#by making up relationships with every single person in that world. it was very involved
Note
👀👉🏾👈🏾 Sukuna x Reader ex's to lovers?
wowowow i cant believe im doing like another celebrity au again but here goes nothing ahaha...
i love this trope, i ended up writing a WHOLE, lengthy ass, detailed plotline on it i hope u dont mind <3 (A WHOLE WHOPPING 6K WORDS YALL)
prepare for hella angst, OOC sukuna, insecure fem!reader, ghosting, messy break up, conflicting and complicated feelings + sexual tension and then intense smut @ the end (make up sex)
imagine sukuna being like, an amateur model-turned-actor, with you being his highschool sweetheart, who was there to support him since day one
a very happy, fulfilling relationship for the most part-- until he starts gaining huge amounts of popularity.
youve always known that he was meant and born to reach sky-high levels of success, and you were certain he was going to make it one day
but things get rockier by the second, and insecurity is such an ugly, ugly thing
seeing him model with other beautiful celebrities, acting in roles where he had a love interest to kiss and fondle, reading those gossip scandal articles involving him and another party every few months or so-
it all got too much for you.
all you needed was some reassurance... but young and vivacious sukuna, drunk on this fame and attention, failed to recognise that and left you feeling neglected.
not on purpose tho, he's never engaged in infidelity, he's never gazed upon someone else with lust or love on his mind - he was using everyone around him as a stepping stone towards his own career
sukuna's known you since forever, and he was confident that you knew his affection for you was unwavering... so he failed to understand where you were coming from whenever you brought these things up
arguments after arguments after arguments
the worst part of it was that he wanted to keep his relationship with you a secret. saying something about how having a significant other would slow his progress in his career down... the decision was urged on by the entertainment company that he was in a contract with
it hurt so damn much when he was being interviewed on tv about his romantic life, only for him to tell the world he was single.
it leads to more arguing.
of course, as a rising celebrity, he was quite awfully busy with many business trips and attending a lot of parties and galas
another terrible fight occurred right before he had to leave for a flight overseas but by then, youd pretty much already decided that you were going to leave him
you basically ghosted him, packing all your belongings overnight, blocking his number and all his social media accounts, making sure even all yours and his mutual friends didn't know of your whereabouts. you're going to start fresh. and give him no closure.
it was petty revenge, and maybe immature of you, but you were just as young as he was, and you wanted him to hurt as badly as you were hurting back then.
sukuna's still overseas, having just come back from another fancy gathering and is fresh out of the shower, in his hotel room... he decides he's gonna try and give you a call, but ofc you don't pick up
he sighs and convinces himself that he'll sort things out with you later when he gets back, not knowing that there won't be a 'later'.
meanwhile you're dragging a suitcase out of the apartment, taking a taxi somewhere else far away, crying as you pass by giant billboards that have pictures of sukuna plastered all over
he feels like such a faraway person now. no longer someone who you used to cuddle closely in bed, or hold hands with. you're not even sure of who you are without him anymore.
you could imagine his reaction when he came home, only to find your entire existence missing. seriously, it was like you were never there. you left nothing of yours behind, and the place was cleaned spick and span, not a hair of yours to be found.
when was the last time sukuna felt so panicked?? this dull ache in his chest, as he spams you calls and texts that never reach you
he contacts mutual friends in rotation but everyone is absolutely clueless... he considers filing a missing persons case but then a trusted friend of yours tells him to not look for you... and that you wanted them to relay a message to him, just a simple goodbye.
what the fuck are you talking about?
oh, here comes a severe headache.
his mind is whirring with overlapping memories, thoughts, regrets, thinking about any clues that might give away where you couldve gone, but theres simply nothing
the shock moves into sorrow, then denial, and then it turns to anger. does he mean nothing to you? so much so that youd abandon him without saying a word?
its like he was going through the five stages of grief, but for someone who he knew was still alive..
eventually, he finds a rebound out of spite. if youve left him, then it's means he's free and single, right? he gets himself piss-drunk, and beds another, only to wake up feeling absolutely disgusted. it feels like... it feels like he's cheated on you. even though you're already gone. he's just a mess of conflicting emotions, and it lasts for so long.
the reason why he doesnt hire someone or use some other underhanded method to actually look for you is because of a weird mixture of both his pride and feelings of insecurity, thinking that maybe, just maybe, you do deserve someone better, someone who understands you more... (and he's also fearful that someone like you, might've already found love somewhere else, and he's definitely not confident that he'll be able to act maturely if he sees its true)
eventually, acceptance does come... but does it really?
i like to think he went through many failed relationships, his partners always leaving him upon witnessing him getting intoxicated and calling for none other than your name in his state. someone who no one around him knows anymore.
years pass, and time really does allow you to forget. for both you and sukuna alike. in your mid thirties, both of you are single at this time.
you've been busy with your new job at some company (dont ask me, i was too lazy to decide what kind, so u guys can make this one up bye), and he made sure to keep himself busy as well. no time for fleeting romance.
of course, until fate does that weird thing where it pushes people together again... a new project lands in your lap, where it involves some kind of collaboration with THE celebrity, ryomen sukuna. of fucking course.
you really did desperately try to get it off and pass this off to some other colleague but they insisted your involvement was necessary. what are you supposed to do? you almost decide to quit... but this job means a lot to you... you can't just throw everything away because of an ex... right?
and, oh my god, when the first meeting does happen, involving the celebrity himself, you and a couple other coworkers to discuss the project, sukuna sees you and his brain short circuits for a moment.
he starts doubting his own vision, and then he reminisces, in the middle of whatever the fuck everyone else was talking about during the meeting.
"... Mr. Ryomen?" one of the other participants ask.
he clears his throat, regains his composure and regathers his focus. he's an actor for god's sake. and he starts speaking, with thoughts of you in the back of his mind. about how much youve changed, but also remained exactly the same...
during introductions, you shake his hand and act professionally. his eye twitches. will you continue to pretend not to know him even afterwards? should he talk to you separately after this? no... doing that would mean he's the desperate one...
when you saw sukuna hesitating, part of you felt relieved. so you're not the only one getting freaked out. you don't expect him to acknowledge you anymore, though.
after the meeting, he walks out feeling confident that he's going to ignore you back, if this was the kind of game you're going to play with him. you mean nothing to him, just as he means nothing to you.
but he remembers the shock that went down his spine at the feeling of the warmth in your hand. he watches you take an elevator by yourself, and tries to make a split second decision on whether he wants to let you go, or if he wants to chase you down.
he probably shouldn't bother.
but he impulsively speed walks down towards you, anyway.
youre startled when the elevator doors are blocked from closing just at the last second, with someone's arm coming through between. your heart skips a beat seeing that it's none other than sukuna.
what is this sensation? this mix of fear and... excitement. you should be unperturbed. you're over him. he's someone from the past. you're buzzing with these feelings, but there also comes a creeping resentment that finds its way to you again, as you try to remember why you left him in the first place.
he unclicks whatever level you were heading to, and clicks on the highest level instead. he's gonna take you to the rooftop of the building, where he can confront you peacefully.
"Mr. Ryomen? Is there something wrong?" you ask him. still feigning ignorance. like salt to a wound. you know its another petty move from your part, but you can't help yourself.
"Don't call me that. You know damn well why I'm here," Sukuna drawls, sounding more sad than angry. they've really become strangers.
you grow silent, being hit with a pang of guilt. deep down, you knew you shouldve handled it more maturely than that. he deserved closure, and you needed it too. but isn't it too late for all that now?
the conversation flows tense, but unravels slowly. there's still a lot of questions being withheld though. he wants to ask you how youve been. were you able to sleep peacefully after you left him? why did you have to leave in the worst way possible?
a familiar headache creeps up.
simultaneously, the anger finds its way in his heart all over again. he knows he didn't do much good towards the end of their relationship either but ghosting him was plain disrespectful and childish.
you surprise him when you give a sudden heartfelt apology.
you tell him that you know apologising now after all these years is frankly almost meaningless but still, he didnt deserve to be left behind in that kind of way. you admit that you should've communicated with him properly that you were breaking up with him.
he's left kinda speechless, bc he was so ready to be all snarky to you after everything.. he's still mad, but he can't really say shit anymore without sounding like too much of an asshole.
truth be told, if you did stay around to tell him that you were breaking up with him beforehand, he probably wouldn't have let you go... where would you guys be now, if you never separated?
"i've always wanted to apologise. it's been weighing on me ever since i left."
...and yet, you didn't ever think to call or text him even once afterwards? he never changed his number in hopes for that, and he hates himself for it.
"i understand that you hate me now, but let's try to get through the collaboration without trouble. and then we can part ways again."
that one pierces his heart, like a bullet. you haven't said anything technically wrong. he should hate you. or at least, he should feel indifferent by now. and yet... the way that you automatically assume so irks him badly.
"do you really believe that i hate you? aren't you the one that hates me?"
it's a stupid fucking question. what the fuck is he even saying? he wants to kick the elevator door.
"...i left because i thought you hated me, that you didn't need me anymore. and i tried to convince myself that i hated you too. but that couldn't be further from the truth. even now, i don't ha-"
before you can say any more, the elevator doors open, and a small group of employees are standing outside them, looking curiously in at you and sukuna. then, they realise who he is. they come flocking in, asking for autographs and pictures.
you quietly slip out of the crowd, and after giving one quick glance at sukuna, who visibly wants to pursue you again, you walk away to avoid gathering attention on yourself. wait-! dammit- he thinks.
he can't chase after you. he can't call out for you to stop. he can't push all of these people away. if he did, it will cause rumours and unfavourable articles to fly out. let's try to get through the collaboration without trouble. his own fame becomes another obstacle between you and him.
back then, you were his whole world, yet somewhere along the path, he started to fail in making you feel like it.
he watches you take the fire exit towards the emergency stairs, while he's surrounded by overbearing fans who beg for his attention. you're going to have to walk down in your heels, all because of him. as he catches the final glimpse of you, as he's reluctantly dealing with his fans, he begins to understand, a little bit. he didn't want to understand why you decided to leave him. but he does now. a little.
a couple of stairwells down, you eventually pause for a moment and sit down on the last step to take a breather. you wipe your sweaty palms against your skirt. the familiar tug at your heart, in which your insecurities come flowing back to you, seeing him surrounded. you need to build higher, stronger walls around you from now.
when sukuna is done on his end, and sends them off down the elevator, he goes off to check down the stairs you went, but you've already booked it. slipped right through his fingers. you were about to say something important. with unresolved feelings, sukuna also takes the stairs down, with a heavy heart. each step down brings him another old, nostalgic memory of you to him.
from then on, the more he interacts with you during work-related matters, the more apparent it becomes that he still harbors feelings for you. he tries to ignore it, push it back down, but it only returns twice as overwhelming.
your voice. the way you smile. the scent of your perfume. exactly the same as back then. yet, he also observes the changes that have occurred in you; how you act, speak and the kinds of words you use, as well as seeing you in such a professional setting rather than personal - everything is coming together to allure him more, and he's in a state where he's unable to resist this attraction, but also unable to act on it, because he's not sure how you'd react to it.
he knows it's not just him getting drunk on nostalgia.
the next time he catches you alone, he makes sure to tell you that he doesn't hate you like you believe he does. you'd never admit it, but that gave you butterflies in your stomach.
in fact, everything sukuna does, even just locking eyes with you for a few seconds, is enough to make your heart rate increase, intensifying when he looks at you almost like... almost like he wants you. you must be imagining things.
he finds himself doing uncharacteristic deeds, like sending coffee for all the staff members. his manager passes them out to everybody, including you. he doesn't know if you still like your coffee the same way as he remembers, but he makes sure that yours is a little different, a little more specific than everyone else's, in hopes that you'll notice these small gestures of his.
over the course of the project, he inches closer to you, ever so slowly. but you don't seem to budge. even worse, you seem to be avoiding him as much as you possibly can. you avert your gaze from his. stagger away when he gets close.
he brings it up on one occasion, when he's able to approach you at the back of the building, where there's no one around, and no watchful eyes of a nosy audience. it's definitely frustrating and unpleasant- when he wants to speak with you, he has to keep distance in case another scandal rises. he doesn't want to drag you into the spotlight, without knowing if you're okay with it first.
sukuna only really talks to you when there's nobody around. maybe he's being considerate of you, but it gives you the impression that he doesn't want to be seen hanging around with you. it makes you remember things you don't want to. it makes you remember that being with him now requires a courage that you're not sure that you have. at the very least, you know you definitely didn't have it back then.
you keep conversations short with him, and try to leave. but he keeps at it persistently. what is he trying to do? is he toying with you?
"you're acting like you want us to get back together. don't do things that'll make me misunderstand," you tell him. you were trying to provoke him. expecting him to deny it harshly and back away, because you knew he was prideful- he'd never be caught being hung up over an ex.
"...and? what if i told you that i do want that? would you stop avoiding me then?" he takes one step forward, and you take one back, proving his point.
why is he pushing aside his ego for you? where did all his arrogance go off to? this isn't how the sukuna in his twenties would've responded. his answer makes you waver, and you don't appreciate that. you try not to show it.
"no. i'd only begin to avoid you even more. so don't start."
"i'm not," you deny, but your voice betrays you. he clings onto that.
"why? ...afraid that you'd cave in to me?"
like the way he's already pretty much caved in for you?
"you don't sound very convincing."
"...would you want someone who'd choose their career over you?"
that stops him in his tracks. he has nothing to say to that. because he did make that mistake. where he prioritised his job over your feelings.
"i don't hate or blame you for that anymore, sukuna. but you have to understand... i don't want to go through that pain ever again. i don't want to hold you back. we both deserve more compatible partners."
your own words sting yourself, and you try to go again right after saying that, because it's getting too much for you. his hand flies out to grab yours out of instinct, to stop you from leaving. leaving him again.
it's really not like him to be the clingy ex, pathetically begging to be taken back, but he's willing to throw such pride away if it means you'll be appeased. if you'll let him back into your life again.
"don't say that. you never held me back-- you were my home and my everything, and i was the one that started to take you for granted," he says gently, his low voice laced with sorrow, so uncharacteristically. you've only ever heard this kind of tone from him once before, and it was when his grandfather, who was like a parent to him, had passed away. his thumb brushes over your hand.
"give me another chance. this time i'll let the whole world know about us. about how much you mean to me."
he gets in close ever so slowly, and you let him, for only a moment, before gently pushing him away, with a hand on his chest.
sukuna hitches in a breath, heart sinking to his stomach. he wants to embrace you so, so, so bad. he needs your warmth. always has been. always will. but he sees that you're unrelenting, which breaks him.
"no, stop... i'm sorry, i can't."
you're still scared. you keep thinking about how lonely you felt when you were with him, at least right before the break up. seeing him laughing through the tv screen. alone in the living room. and all the arguments.
your hand slips out of his, and he lets you go. he feels empty when you walk away. hollow. the similar feeling he felt when you first left him, but less anguish and more despair. when he gets home, he tries to drink those feelings away. something he rarely does. old regrets and heartaches return, and he drinks until he passes out.
while he drinks, you weep. crying into your pillow, wondering if you're doing the right thing. wondering if this is how it's supposed to be. terrified of being with him again, but also terrified of losing him, like a hypocrite.
from then on, sukuna keeps a respectful distance from you... no longer trying to make approaches in secret, no longer pursuing you every chance he gets. but he still sends out coffee. even provides snacks to the crew. little do they know, they're the kinds of snacks that he knows you loved. hopefully, you still do. he'll keep his distance because it's what you want, but he wishes to keep doing these little things for you. subtly.
and you notice it, too. you have vivid memories of telling him about your favourites and preferences back then, and you recognise what he's trying to do. you drink the coffee. and you always grab a handful of the snacks. you do appreciate it. it makes you happy that he remembers. on a few occasions, you turn to look at him, only to witness him looking away at the last second.
it's not too long before the project is successfully finalised, and all their efforts have been rewarded. a celebration is due, and your boss throws a party at a fancy hotel for everyone to enjoy themselves at. sukuna had stopped going to so many gatherings and parties quite a while ago, but he attends knowing that you'll be there as well. he'll see you for the final time before he'll lose any excuses to be around you ever again. it'll be the final night.
you exchange a few words with him at the venue, but the two of you leave each other to mingle with other groups reluctantly, to avoid suspicion. both of you are quite tense all throughout the night, sipping on some wine to ease it, but it still doesn't relax the tension you feel, no matter how far away sukuna stands from you.
a few hours in, and you decide to excuse yourself early to head up into your designated hotel room. your boss covered the expenses for a night, and it would've been a waste to decline it, so you decided to stay. sukuna isn't around anywhere at the venue anymore, so you assume he's already left. you thought about saying farewell, but it didn't seem appropriate after you flat out rejected him. you still have doubts about the decision. because you miss him. but what's done is done, and you can't take back what you've already said.
however, getting to the hotel elevator, you notice he's standing there, with miraculous timing. you awkwardly "hey" him, and he says it back, hands in his pockets.
the two of you step inside when it arrives, and the thick tension remains.
