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reverie-verse · 10 months

Note

Hello! Can I request a Azriel x Reader angst? The reader and Az are mates but Az was too infatuated with Mor, and after years of waiting the reader moves on with an OMC. They’re finally happy and feel loved and all Azriel can do is watch as his mate gets pulled from him completely. The reader tells him it’s too late. (The reader isn’t bitter)

The Mate That Got Away- Azriel x Reader

Note: There will be a ball, and the outfits are going to be vague. So you can picture what you’d like, if you prefer ethnic traditional clothing, great! If you like modern clothing that’s also great too. The style is up to you! However the color of the outfit will match the male character. So whatever color his court is, whatever color he represents the reader will have.

Ooooooo I almost forgot! I pictured Lestat from queen of the damned as Eris. I’m sorry it is what it is. Thats where my brain 😂😂. I do hope this meets your expectations and I’m sorry if it doesn’t. All I know is I was breaking my own damn heart writing this 😭 💔.

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You left a note pinned to your bed. You had changed into all black clothing. Your bag packed with most of your belongings slung over your shoulder, your hair pulled back a black hood pulled to cover your head. You were perched on the window seal taking one final look around the precious space of your room. You saying one last goodbye, you were leaving your home, you were leaving Velaris. Your heart cracked into a million pieces, but it was the right thing to do. You had too. By the time they would return from their trip and stumble into your room you’d be long gone. Some part of you wished that things could be different and that it didn’t have to be this way. The bigger half knew better, you had to do this. It was the only thing you had left, and you had endured enough pain to last you hundreds of life times. It was time to say goodbye. You turned away hopping off the ledge and down the River house. You landed gracefully and quietly.

“ Are you sure about this?” A male voice whispered to you. You looked up to your old room and the rest of the house. Your heart heavy, you turned to the male who spoke to you. Fiery red hair and a golden eye stared back at you, his face expressing that of sadness. Lucien was the only one who you talked to about this. He was your ticket out. Everyone was too close, he never asked too many questions only when he figured you needed consulting that he bombarded you with them. You two were close enough to consider one another as good friends.

“ Yes, Lucien. We’ve been over this a hundred times. We are burning moonlight” You sighed quietly walking over to him.

“ I know, but I think you should stay. Everyone will be devastated. I’m sure you can speak with Rhys and Feyre, tell them the truth-“

“ That won’t change anything. It doesn’t matter what I say, nothing will change the fact that I need to leave. It’s just easier that way” You tell him while the two of you walk further away from the home.

“Did I ever tell you how I knew this young human turned high fae who instead of running away from her mate she ran towards him '' He says as the two of you come to a halt, realizing that you both were far enough from the home to make traveling much easier and more discrete. He scoops you into his arms. He braces himself so that he can winnow you.

“ Lucien I’m not changing my mind”

“Right, well it was worth another attempt”

—-

You were gone, with no traces left of you. Everyone had panicked, they searched the entire home, the house of wind and the town house. There was nothing. Standing in the foyer of the river house everyone’s gaze shifted to Azriel. They knew of the mating bond between you two, however what they didn’t know was that he rejected the bond. Azriel was hesitant and he did almost accept it but his mind kept drifting to Mor. He couldn’t let her go even if he tried. He didn’t want to either. Yet every day much like Lucien you strived to at least to get to know him and you did. What he didn’t know was that you loved him. No one knew except Lucien. You two shared similarities more than you realized. The only difference was Elain was beginning to come around. Azriel was never going to come around.

Azriel attempted to reach you through the mating bond only to find a cold numbness. You both couldn’t exactly break the bond but you could block each other. Azriel considered that as one possibility. While his mind went to a dark place, where someone could have kidnapped you and dosed you with faebane, it was his job to assume the worst. Azriel couldn’t take his mind off you, for a moment he was searching for his friend, then the next his mate, then back to his friend. His eyes searched the room for Mor finding her near the fire place, her expression filled with pain and sadness. She had lost one person she was close to. It broke his heart to see her in that state. Feyres voice broke him from his train of thought.

“ Did any of you find anything?” Feyre asked, looking between each member. Rhys pinched the bridge of his nose. His body is rigid and tense.

“ Not a thing. She covered her tracks well” Cassin crosses his arms as he rocks himself on his feet.

“ That’s because she does not want to be found” Lucien says as he walks through the threshold of the living room. Everyone was standing except for Elain and Nesta. All of their pointed gazes turned directly towards him. Lucien looked past everyone, his eyes landing directly on Azriel. His shadows danced around him furiously. He was hurt, angry, confused. He didn't know what to say or what to expect from you.

“ Why would she not want to be found?” Mor asked as she turned away from the fireplace. She couldn’t understand why you would make such a drastic move such as this one. This was out of the ordinary for even you, there had to be a reason why you’d disappear without a trace, it just wasn’t like you. The strangest part was that you had asked Lucien to take you wherever you went. “ Why would she bother asking you to take her?” She asked Lucien as she stared him down while he started Azriel down.

“Because she trusted me more than she trusted the rest of you” He says simply.

“ She’s only known you for half a second. Why would she put all her faith into you? ” Azriel bounced off of Mors questions. She was right , it was rather odd for you to take off the way you did. This wasn’t normal behavior which meant something was extremely wrong. Azriel was your friend first before your mate, he will always be your friend first, right now as your friend trusting someone like Lucien was always questionable. Again his gaze shifted to Mor who was biting her lip, she began to pace, her mind must’ve been racing a mile a minute. He wanted to reach out and hold-no not right now he can’t not when you were gone.

“She had her reasons. I did not press the issue because she did not wish to talk about it.” Lucien glares at Azriel.

“ So you simply let her walk away with no questions of your own” Azriel challenged.

“ You want an explanation for a question that I can’t give you”

“ Why? Because she has sworn you to secrecy” Mor hissed. “ You know something. She must’ve said a word, a phrase, anything!”

Cassian asked, arms still crossed. “Is it possible she could’ve left a note?”

“ There may be a possibility, Cass check her room see if you find anything that might give us an idea of where she headed or why she took off” Rhys ordered his brother turned general. Cassian gave him a curt nod heading off to your room.

“ Elain is there a chance you could’ve seen this in your vision?” Feyre asked her sister as she walked over to her.

Elain shook her head. “ No I can’t get a read on her, she won’t allow me into her mind. Her future is blocked from me”

“ I can’t get a read on her either” Rhys says as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “ Azriel? What of the mating bond?”

