#cartman fluff
Text
one bed!
-- sfw --
characters: kyle broflovski, kenny mccormick, stan marsh, eric cartman
a/n: i did this for a different fandom like a year ago. i love the one bed trope i just had to write a new one for south park....,,, lmk if you want part 2
notes: fluff yayyy; gn reader; characters have a fat crush on you live laugh mutual pining;
guys requests are very much open rigjt now pleasseeeekksflkdfnkjs
— ⛧ k. broflovski
sweetest guy. he doesn't want to take your bed, but you insist.
he also hangs his jacket on the door and keeps his hat neatly on your desk... which is kinda funny and cute that he tries so hard to be neat
freezes up and goes red when you slide into the bed next to him. poor boy is about to melt.
"dude why are you so sweaty are you okay"
"huh- what? yeah, yeah it's cool i'm fine it's..,,,,,,,"
wakes up with a puddle of drool and a wet cheek. he panics and wipes his face and looks over to see if you're awake. you pretend you aren't for kyle's sake. he's so cute.
his nose also does that stupid whistley thing it's so funny
a relatively still sleeper. he just kinda curls up and.. sleeps. sometimes he murmurs something in his sleep.
"cartman.. shut up..",
"what?", you murmur groggily.
"no"
"kyle??? are you awake??"
(no response)
genuinely cannot remember any of that when he wakes up.
— ⛧ k. mccormick
it's like 1am and you turn off the movie as the credits roll.
when you look over at kenny, he looks like a baby that had just woken up.
"dude, what time is it..", he murmurs.
"um.. late." you definitely did not mean to have him over for so long.
"do you wanna go home, or like.. stay with me?"
kenny perks up immediately when you offer to let him spend the night. huge, shit-eating grin spread across his face.
"dumbass", you laugh. but you kinda wanted him over, too.
he sits in your room and pokes at all of your plushies while he waits for you to go get a change of clothes for him. ("no way you're sleeping in that eyesore of a parka!")
almost faints when you change your shirt in front of him
youre the only person that can fluster him like that.
sleeps curled up like a little car
(I MEANT TO TYPE CAT BUT THATS REALLY FUCKING FUNNY)
makes funny noises
like when a dog is sleeping
you'll wake up with his face in your chest and he'll swear it was an accident. it was not
— ⛧ s. marsh
you were at your desk doing homework and stan was on your bed on his phone, both doing your own thing as music played from your speaker.
it's not until that last math problem that you realize it's late. really, really late. you look over at stan, and he's face-down dead asleep on your bed, phone still in one hand.
you don't want to wake him up and tell him to go home, so instead you take his hat off and leave it on your bedpost.
he's splayed across the bed right in the middle.
how?? are you supposed to move him???
after a moment of deliberation, you hold your breath and roll him over, praying he doesn't wake up.
he does obviously
"ow..???? y/n??"
"shit. sorry. it's late, just go back to sleep. you can walk home tomorrow morning."
"wha- okay"
he's too tired to object
plus he secretly loves being in your bed. it smells like you
snores and breathes kinda funny once in a while
no matter how still he looks when you get into the bed with him, somehow you wake up with his limbs sprawled out like a spider.
in the morning, his leg is on top of you and his hand is on your face.
— ⛧ e. cartman
actually such a bitch about staying over
he definitely tried to distract you so that he would HAVE to spending the night
he just loves spending time with you but he doesnt wanna ask :(
"but the couch will make my back stiff! i'll be soo sore in the morning!"
"just say you want to sleep in my room with me, cartman."
"whaat?? if you insist, i guess!"
makes himself absolutely at home. if you want to sleep in your own bed, you'll have to sleep on top of him or touching him.
he definitely does that on purpose
as much as it pains you to admit it, cartman is actually like really really comfortable.
even if he's squishing you to death
and he claims he has no idea he does that in his sleep
smells like a dove soap bar or like. baby shampoo and its actually really nice
snores like a monster truck engine
leaves his shit all over the floor but also offers to help clean up to impress you
(he cant clean for shit but at least he tried??)
#south park x reader#eric cartman x reader#cartman x reader#south park fluff#fluff#kenny x reader#stan x reader#stan marsh#stan marsh x reader#kyle broflovski#kyle broflovski x reader#kenny mccormick#kenny mccormick x reader#cartman fluff#kyle broflovski fluff#stan marsh fluff#kenny fluff#kenny mccormick fluff#south park
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
main 4 boys hcs: crushing on the new girl
note: more sleepover chapters to be out soon!! also i got carried away in kenny's part oops
STAN ☆
he thought he'd never be able to like a girl ever again, but that idea was short-lived when he saw you.
it was love at first sight.
he was planning on going up to you and introducing himself, but other guys were quicker.
i can see him being really jealous, especially if it's other football players or people he trusts. (maybe tolkien will come in and steal someone from stan again 💀)
at one point, he saw you getting uncomfortable with all the attention you were getting so stan saw an opportunity.
an opportunity to yell at the others while still looking like a good guy, that is.
"Alright, guys, that's enough!" Stan stomped his foot against the floor, silence quickly filling the teacher-less classroom. "Can't you see how uncomfortable she is?"
You couldn't stand to look at anyone while you were the centre of this unwanted attention.
The various types of guys hated the fact Stan was right and that you were visibly uncomfortable, but you were relieved at this sudden saviour.
While everyone backed off, Stan remained in front of you so you looked up at him while he approached with a subtle smile, which you thankfully returned.
"Hey, if anyone's ever bothering you, just text me." He stated before handing you a little yellow note, his phone number quickly scribbled across it.
"Thank you, uh..."
"Stan."
"Thank you, Stan." He was proud to be the first guy to get a genuine smile out of you.
"You're very welcome...?"
"Y/N."
"Well, see you around, Y/N." He might have fell in love first, but you fell harder.
"Bastard wanted her all to himself!"
KYLE ☆
when kyle first saw you, he thought you were cute of course but didn't think anything else until he sat next to you for a class you shared.
he is more of a hopeless romantic, so of course he would act on a classic trope when he got the chance to.
you were struggling with the question the teacher had set, so you turned to the person on your left but they made a snide comment and didn't bother helping you. thankfully, kyle came to your assistance.
"Ignore that asswipe, Y/N." You heard someone to the right-hand side of you say. "I'll help you."
You turned around to see it was Kyle, the smartest kid in the class!
"Thank you so much, Kyle!" It was good to know not everyone was mean here. At the mention of his name with your seemingly angelic voice, he felt his heart flutter.
"No worries," he smiled nervously. "What do you need help with?"
KENNY ☆
just like the others, when he first saw you he thought you were so pretty.
he just needed to have you.
but he's not as confident as his friends, so he shied away and decided to admire you from afar.
however, that changed when you were the one to go up to him: you introduced yourself and explained you wanted to make a lot of new friends.
kenny introduced himself, as well, he never thought he'd get the chance to talk to you like this. however, he made the mistake of making his liking towards you known to his friends... more specifically, cartman.
"You wouldn't like Kenny, new girl." Eric chuckled maliciously from behind the blonde-haired boy that was simply trying to admire the girl of his dreams in peace.
"Why not?" You huffed. "I've already taken a liking to him."
Kenny tried to act as if that isn't one of the sweetest things somebody has said about him.
"Well, he's poor!" Eric shouted as if it was obvious. "He'd be an even worse boyfriend, and he clearly already has a little crush on you."
The poor boy was mortified. Worried that he had just lost his chance with you when you stood in silence.
"What?" You were taken aback. Did Kenny really call this asshole a friend?
"I'm doing you a favour, whatever your name is." Eric continued. "Don't go for Kyle either, he's a stupid-"
"That's enough, fatass!" Kyle yelled.
Kenny started to panic. He didn't know what to do, and he's never felt more embarrassed. And it was all Eric's fault!
"C'mon, Kenny. Let's go somewhere else to talk." You said, much to his surprise, but he gladly accepted.
ERIC ☆
if this isn't enemies to lovers potential, idk what is.
he'd be more discreet about his crush because god forbid the others realise he actually likes someone!
he would just simply bully you, but you were different. you were just trying to be nice, so when he realised he actually felt a little bad he tried toning it down little by little before toning it down.
he's definitely the possessive type, so when he realised you had already became friends with the others... he wanted to be your friend too.
however, he just wanted you all to himself.
"Fuck you guys, I saw her first!"
"Saw her first? She's not an object, Cartman. She can choose who she wants to hang out with, and I'm surprised she even wants to associate with you!"
The boys were bickering back and forth as usual, arguing over you as if you weren't sat there with them.
"But, Y/N is mine!" Eric yelled, taking all of you by surprise.
"Yours?" You questioned.
"Ah, shit."
#south park#south park x reader#south park fanfiction#stan marsh#stan marsh x reader#kyle broflovski#kyle broflovski x reader#kenny mccormick#kenny mccormick x reader#eric cartman#eric cartman x reader#south park boys#south park x y/n#fluff#headcanons
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
— kyle, eric, & kenny w a dirty minded reader (platonic) !
hcs : g/n reader
a/n : this idea was haunting my mind and I js had to write it 😓😓 also I originally wanted to add stan but I had no ideas for him sorry 😭😭
warning(s) : nsfw mentions
— kyle broflovski
DUDE IS TIRED OF YOUR SHIT.
you and cartman are the reason why hes this close to going insane
you love bothering him with silly jokes that make his face as red as his hair, bursting out laughing as he pinches the bridge of his nose
especially in public. you two would be sitting beside each other in the assembly hall when you randomly get a dirty thought. grinning evilly as you whisper said thought in the gingers ear.
his head will immediately cock towards you and he'll give you the most DISGUTING and STANKIEST expression known to man.
you only laugh it off.
you also like to bother him with 'does the carpet match the drapes?' questions, to which he always refuses to answer.
physically gags whenever he sees you staring at some person all drooly.
you draw dicks on his homework when he isn't looking. in pen.
— eric cartman
one of the few people that actually tolerates your shitty humor.
he snorts at most of your jokes, and he considers you as his 3rd best friend after butters and kenny.
you two like tag teaming against stan and kyle whenever they get TOO close, much to the disappointment of the duo.
"I love you, kyle"
"I love you too, dude"
"jesus, why don't you two go and makeout at this point."
"yeah, grind on each others dick while you're at it!"
usually ignores you when your gawking at some hot person, but occasionally tells you to shut up.
he does get annoyed sometimes when you're restless and joke around too much for one day.
HATESS whenever you make jokes about his mom. will literally throw hands and tell on you.
calls you a horny virgin
used to rip on you 24/7 till you 'jokingly' said you were into it.
— kenny mccormick
the most iconic duo ever.
the only person that understands you and your dirty mind 😞
you guys CONSTANTLY ogle at random hot people, whispering and giggling to each other as said person just stares at you two in concern.
you both also exchange playboy magazines all the time. and you two are hella sketchy when doing so.
"got the goods, ken?"
"yeah, got it right here"
the group thought you were doing drugs at first tbh.
you and kenny are always fueling dumb ideas and questions into each others minds
you two are also each others wingman/wingwoman 🤝
you guys made a pact a few years ago that if at 35 you were both still single, you'd get married
jokes about who has the bigger dick constantly (even funnier if you're afab)
kenny is probably the kind of guy to moan randomly during class, you both think its the funniest shit ever.
you guys like to buy flavored lube and rate it. probably also fed it to cartman once telling him it was some candy.
#— elys works#south park x reader#south park fluff#south park hcs#main 4#kyle broflovski#kyle broflovski x reader#eric cartman#eric cartman x reader#kenny mccormick#kenny mccormick x reader#kyle broflovski hcs#eric cartman hcs#kenny mccormick hcs#style#rip stan#stan marsh#platonic south park x reader
820 notes
·
View notes
Text
┆．pairings main 4 x gn reader
┆．synopsis matching w him!!!!
┆．cw cussing
✉️ … i’m back w another one!!!! my reqs are still open :3 FOR MY CURRENT REQS, I’M DOING YOURS WHEN I WAKE UP 😁😁 they're aged up here as usual
stan ⊹ matching earrings
OKAY HE’S A BIT CONFUSED. he’s heard of people matching things, but when you suggest it he’s all ???
he definitely lets you pick what you want to match. since you did ask him first, he may as well let you decide what you want. & when you finally picked something out, he was kinda stunned. like ohmygod EARRINGS??? 😦😦😦 he thought you meant something more simple, like keychains but it’s not like he’s complaining
HE’S SO HAPPY WHEN YOU GUYS GO OUT AND WEAR THEM. he never takes them off, like ever.
“stan, do you like this one?” his gaze turns to the earring you’re holding. he briefly looks at it before nodding and quickly muttering a yes. “okay! i’ll buy it.” he panics as you take out your wallet, not wanting you to spend your money. “how about i pay for it? i may as well buy it since you were the one who thought of it.” you let out a snicker as you smile at him. “you always pay for our dates. let me repay you by this.” he sighs, murmuring something about you not needing to repay anything. he decides to let it go, knowing he couldn’t convince you.
kyle ⊹ matching keychains
LISTEN, HE PROBABLY THOUGHT OF GETTING MATCHING KEYCHAINS FOR THE BOTH OF YOU WHEN HE WAS RANDOMLY SCROLLING THROUGH HIS PHONE.
at first he wonders what you’d want, however he’d probably just go for the most common choice. why? because he does NOT care wtf you guys get as long as it’s something you’d like ‼️‼️
today, you were gonna meet up with your boyfriend, kyle. since it was the weekends, you guys planned to do a study date at his house. he told you he’d help you with your homework, but just now, he texted you to tell you that he had a surprise. saying you were excited was an understatement. currently, you’re in your boyfriends room. he welcomes you in, as he tells you to take a sit on his bed. he then takes out two keychains that had the design of both your favorite animals. he hands his to you. “i saw something yesterday, & bought these for the both of us. you have mine, i have yours. now we have something to remind us of each other.” you can’t help but grin at the boy, and give him a kiss in the cheek.
cartman ⊹ matching pjs
he just saw some cute pjs and instantly bought it thinking abt u 🙏
IT EITHER HAS THE DUMBEST OR PLAINEST DESIGN.
