#canadians r just like that I guess | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 9 months

Text

Is It Really That Bad?

Grease is a delightfully corny musical filled with 50s nostalgia (mostly the good kind) and helped shoot the careers of John Travolta and Olivia Newton John to new heights. There’s a little bit of values dissonance here and there, but considering when it was made and what decade it was about, it could honestly be a lot worse. It’s easily one of the most fun and enjoyable musicals ever made, and it should come as no surprise the Library of Congress deemed this film significant enough to add to the National Film Registry. Is it any surprise a film like this had a sequel?

Well, yeah, kind of. Paramount didn’t think the movie was going to be much more than a modest one-off hit when it came out despite the 50s nostalgia of the time, mainly due to the spectacular failure of Columbia’s musical adaptation of Lost Horizon being such a spectacular bomb. Why risk making musicals when it seems they’re on the way out, right? But then Grease unexpectedly became one of the biggest films of 1978, and the execs got little dollar signs in their eyes. Sequel time, baby!

One problem, though: None of the original cast was available. Or, I should say, none of the original cast you’d give a fuck about was available. Travolta and Newton-John were already off to bigger and better things, which is a shame since they were both interested before it took them forever to get a script. Only Didi Conn (Frenchy) and Eddie “Mandark” Deezen (Eugene) were coming back. And, look, I love Dexter’s Lab but that wasn’t going to be made for like twenty years or something, so Eddie wasn’t Travolta-levels of star power. Still, Paramount was dead set on turning Grease into a massive franchise. We’re talking spin-offs, sequels, a TV series, the works!

But then the screenwriter for the original died, and the original director went off to make The Blue Lagoon. Of course, they found great backups! The screenwriter is a Canadian comedian who wrote Airplane II (the less funny one) and the director was the choreographer of the original stage and film versions of Grease! How reassuring! And then basically all of the actors they actually wanted in this didn’t end up getting in. For the male lead they wanted Timothy Hutton, but when that didn’t work out they tested Andy Gibb… who failed. They then went with an unknown, Maxwell Caulfield, and casting an unknown is always a gamble. For the leading lady, Pat Benatar and Debbie Harry were considered before they ended up going with an unknown by the name of Michelle Pfeiffer. And guess what! Those two ended up hating each other.

Oh yeah and the final draft of the script was only finished midway through production, without Frenchy in it despite her actress being there, so they just tossed the scenes they’d filmed into the movie anyway.

The end result was savaged by critics and did not really make enough to warrant the massive franchise Paramount was hoping for. The careers of most of the actors involved were damaged pretty bad, especially Caulfield, though Pfeiffer managed to et out mostly unscathed. Overall, the film was just a mess that these days is relegated to lists of the worst sequels ever. Hell, unless you read lists like that you might be unaware this film even exists, because it’s relatively obscure.

Still, it does have its fans, including Andrew Garfield of all people. It’s something of a cult classic in some circles, so surely there’s something of value to be found here, right? Is Grease 2 really that bad?

THE GOOD

Michelle Pfeiffer is pretty in this.

...No. Really. That’s it.

THE BAD

This film’s biggest problem is just how overexaggerated everyone’s performances are. Like all of the dance numbers feature every single character mugging the camera and just making the most absurd faces and movements, like this is a live action cartoon. And look, I love goofy, campy silliness, but there’s a fine line between corny and trying way too hard and this is firmly in the latter camp. Every single number is just ruined by this insufferable desire to be silly.

The other biggest problem is the songs. All of them suck. All of them are also about sex, and that doubly sucks. None of the lyrics are very clever, but all of them are fucking stupid. This might just be one of the horniest movies ever made, and I mean that as an insult. I’ve watched pornos less obsessed with sex than this film. This is all the more jarring because the first film was just filled to the brim with fun and memorable songs, but here? They’re all forgettable crap with no clear identity.

youtube

Maxwell Caulfield is a terrible leading man, and I say this as someone who has a hard time believing John Travolta is a leading man. At least with Travolta he does exude a sort of movie star quality; Caulfield just feels to me like a cardboard cutout of a person, or an even more wooden Anakin Skywalker than what we got in Attack of the Clones. Caulfield is just an absolute void of charisma, and it’s no wonder Pfeiffer thought he was a stuck up little shit.

IS IT REALLY THAT BAD?

Uh, yeah. It’s fucking bad.

I really wanted to enjoy this. I really did. I love stupid, campy, silly musicals! This should have been perfect for me! And yet it was one of the most tedious, miserable viewing experiences I’ve ever had. I didn’t laugh. I didn’t smile. I was not once charmed or amused by anything I saw onscreen. As a matter of fact, there were times where I just wanted to turn it off because it was just such a slog. The extended cut of Dawn of Justice is a more well-paced and riveting film.

Look, if you like this movie, more power to you. Lord knows there’s plenty of trashy films I absolutely love that many people wouldn’t agree with. But in my opinion, Grease 2 just doesn’t work, and the reason why is because it’s Grease 2. If this film was just its own thing and not trying to coast on the fame of its superior predecessor, maybe I’d be a little more forgiving. But that’s not the world we live in. We live in a world where this film with tenuous connections to the original is allowed to call itself a sequel.

I’m gonna say that score is a little too nice, and this movie deserves something more like a 2. It’s not the worst thing ever and it’s sure to appeal to some folks, but boy is this just plain not a good film in my eyes. It really just feels like it's trying way too hard to be the original, and it's failing miserably at it at every single turn. It is one of the worst movies I've ever watched, but at least it's a bad movie where I can almost see the appeal. It just doesn't appeal to me.

#is it really that bad #review #movie review #Grease #Grease 2 #michelle pfeiffer #maxwell caulfield #musical #movie musical #cult classic #so bad it's good #Youtube

27 notes · View notes

bestygogirl · 3 months

Text

BEST YGO GIRL: REDEMPTION CUP

Match 29

please use this as an opportunity to say why you like a character, not why you don't.

