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#cover letters are evil
black-rose-irl · 7 months
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I regret ever complaining about term papers. Group projects are much much worse.
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completeoveranalysis · 2 months
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[9]
EXCUSE ME LET'S SEE THAT AGAIN
FOR SCIENCE
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AH YES
AH YES LOOK AT THIS WONDERFUL PIECE WE HAVE TO VIEW HERE TODAY
LET’S ALL HAVE A MOMENT OF APPLAUSE
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THE MOMENT OF CLOSURE I WASN’T ENTIRELY SURE WE WOULD BE GETTING????
If Kyle had disappeared offscreen never to be seen again, I would have complained absolutely, but I would have understood, considering how everyone else in this conflict has SUCH HIGHER stakes! How do you find room for Kyle when your opponents are our beloved Syaoran and Evil Wolverine himself?
AND YET HERE WE ARE
A GIFT JUST FOR US
KYLE RONDART DEAD ON SCREEN
A BIG DRAMATIC MOMENT JUST FOR KYLE
AND IT’S NOT EVEN ABOUT HIM
HE WASN’T EVEN IMPORTANT
HE WAS JUST THE DECOY
COMPLETELY MEANINGLESS TO THE VERY END
AND YET WE STILL GET TO SEE HIM GO, WITH FURY :D 
It’s everything I could have wanted. 
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NO WAIT IT GOT BETTER!
In his final moment Kyle UNDERSTANDS. 
He KNOWS now that he was only there to be used. Like everyone else, he was just a tool to Evil Wolverine and nothing more. 
He was only there in the first place to unknowingly take the hit. Evil Wolverine not just allowed him to die but intended him to die. 
Kyle dies knowing Evil Wolverine never gave a shit about him, and let him be murdered on purpose without defending him. 
WHAT A GIFT TO ME PERSONALLY.
Unfortunately I suppose that means the mirror isn’t actually destroyed after all, but still! I’ll take it! And the shadow Evil Wolverine hovering in the background framed by Kyle’s falling blood is PEAK design. 
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clownjacket · 3 months
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Okay my crack theory for Lucy’s god situation:
What if instead of dying Lucy’s god became an archfey and fucked off, forsaking all of their followers. I could see that as justifiable for a minor god—maybe you don’t want your personality and existence to be dependent on a group of people small enough for a really big hurricane to wipe them out. Maybe you want to try your hand at self actualization, which you can’t really do as a god. Whatever.
But that would still mean Lucy’s grades would be screwed for the year, and the whole group would be switched to pass/fail.
Whatever god they’re trying to bring back seems like they want to stay a god, but would also only have a single living cleric so their nature would be heavily influenced by who that cleric is, and could still be controlled. Bringing back an established dead god with living followers probably reduces the risk of the god immediately dying or completely sucking ass/not being powerful like what happened with YES!(?), and we know the Ratgrinders LOVE minimizing risk. And choosing a dead god that represents something Lucy is actually passionate about preaching and proselytizing would make her work as a cleric much easier for her emotionally than, say, switching to Helio and just going through the motions, and bringing back a god would probably look good on college resumes.
Idk, that’s just an alternative theory to Lucy’s god dying based on what’s been established this season.
