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autisticblueteam · 30 days

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Appears from the ether again, after months of only being present enough to fill my queue up, with some WIP snippets from the gen:LOCK re-write I mentioned before...

And also finally adressing these tags lmao, sorry @thesouppond I realise these are like 3 months old.

#FUCK IM JUST SEEING THIS NOW???#FUCK YEAH 2024 SEASON OF EVERYONE GETS TO REWRITE GENLOCK CAUSE FUCK S2#Ahem anyway hi genlock moot :)))#I love your writing btw! Ive read your existing GL fics theyre great!#at this point if someone can give me a GL fic i havent already met I will forever be indebted to you i am DYING for GL content

We're really out here trying our best to do better by GL than HBO did huh!! I've been loving Reloaded, it was so nice to see someone else pop up in the gL tag after it was comparatively dead for so long. I've been working on my re-write since just after s2 came out and it was lonely in there for a while there lmao.

So I'm glad you enjoyed the couple of fics I've already done! I'm re-using parts of one of them for the actual re-write since I'm going for the 'keep the basic bones of s2 but aim to fix the execution into something less shit/re-work the worst bits' and I didn't want to write that first nemesis fight over again from total scratch lmao...

I want to finish writing all of the re-write before I post it in full, but that does mean it's taking forever whoops.

I'm still not past the introduction of Sinclair as his portion is so involved and I keep getting distracted by other projects/hobbies, but I did finally get to a point where my take on Sinclair is actually fun to write! I'm keeping his boyfriend because I did at least like that Sinclair was made canonically queer and they're actually cute when I'm just doing my own thing.

So since I feel like posting some WIP bits, here's my favourite Chris/Sinclair stuff I've done so far.

“YEAH! Take that you fucked up tin can!” Sinclair winced. The shout was like an ice pick being driven into his skull, but it was also what finally drove him to lift his head. There ahead of him, wielding a large piece of debris in one hand, was a heavyset Asian man dressed in torn clothes and covered in grime. He reared back, and for a split second Sinclair thought that projectile was for him, until he heard an impact, and the last of the humming died. The man brushed off his hands, pride written on every feature, and in that moment he was the most beautiful thing Sinclair had ever seen. “Coast’s clear!” the stranger called behind him. There was movement, but Sinclair didn’t care to look, his attention caught by the man’s approach. “And we’ve got a live one.” Sinclair’s throat was so dry he broke down coughing twice, in the time it took the stranger to kneel in front of him. “I-I’m not Union. I-I know— with the uniform, and the—” Another violent burst of coughing cut him off. The stranger handed him a canteen and a crooked smile. “Yeah, no shit. You’ve got way too much emotion on your face to be even a defector,” he said, and if Sinclair wasn’t so busy chugging the offered water, he might have mustered a laugh. “That, plus, the lack of helmet, the collapsing, and the drone getting ready to turn you into a novelty cheese grater kinda gave it away.” “Christ, I could kiss you right now,” Sinclair blurted and then regretted in quick succession. Fuck. He’d been in near solitary too long, his filter had worn away to nothing and he was making a damn fool of himself in front of the first sane people he’d seen in weeks. Except the stranger just… laughed, good-naturedly. “Close, the name’s Chris, not Christ. And I’d say buy me dinner first, but it’s a bit hard out here.”

AND then a little later...

“What about the refugee railroads?” Chris lowered his beer bottle and wiped his mouth. “Too far.” “Vanguard safe crossings?” “Too far.” “The— fucking Canadian border?” Chris laughed, “Too far. Further than either of the other things. Jesus, dude. You sure you haven’t got a concussion?” “Mostly,” Sinclair said, rubbing his face with his intact hand. “I just— you’re going to die if you stay here. A drone only has to get lucky once.” “And if we go deeper in, we’ll only die faster,” Chris said with a simple shrug. “We already have to pack up and move every few weeks when the line moves. And every time, the Polity border gets a little bit further away. Believe me, man, I want nothing more than to get outta here, but it’s just not happening.” “What if I helped?” The offer fell out before he’d consciously decided to make it, but Sinclair stood by it. Even when Chris looked at him dubiously. “No offence, dude, but you’re just one guy. And two days ago you could barely stand.” “And now I’m fine,” Sinclair insisted. “I’m a soldier. I was decorated for valour after I got my squad out of a run-in with the Union that should’ve killed us all. I was the only one who could even still hold a gun. I swear, I could get you somewhere safe. Are you really telling me you’d rather keep sitting around waiting to die than take a risk?” Chris’s brow furrowed, and he didn’t answer immediately, taking another swig from his scratched up bottle of beer. Sinclair sighed. “Look. I need to get to a Vanguard base one way or another. I don’t want to leave you guys behind if I don’t have to. I owe you my life. And maybe dinner.” Chris almost choked on his drink. “Wow,” he laughed, clearing his throat, “you sure pick your moments, huh?” Sinclair shrugged. “Figure if you’re not actually into it I’ll just blame the concussion.” “That you don’t have.” “Exactly.” Chris rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. “Smooth. Smooth operator. Alright, alright, fine, we’ll talk to the others in the morning. It might be a tougher sell when they’re not the ones getting dinner with a hot soldier out of it, but hey, guess we’ll see.” “Are you looking past the just-got-done-being-tortured chic, here, or is that part of the charm?” “Are you kidding? There’s a whole genre focused on how hot soldier guys look after they’ve been through hell.” “Not sure that’s the intended takeaway of action movies.” “Well,” Chris shrugged, starting to pick at a can of food, “it was definitely my takeaway.” Sinclair laughed. Honest-to-god laughed, in a way he was surprised he was even capable of after the last few weeks. The normality of the moment was like a balm on all the aching parts of him, mental and physical alike. For a moment he could almost forget that the reason he looked like shit was because he’d just escaped the worst experience of his life. For a moment it felt like the fight was over.

Now I just have to actually get through the remainder of my Sinclair set-up and then I'll be only one chapter away from finishing the first half of the fic... so close and yet so far lmao.

#blue is a writer #fic: the only me is me #gen:lock #each part is meant to be like a single season. so part 1 is like a new season 2 and part 2 is like a season 3 #and if i ever actually finish this. i might plan out a 'season 4'#the ending i have planned sets me up for it #i have grand ambitions and so little ability to sit down and just get it done LMAO

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astriodent · 1 month

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holy fuck your cool

genuinely have no idea how you argued with that "transnazi" freak and somehow managed to retain your sanity. they really seem like one of the most insufferable people someone could ever meet. they literally referred to non-human animals as PEOPLE. this does definitely raise the question of the ethics of zoos and pets because that'd mean it's no different from fucking humanzoos and slavery. which is the most crazy ass take ive ever seen. like the whole "nonhuman animals are people" thing would be so so so funny if it wasn't so concerning cause this person seems so hellbent on genuinely trying to justify rape.

and also trying to justify taking sexual advantage of disabled people and acting like you're the crazy one for saying that just because someone an adult doesn't mean they automatically consent to sexual abuse caused by unhealthy power dynamics and grooming.

im lowkey concerned for that person because the only reason i can see someone going to such an extent to justify sexual abuse is if they're being groomed by abusers to think it's normal. either that or they are the abuser and are trying to groom other victims into a weird stockholm syndrome like state. or trying to justify the harm they cause others. but im gonna believe in the best and assume that they're the victim here because believing the worst of every situation would drive me insane.

they are not the only person i've argued with that was like...That. so while i still get pissed by it i am pretty used to it

they have literally said that if you're a meat eater then you should also support animal rape and if you don't then you're a hypocrite. because yes those are absolutely the same thing /sar

someone in their asks said i'm ableist because i acknowledge the fact that some adults literally cannot consent if they have the same logic and reasoning as children. some of those mfs will call me the craziest shit for...caring about people

they have most likely been groomed and/or are being groomed as they are still a minor and iirc they have said they "consented" to adults when they were younger plus... literally everything about them. i don't think they're fully aware of the harm they're advocating for and i hope they realize when they're older

#csa mention tw #tw csa mention #csa tw #tw csa

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woomycritiques543 · 1 year

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Viv made a tweet about the non-canon HH accounts and how some theories made were making her uncomfortable. Based on the comments, it seems to be about Vox x Val. I feel the show is going to portray them in a similar manner to Stolitz, mostly for fanservice. They’ll be seen as a toxic relationship rather than showing the nuance of an abusive one. That way, Viv can sell couple merch of them without presenting them in a bad light.

TW: Mentions of R/PE, Mental Health issues.

I checked to see what you are talking about and-

Oh no... (It's the "sad pills" thing all over again but it's now within the fanon. So even the fanon here is absulotely awful and the creator using it to fetishize the ab^se within the canon makes this entire situation even worse!) I guess being in a horrible coersion relationship and the current state of it (Stolas and Blitz) should be represented as "love" to Vivienne apparently.... 💀 This also proving that again- Stella was only created as a way to somehow morally "justify" Stolas and Blitz being together with a "but his wife was a meanie uwu and wants to kill Stolas- just because! So pwease buy our merch where we make them harming and sa'ing each other look cute! 🥺". it'd be one thing if she specified whether she ships the canon version or not, but she keeps relating these things to the canon, uses the fanon to further fetishize the canon instead of letting it exist by itself, make the merch of the canon look "sexy/cute!" and all sorts of terrible things that is hard to even describe in words it's that awful.

Everything about this makes me grateful that Dragon Prince exists and that our only gay representation in the world isnt... this. (CONTEXT: Ive been being constantly attacked on Twitter by DaniDraws stans telling me to "delete your channel!" and keep defending Stolas and Blitz in the show (Not the fanon ship- the show! We shouldn't sacrifice our morality just to force a crack ship that we like to be accepted as canon regardless of the toxicity within the canon itself. Some ships should be crack and stay as crack.) and to this day are still harassing my Twitter like as if ive just murdered someone or something. They're really acting like not liking a couple in a show full of fictional characters is the "worst" thing I could ever do, it's actually fucking pathetic.)

Another Tweet: Another vent post, in a row! Please woman- for the love of god please give yourself a break both you and your employees very much need it. Care for yourself, please, for the love of god! So it's not even just the awful takes that are concerning for others, it's Vivziepop being concerning based on her behavior towards herself, honestly- Both how she treats the show and how she projects her own flaws with accountability onto the characters, how she treats Spindlehorse, how she treats herself and how fast that she's doing all these projects, all of it. I hope that Viv receives thearpy soon, the fact that she's said that she doesn't have it yet makes me so sad and I do hope the best for her mental health.

It's one thing for occasionally self aware humor, its another thing to self depricate and continue to very things that are causing you to constantly be stressed in the first place. Viveinne, please get help, im begging you at this point, for the sake of both yourself and the people around you. This isnt even only abou the parasocial fandom you've created from your lack of setting boundries but for your studio and many others. Please get help, im begging you.

