#daddy issues au
Note
Alternatively an AU where Eowells 'raises' Barry alongside Morgan and they get to grow up as brother and sister (with the world's shittiest dad)
OOOH I LOVE THIS!
Making the case is easy enough for Eowells—Joe assisted in Henry’s prosecution, he shouldn’t get to adopt his son. And Eowells recently lost his wife and has his daughter, baby Morgan. He could use another child to fill the desolate quiet…and he’s more than happy to take in a child whose pain he might somewhat understand. (And ofc he’s a rich white man—that helps too)
Barry is ofc an angry kid at 11. Made angrier by the fact that he couldn’t even be adopted by someone he knows (Joe) but by Eowells. But…baby Morgan is adorable, and Barry finds himself at least coming to adore her, if not her father. Because yeah—Eowells is “Morgan’s father” to him. Barry won’t change his name, won’t call him Dad. But he’ll softly call himself Morgan’s brother, and hold her close like she’s the most important person in the world. Iris (he’s not allowed to interact with her outside of school, but ofc they find their ways) notices and teasingly remarks on it, saying he makes a wonderful big brother
Barry is parentified by the time…well, maybe by the time Morgan is 5. He was a little bit before, but this is when it really starts. He’s 15, old enough to stay at home by himself, so often he and Morgan have the house to themselves. He soothes her nightmares, sings her to sleep…when he turns 16, he’s the one taking her to and from school. It’s tough balancing this and his own life, he’s not cut out for all this by himself…and Tina notices. She asks after Eowells, but he makes excuses (because yeah, by this point, he considers Eowells his dad and even cares about him, even if that love is mixed with resentment for his late hours working). Still, Tina insists, and Barry reluctantly accepts, letting her shoulder some of Morgan’s childrearing. They become a sort of team…and Tina even helps him out from time to time
In this AU, Morgan is much more attached to Barry than to Eowells. She doesn’t think of him as her dad exactly, but…he’s not far off either, and in a lot of ways, he’s at least more parental to her than Eowells. The first time she got scared of thunderstorms, it was Barry who cuddled with her, sang her to sleep, and told her a funny story about thunder and lightning being “show-offs” that made her giggle. It’s Barry who comes to all her choir concerts and karate belt tests with (or without, on occasion—Tina’s still a busy woman) Tina, being the embarrassing big brother who says “that’s my sister!!” and insists on taking a million pictures and teases her just enough to make her roll her eyes but smile anyway (and she, ofc, gives as good as she gets)
It means that she’s also much less conflicted about Eowells. Sure, she loves him, but if it’s Barry’s life on the line? He’s always been there, Eowells hasn’t. It’s an easy choice to make. She’ll always choose her brother. She even changes her surname to his—although she’s now Tina’s legal child, she’s always been Barry’s baby sister before anything else.
Admittedly, parts of this AU overlap with what I have planned for the Childhood Friends AU (you’ll notice there are some chunks I didn’t address in these headcanons, and that’s because they’d be spoilers for some CF AU plot points 😅), which is…really the only reason I’d hesitate to write it. And yet…👀👀
Also, to anyone else reading this, @fezwearingjellybananas (the wonderful sender of this ask) did sorta write this premise in their amazing Speedster Siblings series (with the addition of Wally, and it’s Jesse rather than Morgan so she’s a speedster). I highly recommend it!
send me an au and i’ll share 5+ headcanons about it!
Taglist (send an ask or DM to be added or removed):
@arrthurpendragon @ocappreciationtag @raith-way @vexic929 @ironverseocs @thechaoticfanartist @goldheartedchaoticdisaster @negative-speedforce @starstruckpurpledragon @angst-is-love-angst-is-life
#no lavi you do NOT need more wips#daddy issues au#au headcanon ask game#brotp: i know my hero#oc: morgan wells#barry allen#morgan wells au what-ifs#the flash
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the unknown remedy | t. bordeleau
au masterlist
part four. <- prev part
summary: thomas shuts himself off from everyone for a couple days, resulting in a surprise from you and his friends. you find out one of his secrets and he gets vulnerable, leading you to reassure him that everything'll be okay.
contains/tw: smoking, heightened feelings/anxiety, bren being kinda irritating, thom being a sad boy, vulnerable thom, light mentions of abuse.
pairing: dbf(dad's best friend)!thom x reader
word count: 2.8k
note: i know this took probably over a month so i'll be surprised if anyone's still invested. its bit different from the dbf!thom we know and love but he's got feelings too and i wanted to show them :) hope you guys like it <3 and remember to send me an ask or comment or message me if u wanna be added to the daddy issues taglist !!
six days.
it's been six days since you and thomas last saw each other. you thought he was avoiding you, partly because the morning after you slammed the door in his face you were greeted by a tide pen sitting on the floor right outside your bedroom.
his intentions weren't to make it seem like he was ignoring you but clearly your brain had other plans. you spent the next couple days with heightened anxiety whenever any of your dad's friends came over out of fear of facing him.
you got to know a lot of them pretty well, actually, and you'd even noticed a slight change in your dad's behaviour. he was.. happier. it was a good look on him. spending time with his friends really seemed to change him for the better and you wondered why they hadn't been around throughout your childhood. why did he only find it important for them to come around when thomas moved back?
you tried not to think too much about it, it wasn't very important anyway. you wondered where he's been but kept those thoughts to yourself knowing you'd see him eventually and you'd get the chance to apologize.. if you gained the courage to do do.
and thomas, well, he wasn't having the best time of his life per se. things had been great the first couple of weeks but with a hectic schedule and a busy mind, he found himself crumbling. he felt like he was the base of a mountain carrying the weight of the world on his back.
"i haven't seen bordy in a long time."
your head peaked up at ethan's words, carefully eyeing the bunch who began to share questioning glances.
"... i haven't seen him since like, last week. i don't even think i've heard from him since then," nick realized and you held back a frown. how had you been the one to notice his disappearance before they had? it was the one thought that ached to leave your mind.
"i've been texting him," your dad spoke up and you smiled. of course he'd been.
"he's really stressed. he's got lots going on right now and he doesn't know how to handle it by himself but he refuses to ask for help," he explained with a small scoff at the end. "stubborn son of a bi— uhh, bickle."
you rolled your eyes at his pathetic save, as if you didn't cuss when he wasn't around. the group began pondering upon all the reasons why thomas had been distant, seemingly forgetting the fact that your dad directly told them he was stressed.
it seemed as though this was unlike him no matter how heavy his heart felt. you felt guilty listening to their conversation, obviously his business was probably something he didn't want you knowing.
"why don't we go check on him later?" mackie suggested as he took a sip of his water. "bring some food and have dinner, maybe. who knows if he's been taking care of himself.."
you felt a nauseous pit in your stomach at the thought of how poorly he may have been doing. had he even been able to get out of bed? brush his teeth, remember to drink water? you were frozen in your seat as your mind ran in circles.
"yeah, that sounds like a good idea," your dad agreed. "i guess we'll leave when hunter gets home. he should be back in a bit."
--
the hood on thomas' head softly brushed against his cheek as he turned towards the sound, tickling his skin. he lightly chuckled to himself when he spotted an innocent squirrel running across the street.
with every inhale of the poison between his fingers, remedy filled his lungs. he sat under the tree outside his house, looking upon the empty road scattered with cars and potholes that the city never seemed to fix—he remembered them from when he was young.
with a rapid heartbeat, smoke fell from his lips and found haven in the cold air of the night, a sight so sore for even his eyes. he hated when he did this, when he resorted to the one thing he told himself he'd never fall victim to.
he watched along as rain began to fall from the clouds above, painful memories causing him to take another puff to ease his mind. it was hard. it was hard to live in michigan without the girl he'd planned a life with.
it was stupid, he knew that. he was never one to be hung up on a girl, especially one he'd left nearly a year ago but the bruises were still fresh in his heart. they were raw, a burning red, and they ached like their motive was to torture him.
he still had the scars scattered upon his body, the words ingrained in his head, the sights tattooed on his eyes. sometimes they became too much.
he was a man with a broken heart, one he didn't think deserved to be fixed. but that couldn't be further from the truth, yet he failed to see it. all he saw were the dark blue days he blindly mistook for a loving red.
his fingers planted on the grass beside him as he lifted himself up, crushing the cigarette beneath his feet before he bent down to pick it up. a few specs of dirt got caught in the grooves of his fingertips, even under his nails a bit. he cringed, flexing his joints at the irking feeling. it was an unhealthy habit and he felt guilty as he disposed of the evidence before walking back into his house.
his first order of business was to get rid of the smell tainting his nose. a shower was due.
the towel hung loosely around his hips as he stepped out of his bathroom, steam following behind him and into his bedroom. he shook his head a bit, droplets of water flying around before he ran a hand through his hair.
a knock on his front door caused him to stop as he pulled his pants up. he thought he was hearing things, giving it a moment before a louder sound filled his ears. he furrowed his eyebrows, unbothered to cover his upper half as he was now distracted by the persistent knocking.
"give me a fucking second," he mumbled to himself, a hand on the railing as he jogged down the stairs.
he twisted the knob and a bittersweet feeling flooded his gut as the breeze clung to his warmth. familiar faces holding bags in each of their hands, all with smiles on their faces is what he was greeted by—and somehow he mustered one after days of feeling numb.
"w-what are you guys doing here?" he asked, feeling a sense of relief.
"we missed you," brendan shrugged as though he should have known. "now, are you gonna let us in orrr.."
"yeah— yeah, c'mon in," he was speechless, really. as he stepped to the side to let all his friends in, an overwhelming amount of emotions flooded his body.
it felt like a stream of minions walking into a room as they kept piling in. finally looking out the door to see if anyone was left, he was face to face with a much smaller figure. you looked at him with your doe eyes, fiddling with your necklace as you felt your heart beating in your head.
you were trying to hide the ice in your veins as his gaze didn't leave you. he saw the goosebumps on your skin and bit the inside of his cheek, encased with worry.
he was quite surprised to see you. if he was being truthful, he barely thought about you since the day he dropped off the tide pen. he'd been so preoccupied that he didn't have even a minute to think about anything that didn't cause him stress.
he noticed the pen in your hand as you remained stuck in your place, like your feet were glued to the ground. the bruise on your face had faded, which he was glad to see as he cleared his throat.
"you can come in," he told you softly. "i'm not gonna eat you."
you bit your lip and gave him a breathy little smile as you looked the other way in nervousness. he didn't know how you were feeling but he could tell it wasn't good.
you were flustered. beads of water rolled down from his hair and onto the exposed skin of his chest. his skin was still a bit red from the hot shower he'd just taken, but the place your mind took you was far from that innocent act.
"are you alright?" he asked, concern laced in his voice.
"mhm," you nodded, rolling on the balls of your feet. you stood under the covered part of his porch, a little wet yourself as you'd been pelted by the rain when you were standing behind the large group of boys.
"you're dripping, c'mon, come inside," he finally demanded with a light hold on your arm, pulling you into the house. he closed the door behind him and sighed.
he realized as soon as he saw you that you weren't in any mood to speak. hell, he didn't even think you wanted to be here. but as your dad's best friend it was his responsibility to get you to warm up seeing as you'd come to visit him.
"do you want something new to wear? who let you go out like that? it's raining and you're dressed in a t-shirt," he wondered, your teeth beginning to chatter as you wrapped your arms around yourself.
you were standing out there pretending not to be cold and he knew it.
"well i-i didn't know it was raining," your voice shook. "my dad told me i should be fine."
now he remembered why he'd been so worried about you before. he sighed once more, grabbing your hand and leading you into the kitchen where everyone else was. you felt bile rising in your throat, swallowing it down as thomas approached your dad.
"is it okay if i give her something warm to wear? she's shivering, bren, look at her," he asked almost tiredly, something in his mind resembling alarms beginning to blare.
"yeah, go ahead. y/n, you should have worn something warmer," brendan scolded after replying to thomas.
you frowned. "but you told me i'd be fine."
"you know yourself better than i do, you should have known. now you're going to have to wear something of thom's, don't you—"
"okay, bren chill out," thomas grabbed his shoulder with his free hand, the other still attached to you. "take a breath, now's not the time to get riled up, alright?"
brendan looked at him then you before going back to setting up dinner. "just be quick, we're almost done here."
without another word, thomas led you up to his bedroom. his touch was gentle, so careful that it made you feel fuzzy. your stomach fluttered as you looked down at your clasped hands.
his bedroom was simple, unlike you would have imagined. well, you hadn't really ever imagined it but if you had, this wasn't what it would have looked like. there was almost zero essence of personality within the four walls claiming to be his, but you assumed it was because he was still getting settled in his new home.
"do you wanna sit?" he asked, letting go of you to hand you the hoodie that was on his bed. hesitantly, you grabbed it between your fingers.
"aren't we just going back down?" you asked quietly, looking down at the item in your hands.
"well i thought," he let out a breath. "i thought maybe we could just chill up here for a minute. i need a breath, you know? and i thought maybe you would too."
"oh," was all you were able to say. your eyes met his, emotionless as you felt dazed for a couple moments.
you didn't make a sound as you walked past him and to the foot of his bed, taking a seat on the soft mattress. you held back a gasp at how bouncy and fluffy it was, simply smiling to yourself instead before placing the tide pen down.
thomas, relieved you made yourself comfortable, used the moment to grab a shirt. you turned at the worst second, watching as the muscles of his back flexed while he pulled the shirt onto his body. your eyes widened, heart skipping a beat as you quickly looked away and decided to pull his hoodie over your head to distract you. it was too late. the image of the grooves on his back would be fixed in your mind for god knows how long.
the marks on his body intrigued you more than anything else. somehow you hadn't noticed them the last time you saw him, but they weren't fresh. you didn't remember hearing anyone talk about them either. they were probably just from hockey so that might have been why no one was concerned—that was what you told yourself so you wouldn't get in over your head with all the endless possibilities.
you shoved your arms into the hoodie as your head got trapped in the fabric and a pungent scent hit your nose, causing you to make a sound. you quickly brought your head up and took a deep breath while wiping your hair away from your face. you nearly gagged.
"what the heck?!" you exclaimed, every ounce of anxiety or nerves from before completely washing away. "what's that smell?"
you sniffed as thomas walked up to you, his face turning pale. his heart sunk to his stomach while you missed the expression in his eyes, trying to identify the scent. it was then that he realized that he'd given you his hoodie from earlier, when he'd been smoking outside.
"is that.. smoke?" you finally looked at him and noticed his agony. "you smoke?"
"look, i-i know it's gross and i know it's bad but," he fumbled with his words. "please don't tell anyone. i only do it sometimes, when i'm stressed or anxious or, i don't know. sometimes i just need it and i can't stop myself, i—"
"thomas, it's okay," you cut him off, standing up as he ran his hands over his face with a bitter chuckle.
"no, it's not. it's really not," he shook his head. "and don't tell me it is because you're going to go down there and tell them, and i've been trying my best to hide this from everyone for so long—"
"you're rambling, stop," you stopped him again, boldly placing your hands on his neck.
he was forced to look at you as you tilted his head, your thumbs running soft circles along his jawline to calm him down. his eyes softened and he found himself at a loss for words for the second time that night.
how he left himself go like that, he didn't know, and quite frankly he was embarrassed. guilty, even, for speaking like that to you. and your delicate touch only made him feel worse.
"i'm sorry," he whispered, unable to say anything else.
"hey, it's okay. i didn't say anything bad, did i?"
he shook his head, swallowing the lump in his throat. he looked down at his feet and closed his eyes, wondering how he got himself in this mess. how he was here, with you, and you were the one trying to console him when he knew it should be the other way around.
"i won't tell anyone if you don't want them to know, okay? it's not my place or my business to tell them. i'm sorry that i scared you but i promise your secret's safe with me," you spoke slowly, trying to make him understand.
"i just," he glanced up at the ceiling, foot tapping with anxiety. "it's embarrassing, you know?"
"it's not. i mean, yeah, it isn't the most healthy habit but it's nothing to be so ashamed of. you're okay, i promise."
his glossy eyes met yours and he nodded again, holding back a frown when your hands fell from his skin.
"and um, i'm sorry about.. about slamming my door in your face," you apologized sheepishly, thinking he might find it humorous. he did, which was a good sign as he smiled, a real chuckle leaving his lips this time.
"didn't take it to heart," he told you. "and thank you for.. for dealing with whatever just happened to me. i— i don't know how i let that happen but.."
"you don't need to explain yourself," you shook your head. "and you don't need to thank me, either. i'll always be here for anything you need."
"thanks," he replied in thought. how brendan raised such a sweet daughter, he'd never know. "and i'll always be here for you, that's a promise."
--
daddy issues taglist <3 @hockey-lover86 @cuttergauthierr @bbbbruins @makenzie3s @kenzie3165 @jayrami3 @hailcale @hockey-lover86 @bordelhoe @bordeleau @emsully2002 @ana-maa @rainingsunlight @fialalover @power2myheart @equallyshaw
#thomas bordeleau#thomas bordeleau imagine#thomas bordeleau imagines#thomas bordeleau x reader#dbf!thom#dbf!thomas#dbf!thomas x reader#dad!brendan#dad!briss#umich hockey imagine#daddy issues au#thomas bordeleau fic
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photo album pictures - 👻🧼
Im back again with girl dads soapghost and their daughter maddy !!!!!!!!!!! they got facepaint together cause she didn’t want to do it alone and her dads are not the ones to say no LOL
maddy and soap doodle in the corners of pictures and they always make ghost do it too hehehe
(someone said they probably use their stitching skills from the field to stitch her clothes and patches and they’re a hundred percent right!!!)
#tbpng#maddyverse#gave myself stronger daddy issues drawing this one folks#enjoy#call of duty#cod#ghostsoap#soapghost#ghoap#simon riley#simon ghost riley#ghost#john mactavish#john soap mactavish#cod hcs#cod hc#cod au
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You’re Mine, Sunshine ❝part three❞
♡ Pairing: Grumpy!Bodyguard!Bucky Barnes x Sunshine!Fem!Reader
♡ Summary: Bucky has a surprise meeting with Pierce, getting informed about your secret admire. Meanwhile, Bucky tries to keep things professional, he’s hesitant to cross the line when you need him.
♡ Warnings: language, fluff, angst, death threats, stalking, daddy issues, hints to anxiety, mentions of alcohol
Part 4
Trope ⇢ Grumpy x Sunshine | Mob!Au Bodyguard!Au
It was the next day, early in the morning. You were still asleep while Bucky was downstairs moving in his stuff, with Steve’s help of course.
Steve was in charge of the perimeter guard team around your house, and found some free time to help his pal Bucky move in. He also was curious about you, never having met you face to face. But the stories he had heard from your Father— scared him.
Steve plopped down a bag at the front door, wiping some sweat off his brow.
“So Buck, what do you think so far?” Steve asked him, both of them chilling by the doorway.
Bucky shrugged, leaning himself against the frame.
“It’s fine. I’ve done this before an—”
“I meant, what do you think about her so far?” Steve corrected himself, and Bucky bit his lip— deep in thought.
“Shes fine.” Bucky answered shortly, and he could tell by Steve’s brows raising— that he wasn’t satisfied with his answer.
“C’mon Buck, give me more than that! Is she as bad as Pierce makes her out to be? Or worse?” Steve rambled on, while a bucky was getting annoyed.
“Ya know— she’s actually not bad at all. She’s pretty quiet, keeps to herself— extremely polite.” Bucky told him defensively, he didn’t know why but he felt the need to stick up for you.
He felt awful that you were made out to be this— monster. When you were far from it.
Steve gave him a ‘really?’ look and still wasn’t buying it.
“You’re not messing with me? The whole perimeter team is afraid of her because of bosses stories.” Steve pointed out.
Bucky huffed, clearly annoyed with Steve’s rambling.
“I’m serious.”
“Huh. Wonder why Pierce gives her one hell of a warning. Think she’s just pretending?” Steve persisted, causing Bucky to roll his eyes.
“Seriously Steve, I don’t have time to talk about her all day. I have a job to do.”
“Okay, okay. I’ll let ya be. Just let me know if there’s anything interesting that goes on.” Steve told him, making Bucky chuckle.
“Sure thing.” He responded sarcastically.
“Is she pretty?” Steve asked one last time, pausing his step to leave.
“Fucking hell— seriously?” Bucky scoffed, watching Steve walk down the stairs laughing.
He was glad he was walking away, that way he couldn’t see the blush that had dusted his cheeks at the thought of you. Well yeah— you were attractive. But it was strictly professional, and he’d never see you anything more than his mission. But with Steve’s words, he couldn’t help but think otherwise for a slight moment.
