When they're doomed by the narrative and have literally 1 (ONE!!) happy scene together 🤭

19 Years Later... [Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader x reader miniseries]

19 years have passed since Y/n’s husband Anakin’s death, and she has become the leading General of the newly founded Rebellion alongside her past Jedi friend Obi-Wan Kenobi, now known as Ben Kenobi. When her children Luke and Leia Skywalker gets kidnapped by Darth Vader, the man who killed her husband; her and Obi-Wan Kenobi must come rescue her. But when she finds out who’s behind Darth Vader’s mask, the truth is something she never thought she had to prepare herself for.

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i’m so freaking excited for this fanfic, holy shit. i’ve had this idea since April 2020 and i decided to say fuck it since you guys seemed interested. i hope you enjoy it!!! get ready for an angst and sex train, cause it’s coming in hot 🥵 😏

Index:

prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2 [Coming soon]

Warnings: None

WC: 1.3k

——————

People say love is a forever thing. But for Y/n and Anakin Skywalker, their time together was cut short the day Darth Vader murdered Anakin almost 20 years ago on Mustafar.

Y/n remembered the day so vividly - it was the scariest, saddest, and all the same happiest day of her life. It was the day her twin children, Luke and Leia Skywalker, were born; and it was also the day the love of her life was killed.

Y/n didn’t remember much of that, between the two events. According to Obi-Wan Kenobi, he had said that Anakin was behind the attacks at the Jedi Temple, and the man behind the murder of countless Jedi. Y/n couldn’t bring herself that the man she was married to could do such a horrible, despicable act.

She didn’t believe it until she saw first hand his anger - the way his voice changed, how cold his gaze had become. He tried to sugarcoat his villainous words to her, speaking gently, “Obi-Wan is trying to turn you against me.”

But when he had noticed Obi-Wan was on the ship alongside Y/n, Anakin lost all sense of reality and tried killing her.

The last memory she had of seeing her future husband was tainted with fear - the sight of him angrily raising his fingers to choke his lover.

When she awoke, she felt her body give in and start to writhe from excruciating labor pains. The pain she felt throughout her back and belly, however, were nothing in comparison to the never-ending ache in her heart that started when Obi-Wan muttered the words, “Anakin is dead.”

Barely able to cling to life, Y/n was able to deliver two healthy children, whom she had named Luke and Leia. Obi held her hand gently, smiling testy eyed, “Anakin would be so happy to see his little family. I promise I’m here to support and protect the three of you.”

Tears from pain and sorrow streamed down her cheeks as she cradled Leia close to her breast, sobbing as her body shook.

He should be here. I should be squeezing his hand, not Obi’s. He should be holding his son, not Obi. I shouldn’t be a widow.

When she found out the truth about how Anakin died, she was even more torn apart. Anakin didn’t even get a chance to explain his actions at the Temple - he was murdered by a man named Darth Vader before he could repent. She lost her husband to a murderous sith lord.

Obi-Wan took it upon himself to take care of Y/n, Luke, and Leia and got them a home on Tattooine. He knew that Y/n was never good on her own - even though she was a Jedi, she hated being alone. So he stayed with them, helping her raise Luke and Leia with just the two of them.

Knowing they were a target from Darth Vader, Obi-Wan knew that they’d had to change their names. He changed his to Ben Kenobi, a nickname an old lover gave him; and Y/n changed her name to Cecelia Jonas, a drastic difference from Y/n Skywalker. When it was just them, they would refer to each other as their old names for old time’s sake.

Raising twins without their biological father was very, very hard. There were many nights Luke or Leia would ask about their beloved late father, causing her to get teary-eyed remembering.

Nights when Luke would play around with the droids, speaking with C3-PO and laughing reminded Obi and Y/n of Anakin.

Having a son who looked just like a young version of Anakin was no help to her healing heart. Yet, no matter what she swore to never remarry — her heart belonged to Anakin Skywalker, and Anakin Skywalker alone.

By now, it was 19 years since Anakin had died. The Galactic Empire was rising, and the Rebels rose in contradiction, hoping to defend the Galaxy.

Meanwhile, Darth Vader stormed around his Death Star ship in an angry stance, slicing anyone who dared to comment on his more-so than normal angry aura.

He crossed his arms, looking outside the Death Star, “What do you mean you lost the plans?” His breathing labored and heavy as usual. The mask wasn’t even needed for him — the cocky bastard just wanted to come off as more intimidating.

“Someone... someone had sold the plans. And now General Jonas-“

Vader grunted and raised his fist, beginning to force choke the man mercilessly, “Find me who sold the plans and bring them to me. I want their death slow and painful. And find me General Jonas, I want to have a chat with them.”

The man’s eye’s rolled back as his vision blackened, then he collapsed onto the floor, gasping for air.

Vader strutted off, his signature Skywalker strut all the more prominent and powerful enveloped in his robotic suit of armor.

Ever since his fall, Vader had one thing on his mind. Completing out his Master’s will so he would finally teach him how to bring people back from the dead.

Vader reached his quarters and shut the door, locking it using the force with a simple flick of his wrist. He begrudgingly walked to the bathroom, slamming the door shut and hunched over the sink, his breathing getting more rapid until the noise irritated him to let out a yell in anger.

He took off his black mask in frustration and slammed it down on the countertop, his hands gripping it’s sides so tightly he felt his flesh hand feel numb. He looked up in the mirror, his ear-length brown hair dampened down with sweat as he looked at himself in the mirror.

“Who the hell even are you,” he grumbled to himself, running his gloved fingers through his hair. He sighed heavily and shook his head, the memory of her gasping for air replaying in his mind as his anger grew, “It’s my fault. It’s my fucking fault you and our child are dead!” he yelled to no in but himself, tears beginning to prick his yellow eyes.

With shaky hands, he dipped into his pocket and took out the necklace he crafted for her all those years ago, smiling sadly down at it as he rubbed it with his thumb.

“This is all for you, my love bird. All of it, so I can bring you home to me.” His voice trailed as he kissed the necklace, putting it back in his pocket gently as he let out a heavy sigh, wiping his tears quickly.

Vader thrived on pain now. Once he found out his wife was killed by his own hand, he lost all sense of himself. Anakin died when he knelt and took Darth Vader’s name, but Anakin truly died the moment Palpatine uttered those words.

“It seems, in your anger, you killed her.”

“Shit husband I was,” he growled, putting his glove back up on his flesh hand after he glared at his wedding band.

It gave him a mixed feeling - he missed his wife dearly, but yet it was also a deadly reminder how much of a horrible man he was.

The separated couple went to bed in tears that night, wishing and praying that somehow, someway they could be reunited.

But the both of them knew the only way that would happen is if they died, which was out of the question.

So they laid there awake in agony, their heart crying out to be reunited with their lover once more.

How about something with suitless Vader? Honestly I find dark Anakin with yellow eyes very attractive (even more than Jedi Ani!)🚶‍♀️

ooooh girl me 2

gun to my head, it’s Jedi Ani. but holy shiiittt sith anakin,,,,

At nineteen, you married Anakin Skywalker. That’s where our story begins. 

You were a Jedi, just like him. You were made a knight too early, so that you could fight in the Clone Wars, just like him. The two of you walked through life side by side, from the moment you met. 

And so, you forged a bond in the Force. 

It wasn’t strong. You couldn’t communicate thoughts, and certainly couldn’t transport matter. But you could feel each other’s presence, you could feel the other’s emotion. 

It was a tool, and you used it, both in your marriage and on the battlefield. Like no other Jedi you were a team, rivalled by no one. 

Such a bond allowed Anakin a disturbing vision. 

He would wake up in the dead of night, hearing you scream. He felt the grief deep in his stomach, and even through the haze of sleep knew what it meant- he knew that you were meant to die. 

He confided this fear to Chancellor Palpatine, who took advantage of it. You know the rest- his fall to the dark side in order to keep you safe. 

The moment Anakin sliced off Mace Windu’s arm, you fell to the ground in the middle of a battle. Your legs couldn’t hold you- there was pain throughout your body, so intense, so deep, you could barely move. It forced all of your muscles to lock and tighten, as though you were subconsciously trying to force it away. You curled up, and when your will failed, you began to scream. You feared you’d never stop. 

It was pain, anguish, horror. Grief and sadness and rage. All of them, so tangled up underneath your ribcage, and you held your fist against it. You didn’t know what it meant, it was too violent to make sense of, and you couldn’t much focus anyway. 

Luckily, Obi-Wan was there. He got you to safety, and you curled up in a bed in a ship. 

For weeks, you just tried to survive. The pain never ebbed, in fact, it got worse, but slowly you were going numb. You had escaped to Tatooine with Obi-Wan after the Clones turned on the Jedi, and he let you be. Your pain combined with your grief, for Anakin had been killed- you couldn’t imagine what had taken him down. You just had to hope it wasn’t Rex. 

Not far from Anakin’s family’s home, you lumbered around with phantom pains, barely eating, never sleeping. The intensity of it had become your normal, eyelids always heavy, muscles always locked. 

You trembled with every step, and your lips were constantly bleeding, from when you’d bitten and been unable to let go. There was a line of scar tissue bisecting each palm, where your nails had ripped them open, again and again. You lost weight, rarely eating, and so looking so sickly, your muscle still toned from constant tensing standing out underneath paled, tight skin. It wasn’t a good look, and so you’d stopped looking in the mirror, not wanting to see the ghost of a Jedi, the one who hadn’t even tried to help in the final days of the Clone Wars, the one whose skin had sunken in around their eyes and cheeks.

“Have you gotten any better?” Obi-Wan asked, bringing you a meal. You were watching the binary sunrise, trying to meditate- it was how you spent a lot of your time, now, fists clenched under your chin, biceps tight, but your mind as clear as it could be. You tried to reach out to Anakin through the Force, hoping your husband could give you even the slightest bit of encouragement, and to the Jedi who’d been lost, and even to Shmi. It never worked. You had to assume that the grief and rage coiling in your stomach kept you barred from the Force.

“No,” you replied dryly, opening your eyes. “I don’t think it’s ever going to let up. Not until I die.” 

“Or Vader dies,” Obi-Wan said, a small smile on his face as though he was joking. 

But what in the world did that mean?

“Why would Vader have anything to do with this?” You asked, and though you couldn’t see it, you suddenly sensed Obi-Wan begin to feel anxiety. 

“I- He doesn’t. I meant that his death might bring you a little reprieve, him being a Sith and all.” 

“No,” you said, slowly rising to your feet, your fists held at your side, but now there was suspicion in your voice to match them. “You meant, somehow, that all of this is connected to Vader. Like this is-” Your words dropped off, as you considered what it could have meant. 

You had a Force connection with Anakin. Obi-Wan carelessly joked that this pain had to do with Vader, which would mean you had a connection with Vader. 

Which would mean that Anakin was Vader. 

“You told me Anakin was dead,” you growled, and now all of the rage in your stomach felt your own. “You told me you watched him die!” 

It all made sense. Obi-Wan taking you away, never looking back. The time you spent on Mustafar, curled up on the floor of his ship, not knowing what he was doing. The way the pain got worse as time went on. His choice to bring you to Tatooine, where Anakin was born, where his mother died, where he would never willingly return to.

“He is!” Obi-Wan insisted, taking a step back. “Anakin Skywalker is dead!”

“No!” you shouted, and reached out, calling your saber to you. You hadn’t used the Force in so long. “He’s alive! And all this time, all this grief I’ve been feeling- he was grieving for me!” You shoved back Obi-Wan, to the door of his home. “How could you keep this from me?” The pain was familiar, and now, it was all your own. 

“Y/N, wait!” By the time Obi-Wan caught you, you’d stolen his ship. 

Now knowing exactly what you felt, you could open yourself to it. Sure, it hurt, it made the pain so much worse, but only by opening yourself to the anguish would you begin to feel Anakin behind it. 

For the first time, you started to sort through it all. 

Anger. Fear. Hatred. Grief. Sadness. And all of it- all of it was because Obi-Wan had kept you from him. Obi-Wan had known Anakin was alive, and he didn’t tell you. He didn’t trust you enough, didn’t trust Anakin enough, to let you meet. It was all Obi-Wan’s fault that you’d become so ill, that you’d been in this much pain for this long. He kept you weak. Anakin probably didn’t even know you were alive!

Returning to like Coruscant was like returning home. It had been so long since you’d seen the beautiful, sparkling skyline as it stretched on towards the horizon under a golden sky. You touched down your ship onto the Senate’s landing platform, and strapped your saber to your waist before stepping outside. 

A droid was there to greet you. 

“What’s your name?” The stupid tube of wires asked, and you turned your face toward it with a glare. Your head hung low, and your breaths were irregular, forced out with the tensing of your diaphragm as you moved through waves of anguish that haunted your every step. 

“I’m (F/N) (L/N),” you said, “And you will tell Lord Vader that I am here to see him.” 

“Uh, I don’t think I-” the droid got no further before you ignited your saber and bisected it with all the contempt of a General of the Clone Wars. You turned to the next droid, voice even more commanding, even more angry.

“You will tell Lord Vader that I am here to see him.” Thoroughly threatened, this droid did as you asked. 

You stood on the landing platform, waiting, and the longer you waited, the more it hurt. The more it got to you. You started curling, as you always did, pressing your forearms into your stomach, your spine hunching over. 

And then it disappeared. 

It took you a moment to realize the way the pain vanished, your muscles so tight, so you slowly uncurled, more confused than relieved. You looked at your hands, and shifted your legs, not having felt this light, this free, since... since you’d seen Anakin last. Did that mean...?

You looked up to where the droid had disappeared to, and there he was. 

“Anakin.” Your voice was soft, in a way you hadn’t heard it in a long time. Suddenly you had all of the grace and lightness you’d once been proud of, and you ran to him, jumping into his arms. He caught you, like he always does, and spun you as he lowered you, and the hug was so tight, you’d never let go. You curled your fingers into his robes, and he surrounded you in them, enveloped you, his flesh hand bringing his fingers into your hair. You held his neck like it held your life, keeping him as close to you as you could. 

“You’re alive,” he whispered into your neck, sounding emotional. You probed into him and felt it, too, pure relief and happiness invading the Force anywhere near him. And after weeks of nothing but pain, it was sweet like nothing else in the galaxy. 

“You’re alive,” you responded, pressing your whole body deeper into him. “I thought- Obi-Wan told me-”

“Obi-Wan wants to destroy us,” Anakin said, cutting you off. “He ambushed me on Mustafar and tried to kill me.” He pulled his chest away just far enough to press his forehead to yours. “I’m sorry you had to survive being with him. If I had known- I’m so sorry.”

“You couldn’t feel me?” You had felt his pain so clearly, even if you hadn’t known it was his. Why couldn’t he feel yours?

“No, I...” he lowered his head to kiss you, briefly, and you chased his mouth as he left. Like you were teenagers hiding in the hallway of the Jedi temple, you tried to speak in between the kisses, in the moments where you repositioned or pulled away to breathe. “I must’ve-” he lifted you up, holding you against him, hands pressing and holding all over you before moving on, as though he were checking that every bit of you was still there. “I must’ve been too focused on my own grief.” You pulled away for just a moment, cupping his face. 

“It’s okay,” you breathed, “I’m here now. We’re here- we’re okay.” Only now did you notice the gold in his eyes, but it complemented the way he looked at you, and you sank back down into another kiss. 

He took you inside, and you couldn’t be damned to notice anywhere he carried you. You just rested your body on top of him, pressing your lips to his neck every once in a while, feeling content like you hadn’t since... probably since you were married, before the Clone Wars began. 

Wherever he’d taken you seemed to be his home, based on the way the bed was unmade. He always left the sheets scattered. He sat, setting you into his lap, and you once again let your hands come to his face, your fingers slipping into his hair, your thumb running over his scar, staring into golden eyes. You missed the blue- but the gold made you shiver. He cupped your face to match, and you pressed your cheekbone into his flesh hand. 

“What happened to you?” He asked, rubbing his thumbs along the dark skin under your eyes. 

“I haven’t been sleeping,” you admitted, letting out a breath. 

“I don’t blame you,” he said with a small smile, “Obi-Wan hovering over you, and all. Luckily-” With a twist of his hips he tossed you onto the bed, and followed, crawling over you, caging you in with his arms. “We’ve got a bed right here.” 

Laying on your back, you looked up at him, and this view was so familiar, it ached deep in you to see it again. The corner of your mouth turned up in a smirk. 

“Are you actually going to let me sleep?” His eyes flicked over you for a moment, considering. 

