Kari: Lord Honey…. Is that an aristocrat from the medieval period?
Universe: No. That’s a saying in the south.
Kari: What’s it mean?
Universe: it means that his food tastes so good that you will want to slap everyone in the face a lot.
Kari: That sounds a bit violent.
Universe: It’s a figure of speech.
Kari: what shape?
Universe: oblong.
Kari: Got it. I like him. He has a nice fach.
Universe: For all of us, “non Italians” what’s that mean?
Kari: Face.
Universe: Got it.
Kari: So his food is so good that it will cause riots in the streets and mass hysteria all over the globe?
Universe: He’s hoping, yes.
Kari: ok. Cool.
Universe: He’s a home baker, Kari. You ready to get your booty in gear and grab the granny by her pearls and open the can of whoopie pie on this adventure in baking?
Kari: when you put it that way, no. But I would be willing to give it a go, because the way my Ma teaches me to bake is the “5 minute” way.
Universe: What’s that?
Kari: Well, it’s “…let’s stand by the oven and check the thing you’re baking every five minutes til it’s done.” And, to me there’s a few issues with that. 1. I like to sit. 2. Sometimes you can’t see the side down to know if the freaking thing is done or not, and 3. Too many check ups. I mean, I don’t even go to the doctor that often, ok? I don’t get that many check ups! And here I am checking and checking and 45 minutes later that’s 22.1 checks on the thing I’m baking and it’s like, I feel like I have better things to do. For example, I like sit and ruminate and complain but not about my lack of baking skills. Not peek through an extremely opaque oven glass with the light on where everything looks brown anyway.
Universe: how often do you clean your oven?
Kari: not very.
Universe: Then maybe you should invest in his book.
Kari: it’s on my Christmas list.
Universe: Good plan. On a separate note, are you ok with opening presents early?
Kari: It depends.
Universe: on what?
Kari: if it’s timely then it’s necessary. Like if you give me a delicious panettone I’d want to eat it right away otherwise it goes stale. If it’s a fruit cake I’ll get to it in about 6 years…
Universe: Yes, no, not a fruitcake.
Kari: Good, because I’m trying to eat keto esque.
Universe: A panettone isn’t keto esque.
Kari: Oh I know! It’s one of those desserts I have to try regardless. Too many panettones, no fitting in my pantaloons.
Universe: yes.
Kari: Ok, well, if this guy’s cookbook isn’t from the Middle Ages I think I’d like to try the recipes, because I don’t think I’d like the hygienic practices of baking in the Middle Ages. I’d rather not die of dysentery, as a lot of tshirts say now a days oddly enough.
Universe: Yes, Jason bakes from the heart, not any other way.
Kari: Well that’s a relief, although with his washed hands would be even more hygienic… 😉💦👏
Universe: Yes. It would.
Stephen Hawking: Please excuse my friend Kari, as she has an interpretation that is part literalist, and part silly.
Kari: Stephen, I adore you, but you’re an odd choice for a button on this scene…
Stephen: I was the only one left in this conversation. Everyone that heard that Jason baked with his heart, fled. I, myself, am not interested in trying bakery.
Kari: oh no….. 🙈🤷♀️🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Scene.
Appendices-
Universe: we’re not telling her that her gift is her better mood from having written about a nice person.
Kari: I already opened that gift! And I liked it better than a monkey likes a banana cream pie on a blazing hot southern Kentucky day if he visits from his home town in the Southern most part of the Amazon Rain Forest!
Scene scene. 👏💝
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i know you could explain it all with rule of funny or ''they did it on purpose as a gag'' but
sans has the uncanny ability to read your face like a book and know exactly what you're thinking with a glance. he also constantly misses papyrus' jokes and treats them like genuine questions.
papyrus talks to you over the phone and somehow manages to conceptualize where you are and what you're doing from your tone alone. if, however, you gave him a picture of asgore and toriel, the only way he could tell them apart would be by their clothes.
tone-deaf sans/face blind papyrus. they're both autistic in perfectly mirrored ways so when they talk they keep missing each other by a hairbreadth
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Eddie just started a live-stream so like, twelve people are watching when Steve sticks his head into the room like, “Hey, Robin and I are going to the mall. Wanna come?”
Eddie: Can’t, I got a thing
Steve: You want anything? We’re going to the bookstore because Robin says I have to ‘buy her a new book.’ *rolls eyes*
Eddie: Uh, yeah, Steve. You destroyed the book she let you borrow
Steve: It’s still in one piece!
Eddie: Baby, you did not so much as crack the spine of the book as much as you shattered it like you were Bane and it was Batman
Steve: I don’t know what that means, Eddie.
Eddie: In the comics, Bane-
Steve: I cannot handle a nerd-planation right now. I’m buying you a notebook with a mom quote on it and some stickers, okay?
Eddie: Okay.
Also Eddie: *a couple weeks later, photographed by paparazzi walking out of a studio with a ‘Live, Laugh, Read Books notebook*
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I do feel bad for Owen. Clearly this is NOT his forte. #freeowen
I'm guessing Owen has some kind of contract to do all the covers for the "Erin Hunter" books, since he also seems to do the art for Bravelands and Survivors. Which baffles me.
When you look at his portfolio, it seems clear that animals are NOT his strong suit. He mostly designs them as monsters or setpieces, not as characters in their own right. His humans, objects, and backgrounds are excellent, while his animals are quite generic-- So why did they choose this artist to design for their xenofiction series?
The art he does for Percy Jackson and Artemis Fowl is not as jilted and uninspired as his work for any of the Erin Hunter series. He does have a thing for harsh lighting (too harsh for my taste) but the composition is fine and the characters are recognizable. Certainly not "someone tried to unlock your phone" tier. It's strange.
It strikes me like he's not "comfortable" enough with animals to experiment with them, heavily referencing zoomed-in photos and leaving it there. Note how his cats are almost never doing anything, just sitting or standing around looking confused.
Has he ever even drawn a battle cat... battling?
I don't really feel "bad" for him, OR "mad" at him, because we have no idea what's happening behind the scenes, but I WILL say that I feel he is an absolutely awful match for WC. I don't understand what about his portfolio made him look like a good replacement for Wayne McLoughlin, besides some executive recognizing his style from somewhere else.
I hope he is compensated well for his work, but I don't buy hardcovers because of his art and am holding out hope that someone else takes over someday.
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