Man seeding tournaments sucks because I want both of these two to win, but if y'all disrespect Aileen again I'm gonna lose my mind.

Propaganda under the cut!

Aileen Rao

She’s both a gamer and a supermodel, an already incredible feat, but she’s also incredibly good at reading her opponents and hypnotism! She’s one of the few opponents in the series to make Yami/Yugi noticeable stressed for… multiple reasons, one involving her pet tiger and Anzu in the next room

she is one of the very few opponents who gets brought back later, and when she does she almost beats Jounochi's ass in human street fighter, a vote for Aileen is a vote for women's wrongs!

please vote for aileen

so if you don't know season 0, kaiba has four game masters he recruits from around the world to duel yugi. Aileen Rao is one of them, which means of all the people in the world, she is one of a very few people that seto freaking kaiba thinks has mad skills

and she does!

she plays this game where players put up pieces and try to guess what the other has played in order to eliminate the opponent's pieces (link explains the game better). Aileen is so good at this game that yami yugi who has a magic necklace legit thinks that she has supernatural powers for most of the game

Aileen has so much charisma that she's assumed to have hypnotic powers, getting anzu to just hold one ballet position for the entirety of her game with yami yugi

also Aileen has a tiger, which is objectively a cool character trait in any fictional media

she's also Indian-Canadian, which I think is neat because we just don't see a lot of south asian characters in ygo

she's one of my favorite yugioh characters ever and my favorite season 0 character

Tilla Mook

Goth girl goth girl goth girl

#best ygo girl poll #redemption cup round 1 #yugioh season 0 #aileen rao #yugioh r #tilla mook

10 notes · View notes

fishklok · 4 months

Note

Hey Fish, I'd like to hear your thoughts on Abigail!

Sexuality Headcanon: Bisexual (seriously need to finish that Amber/Abigail pwp fic)

Gender Headcanon: Cis woman, but I haven't thought about it too much (maybe she hasn't either, idk)

A ship I have with said character: Abigail/Skwisgaar ;;0;;, Abigail/Amber, and I still have a soft spot for Abigail/Charles even though I hc him as gay, Abigail/Magnus in the veerrrry specific context I set up in that old fic I wrote (they bond pre-dsr over their shared frustration with Dethklok, but Abigail sees Magnus as a dark mirror into what she could become if she lets her anger fester, so she bounces)

A BROTP I have with said character: Abigail + Charles + Knubbler (they go on work retreats)

A NOTP I have with said character: Again, I really don't have notps. As long as people aren't weird.

A random headcanon: She's Afro-Caribbean, she's Canadian, she likes noise music, her mother was a classical pianist, she's now in a place in her career where she can insist people use her full last name instead of calling her "Abigail R.", had her first queer experience in a night club in Brussels, she does really hard crosswords because she likes to push herself but she always does them in pencil because there's still a part of her that still has doubts.

General Opinion over said character: Mtl really went off making a woman who I believe someone would tank a career and a life-long friendship for. But in all seriousness, I think she's a fun character. I love how she has a weirdo streak instead of her just coming in as a stale love interest (which she does kinda become unfortunately). Most of my complaints are "I wish she was weirder" or "I wish she had more screentime," so the pieces were there I guess.

7 notes · View notes

sharpestasp · 5 months

Text

Music Meme

List five artists that you listen to multiple albums on. Feel free to expound on any of them.

1. Corey Hart - Most of you are likely only aware of "Sunglasses at Night" though some might remember "Never Surrender".

For me, I listen to his first seven albums damn near on repeat for mental and emotional health. A Canadian Singer-Songwriter, honored a few times in the Canadian music industry, Corey Hart is that strange mix of eclectic phrasings, good music, and different point of view that got me through much of the 90s. I'd been aware of him from his second album in real time, so from the 80s, but actually tracking down all of his then-produced albums and staying on top of it was a balm on my mind.

Is he an amazing songwriter? No. But he's comforting to me, and that's what I needed.

~ Oddball fact - when I bought Celine Dion's Let's Talk About Love, I listened to it BEFORE I read the liner notes. And ID'd BOTH songs Corey Hart had written for the album, without even knowing he'd contributed. ("Miles To Go" and "Where is the Love")

2. Queensryche - So when I was a kid, I hung out at a roller rink ran by metal-heads who may or may not have been hippies at some point, and definitely weren't managing any illegal activities. I was actually unnerved the first time I went to a rink that was A) brightly if gaudily lit and B) playing pop music, because MY roller rink was my formative experience. And they introduced me to Queensryche LONG before "Silent Lucidity" put them in the mainstream, and before my fiancé raved about Operation: MINDCRIME to me.

I came into their works on their second full length album, acquired it and the demo album and the first full-length album, and was always happy to see them on Headbanger's Ball. I still listen to over half their discography, and sometimes just put it on repeat. Even with the split in the band, I will listen to the new albums, and sometimes they still light my heart on fire.

~ Oddball fact - I have seen the band play in three different venue styles. My first was in an Arena (The Promised Land Tour), the second was in a House of Blues where I was damn near at the stage (Operation: Mindcrime II Tour), and in a small theater style (American Soldier Tour). I will say they have the range to adapt to their environment.

3. Nickelback - Another Canadian entry! Like most Americans, it was the Silver Side Up album that hooked me. I actually am not overly fond of the albums prior to it, but I have liked most of the ones after. I know people meme-hate on them as being bland or auto-tuned or too commercial, but guess what? I can fucking sing along with them and enjoy the lyrics. The love songs hit me in my guts. The rockboy badass songs make me smile. Even some of the more sexist sounding ones leave me going 'the woman is coming out on top here'. And well, "Never Again" as well as "Lullaby" just own my soul.