He closed the door, sliding all the locks in place— making sure it was safe and secure. As he was leaning down to grab his bag, he heard the tiny echoes of footsteps approaching.
“Good morning Mr. Barnes!”
Bucky turned to glance up the stairs, at the top was you— still in your pajamas. He hated to admit it to himself, but even just minutes after you’d woken up— your hair evidence. He still thought you looked pretty.
“Morning (Y/n).” He breathed out, hoping that his cheeks were back to a neutral color.
You smiled wider, loving it when he said your name. You wondered for a second why, but perhaps it was because you were so forgotten on a daily basis— no one ever seeking you out— speaking to you. It felt nice to be called, even if it was something as simple as ‘good morning’. You felt appreciated.
“Did you sleep okay?” You asked him, walking down the stairs to meet him.
He shrugged, not sure if he should tell you the truth. That he didn’t even sleep in the bed at all, instead making a makeshift bed on the floor.
“It was fine.” He lied.
You gave him a tight lipped smile, a knowing look that alerted him that you knew something.
“Really? I peeked into your room, looking for you and I saw blankets and a pillow on the floor. The bed didn’t look like it had been touched.” You said softly, being careful to not make him feel embarrassed.
His jaw was clenching, the thought of you going into his room looking for him. He wasn’t sure if the feeling was a bad one or good.
“Yes really, I slept fine.” He repeated, hoping that you’d be convinced somehow.
You giggled, making to the second to last step.
“Okay, whatever you say. You can always wake me up if you ever can’t sleep. Sometimes it’s good to talk to someone about what’s on your mind, so you can go to bed with a clear head.” You suggested.
He fought the smile down harder this time, your sweet demeanor almost infectious. Every time he saw you smile, it caused the corners of his mouth to twitch.
He nodded at your suggestion, deciding not to respond verbally.
“I’m going to make breakfast, would you like a plate? I’m assuming you haven’t eaten yet.” You asked him, fully down the stairs now standing in front of him.
It was only now that he could see the height difference, he was towering over you. You looked so tiny from his view— you looked adorable.
As he was about to decline your offer, his stomach growled— echoing through the main entrance. You laughed, clutching your own stomach. The tune of your laughter had his chest warm again. He forgot a time in his time where he was around so much laughter. He had missed it.
“I’ll go ahead and make you a plate and leave it in the fridge. You can decide if you want it now or later.” You told him, turning to walk away— towards the kitchen.
He felt very welcomed here. You were so inviting and sweet, he couldn’t help but want to break down his walls a bit.
“Thanks (Y/n).” He spoke out, causing you to turn.
“No need Mr. Barnes, I’d be happy to do it.” You assured him.
Bucky bit his lip for a moment before speaking out again.
“James.” He spoke out, watching your expression grow confused for a moment. “You can call me James.”
You sent him a smile, your own cheeks dusting pink.
“Okay James.” You tested out, and you couldn’t help the way it felt rolling off your tongue.
Bucky on the other hand, didn’t know he would like hearing you say his name so much. It was a name he didn’t let people use too often, but for some reason he allowed you to.
You turned and headed towards the kitchen, leaving Bucky alone with his thoughts. You were slowly wrapping him around your little finger. He hated it.
~
Later that day, Pierce had sent one of his men to your home. Informing Bucky that Pierce wanted to meet with him. He was still unsure why, but knew not to question the boss.
That’s where he found himself standing in Pierce’s office again, while you waited outside the office patiently. Bucky couldn’t help but feel bad when Pierce asked you to wait outside, not even sparing you a warm greeting or hug. It wasn’t very Fatherly of him.
“Mr. Barnes I’m sure you’re wondering why I’ve called you in today,” Pierce started, walking around his desk, “We’ve received some… interesting photos recently. Thought you should take a look.”
Bucky furrowed his brows, grabbing the folder in Pierces outstretched hand— opening the file up to see many pictures of you. They were all from a far away perspective, all photos you were unaware were taken.
It seemed you had an admirer— more like stalker.
He pushed around the pictures, his eyes focusing on one photo in particular. You were sitting on a bench reading a book, with the words ‘she’d look so much prettier dead’ written in red across the image.
The message had Bucky’s stomach flipping, the looming threat that now rested over his head, over yours. It definitely wasn’t an admirer, more like someone trying to mess with you— to get to your Father.
“These were just dropped off here?” Bucky asked on edge.
“No, they were found by one of the perimeter guards near her house. I’m just glad we found it before she did.” He explained, rubbing his temples in stress.
“Are you going to tell her?” Bucky wondered.
“Hell no— her knowing would only make her a paranoid mess. For your sanity— it’s best she’s kept in the dark.” Pierce suggested, while Bucky wasn’t so sure that’d end well.
Bucky wanted to say something but chose otherwise, Pierce seemed to notice the judgement on his face.
“Listen, my men are handling this situation as best as they can. All I’m asking is for you to continue to do your job, and keep your mouth shut about this.” Pierce made himself clear, not giving Bucky a chance to speak— walking back around his desk to sit.
“Yes sir.” Bucky nodded, though he felt indifferent about the whole situation.
You were clearly in danger, and Bucky of course wasn’t doubting his ability to protect you— but he was more concerned about the lack of concern Pierce had for his daughter.
“That will be all.” Pierce dismissed him, sliding his glasses back on.
Bucky turned to walk out, and when the door opened, he wasn’t expecting you to barge in. His hands hovered over your arms, wondering if he even had the right to stop you from coming in.
“Hi Dad, I was wondering if we could talk.” You tried, shifting nervously on your feet in dread of his answer.
Bucky watched uncomfortably from the doorway, unsure if he should leave or not. Hesitantly, he stayed.
Pierce ripped off his glasses, rubbing his eyes in frustration.
“Who let you in?” He asked calmly, though he was far from it.
You took a deep breath, trying not to let your hurt show. You hadn’t even been in the room for a minute and he was already sick of you.
“I- I did.” You uttered out.
Bucky couldn’t help but notice how small you were trying to make yourself, how you were nervously fidgeting with the hem of your shirt.
Pierce scoffed, trying to focus on his papers— pretend that you weren’t there.
“Dad, I was wondering if you wanted to get dinner with me tonight? We could go to Sarah’s restaurant.” You asked him, biting your lip anxiously— waiting for his response.
Pierce glanced up, looking you over for a moment trying to come up with an answer.
“I have a lot of work that needs to be done (Y/n).” He breathed out, massaging his temples.
“It doesn’t have to be for long!” You argued, your heart beating faster— knowing deep down what his answer would be.
“I just can’t. Please understand that?” He pushed, his tone growing more aggravated.
You glanced behind you, sneaking a look at Bucky. He stood silently, pretending he wasn’t listening and merely watching over you— as it’s his job. But, he had heard everything and was quite invested into this conversation. On the other hand, you felt embarrassed that he was witnessing your Father letting you down.
Facing your Father again, you sent him a pleading look.
“Dad please… I miss you.” You whispered, hoping Bucky wouldn’t hear your pathetic voice.
He did.
Pierce looked at you, almost right through you. It was clear that your begging did nothing to convince him— that you solemn state didn’t concern him. He ran a hand through his gray hair, closing his eyes in thought.
“I’m sorry peanut, maybe another time.” He said so softly.
The words did nothing to comfort you, instead filling your body with frustration. It was funny that the only time he ever used that tone, or that nickname that you used to love— was when he was sending you away.
It almost felt like he was teasing you, jabbing at your inner child. Like things were supposed to be better, that letting you down wasn’t supposed to hurt as much because he was using the nickname. If anything, it only reopened the wound. The sweet tone like salt sinking into the wound. It forced you to remember a time where he had loved you. Past tense.
Blinking back the tears you felt approaching, you took a deep breath, giving him a fake smile.
“It’s okay, you’re right maybe some other time.” You lied to yourself, you knew this was an empty promise.
Pierce sent you a pitied look, and in a second focused back on his papers. Going back to ignoring your presence.
You couldn’t hold the tears back for much longer, and decided to leave the room calmly. Your goal to make it out of the building before the tears could fall.
You passed by Bucky without a word, not that he needed to ask where you were going— knowing he’d follow you. He watched as you pressed the elevator button, your leg bouncing in impatience. Your hurried movements were causing Bucky to frown in concern.
“(Y/n), are you alright?” He asked quietly, not trying to bring any attention on you.
You looked his way and nodded your head without a word— which was unlike you.
Before he could ask again, the door opened and you stepped in. Bucky stepped in behind you, pressing the ground floor. The elevator ride was filled with thick tension, an uncomfortable energy flowing throughout the small space.
Thankfully, the room dinged, and the doors opened for them to exit. Bucky was leading you to the car that was waiting for you by the curb. He hurried and opened the door for you, watching you slide in quickly.
He could sense your discomfort even as he shut the door and glanced at your figure through the tinted glass. He figured he’d get you home as quickly as he could, seeing as that’s what you wanted. Not a word had been spoken between the two of you, but it was almost like you knew the routine already.
Sliding into the drivers seat, he risked a glance in the rear view mirror— his heart aching at your dull expression. You were staring mindlessly at the headrest in front of you— lost in your thoughts.
He focused back in front of him, shifting the clutch until he was accelerating forward, heading home.
He wasn’t going to glance back again, that was until he heard a sniffle. Glancing up, he quickly regretted it. He frowned at the sight of your wet cheeks, watching you attempt to wipe them dry— but the tears kept coming.
He suddenly felt anger towards Pierce, the way he dismissed you like you weren’t his daughter— someone of importance. It saddened Bucky, your kindness doing you no favors.
He didn’t realize he was staring, until he felt your eyes on his. He focused through the mirror, holding your bloodshot eyes with pity.
You were looking at him with longing— for comfort that had always been pushed away from you. You didn’t know why you searched for it suddenly from him, maybe you were desperate. Yeah, that’s it.
“Just relax, I’ll let you know when we’re home.” Bucky said the only thing that came to mind, although there were thousands of things he probably, should’ve said.
You gave him a weak smile, one that had Bucky internally wincing. Hating the way it didn’t reach your eyes. Suddenly he missed your smile, your true smile.
With a nod, you rested your cheek against your hand against the window— letting the rumble of the car lull you to sleep. Bucky watched your eyes shut, and ever so slowly your expression shifted to something peaceful.
~
Bucky let his mind wander on the drive home, and he couldn't help his mind from wandering to you.
A part of him still didn't understand why you were so opposite from how Pierce described you. He had yet to make sense of it all. He was starting to come to terms with the idea that Pierce was just mean. Maybe he didn't give you enough time, maybe you had yet to show your true colors.
Arriving home, it wasn’t dark yet— but the sky had started to dim. He checked the mirror, not surprised to see you still asleep. He got out of the car, walked around to open your door. Thankfully, you had moved off the window during your slumber.
“(Y/n), we’re home.” He whispered, watching you mumble something, but otherwise stayed asleep.
He gently shook your arm, rocking your body just slightly in attempt to wake you.
“(Y/n)?” He tried again, this time louder.
You nodded your head like you had heard him, but still— your eyes remained closed. Bucky couldn’t help but shake his head with a light chuckle.
He wasn’t sure what had come over him. He blamed it on the fact that he felt bad, witnessing you getting turned down by your Father. But as he scooped you up in a bridle position, he couldn’t ignore the warmth spreading throughout him. You snuggled your face into his chest, letting his scent lull you into a deeper sleep. Bucky couldn’t fight down the butterflies that your gesture had caused.
He continued into the house, locking the door all with one hand before heading upstairs to your room. He should’ve been surprised at the elegancy of your room, but it seemed so you. He smirked at the space, all the little things scattered around the room that made it you.
Reminding himself he could ogle at your room another time, he set you down on the bed, his hand gently cradling the back of your head until it met the pillow. Instinctively, he got to work and started untying the laces on your shoes. Slipping them both off gently, before picking up your legs and placing them on the bed.
He lifted your body for a moment, pulling back the cover so you couldn’t slide under. Soon, you were snug and tucked under the blankets. Bucky gave you one last look— be told himself it was strictly for his job. But he found himself just wanting to look at you for a moment.
Letting his eyes fall from your face, he started to turn to leave. That was until your hand grabbed his, stopping him.
“James?” You mumbled sleepily.
He turned and looked at you, glancing at your hand holding his for a second.
“You’re okay, just carried you to bed.” He told you quietly, watching your eyes droop.
You let your mind brew a crazy idea. Stay with me. You wanted to tell him, you wanted to whisper those words so badly. He was the closest thing to comfort you had in so long, and you clung to it— to him so desperately. You didn’t want to scare him away, you couldn’t help yourself from coming on too strong. Besides, you thought it felt wrong to ask your bodyguard such a thing.
Instead of whispering the words that itched to come out, you released his hand— and let your eyes shut completely. Falling into a deep sleep, hoping that your dreams could be filled with comfort.
Bucky watched you let go, and melt back into the pillow. He waited as it looked like you had something to say. He wasn’t shocked when you fell back asleep, but he was more shocked at his sadness at your lack of words.
Without giving you another glance, he headed out of your room. Shutting the door softly, until he heard the click. He wasn’t sure what was up with him today, he blamed it on his pitied brain. He needed to remind himself that he was working, and he had no time to slack off. Rubbing a hand down his face, he exhaled loudly— heading downstairs in search of alcohol.
He hoped that he could drown out his distracting thoughts, needing a clear mind by tomorrow. He needed to stop his walls from crumbling around you.
TAGLIST: @winters1917 @unaxv @sebastianstansqueen @casa-boiardi @sonatabee @nytzirhk @almosttoopizza @erinallene @daddy-dotcom @h0nestly-though @beautiful-loserr @gloriouspurpose01 @lesleurs @justherefortheficandsmut @floralwsloki @dottirose @madi-be-buggin @navs-bhat @happinessinthebeing @ximi1315 @buggy14 @dancer3205 @neeezza101 @rovckwells @loki-is-loved @yujyujj @wolfstarrrr @distinguishedbluebirdtriumph @tatianah26 @mrs-bucky-barnes-73 @lethallyprotected @sadboiabby @ziatracy @doveromanoff @whattheduckisupkyle @buckysgirl85 @etherealdisneyvillainness @doctorlilo @torntaltos @raging-panda @livingoffsavvyillusions @lmao-liz @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @toriluvsfics @baconeggndcheez @nialiuwanderlust @nabiiturner @nickangel13 @queerqueenlynn @memyselfandi19 @mentalidrainedfangirl @wattpaduser200 @obsessedbutnotblessed @iris-shihabi @thecubanator2 @chloe-skywalker @oatballsoffury
#bucky barnes#the winter soldier#marvel cinematic universe#sebastian stan#reader insert#buckybarnes#fluff#bodyguard!bucky barnes x reader#bodyguard bucky barnes#bodyguard au#mob au#light angst#grumpy x sunshine#grumpy bucky barnes x sunshine reader#female reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes fic#protective bucky barnes#daddy issues#grumpy x sunshine trope#beefy bucky barnes#the falcon and the winter soldier#james buchanan barnes#mcu fic#steve rogers
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#i definitely remember to post here 💀#totally don't forget 💀💀#anyways 💀💀💀#arcane#fanart#arcane art#childhood au#vi and vander#daddy issues are strong#gemathan
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what’s with me and the older, emotionally unstable/unavailable men (with)out masks? they all have trauma, they’re all older, they all look like they could crush me. i think it’s all part of the raging daddy issues…anyways…
#konig cod#simon ghost riley#arthur morgan#joel miller#leon s kennedy#leon x reader#leon kennedy#leon kennedy smut#re2 leon#re2 remake#re4 remake#leon kennedy au#leqonsluv3rrambles#daddy issues
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With Your Touch, Part 2
Summary: Lloyd has some rules, and very little control.
Pairings: Lloyd Hansen X Au Pair!Reader
Rating: explicit
Warnings: explicit language, explicit sexual tension, video sex, a bit of voyeurism, implied male masturbation, teasing, daddy issues, 18+ ONLY
Word Count: 5.9K
Previous
Series Masterlist
*dividers created by @firefly-graphics
“Shh, sweetheart. We’ve got to tell your daddy you need a proper middle name. Unless you’re European. Can you tell me if you are?” Lyla giggles a bit, reaching a hand up to touch your face. “Oh, I knew it. You want one. So what do you think your dad will like an A name? A B name?” The baby squeals so loud you hear Lloyd’s loud banging stop. Pausing while he focuses on Lyla’s voice.
“Was that a good sound or bad? I haven’t learned her noises. Cries. Voice. I don’t know what the correct terminology would be, but I haven’t learned it.”
“It isn’t bad. She’s communicating with me.”
“What?” His voice is laced in so much confusion that you find it so endearing. He was obnoxious, but trying. His rules for you as the au pair were a bit too much, but the pay was ridiculously good. And Chase didn’t live too far. He could sneak in.
You walk into Lyla’s room, wanting to laugh as Lloyd curses at the crib he was trying to put together. Looking down at the sweet baby in your arms as her daddy throws something else, “He’s pitching a fit.”
“No the — no, I’m not. This stupid thing is impossible with these dumbass directions. And she can’t sleep in her bedroom. I don’t want her to sleep in the portable crib anymore. I want her to have a space of her own. I highly doubt her whore of a mother gave her that. And yes, she is. Any woman that drops off a baby with their father who knows fuck all about kids is a whore and shitty human being. And Lyla, I apologize. I’m working on not talking like an asshole around her.”
Working on it, and failing miserably, it is still cute he thinks he’s going to change that quickly. Even just acknowledging that type of language isn’t suitable for her is a start. “And here I am in over my head, putting together an overly pink bedroom for her because she didn’t ask to be born, and I am extra.”
“Yeah, designer baby clothes aren't what a lot of parents do.”
“How did your father dress you?”
Chuckling, you put Lyla in her carrier. You place her slightly behind, but still beside Lloyd, and plant yourself beside him, grabbing up the directions. “Roman didn’t dress me. My mother did. Roman might have paid for things, but my mom was the one that was there always. So you’re doing a lot better than him.”
“Is this a moment you tell me you have daddy issues?”
Snorting, you look up at him, shaking your head no, “This is me telling you my experience with my father. Having a dad in a girl’s life makes a difference. I call him Roman. What do you want Lyla to call you?”
“Dad.”
“You know you didn’t hesitate?” Taking a deep inhale, Lloyd grabs the directions from you, busying himself in reading them. You don’t think he actually is looking at them, he’s absorbing what you said, while also refusing to look at you and show you his vulnerability. “Speaking of which, why doesn’t she have a middle name?”
“Why does she need one?”
“What’s your middle name?” You counter quickly, and he leans back. His eyes gazing over your body. Wondering where the hell you came from because clearly you didn’t know who he was.
He narrows his eyes, looking at you and then his daughter. Lyla can’t help but to giggle at him. Tiny little thing. You wonder if she was malnourished or just a bit miniature anyways. “Bennett,” he waits to see if you react before continuing. “Why does she need one?”
“Beatrice,” he looks down at the baby who chuckles again. “She likes you, and she told me she wanted a name that started with B, and now I find out your name starts with a B. I think you and your daddy are a perfect pair, don’t you Miss Lyla Bee?” Despite whatever nonsense her mother had her living in, she's a happy baby. One that is very much aware of her daddy. Her bright green eyes focus on him when he looks at her.
“Lyla Bee. I like that. She’s like my little bumble bee. Should we get rid of all the pink and change it to bumble bees? Did I make a mistake with the pink? What if she doesn’t like pink?”
You shrug your shoulders. It really didn’t matter what she liked. She seemed to like her dad, and he adored her, and wanted to do right by her. “I think we should keep the pink. Here, you tend to the baby, and let me have a go at this crib. You’re messing everything up. And she really likes you.”
“But you’re the au pair?” He says, holding onto Lyla. He gives his finger to her, and her little baby fingers wrap around him tightly.
“And you’re mucking up this crib. Can I? I helped my mom with my little brother’s crib. It was a long time ago. But,” you go silent, grabbing the directions back from Lloyd. Using the same tactic he did earlier. Focus on this and ignore the questions, “No, Roman is not his father.”
“Didn’t ask,” he didn’t have to. Everyone else did. Your brother was an angel, and his father was…well, he was there. He made sure that Vincent was taken care of. Might not have offered you any attention, but you weren’t his responsibility.
“You thought it, so that was enough. I like the simple, but extravagant theme you went for in her bedroom though. Even if the Dior bunny is a bit much.”
“She likes it,” he chuckles, looking down at his daughter. “My partner told me buying things is my love language.”
“You must really love your daughter then,” he whispers out ‘yeah’, not realizing how much it hurts you that he loves someone he just met. And your father knew about you during the pregnancy. You didn’t have daddy issues. You had men issues. Men couldn’t be trusted. There were to be looked at, and put to good use.
