#can you tell this is the second time ive ever wrote a kiss scene
Note
Humbly begging for Donna and a reader who’s a Frankenstein’s Monster, though I guess in this case it’d be more along the lines of Heisenberg’s or Dimitrescu’s Monster.
Ok so- is it still a Frankenstein monster if they remember some of their human past? If not whoops- idk I never really read or watched anything Frankenstein so my knowledge on him isn't a lot- I can't remember if he was fully made of human parts or some was from his actual body-
All I know is- he hates fire- made up of dead people- anger issues and in some movies he wants to be human? Or something idk
So if you want me to redo this tell me!
Warning(s): slight body horror since reader is based of of a Frankenstein like creature??, blood; but overall fluff at some point. Suggestive? At a couple points? Idk flirty? Angsty a bit though so sorry-! Angie curses again cause it's funny to me
Donna Beneviento x Frankenstein-like! Reader: New Beginning
It hurt.
Everything hurts-
Your mind, body, and whatever the fuck is coming out of your mouth. The gurgling noises as you spit- something out
The color familiar yet not.
You felt hungry
...What's happening...? Why does everything hurt so bad
Why did something feel missing?
Who did this to you?
Why?
Why you?
"Well look at this."
Who even are you?
A bang caught your attention from above you. Curling into yourself all you smelled was smoke. Heavy footsteps headed your way. You ignored the other odd noises and focused on the new person on the room- your instincts telling you to run. But you didn't
You stayed.
"Now. What the hell happened to you?" A rough voice spoke again- Looking aroung the bloodied ground- a couple limbs thrown as if ripped off someone. The figure got close enough to you- Crouching down they threw their cigarette down crushing it under their boot. You opened your mouth in an attempt to speak.
All that came out was a growl
"HAH. Sorry guess I should've expected that." Looking up you watched the man rub his beard in thought- who was he? Why do you feel the need to run from him? "They all lose that ability when.. well" gesturing to you he sighed "you know."
"Ga...w.." your mouth attempted to speak the words yet couldn't come out properly. He watched patiently as you came to terms with it. "H..Hu-man?" The words sounded strange from your mouth. The voice unfamiliar even to yourself.
"Well shit. You can speak can't you?"
Nodding your head shakily- you sat up to look at him closely. His features familiar. Name something you knew very well. But couldn't recall.
"Not well but much better at least." He fell silent once again. Staring at you- a minute passed or maybe more. Time wasn't important anymore at this point. You're already dead.
Wait.. are you dead? Blinking slowly like a cat would- you tilted your head to the side. Moving your shaking hand to your chest to feel a heartbeat. The man watched you closely as you did. Feeling around you took a moment before feeling for the beat.
There was none.
"How about this. You come with me and I'll help you."
His voice. Familiar. What was his name? Why can't you remember?
Holding his hand out to you to grab a voice deep in the back of your mind urged you to not take it. You ignored it. Taking his hand he smirked. The same smirk you remember seeing on the painting in the church. The same one your in.
"Good choice." He spoke pulling you up. Patting your shoulder the familiar heavy hammer on his shoulder finally caught your attention. Your eyes widden- you remembered.
His names-
"I'm Lord Heisenberg."
-
Laying on a cold table- Heisenberg placed your remaining mangled limbs onto the side strapping them down tightly. Didn't matter how tight it was- you couldn't feel it.
"Now don't worry" he spoke roughly- pulling a cart of metal and dismembered dead limbs- lining it up beside him he gave a hum. "This will only hurt alot"
"Bite this. Don't wanna lose that tongue" putting a belt into your mouth you bit down- he waited a minite before pulling a scalpel be made the first cut-
You screamed.
-
Months of working paid off. You seemed more human in a way- more then you once were- you couldn't feel the pain as much as before but it was still there. Like a old feeling of reminisces but for pain. Your limbs enhanced to function easier without the chance of the joints failing like its done in the past. Breaking like it has before.
It was perfect- but different. The stitches and metal pocking out of you in the mirror showed you otherwise. The parts that wasnt yours before felt- off and weird. If not for the mirror you'd have no idea what you looked like.
Not anymore- it was like a stranger in your body- but your ok with it. It's much better then what you'd have to deal with. Even if it was a short time.
"The metal will have to settle more. The dead meat is too tough for it to function without you limping." Heisenberg spoke the first time- dispite being unable to speak more then a couple words- he knew what you were curious about. Glancing up from his paper he sighed "it won't be as bad in a little bit."
"You'll walk properly again soon. Give it time"
And wait you did. It took another month until you could walk again properly with the new metal in them- the new limbs stitched together in such a way it tightened and pulled when you moved thankfully it was not as painful as it was before. It took another month to bend them without the noise it would make(still did just not as loud.)
Your hands were another deal. The joints work well surprisingly well. Unlike your legs which Heisenberg theorized it could've been from the breaks in them before you.. turned. The sharp claws added to the discolorization up to your elbows. Your whole body turned to a sick Grey color while your hands and the veins leading up to the elbows looked like a tar. The darkened veined from the burns you suffered grew more clear.
You insisted on wearing gloved to cover them up. But even that couldn't hide the claws. The indents from them breaking the gloves no matter how much you tried.
You stuck with black gloves because of that.
Your face wasn't much different. Minus the glowing eyes. And the stitching next to your check leading from your eye to the bottom of your jaw from some foreign injury you can't seem to remember- it was still your face. Just different.
Minus the teeth. They weren't human- to ragged and sharp to be considered human teeth.
You still looked like you. At least that's what you liked to think.
The strength you held was an issue for the both of you. Heisenberg refused to let you touch anything without his help since you broke his metal bars- a problem for you cause now you can't touch anything. No matter how much you wanted to.
And you wanted to.
The first time you didn't shake when lifting your arms- You were happy. The first thing you did was attampt to drink tea by yourself- you held it too and broke it without lifting it to drink. You waited weeks before your ability to hold back your strength got better. You didn't break anything you touched right away anymore. But you still couldn't touch anything fragile.
"OK get up." Heisenberg spoke shaking you awake. Blinking slowly at him- you looked at him silently " I'm taking you to help with your.. gentle shit" gesturing to all of you with a wave of his hand
Looking at him blankly he rolled his eyes turning to wait for you to stand and dress "its not like I can help with that. I'm not gentle."
"And I can't have you mopping about. I see the way you want to touch those flowers. Wilted or not. Touch those animals but refuse to." Heisenberg spoke slowly to make sure you understood what he was saying more clearer. "I.. I know someone who can help you with that. Be helpful in ways I can't." Once the shuffling was over he turned to face you again. His face neutral- yet a hint of hesitation
"I can help you physically. Fix your body as much as I can but she can help where it really counts. The inside"
It all became clear.
You were being sent to someone else to help you- and by the sounds of it he won't be staying with you.
The feeling you felt with that was- weird. Sad and unfamiliar. You couldn't decide if the thing you felt was sad cause your helper- creator-? wasn't coming with or it was the fact you had to interact with a new person.
Something you haven't done since it first happened.
The bond you had with Heisenberg was weird to say the least. He wasn't bad like how you remembered him being. He was... awkward. But kind in his own way. Even more so since you had a will of your own.
He was always there for you when it mattered though.
Like when you tried to eat a metal screw thinking it was food- he stopped you and guided you to eat something else. Or the time you spoke your first word without a stutter- he made it a big thing because to you-it was a big thing.
"Hey" breaking you out of your thoughts he looked at you silently.
"You will be fine. She's nice"
-
The ride to wherever was a little long- the time spent in the Carrier was him checking that you had everything you needed. Going over the usual rules.
Be careful and listen to her.
And don't break the dolls.
It was easy rules to follow- something you can do without much trouble. Being compliant was easy- actually following through with stuff is harder for you. But you can manage- if this mysterious woman is someone he trusts- you will trust her as well.
"..hey you uh.. ok?" Heisenberg spoke not as awkwardly as he used to be- when he attempted to be gentle with you- he knows you need gentle. "This is your first time leaving the factory. I'll understand if your upset" watching you shake your head he sighed softly "use your words"
"..No. Am fine" slowly the words came out awkwardly but the pain in your throat was as it always was.
Unbearable.
-
It took at least 25 minutes to get to some misty place- looking out the small window of the door you stared in wonder- the trees looked dark yet light from the moon peaking in from the mist- the dolls hanging was an odd touch but you chalked it up to some decoration thing. Passing a bump in the road you saw some graves- your face grimmed at the reminder. Of what you missed-
"OK come on. Where here" Heisenberg called out breaking you from your thoughts. Looking over at him when the Carrier came to a stop he opened the door a hand out for you "Come on. Don't want to keep them waiting" taking his hand- he helped you out. He allowed you to cling to his jacket to help your nerves. This was all new and he knew it.
He slowly helped you to the door- looking at you for a moment before knocking. Automatically the door opened he stepped in with you and closed it.
A woman wearing a long black dressed with a black veil stood the middle of the room- her hands placed infront of her in a stiff manner- a doll that looked to be wearing a bride dress sat beside her- it looked like it was staring at the way you held Heisenberg's sleeve tightly- it was unnerving.
"This is the person I was telling you about" Heisenberg spoke roughly- like he did when you first met him- like he didn't care how his voice sounded to someone else- yet a hint of comfort behind it- as if the person meant something to him- in a way.
"This is Y/N"
"And this. This is Donna Beneviento. One of the other lords I told you about" Heisenberg spoke slowly- to make sure you could catch the words properly- the sound of his slow voice the woman turned to face him faster then you saw her move a second ago. Like she was caught of guard "She's going to help you. Remember I told you that"
He turned to face the woman. Thinking to himself. "Can we talk real quick Donna." Nodding her head he turned to you
"Stay here" you let go of his sleeve so he could leave.
Heisenberg left you with the odd looking doll while the veiled woman trailed after him into another room. Looking back down at the doll at your feet you blinked slowly at it- unsure of how it got so close or what to do now.
"Aren't ya gonna say anything?"
Blinking confused you furrowed your eyebrows looking around the room for the voice you were alone minus the doll. Pulling your pants you looked down- the doll was moving?
"Hey down here" kneeling down to face her properly the doll cackled loudly causing you to flinch a bit. "Names Angie. Your uh... hm" taping her finger to the side of her head in thought "Oh! Y/N! Right. Totally didn't forget about that" Angie spoke facing you again.
"..Doll?"
"Yes Captain Obvious. I am a doll" Angie spoke sarcastically- if she had the ability to move her eyes or had eyelids she's be rolling them. She fell silent for a moment as if something took over her before snapping out it. "Sorry..." Mumbling she looked like a toddler that was just scolding for doing something she shouldn't have.
Heisenberg and the woman came back into the room a minute later. Standing up straight you watched as Heisenberg went towards you. Placing a hand on your shoulder
"Well I'll be off now." Noticing the sad look on your face "now don't be like that. I told you already. She's nice" patting you on the Arm he sigged "I already told her don't worry. She knows talking isn't something you can do very well yet."
"... I'll check in on you once a month." And with that he was gone.
Leaving you with the woman you forgot the name of and Angie the doll.
Silence filled the room- turning to face the two in silence you studied the woman infront of you as she did the same.
"Call me Donna" a soft voice called out from the veiled woman- it sounded unused for sometime- you were glad your hearing was way better then it used to or you may have missed it
-
The months that followed started off slow. The friendship between you and Donna- she along with Angie would do the talking mostly. Angie mostly. Donna would ask you how your morning was- ease you into small easy conversations patiently waiting for your response even if it took a while giving the missuse of your own fixed throat.
Angie on the other hand- would bombard you with questions and other words you couldn't make sense of- but she never asked anything other then a yes or no questions yet- dispite your physical warnings Angie loved to dangle from your neck or arms- always loved to way you rushed to a table for her to proper stand to get off-
She never did.
She'd continue to cling to you like a Koala to a tree until Donna would come to take her off of you herself- then she'd hiss like a cat each time when it'd happen. You were just glad dispite her clinging to you- Angie she'd be gentle with the stitching- never touching them more then necessary
-
Talking lessons got easier to do because of how patient they both were. How the lessons started slow- then slowly got harder. They'd always encourage you into saying the words you wanted even when you failed to form a proper sentence- they'd congratulate you- something told you if it was anyone else Angie would cackle loudly at them because of it.
Writing on the other hand took a bit longer giving how harshly you'd hold the pencil. Breaking it each time. Huffing from another break- Donna looked over at you struggling for a moment
"Here" Donna spoke reaching out to your hand- you allowed her to gently pull your fingers a bit from the pencil to hold it more softly yet firmly so it wouldn't fall "like this" she showed you with her own waiting until you grabbed a new none broken one to try again.
Once you did finally hold it with it breaking she nodded her head- smiling under her veil. "Like that" standing up she turned to Angie "now I'm going to go back to this commission. Be good Angie" Donna spoke nodding in your direction again before she left
Humming from the doll was heard as she drew into the paper hurriedly-you on the other hand did the same thing but slow and awkward like it was your first time holding a pencil.
And it was. Technically.
Writing into the book crookedly Angie glanced over humming "Oh like this!" Turning her book around she showed you how she wrote inside the two lines- blinking slowly you nodded leaning over to mimic what she did- once you finished Angie jumped onto the table "CONGRATS! You know what this means-?" Tilting your head to the side again she cackled
"You get a cookie! Come on! Follow me"
It's been quiet in the living room. Too quiet. Donna looked up at the clock and thought- there hasn't been a noise for the past minute. Suspicious. Raising from her seat she set the needle down before turning to go into the room.
Her suspicion was correct neither of you were in the room. Huffing she glanced around before hearing the attempted whispers from Angie in the kitchen. Slowly she walked towards it. She watched silently as you knelt down beside Angie
"Come on you big log. Just pick me up I'll get it and bam! Cookie" Angie stated as if it was the most obvious plan "foul proof. Donna won't know" moving to pick her up you stopped- Donna watched as you furrowed your eyebrows in thought- she didn't move. She stayed still even when you did get the confidence to pick Angie up gently, in a soft way. Smiling she backed away.
Donna never saw you both steal a cookie that night.
Or the next morning.
-
"C-.. cookie" you mumbled for the first time beaming in happiness once you said the word. Donna looked over from her tea humming in question- pointing up towards the jar you spoke again "cookie?" You spoke awkwardly.
"Go ahead. But thats the last one until dessert" Donna spoke softly watching as you turned and grabbed the jar. You've come along way from how you were when you first met. Your speech is getting better too which is good. Donna can't wait go see how far you go- she smiles at the thought. Going back until a tap on the table beside her caught her attention looking up she saw you holding a cookie out to her
"Yes? I said you can have one" Donna confirmed turning to face you properly- growing confused once you shook your head.
"Yours" nudging the cookie towards her. Placing a hand out towards you- she grabbed the cookie silently before staring at it.
"Thank you"
You smiled making her breath stop. No. This isn't good- Donna's face flushed underneath her veil. That damn smile of yours- that kind smile she fell for.
..fell for?
What the hell?
Where did that come from? She wasn't supposed to fall for you- she couldn't. Wouldn't she didn't deserve that. The kind person you were stumped her- how could she fall for you? The gentle nature of who you are would be tainted by the monster she is- the cruel irony of the situation- the ability she possessed and had done to people she's cared about before- she would do the same for you.
She would hurt you. It was a miracle she hasn't done so yet.
"Donna?" A soft voice brought her back to the present. Looking away from the cookie to you- the concerned look on your face brought heat to her face- flustered she cleared her throat
"Hm? Oh sorry" clearing her throat again "I got lost in thought there" smiling under her veil- she was glad it was there or you'd see her red face
Angie gaged teasingly in the background at the two of you
-
You felt weird the last couple weeks. You knew what this feeling was- you felt it before. But that was when you were alive- not.. not whatever you are now. It was a before feeling- something you expressed once you gained the confidence to do so.
Now your not sure you can.
"Come on now. It'll be fine." Heisenberg spoke on one of your weekly walks together. He walked side by side with you. Signature cigarette no where to be seen.
"No. It can't work."
She is alive.
You are not.
That's what you came to the conclusion too- it wouldn't be fair to her. Be fair to love her while your not human. You were never ashamed of what you became but in some ways. Like this. Your ashamed. Ashamed of what you can't give her.
Like this.
You wish you were really human.
You wished you could openly admit to yourself on your feelings vocally- not just think it. Think of the impossible. Of romantic walks with her- holding hands in a romantic way with her. Kissing her. Loving her. It's such a normal feeling no one can help but you felt selfish for it.
Your inlove with Donna Beneviento and you know you can never ever tell her. No matter how much you wanted to.
"Just tell her" Heisenberg spoke already knowing the answer "it's better to know for sure. And hey- if it works I know one thing for sure" giving him a confused look he grinned
"I know you'll treat her right"
-
You never outwardly stated you were trying to court Donna- nor did you really notice you were exactly doing so.
Donna didn't either but she assumed what you did was friend thing.
Angie hated it. She sat watching the two of you flirting- and neither of you realized you were? You were holding hands for fucks sake. And Donna was referring to you as those annoyingly cute nicknames every now and again.
Why don't you two just kiss already.
Angie froze. She had an idea
-
It took weeks to somewhat beg Donna to take the three of you down to the dock- but in the end it will be worth it- at least that's what Angie thought. She had the whole thing planned. She just needed the perfect time to strike.
It was a warm day- the three of you sat at the docks for some lunch.
The two of you spoke of things Angie didn't care to listen. She just wanted the plan to happen already. Angie just needed to be patient.
Something she isn't.
"Angie take that stick out of your mouth. Don't eat that" Donna spoke facing Angie. Grumbling something coherent Angie took it out. The thing covered in small doll like bites before throwing it.
"I wanna look at the fishes." Angie spoke- she ran out of patience. She can't sit and watch- whatever the hells happening between Donna and you. Standing she rushed close to the edge but far enough away to not be spotted if someone was there as well. "Well? You two coming?"
She watched you both stand to go to the edge of the deck. Her plan was in motion.
Angie placed the stick closer to Donna's foot- the romantic idea coming into play. She would fall- you'd catch her and boom you two will kiss. Angie giggled to herself- it's foil proof. Nothing will go wrong.
Until it did go wrong.
Donna took a step back- turning her foot slid underneath- gasping loudly- you turned without a second thought grabing her arm you pulled her towards you before she fell- you held Donna there for a moment before you heard it. The sound you never wanted to hear. She hissed in pain. Letting go you jumped back watching Donna rub her arm slowly- in pain. Panic settled in.
You hurt her.
You hurt the woman you love
How could you do such a thing? You started to lose your breath. Breathing hard- panicking. Donna's head shot up sharply- she froze. She took in your panicked state. The way you held your hands close to your chest The terror- the fear. The guilt. "Y/N" she spoke your name slowly. She took a step forward. You took one back. She froze her hand reached out to try to touch yours-
"DON'T."
Your voice shocked you both- you've never risen your voice at her- or anyone before. "Don't touch me. I- I don't what to hurt you again." Donna's heart broke once she heard you. She put her arm back to help comfort you
"You didnt-"
"Yes. I did. Look at your arm. I-" gulping- tears pooled at your eyes. Can you even cry? Were you allowed that after what you did? You needed to leave. Run and hide. Be away from what you did. And so you did.
"I'm sorry"
You ran
-
It took a moment for Donna to snap out of it. Snap out of the shock of you yelling- the flinching away from her to fully realize what really happened. Once it clicked in her head she ran as fast as she could back to the house. Of course you'd freak out. You were always worried of hurting someone- hurting her. Keeping touches at a minimum- only taps or handholding- but you accidentally grabbed her rougher then usual.
Running into the house she went room to room to try and find you. Her nerves were shot. She felt sick to her stomach for not comforting you as soon as she realized what happened.
Room to room. She couldn't find you- tears started to fall. Did you leave her? Because of what you thought you did? Please.
It all started to be a blur- her sight blured from the tears and nausea she felt. Her breath became ragged- uneven.
Where were you?
She ran to her workshop looked head to toe for you.
You weren't there
-
It started off slow. Donna eased you into holding hands to grow more comfortable with touching- to hold someone's hand and not feel like your hurting them. Not that you would purposely
"Like this" Donna spoke softly- reaching over to hold your hand in such a soft way- resting her palm up on hers until she slowly closed her hand over yours- waiting for you to do the same. Brushing her thumb against your hand she watched your face flush- a soft smile appeared on both your faces.
"See? I knew you could do it" she hummed softly as you copied her brushing your thumb against her hand back. Her face red under her veil from the small yet soft interaction
"you won't hurt me"
Yet you did.
You did hurt her- grab her arm- enough for her to hurt. To possibly bruise. Break even if you didn't stop.
Curing up in the corner you sobbed- you could hear her running around calling for you. But you can't. You can't face Donna- not after what you did. Hear her begging for you to come out.
You can't. Not now.
Rubbing your eyes harshly you sobbed- the Grey around the eyes darkened from how harshly you wiped the tears away. Biting your lip from crying out- you didn't want her to find you. Sniffling you listened to figure put where she was.
It was silent.
Looking up- you froze, you saw Donna panting heavily in the doorway- watching you. Possibly judging you from behind her veil- you weren't sure but you wouldn't blame her. Walking towards you slowly to not spook you more then you already were.
"Y/N" Donna called out quietly relief escaping her as if she'd blink and you'd be gone. Kneeling down infront of you she stared silently. "Your ok.." holding her hands out to you- she slowly inched closer to you.
"No- I don't" you stuttered- freaking out. Looking away from Donna you came close to crying again "I don't want to hurt you again"
"You won't"
No hesitation. Donna knew you didn't mean to- it was an accident. Seeing you like this- broke her. She knew how you felt about accidentally hurting her- or anyone. "Don't." Putting her hand up to stop you from talking "Its the truth. I'm not mad or anything."
"You didn't mean it"
You broke. Sobbing into your hands before hands pulled them away from your face- then being pulled into her arms. Resting against Donna's front she held you silently as you sobbed into her. Slowly- you put your hands up to hold her as well. Before you let them drop against her side.
She can forgive you- but you can't.
You want to hold her back- but you can't risk it.
"Its ok" Donna whispered rubbing your back "you didn't mean to. It's ok" she held you as you sobbed- brushing her hands acrossed your back gently she brought them to the top of your head- running her fingers along your scalp as gently as she could- she waited until you were done crying against her to pull you up to look in your face.
"Donna-"
"No." She interrupted stern but kind "you grabbed my arm yes. But it was to help me up- not to hurt me. I am fine. We are fine." Brushing her thumb on your arm- she waited watching you incase you were to object- knowing how stubborn she'd be you stayed silent. It wouldn't be a quick thing to forgive yourself for- but you know deep down- it wasn't your fault.
You just felt like it was. But right here- in Donna's arms you couldn't help but see it her way- how she comforted you on what you did. Even by accident- she'd always forgive you.
Bringing your arms around her waist you pulled her into a hug- she did the same- smiling under her veil as she did.
-
Two weeks have past from that interaction- nothing changed minus Donna holding your hand more often. Snuggling into your side during movie nights(Angie dangling from the top dresser like the weirdo she is), holding your arm on walks more often- like she was making sure you weren't gonna run off or something
The sight infront of you made you stop- Donna stood drinking tea in the kitchen- without her veil. Your face flushed a bit- as you grew more confident to touching her again more often she has been trying to be more comfortable without her veil- something she insisted was fair no matter how much you tried to convince her otherwise
It wasn't the first time you've seen her without her veil- it wasn't going to be the last either- but each time it was like a world wind of emotions hitting you- each time you were almost always caught staring at her face blushing- causing Donna to flush as well. You've grown used to how expressive she is with her hands- but not how expressive her face is.
Everytime she was nervous or excited- she'd bite her lip- just like she does when shes working on the dolls- rare times she allows you in- and without her veil- she'd bite her lip in concentration- a small smile when she finally finished the final stitch- before moving onto the painting.
Dinner was different too- the way she licked her lips when she at something and didn't feel like getting a napkin- always caused you to flustered in your seat- and her smile. It was nothing like you'd ever imagined- it was so much more gorgeous then you dreamed of- how relaxed she got then smiling after- if your heart could beat fast or flutter it would everytime you saw it.
"-ace?"
Blinking you looked at Donna who refused to look at you in the eyes looking to the side shyly- shifting slightly she glanced at you- "is- Is there something on my face-" she repeated nervously biting her lip
"Yes- no- wait-" stumbling over your words you glanced around the room "No- there isn't. I'm sorry I uh- your just very pretty" scratching the back of your neck it was silent for a couple minutes
".. you don't need to lie"
Looking over quickly- Donna had a look of sadness on her face- her hand went up to the mass that took her right eye
"No. Your a beautiful woman Donna" before she could respond you took a step forward slowly towards her "Your scar is gorgeous too. It tells a story. Like all markings on bodies do. And I feel just like your personality- you on the outside are a beautiful woman" you awkwardly spoke- it wasn't something that could make her confidence right away- but maybe one day it will.
Reaching your hands to her face- she allowed you to cradle her face in your hands- you smiled softly- caressing the mutated eye as softly as you could- "you're still the most beautiful woman I've ever laid my eyes on" you spoke without hesitation- Donna's face flushed darkly at the statement- a large grin appeared on her face. Moving forward she hid her face in your neck clinging to your jacket
"Oh- come on now Donna" humming you brought your hands on the small of her back smiling "let me see your beautiful face hun" a sharp breath escaped Donna before a moment she pulled back to look at you shyly. She reached over wrapping her arms around your neck- looking into your eyes she bit her bottom lip gently glancing at yours before looking in your eyes again.
"C-" Donna started- clearing her throat a boost of confidence filled her- "can I kiss you?"
"I'd want nothing more"
She didn't hesitate after getting permission- she brought you close to her brushing her lips against yours gently- pulling back for only a second to get a feel on how to go about it- before she kissed you again. Pouring her love and affection as she can towards you as she did- humming against your mouth sending a vibration causing a noise to escape you- grabing her hips they tightened gently causing her to groan against you. Pulling back Donna rested her forehead against yours- smiling gently at you.
"GOD get a room you two" Angie screeched fake gaging behind Donna- the two of you pulled away flushed but amused
"Maybe I'll kiss them during dinner" Donna thought alot smiling at a gaging Angie who screeched like a rabid animal- running she grabbed Donna's dress pulling it slightly yelling profanities as she did
"NOOO DON'T FUCKING KISS OVER MY SALAD" Angie cursed lowly before freezing under the closed eye smile "...whoops" letting go of her dress Angie took a step back
"Angie."
