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yakketymax · 1 year

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AND IT’S FUNNEL CAKE WITH THE STEEL CHAIR-

Funnel won the popularity poll with the detective as a close second! Fireball was honestly kicking Funnel’s ass at the beginning but Funnel came around in the end. Final results under the cut!

#my art #Funnel Cake #Detective Fireball #Gingerfolk Universe #shitpost #if i had a nickel for every time i put Fireball in a meme situation I'd have two nickels #also don't mind me cheating on my own poll mind your business

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autumn-foxfire · 1 year

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So...

We have the magician cat starter pokemon and the football/soccer bunny starter pokemon. I wonder which two characters I could give them too, hint, hint.

#detective conan #magic kaito #kaishin #kaito kuroba #shinichi kudo #like pokemon and master #one is dodging footballs kicked at them while the other is dodging fireballs kicked at them

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north-heats-stronghold · 26 days

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Introducing Andri Santiago!

A second generation Latin American, born and raised in Southern California. His parents were originally from Mexico, but moved to the state's for personal reasons. His parents, being wizard's themselves, quickly sent him to the school once his magic manifested, after giving him a quick crash course on magic and wizard society.

Despite being surrounded by spanish culture growing up, his spanish speaking is subpar at best so he mostly speaks english. However he can understand spanish amazingly well.

His type of magic is of the elemental variety. More specifically, he can wield both ice and fire magic. While he can do all the flashy stuff, like fireballs and ice shards, he is also capable of more subtle thing's, like raising or dropping the temperature around him or being able to detect the heat from other living thing's.

His gemstone is a alchemically made Dragon's Breath Opal. Gifted by his parents before sending him off.

As his personality goes, Andri is more easy going and down to earth when compared to his critter versions. Simply enjoying his time and making friends. He does have a desire for adventure, but he mostly holds himself back to not cause trouble. Little North is the more emotionally expressive of the two and is usually acts as a glimpse to Andri's inner emotions. Little North also pushes Andri into trying different activities and sports in the school.

Perhaps a happy and easygoing person like Andri is exactly the kind of friend a certain yellow hoodie wearing Venezuelan needs.

(Spellcasters au made by @onyxonline)

(Ref art made by @novalizinpeace)

#ref sheet #oh look #its the shonen protag #andri santiago #north heat #spellcasters au #magic #wizard #smiling critters au

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probablyasocialecologist · 10 months

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Robert Oppenheimer and the Manhattan Project knew from the start that this place was not all that isolated and was far from uninhabited. There were, in fact, dozens of families within 20 miles, largely poor families of ranchers and farmers, many Hispanic and Indigenous, who unwittingly went about their daily lives in the first fallout of the atomic age. Now, those who were infants and children downwind of the detonation of the “Gadget”—a code name for the plutonium bomb used in the Trinity test—are nearing the end of a decades-long battle to be recognized and compensated for generations of illness they trace to exposure from radioactive fallout.

[...]

The reactions of Manhattan Project observers at the Trinity site are well documented. “Words haven’t been invented to describe it,” physicist Val Fitch said of the enormous fireball. General Thomas Farrell said the awesome roar “warned of doomsday and made us feel that we puny things were blasphemous.” “A few people laughed, a few people cried,” Oppenheimer recalled years later. “I remembered a line from the Hindu scripture . . . Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.” Physicist Kenneth Bainbridge said, “Now we are all sons of bitches.” Less documented are the reactions of the many New Mexicans who lived near Trinity. They had no warning, no context for the star-level explosion that shook their homes and startled them awake that morning. Worse, in the weeks after the test, they were never advised that their land, crops, livestock, and water may have been irradiated. A 2010 report to the CDC used archives at Los Alamos National Laboratory to re-examine the extent to which New Mexicans were unknowingly exposed to radioactive contamination from Trinity. Its findings revealed a shambolic and sometimes cynical effort to track the Gadget’s fallout that windy morning using “crude” and “ineffective” measures. Spotlights were deployed to try to follow the 230 tons of sand and ash falling from the mushroom cloud as it dispersed over southern New Mexico. Film badges designed to detect and measure radiation had been sent to nearby post offices before the test, but because of the Manhattan Project’s secret nature, there was little explanation on how the badges were meant to be used or why, and so they were deployed incorrectly or not at all. Some soldiers assigned to chase and monitor the radioactive cloud couldn’t relay their findings to headquarters in Albuquerque because they were not equipped with long-distance radios; other monitors attempted to gather fallout samples with domestic Filter Queen brand vacuum cleaners. (These samples were later lost or destroyed.) At least one monitor left the area after his superior declared tracking fallout a “waste of time,” while another soldier misplaced his respirator and took the official but scientifically misguided precaution of breathing through a slice of bread.

#Oppenheimer #Manhattan Project #nuclear weapons #trinity test #radiation

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vintagerpg · 8 months

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Other Magic (2020) is so good! The concept is straight forward: What if traditional folk magic, but translated into vaguely D&D terms for use in RPGs? Jesse Ephraim focuses primarily on American systems — pow-wows, rootwork, brujeria and Ozark magic — but also includes the very intense Russian tradition of Zagovory as a sort of contrast. This might seem odd, especially since all of these speak to a more recent historical era than most fantasy games. Early on, though, Ephraim points out that Manly Wade Wellman’s Silver John is a good example of a folk magician, and the Silver John stories are clear inspirations for D&D, despite being set in America in the 1960s, so this sort of thing can definitely work (see also Lowcountry Crawl).