~ Oddball fact - My buddy's band back in NC did a lot of covers. R, who was the singer, flat out said he was never going to keep up with "Animal" and that's okay, because the crowd usually took over. And then we all did jaegerbombs to celebrate the hilarity of it. Second fun fact, my buddy usually passed all the extra bombs my way, knowing (back then) I had a higher constitution for them than R did.

4. Enigma - The first three albums. Loop them, put them on softly, and use them to sleep by or calm my ass down. Not really much else to day on this, because these are ones where the human voice is literally just an instrument in the music for me. I don't sing along, even when I can make out the lyrics, because it is most effective as a whole for me.

~ Oddball fact - when I had it on cassette to listen to, I was usually out like a light by the time the first album hit "Callas Went Away".

5. Sarah McLachlan - OH LOOK another Canadian has appeared. I entered into awareness of her with Fumbling Towards Ecstasy, found her previous albums, and check in on her every now and then when I need a vocalist I love. She has a similar handle on lyrics to Corey Hart -- sometimes it seems like those words should not fit to music and yet. I find myself moved to tears on many tracks, and find the resonance of her voice in just right for me.

~ Oddball fact - I think the first time I saw her on television was Macy's Parade, and it was the song she did for Charlotte's Web, long after I'd begun stalking her music.

Feel free to take the idea and run with it. I might find new music from all of your tastes!

#music #corey hart #queensryche #nickelback #enigma #sarah mclachlan #sarah mcdonald #meme

7 notes · View notes

tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 8 months

Text

Chortle headlines roundup, anyone?

Nope. Nope nope nope nope nope. We're not doing this. Jeremy Hardy went in his late 50s, Paul Sinha's health is deteriorating, if we lose Mark Steel before his time then they'll have to just cancel Radio 4. Not doing that. Fuck that shit. He's only 63, that's younger than my parents. Absolutely not.

...The article does say the condition is treatable and he'll likely be okay after a while, so that's good. It also has some on-brand quotes from him that muse on mortality. Good man. We are not losing that one yet.

(Obviously... not to make a serious issue all about me and other lovers of Radio 4 or anything... I wish a speedy recovery and the best for him and his family and all that.)

I wasn't sure I was going to watch season 3 of this - not that seasons 1 or 2 were bad, but season 2 didn't keep my attention all that well (except when Joe Wilkinson and Jessica Hynes were on), I figured I get the idea and don't really need to see a lot more. But actually, that's quite a good lineup. Roisin Conaty is always funny. Add in Alan Davies, Guz Khan, and Chris McCausland - and yeah, I'll probably give Knockoff Taskmaster a watch again.

You know, I wondered about then when I watched the French and Saunders show. The constant fat jokes about Dawn French seemed okay because she was one of the writers, she was choosing to say it about herself, that makes it okay the same way it is when Jo Brand does it. But still, there really were a lot of them. And obviously comedians are pressured to make any feature about themselves into a USP, so just because she agreed to do the jokes doesn't mean she always wanted to. That show was funny, it's a pity to see this.

(Obligatory note that the headline, like most headlines, is a bit sensationalized, these Chortle headline round-ups are meant to be partly a joke about how the headlines don't really tell you anything and just throw a bunch of disparate facts in your face all at once, and you should really read the articles if you want to know stuff. But the information in the headline is basically accurate.)

The Aussies are coming! The Aussies are coming! With their excessive Rs after vowels and their mildly racist names for coolers!

(I briefly misread the Sam Campbell article's description as calling him a "Taskmaster winner", and had a split second of believing Chortle had somehow made a colossal blunder and accidentally posted a huge spoiler that made me very pleased.)

If they make that, I'll probably watch it. I might watch some of the Irish one because Aisling Bea and Catherine Bohart, even though the worst fucking person in the world is also on it.

I did watch the first two episodes of the Canadian one. Have I admitted that on here yet? It wasn't my finest hour - and it was just one hour, two episodes - when I watched reality TV on Amazon Prime. But Mae Martin was in it. Mae Martin was in it looking focused and intense as they tried not to laugh and for personal reasons I just had to see that. Then (spoiler alert, I guess) they were out after two episodes, so I didn't watch any further.

I have to admit I rather enjoyed it, though. The rest of the cast was also funny. It had Jon Lajoie, guy who made a bunch of funny videos when I was in high school that my friends and I used to quote all the time, then didn't make anything for like 12 years, then came back in 2020 with this absolute earworm that hit the perfect note of what we needed in early pandemic days:

youtube

Anyway, he was on the Canadian LOL show, and he was pretty entertaining. Also Colin Mochrie from Who's Line, which I used to watch as a kid. Tom Green, quite a good stand-up comedian who went to my high school (not at the same time or anything, he's much older than me, he's just the only famous person who ever went to my high school). K Trevor Wilson, aka Squirrly Dan from Letterkenny. Andrew Phung from Kim's Convenience. It was fun seeing the mishmash of Canadian comedy people from all these different things in one room. I guess would be less of a novelty in the UK, since we don't have panel shows here.

And I've got to admit, when I forced the judgmental "there is no logical reason why this is a higher form of entertainment than any other shit reality TV" part of my brain to turn off, I found the format pretty funny. I'd watch Irish people do that. I'd watch British people do it. I mean, I didn't love it enough to finish the show after Mae was gone. But I might go back to it at some point.

Still doing that, are we? Going with the cheeky term "peeing Tom" for men who spy on naked women without their consent? I don't object to Hugh Dennis playing the role obviously, they're not going to portray that as a guy we're supposed to like. Just not sure I love Chortle's word choice.

That's good. Put your minds at ease, people who are worried that Jim Davidson isn't mentoring aspiring comedians. Everything's okay.

I was about to say "Steve, what the fuck would you consider a 5-star show then?", but then I remembered that to be fair to Steve Bennett, the quality of this show does vary wildly depending what night you see it and who's in the audience. Don't turn up to this and derail it with heckles, everyone, even though you're allowed. The show in its proper form is brilliant.