"NO" Angie yelled running out of the room "NOT THE WATER BOTTLE FUCK IM SORRY- SORRY FOR THAT TOO" With that Angie disappeared
Turning towards you a bashful look appeared on her face "I'm.. sorry about that- I guess Karl taught her one too many curses.. one was more then enough.." Donna mumbled fhe last part. Clearing her throat she looked at you- reaching over to hold your hand "so uh- are we together now-?" Sounding unsure of herself she glanced away shyly
"I'd love nothing more"
#i had an idea for it- and was like#instead of just Heisenburgs creation its BOTH#since its#Frankenstein#oh-#donna talks alot cause they talked about how you needed someone othee then angie teaching you how to speak.#donna beneviento#donna beneviento x reader#resident evil x reader#resident evil#angie had the idea from the little mermaid-#she felt bad after words#can you tell this is the second time ive ever wrote a kiss scene#idk what im doing#i wrote and then proceeded to delete the veil reveal scene since i fucking hated it#i think its ok not to have it this time#the fucking ending gave me whiplash i hate it idk how to end a fic right-#ill just keep going
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You can't just drop that "I read Forces Multiplied" bomb on us and not give a ten page written reaction.
[cracks knuckles] if u insist
nicky cant drive hc: destroyed. rip. also i loved how andy and nile stole those sports cars and were being badass and driving off the bridge & meanwhile joe and nicky were just absolutely vibing in the van
'heres the thing about power: people who have it think they deserve it' [shot of police car] i see u greg
5 whole panels being dedicated to booker not being able to unlock his door. booker not even seeing noriko sitting RIGHT THERE in the window at first. incredible
noriko being 24/7 horny was surprising. like wow all of the stuff i saw she did out of context was 100% equally horny in context as it was out of context. love that for her
i didnt think the 'andy + slavery' thing was handled as badly as everyone made it out to be when telling me about it. tho from the way it was talked about i had kind of figured the conflict between andy and nile re: slavery would be really racially charged (esp considering nile is a black american and would obvs have Thoughts on the subject in that regard) but like,, done in a cringey 'a-white-guy-obviously-wrote-it' kind of way? but it wasnt that. i mean. it makes sense that andy would be implicit in slavery through the years
i mean, like she says, is that not what people just did to each other in the aftermath of battles for thousands of years? and i really like how its pointed out that it was what she was raised with (in the beginning when you see her put shackles on that guy after the battle) but she also accepts responsibility for it and acknowledges that it was wrong and not just 'what people did'.
i like how from her expressions you can kind of tell baby andy knew it was off but she sets those feelings aside bc she felt angry. it explains how she felt but didnt make her out to be blameless in it. plus i mean. i dont know, the fact that andy was involved in a lot of morally shady stuff for 7000 years is not that wild for me. if you live that long youre just Going to be involved in some shit, and she didnt even have other immortals with her as positive community influences, she literally just did whatever the fuck she wanted for thousands of years
'i was worshipped as a god once' i mean, yeah no shit she wouldve been involved in some seriously fucked up stuff, gods were fucking scary back in the day
tldr it could use some polish but it wasnt that bad
tho everything people said about moose being boring was unfortunately a little true. sorry king i tried to be interested in you
joe and nicky writing verbal fanfiction about nile and moose was iconic. 'you seeing that?' 'i am definitely seeing that'
it was also extremely funny bc that was like 60% of their contribution to the whole comic, besides kidnapping copley. they came, they wrote some fanfic, they left. kings. at least in tog1 they had an excuse to be useless bc they got kidnapped
joe just found out his old friend who he thought was dead is alive (and also probably wants to murder them) and instead of investigating with andy he stopped to help nile up. champ.
nicky shooting noriko through andy was cool. rip to the concept since it wont happen in tog2
wanna see mr ejiofor deliver this line
on that note imo copley was. weirdly enough, more interesting in fm than in tog1. to me at least. the fact that andy let him live and he was so haunted by what had happened that he came back and sought them out despite knowing they would likely kill him for it bc he wanted to not only make up for what hed done but also to tell them what theyd done for the world was admittedly more interesting than andy just kind of drafting him to the cause and him going 'okie'
i like how nicky was drawn in this one. in opening fire he looks like a blob man but in fm he looks more like a very nice grampa with a very good dye job
'theres no pain like a broken heart' andy 🥺
noriko implying andy's never drowned. .. .idk about that one, she musta drowned sometime
joe and nicky came, they waxed poetic about nile's love life, they waxed poetic about grog, and then they left.
sports bras being a reason humanity is good. i mean..... okay, yeah.
i mean. wild but you cant exactly tell her shes wrong
i liked how noriko telling andy that their purpose is to make people suffer coincides with joe and nicky finding out that they actually did good all those years
joenicky in opening fire: jail for booker jail for booker for 100 years
joenicky when copley tells them he knows where booker is: WE'LL KILL YOU WHERE IS HE
joenicky when copley comes back: if your vibes come off as even remotely rancid we Will destroy you
joenicky 2 minutes later when copley helped them find booker: he made up some ground :)))) <3 lov you j cops
theyre forgiving af
moose: how old are you?? a hundred??? a thousand???
nile [vine voice]: I M 2 7 ?
alright andy you got me there
joe texts like my aunt
i dont know why noriko drowning andy in that car tickled me. Bad And Naughty Andromaches Get Put In The Pear Wiggler To Atone For Their Crimes.
the drowning sequence was cool
copley trying to talk to andy while she was like o_o at him was great
ive hit the picture limit but id seen that panel where nicky goes 'forgive me' as he kills a guy out of context and it was HILARIOUSLY anticlimactic for me to discover that there was literally no context to it. nicky just apologizes to random people he kills. i thought that guy was someone he knew or something. nope its just Some Guy that nicky didnt know from adam
nile's complaint that andy was especially brutal to the guys on the boat... i mean. . , how exactly does one kill a man with an axe and not be brutal about it?
it was funny how noriko kissed andy and the only people who seemed surprised by that were nile and also andy
nicky and joe's complete non-reaction to finding out noriko is alive And Evil Now is endlesly funny. they just left her on that boat and neither cared. i get book and nile not caring but joe and nicky knew her, and they just have 0 input on the subject of what to do with her
pinstripe suit guy!
joe and nicky and booker packing up and leaving with nile
andy blowing up at nile was A Moment tho
i dont know, i get why people didnt like the ending but its. .. . it makes more sense in the comicverse. bc the squad doesnt really. .. interact outside of jobs? i mean, think of the moon landing story in ttt. that was booker and joe and nicky doing a job and andy only showed up a for a couple minutes after it was done. or the brunch in the first issue of opening fire. the squad arent as tight in the comic, and andy often seems to do her own thing outside of work, so andy saying 'i dont want to do work anymore' and the squad being like 'alright bye then' makes more sense in this universe than the movie one
also i feel like greg was Trying to set up a thing where nile becomes the Leader of The Squad after andy dies but like. its not very well done since. . . i mean, nile hasnt spoken to booker since opening fire, (and she only knew him A Day). and shes known joe and nicky all that time, but there isnt really anything that indicates that they have any relationship at all, much less one that's grown. in all the comicverse the only time nile and nicky speak is in FM, and in that scene nicky tells nile about noriko. nile goes from someone who needs to be set aside to have background knowledge explained to her to being the Leader of the group with nothing in between. it kind of... comes out of nowhere.
on the other hand tho... i felt really bad for andy thru the whole thing. well, i always felt bad for andy, but in this one she seemed so miserable, especially since it really felt like none of the others actually.... cared about her. when noriko came back no one asked andy how she was doing (big question ik, but it wouldve showed they cared at least), nobody ever expressed any concern for her, no one even really seemed to want to be around her. in opening fire everyone was more distant than in the movie of course, but there were little moments where she would joke with joe, or nicky would try and comfort her, or stuff like that, but in FM it really felt like they just didnt really care about her. & in opening fire it felt a lot like andy's relationship with nile breathed some new life into her, but in FM it felt like all they did was argue. i get theyre not *as* close in the comics but it really felt like the only person who cared about andy at all was noriko (which was probably also how andy felt) but it just seemed to come out of nowhere. honestly i was reading and i was honestly agreeing with andy that she might just be better off if she did just die. opening fire, on the other hand, never make me feel that way
tho everyone made it sound like when the squad split up it was one of those cursed 'the found family leaves each other at the end of the journey' tropes. but guys i mean,,, this is the second installment out of three. that isnt the End. theyll come back in the third one and Dramatically Reunite to fight some baddies (probably those 'others' noriko mentioned). im guessing yitzhak fits into that too somehow.
anyways it wasnt That Bad but it made me kind of sad and the only Sweet Found Family vibes in it were when they saved booker. also they shouldve beefed up that nilemoose romance, it underwhelmed me. 6.5/10
i also ABSOLUTELY understand all of greg's comments about how you couldnt make FM directly into a movie, he always said that it had no plot and. i get it now. it really didnt have a plot sdfghjkl
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hey there, stranger. iv
one, two, three
an: as you can tell, i’ve been having a really, really rough time lately. I haven’t been posting, so I hope the length of this chapter makes up for it a little bit. Not including a summary here because you all know what this fic is by now, and if not, the other chapters are linked above! I hope you enjoy this. I have to thank @royaltyofhockeylosers, @thirteenisles, and my potato anon for always being there whether I have to talk about this fic or my personal life!! I love you all and I absolute would not have gotten through the past week or even posted this fic without you!!!! The ending scene of this chapter (you’ll see) is the first part of this fic I thought of, what I basically wrote the rest of the fic around, and honestly one of my favorite scenes ever.
word count: 3.7k
the playlist :)
Two more weeks and countless games passed before Mat was asking about another date.
You were sitting in class, daydreaming about that night- his arm heavy around your shoulders, pulling you into his side, his scent surrounding you, his hoodie swallowing you, the way his hand was big and warm in yours, the way his pretty hazel eyes softened when he looked down at you, the way your heart leapt when he leaned down, his eyes slipping shut for that first kiss… when your phone vibrated.
Handsome maty: hey babe! i don't have practice tomorrow, you wanna do something? ❤
The heart emoji made your own heart beat fast. So you were at that point of the relationship already, huh?
You'd never know, but Mat was terrified to send that text. He typed it out and deleted it multiple times, running his hands through his hair and closing his texts to call Tito and ask for advice. Was it too early for hearts? Would you be scared and run off? Would he sabotage a great thing just by showing you how much he cared? But in the end he remembered.
“I wanna date you. Like, officially. I want it to be us.”
“I want it to be us too.”
And God, he really did.
You wanted to go out with him again, you really, really did, but there was one thing preventing you from doing that. And that one thing preventing you from seeing him was the same thing that got you together in the first place: the Seidenbergs.
Rebecca had called you that morning, joyous and chatting about a mystery date she was going on and how Dennis surprised her. And while you were as overjoyed for her as always and couldn't wait to see the kids again, it sucked that even though the older man was retired from hockey now, his and Mat's schedules seemed to be clashing. Whenever Mat wanted to take you out, the Seids were going out.
You: maty, I really wish i could. But I have to babysit tonight 😥
❤maty: no problem, I can come help! The kids already know me anyway
You didn't expect him to be angry really, but you at least wanted him to be upset. You were expecting the sting of guilt when he responded with that sad, puppy-dog way of his. But what you weren't expecting was the easy compliance he gave. It took a few moments for you to process his message, you were overthinking. These weren't your kids, would Rebecca be okay with you bringing Mat as your boyfriend? Or would that be inappropriate? Then, Mat sent another message.
❤maty: or if this is your way of trying to turn me down easy or hint you don't want to hang, you can just tell me. I promise I won't be upset, babe. But I'll come help if you want?
And that did it for you.
The fact that he thought you didn’t want to hang out was hurting your heart. Maybe you didn’t kiss him the other night, but you didn’t want him to think you were uninterested. Especially when it was quite the opposite. You couldn’t stop thinking about him if you tried. As you sat through boring lectures in class about things you once paid attention to, you found yourself daydreaming. Of how his lips would feel on yours, how soft, and pink they looked. How they parted slightly as he leaned down, his warm breath fanning over your own...
You wanted to kiss him, you really did, but something held you back. Nothing had ever felt wrong with Mat before, but something just felt so strange. It felt off, and you hated it. Maybe it was the fact that it had been so long since you had a real boyfriend, maybe you were scared you wouldn’t be good at kissing after so long, maybe you were scared of this relationship getting too serious, that after that kiss, you’d be too far in and Mat would get tired of you. Maybe you were scared of heartbreak again. Whatever it was, you panicked and drew away. He took it so well, he was sweet and patient and didn’t judge you for wanting to wait. And it just made you fall even more.
God, what you would do to kiss him now.
You: trust me, i really want to see you tonight. but we need to ask rebecca and dennis first
❤maty: done ✔
Usually, all your worries about guys went out the window when you walked in the door to the Seidenberg’s household. You could forget about boyfriends, drama, work and your studies for the night and focus on the little kids that had strangely become like friends to you. But tonight, your anxiety about boys- a certain boy in particular- was spiking. You were going to be spending the evening with Mat. You couldn’t help the way your heart was pounding as you tried to compose yourself in the bathroom before the Seidenburgs left on their date. It wasn’t going to be a long night, the sun was already going down, so you’d probably just put on a movie and then take the kids to bed. You smiled at yourself in the mirror as your mind drifted back to the night of your almost-kiss and how patient and gentle and ready Mat was.
“(Y/N), someone’s here for you!” You heard Rebecca call from the front door. You quickly brushed some flyaway hairs back and took a few breaths to steady yourself.
Mat.
“Yeah, I have a feeling I already know who it is!” You called back with a smile in your voice, opening the bathroom door and making your way to the kitchen. Rebecca and Dennis were standing there, ready to leave and, both smiling like they knew something you didn’t, the door was only cracked slightly and Mat hadn’t yet come inside. Before you could even ask why he was still out in the cold, your matchmaker motioned towards the door.
“He’s waiting.”
You could barely even open the door the whole way before your lips fell open in a little surprised O. "Mat."
"Hey there, babe." There he stood on the doorstep, looking absolutely warm and cozy in all sweats and a hoodie, in those signature white shoes he'd been sporting on every date so far. The cold November wind tossed his hair around and a bright flush painted his cheeks in happiness as he held a bouquet of bright flowers out in front of him. When he saw you trying our best to contain your smile, his face split into a huge grin. And when he smiled, your heart almost leaped out of your chest. "You have no idea how hard it was to find these so late in the year."
"Oh my God, Maty."
"I hope this isn’t too cheesy, but I figured, if we're gonna be together all night, we might as well make it a date, right?"
Your heart fluttered, you wanted to pull him close, kiss him right there, but it wasn't the right time, especially not with the Seidenburgs standing right behind you in the kitchen. You reached out, grabbed his hand, and grinned. "Get in here, you big goof. You’re gonna get a cold."
The Siedenbergs were giving their goodbye kisses to the children when you stepped inside with Mat. And as they left, Rebecca winked at you and glanced back towards Mat, who was chatting with Dennis and beautifully oblivious to your cheeky silent conversation and busying himself with the kids. The second he stepped in the doorway, it seemed, the kids were all over him. "Maty!" They must have missed having him around.
It was obvious they missed having him around, as they were jumping around his legs and rambling about things they’d been up to lately the second they could get to him. And Mat listened intently and with the softest smile, and it was obvious he really loved them too.
The youngest children were talking about their day at school when you took the bouquet of flowers out of Mat’s arms, and suddenly they seemed interested. ‘
“You got flowers?"
"Yeah! Aren’t they pretty? They're from Mat." And suddenly the house burst into little "oooooh"s. Ah, children.
"You got (y/n) flowers??? Do you liiiike her?"
"I do like her." Mat’s eyes found yours and smiled, a hopeful, almost unsure smile as if he was really urging you to feel the same. You weren’t about to go on about your still young relationship in front of children, so you just smiled back.
"Are you best friends?"
"No, more than that."
“Ewww-”
“Alright,” You cut them off, just wanting to stay off the topic of feelings, romance, and relationships. This used to be the place you went to forget about those things, but you couldn’t do that with Mat here. Not that you were upset, you loved having him here, but there was something about talking about your relationship that still made you a little uneasy. And you hated feeling uneasy about him. "Do we have any homework to finish tonight?”
Something twisted in your heart while you watched Mat sit at the kitchen counter and help the kids with their homework. There was something so domestic and warm about these situations that it almost made you nervous. Was it way too early in the relationship to be imagining these things with him? It was so soon, everything was happening so fast, that it scared you. You didn’t want to love again, you didn’t want to hurt again, but everything about Mat made you want to risk it all.
That feeling struck you again as you stood in the kitchen, washing their dishes and watching Mat reading at the table with their little boy as the girls colored. Mat was helping him along softly here and there and giving him a little high five at the end of each page, and even though you absolutely did not want children any time soon- you could barely afford to get by yourself- there's just something about a man that's good with kids. And Mat was great with them, probably because he acted like a kid himself and already knew them well.
"Can we have ice cream?" Mat glanced up at you in amusement to gauge your reaction to the bold statement of the youngest girl.
"Ah, I don't know how your parents would feel about that."
“Pleeeeease!”
“Ice cream, ice cream, please!”
“I think the general consensus is that we all want ice cream.” Mat grinned a stupid little shit-eating grin and the children nodded along with him. “C'mon, Y/N. Don't be a party pooper." You almost couldn’t believe that Mat was gonna betray you like this, but it seemed so like him. Taking risks, living, having fun.
"You're such a child, Mat."
He looked up for a moment with wide, worried eyes, as if really worried you were upset with him, but the smile on your face must have given it away, because he smiled back proudly. "Yeah, I am."
"Alright,” You smiled at the looks of glee around the table, from all three of the kids and even Mat. “We’ll have ice cream, but don't tell your parents." The kids cheered thanks at you and Mat, who was still grinning widely up at you from the table. You couldn’t quite read the expression on his face, but when he stood from where he was to take the ice cream out of the freezer and his arm curled around your waist for a second while the kids weren’t watching, you were so flustered you had to look away with a smile. He made you feel so tingly and warm. “So, what movie are we watching tonight?”
A few hours later, you were sitting on the couch with Mat, battling through your second run of The Little Mermaid while the kids watched and colored and got drowsy.
You and Mat had stretched out under a thick, fluffy blanket, your legs on the sectional and his propped up on the coffee table, which he insisted was okay because he "used to do it all the time". Your head was resting against his bicep, and the moment his arm curled its way around your shoulders, your breath hitched in your throat. And he must have noticed because he glanced down at you with that same gentle question as the other night when he tried to kiss you.
Too much? Too soon?
It might have been too much, you might have panicked a little, but if you were learning anything recently, it was that you needed to take a risk and stop being so scared to get hurt. So you curled further against him, bringing a leg up to bend across his lap and winding your arms around his waist. His hand fell heavily onto your knee, rubbing it and pulling you closer in under the blanket, and his lips quirked up a little at the ends. This was warm, gentle, soft, perfect. Everything around was drowned out, save for the noise of both of your beating hearts pounding against each other, and he reached up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear with pink cheeks.
“Hey there.” His breath fanned across your lips, smelling of the sweet ice cream you’d all been snacking on earlier.
“Hi.”
Your breath hitched in your throat when his hand cupped your cheek, your heart sped up and your cheeks went hot as he furrowed his brows as if considering something.
Please just do it...
🎶"Sha-la-la-la-la-la
My, oh my
Looks like the boy's too shy
Ain't gonna kiss the girl
Sha-la-la-la-la-la
Ain't that sad
It's such a shame, too bad
You're gonna miss the girl"🎶
“(Y/NNNNN).” You snapped up at the sound of your name to see the little boy yawning and rubbing his eyes. Mat swallowed thickly, turning away and refocusing on the movie in front of him, as if he’d even been watching in the first place. “I’m sleepy.”
“Yeah?” You untangled yourself from Mat and stood from your cocoon of comfort under the blanket, despite wanting nothing more than to stay in his arms all night. “Alright, Let’s get you to bed, buddy.”
When you returned to the living room after helping the kids through their nightly routine and tucking them into bed, you found Mat turning off the TV and gathering up the coloring books and dishes to put away. You locked eyes with him, feeling absolutely flustered and wanting to cuddle him. He looked back at you, chewing on his bottom lip as if he had something to say, but he kept silent. It was quiet, but not tense, as you moved around the kitchen. Putting things away and cleaning up and smiling as you bumped into each other. He seemed to open his mouth for a moment, considering his words, but he said nothing, and you couldn't even get the chance to ask him if the two of you could crawl back under the blankets before the front door opened and in walked the Seidenbergs.
Dennis and Rebecca thanked you over and over again, quietly, as the kids were asleep. “I hope Mat behaved himself too.”
“It was like having a fourth kid to look after.”
“Hey, I wasn’t that bad.” He smiled at you across the table, a little secret in his eyes, hinting to the moment on the couch where you’d almost… almost kissed. No one had to know about that. Not yet.
The moment you offered to get an Uber and head home, Mat spoke up softly, grabbing your attention before you could leave. “Hey, my place isn’t too far from here. Let’s go on a walk. We can call you an uber from there?” He spoke almost shyly, giving you a tiny smile, his head cocked to the side and his eyes sparkling with glee, tilting his eyebrow up in question. You only nodded at him, smiling back with matched enthusiasm, and headed out the front door, hand in hand, with the Seidenburgs smiling fondly after you.
Outside, flurries had started coming down, a light dusting of snow beginning to lay in the patches of grass beside you. It was frigid, and even Mat’s hoodie and your own jacket didn’t seem to do much work to protect you. But being pressed against his warm body, your hand in his was so worth it. “Maty, it’s snowing!”
He chuckled at the childlike enthusiasm of your words. “Yeah.”
He watched you with awe as you gazed around at how the snowflakes sparkled in the streetlights. “You know,” you began, squeezing his hand and pulling him back to reality, “I love the snow. I love winter. Everything is so quiet and peaceful. As a kid, you would go to bed one night and wake up the next morning with inches of snow on the ground, without ever realizing anything happened. It happens so quietly, so serenely, so softly, without anyone realizing. It’s a surprise. I love that.”
“Yeah?”
“All the best things happen softly.” There was a moment of silence as the words settled peacefully between you, and Mat pondered your words. “No, that probably sounds dumb.”
“No, that’s beautiful. You could be a poet.” All the best things happen softly. He agreed. Like the way he was falling more and more for you every day, like falling onto a bed of down and soft pillows, like falling into a lover’s waiting arms after a long day, like the warmest embrace of tangled limbs and tickly hair in your face. Like falling in love. “Plus, being cold means cuddling. Like tonight.” He nudged your side teasingly and squeezed you against him. “I liked that.”
“I liked that too.”
“Sorry we couldn’t do something else tonight. I usually don’t make my boyfriends babysit with me so early in the relationship.”
“No problem.” He smiled and tugged you closer into his side. “I love hanging out with those kids. And there’s no place I’d rather be than with you, babe.”
Your face got hot at the pet name. You’d never get used to someone calling you that. It’d been so long. “You’ve gotta be careful calling me babe. I might just fall for you.”
“Huh.” It was barely a whisper, but you heard every word. “Maybe that’s the goal.”
You walked in silence once again, a comfortable, gentle silence, with only the sound of leaves crunching under your shoes and rustling in the breeze, until Mat came to a stop in front of a tall building.
"So, this is my place."
"Yeah?"
"So I should probably call you that Uber…"
"Probably." But Mat made no effort to pull out his phone, his hand stayed still, laced through yours.
The air between your bodies was heavy, not with tension, not with dread, but something much, much softer. Something needy and aching, something that made your cheeks heat up and your hearts beat faster, as you took in the sight of each other. Maybe it was still the idea of being in a relationship again that had you both so flustered, had you both weak in the knees. Maybe you just couldn’t believe you had someone like this. You reached up absentmindedly to tuck a stray lock of Mat’s hair behind his ear, to shake away some of the flurries, giggling softly with him as his hand bumped into yours while reaching up to do the same to you.
“Hey there.”
Mat let out a warm puff of air, a soft sigh, his eyes melting into warm, honey-like pools as he gazed down to you, “Hey.”
“It’s chilly.” You began, but your words were cut off. Cut off by the feeling of a warm palm against your cheek, tilting your head up to meet a pair of lips in a gentle touch. It wasn’t a kiss, not yet, but rather a question. A murmur of hope and a suggestion, a gentle urging to follow him, to dip your toe in and try out the waters, maybe swim with him. And as he began to back up, having asked his question and letting you free to ponder it, your hand unlaced from his and you stretched up on your tiptoes to grasp his cheek. Your hands were small and soft against his cheeks, the tips of your fingers tracing his pretty cheekbones and cupping his jawline and tugging him closer to you, sliding back to the black hair at the back of his neck. A perfect fit. Like yin and yang.
He sighed out against your mouth as you sunk into him, his own lips curling up in a smile as his hands came up to cup you against him in this gentle embrace. Cradling the back of your neck, his fingers chilly and making you shiver as they dipped under your hair.
And when you finally broke apart from what felt like an eternal embrace that had no boundaries, Mat leaned his forehead down against yours, his eyes gentle and sleepy and warm as he gazed into you, and wow, he was so beautiful. He was breathing softly against your lips, as if the kiss had knocked the air from his lungs with its power, no matter how delicate and precious, and each warm puff of air he sighed against your lips made you smile.
“I- uhh,” He laughed sheepishly, reaching his hand up to thread through his hair- a nervous habit you’d realized a while ago. “I kinda forgot to ask if I earned that kiss yet.”
It was your turn to laugh now, sinking back down to your flat feet and leaning up to press a kiss onto his chin. “You did.”
He laughed at your little peck to his chin and pulled you into an embrace, entwining your bodies together and sharing your warmth, not caring who might be able to see you. There it was, he had his kiss. It was better than he'd ever had, better than he could've ever hoped for and better than he ever imagined. And it was with you. Your fingers were combing through his hair, and it was making him sleepy, and he wanted nothing more than to have someone to sleep next to tonight, to watch the snow fall outside his bedroom window from where they lay together in the comfort of his sheets. He wanted the comfort, the coziness, the peace, the softness. And he wanted it with you.
"Well, I hate to ruin the moment," you started, turning to look up at him "But you should probably call that uber soon. Before I freeze to death out here."
"Mhm."
But Mat did nothing, he stayed where he was, gazing down at you and glancing up at his apartment, eyebrows furrowed in thought. "Hey, Mat? Whatcha thinking?" He looked down at you again as you continued to thread your fingers through his dark locks, seeming to have made up his mind about something. With a sigh and a smile, he held your hips and pulled you against him, leaned down, ghosting his lips against yours once more and making your heart pound at the sound of his whisper:
"Stay the night?"
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The Smell Of Truth - VI
Summary: After years being forced to fight in clandestine hybrid ring, Jungkook is now living in shelter, but life remains bad, the place is abusive, and nobody seems to want adopt him. Until one night a pro-hybrid activist group invades the shelter, and a woman in black smelling like truth promises that things will get better, and he decides to follow her wherever she goes.
Pairing: pitbull!Jungkook x human!Reader
Genre: fluff, angst, future smut maybe.
Words: 6751
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Grafic description of food. If you are hungry, eat before you read this. Seriously. AND. Jungkook have a anxiety attack, the description is light and focuses mainly on techniques to control the attack, but be aware if you are sensitive to the topic. Even because I wrote this part to help those who, like me, suffer from chronic anxiety and not to trigger anything :) Be safe.
A/N: Sorry it took too long, my head is messy, and I working on something new, and didn’t ajust myself to it yet.
