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grandlinedreams · 2 months

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|| [AS!reader Masterlist]

|| warnings: as!reader, semi reader-centric from Az's viewpoint, more detail to pre-Cauldron meeting, protective Nesta, mentions of previous pieces to this series, little touch of angst, fluff, starfall!fic, mating bond, suggestive, nsfw: piv, unprotected sex (make informed decisions, kids!), soft sex, fingering]

The first time Azriel meets you, you're human. Painfully mortal but beautiful, even for the wary way you watch him from beside your sisters.

He thinks you may orbit closer to how Elain views it all, frightened rather than combative, no teeth on display like Nesta. But you do not shy away, nor do you lash out ㅡ you simply watch. You don't speak, but the protective shift of Nesta, other side of your fair coin, says enough.

He hears you for the first time, however, before they depart. You stand a few feet away, watching him before your lips part.

"For what it's worth," you tell him, "Feyre looks happier now. Happier than she ever was with us." You pause. "I'm glad."

The second time that Azriel sees you, it's as you're being thrown into the Cauldron. You fight much like your sisters, but you still go under ㅡ and reemerge as something you'd never wanted to be.

And just like that, you're launched into Azriel's life with all the force and grace of a shooting star.

"Guess what?"

From the way Cassian is grinning at him, Azriel isn't sure that he wants to know. There are a thousand reasons for him to be looking like that, all amused mischief as his eyes gleam.

"What," he says, weary as Cassian throws an arm around his shoulders.

"Mor told [Name] about how Starfall is coming up," his brother says and while his tone is conversational, there's smug edge to it that makes Azriel want to punch him.

"And?" He prompts, pulling free of Cassian's grip to avoid giving into that temptation.

"Come on," Cassian goads, "it'd be the perfect time to tell her about the mating bond." When Azriel tenses, Cassian gives him a look. "Everyone knows, Az. We can all tell."

The Illyrian doesn't blush outright, but color blooms a little on his cheeks as he counters roughly, "Everyone but [Name]."

Cassian's smile dims. "Well, yeah. But if you told herㅡ"

"No." Azriel's tone is quiet but sharp. "I won't do that to her." He won't force you, refuses to. You've already had so much taken from you, decided for you ㅡ he won't be the one to add more.

He's content with what he has with you now, truly ㅡ even though there have been several instances this last week alone where he's wanted to do nothing but kiss you.

He's waited this long, after all ㅡ what's a little more?

Despite being your twin, it isn't often that Nesta indulges in anything particularly affectionate with you ㅡ so when she offers to braid your hair for Starfall, you accept.

Sitting down in the chair before the vanity in your room, you watch her pluck your brush from the counter before you speak.

"Hey, Nes?" You wait for her soft sound of acknowledgement. "You and Cassian are mates, right? Like Feyre and Rhysand?"

"Yes," she answers slowly, watching you in the mirror ㅡ trying to figure out what you're trying to get at as she sets the brush down and begins finger combing through your hair. "Why?"

Your gaze drops from hers to your fingers, brow furrowing in thought about how to tread forward. "...What...what did the bond feel like?"

Her fingers still in your hair for a moment, and you can feel her gaze on you. Weighing, assessing ㅡ wondering why you're asking. Your gaze doesn't leave your hands. The fingers through your hair resume, sectioning it out.

"I don't know how to put it," she says quietly, quieter than you've ever seen your sister be as she begins plaiting your hair. You lapse into silence, watching her. For all her sharp edges, she's just as beautiful as she's always been ㅡ and you understand why Cassian loves her as fiercely as he does.

She sweeps the braid off your neck, winds it into an elaborate halo the same shade as her own ㅡ pinned into place by a handful of pearl-head pins.

"Like coming home," Nesta finally says, and your eyes lock. "It felt like coming home."

In the countless centuries that he's been alive, Azriel genuinely doesn't think he's ever seen anything as beautiful as you are.

You turn as he approaches, and he forgets how to breathe for a second, heart stuttering in his chest. Silhouetted against the night sky, your dress shimmers like liquid starlight ㅡ but his eyes flick to your earrings, the necklace that rests against your collarbone. Both are deep blue ㅡ the same shade as his siphons, his Starfall gift to you.

He tries not to read into it, even for the way it sends his heart beating faster at the idea of the subtle claim to you.

"There you are," you say as he approaches, "I was waiting for you."

"I was looking for you," he counters, smile tugging at his lips as you answer with your own, and when he reaches the railing of the balcony, you slip to stand beside him. "Not one for parties?"

"Not really," you admit. It'd taken a hearty glass of wine from Mor to keep you from changing your mind and hiding in your room ㅡ and even now, the slow sweep of Azriel's eyes over you makes nerves buzz beneath your skin.

Turning away for a moment, you pluck the neatly wrapped parcel from beside you and present it to him, trying to keep your voice steady. "This is for you."

Azriel blinks and then reaches to take it from you, paper crinkling beneath his fingers. "You didn't have to."

"I wanted to," you say, trying not to think of the other parcel still on your bed, neatly tied with a bow. Instead, you busy yourself with watching as Azriel tugs the paper free carefully, popping the box open.

It's a sheath. Made of dark to match his fighting leathers, polished metal clasps wink dully in the light, and words are tumbling from your lips before you can stop them.

"It's for Truth-teller," you say, resisting the urge to wring your hands, "I saw some like it at a shop and went in to ask if it'd be possible to make one custom."

Hope sparks in Azriel's veins, sings at the fact you had it made especially for him. "It's beautiful," he murmurs. "Thank-you."

Relief floods you, but you're not done yet. You exhale softly, steeling yourself. "There's something I wanted to talk to you about, actually."

Azriel stills.

"I'm still adjusting to all of...this," you say, gesturing vaguely, "but it's been easier for me, because of you. I appreciate what you've done for me. And I ㅡ I'm not sure if I really understand the whole concept of mates, but.." You can feel his attention on you, unfaltering as you force yourself to meet his eyes. "You make me feel safe in ways nobody else has, and I ㅡ I love you, Azriel."

Azriel stares at you. And for one horrifyingly too-still moment, you think he's going to reject you. That you're wrong, that the pull you've felt has been all you ㅡ and then he's kissing you.

His hands, scarred and just as beautiful as the rest of him, cup your face gently as you lean into him with wordlessly eager curl of your own fingers into his shirt.

Idly, Azriel notes that the stars have begun their yearly descent, but neither it nor the sweet strains of music matter when your lips are so soft against his.

"We are," he murmurs against your mouth when he finally convinces himself to pull away, wiping at the tears that slip from your eyes. "Mates. I've known for a while."

You blink up at him. "How long have you known?"

He thumbs at the soft plush of your cheek. "Since that first time I took you for a flight at night."

Your lips tremble. "Oh," you say. "Oh."

And then you're crying again, and Azriel is all too happy to kiss every single tear away.

If he died right now, he'd die content.

You're against him in the way he's only allowed himself to dream about, face tucked into his neck and breathing steady, heartbeat a perfect match for his.

Gone is your dress, draped against a chair in your room, swapped for the comfort of a sweater of his, black material that drapes to your mid thigh and wreaths you in his scent. The earrings and necklace have stayed, and he'd be lying if he said it doesn't feed into that instinctive, territorial need.

"Still have something for you," you mumble, half-asleep lilt to your tone that makes him squeeze you to him tighter before he relents, letting you pull away from him.

"You're going to spoil me," he says, and you huff a soft laugh.

"Maybe you deserve to be," you answer with a gentle tug to that bond, one that he answers in kind. You return with a small box, presenting it to him with the glimmer of starlight in your eyes as he sits up.

The ribbon wound around it is also blue, a touch that makes his lips quirk before he's opening it. Nestled in the middle is a tiny tart of flaky crust and mixed berries, sugar sprinkled carefully over it.

"I was told that I had to offer you food to show that I accepted the bond," you say, quiet as you watch him pull the tart from the box. "Hopefully it tastes as good as it looks?"

Azriel blinks. "You made this?"

You nod. "Before everything," you say, voice quiet, "when we were still...I used to sneak down to the kitchen and watch the cooks."

Azriel brings the tart to his lips. It's sweet, the crust crisp ㅡ but more than that, he lives for the way your eyes light up, the happiness that vibrates down the bond and magnifies his own.

He swears he'll do whatever he has to in order to keep seeing that beautiful smile of yours.

"Come here," he murmurs, opens his arms for you as you crawl back onto the bed to fold yourself back against him ㅡ and then his fingers are under your chin, tilting your head up for a kiss.

Kissing Azriel is something that you're absolutely certain that you'll never get tired of. The kiss deepens, and he tastes of berries and sugar, making your head spin more than wine ever has.

The creep of his fingertips against your bare legs makes you shiver and press into him, soft noise leaving your lips. Azriel's hands curl against your legs for a moment before he's kissing you harder, a little rougher ㅡ and then he's turning, pressing you into your bed as his mouth leaves yours.

The work of his teeth against your pulse makes you jolt with a soft moan, and you're squirming by the time he pulls away to look at his handiwork, pupils almost engulfing his iris. "Beautiful," he rasps, and you reach to pull him back against you.

Your fingers slip beneath his shirt to span against toned muscle and warm skin, delighting in every twitch and shiver you get as you explore.

There are slots in it to allow his wings, and you slip your hands free so that he can remove his shirt before you're touching him again. Your fingers trace the dark whorls of ink over his shoulders, following the delicate curls until he's pinning your arms above your head.

"If you keep touching me like that," he tells you, "I'm going to lose my mind."

Slotted between your legs, you can feel the hard press of him against your inner thigh, and he groans when you arch into him.

One hand keeps your wrists above your head as the other shoves the material of his sweater up, pulling until he's tossing it over the edge of the bed.

The soft sound he gets when he palms at your breast makes him wonder if he can come from just your noises alone ㅡ and then he's mouthing at your ribs, kissing against your navel and then back up to your lips.