You flop down on the seat next to Lloyd on the couch with a cup of microwave macaroni and cheese. You take a bite of the easy dinner, glancing at the television while Lloyd scowls. His eyes drift over your body, slightly confused. Watching as your jaw pulses with your chews.
“I feel you watching me,” he didn’t hide his facial expressions. You could read exactly what he was thinking by the quirks of his brows and mouth alone. Not that you had been paying attention to his mouth.
“What is that dreadful shit you’re eating?”
You turn your body towards him, and slowly take another bite. Noting how his eyes go to your mouth as he watches you chew in disgust. “It only took three and a half minutes to make.”
“It smells like it did. But what are you eating?” This man has been rich his entire life. Didn’t even know the joys of microwaveable food.
“It’s mac and cheese,” you giggle. Scooping out a bit, and you hold the spoon out for him. “Try it.”
“I’d rather not,” his face no longer disgusted, but more indifferent.
“Because you’re scared to eat after me?” He rolls his eyes as you take another bite of the sinfully delicious and preservative filled dinner. It probably had too much sodium in it, and the way you dressed it up surely didn’t help. But it was simple and comforting all the same. Lloyd could learn to loosen up a bit. Bring himself down to a ‘normal lifestyle’.
“While sharing a spoon with you does repulse me. The idea of eating something that came out of a microwave is just as disgusting. Did your father not feed you well?”
“Roman,” you emphasize his name. One day Lloyd would understand that Roman was nothing but a sperm donor and a bank. “He didn’t feed me. My mother did. And she wanted me to be normal.”
“Eating proper food is normal,” you liked him. Legitimately liked him. He also didn’t get offended when you popped back. He probably always had someone around him ready to take orders. That is until you.
“I mean have the American dream.”
“Yes, the American dream is definitely to eat food that is cheaper than toilet paper.”
Slowly blinking, you watch him watch you. Something that should be uncomfortable with the lack of a baby as a buffer wasn’t. You wanted to bring him back down to earth. He was a bit pompous and a lot of an asshole, and you still liked it. “I’m going to make you a cup.”
“Please don’t,” his voice is flat as he watches you jump up from the couch.
“And you’re going to at least try it.”
“I’d rather not,” he is too stiff and robotic with his movements. You want to reach over to his shoulders and make him slouch. Maybe if you made him laugh or shook him? Made him dance with you? You were going to make him break.
“And after you’ve tried it, if you still think the same we can drop it. But what I put into my body is my business. What you put into yours is your business. We won’t judge one another. You can oblige me by cooking me and Lyla Bee a delicious dinner one evening. I’ll humor you, and try your rich people food, mkay?”
This isn’t at all what Lloyd had bargained for. A girl who was given no boundaries. But you had helped him get Lyla’s bedroom in order. She was even sleeping soundly in her crib while a monitor sat on the coffee table. You hadn’t complained when he would start throwing things in a fit. And somehow managed to calm him down.
“Fine, but I don’t cook. I have a private chef,” he responds, following you into the kitchen. Eyeing you as you go into the pantry. “Where did this come from?”
Sighing, you open up the fridge producing a container of shredded cheese, and walk to the counter. “I had it delivered while you were taking a nap with Lyla. It’s really cute to see you sleeping with a baby on your chest. You know, I could watch her. Nap time leaves me nothing to do but use Roman’s card to have some food delivered here.”
“I read you should try to bond with your baby whenever you can. I missed time with her. Wait — you were watching me sleep?” It was quick, but you saw his smirk. Did he like you watching him sleep? That almost feels like an invasion of privacy. Or did he like that you looked at him? Called him cute? What was this?
“It got quiet in the apartment. So I went to find you,” and you might have wandered around the giant apartment as well. His bedroom was just the first place you looked. And you might have enjoyed what you saw, and you might have created a quick but stupid scenario of your husband doing that. Not Lloyd in particular, just a blank faced man who may or may not have had a mustache.
“You’re a snoop?”
“I’m curious by nature,” it wasn’t a lie. You weren’t looking for something to hurt or burn Lloyd with. Just wanted to give a gander through everything. “So what exactly are my hours? When you’re here do you want me to be here? Can I request time off? Have a social life? You won’t exactly let me have people here, and I do respect that. This is yours and Lyla’s space, and I know with your line of work discretion is advised. But I can’t have my only friends be you and a baby. I do have a boyfriend, and I fear I won’t if I don’t see him.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” Lloyd smirks. That smile dies quickly as he watches you mix up the cheese concoction to the now completed noodles, and slide the disposable container to him. “You’re not going to put this in a real bowl?”
After washing your hands, you splash a bit of water on him. Giggling when his face turns into a snarl, “Loosen up. This is microwave food. And I need to see other people. Do you not like Chase?”
“His name is dumb,” rolling your eyes, you look away from him. Listening for any signs of movement on the monitor while Lloyd takes a tentative bite of the mac and cheese. Curling up his nose until the spoon touches his tongue, and you see his eyebrows go up. “But this isn’t that bad.”
“What’s wrong with his name?”
“Chase is a verb,” he answers matter of fact. He was going to be one of those. Complete alpha male, and you were bringing someone into his home that was hurting his ego. You weren’t even sure if Chase was the one, but he is definitely the one right now. You didn’t meet your forever person in college, and you’re not even sure you believe in that. You just find someone you tolerate and make sure the sex is good. Plus Chase was amazing to look at and a lot of fun.
“And I don’t want boys in and out of Lyla Bee’s life,” he liked the way the nickname you gave her sounded. It suited his sweet little bee. She had proven to be the sweetest and most cuddly baby he’d ever met. But he had only met one.
“I can respect that as long as you respect the fact that he is my boyfriend,” Lloyd didn’t really want to or have to for that matter. But you were new to this life and to him. You’d eventually see that Lloyd commanded all. Not that he would torture you like he did some. As long as you followed the rules.
“Fine.”
“Is it okay that I came out here tonight? Would you rather me stay holed up in my room? Alone?”
“No,” he answers, walking to the garbage can to dispose of the trash. He heads towards the sink, washing his spoon quickly before leaving you to go back into the living room. Leaving you with more questions than answers.
“No, as in it’s okay that I came out?”
“Were you supposed to stay in your bedroom and starve?” Well that was a simple question to answer. But it was your first night here, and you didn’t know what boundaries he had that you shouldn’t cross. “I don’t expect us to be best friends. But we live together. You’re the woman that takes care of my daughter, and I’m the man.”
Saying it in such simple terms made this arrangement sound strange. You didn’t want to be an au pair, and didn’t see yourself living with a man and his daughter. His baby daughter, who couldn’t even crawl. Currently you think about this weird living situation, and how lines could easily become blurred here.
“What are my duties?”
“You’ve already told me that you have daddy issues, and now you’re asking me what your duties are? Please. I’m going to bed. This line of question is — it’s not good for me. Goodnight, Dolly. Stay up as long as you like, but in the morning I’ll be gone. Tomorrow will be all your responsibility. I’ve added a monitor to your room. If it’s before five, I can tend to her.”
He walks off leaving you with even more questions. Why did he suddenly have that outburst? What had made him seem so sensitive? And you didn’t have daddy issues. You were just fine without your father. You didn’t seek the approval of a man, or needed one to keep you in line. Sure you might watch Lloyd with Lyla and wish that Roman had even an ounce of care that Lloyd had shown in the first few hours that you met him.
Lyla is lucky to have a man that stepped up to be her father. He didn’t have to. From what you understand he didn’t even know of her existence, but it didn’t matter. She was his priority.
Exhaling deeply, you turn off all the lights, and walk to your bedroom. You’d promised Chase you would call once you were settled in bed. You’d leave the awkward talk with Lloyd for tomorrow, or whenever he decided to show up. Giving a look towards his door instead of Lyla’s telling yourself you would crack him. It was one day, and things wouldn’t always be this awkward.
Sitting on your overly plush bed, you call up Chase, and he answers on the first ring, “FaceTime me. I want to see you.”
Flipping it over to a video call, you see his handsome face, and smile like a schoolgirl. “Nice room. Have you figured out how I’m going to be able to sneak in there?”
“Chase!”
“Oh, come on. It will be fun. I’ve never fucked an au pair before,” you roll your eyes. Letting the camera drift a bit before pulling apart your pajama top. Giving him a quick flash of your chest. “Oh, princess, I like that. Is that why you called me? We’ve never had phone sex before.”
”Being around a baby and a man child today made me miss you,” you give him a little pout. The performance that he loved so much, and you just enjoyed to see him get feral. “All I could think about was falling asleep because you wore me out.”
”I could fucking wear you out.”
“Oh, yeah? What would you do to me?”
“I know how you like an audience. Maybe not actually seeing you, but you love when people can hear you. You think daddy Lloyd would have a problem hearing you whisper my name?” Daddy Lloyd? Now why did that give you a bit of a pause. A rumble in your belly that you hadn’t expected. Ignoring a few of Chase’s words as your mind ponders, going in so many different directions of why those words strung together made you…feel.
“He’d hear you gasping for breath as I stab into that sweet little cunt. Or maybe he’d walk in to see you riding me. Why don’t you remind me how you ride me,” you hum at him, and he pans the camera down to his lap, and he’s gripping the base of his cock so tightly. Beads of precum gather at the tip. Normally he’d have his cock already covered in a condom. But seeing him in all his glory is doing something to you.
“Grab a pillow, and pretend it’s me. I’ll stroke my cock to whatever pace you set.”
—
Lloyd flops to the other side. Grabbing his pillow he covers his head thinking about anything besides what he is hearing. He shouldn’t have added the camera to your room. But to be fair the cameras were in every fucking room in the apartment. How was he going to protect you and his daughter if he didn’t know what was going on?
Maybe the ones in the bathroom were too much, but they weren’t pointing at the toilet. My god, he wanted to look. Wanted to turn the volume down. Wanted to get that stupid verb out of his mind. But the verb wouldn’t stop talking. It isn’t even fair that you are whispering. It is normal for people to masturbate. You’d just sound better without his pathetic attempts at phone sex.
“Ugh,” Lloyd growls. He could exit out of the app if he wanted to, but he didn’t. Is it because he didn’t want to? Is it because he liked the sound of your sweet noises? Or is it because it had been too long since he had felt something besides his hand? He isn’t sure. The only thing he was truly positive about was you were killing him.
All fucking day. Acting all innocent and oblivious. He’d been away from women for too long, and you were…you knew what you were doing. Your cute little domestic moments with his daughter. You made him army ration mac and cheese that were at least edible. You helped him. You didn’t even ask, you just sat down and helped him. And you were sweet with his baby.
His emotions are conflicting with his need to…
He had to stop this utter nonsense. He isn’t a rational man, but he did what he had to do with the cameras. And now it’s backfiring on him because you can’t fucking whisper a moan. Why did your heavy breathing sound so sexy?
Why did he want to look? Were you topless? One peek wouldn’t hurt. But it would be crossing a line. How would he feel if someone was doing this with his daughter? He wouldn’t like it. You were Roman’s daughter. Even though he didn’t tell him you had the prettiest…
Nope. He is spiraling down into a sinful rabbit hole. His cock is too hard and angry and it is killing him to not look. He even fears grabbing his phone to turn down the volume will make him want to watch you. See you do whatever the fuck you are doing. Judging by the sounds and whatever The Verb was saying, you are grinding on a fucking pillow.
One look won’t hurt.
Nope, he can’t do this. He throws the blanket off him. Sitting up in the bed, he rests his elbows on his knees. Head in his hands as he tries to make his cock calm down. He was lonely. But it feels even wrong to fuck his fist because your voice is what got him hard.
This arrangement was needed, but this is difficult. Feeling a bit impossibly hard right now. Everything was hard. Including his fucking cock. It was quaking with the need to be dealt with.
Shaking his head, he stands up. His cock pressing uncomfortably against his boxers. A walk through the apartment is much needed. Get away from the noise. Maybe eat another somewhat edible peasant mac and cheese.
This was a bad idea. He sees the soft glow underneath your bedroom door, and has a deep desire to sling it open and get on to you for being…
No. He can’t do that. You’re not ‘breaking’ any of his rules. You’re just mutually masturbating with your boyfriend, and you’re taking too long. Not that he would make sure to fuck you quickly. He just doesn’t want someone else taking their time with you.
What the fuck is he even talking about? He can’t fuck you. You were Lyla’s. He just paid you. He could pay you in other ways.
No!
You fucking asked him what your duties were. He’d love for your duties to be getting to your knees and letting him see how pretty your mouth looked with his cock in it. His tip nudging the back of your throat while tears fill your eyes, and your lungs cry for air.
What the actual fuck? Why was he like this? Why was this a struggle? And why is he going the opposite way of the kitchen? Landing directly in front of your door? Listening to your sounds live. Panting. Whimpering. Not saying The Verb’s name. He’d have you screaming his name. He would have you begging for him to let you come. Have you edged all day because you wanted to tease him with silly little questions about your duties.
He’d have tears falling down your cheeks as he smirks down at you. Letting you know what a pathetic and needy little slut you were. Fuck you so hard your eyes are rolling into the back of your head, and you’re completely dumb. So dumb that you’re just spouting out random words until he’s left his seed inside your belly.
Walking to your bathroom to get a washcloth to clean you up before leaving you blissed out. Making you so needy that you beg for his attention. Start being a good girl so you get more time with is cock in — inside of you. Ready to crawl on your knees after Lyla was put to sleep, and telling him you’re his little sex doll. And he would make so much use of your body and holes. Fucking you every night. Special time just for you. Just so he can feel your tight…tight…tight walls milk him dry.
”Lloyd?” Your voice pants on the other side of the room. “Lloyd is that you?” Getting closer to the door. He tucks his cock back in his boxers. Not even realizing he had been rubbing one out to your sounds. Wiping his hands on the silk of his underwear when you sling the door open.
How did you become prettier? A sheen of sweat around your hairline, and yep…you’d been grinding on a fucking pillow. Your bed is a crumbled up mess and a pillow is right in the middle of the bed. “Is everything okay? Sorry, I was…I was telling Chase goodnight.”
The Verb. You had shorts on earlier. Now it’s this t-shirt that was barely covering your legs. Were you naked? Did you show him your pussy? Your chest continues to heave, and he hates The Verb. He despises him. He’s got to go. You can’t spend time with Lyla and him if The Verb was in the picture. “Lloyd, are you okay?”
“I’m hungry.”
”I’m confused,” what was his reason for being at your door, telling you that he was hungry.
”I like ramen. The gross kind. The kind that…”
”Like top ramen?” You ask him confused. Mouth still slightly open as you try to catch your breath and his eyebrow quirks up. Did you know he was listening to you and stroking himself?
“Yes. You made me your cheap noodles, would you like me to make you some of my cheap noodles?”
“It’s after midnight.”
“Fine, I’ll eat the noodles by myself,” spinning on his heels, he walks away from you into the kitchen. It isn’t long until he hears the soft pads of your feet following him. “I told you it was okay.”
“You — did you…I was almost asleep.”
“Yes, yes. I understand. You were almost asleep as you were telling your…boyfriend goodnight. That’s exactly what almost asleep sounds like,” that list bit of his sentence sounds a bit implying. Did he know?
“Did you hear our conversation?” Was it even a conversation? He couldn’t remember. He just heard you telling him you were going to come. Not The Verb, but Lloyd. You are a tease. He didn’t mean to get off on your voice. “How long were you out here?”
“Grab me a pot?” Oh you were obedient, bending over to get a pot, and standing up quickly. Not quick enough. No panties. He pretends to see nothing. You can sleep with no panties. That’s a good habit to get into because he can just slide into your bed, and start fucking you. When you get there of course. Consent is key. And he feels like a bastard for what he did tonight. But that movement you just did was on your own.
“Sorry.”
“For what?” He asks with a devilish grin.
“Nothing,” it wasn’t just nothing. But he wasn’t going to make you feel guilty for the need to show him your cunt still glistening. He’d have your legs drenched. “Do you do anything special with your ramen? Or do you make it as is?”
“There’s some eggs and spring onions in the fridge. Does that answer your question?” He nods his head towards the fridge, trying to figure out what else he could make you do to get a little peek. He’d play oblivious. Let you decide what you are comfortable with. “Mind getting me some bowls from the top shelf?”
Standing on your tippy toes you dance around a moment. The bottom of your ass cheeks make a little appearance, and he steps behind you to reach the bowls himself. Taking too long to cage your body with your own. And when you gasp, pressing your ass into his crotch he bounces back immediately. Dropping the bowls into the floor and they shatter into thousands of pieces.
“Shit,” Lloyd whispers under his breath. And without asking, places his hands on your sides to lift you up onto the counter. “Stay there while I clean this up. I don’t need you stepping on glass.”
He doesn’t notice the odd glances that you give him as he picks up the larger pieces and starts sweeping up the rest. “My mom always uses wet a paper towel to get the tiny pieces up.”
“That’s smart,” he follows your instructions. And stands up straight. You have already gotten more comfortable, and your legs are not so tightly pressed together. He has to bite his tongue in order to not look. But as high up as that shirt is sitting on your thighs, he knows. And you are aware that he knows.
“Not that Lyla can even crawl right now, but the idea of there being these tiny pieces of glass for you to step on when holding her,” his words stop, and he stands in front of you. How did you not realize he was shirtless? Why is his chest so close to your face as he reaches above your head for more bowls? Why does he smell like a wet dream? Push the thoughts away.
“I don’t want you hurting yourself and dropping her in an accident.”
“I won’t drop her.”
“Knock on the cabinets immediately! That is bad luck,” you do as he says, not pegging him as a superstitious man at all. “I had some chance to think about it. I think on Sundays you should have the day off completely unless I’m out of town. Saturdays, is it fair to ask for you to work half a day? Just until around noon?”
“I think that’s fair.”
“And maybe we should not talk about The Verb?”
“The Verb?” What was he even talking about? You notice his eyes flick momentarily to your lap, and you realize how comfortable you had gotten on this counter. Your legs are too far apart. He had to have seen something. Was he disappointed? You didn’t want to disappoint him. You had just started to get to know him. You wanted to prove to him and yourself that you could care for a baby.
“That Chase boy.”
“My boyfriend?” You giggle. Why did he have such an issue with Chase?
“Why is he even your boyfriend?”
“He’s better than a dildo. I mean,” you feel your cheeks heat up with embarrassment, and have to look at the floor. Missing how big Lloyd’s smile spreads across his smug face. Or the way he is stalking towards you like he’s ready to pounce on his prey. “We’ve been together for awhile, but it’s not that serious.”
“Sweetheart, don’t settle for better than a dildo,” he stands right in front of you. Both hands on your knees as he goes to push your legs apart. Inserting himself in between your thighs. The weird feeling in your tummy returns, and you hate having no panties on as slick floods to your core. Throat dry as his finger touches your chin and lifts your face up to look at him. “And when I’m speaking to you, I expect you to look me in the eyes, do you understand?”
You nod your head slowly, but he clicks his tongue, “And I expect you to verbally answer in my home. Little head gestures are easily misinterpreted, okay?”
“Okay,” he raises an eyebrow, wanting you to finish your sentence, but words are impossible, and your brain is mush. Everything is delayed as you feel the heat between you and Lloyd, “I understand.”
“If you need something better than a dildo and more than The Verb just use your words,” what the fuck does that even mean? He steps away from you much quicker than he inserted himself. The air in the room is heavy and stifling, and you wonder if you even knew how to breathe without reminding yourself to inhale and exhale.
“Do you like creamy ramen or brothy?” This bastard is really changing the subject. You can’t even think with the two heartbeats you feel. One inside your chest, while the other is between your thighs and throbbing. Why is your heart beating so fast? Why is your body betraying you?
“I don’t think I’ve had creamy.”
“You want to get me the heavy whipping cream?” He gives you a cheeky smile when you jump off the counter and head towards the fridge.
“Why are you asking me to do all these things?”
“Because you listen so well,” you pause before reaching for the heavy whipping cream, and turn to look at him.
“What is this?” He’s playing a sick game. He had to be. He saw this ‘vulnerable little girl’ that he had to save. You didn’t need saving, you were fine all on your own.
“You’re very well behaved. Your mother did a good job. Until just now you didn’t even question it. Just did as I asked,” what is he getting at? He is talking in riddles, or backwards, or you are just reading too much into whatever this exchange is. Keeping your mouth closed for the rest of the evening.
Keeping your eyes off him as you squirm around uncomfortably in your seat. Is this uncomfortable because of him? Or are you weirded out because you are feeling things because of him. If you look up, you’d see him smiling as he watches the weird inner turmoil going on in your head.