I tried to ignore this one, I really did. But I'm sorry, that's too funny a headline not to include here. Sorry, Johnny. Bad luck.

#Youtube

7 notes · View notes

cambria-writes · 2 years

Text

I haven’t been writing for over two years and I’ve been spending the most of the past 72 hours working on this and like two other fics so like. Please be nice. Also I only proofread this like, maybe twice, so if there are still any mistakes or typos, please let me know! I’m almost done with the next chapter, so if we’re all lucky I’ll be able to post it next week. I figure that a weekly upload schedule should probably be feasible for me. Guess we’ll see! pairing: eddie munsonx reader rating: PG13 for now, each chapter rated individually warnings: there will be hella spoilers for S4, lots of swearing, guns, minor injury and blood, drugs (just weed my dudes), alcohol, reader deserves her own warning actually, use of canadian english is also its own warning word count: 3,323

Previous Next Masterlist

𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝕺𝖓𝖊: ℭ𝔥𝔞𝔯𝔞𝔠𝔱𝔢𝔯 ℭ𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫

March 20th, 1986

It’s annoying, having to wait like this.

Your leg is bouncing under the table and you can’t help but absently pick at the table’s flaking paint. You’d est up to meet after you were off work, which more or less coincided with when he got out of class. Which was apparently a bit earlier than you’d anticipated; you’ve been killing time at this stupid picnic table in the woods for almost half an hour now.

You’re about to cut your losses and prepare an apology call when something catches your eye, further off in the woods. It’s not like it’s eerily quiet; if you pay attention, you can hear squirrel scrambling up trees and birds flying around. But there’s something about that vague almost-shape you saw in the woods... You feel the hairs at the back of your neck rise. That’s probably a bad sign, right? You should probably leave. I should definitely leave.

“Sorry for keeping you wai–”

You shriek and clean fall off the bench with how fast you turn around.

“Fucking shit Ed! God damn warn a girl, holy shit!” You scream, catching your breath and brushing leaves off of you when you stand. “You scared the living hell out of me!”

Eddie raises his hands up in surrender and takes a few steps back. “Woah there, my bad. Didn’t mean to scare you. You alright?”

The genuine concern makes you groan and you drop yourself back onto the bench you’d fallen from. When asked, you were going to lie and say your shifts are work were just getting a bit aggravating, but it was a bit harder to justify being that jumpy.

“Dude, I don’t know. I’ve just been having these nightmares for a while and it’s been freaking me out,” you explain, putting your arms up on the table and resting your head on them. “I’ve been getting shit for sleep and it’s like I’m seeing things.”

“I’m pretty sure drugs are gonna make that worse, not better,” Eddie says slowly, leaning forward on the table after placing his box down. “You wanna, like... talk about it?”

You scoff and turn your head away. There was no way you were going to try and even begin to describe the fucked up shit that’s been playing in Technicolor in your brain the past few weeks. Nevermind the stuff you’re pretty sure was a dream but aren’t entirely convinced about.

Like that time you spotted Harrington and fucking Robin Buckley, of all people, in a movie theater together. Looking and acting absolutely blitzed out. That has to have been some kind of hallucination, because as soon as the movie was over you couldn’t see them anywhere.

Or that time a few years ago when Will Byers went missing and those kids–his friends, probably?–took to the streets like a band of thieves, looking for all the world like they were heading straight for the lab. No one else ever mentioned them or even gave any indication they’d seen a group of prepubescent boys taking up a whole street with their bikes and an ungodly time of night. So you just kind of assume you’d... dreamt it up, or something.

You’ve had weirder dreams.

“I appreciate the offer to be my impromptu therapist, Munson, but I think it’d just make me feel worse,” you eventually answer, sitting back up and running your hands down your face. “I just need whatever you’ve got that can knock me out. Shit you gave me last time barely got me to sleep like, an hour.”

Eddie audibly winces and crosses his arm.

“I hate to say it, but you might be better off with beer.”

You groan theatrically and let your head slam back down on the table. Slam it a few more times for good measure. Eddie hastily shoves his hand under your forehead.

“Hey there, woah, woah! Knock that out!”

“You’re shitting me right? I can’t do this anymore, Ed, I feel like I’ve actively gone insane,” you whine, bringing your hands up to the back of your neck. “You’re my best bet, no way I can see a doctor for this. I’ll get locked up or worse.”

There’s silence for a bit, before you hear the closure for Eddie’s box pop open. You sigh in relief and raise your head, pulling the hair out of your face. He’s not taking anything out, though; he’s putting something back in before closing the box again.

“Wait no, come on–” you start, but Eddie interrupts you with a hand help up.

“Ah, give me a second, I’m getting there,” he says, shoving his other hand in the inner pocket of his leather jacket. The small bag of weed he pulls out looks thoroughly and profoundly unremarkable.

“Dude I literally just said–”

“Have you always been this impatient, woman? Relax, this is from my,” Eddie pauses to clear his throat and leans forward with a grin. “Personal stash. Should be strong enough for you.”

“Are you saying you’ve been selling me baby’s first drugs until now?” You ask, crossing your arms. Eddie places a hand to his chest in mock offense and scoffs.

“I’m shocked and offended you would ever think so lowly of me. I thought we were cool!” You can’t help but at least chuckle at that and put your hands up in defeat.

“No, you’re totally right, my bad. I know you would only provide me with the finest wares. I had a moment of weakness, beg your forgiveness.”

Content with your playing along and the accompanying apology, Eddie pulls out a grinder from the box, rolling papers from a back pocket and gets to rolling. When he doesn’t immediately make a move to start a conversation, you decide to drown out the buzzing in your head yourself.

“How’s the Hellfire campaign going? Aren’t you having the party come up against a lich?” Eddie smirks and nods.

“Yeah, Vecna. They still have no idea though, they all still think he’s just a myth. I can’t wait to see their stupid faces when I tell ‘em he’s still alive when I tell them.”

