CPTSD sucks.

How is a member of a minority who suffers from childhood CPTSD, supposed to heal in a society that had an active hand in that chronic trauma? How is anyone able to heal when the verbal and emotional abuse from society continues and the government perpetuates it? Growing up I was told I was a pervert, a degenerate, how shameful I was, how selfish I was for needing to be myself, how my needs were imaginary, that I not only didn't have a right to medical care but that I didn't deserve it, that my parents and society hated me so much they wanted me dead, that I was a monster. Guess what? None of that messaging has changed! My bio mother still blames me for everything she did to me as a child and disowning me, and as far as I can tell, still wants me dead based on the last IM she sent me a few years ago. My sister thinks I'm a manipulative pervert as far as I know as she doesn't speak to me either (gods that hurts more than my mother wanting me dead for some reason) not since my father died and then only to tell me he died and has never introduced me to my niece and nephew, people continue to actively verbally and physically assault trans people, and the government is still trying to kill us in 20+ states thanks to right wing terrorism. How am I supposed to heal in this environment? Is it even possible? I am so tired of fighting for my right to simply exist and live. Just about every trans person I know has their primary goal as: to just survive, and just maybe, just maybe be happy all the while thinking happiness is just a pipe dream. But how is that possible in a society that actively wants you dead? How is it possible when abusing/killing LGBT+ kids is considered normal, fine, and deserved? CPS didn't help me growing up, hell no one ever called them because I deserved the treatment I got. Not even my psychologist who knew what was going on. Because no one thought it was abuse. Telling a child they are shameful, a monster, a sinner, a pervert, that you want them dead, neglecting their medical needs, all of that isn't considered abuse by our society if that child is LGBT+. Over 40% of homeless youth population (something that shouldn't even exist in the supposed richest country in the world, but I'll get into that sometime later) identify as LGBT, when LGBT people make up less than 10% of the general population. 1 out of every 2 trans kids who have unsupportive (i.e. abusive parents) considers suicide. One out of every Two! And that is a complete undercount given the survivor bias of that statistic. And none of it is getting better. It's getting worse. And the suckiest part?! it's the same play book the terrorist always use, whether it's about interracial marriage, LGB rights, or any other minority. Every bigoted statement the terrorists make about those of us in the trans community, are the same ones they made about LGB people, are the same ones they made about interracial marriage. Every single one. But for some bizarre reason people repeatedly buy into it. It's disgusting at best, terrifying at worst. And I'm tired of it, tired of trying to fight against it. Tired of trying to get people to see basic reason, to have basic compassion, empathy, and decency for eachother. Incidentally some of you might take exception to my calling the Far Right wing/Republican party terrorists. But let's look at the definition shall we: Someone who uses violence and intimidation against civilians, usually unlawfully, for political gain/motivation. And these people are terrorizing my community. They have called in bomb threats to schools and hospitals that work to help us survive, and end up traumatizing not only us, but everyone else in those facilities, adults and children alike. They make us scared to leave our homes and go to work. They make us feel like we need our passports and an escape bag, just in case we need to flee the country, and they kill us every single day. So yes. They are terrorists.

I read a quote today that vibes with me so well. There's no hate quite like Christian "love" -- J. Scope. It is the utmost irony that a religion that says it's all about love, espouses the most hate/intolerance in this country for people not like themselves. It is mind boggling to me. The people who are supposed to be the least judgemental, that are supposed to love thy neighbor, and treat others unto how you want to be treated are the ones that are none of those things. And there are a bunch of christians that say "not all christians" which is the same as "not all men". it doesn't matter, the loud ones, the ones everyone hears and sees are the ones espousing hate. All those other supposedly accepting religions were silent when I was growing up, and aren't all that loud now. And to anyone who has experienced hate from others: Silence = condoning that hate, it means you support it, because you allow it to flourish rather than stamping/drowning it out.

At the end of the day, after day, after day, I still don't know how to heal from this trauma when it continues to this day in the society that I live in. Is it any wonder that I continue to wish I was no longer here? That I'm tired of existing and just want to not be? That I don't want to exist anymore? And why is that considered abnormal? I mean it hurts like nothing I've experienced, but aside from that, why? I think it's a pretty reasonable feeling given everything I've been through. I won't act on it, because I know how much it will hurt my best friend in the world and her kids whom I think of as my own. I couldn't do that to them. But it doesn't make this feeling go away. Not when society wants me and my community all dead.

Jerry Falwell Sr was a homophobic televangelist whose endorsement helped Ronald Reagan (a divorced former Hollywood actor) beat Jimmy Carter (a Baptist Sunday school teacher) in the 1980 presidential contest and launch a conservative project that culminated in the demise of the constitutional right to abortion.