Azriel’s sharpened gaze stayed trained on Lucien “Nothing, it’s quiet on her end. Too quiet.” Even as Azriel rejected the bond he still remained protective of you, though his heart yearned for Mor. Lucien tightened his gaze on Azriel the two stared each other down. Cassian bounded down the stairs quickly as he reached the threshold a piece of paper tucked into his hand. “ She left a note. It’s addressed to you Feyre” He walkes over to her handing her the folded paper.

“ Me?” She looks between him and the paper hesitantly taking it from him.

“ What” Mor gasped “ She-let me see the note”

“ No, Mor I don’t think you should see this”

“ Let me read the note” Azriel says, if anyone should, he prefers it was him who witness it, you were his mate. It had to account for something. Even if his heart belongs to Mor and not yours. Was that selfish, to want to still take ownership of you but be in love with another. No, it was deeply wrong. Yet he found himself hurt and curious.

Feyre however needed time to think and with a note that could possibly explain your whereabouts and why you specifically chose her to read it. She could only assume that you had figured out Azriel’s love for Mor. If that was the case then the entirety of the situation would start an internal conflict for Mor herself. A conflict of a truth that could be forced out into the open. Tonight would not be the night for that. As if Rhys had peaked into Feyres mind he says “- As much as we all are curious about her note I suggest everyone take the evening off, we can deal with this tomorrow.-“

“You can’t be serious?! She could be in trouble! She could be hurting and you want to wait until tomorrow!” Mor growled.

“ Easy Girl” Amren says as she moves from the window to stand by Mor. Mor turned to glare at Amren, her chest heaving up and down furious.

“Our friend is out there, somewhere, possibly hurting, and you want me to take it easy. You have some nerve-“

“ Girl you watch your tongue before I rip it out of your blonde head-“ Rhys and Cassian jumped to action moving the women away from each other. Nesta and Elain standing up from the couch, Nesta made quick work to push Elain protectively behind her. Rhys held his second in command away from everyone, to which Amren was rather calm but more or less annoyed at the theatrics. Cassian wrapped his arms around Mor holding her close to his chest.

“ It was my fault. I didn’t want it to be this way. Not like this-“ Azriel starts his shadows becoming droopy and hidden behind him. This was because of him, he hadn’t realized it until now, the note, the fighting, the way he wanted to recuse Mor, instead of searching for you. Shame itched at him.

Mor pushed against Cassian to let her go. “ What are you talking about?-”Mor asked as she struggled against Cassian who made no move, only holding her tightly. Everyone held their breath, this was becoming a reality. Mor shook her head. When Azriel made no move to explain his own eyes flickering to meet hers. The information fits together like puzzle pieces. There was no need to read the note because everything they needed to know was right in front of them. “- No-you- didn’t- Why would you risk the bond?! You idiot!” Mor continued to struggle in Cassian's arms. Elain places a hand over her mouth as it hung open. Nesta frozen by the words she heard mulling over the meaning.

“ I did it because I love you! Mor I fell in love with you, since I first saw you, I have always loved you. This wasn’t how I wanted to do this-“ He tells her as he steps towards her, Mors body sags in defeat, this was her last straw.

“-You-You ruined everything” Mor whispers softly, gentle tears streaming down her face. Cassian let go of Mor slowly as she pushed away from him. She moved towards the living room crossing the threshold and to the front door, she planned on staying anywhere else but the River house.

“Mor!” Azriel called out after attempting to go after her but not when Rhys stopped him. He had removed himself from Amren, placing a hand on Azriel’s shoulder.

“ Let her go” He tells him, Azriel listens and remains in his place, but his heart ripped in half, two people had walked away from him in the same night, and both were his fault.

“ She’ll come back, she always does” Cassian says as he stands on the other side of Azriel.

—

You rolled onto your side staring at the man who laid next to you. He was laying on his stomach, his arms buried beneath the pillow, his cheek resting against it. His wine red hair in a wavy mess plastered to the pillow. His hair paired well against his tan skin, a lighter color than his brother. Your heart swooned at the sight of him. You reached over caressing his cheek. You moved your hand away pushing him over to the side so you could tuck yourself under his arms. He follows suit and gives you the space to do so. You had a feeling he was awake, you could feel the rumble of a chuckle in his chest. You snuggled into his bare chest basking in his warmth. His eyes remained closed as he held you close. You shut your eyes as the two of you began to fall back asleep.

A knock was heard on your shared bedroom door. The man holding you groaned, it was your turn to giggle at him . “Eris! Y/N!?” Lucien’s voice called out to you both.

“ I am going to murder him” Eris growled.

“ No you’re not, he's my best friend and your brother.” You tell him, as he sighed roughly making you smile though you knew Eris would never harm Lucien, the two have grown closer as of recently, all thanks to you. Their brother bonds stronger than before.

“ I am coming in you both better be decent when I open this door!” Lucien says as he opens the door stepping inside. Thankfully you both were already decent. You slept in Eris’s tunic while he slept shirtless and in pants. You untangled yourself from Eris’s arms even though he protested. Eris sighed as he propped himself against a few pillows, resting an arm behind his head. You sat up cross legged under the blankets. “Oh good you both are decent”

“ What is it Lucien?” Eris asked as his amber eyes stared at his brother.

“ The ball” He tells him simply.

“ What about it?” You asked.

“ All courts are attending, including the Night Court. They had just decided and sent a reply to Helion. Elain was the one who told me '' Lucien says as Eris who was already looking at you noticed the nervous expression on your face. Lucien has turned his attention towards you.

“ I guess that means it’s time” You tell them quietly.

“ I’m afraid so” Eris replies. You both stare at each other, Eris reaches over and takes your hands in his.

Lucien had left the room, claiming he needed to get dressed and that Elain would need some help picking a matching outfit. It’s been two years since you’ve left Velaris. Two years since you last saw him. Since you left your friends. You wondered if they resented you for it. You wondered if Elain told them about you already. Lucien always reassured you that she never did even when they asked questions about her visions. You never asked him questions though, you never asked how they were, how Azriel was nor about Morrigan either. You assumed they lived happily ever after. You guessed that today would be the day where everyone would find out about one another.

You climbed out of the bed getting ready to go to the closet, Eris reached out a hand grabbing your arm pulling you back to him. You sighed, turning to look at Eris who had a mischievous smirk on his face. A silly smile slipped on your face as soon as you realized what he was going to do. “ Oh no, No-No-No we are going to be late!-Eris!” Eris yanked you back down onto the bed. Trapping you under him in attempts to kiss you.

“ Eris!” You warned him as you tried to squirm away.

“We’ll be quick I swear!” He watched you hesitate, your half on the bed and half off the bed. It was his chance to grab you again.