"i'm surprised. i thought you'd be staying around longer for the party," you tell him.
he can't tell you that he found it unbearable, to see you hanging around other people, but being unable to get closer to you himself.
"i just got a bit tired," he lies. "did you have a lot to drink?"
"not at all. i had a few glasses, but i'm still sober."
"same here."
as the lift gets closer to your level, you get antsy, thinking about what to say before you leave, but your thoughts get interrupted when he asks you something abruptly.
"...can i walk you to your room? for the last time."
you swallow thickly on nothing, and feel how your chest aches at the words. last time.
"alright. sure," you say.
he wasn't expecting you to say yes, but he's glad you're letting him stay beside you a little longer. you're staring at the elevator doors, but he's looking at your face from the side. if only the lift would malfunction and stop, right here.
but it doesn't, and soon, he's really walking beside you as you get to your hotel room door, in silence. you unlock it using your key, and then that's it.
"thanks for walking me here," you say rather sheepishly. the thought of him wanting to spend even a few more seconds with you... your hold on the door knob is tight as you stand, face turned around to look at him. it's taking everything in you to stand your ground. last minute guilt and regrets are bombarding your thoughts, and...
"i'll say this now because i probably won't get another chance again," sukuna starts, looking directly into your eyes. his eyes are mellow, and he looks wistful.
"i'm sorry. i realised i never apologised, even though that's the first thing you did for me," he starts. he knows there's a mountain of reasons he is apologising for, but he decides he'll keep this short for your sake.
".. i can't lie to you and say that i wish for your happiness with someone else. 'm not that nice." you know it the best. and you understand, because you don't think you'd be able to withstand seeing him happy with someone else, either.
"find your happiness elsewhere, thanks," he grunts humorously. for god's sake. he's never been good at things like this. being heartfelt. at least it made you chuckle a bit. his expression of indignation melts away into a melancholic one again.
"i still love you." (always have, always will.)
you fight back sudden tears, and your throat begins to ache. sukuna unclenches his fist, and tries to relax himself more.
"and...i'll miss you," he breathes the phrase out. says it so quietly, like it hurts for him to say. (i don't want to let you go.)
something snaps within you and everything starts to scream at you to take everything back, and stop him from going away. don't go- don't go- don't go-
"...goodnight."
he notices your wet eyes, and he has to fight back against the urge to reach out and wipe it away. to rescind his farewell, and pull you into his arms again - forcefully, if he has to. he needs to leave, before he loses control.
you're panicking, and your vision is swimming, and you don't think you'll ever be happy again if you let him go like this-- you're gonna be heartbroken in the worst way imaginable. you want him back, and you know you're being unreasonable after turning him down like that, but you don't care anymore. you want to go against your fears. you want to try being with him again.
before you can stop yourself, your hand catches onto the hem of sukuna's sleeve, seconds before he takes another step away from you.
his eyes widen, and he looks at your grip on his sleeve, like he's checking to see if it's real, and he's not making this shit up in his mind. his heart beats impossibly fast. his hopes skyrocket. the world decided to have mercy on him.
"...you're being unfair, grabbing onto me like this. after i went through hell just now, trying to say goodbye." he's being awfully patient right now.
you don't respond, only silently weeping.
he waits to see if you'll let go, whether this was just an act out of a temporary fickle in your heart, but your grip remains tight, and you're now just looking up at him with tears rolling down, eyes glossy and desperate, pulling at his heart strings. you only let go when he comes back to you, not hesitant to brush his thumbs across your face now, wiping the wetness away.
"what do you want me to do? tell me, and i'll do it. leave? stay?" sukuna coos at you, like he's always done before, waiting patiently until you've calmed down enough to respond properly.
"i shouldn't... i shouldn't let you in. not after how much i'd pushed you away," you whisper. today was supposed to mark the end of it all.
he doesn't even give a fuck about that anymore. what matters is now.
"...but do you want to let me in?"
"...yes," you hic.
he takes a couple of steps forward, making you step back with him, his hand on your waist to make sure you don't trip on the way. he goes past the doorway and into your hotel room slowly. one- two- three- steps. he closes the door behind him quietly.
"and..? what next?" he asks in a low voice, standing close to you, one hand still remaining on your waist, and the other on your upperarm.
"i... i don't know. i just need you," you mumble, looking up at him, eyes red from crying and half-closed. your hands inch up along his back, grabbing handfuls of his suit jacket. sukuna hitches in a breath and something dark flashes across his eyes. they reflect his desire, his almost carnal desperation for you-
"forgive me. i don't think i can hold myself back, anymore."
he captures your lips in his, and groans shamelessly into you. you grip onto him tighter, heart beating so rambunctiously that you fear he can hear it too. it feels too good. the moment he reached you, it felt like the final piece of a puzzle clicking in to complete a full picture.
you part your mouth, and he wastes no time in slipping his tongue inside, kissing you in the way he knows you love, in the way it makes your lips tingle, and, oh god, even after all these years, he still knows how to get you going like no other.
sukuna tastes the traces of wine on your tongue, and even better, he tastes you, the one he'd been missing and craving all this time, the warmth of your skin and touch, your scent, just everything about you, you, you.
he backs you towards the bed, without breaking this breathless, hungry kiss, where he softly lays you down, with him being above you, chest to chest, arms supporting his weight. he momentarily pulls away from you simply just to breathe, and the two of you gaze at each other for a hot second, full of love and lust, breaths overlapping one another. he attempts to ask you "do you still wanna continue?" just in case, but before he gets to say a word, you grab him by his tie and pull his lips to yours again, beginning to loosen it and take it off.
he understands that you want it, now. you successfully manage to untie it, somehow, with just willpower alone, and you start aiming for his buttons next, undoing them one by one. your actions send sparks down to all of his limbs, and he feels so fulfilled by your desire of him, being as intense as how he obsesses over you.
soon after you're done with it, he takes them off and chucks his own clothes away, rendering him half-naked. your hole clenches around nothing at the sight once he pulls away again, his firm muscles and the same old tattoos that you vividly remembered the patterns of. you greedily run your palms across his pecs, eyes turning to hearts. he smirks at you.
it's his turn now, and he doesn't hesitate to start undressing you as well. sukuna gets dizzy at the thought of being able to feast his eyes on your body. he dives in to keep kissing you, and then begins to unbutton you with such speed, it almost startles you.
it's off. your breasts are out in the open now, and sukuna has his fill with massaging them with his large hand, having missed them so much. his palm feels so hot, and your nipples pebble up at his touch, making you gasp into his mouth.
his kiss moves over to the side of your face, it glides down your neck, shoulders, and eventually reaches the swell of your chest. your fingers brush through the pink of his hair as he does so, and you purse your lips together, basking in the feeling of his warm kisses littering your skin. he leaves you hickeys-- the same shape and size and same locations as he used to even during your days in highschool, and you chuckle to yourself at the thought.
it's not long before he's loosening your skirt and slipping your undergarments down, getting rid of your slick-stained panties, much to his satisfaction. sukuna rubs a thumb over your aroused clit, and you whimper, having missed the touch of a man- his touch specifically.
"fuck... you're so wet.... all for me?" he asks, proceeding to slip two fingers into your weeping hole. you arch your back at the feeling, how his thick digits scissor inside of you and press up against a particularly lovely spot. he watches your every response as he does so, watching how you moan because of his touch, and how you're grabbing at his wrist because it's getting too intense. his cock prods uncomfortably against his pants. you're producing so much slick, and his fingers are getting absolutely drenched.
when he takes them out, you whine a little in disappointment.
"i know, i know. i'll give you something better," he whispers, kissing your cheek.
he unbuckles himself, and lowers his boxers to reveal his aching dick, tip wet with precum, veins bulging out the sides. looks the same as you remember. he pumps it a couple of times with his hand that's still covered with your slick, and he twitches. this isn't a dream, is it?
"oh god, please, i need it-" you plead, your hole feeling eager and empty.
"it's all yours," he mumbles. your begging makes him lightheaded as he lines himself up at your weeping cunt.
"i'm all yours."
when he sinks in deep to the hilt, you cry out at the fullness, as his tip pushes the spot inside you that had been feeling so lonely for years. your hands finds themselves against his back, feeling for his tight muscles.
"shit- 'm gonna lose my mind," sukuna groans as he gives a few shallow thrusts into you, cock so hard and throbbing wildly as your plush walls clamp on him and coats him with your arousal. he grabs one of your hands from his back and interlocks his fingers with yours against the mattress, before leaning down to bring his lips against the side of your neck.
"oh, thank god... thank god, you changed your mind. i love you. i would've been so fucking miserable without you, doll. for the rest of my life," he croons, breath fanning so close to your ear. you shudder at the tone of his voice, tearing up again, mixed with pleasure and relief, and you grab his hand tighter.
you turn your head a little more to the side, making it easier for sukuna to bite and suck on the sensitive skin of your neck, as his thrusts increase in speed, nudging your g-spot with every movement.
soon enough, he's bringing his attention back to your tongue, which he caresses with his own, nibbling on your lower lip, maintaining this same perfect pace in his thrusts that brings you closer to your orgasm.
"sukuna- i'm- i'm gonna-" you say breathlessly.
but he merely kisses you again, swallowing up any words you could say or moans you could let out, not minding the gasps and whimpers that you make.
sweat beads on his perfect body, and he makes out with you through your high, groaning back when he feels your walls flutter around him. he's close. even once you've finished cumming, he begins to pound into you quicker, wanting to get to his own orgasm. you claw at his back, crying out in pleasure, as sukuna's tongue lathers your jawline.
he wants to breed you so fucking bad. but no, that'll have to wait. he can't do something to jeopardize your trust in him. he'd rather die than endure another second of being distanced from you again.
right before he's pushed off the edge, sukuna pulls out and desperately jerks himself off above your stomach, panting as his cock throbs in his hand with every spurt that coats you, feeling so hot against your tummy.
you feel a twinge of disappointment, because you also wanted to feel that in your womb...
his dick twitches weakly after being spent, and he breathes heavily, liking the sight of you being covered in his seed for another time. (and many more from now.)
" 'kuna... it's a safe day for me today," you suggest to him without thinking. "i want it inside me..."
the phrase is enough to get heat pooling in his abdomen, and he feels himself get hard all over again.
"you sure, doll? if it's what you want, i'll..." he begins to say, almost flustered by your suggestion. you know you shouldn't say this next line, but it's so easy to get carried away with this man... get caught up in the heat of the moment.
"i want your babies so bad."
you've hit his switch. sukuna growls and puts you into a mating press instantaneously, making you squeak.
"no takebacks," he mutters dangerously, beginning the second round.
the night is long, but heavenly, as soon after he dumps everything he has into your womb, then proceeds to eat you out, making you cry for the third time before sunrise.
when you're awake, it's already heading past midday, and you're relieved to see that yesterday's happenings were not a dream, seeing as the large man is sleeping with an iron hold around your body, as if subconsciously afraid you'd leave him before he woke up again.
he awakens from his slumber to your light, feathery touches on his face, which puts him in a good mood from the moment he opens an eye. it was the scenario he's always dreamed of. waking up next to you, smiling.
there's much to talk about. about what's to come next, future plans, worries, and things they need to do to make amends for all the lost years between each other. but you decide to take things slow.
back to bullet points again bc im lazy to write it properly now
you spend the weekend w him at the hotel and stuff, just playing eating and sleeping, catching up yk
he tells you on his own accord that he wants to let everyone know that he's with you now, but he's worried that it'll bring backlash to you but you tell him you're going to be brave and take it, bc you WANT everyone to know
anyway prepare for turbulence
but everything'll be alright bc hes with you
im thinking about how mopey he'll be when you have to separate from him bc you each have your own homes rn, hes always asking you to come over or if he can come over to your place
and he'll be begging you to move in soon, like old times (he lives in a rich man house now tho)
and also thinking about how its a fresh start, but they also go through old memories and now reminiscing isnt painful anymore bc yall are back together
sukuna also says he's stopped doing romance genres in acting bc he had felt annoyed acting in lovey dovey scenes when his own love life used to be in shambles all the time
and bc hes at a point in his career where he has more choice in choosing between scripts that are offered to him, he's going to continue to decline the ones that have love interests, it doesnt affect him that much anyway
he's just being more considerate of your feelings now... and you promised him that you'll never just disappear like that again when you're upset haha...
sometimes when you still have a few disagreements with him, he keeps subtly checking up on you (hes traumatised, leave him be)
lots of facetiming when he has to go overseas for filming purposes <3
okay, thats all, bye <3
Masterlist
#sukuna x reader#sukuna smut#sukuna#sukuna x you#ryomen sukuna x reader#sukuna x y/n#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#ryomen sukuna#jujutsu kaisen x y/n#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen smut#poe answers
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
✿ It's The Little Things - 3 ✿
A/N: @leafyturtle come get y'all Franky and Robin fluff!
I'm excited for this one, lotsa faves in here >:3c
Summary: Little relationship things with (currently) anime/manga exclusives ✿
Characters: Franky, Robin, Law, Kid, Killer
Content: SFW, G/N reader, language in Kid's (bc it's Kid lol) bottomless fluff ✿
(Part 1 - Luffy, Zoro, Nami, Usopp, Sanji)
(Part 2 - Buggy, Shanks, Mihawk)
(Part 4 - Crocodile, Rosinante, Doflamingo)
Franky
✿ Multiply his self-aggrandizing by 100, and that's how he sees you; he is your personal hype man! Every single insecurity, no matter how big or small, will be kissed away, because you are perfect, and you should definitely tell people as such. Wait, you're too shy and don't want to? No worries, Franky's got you, and he'll tell everyone himself. Loudly. No, he won't stop or tone it down; "The world needs to know how super you are!" He loves when you hype him up in turn, and uses it to show you how great self confidence is; and it will rub off on you. He's so proud when you declare how amazing you are, even if it's just to him! "AOW! That's right, babe, you are amazing!" He'll pick you up in those huge, strong arms of his, practically crushing you in a bear hug.
✿ Franky loves to make you any and all gadgets he thinks you'd like, or need. Just as he is constantly upgrading his body, he develops and re-develops things that make your life easier, or that bit cooler! While he likes to surprise you with them, seeing how your eyes light up in wonder as he shows you how it works, he loves it even more when you're involved in the building process; brainstorming ideas, designing, picking out the colour palette, he'll even let you use a blowtorch, just, please be careful, wait what was that twinkle of mischief in your eyes? Okay, no more blowtorch - leave it to the pro! It would kill him if you got hurt on his watch, he's meant to protect you!
✿ He's made up a comfy little alcove in his workshop so you can keep him company while he's working. Soft cushions, blankets, lights so can work on your own hobbies, it's perfect! Even when you were just friends, you were always welcome there, and it's become your little safe space. It's comfy enough to fall asleep there when Franky works late, and he even modified it so that there is room for him to sleep there too. While hanging out, you'll talk about everything, and nothing, what you're both working on, or you'll simply listen to music and enjoy each others presence, and that often leads to loud singing, especially on Franky's part. He'll share his cola with you too, you just bring the snacks - can't work on an empty stomach after all!
Robin
✿ Robin is very calm and reserved, especially compared to the rest of the crew, so her way of showing affection follows the same pattern. She'll put a gentle hand on your arm, and touch your foreheads together, but her favourite thing to do is to grow an arm out of your own, reaching down to hold your hand, all while on the other side of the room, smiling to herself. If your eyes are sharp, you'll catch the delicate blush on her cheeks when you bring your arm up to kiss her hand, or gently hold it to your cheek. She'll also make a pair of arms to wrap around your waist, or shoulders if you're sat down. She'll hold you personally too, but that is saved for your private quarters or the library.
✿ Part of her flirting is making dark comments and jokes; "I know the best way to your heart, dear." - "Through my stomach?" - "Oh no, that's not very efficient! It's anywhere between the 2nd and 4th ribs." She'll say it with such a loving gaze and gentle smile, and if you didn't know Robin better, you'd be worried she was plotting your murder, but that's just how she is, and you love her for it. She will also tell you all the gruesome details she finds in her books and research. Part of you suspects that she's purposefully trying to spook you so she can comfort you, but really she just finds these thing fascinating. Robin will be ecstatic if you can match her gallows humour, or if you have morbid facts of your own you can share with her.
