sometimes i think about penny turner and how much she must love her brilliant, beautiful son, her only child, and how proud she must be of him, but how much she must've worried about him too over the years (and probably still does sometimes) and then i cry a little 🥺

gif credit @ihatealexturner [X]

more emo thoughts about this under the cut because it's just that kind of night i suppose

like, we know alex and his mum (both his parents actually) have a great relationship and they love each other very much, so i have no doubt that she's so very proud of alex for how hard he works and how driven and talented he is, so proud of everything he's achieved, knowing how much he and his creations mean to a huge number of people

but then also, how could she not worry about him, knowing that yes, he is living his dream, but he's also flying all across the world every few years, a different city every night, performing to the point of exhaustion, only to have to come up with the next big thing all over again? that's a lot of pressure on his shoulders, even if he does share a lot of it with the rest of the band. and alex handles it admirably of course, but still, if even i worry about him sometimes, i can't imagine how it must be for his mother (and father, of course, all of this probably goes for him just as much)

i also think about how she must have felt when alex moved to the usa, and how relieved she must've been when he decided to move back to the uk/europe, to have him closer again. and i wonder how she must've felt watching all those different personas and eras he created appear and disappear, maybe sometimes fearing he'd lose himself somewhere along the way, but still always seeing her boy underneath it all. i'm sure she's gotten used to it to some extent, but it must still be overwhelming sometimes, seeing all the hype and the scrutiny and the expectations and the temptations he has to deal with, especially knowing better than anyone how special and sensitive he is deep down. i can imagine she wishes she could protect him while at the same time knowing he's a big boy now, and he was always destined to make his mark on the world in a way that required him to spread his wings and leave the warm nest she'd created for him

and then i think she must also be so grateful to know that he's always got his best friends with him when he's on the road, to support him and share the load, and that he has so many more friends who adore him and always have his back, and how much of a reassurance that must be and then I just 😭😭😭😭 you know? 🥺

I loved you from the start. -Luke Patterson x Reader.

Summary: Connecting through music or touch? A moment that keeps confusing Y/N and Luke on why they’re the only ones that are able to touch each other.

A/N: Here’s my first JATP imagine and I could say it’s an okay one for my first time writing about a JATP character. I’m making a whole series (because I love the show jeez, Luke especially). Enjoy it, what can I say? 🥺🤭🤘🏻👻🎸👅🍀

-

 Like Reggie always said, Julie and Luke ooze chemistry. And everyone seemed to accept it, because they were always in front of their eyes, singing their songs, like it's only the two of them in the world. Apart from Julie, who could see the three cute ghosts, her childhood best friend, was somehow able to as well. Flynn, Julie's best friend and the person who helped her throughout her hardest times, was still trying to acknowledge, why Julie's childhood best friend who also moved in next door, could see them without the music, but not her. Y/N on the other hand, was not like Julie and Flynn. She was introverted and shy, but brought light to every place she went to. Reggie enjoyed her company the most, thinking she's the most awesome person he'd met in his life. To Alex, she also seemed awesome and smart and he talked to her whenever he got the chance, but Luke---he was a bit too busy with writing music and playing it for the band, when he got an idea. He never really talked to her, only in situations when they ran into each other at the studio.

Julie, Flynn and Y/N were sat in the studio, talking about Julie getting taken down from her program, when the three boys appeared. -Are those cookies? -Reggie excitedly said. -Yes, Y/N made them, take some. -said Julie, but then remembered they can't eat, -Oh--- -Thanks Jules. -said Alex, sitting down behind his drum set. -I'll have one. -said Flynn and took one, but accidentally knocking one off the plate. Y/N sat up to take it, Luke kneeling at the same time, to tie his shoes. -Ouch. -they bumped their heads. -Careful there. -he rubbed his head. Y/N normally took the cookie and Luke went to his guitar. Julie, Flynn, Alex and Reggie, were all looking at them in shock, but the both didn't realize why. -How did that happen? -said Julie. -What? -You bumped into each other. Normally, you Y/N was supposed go through him like a sword. -said Flynn. -Maybe it was in the moment. -said Luke, -Sometimes we can pick up things, but then drop them. Julie took a hold of Y/N's arm and brought her to Luke. She lifted her hand and gestured Luke to put his up. When Y/N's hand landed on Luke's and it didn't go through it, they all gasped. -That is awesome! -said Reggie. -Everything for you is awesome. -Flynn spited. -You guys are meant to be! -Julie said and they immediately pulled their hands next to their bodies. -No Julie, stop. -Y/N muttered and she took her bag, leaving the studio. -Wait, Y/N! -said Reggie, but she was out of the studio.

- Weeks passed after the little surprise for everyone in the studio. Julie and the Phantoms continued writing music and singing their songs, while Y/N caught Julie and Flynn alone, managing to miss out on the three boys' presence. She was going to school, avoiding any contact with them whenever she saw them with Julie, knowing she can't fake that she can't see them, because all of them knew she can see them without music and for now, can touch Luke. It haunted her for weeks, the fact that she can touch Luke; the one boy that she could never imagine herself, holding his hand, nor loving because he was basically not existing. Julie told her, she can come to the studio whenever she needs to be alone and whenever she needs a secret place where she can cry, so Y/N wanted to try the opportunity and took her diary with her to the studio. She sat down, on what Luke said was, his couch and started writing the things she could only tell to paper:

" From what I still feel in my heart and on my hand, after being able to touch a person even my friend, who's more meant to be with him, I can't stop thinking through what it could mean? My mind's blocked and can't process what's this thing roaming in my heart? It started way before, when I was able to see the three of them. In that moment, my eyes got stuck to the one guy that I could never be close to like Julie was and is. I was always sat on the side, watching them lovingly sing to each other. And no, I never wished I was Julie, but I did want to be Y/N that stood in front of Luke. Singing was a big part of my life; it saved me from my hardest times, and no one knew I sang and sometimes wrote music. It was all the secretive part of me, and it still is. And now, seeing Julie and Luke sing---I don't know---maybe I want to sometimes start singing at the top of my lungs, which I do when I get home after seeing them sing together; all of them, the entire band. And Luke, he's an amazing person and now that I know that I can touch him, all I want is to run and give him the biggest hug...but I can't, because even though he's connected through touching with me, he's connected through music and heart with Julie...also, there's something I want to confess-"

When she was about to finish her sentence, the three appeared in the studio, as well as Julie and Flynn who came through the door. Y/N got confused and she only managed to shove the pen in her bag and unnoticeably knocked over her diary; it closing under the coffee table. -Y/N! -Reggie said, going in for a hug, but Y/N passing through him. -Oh. It only works for Luke. He frowned and got back to his guitar. Luke didn't say anything; he just played dumb and continued to be his own self; crazy and happy to see Julie with some new lyrics. -You can rehearse, I'm leaving. Bye guys, see you. -she said and rushed out of the studio, leaving no time for the others to react to her sudden leaving. Her feet walked fast to her house and, when she opened her door, her grandma was sleeping in the living room. Y/N slowly and quietly walked to her room, trying not to wake her up, and sat down on her bed. She was sad, too sad to even see from her tears. The dusty guitar was placed in the corner and she didn't want to pick it up that night, rather pulling the covers over herself and falling asleep.

- The boys rehearsed with Julie, and Flynn and her promised each other a sleepover, so the preparations started outside the studio. Reggie and Alex were doing whatever entertained them, and Luke was still stuck on his new lyrics, trying to put words together that made sense to him the most. He rubbed his forehead, with the hand that held his pen, while having the guitar pick, peeking at the corner of his mouth. His gaze fell on a notebook corner that had fallen under the table. He picked it up, thinking it's Julie's lyrics notebook. Luke tossed it on the table, it flipping some pages open, to the same writing from earlier. He took it in his hands again, with his well-known curiosity, as his eyes moved fast from one sentence to another. The last part of it caught his attention the most. What was she going to confess? His feet hit the ground and he was headed for Y/N's house, remembering she can see him, so he needs to sneak in but not be seen by her. From what he could hear, there was no sound coming from her house. He slowly walked in on sleeping Y/N, immediately spotting the guitar in her corner. She had created herself a writing corner, that was filled with papers. He couldn't uncrumple the ones she threw away around the small desk, because she was going to wake up and see him. Luke took some of the lyrics, and what seemed to be her lyrics notebook and was out of her house.

- -Hello, Y/N. -he said, when she flew in on him alone at the studio. -Take a seat. She followed, taking a seat a bit far away from him, -You left this yesterday. I found it under the coffee table. -Thank you. -she took it from his hands and placed it safely in her bag, hoping he didn't read any of her writing, unnoticeably crumbling that page in her bag. She cleared her throat before speaking again, -I'll leave. -Okay...-was all he said, refusing to talk to her. She met Reggie at the door, and walked through him, leaving the place. -What's wrong with Y/N lately? -he said to Luke. -I don't know. -said Luke, and went to try some music for Y/N's lyrics. When Julie came to the studio, and Luke had alone time with her, he tried asking her about why Y/N's singing is such a secret in her life. -Does Y/N sing? -he blurted out. Julie furrowed her eyebrows and turned around to answer him. -I don't know. Probably. Like every normal teenager. -No, I mean sing, sing. -I've heard her sing a few times when we were little, but now I've never even seen her touch a guitar. Why are you asking? -Just curious. -Her mum, used to talk to my mum that whenever Y/N was sad, she would go to her grandma and play her songs. No one knew why she did it, until--- -Hey guys! -Alex walked in, -Let's rock this rehearsal. -Never mind. -sighed Julie, and she went to the piano.

It stayed with him the whole time; two unfinished sentences, both leading to the girl he didn't know why felt so special to him? He played the guitar, making mistakes and messing up, which worried the others. It confused them even more, after he said he'll go on a walk. But they shrugged it off, thinking he's upset about his mum and dad. But this time, he didn't go to them; the house he went to the other day was standing in front of him. And, apart from yesterday, where no sound was coming from it, the house was now filled with a guitar sound and a soothing voice. He came in, unnoticed by Y/N, as he obsereved the scene, Julie was talking about. Her singing to her grandma, who was laid in bed, with pill boxes next to her. -That was beautiful, firefly. -her old hands were now placed on hers. Luke took a peek at the papers in his hands. Firefly; a song title written boldly above. Y/N's voice filled the entire room, as she started singing lyrics from Luke's papers. The words amazed him and he couldn't believe that, the shy and introverted Y/N, Julie's best friend, has a magical voice and songwriting talent. He wished for his guitar, and it dropped in his hands. When he started to play, both Y/N's and her grandma's eyes snapped at him. Y/N's mouth dropped to the floor, but she played along, so her grandma doesn't get suspicious. She stood up and approached Luke, so they could sing together for her sick grandma.

After their little performance, Luke magically didn't disappear, because he quickly took a grip of Y/N's hand; that kept him still. Her grandma applauded them both, thinking her granddaughter wanted to bring along a friend to make a small performance for her, and Luke and Y/N assured her, as if it was really like that. -What are you doing here? -she brought him outside. -I wanted to see why singing is such a secret for you. -You read my diary didn't you? -I open Julie's dream box; I open your diary. Same outcome every time. Two beautiful voices. Is there something bad in that? -Boundaries! -she raised her voice. -Boundaries. -Yeah yeah, I get that a lot. -he said, -Also...what were you going to confess at the end? -Nothing. It doesn't interest you. Go now Luke, please. -You are holding my hand, Y/N. -he said and she let go, shaking them off together. -Tell me. -No Luke. I'll see you tomorrow at the studio. -she said, and swung open the door.

- It was the most important show for the Julie and the Phantoms. The four of them were so nervous that they constantly rehearsed the lyrics backstage. Flynn and Y/N took over their places in the crowded room, both of them present for support of their best friend's band with her crazy ghosts. Luke peek around the curtain, just to make sure she's there, and in the crowd. -Did you spot her? -said Reggie from behind him. -Is it that hard to spot her? A person with the brightest and most innocent smile in this world. I hope I don't confuse her tonight. -I think it'll be cute dude. -he tapped his shoulder and went to Julie and Alex.

When their last song finished, but the band kept playing, Luke settled himself with the guitar and took the microphone to speak. -While you got to see the Julie and the Phantoms, here's something very personal to me; a song I wrote along my journey with this band, just by looking at one person in the room. She's here tonight, between you all, supporting us with just her presence. Firefly, this song 'I loved you from the start', is for you my muse. Y/N's entire system stopped processing his words and her mouth stayed open in shock, as Luke started to play and sing the song he wrote for her. Tears formed in her eyes, as she took the scene of the emotional, but moving song he was telling in front of a whole crowd for...her? The words contained how much she meant to him and how he loved her from the moment he laid his eyes on her beautiful face. The crowd whistled and applauded when he finished, and calmed when Luke took the mic again to speak, -It's been a long way of just observing her from afar. I never felt so much inspiration for music in my life. Somehow she was keeping me from giving up on my dreams. Y/N, you're the most amazing and talented person I've ever met in my life, so I would be very honored if you accompany me on this stage and sing your song 'Firefly' with me? The crowd, as well as Flynn was encouraging her to get up on the stage and sing with him. And while she resisted, they persuaded her into doing it, and she found herself next to Luke. Reggie handing her a guitar, she stood next to Luke, and they started singing together. It was like her dreams came true at once, by just writing them in her diary, that he so happened to read. He could see her eyes flickering with excitement and happiness, and when they finished the song, Luke cupped her face, and placed a deep kiss to her lips in front of the entire audience. Julie and the band couldn't be more happy about the two of them, finally putting out their feelings for each other. When they split apart, he rested his forehead on hers. -Maybe Julie and I connect through music yes, but there's nothing better than being able to feel the person you love the most. I love you Y/N, and I loved you from the start. -I-I love you so much that everything that happened so quickly, felt like a dream I'm too scared waking up from. -You shouldn't be scared, because you'll live that dream as long as I can take a hold of these amazing hands, -he kissed them both,-that make words come to life. God, the things you make me feel by just existing. -You're the most perfect ghost I've seen in my life. -she joked, and placed kisses to his cheeks, finally meeting his lips again for a final kiss before they go back to the studio.

-- Julie and the Phantoms wrote music, which was normal, but Luke always enjoyed writing music with Y/N's head on his shoulder. He was overwhelmed to finally feel the person he loves, because his biggest pain, is never being able to touch the girl he loved the most...his Unsaid Emily.

I’m Yours:

Charlie Gillespie x Reader

Chapter IV

Y/N is Kenny Ortega’s ‘niece’ after going through a rough breakup, Kenny decides to fly her over to stay with him, will her broken heart mend?

(Female Reader, NO SMUT, Romance, Friendship, THIS IS MY FIRST EVER FANFIC/IMAGINE, I hope it’s good, Kenny is lifelong family friend so reader calls him Uncle Kenny. I’m British so the writing is going to be British so like ‘mum’ not ‘mom’ yanno?)

TW- swearing. mentions of alcohol, drugs & divorce

꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂

Y/N

“Doll, you ready to go?” Kenny asked as he shrugged on his coat, we had been at Tori’s for a good three hours and I could see Kenny was getting tired and we did have a really long day tomorrow, I nodded at my uncle happily before bidding farewell to my new found friends. I found it quite strange as to how quickly they had befriended me and made me feel more than welcome- Charlie especially, I mean throughout the day he asked me if I was alright and he encouraged me to share my ideas with Uncle Kenny, it really was strange.

“See you tomorrow Y/n” Owen chirped, pulling me in for a quick hug, I was soon passed round through the group of friends each of them giving me a tight hug which I gladly reciprocated, I waved everyone a final goodbye before Kenny and I left Tori’s apartment and made our way back to the car.

As Uncle Kenny drove through the streets of Vancouver, I paid most attention to the lights displayed throughout, I watched as birds flew through the sky and listened to the soft sound of the radio, “you okay Y/n?” Uncle Kenny questioned,

“Hm?” I said, as the questioned tore me out of my unknown daydream, I turned to face my uncle Kenny and before he could repeat himself, my brain managed to process what he originally asked “oh oh yeah, I’m fine Uncle Kenny, just sight seeing” I laughed quietly,

“Okay, just making sure, I’m worried about you...” Kenny admitted, I had a feeling that he was but he just didn’t want to draw attention to me and my situation, I have always been very good at hiding my emotions it came from years and years of being told that my emotions and the way I felt weren’t ‘necessary’ and that I shouldn’t feel the way I did- in the end, I decided to no longer tell anyone my problems but deal with them myself, battling through the pain as a lone warrior, I didn’t even tell Kenny what was going on, I built up layers of walls around me to protect myself and make it seem like I was this strong, capable woman. “You’re only 19, Y/n, I know you’re strong but... I just want you to know that I am here should you ever need me” I nodded in response, worried that if I did speak, my voice would give way and I would be revealed as this weak character, I’ve already cried once today and I’m not planning on crying anymore, not in front of Kenny at least.

꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂

Kenny locked the door behind me as we both entered the apartment, “do you want a drink or anything Uncle Kenny?” I questioned as I made my way into the kitchen, opening the fridge and taking out the carton of orange juice,

“No you’re alright Star, I’m just going to head to bed, I’ll wake you up at 7 alright?” He assured me, I nodded as I sipped at my juice, I looked at the digital clock placed on the side- 12:00am, luckily I had sorted through all of my clothes before going to set and again before going to Tori’s because, quite honestly, I hadn’t the energy to do much at this point, I watched as my uncle wandered into his room, closing the door behind him. I let out a deep breath, the thoughts of a few nights ago coming back into my memory, replaying itself there, why wasn’t I good enough? I did absolutely everything I could for him... I loved him with everything I had... why wasn’t I good enough?

I kept asking myself, it was truly lost on me, I didn’t see myself as this perfect girl, this perfect girlfriend but I knew what I did for him. I was there for him when his dad spiralled, turning to alcoholism and drug abuse, I was there whenever he called, whenever he showed up randomly at my house at 4 in the morning crying and looking for a cuddle, I made sure to visit him mum every Tuesday evening for dinner because Zac wanted to move out once his parents split, deciding to live with his grandparents instead. We were even thinking about moving in together... well him moving in with me as I had already had my own place at 18. That boy was my entire world for 3 years and the fact that he could throw it all away so easily, really hurt me, and I don’t think it was anything that I could understand ever.

The thought alone caused my heart to feel crushed, it felt like Zac had a hold of my heart and whenever I thought about it, he just squeezed my heart as hard as he possibly could, it felt like a gut wrenching type of pain, I wiped away the tears that I didn’t even realise were spilling quickly out of my eyes. I cleared my throat and drank the rest of my juice before making my way to bed, I changed into my grey cable knit sweater and my plaid shorts and clambered into the large double bed, snuggling into the comfort that the bed brought me before I let sleep take over me.

꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂

“Rise and shine” Kenny said quietly into my bedroom, I groaned as I stretched in bed, “morning sleepyhead” he chuckled,

“Morning” I mumbled, scratching the back of my head, Kenny told me that we’d be leaving in 20 minutes, “okay, I’ll see you in 20” I smiled, sliding out of bed and heading into my closet, I grabbed my white tennis skirt, white shirt and dark blue sweater, I paired the outfit with white tennis socks and my white and blue Nike Jordan’s that Uncle Kenny bought me for Christmas. I placed my clothes on my bed and went for a quick shower, this time I dried my hair before chucking it up into a high ponytail, I brushed my teeth and did some light makeup again before changing and grabbing my phone off the side,

“Let’s go” I stated as I made my way over to Kenny,

“You look amazing” he smiled genuinely at me, I thanked him and we made our way back to the set of his new show.

“So... how did you sleep?” Kenny asked me,

“Oh really well thank you, that bed was huge, you could fit like five of me in there” I joked, just as my phone chimed, I looked down at the lit screen to see messages from the one person I didn’t want to hear from.

Zac- Hey, where are you? I came to your place to see you and you weren’t there...

I rolled my eyes and groaned internally before locking my phone and sinking into my seat, “what’s on your mind?” Uncle Kenny asked immediately, I swear it’s like this man lives in my brain. I turned my phone on vibrate just as another text came through,

“It’s nothing Uncle Kenny” I sighed, the man driving next to me simply hummed in response, he definitely didn’t believe me but I knew he wasn’t going to push for answers- he never did, he would always let me come to him if I needed and that was one of the things I loved most about him. I could feel my phone constantly vibrating in my hand whilst Kenny was driving, so I turned it on do not disturb just to try and escape it.

“Alright kiddo, we’ve arrived” Kenny said as he swiftly parked up, I went to unbuckle myself but Kenny stopped me, “you don’t have to tell me right now, but I am here, you know I won’t judge you like your parents” he explained, I sighed and leant over to rest my head on his arm,

“I know Uncle Kenny... it’s Zac, he texted me... I’m ignoring him though” I replied, he sighed and looked down at me, placing a kiss to the top of my head,

“You’re going to have to” Kenny started before I cut him off mid sentence,

“Message him at some point, I know I know” I sat back upright and unbuckled the seat before getting out the car, “come on” I sighed, putting back on my brave face before heading into the lot with Uncle Kenny in tow.

꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂

Charlie

“Y/n!” I heard Sav yell from across the lot, I turned to see Y/n walking towards us, her arms linked with Kenny’s as he was talking and joking with her, I watched as she let out a quick laugh before shaking her head, probably at some corny joke that Kenny told. “We’re matching!” Sav exclaimed as Y/n got closer,

“So we are!” Y/n giggled, “but don’t you have to be in your Carrie costume?” She questioned, pointing at the costume trailer just a way behind us,

“We are rehearsing Wow today in costume” Kenny announced, this prompted Sav to scrunch her face and turn on her heels, grabbing Tori by her upper arm as they both ran to the costume trailer, “those girls” Kenny laughed, shaking his head, “I’m going to get some breakfast, do you want anything Y/n?” The girl shook her head, “you have to eat Star, I’ll get you a croissant okay?”

“If I have to eat, can you get me some blueberry pancakes?” Y/n questioned innocently, smiling up at her ‘uncle.’ Kenny simply nodded and walked over to catering to grab him and Y/n some breakfast. “Hey” Y/n said as she took a step closer to me, I looked down at her and smiled,

“Hey” I mirrored, “sleep well last night?” I asked, the girl nodded and started to walk down the lot, I naturally started to follow her, not wanting the conversation to end,

“Yeah, I don’t think I’ve ever slept in a bed that big before” she giggled, causing my heart to skip a beat slightly, “how about you? Did you sleep well?” She questioned, looking up at me with her beautiful y/e/c eyes.

“Oh yeah, Owen and I left Tori’s a little while after you and Ken left, we grabbed some food and then just crashed as soon as we got home” I said simply, just as I mentioned Owen I saw him come out of his trailer dressed as Alex,

“You, Charles. Have to be in costume” he stated, pointing at me, I rolled my eyes before he shoo’d me away, I nodded slightly at Y/n as a way to say goodbye and she saluted me slightly which caused me to laugh before jogging up to costume.

꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂

Y/N

“Why the long face?” Owen asked me as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders, “wassup Buttercup?” I bit the inside of my cheek and looked up at the blonde boy,

“It’s my ex” I stated plainly, “he messaged me this morning and I just...” I trailed off, not really knowing what to say, was I ignoring Zac because I hated him, or was I ignoring him because I was worried that if I did text him back, I would fall for him all over again? You can’t get over someone that quickly, no matter how much they hurt you... right?

“Don’t know what to say to him?” Owen answered for me, “what did he say?” He asked, I daren’t look at my phone again because I knew that he had probably texted more so I tried to remember what I saw at quick glance.

“It was something about why I wasn’t home and where I was” I remembered, sitting down on the small couch in the resting tent, my back against the arm rest and my legs tucked up to my chest, Owen sat down, facing me and mirroring my position, “I just don’t see why I have to tell him that anymore... he’s my ex y’know?” I vented, leaning my head back and closing my eyes.

“Hey, you shouldn’t let him get to you like that, it’s not cool... look, I’m pretty sure we have a day off tomorrow, why don’t you come over to mine and Charlie’s place and we can watch movies and pig out?” Owen offered, I lifted my head back up and nodded, it didn’t sound like the worst idea, in fact, it sounded like the best thing for me, I mean karaoke last night helped me a lot so maybe just a chilled day would help too?

“Yeah that sounds amazing actually” I smiled.

꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂

“Okay you guys, Sav, Sacha, Tori, Mads and Jay you guys can all go home, thank you so much for your excellence today, you’re all amazing!” Uncle Kenny beamed with pride at his cast that he was dismissing for the day, we had just filmed 3 more scenes for the show and the cast had rehearsals for as many dances they could fit in today, the only thing left on the agenda was the hot dog scene, “now, I will see everyone at the next location? Y/n, you ready?” Kenny asked, I nodded as I felt a shiver run up my spine causing my body to visibly shake,

“Hey” I heard Charlie whisper, “you okay?” He questioned, staying within earshot of me,

“Yeah I’m good, just cold, I forgot a jacket and it was warm today... I kinda forgot how long today was” I laughed, slightly embarrassed about my sieve of a brain, although the presence of Charlie stood behind me seemed to keep me fairly warm, that is, until I felt him leave. I turned to see Owen looking behind him as Charlie darted off, “I’ll be one second” Charlie yelled loud enough for everyone to hear and wait for him.

“Where’s he going?” Jeremy asked, pointing behind him towards where Charlie had just disappeared to,

“I have... no idea” Owen sighed, shrugging his shoulders, “Y/n/n, do you know?” I shook my head,

“He just ran off, maybe he forgot something” I stated, just as Charlie came running back, handing me a brown corduroy jacket with a wool collar,

“Here, it has pockets too so you won’t have to keep holding your phone” he said, only slightly out of breath.

꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂

Charlie

Y/n gently took the jacket from me, “oh... thanks” she said as a red tint reached her cheeks, she shrugged the jacket on and I couldn’t help but smile at how it looked on her, on me, it fit perfectly but on Y/n, it nearly swamped her, the sleeves hung so low only her fingertips could be seen and the length of the jacket went just above where her skirt ended. She looked adorable.

“Yeah.. yeah anytime” I replied, Y/n placed her phone in her pocket and started to walk towards Kenny,

“Hey, I’ve gotta talk to my Uncle Kenny about some things for the hot dog scene, I had some ideas but I’ll see you on location okay?” She said, not just to me, but to Owen and Jeremy as well, all three of us nodded and joined together so we could all walk out of the lot,

“You like her...” Jeremy stated, Owen nudged him slightly and rolled his eyes,

“I made that observation last night!” He said, “but yeah, you totally like her... it’s obvious”

“I just gave her my jacket, she said she was cold, I would’ve done the same for anybody, like Mads” I defended, “she did look really cute in it though” I admitted, Owen agreed with me which caused me to look at him sceptically,

“Before you get jealous and ask me, no I don’t like her, she’s just a friend” he answered before I even had a chance to ask the question, “oh by the way, she was talking to me about her ex today, something about how he messaged her and she doesn’t know what to say to him, she seemed really down so I invited her to come over tomorrow” Owen explained,

“Oh really? Okay cool” was all I could say, Jeremy soon decided to change the subject to running lines as he could see that I was becoming nervous at the fact that Y/n was coming over, I had no idea why the thought of it had my heart racing and my mind scattered but it did, there was something about Y/n that I couldn’t quite put my finger on but whatever it was drove me crazy about her.

꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂

Y/N

We had just finished filming the final scene of the day- the hot dog scene and it was the longest scene ever, the amount of re-runs and developments on the scene was enough to drive anybody insane, I groaned slightly as I turned and sat on the seat that one of the crew members brought with them just as Kenny was wrapping the scene up. “Y/n, I’ve just got to do some paperwork and I’ll be right with you okay? I’m sure the boys will keep you company once they change” Kenny announced, to which I simply nodded, not having the energy to say anything or do anything else, I rubbed my eye as I pulled my phone out of Charlie’s jacket pocket, I looked down at the screen and saw the notification, I had 36 unread messages from Zac:

>Zac- hello? Y/n! Where are you?

>Zac- I’m worried about you...

>Zac- Y/n! Would you please just answer me...

>Zac- I went to the coffee shop, you weren’t there either, where have you run off to?

>Zac- look Y/n, I’m really sorry about what I did to you

>Zac- WTF! WHERE ARE YOU?!?

>Zac- you can’t possibly be giving me the silent treatment? Seriously.

>Zac- I didn’t realise you were so childish.

>Zac- I’m glad I cheated on you, you’re worthless

>Zac- wait no, I’m sorry I didn’t mean that I’m just worried about you.

The list went on and on, a mixture of emotions, I kept scrolling through the text screen until I saw the most recent text, delivered 1 minute ago,

>Zac- call me. Please.

I rolled my eyes, I couldn’t call him, I shouldn’t call him right? But alas, like muscle memory, I clicked on the call icon and there was his voice, “Y/n! Hey... how’re you?” All I did was sigh in response, I watched as the boys came out of the venue and into sight, they all waved at me before noticing I was on the phone, Owen and Jeremy dispersed whereas Charlie stayed, walking slowly towards me with a half-smile on his face, clearly worried about whether or not I wanted him to come closer.

“What do you want?” I said bluntly, “I’m not in the mood to hear your pathetic apologies Zac, you’re messages were ridiculous, you went from being apologetic to calling me worthless and saying that you were happy that you cheated on me!”

“Listen Y/n... I can’t explain” Zac began but I was in no mood to hear it,

“No you listen Zac, you don’t get to be sad, you don’t get to cry. You are the one who cheated remember? Or have you suddenly developed amnesia? You went behind my back and had this whole other relationship for 13 months... and on top of that, it was with Quinn! My best friend and you think I’m going to sit here and listen to your silly little apologies, no, you have another thing coming. We were together for 3 years and for a year of that you were with someone else, I was nothing but loyal to you, I was nothing but kind to you, I loved you so much and I thought that you would never hurt me, but I was wrong, you’re just a piece of shit Zac, you and Quinn deserve each other, you’re both snakes, you’re both pathetic and you both betrayed me. I dont want to hear from you again? Do I make myself clear?” I ranted down the phone, I never raised my voice, I kept calm, I wouldn’t let him know that he made me so angry that I wanted to scream and throw my phone into the road, no. I wouldn’t let him have that power over me.

“But Y/n- we’ve been through so much... Quinn doesn’t know me like you do... she’s not there for me like you do” Zac grovelled, I scoffed in response,

“Well isn’t that just a crying shame? You should’ve thought about that before you decided to go behind my back and fuck her, you should’ve thought about it before you decided to be unfaithful. Hey, I’ll make this easy for you, I’ll just block you on everything that way you have no way of contacting me. Goodbye Zac” I said as I abruptly hung up, giving Zac no chance to talk, I blocked his number and started to go through my social media, blocking him on everything that I had.

“Uh... you okay?” I heard a worried voice speak, I looked up to see those eyes that could only belong to Charlie, he tilted his head and looked at me with concern riddled all over his face, I placed my phone on my lap and rubbed my temples to try and reduce to incoming headache.

“Yeah... that was my ex” I stated the absolute obvious, unsure of what else to say, Charlie nodded and stuffed his hands in his pockets before taking the seat next to me, he didn’t ask me to go on and explain but I felt like I could talk to him and so I did “you probably heard but he cheated on me, with my best friend”

“Yeah... yeah I did hear, look, Y/n, I know it probably won’t mean much but he really doesn’t deserve you and he isn’t worth your tears” he said calmly, placing his thumb on my cheek and gently brushed away the tears that I had no idea were slowly falling from my eyes, “by the sounds of it, he sounds like a dick and you were way too good for him” I laughed in response, “I’m being serious, Y/n, you’re gorgeous and kind and funny and insanely talented! I know it’s hard but you shouldn’t let a guy like that get to you...”

“Yeah I know... but he and I were together for so long, it just makes me feel like everything was a lie y’know? And like I can’t truly be loved by anyone” I admitted, hearing this Charlie stood up in front of me and held his hands out, “what...?” I questioned, he beckoned me to stand up before pulling me in for a hug,

“You? You can’t truly be loved? Y/n you’re one of the most lovable people I’ve ever met, everyone loves you here... I know that’s not the type of love you meant but trust me on this okay? You can very easily be loved” I pulled out of the hug slightly and Charlie lightly placed his hands on my face, looking deep into my eyes, he smiled slightly to himself causing me to become shy and look down, Charlie used his index finger to lift my head back up by my chin ever so gently, “who wouldn’t want to fall in love with you?”

💜thank you for reading💜

♡︎𝑡𝑎𝑔��𝑖𝑠𝑡 : @thesweetestsinner , @ifilwtmfc , @ashleyleblancx , @chloepart03 , @obxflowr , @lukeys-giggle ♡︎

Supergirl 6x7: Fear Knot.

Hello, Korra here very super late. Turns out when you have a bunch of school work slammed at you, you don’t have a lot of time for yourself. Interesting. Okay, on to the “mid-season finale” and how it faired! Featuring some commentary from my friend who has watched a tiny bit of SG here and there and had no idea what was going on. Just in case, SPOILERS AHEAD.

Turns out Kara’s dad is alive, even though it never showed her saving him. I don’t know about you guys, but I am so over Zor-el. He’s just dragging the PZ storyline around even more.

Kara’s greatest fear is losing everyone she loves again. I would have liked to see more of what Kara was experiencing, but alas, we aren’t so lucky. I think if done properly, this storyline could have been really amazing. I personally would have had small moments of Kara feeling claustrophobic, seeing visions of Krypton burn, or having her family get hurt without her.

Nia and Brainy making Harry Potter jokes is the level of a nerd relationship I aspire to have one day. They’re seriously too cute.

Nia asking Kelly how to handle the fear was amazing. I’m glad that they gave Kelly such an essential focus this episode, because it really shined. The “things you can see, feel, hear, and smell” thing is a great technique. Personal story time, but I had a panic attack a couple of months ago for the first time ever, and this really helped me regain my focus enough to make a phone call to my mum so I could get help. It works really well.

My friend when Lena is talking about the sun bomb: WAIT, did she always have an accent?? Me: well, they kinda made Lena of Irish descent after it was noticeable that Katie’s accent was slipping through every now and then, but it’s not that bad.  Friend: Oh, okay gotcha.

Friend when Nia and J’onn are on screen: Whoa, who are they? I thought Supergirl was the only hero on the show! Me: wtf no. They’ve been here for a while. Have you even watched any of this before?? Friend: Well, last time I watched it with you, Supergirl was fighting the scientist lady she broke up with after she learned she lied to her. Me: omg *snorting*

Okay, Alex’s fear. I thought it was really neat to see that Alex’s fear was a little mix of things, but essentially boiled down to her being so afraid of losing Kara. It was shown in the premiere, it was shown in the Midvale episodes, and it was shown whenever Kara had to fight a powerful enemy (Reign, Astra, Lex with the suit). Alex can withstand so many things, but only if Kara is okay. Alex would rather die, as seen in this episode, then let Kara get hurt.

Lena’s fear is drowning and how she felt after her mom died. After a beautiful scene between Nia and Lena, a water monster kills everyone on board. Lena feels extremely guilty to this day about how her mom died. Some part of her still blames herself for the drowning, and because she was unable to face that fear, everyone died in the process. Once she comes face to face with her demons, she can let go of that guilt.

Kelly has a fear of being inadequate to the team, because she’s not a hero like them. She doesn’t feel like she is on equal grounds with them, and that some day she is going to be left behind because of it. The speech she gave Fear Alex was honestly very wonderful and I loved it. Kelly realizes she doesn’t need to be a fighter like them, as long as she can protect them like a guardian does. Can’t wait for Guardian Kelly now. The shield scene was badass.

Nia’s fear, which has been shown quite a bit through this season already, is not being able to understand the dreams in time or at all. Because she wasn’t able to read the dream, Fear Brainy died, the Phantom escaped, and she was alone. I really love that they’ve been giving focus to Nia’s inner feelings about her mother and the loss she feels from that. This should have been something explored last season, but we were too focused on the Lex and Willy show.

I really liked that the episode focused on the women for this episode and allowed them face that trauma and fear they feel. However, Brainy’s fear of balloons was hilarious. And, it made sense that it didn’t affect J’onn as strongly. I know the show gave some explanation, but honestly for me, it’s because J’onn already lived through his worst fear. He lost his family and his home. Yes, he has a new life now, but imagine living through the genocide of your people and watching your loved ones die. There is no fear strong enough to hold him down anymore because it already happened.

The end of the episode was tad bit lackluster, but that’s okay. Zor-el gives some speech about Kara teaching him not to give up yada yada. He basically gave her the same speech she gave him a few episode ago. My favourite part is when he says he “cried a river of tears” and my friend says “Yeah okay, Justin Timberlake. Get out of here.”

Overall, I felt like this was a really good episode. I don’t love calling it a mid-season finale because it’s episode 7, but there’s no Supergirl until August now. The verdict for the first 7 episodes: I have really enjoyed most of them. Yes, the PZ storyline dragged on for way too long, but overall they were entertaining and well done. I can’t wait to see you all again!

Midnight In Sheffield (VI)

Pairing: Alex Turner/Reader

Summary: When a soon-to-be-wedded insomniac author heads back home to visit her parents, she comes across the likes of a mysterious musician whilst on her sleepless escapade in the AM.

Notes: I just don’t understand how Mark is getting so much hate??? Absolutely adore the man, so much fun to write problematic characters. But seriously, he needs to check his inbox, because I think multiple death threats have been sent already. Love you lot!

Sorry this took me so long, by the way. I had to rewrite it because the first draft was shit. And I think I’m just gonna throw the uploading schedule out the window, because it’s not fun that way for me anymore. I want writing to still be something I can find relief in, not stress.