Ephraim details charms, hexes, enchantments and all sorts of interesting details. At a glance, it might seem like folk magic is vastly underpowered in comparison to pulpy magic like the spells of D&D, but in reading through the zine you can see how naturally fantasy magic, particularly its defensive branches (detection, protection, etc), is rooted in folk traditions. Those aspects that lack a direct connection are clearly complimentary. They offer a kind of magical methodology that could be applied to RPGs for interesting effect — the idea of magic being a back and forth, or magic as the application of secret knowledge. The traditions here are lower key and less flashy than fireballs and lightning bolts, but they also imply new systems of play. One example: there’s a charm that can be used to force a shapeshifter into its natural form — there is no corollary for that in the standard suite of D&D spells, but you can easily image it in the game, and see how it might change a lycanthrope-centric scenario, for instance.

All the illustrations are fantastic woodcuts (I believe by Ephraim) that illustrated effects of spells and strange creatures they can summon, which leads us to tomorrow’s post…

#roleplaying game #tabletop rpg #ttrpg #dungeons & dragons #d&d #rpg #Folk Magic #Woodcut Games #Other Magic #Occult

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mindblowingscience · 4 months

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In the wee morning hours on Sunday (Jan. 21), a tiny asteroid came hurtling through the sky and smashed into Earth's atmosphere near Berlin, producing a bright but harmless fireball visible for miles around. Such sightings typically occur a few times a year — but this one was unique because it was first detected by scientists roughly three hours before impact — only the eighth time that researchers have spotted one of these space rocks before it hit. The asteroid, dubbed 2024 BXI, was first discovered by self-proclaimed asteroid hunter Krisztián Sárneczky, an astronomer at the Piszkéstető Mountain Station, part of Konkoly Observatory in Hungary. He identified the cosmic rock using the 60-cm Schmidt telescope at the observatory. Shortly after the space rock's discovery, NASA gave a detailed prediction of where and when the meteor would strike. "Heads Up: A tiny asteroid will disintegrate as a harmless fireball west of Berlin near Nennhausen shortly at 1:32am CET. Overseers will see it if it's clear!" NASA tweeted on the night of Jan. 20.

#Berlin #Germany #Near Earth Asteroid #Space #astronomy #stem

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probablybadrpgideas · 2 years

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Curse of Opposite Spellcasting. healing spells damage, fighting spells heal. Zone of Truth creates Zone of Lies. Cast Animal Friendship? Congrats, now that squirrel wants to bite you. Charm Person will get you kicked out of the tavern bc the tavernkeep thought your vibes were rancid. Mend breaks, Fireball works like a fire hose, any shapeshifting turns you into the animal that is, in the dm’s opinion, the least like the animal you want to be. any “detect” spells either detect the opposite or magically make you Unaware of any information you already knew on what you are trying to detect. Give to creative and resourceful players and watch them go

#Tick here to allow us to use in the podcast #Generic #Fantasy #Rule Idea #submission

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yakketymax · 1 year

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There's no guarantee that I'll take this any further than this sketch, so I'm posting it as is for now. A buncha old friends we haven't seen in a while 💚

#my art #Gingerfolk Universe #Poppy Seed #Song Bird #Pirouline #Detective Fireball #Dog Biscuit #Roasted Chestnut #Skittles #Jambalaya #Spree #Meow Mix #was so focused on Funnel that i forgot how fun it is to draw everybody else

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needlesscontrarian · 1 year

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On this, the anniversary of the Mishapocalypse, I'm thinking about the Constantine show and how I will never get over it.

Matt Ryan was so perfectly cast that even after the show got canceled they kept him on as a voice actor for the animated films and kept finding excuses to put him in the other live DC shows because he was just that good.

But the show was never going to be a good adaptation of the comics because what makes Hellblazer so unique and great is how fucking weird it is. It captured the existential horror of 80s Britain and the confusing mess that is modernity. It was a rejection of neo-fascism and religious orthodoxy. It was a tribute to freaks and punks and the edges of society. There's a comic where Constantine uses magic to travel through the internet. There's a comic where the demon stock market crashes because Margaret Thatcher got elected and she was so evil that it caused runaway inflation. It's the kind of bizarre storytelling that you really only get from comics. There's a combination of the literary and the visual that lends itself to that kind of weird storytelling (I'm still blown away that the Sandman show turned out as incredible as it did because it has all the weirdness of Hellblazer and then some).

But really the reason why Constantine as a show was never going to make it was because of Supernatural. Supernatural borrowed so many concepts from Hellblazer. And there's nothing wrong with that. The producers are clearly super into that genre of comic and I think that's awesome. But the relationship that the show has with monsters and the divine is just directly lifted from a 1980s Vertigo series.

And then Constantine comes onto the scene at the height of Supernatural's popularity and it looks so so derivative of the thing that was cribbing off of its notes in the first place, with its trenchcoat wearing protagonist with a perpetual five o'clock shadow and gravelly voice. And because they wanted to appeal to the Supernatural crowd they sanded off so much of Hellblazer's original personality to make it more like Supernatural.

So instead of this washed up walking disaster who narrowly avoids death at every turn through a combination of charm, luck, and willingness to be a complete bastard, you've got hyper-competent magic detective with a spell or an artifact for every occasion. No longer do you have Constantine defeating a monster by making its multiple heads fight over soccer teams. Instead he's waving his hands around and throwing fireballs. When the thing that makes Constantine an interesting character is that he's shit at magic! He's always fucking it up and getting into trouble because he messes with things he isn't cut out for.