“No, I don’t think so.” 

~~~

With Anakin by your side again, you regained your strength. With you strength, you began training. With your training came anger, with anger came rage.

You’d been left to waste away for nearly a month, because Obi-Wan was too afraid of Anakin. Afraid of you! He feared what you could become if you returned to your husband, and he was right to. You, like Anakin, felt more powerful than you ever had before. With you alive, and by his side, he felt no anguish, you felt no pain, and so you could jump higher, strike faster, the Force flowed through you like wind, guiding you toward a mountaintop. Your saber skills were stronger than they’d ever been, you were faster, your focus clearer. 

And your latest focus had been one Emperor Palpatine. 

He was... a character, that’s for sure. You didn’t hold malice toward him, not the way you did Obi-Wan, but his choices in the past certainly were questionable. Maybe he needed to get into power, and maybe he needed to start a trade war to do it, but he certainly didn’t need to put Padme in danger. 

You had a number of small grievances with him, but there was one major issue. 

He sat in a throne clearly meant for Anakin. 

Anakin was the chosen one, meant to bring balance, and he had. Anakin had ended the war when he destroyed the Separatists and he’d brought down the oppressive, misguided Jedi order. Anakin was the most powerful Force user in the galaxy, it was plain to see. Palpatine was just a manipulative politician who hadn’t realized the full extent of the Sith teachings- that the master was meant to die. The student was meant to kill. If anyone was meant to rule the galaxy, it was Anakin! He was meant to bring balance, and had learned from the dark and the light side of the Force. That was certainly more than Palpatine could claim!

You’d spent your time around politicians. You knew how they think. You’d spent time around Sith, and knew what they valued. 

Which made Palpatine was easy to read. 

“You want to kill me,” you stated, one night, when you’d gotten him alone.

“My friend-”

“You know that I’m the one thing that keeps you from controlling Anakin completely.” Sidious didn’t respond, knowing he was caught. “And you need to control him, because you know he could destroy you, if he wanted to.” 

“That’s fine, I respect that,” you said, a nonchalant shrug to your shoulders. Anakin’s pain had been such a raw, burning feeling, for so long, that nothing affected you anymore. “Just know that if he knows you’re involved in my death at all, he’ll turn against you. Know that I won’t die without a fight- and the louder a fuss I make, the less he’ll trust you.” You turned from him without being excused, and approached the door, stopping within its frame to add one more thing.

“He’s smarter than you give him credit for,” you said, a threat in your tone. 

Palpatine had told Anakin that you were dead, that day. So now, he knew that Sidious was willing to lie to him. 

Anakin doesn’t take to deceit very nicely.

So, not long after the very nice conversation you had with Sidious, the throne and title of Emperor belonged to Anakin Skywalker, Emperor Vader. 

The details of how such a change happened don’t matter to much. Palpatine was very old, you see, he’d lived quite a long and successful life...

The grandest achievement of it, of course, the Galactic Empire, was passed on to his once-pupil to rule as he saw fit. 

And damn, did it look good on him. 

-🦌 Roe

The New Apprentice Part 8

Maul x Sith!reader 

Word Count: 2k

A/N: Yall it has been a God damn week I'll tell you that. So sorry it has taken me so long to get this out. Fair warning, had to do some already known stuffs to move the story along the timeline and I just wasn't feeling it while writing, but it's important to the timeliness nonetheless.

WARNINGS: 18+ P in V sex, unprotected sex, Canon violence. Kinda angsty at the end? Idk.

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       The following morning you awoke alone in your tent. The cool morning air aiding to shake the fog from your mind as you thought of the previous night. A smile twitched on your lips that was soon replaced with a heavy eye roll. One of your pant legs had been torn up the seam by the medic who worked on you. Shrugging, you ripped off the tattered fabric and did the same to the other to match. Sliding on your now short one piece you pulled on your boots, hung your sabers from your hips and left your little shelter.

    You knew why Maul left; he didn't want anyone to think the two of you were involved until the situation was less vulnerable. You were thankful he waited until you were asleep before he absconded into the darkness. Maker, you had to stop thinking about it lest you rile yourself up again. It was time to go to work, continue to prove to your master that you deserved to be at his side. That he needed you there.

    You were relieved that Savage followed behind you a few minutes later. At least you weren't the last one up. Pre and Maul strode through the camp with you and Savage following closely behind.

"We will need an army if we are to successfully take back Mandalore." Your master rumbled.

"The people will support us once we remind them who they are." Pre retorted.

"Perhaps... but the Black Suns will be able to provide us with resources beneath the attention of the Republic."

"They're a crime syndicate!"

"Yes, and a powerful one that will lead to our victory. We have but one chance to pull this off."

      Boarding a Mandalorian starship with your Master and Savage was quiet. You had decided to keep your mouth shut and revel in Maul's ability to command and scheme. You stood at Savage's side with your hands clasped behind your back, back straight and chin high. Your weapons dangled dangerously at your hips. Every so often a Mandalorian would look at you curiously through their visor to which you responded the same every time. You gazed into their black where their unseen eyes lay behind, unblinking with a straight lip and an air of importance until they turned away. Savage quirked a lip slightly every time.

When you were alone he rumbled quietly.

"You make them uneasy. Much more than I do I think."

"I hardly doubt that my friend." Your voice soft and cold in the off chance someone could hear you.

"Possibly... they fear us."

"Good. Then they will stay in line under Lord Maul. A warrior should never show fear. They may be strong but they've shown a vital weakness we will exploit in time if necessary."

    Maul was the only one within ear shot and he silently listened to your words. Although he didn't show it at the time externally, his chest swelled in pride.

    After landing on Mustafar they were greeted with a battalion led by a tall Falleen male by the name of Vigo Ziton Maj. He chuckled when your master harshly requested an audience but he led Maul, Savage, Pre Vizsla and yourself inside the fortress anyway.

    Five more men sat at a long black table upon your entrance. When demanded that they join you, you were met with exclamations of amusement and they attempted to call for your deaths.

    Without hesitation you and Savage each tossed a spinning lightsaber in their direction. Effectively beheading each and every one of the leaders in single mirrored motions. After seeing first handedly that denial of an alliance would lead to death, Moj, the next in line to lead agreed to join your cause without hesitation.

    The Pykes practically handed themselves over to you once news about the Black Suns had reached their ears. The offer of their alliance was a grateful surprise to you. Recognizing the slow shift in universal power only spurred your attraction to your master. Visions of you riding his throbbing cock permeated your mind and drifted to his.

    On the ride to Nal Hutta these thoughts only grew in intensity as your sinful need grew. It had been days since he had last touched you and although you maintained an outward composure, your mind reeled. With only a few hours until your arrival, Maul strode past you, pausing momentarily to give you a knowing glance and ever so slight nod of his head. You waited a minute before following his force signature until a supply closet door hissed open. He grabbed you almost violently, pulling you within the small enclosure. He listened to be sure you weren't followed before he turned to you.

"My my what devious thoughts you project little one." He cooed as he pulled you into his embrace. With your back to his chest, he lowered his face into the crook of your neck, planting gentle wet kisses to your sensitive skin and lightly nipping at your ear. You took his hand and covered your mouth to stifle a whimper as he ground his hardening cock into your rear. You could feel the heat of your core as his velvety voice hummed in the ear he was toying with.

"Now, I'd much rather take my time with you but it seems you need some tension released. I'll need you clear headed on this venture. I believe the Hutt Clan will give us the most trouble in forming an alliance. Would you like my help my sweet little apprentice?"

    You nodded fervently, tears pricking the corners of your eyes as he slid your one piece down until it pooled on the floor. He bent you over infinitesimally, just enough to grant him entrance. He prodded his hot, firm erection against your folds letting out a silent groan feeling how wet you already were.

"God's I've hardly touched you and your soaking wet you naughty little girl."

    Without warning he slipping inside you, biting one of his fingers to keep from crying out. He thrusted into at a brutal pace, sinking to his hilt with every rut. It didn't take long before you were fluttering around him and tears streamed down your cheeks.

"Maker, you're going to cum for me.. I can feel it... Let go my dear. Cum all over my cock."

    The command he soothed had you unraveling faster than you thought possible. The excitement of the risk at being found out only encouraged your orgasm. Still shaking from the aftershocks, your master bit your shoulder as he throbbed and filled you.

    You hastily cleaned yourself, getting ready to leave before you were caught but Maul grabbed your wrist and brought you back into an embrace. Gently pressing his forehead to yours and wrapping his arms around you.

"Soon you'll be at my side at all times my dear. Would you like that?" His glowing amber eyes meeting yours.

"Yes Master, of course."

    You pressed your lips to his and trying to calm your flush you left the small enclosure with newfound resolve undoubtedly spurred by your bliss.

       Maul had been correct as usual. The Hutts were in fact quite resistant. After hearing that they wouldn't be paid and that the deal was an alliance for their lives, five bounty hunters and the whole guard rushed the room. Desperate for some leverage you deflected the barrage of incoming blaster fire along with your master while leading them slowly out to the landing platform.

Finally, she's good for something you thought as Bo Katan fired rockets into the fortress, effectively killing most of the guard.

    You gave chase back into the fortress and fought the remaining bounty hunters. Unwillingly admitting that they were giving you more trouble than you would've hoped. Darting away from a purple woman with orange hair you kicked a dog off of your master while the bounty hunters made their retreat. Maul was convinced that they wouldn't be a further threat so you let them escape with their lives and empty pockets.

    You ended up having to travel to the gods awful desert planet of Tatooine for Jabba to finally agree to your terms.

       Back on Zanbar you and Savage shared a meal while Maul oversaw the organization of the troops and mixed crime syndicates.

"You seem restless." Savage noted.

"Duuuh." You exasperated. "All this planning and waiting and organizing. Ugh, I wanna go fuck shit up. We've been so busy with the boring shit I haven't even had time to train. Aside from that bounty hunter scuffle."

"Worry not little one, you'll be terrorizing the Mandalorians planet side with everyone soon enough." You scoffed at his response to which he cocked his brow.

"No, I'm not. Master wants me in the shadows. Something about the people recognizing me later on being a problem with his grand scheme."

"He has a habit of only telling half of a truth. Trust comes slowly to him. You know this." You sighed, pushing away your plate and pinching the bridge of your nose.

"Yes, I'm well aware. More so than he would like I'm sure."

"He cares very deeply for you."

"And I him but all this sitting around will get me nowhere. I told you about what happened on Malachor... for the first time since I've joined you two it feels like my feet are taking me some where I'm not supposed to go... it's been weeks and the only thing I've learned in that time frame is how to take his cock in secret, away from prying eyes."

    Savage nearly choked and also disregarded his food and sat looking at you with a pained look in his eyes.

"What will you do then?"

"Honestly? I haven't the faintest idea. All I know is that I'm supposed to 'extinguish the fear but always remember that 'the shadow cannot exist without the light' whatever the fuck that's supposed to mean."

"If you don't know what it means how do you know you're on the wrong path?" You paused at his question.

"Jedi and Sith both always say to trust in the force... I need to meditate on this."

    Savage nodded as you stood from your seat walking back towards your tent. Your master was a strong force user and ever since that night you two had opened up your minds to one another, truly lay bare before the other, it was damn near impossible to keep him out. When you passed him and Vizsla you had known they couldn't hear your conversation but the way that his eyes followed you. A specific crease in his brow. You had no doubt it had anything to do with Vizsla's ramblings, you realized he probably felt your conflict.

    Disappearing into your canvas enclosure you tried to push the thought of your lover, no, your master; down and away from the forefront of your mind. Gods above though, he was your lover. You loved him, so much. What if he was guiding you away from the place you needed to go? Everything felt right before you allied with the Death Watch. The weeks you spent training and traveling to Malachor felt right. But this, this felt like it was his path not yours. If your destinies didn’t cross would he abandon his to join you? Could you abandon yours to join him? You knelt in the center of your tent and straightened your back, closing your eyes. Allowing your mind to rest, allow the wild eradications to still and drift away. This was important. This was your destiny. You suddenly realized why, although you'd never admit it, the Jedi forbid attachments in their freakish cult.

A Different Hope

Chapter 3 - Anakin and Padme

Vader came out of his room in the morning. He was usually the first to wake up, but today it seemed like Leia was already awake. She did not pay attention to him entering the living room as she was focused on a recording that was being played by a blue astromech. The contents of the recording were mostly blocked by Leia, sitting in front of it while she was watching it over and over again. Vader, stepped closer, now able to see over her shoulder exactly what she was watching.

He saw the recording was of his wedding day, when him and Padme became one finally, when they both pledged their lives and souls to one another. He saw Lake Como again and the balcony where he kissed Padme for the first time. He hated being reminded of the good parts of his life, but he tried to keep his anger at bay. The truth was he missed Padme greatly and it has been fourteen years since he's seen her outside his dreams. He watched in silence as Anakin took Padme's hand as carefully as possible and how she pressed her lips to his again now that they were husband and wife.

It took him a second to come back to reality and figure out what was going on. Leia had R2-D2 playing the recording of his and Padme's wedding for her.

"That astromech is not yours. You are not supposed to have access to the data on there!" He crossed his arms over his chest, scolding her. Leia was so immersed into the wedding that his robotic-like voice startled her, causing her to jump.

"That is my droid!" She stood up, placing herself in from of R2-D2 as if to protect him from Vader. "I don't need protection right now. You can wait outside if you have a problem with me watching my parents' wedding." Leia ranted, looking up at him defiantly.

Vader fell silent for a second. "Her parents?" He thought to himself. "It can't be. Padme died on Mustafar and our child died with her."

"This cannot be true!" He growled. "I do not have time for your games, Your Highness. You are lying!" He frowned under his mask, feeling rage pouring throughout his body. Was she lying? She had to be. Otherwise everything he knew for the last fourteen years was a lie. A lie that kept him a slave to yet another monster.

"How dare you? I'm not lying!" Leia almost shouted as she was just as angry as Vader now. "You say it cannot be true because you killed them, didn't you, Lord Vader?" She looked at him again with that same defiant look, but her brows furrowed in anger. "My parents went to your domain on Mustafar and you're the reason they're both dead!"

"Yes. I killed them." He admitted. "Your father was weak and your mother should have not followed him. Maybe she would have still been alive."

"I hate you!" Leia's fists hit his chest plate, taking him by surprise and causing him to step back slightly as she kept hitting him. "You fucking monster, you took them from me!" She cried.

"How is it possible that you are alive? Your mother died on Mustafar too before you were born." Vader asked, ignoring her futile assault on his armor. "Tell me now, Princess!" He demanded.

Leia stopped hitting him, but she was growing more angry when she heard his demands. How was it that he dared to ask about her mother after everything he did to her and to her parents? He must be truly heartless to demand such a thing from her. She decided to reveal what happened to her mother, only to make sure he knew her mother was strong enough to have survived his wretched planet.

"She didn't die on Mustafar. She was rescued and taken to the medical facility on Polis Massa. That's where she died." Leia took deep breaths as she spoke between tears. She was crying, but she was still trying her best to seem strong in front of him. Despite her face being wet with tears, she still somewhat held her composure.

He listened carefully to her words. Polis Massa. That's where he had to go. He was sure Leia would not miss him if he left and he could not delay leaving any second more. "You will have to stay inside until I return. I do not have time for this today." He finally spoke, before taking his leave and making straight for his ship.

-- Chapter 4 - The Ghosts of Polis Massa

He landed at the medical bay on Polis Massa. The place was now abandoned and the entire medical center was a ruin of what it once was. Vader made his way inside, into what looked like a maternity ward. The entire room was all but entirely destroyed. He tried to access the data on the computers but there was nothing to be found. Everything had been wiped away. He growled in anger and slammed his fists against the terminal, leaving large dents in it.

He stood in place, looking around for a while as his eye was caught by a Chroon-Tan B-Machine, a midwife droid. Vader knelt in front of the droid, trying to access its memory bank. He was good with droids, he always has been. Even now, he still had a knack for fixing them.

A recording of Padme lying on one of the now discarded beds appeared in front of him, projected by the droid. Vader brought his hand up to her face in the recording, getting it as close to her without distorting the image.

"Padme." He whispered as he was watching the last moments of her life. He desperately wished he could have been there. He thought that maybe there was something he could have done to save her, but the thought that maybe he would have ended up hurting her even more.

He heard the voice of his wife as the recording continued.

"There's good in him... I know... I know there's still..." Padme spoke, her voice soft even as she was struggling to get her last words out.

"Padme..." Vader whispered again, his voice filled with pain. He started crying, sobbing. Seeing her die was already too much, but hearing her words... Hearing her last thoughts were about him and that she still believed in him, in Anakin, that was more painful than anything he had ever felt.

"I'm so sorry, Padme." He cried, kneeling down on the ground of the deserted facility.

"Ani..." Her voice started again, but not from the recording. The sound of her voice came from behind him. Vader tried to stand up quickly, his vision blurry from his tears staining his lenses and his eyes still stinging from crying.

Before he had a chance to turn, Padme appeared in front of him. She was exactly the same as he remembered her, but there was an ethereal glow about her. Her hair was cascading into long, loose curls. Small, white, star-like flowers were adoring her hair. She was wearing a long flowy blue dress and the japoor snippet that Anakin had carved for her all those years ago was hanging from her neck, laying against her chest.