“That’s what you said last time!”You squealed your back landing onto the plush bed. Lips attach themselves to yours drawing you in, consuming you whole.

—-

The ball was organized as a birthday party for Helion, the Day Court planned to celebrate him. Each court was sent an invitation; this was the biggest ball of the year. It has been a long time since the courts have ever gathered together unified enough to be in the same room. Everyone was mingling amongst themselves as different courts arrived at various times of the evening. The night court had made it before Autumn. The inner circle spoke with different court members all except Azriel.

The night after you left Azriel spoke with Mor alone, he had learned the truth, about her and himself. He realized that he had made a grave mistake. For the past two years he spent the time he had searching for you. Only to come up empty each time, even Mor vouched to help him find you and there was nothing. No word from anyone. Eventually she had given up on the search, Rhys and offered for Azriel to take some time away from everyone including the search for you but he refused. Everyone had given him space and the time he needed to grieve but it made no difference.

He was haunted by the memories of you regardless. You were all he could think about for the past two year, and with the help of Mor, you were a permanent marking. Everyday he spent time working on the bond hoping to connect with you, and if he succeeded he could find you. The only problem was you were strong in blocking the mating bond. You made it near impossible to find you, to connect, to be linked to you. He admitted that you were well trained in that department. It was a task you were always good at. Still he continued with his quest on finding you. His eyes scanned the ball room, hoping and wishing for your presence, hoping to hear your voice, maybe offer you a dance while the two of you talk and ignore the crowd… But that was wishful thinking. Music played in the background as couples danced on the floor, Mor walked over to Azriel handing him a glass of wine. “ I think you’re going to need this more than I do” She tells him softly, taking a drink from her own cup.

“ What makes you think I will?” He asks, taking the glass, holding it in his hand not bothering to touch it. He eyes the crowd before eyeing the cup in his hand.

“If she isn’t here you’ll be spending the entire night in heartbreak watching all these couples, you might as well be drunk for it”

“ Maybe I don’t want that-“ Mors gasp caught him by surprise, his eyes looking at her following her gaze. There you were. As beautiful as the last time he saw you. Your hair styled perfectly, your skin glowing, you had a smile on your face so bright and full of life, your laugh echoed hitting his ears turning into a wonderful melody. Time truly seemed to slow down. Your hand was intertwined with someone else’s, a ring on your wedding finger, your outfit you had worn colored in reddish orange, the colors of autumn. It couldn’t have been Lucien, he was already waltzing on the dancing floor with Elain. Which only left one highlord Eris. He too was smiling as he spoke with Cassian and Nesta. Mor growled at the sight. Rhys and Feyre approached Azriel and Mor. Amren, as quiet as ever appeared next to her with Varian by her side, soon enough the rest of the inner circle gathered together.

“ She looks happy” Azriel says as the group turns to look at his saddened face. He had lost the one chance at happiness after he lost his first, a mistake he regretted more than anything. Had he known that Mor had never felt for him the way he had for her, then you would be in his arms now. You would be with him and not Eris.

“She does,” Rhys acknowledged Azriel’s comment, watching his brother closely. Nesta and Cassian had hugged you before leaving to head to the dance floor. You looked so relieved that they embraced you, you had turned to your husband, with yet another smile. Eris shared that smile with you as if to say I told you so. He took your hand back in his as he pulled you to the dance floor, as if he had done it many times, you fell into his arms melting into them as if you two were mated from the beginning. You swayed with him, your arms wrapped around his neck and his arms wrapped around your waist. You two spoke to each other, laughing and sharing sweet nothings. Azriel wished that it was him holding you that way, to watch you smile, and laugh effortlessly. He wanted to be Eris. He wanted to be the one wearing the wedding band that you gave him, he wanted you to wear the wedding band he gave you. He wanted what Eris had.

Nesta and Cassian had crossed the dance floor and headed to the group. Cassian had seen the pain in his brother's eyes, his own heartbreaking. He wasn’t sure what he could say that might ease Azriel’s suffering. He placed a hand on Azriel’s shoulder giving him a soft squeeze. Azriel had made up his mind “ I’m going to talk to her” everyone looked at Azriel questioning his motivation. Walking away from his friends he walks towards you. He could smell the two of you, how your scents intermingled, it was repulsive to him, he couldn’t stand the smell, instead he wished it was his smell on you. Yours on him. But it was too late for that. Eris had taken your hand and twirled you around, pulling you back to him swaying again, you giggled at his feeble attempt to flirt with you. As Azriel got closer he fought the urge to kill and maim him right where he was. Azriel reached you both and cleared his throat. You and Eris looked towards Azriel, the smiles slipping from both of your faces. Azriel wished he hadn’t been the one to make your smile fall.

“ Do you mind if I cut in?” He asks.

Eris looks at you first ignoring his request. You sighed, you knew this time was going to come, Eris tightened his hold on you. Your heart smiled at his protectiveness. You gave Eris a nod of approval. He looked at you for a little while longer, leaning down and kissed your cheek. You offered him a sweet smile as he reached up and caressed your cheek. He turned away from you heading off in another direction, he glared at Azriel who returned the stare down. Azriel smiled gently to which you had taken his outstretched hand. You kept the hold simple, placing your hands on his shoulders. His hands remained on your waist. You were hesitant, you shifted uncomfortably.

Azriel cleared his throat “ How are you?”

For this you smiled, your eyes traveled to Eris who was speaking with Lucien for a moment before looking back to Azriel. “ I am better. And You?”

“ I-it could be better-” He admits. “There is something that I’d like to ask you”

“ Alright”

“ What drew you away from me?”

“ Azriel I don’t think-“

“I would like to know”

You sighed the weight returning to your chest. “ I-I left because you were in love with Mor. The way you looked at her was the way I wished you’d look at me. I waited for you for years, and you never-it was never going to work. You love her, she is the one you wanted. I wasn’t going to get in the way of that.-” You shrugged lightly. You shook your head at the old memories that were embedded in your mind and heart. “-You told her how you felt and she said no to you didn’t she?” You looked him in the eyes. The bond may have been blocked but you were still able to read him like an open book. You knew him better than he knew himself. Azriel looked away, he came to you for a second chance because his first rejected him. You stopped moving, not bothering to sway with the music any longer.

“ I can explain myself-“ His heart had no more pieces to break, it was already shattered.

“ Unrequited love can be painful, can it not?” You tell him your voice pained.

“ Yes, but I understand now what it feels like-“

“ You think that you do but you don’t Az. Its different when you reject a mate, that bond is sacred. And you threw it away.” You tell him with no cruelty in the words only the truth, the reality. He was expecting you to shout at him, hit him, yell at him, but you did none of those things.