THIS IS A TRANSITION CHAPTHER! I HAD A HARD TIME TO DEVELOP IT AND I STARTED EVERYTHING AGAIN AT SOME POINT AFTER AN MENTAL BREAKDOWN.
Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III Chapter IV Chapter V - Chapter VII
One month has passed by since Jungkook first moved in. The apartment looks pretty much like his now, little details showing up his presence here and there, like his personal hygiene items in the bathroom, and his pairs of shoe in the shoe cabinet by the front door, the air filled with his favorite music which he discovered himself on spotify and youtube, the kitchen cabinets and the fridge are full of things you wouldn't normally buy but he would, and all of your streaming accounts now have two user profiles.
At first Jungkook didn't think about it too much, you're just so welcoming to him, but he started paying attention to how he should or could or couldn't act to not bother you, since his presence itself is a big change in your routine. You made it very clear, even without saying it out loud with all the words, that this attitude was something mutual so that the two of you could live well together.
Still, it wasn't a good first month... not that it was a bad one either, because it wasn't. It's just that...
________________________________________________________________________________________
First of all.
In the first ten days everything was taken and shaped by the boyfriend phenomenon. Said name for this unfortunate situation involving Jackson was given by Jungkook's therapist in the first appointment, but we'll talk about this later. Basically all your attention and time were totally directed to your boyfriend during the whole period that he was in the city, and even though he preferred to stay in his own apartment instead of with you - as is usual the two of you - it looked like he had moved in, because when Jungkook wake up in the morning he is already there, in the living room monopolizing the tv, and when he was going to sleep at night, Jungkook could still hear the guy making you laugh in the kitchen.
This was justified with a "Soon I have to go back to the capital to work and we will be apart from each other for a long time. We need to make up for it!" And after saying that, Jackson would pull you around the waist to kiss you on the temple, and you would just smile, avoiding eye contact with your face red.
At the end of that time, Jungkook got closer to your friends - now his friends too - than to you, who live with him.
Of course you tried not to leave him feeling isolated, after all Jungkook is the exception of your heart, and although you are not used to it, you have a huge affection for him... hard to explain. You did everything you could to try to make him feel comfortable around Jackson - since early on you noticed Jungkook's reservation about him - including him in the conversations and also taking time just for the two of you. But it was difficult, because besides your boyfriend, the weather closed for days canceling all picnic and park plans, an you still had two jobs to deal with, and one of them - that of the law firm - was almost abusive as much work you had to do. Jungkook noticed your exhaustion and wanted not to charge you too much, but at the same time he didn't want to give up lying on the couch with you to watch a movie late at night to receive a pet on his hair.
One night, after Jackson was gone to his apartment, the two of you were doing just that. A blanket covered the two of you on the couch, keeping you warm while a cartoon played on the TV. Jungkook's head was lying on your chest, and you lazily messed with his hair. He could hear your heartbeat, and your voice vibrate as you laugh and comment on the episode. After a while your hand stopped and there was only the sound of your heart, and he saw that you had fallen asleep.
"Y/N?" He whispered to you, getting no response. He thought that you weren't in the most comfortable of positions, with a slightly bent neck on the pillow, so he considered taking you to your room to let you sleep better... He was sleepy too. He thought about it so much, looking at you sleeping, trying to decide, that he slept above you.
Can't tell how much time has passed, probably not much, but Jungkook was even dreaming when the front door click opening broke his slumber slightly, he wasn't awake yet, but he was listening to the steps of someone walking around the apartment. It was Jackson looking for his phone he forgot. If it weren't for the TV on, he wouldn't have seen you two sleeping on the couch in the dark room, when he went to turn it off he came across the lovely scene of you two unconscious and piled up with pillows and Jungkook's stuffed bunny.
After he took a picture with your phone, he went on picking you up to get you to bed, carefully taking Jungkook's arm out of your waist and pushing him aside. Needless to say, Jackson was unaware that the hybrid's protective instincts are strongest when he sleeps. You had your reasons for not telling your boyfriend about Jungkook 's past, like respecting Jungkook's privacy and feelings, and well, maybe Jackson wouldn't like knowing how you got hurt days ago, and that problem you didn't want to have to deal with. Still, maybe some little thing you should have said.
You woke up in a jump, by a scream, and a loud growl followed by a "no" that sounded more like a bark. For Jungkook, in the first few seconds, all he knew was that someone was trying to get you out of him, and never that he was going to let it happen. Jackson threw himself back against the coffee table, withdrawing his hand so as not to be bitten, feeling his heart in his throat in the greatest fright he has ever had in his life.
"JK?" You seated up.
Jungkook looked from you to Jackson, understanding what he did, his ears flatting down on his head. His fists were clenched, holding the fabric of your shirt as if his life depended on it. The other night he hurt you, Jungook felt guilty, and afraid that you would stop loving him, now in the presence of a man, he was also afraid of the punishment that he was sure would come.
"Sorry..." He muttered. "I didn't mean to... Y/N I'm sorry..."
You let a relaxed laugh get out your mouth. The situation wasn't funny to you. Actually, you could see how apprehensive Jungkook was, and deduce why. On the other hand, Jackson was frightened, and not only by the jump scare, you could see he was overthinking... What you needed to do was to relax the tension of the situation, and for that you would make them see that you are relaxed. Again, you are a good actress when you need to.
"No need to apologize, JK. He scared you, didn't he?" You laugh, and then you give Jackson a mocking glare. "And you almost shit yourself..."
Jackson looked outraged at you, but when he spoke there was laughter in his voice.
"Listen, young lady. I wasn't...!"
"I heard you screaming." You cut him off. "Why are you here again by the way?"
You stretched and tried to fix your shirt, but Jungkook was still strongly attached to it. Jackson looked around, as if he was remembering something.
"I forgot my phone here, just don't remember where."
"I think it must be in the office. I remember you using it there" You simply said and Jackson went up the stairs with a nod.
When there was no sign of him, you finally turned your attention to Jungkook, who was still in his curled position beside you, face hidden in you. He was shaking slightly and it broke your heart. You put a hand on his head, fixing his messy hair.
"I'm sorry, Y/N. I did it again." His voice was small.
You sighed, placing a kiss on the high of his head.
"You were suddenly brought up. We all got frightened. Nobody is hurt. We laughed it off. It seems to me that everything is pretty fine." You made him look at you. "If I tell you it is all okay, do you believe in me?"
He nodded.
"But Jackson... I showed him my teeth. He may be mad at me, and..." He gulped.
"Shhhhh." You took his hands on yours, making him let go of your shirt.
"Jackson is a soft hearted guy, he won't be mad at you for something like this. And if it makes you feel better I can talk to him..."
"No!" He exclaimed, interrupting you. "Don't tell him nothing. You'll have to explain about me and I don't want to..."
"It's ok. If you don't want me to say nothing. I won't." You promised.
Jungkook hugged his bunny with one of his arms, lowering his eyes.
"It's just that I don't want anyone to know where I came from, or what I did. I didn't tell you everything, even though I trust you... I trust you only."
You can relate with that, you can understand why he doesn't want to expose himself. It's fear of rejection, and you can do nothing but respect, and also, give all the love you have to give, and hope that at least half of it reaches his heart.
"Come here." You opened your arms to him. "Need me to put you to bed?"
He laughed.
"No. Thanks."
You pulled from each other, and you got up from the couch, picking up the pillows and the blanket. Jungkook was weeping tears on his cheeks and looking cute.
"Damn, I'm crying again..." He chuckled, turning the TV off.
"Good night, JK." You fondly said.
"Good night, Y/N. Sleep well."
He followed you with his eyes until you disappeared up the stairs and the light went out. His mind was totally against it, but his gut was telling him to follow you, he didn't know why. But he did. As soon as he heard your footsteps close to your bedroom's door, he ran on tiptoe, making no noise, and stopped at the top of the stairs. He listened. Jackson was in the room with you.
"What do you want to ask?" Your voice reached his ears.
"It can wait till tomorrow, babe, don't worry." Jackon responded.
In the dark, Jungkook got close to the door and crouched against the wall - so if any of you decided to leave the room out of nowhere, you wouldn't see him there, only if you turned on the corridor light, which you normally don't do.
"Spill it, Jackson." You opened a jar of fancy eye cream, to try to combat the huge dark circles that were installed on your face.
Jackson leaned against the dresser beside you, with his hands in his sweatpants pockets, and said without looking at you.
"I've been thinking about it for some days, I figured you would tell me at some point but you didn't. And after what just happened I'm even more curious about it. How did you meet Jungkook? Where is he from? And why did you decide to adopt him?"
You sighed, knowing that this matter would eventually come up. Outside, Jungkook gulped.
"He's a rescue case. I didn't work directly with the legal process, it was a prosecutor friend of mine who indicted his former owners. When he was left without an owner and nowhere to go I decided to help, and that's it. There is no explanation for why I wanted him, or vice versa. Jungkook is just special to me."
You calmly spoke.
"His former owner was arrested?"
"Yeah. For money laundering and conspiracy."
Jungkook felt a shiver down his spine. He knew you were going to lie now, or at least not answer, because it's not just his secret, it's yours too. And for some reason he felt like you had to lie to your boyfriend because of him. But technically this last part isn't a lie, his former owner really got arrested for money laundering and conspiracy, it's just that there were many more accusations against him besides these, like exploitation of hybrids, homicide, human trafficking and prostitution, among others, but that part Jackson doesn't need to know.
Jackson hesitated.
"Does Jungkook have a history of abuse?" Jackson said, and Jungkook couldn't define by his tone what he was thinking, it was too flat.
You, on the other hand, were feeling in court, being questioned by lawyer Jackson Wang. He already had a point of view, he just wanted to make you confirm. But you are smart too.
"Why are you asking this?" You crossed your arms.
"He was aggressive down stairs, in the living room, not even ten minutes ago. I know that hybrids with difficult pasts can be violent." He responded.
"That's not what I asked. Why are you, Jackson, asking that? What does it matter to you?" You were incisive.
A moment of silence passed.
"I'm worried, I guess. You are living with him now. Hybrids can be dangerous."
Part of you understand, a little bigger part got pissed.
"I've been surrounded by hybrids since I was born. I literally work with them every day, both in my stores, both in my legal area. Because my expertise is in the rights and protection of hybrids in case you forgot, Jackson. I know what I am doing." Each word came firmly out of your mouth. "Besides, Jungkook is my friend, you can't just assume he is dangerous."
"He almost bit me! Growled at me!" He snapped, and it longer felt like a conversation, but an argument.
"Jackson what would happen if you wake me up one hour sooner than I planned to wake up?" You put your hand on your hips.
"You would complain." He replied as if your question had nothing to do with the matter.
You made a sign with your hands as if the answer was obvious.
"Exactly. And that's what he did. The only difference is that he can growl, besides talk, to express his discontentment, and we can't. End of story."
Jackson pinched his nose, clear sign that he knows you got a point. But it wasn't done yet.
"I understood that part, and I'm sorry. Even so, I'm worried. Because you know him and trust him, but I don't. How can I know that when you are alone it will not hurt you?"
In the dark, Jungkook bit his lip, feeling terrible, because he already did hurt you.
You were feeling worked up, more than you should. You walked past him, stomping.
"I don't want to talk about it. We know... You know very well, that no one needs a traumatic past to be violent. You see bad people with perfect lives everyday on your job." You fumed, and when he tried to respond you spoked above him. "The past of a free hybrid belongs to the one who abused them and not to them. All the bad things were done by other people, and judging them for these things is prejudiced. And I will not tolerate you being prejudiced, Jackson."
At that point you were crying. At the beginning of the conversation, you were trying to be rational and calculate what to say so as not to miss out on anything you shouldn't, to avoid contradicting yourself, to avoid the conversation. But something from then on was a trigger for you. Jackson was without reaction for a moment. Jungkook had to restrain himself from entering the room to comfort you, all his instincts telling him to do so.
"Y/N..." Jackson tried.
"No. Listen." You took a deep breath. "I understand your worry. My mom probably will say the same thing when she meets him, and she is one of the people who taught me these things I just said... But that's the thing, Jackson: you don't need to know about the traumas and hurts, and terrible things that happened with Jungkook - or anyone else - to know him. You can know him for who he is today. I'm living with him for about a week and I already know he is a incredible smart boy, absolutely good in almost everything he does, and that he is afraid of the microwave, and he loves sweet things, especially if he can mix everything up in a misshapen sugar mass that no one else would eat, and the key of his heart is a little bit of attention because... Because he is content with so little. No matter the crumb of love you give him, he will be happy... And that's why I wanted to give him everything... The whole world..."
You were pouting, and tears were running down your cheeks, and your voice was so small. You were so small right now. Jackson reached you and pulled you to a tight hug. You hold him too, sobbing lightly.
In the corridor Jungkook got on his feet and wiped his own tears. He needed to process everything he heard. All the things you said about hybrids and about him, and the fact that you cried because of him. He didn't know what it was, but a feeling so warm on his chest promised that it would be hard to get to sleep again that night, thinking about these things and you. It was really horrible not to be able to enter the room so that he could hug you, and answer everything you said with his feelings - even if he couldn't explain everything, just because he can't name everything. He silently walked down the corridor to the stairs, heading for his room.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to cry. I don't even know why I'm crying... " You whined, weeping your nose with a chuckle. "I'll be all puffy tomorrow morning and the fault is all yours."
Jackson laughed, pushing your hair away from your wet face.
"I'm sorry. Really, I didn't intend to be a jerk or anything. But I think I needed this conversation, I always learn a lot from you... And I think you needed this conversation too, you needed to put some things out, otherwise you wouldn't have cried." He charmly smiled.
"You must be right. But seriously...!" You slapped his forearm. "I would be less pissed if you had a silly jealous tantrum or something like that. It would be easier to solve, just ignore it."
"Yah! Why would I be jealous of you? I know the day you find I guy more amazing than me you will let me know right away. Broke up with me by massege or something like this."
"Shut up." You slapped him again. "You didn't turn off the flower shop's alarm when you arrived, right?"
"No." He shook his head.
You smiled wildly.
"So take off your pants and spoon-sleep with me."
_________________________________________________________________________________
Then all of Jungkook's documents arrived in the mail, including an adoption request certificate - which was false, made by some of his contacts in the organization - a definitive guardianship certificate that specifies you as his legal guardian and not as owner - a small advance in the law - and that gives him some freedom that most hybrids don't have, like walking around by himself, and at last but not least, his hybrid id.
With all this in hand you finally got to make Jungkook's first appointment with a psychologist. Together you both researched some names of professionals in the field, including the three that the doctor gave you the other day, and some others indicated by friends of yours. One way or another you would have to leave the city to go to the appointments, since your city is small and you didn't find anyone in the region, so one of the criteria for choosing was distance. Another, of course, was the professional background and branch of psychology, and that part was more with you. On the other hand, Jungkook literally chose the cover of the book. When he didn't like the person's face they were automatically excluded from the list.
"And if I get there and right away I don't like their smell... I'm leaving." He declared.
"Of course. You must be comfortable." You agreed. "What do you think about this one? He is young but the curriculum is impressive... And he has a support therapy group with hybrids, which is really cool."
Jungkook took your notebook to put on his own lap to get a closer look. You started your research hours earlier, in your office, but after a long time sitting in chairs that left you both with a sore ass, a break to eat pizza and put on pajamas, you were still trying to choose someone, but now under the covers in your bed with the TV on. The website that was open was a clinic specializing in hybrids, and on the page that Jungkook was looking at had a picture of a young man with a bright smile.
"Dr. Jung Hoseok..." He mumbled to himself.
"He looks nice right? There's some patient testimonials..." You were about to ask him if he wanted to read it but he was faster.
"I want him."Jungkook looked at you with determined eyes. "I like him. Is the first one we see that is truly smiling."
He was planning to choose a woman, because he thought he would be more comfortable than with a man, but this one looked perfect in a way that no one else has looked until now.
"Ok, then. I'm calling them tomorrow morning." You smiled at him.
___________________________________________________________________________
Much to the disappointment of Jungkook and yours too, Dr. Jung's schedule was packed with lecturers and courses, so he wouldn't be able to start therapy immediately as you both imagined, leaving the first meeting with him for the following month only.
So this is it ... A whole month of a lot of rain, in which you were very busy with your boyfriend and your job, without being able to do therapy, without leaving home most days. Without realizing it, Jungkook was building up a terrible bad mood.
At first you didn't even notice, because Jungkook is quiet most of the time, and you were too focused on difficult texts full of legal terms that fry your brain. But one morning, the first in weeks when the sky was blue and you had no work to do... The first morning that you slept till late and woke up with a smile on your puffy face, opened the bedroom curtain as a Disney princess would, and hopped down the stairs in a good perfect mood ... That morning you noticed.
"Gooood morning!" You literally sang, passing by Jungkook, who was eating his cereal, standing by the counter. He didn't respond, and you interpreted as his sleep non talking state. "I'm in the mood for eggs and bacon today... maybe a sandwich too. Do you want it? My god I can eat the whole world today..."
"No. I could have made myself a sandwich if I wanted to."
You raised your eyebrows, a little surprised, taking milk, eggs, cheese, onion, tomatoes and mayo from the fridge. A second passed before Jungkook added in a grumpy voice:
"Thank you."
On a frying pan you put some butter to melt and brown the bread, and in another one you broke three eggs leaving room for some slices of bacon. At the delicious sound of those ingredients popping on the fire, you started cutting a tomato, and decided to add lettuce and left over chicken from the night before on your sandwich. The kitchen's air was filled with the pleasant smell.
"Are you sure you don't wan't not even the eggs and bacon?" You asked again, turning said bacon so that the two sides would be equally delicious. As a precaution you browned two more slices of bread.
"You don't have to bother." Jungkook murmured, without taking his eyes off the dull cereal bowl in front of him, but still his nose worked to identify the smells in the air.
You put a slice of mozzarella cheese and a cheddar cheese on top of the hot bread slices, and immediately the cheese started to melt beautifully. In the pan that no longer were the bread, you put some onion to caramelize.
"No bother. Today is a perfect day, and it’s been a while since I’ve prepared breakfast for you, or that we ate just the two of us..." You gladly spread the shredded chicken over the cheese, and then the mayonnaise over the chicken...
Behind you, Jungkook sighed, and you could hear his lazy steps towards you. Over your shoulder he placed the empty bowl in the sink. He looked at what you were doing and his mouth watered.
"I want mine with ketchup, too." He declared with a frown.
"Get it from the fridge for me, then." You simply said. He obeyed. With one hand you put the ketchup on his sandwich - which you were already making because you knew he would want it, and if he didn't want it you would eat it yourself - and with the other you put the fire out of the pan with eggs and bacon. "Do you want the eggs and bacon in or out of the sandwich?"
In."
You were inspired, so even the olive on a stick on top of the huge sandwich you put. A beautiful sandwich.
"Sit." You happily pulled a chair for yourself. The first bite was heaven for you, making you moan as you chew slowly with eyes closed. You sighed deeply. "Working from home but not getting a decent breakfast like that every day sucks."
No response. Jungkook was eating with pleasure - as always - but still didn't seem ready to talk. You looked him up and down. You were proud to see that after a month of living with you, he now had the most rosy cheeks and healthiest skin, and clearly gained considerable weight, thanks to the complete and balanced diet that you guaranteed he had. But he wasn't supposed to be in a bad mood. He was supposed to be happy. When was the last time he brushed his hair?
"What are your plans for today?" As if you want nothing, you asked.
"Have any." He didn't even look at you to speak, instead he got up and opened the fridge. "Want juice?"
Okay, you think he's not upset with you.
"Sure." You waited for him to sit back in front of you. "I have to visit some of my stores today, since I've been so busy and haven't had time to check them out in the past two weeks. But I don't even call it work, because it's going to be fast, and I personally love to see how business is going... Do you want to go with me?"
For the first time this morning, he looked at you with interest. Still, it was not the enthusiasm you were expecting, nor an answer, so you continued.
"We can buy useless things, eat ice cream and go to the park... And this time really enjoy it. The weather forecast guarantees that it will be sunny all day." You expectantly rested your chin on the palm of the hand.
Looking at you shining eyes, Jungkook nodded with a small smile. You almost jumped from your chair.
"Remember we tried to play frisbee, and I kind of found out that my little cute arms weren't made for that?"
He shook his head with a mocking smirk.
"If it doesn't go far enough to run after it, it's no fun."
"YEAH... Then it started raining and we came home, and we never talked about it again ... "You put your hands together." It turns out that I saw something on the internet that I thought was incredible and I bought it, and we can try it today."
Jungkook narrowed his eyes at you suspiciously.
"This." You showed him your phone.
A wild smile spread on his face and he reclined in the chair. He looked at you one more time and tossed his chin slightly, a quirk that you know by now that means he is accepting a challenge.
"I'm washing the dishes, and then I'll get ready."
He stuffed the rest of the sandwich in his mouth and swallowed the juice in one gulp, rising from the table with determination.
________________________________________________________________
You own a very wide variety of store types, your family practically founded the city generations ago, so what they didn’t open, they invested for someone to open it, it was how you all got rich, and that’s why so many places have your last name on the signboard, and half of them really are yours. The two of you went through your bookstore and music store, the bakery and the karaoke bar... Most of these places Jungkook didn't know yet, and it was interesting to see how you behave with the people that work to you.
It is different from how you act with him, gentle and bright all the time, smooth and carefree, just taking care of him with little things here and there. It is also different from how you act with Taehyung and Jimin, you are relaxed and fun with them, even in the office, when you the lynx are working, you are clearly best friends, and act together as an unbeatable team. It is not as if you stop having all these adjectives or change your personality, but that you put on a layer of boss to act in the presence of your employees. Your usual sweet tone of speech was accompanied by firmness, and even though you were friendly, calling everyone by name, you did not reach out to talk too much to anyone - focusing only on checking if everything was in compliance and solving what needed to be resolved.
Jungkook found it interesting, because it reminded you a lot of how you acted the day you met. You were kind enough for him to trust you, and you were also strong for him to trust you.
And what Taehyung said earlier was true, all of your stores had hybrid employees, at least one. Jungkook was already used to one of the florists in your flower shop being a fox girl - which turns all red and hides each time he appears -, but it was nice to see others like him in other places. Every one of them seemed so happy to see you. Maybe they also smell the truth on you.
"My first part-time job was in the flower shop, I was sixteen. I bought it from my aunt and then it was my first store too. That's why I like living there... It's an important place for me." You told him, turning off the engine of the SUV. You were in the park parking lot, ready to have burgers and fries for lunch - a little treat for yourself after a month without a day off. The plan was a picnic but you forgot the towel or bringing good food, so eating in the car was plan B.
"This is really cool. If you only worked at the store, how did you buy it? With what money?" Jungkook was a lot more talkative now. Leaving the house for a while was what he needed, he must be feeling trapped.
"I found an investor. In other words, I convinced my grandmother to give me the money." You laughed. "It was a little difficult because I was underage yet..."
"Did you buy your first store at sixteen?"
You simply nod. Jungkook was shocked. At sixteen his life was very different from yours, this is nothing new, but it is still strange to think of the chasm between you two...
"At sixteen I was already in clandestine fights for two years." He said, and it was as if one of the million pieces of weight he feels on his chest was gone. It didn't seem much compared to what it was fully, but it was relieving.
On the other hand, you felt your heart break. You didn't know what to say. So many times you told him not to press himself to tell you anything, to talk when he feels ready... so you didn't expect it to be now... that way. Perhaps you were not prepared. But fuck it, you're not the one to be ready. It's him.
Maybe because of the face you made, or how you just stopped eating to look at him in an almost comic way, or because of your eyes filling with tears he added.
"I still don't want to talk about it... I didn't even want to... I don't know why it slipped out. It's just that listening to you talking about your past is so..." He seemed lost in words, not knowing how to organize what to say. "I see you so bright! I wanted to be bright too... I've been thinking about it a lot... About having a job. And... And..."
He looked frustrated. You still didn't know what to say, or if you should say something, so you just held Jungkook's greasy hand from eating fries with your greasy hand from eating fries.
"I want to be the owner of my future." He concluded, remembering what you said the other night.
"A jog is a good first step, JK. I'm proud of you. You have all my support, I can give you a job or help you get one... wherever you want." You intertwined your fingers with his.
He let out a long breath that he hadn't realized he was holding. He was shaking, and he knew you were feeling it in the hand you were holding, if you couldn't see it too.
"I also have another favor to ask." His voice was shaky, but his eyes didn't leave yours, just like when he asked to be with you.
"Anything." You whispered, mouth dry.
Something inside you told you that this was the purest truth about your relationship with Jungkook. That you would definitely do anything for him. You also felt that it should terrify you, just it didn't.
Jungkook took his old wallet out of his pocket and opened it for you to look inside. The photo of two hybrid boys smiling, hugging each other, made you smile too.
"You are the small one." You pointed.
Jungkook nodded.
"The other one is my hyung. We live together on a breeding farm. I think there was a lab too, but I never went there, I don't remember... When I was robbed and sold for the fights he went too, and a few years later we were separated... Do you think you can find him?"
Jungkook didn't want false hopes. He knows better than anyone what life is like for a fighting hybrid, how it ends. But if he survived that long, then his hyung can too, and if anyone can save him, it is you. He just wanted to hear that you're going to try... Even if you only discover the worst of the possibilities... Even if you don't discover anything. Among all the terrible things in Jungkook's head, this is the one that most takes away his sleep, the one that most makes him feel guilty.
"What is his name, breed, age...? Any information you have about him." You were serious, every gear in your brain working.
"Namjoon. He was some type of wolf... Older than me, I don't remember how much." Jungkook's eyebrows came together and he bit his lip, trying to remember anything else that might help. "He loves to read... He is a good hyung... I don't know...!"
"Shhh. It's ok." You took his face in your free hand. "You don't need to freak out now, if you remember something later just tell me. With his name, age and breed I can ask my organization friends for help."
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. For some reason the smell of the food was making him nauseous... Or it was just his anxiety messing with him. He just didn't want to eat anymore. Suddenly the car was too small and getting smaller for the second, and he couldn't breath. His body started to shake violently, and his lungs were hurting. He let go of your hand and opened the door to get out.
You followed him close. Instead of going down your door and having to go around the car, you jumped into the passenger seat and got off right behind Jungkook, who was already bent over with his head between his knees. He was having an anxiety attack. You crouched in front of him and rubbed his back softly.
"Breathe with me, JK, love. Inhale for four seconds... Hold for two seconds... Release for six..." You've been there before, and breathing has always helped you more than most things, not only to stabilize your body, but also to help you focus. "Right... Again."
You breathed with him, still keeping your hand comforting on his back, but not too close to suffocate him.
"You don't need to answer out loud, ok? I need you to find five things around us that you can see. Can you do this for me?"
He barely nodded, but you saw he understood. He was breathing like you told him to, opened his watering eyes and looked around. The trees. The car wheel beside him. The lake shining far away. His shoes. Your shoes.