"I've forgiven you a long time ago, Anakin." Padme reached her hands out to him and touched his face. Although he was wearing his mask, he could feel her hands slip right through it and make contact with his skin.

"How is this possible? How are you here?" He closed his eyes, his entire body relaxing at her gentle touch. He held his hand out, trying to touch her as well, but instead of making contact, his fingers passed through her as if she was just a hologram. "You're not here." He sighed at the realization. She was just a ghost of his wife. Padme was not back to him, she was still very much beyond his reach.

"You are right about Leia." Padme stepped closer to him, wrapping her arms around him to close the space between them. He could feel her touches and he could feel the warmth of her body onto his, but he was unable to touch her back. It was cruel in a way, but he could at least feel her and that had to be enough. "She is our daughter. I named her Leia as you suggested. Remember that night on Coruscant when we stayed up trying to come up with names?" She smiled as she spoke.

"Yes. I remember it." He nodded with a small smile as the memories of that night came back to him.

They were both ready for bed. He was sitting up on the bed and Padme was sitting between his legs, her back turned to him as he was playing with her hair, trying to braid it.

"I've just combed my hair." Padme laughed as she could feel him getting her hair tangled again.

"I'm making it better. Just give me a second." He said, pressing his lips on her shoulder.

"Is that what you're doing?"

"That's exactly what I'm doing." Anakin nodded. He stuck his tongue out, concentrating on the task at hand. He worked carefully, weaving the strands of her hair into a loose braid. "Done." Anakin pressed a kiss against the back of her head before Padme brought her hand back, feeling over her braid.

"Maybe I should have you doing my hair from now on." She only half joked.

"I would like nothing more." Anakin rested his chin on her shoulder, wrapping his arms around her and resting them over her stomach. "I'm so happy for our baby." He brushed his lips over her shoulder again, placing small kisses against her skin.

Padme traced her fingertips over Anakin's hands. She was looking down at her rather large baby bump and at her husband's hands covering it. "Sola said we should have already had names picked for the baby."

"Did she?" He continued kissing over her shoulder, moving closer to her neck. "Are there any names you like?" He spoke against her skin, sending shivers down her body.

"I haven't really thought about it. I like names with L. They'll fit well with Skywalker." She suggested, entwining her fingers with his. "Luke, for a boy. Luke Skywalker sounds rather good, don't you think?" She smiled when she spoke their child's name.

"I like the sound of that." He nodded, leaning forward and kissing her cheek. "The only problem is that we're having a girl." He smiled, kissing her cheek again as he saw her eyebrows raising.

"You don't know that." Padme laughed.

"Mm, I do. I've felt the way she kicks. Definitely a girl." He placed a kiss behind her ear. "I like the name Leia. I find it so beautiful for some reason and I guess Leia Skywalker doesn't sound too bad either."

"It's perfect." Padme replied, turning her face to meet his lips and kissing her husband. "I guess that is settled now and Sola can be happy again." She joked before Anakin kissed her lips again.

As the memory faded, Vader was still in Padme's embrace and she placed one hand onto the side of his face. "Take care of our daughter, Ani. Make sure she knows we both love her so much." Padme stroke his face gently. "Just as much as we love each other."

Padme's image faded away, but he could still feel her touch lingering on his skin. He stood still for a while, not wanting the moment to end completely just yet, but he knew he had to return to Coruscant sooner than later.

"Leia." Vader called her name and the teen raised her brows in surprise at hearing her name uttered by him.

"Oh you're back?" She did not turn to look at him. "I have to say I enjoyed not having to listen to you for the last few days."

"I went to Polis Massa. Where you were born. Where my wife died." His words made Leia stand up and turn towards him. Her heart was almost jumping out of her chest hearing him refer to her mother as his wife. "I saw her there. I am your father, Leia. You are my daughter."

"I'm not your daughter!" Leia denied. "My father was Anakin Skywalker and you are not him! He was a good man." Leia said angrily. "How dare you say something like that? That my mother would ever love a monster such as yourself? That I could be related to this?" She gestured at all of him. "You are not my father and you will never be that. Bail Organa is the only father I have right now." Leia turned to leave, but she was interrupted by an Imperial Guard.

"Emperor Palpatine requests both of you to his throne room right now." He informed. Leia looked up at Vader and then back ahead as they both started following the Guard.

--

Chapter 1 - Her Eyes / Chapter 2 - Dreams

Chapter 5 - The End / Chapter 6 - Twin Suns

You are someone else, I am still right here, by DarkIsRising

Thanks to @treescape for the prompt: Vaderwan: “Kill my feelings, kill my soul. Kill everything I am.”

Mature themes, dark, a little violent... Oh, boy, it’s baby’s first Vaderwan y’all! Read here or on ao3 

You are someone else, I am still right here

If ever there was a time for a well-executed escape, it would be right about now.

Now, when Obi-Wan is sitting on the cold, durasteel slab that serves as a cot, the kick of the regurgitated air supply coming through a vent too small to pass through and too high to attempt with his injuries (and maybe in his younger days he would have attempted it anyway, but he’s feeling too worn down by sands and suns to so much as make it an idle thought).

Now, when he can hear the echoing tread of regulation boots made heavier by body armor as troopers pass by his cell (and if he closes his eyes it’s almost like he’s back on the Negotiator, his men walking through the halls, and he tries not to think of how many could very well be his men because his heart can only ache with so much regret).

Now when he can feel the turbid miasma of darkness that chokes the Force with a fetid, acrid stink that is so near to the scent of sulphur that Obi-Wan can almost feel the heat of lava and the singe of a lightsaber as it bears down on him (and the screams sound in his ears, of a future denied them and a past that becomes blighted with every clash of their blades, as they do every night when sleep eludes him and every morning when meditation does, too).

But escaping is a dangerous game at present. And even were he to make it off this cruiser, where else is there to go but back to the same desert planet, the same skin-blistering heat, the same stretch of rolling, yellow dunes?

There’s sand on the floor. Even here it follows him and Obi-Wan stares at the grains of it, of where his boots and the boots of the stormtroopers that captured him have tracked this trace of Tatooine into his prison.

His eyes are still downcast as the door of his cell opens, as someone steps inside, and he can hear the grit of it as black boots—impeccably clean in a way he never could convince his restless apprentice to keep his as he grew—grind the sand underfoot.

“Hello, my dear,” Obi-Wan says. It’s been a while since he’s used this particular tone—insouciant in the face of certain death—yet it comes easily now. “You’ll forgive me if I don’t stand…” he gestures to his leg, the break of it plain in the strange angle of his knee.

“Oh, please, Master—” and that one word spoken in the mouth of this near-stranger does more to eviscerate him than any broken bone could hope to “—allow me.”

There’s no point in keeping his screams from ringing through the small room, no point in pretending that the agony he feels as his bones shift, and realign, and are made to grow together at an unnatural speed is anything less than absolute.

When it’s over Obi-Wan sags against the wall. A furious sweat dampens his forehead and his skin shivers with shock. Still, he digs deep into the teeth-clenched inner reserves of strength he’s had to cultivate over his life and in a thin, jaunty tone says: “Many thanks.”

Anakin snorts in dark amusement and then raises his hand. Obi-Wan is jerked forward, plucked into the air by an invisible grip until he is standing on his newly re-formed leg.

Tilting his head up, Obi-Wan forces himself to meet Anakin’s gaze: yellow where once a crystalline blue had been.

So much of him is still the same and that is it’s own cruelty.

“Two years, Obi-Wan,” he says, mouth flattened, and Obi-Wan could almost believe that it’s from disappointment. “That’s all it took me to find you.”

“You always were exceptionally efficient at anything you set your mind to, Anakin.”

“And you were always exceptionally arrogant, my master.” The door behind him closes and now Obi-Wan is alone in this cell with Anakin. He’s alone in this cell with Anakin and Anakin’s pressing darkness that winds through the empty spaces between them, doing more to burn away the breathable air than a fire ever could. “You know very well that is no longer my name.”

“You must forgive me. Where I’ve been living hasn’t afforded me the ability to stay current on galactic events,” he bluffs. “Tatooine is rather in the middle of nowhere, as I’m sure you remember. Is there something else you’d prefer I call you?”

“My name is Darth Vader.”

Obi-Wan lets the silence sit and then gives a careful, neutral: “Ah.” A muscle in Anakin’s jaw bulges as he his teeth grind together. “It’s lovely.”

The air turns more dense—more claustrophobic—as the weight of Anakin’s ire bears down on him. “You,” Anakin says, stepping closer and Obi-Wan holds his ground. “Are so—” Whatever he had been on the verge of saying is bitten away and then banished by a swift shake of his head. “What’s on Tatooine, old man?”

“Sand.” Obi-Wan says without thinking and he gets an invisible vise around his throat for it.

Anakin persists, stepping nearer, staring into his face and he’s close enough that Obi-Wan can see the industrial shuttle light cast a sheen on his eyelashes. “Why of all the planets in all the star systems did you choose that one?”

“The…” he pants through his swiftly closing airway. “Weather.”

“Try again.”

“Always...admired…” Flickers, like a gathering of gnats, are at the corner of his vision now and his lungs are burning for breath. “...Jawa culture…”

“Obi-Wan,” he chides, tightening his grip and this time Obi-Wan can only muster a sound—nothing like words and everything like the desperate last gasp of a dying body—as blackness eats away all that he sees.

He’s on the precipice of unconsciousness—a cliff’s edge that he is inching toward with every passing, choking second—when abruptly he’s released. He collapses in a heap, sputtering for air, and when his vision darkens again this time it’s because Anakin’s form is looming over him. Yellow eyes glint and gold flecked hair spills over his shoulder as he crouches over where Obi-Wan lays.

“Let’s try this again.”

“Must we?” Obi-Wan wheezes.

“Why were you on Tatooine?”

Any number of thoughts roll through his sluggish mind—obfuscations, goadings, taunts—but none of them will throw Anakin off his question for long. And, to his credit, it is an excellent question. It is the question that Obi-Wan most dreads he discovers the answer to. The reason he didn’t leave Mustafar to throw himself into the fray of battle once more. The reason for the hut in the dune sea and the quiet vigil he’s held on the Lars homestead and the yawning loneliness of desert nights beneath an impossible spill of stars. It's the reason, the one thing, that has kept him tethered to this mortal plane when so often the winds of Tatooine have beckoned for him to follow their howling call during a sandstorm and let them swallow him down.

But this.

This is what he was tasked with: the protection of a boy at any cost. At any cost, and his obfuscations and goadings and taunts might very well be the thing that strikes fire to the tinder of his former apprentice’s rage enough to kill him once and for all, but who will protect the boy, then?

He needs a distraction. One that will last.

He needs to enter the maw of the creature that Anakin has become and dwell there a while.

Anakin is kneeling now, coming ever closer, and there is one last gambit he can try. One last ploy that might very well break his spirit, his heart, his mind, even if it keeps him alive for years to come.

“Why were you on Tatooine, Obi-Wan?”

Obi-Wan licks his chapped, split lips. He tastes the metal tang of blood and says, in a voice that is ruined by violence, “So that you could find me.”

Anakin recoils at that, jerking backwards as if he’s been slapped. “No,” he says. “No you were there for a reason. I know it. They must have sent you...”

The laugh that Obi-Wan huffs is real. “Who? Who is there left to send me anywhere?”

“The Council—”

“Is gone,” Obi-Wan says. “The Order is gone. I'm all that is left.” Obi-Wan grits his teeth against the bruises and bleeding, fights until he is on his knees. Anakin’s eyes widen as Obi-Wan pulls himself upright and now they are of a height. “Do with me what you will.”

Anakin’s mouth is soft when it finds him; warm when it falls open and he lets in a hungry, questing tongue as it seeks out the taste of Obi-Wan—shattered and battered and brought low—and Anakin savors them all with a moan. Obi-Wan wishes he were strong enough to keep his eyes open, but it’s easier to forget where he is—who he is—when there’s not so much light.

Arms wrap around Obi-Wan’s waist, holding fast and tight and he breaks away from their kiss to give a yell of agony at the pain Anakin’s questing hands mete. Anakin doesn’t notice, whispering instead into the vulnerable curve of Obi-Wan’s throat: “You know how much I’ve wanted this. For years and years I’ve wanted this.”

“I know.” Subtlety had never been a trait that Anakin had cared to nurture. There have been all the ‘fresher doors accidently left open as his padawan showered and all the cots claimed as Obi-Wan’s own inexplicably filled with the sleeping sprawl of a knight fresh from the field, and all the war zones where the only way to save Obi-Wan’s life was to shield him beneath the protective weight of General Skywalker’s body.

“You said it was forbidden.”

“It was.” And even though his cracked ribs sing and the places where blaster fire singed his flesh crack open to bleed again, Obi-Wan reaches up. He brings his arms around Anakin’s broad shoulders, and their bodies press together until there is only cloth and heat and dwindling time between them. “But who is left to stop us now?”

He lets himself be taken then, murmuring praises all the while because this is something Obi-Wan can do. He can become Anakin’s pet—his plaything—and maybe someday when the years have stripped Obi-Wan of his pride and his body has been broached by another so fiercely it is no longer his own to claim... maybe then he’ll look across a field of some new battle, some new planet, some new space station to see the blue eyes of another Skywalker, a new Skywalker, a Skywalker that has lived and grown and come into his own, and he’ll know it all will have been worth it.

I Come Alive With You

Pairing - Anakin Skywalker x Reader

Summary - Anakin Request: Banished from the Jedi Order, the only thing getting you through the days is the thought that soon Anakin would join you. However, when you feel the death of your old Master and Anakin’s Force presence disappear, you discover his rejoining you is going to be much more complicated than you imagined. 

Word Count - 2,699

Warnings - Nothing other than a brief moment of canon violence.

Getting your life uprooted and turned upside down wasn’t as easy to recover from as you had hoped it would be. Every day was monotonous. You woke up, went to the Farmer’s market and worked, lifting box after box in the excruciating heat and praying for a scrap to fall from someone’s cart that you could snatch up and save for later. 

You knew your life could be so much easier. Every minute you could feel the Force calling out to you, reminding you how you could lift those boxes with no effort, use a mind trick to get whatever you needed . . . but you were sure the moment you did, your Former Master would feel it, and you would have to run or face an even worse punishment. 

It had been a far fall from a Jedi General of the Republic to a simple farmer. 

Through all of this, all the dreariness of living, you had one simple thought to cling to. Even if every other Jedi had abandoned you, Anakin wouldn’t. Once he came back from his mission saving the Chancellor, he would find you, and be with you. That was the thought that helped you make it through every lonely day by yourself. 

It was how you survived, even if it was painful. 

However, that pain was nothing compared to what you felt that night. 

It had started as an uneasy feeling in your stomach. You had been traveling home from work, loaded down with a backpack and wincing from the soreness in your muscles. Then it hit like a bantha running at you full speed. 

“Master Plo,” you gasped out, clutching your chest as a vision swam before your eyes, flying above a city you couldn’t name, and then fire, so much fire . . . it felt like it was burning your whole body, then a building swam into your field of vision, and you reached out as if you could grab a hold of the controls yourself, “No!” 

But it was too late. Your vision returned to normal and you found yourself on your knees, feeling like a piece of you had been ripped out of your soul. Without even being there, you knew. 

Your old Master was dead. 

There was no time for recovery though, because within moments, a Force presence you had been so accustomed to feeling you almost forgot it was there blinked out of existence. 

No, no it couldn’t be. Not after all this. 

“Anakin . . .” You whimpered, grief washing over you like a tidal wave. 

You collapsed to the ground, overwhelmed and devastated. 

____________________

The next couple of days were a blur. You didn’t work, you didn’t eat, you didn’t sleep. You existed. You watched the sun come up, go down, and that was the extent of your day. 

If you thought your days were monotonous before, it was worse now. In your darkest moments, when grief and anger wracked your body with sobs, you wished the Council had killed you instead of banished you. Life without Anakin Skywalker was not worth living. 

The sun was setting once more on the barren planet you had been deserted on when there was a knock on your door. You ignored it for a moment, hoping whoever it was would go away, but it persisted, getting louder and louder until it began to annoy you. You reached out with your hand, tapping into the Force and swung it open so hard it crashed against the outside wall. You didn’t even look to see who it was, in fact, you hoped it was one of the Council members. Maybe if they saw you using the Force they would kill you where you stood, and you could be with him again. 

When that familiar voice spoke your name, you still didn’t turn. “If you’re here to tell me about Master Plo or Anakin I already know. So you can leave me to my grief.” 

“You already know?” Obi-Wan repeated, and you heard him take a couple of more steps inside. 

You turned to him then, your words sharp as a knife. “Of course I know! I felt every second of it! When Master Plo got shot down, and when Anakin’s Force signature disappeared . . .” You noticed the flicker of pain in Obi-Wan’s eyes, but kept going. “Their deaths haunt me every second of the day.” 

Obi-Wan said your name again, sitting by your side and reaching for your hand. “Anakin’s not dead.” 

For a moment, your heart stopped beating. Your eyes widened in disbelief. “That’s impossible.” You said snatching your hand out of his grip, “and cruel, Obi-Wan. You know we loved each other, and to say something like that -”

“I’m not lying to you.” Obi-Wan insisted. “Anakin is not dead.” 

“Then why did his Force signature disappear?” You asked, because you could think of no other explanation for that other than his death, and you didn’t know why Obi-Wan was hurting you so by insisting he was alive. 

“Because,” Obi-Wan let out a sigh, and you could tell that the words pained him to say. “Anakin has turned to the dark side.” 

“I - what?” You said, your brow furrowed as you looked at Obi-Wan. “Why . . . Why would Anakin do that?” 

When Obi-Wan looked at you then, the knowing look in his eyes told you everything. “I can think of one reason.” 

It couldn’t be true. Anakin was the best person you knew. Even for you, you couldn’t imagine him turning to the dark side even though Obi-Wan believed he had. “So is that why you’re here? Did the Council order you to use me as bait? To lure Anakin into a trap and - and kill him?” You stood up, anger and tension in your bones as your eyes narrowed at him. “I won’t do it. If the Council hadn’t been too strung up in their old ways, this never would have happened -”

“The Council is no longer. They were all murdered by the Clones or Chancellor Palpatine.” Obi-Wan interrupted. “It’s a long story, but I’m willing to tell it if you will listen.” 

The Chancellor? Your head was spinning with all this new information, and part of you wanted to say to hell with the story and run to find Anakin, but you knew you needed to know. So you nodded, and sat down, waiting for him to begin. 