“ Y/N-“ his own voice cracks.

You shake your head “ No, Azriel. I am happy-I-I have a family that cares for me, A husband who loves me, and I love him. You can't ask me to leave them because I won’t”

“I understand…” Azriel’s gaze drops from your eyes to the floor, completely broken and defeated. His own eyes pricked with tears. You wrapped your arms around Azriel’s neck pulling him in for a hug.

“ You deserve to be loved Az. Never forget that.” You whispered to him as you held him. Azriel wrapped his arms around your waist holding onto you tightly. He never wanted to leave your embrace, but it was too late for that. It was something he would keep with him forever. You pulled away sliding from his embrace, your hands slipped past each other one last time. Azriel watched as you made your way back to your husband who smiled once your gaze settled on him. He extended his hand towards you and you took it with no hesitation. You had not looked back once as the two of you left the hall wrapped in each other's arms. Azriel watched you walk right out of his arms into another. You were right, it was a different feeling, more painful than anything he had ever experienced. You were bonded to him but you fell in love with Eris. This was the pain you felt when you had watched him fall for Mor as you were bound to him.

He truly understood the weight of the bond and it’s worth.

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stylespresleyhearted · 1 year

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When Austin and Ccg soft launch their relationship - Social media version

liked by austiniselvis, presleyluv, and 45678 others

enews Curious to know more about the woman who has captured the heart of up and coming movie star actor Austin Butler? Click the link in our bio where we share all the details - from where she grew up to how they met.

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sherry12 i would not wanna be her, all the austin and vanessa fans are gonna come for her 😭

vaustin4eva yeah bc Austin and Vanessa are gonna get back together

presleyfamfan she’s cute but V was prettier …

butlerbot Can the man just stay single for a bit 😭 I wanna believe I have a chance!

liked by elvisfeyud, timluv, and 145 others

austinbupdates via @jillian.mua ‘s instagram story. austin’s rumored girlfriend wearing his sweatshirt.

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austinfandom she probably went and got one just like it because she knew we would recognize it. her and her friend jillian seem to use austin for attention

styleselvis good point! i didn’t even think about that! how sad now that he’s getting attention everyone is gonna try and use him

dunda12 i don’t think she would buy another sweatshirt but i hope austin opens his eyes and sees these people are not his friends.

austin23 guys i wear my friends sweatshirts all the time 🙄

jillian.mua All of you being mean are miserable people. Find something better to do like learning how to be kind.

liked by butlerbot, savvyjen, and 623 others

austinbupdates With Austin at his interview yesterday. After weeks of speculation it’s safe to say, her and Austin are dating.

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sharonbleu Austin pushed a pap and told him to not film his “girlfriend.” Video on TMZ just dropped.

austin23 she’s already changing him he never acted like that when he was with V

butlerbot She is actually very kind. A friend who was there said she encouraged Austin to stay out there meeting fans and that the pap was way out of line.

danimarie can confirm. Austin couldn’t take his eyes off her and asking if she was okay and she was telling him to focus on the fans 😂

austinfan6 she probably wanted the fans to take pictures of her thats why

liked by stonewall, vickybutt, and 3829 others

dailymail Austin Butler’s new girlfriend has been the trending topic on social media. Half hate her and the other half love her. Another pro for Mr. Butler? She looks stunning even with no make up on.

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sharonbleu This caption is simply disgusting but what else could we expect from dailymail?

austin23 so now she’s getting papped alone?

austinfan6 she’s looking right into the camera ..

presleyluv She is beautiful but maybe we should all respect her privacy a bit more? We all seen how protective Austin is of her and she’s not a celebrity, he is.

jillian.mua Preach 🙏🏻 This photographer followed her around for thirty minutes and then she had to hide out in my house for two hours before they stopped roaming. Pathetic.

liked by austinbupdates, kayalaaa, and 78 others

butlerrraus I MET THE QUEEN IN LONDON!!!! Jk but on a serious note cannot emphasize how extremely kind she is! Austin was in the hotel room resting and when we seen her come out we started chatting with her, she is so hilarious and promised she would tell Austin we said hi and that we love him and hours later he came out to meet us and thanked us for being kind to her 🥺

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danimarie Well that confirms that he sees the hate everyone leaves his girlfriend. How sad.

butlerbot 😭😭 she’s really starting to grow on me all you hear is good things about her and even the whole cast of elvis loves her

presleyluv She’s so naturally beautiful and has a personality to match

liked by presleyluv, danimarie, and 836 others

austinfeyud I got to meet Austin and when I brought up his girlfriend this was his face. That smile isn’t fake ya’ll. His whole demeanor lit up. Was walking out and ran into guess who? She was trying her hardest to not be seen, hiding under one of his hoodies and a hat. So so kind and loving. I take back everything I said about her and from now on this page is only a supporter of them. We should all respect them and I apologize for my previous behavior.

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austinfandom everything I hear about her is only good things and Austin seems so happy when she’s around. I might be changing my mind too …

austinfeyud that’s the right choice. she’s amazing. it’s easy to see why he fell in love with her.

ccgupdates Everyone follow my page !!!!

austinfandom you got my follow!

liked by butlerbot, austin3, and 7193 others

austinbupdates via @austinbutler ‘s story today.

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sharonbleu she is so adorable !! 🥺

presleyluv He is really in love huh?

danimarie Imagine him looking through his emoji’s trynna decide which one to pick 😭 imagine all the pictures he must have of her !!

butlerrr THEM FOREVER ❤️

butlerelvis Austin she’s my girlfriend now, sorry not sorry, she is beautiful

austin3 can’t believe any of us ever doubted them, they are a beautiful couple and continue to grow on me daily 😫🙏🏻

livvy I SHIP IT SO HARD!!!

For the magnificent @blainesebastian based on her series Coffee Girl universe because she deserves the world and has been feeling frantic so hopefully this eases the tiniest bit of her nerves so she can get lost in my comfort universe created by her. This was supposed to follow a path like her first being revealed as Austin’s girlfriend. The fans are cruel at first but once they get to know Ccg they come around because she is simply the best person! And I actually imagine for it to have gone like, slowly as more fans meet her, they see she’s just like them in supporting and loving Austin. Plus, how could you not love her once you see how much Austin loves her? This is based on Mccall’s Coffee Girl Universe, if you haven’t read it, go check it out! Mccall I love you, we’ve been on a journey with this universe and I love it more each new installment. Our babies forsure. I am no professional at this and do it for fun so please be kind regarding my skills. And as another little gift Mccall down below is another photo, the texts between Austin and Ccg when he realized that she was papped/followed while he was filming Masters of Air -

Enjoy!!

