly (which is probably painful). Love yourself, NOW!!!
@zymstarz im tagging you for FULL MONKE
#ALSO BECAUSE. THAT BOY NEEDS A NOSE#i like the idea of MK constantly flashing between his monkey and human forms as some sort of internal conflict or identity crisis#and he can’t hold his monkey form for very long soo. I’m going to put way too much thought into it and say its some sort of repression#also I made the hair on the sides of his face more attached or growing on the cheeks so it kind of frames it#maybe it’s because his design is so top heavy on his head and that’s why the sideburns feel wrong to me#like it’s fine with Swk and macaque because their hair is more like a tuft. but MKs hair is longer it just feels less balanced shape wise#I also don’t see his tail being very strong right off the bat because it’s. a new limb so the muscle has to be underdeveloped imo#I’m still a firm believer in the face mark XP system though. that is his Minecraft experience bar fight me#ALSO ALSO going back to him flashing between human and monkey. I just like this idea because to complement that idea of identity crisis#like think about it. if he comes to accept this new part of himself he doesn’t have to decide between one or the other I guess? like he#gets used to exploring this part of his identity. also it’s like Pokémon evolution lol#my art#myart#doodles#lego monkie kid#lmk#monkie kid#lmk season 4 spoilers#lmk s4 spoilers#lmk season 4#lmk s4#lmk MK#lmk xiaotian#lego monkie kid fanart#lmk fanart
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link’s house in hateno village never fails to make me overly emotional bc wtf do you mean there’s an apple tree and a stable, and just down the path there’s a little pond to fish in??
#i rlly love this house man#it’s just so quaint and nice#like yeah let him be calm. let him have a nice little home in a nice little town.#let him live just a few minutes away from purah#let him have his apple tree#the thought of link sitting down everyday and having a meal while the beloved weapons of his fallen friends surround him is too much for me#and don’t even get me started on how it’s implied/canon that that was his childhood home#and he saved it. he saved his home. he saved a part of his past.#screaming into the void#do you think zelda saw the house and was like ‘link. link omg’ bc maybe She knew it was his old home#maybe my emotional attachment to the house in hateno village says something abt me#botw#breath of the wild#botw link#link botw#loz#legend of zelda breath of the wild#legend of zelda
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holding the diamond dogs in my palm. oh how i love you all
#mgs#mgsv#venom snake#revolver ocelot#kazuhira miller#quiet mgsv#my art#By the way? don’t get attached to those headcanons. i’m certainly not#v and kaz and quiet could be lesbians to me too#ocelot is transmasc here but i could make him transfem too#in fact i thought about transmasc quiet just now#none of this is bible none of this is law. i do what i fucking want#and if yew don’t like my conflicting hcs… pick up a pen and draw em yourself#🫶🏽❤️
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One thing about Dr. Daniel Cain is that he’s gonna be positively shit at his job
#That’s not how you do fucking cpr#How the fuck are you off midline at a point where he is presumed to be revered by his colleagues#What the fuck do you mean you got emotionally attached to your patient how do you even have the fucking time#All we see Dan’s patients do is fucking die#we don’t even get to see a close case no if you’re assigned Dan just write your fucking will now#The again a conventionally attractive friendly white guy getting way too much praise for a job he isn’t good at seems par for the course#I’m just saying say what you want about Herbert West but the man is a professional#Realistically with his perfectionism and god complex he probably will not afford himself the ability to not be a good doctor#Like neither is exactly a good choice since I’ll probably be graverobbed if things go south#But my chances of being in a grave to be robbed would increase greatly with Dan#reanimator#dan cain#herbert west#bride of reanimator#dan Cain Please get better at your job lives are at stake
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Leia had to not only feel everyone on Alderaan die but then be put in a cell and wait for the man she begged to come help them all Once More and then she finally sees him for one last time. And watches him die.
Yeah I’d immediately trauma bond with the smugglers and a sand idiot too.
#star wars#ben kenobi#leia organa#people talk about Leia’s trauma with Alderaan and Luke’s with Ben#but they don’t really talk about Leia getting the next trauma on top when the closest man to her parents dies next#because she asked him to come there#yeah I’d attach myself to them all too.
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When Kazuki watches Rei and Miri from the park bench and starts reminiscing about the life he almost had, I lost it.
