#did i never post about that?
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the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.
sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.
you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.
it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.
but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.
they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.
they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.
barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.
and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.
but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.
they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!
this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.
#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone#yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post.#writeblr#ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person#and on this blog we support workers.#at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going.#when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens#have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists#and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like.#it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases -#at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory.#it was what i had seen.#and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference#we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol'#so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender#and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID.#he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different#i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.
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the most important step in the hero’s journey is the gay sex
#mine#i was. higher than i thought i was last night#nooo post dont go out of my immediate circle u r so sexy#someone just tagged this as naruto wrote this. no he didnt i did#update now sherlock rp blogs are commenting on this. girl it is 2022 what are you doing#leave im going to attack you with wasps#fr if another person comments on this post itself again and it isnt funny im sending the bees after u#never in my life have i felt that one post that is like some of yall are so annoying god bless#more than i do now#this isnt about anything but if it was it would just be about gilgamesh#the more yall add to this post the more obvious it is that some of yall straight up dont know what the heroes journey is#yall need to stop assuming the hero is the protagonist of the stories yall read/watch/consume or whatever the fuck
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Um I like Dungeon Meshi. Btw
#dungeon meshi#dunmeshi#delicious in dungeon#<- ew#i drew something#IT'S BEEN LIKE 6 MONTHS. HI#did you guys know i've been obsessed with dunmeshi for 8 years and never drawn fanart of it before. what's wrong with me#when i first got into it there were less than 20 chapters. look at us now#something about it being everywhere now instilled a fire in me after all this time... I WANNA DRAW RAUUUGHGHHH#i am really hoping to get in the habit of posting regularly again may marcille give me strength
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my therapist: how are you feeling in the wake of your (autism spectrum disorder) diagnosis?
me: well it makes sense doesn’t it? i was the one who requested testing. like on some level i kind of figured.
my therapist: yes, i’m personally glad we pursued it because it helps me better understand parts of your behavior and how to accommodate you. but how do you feel about it? you said before that you were in heavy denial about the possibility when you were younger.
me: well yeah, i had a preconceived idea of what autism was that i know now wasn’t true. but at the time it was distressing and i didn’t want to think about it too hard.
my therapist: how was it different then? what was your idea of autism then?
me: it was, you know, severe developmental delay. i never thought i had developed abnormally at all, so to try and match up the severity i associated with autism and the way i viewed myself, i just couldn’t.
my therapist: but you did.
me: sorry?
my therapist: you did develop abnormally. both socially and academically.
me: socially yes, but i had no problems with academics. i always especially excelled at reading comprehension, more so than anyone else in my grade. i started lagging in high school but i think that was a lot of burnout and depression and ptsd, probably. i was incredibly smart. hell, i spoke in full sentences earlier than most of my peers.
my therapist: violette, that’s still abnormal development.
me: …huh?
my therapist: developing abnormally fast is still developing abnormally.
me:
me: oh.
#nothing in our sessions has ever hit me as hard as that#it was almost a year ago now and i still think about it#i’ve never had one of those ‘moments of clarity’ in therapy outside of this#but god damn did i have to sit with it for a bit#developing abnormally fast is still developing abnormally#jesus Christ ellen#actually autistic#actually asd#hashtag autism posting#autism#autistic adult#autistic feels
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the pool scene
#the locked tomb#tlt#griddlehark#gideon the ninth#harrow the ninth#tlt art#tlt fanart#comic#apologies for how wonky it looks in some parts#um i spent like five days working on this nonstop#well not nonstop i ate a shit ton of pomegranetes or however its spelled during it#but uhm yeah#im not good at drawing backgrounds or anatomy (YET) so hhuhshsu#anyways yah yeepers when will i get to have a homoerotic moment with my former rival/enemy where i get to show them forgiveness and care#gideon wants to kiss harrow on the lips so bad its so fucking funny#harrow is a whole pathetic looking sopping wet kitten and gideon is like ooh yah thats the stuff#anwyas yah#ill post the version without their skull makeup because i like that one more#the skull makeup looks ugly sometimes (BY MY OWN DESIGN!!!! HARROW QUEEN I WILL NEVER DISS YOUR FASHION <4)#ALSO SORRY ABOUT THE PACING BUT DID YOU KNOW THAT DRAWING TWELVE PAGES OF A COMIC CAN MAKE YOU REALLY MESSED UP IN THE HEAD#hatman is in the corner of ym room rn
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Something that I've noticed ever since the Smiling Critters were introduced is that they can so easily be paired off into complementary duos, ones that are specifically designed to teach children fundamental lessons about life and self-care from two different angles. It's really interesting to me.