#go read mccall’s work everyone #austin butler x reader #austin butler instagram au #austin butler instagram edit #austin butler edit #made by me*#gift for mccall

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alwayzraven · 8 months

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Kardeşlerim Ep 100

Ayla told Berk that she bought the tickets and they will be leaving tomorrow. Berk told her that she should've got the ticket so they can leave today bc he is not going to school. Elif was ready to leave for school but she saw that Berk was not wearing his uniform so she told him that they were going to be late bc of him. He told her that he is sick, he had a headache, so he is not going to school today. Elif said that maybe they should take him to the doctor but Berk said that it wasn't serious. Ayla told Elif that they should go out for dinner tonight. Ayla plans to tell her that they were leaving at dinner. Ayla said that she didn’t expect that it was going to be this hard to tell Elif about them leaving.

At school, Aybike saw Elif arriving alone

Aybike:"Elif is alone! Berk is not with her! Where is Berk? *to Oglucan* Ask her where Berk is`?"

Oglucan:”Okay! shush! act natural!”

Oglucan:”Where is my brother-in-law? Aybike was wondering”

He was supposed to ask Elif without mentioning Aybike 😂

Elif said that Berk was sick and he wasn’t going to come to school today.

Aybike instantly panicked:”Sick??? What’s wrong with him?”

Elif:”He has a headache”

Aybike:”got it! Did he say anything else?”

Elif:”No”

Oglucan:”Are you crazy? You broke up with the guy and you still worry about him? What kind of relationship is this?”

Aybike waited for Elif after class. She was looking at her pictures with Berk while she was waiting for her. She really missed him 😭

Aybike asked Elif if Berk was very sick and Elif said that he didn’t look sick and he probably used that excuse because he didn’t want to come to school. Elif then asked Aybike:”Didn’t you guys break up? Shouldn’t you hate him right now”

Aybike:”How can I hate him? I still love him very much………..as a friend, I mean! We’ve gone through so much together, we’ve been together for months, I still love him as a friend”

right right right! Of course as a friend 🤡

Elif told her to stop pretending. She said Berk was depressed at home while Aybike asked her at school if he was okay. “If you were going to act this way, then why did you break up?”

Aybike:”We couldn’t stay together. It means that love is not enough”

Elif:”Can I tell you something? I think you two looked good together. I don’t know, you were so cute together. I was a bit sad when you two broke up.”

Aybike:”I am very sad too”

Elif kissed her and told her if they loved each other, they should make up. Okay but this was so cute. Best sister in laws ❤️

Meanwhile, Berk was in his room sulking. He uploaded a story with a cryptic message:"Saying goodbye was easier when I was a child, but it got harder as I got older".

Aybike saw his story and panicked:”What is he saying? What goodbye? Is he going somewhere?”

Elif said that he wasn't going anywhere and that since they broke up, he was trying to send her a msg.

Elif said that it was nice that they were having dinner outside together for the first time. Then Ayla and Berk looked at each other and Elif asked them if they had bad news for her.

Ayla told her that they were leaving. She told her that she was going to leave the house for her and she will send her money every month. Elif excused herself and went to the bathroom. Berk said that he didn’t expect Elif to be this sad. Ayla said that Elif got used to living with them and she got used to Elif. Elif was crying in the bathroom and was trying to convince herself that she was okay with them leaving:”Let them leave. I didn’t like Berk anyway. He was annoying. Let them leave. Let them leave like everyone else.”

Then she turned and said:”Don’t let them leave. Please don’t let them leave.”

When she left the bathroom, she saw Berk waiting for her. He said that he came to check on her and asked her if she was okay. At first, she said that she was okay but then she said she wasn’t. She said that she got used to them and Berk said that they also got used to her but he doesn’t have any reason to stay here anymore so he has to leave. Elif asked him if they would visit her and Berk said that they would.

I don’t know if Sengul was serious about this but she said that she bought some stuff for when Aybike gets married and Orhan told her that Aybike hasn’t finished school yet and Sengul said that Aybike will get married when she graduates. I don’t know if she said this as a joke or if the writers are sending us a msg about Ayber getting married when they graduate high school.

To celebrate the opening of their restaurant, Yaman and Akif organized a party there. Aybike went with Asiye and Oglucan and as soon as she got there, she started looking for Berk. She even asked Asiye if she saw him. She was hoping that he'll be at the party since Lydia invited everyone.

Aybike was looking for Elif at the party, she told Oglucan to call her. She was worried about Berk bc she thought he was sick. Oglucan told her to call her. Aybike said that she can't.

Oglucan tried to call her but then he got distracted by Lydia so in the end Aybike called her. Elif just got home from the airport. Aybike asked her what's wrong because her voice was shaking.

Elif told her that Ayla and Berk were leaving for Italy for good. Aybike realized that Berk was really saying goodbye to her in the story he posted.

Aybike:"You can't go anywhere!"

Aybike got out of the restaurant and tried to call Berk but his phone was off. She was freaking out:"Why is it off!!!!"

Tolga saw her panicking. She told him that Berk was leaving and that she have to go to the airport but she doesn't have enough money for a cab, Tolga said that he will borrow his uncle's car and he will get her to the airport. On their way, Aybike sent a msg to Berk:"I will tell you everything, why I distanced myself from you, why we broke up, I don't care about anything anymore. Elif is your sister....They adopted you....Ayla caused the death of your bio mother...This is why I couldn't tell you.....This is why we broke up."

Aybike got to the airport and started running. She dropped her shoe, she came back for it but then didn't put it back on. She just didn't want to lose time 😭 She got through security and then she walked barefoot looking for Berk until she saw him. She tried to get to him but the airport staff didn't let her through bc she didn't have a ticket. Aybike begged her to let her through but the lady still said no. Aybike thought that Berk really left.

Aybike remembered when Berk told her to promise him not to leave him again at the beach.

Aybike:"But you left. You left me. What am I going to do now?"

Berk was walking behind her but he didn't see her. Berk changed his mind before they boarded the plane. Then he saw Aybike and I think at first he didn't believe it bc it took some time for him to call out her name. Aybike turned around and saw Berk. She ran to him and hugged him.

Aybike:”I thought you left. I thought I was never going to see you again.”

Berk hugged her but he was confused and trying to process what was going on and at the same time it looked like he didn't believe that Aybike was there with him.

Ayla was angry at him for changing his mind last minute and I think she thought he called Aybike to the airport? Anyway, Berk didn’t even hear what she was saying.

