the jerk store called. and they said. sorry wrong number. i love you

trying to pick up chicks but they seem to be unnerved by the blood that coats my arms

I'm just like that tortured character in that movie except none of those things happened to me

name them. now.

#daytime

Oh I get it now. He's called Hideo Kojima because his parents named him that

we need more women with no moral compass

You can make a post that's like "I'm cooking peppers tonight" and somebody on here will reblog it like #cooking #peppers #bell peppers #cuisine #dinner

new favorite bit is saying "I would be fangirling so hard if I met him in real life 😍" about random species of fish

Shoutout

genuinely shocked no shitty goop-adjacent health influencer has tried to bring back humoral theory yet

Are you twelve

No, I’m…Ahhh…AHHHH…!!!! *Clutches my throbbing head and topples to my knees, writhing in pain* Why can’t I remember……my past…..?!??!! AAAUUUUUUUUUUGGGGHHHHHHH…….!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

im at baby city. and i just took a taxi. to the shapes and colors store

damn they had chasers in ancient rome