HE DEF VISITS YOU RANDOMLY JUST TO SEE YOU WEARING IT. he wants to make sure you like it 😭😭
“CARTMAN, WHAT THE FUCK.” you’re dumbfounded, seeing your boyfriend outside your window. it was 1 in the morning, and he was out here with just his pajamas. you went out with a jacket in your hand, worried. you’re now outside only to be met with his satisfied expression. you put the jacket on him & smack him, to which he groans at. “what was that for??? i just wanted to see you.” you sigh, knowing he meant well but couldn’t help but worry. “you know, i’m fine with you visiting me but at least try taking of yourself. you could’ve gotten a cold…” he whines, but understands your concern. “fine, not because i’m listening to you but because i don’t wanna get sick and miss my classes with you again.” he looks away. you laugh at his antics only to receive a glare. “my bad. but why’re you here at one? is it something important?” he smirks. “of course, i had to see if you were wearing my gift.” you stare for a moment before you cackle. you whisper a low of course before inviting him in to sleep with you for the night, not wanting him to be troubled by the algid air.
kenny ⊹ matching lego sets
GUYS. LISTEN. i saw these rlly cute lego sets on pinterest & was like “omg this is perfect” BECAUSE THEY’RE SO CUTE
anyways, you probably buy them because you were originally looking for a gift to give karen but the moment you saw the set you just knew you HAD to buy it.
HE WAS SURPRISED, LIKE YOU GOT ME A GIFT TOO??? he was straight up crying happy tears like u’re so thoughtful 🙁🙁
“well, i’m just glad your sister liked the gift. we should take her out next time.” you say to the blonde boy. he nods, seemingly lost in thought. “ken? you good?” you ask. the male jerks his head to look at you and apologizes. “you know you can tell me anything.” you reassure him as he laughs. confused, you open your mouth to speak but he cuts you off. “no, i’m just curious why there’s still something in the bag.” he points to the said object. “oh! wait a moment.” you get up & take the bag as you walk back to kenny to hand him the bag. he’s confused for a moment before he checks the inside and sees two lego boxes. “what do you think?” you watch him as you wait for a reaction, and you see his beaming smile. he turns to you & hugs you as he thanks you over and over for getting him a gift.
#☒ ⠀fluff#south park x reader#stan marsh x reader#kyle broflovski x reader#eric cartman x reader#kenny mccormick x reader#x reader#gn reader
567 notes
·
View notes
Note
hi there, love your writing! would you be willing to write main 4 + clyde, where they’re hanging out with their crush late at night, and their crush falls asleep on them?
Team Stan + Clyde hanging out with their s/o at night🌃😴🌌❤️
Warnings: None
Gender: Neutral
💙 Stan Marsh ❄️
Learning to go on crazy adventures and some mischievous things with the boys, you texted Stan if you both could hang out at midnight.
Stan agreed, quality time is one of his love languages and he wouldn't want to miss an opportunity to spend time with you <3❤️
You both made sure your parents (or siblings) were asleep before you guys started your midnight crazy fun.
You guys played video games down in the basement, tp a teacher's house because she pissed you both off, pillow fights, and etc.
You were having so much fun that you ended up falling asleep while rambling about everything you both did together.
Stan blushed a bit and he didn't know what to do so he just stayed still while you sleep on him before drifting to sleep himself after a while. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
💚 Kyle Broflovski ♻️
He was a bit annoyed and confused on why you called him at midnight. The boy just want his beauty rest >:C
Being stubborn, you climbed up the tree that was near his window and jumped onto his bed because, in south park. The windows are always opened 😋
Kyle made a pouty face while you refuse to get out of his room. But you know that he's secretly happy that you're here, why wouldn't he enjoy your presence?
So you guys ended up doing the fun ideas you had planned for this night.
Even though Kyle was a bit tired, he tried his best to keep his eyes opened as you rambling about something random you thought while you both watch something on your (device).
After another couple of mins, you both fell asleep together at the same time <3.
Ike eavesdropped on you both the whole time 💚💚💚💚
❤️ Eric Cartman 🍓
Being the little devious child he is, he is obviously the one who purposed the idea of doing something mischievous with you after everyone else is asleep.
You basically often follow out with Cartman's plans unless it's something dangerous then no.
You do worry for Cartman's safety even though the stuff he does pisses other people off, you can understand why they would be upset with him. After all, you're friends with/dating a sociopathic racist kid :>
Once your little hangout is over, you both managed to get back to bed without being spotted. I wonder what Cartman did to make you both have such good luck with that :O
You soon realized that this was going to be a daily night routine-❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
🧡 Kenny Mccormick 🎃
You both are always on the same page, you didn't have to tell each other what you were going to do this night.
Oh my god, you both ended up doing 49 activities together in one single whole night! Kenny definitely didn't make any dirty jokes in between.
How did you both managed to not caught? You both placed corks into your parents' ears so they couldn't hear a single thing. (You also did the same to your siblings if you have any).
When you first fell asleep on Kenny after a lot of fun together, he will chill and calm about it. He let you lean on him while he wrapped his parka around you like a blanket so you would get cold.
He secretly likes it whenever you sleep on him, it gives him an excuse to snuggle up close to you🧡🧡🧡🧡
❤️ Clyde Donovan 🔫
He almost pissed himself when you suddenly appeared onto his bed and scared him. (You were hiding in his room while in the dark.
You always liked to tease Clyde playfully and hang out with him, and since your parents are asleep you saw this as a perfect opportunity to bring him over to your house to talk about stupid stuff, play games, and etc together.
You even taught Clyde how to crave a jack-o'-lantern since he wasn't sure how to do it.🎃🎃
Clyde was a complete blushing mess when you fell asleep on him. Like Stan, he wasn't sure what to do besides staying still and letting you sleep on him.
He probably even went through 5 stages of grief at the moment.❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Already October? Damn time flies way too fast.🎃🎃🎃
#south park x reader#south park#stan marsh x reader#kyle broflovski x reader#eric cartman x reader#kenny mccormick x reader#clyde donovan x reader#stan marsh#kyle broflovski#eric cartman#kenny mccormick#clyde donovan#crush#southpark blog#southpark sp#sp x reader#x reader#southpark x y/n#fluff#cartman being cartman#southpark scenarios#southpark headcanons
176 notes
·
View notes
Text
White Teeth Teens
Chapter One: Undone
Kylie Broflovski x fem Reader
If you want to destroy my sweater, pull this thread as I walk away.
Premise: Despite having almost inseparable families, you and Kyle couldn't hate each other anymore than you already. The second you saw him you had your claws out and we would be ready to hold a knife to your throat, like wolves you devoured each other until a bump in the road sent you tumbling into a new dynamic. Maybe you two can find new ways to fall apart.
CW: Vulgar language+humour / mentions of smoking and drugs / Cartman gets called fat
MASTERLIST
Kyle was the only one who knew how truly competitive you were. He couldn't figure out how no one else saw especially during your sports matches, you always had to be forward, had to score the last point, had to win, and you craved it as compulsively as the nicotine you sucked from your fingernails when you ran out of cigarettes to burn through.
Your parents had always been close to Kyle's since high school allegedly; being constantly forced to jump back and forth between each other's houses for family dinners and game nights didn't aid in the fact that you wanted to tear each other's throats out with razor-sharp teeth. They say that distance makes the heart grow fonder and this absurd proximity made the both of you sick with a frothing rage.
You couldn't pinpoint exactly where this hatred started, it was likely back in middle school where it was taboo for boys and girls to hang out, and those kids acted like it breached scripture if you did. Truthfully you didn't remember being friends but there was photo evidence of you playing as children so you couldn't deny it.
He has seen every inch of your life inside and out from the seventeen years that you were cursed to spend side by side. He knew that you had some fun habits such as swallowing back a little bit of synthetic sunshine in the form of little tabs of acid and how you would take a joint for a stroll in the dead of night.
For every secret he held over your head, you dangled one of his right before his green eyes. This is the only thing that kept all hell from breaking loose.
"Good practice girls, I'll see all of you on Thursday," Coach Jackson said, with no indication of pride for the team's gruelling efforts on her tanned face, not even a dribble of sweat on her brow since all she did was stand in place and yell at you.
As soccer practice finally came to a close the sun was beginning to dip below the horizon, casting an orange glow on the team where you all lay on the ground of the pitch next to your bags, trying to catch your breath. Nichole chugged down her water so fast that it was dribbling down her chin and droplets had soaked into her tee shirt.
You were the most composed of all of them despite being a little short of breath, you wiped the sweat from the bow of your lip and began to peel off your sweaty shin guards.
"How are you so okay?" Annie asked, red-faced, strands of her curly blonde hair sticking out and flying loose in the wind while she sipped on a Gatorade.
You shrug "I run a lot," It was the truth, you liked the feeling of burning in your lungs along with the fact that you built up good stamina and in turn were able to withstand your coach's harsh practices.
"I should start running with you," Annie says, panting heavily before she throws herself flat against the cool grass.
"I don't know if you could keep up," There's something of a smile playing on Red's face while she shoves her gross gear into her duffle bag. "I see her run by my house every night." She had a bit of trouble keeping her shag cut tied back in a ponytail, any attempt to get the layers to stay in a braid or bun was futile so she settled on a black headband to at least keep it out of her face.
Off in the distance, Bebe honked her car horn, she had shown up early to pick up her friends and due to this in the last fifteen minutes of practice you could hear classic Justin Bieber blasting faintly from her car. "Annie, we gotta go," Nichole says.
"Ugh," Annie draws out in her dazey state. Nichole paid her friend the service of grabbing her bag and trying to drag her up to her feet.
"C'mon," Nichole mutters, hooking an arm around Annie and yanking her up to her feet. Annie finds her own footing and detaches herself from Nichole, she's still in her shin guards and cleats. "Are you coming to Wendy's later?" Nichole looks at you, sweat shimmering on her ebony skin beneath the setting sun.
You think about it for a moment before ultimately shaking your head "I gotta pick my brother up."
"What about after?"
"Too crammed with homework," You were lying through your teeth, your social battery was just running a little low and things with your dad weren't going too great. You made the decision that you needed to lock yourself in the bathroom run the shower over your skin and scrub until the water washed away the stress of your week or get high with Kenny until you felt your face go numb. Just something along those lines.
"Too bad," Annie frowns, eyes half-lidded and breathes shallow.
"See you tomorrow then," Red waves at you before heading to her car, bright hair sticking out in the green landscape.
“Love ya, Red,” You look around at the rest of your team, all cooling down and conversing "Anyone need a ride home?" Everyone looks around and shakes their heads "Isla?"
"No," She says "I'm going with Kelly."
"Alright," You sling your bag over your shoulder, clutching your carabiner in hand, it has a little keychain of a Volkswagon bus on it, a cowboy hat knick-knack and of course your actual keys. "Bye guys, see you on Thursday."
Your words are met with collective 'goodbyes' from the girls. You walk off the pitch, and despite your legs feeling like jello you manage to step off of the grassy field and land on concrete, lazy steps leading you back to your car.
Tossing your bag into the backseat, you tap around on your phone to connect to the speaker, turn it up as loud as it goes and roll down your windows. You liked your music so loud that you couldn't even hear your own thoughts, just your playlist on shuffle as you absentmindedly sang along to it. You grabbed some body spray and doused the car in it to cover up the subtle linger of cigarettes from your late-night drive the previous evening.
The air was warm and carried the scent of fresh-cut grass as you drove through the familiar suburban streets. With the windows down, you felt the gentle breeze tousle your hair, a welcome relief from the day's heat. You hummed along to the music, mind drifting as you navigated the familiar route.
As you turned the corner onto their neighbour's street, the sun painted the sky in a breathtaking array of colours - hues of orange, pink, and purple blending seamlessly against the evening sky. You couldn't help but steal a moment to admire the beauty of the sunset, the vibrant colours reflecting in your eyes. It was nearing six pm when you finally pulled into the Broflovski driveway.
You step out, looking a little worse for wear. You had taken off your shin guards and cleats but left the knee-high socks on as well as a tee shirt with the South Park cows logo on it and a pair of athletic shorts. It was one of the warmer days since it was nearing summer though South Park had a way with erratic weather that couldn't make up its mind, you were sure there would be a storm tomorrow to cancel out the nice weather.
Knocking on the door, you put on a smile, expecting to see Gerald or Sheila though you were unpleasantly met with their oldest son, Kyle. Your smile drops immediately and it's easy to see that he isn't too excited to see you either. "Oh." You push passed Kyle and into his house "Weston," You call out "Time to go!"
Kyle wrinkles his nose "You smell like hand sanitizer," He says, speaking on all of the body mist you had sprayed in the car.
"And you look like orphan Annie," You turn quickly to face him before calling up the stairs "Weston, let's go!"
"Did you leave your windows down at the car wash?" His eyes rake up your body at your sweaty form, little strands of hair sticking to your neck.
"Go on Accutane, matchstick," You retort. This nickname came about when Kyle began to outgrow his friends, with a lanky body and a mop of curly red hair, the nickname struck you in a moment of genius. As of now, he was wearing his hat, he hardly ever took it off, especially out in public. You'd only seen it come off his head when he was swimming or when his mom forced it off.
Something about the Broflovski house was always comforting even if you hated one-fourth of the family, you loved the other three. The scent of whatever Sheila was cooking always lingered in the air, right now the smell was sweet and faint. You assumed she hadn't been home but caught a glimpse of a cookie rack set out on the kitchen counter.
His eyebrows furrow "My acne isn't even that bad," He was right, you just knew that it got under his skin "Junkie," He says, a little less creative than your nickname for him, born from the time you did acid and woke up in his backyard, luckily before his parents noticed you but not after Kyle took pictures of you passed out on the grassy lawn as well as a few rumours that had been spread about you.
"Sure, ginger, sorry you have a hard knock life," You had run out of insults to call him after seventeen years. In middle school, you ripped on him constantly for how scrawny he was along with voice cracks and his acne, though in recent years, he had passed puberty, had a deeper voice, sorted out his pimple issue, and taken to running, basketball, lacrosse, and going to the gym to tone up. You could still rag on him for it but it has less impact when it wasn't true and god knows you wouldn't go mocking his religion, you may have hated him but you had morals. All you had left to make fun of was his hair colour.
It was similar to the way he couldn't make fun of you for being ugly, unpopular, or stupid like he used to since puberty hit you like a bus and you were almost unrecognizable from the brace-faced awkward kid you used to be. You were also a little too confident and erratic for his liking.
You were going to make your way upstairs to Ike's room where you assumed the two boys had been until you heard the familiar sound of upbeat electric rhythms and horribly overacted lines of Fury Fighters, a classic 1v1 fighting game. You move away from Kyle and turn into the living room where you see your little brother and Ike on the couch, hyper-focused on the game ahead of them. "Did you go deaf suddenly or were you just ignoring me?"
"I was ignoring you," Weston says, bluntly. His hair is an untamed mess and the collar of his wrinkled tee is stretched out. He doesn't even look back at you but Kyle cracks a smile at his words.