#fantasy high#the ratgrinders#ratgrinders#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#d20 fantasy high#dimension 20#this is an idea I came up with while basically writing fanfiction in my head about a possible route Ivy’s story could go#that would make the ragtringers not evil / kind of justified#basically my ‘what if’ plot line is that Ivy’s god forsakes her during the sophomore spring project and that leads to her loosing her power#and the ratgrinders having to choose a pacifistic quest to go on because they no longer have a healer but can’t tell anybody#hence why they didn’t kill anything during their sophomore quest but seemingly still passed with a letter grade#(we know Ivy’s death was only reported after grading was completed—which means they wouldn’t have been switched to pass/fail)#Now Ivy is thinking about what grade to switch to before the end of the year so she doesn’t fail#all while covering up her god forsook her to the school until she has her replacement figured out#but WHOOPS something happens and she dies anyway…but with no afterlife she’s stuck as a ghost. The ratgrinders will all fail if they report#her dead right then-and Ivy doesn’t want that for her friends-so instead the ratgrinders disguise self as her and fake her cleric powers#with their own in class just enough to keep her from failing the year…then after grading closes they report her as dead to Augfort and ask#for his help in reviving her like he did the bad kids. But he tells them that he brought the bad kids back by taking their place in#the afterlife; if Ivy’s stuck as a ghost and not in an afterlife than there’s nothing he can do right now but he’ll look into it oh wait#his DAUGHTER is back and they need to bond nevermind here are some resources during this endless night that you can read up on to try to#find a way to bring your dead friend back on your own have FUN high schoolers I believe in you but it’s Ayda time!#so the ratgrinders did a bunch of research on their own and they found that a god could bring her back to life and the only one willing to#do that would probably be a preestablished dead god they brought back to life (similar to Kristen with Cassandra). This red god is just#the safest bet they found in the books to complete their plan#I won’t call all THAT a theory because it’s based on nothing but that’s my idea for a direction her backstory could go#also pretend whenever I wrote ‘ivy’ in this little end section I actually wrote Lucy#I canNOT believe I made that mistake#Cassandra save me
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themoonking · 6 months
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see someone spreading misinformation about ancient greece online, gently correct them, they say "well discerning whats canon and whats fanon in greek mythology is really difficult". i am killed instantly.
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sodrippy · 6 days
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guys i miss my job ):
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likeadevils · 4 months
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anyone have any tips on how to deal with my life force slipping out of my fingers from where i’ve clutched them against my chest in agony
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disquietedpalefish · 9 months
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Last photos of my unfinished Resident Evil blanket (which I started making in my teens and eventually abandoned overwhelmed) before I take it apart for yarn and space.
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bout to head out to a poolbar with one of those pay to play jukebox thing. hope they’re ready for GVF
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emcads · 2 years
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I hope you don’t mind a random question! I’m not good at making AUs but I was wondering if something tragic(perhaps) made Esmeralda go very mad and let go of many of her morals to the point she could have a cup of tea with Blackbeard, what kind of villain do you think she would make?
I LOVE random questions! 
I think Esmeralda would make an excellent villain, and I actually think she’s very close to the point you’re talking about in canon;  the text I always point to is when she’s having dinner with Jack and Robby and even talking politely about hunting (and failing to hunt) Christophe has her clench her hand into a fist, though she exerts control over her voice. there’s also the scene with bainbridge where, although she doesn’t kill him purposefully, it only takes him slicing her feather to invoke her rage. had Jack not been there asking her not to do so, she absolutely would have killed him then and there. and it’s worth mentioning that to a lot of people, she already is a villain –– notably, the spanish nobles she and don rafael seek out to personally murder.  ( of course, I’m of the opinion that this is perfectly justified revenge, but they are greater acts of violence than merely taking cargoes comparatively peacefully, though that in itself is enough to merit capital violence from the state )
all this to say that her transition to a villain wouldn’t necessarily be extreme : she’s already faced a lot of trauma, and daily violence, on top of the grief of going about the colonial 18th century as a woman and mestiza, so she’s become the person she is through and because of those experiences.  but were she to go full villain,  I could see her becoming a J.ennifer C.heck type that utilizes her strengths in seduction / sensuality / beauty to trap and kill male victims ;  Esmeralda does harbor a lot of resentment towards men  ( and again, I would say, not without good reason, given what happened with the nobles and the rogues )  and part of the reason she’s regarded as monstrous already in the book is her gender non-conformity and, subsequently, queerness ( i.e. her cross-dressing and adoption of male roles/environments that enrages bainbridge ).  her journey to villain could parallel flint’s in a lot of ways :  one act against a loved one to trigger already  existing hatreds  towards the colonial system and the men who run it,   at which point she would be merciless.
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llycaons · 2 years
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wow my resume fucking sucks and so does my cover letter
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swankpalanquin · 2 years
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i haaaaaaaaaate adjusting my resume and cover letter for every application
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teeforhee · 1 year
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the news and the internet and laws will convince you that the majority of people are rabidly antitrans. and then you do literally anything interacting with normal irl folks and it's like oh no there's just an incredibly loud group of insane people but most regular folks are well aware it's literally whatever
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jrueships · 6 months
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i love how benny is the only one who can make tiny (dice) look like he's a creature capable of compassion
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beansprean · 6 months
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no bats were harmed in the making of this art (it was consensual dkjhsk)
[sticker + prints!]
Support me on Patreon or send a tip on Kofi!