As for the tweet itself-

This pretty much confirms that they want us to see the "stolas and blitz" ones as canon despite the fact that it's just Stolas and Blitz either ab^sing each other or having "honey moon" (the phase where a ab^sive relationship seems "healthy" before ab^se occurs again.) phases over and over. But this has no mention of Vox and Val so I honestly have no idea what you're saying anon. Either way, going to Vivziepop's twitter was a mess and a half and I honestly need to stop using Twitter it's becoming a bad habit tbh. Either way- Vivziepop needs to take a break from Hazbin and get help. She's hurting so many people, and even herself because of how she prioritizes the industry over her own health. I actually like these shows too, but I would rather wait and know that the creator isn't rushing things and harming herself so much- Than to see multiple episodes be rushed out a year and to slowly watch Vivziepop harm her own mental health more and more, see her venting about it and full on having break downs like she did two months ago. I cant even do a thing about it since I dont know her personally. I cant call her, I cant send her resources... I can't do much and it upsets me to no end so im going to have to just pray and wait...

#hazbin hotel #helluva boss #helluva critical #lord please help this woman im afraid I cant do as much as I wish I could and I need to stop going to these terrible spaces for the sake of #my own health as well.#I pray for her herself her freinds and her employees to get the help they need. Please help these people. /vent #Twitter is just a awful place I really need to stop interacting there /srs

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kuroimarzipan · 1 year

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To return the ask I was unable to answer for you: I'd love to hear your Kingmaker thoughts! Or Wrath, if you'd prefer.

HELP I MISCLICKED BEFORE I WROTE ANYTHING AND HAD TO EDIT THE POST LMFAO anyway im gonna answer for kingmaker only tonight cause i gotta go to bed and i spent too long writing shit out but i might reblog this and add answers for wotr on after work tomorrow lol

Favorite Male Character okay so i could be normal about this. i could. or i could let everyone here know that i mentally put together multiple AUs where esteem got together with dragn after witnessing like three lines of dialogue. yea the smith guy. the one without a portrait even.

BUT if i had to be more normal about it then its gotta be ekun. i just want that guy to be happy and i really enjoy how weirdly well he gets along with esteem. also he's like. the most ruthless good character ive seen in a while which i really find interesting. makes a great minister too. he just has this reassuring presence in your party like hes got your back you dont have to worry. also: dogy :^)

Favorite Female Character

okay so i went into this game assuming kanerah would be my fave and i was like. ready to finally not have to headcanon a romance and shit. and then this bitch named valerie came along. and oh my god she's such a piece of work. so principled. so hypocritical. so abrasive and easy to rile up. she's loyal because she's decided to be loyal. she turns on you for wanting to kill a guy early in act 2 and then turns BACK on him because he hits on her. she doesnt even realise shes gay. ever since she killed fredero because esteem pushed her to do it ive been thinking about it. ive not read the dialogue for her canon straight romance or whatever because honestly i dont care whatever the fuck im doing to her in my head is way more interesting to me. ive done all the stuff for her hellknight ending and im very excited heehee.

Least Favorite Character

kingmaker is interesting in that i had a really poor first impression of a LOT of the companions, but after having gotten to know them, i... honestly dont rlly hate any of them?? there's still a few companions that end up benchwarming for me bc i just like others more, but its really not been like wotr where the party lineup was so polarising for me lmao

WAIT I JUST REMEMBERED JHOD. fuck that guy. i dont even have a particular actually good reason either. i just think his vibes are rancid

Favorite Ship

specifically that moment when hegend drew his weapon and went to attack valerie and the moment combat initiated esteem hit him with the chains of light which was followed by a maximised empowered magma blast from kanerah which one shot him. that felt good

aside from that i kinda wanna see amiri and nilak reconcile at some point??

Favorite Friendship

i like that ekun the complete and utter loner was the person that taught esteem how to actually have friends instead of just manipulating people into appreciating her. i like to think he figured that out by the time his last quest rolled around. they have this kinda silent trust.

Favorite Quote

this was such a good moment to me specifically because of the circumstances of esteem having been chased out of its home because of what it is and then having tartuk tell it that it would never understand?? it was COLD AS ICE telling him that before dealing the killing blow and taking his crown. defining moments tbh

Worst Character Death (if any)

i have a feeling this is yet to come for me 🙃

This made me so happy you have no idea Moment

maybe its silly but thee loyalty these two have hehehe

Saddest Moment

TBH another thing i think is yet to come for me.... i know that last act is gonna hit hard

Favorite Location

the swamp witch's hut... i actually really love the old beldame and all the lil storylines going on in that map so so much it rlly helped me solidify a bunch of important things abt esteem's backstory too lol

#ask meme #replies #i wanted to answer for wotr as well but i have work tomorrow :^(#esteem #long post #pfkm

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asahicore · 10 months

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haha, I'm sorry for stressing you out.

I love extraordinary you too. I ended up still having some unanswered questions, but overall I enjoyed it so much. especially because haru is such a pretty boy. 🤧

omg, that is so exciting!! actually doom at your service is in my top 5, with strong woman do bong soon, melting me softly, descendants of the sun and maybe vagabond. some honorable mentions are hometown cha-cha-cha, may I help you, love in the moonlight and crash course in romance. now I see what I put you through, I'm so sorry.

then, what are some kdramas that you disliked. I've noticed a pattern in mine: those before 2010. I mean, I don't dislike them all (coffee prince is one that I enjoyed a lot), but for example full house or secret garden had me wanting to punch a wall most of the time.

— ☕️!

srsly why is it so stressful to choose fav dramas 😭 its like with movies or songs, theres too many to choose from!!

putting a read more bc i talked so much bahahha

and right omg i watched extraordinary you at the beginning of lockdown and i fell in love with haru/rowoon so bad that i started stanning sf9 after that, i was such a big fan of them that whole year hahahaha, and yeah it does have some plot holes but honestly the romance was so cute i didnt even mind

gosh we've seen such different dramas hahaha i havent seen any in your top 5! ofc ive heard about strong woman though, and thats also on my list. crash course in romance was so fun i rmb watching it as it came out and i really loved their romance but god the murder mystery side plot is not for me 😭 i dont usually mind a mix of genres but romance with thriller isnt my thing i guess, i like it better when they're seperate. and love in the moonlight omg i watched it ages ago, and actually i dont rmb anything about it so ig that tells you its def not one of my favs 😭 i usually love historical dramas but i think the female lead disguised as eunuch trope is not for me either !

and omg, i havent ever watched a drama from before 2010 actually, bc ive heard that theyre such a product of their time and have like really sexist/fatphobic etc undertones with like toxic male leads and plot lines that just drag on and on bahaha, coffee prince is such a classic though i should watch it!!

for me its pretty rare that i dont like a kdrama cause if im not into it then i'll just drop it and forget about it, but one that i did watch and hated til the end was cheese in the trap because the male lead in insaaaaaane literally a psychopath and the female lead (park goeun bless her heart) is so wishy-washy, worst case of second lead syndrome i ever got in my life!! im going through my watched kdramas, and a lot that ive seen i remember enjoying as i watched but they just didnt stick with me afterwards. i rmb being super frustrated with love alarm, nevertheless (but that one wins back points for incredible casting/side stories/overall vibes lol, im actually considering rewatching...) and itaewon class! then some that i fully stopped watching are love in contract, she would never know, arthdal chronicles, detectives of seonam girls' high school and hotel del luna. i also stopped watching goblin and tale of the nine-tailed around ep 10 but i do plan on picking them back up at some point lol

#literally ive watched so many dramas where i had high expectations cause i heard sm about it #and while yes they were good they never became my absolute faves #like youth of may fight for my way or weightlifting fairy #but thats okay too !#answered #☕️! anon #now i need to catch up on yesterdays new eps hahah

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rv8yx0 · 11 months

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listen here u bitch, i don’t think u understand the love n respect i hold for cesar. and before u go all insecure, psychotic bitch on him, its not in the sense ur gonna be quick to assume. hes my best fucking friend n it boils my blood to see n hear how u drain him tf out. i watched him grow n geek over u months before u got together, to now overthink n stress over ur stupid shit. ion know shit abt ur relationship besides the things ive seen. i liked u for him after hearing the way he spoke abt u, he fell hard n his dumbass still is. its not fucking fair the way u walk over him. i stayed up late at night hearing him blame himself for ur issues, i tried knocking some sense into him but after the shit ur pulling, i realize i need to knock some fucking sense to u. take this as a threat or not idagf, stop mentally hurting my best friend. u may be his bitch now but u dont realize that imma be the girl in the first row at his wedding day watching him marry his true love thats not gonna be u, and i’ll be cheering him on. imma be there for him in a sense u wont ever, why ? bc im not insecure controlling bitch like u n hes gonna see that, ill make him see. i am not gonna standby watch the most genuine caring guy get his heart shattered n his mental scarred by a bitch who’s unwilling to open herself fully to trust n love. u dont love him. face it, u like the idea of being w him n being able to control him. i defended ur name without knowing u for the sake of saving the shit show of relationship u “have”. so imma tell u this aracely, u fucked w the wrong girl best friend. id drown in voids for that dipshit, i carried him to sanity when he lost hope, and ill carry him again now that ur his main cause. i get it, girl best friends can seem like a threat, i have not given u any reason to dislike me nor not trust cesar w me. im not a whore thats gonna fuck him behind ur back. i will never put cesar in that situation EVER. but what i am is a mean bitch who will literally make ur whole fucking world burn down n crack every single last drop of trust u have and i will enjoy it. bc girls like u don’t deserve loyalty. no wonder ur ex cheated, shit now i see why cesar thought abt it. i shouldn’t have held him back, i mean after all it wouldn’t have mattered bc either way u wouldn’t have trusted him in the first place. so fuck you aracely. when i hate, i hate. and ill b wishing u the worst of the worst simply bc ur unable to love my best friend the way he loves u.