"Now find four things you can hear." You told him after a while.
The birds. Kids laughing somewhere. The radio inside the car. Your calm breathing.
"You are doing great, babe. Find three things you can smell."
Dirt. Freshly cut grass. You.
"At last... Two things you can touch." You took the opportunity to pet his head.
The car. You.
He was calmer, his body collapsed and he ended up sitting on the ground with his face in his hands. You got up, and he didn't see where you went, but you weren't gone for long.
"Here, something to taste." You handed him a bottle of sparkling water. "I don't know if you like it, but it's good for the stomach."
He drank the bottle all at once, and made a face at the end. He doesn't like it.
"Thank you, Y/N. You are always taking care of me. Sorry." He took your hand and intertwined your fingers together.
"Silly, puppy." You smiled at him, and he could swear it is the prettiest thing ever. "You can alway take care of me too."
He wanted to look at you for a while, to be silent for a while. Think only of how sweet and beautiful you are, instead of the bad things. But you got up again, not thinking what he was thinking.
"Can you get up?" You offered help.
He accepted.
"I can do a lot of things besides getting up. I'm ready to run." He smiled wildly.
"Are you sure?" You took his face in both your hands, the color was coming back to his cute cheeks, but you were still worried. He nodded, covering one of your hands with his. You sighed. "Ok then."
_______________________________________________________________
You weren't trying so hard, but you got tired just to see how fast Jungkook runs, and after an hour, you can't believe the boy's fitness. Too much stamina, Christ. As he came back to you with the frisbee in hand, at high speed, the wind in his hair made the sweaty bangs fly back. He was stunning. Wild smile and excitement making him look like a child at the same time he looked like every girl's dream boyfriend.
"Throw, another one, Y/N." He sang, already running away.
You lifted the cannon frisbee launcher and opened fire. Looking up, Jungkook calculated the route of the flying thing and speeded up to catch it. Since you started playing he hasn't lost one. He only almost ran over a few unsuspecting pedestrians, but nobody got hurt. From meters away, you could hear him jumping up and down before he started running towards you once more. You definitely need to find some physical activity for this child to stay entertained and happy.
"Again!"
______________________________________________________
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Im the list anon again and boy do I have more for you but this time I also have some questions as well if your time allows and you are willing to answer of course. First with the other things I loved:
1) the fact that Ron warmed up to Draco so quickly! I genuinely think thats so much in character. Ron is not a distrustful person and as a middle child as they come is very easygoing and would for sure make stupid jokes at Draco
2) The patronus. My god the Patronus. I seriously put the phone down and made a small slow clap during that chapter. At first I was like hmmmm *insert unsure kombucha girl face* because almost all fanfics have him with a dragon patronus and leave it at that (and lets be honest at this point my expectations of you were quite high dont blame me blame your bloody brilliant writing) but then, and I dont know if you did this on purpose or not (I have a feeling you did) but the fact that the dragon was the same (pale white) wounded but still feral dragon that Hermione FREEED (!) from a bank (£££) dungeon, malnourished and used for its nature, surrounded by darkness, wealth and misery!! And it was Hermione who broke its chains!!!!! Is just *chefs fucking kiss* slow clap*
3) the way you describe sex scenes are so natural! Ive never read a fanfic or book that doesnt make me gag a little bit (I am not a fan of smut at all but ill go with it because of a good story) until I read yours. Its so simple but yet intricate and you make the entire act so intriguing and normal and intimate. Bravo.
4) I LOVE SASHA. I love that Theo fell for her head over heels and the way you portrayd her reminded me of a friend of mine who works as a sous-chef in London so I always pictured her when reading it!
5) Dracos inner voice is ON POINT. Like I genuinely think you shoud own the rights to that character now.
6) Ill say it again. I love Ginny. You should also own the rights to her character too.
7) my interest for Quiddich (even when reading the books/wathcing the movies) was on par, if not lower than Hermiones. You managed to get me interested in that too so yes another slow clap to you
7.1) Also such a clever career for Draco!! Made si much sense!
Now to some questions
A) What was the deal with Malfoy referring to Ginny as Weasly and refusing to aknowledge her Potter surname. And why did everyone kept correcting him? It was hilarious granted but I wanted to know whether the reason you included this time and time again had to do wih something deeper? Or was this included as just a funny recurring joke?
B) Why did you choose for Draco to have a “fantasy” to produce a patronus and not for example for him to have had to do that after theyd exchanged “i love yous”. Very interesting angle and i liked that it was sort of a loophole to all the ‘death eaters cant have patronuses’ but quite curious on the thought process
C) Why did you opt for Draco to remove his mark? Do you think that stands as reward for him more or for Hermione? Very smart solution by the way
D) if you have the time- Could you please elaborate a tad more on what the soul-bonding means? Why was it so taboo? At furst hand it seems like a very romantic/amazing thing to do with your partner right?
Lastly- Do you ever itch to make a second part to this? And in the most acceptable case that you dont, I always wondered what you had in mind for them in the future- because of the soul bonding thing, you mentioned that the generational curses will be erased, which means I guess that the Malfoys can have more than one child now, and girls as well. (I cannot believe im asking for this as I am the one to avoid any pregnancy fanfics but) do you imagine them with children and if yes, how many? How do they integrate muggle devices(I know youd agree wit me that Hermione would definitively bring some muggle stuff over!) and which devices would Draco really secretly like?
Pleasewriteasecondpartwhereyouelaborateyourthoughtsonthisthankyou.
Ok rant done. :D
List anon! You’re back with another amazing ask. I’ll do my best!
1.) I like to think Ron matured a lot post-war (not enough to stop making terrible jokes, though.)
2.) Regarding your beautiful analysis of my specific dragon breed for Draco’s patronus: How many points would you like for your Hogwarts house of choice? I will add that according to Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, the Ironbelly’s scales are normally a metallic grey. I will also add that I subscribe more to book canon than movie canon. In the book version of events of the Gringotts escape, Harry breaks the chains and Hermione (with eventual help once the boys catch on) destroys the ceiling so it can have a way out. The partially blind dragon does the rest of the work on its own.
3.) Thank you, that’s very flattering.
4.) Does your friend also get you into fancy restaurants and can they make salted caramel bread pudding???
5.) Thank you, it was one of my favorite aspects of writing this story.
6.) Thank you, she’s so fun to write and flesh out from her book portrayal.
7.) Haha, I felt so validated by that line of dialogue in Cursed Child when Draco tells Harry he wanted to play quidditch professionally, but wasn’t good enough.
Now to some answers:
A.) It’s definitely a recurring joke. It’s up to the reader to interpret Draco’s actions here: is he doing it to be a massive troll? Or is he genuinely not retaining the information of her married name because he considers this fact so unimportant that he does not bother to keep it in his brain? Troll, snob, or both, you can decide!
B.) I’ll address the second part of this first, because it was not intended as a loophole. I 1000% do not understand the “death eaters can’t have patronuses” thing. It makes absolutely no sense. Snape has a Patronus. But beyond that… Umbridge has a Patronus (a cat). If we’re letting that woman have a Patronus, then yeah, I think Draco can cast one. As for the vision that Draco used to conjure it… up to you whether that’s a fantasy or a glimpse of a certain ritual actually working. Draco’s thoughts on the matter: “An image of such striking tangibility that he might have already lived it, or perhaps experienced time in such a way that he lived it now.”
C.) I wanted Draco to have a choice, obviously a recurring theme for him in RN. For my characterization of him, that symbol on his arm causes him nothing but shame and self-loathing (see the end of chapter 36 during his heart-to-heart with Hermione). He’d already exercised almost every known avenue to rid himself of it before Hermione entered his life (he lists these in chapter 44). Hermione already loved him (and has told him so) by the time she’s figured out how to remove it: “I love the man you are today and I will love that man tomorrow, bare forearm or not. I simply wanted you, for once, to have the choice. It’s your body.”
D.) Ooh anon, you are tempting me here. I really hate to be coy, but you might see some future writing on this very topic.
I can at least answer the taboo part: I think soul magic in general (horcruxes, the use of unicorn blood) is quite taboo in the HP universe. As no one knows what happens after death (not even ghosts, Nearly Headless Nick says as much when Harry asks him point-blank in OoTP) I think most magical folk would think the intense ritual (blending magical cores) an unnecessary thing anyway. As Draco explains in chapter 48, since no one actually knows the effects or if it works, it’s considered a bit over-the-top since it’s probably futile anyway. It is also not a Vow with a death component; Narcissa is obviously alive in this story even though Lucius is already dead. I wrote the generational curse protection theory in as a dig at Cursed Child for the way they handled Astoria’s character.
The idea of it I think is romantic, but I will stress it is very dependent upon the intent of the two participants. To quote Draco in chapter 48 again: “To twine one’s soul to another showed a willingness to not only physically tether one’s self during your time here on earth, but to commit to a blending of your magical cores, putting faith in your magic to recognize its bonded counterpart in another life. Should other lives even exist.”
If you re-read Draco’s experience during the bonding ceremony in chapter 51 (starting from this bit: “The cognizance of his own powers never felt sharper, more familiar, but suddenly another power pulsed within to join with his.”) you might find it bears a resemblance to the trajectory of their relationship.
Lastly- I’ve left Draco and Hermione to their wedded bliss. I’ve got nothing planned for them beyond where they are in the final lines of chapter 51. I don’t have that itch to write more into their future because it would feel forced. Draco laid out his two envisioned futures with Hermione in chapter 48 when they discuss having or not having children. They are happy and content in the life they chose together. That’s all I ever wanted for them.
You will see more from this story though. I have an entire series of one-shots and outtakes from the published Remain Nameless timeline that I’ll start posting soon.
Thank you so much list anon! These were fun to answer!
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love, eternal. | iv
genre: reincarnation!au, fallen angel!au
[supernatural-ish, angst, use of blunts and intoxicants, extra asshole jaehyun, smut, vulgar words]
pairing: jung jaehyun x reader
words: 9k
notes: it’s been really hard for me to write these past few days. i don’t know if i’m writing sense into this fic. but i do hope that you enjoy this chapter! please leave some feedbacks (bad or good is appreciated! :) ) it would really mean a lot to me! thank you so much! also, this chapter is unedited, so forgive the errors xx
part i | part ii | part iii | part v
“There is a halo in your mouth
and I like how it burns.”
— Sincerely, Joanna
You lay in bed awake, the kiss you shared with Jaehyun occupying almost all the space in your brain. Tugging on your hair, you forced yourself to sleep and not let yourself drown into the feeling— for the kiss still lingers on your lips, making your chest swell in unbelievable happiness.
The dinged of your phone pulled you out of your fantasy, you grabbed it from the nightstand and saw Soojin’s name displayed on the notification panel.
[Are u ok? R u home?]
You typed in your answer, squinting from the brightness of the screen.
[Yes. I’m home. U?]
But before you decided to keep your phone, Yuta’s caller ID flashed on the screen. A frown slid past your lips, then you slide the red button. You currently do not have the energy to deal with anyone. But you at least owe Soojin a message to let her know that you’re home safe.
You stare at the ceiling, the image of Jaehyun flashing into the white color above. Jaehyun’s lips tasted of tequila and mint— so soft against yours. Out of all the boys that you’ve kissed in your lifetime, the one you shared with Jaehyun stood amongst others. Yes, you’ve kissed boys when you were drunk or sober, but none of their kisses made you feel light yet heavy— like you were flying and drowning at the same time. It thrilled you to the bones. You subconsciously touched your lips just to feel it one last time, and just to prove yourself that it happened. Jaehyun kissed you, and you kissed him back.
The realization of how happy you were of the experience blows your mind, and that how the touch of his lips felt like a distant memory. The caress of his lips, so familiar you started to wonder if you’d ever kiss him before.
But that’s impossible, right?
Dreaming again? The voice inside you asked.
You stare at the queen size four poster bed. Roaming your eyes around the room, you saw a vanity resting at the corner in front of the gothic-styled windows, and a dresser probably bigger than the bathroom you have home is located on the side.
The thick red curtains drapes down, their edges touching the tiled floor. You spotted a vintage hand mirror on the nightstand, the glass reflecting that of a moonstone you wonder if it’s used to mirror things or just a mere display. Shrugging, you placed it back and sat on the bed.
Your butt slightly sunk into the soft mattress, allowing a soft gasp to escape your lips. The mattress was so inviting, you laid on the pillows, and the same happened to your head— it also sunk in the cushion. You could sleep forever if you wished to. For there was no one in the whole room but you.
A sudden tardiness hugged your body whole as you lay still, your mind blank from everything. Not even the kiss you shared with Jaehyun could make you think of something other than the comfort of the room. You wonder who could be the owner of such a classic and magnificent room. He or she must be sophisticated to have owned such grandiose space. Despite the somnolence, you compelled yourself to stand. The room felt suddenly eerie because of its vastness. You would’ve shivered if not for the sunlight that’s infiltrating it through the glass windows.
Roaming your eyes for the second time around, your vision caught sight of the small veranda attached to the room, making you realized that it must be located on the top floors of a house. You pulled yourself up, the cold tiled floor biting on your soles. Barefooted, you walked to the veranda, night dress swaying in every step.
Vast green fields greeted you as you pushed the door open. Tall trees standing here and there with thick foliages. There was one who bends on the veranda: making everything looked like a Romeo and Juliet’s scene.
There was an easel supporting a finished canvas. Paintbrushes and different oil pigments sat atop a table beside it. A separate table with teacups and spoons resides in the nearest corner with two chairs around it.
Everything seems like a fairytale. The whole place felt so removed from the loudness of the society. A dream you once had as a child; serenity, with only your canvas, paintbrushes and pigments beside you. Now here it is, and it felt so real, kindling an ember inside you it could start a fire. You inhaled.
You stepped closer to the canvas. The hues of it being illuminated by the sunlight made everything so marvelous. It was bright, it was alive, and it feels like your own.
“Fallen angel,” you breathed.
It was an angel, falling from the heavens. Wings splayed, like he forgot how to use them and blend with the wind. The artwork gave the impression of an unending fall. His eyes had that horror of being banished, yet when you look at the wholeness of his face, you saw the fury that lies within.
“It is indeed a fallen angel,”
You jumped and turned around to greet the voice. Heart hammering against your chest, you saw a pretty woman standing behind you. Hair black as the night, eyes as the blue of the skies— she’s the one you saw in your reflection in the mirror. How?
“I am Aurora,” She extended her hands. You looked at her outstretched hands before reluctantly taking it with your hands and shaking it. It was so soft. No callouses could be felt.
“I am… Y/N.”
Aurora smiled. You’ve never seen someone as beautiful except for Jaehyun. She looked like a goddess ready to bring peace in to the Earth. Her smooth steps enthralled you, every move of her feet towards the canvas is like a silent wave of the waters in the ocean.
“This is unfinished.”
Her voice. It could lull any crying children to sleep; so soft, so serene.
“Really? What could be missing?”
You both stare at it and you noticed that your dresses are similar to each other.
“A tear.” She smiled at you. “Will you do the honors of completing it for me?”
Even if you don’t understand a single thing, specially her favor, you nodded. What could possibly be the reason of her asking for you if she could paint it on her own? And as if she heard the voices in your mind, she turned to you.
“I… don’t have the ability to finish it anymore.”
There was sadness in her eyes which quickly reflected on you. Almost like you feel what she currently feels. So you grab the paintbrush and started to dip it on the pigments. With Aurora guiding you, she pointed where exactly to put the tear. You oblige and started painting it.
“It’s don…e.”
Where is Aurora? You searched for her with your keen eyes, but there wasn’t any trace to tell you where did she possibly go. The door is silent, a proof that no one pushed it. All that you could hear is the rustling of winds against the leaves.
You longed to touch the canvas, to feel the bumpiness of the paint against it. Hair’s breadth away, you suddenly curled your finger. It was so perfect that you’d feel ashamed to taint it with your hands, even though you touched it with brushes, it feels wrong to let your hand feel it. So you look and look at it until you drank all the details in, with a promise to recreate it once you wake up.
Three knocks, those were the sounds that woke you up out of slumber. You heard the muffled voice of your sister against the door that’s separating you from the life outside.
“There’s a delivery for you,” said she, voice a bit louder for you to hear. You told her you’re awake, and that you’d just compose yourself so she should entertain the delivery personnel for a minute.
Delivery? You rack your brain of anything, thinking of the last thing you purchased online. And that is a new drawer to keep your art materials in place.
With a creased brow, you swiftly tied your hair while still thinking of what could the delivery be. Then the realization slowly hit you, your eyes widened and you ran outside, abandoning your hair half tied into a bun.
“Good morning, miss.” The delivery boy greeted, a soft smile on his lips.
“G-good morning,” You stuttered, heart rumbling.
“We’re here to deliver the painting purchased by Mr. Jung. Is he around?” He was still smiling, eyes roaming around the living room, searching for a man who isn’t there.
You composed yourself by breathing in and out, silently wishing that Jaehyun has already handled the shipping fee.
“He’s not around. But can I… can I receive the parcel for him?” You asked, surprised that you’ve said the sentence without stuttering.
It would cause a lot of trouble if you tell them that you mistyped the address on the mail you sent their company, so it’s best that you accept the package instead of asking them to deliver it to Jaehyun’s house. And you’re certain Jaehyun would kill you one or another.
“Oh, that’s unfortunate. But yes you can, Ma’am. Just show us your valid ID so we can tell Mr. Jung that one of his relatives accepted the parcel,”
You nodded at him and walked back to your room to gather your ID. He must’ve thought that Jung Jaehyun is living in this small apartment and that you’re one of his family members. The thought almost made you laugh and you scoff. Relative? I’m not even a friend, you mumbled.
You handed him the ID then he wrote your name on some paper and on the horizontal line at the end of a separate paper he’s laid on the table. He handed you the pen, then you wrote your signature above the name. He tipped his cap, walked back to the delivery vehicle and when he came back, he’s carrying an average sized parcel. By the looks of it, you bet the canvas is of the standard size. You guided him towards the sofa, where he laid the parcel carefully.
“Thank you,” You smiled, which he answered with the same gesture, tipping his cap again and bidding his goodbyes.
“What is that?” Yuqi asked, scrutinizing the parcel with a mug of hot chocolate on one hand. Sighing, you slumped in one of the sofas, covering your face with your hands.
“I’m seriously fucked up,” You told her.
“Why? What happened?”
“That is the parcel which was supposed to be delivered to Jung Jaehyun’s. Not here. I mistyped the address because of my agitation by Yuta’s arrival,”
“That jerk really couldn’t do anything right, could he?”
Yuqi was still a baby teen when she met Yuta, but her blood did not settle good in him. She warned you about her gut feelings towards him— that he’s bad news who’d shatter your heart in pieces. Guess what, in her young age, she was right.
“He even punched Jaehyun,”
“Wow! The audacity! Jaehyun could literally throttle him,” Yuqi stated, a scoff leaving her lips.
“Jaehyun did not fight back. Brawling with Yuta must’ve seemed so pathetic to him.”
“I guess so. Rich bachelors like him does not indulge themselves to useless—”
Your phone rang all the way to the room, making you jump in your seat and literally dive for it in your drawers. Jaehyun is calling. You gulped and pray before sliding the green button.
“The fuck is this, Y/N?! One job! You had one job! And you couldn’t even do it right!”
By his shouting, you pulled your phone away from your ear. You could see the veins in his forehead protrude in your mind, adding more to your anxiety.
“I’m—”
He breathed, “I don’t need your apology.” Then paused, “Deliver that here in thirty-minutes, or else…” He breathed again, and you swear your knees started to wobble. “You know what’d happen,”
Then he hang up. You hugged your phone to your chest, recollecting the sanity Jaehyun kicked out of your body. He couldn’t expect you to arrive in his penthouse in thirty-minutes when it’s literally one hour away from your house. But he’s Jung Jaehyun, and he always gets what he wants. It doesn’t matter how you get there, you just need to get there. Thirty-minutes, you dashed for the bathroom. Half an hour isn’t even enough to scrub your body clean. Dissatisfied from the five-minute bath, you rapidly put things in your bag and settled for a hoodie and pants.
Nice, twenty-minutes left. You didn’t even have any time to dry your hair, so you comb it on the way to the bus stop with the parcel tucked in your arms. It wasn’t as heavy as you’d expected it would be, but nonetheless, it was tiring to carry it all the way to the bus stop. Luckily, there’s already a bus waiting when you get there. You climbed on to the vehicle and made yourself comfortable by listening to some music.
It’s impossible to reach his place in less than twenty-minutes. So you disregard his death threats and think about something else. And that something else is the kiss you shared. Your heart suddenly made a jump, realizing that you’re going to Jaehyun’s house. The awkwardness settled in your bones, and the fact that you’ve never been there made you wary. You have no idea what to expect; a model walking out of his house?
Jaehyun doesn’t seem really interested in the opposite sex, but then he kissed you, ravenously. You blushed at the memory of him trying to suck the breath out of you.
The hotel where his penthouse is located loomed over you. You gasped while trying to see the peak of it, so high it made your nape hurt a little. And you frowned by the realization that you need to carry the parcel all the way to the top where his penthouse is located. Blowing out air from your mouth, you walked inside the hotel.
You stare at the canvas resting beside you while you stand in the elevator, wondering what kind of art it is. You’ve never taken Jaehyun to be fond of the arts, but here he is, proving your impressions wrong again. Coincidentally, you’ve also dreamed about a painting. Its memory already printed in your mind that your finger itch to start drawing it.
You stepped outside once the elevator door dinged, carrying the parcel in your hand. There was a single door at the end of the hallway. You have no idea how to tell Jaehyun that you’re already outside, and you don’t want to risk pushing the buttons and scanners in his door, so you sent him a text message instead, hoping that he wasn’t too busy to glance at it.
The door opened, but there was no one who greeted you. Automatic doors? Can’t relate, you whispered to yourself. You pushed the door wider, peeking your head on to the space. The whole house is as silent as a mausoleum. One word to describe the interiors? Magnificent. An expensive looking bachelor pad for a bachelor such as Jung Jaehyun. Everything in sight seems so modernized yet minimal. The hues of the furnitures blends in well with the color of the floor and walls. The ceiling is also high, and of course, a floor-to-ceiling glass windows.
You stepped your foot inside, expecting Jaehyun to appear in the corner to throttle you of your incompetence. Shaking the bad thoughts away, you completely entered the penthouse.
“Sir?” You called against the emptiness of it.
“Jaehyun! Faster!”
Chills ran down your whole body as you heard something erotic. It isn’t what you think it is, right? But the scattered clothes splayed on the sofas and floors told you that it is indeed what you think it is. Another grunt echoed of the whole floor, then a scream followed it. You couldn’t move your body. Maybe you wanted to run, or you wanted the ground to open up and swallow you whole. Because, Jesus Christ, you couldn’t stand and watch a live porn!
The moans and the grunts halted. And you still stood there, palms sweating with your forehead despite the ventilations.
“You’re here,”
“Holy mother of rectangles!” You jumped, your hand flying to your chest.
“I said thirty minutes,” Jung Jaehyun stated while leaning on the door frame with a glass of liquor in hand. He’s wearing a thin white long-sleeves, its fabric clinging on to his sweat beaded body, accentuating his chest and muscles. You thank God that he’s wearing pajamas, because let’s be honest, you’re not ready to see a limp dick today. God really do have mercy.
A girl slid her hands around Jaehyun’s chest. Despite her bedraggled hair, she is much fully clothed— maybe the clothes on the floors all belongs to Jaehyun. But you’re sure you’ve seen a female underwear— so the girl is not wearing her panties inside that body-fitted dress? You gulped down the thoughts. People could be really wild sometimes.
Wet, sloppy kisses filled the whole floor. You could only assume that the girl was giving open-mouthed kisses to Jaehyun’s back.
“Until next time baby,” She cooed, grabbing his crotch— grabbing his crotch?!— in front of you. She made it seem like there’s nobody standing there with them. You wanted to gag, but there was something in Jaehyun’s eyes as he looked at you while the girl literally shoved her hand inside his pajamas, doing God-knows-what with his penis.
The intensity of his stare suddenly makes it harder for you to breath. You felt something in your stomach uncurl as Jaehyun’s mouth slightly parted by the pleasure he’s currently feeling. Run, damn it. But your body felt leaden and you couldn’t move your feet. As much as you wanted to deny it, Jaehyun’s pleasured face made you feel hot all over. To your face down and in between your legs.
If the girl doesn’t stop giving Jaehyun a handjob, and if Jaehyun, himself, wouldn’t stop staring at you with that gaze, your knees would absolutely collapse any time soon. And as if Jaehyun saw your predicament, he pushed the girl away.
“See you soon,” Jaehyun muttered. Then the girl leaned forward, giving his neck a sloppy kiss.
You tucked the strands of you hair behind your ear, suddenly embarrassed of letting yourself watch the little scene that unfolded before you. The sound of heels echoed everywhere when the girl walked past, completely ignoring your whole existence. Like you didn’t just see her give your boss a handjob.
Jaehyun walked towards you while drinking the liquor in one go. Eyebrow already raised as he stood face to face with you. You didn’t meet his gaze, for the fear that he might see how flustered you were right now. And you didn’t want to give him any satisfaction of knowing that you were affected of his little foreplay exhibit.
You cleared your throat then offered him the parcel, “Here.”
He pointed the sofa with his lips. You have no other choice but to oblige. Heaviness tried to pull on your feet as you walked to the sofa, your nerves still in a frenzy as you lay the parcel above the cushion.
Jaehyun was still standing behind you, watching you like a prey he’s not sure whether to kill or to let go. Either way, you forced your feet to move, and walked past him. You have no more business to do for him, and you badly wanted to go home. The scene the two of them made in front of you is enough to knock your consciousness and put you in a coma. And maybe you’d need a dextrose full of holy water to cleanse your body.
He stopped you by holding your arm, “Where are you going?”
You deadpanned, “Home.”
“The kitchen is there. Make me something to eat,” He pointed with his finger, with the hand still holding the empty glass.
You stared at him, not believing his words. He didn’t just order you to make him food when he literally made some random girl give him a handjob while you’re watching, right? What kind of drug is he inhaling? You badly want to try some. Just to become as detached as him.
“It’s Sunday, Jaehyun.” You reminded him, dropping all the professionalism to make him remember that he couldn’t boss you around outside of work. And that he should probably head inside a church and cleanse his soul of anything ungodly lurking within. But of course, you didn’t say that.
“Don’t make me repeat it again.” He warned, then walked back to his room, leaving you irritated. To do what, you have no idea— maybe he’ll jer— okay, calm down Y/N.
There’s no point making sense with Jung Jaehyun. The man thinks he owns everything and everyone around him. He’s standing on a pedestal higher than your own height. You know you can’t argue with people like that. So you trekked the direction Jaehyun motioned earlier, and then you found the kitchen. It’s a U-shaped kitchen with an island on the center. Floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the tall buildings outside.