(ID in alt and under cut)
ID: Full body of Guillermo, topless and wearing green chinos tucked into brown boots, a stake in each hand, high-kicking a large bat out of the air. Guillermo's hair is overgrown, he has a cuff and fang pierced in his ear, double bar piercings in both nipples so it looks like a cross, an actual silver cross around his neck, multiple gnarled scars on his hands, stomach, chest, and face, and tattoos covering his body. The tattoos include, on his right arm: a saguaro cactus, a stylized Nahua gila monster, an evil eye, a bote joghe, and 'familia' written in cursive. On his left arm: an ankh filled with celtic knots, a circular maze, a sacred heart, some chain, and 'nandor' written in farsi. Both hands have an arrow on the back, a cross lain over his fingers like knuckle dusters, and 'de la cruz' written across each knuckle letter by letter. Also visible is a line of red crosses around his throat, crossed arrows and a star of david over his chest, a thunderbird on his stomach, a calli house on his right side, and a celtic knot on his left side. /end ID
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mayullla · 7 months
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Title: A Cruel Punishment
Character(s): Viscount (Unnamed character/original work)
Summary: You were cast aside by your fiance, a prince who fell in love with another woman. You were called an evil woman and you thought you would be sent away yet instead you were given to another. Your hands trembled when you read the contract that you would wed a terrible man.
Tags/Warnings: male!yandere, fem!reader, viscount!yandere x fallen aristocrat!reader, both are adults, general yandere themes, manipulation (both physical and mental), power imbalance, forced marriage, corporal punishment, loss of control, womb tattoo that is not sexual, forced servitude, 4.7k words
Part 2 is here!
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This was your punishment.
You did try of course. You tried everything in your power not to have this happen… Yet no matter what you did you were treated like a villain in front of that girl. Tears in your eyes as you watch the man you have loved hold another woman with such care while looking at you in disdain and disgust like you were the devil. 
After misunderstandings and misunderstandings, your fiance has cast you aside for the girl who had become the talk of the aristocratic society. You were also spoken of, as the wicked one who lost her fiance to some countryside noble girl. The lady who was cruel and cunning. A bully towards those who could not speak up for themselves. A noble who had set up her own fall.
Yet that was never the case. You were nothing of that sort yet no one believed. When cautious eyes stayed away from you, not wanting to be caught in the waves or rumors. When those who cared for entertainment smiled at you wickedly, watching everything around you collapse. Those who didn't care turned their backs towards you walking away.
Maybe you should have tried harder… but it was too late. Kicked out of noble society, you awaited your punishment.
You thought you would be sent to a monastery. A punishment to banish the cruel women of nobility. Yet just before you could step foot towards that place, you were dragged back to where you were. 
They had no place for you. Food and water, none of that nor a place for you to sleep. For you, a far worse punishment awaited you. As you stared at the letter sent to you your knees fell to the floor. 
A marriage arrangement contract with the viscount. Cursive, beautiful, and elegant... it was terrifying.
There were many rumors surrounding him, he was someone who always smiled yet the more sharp ones could see the cunningness and hunger in his eyes. There were many rumors around him, that even while handsome many sound-minded women stayed away from him. For those ladies who did not, it was long before they suddenly disappeared, fell into madness or their family suddenly became bankrupt. 
There were rumors that circulated around the nobility that the viscount was dangerous, had a hold of the black market, and dabbled in dark magic. But there was no concrete proof, there was nothing. It was impossible to find information that the rumors were true and those who tried to unravel what was covered could only regret it.
The moment you read the contract that he would have you as his wife it was as if cold water was dumped onto you. Fear encased your heart as you wondered if this was your punishment. 
Those who have heard of this news wondered if you would even be alive after your marriage with that man. Some thought that you would not last even a month later found in a ditch somewhere body chopped into pieces, while organs were sold to the highest bidder.
You were scared as you were essentially dragged to his mansion, under the guise that you and him should get to know each other more before marriage which was in two months' time. Reaching the place and forced to sit down in the guest waiting room, your hands shook as you held your teacup to your lips, you could not focus on the maids bringing desserts. Seconds felt like hours till he finally showed, the same smile on his lips that felt nothing more than a mask. It was obvious that he was hiding something. 
He never tried to hide that smile, in fact, you have never seen another expression on his face other than that sly smile. Maybe already confident that no one would ever find those secrets.