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thoughts-and-all-that · 1 year

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my brother is such an entitled manbaby.

he constantly talks over everyone in any interaction and has to be right about everything because god forbid he be anything but an alpha.

i am literally afab and queer and this man has, on multiple occasions, tried to mansplain feminism and queer issues to me. i have dedicated many hours, days, weeks, months, years of my life to not only studying these two things but participating in that kind of life. im a feminist. im literally queer. i change my actions and wording to best fit because i know how important words can be. he talks just to talk.

ive barely seen him in months because hes always with his drama loving girlfriend, i mean, she literally defended the kardashians when i said they were garbage. she loves reality tv. she cant help but fight with another person whos usually in this house which is its own can of dumbass worms. shes nice to me but i barely know anything about her and i fear if i learn more ill probably hate her. i dont care that hes spending all that time with her, if it makes him happy, whatever. its just weird that ive basically said all of less than 100 words to him in months.

but honestly, even if we did hang out again, itll be the same song and dance as before. we only play what he plays. its only when he wants to cause god forbid he stop what hes doing for anyone else.

he says 'oh just come and hang out whenever!' but if i go down there he will just ignore me for his games and shit. god forbid he sacrifice a little of himself for me. ive been wanting to play the last chapter of a game with someone for months and hes the only person who ever played it with me and it takes ages in singleplayer. in another game he wont dare help me with a mission ive been needing done that i cant do on my own, cause it doesnt benefit him.

i dont think he even knows how to make more than a few dishes and he basically refuses to learn more, and i think ill probably see him dead before he dares make something that isnt ramen at home. he either eats out or insists our dad makes food and he throws a hissy fit if our dad doesnt make food or get food out.

man speaking of hissy fits, this man gets beyond pissed at every inconvenience. this is why hes a manbaby most of all. yelling, screaming, punching inanimate objects. he doesnt hurt other people directly but it ruins a mood pretty quick when someone throws a yelling tantrum over a game not working for 0.2 seconds.

he thinks the world revolves around him and refuses to entertain that maybe it doesnt. granted, our parents spoiled him when he was young, but i cant blame them. they went through something horrible around that time and simply didnt want him to suffer even though they were, and he still was cause it affected him too, but they didnt want that to ruin him. they were just trying their hardest to make sure he was happy.

its on him that hes an overgrown 12 year old. its on him that he doesnt dare take a look at himself and wonder if maybe he should tweak his personality just a little.

i say all of this over a seemingly petty recent happening, honestly.

i am miserable in my house. its a disgusting mess constantly and im always the one cleaning the worst parts aside from my dad and sometimes my other brother, though my other brother usually has to clean up after his kids, which is another point of frustration. i love those kids but its infuriating to deal with people who dont, and in this case, cant listen to you. theyre so young that english is mostly just sounds to them, theyre only just starting to learn how to speak. they cry over stupid shit, take off their diapers at every chance, and tear shit up. theyre the cause of most messes that arent in the kitchen, and even in the kitchen. outside of that stuff we are broke because of bullshit outside of our control, and i cant drive and dont have a job because im terrified that ill crash a car because its so overwhelming, or that getting a job will make me feel a way that i dont want to feel if i can help it, and i dont have any fucking real life friends, and barely any online ones anymore

all that to mean, i get no peace in my life. at every turn i run into something that makes me want to cry my eyes out and run away but theres no where i can run to. i hold tightly onto the smallest things that bring me relief, like my art, or the things i like to consume like shows and books and youtube videos about who knows what, and just. things i can control even a little. my room is the cleanest in the house in pretty much every aspect and i keep it that way with an iron fist.

and, to be gross, its nice to sit on the toilet and stare at my phone in the morning for a few minutes in a usually warm room that has very little going on (the most happening is trash on the floor.) and no ones gonna barge in and make me do who knows what instead of what i want. i know i sit in there a bit long but i mean, we literally have 2 bathrooms in this house, idc that you dont want to go into my dads room in the morning, just look the other way from him! hes asleep hes not gonna care!

and this guy who i have seen and talked to so few times in months, who i honestly at this point have wished would move out of this house for years for so many reasons, who made both times we went to six flags so obnoxious, one of them because he brought a fucking 2 year old to an amusement park in mid winter i mean seriously what the fuck did you think would happen,

he fucking tried to tell me how to use the bathroom? 'oh, stop being in there so long youre making people wait when they shouldnt have to' first off, theres two bathrooms, second off, i aint ever heard yalls asses fucking knock on that door to even tell me that someone was fucking waiting, and third off

shut the fuck up!!!!!!!!! im so tired of your entitled spoiled brat wannabe hillbilly ex military wannabe alpha ass. just shut up and move out already, jesus fucking christ.

asshole making me insecure about using the fucking toilet in my own home. ill fucking shit on your bed see how you feel about that.

theres an advantage to no one reading these posts on this blog that no one looks at. i really can say the stupidest shit.

plus, my family will never find this blog. none of them use tumblr, they would never look at the tags i use on this blog, and even if they saw this blog theyd never click on it. no one clicks on it, its a vent blog.

fuck you, brother. im sick of sacrificing myself for people who wouldnt fucking do the same for me. i got this mad over a petty thing but honestly it really is about the bigger picture. the picture paints someone id never associate with if i wasnt stuck with you by blood and household.

ill probably feel different later. i get so easily swayed by talking to people even though when im alone i always come to the same conclusion.

im fucking miserable here.

#vent #ignore me #personal

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ask-hetalia-godau · 2 years

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What are the other gods opinions on the Kirkland siblings? Also which one of them is the shortest?

I do not feel like drawing for this so instead ill type out the responses.

But first for whose the shortest. It is Arthur- but is it?

Tallest to Shortest: Alistair, Seamu, Ainsley , Morgan, Arthur, then [???]

And now the opinions under the cut so this itsnt as long

Alistair -God of Fire-

Francis: Definitely a attractive man, i enjoy his company. Though he’s a brute he’s not as bad as some people may believe

Arthur: ….. hes my brother. My older brother. We don’t get along. He doesn’t like me and I don’t like him. That is all

Lovino: Eh- we never cross paths. We know each other exist of course but we never had a reason to talk. Plus I think he’s too much of a dick to talk to anyway

Feli: ……… he’s not very nice. I wouldnt say I dont like him- but he did burn down one of my gardens. So my thoughts on him aren’t good

Marcello: Uh- I never met him i dont really have an opinion but fratellos say he aint nice

Antonio: He’s Francis’ friend I’ve interacted with him only a few times. My opinion on him is eh- he’s not someone I’d like to be around but that doesn’t mean he’s inherently bad… i just think too many people pissed him off too many times and he’s just done with the world.

João: I’ve never talked to Alistair, I’ve heard many mixed opinions from all the gods. Im more neutral on him though.

Ludwig: Alistair and I have talked many times. I do not consider him a friend as he has destroyed one of Feli’s gardens because of a misunderstanding. But he’s not terrible. There are definitely worst gods out there.

Kiku: we’re opposites in a way. I am the god of winter and he is the god of fire. Though I haven’t talked to him personally I rather not interact with him from what I’ve heard from others, plus the incident that happened with Feliciano who is a good friend of mine.

——

Morgan -God of water-

Francis: Morgan is very nice out of all the siblings. Though he is not seen very often. He definitely likes his space. But I heard that only Arthur is able to summon him with no questions asked

Arthur: the most tolerable of my siblings. Though its not like we get along ALL the time. But I’d prefer his company over the others

Lovino: …. He scares me- the amount of souls ive collected because of h-

Feli: Oh Morgan is so nice!! I don’t really talk to him but when i do he’s so kind and thoughtful. He actually helped me put out my garden… and then he “took care” of Alistair in his words.

Marcello: i also haven’t talked to him… i haven’t really talked to any of them. But i hear good things about him

Antonio: he’s great!! Very kind and he’s a good person to talk your feelings out too.

João: We’re friends- in a way. Since me and Arthur are close I’ve actually been introduced to Morgan personally. He is very kind like the others have said.

Ludwig: Indeed, Morgan is very nice but his kindness is not weakness. As Lovino said he has caused deaths of many mortals. Not only because they made him angry but also because mortals are stupid especially when it comes to water.

Kiku: he’s kind… probably the kindest of the siblings.. the other siblings aren’t so much. I guess i can see what he’s the god of water since he fits it so well.

——

Seamus -God of Earth-

Francis: Seamus…. He’s certainly a character. The biggest flirt of the siblings but also the most annoying. I don’t think he means to be though he just likes to be annoying i think. But he’s really down to earth when you talk to him when he’s not being a fool. If i wasn’t already affiliated with his brother i wouldn’t mind swinging with him.

Arthur: I’m just going to ignore what Francis said- but me and Seamus don’t get along… if you couldn’t tell we don’t have the best relationship… ever since mom died…- we also don’t talk a lot either… so strained is the best description

Lovino: I dont care for him- hes a jerk. Thats all.

Feli: uhhh hes not as terrible as Alistair- but hes not the best either

Marcello: who-

Antonio: well… he’s an interesting guy- my opinion changes on him every time we meet but at this moment i have a more neutral opinion on him

João: He’s a flirt but can be cruel. With all the siblings, except Morgan, they have all done something to Arthur, now Arthur isn’t the goody two shoes here. He definitely did something to make them angry, but he’s still a good friend. (And sometimes he does nothing at all) Arthur just doesn’t know when to keep his mouth shut ans mind his own business. Seamus isn’t a bad guy truly. None of the siblings are, but you cant help but see badly of them when they all hate each other in some way.

Ludwig: I do not speak to Seamus. I’ve heard mixed reviews on him though. But I’d rather come up with my own opinion before assuming he’s a terrible guy.

Kiku: He’s a nice guy. I was really surprised after Arthur told me he wasn’t.. but Arthur is biased. Though he’s a flirt I don’t think he flirts because he actually likes people, he may do it because he finds it- funny? Enjoyable?? A way to cope?? I don’t know i am not a therapist.

——

Ainsley-Goddess of Magic—

Francis: Ah the lovely Ainsley, she keeps to herself most times but she is amazing. Some people call her a bitch but you try being the only female in a family of brothers- plus she isn’t the type to put up with other’s problems

Arthur: I don’t think she likes me so i stay way from her. I dont know if i like her or not….. we barely know each other due to drifting as children but yeah

Lovino: I flirted with her once and i got slapped hard and then got cursed for a week

Feli: … i did the same… but i hear shes nice when she wants to be- she is pretty though

Marcello: you may be thinking “oh he’s the youngest he knows better” but no- i got cursed as well :DD

Antonio: she is nice. Definitely an amazing woman but she’s feisty. If I hadn’t known what her godhood was at first id think it was fire..

João: I’ve gone to Ainsley for medicinal herbs and have asked her to help me get back at ny brother. Don’t tell Arthur but i hang out with her sometimes she’s definitely a breath of fresh air around here

Ludwig: Lady Ainsley is kindhearted. She’s helped me with some pf my wounds after a battle and has recommended me different herbal remedies too. Even though shes the goddess of magic she sure knows her herbs

Kiku: i have to agree she is kind… though i have also seen her curse all her brothers terribly so im very terrified of her as well.

——

[?????] -god of ???-

Arthur: …… we don’t know where he is….

——

(Asks are open!!)

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warmau · 4 years

Text

☆ lovestruck!au jisung find others here: jeno | chenle | haechan

ive never been a good liar

jisung thinks as he keeps his eyes on the familiar city streets

peddling easily around the corners and up the hills until he comes to a stop in front of the schools main gate

ive never been a good liar, but ive got to learn how to become one. there’s just no way theyre going to live it down when they find out i have a crush on-

“jisung?”

he turns and nearly loses his grip on the handle bars when he sees you

you light up and clasp your hands together

“i knew it was you! are we in the same class this year?”

you’re taking steps closer to him, jisung is aware that your hair is slightly shorter then when he saw you last at the beginning of summer

your backpack is different, youre wearing some kind of necklace he’s never seen before

for what its worth - past the little details jisung wishes he wasnt so vigilant about - you still look like you

you still are the most beautiful person jisung thinks hes ever seen

he drops down to chain his bike to one of the posts before shooting back up to try and formulate some kind of greeting for you

but he doesnt even have to, for his brain goes static when you reach out to touch his shoulder

your eyes go wide, jisung thinks he sees the hold world reflected in them

“you got taller!”