The worst thing about the Constantine show was that it wasn't bad. It was a totally decent adaptation of a great series. A few odd choices here and there, but ultimately serviceable. The worst thing about it is that someone had already made it 10 years earlier, filed off the serial number, and called it Supernatural.

#hellblazer #john constantine #i like supernatural but it's not my blorbo

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ipostdumbthings · 8 months

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Moonlit Dinner Date

Pairing: Gale/Tav

Characters: Gale, Tav, Astarion, Karlach

Rating: G

Genre: Romantic Fluff

Summary: Gale returns to camp one evening to discover a wild magic mishap from sorcerer Tav. Pre-relationship.

It was still fairly early in the evening when Gale found himself strolling back into camp, clean for the first time in days. Camp had been made late in the afternoon, they’d stopped near a river and a turn order was quickly established to get everyone in camp a turn to a small but blissful amount of privacy, and freedom from the muck and sweat. He was still toweling off his hair when he stepped foot in camp proper,only to find himself almost bumping directly into a certain pale companion of the vampiric persuasion. The look on the elf’s face made it clear that he’d been waiting for Gale for a while now, a look that said “you’re wasting my time”. The wizard didn’t love how often he saw it.

“Here’s something I never thought I’d say, but thank the gods you’re here Gale we need your help.” It might have been a jab at him, but Astarion wasn’t wielding his particularly cruel tone of voice, did Gale actually detect something genuine there? He opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off immediately, not by the man before him, but by the bleating of a sheep. Of course. He didn’t need to look, but he did anyway, sidestepping the elf to join the camp proper. Not too far from the fire was a sheep, a rope tied loosely to its neck to keep it from wandering off. Affectionately petting and tending to it was Karlach, who looked all the more excited to see Gale.

“Tav?” He asked, already so certain of the answer, but received further confirmation when he spotted the bowl of water someone had laid beside the sheep with the name “Tav '' hastily painted on the side, no doubt Karlach’s work. It could be hard to believe that a woman of so much heat could have such a soft heart.

“Yes, she got a little bold with her spell casting I’m afraid,” Astarion replied, a certain quirk to the corner of his mouth indicating just how funny he found all this. It had endlessly fascinated Gale just how well Tav could get along with everyone here, and how someone with so much kindness and concern for others could find genuine affection and camaraderie with someone like Astarion. He was certain for the elf’s part, the friendship had mostly been a great source of amusement, provided he was well outside the blast radius when something went wrong. But Tav had disagreed with Gale during one of their chats about that, well not entirely, she knew Astarion found it funny when her magic went awry, but she was positive there was a genuine connection of trust and friendship between them. That was getting off track though, there was very much a situation he was faced with, one that was frankly frustrating, and should’ve been avoided based on his and her previous conversations. He heaved a sigh so deep he felt it in his soul.

“I specifically asked her not to cast her magic in camp for this reason. Could’ve been a fireball that sent all the tents up in flames,” he said, adopting a chastising tone as he addressed the sheep more than the two people. Sorcerer’s and wizards rarely saw eye to eye under the best of circumstances, given their different philosophies, their different experiences with magic. Sorcerers took magic for granted, and the one type of sorcerer you didn’t want with that sort of flippant attitude was one of wild magic, and yet Tav seemed blissfully unconcerned by the chaos she was capable of wreaking. He’d hope she’d learn something from this, but he knew better.

“Oh, no, that’s not what we need help with,” Astarion said, his genuine delight only seeming to swell.

“When you say it like that Astarion, it makes me feel like we’ve been arseholes,” Karlach said sounding like a guilty child. She even wore a pout.

“She’s got grass, we put down a clean water bowl for her, her precious sheepish heart yearns for nothing. Frankly I wish people tended to my needs the way we’ve been keeping her for the better part of the half hour.” The elf sounded defensive, but not in a way that indicated he felt bad in the slightest for anything that was happening. Gale pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling a certain weariness he imagined his mother must have felt when she was dealing with his youthful magical indiscretions.

“If it’s not about Tav the sheep, then what exactly did you need?” The question was quick, clipped, and demanded an answer.

“Well, it’s not not about Tav and her adorable little hooves.” The way Karlach emphasized the last three words was further hammered home by her taking Tav’s sheep face in her hands and cooing at her.

“It’s a bet,” Astarion said, and could not suppress a grin as he spoke, “we were wondering if, someone were to… shear her, you know, shave off all the wool, while she’s a sheep…”

“Would she pop back to being a human bald or naked? And what would happen to the wool when she turned back? Would that be her hair? Her clothes? Or would it stay wool?” Karlach finished the question, redirecting her gaze back to Gale with genuine curiosity. He blinked at the absurdity of the question, at the knowledge that they had been patiently waiting for him for half an hour just to ask. Karlach didn’t surprise him as much, but he would’ve assumed Astarion for the sort to get to the bottom of the matter himself.

“Ah. Well, I can't say I’ve ever tried it. Honestly I’m impressed at the restraint you’ve shown in not simply attempting it yourself.” He’d said it as a joke, but the look on Karlach’s face had the deep sigh renewed.

