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snowblack-charcoalwhite · 16 days

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" Aemond is homophobic", "Screw Aemond, he is disrespecting his mother"... Really?

As for the first statement: why does literally everything concerning Alicent have to be about her being deeply in not-so-platonic love with Rhaenyra? Nothing Aemond said implied that it is precisely "not-so-platonic" part he disapproves of.

And here we come to the second one.

For one, there is a war going on/about to begin. The lives of their entire family are at stake, at the very least due to Daemon being involved. As far as Aemond is concerned, the latter is either Rhaenyra's faithful dog who kills for her without second thought (just remember Vaemond's murder) or a mad one who can't be controlled. Either way, bad news - and Alicent still chooses to proceed with caution. To which point must the Greens do so? Till there is no one left of them to get in Rhaenyra's way? Alicent is one of my favourite characters in the saga (at this point "was" might be more suitable) but presently "Alicent holds love for our enemy. That makes her a fool" is basically a statement of fact.

As for the emotional side of the situation, just look at it from Aemond's point of view for a second. To cover her own ass and those of her children, Rhaenyra, an adult, in cold blood demanded for Aemond, a child, to be tortured - for telling the truth and right after Rhaenyra's own son maimed him for life. Alicent defended him then - and Aemond was the one who comforted her with words and with actions when the majority of the people in the room gaped at her as if she was a madwoman. He chased after Lucerys thinking not only of his mutilation having gone unpunished - he also never forgot Alicent being humiliated (hence 'a gift for my mother' line"). But when push really comes to shove Alicent, taking into consideration how high the stakes are, basically turns her back on him and his siblings - because she doesn't want her childhood friend (even if we actually count Rhaenyra as Alicent's friend) to be harmed. What about her children? Grandchildren? Her father? If you look at Aemond's face when he is asking Alicent whether she wants them to prevail, there is hurt in his eyes. And who can blame him for being hurt - and mad - when his own mother is not on his side but on the side of the person who harmed them both before? And if this happens after B&C, he is all the more justified in his feelings.

I might get a lot of hate for what I'm about to say but in the grand scheme of things it looks like as the Dance begins show!Alicent does precisely what Viserys did at Driftmark (and for years before and after) - which is disregarding her children's (in Viserys' case "other children's") best interests for Rhaenyra's sake.

P.S. There is also the fact that Aemond is not one of the most forgiving people in the world (just as book!Rhaenyra by the way). But it doesn't mean that his thoughts and feelings should be disregarded just because they happen to clash with his mother's.

#hotd #house of the dragon #aemond targaryen #alicent hightower #hotd season 2

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anistarrose · 3 months

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The thing about the Heart Attack segment in Wonderland is that they put so much aromantic subtext in it. They accidentally put SO much aromantic subtext in it, on behalf of multiple characters, and I'm thinking about it constantly. Let me tell you all about it.

Magnus is dropped into a dating game and literally leads with "I cannot stress enough how uninterested I am in this." Now, it's perfectly valid to read this as due to him waiting for Julia, or just him being plain old uncomfortable with having his love life put in the spotlight. However! I cannot stress enough the exchange that happens just a minute or two after that line:

Magnus (describing his ideal date): ... and we don't see each other again, ‘cause I'm really not interested in dating. Audience: [exaggerated] Oooooh! (cheers) Griffin: The silhouette is like, fanning itself. Lydia: Playing hard to get, huh? It seems like our contestant is into that.

And I just have to say: unfortunately, this is one of the most aromantic fucking experiences I've seen represented in fiction in my life. I mean — saying you're not interested in romance, then having those words twisted on you, like they're some secret coded way of saying that you are interested in romance? Not having a single way to express your disinterest that'll actually be believed? That's some aro shit right there. God. Fuck.

As an aside, it's enough to really tell that Heart Attack is not designed to be a reprieve from the pain, even though it's the "good outcome" of Trust or Forsake. It's designed to be uncomfortable. To funnel suffering to Edward and Lydia, just like all the other games do. (More on that later, in fact.) But in summary:

Magnus is a character who can be read as uncomfortable with romance for either aro-spec reasons or unrelated reasons. But in either case, his discomfort attracts reactions that reek of amatonormativity — and therefore, resonate with aromantic experiences. (Psst, I did recently write a gray-aro Magnus fic!)

Two more analyses below the cut (and only one of them is for another Horny Boy):

Obviously the next character I need to talk about is Merle. I've found aroallo readings of his character to be compelling for a long time (having sex with plants so you don't have to worry about romantic commitment, am I right?), but the way he describes his "ideal date" is another factor:

Merle: I volunteer to drive her vehicle, and tell her it's filthy, and so we go through the uh- drive through vehicle wash and she pays for that too. Um, and then I take her to have dinner with my family, and- Magnus: Wait, like your wife and stuff? Merle: She meets my ex-wife.

Merle's probably exaggerating as a joke, continuing on about both him and his partner being miserable, but I think the fact that Merle's mind goes here is genuinely drawing from a lot of poor romantic experiences in the past. He didn't get a choice about being on Heart Attack, and his marriage with Hecuba was similarly "arranged".

It's also worth noting that at this point in time, Merle is putting in the work to be part of Mavis and Mookie's lives again, but is not interested in doing the same for Hecuba — he instead just asks Mavis how Hecuba's doing. That said, given that Magnus is the one to put the focus on Merle's ex-wife, I think it's fair to read the "family" comment as Merle actually expressing that he'd rather spend time with his kids than give any special romantic attention to his date. Moving on to the rest of the "joke":

Merle: She's having a miserable time and she's really mad, she can't wait to get outta there. I take her back to her house, and so I lean up against the door jam and say, 'Sure you don't want me to come in for a few minutes?' and she slams the door in my face.

It's possible Merle just has a more roundabout, self-deprecating way of expressing a similar thing to what Magnus did: Merle just isn't interested in dating. To me, the last line implies he might not say no to sex, if offered — but overall, it reads as if Merle is putting minimal effort in because he's looking for an excuse to get out of this relationship anyway.

It's also possible that Merle's "rejection" of a suitor being so disguised as humor could point to him still coming to terms with his disinterest in dating. Particularly, in comparison to Magnus, who is so vocal and unashamed about it, while Merle might still be figuring this all out.

(Honestly, the self-deprecation Merle turns to here is actually kind of sad, when viewed in that light — he already lets himself be the butt of jokes so often, and now he feels like the way romance doesn't click for him has to be a joke, too? Oof. Someone give him a hug and tell him he's not broken this instant!) But regardless:

Merle views dates, and perhaps romance in general, as things that will inevitably turn disastrous for him and any party involved with him, and he would rather spend time with his children than repairing a relationship with an ex, or cultivating a relationship with a new partner. This is not an experience exclusive to the aro-spec umbrella, but you can't say that an aromantic reading of his character doesn't fit him like a gardening glove...

...which he wears while fucking his plants. Because plants don't demand emotional intimacy, nor take too much time away from the platonic relationships that matter more to him. And you know what? He's fucking valid for that! Fly your flag, nasty grandpa!

But moving on: I promised you aromantic analysis of characters outside of our protagonists, and henceforth, that analysis I will provide. And not just because I admittedly see Taako as the token alloromantic (though clearly an aro ally; if he hadn't chosen Forsake we wouldn't have gotten all this incredible characterization!)

I digress. So let's go on to addressing the lich twins in the room: Edward and Lydia.

Remember my argument earlier that Heart Attack serves the purpose of collecting suffering just like the rest of Wonderland does? How it's just a subtler way of making Wonderland's victims fundamentally uncomfortable?

...Using, of all things, romance?

How the vogue twins, for whatever reason, felt inspired to make people uncomfortable with matchmaking and adoration? How, some way or another, they noticed how much potential romance had to induce suffering? Being pressured into a relationship, being told that no matter how firmly you say you're uninterested, you're not really uninterested?

...Relatedly, I have always gotten the sense that Edward and Lydia projected relentlessly onto their victims.

Edward: This resolve, this desire to do whatever it takes no matter the cost to save yourselves — do you know who you three remind me of? Magnus: No? Merle: Who? Edward: Us!

I'm even going to go a step further and say that on top of projection, they want their victims to go through things they went through. Swallowing the guilt of having fucked someone else over to survive, of course — that's basically self-admitted. But possibly also... the feeling of not being able to get back what you lost (Keats). The feeling of being able to heal (Keats).

So, where does that leave Heart Attack?

Lydia: It was the three of us, surviving against all odds. The world against us.