Let me know if you’d like to be added to the tag list!

Song recommendations: Dance Little Liar by Arctic Monkeys, or A Tragic Fate from the Professor Layton soundtrack

Chapter VI - Mad Sounds

When she was younger, her parents were thinking about divorcing. And that’s really something to deal with at such a young age. So, she found solace in the only things her mum had lying around; books.

Books had been the only reliable thing in her entire life. The words were solid on paper, the storyline was set, and it had an end and a beginning. Nothing she had to go through; she only had to be a spectator from above, able to criticise people for the mistakes they made and commend heroes for their virtuous adventures.

It’s why she would describe her life to be something of a book. However, it was a story that seemed to have no ending. An intricate plotline that just kept on going, daring her to just mark the page and close the cover on it whenever she was getting sick of it. To just leave those heavy chapters weighing her down behind her, never to look back.

She felt like she was only at the middle of the story, where things should be going easier, because she could just leave her book open without the pages turning on their own because of the stiffness of the brand-new cover.

She had it all, really; though sometimes still in doubt, her parents were together, she had a man she could rely on who she would marry, and a nice apartment to get back to.

She barely felt the raindrops touching her face, as her entire body appeared to be numb.

She stood there, in front of the restaurant, for what seemed like ages, until the bells of the church struck eleven, and she was still unsure of why she was unable to move any of her limbs.

Warm hands touched her arms, comfortable, yet firm. They must have noticed how cold she was getting, because they draped a dark jacket over her shoulders. “You’re shivering,” she vaguely heard, “Let’s get you somewhere warm, shall we?”

She nodded, the events of the evening finally playing back all over again. Her stomach felt heavy, and her heart was beating at a faster rate than it usually was. “Do you think he’ll come back?” she muttered.

Brown eyes swept over her, and a chill went down her spine. She couldn’t tell what they were thinking; she only saw a calculated determination to make sure she was okay. “I don’t know,” he replied honestly, “But I know he wouldn’t want you to have caught something by the time he gets back.”

She barely gave a nod of her head, which was enough indication for Alex to tuck her under his arm, and walk her through the empty streets of a rainy Sheffield. At the very least, the downpour would hide the fact that hot tears were silently slipping down her face.

 She must’ve looked like a real mess; standing shivering in a soaked wet dress in front of a brick building, tucked tightly between other brick buildings, as Alex fumbled with his keys. Once finally catching his bearings, he was able to twist the lock open, and push back the door that were adorned with gleaming golden numbers reading ‘505’.

It was a shared complex, with an apartment downstairs and one up, which was Alex’ place.

She shouldn’t have been surprised, really, but the home was quite cosy, most likely because of it’s size, and if she had to describe its contents in a few words, they would be ‘retro simplicity’.

Brown leather couches which looked very well worn made up most of the living room, along with a radio that sat upon a wooden cabinet stashed with liquor of all sorts. One of the walls was almost entirely covered by built-in shelves, holding many books and records alike, but leaving just enough room to be able to open the door on that very same wall.

The radio was still softly playing old tunes, with hints of soul and jazz. The rain tapping against the windows had almost drowned the sound out completely, if she hadn’t been standing so close to it. Alex turned up the volume a tad.

“I recognize that song,” she said, “my mum used to play it a lot when my grandmother passed away. It was her favourite song.”

“She had good taste,” he replied with a friendly crook of his mouth. He staggered off to the kitchen, and she heard him put the kettle on as she hesitantly took a seat on one of the large sofa’s. If it hadn’t been leather, she wouldn’t have even dared to step close to them.

“I know it’s not much. But it’s home.” He handed her a steaming cup, and almost simultaneously drew a blanket over her lap. He suddenly paused, and glanced up at her, “I’m sorry, I just assumed you took milk and sugar.”

She shook her head, “That’s the way I like it.”

He hummed, and sat down in front of her on the coffee table.

“I should apologize,” he said.

She gave him a questioning look, inviting him to explain.

“I crossed the line with the way I was acting back at the restaurant. I was being a total arse, and quite possibly just ruined any chance of maybe remaining in touch with you altogether. I’d understand you wouldn’t want me to come to your wedding. Hell, you barely even know me.”

Her gaze didn’t waver from his, as she took a moment to think. “For some reason, I feel like I’ve known you all my life. I can’t say I’ve ever met someone who I was able to talk so freely with from the get-go, and I can only say that it sort of frightens me.”

“Why?” he asked, his brow furrowed.

“I suppose you can understand that it might seem quite odd to my fiancée that I’m parading about town with another man in the middle of the night, one I met only a few evenings before at that.”

He gave her a look. “That’s not what I was asking.”

“Why were you being an ass towards Mark?” she continued, decidedly avoiding the question.

He hesitated, his hands gripping the edges of the table a bit tighter, as if they kept him from falling over or summat. “Annoyance. Jealousy, perhaps.”

“Jealousy?”

He huffed, “Don’t tell me you didn’t quite figure that out yet. You’re a writer. I see someone being lousy towards a pretty girl, or anyone just around a pretty girl, for that matter, when I know they could be doing so much better. It bothers me.”

“So I’m just a pretty girl?”

“What would you want me to think of you as, then?”

He got her there. But she wasn’t yet willing to let it all go. “And what would be so much better for me? You? You barely even know me, perhaps I’m a horrible person. Perhaps Mark is the one that could do so much better.”

“Perhaps. Perhaps not. But I didn’t see you walking away from an argument.”

She stiffened slightly in her seat, thinking back on all other times they had had a fight. “Mark is just… he needs to cool down. It’s just his way of handling things, and I can only respect that.”

“And what happens when he doesn’t cool down?” he daringly asked.

This time, the look she gave him was a clear warning. He had indeed crossed boundaries tonight, more so than what should even be considered okay if they had been close friends. But they weren’t, and she was starting to take notice of the fact that she was quite easily giving her trust to this man.

“I can honestly say, and smack me across the face if you must, but after that brief meeting we had, I knew you shouldn’t marry him. You don’t fit together, and that’s not because of your lack of trying or incapacity to agree on certain things, but it’s because I can tell that there’s something going on between you that you don’t want to talk about.”

She didn’t slap him. In fact, it was quite the opposite. It was as if he had smacked her across the face with a harsh reality she had been trying to hide. And only then did something she had been wondering since the moment she met him cross her mind once more.

“You’re…” Yes, that must be it. “No, never mind.”

He shook his head, “Humour me.”

“Don’t start laughing at me.”

“I never would.”

She got off the couch, and strode across the room with a sudden surge of energy she hadn’t been sure could still muster up before. She looked out across the window, over the smoking chimneys of old Sheffield, and it was as if everything just clicked in her mind.

“You’re… You’re not real, are you?”

He didn’t respond, but she didn’t need him to.

“You’re just a figment of my imagination,” she muttered, her thoughts finally able to form into verbal words. She looked down at her hands, as if they were the only thing that kept her from spiralling. “A hallucination of a chronic insomniac. You’re nothing but a dream, a test. I’m just dealing with a lot of emotions and stress, and this is all a coping mechanism…”

“A test?” he asked distantly.

“A test to see if I’m really ready to get married.”

When she heard him hum, he was a lot closer than she expected, and had already felt the heat radiating off his chest on her back before he’d even made a noise. Turning around, she was met with a dark pair of eyes, a gaze so intense she felt like her feet were suddenly cemented to the floor.

His shirt was sticking to his chest, leaving nothing to the imagination, and the fringe at the top of his head was as messy as her ragged breaths.

“If I’m just a dream, how can I do this?”

She didn’t stop him when he tilted his head, nor when his warm lips met hers with a gentle fire. Passionately, and slowly, they moved against hers, until the tingling sensation it sent through her made it impossible for her to refrain. And so, she kissed him back.

Nothing like what she’d ever felt with anyone else, something almost too good to be true. Like first kiss, hesitant and new, but with an unrealistic perfection. It shouldn’t feel this way. Her hand running across his wet chest shouldn’t make her want to pull him only closer. Her hips shouldn’t feel such satisfaction as he squeezed them and pulled them against his.

Her eyes opened, not even having realized she had had them closed right as skin met skin, and when she wasn’t met with a curly bush of brown, but only a slicked back messy fringe of pure perfection, she panicked.

“I… I have to go.” It was barely muttered against his lips, but he’d heard it.

He was unable to say any more, as she had somehow already rushed through the room and down the steps. And as the front door slammed shut with a finality, she had left him. And he continued to spend his night like any other night; all alone.

 Last night had felt like a dream, something that didn’t sedate the terrifying realization she’d had when the dots finally connected. She lay awake all night, her eyes barely blinking as they continued to glare at the red digital numbers on her alarm clock, until she turned it off precisely a minute before it would start blaring.

She had thought about just staying in bed for the rest of the day. She had also thought about calling Mark. But Mark would call her, those were the rules. If he called her, he had cooled off and everything would be fine again. It would all go back to normal, and she would never go to town in the dark again. Not ever did she have to see his face again.

But her plans went out the window to just keep waiting underneath her comfortable sheets, which had made sure her dress was dry by now, when she heard her mum open the front door and invite people in.

A few minutes after she was called to join them for breakfast, and that she shouldn’t have to worry about wearing her pyjamas like she always did.

So, she did the sane thing and got changed into her pyjamas, cleaned her face of all blotches of makeup and headed downstairs.

At the dining table sat a couple who appeared to be around her mother’s age, with greying features, but kind eyes. They seemed vaguely familiar, so she was unsure of whether she had to introduce herself or not. If she somehow did know them, she would look like a fool.

But thankfully, her mother took notice.

“Grab a plate dear, and join us.” She did as was told, as her mother continued to talk about how she met the couple in one of her group couple therapy sessions, ones she and her father still attended regularly.

She’d only gotten to point of introducing them to her when she had already sat down, something she was thankful for, because if she hadn’t been, she would’ve most definitely fallen over.

“These are mister and missus Turner.”

Her heart sank to the bottom of her stomach, as her eyes met the brown orbs of what was most assuredly Alex Turner’s mother.

“-They were just telling me about their son.”

And oh, how she wished she could’ve just closed the book by now.

***

@alexbandguy86​​​ @bettyschwallocksyee​​​ @fookingsummertime​​​​ @juicebox-baby​​​@darksydork7​​​ @edgythought​​​ @ssadderdaze​​​​ @h0twasabi​​​​ @rogerseyeliner​​​​ @zcars777 @toolateformcrtooearlytoleaveemo​ @rosemallowss​​​

Family Matters (Lena Luthor & Daughter!Reader)

Request: Lena’s daughter comes back from the future, but Lena is having trouble accepting that she is her daughter because of her own insecurities regarding family

Fandom: Supergirl

Warnings: /

Word Count: 2279 (holy moly this one got away from me)

Time travel, you come to realize quickly, is a painful and exhausting affair. Just imagine your body, your atoms, your thoughts, restrained by some kind of invisible force, being rendered still while years and a decade of time condensed to a single moment screech past you like a high-speed train through a tunnel. Colours burst behind your eyes and your ears ring with every sound at once, and you feel like you’re dying.

Then, as abruptly as it started, it stops. The noise breaks off so suddenly you wonder if you’ve gone deaf, but then, a familiar woman’s voice rings out: “You really shouldn’t be here!”

It didn’t work.

That’s the first thought that pops into your head. It didn’t work, it was all for nothing, and now you’re going to be in so much trouble. Also, you have the feeling you might faint very soon.

“Mom?” you ask, your voice trembling. You try to blink in the direction of the voice, but the afterimage of whatever it was you saw while traveling seems to have been burned into your retinas, leaving dark blots in your vision.

You hear steps, and the voice is closer this time and softer, the tone less alarmed. “Are you lost, sweetheart? Do you need me to find someone for you?”

“Mom, I’m sorry I used your –“

That’s as far as you get before your knees give out. You barely have time to brace yourself for the impact on the hard, cold, sterile tiles lining the floor. The pain never comes. Steady arms catch you before you reach the ground, holding you secure. You can hear her speak, ask you questions, but you can’t make sense of the words. You feel like you’ll vomit if you open your mouth. You feel her slowly, and gently placing you down on the ground, propping you up onto your side.

Time passes.

You think you can hear her talk again, the words fading in and out of dull static like a radio with a broken antenna: “I’m not hurt…they just appeared out of nowhere…might be concussed…Kara, they keep calling me mom…”

Later, you’re being picked up again, cradled in strong arms, and there’s the howling of wind in your ears. You know this feeling. Kara has taken you out for semi-secret flights more than once, even though your mom didn’t initially approve. Kara, you think, and instinctively burrow deeper into her arms. You’re safe. Mom’s here, Kara is here, and you’re safe.

Then there’s nothing for a long time.

When you wake up, you’re somewhere warm, soft and bright. You blink against the light and sit up cautiously. It doesn’t hurt. You’re still exhausted, you feel like your mind has run a marathon, but other than that you’re okay. As soon as you’ve managed to prop yourself up on your elbows, there’s a gentle but insistent hand on your shoulder pushing you back down.

“Take it easy there, kiddo.”

You grin at the woman, who you’ve instantly recognized as Aunt Alex, and your grin widens when you see the two people behind her: Kara, and your mom.

“I’m fine, Alex” you try to reassure her, only to watch her gape at you in utter confusion. Kara’s and mom’s expressions soon come to mirror hers.

“How do you know my name?” she asks, forehead crinkled.

Oh. So it did work. You really did travel back in time, back to when you weren’t even born yet. Now that you know, it seems obvious to you: They all seem younger, the bags under Kara’s eyes aren’t so deep, and the grey streaks in your mom’s hair are missing.

“Okay, don’t freak out, you guys”, you start, already knowing that they were going to freak out. “But my name is (Y/F/N) Luthor, and I’m from the future, and…” you turn to look at your mom, she’s gone even paler than she already is, and she’s shaking her head almost imperceptibly.

“…and you’re my mom.”

The news drops into the room like a grenade. You can see Kara hide a gasp behind a hand quickly clasped over her mouth; you can see Alex try and fail to school her expression in order to not let on just how surprised she is. But worst of all, you can see your mom’s face turn to stone, cold and unmoving. And it hurts, oh, does it hurt. You’ve never seen her look at you like this before, like you’re some alien thing she doesn’t even recognize. Whenever you’ve looked into her eyes you’ve found nothing but love there, even when you messed up bad, even when she was upset with you, but now…there’s just none of that there. It makes you shrink back into your bed.

“We’re going to have to ask you some more questions and probably do some testing, just to be on the safe side”, Alex tells you. You just nod. You feel so tired all of a sudden, so small and lost in a world that isn’t yours. You close your eyes again and hope this is all a bad dream.

It isn’t, of course. You sit through Aunt Ale- no, just Alex’s tests. They don’t find anything physically wrong with you, and the dizziness and nausea are abating slowly.

“Do you know how to get back?” Alex asks you, the worried crinkle between her brows not having left for a second while she was tending to you. You nod.

“The prototype has a safety net function. It pulls you back into your time automatically if you don’t return in three days. I heard mom…I heard Lena mention it when she showed off her time machine to Kara.”

“(Y/N), you can’t just mess with one of Lena’s inventions, especially if it’s just a prototype. You could get seriously hurt! What if the safety net doesn’t work and you become stuck here?”

“I won’t”, you reply, your voice sure and steady as stone. “Mo- Lena is too smart to forget to add the function. And I wasn’t just messing around with the time machine!” you add as you see Alex get ready to argue. “I have a mission.”

Alex looks aghast. “Who would send a child on a mission to the past?!” she exclaims.

“Myself! I have a message for Lena. It’s really important.”

“Oh, sweetheart”, Alex says in the tone adults reserve for telling children that their pet just died. “I don’t think Lena is…in the right headspace to talk to you.”

You swallow. You know it’s not fair to this Lena, you have no right to her time, but the way she can’t even stand to be in the same room with you…does this mean you were not wanted? Did she hate the idea of you and just force herself to stick around because you were her responsibility? You can feel tears burn in your eyes.

“It’s important though!” you hear yourself whining. You know how childish you must sound, and you cringe a t the thought.

Alex looks at you, contemplating. “Can I just pass the message on for you?”

You shake your head. “It’s personal.”

A deep sigh. Then: “I’ll bring you to her so you can deliver your important message, but I can’t guarantee she’ll want to listen, alright?”

“Thank you, Alex”, you say, fighting the urge to hug her. This is not your Aunt Alex, you have to remind yourself. “Can we pick up spring rolls and curry sauce from the Chinese place on 27th? They’re her favourite, and I think it should…exist already.”

“Okay, kiddo”, Alex says as you’re about to enter L-Corp. “If this goes poorly, I need you to know…Lena doesn’t hate you, and I know the Lena you know as your mom loves you very, very much. She’s just overwhelmed, and to be honest…I think she’s scared.”

“Of me?” you balk.

“Not of you, squirt. I think she’s scared of being a bad parent.”

“She’s not”, you insist.

“I know, kiddo, but our fears aren’t always rational.”

Security lets Alex through without raising a fuss, but you get a lot of curious looks. You wave at Jess at the reception desk before you realize that she doesn’t know you yet, and she’s never secretly passed you cookies when mom wasn’t looking yet.

Jess lets you through anyways. Lena greets Alex with a tired smile, and you try to remind yourself that she doesn’t hate you, she’s just scared, but it’s hard to believe it when you see that smile drop as soon as Lena lays eyes on you.

“Kiddo has something important to tell you”, Alex tells her, “we won’t take up much of your time, but…hear her out, okay? I’m just going to wait outside.”

You watch as Alex leaves the room, and nerves threaten to take you over again. It’s ridiculous, this is your own mom, you shouldn’t be nervous to talk to her!

“I brought you spring rolls”, is all you manage to say.

“I don’t eat fast food”, Lena answers, and her voice sounds practiced, almost robotic. She’s shuffling some documents around on her desk to avoid eye contact with you.

“That’s not true!” You flinch at the volume of your own voice. “You always eat fast food when Kara brings some by your office, and you also don’t complain during game night when all we have is pizza!”

Lena’s fingers stop fidgeting with the paperwork. There’s a moment of complete silence.

“You really are my daughter.” It’s not a question. It sounds like resignation. Your heart sinks into your stomach.

“I’m sorry that’s not what you wanted”, you whisper. Lena whips around so fast you freeze where you stand before you can even turn to leave.

“(Y/N), that’s not…I just…” Another pause. Lena pinches the bridge of her nose.

“The truth is, (Y/N)… I’m terrified.”

“Of me?”

She heaves a sigh, and finally turns to face you. She looks old, older than your mum, even without the grey streaks in her hair and crow’s feet around her eyes.

“Come sit on the sofa with me?”

She doesn’t need to ask twice, you immediately clamber onto the pristine white couch (so that’s what it looked like without the various crayon stains you had made when you were a toddler and your mom had given up on cleaning, opting instead to just cover them with decorative pillows). You’re sitting about as far from one another as is physically possible on this couch, but at least Lena’s acknowledging you, facing you. You’re getting somewhere.