“They’ll riot, I hope you know,” you laugh lightly, putting your chin in your hand on the table. You’d only sat in on one or two sessions, back when Eddie had been the youngest member of Hellfire. But if the theatrics and hysterics of those sessions were anything to go by, these guys got very emotionally attached to their games and characters.

“They can riot all they want, they’re gonna have to let the dice to the talking for them,” Eddie says, carefully rolling the ground bud into its paper. You open your mouth to say something, but stop yourself when you hear it.

The distant but unmistakable sound of a grandfather clock chiming.

“Ed,” you first say, apparently too quietly for him to hear. “Eddie. Hey, Munson,” you say, faster, tapping your hand on the table to catch his attention. Your eyes, meanwhile, are scanning the pathway you’d both come down for any movement. “Tell me you heard that.”

Eddie freezes and slowly brings his hands down to the table. When he doesn’t move or say anything, you turn back to him. His expression is... upsetting

“Dude no, don’t look at me like that,” you plead, leg bouncing under the table again.

“Depends what you heard,” he replies slowly, bringing the joint back up to his lips so he can seal it.

“I-I don’t know, like the chime of a grandfather clock? That thing they do every hour?”

Eddie shakes his head as he twists the end of the joint before putting it down on the table between you.

“I’m gonna be real with you, I don’t think this is gonna help you. You’re kind of starting to freak me out a bit, and that’s saying something.” Even the attempt at humour can’t really take the edge in his voice you refuse to acknowledge is a hint of fear.

“I’ll take my chances,” you mutter, reaching for the rolled joint with one hand and pulling a zippo lighter from your jacket pocket with the other. Thanks to Eddie’s rolling, it doesn’t take long to light up, and you can take your first actual drag almost right away. Your head already feels clearer by the time you take your second hit.

“Jesus slow down, you’re gonna suffocate,” Eddie cautions, reaching a hand out but not quite reaching you.

“If it knocks me out it knocks me out my guy,” you reply smoothly, blowing the smoke in his direction. You take a third, smaller hit before passing the joint over.

You can’t tell if it’s the weed that made it stop or if it stopped all on its own, but you’re relieved to find you can’t hear the stupid clock chiming anymore.

“...look,” you start, absently picking at the threads of a hole in your pants. “It’s not because I don’t trust you–”

“Hey, no, I get it,” Eddie says, cutting you off, passing you the joint back after a second hit. “No one wants to confide in the town freak, totally–”

It’s your turn to cut him off when you stand and reach over the table to slap him over the head.

“I told you to stop saying that shit, Munson!” You drop back down heavily onto the bench and take what’s maybe a bit too big of a hit from the joint before passing it back over. “I know I’m like, always the first person to say that if you think everyone else is the problem then you’re probably the problem but,” you take a second to cough lightly and clear your throat before continuing. “In this instance I think it’s perfectly justified to say that literally everyone’s an asshole to you for no damn reason.”

“It’s not for no reason,” Eddie replies lightly, and a bit too easily. “I run a cult, my dad’s in jail, I live in the bad part of town–”

“Yeah and none of that is your fault!” You frustratedly stomp at the ground under the table. “Come on! You don’t even actually run a cult. God forbid kids have fun doing shit, right? Jesus christ, don’t take that shit on for yourself!”

The joint burns between Eddie’s fingers and he just... sits there, staring at you like you’ve just confessed to murder.

“What. Why are you looking at me like that? You know I’m right!”

“Well, sure, I know that,” he replies, leaning back a little bit and taking another hit from the joint. “I’m just wondering what’s gotten into you that you’re this...” He gestures at you with both hands. “Whatever this is you are right now.”

“Whatever this is?“ you scoff, crossing your arms. ”Upset? Pissed off?“

“I was going for ‘slightly more unhinged than usual’ but that–yeah that works too.”

You twist your tongue against your teeth. You could probably talk... a little bit, right? You can probably spin it as just a weird run of the mill nightmare thing. Which just happens to involve people you happen to have seen around town when no one else did.

“It’s just...” you start, and when Eddie passes you the rest of the joint back, he leans his elbows on the table and rests his chin in his hands. “I’ve been having nightmares about people dying, man,” you whisper, taking the last hit from the joint before stubbing it out underneath the table.

“Like, people you know people? Or just random dream people?”

“People I know people,” you confirm, resting your head against the table gently, this time. “There’s–man, I really don’t know if I should be telling you this,” you groan, bringing your hands up over your head. “There’s like, your whole Hellfire club there dude. I saw Steve Harrington get like, half eaten alive once, that was fucking miserable.” You take a second to breathe. Thankfully, all Eddie does is fold his hands on the table and let his head rest on them.

“Are Harrington and that Henderson kid close at all?” The question is out of your mouth before you can think much about it. Eddie sits up straight and leave his palms face down on the table. When you look up, he’s got a brow raised at you.

“I guess? When I first picked him up, Henderson couldn’t shut up about him,” Eddie say, exhaling sharply like he’d found something funny. “Still doesn’t shut up about him actua... hey, are you good?”

No, you’re in fact very not good. There’s no way, right? There’s no way that what you saw was real, right? There’s no way there’s a weird blip in the spacetime continuum that let you see Dustin Henderson freaking out over a very bloodied and injured Steve Harrington?

“I think I’m gonna be sick,” You say weakly, turning around and away from the table to put your head between your legs.

“Shit, shit, shit,” Eddie mutters in a panic, and you can hear him trip over himself trying to get around the table do you. “You need a ride home? I can drop you off at the corner or something, you really don’t look too good.”

You wave him off to shut him up for a second, a hand over your mouth, desperately trying to control your breathing. Thinking about this kind of shit on an empty stomach and with a severe sleep deficiency wasn’t the greatest idea.