“i-i guess so.”

jisung knows this is off to a bad start.

for one, he feels like he’s sweating through his uniform and the sticky feeling makes his head spin

two, the image of him walking through the class doors with you by his side is going to be cause for uproar in his friend group

and three, the worst of them all, is that somehow in this awkward atmosphere he manages to feel a whole flurry of butterflies spin and flutter in his stomach

because your fingers brush his and you keep laughing about some summer anecdote you’re telling him

and the sound is like an angel’s hymn

“oh! we are in the same class - i hope we get stuck for cleaning duty together, you can reach the top of the lockers so easily now, huh?”

you reach to pick up jisung’s wrist and hold it high above your head

he looks down at you

im such a bad liar, the guys are going to ask if i like them and im going to try and say no but im such a bad-

“ooooo am i sensing a summer romance in the air?”

na jaemin twirls over before jisung can even finish his thought

jeno and chenle smirk at his sides as jisung quickly slips his wrist from your hold

“well if it isn’t you troublemakers”

you roll your eyes as jaemin casts another starry-eyed look between you two, chenle - jisung’s closest friend - nudges him in the side

leaning up to whisper in his ear; “did you ask them out?”

jisung clenches his teeth and says; “no, why would i?”

chenle gives him an unconvinced look

the kind that reads ‘you’re joking right? you obviously like them’

but thankfully chenle is too good of a friend to spill it out loud

or at least jisung hopes thats the case

either way - you get called over by your own friend group and jisung realizes he’s about to face the relentless teasing he’d been dreading

jaemin is smiling at him in that foxish, glinting way and jeno is wiggling his eyebrows

“i dont like them, stop pushing it.”

jisung manages to say

but something in his voice sounds almost weak

“uhuh”

the three friends of his nod in unison, but when they all pass your desk - they point fingers at jisung’s back and wink

you brush it off and jisung tries to do the same

but he reckons its harder for him since, he ..... actually does like you

as soon as he settles into his seat, he feels something hit his shoulder and fall onto his desk

he opens the note, obviously written in jaemin’s handwriting

its your name, surrounded by hearts and badly drawn kisses

jisung groans and lets his forehead hit the desk

he was right

he really needs to figure out how to lie better otherwise he’s going to suffer forever

as predicted, jisung’s feelings for you don’t get any smaller

not when you catch up with him as he’s wheeling his bike through the gates every morning

when you end up sitting beside him during gym and leaning so close that you could practically swing your leg over his

and half of jisung’s mind is screaming and the other half is trying to divert his attention anywhere else but on the fact that you smell like fresh daisies during GYM no less

not when you get paired up for physics lab and jisung realizes that instead of studying you two have been goofing around for an hour

naturally enjoying each others humor and presence until you look down at your notebooks and there is nothing there but the doodles you did on each others pages

and as predicted, jisung doesn’t get any better at lying

in fact - he thinks he’s getting worse

because now when he gets teased at jaemin for staring at you

or when jeno and chenle write you and jisung’s name on the chalkboard - getting chased down by the TA

jisung doesn’t even ....... fight it anymore

what’s the point, he could say “no! no i don’t like them!” but no one would believe it

so he just lets it happen, he doesn’t say anything, and he’s too scared to look at your reaction from the corner of his eye

because he knows itll hurt

because he knows youre not lying when you say

“we’re just friends.”

but all of it at some point comes to a head

because he can’t tell lies anymore

and you aren’t getting any less perfect in his eyes

so when he walks into the classroom after basketball practice and hears

“you know, you’re jisung’s ideal type.”

someone - its not even jaemin or jeno or even chenle, its just some random person - says this

and you, in the quietest syllables ever go

“no, im not.”

jisung thinks, or actually he doesn’t even think he just knows that

im such a bad liar.

but that’s a good thing because i always say what i feel.

“yes you are.”

you turn and the room around you disappears

the corner of your lips go up a little, in that way they always do when you’re nervous

and you say, “what?”

as if you don’t believe it

jisung’s mind has never been more clear than now, when he takes you by the hand and pulls you out into the hallway

all your classmates gather at the door to hear what is going to be said

until chenle jumps up from his seat and catches his bestfriends eye

he nods, closing the door and giving you and jisung some privacy

you still have that look on your face, the one that matches the shocked “what?” you just asked jisung

outside the open window of the hall the sweet scent of hydrangeas floats up

the reality of the situation is hitting jisung in waves - but he’s already come this far

“i like you.”

he looks to the side and then clears his throat, just to say it again

but this time he adds, “you’re more than my ideal type. you’re you....and everything about you...”

he can’t find the words, he hasn’t experienced being so lovestruck before so its hard

but as he’s sort of trying to collect what to say next, you put your hands on his cheeks and force him to meet your eyes again

you’re smiling, and your eyes are smiling and jisung thinks that before he saw the whole world in them

now he thinks he sees the universe and beyond

you press your lips to his just as the door swings open

you and jisung both turn to look and jaemin is there this time

“excuse me for the interruption.”

he says, shutting the door with a hard slam once again

you giggle and then look back at jisung, whose so pink the face it looks like hes got a sunburn coming on

“park jisung, i like you too.”

even though you just kissed him, jisung can’t help but ask -

“really?”

“you think you’re the only bad liar? i cant lie to save my life.”

he laughs and feels your hand take his own

the sudden affection almost makes him hiccup as he tries to say something

but his hearts beating so fast he can barely manage the words

its always better to tell the truth anyway, right?

#nct dream scenarios #nct dream au #jisung scenarios #jisung au #sfw #nct dream #park jisung #nct dream imagines #jisung imagines #lovestruck au #im na jaemin minding other peoples business

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tigerdrop · 3 years

Note

Cringe is dead, talk to me about the funny half-life men and their relationship

okay here is my essay. it is titled These Guys Actually Like Each Other, and Gordon Freeman Is Just Kind Of A Dick*

(disclaimer: these are just my 2 cents. dont take me too seriously! im just some guy online who has watched this shit too many times.)

first things first. these guys actually like each other. this is a key aspect of their relationship. benrey, obviously and textually, digs gordon freeman - you dont flirt that heavily with guys you arent into, and so much of what he says and does is geared around making gordon crack up. thats pretty gay.

but the counterpart to this is that gordon freemans pretty fucking gay for benrey, too. you may say, “oh, but word of god says its not requited!” and to you i will say: bull shit. gordon is uniquely obsessed with benrey compared to all the other characters. if gordon didnt like the fucking guy, he wouldnt giggle with him and share in-jokes with him and bring him up every 5 seconds when benreys not around. thats concern, bro. thats worry. thats real shit

but i cant blame people for thinking that gordon freeman genuinely doesnt like benrey. benreys partially responsible for some of the worst things that have happened to him, the Arm Thing among them. and gordons very insistent afterward that he doesnt like benrey. he even goes so far as to try to kill benrey a couple times. to this, i must argue that gordon freeman is just kind of a dick.

lets talk facts here. canon. Lore. from the moment we hop into gordons shoes, we can see that he is a jerk to every npc on his way into black mesa. this is his default: a dude who just runs his mouth and says rude shit. he calls tommy a freak within 5 minutes of meeting him. he infantilizes the guy and barely considers him a real scientist. he doubts that bubby is a real name for like no fuckin reason. in “real life”, this is because its funny, and wayne is trying to make a funny half-life stream. in a textual sense, this is because gordon “hlvrai” freeman is a dick. this is the way he acts, consistently, throughout the series.

(brief aside: this is why the whole “gordon is a nice guy and a great dad” characterization baffles me. the way he actually acts in canon is, in short, bitchy and lacking in self-awareness. and i love that for him, i really do. it makes the moments where he just tries to be a nice guy stand out. but thats the thing: his intermittent moments of decency and kindness are not the whole of his personality! this dude kind of sucks most of the time!)

the way that gordons general asshole attitude extends to benrey is complicated. in fairness, benrey makes it his job to annoy the shit out of gordon as much as possible, and that warrants a negative attitude, but gordons pretty paranoid and ends up blaming benrey for nearly everything that happens to him, regardless of if its warranted. this is a pattern he exhibits both before and after the Arm Thing. its a little bit of a dick move! especially considering that, prior to the whole “betrayal” subplot (which was not exactly planned very far in advance), benrey is no more malicious or annoying than anybody else gordons having to travel with.

(okay, this is kind of a subjective evaluation, but still. my point stands that benrey is not any more of a hindrance to his progress than anybody else in the science crew, and neither is he particularly more violent or murderous. hell, gordon freeman has probably killed more guys than benrey. benrey just tends to get.......special treatment.)

all that said, i am still convinced that gordon really fucking likes benrey. please consider with me the following: it would be remarkably easy for gordon to just ignore him and do what he has to do, but he doesnt. he could stop engaging. he could stop thinking about benrey. he could stop bringing benrey up to the rest of the crew every time benrey leaves to do his own thing for awhile. but he doesnt. and, again, yeah, the extra-textual reason for this is “two guys are doing an improv comedy thing and bouncing off of scorpy is kind of the point”, but within the text it reads to me as gordon not being about to get the dude off his mind.

and this is in addition to all the times we see gordon being genuinely nice and receptive toward benrey! its in the little things: laughing the hardest and longest at benreys jokes. only ever reciprocating that stupid underwater “BBBBB” thing with benrey. trying to catch benrey when he falls, despite his insistence moments earlier that benrey should hop in the wack ass crystal generator and get hypermurdered. fondly remarking that benreys sweet voice sounds beautiful. his sort of flustered responses to most of benreys overt flirting. none of this is the way normal people react to a guy they hate. this is all fuckin gay to me, man.

its this combination of the outward insistence that gordon hates benrey with his inner eagerness to be around him and think about him and engage with him that gives off strong “repression” vibes, to me. for whatever reason - pride, embarrassment, resentment - gordon maintains a front of hating the guy and wanting to kill him for a lot of the series, but it doesnt gel with the way he fucking giggles and plays along half the time that benrey starts fucking with him. its a game, and that game is one of the only ways gordon knows to manifest affection for him.