“(Y/N), I don’t know what your mom told- what I will have told you about my parents, but the Luthors were terrible people, and even worse parents. I can’t remember any happy days under their roof, I can’t – I don’t think there was one moment where I wasn’t depressed, or terrified, or ashamed of my mistakes or myself while I was in their care and I’m just so scared that in the end, I turned out no different than they were because I don’t know anything else. And I’m so, so sorry if I was a bad mom to you, if I was ever neglectful or aloof, and you have every right to be mad at me –“

You scoot towards her and hug her. Of course you know who mom’s family are, even if she hadn’t told you, the rest of the world was sure not to let you forget, and even though you didn’t know any details you were aware of how terrible your mother’s childhood had been, so it’s important to you that your mom doesn’t for one second longer think that she’s anything like the people who abused her throughout her childhood and well into adulthood.

“I love you”, you murmur into the embrace. “And you’re nothing like them. You’ve always protected me and no matter how busy you were; you were always there for me when I needed you. And you tell me about your work and show me your newest inventions and you weren’t even angry with me when I spilt a glass of apple juice over your transistor!”

You hear her sniffle as she hugs you tight. Her voice is hoarse when she speaks next: “I was terrified that you’d come to tell me what a horrible parent I was, and how selfish it was of me to decide to have children.”

“You’re the best mom I could have hoped for”, you reassure her. But her words remind you that you are indeed here for a reason.

“Do you want to know why I’m really here?”

She lets go of you with a final squeeze, wiping tears off of her cheeks, carefully leaving her makeup intact.

“Of course. You’re not in trouble in the future, are you?” For the first time since you arrived in this time, she reminds you of your mom. You can’t help but smile widely at the sight.

“No, it’s nothing like that. The government is putting together a team to engineer a cure for cancer once and for all, but you weren’t on the team because you gave up on your cancer research years ago, but you looked so defeated when you talked about it… I just wanted to tell you not to give up, and that you’re going to do lots of great stuff in the future!”

“Cancer research, huh? With all that’s happened, I didn’t think it would be curing cancer I’d become most famous for. But I’m glad. Thank you, sweetheart.”

You beam at her, proudly.

“Can we eat spring rolls now?”

“We certainly can. I’ve actually never had these, where are they from?”

“Oh, you’re going to love them!”

RFA Reacting to MC Growing Up an Orphan

requested: by anonymous

a/n: oof this actually turned out really cute so here ya go lads! enjoy!! if you’d like to buy me a coffee click here

warnings: light alcohol mention, but filled with fluff and comfort and kindness (saeyoungs delves more into abuse and emotions)

-somft mod alex

Jumin

-its a semi drunken night when you tell him, you’d finally gotten Jumin to loosen up after a long workday, and were now on the couch together, Jumin’s head on your chest as you ran your fingers through his hair lazily, letting the alcohol dull your mind as you listen to him rambling about his childhood

-it must have been an offhand comment you made that sparked his attention, making him rise from the comforts of your lap as he stares at you incredulously. you sheepishly tell him your story, and although he’s sensitive with you as to not upset you, he’s horrified to learn that you were constantly neglected in your childhood, growing up without a place you could actually consider a home

-he listens to you, quietly concerned as the alcohol hits him hard, and the next thing he knows he’s passed out on your shoulder.

-when he wakes up he has only a faint recollection of you telling him of your past, but he doesn't bring it up; partially because of a raging headache and partially because he didn't want to upset you, you looking so at peace reading something on your phone, a loving smile forming on your lips as you sense him watching you

-he’s not one to go in full steam ahead (well- he is, but he reAlly wants to be subtle with this) but he tries his best to make living together feel as homey as possible

-he talks to Yoosung, the Professional at all things Family, and realizes that he should tone down the money spending to ensure your comfort and instead use that time to do things together, bond over small dumb things. 

-knows that as much as he would want to go back in time and fix your childhood, give you the love you deserved, find you a home, the past cannot be changed. so instead he opts on building the sense of family between the two of you

-he takes you to ikea (Saeyoungs idea), and the two of you find new furniture, something that fits your tastes as well, to redecorate the penthouse. 

-imagine jumin trying to assemble ikea furniture 

-he gets frustrated with having to do things like a commoner, but bless him he’s trying his best to do it for you, and the way your face lights up whenever the two of you do something “domestic” or “familial” makes it all worth it. it’s a learning curve for him too, and despite his protests he cant help but admit that he was missing a lot from his childhood too but it brings him peace knowing he’ll soon be building a family with you ;^)

-he’s not willing to get rid of the giant aquarium pillars, however he lets you get them some cool aquarium furnishings and plants

-goes grocery shopping with you more often, and overall spends more time with you, even telling chef to take the weekends off from now on, opting to cook together instead, and even though most of the time things end up burnt or tasting weird, all that matters is that the two of you have fun

-everyone thinks he’s lost his mind, including for the RFA, who's in the corner crying because “What happened to our cold emotionless Jumin Why Is He SO Domestic”

-teaches you to waltz 

-the day you make an offhand comment about how you consider him your family, he stops and starts tearing up, pulling you into a tight hug as you confusedly kiss his cheek, only slightly worried about him

Jaehee

-it was one of the first things the two of you really talked about, a kind of bond forming over past trauma and losing a part of your childhood. 

-she’s a very action forward woman, knows that she can’t change the past, but she sure as hell can help you heal from it. 

-she takes you to show you all her favourite sweets from her childhood, and takes you to spots she loved sitting in as a kid, trying to share these experiences with you

-she challenges you to a race to see who can climb to the top of a tree the fastest, and it’s one of the few times you see her truly free, giggling as she watches you struggle up the branches, meeting you with a kiss when you finally reach the top, and with her it feels like nothing else in the world matters, that in that moment the only ones that exist are her and the sunset, making her smile shine, casting an ethereal glow on her face as she caresses your cheek lovingly.

-tries to take more breaks to spend more time with you, building more memories in places that most people deem “kiddie places”

-yes im saying she takes you to SkyZone and/or a ball-pit

-she gets lost in the ball-pit, slowly sinking lower and lower as you have to dramatically rescue her

-diner dates, sharing a milkshake and relaxing together after a long day of work, and although none of it can bring back the past, her devotion to giving you fu childhood related memories lessens the pain, and the memories that you build with her of course will always last forever 

Yoosung

-he’s always so excited about meeting your family, about joining two families and building a new one- with this boy its always about family, so how the hell do you bring up that you dont actually have one?

-when you do finally tell him, he stops in his tracks, trying to process how that could be

-he’s a good listener, bless him, and he listens to your story, how you were mostly in and out of orphanages and foster families and grew up a child of the System. 

-at first he doesn’t know what to do with the information, and feels the deep pangs in his chest when he realizes that you missed out on so many things growing up, things that he took for granted

-you already view him as family, (frankly its hard not too, his general attitude towards you, the constant loving gazes, the way the two of you were always there for each other, mixed with the annoying comments of the RFA on how the two of you are “so married” making it hard not to), but he still sets out to make you feel like his family is yours

-this means he introduces you to his family.

-he knows how nervous you are the day before, and calls ahead without you knowing and tells his family to take it easy and not overwhelm you

-however they still do- overwhelm you with love i mean

-his grandma is immediately sizing you up and telling you to eat more, asking what size sweaters you wear and his dad is making silly jokes at your expense, yoosung holding your hand as him and his dad go back and forth one teasing,  one protecting you. his mum is smiling, holding a wooden spoon as she steps out of the kitchen, calling yoosung to help her with the cooking

-his sisters dote on you, introducing you to their husbands as their children run around in the background screaming in happiness, yelling at you to join them in playing tag, and their gleeful laughs draw you in. stopped by yoosung as you run into him, almost making him drop the mashed potatoes, and the look on your face is priceless, making the whole day worth it

-you get along with his oldest sister spectacularly, and you have your time to joke about yoosung as you ask his grandma for embarrassing stories of yoosung. (you enjoy watching his get increasingly flustered as he tries to hide in the crook of your neck)

-you and his parents have a long chat, ending in them hugging you and telling you just how much they appreciate you and the way you’ve made his son grow. the two of you seem so happy together, perfect even.

-it’s almost one in the morning when the two of you start heading home. as the two of you walk to your car, he colds you close to his side, placing small kisses on your cheek as he watches you smile softly.

- “mc i know, i know that you,, may not have had a family growing up but know that,, know that you always have a family in us, you’re a part of my family now, and you’ll always have us. we’re not going anywhere.”

Seven

separate post [here]

Zen

-he’s a good listener, and listening to you talk about growing up poor and alone breaks his heart

-he can empathize, he had to grow up too fast, but he can’t even begin to imagine what you had to go through

-he’s there for you, always trying to make you feel better, and even though you never had a true family, he always lets you know that you’ll always have a family in him, even though you aren't legally married yet, nothing can stop him from calling you his family

-he’s not one to go all big and grand, he knows that logically you can never get that time back, but that doesnt mean you dont deserve that same childish delight that most people get 

-he’s one to treat you closer than ever, like true family, constantly reminding you that he loves you and protecting you from everything he possibly can, doing everything in his power to make sure that you’re protected from pain

-carnival date!!!!

-he takes you out to the carnival, playing all the booth games with you, making it a competition who can win more (the winner being no one)

-you get your face painted, a cliche green butterfly under your left eye, zen getting a matching red butterfly under his left

he ends up just buying you a large teddy bear, unable to have actually won you one (he’s extremely ashamed of himself but its the thought that counts)

-the two of you go on a carnival food spree, buying a little bit of everything as you walk hand in hand to the ferris wheel, (eating with a view amirite)

-please know that he’ll always do anything in his power to keep you safe and make sure you know you’re loved. you’re his family and, along with the RFA he’s yours.

Toxic

Will's Friend Otis pt 2

Will Lenney Centric

part 1

summary- a look through social media as Will deals with his mental health

warnings- swearing, ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION, my terrible writing, toxic "fans"

Instagram ● @/willneisalpha

[A video of Will on the XO podcast from almost a year ago. He says, "Yeah my flat doesn't allow dog's." And then it shows a more recent clip of him saying, "So I got a dog recently."]

willneisalpha So we gonna brush over this? Also he got Otis really suddenly like no warning or hints? wtf

23 Comments

georgeisdaddy ikr I was sh00k for like 20000 hours

5d • 3 likes • Reply

alexisgaylolzor Does it matter though?

5d • 12 likes • Reply

● @/willsbigwilly

[A series of photos of Will and Otis posted only a few days after the original one. The photo is of Will holding Otis like a baby that was originally posted on his story. It's the same one except zoomed in on Otis' collar. The last photo has a massive circle round part of the tag.]

willsbigwilly does the collar say 'ESA' on it? that means emotional support animal? is Will alright?

Comments

jasmine I hope he's okay :( the idea of him needing an ESA makes me upset

3 hours • 21 likes • Reply

-

It had already been a tense day for Will, with his newest post causing an array of suspicion from his fans, he was on the verge of a panic attack.

He had debated whether to delete the post but that would raise more suspicion. He couldn't do that.

Otis had one hundred percent attention on his owner and, yet, Will didn't calm down.

Will also had several meetings today which meant he had to venture outside and face the busy streets. Despite all her best efforts, Gee couldn't stop Will from leaving the house. These meetings were important, Will could not miss them.

So, although she wasn't surprised that he had one, Gee was horrified to see pictures and videos of Will having a panic attack online.

Fans were already speculating that Will was hiding something, so this really made them worry. Gee noticed some 'fans' were becoming impatient and angry, demanding to know what was going on. Angry tweets and posts were flooding in to not only Will, but Gee and their entire friend group. Otis' "ESA" collar now caused more drama and confusion.

Will spiraled when he got home. Becoming quiet and ignoring everyone. He tried to stay of social media but his Twitter hadn't been this active since his last video blew up.

-

American Idiot @/losermajorwannabe

just saw @/willne having a panic attack????? what the fuck? not a big fan but jeez man leave it for your home 👀

[Video Attachment: The video is zoomed in on Will crying as some random person helps him alongside Otis. The person behind the camera is snickering meaning the camera shakes bit it's still clearly Will.]

replying to @/losermajorwannabe

Sub 2 WillNE @/memetimez

How about you stop being so fucking disrespectful and take down this post? If Will wanted to talk about it he would've? ???

replying to @/losermajorwannabe

Lucy Stans Dan @/lucylastname

He could've told us? Is that why he suddenly got Otis? Is that why he's been acting off? SO! MANY! QUESTIONS!

-

"Hey Will we still up for filming today?" Alex's chirpy voice beamed loudly as he walked into Will's bedroom with Otis bounding in behind him.

Will rolled over to look at Alex and felt an ice cold dread travel down his spine. "Sorry, mate, I'm just not feeling it today?" His voice came out in a questioning tone.

"Wanna talk about it?" Alex asked and Otis jumped on the bed and wondered over to Will to nudge him up.

Will sighed as Alex sat at the edge of his bed.

"I dunno why! I've tried getting up, made my bed, cleaned up shit that was left out everywhere, fed Otis. And- for some fucking reason- everything feels wrong and I'm so tired and the idea of staying locked in my room forever seems so appealing!" It was true. Will did everything as normal, even posted some photos on social media but, for whatever reason, Will felt wrong. Tears ran out of Will's eyes as he explained. "I have tried to do shit today, I promise!"

Alex quickly reached foreward and engulfed his friend in a hug.

Alex rested a hand on the back of Will's head pulled him into his neck. As if he was protecting him, maybe looking after him. "Is this about what happened the other day? Because I can assure you that was not your fault."

"It's not that- it's probably adding to it but it's mainly my stupid head and my stupid, shitty thoughts!" Will went to claw at his forehead.

Alex quickly grabbed Will's hand and pulled it down. "None of that mate, c'mon. You've been doing so well." He whispered as Otis licked Will's cheek.

Will sobbed out a "I'm sorry!" as Alex stroked through Will's knotty hair.

"No need to say sorry!" Alex muttered. "How about you have a shower and I'll make a plan on we'll get through this." Will nodded and Alex helped him up and walked him to the shower.

"Do you mind leaving the door unlocked?" Will shot Alex a look.

"What you gonna do?" Will chuckled. "Nonse on me?"

"Oh fuck off!" Alex groaned. "Just in case you need Otis or me or something!" Will suddenly tensed.

"I'm not a baby!" He growled.

Alex raised his hands in defence. "Never said you were, mate! It's just in case!"

Will felt his cheeks warm up and he glanced away, snatching the towel that hang from Alex's hands.

Alex waited until he heard the water start running before he looked at the tweets. Disgust flooded through him. How dare these people, these 'fans' that Will like this? He realised Will had two options at this point.

"You can either tell them or ignore it!" Alex said as Will thew on a hoodie.

"I can't tell them mate!" Will exclaimed. "They will freak out and I don't want that!"

"It's either that or they get pissed off that your keeping secrets." Gee leaned against the doorway with her arms crossed. "It doesn't have to be a big thing? Just a tweet or something?"

"They're gonna pity me." Will groaned head in hands. "How can I deal with that?"

"They're gonna support you no matter what." Alex sighed, squatting down and placing his hands on Will's knees.

"I'm so scared." Will whimpered, curling in on himself. Gee almost cried, he looked so small. She rested a hand on his shoulder.

"It's okay to be scared." She whispered, scared to break or hurt him. "But you'll feel so much better once you tell them."

Will nodded and looked up at them. "I'll make a video." He mumbled, slowly unfolding himself. "Not now. When I feel a tad better."

"Of course." Alex smiled.

They sat in silence for a bit, the only noise being quiet sniffles coming from Will.

"I might," Will's voice was croaky as he spoke. "I might go stay with my parents for a bit? I dunno, might just get away for a bit."

Alex and Gee nodded.

"Of course, love." Alex smiled softly. "Whatever you need to get better."

"Can I have a few minutes please?" Will mumbled, tears welling up in his eyes.

"Of course. We'll be outside." Gee smiled and walked out the room alongside Alex.

Will let out a soft sigh and stood up, reaching for his phone. His shaking hands clicked on his mum's contact and put his phone to his ear.

"Hello dear, you alright?"

"Mum?" Will croaked out before the flood gates opened.

"Oh honey, what's up?"

"I want to come home!" Will cried.

"It's okay, honey, you're okay. Can you tell me why?"

"Everything is so hard! I want to get away!" Will's sobs were becoming more erratic. "I want to go home!"

"Breathe for a second, okay?"

"It's so hard."

"I know dear. Can you breathe in for four seconds? Hold for six. Out for eight. Can you do that?"

"Y- yes."

"You're doing brilliant, sweetheart.. Are you feeling any better?"

"Yes, thank you."

"Alright, darling, how about you come home tomorrow? We'll have a nice day together? And you can go back to your flat whenever you want."

"Okay. I love you." Will said quietly.

"I love you too."

That night Gee helped Will pack, making him pack a week's worth of clothes alongside a pillow because "It's a little reminder of home!". Will also had a mini mental breakdown when he realised that he hadn't pre-filmed videos. 'Mini mental breakdown' was Will setting his equipment up whilst tears streamed down his face and repeated "I'm a fuck up, should've thought about this." over and over again. Gee had to tell Will that he had already made two videos and that she could put together bloopers for him. She then told him to get Otis' energy out to distract him. This meant Will would run around the flat with Otis and throwing toys for Otis to fetch. Gee finished packing for Will and then stared at his empty room. She wiped away her tears before they could fall. She was going to miss him, she couldn't imagine how his closer friends were feeling.

shadowplay ch 2 (alex turner x reader)

Your phone rings, vibrating on the sette while you try and decide what to order for dinner. 

Work had run late and you had really just wanted to finish to jacket tonight and not have to pick up where you left off tomorrow. Not expecting any calls, you hit ignore and decide on chinese. Fried rice and pot stickers sounding heavenly. 

Your phone rings again and you decide to answer just to see who could be calling you. 

It can't be work. And your friends would've texted you. 

"Hello," you answer. If it's some telemarketer you can always hang up. 

"It's Alex." 

"Who?" You don't know anyone named Alex. 

"ugh you pretended to be be my girlfriend that one time," he trails off. 

"Oh yeah. Sorry my brains at like half charge right now."

"Long day at work," Alex asks. 

"Basically," you answer, "my hands are beyond cramped. You know you could've texted. Who calls anymore?"

"If I can't do something face to face," he counters, "callings the next best thing."

"Okay grandpa."

"I just wanted to well. . .ask if you would mind much doing it again." He pauses as if working up the courage to say the words. Taking so long I think he might have hung up. "Pretending to be my girlfriend that is."

"What happened," you can't help but asks, already wondering what kind of situation he got himself into. 

"Arielle sort of told some mutual friends and now. . ."

"Your friends think we're dating."