Their family of three was (is) indescribably important to them. I'm not necessarily saying that societal expectations of romance, especially of romance as a priority above that of family, left a bad taste in their mouths — if not downright contributing to their trauma — but, okay, I wrote the rest of this post and now that I'm back, I can no longer deny it. I'm definitely, absolutely saying that.

At the time of the podcast, we know Edward and Lydia's own relationship is heavily strained. Until the end, they are lying to themselves and to each other about the fact that they continue to be emotionally and magically reliant on each other. After all, Lydia wouldn't say "I guess we really needed each other after all" in her dying moments with such surprise otherwise.

This is the second reason that I... well, I wouldn't quite call it a "theory," but I find it most impactful to read Edward and Lydia as characters for whom the concept of Love has baggage. And always has, from their origins as youth in a tough spot in an already amatonormative world.

Maybe the constant societal devaluing of platonic, familial bonds left them with serious emotional scars. Maybe the constant conflation of Love and morality just weighed on them and weighed on them and weighed on them until they decided: well, we don't love the way people expect us to, so we might as well give up on being the good people they expect us to be. We might as well embrace this new fuel of suffering.

...And you know, I hope this gets across what I mean when I always say I headcanon villains as aromantic to make them more sympathetic.

Edward and Lydia, textually, are already tragic villains. As twins and liches, they're also textually foil characters to several of the Seven Birds. But I also like to think that they have a lot in common with Magnus and Merle, and the possibility that tugs at my heartstrings the most is the possibility of them all falling under the aromantic umbrella.

#taz #taz balance #taz balance spoilers #magnus burnsides #merle highchurch #vogue elves #wonderland twins #(i always forget which tag i use for them lol)#aspec taz #taz meta #happy aro week this essay is my gift to myself <2

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genericpuff · 6 months

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Hey so I saw this on the Unpopular LO sub and the post was about Aphrodite sleeping with Zeus to get Eros out of a punishment.

Someone commented that apparently a lot of people didn't think what happened was considered coercion. Like what was Aphrodite supposed to do there? She was backed into a corner.

Do you have any thoughts or opinions on that whole scene?

I see a lot of this kind of sentiment in the fanbase when it comes to anyone who isn't Persephone. Any other female character who's either coerced into sex or outright assaulted just isn't treated with the same empathy and understanding as Persephone. This has been especially apparent with the recent subplot concerning Hera and Kronos, LO fans are literally shipping them - an abuser and his victim.

I think a lot of fans tend to view it as not being coercion because within that scene, Aphrodite was the first to imply sex as a bargaining chip. Zeus not offering first "absolves" him from being a manipulative person - someone who doesn't bat an eye at a woman putting herself in this position - but I can't help but be a little concerned that Rachel's poor framing here is what makes the fanbase go, "look at what Aphrodite is willing to do to get her way!" because "technically" Zeus didn't come up with it first.

That said, I'd like to give her benefit of the doubt and assume that's not the case - that the point of this was to highlight Zeus being a scumbag - but sometimes it's hard to tell when we know how much this comic has mistreated its female characters who are more "promiscuous" than Persephone. And by extension, her fanbase does the same thing by automatically siding against characters like Minthe and Aphrodite simply because they're women who are confident in their sexuality.

(^^^ this at least puts the blame back on Zeus because it strongly gets across that Aphrodite did what she felt she had to in a situation where she and Eros had no power, not what she wanted to, which is yes, coercion!)

#lore olympus critical #lo critical #anti lore olympus #ask me anything #ama #anon ama #anon ask me anything

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starberry-cupcake · 2 months

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Me reading this book is like trying to pin things to a cork board with red thread but the things I'm trying to pin down are fog and they vanish before I can grasp them.

Here's a visual representation of me finishing a chapter:

previously, in harrowbeenie the ninth:

this happened

currently, after chapter 5 (you're gonna have to be patient with this one):

we're moving back and forth between the second and third person

knowing now the content of the letters that yandere twin had talked about in the prologue, it makes some sense

but we aren't there yet

I need to point out something I don't think I specified enough last time

ice cube barbie changed eyes

people be changin' eyes here

she used to have eyes like harrow and now she has, and I quote: "ever since you had writhed in Lyctoral agony, her eyes had turned a yellow that made you dizzy to behold: a bronzed, hot, animal yellow, as amber as the inside of an egg"

this is from gideon's last ch.: "Gideon's eyes, as they always did, startled her: their deep, chromatic amber, the startling hot gold of freshly-brewed tea"

just gonna leave that there

but now, moving forward...or backwards to ch. 3 flashback of sorts

we got a recap of most of the events we knew, but in a gideon-less ver.

I'm gonna also point out that harrowbean mentions her mother holding her wrist the same way she said ice cube barbie did when they were in the coffin hangar

another addition to the clown emperor's story is that the Resurrection is described in harrow's memories as "ten thousand years ago had given them all release from death that none of them had deserved"

I don't know about any of this

we've got a disturbance in the force when harrow describes her parents finding out about the tomb thing

it says "her parents had...found out...about what she had done"

interesting edit of the story there

there's a gideon-sized hole in this story

there's also an interesting new count of nooses??

she says they tied five, two for mortus (???) but in gideon's book she said they tied their own nooses and then helped her tie hers, what's up with mortus having two??? is this nothing and I'm just obsessing about every detail???

I'm gonna start seeing palmolive's force ghost roaming around my house

at the end of ch. 3 it says "there had been another girl who grew up alongside Harrow—but she had died before Harrow was born"

this is a VERY INTERESTING wording

if someone dies before you are born, they can't grow up with you

UNLESS

I'm not gonna dwell on that yet

let's put a pin on that

ch. 4 has the re-apparition of yandere twin

*live studio audience cheers, maybe*

she gives her a letter addressed to her from her

the letter has a lot of instructions of things she doesn't remember at all and also are supposed to be opened at specific times/events

one of them says "in the event of the emperor's death"

another says it's in case she sees regina george twin, which makes a whole argument happen and knives are used to settle it

yandere twin will not hear someone imply her sister might be no longer with us

she probably isn't dead, this I know for certain, people wouldn't be confusing my names for them if that was all we got from her

the most important letter, though, is the one in case she sees camilla, who harrow claims not having interacted with ever

this is a very important thing to note, but most importantly, CAMILLA MENTION

very important to be noting who harrow remembers interacting with and who she doesn't

very important as well that she remembers yandere twin losing an arm in battle but does not remember gideon or camilla

I haven't mentioned it yet but, in the letter, past!harrow tells present!harrow that she needs to check yandere twin's tongue and lower mandibule

to which I think to myself "I bet she's gonna kiss her"

and that she did

which makes me want an edition of this book but with gideon commentary

like a dvd commentary but it's gideon commenting on all this stuff

and cracking jokes

because I bet she'd be cracking jokes about this

remember when she joked that yandere twin would marry mayonnaise uncle?

and then both harrow and mayonnaise uncle were like "ew the third's magic is weird"

imagine if she saw this display

another CRUCIAL thing is that harrow is doing like an oath to yandere twin as requested by past!harrow

and she says "by the ripped and remade soul of ortus nigenad"

and yandere twin goes "who? oh, yes—the cavalier"

I mean, mood at not remembering the names, but also SUSPICIOUS BEHAVIOR

she also tells present!harrow "I gave you something you cared about very deeply at the time"

side note, there is yet another moment in which chad is read for filth

get obliterated even in undeath, chad

last detail from this chapter is that harrowbean almost gets assassinated

maybe I should have started with that

at this point there's so much going on, death seems like a normal one

so yeah, she's gonna get killed with a pillow to the face and then she defends herself and discovers at the end of the chapter that she didn't hallucinate the whole thing and it was hidden from her on purpose that somebody tried to end her

so what's the point in being in this clown death star and surviving big brother canaan house if you can't even sleep peacefully???

moving on to chapter 5

remember the timeline I was making?

yeah, about that

chapter 5, in the third person continuity, establishes that what I saw previously was not necessarily a memory but an au memory

if we can call it something at this point

so my calculations were made as if the timeline was one

but this is not one timeline, it's a sort of parallel gideon-less one

of course my heart is making me believe the gideon-less one is the one that isn't real

and that past!harrow might know what's going on with that

maybe gideon's existence needs to be protected

maybe the emperor doesn't have to know about her

(I'm still holding on to the gideon hope, leave me alone)

but, in any case, present!harrow doesn't know

let's remember the prologue begun with harrow doing something she shouldn't and yandere twin saying something like "was there something in those letters I don't know about?"