Like obviously you have Dogday and Catnap, with their sun/moon, dog/cat dichotomy, that stress how important it is to have fun and get things done during the day, but also that it's important to wind down, relax, and get a good night's sleep.
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Bubba Bubbaphant and Craftycorn were introduced as a duo in the Smiling Critter show's intro, and their dichotomy is quite obvious. They are basically the right and left sides of the brain personified. Bubba is the left side of the brain, logical, analytical, focused on math and science. Craftycorn is the right side of the brain, creative and imaginative, focused on the arts and self-expression. They represent learning and academia in all its forms, the different ways people engage with and understand the world.
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Hoppy Hopscotch and Kickin' Chicken form the sportsmanship duo. They are both portrayed as enjoying sports and the outdoors, but in different ways that highlight the different ways sports can be played and enjoyed and also what it entails to be successful at them. Hoppy Hopscotch may be loud and impatient, but she is also a team player, shown in her willingness to slow down her fast pace to make sure none of her friends are left behind. Kickin' Chicken, on the other hand, is laid-back, relaxed, and chill, the described "cool kid" of the group, but he's also described as having a ton of perseverance, more of a "slow and steady wins the race" type of person.
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This leaves Bobby Bearhug and Picky Piggy as the last pair. Fittingly, these two are all about how to meet the fundamental needs of yourself and others. Bobby teaches children how to nourish themselves emotionally through showing and receiving care from others, while Picky teaches them how good food is important to nourish the body and soul. Depriving oneself of either of these things only makes oneself and therefore everyone around one miserable, because those fundamental needs are no longer being met.
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Like fr, this is some pretty genius marketing right here. You have enough characters that every kid will have their favorite, but not so many that any would get lost in the shuffle, because the lessons each one of them would teach would be integral to the group as a whole. It really makes me that much sadder we saw basically nothing of the Smiling Critters during the game itself, because Mob Games struck gold with this concept, only to ultimately do nothing with it. :/
But I guess that's what fandom is for, eh?
#poppy playtime#poppy playtime chapter 3#smiling critters#dogday#catnap#picky piggy#kickin chicken#hoppy hopscotch#bobby bearhug#craftycorn#bubba bubbaphant#xi writes#tbh that 'slow and steady wins the race' comment makes me really wish Kickin' Chicken was a turtle instead#just to drive home that parallel even further#ngl i've been thinking about making this post for ages but i finally got off my butt and did it#me holding the Smiling Critters like Marge Simpson holding a potato: I just think they're neat!#it'd be a shame if the game company that came up with them never DID anything with them HUH MOB GAMES?#mob games don't walk away from me#MOB GAMES GET BACK HERE I HAVE THOUGHTS-
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funnyjokespunperson
#cozy-comfy reading a book recovering <3#vulnerability? sorry all they got is puns#love them for it tbh so real for that#i imagine this being somewhen post-game so#isat spoilers#sorry but i do not believe that Vaugarde or really any other place has no constellations at all#they are so usefull! for navigation or for calendar keeping!#so yeah now there Are constellations they are just niche knowledge for like sailing or for understanding how the calendar formed#i guess there is also specifically ursa minor what a coincidence#did you know that there are myths based on how constellations behave through out the year?#scorpio and orion are never seen on the sky at the same time and theres a myth about how the scorpion killed him#but he was immortalized on the night sky (the scorpion also got immortalized because fuck orion)#rant over have a nice day#isat#in stars and time#isat siffrin#my art
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charmed, i'm sure
#homestuck#hom3stuck#jake english#dirk strider#dirkjake#jakedirk#admin draws#fanart#thats what you get for shrimping bro. i told you about the shrimping#to anyone whos been around for a while you can tell im quite obviously obsessed with that pose. that specific way of hugging urself#dirk was never escaping that#i need to draw some janeroxy too it bangs sm and i need to balance out this sausage party ive had going on in my head for the last xyz#how long has it been. how many weeks since ive seen natural light.#whatever.#id keep this to post in a batch with other drawings but it did well on its own on twt so i might as well post it here as is#feel like batchposting several basically finished drawings doesnt do me much good anyways. better serves smaller sketches on the same theme#ramble ramble
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evil time loop escape conditions where you can't get out until you've fuucked up your life in the most spectacular way possible, confident that the next night will reset the slate as usual.