Finishing before you, he stands up to put his bowl in the dishwasher. Walking past you towards his bedroom, he stops. “And Dolly?”
“Yes?” You ask, turning around in your chair.
“When you leave your room make sure you have on panties,” oh. My. God. He knew. He saw. He didn’t say anything until now. “Because next time I won’t force myself to stop my need to lean you over the counter and spank your ass.”
“Okay,” you didn’t know how to respond to that, and you couldn’t believe how your body was internalizing his words. Heat. Fire. Desire. Embarrassment. Lust. How you have immediate visions of Lloyd doing just that, and spreading your cheeks to see if he made you wet. He did. Uncomfortably so.
“Good girl, I’ll see you tomorrow evening,” he needs a cold shower. He needs away from you because his cock has been at full mast since you questioned why he was asking you to gather things for him. You could try to deny it, but he turned you on as much as you turned him on.
And yet here is your employer, and you are just the sweet au pair with daddy issues. No matter what you say. And he supposes he’s the sick bastard that didn’t mind teasing you. Giving you something to think about. Options? Something for the spank bank? He hopes you go to bed wet and frustrated. Wake up to needing to fuck your own fingers as you think about the close proximity he had to you.
He hopes that you are dripping with need for his cock, and his care and protection. And he hopes that a cold shower is enough to get visions of you yipping with every smack to your ass. That you would be the perfect and obedient girl for him. Woman. Girl sounded gross in this context. Thank you, Roman for making sure your daughter had daddy issues. But fuck him for not loving his daughter the way you deserved.
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#with your touch#lloyd hansen#lloyd hansen x reader#lloyd hansen x fem!reader#lloyd hansen x female reader#lloyd hansen x you#lloyd hansen x y/n#lloyd hansen fic#lloyd hansen fics#lloyd hansen fanfiction#lloyd hansen fanfic#daddy issues#au pair au#lloyd hansen x au pair!reader
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try again | j.jh
summary. jaehyun remembers the night he met you, and even after that one night he often thought of you and wished things would have been different, but by a weird twist of fate he gets to see you again, except this time... you're not alone.
or alternatively:
jaehyun gets to try again, for real this time.
pairing. idol!jaehyun x teacher!yn
words. 19.8k-ish
genre. somewhat of a second chance romance? lots of cute things going on, and it wouldn't be a gimmehyuck fic if i didn't have something angsty
warnings. there's not much to warn about tbh? jaehyun not believing in love at first sight but then essentially does, there's a one night stand (nothing explicit), and also a child (gasp i know), alcohol is mentioned as well as pineapple on pizza, a wild blue haired haechan makes an appearance, johnmark being the best, jaehyun is generally unhappy with being an idol at this stage of his life, idk but y'all can thank my friend ruby for this getting finished, she was on my ass about it... happy late birthday jaehyun lmao
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this was completely and utterly unlike himself, jaehyun thought over and over as he laid in your bed listening to you breathe. he wasn’t a one-night stand kind of man, he was too busy to let himself fall into these kind of temptations. he was a man, he told himself, and yeah, he liked sex, but the middle of tour? he shook his head at himself as he stared at the ceiling.
his mouth spoke on his own when he saw you, your beauty catching him entirely off guard. dinner at 6 with johnny was only supposed to be a quick get-out-of-the-hotel-for-a-bit thing, forty-five minutes tops. but the second you walked up and asked if you could start them off with any waters, or if they preferred beer, he was enamored. forty-five minutes turned into double that and johnny could only smile at himself at the very obvious flirtatious exchanges and when you wrote your number on the receipt you had placed on the table with a scribbled note that said ‘i get off at 11, call me if you want :)’, johnny was more than supportive.
“man, just live a little.” johnny had told him in the taxi to the hotel, and jaehyun was still on the fence about it but when it was 10:53 and he still couldn’t get your smiling face out of his head, his fingers moved entirely on their own. you responded to him at 11 exactly, and even though he had just ate and wasn’t hungry, he agreed when you asked if he’d be up to get something to eat with you. twenty minutes later he found himself in your presence again, baseball hat tugged as far down as it would go and a mask tugged slightly down to rest on his chin and he couldn’t help but listen to things about yourself and he realized he wanted to know more and more with each laugh you let out.
he wasn’t a love at first sight kind of man, but he could understand that thought behind it because, damn, you were funny and kind and absolutely beautiful.
“sorry, i’ve been going on too much about myself, haven’t i?” you asked, face turning a little sheepish when you realized he hadn’t said much of a word the last fifteen minutes but you noticed his smile never fell from his face. he shook his head in answer and picked up a fry from the shared pile on the table, “no, i’m enjoying hearing all about you.”
“well, let’s change it up some, tell me about yourself. you from around here?” you asked, copying his movements and munching on a fry yourself.
“mmm,” he thought for a moment. he didn’t want to be secretive, but he wasn’t comfortable turning the conversation into a long winded one about his group and his fame and although he was thankful for all of that, he noticed it had slowly started to wear him down. no, he genuinely was enjoying just being himself with you, not having to be anyone else. “i’m from seoul, and i work… in entertainment.” he finally decided on.
not a lie, not exactly.
“oh, that sounds really exciting! do you get to meet a lot of famous people doing that?” you asked tilting your head slightly as you did so, genuine curiosity on your face.
his smile grew, oh if only you knew. “i have here and there, they’re just people even if they’re famous.”
you nodded in response to that and your lips twisted slightly in a frown, “i always feel a little bad for celebrities in that sense. i can’t imagine worrying about how my next sentence will be dissected and twisted into something else.”
the more you spoke, the more you surprised him. no one really thought about them in that way, usually jumping directly to the misconstruing of his words or actions as something else entirely.
“yeah, i imagine that’s pretty difficult.” he agreed with you knowingly, then asked, “so do you enjoy being a waitress?”
your smile faltered a little, and you sighed, “i mean, yeah. i like meeting new people but i’m only doing it for another semester and then i’ve got my degree. it took me longer than i’d like to admit, since i’m almost twenty-four now but i had to work enough to make the money to pay for my tuition and well, yeah. so i’ll have my bachelors in a few months’ time and then i’ll be done with the restaurant.”
“oh?” jaehyun asked, reaching again for more fries. “what are you getting your degree in?”
“teaching!” you said with a brilliant smile on your face. “i want to teach, but lately i’ve been leaning towards teaching english overseas and i think you were my sign to do just that. i’ve been debating between korea and japan.”
jaehyun laughed a little at that, “well not to be biased but i can vouch for korea. it’s a really beautiful place.”
and the conversation continued like that, asking questions back and forth. you answering him honestly and jaehyun answering you as honestly as he could without turning the conversation into the direction he didn’t want it to go. the food was gone and the conversation was still going but you had invited him to your place which wasn’t that far away and jaehyun thought he’d hesitate to say yes but his answer was so immediate it startled him a bit. the constant back and forth went on even still at your apartment and he felt like he had known you for a long time, much longer than just a few hours at least, he felt at ease and comfortable and it was a feeling he didn’t realize he was missing. when you suddenly kissed him midsentence he froze, his entire face blank as his brain processed what had just happened, unsure how to exactly to proceed next and you blushed brightly at him, your confidence unwavering.
“sorry,” you giggled a little nervously at the way his face was in shock, “i don’t have any expectations of tonight, but i wanted to kiss you at least once. you’re so cute, especially your dimples. i’m sorry if i made you uncomf – mmph!” his lips effectively silencing you in the same manner yours had him.
except he didn’t pull away, and you wrapped your arms around him and the night carried on, each kiss leading into a touch, and then a gasp. you led him into your room and kicked the door shut with your foot, hands frantically removing clothing in a trail to the bed. small giggles were shared between gasping breaths within the breaks of kissing and the gasps slowly transformed into sounds of pleasure and while you fell asleep against him after, jaehyun couldn’t turn his racing mind off.
he didn’t regret anything, he didn’t regret his actions. he didn’t regret you.
he regretted that he couldn’t stay.
and so when he knew you were fully asleep, when your breathing was the deepest, he got up from your bed and slowly replaced his clothes one by one, dragging out the moments he had in your presence. his hat was the last thing he found on the floor and he tugged it on, sighing softly to himself, pulling out his phone to read that it was 5:20 am, and with one last glance over his shoulder he left you there in the bed sound asleep. a deep guilt he couldn’t shake making a home for itself in his chest.
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aug 9
9:33 am you: hey! everything ok?
9:35 am you: wanna go get breakfast? :)
12:42 pm dimples: i’m sorry, i just saw this. i had work things to take care of. how did you sleep?
3:30 pm you: that’s ok! i slept alright :)
3:31 pm you: are you busy tonight? wanna get food?
4:45 pm dimples: if i get off in time, sure. i’ll let you know.
7:02 pm you: you alright?
7:28 pm dimples: i’m sorry, again. work is kicking my ass, how did your day go?
7:32 pm you: it was fine! started working on an essay i had due, you know. the fun stuff, how about you? busy?
7:45 pm dimples: you have no idea haha
7:49 pm you: you can tell me about it if you want? believe it or not, i’m a great listener
read 10:45 pm
aug 13
2:43 pm you: sent attachment
2:43 pm you: saw this and remembered how you
2:43 pm you: sorry, thumb hit send lol. you mentioned you liked this band, and i thought of you
2:44 pm you: hope you’re ok
read 12:01 am
aug 19
11:01 pm you: y’know, i’m not mad at you or anything i did say i had no expectations lol. just kinda hoped this would have been different, you know? it kinda felt different to me…
11:02 pm you: but that’s alright lol i hope you’re ok
delivered
aug 31
7:49 am you: jaehyun
7:50 am you: look, i need you to respond
7:50 am you: please
7:51 am you: i’m freaking out
7:51 am you: idk what to do, and i’m scared
not delivered
7:53 am you: what the fuck??
not delivered
7:55 am you: fuck. you. jaehyun.
not delivered
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five years later.
although the years had passed for jaehyun, it was all so quick that the night with you still felt fresh to him. he often thought of you and how you were, often thought of if you graduated and were teaching. if you got to do everything you had confessed to him that night in the extended lengths of the conversations had.
he often thought if you were here in korea with him like you had planned and he just had no clue.
if you were, you hated him, he was sure.
his manager had caught him checking his phone that night with an unsaved number on it, had sneakily read your messages over his shoulder and absolutely lost it on him. he went on and on about his idol image, his career, his future and repeated ‘what if this got out? what if dispatch found it?’ and jaehyun couldn’t say anything back but ‘okay’. the feeling he had when talking to you, the small feeling of being himself again, smothered in an instant.
when you had sent him a picture of a vinyl record of one of his favorite bands, he wanted so badly to respond to you. he had even typed out a response when he finally was able to read it, but he knew it wouldn’t help anything at all if he did. he really did think it was better to let it lie, and so he turned off his read receipts.
the last message he saw from you, made him gnaw on his bottom lip, and the next day he left the country going back to korea and his number was changed.
he wanted to be different for you, he had barely met you but he knew you, it wasn’t a coincidence to him. but what kind of life would a long-distance relationship be with someone who would be so busy some days or even weeks that he couldn’t respond? he knew you’d always be worried, or hurt when communication was so small. he thought of it a lot. and he was thinking of all those things, when he was sure, he had ultimately decided, that you probably didn’t actually want to be with him.
he would have just… liked it if you had.
maybe if he weren’t famous he would have dated you.
maybe it would have been like one of the cheesy romance movies taeyong liked to watch, maybe he even would have fallen in love.
and maybe… maybe he would have even married you if his daydream let him get that far, if his life would have followed the cliché movie plot, but that was all a what if to him now. something he liked to sit and think about if only just to make sure the guilt never left him.
“jaehyun?” his name being called pulled him out of his memories and his head jerked up to look at who had called him. his manager was staring at him with drawn eyebrows, and at jaehyun’s confused expression he breathed deeply out of his nose.
“what do you think?” this time it was the PR manager asking, the person who had asked him, johnny, and mark to come to the conference room to go over their schedules for the next couple of days.
“about what? sorry, i was…” jaehyun trailed off.
“he thinks it’s a great idea.” mark answered for him, giving jaehyun a concerned look. “he loves kids.”
“okay, then it’s set. the kids are unaware they’re meeting you all, and they probably won’t really realize you’re famous but it will be filmed for content with permission from the schools principal already. It’ll be good for the groups image, everyone loved the last time you guys sat with kids.” and with that the meeting was done, it wasn’t really to ask them if they wanted to participate but to tell them what they would be doing. jaehyun didn’t mind this that much because it was true. he did love kids.
once the managers had left the room, johnny turned in his chair to give jaehyun a scrupulous look.
“dude, why were you spacing out so bad?” mark asked, slouching in his chair as his chin saw in his palm and his elbow rested on the table. to this date, johnny was the only other person who knew about you and his night he had spent with you. johnny nodded at the quick eye contact, understanding immediately.
“dunno, i think i’m just tired. i didn’t sleep much last night.” jaehyun brushed off mark’s question with a shrug and mark sighed at that.
“well, you better get some rest tonight. those kids aren’t going to chill out just because you’re tired.” mark said as he stood, his hands shoved into the pockets of his sweats, shooting one last look at jaehyun before leaving the room.
“you know, it’s been a few years but maybe she’s thinking of you too. why not try reaching out?” johnny whispered to him, and jaehyun gave johnny a not-quite-there smile that was really just a grimace.
“nah, it’s fine. she’s probably changed her number since then, and besides, even if she didn’t she definitely hates me now. i know i would.” johnny frowned then as his friend got up and left the room, the big glass door swinging closed softly behind him.
something had changed in jaehyun that night when he came back, it wasn’t a huge, drastic change but johnny noticed it nonetheless. he wasn’t always distracted by his guilty thoughts of you, but on several occasions jaehyun had gotten drunk with him and started talking about you and everything about you that he knew.
by this point johnny felt he knew you just as well as jaehyun had.
and about sixty percent of those occasions, johnny had to console him and reassure him that you probably didn’t hate him but would probably just be upset at him, and that he was sure you’d forgive jaehyun if he explained the situation.
johnny was never confident in that though. five years is a long time to go on thinking about someone you spent one night with.
and, johnny often thought, five years was a long time to dwell on all the anger left from waking up alone from someone you spent one night with.
and although if it was only supposed to be just one night… even johnny knew it was more than that.
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mark was bouncing on the balls of his feet, his hands contained in his pockets but jaehyun couldn’t help the smile that grew at the younger mans energy. there was always something about children that brought out the kid side of the younger members and that was always contagious and within minutes, jaehyun was smiling just as brightly as mark had been.
they were told to wait until given the signal to come out, as all the kids were now sitting in different circles in the room. the four-year-old class wasn’t very large, and they had come to the SM building to take a tour.
in recent years SM had opened its doors to field trips for younger kids, usually it was elementary ages but after some strings were pulled, they allowed the class going in to kindergarten to be included if they would allow them to be part of the youtube series SM had going on of ‘idols with kids’.
this wasn’t the group’s first event with kids, the group was large at this time and they had rotated out and didn’t have to do it often, but it was their turn and it was a nice break, jaehyun thought.
certainly better than another photoshoot.
johnny tapped jaehyun on the shoulder, the signal had been given and the three men entered the room full of energetic children. there were only about twelve of them total, and jaehyun noticed the teachers stood off to the side, two women leaning against the wall with their masks up and covering their face.
jaehyun paid them very little attention as he went to his assigned table to sit down with the kids. he took his place at the circle table and folded his legs underneath him, sitting as the kids were.
the kids grew quiet at the presence of the adult man at their table, and he noticed his table had two girls and two boys. the little girl that sat closest to him had big bright eyes and her little hands brushed her bangs away from her eyes.
he noticed her little pigtails had little fuzzy clips in them that matched her dress and his heart melted at how adorable she was. she seemed to be the boldest of the group as she was the only one to look him in the eyes.
“hi everyone, my name is jaehyun.” he said kindly, trying to make the kids feel at ease.
“hello, mister.” the cute girl with pigtails said and when she spoke, small dimples formed at the corners of her mouth and he was intrigued at how much they looked like his.
“hello, miss.” jaehyun nodded and replied easily and the little girls smile grew as did her dimples. and then a thought visibly appeared across her face and she turned to her other friends at the table.
“it’s rude to not say hi,” her lips were in a pouty frown as she looked at them. she was a bossy little thing, he noticed but her friends immediately chimed in with quiet hello’s. that seemed to make her happy and she nodded dramatically. jaehyun knew the only thing they had to do while they were here was color with them, and talk to them for the camera’s sake, and so he did just that.
the little girl next to him asked him which page he wanted to color first, and he reached forward to slide a piece of paper with the outline of a bunny holding a carrot and then she asked her friends which ones they wanted. he noticed she chose last and his heart melted even more at how utterly sweet the little exchange was.
“what are your names?” he asked the table as a whole, putting on his gentlest smile, which wasn’t hard for him to find. the little boy to his left spoke up this time, starting to get comfortable with jaehyun’s presence.
“my name in jiwon, and he’s seojun… she’s heeyoung, and,” he said pointing out each person one by one dramatically as he finally landed on the little girl who sat beside him. “her name is yeoruem.”
“oh you all have pretty names,” jaehyun commented and the boys seemed to swell with a sense of pride by being told they had nice names from a stranger. he noticed the kids start talking a little bit, but they mostly focused on their coloring. yeoreum sat beside him, a crayon gripped tightly in her hand and her tongue stuck between her lips and she concentrated on her page, she had chosen a big teddy bear and she was coloring it purple.
she was getting a little frustrated he could tell with how she kept huffing and puffing and finally she put her crayon down and put her cheek in her tiny hand dramatically, and the cute pout made jaehyun chuckle softly.
“what’s the matter, yeoreum?” he cooed at her gently.
“i like to stay in the lines and i messed up.”
“well let’s see if we can fix it, hmm?” and he picked up her crayon and offered it to her. she took it in her hand again and he proceeded to point at a small spot, his arms wrapping around her and helping her hand move just right and she took his direction with a grin. when she finally got it she pushed his hand away.
“thank you mister jaehyun, i want to try and do it now myself.” and jaehyun held up his hands in surrender.
“you’re a very independent little girl, yeoreum.” jaehyun commented to her as he went back to coloring on his bunny, picking up an orange crayon to fill in the carrot.
“thank you!” she beamed, not taking her eyes off of her teddy bear. “my mommy says the same thing.”
“your mommy is a very smart lady,” jaehyun replied and she looked up then. her face twisting in an scowl that was too cute to be remotely threatening considering she was four.
“no,” she argued, greatly offended. “my mommy is the smartest lady. and she’s one of my teachers too, she’s right over there.”
and it was in that moment that several things happened simultaneously.
yeoreum pointed at the wall to one of the women jaehyun had barely taken notice of when he walked in. his eyes looked up in the direction that her tiny hand pointed in and as he looked up, the woman turned her face away from him to say something to the other teacher so he couldn’t see her face but at the same time one of the kids from johnny’s table screamed dramatically.
“miss y/n!” the little boy wailed, and jaehyun felt his heart leap to his throat, and his stomach plummeted as if he were on a rollercoaster while he watched as the same lady who had turned away rush forward to see what the little boy needed, but jaehyun couldn’t even focus on that. he felt his world around him slow to a grinding halt, his eyes solely focused on you. on the small parts of your face he could visibly see due to the mask you wore.
but he was unsure how he had missed you when he walked in. yours was the face that he dreamt of, and he was sure his jaw was dropped. his eyes drifted slightly from your face to johnny whose expression probably matched his own, his eyes flickering between you and jaehyun.
jaehyun felt his mouth go dry in the next second as another realization hit him. he whipped his head to look down at the little girl next to him and she was intently focused on where her mom stood at the other table. jaehyun tried three times to swallow before he was successful.
“yeoreum?” he asked, voice shaking slightly.
she tore her eyes from you and looked up to make eye contact with jaehyun. “yes, mister jaehyun?”
“miss y/n is your mother?” he asked, face searching this little girls who, the more he looked, the more he found himself staring back.
“no, she’s my mommy.” she answered smartly.
“ah, yes. she’s your mommy…” he trailed off, eyes flickering back up to see you standing back with the other woman and you were pointedly avoiding eye contact with him, instead staring at yeoreum who was still looking at him.
“and yeoreum, how – when is your birthday?”
“may first,” she chirped and he dragged his eyes away from you to look down at the little girl and his face drained of all color entirely.
“um… mister jaehyun? you look like you don’t feel so good.” she said worriedly, and he gulped again, trying to calm his nerves. his mental math couldn’t be that wrong, could it? there’s no way, was there? no, those dimples were undeniable evidence.
someone somewhere had pity on him, because right when he felt that he may pass out or throw up or do a combination of both, their manager came out and called the session with the idols to an end, the cameras folding up then and were put away and the other teacher called everyone to come stand with you and her.
yeoreum stood up and patted her dress, and she reached down and pulled on jaehyun’s hand to have him stand up with her.