"C'mon shrimp, we gotta go," You say, crossing your arms.
He lets out a groan "Can I stay like thirty more minutes?"
You shake your head "Nah, Kyle's cologne is giving me a headache."
Ike snorts a laugh and glances back at his brother, his smile falls when he looks at you; he's putting on his tough guy persona. He clears his throat and deepens his voice in the slightest "What's up?" It was clear that the little brother had a crush on you though no one brought it up, you could tell it bothered Weston.
"Hey, Ike," You give him a tight-lipped smile, watching as he turns back to the TV, fingers clicking over the controller aggressively. "You can finish this round and we're out."
"Yes!" Weston says "Thanks, love you," He says with haste, thinking that it'll butter you up.
You plop yourself on the carpeted floor in front of the couch to watch the match play out. Ike was playing as Tempest, a mage who was wise and old, a long white beard yet he somehow had an absolutely shredded pixel body. Weston was playing Sable, a pink-haired woman in a short nurse's uniform who used surgical tools as weapons, she was your go-to back when you still played Fury Fighters with your friends. You would refuse to play as a man because it breached your pre-teen code of feminism. Watching them play made you feel nostalgic.
Kyle leans his elbows on the back of the couch, hands clasped together to watch the game, the same as you. "Kick his ass, Weston," Kyle says, rooting for your brother, purely to annoy his.
"Hey!" Ike exclaims though he doesn't move his unwavering gaze from the game "Whose side are you on?"
"Smoke him, Ike!" You say, a little louder than intended to balance out the cheering section.
Sheila always kept the household neat which was a miracle with Ike and Weston always running around, recently she had taken to a love of houseplants and had at least one in every corner of the home. There were framed pictures strung up on every single wall without fail, lots of the family, Sheila's wedding day, and a collection of you and Kyle actually getting along when you were kids. There's one of the two of you playing under a sprinkler in rain boots, another of you standing and smiling brightly by a snowman you made, and a picture of Kyle covering all of your little scrapes in Spider-Man band-aids. In every photo of you after the age of seven, you were with the rest of your families on opposite ends, as far away from each other as you could get.
You look back to the TV where Ike's character, Tempest summons the dead with his staff, grey decaying hands rise from the 2D ground and drag Sable down. "Fuck!" Weston yells, panic quickly spreading across his face, his eyes shoot back and forth frantically from the controller to the TV.
Sable jumps back up and readies herself into a fighting stance, Tempest moves his staff, a green diamond on the end, horizontally and jabs Sable in the stomach over and over until she rolls back to the ground. Ike has a huge grin on his face, shaggy black hair framing his pale features, he desperately needed a haircut but for now, he was relishing in watching Sable's health bar move down.
"By the elements, I shall prevail!" Calls out Tempest, his voice actor had really put his all into making him sound deep and gruff. Ike randomly spams the buttons, sending out an erratic combo. The characters were fighting in the center of a dark alley, blue and red lights flashing every few minutes.
Sable pulls a long scalpel out of her thigh-high socks and charges towards Tempest, slashing him. When Tempest's health bar falls, Sable speaks out a voice line "Every wound has a remedy," Her sultry voice makes you cringe just the slightest, you hadn't remembered her to sound so sensual.
Tempest rises back up, jumps toward Sable and greets the character with a heavy uppercut, sending her flying through the air. You find your fingers digging into the carpet, you had hoped that Sable would win just from the fact that you used to play as her. You almost wanted to grab the remote from your brother's hand and show him how to play as her, you had memorized all of her combos and moves, and they became muscle memory to you. "You're demise is written in the stars!" The buff wizard raises his hands to the sky, gearing up to cast one final blow.
In the midst of this, Sable jumps up, pulls a bone saw out from behind her back and slices Tempest's head clean off before he can finish casting his spell. Ike drops his controller, moving his hand to grab his hair, eyes wide and mouth agape in shock while he watches his character's health bar plummet to zero. The wizard's head rolls around on the pixel ground before Sable picks it up and kisses it "Nurse's orders: Stay down," She says before drop-kicking the head out of frame. A title card covers up the scene that reads 'It's a wrap!’
"Fuck yeah!" Weston says, giving Kyle a firm high five. He looked happier than you had seen him all week, middle school was kicking his ass and you had to pull some time aside almost every night to help him with algebra. You would've scolded him for playing video games instead of studying for his social studies test if you hadn't been doing the same at his age.
"How the hell did you do that?" Ike's head whips to look at his friend who just shrugs.
You push yourself off the floor, giving your brother's hair a little tussle "Let's go, shrimp."
With a groan Weston up to slip his shoes on at the rack, "See you tomorrow, Ike," He grabs his bag where it sits by the coat stand. Kyle hurdles himself over the couch, taking Weston's place on the sofa and picking up the free controller to play "Bye Kyle!" He says, lacing up his sneakers.
Kyle looks over the couch and at him with a smile "See you later buddy."
The second you think Weston is looking away you stick up the middle finger to the red-headed boy across from you but it surely didn't go unnoticed "Why are you flipping Kyle off?" Weston asks, furrowing his eyebrows as he looks up at you.
You drop your hand "I'm not, I was waving at him." You lie, trying to form a cover-up. You place a hand between his shoulder blades to guide him out the door.
"You're sweaty," He comments.
"Thanks, I had no idea," You open the door and close it behind you before Kyle can say anything to your brother's remark. It's already colder than when you entered the house and you race to get to the car before you get a chill.
Weston hops into the passenger seat, scrunching up his nose at the music you're playing "Can you put on Lil Shovel?" He asks. It was one of the many rappers he had attempted to imitate. He thought they were cool for decking themselves out in designer brands and sticking dollar bills into women's thongs in music videos.
"I'm not playing that shit," You start the car and turn out of the driveway.
"Why?"
"Because it makes me want to hammer nails into my ears," You answer, eyes focused in the road while you glide through the suburban street. "Listen to Eminem or something."
"Dad doesn't like Eminem."
You wrinkle your nose "Why?"
"Because he said that thing about the gerbil."
Recognition hits you and you nod "Yeah, that checks out," Your dad was a pretty modest guy, he didn't care about anything overly vulgar. He basically mandated your life, he was the reason you were in so many extracurriculars and were the last person in your grade to get a phone, something Kyle would've teased you for if your parents weren't so similar.
"Can you drive me and Ike to the quarry on Friday?" Weston has one hand sticking out of the window moving it up and down like it was a plane, it was something you used to do before you were the one driving, a little mannerism he picked up off you.
"I have track practice and then I gotta help Heidi and Wendy with their fundraiser, sorry, shrimp," You take note of every house you pass, swearing you could put a name to every single one. You felt the fatigue hit you all at once, you knew that night your bed would become a casket and you would have to be pried from it like a floorboard. "Ask Kyle."
"We did, he has basketball practice."
"Bummer," You say. It had slipped your mind completely that he was on the team and you hated it and how your friends gushed about Kyle before catching themselves and sending you apologetic glances. "Guess you gotta bike then."
You remember when you were your brother's age, twelve years old and you came home every night at sunset with a new scrape to show for the adventure you set out on. You gave bruises out like gifts and collected them like stickers, some sort of pride when parents would silently judge you for having purple busted-up knees.
"Mhm," He nods "Hey, can we go to Burger King?"
"No," You say almost immediately "Mom's making dinner right now."
Weston scrunched up his nose "Yeah but she had the crock pot out on the counter when I left for school today," Nothing good came from your mother's crock pot. "Can we please get Burger King?"
"First of all, Mom will kill me if I load you up with more fast food, second of all, she's gonna make you eat her dinner anyways, so just be nice and tell her it's good."
"Ugh," He grumbles watching wistfully into the distance, his thoughts stuck on the combo he was craving. "I should've stayed at Ike's for dinner."
"Yeah, me too," News of the dreaded crock pot had only worsened your day. Sheila on the other hand was an incredible cook, as much as you loved your mom and the effort she put into her meals, nothing would compare to Sheila's brisket. The thought of it almost made your stomach grumble. If you lived with Broflovski's you would've weighed three hundred pounds more.
Your mind ricochets back and forth between going home or heading to Wendy's with the rest of your friends though the thought of being alone with tobacco burning your throat soothed you.
The drive from the Broflovski's to yours wasn't too long, truthfully, your brother was perfectly capable of walking. The sky transformed into a canvas of deepening shades, the last traces of sunlight giving way to the embrace of twilight. You stole glances at your brother, his animated chatter filling the car with warmth.
You park the car in the driveway behind your dad's car, he would surely yell at you to move it in the morning but that was a problem for future you and a decision you would regret making. You pull up on the street right in front of your house. Weston was quick to hop out of the car, he rushed across the lawn and waited by the front door for you to turn off the car, but you didn't, you just watched and waited for him to go inside.
"Are you coming?" Weston asked.
You stick your head out of the window "Tell Mom I'm stopping by Red's, I'll be back before dinner," Weston rolls his eyes at this, he didn't care for Red, since you started being friends with her you had even less time to spend with your brother. Nights of staying up late with Weston and playing Stardew Valley turned into you hanging out with your friend and getting high.
"Tell Rebecca to eat a dick!" Weston cups his hands around his mouth.
"I won't do that but good suggestion," You call back before stepping on the peddle and moving back down the familiar streets. It was just past six and there hadn't been anyone outside, everyone was tucked away in their respective home, warm lights from windows spilling into the darkening sky.
You didn't go to Red's, you just kept driving until you ended up at a gas station on the outskirts of town. It had long passed the dinner you promised to be home for, instead of eating the crock pot monstrosity, you opt for something with a sweeter taste, a cigarette and a bag of teriyaki beef jerky. You sat on the curb watching cars roll past, their headlights framing you like you were on stage. You just craved the aloneness you so rarely got.
You shuffle through the cafeteria line, undecided on what you want to eat but settling on one of those sugar-free drinks that are worse for you than just grabbing a regular soda for a drink. "Keep it moving, Junkie," Cartman says from beside you. God how he irked you, it was in his nature to be unbearable.
"What? Not like it's going anywhere, I'm more worried for the people in line behind you who have to eat crumbs."
"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?" He asks adding a paper plate of ribs to his tray and then another.
"It means you're fat."
He shrugs "Doesn't bother me," Cartman had grown to be a little more self-aware, by a little I mean a very small smidgen.
"You're a fat-fat fatty, keep eating fatty," your voice was unwavering. You hadn't had too much of a problem with Cartman throughout school, sure he had been a dick but you never interacted enough for him to be on your radar until he started a rumour about you shooting up heroin in the janitors closet which led to him telling everyone you were a drug dealer. This cursed you with the nicknames of crash, popper, and of course, junkie. When it first happened you weren't even aware, you just sat confused about why everyone was adding your Snapchat and asking about buying stuff from you. Eventually, staff caught wind of this and it only got worse from there.
"Fuck you, crash," He sticks up a middle finger at you "You're a dyke."
You return the gesture "At least I get pussy, lard ass."
"I have tons of sex, you faggot."
"Your hand doesn't count," You say examining the food in the chafing dishes which looked surprisingly good for school food.
"I don't care if you're a girl, I will kick your ass," He starts to get in your face but you don't bother to acknowledge it, still looking through the food options.
"I bet if I pushed you over you would just keep rolling."
"Whatever bitch."
"Hurry up, butterball," Bebe cuts in front of Eric who has a look of pure seething rage on his face. She looks beautiful as always, blonde curly hair falling in perfect ringlets and framing her dainty face. She's wearing a red off-the-shoulders sweater and low-waisted jeans, it's such a simple outfit but Bebe manages to make it look unique and expensive.
"Fuck you, Bebe," he turns a middle finger to her, "Go shoot up with your little lezzy girlfriend." That was another rumour that he successfully sparked, that you and Bebe were secretly dating. The two of you found it funnier than the heroin thing and played into it on occasion.
"You're so fucking stupid," Bebe wrinkles her nose in distaste of the chubby kid in front of her "Don't crack the floor when you waddle over to your table, fat ass," She adds a yogurt parfait onto her tray and keeps moving down the line, you follow in suit.
The two of you hand the lunch lady your cafeteria card but your eye snags on something else entirely "Where's Wendy?"
Bebe looks in the same direction as you where your entire friend group sits, minus Wendy who you could've sworn was there only moments ago. Her tray still sat in front of her spot on the table "She's talking with Stan I think."
"What?" You look at the blonde text to you while you find your table "Are they getting back together or something?"
"She was saying she wanted to work things out with him last night, you'd know if you were there."
"Why didn't she tell me?" You furrow your eyebrows as you glance at Stan's regular table where he was also absent from. The second thing you noticed was how irritated Kyle seemed, likely because his best friend would be opting to spend time with Wendy again instead of him. Cartman plops himself down next to the ginger, only making Kyle more agitated. When Kyle looks away for a split second, Kenny steals food off his plate and blames it on Eric. “I would never steal food from a dirty Jew!” He says, voice carrying over every other conversation in the room.
"She might not have told because you can be a little-" Bebe searches around for a word that'll soften the message "Abrasive?"
"I'm not abrasive," You say as you sit yourself down at the cafeteria table, immediately met by curious glances from the rest of your friends. This made you question yourself. Had you been so blunt that your best friend didn't want to tell you what was going on in her life? Yes. You didn't know how else to be, it was wired into your system; born from the way you were raised, like a wild animal who fought for scraps, if you didn't kill, you wouldn’t eat. Your family wasn’t really complete, it was more like something like a mom who worked herself to rust and a dad who popped in and out like some kind of disappearing act.
No one bothers to dig deeper into your sentence, already enraptured in their conversation. "I wonder how Tolkien feels about it," Lola asks, leaning in a little to where Nelly sits on the other side of the table, seemingly hanging onto every word.
"I know!" Nelly says, unable to fight the smile that formed on her face every time she gossiped "Did you notice how he isn't sitting where he usually is." At this, everyone turns their heads to Tolkien's regular table, where he’s MIA from.
Halfway through sucking the meat off of his ribs, Cartman notices everyone at your table staring them down. He glances around the table before deciding that you are looking at him, barbeque sauce smeared over his mouth and down his fingers. "What the fuck are you looking at?" He calls out, now drawing the attention of the cafeteria to you and your friends who quickly avert their gazes back to their food.
You meet Kyles's eyes for just a moment, you can read loud and clear that he's annoyed Wendy's back in the picture and she'll be poaching his best friend from him. Despite the act he's trying to portray of being indifferent, you can tell there's a storm brewing beneath his green eyes.
In your pocket, your phone buzzes and you look at it.