You were cautious of him, having met him a few times at parties and balls you have always kept your guard up and alert around him, never once able to feel comfortable when he stared down at you like a predator watching its prey. You always tried to avoid him, and when you could not you could only sigh in relief when the conversation ended and the two of you separated.
Yet here you were.
"I hope you didn't wait long." He gently asked, taking a seat on the sofa in front of you. The servants had silently left the room after he had motioned them to go out (a flick of his hand) leaving only you and him alone. You shook your head telling him that it was fine that you didn't wait long which he looked as if he had brightened considerably. 
"Then please be comfortable. I do hope the tea is to your liking."
His sly smile never left his face.
It made it difficult to actually make yourself comfortable when you didn't know what he was actually thinking. The short small chat between you and him felt too long as he asked about your likes and dislikes, hobbies, and such. Drinking your tea, you were parched from all the talking and your nerves had somewhat calmed down but you tried your best to hide the tremble in your hand. 
"You must be sad that you have broken up with your fiance." Looking up you looked at the smiling face of the viscount from your tea. His elbow on his crossed knee while he rested his chin on his hand, "You have been his fiance ever since you were little kids. Why do I imagine it is still difficult to separate when you have been together for so long."
You froze at his words, the hurt in your heart that of what happened just a few days ago was still fresh from the pain. "I pitied you. Such a lovely lady, that looked like a rose wilting as others laughed at a beautiful thing. Why when I heard that they planned to send you to the monastery, I only thought it was unfortunate." He sipped his tea calmly as his eyes watched you, as your hands tightened around the teacup fear climbing up your body as you tried to lean away but were unable to because of the sofa.
"...I am sorry... what are you trying to say?" You didn't understand if he was trying to offend you or if he wanted to show his pity. 
You felt a wave of dizziness wash over you.
"Hmmm, for you my dear what I mean to say is that I found it tragic to send such a beautiful lady away." Tilting his head, his sharp eyes staring at you. You tried to concentrate on his words, yet you were struggling. "Then I thought that having you in my grasp would make for such a fine idea. You wouldn't have to go but instead be able to stay and I will get to keep you for myself. Of course, you would need much training before I would release you back into the noble society just like that."
Huh? You tried to listen, yet his words and face started to become a blur. Dizzy and tired you thought as you placed a hand on your head wondering what was the matter with you and if the stress from everything finally caught up to you. It was hard to understand his words, yet you could remember the mocking tone of it. It was getting harder to keep your eyes open.
"It seems that medicine is finally working. Don't worry dear I have made sure just to give you a tiny dose."
There was a sound of glass breaking, wondering what happened you tried to get up again yet were unable to when a hand placed itself on your cheek. The warmth of it was enough to get you to close your eyes. The last thing you heard was his voice.
"Such a cute little dove. Sleep love. When you wake up you will have no more rest. I will train you to become a fine lovely wife just for me and in the eyes of society."
After that darkness was all you could see, consuming all light.
Waking up, you had a major headache. Slowly moving as you push yourself up from the bed when you hear a door open and shut. "You are finally awake."
Opening your eyes, you looked around wondering why you were hearing a somewhat familiar voice when you realized where you were. In a dark room with no windows all except a lamp that lit up the room. There was almost no furniture except the bed that you lay on with expensive sheets and blankets. You suddenly moved alarmed by where you were when the clanging of chains tugged your leg preventing you from getting farther.
Putting force into your leg to pull the chain, you yelped when a sudden pain sprang on your bosom. Grabbing your stomach you looked down to see a crest. A beautiful yet erotic design was laid on the lower side of your stomach through the sheer nightclothes. “You are finally awake! You have slept for quite a while now… three days actually, but I had to make sure that you would not have any irreversible damage from the seal.
"Where... where am I?" You looked at him bewildered, fear and distrust shown in your eyes as you watched him walk closer to you.
"You are in the room you will stay for a little while till our wedding." You raised a brow at his words, surprised and in disbelief but he only chuckled. "My little future wife, my adorable pet, your surprised expression is just so cute. Even since a long time ago, since we met each other the first time I always had this fascination towards you." 