✿ She takes great comfort in the fact that you love her unconditionally, and that you have always accepted her as she is, morbid interests, and former associations included, and she makes sure that you know she loves you all the same, no matter your quirks, flaws, and mistakes, for that is the beauty of love! You are each others port in the unrelenting storm of life.
Law
✿ Law is so used to losing the people he loves most, so for him to open up, it will take a lot of time, patience, and understanding. You can't push him on things, and will have to wait for him to come to you - he needs to feel like he has some control over the situation so he can make better judgement calls, and do something if it all goes wrong. It's nothing personal, he just doesn't want to helplessly watch his world fall apart again; he's older, smarter, and much stronger now, he will keep those he cares about safe. Once he's at that point where he feels like he's ready to be open and honest, he is completely dedicated and doggedly loyal, though he isn't very expressive with it.
✿ He shows his love through acts of service; making sure you are eating and sleeping well, tending any injuries you get in day to day life, moving you if you've fallen asleep in a weird place or position so you don't get any aches and pains, or catch a cold. Law hopes that you can feel the love he has for you in each action. He just wants to know you are healthy and well so he doesn't need to worry about you. Well, he says that, but he still worries, he can't help it. You'll need to use his own tactics against him to make sure he actually sleeps and eats instead of just working. It won't always work, sometimes he's working on things that are far too important, but he will relent otherwise.
✿ PDA is not a thing for him. At all. It's almost like he doesn't want to jinx things with the world seeing he has entrusted his heart with another again. On the Polar Tang, when it's just you and the crew, he'll be a little more open, placing a hand on your head or shoulder, matching your pace as he walks beside you, slightly gentler eyes, and the hint of a smile; so subtle, yet the crew sees right through him, and they like to tease you both. Nothing serious, but it still gets them the worst chores in response. In private, when you are alone is the only time will he allow himself to be vulnerable.
Kid
✿ Given how intense and aggressive he is, you have the patience of a goddamn saint, and guts to back you up. He refuses to lessen himself for anyone; he is who he is, and you can either accept it and embrace him fully, or you can, in his words, "Fuck right off!" It will take a lot to break through the immense barriers he has - he will shout, argue, insult, and to get through, you have to be able to withstand that without crumbling. Shout back! Show him you're not gonna let anyone walk all over you, not even him, earn his respect, then you can build up from there. Once you've wormed your way into that exclusive club of 'We aren't Killer, but Kid still cares about us," he will be ride or die with you, and when he realises he genuinely likes you, or hell, even loves you, he would burn down the world for you if you asked him to.
✿ Out in public, you get no special treatment. It's just safer that way. He can't afford to be looking over his shoulder every other minute to make sure no one is trying to get to him through you. He'll still keep an eye on you of course, but it's indistinguishable from him watching over the rest of the crew. On the Victoria Punk he will be possessive, but not affectionate. Kid will keep you by his side, or drag you onto his lap, just generally manhandling you really, there will be no mistaking who you belong to. Once you're alone he will actually soften up; he knows he's a lot, and he cares deep down, but he's still in charge, he is your captain after all. You should take advantage of this time to get all the affection out of him that you can!
✿ You're one of the few that are actually allowed to hang in his workshop, as long as you don't bother him. He'll entertain some conversation if he's just setting up, or having a break, but once he's in the zone, zip it. He's fine with you watching him work - he's good at what he does and he knows it, but seeing the admiration in your eyes is a nice ego boost. He'll make you things if the mood hits him, particularly bits of jewellery, as it makes it easier to manhandle you from the other side of the room. He's a busy man, he doesn't want to wait for you to look his way and walk over, he wants your attention now!
Killer
✿ Like Kid, Killer has a tendency to manhandle, but it's not nearly as aggressive; he's a big guy with big, strong muscles, and he just enjoys hauling you around like a sack of potatoes. It gives him the opportunity to hold you close, 'accidentally' touch your butt, and your laughter through it all is just so sweet. He greatly enjoys your presence when he's going about his day, and deeply appreciates any assistance you can offer, such as in the kitchen, and certainly when trying to manage his idiot best friend and crew, as he's essentially the de facto caretaker on board. Often you'll end up sat on his shoulders, acting as an extra pair of eyes and hands - no shenanigans go unnoticed!
✿ You have become an expert at reading Killer's moods and expressions through his mask, every slight shift of his body, and the angle of his head has a very specific meaning. It doesn't help that he's a quiet man in general; balancing Kid's incessant ranting and raving with his well thought out, straight to the point statements. He much prefers to listen to you talk, only talking when he has something to add to the mostly one-sided conversation. He loves having these 'chats' with you sat in his lap, head resting against his broad chest. Sometimes his goatee will tickle the top of your head, and he lives for those giggles.
✿ It will take a long time for him to feel comfortable enough to remove his mask, and you can bet he refuses to laugh around you for the longest time. Just be patient with him, and let him do things when he's ready, and don't make a big deal out of it if something slips; he'll be pretty mortified, so just giving him a loving smile and a gentle touch will reassure him that maybe the things he's insecure about, or straight up hates, aren't as big an issue as he believes them to be. Telling him he is perfect is appreciated, but not effective in building him up, since nothing is perfect really, but seeing you love him unconditionally certainly will give him a boost.
#one piece imagine#one piece x reader#one piece x you#cyborg franky#nico robin#trafalgar law#trafalgar d water law#eustass kid#massacre soldier killer#franky x reader#franky x you#cyborg franky x reader#cyborg franky x you#nico robin x reader#nico robin x you#robin x reader#robin x you#trafalgar d law x reader#trafalgar law x you#law x reader#law x you#eustass kid x reader#eustass kid x you#killer x reader#killer x you
730 notes
·
View notes
Text
⋆꙳✧༄ Breaking up with them
❖ Characters: various blue lock characters
❖ Reader: genderneutral
❖ Summary: Just small Drabbles based on songs about how you guys broke up and why
❖ WARNINGS: heartbreak, mentions of cheating at the first one
❖ A/n: don’t want to miss a post? Sign up for my Taglist in my Navi! | thank you @i-am-tiny-sun for helping me choose between songs!
It came out of nowhere, the both of you having a rather beautiful relationship, one that makes others jealous but the moment the words slipped past his lips your whole world crumbled. He cheated in a drunken haze at a party- a party you attended as well. He tried blaming it on the alcohol in his system and that it doesn't count because it didn't mean a single thing but to you it was clear, things would never be the same and you can't stay with him much longer after this. What if this wasn't a one time thing? It wasn't the first time he disappeared during those parties after all.
"We could blame it on our hands, they lifted the drink to our mouths so we drank it. Or we could blame it on our bodies - they say we like the way we feel when we get touched”
➸ Ryusei Shido, Oliver Aiku, Akira Endoji, Ryosuke Kira
Every time he came over, he never stayed the night and he made it clear from the very beginning that there won't be any feelings involved. Of course you agreed but somewhere after all the times you fell asleep in his arms you realized that this meant something to you, even though it shouldn't. His kisses linger on your skin but the warmth his body provided, doesn't linger much longer than the night lasts and is gone by the time the rays of sunshine flood your room. So one day without another word you blocked him and never opened the door, even when he showed up and begged to talk to you, his heart broken over not being with you anymore.
“Said I wouldn’t care if you walked away but every time you're there, I'm begging you to stay. Only love can hurt like this, your kisses burn into my skin”
➸ Rin Itoshi, Michael Kaiser, Shoei Barou, Gin Gagamaru, Okuhito Iemon, Aryu Jyubei
Things were always so right but yet so wrong. The lack of time, the lack of touches, the lack of your partner being committed to the relationship. You knew you two belong together since it was always you against the world but the world slowly started to defeat the two of you. Days turned into weeks and none of you had the power to change anything, helplessly watching from the sidelines as your relationship slipped away like sand through your hands - slowly but inevitable. He might be your perfect match but it's just not the time for the both of you to be happy with each other so you decided to break things off… maybe in the future things will work better for you.
“When you said your last goodbye, I died a little bit inside. But if you loved me, why’d you leave me?”
➸ Sae Itoshi, Yoichi Isagi, Reo Mikage, Rensuke Kunigami, Noel Noa
The relationship was straight out of a fairytale, flowers every friday, a kiss on the forehead in the morning and at night, a shared bond without words - something people would call eternal love. He made you feel like you're the most important person to exist, like you two could tear down everything that comes into your way. The nights you two spent inside, giggling about your future, thinking about how you'll name the kids and pets, designing your own little house - everything forgotten in the split of a second when he told you it's never been real to him, he just needed someone to warm his bed and you were perfect, too naive to see through all of his sweet talking.
“I don't want to waste away another cell on a memory when you're just another meaningless lover. Forget the nights we spent laughing ‘til the morning on your bedroom floor”
➸ Jingo Raichi, Jinpachi Ego, Alexis Ness, Wataru Kuon
Things were never perfect, but what relationship is perfect? Truth is that you both loved each other unconditionally, yes. You loved. It's the past. Date nights started becoming less and so did the mutual interest to spend time together, be it inside or going out together. It was as if you two just coexisted within each others spaces, the “good night, I love you” turned into “good night, love ya” and finally into “good night” and that's when it hit the both of you - there was a time where you loved each other but that time is long gone. The only right thing to do now is to let each other free, allowing the other to find love elsewhere and it was okay. You still valued what you once had.
“Let's just forget the things said and the autumn night when we realized we were falling out of love. So let's just pretend everything and anything between you and me was never meant to be”
➸ Gurimu Igarashi, Seishiro Nagi, Meguru Bachira, Hyoma Chigiri, Ikki Niko, Tsurugi Zantetsu
Network: @tokyometronetwork
#blue lock x reader#bluelock x reader#blue lock angst#shidou x reader#shidou angst#kaiser x reader#oliver aiku x reader#nagi x reader#rin itoshi x reader#bachira x reader#sae itoshi x reader#chigiri x reader#barou x reader#aryu x reader#isagi x reader#reo mikage x reader#kunigami x reader#ego x reader#gagamaru x reader#ness x reader
805 notes
·
View notes
Text
Taking Pause for Reflection- Part 1: Respectable Promiscuity and Only Friends
Well we are three marvelous episodes into Only Friends, and are already seeing the ways in which the narrative is making preparations to sow chaos in every single character’s life. By this point we have seen numerous examples of Boston fucking with Mew’s relationship, watched Top hook up with Boston, took note of Ray’s reliance on alcohol, his drinking and driving, and how he abandons his games with Sand the second he can play hero for Mew, and we’ve already unlocked Nick’s #hotgirlespionage era. In short, we are getting complex, messy, shitty, realistic, and three dimensional queer people on our screens.
As we all continue on our Only Friends journey, I think it is vitally important to look at the research that has been done on the subject of representations of queer people, and understand recurring themes in engagement with queer communities that I have personally seen being repeated in the reactions some people are having to the queer characters in Only Friends.
Disclaimer: I am a Westerner, writing this from a Western gay lens, with Western sources, and primarily targeting the Western BL audience with this essay. That said, I would love to hear other people’s, non Westerners especially, thoughts on the themes I will be discussing here.
Anyway…
On the Subject of the Acceptable Queer and Respectable Promiscuity
To make sure anyone who reads this is on the same page, I just want to define the term respectable promiscuity
Respectable: Decent or correct in behavior or character (Miriam-Webster)
Promiscuity: having or involving multiple sex partners: not restricted to one or few sex partners (Miriam-Webster)
Respectable Promiscuity as defined by Jody Ahlm, “captures the negotiations individuals engage in as they enact stigmatized sexual practices, manage sexual reputations, and give meaning to their sexual practices within a specific sociopolitical context.” (2017)
Or in my understanding, how people cope with and justify the sex they have that society may see as morally wrong. Because so much of our world has been captured by this idea that sex, especially non-monogamous sex, sex outside of wedlock, or queer sex is inherently wrong or sinful, it is far more likely that queer people will be accepted by society if they are at the very least perceived to be engaging in respectable sex (aka monogamous, moderated, and more vanilla sexual practices).
…According to this [sexual value system], sex that is ‘good’,’normal’, and ‘natural’ should ideally be heterosexual, marital, monogamous, reproductive, and non-commercial. It should be coupled, relational, within the same generation, and occur at home. It should not involve pornography, fetish objects, sex toys of any sort, or roles other than male and female. Any sex that violates these rules is ‘bad’, ‘abnormal’, or ‘unnatural’. Bad sex may be homosexual, unmarried, promiscuous, non-procreative, or commercial. It may be masturbatory or take place at orgies, may be casual, may cross generational lines, and may take place in ‘public’, or at least in the bushes or the baths. It may involve the use of pornography, fetish objects, sex toys, or unusual roles. (Rubin, 1984)
Late last week I posted a whole essay on cruising culture in the queer community, and the possibility that Boston is a physical manifestation of historical queer cultural practices (a theme that I see continuing in Ep 3 simply with the kind of car that he drives). As part of that I talked about how the combination of the AIDS epidemic and the creation of mobile apps like Grindr have greatly contributed to the reduction in cruising culture, something similar can be said of the creation of respectable promiscuity: “The stigma of promiscuity in gay male culture has roots in the respectability politics of internal responses to AIDS, as well as homophobic responses from outside the community, and continues to haunt discourses of gay male sexuality.” (Ahlm, 2017)
I think a lot about media and media influence on personal beliefs and perceptions, after all media is political. There is a reason that when I think about and talk about media, I am in some capacity thinking about who the audience is and who a film was made for. How many queer films were truly made for queer people? I mean, seriously, think about how many movies and television shows over the past few decades that either were about or included queer people ended in tragedy. Those films aren’t meant for us, they are meant to show heterosexual people the struggles of being queer. We are meant to be shown suffering so that heterosexual people may, hopefully, learn to have some sympathy for queer people. Brokeback Mountain, for example, wasn’t made for queer people, if it was the promotional material would not have straight-baited the audience, if it was we would not have had to watch Jack Twist get beaten to death for being a faggot.
Historical queer activism was fighting for far far more than just marriage equality, but over time marriage equality has become the most popularized and pervasive queer civil rights fight. Now the repeated theme we hear over and over again, a message that a lot of the BLs and QLs are pushing, is marriage equality. We see it in Not Me, Moonlight Chicken, Cutie Pie, The Wedding Planner, Love in the Air, GAP, etc. etc. as a result, if we see sex in a show, we see generally pure, and if not pure certainly monogamous sex in most BLs. While a production company like GMMTV may have some of their talent switch gay pairings (looking at you Mark Pakin, Fluke Pusit, and pre-Khao era First) once they find a pairing that is popular and profitable to them, they rarely split them up across their other shows but especially not within the same show. Truly, we have seen the main pairs mix and matching in shows how many times? Two? Three? Off the top of my head I can only think of…
Earth with Papang and Mix with First in Moonlight Chicken
*gestures vaguely at all of Only Friends*
All of this to say:
In the past two decades, marriage equality has been pushed to the front of LGBT organizing and with it the imperative of appearing ‘‘just like them(heterosexuals),’’ through sexual moderation, monogamy and the disavowal of deviant sexual subcultures. This assimilationist discourse is the foundation of homonormativity and the current politics of respectability in LGBT communities…‘‘Homonormativity’’ is a term Lisa Duggan (2003) uses to describe the assimilationist politics of the contemporary gay and lesbian movement that emphasizes individualism and sexual restraint. (Ahlm, 2017)
Which is a long-winded way of saying that in pushing for traditionally heterosexual practices, and general societal acceptance, representations of queer people have had to be pared down to seem less sexually liberated than our community may actually be (and just look at the way the aspects of queer culture like drag and like…just existing as a trans person are being increasingly associated with sex, sexual deviancy, and then warped in to pedophilia and sex crime narratives in order to turn society at large against us to make it easier to discriminate and eliminate us).
I am not sure how marriage equality was argued in other countries, but I do know that Obergefell v. Hodges, which granted marriage equality in the United States, was argued on the basis of privacy (and is also why people are fucking terrified at the reversal of Roe v. Wade, because that was also successfully won initially on the argument of privacy and was used as a precedent to win future cases like Obergefell). Which means that in arguing for gay marriage to be legally recognized, in order to get the rights that are afforded to us through marriage, we had to shift queer culture in to the spaces and definitions of privacy, rather than the public spaces that were foundational to historical queer culture.