You placed your bag above the island, then you sauntered up to the two-door refrigerator. Of course, even his refrigerator screams ‘rich’, full of goods you bet he doesn’t even try to cook nor eat. You grabbed something that is easy to cook— eggs. Maybe you’ll make a soufflé egg, or a pancake— or maybe a meal that he could eat until dinner. Then you shook your head and reminded yourself not to be frustrated over what he wants. He’s a grown ass man, he could take care of himself.
Yes, he’s a grown ass man who could definitely take care of himself. But here you are, cooking soy garlic chicken for him. Jaehyun was still nowhere to be found, giving your head at least the peacefulness it deserves.
You pondered about what happened earlier. A girl moaning inside his room, then that girl giving him a handjob in front of you. The realization of him kissing another girl after he kissed you hit home. It shouldn’t even hurt you, but it did. Does he badly wants to rub your kiss off his lips? Of course it was a mistake, you know that. But it didn’t feel wrong to you.
What is wrong with me?
You calmed yourself by drinking a glass of cold water, forcing to forget everything like how you forced to swallow the cold liquid. But you know that’s impossible. You couldn’t just forget a kiss like that.
To keep your mind off things, you decided to make a coffee for Jaehyun. The chicken is all ready, but he still locked up on his room. He should really give you a large bonus for your effort of dressing his breakfast plate. You laid all the food in the dining table: soufflé eggs, vegetable salad, hotdogs, soy garlic chicken, rice, and his coffee.
Jaehyun showed up the same moment you gathered your bag to go. He’s wearing fresh clothes on: black shirt with a new and clean sweatpants, hair still wet and his face looking refreshed. Obvious that he just got out of shower. You stopped yourself from asking what could be his skincare routine when you remembered that rich people like him doesn’t need one.
He eyed the foods laid on his dinner table, you’re sure it’s his first time seeing that many dishes for his breakfast. Did you overdo it? The sudden thought of making an effort for him made you blush. You’ve never cooked food for someone other than your mother and Yuqi before. The reality of doing it for the first time for someone— let alone a man— flustered you.
“I left some of the chicken in the oven, you can heat it up later for dinner. Eat well.” You started to walked away, but he grabbed you again when you trudge past him.
You inhaled, closing your eyes. What is it again? Somehow, being this close to him made you feel lightheaded. Because of what? You don’t know and you don’t want to know. The mere touch of his fingers could send electric bolts in your whole body and you didn’t like the way he makes you nervous just by being near.
“What more do you want, Jaehyun?” You snapped.
He doesn’t let go of your hand when he said, “Aside from sipping a nice and warm coffee, maybe I want you to bend over this very table so I can fuck you raw,”
Jesus Christ. The next thing you heard was a loud slap of skin to skin. You stare at him, dumbfounded with a stinging palm. His cheeks turned ruddy by the contact.
His head was still in a sideway position when he smirked. You could hear your own heartbeat in your ears, so loud and so frantic you thought you’d go deaf.
“Do you… do you really want a lawsuit filed against you, Jaehyun?” Surprisingly, your voice box is still working on your throat.
If Jaehyun could laugh because of your statement, he would. But he only stared at you as if you’re the whole circus.
“I’d like to see you try, chérie.”
The caress of his voice made your skin prickle. You dared stare at his eyes, into those dark orbs no one could ever read. Hatred that no one could quenched stared back at you, with the intensity of the storm that lies within fueling it. Convoluted as it was, the hatred isn’t meant for you. It’s more like a tattoo, permanent in his eyes. But hatred isn’t the only thing that was reflected in those eyes— there was something else: desire. You shivered. In defiance of the hate that’s showing vehemently on his irises, you couldn’t deny that Jaehyun’s beauty is not of this world. With his face looking ethereal like that, he could be a deity.
“I’m… going.” You gulped down saliva, trying to salve your thundering heart. He did not say anything, not a word when you turned your back on him and walked away.
But you could swear you felt him looking at your retreating back all the way to the door.
—
Jaehyun stared at the foods lay before him on the table. Unable to process why did you cook so many. He palmed his cheek before sitting, feeling like a thousand ant is crawling on his skin, the others biting. It was well-deserved though, for being so callous of his words. Yet the words that came out of his mouth was not a joke, just ended up lecherous. And the emotion on your face while you watch Mina giving him a handjob flashed in his mind without warning.
There and there, in your spot, with your innocent doe eyes trying not to run from the scene made something in him twitch. But your expression was so priceless— forcing yourself to not give up any emotion as you watch them. It made him feel hotter, hornier even. That if he could pushed Mina away and grabbed you just to kiss you as he did in your living room yesterday night, he would. Yet a force inside him locked him in place, reminding him that the kiss you shared was nothing but the result of his impulsive ass.
He tried to erase it, you know. He tried to erase your soft lips— tasting of everything sweet against the cruelty etched in his— but he couldn’t. The way you kissed him back made him mad— mad at himself for enjoying it, mad at his heart for feeling something familiar. A familiarity he buried together with Aurora.
He tried to shake it off by grabbing the hips of the unfamiliar girl underneath him, sure it’s going to leave bruises. Her fake squealing and moaning filled the whole house, but it didn’t even reach the emptiness inside him. So unlike the brief kiss you shared that sparked the fire long smoldered in his system.
He fucked her ‘til you arrived, just to let you know that what you shared was wrong. Not because he didn’t want it— heck, if he could claim you here and there, he would— but because he couldn’t taint another human being with the evil inside him. And he couldn’t afford to go down the path of trying to be good, just to be reminded that he’s not. And never will be.
What he felt for you, he couldn’t quite understand. When he sees you, he feels excited— alive even. And he’s certain Aurora would’ve cried of happiness if she knew he’s feeling something towards another girl again, after so many fucking years. After all, it was her wish before she blew out her last breath. For him to never forget love, instead cherish it. Hold on to it. Because it was salvation, she said. Yet Jaehyun couldn’t still believe it, if it was salvation, why does it feel punishment? Because it is a punishment, you fool, he whispered to himself.
He thanked his phone ringing of saving him into his thoughts. The name Johnny Seo displayed in the screen. He slide the green button, turning it on speakers.
“Bastard,”
“Puppy,” He reared back. Johnny is an alpha, and calling him puppy always raged him. Which is why Jaehyun branded him the name, to piss him off.
“I fucking hate you, you know that?” The wolf retaliated. Jaehyun nodded, taking a bite of his food.
“Anyways, you do know that my birthday is in four days, right? Or you don’t?”
Jaehyun could even see Johnny’s brow rising.
“I don’t. Birthdays are dramatic,” He prattled.
“Yes, because you don’t have one dickhead.” Johnny laughed.
If Jaehyun was an emotional wreck of an angel, he would’ve been hurt. But it’s the truth. He doesn’t celebrate birthdays because he doesn’t have one. He came into this world without going through the process of a mother’s pregnancy. But Johnny, and his whole pack of wolf has, being that they were all human once. Chaelin is the only one who shares the same struggle as him.
When Jaehyun didn’t bother to say anything, Johnny continued his sentence. “I’m celebrating it here, of course, in London.”
So the bastard is in London, Jaehyun whispered in his mind.
“You better go or else I’m pulling out my share in your company.” Johnny threatened. He would’ve laugh. Jaehyun is richer than all of Johnny and his pack of wolf’s riches combined. But he’s already planning to go to London for business, and he thought seeing how his comrades are faring with life every now and then isn’t a bad idea.
“I’m coming,”
“Come in my stomach then,” Johnny laughed.
It took Jaehyun a second to realize the joke. “Damn you, Seo.”
Johnny continued to laugh. Jaehyun attempted to pressed the red button when Johnny said something that perked his ear.
“Bring Y/N. Everyone will go. Including Taeyong’s clan and Doyoung’s group of warlocks.” — He said your name like you’re a friend— “Say I’m inviting her. I’ll handle her ticket, I know it’d hurt your ego to handle a pretty lady’s fare.”
“Shut the fuck up Seo, she’s not coming with me.” Jaehyun stated in a clipped tone. The thought of you meeting Johnny’s pack and Taeyong’s clan made his temper boil. At least you’re safe with Doyoung and the other warlocks if ever.
“Shall I call her myself then? She does not need to fly with you. She could arrive first, your choice.”
Jaehyun knows Johnny has his ways to contact you despite not knowing your number. And he couldn’t think straight of the possibility of you flying alone to London. Without him by your side.
“No, she’s my secretary. It’s just right that she flies with me.”
“You’re one hell of a complicated douchebag, Jung J—”
Jaehyun pressed the red button, not letting Johnny finish his sentence. Then he continued to eat, the thought of you going to London with him making him zestful than usual.
Then he remembered the forgotten canvas lying on his sofa. He stood up immediately and dashed to the living room only to slow down when he’s near. Heart thudding against his chest, a reminder that Aurora still have a part of him wrapped around her fingers.
He sat and stare at the parcel for a whole five-minutes. Readying himself to see the canvas inside that he knows too well— like the back of his hand. He grabbed it and slowly tear the thick carton wrapped in it.
Every inch of color sending bolts in his body. The familiar feeling of the canvas in his palms taking the breath out of him. He continued to tear the carton until nothing is left wrapped up around the art.
There it is. Aurora’s painting. In his hands. After so many years, he finally found the courage to stare at it. And the feeling is overwhelming. It’s overwhelming to see his own self, painted in the canvas made by the girl he loved more than life itself.
Of course Aurora knew.
Of course she knew that he was The Fallen.
And she never once judged him. Unlike all the people in the world, Aurora never turned her back on him despite knowing the truth.
That’s why his world crumbled for the second time when she died,— the only person who understood that Lucifer, himself, also needed love— slipping away from his fingers.
The art was wonderfully preserved, with only little to no dents. The pigments weren’t as bright as he remembers, but it’s the art of Aurora nonetheless.
His wings, the glowing of it intelligently captured by her. It made his lips slightly bend into a smile. But it quickly receded when he noticed something on the face. A detail he doesn’t remember noticing when he first saw the canvas one hundred years ago. A… tear?
It was so small, but it’s surely not a dent. For when he looked at it, the pigment stared right back at him.
—
You feel like shit when you came back home. It felt like you trekked a whole mountain from the unrest that you feel inside. Your bones feel heavy, your eyes too. And you blame Jaehyun and that girl for it. Her face, and her lips pressed into Jaehyun’s skin made you unexpectedly irritated. The mere thought of her sleeping on his bed made everything worse than it is.
Sure, she’s maybe a supermodel, or an actress, or an influential person and you’re just a secretary barely hanging on to life— but you could feel that the bond you have with Jaehyun is more meaningful than what they possibly have. Hearing yourself prattle about your vexation towards the girl and your boss, you tugged on your hair. You’re saying nonsense, Y/N. Of course, you and Jaehyun do not have any ‘bond’ to begin with and—
“Are you okay?” Yuqi looked up from her notes to you.
At her words, you realized that you’re already standing in the living room.
“Of-of course,” You blinked.
Yuqi shook her head, “Yes, Jaehyun and you do not have any bond. What else?” She teased.
Oh, so you said the words aloud. Your cheeks heated by Yuqi’s teasing. She’s just caught you thinking about your boss, and heard you blathering nonsense in the air.
Frustrated by everything, you decided to just paint something. The canvas from your dream begging to be recreated. You changed your clothes and readied your materials. Luckily, there’s a remaining canvas resting at the corner of your room, slightly smaller than the one in your dream but that could do.
You tied your hair in a messy bun before securing your canvas on to the easel, placing it facing the only window you have in your room. Light filters through, but not hot enough to make you wince. The weather is perfect with the sun hiding in the thick clouds.
Making yourself comfortable on the stool, you grabbed the canvas again. Hugging it onto the crook of your arm and tracing lines here and there to make the shape of the falling angel. The passion burning in your fingers prevented you from taking a rest, albeit your neck is starting to freeze and cramp.
Craning your neck left to right, you stare at the sketch. You couldn’t proclaim that it’s the same as your dream for the lack of colors it has, so you started to mixed oil pigments, with the hues of the painting from your dreams being your guide. You mixed blues for the skies, whites for the angel’s silk robe wrapped in his waist, blacks, reds, and oranges for the smoldering wings. But the one color you’ve had a hard time figuring out is the iridescence coating his wings. You needed your phone to search how to mix colors that’d look gleaming against the canvas. In the midst of your search, you’ve found out knowledge beyond what you expected.
Lucifer was God’s favorite angel. You could see it in his wings— for it glows unlike any other angels.
So, the painting must be an interpretation of Lucifer? You wondered.
Shiver like no other covered your body, the divine knowledge sipping in your mind. Because of that, you became more eager to finish the canvas. After mixing a lot of pigments and trying it to different papers, you’ve finally succeeded in making a glowing color. You laid the small jar on your study table, careful not to spill a drop, and continued to paint all around the sketch.
Yuqi called for you to dinner, the only time you allowed yourself to rest. You straightened your back and massaged your palms, numb from all the drawings and paintings you did. Before departing your room, you stare at the canvas. It’s not even halfway through, so you couldn’t make out the result in your head yet. You supposed you can continue painting it once you have the time, since it’s obvious that you wouldn’t be able to finish it today despite wanting to.
“What’s that you’re working on? Commission?” Yuqi asked as she swallowed a spoonful of ramen soup.
“Nope. Just… had an idea.”
Still, you remained quiet about your dreams. Not that anyone could understand them. You couldn’t decipher them yourself. And you know it’s best to keep them a secret for now.
Your phone lit up in the corner of the table, a text had just arrived. While munching on your food, you slid it open.
[We’re heading to London in three days. Send me your infos. Got it covered. Don’t ask too much questions.]
You forcefully swallowed your food, not wanting your mouth to spit it. Throat tightening, you drank a glass of water.
“What is it?” Yuqi asked, patting your back and peeking on the screen. “London?!” She exclaimed upon reading the message. You could only nod.
Jaehyun told you to book him a flight to London. It never occurred to you that he needed you to accompany him. The thought of flying to London with him gave you the good kind of goosebumps. But you didn’t allow your emotions to get the best of you. You typed in a reply.
[Okay, Sir. E-mailing it to you now.] But you really wanted to type in all-caps and make sure that you’re really coming with him.
You’re not certain you could get enough sleep tonight.
—
Days went on in a blur, and now you find yourself seated across Jaehyun in a first class plane. You decided not to move much, for you don’t have any idea how should you act around. Jaehyun does not spare you any glance at all. He’s reading a book for an hour now, completely ignoring your presence.
But before you got on the plane, he told you the real reason of bringing you with him after days of not telling you. Johnny’s birthday is tomorrow, and he invited you. The mere thought of him remembering you as you are and not as Jaehyun’s secretary warmed your heart. Unfortunately, you couldn’t buy an expensive watch or necktie for him so you sticked to what you do best— drawing. You drew him for days, leaving the other canvas you’re working on in the corner of your room. You could only hope that Johnny would like the gift.
Many things agitated you the whole hours that you’re sitting or leaning on your seat. Like, what would you wear? It’s not like you could wear your uniform in there. And you have no money to buy a dress. The money you have in your wallet is only enough to buy you, Yuqi, and Soojin souvenirs. As for Yuta, after days of trying to contact you and bombarding your phone with text messages, he finally gave up. You still haven’t had the guts to talk to him about his and Jaehyun’s brawl. Jaehyun never opened the conversation to you, too.
There’s many things that he does not try to address to you; the kiss, the little scene he made on his own house, and his comment about your soy garlic chicken. Yes, you bloody want him to say at least something about the food you prepared. But days had passed, no words came out of his mouth. He’s back to being the most cold-hearted man yet again.
You shifted on your seat, trying to rest your eyes. Jaehyun said there’s still three hours remaining before you land— the only thing he’s said to you. Clearing your mind off your thoughts, you close your eyes. This time, there’s no dream that accompanied the void in you.
You felt a nudge in your arm, Jaehyun’s voice looming around you, waking you up. The sting in your eyes hit the moment you opened them, squinting against the light around you. You noticed a small blanket wrapped around you, not remembering the moment you wrapped yourself in it.
“That… is the attendant’s doing.” Jaehyun pointed out, staring at you. And honestly? He didn’t need to do that. You know his personality too well to even assume that he’s the one who did it.
“We’re landing in five minutes,”
—
You arrived in Ridgemount Hotel after a hectic ride on a limo rented by Jaehyun, himself. Hectic because none of you uttered a word, your mouth has gone dry and jetlag kicked it the moment you stepped inside. You couldn’t even bring yourself to read something for the pulsating ache in your head.
Jaehyun’s hotel room is located across from you. Of course, he would prefer to spend a lot of money that to be wise and stay with you to the same room. Not that it matters to you, anyway. You’re definitely alright being your own specie in your room.
You have no idea how long did you sleep the jetlag away. There were no messages from Jaehyun when you opened your phone. You guessed he’s also getting some rest for the party tomorrow now that will be celebrated at Guildhall. The moment Jaehyun told you the venue, your eyes almost fell from its sockets. You only see Guildhall when you browse the web for medieval halls in London, and now you’ll get there tomorrow evening. The excitement is unbearable. You could literally jump from happiness. But a loud knock on the door stopped you from flinging yourself on the soft mattress.
“Hi!”
“Ms. Chaelin?”
The woman is smiling at you, wearing a white cardigan with a large belt wrapped around her waist. What is she doing here?
“Come in!” You said, letting her precede you to the door.
“Oh, your room is so cozy.”
She scanned the room with interest before sitting on the bed and looking at you.
“You’re probably wondering why I am here bothering your beauty rest,” She laughed. “But I’m just wondering if we could, you know, have some fun before Johnny’s birthday.”
“I— I’m afraid I don’t have…” Your voice faded, the sudden embarrassment coating you. But Chaelin only smiled at you, her face gave up the notion of telling you not to worry about a penny.
“Don’t worry about it! Everything is on me.”
“I can’t possibly accept that, Miss.”
“Just call me Chaelin. Please let me treat you. I wanna make up to the last time we’ve met. I know it wasn’t pleasant.” She wheedled.
She’s talking about your first week at Jung’s Fiscals. You waved your hands to tell her not to worry about it.
“It’s okay… you don’t need to. If there’s a person who should be doing that, it’s Jaehyun.” You told her.
“Yes! That’s right. Jaehyun told me— oh, nevermind. Do you have anything to wear?”
Jaehyun told her what? You shrugged off the curiosity. By her question, you slowly shake your head. That’s a problem you’ve been pondering on for hours now.
“Then all the reason for me to treat you!” Chaelin wrapped her arms around yours, not giving you any chance to argue.
You changed into comfortable clothes, fit for hours of shopping you assumed would take place. Chaelin waited for you, scrolling through her phone the whole time. According to her, all of Johnny’s friends will attend the anticipated party of the year. Not to jump into prejudice, you assumed Johnny is the kind of guy who throws absolutely crazy parties by the way Chaelin anticipates the event.
Knowing about the attendance of Johnny’s friends is the sole reason why you’re trudging the shiny floors and garish interior of a famous boutique near the hotel you’re staying in. You sent a simple message to Jaehyun, informing him that you went outside with Chaelin. As usual, he did not bother to reply.
You and Chaelin had fun. She literally made you her own personal doll, pulling you in and out of boutiques to dig every clothes there is that would fit you. You let her do her fairy-godmother work, being that you are lacking knowledge when it comes to the matter of class and magnificence. And you trust her taste enough to let her on her mission of finding the best dress for you.
Every now and then, she tells you about her friendship with Jaehyun. Not that you ask, but it made you curious nonetheless. According to her, they’ve been friends for a really long time now. It made you think that maybe they’d met in their elementary school. But Chaelin did not give you any specific date of their first meeting.
The day went on, and now you find yourself staring at the dress and stiletto Chaelin bought you. A promise to pay her was answered with a scrunch of her nose, telling you not to worry about the money and that she gave you the things wholeheartedly, not expecting any payment. It didn’t make you feel comfortable, but at least you relaxed by the assurance of wearing something decent tomorrow.
The door suddenly clicked open, and you jumped by seeing Jaehyun. He stares at you for a minute, obviously wanted to say something, but he rubbed his nape and closed the door again.
What was that?
You shrugged but after a second, the door opened again, revealing your boss with his back straightened, ready to give orders.
“Eat with me,”
Jaehyun did not wait for you to answer, giving you no chance to change your clothes. You supposed your current attire was enough, so you trudge outside and followed him to the hotel’s hall.
He sat, food in his plate. You followed after mere minutes of filling yours with delicacies you don’t know the name and haven’t tasted yet in your whole life. Jaehyun said nothing, just silently bite and munch his food. This is your first time eating with him, and you noticed that he’s feminine when he eats. There’s nothing wrong about it though, you just found the way he dabs the napkin on his mouth and the way he munches food so quietly, fascinating.
A glut of silence enwrapped the air around you. It could literally suffocate you, so with all your might, you tried to talk to him.
“Why did you let me come with you?” You have no idea why did you ask such questions, but Jaehyun only looked at you as if he’s had any choice.
“Johnny requested,” His curt answer.
“Johnny’s birthday must be so special. You even took your time to celebrate it with him.” When he does not answer, you continued your talking, “How about you? When’s your birthday?”
By your question, Jaehyun dropped his fork on his plate, creating a loud clatter to make the other hotel guests turn on the both of you. But he quickly regained his composure, giving a curt nod to everyone as a way of excuse.
“I don’t— it’s next month. 14th.” His laconic response.
“Okay…” You said, wary of his sudden lack of control.
“Excuse me,” He said, pushing his chair with the back of his knees. You nodded at him. But even after finishing your meal, Jaehyun did not go back to finish his.
You went back on your room calculating if you’d said something to irk Jaehyun. He wasn’t exactly annoyed, just taken aback? Nevertheless, you’ve gathered one information about him, and that’s his birthday. You no longer want to vex yourself by his constant berating, you thought knowing something about him would help pave the way of your bond.
While thinking about what could you give Jaehyun on his birthday, you wrapped the canvas you’d give Johnny tomorrow. After ten-minutes of cutting and ribbon-tying, you changed into new clothes and slept, a smile creeping up your face as you think about the event tomorrow.
—
Spectacular is an understatement to describe the Guildhall. Its chandelier hang high in the ceilings, with curtains draping down around them and with lights illuminating their color against the columns standing as posts of the whole hall.
Tables are decorated with a sophisticated yet manly touch. You assumed Johnny requested for a medieval touch to adorn the venue, which the organizers did an absolutely amazing job on. You feel like you were back the past. The period movies you’ve seen and books you’ve read all coming back to you— every scene and every word you thought won’t come to life is here, in front of you. The overwhelming happiness sits on your stomach, waiting to be unleashed.
“Y/N!” Chaelin waved, then she walked towards you with a wine glass in one hand. Jaehyun excused himself the moment Chaelin arrived beside you. He walked towards a pool of boys gathering around Johnny. Someone clapped his back, a man his age. But the younger ones nodded at him, reverence clear in their faces.
“You look stunning, Chaelin.” You greeted. The woman is wearing a velvet dress, hugging her curves, with a fur scarf wrapped around her arms.
“No, you look magnificent, love!” She cheered, pulling your hand and swirling you playfully, both your laughs joining together.
You’re wearing a tulle long dress, a mixture of champagne and blue fabrics adorning it. The stiletto you wear goes with the same hue as the dress. To be honest, you felt slightly out of place when you arrived, for the people around you wears monotone colors only. And you obviously stand out. But now Chaelin is here, you felt the pressure being lifted off of you.
The event started when Johnny went on to the platform, thanking each and everyone of the guess for joining him on his day. The bellows and laughters of his friends stood out among the crowd, their cheers slightly distracting Johnny. Your eyes automatically searched for Jaehyun, despite not screaming with the other boys, he has an unusual and once in a lifetime smile on his lips which made him more handsome that he already is.
He wears a simple black tuxedo, with his hair neatly parted and brushed up, a cowlick straying on his forehead. The color of his suit accentuated his pale features, making him ethereal in your eyes once again. He shifted, and met your eyes in the crowd.
His beauty locked you in your place with a heart thudding as you continued staring at him. He lifted his glass with a curt nod, a silent sign for you to enjoy the night. The small gesture made your heart swell in happiness even more, so you smiled at him. And he smiled back.
The evening moved on. You remained in your location, Chaelin giving you company. Johnny’s still walking around the venue, greeting acquaintances. And Jaehyun, he’s still talking with his friends.
“Aren’t you friends with them?” You suddenly asked Chaelin. She whirled at you before taking a sip of her drinks. Then she looked at the men surrounding Jaehyun in a sideway glance.
“Oh yes. Been friends with them for a really long time now. I’ve seen some of them grow up into the man they are today.” There was passion and love in her voice that you didn’t expect to hear. “That boy is Jeno,” She pointed at a boy with the warmest eyesmile, “We’re probably the closest, aside from Jaehyun. I adore that pup, quiet but knows when to enjoy.” She has that certain smile with her now, her eyes twinkling. Then she pulled you towards the boys suddenly.
“Let’s meet them!” She cheered. Although you were nervous in every step that you took, you let her sway you towards the men. Jaehyun met your eyes the moment you stood in front of them.
“Who’s this pretty lady?” A tall guy emerged from nowhere, bright smile directed at you. He was nudged by a smaller man.
“Jaehyun’s date,”— then he whirled towards you, offering his hands for a handshake— “I’m Ten.” You took his hand, expecting for a handshake, but instead he kissed it. Loud cheers emerged from the group, making you blush.
All of them shook your hands then, and you noticed they were glancing at Jaehyun as they did so, like they’re waiting for his permission.
“You must be Y/N?” The guy with a red hair emerged from nowhere. You slightly jump from his appearance; red hair, pale features, and his eyes, there’s a little red in his irises. Jesus Christ, he was beautiful.
“I’m Taeyong,” He offered his hand, then you shook it, still mesmerized by his exquisiteness. Taeyong, then, started to entertain you with his stories, never leaving your side until people started to slow dance in the middle of the hall. He excused himself then walked towards a pretty woman. You watched as almost everyone danced. Chaelin was with a boy you remembered named Doyoung. Seeing everyone enjoying themselves, it felt lonely suddenly. Out of place, even.
Then for the third time that night, Jaehyun met your eyes across the room. He’s got a wine glass in his hand while looking at you. Then seconds later, he drank all the contents, leaving the glass to the care of the waitress. Jaehyun walked towards you, every step making your heart beat louder, faster. He walked the earth like he’s a king. His mere steps could make the world stop on its spinning.
Then he’s standing before you, offering you his hand.
“Are you gonna dance with me or…?” He asked, the baritone of his voice sending you shivers. You locked eyes with him then took his hand. His eyes, never leaving yours too.
The slow music lulls the whole place with its softness. Jaehyun held your hip in one hand, and your hand in the other. Your heart maybe thundering, but deep in it, you know you’re in the safe place. You’ve never felt like this your whole life— like you’re becoming something other than the girl you are. There’s an ember inside you as you looked at Jaehyun’s eyes. A small fire waiting to be ignited. His familiar scent whiffed your nose as he spins you away and towards him. The familiarity of his face is staggering, yet you blame your dreams for it.