It was an elaborate tale, and you were shocked and mesmerized by all the details and strings that Palpatine had been pulling for longer than you knew. His relationship with Anakin even played a part. 

You wondered if your relationship with him did.

“So you want me to go with you to try and convince him that the Chancellor is evil, and return him to the light side.” You said after Obi-Wan had finished his story. 

“You’re the only person who I think could do it.” He said. “I know where he’s going. I can take you to him.” 

That was all you needed to hear. 

____________________

Mustafar was not a beautiful planet to behold. There was no greenery, no calming waters, no lush trees. Instead it was a planet of reds and oranges, fire and lava with what seemed to be nothing but droids. Buildings, metallic and dark littered the skyline, and instead of rain there was ash and steam. You settled down on the planet, looking around for any sign of Anakin. “I think you should go talk to him first.” Obi-Wan said from behind you. “He might be upset if he sees me.” 

You nodded, not paying attention to what he was saying anyway. Your heart was pounding so heavy in your chest that it hurt, just aching, longing for the sight of him. Part of you was still struggling to believe that he was alive. Knowing that Obi-Wan wouldn’t be that cruel to you, but still unable to believe that he was living and breathing until you saw him. 

Then you did. 

He was standing on a walkway for a building. He was in his dark robes, and too far away to make out any features, but you knew that it was him. You would know him from miles away. You knew that he could tell it was you as well, because as soon as you noticed him, he started running towards your ship. 

You let down the ramp, barely acknowledging Obi-Wan as he told you to be careful. Your mind was on one thing now, and everything else was irrelevant. As soon as the ramp hit the ground you ran down, straight into Anakin’s waiting arms. 

He crushed you to him, hugging you so hard your feet left the ground, but you couldn’t care less. It was as if a huge weight was lifted off your chest, and relief flooded your body at his embrace. Because to hell with everything else, the Jedi, the Council, the Republic, this was where you belonged, wrapped in Anakin Skywalker’s arms. “I saw your ship . . . How did you find me?” 

“Obi-Wan told me,” You murmured into his chest as you felt him press kisses to the top of your head. “Ani, I thought you were dead.” You said, tightening your arms around him, afraid to let any distance form between the two of you. 

“Obi-Wan?” Anakin repeated, his voice a touch more tense than it was moments ago. 

“He found me.” You replied, tilting your chin up so you could look at him, your vision blurring with tears. “I thought you were dead because I couldn’t feel you anymore . . . He told me you were still alive, and that you had turned to the darkside. Anakin, I’m so confused.” You said. 

Anakin reached up and brushed your tears away with his thumbs before pressing a kiss to your forehead, lingering there and sending warmth throughout your body. “I promise I’m going to explain everything. I was going to come find you as soon as I finished taking care of the Separatists. When I heard what the Council had done to you -”

The anger in his voice sent chills down your spine. “Ani, it’s okay. We’re together now, right?” You asked, your hands running up and down his back, trying to calm him down. 

“Forever,” he said in a soft and tender voice, the promise in it unmistakable. His hand ran through your hair as he held you against his chest once more, and you sighed in relief. 

“Anakin!” A voice interrupted the two of you, and you turned to find Obi-Wan exiting the ship, looking determined. 

Immediately you could sense a change in Anakin, his whole body tensed, and he tugged you behind his back, away from Obi-Wan. “You tried to turn her against me!” Anakin yelled. 

Obi-Wan looked at you as you clung to Anakin’s arm as if it was your lifeline. “You have done that yourself when you turned to the darkside.” He replied. 

“You will not take her from me!” Anakin said back to him. 

“He won’t, Anakin.” You tried to reassure him, tugging at his arm to try and gain his attention. 

“Tell her what you’ve done. Tell her what you did in the Temple. Say it to her in your own words!” Obi-Wan shouted. 

Of course you already knew. Obi-Wan had told you everything that happened, and you believed him. But you also knew that Anakin had to have a reason. A misguided reason, yes, but you were sure he never would have done anything like that without cause. 

“The Jedi needed to die! Their lies and customs have poisoned everything! They tried to take everything from me! The Chancellor has taken me under his wing, and I do not fear the dark side anymore as you do.” Anakin said. “It’s the answer to everything!” 

You let go of his arm, stepping away from him. Oh Anakin . . . it all made sense. Obi-Wan had been right. He had destroyed the Jedi so that he could be with you. You knew his love for you ran deep, you just hadn’t realized how deep. You stumbled away towards Obi-Wan, shaking your head. “Oh, Anakin . . .” You mumbled, trying to take in this new information. 

“Don’t you see what you’ve done? It’s not too late, Anakin. You can return to the light!” Obi-Wan told him, putting his hands on your shoulders, trying to comfort you. 

But Anakin was paying him no mind. His eyes were focused on you. “Don’t you see? We can be together this way. We don’t have to run away anymore. If you join me, we can be married, have children, like we always dreamed of. Please . . .” Anakin said, and his hand reached out towards you. 

Obi-Wan called out your name and you tore your gaze from Anakin to look at him. “You know this isn’t right. It’s not the Jedi way. You know it’s not what Master Plo would have wanted.” 

Something inside of you snapped at his words. As much as you had loved your old Master and grieved his death, the fact remained that he, along with the rest of the Jedi, had denied you the one thing you had ever asked from them. After spending your whole life serving them and the Republic, they tossed you out like garbage because you did something as terrible as falling in love. 

It wasn’t right. 

You pulled away from Obi-Wan, shaking your head. “Master Plo abandoned me. The whole council abandoned me. Like they abandoned Ahsoka and other Jedi before her.” You glanced back at Anakin, his eyes watching every move you made with his hand still extended towards you. “The only person who’s never abandoned me is standing right there.” 

He shook his head. “Don’t do this.” He pleaded, his blue eyes begging, his voice distressed, squeezing your shoulders. 

It hurt you to hear him like this. You had known Obi-Wan for so long. As long as you could remember. You knew what this must be doing to him. You were about to become another person on the list of people that life had taken from him. It was another thing that wasn’t right, but you knew that he would never be able to see it the way you did. 

No matter what happened . . . Anakin was always going to be your choice. Your everything. 

Tears streamed down your face as you looked at him. “We wanted to be married, Obi-Wan. That’s all I asked the Council for. Permission to marry the love of my life, and they tossed me aside like I hadn’t spent my whole life following them.” Before he could stop you, you placed a hand to his head and pushed with the Force. “I’m sorry,” you whispered. 

He collapsed to the ground. 

You buried your face in your hands and turned away, unable to look at your fallen friend and found yourself pulled into Anakin’s strong arms. He held you close and tucked you under his chin, rubbing your back in soothing motions as you clung to him. He was all you had now, but you knew that would be enough. “He’s going to come after us.” Anakin whispered in your ear. 

You knew that he was right, but you couldn’t bring yourself to kill him, and you weren’t going to let Anakin do it either. “We’ll worry about that when the time comes. Right now, I want to get out of here, and I want you to teach me everything you know.” 

Anakin pulled away so he could look at you, confusion on his face as he stroked your hair. 

“I’m not going to be under anyone’s thumb anymore.” You said, determination in your voice. “No one’s going to tell me what we can and can’t do. Even Palpatine.” You grabbed a hold of his robes and clenched them in your fists. “If you’re going to the dark side . . . I’m going with you.” 

Anakin didn’t even hesitate. “We’ll overthrow him. Together.” 

“Together,” You repeated. 

Did you care about ruling the galaxy? Not particularly, but you weren’t going to let anyone stand in the way of Anakin and you again, and you had a feeling Chancellor Palpatine was going to attempt to do just that. 

It would be his biggest mistake.

A Soul to Mend His Own | Ch. 71

Warning: 🥵🥵🥵

Warning, PLEASE CHECK TAGS IF YOU SEE SOMETHING YOU DON’T WANT TO READ THEN DON’T READ. | Tag lists are closed | INBOX OPEN

Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Will tag as I go along, Will update tags, Slow Burn, Influenced by Star Trek and other Sci-Fi themes, References to We Happy Few, Tons of References and quotes to George Orwells 1984 see if you can find them all, The First Order is the new Big Brother,  but who is really surprised, Blatant Nazi Symbolism, Interrogation Themes, Eventual Smut, Eventual Romance, Really just drawn out Slow Burn, Don’t repost without permission, Torture themes, Suggestive Themes, Execution themes, Disturbing Themes, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Verbal Abuse, Controlling Kylo Ren, Physical Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, Possessive Kylo Ren, A character shamelessly based on Zelda

A Kylo Ren x Modern! Reader in a soulmate au with canon divergence. —————————————SLOWBURN————————————–

He is already the Supreme leader, searching the universe to find you, his Empress. Your name on his wrist has been the only constant in his life, while you have doubts about his existence and his acceptance of you. He isn’t in the database and why did the name Kylo Ren cover Ben Solo?

MASTERLIST

Chapter 71: The Answers You Were Seeking

The ship came into the hangar, so you were finally back on the Supremacy. You attempted to get up, but your legs were failing you. This amused your guard dog. He came face to face with you, “Does Kitten need help?” He seemed to enjoy teasing you.

You just held your arms out in a silent demand. Enjoying the feeling of him picking you up in his strong arms. Inhaling his natural scent as you tucked your face into his neck to hide from the outside world. You wanted to stay in your little bubble with him for as long as possible. “If I am an Empress, shouldn’t I be carried everywhere, always?” You imagined him carrying you.

He chuckled, “That can be arranged if you want it, but you other royal carriers might disappoint you.” You felt his hands shift, holding you more securely against his chest as he entered the hallway.

As much as you tried hiding your face and avoiding the people you could hear them shuffling out of the way and saying “Supreme Leader” and “Empress.” You just wanted him to look at you, him alone. You were his, and no one else’s. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding when you entered your chambers.

Instead of heading directly to the bedroom, he brought you into the dining room where dinner was waiting for you. It was at that moment that you realized that you had worked up quite an appetite. Your nerves from before your consummation had completely dissipated. He set you down, in front of a glorious-looking feast. “I thought that a little Kitten like you would be hungry after playing with her guard dog.” You could hear the smirk in his voice as he teased you.

You tried to put a poker face as you teased him back, “We didn’t exactly play.” No, you didn’t play, not per se.

“Didn’t you have fun,” it was more of a tease than a question. He knew the answer, but you two were just in a rather flirty mood.

“Oh, I had more than fun.” It’s true you did have more than just fun.

He leaned forward and scooped you up into his arms and onto his lap, “You’re too far away. You’re a Kitten that is meant to curl up on my lap.” He buried his head into the crook of your neck, delicately kissing the bruised skin there.

You chuckled at his neediness, “And who set me down there, hmm?” You buried your face into his chest. For the next hour, you spent time feeding each other, slowly with many kisses exchanged for bites of food. Once finished his hands roamed your body while your arms were wrapped around his neck. A hand made its way down to your bruised heat, testing the delicate flesh. You winced and whimpered at the feeling, still sore from you earlier escapades.

You could see Kylo contemplating your reaction to his touch. “We’ll have to get some bacta on that if we want to have any more playtime tonight.” He grazed his nose against you affectionately. He then carried you into the bathroom and set you on the vanity where he untied your dress, exposing you to him. He reached behind you and into the medicine cabinet and pulled out a bottle of what you assumed to be bacta. It was a warm liquidy, gelly substance that he carefully applied to your bruised cunt.

You thought the sensation to be rather unpleasant. It wasn’t like lube, but more like aloe slathered everywhere down there making you feel rather gross and not quite sticky. “When should I be healed enough?” You had no idea how this worked. This was an entirely new concept for you.

He thought for a moment before responding. “An hour to two max. You aren’t bleeding and as far as I can tell you haven’t torn anything, just bruised and overstimulated. It’s best to let it work undisturbed so, for now, we will have to do something else.” He then carried you out of the bathroom with your dress still hanging open. His eyes seemed to dance across your marked flesh as he took you upstairs to the lounge where you both settled down on a couch.

His arms wrapped around you keeping your against him, hands teasing and ghosting over your bruises. Almost as if he was silently worshiping you, appreciating the offerings he had left all over your body. You had a couple of hours to kill before you went back to your rounds of lovemaking. “Can you tell me why you didn’t tell me that making me Empress meant that we were going to get married? Because you just up and left before explaining that.” You wanted some answers, you just hope you could tiptoe around him so you wouldn’t ignite his anger.  

His fingers wrapped themselves in your hair, his palm against your skull, and his lips against your temple. “Because I thought you might say no, so I didn’t ask. I was worried you would leave me Kitten, and then I would have no one to guard.” You could hear the hint of fear and sadness still lingering in his voice. You were the only thing he truly had in this galaxy. You knew it would devastate you as much as him if either of you left. It was better to be bound to each other than to live without the other half to your soul.

You turned your head and tilted up to kiss him, “I’ll accept that answer.” More kisses before asking, “How did your fight with the scavenger go? I watched the transmission, but I want to know how you thought it went and what your feelings are.” You knew there was much more to the fight than what you saw in the transmission. You knew there was a bit more to their ‘relationship’ in general that he hasn’t told you yet.

He let out a deep sigh as he turned to look away from you, to look at the ceiling while lost in thought. “It wasn’t easy trying to find her. Her friends tried to stay one step ahead of us and it worked until it didn’t.” You now fully turned to face him.

“The fight itself wasn’t that difficult until the defective stormtrooper shot at me and distracted me. She stabbed me, but she did not hit any vital organs thankfully. Managing to impale me between my liver and stomach. But as you can see I am alright…” he then trailed off as if lost in thought.

You brought a hand up to caress his face, trying to bring his attention back. “But what about her motivation? She wanted you to join her, to leave me.” You almost wish the vision in front of your blaster was actually her, so you could have killed her instead of him. He has already seen lifetimes of battles and death, and you just wished you could take just one away from him, to save him from that pain.

His voice became slightly agitated, “Yes, its true she wanted him to join her, but I didn’t want to. The only person I want in the universe is you. She believed she knew Ben Solo, but she didn’t because he still wanted you, he would have never have gone with her if it meant losing you. She was lost in her own delusion. I, Kylo Ren, have always wanted you, and just you.” His confession made your heart soar. You rolled onto your side and rested your head against his chest. Showing him how much you cared.

“I’ve always wanted you too. It’s why I am here, it’s why I have stayed. I don’t want anyone else.” You felt his hand rub up and down your back, making you feel all warm inside. You hated that you needed to break this tender moment with another heavy subject, but if you didn’t do so now, you don’t know when you would be able to get the chance again.

“But what about your mother? She just wanted her son to come home.”

You could see his demeanor shift, this wasn’t a conversation he really wanted to have, “In the end, it was something I would always have to do. It was always going to be Ben Solo or myself. She knew this too. She lost her son long ago, this was just the final act. In the end, I think she realized that I am still her son. She and Han Solo may have been gifted Ben Solo, but Kylo Ren is the man they made.” You could hear the anger and hurt in his voice even if you weren’t looking at his face. The man lying next to you had killed both of his parents, to be with you, to make Kylo Ren triumphant.

Your memory recalled her words, her warning, “But what was she saying about this not being the last of it? What is coming?” To say you were worried was an understatement.

He peered down at you, his eyes were like black steel with his brows furrowed and his lips hard in a solid line, “I do not exactly know yet, but I feel it in the Force. Something powerful has awoken, and I need to stop it, to protect you.” His hands grabbed your face, “I will protect you. I had a feeling on Mustafar that a key might be there, I will find it. I will find out who it is, end them and I will protect you.”

His reassurances were sexy, something about his need to keep you safe was something that aroused you. Which wasn’t a great feeling at the moment, as your wetness mixed with the gell and made you uncomfortable. You whimpered at the feeling, your belly warm but your brain disgusted. This caused Kylo to reach between your legs, testing the tissue there and it seemed to pass inspection as there was no more pain. Only a pleasured gasp escaped your lips as his fingers stroked you. “Hmm, it seems like you are ready to go Kitten. Shall I go clean you up so we can play again?” You let out a whimper in response, as his fingers still roamed your heated flesh.

He picked you up and carried you down to the bedroom instead of the bathroom. He set you down on the bed and left you to walk into the bathroom. Your body did not like the separation from him, as you whined as he left you. He turned on a switch in your brain which caused you to be needy for his touch. He returned with a damp washcloth and proceeded to wipe away the bacta, his stokes and attention to detail caused your slick to almost gush out of you at the attention. You rolled your hips up trying to cause friction, this caused him to chuckle. “Needy aren’t we Kitten?” You heard a wet slap as the washcloth was abandoned on the floor.

He quickly lifted you, ridding you of the wrap dress entirely before his fingers began to massage your clit in circular motions. Your hips attempting to follow his rhythm. “Can we try something Kitten?” He seemed to be the coherent one between the two of you. All you could do was nod in response, words failing you.

His touch ceased on your clit, on your cunt all together, which caused you to cry out in frustration. But then he brought your wrist to his lips. His name was now being kissed and sucked like the many, many love bites that littered your body. Suddenly it was if your body didn’t need anything else. You cunt seemed to pulse in pleasure at the sensation. Reacting as if the most wonderful touches were being performed on you, but they weren’t. Kylo was just nipping and sucking on his name on your wrist. It was like the ultimate key to getting you to orgasm as it didn’t take long before you were seeing stars. Your back arching as you came, Kylo’s name on your lips. You felt like you were going to blackout again, but Kylo’s lips on yours brought you back from the edge of it.

It took you a few minutes to regain full consciousness again, full coherence. When you did you threaded your hands into those dark raven locks and deepened the kiss rolling your hips up to meet his, which somehow were now completely bare. In your lack of awareness, he stripped down to his nakedness and your hips rolled up to meet his hardening cock. “That was amazing,” you said rather out of breath.