I'm just gonna have to throw my timeline in the trash and start over with multiple timelines for now

ALSO, I didn't say anything about it yet, but it's mentioned that harrow is "in love" with ice cube barbie

take that as you will

which is another joke gideon has made in the past and would be stellar in a commentary of this

and, talking about things gideon would be awesome at commenting

in the new ortus-inclusive (?) narrative, ortus is talking about the epic of Matthias Nonius, who we know because harrow has compared gideon to him in the past

and also there's is a comment made about how ortus looks down on people who read "prurient magazines or pamphlets"

I really need gideon confessionals commentary over here

she also says that "the ninth house character, she was forced to admit, had always been low on wild and confident fucks"

yeah, well, how about that

and we end with THE FLIMSY

lots of important flimsies in this

she finds a note that reads "THE EGGS YOU GAVE ME ALL DIED AND YOU LIED TO ME"

ortus says he can't read it

but, in any case,

that made me stop in my tracks because I was reminded I forgot about the writing on the walls of canaan house?????

I filed it under canaan house weirdness but then, it was never talked about?????? again????

also the paper gideon found with her name

which I assumed was addressing the other gideon that not!dulcinea mentioned knowing

but who tf knows at this point

who knows what time and space are anymore

time to leave it for today...this is getting wild, you guys

#luly reacts to tlt #tlt spoilers #harrow the ninth #harrow the ninth spoilers #the locked tomb #long post #gif cw #me looking for that scene of Kim just to make that gif #I need to start making these shorter istg

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anothermansjeans · 9 months

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Read Your Mind

aaron hotchner x fem!reader

a/n: hello babes! i had originally posted this on patreon but wanted to share it with tumblr as well (ik i said it’d take like 2 weeks but here she is)! i’ll be writing the smut scenes to this fic and those will be patreon exclusives so if you wanna become a member it’s in my bio :)

wc: 1.1k

cw: implied sex, dry humping mention ?? i think that’s it!

inspiration: read your mind by sabrina carpenter

To say Y/N was frustrated would be an understatement. The constant mixed signals she has received from Aaron would make whiplash seem less painful, and she wasn’t being over dramatic.

When she first developed what was once a small crush— and is now almost what she thought was love— for her boss, she wouldn’t have ever thought he’d have even an ounce of any sort of romantic feelings for her, but after a drunken night out with the team and coming to the realization that they lived not even two buildings away from one another, confessions and heavy petting were exchanged. The next morning after mutual hungover groans were exchanged throughout the bullpen, Hotch called her into his office and made it very clear that lines were crossed… but also stated he had enjoyed himself. The confusion had begun there. Knowing he wasn’t typically one for physical contact, the feeling of him placing his hand onto her hand that rested on top of his desk sent a shock through her system. She enjoyed it, she really enjoyed it, but within thirty seconds of that contact he had also said how he needed her to get back to her desk— he needed to be alone to work.

Y/N brushed it off after that. Nothing was going to happen— Aaron liked what they did, but clearly didn’t want to pursue anything. That was understandable, and it would’ve stayed understandable if he kept up with the professionalism. Lack of said professionalism happened during a case in New York. Everyone had to share a room with someone except for one, and when it came down to pairing off Emily and JJ went off with each other, Derek and Spencer assumed they’d be the second pair, and Rossi claimed the solo room for himself. That left Y/N and Hotch with each other. It was very awkward for the first hour, but they slowly warmed up to each other again.

If anyone told Y/N that she would be having sex with Aaron that night she would’ve laughed in their face, and if anyone told her that they’d wake up in each other’s arms and bask in the warmth, she would’ve sent them to a mental institution. But it happened. After one too many glances they inevitably gave in, and that morning was a lot less awkward than the morning after their drunken dry humping.

But the cycle with Hotch continued after that. They’d share secret kisses, he’d tell her very sternly to get to work. They would spend the night with each other, he’d say they shouldn’t see each other for a while just to call her in the next night or two. At this point, she figured he was lonely but didn’t want to commit. She wasn’t sure how much longer she could play this game with him, and she would continue to mull it over in the early hours at the office before anyone else was there, stirring her coffee in the kitchenette until she felt a strong pair of hands touch her waist.

“I miss you.”

His voice was raspy, like he woke up not too long ago and just came in. She knew his statement was referring to the small break in seeing each other he had suggested, and the thought of it made her upset, causing her to place her coffee on the counter and turn around, crossing her arms.

“I can’t read your mind.” Her statement caused him to lift an eyebrow, forcing her to elaborate. “I’m a profiler, and for the love of God I cannot read what the hell is going on in your mind. You say that we need to stop and then you call me whenever you deem it’s a good time. You know we’re crossing a line here, make that very clear, but still see me in a romantic setting. I can't read your mind.”

His hands had dropped from her waist, and he took a step back. “There’s nothing to read here, Y/N. I thought we were together.”

She scoffed, causing him to wince, “then why the fuss, Aaron? Why are you saying things but doing the opposite? Why the mixed signals?” She waited a minute, staring back at him, waiting for him to say something, but when he didn’t, she grabbed her coffee and started to take off.

“Wait.” He hooked his hand around her elbow, causing her to turn back to him. “You’re right. I’ve screwed up. I don’t know what I’m doing half of the time— I don’t typically date, but Y/N, I’m not lying when I say that there is no one else I would want to be experiencing this with. I was actually hoping that you’re it for me.”

A small part of her wanted to laugh in his face. After countless days trying to read what the hell was going on in his mind, this wasn’t even on the forefront of the mental list she compiled. The biggest part of her wanted to believe him. She really did, but she had nothing to go on. “I need you to prove it, Aaron. I feel like I’m clueless here and I just—”

He swiftly cut her off by tugging her towards him and smashing their lips together. This kiss was a lot different than the secret or drunken ones they’ve shared. It felt like the real deal for Y/N, and she could’ve stayed there forever if it wasn’t for the small crash as well as the exclaimed “oh!” they heard.

Breaking apart, they turned their heads to see a very frazzled Penelope standing there with her hands in a surrendering position, lips in an “oh” shape, and a broken mug on the floor. No one spoke immediately, but once everyone was fully aware of the situation at hand, Penelope went down to the floor and started scooping up the broken pieces. “I am so sorry sir… and Y/N! I’m uh— I‘ll just—”

“It’s okay, Garcia,” Hotch’s voice was gruff, “I’ll clean it up. Just get ready for the briefing.”

She had slowly gotten up and wiped her hands across her dress. “Yes, sir,” she spoke quietly, but once she turned around and scurried away Y/N could hear a quiet “I am so telling Derek I was right.”

Surprisingly, it wasn’t awkward afterwards as they both pitched in to clean the broken glass. Their slightly heated faces and hidden smiles were enough for them to both understand what the other was thinking— this thing between them was real, and they had to practice avoiding the rest of the team for anything other than case related things.

#criminal minds fanfic #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #hotch x reader #criminal minds #aaron hotchner x female reader

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vidavalor · 6 months

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👋 Hello! I love your metas and I was hoping you could help me out with something that still confuses me. All the evidence points to Crowley having had his memories taken by Heaven when he Fell, but why? Falling already punishes him and removes him as a threat, the two things which seem to be the purpose in Gabe's case, so what would the point be?

(Did I send this twice? I'm sorry if I sent it twice.)

Hello! :) Hope you're having a great night. I was making stuffing for Thanksgiving earlier so there are apples and hot apple cider for snacks tonight. (Problematic holiday, I know, but I do like the food.)

TWs for memory loss, trauma, PTSD.

I don't actually think that Crowley lost his memories when he Fell to Hell. Like you pointed out in your question when you referenced what The Metatron tried to do to Gabriel before Gabriel outsmarted them, taking memories from angels as punishment for subversion is a way of trying to keep fascist control. It's an attempt at eliminating threats to the social order of Heaven. (So are things like telling angels that they're superior to humanity and that to indulge in any human desires is beneath them, which serves a purpose of keeping them all from going to Earth and realizing how enjoyable being human is and defecting.) I don't actually see any evidence that memory loss is part of the actual Fall to Hell. If that were the case, then the memories of all the demons we've met should be suspect but the only demon we've actually met whose memory is shown to be unreliable is Crowley. We've gotten to know a half-dozen other demons over two seasons fairly well and none of them have problems remembering their times as angels that we've been shown so far. Add in the fact that S2 shows us that angels can lose their memories without being sent to Hell-- like what The Metatron tried to do to Gabriel, as well as what I think is implied happened to Muriel-- and now we have more evidence that a being can lose their memory in Heaven than we do that they lose it when they're sent to Hell.