Your faces were too close, so close in the edge of the music. One push, and you’ll kiss in front of the people. One push it all it takes— then the music stopped. You held on to each other for a bit longer before Jaehyun guided you towards your table.
“I’ll get us drinks,” He whispered.
Your head was still swimming with the feel of dancing of Jaehyun when Johnny approached you, eyes bright. He automatically has his hand lifted for a high-five.
“Hey!” He called out.
“Happy birthday, Mr. Seo!”
“Please, just Johnny Y/N.”
You practiced the name with your mind before saying it out loud, “Happy birthday, Johnny!”
“There! Better!” He laughed but stopped when he saw the wrapped gift above your table, “Is that for me?”
“Uh, yes. I’m sorry this is all I could afford.”
“No, no, Y/N! Whatever is this, I’ll cherish it.” He smiled at you, “What is it by the way? You know, I really get too giddy whenever I receive gifts.”
“Oh, a portrait of you.”
His mouth formed a big ‘O’, asking for permission to open the gift, you told him yes since it’s his now. Johnny’s eyes bore an amazement that made you flustered. He stared and stared at the portrait.
“Wow, I am really touched, Y/N. Thank you for this.” Said he. You waved your hand to tell him it’s alright.
But then his eyebrows creased, his face shows an expression that of remembering something. Then he put his finger on his lips, contemplating the portrait.
“I know someone who had a similar art style as you,”
“Really? Who is he?”
You waited for Johnny to answer, an unfamiliar agitation rests in your bones by every second that passes of not knowing who the person might be. Then he snapped his fingers, creating a sound.
“Yes! I remember now! You have the same style as Aurora!”
If Johnny could clap, he absolutely would. You sat there, speechless. His other compliments were drowned by your screaming thoughts.
Aurora.
He said your art style is similar to Aurora’s.
Whoever she might really be, the mention of her name— specially in real life— never failed to send shivers down your spine.
You gulped and asked Johnny, “Who is Aurora?”
“None of your business,” The man behind you answered. Jaehyun.
You wanted to tell him she’s not ‘none of your business’. She was a product of your imagination, she was. And now the people around you knows her name. Johnny knows her. Jaehyun calls out for her name in your dreams. Your intuition tells you something is going on. But your throat has gone dry. No matter how much you wanted to tell Jaehyun that you dreamed about Aurora often, no words came out of your mouth. Your body feels heavy. And you know, you’re scared. Scared of the answers once you ask.
Aside from night black hair and blue eyes, who really are you, Aurora?
—
#jung jaehyun au#jaehyun imagines#jung jaehyun imagines#yuno imagines#nct imagines#nct au#yuno au#pls leave some feedbacks i would really appreciate it!!#tHANK YOUUU!!!
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Moonbeam - Poe Dameron x reader
A/n: It’s currently 3:58 am when I’m posting this so I literally don’t know if this is any good. I wrote it in like an hour and a half after getting inspiration from who knows what. Also this is my first comfort fic any criticism is welcome.
Rating: G
Warnings: None really, a palm get cut but that’s really it
Word count: 1.4k (I’m trying to teach myself to write smaller fics)
Summary: Poe finds his mechanic crying her eyes out in the middle of the night. He can’t just do nothing.
Poe Dameron never slept well the night before a mission. Too many possibilities flying around in his head. Tonight was no different, and he could only stare at the ceiling of his room for so long before he started to get stir crazy.
Which is why he found himself aimlessly wandering the tarmac, looking for something to hold his attention for more than a few seconds. It was an overcast night so he couldn’t even look out to the stars. It was strange to see the base so dead, it would be the perfect time for an attack. Poe quickly shook that idea out of his head, the last thing he needs before a mission is being afraid of something happening while he isn’t there. He’s had enough nightmares about that alone for it to invade his waking hours.
However, there was one singular light left on, probably by a mechanic who forgot to turn it off before turning in for the night. The light shot across the tarmac like a moonbeam. A stark contrast to the overwhelming darkness that surrounded it.
He was completely in his own head until a noise snapped him out of it. He couldn’t even identify it. It was sort of rhythmic, it kept happening in short bursts… Was someone crying?
He followed the noise around for a moment, finding that it led him to his X-wing and the light. He hid behind a stack of crates and peeked around the corner, his field agent instincts kicking in for some reason. It was his mechanic, Y/n, quietly sobbing into her hands. The sight alone shattered Poe’s heart. To see someone so strong, the moonbeam of the Resistance who always punched a hole through the darkness, so upset was devastating. Poe’s stomach dropped, something really bad must have happened for her to be in such a state.
He hid back behind the crates, trying to think of a way to go about the situation in front of him. He felt an unnatural wave of anxiety roll over him, he wanted to help her but didn’t know if he would like what he would be told. He shook his head. Fuck it, he thought. His friend was in need and he’d be damned if he doesn’t do something about it.
“Y/n?” He called out as he rounded the crates, finally coming into view of the scene before him. Tools littered the ground and a panel was missing from the belly of his ship. At the sound of her name, Y/n jumped out of her skin and started frantically wiping away tears, as if her red face wouldn’t give it away.
“Hi,” She said, voice tight and shaky. “What are you doing up so late?” She asked with a sniffle. If Poe’s heart could break any more, it definitely did.
“I think the real question is what’s going on with you?” He asked before sitting down next to her on an overturned crate. His question just made her sob more, he didn’t know why, but he rubbed her back and waited patiently for her to calm down. Poe pulled her head to rest on his shoulder, his cheek resting on the crown of her head. “It’s alright.” He whispered. “Why are you crying, doll? I can’t stand to see you like this.”
“It’s a long story,” She swallowed hard before continuing. “It’s really stupid.” Poe squeezed her shoulder, making her melt even more into his embrace.
“Whatever it is, I’m sure I’ve done something stupider.” She scoffed at this, making Poe feel just a bit better. She took a second, staring at the ground. Poe pulled his head back and could see the gears turning in hers.
“I think I’ve just been really stressed out lately. So many X-wings are coming in and the mechanics are so understaffed to the point where I can’t even remember the last time I slept for more than maybe two hours.” She had to compose herself again, silently cursing herself out for this long explanation Poe probably wasn’t even asking for. She always rambled when her Commander was near, he seems to just have that effect on people. And the massive crush she’d had on him for a modest two years certainly didn’t help. “So I was just trying to check on one of your S-foils because you said it was being annoying last time and I went to put the panel back when I was done and the corner cut my hand and,” Oh, gods, the tears are back, she thought.
“And that was what broke the dam?” She nodded. He reached for her hands, pointing the palms towards the light. Sure enough, an ugly gash stretched about an inch up her palm. It looked painful.
“And the stupidest part is that it doesn’t even hurt that bad.” She said, trying to laugh, but a fresh stream of tears said otherwise. Poe was quick to wipe them away.
“Tell you what,” His hands held her chin gently and tilted it towards him. It was the first time Y/n was brave enough to look him in the eye. His eyes were glassy, too. It hurt like a knife to see someone so close to him in so much pain, physical or emotional. “How about you come back to my room, I’ll fix up your hands, and we’ll see if you can get a good night’s sleep that’s more than two hours, okay?” His offer was tempting, and her eyelids were getting heavy from crying them out.
“But what about your ship?” She whispered, her throat still so tight she couldn’t control her voice.
“Don’t even worry about it. I’m no mechanic but I think I can handle one panel all by myself.” She smiled at that, and Poe’s heart soared. The annoying little voice in the back of his head told him to kiss her then and there, but he quickly ignored it. “So what do you say?” Her hand tightened around his.
“I’d really like that.” He raised her uninjured hand to his lips and placed a kiss on it. He tried to ignore the voice, but he’s only human.
“Perfect.” He stood up, Y/n following in suit. He turned the light illuminating his ship off, the only moonbeam that mattered to him was right in his hand.
The walk back to his room was quick, it was definitely bigger than hers. Perks of being a higher up, she guessed. They sat on his bed with a med kit open in between them. Poe’s hands moved with finesse, he’d hurt himself on accident enough times to know what to do. When her hand was wrapped in a bandage, Poe dug around his dresser for an old shirt she could wear. He finally found one of some band from Yavin IV she’d never heard of. He must have loved the shirt because of how soft the fabric was on Y/n’s skin.
“I hope you don’t mind sharing the bed.” He said, pulling back the covers. “You don’t, right?” He asked with a sudden urgency.
“No, I figured this was the plan anyway.” She said, her face a little red from the idea of being in his bed when he doesn’t have a shirt on and her whole legs were out on display.
“Good, come here.” He said as he climbed into bed and beckoned her to follow, which she did happily. It took a bit of shifting around to find a position comfortable for the both of them, but they were content with Y/n’s head resting on Poe’s chest with his arms wrapped around her shoulders. His heartbeat and the rising and falling of his chest was almost enough to rock her to sleep.
“If you ever have to talk about stuff like that again, come find me, okay. It isn’t healthy to keep it all bottled in.” He said, fingers carding through her hair.
“Even if it’s stupid?” She asked, only partly joking.
“Even if it’s stupid, if it’s serious, if it’s everything in between. You can tell me anything. I want you to know that.”
“Thank you.” She whispered into his chest. Poe responded by planting a kiss to the top of her head before turning off the overhead light. This must be what bliss feels like, he thought. Holding close the woman he loves, not that he’d ever admit it was love because he was a stubborn bastard and he knew it. But still, it felt pretty good.
Even though he had his mission tomorrow, and she had a long line of ships to fix in the morning, they slept better than they had in years.
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ok so i wrote this short scene like 4 weeks ago bc i couldn’t get this scenario out of my head. It’s the first time ive ever written ANYTHING so be nice to me pls. Anyways here it fucking is. (oh and btw this is post tros/canon divergence)
finn and his boyfriend poe are talking in the main room of the base.
"ya know im kinda starting to .... like ben a little bit." poe tells him "really? i guess i get along with him and somewhat understand him but liking the guy??" finn says doubtfully.
"well at least he seems to be very helpful to our cause."
then a noise from outside of the main room rings in their ears, sounding like ... giggling.
"i didn’t see you for a whole 3 hours, i missed you, your face, ... your lips." rey says blissfully
"i know sweetheart but maybe we shouldn’t be doing this in the middle of the hall." ben says while smiling "people here are still just warming up to me after all and i don’t wanna make such an .... inappropriate impression." ben says.
rey kisses him one more time & ben can’t help but give as much passion as she demands. "okay maybe you’re right." rey says seeing his point. They stare at each other in comfortable silence for a few seconds.
"I never thought I’d have this." ben says still not believing that this beautiful woman is currently in his arms. " have what?" rey asks
"you, your love, people not taking advantage of my power. im not sure I even deserve this." ben says almost in disbelief. "you do!" rey assures him.
"do you think someday.... we... can settle down somewhere?.. like a house or something, our own home?" ben asks nervously needing to ask her this because he had been thinking about it since they came back from exagol a few months ago.
rey starres at him, eyes full of love and wonder. "i do."
ben gives her the biggest smile since exagol. "i used to dream... about having a home that is surrounded by flowers & green .. just beautiful colors of nature you know." ben starres and listens to her with so much love in his eye rey might start crying. "maybe we can find something like that by any chance." rey says hopefully "we will! i promise you, you'll have the most beautiful garden in the galaxy rey!" rey smiles at him and can’t help but kiss him again. Ben doesn’t mind and smiles into the kiss while rey giggled and goes in again and again and again.
"okay i think actually finn and poe wanted something from me so i'll see you in a bit?" rey says. "absolutely, i'll go ask rose if she needs any help with fixing one of the x wings." ben says. "alright see you later love." rey says, this is isn’t the first time she called him that but ben still can not quite believe it everytime it comes out her mouth. And with one more kiss or... five with they part with rey smiling and laughing while opening the door to the main room.
finn looked at his best friend.
"well someone’s giddy!" he says playfully as he sees the genuine happiness radiating from her.
#OKAY SO#like i said ive never written anything before#& the dialogue is a lil messy in between#bUT... ain’t it cute#reylo#reylo fic#reylo oneshot#ben solo#rey
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hi poosie 💞🌺💘 im going w 3 nights by dominic fike; emotional by okaywil; honest by the neighborhood; devil i know by allie x; sweet disposition by the temper trap; very nice by seventeen; moonlight by dhruv; rain by ben platt; home by phillip phillips; just friends by jordy; timebomb by walk the moon; cross my heart by marianas trench; shatter me by lindsey striling; paris is burning by st vincent; arrival of the birds by the cinematic orchestra; nyc girl by the orion experience; relay by fiona apple; dnd by glaive; sympathy by vampire weekend; december 1963 by frankie valli & the four seasons; and step with me by mika.
if ur thinking ‘h what the fuck’ you & i would b thinking the same thing. i kept adding songs bc im like ‘ah shit what if they hate the one i suggested?’ so i added 2 more. and then yk . i kept adding until my spotify app weirdly refreshed and i took it as a sign from god to stfu and finish the list so !!! that’s what i have !!! i hope ur having a lovely lovely day & that u like at Least one on this list 💓❣️💘🌺💞‼️
i’m gonna tell u what i think of each song BUT i’m putting it under a read more lkdhfbf
1. 3 nights: i realized i’ve actually heard this one BUT not the whole song so it’s ok! i like it it’s v chill v vibey it sounds like streetlights reflecting off a wet road <3 (i am incapable of describing songs with adjectives)
2. emotional: the instrument in the background of this is rly cool idk it’s like. it kinda sounds like hitting spoons on a glass but more musical & almost piano like? i rly like it tho, this song sounds like bright colors & peaches :D
3. honest: this one kinda sounds like one of those ones that makes ur brain go brrrr ‼️ its like. laced w something kfjbjsbfksnv musically it’s not rly my thing but i can appreciate it as a song <3
4. devil i know: i only know one allie x song (can’t stop now) so i wasn’t sure what this would sound like but it’s kinda insane??? the background vocals r so cool i love the humming :0 v sexie nd her voice is so beautiful omg
5. sweet disposition: this feels oddly familiar. i don’t think i’ve heard it tho. it kinda reminds me of say geronimo if u know that one? it sounds like adventure kind of, like it could be used in a travel vlog (complimentary)
6. very nice: aju NICE babababdadadabbabda!!!! i’ve heard this one but i don’t mind listening to it again <3 bop banger etc. good vocals amazing horns in the chorus also if u haven’t seen the choreo i would definitely recommend it it’s so fun
7. moonlight: this is so pretty omg 🥺 i got a mental image of like. sitting on top of a car w someone u love & watching a meteor shower on a clear night. very chill his voice is so lovely
8. rain: ben platt’s voice is gorgeous. this is not the type of music i would have expected from him though??? idk he doesn’t seem like the pop music type of person. i think i prefer some of his other music (cough grow as we go cough) but this is a solid song
9.. home: ive heard this but not since i was like 10 so the nostalgia i got from it,,,, :’) home also sounds like a travel vlog song a bit! i think its the oooohhhhhohohohs in the post chorus (?). this song just reminds me of my childhood i used to hear it all the time on the radio sitting in the backseat <3
10. just friends: I HAVE ALSO HEARD THIS BUT IDK WHERE the beginning played nd i was like wait a minute. OH!! its so nice i love how simple the instrumentals are & jordy has a rly pretty voice as well!! the melody is so addictive as well
halfway done! this is fun<3
11. timebomb: bop?? this could be used in the soundtrack to a romcom tv show directed at teenagers (once again. what are adjectives) it reminds me of when shut up and dance came out nd everyone was obsessed with it.. that was a better time i think
12. cross my heart: headbanging songs > the lyrics to this one r a little basic but thats ok not every song has to have deep profound lyrics that make u feel existential. this is certainly a banger yessir. the ending is cool too i love harmonies
13. shatter me: scawy... the imagery in this is insane "i pirouette in the dark" UM?? this sounds like a movie hello. imagine WAI HISNFVNKDNV THE DROP???? THE VIOLIN?????? i litrally just had to interrupt myself that was not an exaggerated reaction. ANYWAYS i was going to say: the movie scene im imagining is like. it keeps cutting between a girl doing ballet in dark, foggy lighting & a fight scene
14. paris is burning: dark alleyways & vintage movies!!! i enjoyed this more than i expected to? im picturing a girlboss character, maybe a spy? in all black & carrying a purse walking down the street. but she has to be wearing one of those black hats w a veil in the front & a flower on the brim, an ankle-length velvety black coat, & heels that go plonk on the cobblestone
15. arrival of the birds: THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL!!!! OMG! blue skies & green grass at a state park!!! i love it so much actually this went in my healing playlist <333 the way it built up in the best way.. tears
16. nyc girl: ok the guitar in the intro??? this is fuckign music truly one of the most songs ive ever heard. the bass fucks as well i rly like this one :D its so catchy im already bopping nd ik later im gonna b going "im gonna make u ma ha hine"
17. relay: the lyrics are so good???? its not a song that id probably listen to very often just bc its musically not my type of thing BUT i respect it a lot. shes obviously a super talented artist like i looked up the lyrics nd apparently she wrote the repeated line when she was 15??? i love what the song is about!
18. dnd: the production on the vocals is a lil bit strange but i like the song itself if that makes sense. its like mitam where the songs r mixed weirdly but i enjoy the songs anyway? i did think for abt a minute that the title referred to dungeons & dragons tho,, also i just looked up the artist and he is ALSO 15 what the FUCK
19. sympathy: the GUITARRRRR omg omgogmomg!! i rly love the whole intro like the first 30 seconds r just *chefs kiss*. OOH bass solo sexyyyyy i love prominent bass :D the instrumentals r really nice too & it reminds me of like. a heist? like a found family of thieves. this song would play as they were breaking into a museum or smth
20. december 1963: GROOVY! simply a fkin tune idk dude like this IS fun nd makes me think of roadtrips during the summer & also of walking along a dock in a harbor under the moonlight. very much floaty yellow dress vibes this song is just a mood booster
21. step with me: domestic. domesticity. thats it. no but the chorus is rly nice omg i like the melody!!! its so cute too the lyrics r so wholesome.. this sounds like an old couple thats been married for 50 years dancing to the radio in their kitchen <333 life goals
#thank u for so much new music !!!!#i need to organize my bangers playlist it’s so messy like there’s EVERYthing in there#asks#h 🕊
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pt.2 of yesterday
I don’t want to flood people’s dashes, so hopefully answering your messages here will suffice!
anonymous asked: Hi! I wanted to tell you how much I love your work and how you make me enjoy every Monday thanks to your regular updates ! I saw a previous anon telling you how your writings lacks of emotion and I totally disagree with them... obviously everybody won’t like it but your stories just DON’T lack of love or emotion this is madness I want to thank you for publishing your amazing stories freely here for everyone to read. (Sorry if my English is weird I’m french ejfjekfjd)
“this is madness” LOL
You’re hilarious, anon. And your english is perfectly fine!!!
anonymous asked: Hello! Im the culinary student anon who sent you an ask a while ago and i saw you received an ask about the lack of emotion from your stories. I read kitchen romance and i actually really really like it and don’t quite understand how it lacks in emotions as I interpreted the stories more like the beginning of the oc and jin’s love story and they are only starting to open up to each other so i guess thats why anon might feel like it lacks romantic vibe from both of the characters. (1)
Anonymous said: Just want to tell you that you’re one of the best writer and ive been following you for 2/3 years now, you never failed to amaze me with your writings!! All your stories are so well written that i sometimes wonder how do you come up with such an amazing plot every single time and your stories are always nice to re-read and the effort you pour into creating your stories is also admirable (2)
while i was reading kitchen romance and ive only started s&c (currently on chapter 4) i can say that its pretty similar with how it is irl (and the part where we find out jk is an iu fans reminded me of my ex-crush whose also a culinary student, i would like to tell you a story about it but ill just waste your time lol) , just want to send you a few encouragement and love for you and your writings *sending virtual hugs* (3) -👩🏻🍳anon
You’re too kind, thank you (and also, welcome back!). I’ll be frank, there was a hot second I was considering taking down Kitchen Romance but I didn’t cause I don’t want my efforts of editing it to go to waste asdfghjkl. I can’t believe you’ve been sticking around me for so long :’) it’s always nice to know some folks stay. Anyway, I’m glad that Sugar and Coffee is pretty similar to how it works irl since I tried my best to do research. I definitely love a good storytime as well so don’t worry about wasting my time :>
Anonymous said: a good majority of your fics display an unfathomable amount of DEPTH. regarding character development. plot. even the shortest lines of dialogue reveal so much more to the character and unveil their true emotions. i personally think the more REALISTIC side of love may be perceived as 'bland.' ‘emotionless.’ whatever you want to call it. nothing’s wrong with portraying a relationship that isn’t overboard with a whole lot of tooth aching fluff or lowkey annoying pda. +1
Anonymous said: there’s nothing wrong with taking out a bit of emotion to fit the PERSONALITIES of the characters. some people out there don’t necessarily feel a lot of emotions. so it’s honestly not really a mistake if a story lacks it (unless it was unintentional). subtlety is an art that is hard to master, but you’ve done it! and to respond to the anon, sometimes, if you skim through a fic without reading every word the author intended for you to read, +2
Anonymous said: then it’s quite common to not feel the full extent of the emotions you were supposed to feel. just a thought but no hate. we’re all entitled to our opinions. but besides that, kina, you write on a vast scale ranging from hardcore angst to diabetes-inducing fluff. and you do it beautifully. sure there are some stories that are better than others, but i believe a LOT of it comes down to personal preference and taste. +3
Anonymous said: even if you are feeling creatively limited, you work hard to continue writing for your readers, and your determination and diligence wILL NOT GO UNNOTICED. i just want you to know that you write amazingly. your syntax is practically immaculate, your characters feel real… the endings of your stories always wrap something up and the strings are tied—even if it isn’t necessarily a happy ending. you can convey hundreds of different characters through WORDS. +4
Anonymous said: i’ll have you know that it’s hard to write. it’s even harder to write about people who aren’t YOU. so as someone who looks up to you a lot, i want to commend you for your writing. some of your fics that i read on a monthly basis: tears of a villain, a piece of the moonlight, head over heels to hell, ghost in the machine, a mark of betrayal, a kiss of poison, until yesterday, the truth between us and arcadia. +5
Anonymous said: to be fair, there were way more fics but i didn’t want to make this message any longer than it already is LOL. i find these pieces wonderful. heart wrenching. and SO DAMN EMOTIONAL IT PLAGUES MY MIND FOR DAYS. also you’re literally one of the few fucking people who can use the em dash correctly. thank you so much for sharing your talent with us! +6
Oh my goodness. I don’t even know what to say, anon. This is a whole damn thesis and it’s about my fics :’> You know, it’s easy to brush off fanfiction as a ‘whatever’ thing and indeed, it isn’t that big of a deal compared to some things in the world. But I really do take all my stories seriously and put forth a lot of effort - so to see it recognized and appreciated it makes me beyond happy. It’s good to know that my efforts haven’t gone to waste at all and that there are people out there who will support me no matter the endeavours I take. Thank you so much. You don’t know how much this means to me.
((Also, honestly I picked up the em dash usage after I wrote The Truth Between Us with gukyi who used it. I’m pretty sure I’m not using it right but to hear that I am, god damn that’s a breath of relief right there))
backtobleuside submitted: Are you kidding me!? Your stories don’t lack love at all. They’re the kind of fics that you read, soak it all in and then come back for more. I’ve cried so much when I read Beyond reach, Boo-lieve in me, A piece of the moonlight, His name, Tell me lies etc. etc, and also laughed and felt the emotions of not just the OC, but also the other characters. Kitchen Romance was also so fluffy and sweet and personally, I don’t think that anything needs to be added to it. Anyway, your fics do not lack emotion—you’re probably the first author I send a message to because your stories impacted me a lot and left a strong impression on me. I even imagine your characters as real people who have real lives that continue on even after the story is done.
asdfghjkl thank you :’) I see you every week and sometimes several times at that. I really appreciate your consistent feedback and following. You never fail to send me a message too which I appreciate a lot. I’m glad you’re enjoying everything I’m producing!!
youngfleurever said: Would just like to say that your fics do in fact make me violently sob to the boy where my eyes are so swollen I have trouble opening them the next day and I wake up feeling like there’s sawdust in my mouth because I’m dehydrated.
oh my god. please keep yourself hydrated hahahahhaha more importantly, how do you know what sawdust in your mouth is like. WHAT have you been doing LOL
Anonymous said: I’ve felt emotions that I’ve never felt before when I read your fics.... so as a person that has read your entire masterlist, I DO NOT think that your fics lack emotion.... I hope you don’t feel disheartened because you’re one of my favourite writers, not just on tumblr but like, evER 💓💓💓💓💓💓
Please, even if I was disheartened, the overwhelming amount of feedback and praise has completely overridden it :’)
joonie-mono said: when tumblr deletes the first part of your ask 🙄😌✌️
LOOOOOOOL
haylo4ever said: Sorry had to add my 10 cents. You're such a talented writer,,, I WISH I could write a smol smol 1/1000000000 that you write,,, like I remember when I followed you bc I was in awe of your writing.... I mean?? Sure maybe not every fic hits it with someone but it's just ridic to name drop (a friend nonetheless) when you're all extremely talented writers.
Trust me, writing comes with practice!! I should honestly just tattoo that on me. God knows my first fanfic was absolutely GARBAGE. I didn’t know pacing, didn’t know that I should separate chunks of paragraphs, how to write dialogue or describe scenes properly. I went in blind. Even my second, third and fourth fanfic was garbage. You could definitely get to “my level” or even far surpass it with enough dedication and practice. I mean I’ve been writing for four years, so thank GOD there’s been improvement. I wouldn’t be natural if there wasn’t. But clearly the more you practice, the better you improve! That applies to anything.
The me in ten years will certainly be better now.
Anonymous said: Hi kina! I’m here in support of kitchen romance! I actually didn’t feel like it was missing a ton of fluffy moments (and I say that as a huGE LOVER OF FLUFF) but the story was just as entertaining in the whole chase of them getting closer to each other! It’s honestly one of my favorite one shots I’ve read lately and I’m not saying that lightly! Also, that anon that said your work lacks emotion has probably not read like half of your masterlist bc oO MAN QUEEN OF MAKING ME CRY- black heart anon🖤
Thank you :’]
Anonymous said: Ok I’m very offended wow the audacity!Specially coming for my baby kitchen romance like that story made me feel so much and it’s only one of the many fics you have written kina like I’m literally baffled like dynasty has made me cry scream happy and hot all at the same time and I was literally just thinking about it that whole weekend and this anon has the nerve to say your stories lack emotions?When you are literally the queen of show casing all types of emotions in your stories!You did it all
Anonymous said: Also ���😭😭😂😂😩hoooooooow and whereeee did they see any lack of love and emotions like have you read jungle park???? Inside my mind??? FREAKING SUGAR AND COFFEE (like this fic is made with love and I- ) Actually you know what , just read the whole masterlist😩😩💗💗💗
LOL tbh I didn’t expect Dynasty to receive the love it has. I was actually kind of wary when posting it cause it’s kind of Wild.
bangtans-peaceful-piegon said: just gotta say u handled that whole anon thing so well which not only makes me admire u as a writer but even more as a person :] (i mean i knew u were gr8 before the whole deal but yeah love ya 💛)
tbh, I’m not sure how well I handled it cause I was flooded with over 30 messages afterwards (evidently) ;_; which I love and appreciate but I’m not really as hurt as some people think hahaha criticism should be received well but it’s still hard not to take personally tbh. It’s gonna have to be something I work on or perhaps it’ll be one of those things that I’ll take better with age.