Aybike:”Do you know how scared I was? Were you really going to leave?”

Berk:”I didn’t leave Aybike. Look, I am here, in front of you. Did you come here for me?”

Aybike:”Of course I came here for you, why else would I come here? I called you but you didn’t answer. You turned off your phone.”

Berk:”I turned off my phone because I was about to get on the plane. I was about to board, I was about to leave but then I remembered that I can’t see you ever again and I felt really awful.”

Aybike:”Did you come back because of me?”

Berk:”Yes, of course it’s because of you. Even though you didn’t want me, I don’t know, I thought I could still see you from time to time and see what you’re doing”

Aybike:”Of course I want you and I never thought about breaking up with you, Berk”

Berk:”Then why were you running away from me, Aybike?”

Aybike:”You didn’t read my text?”

Berk:”No I didn't. I just turned on my phone. Give me a minute, let me take a look. Oh, I have 12 missed calls and they are all from you”

He was so impressed that she called him 12 times 😭😭

Berk:”Yes, there is a text too. I hope you used nice and sweet words to win my heart”

However, Aybike wasn’t smiling after he said this. Berk’s expression changed to a serious one.

Berk:”What’s wrong? Do you not want me to read the text?”

You know what? I bet you if she said don’t read it then he would’ve deleted it right away.

Aybike:”No I want you to. Read it.”

Berk read the text and I just love how his expression changed with every line he read.

I think the best thing to use to describe Berk’s expression is that loading symbol gif. As always, Recep and Melis acted the shit out of this scene and it came out so good 👏

The teaser shows Berk going back home with Aybike. He opened the door and stormed into the house screaming “MOM” with Aybike behind him telling him to calm down.

Berk:”Did you adopt me?”

And then Berk hugged Elif and Elif was like ??????

Okay but I didn’t expect Berk to hug Elif as soon as he found out that they were siblings. He is taking this better than I expected. I remember that he said that he didn’t want a sibling so I figured it’s going to take him some time to warm up to his sister but no my boy has so much love to give he hugged right away 😭 I can’t wait to see brother Berk ❤️ But I think he is not going to tell Elif that they are siblings.

Do you know what I just remembered? Berk was not adopted legally, his parents sold him to Ayla and Resul but he thinks he was adopted. Aybike knows about this so I wonder if she is going to tell him.

Ayla was crying in the teaser, I am guessing Berk left the house. I wonder if he really went to the Eren’s house. Meanwhile, Elif stayed with Ayla and she was taking care of her. She still doesn’t know the truth.

OKAY BUT THE NEXT EP STARTS WITH AYBER!! We don't have to watch a full hour of nonsense before we see them 🥳🥳

#kardeslerim #kardeşlerim #ayber #recap #turkish tv show #turkish shows #turkish dizi #turkish series

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icebluecyanide · 2 months

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Alex Rider S03E07 Reaction

My unspoiled reactions to the episode, books spoilers do apply, etc etc. Only two episodes left!

Liveblog

Lots of John/Yassen in the ‘previously’ I’m 👀👀

Really not a fan of Mrs Jones being so much softer in the TV show tbh

Ayyy Alex getting arrested \o/ CONSEQUENCES

‘Take those off him!’ no!!!! Stop being nice to him!!! Only five minutes with handcuffs on 😭 At least put him in a cell for the night or something 😭

The show is not mean enough to Alex 😭

Awww Yassen is worried about Alex being captured!!

“Have you actually done anything worth going to prison for?” I mean attempted murder is a crime actually!!! Joining a terrorist organisation, there’s that time he inadvertently helped Yassen murder someone in Malta, can we *please* at least treat this seriously 😭😭

What is the point of the whole body bag and fake autopsy if they are then going to let Alex go home 😭

I’m sorry but this part is so much better in the book and I’m really struggling and I just bet Alex is going to investigate the Scorpia thing with only his friends for backup or something stupid

“No it’s not okay. And we all know it, so let’s stop pretending” THANK YOU KYRA

Mrs Jones being the one to suggest that they have an agent (Alex) in place 👀

“Everyone breaks into houses” lmao Kyra

But also I love that Kyra really did worry that Alex was the one who killed that man and it was part of why she was more worried they couldn’t get Alex back.

“No, not use him” says the person already claiming to have an agent in place without consulting with Alex 🙄

“Your little protégé” 🥺🥺 Yassen just completely ignoring Nile’s jabs at him and Alex ahsldfhs

“He’s an asset, we need him back” Oh Yassen really doesn’t know they meant to kill Alex :((( He’s upset :((

“About your friend. John Rider” omg Yassen didn’t know!!

Omg is that a picture of John with baby Alex half hidden there??

“Be a good agent, or be a good father. He chose you” 😭😭

“Like someone should be paying me more” “I hear that Scorpia pay really well” ahsdflhsfh JOHN

“Your father was a hero” 😭

“They both were” wait who?

“John never deceived me or played me” 🥺

“It’s quite mad, Julia” lmao Yassen I am so scared for your wellbeing but also good on you

“I know my place” what does that mean????

“I need to know that you’re your father’s son” !!!!! oh I am loving this

“I’m coming home, I promise” oh he’s getting so shot

Overall

Really struggling through the first half of the episode there, what with everyone refusing to make a big deal of Alex joining Scorpia, but the second half really saved it and I absolutely adored the story of the bridge and the flashbacks and the fact that Yassen got told the same story as Alex. Loved Alex deciding to help and his conversations with Blunt.

Thoughts/Predictions

Okay just to get a little bit of ranting out of the way, but I cannot deal with everyone immediately being nice to Alex. Like yeah very sad that he’s sad and angsty but can we please at least lock him up for a bit? Why are you letting him go home when you try to make it look like he succeeded, what kind of foolish plan is that?? You’re lucky Yassen actually did take the surveillance off Jack because frankly if I were Yassen I would not have. Half the characters in this episode were absolutely ridiculous and it made me want to scream. I only trust Blunt and Yassen at this point and maybe Alex, who at least thought he was going to prison.

On the plus side, I was so delighted by the confirmation that Yassen didn’t know about any of the secrets, that he didn’t know about Julia’s plan for Alex (and simply never asked) and that he never knew the truth about John either. And gosh that bit he said about how John never played or deceived him, because yeah, I don’t imagine he did. Yassen was never high up enough to play or get info from, but John looked out for him and saved his life. He cared about baby assassin Yassen. Love Yassen being sincere to Alex about John being his friend and wanting him to join Scorpia because he believes Alex can make a good killer and not knowing they want to kill him, it makes for a better story imo.