“At the end of the day, I just wasn’t cut out for it.”
YES YOU WERE! ITS RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!!!
#I think this scene really shows kazuki’s fear in getting too attached to people and moments#i don’t even think he’s making the connection either#but subconsciously something about seeing rei and miri interact in this moment and in this setting reminds him of SOMETHING!#LOOK AT HIS EYES! he needs a hug so bad :(#i lost it here. I literally screamed because the irony is too good#the things you only catch on the rewatch…#keeping the buddy daddies friday alive by rewatching but this time im taking notes#buddy daddies#kazurei#riz rambles:bd
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#byler#stranger things#willel twins#willel literal twins#@ mike:#it’s not your fault they’re identical!#the too much yellow is so sick#like we get it ok you don’t have to keep pointing it out 😭#if el wasn’t will’s twin…#I really don’t think Mike would have been so drawn to her honestly 😭#not only was Will missing#but his lookalike showed up#and ppl were telling him he was in love with her…#Mike attached himself as a way of coping with the trauma#then Will came back#and mike mourned el after feeling like he used her and inadvertently caused her death#then she came back#and he brokedown#and then he bottled it all up#and he’s been bottled up ever since#‘I never really unpacked’#unpack the trauma kid
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poyt 5 is such a fucking rollercoaster, y’all! like i feel like people may not like it bc it’s so all over the place and it reads more like a book than a chapter 😭😭 in the sense that there isn’t just a beginning - middle - climax - end. It’s more like, a bazillion ups and downs, about three climaxes, three very emotional and poignant scenes (although I guess the main heart-wrenching scene is the big one in the middle, and then there’s a lot of mini heart-wrenches) and then there’s also a bit of comedic stuff which we haven’t seen in the other poyt parts, and some heavy romance stuff and revelation stuff, of course the main biggest climax, and then the ending and then the epilogue…
I guess I’m saying all this bc I feel like people will get bored halfway through bc it’s so super long 😭😭😭😭 I’m so so so anxious about people losing interest bc poyt 5 is very different structure wise 😭😭 I just threw EVERYTHING in without caution and now I’m editing and it’s like… some scenes are way too long but then I don’t want to cut anything, I feel like everything is so important to the story!!! And I keep thinking back to poyt 4 to reassure myself, bc it was 22k words long but I remember some of you saying that it didn’t FEEL like 22k words bc it went by quickly! I JUST HOPE y’all feel the same way about poyt 5😭
#god I’m so fuckign nervous about this you’d think I’m writing a bestselling novel or smth 😭#but no it’s just my silly little Steve Rogers fic 😭😭 which I am so attached to and I don’t want anything to go wrong#I’m already so scared bc half the poyt fanbase has vanished 😭#like they’ve left tumblr or some have even unfollowed me bc they didn’t like my views on chris musty evans#which is like fair but YALL USED TO LEAVE SUCH DETAILED REVIEWS on the other chapters#I hope this last chapter gets detailed reviews too bc it’s so long jsjsjsjsk and the finale!!!#also remember my 💙 anon they used to leave the most detailed reviews and I miss them 😔😔😔#anyways#my thoughts 💭
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Dick Grayson, age nine, looking up at Clark with blue eyes that promise death warning, “Batman’s best friend is Robin. Not Superman.”