That suggests to me that Crowley actually had his memories taken from him-- likely more than once-- while he was an angel, prior to his eventual Fall to Hell. It also makes this line make more sense:

Neil Gaiman has called Crowley "an unreliable narrator" regarding his Fall and that's a clever way of putting it, imo, because Crowley, we've come to learn, is an unreliable narrator about his entire existence pre-Fall, in the sense that he can't really remember it. He is unreliable about his Fall because he can't remember what led to it. He knows he asked a lot of questions but he doesn't remember what they were. His Fall was just what they did after they decided his inquisitiveness was irrepressible. I take the "sauntered vaguely downwards" as hinting that he lost his memories more than once and that he knows it. Crowley knows about his past more than he remembers his past, from what we've seen.

He knows he used to make stars and that he helped create gravity and build the universe. He knows some of the nebulae he made. He knows he knew Aziraphale. Knowing isn't the same as remembering, though. We know from his conversation with Gabriel that he's tried to force himself to remember things before and that it's been a very painful-- and not terribly successful-- process. I'd wager he's nearly discorporated himself more than once trying to remember Aziraphale. Most of what he knows about his past is probably what Aziraphale has told him. The rest is a blur of what he calls "looking at where the furniture isn't"-- bits and pieces without the context needed to understand them. If his memory is a room, then his experience with his memories of Heaven are basically I know that chair but... I don't know where I saw it before, if I've really seen it before, what happened the last time I saw it if I did, where it came from, who else knows about the chair, what room the chair is in, where the room is, what is in the empty spaces between the pieces of furniture, what the purpose of the room is, whether or not the chair is really a threat to me and if I can trust it, why the thought of this chair makes me feel the things I feel about it...

That's terrifying, right? That would be terrifying once and I think the fact that he's referred to as persistently asking questions and that he Fell "in the old days" where asking questions "was all you had to do to become a demon" indicates that he was damned to Hell once there eventually was one but, prior to that, he was punished with his memories taken and probably more than once.

Crowley has known nothing before but for the certainty that if he's just around that one, particular angel with the beautiful eyes that everything will be better.

#ineffable husbands #good omens #crowley #aziraphale #good omens 2 #aziracrow #good omens meta #tw memory loss #tw ptsd #tw trauma

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therantingsage · 1 month

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Misc additional observations/notes relating to the implication analysis post that I either forgot to add or omitted for pacing reasons.

This one's embarrassing to admit, but I literally did not remember this until the post was done and posted:

N being bad at keeping things to himself is literally the first thing we learn about him when he starts talking. "Inclusive reflexes" isn't what teaches Uzi this, it's literally the first thing she finds out about his character, so she has no excuse. There is no plausible deniability she knows her boyfriend can't keep secrets.

((Unrelated to anything but since I'm talking about the pilot like. Why does he fan himself here. Dude you don't even have feelings for her yet bro what's this about. Guy who really likes strong personalities I guess))

N's tiny little smile in Promening when Uzi admits to wanting his help. He's like, critically underappreciated by the people around him before this so Uzi reaching out to him here must be so meaningful to him. He wants to be helpful and she's letting him be.

And Uzi, too, despite being stubborn about it. N being so eager to offer help in the first place isn't something she's used to, either. I'm pretty sure the (correct) general consensus is that this is the episode she falls for him, and honestly all the blushing has very little to do with why I think that's the case.

Because, like...no one really bothered even pretending to get along with her. Like, aside from Thad, but that's for like one scene total before N enters the picture, and Uzi's "how do you know my name, people willingly talk to you" implies to me that they didn't have a lot of, if any, meaningful interactions before that point anyway. And then here comes N, who despite how they'd parted, doesn't even seem upset with her. They both spent their time apart terrified of things being bad between them....but it all just melts away when they reunite and the mutual genuine concern shines through. It's great.

N maybe has fragments of memories of life at the manor, not a lot, but he probably has the vague sense that people used to be nicer to him in general. So it's not as foreign to him. Uzi does not have that luxury so having N be so enthusiastically in her corner definitely touches her heart. And it shows through in how she interacts with him in this episode.

There's lots and lots of little moments in Cabin Fever that I like but this tiny sheepish blush is a funny one. Like he just. Alluded to talking about her. And that flusters her for some reason. We have no idea how much time has actually passed since the last episode but its clear from how little it takes for this reaction to happen that her feelings have grown stronger. She likes him and its cute.

This scene is one I want to talk about in more detail, though. Home establishes that V still has faint lingering feelings for N, so it's not that hard to assume that her behavior here is at least partially motivated by jealousy. She's petty and vindictive and jealous...but most importantly she's perceptive.

Uzi has abandonment issues, which I think is easy enough to understand so I'm not going to elaborate on it. But V figured that out, and makes this threat with the knowledge that Uzi is worried about being abandoned. Uzi fears the idea that she wouldn't be missed if she disappeared, and here comes V, claiming that the one person she cares most about wouldn't care either. Hitting her where it hurts, trying to convince her that her fears are justified and inevitable.

It's likely that this moment contributes to her eventually going feral. That the stress overheats her faster.

She's incredibly vulnerable, when she snaps out of it. Shares that specific fear with N, who reassures her. Because this whole scene is him telling her that no, he wouldn't be able to just get over it if she was gone, because their brief time apart in this single episode was already something that scared him. That she's already become important enough to him that her absence was keenly felt.

It's probably around here, or a bit after this point in the nebulous timeskip between this episode and the next, that N falls for her. Scratch that, his whole speech, as I said in the prior post, just...really feels like some kind of romantic-adjacent confession. But I don't think it WAS explicitly them confessing feelings for each other. N figures out he likes her in this episode I'd like to think, but that speech was the closest he could come to admitting that. Cuz. Y'know. Uzi needs reassurance in other ways right now, no point in muddying the issue.

((and also not news to anybody I'm sure but the song that plays during that scene is LITERALLY called 'Falling...for you??' so. y'know. hindsight is 20/20 this is genuinely the moment he realizes his feelings for her are romantic))

And additional thing I like that I think about a lot, but the way he deliberately choses to switch his hands to claws when he pries her wings open. "I'm a monster, leave me be" she says, to which he replies "Hey, look, I am too, see? It's ok". It's great, he's mirroring, trying to make her feel seen. And by the vulnerability of her next line, it works. They really just, understand each other so damn well.

Home stuff. The fact that the first word that comes to mind to describe him is 'cute' is funny enough, but the fact that she even goes so far as to SAY it out loud before hastily correcting herself. Looking at her bf's baby pictures-coded. Has to keep her image up tho, this version doesn't know her so she can't be too weird or open about it.

But she still wants this version to think she's cool cuz she's a dork who likes him. It's unclear how much of this episode is diegetic when you subtract Uzi, but since these are memories and not proper time travel, we don't know to what extent Uzi's trying to avoid affecting the events. She might not care at all. Did the real N even go down to that basement willingly at any point? I doubt it. But we don't know! And also that's not what I'm making this post to talk about.

Funny Solvercam-Uzi body language on display. Delighted he recognizes her finally, spits out something edgy to play it cool (genuinely my favorite Uzi line of all time), sheepishly looks back at him, and shyly averts her gaze when he thanks her before looking back. Had she her regular face I'm sure she'd be smiling and blushing about it. It's cute as hell. It's very open delight, when you think about it. But still awkwardly teenage. It's easy to see this and have it make a whole lotta sense if they were already dating at this point. Got that meaningful eye contact going on. She likes making him happy so she's proud she succeeded.

Him trying to help steady her when they land. She blushes and slaps his hand away like 'dude I'm fine people are LOOKING at us stoooooop >:('

Her tail chewing on him is fine tho because we don't know if she controls it fully or if it does things subconsciously. And also the others aren't actually looking at them in this shot. Neither of them make the tail stop chewing so at the very least N doesn't mind.

Still flustered easily when he shows her he cares tho. Early-relationship 'hehehe he likes meeee' moment, adorable. Still clearly giddy that someone cares about her.

He's so conflicted after 'Tessa' tells him Uzi needs to die. He loves her, he loves her so so much, but Tessa is his oldest friend. All the memories he has of her paint a picture of someone he's supposed to listen to. Someone he can trust. Someone who wouldn't lie to him. He spends the rest of this episode bracing himself for a goodbye he doesn't want to give and its heartbreaking.

And despite his fear...Uzi still manages to comfort him the best way she knows how. And it gets him to smile! Because that's what the two of them are to each other. He's scared...but she's with him, so its less scary.

They've both caught up to the moment. 'Oh. We're still holding hands while the other two can see oh god'. They're both tight-lipped. She bumps him and they let go, maybe N thinks 'oh, right, yeah, not in public' but then they hold hands again but with intent this time.