McWhoremick: what was that about?
You: Cartman looking rancid
McWhoremick: fair
McWhoremick: wanna hang later?
You: fo sho
You: junkyard?
McWhoremick: yup
McWhoremick: see ya :P
"What's that?" Red peaks down at your phone from next to you, her chin resting on your shoulder "Is it Wendy?"
"She's been weird lately," Jenny says, she doesn't look up from her mac and cheese, just pushes it around absentmindedly with her fork.
"Probably because all of you are talking about her like she's not our friend," Heidi peeps up for the first time in the conversation. You're a little surprised that she's eating lunch with you, in recent days she's been so busy with sustainability club that it's taken up all of her lunch breaks.
Heidi was right as usual. It didn't feel right to be talking about Wendy when she was twenty metres away, it didn't feel right to talk about her at all. The group fell quiet at this, trying to search for another topic that didn't involve speaking poorly of your friend.
"So," Red starts "Who's excited for the basketball game?"
You really weren't, you had no intentions of going though you were sure your parents would make you go to support Kyle. "I think I'll go to watch Kyle," Nichole comments. Your head whips to look at her immediately, it only made sense that she was over Tolkien after what happened with Wendy but you hadn't expected her to go for Kyle.
"Uh oh," Annie says, a small smile playing on her face. Lately, she had taken good care of her curls, a stark difference from the frizzy mess that was stuck on her head all through middle school.
"Nichole," You say, staring her down "Are you okay?"
"Sorry to say this," Bebe pipes up, not one hundred percent tuned into the conversation "He actually isn't the piece of shit that you make him out to be."
"You don't-
"Know him like I do?" Heidi finishes your sentence for you. Something you had repeated over and over again when trying to get your point across that he was evil and no one could see it but you.
"I'd do it," Lola shrugs and your face contorts in disgust.
"Ew," You say with haste, fighting the urge to gag on your food. "Do you guys realize that he's ginger under that hat?"
Everyone is unsurprised at your disdain for him, even though you tried not to talk about him so you didn't seem obsessed, every now and then, the start of a rant would slip out and that would turn into you rambling on and on about every little annoying detail about him. You wondered for a brief moment if he did the same when walking about you.
"What is it that you hate about him anyway?" Red asks.
You rack your brain for a truly solid reason you can't say that it irritated you how Kyle ran the opposite way of you on the trail on your nightly run, it was the most dreaded part of the day, brushing past him and pretending not to notice. You also couldn't delve into the fact that he always had a bored, unimpressed expression on his face when he talked to you. "Everything." You answer "I hate everything about him."
"Okay gang," Mr Waterman claps his hands together once everyone is finally seated. "I know we're getting close to the end of the year and it's exciting but there is always work to be done." He was in his thirties, a little on the shorter side, with brown hair, glasses, and lean for a teacher though it made sense since he doubled as the basketball coach. He had tried his best to be funny though his jokes usually fell flat but you found yourself laughing out of pity like it was second nature.
Wendy sat next to you, you hadn't pressed her about Stan (despite wanting to) and she hadn't brought it up. Kyle sits next to a guy whose name slipped through the cracks of your mind and stays completely silent while the teacher gives his spiel about hard work and effort.
"This will be our final seating change for the year, so if you're next to someone you don't like know it'll be over by the end of June," Mr Waterman sits himself at his desk dead in front of every lab table, shares his computer screen to the projector, showing the new seating arrangments "Alright, here are your lab partners until semester end."
You scan the whiteboard for your name and your breath hitches in your throat when you see it next to Kyles. Kyle whips his head to look at you, your gazes matching in utter terror. You had relished in the fact that You had gone the entire semester without talking to Kyle a single time in biology class.
There weren’t desks in the science labs but black tables built for two people since they worked out better for experiments, there you were stuck at the back of the class with the ginger demon spawn.
"Mr Waterman?" You raise your hand but speak before he even calls on you "You need to move me or I'll kill myself."
"Woah," He puts both of his hands out "Let's not joke about that-
"I'm not joking," You cut him off, tone dead serious. Wendy tugs at the hem of your shirt, trying to get you to sit back down, you just cast her a glance before looking back to the short teacher. "I will kill myself."
"Can you and Kyle please come up here so I can talk to you," At Mr. Waterman's words, Kyle shoots you a malicious glare.
"When you cause a scene about not wanting to sit next to someone it can be hurtful," Mr Waterman addresses you, his tanned hands grasped together. Bless his heart, Kyle thought he was getting in trouble and it would put a dent into his perfect record, the kid never even missed a day of school. You and Kyle stand side by side, in front of Mr Waterman's desk, careful to keep a distance between you. "Think about how Kyle feels right now-
"I feel like I wanna slit my wrists." He deadpans, face unreadable as ever.
"Do you guys need someone to talk to?" Mr Waterman furrows his eyebrows, lowering his voice.
"No," You say, crossing your arms “Not unless it's to get a gun so I can blow my brains out."
"Okay," He repositions himself to sit taller "Can you please tell me why you don't want to sit next to each other, I'm sure we could work this out." You waste no time trying to get yourself away from Kyle, listing off all of his little habits that annoy you. Kyle, on the other hand, bites his tongue. He didn't want his teacher to think poorly of him, not when there was still a little over a month left of the worst year of school he'd ever put himself through.
"Kyle?" You furrow your eyebrows, waiting expectantly for him to go off on how you were disruptive and rude but he sort of just stood there. For a brief moment, you thought he was having a stroke.
"It's fine," At his words, your mouth goes ajar and your eyes widen. You had thought that the two of you stood in solidarity for one thing, you wanted to get away from each other.
"Is it really?" You say through gritted teeth.
"Yeah," He looks at you then back to Mr Waterman "It's just a childhood rivalry, we're just being immature," It took a lot for him to swallow his pride. Kyle just knew he had to get through June and then senior year would be smooth sailing.
"Well," Mr Waterman says and you can tell he's prepping himself for a speech "It seems to me like the two of you could benefit from this seating arrangement. When you get jobs you won't get along with everyone you work with-
"We both have jobs already," You cut him off and Kyle shuffles awkwardly where he stands while the rest of the class chats idly and waits for the lesson to start.
Mr Waterman casts you a look and clears his throat before picking up where he left off "And I understand that sometimes, personalities clash, but we're a team here, and teamwork requires cooperation and understanding. You both have so much potential, but that potential can only be realized when you learn to work together, to support each other, and to lift each other up, rather than tear each other down."
Kyle's mind must've been somewhere else completely, it was like he was in airplane mode, nodding along to everything Mr Waterman was saying. Though you could feel boredom creeping up, fighting yourself to pay attention to the genuinely useless pep talk.
"I want you to take a moment and think about what it means to be part of a team," Mr Waterman urged, his voice gentle yet persuasive. "Think about the strength that comes from unity, the power that comes from collaboration, and the joy that comes from shared success. Both of you are strong students and I can see you doing very well working together on labs and assignments, okay?"
"Yup," You nod your head, giving a thumbs up so he would excuse you and this would blow over.
"Okay," Kyle says.
A smile forms on Mr Waterman's face, he leans further back into his desk chair. "I think I can sense a friendship forming here, now go take your seats."
You laugh awkwardly, quickly brushing past Kyle to sit in your new spot at the back of the class. You were stuck sitting next to Kyle and behind Eric Cartman, how did he get into AP biology? You weren't one hundred percent sure though you heard Isla say that it was a misplacement that never got corrected.
Once again, Mr Waterman calls the class to capture their attention. Writing about the new unit on the whiteboard in a red dry-erase pen that was squeaky and running out of ink. You ruffle through your backpack, trying to find your binder while everyone else is rapidly taking notes. You pull out a stack of textbooks and some personal reading for English, finally finding your science binder.
"Why are you reading Mein Kampf?" He looks at the book that rests on top of the stack, it's old and beaten up and smells a bit like stale orange juice, the cover holds the jarring image of Adolf Hitler.
"Because I'm racist," You say, sarcastically but Kyle doesn't pick up on this and seems a little taken aback "Joking, obviously, it's for history."
He averts his eyes back to the whiteboard. Mr. Waterman speaks briefly on physiology, before wiping the board clean and unfreezing the projector where he set up a slide show. As most science teachers do, he clicks through the slide show and waits for his students to take notes, answering the few questions that the kids have.
"Shit," You mutter as the teacher skips to the next slide before you could finish copying what was on it. You glance at Kyle "Uh, did you write all of that down?”
Wordlessly, he pushes his paper towards you to copy it, he keeps his eyes trained on the board. His writing was neat, it looked like it could've been a font, each word spaced out almost precisely from the next. Cartman snakes his head around and then moves his entire body when he sees the two of relatively civil.
"Jews got a boner for the junkie," Cartman says, a little louder than intended. Next to him, David looks beyond annoyed, he’s gripping his pencil so tightly that you wouldn’t be surprised if he broke it.
"Shut up, fatass," You and Kyle manage to say in sync before you look at each other in disgust that your thoughts matched up.
"I fucking hate high school." You say under your breath, turning to look back at your notes and pushing his back toward him.
"Me too," Kyle says and you're actually on the same page for a change, you're not sure if you like it.
A/N: I hate this but here it is anyway 😔 I promise it gets more interesting. Open to head cannons and requests rn. Thanks for reading!
#kyle broflovski#eric cartman#south park#stan marsh#fanfic#wendy testaburger#bebe stevens#sp nichole#kyle broflovski fluff#kyle broflovski angst#kyle broflovski x reader#kyle brovlofski#kyle south park#kenny mccormick#red mcarthur#south park x y/n#south park x reader#south park kyle#writing#x reader
73 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ghost Bois (It's spooky time!!)
#south park#fanart#A lil fluff#Maybe a bit angst#If you think too much of it#Anyway#stan marsh#kyle broflovski#kenny mccormick#eric cartman#Main 4#they so/pos#venus rambling#firevenus art
918 notes
·
View notes
Text
stop scrolling for a moment and appreciate this big ol fosh
#sp#south park#resident evil remake#resident evil#south park cartman#kenny mccormick#stan marsh#kyle broflovski#south park imagines#resident evil imagines#leon kennedy x reader#leon kennedy imagine#leon s kennedy imagine#leon x you#leon kennedy x you#sp butters#butters scotch#genshin impact#genshin fluff#silent hill#art
155 notes
·
View notes
Note
heyy!! I saw that u were taking requests for south park so can I request stan x fem!reader where the reader and stan obviously like eachother, like they're both always together and they're always holding hands or linking their arms when they walk or sit together and everyone knows they like eachother,,
but the reader and stan r kind of dumb so it takes a while for them to actually confess to eachother😭
obliviously in love
a/n: OMG TYSM FOR REQUESTING THIS I HAD SM FUN WRITING THIS!!! HAVE A GREAT DAY LOVIE!!
stan marsh x gn! reader
-you have been apart of the boys friend group since preschool
-you guys were all very close, but you and stan had a relationship like no other
-kyle, kenny, and cartman all knew abt stan's little crush before stan did himself
-stan would ask people to move desks so he could sit by you in class and pass notes
-he is always around you, and the guys rip on him for following you like a puppy dog
-stan will literally tell people that you guys are just best friends with the biggest fucking blush ever
-sometimes you come over to his house to hang with shelly, and every time randy makes fun of you and stan for not getting together yet
-honestly everyone just assumed you guys were dating because you guys held hands and sat by eachother and all that cute shit
-once butters came up to him to ask abt him and you which made stan think abt his feelings
-he was def laying in his bed thinking abt you, and that's when he knew
-"oh shit i'm in love"
-he started to act weird around you, and sorta avoided you which made you think he didn't want to talk to you anymore
You made you way to the Marsh house, you were invited by Shelly to hang out. As you rang the doorbell, you hoped you could get a chance to talk to Stan and ask him why he's been acting different. Randy opened the door, and with a big smile said,
"Here to visit your boyfriend?? He's in his room right now."
"Acutally, Shelly invited me yo hang out" you replied, walking in the the house as Tany let you in. You walked to Shelly's room, and knocked on the door. Shelly opened it, and for the next hour or so you guys talked and had fun.
"Hey Shelly, has Stan been acting different lately? I think he's avoiding me and I don't know why."
"He's probably just being a turd like always, but you could talk to him about it." she replied.
And with that, you were walking to Stan's room, knocking on the door softly and thinking about what to say. Stan opened the door, and when he sees you his face turns bright red.
"Y-Y/N, what are you doing here??" he asked.
"Shelly asked me to hang out, but I needed to talk to you" you replied.
He let you in his room and you guys sat on his bed.
"Stan, are you okay?? I feel like you've been avoiding me and I just wanted it chekc up on you. If you don't want to be friends anymore that's fine but please tell me instead of ignoring me-"You rambled on and on.
Stan's eyes widened at the thought that you took his avoidance as disinterest, so he cut you off saying, "Of course I want to be friends, hell, I want to be more than friends! I love you so much and I was just scared of my own feelings."
You sat there, shocked that he confessed that he loved you instead of hated you.
"I love you too. So so much. Please don't avoid me anymore, and know that you can talk to me about anything" you said, slowly leaning toward him.
"I have a question." You stopped leaning toward him and asked him what it was.
"Can I be your boyfriend??" Stan asked, his face as red as Kyle's hair.
You chuckled and continued to lean forward, "Of course, as long as I can be your partner too" you joked.
He leaned foreword as well with a blush on his face, and your lips met in a tender kiss. You were the first to pull away, which made him pout and lean toward you again, but this time you tackled him into an embrace. You both fell sideways on the bed, and he snuggled closer to you, both of you falling asleep in complete bliss.
#south park#south park x reader#stan x reader#stan marsh x reader#kyle#kenny#cartman#butters#x reader#fanfic#fanfiction#fluff#angst#stan marsh#stan#stan south park#yn#gender neutral#reader insert
104 notes
·
View notes
Text
Y’all know I love all flavors of Style but NOTHING compares to Stick Of Truth like that is PRIME STYLE c’mon that whole gayass Renley Baratheon/Loras Tyrell thing they got goin on? Peak.
#just saying#stick of truth#south park#style#them#no wonder Cartman calls them gaywads#they fr are#I say this as I’m working on TFBW fluff#but y’all know sot on top for me always
17 notes
·
View notes
Note
hiii! could i request some eric cartman and Jimmy head canons with a super motherly reader? i love ur writing
synopsis: reader is such a mom friend,,......
characters: eric cartman, jimmy valmer
a/n: oh man i am not a mom friend i hope i did u justice
notes: gender neutral reader who acts kinda sweet and motherly but also a lil protective 😭
— ⛧ e. cartman
he talks a lot. all the time. about everything.
and you listen patiently about everything
he chatters on and on
and you're always listening about his shenanigans
"you did what? that isn't safe, eric!"
once you found out he didn't know how to do math
like at ALL
you helped him, to his disdain
"no, don't you get it? i can just copy tolkien's papers!"