I really enjoyed Blunt this episode (as in most eps honestly), I liked how he was already planning ahead with the body bag even if Mrs Jones was the one to suggest Alex going in. His scenes with Alex were some of my favourites in the book and the scene on the bridge was just as good as I imagined based on the behind the scenes footage we got ages ago. Love how Blunt managed to make the flashbacks appear before their eyes simply by talking about it, very impressive.

John’s actor is still such a mixed bag for me, but I like how posh he sounds and any scene where his hair looks more light brown/blonde he immediately becomes more like how I imagined John. I hope we might at least get one scene with Alex’s mother, but I’m not holding too much hope. Has she even been named yet? Aside from the grave, I mean. Loved the bit about John having to choose between being a good agent and a good father and picking Alex though.

Also gosh what was Julia thinking, telling Yassen the story about John? I imagine maybe she wanted him to stop getting hung up on wanting to rescue Alex (which I LOVE, he’s very impersonal about it but he clearly cares about Alex and worries about him), but it seemed to have backfired on her, what with him now thinking she’s taking it all too person. Where will this lead? I hope perhaps we will see Yassen choosing Alex over Scorpia, especially once he sees Alex again and he knows Alex will die if he’s around.

Questions

What did Yassen mean when he said he knew his place??

Is there going to be a hot air balloon??

How is Nile going to die? Is Nile going to die?

#alex rider spoilers #alex rider tv spoilers #alex rider tv #alex rider s3 #cyan watches alex rider s3 #this show alternates between being excruciating to watch and giving me everything i hoped for lol

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dreamwritesimagines · 8 months

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okay everyone’s talking about a pregnant clover so i just wanted to share a little hc i have for them in my mind/what iiii think would happen!!

so ben and clover keep consummating 😈 but it never really happens for them. i feel like it would take a while for them to notice that too like they would just be so wrapped up in each other that the thought of babies wouldn’t really be at the forefront of their minds, yk?

eventually they move out to the countryside and spend most of their time there (just cause that’s what ben n sophie do in the books since all they really need is each other). and they start to talk a bit more about babies and have a second honeymoon trying to conceive 🙈but again, it doesn’t really happen. it breaks both of their hearts but they have their nieces and nephews and teddy and they have each other so they don’t let it get to them.

clover becomes a little feared by the older people in their little town bc of her glare (old habits die hard lol) but somehow someway the kids adore her?? (she’s so good w teddy, i just know she’s good with other kids too) (omg they adore ben too cause how could they not??) so the town kids spend a lot of time on their property. some with ben learning artsy stuff, some with clover learning about plants and gardening!!

this is where it gets weirdly specific lmao-

there’s one kid that spends a lot of time with clover, they’re practically attached at the hip. the kid comes to her house all the time and any time they see each other in the town square the kid runs up to clover and begs to walk around with her and ben. of course, they let the kid do so but clover notices the way their parents behave and then thinks about the kid’s behavior and immediately clocks what’s likely happening behind closed doors. so she confides in ben and then they hatch a plan to get the parents out of town and the kid to move in with them. i picture the kid as young but not super young, maybe 10 or 11? i also think the kid has sibling?? like one that’s 5/6 and one that’s 1/2?? so ben and clover adopt a whole lil family that becomes their own. i feel like maybe a few years after this, ben and clover might have a miracle baby of their own but that would be the only one. clover and ben got their family, clover was able to show those kids that they didn’t deserve what happened to them or how their parents treated them (and i feel like that would help her heal from what her parents did to her and josie) and ben was able to be the hot dad we all know he will be!! (sorry i wanted to think of some sentimental reason for him but i just couldn’t 😭)

so yeah those are my thoughts 😂

an ADDITIONAL thought i had is about josie and bess!! i think they would open up a home for kids that come from abusive homes, orphans, homeless, etc and they would be the best (so sorry for this choice of word, it’s literally the only one coming to mind) wardens??? like the home would literally just be a place of joy bc bess n josie only hire people that actually like children but they would also spend a lot of time with the kids themselves and ik the kids love bess so much. there’s one that really adores josie and bess finds it adorable whenever she sees them together. since bess and josie can’t have kids of their own or really adopt, i see this as their own little way to have a family.

absolutely love gos but i’m so sad for it to be over soon 😭 i’ll have to cope by rereading it a million times <333

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD-

DARLING I LOVE HCS SO MUCH! 😍 Aaaaaa I have so many ideas about this! ❤️

First of all, I totally agree, if they were having fertility issues neither of them would even notice that at first because they're not even thinking about it 😁 And it would be a bit difficult for them when they do, but they definitely wouldn't let it get to them! ❤️

Omg I also agree that like, their property will be very popular because Benedict will be this famous artist and Clover's gardens (MULTIPLE YES) will be huuuge and very beautiful, it'll almost look out of this world, the house and the gardens! Oh and the greenhouse as well! ❤️

Wait, that's so sweeeet! ❤️ Ben and Clover would definitely save those kids and become a family awww❤️ That way, Clover would not only be helping them but also helping herself with like, heal from trauma and become the parent she needed when she was little ❤️

Miracle babyyyy! ❤️ That would be adorable! ❤️ And that baby would already have like 3 overprotective siblings that will adore them ❤️

ben was able to be the hot dad we all know he will be!! (sorry i wanted to think of some sentimental reason for him but i just couldn’t 😭) YOU ARE RIGHT AND YOU SHOULD SAY IT😂

JOSIE AND BESS OPENING A HOME ❤️ This is such a good idea love, they should do that omg I love this! ❤️ They would build their own family like that and everyone in that home would be so happyyy! ❤️

My love, this is amazing! ❤️😍 Thank you so so much for this, I LOVE THIS HC! ❤️❤️❤️

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ruminate88 · 8 months

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A One Sided Relationship

a narcissistic relationship is literally the most one-sided relationship ever…… You’re literally dating yourself but with their face! With my last relationship, I found myself spending literally almost every Friday night alone daydreaming about him thinking about him while he’s at the fraternity house partying his brains out, probably hooking up with every chick but me. Then he would always randomly message me later on the next day and act like everything was great and we were happy and in love and I was his girl and he would spend Saturday night snap chatting me sending me selfies acting like we’re so happy and in love. Meanwhile, every time I would try to confront him or question his behavior he always had crazy excuses to his busy schedule, and treat me like I just didn’t understand his schedule and his stress. 😐

when I look back at that relationship, I remind myself of how much daydreaming and fantasizing I did towards him more than I actually spending time with him. I would obsessively Google all of his social media accounts and look at his Facebook like crazy. I saved a lot of his pictures to my phone and I spent a lot of time just gazing at his photos thinking that he is the cutest boy I’ve ever saw and that I’m so crazy about him but in reality, I don’t even know him. The person he was on his Facebook and his pictures and the person he was talking to me was two different people. The person in his pictures on Facebook, we’re of the successful college man that’s trying to be well to do and really smart and powerful. But the person talking to me was this young little immature horny boy that just wanted to have sex with an OLDER woman and that’s all he talked about, was having sex with me all the time …… Sadly, I told myself the lie that it was love not sex. I disrespected myself by doing so, and I really broke my heart by letting myself believe that I was falling in love with him, and that he could ever love me!! 🥺🥺