And once again, it gets N to smile! And a second later Uzi does too! Awkward little moment of intimacy that must be so refreshing for them because there's so much heavy stuff happening but now they get to be distracted thinking about something lower-stakes.

To me, this bit is an interesting parallel to the Cabin Fever falling scene. He tends to be pretty perceptive about Uzi's worries. He's a good listener. Uzi fears abandonment, he fires back with a promise to stay with her.

But here, the thing Uzi fears is that things are being kept from her. That these two are keeping secrets from her. But instead of assuring her that they'll talk later, like they said they would, he instead chooses to use this moment to put his foot down with 'Tessa'. He just lost V maybe, and he's not willing to lose Uzi too, so he's decided she must be wrong about this being the only solution to the problem.

Up until that very moment, she didn't realize hurting her was on the table. It comes out of nowhere, freaks her out, and confirms her fear that she's not being told something. So she runs.

And the guilt he feels for scaring her off is heartbreaking. Half this episode is limb-chopping, genuinely, so the fact that he chooses this bone-saw to cut himself free instead of the litany of other things he has that he knows are quicker can't be a coincidence. He's punishing himself. And, additionally, probably reminding himself of V, hiding things because he worries the truth will hurt. Which makes the V hologram showing up moments later thematically very appropriate.

Can't add anymore pictures to this so maybe I'll make a part three later lol

#Murder Drones #Nuzi #biscuitbites #md N #md Uzi #Uzi Doorman #These aren't as vital to my point last time but I still think about them

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noa-ciharu · 7 months

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I'm not sure if I'm onto something here but this page/explanation plus everything that follows has always been suspicious to me

First and foremost: blood poisoning isn't most peaceful way to die, far from that. If poison is so lethal Dazai and Fyodor are supposed to die in 30 mins symptoms would have started showing right away - and yet throught whole Meursalut escape arc we see none. Not a single 'I'm feeling weak'. It's stated that Fyodor spent 5 mins just waiting for Chuuya to arrive so I'm really doubtful whole sequence of him and Chuuya nearly drowning, then killing time halting ability user, trying to drown Sigma and Dazai, Fyodor's and Sigma's confrontation and Fyodor's escape could have happened under 25 mins. Of course, it could be that whatever Nikolai gave them takes more than half an hour to kill a human but that still doesn't explain 1) why no symptoms 2) why neither Dazai nor Fyodor seem to be in the hurry to leave

Therefore my assumption is that whatever Nikolai gave them wasn't lethal in the first place.

But why lie then? Why organize the whole game to begin with?

Well, it's certainly challenging to determine motives of character as unpredictable as Nikolai. His absurdist life philosophy of seeking freedom by trying to escape himself and what makes him human certainly doesn't help the case. One of guesses can be pure entertainment, just for sake of it. For an entertainer it fits the bill. But I think there's more to it.

Except he doesn't really. By now we know whatever Fyodor's ability is that it isn't combat one - if Nikolai wanted to kill him he wouldn't necessarily need to know what it is. Not to mention Sigma can extract info from corpses, meaning they can kill Fyodor and then find out about his ability. While I'm certain Nikolai doesn't really want Fyodor dead, I can't claim with absolutely certain at that point in manga he's aware of that himself (of course he is after Fyodor 'dies' later on).

Much rather than that I think Nikolai is trying to kill what Fyodor evoke in him - feeling of being understood and wanting to understand other in return. That'll explain the game, trying to break Fyodor out of the prison without being too straightforward about it because he himself cannot decide what he really wants and stick by one decision, putting trust on test, wanting to know about Fyodor's ability and generally about Fyodor and so on.

While it's definitely arguable if Dazai would receive an antidote if he just killed Fyodor without actually escaping, it's also worth noting he was leisure with time (aka had time of his life soft bulling Sigma). Of course, chapter where Dazai talks with Nikolai post all the mess is yet to come out so it's impossible to tell in advance, but I have a hunch Dazai knew right from the start there's no danger of blood poisoning. Or at very least took gamble on that. Nikolai said something among "my apologies I have to poison you too but he (fyodor) wouldn't take the syringe otherwise" so it's clear right off the bat Dazai doesn't really hold his interest in that whole game. He's there for Fyodor and brought Sigma with him to extract information out of him.

As for Fyodor, did he knew blood poisoning wasn't a thing? Before chapter 111 I would have said yes given he too didn't seem to he in the hurry to escape, had no symptoms and didn't take the antidote right off the bat when Nikolai gave it to him. But then we have this:

Does Fyodor mean poison or game itself? My guess is poison because if latter that'd imply Fyodor expected Nikolai to help him break out of Mesaurlet which would imply broken trust. And we all know Fyodor and placing trust in others is like oil and water

To me Nikolai looks straightout dejected here. He's a performer that revels in these types of high stakes game, he should be grinning like a madman - but he's not. So in my opinion he was searching something from Fyodor here that he didn't quite get. It could be just in this scene/exchange or in whole game. But if my hunch that Nikolai was trying to get Fyodor out of Meursalut just needed Fyodor to place iota trust in him is correct, then Fyodor stamping over that hope and failing to see Nikolai's intention wasn't to kill him despite his theatrical proclaims it is would be reason for dejection. Whatever bids for connection he was looking in Fyodor likely won't be returned because of Fyodor's mistrust in people and abiding by cold rationale rather than intuition/emotions.

Therefore my conclusion is that whole Gogol game was a test:

- for Fyodor to put trust in others when he has no rational basis to (his major character flaw) - and that's precisely why he lost in the end. I could go miles here how Dazai put trust in Chuuya (and even Sigma) and how those bonds are very reason he managed to win but that's for some other time gives there's a lot to be talked about soukoku, I'd like to focus on doa trio here.

- for Sigma to realize the difference between being used and being of use, aka realize difference between transaction and a bond. I'd say he did well by placing trust in Dazai but it's yet to be seen if his decision to take Fyodor's hand was the 'right' one. His character arc ain't over, it heavily depends on what info he extracted from Fyodor so it's too early to tell how it'll go. Also this depends on Dazai's actions anime hasn't shown, like will he stick to his promise to save Sigma or not. Given promise he made to Oda 4 years before, I think it's definitely in character for Dazai to come back for him, fetch comatose Sigma and bring him to Yokohama.

- for Nikolai himself to realize what he wants to do with feeling of emotional/intellectual connection he deemed as 'imprisoning'. He's at conundrum himself what he wants to do with Fyodor: help him or kill him - accept the instinct or fight against it for no other reason than to oppose very self - lose sight of himself in the end just like Fyodor said. If we go by anime ending (I doubt manga one will be much diffrent), he came to realization how Fyodor changed his life and how he actually never wanted him dead but it was too late by then. Now haunted by realization only one who ever understood him and only person he ever felt connected to is dead, Nikolai will come to realize true hell of being imprisoned by own mind without means of escaping.

All three of them had some sort of downfall induced by their 'cardinal sins'; their own 'decays' as downfalls source from inner character flaws, so to speak.

#my ramblings #bsd analysis #bsd #bsd sigma #fyodor dostoevsky #nikolai gogol #dazai osamu #and i guess this is sort of #fyolai #bungou stray dogs

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sokkastyles · 4 months

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Hi,

Hope you are doing well.

Thank you for the answer on the Final Agni Kai. I had some questions regarding one of your favorite topics TSR.

Aang's line, "I forgive you, that give you any ideas?" which he uses when Zuko and Katara take Appa seems wrong to me in many ways. It really feels like he desperately wants Katara to forgive Yon Rah, not even realizing that its just not possible for Katara to forgive Yon Rah. In a way, it really shows his discomfort with Katara's darker emotions, but she had been feeling that way since her mother died, along with the fact that she had no idea she could even confront him till Zuko gave her that information.

Do you think that a huge moment of growth for Aang would have to acknowledge this side of Katara as well?

I would like your thoughts on this.

Yeah, that "I forgive you" line is Aang being desperate. It's also really condescending and tone deaf to even compare his "forgiveness" in this scene to Katara forgiving Yon Rah.

I put forgiveness in quotes because Aang absolutely does NOT forgive Katara for taking Appa. He just knows he can't stop her at this point. The sarcastic tone and "that give you any ideas?" make him look pretty hypocritical because he is neither being forgiving nor understanding, he's just being flippant and dismissive.