The kiss is deceptively sweet for how he pairs it with the slip of his hand between your legs, groaning at the abundant arousal that wets his fingers.

A choked moan leaves your lips as he slides a finger into you, the pulsing clamp of your walls around the intrusion as your brow knits, hips jerking against the exploratory thrust of his digit, soon joined by a second.

You pant as he works you open, the curl and spread of Azriel's fingers making you writhe as pleasure pools in your lower belly.

Azriel doesn't miss a thing, taking in every little twitch of your body, the sounds that you make ㅡ committing it all to memory. It's all far better than what he'd imagined, and his name has never sounded better than when it spills from your lips as you tighten around his fingers.

He eases you through the pleasure that sweeps over you, murmuring such soft praise into your skin that your chest aches. His fingers slip out of you, your whine of protest cut short by the way he kisses you soundly.

There's the gentle coax of your legs to part them a little further ㅡ and then he's bare against you, nudging at your slick folds before he sinks into you.

Light sparks at your fingertips, calmed by the slot of Azriel's fingers between yours, pushing them down into the bed beside your head as his hips roll against yours.

Azriel takes his time with you. He keeps his pace steady and languid, the creak of the bed beneath you and your shared moans a quiet symphony he wants to hear for eternity.

Your pleasure crests a second time with the warmth of his mouth at your breast and this time you take him with you, the hot spill of him making you whine his name ever so sweetly.

He takes you two more times after that, finishing with you splayed out over him, your backdrop the night sky beyond your window as you put all the stars to shame.

#ㅡmine.#acotar x reader #azriel shadowsinger x reader #azriel x reader #az x reader #i'm going to bed now i'm tired

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azsazz · 4 months

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Little Sneak

Daddy!Azriel x Mommy!Reader [Zuzu Centric]

Summary: Anon Req: What about a part 2 to Sticking Together where all the children are older and Zuzu is upset about not being able to go to the camps like her brothers and cousins. Maybe she ends up sneaking off and gets hurt or something. Some lovely angst would be appreciated. Only if you want to of course, pls and thank you.

Warnings: Angst, suggestions of a child going to be harmed (child is not actually harmed)

Word Count: 2,357

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“Why must all my children defy me?” Azriel questions, pacing the length of the room. You’re almost dizzy with it, how long his strides are and how short the path he’s making is. He’s nearly turning in circles now, wings flared with agitation, growing larger and larger the more he works himself up. When he nearly knocks a lamp burning low with a single faelight over, you slip from the bed.

You halt your mate with a soft hand to his shoulder. His wings tuck in tight, not because you’re going to touch them, because his body automatically moves to give you room. You take it, curling yourself against his chest, hands snaking around his waist and thumbing soothing patterns across the dip of his back.

You can feel his muscles contract as he shifts his wings to cocoon the both of you. Darkness shrouds you, but the light casts red through the membranous skin.

It’s a safe place for the both of you, tucked away from the rest of the world without actually removing yourselves from situations where you’re needed. You and Azriel had found yourselves in this position many times—when you first found out you were pregnant with Wren and Azriel was worried you’d have trouble delivering a babe with wings, when Baz nearly burned his hand on an unattended fire. When you had found out that Knox wasn’t going to be able to speak, and when your eldest sons wanted to be allowed to train in the Illyrian camps.

It’s funny that you find yourself here for the exact same reason. Your daughter, Zuzu, Mother bless her, yearns to join her brothers. Both Wren and Baz have completed a year, along with Nyx and Gideon. The four have formed a group just as their fathers had, not taking anyone’s shit no matter how much larger in size they may be. With the High Lord on their side, the young boys got away with much more than they should, though Rhysand does his best not to stick his nose into matters that should be left to camp leaders.

They’ve found their places as young warriors, and though they often get into trouble, you and Azriel are able to spend more time in Velaris, working on a schedule with both Cassian and Rhys, so that one of them is always staying in the family cabins when the boys are in training.

The beat of Azriel’s steady heart is strong, comforting, even though you know he feels as helpless as you do. Each and every one of your children are as stubborn as their father, even the more stoic of the six, like Jax and the twins. Malos could hold a grudge for ages, even against her own siblings. And poor Azriel refuses to admit that it’s a trait he’s bestowed upon the shadowsinger clan.

You squeeze your mate tighter, breathing in his comforting scent. Night-chilled mist from the long fly he’d had to take when Zuzu had told him the news. He hadn’t wanted to hear any part of it; his firstborn daughter wanted to train with males in the camps that will do nothing to look after her well-being. They won’t care if she’s beaten into the snow until she’s unable to move, if she can train as hard as the males, if she can do aerial maneuvers better than them. All they’ll see is a little girl who should be put in her place by the only means they know how.

The females won’t take kindly to her either. They’ll likely be jealous of the girl who’s wings are in perfect shape, who has the ability to fly and train and doesn’t have to spend back-breaking hours washing or cooking. No one but her brothers and cousins will be nice to her.

But she’s determined and headstrong. She’d confided in you first, and while you’d tried to talk her into joining Valkyrie training, she insisted that if there were young girls here willing to fight and join such a cause, why wouldn’t they extend the opportunity to those in the mountains? Your heart aches for your little girl, who wants to see the best in people, give them the chances they’ve long since needed. If she can encourage a single girl in the camps to join them as warriors, she will be proud.

“She means well,” you sigh against Azriel’s chest, hugging him tighter.

“Does she have to mean this well?” he asks, exasperation lining the frown on his face. He rubs your back in a soothing motion, and you know it’s helping him as much as it helps you. His chin rests on top of your head and a moment of silence stretches on as his shadows crawl from the walls, whispering in his ears, reporting back to him on how all of his children are under one roof, sleeping peacefully in their beds. “In a few years, Asteria will want to follow, and I think Rhys will actually kill me.”

“I won’t let him,” you grumble stubbornly, but it doesn’t carve a smile on Azriel’s face like it normally would. “And neither will Zuz.”

All your mate can do is sigh and hold you closer. “I hate that they’re growing up.”

“Me too,” you answer sadly, rocking in place with Az. He caresses the nape of your neck, tilting your face to meet his sad, hazel gaze. “Why didn’t anyone prepare us for the part where our children start growing up?”

Azriel shakes his head, dipping down to kiss you softly, tenderly. You are always his rock in the storms of his life. Always will be.

“I don’t know,” he pecks you on the mouth again, and there’s a glint in his eyes that has your body growing warm. “I do know that we can have another. Then we’ll have a little babe. It will make me feel like I’m not so old, that our youngest aren’t five-years-old.” He says it with a grimace.

The time is flying by, watching your children grow. Wren is a teenager now. A teenager, Mother help you all. And Baz is only growing rowdier with age. Zuzu wants to join her brothers and cousins in the camps, and Jax is still the stoic little boy you’ve ever seen, focused on working through his powers daily. He still struggles sometimes, needs to cuddle up with his father or you for a moment's peace, and he hasn’t shown any interest in being a warrior like his elder siblings, though if Azriel allows Zuzu to join, you’re sure he won’t be far along after. The twins are as inseparable as ever, stirring up mischief with their pesky little shadows. It’s nice to have them all still so close, but you know it won’t be that way soon.

“Can you imagine another one?” You ask, amused at the thought. More chaos, and you’re not entirely sure how your six children would react. You already have so many, what would they think?

“Yes,” Azriel answers, tone heated. He presses his hips more firmly against your own and you can feel the hardness of his cock in his pants. It makes your thighs go molten, especially when he’s looking at you like that. Like he’s going to both devour and worship you all night long. “Let’s put this conversation on hold.”

You can’t disagree with that.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•

His shadows wake him up.

Azriel has gotten used to their presence, but his body is accustomed to them, awakening at the slightest sort of unease from them. Like right now.

He bolts from the bed, awakening you in the process. He almost feels bad at the hammering of your heart he can feel echoing in his chest, if it weren’t for the fact that he’s been alerted that one of his children is currently missing from his home, and she hasn’t been located in the darkness of the camp yet.

“What’s going on?” You’re alert now. There’s something seriously wrong, by the look on Azriel’s face. The way that it’s set in stone yet his brows are furrowed with worry. Not the kind of worry where something is amiss in Velaris, but it looks like he had when Knox had been taken from you, the horror riddling his hazel gaze makes your stomach plummet.

“Zuzu isn’t in her bed,” Azriel answers, and he’s already dressed and heading out into the cold. You don’t expect him to wait for you, the both of you have a way of attacking these things as a team now, and you’re safer here with the rest of the children, anyway, and he curses himself once again for allowing his children to train at the Illyrian camps.

He doesn’t know how she’s managed to evade his shadows this time. His children are sneaky, quickly learning and testing how to keep from his radar, but Azriel is 500 years old and prides himself on his alertness.

Up until now.

He doesn’t even know where to begin. His mind is a mess with ‘what if’s’ and he can’t allow himself to begin pulling at that thread or he might very well decimate this entire camp.

He very well might, anyway.

Azriel’s already reaching out to Rhysand, waking him from his deep slumber and alerting the Inner Circle. He knows the High Lord will be here within minutes on a plume of black that no one wants to see. Zuzu has been Rhysand’s favorite from the moment she decided to toddle behind him into the longest meeting he’s ever had the displeasure of attending. But Zuzu had made it bearable, sitting in his lap and cuddling up in his arms like he wasn’t discussing convicts in the Prison nor how his armies might be able to help Springs.

A soft yelp is carried on a wisp of darkness from his shadows, his head whipping to where they’re alerting him. It’s Zuzu, and she’s whimpering a little as sharp nails dig into her coat, despite the thick jacket she’s pulled haphazardly around her shoulders. Her boots are untied, and the powdery snow is downtrodden with her footprints.