As the Lawrence ruling and the LGBT movement’s focus on marriage equality suggest, mainstream acceptance of gays and lesbians has thus far hinged on the sanctity of domestic privacy and the legitimacy of monogamous relationships. The success of this political strategy has brought about a dramatic shift in public opinion and legal recognition for same-sex couples in the USA, culminating in the Obergefell v. Hodges (2015) Supreme Court decision that extended marriage rights to same-sex couples throughout the country. This acceptance, though, is conditioned on creating a public image of group maturation where being gay is no longer associated with a sexual culture of promiscuity, bathhouses, outdoor cruising areas, and porn theatres. Language of sexual autonomy or sexual freedom has been replaced with the conventional wisdom that ‘‘what you do in the privacy of your own home is your business.’’(Ahlm, 2017)
TL;DR: Homophobia and the AIDS epidemic contributed to a decrease in historical queer cultural practices of public and semi-public, non-monogamous sex practices and the push for rights like marriage equality further contributed to the queer community being pushed towards privacy about their sex lives, resulting in representation of queer culture shifting to the image of the monogamous, sexually moderated, non-kinky homosexual.
Homonormativity, like heteronormativity, privileges whiteness. Homonormativity produces a systemic policing of sexuality and gender, in part through a politics of representation that erases queers of color, poor and working-class queers, and gender non-conforming queers. Guided by an ‘‘ethics of sexual shame’’ (Warner, 2000) the contemporary LGBT movement distances itself from sexual deviants, and more generally from sex itself (Duggan, 2003; Robinson, 2005; Rubin, 1993). (Ahlm, 2017)
A huge part of what got me hooked on Asian BL was seeing representations of queer people that were not just white men with power. Getting to watch two people navigate the political nature of their queerness in conjunction with their socioeconomic status, seeing just the most casual inclusion of trans women (something that like never happens in Western media). Part of what got me so obsessed with KinnPorsche as my first Thai BL was the existence of Yok, who has 0% of a plot about being trans and 100% of a plot around being a surrogate mother to Porsche and just a generally massive party girl. A reason why I like shows like Bed Friend and The Warp Effect so much is because they actually include kink in their shows. (Even though Bed Friend only really does it once with the pet play in Ep. 6 still with monogamous sex, and Jojo can only get away with heavy kink focus in TWE through a heterosexual couple.)
Finding BL gave me ways to see a lot of different flavors of queers, different dynamics between queers, while still being made to cater primarily towards heterosexual audiences. How many queer romances exist in the West? Big Eden (my beloved), two Christmas movies and the butchered corpse of Red, White, and Royal Blue? [do not come for me here, I know there are more, I have a whole syllabus from @bengiyo that has more than that on it, my point is mostly looking at how popular and increasingly, rapidly abundant and easily accessible gay romance is in BLs compared to how popular abundant gay romance is the West]. I loved Gay OK Bangkok because it gave accurate and honest depictions of three-dimensional queer characters, not two-dimensional, spoon-fed perfect gay men. I loved The Eclipse because it gave me extremely morally gray, queer characters. I loved 3 Will Be Free for both the representations of polyamory, and also for the humanity that Jojo allowed Mae to have.
TL;DR Current LGBTQ+ political movements have started shifting away from highlighting sexual liberation as an aspect of queer culture, in order to make ourselves more palatable to the overarching heterosexual society. This bleeds through in to the kinds of media that exist, the types of queer people portrayed within that media, as well as how often gay sex is shown, the type of gay sex shown, and the number of gay sex partners depicted. (Read: generally infrequently, generally vanilla, generally one).
How Respectable Promiscuity Ties in to Only Friends
IT DOESN’T! Jojo, Ninew, Den, and the rest of the team are not interested in creating a story that takes audience perceptions of respectable promiscuity into consideration. All the boys are thirsty, all the boys are fucking, Boston is promiscuous as hell, Top is (potentially) a slut (or at least a former slut), Sand has been in multiple relationships and has had multiple one-night stand sexual partners (no repeats). Mew is maybe not as virginal as he has led us to believe. Every time any gay boy is standing next to another gay boy that they didn’t know like a week before, a third gay person is wiggling their eyebrows like “oh how do you two know each other?” (aka, you fucked?) See: Nick to Boston and Top, Sand to Boston and Nick, Yo to Ray and Sand, Mew to Ray and Sand.
Sex has been and will continue to be abundant in this show. Jojo himself said “[Sex] is coming every episode…I’m screaming for Prince but I love gay slut too. No matter slut or good person they should be equally represented”
There have been no allusions to the contrary. Jojo has presented this as a bacchanal from the beginning. The pilot trailer has multiple sex and/or make out sessions, indications of cheating, First with a goddamn bat, pills, screaming, and crying.
The actual promotional trailer had: multiple sex and/or make out sessions, indications of cheating, First raining destruction down upon some glassware, pills, screaming, and crying.
The interviews with the cast members about why we should watch Only Friends had Neo saying Boston was an asshole, and you should watch Only Friends because it’s hot. In those same interviews Force said he was looking forward to everyone hating him. The playlist that Jojo made ages ago for this show has so many songs about sex, drugs, being cheated on, and breaking up. Jojo tweeted months ago that he had a meeting with the GMMTV office and he had permission to do whatever he wanted. Jojo and co have never once pulled the wool over our eyes as for what to expect from the physical intimacy in this show. We have been promised a sex fest, and we are getting a sex fest. We have been promised some form of a cheating plot line, and we are getting some form of a cheating plot line. We have been promised substance use issues, and we are getting substance use issues.
Yet on tumblr I am seeing discomfort and as a result, alteration of character motivation and action, around behaviors these characters exhibit that result in sex.
...Western cultures generally consider sex to be a dangerous, destructive, negative force (Weeks, 1981, p. 22). Most Christian tradition, following Paul, holds that sex is inherently sinful. It may be redeemed if performed within marriage for procreative purposes and if the pleasurable aspects are not enjoyed too much. In turn, this idea rests on the assumption that genitalia are an intrinsically inferior part of the body, much lower and less holy than the mind, the ‘soul’, the ‘heart’...Such notions have by now acquired a life of their own and no longer depend solely on religion for their perseverance.
This culture always treats sex with suspicion. It construes and judges almost any sexual practice in terms of its worst possible expression. Sex is presumed guilty until proven innocent. Virtually all erotic behavior is considered bad unless a specific reason to exempt it has been established. The most acceptable excuses are marriage, reproduction, and love. Sometimes scientific curiosity, aesthetic experience, or a long-term intimate relationship may serve. (Rubin, 1984)
Boston is not a terrible person for cruising for sex, Boston is not a terrible person for being a slut, Boston is not a terrible person for not wanting to deepen his relationship with Nick beyond just having sex with him. What does make Boston kinda shitty is the fact that he manipulates people to get what he wants, strings Nick’s feelings along, and uses captured images and films of his friends and uses that to call their moral character into question.
Nick is not pure of heart and dumb of ass for enjoying sex with Boston or for wanting to define his relationship to Boston. Subjectively, his actions for acquiring sex with Boston the first time (aka adding his photo to Boston’s phone) is a gay wrong we support for the chaos, objectively that is a massive invasion of privacy the likes of which rival Boston holding on to photos and videos of Ray and Mew together for two years. Subjectively, it is a power play from Nick to have wiretapped Boston’s car to catch him hooking up with another person and I am excited for Boston to potentially see some consequences as a result of this. Objectively this is once again a massive invasion of privacy, and it is entirely possible there will be a lot of fallout as a result of the evidence Nick just acquired, despite the fact that objectively Top and Boston did nothing wrong.
Boston never committed to monogamy, and Top and Mew never officially defined their relationship as boyfriends (yes, I know Top calls Mew his boyfriend at the bar, but he is saying that to someone he wants to stop hitting on him) and we have seen no conversations around whether or not they are exclusive. Is it maybe kinda shitty that Top fucked Boston this far in to trying to become Mew’s boyfriend? Probably. But Top is not an inherently terrible person for having sex with Boston, nor is he an unwilling or inactive participant being pressured into having a second round with Boston (he even initiates the kiss).
On the opposite end, Mew is not perfect or immune from doing or causing harm in the past, present, or future just because he is withholding sex from Top. Mew isn’t dumb or naive, he doesn’t need protecting, he knows what game he might be in, and he is playing it to the best of his ability. Jojo and co are incredibly talented at writing complex characters, the fact that Mew is possibly a virgin, the fact that Mew is aware that sex for him means something deeper than sex might mean for Boston does not mean Mew should be placed on a pedestal of purity.
Much like I think Boston is a physical manifestation of older queer culture, I think Mew may be a physical manifestation of more current beliefs around queer people:
As a result of the sex conflicts of the last decade, some behavior near the border is inching across it. Unmarried couples living together, masturbation, and some forms of homosexuality are moving in the direction of respectability (see Figure 9.2). Most homosexuality is still on the bad side of the line. But if it is coupled and monogamous, then society is beginning to recognize that it includes the full range of human interaction. (Rubin, 1984)
Mew is absolutely playing games with Top, he has said that himself, about holding out long enough to see if Top genuinely cares about him rather than just wants a virgin to conquer. But he has also stated that he knows that if he has sex with Top that he will become obsessed. He wants to know Top, and care about Top as a person, and know that Top cares about him as a person before he will have sex. Everyone around Mew is obsessed with his sex life, desperate for him to lose his virginity, desperate for him to join them on the other side of the line. So many of the other queer characters are trying to publicize Mew’s gay sex life, (including Top who publicly asked him to be his boyfriend), while Mew desperately tries to maintain the depiction of purity that his friends think he is. Which is to say, where Boston is cruising for casual sex, and frequently engaging in public sex, Mew is maintaining respectability and looking for long-term and intimate private sex.
(Also a tangential thought, but I don’t remember Ray saying anything about Mew’s need to lose his virginity, I think that has really only been Boston, Cheum, Yo in part, and even Top have all had discussions around Mew’s virginity or need to have his first sexual encounter).
Conclusion
I want to end on this quote:
Most people find it difficult to grasp that whatever they like to do sexually will be thoroughly repulsive to someone else, and that whatever repels them sexually will be the most treasured delight of someone, somewhere. One need not like or perform a particular sex act in order to recognize that someone else will, and that this difference does not indicate a lack of good taste, mental health, or intelligence in either party. Most people mistake their sexual preferences for a universal system that will or should work for everyone. (Rubin, 1984)
I hope as we proceed through this story, and more characters fuck, get fucked, and fuck up that we are able to interact with the source material and connect with the characters as they are presented on screen, not with what we have shaped them to be in our heads. I hope we are able to separate from the mindset of respectable promiscuity, and refrain from placing false perceptions of purity or morality to characters who do or do not uphold heterosexual society’s understanding of what a good homosexual is supposed to be. Only Friends has never lied to us, the characters might have, the way their dynamics play out might subvert our expectations, but the subject matter, the level of heat, the commitment of gay wrongs is what this show was always going to be. I don’t know about y’all but I am here to sit back, watch my BL boys commit as many gay wrongs as possible within 12 episodes, and write overly academic pieces on sex, sexuality, and queerness in Only Friends for the bit.
Stay tuned for Part 2 where I discuss racism and the commodification of queer men of color.
Sources
Ahlm, Jody (2017) Respectable promiscuity: Digital cruising in an era of queer liberalism, Sexualities, DOI: 10.1177/1363460716665783
Chong-suk Han (2007) They Don't Want To Cruise Your Type: Gay
Men of Color and the Racial Politics of Exclusion, Social Identities, 13:1, 51-67, DOI:
10.1080/13504630601163379
Rubin, Gayle (1984) The Thinking Sex: Notes for a Radical Theory of the Politics of Sexuality- Chapter 9: The Sex Wars.
Acknowledgements
I would like to thank @bengiyo, @emotionallychargedtowel, @lurkingshan, @so-much-yet-to-learn, and @waitmyturtles for reading through this post, adding your thoughts, and helping with edits! Y'all are the best
#only friends#only friends the series#only friends meta#only friends analysis#ofts#ofts meta#jojo tichakorn#ninew pinya#forcebook#firstkhao#neomark#topmew#topboston#sandray#top x mew#top x boston#bostonnick#boston x nick#sand x ray#wka long post#only friends the series analysis#respectable promiscuity#thai bl#book kasidet#force jiratchapong#neo trai#first kanaphan#khaotung thanawat#mark pakin
364 notes
·
View notes
Text
Sex Education season 4 thoughts
The good
Aimee’s journey. As I’ve discussed online no end, I have complex PTSD. While I was never sexually assaulted like Aimee was, her avoidant trauma responses were very relatable to me. To see her taking the power back this season, especially when the burned the jeans she was assaulted in and did the photoshoot with them, made me feel a bit less alone as I try and heal. I cried my eyes out, so much so that I had to take a break from watching to collect myself!
“Even when I’m doing something I love… it feels like I’m still wearing them, like it never goes away”
Cal’s story as a non-binary person is very different to mine (and for the record, that doesn’t make either of us any less valid, because there is no singular way to be non-binary). Nonetheless, hearing someone I love as much as I do Gillian Anderson affirm our shared gender nonconformity meant the world. I’m sick of facing transphobia from society, but especially from people that I once considered idols. So knowing that Gillian embraced a role where her character supports trans youth healed something within me. It’s not the first time she’s showed up for our community though - she always makes a point to include non-binary people, for example in her Dear Gillian announcement video. I don’t mean to undermine the real hero of the story here: Dua Saleh, the actor who played Cal - it’s just that I had already formed such a deep connection with Gillian, so it hit me doubly hard from her.
The funeral scene. Just… the funeral scene. I really lost it when Mr Hendricks played With Or Without You on the piano and everyone else joined in.
Other people have spoken about this better, so I won’t get into it as much, but by god, the representation. One example that really struck me was the sex scene between Abbi and Roman at the end, where she said “I love being inside you”. It wasn’t a big deal, their transness was completely normalised.
This might be an unpopular opinion, but I loved the Motis ending! Maeve made the right choice going back to America, and long distance relationships are really hard when you have no plans to reunite, so I get why they called it off. Also, relationships at that age don’t usually last, as much as I hate to say it, and yet via Maeve’s letter, the show managed to honour that they can still shape one’s life and be really important.
The bad
If it wasn’t clear, I’m a Jean Milburn stan first and a human second. Unfortunately, I was disappointed in how they handled her storyline this season. Firstly, I’m tired of every single female character on television having an arc that culminates in motherhood. Not knowing who the father was felt like bad writing for Jean specifically, like very out of character, because she’s a sex therapist, so she’s all about safe sex and communication around those things. By no means am I suggesting that they should’ve kept Jakob as a character (if you don’t already know, his actor sexually assaulted hundreds of women which, by the way, was public knowledge before he was ever cast), but they could’ve come up with a better workaround. Maybe I’m biased because Jean is a comfort character of mine, but I wasn’t very pleased with the fact that they didn’t allow her to be happy for a single second this season either! That being said, I do think it’s important that we don’t gloss over the postpartum depression representation here, which could mean so much to so many. I wish they’d brought Maureen in to help Jean though, because their relationship was so special and yet we didn’t see them interact onscreen once this season.
I haven’t heard anyone else mention this, but I was disappointed with how they handled sapphic relationships this season. Not only were Ola and Lily erased entirely, but the writers fucked up the storyline for the only established sapphic couple remaining (Roz and Sofia Marchetti). Like, why was the Big Plot Twist™️ that there was, in fact, a man intimately involved with their family? Our lives don’t have to revolve around men, you know? The show didn’t explicitly acknowledge the fact that genetics to not make a family in my opinion either, because Roz and Sofia’s conversation with Jackson was just about how his biological father was missing out on raising him.
The… mixed? Idk!
I deserve to be sent to horny jail for this, but Jean breastfeeding initially drove me insane. I quickly changed my tune though, because breasts are not inherently sexual and breastfeeding shouldn’t be sexualised, so it makes me feel a bit icky to see people thirsting over that.
I’m not sure how I felt about the development of Adam and Michael’s relationship. On one hand, I thought it was beautiful to see them both grow and reconnect. On the other hand, I was slightly concerned that it was veering into “you have to forgive your abuser” territory. I don’t have parental trauma, so I don’t have the authority to comment, but I’d be interested to hear other people’s perspectives.
I really appreciate how they tried to explore toxic relationships with the introduction of Beau as Viv’s love interest. However, I don’t feel that it was given the weight it deserved, because there was so much else going on.
In summary
I’m not disappointed with how this season turned out overall. Although it definitely wasn’t perfect, I thoroughly enjoyed watching it, and it made me very happy. I do recommend checking trigger warnings before watching it though, because it is a lot darker than previous seasons.
I’d missed this show and these characters more than I’d realised, and I can’t believe I’ll never see them again. It was really hard to say goodbye!