instead, the next day comes.
#that's the first chapter btw#the rest of the story is about coming back from the fallout#trying to make amends#something something the hubris of believing you were above consequences#coming to terms with the pain you were willing to cause in the moment because you never thought it would last (but it did)#actually maybe this is just undertale geno route#post cancelled undertale did it already#lol mostly i was trying to figure out if i could get to new york in a daily reset time loop#i probably could if i fucked up my life#and of COURSE that would be the day it didn't reset
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you know i used to think it was weird how sora and roxas have such different personalities for supposedly being 'the same person' but after playing a few games i sort of realized that they do have similar personalities, because roxas acts how sora does when he's under extreme stress.
compare roxas to sora in, say, kh1. that's where a lot of peoples idea of sora's personality comes from. sora is generally very upbeat and optimistic in that game. not very similar to roxas, right?
but let's switch the game and talk about a game where sora is ABSOLUTELY GOING THROUGH IT. chain of memories.
sora's resting state is melancholy in com. he only ever cheers up in short bursts, usually when he's joking around with friends. just like roxas.
he's quick to anger, and tends to lash out at the organization members. best example of this is when larxene makes him 'remember' namine, and he swings at her repeatedly, even after she's gone. he only stops when jiminy is able to snap him out of it.
you know what scene that resembles?
sora, while a bit more on the angry side and less sad, continues to act like this in kh2 when he's in stressful situations. (he also has a tendancy to insult people which, while it's not very related to the point, is very funny and sora saying 'gonna cry?' to xigbar is great.) i cant comment any further than that about kh2 off the top of my head.
so, roxas acts like sora does when he's stressed, right? but why is roxas always acting like that? to which i say, he isnt!
he only ever acts like that when he's also in fucked up and stressful situations, which happens to be a CONSTANT in his life. but when he's hanging out with axel and xion, a decidedly NOT stressful situation, he's a lot more like sora. he's teasing his friends and insulting his coworkers and joking around and acting like a normal kid. not really important, but unless i misremembered some sora lines which is VERY possible, both roxas and sora respond to friendly insults with "oh thanks!" a lot. just a funny little detail that felt relevant.
the biggest differences between roxas and sora boil down to environment and... i dont know how to put it besides volume? roxas is very quiet and tends to keep most of his thoughts to himself, while sora is very loud and expressive in comparison.
there is one other huge difference i noticed, which is less character based and more story. sora wanted to get off destiny islands and explore with his friends, but roxas just wanted routine. sora wants adventure, and roxas wants things to stay the same, for days where he gets off work and eats ice cream with his friends to last forever, to keep having conversations about nothing and watching the sunset. roxas wants normalcy, sora wants excitement. it's just interesting seeing their contrast.
not sure if this is very well said or anything i just wanted to talk about my boys
#random thoughts#its been a while since i got to use that tag eheheh#i bet theres a few people following me who didnt even know i did analysis posts#the fact that sora and roxas grew up in very different environments is pretty important btw#roxas was already a bit quiet and being in a cult where any expression of emotion is immediately shut down probably didnt help#we'll probably never get a good idea of how roxas would be if he was in a normal situation#id say some of the twilight town stuff might be a close estimate but even that doesnt really fit considering all the shit going down#even from the very start hes being accused of theft hes Not doing the best#anyways. sora and roxas are different obviously#but theyre a lot more similar than people really talk about#kingdom hearts#roxas#sora#not rereading this so it might be a little weird and hard to read sorry
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The pattern....