A smirk graced your lover’s face, “Mmm I could tell.” His hand reached back down to your now messy cunt, “You are absolutely sopping wet Kitten.” He kissed you hard, as one of his fingers entered your wet hole, earning a moan from you. “I guess we shall have to do that often. But let’s see if you can return the favor.”

He flipped you both over; you were now straddling his thighs, his cock in front of you. You saw its angry red, swollen head, and the shine of pre-cum on the tip. You wanted to eat it rather than ignore it, but he brought his wrist to your lips. You were supposed to mark your name as he did his. And you complied.

Kylo hissed in pleasure at the sensation, his hips rolling up, his dick bouncing. You continued to lick, nibble, and suck on your name. You even went as far as tracing the letters with your tongue. If you thought you were a mess, then he was a disaster. Moaning and panting your name and nickname. His hips trying to find fiction for his cock. It didn’t take long for his hips to stutter and his cum to shoot out in pulses as he orgasmed. Your name a shout on his lips, his voice haggard. His cum painted both of your chests with the splattery aftermath.

You decided to be a lady and clean his semi-soft cock with your tongue before you traveled up to his chest, rubbing your breasts against his, smearing the milky white substance. When you were satisfied with the completion of yours and his painting you licked up the evidence from his chest before flopping down next to him and beckoning him to do the same. He took his sweet time as he licked up and down your breasts, making sure both nipples were absolutely glistening with saliva.

One of his fingers tested your hole again as he positioned himself over you. “Mmm Kitten, you will be the death of me,” he said as he pushed his index finger into you, to his knuckle. He hooked into you and teased your walls.

You moaned back. “Death by sex doesn’t sound so bad to me,” you mused as he plunged another finger in you, trying to get you ready to fully take him again. Without this prep, you would surely tear right in two.

You heard him chuckle, the sound you loved so much, the sound you were pretty sure you were the only one who got to hear it on such a regular basis. “I suppose you’re right. If I had to choose how to go out. Dying with my cock buried in your tight cunt would be the best way.” His voice was sultry now, a velvety sort of sex that could get you to do almost anything.

It didn’t take long for him to get you ready. Your body responds quickly because he was right, you were made for him. He lined himself up once more, teasing you with his engorged head, just pushing your flaps around and only putting the tip in. “Please, just fuck me Kylo. I can’t take it anymore,” you whined earning a quick deep thrust from his hips, fully sheathing himself in you. You threw your head back in pleasure and released a loud moan.

It didn’t take very long for him to pick up a steady rhythm of his hips snapping consistently. You attempted to help him by meeting his thrusts, but he was buried so deep inside you it didn’t really matter. “So…  tight..” was what he struggled to get out as his thrusting deepened. You could feel his cock twitching between your walls of pleasure. Enjoying the feeling of being fully engulfed in your heat.

You attempted to respond to him, “So… BIG,” you shouted as he found that spot, your g spot. The head of his cock relentlessly pounding into it, causing you to see stars. His pace and power only picked up as he was locked on target. The sounds of skin slapping and panting filling up the room.

You could feel the orgasm starting, “Kylo…. I’m…” you couldn’t even get the words out. Your brain was a solid clump of mush. He was almost literally fucking your brains out.

His thrusts causing the bed to quiver. “Cum with me,” his voice was thick with ecstasy. You followed orders as your walls clamped around him, his hips stuttering. His panting and moaning almost overriding yours as you came together. Eventually both your hips stopped as you both exhausted your energy, reveling in the orgasm together. Kylo collapsed on top of you, keeping his dick inside you, something you didn’t know you liked until he did it the first time. Your cunt being very happy at not being left empty. Loving the feeling of the weight of his dick inside of you. You also enjoyed the post-sex lazy kisses that he seemed to give you. A silent thank you for giving him his orgasm like you were a goddess blessing his fields with rain.

The next few days were filled with work and plenty of sex. Adlez and Olivia-Rose were rather pleased and horrified at the state of you in the morning. Kylo and you had another few wonderful rounds of sex. Your body looked more bruised than alright, but you assured them that it was fine. Three days after your wedding night, Kylo got a call to return to Mustafar, something there needed his attention. Something you wished would just disappear.

A/N: So....I take it y’all like smut? 

What if Obi-wan didn’t suffer when he was killed by Darth Vader?

Obi-wan knows that when he confronts Vader on the Death Star that he’s going to die. 

It won’t necessarily be by lightsaber or by the force gripping his neck and cutting off his air supply, but he will perish. 

His body is old now, not nearly as agile as it used to be, and he hasn’t used the force combatively for a long time. 

Still, he knows what he has to do, and he knows that it’s going to end him, but he thinks that after years of solitude, of hiding away with only ghosts, memories, and occasionally a bright young boy that reminds Obi-wan of someone he used to love, it’s time to allow himself to rest. 

He’s come to terms with this, truly, or at least he thinks he has. 

“Obi-wan Kenobi,” the muffled, breathy voice of Darth Vader echoes in the empty room, and it sends an unpleasant thrill down the older man’s spine. 

“Darth Vader,” Obi-wan addresses, and the name feels like venom on his tongue, vile and grotesque, and he thinks that he might vomit now that he’s in the presence of the most feared villain in the galaxy. 

“You’ve come to kill me,” Vader accuses with a hint of amusement, “to finish the job you refused to finish on Mustafar.” 

“The only murderer in this room is yourself,” Obi-wan spits, and his palms itch with the surge of anger that tries to push forth from the pit of his stomach. 

Darth Vader chuckles, and he turns to face him finally. He’s only a mask now, Obi-wan has to remind himself. There’s nothing left of the man he was so devoted to. 

“You will fail, yet again,” Vader taunts, “but do not fear your demise. I will make it as painful as possible.” 

Obi-wan swallows thickly and draw his saber, but he never gets the chance to ignite it. 

It clatters to the cold, hard floor, and he gasps suddenly when his mind is flooded with his memories of the Clone War. 

He can’t see Vader’s face, but he can tell that there is a malicious grin splitting his deformed features as he shakes his head of the visions flashing before his eyes. 

Darkness seeps into the edges of his mind and distorts his memories. 

Tatooine, the bright, beautiful eyes of a young boy with so much life and determination, warping into a sickly yellow color. 

The same tainted eyes, but older now, watching his back as they traverse the galaxy and train together. 

An evil smirk as Obi-wan is forced to watch him drag his lips along the slender curve of Padme Amidala’s neck. 

“S-stop,” he pleads helplessly, and his knees shake before the buckle beneath him. 

His fists curl into tight balls in what remains of his white hair as similar images keep flashing before him, and distantly he hears Vader come closer. 

“You still hold onto that love nearly two decades later,” he states with an odd tone that Obi-wan can’t put an emotion to. 

Vader kneels before Obi-wan and roughly lifts his chin up, forcing their gazes to meet, and Obi-wan trembles in shame because Vader is right. He never stopped loving that man. 

“Do you even remember his name?” Vader asks cruelly, and Obi-wan sneers through his sadness. 

“Of course I do,” he hisses through clenched teeth. 

“Say it,” Vader demands, “tell me his name.”

“No,” Obi-wan immediately grits out. 

He can’t say it, and he hasn’t for many, many years. If he does, it will destroy him. 

Another flood of memories flash though his mind. 

Shoulders brushing as he and the man he loved stand just too close together during mission briefings. 

Fingers lingering on each other too long before separating for a long period of time. 

Night upon night of tears, alone in his sandy prison, wishing for just one more night with him. 

“S-stop...” He begs again, but his resolve is crumbling. The name dances on the tip of his tongue, and before he can keep it to himself, he’s sobbing, hot tears pouring down old, tired cheeks. 

“A-Anakin...please...” 

And then he feels something entirely different. 

Vader’s face is unreadable underneath the black helmet, but he can feel something shifting in the force as it radiates with emotions that he thought were long gone. 

Suddenly he’s on Coruscant in a suite that he recognizes as one from a swanky hotel overlooking the night skyline. His body feels lighter, younger, if the lack of wrinkles on his hands are any indication. The lights are just as brilliant as ever, and there’s a comfortable chill in the air as he stands out on the balcony basking in the temporary calm. 

“Obi-wan,” a familiar voice beckons him from his thoughts, and he turns to see a taller man with dark curls brushing his neck and blue eyes brighter than any star in the entire galaxy. 

“Anakin,” Obi-wan gasps, and he’s staring openly shocked. “You’re here.”

“Of course I am,” Anakin laughs a little and smiles so warmly that Obi-wan feels his entire body tingle from it. “You thought I would refuse a invitation to spend proper time with you?”

“I suppose not,” Obi-wan manages, though he’s still in disbelief. 

“Then again,” Anakin continues, “I have a feeling that what happens in this room tonight will be anything but proper.”

Obi-wan shivers at the insinuation, and he flushes a little as he gives in and pulls Anakin close enough to feel the lines of their bodies mold together. 

“It’s been so long,” he whispers as he cards his fingers through Anakin’s curls and breathes him in. There’s no hint of ash and lava in his scent, and Obi-wan sighs as desert flowers and something earthy wafts into his nostrils. 

“It has,” Anakin agrees as he settles against him and nuzzles his cheek. He always did say he loved the feel of Obi-wan’s beard against his skin. “I’ve waited an eternity for this.”

“Stars, Anakin,” Obi-wan’s voice trembles, and he thinks he might cry being so close to Anakin again, but he keeps himself in check. “I’ve missed you.” 

I love you. 

I LOVE YOU.

I HAVE ALWAYS LOVED YOU. 

“Kiss me, Master,” Anakin gasps, and it’s only then that Obi-wan realizes that their lips are only centimeters apart. “Kiss me and show me how much I mean to you.” 

Obi-wan’s breath hitches for a split second before he cups Anakin’s face in his hands. “Dear one, I could spend the rest of my years kissing you, and it wouldn’t even come close to how much this one moment means to me.”

It’s Anakin’s turn to gasp, but he’s cut off by Obi-wan’s lips pressed to his, firm but tender. 

This is how it was supposed to be, Obi-wan thinks as their lips part and slot together for a deeper kiss. This was how they were supposed to grow old. 

As Anakin’s tongue slides over his, Obi-wan loses all train of thought. He belongs to Anakin Skywalker. He always has. 

He doesn’t hear the distant, distinct sound of a lightsaber igniting. 

He doesn’t feel the blade pierce his chest. 

He has Anakin in his arms, his smile forever engraved in his mind, and his kiss on his lips as his vision fades to white. 

Would you break down Kylo Ren, please?

Boy can I anon! :) Apologies as well for the late reply, i wanted to take my time for this one.

essentially the TL/DR version is: this character has been neglected and abused his entire life, believing he didn't belong anywhere with anyone. only after realizing his parents and Rey actually care about him does he gain the courage to “do the right thing.” He’s then written unceremoniously out of existence after saving and kissing Rey, only being happy for 10 seconds in hid entire life. Aint that dandy! :)

Idk how short of an explanation you want, but i also decided to list all of his major character arcs within his lifetime, simply because i care about this character A LOT. I haven’t written anything like an essay in a while, so i really couldn’t help myself haha. This list is also chronological, but ill keep it under a read-more for easy scrolling.

PRE-TFA

Literally been toyed with and corrupted SINCE BEFORE BEING BORN

A happy toddler who loved his parents and "uncles"

His parents loved him very much but didn’t treat him as a priority. Leia tended to focus on her political career and Han couldn’t shake his old nomadic ways. As a result, Ben ended up very isolated.

As he grew stronger and keener to the isolation, his parents feared him and his emotions. Leia sent him away to Luke’s academy, despite Han not wanting Ben to go.

Made friends in the academy, but still a loner. All the while the voices in his head (Snoke/palpatine) are growing louder and louder

Luke forcibly saw into his mind, intent on ending ben’s life until changing his mind. Naturally this upset Ben, seeing as he figured what was left of his family that cared about him wanted him dead. He then collapsed the building, trapping Luke inside.

While deciding to run away, a storm (inferably caused by Snoke/Palpatine) struck fire to the Jedi Temple, killing the students inside. Ben attempted to save a few, but failed.

Ran into the arms of the First Order and the Knights of Ren, since snoke gaslit him into believing it was the only place he could be.

Trained under The KOR and Snoke as a dark side force warrior. Mainly used asa spiritual tool to snuff out Jedi rather than a political tool for the FO.

Tasked with finding Luke Skywalker, sets the beginning of TFA in motion.

TFA

Demonstrates his capability in dark side tendencies by torturing Poe for information

Chooses not to acknowledge Finn’s deflection

immediately gets distracted from his mission of finding bb8 once learning there is a girl involved with this situation.

remains primarily on the defense while subduing rey, carries her away manually to his ship for interrogation. its notable to mention that Han was completely unworried for rey as she was being taken; he knew rey was strong enough to resist and he knew his son’s shortcomings. 

willingly unmasks to rey while interrogating her; this is to show the audience that not only is he making himself more vulnerable and relatable to rey, but also to show that he’s completely opposite to what rey was expecting.

Their connection is formed as they push into each other’s minds

snoke tells him to kill his father in order to complete the training. ben loves his father dearly but genuinely believes he’s too far gone to do anything contradictory to snoke’s orders.

senses it when han arrives at Starkiller, and ignores him. referential material implied that kylo wanted to give han the chance to escape, but when Han sought him out then he reacted.

kills han, the deed “splitting him to the bone” 

survived, but gravely injured by Chewbacca’s bowcaster blast (shown previously blowing up 6 troopers at once). Sees Finn and Rey, becoming enraged, and follows them.

intercepts rey and finn in the forrest. angrily taunts them while beating his wounds. sends rey back into a tree in self-defense. demands to take the legacy saber, fighting with finn in the process. its notable that his fighting style while on the offensive is extremely akin to a berserker method; precise and accurate but brutal and excessive. ends up slashing finn and rendering him unconscious.

is in awe of rey’s ability to call the saber to her, fights her less-aggressively in order to corner her and offer her guidance. naturally she refuses, and taps into the force to overpower him and leave him bleeding on Starkiller as her and Finn rejoin the resistance.

TLJ

approaches snoke in his throneroom, visibly injured and emotional as a result of his fight with rey and the death of his father. snoke mocks his “weak” emotional state and calls him a “child in a mask.”

is hurt by snoke’s remark, an destroys his mask in a rage.

leads an arial attack on the Resistance ships, demonstrating his skills as a pilot. When he has an opportunity to blow up his mother’s ship, he doesn’t; he loves her far too much and cant physically bring himself to repeat the horror of killing Han. Unfortunately, one of the TIE pilots do instead. (later he is relieved to still feel his mother through the force.)

while in a medbay getting treatment for his scar, the force connects him with rey for the first time. both are surprised by this turn of events, and Kylo is more curious as to the logistics of the connection rather than being angry at the sudden appearance of his enemy.

connects with rey again as she is in the rain, still fascinated by how exactly the bond works. rey is still enraged by his presence as he casually mentions that Luke isnt the saintly figure she sees him as. Agrees with her as she angrily calls him a monster; instead of a taunt its actually a display of self-loathing. he then wipes his face after their connection ends, demonstrating that the bond they share permeates a physical space (as well as being a metaphor of the palpable tension between him and rey).

connects with rey again, this time with him in a state of partial undress. rey asks him if he could put a shirt on and he doesn't, despite the fact his shirt is on the desk a few feet away. the narrative purpose of this introduction is to show that rey is physically attracted to him and he knows it.

tells rey his story of Luke attempting to kill him, then tells her his nihilistic outlook of “letting the past die.” they disconnect, but rey ends up following his advice and explores the darker part of the island (a metaphor for HER darker side).

Later connects with rey again as she tearfully tells how alone she felt while in the cave attempting to find herself. Him, visibly touched by her story and the fact she trusts him enough to confess something so personal, tearfully tells her that she’s not alone. they then touch hands, doing so granting them visions of the supposed future. Luke angrily blasts apart the cabin, forcefully ending their connection.

Rey flies to him on the Supremacy, and he cuffs her to take her to snoke. (It’s important to mention that in the novel adaptation of the movie, it’s more of a playful and flirtatious banter between the two instead of a prisoner/hostage situation.) While on the elevator rey begs him to join her, as he counters and says that she’ll eventually join him instead.

While in snoke’s throne room, Kylo submissively kneels as snoke tortures rey for information. he occassionally looks up woefully at her, and eventually turns the saber on snoke after saying “he knows what he has to do.” He and rey team up to fight the Praetorian Guards and end up defeating them together.

Pleads with Rey to join him in leading the darkside as rey pleads with him to save the resistance fleet. Kylo tells her that he saw who her parents were and that she was nothing to them and had no place in that particular story. he then clumsily adds “but not to me” and begs her to join him again. the two then fight over the legacy saber, only to have it explode and knock them both back.

passed out from both the blast of the saber and Holdo blasting through the ship, kylo awakens to find rey gone. heartbroken and furious at her supposed betrayal of his trust, he violently declares himself the new Supreme Leader and orders an attack on Crait.

on Crait, he shows that not only is he deeply impulsive, but also an ultimately poor leader. he’s fine until noticing the millenium falcon, then finally loses it in a fury of rage and heartbreak. Luke skywalker understands the irrational state his nephew is in, and takes advantage of his irrationality to aid the resistance. his fight with luke was simply a distraction and taunt, resulting in a massive tactical failure.

kneels in defeat while clutching his father’s lucky dice, only to be connected with rey one more time. she distainfully “shuts the door” on him, and he recoils sadly as the dice disappear.

PRE-TROS

featured in supplimental material as a ruthless leader, hellbent on finding the resistance and eliminating threats to the First Order.

is shown to take plenty of self-assigned solo missions, implying that he doesnt truthfully care about the governmental aspect of being supreme leader.

TROS 

Begins the film on Mustafar, fighting a band of cultists dedicated to Darth Vader, taking the wayfinder they were protecting. in earlier drafts of the movie (as well as probable deleted scenes) Kylo then sees a character known as the Oracle on Mustafar, who cryptically tells him about Palpatine, Rey’s heritage, as well as his affection for rey that he attempts to deny.

he flies to Exogol, where he discovers that it was actually palpatine whos been manipulating him his entire life. threatens to kill palpatine but humors him as palpatine offers promises of utter domination if kylo could kill rey. naturally he has no intention of doing so.

Later connects with rey as she is training. its unclear if hes the one making the training droid react negatively to her or if hes simply observing her and attempting to catch her off-guard.