“c’mon mister jaehyun, i want you to meet my mommy so you can see that she’s the smartest lady in the whole world,” and as jaehyun slowly stood to his feet, yeoreum waved her hand to have him bend down to her level so she could whisper conspiratorially in his ear. “but don’t tell miss jisoo, she may get upset.”
jaehyun could only nod as she pulled him over to the other kids and you, and he braced himself for disaster.
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you had fought tooth and nail with the principal of your center about going to SM. you knew the chances of jaehyun being one of the idols to work with would be slim but you didn’t want to take that chance. however when she had asked you the reason why you were so adamant against going to the entertainment company’s headquarters, you couldn’t very well give her the reason that your child’s clueless father works there. it would open up more questions and you had done well the past five years keeping it under wraps that no one knew who yeoreum’s father was, not even your mother.
you had realized after he had blocked your number of who he was when you did a google search of ‘jaehyun korea entertainment’ to see page after page of his face, and you realized he was a common name in korea. it made a little more sense then as to why he suddenly started ignoring you.
you thought he may have been different based on the hours of conversations you both shared, but since he was a celebrity, you assumed you were just another person on his list of hookups throughout his tour stops.
and so when you saw him walk in with two of his other members, you felt your heart jump. and then when you saw he sat at your daughter’s table your heart immediately sank and you felt your body get hot, the same feeling you felt when you found out you were pregnant.
you stood at the back with your co-teacher, hiding in plain sight. you were thankful that you had made it to the end, the interaction between them going well even if he didn’t know.
he seemed to almost have an instant attachment to her and you couldn’t help the way your heart swooped when he bent around her to help her with her coloring. it was a few moments after that that she noticed yeoreum point her tiny finger in your direction and you almost cursed aloud.
you quickly turned your head to look at jisoo, trying to find any random question to ask her to start a conversation to avoid his eye contact but when you heard one of your students, a little boy named yunho, screaming for you across the room you only allowed yourself three seconds to panic before you crossed the room to see what was the matter.
you briefly made eye contact with the man, you had learned his name was johnny after researching jaehyun’s group, and he looked like a deer caught in the headlights. you ignored him after that, understanding that he must have known about you and that somehow both angered and embarrassed you.
“what’s wrong, yunho?” you asked as you crouched next to the crying boy.
“min-minhee,” he hiccupped, big alligator tears falling down his face. “minhee took my crayon and i was still using it!” and you patted the young boy’s head affectionately.
“minhee…” you started, voice slightly scolding and the other boy mentioned was purposefully looking away from you. “is that true?”
minhee turned his head further away from you and you couldn’t help but laugh slightly, “minhee, you know that isn’t nice.” after a few seconds, and another glance up at johnny who was now looking at the table behind you, eyes wide.
minhee finally turned around and gave yunho back his crayon and apologized after you prompted him to do so. crisis averted, you took a deep breath and stood up, purposefully avoiding the table your daughter sat at but when you reached the wall, you felt his eyes on you but instead you noticed how your daughter stared up at him, eyes already full of adoration.
the cameras were put away and jisoo called everyone’s attention. you were focused on the other children gathering up, doing headcounts one by one until you heard a soft, “mommy?” from behind you.
“what is it, baby?” you asked turning around, expecting to see your daughter but instead came face to face with jaehyun who your daughter had in tow.
“this is mister jaehyun, and i wanted him to meet you so i could show him how sma – show him my teacher.” she fumbled over her sentence and you furrowed your brows at her choice of words.
“hello miss y/n,” jaehyun choked out, and you noticed his face was very pale. you wanted to laugh and tell him that it served him right, but you wanted to pretend that you didn’t know him, even though you clearly did.
“hello,” you greeted, overly formal as if to create distance between you two.
“yeoreum… yeoreum tells me her birthday is in may. is that true?” were the first words to tumble out of his mouth. you noticed jisoo had rounded up the kids and started to lead them out of the room.
“yeoreum, sweetheart, go stand with miss jisoo, okay? i’ll be right there.” you said as you looked down, cupping your little girls cheek sweetly and she smiled up at you.
“okay mommy!” she said, running off to walk with the class who was leaving the room.
you felt the presence of two more people walking up and you glanced to see johnny and another man, mark you thought his name was, walk up to stand awkwardly a few feet away. johnny definitely seemed to know, but mark looked clueless as to why they were there.
“is that true?” jaehyun pressed again, and you turned your full attention to him now, ignoring the other two men in your vicinity.
“yes, her birthday is may first.” you replied, voice a little sharp and you saw jaehyun visibly wince at the tone.
jaehyun didn’t even care that mark was here now, listening in. his mind was racing with so many questions and he just wanted to know the answers to them regardless of who was around.
“that’s nine months…” he trailed off then.
“yes, it is.” the same tone didn’t falter.
“i… i… is she mine?” he finally asked then, heart bracing for the answer but then you laughed and it was a cold laugh, much different from the happy ones he recalled in his dreams, and he recoiled slightly.
“you’re not on the birth certificate,” your lips were flat, turning pale from the pressure of keeping your anger at bay.
“that’s not – no, please, y/n. is she mine?” he pressed, his hands ready to beg you for an answer.
“is she your daughter? yes.” you answered him in an angry whisper. “but she’s not yours, she’s mine.” and jaehyun flinched again at how harsh your words were.
jaehyun was silent for a long moment and you scoffed, turning away from him then to go meet up with your class.
“have you told anyone?” he asked, and he wasn’t sure why he even asked that question because he knew if you had, it would have made headlines. you froze then, and he could have sworn you were visibly shaking. you turned and glared at him, such an angry look he didn’t know it was possible to feel so small from just a single expression.
“no, jaehyun, i haven’t.” you spat, your anger making your skin flush in how hard you tried to control your voice and your temper. “so don’t worry, you can go back to living your golden life without any responsibilities. i won’t be asking you for money, i won’t be coming back here, and i won’t be going to the press. but not for your sake, oh no, i couldn’t give a fuck. only for hers.” you turned and walked away, your hand stilling on the doorknob when you heard him call to you.
“no, wait! y/n that’s – that’s not what i meant, please. can – can i meet her? spend time with her?” you didn’t turn around, your hand on the knob tightening its grip for a moment, you lifted your head to stare at the ceiling and you sighed, the anger draining from you and just leaving you exhausted.
“you just did, and i think that was enough, don’t you? i don’t want you to decide the next morning that she’s not worth your time.”
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the door closed behind you as you left and all three men were stunned into silence at what had transpired. jaehyun had known you’d hate him if you saw him again, he knew that, he really did. he would have never pushed you to spend time with him after the way everything went down but now it was different.
he was a father now, or well, he had been a father the past four years and had no clue but now he was aware and he couldn’t just not try and be one. this had changed his world, how could he go about pretending that this hadn’t happened?
“dude… i am so confused right now. what the actual hell just happened?” mark finally spoke up, eyes darting between the two men standing with him. johnny didn’t look away from jaehyun to answer his question, nothing but extreme concern for his friend who looked like he had his whole world shaken up.
well, johnny thought almost comically, he did.
“i, um…” jaehyun started, eyes still not drifting away from the door you had just left from. “when we were on tours four years ago, um… johnny and i went to dinner, i don’t know if you remember? we had asked you if you wanted to go too, but you were already going with haechan and taeil.” jaehyun finally broke his trance he had on the door and turned to make eye contact with mark, who still sported the look of someone utterly bewildered. mark answered with a nod, not daring to open his mouth so he could listen to the rest of what jaehyun had to say.
“well, we went. just us two. and she was our waitress and she was, she is, so beautiful and she was flirting with me and so when she put her number on our receipt, johnny told me to go for it and… and i did. we talked for hours, and – and one thing led to another, and fuck.” jaehyun breathed out and then let out a humorless laugh at his word choice. he ran his hand through his hair roughly, the newly dyed blonde locks, tugging on them as he did so. “i left. i mean, i couldn’t have actually stayed with her, we had a show in another city and we had to leave and so i left. i tried to keep talking to her but… i stopped.”
mark blew out a hard breath at jaehyun’s explanation. “well, did you let her know? that you had to leave and that’s why?”
jaehyun shook his head, and johnny spoke up for him then. “our manager saw and lost it, he couldn’t reply to her because he was scared since it had been so long and then we left and our manager had his number changed when we got back.”
“did you still have her number though?” mark questioned, eyebrows coming together. jaehyun nodded hesitantly.
“dude, that’s so fucked. you should have explained to her then, she would have understood.” jaehyun hung his head, he was used to johnny consoling him in the assumption that he’d never have to see you again. he wasn’t used to his mistakes being so openly berated.
“poor y/n,” mark said then, turning to look at the door you had left out of. “having to raise a baby on her own like that, i don’t blame her for being as angry as she was. and then for you to ask –.”
“god, mark, yes. i know. i know i fucked up. but i have a kid… i have a daughter. i don’t want to be one of those dads, i don’t…” he trailed off, the way he felt sick dissipating, slowly being replaced with the dread of having his daughter grow up and have to tell people her dad was just absent when he knew about her now.
“then don’t.” johnny’s reply was simple. both jaehyun and mark turned to look at him. johnny shrugged as if it were easy.
“but she doesn’t –.” jaehyun went to say but johnny shook his head, the look he gave him shutting him up instantly.
“then don’t, jaehyun. you’re an adult. you made a mistake but it’s not eighteen years too late to try and fix it, just five. if chen can do this and end up just fine, you have just the same amount of chance that he does. you don’t wanna be a deadbeat dad? then don’t. easy as that. y/n isn’t going to like it at first but, she’ll come around if. you. make. an. effort.” mark was smiling at johnny’s answer, nodding along as he spoke and jaehyun stared open mouthed at him.
“you think it’ll work?”
“it doesn’t hurt to try,” mark chimed in. “plus, i saw the way she was watching you earlier, i kinda thought for a second she was going to be one of those weird stalkers but this makes so much more sense now.”
“how can i do this though? i don’t have her number or anything,” jaehyun asked, and he wanted so badly to get to know yeoreum, and to get to know you again. he wanted to see if things were that different, or if it was the years of anger building up. he couldn’t blame you at all for the things you said and for the way you reacted. he can imagine he’d do the same.
“am i gonna have to do everything myself?” johnny joked and jaehyun gave him a confused look.
“she works at the school that was just here. we have the principals contact information. therefore, we have her information. and if nothing else, we know where she works. you show up, you make a genuine effort, and you keep making an effort until she knows you’re serious. and you keep trying because that’s your daughter. you literally can’t deny her, she looks exactly like you.” jaehyun nodded, absorbing all the information that johnny had readily available in his brain. he hoped it was because he was an outsider looking in in this situation and not that jaehyun was just that dumb. maybe it was a bit of both.
“guys? come on, we have another schedule to meet in forty-five minutes,” their manager called, his head momentarily visible from the doorway. the three men made their way to exit, jaehyun’s mind reeling with what he was going to do and how he was going to do.
he had a daughter.
he was a father.
that thought alone was enough to make a grin slowly grow on his face.
“also,” mark spoke up suddenly, turning around to look at his friends. “do i need to have a talk with everyone about the importance of condoms?”
johnny snorted out a laugh, and jaehyun groaned loudly.
“yeah… i think i’m gonna at least text the dreamies. maybe ‘wrap it before you tap it’ or something like that. god, can you imagine jisung with a child?” mark’s face looked horrified, but his joke effectively broke the tense feeling jaehyun had held for the past twenty minutes and johnny laughed, clapping mark on the shoulder as he and jaehyun exited the door.
“jisung is an adult, mark. he’s a grown ass man. they don’t need ‘the talk’.”
“yes they do, they can be forty and they’re still going to be children to me!” mark yelled as he followed them out.
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jaehyun couldn’t remember the last time he had butterflies this bad since maybe his debut. his heart hadn’t stopped racing since johnny handed him a slip of paper discreetly at practice later that night, and when jaehyun unfolded the paper he saw an address and a phone number scrawled in small letters.
“maybe go to her work, instead of calling first.” johnny had whispered to him rather conspicuously in the far corner of the room.
“wouldn’t it be better to give her a heads up though? i don’t want to ruin this before i even really get the chance to get to know yeoreum.” jaehyun said, the desperation for this to work out evident on his face. he wasn’t sure when he had ever wanted something so badly, but his thoughts had been consumed by this little girl that he had no idea existed until twelve hours ago.
“sure, it might seem a little creepy but this way she can physically see you’re serious and won’t block you immediately out of spite,” johnny shrugged at his friend. “i know i'd block you.”
jaehyun gave him a deadpan look, “that’s very comforting, thanks.”
a sudden pair of arms throwing themselves around jaehyun’s shoulders made his eyes grow wide but seeing johnny unconcerned made him relax a little.
“so who is blocking jaehyun hyung immediately?” haechan asked from over jaehyun’s shoulder.
jaehyun fished for a response, trying to think of an answer and johnny beat him to it with the most basic of answers.
“your mom.” johnny said, a wide grin growing on his face at the offended look on haechan’s face that jaehyun couldn’t see.
“you better not be texting my mom!” haechan argued, voice rising an octave directly in jaehyun’s ear making the man wince sharply. “she’s married and i don’t want a step-dad this late in my life.”
johnny pushed away from the wall and jaehyun was thankful for johnny’s distraction, because as he walked away haechan moved to follow him, arguing with the taller man even if it started out as a joke.
this gave jaehyun the time to stare down at the folded piece of paper that had been crumpled in his hand, he memorized the number on it like the paper would disintegrate if he didn’t and as he moved on to the address he attempted to formulate a plan.
the plan may have been half-assed in hindsight, jaehyun realized as he stood out in front of the pre-school you worked at, staying out of sight of any passerby who may recognize him. he was sure he wouldn’t be noticed that easily as his hood was up, mask secured over his nose but he was so nervous of someone saying something to ruin his one shot at getting you to listen to him.
he distracted himself with scrolling through his phone, flipping between different social medias while he waited, and his heart skipped a beat when he heard your voice calling a goodbye to your coworkers as you exited the building.
“mommy, can we go get some ice cream? i got a green smiley on my report today from miss jisoo, you know i was good today!” he heard yeoreum ask cutely, and you turned the corner to walk in his direction and he watched as you looked down at her. you held her hand and your smile was so gentle he couldn’t help but get lost in it for a moment.
you were going to respond but you noticed his presence at that moment, looking up and staring harshly at him, he could see you bristle. you didn’t immediately recognize him, jaehyun noticed with the way you tugged yeoreum to stand behind you and jaehyun raised his hands in surrender, tugging his mask down so you could see his face and you released a breath, relaxing instantly.
“mister jaehyun!” yeoreum cheered from behind you, bouncing forward with her hands holding on to the straps of her little yellow backpack. jaehyun crouched to be level with her, his elbows resting on his knees and his dimpled smile was an exact replica of hers.
“hi yeoreum, i heard you say you were good today in school. if your mommy is okay with it, do you think i get you that ice cream you wanted?” jaehyun asked the little girl, but his eyes were looking up at you and your mouth was pressed in a firm line. yeoreum whirled on the spot to look up at you.
“oh please, mommy? mister jaehyun will pay for it so it’s free!” yeoreum pleaded, adding information that wasn’t exactly given yet and jaehyun couldn’t help but laugh at that detail. you clearly debated on it for a moment, but the hopeful look on your daughters face was already giving you an answer.
“sure, sweetie.” you said softly, eyes cutting up to glance at jaehyun, trying to figure out what he was getting at. yeoreum pulled you by the hand, and then she boldly grabbed jaehyun’s hand as well, leading the way to the convenience store you often made stops to on the way home from school.
you didn’t say a word as you walked, jaehyun keeping a conversation going with yeoreum, asking her about the things in school she liked and it went on like that for a few minutes until you entered the store and you greeted the elderly woman who ran it politely. yeoreum darted to the ice cream section and you finally had a moment without her present.
“what are you trying to do here, jaehyun?” you asked coldly, and his smile never wavered, his mood too high to allow it to come down.
“i’m trying to get to know my daughter that i didn’t know existed until yesterday.” he answered you, his voice hushed as to keep the store owner from eavesdropping, but you didn’t detect any obvious lies in his statement.
“i told you –.” you started, and he cut you off.
“i know what you said, believe me. i heard you loud and clear, but please y/n,” and your eyes widened at the sincerity in his voice, he was seconds away from begging dramatically. “please just give me one chance. i want to be in her life, i want to be there for her.”
yeoreum skipped over, holding three ice cream bars in her arms.
“look mommy, i got your favorite. and mister jaehyun, i got you my favorite. you’ll like it because it’s the best!” she said with such confidence that jaehyun chuckled at her as she walked right up to the counter.
“well you’re in luck because that just so happens to be my favorite, too.” jaehyun offered and the girl beamed at him.
“mommy likes this flavor,” she pointed to the only one that was different as the elderly woman scanned the three items. she motioned for him to come to her level, and when he bent down she cupped her hands cutely to whisper in jaehyun’s ear. “and don’t tell her but it’s really yucky.”
the more time jaehyun spent around this little girl the more he felt himself getting wrapped around her finger. he brought a finger to his lips conspiratorially and he turned to make eye contact with you and your eyebrows raised.
“hey, what’s with the secrets?” you frowned in confusion, head tilting slightly and at the motion jaehyun felt his heart skip a beat. he recalled the same exact motion five years ago, and he had to swallow hard to pull himself out of the memory.
“oh, nothing. yeoreum just told me a funny joke.” he answered, giving yeoreum a wink and she giggled at the secret that they now had, her hand coming up to cover her mouth as she laughed.
“hmmm,” you responded, accepting the ice cream bars and thanking the woman as you exited. the park was only a short distance away and that’s where you headed, sitting down on a bench as you opened yeoreum’s ice cream and she dove in immediately.
you allowed them to talk easily, and you felt your resolve slowly chipping away with every smile they shared with each other. you recalled one of the many conversations you had had with friends, one most recently being your coworker and friend jisoo. she had suggested for the umpteenth time that you should reach out to the father and give him the option to be in yeoreum’s life.
“i don’t want him to get tired of her, it would be devastating for her, and me too.” you had argued then and jisoo’s look was unamused.
“you haven’t even given him the chance, you have no clue if he’d even do that. you can’t make that assumption, time changes people.”
you were realizing she was right as you watched her giggle over him dripping ice cream on his shoes, yeoreum commenting how it’s not that hard to not be messy and jaehyun laughed at her disappointed sigh.
you had made up your mind by then, the ice cream finished and you noticed the time was getting a little late, knowing you’d have to get her ready for bed.
“come on, ‘reum. we gotta get ready for bed soon.” you said softly, interrupting their conversation and yeoreum nodded, hopping off of the bench she sat on with jaehyun. she walked over to stand beside you but she turned to jaehyun.
“mister jaehyun, will i see you again?” she asked and her voice was so hopeful that jaehyun looked to you for an answer.
“one chance,” you mouthed to him seriously, holding up one finger to emphasize your point over yeoreum’s head and jaehyun’s eyes shone with relief as he made eye contact with yeoreum.
“i’d love to, i’ll come see you anytime.” jaehyun nodded and yeoreum clapped excitedly, turning to look at you as she did so and you couldn’t help the answering smile that crossed your face. you took her small hand in yours and you began to walk in the direction of your home and she paused, turning around and waving enthusiastically goodbye to jaehyun who was still seated on the wooden park bench.
“see you soon, mister jaehyun!” she called and then she was pulling you away; jaehyun watching you both leave and he felt at peace knowing this plan went so much better than he could have ever hoped it would.
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you had just put yeoruem to sleep in her little princess bed, she had talked nonstop the entire way home, all through dinner, and then during her bath until you finally got her to sleep, about mister jaehyun.
the idea of her getting to know him brought on two strong emotions and they teetered back and forth in your mind, an eerily well-balanced scale.
on one hand, you were excited for her to get to know her father, she deserved to have both parents who loved her.
on the other hand, you were terrified of how this would play out fully. would he leave once people found out? would he pretend she didn’t exist?
your thoughts ran in circles over and over, and you didn’t get anywhere productive. the only thing you had settled on was that until you knew for sure where this would go, you would make sure jaehyun wouldn’t mention a word of being her dad.
you didn’t want to have to pick up the pieces of her small heart if he shattered it.
your phone dinged and it pulled you out of your thoughts, you paused the show you had barely been paying attention to so you could focus.
9:31 pm unknown: hello… do you have plans tomorrow?
9:32 pm you: depends on who’s asking...?