I know this is such a doomer kind of attitude but I genuinely cannot stand it when people go around talking about the ‘silent majority’ when it comes to Jew hatred. There’s two main problems I have with this statement

— Sure, these people might support Jews now, but it’s probably safe to say the majority of people in the world have deeply ingrained biases against Jews. Those biases are easily exploited, easily brought out, and easily radicalised into rabid hatred. See: large swaths of leftist spaces, who honestly seemed like sleeper agents with how fast they openly admitted raping Jews is a moral thing. There’s also the issue of a lot of these silent majority people not supporting Hamas or believing in the Aryan race or thinking that Jews have no culture and we’re just stealing it from everyone else, but still tolerating those ideas being held in other people— it shows that these people neither understand nor care about the gravity of these views, which then makes those precious biases much, much easier to show

and

— The entire point of the silent majority is that they are silent. Sure, they might chat with their Jewish friends about how bad things are, they might express sympathy in private, things like that. But when push comes to shove, when Jews are being actively murdered wide scale, they don’t show up. They leave us in the dirt. They watch quietly as the Gestappo drags their neighbours away. They look away politely as their Dhimmi shopkeeper is beaten in the street for walking on the wrong side of the pavement. They close their blinds when their friend is tied to the stake and burned alive

I know it’s comforting to think of this vague concept of the silent majority, but it’s not actually reality. I know it sucks feeling like you need to have your guard up all the time (and you don’t, just be careful), it’s going to suck a whole lot more if you put yourself into a false sense of security. The silent majority are not our friends. The silent majority are not there for us. The silent majority don’t care. We can’t just live in a nebulous idea of people who quietly tut to themselves whenever they see someone saying ‘glory to the resistance’ or ‘Jews are trying to taint the Aryan race’, we need to focus on the tangible reality, and the people who are actually present

I think this is also why I, and so many other Jews, absolutely love non-Jewish allies. There’s something so indescribably amazing to see people in this world that’s been so horrible to us standing up for us, listening to us, helping us. Allies go through a lot of shit from others because they care about us, I’ve seen it so much— they’ll get vicious hate for just associating with Jews. And they still do it. They still stick with us. Because they care, and it’s just so wonderful

Spread the love to non-Jewish allies, you are so amazing. And to the silent majority, I hope you can become the help that we desperately need

y'all need to get a grip. you blab all day about how much you hate bigots and hateful people and how evil it is to dehumanize anyone and then you turn around and say "kys" and "i think [x] should all just kill themselves" and other disgusting, violent and childish trash

so many people on here are just full of hatred and vitriol and turn into frenzied sharks anytime the target 'deserves it' and they think they can get away with it and not be called bad people. then they whine about how sad it is that we can't all just get along and if only all the evil people in the world would stop doing evil things wouldn't that be nicer

you're just as vicious, hypocritical and fanatically puritanical as the caricature you have made in your minds of the people you think you have nothing in common with. if you've ever told someone, ANYONE to kill themselves you're not advocates of justice, you're not artisans of peace, and you certainly don't have any moral high ground that would allow you to pass judgment on others

Caranthir

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Shoutout to trans Christians on this Easter Sunday and Transgender day of visibility. You are loved and cherished by God, who sees your true self and calls you by your true name.

I also want to send comfort to every trans person, religious or not, who has been hurt by religious transphobia. Hatred is not Godly, and you deserve so much better.

Thinking about human Laura, really hope nothing bad happens to her

So the demon is basically someone who was created an angel, who was created good, who chose to refuse God's task — the task that God was asking of him […] now, what's interesting, though, is that they're assigned a task; who a demon is, his personal identity —his very nature, his essence— is his assigned task. So when he refused his assigned task, it was a perfect act of self-hatred. So they hate themselves too. Which is why when I hear people sit here, saying they hate themselves, I'm like, "Don't do that, that's what demons do."

Father Chad Ripperger (What is a Demon?)

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Azaghal 🇫🇮 (black metal) left to right:

Thirteen: vocals

Narqath: guitars, bass, keyboards, clean vocals

Lima: drums

Far right guys will be like "I'm joining THIS ultraconservative church because they don't bow to the demands of man! They hate gay and trans people just like a good church should!" My dude, my guy, you are man, and you are demanding for religion to pander to your hatred.

Porter and the Ratgrinders lowkey give alt right pipeline

Some Thoughts™️

I keep seeing stuff about Greta Gerwig making a remake of the Narnia franchise; my opinions on the need for the remake aside, I keep seeing people in the comments complaining that she better not be casting black or trans people and that she better not make it a feminist story because it will “detract from the true meaning” (Christianity) and some explicitly saying it will “ruin a good Christian story” and I can’t help but think,,,,,,,,,,, if the inclusion of POC, of queer people, of strong female characters “ruins” your Good Christian Story About Good Christian People,,,,, then I think you Christianity fucking sucks

getting back into christianity im really sad that people just classify us as people who are incredibly sheltered and easily offended at the thought of anything else existing other than us. and i hate the fact that they’re not really wrong