Azriel moves as quick as the night. He’s known for being undetectable, a whisper of a chilled breeze chasing through the trees. Tonight, though, he doesn’t mask the crunch of his boots in the snow, doesn’t smother the bright blue beaming from the seven stones adorning his armor. His knives are unsheathed at his side, steel singing for the promise of blood.

There’s a soft sound, like his daughter's cry has been muffled, and it fuels his anger, letting his body fill with black ink. It spills off of Azriel in waves, a death god come to seek his vengeance.

The clearing is a circlet of trees and fresh snow. The moon drips down into the open field, where Zuzu scratches at her captor. The female trying to pin his little girl to the ground hisses as her skin breaks beneath Zuzu’s nails. Azriel’s heart swells with pride as his daughter fights back, but this moment alone has made him realize that she does need proper training, and if she wants to join the ranks with her brothers and show all of these Illyrian swill what she’s made of, she will get that.

Azriel doesn’t recognize the female as he rips her away from his daughter by a fistful of hair. The female yelps in surprise, then screams in fear as she topples backwards, the avenging shadowsinger towering over her.

As if she thought she could get away with attempting to harm one of his children.

He feels the night air shifting behind him as he makes sure that his daughter is okay. Rhysand and Cassian appear before the female can gain her footing and take off, Cassian planting a foot in the middle of her back to keep her pinned to the frozen ground while Azriel consoles his daughter. Zuzu’s sniveling, fat tears rolling down her red cheeks as they escape. She doesn’t want to cry, she doesn’t want to show her father that she’s scared, but they fall without her permission anyway.

“I’m sorry, daddy.”

Azriel’s heart cracks a little, molten lava of anger filling the cracks. This female won’t last the fucking night. And if she does, it’s because he’s going to make her death last as long as possible for even thinking of touching his daughter. For making her cry.

He hushes her, a soft noise that makes her clutch onto his shoulders tighter. Azriel’s not wearing a coat, but he’s used to the temperatures, and the adrenaline rushing through his veins helps quell the bitter chill. He sends a reassuring feeling down the bond to you and your relief flushes his body tenfold, his shoulders dropping slightly.

“Are you okay, my love?” Azriel asks her, wiping the tears from Zuzu’s eyes. He swings her up into his arms, pressing gentle kisses to her forehead as he pins the female to her spot in the snow with furious golden eyes. “Are you hurt?”

Zuzu shakes her head and his knees nearly give out with relief. He sways them back and forth, whispering reassurances into Zuzu’s ears until she’s calmed down, before passing her off to Rhys who holds her just as tightly.

“Uncle Rhys is going to take you back to mommy, okay, Zuz? I’ll be back in a little bit.”

She agrees, blinking up at him with her big eyes. Azriel watches her try to look over her uncle's shoulder to see the female spitting vitriol at Cassian. Rhys doesn’t allow her gaze to see what’s going on over there, instead drawing her attention to him, shifting her so she can’t see, and disappearing into the night to bring Zuzu home.

Cassian crouches down to the female, grinding her face into the snow to stop the comments spewing from her lips. He whispers something so low that makes her entire body freeze, then thrash as if she actually has a chance of escaping.

Azriel steps up to her, a murderous look in his eyes, and he lets his blades do the talking.

#azriel x reader #acotar #azsazz #acomaf #acowar #azriel #azriel/reader #daddy!azriel #azsazz zuzu

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skyjasper · 2 months

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Betray You Like A Man.

Azriel X Rhys sister oc (but Rhys Centric kinda?! Rhys and Az angst?)

Summary: HOFAS bonus chapter inspired. Azriel and his mate Y/N Moonbeam aka Rhysands little sister have been hiding for over 50 years. When her older brother finds out he is anything but happy.

Masterlist

Warnings: mentions of SA, Yelling, lots and lots of Angst, quite Az.

Words: 1,382.

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She and Azriel had been seeing each other secretly for over 50 years now. They had been through hell and back together, finding out about Rhysand under the mountain, Supporting her brother with his mate, fighting a damned war, and even finding out they were mates. Not once did either of them let on to their secret relationship, always passing each other with cold glances and curt words. The only form of kindness shown was on important occasions. But the minute they were alone, when they got back to their secret apartment, they were perfectly fine.

That was until Rhysand barged into Azriel’s apartment yelling something about Nesta telling Feyre something about their babe and found the two of them laying on the floor. Y/N reading and Azriel mulling over paperwork with a biscuit. In an instant, albeit a second too late, Azriel’s wing was covering her. Rhysands words fell away and he stood still, she could see him just barely through her mate's wing but she knew that her older brother could smell her.

“Azriel,” Rhysand growled out. With a knowing sight, Azriel released his wing that covered Y/N’s frame, not hiding her wings.

The moment Rhysands eyes found her matching violet ones he turned and walked out, slamming the door. She turned her head to her mate whose eyes were glazed over in silent conversation, she decided to listen to what Rhys had told him.

“Do we go? We should probably give him time to calm down shouldn’t we?” She asked, staring at Azriel’s golden eyes. He just nodded quietly.

Silently and with deathly calmness they gathered themselves and flew to the river house. She winced as they walked in the door, taking in the ruined vases and the loud shouting of her other brother and sister trying to calm Rhysand down.

“I DO NOT CARE. THAT IS MY SISTER.” He screamed at Cassian. She turned to Azriel, putting a hand on his chest to stop him,

“Maybe I should go in there alone.” She offered. And with a short nod he agreed, before she could walk away he grabbed her arm, and with a deadly voice he spoke,

“If he even thinks about yelling at you I will be in there. I will just be right outside.” Then he let go so she could enter the room. When she did she gasped at the sight of her older brother.

“Rhysand,” she spoke firmly, only slightly scared as his raging eyes turned on her.

“Is that bastard here?!” He spoke.

“It doesn’t matter, Rhysand.” She went to place her hand on his arm when he flinched away and stared at her with disgust.

“Don’t even get me started on you.” He raised his voice, tears springing to her eyes at his reaction. The pair of them had always been as thick as thieves, never staying mad, and definitely never yelling at each other like this.

In an instant, Azriel was behind her, hands on her waist to inform her he was behind her. Her brother didn’t even glance at the male behind her before continuing,

“I can’t believe you slept with my brother like some common whore.” He spat out like a slap in the face, he knew what she had been through, what she had done for him while he was under the mountain. A cry fell out of her mouth, his words inflicting more pain than any physical blow could.

Before she could say anything the entire room went still, the bottom half of the room covered in angry shadows. Before she could blink her mate had her brother around the throat against the wall.

“Be very careful how you talk about my mate,” Azriel growled, she could feel his anger festering through the bond. She sent a comforting phantom hand over his shoulder.

“Your mate?!” Rhysand laughed, “That’s hilarious brother, no one could ever love a bastard like you. We all know it, just admit it Azriel, you aren’t capable of loving a female.”

And then it was Y/N who was on top of her brother, facing him with a slap that resonated throughout the entire room. Not a single soul spoke as the sound of flesh meeting flesh echoed through the room. Not even Feyre said anything as her sister-in-law hit her mate.

“Fuck you Rhysand.” She yelled. “Fuck you for reacting like this! You are nothing but a cowardly piece of shit. You blame everyone else for everything that is your fault. Did you ever stop and think as to why we didn’t tell you?!” She yelled, Rhysands mouth opened to respond but she continued, “No Rhysand, you don’t get to speak. Maybe if for once in your godsforsaken life actually looked at anyone other than your mate you see that the people around you are going through shit! You would see the face that Elain is on the verge of breaking, that Nesta was going through something none of us could possibly imagine, that Cassian was coping and that I, your fucking sister, was traumatized. I get it Rhysand, what you went through under the mountain, trust me I get it, but it does not give you the right to treat everyone else like shit because they don’t react the same way you do to trauma. You do not get to sit here and act like my brother trying to defend my honor when you haven’t actually acted like a decent brother for the past 3 years!” She screamed in his face.

She gave him one more resounding slap before standing up and finding Azriels hands.

“Do not come find us brother, for I do not want to see your pitiful face.”

Then, hand in hand with her mate, they left. They both flew, flew for hours till they were at the cabin Azriel had built for his mother before she passed. When they arrived and got out of the cold she sunk to her knees, tears finally flowing.

Az’s rough hands came to hold her face, “Shh my love, he is not worthy of your tears.” He murmured into her hair. Instead of trying to calm her again he just let her cry, not once letting her go, instead instructing his shadows to gather water and blankets.

So she fell asleep crying in his arms over the hurt her brother had caused. And when she woke she found Azriel’s dark hair. She stared at him as her fingers twirled in the onyx strands.

“You know what he said wasn’t true right, you know how to love and you are worthy of it Azriel. You and I are the proof, this right here,” she gestured in between the two, lightly pulling on the golden ribbon that flowed between them. “This is the proof. I love you beyond words Azriel. I know you feel the same shadow singer.” She told him. Observing as his hands tightened around her waist. They had both suffered far too much to let the words of her cruel brother diminish all the progress they had made.

It wasn’t easy at the beginning, getting Azriel to open up and come to accept himself. It took him years to realize he was worthy of her love. That he wasn’t a broken bastard.

“I love you beyond the sun and the stars, I would travel worlds for you Azriel. And if the stars would vanish then I would voyage through the darkness with nothing but my bare hands to find you.” She whispered, “I would rip the wings off my back if yours were ruined because I know how much you need to fly. I would kill gods and kings alike to ensure you are safe. For as long as I am alive you will no longer be alone ever again, you will always be loved. I will always love every part of you.” She brought his scarred hands to her lips and kissed the skin on them. When she released his hands her lips found his mouth.

“There are not enough words in this world for me to express my love for you Y/N Moonbeam, So instead let me show you.” He spoke against her lips before moving his kiss down her neck.

And show her he did.

Taglist:

@littlelunatica @going-through-shit @annaaaaa88 @i-am-infinite @impossibelle

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kale-theteaqueen · 6 months

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A03 Masterlist

A list of all my worked completed and ongoing in the ACOTAR-verse!