"Exactly," Alex finishes. 

"You could just come clean. No shame in that." Though the idea of seeing him again alone is worth considering faking a relationship. 

"Yes," he protests, "it's embarrassing. Arielle's getting married and I pretended I have a girlfriend. I 'fink I'd 'ave to live under a rock after that."

"Are you free right now?"

"Why," Alex asks.

"So we can talk things through. Oh and can you pick up food on the way. That'll save me the delivery fee."

"So you'll do it Love," sounding so hopeful you almost say yes on the spot. 

"Well what's in it for me?"

Alex snorts, "I'll grab you dinner or something. Anything you want for saving my bloody arse." 

"Well like I said, you can start by picking up dinner." You give him your address. 

A small flat at the top of some old building with a tiny balcony that was the main attraction. You had been looking at houses but had yet to find something in your range and one that you also wanted. So here you still were. 

You buzz Alex in, looking dapper in blue jeans and a strokes shirt with a different leather jacket on. This time sans glasses. 

"Thank you so much," you tell him as you unpack the food onto your coffee table, but not before making sure he takes off his leather boots with more of a heel than you could walk in. 

"No problem love," Alex says with a smile, "least I could do right." 

"Your learning."

He chuckles, taking a seat next to you on the sette. The great british bake off plays, an old episode. You haven't paid enough attention to know what's going on. 

"So. . ."

"Yes Al," you grin playfully. 

"Would you like to be my fake girlfriend?"

"Not until you explain what's actually going on."

He ducks his head as you start on the fried rice. Shoving forkfuls into your mouth without a care about how you look. Lunch seems to have been ages ago for how hungry you feel now. 

"Like I said over the phone. Arielle told a bunch of our friends and now Jaime invited us over and I said yes. And now I can't just fess up."

"You could though," you note, offering him a fork too. 

"I'd look so bloody pathetic."

"So if we were to do this," you ask carefully, not meeting his eyes, wondering what you were getting yourself into. But as the weird girl in college with only one good friend, you knew a thing or two about being embarrassed. And it sounds amusing. 

Not to mention Alex is beyond hot. 

He sighs, relieved. "It's just be once or twice. Then we break up and no one ever has to be wiser."

You sit up straighter, studying Alex. His well defined bone structure, his expressive brown eyes, and the way he couldn't quite meet your eyes, unsure as you felt about the whole thing. He looked like a proper douche with all the hair gel and habit for wearing sunnies when the sun had gone down, but you'd enjoyed talking to him. 

You still can't imagine it being hard for him to get a girl. And yet here he was. "Alright. I'm game if only because I think this whole thing is ridiculous. They're your friends. Not to mention I'm such a nice person." 

Alex laughs, which has you smiling hard enough that your cheeks hurt and for once not caring that it might look weird, might make your face look fat. 

"Oh thank god I was about ready to book a flight to LA and pretend I had work or something along those lines."

"I wish I could do that whenever I didn't want to deal with my aunt. My cousin got married last summer and now everyones looking at me every time we get together. I'm twenty six. Practically a child bride!"

It makes Alex laugh again. 

"If we're going to do this though," you tell him, opening up a fortune cookie, "we have to like establish details and have our story straight. Like I still don't know what you do. That'll raise eyebrows."

"True enough," Alex acknowledges. "I can already tell you'll be the smart one in this relationship."

You snort. "Tell that to my maths teacher."

"I was thinking, we've only been seeing each other for a weeks. I've flying back and forth quite a bit. It adds up," he states casually, like people just flew back and forth from one home to another all the time. "Haven't told anyone because we we seeing where this was going."

"Makes sense. So where did we meet? Musicians are supposed to be creative aren't they?"

"Are you really going to make me come up with everything by myself love?"

You roll your eyes, "I really should stop getting take out. It's bad for the planet but I'm so out of it after work."

"How about you tailored some clothes I needed fixin'," he suggests with a dangerously flirty grin. 

"That's so unprofessional Al," you protest, "I'd get into so much trouble for something like that."

"Which is exactly what you said when I asked you out," he continues, looking gleeful as the whole scenario plays out in his head, "but I was persistent. And said I'd never be a customer again if you'd give me a chance."

"And you pouted so much I just couldn't say not to that face," you add with a giggle. "I work at Hargreeves by the way. Mostly suiting through there are quite a few dressmakers there too."

"I have a little band called the Arctic Monkeys," Alex offers, watching you carefully. 

You shrug, "never heard of them."

"The last shadow puppets too," he adds, still studying your reaction carefully.

"You any good?"

"We're signed love so I 'fink we're doing all right."

"I don't think you're being a reliable source Al," you note, googling Arctic Monkeys instead. "much too humble."

"I'd sound like a twat otherwise."

Your eyes widen at the number of results and articles right off the bat. "doing all right my arse! You're bloody famous!"

"Only a little," Alex protests, running a hand through his hair, pink dusting his cheeks. 

You tell him about going to trade school and your apprenticeship  "Something right out of the devil wears prada! Kept pricking my fingers so badly!" Your friend Sam who does dresswear and complains about how, "everyone wants the same boring sillouttes! Can you believe dropping ten thousand pounds on a dress you could get at Harrods!" 

He tells you about growing up in Sheffield, about his band mates and old friends who have all gotten together or married by now, about his love for the strokes and Miles Kane. 

Alex talks about moving to New York for a girl, about moving to Los Angeles for a different girl. "I guess I'm a romantic at heart," he confesses. 

You blab about wanting to work for an Atilier like Valentino and how you still feel weird about spending money on things like a Chanel bag though you can justify it. About devouring magazines while your mum shopped. 

It had been that initial love for fashion and your grandmothers own seamstress skills that had led your down the path you'd taken. "Poshmark is bad for the environment and the clothes don't even hold up," you ranted. 

Old clothes done by hand had lasted much longer and there was something about making things. "It was always just fun to design something and then see it come together through I nicked myself a lot and my mum made sure I finished my assignments before spending hours in my room." 

Alex asks you about your taste in music which is, "hasn't really changed since college I mean Britney spears still slaps and who doesn't love the spice girls." 

Your shamelessness has him laughing again."I mean your not wrong about the spice girls love."

It's past ten when he finally makes to leave. "So next week at Jaime's," Alex asks once more, worried you might have changed your mind. 

"Yes. Text me the details. Or I guess call if that's more comfortable for you." 

He smiles, resting against the doorway, looking down at you with his soft brown eyes. "Can I kiss you? For practice I mean. . .they'll be expecting us too. . ." 

If you let him go on, it might take two years for him to get to the point and you've already set boundaries. Hand holding, hugging, all the typical couple stuff except for sitting in his lap. 

That was too much for you. A kiss here and there for believability but obviously you wouldn't be making out in public. 

Or at least, if this was real you wouldn’t go overboard in public so there was no reason to with him. 

So you kiss him on his lips, light and quick, just a goodbye kiss. And send him off.

I stopped taking my birth control pills, and I’m not telling my boyfriend

I guess I just really needed to write this down, to sort out my thoughts and to maybe justify my actions in my own sick way even though I know what I’m doing is so wrong. To clarify, I haven’t taken my pills in two months, I’m currently on my second period. Also, I’m 21, I don’t know if that makes it better or worse, probably neither.

To start off with, I scoured the internet trying to find someone with the same or at least relatively same story as me, so I could try connect with someone on the same level, and maybe it would stick through my thick skull that I should start taking my pills again as soon as my period is over so I don’t run the risk of pregnancy for the third month in a row. I know what you’re probably thinking, “she has no idea what it’s actually like to raise a child” or maybe “she’s so young, and wasting her youth” or more possibly, “what a selfish bitch, conning her boyfriend like that” the last one is probably the only one I agree with.

Firstly, I know exactly what it’s like to still be awake at 4am with a teething child, on the brink of passing out of exhaustion, only to have another child wake up screaming from a nightmare, causing the other kids to wake up and having to put down the teething child screaming and running over to soothe one child while another asks you to get a cup of water for them because they’re too afraid to go in the kitchen at night. Trust me, I could run a day-care centre by myself, I practically already did. I know all of that doesn’t mean it’s okay to trick my boyfriend into thinking we’re having safe sex, but trust me, I’m getting there.

Having all this experience with kids, I think most people declare war on their uterus and faithfully vow to not have a single child until well into their 30s, however it did the complete opposite for me. One time, my brother accidently called me mum, and I cried tears of happiness after putting him back to bed. I might have been 15 at the time, and honestly since then I’ve been obsessed over the idea of having my own little humans. The joy when they take their first steps, when their babbles slowly turn into actual fathomable words, the night you realise it’s been a week since they asked you to tuck them into bed, when you pick them up out of the cot and they see your face they have the biggest smile. All these little (big) things make me so desperate to have my own children, to experience it all from a mother’s point of view.

I knew even before I was sexually active taking birth control would be a challenge for me, so I did the right thing and got the implanon. They can last up to 3 years, so naturally I opted for the longest possible option. However, after just one year, I had it taken out. That whole year I never stopped bleeding and my mood swings were out of this fucking world. To explain it simply, this one time I was washing up some dishes, my then-boyfriend was making himself a sandwich and asked if I wanted him to make me one. I screamed at him, I can’t even remember what I said, but for some reason I was so angry. And then I balled my eyes out crying for a few minutes, then I was hysterically laughing. The poor boy had no idea what to do. I took a 2 month break from birth control on my end, and I told my then-boyfriend, and he completely understood. Once the 2 month break was up, I opted for the shot, which is supposed to be given every 3 months. Shortly after my first shot I became single, and even though the shot had given me loads of trouble, I got the second shot just in case it would eventually work for me. It didn’t.

 The whole time I was on these birth control methods, my insides were screaming. My head was screaming. Give me babies, stop taking these damn hormones and get pregnant! I did a quick google and diagnosed myself as being clucky, and hoped I would soon get over it. It’s been 6 years, and I’m still not over it. I can’t describe the craving of wanting a child this badly. Every pregnant woman I saw, I got upset that I was not. Every family I saw, even on a clearly bad day, I was jealous of. Every friend or relative that had children I tried to avoid because it made me sad I didn’t have what they had. This wasn’t just an every now and then thing, it’s almost every single day. Forcing myself to take those birth controls was torture to me, it just felt so wrong, but I knew I had to do it. My past relationships are what you would definitely call dramatic shipwreck after dramatic shipwreck, and sometimes when describing them, I shock even myself.

So, cut to January this year when my current boyfriend and I had started to want to be ‘active’, I told him I wasn’t on any birth control, and that even if I did start taking the pill that day, it would take 2 weeks to be effective. It took me a long time to decide which birth control to take, I definitely didn’t want to be taking the pill, because it gave me too much power every day, and I would have to decide each and every single day to deny myself that desperate need. Clearly, I’ve caved into my selfish desires, hence writing this in the first damn place. But clearly the implanon and the shot simply didn’t want to agree with me, my only options left were the pill or an IUD of some sorts. I decided I really didn’t want a foreign object put in such a private area and it would be an extreme last resort, and so the pills were the only option left.

At first it was relatively easy to take the pills, yes I wanted children, but I was finally in a healthy relationship and I wanted to be young with him and have fun. Then I realised I had fallen in love, in actual love. I’ve never felt this strongly about someone, it creeps me out sometimes, and trying to think of my life without him was just imagining this vast black nothingness. All of this still doesn’t justify what I’ve chosen to do every day for the past 2 months. Our relationship has grown very quickly, we already live together, we share a car, and we help each other out with petrol bills and all that other crappy adult stuff. Heck, he’s actually proposed to me twice! I only turned him down because the first time I was drunk, and I actually got mad that he had proposed at such a bad time. The second time I was hungover, and once again gave him evil eyes. He admitted both times he asked in the heat of the moment, and that he’s actually glad I said no because he hasn’t even gotten a ring, yet alone asked my family or even told his family about his plans.

But anyway, I got side-tracked. Two months ago I stopped taking my pills, it wasn’t even a conscious decision, and I didn’t even plan it. One morning I just popped the pill into the bin instead of my mouth. Then another day went by, and another, and another, and suddenly I’m on my period. My breasts shrunk a bit, I got a touch of acne, but yet I still didn’t take up the pills again. I downloaded a period tracking app, trusty Clue, logged into it whenever we had sex, keeping tabs on when I was likely to ovulate. And here I am, once again on my period. The second month of being deceitful, and I still don’t know how I fully feel about it.

Yes, I know it’s wrong. Even though we have spoken about raising a family and getting married and building a house, we even talk about what our kids’ names will be, and how we will raise them and what we’ll feed them, it’s still wrong. I’m essentially lying to him every single day I don’t take those stupid pills. I do feel bad for lying, trust me I feel the guilt and the awkward moments the pills are randomly brought into conversation. I also feel as if we would be okay if I did end up pregnant, just typing that feels crazy. We have a rough plan for the next few years, and kids are a few years in the future, and it makes me happy that he even wants kids and that we talk about it at least once a week. I have a vague feeling he wants kids sooner, but he���s scared to admit it not only to me but to himself, and scared of what his family would think of us. Or maybe that’s just me being hopeful and looking far too deeply into things. And I know I might not be as perfect of a mother as I think I might be, but I’m still hopeful that I’d be great, it’s probably one of the only things I’m sure of.

So now, nearing the end, I’m forced to make a conscious decision. I can’t hide behind the false sense of not being fully aware of what I’m doing anymore, because clearly I am. And yet I know I won’t start taking those pills again. I simply don’t want to, and I can’t bring myself to go through the sadness of taking them every day. I know I won’t get pregnant instantly, clearly, otherwise I wouldn’t be wearing a pad and hunching over in agony over cramps. It might take a year, it might be next month, who knows. All I know is that the agony has subsided, but the guilt is rising. I know what the right thing to do is, yet I’m doing the opposite, but I also still think I’m a decent person. Knowingly doing something that is obviously wrong and deceitful may say a lot about someone, namely myself, however I don’t think it completely defines me as a person. For example, people still eat meat, even though they know that animal has been murdered for their pleasure. That doesn’t mean I’m a better person than a meat eater, more I’m knowingly doing something that is wrong, and I don’t have a logical or reasonable answer for why I’m doing it, yet I believe I’m still a good person.

At least now I’m being honest with myself, and maybe one day I’ll own up to my selfish actions. I don’t know what the future holds, part of me hopes it’ll take a few months to get pregnant, another part hopes I’ll start taking the pills again, even if it’s only every second month. In the end, I hope that in a few years I’m still with Alex, and that he still loves me as much as I love him, and maybe we’ll have a house together and I’ll have a full time job being able to support myself. And if I’m the luckiest person in the whole world, we’d have a child together.

if you think their third anniversary would pass without me destroying you with canon timeline then ... you were a mistaken. 

“I met you and you changed everything.”

The wind is picking up and it's probably going to rain any second now but Robert doesn't care.

He's practically frozen on the spot, won't move until he wants to, but he's in charge of that decision. He gets to be in control of that.

The stone is chipping on her grave and it makes something drop inside Robert's chest. It's like she's being dragged even further away from him, like the memory he had is being destroyed in front of his very eyes.

"You're probably wondering why I'm here." He says, shuffles towards the headstone a little more and shudders at the cold air. He's been sitting here since six in the morning, because he'd woken up and felt utterly miserable and alone for good reason.

Aaron wasn't in his arms.

"It's - it's a special day." He says, a ghost of a smile on his face which suddenly disappeared. "I kissed Aaron three whole years ago."

I kissed him, I slept with him, I cared for him, I loved him, I had him, I lost him.

Over and over again, his mind screams at him.

Robert imagined this year, first year married, first year in their new home. He was planning on reliving the story, seeing how long it took Aaron to guess.

"And he changed everything didn't he mum?" Just saying her name makes it suddenly hard to breathe, because he's a little boy with a crush and his mum is listening tentatively and making out that it's the best thing in the world for him. "He made me the happiest I have ever ever been."

The wind hits his chest, ripples through him and he bows his head.

"And I lost him." He says, turns towards his father's grave. "He must hate me, but you don't do ya? You understand me."

Robert brings his knees up towards his chest and sighs. "He doesn't understand me anymore." And it guts him. "He doesn't even know what today means."

Somehow he manages to drift off into this heavy sleep and when he wakes again, someone is pushing at his shoulder.

"Mum?" He says drowsily, gets a squeeze on the shoulder again and realises that it's Vic. Of course it's Vic.

::

She takes him back to hers, keeps banging on about how cold he is in the middle of the street.

"He was freezing himself to death!" She exaggerates as Adam looks at him as if he cares. His face is frowning, filled with a unassuming gentleness that Robert doesn't want nor deserve.

"You alright?" Adam's asking and Robert raises his head and sees the worst possible thing.

Aaron's walking with him, with the doctor. They're coming out of the cafe and waving goodbye to Liv as she gets the bus to school.

He's smiling, he's jumping up and down a bit because of the cold but -

He's smiling.

For a second, Aaron turns towards them all standing so close and he smiles before he clears his throat and motions to Alex that they should get back inside.

Robert bites at his lip hard and walks into the cottage, thinks of Aaron kissing him, over and over again and hates himself.

::

He wasn't messing Aaron around then.

He just wanted him, that was it.

He wanted him and he wasn't alone in the feeling.

Aaron wanted to fuck him in that van.

It makes Robert smirk a little as he curls up in bed.

::

It's probably about three when he thinks about getting up again. He's wasted the day mopping in bed over an anniversary which means fuck all to him anymore.

So he's getting himself together.

Only,

He hears the door being clicked open and Adam and Aaron pile in, huffing and grunting because they always make out like they wrestle lions whenever they've come back from the scrapyard.

He hears them talking about nothing and something and then nothing again and then he hears his name.

"Yeah, Vic said he was just by the grave. His mum's." Adam says, so loud, so fucking booming that it nearly vibrates the carpet in Robert's room.

"It's not her anniversary." Aaron says, quieter, like he's deep in thought and then Adam's asking him if it has anything to do with them and -

Apparently Aaron doesn't have a clue.

It's weird, how one thing can make all the other things hurt a million times more.

But the fact that Aaron hasn't got a clue or is trying to deny it ever happened, makes Robert crumble.

And soon he's flying out the door and hearing Adam call for him to stop.

::

He's a nutter. That's why he's sitting in his car, engine running and eyes straight ahead.

No one was there, at the layby and it felt oddly comforting for him to know that no one else in the world knew how special the spot really was.

His eyes flicker a little as he thinks about how mad he sounds, how three years ago he had a dream about the surly mechanic and honestly, truly, thought that a fumble at a layby would be enough to satisfy the need. He'd been a fool, he'd been absolutely mad to think that when he pulled away it would be the last time he'd ever be so close to Aaron again.

The sound of phone vibrating on the seat next to him makes something swell inside his chest and he's thinking about how lonely he is despite the sound raging on.

It's Vic, he says, she wants him to go to the doctors and check himself out. She thinks he's going mad and he probably is because Aaron's better now and he isn't.