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ALL (supervillain laugh) take your time tho :D
Oh no WHY alright I submit *sighs, shakes my head, and briefly regrets all my life choices*
here we go! (#9 and #19 are pending specific opera submissions)
I wrote an overly long post here in response to this question a while back
Don Carlo!!!
Just started Halka. Not very far in, but I’m liking it so far.
In full, Cavalleria rusticana (yesterday)
Die tote Stadt (specifically the one recording conducted by Erich Leinsdorf)
Sopranos, with baritones in a very close second.
I will keep advocating for a Belle Époque Simon Boccanegra until it actually happens. Also Paris Commune Le prophète.
*see the 2017 Paris Opéra cast, except very reluctantly swap in Furlanetto for Abdrazakov*
pending submission of a specific opera
really tough...the ROH 1985 one was my first, so it may be my favorite for sentimental reasons, although I also LOVE the current ROH/Met coproduction (with the exception of some details), the Salzburg 2013, and that Liège production from not too long ago
well, based on several factors (including roles I’ve played in musicals, choir assignments, and stuff from voice lessons in the past), I’ll say Poppea (Agrippina), Zerlina (Don Giovanni), and Urbain (Les Huguenots)
Yes, my answer is Don Carlo
Depending on the day, either ‘Dio, che nell’alma infondere’, ‘Nuit d’ivresse et d’extase infinie’, or ‘Ô ciel! où courez-vous?’
my HOMEGIRL Princess Éboli
any really good rendition of ‘Depuis le jour’. that aria SLAPS.
I’m cheating and doing a play instead BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE IT anyway we need Ibsen-based operas and I nominate Hedda Gabler with Sonya Yoncheva and Lisette Oropesa as Hedda and Thea there I said it if you want further casting ask me again later
I don’t know if there’s any one character I have the same personality as??? although I was recently told by someone else on here that my personality is a cross between Figaro and Marguerite de Valois so... make of that what you will (and tell me what you think!)
we all know my answer to this (it’s Carlo/Rodrigo)
also pending a specific opera submission
depends on...a lot of factors, but I adore both Jonas Kaufmann and José Carreras (he is the best of the Three Tenors; no, I am not accepting criticism at this time)
going with Carmen for the sake of argument here, definitely Carmen
...I am not a fan of Puccini’s Manon Lescaut
probably Die tote Stadt, which is seriously bizarre but incredibly amazing (possibly because of its inherent bizarreness?)
not sure if this is in reference to characters or singers; I’ll assume this is about characters and say (of course) Carlo/Rodrigo, with Marie/Tonio and Fenton/Nannetta very close behind.
Renato needs love and hugs and just deserves so much better (he just needs to learn to not be a Jealous Baritone Husband). Other than that drama, he has a proven track record of being a good friend.
waaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyy too many. for the sake of being concise, five I love: Callas, Popp, Benackova, Oropesa, Rebeka.
Verdi ❤️ no one else has written so many great operas I love so much over such a long period of time
waaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyy too many (again). first one that popped into my head just now was Sophie from Werther, so we’re gonna go with her.
Act III finale, La bohème.
how has there not been a good opera version of Twelfth Night? that is operatic comedy gold WAITING to happen
a) I hate these singer questions because I have way too many, and b) among many, many others, Milnes, Gobbi, Zancanaro, Keenlyside, and Tézier.
I see a sweet trouser role, I adopt him. also Annina from La traviata deserves WAY more credit than she gets. love her to death.
since I try to be optimistic or at least neutral when going into a new opera, none
cannot gender swap names in my head at the moment, so Carlo becomes a standard mid-late Verdi soprano role, Elisabetta becomes a baritone (YOU THOUGHT SHE’D BE A TENOR BUT NOOOOO), Rodrigo is the Good Mezzo who gets the Basically Non-Existent Mezzo Death Scene, Éboli is a tenor, Filippo goes full dramatic mezzo, and the Grand Inquisitor becomes a nearly-impossible-to-sing contralto role with a few extremely powerful high notes thrown in because why not. Tebaldo remains a coloratura soprano.
slightly cheating, but Berlioz’s Les Troyens (not directly based on myth, but kinda?)
‘We really gotta hurry-‘ ‘But first, let’s sing about our feelings!’ or ‘death scene with lots of blood and sadness’ or ‘death by singing’ or party gone wrong (I’m a sucker for good opera tropes)
For baritones: Onegin, don’t go to the name day ball. Just don’t. For tenors: either Otello re: trusting Iago over Desdemona or...pretty much Hoffmann’s entire life.
Again, I hate these questions, but here are five anyway: Cossotto, Troyanos, DiDonato, Garanča, and Rachvelishvili.
FILIPPO (I would DIE to be able to play Filippo. also can I just say that bass and bass-baritone roles in (at least originally) French operas are...*chef’s kiss*.)
Éboli’s outfit in Act IV, Scene 1 of the 2017 Paris Don Carlos.
I really, really want to like Aida as much as everyone else seems to, but I still think that while the plot is good and the music is good, it somehow just doesn’t work and is also massively overrated.
so I don’t talk about Lucia di Lammermoor much but it’s awesome and the mad scene is one of my favorite things ever and ALSO THE OPERA SHOULD HAVE ENDED WITH THE MAD SCENE WHAT THE HELL CAMMARANO so yeah there’s that
well, I’ve been in love with Carmen since I was 7, so...
so many! Figaro seems like he’d be a pretty awesome BFF
Three words: Così. fan. tutte
La gioconda, which has okay music overall (although ‘Stella dal marinar’ is good and the Dance of the Hours is an absolute BOP) but I like the plot a lot better (imagine how it would have been if Verdi or even Boito wrote the music!). also ‘Cielo e mar’ is the third-most overrated tenor aria of all time and you can fight me on that.
way too many (again), but I gotta say it: especially in Verdi, Furlanetto simply cannot be beat.
so many ridiculous roles...you know what’s ridiculous? Hélène in Les veprês siciliennes. At least she gets a scene off, but other than that it’s *high notes* *low notes* *coloratura* *declamation over a huge orchestra and chorus* *sassing the French* *cadenza* *repeat for three hours*
I have been meaning to watch Boris Godunov in its entirety for a while and I WILL THIS WEEK (thanks, Met Opera!). Also literally any Wagner. I was going to see the Met HD of Höllander but you know what happened.
Tosca for tragedies, Barbiere di Siviglia for comedies, Don Giovanni for everyone.
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Who Do You Love - Joe Mazzello x Reader
Synopsis: Joe's been distant lately with you, you're confused on why. Let's hope he can own up soon on why.
Words: 3.7k
Warning: like one swear word, reader be confused af
A/N: yall my best friend wrote this masterpiece its better than ive ever written but she cant be fucked putting it on her blog 😂 i love her a lot so show this some love too!!
Everything or nothing, that’s how it’s always been with Joe, and he’s always given me his everything. That’s why I found his behavior strange lately. I wouldn’t call it distant, but something had changed, like how he had been acting around me. He’s been dismissive, not wanting to spend as much time with me, but this behaviour wasn’t unusual, or unnatural for what’s changed in his life. He’s been on set for the past few months with his mates - coming home at unreasonable hours of the morning, 3am, 4am or even 6 in the morning.
“Hey Babe, did you want to go out for dinner tonight? Maybe to a nice fancy restaurant, just the two of us?” I had asked, happily. Looking towards Joe for your answer, after throwing my pillow on the freshly made up bed.
Joe and I lived together, it’s been this way for just over a year now. Everything had been going great when we both moved in together, it was like nothing had changed. He still took us out on dates, spontaneous gifts here and there, nothing too out there. But, maybe about a week ago, that went dull.
“Sorry, Hon. I can’t.” He said dryly, coming out from the bathroom with a towel around hung atop of his damp hair, which would be a rather attractive sight to you if it weren’t for the disappointing news.
A frown made its way upon my face as I had nodded sadly. “Oh, alright.” Shaking my head, I looked up towards where Joe was and smiled at him, running my hand through my hair, pushing it back. “That’s alright. I know that you’re busy with work and everything,” I explained as I turned off the Radio that sat on our nightstand, right next to a photo of Joe and I, the day we spent our one year anniversary at the beach. “I just thought it would be nice for you to have some time away for a while, you know?” My voice progressively got more and more shaky. I spun around after taking a good look at the photo.
Joe looked at me with sorrowful eyes, and took a step closer towards me. Shaking my head, I smiled more, even if I felt like my heart had fallen down to my feet. “I just thought that some time out away from everything, your practice and rehearsal,” Without my knowledge, a tear rolled down towards my chin. Sniffling and wiping away the tear, I shook my head once more, forgetting what I was going to say. “It really is okay, I just miss you.” Looking up into his eyes. “I really...I just really fucking miss you, Joe.”
Heading towards the bathroom door behind him, I softly spoke before shutting the door. “I have to get ready for work.” My eyes landed on his face just before I closed the door. Dread. That’s all I saw. His eyes filled with pure sadness and dread. Another tear had strolled its way down my cheek. This feeling... I never want to feel it again.
That was 6 days ago. I have spoken to Joe since then, of course, but it’s been small conversations, like how was your day and what do you want for dinner, as well as I Love You’s. To say I had been moping around the house since then would be an understatement. Of course I had been sad, but Joe hadn’t even apologised, or asked me if I’ve been okay since then. The same look of sadness hadn’t left his eyes, so I haven’t even thought the fact that he might want to leave me. He wouldn’t...would he?
Hearing my phone’s ringtone blast from the lounge-room, I left the kitchen to see who it was calling me. “Hey Gwilym, what’s up?” Trying your best to sound like you’ve been doing alright.
“Hey, love!” His welsh accent coming through easily. “I was just calling to see if you’d like to come on set and watch us rehearse? I know Joe might’ve contacted you about it already, but since you’re not here, I thought I’d ask if you wanted to come!” He sounds peachy and genuinely happy. I hope that Joe is too. “We all love your company around here, and it would be such a delight to have you.”
Smiling, I nodded, trying to ignore the fact that my heart still sat at my feet. Joe hadn’t said anything to me about coming in today, he hadn’t asked me if I wanted to come in and watch them rehearse, catch up with my friends. “Yeah, sure! I’ll see you guys soon, just text me the address of where you guys are rehearsing today.” As I was about to say goodbye, his voice piped up once more.
“How have you been lately, angel? I haven’t heard from you much. And I would ask Joe, but you’re the person I’m asking about, so I’d pick it as common sense to call you and ask.” Him asking how I’ve been is one thing, but to know he was genuinely concerned about me that he hadn’t gone to Joe to ask about my wellbeing is another. Gwilym was probably one of the guys I was closest to, minus Joe. After Joe had introduced me to the guys, Gwilym never failed on checking up on me, resulting on me getting closer and closer to him.
“Yeah, I’m fine, Gwil.” Sounding a little bit deflated, I knew he would’ve picked up on it, so I tried to cover up. “Just a bit tired lately, you know? Work and all.” A dry laugh came out from my mouth. “You don’t have to worry about me.”
He stayed silent for a moment. I knew that he figured out that I wasn’t telling the truth. Nonetheless, he replied. “Alright, but I will always worry. You’re my friend, of course.” He spoke, gentle and slow, as to let me know he was genuine and true. That sent a pang straight to my heart. I felt my eyes well with tears. Wow, I’m emotional.
“Thank you, Gwil, but I’ll be okay.” Pausing for just a moment, i resumed talking. “Well, alright. I’m going to go and get ready then. I’ll see you soon, yeah?” He responds with a small yes, and then a goodbye. After we had hung up, I rolled my head backwards, taking in a long breath, and then breathing out, feeling like some of the weight had gone.
If only it were that easy.
Not bothering to hop into the shower, having had one late last night, I just walked into the room and got myself ready. Throwing on a T-Shirt, sweater and some well fitted jeans, I tugged on my boots and left the house.
After I lock the car, I walk through the car park. When I see Ben and Gwilym laughing and bickering, I let out a small laugh at their silliness, wondering if they do the same with Joe. My smile falters as my thoughts bring Joe into play, I shake my head - I don’t need to be thinking of him right now, I’ve got my friends to see.
“Hey Y/N!” Gwil yells from where they’re standing. I smile widely as I lift my arm up to wave at them, walking towards where they stood.
“Hey guys!” I giggle with excitement as I see they’re trying to fight for the first hug. I hug Gwil first, Ben shrugs and decides to join in, pulling us all together, closer. I let out another laugh as they both let go of me. “How have you guys been?” I ask, pulling a strand of hair behind my ear, listening intently.
“Yeah! We’ve been great!” Ben says, enthusiastically. It was nice to be with them, they were so calm, fun and laid back, all things that Joe hasn’t been lately, and it makes me sad. I want Joe to be as happy as them, especially when they’re at home.
“Oh god, you guys really do look like young Rog and Bri,” I play with a strand of Gwil’s fake bouncy hair. “Holy shit, it feels so real too!”
“C’mon, hun, come on in!” Gwilym extends his hand in front of him, in the gesture of ‘come along’. I smile and begin to walk in, Ben on my right and Gwil on my left.
Heading off into the set of the recording studio, Ben and Gwil disappearing somewhere into the crowd of makeup artists, I assumed, I looked around the room, observing it. It looked like the inside of a shack, but behind the glass was where they, Queen, would’ve recorded their songs. Or, actually, a replica of where they would have recorded their songs.
“When did you get here?” Hearing a familiar voice behind me, my heart began to race. Turning around to see Joe, my heart raced faster. He had his wig, makeup and outfit on, all prepared for his scenes. He really looks like the younger version of John Deacon! Behind his eyes were some sort of happiness, but I could tell that when he saw me, he was nervous. Nervous about what, I wouldn’t know, my best guess is getting his lines right.
Smiling at him, I walked towards him to give him a small hug, saying a gentle hello. Pulling back from him, I smiled at him. He gave me a small smile back, and leaned forward to kiss my cheek. Feeling my cheeks become slightly hot, I looked down towards the ground, bashfully.
Taking a small step backwards, away from him, I took a glance around the room again. “Is this where they would record their songs?” Referring to Queen, I looked back at Joe shortly after glancing around the room once more.
He nodded his head lightheartedly. “Well, it's a recreation of what would have been their recording studio.” He smiles as he looks around. “It’s amazing, isn’t it?” As he’s looking around, I take the time to observe the man that I adore.
His eyes were looking right into mine, his beautiful, hazel eyes. His adorable puppy-dog eyes. They haven't changed since I had met him. His defined jaw wasn’t sporting his usual beard, he was shaven clean for the movie. Honestly, I love him when he does or doesn’t have his facial hair. I mean, he is gorgeous no matter what. His beard makes it all the more fun to kiss him, having the fun, ticklish feeling left to linger.
As I start to look around, I feel a pair of eyes on me. Looking back at Joe, his eyes met mine once more. As the blood rushes to my cheeks, causing a tint of pink to spread across my cheeks, leaving them rosy, I can’t tell what he’s feeling anymore. Whether he is feeling too much, or nothing at all.
“Can you wait here for just a second?” He asks, reaching out to hold my hand. My heart started to beat faster as I nodded my head, reaching my arm out for his hand to grab mine. He rubbed his thumb on the top of my hand, and then let go. I didn’t want him to let go of my hand, his hands felt so soft and warm, I felt safe just holding them. When his hand slipped out of mine, I felt like whimpering. I felt like I was losing something, but he gave me a reassuring smile, and then left the room. As the door closed, I felt cold. I moved myself backwards to sit on the couch in the back of the room.
Ten minutes had passed and Joe still hadn’t come back, so I decided I would get up and walk around the room, observe more closely. As I had stood up to take a closer look at things, Gwilym had walked in. I wouldn’t say he looked panicked, but definitely flushed. “Gwil, is everything okay?” I ask with a small chuckle coming from my mouth.
He doesn’t say a word. He just grabs my wrist, wearing a smile from ear to ear, and then leads us out of the room. “Gwil, where are we going? I’m supposed to wait for Joe-” All that is going through my body right now is the feeling of utter confusion.
When Gwil looks over his shoulder with a small smirk, I am even more confused. He shuffles us past small groups of people, other parts of the set, I couldn’t even tell where we were going anymore. When he opened a door and pushed us through, we found ourselves at a fountain. A beautiful fountain. My eyes widened, looking around the beautiful place.
“This place… It’s gorgeous!” Spinning to get a 360 view of the room, I turned around to look at Gwilym, but it turns out that in the midst of walking in here and now, he walked out.
Standing on the small set, surrounded by four walls, I found myself in awe with everything. The floor was artificial grass, yet soft and felt so real, dusted with small pink, yellow, and purple flowers. All of my favourite colours. There was a small tree in corner, setting shading upon the fountain that was spurting water. The water that rests in the fountain was adorned with lily pads that had flowers carefully placed on the top of them. I couldn’t help but admire everything that I was surrounded in. I felt like a princess in a fantasy world, this doesn’t seem real.
“Hi, Sweetie.” Hearing Joe’s soft voice behind me, I saw that he looked completely different than when I had last saw him. He wasn’t John Deacon anymore, he was Joseph Mazzello, the man I had fallen madly in love with the day I had met him.
“Joe.” I said, but it came out more as a question than anything. I knew it was him, but I didn’t know why he wasn’t in his wig anymore. “What’s going on? I thought rehearsal didn’t finish until late?” Cocking my head to the side, I took a closer look at him. Was he wearing a tuxedo?
He walked towards me with me smile on his face, a tinge of pink dusting his cheekbones. “Y/N, I have debated on when I wanted to do this,” He began, making my heart race faster and faster. Having that smile on his face washed away all my worries of him ending this relationship. “But seeing you stand there in front of me, your cheeks pink, eyes filled with nothing but love, I knew my decision had been made right then and there.” His smile had only gotten wider, and I felt that I could hear his heart beating out of his chest. “But before I do go on, there is one thing I want to get out of the way first.”
He’s all I can see. Nothing else in this room is in my view. The faux grass, the tree, the fountain or the lily pads, nothing. Just Joe. Just Joe in his navy blue suit, bowtie and well shined shoes. “I know that recently, I haven’t been myself. I didn’t notice, but when I told the boys, they helped me see things really clearly. And I am so sorry if I had made you feel unloved, or scared that you would lose me. I am so sorry.” He sniffled gently, keeping the water that was welling his eyes at bay. Dabbing his clothed wrist onto his eyes, ridding himself of the water, he continued on with his speech.
“You are my everything. You’re honestly all I see. I don’t want to be anywhere without you, or without the memory of you. I want to go everywhere and be there with you, or if you can’t be there, remember us going there together. I don’t want to be without you.” The water reappeared at the brim of his eyes, just as they appeared in mine too. My heart continued to beat loudly.
He took one more step closer, one stray tear strolling down his cheek. I instinctively lifted my arm, pressing my thumb against his cheek to wipe away the tear. He chucked and grabbed my arm, sliding it down to slip his hand into mine, moving his other arm forward to grab my other hand, holding them both.
“You are the person I cherish the most. I love our time together.” He smiled, sniffling once more, swinging our arms side to side. “Do you remember our first year anniversary?” He chuckles. Remembering back to the day, I laughed with him.
That day at the beach, I had been frightened by the birds down there, running away from them, all while trying to desperately keep my hat on in the rough wind. Joe stood a fair bit away, laughing at the scene while trying to shoo the birds away.
Nodding my head, he continued with what he was saying. “That day, I won’t ever forget it. Not just because you were afraid of the birds,” He laughed gently, but then tightened his grip in my hands. “But because that day, the sun hit you in a way I have never seen. You looked like an angel. A real life angel, send down here to bless not just me, but every person that you come in contact with in every way possible.” His voice was soft, fragile, like he was trying not to break glass. “I would say you have never looked more beautiful, but you get more and more beautiful every day. I can never get enough of you, I really can’t. You take my breath away with every passing moment.”
As he finished his sentence, I looked at him with so much love in my eyes. I squeezed his hands harder just as he was slipping them out from my grasp. He took a small step back, and then got down on one knee.
“Joe?” I asked, my heart beating a million miles an hour, my heart just about to come out of my chest. My hands had flung up to my mouth instinctively, not knowing what else to do with them.
“Baby, I honestly cannot see my future without you in it, and I don’t want to hold this off any longer.” He takes a small black velvet box out of his back pocket and holds it in his hand. “You mean so much to me, and I would feel like the luckiest guy on the face of this earth if you would be my wife, Y/N.” He opens the box to reveal a simple, yet elegant silver ring.
Nodding my head vigorously, he shot up, wrapping his arms around me. “I love you so much, Joe. Of course, of course I’ll marry you.” Saying, trying to sound like I’m not about to cry, I hug him tightly in my arms.
Hearing repeated bang’s go off behind Joe, I look to see that Gwil, Ben, Rami and Lucy had all been standing there with party poppers in their hands. “Congratulations you guys!” Lucy loudly says, over all of the boys popping their poppers after she did hers.
Lucy raced forward to throw her arms around the both of us, the boys following suit. Congratulations and I’m so happy for you guys were thrown around, but in all honesty, my eyes were only set on Joe, who had never looked happier. He was smiling from ear to ear and his eyes were glistening, like there were stars in his eyes. Moving my hand from Joe’s back, where I was hugging him, I placed my hand on his cheek.
He turned his head to look at me, his eyes filling with fondness and love. As we got closer, our lips pressing against one another, cheers had filled the room once again. Not having a single care in the world, my hand had slipped from his cheek to the back of his neck, my fingers running through his hair in the process.
His hand had found its place on my back, pushing me closer to him. Hearing mumbling and then a door closing, I had only assumed that the group had made their way outside, giving us our privacy.
Our lips didn’t pull away for another minute after that. When we needed air, only then we decided to pull away, our foreheads pressed together. “I love you so much, Y/N.” His eyes, his shining, emerald green eyes had opened to look directly into mine, his hand from my back finding its way to rest on my cheek, his thumb rubbing away any tears that had strayed from my eyes.
“I love you so much too, Joe. Enough that I would marry your goofy ass.” Chuckling silently, I leaned forward to peck his lips once more, pulling away, resting my arms on his shoulders to keep steady.
His lips twitched into a smirk, his hands landing on my hips. “Oh, sweetie, you haven’t seen anything yet.” Making the both of us laugh, he pressed his lips against mine with more passion than before, our bodies in much closer proximity than before. My hands finding their way in his hair once more.
One of his hands had found their way up my shirt, gripping my torso, like he was embedding my body in his mind. My whole body was pressed right up against his. I started to breathe more heavily than before, my body starting to increase in temperature. Joe had moved his hands from my body, trailing one hand up to cup my cheek.
He began to pull away, but I didn’t want him to go, so I pushed myself forward. Feeling him smile against my lips and feeling him laugh, he stopped me from pushing my lips against his, and pulled away. Pouting as he looked me in the eyes, he just rubbed his thumb against my cheek. A smirk spread itself across his face just as he had leaned in to whisper to me.
“Don’t worry baby.” His breath fanned against my neck, making goosebumps travel down my whole body. “You can get more when we get home. So much more.”
Although I’m very impatient to get home, if this is what the future looks like, I can’t wait.
#joe mazzello#joe mazzello imagine#joe mazzello x reader#joseph mazzello#joseph francis mazzello iii#joe mazzello fluff#ben hardy#gwilym lee#rami malek#lucy boynton#lucy the babe herself boynton#borhap cast#bohemian rhapsody#joe mazzello one shot#bohemian rhapsody cast#joe mazello x reader#joe mazello#joe mazello imagine
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thoughts on t*sp
look. at first i told myself that i wasn’t gonna watch this show, and then the very next day it got leaked so i was like “you know what? im gonna watch it anyway!” and thats the worst decision that ive ever made in my life because this show was... bad. could it have been worse? definitely, given the fact that it was an emma frost show based on a philippa gregory book. but this was still terrible enough for me to type this post up, so here we go!
i can guarantee you that you’ll have a more fun time reading this post than you will watching TSP. this is under a read more because.. whew.. theres a lot.
THE CASTING
first and foremost: the actress playing KOA cannot act. she’s really pretty, granted, but her acting was genuinely terrible. like.. i cringed almost every time there was a scene terrible. not only was her spanish accent bad but she felt so.. stiff, i guess would be a good word, whenever she said something. and that didn’t do anything to help the fact that she has a bad case of ScarJo Fever™ (if you don’t know what that is: it’s when an actor/actress only makes the same three facial expressions) people need to stop hiring actresses and actors just because they’re attractive and actually make sure that they can act. at this point, i am Begging!
the actor playing harry was actually good though, at least in my opinion. he did his best with what he was given and i really admire that! you can tell that he was putting a lot of effort into it, even though the way that they wrote him was really out of character for that period of his life (see: this post)
h7′s actor was good in the scenes that he was in, but the way that they treated h7 was so.. weird? they didn’t make him as creepy as i thought that they were going to when i first found out they were making an adaptation of TCP, but there was still this lowkey creepy vibe that he had going on.. i honestly dont know how to explain it, but it was there. also he slapped the shit out of harry in a scene??? that was messy as HELL
the actress for margaret beaufort was good, but there were some scenes that just had me like.. oh? on god? (most notably the death scene, but i’ll get into that hot mess later) you could tell that she was trying hard, even if they made MB’s character arc terrible.
the actors that played lina and her love interest were amazing, though. they worked with what they had and i really liked what they did with them even though the writing was shit. the scene with their wedding was adorable and really well acted!
angus imrie (arthur) was good, too! but the wig that they gave him? atrocious. i’m going to see it in my nightmares. georgie henley was really good in the scenes that we saw her in as meg tudor, but most of the scenes she was in weren’t that good and that’s wack :’)
i don’t know the name of the actress that played juana of castile in the episode she was in, but i liked her acting, too.. even though the writing for her was kind of cringy.
before i end this section i should let it be known that i was more attached to juana, meg and arthur in the few episodes they were in than i was to KOA during the entire show. it’s so tragic like. how are you going to cast a lead actress that cant act?? Hello???
before i get into the issues with the writing and creative direction i have with the show, i just wanna say: the pacing of the show was terrible and really, really difficult to follow. the entirety of the second episode, which followed from their KOA/arthur marriage to arthur’s death, probably had the worst pacing. it felt like only a few weeks had passed in the show’s time, when it was supposed to be what? six months? and there was so indication of a timeskip between episode 6 and episode 7, even though juana was still in england at the end of episode 6 and h7 died about 10 minutes into episode 7? it’s so tragic.
okay, moving on!