“We thought about it, but I’m too pretty for such a menial task, Karlach is too afraid of hurting her, and Halsin gave us a very stern ‘no’ and that same disapproving look you seem to be wearing right now.” Well, at least someone in the camp could be trusted to behave like an adult. He held Astarion’s gaze for several moments, making sure he fully expressed said disappointment, before finally looking back at the popular subject of the evening, Tav. He should still be irritated, but he had to admit the question was an interesting one, and far be it from him to not indulge the curiosity of others in regards to magic. Even if he didn’t exactly have an answer.

“Ignoring the ethical implications of you two attempting to shave one of your friends while they’re completely indisposed, hypothetically-“ he was cut off when the sheep made eye contact with him, and he felt the sudden, intense connection brought on by the tadpoles locked in their brains. For just a moment it didn’t make sense, just sheep sounds and flashes of the grass on the ground at the camp, but then he felt it: the disappointment. The sheep held his gaze, drifting to thoughts of the clearing nearby, the one with bright green grass.

“Wait. What just happened?” The words from Karlach pulled him from the moment, and his bewildered stare must have made it obvious.

“Did she just use the tadpole on you?” Astarion sounded positively delighted, the airy laugh erupting from him. Gale glared.

“Oh was it Tav-Tav, or Sheep-Tav? Why didn’t she do it to me? I was just staring into her little face?” Karlach asked with a mix of absolute whimsy and disappointment. She gently rested her hands under Tav’s face to coax the sheep to look at her again.

“Don’t take it personally, Karlach, she’s not really Tav right now, she’s well and truly a sheep,and you two were wrong about her wanting for nothing, she wants better grass.” With that he crossed the space to his tent and returned everything he’d taken for his bath, then snatched up a book. There was no telling how long it would take for Tav to become human again, and she’d been very clear about what she wanted. He could sit with her for a while as she indulged in sheepish pleasures.

“Shit are we being bad sheep guardians?” Karlach asked with a groan, she did start untying the rope from the stake in the ground, which she handed over to Gale when he approached.

“Do you mean shepherds?” Astarion asked, but Gale was very much through with the tom-foolery of the evening. Taking the rope in hand, he gave Tav the gentlest of tugs to get her moving.

“I’m going to take her to a clearing nearby, if she’s going to return to humanity with the taste of grass in her mouth it might as well be good grass.” Tav may have frustrated him at times to no end, but there was no denying that he respected her. Valued her, even. She was competent at decision making under catastrophic circumstances, unwaveringly compassionate to those in need, and a damn fine friend to anyone that allowed her to be. There were times that his fondness for her only increased his frustration about her casual disposition to her brand of chaos. He wanted her to care enough to take care of herself, to be careful. But he supposed, at least for the time being, she had him to do the worrying for her. Seemed a few others were up to the task too.

“Don’t forget her water bowl, Gale, I put her name on it and everything, you know, for next time it happens.” Karlach almost spilled the water bowl in her haste to hand it over, genuinely concerned he may leave it behind. The wizard took the bowl with a small bow of his head, yes even when he wasn’t around to watch after her, Tav was usually in good hands.

“I’m certain she’ll be touched by the kind gesture. Now come along, Tav.” With that, he gave another gentle tug on the rope, and sheep Tav seemed to know exactly what to do, which he supposed made sense, she had requested this.

—

He did have to give her credit for good timing, though, it was a lovely night. Stars twinkling above, the moon brilliantly lighting their little clearing. The air was cool, but not cold. A nice gentle breeze carried the sounds of the night time wildlife beginning their evening. Perfect night to sit with a book and enjoy the world for all its splendor.Even the company was pleasant, now satisfied with the grass she had available Tav was content to silently wander and munch nearby. He’d take breaks from the page to glance up at her to make sure she was fine, and frankly marvel at how he managed to enjoy her presence even as a sheep.

The two had shared many late night evening talks, mostly about the sort of things one expects a wizard and a sorcerer to discuss. Magic and its nature, mysteries of the universe, that sort of thing. They talked about other things, and he was constantly amazed by how much he enjoyed those chats just as much as he enjoyed the ones on his favorite subjects. Even in these trying times she approached life with enthusiasm, with passion and joy. Not to say she wasn’t aware of the impending doom that loomed above them, she’d let slip her air of exuberant confidence a few times to reveal just how deeply afraid she was. He’d realized then that she was attempting to shoulder all the worries of the team, that she’d been determined to be the source of comfort and hope when they couldn’t be one to themselves. He didn’t envy her. He did want to help her though. Which was yet another reason he was sitting out here with her.

It was a wonderful, quiet hour that past, and sheep Tav had settled in the grass and was deep into a snore when the magic dispelled. One moment a sheep snoozed happily, the next there was Tav. She sat up quickly, facing away from Gale. She twisted her head back and forth before rising to her feet. When she finally spotted Gale she broke into a big grin. A big, beautiful grin. She looked relieved to see him, happy to see him. He blinked back at her, and felt something stir in his chest that felt suspiciously like his heart fluttering. He hoped it was dark enough that she’d miss the faint tingle of redness on his cheeks he felt forming. A moment passed before he realized he was staring at her, and he quickly cleared his throat to break the silence.

“You should know, your dear friends seriously debated shearing you in pursuit of scientific curiosity,” he said, he’d intended his tone to be more chastising, after all he had asked her not to cast in camp for a reason. But his heart wasn’t in that, not at the moment, not with her looking at him like he was her safety, her comfort. It came out as the gentle, affectionate tease it truly was. Of course he knew he’d been fond of her already, but that look on her face under starlit skies was forcing him towards some rather hasty and unexpected realizations about just how fond of her he was.