Aaron gets to be better, gets the doctor and the house and the sister who doesn't think he's a liability and -

He'll stay where he is, he'll be here until the sun sets and the day isn't his and Aaron's anymore and he looks even more like just some random who's got a dodgy tyre and has to park on the side of the road.

Only, he doesn't get the chance.

His phone keeps vibrating and it's incessant, won't give in despite how loud Robert plays the radio.

And then there's this palm at the window and a ragged breath and Aaron's standing there with his tears in his eyes.

It's raining, Robert realises and Aaron's telling him to open the door.

He doesn't understand, can't comprehend the nature of Aaron's panic and suddenly doesn't want to.

But he opens the door, watches Aaron almost jump into the passenger seat and flick off the engine.

It startles Robert, makes his heart jump and then Aaron's breath is returning back to normal.

There's water falling from the curls of his hair and he looks like someone's just told him that someone's died and -

Oh.

"Vic was hysterical." Robert hears Aaron say, shaking as he speaks. "She - she didn't know where you'd gone and - she thought you'd given up."

Because yeah, he's been feeling nothing for a long while and she somehow picked up on it.

"She thought you'd -"

And Robert realises that 'she' is in replacement of 'I' and it explains the state of the younger man.

"You thought I'd tried to top myself?" Robert says, blurts it out and watches Aaron wince.

For the longest time Aaron doesn't say anything, he's just sitting there with his head in his hands and trying not to cry and then he shrugs.

"It's how I tried." And Robert's heard the stories, faces pressed against chests, tears falling over cheeks, hands soft and loving as the dark pours in.

Robert doesn't know what to say. "I wasn't trying to do that." He says, watches the rain trickle down the window. "I wouldn't do that to Vic." To You.

Aaron just stares at him and Robert's eyes flicker. "What?" He's asking.

"The way you're speaking, it's - it's like you thought about it before and - decided against it." Aaron shakes his head, and a hand falls over Robert's. "Rob." He says and then his phone is ringing.

And Robert looks.

It makes him hurt, everywhere.

"You should get that." Robert tells him. "I'm fine. Just wanted to be alone."

Alone, it's the last thing he wants to be.

"You hate being alone." Aaron says, tears in his eyes.

"Maybe before." Robert bites his lip, "But it's okay now."

"It's not." Aaron snaps, and Robert just stares at him and blinks slowly. "You have to look after yourself."

"How did you know where to find me?" He says, and Aaron's whole face softens stubbornly. Almost like he can't help it.

"Where else would you be today?" Aaron says, and Robert thinks he could catch the tear that falls down his face if he wants to.

He relents.

Because at least Aaron knows.

He knows what today is.

"You remembered?" And his voice cracks embarrassingly.

Aaron nods, nose crinkled. "I couldn't forget it even if I wanted to." He says, shaking his head and then he's leaning against the chair and Robert can see him reminiscing.

"Your hair was longer then." Aaron says, smiles. "I liked it like that."

Robert doesn't say anything, just stares at Aaron. "You don't have to do this." Be here, be nice.

" - and you had that leather jacket on." Aaron laughs, like he's ignoring Robert's words. "I remember." He whispers.

Robert sighs heavily, gives into the game. "You would have fucked me in Cain's van. I remember that." He says and for just a second, it's easy.

Aaron blushes and then rolls his eyes. "Didn't have to though did I? Someone did all the running."

And Robert's eyes flicker at the memory of going to the garage and feeling so grateful that Aaron hadn't left yet.

He was a prick for not knowing that it all was this massive sign.

This 'You're going to be fall in love with him you know?' sign.

"And I'd do it all again." It slips out and Aaron's face falls a little. "Sorry." Robert tries to clamber it all back and fails.

"It's okay." Aaron says and Robert tells him it isn't, he says he should go, be happy, he with Alex and it sounds bitter on his tongue but he doesn't mind the taste of it makes Aaron happier. "Rob." He says, irritated all of a sudden and Robert notices how close they are, how Aaron's got his hands on his jacket and is tugging hard.

It makes Robert's mouth fall open.

"I hate when you're like this." Aaron hisses, looks so sorry and Robert doesn't know what to say.

"I'd do it all again." Robert says, more confident this time and Aaron is still just as close. "Because I got you in the end, I had you." He says and it's all too much, makes him push out the car and then -

Strong hands pull him back and then he's turning around and Aaron's kissing him.

He's kissing him for the first time in months and months and months and -

Robert can't help but kiss him back in the comfort of his car and the rain falling and in their spot three whole years later. It’s a soft rare bliss.

The guilt is smeared across Aaron's face instantly and Robert just has to accept it doesn't he?

"We shouldn't have done that." Aaron whispers, lips still against Robert's and he won't make him feel guilty for any of it.

Robert just nods and then Aaron's pulling him into this crushing hug and it makes Robert wince.

"It'll always be too much with you." Aaron says and Robert gets it, too much love, to much desire, too much -

And Robert watches him get out of the car slowly, "Happy anniversary then." He says, pictures what it could have been like and Aaron looks at him like he's doing the exact same thing.

"Happy anniversary." Aaron looks like he's being gutted or something and Robert's eyes water. "Please look after yourself." Aaron pleads and Robert can't look at him, just nods and agrees for Aaron's sake more than anything else.

And then he drives away alone, just like he did that day, watches Aaron stand there as he revs and he's back to trying to forget the feeling Aaron's lips on his.

Knows that he won't ever be able to.

This is based on this headcanon that is probably better written than this but??? I kinda wanted to expand on it properly so !!! lmk if you enjoy it/want more of it

basically neil & andrew keep encountering eachother and there’s definitely some kind of soulmate forces at work or smth idk 

Being on the run wasn’t something that usually left Nathaniel with the time to look out for the little things that didn’t seem quite right. So caught up in looking for familiar faces with significance that it wasn’t really much of a surprise that he’d managed to gloss over a boy who looked no older than he did, with equally as sharp edges, standing in front of him and confronting him like he’d known him his whole life.

“I’ve seen you before,” The boy says, and they’re outside of the school gate, where Nathaniel can feel the gaze of his mother on his back. It’s as safe and grounding as it is terrifying. If Mary heard that comment, she’d choke any vague resemblance to himself out of Nathaniel. At least he wouldn’t look like Nathan anymore.

“That’s impossible,” Nathaniel’s saying back, forged German accent heavy as he carefully keeps up his persona, Kaleb, who had supposedly just recently moved to America from Germany after his mother was given a job opportunity.

“Why? Because when you were in Ohio you were blonde? Or because when you were in California you had brown eyes and now they’re blue? I’m not an idiot,” And Nathaniel can feel his stomach clenching – his throat blocking up with the desperate need to run – can feel the panic of a hand on his shoulder and the ease that rushes over him when it’s his mother’s voice which follows.

“Kaleb, what are you waiting for? We need to leave,” She’s reminding him, and Nathaniel knows she’s dropped her accent on purpose. She knows their characters are broken as much as he does. He knows he’ll suffer for it, and that he’ll be gone by morning. We need to leave carries far more weight than this nameless boy could surely even imagine.

“I’ll see you around,” Nathaniel doesn’t need to look to know he didn’t imagine the smug tone in the boy’s voice – especially how it clenches itself around his throat and feels a lot like choking.

After the bruise of his mothers warning clears up, it’s easy for Nathaniel to forget all about it. With his eye out for so many people, a boy as young as him seems pretty low on his radar. Seems impossible to even waste a second thinking about.

Until he’s sat in a classroom in Brooklyn, and a pen bounces off the back of his head.

“I told you I’d see you around,” The voice says mockingly, and Nathaniel turns around and suddenly feels the need to leave as soon as he possibly can. “Hey, hey, now. No need to get all flighty.”

“Who are you?” He’s asking, fight or flight screaming at him for wasting a moment doing neither. Instead he’s focusing on him, eyes scanning his face for something anything he can use against him.

“Andrew.”

“Andrew what?” 

“Right now? Andrew Price.”

“Right now? Implying it changes?”

“Not as often as yours, Kaleb.”

“Noah,” He corrects, “Why would yours change?”

“Oh, Kaleb, Surnames change for all kinds of reasons. Forenames, however, I think you owe me an explanation for.”

“Noah,” He reminds, assuming it won’t make a difference but important either way. There was no point in pretending he didn’t have any idea what he was talking about, and lying about it seemed like his only choice. “My mum’s indecisive.”

“About your name?”

“And where we live, and who she is. Calls it wanderlust.”

“Paranoid looked more accurate to me.”

Nathaniel’s about to say something – but the teacher’s calling for his attention. And he misses it the first time, thanks to the unfamiliarity of his own name, but eventually turns around to mutter a sorry.

Andrew leaves him alone for the rest of the lesson, but stands over his desk afterwards. Lunch was next and while he’d normally spend it alone or with some superficial friends he’d made just to look his part, Andrew seemed intent on sticking with him. And taking him somewhere private, apparently, as he leads him up to the roof. 

Nathaniel knows he shouldn’t trust himself with this boy who seemed to recognise him far too easily given how much effort he goes through to change himself. But there’s something about him which feels unmoving, safe.

“Alright, time to cut the shit,” Andrew says the second the door is shut behind them, and Nathaniel feels his breathing stop with it. It feels too much like an accusation and the start of something Nathaniel is absolutely not prepared for at this moment. “I know who you are,” He continues, and Nathaniel can hardly breathe. “Why the fuck do you keep following me?” Ah. No. Not quite. 

But it still feels terrifying. If some kid can remember him well enough to need to confront him about it, then what are the odds that other people can too?

“I thought- I thought you were following me. I’ve only seen you here and—back whenever,” And he feels numb, “You’re the one who said you saw me before then. I don’t even know who you are.”

Apparently that was a disappointing answer for Andrew—who just rolls his eyes, sighs and mutters whatever. Or maybe he just didn’t believe him. 

“What was your first name?” Andrew’s asking, and Nathaniel hates the question with the way it’s worded to fit his lies. He’s not asking what his real name is, because as far as Andrew is aware, that is, at this moment, Noah. He’s asking for his first name.

“Jack,” He says, effortless. “Why does your last name keep changing and why do you keep moving?”

“Gotta adjust to my foster parents of the week somehow, haven’t I? Names and locations are just the trivial parts.” Which—actually makes sense. Maybe Nathaniel should steal that as a future persona. Andrew Price. He likes the way the name sounds, but not so much the risk attached to it. If he’s run into him this many times, then if he were to do that then, then explaining that to him would be near impossible. “What’s the truth about your mother?”

“Witness protection, but don’t ask me why. She can’t even tell me.”

“Witness protection wouldn’t move you this often.”

“High profile.” He tries, but if Andrew can work out that much then—

“What did she witness? The president committing a murder?”

“My turn,” Nathaniel interrupts, trying to deter this. “How many times have you seen me until now?”

“Seven. Or eight. Depends if you changed your hair-colour while in New Orleans.” 

“I did,” He admits, and that feels a little haunting. Ohio, Brooklyn, California and New Orleans twice. That makes five, but when have the other three times been?

“Even someone as stupid as you wouldn’t change that much. I get the feeling they’re not the only people you’ve been, either.”

“Nineteen,” Nathaniel says, and it’s a truth after a truth. He isn’t sure when he stopped lying to Andrew, but he feels it somewhere between the clench of a lie and the warmth of trust. “I’ve been nineteen people including Noah.” 

The bell rings to signal the end of lunch and Nathaniel disappears with a warning into the crowd of people as he leaves. He doesn’t see him again until their names are Andrew Spear and Alex McClean, Twenty. California. Don’t approach me next time, was a warning that they both understood perfectly. It’s something that Nathaniel appreciates when Andrew catches his eyes across the café and something Andrew very clearly resents as Nathaniel catches him glancing over every other second.

There are no more sightings until after Mary gets lost to his father’s hand and Nathaniel becomes Neil Josten, identity twenty-two. Milport. There’s only one identity between the two and Neil wonders if he and Mary had waited around for too long between them. A year was a long time to stay anywhere for someone on the run. 

He knows the second his coach says anything about Wymack what it means, though, and Nathaniel feels the swing of a racquet long before the shock of who caused it. 

Andrew Minyard. Seventh name. Fox.                                     

For all Neil had been following Kevin and Riko – always making sure they kept their distance, keeping note of everything they did through his binder—he had never expected to have to meet either one of them again. Or at least, thought that until the day Andrew Minyard signed to the foxes and Neil became well aware that it was only a matter of time before he would encounter Kevin again – and here they were, face to face and far too close for comfort. 

Andrew’s grin looks far too out of place after their last encounter, almost two years ago. And Neil wants it gone. 

“Neil Josten,” Andrew says, tone upbeat in a way it wasn’t before, “Or should I say, Noah, as you were so intent on me using that one. Will you disappear tomorrow now that I’ve said hello? That seems to be your way of working.” 

“I’m not signing, if that’s what you’re asking.” 

“But we came all this way to get you,” Andrew’s grin doesn’t fault, regardless of the mocking tone in his voice. “And she’s not here to stop you, is she? Miss—witness protection, was it? What exactly do you have to lose, Kaleb? –Noah? Or was it Neil? It’s so easy to lose track.”

Sweet Pea (10/34)

Summary: A nickname that goes bitter in your mouth. Cries for help that no one listens to. Gentle hands that make you quake on the ground you’re standing on. When Phil first met Nico, he thought he was a gift from the heavens. But behind the mask lies something daunting, something unnerving, that Phil never foresaw. Through his journey, he finds solace in Dan, the regular at his workplace, who seems to be the only one who sees through Nico’s mask to the darkness underneath. Warnings: Abusive relationship, violence A/N: Hello friends! Thanks for coming back for another chapter of Sweet Pea! I’ve been pressured into hosting a meetup for this fic called Knock Out Nico, so if you want to participate, you can look at that here lmao. The song at the beginning is called Little Do You Know by Alex & Sierra. Thank you to @littlelionsloves and @snowbunnylester for betaing this for me (: Previous | Masterlist

Read it on AO3 Read it on Wattpad

-

Chapter Ten

Little do you know how I’m breaking as you fall asleep. Little do you know I’m still haunted by the memories.

-

It’d been a few days since Phil had gone to Nico’s mum’s house, and Phil couldn’t seem to gain any of his energy back. He was a bit lethargic, as if walking through a dream, and he found it a bit hard to smile as easily as he usually did.

He was just a tad sad, in all honesty. He felt as though he’d completely ruined everything with Nico’s mum. Nico even seemed like he was still mad at him. He was ignoring his texts more often than usual, but when Phil was the one not answering him, he got a bit irritated. He snapped at Phil more often, and when they spent time together, they would be sitting in complete silence, a movie on in the background, and Nico’s phone glued to his hand.

Phil was terrified. He was terrified that he’d messed it up completely, that Nico wanted to leave him. They hardly talked anymore unless they were kissing or having sex. Sure, there were a few good moments where things were good, almost like how they were when they first started dating, but then, in the blink of an eye, everything would change and Nico would become a brick wall that Phil didn’t know how to touch.

He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know what to do. He wanted to be with Nico because he loved him with all of his heart. He would do anything for him, would probably kill so he could be with him, because Nico was the only thing that made Phil feel like he was truly worth anything. Without Nico, Phil was nothing. He was just a pretty face that people liked to look at but didn’t want to be with. If he didn’t have Nico, he knew that he would be unhappy for the rest of his life.

Of course, there was Dan too. But while Dan was someone that made Phil laugh, a constant that Phil knew he could always count on, he wasn’t Nico. Still, whenever Nico wasn’t texting him, Dan was, and that meant the world to Phil. Whenever Nico wasn’t over at Phil’s flat, it was Dan who was over, just like he was over now.

The only complaint Phil had about Dan was that he was too intuitive and in-tune to other people’s emotions. Because he was an actor, he could always tell when someone was wearing a mask and pretending to be okay even if they weren’t. It was instances like this that made Phil majorly regret inviting Dan over to his flat, especially when Dan stared at him with a contemplative expression on his face, one that made Phil’s stomach sink into the ground. When Dan opened his mouth, Phil resisted the urge to bolt out of the room.

“Alright, what’s wrong, Phil?” Dan asked. His question was completely unjustified. They had literally just been listening to music on Phil’s record player, the sound of Muse filling the room with a lovely melody. Phil had been quiet, laying on the couch with his eyes half-closed, just basking in the aura. They’d been like that for about an hour before Dan had finally spoken, his first words something such as this.

Phil even had the audacity to be surprised. How could Dan see right through him? How did he know him so well after only a few months of friendship? It was something Phil wasn’t used to. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Phil answered quietly. He stared at the ceiling, squinting his eyes until he could see little stars swimming across his vision.

Dan sighed and Phil could hear him shuffle a little bit from where he was leaning against the couch on the floor. He didn’t look to see how Dan had moved. “Don’t lie to me, Phil. I can tell that something’s wrong.” When Phil still didn’t answer, Dan spoke in a lighter, more persuasive tone. “You just seem a bit sad now, is all I’m saying. I’m just concerned and I want to help in any way I can.”

Phil pursed his lips and squeezed his eyes shut. The stars were still dancing across his vision. “I don’t think you can,” Phil told him.

“Problems in paradise?” Dan guessed.

Phil shrugged as best as he could while laying down. It probably just made him look a bit twitchy, but he didn’t care. The background music was now just pointless white noise in his ears, irritating him. He suddenly wished for silence. He wished he could just be alone. “Something like that.”

“Wanna share with daddy what’s been going on?”

Phil choked, spluttered, his eyes shooting open wide. He sat up on his elbow and glared down at Dan, who was pretty much cackling on the floor. “The fuck?!” Phil exclaimed, taking the pillow from behind his head and whacking Dan in the face. “I never want to hear you call yourself daddy ever again, alright? Last I heard, you were my friend, not my parent.”

Dan snorted, shaking his head. “That’s not what my shirt says!” he protested, gesturing to his shirt. He was wearing his horrid World’s Best Daddy shirt again and Phil couldn’t help himself from whacking him in the face once more.

“Blocked and unfriended,” Phil told him sternly, laying back against the couch cushions. His eyes found a little black smudge on the ceiling, a shocking contrast against the white. Right at that moment, he related to the little black smudge. He, too, was a source of darkness amidst the light, lost and with no source of safety as far as he could see.

He picked up his phone and checked his messages.

Nothing. No new messages. None from his mum, none from Chandler, and certainly none from Nico. But as he stared at the now-black screen, it lit up once more with a new text, although not from the person who he most wanted to speak to.

Charlie - 8:53pm

Shalom philly! How do ya?

Phil texted back a quick hello and nothing else, not really feeling up for a full conversation. Which ended up being a bit controversial because as soon as he set down his phone, he was opening his mouth to talk.

“I think I messed things up with Nico,” Phil finally admitted, his voice so quiet that he wasn’t even sure if Dan could hear him. Maybe he didn’t want Dan to hear him, anyways. Maybe that was for the best.