"well, what're you gonna do if tolkien isn't in your class anymore? or if they put you in the front of the classroom? here, i'll show you."
patiently explaining polynomials over and over, never getting short with him
it goes over his head
but he just enjoys being in the library with you tbh
also the way you keep snacks in your backpack and let him go through it
he loves you, man
and he loves his cheesy poofs
"y/n, i'm hungry!"
"smallest pocket on the outside of my backpack", you say, not looking up from your homework.
"fuck yeah."
"don't say that"
"fuck yeah!"
sigh
he's so vulgar. like yeah you swear sometimes when it matters but like?? in public?? all the time???
you've learned to read his face
whenever you feel he might say something stupid in class, you look over at him and give him a disapproving face
he glances over, looks away,
its so hard for him but he doesnt say it. he cant just look at your face and then blurt it out...
the whole class silently thanks you for that
keeping cartman tame is like. the best thing anyone could ask for
he loves you so mucj
— ⛧ j. valmer
you're always the first person he goes to when he wants to tell a new joke.
he pulls out a list and reads them out
and you laugh at all of them!
it makes him so so happy to have you listen to them
even if some of the jokes are really really stupid
you always walk him to his classes and wait by his locker after the bell rings so that you can walk to the bus with him
he lost his pencil again?? no problem
you pull out a perfectly sharpened one with a brand-new eraser.
you're such a lifesaver
whenever he gets a papercut, you've got a band aid in the blink of an eye.
sometimes he likes to text you in the middle of the night about random shit like
j: y/n
j: guess what i just found out?
j: the "why did the chicken cross the road" joke is like... the chicken died. the "other side" is heaven
you: jim it's like two in the morning
you: go to sleep, you're going to have to get up early tomorrow. plus we have a quiz in history
you: goodnight jimmy sleep well!
genuinely worries you when he's up at ass o'clock in the morning like??? are you okay???
he assures you it's no big deal but you still want to make sure he's getting enough sleep ofc
he really loves the way you take such good care of him though
like??? the way you'll give up your jacket in the slushy chunks of snow when the bus is late and he starts shivering
and how you always have a phone charger in your backpack for him
#south park#south park hcs#south park headcanons#cartman fluff#eric cartman#eric cartman fluff#jimmy valmer fluff#jimmy valmer#jimmy valmer x reader#cartman x reader#eric cartman x reader
183 notes
·
View notes
Text
main 4 boys hcs: cuddling
note: the original request was just for cartman, but i included the other guys bc it would be a bit easier in case someone asked for the others :>
ERIC
he doesn't realise it, but he's pretty good to cuddle
like he's just comfy to lay on and/or put your arms around
doesn't like to admit it, but he likes it when you give him the attention and if it means you have to cuddle him then so be it!
pretends he doesn't like it if there's other people, like if you were both at a sleepover for example
behind closed doors is a different story
like you go to the bathroom and he's acting so dramatic that you got up
"How could you!?"
"Eric-"
"No, Y/N." He put his hands over his face as if he was crying. "You left me out here in the cold! Do you want me to freeze to death!?"
"I needed to use the bathroom," you stated, stifling a laugh.
"Well, now you don't. So get back in."
in other words, he's a little needy when it comes to cuddling
i can imagine he'd like to cuddle while watching something on either the tv in the living room, or on a laptop screen while you lay next to each other in bed
^^ or on his pc monitor if you're in his room - he'll move his chair to the side and bring the monitor closer so you can see it from his bed if you sit up against the wall
STAN
he's not too bothered about cuddling, i mean as long as you're close to him it doesn't matter
however...
he will want to cuddle if something from earlier that day made him jealous, maybe even right in front of the cause of the problem
you're his.
when it's just the two of you, he'll be as close as he can get. likely even having his legs over you and his arms tightly around you.
in regular circumstances, though. he'll probably just have an arm around you, laying on his back, while you lay on your side and wrap yourself around him
KYLE
i can see him liking spooning,, idk why
he'd be the big spoon ofc
imagine this: you're laying on your side, facing away from the door, as you scroll on whatever social media and wait for your bf to come to bed. he finally does after a long night of studying/working and he just collapses onto the bed and snakes his arm around you to bring you closer.
he just likes having you close
expect to wake up like that as well, so let's hope you wake up after him. otherwise you're not getting out of his grip for a while
would probably kiss you on the back of the head as well, usually as a good morning/night thing
KENNY
we all know by now that this mf is touch-starved to hell
so expect to cuddle in every possible way
laying in bed? immediately drapes his arm over you. making some food? his arms are around your waist. hanging around with some friends? ofc his arm is over your shoulder!
he just wants you close!!
also, i can see him being very handsy
or at the very least he would mindlessly trace on wherever his hand is resting, like your arm or back
reluctantly gets out of bed
"Kenny, I have to go to work."
"Call in sick."
#south park x reader#south park fanfiction#south park x y/n#south park#south park boys#eric cartman#stan marsh#kyle broflovski#kenny mccormick#eric cartman x reader#stan marsh x reader#kyle broflovski x reader#kenny mccormick x reader#headcanons#fluff#cuddling
910 notes
·
View notes
Text
— main 4 fasting for the first time!
hcs : g/n reader
a/n : for my muslim brothers nd sisters 🙏🙏 reader is muslim and asks the boys to try fasting w them for ramadan :D
— stan marsh
quite intrigued when you first bring it up, also pretty hesitant to try it
"wait so like- no food or water? for a whole day? are you sure I wont die..."
but with a little bit convincing, stan will eventually agree!
he starts off strong and confident 💪 bragging to the group and telling them all about fasting
but that confidence slowly dies as the hours pass... and poor boy gets so tired
he knows you said that while fasting that you should be as productive as possible, but hes just so tired and drowsy he cant help it 😭
he tries to play basketball with his friends, or even doing his homework. but he just can't focus on anything
he ends up sleeping the rest of the day till iftar
he apologizes and feels so bad 😓, but you tell him its fine since its his first time
I dont' think he'd do it again the next day or anytime soon, but maybe give it a few years and he might be able to fast all 30 days :D
— kyle broflovski
like stan also very intrigued and curious
he'll ask you alot of questions and take a few notes, before ultimately agreeing
hes a little nervous at first, but you manage to ease him with some words of affirmation!
tries to just distract himself for the whole day. studying, chores, video games, etc.
he doesn't make a big deal about it, but is definitely suffering on the inside
tbh the hardest part for him isn't the actual fasting, but not being able to swear or be mad (especially considering kyle has a short temper) 💀
cartman definitley takes advantage of this and calls him every name in the book. also purposely eats infront of him.
"hey stupid jew. look what I've got, a chocolate cake. you want some? oh wait, YOU CANT!"
"...I swear to god cartman."
almost broke his fast cause of him. 😭
but anyways, he manages to successfully finish his fast!
he would do it again, maybe in a few days if you asked.
— eric cartman
when you first tell him about fasting and ramadan, he'll literally be SO flabberghasted.
"wait wait wait, so you're telling me you can't EAT or even drink WATER for 30 days? you trying to get me killed or something?"
it'll take alot of convincing to get him to fast with you
alooot of convincing.
but when he eventually agrees, he will be SO dramatic about it and overexaggerates everything
"oh my god, I think Im dying. tell kyel.. I hope he gets cancer.."
refuses to go to school or even get out his room
liane gets very concerned about him, and'll constantly ask you if he'll be okay and won't die
you assure her that its completely fine, especially considering he ate almost half the fridge during suhoor.
he talks to his stuffed animals to try and cope.
tried to secretly eat a piece of candy while you weren't looking 💀you'll have to keep a close eye on him if you want him to actually finish his fast.
he'll definitely hold a grudge against you the whole day and refuse to talk to you.
but don't worry, you make it up to him by taking him to kfc for iftar 😋
bro literally ordered half the menu and gobbled everything up in a matter of minutes.
safe to say he won't be fasting again anytime soon. or ever again,
— kenny mccormick
the only one in the group who manages to fast with little to no problem
kenny doesn't usually eat much food anyway, so hes all down
the hardest part for him is not being able to have 'dirty' thoughts or look at porno magazines 💀
the guys probably don't even notice that kennys fasting since they know kenny usually eat till you or he brings it up
cartman also takes advantage of this and tries to get him to break his fast with money. (which fails cause you're there to shut him off)
doesn't really have a change in his routine or life, he just does what he normally does
you're surprised by how easy hes taking it tbh
when its time for iftar, you decide to invite him over your house to eat :D
hes shocked at all the food you had prepared by you and your parents, and extremely grateful too
that day he had the biggest meal for the first time in probably a few years 😭
definitely took home some leftovers after for his family.
overall he'd definitely wouldn't mind doing it again! especially if it means being able to go to your house to eat again.
#— elys works#south park fluff#south park hcs#stan marsh#stan marsh x reader#kyle broflovski#kyle broflovski x reader#kenny mccormick#kenny mccormick x reader#eric cartman#eric cartman x reader#stan marsh hcs#kyle broflovski hcs#kenny mccormick hcs#eric cartman hcs#south park x you#south park x y/n#south park imagines#platonic south park x reader#ramadan#ramadan 2023
165 notes
·
View notes
Text
I know when a ship is MY ship when I phisically can not take any angst about it without getting AT LEAST the exact same amount of fluff afterwards.
For example: Whenever I read creek fanfiction and It has the angst tag on it I NEED to check for a hurt/comfort tag AND assure it is between them. My ass is NOT reading anything without them having a somehow happy ending. I would kill myself.
Style on the other hand?? Oh yeah Stan spends almost half his life unrequitedly in love w Kyle until he accepts it won't ever happen and gives it up, distancing himself from Kyle to help himself forget about him. Except that it's not really unrequited, and Kyle finds out about his own 10 ten year old and still growing crush on his best friend when said best friend isn't around anymore. It's too late now, so he just lets the growing apart thing go it's course and hope that maybe, one day, he'll forget about Stan. They never get to know it could've been possible. oooh I'm 100% eating that shit UP
#Creek is for fluff and fluff ONLY I cant take anything else or ill die#btw ad Cartman ALSO having the biggest crush on Kyle since forever but knowing he and Stan love eo so he never says shit about it either#this is my dynamic for them#kenny is just chilling#👍#THIS IS ALL IN AN AGED UP WAY OBV LIKE#IN THEIRS 16/17/18/19#it doesnt apply to the current ages this is literally a problem for future main 4 w kenny as the infamous witness#creek applys bc theyre canon already and are the cutests kids in love EVER#creek#style#south park#sp#craig tucker#tweek tweak#stan marsh#kyle broflovski#sp creek#sp style#fanfiction#ao3#shipping#nate rambles
23 notes
·
View notes
Note
I was wondering if I can request to the main 4 + Craig with an s/o who is sick or with a fracture and has to be cared for? (if no one has requested it yet)
sorry for my bad english btw!
Team Stan + Craig taking care of their sick s/o🤧🤒❤️🤢
Warnings: None
Gender: Neutral
💙 Stan Marsh 🌀
He's not really that good at taking care of sick people but he tries his best so bare with him please 😢
He is good at checking your temperature and making sure it's not too high.
He definitely asks his mom to make you some soup because the last time he tried to make it, the house almost burned down 😭😭😭
Probably calls Kyle for advice since he has absolutely no clue what he is doing.
He probably snuggle up to you and give you cuddles even if he gets sick from you, he just wants you to be better alright :(
Kisses, cuddles, food, gifts, anything. Just name it and he will make sure to get it for you.💙💙💙💙
💚 Kyle Broflovski 🍏
He would probably do better then Stan tbh.
The only things he could probably make you are instant noodles, and chicken soup. Sorry but he's not a 5-star chef, if you want something else He's going to have to ask his mom to make it because he has no clue how to.
He would probably also wear a mask around you while he's giving you medicine or other things you need, he's not mocking you or anything he just doesn't want to get sick by you, he hates being sick.
So for your own amusement and fun you tried to cough on Kyle to piss him off and it worked, why you little...no more kisses or cuddles for the rest of the week!
Even though that 'no kisses or cuddles' punishment would probably only last for 5 mins because let's be honest, Kyle loves affection and he probably couldn't go a day without giving you kisses or cuddles.
And you also couldn't go a day without at least pissing off Kyle. 🤗😂💚💚💚💚
❤️ Eric Cartman 🧨
How many dollars you wanna bet that he would probably also be one of the causes of you being sick?
I'd say $40.
If you want food, he'll ask his mom to make it as well but he'll also probably snatch your plate away when you're taking a break from eating it tbh.
If you want medicine he might give you the one you hate the most, what? He's a dick to everyone and to you as well but not extreme like everyone else.
If you're upset or you're feeling your not getting any better. Cartman will then drop his foolish act and playing around and start to get serious about making you feel better. It's literal no fun when you're just in bed all day instead of tolerating his BS, giving him affection, and attention like you used to when you weren't sick.
Get better soon okay? No matter how much he wants to deny or hide it, he is secretly worried about you whenever you're sick.❤️❤️❤️❤️
🧡 Kenny Mccormick 🧀
He may be poor, but that doesn't mean he can't take care of his s/o like he did was his sister.
This mfer will gladly hold you in his arms while cuddling, he doesn't care if you accidentally get him sick >:(
When giving you medicine, he just god hopes that the one you need is cheap because or else he won't have enough money to buy it for you, so he'll have to pickpocket somebody.
This boy will do anything to help you get better, even If he has to die to do so. But he will stop being reckless if your blood pressure goes up from worrying too much about him.
Making food for you is going to be quite hard since his family is poor and they don't have that much groceries.
So he probably asks his friends on what he should do when you're hungry.
Cartman obviously gave him shitty advice, Kenny didn't know what to told until he saw you ordering some food from your (favorite food place) on the phone.
"I can't just lay down in bed and let you stress out yourself Ken, so I will also try my best to help myself get better!" 🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡.
💙 Craig Tucker 🐹
Another great caring boyfriend.
You can't hide your sickness from him. Get onto your bed and relax on there, and let Craig do his magic he's going to get rid of that sickness of yours.
Medicine? He already has a full stock, just tell him the one you need to take. (How tf does he have a whole stock of medicine though O.O)
But similar to Kyle, he doesn't like being sick himself so he does keep his distance from you just a little so you don't accidentally sneeze or cough on him.