“Oh to see if I turn out bald or naked?” She asked with an easy laugh, as she took a seat on the ground directly beside him. The urge to put an arm around her was one of the hardest he’s ever had to suppress. He settled for tilting his head to the side as he peered at her, watching the expression of good humor form on her face. He was finding he liked that one quite a bit too.

“A question you seem to have pondered quite a bit yourself,” he remarked.

“Well I’ve spent more than my fair share of time as a sheep. Always wondered why it was a sheep. Honestly, the universe probably knows I’d be too powerful as a cat.” She was looking directly into his eyes as she spoke, and he found himself even more acutely aware of how close they were and how intimate this moment between them was. The idea of her as a cat, however, was enough to get a laugh from him. Surely she’d be the sort to knock everything over, to break all your favorite things, and just when you were sure it was time to get rid of her, cuddle up on your lap and make you love her all over again.

“With your predisposition for chaos? I suspect you may be right.” He loved the way that made her laugh, the way her nose crinkled as her whole face lit up. She gave him a gentle shove on the shoulder, and he made a mental note to ensure an abundant future of that. She finished laughing and for a brief moment she sat and peered up at the stars before she looked back to the grass she’d been eating not ago.

“Awfully nice of you, though, to bring me out to this lovely patch of Baldurian Bluegrass.” She looked thankful. He blinked at her, and then looked at the grass, and then back at her.

“… You know what type of grass this is?” He must have sounded incredulous from her next little laugh. Tav was not much of an expert on the great outdoors, she’d never successfully identified an animal track, knew absolutely no potion ingredients, and seemed to be allergic to most things they came in contact with. She smiled a knowing smile and shrugged her shoulders.

“When I realized that I would be spending a decent amount of time as a sheep, I started growing little patches of grass at home, and had some brought in from all sorts of places. I figured, you know, spoil myself.” It was his turn to laugh, he shouldn’t have been surprised in the first place. That was exactly the sort of thing Tav did.

“Ah yes, exotic grasses from across the globe. Truly a feast fit for a sheep of your caliber.” He teased, and felt that flicker in his heart when her eyes were back to him.

“But the one I always eat the most is the boring one, Baldurian Bluegrass.But do you realize what that means?” She asks leaning just enough that it felt like they were conspiring about something together.

“I can’t even imagine what’s about to come out of your mouth.” It wasn’t the first time that had happened, and he knew with such certainty that it would far from be the last. It excited him in a way that he hadn’t expected it to.

“You just took me out for a nice moonlit dinner with my favorite food. If you keep this up, Gale, I’m going to think you’re into me.” It was a joke, he was certain. Wasn’t he certain? He could almost be bold enough to lean over and kiss her, to wrap that arm around her and hold her. To spend the evening like this teasing and talking together. Almost.

“We should get back to camp, Karlach will be both relieved and disappointed by your reversion,” he said and cursed himself for being a coward. Tav took pity on him it seemed, leaned in and kissed his cheek, and he felt his heart absolutely pound in his chest. She rose to her feet quickly thereafter and offered her hand to him to help him up, which he gratefully accepted.

“Thank you, Gale, for taking care of me,” and there was that smile again, but it didn’t linger for long, and she was quickly starting the short walk back to camp. He didn’t let her get too far ahead though.

“It was a privilege and an honor, my lady.” He did stop to pick up her water bowl though, with her luck it would be helpful soon enough.

#gale dekarios #gale x tav #gale bg3 #fluff #romance #bg3 #bg3 gale #gale of waterdeep

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goodomens-hints · 10 months

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Episode 2 plot summary

Episode 2 list of scenes

SPOILER WARNING SPOILER GOOD OMEN SPOILERS BELOW!!!!!

Scene 1: The ep starts with a flashback to 2500 BC. Crowley is getting ready to destroy goats using fireballs when Aziraphale appears and tells him not to. Crowley tells him he has a permit, which is basically a really long scroll, and he explains to Aziraphale that he’s doing this because God has a bet with Satan on how Job will still remain true even if he were suffering. He has to destroy everything Job has. Aziraphale is disturbed by this. Crowley rains down fireballs on the goats.

Scene 2: Aziraphale is in heaven, examining a copy of the “permit” with Muriel. Longhair!Gabriel shows up and pretty much reaffirms what Crowley said. He tells Aziraphale not to worry because Job’s going to get everything back anyway, and that he’ll have 7 “new” children. Aziraphale is upset because that means the 3 original children will still die.

Scene 3: Crowley pretends to be a shoemaker as he talks to Job and his wife to ask where their children are.

Scene 4: Flash forward to the present. Aziraphale is trying to read but Gabriel keeps interrupting him (this is the already posted scene where Gabriel asks ‘what comes after K?’). When Aziraphale tells Gabriel to make a noise whenever he moves, Gabriel eventually starts dusting the bookshelves and singing “Everyday”. Aziraphale asks where he learned that song but Gabriel doesn’t know.

Scene 5: Crowley is sleeping in his car, parked in a sidestreet not in Soho, and is woken up by Shax knocking on his door. Shax teleports into the passenger seat of his car and tells him Gabriel is missing and that a huge energy signature (they have a specific term for it) was detected at Aziraphale’s bookshop. Crowley feigns ignorance and jokes to Shax that it might’ve been him (Crowley) who did it.

