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tinyavenuesailor · 1 year

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Crack Fic! Where Everyone thinks Merlin is the reasonable one.

Everyone loves Merlin and thinks he’s the sweetest person, who couldn’t hurt a fly. So, they’re all annoyed when they see how Arthur treats him. The King is constantly overloading his manservant with work, ordering him to do massive tasks and coming up with ridiculous excuses to keep Merlin from taking a break. So, the knights and others constantly try to find ways to pull Merlin away from Arthur’s side and give him a break but Arthur always finds a way to mess up their plans.

Gwen and the other maids sometimes try to help Merlin with his chores

Gwen: Arthur you can’t actually expect Merlin to clean the entire throne room by himself

Arthur: *shrugs* Yes. I’m hardly asking him much

Gwen: It usually takes five maids to thoroughly clean the throne room. It’s ridiculous to ask one person to do so much work and then, to place Lancelot as a guard to make sure none of us can help him.

Arthur: Lancelot wouldn’t have to guard anything if you all weren’t so ready to disobey my orders. I said Merlin will clean the throne room ALONE and that is final

Gwen: I never knew you could be such a cruel person and to Merlin of all people

*Gwen storms off*

Gwaine, Leon, Percival, Elyan and some of the other knights try to steal Merlin away to the tavern to relax

Gwaine: Come on Princess. I’m sure you can survive one night without Merlin

*Gwaine tries to pull Merlin to their side but Arthur grabs hold of Merlin and pulls him back*

Arthur: Need I remind you, Merlin is my manservant and doesn’t have time to play around. He still has very important duties to complete

Elyan: What could he possibly have to do at this time? Most servants have gone home for the day?

Arthur: Well Merlin is the King’s manservant as I keep reminding you and still have very important things to do

Gwaine: Like what?

Arthur: *pauses* For one, he needs to clean the mess he made in the closet

The knights: *trying to process the bullshit Arthur just told them*

Arthur: *crossing his arms, 100% serious, daring them to challenge him*

Merlin: It’s fine guys really, probably next time *pulling Arthur and himself back into Arthur’s chambers and locking the door*

Or when something terrible happens to Merlin like the time he got kidnapped and everyone went into full panic

Arthur: *staring hard at Lance* Merlin’s been kidnapped?

Elyan: They ambushed us out of nowhere and before we knew it they were off with him.

Leon: Don’t worry sire, I’ll gather a search party immediately to have him found.

Gwaine: We’ll make them sorry they ever thought to mess with our Merlin

Arthur: *holding up a finger and turning to Lance again* Merlin’s been kidnapped?

Lance: ..... That is the story

Gwaine: Princess, have you not been listening. We need to hurry every second counts.

Arthur: I heard, just wondering why he couldn’t have chosen a better day to get himself kidnapped

*Everyone gawks at Arthur in disbelief*

Basically, everyone thinks that Arthur doesn’t appreciate Merlin and that their cinnamon roll deserves better and formed a protection squad to help Merlin get the treatment he deserves.

Meanwhile in Reality....

Arthur knows about Merlin’s magic. He is fully aware of how powerful Merlin is and finally sees that his manservant isn’t an idiot. He’s just a bloody madman.

===In the throne room===

*Arthur and Merlin both staring at a dark purple swirling vortex on the floor*

Arthur: *takes a deep breath* Merlin, why is there a hole in my throne room?

Merlin: Well, it's not a hole. It’s a sort of gateway to the dark dimension.

Arthur: Oh, okay. Why is there a gateway to the dark dimension in my throne room?

Merlin: ..... I can fix it

Lancelot: Arthur, I heard you- *looks down at the menacing purple gateway on the floor and then back to Arthur and Merlin*

Lancelot: Should I go guard the door?