Bending his hips, you and him looked face to face at each other. There was a certain twinkle in his eyes, one that you often see in the past whenever he looked at you. "You see it was something like a love at first sight. While I never believed that at first, I realized that it was indeed true when I first laid eyes on you. Such a prim and proper little lady, trying her best to hide her struggles from the pressure of being the finance of a prince while smiling. Seeing you made me wonder what other expressions you have other than the ones that you show in public. I don't know why but I have a hard time getting you off my mind. And the more I thought about you the more I.. fell."
"Quite the love story is it not? However, you have already belonged to someone else, to that foolish and without a lick of sense or talent prince. I do not understand what you see in such a useless buffoon." Dry words of distaste made you flinch. "But it seems I must only do so little to get him out of your side. Why, he himself volunteered to get out of my sight."
You looked at him alarmed at his words when he suddenly grabbed your chin. Examining as if you were a product that he bought. "He is quite the lustful man, don't you think? Falling in love with a woman when all she did was sway her hips and fall in his arms. That woman is a seductress. Her eyes were very greedy for things that didn't belong to her. I have a distaste for such harlots, I prefer the more meek ones, the little mice or loyal dogs."
Placing your hand on his arm you attempted to get out of his hold. "Stay still dear, I have to check if they did anything to your love face dear. I wasn't able to really examine your face much when I was so busy placing that seal." You yelped when your body suddenly didn't listen when you tried to get away. Your own body started to inch closer to him and stayed still.
"It seems that the seal is working quite nicely don't you think?" His smile could not help but widen a little more as he watched your frantic eyes, asking what he had done to you. "Your little seal here is just to make sure you are properly going to follow with your training and not run away. I had it created just for you when I heard that your fiance wanted to break up with you."
"It is just a simple commanding seal, you are quite the doll but even so I prefer my lover to be well collared just in case she had any thoughts of leaving." Your eyes watered at his words, terror seeping into your veins at the implications.
“My beautiful dove, you belong only to me.”
Things went down from there, forced into his every whim you were forced to study and learn to be the perfect wife for the viscount. Whenever you made a mistake there was a punishment. You learned how to care for the mansion. Yet the more you looked the more your blood became cold.
He was a cruel man. No matter how much you begged the servants to let you out they would not. Instead, they would report your actions to their master which would result in you being punished by him. You felt nothing more than dirt when he hit your hands if not your calves with a rod, tears in your eyes as you were forced to listen to his cooing, words of love, speaking of pain as he was forced to punish his oh so sweet lovely dear who just never listened to him.
You didn't want him anywhere near you, but you stifled all your complaints when you watched his eyes become cold the moment you tried to take a step out of line. So you kept it to yourself as your legs in his commands stayed still, as you showed your hands so that he could smear medicine on where he hit. Wanting nothing more than to hide yourself when you were forced to help him move your skirt so that he could place that cooling medicine in your calves. You were ashamed and embarrassed yet you could not do anything. 
Nothing at all.
Yet the more you stayed in this nightmarish mansion the more open secrets you found.
"I heard that you have caused some trouble with the maids, you know they would be the ones serving you later when you marry me. You should be kinder to them." 
"What happened to them..." You asked, shivering as you pushed yourself further on the bed, wanting anything but to be near the man who was the cause of it.
There was a rumor actually going around one of many about the servants in the viscount's house. When a person enters the mansion as a servant or maid there is a chance you will never see them again, and even if you did they would become a whole different person.
The viscount must have done something, something to make sure that whenever they went out they looked normal to an extent yet at the same time would rather kill themselves than leak a single word about their master. Except for a few who told you about the food and baths no one really spoke unless spoken to. Yet even then there was always this lifelessness in their tone, dead.
They were unbothered by what their master was doing to you, not one reaction did they create when you begged them for help. They wore blindfolds, the viscount didn't care for them but it feels that it was his way of showing his care for you. (Or maybe he wanted to see the shock in your eyes the moment you realize what actually happened to them.) It was by mistake you took off the blindfold of the maid, as you held your breath at their dead, hollow eyes lacking life. There was nothing in those eyes as if there were no memories, no life, nothing. 
They were nothing more than living dead puppets.
"What did you do to those people..." You whispered, flinching when he took another step towards you. Tears were in your eyes as you watched him stop as if to think. You were scared, frightened of what he would do. Could do to you. You thought those were slave tattoos that were banned from the kingdom due to how they would cause painful physical harm to the person, how it was inhumane. Due to its nature, the king banned it a few generations ago. 