unites with the knights to rebuild his mask (for some reason).

informs the First Order officials he knows one of them is a spy (for some reason). 

connects with rey as she’s on pasaana, taunting her and stealing her necklace in order to track her location.

arrives to pasaana and witnesses rey trying to drag a ship down. holds back the ship in order to see if she’d tap into the dark side to bring it down, which she does.

follows rey to kijimi as she boards his ship and steals the dagger he has. tells her the “true history” of her parentage while also stating that he’d never lie to her. they fight (him on defensive) and she destroys his room. they meet again in person, him unmasking to show hes being sincere in proposing to her again; saying they’re a dyad and they belong together. she denies, again, and flees. 

meets her again on the Death Star, remarking that neither of them could return to the light since the pair of them are too far ingrained into the dark. He destroys the wayfinder she found, believing they’ll only get to Exogol together. they fight, again, with him on the defensive, again.

towards the end of their fight its clear that rey is exhausted, so he backs away and lowers his weapon. however, at this exact instance, Leia chooses to call out to him via the force. (it is unclear if she does this to distract him or if she does this because she knows she’s ill and wants to see him before she passes.) While he is distracted, rey grabs his saber and fatally stabs him. he collapses, feeling his mother’s death and the resignation that the woman hes in love with ended him. However, rey immediately regrets hurting him and uses the force to heal him. she confesses that had he been Ben rather than Kylo, she would’ve taken his hand. 

While gazing out to sea alone, Kylo hears the voice of his father. He turns, and it met with a vision of Han. Han tells him to “come home” and that the light within Ben was always there. Han caresses his cheek like he did in TFA. Ben, crying, starts to say something but is so overcome with emotion that all he can manage is “dad.” Han smiles and says “i know,” a callback to his line to Leia in ESB.  With the forgiveness of his father and the newfound strength and motivation, ben throws his saber into the ocean, effectively cementing his persona Kylo Ren officially dead.

as rey is in danger on Exogol, Ben flies an abandoned TIE (inferably left in the Death Star wreckage) there and sprints, armed with only a blaster, and launches himself into danger to help rey.

their bond connects as she’s about to pledge to the sith and as the knights of ren are about to kill him. he wordlessly assures her that he’s there for her and that its ok to reveal that shes part of a dyad. she agrees, passing along her saber to him through their bond. Ben kills the Knights as rey kills the sith guardians.

the pair of them reunite, but only for palpatine to sap their life force, made more powerful due to them being a dyad. once significantly weakened, Palpatine launches Ben into a pit. 

After defeating palpatine, rey dies. Ben manages to climb out of the pit and crawls over to rey, severely injured. he then embraces her lifeless body and cries for her, knowing then what he needs to do.

Ben heals rey with the force, bringing her back to life. Rey, elated to see him, cups his face as he cries and smiles feebly. she kisses him and caresses his face again, him smiling and chucking for the first time the entire series. At peace and healed by the redemptive power of being in love and having that person love him back in return.

he then immediately falls over dead and disappears into the force, thereby ruining all semblance of a skywalker legacy and redemption arc. FOR. SOME. REASON.

The Rise of Skywalker (2019)

• a growing list of my thoughts on episode 9 -- spoilers bruh spoilers--

▪︎ His death was really best case scenario for him - imagine returning to the light side to be faced with what you've done: killed his father yes, but also literally millions and millions of other people including entire worlds. Everyone knows who he is and what he's done. There's nowhere in the galaxy he could hide. But imagine knowing that you've done all that he had - how could he possibly live with himself, there's literally nothing he could possibly do to make things right, and the memories in his head of what he's done with his own hands. So, to die having saved Rey from the Emperor and from herself, and inadvertently helping to end the Sith and the war that he helped begin, held in her arms, knowing that he is loved and that he's finally done the right thing - it's really the best end a redeemed villain could ask for.

• Rey killed Kylo Ren with his own saber, and literally healed Ben Solo. Poetic cinema.

▪︎'Dad--' // 'I know.' (!!!!!!!!! kill me)

• They should have had the three together bouncing off one another from the start - that's always been the greatest part of Star Wars, people being friends and bickering and having each other's backs. Actually had an interest in their relationships and in their characters this time. Their hug at the end was emotional and satisfying.

• Rose was always a nothing character to me, she should have died during that crash to make a point to Finn about doing the right thing or fighting the war or whatever. Also love that their kiss was never mentioned again (thank fuck).

▪︎On that note tho - plot holes. Plot holes everywhere. Not even just one or two. A million plot holes. Things mentioned briefly but never explained. Things glossed over and ignored. It's like they made this enormous tale that needed to be smoothed and simplified so you're not distracted every two seconds tryna figure out what matters and what's never gonna be mentioned again

• Chewie falling to his knees and roaring in agony when he finds out that Leia is dead is finally respect to his character and his relationships with his friends who are all fkn dead

▪︎legit nearly walked out when they suggested that Chewie was dead - that would have been 100% unforgiveable

• Ben Solo's death was 100% glossed over and Rey's reaction could have been a lot more poignant and long lasting. Anakin got his funeral, why can't Ben?

• Every minute of every force bond chat and fight was 10/10.

▪︎Fkn hobbit had more screen time than half the characters combined like who tf

▪︎that lil droid was legit funny and adorable but so so clearly another cash grab damn

▪︎Been a long time since I've seen anything sexier than everything that is light-side Ben Solo.

▪︎the ow, the shrug, the smile - little glimpses of the man he was supposed to be, instead of the diabolical, tyrannical, genocidal torturing, manipulative monster he became (rip Ben Solo, your family let you tf down)

▪︎Air punched and almost yelled YES in the cinema when they fucking kisssssssseeedddd!!!!

▪︎Actually really happy with her being a Palpatine, it's the only thing that could make sense and I legit didn't see it coming - being a Kenobi would be too predictable and though Obi Wan defeated Vader at Mustafar, it was because he was so blinded by rage, not because Kenobi was stronger than him

Upon further consideration Rey should have just been Rey. People were so obsessed with who her family were because of course a person is defined by their parents and no way could a random person step up and defeat the bad guys (/s). She didn't have to be related to any legacy character. Heroes are made, not born. She followed the light because she's a good person, and she struggled against the dark because she's human. Gah.

▪︎Actually cried out in shock when she used force lightning to destroy the transport - that is a dark side move my dude, (and Palpatines fav party trick)

▪︎ loved the rehash of Ben and Han's final moments - he said himself he was just Bens memory, and Ben then did what he deep down wanted to do the day he killed him

▪︎Luke snatching the lightsaber out of the air like what the fuck do you think you are doing young lady

▪︎legit woulda been down for Rey to become Empress of the Sith what an ending that would be ey

▪︎Anakin should have showed up

▪︎Once Ben turned light-side he should have been talked to by his dead family members, not Rey.

▪︎Ben, the last Skywalker, should have been the one to defeat Palpatine, who was the one to begin the saga of the Skywalkers. Instead he got yeeted into a hole and spent the final battle time tryna climb out of it.

▪︎Ben should have been a force ghost standing there with his parents, reunited at last

▪︎And when they were both still alive Ben and Leia should have 110% reunited like what the fuckkk

▪︎ Rey should have proudly said that she is 'Just Rey.'

▪︎Finnpoe should have 100% been canon - Oscar Isaac literally admitted scorning the Disney 'overlords' for being cowards, and he played his role as Poe as being romantically involved with Finn. 10/10 best LGBT+ ally.

▪︎why tf would she go to Tatooine? She hates sand. Anakin hated sand. Luke wanted to leave and his last memory of that place is leaving the smoldering bodies of his aunt and uncle behind. Why put his saber there. Leia's never even been there. Why not go to Naboo or some green beautiful place where Rey has always wanted to be? Only fanservice moment really that irked me

▪︎all along all she's wanted was a family - she's made one and found one and yet the movie ends with her standing alone in the sand on a planet shes never been to, with two droids, looking at a horizon that means nothing to her.

▪︎that lightsaber tho (wish we had seen her make it, or decide to make it and explain at all why it's yellow)

▪︎Finn is fkn force sensitive and that's hella cool but like... address it more, make something of this discovery - this is the last movie and this is only just coming up? To be forgotten like all the other plot holes

▪︎liked Palpatine as the all over enemy - should have been more hints throughout the films fo sure to make it feel less outta left field as it did but still could've been a lot worse - but what the fuck is he doing on that Glados arm thing he shouldve been a Sith ghost ala Marka Ragnos not weird zombie sith man

▪︎lightning powers fucking up an entire fleet is fkn siiiiiiickkkk

▪︎would his dumbass really fall for the same ol bounce his own lightning back at him trick? Mmmmmnghhh??

▪︎if someone could explain why/how Leia died and became one with the Force only when Ben died that would be g??

▪︎thought they did Rey's struggle between the dark and the light pretty damn well like shout out to Daisy Ridley

▪︎ wish we had a shot of that vision she had with she and Kylo on the Sith throne together like damn son whhhyyy deprive us of that?? that shit would make my lifeeee

▪︎just everything Adam Driver tho what an actor like damn

▪︎in a story about love and family and winning by saving what you love, there's a whole lot of lovers dying and family members being torn apart and never reconciling. The entire Skywalker line did nothing but fuck up and make mistakes (excluding our Princess) - Anakin was so scared of losing Padme that the power he gained by turning darkside to save her overwhelmed him and resulted in her death, Padme thought it was a good idea to help Anakin defy the Jedi and marry him thus leading to his fear of losing her, Luke went full dark side when he sensed a growing darkness in his nephew and instead of trying to have a chat about his feelings he decided the obvious answer was to just murder him (like what???) thus fully pushing Ben over the edge to become Kylo Ren.

And then every single one of them die. How the fuck is that a satisfying conclusion to their story? I'm sorry but a happy ending to the Skywalker saga is Not the entire family being fucking DEAD. There is no happy ending to their story. Because they're all dead. This is some bullshit.

▪︎give us the almighty rumoured alternate ending you cowards

▪︎Honestly, the Skywalkers deserved better.

do you have any ObiWan recs? Because I l've read ReEntry and all of akathecentimetre's but I'm at a loss for other good prequel based ones

Oh, dear anon, you don’t know what kind of paralysis this gave me for a good solid minute, because I HAVE SO VERY MANY, HOW CAN I POSSIBLY NOT GIVE YOU LITERALLY 200 RECS?  There are so so many good prequels writers out there LET ME YELL AT YOU ABOUT SOME QUALITY FIC.✦Fire and Ice by Yesac is the fic that really got me into prequels fic and is an incredible story about the duel on Mustafar going differently, where Anakin wins and basically takes Obi-Wan and Padme hostage, while he’s this unstable font of power, who actually has to learn some really hard lessons before he can really start to earn his way back to the side of good.  It has some of the best Obi-Wan characterization in any fic I’ve read, the balance of his care for Anakin versus staying true to his morals and the sheer solidity of who he is is *kisses fingers* perfection.✦ starbird by imaginarykat is one of the best characterizations for Obi-Wan I’ve ever read.  wicked thing tends to be more popular (and is also wonderful) but for my money, starbird is the one that really helped me get Obi-Wan as a character, in addition to having some of the most sharply hilarious moments ever.  You really feel the weight of Obi-Wan’s presence and character in this one.✦ Equinox by lilyconrad is gorgeous all the way around!  Even if Sith!Obi-Wan isn’t usually your thing, I would gently encourage giving this one a shot anyway, because it’s not really about Obi-Wan falling into darkness, it’s about Obi-Wan, but it’s not actually Obi-Wan himself, and it’s complicated, but it gets at the heart of the character, while still showing how much of the light he is.  It’s a deliciously lush gothic horror story + his relationship with Anakin that explores who they both are and has some truly stellar smut.  I love all of Lily’s stuff, she writes a lot of Obi-Wan’s character, so you can pick up anything by her!✦ Cataclasm by dendral is amazing as well, it’s a story where Obi-Wan is whammied with some extra Force visions and so he has to walk away from everything he knows to go do some Force-related shit, but he remains so very much himself (and such a Jedi, in such a beautifully told way) and there’s worldbuilding and plot and it’s just gorgeous. someday when i’m gone away we’ll be all okay is also stellar and made me cry the kind of tears where my throat hurt from the lump in it and yet it’s perfect for the characters.  (It’s deathfic, but worth it, imo!)✦ I really love panharmonium’s fics as well, who hasn’t written much, but always has such clear affection for the world and the characters!  The Mathematics of Repair is probably my favorite, it’s sparkling and wonderful just-post-TPM early days of Obi-Wan & Anakin’s relationship!✦ The Living Force; Parables for Padawans by gloriousclio is this really stunning fairy tale-like exploration of Obi-Wan and the Jedi, not just feelings but beautiful wordcraft, too.✦ Smitty has written three STELLAR fics about Obi-Wan and Anakin’s early days and what’s amazing to me is that they were written in NINETEEN-NINETY-NINE and yet utterly NAILED their dynamic! The House That Obi-Wan Built + Sofa, So Good + House of Cards.  The hilariously written snark + underlying care is spot on to their dynamic.✦ In all the World by Ammar is an amazing combination of the early days of Obi-Wan and Anakin’s relationship, worldbuilding, AND case fic!  I remember thinking that this could have been a novel published by Star Wars itself and I would have still been impressed at all the things it absolutely nailed right and built up!✦ Supreme Chancellor Kenobi by stonefreeak is another amazing series where it’s not just about Obi-Wan, but he’s a central figure in it!  And even when she writes other characters she does an incredible job with them, like, the Quinlan piece is one of the best I’ve ever read for him!  Basically it’s exactly what it sounds like–Obi-Wan finds himself suddenly elected to the position of Supreme Chancellor, which means everyone now has breathing room to actually FIX THINGS since Palpatine can’t make them worse, but also it’s HILARIOUS because he kind of really hates it, no matter how good he is at it!✦ The Dark Path Lit by Sun and Stars by A_Delicate_Fury is a gorgeous time travel fic that does an amazing job with his character.  There are small moments with Luke that just floored me with how many feelings they gave me, but also the fic just nails everything it wants to do.  Plot!  Characterization!  Keeping me on the edge of my seat!  Action scenes!✦ Soldier, Poet, King by Glare is a fave because I’m weak for Soft Sith stuff in fandom, especially when there’s such a charm to the writing of his and Anakin’s relationship.  I still remember these great scenes of Anakin’s mental landscape form and how Obi-Wan interacted with him, that sense of all that power and Obi-Wan’s hand metaphorically on the back of his neck, their dynamic is so good.  Plus plot!  \:D/✦ I love everything by Ripki, but you can start with The Atlas of Our Ruin, which is a time-travel fic that forces Obi-Wan and Anakin to really tear into all the difficult stuff from their pasts and spill everything out everywhere, in an attempt to lance the wounds.  It’s a gorgeous look at both their characters and the relationship between them, it’s SO TASTY to read and ouchy-but-cathartic in the best way.✦ The Journey of the Lights by Pandora151 is more time travel fic (this fandom is really good at them) that just consumed me while I was reading it, where Qui-Gon is dumped forward into the future and it winds up forcing some things to come to a head early, and there’s a lot of Obi-Wan having to juggle a lot of different relationships and difficulties, and it’s SO GOOD.✦ Remedial Jedi Theology by MarbleGlove is the kind of Legends-based (instead of Canon-based) fic that I love to see, because it’s so THOUGHTFUL about the Jedi and their philosophy/theology, as well as some really stellar Obi-Wan characterization.  He’s going through A Lot in this fic, but he faces all of it and himself and his growing understanding of everything (because we never stop growing and understanding) with such cleverness and skill.  There’s some quality Mace moments in the fic as well and some great Anakin stuff, but it’s at its heart an Obi-Wan fic and it was a joy to read.✦ Seed by belldreams is one of my favorites for how much heavy lifting it does with Obi-Wan and balancing his feelings with being a Jedi.  There’s such good, thoughtful characterization here, where he really has to look at himself and he really thinks things through, there’s such a solidity to his character here that is SPOT ON.  Also, FUCK OR DIE FIC, we were blessed by this one.  (Upfall also has some really quality Obi-Wan thoughts, too!)✦ In All But Name by Mirror and Image is one I read early on in fandom, so I can’t speak to how well it would hold up for me re: the relationship with the Jedi (I suspect not as well as my fond memories would suggest) but that’s a personal quibble and the point is that it’s really good Obi-Wan focus and it’s all about him beginning to train Anakin on Naboo instead of going to the Jedi Temple, there’s a whole lot of focus on children’s education, because that’s what the authors teach as well, so this one totally engrossed me.  I remember Coalesced Matter was a good Dooku & Obi-Wan & Anakin fic, too!✦ In fairness, I haven’t read Reprise by Elfpen yet (I’m hoarding it) but I’ve enjoyed the other fic I’ve read from this author, so I feel confidence giving this a rec.  Plus, it’s all my favorite things, like TIME TRAVELING OBI-WAN.  :D✦ The Exchange by MissLearn is another one I loved, where it’s centered on the Obi-Wan & Anakin relationship, as they exchange places in time and that forces a lot of things to come out, but it gives me SUCH FEELINGS and the characters around them were written wonderfully and UGH SO GOOD.✦ Shadows of the Future bystormqueen873 is one I haven’t read since the very early days of my reading, so I can’t say how it would hold up, but I remember being utterly IN LOVE with this story and how much it fixed.  One of the things that it really did well was building up to the big reveal of Obi-Wan’s time traveling, that the fic really knew how to ratchet up to that moment so that, when it finally happened, I had SO MANY FEELINGS about it.  Plus, lots and lots of warm-hearted, fluffy slice-of-life moments as everything gets fixed!✦ I like all of anecdotalist’s fics, but starting with Clarity is probably best, it’s a nice long fic that fixes a lot of what goes wrong during ROTS and just utterly engrossed me.  Plot!  Action scenes!  Anakin being a disaster, but listening to people who actually want to help him!  Though, The Fallout of Anakin Skywalker’s Knighting will always have a special place in my heart for making me cry over feelings about Obi-Wan.✦ Tano and Kenobi by Fireflyfish is time traveling Ahsoka this time, who becomes Obi-Wan’s Master and everything starts slowly shifting towards the right (or sometimes just straight up blowing over to the right) and it’s a DELIGHT to see their dynamic, to see Ahsoka really growing into the role of being a Master, to see Obi-Wan’s relationship with her grow.✦ The Hand Dealt by not paranoid enough is one I read awhile back, but it’s a Canon Divergent fic, where things go a little differently on Tatooine and it’s sort of a mix between a slow burn and just being about the early days of his relationship with Anakin, and I remember it being REALLY GOOD.✦ I like everything of Valairy Scot’s that I’ve read, she’s another Legends writer that really is a lot of fun, and I’d say start with A Good Place To Die.  It’s pretty much an entire novel of Obi-Wan whump + recovery, which it REALLY embraces and is super satisfying if you’re into that sort of thing!  Plus, man, Anakin is SPOT ON in this fic, for how deeply he cares, how brilliant he is, but also what a disaster he is when he can’t get out of his own head.  I also remember really liking Our Honored Dead.✦ I also like wreckageofstars’ stuff as well!  Echoes of Mortis is an ensemble piece, but it’s satisfying for his character and has great plot and action and things diverging from canon in a fascinating way!  Also a HILARIOUSLY GREAT read is Obi-Wan and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad (Life) Day which is just as funny as promised.I AM MISSING SO MANY GOOD OBI-WAN FICS, BUT THIS WILL GET YOU STARTED.  I LOVE OBI-WAN KENOBI AND I LOVE THIS FANDOM FOR PROVIDING ME WITH GOOD STUFF.

