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#cw high
babyshoesnerdshit · 8 months
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batkids high headcanons
CW: weed (duh), characters being high (also duh), slightly platonic yandere, and infantilization
Dick: absolute cuddle monster, he will grab which ever sibling is closest and hold on like an octopus, if the need to get something from the other room he will simply carry them there so they can get it. need to go to the bathroom? it will take 15 minuets minimum to convince him to let you go. some siblings will hit him for clinging but it doesn't stop him at all. he just loves you guys so much, and he will tell you this constantly. super affectionate, will kiss the top of your head, you cheeks, your forehead ect. some of the others with try and stab him for this others will give up and let him. will be the one to buy all of the snacks before the sesh. makes sure to get all the ones he know you like best.
Jason: anger issues? what anger issues? super chill and the most relaxed you've seen him. he will find you and will carry you around on his hip, he talks to you like your a child (only you not any of the other siblings) he has a firm hold on you so the only way you're getting down is if one of the other siblings manages to convince him. however he is super comfy and you might fall asleep. if this happens you will be cooed at and many pics will be taken (however that would happen no matter what you did so). tries super hard to make you laugh but keeps cutting himself off by laughing at his own jokes. totally makes his own edibles. will go along with almost any silly antic you get up to, the best at playing along with the bit.
Tim: becomes super quiet and doesn't make many expressions, observes the others for the most part. then out of nowhere he will say the most philosophical shit that makes no sense to anyone but him and he refuses to elaborate. one of the only times he will fall asleep willingly. he will also hug like an octopus but only to you, you can push him off much easier but less than half of a minuet later he's hugging you again. will randomly start petting your hair when hugging you. takes lots of pics of you, if you ask why he just says he's documenting important things. he will use the particularly good/cute ones as ransom to the other siblings (ex. "if you do [insert thing] for me ill give you this pic of (y/n) high [doing cute thing]" and it always works)
Steph: becomes an absolute comedian, constantly cracking jokes and finds the funniest videos to watch. smiles and laughs at everything. tends to fall asleep before everyone else tho (except Duke but more on that later) finds the most random things funny, one time you found her laughing her ass off at an egg just sitting on the counter in the kitchen. will bat at things like a cat, like hoodie strings or someone's hair (most likely belonging to Tim or Cass). defo the biggest stoner out of the whole group (followed by probably Jason). always has a bag of chips on her, no one knows where she keeps them she just pulls them out of nowhere to start snacking.
Cass: Cass has never been drunk or high or any form of intoxicated, and she plans to keep it that way. she likes being in total control of herself all of the time. she does however like to hangout with you guys while you are high, she thinks its very funny and she takes photos and records things to use as blackmail or to trade. stays silent in the corner the whole time just watching you guys be idiots, if she sees you're starting to get stressed/have a bad time she will instantly be by your side and knows exactly how to comfort you. she makes sure you guys always have enough water, before you even ask there's a water bottle right next to you. (depending on just how high you are it ranges from a glass of water to straight up a sippy cup)
Duke: doesn't really get high often but will hang out with you like Cass, he however talks to you guys more than just observing. the few times he gets high it always a really small edible because he has a super low tolerance and smoking intimidates him, and he usually only uses it to help him sleep. dude is knocked out almost as soon as it hits. if he does manage to stay up he just laughs at everything and smiles without saying much. he's just happy to be there :]
Damian: is too young to do anything so no weed for him. he claims he doesn't care and that he is superior for keeping his mind clear but will then go pout in his room because he feels left out. will hang out sometimes but not often because he is a common target for dicks octopus hugs/overbearing affection. when he is old enough I get the feeling he would still not partake out of spite and so he can say he's better than you.
Bonus: Alfred makes the best food for munchies, any requests will be made no matter how strange. Bruce knows but he lets it slide (only after doing several hours of research on it to make sure you guys weren't doing anything too harmful) because he's just happy to see all of his kids getting along and bonding. Bruce did give you all an hour long lecture about making sure what you had was gotten from a safe and regulated dispensary and how to get high in the safest way possible. I personally think he transformed one of the lounge rooms into a specific high room, it has no sharp objects and nothing that you could accidentally get hurt on, there's pillows and blankets everywhere. he will also make sure you guys properly clean any pipes/bongs. much like many of your siblings he will use this as an opportunity to baby you (he would tell you to hold his hand because you might be a bit wobbly or carry you to bed ect.)
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pluralcultureis · 2 months
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Stoner pDID plural culture is getting way too fucking high and going through a process we call "alter roulette", where we start rapid switching like we're a roulette wheel. Pretty disorienting.
We do this every other night and it sucks but it's also validating honestly
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saeyoungchoismaid · 8 days
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Should I get high and write a drabble w someone for 4/20?? 💀
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maximumsunshine · 7 months
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what's up tumblr? I'm rather high (pot)(medical) right now and really really bored and thought hey i don't spend much time on tumblr anymore i wonder what weird shit my mutuals are getting up to these days. So. Lay it on me! Whatcha got?