"How..."
"Pfft." You flinched at the viscount reaction, trying to hold his chuckle at the back of his hand as he looked away for a moment. After chuckles and coughs escaped his lips he looked back at you again, walking closer to you again. "My dear, your mind thinks of amazing situations. Even I know that slave seals are banned in the kingdom. Why would I risk myself for something like that? I would also be placing you in danger when you are going to become mine soon."
Not that you weren't already. You saw it in his eyes, that he looked at you as if you were his own property.
Taking a seat on the bed that you were chained to he looked at you tilting his head, his smile was mocking as if asking if you were really that dumb. "You are just so cute dear. Let me explain it so that my fiance would understand." Raising his hands he motioned you to come towards him.
You didn't move, still scared, shivering like a small mouse much to his annoyance.
You yelped when your chained leg was roughly grabbed and pulled toward him. You looked fearfully towards the viscount who was staring down at you, his smile gone just for a moment. He raised his hand again, and you could not help but close your eyes till a hand touched your face in a gentle manner, it felt nothing but nauseating "Come here dear, get up. Let your fiance comfort you from your anguish."
But you didn't move, holding your hands near to your chest as you looked at him with fear. You were scared, so scared at the thought that the viscount would make you the same as those lifeless servants. Yet you were suddenly forced up but an invisible thing holding your arm roughly pulled you towards the viscount who caught you in ease. 
"Wha-" "Oh, so eager." That mocking tone again, so close to anger but also amused.
You yelled again, looking at your arms as they moved to their own accord around his neck while your legs also moved by themselves placing you on Viscount's lap. "So eager and so cute... Did you want to jump into my arms that much?" you heard him whisper in your ear as your face heated up in mortification, yet it was obvious that you were shivering still in fear, unable to forget what you saw. 
A small sound escaped your mouth as your body flinched when he wrapped his arms around your waist holding you tightly. "You are shivering dear, were you that afraid? I am sorry love, I should have been the one to come instead of the servants but you need to be punished after what you have done yesterday." Another tiny sound escaped your lips when he started to pat your back, tears flowing down your eyes. From the outside point of view, you looked like nothing but a tearful lady crying in her lover's arms begging him to forgive her, while he was nothing but patient.
You were glad that you could not see his face, as your tears stained the shoulder of his shirt. Patting your back his arm went back to hugging you tightly as he placed a kiss on your shoulder. It brought a chill down your spine. "Those servants are like this because I had to be sure that they would never leak any dangerous information. Many had tried already, I had to be cautious dear. I knew you would be scared of them so I had them cover their eyes." 
He placed a kiss on your shoulder again this time a little nearer to your neck. "The slave seal is banned and I would never dream of using it, so I made one of my own. The kind that is similar to the slave tattoo but would never hurt the wearer, it just keeps them in a trace, a dreamlike state, and only listens to orders."
You wanted to push him away, yet your arms that hugged his neck were locked in place, as your leg tried to curl around his leg without your command. You knew that he wasn't telling everything, that there was more to it as you wonder about the seal right below your belly button.
Your breath hitched when you felt him place his thumb on the seal, as you froze in your spot. Watching your reaction he laughed again, a laugh that sounded so cruel to your ears as he adjusted your body to move closer to him than what was before. 
Warmth touched your neck, his lips touching your neck. Hugging your waist tightly, it was suffocating yet it made him excited, the obsessive love in his eyes so painfully obvious, "My love, I would never do that to you. Your lovely face devoid of any feelings would only hurt me more. To make you a mindless thoughtless servant, that I could never do to you. You just need a little training compared to them..."
"Look at me." Your head did not listen to you, you did not want to look at him. Yet you had no choice but to show your crying face to the man who made you like this. Forced to make eye contact, you saw his obsessed greedy smile as he looked at your face. His eyes swirled with a crazed delight. 
You hate it.
You unconsciously jumped when he touched the seal again, there was a static that ran down your spine when he touched it. A foreign feeling that you didn't feel when you touched the seal yourself. Confused, you looked at him, eye round and asking which only made him laugh even more, "You are so adorable." He whispered as he pulled you closer so that your chests were touching. "So adorable, and mine. Forever mine." He whispered, your arms still wrapped around his neck he continued to mumble those words over and over again. His embrace tighter and tighter making it harder to breathe. "I will train you to become a lovely lady, that any other men and woman would look upon you with envy, yet your thoughts would only be infested with me."