Scene 6: Aziraphale visits Maggie’s record shop. He asks Maggie if she’s familiar with the song Every day (he sings a bit of it). She’s crying again, this time because she worked up the nerve to give Nina a record only to find out that Nina has a girlfriend. She then explains to Aziraphale what the song is and gives him a record – apparently she’s been getting a lot of copies of the Every day record from The Resurrectionist in Edinburgh because every record there transforms into Every day. Aziraphale asks her if she senses something big and she says no. Panicked, Aziraphale runs back to the bookshop just in time for Michael, Uriel and Seroquel to arrive. Gabriel greets them (as Jim) and they notice him…. But they don’t recognize him as Gabriel. Aziraphale realizes the miracle worked.

The angels interrogate Aziraphale and asked why there was a huge blast of energy from his bookshop. Aziraphale is flustered and (looking at the record Maggie gave him) lies on the spot, saying it’s because he was trying to get Maggie and Nina to fall in love. They ask “well, did they?” Aziraphale says he doesn’t know yet. The angels say they’ll send down someone to verify that it worked and then leave. Throughout this scene, Gabriel is getting their attention and at some point Michael notes that he seems familiar. The angels leave.

Scene 7: Aziraphale and Crowley meet at the pub. Crowley is surprised Aziraphale asked him to meet there and Aziraphale explains that they can’t meet at the coffee shop now either. While Crowley is getting their drinks, a man (Mr. Brown) from the shopkeeper’s association ambushes Aziraphale and tells him he has to host their annual party (the ball, basically) in a few days. Mr. Brown leaves and Aziraphale is all “this is why I don’t like going to pubs” lol. He and Crowley exchange updates about the Gabriel issue. Aziraphale tells Crowley they now need to get Nina and Maggie to get together because heaven’s gonna send someone to check if it’s true. Crowley says they should get them to huddle “under an awning” in the rain and Aziraphale’s all mm nah that won’t work. Aziraphale asks if Crowley knows Jane Austen and Crowley said she used to do all sorts of crimes etc and Aziraphale is weirded out and is all “No?? She writes books!” which Crowley is surprised to hear about. Aziraphale explains that Jane Austen always included balls in her books and that they should do that.

Aziraphale tells Crowley about Gabriel singing every day, and he keeps calling it “a clue!!” to which Crowley always looks irritated lmao. They walk to the bookshop and Crowley interrogates Gabriel, asking him what the earliest thing he can remember is.

Suddenly Gabriel gets purple eyes for a few seconds and starts reciting a quote (something about humans). He goes back to ‘Jim’ mode right after and says his head’s not big enough for these things, and slinks away.

Crowley and Aziraphale exchange glances because they remember him saying the same thing back in Job’s era….

Scene 8: Flashback to Crowley entering the house where Job’s kids are. Aziraphale blocks him off, trying to convince him not to kill them. He tells Crowley “you don’t want to kill kids!” and Crowley is all “I do want to kill these kids just like how I killed those goats”. Aziraphale says he knew Crowley as an angel and Crowley says “I’m not that angel anymore.” Aziraphale gives up and Crowley prepares to cross the room. All of a sudden the crows around them start bleating. Aziraphale smiles and miracles them back into goats. Crowley gets embarrassed.

They go meet the kids. The eldest is played by David Tennant’s son LOL who flirts with Aziraphale by saying he thought there’d be a different angel while he strokes the front of Aziraphale’s robe??? That’s when Crowley says “He seems nice” LMAO. After Aziraphale fails to explain to the kids properly what’s going on, Crowley starts lighting things on fire. The kids get scared as the house starts to burn. There’s a storm raging outside and Crowley teleports everyone to the basement.

Aziraphale calls out Crowley’s bluff again, saying Crowley meant to hide the kids and not kill them. Crowley turns the kids into lizards and hides them in a little pot.

Scene 9: The storm is still raging outside and Crowley and Aziraphale are in the basement. Aziraphale questions Crowley about the goats and asks whose side he’s on and Crowley says “my side”. Aziraphale says “that sounds terribly lonely” but Crowley insists it isn’t. Crowley starts drinking wine and Aziraphale looks disgusted, asking why Crowley is drinking human wine. Crowley offers him some and he refuses, looking grossed out. Crowley then picks up some pork ribs and asks Aziraphale if he wants to try those instead since he won’t get drunk off them. Aziraphale is hesitant, and accuses Crowley of trying to tempt him, but tries the pork rib and immediately gets addicted to them, eating non-stop.

Scene 10: When the storm clears Aziraphale and Crowley find Job kneeling under a light, with God speaking to him. Job is asking questions but God just keeps saying nonsense like “do you know who gave the peacocks their feathers, Job?”

Scene 11: Job returns to his house and his wife asks what God said. Job says he didn’t really understand much but that God was talking about whales a lot and stuff lol. His wife asks what happened to their children and that’s when Gabriel and the angels appear. Gabriel looks incredibly proud of himself when he tells Job that because Job never lost his faith in God, he will now get everything back, but twice as much. Aziraphale arrives late and joins the angels. Job asks about his children and Gabriel says he’s going to give Job 7 new ones. Job collapses on his knees saying he wants his original children and his wife is about to curse God when Crowley interrupts and re-introduces himself as the shoemaker from before. Gabriel asks Aziraphale who Crowley is and Aziraphale says he’s a shoemaker lmao. Crowley says he also happens to be an obstetrician and that he can help Job’s wife have her new 7 kids.