#leo says shit#dick grayson#batman#dc robin#superman#superbat shippers who think Clark knowing the kids as Robin is a good thing do not understand#dick *almost* came home from college but decided to leave again because Bruce was spending too much time with Talia#Jason spent more than TEN issues working with Harvey Bullock because Bruce was giving Selina too much attention#they are only children and orphans who do NOT like having to share their dad#dude could barely raise two children at a time#dick had already left before Jason came Jason already died when Tim came#with Cass he had Barbara to co-parent with Damian he ‘died’ immediately#when Duke lived with Bruce Damian wasn’t around now that Damian lives with Bruce again Duke is off with his cousin#what was I even saying?#oh yeah#dick would be defensive of his dad because he has attachment issues due to watching his parents die in front of him#obviously if superbat did happen they’d work through it and dick would love his stepdad but I don’t think everything start off peachy keen#although dick and Clark do get along well for like 500 issues straight during World’s Finest so maybe I’m stupid
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THEY ARRIVED ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و ♡
#they have very fluffy magnetic tails that can attach and detach#they also came with these really cute pins shaped like bottle caps#LITERALLY SO HAPPY THEY LOOK JUST AS ADVERTISED 😭#sat on buying these so far long#bc I know sometimes they don’t come out looking like the pics at all#honestly contemplated for a couple of months#but I caved#NO RAGRETS#snatched them up before they were out of stock HEHEHE#I’m about to browse fits for them RAHHH#was initially splitting the pair with someone else#bc they only wanted Dazai#but then they got them and they’re like#can I also keep Chuuya he’s too cute#and I was like girl…I’m not even mad I get u fr 😭#my Chuuya merch album#skk
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Part 2 - The Pull, The Cross
The days went by swiftly as I recovered, with Koivana educating me on the Echo. For what it’s worth, I didn’t have another incident; at most having dizzy spells around Shelke; though my memory was still a fog. Occasionally, I felt Koivana and Shelke staring at my back, just below my neck. As it turns out, I seemed to have something tattooed there.
“It’s hard to make out with how your shoulder looks. Maybe we’re missing a letter, but… …Roxy? Roxy! Is that your name? Roxy Saty?”
At first I shake my head, but I can’t help but smile. It definitely doesn’t feel like my name, but hearing it from her eases my heart. Roxy it is.
While troubled by my lingering loss of memory, Koivana’s diagnosis - as well as that of visiting conjurers - confirmed that at the very least, I had capacity; if not before, then moving forwards.
In no time, despite my evident lack of real, known skills, I found myself helping around the guild and hostel. There were many things Koivana kept close at hand. Things she couldn’t tell me. And for the better part of a moon, I never once had another one of her supposed Echo visions. All I knew was that something drew me eastward, and I couldn’t explain what it was.
Part of me wanted to stay. To keep Shelke company. I felt warm. I felt a longing to protect her that wasn’t my own. I wanted to meet this “Sviette” woman, whom she looks up to.
Yet, inexorably, I wanted to follow that vision East; to Gyr Abania. To where the liberation of Ala Mhigo from the Garlean Empire took place.
I hadn’t told Koivana, but the woman I saw was leading imperial soldiers. Her armour, too, was Imperial Magitek. And in some ways, I saw things from her perspective.
“Are you quite ready to go? You don’t have much in the way of coin, and to be frank… I don’t think you’ll get this much doing what you’ve done here.”
I nodded.
“I know. And thank you for your kindness. So please, Koivana; please understand that I can’t keep burdening you like this.”
Shelke looked at me, with eyes welling with tears. I couldn’t bear to look her in the eye as I turned to leave, with what meager belongings I’d accumulated here.
As I went to leave the door, a loud bang filled the air and the door flew off its hinges, back towards me, hurling me to the floor and scattering my bundle of belongings.
Armoured figures stormed into the room, with many more just outside. I flinched at first. I recognised that make of armour; that in a similar style to those from my vision. These however, seemed different. The designs looked newer, yet the quality was somehow patchwork, and poorly maintained. And while armed and in stance, the group looked extremely disorganised.
Despite their Garlean arms, armour, and hastily barked commands, it was readily apparent that these were no soldiers; much less the efficient conquest machine that was the empire, going by Koivana’s tales of woe, and what little I imagined.
…Who were these rank amateurs?
“[Seize the girl! She’ll make excellent bait to lure out the bunny bitch!]”
By reflex, I respond.
“[Hey assholes! Don’t go worrying about long ears while I’M here!]”
Koivana glares at me. It doesn’t immediately click that I was speaking the intruders’ language.
“[I can-] I can explain?”
Koivana shakes her head.
“Calm yourself. It’s another sign of the Echo, I reckon. But get back before you get yourself killed.”
She grabbed a spear hidden nearby; for a supposedly retired soldier, she was shockingly prepared. Her lancework, likewise, was nothing to scoff at. Still, even I could tell; there was little chance of her fending off everyone at once, on her own.
I stood back, guiding Shelke to safety as best I could; but Koivana was pressed ever further back towards us.