===After Gwaine, Elyan and Percival tried to take Merlin out for drinks===

Merlin: You know we both could use a break. I am a bit hungry. Been a while since I had a drink too

Arthur: Well maybe, we can join them after you explain why my Uncle is tied up in my closet

*Arthur opens his closet doors revealing a tied-up and gagged Agravaine making muffled noise*

Merlin: You told me to get evidence that he was working with Morgana

Arthur: And your solution to that was to kidnap him?

Merlin: What better way to hear it than from the man himself?

Arthur: What’s going to happen when people realize he’s missing

Merlin: Don’t worry, one memory wipe spell and he’ll be back tomorrow in his chambers like nothing ever happened

Arthur: You told me those spells were dangerous

Merlin: *laughs* Well, yeah, I’m not using it on us

Agravaine: *making muffled and panicked pleads to Arthur*

Lancelot: Sorry, Arthur, Gaius told me that Merlin needed m- *sees a tied-up Agravaine*

Lancelot: *nods* I’ll go stand guard

=== Arthur, the first to find Merlin after his “kidnapping” ===

Arthur: *folds his arms and looks behind his manservant to see a trail of bodies* Kidnapped?

Merlin: Well they did try to kidnap me. I just decided not to resist.

Arthur: *sighs* Is everyone dead?

Merlin: I was supposed to leave someone alive?

Arthur: *rolls his eyes* Come before I have to explain how my “innocent”, “weak” manservant took out a group of mercenaries.

Lancelot: *already standing guard*

#merlin bbc #merthur #merlin #Arthur Pendragon #chaotic merlin #arthur knows #and he's the reasonable one #featuring doesn't ask questions but always completes the mission lancelot #arthur having to listen to someone complain that he needs to be more considerate of Merlin for the fourth time that week #While he watches Merlin and Lancelot in the background carry around a bag the size of a human body #Arthur: Sorry to interrupt you but I suddenly need to go check on my uncle to check if he's still breathing

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sherlockruiningmylife · 9 months

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I want more chaotic, irritating, casual magic from merlin.

Like someone points a sword at him and he just flashes his eyes and the sword has been turned to an angry snake. When they give him a baffled look he shrugs and walks away.

Or someone is trying to put poison into Arthur's drink but when they go to pour it, a steam of salt comes out of the bottle. Merlin looks over their shoulder and says, "something tells me that won't taste very good". The person runs away when Merlin flashes his eyes.

Maybe when he's cornered in a cave, he'll just amplify all the sounds, so a mouse squeaks and it sounds like a great beast. The men who cornered merlin look around and then flee when they hear it again. Merlin smiles and bends down to pick up the little mouse as it scurries by. He gives it a small piece of bread in thanks.

#merlin #bbc merlin #merthur #emrys #chaotic merlin #bamf!merlin #merlin fanfic idea

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teabunnee · 2 months

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What if Merlin just gave Hammie a gun? (No ship stuff just chaos and silliness)

Well I do believe that is incredibly in character for Merlin to get a gun then give it to Hammie. But on one hand, I'm not sure if Hammie would use the gun as opposed to the good old wizard classic Fireball. If she runs out of magic maybe she'll whip out the gun and then the enemies will have to reassess themselves a little because now they are fighting a magic hamster who has a gun, which also gives her time to shoot.

On the other hand, I can imagine Hammie trying to reconfigure the gun to cast more fireball, which will probably create more problems than they solve.

#Mirael does not use guns #her hands are weapons by themselves #Vala would probably be delighted to teach Hammie how to use one though.#afk journey #give hammie a gun #hammie #silly #tearequest #new strategy: make the enemy rethink their life choices #hamster with a gun #chaotic merlin

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wishiwasadruid · 2 years

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Arthur : Something tells me Merlin 's going to be a bit more unhinged today...

Merlin , holding a lit match and a bag of cheetos: Leave me be, Gaius isn't home to stop me, I'm going feral.