#i can't think about it too long or i start to cry#its a pattern#mcr#my chemical romance#gerard way#edit: how the fuck did this get so many notes ive never gotten this many notes on a post ever
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The ringmaster and the amphitheater. The chessboard and the player. Round and round they go.
#THE SILLIES. but also they have DEPTH. Which is INTERESTING#The circus man and the circus tent#theyre the circus duo#two ass CLOWNS is what they are#I find their dynamic very compelling. Its like#Lucifer is the devil from the BIBLE. yet Alastor gets offended by the unfairness of their power dynamic#MY MAN YOU WERE A RADIO HOST WHEN YOU WERE ALIVE#WHEN DID YOUR BAR GET TO THE FUCKING CEILING#Anyways. theyre fun. they have some fun things in common but theyd never admit to it. theyd be the friend to go bitch about someone#also im all for a qpr with these two#theyre so funny. imagine them as roomates#my art#art post#hazbin hotel#alastor#hazbin hotel lucifer#lucifer morningstar#I wonder if somewhere down in hell the actual lucifer is looking up at us judgementally#i wonder what would happen if I showed a priest from thousands years ago this content and go: yeah this is how the bible looks now#doodles#radioapple#appleradio#duckiedeer#hazbin alastor#hazbin lucifer#hazbin art#hazbin hotel fanart#hazbin hotel fandom#hazbinhotel#hazbin hotel alastor
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had a(nother) nightmare
#deltarune#rouxls kaard#lancer#queen#art#lancer had a bad dream. rouxls comes in to fall asleep in the floor like he always does. queen followed because she needs to#Familiarize Herself with The Rituals and also hey her boy is sad#and then they ALL fell asleep in the floor literally right next to his bed#-- i had tire marks on the bedsheets but they vanished somewhere. damn it#this one isnt old btw i just drew this This Morning HEHEHEHE#its kinda scrungy but thats ok#ok 2 tag ship but not explicitly ship either if ur not into it#i love that half my 'qk' art can very easily be read platonically#i think thats an important aspect of their relationship is that they are good friends and coparents. and THEN they're kissing sometimes#this is hardly the first family cuddle and or sleep pile ive drawn. i never posted my favorite i dont think#i am just all about sleep and cuddle piles. did u know swatchlings love to sleep in piles (headcanon)#if one bird falls asleep in the cafe the odds are very good that one or two more will join them#theres a pile of birds in booth 4 all shoved in there haphazardly and eeping. swatch is coming with pots and pans.
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wear headphones :)
Transcript:
As much as I'd love to witness more of your prowess, I'd very much like to have that body of yours.
Is that a strap-on?
Machine, I'll cover you in more than blood.
Fuck. *exhale* Shit. Fuck-God! mmmm-ohohoho. fuck. fuck. h-Harder, Machine. Mph! *whimper* Hah... Come on!
End transcription
Sorry for this. I promise this is the worst thing I'll ever post. Unless he somehow manages to do something worse.
I can't really provide the audio sources in a neat way because this is 6 clips stuck together.