Nessian

Post-ACOMAF:

Will You Let Me Hold You? -- Submission for day 4 of Nesta Appreciation Week 2024, a 5+1 of times Cassian shows Nesta physical touch, and one time she reciprocates. Nessian. One shot, completed.

Post-ACOWAR:

Lady Death and Her Kingdom -- Nessian in which Nesta sees the dead, multichapter fic, ongoing

And Now She Becomes Death -- Nessian, in which Hybern revenge kidnaps Nesta for beheading the king, multichapter fic, ongoing.

Post-ACOFAS

To Pay a Debt --Nessian, in which Nesta leaves Velaris after seeing that she hasn't been included in Feyre's paintings, but her mother has, multichapter fic, ongoing (also includes gwynriel, nezriel brotp, Archeron sisters, Valkyries)

The Whole Truth -- Nessian, in which Elain reveals that their father sold Nesta multiple times when they lived in the cabin, multichapter fic, ongoing (also includes nezriel brotp, rhysta brotp, and focus on the Archeron sisters)

Post-ACOSF/ACOSF-Fix It

Burning From the Inside Out -- Nessian, in which it is revealed that Nesta has chronic pain/illness, multichapter fic, completed, (also includes gwynriel, Valkyries, Archeron Sisters)

The Hike, Alternatively -- Nessian, alternative take on the hike, in which Nesta attempts suicide, multichapter fic, completed (also includes nezriel brotp, nesszriel brot3)

Of Death and Resurrection, Nessian/Rhysta Brotp, in which Nesta sacrifices her life to save Feyre, but can't be fully killed due to her power, thus requiring Rhys to go into her mind to save her, multichapter fic, completed (Also includes gwynriel, feysand, Valkyries, nezriel brotp)

Of Open Wounds and Retribution, Nessian, set in the ODaR-verse in which Nesta meets Tomas Mandray at a peace summit between humans and fae, and the family discovers what he did to her, two shot, completed (bonus chapter in progress) (includes feyre/nesta relationship, Rhysta brotp, feysand, nezriel brotp)

The Consequences of Normality, Nessian, in which Nesta tries to conform to IC expectations post-ACOSF, and Cassian realizes that he prioritizes them over her, three shot, completed (bonus POVs in progress) (also includes Valkyries, Nezriel brotp)

Like Fire, She Raged -- Nessian (ish), In which Emerie calls out the IC for their treatment of Nesta/treatment of Illyrian females, two-shot, completed (also includes Valkyries)

Three Little Words -- Nessian, in which Nesta asks Cassian if he loves her, because he didn't say it during ACOSF, one shot, completed. (also includes bat boys, Valkyries)

Modern AUs

The Humble Art of Gift Giving -- Gift for ACOTAR Secret Santa, in which Nesta takes gift giving very, very seriously, and Cassian loves her all the more for it. One shot, completed.

Nesta-Centric

Moments in the Evolution of Nesta Archeron -- Submission for day 2 of Nesta Appreciation Week 2024, consisting of snippets in Nesta's life from childhood to post canon. Spoilers for HOFAS, includes nessian at the end. One shot, completed.

A Practice in Self Care -- Submission for day 3 of Nesta Appreciation Week 2024, in which Nesta is learning self care. Post- ACOSF. Nessian. One shot, completed.

Wolf Mentality, to a Fault -- Submission for Day 5 of Nesta Appreciation Week 2024, 3+1 of times Nesta self sacrifices to protect her family, and one time they return the favor. Post-ACOSF, mild HOFAS spoilers. Nessian. One shot, completed.

A Quiet Kind of Birthday Girl -- Submission for Day 6 of Nesta Appreciation Week 2024, in which Nesta kept her birthday a secret and once her family found out, received a big birthday bash. However, in the quiet moments afterwards, she struggles to feel she deserved it. Post-ACOSF. Nessian. One shot, completed.

Gwynriel

Of Shadows and Light, Gwynriel, a sequel to Of Death and Resurrection that follows the development of Azriel and Gwyn's relationsip, multichapter fic, completed (includes nessian, mor/emerie, feysand, Archeron sisters, Valkyries, nezriel brotp, rhysta brotp, bat boys)

#acotar #acotar fanfiction #acotar series #a court of silver flames #acosf #nesta archeron #nessian #nesta x cassian #azriel x gwyn #gwynriel #masterlist #fic masterlist #archive of our own

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gingersnappish · 2 months

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The 2024 Fandom Trumps Hate Charity Auction is LIVE!!!

Bidding runs 5th March 8am EST to 9th March 8 pm EST!

@fandomtrumpshate is an online multi-fandom auction that benefits a lot of progressive non-profit organizations! Fans 'bid' to donate directly to a listed charity and the winning bidder receives a thank you gift for their donation in the form of the personalized fan work- You can read about exactly how it works HERE and see the FULL LIST OF NON-PROFITS!

Star Wars Fandom has a lot of really lovely works being offered this year - 34 creators are offering their time and talents as a big thank you to the winning bidders for their donations! Please, check them out!

And then...

Help out some wonderful progressive charities (and get a lovely custom fanwork as a thank you gift !

The following are brief summaries and not comprehensive. Please read the full offerings before bidding! The full Star Wars TAG contains all the following listings in their entirety!

Written Fanworks

@shadow-spires is offering a <5K piece for Prequel Trilogy or The Clone Wars! Loves working with Cody, clone culture, and fix-its, AUs, angst with happy endings, and more!

@marroniere is offering 20-50K for Andor, Thrawn Trilogy (new canon), Thrawn Ascendancy, or Ahsoka! Especially interested in anything Thrawn and Chiss, as well as Mon and Cassian from Andor! Versatile in genre and focussed on how characters relate to one another and heal!

finkpishnets is offering 5-10K for Prequel Trilogy or Clone Wars! Happy to work with Obi-Wan/Anakin or Obi-Wan/Cody in canon, diveregent, or AU settings! (also comfortably familiar with the Kenobi series canon)

@dirtbag-linecook-kyloren is offereing 5K per $10 donated! Sequel Trilogy Kylux author specializing in Modern AUs!

@captainlilja is offering 5-10K for Sequel Trilogy or Rebels! Especially interested in Finn/Poe, Finn/Poe/Rey, Zeb/Kallus, Hera/Kanan and happy to work with AroAce characters, AUs, fluff, and kinky-fluff where everybody is in love!

blackat_t7t is offering 5-10K for Book of Boba Fett, Clone Wars, or Mandalorian! Interested in M/M or Genfic, Angst, canon-divergent AUs, anything with a Clones focus or BobaDinn! Also appreciates rairpairs and characters!

Tathrin is offering 5-10K for any of the Trilogies and/or Legends/Extended Universe! Enthusiastic about world-building and plot and queering canon! Classic Legends stuff is a favorite, with a love for snubfighter pilots, YJKs, Leia, nb-Revan, and original flavor Boba Fett!

hoebiwan is offering 5-10K for Original and Prequel Trilogies or Legends/Extended Universe! Interested in crack, grief, recovery, anxiety, trans and queer themes!

@geekymoviemom is offering 5-10K for Prequel Trilogy, Clone Wars, Rebels, or Rogue One! Happy to write Anakin/Padme, Cassian/Jyn, Obi-wan & Anakin, Kanan & Ezra, and family stuff for Clone Wars and Rebels Fam! Canon-divergent or in-universe AUs please!

@treescape is offering <5K for any Star Wars! Familiar with all eras and happy to work with most characters or pairs!

@xenomorphic-warrior is offering 10-20K for Original or Prequel Trilogy, Andor, Clone Wars, Mandolorian, Kenobi, and Rogue One! Especially interested in Cody/Obi-wan, Bariss/Ahsoka, Din/Cobb, Lando/Han, Lando/Leia/Han, Cassian/Jyn, Cassian/Jyn/Bohdi, Cassian/Kino and are fond of speculative AUs like horror and sci-fi, mythology, and canon-divergence!

van1lla_v1lla1n is offering <5K for the Sequel Trilogy! Enthusiastic about Rey/Kylo (one or both of them queer) and will write in canonverse or modern AUs! Likes to work with erotic and heavier themes, ambiguous endings!

solas_oiche is offering 10-20K for any Star Wars! Enthusiastic about anything Ahsoka-centric and open to themes and tropes you may want to see!

Kartaylir is offering <5K for Legends/Extended Universe and the Old Republic! Especially interested F/F, darker themes, world-building, and weird lore details! Familiar with Thrawn Trilogy, Shadows of the Empire, and Tales of the Jedi comics, KOTOR, and have written lots for SWTOR!

Ninja is offering 5-10K for Original or Prequel Trilogies, or Mandolorian! Especially interested in working with Fluff, H/C, happy endings, magic, plot twists, crack, and humor! Loves zany hijinks! Good at taking an initial prompt and running with it!

@s-c-g-s-c-g is offering <5K for Prequel Trilogy, Clone Wars, and Legends/Extended Universe! Especially interested in Jedi characters, pre-quel era fic, gen, bonding, H/C, canon-adjacent AUs, and found family! Primarily experienced writing Gen but open to some rairpairs!

Ternary is offering <5K for Prequel Trilogy and Clone Wars! Likes queer themes, ace&aro themes, and exploring disability themes, as well as trauma-recovery, and emotional H/C! Interested in Obi-Wan’s Legends padawanship, Obi-Wan/Quinlan, Obi-Wan/Cody, Quinlan/Fox!

geniecat2 is offering 5-10K words for the Prequel Trilogy, Book of Boba Fett, or Clone Wars! Especially interested in the AceAre spectrum, found family, platonic and romantic CodyWan, Jangobi, and lineage exploration, as well as Clone and Jedi appreciation, JediCorps too!