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wisteriasymphony · 4 months
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what no don't turn into a universally despised character you're so sexy--
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dinerfries · 5 months
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went to the dentist again and got high off laughing gas again according to my brain this is what i look like (ft. flowers)
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wuppydog · 7 months
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HI IT’S JUST A BIT PAST MIDNIGHT HERE AND THE HAPPY, SWEET, LOVE-EVERYONE-AND-EVERYTHING PART OF MY HIGH JUST HIT 😭🐶🙏💜✨
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hour two of I think I’m high
I still can’t breathe automatically
My throat feels nonexistent
Something was touching my leg. I freaked out. It was me 😅
please someone when will this be over halp
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congrats on being trans
i may be a bit high
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Thank you! 😂
...have a good trip? I dont know if there's high-specific well wishes so Im making this up.
You made me smile :)
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king-hsssy · 8 days
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Funny weed number
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poetrywhores · 4 months
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the scent of sweet wine lingers in my mouth as nausea overwhelms me even though i threw up not even a minute ago
i wanna kiss someone or kill myself or kill someone else
i wanna worry all my friends on christmas eve and tell them i'm gonna kill myself and if i point a gun to my head i won't be lying
so i'll point a gun to my head and blast christmas kids on christmas eve text goodbyes maybe get high all because of the sweet scent of wine
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star-crossed-system · 6 months
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i don’t like anything about me
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bluecoati · 8 months
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I feel like I left my body a few times, and also I zone out and the white noise fills my head so distractingly I feel like I can't hear, but I caaannnn
It's weird but so cool to just exist in this hahaaa
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lazylittledragon · 26 days
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mombin pt 2 because we're committed now
(part 1 is here)
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iddstar · 1 month
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They did it.
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stars-in-a-jam-jar · 11 days
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I don't think Buddy asks Helio any questions.
Kristen asked 'Why do bad things happen to good people?' because she believed in all the good things she was taught, but noticed the strange disconnect between the world as it was and the world as it was taught to her. So she thought, surely, if I can't come up with the answer, Helio will have it. And she hates him for dodging her question.
Buddy is far more deluded than Kristen ever was. And he is far, far angrier inside as a result, even if he deliberately conceals this fact from himself to protect himself from the inevitable mental breakdown this would cause. Buddy is not as altruistic and giving and caring as Kristen is. He wouldn't question why he was betrayed or dig into a question like 'Why do bad things happen to good people?' Those aren't the answers he needs, because of course he'd be betrayed by someone outside the church, that makes perfect sense. Of course bad things happen to good people, we simply live in a fallen world.
Or, well. He used to live in a fallen world. Now he's dead here. In Helio's divine domain.
I think Buddy, as he wanders through fields of corn to the big farmhouse where Helio is chilling out, privately thinks about the fact that Kristen Applebees' horrified expression was the last thing he ever saw before a sharp pain in his throat. I think Buddy assumes Helio knows he's thinking this and apologizes for bringing thoughts like that into paradise. I think he thanks Helio for recognizing his devotion and bringing him here once he died and dutifully deceives himself about his own rising emotions at contending with the fact that he's dead now.
After all, he was raised to die. He was raised to want to die.
To want to be here with his god whenever it was he called Buddy to him. So he doesn't feel upset, no, of course not. He's just a little surprised at how sudden it was. (How completely random. How unceremonious and unfair.) He's a little bit worried how his grandparents would react to the news is all. (He cracks a joke that maybe he'll see them here shortly after they do get the news. He doesn't laugh at it.) He had his own plans for how he'd spread the good word in life, but of course, Helio had other plans. (Nothing Buddy ever wanted really mattered. He knew that, he knew the will of Helio was the real thing that mattered, and everything else was just a small list of preapproved extracurriculars in the syllabus of his life.)
He can't be upset about this.
He shouldn't be upset about this.
This is his reward.
This place and these people and this god are his reward for a life of service and devotion and walking in the light.
It's not his place to be upset about his own reward. Kristen got upset when she went to heaven, when she met Helio, and look where that got her.
Look... look where that got her.
He thinks he hates her. For looking at him like that. All the ways she looked at him. Like he was something pitiful and contemptible. Someone she needed to threaten away from her little brother. Someone she has to double and triple check if he's going to revive her when he's under magical oath to do just that or lose his connection to a divinity she threw away after being chosen.
And then. In that last moment, she looked at him and he saw grief and horror and caring. Like his death was awful and unfair and tragic.
And he thinks maybe he hates her for that. For challenging him every conversation they had and looking at him like she knew something he didn't. Like she was above him. Like killing your own god twice in life is a preferable fate to living for the promise of eternal sunlight and cornbread in death. A promise which was kept to him.
Kristen was promised to Helio, too.
And he can't unsee her face. He can't move along and focus on what truly matters (Helio, the church, spreading the word, doling out divine punishment when needed) because he's reached the end. There is nothing left. Only this bright sunny cornfield and a god who... is nice. And who cares about him, personally. He got Buddy's name wrong the first and only time they held audience.
He thinks he hates Kristen, and he hates that that hatred isn't immediately squashed out of his soul just by being here. In paradise. Where he belongs. Where every follower of Helio belongs. Where he never has to have anyone look at him the way Kristen did ever again.
I don't think Buddy Dawn asks Helio any questions. Because how do you ask the god you devoted every waking minute of your life to, 'Why do I hate it here? Why does this feel like hell?'
(There's a part 2 now that the next ep is out >:3)
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