It's also really clueless for Aang to make this comparison in the first place because, once again, Aang thinks the way to get Katara to listen to him is to compare her to a murderer. People talk a lot about how hurtful it was for him to compare Katara to Jet, when Katara was strongly against the things Jet did and was hurt by him personally. But let's talk for a minute about how Aang's new tactic is to literally compare her to her mom's murderer and compare her forgiving Yon Rah to him forgiving her for taking Appa without permission after she repeatedly tried to get Aang to listen to why she needed to go and he shut her down.

It takes a lot less for Aang to forgive Katara here than it would for Katara to forgive Yon Rah, so this kinda puts a damper on his whole "forgiveness is hard" theme. And even so, as I said above, he's not really forgiving her, he's just making a sarcastic comment while still judging her. Aang is not being the arbiter of forgiveness here that he pretends to be.

Let's also look at the conversation in context because I have more to say here.

Aang is flippant and dismissive - while also implying that Katara taking Appa is comparable to her mother's murder. And I'm not saying it wasn't probably hurtful to Aang that Katara would take Appa without his permission, especially considering what Appa means to him, but it's not comparable to cold blooded murder motivated by genocide. In any way. And, like, considering how they left things in the previous scene, with Katara telling Aang she had to go, what did Aang think Katara was going to do?

I'm pretty sure I've also mentioned before how this plot point is manufactured to make Katara look worse. However, in the previous episode, Sokka tried to take Appa without permission and the only reason he didn't was because Zuko pointed out that it was a stupid idea and he happened to have a war balloon stashed away, which he conveniently no longer has as of TSR. This is basically a case of moral luck, where a character's morality is judged based on plot contrivance.

(I've also said before that Aang not killing Ozai is down to moral luck, but that's another conversation.)

So Aang is flippant and condescending, and Katara seriously and very directly tells him that yes, she is going to take Appa. Mae Whitman's voice acting is phenomenal in this scene, btw. She sounds so sad, because I think she does feel that she is betraying Aang by doing this, but she tried to tell him why she needed to do it. She tried. He didn't listen.

Then she says "don't try to stop us," and Aang says he wasn't going to and that "this is a journey you have to take," but, again, it doesn't feel like he's saying this because he really believes it. It feels like he's saying it because he has realized at this point that he can't stop them from going, short of attacking them. But if he thought he could, he definitely would have continued to try to stop them.

Which brings me also to Zuko's sarcastic comment. Because Aang's the one who sets the tone for this conversation. Zuko simply responds in kind. Katara, by contrast, continues to speak in the same sad, hurt, but firm and direct tone, and thanks Aang for understanding. She thanks him. For understanding. When Aang is offering none of that to her.

I actually think Aang could learn more from Katara about forgiveness, given how much restraint she uses towards Aang here and the way he's treating her.

I think Zuko saw that, too, and that's why he responds angrily to Aang here. Not because he disagrees with Aang's beliefs but because Katara keeps quietly but firmly telling him what she's going to do and he keeps ignoring her and acting like she's being irrational.

I've said this before, too, but that would also be triggering for Zuko to watch this happening, considering how he's been gaslit by his family. Notice how he's quiet until the end of the conversation (and didn't say much in the conversation before that, either.) Aang's language, even if well-intentioned, would probably set off something in him and he's not wrong to defend Katara.

#katara #the southern raiders #zuko #aang critical #antikataang #zutara #not really but using the ship tags to be safe

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housethemd · 5 months

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Rewatched the S2 finale last night

Can we talk how most of the episode is a hallucination/dream, therefore everything everyone says to him is actually his own thoughts?

They do draw attention to it with the fellows, but it’s true for everything Cuddy says, everything Wilson says, everything the gunman says.

“You pretend to buck the system, pretend to be a rebel, claim to hate rules. But all you do is substitute your own rules for society's. And it's a nice, simple rule: tell the blunt, honest truth in the starkest, darkest way. And what will be, will be. What will be, should be. And everyone else is a coward. But you're wrong. It's not cowardly to not call someone an idiot. People aren't tactful or polite just because it's nice. They do it because they've got an ounce of humility. 'Cause they know that they will make mistakes. They know that their actions have consequences. And they know that those consequences are their fault. Why do you want so bad not to be human, House?”

“You think that the only truth that matters is the truth that can be measured. Good intentions don't count, what's in your heart doesn't count, caring doesn't count, that a man's life can't be measured by how many tears are shed when he dies. It's because you can't measure them. It's because you don't want to measure them. Doesn't mean it's not real. And even if I'm wrong, you're still miserable. Did you really think that your life's purpose was to sacrifice yourself and get nothing in return? No. You believe there is no purpose to anything. Even the lives you save you dismiss. You turn the one decent thing in your life and you taint it, strip it of all meaning. You're miserable for nothing. I don't know why you'd want to live.”

These are House’s thoughts ABOUT HIMSELF. Which is just so heartbreaking on repeat watches where you know this is the case while it’s happening.

I find the line “I don’t know why you’d want to live” especially heartbreaking because over the course of the series House implies he thinks or at one point thought about suicide somewhat regularly, and this being his own mind questioning why he’d want to live?

I have so many feelings I cannot put into words.

#house md #hate crimes md #greg house #dr house #gregory house #tw suicide mention

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rolanpilled · 8 months

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Rolan, and how he deals with grief

Here's a Rolan fact I actually forgot until now.

BG3 spoilers under cut + TW for suicide

If both Rolan and ONE of his siblings die, it is implied in the script that the remaining sibling commits suicide by walking into the shadow curse -

++++++

Player: I did what I could to save him. (after Rolan dies)

Lia: Doesn't matter, does it? They're gone.

Lia: Everyone I've ever loved is dead. I did this - I failed them. [devnote: her grief is starting to overwhelm her, she blames herself and thinks she's worthless]

Lia: You won't see me again. [devnote: she's planning to walk into the cursed darkness to die - alone]

Player: He died as he lived - stupidly.

Cal: Rolan could be stubborn, but he was never malicious. Not like you. [devnote: despite his grief, he feels pity for the player]

Cal: Everyone I've ever loved is dead. I have nothing. [devnote: shellshocked, unable to process what happened]

Cal: You won't see me again. [devnote: he's planning to walk into the cursed darkness to die - alone]

++++++

There are a lot of thoughts I have about this - for one, Lia seems to have a similar reaction to Rolan if he loses his siblings. Despite their differences in opinion, they've probably had more influence on each others' behaviors and internal morals than they think. On the other hand, Cal seems so shocked that he's unable to process reality, I think this signals to a certain type of dynamic between the three where his (presumably older) siblings were like protectors or mentors to him.

The main thought I have is that in most situations (aside from saving everyone), Rolan is often the one who ends up as the sole survivor after his siblings die at Moonrise. But he survives in all cases, heading to Baldur's Gate and resuming his apprenticeship. The grief might be enough to kill him if he truly had nothing else, but he pushes through it regardless, because otherwise, the loss would have been for nothing, which is something he himself admits is hubris (in his journal). Rolan's logical approach to life backfires on him; if he's so great, if he's a hero, why couldn't he save the two people who meant the most to him? He's had this idea all his life, that he's talented and powerful, so he's supposed to be able to protect everyone on his own, and when he can't do that, the magnitude of his failure is such that he can't even process it himself. He has to try and move on with his life because that's what he'd want from them - so that's what they would have wanted for him (if Rolan dies, he leaves behind a hologram telling his surviving sibling/s to head to Baldur's Gate and move on quickly from the grief).

His apprenticeship is really all that's left to him at that point, the only thing distracting him from his overwhelming grief. That's what makes it all the more tragic that Lorroakan turns out to be who he is, a selfish, hybristic abuser who treats him no better than a servant. There's something so heartbreaking about seeing how bitter and hopeless he becomes after his siblings' death, knowing he has nowhere else to go.

#rolan #rolan bg3 #bg3 rolan #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 spoilers #can i just give rolan a big hug?#tw: suicide mention #tw: abuse mention

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grandmother-goblin · 2 months

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Okay, I swear I'll be done talking about how I miss EA Wyll for a while after this (not to say I don't love Full Release Wyll! I love him too! I just grew attached to certain aspects of EA Wyll)

One thing that I found really interesting about EA Wyll was his relationship with Mizora. In Early Access, we do not meet Mizora, but it's heavily implied that Wyll and Mizora had an entirely different relationship than the do in the Full Release version of the game. A relationship that I personally thought was really interesting!

Now, I'm drawing from knowledge from MONTHS ago since I don't have EA in front of me, but I did have 500 hours in EA so I like to think I'm not completely misremembering stuff lol (if I am, please kindly let me know!)

Here is what we knew (or was implied) about Wyll's relationship with Mizora in Early Access.