#yes I binged all of season 4 in one day but I was too lazy to post about it until now. love that for me#miscellaneous thoughts:#gillian anderson is a phenomenal actor jsyk#this season is confirmation that ncuti is gonna be an amazing doctor#I may be becoming a hannah waddingham stan what of it#also this is personal so feel free to skip#but I’m so so proud of myself#because this season would have been too triggering for me to watch not long ago#but I’m ✨healing✨ now#sex ed season 4#sex ed s4#sex education season 4#sex education s4#sex ed spoilers#sex education spoilers#sex education netflix#sex ed netflix
169 notes
·
View notes
Text
Terrance Chapman
Submission for @wrixie's Cherry! 🍒
The Basics:
-> Human; He/Him
-> Straight
-> Born, raised, and currently living in Brindleton Bay
-> Adult (irl probably like 31 y.o.)
-> Single father!
Details below the cut! ↓
Terrance's traits are: Childish, Generous, Dance Machine, Family Oriented, and Ambitious.
-> His current aspiration is: Friend of the World
-> Education: Computer Science degree from Foxbury Institute
-> Career: Level 8 Tech Guru (Start Up Entrepreneur branch, Independent Consultant).
-> Other details: Terrance is the life of the party and the kind of person to make a friend anywhere he goes. He's a pretty great cook, a tech whiz, and quite the charmer! He admittedly can be childish at times, but he always jokes that he's "making up for lost time." Despite having a challenging childhood, he has been an extremely compassionate and involved single father* to his 10 year old daughter Shereé! But between his demanding job and being the primary caregiver to a very loved and spoiled 10 year old, he's had little opportunity to fill the relationship void in his life. He's not getting any younger though, and he feels like he needs to take the time to find love, especially because he wants to expand his family in the future!
-> Random Rapid-Fire Likes: Helping Shereé run her lines/songs/dances for her upcoming performances. The retro/70s aesthetic (the social justice movements, celebrities, music, fashion, decor, and so on). Pops of color in an outfit. Social media. Chips and ceviche or coconut shrimp (can't pick a favorite food between the two). Reading the newspaper and doing the crossword like a little old man (He does his NYT "Wordle" every morning, too). Trying out new recipes (the more complex, the better). Rock climbing. Dressing up. Naps!!
-> Random Rapid-Fire Dislikes: Any kind of "excessive" noise (fireworks, music with a lot of "banging," noisy people, etc.) Getting stuck in traffic. Mayonnaise and most soups for some reason?? The fact that he snores (RIP to whoever shares a room with him... he's tried everything to stop it). Getting paired with someone who doesn't know what they're doing in a multiplayer game mode. People who don't brush their teeth. Toe socks. Snakes!!! (He would say: "Something that can eat you is not a damn pet!")
*Note: Just wanted to add that he has absolutely no issues with his ex, they just didn't work out as a couple. His ex sees Shereé every other weekend, but Shereé has always lived with Terrance full time.
Lastly: here is his confident, talented, adorable daughter with high expectations, a love for gossip, and a big heart...Shereé!
She's lowkey a mini-Terrance with enhanced performance capabilities lol. She wants "to be a superstar" when she grows up and she lovessss dogs (just like Cherry!!!).
Private DL if chosen!
#cherrysbc#cherishing cherry#ts4 bachelorette challenge#sim submission#wrixie#simblr#ts4#the sims 4#oc: terrance#oc: shereé#sims 4
97 notes
·
View notes
Text
I've alluded to tri. having some very troubled production behind the scenes, and among everything that apparently went on back there, there seem to have been at least two major bottlenecks: 1) the fact that the director (who, based on his own statements about deliberately not consulting source material, most likely didn't even watch Adventure to begin with) kept asking everyone to make things more "mature" without being clear on what that actually meant, and 2) the fact they ran out of budget and had to rewrite the entire plot halfway into it. Even the most brilliant of creators probably wouldn't be able to work at their best under such conditions.
But conversely, this also means that there were some excellent people involved in production whose efforts probably haven't been as appreciated as they should be! So I want to take a moment to spotlight some people I want to give props to:
Ayana Yuniko and Nakanishi Yasuhiro: These two scriptwriters were childhood Digimon fans who were thrilled to be on the project, and their enthusiasm clearly shows in every interview they were in. Ayana even made keen observations like noticing that the Adventure kids aren't as super-tight as people tend to make them out to be (something I've pointed out myself, and something that generally only tends to crop up among fans who have studied the series closely), and Nakanishi stated that she would slip him detailed notes about the characters and their relationships.
Both of them stated they were trying to portray the Adventure characters in a character-accurate way but kept getting their scripts rejected for not being "mature" enough, leaving them unsure about what they were supposed to do. Their roles on the series were also limited; Ayana was on parts 1, 2, and 4 while Nakanishi was on part 4 only, and they were sharing the scriptwriter role with multiple others (even within a single movie). But if I were asked to pick who on the staff list I would want to see come back for another Digimon work, it would absolutely be these two.
Kakikara Yuuko: The one in charge of overall writing for the series. tri. had a total of five scriptwriters and could have up to four(!) on a given movie, so because of that, her statements on the series and its story direction have been a bit difficult to tell whether it was her idea personally or whether she was delivering the writing room's discussion result. But one of her final statements on the series basically amounted to "I'm grateful if you even came to watch it to the end at all," and she was quite humble about saying she felt things could have been done differently; considering it sounds like she had a hard time keeping everyone and everything in order, I can only imagine she went through a lot trying to make sure everything ended safely. Incidentally, her writing portfolio is also quite respectable (and even includes kids' shows).
Suzuki Takaaki: The person with the job of "setting researcher", i.e. the one with the job of looking into the lore. Sadly, it seems like most of his ideas didn't make it into the final series (possibly because of the budget loss-induced rewrite), but his one solo interview indicates that he put quite a bit of conscientious thought into how Digital World lore works, including the idea of an EMP weapon that would affect Digimon easily but not humans (an idea that doesn't pop up among fans as often as you'd think, and took up until last year to make it into actual Adventure material via Takeru's 02TB in-universe fanfic).
Sakabe Gou: The person in charge of the series BGM. We haven't heard a lot from him, but the little we have indicates that although he also had difficulty understanding what the director was asking for when he wanted "mature" music of some kind, he himself put some very thorough thought put into the composition. In particular, he went into detail regarding the music used at the beginning of part 4, which seems to be a fan-favorite track from what I've seen (it's also my favorite too!). Sakabe also has an extensive and respectable portfolio outside Digimon; in particular, he's very highly regarded in Kamen Rider circles, so if you have a friend who's a fan, it might be a good idea to ask them about it!
70 notes
·
View notes
Text
playboyy: no fags, no femmes
okay, so. playboyy meta. thanks to @lugarn, @chaos0pikachu, and @cryptidafter for talking all this out with me <3
i originally started this post with "not to be that guy," but honestly, i do want to be that guy. because so much of the critique and analysis of playboyy i'm seeing is a) grounded in a lack of knowledge about queer history and aesthetics and b) veers unintentionally but wildly into unexamined homophobia.
so, given i'm going to reference susan sontag's notes on camp several times, i've decided i might as well go full queer studies major about it and copy the list style she uses. (i would highly recommend reading notes on camp. it is academic and somewhat dense, but it's a tame 13 pages)
1. so many people are confidently asserting that playboyy is not camp, regardless of what the creatives behind the show think. to which i have to ask: how are you defining camp? what things are campy to y'all?
2. the personal definition of camp that i arrived at after writing a bunch of papers about it is two-fold: camp is exaggeration, treating things that are serious casually and treating things that are casual seriously. camp is about an aesthetic of inhabiting a role, where something is a little bit off or being something that it's not meant to be.
and to be clear, this is a wildly incomplete and simplified definition, because one of the points of camp is that it's a vibe, not something concrete. It’s also something that shifts over time the relationship between queerness and society changes.
2a. camp often intersects and overlaps with surrealism, like in rocky horror picture show. very often media that is campy exits the mundane world and enters a heightened world of exaggeration and stylization.
3. so, is playboyy campy? i sure as hell think it is. i think lugarn and chaos0pikachu both made really good points about the campiness of playboyy and it being specifically sexwork camp. (both replies are at that link.)
4. a brief list of things that specifically resonated as campy to me: first throwing american dollars in the pool for soong to catch, zouey's fantasy of feeling up teena in art class, every single element of nant's room (especially the projected images), captain's sports plot that involved zero doing the sport and 100% fucking and fantasy, the softly romantic framing of nuth and phob's sex scenes, jump's pleather tank top & coverall combination, prom wearing assless chaps to a rooftop party at 2:30 in the afternoon, the entire concept of investigating a disappearance via a themed party... i could go on and on, but i said this was brief.
5. i think the actual problem a lot of people have with playboyy is that it doesn't care about straight people.
6. what i mean by that is that playboyy is not a universal story. you could not plug different characters with different sexualities into the plot and preserve the essence of the story. the gayness of the characters is integral to the plot. the sex work is integral to the plot. this is not a world where homophobia doesn't exist and being gay is just like being straight.
7. additionally, these characters are all performing gender in a specifically queer way. they are femmes and fags, they are obvious, they are clockable, they're visible. when nice gays talk about the people who are giving gays a bad reputation and making it harder for everyone (to assimilate into heteropatriarchy) they're talking about playboyy gays.
8. comparing playboyy to only friends is low hanging fruit at this point, but i would argue that the reason boston stood out in that cast and was so viciously punished by the ending is because he was a fag stuck in a nice gays narrative.
9. and this is where the fandom homophobia comes in. so, so many people describe these characters and chaotic and messy, watchable as incoherent and vaguely amusing from a distance, but without real substance. the resulting narrative is often that no one could take their characters or their stories seriously or resonate with them.
10. again, why? why was ray and sand's high and low, blow up fights, calling each other whores relatable but soong and first's miscommunications about what they mean to each other unbelievable chaos? why is white taking black's place an acceptable plot point, but nont pretending to be nant is absurd?
11. most bls do not deal with flamboyance except in limited capacities by comedic side characters. flamboyance is a baseline trait for most of the playboyy characters. so if they feel too much, too loud, too out there, consider asking yourself why they do.
12. to a large extent, i think a lot of the criticism of playboyy is rooted in a bad faith refusal to engage with the show beyond a surface level pearl clutching about the sexual content. the unspoken belief here being that sex scenes are inherently vulgar distractions. they can't be integral to characters or their relationships. they can't be vital pieces of a narrative.
to which i say, there are nine thousand other BLs out there where the kissing is chaste and sex scenes are ~tastefully abstracted shots of shoulder blades and hands. watch those instead.
13. if you decide you want to watch it anyway, take a couple minutes to examine what parts of the show make you uncomfortable and why. and to be clear, i think there’s a lot of value in watching things that make you uncomfortable; media is often one of the best ways to dip into interrogating your emotional responses from a safe distance.
but don’t use discomfort to dismiss the possibility that there’s meaningful artistic and stylistic choices made to serve a meaningful narrative. take a second to sit with your reactions and ask yourself where it’s coming from.
#playboyy#playboyy meta#i want you all to know i hunted through three emails to find the rhetoric of camp essay i wrote in college for this
85 notes
·
View notes
Note
Dialogue 15 and trope 19 with Kylian 💞 Your writing is so good!
thank u sm !! enjoy lovely <333
- "Can we start over, just you and me?"
- Second Chance
word count - 600+
watch it - kinda toxic relationship but its okay kinda happy ending hehe
In some parallel universe there's a version of you and kylian that haven't broken up and you're still in his home cozy in his expensive comforters without a care in the world as he pressed kisses to your cheeks.
This is not your universe and the reality that you live is instead that you haven seen him in weeks and the last you did you stormed off screaming at dinner. Hey can you really blame yourself?
Kylian has dragged you on a wild ride filled with so much drama you could actually kneel over and die just from thinking about it.
And if you ask him, he'd say you were never together. The nerve.
You hope he breaks a knee or something. That would shut him up. You think hes single handedly the most egotistical person you have ever had the misery of meeting.
To him, he was untouchable. On and off the pitch. He was-is- Kylian Mbappe, what does anyone have to say to his face but praise? Nothing.
Funny thing is you never meant to get involved this much. At the wrong moment at the wrong time. And boom you collided. Literally. At a friend's birthday dinner you got up to fix your dress, and here comes Mr hot shot not looking where he was going and slammed right into you. Sending you right into the table ribs first. That bruise was sore for ages.
And the rest is history. A very miserable depressing history that leaves you with a pile of keepsakes under your bed. You have yet to find the heart to throw them out.
And through all this you still let him come obver after practice to ‘talk.’ what the hell is there to talk about? The rumors that made you leave? The amount of times he never outright said you were together? God.
He shows up soon enough. In all black and with flowers and a bag. You toss them into your kitchen table and guide him to your couch.
“What is this about Kylian?” you sigh.
He wrings his hands together, unable to look you in the eye.
"Can we start over, just you and me?" soft. Gentle.
“Kylain.” you warn.
“I'm serious. I let talk and rumors get the best of me. I failed you in the process.”
“We start over and we what, do the same thing over and watch how you embarrass me?” you lash out.
He winces,”no. I want you back and I want to treat you properly. I'm sorry for all I put you through. That's on me and always will be. But I can't just let you leave. I need you.”
"Fine," you relent, your tone laced with reluctance. "Let's start over. But this time, Kylian, we do it on my terms. No more games, no more lies. Just honesty, trust, and a genuine effort to make things work."
Kylian's expression softens, he's relieved. "I promise, this time will be different. I'll do whatever it takes to earn back your trust and make things right."
You nod, though the doubts still linger in the back of your mind. "We'll see," you murmur, unwilling to fully let your guard down just yet. You know him well enough to know not to jump for joy. He needs to prove all this talk to you first.
As Kylian reaches out to take your hand, you can't help but wonder if you're making a mistake, if you're setting yourself up for heartbreak once again. But amidst the uncertainty, there's a glimmer of hope—a belief that maybe, just maybe, this time will be different.
Together, you take a tentative step forward, ready to give love another chance, praying that this time, it won't end in disappointment. Praying that you won't have to tear down every little thing that reminds you of him. That maybe Kylian has space for you in his life rather than just haphazard room he's made on a whim from shoving things aside till they swallow you whole.
Only time will tell.
#kylian mbappe one shot#kylian mbappe x reader#kylian mbappe imagines#kylian mbappe fanfic#kylian mbappe imagine#kylian mbappe fluff#mbappe imagine#mbappe fanfic#mbappe x reader#kylian mbappe x you#mbappe x you#mbappe x y/n#kylian x reader#kylian imagines#kylian x you#kylian fanfic#kylian fluff#kb7 blurbs#kb7#bahr footy#bahr 300 event
44 notes
·
View notes
Text
Lookism, South Korea — 갱단의 삶. » "The Gangster Life"
J-High School, Central Seoul. In South Korea, offer more than your soul.
Main Masterlist ; The Macrocosm
Warnings: Heavy Spoilers, Violence, NSFW.
*Most of these are going to be short, either one-shots or very few chapters because I still prioritize Marry Me First above all else but I'd like to work on other things every other time too. :-)
௹ Jake Kim (No. 1 Boss of Big Deal from Gangseo)
10 Things I Hate About You (1999): "On the very first day in Jerry Kwon's new school, he instantly falls for Ryang Sang-min, the girl of his dreams. The issue is that Sang-min is forbidden to date until her ill-tempered, completely un-dateable older sister (You) goes and dates someone too. In an attempt to solve his problem, Jerry singles out the only guy who might potentially be a match for Ryang (Name): His Senior and the person he can always rely on, Jake Kim."
*Set in a school environment & an alternate universe where Jake now attends J-High School, this includes the rest of the crew heads & Big Deal. There are no four major crews and no significant gang activity, but Jake is still renowned as Gapryong Kim's son. Sinu Han is also present.
௹ Johan Seong (God Dog of North River Gangbuk)
He's Just Not That Into You (2009): "The lives of these South Koreans overlap as they navigate the complexities and pitfalls of modern relationships as both friends and lovers." — You are tangled in a midst of blind dates and relationships only to be given the best advice you have ever received by a certain man who saw you in your woe after being dumped.
*Set in an alternate universe where the original cast lead relatively normal lives away from the gang life. Johan is sort of a playboy here! His mom is not sick, and his dad is not a deadbeat who is "in America", he's now still friends with Zack Lee and Mira Kim.
௹ Samuel Seo (Workers, 3rd & 4th Affiliate President | Former Big Deal)
W — Two Worlds Apart: In real life, Samuel Seo was just a drawing. You were one of the main artists in the team creating the webtoon alongside Taejun Pak, but after being pulled into the world of Lookism, you get entangled in the gang activity according to the plot... Which means you know exactly what will happen. Which also means... You are the most valuable person that Samuel can get a hold of. Or anyone, for that fact. But no one else has to know that but him.
௹ Kim Joon Goo (Goo Kim)
Bad and Crazy: The duo since the beginning was given a new team member to look after them after a certain circumstance. Two bads, and one crazy... Crazy because you think you could actually hold them both down.