“I’ll be fine,” you eventually say, though a bit too quietly and not very convincingly. You try again. “I’m good. I just need to sleep.”

“Come on,” Eddie says, waving at you to get up. “I’ll take you home.”

You agree, with burning eyes and lungs that feel too small. You let Eddie help you into his van and close the door behind you. He does you the courtesy of keeping the volume low on whatever radio station he’d had one, and even if it’s not exactly warm out, lets you keep the passenger window down.

“You can drop me in front of my place,” you say, once you’re a few streets away. “My brother plays dungeons and dragons too, so they’re pretty acutely aware it’s not a satanic, baby-sacrificing cult.”

“You sure?” He asks, glancing over at you and gripping the steering wheel a bit tighter. Your attempt at humour clearly didn’t work. “I don’t want to–”

“Just shut up and take me home, damn.”

Eddie still stops three houses away. You notice that he doesn’t leave until you’ve unlocked the door and turned around to wave him off. You think you see him nod before he pulls a u-turn and drives off.

Blessedly, no one’s home yet; your parents are still both up in Canada for some business trip your father needed to do, and your brother likely skipped town to go see his girlfriend for the weekend. Which gives you free access to your dad’s beer stash, entirely obviously hidden in the mini fridge in the basement, behind the old couch your mom’s been promising to reupholster soon.

You still close and lock your bedroom door just in case, after making sure the back and front doors were both locked, chained and deadbolted.

You’re half asleep in bed, trying very hard not to think about the nightmares that have been showing up with undesirably increasing frequency, when you feel it happening. A weird kind of pull that makes you feel weightless for a second, makes your stomach feel like it just up in your throat.

When you open your eyes, everything is dark and thick vines are covering your bedroom window from the outside.

“Shit, no, no no no,” you mutter in a panic, jumping out of bed and running to the window. What you can see through the vines is exactly what you’ve come to expect from this place. Ash falling from the sky, ominous red lightning in the distance. And a damp, cloying cold that makes you feel like you’ll never feel warmth again.

Swearing under your breath, you run down the stairs, through the kitchen, down into the basement and in the far back of your dad’s workshop. Having turned eighteen over a month ago, you’re blessing your lucky stars your dad decided to give you the combination for the gun safe. Nervous fingers keep missing the right digits, but you manage to get the damn thing open after a few tries.

And there it is: the family’s prized Winchester model 23, with several boxes of ammo at the bottom of the safe. You’re clumsy when you loaded up and almost drop the entire open box of shells, but eventually you get the thing locked and loaded. You’re about to head upstairs with just that and the shotgun shells, but turn around and grab the handgun before bounding back up the stairs.

This isn’t entirely unusual by now; you’ve seen this place every time you’ve had nightmares. Being an active participant is new, though. You’ve never been able to move around or touch anything, always a passive observer of goings-on.

It doesn’t sit right with you.

You sit cross-legged in the corner of you room, wedged between a wall and the edge of your desk. You have a clear line of sight to your window–not that you think it matters much with how absolutely covered it is–and your bedroom door, which you’ve pushed your bookcase again. And you wait.

You’re counting your blessings with being able to check your watch for the time, having apparently fallen asleep with it. Ten minutes pass. Fifteen. Twenty. Thirty. You hear things outside, in the distance. Nothing close by. Somehow that puts you on edge even more. Check the time one more time: you’ve been holed up in your room for nearly fourty five minutes now with literally nothing happening.

You lean the shotgun against the wall next to you and get up to pace around your room. This isn’t normal. You screw your eyes shut as hard as you can and try to open them slowly, a trick that usually helps to wake you up. But it’s not good; you’re still in the twisted, decayed-looking version of your room.

Growling in frustration, you go back up to your window to see if you can spot anything out on the streets. But somehow, the vines have covered even more surface and you can barely make out the outside at all. You slam your fist against the window to–

Oh no. Did those vines just move?

Just as you wrap your hand about the Winchester, you feel something wrap around your ankle and pull. You’re winded as soon as you hit the floor, can feel your skull hit the hardwood. Whatever it is starts to drag you towards the door–and ultimately, you assume, down the stairs and out the door–you twist around to see what it is that has you.

And it’s a vine. A fucking vine.

You don’t really think too long or hard about it. Take a deep breath, bring the gun up, aim about two feet beyond the tip of your toes, and pull the trigger.

The gunfire makes your ears ring and feels like it blinds you for a second, but when you look down you can see you’ve successfully shot the vine off. What was around your ankle falls limp to the floor.

“Oh my fucking god, what the fucking hell,” you say to yourself, standing up and looking around. “Where are you? Show yourself!”

Stupid. God what a stupid thing to say.

You bring the shotgun back up and switch between aiming at the window and the door.

Strange, you hear, and it’s both like there’s a voice inside your head and like it’s resonating everywhere all at once. You don’t belong here.

“Fuck you, buddy!” you spit, spinning around wildly in your room. “I didn’t choose to be here!”

Then leave.

Text divider my natasharomanovf

#eddie munson x reader #stranger things #eddie x reader #eddie munson #fanfiction #stranger things fanfiction #fanfic #fix-it fic #dungeons and dragons #fuck the season finale we're retconning the fuck out of shit #mention of drugs #mention of alcohol #guns #vecna #no y/n #second person pov #hey if anyone wants to beta read for me hmu #ravenloft

83 notes · View notes

dirtyvulture · 2 months

Note

😎 I love how I forgot to my little anon sign on the last post but you knew IMMEDIATELY it was me ( making me feel seen and loved 🥰) .

Anywhoooooo I came on to wish everybody a happy ST Patrick’s Day !!!!!!! My family ( on both sides) are Irish and grew up celebrating the holiday. Sadly I have to work tonight but we are having the traditional corn beef and hash dinner. So now I have a couple of thoughts in both the SB and DK universe.