#ultrakill#gabriel ultrakill#gabv1el#WEAR HEADPHONES. PLEASE. PLS. SAVE YOURSELVES.#suggestive#<- if i use a 'stronger' tag than that im 99% sure the post gets shadowbanned from showing up in the tags?#never ask me for anything ever again.#why did he say any of this#i dont know.#surely this will make people unfollow#or will it do the opposite#at this point. i have no idea#animals. all of you. ANIMALS. its ok im one too. we're in hell (together)#i didnt make the gif im sorry all i know is that its from twitter#yeah sorry for the recycled audio. i only have the 2 whimper clips...... so far.#but the actual talking parts are all new#i want to see that angel obliterated. send tweet.#smiles. evilly.#i dont know about you guys but im normal#anyway#if he somehow ever finds out about this blog im krilling all of u............. pls............#he cant know we are farming clips#(mostly joking) but yeah id prefer if this didnt spread past tumblr pls omg#we are past 700 followers now. idk what to say other than. wow.#ok surely no one is reading to this point. bottom gabe real. canon. true. thanks.#lets never speak of this again
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REINVENT
YOURSELF
tumblr HATES my 44.1mb image swag so it has SO MUCH COMPRESSION and downsizing here. :') peep the actual intended size & quality (or as good as i could get it exported)
post-return Q!Tubbo :] Tee hee.
un hamburgesa para tubbo (he lookied ungry)
#qsmp#qsmp fanart#tubbo fanart#qsmp tubbo#yippeeee :D#i forgor what other tags i usually use for my art on this blog. fngbnfdj. oh well.#WHY DID THE WATER TURN INTO LAVA [SHAKES CCTUBBO] WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT HELLO. DID ANYBODY ELSE NOTICE THAT BC I DID. IS IT FROM#THE MACHINE OVERHEATING? HE WAS BURNING WHEN HE SURFACED or is it a less physical creative choice...#this is why theyre surrounded by water and lava (and also bc of dying by the ocean monument ^w^ teehee)#if you notice all the details i had in mind when i drew this ily foreva and eva#i drew this over the course of a few days after the revival/return stream but i never posted it IM SHY OK#i wonder how long i spent on it... must be over 6 hrs atleast? considering i also spent like an hour touching things up b4 posting rn..#nice. im in my hours-long compositions era :D smiles irl so happily i love it#<- usually never spends longer than like 1-2 hrs on one drawing#i shared this with a couple of qsmp-enjoying friends of mine and they convinced me to let it fly free ksksks. FOR THE TUBBLINGS o7#also if anybody has a better image sharing option lmk. DHBFK.#blood#ALMOST FORGOT THAT. THERE IS BLOODIN HERE#CONTAINS BLOOD.#guy whos flehs and bone#debatably
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You were created by humans to protect. They died, so you continued to protect—protect everything they hold dear. You rest in the corners of hell that make mockeries of their holy places and tell yourself that you, you are the last bastion of everything they held dear. You are more than a machine, you fight like man—with honor—as you still bow before the thing that claims to be you. It fights like a dog, and you flee. You can't bring yourself to go back and see what has become of the temple.
You have a new purpose now. If it seeks to destroy, you will give it destruction. You use everything that humanity taught you to create, study the curvatures of their statues to weld together a new arm out of the remains of a sentry you mangled (what a worthless, worthless warmachine—knowing nothing but itself) resembling their own. You settle, once again, in a faux temple—this one of golden stone—and you wait.
It arrives. Of course it does. And you rend it apart. Piece by bloody piece. You take apart everything that you hate, hate, hate. It takes until your chest is dented in for the red haze in your vision to clear, to realize the scrap lining the floor is your own.
So you flee. Not in cowardice—you are not human enough for cowardice, you have always known this—but for the most mechanical thought of self-preservation. You flee and it follows, and some sinking feeling knows that the only thing the two of you feel is hunger.
You were never human, nor did you truly seek to protect anything but yourself. You will never know peace, for you were nothing more than a leftover of war.
It hardly matters. You were created by humans to die—and you die like the machine you are.
#Ultrakill#V2#I was encouraged to post my V2 ramble here a while ago and just… never did. So here it is#Text Files#<- Going to start using that as a catchall for both bigger written works and snippets like this.#EDIT: THIS HAS BEEN IN MY DRAFTS FOR SO LONG. I FORGOT ABOUT IT#1k
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