௹ Park Jong Gun / Yamazaki Yuzuru (Gun Park)
Bad and Crazy: The duo since the beginning was given a new team member to look after them after a certain circumstance. Two bads, and one crazy... Crazy because you think you could actually hold them both down.
௹ Kuroda Ryuhei (Workers, 2nd Affiliate Director - Circus | Nomen)
She's Dating the Kagiroi!: In a desperate and stupid attempt to make Mitsuki Soma jealous as well as like him back, Ryuhei forces you to help him after you unknowingly messed up his "ultimate chance" with Mitsuki.
௹ Jace Park (No. 2 of Burn Knuckles, Central Seoul)
Can't Help Falling in Love: You are about to tie the knot with your handsome boyfriend, Choi Jong-in, as set by both your powerful families, but apparently, you're already married to... A complete stranger!?
௹ Euntae Lee (Vasco - Hero of Burn Knuckles, Central Seoul)
Way of the Househusband: It has been years since Euntae Lee, previously known as Hero Man: Vasco in his prime years, was involved in any gang activity. But his fame as the No. 1 of Burn Knuckles... or Leader of the Homeless... or Brekdak's Successor is not so easy to shake off after all...
௹ Eli Jang (Big Daddy - Hostel of Gangdong)
How I Eli Met Your Mother (2014): After Yenna's mom has passed, Eli has put all brakes on his love life. But this is the story of how Eli Jang fell in love again, finding his own "Big Mommy" — Something Warren Chae and Sally Park calls you for fun.
௹ DG / Dagyum Kang (James Lee)
W — Two Worlds Apart (DG Edition): In real life, DG a.k.a. James Lee in the past was just a drawing. You were one of the main artists in the team creating the webtoon alongside Taejun Pak, but after being pulled into the world of Lookism, you get entangled in the gang activity according to the plot... Which means you know exactly what will happen. The catch? Well, let's just say DG already met you way before he changed identities. And he's been looking for you ever since you've disappeared that day; to him, years. To you? A couple of days.
*This is set in a universe where instead of meeting Samuel Seo first, you meet DG instead. [Requested 📌]
Original Art Gallery: What you are visualized as + Scenes from the series with multiple characters (mostly from the characters listed above) !
10 Things I Hate About Jake Kim - Jake's outfits!
#jake kim#lookism#jake kim x reader#DG x reader#James Lee x Reader#Daniel Park#Daniel Park x Reader#Jerry Kwon#Big Deal#Big deal x reader#Euntae Lee x reader#Euntae Lee#Zack Lee#Zack Lee x Reader#Jace Park#Johan Seong#Johan Seong x Reader#Jace Park x reader#Samuel Seo#Samuel Seo x Reader#Jay Hong#Jay Hong x Reader#God Dog#Workers#Eli Jang x Reader#Warren Chae#Vin Jin#Logan Lee#kim joongoo#Goo x reader
552 notes
·
View notes
Text
*deep breath* FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
Alright, I'm gonna make my case for the Bad Buddy Rooftop Kiss. This is probably gonna be the most personal I've ever been on this hellsite.
Let's get this out of the way. I loved Kinnporsche. I honestly did (even though it might not look like it since this is the second time I'm passionately campaigning against the show). I loved it so much that I made my very busy best friend, @tonysteve25 who is planning their wedding, make up the time to talk to me so I can rant for two hours about the show (no need to judge me, I know y'all are equally crazy)
I'm gonna strip the plot to the basics and then build my argument, so if I end up reiterating a lot of themes that are already discussed, apologies in advance
Bad Buddy is, at its core, a Romeo and Juliet retelling. Set in a fairly conservative Asian country, and produced by a media industry whose brand of storytelling often involves an AU-esque setting where homophobia does not exist. We are shown time and again that Pat and Pran's friends and family do not have a problem with them being in a same-sex relationship.
So the conflict comes from the history their families have with each other. As a South Asian cinephile, I've watched this trope play out so many times with heterosexual couples that I'm sure it has unwittingly become a part of my brain chemistry. Oftentimes, the reasons why the families are feuding are so over the top that every shred of relatability gets thrown out the window.
In Bad Buddy's case, the reason is kept simple, albeit childish in the beginning. A business rivalry between the two families, and as a result, the boys are also pitted against each other. This simplicity gives way to a lot of levity in the beginning, but as the story progresses, the real strength of this narrative starts seeping through. This show is relatable. Almost too relatable.
The constant pressure to outperform the other in every way, be it academics, sports, or romance; the expectation on Pat to follow his dad's footsteps and match his achievements, even in a dumb singing competition; the guilt that permeates every moment of joy they feel in their relationship, because they are always aware that they are actively disappointing their parents; the quiet, painful realization in the later episodes that they will never be accepted into each other's families, no matter how hard they try; the revelation that the root of the conflict came from a scholarship stolen from a woman, to satisfy the expectations of a patriarch.
Every statement above is the reality of so many Asians living their lives right now. I personally know couples who have been cut off from their families for over 20 years because they don't approve of their love/marriage. I have peers who blindly follow the career path charted for them by their parents because it is easier than resisting and doing something they actually like. A lot of us are left feeling unmoored and struggling to define our self worth in the real world, after we leave academia, because that is all we are ever taught: your grades indicate how worthy you are.
Now, I know not a single word above argues why the kiss is the best, but I'm getting there. Stay with me now. Many people more talented than me have argued the specifics of the kiss, the reasons why it grabbed us by our throats the first time we saw it, and why we are still on that rooftop with them. The reasons submitted in the poll describe it so eloquently, beat by beat (edit: I found out that it was witten by @tiistirtipii, here). @respectthepetty begs us not to disappoint Pat again here, @lurkingshan dives deep into the character analysis and why the kiss is the perfect culmination of narration, pacing, and the characters' journey here, @waitmyturtles explores the importance of foreplay, the 'how did we get here' before the kiss, here.
What I want to draw attention to are two things. One: how this kiss was executed in such a way that all of their deeper struggles are woven into the microexpressions, so when you rewatch the show, all of the added context makes it so much more heartbreaking.
Let's be clear here, Pat and Pran did not get a happily ever after. They did not break all of the chains that were weighing them down. Pat went on to follow his father into the business (who also followed his father into it). They have to keep their relationship a secret, with no end in sight. Even in the end, the audience is shown only a hidden, reluctant acceptance from the parents, not an open love.
Pat and Pran's relationship will always be bittersweet. And the kiss shows it. The fact that the kiss was the very last shot to be filmed is no coincidence. The actors know how it ends, they have already performed it. They also know that the characters in this moment know it too. They have lived all their lives playing their families' games, they know that if they take this leap of faith, then they are willingly giving up so many little moments in life, even something so mundane as entering each other's house through the front door. And we can see it, see all of it clearly in Pran's face. Pran, who plans every detail of his life. Pran, who is also in love with his rival for who knows how long. And then we see it in Pat's face too, if only after a moment, because that's the way he is. Pat, who has looked at Pran all his life as a rival, a bandmate, a secret friend. Pat, who is the only one who can completely understand Pran, his anger and grief and devastation, because they only have each other in this wretched game. We see his face fall, and we see confusion cloud his happiness.
This kiss is the perfect summation of their relationship, shown at the very beginning of it. They can have desire, but be riddled with guilt. They can have happiness, but only in secrecy.
Two: how this kiss did more for Asian queer representation than we can ever comprehend.
I was not present in the Tumblr trenches with y'all when the show originally aired, but I've read many, many posts about how it broke the internet. Western media often fucks up queer characters because they don't write fully fleshed out characters who happen to also be queer. They place enormous emphasis on the character's queerness, and end up writing a stereotypical cardboard cutout in the shape of a queer person. Complex queer representation is hard to come by, add Asian into the mix and the pool gets laughably small.
In the episodes leading up to the kiss, we see the characters get fleshed out, their struggles explored, but they are also deeply rooted in the middle class Asianness of it all. I know it is ironic to say that other shows from Thailand are less Asian than this one, but the struggles of a queer mafia boss/rich businessman/heir to the corporate throne protagonists can sometimes be a tad out of touch for the general populace, and we can only feel so much nostalgia for our school days before we are tired of the saccharine sugar high.
When I saw this kiss for the first time, my eyes teared up, not because these gay characters are having a hard time, but because I could feel their pain, irrespective of my sexuality. I knew deep in my bones how a kiss can simultaneously feel like freedom and a lifelong trap. And I'm sure so many others felt it too. The kiss went viral because it was a perfect representation of so many struggles of Asians and the diaspora (and beyond), and it happened to be queer.
I don't know how the results will tally up when the clock runs out, but I hope we can chalk up a honest-to-goodness happy ending for them, if only in a silly Tumblr poll.
cc @bl-bracket, here ya go, a very long and rambling campaign propaganda
#bad buddy#bad buddy series#bad buddy the series#patpran#ohmnanon#ohm pawat#nanon korapat#aof noppharnach#bl bracket#bl bracket for best kiss
174 notes
·
View notes
Text
| new beginnings | (dokyeom)
your hands are sweating and your heart is racing, although you've never been nervous in quite this way before. you're face to face with one of the prettiest men you've ever seen, and against all odds he is yours. the latter part has not grown on you yet, and you're still jittery around him as you try to navigate the new relationship. you met dokyeom almost a year ago through the friend of a friend. typical. you didn't think too much of the encounter at first, although you did think he was the total package. you thought for sure he would have already had a girlfriend. it wasn't until a couple weeks later you found out he was single. you only saw each other here and there at social gatherings, and you talked when you found the chance. usually this involved your friend shoving you towards him against your will because you were so nervous. you still have to remember to thank her for that, because you've been dating for a couple months now.
it's all still new, and you've never been in a relationship as serious as this before. you were beyond ready, but you didn't know that relationships like this actually existed. he has been nothing short of perfect, buying you flowers and making you dinner after long days at work. he's your own romance novel boyfriend. in general you are a shy person, and everyone who knows you would say the same. you've only had one relationship before this, and it didn't last very long and was nothing in comparison to what you have now. it was toxic to its core, and you're grateful for this new beginning.
dokyeom makes you feel safe; protected. but you're still shy, and the nerves double every time he's around. he thinks its sweet, and only showers you in compliments when you get like this. he's been way too kind, and taking things as slow as you need. everything's basically brand new to you, and you're glad its all with him.
you turn your gaze towards him as he squeezes your hand, catching you in your daydreaming state. you're met with his dokey smile that you've grown to love more than anything in the world.
"what are you thinking about, baby?" he asks, knowing you too well. in fact, you think he knows you better than anyone ever has. already.
and god, still every time he calls you baby a whole chorus of butterflies soar in your stomach. no ones ever called you that before. he loves how much you love it.
"you" you smile sheepishly, answering honestly. you learned right off the bat that theres no need for keeping secrets around him. he always makes you feel comfortable.
"yeah?" he asks, smirking as he squeezes your hand again.
you nod shyly in response, earning a,
"you're too cute" from him.
you two continue walking down the block, looking for your destination. you're meeting up with a small group of a friends to celebrate a birthday. of course, you both share friends, so this part has always been easy. the destination is a cute place where you get to pick out a pottery item and paint it however you'd like. you've never been but have always wanted to go, and you're super excited because you love to do artsy things like this. you finally find the location, and step foot inside as dokyeom holds the door open for you. you shiver as your body reacts to the sudden change from the cold outside air to the cozy heat. the space has been rented out just for you guys, making the atmosphere perfect for someone like you. a few of your friends are already there, greeting both of you as you walk in.
you take your coat off and place it on the back of a chair at their table.
"come pick out what you want to paint! it's taking me forever to decide" your best friend says excitedly, grabbing your hand and dragging you to the wall filled with shelves of options.
you scan up and down the shelves in awe, wondering how in the world you will decide on just one. theres anything from sculptures of cats and dogs to mugs and plates. you spot a pretty mug on the top shelf, and think its perfect for a tea lover like you. you already have a million paint ideas swirling around in your head. of course, even on your tippy toes you can't reach it.
you turn around to see dokyeom standing at the table and talking to one of your friends.
"babe?" you call out softly, hoping it was enough for him to hear you.
the pet names has been something you've been working on as well. you're ex boyfriend hated them, and you were never allowed to call him them, although you find them really cute. dokyeom just about melts every time you call him one. he smiles brightly at you as he turns around to find you standing by the shelves, happy that you're growing more and more comfortable by the day.
"yes baby?" he asks, initiating the butterflies.
"can you help please? i can't reach" you pout. he chuckles at you endearingly before coming over.
"which one?" he asks.
you point up to the mug that you've chosen. he reaches up and takes it off the shelf effortlessly, smiling as he hands it to you.
"for your tea?" he asks, already knowing exactly why you chose it. you nod happily.
"which one are you going to paint?" you ask, noticing he hasn't looked at them yet.
"i don't know" he shrugs, "i'm not very good at stuff like this" he says.
you shake your head sternly, "you're good at literally everything" you blurt out, nothing having said something so honestly before.
"everything, huh?" he asks, smirking and raising an eyebrow suggestively.
you blush madly. "dokyeom!" you say, hitting his chest softly.
"you said it, not me!" he laughs, shrugging as if he's innocent in the matter.
sometimes you're convinced he just likes to make you blush.
"hey lovebirds!" one of your friends yell, getting your attention. "come sit down and start painting, we're spilling drama" they say, enticing you.
you quickly pick out a puppy for dokyeom to paint, which is extremely fitting. you sit down where you put your coat, and he sits next to you. everyone gets to conversing as you are in your own little world picking out the colors for your mug. he smiles at you without you even noticing, getting caught up in how precious you look. he knows he's in love. he's known he was in love for a while now, but didn't want to pressure you into feeling something if you weren't ready yet.
he doesn't know that you already positive you're in love too, but are too scared to say it first.
once you have all the paints squeezed into your pallet, you choose a paintbrush and get to work. you chime into the conversation every now and then, laughing at all the jokes. dokyeom paints his puppy, which is turning out amazing just as you expected. after you've finished the base your hand starts to cramp up from the weird angle its been in. you lay down your paintbrush on the table. while he's amidst in talking, you nervously reach your hand out under the table and rest it on his knee. every once in a while you just get the overwhelming need to have him close. your ex was not touchy feely, and wasn't favorable to your clinginess. dokyeom is even touchier than you, so you knew you didn't have to worry about that anymore.
you look up at his face as you notice a smile appear at the gesture. he answers your friend, then puts his paintbrush down as well. he places his hand on top of yours and then brings it up so its resting higher up on his thigh. butterflies, again.
"sorry, i just felt like you were far away" you mumble, immediately cursing yourself for apologizing. you hate that your ex has made you feel like normal things aren't normal.
he smiles gently as if he heard your internal dialogue. "you can touch me whenever you want to, sweetheart. no apologies needed". he squeezes your hand as if to send the message home.
"i know, i'm sorry" you say. dammit, you did it again.
he giggles at you, shaking his head. he just leans forward and kisses your cheek, which is bright red, of course.
you all continue to finish up your paintings, having a ton of fun as you sip on the champagne and tell stories. you're pretty proud of your mug, and dokyeom loves it so much he takes a picture of it and sends it to his mom. you say goodbye to everyone and start walking again, making your way to your apartment. you don't really want him to go home yet, but you know you are both busy with work tomorrow.
"did i ever tell you how much i like your hair like that?" you ask jokingly, only because you're sure you've told him a hundred times. you love it when its down and fluffy. he stays holding your hand as you make your way up the steps until you're in front of your apartment door.
"maybe once or twice" he jokes with a smile, "but you can keep saying it" he adds, wiggling his eyebrows.
you giggle back at him until you both get quiet, neither one of you wanting to say goodbye.
"i have to tell you something" he says, and for once he is the one looking nervous. the role switch is endearing.
you nod, indicating that you're listening.
"i love you y/n" he says, finally saying it out loud. he starts nervously rambling "i don't expect you to say anything back yet. i know it might be too soon for you and i'm sorry but i just couldn't ke-"
you cut him off.
"i love you too, dokyeom" you say, as if its the most obvious thing in the world. you've never been so sure of your feelings.
he is still caught up in his nerves, "what?" he asks, making sure he heard you right.
"i said i love you too, stupid" you giggle.
he smiles so wide you're scared his mouth might break. and then he's pulling you into the tightest hug you've ever been in. he pulls away and cups your face, kissing you lovingly as you bring your hand up to his hair. the kiss only stops once you lose your balance and stumble into the closed door, causing him to break away and chuckle at you.
"stay the night" you say seriously, not even phrasing it as a question.