R is Canadian that isn’t up for debate, I don’t know if she has any other ethnicities in her blood. But I think that she had a couple of servants what were from Ireland that she was close to growing up . Mary Morris ( Kit’s mother and the closest thing R had to a loving , nurturing and caring motherly figure R EVER had . R had called her Ma , much like Kit did . People from back in the day and from Ireland typically called their mother Ma , and their father Da ) was from Ireland before she came to the USA ( to what would eventually become Texas) . So R grew up with St Patrick’s day and even celebrities it to this day. Esther Hudson was also Irish so R celebrates it for both her and the Hudson line . In years past she would just dress up in green , go to the bars ( have meaningless hookups) and eat Cornbeff Hash . Now she doesn’t have to be alone as she grabs Kit and they start singing all the Irish songs that Mary ( and R’s Irish servants ) , and later on Esther had taught them and R . They both dress up in green and both going to bars and finally having that traditional dinner.

In the SB universe, I don’t know if SB and their sister Sara would be Irish but they would certainly have fun celebrating it growing up . I can imagine our sweetest golden retriever enjoying celebrating it now as an adult. I can definitely see SB all decked out in green and other ridiculous bits and bobs of the holiday as they go out drinking. Nat definitely rolls her eyes at them but has fun with them , Sara , Yelena and Kate.

Of course I knew it was you :)

This is a late answer, but happy St. Patrick's Day!

Am I the only person who prefers corn beef has over the old-fashioned style? Lol, I am glad to see that R is just like me then I guess 😂

I agree, Sergeant Beef is very big on holidays and enjoys celebrating no matter the occasion. Nat would be less enthusiastic about the celebrations, but she would of course tag along anyway.

#😎 anon #vulture answers #darkest knight au #sergeant beef au

5 notes · View notes

xenosagaepisodeone · 2 years

Text

last year I stumbled across this mcelroy subreddit (it wasn’t the main one, it was one of those r/[media]circlejerk-styled ones where fans are typically more critical of the particular media), and on the front page was this long thread about how hypocritical it is that these social justice friendly guys did a bit where they made fun of a french-canadian name. “it’s so hypocritical because it’s still promoting xenophobia too...but I guess it’s only bad to be xenophobic against some people, huh” “even if they aren’t universally oppressed, it’s still shitty and still punching down” type handwringing. I think that every content creator on earth whose brand isn’t outwardly provocative needs to drop some slurs or an intentionally divisive statement every now and again to remind their viewers that they are ultimately strangers to one another. just like, something to clear the room of the fussy and nitpicky. it’ll be like lighting incense.

37 notes · View notes

dialphone-archived · 1 year

Note

What r the silly little metal dudes like,, *laying down and gayly kicking my feet*

Alright so there's 5 of them in the band dethklok

there's pickles the drummer he's the drummer he's drunk like all of the time except when he's not. his parents are always disappointed in him no matter what he does and his brother uses him for money. he's from wisconsin iirc and tbh at first I thought he was canadian but this is worse.

there's toki I don't remember his last name or if he has one but I'm sure he does. im too lazy to look it up though. he's a rythm guitarist and . well he is the kind of guy to see the good in everyone. characterized to be the more cheerful and "childish" he beat the shit out of someone for screaming into his ears repetitively it was awesome. does not get along well with skwisgaar. he is norwegian i think? he watched his father die.

there's skwisgaar who I know has a last name i just don't know how to spell it. who is iirc the lead guitarist. he pulls major bitches and that's like one of the only things he does. does not get along well with toki. the k is pronounced though in a typical swedish name it wouldn't be. never knew his father and his mother is very well known to sleep around.

there's william murderface who. im going to be honest i don't like this guy. he's very full of himself but like not in a vain way like in a oh I guess I'll just go die since you hate me way. he gets in arguments with everyone on the team and I don't think he's ever had a good idea in his life. notorious for sexual harassment. bass guitar. idr where he's from. his father killed his mother and then himself.

and then there's nathan explosion, pretty deadpan majority of the time. he's the lead singer of the band. never graduated highschool. has a good relationship with his father, doesn't seem to be too fond of his mother. likely to have autism. idr where he is from either. apparently he can speak decent french though which is scary.

#chat.txt #🌟.txt #infodump

8 notes · View notes

if-you-fan-a-fire · 3 years

Photo

“Lend Me Your Ears By R. D. BOUCHETTE,” Vancouver Sun. March 2, 1931. Page 6. --- There's Still Hope - Artistry Re-born - Sir Charles Chaplin - Trouble in Zion --- Those who fall to discern the tiniest gleam of hope for humanity, might pay a visit to the formidable grey fortress, which is the British Columbia penitentiary, on New Westminster's outskirts.

There, under the kindly but watchful eyes of Col. C. E. Edgett, the warden, is going on a process of human rehabilitation, of which we know very little. We, for the most part, are ignorant of it because we cease to interest ourselves in a man once he becomes a number. We forget that if the penitentiary fails to cure that man of his anti-social aliment we shall pay for it.

Warden Edgett's mission is not so much to punish the criminal, as to make him a law-abiding citizen. He does not, however, speak of it as his mission. He says it is the purpose of the Canadian penitentiary system.

***

Facts speak for them selves, and how well Warden Edgett is succeeding in his work is revealed in the figures.

During his two years as "premier" of this limbo state, Col. Edgett has discharged 200 men from New Westminster. Two of them are again behind the highly-polished steel bars. Another two are in Oakalla. Four more are doing time in the United States.

This means that more than 90 per cent have reformed their lives. We know that they have reformed, for if they still followed lives of violence, sooner or later they would be in the hands of the police.

***

Out at New Westminster penitentiary, last week, I saw George Paradise, serving a three-year term for selling narcotic drugs.

I remember speaking to Paradise two years ago at police headquarters, just after he had "beaten the rap" on a drug-possession charge.

"Why don't you quit taking dope?" someone asked him.