As though by reflex, I closed the door behind me, momentarily putting it between Shelke and harm. I dove behind where I saw that Koivana’s spear was kept, fortunate to find a number of side arms. With no time to choose, I pulled forth the first weapon that felt right in my hands; a shortsword.
When I charged at my foes, the rational part of my mind screamed in protest. “Don’t do this!” “You can’t possibly help!” “You don’t even know what you’re doing!”
Yet, in the heat of battle, I wasn’t merely swinging blindly. I wasn’t a match for Koivana’s skill for sure; but between the two of us, we managed to press the opposition out to the front garden.
…And then I saw it. Clunking clumsily towards the building. A hulking bipedal mass of imperial design;; and despite its damaged state, by no means harmless or vulnerable. The front facade split open like a gaping maw, with a ceruleum cannon within readying to fire. A machine I felt far too familiar with; an Imperial Magitek Reaper.
In the moment, Koivana and I froze. Koivana raises her spear like some magical staff, concentrating hard, as my mind races to find a solution, to no avail.
I felt faint. Nauseated.
The world seemed to upend itself, and my head felt like it might split in two. The sound of a heartbeat fills my mind as agony shoots up my spine like it had only once before.
…But rather than a glimpse of someone else’s past, I simply heard a voice. My own voice. Bereft of emotion, of fear or anguish.
“[Initiating O;^’’&8L. Error: Partial Activation Failure.]”
At that moment, I knew what I had to do.
My blade arced once, then twice in front of me; an excessive motion for sure. My fingers seemed to pull at the trigger of a firearm that wasn’t there, and through some force beyond my reckoning; perhaps my own aether, perhaps something else, blue flames sprung to life in the arcs traced by my blade.
The Reaper’s cannon fired.
The blue flames raced forwards.
I leap backwards, shielding my eyes from the bright flash, as Koivana’s magicks enveloped us.
By the time my eyes adjusted, there was a smoking crater beyond the now-warped gates, and the Magitek reaper collapsed, disabled. Whatever I managed to do seemed to have hit the barrel right at the moment of launch, causing a heavy misfire.
“[Wait. Was that..?]”
“[Never you mind! We lost Magpie! Retreat!]”
The soldiers yelled Garlean profanities as they made their escape, disengaging. Their panicked screaming was drowned out by tinnitus in my ears from the explosion.
I stood proudly, before collapsing from exhaustion.
((Once again, cameo from @feelingkoii ‘s Captain!
As for the apparent Garlean remnants who have it out for Miss-not-appearing-in-this-drama, note that they’re post-imperial and not affiliated with the Telopheroi. Consider them the self-proclaimed “Liberatio Exercitus Garlemald”. …and are about as capable as Team Rocket.))
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its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously
#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to#im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but#because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of#exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something#and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh#and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing#because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant#even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still#its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn….#if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about#I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird#maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel#a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t#I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to#be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol#idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week#had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting#yapping#does this count as vent#vent#Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly
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Don’t fuck with us Schmitty fans theres like 5 of us with him as our favorite host and we will spontaneously combust the second he says something fatherly
#sorry fellow schmitty fans but i assume y’all are like me#in how you get way too easily attached to father figure type comfort characters#do not ask me about yesterday where i played ydkj 6 and he was nice to me and even said some comforting stuff#my heart exploded#josh schmitty schmitstinstein#schmitty#random#ydkj#you don’t know jack#jackbox games#quiplash
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ok imma ask again, I’m scared to eventually see the answer…but WHERE TF IS CODY?!
#the more the episodes go by and the less and less we don’t even get a mention of him#I GET FCKN SCARED#I’m too damn attached my bestie my beloved Cody#pls bring him home safely plsss#the bad batch#star wars#commander cody#nobie does stuff#cody
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Having both Daniel and Carlos as your favourite drivers is a lot like getting punched in the face repeatedly with a brick and tossed into the ocean, getting up only to be stabbed in the back by Fred Vasseur in a chicken costume.
#I need to choose drivers who don’t get fucked over by their teams#unfortunately I’m already emotionally attached to these ones#daniel ricciardo#carlos sainz#if I think about it for too long#i’m gonna start crying#this is simply the worst#the WORST#I just got over the Daniel heartbreak of 2022#and now they hit me with THIS??#Fred vasseur count your fucking days#tiny French man#f1
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