@musetotheworld is offering 5-10K for the Original and Prequel Trilogies, and Legends/Extended Universe! Loves Legends-inspired plots and has read most of the Legends books! Experience with writing F/F ships, M/F is fine too, also cool with AUs!

Stens_McHenry is offering 5-10K for All Trilogies, Book of Boba Fett, Mandolorian, and Kenobi! Prefers to write M/M ships and happy to work with AUs and canon-adjacent/divergent works!

MaudeZbornak is offering scaled-by-donation wordcount ($5 = minimum 5K) for All Trilogies, Book of Boba Fett, Mandolorian, and Kenobi! Happy to work with any pairing for Star Wars and welcomes detailed prompts!

thebeespatella is offering scaled-by-donation wordcount ($10 = 1K) for Andor, Clone Wars, and Rogue One! Especially interested in F/F, trans/gender and exploring corporate surveillance, identity and conformity, colonialism/diaspora, radicalization, trauma, moral injury, and interfacing with technology (cybogs)! Likes Clone troopers, clone culture and clone ships, Imperial/Rebellion era, and spy/thriller AUs! Experienced writer of Cody/Rex!

MayQueen517CactusDragon517 is offering <5K words for the Original and Sequel Trilogies, Rogue One, or Solo! Open to many ideas, smut included! Likes exploring alternative identities like a trans or non-binary or ace/aro interpretation of a character! Likes to communicate lots with their winning bidder, building ideas and sharing snippets!

@elthadriel is offering scaled-by-donation wordcount ($10 = 1K up to 10K) for Clone Wars! Especially interested in Clone troopers and their culture and ships, Imperial/rebellion era, missing war scenes, PWP, Cowboy AUs, bittersweet vibes, Cody/Rex, Echo/Fives/Fox, Thorn/Fox, Rex/Fives/Echo/Cody, Cody/Fox, Ahsoka/Bariss, Bly/Aayla, Cody/Maul!

@cabezadeperro is offering <5K for Prequel Trilogy, Clone Wars, Legends/Extended Universe! Interested in open endings, Imperial era, missing war scenes, cloneships, Jango Fett/Obi-Wan, canon divergence, complicated relationships, codex, Fives/Echo/Fox, Cody/Fox, rewalker, qi’rahsoka!

darktenshi17 is offering two auctions for 5-10K fics for the Sequel Trilogy as well as the Original Trilogy! Open to most ideas (with the exception of Kylo/Rey) and interested in working with F/F, polyships, genderswap, trans or nonbinary characters, unhappy or ambiguous endings!

commanderdameron is offering 10-20K for the Prequel or Sequel Trilogies or Kenobi! Loves character and relationship studies! Interested in exploring canon in more plot-centric ways and excited about world-building from a character-driven mindset! Obi-Wan, Poe, Leia, and Rey are favs, so things that focus on their relationships are welcome!

Visual Fanworks

c_art is offering a comic page (per $50 donation) for the Original and Prequel Trilogies! Enthusiastic about Gen and Femslash as well as rarepairs and unusual ideas! Fluff, angst, slice of life, and action all welcome! Black and white pages - will ask the winning bidder for a script or fic to adapt, higher donations = gets more pages!

@temporoyales is offering a drawing/painting for any Star Wars! Any pairings, genders, sexualities are welcome! Likes working with everyday interactions, environmental storytelling, symbolism, genderbending, and costume design! Starting bid gets a black and white portrait and larger bids increase up to fullbody/color!

@gingersnappish is offering a full color book cover/illustration/drawing/comic page/etc for any Star Wars! Specializes in Kylux but open to almost all characters, pairs, ideas! Happy to work with scifi-fantasy design, animals, detailed backgrounds and tech! Will make 2-4 small sketches for the recipient to choose from and then show a refined sketch before finishing the piece!

@nattyjae is offering a comic/drawing/painting/etc for any Star Wars! Scaled donations $5 = black and white, $15 black and white comic, $20 full color illustration, on up to a full color comic page! Loves Clone Wars, Rebels, and Bad Batch but will be happy drawing any Star Wars! Happy to design characters, redraw scenes or visualize AUs!

Beta Reading

@shadow-spires is offering to beta 10-20K for any of the Trilogies, Clone Wars, Rebels, Rogue One!

birbleafs is offering to beta for <5K for any of the Trilogies, Clone Wars, Legends/Extended Universe!

geniecat2 is offering to beta for 5-10K for the Original and Prequel Trilogies, Book of Boba Fett, Clone Wars, Legends/Extended Universe, Mandolorian, and Kenobi!

Podfic Recording

@shadow-spires is offering to record a <5K podfic for any of the Trilogies, Clone Wars, Rebels, or Rogue One: clones centric and Jedi-positive stuff always welcome, as well as OCs!

flowerparrish is offering to record <5K for any of the Trilogies, Book of Boba Fett, Clone Wars, Legends/Extended Universe, Mandalorian, Kenobi, Rebels, Rogue One! They are especially interested in canon-divergent AUs, fix-its, Poly ships, F/F, trans or nonbinary characters, rarepairs and crackships!

kbirb is offering to record fic with wordcount being contribution-based (Donations: First $10 = 2K, +$10 = Additional 1K)! Open to all three Trilogies, Andor, Clone Wars, Mandolorian, Rebels, Rogue One! Especially interested in found family, soulmate AUs, polyamory, trans clone troopers, neopronouns, Jon Antilles rarepairs, Hevy/Fives/Echo, Cody/Obi-Wan, and period pieces (Regency!) Loves recording for an author who wants to hear their fic aloud!

#star wars #star wars fanfiction #star wars fanart #fandom trumps hate #fth 2024 #fanworks charity auction

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bookstantrash · 4 days

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A/N: And I am back in my "Nessian with RED (TV) fic titles" agenda. They are just so RED coded and I had been dying to write something related to this album it is one of my fav albums of TS tbf.

This one shot is more Cassian centric, and it is also a type of fanfic I had been meaning to write for the longest times. I just feel like the fandom overall forgets that Cassian has a lot of trauma and insecurities, and I wish we saw more of that.

Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound

Nightmares were not unusual to Cassian. He had them for as long as he could remember.

He had them when he was a mere child living on the outskirts of Windhaven, blowing on his hands to try and keep himself warm.

Had them when he was a young warrior, taking part in the Blood Rite, fighting his way to find his brothers alive.

Had them when he took part in the First War and saw deaths far more gruesome than what he had experienced at the Blood Rite.

Had them pile up after each war, each battle he took part in. Dreamt about his soldiers dying, about having to give their families the news and be met with sadness, anger and resentment. That they were gone and would never return. That while they had died he, a mere bastard born nobody, an orphan, had not.

He grew used to nightmares. Usually he would wake up with silent tears and a sense of regret and failure over his heart, spending the rest of the night awake, going over reports. Those were the good nights.

And on those rare times when his mind was particularly evil and wanted to punish him deeply, on those nights he would wake up with his heart racing, the urge to throw up taking him out of his bed to leave him retching over the toilet, the need to scream at anyone and everyone consuming him. To scream in anger and despair. Those were the bad nights, the ones who made him go to the training ring and rip the punching bags, made him stay there until the sun was rising and he would pass out with tiredness, no dreams, good or bad appearing for him.

He was so used to his nightmares that he knew what to expect, knew how to recognise when it would be a bad or good night.

And then he met Nesta and his nightmares changed.

Now he dreamt of his failures with her. Not being able to stop her from being thrown into the Cauldron, not protecting her from Hybern during the War, not helping her heal sooner after the war, letting her be kidnapped again and thrown in the Blood Rite.

Nothing could have prepared him for those nightmares, nightmares that got worse after they finally got together.

Because finally being able to be with the love of his life, his Nesta, his wife and mate… that made him incredibly afraid. Afraid that the happiness he had never felt before would be stolen from him, leaving him empty, a sad and lonely youngling in the bitter snow all over again.

The first time Cassian had a nightmare after he and Nesta had wed, he had woken up in a cold sweat, heart beating so loudly on his ears that for a second he thought he was hearing the Illyrian war drums. He had dreamt of the night she had been Made, of dragging himself over the cold floor of Hybern’s throne room, the pain of his shredded and bloody wings almost non-existent at the face of Nesta’s despair. At her screams of rage as she was dragged under the cold dark waters of the Cauldron.

He had only calmed down when he realised Nesta was safely sleeping beside him, arms around him tightening and her sleepily mumbling at him.

“Where are you going?”

Cassian had considered untangling himself from his wife’s warm embrace and going over some leftover documents, silently keeping watch over her. But one look at her sleeping face had his resolve weakening.

“Nowhere, Nes” he had settled beside her, dropping a kiss on her forehead “Go back to sleep”

Whenever Cassian had a nightmare, he would try his best to not wake up Nesta. He did not want to bother her with his worries and fears. And somehow the Mother must have taken pity on him, because he was scarcely having any bad nights since they'd gotten married. Sure, he still had nightmares, but those made him want to rip his own heart out had stopped.

He took that as a small blessing. He would take the good nights over no dreams if that meant that the unbearable nightmares would be kept at bay.

However, Nesta was not oblivious that something preyed on her husband’s mind. She had noticed how worn out he was, how when he smiled at her and said nothing was wrong his smile did not reach his eyes.

But Nesta wanted Cassian himself to tell her what was happening. Wanted him to open his heart about what was making the circles beneath his eyes darker with each passing day without her having to dig it out of him. He had told her months ago during that hike at Illyria that she could be silent and he would be waiting for her to open up when she felt comfortable, as long as she did not shut him out. Now Nesta would do the same. She would wait beside him, offering her support however she could until he was ready to talk.

“You are unusually quiet today,” Nesta noted. They were resting on the sofa in front of the fireplace — Nesta reading a book and Cassian lying down, his head on her lap — having a quiet late evening after the training session with the Valkyries in the morning.