Job and his wife are confused, the angels are just as confused, and Michael asks how Job’s wife is supposed to have 7 kids. Crowley mentions that Gabriel would know how humans reproduce seeing as he was there in the Garden of Eden when Eve was created. Gabriel smugly agrees, so Crowley says kind of like how Eve was made, all he has to do is take 3 of Job’s ribs.

Job and his wife are still confused as hell but Crowley whispers to them to play along. Job’s wife “pulls” 3 ribs out of Job’s stomach, and using a miracle Crowley snaps his fingers and the 3 children reappear (he’d put the pot with the lizards on the ground behind Job and his wife lol). Michael asks why the children are fully grown and Gabriel points out that Eve was fully grown too.

But the angels are suspicious because Job calls his son by his “original son’s” name (despite his wife hushing him) and Gabriel asks Aziraphale if the children are the original ones or the new ones. Aziraphale lies, saying the children are Job’s new ones. Gabriel is satisfied with this.

Scene 12: We flashforward to the present. Aziraphale notices that Crowley is gone and Gabriel tells him Crowley left while he was thinking.

Scene 13: Crowley is walking by the coffee shop and sees Nina. He asks if Nina is interested in Maggie but Nina says “no, I barely know her”. Crowley asks if she would find it romantic if she were huddled under an ‘awning’ with someone in the rain LMAO. Nina is weirded out by his question and he walks away, heading for the Bentley. Aziraphale is there and Crowley asks what he’s doing. That’s when Aziraphale says that he’s going to go to Scotland to investigate The Resurrectionist. Crowley says “what… you’re taking the train?” and Aziraphale says he’s taking ‘our car’. Crowley gets pissed saying “It’s MY car” and Aziraphale says technically it’s HIS bookshop but it services them both, therefore Crowley’s car is also his car. Besides, Aziraphale got his license 90 years ago even though he didn’t have to! Crowley is to stay at the bookshop to watch over Gabriel. Crowley groans.

Scene 14: Flashback to Job era, with Aziraphale sitting on a rock overlooking the sea. He’s crying and Crowley approaches. Aziraphale says he figured Crowley would be the one to do it and asks if he’s going to take him to hell. Crowley laughs at this and says no, because Aziraphale wouldn’t like it there. Aziraphale is surprised because he lied to God and is now a ‘fallen angel’. He doesn’t know what he is anymore after what he did. Crowley comforts him and says “you’re an angel who sides with Heaven as far as he can go”, and Aziraphale says it feels very lonely. He tells Crowley “but you said you weren’t lonely”. Crowley says “I lied.”

END EPISODE

#go2spoiler #go2spoilers #good omens spoilers #good omens spoiler

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raeynbowboi · 1 year

Text

Creating a Thematic Bard

Through Bardic Magical Secrets, any Bard can pick up any 6-8 spells of their choosing depending on their subclass. I thought I’d go through some thematic options for a Bard to choose from to cater to different themes and archetypes the Bard aspires to do. For each, I will offer the 8 spells I would recommend if you were to play as a Lore Bard, and if you pick a different subclass, just elimate two of the options.

HEAVENLY CHOIR 6th Spiritual Weapon, Spirit Guardians 10th Flame Strike, Destructive Wave 14th Holy Weapon, Summon Celestial 18th Divine Word, Holy Aura

THAT INFERNAL BARD 6th Hellish Rebuke, Summon Lesser Demons 10th Summon Greater Demon, Planar Binding 14th Summon Fiend, Tasha’s Otherworldly Guise 18th Planar Ally, Shapechange

WOODLAND WOODWINDS 6th Spike Growth, Plant Growth 10th Grasping Vine, Wrath of Nature 14th Transport Via Plants, Wall of Thorns 18th Tree Stride, Guardian of Nature

NECRODANCER 6th Animate Dead, Summon Undead 10th Spirit of Death, Danse Macabre 14th Create Undead, Finger of Death 18th Negative Energy Flood, Antilife Shell

PYRODANCER 6th Scorching Ray, Fireball 10th Ashardalon’s Stride, Flame Strike 14th Immolation, Investiture of Flame 18th Fire Storm, Meteor Swarm

CRYODANCER 6th Ice Knife, Rime’s Binding Ice 10th Ice Storm, Cone of Cold 14th Investiture of Ice, Otiluke’s Freezing Sphere 18th Wall of Ice, Control Weather

WET T-SHIRT CONTEST 6th Tidal Wave, Wall of Water 10th Control Water, Maelstrom 14th Watery Sphere, Summon Elemental 18th Tsunami, Water Breathing

TAKE THE WORLD BY STORM 6th Thunder Step, Lightning Bolt 10th Control Winds, Storm Sphere 14th Chain Lightning, Investiture of Wind 18th Whirlwind, Storm of Vengeance

DOWN TO EARTH 6th Max’s Earthen Grasp, Erupting Earth 10th Stone Shape, Wall of Stone 14th Bones of the Earth, Move Earth 18th Investiture of Stone, Earthquake

A DANCE OF DRAGONS 6th Chromatic Orb, Dragon’s Breath 10th Elemental Bane, Summon Draconic Spirit 14th Fizban’s Platinum Shield, Draconic Transformation 18th Illusory Dragon, Shapechange