Mizora originally came to Wyll as a human, seemingly seduced him as a human, and it was only after he took her deal did she reveal that she was a devil (which pissed him off).

Mizora was kidnapped and imprisoned on the Mind Flayer ship too! In EA, Wyll wasn't looking for Karlach, he was desperately trying to find Mizora! (In EA, you could find Mizora's pod beneath the bridge leading to the Blighted Village and Wyll would comment on it. The pod is still there in Full Release, but there isn't any interaction with it.)

Wyll was actively in negotiations with Mizora to end his pact! Wyll seemed decently convinced that she was going to wilingly end the pact too!

Mizora actually uses Wyll's Sending Stone eye! This one was easy to miss; you had to have Wyll in the party as you were approaching the Goblin Camp for the first time. As you were walking, you suddenly heard Wyll say something like "Wait... hello??" and then he'd a ! over his head. When you spoke to him (I can't remember the first line exactly, but I believe he just tells you that it was Mizora reaching out) and then the interaction ends with a desperate cry from Wyll saying "Mizora! Where are you?!"

When Wyll calls out to Mizora, it's not angry; it's fearful and desperate. Like he's actually worried about her. I think this points to Wyll and Mizora having a more amicable relationship (but, of course, there are different and equally valid interpretations of this such as Wyll fearing for what might happen to him if something happens to Mizora, etc)

Wyll could potentially torture an innocent man to get information on Mizora's whereabouts. If I remember right, he will do this if you don't step in yourself and let him make the choice.

Lastly, Wyll also says the goblins would be doing him a "great favor" if they killed Mizora, "or so [he] thought on his darkest days" (quotes are approximations, again, I don't have EA in front of me).

I guess I miss the potential complexity of Wyll's relationship with Mizora from EA! In Full Release, it is very clear that Mizora is wicked and Wyll pretty much hates her, but that didn't seem to be the case in EA. There seemed to be a fascinating push and pull to their relationship that I was dying to learn more about!

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #grandmother goblin grumbles #wyll ravengard

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she-wee · 6 months

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The tangled alenoah AU actually makes tons of sense

Let's start with Flinn Rider or Eugene.

Alejandro and Eugene have the SAME PERSONALITY. They will use people often, but it is also easily tricked himself. Uses flirtation to get what he wants (bonus cuz it did not work on Rapunzel and def would not work on Noah) and his character arc a has alot to do with his name (not in the same context but I digress). Both are ok with singing to get what he wants, both like money a lot, and both change that when they meet their partner (cannon partner in Alejandros case).

Also, they are both extremely smart but also just silly little guys. From Alejandro, making a puppet of himself to Eugene fighting with a horse like it's a person to get the crown back. They have the accusational sarcastic whip, like Alejandro teasing Heather by calling her Mrs. Alejandro and Eugene joked with Rapunzel by lying that she begged him to marry her. Convince me that's not the same vibe, is it not?

Now when it comes to Rapunzel, we hit a brick wall.

Because Noah and Rapunzels personalities are miles different, but we do see lots of time we're she very intelligent and hard-headed, which are words you could describe Noah with. But for the majority of the movie, she's up and dancing around smiling and taking in this new world. We can't say if Noah would be the same because, obviously, that's never happened to him.

Though Noah's not so static all the time, in RR we see have a lot of mushy emotions and easily saving Emma from DEATH and stating something after, implying that if it was anyone else he probably wouldn't have. There are scenes where Rapunzel acts on life-threatening situations with a quickness because Eugene's in danger shows a connection. And I wouldn't say it's a stretch, bc if it's and -ALENOAH- AU,,,, then of course he going the like Alejandro in the AU???

Plus, Rapunzel was fully willing to sacrifice herself for Eugene, something Noah's hopless romantic ass would do. Also, Rapunzel likes books, and she has moments that are on the spott BANGER lines (Ex., "Did I mumble, mother?" ) , like Noah. And, in that one scene where Rapunzel is all mushy to Maximus ( the white horse) while degrading Eugene,, WAS SO ALENOAH CODED... and, yes, it's more fandom. But in like 3/4 of Alenoah fics, Noah is having trouble trusting Alejandro, like Rapunzel does with Eugene. ( The last one is a stretch, and I realize that)

If you have other opinions or you feel I messed a point, just tell me.

(originally ( i think) by @bbycha25 on Tumbler)

#total drama #alenoah #tdi #total drama au #tangled au #tangled #Alejandro is literally Eugene #Badass Rapunzel #not haye aleheather tho #noah is a hopeless romantic #rip #reference to ships i dont ship #no hate to Aleheather tho #or Nemma

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senblades · 27 days

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Who are your fav persona 3 people!!!

[cracks knuckles] I'm glad you asked

So! I don't actively /dislike/ anyone in the p3 cast, but some of them definitely speak to me more than others:

First things first: Ryoji. Love that guy. He's so silly. And so tragic. And he makes me sad. (Like holy SHIT I wasn't expecting a reprise of his song in the stage play on December 31st but it TOOK ME OUT) (also Ryomina my love)

The whole Shinji, Ken, and Akihiko trio ALSO lives in my head rent free... two idiots and their son. love them. I've been desperately scouring for Akishinji content and between that, Ryomina, and Shuake, I've come to realise that my shipping habits seem to boil down to "doomed yaoi" HAHA

More on Ken, I have a LOT of thoughts about how he and Akechi would interact and (likely) get along. Whether that be in the p5 era or a situation a la Throw Away Your Mask. (Or, something I've yet to find: Akechi with no time travel shenanigins getting in on the p3 plot. You can bet THAT'S a longfic idea I've got rattling around) (Also the half-brothers headcanon is super fun. Especially when combined with Futago siblings. Congratulations, Shido! All your kids are persona users, and they all hate you! :D)

Aigis! She's just. Infinitely charming. She'll say something that will absolutely take me out and then turn around and say something devestating HAHA. I also think that her and Ryoji's social link and linked episodes respectively do a LOT of thematic work in the story. Death himself and the girl that can't die, both trying to figure out how to live (y'all that shit's METAL)

Strega are so interesting to me... I don't think they're perfect villains- I think their motivation is underexplored and a bit choppy, but ASIDE from that, I really like all three of them as characters. Idk why Jin is so funny to me LMAO he's so in love with Takaya and Takaya's just like "k. met your quota yet?" (But, also, some of Takaya's lines definitely imply that he cares about Jin too, but doesn't let himself acknowledge that at all due to his whole "attachments are weakness" shtick, another thematic point to contest his ideology, as he is actively denying himself happiness in pursuit of some idea of salvation)

Chidori- I like her well enough. Some of her lines really did make me smile, but I think she's another case of "underdeveloped" (I actually read Throw Away Your Mask before I played p3r, so that fic did a lot of the heavy lifting for my like of Chidori (and, by extension, Jundori) i think)

Which leads nicely into: Junpei! He's da man. Nuff' said. HAHA if you can't tell, I love Junpei. Awkward dudebro stuff aside (though it's occasionally part of his charm), I really love his development and personality in general. I really love how all the "bro" characters across the modern three persona games, while fulfilling the same archetype, are all distinct in personality and motivation and I love them ALL

Mitsuru is quite interesting to me, but I think she might be a case of "I wish her social link was about something else". Personal preference of course, but I kind of wish that it focused more on this intense guilt she seems to have for things that a) weren't her fault, and b) happened when she was 7 or younger. THAT is a super interesting mindset to explore, imo, though I did find her social ineptitude charming haha

Yukari... I think that she might grow on me more later. I can feel it in my bones. I suppose I'll find out with The Answer dlc! I know broadly what happens in it, but I haven't actually seem a playthrough of it, nor do I really know what happens to all the characters. I think my opinion of Yukari might have been tainted slightly by everyone having such strong opinions HAHA- I definitely like her, but I don't think she's clicked just yet. (I did really like her social link, though!) (also Yukamitsu I love Yukamitsu. The lesbians aren't doomed! Good for them)

Okay this is going to upset some people probably but Koromaru isn't really much of a character and I keep forgetting about him LMAO. uh. he's a good boy?