#merlin #merlin bbc #merlin and arthur #chaotic merlin #merlin and gaius #incorrect quotes #merlin incorrect quotes #bbc merlin #merthur #arthur pendragon #bbc merthur #incorrect merlin quotes

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lemon-chair · 1 year

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#merlin as ducks #merlin in 2023 #merlin fanart #duck king arthur #or #prince arthur #but I personally like him to be king #rip #merlin #bastard merlin #cheeky merlin #chaotic merlin

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that-nerd-who-writes-fanfiction · 6 days

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Merlin: well, if I was Emrys

Merlin: AND I'M NOT-

Morgana: *suspiciously and reluctantly crosses out Merlin’s name on the list of possible Emrys suspects*

#bbc merlin #merlin #merlin emrys #morgana #morgana pendragon #good morgana #incorrect merlin quotes #merlin bbc #chaotic besties #i’m bad at tagging

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adhd-merlin · 11 months

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i know i said gwaine wins the best character introduction but actually gaius's is pretty great too. man falls from a balcony, starts shouting at the boy who saved his life, accuses him of lying, reveals he has no clue what day of the week it is — all in the space of one (1) minute. incredible

#pure chaotic energy #on both sides. i love it #i also love the unnecessary aggressiveness #“I DONT HAVE MY GLASSES” like alright gaius chill #merlin and gaius #merlin

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pandalikeelf · 11 months

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s2 merthur + physical touch || [part 1]

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smolbeanmerlin · 9 months

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#they are so chaotic #and I love them for it #merthur #merlin text posts #memes #merlin memes #merlin #bbc merlin #merlin x arthur

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1asbrightasthestars3 · 22 hours

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They will either be best friends or fight to the death. (They're both immortal)

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theroundbartable · 2 months

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Arthur is out with a couple coworkers whom he isn't out to. They keep encouraging him to flirt with random girls, so eventually he does due to peer pressure.

The moment he does, Merlin steps in and rants him into a pulp for harrassing those girls (who happens to be one of Merlin's friends.)

(It's the hackling from the background that ticked Merlin off, Arthur barely said anything.) Arthur's coworkers fight the fight for him but Arthur himself is more than intrigued by Merlin's courage.

After that, Arthur visits the bar more often. But he doesn't get to talk to him because Merlin doesn't like him and ignores him. At some point, Arthur becomes desperate and asks one of his girl friends to assist him to get Merlin to talk to him... By staging that he's harrassing them (they are in on it) and Merlin feels the need to step in... Time and time again until Arthur is kicked out from the bar for life.

When the bartender tells Arthur that he has to leave, Arthur's desperation grows even worse and he begs to be allowed to leave one last message. He writes it on a napkin and tells him to give it to Merlin.

"sorry for being a pratt. You're cute and I didn't know how else to talk to you!

Here is my number: xxxx-xxxx"

Naturally, Merlin thinks it's either a prank or that Arthur handed it to the wrong person, so he texts Arthur pretending to be Elena, the last girl arthur "harrassed". Btw, all Arthur's "victims" somehow ended up befriending Merlin and encouraging Arthur to keep trying because Merlin is single and his only flaw is that he doesn't listen when someone tries to explain to him that it was all a scheme.

Elena (Merlin): you gave me your number, are you serious?! You got kicked out for harrassing me!

Arthur: sorry, Who is this?

Elena (Merlin): this is Elena, the blond girl you attacked?!?! You do that often?!

Arthur: you have a new number? Jesus, Elena, I almost had a heart attack. Do you know if Merlin got my number yet?

Elena (Merlin): ???

Arthur: and why are you texting me like that?! Is he watching? Am I supposed to write something?

Elena (Merlin): I have this number from the napkin the barkeeper gave me

Arthur: That doesn't make sense, Elena. I have your number saved! I've known you since kindergarten! Why would you say that?!

Merlin: So... You MEANT to send it to me? This isn't Elena, btw, this is Merlin. What do you mean, you've known her since Kindergarten?!

Merlin: ...

Merlin: hey, why aren't you answering?!

Arthur: hey

Merlin: what?! The hell?! Why would you give the barkeeper your number to give to me? And why do you know Elena?!