(remember “oh my god, hes got a knife!”? that was the gayest shit i ever seen in my life. tittering like a schoolgirl while benrey chases him around like “im gonna get you haha”. insanity.)

the cool thing about repression is that you can have it manifest in a lot of ways! and this is where things like “headcanons” and “my own personal affection for repressed bisexual men” come in. a lot of how i characterize their relationship is an extrapolation of a lot of things like gordons canonical insecurity issues/anxiety, gordons whole anti-bootboy thing screaming “internet wokeboy who means well but probably has a lot of repressed baggage” to me, etc.

how do you get massive amounts of sexual repression out of what you see in canon, you might ask? well. if wayne would stop having gordon talking about being jerked off by the suit, or talking about chugging a 40-gal drum of potion and having to hold his piss, or worrying about being eaten by benrey the moment he sees benrey at setscale 10, maybe i would have a higher opinion of gordon “hlvrai” freeman and whatever latent psychosexual issues hes got going on. but here we are

i havent even touched yet upon how benrey feels about gordon. this one is helpfully made a little more plain by the fact that benrey very much wants to suck his dick in canon. (i dont even have to go into details. we all know.) but IMO the best part about this ship isnt just that they dig each other, but how. benrey gets overtly flirtatious in the second half of the series, but IMO his preferred method of flirting is just fucking with gordon: chasing him with knives, shoving him around in a bathroom, trying to get scans of his feet. but all in like a slapstick, giggly, fun-and-games sense, you know? at least when it works.

a lot of the time, though, it doesnt work out that way. he clearly just likes doing it whether or not gordon responds positively. which is, you know, Weird. not very nice. but also in line with the way everybody else treats gordon freeman. gordons kind of the universes chew toy in any given universe, and the same holds true here. hes kind of helpless......subjected to 4 demons attempting to make his life as difficult as possible. in a way its cathartic.

sorry. i got sidetracked. anyway, benrey very much likes to mess with him and unnerve him and demean him and i will be perfectly frank with you: that is hot. i have problems and illnesses and one of them is that i am a masochist who goes crazy for that kind of thing. calling gordon a “dirty lil boy” and telling him to “look at the mess [he] made” is some straight up kink scene shit.

i like to imagine that a lot of this behavior isnt caused just by the guy who played him wanting to be funny and antagonistic, but by benrey as a character not really understanding what constitutes “pushing a joke too far”. hes not human, and whatever he is doesnt have a very normative way of understanding the world around him, full of people who actually get hurt for real and die for real. benrey expresses what seems to be genuine surprise and distress after the Arm Thing, as if he didnt know that his actions would have serious consequences. and it doesnt seem to fully sink in afterward, either.

it reads a lot to me like hes used to video game rules and treating people around him like NPCs. if they get hurt, its no big deal, because its not real. he likes jamming random buttons on gordons interface and seeing what comes out. its probably a lot of fun for him, the same way that seeing a streamer or a youtuber suffer for our amusement is fun. its like, you know, in my opinion, gordons very cute when hes frazzled. hes also cute when hes laughing. pushing gordons buttons has a 50/50 chance of either of these things. and this is how he ultimately flirts with gordon: by pulling his pigtails.

but at the same time, benrey does legit care about gordon and knows some boundaries. benreys the one most often shooting at enemies to protect gordon, and he spent most of the last act trying to convince gordon to turn around and not fight him because they were friends (best friends, to be specific). he just lacks a lot of the emotional intelligence it would take to express the feeling of “he digs gordon and likes seeing his face get all red and sweaty regardless of the cause”. and gordon lacks the emotional intelligence it would take to express the fact that he doesnt know if he likes or hates benrey and hes scared as hell that its the former

because, lets be real. unironic benrey-liking is a sign of problems disorder. just look at all these words ive written about it.

can you imagine? this bizarrely powerful, non-human entity that can shrug off gunfire and grow to the size of a building has decided that youre his new plaything. benreys the bored guy booting up skyrim and fucking around in the console, and gordons the hapless favorite follower that hes taken a liking to. its a really fun dynamic IMO

after all this, its safe to say my title is a little misleading. the asterisk stands for * and So Is Benrey, Actually. they are both kind of awful dudes who thrive off of teasing each other and they deserve each other. and i am crazy about it. thank u for coming to my TED talk

#asky #careposting

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strawberryspeachy · 3 years

Text

S4e10 is the first time i want to actually rewatch an entire episode of handmaids tale.... ok wait second time - was it the new “ofglen” who blew up that important building with all the commanders inside and the handmaids outside - that ending was great

But omg

First off elizabeths moss’s acting!!! Ive gotten too used to that same dreadful look shes been making for the past couple seasons that... the wide range of facial expressions really surprised me and it just!! Wow

the suspence the whole episode. Nothing EVER goes right in this show. I knew what i wanted to see but i fully expected fred and serena to go free and happy. That back and forth feeling was super engaging

I loved that even though there was that tension between june and moira before, moira jumped right back to trying to fight and doing all the screaming and ranting for june - someones gotta do it and june was too mentally exausted

K like im still confused why everyone can go in and out of the waterford prison so easily and was like.... dooooo they want june to kill him?!?!? Why are you leaving her alone???

And i was so excited like yesssss shes gonna kill himmm - well first i thought she was gonna go to serena and kill her baby

But when she was walking around that room... like a cat pretending not to notice the mouse in the room - we just know june too well to think she wasnt at least planningggg something

Also fred is fucking DISGUSTINGGGGG as usual. Lying during his ... conference like WHY are you just gonna beleive this psycho at face value?!

Oh and serena thinking shes got all the power back.

Omg the two of them. I cant

And fred really being such a fucking disgusting person to think ANY part of june enjoyed his torture. She is so strong dude - i could never sit there not knowing if my plan will work and playing nice. I thought she was gonna break that glass and stab him

And like. Ok. Lukes not the worst but also - his whole - just get over it!!! Attitude.... even if she cant get him on the wall why are you reprimanding her and trying to pretend she can just get over that trauma with some food. Absolutr lack of empathy.

But june saying hes gonna be on the wall... i was so giddy!!

And i rewatched that smile she made when larence told her she hanst lost her touch- well she could barely contain her smile throughout that entire negotiation. And i loved watching larence put on a show like ‘ah we rlly miss waterford! My brother!!’

Gah and just. Also... i kinda thought june was gonna kill mark when she was outside his building. Men in this show. She went through 7 years of hell and you told her youd help and fucked her over and then throw an entire dramatic tempertantrum when she calmly sits on a bench near your house.... lol wow..i mean uncomfortable but have some prespective

And i wanna say the like demand straight to - oh im sorry. Didnt mean to he a cunt - i meant please? Act june did, its not overacting but knowing june it is so it was funny af

The suspence watching fred get ready to go.., i was literally chanting for the plane to be to gilead but it was so much better! Watchint him get arrested all shocked. “Im a man! I have rights” all the fucking ew... open the door back up and slap him

I just thought he was gonna get sent back and wed watch the commanders all hang him. But it to be lawrence - again with his ‘oh? Is there anything i can do to stop this? No? Ok bye fred!’

And i mean i knew we were in for a treat with nick taking him but i was NOT EXPECTING JUNE to just POP OUT of the trees!!! Fucking perfect. A literal horror movie just for fred

Also why did he keep calling nick son.... like... no one likes you???? Do you really think you can regain power just saying words like this???

And this is e first time i fucking LOVED seeing june in a red coattt and her faceeee like last episode when she turned from calm to screaming - it wad so good and so intense and such good acting and that heartbeat music got me

But hereeeee i cant even desribe the combination or rage and calmness pouring out. Not to be a weeb but thats the first time i think ive ever seen a live action representation of how i imagine anime cool characters to act

That power play of nick and june making out in front of fred loool - i dont care about the ships but that was perfect

“This is sick” - whats sick is how you never run out of things to do and say that make me feel sick...

I loved how june told him to choose - i feel like jt was a call back to his lawyer saying that she CHOSE to be a handmaid. Like theres not good option here

Does anyone think she actually would have shot him dead IF he did choose the gun - part of me wants an alterantive ending where he chose that just so i could watch june either tell him ‘no thats too easy’ or like shoot him in the foot so he cant even run right before being like

Oops i missed and chasing him down anyway

I hate horror movies but watching them all chase him down UGHHH IVE NEVER FELT SO MUCH GLEEE - k not never but ya know

OMG ALMOST FORGOT that sceneee with june and emily talking at the table about how june wants him to be scared to death. And fucking luke - with his judgements turning and looking. I feelll like.... emily helped june decide to do this. Because after getting to the end of the episode it seemed more like they were planning in plain sight in thay scene

I havent rewarched the show. So maybe im remembering incorrectly but it does feel like this fits because - wasnt emily kind of what inspired june to actively start rebelling when she drove the car around and ran one of the guards over

Anddddd the songggg from the 1st? Or 2nd??? Season. The ending right? I just remember that the last time we heard that song was when june first started a quiet resistance against gilead and all the handmaids were together in it. So it brought back those feelings of like ‘FINALLY its happening!!’ And it fit soooo perfectlyyy

When the girls first ran up to fred i thought they were gonna surround him and reinact that “shame” thing they used to be forced to do. I mean i guess they did without actually saying it cause they definitely killed him the way gilead forced the handmaids to kill people in the first season

And it was wonderful to watch! Thank you handmaids tale for making me feel like a psychotic sadist for enjoying that ENTIRE scene. I was giggling like i was watching a disney movie

Gonna ignore that part where june picks up the baby covered in blood - ew

I wanted to seeeeee serena get the finger - more so - i wanted to watch tha family come in and get her and be like - hey guess what your coming back to gilead!!! And see it end with serena as a fucking handmaid - GIVING BIRTH TO THE BABY BETWEEN (i forget the one who visited hers name) LEGS!

But fuck seeing fred on a wall with the “dont let the bastards grind you down” from the the very beginningggg - it felt sooo goodddd

And i just needed to squeal over this episode some more! I watched it hours ago. But i kinda wanna rewatch it rnn

#the handmaid's tale #elizabeth moss

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bunny-heels · 2 years

Text

yknow ive gone through my life online barely ever following or knowing someone who has a rotten opinion on something that would be considered minimal in the world outside of art. like, ive never followed someone who thought out loud that overly saturated art was ugly. uncomfortable yes, but not ugly.

the only time ive ever seen someone i follow have a bad opinion on something is with the reblog argument. i'll follow an artist, and they will no opinion on any other thing related to art, like character design, color palettes, anatomy. they keep quiet about it. but ive had artists that have openly, and unapologetically, called people greedy for wanting reblogs. at most im thankful that its only happened twice [i'd have two nickels] but its still not good.

the worst part too is that these are artists that dont have to worry about their art not getting attention. they seem to have the luck on their side when it comes to getting their art noticed and appreciated. they dont have to worry about making their stuff circle around, because it happens regardless. maybe the artsstyle they have is more favorable. maybe they have a better schedule, they know when to post their art. maybe they are better than us. but it still hurts that these artists, who will always get attention, are the same ones getting mad at those that even struggles just to get 5 likes on it.

and that simply makes me thinks theyve never had that struggle. either that, or it was never too harsh on them. i just want them to know what its like. cause if they did, maybe they would understand.

of course there are artists as well that dont get attention for their art, and will call other artist greedy for it as well. but you have to know that, its hard. youre happy with ur art no matter the attention, thats fine. but for some of us, it would be nice to know that our work is good enough to show to other people, even if they wont understand.

i'll never forget that, honestly, dumb comic i saw someone make in reply to calling artists who want attention greedy, where the premise was, "why would i reblog someone that only i would understand, and not my followers?" which thats another problem. not only are you calling other artists greedy for wantin just a small amount of attention even on their work, NOW youre trying to excuse it by saying you wont share the content you enjoy seeing on YOUR blog? the place that YOU made as a personal space for things you like and enjoy? youre refusing to let something you love even graze a place you created as your own space for your interest and fixations?

at that point, its clear you arent reblogging because you dont wanna show people something they "wouldnt be interested in". you just wont reblog it cause you dont like it. just say it. just say you dislike the art and dont think it deserves recognition. yeah, you'll be known as an asshole for openly hating on the art of smaller artists who can barely get the love their work deserve, but at least you'll be honest right? cause thats what you want?

so just go on and do that. at least people will know what type of person you are a lot quicker.