“Missing the sound of my lovely voice, Nes? Should I read out loud a paragraph from your book?” Cassian teased, opening an eye. He had slept poorly the night before, and the quiet sound of the embers crackling on the fireplace and his mate absentmindedly running her free hand through his hair had him battling sleep.

“No,” she closed her book, “it was merely an observation.”

Cassian closed his eyes again, smiling softly.

“Are you sure? I am certain the House would love to hear all about your newest smutty book”

The faelights flicked twice, as if agreeing with him.

“Oh hush now, you can read it after I am done with it. ” Nesta said, glaring at the ceiling “I never knew a sentient being more impatient”

Cassian laughed. At first he had been surprised when Nesta talked to the House, but he had grown used to it, even talking to It on more than one occasion.

“Do you want to move to our room?” Nesta asked, gently running her hands through his hair “it is more comfortable than the couch”

Cassian merely sighed “No, I am very comfortable like this” he turned on his side, arms circling her waist and wings dropping a little on the floor “I am afraid I will keep you hostage while I nap.”

Whatever Nesta meant to say was lost when she noticed how his breath had eased, her mate having already fallen asleep. And before she could even ask, the House flicked off the faelights, drawing shut the curtains of the room they had turned into their living room.

“Thank you,” Nesta found it quite endearing how the House had grown to care about Cassian as much as It cared about her. In the beginning, It liked to play pranks on him and even sided with Nesta whenever she and Cassian had an argument — once It locked Cassian outside and only let him in when he apologised. Over time, however, they had formed a rather close friendship.

Nesta opened her book again, turning on the small faelight that Azriel had gifted her on Solstice. She had just gotten to the juicy part and she knew that little light would not wake Cassian any time soon if the way he was softly breathing was any indication of how deeply he was sleeping.

She had read half of the book when she felt an uneasy feeling through the bond. She looked down at Cassian and saw his breathing getting uneven, his arms tightening around her waist.

“Cass?” Nesta whispered softly, setting her book aside. She could feel his fear and anguish through the bond, and it pained her that she could do nothing to ease his pain.

Cassian whimpered, and although Nesta knew better than to wake up someone having a nightmare, she could not stand to see him in such pain.

“Cassian, wake up, please” she tugged on her end of the bond, her hands cupping his face. He woke up gasping, hazel eyes huge and scared.

“A bucket,” he managed to say as he scrambled up, his breathing erratic “I need—”

No sooner had the House made a bucket appear than Cassian was on his knees, emptying his stomach. Nesta kneeled beside him, holding his hair back and rubbing his back.

“It is okay, everything is fine now” she said softly.

The House made a glass of water and a towel appear, Nesta thanking It quietly. Cassian had closed his eyes, breathing as if he had just learned how to.

“Hey,” she grabbed his face “open your eyes Cass.”

His hands came up, grabbing her wrists like he was wandering at the sea and she was his lifeline.

“That is it, just look at me” she said softly yet firmly, his scared hazel eyes meeting her blue-grey ones “Breath, Cassian.”

Nesta took a deep breath, holding it in for a few seconds before letting it go slowly. Cassian copied her, and after a few minutes his breathing had become normal again, his racing heart also slowing down.

“I am sorry,” that was the first thing he said, voice hoarse “I did not want you to see me like this”

“Nonsense,” Nesta dismissed, giving him the glass of water and making him drink it “you have seen me in much worse conditions”

“Are you ready to tell me what is going on?” she asked.

Cassian nodded his head, biding his time by taking another sip of water and using the towel to clean his mouth.

“For as long as I could remember I’ve had nightmares,” he began “There are the good nightmares and bad nightmares. The good ones usually wake me and leave me with a feeling of failure.”

Nesta remembered the nights in which she would wake up to an empty bed, Cassian going over reports — she would sit on his lap and give remarks as he went over them — or just standing on their balcony. On those nights she would go over to him and bring him back to bed.

“I am cold” she would say, and he would hug her tightly and Nesta would let him think that she did not notice how he needed the hug more than she did.

She could always feel his sadness through the bond, no matter how hard he tried to close his end of that golden thread that binds them together so intrinsically.

“And the bad ones?” Nesta quietly asked.

“The bad ones leave me like this,” he said with a self deprecating laugh “A complete and utter mess, barely functioning.”

“You have been sleeping poorly for a while now. Why didn’t you talk to me?” Cassian must have seen the hurt on her eyes, felt it through the bond, because he grabbed her hands, squeezing them.

“I am not good with words, I am sure you have noticed that,” he smiled weakly “I wish I was half as eloquent as you are.”

“You managed just fine in our wedding” she said with an arched eyebrow, and that got a real laugh out of him.

“I was inspired that day, I will admit.” he got serious again “But I think that maybe spending a lot of time being alone and angry did not help with my inability to find the right words to express what I am feeling. And to share my problems with others.”

Nesta had noticed this particular trait of Cassian, especially after she had stopped keeping him at arms lengths and had finally allowed herself to admit what she felt for him. He loved his family deeply, would put himself at risk for others in a heartbeat, would always have a happy face and joke to lighten the mood.

He cared for and about everyone, but what about him? Who did the same to him?

Nesta wanted to be the one with whom he could discard his happy mask and show a range of emotions.

“You can always talk to me Cassian,” she said “Anytime, no matter what.”

“I don't want to burden you. You already went through so much that to further worry you with something as silly as a nightmare—”

“I cannot believe you are saying this,” Nesta said, and Cassian could feel her anger and disappointment through the bond “You could never burden me and for you to even suggest otherwise—”

“I am your wife, Cassian. Your mate. If I don’t care and worry about you, who will?” she continued after taking a deep breath to calm herself “Besides, it is not a silly nightmare if it affected you this way”

Cassian stayed a few minutes quiet, mindlessly playing with her wedding band, brows furrowed in concentration.

“Another reason I was hesitant to talk to you about the nightmares is because— because now I have nightmares about you, Nes” he avoided her eyes while he talked, still focused on her hands “The good nightmares are the ones about my failures with you. Not stopping Hybern, not helping you sooner…”

Nesta’s heart almost broke when he said that. How could he think that about himself when he had been the one to tell her months ago when they visited the old shabby cottage she had lived with her family in poverty that there was nothing she could have done to stop Hybern and save her father?

“And the bad?” she asked, wishing he would look at her.

“The bad ones are about you dying in my arms. About you realising I am nothing more than a bastard born nobody, who is not deserving of even the air you breathe and then leaving to go travel the world, to marry a king from the continent or from other fae lands.” his voice got quieter, almost a whisper, as if he was afraid of telling her what he saw on those nights “Of you simply leaving me and never looking back.”

“Tonight— tonight was a bad one,” he finally looked at her and his face was so utterly wrecked with pain and desperation that Nesta wanted to tell him that she would stop his nightmares, that she would bargain with the Mother and even that blasted Cauldron to leave him alone.

“I dreamt that when Briallyn ordered me to kill I could not turn the knife on myself. So I killed you. And she got the Mask and kept reviving you so I had to kill you over and over and over again” silent tears started running down his face and her heart truly shattered.

She hugged him tight, Cassian burying his head on her shoulder.

“Shh xe nhia, I am here,” Nesta knew a few words in Illyrian, and she hoped that the use of them, the familiarity that they brought, would help Cassian “I am not leaving you. Not now and not ever”

“However, if you keep trying to spoil my books I might become Ems’ newest house mate” she joked, making Cassian laugh.

“I would be completely lost without you Nes,” he said with a weak smile.

“I know,” she tenderly brushed his cheeks, drying his tears “Promise me something?”

“Anything you desire”

“Promise me you will wake me up when you have another nightmare, be it ‘good’ or ‘bad’. Promise me you will talk to me and let me be beside you when you are in need.” she pleaded.

“I promise” Cassian kissed her cheek, gathering her in his arms and walking towards their bedroom. Reluctantly setting her down, he went to their bathroom to freshen up while Nesta changed out of her dress.

Cassian walked back in to find her wearing one his favourite sweaters.

“I had been looking for that sweater”

“You were? Funny how it ended up in my drawer. Maybe the House put it there by mistake” Nesta shrugged, knowing very well that she had been the one to steal it. She was constantly stealing Cassian’s clothes.

“You do look better on it than me, so I think I can forgive that small mishap” he said, getting under the covers and hugging Nesta close.

“I love you, Nes” he whispered in her ear “And thank you”

“I love you too, Cass,” she replied, snuggling closer to him.

And that night, for the first time in a long while, Cassian had no nightmares.

•

tag list: @sayosdreams @perseusannabeth @arinbelle @letstakethedawn @katekatpattywack @nestaarcheron @imagine-me @sv0430 @starryblueskies7 @live-the-fangirl-life @valkyriewarriors @readskk @wannawriteyouabook @imwritingthesewords @rainbowcheetah512 @moodymelanist @castielspelvis

[Reblogs/likes/comments are always welcomed!!]