Fuuka... I really think that she's just underdeveloped. Her social link didn't really do her any favours in my eyes (I'm SO glad that atlus cut the "girl learns to cook" social link in p5 HAHA i really didn't like it with Yukiko either) Her social link obviously isn't just the cooking shenanigins, but it overshadows the bits of character growth that happen intermittently. I think that her SL really would have benefitted from being more about her love of electronics, if anything, since that isn't explored AT ALL and is more a plot device than a character trait. (Plus, the root of all her self-esteem issues go unadressed, which I think would have been a good character beat otherwise) (In saying this I think Fuuka/Natsuki is very cute. The lesbians stay winning in p3)

Makoto/Minato! Honestly, I was pretty neutral towards him from the majority of the fics I had read before playing p3r. I really like his characterisation in Throw Away Your Mask and The Twilight Wants Him Back, but those had been outliers in my mind. I started liking him more and more after playing p3r, and NOW, after having watched 1/4 of the p3 movies- oh boy. boy oh boy. I really like him now HAHA. Having his apathy actually effect his realtionships with SEES early on is super interesting and I love when it's done. (plus, I think Yukari hating him at first really strengthens their friendship later on)

Uh this post is already super long so for all the other plot-relavant characters and confidants I'm just gonna say "it's a secret" and melt into a bush or something

(tysm for the ask! You can tell I was waiting for an excuse to talk about this HAHA)

(btw y'all shoud read the fics I mentioned in this- they're excellent)

#persona 3 #persona 3 reload #persona 3 spoilers #asks #The lesbians really are winning in p3 #good for them... good for them!#HAHA anyways I'm DEFINITELY going to write these characters at some point #long post #loooong post #whoops

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tanith-rhea · 1 year

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So i have a miranda hilmarson x reader fic request. Basically some hurt/comfort where reader isnt used to being listened to/always hides their feelings and cries a lot at night, and miranda finds out and comforts them

Knight in Shining Armour

Hey anon, thank you for the request and sorry for the wait! In this one reader is a person going through some relationship problems, and it gets pretty bad to the point police are involved. Miranda is asked to be a lookout for a few nights at reader's place to make sure their ex won't attempt anything. So WARNINGS for domestic violence, some stockholm syndrome and mentions of people disregarding reader's abuse aside from all the angst that is already implied by that.

Word count: 1.5k

You thought it would get better. Your mom said it wasn't that bad, and if you made an effort, he'd start treating you well again. Kiss you more gently, soothe your bruises and even one day stop making them.

It did not. No matter how hard you tried, he would still come home angry, and anything in front of him was a reason to turn furious. Candlelit dinners were too fussy, watching football together was annoying because you knew nothing about it, going for walks was stupid, playing games, was frustrating, and talking was simply unbearable.

"I can't hear your whiny voice right now. If you utter a single word, I swear to god I'll crash your head in this table."

And then it was over. You woke up in a hospital bed, in one of those rooms with six other patients separated by baby-blue curtains, and a short woman in smart pants and jacket was looking at you.

"Hello, Miss y/l/n, I'm detective Griffin," she said matter of factly, looking at you in expectance.

"Detective? Why are you here?"

"You were beaten and almost killed by a man currently missing. One of your neighbours heard a commotion at your house last night and called the police, we found you unconscious in the kitchen and no signs of who assaulted you."

You thought detectives only dealt with murder cases, at least police ones; although you only knew what you saw on tv shows.

"Were you robbed?"

"No," you eyed her, wondering where he was. Would he come back home? Could you work this out and be ok again?

"Did you know the person who put you here?" her face was guarded but you could tell she knew what this was about. She was trying to help you. She'll eventually figure out I don't need help. I need him.

Later you were able to leave the hospital. You had a concussion but the doctor said you should be fine if you were careful and rested more when you got home. You didn't go home straight away, though, you were brought in for questioning at the station. Couldn't they interview you at your house? Where you'd be comfortable? You just wanted to bolt from there and look for him so maybe you could put this all behind you.

They asked a lot of things, some questions were the same, only phrased differently and they figured the one that did this to you was your partner. It was your fault, really. He'd asked for you to buy beer before going to work and you forgot. When he came back there was no beer so he left cross and returned drunk.

They sent you home with a tall blond woman. She tried to make conversation but you were too fed up and exhausted to entertain her. She seemed sweet, and you couldn't help but think she didn't fit as a police officer. Sure, she was tall and strong and intimidating, but as soon as you passed first impressions, she was the embodiment of a golden retriever.

You arrived, and she explained again that she'd be staying for two days surveying the street for any signs he might come back to harm you. You didn't want it, you wanted him back, but they didn't care about that.

The first night was torment. You called your mother to tell her what happened and she didn't show much concern. She said, "You made your bed, now lay in it" dismissing your worry he might not come back.

In the beginning, when you were scared and wanted to end things with him, your mother said it was your fault if he was not satisfied, you had to be a better girl for him. Now you were seven years in, and you were convinced that was the only type of love you would ever get, the hard-fought-for one, the kind you had to earn, not just receive.

You were desperate, crying till your eyes ran dry and your throat felt sore. Your bedsheets were a mess of twisted corners you held onto through the night, white knuckles only stained by a few red marks from when he held you down on the terrace floor when you had the idea of a picnic on the apartment's roof.

She was still outside the other day. Inside the car on the other side of the street. You slept for two hours and looked like less, your hair a mess and yesterday's clothes. Did she eat? She didn't leave the car for almost fourteen hours now, no way she had proper food there.

You didn't eat yourself but microwaved some of the leftover lasagna in the fridge and walked to the car.

"Everything ok?" she downed the window and looked at you from head to toe and back up, "You need anything? I can't enter and help you but I can call someone."

"I just brought you food," you shoved the container in her face and turned to leave.

"I meant it..." she called, "I won't go inside because I'm not supposed to let him get even near you, I have to keep looking. But I know a friend that could help maybe help you, he does energy work."

It was sweet how much she seemed to care, but you didn't need help. You just turned again and went inside.

This was the last night she would be looking. You were still desolate, but something made you act, maybe desperation to know or to have something to occupy your mind.

You searched through the drawers and your shared closet, some clothes were missing, his favourites. The money hidden underneath the sink in the biscuit jar was gone. You checked your bank account on your phone and sure enough, it was empty. He was not coming back.

You wailed. You lowered yourself to the kitchen floor, near the blood stain on the table, and hugged yourself while you screamed more than cried. It was all over. You would never have love again, not any. With your eyes closed, and ears ringing from the force of the muscles twisted in your forehead and neck, you didn't hear the door being kicked open, or the hurried steps towards the kitchen. You only felt arms around you and a hand on your face, trying to make you look up.

"Shhh... it's all right. Shit you scared me," it was Miranda, her nametag was only a few centimetres away from your face, "Thank God you're alright."

You clung to her, fingers twisting the blue fabric on her shoulders desperately.

"I'm not alright," you whispered, almost unable to speak "He's not coming back"

She tensed for a few seconds, not breathing, before sitting by your side and pulling you to her. You sat between her legs and she hugged you to her chest.

"How do you know?" she asked softly after your crying subsided to sobs and whimpers.

You unlocked your phone and showed the bank account. She tightened her arms around you with a deep sigh. It almost seemed as if she was relieved, her shoulders dropping. Her chin resting on your hair.

"We will find him, and arrest him, and you'll get your money back."

"As if I care about money... I want him back," you scoffed, impressed at how bitter you managed to sound.

"What the hell are you talking about?" she seemed almost livid, did she care? "Look at what he did to you! Why would you want to be with someone like him?"

"Because he loves me," you said automatically. It was obvious he did, he just showed it in harsher ways.

"I'm sorry, but that is absurd."

She seemed quite confident. You didn't respond to it, deep down you knew love was supposed to be kinder, but lying was better than nothing at all, wasn't it?

"I mean, if he loved you he would never hurt you like this. He would take care of you, comfort you, caress you and not punch you or bang your head on a table."

It hurt so much. She was telling the truth, but somehow the thought of it hurt so much more than any spanking. You started crying again, hiding your face in her uncomfortable vest.

"Oh, shit, I'm so sorry," she whispered "Here, let me take care of you," she hugged you tighter, enveloping you completely in her arms, and played with your hair until you were almost dozing off.

After, she encouraged you to take a shower and heated the rest of the lasagna for you to eat. She watched you the entire time, talking about silly or unimportant things to distract you. You saw right through her.

When it was dark outside, you watched some television together, and she told you about this guy, the brother of her colleague, who she thought could help you heal. She offered to keep in contact and you agreed to it. When you started to softly snore on her shoulder, she woke you up and led you to bed, telling you she would be just outside on the couch, and you finally had a peaceful sleep. No one kicking you or rolling around in the bed. Just you, and your knight in shining armour outside.

#miranda hilmarson #miranda hilmarson x reader #top of the lake #gender neutral reader #angst #hurt/comfort #answered request #kinda heavy angst #stockholm syndrome #sorry if this was too heavy or deviated too much from what you envisioned #loved the ask <3

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