"Quit dope?" Paradise laughed bitterly. "You may take a child from its mother. but never will you take the love of that stuff from me."

Paradise was almost boasting. Less than a year later, in Assize Court, he asked the court to send him to the penitentiary so that he might be cured of his lust for drugs.

Paradise was a sign painter and artist. When I saw him at the prison last week he was in the church, paint brush in hand. He had completed a mural design, a background to the altar. He looked quite happy. He has gained about 20 pounds in weight. His eyes are clear.

He glanced proudly at his work. "I haven't done anything like that for 20 years," he said.

Then he showed me toys he had fashioned with his hands. There was a mechanical turtle, an elephant which raised and lowered its trunk when it was moved, several reproductions of Spanish galleons. Last Christmas Paradise made scores of children happy with the toys he constructed.

***

Paradise, now, does not feel that he wishes to retain the love of narcotics. He has never been more content in his life.

"How are things outside?" he asked me.

I said they were "not so good," there was a lot of unemployment.

"I guess I ain't missing much," said he.

In England they are talking about knighting Charlie Chaplin, the prince of pantomime. It strikes me as being a pretty good idea. Surely, if a man deserves a knighthood for brewing beer or distilling whisky or manufacturing soap, it is not unfitting to reward him for creating Iaughter. Compared to some knights I know, Chaplin could handle an earldom very nicely.

***

Mark Hellinger has story for those who "like their irony served piping hot." It is about a Jewish real estate man who, in boom years, built three very white apartment houses in New York.

Along came the depression and our real estate man found himself with three very large and very white elephants camped upon his bank account.

The sad part of it is that he cannot live in any of the apartments himself. They are restricted against Jews.

#vancouver #new westminster #british columbia penitentiary #coercive rehabilitation #rehabilitation #life inside #sentenced to the penitentiary #reformation #dope addict #illegal possession of narcotics #charlie chaplain #antisemitism #great depression in canada #crime and punishment in canada #history of crime and punishment in canada #prisoner autobiography

3 notes · View notes

twinhood-2dot0 · 1 year

Text

Spotify's Top Tracks, Analyzed (To the best of my abilities, that being, programmatically, and not lyrical, because I'm not a songwriter)

Good morning Alex, I’m delivering on the promise I made last week (was that a promise? I think I just stated it, anyways). Yeah there’s nothing much to preface, I’m just gonna go straight to the data.

Audio Features

Spotify’s API provides a few details on tracks, namely in the context of this post, danceability, energy, valence (How “happy” a track is purely based on the music I assume, I don’t think lyrics are factored). You’ll notice the graphs contain acousticness and instrumentalness, however that data is not accurate, it’s sometimes 0 and sometimes a very low number which does not accurately reflect the track (the features range from 0 to 1).

Songs above 500 Million streams

So, apparently, top songs are on average pretty danceable and energetic but not overly, and happiness seem to be almost balanced.

Top 50 Songs right now (actually, a few days ago, but the calculation takes time and tends to fail midway sometimes so I am not going through that ordeal again)

Seems like it’s pretty much the same, except sadness slightly wins out this time, I guess we Gen Zs really are a depressed generation.

Over The Years

2017 was apparently the best year for music. I would have thought 2013 or 2014, but that’s cuz I’m an EDM gal and all the bops came out in 2013-15.

Decades

2010s wins by a considerable margin, obviously, but 2020s somehow has more than the 2000s??? I probably shouldn’t be surprised but it’s only been 3 years (yeah, apparently 3 years have passed. Doctor Manhattan probably just decided to delete 3 years like he did with the DCU, I refuse to believe it’s been three years) so you get why I am.

Keys

Probably less interesting but the most popular keys are, in order, C Major, C# major and minor, and F# minor. I find it kinda funny that the most basic scale is the most common. Also, take this with a grain of salt, Spotify can be inaccurate, I forgot to factor in confidence because I’m no therapist smh Spotify can get their self confidence issues sorted out elsewhere.

Genres

500M+

This one’s kinda predictable I guess, but do not ask me what trap and post-teen pop is. I know trap is EDM but it’s kinda not my EDM. Also, get this, the most popular country is Canada, by a huge margin. There are 51 Canadian pop artist, while the runner up UK Dance has 18. I didn’t know Canada was so big, off the top of my head I can only name Justin Bieber and The Weeknd. Also, the next region is Toronto rap lmao

Top 50 RN

Yeah I have no idea what these are.

Mine because I’m self obsessed

I added a “pop not edm” category because a large amount of the EDM artists I listen to are also pop so pop becomes my top genre :/ My top country is Sweden :P obviously. I can’t for the life of me tell you where the R&B came from. I don’t even know what that genre is (Oh okay I googled and apparently Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston are R&B).

Finally, the Artists

Not the most popular, just the artists with the most tracks in the top 682.

Nothing too special here sadly, it’s just everyone you’d expect. I’ve never heard a song by Drake but he’s always #1 or #2 on monthly listeners so :P and here’s mine for good measure

I'm dumb and I forgor to include the words charts, so I'm editing this in now

"The" is obviously the most common word, most common noun is also obviously, love. I also included two word combinations, and the most common turned out to be "let me", albeit with only 4 appearances. Tying for second are "like you", "can't stop", "what you", "the middle", "save your" "your tears" and "gimme! gimme!" which is because of ABBA's "Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Man after Midnight), and Save Your Tears appears thrice, one being the original track by The Weekend, and 2 remixes with Ariana Grande which seem to be identical, I'm not brave enough to subject my ears to both of them, but they're both 3:11 minutes so I'm gonna assume they're exactly the same.

You can find my horrendous code and JSON for all the compiled data in this Github repo

Byeeeeee

I thought this was a more interesting topic than it is :P sorry, anyways, see you on thursday, buh-bye - Alia

#spotify #music #pop music #coding #python #new music #statistics #dataanalysis

4 notes · View notes