He's going to be taking your temperature every 2 hours while having an ice pack on your head if you say you're having a headache.
As long as your temperature is normal, his hard work of getting you better is paying off 🤗
It doesn't matter how many times you get sick, you can always count on Craig to help you get better. But he will be slightly annoyed at you getting sick on purpose though. 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙
Dreidel dreidel dreidel dreidel
#south park x reader#south park#taking care of yourself#stan marsh x reader#kyle broflovski x reader#eric cartman x reader#kenny mccormick x reader#craig tucker x reader#craig tucker#kenny mccormick#stan marsh#eric cartman#kyle brovlofski#southpark blog#southpark sp#sp x reader#x reader#southpark x y/n#fluff headcanons#southpark scenarios#southpark headcanons
593 notes
·
View notes
Text
White Teeth Teens
Chapter Two: Favour
Kyle Broflovski x fem reader
I used to think about myself like I was a talented liar.
Premise: You’ve been avoiding Kyle like the plague but when tragedy strikes the track team, you find yourself needing to ask him for a favour, you know what you have to do but you don’t want to do it.
CW: Vulgar language+humour / underage smoking / injury
MASTERLIST
The weather had gone straight back to shit just like you predicted. You prayed that track practice would be cancelled due to the roaring sky overhead but god ignored you, turning a blind eye and offering nothing more than your coach nagging at you.
Rain wasn't any nicer to run in than overbearing and dry heat, it made you feel like a wet dog every time you had to wring your hair out or shake the droplets off your skin. It was no light sprinkle, the rain pounded down on the ground like bullets. It was so heavy that it felt like pebbles, it wasn't often that it rained in Colorado due to high altitudes but when it did, it came down hard and unwavering.
You had thought it to be a little dangerous running on turf in this weather but coach Dawsey blatantly denied any objections, sending you for another loop around the track the second you had a complaint. You were just glad that you didn't have soccer that day and wouldn't be going home covered head-to-toe in mud.
"What?" Tolkien asks you, it had been a little difficult to hear with his own breathing and the sound of rain on turf while the two of you were running cool-down laps around the outside of the track, it’s not like you needed them with the way you were freezing in the run. It was like coach Dawsey wanted the entire team to get sick, what was supposed to be a cool-down lap was working better to keep you warm.
"I said what time is it?" You repeat your question, using the heel of your palm to wipe your eyes. Each breath, huffing in droplets of rain where they rested on your lips.
"I dunno," He shrugs, "I left my watch in my bag," Everyone had either left their bags in their lockers or cars or like you, had been too lazy to do either and took the menacing odds of putting it under the bleachers and praying that whatever was inside wouldn't face water damage.
You let out a groan, at this point, you couldn't even feel your legs, they had gone numb beneath you. The sky above you was grey, it was only 4:30 in June but it looked like angry clouds had swallowed up the sun. "If the purge ever becomes legal, I'm headed straight for Dawsey." At your words, both you and Tolkien glance to where the pot-bellied coach is, timing the unfortunate guys doing hurdles, over and over again. He really had a way of actively pinning teammates against one another.
"Poor Adam," Tolkien says between heavy breaths. His tee shirt and basketball shorts are plastered against his ebony skin, you aren't much better off; your hair had been weighed down so heavily with water that it kept slipping from what you had tied it up in, so you gave up all hope and let it down to stick on your neck, flyaway hairs glued around your face to frame it. You were far from the point of caring about what you looked like, the only thing on your mind was going home and getting dried off.
"I would feel bad for him if he wasn't so whiney," On the other side of the track, Adam, a brunette guy in your grade, was extremely muscular for such a lean guy, the perfect build for track. You could've sworn that his parents had put him on steroids as a kid with how defined his muscles were, you had been on the track team with him and Tolkien for six years now.
Adam wasn't the friendliest but he was fast, so you didn't mind his shortness of conversation as long as he brought another medal to the trophy case. He is clearing the hurdles in comparison to the rest of the guys in the same heat, he made them look like paralyzed turtles.
Tolkien shrugs "Yeah but we need him to win the relay," The two of you ran past the long jump team, each and every one of them is covered in sand without fail. All of them look uncomfortable, sending you knowing glances. It was an understanding that all of you wanted to drown Coach Dawsey in the steeple chase pit.
You had been wearing Tolkien's hoodie since the rain started, it was definitely slowing you down with the extra weight it had while wet but you preferred to be slower than usual as opposed to having your white tee shirt turn translucent under the rainfall. You tended to stick together during track practice since you were on the mixed relay team together, you also liked to think that you were considered friends; not just because you ran at similar paces but because he enjoyed your company.
Disregarding Tolkien's last statement, you push some hair away from your face "I should've skipped with Red." Red was the fourth person on the mixed relay team, making up for a pretty solid roster though you tended to skip practice when she felt like it.
"I was going to but you begged me to not leave you alone."
"Because I'm not a bum who signs up for extracurriculars and skips them, don't tell her I said that," You retort "I'm trying to be a good influence." You were nearing where the hurdles were set up and Dawsey blew his whistle repeatedly, before flailing his arms rapidly and singling out one boy for having a quarter centimetre of his toe over the starting line.
"If you're trying to be a good influence maybe stop smoking your body weight in cigarettes and weed."
You narrow your eyes, giving him a firm chop in the side of his midriff. His eyes go wide and he stops in his tracks to fold over, one hand clutching where you hit him, the other supporting him on his knee to keep him standing up. "Oh my god," You slap a hand over your mouth, trying to smother a laugh “I did not mean to hit you that hard."
"Nah, you're fine, I just need a second to catch my breath," He takes a deep exhale, waving you off. You stop next to him, standing awkwardly, unsure of what to do so you just wait for him to keep moving.
"Hey!" A gruff voice calls out, travelling over the tumping rain "Is he dying?"
"No," You answer for Tolkien "He's good."
"Then get back to running!" The balding man screeched, you were surprised that the adhesive of his toupe hadn't fallen loose under the drizzle.
"Fuck you, porky," You say hooking one arm under Tolkiens to try and get the lanky boy to stand back up straight.
"What was that?" Coach narrows his eyes at you.
"I said 'I'm on it'!" You yell back, lies seeping through the gaps of your teeth. Tolkien shrugs your arm away from him, giving you a quick thumbs up before he carries on with his quick-paced steps, albeit breathing a little heavier. You were sure that Dawsey had to be putting you through some form of child abuse. "What a dickhead," You mutter to Tolkien, eyes still trained on where Dawsey focuses all of his attention on Adam.
"I'm surprised you're not used to him by now," He says "Then again you're not the most tolerant person."
"I'm totally tolerant, I love gay people."
Whatever remark Tolkien was about to say was quickly forgotten when all eyes fell on Adam. The brunette boy's heel had skidded and slipped as he jumped a hurdle, he threw his other leg out to try to catch himself. Instead of landing on the flat of his foot, his heel rolled and he was quickly sent backwards onto another boy, Emmet, Adam's calf bending in unnatural ways against the turf.
Then came the inevitable snap like a plastic ruler, the bone in his calf had broken completely in half. The impact of the stumble caused the ivory to poke through the muscle and fat of his leg. He lay on the wet surface of the track with a sickening cry, Emmet pinned beneath him screaming out in pain. Two up-and-coming track stars down in the span of thirty seconds.
"Adam!" Coach Dawsey sprinted faster than he did to the fridge toward Adam, crumbling to his knees. While the coach was focused on Adam, you were terrified for Emmet. Adam's elbow went straight into his ribs when he tumbled back into him. Emmet was frantically trying to push Adam off of him, which was no easy feat since his entire body was muscle.
"Fuck!" Emmet finally scrambles out from behind him, keeling over and clutching his torso. Everyone gathers around to watch the mortifying scene, both you and Tolkien stand at a loss for words.
"It'll be okay Adam," Dawsey sounds like he's being brought to tears, if there are any, they're washed away by the rain. He peals off his 'South Park Athletics' baseball cap like he's paying respects to a dead person, the front of his toupe comes up when he raises the hat, unknowingly exposing the peak of his shiny bald head. "We're going to get through this."
Coach tries to brush away some of the hair that had fallen onto Adam's face but the boy quickly slaps his hand away "Don't fucking touch me!" He spits "Someone call an ambulance!" Next to you, Tolkien gags at the sight of the mangled leg and split skin.
"You heard him," Coach Dawsey rises to his feet, trying to ignore the fact that his star runner's bone was sticking out of his leg in a mangled mess "Call an ambulance!" He yells, accusatorily at the group of teenagers in a circle surrounding him.
"You're the only one with a phone on you, dumb cunt!" You call out from the back of a crowd to be sure he wouldn't scope out it was you who said it.
He feels around in his pockets and surely, you're right. He made everyone leave their phones in their bags during the duration of practice. He quickly dials 911, while the line rings he looks at the crowd with furrowed eyebrows "Whoever said that, reveal yourself."
Everyone stays silent until an operator picks up on the other end.
After Chrissy drove Emmet to the hospital and Adam was rolled away into the safety of an overpriced ambulance, something else was worrying your mind now that their health was guaranteed- who was going to replace them?
"Tolkien, I have a proposition," You had taken an unnerving b-line away from Heidi and found yourself at Tolkien's table where he sat with the rest of his friends, you were already drowning in axe body spray and aftershave but you needed an impromptu meeting, dragging Red to come with you so you didn't have to face all of that testosterone alone. "Come over here," You swiftly gesture for him to come sit at a vacant table with you and Rebecca.
You spent the entire night wide awake on caffeine pills, trying to figure out who to sub in for Adam. The mixed relay team before he got injured was perfect down to every minute detail, now you were short of your fastest runner, leaving you, Tolkien, and Rebecca to fumble around for a replacement since the coach was mourning the loss of his shooting star, who was indefinitely out for at least six months. It didn't help that Adam had taken Emmet down in the process, now you were missing two great assets.
Tolkien looks back at his friends who watch him with confused and unwavering stares before pushing himself away from the table with a sigh. Leaving his lunch tray behind, he slips into the empty table next to Red and across from you. "Yeah?"
"I need you to ask Kyle to join the track team," You say, though it was difficult enough to humble yourself down into admitting you needed Kyle. He ran faster and more consistently than almost every sprinter on the team, you had plenty of girls to sub in for you and Red though with Adam dragging his sub out with him, you were left with no replacement aside from Spencer Hollis who was the other alternate and opted to go on a road trip with his friends and come back only for exams so he was out of the question with the track meet in two weeks.l
"Kyle?" Red furrows her eyebrows, tone suddenly switching "That's your solution? He's not even on the team."
"He's really fast though," You begin to plead "I've known him forever and trust me, he is one speedy little fucker, I swear on my life."
"Not swearing on much," Red shrugs.
"Why am I asking him?" Tolkien asks.
"Because you're friends with him," You were on the verge of pulling out the list of pros and cons of having Kyle on the team you had spent Thursday night making. "Guys, I begged the coach to let this slide and it was really embarrassing so can you please ask him? He said that he'll let Kyle join if he comes to the next practice and does well."
"You're at his house all the time, just ask him tonight," Red was nowhere near as invested as you were, hence why she skipped track all of the time. She wasn't worried about getting slow or lazy, she counted Coach Jackson's soccer practices towards track and ultimately figured she didn't need both to stay fit. Red always sent you to track practice with excuses for why she couldn't make it.
"Why are you at his house all of the time if you hate him so much?" Tolkien sits still, trying to piece together any sense. When you were frantically texting him the night of Adams's stumble, he suggested putting Scott in his place. In your not-so-humble opinion, Scott was way too slow for the 4x100 relay. You scribbled around in your notebook, trying to work out his run times which you meticulously memorised and came to the conclusion that it wouldn't work no matter where you placed him in the relay.
"Because their parents are swingers," She says this with such ease, made sense with how much she teased you about it. You would've complained if you didn't poke fun at her for worse.
"They are not swingers," You address "They are just good friends that hang out a lot and in turn, I have to hang out with Kyle a lot."
Red and Tolkien cast one another a side glance before Red turns her attention back to you. "Do they 'hang out' a lot without you guys around?" She softens her tone in a somewhat condescending way, the same way you would talk down to a child.
"They're not swingers," You emphasize, choosing to ignore the insinuations of you and Kyle which almost made you gag. "Please, Tolkien, we need this but don't tell him I said that."
"It's not really a proposition if you're just asking me to do something for you," He points out.
"It totally is, it's a plan of action," You say "Action which we need to take so we don't lose or get disqualified," There had been rumours of college scouts attending the track meet and you were in desperate need of getting a scholarship if you didn't want to be in student debt until the day they buried your cold body.
"Just put Scott in," Red suggests and you give her nothing more than a cold glare.
"Next person who says that is getting anonymously cyberbullied for the next year," You say, pointedly at the two of them before running your hands down your face, nearing defeat "Why did it have to rain?"
"Maybe it was divine intervention," Red says, nonchalantly "I think Dawsey wanted to sleep with Adam or something and that was god saving him from getting molested by a divorced PE teacher."
"He's weird but I don't think he's a pedophile or anything."
"You two are as fast as him and he doesn't give a shit about you," Red points out, one eyebrow raising slightly "Really think about it." Your mind began to wander to the way Dawsey always had a hand on Adam's back, how he always put him in the most ideal lane, and how he almost cartoonishly sprinted to his rescue when hit leg split.
"Maybe you're right." From the look on his face, you can tell Tolkien is calling back moments of Dawsey being a little too touchy with Adam.
"Or maybe coach just likes him more because he's a straight white guy and I can safely say the three of us are not," You draw the pair's attention back to you "Point is, he's out, Emmets out, Spencer's out, Scott is not even in question and we need Kyle."
"You need him?" A small smile begins to play on Red's face. In the past couple of years, Red had taken to a more grunge type of style, causing her to look like Kurt Cobain's lost daughter who fell into a vat of bright red hair dye, which was currently growing out, exposing her dark roots.
"Nuh-uh," You say almost instinctively, absentmindedly folding your arms. "I didn't say I need him I said we need him, like collectively because we're totally pwned if we don't coerse Kyle onto the team."
"And we're one hundred percent sure Emmet can't run?" Tolkien asks "I thought he just got hit in the stomach."
"I asked him about it and he told me cracked his ribs and it hurts to breathe or something, I dunno but it's super fucking gay." Your eyes shift to Red "Not in a derogatory way but in a lame-
"Yeah, we know," Tolkien stops you in your tracks.