Your body moved without your consent again, hugging just as tight. You didn't want this. "So cute. So cute. God it is so fun to watch you. Your body is still shivering and tears are still in your eyes. You are so cute." He laughed as he continued to say the same thing over and over again. "And you will be all mine officially too. Soon dear, in a few months you will be mine but for now you need to stay here okay? You still didn't finish your punishment too for slapping your poor fiance."
You flinched as he looked at you, feeling an immense pressure that was pushing you down the smile calculative and mischievous, "If you kiss me I will forgive you dear." He told you tilting his head.
You want anything but that, yet when you tried to push him away your body did anything but that as your hands on his shoulder pulled him closer instead. 
This was your punishment.
Yet nothing changed even after that. Nothing at all when your eyes were forced to read the books that talked about a prim and proper lady.
Every day in your mind you thought that this was your punishment. That you were weak, that you didn't know. Those misunderstandings between you and the prince were caused because you didn't try enough. The Viscount fed you well, even when you didn't have an appetite you tried to eat because of fear, cause you were fearful of the servants who looked after you. You were dressed "well" and taken care of. 
However, rather than a human you were almost treated like a doll. The chain was always there on your foot rather than useful; it was a reminder that you were trapped here.
Morning you were forced to study, manners that you learned when you were young you were forced to learn again with the viscounts teaching. He was more strict than your previous teachers, forcing you to do the same sets of movements again and again, from how you eat and how you drink tea. He wanted all the mannerisms drilled into your head so that you would be perfect. To how you walk and hold a teacup. You whelped in pain when he whips you from the small mistakes you have made. Your calves burned in pain and so did the palm of your hands.
Dancing was hell, he found everything wrong with each step. If you weren't able to do it, the punishment was simple as your body was forced to do the same movements over and over and over again. Depending on how skilled or how bad you were you could only become better as you were forced to dance the same song for hours on end. Your body holding the pose of holding the viscount shoulder and hand as he went away telling you to be good and continue practicing telling you that he would come back when he finishes work.
When he came back, you were sweating with a feverish tired look to your face as your body forced you to continue moving to the steps of the dance. More often than not you would fall into the arms of the viscount much to his delight. Asking if you finally memorize each and every step. Sometimes you could not answer too tired to do so and sometimes he was forgiving, other times not so much. You yelped in pain when you heard the loud smack, even while carrying you in his arms he was strong enough to hold you and land a slap on your butt for not answering. You would answer as soon as possible after that, scared that he would hit you again. 
It seems that much as he loved perfection, he also adored how fragile and weak you were in his arms. This idea of you being only able to rely on him. As he kissed your feet after taking off your dance shoes, watching you with a crazed lust in his eyes. Unable to pull away when all your energy had been taken away, you could do nothing but close your eyes away from the viscount and his taunting love.
There was even more training after that, he made so that each step you took reminded you of him whether that be the stinging pain of your butt after you had made the mistake of unconsciously trying to avoid him, or thin and revealing the clothes he made you wore were.
Silks and satins, short and over your knees essentially underwear in your eyes when the world viewed the showing of ankles to be too seductive and immoral dresses were the most covered-up clothes you were allowed to wear in the mansion. You hated the feeling of lifeless eyes that the servants had watching you.
And if he was feeling rather sadistic, he would mockingly manipulate your body to play to his whims.
On the day of the marriage, you could not help but stare at yourself in the mirror. You don't remember how many days you were trapped in the Viscount mansion. You wondered if you were broken, broken to the point that you had no willpower to even make a peep at your sufferings. You have long given up, too afraid of something worse you choose to fall. You were too afraid to resist and for him, this was nothing more than amusement. A satisfaction that you were his.
You could not run away, not when he held power over you. Not when he could manipulate your actions and steps. Nothing belonged to you, your life was signed away long ago ever since he saw you.
You thought of yourself as a marionette yet to him he thought of you as his lovely bride.
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trans-xianxian · 2 years
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euogh a job I want called me back and left a voice mail saying they had "questions about my resume" but I have a job interview at 6 and thus I so so so deeply do nawt want to call them back right now but sighhh it's the responsible adult thing to do 😔
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