9:33 pm unknown: oh, yeah my bad. this is jaehyun, johnny got me your number from your boss
9:34 pm you: ok… that’s not weird at all… but no. no plans besides work and yeoruem. why?
9:35 pm he who must not be named 💀: how do you feel about coming over? i can cook for you both, or maybe order pizza. whatever yeoreum wants to eat haha
9:37 pm you: she’s not picky, but i guess i won’t mind. will your members mind?
9:38 pm he who must not be named 💀: ah, right. well, see i’m telling them tomorrow so they won’t really have a choice.
9:40 pm you: … don’t make this weird for us, jaehyun.
9:42 pm he who must not be named 💀: i’m not! i won’t, i’ll send someone for you tomorrow at 6?
9:47 pm you: we can get there, just give me the address and i’ll see you then
9:48 pm he who must not be named 💀: [current location]
you audibly sighed, staring at the phone showing the address, you clicked it to see that he didn’t live too far from you and you just shook your head, you were going to leave it at that, but your thought from earlier hit you again and you typed a response.
9:55 pm you: i have a request for you
10:01 pm he who must not be named 💀: ask
10:02 pm you: i’m not going to keep you from getting to know her, because it makes her happy and she deserves that. but i don’t want you to mention anything to her about you being her dad
10:05 pm he who must not be named 💀: and that’s because…?
10:06 pm you: i just wanna be sure. i’d rather you be some cool man she spent time with if you decide differently
10:07 pm he who must not be named 💀: okay and when you see that i’m not gonna ghost my own daughter, is there a statute of limitations on this or what?
10:08 pm you: i’ll let you know
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jaehyun paced back and forth in the living room, he hadn’t heard from you since you assured him you’d be coming by at 6 like agreed. he had went a little overboard on the pizza, considering there were now five different boxes on the counter and he may have went on a shopping spree at a small children’s toy store.
now all eight of his members sat in different spots in the too large living room as he walked back and forth, stopping to check on his phone and then once he saw there wasn’t a notification from you, he went back to his path he had made.
“you’re gonna wear a hole through the floor,” johnny deadpanned and jaehyun ignored him.
“hyung?” it was haechan this time trying to get jaehyun to stop moving and jaehyun did, looking up to see what the youngest wanted.
“this isn’t your first time meeting her, right?” haechan seemed genuinely confused.
“no, this is the second, technically third time now.” he answered, forgetting about his phone in his pocket for a moment.
“okay, then why are you freaking out?” haechan asked, resting his chin in his palm.
“well…” jaehyun was at a brief loss for words. “y/n is unsure about me being around her already, so i guess i’m worried she’s going to… stop.”
“stop what?” taeyong asked from the other side of the room and jaehyun turned on the spot to face him.
“stop letting me see her, stop responding to me, just, stop altogether.” jaehyun looked crestfallen as he waved his hands around but a snort from his left made him glare at yuta.
“what? like you did to her?” yuta smirked at the stressed man, and jaehyun threw his arms up, throwing his head back as he stared at the ceiling for a long moment.
he hadn’t expected this kind of reaction at all when he called a group meeting in the living room hours earlier; he had told mark and johnny he planned to tell everyone because he had wanted you and yeoreum to come to the house and they had only nodded and helped him gather everyone. mark and johnny purposely sat on the couch in the corner of the room so they could watch it all unfold.
jaehyun had started the whole thing by clearing his throat three times before he even opened his mouth.
“i-,” he began but yuta narrowed his eyes at him and twisted his lips for a second.
“you got some girl pregnant, didn’t you?” his question was so blunt it took everyone off guard, mark almost falling out of his seat on the couch entirely. haechan, who sat on the arm of yuta’s chair, shoved his shoulder roughly. jaehyun, however, was stunned into silence, mouth agape and yuta laughed at his reaction.
“jaehyun, he’s joking. now why did you call us all here?” taeyong said, shooting a stern look at yuta before turning his full attention to the man who stood in the center of the room. keeping the peace like he always did, but jaehyun was so much more nervous now after yuta’s comment, regardless of how correct it was.
“okay, so,” jaehyun began and went through the entire story again. something he had kept to himself all these years, and he was finally letting everyone in on his tiny, but impactful, moment of freedom he had with you.
“and so when we filmed our content for the youtube segment, the one with kids, you know?” and when everyone nodded, all but three mouths were hanging in stunned silence. “this little girl was at my table, and she was adorable and smart and highly independent but like, some kids are like that. until she pointed out her mother to me, and –.”
jungwoo gasped dramatically, leaning so far forward in his chair as he listened to jaehyun that he was practically on the floor. “no fucking way!”
“yes, way.” mark answered for him, and jaehyun continued.
“y/n, yeah. y/n was her mother, and yeoreum was born exactly nine months after, and yeah. i… i have a daughter that i had no clue existed but i want to be her dad, i haven’t wanted something this bad since we debuted, and… yeah.”
“okay… okay…” taeyong repeated, seemingly in shock as he processed everything that was just said.
“okay?” jaehyun asked, wanting someone to say something.
“okay.” taeyong replied, making eye contact with him. “well, we’re not going to let you be a shitty father.”
“anymore.” haechan said under his breath and yuta snickered with him.
“i had no clue!” jaehyun argued in defense of himself.
“how do you even know she’s actually yours?” taeil asked, his posture was relaxed in his chair, recovering from the shock of the news more quickly than the others had.
“she -.” he started but doyoung butted in then.
“how do you know she’s not using you as a way to get money? she could have slept with someone else.” doyoung seemed even less convinced than taeil was.
“oh no, wait til you see her,” mark said from his spot in the room. “he can’t deny her even if he tried.”
“what? i won’t believe it until i see the test results.” doyoung said, and taeil nodded.
“she hasn’t asked me for anything,” jaehyun argued, feeling a little defensive over you then.
“yet.” taeil murmured, and johnny chose then to speak up.
“you weren’t there in the room, neither of you. she didn’t want anything to do with jaehyun, and she very, very clearly stated that she didn’t even want him around her.”
“and she asked me to refrain from even mentioning that i was her dad.” jaehyun tacked on, and taeil didn’t seem convinced nor did doyoung. silence stretched on for a moment.
“so when do we get to meet yeoreum?” haechan asked then, and jaehyun checked his watch.
“in about three hours,” he replied and everyone jumped as if they had been startled.
“what?!” came at him from all directions of the room.
“nothing in here is childproof!” taeyong exclaimed, jumping to his feet.
“she’s five, not two, she’s not going to go stick her finger in light sockets,” mark chuckled and taeyong relaxed slightly.
“she’s four, but yeah, same thing applies,” johnny corrected him and then silence fell over the room again.
“i will say, i can’t blame y/n,” yuta spoke up then, his eyes trained on the floor for a long moment. “if i were her, i wouldn’t have even given you the option. she’s a lot more forgiving than i would be if you knocked me up, ghosted me and then suddenly by a coincidence showed up again.”
“well that’s because you’re a scorpio,” jungwoo said. “and it feels kinda like fate to me.”
“that’s exactly what i said!” mark laughed, pointing at jungwoo animatedly.
and the conversation carried on like that up until he started pacing, jaehyun had been grateful that they all, well almost all, took it in stride and were supportive. but the jabs from yuta were making him even more anxious, and no matter how many times taeyong glared at yuta and told him to shut up, he couldn’t relax.
and then his phone buzzed in his hand.
6:15 pm pizza hut: um, sorry we’re a bit late, the train was delayed but uh… security guy won’t let us in
“shit,” jaehyun whispered, and he was halfway towards the door when your next text came through.
6:16 pm pizza hut: and it’s raining, so we can go home it’s not a big deal
his panic he felt while pacing came back full force and taeyong called to him.
“what’s going on?”
“security guard won’t let her in,” jaehyun rambled quickly.
“that’s all?” he replied, and taeyong pulled out his phone, pressed a few buttons on the screen and had his phone to his ear in seconds.
“hi, mr. choi? yes, can you please escort our guests to the elevators. yes, we were expecting her. no, don’t leave them out in the rain any longer. yes… thank you. have a goodnight.”
taeyong hung up the phone, and gestured to the door, “she’s in the elevator on their way up.”
jaehyun exhaled deeply, for the first time since he woke up that morning. and while he could breathe easily, the entire room held their breath at the sound of a gentle knock against the door.
jaehyun all but lunged at the door and opened it wide. the other eight men in the living room didn’t move a muscle.
“mister jaehyun!” yeoreum squealed excitedly when she saw him filling the entrance and their smiles were exact replicas of each other and jaehyun gestured you both inside.
“yeoreum, shoes baby.” you said softly, and the members had yet to see any faces, but smiles broke out on their faces as they heard a quick, “right! sorry mommy!”
jaehyun led you both out of the foyer and into the living room and you froze when you saw eight men staring at you both when you entered the room. you had prepared for this, expecting it to be awkward but being this… intense wasn’t exactly how you pictured it.
yeoreum stepped in between you and jaehyun and you looked down to see her bow to the room.
“hello, my name is yeoreum and i’m four years old.” and you peeked up to see the intense stares break out into wide grins.
yeoreum stood up straight and then tugged on your pants.
“mommy, you said it’s rude to not introduce yourself to people who you don’t know.” she said it so seriously, but you and several others in the room chuckled at her respect for manners. at least she paid attention to you when you spoke.
you didn’t bow as yeoreum had, simply dipping your head as you introduced yourself.
“happy?” you said to yeoreum, poking her in the nose and she giggled in response. you heard faint gasps from deeper in the room but you ignored it as your daughter stared into the room and the men must have realized that her comment applied to them as well.
the first one to cross the room was a face you faintly recognized. he knelt down to be on her level and his smile was gentle.
“hi yeoreum, i’m mister jaehyun’s friend. my name is taeil.” and yeoreum nodded, and she smiled at every one who introduced themselves to her and you. she recognized johnny and even gave mark a high five. the last one was haechan, and he was the most energetic of all to meet her.
“hi!” he chirped to her, and she parroted back to him the same exact way, and he continued, his voice filled with a joking kind of pride. “my name is haechan, and i’m the coolest one here.”
“is that why your hair is blue?” yeoreum asked, tilting her head to the side cutely.
“yep, only the coolest have blue hair.” he replied, shaking his head playfully and yeoreum’s laugh filled the room again.
“also, do you wanna see all the cool stuff mister jaehyun got you?” haechan asked, and finally gestured to the couch that held different plushies and toys that the older lady at the shop had suggested for kids her age. yeoreum stared at all the toys then turned around to stare up at jaehyun.
“all of that is mine?” and even you were in shock and the sheer amount of toys piled on the couch.
“yep, all yours.” jaehyun replied, crouching down to be on the same level as yeoreum and haechan.
“but that’s… so much.” she whispered loudly, peeking again at all the toys.
“if you don’t like them all that’s okay, i just wanted to get you something,” his smile was gentle and reassuring. she looked at you for permission and when you nodded at her, she went to the couch and looked at all the plushies. she looked at them, and then at everyone in the room, then back at the toys staring intently.
and one by one, she pulled a different stuffed animal from the pile and handed it to each man in the room. she started by giving haechan a blue teddy bear, and continued on until every grown man was holding a small soft plushie, and she beamed with happiness.
you knew they couldn’t say no and jaehyun could see their wariness melting with each toy she gave. and even though he knew he probably had no right to feel it, he felt a sense of pride in her generosity and he knew she could have only learned that from you. he was the last one to receive a toy and it was a fluffy orange cat.
“thank you, yeoreum. that’s very sweet of you.” he told her sincerely and she blinked at him as if it weren’t something out of the ordinary.
“there’s a lot to share,” she replied and then she remembered something and it lit up her entire face, her voice raising in her excitement. “mommy said you got pizza!”
“yep,” he answered her question that wasn’t a question. “i didn’t know which kind you liked so you have a lot of choices.”
yeoreum picked the same pizza to eat that jaehyun had, which didn’t go unnoticed by everyone in the room as he was the only one to actually like pineapple on pizza. she had made herself at home easily, not missing a beat to pull half of the men into the living room to play with her and the toys jaehyun had gotten for her.
you had been there for a total of thirty minutes before you had been made to feel somewhat welcome. you enjoyed watching the members spend time with yeoreum, as she didn’t have many men in her life to really associate with, and the boys in her class didn’t really count.
you had to bite back a smile at the conversation you had overhead moments before.
“yeoreum is a pretty name, it’s unique too.” mark said, sitting cross-legged where she had instructed him to sit.
“thank you, mommy said she did it so it would be easy because my english name is summer.” yeoreum replied somewhat distractedly in english, causing all eyes to blink slowly at the sudden change in language.
“but she was born in may?” jaehyun looked at you, and you shrugged.
“i was on drugs and in pain, i at least had the right idea.” which caused a few laughs to echo around the room.
after that, you seemed to be fairly content with just observing. you leaned against the kitchen counter, chewing slowly on a piece of pizza as you watched her try to win a tickle fight with mark and succeeding with the way his laughter didn’t come out as forced.
you didn’t speak much with the other members, mostly enjoying being a presence in the room, that is until you felt a body move close to your side and you turned to face the new person, remembering his name was doyoung. when he didn’t say anything to you, you turned away and went back to watching how the tickle fight was absolutely being lost by mark then.
“i have reservations about this,” doyoung said to you then, his voice hardly above a whisper.
you turned again to face him but he looked forward, eyes trained on the guys sitting around enjoying the little girls antics. realizing he wasn’t going to face you for this conversation you went back to your previous position, this time bringing the pizza to your mouth again.
“and?” you asked him, voice matching his tone and doyoung shifted forward to rest his forearms against the counter. he waited until your mouth was full of pizza before he spoke again.
“and jaehyun’s so excited about this, he went on and on about it and he doesn’t even know if she’s actually his.” doyoung’s blunt words made you defensive, even though you had expected something like this, it still made you react, but doyoung continued before you could swallow.
“i think he needs to get a dna test before he gets too attached.” doyoung said, finally turning to face you and you narrowed your eyes at him as he did so.
“what? you think i’m lying?” you said through gritted teeth, but doyoung’s stance didn’t change.
“i’m not going to judge you, i don’t know anything about you. i’m just trying to protect one of my best friends. especially if you decide to rip this whole ‘being a father’ thing out from under him.”
“exactly, you don’t know anything about me.” you said shortly, your temper’s fuse quickly reaching its end. you pushed yourself away from the counter then before you continued. “and there’s nothing to protect him from, i don’t want anything from him. he tracked me down after i told him to leave me alone. he asked to see her, not me. we will be just as we were before he made his grand appearance, should he decide the father life isn’t for him.”
doyoung searched your face while you spoke, but you abruptly changed the conversation when you asked him where the bathroom was. doyoung gestured down the hall and watched as you left, when the shadows in the hall swallowed you he turned his attention back to watch the scene unfold.
haechan and mark were getting to be children again as they played some sort of mock game of house with yeoreum, using the plushies she had gifted them.
jaehyun was sitting next to her, his back against the couch as she made him in charge of holding the rest of the plushies, doyoung heard her mention that he was the house and so he had to be really, really still.
“where’s your dad?” haechan asked, his voice exaggeratingly deep for his character his bear was playing.
“i don’t have one,” yeoreum said, and she moved her plushie away from haechan’s but every man in the room froze. doyoung’s eyes darted to jaehyun’s face to judge his face, but he couldn’t quite read it.
“wh-what do you mean, yeo?” mark asked using his little lion to carry on the game for her.
“mommy said daddy is a really busy man,” she said matter-of-factly, she didn’t notice how all the eyes in the room were trained on her, and how the air seemed to still in preparation for her answer. “she said he’s a busy business man who flies all over the world and she said that a lot of daddies and mommies do that and that it’s okay!”
she was still happy as she spoke, still involved in her game of house she had roped them into playing with her.
“it really is okay,” mark said softly, forgetting his role for a moment.
“yep! it’s super okay because my mommy is really strong and she got so strong so she could take care of me all by herself.” yeoreum’s tiny body puffed up in all the pride a four year old could muster.
“but don’t you miss your dad?” haechan’s bear asked yeoreum’s little white fluffy bear.
“well yeah, all the other kids dads come and pick them up from school but mommy says that just because my daddy has a lot of stuff he has to do first, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love me.” and then, for the first time, yeoreum’s voice became a bit quieter. “i don’t know my daddy, but i hope mommy’s right.”
doyoung’s eyes had danced back and forth between her and jaehyun, noticing the more she spoke, the more jaehyun’s face seemed to fall and it wasn’t long before doyoung though he saw the man tearing up.
“of course your mommy’s right, ‘reum,” jaehyun said softly behind her. she twisted around in her spot on the floor, looking up at him and she tilted her head at him when she saw his tears spill over, confused on why he was so sad. she shuffled forward to get closer to him and she frowned, bringing her arms to wrap around his neck tightly and jaehyun felt the tears hit him harder and he didn’t even care that everyone else in the room was witnessing this. his arms wrapped tightly around her little body, and he used his palm to try and wipe away some of the tears from his cheek.
“mommy said it’s okay to cry, and that hugs are a good bandaid,” yeoreum said, voice taking a knowing tone.
jaehyun nodded against her head, his eyes drifting to the hallway where he could see you standing there. your expression was unreadable to him, but your lips were pursed tightly.
“your mommy is right,” he repeated again, pulling her small hands away from his face then. “about the hugs and that your daddy was really busy but he definitely loves you.”
“do you know him?” she asked, pulling away from his neck to look at him earnestly, and jaehyun’s eyes crinkled at the edges, pulling away from your form in the hallway to look at his daughter again.
“i do, yeah,” jaheyun answered, “and he missed you so much.”
“can you tell him i miss him too? can you tell him that he can come pick me up from school?” she said excitedly and you chose that moment to interrupt. you couldn’t be sure where the rest of the conversation was going, you didn’t know if jaehyun would keep his word about not saying he was her dad and you could see her getting her hopes up too high, and you knew you had to be the bad guy.
“yeoruem, baby. it’s time we go home now, we have school in the morning.” you called softly, walking over to your little girl and she pouted up at you, but she didn’t argue, she just slowly got to her feet, hugging her teddy bear tightly to her chest.
“say thank you, they were very nice to play with you,” you nudged her softly and she did as she was told, genuinely happy to have been able to play with her new friends. you both started walking to the door and she turned suddenly, running to hug jaehyun once more before she left.
you saw she had whispered something to him as she pulled away and you saw jaehyun break out into a smile again.
“i will,” he said to her and with a happy nod yeoreum was back with you again.
with yeoreum’s shoes finally on, you both exited the door and were halfway to the elevator when you heard a door close and footsteps thumping towards you. you were both surprised and… not at all surprised to see jaehyun behind you, a new gleam in his eye as he tugged on his hood and put a mask into place over his nose.
“i would feel more comfortable if i took you home since it’s late.” he said nonchalantly. “i can drive us, if you want.”
“i don’t have a car seat for yeoreum,” you replied and jaehyun shrugged easily. “walking you home it is then.”
you were going to protest but yeoreum had already put her stuffed animal in your hand before grabbing your other one and one of jaehyun’s, tugging you both towards the elevator.
she had started chatting away about something you couldn’t even pay attention to, too entirely focused on the way jaehyun’s hand enveloped hers, your eyes trailing from his hand to his face and you weren’t sure what it was about it. maybe it was all the moments pulled together, primarily the past hour alone, but you felt an unmistakable skip of your heartbeat at the way he smiled down at your excited little girl.
you were too busy gazing up at jaehyun to even noticed the eight heads poking out of the doorway almost comically as they watched you three enter the elevator, being led by a headstrong four year old.
“they make a cute little family,” jungwoo mentioned, only pulling his head inside once he heard the elevator doors close; the members immediately talking animatedly about the new niece they seemed to automatically claim as their own.
no one noticed doyoung walking to his room, the tiny cup that yeoreum had used in his hand.
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it took all of three minutes into the walk home for yeoreum to yawn loudly and rub her eyes sleepily.
“did you get tired from playing with everyone?” you asked her and she nodded, all the cheerful excitement ebbing away from her slowly. you went to pick her up to carry her the rest of the way but jaehyun stopped you, eyes asking permission before he made a move and after a brief hesitation, you nodded to him with a smile.
“i got you, ‘reum, come here,” he said soothingly, picking her up and holding her close. she instantly laid her head down on his shoulder and you snorted at how quickly she closed her eyes. you cooed at how sweet she was, and jaehyun visibly glowed at how she seemed to relax with him instantly.
“you know you don’t have to do all of this,” you said to him after a few moments of yeoreum’s slow breathing. and jaehyun sighed deeply.