"What a pussy," Red says, she isn't really tuned in, she's moved on to watching street fights online while partially listening to the conversation "It always hurts you to breathe and you're still running."
"That's what I said," You exasperate.
"It really shouldn't hurt to breathe," Tolkien says "Might be a little on the nose but you really need to stop smoking."
Red disregards this completely, "Ask Kyle next period or Tolkien could just text him." looking up from her phone to you "Or 1 could just text him." You and Kyle had texted each other a total of six times, this was no exaggeration, it was exactly six times.
Oct 11th, 2020
Kyle Broflovski: Is Ike at your house?
You: Ya
July 21st, 2023
You: Do you know where Kenny is?
Kyle Broflovski: No
Kyle Broflovski: I thought he was with you
You: K he's not
"I can't ask him, I can't even breathe around him without gagging," You complain "Because authentic gingers have this really specific and pungent smell, like every single one, without fail."
Tolkien eyebrows are raised, wrinkles forming on his forehead "That might be the stupidest thing I've ever heard."
"What does a ginger smell like?" Red put her phone face down on the table, suddenly intrigued.
"It's stagnant and a little musty, not like body odour musty but more like an old second-hand bookstore that has mildew and black mold-
"I can't help but feel like we got off topic here," Tolkien abruptly cuts you off again for the second time that day "So can we just agree on Kyle so I can eat my lunch?" At this, you and Red nod, with no sense of disagreement "Okay, cool," The very second Tolkien stands up from the table, the bell begins to shriek, signalling the end of lunch hour. He throws his hands up in exasperation, looking woefully at his unfinished tray of food.
You had been entirely too stiff when Biology class rolled around, more aware of Kyle's presence than usual. Fate, or perhaps the whims of the teacher, had decreed that you would be seatmates for the remainder of the semester. However, there was no friendship to be found between you, only a simmering animosity that hung in the air like static before a storm.
As the teacher droned on about cell structures and molecular biology, you and Kyle remained steadfast in their resolve to ignore each other's presence. You exchanged no words, no glances, only the occasional rustle of papers or the tap of a pencil against a desk.
Despite your mutual disdain, there was an unspoken understanding between you – a silent agreement to coexist in the same space without acknowledging each other's existence. And so, you buried yourself in their work, diving into the intricacies of biology as if it were a shield against the discomfort of your shared proximity.
You knew what you were supposed to do, but that didn't make it any easier for you to swallow your pride and ask Kyle for a favour. It was hard enough to admit to yourself that you needed him if you wanted to win the mixed relay which you had spent the entire year anticipating. With a deep breath, you replay how you'll ask him over and over again, being sure that you don't sound desperate.
"Kyle, have you ever thought about joining the track-
"Nope," He answers before you can even finish your sentence. Kyle doesn't even look up from his work as he says this, leaving you to stare at the side of his hooked nose before quickly looking down at your paper.
"Okay," you mutter under your breath, you were so quiet that you weren't sure he even heard you. The minutes ticked by, marked only by the rhythmic scratching of pens and the occasional sigh of frustration, you fell back to silence and didn't press him any further.
"I did everything I could," You greatly over-exaggerate the eleven words you had shared with Kyle in biology like you had gone to war asking him to join the team, in your mind, you had. Now you were picking at a basket of curly fries in a diner where you complained about your excruciating dilemma to your Bebe.
"Everything?" Bebe quirks an eyebrow, taking a sip of her cherry coke, glossed lips pressing around the red and white straw. When she lifts them, there's a sticky residue of glitter on the straw "What does this entail?"
"It entails Kyle being a dickhead."
"Yeah, I'm sure," She says, not an ounce of belief in her voice. She leaned back in the red leather booth. Bebe looks beyond beat (for her standards), she haphazardly tied her curly hair into two twin braids, mismatched elastics. She had been wearing nothing more than sweatpants and a tank top when you left her house, forcing you to surrender your hoodie to keep goosebumps away from her bare arms. "Should we go to Clyde's later?"
"Why would we go to Clyde's? It's almost ten," You furrow your eyebrows "I don't really wanna spend my Friday night third wheeling."
"You won't be third wheeling, it's not like we're dating or anything-
"Yeah, but it's worse to third-wheel two horny people who aren't even dating," You had a gut feeling that any day now Clyde and Bebe would become official, Stan was now taking Wendy's time back up, Nichole and Tolkien seeing each other on the low, and you were suspicious of Red and Heidi, now Bebe was going for her elementary spark. All of your friends were abruptly falling in love and no one gave you the memo, leaving you in the dust.
"So what better things did you have planned?" She steals a fry away from you, dragging it through the ketchup.
You shrug "Get high and look at pictures of Snoopy."
"That's more of a thing you do with Red," Bebe said. Despite the statement itself being true, you could tell she was trying to deviate from you to go see her new fling.
"So you're tyna ditch me now to go hang out with Clyde?" You fall short of the amusement that Bebe's trying to portray.
"What? no," She says this like your statement was incredulous "I'm just saying that you would have more fun smoking with Rebecca."
"And you'd have more fun banging Clyde?" You weren't sure if it had been the nagging feeling that all of your friends were leaving you in the dust and making time for better things or the fact that this wouldn't be the first time Bebe cancelled your plans to hang out with someone else but something about this conversation was irking you.
Her face drops "Why are you being a dick?"
"Why are you trying to get rid of me?"
She wouldn't admit to it but it was true. Not that Bebe necessarily had strife with you, more so she tended to fall on the fickle side of things and being around you so much had put her into a rut. "I'm not," Bebe wrangles her mind to sedate this before it blows up "Sorry, can we please just drop this?”
Silence stretches between the two of you, if it weren't for the chatter of other customers and light buzzing of decrepit ceiling lights, it would've been utter stillness. Her icy blue eyes were peering into your soul, your hoodie hanging limp off her narrow shoulders.
You didn't necessarily want to leave it alone, you weren't one to lie down rather than win an argument but today your internal chemistry had been tweaked; for a moment you thought about letting it go, being rational and not provoking, which was so hard since it was what you were so good at. "No," You answer "I don't think we should drop it."
You can see the look of annoyance creep up on Bebe's face "Why?"
"It's better to talk about it-
"This always happens though," Bebe begins "I say something, you say something, and then we don't talk for a month so I don't think it's better to talk about it."
"Maybe there's a reason we fight all the time," you point out. There were at least one hundred reasons why you and Bebe fought all the time, mainly because the two of you fed into each other's agitation, putting the two of you together was like leaving a lit candle in the woods.
"I'm not here to psychoanalyze this, let's just go and get stoned." She pulls the final trick from her sleeve, pot to put this to sleep.
Bebe was the match to your kindling, the fuel to your fire and that's why you had been so off and on with her since middle school, you were like that annoying couple who kept breaking up and then exhausting everyone by getting back together.
As much as you want to argue until your throat turns dry as sandpaper from yelling, you also want to get high and laugh until your lungs burn. "Sure, okay."
It goes quiet for another minute. Followed by another and another until you both accept that there's nothing more to say, you pay the bill and begin the trek back to your car. While the rain had subsided it was as cold as ever, always an unwelcomed familiarity that came with living in South Park. Even with summer inevitably approaching, the nights were still frigid after rainfall almost to the point where you could see your breath.
Bebe had stolen your hoodie and left you shivering on the walk to your car. The diner parking was something outrageously complicated where you had to download an app and pay online, to which you were lazy and in being lazy, parked far away in a faraway spot. This had taken far more time to find the spot, park, and walk to the diner than it would've been to get an app and pay the three dollars.
You had clutched the pink bottle of pepper spray that was hooked onto your carabiner tightly in your hand, never too sure of who would try to get one on you while you found your way through the dark streets.
Finally, after what seemed like a century of stumbling blindly through darkness, you made it to your car, parked in front of a locksmith. The street lamps were dim, you supposed it was nice that you didn't have light pollution in town but you hadn't even noticed the oddity on your car until Bebe pointed it out.
"What's that?" She squints her eyes before turning on her phone flash to inspect.
There it was, unmistakable in the faint glow of a nearby streetlamp: a bright yellow clamp securing your car's front wheel. "Oh no, no, no!" Your exclamation cut through the eery quiet of the night "Fuck!"
"Oh, shit," Bebe mutters, immediately beginning to rapidly type on her phone, the blue light illuminating her tanned face, you heat the loud ding of a notfication.
Your hands find their way to grip your hair "What the fuck!?" You shout, louder than intended, your voice echoing off the surrounding buildings, the emptiness of the night amplifying your distress. "I don't have any unpaid parking tickets, what the fuck?" You repeat, mind running wild with how your parents would react. Your phone had died a little over a half hour ago so you were choosing to use that as an excuse to delay telling your parents.
"Look, you parked in a bike lane," She gestures out. Surely enough Bebe was right, you had and you were also inexplicably screwed over.
"Why didn't you tell me?" You knew Bebe wasn't to blame for your car being immobilized but a million thoughts were tangling into a jumbled mess inside of your head.
"I didn't see either," She looks up from her phone to where you frantically pace the sidewalk "Not my fault you parked in a fucking bike lane and didn't notice."
Your eye catches a slip of paper wedged into your window shield and immediately you reach for it.
This notice is to inform you that your vehicle has been clamped due to a violation of parking regulations or outstanding fines. The clamp has been securely attached to your vehicle's wheel, rendering it immobile. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO MOVE THE VEHICLE OR REMOVE THE CLAMP.
Reason for Clamping: [illegal parking]
Location of Clamping: [Maplewood Street, v2ah60]
For instructions on release please dial +15392848788
Thank you for your cooperation.
You wave the notice around "Bebe take a picture of this, my phone died and I need the number," To this, she just stares at you blankly "Please!?" You insinuate. Panic is etched clearly across your features.
"Jesus, just relax," The irritation is obvious in her voice as takes a picture with a blinding flash not just of the slip of paper but of you holding the notice, eyes squinting from the sudden bright light and hair messy from nearly ripping it out due to stress. She looks at the picture she took and giggles.
"Fuck off, can you be serious right now?" You're too busy thinking of all the ways your dad will execute you rather than the harsh tone you were using with your friend. He didn't speak to you for a week when he found out you were on birth control, you couldn't imagine what he would do when he found out that you had a fine.
"Sorry?" She sounds like she's actually taken offence to your words. "I'm trying not to be stressed since you're two minutes away from tearing your hair out."
"Because you don't have to worry about your dad turning you into taxidermy," To others, this may have sounded ridiculous but you had no doubt in your mind that your father would take such extremities. "Can you please be mature about this?"
Bebe's eyes widen slightly, eyebrows raising "You want me to be mature when all you do is bitch and moan about Kyle like we're in the fourth grade?"
"Yeah, I wouldn't mind it." You snap. You weren't the most rational person, now desperately grasping for someone or something to shift the blame.
"You can't get all pissed off when this is your fault," Bebe crosses her arms, physically getting defensive, the phone still clutched in one hand "You're the one who parked illegally."
"Because you told me to park in front of the locksmith!" You gesture towards the building you were now arguing in front of. The building itself looked haunted, the run-down locksmith shop stands like a forgotten relic amidst a row of bustling businesses that were kept with the care that this shop was definitely missing. The windows, clouded with grime and dust, offer only glimpses of the dim interior beyond. Some are cracked, their fractured panes held together by strips of weathered tape. The exterior itself was hideous, a bright yellow paint dulled by the passage of time that had orange patterns of keys and locks all over it, a sign above hung that read 'chipper locks' You didn't imagine that they got much business.
"You listened!" She deflects the blame like a game of tennis
"No, I said I didn't want to park here because it's sketchy and I was scared a crackhead would hide under my car and slash my Achilles tendon when I got back in but you told me to stop bitching about it!"
"You're the only person on earth that would worry about something so fucking irrational, shouldn't you be stressed about finals instead of having nightmares about serial killers you made up in your head?"
"I didn't make it up in my head," You defend "It's all over like everything." It did quickly become a fear of yours since Nichole sent you a video about traffickers hiding under cars and slashing women's tendons, all she said was 'that's crazy lol' but it instilled terror in you and made you glance under your car before getting in no matter where you had left it parked.
"You're insane," She mutters, so quietly that she hadn't expected you to hear.
Unfortunately for both of you, it didn't fall deaf upon your ears "I'm sorry?"
"It's okay," Bebe waves you off.
"No, I'm not apologizing," You furrow your eyebrows "You just called me insane, what the fuck, Bebe."
"Not in a bad way," Bebe hugs herself to try and fight off the cold. She doesn't seem to grasp the gravity of every word she spat out at you.
"How is there possibly a good way to call someone insane?"
"I meant you're insane in a wild kind of way, like a party animal," She tries to climb out of the grave she was digging for herself. "Like, wow, this girl's insane," Bebe mimics in a deeper voice, trying to portray some frat guy referring to you like you are the life of the party.
You stare at her, mouth slightly agape as you process the situation. "You know what?"
"What?" Bebe tucks a flyaway strand of her blonde hair behind her ear, her messy twin braids swaying slightly in the wind.
"You're a fucking cunt," You spit, pointing a finger at her in an accusatory manner, eyes narrowing. The words fell from your mouth like venom puncturing skin.
Whatever Bebe was expecting you to say it wasn't that. She's genuinely taken aback and it's clear across her face, her eyes widened in disbelief, pupils dilating as if trying to take in the enormity of what she had just heard. The muscles in her jaw slackened, her lips parting slightly in a silent gasp. "Yeah?" She raises her voice "You're a little bitch."
"I don't really care," The two of you had an almost impressive way of taking things from zero to one hundred with little build-up between.
"Do you care about anything?" Bebe's expression shifted subtly, betraying the undercurrent of annoyance coursing through her. Her lips pressed into a thin line, a silent indication of her displeasure, while her eyebrows drew together in a slight furrow, hinting at the frustration simmering just beneath the surface.
"You'd probably know if you weren't too busy trying to get dicked down by Clyde," You retort, the muscles in your jaw tensing up.
"At least I can get laid, you just wallow around in your own loneliness and get all bitter about happy couples for whatever fucking reason."
You completely breeze past the fact that she's right and scramble for something to say "You wanna be an author and you can't even read the ingredients list on a can of Coke," Though you tried to maintain composure, there was a flicker of impatience in your movements, a subtle stiffness in your posture that spoke volumes.
Her brows arched upwards, forming a perfect curve of incredulity. A flush of colour rose to her cheeks, a telltale sign that you had hurt her. "You're such a dick," Bebe says and a hush settles over you "You know your now a good person, right?"
“And you think you are?"