Unlucky for him, Dan heard him and even responded to him. Phil wanted to curse himself for even opening his stupidly big mouth. “Why do you think that?”

Maybe because he ignores me half of the time? Phil thought bitterly, but he didn’t say that out loud. Instead, he tried to sugar coat it, spilling the beans about everything that he did completely wrong at Nico’s mum’s house. “I messed up when I visited his mum’s place,” Phil muttered. “Everything went wrong so fast that it nearly gave me whiplash. One moment, we were cuddling in the cab and the next, Nico was informing me that his mum had a cat. A cat. My allergies were acting up the entire rest of the day!”

Dan chuckled and Phil didn’t have to look at him to know that he was probably raising his eyebrows at him. “A cat? Is that all, or is there more to this story?”

“There’s more,” Phil sighed, slightly disappointed in himself for giving up so easily to Dan’s persuasion. “The cat thing happened first. I was actually pretty upset about her owning a cat, but at that point I couldn’t back out. So we went in and I just kinda assumed Nico would introduce me as his boyfriend. Well, he didn’t. I was just his friend apparently.” He rolled his eyes and shook his head in frustration, running a hand through his slightly sweaty fringe.

“Imagine that! Friends! As if we don’t say ‘I love you’ and have sex all the time.” Dan made a gagging noise and Phil kicked him lightly to shut him up. He’d wanted to know, so he had to deal with all of the grimy details. “So then Nico started ignoring me for literally no reason at all. All I was doing was chatting with his brother, Ezra. After Ezra gave me the house tour, he wanted me to go swimming with him, but Nico really didn’t want me to. Eventually I got pulled into the pool and Nico ended up just walking away. When I found him, he refused to speak with me. For the entire night. He didn’t speak with me until we got home!”

“Erm,” Dan started, and Phil hushed him because he wasn’t finished. Dan quieted down like a good boy and Phil was able to continue his rant.

“After dinner, Yvette pulled me into the kitchen and started spouting some bullshit about how I can’t let him ruin me and about how I deserved the best. What kind of mother says that about her own son?! Besides, Nico is wonderful to me so she doesn’t know what she’s talking about.” He went on and on, telling the story as it happened. He told Dan about how when Nico and Phil got back home, Nico told Phil that swimming made him a slut and how he told Phil that he didn’t date sluts. He told Dan about how he had started crying and apologising, which was then followed by a quick exchange of endearments followed by slow sex. He mentioned how Nico had been ignoring him recently and how he was constantly fearing that Nico was going to break up with him now. He didn’t leave out any details, the story spilling out before he could even think to stop it.

The only thing he didn’t mention, was why Nico’s mum had said what she said, unwilling to divulge Nico’s history to another without his permission. It wasn’t Phil’s story to tell.

When he did finally stop talking, Dan had gone quiet. It was such a contrast to the rushed tone of voice Phil had been using only moments before that it set him on edge. What was Dan thinking? Was he thinking of how terrible Phil was? Perhaps how Phil shouldn’t have gone swimming since Nico didn’t want him to? Or maybe about how much of a slut Phil was? He didn’t want to cry anymore, so he gritted his teeth and glared at the splotch of paint on the ceiling again.

“Phil…” Dan said after a moment, and Phil tensed, bracing himself for the disappointment that Dan was no doubt going to be showing him. Dan turned around so he was facing the couch, and Phil felt Dan take one of his hands in his own. “Don’t take this the wrong way, okay? But I’m really concerned about you. Based on what I’ve seen and what you’ve told me, I think you need to be a bit careful.”

“What do you mean?” Phil deadpanned. There was a sick feeling in his gut and he could already tell that he didn’t want to hear any of this. It was like Nico’s mum all over again, like Dan somehow knew about Nico’s father and thought he was going to hit Phil too.

Dan squeezed his hand softly and it would have been nice if Phil wasn’t so tense at the moment. He couldn’t seem to bring himself to relax no matter what he did. “Nico just seems kind of… off, I guess?” Dan said. Phil gave him an unimpressed look because Dan was going to have to do a lot better than that if he wanted to express to Phil what his concerns were. “Isn’t the stuff he’s doing a bit, like, abusive?”

Phil snorted and burrowed himself into the couch, shaking his head. “Abusive? Seriously? God,

Dan, it’s not like he hits me or anything.”

“Not all abuse is physical,” Dan said quietly. Phil couldn’t tell whether he sounded a bit put out or not, so he decided to just ignore the tone and focus on the words. Words that were wrong.

“No way. Nico is great to me. He’s not… not like that.” Even the thought of that word made him feel nauseous. How could anyone think that Nico was abusive when he made Phil the happiest man in existence? It was just ridiculous, and yet Phil found his stomach churning with the need to throw up. “What even made you come up with something like that? Why would you even suggest something like that?”

Dan shrugged, frowning. His eyebrows were furrowed and it wasn’t a great look on him. Phil wanted to tell him to stop, but he didn’t know how to get the words out. “Just think about it. He manipulated you to the point where you were terrified to disobey him, he was hiding your relationship from his mum, and then he withheld affection when you went against his wishes. Those are all pretty big red flags.” Dan paused, searching Phil’s face for any sign of discomfort. When he saw how Phil was pretty much freaking out, his eyes went soft and he rubbed his thumb against the back of Phil’s hand. Phil wanted to tear his hand away, but he couldn’t seem to move in the slightest. “Look, I’m not saying that Nico is abusive in any way. But I just want to make sure that you’re staying safe and that you’re not with someone who has the potential to destroy you.”

“He’s not like that,” Phil said again, more firmly this time.

Even so, his head was spinning, and a migraine was beginning to eat at his brain. His whole body was screaming at him to run and never look back, but he tried to tell himself that Dan didn’t mean it in the way that he was coming across, but was just concerned instead. Phil should have never told Dan what had happened that weekend.

“Okay,” Dan said gently. “Okay. I believe you.”

He didn’t ask any other questions, didn’t grill Phil for details, and Phil was thankful for that. The inquiry was still in the back of his mind though, even when Dan started playing the piano for him, the soft tune making Phil’s ears sing and the tension flow out of his body. He closed his eyes and let himself get lost in it, because Dan was so good that he made Phil able to forget about almost everything.

Except this, apparently.

When Dan went to bed that evening and Phil was tucked comfortably under a blanket on the couch, Phil found himself clicking open a new tab on his laptop. For once, he didn’t think when he typed out a single word, hands shaking over the keyboard.

Abuse.

There were 523,000,000 results and the first one was the definition of the word. Phil skipped over that and clicked on the first link, which was labeled Types of Abuse. Physical abuse was the first thing that popped up, which was expected. There were other tabs on the page labeled Emotional/Verbal Abuse, Sexual Abuse, Financial Abuse, and so on, and Phil took a deep breath.

He began by skimming the physical abuse tab. He wasn’t too worried about it because Nico didn’t hit him or anything, but his brain was still foggy and his stomach was still churning when he read the description.

Physical abuse is any intentional and unwanted contact with you or something close to your body. Sometimes abusive behavior does not cause pain or even leave a bruise, but it’s still unhealthy.

Of course there was the obvious. Punching, scratching, throwing, pushing. Using a knife, gun, or other weapon. Grabbing the face, preventing from leaving, grabbing clothing. Nothing too terrible that screamed at Phil that he was being abused.

The next tab was emotional abuse, the description making Phil much more uncomfortable. He shuffled uncomfortably on the couch, adjusting the blanket, his eyes skimming the words but not really processing it until he reread it a few times.

Emotional abuse includes non-physical behaviors such as threats, insults, constant monitoring or “checking in,” excessive texting, humiliation, intimidation, isolation or stalking.

From just the description, Phil was already shaking his head. Just because Nico texted him all the time definitely didn’t mean that he was abusive. That bit was just plain ridiculous. Nico just wanted to talk to him all the time and there was absolutely nothing wrong with that. He continued reading, squinting his eyes against the brightness of his laptop as if that would help him feel slightly more protected from what he was going to see.

Calling you names and putting you down. Preventing you from seeing or talking with friends and family. Telling you what to do and wear. Damaging your property when they’re angry. Accusing you of cheating and often being jealous of your outside relationships. Using gaslighting techniques to confuse or manipulate you.

Phil felt as though he couldn’t breathe. There was too much, too many things that jumped out at him, and he couldn’t breathe. He didn’t really want to. He took some breaths through his nose and let it out through his mouth to try and calm himself down. It didn’t really help, but it was better than nothing.

Nico wasn’t abusive. He wasn’t. Phil had no doubts about that fact. Just because Nico sometimes called him a whore or accused him of cheating didn’t mean anything. Besides, Nico was just dealing with some of his own demons. He was trying to get over what had happened with his dad and accidentally took it out on Phil sometimes. Phil didn’t blame him for that, and he definitely wasn’t going to leave him when Nico was dealing with his own shit. Phil just didn’t have the heart to do that, and he didn’t want to leave Nico anyway.

Phil loved him.

There was a little bit underneath the bullet points that talked about how emotional abuse was still abuse and how it could cause emotional pain and scarring, and could even make the victim feel worthless or like they weren’t good enough.

Phil slammed the laptop shut and threw it on the floor. It landed with a dull thump, but Phil ignored it. Now, without the light from the computer, Phil was washed in darkness, but he didn’t care. He stared at the wall, his heart pounding, his head spinning.

Nico wasn’t abusive. Dan was wrong. He was wrong.

So why was Phil suddenly questioning everything he thought he knew?

Chapter Eleven

That Woman Over There - Chapter 3

A You Me and Him Fix-it Fic

Rating: Teen, for language

Word count: 2924

Warnings: none

Summary: ~ Set after the birth of Monty, Olivia’s baby ~ A dear friend of Olivia comes to visit for a week, and she disturbs the fragile peace between her, Alex, and John.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2

Chapter 3

They spent a nice morning in, since Olivia was still on her extended pregnancy leave. Connie reveled in their domestic rhythms, and it made her wistful. She missed it. The unhurried affection, the unspoken knowledge of each other’s habits.

After breakfast, they sat around chatting again, but before lunch, Connie was yawning and rubbing her eyes.

“You’re still jetlagged,” Olivia said, picking up Monty from the play seat on the floor “You should have a little nap before lunch.”

“I dunno,” she said. “Then I won’t be able to sleep tonight.”

“I’ll wake you in an hour. Monty’s looking like he needs a nap too,” she said, and kissed his sticky cheek. “It’s been a busy morning.”

She leaned over and poked Monty’s belly. “What up, friend,” she whispered. “We’re nap buddies.” He yawned, then gave her a grin. She looked up at Olivia. “Yeah, I think I could use a sueñito.”

Olivia smiled. “A little sleep, si?” she said.

“Precisamente,” Connie said. Olivia had loved their Spanish lessons back in the day. And she had been a very, very good student.

“Hasta luego,” she said, waving Monty’s hand at her. “Until later, Aunt Connie. Bye bye…” she said softly, then walked out.

She got comfortable on the giant sofa and pulled a woven blanket over herself. The sun warmed her feet, making the burns sting a bit. She tucked them in the blanket.

Aunt Connie, she thought, and closed her eyes. I like the sound of that.

Slow, pulsing pink. 

Her cheeks burned with sunlight. She turned to her side and it was dark again. Singing, soft, and in an unfamiliar cadence, kept her from sinking back into unconsciousness. It was sweet, and vaguely reminded her of late nights in her childhood, when her father sat by her bed after coming back from parts unknown, still smelling of good tobacco and bay rum. He sang to her to let her know he was there, hoping it would sift through to her dreams and comfort her.

She missed her papa. But he had gone to a place she would not follow.

She sniffled, and her closed eyes filled with tears. One of them finally dripped to the batik pillow.

“Ye okay?” John said, voice gentle with concern. She opened an eye. He was sitting on the floor, in front of the coffee table. Her ball of necklaces was now neatly organized on the table by metal type and length. He smiled at her, thrusting his bearded chin at his handiwork. “Brilliant, right?”

“Don’t touch my things,” she said. She leaned forward to grab her necklaces, and clumsily slid off the sofa.

He took her hand before she got a messy fistful and tangled them again. “I’m sorry about this morning. I was trying to be funny, and failed miserably. You’re beautiful. Really,” he said, his brows knitting with sincerity. She yanked her hand away and crawled back onto the sofa.

“I don’t need your approval. Just leave my stuff alone,” she said, turning her back to him. He tried not to stare at her bum, but her jean shorts left little to the imagination. It was a very nice bum. She groaned and threw the blanket over herself, although her legs were still exposed. He wrapped a string of coral beads around his wrist and sat at the end of the sofa. His fingers ghosted over the fading red of the burns.

“You should put more aloe on those,” he said. She kicked at him, but lightly. “Where’d you put the other aloe leaf I gave you?” He went to the kitchen. It was shriveling on the sill of the window facing his back yard.

Interesting.

He peeled it and sat back down beside her. She was still and her breathing was deep, miming sleep.

He smiled. “You know you snore like a ploughman, right?” he said.

She grunted and flipped him off. “Go home, Juan.”

“One what?” he said. She turned to scowl at him, and he held up the slimy leaf. “Do you mind if I…” he pointed at her legs.

She sat up and tried to take the leaf from him, but it slid out of her fingers to the carpet. Her wavy hair stuck up in the back, and it was thoroughly charming. He stared at her a beat too long, and she stuck her tongue out at him.

“You go to bed with women, but I doubt you see them wake up much,” she said. It was petty, but she was irritated. And embarrassed. Did she snore that loud?

“I was married for 13 years. I saw bedhead enough,” he said. “And dealt with morning mouth. And popping back pimples. And the gun-loud sleep farts? Fuck, I’d wake up thinking she finally shot me,” he said.

She snorted and put her hand over her mouth, but refused to laugh outwardly. She knew all about those. Ella had startled her many times with her vegan wind.

He  winked. ”Made you laugh.”

“No you didn’t,” she said. “It was a yawn.”

“Sure,” he said, and picked up the aloe. It was covered with dust bunnies. “Ugh. I’ll get you more.”

“Don’t worry about it-” she said, and out of habit, put her hand over his. He gave her a look that made her walk in front of the window to scrutinize him. He was a misogynist ass. Completely. A mouth-breathing nerd trying too hard to be a dudebro. But still, her stomach did a flip. “Gimme my necklace back. My mom gave it to me.”

He pulled it carefully from around his wrist, where the coral looked like prayer beads. She was loathe to admit they looked good on him.

“It’s coral, right?” he said, holding it up to the light with long, delicate fingers. “Medusa’s blood.”

She leaned against the windowsill. “What?”

“In greek mythology, when Perseus finally succeeded in cutting off Medusa’s head, the blood dripped to the sea and formed red coral.”

She loved mythology, and for a second, she forgot herself and sat by him. “I don’t remember that,” she said. He took her hand and dropped the beads in the cup of her palm, where they clicked and pooled like blood. “My dad used to read mythology to me when I was little. In Spanish, though.”

“I didn’t get to school much when I was wee, so I read a lot. I loved reading about Hercules and Perseus and Odysseus. Big, brawny, brave men.”

“Why not?” she asked.

He patted his back. “The brace made it … difficult for me to do certain things on my own when I was a little, so my mum home schooled me. Later, in high school, I was able to go often enough to graduate. Lucky me,” he said, but a shadow crossed his eyes. She noticed immediately because, ordinarily, they gleamed with good humor.

“Oh,” she said, nodding. “Was it that bad?”

He pooched his lips and rolled his eyes. “A boy need a proper backbone to deal with all the shite the world throws at ‘im,” he said. He used a heavier brogue that wasn’t his own. “You oughtta quit whinging and straighten up, lad. I’m starting to you’re using that contraption as an excuse to linger ‘round yer ma’s skirts.”

He smiled, but it was bitter.

“Fuck,” she said softly. She thought back on last night. After coming back into the house, she was rinsing out her coffee cup and saw movement in his yard. He did a series of stretches, reaching up to the moon, exhaling until his ribcage was visible through his stained t-shirt, then twisting slowly from side to side, hands on his waist.

She hadn’t meant to stare, but she did. There was graceful deliberation to his actions that made her feel herself in a way she had not in months. She rarely saw men who moved like that except dancers, and they were mostly gay. In any case, she knew he wasn’t trying to impress anyone with the movements - he didn’t know he was being watched.

“I wish I was homeschooled,” she said, finally.

“Oi?” he said, distracted.

“Home schooled. I went to a fancy school, but so much for good breeding - the teachers were as vicious as the students,” she said, putting the coral beads around her neck.

“Oh yeah?”

“It was running gag. Whenever I said something, they would pretend they couldn’t understand. They would make a face and say ‘No understando’ or ‘someone get the maid to translate’. Or my dubious favorite, ‘Shakespeare might be too hard for you. You should just stick with Cantinflas,’”she said, and sniffed.”That shit got old the first day, but it went on for years. The fact that my father is a diplomat made it worse.”

“Who is Cantinflas?” he said.

“A really popular Mexican comedian who did a bunch of movies in the 40’s and 50’s. His thing was playing poor country bumpkins, but he turned the trope on its head. He did broke but clever. He was a cultural icon, really.”

“So, not as much an insult as they thought,” he said. “Some kids are assholes. I didn’t grow up anywhere near rich, so… it was all ketosis-breathed gobshites.”

She giggled. “Gobshites,” she said.

“Cockwombles. Numpties,” he said. She started to laugh.

“That’s hilarious,” she said. “Hijos de la gran puta. Pendejos de la vela, toditos se pueden ir al carajo.*”`

“Those sound dirty,” he said. “I recognized puta.”

“You would, bitch,” she said. He gave her a mock hurt look. She winked.

“You’re getting along famously,” Olivia said loudly. “How wonderful.”

Connie jumped up and stuffed her hands in her pockets. “Pfft. He was stalking me while I slept.”

“I was untangling your horrible ball of necklaces,” he said, pointing to the coffee table.

“Did you hear her snoring? She’s like a bear,” Olivia said, giggling.

Connie’s mouth dropped open. “Olivia!”

“My vote’s for ploughman,” John said, scrunching up his nose.

Olivia sat down on the sofa. “When we had sleepovers, I got in the habit of listening to my Discman so I could get some rest,” she said.

“You said you couldn’t sleep without music,” Connie said. “Dirty liar.”

“It wasn’t all a lie. Without music, I couldn’t sleep … with you.”

“You guys suck,” she said, and stomped into the kitchen.

“I love you too,” Olivia yelled after her.

Olivia pointed at the organized jewelry. “Did you really do all that?”

“Yeah. Seeing it was setting my teeth on edge,” he said. He picked up the pearls. “Did you really give her these?”

“Yes. Those are the pearls I was wearing the day we met,” she said.

“How sentimental,” John said in a sibilant falsetto.

“Totally gay,” Olivia said. “Where’s Alex? I fell asleep with Monty and she disappeared.”