#the bun talks

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100layersofdaddyissues · 3 years

Text

Angel - Chapter 5

AGHHHH I KNOW IM SORRY it was an involuntary hiatus brought on by the horrible holiday we call christmas, but its here, ive had this idea since the beginning so i hope you like it!

rach im sorry this ones for you my queen of angst i hope i did you proud

In retrospect maybe taking personal leave directly after your fight with Maxwell probably didn't fit in with the image you wanted to portray to him, you’d hoped it looked as though you truly didn't care about what he said to you. But you did. You wish you didn't, honest, you'd been burnt by men before, you shouldn't have been surprised that once you caught feelings you would be in trouble. But you thought “if he truly doesn't care about me then it won't matter to him that I’m not there, he won't even notice.” you'd still been working from home, you've been keeping up all your professional correspondence, he won't notice, so why should you care about him either.

Little did you know however, that the morning after his outburst, Maxwell had returned to the apartment you had presided in, expecting you to be there. But you weren’t. He wanted to apologise, to grovel and fall to his knees and beg you to forgive him. To tell you that he was an idiot and he never meant to hurt you and that he, well, he had very strong feelings for you that were really, really beginning to scare him.

That night had been the first time he'd ever lost sleep over something in years.

Ever since he had lost his fiancée, Alice, Max made sure to never become attached to anyone, knowing how much pain it will cause him when they inevitably leave. Everyone left, whether it be willingly or not. His grandparents left, his parents, the woman he would have died for, and now you. He wasn't sure where you fit in there, his grandparents taught him to find happiness in everything, his parents taught him how to live, how to run the business he loved so much, and Alice taught him to love. And you. You taught him how to love again, you taught him compassion and kindness that he'd long lost. Before you he had promised himself that he would never feel pain again. But here he was, dealing with the consequences of breaking that sacred rule, and he hated it.

Max had hoped that he'd perhaps be able to speak to you at work, get you alone in your office, sadistically, somewhere you couldn't escape him, but alas, when he arrived early in the morning, two coffees in hand, Sookie had been there to greet him, letting him know that you were taking leave and working from home. He didn't press the issue, in fact he didn't say anything, just mumbled a quiet “you have this then” while passing her the second coffee.

Maybe he could call you to apologise, but it seemed pathetic to him to even consider apologising over the phone, after what he had said to you, you truly deserved the most heartfelt apology he could muster. But as the days went on and turned into weeks with you not at the apartment or at work, he slowly gave up. Max’s head started to fill with thoughts that maybe you were preparing to leave the company, to leave him. He had convinced himself that if you stayed with the company then you were staying with him.

He didn’t know why he had assumed that it would be easy, you’d proven to be anything but, he’d hoped he could just apologise, and then fuck you enough to prove it. But no. it wasn't going to be that easy.

Maxwell didn't want to admit it. But he missed you.

For the first week he stayed at the apartment every night, away from his home, just hoping that you would return for something. All of the clothes he'd paid for were still there, the kitchen was still stocked, you'd even left cigarettes in a pack on the balcony. It hurt to see how quickly you'd left him; you were obviously rushing to get away from him. He really fucked up. And he had no idea how to fix it.

He really fucking missed you. How soft your lips were, your cheeks reminded him of soft marshmallows for some reason. He missed the way the sun used to hit your face in the mornings as he was getting ready to leave the apartment, you always looked so beautiful, the golden light bathing you in a constant glow, he always felt content in those moments. Like nothing could ever go wrong or be bad, he simply let himself live in that moment, pretending that he could stay like that forever. And for some reason, he had convinced himself that h couldn’t stay. Every morning like that, where he left, the pain inside of him grew deeper and more unbearable.

And now all of that was gone, and it was his fault.

You missed him too. You hadn't left your apartment in almost three weeks, and you had intended for it to stay that way until Jade had shown up at your apartment this morning.

“Listen, I'm sorry that Mr. Handsome was a cunt, but I did warn you, you can't wallow here for the rest of your life. You've kept the job, and your apartment is dirt cheap, so I know you're loaded, you know what that means? We're going day drinking.”

“I don't want to go day drinking. I want to sit in my cocoon and rewatch the Brady Bunch, I'm not hurting anyone.” you said trying to release from her grasp. You had no intentions of being seen in public.

“Well too fucking bad, George is going to be here soon and he’s bringing me a friend, so you can’t fuck this up because I’ve been trying to get Robert to ask me out for weeks. We're going.” she said, beginning to pull out your makeup and go through it.

You walked towards her to ask what she was looking for until you clocked what she had said. “Wait did you just say George? As in George, my ex-coworker? Why is he coming over?” you asked your tone growing in urgency as your questions progressed.

“Well, when I was talking to him, he asked where you been, so I explained that you'd been working for Maxwell lord and that you’d not left your room in weeks after a big fight with your boss I’m not an id- OW! why are you throwing things at me?”

“Because! When George saw me on the street that night, I told him that it had been a fight with my boyfriend! Now he's going to think Maxwell was my boyfriend! I'm in so much trouble if he tells anyone that!” You refused to panic. At least that's what you were telling yourself as you got more and more breathless, you're truly trying not to panic but god is it hard to convince your brain not to have an anxiety attack.

“Listen Y/N if he thinks Max is your boyfriend so what, he isn't anymore, so what's the deal?” how Jade could be so nonchalant about this began to frustrate you, this could ruin you. Didn't she realise that? “Get up and shower I’m sure they are almost here.” apparently not.

And surely enough, just after you had gotten dressed there was a loud knock at the door, Jade went to answer it, hoping to distract the boys while you threw your hair together.

You overheard their idle chatter, something about the work at halo being boring and Henry being a dick. Nothing you didn't already know.

As you emerged you saw the two boys sitting on your couch and Jade standing in the kitchen. You'd never realised how small this apartment was until you were sitting here with others and everything felt so cramped. You missed your place with Max. you shouldn't say that. It wasn't your house with him. It was his place. You were staying there.

“Hey guys! Sorry I was just fixing up my hair, should we head?” you try to sound as cheery as you could. You were not ready for this day.

George slipped past you, saying something about “I just need the loo, I can lock up and meet you downstairs.” yeah, like you were going to let him do that, deciding to shoot jade and Robert downstairs, telling them you'd wait for George to get out and then come downstairs with him.

He was taking an unusually long time in the bathroom, and all you could think was “dear god please tell me he's not pooping in there,” as you went to knock on the door to check if he was okay, you heard a loud bang, felt unbearable heat, and then, saw only black.

Maxwell had been staring out his window all day, he wasn't sure why, but he had been compelled to stare at the skyline, take in how beautiful the city really was. Returning from his office he sat down to do the exact thing he had been doing all morning, until he noticed a pillar of smoke coming from the south side of the city. A bolt of fear ran through him as he remembered picking Y/N up from her apartment in the south downtown area of DC.

Immediately he called his assistant for the week and told her to access employee records for Y/N’s address, then he called the Fire Chief for the DC area, asking for the address of the most current fire that he can see burning from his window. And his worst fear was realised. They're the same address, it's Y/N’s apartment that's up in flames, and he's sitting in his high rise just watching it happen.

Maxwell stormed out of his office yelling at the girl to have Darius in the car waiting for him at the front doors by the time he gets down to them or she's fired. Logically he knew that she had no control over that, but he was in a rush and he didn't care to care about her. He didn't even know her name. Something with a B maybe? This is not what he should be thinking about right now.

He should be thinking about how the second chance he had at love was in danger and he had no idea what to do except go to her. That's if she even still lived there, what if she moved and she was absolutely fine, and here he was running around like a headless chicken hoping that she was okay when she could be fine; “yeah,” he thought, “she’s fine, I’m just going to go check up on the building just in case she's there and if she isn't then I will just go back to the office.” yeah because it was going to be that simple. Everything leading up to this point sure has been.

“Master Lord, I have to ask why we were driving to the downtown area in the middle of the workday?” Darius asked him with a careless tone as if he was expecting Maxwell to say that he just wanted a coffee.

“I have reason to believe Y/N is in trouble and I would like to ensure that she's not, now is that okay with you?” Maxwell knew he was being an ass, but he also knew that Darius cared for her too and that was accentuated in the way he stepped on the gas not saying a word, as if speed limits were not a problem.

They were outside the apartment building in less than ten minutes, Maxwell racing out of the car before it was even parked. He stood in front of the building gulfed in flames staring at it feeling a sense of hopelessness.

“Oh no you fucking don’t, Mister.” he heard someone say but barely paid any attention until a young woman got up in his face. “I’m talking to you Richie Rich what the fuck do you think you’re doing here? You yell at her, make her miserable, don't speak to her for weeks and then suddenly when she's in trouble you're here? To what? save the day? Sorry to break it to you dude but money is an accelerant so it’s probably best that you fuck off.” she shouted at him. He had no idea who this woman was but from what he had heard she obviously knew Y/N.

“Wait she's in trouble? She's in there?” he didn't even think to ask who she was all he wanted to know was if she was okay.

“Yes, she's in there, fires have been burning long enough for you to get down here do you see her on a stretcher? No, she's still in there, my best friend is in there and if she doesn't come out of there alive, I'm going to blame you. if it weren't for you going all macho alpha bullshit man then she wouldn’t have felt the need to leave that apartment up town, she wouldn't have moved back into this shit hole, and she would have been at work today instead of watching brady bunch reruns for the last 12 days straight. So, for your sake you better hope she comes out of there alive or I’m going to kill you for killing her.” Max had barely had the time to process the thought before he was tearing up, light sniffles coming from his nose as he tried to hold them back.