For another time, the conversation fell into a lull. For a long while, you stood there in the cold, breath mingling with the frosty air, until a familiar car rolled to a stop right next to yours. It was Clyde's black Chevrolet.
"You texted Clyde?" This might've been what hurt you the most, more than any other sentence uttered that night.
"Yup, sure did,” Bebe turns away from you to open the passenger door "You have a huge pimple on your face by the way, it's literally the only thing I can focus on when I look at you, it's fucking disgusting."
Your hand reaches for the small bump on your cheekbone on instinct "It's a spider bite, actually," You're correct this fact makes you seem high and mighty "Because I sleep with my window open."
“Oh my god," Bebe mutters, wrinkling her nose.
"Does she need a ride?" Clyde asks eyebrows furrowed as his eyes shoot between where you stand on the pavement and Bebe climbing into the passenger seat.
"No, she's fine," Bebe answers for you, shutting the door. Inside the car, Clyde says something to her that you can't make out, just muffled mutters. In just seconds you hear the ignition start and watch as he glides down the road.
Your fingers curled into fists at your sides as a surge of newfound anger washes over you. As Clyde's car pulled away, disappearing into the darkness with Bebe at the wheel, the cold seeped into your bones, matching the icy chill in your chair as you stood alone on the deserted street.
"You're a fucking asshole, Bebe!" You shout after them though it's futile, you know she can't hear you, but it doesn't stop you from holding up your middle finger and cussing her out. To passersby, it probably looked like you had something in your system "And you're wearing my hoodie!"
You run your hands down your face, nearly scraping the soft skin with your fingernails as you pace around in a small circle. You were left with a car rendered immobile, a dead cellphone, nine dollars on you, and a home forty minutes away in walking distance, better start moving.
Glancing at your car and the long dark road ahead, you quickly unlocked your car, hopping into the driver's seat and rummaging around in your compartment for a little bit of relief. You dig deep into the console box for a box of stale cigarettes you had forgotten in there, still it was better than nothing. You yank one out and let it rest between two fingers while you bring a lime green lighter to the end to ignite it.
The tip glowed bright orange as you brought it to your lips, inhaling deeply and exhaling a plume of smoke into the cool night air. You lock your car, tucking the lighter and pack of Marlboros into your pocket, snatching the notice from your windshield for the phone number and begin the trek home.
While it was only an eight-minute drive, the walk was more strenuous. You wished that you had some heavily padded parka to wrap around yourself though you had nothing more than the heat radiating off the end of your cigarette, in your other hand you grasped to the pink bottle of pepper spray for dear life, the car clamp notice tucked under your arm.
As childish as it was, you found yourself almost fighting back tears, that familiar feeling building in your throat like every awful thing you had ever felt was going to fall through the gaps of your teeth. You were sure that you deserved to be deserted on the damp streets, truthfully you didn't expect Bebe to show you any form of mercy after what you had said to her and you had proved to be correct on the matter.
It was moments like this where you were sure there was nothing worse than making friends.
Maybe you would be a hermit for a bit, head straight home after track and soccer, then lock yourself away for the summer until you've reinvented yourself into someone a little more agreeable.
The rhythmic sound of your breath mingled with the gentle rustle of leaves in the breeze, the chill of the night air nipped at your cheeks, but you pressed on, fueled by the knowledge that there would be a hot shower waiting for you at home. That almost cancelled out the idea of telling your parents you were getting charged for illegal parking and then explaining a fabricated lie to them that you smelled like tobacco because the man beside you at the diner was smoking. What a delinquent you were.
As you walked, your thoughts drifted like smoke on the wind, swirling and shifting with each exhale. Memories and worries danced through your mind, fleeting and ephemeral, like wisps of smoke disappearing into the night sky. You were so close to subbing in Scott for the relay even though you had been so opposed to it since it would guarantee a loss but if Tolkien wouldn't ask Kyle then you would have to accept the fact you were bound to lose since you were cursed with a team that only signed up for track to skip school on the day of the meet and hang around the concession stand.
The quiet peace that you had lost in your own thoughts was quickly broken when you picked up on the navy blue car slowing down as it approached you. Your cigarette burns to the filter and you drop it to the ground, smothering the fizzing embers out with your heel as you watch the car for a brief moment before quickly turning and quickening your pace. Praying to every god you didn't believe in that this wouldn't evolve into something more.
When you speed up, so does the car. You're even more aware of your surroundings now, the mace firm in your grip, you kept one thumb on the top preparing yourself for the worst. "Hey!" A gruff voice from the car yells, he rolls his window down, you can't make out his face and you aren't sure that you want to.
This is all it takes for you to move from your fast walk to a run, ignoring the cold air eating away at the tip of your nose and the sharp burning in your lungs. The man from the car yells something else but your heart is pounding too loud for you to hear anything off in the distance.
Your senses suddenly heightened, a prickling sensation crawling up the back of your neck. You felt a surge of unease wash over you as the sound of an engine revving filled the air, growing louder and closer with each passing moment.
Instinctively, you hastened your pace even further, your heart pounding in your chest as you cast a nervous glance over your shoulder. Its headlights pierced the darkness like beacons of warning.
You knew you had to act fast, figuring that whoever was chasing you was the type to slash tendons and the streets were absurdly empty aside from you and the man in the car. With a desperate glance around you, you spotted an alleyway up ahead, a narrow passage shrouded in darkness. Without hesitation, you veered off the main road and plunged into the shadows, heart pounding in your chest as you raced for safety.
With another glance around, you finally stopped to catch a breather, trying to swallow up all of the air you could and think of what to do next, it felt like wild horses were racing through veins in the form of adrenaline. Your heartbeat pounded in your ears and your shaky breathing seemed to devour every last rational thought you have.
You renavigate your way home, trying to avoid the sketchy road where the man in the car was likely waiting to pull you in. You emerge from the ally on another street, clear of any cars, with a deep sigh, you light another cigarette, leaving you with an empty box that you toss into the nearest garbage. The nicotine had soothed you, the notice was now crumpled up into your pocket wedged next to your dead cell phone and your carabiner hung off one of your fingers, keys and mace clattering against one another.
Still, you were anxious despite the cigarette smoke loosening your tightly wound nerves just a little. You stayed hyper-aware of everything around you, walking as fast as you could before it classified as a run and being sure to remain silent so you could hear everything around you.
"Wait, man!" You hear a voice off in the distance and turn to see that navy blue car once again. You were ready to take off until you noticed something in the dim light of the street lamps. The face of a guy around your age, a straight nose and dark hair, Stan Marsh.
You pause as the car pulls beside you and you see the other faces in the car, in the back sit Cartman and Kenny, in the passenger seat is Stan's right-hand man and your least favourite person, Kyle. "Oh my god, I thought you were a pedophile!" Your voice picks up with agitation.
"Why?"
"Because you fucking trailed me with your car at night and yelled at me on an empty street!” You look past Kyle and directly at Stan where he sits by the wheel. You take one more long drag of your cigarette before snubbing it out on the pavement. Kyle wrinkles his nose at the smell "What the fuck is wrong with you?"
He gives Kyle a little nervous glance before looking at you "Wendy said something happened with Bebe and we saw you and figured-
"That you would make me think I was going to get kidnapped?" You almost want to drag him out of his seat and sucker punch you for scaring you so badly.
"Hey," Kenny chimes in from the back, he's smiling at you, a fresh scrape across his left cheekbone. "I texted you and you didn't answer."
"So-uh, do you want a ride?" Stan asks "Because you'll get kidnapped for real if you keep walking."
"We don't have room," Cartman adds where he sits behind Kyle, stretching his legs out with what little space Kyle had given him.
"Because you're taking all of it up fatass," Kenny points out "Sit in the front."
"I don't want to be in the same car as a junkie, she'll probably stick us with needles and get us all addicted to heroin." Cartman was well bundled up on this chilly night, a grey hoodie and flannel hanging overtop.
Stan ignores this comment "So?"
You think through Stan's offer, even though it was a nightmare situation to be stuck in a vehicle with Cartman and Kyle he was likely right when he said you would get kidnapped for real. South Park wasn't the safest town despite how it was portrayed on travel pamphlets and blogs. While the residential area was good for kids to play in, the main streets were a little crude. "Yeah, sure," You mutter "Please."
Cartman lets out a loud groan as the boys reorganize themselves to accommodate you. Kyle ducks out of the passenger seat and out into the chilly night, to your surprise, he isn't wearing his hat, his red curls hanging loose. Cartman hauls himself into the passenger seat, uttering complaints the entire time.
You wait for Kyle to clamour into the backseat but he doesn't, he just stands by the open door, waiting expectedly for you to get in. When you realize that you're meant to be sitting in the middle you almost want to protest but decide against it, Stan was being nice enough offering you a ride when you barely knew him aside from being Wendy's boyfriend.
The very second you buckle into the backseat, Cartman begins to cough dramatically. He's heaving on nothing, exaggerating the slight smokey smell that lingered on you. He claws at his throat "It's so hard to breathe," He mumbles like he's choking.
This must be what hell feels like.
“Why were you walking?" Kenny breaks up the sound of Eric wheezing. Wordlessly, you reach for the crumpled slip of paper in your pocket and smooth it out as much as possible over one of your thighs before handing it to him. His eyes visibly brighten as he reads it a small smile splitting across his face "Illegal parking," he lets out a low whistle "I love myself a lawbreaker," He hands the notice back to you.
Kyle subtly looks down at the paper, he didn't finish reading it before you fold it up and tuck it back into your pocket. He's interested but he won't admit it, so instead of pressing the matter, he trains his eyes to watch the concrete sidewalk roll by out of the window.
You're crammed between the two, your thighs touching theirs, Kyle tries to make himself as small as possible while Kenny carelessly man-spreads, his leg almost overlapping yours. "How long are you going to be grounded for that one?" Kenny asks.
"I'm trying to get it settled without them finding out," With aptitude you peek at Kyle whose eyes meet yours before deviating. You didn't think he would go snitching on you but it still worried you. He had far more blackmail over you than you had on him, you were still clinging to things he did in freshman year while it seemed that every month you had a new secret to keep from your parents.
"Good luck with that," He says, also staring out the window though he didn't do it to avoid you "You got the money to pay for the fine?"
You find yourself glimpsing back at Kyle, using this question as a scapegoat to clear yourself before he even gets the idea of telling either of your parents "Yes and I will pay the fine as soon as possible, from this point moving forward I am going to be a law-abiding citizen, I vow to never park in a bike lane again and not to steal prozac from my dad," You indirectly address Kyle, he can tell what you're trying to do based on the way you keep shifting your eyes to look at him. Kyle looks at you, he doesn't say anything but you understand him clearly 'What the fuck are you doing?'
"Okay?" Kenny says, sounding confused "That's cool, I guess, good for you."
"Hide your Advil, Stan," Cartman peeps up, watching you from the rearview mirror "Crash is on a crime spree, she might steal your mom's jewelry for drug money too.”
Growing too tired to say something snarky in return, you just lean back in your seat, eyes half-lidded as you listen to Cartman besmirch you. Everyone in the car had accepted this to be a regular occurrence. At first, when everyone in your grade greeted you by calling you Junkie, Crackhead or something along that line you wanted to hug your mom and cry but you quickly grew desensitized to it after two weeks, it just felt like another nickname.
Stan cranks his stereo up to drown out Cartman's incoherent complaints. It's some metal band that you had never heard before playing faintly while Kenny shows you pictures of his roster on his cheap phone that he had spent two paycheques purchasing. "So where were you guys headed before you picked me up?" You ask, purely to try and make polite conversation, feeling immensely out of place with the four of them all together.
"We were going to Stans for game night," Kenny says, still scrolling through his stickers on Snapchat "You wanna come?" Truthfully you hadn't been hanging out with Kenny as much as you used to, you still smoked pot every now and then but it was rare for the two of you to sit down and actually do something together or go out somewhere. You were too preoccupied with track and soccer and all of your friend's drama, their secrets piling on you like fines.
Cartman whips his head around to look at Kenny with fury in his eyes. "Nah," You draw out, scrambling for an excuse "I should probably just go home and repent for my crimes against the state."
"Kinda hot," Kenny nods absentmindedly.
Conversation faltered as you struggled to find common ground, the weight of unspoken words hanging heavy between you. Every attempt at small talk fell flat, each joke met with forced laughter that only served to highlight the awkwardness of the situation. You could've sworn you were more socialized than you were acting. “Man, I love track and field, what an incredible sport to have on a college application,” This time you aren’t as discreet with your subliminal messaging to Kyle, turning your head to look at him completely. He doesn’t say anything.
With each passing mile, the silence grew more suffocating, pressing in on them like a heavy blanket. You fidgeted nervously, your eyes darting from one face to another as you searched for an escape from the uncomfortable tension.
Stan sped over a speed bump, you reached your hands out to grab something on instinct, hand gracing Kyle's leg for the briefest moment, still you retract it and look at him in horror.
Clasping your hands together in your lap you anticipate each passing second as Stan neared your street you felt relief wash over you like a baptism. "Right here," You say and Stan slows the car by your front yard, the lights are on in your home casting a warm glow into the velvety black night.
Before the car even comes to a full stop, Kyle opens the door, wanting this to be over as bad as you do. With haste, he unbuckled his seatbelt and took a step out with his lanky legs. His green eyes watch your every move while you shimmy out of the middle seat, taking in a deep breath of clean air that didn't smell like car freshener and body spray. "Thanks for the ride," You give Stan a tight-lipped smile, ready to walk away until Kyle opens his mouth.
"When's the next track practice?"
"What?" You furrow your eyebrows "You're joining?"
"Yeah, Tolkien asked me to," He says and the space between you fills with silence.
The soft expression on your face quickly morphs into something a little more vicious "So Tolkien asks you to join and you jump at the chance?" You say, snarky.
Kyle seems unphased "I actually like Tolkien."
"Yeah, I know, You probably explore each other's bodies." You brush past him fighting the urge to just walk into your house, maybe it was because someone had replaced your calcium with mercury or you were just tired but today someone had messed with your internal chemistry "Uh, thanks though, it's on Tuesday." Finally, you had gotten that win you were chasing all day.
A/N: oml sorry this took so long, I had no idea where the plot was going but we’re good now so the other chapters won’t take so long.
#kyle broflovski#kyle south park#south park#bebe stevens#eric cartman#kenny mccormick#south park x reader#south park x y/n#stan marsh#wendy testaburger#kyle broflovski angst#kyle broflovski x reader#sp kyle#kyle brovlofski#south park kyle#kyle broflovski fluff#token black#red mcarthur#south park hcs#south park headcanons#south park fanfiction
49 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