#nessian #nesta x cassian #nesta archeron #cassian #acosf #a court of silver flames #post acosf #post a court of silver flames #sarah j maas #sjmaas #acotar

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ecileh · 2 years

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there was this really interesting theory on tiktok last year about how in a lot of women-centric fantasy, only “good girls” get to keep their powers. it wasn’t about SJM, but i think about this in relation to the SJMverse soooo much because it happens with a lot (all) of her characters.

the video has been deleted (it’s blank in my bookmarks 😭) but to paraphrase the theory, OP magical female characters get boxed into two categories:

good girls: selfless, savior complex, puts everyone especially her man first, often modest/humble, scandalized when they have to wear sexy clothes for a plot point, only fuck when presented with one bed or similar situation (ie, they need to *be* seduced)

bad girls: selfish, proud, difficult to get along with, vain, seductive/DTF (they’re not bad people, many are heroines. they’re just…difficult. they loathe themselves. they make mistakes and don’t make excuses.)

feyre is the literal holotype of a good girl. she puts everyone else, especially her male partner, before herself. she is a little more selfish at the beginning of the books, but she undergoes a lot of character growth by acowar/acofas. in acowar i think it makes her compelling because she’s so recklessly brave that it almost sets her allies’ efforts back (it’s almost a mistake!) but everything always works out for her. but by acofas, when she’s wearing herself to the bone doing charity work, she’s become a martyr. she also is forced into wearing sexy clothes (by rhys) and they don’t do anything sexual until there’s, of course, only one bed. she’s so OP her powers eventually get nerfed for plot reasons (nesta, elain, and other side characters need a chance to shine, so feyre gets pregnant, shielded, and now has a baby to protect so she probably won’t risk herself unless anything threatens nyx), but her powers are still there. she still has control and agency over her powers. she’s just choosing not to use them or put herself in harm’s way because she’s now a mother.

nesta, amren, and aelin are bad girls because they are selfish, proud, difficult to get along with. we don’t know much about amren’s sexual history but we know aelin cockteased rowan for months, and nesta made her way through velaris and jumped right into bed with cassian—not for love, but for a distraction—once she was confined to the house of wind. (i know feyre claimed her one bed moment with rhysand was for a distraction as well, but she wasn’t really in the same place as nesta where sex was an active self-destructive coping mechanism for her. and she later admits to rhys she was lying about wanting distraction to protect herself.) and yeah amren and aelin gives up their powers for the wars and nesta gives up her powers for……a wider pelvis.

because bad girls can only be redeemed by sacrificing their power. good girls will gladly sacrifice their power and lives, but they are always spared. bad girls may offer their lives too (as amren and aelin did), but even if their lives are spared they never get to keep their power like good girls do.

(and of course OP men always get to keep their powers.)

so many authors seem to think the only satisfying resolution to a difficult woman’s character arc is making them give up their power to save someone else. personally i think it’s so tired. give us a stone cold bitch who doesn’t have to nuke herself for a new pelvis!!! please authors i am begging you

#nesta deserves better #pro nesta #nesta archeron #acotar #a court of thorns and roses #a court of silver flames #throne of glass #aelin deserves better #even amren deserves better

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danikamariewrites · 9 months

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what do you think ab pregnant reader x feysand or nessian who is very emotional like she cries if she drops her bread and they think it’s hilarious but also comforts her.

Midday Cravings (pt. 2.5)

Nessian x reader

A/n: part 3 will be done in a few so for now enjoy this little blurb

Warnings: none

Standing at the kitchen counter you lightly drummed your fingers on your bump waiting patiently for your toast to be done. You had been craving and eating bread for the last three days. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner was bread centric for you.

You had come up with a thousand different things to put on it too. Some that made Nesta and Cassian give you a questioning look but you’d always whine, ‘I’m pregnant, don’t pull that face’ as you made your odd meals.

This time it was actually something your mates would eat. You crushed up a few avocados and perfectly seasoned the mixture with your favorite spices.

Cassian comes up behind you, kissing your cheek. “Hi princess, and hello to you munchkin.” He leans down kissing the side of your bump.

The toaster dinged and you let out a squeal of excitement. Cassian watched as you grab the bread and you plopped the spread on. Picking up your toast to go sit with Cassian but you fingers slip. Your breakfast falls from your hands and splats face down.

Cassian gets up and cleans the mess quickly. You look up at him, your lip wobbling and big eyes tearing up. “No, hey it’s ok I can make you another one ok. Go sit down princess.” You nod as tears start to fall from your eyes.

Cassian pulls out a chair for you. Slumping down in the wooden chair you hold your baby bump and start to cry. He’s trying not to panic but he’s flying around the kitchen looking for your “breakfast bread” as you liked to call it. You had seven different kinds of bread that you liked at different times and he couldn’t remember which was for breakfast.

Nesta walked in on the chaotic scene immediately going to you first. She crouched down next to your chair gently taking your hands and giving them a loving squeeze. “Hey, y/n/n what’s wrong?” She coos. You sniffle and tell her about your toast.

When you look at her she’s holding back laughter. You start crying more, “it’s not funny Nesta.” She lets out her laugh, “I’m sorry baby, really I am. It’s just a little funny.” Wiping your tears Nesta stands, kissing the top of your head and hugging you to her.

“Is Cass making you a new one?” You nod, whispering, “I think he needs help.” She pats your head, padding over to Cassian who’s still fumbling with bags of bread. He looks at Nesta still panicking. “Which one is the breakfast one?” He whisper yells.

She grabs the one at the front of the cabinet and waves it in his face. “This one General.” Cassian lets out a relieved sigh. “What would we do without you.” Nesta playfully rolls her eyes as she goes to make you new toast.

After a few minutes your tears finally stopped and you have a new piece of avocado toast in front of you. Happily chewing on it you look at your mates. “You ok now?” You hum through a full mouth.

You place a hand on the large bump feeling your little munchkin kick. Then you feel an odd trickle down your leg. Looking down you realize your water broke. Your eyes go wide and you whip your head to look at Cass and Nes. They give you the same look. “My water just broke!”

tags: @nyotamalfoy @auggiesolovey @bubybubsters @baybay123455 @msiecrane @aroseinvelaris @twsssmlmaa

#acotar #acotar fanfiction #acotar reader imagine #acotar reader fic #acotar imagine #nesta x reader #cassian x reader #nesta x you #cassian x you #nesta fic #nesta archeron #nesta archeron x reader #nesta #nesta acotar #cassian fanfic #cassian imagine #cassian fluff #cassian acotar

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maladapt1vedaydreamer · 17 days

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Shackles Of The Past - Chapter 1

A/N: Saw there was a concerning lack of Az-centric fics that don't revolve around mate discourse, aka bat boys/inner circle centric and wanted to contribute.

for a more detailed summary see here.

chaptet summary: tired parents, their toddler and his angsty friend.

°•○●○•°•○●○•°•○●○•°•○●○•°•○●○•°•○●○•°•○●○•°

There is unrest in Prythian.

Skirmishes along courts’ borders are becoming more frequent, inside conflicts rising in most. Feyre would love to think that the Night Court has been spared after everything its people have been through, but she would be lying to herself. Report after report is dropped onto their desks each day, Rhysand is frequently moving between courts for meetings, some more pleasant than others, while Feyre stays behind with Nyx to deal with internal affairs. Cassian and Azriel are almost never at home, much to Nesta’s displeasure, the General paying visits to the camps while the Spymaster is off collecting intel, trying to get at least some idea on what has the people frazzled. The lack of such is taking a toll on every member of the family.

Feyre sighs, taking in the blurring letters of the report about the latest slaughter in one of the outermost towns of the court. That’s what they were, slaughters. This is the tenth one In the past month. Reports would contain depictions of multiple bodies torn apart, limbs strewn all around. Families, strangers, neighbors, there was no pattern. The only thing all the attacks had in common was the bloodbath and the fact that there were no witnesses. None. No one has seen, or heard, anything, the bodies would be found in the morning with the earliest riser. As if that wasn't making their job hard enough, when they went out to investigate in person they would find nothing. No bodies, no blood, no recollection of the people those bodies belonged to. It's as if they never existed, as if the incident had never occurred. Rhys and her pried into the minds of the people who wrote the reports and they would, once again, find nothing. Not even a spell that could be an explanation to all of this. He doesn't mention it, but Feyre knows it's eating Rhys up inside.

Frustrated, Feyre drops the report and pushes away from the desk, rubbing at her eyes after hours of staring at the papers that never seem to end.

”I hope that frustration isn't going to end up with a brother less for me.”

The effect of his voice in her head is instant, the warmth that flows through her down the bond is enough to grant her momentary relief from the oncoming headache.

”I'm not making any promises.”

The lightness that echoes brings a smile to her face and she leans back in the chair with a sigh.

”Should I be placing bets?”

The snort that leaves her would be called unfitting of a High Lady if you asked some of the High Lords, but Feyre was never one for following norms.

”They would have to be home to get on my nerves. You as well”.

The light on the other side dims a little and she almost feels bad for her words. Before she can apologize, a trickle of borderline giddiness shoots through her as Rhys answers back. “I know, love. I will be home soon, tomorrow actually.”

Feyre shoots up in her seat, a grin spreading across her face so big her cheeks start hurting.

”I thought it wasn't supposed to be another week or so?”

She's up now, moving out of the office and towards the nursery where Nyx is playing in his little playpen. After more than a year, she finally feels settled enough to leave him in a room with only the wards as her eyes and ears.

”True, but Az says he has some news. I'm meeting up with him before we head back. Cass should be there by tomorrow night as well.” That peaks her interest and she knows he feels her curiosity.

She enters the nursery and finds their son sitting up in the playpen, a stuffed bat in his hand being flung around, courtesy of aunt Nesta. She thought it was hilarious, Rhys not so much. “Even if the main topic will be work, I'm glad we can all be present for a family dinner. It's been weeks since we've all been in one place.” She stands in the doorway for a moment, taking in their entire future playing peacefully, swaddled in darkness with only the setting sun providing enough light to see his smiling face. Adoration warms her from the inside.

”It will be nice to have us all gathered. I still owe Cassian a beating for last time.” Feyre manages to stifle a laugh, not wanting to interrupt Nyx in his play. ”I'll be taking bets on that.”

Nyx babbles at something in the air and Feyre tilts her head, not seeing anything at first. He's almost a year and a half now, toddling around and falling over, babbling and repeating everything he hears. She has Cassian to thank for the arsenal of cuss words the child has, his pronounciation of shit and fuck is immaculate. He hasn't started speaking in full sentences yet, and Feyre would be worried, but he's happy and healthy. If it takes him a little longer than most, so be it.

”Do you have so little faith in me Feyre, darling?” The drawl in Rhysand's voice has her rolling her eyes in exasperation even as it makes her legs feel weak. Stupid male.