THE CREATIVE DIRECTION
look. i get that it’s a show and of course there’s going to be historical license but... GOD this show went above and beyond.
there’s so much i want to say here, but the most important one that i have an issue with is the shit that they did with lina’s character. erasing the fact that she was a slave owned by ferdinand and isabella and then later given to KOA was absolutely terrible. and then not only did they do that AND make her KOA’s most loyal lady-in-waiting, but they erased the fact that she was forced to convert to christianity, forced to stop using her birth name and instead having to use the name of her new owner in the name of #StrongFemaleFriendships. disgusting!
EF: lina is KOA’s most faithful servant and they have a strong female friendship!! hashtag woke!! hashtag feminism!!
my black ass:
honestly it gets even worse because KOA and lina’s “central female friendship” was barely even there. lina had more scenes with rosa, one of KOA’s other ladies-in-waiting, than she did with KOA. not to mention that KOA was manipulative to lina and kept saying stuff like “you owe me service” or stuff along those lines? it was so shitty. lina sweetie im so sorry that this ugly ass bitch would even try you
the next big thing that i had a problem with was the fact that they aged up harry, when in reality he was about 11 years old when KOA first came to england. like, i can’t really go that much into it because even thinking about the fact that they aged him up to make him Arthur’s Hotter, All-Around-Better Brother™ when he was fucking 11 makes me kinda sick but. ughh it was terrible.
not to mention the fact that they villainized margaret beaufort because of course they did. apparently you cant be a middle aged woman without being villainized?? especially not in an emma frost show. but the way that they villainized her was so ugly. and the fact that they attributed shit like edmund dudley’s execution to her when it happened an entire year after she died? Hello????
the way that she just took over and declared herself regent when h7 was in mourning for elizabeth of york and kicked KOA out of the palace + the way she tried to threaten margaret pole & lina into revealing that KOA wasn’t a virgin.. shgkhhgsfhgkshjbjsjb that shit was so fucking messy its like they tried to make her a fusion of mother gothel from tangled and ursula from the little mermaid
the way that they made EoY dislike KOA was so weird? and the way that both her and margaret beaufort assaulted her by kissing and groping her respectively was weird and definitely uncalled for.
this is a minor one in the gist of some of the other things but why did they make EoY’s last daughter a stillborn child? someone correct me if i’m wrong, but didn’t she live for about a week before she died? but then again, i remember that she named their daughter after KOA, so they probably did that to avoid the fact because they made EoY hate her. messy
arthur’s wig counts as a creative decision right? well whoever gave him that wig needs to be fired. PERIOD
arthur’s wig:
me:
whoever did meg tudor’s costumes also needs to be fired tbfh they were so bad. what did she ever do to yall
THE WRITING
i guess that writing can go into the creative direction category as well, but there were so many problems with the writing that it deserves its own category
KOA was so terrible in this. between her manipulating harry and lina, and the fact that she kept defending the fact that isabella abused juana because “our mother was a queen, a warrior” was ugly! “tO bE qUeEn oF eNgLaNd iS mY dEsTiNy” girl if you don’t shut ya mouth catching these hands is gonna be your destiny
they also made KOA put all of her faith in the fact that she was related to queens? like, every time juana said she couldn’t do something because her husband + ferdinand are assholes, or every time isabella was brought up she kept being like “but you’re/she’s a queen!” it was irritating
all of the predictions about the great matter/KOA not being able to give harry a son were weird. i would have been fine if it had only been like.. one time, because sometimes foreshadowing can be good, but it was brought up every 5 seconds and at the most random times. like when EoY was literally dying in childbirth?? Hello????? god are you there??
AND THE FACT THAT EOY STRAIGHT UP WENT TO HELL AND SAW HER BROTHER GETTING EXECUTED THEN CAME BACK. HELLO??
then when margaret beaufort was about to die and she saw ghosts? and jasper tudor showed up to take her to hell i guess? honestly i didnt know what the fuck was going on but that shit was so fucking messy and wild. i have to laugh
also: i mentioned this earlier but all of those scenes where harry was ranting and raging.. EF really saw the name “henry viii” and floored it with that huh
they also dumbed harry down imho.. Wack!
juana seducing harry was a hot ass mess in its own right, but honestly? juana and harry had more chemistry in that one minute scene than KOA and harry had in the entire show
we were not even 10 minutes into the pilot and they were already trying to portray isabella as a #WokeFeministQueen. how, you might ask? why, by showing her leading a group of men to kill black muslims for their faith, of course! didn’t you know that being racist and islamophobic is hip and feminist when you’re a queen?
like i get that its from KOA’s point of view but in the opening monologue of the pilot they mentioned that isabella overthrew the moors like it was a #Feminist thing to do and not a part of her orchestrating massacres and contributing to genocide? @ EF: on GOD??
tbh? shocked that KKKristopher KKKolonizer wasn’t mentioned in a positive light based on how much they tried to glorify isabella. like what catholic monarchs stan was allowed to work on this show with EF and P. Gregory?? hello????
i’m totally fine with the whole plot point about katherine lying about her virginity, since we’ll probably never know the truth about whether or not she and arthur consummated their marriage, but it was poorly executed in both the writing and in CH’s acting. i could tell that she was lying and so did.. almost everyone, really.
the scene where they were about to.. i guess lynch lina’s love interest for “stealing” made me really uncomfortable. i dont even know how to explain it
h7′s death scene.... this is all i have to say about it
margaret beaufort ordering the execution of edmund dudley was shitty for a lot of reasons but honestly him screaming “fuck you all to hell” was hilarious
the ending scene of episode 7 where they were in the chapel and henry asked KOA if she was still a virgin was bad writing and CH’s acting made it even worse. cant even lie convincingly smh
margaret pole’s plotline was so confusing.. i barely knew wtf was going on with her the entire show? it all felt so rushed and forced. it was weird
EoY and h7 had some cute scenes together though. and that was like.. one of the shows only real redeeming qualities
that’s about it for this post about TSP! my overall rating for it is a 0.5/10. it was super shitty, but i liked arthur, juana and meg tudor so it gets a 0.5 instead of a plain 0. and apparently theres one episode left too.. DREADING it. anyways: emma frost absolutely failed in her goal to be like “its not all about anne boleyn!” because if anything this show made me think about how claire foy and natalie dormer were both robbed of awards so.. if reading this post gave you hives? go watch wolf hall or the tudors for their great performances!
thanks for reading! :)
#tcm tudor alliance show spoilers#ch does the scarjo face for 7 hours straight spoilers#tv: the spanish princess#is it worth the hatewatch? honestly yeah but at what cost
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lord Martiya’s Lilanette Week 2018/2019 Day 4
@lilanette-week
This one was quite funny to make, especially as I wrote Adrien’s ability for delusions-and has the most awesome Lila scene I’ve written so far, my little attempt to top the Lila of The Grand Deception. Tell me if what she pulls is comparable, ok?
Day 4: Akumatized
After the ball, things had changed drastically in Marinette’s relationships. After taking advantage of the opening provided by their common friend, Lila had done her best to impress her-and had done a good enough job she could have had her way with her, had she not showed more restraint than even Lila herself thought (it had been obvious in hindsight that the Italian girl had really wanted that), impressing Marinette even more in the process. Enough that, before they kissed (and Lila had given her more than enough time to move away), Marinette had proposed they exchanged their hair ribbons.
Now half the school was likely convinced they were dating, something that Marinette would have once been dreading due the chance of Adrien joining the group too… Except she wasn’t minding too much, she had noticed a couple days previously while she and Tikki put up a few pictures of Lila in her room. She had even started talking more smoothly to Adrien and transferred some of the stutter to Lila-especially whenever the fox girl would suddenly come too close with her face.
On the other hand she had been growing a bit irritated with Alya and Nino, as they seemed to have made their mission to keep her from staying alone with Lila and pushing her into Adrien’s arms. And she wasn’t the only one growing irritated, considering the previous day she had seen Lila venting by going to the two guys who had been bullying Nathaniel and Marc over their relationship and tricking them into punching each other’s fist-sure, it had ended any homophobic bullying at their school for the time being, but Lila still had got two guys to shatter their hands.
Thus, given she had a date with Lila planned for after the school, she had decided to confront them on that as soon as they arrived to school before her very irascible love interest got Akumatized again-and of course they were denying everything.
“Guys, I’m not stupid.” Marinette replied.
“But I’m starting to fear they are.” a strangely familiar voice pointed out. Marinette looked to see and, much to her, Alya’s and Nino’s very understandable surprise and shock, they found Rena Rouge. “I mean, they should know that this way they’re far too likely to bring back my superior death-tailed counterpart…”
Just as Marinette registered that “Rena Rouge” had repeated the pun made by the Minefield while Alya wasn’t there but Lila was, a fist suddenly became visible through her and an orange glow dissolved Rena Rouge-and revealed Volpina, wearing Lila’s jacket over her costume.
“What did you say about Rena Rouge and Volpina?!” and of course Alya had to take offense at being called inferior to Volpina.
“I’m saying that Rena Rouge, differently from me, can’t actually play the dizi flute, must remember to tell Ladybug I can give her some lessons.” Volpina replied. “That and, no matter how good she’ll become with the power of illusions, she just isn’t ruthless enough to use it at its fullest-I mean, I doubt she’d even think to use an illusion showing her taking someone hostage like I did.”
“Mmmgrr…”
“But that’s not important right now. What is important, Marinette, is that right now I’ve got the power of illusion and I’m fully in control, and can think of quite a few things to use it for in our date before I call Ladybug and give it up.”
While Marinette tried to guess if this time Volpina was a supervillain or was indeed her Lila with superpowers she saw a familiar mask of light appear before Volpina’s eyes-and her reply was the most awesome thing Marinette had ever seen since her first Miraculous Cure washed over Paris.
“Listen up, a’ stronzo ’ncorvattato, I’m not giving up my plans for the day for your sake, so you’ll better take a day of rest because if you do take away my powers or otherwise interfere with my date I shall scour the world searching for the cheapest copies of the ugliest jewels and pieces of clothing ever made for the Bling-Bling fashion, use them to assemble an outfit so tacky that Adrien Agreste could have his father wrapped around his finger simply by threatening to wear it in public, force you into it, and lock you into a closet with Madame Bourgeois!”
And with that, the light that signaled Papillon talking with an Akumatized villain disappeared while Volpina dusted her hands off, much to the shock of the entire class-both at the threat (because even Chloe could admit her mother was an incredibly nasty person, especially when confronted with a horrible outfit) and the fact it had scared Papillon away.
“Again, Alya, this is why Rena Rouge is inferior: considering half the things I’ve heard about that woman she would never think to make such a threat. Then again, maybe that means she’s a better person.” Volpina continued. Then she turned to Marinette, put a finger under her still open mouth, and asked: “Is this an invitation?”
“Uh? Agh! No! Yes! I mean-! STOP DOING THAT!”
“I just can’t get enough of that. Anyway, still going out with me today?”
“Yes! Yes! My god, that was awesome…”
Volpina smiled… And then the purified Akuma popped out of her left hair ribbon, leaving behind a rather bemused Lila.
____________________________________
As he returned home for the day, Adrien was in a strange mood. On one hand he was happy f0r Marinette and that Lila had turned over a new leaf, but on the other hand he didn’t like that it wasn’t him at Marinette’s side. If he wasn’t already in love with Ladybug he’d swear he was jealous.
“Welcome home, Adrien. How was your day?”
Adrien turned in surprise-his father never came to greet him at the door. That, and he looked strange. Probably some trouble on the job again.
“Just a bit strange-Lila was Akumatized again.” he replied, and feigning to have missed his father’s twitch-he didn’t exactly like Lila, ever since she had admitted her part in the book trouble. “But it was a strange Akumatization, she kept full control and even scared Papillon by threatening to dress him horribly and lock him in a room with Chloe’s mom if he took away her powers.”
“He threatened him with Audrey?! I wouldn’t do that to my worse enemy.”
“She can’t be that bad…”
“She’s worse. Enough I thought Papillon wouldn’t dare to Akumatize her-that’s the whole reason I gave her that second row seat.”
Adrien took a moment to digest the fact his father had dumped Audrey Bourgeois with serial killers and other people that Papillon was too decent and/or intelligent to Akumatize, then continued relating what had happened.
“Anyway, right after that Lila became so happy she accidentally purified the Akuma, and-father? Father?!”
Adrien wondered why did his father just ran and locked himself in his office before activating the security system-it wasn’t like he was Papillon, and even then Lila didn’t have the means to actually enact that threat. Or did she, and his father thought she’d come there believing they had information useful to track him down? After all, they had a book with information on the Miraculouses and Lila had seen it…
What Does the Fox Says
As many of you guys may have noticed, just as Rena Rouge’s design includes nine “tails” (two in the tuxedo-like tails of her costume and the rest in her hair), so Volpina’s design has four (the belt, the side locks and her immense mane of hair)-and given how terrifying Volpina was, a certain someone obviously had to make a pun with the fact one of the Japanese words for “four” sounds like “death”.
Returning with the phrases in Romanesco: this time it translates as “tie-wearing piece of shit” (as many of you guys know, I use “Papillon” rather than “Hawk Moth” because in Italy a “papillon” is the bowtie and allows me to use that pun). I guess that the side effects of Akumatization impaired Lila’s ability to come up with better insults…
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can u like bullet fic drunk sara and ava being all soft and comforting i really loved the concept
okay i am running with the the ‘six’ drink sara idea i first wrote about here
but it’s not six it’s like 12 because it’s sara not amy santiago
okay. set the scene. it’s the legends Drinking night. one night a month where they just all get utterly smashed. gideon refuses to deal with hangovers more often than that. if they get a hangover any other day of the month then she leaves them to Suffer.
sara takes a couple of months after getting back together before she invites ava because she is Not Scaring Her Off partly she’s worried about what she’s gonna be like partly she’s worried about what the legends are gonna be like
but at like three months they’ve slept over a million times they’re solid and so sara invites her.
sara had already had like two drinks during the day so when the evening starts she’s strictly already at
Two Drink Sara
aka normal sara (she’s an alcoholic is legends ever goign to talk about that i’m pretty sure she’s an alcoholic like she has a genetic predisposition to that anyway) pretty chill. maybe slightly more happy than usual but that might just be because ava has gotten there
Three Drink Sara
getting a little more bubbly. teasing ava a bit more, about like, literally anything, because she’s Comfortable. squishing in closer than is necessary, because ava is nice and warm and cuddly
Four Drink Sara
suddenly she is so touchy feely. if she was cuddly before, now she’s on another plane. not overtly sexual, just wrapping her arms around ava and pulling her in literally as close as possible. cheek kisses. hands everywhere, touching ava because she Can. ava trying to look disapproving at the PDA but she’s two drinks in and she’s just blushing slightly but not stopping sara because sara’s adorable
Five Drink Sara
sara gets five drinks in and suddenly its like Hello It Is Sex Time. the touching like, immediately crosses a line. sara’s hands are Under Ava’s shirt and it’s not strictly visible to anyone else because of how close they are but it’s still like. a thing. ava squirming but still not really pushing her away. sara trying to get into ava’s lap. full on makeouts that the legends only notice because of how long they’re lasting. quick kisses aren’t enough to distract them all from their various drinks/conversations, but sara trying to get ava’s clothes off is like, just about enough
Six, seven, eight
while trying to get ava’s clothes off, sara is, somehow, still drinking, and ava, still only like two drinks in is like. babe. sara. maybe you should stop drinking.
sara keeps drinking. five drinks was kinda peak horny and as she gets more drunk she’s still trying but it’s getting like, less and less effective. like eventually if ava kisses her it pretty much stops her from doing anything else, so she’s not trying to literally fuck ava right in the kitchen because she can’t concentrate on anything else
ava just keeps being sweet but not letting sara push things too far because lbr it’s real hard to resist sara lance when she’s trying to jump you but she restrains herself because Sara is Very Drunk and Ava is a Good Girlfriend
at eight drinks, she gets like... slightly mean? not horribly so, just, at that point, she has basically no filter. she just about knows that ava has stopped them from having sex but isn’t like 100% sure why so is just like. why are you boring. why are you like this.
the legends reassure ava that she always gets mean right about now, and that it’s nothing to worry about. that what she should be worrying about is....
nine, ten
sad sara. after getting mean sara gets sad because like she’s got that cool gives no shit thing going on but inside she’s a freaking softy and she has so much trauma and has done so many terrible things and that drunk, with literally no memory filter, no defense mechanisms up, literally everything is coming back to her, and she’s just breaking down, still drinking
ava is physically trying to stop her drinking at this point. the legends are kinda watching like. shit. she doesn’t usually get this far.
ava doesn’t know what to do with that information because it makes it sound like sara is only like this because of her, and she doesn’t know how to interpret that. like sara felt comfortable enough to go this far but also it’s heartbreaking and eventually all the other legends kinda.... disappear
eleven, twelve
sara downs the last two while ava has turned away. she’s gone right through practically unconscious and is back to trying to piss ava off. she’s still sad, though, and being more conscious makes things worse, so she’s just leaning into ava, face on her shoulder.
ava’s just making soothing sounds and comforting her because like, she’s stone cold sober at this point, and sara’s teasing her/telling her off for that because You’re Supposed to Get Drunk, Ava, That’s The Whole Point and ava is like i would rather be looking after you and sara is all mumbly and still kinda sad and just like. that’s sappy. you’re sappy. i like you.
and ava thinks she’s getting a bit better but then she’s crying again and ava tries to get her to stand up but sara’s legs aren’t working or she’s not letting them work. ava sits back down, pulls a tissue out of her pocket, goes to give it to sara and then is just like fuck it i’ll do it myself, so she’s cleaning up the tears and is just like.
sara. are you okay. and sara is shaking her head and she can’t even look at ava, just goes back in for a hug, obviously needing the touch and the support and they just stay like that for a bit until sara pulls back, looks at ava, is like, suddenly almost completely lucid: i love you. ava says it back, kisses her, and then it’s like the drunkenness hit’s sara all of a sudden again because she’s flopping against ava and ava is like? bed?
and sara just sleepily nods like yes please bed. can’t walk though. legs not working. ava just rolls her eyes because like they probably are working but sara always gets what she wants and in any case she only has to get as far as the portal so Sara gets to be carried for all of five seconds and honestly like sara is tiny but she’s also 95% muscle and that shit is heavy so even Ava ‘giant biceps’ Sharpe can’t get her that far.
sara ends up sat on the bed while ava literally undresses her and she manages one last sleepy innuendo and gets one more eyeroll from ava. she puts on a shirt that is definitely a sleep shirt ava had left for herself, but ava’s not going to complain because seeing sara in her clothes makes her heart grow about ten sizes. she just finds the biggest shirt sara has in her closet and puts that on while sara sits on the end of the bed, practically dozing off.
ava manoeuvres her under the covers like: you couldn’t even do that yourself? sara, sobering up slightly is just like, nope, you have to do everything for me it’s in the girlfriend contract.
ava does the temple kiss and then gideon turns out the lights.
bonus:
hangover sara.
she’s good at not throwing up. as long as she is in the med bay a maximum of five minutes after she wakes up, she’s usually fine. ava wanders over with her. sara gets whatever IV gideon is giving her and is like. so. what embarrassing things did i do last night.
ava, who is a saint, and who isn’t going to embarrass sara over things she said when vulnerable, doesn’t say anything. luckily, gideon has no such qualms and relays everything is exquisite detail.
sara, once she’s heard everything: man, i can’t believe you didn’t let us fuck in front of my crew you’re such a spoilsport.
ava, chucking something at sara’s head: see if i carry u to bed next time you idiot
sara: you’re always gonna bc you’re Soft
Ava:.... maybe
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{{ Book Talk: The Boy Who Sneaks in My Bedroom Window
This question on Goodreads sums up my thoughts.
I don’t know what to say about this book or why I started to read it. I just did when I was looking for The Raven Cycle ‘cause I have a ridiculous crush on a character I don’t even know yet. Ronan.
Anyway, this fucking book. I thought it was like, fanfiction at first. It is certainly written that way. There is such a huge overuse of “he smirked/smirks” and “she smirked/smirks” and other cliche phrases, I’m going to throw up. There’s also an over abundance of the main character, Amber Something, calling other girls whores and sluts and basically slut shaming them for dressing how they want to dress--FOR WHICH THERE IS NO DRESS CODE AT SCHOOL, I GUESS. One of the instances of Amber describing a girl’s skirt was that it fit like a belt or something. Another instance is her putting down other girls for being loose, for wanting to have sex with her brother and his best friend. For being bimbos and ho’s and having no self-respect because apparently this author wrote every fucking woman in her school like this. EVERY WOMAN AT AMBER’S SCHOOL (EXCEPT FOR AMBER) WAS A THIRSTY SLUT OR A BITCH OR A HO after her brother and his best friend’s junk. They literally threw themselves at them, were incredibly bold with their flirtations like touching and grabbing them all the time. Like, these ladies were written desperately thirsty, I felt bad for them. All because the author wanted to portray Amber in a more angelic light or what?
Speaking of, her main love interest gave her the nickname Angel.
Oh, by the way. She slut shames her main love interest, Liam James, too. I only know his goddamn name because everyone calls him by his fucking whole name, like constantly. Don’t get me wrong, I guess he’s some sort of man-whore because he openly flirts with these girls right back so I suppose if she’s going to be calling the women sluts and whores, I’m glad she also calls Liam out for acting the same way??? So does Amber’s brother, Jake, and he’s known to have slept around, etc, etc. Basically everyone but Amber is a big ol’ slut.
Don’t even get me started on how Amber decides to take part of this stupid ass bet to “nail” Liam because he announced he had a girlfriend and ALL THE OTHER GIRLS IN SCHOOL WANT HIM. His fucking pot was raised to 4,000 dollars or something outrageous like that. 20 bucks per girl. They put in 20 dollars EACH into the pot to see who can convince him to virtually cheat on his girlfriend. Which, at this point, is Amber. 4000 dollars. 20per girl. i suck at doing math but is that like 200 girls??? IS THAT RIGHT? DID I DO MY MATHR IGHT? 200 GIRLS ARE AFTER LIAM’S ASS.
I honestly don’t know where to start with this.
I mean, I can start with how it feels incredibly juvenile. Amateurish. Half-finished? There seems to be a lot of details missing in between scenes and the scenes themselves are short as fuck. The transitions are incredibly sloppy, one second Amber is in her bathroom and the next she’s in school.
Can I also note how her eight year old dialogue was incredibly strange. It felt like an older person was talking.
A few more points:
1) she doesn’t want to tell anyone they’re dating. she makes liam wait like 2 weeks to break the news to her overprotective big brother (by two years because they’re both 18 and she’s 16).
2) her best friend magically finds this out because i guess she just does. and all of a sudden she went from thirsty ass bff to supportive ass bff and stops trying to nail Liam AND jake. wait no, she’s still trying to fuck amber’s brother.
3) she’s somehow emo. idk. she wears dark clothing and all the other “sluts” at school call her emo. and how liam will never be into her.
4) liam went from biggest fucking vagina humper to absolutely cult-like dedicated to amber like as soon as they shared their first kiss. i guess that’s sort of sweet if he weren’t a total fuckboy. he said he had been in love with her since he was six??? (which was make her 4 or something) and only slept around with all those women because he figured he’d just fall in love with someone else. he couldn’t have a chance with her because her brother forbid it.
5) brother eventually finds out and comes around like in a manner of minutes. found out because liam and amber have some sort of special technique he uses whenever amber has some sort of anxiety attack about her dad.
6) SPEAKING OF, HER DAD ALMOST RAPED HER when she was like 13.. or idk. something like that. sundays were usually reserved for “special” times when he’d touch her or whatever. basically dad is an abusive assfuck. jake and liam came home early from some kind of hockey game, saw the scene and apparently beat the shit out of the dad.
7) dont even know the extent of how far she was molested because she never fucking talked about it. im opting to believe it was that one instance and she was just milking it. idk.
8) for as much as she went around in the first few chapters of the book saying how much she hated liam, how much she called him a man-slut, etc etc and being mean to him because oh he annoys her sooo much, he’s sooo mean, etc etc, she’s absolutely in love with him even though she’s finding reasons ...not to be. thinking he might cheat on her, get fed up with amber wanting to wait because she’s not letting him have sex yet. mainly because no one else but her mom, jake, and liam can touch her, ever, without her freaking out about it. but in the span of these few chapters ive read, two strangers have kissed her twice now.
8a) first time, liam had to save her because she was drunk and blah blah blah. second time, she was openly flirting with a guy who was all, “i bet if i kiss you i can change your mind about wanting to go out with me” and she was all “i bet you 20 bucks you can’t and also i will kick you in the balls if you try” and what the fuck happened? he kissed her. she kicked him in the balls. liam’s like “that’s my girl” as the dude comes back limping into the room and hands her a 20.
9) “I’d wanted her for so long that I was a little worried that if I ever did get her, that she would never be able to live up to what I had imagined.“ CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT THIS MEANS because to me, Liam saying this about Amber makes me feel like this can almost be an insult lmfao.
10) AND THIS IS THE SEX SCENE, FINALLY BTW:
“You are so beautiful, Angel,” I whispered. She smiled and gripped her hand around the back of my head, guiding my mouth back to hers. I felt my heart swell as I kissed her passionately, showing her just how much I loved and cherished her before I prepared myself to make love to her for the first time.
I smoothed her hair away from her sweaty forehead. She was grinning at me and looked so happy it made my heart skip a beat. “I love you, Angel.” We laid there trying to slow our heart beats. I pressed my face into the crook of her neck kissing her, feeling her rapid pulse under my lips. I felt happier than I had ever felt in my life. After a minute or so, I pulled out of her and rolled to my side. I tightened my arms on her, pulling her close to me, trailing my fingers over her naked, sweaty body, lingering on her breasts. “I’m sorry I hurt you,” I said quietly. I felt awful that I was the one to have to cause her pain, but I guess every girl had to go through that the first time.
Did this author really write “after a minute or so”? I was like, where’s the penetration? I had NO idea they were fucking until he pulled out... A MINUTE LATER.
11) everyone must be a goddamn cat or something because there’s a lot of seductive purring. and I ran into this hilarious count in a review:
Wink count: 48
Purr count: 37
Smirk count: 74
Flirt count: 38
Ass count: 91 (this one was the most annoying...everyone calls each other "hot ass" "sexy ass" "fine ass" nonstop throughout the entire book)
there is plenty more i can say about this train wreck but i think, above all, i was just... surprised it was like... PEOPLE LIKED THIS?? it even had this little thing at the end of the summary:
The international bestselling novel, and finalist of the Goodreads choice awards YA fiction 2012.
like... what... how can people pump out novels like 50 Shades and this mess and I can’t fucking finish a chaptered story? some of the answers answering that question i had tacked on above surprised me too. people were calling it “realistic” -- i had to roll my eyes. there has been no realistic part of this story since i started reading it.
if it were, vampires would exist and they’d sparkle in the goddamn sunlight. frankly, we’d all have our Christian Grey by now, too.
and every time he called her Angel, i just imagined this:
youtube
thank you and goodnight.
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