"oh thank god, cause there was no way in hell i was going home" he says with relief, pulling you back into him with an arm around your waist.
you put the key in and open the door quickly as he keeps you close. you barely manage to get the door open before his lips are on yours again.
"now lets continue that kiss, shall we?" he says, kicking the door closed with his foot as his hands grip you to him and you stumble to the couch.
#dokyeom fluff#dokyeom imagines#dokyeom x reader#seventeen#dokyeom#dokyeom fanfic#lee seokmin#dk#svt dk#svt seokmin
57 notes
·
View notes
Text
long post! milex inspired rambling!! you have been warned!!!
not to be That Guy but i am asking everyone who - just like myself - likes to speculate about miles and alex and their personal lives (very much far away from them so that our speculations don't make anyone uncomfortable, thank you very much) to stop for a second.
there's been a trend lately of people kind of... piling up heartbrokenness (?) on miles, and portraying a sort of break-up situation between the two of them after the end of the eycte tour. that's fair enough! lyrics interpretation can definitely be used to back those ideas, go off!
but also, since a lot of people have used the "alex was not ready to come out, they fell out as a consequence of this" trope (which again, fair enough, whatever waters your crops) i am asking you to actually stop and consider what this means with a bit of empathy.
a large part of the fanbase is queer, in whichever direction that may be. a lot of us have gone through the five stages of gay grief when we found out because, despite the bubble we create for ourselves on the internet, there are a lot of real life issues connected to queerness that we will simply have to learn to deal with. that being said, i find it sort of... mean, i guess, the way that people are using the very real issue of being torn between coming out (and the many, many consequences that follow) and maintaining a "secret" relationship, which as far as we know might have been secret only to the public. especially given the added weight of fame, i would also be very hesitant to have a relationship exposed for everyone to see, comment on, judge, or discuss like it's just another segment in the news.
alex is beyond private, as is his right. we as fans grow to have a sort of parasocial expectation of him to share facts about himself (since we may feel that we are "owed" that intimate knowledge) and we gossip about him endlessly and we pick apart every single interaction or relationship he has. if we do all this in private, and bearing in mind that it's not something we are actually in any way involved in ourselves, it's okay. i'm not dictating what people do on the internet because that'd be beyond pointless.
but please, especially if you're queer yourself: how would it feel to have a part of your life ruthlessly exposed for the world to see, slipping entirely out of your control? how would it feel to be the villain simply because you don't want to come out, or don't want to divulge private information?
this is not to say that you can't write or imagine these scenarios, but maybe try to have a bit of empathy when you do. sometimes coming out really isn't a feasible option, and there's nothing evil or cowardly about that.
74 notes
·
View notes
Note
Sara and Yelan X Fatui reader, Reader keeps their involvement with the Fatui a secret. Yelan/Sara end up stumbling upon a fatui operation one day and see Reader helping lead it, Yelan/Sara gets found and surrounded. Reader has to decide to either let their SO die, or betray the Fatui, they decide to Betray the Fatui. (Perhaps reader taking a nasty blow for their SO, losing a limb or just a really bad wound because of it)
Love and Betrayal - Kujou Sara & Yelan x Fatui!Reader
Genre: Angst with comfort
Characters: Kujou Sara & Yelan
Pairing: GN!Reader
A/N: Hello, anon! This took some time, but I hope you'll like it :)
TW: Disability, some general violance and blood. Yelan's part is more lighthearted than Sara's.
Kujou Sara
You landed on the street at the age of three.
Inazuma's problems were many and varied, but the most severe of them was banditry. Any change in the outside world caused ripples in the islands' society, leaving many jobless and desperate to make a living. Those individuals often joined The Treasure Hoarders, or rejected their penniless masters and pursued the path of the ronin. Those 'free spirits' took any and all jobs they could get, not unwilling to steal, rob, threaten or... murder.
The intercommission relationships were never pleasant, but conflicts between families were generally rare. And when they happened, things usually got very nasty very quickly. Your family experienced this first-hand when you found out a member of the Kujou clan was taking bribes from a group of ronin to cover their misdeeds. Having more money than sense, he hired those same rogues to make your clan... less interested in his deals. And they honored their contract.
You managed to survive the slaughter, saved by a friend of your family. They couldn't give you a new home, as they feared retaliation. You understood that only later, but it was soul crushing back then. You had to live off of stealing and begging for a few months, sleeping in any corner that provided any cover from the cold, oceanic winds.
In your lowest point, there was a single party who stretched out their hand. The Fatui. They took you in as an orphan, gave you clothing, food, and a roof over your head. Not one of your caretakers abused you, in fact they provided a sense of belonging matching that your parents offered. Even though you slowly understood that your fate was sealed, you didn't mind. It was far better than starving on the cobbled paths.
When you reached the age of sixteen, an interesting twist of fate brought a new hope into your life. The same friend that saved you thirteen years ago handed a heavy bag of Mora to one of the orphanage's head caretakers, and you got a chance. If you accepted to become a Skirmisher, you could re-enter civilian society as a free person. Well, as free as your work would allow.
This was no offer to refuse.
Over the next two years you went through hell. Among the standard body alterations, hard living conditions, grueling training and harsh drill sergeants only the strongest prevailed. You were lucky to be one of those.
You returned to Inazuma, and slammed against a huge wall of disappointment.
There were no adrenaline-filled battles the brochures described. It turned out that the most exciting thing your team did was beat up a few ronin every now and then. It was a let down, sure, but you soon grew more and more appreciative of your job. For such Mora, standing around some big shot for twelve hours a day was a steal. The boredom was overwhelming most of the time, but your comrades made it more bearable. Despite their job, they were decent and honorable people at heart.
Your civilian life was dull, until that fateful day.
The day when you first saw her.
You were taking a stroll outside Inazuma city, when a soft voice caught your attention. You approached the source carefully, as to not disturb the beautiful singing. Hidden behind a boulder, you observed the singer. Sara was sitting by a spring, carefully waxing her wings and humming a folk song you've heard ages ago. The sight was too much for you, and your legs carried you towards the Tengu.
Sara was surprised, bashful even. You caught her off-guard in a moment of great vulnerability, and she was quite ready to turn you into a pin cushion. After explaining that you had no ill intent, Sara begrudgingly allowed you to join her. It was awkward at first, but you got the conversation flowing with some effort. The Tengu didn't talk much, but she soon eased into a casual discussion about the recent events in Inazuma.
After you parted, you accepted that she wouldn't want to see you again. Still, you frequented the same route you met her on, some part of you wishing to find her there once more.
And you found her there again.
Once, twice, thrice.
Your hangouts became a regular occurance. Sara never pushed you away, no matter how angry she was. Your gentle, friendly voice was able to calm even the greatest of her inner tempests. She enjoyed your company any time, and Sara soon started seeking you out during her breaks or free time. Her view of you changed one day, when you brought her freshly made Onigiri on the start of her day.
She understood that the warm, fuzzy feeling inside her chest whenever she saw you meant you were something more.
She told you so, on a cold, but tranquil evening. Being more than in love with her by that point, you told her you felt the same.
You shared your first kiss, long and passionate, next to the stream you first met at.
Kujou Sara started being more and more insistent on you moving in with her. She wanted to be closer to you, spend every free minute of her day with you by her side. You understood that, but there was a problem.
You never told her.
Yet, you fulfilled her wish. It was not hard to hide your gun and outfit, seeing as she provided you not only a room of your own, but also valued your privacy. Your rifle rested under your bed, carefully wrapped in bed sheets, and the uniform was tucked on the back of your wardrobe. You checked its exact position whenever you returned, and by the way it remained untouched it seemed she was still oblivious.
You promised yourself you'd tell her someday. You'd tell her when you would be ready.
Yet fate had a different plan for you two.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You hiss as a large, gloved hand unwraps the bandages covering your left hand.
"Hurts that bad?"
"Well, it isn't pleasant" you respond, pulling up your sleeve.
Sunlight falls on the scorched, pale skin. Red stains are littered across your forearm, delivering stinging pain to your body. An antiseptic fluid is poured on them, causing you to flinch and clench your hand.
"Easy there, Y/N" The Hydrogunner says, withdrawing the bottle. "I'm almost done".
The Fatui places a tissue on the wound, and rubs it up and down slowly. After drying it, a new bandage is placed on your arm.
"You should really ease up on using your Delusion. I don't want to see you falling apart before we can earn the big bucks". Your commander, a hulking man named Pietro, pats you on the back.
"Pfeh. I can last those three days no problem" you respond.
"Something to help with the pain, hm?", the medic of your team, nicknamed Lean, offers you his hip flask.
You grab it, and, after taking a swing, hand it to Pietro.
"Storm the front!"
You turn your head, only to see an Electro-infused arrow flying your way.
Is that Sa-
Before your mind can fully process this question, the projectile crashes against a Geo shield.
"Nice try", your geochanter shouts from behind you.
You get up, and pull your mask down on your face before summoning your weapon. In front of you stands Sara, wings fully revealed and another arrow ready. Next to her are a few Shogunate soldiers wielding spears.
"Ha! That all you got?"Pietro taunts, hammer in hand.
"Apprehend them!", Sara orders, and her men move in to execute.
The other Pyroslinger fired his weapon before you managed to load yours. Pietro was already rushing at the enemy, Delusion crackling with lightning. With a sideways swipe, he sends three infantrymen flying back. Sara jumps up, wings striking the air to give herself a boost, and fires another missile. It pierces through the shield this time, and lands right next to you. You go down on one knee, and lift your gun to your eye.
It's either you or her right now.
You fire, and your Delusion ignites the round. It pierces the air, and pierces Sara's largest left wing with ease. The pain causes her to flinch, sending her arrow sideways. It still lands, striking the Geochanter in his shoulder. As his wounded body falls back, your hands load another bullet into your weapon with practiced ease. You aim, and fire again. You miss, the round whizzing through the air right past her stomach. You reach into your pouch, but before you can load again, a Hydro blast strikes Sara right in the chest. She is knocked off balance, and plummets to the ground. Sara, along with her bow, lands on the sand with a dull thud.
Your heart is still pounding with adrenaline as you rise up, rifle still pointed at the Tengu. It's awkwardly quiet around. You search the surrounding are with your sight, spotting many purple-clad bodies on the beach.
It's over?
Your muscles relax at last. You turn your head back. Your colleagues are standing a few meters from the lying Sara in a semi circle. Alfi is still clutching his shoulder, arrow now broken off. Your eyes land on Pietro's hammer, and that's what stops your heart rate from lowering.
"You really thought you could beat us with these newbies? You're an idiot, little birdie."
Pietro's tone was harsh. You knew what that meant.
You had to think. You had to think fast. It was clear your coworkers would kill Sara, given a few more seconds. You called off your weapon.
Convincing them wouldn't be possible, since she shot Alfi and attacked you.
Snatching her away isn't an option. Explaining yourself out of that would be impossible, and if you ran, they would shoot you.
You had to… kill them, then. But your rifle wouldn't do it at all. Too slow to kill all four before they would smoke you.
Your hands dive into your pockets, and soon find two ignition grenades. Your commander is saying something, but you aren't listening.
You take a deep breath, and start counting.
One. You pull the safety off of the explosives. Judging by their relaxed stances, your comrades didn't notice the hiss.
Two. You run forward, and drop the grenades beneath their feet. Your keep running.
Three. You charge at Sara, who's still too surprised by your actions to move a muscle. You tackle her to the ground, shielding her body with your own.
Four.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The door slides open, revealing the familiar, red crow mask. Supporting yourself with your right arm, you move into a sitting position.
She approaches the hospital bed, bowl of miso broth in her hands. Your eyes follow her movements. She places the food on your nightstand, and sits down on the edge of the cot.
"Good morning. How are you feeling?" she asks.
"Hello to you too, Sara. I'm… eh. I'm alright" you answer, grabbing the spoon she brought with herself.
You two sit in silence as you eat the soup. Sara looks at your scorched back, and frowns. It's the second week of your recovery from the explosion. The fire caused much damage to your back and left side of the body. Even though Sara ran as fast as she could, it was too late to save your left arm. Now, a small cape covered the stump whenever you left the house. Sara was with you every day, providing you meals and changing your bandages daily.
"Y/N."
"Hm?"
"I'm… sorry I charged you back then. I got carried away. "
You turn to her, a mocking smile on your lips.
"Pinch me, because I think I'm dreaming. You decided to tell me that just now... Could you say that again, my love? I'm not sure if I heard that right..." you tease.
Sara pouts, crosses her arms and turns away. You can't hold back a laugh at her childish behavior. You put down the spoon, and raise your hand to her cheek.
"It's alright, it's alright. I'm sorry as well. I should have told you earlier."
She turns back to you. Her golden eyes look into yours with gentle, unsure affection. You stay like that for a moment, before you drop your arm and look down. Silence falls again.
"Sara… thank you for letting me bury them."
"Don’t mention it."
Your hand feels around for hers, She catches it in her gentle grip.
Yelan
Poverty is one hell of a motivation.
For a normal person, like you were once, the thought of not having enough Mora to purchase bread or rice is as unreal as a second Kaenri’ah. The gods have their own plan, and lead fate uncaring of mortal needs or desires however. Despite your greatest efforts, the image of eating bark soup started becoming terrifyingly real with each passing day.
When the mining company you were a guard in bankrupted, you needed new work. The job market at the time was not really in need of military personnel, as the Milelith were more than enough to handle the occasional bunch of Treasure Hoarders or Hilichurls. After the Traveler’s adventure in Liyue, however, there was one party who needed new soldiers.
The Fatui.
It turned out that the company didn’t go broke, but was shut down for involvement with them. Thanks to their excellent intelligence, they didn’t have to ask any questions at the interview. You came into the room to see a contract ready to sign, a Pyro Delusion right next to it. After seeing the wage, you did not think twice about signing it.
And so began your new life, a life of full coffers and blood on your hands.
There weren’t any Snezhnayans eager to enlist after the whole sea god fiasco, so field Pyro Agents were in demand. It was dangerous work, especially in Liyue where the counterintelligence office was going strong. With your quick thinking and experience in the field, you managed to outlive most of your coworkers and advance in the ranks, soon gaining the title of Inspector.
You gambled and slept by day, and slit throats at night.
On one of your visits to the casino to get rid of that annoying surplus of Mora in your safe, you met a certain blue-haired woman. The dice she presented were exquisite, so much so that the fact they were weighted flew over your fellow players’ heads. She didn’t manage to fool your trained hand, though. You flirted with her, and asked her to go have a cigarette outside. When you got there, you remarked about her cheating. She only shrugged. It’s not like the stakes were high, she said. Most people who come here don’t need the money anyways. She stated that she didn’t need it either - it just weighed her pockets down so pleasantly. You laughed at her honesty, and audacity.
She found your keen eye and quick wit alluring as well, so you started dating. You hung out during the day, as the two of you worked mostly during the dark hours. The fact that Yelan was an agent wasn’t a secret, especially to Fatui. But your involvement was well hidden by you. Yelan employed a ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy that made it easier. Any of her attempts to follow you were quickly foiled, as your ears and eyes were now more than trained to catch anything suspicious. At some point, she gave up on spying on you. You didn’t tell or report anything about Yelan to your superiors. It’s not like you meet during work hours, right? Plus, things like what’s her favorite tea type or time of the year weren’t very valuable.
You still aren’t sure if you overestimated her abilities, or underestimated those of your subordinates.
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------
You lean against the wall as two Skirmishers enter the room, dragging a person behind them.
It’s clearly a tall woman in civilian clothing. She has a plain bag over her head, and a gag in her mouth as well, judging by the noises she makes.
“Here.” You point at a lone chair in the middle of the room.
The soldiers force her into a sitting position, and not without difficulty. She struggles hard against your underlings, but their iron grip doesn’t let out. They tie her hands behind the headrest.
“Remove the bag. Let’s see what we have here.”
They oblige. When the cover is lifted, your heart drops.
You can see the spark of anger and resistance in her pupils for a brief moment. She looks around the room, and when her eyes land on your unmasked face, they soften. She stops her struggling, as surprised by this as you are.
“Yhnmh?” she mumbles, eyes wide.
You stare at each other for a while in complete silence. Her face is scratched and bruised. The confusion in her gaze turned into sadness and… fear.
You’re dragged back to reality when one of the guards holds up a Hydro vision in his outstretched arm. You take it up, any leftover doubt about her identity disappearing. You clutch the gemstone in your hand.
“Appreciated. Leave me with the prisoner for now. Wait outside.”
You wait a few seconds after they close the door, making sure that nobody will hear your conversation. You look back to Yelan, and pull up an old chair from the corner of the room.
“Got yourself into quite the predicament, haven’t you, my dear?”