”Now don't go putting words in my mouth.” The amusement shooting down the bond has her regretting her choice of words immediately.

”I can think of something different to put there.”

If he were physically there, she would've whacked him on the head before putting Nyx to bed and taking him up on the offer. Instead, she scoffs and sends the annoyance down the bond. The sound is enough to catch Nyx's attention and her heart melts as she watches his eyes crinkle with a smile and small giggles escape his lips. She lets Rhys in on the scene and the bond lights up with warmth.

“Hello, precious.” Taking light steps towards the playpen, now that she got his attention, she smiles at her son. The babe giggles at her once more, wings fluttering on his back, before he turns to look over his shoulder to continue babbling. Feyre frowns and looks at the wall behind him, yet there is nothing there.

“Who are you talking to?”

Her voice is gentle, always gentle with Nyx, as she opens the small gate and steps into the playpen before kneeling in front of him. Her son turns back to smile at her and once again looks, or rather tries to look behind himself.

”Is everything alright?”

She's so focused on the background that Rhys's voice almost startles her. She checks on all the wards and shields around the house and all of them are intact.

”I think so…" She trails off as a flutter of something whirls around the tip of Nyx's wings. Not wanting to alarm the babe or her mate, Feyre keeps her calm because logically, nothing that shouldn't be here is present. Gently, she reaches out and wraps her hands around his middle, tugging him up so he's standing in front of her. That has him turning around once again as he shrieks and claps happily while trying to bounce in place. He is so precious to her. To them. She is so happy to have him.

”Feyre?”

The undertone of worry has her focusing back on the task at hand, and she goes to turn Nyx away from herself to check his back. Before she can though, that same something flies out from behind his back and twirls around the tips of his wings. Feyre laughs. She laughs in relief and amusement and adoration.

”An update, please?” Her heart is still thumping in her chest as she lets her feelings flow down the bond once again.

”Seems like Nyx here, got himself a friend.” She projects the scene to Rhys once more. This time, it's of the babe still bouncing in his mother's arms as a wisp of shadow twirls almost playfully around him, snaking down his arm and dancing between Feyre’s fingers before going back to Nyx. She feels the amusement and surprise as if it were her own.

”Well, that's something our Spymaster failed to mention.” Nyx lets put another giggle as the wisp flies in circles up and down his arms, and he bats his hands to try and grab at it. Feyre finally pulls him into her lap and relaxes on the floor as she watches him. The wisp disappears behind Nyx at some point and Feyre has a suspicion it's hiding under his wings.

”I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't know. Those little pests sometimes have a mind of their own.” She calls them pests, but they're anything but. With the amount of times they helped save the Court, their family, Az, they were as much part of the Inner Circle as their master. Rhys hums in reply and Feyre doesn't bother stopping his access. Instead, she lets him watch as she plays with their son, stuffed toys pulled into various scenarios. At one point he looks up at her with those starry eyes alight with wonder and tugs at her hair.

“Mama.” If Feyre melts every time the word leaves his mouth, no one has to know.

“That's right, mama's right here.” The boy smiles before he tilts his head, seemingly confused.

“Dada?” She doesn't know whether the pang of sadness that shoots through her is her own or her mate's. Regardless, she smooths down the unruly mop of hair before responding. “Dada is busy right now, but he will be back tomorrow. As will uncle Cass and uncle Az. Do you miss them, as well?”

Nyx positively shrieks at the news of his father coming tomorrow and Feyre struggles not to grimace at the volume. She hears Rhys's laugh in her head and the thought that their peace could once more be ruined by outside forces is almost enough to make her combust on the spot. Almost. The wisp peaks out from behind Nyx once more and gets the same reaction.

”I should invest in some ear-plugs.” Laughter is the only thing she gets in response. This time, the tiny thing circles Nyx's left wrist and stays there, undisturbed by the boy's constant movement. Feyre finally decides to acknowledge it and pokes Nyx in his side.

“Is that a new friend?” When he finally calms down from his giggles he shakes his head resolutely. “Nuh-uh. Az.” He says it with such indignation that Feyre can't help but laugh.

“I apologize, of course it's Az. Does he keep you company sometimes?” She's mostly curious because while she occasionally sees whispers of their Spymaster's shadows around the house, keeping an eye on things, they never linger.

Nyx opens his mouth to respond but he's cut off by a yawn. He rubs at his eyes and lets out,“Always.” A short ”Huh.” is all she gets from Rhys's end. Curious, indeed.

“Let's get you to bed, precious. It's been a long day.” She scoops him up in her arms and can't help but smile at the obvious frown that appears on his face at the mention of calling it a day. She can't have that now, can she?

“If you go to bed now, you'll have plenty of energy to play with everyone tomorrow.” The stars in his eyes light up once more at that and she takes it as a go ahead. The warmth of the bond is almost unbearable as she tucks Nyx in and kisses his forehead before wishing him goodnight. The boy doesn't mind sleeping on his own, he burrows deeper into the blanket with the promise of tomorrow's fun.

”Go to bed, Feyre. I'll be home soon.” She slips out of the nursery and goes to their bedroom. No sooner than she changes her clothes and her head hits the pillow, she's fast asleep. The only thing on her mind being the male on the other side of the continent.

•°•°•°•°•°•

Gentle claws tap against Azriel's mental shield and he lowers them just enough for his brother to get through.

”I'll be there in a moment. You got everything you need?” Azriel responds with an affirmative and lets the almost scorching sun of the Summer Court beat against his skin as he waits. The heat does wonders for the coiled muscles in his back and wings. He took off the fighting leathers a few minutes back, the heat from them unbearable, leaving him in a black short-sleeve. While most of the tension has been from the evasiveness of the new danger in Prythian, he would be lying If he said some of it isn't apprehension of seeing Rhys. Not that they haven't spoken since the Solstice, they have. While there has been tension and anger between them for some time, they're on the mend. After all, one discussion has nothing on more than 500 years of brotherhood. Things are easier now, almost back to how they were. Azriel simply couldn't forget the look on his brother's face from that night.

The judgment.

The barely held back anger.

The disappointment.

His shadows swarm around his shoulders and up his neck, as if being swallowed into oblivion would protect him from his own mind. The comforting whispers aren't received but he appreciates their presence nevertheless. It's been months and Azriel hasn't disobeyed the order given by his brother, his High Lord. That was his High Lord in that office. He spent some time simmering in anger, at Rhys, at himself. Soon after, he realized he needed to do better, be better. Azriel knows the truth, deep down. Centuries, he has spent ignoring it, keeping it close to his heart and mind in the hopes that if he didn’t admit it to himself, it wouldn’t be true. The implications of it might just fracture him irreparably. Another secret that will die with him. So, chasing something that wasn't meant to be, wasn't going to help him protect his family. They have something to fight for, to live for, he only has them; And he'll be damned if he doesn't protect their peace this time around. Azriel would give pieces of himself away, if it meant keeping them.

The sudden appearance of his brother before him would've startled him if not for the whispers of Brother is here, a second before he is and he reels away from the thoughts to give Rhys his full attention. His brother looks worse for wear, even as he stands there in the middle of a field in elegant attire, the bags under his eyes and unruly hair, both of which were probably the result of worrying about little Nyx and Feyre and a lack of sleep, give him away. It still doesn't dim the shit-eating grin across his face as he approaches him, arms spread.

“Brother dearest.” Azriel scoffs but doesn't shy away when Rhysand pulls him in for a hug. It makes something deep inside tremble, so he pulls away before he can fall into himself. The grin on Rhysand's face doesn't falter even as his eyes scan him for any injuries. Overprotective bastard.

“Hello, brother dearest.” Just to ease his mind a bit. The light of mischief in the starry eyes almost makes him choke because he hasn't seen it in so long.

“I knew all that eye rolling was for show.” It's natural to slip into the back and forth banter, as easy as breathing. “Don't you have scores to settle with Cassian?” The usual monotonous voice is gone, mellowed into a deep timbre that allows those listening to get an actual read on him. His shadows, forever his loyal companions, respond in kind, snaking down his body and up Rhysand’s, greeting his brother’s darkness and he greets them back in his own way before turning back to Azriel.

“If you mean, am I beating his ass tonight? Then the answer is yes. He should be back soon as well, earlier than expected. Something about missing Nesta too much.” Azriel graces him with a raised brow and a very judgmental look. In response, Rhys simply holds up a hand between them.

“Not a word, Az.”

A grin teases at Azriel's lips that he tries and fails to hold back.

“I didn't even open my mouth.”

“You didn't have to, I could sense your judgment from over here.” The annoyance is watered down with a grin overtaking Rhys’s face and Azriel very foolishly thinks he has options. He considers putting the information that he has in the back of his mind under lock and key for at least a few hours so they can have a peaceful get-together. He considers never letting them know and just taking care of it himself. Or just letting somebody else do something for once. But he knows all of that wishful thinking would be irresponsible and detrimental to their future.

“Ready to go home?” Azriel thinks to himself that he needs to get it together, there is no reason a question worded like that should make him feel as if there was a knife twisted in his gut. He’s always ready to go home. Instead of answering verbally he takes a step closer to Rhys and they clasp forearms as Rhys prepares to winnow them home. As the familiar darkness swirls around them and eats up the view of the outside world, Azriel takes one last look at the mirth and happiness on his brother’s face, before the darkness swallows them completely.

There, in pitch-black darkness where they disintegrate into nothing, he wonders how he’s going to keep that smile on Rhysand when what he has to share will shake their calm and safety away once more.

How will he protect them from her when he already failed once, all those years ago? Can he?

The only thing Azriel is certain of, is that he will do anything to keep Amarantha's claws away from his family. Whatever that entails.

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A/N: posting this here as well just to see what are your thoughts (if you do end up liking it, the rest (of what I've written so far) you can read HERE), be mindful of the tags.

Let me know what you think!

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