Planets and Star Wars ... an ask

Ok, dear, @jd1234fan, for some weird reason I am not able to answer your ask, but I managed to capture it and will address it. This is the message I got:

Thank you so much for reaching out and the kind words. They are deeply appreciated!  This is all good. Of course you are supposed to think of the planets in terms of symbolism for states of minds or states of beings, internal conflicts and the evolution within the psyche of the characters. And you understood it beautifully.

I think it is highly revealing that they have Rey and Kylo meet, as you point it out, in such a classic fairy tale environment. This is a place that has achieved perfect balance in terms of environment. It is the ideal. And this is where they meet. Not Finn and Rey. But Rey and Kylo. The balance planet, the dream, the ideal. Because that’s the goal, and there is no other place where they could have met, not even Jakku when they actually got so close to each other and where their near proximity sets everything in motion. But had they met in Jakku for real, I would not have given much about the outcome of their relationship. But it did not happen this way. And they chose the most perfect background for the core couple.

About planet symbolism, and if you are interested, I will if you don’t mind, point you towards different metas I posted on this topic. References and some extracts. Sorry, if it appears disjointed

Meeting in the forest: Comparing TFA with Legend by Ridley Scott-part 2

Their first ever meeting takes place on Takodana, in an environment, that, in a way, strikes as totally alien for both of them. Neither seems to belong there, and with their costumes (a far cry from Endor camouflages attire in ROTJ), they stick out like sore thumbs. He has been established as belonging in the darkness and high technology environment of the First Order, she has been established in the blank page of a desert, and has never seen such green in her life before. And since we first discover this place through Rey’s eyes, it is truly depicted as a fairy tale, an enchanted, Eden-like environment, complete with a lake and a castle. I will even add that it is a forest that is for the audience eerily familiar. There was no attempt at creating an imaginary forest with bizarre plants and creatures. The point is not only to keep the focus on the characters but also to put them, for us, in a very identifiable context,something that taps into our universal conscience. We are in the woods, a no man’s land, rich with subtext and infinite literary plots, in a place that marks boundaries between light and dark, culture and nature. We know these woods, we have read so much about them before, heard countless stories. Brought together by fate in a set that has been ripped out of the pages of a fairy tale book, Kylo and Rey become, de facto, fairy tale characters.

More on Takodana and the Edenic planets: I was flabbergasted to discover that my entire essay on Visions of Paradise has apparently totally disappeared. I am guessing due to the inclusion of “BLUSH” paintings of naked freaking Adam and Eve!!!! I am shocked, but I will repost it. Not even a notice to warn me about that!!!This is an extract in the meantime:

VISIONS OF PARADISE

Each FIRST installment of the trilogies presents us with a lost paradise: Naboo in the PT, Alderaan in the OT, Takodana in the ST. What do all these worlds have in common?: lush greenery, water, lakes, waterfalls, gorgeous castles or castle-like structures.

They are also most decidedly the place of the mother, a stance that strays from the male-centric vision of a Garden ruled by God the Father and Adam, the creature made in His image. Naboo, Alderaan, and Takodana are literally and/or symbolically ruled by female figures: the elected Queen of Naboo, Padmé Amidala; Queen Breha Organa on Alderaan; Maz Kanata on Takodana. In the symbolic of Star Wars, these three women are mother or godmother figures: Padmé is the mother of Luke and Leia, Breha Organa is the adoptive mother of Leia, and Maz plays a bit the role of a fairy godmother to Rey, by giving her the saber and her advice.

What do these places of paradise also have in common?: they get smashed, right off the bat, by conflicts, attacks, war, utter destruction in Alderaan’s case. Every paradise is a paradise lost… Moreover, these visions of paradise, like the Garden of Eden, actually already hold the seed to their own destruction, they are not as guiltless as one might presume: Naboo is already rife with inner conflicts between the Naboo and the Gungan, and the core of the pristine and exquisitely civilized home to the city of Theed is peopled by devouring monsters; Alderaan (that Leia presents as peaceful) is probably a spy nest plotting the Empire’s destruction (rightfully, but still, not as innocent as portrayed); and Takodana’s castle is actually Mos Eisley Cantina glossed-over with a castle, a derelict version of the past splendour of Naboo and Alderaan. 

So, to sum up, the vision we get of paradise in EVERY trilogy of the saga is that of the homeplace, the womb, the place of the mother, destroyed or attacked, and the characters forced to leave it behind, or snatched away from it. It is the classic myth of coming of age, with the initial trauma of being separated from the mother, something that you could link with the article I wrote about the metaphor of growing up in Star Wars.

There are also some interesting differences of course. Naboo and Alderaan are intimately connected with two leading female characters: it is the birthplace of Padmé, and the adoptive home of Leia, a place that they both see as a happy place, with lots of fond childhood memories (in Padmé’s case explicitely in AOTC). For both women, it is also a place they will never be able to come home to, because it is ultimately connected with death. Padmé wanted to give birth to her child on Naboo, but will only come back as a corpse.

For Leia, it is the death of her entire adoptive family, and the annihilation of the whole planet as a test to the new power of the Death Star. As the first released version of Paradise in  Star Wars (albeit not chronologically for the story), Alderaan is actually really interesting: this was a Paradise that we were meant to never see, the Paradise that was promised but never attained, as we watched with horror, along with Leia, the destruction of a planet that we did not know one thing of, but that she described as a peaceful place. It took the brief glimpse at the end of the PT, in ROTS, to see what Alderaan looks like.

Takodana, on the other hand, has nothing to do with any of the leading characters, not even with the main female character. As far as we know at this point, this is not her home planet or a planet linked to her childhood or her family. It is irrelevant to her personal background. Yet, it is clearly presented to Rey as a vision of Paradise, and becomes “incidentally”  the place where she gets her first brush with the Force (through Anakin’s lightsaber) and gets to meet Kylo Ren.

So, to come back to the notion of Paradise, in the Biblical story, and in Milton’s poem, when you think of Paradise, you think of Adam and Eve. And, as far as the shoe fits, this can only seem to apply to Naboo and Takodana… with twists. Padmé and Anakin do NOT meet in Paradise, they meet on his homeplanet, Tatooine, that hardly qualifies to the title (sand…. yuck…). PM ends with both of them on Naboo though, during the celebration after the victory against the droid army. When they meet again, it is on Coruscant (not Paradise, obviously). But for them as a couple, Naboo is the place where they fall in love, share a first kiss, and eventually get married (and have sex…one can only assume…).

Adam and Eve seem at first glance a non-issue in the OT, even though, if you really want to nitpick, the fact that Han and Leia do share the last kiss of the movie in a forest has to mean something on some level. I will argue later that there is a rewriting of Adam and Eve, but with a variation.

In the ST, though, the Adam and Eve subtext is obviously back by having Rey and Kylo meet in a forest on a place that is designed as a vision of Paradise insofar as it reminds us visually of the planets that have so far represented Paradise in this universe.

And even more as the characters are clearly construed (admittedly by the cast and directors) as two halves. If Eve is most of the time represented as being formed with Adam’s rib, some have argued that there was a misunderstanding or a mistake in translation and that she was actually “a side of” Adam, aka his half (hence, my better half when talking about your spouse…). Much has been said about the fact that Kylo departs this place symbolically claiming Rey as his bride: by carrying her in his arms and insisting that he has all that he needs. Eve is also all that Adam needed, the one that was meant to be his.

Visions of Hell about Mustafar and likewise planets:Visions of Hell…

And of course about Crait: Blood and Sand on Crait: the Bull and the Matador… and a story of Blood in the SW movies

Crait and Symbolism: blood, wounds, salt, foxes, the mother and the nest.

I really like the way you felt that the aridity and “masculinity” of Jakku meant that Rey needs to find out about womanhood. Yes, that is definitely part of the journey. Instead of masculinity, I would myself rather envision the arid planets of Jakku and Tatooine as the white page, the blank space where a story needs to be written. A void is what it is. The main difference between Tatooine in the OT and Jakku in the ST is that in the OT we were indeed starting on a totally empty page, with no preconceived ideas about the world we were going to discover, or the characters we were about to follow. In Jakku, very poetically, this blank page is “polluted”, or distracted, by the corpses and remains of the OT world, the Imperial destroyers, the mementos of the past... As it should be. Because we, as an audience, are not a blank space anymore when it comes to SW. We know of some stuff. And this stuff jumps onto the page and our interpretation of the story constantly... And like Rey, we have been going about, shelling carcasses of the story for a very long time, between the end of the OT, as well as the PT, before finally accessing new material...

I don’t know what to expect from IX. I’m really hoping it is endgame and they don’t just drop the romance angle, but it’s also kind of what I’m expecting? Like I don’t expect follow-through from it, even though I would love it if it happened

Hi Nonnie, 

I totally get it. I understand that completely. Do I think it’s endgame? Yes. 

However am I going into IX with any expectations? NOPE. I’m a fandom granny. No seriously I have lived through so many fandoms that I simply go in with no expectations. That way if what I think might happen if even in some small way happens then I will be super happy and overjoyed and if it doesn’t I am usually able to divorce myself from my disappointment and respect the creator’s vision.

As a writer and someone who was professionally trained to do so, I know that creators have a vision. They have an endgame in mind. And they drop breadcrumbs about it from the beginning and if you’re clever enough to see them you usually can figure out any story. 

This is why I ruin police procedurals for my mom. My dad and I made a game of it watching Law and Order as a kid growing up (and I mean OG Law and Order with Det. Lenny Briscoe). Whomever could figure out who committed the murder first won. We used to keep a running tally. My dad was really good at it, but when I got really into reading and started reading mystery novels and horror novels and other stories that rely heavily on mystery boxes I started getting better at it. We also watched Law and Order because my two actor 2nd cousins have been guest stars as defense lawyers idk how many times but that’s neither here nor there.

And tbh ESB’s twist of Vader as Luke’s father came as such a shock because IDK if even Lucas really knew he was going to do it until he did it. Luckily the story was vague enough in ANH that a throw away line about certain points of view was enough to close what could have been a crippling plot hole. 

My mom is an OG Star wars fan. Mostly bc she loves the pew pew and the lightsaber battles, and secondly because Harrison Ford is a very handsome and talented man (tbh my first crush was Han Solo and second was Indy).

My mom was there when everyone was UP IN ARMS about Leia and Luke kissing. And how that was SOOOOOO going to be endgame. Which originally Lucas had intended that Leia would be a love interest for Luke and that the twin sister would be revealed in 7, 8 and 9 someday. However during writing ROTJ and filming ESB he decided to really hone in on Leia and Han’s chemistry (granted Irving was directing then) but he made the narrative choice to make Leia the sister and Han her love interest. It simultaneously elevated Leia’s narrative importance and made her the leading lady of her own story on equal footing to her equally powerful twin brother instead of just being Luke’s sidekick love interest.

Even when I was a KID and I saw ESB it always kind of made me laugh that Leia’s response to Han goading her about liking him was to smack lips with the only other humanoid male in the room just to prove how NOT smitten she was with Han. (AND if that doesn’t make her simultaneously Padme and Anakin’s child I don’t know what will convince you otherwise).

TPM came out when was was 13 and a half which will be 20 yrs ago next May - HOLY FUCK. And I’ve been an avid reader since I could read so I had gobbled up countless numbers of books by then. I was in the theater with my parents and legit held my hand up over Ian’s eyes and gasped and tugged on my mom’s sleeve. 

“Mom that’s THE EMPEROR” and she was like “No honey he’s just a senator who’s now chancellor of the republic”

And this was still in the age of Dial-up internet and no IMDB. So I did my own digging and found our VHS copies of the OT and looked at the cast listing at the end of the movie. And saw the same name playing the Emperor as the man playing Senator-Chancellor Sheev Palpatine. Now the movies in the OT never actually say the Emperor’s real name. He’s just the shadowy, scary Emperor with lightning bolts shooting out of his hands. So like we knew in TPM that Palpy was going to become the emperor. Now say what you will about the Prequels but Lucas did do a fair bit of narrative arc planning with it than what he threw together with the OT. 

He knew we had to meet Anakin as a boy, see him as a caring and compassionate individual who is uniquely gifted in the Force. And that had circumstances been different he would have probably been the paragon force sensitive and balanced the force. However due to realistic flaws of all characters, good and bad alike, including flaws within Anakin’s character himself he falls prey to the darkside and it’s temptations and then becomes the very thing he feared.

Tbh next to TLJ, ROTS is right up there with ESB as my favorite in the saga. Sure the dialogue is wooden and clunky. Lucas is not a dialogue director. He’s a vision director. He has a scene in his mind, and he wants it played like that. Which is fine. He also came from a school of thought in the 1970s where sci-fi was pure camp and overdramatic. His style never really changed. The OT is so lauded because he didn’t direct all of them. He had other people come in and he had script doctoring and his first wife in the editing room taking his vision and turning it into a cohesive narrative. We seem to forget that Lucas was a young dude right out of film school when he made ANH. He barely knew how to string a narrative together and the early cuts of ANH were terrible and nowhere near what people saw in the theater. Don’t believe me? Google “how star wars was saved in the editing room” it’s a remarkable story about how Lucas’s first wife and principal editor basically made ANH into an actual story instead of a mish mash of ideas that it was before. The prequels had Lucas at the helm for all three. Yes by then he had gotten a hold of narratively what he wanted to convey, but he still didn’t always convey it in the most efficient ways.

But there are moments in the prequels that I’m stunned by their perfection. “This is how liberty dies? With thunderous applause.” as Padme watches in horror as the Republic becomes an empire before her eyes. It’s perfect to convey the horror she feels and her disgust at what the thing she’s fought for so long to just crumble and slip away. 

Or the entirety of the Anakin v. Obi Wan Mustafar battle. Visually STUNNING, and heartbreaking. You can feel how much neither of them want to fight the other but how they both are so entrenched in their now opposite ideologies that they know they have to fight. 

I’ve also been a fan of JJ’s for a long time. 

Sure he loves mystery boxes but he usually makes the answer SO obvious that most people ignore it. 

Like on Lost which I never actually watched save for maybe a few episodes, it’s pretty clear that something metaphysical is going on in that island with the crash. And there are clues dating back to the pilot as to what happened in the finale. 

In TFA we’re introduced to Rey. We’re given a mystery box of who is Rey and why is she important and who is her family. But we’re also given the answer. She’s no one. And that’s why she’s important. She is no one. She doesn’t need to have this huge galactic sized legacy on her shoulders to be important, to be special. SHE IS NO ONE. And that’s why the Force chose her as its vessel. 

Reason why is that she’s narratively the perfect foil for her counterpart Ben Solo/Kylo Ren. He has all that legacy and weight on his shoulders. They’re equals in power in strength, in light and darkness. They are complete equals. And TFA was all about establishing that fact. Now TLJ was all about deepening that initial connection. To get them both to scratch beneath the surface of one another, and get under one another’s skin. In doing so Ben learned that Rey just wants to belong, to be loved and have a place in the galaxy. And Rey, she learned that Ben is just as lonely, but has rejected his birthright because he felt rejected and abandoned by those who should have unconditionally loved and protected him from Snoke (which granted OT Trio tried but they def didn’t have great parenting examples either sooooo).

Now as an adult Ben is bitter, full of resentment and rage because the people he should have been able to count on fucked up royally. And I love that. I resonate with it because of my own experiences as an abuse survivor too. But even more so because it makes Han, Leia and Luke less perfect legends and more human. It makes them real and relatable that they tried to do everything right by their kiddo but ended up fucking him up.  Luke’s betrayal itself was the least shocking part of TLJ tbh. Like does no one remember him going ABSOLUTELY banana balls insane when Vader threatened Leia in ROTJ?

That kind of Skywalker level extra doesn’t just go away with age. 

And yeah Ben needed someone in the fam to be like “so kid, um, lets talk about this.” No one in the OT Trio is good at talking about their feelings. Luke tries to control his by just not dealing with it - the kind of thing you’d expect from a “pray the depression away” type. Leia ignores it and bottles that shit until it comes out as thinly veiled anger. And Han is the most ridiculous of the three with his constant hot and cold routine throughout ESB.

The ST is yes about the failures of the OT trio, the failures of the Jedi and the Sith. But it’s also a story about the force and it’s two chosen vessels. A girl from nowhere and the last scion of the Skywalker line. The fact that their connections in TLJ are coded as sexual awakenings is very indicative of where I think this is all going to go. The Force is basically the Skywalker Patriarch if we’re going on the whole immaculate conception with Shmi. And Ben fell from his path for years now thanks to the other Skywalkers falling from the path and inadvertently pushing him down the rabbit hole with Snoke, manipulating everything like a master of puppets. 

JJ himself even said he was upset that he didn’t get to direct TLJ because he loved Rian’s script so much. 

I have faith we’re going to get a hell of a finish to the 9 film Skywalker saga. With Reylo as endgame or not I think we’re going to get something truly satisfying that links all 9 movies together in a way that will have meta writers writing for years to come about all the parallels and thematic Leitmotifs within the narrative as a whole that encompasses technically 4 generations of Skywalkers (Shmi, Anakin, Luke/Leia, and Ben).