“Right, you're ahh… you're completely right, this is my fault, and believe me, I wish nothing more than to be able to take that night back, to make sure it never happened, because all I want right now is to hold her, and, and tell her, tell her that I love her. Because I do. I really do, and if I never get the chance to tell her that then I promise you can blame me forever and make my life a living hell but right now, all I want to do is focus on getting her out of there alive so excuse me for just one second please.” Maxwell walked away from her after saying his piece walking directly to the man who looked to be in charge of the fight.

“Excuse me, hi, I’m going to need you to go immediately to 21b and save the woman in there, she is of utmost importance do you hear me?”

“Sir, I'm sorry but we're going apartment by apartment trying to get everyone out. We can't just take priority for some girl,” the man said to him, slightly condescending as if he hadn't just asked the man to save the love of his life.

‘Here, you take this,'' Maxwell said while fishing out his wallet and handing the man his ID card, “and I’m going to call Chief Wallace, shall I? Or are we going to stop wasting time and you’re going to go get my girl out of that fucking building son?” Max’s tone was commanding, he would get what he wanted, and he knew that much.

“Yes sir, I’ll go retrieve her myself right away.” the man said while running towards his truck, Maxwell presumed for him to suit up.

As he walked back towards the group that Darius had now joined, the woman, whose name he still couldn't remember or hadn't been told, had a relieved and vaguely smug look on her face. “You know she's going to kill you when she finds out you manipulated the fire department into saving her first right?” she said watching Y/N’s window for any sign of movement.

“I know, but it's worth the price to have her here to threaten to kill me.” he said staring at the same window.

“Sorry, I know that was really rude of me, I’m Jade, I'm not sure if Y/N has mentioned me, this is Robert and George, two of our friends, guys this is Max, Y/N’s... Friend?”

“Yeah, I think it's best we go with a friend for now. I'd like to live long enough to be able to change that.” Maxwell slightly chuckled. He felt lighter, she wasn't safe but the hope he felt made him feel better.

Until he saw he being carried out, on the right side of her body her skin was burnt, he clothes blackened and singed, she looked lifeless, Maxwell heard nothing but silence and the ringing in his ears as he ran to take her from the man, Maxwell took her from his arms, and fell to the floor, he watched her, waiting for movement, and like the glimmer of hope he had held on to paid off, her chest moved slowly and minutely, but it moved, she was breathing.

Maxwell let go then, as he held her to him and sobbed into her, pushing the hair out of her face, being careful not to touch her skin while the paramedics brought over a stretcher, he didn't want to let her go, he just got her back he couldn't let her go.

He couldn't hear anyone, but he felt a hand on his shoulder and Jade's sympathetic eyes filled with her own tears staring down at her. That compelled him to stand up and lay her on the stretcher. The paramedics asked if he wanted to ride to hospital with her, but he looked at Jade and gestured for her to go. He knew that if she woke up on the way, the first face she saw after almost dying shouldn't be the man that put her in that situation.

He followed the ambulance into the city, finding jade within minutes, they sat in the waiting room for 8 hours, just hoping for some good news, they talked about how Max and Y/N met and how he knew he was in love and everything he can't wait to do with her if she gives him the chance. The conversation lulled around hour 5 with Jade opting to nap in the highly uncomfortable hospital chairs, urging Maxwell to follow in her suit but he couldn't sleep until he knew how she was. He needed answers the moment they were available to him.

By the time it was almost hour 9 a doctor came to them.

“She's going to be just fine, the burns aren't too severe, however she did inhale a lot of smoke shop she's going to be rusty on the talking for a few days and her respiratory system is going to take a while to recover, so it's up to you to make sure she doesn't overexert herself okay? Other than that, she’s out of surgery, so you can go see her, but just make sure it's only 1-2 people at a time. This is a very traumatic time for her and it's only going to get worse before it gets better but I’m sure with a husband like you it won't be so hard for her to recover.” the doctor finished with a small smile and then walked back down the hall to attend to other patients he assumed.

Husband. She thought he was Y/N’s husband. And honestly, he didn't want to correct her on it. He liked the idea of being her husband. Even if it wasn't real.

“Hey Jade, come on wake up, we can go see her now.” Jade sat bolt upright when she heard those words. Asking for her room number and bolting towards the door, with Maxwell following behind slowly. He reached her door and saw her sleeping, so peacefully, the LED lights of the hospital only served to make her look more pale and sickly than she already was, but she still looked beautiful to him. Absolutely perfect.

Just before he could join Jade in the room his cell began to ring. “Maxwell Lord.” he answered, not expecting any calls on this thing, it’s 1984 who has this phone number?

“Mr. Lord I’m sorry to interrupt you, I know you're extremely busy with your wife, but I just had a matter to discuss with you about the fire in her building.” The man on the other end, Chief Wallace, sounded nervous, almost trembling, “I'm not entirely sure how to explain this, but preliminary investigation we conducted into the cause of the fire has indicated that the fire was started in Ms. Y/L/N’s apartment.”

“I'm afraid we're going to need to question her when she becomes lucid enough for a police interview.”

tags: @innerstrawberrypolice @maxlordsgf @mrschiltoncat @historianwithaheart

#Pedro Pascal #pedro pascal fluff #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal angst #maxwell lord #maxwell lord smut #maxwell lord x reader #maxwell lord fluff #maxwell lord angst

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hargroves-angel · 5 years

Note

you and billy get in a fight and he asks max for help

I Really Fucking Like You Billy Hargrove

Summary - Billy does something he regrets but lets his temper get the best of him resulting in you and him having an argument, however this just makes Billy even more angry causing Max to help her step brother out.

Warnings - Swearing, Billy being mean, Angst, Fluff

A/N - So sorry that this took so long to get out I’ve got a lot to do this week so uploads are going to be spaced out, I hope that’s ok, I apologise in advance though angels!

The front door slammed shut gaining Max’s attention away from her homework. Billy was obviously home. he’d actually been pretty happy recently especially after having been dating you. He just hadn’t stopped smiling, she thought he was sick! you were having some sort of effect on him and it was quite scary for Max, someone had tamed the beast in her eyes.

Billy hadn’t stopped being annoying but he wasn’t as mean, he even apologised to her for the whole car and her friends incident.

“Fucking bitch” Billy grumbled as he walked past her open door. “Turn down that fucking music!” he yelled at her from his room. She rolled her eyes but none the less turned it down, going to shut her door.

That’s when she got really confused. Were those sobs? from Billys room? Was he crying?

She peaked her head round the gap of his door.

He had his head in his hands. She glanced around at the room seeing how much you really had changed him, everywhere was clean. No dirty washing, no empty beer cans, no cigarette butts in the ash tray. it was so clean.

“What the fuck do you want shithead?” Billy growled.

“What happened?” Billy shook his head and laughed lowly.

“Why do you even care?” He shoved his head back in his hands. Max slowly crept over to sit next to him on the bed.

“Because like you said, we’re family now… we’ve got to look out for each other” she mumbled cringing at her words as she looked around at his transformed room. To be honest you should come round more often, her room could do with a reorganisation.

“yeah well whatever, doesn’t even matter anyway”

“It clearly matters Billy, I’ve never seen you cry-”

“I wasn’t even crying… that much. Basically we went to a party and I got really drunk, I ended up kissing some girl… I thought it was Y/N, I promise I thought it was her- Same hair, same eyes, same everything to me at the time. The worst part is that this girl pulled me in for the kiss first and me thinking it was Y/N - I just kissed back” Max sucked in a breath. “I should’ve known it wasn’t her - and then I started yelling at her… Fuck I feel so bad” Billy shoved his head in his hands.

“Well I think… the best thing is to talk to her”

“Ive already done that Maxine, she doesn’t want to talk about it”

“I don’t think think yelling about your point is the same as talking Billy” Max mumbled.

“Whatever, It’s just she deserves more then just some half assed apology… She’s so important to me Max…”

“How about tomorrow you show up at her house, pick her up and take her to that movie she wanted to watch”

“What movie?” Billy asked genuinely confused.

“she’s been talking about it loads! It’s all she mentions?”

With that Billy shoved his head right back in his hands. “I didn’t even fucking know that- you know what Maxine, fuck you! get the fuck out of my room now”

“Wait what?!” Max furrowed her eyebrows and huffed.

“Just fucking get out!” Billy yelled at her. Max knew better than to stay, she stomped out. Billy was definitely falling hard for Y/N, in a way it amused her, to see him even getting all angry every time a love song played, let’s just say he’s been working out a lot recently, he was hitting the weights every chance he got whilst the radio played some sort of love song, but it was when your song came on did she see Billy really fall apart, he dropped the weight on the floor and stomped into his room, anger and hurt radiating off him.

Thats when she felt bad, he usually didn’t give a shit, every girl he’d been with eventually got mad or fed up of his antics and he would come home, bitch about them and then sleep it off not even caring about it the next day. He was so grumpy now a days so she had to do something. So she made a plan, she was going to get you two back together again. God knows you were both way too stubborn and Billy had locked himself at home for the most part, rock music blaring through the walls, the heavy stench of cigarettes and Mary-Jane coming from his room, but as much as she disliked her older step brother she knew she had to help him.

You were definitely the nicest girl he’d dated.

So that’s what she did. At 7am sharpish she asked Billy to take her to the lake, to “Meet some friends” He said no at first obviously so she did a bit of extra planning and made a deal, Dad won’t know about weed as long as Billy agrees to take her. He agreed eventually.

Little did billy know that he was to meet you at that lake. Max had told you to meet her at the lake because she wanted to talk about ‘girl problems’ shed been having and she didn’t want to say it at home because it was embarrassing.

Billy drove the whole way, cigarette dangling from his lips, sunglasses covering his sleep deprived eyes.

She noticed how he hadn’t been sleeping recently. He’d been up all night crying but she wouldn’t tell him she knew because he sure as hell would have her for it.

she impatiently tapped her foot on the floor of the Camaro, her lip caught between her teeth as she chewed on it nervously. This could go a few ways, either Billy gets hurt or you get hurt or maybe you make up. She hoped that you would make up.

“Would you quit fucking tapping, so fucking annoy-” He paused as he saw you, he pulled into the clearing.

“I have to go! Ummm maybe you should talk to her” Max ran out of the car.

“You little fucking sh-” He stopped as he watched you turn around, your eyes landing on the blue car. He saw your smile slip, your eyebrows furrowing and a frown on your face.

You were wearing his AC/DC shirt. He sighed, opening the door the cigarette being discarded on the floor.

“Hey!, angel… look im really fucking sorry princess”

“Really Billy! Because Dana told me you didn’t care” You huffed.

“Look just let me explain…” He felt his patience wearing thin.