“look i know you think i’m this really shitty person who just ditched you, and i know that that’s how you must have felt but it wasn’t my intention. my manager saw our messages, you know. and even though I was still an adult then, we didn’t have nearly as much freedom as we do now. he yelled at me for an hour about being reckless with my career and all that. even though it doesn’t change anything, i didn’t do any of it on purpose or maliciously. and i’m sorry you had to do this alone.” he said, looking down at you the entire time he had been talking, wanting to see your face through his shortened explanation.
“it was really hard, at first, and i’ve been angry for awhile.” you said, voice soft and vulnerable after you thought a moment before deciding to give him honesty. “i had no clue what to tell any of my friends, and when i googled you i almost threw up, but i think that was from the pregnancy and not the news of you being famous. it made sense then to me what all had happened, but i couldn’t tell my parents the truth and so i had to say i didn’t know who the dad was. mortifying, really. my parents still haven’t spoken to me since then. and i love yeoreum more than anything, but i really… i think i hated you this whole time.” you don’t make eye contact as you confess to him a snippet of what had happened, a glimpse into how you felt.
jaehyun was stunned at all he had learned about you, he knew you probably had hated him, and he was right on that. he was horrified to learn that you really, truly had been alone through all of this. he didn’t know why but he had assumed, since he had learned of this at least, you would have had your parents to help support you, and it made his stomach turn knowing it was the opposite.
“but i don’t hate you now,” you admitted softly, looking ahead at the crosswalk sign, waiting for it to give you the okay to cross.
“oh? one day was all it took?” jaehyun asked a bit hopefully with a playful smile, his heart leaping in his chest at the statement, and he couldn’t quite place his finger on why it made him so excited to hear those words. you didn’t respond right away only rolling your eyes, and pulling a set of keys from your pocket and jaehyun realized you must be close to your place.
“but don’t get too excited, the statute has only been bumped up, not removed entirely,” you teased, and you unlocked the door that sat in the wall surrounding your house, entering the front yard that came with your house. it was small, but jaehyun noticed it was just enough for the two of you to live in and it seemed cozy.
you closed the door behind you, it automatically locking and you led the way to the front door of the house, unlocking it and kicking off your shoes. jaehyun shuffled nervously a bit, not knowing what he needed to do but toed off his shoes anyway just to be courteous.
“would you like to tuck her in?” you asked him after switching on a light in the room, and jaehyun blinked as his eyes adjusted. “if you don’t want to, that’s okay, i can.” and you reached for yeoreum but jaehyun tightened his hold on the sleeping girl.
“i can do it,” he stressed and you grinned, holding up your hands in surrender.
“okay then, ‘mister jaehyun’,” you joked, motioning for him to follow you down the hall into the room he could only assume was yeoreum’s if the little moon nightlight glowing and the soft peach paint on the wall were anything to go by.
he noticed she didn’t have an overabundance of toys, maybe a handful of plushies on her bed but he realized it was because she had a little table in the corner stacked with coloring books, crayons and markers. he could see her wanting to be an artist when she grew up, she had told him that already. as he was taking in the room, you had already folded back her blankets and you were waiting for him expectantly.
he very gently tucked yeoreum in after taking off her shoes and gave her the plushie he had gifted her and she cuddled into it immediately. it caused his heart to ache looking at her, realizing he had missed so many things. jaehyun followed you out of her room and you closed her door until it was just a crack.
“um…” jaehyun went to ask, not knowing how to really phrase the question he wanted.
“are you thirsty?” you asked him instead as you headed into your kitchen and he hovered in the entrance.
“not really, thank you, but i was wondering, if you’d be okay with it…” he trailed off, and your eyes darted to see him looking somewhat nervous.
“with what?”
“do you… maybe have pictures you could show me? or videos? i just know i’ve missed a lot and if you were okay with it, i’d like to see the moments i wasn’t there for.” your heart softened, as did your smile.
“yeah, i think i can do that for you.”
so jaehyun stayed with you until late that night, sitting at the kitchen table as you showed him pictures and videos of yeoreum. moments like her first steps, and her first words, which you were pouting when you told him wasn’t “mama”, but instead was “no”. he got to experience your laughter as yeoreum had brought a frog inside the house, and her subsequent scream as it jumped out of her hand then chased her. he got to see pictures of her and he felt like he could have been there.
should have been there.
and as he flipped through picture after picture, he noticed that his heart picked up in speed each time he came across a picture of you in it. he watched as you spoke about each picture, the excitement in the nostalgia as you flipped through each one and you explained to him what was going on.
he felt like he was back in your apartment five years ago, he felt at peace with you here.
he missed all of this, and he was going to make sure he wouldn’t miss anything else.
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NCT 127 @NCTsmtown_127
[idols with kids] episode 11 with JOHNNY, JAEHYUN, and MARK
🖍️😺🍑🦁🖍️
#NCT127 #NCT127_IDOLSWITHKIDS #IDOLSWITHKIDS
@lovej43 replied to NCTsmtown_127
i can’t with jaehyun smiling at that little girl like that :(
@127valentines replied to lovej43
right??? she looks a lot like him too, so cute
@markinmiami replied to NCTsmtown_127
mark accidentally breaking his crayon ㅠㅠ the kid gave him a mean look
@bananasoutforjohn replied to NCTsmtown_127
dude looked FLABBERGASTED when the kid started crying
@myloveforjae replied to @127valentines
no ur right tho, she resembles him a lot more than just the dimples 🤨
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you knew that sm would post the video to their youtube channel, but you didn’t realize how anxious reading the comments would make you.
you weren’t aware that the video had posted until jisoo showed you that yeoreum was trending on twitter because of her interactions with jaehyun, and then you went to youtube to read the comments there and every time you read one that mentioned their resemblance it made your stomach flip uncomfortably.
you had a little under a month to prepare for that moment and yet, it still surprised you. you were just pleased that the overall theme for reactions was how cute your daughter was and that made your heart rest just a bit easier.
while reading the comments on your phone, your eyes instantly darted to the text notification that popped up.
3:43 pm he who might be named 😶🌫️: did you see they posted the video? everyone is commenting about how cute ‘reum is
3:44 pm you: yeah, and they’re also saying how much you look alike…
3:46 pm he who might be named 😶🌫️: well, she’s my daughter so i’d hope so
3:47 pm you: i don’t think you get what i mean
3:48 pm he who might be named 😶🌫️: you mean that she also gets her looks from you? i agree
your eyebrows rose at that comment, he had been mildly flirtatious for the past week but now it was becoming blatantly obvious.
3:50 pm you: i mean yes, but that wasn’t what i meant
3:51 pm he who might be named 😶🌫️: if it’s not that, then enlighten me
3:52 pm you: aren’t you concerned people will figure it out?
3:54 pm he who might be named 😶🌫️: i don’t think they’ll be able to figure it out from just a twenty minute video on youtube
3:55 pm he who might be named 😶🌫️: besides, they’d probably doubt it considering how beautiful you are
you simultaneously blushed at his very obvious flirting and sighed at his nonchalance. you were growing accustomed to jaehyun’s presence in your life, and you were finding yourself looking forward to seeing him and spending time with him. it made you feel as if you three were a family but the overwhelming dark cloud of the public finding out loomed over you and shadowed the fluttery feeling you felt in your chest when you talked to him.
you didn’t want to let this get to you but it was turning into somewhat of a fear for you, and it wasn’t really that people would find out.
it was the aftermath; the most negative version being the source of your fear.
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jaehyun stared at his phone waiting for a response from you a bit longer than he should have, but when he felt a shadow hovering to his left he quickly locked his phone. his shoulders instantly relaxed when he saw it was doyoung, but the look on doyoung’s face made jaehyun instantly concerned.
doyoung refused eye contact with him, shifting uncomfortably as he leaned against the mirrored wall of the practice room. everyone else was sat in various spots on around the room and although jaehyun didn’t mind doyoung deciding to spend his break with him, his awkward behavior made jaehyun tense.
“i’ve been putting off talking to you for a week now.” doyoung said to the ground, his arms crossing over his chest.
“what about?”
“i…” doyoung started then stopped, he waited a few seconds then began again. “look, just remember i did it to protect you, you know, just in case.”
he was purposefully being vague and jaehyun pushed off the wall, turning his body to really face doyoung. “what did you do?”
“it’s – i – when y/n came over the first time, even though you were convinced, i wasn’t. so… i had a dna test done.” doyoung’s response made jaehyun’s skin grow hot, he wasn’t why sure anger was the first emotion that bubbled up first but it came on strong enough to surprise even him.
“why would you do that?” he said from between gritted teeth. the idea that yeoreum might not be his never crossed his mind, he had been so sure from the moment he saw you near her.
he just knew.
“you didn’t know, you were just going off of y/n’s word alone. i wanted to give you proof.”
“no, you wanted to rub it in my face that she had lied. you wanted to be right.” jaehyun couldn’t hear how his voice was raising, he could only hear the blood rushing in his ears.
“you would have went your whole life possibly raising someone else’s kid if i hadn’t had the test done!” doyoung was defensive now, and he couldn’t understand why jaehyun would have just blindly believed you like he did.
“i wouldn’t have cared either way!” jaehyun hadn’t realized he had gotten closer to doyoung until a hand came to push against his chest, pulling him back and away from him.
“keep it down unless you want the whole building to know your business,” johnny said lowly to jaehyun, eyes darting to the choreographer across the room, who seemed to be mostly unaware of the situation since he had headphones on.
“he went behind my back and had a dna test done, without asking me first!” jaehyun argued back, angry eyes not leaving the apologetic ones of doyoung.
“if it makes you feel better, she’s yours.” doyoung said, guilt apparent in his face even if he was trying to maintain his stance that he had done nothing wrong.
“i knew that already!” jaehyun actually yelled that time, and he went to take a step forward – to do what he wasn’t sure but johnny’s palm held him firmly in place.
his phone choosing that moment to vibrate, pulling him away from the moment; he had an incoming call from you. he took a moment to shoot doyoung a seething glare, then took a calming breath before turning away to answer.
“hi,” he breathed, his anger slowly dissipating.
“hello,” you replied, but your voice was a bit strained and he picked up on it right away.
“everything okay?” he questioned instantly.
“yeah,” you said and he heard you pull away to speak to someone else before coming back to the phone. “my friend and coworker, jisoo? she was there that day with me, she got injured at work and i’m the only one able to take her to the hospital. will you…” another quick word to someone else. “i need you to be there to pick up yeoreum from school, please.”
jaehyun’s mind was racing thinking of his schedule for the day, he had practice for another few hours, and he told you as such.
“i know you’re busy, but this is something that comes with being a parent. you make adjustments.” you said, and your voice was panicked as you heard someone call for you, and he heard you address the doctor.
“please jae, she has a key on her backpack. you get to pick her up from school and be her dad. this is what you asked for… and what she has always wanted.”
“i’ll be there.” he answered, his mind made up before you even had started to speak. “what time does she get out for school?”
“5, thank you so much, jae. i really appreciate it.” and when someone called your name again you sounded rushed once more. “coming! bye jae, i’ll see you later.”
you hung up the phone, and even though jaehyun was still feeling angry towards doyoung, he couldn’t help the smile that grew on his face at the opportunity you gave him.
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jaehyun was thankful that the lady at the front counter seemed to be too old to stay in tune with media as she didn’t even bat an eyelash when he gave his name to her and told her that he was there to pick up yeoreum. he refrained from saying the term ‘my daughter’ aloud but your rules couldn’t stop him from thinking it.
when the lady called over the system to tell the teacher that it was time for yeoreum to go home, jaehyun leaned casually against the wall while he waited.
he wasn’t thinking about how he had lied to get out of the last few hours of practice. he wasn’t thinking about the argument yet to be resolved with doyoung.
he wasn’t thinking about the other parents coming in and seeing him, recognizing him.
all he could think about how long the minutes seemed too stretch on for yeoreum to be released from her class… and he wouldn’t lie and say he wasn’t also thinking about you. specifically, the last time he saw you, which was three days before.
you had invited him over on sunday night, stating that yeoreum had asked about him and if she could one day make cookies for mister jaehyun. you had told him it was so out of the blue for her to ask that and when you had questioned her on it, her simple response was ‘if cookies makes santa come, maybe it will work for mister jaehyun too’.
you didn’t have the heart to tell her no, which led to the phone call. jaehyun was there in twenty minutes, knocking on the door to which you answered with flour splattered across your face, with a giggling four-year-old right behind you sporting flour in her hair. jaehyun’s grin was painful for his cheeks as he took in the scene, and he couldn’t help but laugh with you both before even saying hello.
“are you supposed to be wearing the ingredients?” jaehyun asked as he stepped inside your house, following you both as you made your way into the kitchen.
“mommy started it!” and you feigned a gasp, a floured hand on your chest.
“i did not!” and she giggled once more, waving her tiny hands for jaehyun to bend down so she could whisper in his ear. jaehyun’s dimples were deep as he listened to her and your thoughts straying to how handsome he was running through your mind before you even registered. jaehyun turned his head to nod excitedly with yeoreum and you narrowed your eyes at them both.
“you better have told him how you threw first,” you warned playfully.
“oh she did,” jaehyun agreed, moving slightly to the left and it didn’t click that he was suspiciously close to the bag of flour. “she also said we should be on a team.”
“wha – oh don’t you dare!” but it was too late, as jaehyun had already pinched some flour and flicked it at you, and as you stood there with a shocked look on your face and flour now decorating your hair, jaehyun and yeoreum shared a giggly high five. you crossed your arms childishly and stomped your foot, turning away from them both dramatically, taking a page directly out of your daughter’s book.
“oh no, ‘reum… we’ve made your mommy upset.” jaehyun theatrically whispered and you had to bite back a laugh.
“i know what will cheer her up!” yeoreum whispered back, and they were both suspiciously silent and then you heard feet shuffling behind you; yeoreum popping up in front of you suddenly, and then there were not one, but two sets of arms wrapping around you in a tight squeeze, yeoreum’s head resting on your stomach and you froze at the feeling of jaehyun’s cheek resting on top of your head.
you felt the heat rise up your neck and the butterflies were back; you couldn’t tell if this was part of the joke or if he meant the hug the way it felt to you but you quickly pushed that train of thought to the side, giving yourself two more seconds in the embrace of them both before you broke the moment by clearing your throat.
“so, did we still want to make mister jaehyun cookies?” yeoreum blinked up at you cutely and nodded her head, you ran your hand through her hair gently, still very aware of jaehyun at your back and you tried to ignore it but failed.
jaehyun noticed it took only five minutes of trying to cook for yeoreum to get bored and ask if she can go color instead, so it left only you and him in the kitchen, and the first few minutes were spent trying to fill the awkward silence with comments and small laughter.
you had just started to mix up the ingredients when you heard him move, his feet shuffling just a bit.
jaehyun leaned a little closer into your space, feeling his body heat on your back; his hand braced against the counter to the left of your hip and you weren’t sure if your heart raced or slowed, but all you knew was that you were hyper aware of his presence as you were minutes before when he had hugged you.
“do you need help with that?” he asked lowly, his voice near your ear and you could almost feel his breath on your cheek. you turned your head and he was as close to you as you had thought he was, and it made you take a slight step away. you knew he could see the rising blush on your cheeks and a smirk made its way to his lips.
“no, i got it,” you said, but then realized that his close proximity allowed you to get a little revenge. “i am capable, thank you very much.” it was your turn to flick flour at his face, and he only blinked at you in shock, his expression comical and you wished you could take a picture of it.
a small gasp at the entrance of the kitchen made you jump away from each other as if you had been caught doing something wrong, and you both had quickly fumbled with an excuse, neither of which had made any sense but you had seemingly gotten away with it.
the memory brought a smile to his face and that look was the first thing yeoreum saw as she walked through the door to see him waiting for her.
“mister jaehyun!” she exclaimed, running up to him and hugging him around his legs and god, he loved this little girl. when she let go, he bent down and went in for a proper hug, picking her up in the process and they left the building.
yeoreum spoke to him animatedly, telling him about her favorite part of her day and then she asked him about his favorite part, his answer being an immediate, “getting to see you, of course.” which only made her beam at him in a childlike sense of pride.
“what about mommy?” she asked innocently, and he blinked.
“well, of course you and her both are my favorite part.” yeoreum’s loud giggle made him smile but she shook her head.
“no, i mean where’s mommy?” and it dawned on him that he had told on himself to a very observant child.
“oh, she had to take her friend to the doctor. she isn’t your teacher, too?” jaehyun asked, playing it off in a way he thought was smooth enough. the question sparking another conversation about how she gets to change classrooms like she’s in real school but not a whole lot just sometimes and it’s definitely really fun, and jaehyun could only nod as she chattered away, finally arriving at the front gate to your home and yeoreum wiggled her way out of his arms so she could get her key.
“i wanna do it, mommy lets me!” and jaehyun nodded as he let her lead the way, really just letting himself enjoy being a parent solo, and after hours of dinner, bath, and then bed, he realized it was fairly exhausting and he told himself to remind you when you got home how impressive he thought you were.
jaehyun sat on the edge of her bed, she had requested him to tuck her in and he had but then she had started crying and he was on the verge of panicking.
“’reum, what’s the matter baby?” he said, taking a tip he got from you and running his hand through her hair to try and soothe her, she wasn’t hysterical but she clutched the plushie that he had gotten her tightly, big tears rolling down her cheeks as her bottom lip quivered.
“mommy always sings me a song and kisses me goodnight every night… when is she coming home?” she sniffed, and jaehyun’s eyebrows furrowed in concern. the last text update he had gotten was an hour ago when you had said that jisoo was going back for x-rays and that it shouldn’t be too much longer.
“she’ll be here soon but i can do that, too.” he offered her gently and her eyes looked a little less sad at his offer. “what song does she sing?”
“i don’t know the name,” her lip wobbled again and fresh tears sprung in her eyes.
“that’s okay,” he assured her soothingly, “can you hum it for me?”
yeoreum sniffed twice before humming the tune of a song jaehyun knew well, and it made a small smile tug at the corner of his mouth. as she hummed, he did the same right along with her until he started to sing softly to her, his hand continuing the motions from before, gently moving through her hair.
“so whenever you ask me again, how i feel… please remember…” and yeoreum wasn’t humming anymore, her small voice drifting away as she watched jaehyun, completely entranced by his voice, her young mind in awe at how he knew the song her mommy would sing to her.
“my answer if you,” jaehyun continued to sing, his finger tapping on her nose gently which finally earned him a small laugh. a sound he missed, and while he was glad to be present for even the times she was upset, he preferred her happy and smiling.
yeoreum didn’t say anything for a long second, and then in a small and unsure voice asked, “mister jaehyun?”
“yes, miss yeoreum?”
“if… if my daddy doesn’t ever come back from his business trips, if he’s still too busy for me…” jaehyun’s heart broke at the mention of that, his smile slowly disappearing from his face. “do you think you could be my daddy instead?”
“oh yeoreum…” he started and he saw a bit of panic welling up in her eyes, and she scrambled to sit up.
“i’m really good, i promise! mommy says so and santa does too, i get presents every year.” she pleaded, her eyebrows so furrowed they were nearly touching, and jaehyun’s eyes softened.
“yeoreum, sweetheart. i am y-.”
“”’reum, i’m home.” jaehyun nearly jumped at the sound of your voice, his head whipping around to find you staring at him in the doorway. he couldn’t quite place the emotion there; it wasn’t necessarily anger but you didn’t seem happy in the slightest.
“mommy!” yeoreum called, her tears forgotten at the sight of you in her room. you walked over to kneel at the edge of her bed, motioning for her to lay down again and pulling the blankets up to her chin.
“did you have fun with mister jaehyun?” you asked her, brushing her hair back away from her face. you heard everything said, and the feeling that you were letting her down sat heavy on your chest.
“i did, we had lots of fun,” she replied, finally letting out a long overdue yawn – the worry of you not being home the main thing that kept her awake.
“tell him goodnight, okay?”
“goodnight, mister jaehyun.” she murmured sleepily and you stood up then, motioning for jaehyun to follow you as you closed her door behind you. you moved away from the door, heading into the kitchen and jaehyun couldn’t help the feeling that he was in trouble somehow.
“i thought we had a deal,” you finally said, turning to face him as you leaned against the kitchen counter.
“what?” jaehyun was a little confused, he was trying to figure out where this conversation was going before it even started.
“the statute of limitations weren’t up yet, i still don’t want you to tell her you’re her father.” your voice was stiff, and you didn’t make eye contact with him as you spoke.
“i wasn’t going to…”
“i heard everything, jae. she already loves you so much, and if you decide to walk out it’s going to wreck her and i’ll be left to try and fix what you broke.”
jaehyun wasn’t sure why, but he felt the telltale sign of his anger rising. he felt it on the back of his neck, and the way his teeth ground together.