Arthur (Morgana): Hello, this is Arthur's sister, my name is Morgana. My dear brother is currently panicking because he thinks you're cute and he would like to date you. But he chickened out because you actually texted him and that's why I had to take over.

Merlin: yeah... Right

Arthur (Morgana) it's true though. He asked some of his friends to help him get a rise out of you. He's truly pathetic, but he showed me a picture, so I get it. Elena and Mithian are just some of them. You can ask them, too.

Merlin: wait... What?!

Arthur (Arthur): I can't believe she told you that

Merlin: you

Merlin: what

Merlin: is this a prank

Arthur: can't you just reject me already, I'm dying over here.

Merlin: no fucking way.

Merlin: If you're actually some sort of decent person, no way I'm missing out. You're hot

Arthur (Morgana): this is Morgana again. Arthur is panicking again. Saturday 2pm?

Merlin: sounds good to me.

Merlin: I'm flattered... Haha

Arthur (Morgana): you should be. I've never seen him so excited. You're gonna have an easy game.

Arthur (Morgana): okay, I gotta go, he just passed out.

Merlin: oh... Okay. Thank you?!

#bbc merlin #merlin #merthur #merlin bbc #arthur #concept #chaotic #dunno #i kinda thought it was cute

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nimrism · 1 year

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gwaine: is anyone here actually straight?

arthur: *raises his hand*

merlin: *puts his hand back down*

#merlin #merlin incorrect quotes #they should be called CORRECT quotes cause this actually happened before my very eyes #merthur #merlin x arthur #chaotic boyfriends #incorrect quotes

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wishiwasadruid · 1 year

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Merlin: Hey Lance! Wanna commit treason with me?

Lancelot: Merlin, what the hell?

Merlin: Wait, sorry, my bad.

Merlin: [whispering] wanna commit treason with me?

Lancelot: [whispering back] yeah of course :)

#merlin #chaotic lawful and Chaotic disaster on their way to commit high treason #bbc merlin #incorrect quotes #merlin incorrect quotes #merlin bbc #lancelot du lac #merlin and lancelot #sir lancelot

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kirbsto · 1 year

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Obligatory thruple post

#they mean the world to me #ppl need to stop leaving Gwen out of their polycule fr #Merlin is the chaotic pansexual with no impulse control Arthur is just as bad but yells at him anyways despite being worse and #Gwen has them both on child leashes while also goading them on bc she thinks it’s funny #Merlin and gwen like to jump scare arthur bc he’s so serious it’s borderline comedic #arthur and gwen dog pile Merlin bc he simply never sleeps and it’s annoying #Arthur and Merlin do the “guess who’ thing to Gwen every single time they see her and it’s more obnoxious than endearing #let them be annoying together i mean it 🤬#bbc merlin #Merlin #merlin fanart #murther #arwen #merwenthur #???#is that the ship name???#oh well #my art

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that-nerd-who-writes-fanfiction · 7 days

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Merlin: Uther won’t blame the magic on us.

Gwen: Are you kidding? Uther blames all magic on us. Uther blames magic we didn’t even do on us!

#bbc merlin #incorrect merlin quotes #merlin #merlin emrys #guinevere #merlin bbc #merlin incorrect quotes #merlin and gwen #mergwen #or not idk #platonic mergwen #chaotic besties #criminal besties #incorrect quotes #i’m bad at tagging

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vi-visected · 1 year

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merlin, agitatedly pacing and gesturing angrily: how am i supposed to navigate my awful confusing ALREADY VERY DIFFICULT quest to protect arthur on his journey to become king when i’m constantly at risk of being found out by uther and his hypocritical tyrannical crusade to purge magic from camelot!

kilgharrah, in a hawaiian shirt, sipping a margarita: have you considered killing him?

#bbc merlin #merlin #merlin emrys #kilgharrah #arthur pendragon #uther pendragon #that lizard really did his damnedest to drive merlin to murder #bestie your chaotic neutral is too neutral i need you to be a little more unhinged

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