When Ben killed Han in TFA and you get that focused in shot of Adam’s face as the weight of what he just did HITS him and his eyes widen and his lips part, you see the exact moment he shatters his soul realizing that he just seriously fucked up. I leaned over to my best friend that night in the midnight showing and said “do you smell redemption arc?” and I’ve been on that train from day one. 

If he were truly irredeemable he wouldn’t have split his spirit to the bone by killing his father. He wouldn’t have cared to try to convince Rey to be her teacher in the middle of their battle. He wouldn’t care that Rey stares at him like she did that night and call him a monster. A real monster wouldn’t care at being called one. And is so very shook and pained by that moniker with his lower lip quiver and his eyes red rimmed. If he were truly irredeemable he wouldn’t have killed his master just to save the girl, he’d have just usurped power and shrugged her off instead of trying to convince her to stay with him. He wouldn’t have addressed her fear and insecurity of being nothing and no one while shaking his head and saying “but not to me”. If he were truly a monster he would have pulled the damn trigger when his had the bridge of the Raddus in his sights but couldn’t because he felt his mother’s love for him even after everything he’s done.

Has he done terrible things? YES. He definitely has. But he has the equal potential for amazing things as much as he has for the terrible things he’s done. And I for one will be happy to see him begin to even slightly embrace that potential by the end of ep 9. Reylo or no Reylo I’m sure I’m going to be happy with ep 9. There’s no way Adam and so many other brilliant actors would have signed on without at least knowing where this is all gonna go. Adam himself was hesitant to take on the burden of SW but was convinced to do so because of the complexity of Ben’s character. That to me says we’re getting something amazing in ep9. And I can’t wait.

What Reylo scenes would you want to happen in Episode IX? In the context of there being no limitations (PG-13 rating, things Disney wouldn't do, the plot (within reason))? Thanks!

(please excuse my lack of coherence but tlj, unlike tfa, left me with lots of question marks on the future evolution of reylo. It unexpectedly covered most of my preexisting predictions for this ship while also leaving their relationships unresolved, so I’m currently in the process of adjusting my predictions to the new circumstances and the changed dynamic and I’m just going to spitball in no particular order and no attempt at sticking to any coherent idea of plot)

number one on my wishlist is a deepening of the force bond in terms of what they can feel and how they can use it

I want the force bond to explored from different angles: what it means in terms of force lore, why it happened to them, what makes them special to the Force, how do they physically feel, how they deal with this intimacy they don’t understand now that they’ve hurt and disappointed each other so much. But I also want them to study it, as opposed to passively experience it. Perhaps try to manipulate the bond to either shut the other out or keep an eye or each other or (also) use it in an attempt to weaken the other in a duel

I want to see new visual ways to convey how the bond progressively grows and expands between them. So bring on all kinds of obscure lynchian visions, shared dreams, nightmares about each other dying, sensing each other’s approaching, tapping into each other’s conscience and deeply buried memories of their childhood and past abuse (that would be an awesome way to include a snoke flashback, as well as more details of rey’s parents), even better if the other’s present self is there to witness it too

at least an antagonistic duel filled with angst and rage and betrayal on either part, physical and raw and bloody. Yes I want to see some blood. (you said no rating limitations) I can imagine their duel to quickly turn into a battle of wills in which they try to overpower the other via the force bond

rey could use some of kylo’s signature tactics like the force stun and the force choke on kylo himself (which would obviously both terrify and turn him on)

even better if, at some time prior to this climatic duel, rey asked kylo to teach her to use those powers and he agreed—knowing fully well that she means to use them against him, but he’s self destructive like that and he is perversely fascinated by the idea of her being the fated angel of death who will finally put him out of his misery. Rey feels that and it upsets her in a similar way seeing him beat his own wounds on starkiller did

they’re both miserable without each other, but they don’t want to show it, so this leads to at least one scene in which Kylo tries desperately to pretend he hates Rey but as soon as she shows up all he can do is stutter and spit some badly rehashed insults while also looking like he’s about to cry. Rey can’t speak at all

perhaps this happens in the throne room while Renperor is sitting on the throne. Maybe they should continue the tradition of rey ending up in enemy territory (better if willingly), or maybe this time it’s Kylo who is captured by the resistance, and rey is conflicted about it and feels his pain as he’s wounded and kept prisoner, and after a while she secretly sets him free 

arguing on the jedi texts via force skype

arguing on how to rebuild the legacy saber via force skype

kylo being an insufferable know-it-all nerd

more force bond shenanigans: feeling the other’s physical pain (maybe because they’re being tortured or beaten in combat) but not being able to see the other (since the force is mad at them and they’re mad at each other, the bond won’t work properly for at least 1/3 of the movie), and going crazy with panic while also being in unspeakable physical pain through the bond

the eroticism of the force bond should be amped up, pg-13 be damned. Give me all the awkward and increasingly bolder force-touching, feeling each other’s arousal at the worst times, teasing and taunting each other, the unresolved sexual tension getting more and more literal, seeing each other naked, rey and kylo trying to keep their forbidden psychic affair secret to their respective organizations, while also being more and more desperate for each other

Rey struggling with the dark side. Perhaps accidentally unleashing her powers in a moment of wrath and killing someone in the process, then plagued by guilt and blind panic going to Kylo for advice

Alternatively Rey having a conflict with Poe and/or Finn once they learn of the bond. Poe wants to keep her in custody or use the bond to lure Kylo in a trap. Rey is furious and she runs away (to Kylo). I can honestly see Finn being deeply hurt by Rey’s bond with Kylo, but ultimately choosing to support her. (this could also mean interesting things for the poe/finn dynamic

let’s be real: a version of the Most Tropey Reylo Trope, aka Stranded Together On A Mysterious And Remote Corner Of The Galaxy, HAS to happen in some form eventually

especially if one of them is injured when this happens. Let’s say both.

they end up on the Falcon together. they tend on each other’s wounds (more shirtless moments, probably). Rey cups Kylo’s face in a callback to Han’s gesture, traces his scar from his cheek down his chest. Major ship tease moment 

perhaps this is followed by a galactic trip to either find some ancient artifact or to collect some crucial information to their understanding of the Force, the Galaxy, the Balance and their role in all of this, that would lead to some earth-shattering reveal 

maybe they go find the Bendu to inquire about the balance, possibly after reading some cryptic line in the jedi books

at some point, they should go back to Jakku. Would really love to see Kylo’s walking with his billowy dark robes through a sand storm and them finding shelter in Rey’s old AT-AT and Kylo seeing the scratches on the wall

there should also be some sort of cliff scene or an equivalent, because I’ve become attached to that pre-tlj headcanon; though, clearly, now that their dynamic has evolved it wouldn’t make sense for it to play exactly like it would have for eight

in general I want them to be alone with each other on an inhospitable planet, better if connected to the dark side. Like Mustafar, or somewhere in the unknown regions (Malachor?)

Leia’s funeral. Rey helps Kylo connect with his mother one last time via the force bond, letting him touch her face with her hand. 

Kylo cries in Rey’s arms.

Rey meeting the Knights of Ren?

probably some version of the forceback scene, though part of me believes tlj covered it with kylo killing snoke (note how the forceback has rain in it—foreshadowing the intense bond manifesting on ahch-to, and the “clan leader” could be a metaphor for snoke)

one of them (or both) will try to find a way to sever the bond permanently. maybe during the galactic trip hey learn of an ancient ritual and they agree to perform it and Kylo goes first but halfway through it Rey realizes it’s too painful (both physically for Kylo and emotionally for both of them) and she implores him to stop

“I can’t lose you”

Hux’s hostility only grows bigger and bigger and Kylo starts feeling threatened. Rey feels it through the bond, she panics. 

Hux finds out what’s going on with them and uses it to set up a trap to kill two birds with one stone and get rid of both Kylo and Rey. Maybe he imprisons Kylo after neutralizing his force powers.

how would he? well since Hux really hates the Force for being an advantage he has no access to, it makes sense to me that he’d try to ~kill it~. Now I obviously don’t think anyone can kill the Force, but maybe accidentally stumbling upon some old sacred text or artifact or creating a device that allows him to permanently sever the tie that binds the Force to all living beings? i.e. destroying force-sensitivity?

this could easily be the ultimate evil to defeat, and the final turning point for kylo—learning that his “side” of the war is actively trying to destroy his most beloved driving principle, the very thing he’s in service to? That should make him reevaluate his allegiances and spontaneously ask Rey’s help to stop this. (I originally wanted Snoke to be behind this, but I gotta admit Hux works better, with  his deep-seated resentment of force-sensitive beings)

sometime in act III there’s a huge battle and the resistance is being decimated and Rey is losing her fight and is almost unconscious and all hope seems lost and then suddenly Kylo’s ship appears and starts firing on the First Order and then he lands (a callback to the first time we saw him in the trilogy) and goes to join Rey while she’s watching all of this in a sort of semi-conscious slow motion haze and all she can think is, he came back for me

third time’s the charm, so there has to be a third offer, and this time the other will accept it. I’m not sure if I want Rey to be the one who offers Kylo, or Kylo to Rey

REYLO KISS. now I think we have VERY decent chances of actually seeing one in canon. But without the pg-13 limit? It starts as extremely sweet and tentative (Rey initiates it) and then deepens and SETS THE SCREEN ON FIRE. I’m torn between this happening in an intimate, quiet moment or during/after a fight (think the end of the praetorian guard scene for reference).

THEY FUCK. no rating limits. Unleash your imagination.

(better if they fuck while thinking this is going to be their first and last time, like the night before the battle that will decide both their fates, or kylo’s fate if he’s going to be executed by the resistance)

finally, i want to see them using the Force together. in some huge thing. Like stopping a death ray firing on a planet. (Coruscant or Naboo) Impossible? Maybe. But Kylo, alone, could stop a blaster mid air. Imagine what he could do with Rey

Rewatching “Rogue One”

Prepare for the pain.  Lots of pain.

A LONG TIME AGO, IN A GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY...

WHERE BE OPENING MUSIC?!?!?

That shot of the planet’s rings is so cool...

What planet is it called again?

MADS MIKKELSEN!  DAT BOI!

God, Galen Erso is probably the best and most important side character in this movie.  I will fight anyone that bad mouths him.

*Saw appears on Lyra’s ‘Skype’ cam*  BOOGITY!

So, do I have this right:  the Death Troopers are basically the Star Wars equivalent of the Super Soldiers from “Captain America:  Civil War” except they’re part kinda zombie?  Is that right?

So if Grand Admiral Thrawn has the authority to have Death Troopers, how is Director Krennic able to?

Theory Time:  is Lyra Force-Sensitive?

*Krennic appears*  Hey, it’s me!

A little backstory for this:  me and @theimpossiblescheme were talking about Krennic one day and I pointed out that I’m a lot like Krennic in that A) I would indeed put my feet up on my desk, sit back, and sip a martini (basically what he did in the Rogue One novelization) and B) we both freak out over anything and everything.  Lo and behold, the association stuck with me.

Where did they film this opening scene because it’s fantastic.

“Oh look, it’s Lyra, back from the dead.  It’s a miracle.”

What I find really interesting is that young Jyn has a toy Stormtrooper.  It’s reminiscent to little kids have action figures of famous people and superheroes.

*whispers*  Her lantern looks like a holocron...

I’m gonna be honest here and please don’t hate me for this but I think Jyn’s characterization is “Meh” compared to everyone else’s.  The first time I saw this in theaters, I noted that she’s not really as interesting as the other characters.  She’s kinda like Katniss in that matter.

*Cassian appears*  Diego Luna!

So Cassian’s a Fulcrum agent?  Are we gonna see him in Rebels?

“It’s the pilot... the detector.”  You’re that one dude in the pre release pics for Rebels S4!

Wobani... is an anagram... of Obi-Wan...

“Congratulations, you are being rescued.”  To quote CinemaSins:  “TUDYKKK!!!!”

Wait, that’s Major Sholto from “Sherlock”!

Mon Mothma!

“What does this got to do with my father?”  Honey, it’s Star Wars; everything is father-related.  If you don’t have a problem with your dad or have a secret sibling, something’s seriously wrong.

The Force theme!

There’s the Ghost!

So what planet does Yavin 4 reside under?

Holy crap, that Geonosian sand really got to Saw...

In all honesty, if you could remove one character from this movie, it’s Saw.  He was kind of an unnecessary addition in my opinion.

BOR GULLET!  BOOGITY!

Something Gareth Edwards, the director, is amazing at is showing you the SIZE of things.  He did the 2014 Godzilla movie and you can clearly see how HUGE it is and he did the same thing with the Death Star under construction.

So how old is Jyn when it comes to the Star Wars canon?

OK, looked it up on Wikipedia:  she’s 21 at the events of this movie.  That only makes her like 2 years older than Ezra in S3...

Is there really any point to this mind reading octopus thing that Saw has?  No, no there isn’t.

Cassian:  Stay on the ship.

K2:  OK (follows them anyway out of sheer boredom)

OK, Chirrut just has to be Force-sensitive.  Maybe that’s how he “sees;” he uses the Force or something.

Saw’s little band of guerilla attackers reminds me a lot of the extremists in al Qaeda.  Maybe that was intentional, I dunno...

“I am taking them... to imprison them... in prison.”

I just realized that Chirrut is wearing a Stormtrooper belt.  That’s badass.

God dang I love Donnie Yen as Chirrut.

K2:  We have no fear.

*Baze points a BFG at him*  One fear.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?  I’M BLIND!

AP?  Or a bot of a similar model?

It’s a physical game of dejarik!

“Are we not still friends?”  Lemme check.... NO!

“It’s a trap, isn’t it?”  Yes.  Everything’s a trap.  The entirety of Star Wars is a trap.

“You’re the pilot?”  “I’m the pilot.”  *sings* YOU ARE, HURRAH FOR BODHI ROOK!  AND IT ‘TIS, IT ‘TIS A GLORIOUS THING TO BE SIR BODHI ROOK!

Galen...

God, this speech is so freaking good...

“Think of where you are...”  *tearfully starts singing Hamilton lyrics*

I legit got upset in the theater when Galen died.

“My God, it’s beautiful.”  This bit is fantastic.

“I’m not very optimistic about our odds.”  NEVER TELL ME THE ODDS!

*Saw unplugs his emergency air and dies*  Well at least there’s someone else who chews the scenery more than him.

Get it?  It’s the planet.  XD

“I will be taking control of the weapon that I first spoke of years ago, effective immediately.”  *cue Kill Bill sirens*

“Now there’s a 35% chance [of survival].”  “I don’t wanna know.”  “OK.”

There needs to be more rainy scenes like this in Star Wars

*K2 presses some buttons in the background*  Beep boop beep

OK, Chirrut definitely is Force-sensitive.  I mean, c’mon.

*Cassian looks through the binoculars*  Well there are two Banthas, but I don’t see any Sand People.

Cassian, if you’re trying to shoot someone via sniper gun, at least have a cover over yourself so that you won’t have to keep continually wiping rain off your vision scope.

*Jyn sends a Stormtrooper off the bridge* That was the quietest take down I’ve ever seen.  Even quieter than the take downs in the Batman Arkham games

Why yes, I watch gameplays on YouTube.

“Star-Dust...”  Nope.  Gone.  It’s gone.  My heart has flown out of my chest cavity and has sailed out the window into the appropriately timed storm outside.

They killed off Mads Mikkelsen.  You bastards.

AND THEY DON’T EVEN TAKE HIS BODY BACK FOR A PROPER BURIAL!  THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!

MUSTAFAR!

No wonder in Rebels they say it’s where “the Jedi go to die.”  Vader has a freaking castle there!  It probably got built near the end of Season 1 but still.

Is that Julian Richings?

The interior freaking looks like a mix between the tower on Mortis and the Sith temple in “Twilight of the Apprentice.”  So many triangles!

*cue me drawing references to the Illuminati via Snapchat*

“Be careful not to choke on your aspirations, Director.”  Oh my God.

Yes, Bail!

“The Death Star?  This is nonsense!”  Shut up, Anderson, you lower the IQ of the whole galaxy!

Who’s that lady in the gold hood?

C’mon, Mon Mothma!

“General Syndulla, please report to briefing.”  HERA!!!

Please tell me we see her getting promoted to General in S4!  Please Filoni!

“Rogue One.”  Roll credits!  *ding*

Wait, Mon Mothma knows that Obi-Wan’s alive?

“I would trust her with my life.”  GAH!

Oh my gosh, we actually see Imperial faces in the original trilogy and this movie.

Well, Saw Gerrera was an asshole, Jyn.

Now, correct me if I’m wrong, there was supposed be a happy ending where everyone survived but Gareth Edwards didn’t get the go ahead to do it so he went with the “everyone dies” ending and made it dark.

Fun Fact:  the scene where they walk through the building on Scarif was filmed in a train station.

“Yeah, they rolled out the T-15s.”  Haaa... and they talk about the T-16s in “A New Hope” and the T-17s in “The Force Awakens”

ARE WE BLIND?!?!?  DEPLOY THE GARRISON!!!!

CHOPPER!

I love this music here when they realize that they have to deploy the Rebel fleet to Scarif.

Oh my God, 3PO...

Oh crap, walkers...

KARABAST!

THE GHOST!!!

Gold Leader!

I was gonna say “Where’s Phoenix Squadron?”  but then I realized that there is no longer a Phoenix Squadron :(

I love how they envoked some of the Vietnam War during the beach battles

Oh Blue Squadron made it in!

The prosthetics on the Mon Calamari are great in this movie.

Haha, that little hair flip Cassian does before using the handles.

K2 takes out the Stormtrooper squadron*  I’LL BEAT A MOTHEREFFA WITH ANOTHER MOTHEREFFA!

“Black Saber?”  What project is that?

Literally the main focus of the finale is to make sure the Internet connection is up and making sure the file is small enough to send.

K2, NOOOOOOO!!!!!

*K2 dies*  I’m done.  I’m done you guys.

What Imperial ships are those?

I’m one with the Force and the Force is with me...

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

EVERYBODY DIES AND I AM NOT HAPPY EVEN THOUGH I’VE SEEN THIS THREE TIMES NOW!

*The Ghost takes down a couple TIEs in front of the Mon Calamari ship*  Oooh, that was nice.

“I’m on it, Gold Leader.”  THAT WAS HERA!!! WE HEAR HER IN THIS! 

I HEAR YOU, VANESSA MARSHALL!

Leia gave us the Hammerheads in Rebels!

[Bodhi dies] *slams head on floor*

Mood:  Mads Mikkelsen opening a bottle of vodka during a “Rogue One” interview”

Baze looks like he has a air tank on his back.

*Baze dies*  God... dammit...

*The Hammerhead takes out two Star Destroyers*  Niiiiccceeeee......

Krennic, the entire Erso family is out to kick your ass throughout this entire movie.

Krennic also has a fancy Imperial pin in his lapel.  The Empire is just full of fancy pens.

*Death Star emerges from hyperspace*  Oh crap.

*Jyn and Cassian look at each other in the elevator*  Oh just kiss already

*Darth Vader’s Star Destroyer emerges from hyperspace*  Oh crap!

Oh God this music!

YAAASSS THIS END SCENE!!!!!

“Open fire!”  Oh hey Sam Witwer!

Fun Fact:  he threw that line in.  Even when he’s not Maul, he’s still improvising in Star Wars

[the camera pans to see Leia]  *sings*  We celebrate a day of peace....

NO!

AND IT LEADS RIGHT UP TO “A NEW HOPE!”

“And Forrest Whitaker”  BOOGITY!