Yelan looks down at the gag quickly, and returns her gaze to you. You shake your head.
“Listen, I’m not going to remove the gag. For now, at least. I want to make sure you hear all of what I’m going to say here. Okay?”
She nods. You spill the beans. You tell her why you joined, who you are in the Fatui and assure her that you weren’t spying on her at any point. She nods along, now more at ease.
After you’re done, you sigh. A moment of silence.
“You know what they’ll do to you now, don’t you?”
Yelan looks down, averting her gaze.
“An interrogation will take place. Either you tell them what they need to know and you’ll be killed, or they’ll… we will torture you to death.”
She looks downcast, and you immediately regret teasing her this way.
“Come on, Yelan! I’m kidding. I’ll get you out of here. But… we have to wait for a good moment to do so. There will be a change of shifts in about an hour. Until then, I’ll have to act out my role.”
You remove the gag, and Yelan spits out some dirt and sand.
“Listen. They will torture you for a bit, but don’t worry - I’ll tell them to go easy on you. We don’t want to raise suspicions, right?”
She nods. “Right. I can take it.”
“That’s my Yelan. Put on a show for them. Make them really work for it, alright?”
“Mhm.”
You smile, and she returns the expression. You get up and walk closer to her, leaning down and grabbing her tied hand in yours. You place a kiss on her lips.
“I’ll be back, I promise. Stay strong for me. I love you.”
You make for the door, her Vision still in hand. You leave the room, and all eyes are immediately on you. Turning your attention to the two guards, you speak.
“Begin your work. I need her name, rank, number and names of her superiors. But go easy on her, for now at least.”
They nod, and you walk up to your desk. After the door to the cell closes, you reach for a book on your shelf. Interrogation techniques, provided by command.
The following hour is hard for the both of you. The screams and moans from the torture chamber make you cringe. The sounds of your girlfriend in pain paint grim images in your mind as you go through the book, checking all the tortures considered ‘light’. In your mind, you go over every possibility. You must have checked your medkit a good twenty times during this hour, making sure all the medical supplies you might need will be there.
Finally, the hour passes. Six of the seven guards in the room make for the door, leaving only a single Pyroslinger, cleaning his weapon in silence. The two guards by the door go down the mountain side, leaving only one to guard the entrance to your hideout while the replacement gets here. You wait a few minutes, and go outside.
The Vanguard by the door looks quite sleepy. Good for you. You pull out a cigarette, and offer the box to him. He takes one, and, using your Delusion, you light them.
“How did you catch her?” you inquire, pretending to be curious. That’s a story she can tell you herself.
You don’t really pay attention to what he is saying. Your cigarette is long put out on the ground as you prepare a garotte. Before he can finish, you jump up and tighten the weapon around his throat. He kneels down as warm, bright red blood pours down his neck. You wait until he stops gurgling, and kick his limp body down the mountain. As it plummets down, you enter the hideout again.
You march towards the cell, from which screams and moans still ring out. You grit your teeth. As you pass by the Pyroslinger, you leave a Pyro clone next to him. After you hear the chair fall over, you pull out a pair of flintlocks.
You kick the door open. One of the guards turns around, but you greet him with a shot right in the ribs. The other falls down as well, his head painting the floor a deep crimson. You drop the spent weapons to the ground.
You quickly turn your attention towards Yelan. Her hands are now tied to the armrests, blood-red spots marking where her fingernails once were. Not a single one of them is still on. She keeps one of her eyes closed to prevent blood from her split eyebrow from getting into it. Half-dried blood traces come from her mouth. You gently open her mouth, revealing about five teeth missing in the back. You move to untie her.
“Y-you’re back…”
“I promised, didn’t I? They messed you up a little. Can you walk?” you hand her her Vision back. She raises up shakily.
“Yeah, I think so.”
“Good. Let’s go then.”
As you go through the door, time slows down. You see the wounded Pyroslinger on the floor, sitting up against the wall. His forearm is keeping his bowels from pouring out on the floor, and in conjunction with his other arm, it holds up his weapon. Pointed right at you.
Before you can dash away, he pulls the trigger.
The bullet rips through your stomach and you fly back. Yelan screams your name, before sending a few Hydro lines at the dying soldier, slicing his throat open. You press down your hands on the wound as she drags you to a wall. After sitting you up, she examines the wound.
“The… liver. He shot me in the liver…” you force out through gritted teeth. Yelan takes off her shirt and rolls it into a makeshift bandage.
“Just hold on, Y/N. I’ll get you out.” She wraps the bullet hole in the material, already stained red from the contact. You shake your head.
“No point. I’ll die, Yelan.” Blood pours through the material, getting in between Yelan’s shaking fingers. It’s hard for you to speak, as the pain is growing with each second.
“No, no, you’ll be fine. Come on, you can’t leave. Not like that, please.”
An idea pops into your fading mind.
“Vision. Use… your Vision. Heal me.”
“But I don’t know how!” She protests, small teardrops in the corners of her eyes. You grow paler with each second.
“Try…”
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Tsk. You won again.”
Yelan chuckles, swiping the bag of Mora off the table.
“Luck isn’t on your side today, my flower? Too bad!”
You roll your eyes. Even though the injury still hurts, your girl has been pestering you all the time. She managed to heal you at the last moment, and that gave her quite the scare. Ningguang told you that she’d never seen her so scared. The gambler obviously denied that, but you knew the truth.
“Hey. Take it easy. Drinks on me?” She must have noticed your downcast look.
“Heh. Who am I to refuse this beautiful woman’s offer?”
She looks down, an over exaggerated expression of surprise on her face.
“Well, looks like you can’t go with me… What a shame…” She hides her prize in her pocket.
“Oh, just you wait Yelan. A week or two and I’m going to get back at you for this!”
You both chuckle.
Thanks for reading!
#genshin impact#genshin#genshin impact x reader#genshin x reader#genshin x gn reader#genshin impact x gn reader#genshin impact angst#genshin angst#genshin impact kujou sara#genshin kujou sara#kujou sara#kujou sara x reader#kujou sara x you#kujou sara x y/n#kujou sara x gn reader#kujou sara angst#genshin impact yelan#genshin yelan#yelan#yelan x reader#yelan x gn reader#yelan x you#yelan x y/n#yelan angst#angst
238 notes
·
View notes
Note
hii babes i was wondering if u could do a tr boys x( beyonce )reader maybe bonten?like how their s/o is famous and they are world criminals .have a good day <3
𝐁𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐰/ 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐬/𝐨
A/n: Gn!reader. Mocchi isn’t in this b/c I was struggling to try writing for him, when I feel like I have his character down maybe I’ll do his version. I’m sorry this request is late, but I hope you enjoy.
Warning: curse words, threats, words implying to violence
𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐣𝐢𝐫𝐨 𝐌𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐲 𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐨—
- there’s a bunch a people who know y’all are dating just not the whole public
- mikey knows how to keep peoples mouth shut
- let someone see y’all together and he is on them
- doesn’t go anywhere with a lot people though to begin with
- being in a relationship with Mikey would be complicated at times he wouldn’t always communicate and would push you away
- with you being busy yourself caused more problems
- you have to have patience to make sure you get Mikey to sit down with you every once in a while and actually spend time together
- Mikey does love your private moments
- at times he’ll make up a random game
“How about I say something and you sing it to me back”
“mikey ..”
“What it will be like an exercise for you,right?”
𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐳𝐮 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐮𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐲𝐨—
“ So, can I listen to the album?”
“Sanzu it’s not done yet”
“Just one song please”
- you played 2 seconds of a song and didn’t let him hear more than that
He just paused and stared at you in disbelief “… that was not the full thing”
“Yeah I never agreed to let you hear it”
-Dramatically flailing out his arms and whining “I didn’t even get to hear your voice”
- Negative comments are something you’re already used to, but let anyone say even the slightest negative shit about you near sanzu and we might have to pray for that person’s life
- “people who listen to y/n are brainwashed” “ I don’t understand people who listen to y/n they don’t even sound good”
- sanzu just has to go ‘talk’ to this person cause ain’t no way they said such bullshit with confidence
- y’all relationship did get to the public quickly, but that ain’t really surprising
- this of course caused discourse, and now a bunch of articles are on you
- “y/n seen out with bonten member”
- the album you dropped afterwards still hit #1 sooooo you do you
- everything that was being said was getting to sanzu though
-he didn’t want to cause you any problems
- you reassure him he isn’t causing major problems and your relationship will not end
𝐊𝐨𝐤𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐢 𝐇𝐚𝐣𝐢𝐦𝐞—
- koko had showed up to a photo shoot of yours one time and let me tell the look on these peoples faces
- they’re all having a wtf moment seeing you send a little wave his way
- they knew better than to question the relationship when seeing the side eye koko was sending
- just making sure nothing’s going wrong
- whenever he does want to go out with you it’s always in a secluded area where everyone knows him, and knows not to open their mouth about how he’s with you
- he’s quite helpful when it comes to your career
- you want his opinion on what the album cover should be he’s right there giving reason why the first cover matches the energy of the album better
- right there when you have writers block, letting you know there’s no need to rush
-he’s your assistant but he’s not
𝐊𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐜𝐡𝐨 𝐇𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐨—
- your biggest fan
- very careful with his relationship with you
- he didn’t want it to get public that you’re dating a bonten member as he knows how it could effect you
- now kakucho is a very supportive boyfriend
- he’ll listen to your songs on repeat, and then praise you for your work every single time
“ you did amazing on this!”
- though at times he forgets not to play the unreleased songs
- you showed up to his place and heard your song blaring through the walls
- like sir you can’t do that
- kakucho doesn’t want to cause any problems, but give the word that someone’s been messing with you and he could go handle it then he’ll do just that
- he won’t involve himself in a situation till it’s necessary
- kakucho just minds his business except when it comes to your music
𝐓𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐨𝐦𝐢 𝐀𝐤𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐢—
- was here since day motherfuckin one in your career
- Takeomi is like your bodyguard at times
- “ y/n when do you plan on giving us another album? It’s been such a long time since you dropped-” this person kept on pressing you while being all up in your face
- that’s where takeomi comes in cause ain’t no one gonna make his s/o feel uncomfortable
- odd as it is to the media y’all are just coincidentally in the same area there ain’t a photo or video to prove you and Takeomi actually know each other
- have people all on the internet concerned for you, some think you’re in bonten, just a list theories
- Takeomi just knows how to make sure you guys aren’t caught looking like you’re together
- he knows y’all are both busy people so he tries his best to make sure there won’t be any interruptions when you’re both together
𝐑𝐚𝐧 𝐇𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐢—
-shows up to your studio every time you’re there
-he knows he’s intimidating people there
-you got writers block and he’ll help in some way
“Let me do a verse” “mmm actually i just thought of what I wanna say. How about next album,ran?”
- when your relationship did get public it was a mix of hate and amusement from people
- he didn’t give a fuck
- went out for dinner right after like it was nothing
- “so, are you paying?”
- the nerve of him to ask like he didn’t order damn near everything off the menu
- thing is with ran he’s doesn’t care being in public with you cause he wishes someone would try you and him
𝐑𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐮 𝐇𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐢—
- another who’s wants to keep the relationship private
- rindou will just be sitting in your studio as you record songs
- only other people in there being your closest friends that work with you and they had no problems with rindou or either they decided to be quiet then to start one
- rindou does get jealous of the people that get to be around you
- seeing another so close to his s/o on the media and he can’t even be there due to the issues it would cause
- part of him wishes to let everyone know you’re dating him, but the problems it could cause you isn’t worth it to him
-bonus: rindou def was a fan when he met you
Taglist :: @milliumizoomi @plutosexc @sscarchiyo @iridesent-folly join taglist here
#tokyo revengers x reader#bonten x reader#manjiro sano x reader#mikey x reader#sanzu haruchiyo x reader#sanzu x reader#kokonoi hajime x reader#kokonoi x reader#kakucho hitto x reader#kakucho x reader#tokyo revengers headcanons#takeomi akashi x reader#tokyo revengers x black!reader#takeomi x reader#ran haitani x reader#ran x reader#rindou haitani x reader#tokyo revengers x black reader#rindou x reader#manjiro x reader#sano manjiro x reader#bonten x black reader
615 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hi!! What are your personal favourite fics ever ? And could u do a list of your fav deleted fics? I think I really just need new fics to read Haha Xx
Oh, I love that question. Okay, I already have a list of Favorite Fics, but here are my fave deleted ones:
Into The Blue by Zarah5 (E, 117K) honestly, I love all of this author’s fics, but I think this is my favorite of theirs. Louis as a flirty scuba instructor? Newly single Harry who just wants a fling? Boys living on other sides of the world who only have a few weeks together? Heartbreak. Hot af smut. OT5 friendship. Please….give me all that shit.
Pull Me Under by zarah5 (E, 140K) One of the very first fics I read when I came into this fandom…and I’ve read it multiple times since. Zarah’s fics hold up every time. This one has it all, great pacing, ot5 friendship, banter, super sexy smut, etc etc. Plus, Louis being super jealous of Harry’s best friend.
to hell with romancing by bottomlinsons (E, 8K) This is worth reading for Harry’s internal monologue alone. This is just a funny fic that morphs into a sweet and really sexy one.
Dream Awake by protagonist_m (M, 31K) beautifully written, this one pulled me in and I got lost in the story so deeply. It’s one of those fics that really deserved a wider audience.
pretty in pink by hereforlou (E, 6K) I love this author’s writing and they give suck a realistic portrait of an established relationship in this one: Harry is whiny and needy. Louis is indulgent and loving. The whole thing is very sexy.
into joy i’m sailing by hereforlou (E, 5K) This fic is so tender and soft and sexy. The whole idea behind the fic was just something that felt very real and so fully realized.
This is cheating, but I honestly love so many of hereforlou’s fics, so here are all the ones I have.
feel the chemicals burn in my bloodstream by togetherwecouldbealright (M, 123K) I read this one so, so long ago that all I remember is that I loved it, that there’s some really romantic and sweet moments, and that my notes from way back when only say, “OMG this one is so good! And I’ve barely gotten to the smut!” HAHAHAHA!
Good Enough to Eat by objectlesson (E, 7K) This author always does such a good job with depicting young, queer love and the way their characters experience the overwhelm of realizing they’re not straight, realizing the’ve met their Person, pining, and giving in. I love a lot of their fics, but I think this is my favorite of them. However, I highly recommend looking through all of them.
as he that sleeps here swims by Acavall (M, 23K) This was one of the very first fics I read in the fandom way back in 2013. It’s sweet and charming and a little melancholy (happy ending of course). Harry’s a ghost, there’s a little magic involved, and there’s a sweet 8K epilogue, as well.
In Vogue by otpforever (M, 121K) This one is just….so much. The intensity of the characters, the crazy hot smut (oh god, the window scene), the FASHION, the angst (I had to take a walk around the block after reading it), the epic love story between two men who could rule the world if they could just figure their shit out. Loved it.
like a boomerang by youwill (M, 48K) Very loosely based on the movie Groundhog’s Day (essentially just the concept of reliving a day over and over), this fic is delightful and charming and really worth a read.
Take Care Down By The Water by shyserious (M, 37K) Not quite mermaids, but oh my goodness I loved this fic. Magical realism, mythical creatures, dreamy/moody atmosphere, beautiful writing.
Where Your Heart Is by tvshow_addict (E, 154K) One of my all-time favorite fics and an absolute must read IMO. Chock full of hurt/comfort (both emotionally and physically), this fic is so moving and so beautiful and will take you on an emotional roller coaster ride from start to finish.
The Road Less Travelled by freetheankles E, 98K) Also known as “the lumberjack fic”, this fic is an instant classic. The author makes widowed Louis’ pain and depression so real and so moving. The characters are three-dimensional and complex and the well written sexual tension is finally relieved with super hot smut.
You Always Make Me Smile by champagneboyband (E, 60K, WIP) Yes, it’s a WIP. I’m listing it because the hope that someday it will be updated gives me the will to live. But also because even as a WIP this fic has everything I love. The characters are multi-faceted, the sexual chemistry is off the charts, the background story is complex enough to give the story numerous possibilities for angst and everything else. WHY MUST IT REMAIN A WIP???
something so precious about this by champagneboyband (E, 4K) this is just endearing and awkward and so well written. I love how much you get a sense of their connection and their inexperience and how much they care for each other in just a few thousand words.
I have lots more that I haven’t read, but of the ones I have, these are my faves. You can also check my DELETED FICS tag for more or search my blog for an author’s name. If someone has asked for their fics, it will be tagged.
471 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
imyour-buddy
Inspo from your favs
beprofree-blog
Sans titre
tunedbloggers
TUNED BLOGGERS
alluvthegurlz
⋆౨ৎ gracie ₊ﾟ