I consistently showered him with love and attention he would go sometimes three days before he would ever send me a text and his text was always, “Hey babe 😘” and legit my heart would leap out of my chest with excitement. I would be thrilled to death to hear from him, so happy and shaking, freaking out, and I would try to make myself wait a few minutes before I responded just to make it look like I wasn’t just waiting for him on my phone but obviously I was waiting for him sitting next to my phone crying for days praying and begging for him to text me. I always always responded back to him and gave him the benefit of the doubt and gave him all my love and heart. However, when I would text him, it was a roll of the dice if he would respond to me or not how long it would take for him to respond, and what he would even say to me.

his moods would change throughout the day, some mornings he would be in a great mood, some mornings he would be in a terrible mood, and then later in the day that would change, and he would be opposite of who he was in the morning somethings! I could tell him some things and he seemed like it was great. Sometimes I would tell him things and he would act like I was stupid or other times I would say something and he would get offended or freak out and not like it. I never knew when he was going to be upset at me or not AND I was always walking on eggshells nervous of what I could or couldn’t say to him. The worst part of it all, is I was terrified to not be “good enough” for him and I worked so very hard to be what he wanted. I always always sent him selfies where I was looking “my best” with ALL my make up done up, my hair fixed good and high heels PLUS sometimes I would be in my underwear only just hoping that he would think I was sooo beautiful and love me. 😭😭😭😭😭

How sad and sick is that?

somehow all “the great love” I had given him made me think that it was an OK relationship when honestly, it was a terrible terrible relationship. He had zero care or love for me the whole time even during the love-bomb phase, it was ME that was pouring out love while he was just talking sex. He would send me selfies from his shower naked talking about how bad he wanted me there with him to obviously have sex. It was not because he ever loved me, My feelings or my heart . I wrote him a love song at one point, and I sent it to him from SoundCloud, he never even responded to it, or acted like he listened to it. I should’ve known, then, how little he cared about me, but I was so caught up in his image and caught up in the idea of what our relationship could end up being that I just was so obsessed with him, and just thought that I could never be without him.

I even defended Andrew, when all of my girlfriends came at me hard trying to convince me that he’s a terrible guy and I shouldn’t trust him and that I should break up with him but no, I convinced myself that everything was OK and that he was just truly busy at college and that eventually it will all work out. If I would just be patient and wait next to my phone for him he would eventually change and make time for me because that is what he had promised me over and over and over again……

I found old diary post that I had made back when I was with him and it breaks my heart when I read how many times I was waiting to hear from him, and never knew where he was, what he was doing, or who he was with!! most likely he was with other girls the entire time but somehow I thought he wanted me only, but he would never want me . He told me Christmas day of 2014 that he wasn’t “good enough for me” but the whole time HE NEVER made me feel good enough BUT actually I’m way out of his league AND THAT IS WHY HE probably tried to belittle me SO MUCH and treat me as if I wasn’t enough because deep down he just knew I was high class and he was a loser.

I have been through so many stages with him first I’m sad, then I’m angry, then I’m disappointed, then I’m hurt, then I’m understanding and I’m sorry and regretful, then I want to apologize, but I know I don’t need to apologize. He needs to apologize and he never will because he just can’t unless he makes some kind of major change in his life and I would love that for him and I haven’t given up on hope that maybe one day he could be a better person and it’s sad because I had made up this idea of who I thought he was when I was with him and I love that person still, but I know that person is fake and doesn’t exist and that’s what kills me the most because I literally was wanting to make that person so happy and I wanted to be happy with them and I would still love that but I know it will never ever happen and it’s just crazy. I never met anyone like him before that I was aware of except for Cody who was similar but even Cody was somewhat different.

my advice to anyone else that has been through a narcissistic relationship, don’t give up on yourself don’t give up on love don’t beat yourself up I know you do because I do too, and I don’t care what people say it doesn’t matter if it’s been four years seven years 10 years, if you still think about them, it’s OK and you can still want the best for them and you really don’t know them, is the problem… you’re thinking about the version that you thought they were and that’s what really sucks but there again it’s OK and you shouldn’t be too hard on yourself because I know I am hard on myself because I feel like how stupid was I but in reality, I just really really love people so much that it hurts me and I know a lot of people say that’s not good but I say love is good and you should always love people still and hope the best for them even if you can’t have them in your life because they’re bad for you. You can still have a great love for them and still wish them well and want the best for them.

and I know you miss the narcissist and you want them back. You are tempted to break contact and message them again I think about it all the time what I would do or say to my exes Cody and Andrew, however, I know that it is one-sided, they do not care about me. They will only hurt me and let me down, and I would be hurting myself by running back to them and that would be really really sad for me to do that That would be a punishment to myself to run back to them and so I remain strong and I remain far away from them, but they always always consume my mind 24 seven and that’s just the life that I have right now I believe that can I change one day but I I just function with it cuz what else can you do?

don’t give up, you are not alone, and if you need someone to understand, I am here and I understand that it really really sucks to love a narcissist when they can never love you back even though at one point during the lovebomb phase, you believed that they were really into you and they were making you feel so good about yourself but that was just setting you up for failure because I could only disappoint you and let you down and guess what? That will never ever change …… A narcissist will never ever care about you or treat you right or give you what you deserve, you can ask them 100 times what you want from them and they will say they’re going to give it to you, but they never will. They will never come through for you. They will never ever ever show you the care and concern that you so desire from the person you think is your love partner and match oh, it’s so sad to believe that they are somebody you could maybe have a future with when in reality they are not even thinking about you most of the time there eyes are consistently on other people.

I truly believe my ex narcissist, Andrew, put a love spell on me & that’s why I’ve been so so obsessed because I didn’t like him upon meeting him but it didn’t take long before he was my entire world and I was out of my mind hooked on him. He confused every part of me and still consumes a portion of my mind/life.

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