“She went to the shops to buy ingredients for dinner. Her famous spag bol.”

“Ooh, yummy,” Olivia said, clapping her hands.

John shrugged. “Don’t know why you can’t just get it out of a can.”

“She makes it with homemade tomato sauce and italian sausage. You can’t get that out of a can.”

He shrugged and worked the pearls like prayer beads. Their smooth coolness was exquisite. He wondered why men didn’t wear them.

“Oh, about tonight. I’ve been meaning to tell you some news.”

“Really. You’re not moving, are you?”

“You wish. Nah. But it’s big. I think you’ll be proud.”

“You’re going to rid of your deep v t-shirt collection?” Olivia said, in fine form. She wished Alex was there to hear it.

“Never,” he said. He resisted the urge to tap a pearl against his teeth.“Her snoring. It’s not that bad, is it?” he said softly.

“Nah. You get used to it.”

“Did you?” he asked. 

She wasn’t expecting the question. “I suppose,” she said. “I didn’t care at the time. And we didn’t do much sleeping anyway.”

John hooted.

“Get your head out of the gutter.”

“But that’s where it lives,” he said.

“We would listen to music, read to each other, and talk for hours and hours. I would help her with her pronunciation, and she would help me with my French and Spanish.”

“She knows French too?” he said.

Olivia smiled. “Her mum’s french. You know, like, Paris French.”

“Insufferable,” John said, but he tilted his head to try and get a glimpse of her in the kitchen.

“She’s got a good heart. She’s one of the warmest people I’ve ever known.”

“And yet I’m freezing my lads off,” he said, making a face.

“Well, she’s angry at you.”

“Why? I heard what you said last night, about her not blaming me individually. What did you mean by that? I didn’t know her from Eve two days ago.”

“Eavesdropper,” she said. Olivia gave the dramatic sigh she always did before a story. He leaned back and crossed his legs.

“A little more than a year ago, her father filed for divorce from her mother after almost 37 years of marriage. She took it really, really hard.”

“But what does that have to do with me?” he said.

“It came as a huge surprise to everyone, including her mum. She thought everything was business as usual. But during the course of the proceedings, certain facts started to come to light that proved that it had been a long time coming, for him.”

John looked lost. Olivia leaned forward and grabbed his wrist.

“He said he was done with the increasingly misandrist tilt of the world he lived in, and declared that he is now part of MGTOW.”

John’s heart began to sink again, as he knew exactly what it stood for. At one point not too long ago, he felt the same way.

“Men going their own way,” he said softly. “Fuck.”

Olivia nodded.

“He exposed aspects of his relationship with his wife with which he was very displeased, and said he was tired to lugging her dead weight, citing her re-occurring depression and substance abuse problem as intolerable. In short, he was convinced he could do better. Furthermore, he brought proof of instances of verbal and emotional abuse due to the substance use before the court, and he nearly got everything. Her mum went from an Upper West Side brownstone to a one-bedroom flat in Flatbush, since she refuses to move in with Connie. She’s deeply humiliated.”

He was afraid to ask the question. As far as he knew, politicians and diplomats didn’t frequent his humble site - it was mostly insecure college guys and bitter divorced men.

“But why me, Olivia?”

“He mentioned your site as the catalyst that helped to make up his mind. ‘Thousands of men speaking the truth to power about women in a safe space, free from judgment.’ He said he felt solidarity. He said you were a saint and a hero for refusing to be a white knight to screeching misandrists.” Olivia rolled her eyes.

“Fuck,” John said again, more vehemently. “So he mentioned Mannism? And my name?”

She nodded. “I got a screaming phone call, since I had already told her about you and Alex. She was hysterical. It took me hours to talk her out of flying over her to castrate you.” Olivia hugged herself. “What she failed to realize is that it put me between a rock and a hard place. You were the father of-” she nodded quickly, “-the damage was done. But honestly, I hated you. Not only for her, but for everything else. For a while.”

“And you kept that to yourself for all this time?” he said, genuinely surprised.

“What could I do? I fucked up, then Alex fucked up and you fucked up...” she pointed at him. “Everything was fucked. And I didn’t have much sympathy left for her at the time.”

Olivia didn’t usually swear like that.

“We didn’t talk until right after the baby was born, and still, it hurt that she wasn’t going to make it to the birth. We promised each other as girls that we would be present at the birth of our first born. But-” she hiccuped, “she said if I insisted you be there, even after what happened with Alex-” she sniffled, and fat tears dripped down her cheeks.

“Damn it, why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because at the time, you were important to Alex, and since Alex was the most important thing in the world to me…”

John stood up slowly. He shook his head. “I didn’t know.”

“Now you do,” Connie said from the doorway, wiping her eyes.

Olivia wept on the sofa, her hands palm up on her knees. Connie ran to her, already crying.

“I’m so sorry,” she said, falling to her knees in front of Olivia and hugging her waist. “I was a selfish, stubborn, unfair, foolish bitch,” she said, and buried her head in Olivia’s chest. Olivia hugged her back, whooping with emotion.

“I missed you,” she said, hiccuping. “I missed you being there…”

Connie’s body trembled. “I didn’t see Monty ... being born …” she clung even harder to Olivia. “Your little baby…”

They wept passionately in each other’s arms. At any other time, their wailing might almost border on comical, but not now.

He knew it was because of him. It was all because of him.

He walked out the back door quietly and let them make it up alone.

Read Chapter 4

*Sons of bitches. Bunch of dumbasses. They can all go to fucking hell.

Season Six Rewrite | Memory Lost

Scott gulped as he entered the high school library. It wasn’t anything new, he’s done this several times after that night of the blue moon. Most times he couldn’t even enter and he’d have to convince his friends to bring out the books so they can study in the courtyard. Lydia stated it was Post-Traumatic Stress, and that it would take a while to feel normal in the area where he died or maybe never. Since the pack had stopped the Beast, saved Mason and bid their farewells to Kira, Scott has been neck deep in his studies. Thanks to a Lydia who put a few words in to her mother, he was able to proceed with the classes he missed. He was grateful of course, he thought after everything that happened he deserved a little bit of normality like catching up with work and school and having to stress about college applications. Speaking of, Lydia had been able to help both Scott and Malia for their applications as well as helping them get caught up and in with their studies. All in all it has been a blissful few months of normality and Scott hopes it lasts. The library like non other was noisy, it had people talking loudly and crashing books and even some stressed whisper yells. Of course even Beacon Hills library wasn’t safe from the abnormal. Most libraries, or at least ones Scott has seen on screen, were quiet and relaxing, and if anyone got too loud the librarian would hush them. Sitting around the table in the centre of the room were his friends, Lydia was laughing at something Malia had said, while Mason and Corey stacked books next to them. Mason, bless him, loved helping the seniors seeing how he was almost as or even smarter than them. “Mason, thank you but you know you don’t have to do things like this for us.” Lydia said smiling up at him. “You should probably help Liam, my mum told him he isn’t doing well either.” Scott sat on the seat on the edge of the table and watched Corey smile and place his hand on the lower back of his partner. “come on, Mase. Good luck studying guys.” Mason reluctantly walked of with his boyfriend. “They’re too sweet,” Scott voiced his thought as he opened up his backpack and got out his notebooks. Lydia agreed and looked at Malia who was tapping her pencil on the book in front of her trying to concentrate on the words. “Where’s Stiles?” Lydia asked Scott. It was a question that she knew the answer to but she asked anyway. Stiles hasn’t been wanting to study with them, he told them he had it in the bag already and was busy concentrating on helping his dad get better. “I don’t know, he didn’t say much when we parted.” Scott shrugged. He didn’t want to admit it but it was obvious there was a small strain in their friendship that was gapping as the days go by. The night at the hospital, it hurt Scott to even look at him in that moment. He couldn’t blame him, his dad was hurt, but the fact that he had gotten physical with him without a care in the world... it hurt Scott more emotionally than physically. Scott had forgiven him, internally but he was still patiently waiting for the words I’m sorry to come out of his mouth in order for Scott to let the massive pained grudge go.  “After last night, after Alex he’s been in to the whole supernatural thing again. – it’s not healthy you know? He’s leaving behind all the milestones we need to complete this year by focusing on the next big bad.” Scott stated worriedly. There was no arguing that he was worried about Stiles. They were all supposed to graduate and go to college together but Scott doesn't see that happening if stiles is avoiding every possible chance of even attending most of his classes. "Even I want to go to classes more than him." Malia mumbled rubbing out an equation she got wrong. Lydia had helped her understand most of AP calculus and written down a page of questions for her to answer. "Then again that could be because I want to get this over with as soon as possible and relax this summer." Scott smiled and Lydia laughed. "Don't we all. I'm having a hard time contemplating whether I want to stay here or go on a road trip to San Francisco." The two shapeshifters looked at Lydia with raised eyebrows. "Why road trip?" Malia asked. "Because? You're coming with me right? I mean why would we stay here and do nothing all summer?" She replied. She had a point, Scott thought. "Maybe,... if we find a way to disable the nemeton to stop it from attracting more supernaturals here. We can't leave the place with no protection." "Argent will be here." He shook his head at Malia. "He's still human. I don't want another corpse here, I don't want anyone to die doing the job I'm supposed to do." "We," Lydia corrected. "You maybe the true alpha Scott but you're not invincible." "Right," Scott muttered before opening his book and getting his highlighter ready. He felt the burning stares of the girls on him but he chose to ignore it. He could tell they knew he didn't believe her when she said that but there was no use fighting it when he knew at the end of the day it's him against what ever the world brought for him next. It's him that gets destroyed but still gets up to finish the job. He doesn't complain though, he may not have signed up for it but it's something he believes is his responsibility. To save everyone and make sure nobody dies is his responsibility. Soon enough Lydia and Malia turned back to their books and began revising, the conversation left behind. Scott enjoyed studying with them. Lydia didn't make it seem like he or Malia were dumb for not knowing something and Malia always found a way to lighten the mood and not make it seem like an overload. Even sitting a few feet from the exact spot he died on three months or so ago, he found comfort whenever Lydia used her soft tone or softly held his hand, like she used to, whenever he thought his head was going to explode. He found peace and a bit of sadness whenever Malia mentioned Kira in a casual way as if she was at home sick or something and not away for God knows how long with the skin walkers. Scott could tell Malia was fond of Kira and that in the past year they had formed a friendship too good for the world where they cared about each other and learned from one another. The same went with Malia and Lydia or Lydia and Kira. That was the difference between his pack and others. His pack were more than that, they were friends - family. They knew each other and respected each other. Scott, though being the alpha and leader, was sure he'd be lost without them. Without Stiles, Kira, Malia and Lydia. Without Liam and Mason and now his second beta Hayden and Corey. Scott could not express to them how grateful he was to them and he wishes he gets the guts to let them know before anything goes to shit. • A creak was heard from beneath Scott as he stepped into the abandoned house, with an eager Stiles by his side. The boy was desperate to prove everything that happened to Alex was supernatural and Scott wanted to believe him. He did because he felt it was supernatural in his heart too but he didn't want it to be. He hoped he wasn't being selfish for wanting to take a break from all the craziness of the world he was dragged in to. "Maybe Alex got the address wrong?" Scott suggested looking around at the dusty house. "Or maybe he lied." "Why would he lie?" Stiles gave him a look as if they both knew why he would lie. "He didn't lie." Scott said firmly causing the boy to sigh in deflation. He watched Stiles move around before turning to him, "Want to split up?" Scott almost choked on his breath realising what he had said. It took a moment for him to register it but eventually he nodded. But before either of the boys went in different directions, feet stomping towards them caught their attention. Scott turned to the direction it came from and got ready for a fight but instantly relaxed when he saw Mason ans Liam. "What the hell are you two doing here?" Stiles beckoned. "We – uh – we came to help." Mason nodded in agreement of his best friend. Somehow the alpha wasn't quite convinced, seeing Mason holding his hand behind him. Scott sighed. It doesn't take Einstein to know how badly the younger group wanted to be ready to be Beacon Hill's Protectors after Scott leaves along with the others. It got to the point of Mason hinting out wanting the bite from Scott, something he always has been and will be afraid of handing out. He knew Liam would keep him safe just like he had with Stiles so he had no reason to worry about him getting hurt. "Okay fine, but stay together and yell if anything happens okay? Look for any sort of clues we could use to find Alex's parents." With that they nodded and went their way. Scott gave Stiles a nod before walking around the bottom floor before heading upstairs. From a small window at the end of the narrow hallway he saw Mason walking about outside, Liam soon coming into view not a second later. A feeling of concern filled his chest when he heard nothing from downstairs, where Stiles was. So he intended on calling out to him but then he heard a small curse as he imagined Stiles walking into something. Shaking his head lightly he walked to the rooms surrounding him and checked them. All empty. No furniture, nothing. Getting another strange feeling about the place, he carried on. A door at one end of the hallway caught his attention, he hadn't checked that one yet but he doubt he would find anything. Instead he decided to quickly check by opening the door and swinging it open, his instinct to instantly close it stopped when his eyes caught the fully furnished room. Everything seemed all good and normal until he reached out to close the door but was stopped again, this time by a sound that he hasn't heard in person before. The nay of a horse. His eyes widened when he saw a large shadow appearing around the frame of the door. Instinctively he closed the door forgetting his supernatural powers for a second but he was glad he did because he heard the all too familiar sound of bullets being fired his way. He held the doorknob tightly making sure whole ever was on the other side wouldn't escape. Much to his surprise the bullets didn't come through, instead made dents on it. Suddenly the firing stopped and the sound of the brink of a storm began, wind and all. After everything dialled down Scott let out a breath of exhaust as he looked down at the door. The bullet dents were peculiar, he thought as he watched the glow green. Scott swung the door open and much to his surprise there was no sign of the horse nor the rider. What really shocked him was the emptiness of the room. They matched the others now, old looking and dusty, no furniture in place. When he closed the door again he guessed he must've made a lot of noise because Liam was running up calling his name, the other two in tow. "Scott. Are you okay?" "Yeah," he replied honestly. "But I think we need to have a word with Alex again." "Why?" "Because I saw them. Or him. I saw the horse and the man." • Scott let out a deep breath as he stepped back from under the rusting shower head in the boy's locker room. The lights were out and the only source of light was the moonlight coming from the small windows around him. He was alone in the room. The werewolf shivered as he dried himself off and headed towards his bag on the bench. Practice had ended close to an hour ago and because game season has began the coach had them work ten times as hard and long as before. So it was no surprise when it was past sunset when they finished. Quickly the boy put on his clothes and packed away his kit. He came to a stop when he realised his jersey was missing, why would his jersey be missing? He shook his head telling himself he'll talk to the coach or the team about it but first he had to leave and get home. There was commotion coming from the main school area when Scott entered it, leaving from the sports section. He passed a couple of boys he recognised in his team and walked over to them. "What's going on?" A boy in the middle, Jerry, shrugged and answered, "the police are here. Some kids found a dead body in the boiler room." He replied and looked at his mates. "This town's becoming some sort of blood bath nightmare if you ask me." His tone was humour filled but Scott didn't find the situation at all funny however he thanked him for the information and watched them pass him. That was when Scott saw something. His jersey number tacked on the back of Jerry's, his own last name Mateo placed above it replacing the McCall. "Hey! Wait, why are you wearing my jersey number?" He was a little haste but when they turned to him they eyed him funny. "This isn't yours. Coach gave it to me." With that they walked away and Scott suddenly got a sicking gut feeling. He pulled out his phone and began to text his pack frantically. Nobody answered. • Malia watched silently as the redhead did her banshee business, or as her and Kira began to refer to it as the Banshee Call. Not too long ago Lydia had texted her wanting her help and of course she came as quickly as superhumanly possible to do so. "So how and when did you get the premonition?" She asked. "Just earlier and through The song; Riders on a Storm. The riders are going around by storms taking people. They're taking souls." Lydia sighed. "Anyone who see them, they get snatched." She paused and pursed her lips. "And then they're gone forever." Malia nodded understanding. "If it's a myth, how are we so sure it didn't actually happen?" "We don't know. But it's happening now, we have to do something." A phone buzzed from besides them and Malia realising it was hers grabbed it and looked at the text alert. It was the group chat they had, someone was texted. Scott: guys something's happening. Where are you? Get the others and meet me by the front entrance! Malia frowned. "Hey, Lyds, did you add this person to our chat?" "What?" Lydia took the phone and looked at it. "Malia, it's Scott." "Yes I see that but who is Scott?" There was suddenly a dread of silence and Malia turned to examine Lydia's face which had turned pale white, her lips slightly parted. "What's wrong?" "Somethings happening. You don't remember Scott?" The redhead got off her chair when she received a negative response from Malia who jumped on her feet after her. "He must've seen them. The ghost riders. We have to go." Malia hurried after the banshee as they made their way out of school. From the heavily intoxicating scent of worry and panic that aroused Upon Lydia Malia knew it was a dead serious situation and that they needed to go to this Scott person. The heavy wind crashed on them as they run towards the front of the school. Lydia sighed in relief when they spotted a boy standing there looking almost lost and out of place. "Scott!" "Lydia, Malia. Thank god, where are the rest?" He asked frantically. "We didn't have time to get them. It's happening isn't it?" Lydia replied. Malia stood warily of the scene taking place in front of her. The boy just nodded and looked at her. "Why didn't you tell us you saw them?" "I didn't actually see them properly. I saw their shadow and that was it!" Scott exclaimed. "We have to get out of h—" he stopped instantly, his head turning to the direction of the parking lot. "They're here." "Who's here?" Malia asked now worried that the boy may be crazy. She looked around and found and heard nothing. Scott held out his arm stretched in front of them as his eyes glowed deep red, his fangs exposed. Malia instinctively followed him and shielded Lydia in protection. The Alpha roared and suddenly the girls were able to hear galloping and they knew, it was the wild hunt. "Scott where are they?" "Everywhere!" He moved back slightly backing them to the stairs of the school entrance. "Stay still. Trust me alright?" Lydia nodded but Malia was still in her own defence mode, ready for anything. "Listen, they're here because I saw them. They're going to take me, but I'll find a way out. I promise but you guys have to remember me okay? They'll make you forget. You need to remember." Malia growled lowly. "How?" "Find a way. But you have to stick together." He assured. "Now go before you see them too!" A sound whacked through the air and Scott staggered back, something grabbed him but he resisted, pulling at it frantically. Malia tried to help but it was no use, she couldn't see what had grabbed him. Suddenly he pushed her away and she fell back knocking Lydia with her. The girls watched with wide eyes as he gave them one last look before disappearing in green smoke. Lydia sat up when she felt his disappearance, a tight feeling bubbling inside her chest. She let out a fierce banshee screaming which Malia turned her head from, her ears ringing. Immediately the storm halted, the flying leaves falling into heaps around them. Malia grabbed Lydia's arm as she looked around in confusion, the dark night surrounding them shyly. They were alone. •••