“i thought i made myself clear that i wasn’t going anywhere.” his voice wasn’t curt, but you still heard the tone.
“you did, but that’s when things are relatively easy. who’s to say-?” and he cut you off.
“say about what? what could anyone possibly say to make me leave?”
“me, when i say i think it’s best you kept your distance for a little while. you’ve made things complicated for me.” and to say jaehyun was shocked speechless would be an understatement.
“how?” was his only response, he was biting on the inside of his cheek to keep from getting really upset.
“we were fine,” you started, crossing your arms in front of your chest. “we were fine on our own, and then you waltzed in our lives and shook everything up and now i don’t know which way is up and which way is down. i think you’re confusing yeoreum… and me and… and i don’t know how to feel about any of this.”
“this was fate and you know it.” and your answering scoff only spurned him on. “i don’t believe in coincidences and neither did you last i checked. you moved here so she could learn about her heritage, and of the millions of people in korea you still manage to run into me, she still found me.”
“yes… well we had our life just fine on our own – just me and yeoreum. what right-.”
“i’m her father!” his voice raised just enough to make you finally look at him, to see the hurt in his eyes as he spoke. “that’s what right. you’ve given me this… this incredible gift, something i didn’t even know i needed until a month ago and i refuse to let you take it away from me. i thought you and i were getting closer, but if you want to continue to hate me that’s fine, but i want to be in my daughter’s life and you can’t keep me from doing that.”
his eyes were glassy, as if he was keeping himself from crying over the situation as a whole and his breathing was heavy. you broke the eye contact you held with him, instead focusing on the rise and fall of his chest.
his response was answer enough for you.
answer for this entire thing you had been fighting off for the past month while you got to know each other again, while you got to spend time together as a family. you saw yeoreum smiling and laughing, jaehyun usually the cause of it. their dimples coming out in the exact same manner, and it was like within the month you felt your heart warm up in a way it hadn’t in years at the idea of it, the idea of him.
you realized you were happier around him too, and although you really were trying to protect yeoreum, you realized in that moment that you were also trying to protect yourself.
and that wasn’t fair to yeoreum, jaehyun… or you.
“i don’t.” you said softly, finally giving him a response he found cryptic.
“what?”
“i don’t hate you.” you clarified for him and he inhaled deeply.
“then why are you acting as if i’m an asshole when i’ve done nothing but try and prove to you that i’m not… that i care about you both.” his hands were thrown out at his sides in exasperation, finally realizing that it wasn’t anger he was feeling but fear.
“because it won’t just be her heart you’ll break if you decide to leave.” you gnawed at your lip, unsure of how he was going to respond to this.
“what do you…” he asked and his voice was softer now, taking a small step towards you.
“you’ll be breaking mine, too.” you said, and you finally made eye contact with him again and he could see it there.
the fear.
of rejection, of being hurt, of being left alone after becoming so quickly used to having another person be there with you. he understood then.
he closed the gap in a few steps, and he stood in front of you, his hands hesitating before he allowed them to rest on your arms.
“i know… i know this hasn’t been easy for you. that you’ve had terrible things said to you because i wasn’t there, and i can’t guarantee that when people find out, more things won’t be said. but the difference is that i’m here now. i’m here and i’m not going anywhere, and…” he trailed off for a moment, eyes searching yours before he finally continued. “i know there were no expectations five years ago, but i have them now. i know you feel this too, i know you do. and if i have to convince you every day that i’m not going anywhere, then i will.”
you didn’t realize you had started to cry until your tears started to burn your eyes and you wiped them away with a watery laugh.
“oh come on, i can’t have both my girls crying in one night.” and jaehyun swore his heart stopped when you looked up at him like that.
“then don’t say sweet things to make me cry.” you said, tone a little pouty.
“well if that’s what it takes,” jaehyun shrugged easily.
“yeah but,” your sentence was then interrupted by jaehyun’s phone vibrating incessantly in his pocket. he dug it out, ready to ignore the phone call but the name that popped up made him hit accept instead. you didn’t hear any of the other side of the conversation, only jaehyun’s.
“oh, really?” followed by a, “yes, that’s true.” and then, “not to be disrespectful, but i don’t care.” his eyes then jumping back to yours when he said, “then we’ll figure it out, this is more important to me.” before saying, “okay, i’ll see you tomorrow.” and finally hung up.
“what was that about?” you asked tilting your head to the side, your curiosity getting the better of you.
“that… was everyone finding out.” he said easily and your eyebrows shot up over widened eyes, “and as you heard me say – i don’t care. we’ll figure it out one way or another, all i know is that you, yeoreum… this family is far more impor – mmph!” and you didn’t give him the chance to finish his sentence because you threw your arms around his neck and kissed him.
the action familiar to you, recalling the way jaehyun had done the same all those years ago. jaehyun wasn’t one to miss an opportunity and so he kissed you back, his arms wrapping around you tightly and pulling you closer to him. the moment was one he had been wanting for weeks now, ever since he sat with you at the table and you showed him all the pictures.
and he didn’t waste a second, kissing you until you were both breathless and you finally pulled away.
“i’m sorry, i just…” you trailed off, finally seeing that happiness in his eyes again.
“don’t be, because i’m about to do it again.” he said with a smirk before closing the distance once more, this kiss much sweeter than the first. his palm flat against the small of your back, his other hand resting on your hip and everything about that moment with him felt right.
his lips, his warmth, his smile that you felt against your lips that fully interrupted the kiss.
“what is it?” you huffed playfully, and his smile turned into a small laugh.
“i just remembered something.” he said, his dimples appearing then.
“and that is…?”
“try again, huh?” he joked before planting a quick kiss to your lips, muffling your groan.
“it was the only thing that would stop her from crying as a baby.” you defended weakly.
“that’s my girl.” he said, nothing but pride in his voice, and you smacked him gently on the chest.
“our girl.” you corrected him easily, and the smile that lit up his face was breathtaking.
“our girl.”
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[b side: epilogue]
a year or so later…
a family outing is what jaehyun had called it when he woke up one morning asking if you wanted to go to the gardens that had a christmas lights display and you didn’t even get the chance to decide because yeoreum overheard as she stood at your doorway and was immediately excited.
��that settles that then,” you teased.
“as if you ever had a choice,” he said to you with a wink, calling a good morning to the sleepy girl who jumped into bed and cuddled with you both.
your little family had a lazy day in bed before you all finally rolled out of it to get ready for the lights, making sure that yeoreum – who was adamant that she didn’t need help picking out clothes anymore – bundled herself up in her puffy jacket, you pocketing her gloves that she had forgotten. jaehyun purposefully matched jackets with her, and you sighed knowing you had to do the same.
“we look like a little marshmallow family,” you commented as you walked through the gardens, the lights reflecting off of your face.
“yes but a cute one,” jaehyun retorted, teasing being his way of flirting and something you noticed never slacked off even after you had officially started dating him.
you hadn’t realized you had walked ahead of them and then you noticed neither of them were right behind you, you turned around to see jaehyun smiling brightly as he kneeled to whisper suspiciously to yeoreum, something that had been their thing ever since the beginning.
“really?!” yeoreum gasped aloud, eyes pleading with him to not be joking. you narrowed your eyes at them, desperately hoping jaehyun wasn’t telling her they would get the hamster she had been begging for. when jaehyun nodded in answer to her question, her entire body radiated with excitement and then his eyes pointedly looked from her to you a few times and yeoreum giggled.
she turned on her heel and skipped over to you, motioning for you to bend down so she could whisper in your ear – letting you in on the secret. as she whispered, your eyes widened slightly, and they softened as they easily found his.
you could feel yours slowly starting to tear up and you held them at bay for as long as you could. instead of saying anything aloud, you kept with the spirit of their game, their thing they shared, you whispered to yeoreum. you figured she’d skip back over to jaehyun to give him your response but instead she jumped up and down, turning to face jaehyun.
“she said yes!” she exclaimed loudly with her hands cupping around her mouth, squealing with enthusiasm. looking at jaehyun’s soft smile, eyes full of love for you and for the little girl you shared, the answer was obvious.
as if you could have possibly said no.
#gimmehyuck#masterlist#nct127 masterlist#nct 127#nct 127 au#nct#nct 127 fic#jeong jaehyun#jaehyun au#jaehyun fic#jaehyun x yn#jaehyun x you#jaehyun fluff#jaehyun angst#i wrote out a bit of my daddy issues with this one lmao
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What if they knew each other, way before tsuna’s flame got sealed?
Maybe because Tsuna is Giotto’s exact copy, they would have a deeper connection than the other Vongola bosses and their descendants
Maybe just maybe, their combine hyper will flame made it posible for Giotto to meet his great great grandson
But who knows, I’m just messing around I guess haha
Close up of them
#khr#katekyo hitman reborn#khr tsuna#Khr Giotto#sawada tsunayoshi#vongola primo#giotto#how to make bg???? help???#au#my style#I think baby tsuna would asume Giotto is his real father#cause daddy issues#would he be a good dad ?? idk#also I’m sorry about the sketches I’ve been so busy with homework lately
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pics for those with daddy issues, yeah I know
#formula 1#daniel ricciardo x reader#george russell x reader#toto wolff x reader#toto wolff#george russell#daniel ricciardo#lewis hamilton#lewis hamilton x reader#daddy issues#f1 imagine#boyfriend material#insta au
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Taglist (send an ask or DM to be added or removed):
@arrthurpendragon @ocappreciationtag @raith-way @vexic929 @ironverseocs @thechaoticfanartist @goldheartedchaoticdisaster @negative-speedforce @starstruckpurpledragon @angst-is-love-angst-is-life
#*adopted/fostered i should say#he still keeps the surname allen so he probably isn’t adopted#but still#also:#the ‘short name’ is like#‘morgan wells au’ or ‘childhood friends au’#not actual name of it but the WIP filename#daddy issues au
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daddy issues au
summary: you've been craving your father's affection for years and after endless heartbreak, his best friend shows you how to be loved.
pairing: dadsbestfriend!thomas x brisson!reader
warnings: major age gap !! thomas is 40. absent father, lots of angst, anxiety, sadness, fear, hurt/comfort, regarding smut: innocence kink and daddy kink. other warnings will be specific to each fic.
playlist
tags
moodboards
series —
for hockey
part one
when your brother and dad are out for practice, you're met with unexpected company in your house.
going grape
part two
you and thomas get close after you meet some of your dad's friends for the first time and he has to reintroduce himself to hide suspicion.
dinner time
part three
you find out something that upsets you and leads you to avoid dinner but thomas comes to find you anyway.
the unknown remedy
part four
thomas shuts himself off from everyone for a couple days, resulting in a surprise from you and his friends. you find out one of his secrets and he gets vulnerable, leading you to reassure him that everything'll be okay.
imagines —
i'm not your dad
when you're in distress and call your dad to come get you, he sends his best friend instead.
force him to love you
after running out of the house because of a fight with your dad, thomas has to find you.
don't call me baby
brendan brings home a girl who makes you cry and he feels the need to defend you.
blurbs —
more blurbs under #dbf!thomas thoughts
teasing him at the dinner table
suggested 18+ but not close to nsfw, use your discretion | thom and y/n teasing each other when bren has him over.
his sounds of pain
dbf!thom taking y/n with him when he gets a new tattoo and she gets turned on by his little grunts and winces.
school supplies
dbf!thom taking you shopping for something you need.
brendan catching you together
suggested 18 + | dbf!thomas about them kissing or doing the devils tango and her dad walking in.
being there for you
part two
on senior night when everyone’s parents are supposed to show up for photos and celebrations, y/n thinks she’s gonna be the only one without someone there until thom shows up.
your first tattoo
dbf!thom being there for your first tattoo.
fights and rainy days
first time sleeping in dbf!thom bed.
cooking class
thom teaching you how to cook since your dad is always so busy with your brother.
pain and promises
thom helping you through your period.
honey butter
you're studying for a big test and you're super stressed so thom offers to help you.
convincing him
thom talks your dad into letting you get a tattoo.
you love him more
you tell your dad he treats you unfairly.
invisible
you have a breakdown in front of thom because you feel alone.
#thomas bordeleau#dadsbestfriend!thomas#dbf!thomas#dbf!bords#dbf!thomas x reader#brendan brisson#dad!brendan#dad!briss#thomas bordeleau x reader#umich hockey#umich hockey imagine#sj sharks imagine#vgk imagine#nhl imagine#hockey imagine#hockey boy imagine#daddy issues au#daddy issues au masterlist
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Tried out some brushes, and also gave PK a braid because I thought that'd be fun
#hollow knight#pure vessel#the hollow knight#the pale king#hk thk#thk#hk pure vessel#hk pale king#hk pk#hollow knight art#hollow knight au#spooky arts#faaf au#i was talking with friends about daddy issues which reminded me to post these#REALLY happy with the shading on PK's head
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Last night I had a dream that fae!Price’s darling was a witchy gal, her grandmother taught her about the fae when she was young. I’m talking warded up house, always carrying iron and salt, candles herbs and crystals the whole nine yards. They met in the flower shop after she got a weird vibe, looked through a hagstone and Saw him. He showed up in her garden and she gave him mead she made to make up for her rudeness. She will do small acts of kindness but specify that they are “freely given” to avoid tethering. I was reading your blog right before bed lol. I like the idea of debt holder Price and a (from a fae perspective) slippery darling that he just can’t catch unless she wants to be caught
*Holding the grimoire I wrote as a senior capstone in College* Oh you want witch shit? I can give you witch shit. Let's keep trying out Price's darlings, the only thing I require for her is that she have the most knowledge of the fae because she's dealing with the big kid one. (Here's where I mention that I also have a potential witch darling for Gaz so keep that in mind)
He's been hanging around your garden, just by your back gate, right where your grandmother planted rosemary so many years ago. You greet him every time you pass by, careful never to reach over the brick wall that separates you. He's friendly, but you're not so easily fooled.
"Good morning," you smile at him, watering the herbs on your side of the fence. He leans against the brick to watch you. Eyes heavy as they slide over you, tracing the sway of your skirt where it skims your thighs.
"How's my pretty witch doing today?" He asks voice thick and promising. He's just as careful to avoid your iron watering can as you are to keep it from splashing him. You find the residual warding properties tend to soak into the water. Your family has always maintained a strong threshold for the home.
"Better seeing you," you joke, returning the compliment as easily as can be. You never miss the heat in his eyes, the danger just below his friendly facade.
"I brought you something."
"That's very kind of you," you tell him, "I think the tomatoes are ripe, I'll send you off with some for the trouble."
"No trouble, I wanted to bring it."
"Oh but I couldn't accept a gift without repaying you, it would be rude of me."
"Repay me later," he growls, and you smile a little wider. You like this dance, you've never had a fae try so hard to get their hooks in you. You set down your watering can and lean against the brick across from him. Your weight resting on your elbows, the threshold humming between you.
"But I can repay you now."
"It's a gift."
"Gifts have strings."
"Then it isn't a gift," he says, mirroring your posture.
"Then what is it?" You ask, his eyes flick to your chest, appreciative, wanting. His confidence is charming, or it would be if you were the sort of person to take the fae at face value.
"A name," Your smile drops, your heart jumping up your throat. He must see the panic in your eyes because his smile widens. "Not to keep, just... to call me when we talk." Your pulse tries to slow from the impact of panic. He did that on purpose, you try not to look too rattled by this. You try to think of an appropriate repayment.
"I can't tell you mine."
"I know." He purrs, pleased with himself for catching you in your own defenses. You feel a chill graze your skin through the threshold, the edge of Winter. He knows exactly the corner he's backing you into. He gives you time to think through your options, to panic at the weight of his offer.
"I don't-"
"I know." He pushes, tapping against the solid line between you. You've never had the sight, but you can feel his magic collide with yours as he hits the threshold. You toy with the hagstone on your necklace, the worn stone warm from your skin under your fingers. "Witch," he warns.
"I'm still thinking."
"Think as long as you want," He leans closer, "but call me Price while you do."
Your heart stops, your thoughts grinding to a halt as well. Price. It fits him. You feel the silver thread searching for purchase in your soul, and break one of your long standing rules.
You lean over the threshold and kiss him. Because you know he wants to have some part of you, and you know he wants you on the wrong side of the fence. The thread breaks as his hand slides to cup your cheek, tipping your head as his lips slide against yours. It's your first one, and you think it's worth the price of his name.
His beard sort of tickles but his lips are soft and insistent, and you lean a little further over the wall to stay close. His hands are entreating, coaxing you further across the threshold. His teeth dig into your lip and you open for him, let him drag his tongue against yours as his fingers thread through your hair. You feel your feet leave the ground, the brick digging into your hands as you put your weight on them. The pain is enough to bring you back to your senses. You don't know what would happen if you let him take you.
Price sighs as you pull away and settle back on your side of the wall. He feels a thread hook in him. You've overpaid. He values your touch more than you apparently did, how fortunate for him. And unfortunate for you.
#fae!Price#a potential darling#this witch is more nice than the one Gaz is trying to deal with#gonna say shes a hedgewitch#very old school folk magic and family magic#john price x reader#john price mw2#captain john price#john price x y/n#john price#fae au#Price visiting his darling on the edge of winter every day bringing her little things#and going home with a bundle of food and fresh produce#asked my friend who has daddy issues to help me with this#hope its good for yall
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DPXDC prompt #29
Everything was perfect, Jason has an amazing girlfriend, the pit is quieter, and he is getting along well with his family. The only thing he didn't like it was his family demands in meeting his girlfriend, soon to be wife if he got the courage to ask her brother for permission.
Tim: So... how did you guys meet, Jason is considered the 'black sheep'?
God bless his soul, his girlfriend decided to be gremlin.: Oh, everybody has a bad cousin that teaches you a few things... like how to smoke, how to pick-pocket, how to hot-wire a car, how to put tacks on your shoe when you want to throw off a lie-detecting test. :)
Jason: Which cousin was this?
Danielle 'Chaotic Little Shit' Fenton: *whisper to jason* I am the cousin... *throw a smile towards his family*.
#dp x dc#danny phantom#dc x dp#dpxdc#dp au#dp x dc prompt#sasaki prompts#based on a tiktok#:3#i cant believe we never thought of this#ellie x jason#daddy issues
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Thinking about the exquisite imagery of Bucky shaving his mustache, while in contrast Buck let’s his scruff grow in. I can see it so clearly: Bucky shaves the ‘stach when they’re in the POW camp as a result of losing a bet (it’s highly probable he lost of purpose because he wants to give the men an opportunity to laugh it up). But it totally goes sideways once it becomes clear how young he looks without it. Buck on the other hand is stressing over this new change enough to forget to shave for a few weeks straight. Is this brain rot due to me thinking about Callum’s look in the Green Room combined with Austin’s look in the Bikeriders? Yes. Please send help.
in case anyone needs a lovely visual! (ʘ‿ʘ✿)
okay, while i PERSONALLY am in love with bucky's stache and feel like shaving it even in fiction would be an absolute travesty, i see the vision and i agree, i could totally see something like that happening.
john does it as a joke/for a bet and figures that hey, they're all gonna be stuck in the camp for a while anyway, chances are it'll grow back by the time it really matters. no big deal, and it gets laughs in a place where those are increasingly rare, even if he has to suffer through relentless teasing about his baby face for a few weeks.
gale does not deal with it nearly as well, however; it throws off any routine he's built and it feels ridiculous because it's just facial hair but it's such a big change after the monotony of day–to–day behind the fence that it's enough to rattle his brain. and letting his own facial hair grow out probably isn't even a conscious choice, almost like a mindless way of falling back into sync with john as both of theirs grows back.
if buckbucky is an established thing in this verse, we all know damn well john would be obsessed with gale's scruff, rubbing his own cheek up against it like a cat, thirsting over it and ogling him 24/7.
and the way it feels against his thighs, stubble burn leaving the sensitive skin a pretty pink when gale's face is between his legs...
john would be devastated and pouty when it comes time for him to finally shave it, but gale would promise him "when we get out, i'll let it grow back for a bit, yeah?" and that would perk him right up. <3
#i've actually been toying with an AU with gale and john but how they look in the bikeriders and green room/the only living boy in new york#and i have many Thoughts but i need to flesh it out more#and i probably won't ever do anything with it because i have too many things i want to write but it's a nice (hot) concept <3#also have y'all watched 'leaving' with callum turner bc good lord.#john looking like that pretty twink and crushing on intimidating bikeriders!gale??? the daddy issues vibes?? helllooooo meow LMFAOOO#buck x bucky#buckbucky#johnslittlespoon asks#johnslittlespoon brainrot#johnslittlespoon spicy
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