BARDS GONE FEYWILD VOL VII 6th Summon Fey, Spirit Guardians 10th Conjure Woodland Beings, Healing Spirit 14th Heal, Conjure Fey 18th Mass Heal, Wish

FIND ME SUMMON TO LOVE 6th Conjure Animals, Summon Undead 10th Summon Aberration, Summon Draconic Spirit 14th Summon Fiend, Summon Celestial 18th Summon Construct, Summon Elemental

ROCKY HORROR NIGHTMARE SHOW 6th Dissonant Whispers, Fear 10th Phantasmal Killer, Dream 14th Mental Prison, Feeblemind 18th Maddening Darkness, Weird

CLOAK AND DAGGER 6th Counterspell, Pass Without Trace 10th Death Ward, Steel Wind Strike 14th Contingency, Simulacrum 18th Feeblemind, Foresight

NECROSIS 6th Inflict Wounds, Wither and Bloom 10th Blight, Enervation 14th Harm, Finger of Death 18th Abi’s Horrid Wilting, Destructive Wave

STEP THREE: PROPHET 6th Augury, Clairvoyance 10th Divination, Commune 14th True Seeing, Detect Thoughts 18th Astral Projection, Foresight

GLOWING REVIEWS 6th Blinding Smite, Spirit Guardians 10th Destructive Wave, Wall of Light 14th Sunbeam, Crown of Stars 18th Guiding Bolt, Sunburst

SIMPLY PSIONIC 6th Mind Spike, Tasha’s Mind Whip 10th Raulothim’s Psychic Lance, Telekinesis 14th Rary’s Telepathic Bond, Synaptic Static 18th Telepathy, Psychic Scream

SONG OF WAR 6th Hunter’s Mark, Spiritual Weapon 10th Staggering Smite, Steel Wind Strike (or) Swift Quiver 14th Holy Weapon, Blade Barrier 18th Conjure Volley, Blade of Disaster

SHIELD MASTER 6th Armor of Agathys, Shield 10th Otiluke’s Resilient Sphere, Wall of Force 14th Fizban’s Platinum Shield, Globe of Invulnerability 18th Forecage, Invulnerability

MAGIC MIKE 6th Magic Missile, Glyph of Warding 10th Arcane Eye, Bigby’s Hand 14th Arcane Gate, Symbol 18th Demiplane, True Polymorph

SPELLBREAKER 6th Absorb Elements, Counterspell 10th Circle of Power, Synaptic static 14th Fizban’s Platinum Shield, Forecage 18th Feeblemind, Antimagic Field

SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED 6th Spiritual Weapon, Spirit Guardians 10th Guardian of Faith, Bigby’s Hand 14th Mordenkainen’s Sword, Blade Barrier 18th Max’s Earthen Grasp, Blade of Disaster

TWO-FACED 6th Alter Self, Water Breathing 10th Guardian of Nature, Stoneskin 14th Tasha’s Otherworldly Guise, Draconic Transformation 18th Animal Shapes, Shapechange MASTER OF ILLUSIONS 6th Blur, Pass Without Trace 10th Phantom Steed, Creation 14th Mental Prison, Nystul’s Magic Aura 18th Illusory Dragon, Weird

A DANCE WITH DEATH 6th Wither and Bloom, Vampiric Touch 10th Blight, Enervation 14th Contingency, Soul Cage 18th Clone, Invulnerability

MERCY MAIN 6th Aura of Vitality, Beacon of Hope 10th Aura of Purity, Aura of Life 14th Heal, Regenerate 18th Mass Heal, True Resurrection

PLAGUED BY GUILT 6th Hex, Bestow Curse 10th Vitriolic Sphere, Contagion 14th Eyebite, Harm 18th Feeblemind, Weird

BLUE EXORCIST 6th Counterspell, Remove Curse 10th Dispel Evil and Good, Banishing Smite 14th Forbiddance, Plane Shift 18th Forecage, Imprisonment

BARD EX MACHINA 6th Elemental Weapon, Tiny Servant 10th Fabricate, Creation 14th Animate Objects, Summon Construct 18th Mighty Fortress, Blade of Disaster

CONCLAVE OF THE HOUND DOG 6th Hunter’s Mark, Conjure Animals 10th Swift Quiver, Conjure Volley 14th Guardian of Nature, Dominate Beast 18th Animal Shapes, Insect Plague

OATH OF MERRIMENT 6th Blinding Smite, Crusader’s Mantle 10th Find Greater Steed, Destructive Wave 14th Staggering Smite, Banishing Smite 18th Circle of Power, Holy Weapon

And of course, you can always mix and match. Going for a Fire Dragon theme? Mix the Pyrodancer and A Dance of Dragons spell lists. As an example:

LOVE AMONG THE DRAGONS 6th Dragon’s Breath, Fireball 10th Flame Strike, Summon Draconic Spirit 14th Investiture of Flame, Draconic Transformation 18th Illusory Dragon, Meteor Swarm

These are all the bard themes I could think of, but if you can think of some more that I missed, or have better suggestions for some of my choices, let me know your own thematic magical secrets builds. Obviously, these were made with the Lore Bard in mind, since it gets the most magical secrets, but I’m sure some synergize better with other bard types, such as Song of War with the College of Valor. I just used Lore as the default. How well do these magical secrets builds work for you?

#dungeons & dragons #Dungeons and Dragons #bard #bardic magical secrets #magical secrets #dnd bard #dnd 5e #fifth edition #5th edition #dnd #d&d #d&d 5e

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