“No Billy! Because every time I let you ‘explain’ you end up yelling at me! telling me it’s my fault and im sorry but I don’t think I can-”

“I DON’T FUCKING YELL” He yelled. A regretful expression on his face as he carded his hands through the ends of his hair. He realised what he’d done, he sighed. “Im working on it baby” his eyes flickered to the floor. “It’s just gonna take time… I promise im working on it”

“How much time Billy!? Because we’ve been together for 3 months now and you still have this temper! You don’t know how to control yourself, sometimes I get scared, and I know you won’t ever hurt me but, its just I hate this constant screaming match between us, I really fucking like you Billy Hargrove”

He sniffed, his nose scrunching as he looked away, thinking. He felt his eyes gloss over with tears again. He hated crying in front of you. He sniffed again, his face getting more scrunched up as he tried to hold back the tears. he felt your arms wrap around his waist. Your head rest against his chest as you held him. He’d cuddled you before, hell you’d hugged so many times but this felt like more.

He felt the tears fall. You looked up at him and cradled his cheek in your hand. He still looked the other way, he hated you to see him like this.

“I really fucking like you” you whispered he stood stiff, not being used to this full out intimate feeling. He started to blink and shift his head to look down at you. he placed his hand on top of your one which was holding his cheek.

“Im sorry…” he mumbled, his eyes were red and puffy. You nodded.

“I know baby, it’s ok. I believe you over Dana, and im sorry for being impatient, you’re right, we are working on it… slowly but surely” You got on your tip toes to kiss him, he leaned down to meet your lips. you kissed passionately for what felt like hours until Max intervened.

“Finally you’ve made up! Now can we stop being so dramatic and get home because I can’t do much with a skateboard in a wooded area” She held up her skateboard, her eyebrows raised at you both.

“Sometimes I really fucking despise you Maxine, but you get the day off for now” Billy grumbled. His arm wrapping around your waist as you kissed his cheek.

“You need a shower Hargrove, you reek of weed” You giggled into his ear.

“Suppose you’re gonna have to take one with me, make sure im getting the smell out and everything” he mumbled.

“Ugh get a room” Max cringed as she shoved herself back into Billys car. Thank god she’d gotten you two back together otherwise she’d have to listen to (in her opinion) Billys god awful music for hours. she rolled her eyes and smirked at him. As much of a dick he was, he was family now.

#billy hargrove fanfiction #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove x y/n #billy hargrove x you #billy hargrove #billy hargrove fanfic #billy hargrove fluff #billy hargrove angst

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hyunjinssmile · 5 years

Text

[23:24]

Hyunjin - “enemies to lovers?” -anon request

Can i get a hyunjin one where they both think they hate eachother but they love eachother? Smut too please! - anon request

Slight dom!hyunjin, hyunjin x reader, female!reader, oral,fingering+smut

——

The twisting feeling within your stomach was a fight or flight reaction waiting to happen; what was going to happen? Did he really like you, or was jisung lying when he said hyunjin liked you too. You just didnt know. You were at the dorms with the boys, all of you playing games and relaxing after their last comeback- a celebration of sorts, but when jisung noticed the tension between you and hyunjin , he pulled you to the side and talked to you about it, and immediately- you knew tonight was going to change everything. Either good, or bad. At the last party you went to, hyunjin and you were dared to makeout- and you did. For along time. It got quite heated too, but you both stopped due to the presence of so many others. You were also nervous. You didnt want hyunjin to think you didnt want him, but maybe that is what happened as he slowly drifted away from you.

“I kind of like him alot” you said softly, looking at the floor, embarrased but relieved to get it off of your chest. Jisungs smile was incredible as he praised you for telling him, his brotherly presence calming you immediately, that was until he said “he likes you too.” Ofcourse felix had to overhear, coming over to whisper “dont worry, let jisung get you some good dick” making you splutter into your hand, everything was overwhelming, You didnt know how to react to this; he had never seemed like he liked you, especially after the party- he avoided you like the plague. Hyunjin had always talked to you until then- yes, but liked you? He was always talking about other girls infront of you,even after your heated moment, it was as if he hated you.

When Jisung informed you he had a plan for you both, it didnt quite hit you that he was meaning youd be sharing a bed with your crush tonight. “Why?” Hyunjins voice was loud but not too loud as jisung asked him, “Sung, i know but why my bed?” You felt sick. He didnt want you in there, and thats the worst thing to push for- to force him would be horrible. “Fine, but i warned you” he said softer, and you had to pretend like you werent listening when hyunjin walked around the corner, his usual smile back on his face as he walked up to you. “Wanna sleep in my room tonight?” They were the furst words he had said to you since. You couldnt tell how you felt.

It was silent as you both got into his room, you looked down at your clothes, instantly regretting not bringing extra, until you heard a soft sigh, hyunjin opening his drawers before grabbing out a hoodie, holding it out to you before coughing and turning away, scratching the back of his neck.

You took this as a good time to get changed into it, turning away yourself before pulling off your shirt, going to remove your bra before putting the hoodie on. The damn thing wouldnt open, the clasp not budging as you struggled to remove it, and without realising you called out to hyunjin for help, he was with you within a second, surprising you both at his quick reaction. The blush crept up your neck as you saw him in the mirror behind you, his eyes on your figure as he waited for you to ask;

“I- im having trouble undoing the clasp.” You whispered, your words faultering. He looked unreadable, but his fingers moved up to your back, softly and quickly undoing the clip before walking back, the lingering feeling of his fingers on your skin sent jolts through you- what you didnt see was the way he stared at the straps as they fell down your arms, at the blush on your cheeks, and when you thought he wasnt looking- he almost felt bad for watching, but when you dropped the bra to put the hoodie on, the sight of your perky breasts made his mouth dry up. When you dragged the material of your pants down your legs, his eyes followed, your panties visible to him as you beant over. “Is she serious..” he thought to himself as he readjusted himself in his pants.

“Y/n” hyunjins voice caused you to stand up straight, breath hitched. “We need to talk.”

This was it, he was either going to flat out reject you or by some miracle he may feel the same way. “Are you going to ever stop teasing me?” He suddenly said, making you tilt your head in confusion, walking over to where he sat on the bed.

“What do you mea-“ “dont play dumb, ive seen all of it, y/n, ever since we made out, its like you never wanted me. I liked you before we made out- like, really liked you, and when you said that we shouldnt - it hurt, being rejected hurt. But what hurt more was that i still couldnt stop liking you-“

“I like you too. I always have! Hyunjin i said we shouldnt because I didnt want to fuck you infront of your friends-! Then you avoided me like the plague- i thought you hated me, hyunjin! You made me think there was something wrong with me” Your sudden outburst surprised you both , the frustration clear in your voice. It was like it had all clicked for the boy as he realised he definitely overthought it. “Y/n.. there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you, okay? Seriously. Youre amazing. Anyone would be lucky to have you.”

“I dont want just anyone, hyunjin,I like you.”

“So wait, we just both confessed to eachother.”

He was smiling, he couldnt help it, it caused you to smile too. This tension was finally leaving.

“Y/n, I like you, its taking me everything right now not to kiss you-“

“Then do it” was all you said, moving to stand between his legs, his eyes on you as he adored the look of you in his clothing.

You didnt have to tell him twice as he pulled you down to straddle him, his arms around your waist as he pulled you closer, nose touching yours as he pressed his forehead to your own. “Kiss me” was all you said before his lips were back on yours, for the first time since that night, and god it felt good. The hoodie had bunched up around your hips as his hands travelled up and down your sides, toying with the sides of the material of your underwear. His hands trailed up to your breasts beneath the hoodie, breaking the kiss and looking up at you before asking if it was okay, if you wanted to go further. “Ive wanted to since the party” you whispered against his lips, making him chuckle softly, before going back to pressing a soft kiss on your jaw.

“Im gonna fuck you right then baby.”

He didnt give you time to enjoy the petname as he flipped you over beneath him, onto the soft material of his bed, his body moving away from yours for a moment, only to remove his own shirt, your eyes raking over his toned, yet slim body, your eyes darkening with lust, mirroring his own. He moved down to your thighs, pressing soft kisses throuhout the inside areas, before he grabbed the soft material of your panties and pulled them down, exposing you to his hungry eyes.

“Youre so perfect” his said suddenly, making you blush before his lips attached themselves to your clit, earning a breathy whimper from yourself.

His warm tongue licked up your slit before he hooked one of his arms under your thigh, diving back in as if he hadnt eaten in days. His other hand softly prodded at your entrance, one finger pushing its way inside, a deep groan coming from the boy.

“So tight around one finger, how are you gonna take my cock baby?” You respond with another whimper as he sucks your bud into his mouth again, you’re practically shaking around him as he brings you closer to your orgasm. Until he stops.

“Come with my cock,baby.” He says softly as he shoves his jeans down to his thighs along with his boxers. His lips press against yours, both of you tasting your juices as you feel his heavy member touch against your thigh.

“I really do like you.” He says softly, moving a strand of hair from your face, before kissing your cheek. “Ill take you out to lunch tomorrow” he smirks, pushing the tip inside your soaked entrance, watching your face contort.

“If you can still walk.”

He pressed the rest of his member into you, burying his face in your neck as he almost immediately feels like cumming, due to the stretch and warmth of your walls around him, he breathes heavily, and waits for your reaction as to when he can move, his eyes trained on you as you wriggle around beneath him in pleasure at such a stretch, clenching around him, “can - shit- can i move?” He whines softly, placing open mouthed kisses to your neck as he waits for your approval, “god yes- hyunjin- move please!” He drew his hips back, immediately thrusting back within your tight walls, his body caging you into the bed as he fucked you, occasionally watching where his cock disappeared within you, groaning every time. With a particularly hard thrust, you whimpered his name; the sound almost making him short circuit as he did it again and again, hitting that spot until you were grabbing onto him, hands threaded through his soft hair as you clenched hard, your orgasm rolling through you like a tsunami as you shook beneath him, he immediately kissed you as he fucked you through it, reaching his own end not too long after as he lost himself in you, thrusting softly but never quite pulling out. He felt his own cum leak out around his cock and he could help but twitch in arousal at the thought of fucking his own cum back into you, but until you caught your breath, that would have to wait.

“Y/n,” hyunjin began softly, pulling your face so he could look you in the eyes. “This isnt a one time thing. I mean it when i say i like you. Im sorry for misunderstanding, and im sorry i didnt tell you sooner.” The smile that came from you sent his heart into a spiral, a blush tinting your cheeks as you kissed him again softly, moving closer to him, but in that moment it caused for his cock to shift within your walls, making you seize up- biting your lip to stop a whimper. Hyunjin smirked, thrusting into you once to see if he could get you to make some more noise. “Dont worry baby, i warned jisung. I knew that if we were to be in here wed eventually end up making some noise” the cocky smirk made you roll your eyes, but god was it attractive. You clenched your walls around him, causing him to whine softly, a triumphant smirk on your face. “Yeah, we will be making some more noise”

Requests are open now that im back, loves!

Thankyou for the requests so far and all the support! Happy to be back.

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